#esme is such a lil bitch im so

[teamjacobthot]

Dee anything that annoys you a lot

lots of things actually!!! I’m in a shitty mood rn so you caught me at the right time 💜 I’ll just list things until I feel better

when ceiling fans get dusty

dust in general

my family

when ppl say “I could care less” like no it’s you COULDNT care less bc you’re trying to emphasize that you don’t care

men with gross fingernails. like why are you pursuing me and there’s dirt under your nails. do u genuinely think you’re going to touch MY pussy w dirt underneath your fingernails

when i scoop up my dogs poop (i got a dog in september btw) and he barks at me for it??? like I’m tryna help YOU

when fanfic writers use a million different words to describe the mechanics of sex like dude idc i just wanna know if they love each other

the old ppl who call into my job

influencers

when I’m getting my nails done and my nail tech uses that nail drill and it touches my nail bed like omg that shit HURTS i hate it it happens every time and if i could stand to see myself w stubby nails I’d stop getting my nails done altogether

the fact that im not good at practical shit that would save me money and make my own life easier like cornrowing my hair or doing my own nails or cooking or changing a tire or general home repairs

jesy nelson

short coffin shaped nails

one kiss by dua lipa. it’s not a good song

pop music by british white girls in general. this does not apply to dua lipa or charli xcx tho

the fact that my leah fic won’t write itself and I told myself chapter 5 would be done tonight and it’s nOT

season 8 of modern family. I’m only like 4 episodes in but why is it so sexual??????

white pop music fans

anti vaxxers but especially how they don’t wear their masks and they don’t stay their ass in the house either

white rappers

when ppl say canon charlie is a great dad bc he’s not as negligent as renee. he’s still not that good of a parent. however tho when I write him I always attribute a lot of his hands-off parenting to his anxiety and knowledge of renee’s poor parenting style as well as bella not expressing her needs more due to her own anxiety. but anyways

when ppl refer to esme as a milf. shes not hot to me sorry

when girls don’t tell you where they got their clothes from like it’s THAT exclusive like bitch don’t be weird

when “boys will be boys” is used to defend sexual harassment. “boys will be boys” should be 100% exclusively used in reference to boys being silly and getting into funny avoidable situations. “boys will be boys” is about kenan and kel, drake and josh, big time rush, and zach and cody.

the end of you season 3

when ppl defend their less talented faves w wild ass statements like “pop stars don’t HAVE to have stage presence or perform well” like what???????? yes they do!!!!!!! that’s in the job description!!!!!!!!!!!!!

justin timberlake

when I’m reading a fic and the outfits are being described a lil too in detail for the plot. like ok sure if a character is nervous for a first date then we should know the fit bc that’s a part of it. but if they’re just going to the store to buy milk and nothing out of the ordinary happens why do we need to know

the fact that smeyer named that man Samuel Uley. why did she name him that. anyways his new name is Samson Uley

when I’m reading a fic and the world doesn’t feel lived in esp when the setting is important or there are side characters with speaking lines

pretentious ppl in line for concerts. like dude idc if you got tickets to the la show too we’re all fans who bought tickets to tonight’s show wtf are u trying to prove

short pop songs. ik why (streaming) why are we abandoning bridges???????? why are we abandoning outros and prechoruses????????????? every pop song should be at minimum 3:30

lana del rey’s setlist when I went to her concert in 2019. she barely played Shit from her new album at the time. it was all fucking born to die songs like why would u release your best album (nfr) and not perform it

THE FACT THAT LIKE EVERY TRENDY WOMENS SHIRT U CAN BUY TODAY THATS NOT A T SHIRT IS CROPPED. WHY CANT I HAVE THIS CUTE TOP JUST COVER MY STOMACH

ppl who think it’s quirky to post abt how they only consume iced coffee and adderall like dude shut up that’s not a flex eat a piece of bread

when ppl are afraid to use the block button and would rather engage in internet bullshit and stress out irl abt it like why are you letting a whole ass stranger impact your internet experience like that??? how are u letting someone stress you out on YOUR phone. continued harassment is different but like dude just block em

unqualified judges on reality tv shows. like why was jameela jamil a judge on legendary

jameela jamil

the last few seasons of america’s next top model

america’s next top model cycle 5 winner nicole

when men without jobs try to date me. i get that it’s a pandemic and I understand it’s tough rn and it’s absolutely fine if you’re in between jobs. but dating in general is expensive so why are u trying to date me instead of make money so u can afford to date at all

water sign men. ugh

99% of all aquarius ppl I’ve ever met, the exception being tinashe and only bc I don’t know her personally but if I did I feel like she’d get on my nerves in that unique way that only aquarius ppl can get on my nerves

when ppl think aquarius is a water sign “because aqua!!!!!” aquarius is the water BEARER

the non-incarcerated ppl on the “outside” on the show love after lockup. the second their partner gets released from prison it becomes clear they they think they own them bc they put money on their books. like your partner just got outta jail and wanna see their mom or their kid or whatever and they have like 3 hours to enjoy the outside before going into the halfway house like why tf do u think they immediately should fuck you in the car on the way to the halfway house????? stupid ass

when my parents think my extended family give a shit abt me or I should give a shit abt them like idc if this random ass cousin held me as a baby they literally do not know me

the fact that my work cut our lunches down to 30 minutes. idc if it’s the “industry standard” we’re all still working for 8 hours anyway. give me my hour long lunch so I can take a nap assholes

ronnie from jersey shore. there’s nothing likable about him it’s insane

when the main couple of teen romance media is the ONLY couple. like why is nobody else dating. teens go on double dates all the time. i hate when teen romances are so mf SERIOUS like you are 16 have fun……go bowling or sumn..,,,,,,,,,

when teens on the internet say the most heinous shit you’ve ever heard and immediately follow it up with “UM! I’m a minor!” when someone says what they said was fucked up

real housewives of potomac but really all of them. what’s the point of those ladies always going to dinner and on vacations with each other when they don’t even like each other. why would they go on vacation just to argue

deadbeat dads. like what’s wrong with u that’s your SON

how hard it is to cancel a savage x fenty vip membership

halloween kills. like I’ll watch any horror movie but that shit was deadass terrible idk why they thought putting that movie out was a good idea

the fact that zoey 101 didn’t have a laugh track. the jokes weren’t landing hard enough on their own and the lack of a laugh track made the beachy socal score seem extra loud so the episodes feel like long ass commercials

in n out burger. californians are liars bc those burgers taste like hot fucking flavorless meat and fries taste like cardboard. the food looks delicious in pics tho

moving. like this shit is so hard for no reason

when ppl take pics w flash when the lighting is perfectly fine as is like what are u DOING

flies. get the hell out of my house

when something bad happens to a celeb v publicly and ppl start with “I may not like her music but…” like I promise nobody asked

season 4 of crazy ex girlfriend. so many plots of the episodes are just bad and the songs aren’t even that good

gina rodriguez. she gives me heebie jeebies

the way they victorious ended. we didn’t even get a finale

when someone posts abt a loved one dying and ppl immediately ask “how?” (I see this on facebook a lot) LIKE WHY WOULD U ASK THAT SOMEONE JUST DIED

when pwp fics suddenly develop a plot in the last few chapters like I’m supposed to care

when fics portray leah as meek and mousy and w low self esteem. like no thanks. we can tell a story without the bellaswanification of leah clearwater thank yew

winter. what does anyone gain from being cold and the sun setting at 5pm

those fucking scam calls with the guy speaking abt the rapture or whatever in a very panicked urgent voice

bbl fashion. why are u wearing biker shorts and a waist trainer while carrying a BIRKIN

answering lyric questions on uquiz. I don’t listen to taylor swift why do I have to pick one of her lyrics

swifties

pop stans who think future nostalgia “saved” pop music

anybody who says “pure pop” to describe music

jay from modern family. ik it won’t happen but I hope he dies in the finale

ticketmaster

when ppl say “his/her” bitch just say they

the fact that recreational weed isn’t legal in all 50 states here like it’s literally just weed relax

thanks for asking!

[violetsbaudelaire]

asoue/atwq characters as things i've said/typed

violet: [shakes the brain juice around in my skull so it gets all frothy and bubbles come outta my ears] klaus: do u think there’s a word for the concept of saying a word enough times that it doesn’t sound like a word any more? can we make that word not sound like a word any more? does it not even sound or look like a word in the first place? do you think they thought that through, sunny: [bonks u over the head with a very long piece of bread] duncan: twitter be like "I'm gonna piss someone off and it's gonna be funny. :)" isadora: motherfucker of bitch     quigley: katamari: roll that shit up boi !!!!!!!!!!! fiona: i legit just had a hugeass fucking brainshit from trying to remember how to spell visible. carmelita: imagine being a dumb and gay little bitch (i don’t have to) friday: oh... frickafrack. beatrice ii: [toddler noises][eats shell][more toddler noises] kit: pls look in2 my eyes and tell me we cock dick ballin 😔 jacques: there is things that are happening, currently lemony: ykno that edit of all star where it just keeps saying "and they don't stop coming" ? bc im.... rlly feeling tht rn. beatrice: [shatters the ramune bottle to get the lil marble inside] bertrand: here are some of my favorite uwu-isms, ellington: me at my friends: we've all got trauma, bitch, let's get u some FRUIT!! moxie: to be fair, penis ridiculous, penis stupendous, and penis extremous all sound like wizard spells. cleo: i swallowed i penny once when i was little pip/squeak: being alive is fucking stupid i just wanna eat grass josephine: thou and tho are two completely different things, you FOOL. hugo: denny’s are ominous. colette: roll up five blunts call that a high five kevin: i know how to be stupid.... professionally. olaf: sun’s on fire. esme: my gray matter does not support higher thinking olivia: you've heard of Big Dick Energy... but now it's time for... Cute Pussy Energy. jacquelyn: skate slow, drink pussy. monty: dude i’d shit if dragons were real gustav: do you think he has something called a mariguana georgina: THOSE EYES CAN SEE GOD jerome: yikes on bikes

asoue as a whole: my life has been just a bunch of varying degrees of inconveniences.

[naveenscrackwhore]

petition to make papi naveen, june, tobias, the whole hospital, ethonk's dad, the loml aurora, my lil' bean esme, badass bitch kyra, flee rat landry (so i can seduce him and than poison him), my baby sienna, my player #1 elijah, my queen harper, hamilton, grumpy hamilton, resident who can do wonders, surfer boy as LIs. im not asking pb...im telling🥰😘

[finding-the-daylight]

Today has been a very stressful day, so guess wtf time it is? Drunk Breaking Dawn Pt. 1. Here is what I soberly remember of the movie (I have not watched it since BD2 came out): 

1. There’s a wedding.

2. There’s a honeymoon.

3. There’s swimming in the ocean.

4. There’s an accidental pregnancy.

5. The baby almost kills Bella.

6. The canon incident that we all hate happens.

7. The Volturi evilly laugh. 

Same as Eclipse, my drunken narration of the movie will be below the break.

A brief intro statement, I was 100% sober and just beginning to drink at the beginning of the Eclipse post and progressively got more drunk. For BD1, I’m throwing back before I even start watching this shit show.

- I love the effects of the intro. it’s very calming. THe putting away childish things quote is literally a Bible verse. I hate that Stpehen appropriated Quileute culture, Christian culture, and every culture. I know she’s mormon but sitll. THis shit feels real appropriated.

- Idk why rennee is all happy. she never gave a shit before.

- OMG ALICE TEHCING BELLA TO WALK IN HEELS IS THE CUTEST ICRY.

- carlisle carryign the bench is literally the hottest hting i’ve ever seen fck

- lowkey kinda creeprd out because she’s literally sacrificing her humanity to marry this deud she’s known for like a year but everyone other than jacob is super supportive

- damn she’s looking @ this dreamcatcher and it’s making me sad but tbh that shit probably caused half her nightmares because she’s not native so sleep paralysis (if you know you know).

- DAMN EDWAD RELALY JUST ADMITTED HE’S BEEN A VIRGING FOR OVER 100 YEARS WHAT AB RAVE MAN WE STAN

- BUT FOR REAL WHY IS NO ONE FREAKING TF OUT THAT SHE’S LITERALLY BEGGING TO DIE FOR THIUS DUE?

- he just todl her hes killed people and explained it and it didn’t work she’s still down to clown with this vapire emo boi

- HOW HE’S SMILTING @ HR WTF I AM SO ALONEEEE

- i just wama ne im loved amd ne loved in retun plz

- this dream sequence is awful also fck the volturi is til hate that they never overthrew that crabbyass monarchy bullshit they were powerful enough

- i just wanna be like rosalie when i greow up

- charlie knew shit was off when he saw those crapsk 

- why the HELL is renen actin liks she cares? bitch go the fuck back home

- jessica is the only one with any damn common sense in this whole series talking about they’re too fucking young for this shitt bitch true and itm akes sene now why she was the valedictioajrn 

- SLEEPING AT LAST IS THT GROUP IDK IF YALL HAVE HEARD ANY OF HTEIR OTHER STUFF BUT THEY’RE AMAIZNG AND I USED TO CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP # THAT SHIT

- damn id’ be fuckign panicking too your lfie is over hoe 

- stpeheen sto pwiht your racist ass smiling its offensive

- CHARLIE FUCKING DEWEVRE BETTER SOMEONE LOVE HIM PLEASR

- this wedding is gorgoeus though i live for hte fuckj g aestiec 

- OH MY GORD THE PROM SONGGGGGGGG  FCK ME RIGHT IN THE EMO 

- IT JUST HIT ME WHN THEY WRE LOOKI  @ EACH OTHERS EYES THIS BTCH REALLY MARYING AN UNDRSF VAMPIRE HOE this shit is horryighn why was i not scare?

- carlisle is the love of y life

- sth is a lil ray of sunishen 

- i just reaized howd fucked it is that sue and chalrie are starng to catch feelz ut sue knows his daughter is funckugn off with a unded vamp emo iboi

- OMG I FCUKING HATE STEPHENE RACIST ASS I LEGIT MADE AP OST EARLIER SYAING LAURENT WANTED TO DO THE RIGHT THING ANDWOUVLEBE BEND A VEGETATIAN BITCH AND IRENEA CONFIRMED FCK THIS SHIT IM OUT ANG ANGRY

- charlie is gget ing drunk as hell my spiritn animel

- jesica is smart and beautiful she needs t os stop being jealous and petty know ya wotht girlie you got itl

- I SWEAR WHEN IGET MARRIED OSMEDAY IF ANYONE GIVES A SPEECH LIKE THIS I WILL PERSONALLY DRAGT HER ASS OUT.

- edwar lves her so much fck im all alone\

- how haoph hacob is when they hig i hate canonn they were best friends fc,

- jacob stay the fck outta her sex life she;s been wanting this for ad dman year fkc steohe let them jsut befriend

- steh is so swert but e is a chidl fck the is reacist plot bulshit

- CHARLIE DESEVRD BETTR FCK THIS PLOT FOR REAL I HAE CANON

- bela looks os ad she knows it’s goodbye but edward’s family is all smiling because they have her now hwat fthe ckc

- jac0bs cryng my heart brke

- i love bineg dunk 

- the scene isn rio is my faorite isn any of the movies eveyrhting looks warm and happy

- this bich can drive ab oat too damn he can just fod evryhin cant he

- CARLISLE BOUGHT A WHOEL DAMN ISALND FOR HIS WIFE AND I CANT ECVE GET A TEXT BACK? 

- deis this honeymon scene make anuone else unconmfy becuae same

- marying a vampire would be horrying af but also hot af and good af becuase htye oculd love so much and protect you from everythign fck 1-/10 woukd efeel safe

- bwll gaving a panic attakc ism e anyt tinme i try talking to an attractive man

- slepeign at last fckign ti up agin bit ch theis m yshit 

- when he said it was the best night i cred 

- tstoehe added the chess game like this shit is a hoje but i would love to play chess on my honemodn idk how uut  i want a man to each me but not mansplin

- WHY THE FUCJ AR THEY SO CTE ON THIS AMN HONEYMOON?

- i know i sadn it was horryig but i want a hotass vamp emo boi husband plas 

- damn jacob is being too emo she aint really gonan be ded for ever youll see her agianb itch

- ‘CULLENS ARE NOT A DNAGER TO THE TOWN OR TRUBE” BITCH IB EG TO FUCKIN DIFFER THIS SHIT BIOLOGICAL WARDARE RACIST ASS STPEHEN WRITING THIS FUCKING BULLTSIT

- ‘NONE OF THEM BELONG TO THEMSEVLES ANYGMROE” - SOMEONE SAID IT BITCH THSI SHIT IS FUCKRE IP

- i fucking hates these vamp racist bitches but i want a nonracist va,p husband bitch thus hot afck

- how tf does she not know shes rpegr yet eatin this weid ass shit?

- THESE FKERS BEEN AROUND FOR CENTURIES TLAKING BOU IDK IF ITS VEEN POSSIBEL BTICH YU SHOULD FUCKUGN KNO BY NOW

- ROVERT SPOEAKIN G PORTGUEVE IS SO KING ATRACTIV

- poor bella her life chaned so uqick and she[s soc scared fck dcnaon

- POOR CHARLIE I HATE THIS HE DESERVES TO BE LOVED AND TURTH TOLD

- ROSALEI IS THE EST 

- “YOU LOOK TERRBLE’ THIS IS THE FRIENDHSOP WE WANT WHYT THE FCK DOES FOPSTHE RUIN EALL THIS SHIT

- CARLISE IS FUNCIGJ HOT

- LIRALY BITCH I JUST WNAT A PURE FIRENDHSIP WUTH JACOB AND BELLA ITS WHAT THEY DESERVE FJC CAON

 - this montage is turopy a f when youre drunk waht the helc por jake thugh

- im sorry but i;n laughign my ass off at these fuckugn wolf vocie overs lmaoooo this shit hilarious

- SETH HAS SUCH A PURE HEART WHTY TF DID SPTEHEH RUIB HUS FUCJING CHILDHOOD BULTHIST

- WHY IS EVEYRIJE BSUCG AFUCKUGN BUTCG TO LEAH???? SHE DESEVRED THE FUCKING WORLD STPEHEN IS A RACISHT BITCHHHHHH

- calisbe is fos unicngn hot

- i just reaized robert is like the best fuckugn actor like this diolaguge is wha k as fuck btu he’s acitng all emo boi oscar worhty shti

- they realy had her fuckin drink blodo i hate cannjnonnn

- ifelel the same as kaje watchign this 

- but carlisle’s prety face made it all fuckig hetter

- FUCKRT HIS SHTI CHARLIE DESERVED BETTER HE’S THE BEST DAD FCK CANO NFUCK STEPRHNE 

- okay ut id is cute as fkc whe nedward hears the baby 

- esme and calrisle wilougn to risk their lives for bella i cryi

- fkc i really do hate cnaon because jake is acting liek an adult now and trying to do the honrble thig bue he should be a hpaoy chidl 

-  resnemsien is a ficking ridjcils name and we all fuckj nnew

- i ahte this part i’n bot even wathcing this shit rgros me rout 

- WHY THDID FUCK DID THIS BITCH HAVE A FUKCUNG SYRINGE OG VENOM LAYING AORUND? HOE!?!?!

- literlaiy fuick the dynamics of this whole moty hfknfucjg storyline plot bitch

- LEAH AND STHE DESERVERD BETTER

- SO DID JACOB

- SO DID ALL THE WOLFPAKC STPEHEN IS A RACIST AS SHOE

- aw hell here the fucks we hgo with theu ickgn im************** bulshit i ghate cnaojn canon can suck ad ick

- YES BILLY DEFEND YOUR CHIDL 

- rosalie is literally perfect when cnai b ehr 

- im real glad im drunk rin now because ioculd nto sit throguh this shit sober

- imp&******* is the worst plotline fkc]

- bit iamgiben falling alseo lookin gsick and waking up fhot as uck goals

- this sogn making me cry literlalu imcruing ims o alone lmao

- rheye really ended htoe move wirh red eyws lmaoooo

- hodl the fick up a damn minute stpeehebn producre htis cufkcng shit?

- now heres the hoes iv’ve been waiting on burnt the monarch fuckwits i hate thes epompis fuckers

- OVERTURBR THESE FUCKSERS THEY HAVE TIOO MUCH POWR 

CARLISR COULD FUCKING D OI T I HATE CNAON BRING THE VAMPIRE DECONOARCY

- OOHG BRUNNO MARS BRINGNG THE FUCKING SIMPSSHOES ANTHM I NEEDLOVE IT

[pastelvirgil]

one day at a time au

so me and @virmillion had a lot of fun with this one

cast (bringing in a lot of the shorts characters simply bc of the sheer number of people): 

logan as elena

roman as alex

patton as syd

virgil as penelope

thomas as lydia

remy as schneider

and picani as berkowitz

the recurring cast:

deceit as esme

dragonwitch as vicbitch (victor,,, bc i thought snek would be more esme than total fuckwad)

october as carmen

august as that one guy elena “”dated”” 

“ augustxlogan 2klikethreedays” -lab

the therapy group: tasks/other misc. shorts characters

the gay one: magenta

max as september/seth

okey doke storytime under the cut (spoilers, obviously)

so you may be thinking

“the main plot of s1 is literally elena and her quinces” which yes,, youre right

but plot twist logan is afab!!!! and just for funsies his birthname is elena

(elena -> L -> logan)

(admit it,,, its a little clever)

“does lo even get a quinces then??” you ask

here’s the kicker: nonbinary (im leaning genderfluid) logan

who uses she/he/they

so the answer is y e s

superficially logan (””elena””) is against the quinces for same reasons as canon!elena

but actually??? logan also is against it bc he is Not Cis and Not A Girl

logan being as unapologetically queer as canon elena y e e t

basically a lot of the episode plots are similar

elena coming out as gay to penelope ->

logan coming out as gay and genderfluid to virgil

thomathy is Excite/Panic for all the clothes he gets to make

thomas: this is GREAT because i GET TO MAKE SO MANY CLOTHES

thomas: i don't have TIME to make SO MANY CLOTHES

but at the end of s1 thomas makes the suit and logan is “!!!!!!!!”

let’s focus on alex!roman for a little bit

so i originally picked ro for alex bc Charisma: 100

but also- roman speaks spanish and logan doesn’t really in canon

same hat in odaat w/alex and elena respectively

plus when alex gets Exite and Passionate about making the film???

roman to a T

and for Reasons even though its not odaat canon

roman as aroace

dragon bitch gets sucker punched with lots of queer

(virgil is bi but doesnt really figure it out/accept himself until post logan’s coming out)

anyways though vicbitch not accepting logan and then roman (who figured himself out through Queer Exposure) comes out 

(in like s2 timeline bc roman meeting in secret with the dragon witch hoOOO BOI) 

and vicbitch gets “ literally two whole ass gut punches” (to quote lab)

(three if u count virge being all “hey,, bi the way,, get out and away from my kids”)

virgil as penelope:

anxiety??? check

virgil with ptsd hhnnggghhh

and also lbr virgil is 94% of thomas’ impulse control

ergo,, the perfect person to reign in thomas at his most Extra

thomathy and picani dancing around each other just a lil

but in this au thomas has like,,, Major Repression so he really doesnt date anyone

not to mention if thomas is lydia theretically thomas has a berto of his own

but het (i hesitate to say it but potentially valerie????)

i would love to see snek and thomas duking it out over scarlett sunrise tho for some reason

schneider! remy: both equal amounts of human disaster honestly

so,,,, s2

patton!!! as!!!! syd!!

logicality as nonbinary d8 m8s fight me

patton?? doing the Big Ask???

yes p l e a s e

the “gay?? gay!! me gay!!!!” scene

skipping over A Lot of details bc

a) lazy

b) its been a hot sec since i watched this

(odaat is so good though everyone needs to watch it u will not regret)

(c a n o n  g a y,, people,,, canon gay (and canon nb!!!!))

s2 finale: honestly, thomathy would be the type to milk a “death” scene as much as lydia did

[esmcwilliams-blog]

hello my loves !! my name is beth, i’m 22, from boring old england and i love crying at cartoon shows and taking 4 hour long depression naps. under the cut u can find some info about my bby esme!! if you like her, go ahead and click that lil heart and i’ll hit up ur ims to plot!!

( josefine frida pettersen - cisfemale, she/her ) — did you see esme williams walking down the street? the twenty two year old has lived here for four months. i heard they’re a barmaid now, time sure flies. primadonna girl by marina & the diamonds always did remind of them, maybe it’s because they’re so ethereal & sophisticated. though i did hear they can also be naive & spoiled if you catch them on a bad day. 

 she was born on the 17th of august to two socialites in new york city

an only child, esme ariadne williams was spoilt completely. anything she wanted she got. two ponnies, the largest bedroom,constant trips to disneyland.

at the age of four, esme set her mind to dancing, particlarly ballet.

it started off as just a hobby for her, but soon enough, her mother was pushing her into competitions, shows, music videos.

eventually it was something esme began to tire of. although she still loved it she lost her passion. 

she got a passion for art instead, but her parents never allowed her to quit dancing. they were proud of their star. she had traveled and performed all over the world, after all. buut being forced to do something wasnt something es enjoyed.

her parents pushed her into many things, including an engagement. esme barely knew the man that was two years her senior. but she knew of his family. a senator as a father, a judge as a mother. on paper they were a perfect match.

although esme did enjoy having a lavish life style and being wealthy, one day it just became too much for her. she was sick of being told what to do, how to act, who to be friends with, who to marry.

she wanted to forge her own path. make mistakes, live on the edge. so she packed up, withdrew all the money she could from her savings account and left new york.

thats when she ended up here, after a little road trip. it wasn’t meant to be a permanent stay, but she’s been around for a round four months now and is learning to stand on her own two feet

esme has never had to do anything for herself before. she’s never had to work, because she had dedicated all her life to ballet.

she may seem suck up and like a princess at first, but es is actually such a sweetie.

esme parents always drove into her the idea that she was better than everyone. for a while, she believed it. but now she knows its not true. but there are still times where she may still believe it, but bare with her, she’s working on it. aka sometimes she’ll act like a bitch and sometimes she’ll be the nicest person you’ve ever met. sometimes she’ll judge you, other times she’ll laugh along with you

she’s literally useless!! like, she didnt even know how to use a microwave until taught. she can barely use a washing machine. doesn’t know how to catch a bus etc. pls someone teach her

sarcasm and witty jokes go straight past her. she has such a simplistic sense of humor

really intelligent on issues like philosophy etc. but maths?? science?? no thanks

also a closeted bisexual bc its 20gayteen and i like angst

possible connections;

friends/best friends

bad influence/good influence

her ex fiance

childhood friend/ex

friend from the road

ex fling from the road (the road gets lonely)

current fling???

roommate??

IM BAD WITH CONNECTIONS pls dont hate me i can brainstorm i promise

[orange-twilight]

here is my brain's inner-workings during new moon. enjoy.

charlie is the best dad ever i love him

bella is reading r&j her senior year. i read that shit my freshman year.

bella is 18 now. at least e&b arent as creepy now.

edward looks like hes in pain omg

alice made me gay

*about alice* my sister: her outfits arent that bad. oh. nevermind.

bella needs to chill on the eyebrow plucking

why does the volturi painting look like the inside of a fucking sephora hghakshs

shut up edward and yo emo ass

rosalie is a goddess

esme is wearing like the same thing she wore when bella met her the first time but in dress form

YEET

jasper no. jasper YES.

i see why everyone is thirsty for carlisle. that man a fine glass of wine.

oh no the breakup scene

i love bella

this is so sad alexa play possibility

bella is serving lesbian looks

bella is so pretty ugh im gay

we dont deserve charlie

YEET pt 2

mike go choke

jake calm yo dick and get consent

why does bella have so many goddamn lamps and string lamps in her room theres like 11

if jacobs skin is like 108 or whatever shouldnt bella burn her skin whever she touches him

bitch's last words were literally going to be to her ex bf smh

fellas am i gay if i wanna kiss bella

bella never disrespect a man in a wheelchair. he may not be able to walk but he can still whoop that ass.

sam back there really with his fist in the air as a stop signal i am howling

they broke billys boat wtf

god i love the wolves

okay but like in the books they are shape-shifters so everytime they say wherewolf i gag

is that a gay joke jacob i see you you lil bitch

she gon loose her jacket and bracelets up there. bitch put them in your shoe or bra or some shit smh

alice is back bitchessssss

bitch left a note for her dad that she was flying across the earth wtfffffff

a depressed vampire, a gay vampire, and an angry vampire vs one human girl. who will win?

ahahaha the irony of st marcus's day ahahahahah

they gon eat the secretary as a dessert lmao

i think the lil volturi battle in the end of new moon is so cool man

god i love bella

rosalie... girl that wig.........

four seconds for this bitch to react to him proposing bitch wtf

[violetsbaudelaire]

esme, duncan and kit for the character meme!

since this is three i’ll bundle em all up hehe uwu

-How I feel about this character: esme is a dynamite bitch and i love her, the absolute best villain to love. duncan is this precious lil dude who just LOVES journalism LOOK at him he’s so SMALL!!!! PERFECT baby ;w; and KIT!!!! kit,..,., violet’s auntie!!!! kit is such a complicated character i lov her sm (yes i believe violet snicket, do not fight me on this sdgouhsg)

-All the people I ship romantically with this character: *with esme: jacquelyn, olivia (show) (gimmie da lesbianths..,.) *with duncan: KLAUS. little bookworm bois ;w; *with kit: dewey, tbh. really i think kitlaf is nice BEFORE pedolaf decided to go apeshit, but after that im like “hell no ty lol” with kitlaf. dewkit is the best uwu ALSO perhaps beatrice and kit bc.,,,. cuties uwu

-My non-romantic OTP for this character: *with esme: beatrice and esme is prob the best brotp i can think of. just two chaotic women living their fullest lives. causing mayhem. truly the best. *with duncan: carm and duncan and vi and duncan as ive said before - these two r prob trying their HARDEST to bring out the hidden chaotic layer he has. (and they succeed sometimes heehoo) *with kit: beatrice and kit and esme, the power trio. chaos. CHAOS.

-My unpopular opinion about this character: *ESME IS THE BEST VILLAIN IN ASOUE AND SHOULD HAVE KILLED OLAF idfk if that’s unpopular but it’s MY opinion and im DYING BY THIS. *duncan is a soft little boy with an underlying chaotic layer, and will only be feral with the proper prompting. *kit: i think she has long, dark brown hair, blue eyes, some freckles, and wears glasses. she puts her hair up a lot. i do see why ppl see her as blonde but personally i see her as a brunette. uwu

-One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.: esme should have gotten a redemption arc. she’s been thru a lot of pain which has caused her to go full batshit, bless her heart. allow her to answer for her crimes and try to get better. duncan my poor boy, let he and isadora reunite with their triplet brother and their friends in safety. ty. kit shouldnt have died and nobody is allowed to fucking fight me on this.

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