#beatrice snicket

[woundupabadcomedian]

i've been thinking of what happens to the baudelaires post-canon (ignoring the beatrice letters bc my heart can only take so much) and god there is so much potential there- so. here are my post-canon baudelaire headcanons bc i have to let them out somewhere!

violet:

she never gets her diploma or anything, instead insisting on working multiple low-paying jobs in order to pay for the needs of her and her siblings (it takes some convincing from klaus to get her to agree that he and sunny should go back to school. before she was willing to figure out some way to homeschool them rather than risk something happening to them while theyre gone)- because of this, they are able to rent a one-bedroom apartment and stay there until she turns eighteen.

violet develops terrible insomnia. when she manages to rest, she can only stay asleep for periods of about thirty minutes before she wakes up again because of some imagined threat. when klaus and sunny ask about this, she just says she must've heard baby beatrice stirring in the middle of the night.

she's incredibly paranoid about what did or did not happen while she was drugged at heimlich hospital.

overprotective to a fault. the first time klaus brings home a boy for her to meet, she nearly attacks him. sunny accidentally starts a small fire while cooking and violet removes the toaster and microwave from the kitchen.

she realizes that she's aroace!! this one could just be me projecting but. she discovers that she has no romantic interest in others, and at first she thinks it's because she's traumatized by the prospect of longterm commitment because of the marvelous marriage. but by the time she's twenty and has seen klaus go through three boyfriends, she finds a term for herself and comes out as aroace (klaus is obviously the first person she tells- he just hugs her and assures her that there is more than one type of love.)

violet couldn't look at bea for the first month on the island. every time she did, she was reminded of both kit's and beatrice's deaths, as well as all the conflicted feelings that came with finding out about her mother's involvement in vfd. once she finally accepted that bea was a baby and had no involvement with kit or her namesake, she was the most loving mother figure she could be.

when she has particularly bad days, she needs reminders that her and her siblings aren't running from anything. there have been times where she ushers klaus, sunny, and bea into a closet because she swears she heard count olaf's voice.

out of all the baudelaires, i feel like violet is the most likely to turn to some sort of substance abuse. do with that what you will.

she doesn't invent anymore. after so long of her inventions only being used out of necessity, she can't bring herself to do it for her own enjoyment. whenever klaus inquires about why she stopped, she tells him that she simply lost interest. all her ribbons have been given to sunny.

klaus:

when they first arrive from the island, klaus buries himself in his schoolwork. he needs to feel useful, and with violet insisting on carrying the burden of being provider for their family, he dedicates himself to being the best student he can, because if his sister isn't even getting to go to school, who is he to get anything less than straight As? this proves to be difficult for him, especially because he struggles with focusing on something if it isn't interesting to him. (he tries not to think of how much of a failure he feels like when violet has to help him with a physics assignment)

he takes care of sunny and bea while violet is at work in the evenings, and is incredibly close with them because of it.

it takes him a year, but he comes to terms with the fact that he was never going to like isadora back, and when he goes to come out to violet, she just replies with "i know" and doesn't bring it up again unless klaus tells her about his crushes.

although it isn't diagnosed, klaus has autism- his sensory issues regarding touch never used to affect him as much until after count olaf. there are days where he will have a meltdown if someone touches him without some sort of warning.

eventually, klaus attends university, and he gets a degree in history. throughout the four years he attended for, he always lived at home.

every time he has to make a major decision, he runs it past violet. whether it be out of habit or reverence, he needs her advice before he can move forward.

he gets frequent nightmares, mostly about his sisters getting hurt. violet has to reassure him when he wakes up that both she and sunny are alive.

sunny:

after the events of asoue, sunny loses a lot of her speech. she doesn't speak gibberish anymore, and what grasp she had on actual english seems to be limited to understanding it and not speaking it.

she spends a lot of her time cooking. with violet working constantly and klaus doing homework even after school, sunny is left to her own devices for a good portion of her day, and so she spends the time perfecting intricate recipes.

sunny is incredibly close with bea. while violet and klaus act as parents to her, sunny is the big sister that enables all of bea's troublemaking, and vice versa.

as sunny gets older, she begins to forget the events that she and her siblings lived through. when violet and klaus realize this, violet seems relieved while klaus is almost offended that they no longer have that shared experience. to avoid this response from him, sunny plays along with anything he mentions from her infancy, hoping that he won't question it when she doesn't add anything to the conversation, instead just nodding along.

sunny, around the age of ten, begins rebelling in any way she can from violet's micromanagement. this leads to a feud between them that lasts months, as sunny sees her sister's strict rules as obsessive, while violet sees it as doing her best to keep sunny safe.

when sunny loses her baby teeth, the teeth that grow back in are normal in sharpness. she doesn't know how to cope with the fact that the one thing that supposedly made her helpful to her siblings is now not even something that she can access if she wanted to.

[navree]

It's not very quantifiable, she doesn't share her mother's hair or eye color, but the evidence of blood ties would be obvious to anyone who knew Kit. He can see Kit in her face, and in the way she moves her hands, and the crinkle of her eyebrows when she's pondering a question.

Lemony tells his niece about the Snickets that came before her.

Fandom: A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket, A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV) Pairing(s): Beatrice Baudelaire II & Lemony Snicket Words: 2112 Chapters: 1/1

( for @acacia-may from @asouefanworkevent !! loved all the prompts, hope you like this!! )

[pipbellerophon]

because everything is connected, one of mr poe's sons must be among these shepherds. this is how r duchess of winniepeg's ring gets back into play

[dragoneyes618]

Imagine Lemony and little Beatrice playing Beethoven.

[snicketstrange]

Chabo Chapter 1

"I am Sunny Baudelaire, your younger sister. I am immersed in a desperate mission to save a doomed humanity, sending my consciousness through the void of time to prevent a fungal catastrophe that will engulf the world in darkness. I apologize for usurping the sanctuary of your mind, Violet. If fate is kind, you will not remember this invasion or the storms it foretells. But if fate betrays us, this burden will be ours."

A shiver ran down Violet's spine, like a cold breeze on an already gray day, as she prepared to throw a useless stone into the endless ocean.

"Violet?" Klaus asked, his voice merely a whisper in the mist. Violet's eyes met Sunny's. That small form, so innocent, now revealed as a time-traveling entity, a soul invader. What could be the limits of her abilities? The scenery around them seemed to suck away all life and color. Briny Beach had never looked so desolate, a reflection of their own fates. At their parents' insistence, they had come to the beach, oblivious to the omen of that gray morning.

Suddenly, Violet was consumed by an overwhelming wave of sadness, as if the world had given up on itself. Tears began to flow, no longer contained. Sunny approached, crawling like a spirit. She was near Violet but at the same time seemed to be just an immaterial vision.

"Violet, be strong. This is a burden that I've carried for many years and survived. You will also survive this. You will endure."

Her voice didn't come from her lips but directly from the darkness.

"Dad and mom die today," Sunny articulated, each syllable a nail in the coffin of their young souls.

"Get out of my head, Sunny!" Violet screamed, but the sound was swallowed by the void.

"Follow the script, Violet. Amnesia is the only hope for mercy. You need to let go. You need to forget that I've been in you. Information about the future won't help you. Focus only on today. When you think about today, you will forget about tomorrow. So you already know what I'm going to say, don't you?"

Sunny cast a glance over her shoulder and muttered a disconcerting "Gack!"

Klaus turned, noticing an ominous figure in the distance. It was Mr. Poe, but how could Violet know? Her mind was in ruins, her memories a labyrinth. She wanted to ask if he was okay, but deep in her soul, she already knew the answer.

The end was near.

And, for some obscure reason, she understood that he would be the bearer of unbearable bad news.

[stay-close]

But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.

Lemony Snicket; The Beatrice Letters

[bnmxfld]

But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.

Lemony Snicket / The Beatrice Letters

[protectionsquad24601]

Lemony Snicket was canonically a cheerleader and I haven't seen a single person talk about it. The possibilities are delightful- Lemony saying cheesy rhymes in a deadpan voice?? Lemony in a cheerleader outfit in general?? Lemony getting tossed around by others more qualified to be a cheerleader?? Lemony who joined cheerleading simply because Beatrice was in soccer?

[thoughtkick]

But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.

Lemony Snicket; The Beatrice Letters

[jumbleddufus]

I swear it's always "I love you so much!" but never

"I will love you with no regard to the actions of our enemies or the jealousies of actors. I will love you with no regard to the outrage of certain parents or the boredom of certain friends. I will love you no matter what is served in the world's cafeterias or what game is played at each and every recess. I will love you no matter how many fire drills we are all forced to endure, and no matter what is drawn upon the blackboard in a blurring, boring chalk. I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to divide fractions, and no matter how difficult is it to memorize the periodic table. I will love you no matter what your locker combination was, or how you decide to spend your time during study hall. I will love you no matter how your soccer team performed in the tournament or how many stains I received on my cheerleading uniform.

I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you next Tuesday. I will love you if you cut your hair and I will love you if you cut the hair of others. I will love you if abandon your baticeering and I will love you if you retire from the theatre to take up some other, less dangerous occupation. I will love you if you drop your raincoat on the floor instead of hanging it up and I will love you if you betray your father. I will love you even if you announce that the poetry of Edgar Guest is the best in the world and even if you announce that the work of Zilpha Keatley Snyder is unbearably tedious. I will love you if you abandon the theremin and take up the harmonica and I will love you if you donate your marmosets to the zoo and your tree frogs to M. I will love you as the starfish loves a coral reef and as kudzu loves trees, even if the oceans turn to sawdust and the trees fall in the forest without anyone around to hear them. I will love you as the pesto loves the fettuccini and and as the horseradish loves the miyagi, as the tempura loves the the ikura and the pepperoni loves the pizza. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you as the doctor loves his sickest patient and a lake loves its thirstiest swimmer.

I will love you as the beard loves the chin, and the crumbs love the beard, and the damp napkin loves the crumbs, and the precious document loves the dampness of the napkin, and the squinting eye of the reader loves the smudged print of the document, and the tears of sadness love the squinting eye as it misreads what is written.

I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat, and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm wale loves the flavor of naval uniforms.

I will love you as a child loves to overhear the conversations of their parents, and the parents love the sound of their own arguing voices, and as the pen loves to write down the words these voices utter in a notebook for safe keeping.

I will love you as a shingle loves falling off a house on a windy day and striking a grumpy person across the chin, and as an oven loves malfunctioning in the middle of roasting a turkey. I will love you as an airplane loves to fall from a clear blue sky and as an escalator loves to entangle expensive scarves in its mechanism. I will love you as a wet paper towel loves to be crumpled into a ball and thrown at a bathroom ceiling and an eraser loves to leave dust in the hairdos of the people who talk too much. I will love you as a cufflink loves to drop from its shirt and explore the party for itself and as a pair of white gloves loves to slip delicately into the punchbowl. I will love you as a taxi loves the muddy splash of a puddle and as a library loves the patient tick of a clock. I will love you as a thief loves a gallery, and as a crow loves murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. I will love you as a battlefield loves young men and as peppermints love your allergies, and I will love you as the banana peel loves the shoe of a man who was just struck by a falling shingle off a house.

I will love you as a volunteer fire department loves rushing into burning buildings and as burning buildings love to chase them back out, and as a parachute loves to leave a blimp, and as a blimp loves to chase after it.

I will love you as a dagger loves a certain person's back, and as a certain person loves to wear dagger proof tunics, and as a dagger proof tunic loves to go to a certain dry cleaning facility, and how a certain employee of a dry cleaning facility loves to stay up late with a pair binoculars, watching a dagger factory for hours in the hopes of catching a burglar, and as a burglar loves sneaking up behind people with binoculars, suddenly realizing that she has left her dagger at home.

I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as a noise of a glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping out into the world.

I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. I will love you until every fire is extinguished and until every home is rebuilt from the handsomest and most susceptible of woods, and until every criminal is handcuffed by the laziest policeman. I will love you until M. hates snakes and J. hates grammar, and I will love you until C. realizes that S. is not worthy of his love and N. realizes he is not worthy of V. I will love you until the bird hates the nest and the worm hates the apple, and until the apple hates the tree and the tree hates the nest, although honestly, I cannot imagine that last occurrence no matter how hard I try.

I will love you as we grow older, which has just happened, and has happened again, and happened several days ago, continuously, and then several years before that, and will continue to happen as the spinning hands of every clock and the flipping pages of every calendar mark the passage of time, except for the clocks that people have forgotten to wind and the calendars that people have forgotten to place in a highly visible area. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and that long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. I will love you as the chances of us running into each other slip from slim to zero, and until your face is fogged by a distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don't see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and no matter how I am discovered after what happens to me, happens to you as I am discovering this. I will love you if you don't marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else—your co-star perhaps, or Y., or even Q. or anyone Z. through A., even R. although sadly I think it will be quite some time before two woman can be allowed to marry—and I will love you if you have a child, and I will love you if you have two children, or three children, or even more, although I personally think three is plenty, and I will love you if you never marry at all and never have children, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all, and I must say that on late, cold nights I prefer this scenario out of all the scenarios I have mentioned.

That Beatrice, is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way. Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope."

[quotespile]

I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled.

Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters

[aseriesofunfortunatetexts]

asoue + tumblr

[dragoneyes618]

Beatrice Jr. is the only recorded Snicket, in the entire family tree, to have no siblings.