#esp show choir

[lilac-melody]

Thinking about my choir days and how, when I was in 6th grade choir, one amazing thing that always stuck with me is how important placements are.

My middle school choir teacher had demonstrated, putting herself in the middle and two of my classmates on either side of her. They sang a few notes, and then had the two girls switch spots.

The difference was honestly night and day.

I just think it’s neat how sound travels differently depending on placements...it really is no wonder why choir teachers are always shuffling everyone around lmao

[hollowisthyname]

penny's love language !! is touch !!!!!! i will never ever let up about this bc it's true and i want to give her a hug so bad !!!!!!!!!!!

"do you want to brush my dolly's hair ?"

she's borrowing her dolly's head !! she wants constance to brush her hair !!!!! guys please she just wants affection

*follows* SHE WANTS AFFECTION SHE DOESN'T UNDERSTAND WHY THE OTHERS ARE SO CREEPED OUT BY HER WAAAHHH

she's even sitting close to constance throughout the next scene (and stands next to her during a lot of the show as well) !!

CMON . SHE WANTS A HUG . GIVE HER A HUG SHE DESERVES IT !!!!! OCEAN U CAN'T SAY YOU LOVE SOMEONE AND THEN JUST RUN AWAY LIKE THAT GIVE HER HER HUG

*follows pt. 2* CONSTANCE PLEASE SHE WANTS A HUG SO BAD

grabs constance's shoulder during her "fornication under consent of the king" line and doesn't let go until she physically can't hold on anymore without falling ? autistic + touch starved i mean really !!!

and here !! she finally gets a show of affection from the rest of the cast , the whole birthday party of course and then constance softly touching her arm to signal that she can stop swaying to the song now ..... IT'S SO SWEET I LOVE THAT SCENE SO MUCH IT'S WHEN THEY FIRST START TO COME AROUND TO HER AND LISTEN TO HER I LOVE THEM ALL SO MUCH <33

anway penny deserves all the hugs in the world thank you for your time !!

[seumyo]

OMGGG CONGRATS ON 1K EUMY MY LOVE!!! im beyond words that describe happy for u ur such a sweetheart u deserve it sm<3 I SAW THE SCRAPBOOKS POST AND ID LOVE A SHOTO TODOROKI ONE!!!! 💗

im an enfp so im a loud extrovert, and i try to make sure ppl dont feel awkward or embarrassed around me bc im 10x worse HAHA 😭 i have insane attachment issues like i was crying so hard when my friend ignored me for a day. big lover with big emotions, hopefully that counts as an emotional intelligent person hehe<3

i am also a complete art kid and i never stop drawing, im also in choir and stage band so im basically all of the above (except sports. does watching haikyuu count?🤔) HAHAHAHA

id love a little description about our dynamic or something!!🥹 and be free w ur colour palette and do what u think deems best 🗣️!!! a song would be velvet ring by big thief, one of my favs rn<3

THANK USM EUMY UR THE SWEETEST AND ONCE AGAIN CONGRATUALTIONS ON THAT DESERVED 1K!!!

ᯓ★ SHOTO + SAKU!

★ Todoroki Shouto hated did not like you at first. The first time you two met in U.A., not once did he glance in your direction. Don’t take it too personally, he’s battling inner turmoil stemming from his complicated family life and upbringing.

★ Skipping to when he does warm up to the rest of the class, he still keeps his distance from them as he tries to test the waters. Now, you, dear Saku, are the first to invite him to have lunch together via the crumpled paper you left on his desk during free period (he almost threw it in the trash, but he telephatically felt your distress thought it might contain something important, so he decided to read it). He accepts, of course.

★ Lunch together was awkward, but Todoroki appreciates your effort to fill in his shortcomings in the conversation. So to say, he just listens to you while you ramble about anything and everything.

★ When he gets home that night, he definitely tells Fuyumi that someone invited him to eat together at lunch, and that it was nice. He doesn’t realize that he kept your note neatly folded in his wallet.

★ Do you know the concept of personal space? Todoroki does not. Whenever you’re doing something, whether it’s doodling or writing notes, he will peer over and check whatever it is that you’re doing. Completely unaware that he, too, has attachment issues (trust).

★ “Am I too close? I’m sorry, I didn’t notice.” And you guys were inches from kissing each other!

★ Romantically, it takes him a long time to understand that what he was feeling is clearly not platonic anymore. But when he does realize thus, he skips the steps in his head and wants to spend the rest of his days with you (you’re not even dating yet, and he’s already thinking of the future ten years later). Todoroki’s hesitant to engage in a romantic relationship because he thinks that you deserve someone who wouldn’t hesitate to court you and love you openly (he’s worried that he’ll end up like his father).

★ The initial dynamic is someone who talks a lot and the other listens (with the most lovestruck eyes yet still unnoticeable). When you do get into a relationship, he’ll still treat you just like when you were friends, but with a bit more effort to show you how much he cares. Acts of service & Quality Time are his love languages. This man is your ride-or-die forever and would go through lengths just to spend time with you (cue to Todoroki just appearing by your side whenever you’re not busy).

★ Whenever Todoroki talks to other people, it’ll always be, “Oh, where are Saku and the others?” You will always be the first person that comes out of his mouth, an unconscious habit of his.

★ Matching bag charms, candid photos (of him, mostly), handwritten notes that are passed to each other during class, enjoying each other’s company even if you two are just walking to the cafeteria together or him waiting for you to tie your shoelaces (he does them himself further into the relationship), finding out that Todoroki kept most of the things you gave him (especially your little notes and doodles), and the tips of his ears turn a bit reddish whenever he’s flustered—and you’re the only one to notice because it only happens when he’s with you.

[thegaycat]

young royals season 3 wishlist <3

bc i am too excited for s3 and need to collect my thoughts 🥞 ok some of the thoughts are not mine but i agreed and put them on my list anyway :)

and also i 100% wander off topic but its okay ive decided. okay lets go

wille peeling an orange for simon while studying (@littlebabywille said it first)

wille listening to simon singing and playing to the piano (like marcus did in s2ep1 except with consent bc sneaking up on people in their own room is not cool esp if you dont even know them <3<3) (@irenes-diary said that first)

simon singing and wille playing the piano 👀 (@rndm-fandoms)

a third ELIAS song, maybe about true love or something

on the topic of true love, wilmon endgame please??? that will happen right?? she wont keep them apart? if wilmon is not endgame it better still be a happy ending

seeing studenten, august and nils and vincent and the third years graduating epic hillerska style

the queen getting a better understanding of simon and wilhelms relationship

scenes with her and simon, maybe awkward but with possibility of a better relationship in the future??

kristina trying to be a better mom

simon allowing himself to be vunerable and sadfeely, and letting wille comfort him

more rosh and ayub bc i love them <3<3

some erik processing maybe .....

a glimpse of how felice and her mother's relationship is going, how is she taking it that felice is rebelling against her

i wanna know what happened to russeau!! like does august sell it back somehow? does he keep it at Årnäs or maybe at the Hillerska stables? does Sara accept it? bc it is still her horse like emotionally? she must realise that even tho its a (kinda desperate) gift from august the horse will have the best life with her at Hillerska

okay another yr3 wish is for fredrika to realise that stella is in love with her and maybe also realise that it is mutual??? lesbians yes please :)

also more henry development and also him being funny. maybe some more walty crumbs too

summer fits :)

vincent being an asshole because it is so fucking funny like the way he says things <3 he's a bully but its funny it. hes so tired of the rowing team being incompetent. <3

Also someone mentioned his necklace and i dont realistically think we will get a background for that but the little sister hc is very cute and i like it

more of these new queer side characters being queer bc casual representation is always good and nice and makes little bi me very happy

also on the topic of bi, wilhelm remaining unlabelled because i think he is, and also it is so important to show that it is okay to be unlabelled <3 :)

also the choir singing in church again

and wille listening happily and also staring at simon as usual

ooh maybe the spotify extra verse of simons song is written in season 3 👀

i am worried about the police and drugs and sara and the video buttttt maybe all this could bring back micke and also we can see more of the erikson family

how the hell are simon and sara going to live in the same house

linda being a good mom and wille and simon hanging out with her maybe like in s1e6 playing games or just eating dinner or something

just .. wille in simons home

and simon in willes home <3<3

rowing on the actual lake and someone falling into the water bc that would be very funny and i need that actually

some sort of end to august like maybe therapy or jail

most of all i just want simon and wilhelm to actually be a couple and go trough all the shit coming their way together

[lovesung127]

Golden Age album review

Baggy Jeans-okay first of all the mv is absolutely wild. im like gagged. my jaw was dropped the whole time. probably screamed more times than i'd like to admit. THEY ALL LOOK SO HOT OMGOMGGMOGOGMSAJSDHAIDAJVI. the little insta photo with ten in 7thsense AHHHH. couldn't stop giggling at the bridge part with doyoung. the song itself is so catchy. LOVE LOVE LOVE jaehyun and doyoung's vocals in this song they ate it up. also when mark goes "yea boy" it ignites something in me. the bridge is so good and mark taeyong and ten ateeee. ALSO THE CHOREO IS SOO GOOD I LOVE ITT ESP THE END CHORUS

Call D- okay the intro is cute i love the like game boi sound. ALSO TAEYONGS VOCALS WHAT AHOVDKDKO okayy the chorus is so cute and upbeat i love. reminds me of some krnb song but i can't remember which one. kinda love the outro

PADO- okayy introoo. love taeyong's opening verse and johnny's too! eat it up hendery! XIAOJUNS VOCALS?!?! love haechans part! jaehyun's voice fits this so well. and i love mark's raps! OMFGG THE CHORUS AHASHSJHDSIHVUKV I LOVE IT AHAHHHHSDHHDHFHDVHV bridge is eating. love the whistling too

Interlude: Oasis- omfg is the chenle in the intro bc omg his voice is so heavenly. I LOVE JAEHYUNS WHISPER RAP THING! AND OMFG YUTAA! AND WINWIN AND JAEMINS RAP OKAYY! THIS IS SUCH A NICE COMBO OF RAPPERS OMGOMGOMGM THE CHORUS IS SO CATCHYY AND CVNTY

The BAT- wait i love the intro sounds so dream like. omg jungwooo HSHDSKSDKFDJ omg whoever is syaing "my bat" or something like that in the whisper voice OMFG? JENO AND JISUNG FAST RAPPING GAGGED ME TO MY CORE. WHOEVER THAT WAS ATE. OMFGG THE BRIDGEE AHJOFSJOF THE HIGH NOTES. this is so good. and yuta's vocals ate as he always those. im like dancing in my seat omfg. that was so good

Alley Oop- YUH OKAY! omg yangyang ateeeeee! and jaemin. YEEEE JISUNG OKAYYYYY! YAS JENO! WAIT WHOS DEEP VOICE SINGING IS THAT BC OMGGGG! i love this song its so like football stadium coded. yuta is slaying the vocals. okay slay winwin and hendery! IS THAT JISUNG SINGING?? major ass shaker. THE BRIDGE IS SO HEAVENLY OMG I LOVE IS THAT JISUNG SINGING AHAHAHAHHAHAHH I LOVE IT. i love the whole songs build up. okay adlibbbsss

That's Not Fair- YUHHH TAEYONGGGG! okay jeno and johnny. STOP I LOVE THE SINGING PART OKAY LIKE MARK LEADING AHSDFJFJKJ. like very musical marching! loved tens vocals. YESSSS YANGYANG IS SINGING! i love marks second rap. OMG THE WHISPER RAPPING PART. the melody sounds so familiar but i can't figure it out. i love the low voices

Kangaroo- the intro is cute like show choir vibes IS THAT TAEIL OPENING BC SLAY! STOP I LOVE WHEN YANGYANG AND JISUNG SING. this is such a cute and summer song! love chenles vocals and kun and renjun serveeed! this song is very beach vibes like im imagining sitting on a beach chair and waves are going in and out

Not Your Fault- oooo love the piano intro. YASSS RENJUN. Taeil's voice sound so nice omgggg. doyoung's voice fits this genre so well. ahhh the adlibs sound so good!!! jungwoo's voice sounds so sweet and heavenly and xiaojun's voice sounds so heavenly. the vocal unit atteeee

Golden Age- the switch up from doyoung's vocals to marks rap took me out. i was baffled. but yangyang's rap!!! WINWIN HAS LINES! I LOVE XIAOJUNS VOICE AHHHH!!! the bridge slayed. the mv was also so cool. this song is so coming of age movie ending coded. they all ate!

okay this whole album slayyed! like the members they did for each song all fit each other so well its wild. also their voices all sound so good together AHHH. my favorites are probs baggy jeans, pado, the bat, alley oop, and interlude:oasis is really good too! GO STREAM BAGGY JEANS AND THIS ALBUMMM!

[moonmoonthecrabking]

since my rtc superhero au post reached 100 notes this morning (and bc @luckynature wanted more and her aus inspire me!!), here's more detail of my rtc superhero au that i plan on writing One Day!! i'm going to be scheduling some posts over the course of me being asleep :)

as i mentioned in the tags of the first post, spacedolls is chaotic witnesses and a pre-established relationship, blackrose is friends to enemies to lovers, and nischa is enemies and lovers

here they're uni-college age, it starts in september-ish (yes around the time of the cyclone accident how could you tell), and all of them are 19 (second year if they're in uni)

so the age hcs in here are constance being the oldest and mischa being the youngest bc... Vibes

i have no idea where this is going to be set bc canon is canada, but most superhero stuff is in the us, but i live in australia and i can only talk to Experiences there (esp since most media is high school focussed not college/uni focussed)

noel and ocean went to the same school since they were 12 (i have no idea if it's middle or high school it depends on the country) and when they walked into university they immediately saw each other and went "oh. it's this bitch again."

noel has had his powers of spontaneous plant creation and plant control since he was five (think perfuma from she-ra, perhaps poison ivy but idk dc that well??). he grew a rose out of his hand for mothers' day and she went "OH OKAY. GREAT. THANKS SWEETIE. NEVER SHOW ANYONE EVER."

a couple of times he'd accidentally grow plants and panic before exploding them into spores. when he was 13 he accidentally grew cactus spikes all over his body. ocean saw him. she brought it up to him in private the next day and noel said "please don't tell anyone. i don't know the consequences and i don't want to." and she respected him, but partially out of fear, which he was thankful for.

ocean can stop time (and like she doesn't age in this time, she can drag other people out of how time has stopped and like have conversations with them while time has stopped, even if they don't have powers or know of ocean's etc.).

ocean realised she had powers in a maths exam in year 11/junior year, she accidentally stopped time and (when time continued) noel could Tell. she wanted to ask for a re-do so the exam was fair, but noel told her that he also has powers and you just... don't tell people about it, plus he really didn't want to do the exam

through the rest of high school they would check up on each other every so-often, but they weren't close.

then when they re-met in college/uni they go "okay clearly we need to stick with each other" so they join the choir (eyyyy) and agree to hang out for lunch twice a week (at first, but over the course of their first year they start hanging out more and more, taking a latin elective in their second semester bc i am a classical latin noel and ocean truther)

let's go to our "be gay do crime" friends

idk if constance or mischa are in college bc i want to clarify that's not the only life pathway, but it enables them to interact more so idkkkkkk

the two of them met when mischa came to [wherever this is set] from ukraine, he went to the cafe where constance worked and since she was so friendly, she invited him to stay until the end of her shift so she could so him around.

since she was the first person he met and the two get on like a house on fire, mischa sticks around at her cafe and they chat when traffic is slow + after her shift

but boyboss needs to get a job (perhaps this is the equivalent of the blackwood cafe, perhaps constance's been working there for 3 years) so constance hires him and mischa is like *weirdly* good at being a barista/waiter???

all this is backstory for when they're like 18, all this is happening right in the year before the fic is taking place, that's why it's relevant!!! i haven't decided yet on if she's just taking a gap year or what other intentions she may have but yeah!!

sO one night they're closing up and Vibing, and mischa cuts his hand on a piece of glass, constance asks if he's fine and he's like yeah but internally he's like no so constance says "i can tell you're injured, do you need a bandage or a free pastry?". mischa replies "hey bestie what the fuck are you some mind reader" then she's like "oh yeah!! sorry i really try not to, but when i get too tired i can't block other people's thoughts". "wait do you never use it on customers" "...it does depend on if they're a bitch"

once they finish up and go out, mischa goes "oh! i have powers too! check this out :)" then he lifts up the rubbish and fucking yeets it into a bin that they can barely see in the daytime. and he's really proud of it too!!! sweet man 10/10 golden retriver

[daltonblaine]

present day glee au:

blaine would be a dua lipa enthusiast and would find a way to pull off a "new rules" performance (and it's irrelevent to the plot)

#girlboss new directions girls number where they sing meghan trainor's "NO." it's the lamest thing ever but it's heralded as badass

artie sings "hotline bling"

semi-problematic taylor swift lover album spotlight "be who you are" pride episode (feat. "me!," "you need to calm down," and "i forgot that you existed")

blaine start to sing a troye sivan song and everyone tells him to stop

new directions show choir arrangement of "heat waves" by glass animals.

rachel sings "heather" by conan gray. finchel drama obviously

they'd do a waitress episode i think. and a heathers episode. and an olivia rodrigo episode

SOMEONE sings "here" by alessia cara. maybe early season tina

that one episode where rachel's in love with mr shue but they sing "senorita" by camilla cabello and shawn mendes

new directions boys number of either harry styles's "kiwi" (finn lead vocals) or "sushi for a music restaurant" (blaine lead vocals) for a glee club competition

some sort of speed dating montage with a performance of "guy.exe" by superfruit. my instinct says sam

mckinley puts on hamilton the musical and artie is cast as lafayette but mr. shue fights him for the part to impress ms. pillsbury. horrible rapping moments all around

one really out-of-place mitski cover, done by rachel. it's jarring and a little upsetting and it's never acknowledged again

blaine covers any ricky montgomery song (esp "line without a hook") and EATS.

[deathfavor]

CHROLLO’S  MUSIC & CHARACTER STUDY

Chrollo’s various themes between the 2 versions of HxH are drastically different. But they are BOTH very fitting for Chrollo. They simply focus on two different aspects. The 2011 version focuses more on Chrollo’s capabilities and the spider as a whole , as well as his drive. The 1999 version focuses more on Chrollo’s typical state of mind and visible appearance to most. The calm , mysteriousness that is the head of the spider. And for his official character song , it’s almost solely focused on his lack of self

1999 OSTyes its a slower version bc i can’t find it by itself, move it to 1.5 for the original

Atmospherically it feels a lot like being in an abandoned cathedral. This song focuses a lot more on the mysterious side of Chrollo , his almost ever present internal and external calm. But the sound of the wind-like notes in the background also is nod towards Chrollo’s lack of individual identity and his intrigue in human nature to an extent. Even the slightly melancholic tone at times can be attributed to that. And of course we have those deeper , darker notes around 1:05 that are a nod to the heavy religious aspects around Chrollo’s character. It directly replicates some hymns or somber pieces of music of churches , especially Roman Catholic churches. But as a whole , this piece keeps the mysteriousness and his calm and calculating side with a nice dose of his religious symbolism thrown in with a shot of lacking individual identity ( which will be brought up more seriously later in this post ). It tries to focus on him and who he is ( a wanderer ) when even Chrollo doesn’t focus on himself.

2011  INITIAL APPEARANCE

This one could arguably be more Chrollo’s theme compared to the ‘ official ‘ given it plays almost exclusively for Chrollo ( whereas the other is shown with other troupe members too ) . This one is rather similar to the 1999 compared to the 2011 , but it has traces of both. The slower speed is his calculating , calm side once again showing. The humming another nod to religious imagery. But this song also has the more dangerous and ominous undertones that the 1999 doesn’t. This is a nice blend between the two. It allows a glimpse of Chrollo’s mind , of the man who walks with death without fear. But it also hints at his darkness , of his roots from Meteor City. It’s also a fun play simply on how most people probably view Chrollo. Other than those who can sense his presence / Nen , most people just think he’s a young man who wanders ( even the Mafia comment on how young he seems ) and yet beneath that exterior appearance is a very dangerous person that the secondary notes ( esp around 0:35 ) hint at. It leads well into the next part of what he and his actions CAN be.

2011 OST

As I mentioned above , this theme looks more towards Chrollo as the head of the spider and the destructive capabilities he possesses and actions of the spider. It’s louder , more chaotic , and yet it still has its own rhythm to is in the chaos of it all. Like Chrollo is orchestrating it much in the way he orchestrates the chaos and mayhem that the Phantom Troupe can and do unleash like the requiem for Uvogin. It’s more ominous and aggressively dangerous , showing the truth of how dangerous Chrollo is despite his youth. Like the other songs with Chrollo , there is the choir in the background to serve as a nod towards his religious symbolism. Interestingly though this takes a more blatantly demonstrative showcase in which Chrollo does have a lot of corrupted religious imagery / symbolism. It can also show the chaos of Chrollo himself. Externally he often looks and is calm , even amidst atrocious acts , of his need to steal and wreck havoc and regard ONLY for the troupe and no others. It’s also a lot more of an ‘ epic ‘ piece ( not as in cool , as in literary epic ) to show the grandiose of what the spider is capable of , of what Chrollo can orchestrate. The music isn’t letting you look into Chrollo as a character like the 1999 , in this one the music IS a weapon. In the 1999 , it is soft and quiet much like Chrollo is. But the 2011 music speaks of his actions which are loud and brutal.

ONE THIRTEENTH - official character song

This one doesn’t even hide anything. All the other character songs are typically very personal. Even Machi talks more about herself in her song. But the fact Chrollo’s DOESN’T shows his lack of singular identity. He briefly mentions “ Searching for yourself ? Well let’s see how it is “ He focuses his song on the spider “ The Unstoppable Spider will live on “ ( a nod to the fact that even if he dies the spider will live ) , on the rules of the spider ( If your interests differ , just consult the coin ) , and only uses ‘ WE ‘ throughout the song other than the line ‘ I can take advantage of it , right ? ‘ which specifically references HIS choice at the HEAD OF THE SPIDER on what they will do when they have the prophecies handed out. It’s not him as chrollo , it’s him as the head of the spider. He otherwise doesn’t use singular pronouns. But his song also only references actions in the show / manga. It doesn’t mention his feelings or personal thoughts ( unlike Machi’s who does ). It’s Chrollo's mindset that his spider IS him. All his troupe members are part of him , he depends on them for identity. It , for a very brief moment , does start to dip into a bit more like the 1999 symbolism near 3:19 in how it starts to slow down and grow a bit quieter , before speading back up when he says “ The Spider’s soul must live on ‘. Not him , but the spider & what it stands for. The song has the speed and heavier nature of 2011 because it’s directly emphasizing that. That Chrollo ISN’T an individual in his eyes , he is the spider. But lyrically is pulls on the 1999 lack of identity aspect because he never speaks of himself ; only the group as a whole.

BONUS

1999 LAST TROUPE OST

This particular piece I just wanted to share. It’s a subtle , sad nod towards most of them coming from Meteor City , where the world does not care about them but they all have each other. Those lighter notes around 1:12 being what showcases the troupe’s bond in finding each other , in Chrollo’s happiness because he does care for his troupe members so much. They’re a part of him. In some ways its a blend of Chrollo’s themes and the spider’s history.

I love all the Troupe OSTs and they’re very fitting in the chaos & danger they bring , but this one is especially noteworthy because it isn’t the sinister , chaotic , dangerous sound the other osts in both 1999 & 2011 are for them. This is them with each other , with the bonds they all share versus how the rest of the world looks at them.

[fae-queen54]

RANT BELOW i’ll prob delete later bc i’ll prob regret it and just wanted to get out some frustrations

anyone else’s autism make it hard on them to understand social cues only with people who act the same as you? bc like i spent most of my junior year english class talking to this guy whose super sarcastic and funny and grouchy but in a good way. and like we’d annoy each other and make ab how we aren’t friends and wish the other would skip a day or two so there would be peace and quiet. but we’d spend so much time in class talking to each other instead of doing work or ignoring each other.

the jokes however did my autism no favors bc like i want to be his friend but it feels super lame to refer to him as my friend if he doesn’t feel the same way. but i was super confused bc he’d act the same around his friends and i began thinking maybe i was taking everything to literal.

then on the literal last day of school (last day i went bc i finished my finals early) i made the comment “you’ll be happy to hear you have to see me the rest of the year. i take my last test next period” bc one walk to our separate math classes together. and we teased each other back and forth ab it bc he still had to go the rest of the week while i finished early. he made a joke saying he’d make sure i’d go the rest of the week by dragging me there himself. i told him that would be pretty hard since he didn’t know where i lived other than a general direction and he said he’d find a way. i just laughed and said “stalkerish much?” where his response is what is leaving me super confused. he said “yea i definitely don’t care that much. i only talk to you every morning in english” and i can’t fucking tell if he was also joking or being sarcastic or he was trying to say he thought we were friends. bc like he’s got other friends, esp in our english class.

now i’ve been out of school for like a week and this is literally all i can think ab in my free time. like i asked my family members ab it since it’s caused me so much confusion (for the longest time i refused to mention him outside of small pieces like “[he] wouldn’t shut up and kept poking my arm” or “[he] was snoring so loud today in class” bc last time i talked ab a boy they were convinced i had a crush). i asked my little sister(whose in no way neurotypical but is way better at understanding social cues compared to me) and she kinda made me think he was saying he thought we were friends. but then i realized my biggest mistake was talking to my meddling sister for advice. she offered to ask him when she saw him for practice later this summer and i forgot she would be a freshman next year and would be in show choir with him.

but thanks to all this and my not very good understanding of how to handle and cope with emotions i’m super confused. bc like i somehow made it through the whole school year basically trying to become his friend ig without getting his number or snap or anything and i rlly hope he doesn’t have tumblr or at least find this bc this would be all too much like the real events to be considered a coincidence in his eyes.

kinda just looking for advice bc i’ll prob see him over the summer thanks to my sister’s show choir shit and the only people i know irl that i’d go to for this didn’t help much.

[ramblingaboutglee]

Do you have an opinion about Blaine’s character and how they changed him each season?

If this blog has proved anything, it’s that I can ramble, so here we go. 

Watching Glee independently of fandom was... weird. There are a lot of times I delved into fandom after and saw some plot point that I’d loved and found a perfect culmination, actually considered out-of-character or some such. From what I can tell, S2 was such a huge point in-fandom and with fanfic that the fan interpretations of a lot of characters ended up superceding the characters as they were on the show (take Will Schuester getting retconned to Journey superfan in one episode, when in S1 Journey was sung because of its association to Finn when Will wasn’t leading the group, so the show was clearly aware of what I assume are fandom jokes esp in regard to Will not listening to the kids and willing to play it up, and it did seem to happen at a few points). 

All that to say, with Klaine being as big as it was, I feel like Blaine got hit with that harder than most? How much was writers responding to some fandom-takes, how much was the televised version of the character departing from the fanon iteration, and how much was retconning is hard to say.

So, to go season by season. 

Whoops sorry, yeah this is going on for a while. 

Originally... Blaine didn’t really have much of a character? Season 2 was very bare-bones on the character front, they’d shifted the show’s focus to what was almost a sketch comedy at times so everyone was just one or two traits ramped up to insanity with little cohesion, Blaine existed solely in relation to Kurt, and he was ‘advice-giving gay kid, who’s less experienced than he lets on.’ (Like, he’s less sure of even his sexuality than Kurt). That was it. But I imagine this was also the time fanfic solidified him in a lot of people’s minds, when a lot of it wasn’t reflective of who Blaine was on the show? Especially with his minimal arc being presenting himself as more wise and knowing than Kurt, when at the end of the day this turned out to basically be an act/how he presents himself, and him being just as capable of misreading situations (Gap attack) as anyone. But if you read fic when you’d only seen him in his element with all the Warblers at his back and none of the layers being peeled back, I can see that messing with perception of him.

Season 3 defined him more clearly as a hopless romantic and a dreamer, both making more sense of his character, and fitting in with the themes of the show. The optimist who sometimes does questionable things in the name of that optimism, but trusts that things will work out well. Cliche views of sex, overcoming odds, romance... Which justifies his previous characterisation, though cracks start to show as he adjusts from being a big deal in the Warblers, to The New Kid. This carries on to season 4, where he faces he consequences of those aspirations, and acknowledges that switching schools for a guy is, well, a romantic idea in a storybook but kinda ends poorly in reality, following on from his alienation as well when the New Directions aren’t as in-sync with him as the Warblers were. Cue Blaine going from basically the head of a gay cult show choir in a private school with strict no bullying policies, in regular contact with his boyfriend, to alone in a homophobic less well-to-do school. He made the decision out of cheerful, unrealistic idealism, and it ended up the way it inevitably would. 

Which is when the meta element comes in again. Blaine is definitely acting different in season 4, but he’s also existing in a different context. For me, at least, it felt like natural development? He’s the hopeless romantic who feels like he can’t relate to his boyfriend, because Kurt’s graduated high school and moved to NY, Kurt has a completely different life and set of life experiences to Blaine. Heck, the fact Kurt ends up in an open relationship in S4, while the end of his dynamic with Blaine was down to him sleeping with someone else says a lot. Post high school, Kurt’s development is necessarily supercharged because that’s just how life goes once you’re out away from home for the first time, S4 was admittedly too overstretched to fully justify it all, but the fact that the NY cast had to adjust to a massively different context was one of the conflicts of the season. Blaine, meanwhile, is still in McKinley. Still in Lima. Unsurprisingly, he lags behind, and feels that pressure. 

Season 5 I guess is where we get weird? 5B, at least the New York stretch, follows on from the above well - post-graduation, Blaine is still the romantic, still tries for things with Kurt, and they definitely chafe a little to begin with when they try to completely jump into living together fresh after barely having gotten back together, and it clicks as a good follow-up to where they were. They have to get to know who one another are now, after massive transitional points in their lives. 

5A is, okay, tricky. The proposal fits who Blaine was - the same guy that swapped schools for Kurt, the impulsive romantic - but after, Blaine gets a gimmick every week, but then every episode of 5A was a different gimmick every week (then again, the same can be said for S2 where Blaine originated so hey) so it’s hard to say much about character. You have him befriending Tina and Sam, with all the crushes there, some stuff I am not touching, but it sticks out as well that Blaine does tend to stick with what’s familiar to him. But yeah, this is the bit where it feels like Glee dropping consistency for set pieces and jokes. 

S6 then sweeps in to conclude the arc. Obviously a big recurring element of Glee was characters finding themselves, deciding who they are and what they want to be, and Blaine gets matched with Rachel in this regard - he ostensibly gets a big success, but it doesn’t last, and he’s back doing nothing with no lodestone. So he does the same thing she does, and returns to his high school for the familiar atmosphere - and picks the school where he felt the most comfortable. One arc later, and his big song with Kurt for the finale includes the line “The daydream believer and the homecoming queen,” and I’m just assuming there are, like, a hundred klaine fics with that exact title.

Okay so, after all that. I don’t feel like Blaine necessarily changes at his core? At least for me, the arc’s easy to trace out - he’s a dreamer, a romantic, an optimist, who figures problems are easy to solve and that things will work out the way they do in daydreams. Reality challenges that at a few points, it hits him hard, and he loses both his Warbler-fame and Kurt and does start to spiral as Glee characters are wont to do. He definitely develops, but the core seems pretty consistent. 

Glee is really consistent with making characters question what it is they want, and whether it’ll make them happy. Like, basically every character has to go through that arc and come to their own answers. Rachel has her Broadway dreams and ends up struggling with the reality, Quinn has basically everything in regards to what she perceives as the ‘proper’ way to live her life, Kurt has his Broadway dreams especially with the limited roles for his range of voice... For Blaine, his dreams hit a similar beat, coming with the storybook idea as to how his relationship will go, solving someone’s problems with a few words (with Karofsky - a failure), being the wise mentor, grand romantic gestures that end up being bad ideas... 

Though I guess the oddities stick out more, with S2 and 5A as seasons with different focuses meaning you’re getting the same character in functionally a different genre which is always messy, and the vibe I get that fandom had a solid conception of who Blaine ought to be, before the end of S2? 

This was probably too long a reply, but hey. 

Overall, my opinion of Blaine is... relatively neutral? Which is no reflection on him - as much as I can make jokes about a lot of dynamics, I’m most attached to the characters after graduation just because, well, I watched the show as an adult. Unavoidably, they’re the ones I find more relatable. So barring characters with really solid inherent hooks (so, Quinn) I can enjoy the high school drama, but none of the characters immediately stand out to me - so Blaine works at a disadvantage with less than a full season’s length graduated. (Equally, to be honest, the seasons where Blaine felt like more of a presence, 2 and 5, were also my least favourite seasons, which definitely isn’t down to him but it does hurt his character, for me). I like his arc, Klaine is obviously fun, I like their dynamic as exes awkwardly navigating one another too sorry. He isn’t someone I hugely thought about because out-of-fandom he was a fairly secondary-to-tertiary character a lot of the time, but I like his development and he has some good arcs. I like how he goes full circle, from playing the part of a mentor in S2, to actually gaining the experience and confidence to fill that role by the end. 

Thanks for the ask! And, er, sorry

[evelyne-am]

13th March 2023.

Hi folks. I’m going to have to make this really short. It’s been a long time that I have felt that something new is coming upon me. I love music to death and it is most certainly my life’s Destiny but ever since I left Boston I was searching for something to dream about. My work as a musician is beautiful and fulfilling and incredible but it was my reality, it was no longer something I imagined in a mirror as a dream. And over the years when I couldn’t find solace in music sometimes because it was my everyday job, I found it in stories. Especially in the pandemic I would stay up till 6 am every night watching shows and films reading about actors and analysing what I was feeling when I watched things happen. A part of me thinks that I finally found something that I loved as much as music, or probably in a very different way. Another part of me was frustrated with the way society had instantly cancelled my career and my industry the second the pandemic hit as if we were dispensable, we were not essential goods so our services could be instantly paused and we could go to hell, I thought about quitting music completely and all forms of arts and doing something else. But one day without any expectations of actually doing anything I Tried to get into some classes in acting, most of them were full, the one I wanted to at SPARDHA esp, so I Enrolled in my second choice, partially because the music industry was shut in a pandemic and partially because I was curious. In all honesty I didn’t enjoy it. theatre is deep and intellectual, and unlike the music that I listen to, the films and TV that I watch are less on that side, and more about common life, common folk. At one point I quit the program and the play we were doing because I was called into Coke Studio and tho i regretted not finishing the program I was okay with leaving the course and returning to the music industry which had just opened up again. In the process of the last one and a half years I have full fledged come back to work and been doing music with my band, my choir, and even remotely. But I had a little inkling, that I tried something and I never went through. I kept my interest in going to a few plays though, but only that of SparDHA, whom I felt were the brilliant ones in this country.

While working on BONOBIBI in Coke Studio, members of SPARDHA were involved and my Choir and I were in awe (they did the bonobibi part choreo) and I thought wow how amazing thoughtful artistic and professional are these people?

In Jan I was called into a meeting to ask if I were interested in doing an acting project/musical (more on that later) and it sparked my old head again. Then later In February I was supposed to go to Los Angeles to attend the Grammy awards, and for multiple reasons including my getting Covid I did not go last minute. I wont deny that incident wasn’t hard, but there was something inside me that knew there was something more to me not going to Los Angeles.. That is when I found SPARDHA starting their classes again, and without hesitation I don’t know why I just jumped in. Just fresh out of Covid I was doing one or two shows again and it was the day of Coke Studio launch, I am dressed up from head to toe just performed in front of 10,000 people for the first time in many years, when I went to give my audition for the workshop.

The traffic on that day was horrendous and I took a bike and 2 rickshaw and walked from the craziest place of this university in the middle of the highway to the Audition..I was bursting in adrenaline, it was showing on my face. And when my audition was happening I was asked are you interested in theatre, I said no. I said I’m here to learn a skill, I’m here to grow myself as a performer but theatre is not what I want to do. I was told that even if I didn’t do theatre, the course that I was doing was gruelling and tough and was about theatre, there was no room for anyone who came with ego or other forms of preconceived notions even for actors who are doing this. I was asked if I could do the work. I said 100%, work is something that I can do. I was told that this workshop is essentially for people who will be in their next production so they will not be encouraging me to take this course and take it at a later time when it is directed towards acting only and not theatre. It was Valentine’s Day, those who saw me after knew that I was actually enjoying the fact that one hour ago I was jumping up and down with university students launching Coke Studio second season, and then I was being sad that something again in this new dream that I had tried to make for myself doesn’t work out. I was sad but specially because I was looking for something new to happen in my life after that all was over and I wanted to run away from the Grammy thing, t(hat’s something I may write about some other day (or in my memoirs maybe,) but I spent my evening actually going through the emotion of the extreme high and the extreme sort of Drop that I felt. I had said canceled going to Singapore, a place where I had lived as a child when my father works there and ever since a lot of things have happened I have been yearning to go there to feel close to my dad, but because of the course dates I had booked myself only to Thailand with friends later instead of doing this introspective Singapore trip, still I told myself it was okay.

The next day I started planning to book up my days again, there was a potential gig, some studio work that I had left to do but before I booked anything I called one of the members of the group that I knew from working in Coke Studio with us, and I said when are you going to give us the answers, and he said within a few hours, I said with him how sad I felt that The Audition indicated that once again I would not get a chance in the workshop (this is the same one that I had tried for in 2021 and did not get in.) he doesn’t so much just said to wait. Needless to say I got in.

On the first day it was truly gruelling physical work my post covid body could not take it. I came home and collapsed, the second day I pushed again and I got dizzy and almost fell in class. That’s when I had to reveal to one of the facilitators that I am fairly out of Covid, and that I would take steroids

(How I had gotten through my Brac students gig during my Covid.) to come back to class the next day. She told me, try boiled eggs and Saline, and my doctor actually said the same thing and my friend Doctor suggested juice. On day three I went fully prepared boiled eggs juice a line, the works. And when I was in class I was in that bloody class. Strangely taking the workshop healed my Covid somehow, it had been weeks that I was able to exert physical strength but when I was there there was nothing that was just me giving my hundred percent. Physically was not the issue at all, it was the mental part. I am a phone addict, my attention span is horrible, I am restless. but I wrote to my sister: those five hours a day that I didn’t have access to my phone, made me so clear about so many things that I’m always struggling with. Like decisions and emotions. I Ended the course on top of the world, almost yearning for more but felt really grateful that in the middle of so many theatre people (on the last day they were asked who felt what kind of difference in the acting in the workshop, and I was the only one who said I don’t have an answer because I’ve never done it before.) That I got to learn something even in its basics even knowing that I just learnt the list of things that I don’t know. I was off to Thailand and feeling really centred when I found out that Sir was going to do one more workshop on voice and speech. And I thought well if I did that there would be aspects of it that I already knew but I was saying to a friend that the way that this incredible teacher has made me feel as a way that I’ve not felt in a long time, I would take a course where he’s teaching to cook rice. Anyway in this course I felt sick again and actually had to go out of the class one day and straight to the doctors. I know the drill, I am s director myself; when I see the weak links I know that they are not going to be the ones that can sustain for long periods of extreme rehearsals, and I was sad that Sir saw me at my post Covid time when I was not 100% and actually i felt he will start to ignore me as the weak link. At the end of this course everyone was discussing new production and how everyone can be involved; in terms of working backstage helping publicity, I assumed that the participants of the actual play were selected. But suddenly I was invited to a conversation talking about if I wanted to do the production. This was 10th March night. The production goes in to 14th March i.e. tomorrow. On 11th March I called the facilitator and I said are you serious are you looking for me to help out with the background score, and she said so he’s going to have a meeting with you tomorrow. I know the schedule; it’s three months of every day, and so I too was feeling all sorts of nerves, and I just started speaking to all my friends are usually take advice from. All my three friends (shawki sharmin and tanmoy) and my sister had nothing else to say but Armeen,yes. (Well my sister calls me Bubu so she said Bubu. Also she said “i dont think u can say no”. Which made me realise ive already said yes.)

That night, the night before I was supposed to have a meeting with Sir to talk about my role, I get an SMS saying you do not need to have said meeting “apni dol ey achen 14th march shokal 8:30 theke rehearsal” (which translates to “ you are in the group.”)

Friends. Don’t know what will happen. If I will last the whole 3 mknths, or a week if I am just singing 2 lines or there to for helping out.. But “ami doley achi” and I’ve opened this new space to document the brilliant Syed Jamil Ahmed and Spardha through my eyes as someone from a blank slate. (Soz that was not short :P )

[5mind]

[ 📢 ] what does your muse’s voice sound like? is it high-pitched, or deep? is it nasal or set in their chest? describe it in as much detail as you can.

[ 📢 ] what does your muse’s voice sound like? is it high-pitched, or deep? is it nasal or set in their chest? describe it in as much detail as you can.

The voice Fivemind uses when not in the role of any unit (i.e. speaking out of a non-anthromorphic terminal) is the same as Red One's - light, notably synthetic, decent at conveying tone and emotion. Tbh, I personally just read it like how vocaloid kaito is in this.

Blue Two's voice has a lower pitch, text-to-speech kinda voice but with less flexibility when it comes to tone. Probably has a bit of difficulty being understood in languages that heavily requires rising or lowering tones.

Yellow Three's voice is...they sound like they're speaking out of a gameboy. Pitchwise, would place him at a 'tenor' (assuming they let videogame consoles into the choir). Flexible in tone.

Pink Four communicates through just splicing already existing audio together - samples from tv shows and movies Fivemind has saved. A very large chunk of them are from tokusatsu, including dubs, but there's also samples from other live action media (esp. from the 80s to 90s), cooking shows, documentaries, etc

Green Five doesn't have any form of audio output and communicates through sign and/or text that scrolls horizontally across his visor-screen. Goes pretty fast in both forms of communication.

[launching-a-thousand-ships]

Kurt Glee Rewatch: Acafellas

Oof this ep. Happy to skip all the Will stuff... Honestly, for teen shows, I hate when so much time is spent on the adults? Like, if I wanted that, I’d watch a drama about adults? This is a high school show? We care about the kids? They should be focus. Imagine the show with like... even half the amount of Will plot. More time on the New Directions... would be so much better. Maybe Matt would get a line lol

This outfit will always kill me. Kurt babe, no.

And tbh... Rachel has a point? Legit every ND performance, their choreo is just... not the best? Esp compared to VA. I’ll discuss more later but... they could use some help with the dancing. And once they have more members, they can try something more interesting than standing in a line or walking in circles and jumping.

Anyway...

Aww Kurtcedes!! Notice Kurt not only has hairspray, but also extra clothes in his locker. Prob bc of dumpsters/slushies. Yikes.

And poor Mercedes, all lonely. Does make me wonder about her life before. She has church choir friends and she didn’t seem super unpopular until glee club? Who did she hang with??

And the crush... Like she is sus at first, but Quinn and Santana ofc try to sway her. And I get it, Kurt is the first guy to be sweet to her and they def have fun together. And you know what, kudos for Mercedes for looking past stereotypes and giving it a chance. Bc yah, writers def put a lot of stereotypes into Kurt...

I wonder if he was just making a joke or if he actually practiced kissing his elbow lol. And notice, he’s much more comfortable being close with Mercedes, linking arms. So sweet.

Ah, the Lincoln Navigator. I do wonder how into cars Kurt was... we deserved more mechanic!Kurt (esp since we know he worked in the shop)

First mention of his dad. He’s all set up as prob being anti-gay. I wonder about Burt’s intentions. We see in 2009 how he threatened to take away Kurt’s sewing machine. They aren’t v close yet, so when it comes to laying down the law Burt is kinda flying blind. And part of this is his discomfort with Kurt being fem, but I’m sure part of it is his dad worrying. He doesn’t want his son to have a hard life.

And aw, Mercedes thinking she’s asking out Kurt while he’s just happy to have a friend to watch Liza Minelli with. Oof.

I also love how many VA performances we see and still no Jessie. He was just... away for the first semester. Or something.

So we had the ‘Gay-vention’ bc Kurt is ‘lady fabulous’ oof. 

And he wore a corset to class? And we don’t see this?? Rude.

And the iconic. Kurt is just so relaxed and happy and then Mercedes drops the bomb and Kurt is just. Shook. He just wanted a friend. He’s def not ready to come out, but he thought it was pretty clear without him having to actually say it. 

He says he made it obvious that he liked someone else? But his crush on Finn doesn’t seem v overt yet? Maybe he was more open around Mercedes? Or maybe it was just bc they needed the setup for him to say Rachel?

Either way, poor Kurt gets his windows busted, but he also witnesses the amazing performance. Def one of the best from s1

Him crying int he background, aww poor guy. He loves his car.

Ah, misfits banding together. The lesson we’ll learn every ep this season lol. 

Dakota is a jerk but omg his lines

“Artie you’re cut, you’re not trying hard enough” “At what?” “At walking”

Well, at least he knows Artie’s name??

“Stay away from aerosol cans cuz you could burst into flames at any second” omg poor Kurt. Glad he joins the walkout bc he’s not down for this bs.

Kurt says he has a tiara collection and we never see it. See, we keep getting told that Kurt dresses ‘like a girl’ but never really see it? He plays with gender, sure, but his style is always more masc leaning. Just not ‘typical’ masc so ppl find it weird. Ugh.

Also, his locker. Having guys abs... yeah, not exactly hiding lol. And the quote says “I would never ever have had the confidence to be in a school play” and excuse while I overthink.

I tried googling and don’t think it’s from anything specific? If someone knows, pls let me know. Also, just makes me even more sad he never got to properly star in... any play? We had a bit in Rocky Horror and he was great as Riff Raff but just... I’ll go into it s3 but damn it bugs me.

Anyway, shows how great Kurtcedes is bc she immediately goes to apologize, he trusts her enough to come out... like this is Glee, it could easily have been dragged out, but they settle it here in this sweet scene...

And that hesitation, the little choke on the word, this is definitely he’s said the words out loud and my heart cannot take it. I love that he gets this, he gets to come out. Everyone assumed his sexuality, but he gets this moment with Mercedes where she was ready to accept his crush on Rachel but he takes the step to open up and come out and I just love that.

And interesting how we get this and then the coming out to his dad, but not to everyone else? Maybe after Preggers he just accepts the comments? Doesn’t deny it? Bc ppl all assume he’s gay anyway.

And that also makes it so much harder bc he’s not ‘straight passing’ so even when he’s closeted everyone keeps bullying him for something he was barely able to admit to himself.

And Chris Colfer has talked about this, how after Preggers the media all just assumed he was gay too and he couldn’t really control his coming out and that breaks my heart and I could have a whole rant about media but.... not the time.

So ya, it sucks that Kurt didn’t have as much control, I’ll discuss more in Preggers tho.

[danepopfrippery]

I like how Crazy Ex Gf ended man-less. I also loooove that music was her love cuz music was my earliest love. But unlike Rachel Bloom i not only had poor parents, but i lived in a world where ‘30,000 pop city’ was ‘big’ (yet another way my hoar mother ruined my life but thats not the point). Oh and most importantly: most of it was pre internet.

I tried local vocal lessons, they were a joke and she was the only teacher 3hrs around. Id try for choir and extra choir stuff but they always left me hanging (private vocal lesson was my teacher ran an errand for 30 mins while i seethed). Band teachers were as bad and of ni help. And of course my hoar mother did nothing but discourage anything that made noise or reminded her i was alive (id walk i shit you not, 2 miles in the snow, for those useless lessons).

Later when i moved mildly less rural (nearest big town was 100,000 and half hr away) i got a better teacher and the stuff he taught me still is in there, but objectively he wasnt a good teacher (he couldnt take me beyond very basics, like shit u can knock out in 5 youtube vids now). And my lessons for vocal and piano were $50 and that was a lot for poor ppl.

When i moved to the city i tried my own vocal lessons but even when i found good i couldnt afford them w rent, and they were now $100. Id given up on piano and guitar except little bursts where id try to teach myself.

Finally i hit la and gave up entirely. Id been fighting 10 years and la rent doesnt leave room for extras. Years later i took vocal and trumpet classes at pcc which is really renowned and had pretty decent staff. I liked the vocal teacher, trumpet claimed u could be a beginner but expected u had done xyz despite that. I gave up when fibro and rent overwhelmed me. I did try harder on self voice and my asshole ex claimed he thought i was good despite 1) me never believing that and 2) not aware he ever heard me.

Back in 100,000 rural hell i took to youtube for the first time plus apps. Its early but i can tell it wouldve really made a dif back then if youtube had existed.

I guess this rant is cuz in the show Rebecca (who was bad with money and that came to a head end of s1 and then was literally never mentioned again) presumably still has enough money for equipment and frequent lessons despite pretzels. And she learns and does well in a year.

Could u imagine what america would be like if we actually supported the arts for people who dont make $100,000 a year? I hear beautiful singers all the time or at least when i used to go out. They got 5 kids and are running errands and would declare learning that stuff ‘not for ppl like us’ and/or the famous ‘wont make me any money.’

Yup in this time and place making money on art is harrrrd esp music even for big deal ppl. But why cant we just study and love it for fun? Ugh.

So i loved the ending but it did leave me a little salty

[cactusringed]

?!?!?! that sucks?? Sorry you have to deal with that. Here's some words.

Preaching to the choir here but I've really been enjoying Bdubs' most recent videos! I love the more cinematic way of editing he's adopted for hc, really makes it feel like a show (especially in tandem with the trial lol). Also his newest bwb straight up looks like something from an entire other game from afar and I'm really excited to watch that building competition video he participated in. He has the most insane impostor syndrome I think I've ever seen.

I think we need more Joel/Ethubs content in the world I think they could make him better. Or worse. Maybe throw Jimmy in there too for fun. I think Joel/Bdubs especially absolutely need more interactions and more content because what they already have is awesome (mounders, Joel killing bdubs' horses, that one time they compared heights) and it would take maybe just one especially strange conversation between them to make them fully a thing

I'm working on a very self indulgent AU recently with rabbit!bdubs (I've been calling him bundubs for short) and now I've been kind of enchanted by the thought of hunting that thing for sport. Idk I thought that was mildly entertaining

BUNDUBS.... BUNDUBS!!!!!!! OHHHH MY GOD I NEED TO DRAW BUNNY BDUBS IT'S SO CUTE DKDJDJD THINKING OF HIM WITH THE BIG FLOPPY EARS, JUMPY THE WAY RABBITS ARE. I WOULD CRY. I also want to hunt him for sports. Makes me think of secret life when he scott and impulse were playing tag and his screams were of pure terror. I love when he's scared.

But yeah honestly you can tell bdubs has SOOOO MUCH FUN with editing these days, it's genuinely amazing to see. I'm still lot over the trial episode it must have been so much work. I think bdubs always like, works so hard but with so much passion. Everything he does is with purpose - whether in builds (esp in bwb) or in editing or in acting, it's done with purpose and passion and love and it's always soooo palpable and it just. It makes me so damn happy. I could cry thinking of it lol.

Everything in his bwb world is genuinely so gorgeous and his newest building is just.. It rly is rhe culmination of everything he's learned recently. It's so damn impressive. Man.

He better win that building competition. I can't even begin to think what he wld build if his intent was to win against other great builders. Fuck dude

[evellys--blog]

lol haven’t posted in a while, I got some new thoughts going around I just kinda wanted to share :/

Now one, I’m losing hope quick that Jasmine has any chance of winning. I fully support voting for her still, but a, she’s still way off cost-wise for the ballots, so unless she summons like 500k soon shes going to have to drop out, which I def understand that rant at the end of the last live there, bc I want her to run, and to win!! but then b, I feel like ppl are both confused abt her policies and/ or just won’t vote for her, which is also sad and kinda tied into the prev problem :/

Also, two ig, I feel just straight up dissolutioned with politics and philosophy. Like I had this talk with my friend abt politics and it almost made me give up this art project I was doing, then I talked with another friend and I felt lucid again, but it’s just like, annoying thinking through things, esp with the last thing I was researching, rabbit-holing lol, was accelerationism, but specifically Mark Fisher’s whole line of thought and anti-hauntology and all that, and it just came back to an idea of solidarity essentially, within consciousness. I wrote this crazy 4k word memoir-essay-analysis-email to about my highschool life, a fanfic I was working on, and the books this guy wrote I was addressing, Matt Colquhoun, after reading his books, and it felt incredibly lucid and it’s probably the best piece I’ve ever written, I might post it some day but it’s very personal and kinda only works w the context between me and the guy, idk. Anyways, the point is that I read all those books, I almost read Libidinal Economy, the most depressing book ever lol, and thought through all this stuff, and like I put it in the email I wrote, because of the social position I was in, but then I just came back to the same fucking conclusion. It’s so annoying to do all this fucking research and do all this, seemingly profound, thinking, all to come back to the same fucking thing. Like yes, capitalism is evil and Lovecraftian, like there’s not arguing at this point, like we need community we need friendship we need fucking resources for life, but like the whole fucking world jus keeps going rightward and powers at be fuck is over over and over again, all the art we see is saying “GET THE FUCK OUT OF THIS SHIT” and “STOP STOP STOP” and in some cases even how to fucking do it. And it is doing something, I do see a shift, a leftward shift, and it seems to be impactful, like people at my school speaking out about Palestine, people online, at least cool people, all that, and all the Breadtube and stuff, analyzing that art, showing people to the revolution. But like, I’m tired of explaining the same shit over and over, I’m tired of our fucking diagnostic relationship with capitalism, I’m tired of feeling like I’m preaching to the choir whenever I speak and nothing changes. It’s like, where the fuck is the action? Where can I fucking do anything?

I just started this (mostly native) food forest garden in my backyard bc I have the space, and I’m going to start getting them in more communal parks and rec areas if I can, in an effort to get the right of food out for free as much as possible. I was thinking of staying local in my state for college, but with Kamala or Trump getting elected? I feel like this fucking country is fuckin doomed. I do fuckin hope it falls, but if it’s by its own contradictions, it’s bringing everyone down with it, and it is already. What do I fucking do?

I keep fucking talking in circles, it’s coming back to why i was going to read Libidinal Economy, its thesis has to do with the lack of any true ‘unalienated’ Outside. I don’t want to keep fucking talking in circles. I don’t want to keep talking in circles.

The only hope I see in this world for anything is if the Palestinian movement is successful, and at this rate im not even sure if it will (we have to persist until it is!). FREE PALESTINE FREE PALESTINE FREE PALESTINE