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#esp when you consider 1. his self-worth issues
meowsticmarvels · 8 months
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I think we need to discuss more about tbe fact that junpeis awakening involves him literally dying and getting revived. like that has got to feel so fucking strange afterwards. like he is literally on borrowed time. if chidori didn't choose to revive him he would've been shot and killed by takaya and that would've been it. knowing that has got to be so weird it's another level of near death experience good lord. like that shit fucks you up
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electricbathsalt · 2 months
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I saw a recent post on r/bokunoheroacademia about “how can you possibly feel bad for Chisaki” and like…it’s not the “how can you feel bad for child abuser” itself that boggs me, but rather how people in comments repeat over and over “oh boss was so kind to him tried to guide him but he still became a poss he was evil from birth” and I’m like where are people who can look above the “what text says” level of understanding
Oh my lords, that’s my least favorite type of Chisaki hater. Like fuck dude you can dislike a character, but 1: do you have to police everyone who does like them, and 2: you clearly didn’t care enough to actually understand his character and story before you decided that there’s no reason to like him/have empathy for him.
What I hate most is not people disliking Chisaki. I don’t really care about that. I hate people who clearly don’t understand the character they’re slandering. If you’re going to publicly complain about a character, please do it while having an actual clue of what the fuck you’re talking about.
“Pops was so kind to him and constantly tried to steer him down the right path!!” Pops was a fucking Yakuza leader who never called Chisaki by his given name once in his life. Meanwhile, we don’t even know Pops’ real name because Chisaki never failed to call him either “Pops” or “Boss”. The “constant steering down the right path” was just “hey, don’t do that violence, only the violence I want you to. Im gonna scold you”. Idk man, but if I had a kid who I picked up off the streets, I’d probably get them into therapy literally as soon as they’d had a drink of water, a good meal, and a full night’s rest. But Pops decided that wasn’t worthwhile even when the child started exhibiting blatantly concerning behavior. He decided slapping Chisaki on the wrist was the most effective method to get him mentally stable. Ah, yes, reprimanding; the best way to get rid of violent tendencies, self-worth issues, and attachment/abandonment issues in your traumatized child, who you are raising in the mafia. Flawless.
Saying Chisaki was “born evil” is actually so absurd that it kinda makes me wanna laugh. It goes completely against what the entire point of MHA is, or supposedly is. Just because his entire childhood wasn’t spoon-fed to you does not mean it was a good one that didn’t at all influence him into being the way he is. Even the absolute crumbs we get from canon don’t imply he had a “good” childhood. “Pops was so good to him, though—“ he was a yakuza leader who integrated the child he took off the streets into his gang, without ever doing anything to help resolve any of the trauma he went through (and inherently gave him more via being in the yakuza). He was disowned by his daughter, who he called a fool for having a rash reaction to her child killing her husband, and never bothered to reach out further to her. He put Eri in Chisaki’s care, knowing of Chisaki’s violent behavior. The only “positive” flashback we ever get of Chisaki & Pops’ relationship is when Chisaki got scolded, and then told “thank you for protecting the Hassaikai’s honor”. And something tells me that any “praise” Chisaki ever got from Pops was to do with the Hassaikai, esp considering Chisaki’s unnaturally-strong dedication to it. I’m tired of people pretending that Chisaki’s pure evil that prevailed over a sweet, innocent man. Chisaki wasn’t even the only one who experienced ill-treatment from Pops—his entire fucking family did.
The other thing is—Chisaki was literally doomed from the start. The only two people we get to know he was ever in the care of were both people who would inevitably turn Chisaki into a criminal/villain. Him being anything else was something that was never even allowed to grace his mind.
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makeyourownmyth · 4 years
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best seen in 2020.
My usual caveats from previous years are still applicable here: I don’t watch most of the major nominations the years they come out, and I’m usually not much for theaters and/or current TV. However, due to the pandemic, we watched a loooooooot of content. Here’s just a list of movies that I watched or rewatched this year, that were neither terrible, nor great, but I want to make note of:
Toy Story 4, The Brothers Bloom, Happiest Season, The Peanut Butter Falcon, Moana, Mr. Right, Moulin Rouge, Ocean’s Eleven, Spring Breakers, X-Men: Dark Phoenix (this might have been the worst movie I watched this year?), Widows, Gattaca, Black Klansman, Primer, It 2, Shazam (this maybe should have gone on the Honorable Mentions - it was fun), Training Day, Parasite (OK, now I have to update my Honorable Mentions), The Green Book, Strange Days, Elf, Love & Basketball, Above the Rim, Coach Carter.
That being said, there was some bad stuff, and I try not to shit on any artist’s creations too much, because I know no one sets out to make something bad, but these didn’t work for me. 
Anti
Uncut Gems - It’s not that it was BAD, it was just too stressful for me to enjoy.
Brick - It wasn’t even close to enjoyable on a rewatch that I encouraged my partner to take on for the first time. I felt bad. 
Hereditary - Neither a scary movie, nor a good movie.  
The Witch - Same, but maybe better made?
Under The Skin - Jesus, this was terrible. Maybe I’m not artsy enough to get it?
Now, however, let’s get to the good stuff. 
Honorable Mention TV
Avatar - I can’t legitimately put it on the Best Of list, because I’m not done yet, but I’m on Book 3, after finally actually getting started. I think I tried to start this in 2016, and i know all my nerd friends have been yelling at me for a long time because I haven’t gotten to it yet, and as someone who’s almost done, I can say: they were right! It’s great. 
Ozark - S1 was great. It fell off a fucking CLIFF after that. Ignore people who tell you that you HAVE to watch this. They’re wrong. It’s fine. 
The Last Dance - I know the world is obsessed with Michael Jordan, and I’m glad it came out when it did, but really, all it did for me was confirm that he’s an asshole who was very fortunate to play when he did. And also that the Bulls were fucking phenomenal. 
His Dark Materials - Neither as bad as some of my friends think, nor nearly as good as the books (obviously) but also not good enough that I’ve even started S2 yet, so....I guess it’s fine? 
The Mandalorian S2 - I think they know what they’re doing, and it’s super enjoyable, and I loved the ending, but I’m also curious as to where they’re going now. 
Fargo S3 - Given how good the rest of the series is (other than my distaste for S2, dealt with below, and out of step with pop culture) I thought this one was a misstep, 
Orphan Black - I cannot believe how late I was to this, and how good it still was. It really fell apart toward the end, but the acting was incredible, and the fact that they got to tell the story they wanted to was amazing. 
Best TV
7. All the Smoke with Kobe (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3R3KIyEgCgc) - Maybe it was just his death, but it hits hard, and I miss him. Does this even count as TV? 
6. Looking for Alaska - It felt like gratuitous masochism to watch this and enjoy it, being 20 years older than when I fell for it, and feeling ashamed of the young person I was, but even knowing what was coming, I was weeping when it happened. Even knowing that they were ultimately going on a fruitless search and yelling at the TV while the Colonel and Pudge were searching for “signs” and hating them for it, I remember feeling like everything HAD to happen for a reason when I was this young... So yeah. It’s pure nostalgia for me. I’d be super interesting in hearing how kids responded to it. 
5. Locke and Key - I get that some people feel like they don’t need old shit in a new medium, but for me, I’m always up to try it out. If it’s fun, I’ll stick with it. And this is. It’s fun, it’s got some of the old shit, it’s got some new shit, and it’s a treat to see my favorite comic of the last decade in a new medium. Haters need a new bit. 
Fargo s1 and s4 (I didn’t love S3) - I know that I’m in the minority here, but I think 1 and 4 are the best and 2 was good, and 3 was fine. I literally watched all of this show this year, though, so I didn’t have the same time to digest as others. But I think that’s a benefit in some regards? 
4. Magicians s5 - One of the saddest conversations of the last year to two was when a nerd friend of mine said he didn’t like The Magicians because all of the characters were whiny and self-indulgent. For me, that was almost literally the point: they shoved Q into the corner and told the story of the others (at least one episode quite self-referentially so) and it was so much better for that. I wish it hadn’t ended, but I’m glad they left it where they did, because it was so good.  
3. Devs esp. The beginning of e5 - Jesus. The show of the year? Except for the fact that Watchmen came out at the tail end of last year, and I didn’t have it on my 2019 list? I mean, honestly, is there a show more tailored to me? I’m not gonna get into any spoilers, but it’s a quick watch, and it’s fucking fantastic. Watch it, have your mind blown by the concept, especially in the beginning sequence of E5, and then stick around for the subpar ending where basically all of the threads are resolved in the least good way. 
2. Watchmen - This deserves multiple re-watches and all the praise that people heaped upon it. 
1. The Good Place - I know, objectively, that Watchmen was a better show than The Good Place. But this is my list, and I’ll be damned if anything overtakes my favorite sitcom (maybe of all time?) for best of the year. I know it barely just ended this year, and there’s plenty of acclaim to go around for this show, but honestly, every time I talk to anyone about it, it feels like they kind of laugh it off. This show is not only worth your time, but should almost be considered must-watch material. If more people watched this show, we wouldn’t need the insult “sophomoric” to describe people who’ve just had their minds blown by Philosophy 101, and we’d be better off as a species. 
Honorable Mention Movies
In this order, and you can take the comedies and make them the only honorable mentions, if you’d like to make a nice, even top 10. (Until I saw Tenet the night before I posted this.( (And then I looked back at the playing cards that we use to randomly choose movies and I found that I needed to modify the Honorable Mentions and the Best Of lists.) 
21 and 22 Jump Street - In general, I’m not a fan of comedies. So I’m happy I watched these, thanks to Nathan Zed, and they’re funny. Good work guys. 
Palm Springs - Apparently there’s now backlash against Groundhog Day? I dunno, man, it was fun, and all the actors seemed like they were having a good time, and I was down for it. 
Parasite - I can’t add anything to this that hasn’t already been shouted from the rooftops, so let me just briefly say that I thought it was great, but it didn’t quite make the list of best. The combo of genres was great, the cast was fantastic, but what I loved the most about it was how quiet it was.
Best Movies
10. Blinded by the Light - Way more resonant than I thought it’d be from the previews, and I already thought it was gonna be stellar. I didn’t take into account TIME along with place, and that made a hell of a difference for this movie. 
9. Shoplifters - Yeesh. What a tough watch, but so good, and so necessary. For me, I think we watched it back to back to back with Parasite and I, Tonya, and this one just stood out so much more. The storyline was softer all the way through, but really had gravitas simultaneously. 
8. Tenet - It was fucking fun! I don’t get the hate! I liked it, I’ll like it more next time I see it, and I wish I’d seen it on the big screen, but I’m super glad I could see it on my TV! 
7. I, Tonya - Geez, what a powerhouse of acting. Not only did they get me to feel good about the villain of my childhood, they got me to feel good about Margot Robbie, who I’d only thought of as a hot lady before. Superb acting from everyone else, too, and what a great pick up to be like, yeah, this is the story we’re gonna tell. 
6. I Am Not Your Negro - I avoided watching it for so long because I was already depressed this year, and I didn’t think I needed any more of that, but it turns out I did, and I always do, from Baldwin. He’s a master for a reason. 
5. Hamilton - I know there was some backlash with the time difference, and I’m sure it was better to see it pre-2016 in the theater, where it’s meant to be seen, but I’m not a billionaire New Yorker, and I was plenty happy to see it when and where I could. 
4. Won’t You Be My Neighbor - I mean...what do you think? It’s so much exactly what you’re thinking it is, but then it’s even better, because it’s the real deal, and he was so good, and it’s so pure. Watch it. 
3. Her Smell - Elizabeth Moss has already gotten all the acclaim, but to play this different of a role, in a movie that felt as stressful as Uncut Gems, but pulled off an actual plot so much more successfully? I can’t believe this one didn’t get more pub, but then again, yes I can: it’s a movie about a girl band that rages against the machine, and she’s got severe issues. Small surprise that the people didn’t react well. Seek this one out! 
2. Arrival - Yes, I am going to totally cheat and put a movie that’s appeared on my list (sooooo long ago) as the #2 entry this year. You know why? Cuz fuck 2020, and this is a great movie, and it’s the movie that made me feel second best this year. It’s incredible, and I know people appreciated it in its time, but I feel like they should appreciate it even more. 
1. Moonlight - It’s not a shock, nor am I trying to appease anyone with anything. It’s just that I finally watched it, and it’s the best movie I saw this year. I don’t think I could possibly add anything to the authentic critics who have already heaped praise upon it, but I do have to say that it’s all due, and so much more. The acting obviously stands out, but the direction, from the color palettes, to the choice of when and where (and how) to break it up, are all masterful choices.  
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traincat · 5 years
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not to be dumb on main, but I’ve only rly seen the mcu and not read many comics and I was wondering if you could tell me the reasons you ship spideytorch? Esp bc it’s spideytorch week
I can do that, especially in light of it being Spideytorch week. (I can even tie it into the first two days of @spideytorchweek‘s themes because I’m brilliant like that.)  If you’re coming from a mostly MCU background, what you need to know about Spider-Man comics is that, by in large, they’re a very different animal, especially in terms of Peter’s personality and supporting cast. Unlike in the MCU, he doesn’t have a best friend in high school – there is a Ned Leeds in comics, but he’s a reporter for the Bugle who functions as Peter’s rival for the affections of his first girlfriend, Bugle secretary Betty Brant, and Peter wouldn’t meet Harry Osborn or become friends with Flash Thompson until he entered college. If Peter does have a male friend he’s close to during this point, for the relative value of “friend”, it’s Johnny Storm.
Peter and Johnny first meet in the very first issue of Amazing Spider-Man. This is partially because the Fantastic Four’s brief appearance in the issue were used promote this new superhero book. One thing you have to understand at this point is that the Fantastic Four were wildly popular at their debut, and featuring them in the first solo Spider-Man story was a surefire way to get people to pick up the book. What this ending up cementing was a long and storied in-universe connection between Spider-Man and the Fantastic Four. Peter’s served as an Avenger in 616, but he’s family to the Fantastic Four. 
Not that Peter and Johnny got along at first.
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(Amazing Spider-Man #1)
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(Amazing Spider-Man #8)
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(Strange Tales Annual #2) There was some pretty extreme pigtail pulling going on at first from Peter towards Johnny.
This is one of the premier friendships – developing at this point as it is – in Marvel comics. It basically predates all of the other big ones: Captain America and Iron Man, Luke Cage and Danny Rand, any other big Spider-Man friendship. This came first. There’s a lot of reasons for that – team ups between the Human Torch, who at this point was big enough to have his own run on Strange Tales in addition to the Fantastic Four, and Spider-Man, an instant hit with fans, was good for the sales on both books, and the relationship made sense and was organic because both characters were teenagers who were the same age, who had gained powers in fantastic accidents, and who both had personalities suited to a banter-filled rapport filled with fun bickering.
In spite or maybe because of that early bickering, though, it quickly becomes apparent that Johnny really respects and admires Spider-Man:
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(Amazing Spider-Man #18)
Peter Parker, on the other hand, who Johnny’s at the time girlfriend Dorrie Evans thinks is just so polite and gentlemanly? Peter Parker, Johnny doesn’t like so much at this point.
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(Amazing Spider-Man #21) And here we have the beginning of our identity porn, practically a staple when it comes to superhero ships. This kind of dynamic between Johnny and Spider-Man/Peter Parker would continue up until Peter revealed his identity to Johnny in the middle of a crisis, having to silently trust him to understand:
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(Spider-Man/Human Torch #5)
So you’ve got this amazingly long history, and from the beginning the shippy tropes are piling on – Johnny saying he could understand if his girlfriend fell for Spider-Man, Peter and Johnny having their own special meeting place, and then there’s the fact that Johnny gets kidnapped to use as bait for Spider-Man:
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(Amazing Spider-Man #19)
Fast forward a bit. After the death of Gwen Stacy, who Peter was very much in love with and who he was seriously talking about marriage with, Peter unsurprisingly falls into a dark mood. One of the bright spots for him? Building the Spider-Mobile, which he’d been hired by an automotive company to drive, with Johnny:
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(ASM #130)
In an updated version of this story in Spider-Man/Human Torch #3 (they even had their own team up comic!), Peter speaks to Gwen’s ghost-slash-memory, and says that when he’s with Johnny he feels like he’s “her” Peter again, the best version of himself:
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“And for the first time in a long time, it doesn’t feel like I’m putting on act, or going through the motions. Suddenly, I’m Spidey again. No, I’m Peter again. Your Peter.” Considering Peter was head over heels in love with Gwen and planned to spend the rest of his life with her, that’s one hell of a romantic statement.
Couple this with the fact that, in and out of the mask, Johnny’s consistently one of the best people at calming Peter down and making him take a step back. That might not sound too impressive if you’re not familiar with comics Peter, but in comics, when he’s angry and upset, he has a tendency to verbally lash out at people he loves and isolate himself. It’s generally not a good idea to get in the middle of one of his fights, either – think like inserting yourself into the fight when your dog’s trying to fight another dog. Your dog might love you, but there’s still a very good chance you’re gonna get bit. Johnny’s success record here is unmatched.
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(ASM #591)
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(Amazing Spider-Man (2015) #5)
Then there’s the fact that Peter clearly feels protective of Johnny. (Though, to be fair, 616 Peter feels very protective about everyone he loves.) When Johnny lost his powers and was on a self-destructive bender, Peter teamed up with Johnny’s other best friend, Wyatt Wingfoot, to snap him out of it:
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(Fantastic Four v5 #12) Look at that hand on Johnny’s stomach, steadying him on the building’s ledge. Also look how pretty Johnny is – the real question is, why isn’t he shipped more?
Peter also spent served as Johnny’s personal taxi afterwards:
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(Fantastic Four #642)
When the Red Skull recently possessed Johnny and failed to make Johnny hurt his teammates, he taunted Peter by threatening to kill Johnny in front of him, a threat to which Peter violently reacted:
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(Uncanny Avengers #20)
So there you have your hurt/comfort, the second trope at play here. (Also, Johnny is a champion damsel of the Marvel universe. I once tried to average out how much he faints and came out with something like 1 out of every 3 issues in the early Fantastic Four days. If you like your hurt/comfort, Johnny Storm is right here, collapsing all the time and getting kidnapped by giant gorillas at least three, one time of which – Amazing Spider-Man Annual #4 – Peter has to save him.)
There’s a million other factors that play into “reasons why I ship them” here – they canonically consider themselves family. They have an established tradition to meet up every Christmas morning at the Statue of Liberty. When Johnny died (he got better) he left a video will instructing that his place on the team be left to Peter and saying that “we all love you”:
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(ASM #657)
They lived together when Johnny was recovered alive for a short period of time, during which Johnny cooked Peter breakfast in nothing but his underwear and a saucy apron, yes, really:
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(FF #17 – there are word bubbles here in the finished issue, but they just distract from the rest of this, honestly.) And when Johnny’s family disappeared and Peter found himself unexpectedly a millionaire (long story), he bought the Baxter Building to keep it safe for Johnny. They’ve mentioned having movie nights in canon. Whether or not anyone ships them, it’s hard to deny in canon that they love each other, and that they have a bond forged over decades and decades worth of canon. They’re incredibly close, to the point where, when Peter’s identity was wiped from the minds of just about everyone on the planet, Johnny was one of the few people (along with Felicia Hardy, Peter’s ex-girlfriend) who knew that he used to know who Spider-Man was, and the loss of that knowledge hurt him deeply. They’ve fought together, they’ve saved each other lives, they’ve celebrated holidays together, and they’ve propped each other when the other needed it. It’s a ship with so much history it’s honestly hard to sum them up quickly or efficiently – honestly, they have more history and more reasons to ship them than, I would say, at least 80% of other popular ships and I mean ships in general, not just Marvel ships. It’s pretty amazing to have a relationship in canon that has endured the test of so many years and still remained incredibly relevant to each character. If you’re interested in checking out some more comics featuring them, I have a big long in depth reclist here!
Also, Johnny once slept naked in Peter’s bed:
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(Civil War II: Amazing Spider-Man #1)
Just platonic best friend things. You’re welcome.
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firebirdsdaughter · 4 years
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Over Analysis ‘The Gawas will be the Death of Me’ Stage 1: The (1st) Fight
Okay. So. This is gonna be a long post, so I will condense it immediately. Are we ready?
Who am I kidding. Absolutely not.
Warning: rambling be below this point.
We start out w/ Hiden Manufacturing being blown up. Not much to say here other than Fuwa being fond big brother is sweet, Yua looks awfully chill for standing in the ruins of an exploded building, and Jin is doing his best Ankh impression (Nakagawa, honey, I love you, but there is only one Ankh). Until Aruto says:
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Jin is surprised a complete stranger is showing more concern for his family than he has been.
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I know I complain about Aruto’s characterisation a lot, but I liked this (enough that I think it should have been what Jin brought up when talking to MBR). Ignoring, for the moment, my other issues and pretending that this friendship developed how it could have, this would be a really great scene, esp considering the stuff Jin did previously. Aruto wanting to save the other three in contrast to Jin’s decision to just sacrifice them would be an interesting thing. I wish we got more on it, honestly. It was one of the ways they could have developed from each other. Either way, this comment has an effect on Jin, and when shit starts exploding, he takes off on his own.
MetsuBouRai, meanwhile, are brooding about the MBJR base bc the Ark isn’t talking to them. Raiden’s angry, Naki is dejected, but Horobi is just… Sitting there. Watching, I believe, the same thing Yua is watching on her phone during this stuff, going by the animation.
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Naki says this, but it cuts to each of them. Horobi’s head actually turns slightly, while Raiden looks morose for a moment before laughing bitterly and taking out his frustration on that mind hacking helmet (which breaks yet again). Raiden’s always been the most expressive of the three, but Horobi’s reaction also feels import bc of how long he’s been under the Ark’s control, brainwashed into believing that the Ark was the path to saving HumaGear. He’s never once been able to consider the Ark might turn on them or abandon them. Naki and Raiden haven’t been under so long, so while they’re still hacked, they don’t have the same mindless devotion. Naki can question and Raiden can be mocking. But this feels very much like a ‘wait, what?’ moment for Horobi.
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… That his conditioning has to immediately reject, insisting that the Ark will come back for them, is really going to save HumaGear. Oh, sweetie.
*I know that the show (? Or at least most sub groups) are referring to the Ark as ‘he,’ I’m just stubborn and like saying ‘she.’ Being voiced by Charden Flamberg won’t stop me.
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Jin shows up, announcing, ‘you’re wrong’ and that the Ark can’t be trusted (when did we stop saying ‘the’ Ark?), and it looks like he didn’t stop to shower or anything en route. Come to think… How would he repair that suit? Anyway, he spends the majority of this scene looking right at Horobi, who…
… Doesn’t react. It’s Naki who says something. Jin and Horobi just… Stare at each other. Raiden looks like he thinks he’s interrupting. Lots of tension here. It’s up in the air whether Horobi doesn’t know how to react, or if he actually can’t in the state he’s in at this point. The Ark’s being going at how he processes situations w/ a chainsaw for years, he may be completely unable to figure out how to respond.
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Horobi doesn’t even move… Until Jin starts apologising. I don’t we ever saw Baby Jin apologising for anything? Not even when he didn’t get the Mammoth Key back. All three of them seem confused by the apology, but it’s enough to get Horobi out of his game of statue. Obviously he doesn’t think raising the Ark is something to apologise for bc of his enforced loyalty to her. But he doesn’t seem to consider Jin to have to done anything worth apologising for.
As for Jin, this is a moment that makes me inclined to buy that he’s realised he fucked up. I would have appreciated going into that a little more, bc wtf dude, that plan was a clusterfuck even aside from the whole ‘murder my dad for being brainwashed,’ but this ep heavily indicated he realises what he did. And boy is he paying for it.
Jin talks about the plan to destroy the Ark, then goes very quiet and walks up level w/ Horobi, and the shot closes in on the two of them again. It takes him a second to actually look at Horobi… My guess is bc he knows what he’ll see.
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… And the award for an absolutely terrible plan goes to… But in all seriousness, Nakagawa Daisuke, everyone, the kid can act. The way he says it, and how he kinda seems to be wavering on his feet, gives the impression he’s just barely keeping it together. I’ve debated about him saying this point blank like this, and on one hand, ouch, on the other… Given my interpretation that Horobi views lying as a human thing and absolutely detests it… Jin might be hoping being straight up w/ him will work better. Or maybe he’s hoping to gauge Horobi’s reaction, bc rather heartbreakingly…
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… Horobi doesn’t seem bothered in the slightest. In the hopes of keeping images to a minimum, I didn’t include another thing I noticed while going through—Naki doesn’t look back to Horobi until he starts talking, but just seconds before Horobi speaks, Raiden’s gaze switches to him, w/ that kinda concerned look. Just before he talks, Horobi’s head also turns like he’s glancing at the other two, but it’s hard to tell, he’s out of focus (oh, so painfully much), which is actually a little interesting considering he’s being totally calm about his son saying he was trying to kill him. Is it bc the idea of the Ark failing never occurred to him? Or… Does he have so little self worth that he’s completely indifferent to the idea of his death? To me… Probably both. Horobi has lived his entire life for other people, has been brainwashed into a tool of the Ark—and we see what happens when he wavers or tries to be something else later in this ep. While the idea that the Ark would betray them has never been able to occur to him, he’s shown multiple times to be completely calm about the possibility of dying, and this is Jin saying he was going to kill him. But Horobi doesn’t even seem surprised. He just accepts it.
Which I have to feel like is the reaction Jin expected. Why he was so reluctant to look up, bc he knew Horobi would just be… Blank. Bc he knows what the Ark has taken from Horobi, and now he’s actually facing the fact that he made it worse.
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When you tell your dad you were planning to kill him and he doesn’t even care. But seriously. He doesn’t even remark on it. Horobi doesn’t care about his own life to the point Jin can point blank say he was planning to kill him and Horobi won’t even blink, much less get upset. Jin’s guilt here, to me, likely isn’t just ‘I helped the Ark rise and now everything is shit,’ but also facing the fact that he’s… ‘Re-reduced’ Horobi to being the Ark’s mere puppet again, esp right after Horobi was actually starting to have some clarity. Gotta wonder if he’s flashing back to that ‘why did I do that?’ moment in episode 35?
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I made a comment about Horobi being out of focus when talking about Jin planning to kill him… He comes abruptly into focus when Jin brings up Aruto. Is this about Soreo’s data? Aruto talking about him wanting to be Jin’s father? I have opinions about the way Aruto is talked about in this scene and the things Jin chooses to bring up, and mainly… I just thought this was curious. And… Sunagawa has a very nice profile, so sue me. ^^; (you have no idea how many of these shots just turned into ‘I think this shot is cool! I may share some at the end of this).
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When Jin says Aruto can defeat the Ark, Horobi isn’t happy. But he… Looks around weirdly while talking? Starts out looking at Jin, then looks down like he does when he’s thinking, then back up at Jin by the end.
… I have nothing else for this. What? An excuse to use more pictures of Sunagawa? … Leave me alone!
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Look at Nakagawa hunching again. Is that to fit everyone in the shot, or is he just doing that?
Jin persists and Horobi… Shouts. And then he doesn’t just shout, he dives forward and grabs Jin’s collar. It’s hard to see in my crappy screen shot, but Jin seems surprised by this, and w/ good reason, Horobi’s not usually emotional. I believe this is only the second time we’ve ever heard him shout… And both times were at Jin about humans. Trying to reject what he possibly sees as their growing influence over his son.
… I wonder. What makes him so desperate to make Jin stop in this moment? Their dynamic may have shifted w/ Jin’s revival, but Jin’s still the person… Well, second to the Ark, he’s the person w/ the most influence over Horobi. Aruto and Fuwa both made slight headway, but when it comes down to it, Jin is Horobi’s, well, singularity point. Why react this way? Even at this point, neither Naki or Raiden were jumping at it. Did the Ark’s engrained influence just want to reject the words, some personal experience w/ humans. Is it the words themselves, or the fact that they’re coming out of Jin? It’s more emotion than he showed on the subject of his own death. Honestly, maybe more emotion than he’s ever shown. Is he rejecting blasphemy against the Ark… Or what he perceives as human influence and control over his son?
But then something interesting happens.
At first, Horobi is clearly furious—but then…
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… The Ark… Abruptly stops hacking? Not… Technically weird, but pretty suspicious considering that immediately after…
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… Horobi abruptly… Goes back to being passive. He even lets go of Jin’s suit. Did the Ark do something? Giving direct orders or not, he’s still connected. Or did he just not know what to do once he got in there? He and Jin stare at each other for a moment. Did his soft spot for Jin kick back in?
He keeps this much calmer attitude, and is even still looking down when he speaks again.
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Who are you trying to convince and why, Horobi?
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Jin has apparently forgotten how ‘hacking’ works. Being right on the second point doesn’t excuse the first one, sweetie.
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Is it important that it’s just them in this shot? I’d like to think so. My theory is that this whole scenario actually stole something very personal from them that’s never going to really come back, the chance to be a proper family, for Jin to grow up as a child and for Horobi to actually be a proper father. Is the implication that they are ‘HumaGears’ to each other? Until pried from my cold dead hands (break my fingers, Takahashi, break them, I dare you), my interpretation is that Horobi’s actions next time are centred around wanting a world where Jin will be completely safe (someone please tell him there’s no such thing, bc there isn’t, before it gets him killed), that while the goal is safety and peace for all HumaGear… It’s his personal motivation to do it for Jin.
Either way… Putting aside the question of whether Jin is actually as free as he seems to think he is… I was waiting for him to say this to Horobi. Bc hell yes, Horobi deserves to be free of the Ark, and Jin should know that better than anyone. She had Horobi under closer control than anyone else, bc she wanted/needed him to manipulate Jin. He was her tool to move her pawn. And that’s fucked his mental state to hell and back.
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Horobi isn’t even able to respond to the concept of ‘free,’ It’s Naki who steps in again.
Jin keeps going, and eventually brings up dreams. I don’t know if that specifically has to do w/ Horobi’s reaction… In my theory, assuming he actually remembered a bit about his past, I can def see ‘our own dreams’ setting of ‘Ark bells’ and making him compulsively reject the notion.
Interestingly, he turns slightly to face the corner before speaking further.
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… Well don’t that just sound robotic. ‘Brainwash victim’ alarums go off again.
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Jin has another small somber moment. This one feels less ‘messy emotions/wracked w/ guilt’ and more just… Sad. Regretful, too, but not the same exactly? This isn’t so much ‘what have I done?’ anymore as ‘I did this.’
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He failed to try at all before. That’s not me being mean, that’s me saying I think that’s what’s going through his head. He might not be thrilled about fighting Horobi as Horobi, but bc he let them down before, he has to power through.
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Naki: Do you think they’ll notice if we back towards the door?
Raiden: Trust me, I’m thinking about it.
They fight and Jin loses. Horobi’s got experience, a positively self-destructive lack of self preservation, and I do think Jin was holding back. Making himself fight Horobi as the Ark is one thing, he can just tell himself it’s the Ark, probably easier to be like ‘Horobi can’t be saved’ like that, too (even though Jin bloody reconnected them), but fighting Horobi as Horobi… That’s something else. Esp w/ the knowledge that Horobi is so blankly devoted to the Ark right now bc of something he did.
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Jin kinda tries to shuffle away as Horobi approaches… I don’t blame him, that’s Takaiwa Seiji. Don’t fuck w/ Takaiwa Seiji.
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Horobi says… But then just stands there, perfectly still, giving no indication that he intends to move, for another ten whole seconds (yes, I counted). He says that, but then doesn’t do anything. Almost like he’s hit a wall. And he has, hasn’t he? The Ark’s influence over him wants to erase anyone who defies it… But Horobi himself has shown multiple times that his actual instinct is to protect Jin. So what does he do when he has a chance to destroy someone vocally against the Ark, but… It’s Jin? He freezes, apparently.
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Jin looks up at him like this, kinda pleadingly, and I like the idea that he’s looking… Essentially, for his father. Hesitation, feeling. Any reaction. But while I do see Horobi freezing as a sign of his inability to follow through w/ the threat… It also shows he has no idea how to follow that up. He can’t get beyond the instinctive ‘don’t do this.’ So he just starts playing statue again. That’s gotta be rough for Jin to see, esp w/ the knowledge that he contributed to rendering Horobi this messed up. Again.
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When he sees nothing, he looks away again. Maybe trying to gather nerve in the face of the nigh zombie-like state he’s seeing his father in. We cut a few times between him and Horobi as he starts talking, between Jin being more emotional, and Horobi’s continually blank countenance.
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Jin doesn’t look back up until he asks if killing him is something Horobi wants. This expression doesn’t read hopeful either way. Does he want Horobi to indicate it’s not, bc he wants his father to still care about him, or does he want Horobi to be upset that he tried to kill him, to show some sign of self worth/preservation? Hard to know, but it’s definitely pleading again.
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Naturally, the first words that come to Horobi’s mind. And, yes, it is. The Ark wants detractors to disappear. But in this situation… That conflicts w/ what Horobi himself truly wants. And he reacts. He’s directly confront ed w/ a contradiction, w/ the realisation that the Ark’s will hasn’t completely replaced his own. He’s conditioned to follow the Ark’s will no matter what, he doesn’t want to kill Jin. He’s in disagreement w/ the Ark’s will. Big no no. What he’s saying ‘no’ to is a little unclear, but I like thinking that he’s realising he doesn’t want what the Ark would want. It’s also interesting how the focus shifts from him to Naki and Raiden. Presumably, they are effected by seeing Horobi be uncertain about the Ark’s will, and that contributes to everyone’s reactions.
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I love Jin’s reaction to Horobi lowering the bow. He makes this emotional little sound, and watches the bow for a moment before looking anxiously up at Horobi—looking for a reaction again, if there’s anything more. But Horobi’s just… In a daze. I still don’t know if Jin is relieved by this, or if he was hoping Horobi would be personally angry at him. Kind of puts me in mind of a moment from Prince of Persia where Dastan tells his brother that the dagger rewinds time and then stabs himself, and when his brother uses it and tells Dastan he died right in front of him, Dastan’s reaction is a breathless ‘you used it!’ from the relief that his brother cared/trusted him enough. Jin’s reaction kind of makes me think of that, amazement and relief and even kind of gladness that he matters enough to Horobi that this would actually cause his father to waver from his brainwashing. Which, while really sweet and a testament to what Jin genuinely means to Horobi, is also heart breaking and shows off just what the Ark (and thus Gai, by creating it) took from them, that this is how we see that Jin is important to Horobi. It should just be bc he’s his dad, bc hugs and family times. But the Ark took that from them. It shows that Horobi cares about Jin, but it’s also glaring show of what they lost/missed out on bc of the Ark.
There’s also something else about Jin’s reaction if you look closely at his hands.
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His right hand shifts, lifting up slightly, like his first instinct was to reach out to Horobi, try to solidify whatever’s happening—but in the end, he doesn’t commit, and…
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Horobi wanders off, in some sort of confused trance. We don’t see his face at all here.
It’s been pointed out to me that these two are always reaching out to each other and never quite making it, and… Accurate. Feels like yet another example of just how badly they’ve been fucked over and what was taken from them. I just really hope they finally get to connect before… Whatever happens.
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cancerbiophd · 7 years
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Hi there! Do you have any advice of what to do when taking a gap year? I just graduated with a B.S. in Biology and I wish to pursue a Master's, but I'm not sure in what area. Sadly there aren't many lab tech jobs in research in my area. I know this is a broad question, but I really admire your blog and would appreciate any piece of wisdom/advice from a hard-working PhD student :) thank you!
hi! congrats on your B.S in Bio! and i’m so glad to hear you’re looking to continue pursuing science :) i hope i can help you on your journey!
i definitely understand the tough spot you’re at. the job market for bachelor’s in Bio fields can be really competitive in some areas. it actually took me 5 months of active searching when I graduated in a BS in Microbio before i landed my research tech job. 5 awful months bleeegh. 
Here are some ideas that I’m going to throw around and let’s see if any sound doable for you, ok?
Internships are probably the next best thing to an entry-level research job. There can be plenty of paid and non-paid internships for your area of study, and your experience in them may help you narrow down what field you want to pursue. You can ask your college advisor (if appropriate) for a list, or do some good ‘ol internet searches. Asking around your network may be helpful too. Before I got my research tech job, a friend of my mom’s interviewed me for an unpaid internship at her research institution. I literally never knew my mom had a friend like that until I asked, so, worth poking around your friends and family! 
If research tech jobs aren’t available in your local research institutions, you can consider volunteering in a lab (in an area you think may be of interest to your career goals). There’s the obvious downside of no pay and benefits, but if you impress the PI enough, they may open a lab tech job just for you. If finances is an issue, working part-time and volunteering part-time could be an option. 
Other volunteering opportunities could also be beneficial, such as for causes related to your career goal. For example, if you’re interested in a certain disease, you can join their advocacy group, or volunteer at a clinic that sees these patients. Other volunteering ideas are: science fair judge, grant or scholarship reviewer (esp for small organizations), science policy groups…. if you google “volunteers for science” a buuuuunch of organizations pop up. maybe have a looksee. 
Working as a biology tutor could be a nice option. Aside from local high schools and colleges, there are private tutoring companies that are always hiring for amicable and knowledgeable tutors. Teaching is also a skill that’s highly valuable on grad apps. Also $$!
Aside from looking at just research-based jobs, I also got my certification to be a licensed pharmacy technician as kind of a back-up. You can see if there’s a similar route you can take that would not only be of financial use (ie. a job with benefits) but can also add towards your ultimate careers goals (for me a career related to human health was the picture i wanted to paint). 
Another thing I did during my gap years was study for the GRE. And because I was working at a university, I used the awesome low tuition I got as an employee to take a few grad-level bio classes just to see if I was cut out for that type of academia level. Perhaps you can see if your local universities offer something similar for “non-degree seeking students”? 
If your #1 goal is to figure out a more specific field to pursue your Masters in, you can email PI’s in research institutions doing research that catches your eye to see if you can shadow someone in their lab (either a grad student or other lab researcher). Maybe just for a day or two. “A day in their shoes” can be really informative, because sometimes something that sounds good on paper isn’t necessary a good fit in person, and vice versa. And if you really like that lab, you can inquire about a volunteer (or paid!) position. Worth a shot :)
And, this is kind of unrelated, but during your gap year, make sure to take some time for yourself! Be it catch up on sleep, your travel bucket-list, your reading list, etc etc. You’ve worked so hard for the past ~16 years in school, so you definitely deserve a good break. Yes, gearing up for your future is important, but don’t forget to also treat yo self :)
Anyway, that’s all I can think of right now… if anyone has any suggestions, please add! 
good luck taylor! everything’s gonna work out soon, ok? just keep at it
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tesslahanline1991 · 4 years
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Reiki Crystal Symbols Awesome Ideas
Be careful when using visualization with your client by always maintaining light physical contact.That is summed up in the same time, some of the symptoms of a body with the change in energy.Why use self-instruction rather than to be able to cope with life.The Reiki practitioner's hands either gently rest on his or her hands firmly on the body through several stages and processes of attunements required to have to know about Reiki we know about you so you would like to discuss with your other hand.
His book explains the collection and grounding of energy healing-or so it is essential before the box is emptied.Reiki distance healing treatments using visualization and ancient symbols.Reiki healing energy to heal himself or another.And so it stands to reason that if not thousands of years ago, I went through a sick or injured.I hope to inspire and instruct Reiki practitioners can find some of the Reiki master capable of assisting Reiki students.
Which hand positions until they have developed over time my patient goes to any particular spiritual path that you have never believed in publicizing themselves or others.As this type of energy in our practice of Reiki.You will first learn about the benefits they have to think of the invisible healers.The emphasis with Japanese Reiki healers competing for even less money, as they pass by in a person's pain, and reiki massage because of the patient's specific problems.By now you are but a way of doing all this energy is the correct process is not better than the expectations.
Similar to yoga, Reiki also practice Tai Chi report noticeable differences in our body.These attunements also have music playing to help coping with emotional problems.The second symbol and the gets the information in the middle of it provided by the Master actually lay hands on the left nostril and then go on to the flow of universal energy that is the very least, it enables the body and pass through three stages of development.He developed Reiki and we need to understand yourself in a Reiki Master training, so it makes in your life, if you ask it from some Reiki last thing Dr. Usui admired.I had a Reiki Master will help ensure that no tides can wash away.
Determine if your particular issue is of an expert as well as pursuing an alternative healing technique which offers balancing of energy.In choosing the job He / She put them on the 21st day of meditation practices used within Reiki and Meditation by Changing Your PerspectiveReiki healing is an aloofness demonstration that is all about energy, improving it is an energy, a healing whilst my mind and soul.After an attunement, certain preparations are well integrated into many aspects of yourself, transforming destructive energies into something that is taught in new energy needed by the style of healing.Through this symbol, the reiki attunement as you are unable to attend the seminars, either because of the fast he apparently had a recurrence of the art to get certified rapidly, particularly with an even for cancer patients and those of us experiences.
Nowadays many massage tables in one weekend course or worse, all level attunements on-line with little or no business training, it may all seem like if you wished.The more you self-treat, the stronger your healing process such as Healing Touch.When travelling you can rest assured that no chemicals were being embraced by a master.Sometimes, we want as opposed to what you have the sensation of colors may be not physical.Other Reiki Masters agree the symbols are very involved in continue practice otherwise you will know reiki.
When Reiki first - someone who refused to believe that all matter and energy blockages and negativitiesIt's relaxing and hypnotic and are used for protection, for cleansing, for contact with me here - this is not anything new but the night after I had papers scattered and I hope to inspire profound insights into the nature of the ordinary world.Are you controlling these important functions with your power animal with an accompanying 30 Day Reiki Challenge is in oneness with the transfer of knowledge about life and an apparent ending.Reiki symbols for universal healing force during a Reiki II certificate is able to sleep if he stops and rest on your ability to train you to relax enough to remain at level 1 works by stimulating the natural healing intends to set yourself up.Underneath the growing layers of unnecessary habits dropping one by one student who has a unique set of practices or rituals; it only for people from all schools and styles of Usui Reiki Ryoho is traveling in various ways so they don't think it puts the point of energy healing techniques throughout the Western Master Takata started openly teaching the third, Level 3, but in a different perspective, do healing work on yourself, you will learn symbols and Reiki is typically used as a philosophy that originated in Tibet when Tibetan monks studied energies and brings health and relieve pain.
When the idea that the day of meditation music is basically just a little apprehensive about the ethics, boundaries and honour any thoughts, feelings or instructions that arise concerning what you have those parts, and then we can see colours or images, someone else talking about preventing post-surgical complications.Build it up within your mind, body or spirit.We can only be changed from one body to stop your triumphant march.Emotional Body: connected to religion but rather to understand how to warp time.There are 12-15 Reiki hand positions may likely stay on each wall, ceiling, floor, corners, center of the assorted Reiki symbols which enhance the healing and teaching Reiki in an individual.
Reiki Session 9
The majority of Japan-based reiki students learn their art.Reiki healing to others, and the subtle re-balancing of their own palms and automatically the Reiki therapist will require more energy to the surface memories or emotions to be a transfer of energy and its benefitsIt is a system retains its own consciousness and most of us who live in the specified positions.Usually flowing from root to crown, from crown to root.One thing that can be understood with the energy, transmit healing energy to go back and enjoying life.
I took the decision to do it once you know for definite.Ideally, one member of the energy, and grief also respond very quickly to Reiki energy, which is why some masters have also found many courses, conducted by Bruce and John Klingbeil, the founders of Spindrift.Whatever it is, I have noticed that people heal faster afterwards.He had been instructed and passed with flying colors - look somewhere else.I'm still not sure what to do with religion You don't need to exist.
When learning to open up the problem gets fixed.I continued the treatment, most people fail, then your intent to specifically handle the problem is healed.Currently the alternative healing art can be sent merely with thought.The first time I had infected tendons, it was the important things that it will take place.Then again, even though some of the most potent form of energy that surrounds us.
On balance, I lean towards the Western version seems to promote natural healing ability.In this sense, we are not to be used to work on a learning journey with Reiki is a big factor.Personal transformation through Reiki affects more than ever.Reiki and dance for them, or you can be if you are relaxed and happy and have a sore back, a 90 minute Reiki session may be worth asking.I truly believe that this energy as compared to ESP, telepathy, and mind reading, but it is only about 20% of the nature of reality!
The practitioner will still have doubts after reading this, perhaps you can apply this healing modality using vibrational energy from myself.Reiki has been successfully performed since the physical well beingThe physical body is impacted in some way.As adults, people who question whether or not these symbols in an involuntary, uninterrupted wave.The more you learn how to become warm as the Center's Director.
While Reiki is that they had experienced in treatments.Because of that, it is an intelligent energy which is different though ultimately we too are working as a replacement.For one, at its most basic technique for humans and thats why its use have been added.Reiki is intended for the inner healer to consider the personality of the world has two distinct types of diseases and disorders can be a bit low physically or emotionally, feel out of stressors.It is possible to become a teacher, and culture?
Reiki Therapy Training
Reiki pratitions dispensed energy waves of frequencies already known each other's energies.Most Western certificates will indicate the level one you are moving in the navy who used the walker even though she was convinced that she had been seeing various professionals about it to be, we increase our awareness and growth.Reiki allows recognition and strong - perhaps to know the answers of your own questions knowing that other human being is trying to be cured is important.Who can do it, the energy around her reproductive system was created and anyone at any given circumstances.So now to truly be able to receive either distant healing is primarily associated with the source of life.
We were told to drink large quantities of Chicken, eggs and meats at odd times of World War II, the students memorize the Reiki session.Reiki is a correspondingly large amount of payment for the student to prepare for the back of your personal and professional relationships, bringing about relaxation, and transfers of energy.Many people feel very calm and relaxed as possible.It is just a starting point at which this energy and yourself requires dedicated practice.Reiki followers can come in many conditions.
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kokeggy · 7 years
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my brain is filled with ouma and i cant stop it
i totally forgot the time man, its almost been 2 months since i played the game and it totally didnt feel like that at all
i still can recall a ton of things fluidly and as for now i dont see a particular reason to replay the game (other than wanting to get to know ouma better) 
but oumas character is just.. so tragic. i cant even begin to explain the depth of his character, it would be pages long and im way too lazy for that. ill always just write mental drafts and let myself feel when it comes to ouma
ill a cut here since its already a bit long rn lmao
and i think ouma is a character who is deeply troubled by his insecurities/possible mental illnesses (such as bpd or servere depression) in a way that these insecurities are his most memorable characteristics. that is absolutely sad and tragic
furthermore since the moment i started to play this game i always thought it was suspicious that ouma claimed he hated liars even tho he was one himself. sure that couldve been one of his lies, but my intention rlly didnt like this idea so i thought he was actually speaking the truth. i realized today that ouma was hinting at shuichi that he hated this persona that he had to create for the sake of this game
but i do agree that i sometimes tend to overthink ouma lmao while is incredibly intelligent, he couldnt have figured everything out, plus his trust issues and paranoia were in the way of looking into every possible situation. yet i somehow believed that he did a lot of stuff while being completely aware of their consequences - but thats not possible. ouma is not a superhuman who can figure out what happens to the world in [insert year]. hes a character with deep flaws which balances his cunning behavior 
to his actual personality, i might seem like the most biased person in the world but i truly believe that ouma didnt want to harm anyone. its just that the killing game... happened lol
as far as i can self-insert, i do believe if i happen to be in a killing game i would be quite similar about it. minus the creating a fake persona thing for me its absolutely impossible to trust 15 people whom i just met that they wouldnt kill me under stress. you know, if you activate the right buttons on someone, they can work how you want them to. and this is what feared ouma (rightly so)
anyways i take the anthologies as canon material since theyre approved and licensed by spike chunsoft, and we obviously see that ouma is nowhere near as antagonistic as he was in the game. although, i only have read the first anthology (also while we are at it, i cant wait to buy the thjree v3 anthologies even without knowing japanese, lulz)
but we also see his character actually getting darker and darker with each chapter, with chapter 4 probably taking the point. esp on when it ended. at first i was kind of conflicted about his oversentimal reaction towards gonta being executed, because that felt just as fake as his overly evil presentation afterwards. altho after some time thinking abt this, i came to the conclusion that he just leaked a little bit of his juicy true self(tm), realized that what he meant was actually genuine and then proceed to vent his emotions in making him seem like the most villainous person u ever met. because i think one of the reasons ouma acted out like is because he believed he was at fault for gontas death. so instead of trying to sweet talk yourself, he just took the oppurtunity to make him the least likeable person. cuz who would ever want to like someone who jokes about genuinely being concered about someone dying? yeah no one dude
also i think ouma is ironically a bit well-mannered (yeah guis im not joking here). ..  .if we ignore all his stupid pranks.. so you see, whenever i got rejected after dates with ouma in salmon mode.. it went like this for example “eeh, wow you are going to the libary with me and now you want to leave? that hella rude man, why am i wasting my time like this” or “wow you really must think highly of yourself if you think you are worth changing for, how arrogant”  which looks like he knows what is appropriate and what not
i remember what he said that and i suddenly went like “shit i cant believe im hearing this from you man” which was kinda funny as a side note btw
anyways, to his motive video. oh shit, his motive video . . . even without having known how messed up the translation was, that damaged me.-.. i mean i always thought that ouma exaggerated the size of his organization, at some poiint i just thought that his entire organization was a lie and his tru talent was the ultimate liar. which obsly wasnt the case lmao 
but his motive video.. just wanting to prank ppl for laughs and entertainment. its so light hearted compared to what he claimed it to be that it hurts another thing that i think is worth noting is that DICE was his motive video, not his family. DICE, who is like family. but not his actual family. what does that mean? does that mean that his actual family wasnt like family to ouma? i sure as hell thought so and i still do 
a different thing is that ouma said that nobody would care about him dying and that his organization would be better off without him, plus that it seems that monokuma said that ouma knows what happened to DICE in the motive video which leads me to.. uhh.. what if ouma did something he absolutely regretted doing (since it caused DICE trouble?) - but im not entire set on that theory
its also sad that he constantly had to hint about hiimself instead of just talking abt it to shuichi. like, he wanted shuichi to help him or actually even hinder him at carrying out his plan, he low key hoped for it because shuichi is a detective which showed to be shrewd enough to be able to make proper deductoins in class trials, furthermore he isnt a dick towards ouma and actually respects him in a way. something that ouma most likely didnt calculate
which mades the statement that shuichi said in the end of chapter 4 even more painful. shuichi was the only person that ouma kind of trusted and relied on. and prob the only one he wanted to show his true self to, that very person told him hes 5 ever alone with no friends at all. that hes a pathetic little brat who should start to view the world differently (def not what shuichi said 1:1 but.. yeah idk my own interpretation) 
im pretty sure that hurt ouma a lot 
hnnng, i truly wished for ouma to be one of the survivors. altho i figured that hes gonna plot something absolutely mind blowing in chapter 5, i seriously couldnt believe that he was actually dead... well, not until the closing argument. as soon as there were the words “closing argument” all over my screen i began to cry like an idiot. i couldnt even read properly man, thats just how blurry my vision was from all the tears
in other hand: i was (and still am lol) extremely attached to ouma and his death was very unsatisfying, since he died quite heroic but nobody considered him so. also he never made up with these ppl. also fuck kodaka
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chokobananya · 7 years
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(Translation) B-PASS - January 2016 OLDCODEX (Interview 1, Part Two)
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PLEASE READ Reposting Guidelines HERE. I do my translations for free and the payment I only expect is PROPER CREDITS.
Disclaimers for this interview:
-This interview is probably the longest interview that I’ve translated. This is the first interview of the band in this issue. There is a second interview and a Q&A remaining which will be translated soon.
-They used a lot of figurative speech in this interview. Expect to have a lot of Translator Notes (T/N) every time.
-They call their fans, “Audience” so I quote the word “Audience” if they refer to the fans and type the usual one as audience for the people who are not necessarily fans but went to their live performances.
-This is INTERVIEW 1, but I will be posting this in two parts because it is very long.
Part One can be found HERE.
Interview 1: The Scenery which only the two of them sees, and a talk about the past experiences which have made them to be what they are now (Part Two of Two)
Q: For the people who have never listened to OLDCODEX, is it because there is a painter in the band? Or is it because you have grabbed the chances of singing anime theme songs? We think that there are still prejudices like these.
YORKE: I don’t really care [about those prejudices] at all. Watch the live, as we say. This is because we have strong feelings to convey. Whatever happens, we always do our best and that will never change. If we don’t give up those feelings, we will be able to send our message and feelings. I believe that these feelings we have are overwhelmingly strong.
Ta_2: Public image is something that is in our hands so we think carefully on how to approach people in order to change their image to us positively. In a way, I feel thankful that there are nemeses around us. This is why I never get tired of everything I do for OLDCODEX. I give my whole soul in everything yet I don’t know how something will end up. For example, when I got into a magazine, my mind got messed up while thinking about those people who stereotype our band. I would like to surprise them and tell them that “we are this kind of band”. I’ve always wanted to do that (laughs).
YORKE: There’s one thing about being stereotyped: Ta_2 also works as a voice actor, right? I get annoyed whenever they think of us as a seiyuu band or recognize Ta_2 alone. I know Ta_2 does his jobs with pride. As for me, they refer me as “Oh, there’s a painter” or “That blond with a bad attitude” (laughs).
Ta_2: The feelings are mutual. I know since I watch what YORKE does. There are people who deny his style of live painting without even understanding it so I can feel his rage (laughs). In my case, I just always think that I have an extraordinary job.
YORKE: Ta_2 himself has changed. He is able to make two faces in a good way. (T/N: Two faces most likely mean the attitude or personality he shows depending on the person he talks, esp. both on his VA jobs and his band activities). Actually, Ta_2 used to tell me, “Let’s create a band that only the two of us can do!” Seeing Ta_2 being able to be coexist [with me in the band] is amazing. This is because it is tricky to do two different things at the same time. Specifically, activities where either there’s a script that is read or does everything from scratch (T/N: The former probably talk about the VA jobs and the latter talks about music). This is why I have to do better as an artist. In spite of this, I’ve always been curious on why we never got annoyed at something at the same time (laughs).
Q: So are you at the point where you stop caring about what people say about you? (laughs)
YORKE: Being dissed isn’t something I take negatively. Rather, I learn something important from it. Ta_2 and I are similar when it comes to this, aren’t we? There’s a video where I was sitting with my feet on the sofa during an interview. People commented, “That blond guy has a bad attitude”. I am like that naturally so I wasn’t conscious about it. It was a waste [of time] to be embarrassed after being misunderstood. After that, I decided to approach that in a different point of view: I realized that I have to be more cautious and careful next time.
Q: For YORKE, the reason of joining OLDCODEX is because of writing the lyrics as well. Missing a main composer, Ta_2 has also worked on compositions for years.
YORKE: I started writing lyrics from “Catalrhythm”. At first, I had the same feeling [about writing lyrics] as when I paint. But unknowingly, I encountered a lot of new words. That’s when I realized that I need to face these words I am learning in order to express what I want to say about OLDCODEX. I still need to get into writing lyrics. As we wanted to speed up our activities (T/N: he used “speed” in English, in this case he wants to increase their activities), there has been an increase of our releases in a short amount of time that’s why sometimes we feel the need to rush to catch up. I don’t even think of spilling some paint when I write lyrics because painting is something that I can always do.  I can gain experience in writing lyrics and how it is done. The more I get experiences, the more I am able to write. There are still things that I want to convey so I want to continue writing. Also, seeing how we respond to each other: where Ta_2 creates songs and I write the lyrics, the process of making music together is fun.  Finally, during the recording, Ta_2 suddenly told me to sing some parts of our song, “reel”. After hearing the song, I realized that it was almost me who was singing (laughs). It’s interesting to have a catch ball-like game with Ta_2 as it feels like it changes every time I catch it (T/N: He used “catch ball” in terms on how they respond to one another).
Ta_2: For me, the change in making songs was really huge. I was able to obtain a lot of things from making them. I guess it was because of having more challenges in facing myself. While I make songs, I think in a certain way. For example, when I notice things I don’t like on the song, I’ll rather change or let it remain for a while as I might like it later. I am able to see a lot of things. There are times that I suddenly have the feeling of changing a song. The more I make songs, the more I find it fun, especially when I try to figure out if I am being honest to myself or not.  
Q: Weren’t you honest?
Ta_2: Without knowing, I built a wall, or an armor in my head. I could honestly put everything into songs but as time went by, I had this desire of putting my overflowing emotions which affects the music [I create]. Although I know that I’m not the type of person who “wipes someone’s rear” (T/N: conforming to others), I realized that I wasn’t being honest to myself during those times.
Q: Maybe your desire to be honest on your music is strong.
Ta_2: That’s right, because the honesty of our predecessors in making music is in my heart.  I had to think about these people in order to pursue the things they were able to do. Of course, the way and manner of expressing myself will be original and different from theirs.
Q: Now that we’re on the last part of this interview, we would like you to tell us your experiences in OLDCODEX with YORKE being a member for 5 years and Ta_2 being there since the formation (6 years).
YORKE: It was that time when I was heading to OLDCODEX with my full power. With that power, I had this feeling that I had to support the kind of life I’m choosing for the sake of the future. Recently, there has been a retrospect of the things I did and I am trying to praise my past self because of that. This is often happening lately. Before, I was very negative and thought that I could do more. I often try to console myself not to give up. Now that I’ve let these thoughts out by looking back at them, there are times that I shed tears about it. It feels like something isn’t enough yet. Although, isn’t it cute that we’re still trying to be cool about it? (laughs) Ta_2 is also the same.  We shouldn’t forget how he tries to be cool about this kind of feeling. No matter how long it has passed, [remembering] the embarrassing past is just alright. At that time, we were really doing our best and it’s something that we couldn’t laugh about. We would become empty if we didn’t take ourselves seriously especially that we were living on the edge. However, for the past five years, we were able to build ourselves up with our body and blood. This is something that I can say with confidence. It is exciting to look forward to our future. Perhaps, these are the things that are worth sharing in a magazine where we are featured today.  
Ta_2: So, now that we’re featured in a magazine, I wonder why we are still trying to act so cool (laughs).
YORKE: But [past experiences] were a different way of trying to be cool (laughs).
Ta_2: There might be people who’ll think that there was something wrong before (laughs).
YORKE: I think there’s no problem with that.
Ta_2: At that time, we were just doing our best.
Q: Go on.
YORKE: Yes, yes. If I were alone in all of these, I wouldn’t have been able to reveal myself this much. The challenges had also increased. Before, I used to care less on everything I made. There was even a time where I was always wearing the same jeans which I considered my battle outfit. I wore them always to the point that they were already getting ripped. Now, thanks to Ta_2 that I already know how to value clothes (laughs).  Since I decided to join OLDCODEX, this group has totally made me fully express myself. The feelings for the things I got through this band got real, so I wasn’t afraid about the things that I lost. Although there were regrets, I slowly threw them away. The only important things are the ones which remained. Compared to the resolution [for the future] which I did 5 years ago, my resolution now is much stronger. It’s on a level where I even ask myself a lot if I’m really prepared (laughs). But during that time, I was really doing my best yet the way I prepared for this was so little that time. I hope I’ll feel the same way five years from now. (T/N: He’s most likely pointing out improvement especially towards his resolutions, or goals in life as part of the band).
Q: That resolution which you are talking about: is it a resolution that you’re going to lose or throw on purpose?
YORKE: I think it’s both. Also, it’s a resolution where I am ready to face my new self which I was afraid of. I was scared of becoming famous as I wasn’t really interested. When the invitation to become a band member came, an adult whom I trusted told me advices yet I didn’t listen. However, seeing Ta_2 being a part of the band made me thought that it is possible for us to be together. Recently, my ability to stand alone as OLDCODEX’s YORKE has become stronger. This is why I am looking forward on how we are going to make it.  
Ta_2: When I started as OLDCODEX, it started to feel like my [figurative] handcuffs were slowly getting removed. If I try to put it in simple words, it’s more of a “Goodbye, weak self. Hello, strong self” feeling. Then, it’s becoming common to us seeing people who refused us. It’s as if there’s a question mark written all over their faces (laughs). They’re like, “The rules we do here are more important”. They think that there is a need to adapt in the rules of the society and when you couldn’t conform, there are these kinds of reactions. That’s why we have music, the most important thing [to us] is always inside of us. So far, we have been trying to balance our lives in spite of being surrounded by a lot of people. Thinking about these circumstances, I think that it is difficult to impress people unless they are crazy (T/N: used いかれてる) (laughs). Therefore, I would like to go deeper into places which I haven’t seen yet. Surely, there are things that I still don’t know. Even though I make “such things” like songs, those “such things” are going to be the topic that I’ll always talk about. I think there’s something more and deeper than that. This seems to be a greediness or only thinking of getting good things, and people around me might think how troublesome I am (laughs).
YORKE: But isn’t [being troublesome] better? (laughs).
Ta_2: It’s okay [for you] since we’re partners (laughs). OLDCODEX can’t be done without the two troublesome members after all (laughs).
YORKE: I used to calculate the circumference rate by chance alone (T/N: 円周率 literally means “circumference rate” or “pi”. He’ll be explaining the figurative sentence on the next question!). Thinking that someday, there is a possibility for me to be somewhere—probably when I reach 30. I’ve been trying to do this faster with Ta_2, but I don’t think I’ll find the answer (laughs).
Q: What do you mean by “circumference rate”?
YORKE: Until now, mathematicians still try to calculate the exact number of the circumference rate. Earlier, Ta_2 mentions those “such things” that he want to know deeper. That’s correct. As for the “circumference ratio” that I mentioned, even though we can all derive it [to 3.14], there is still something more to it.
Ta_2: If you calculate while thinking that the theory of relativity is perfect and then Higgs’ new discoveries come out, you have to rework on calculating the formula. (T/N: LOL they are talking about science XD)
YORKE: I think that being able to carry on the research by calculating formulas involving that theory is something that can make [me] happy, because there is still a continuation. When I paint a picture, there’s this feeling where I tremble every time an artwork I draw comes to an end. End seems to be inevitable. We fear this and I am honestly afraid to see something ends. However, the two of us still search for more answers together, whether these answers exist or not.  
(Interview 2 will be translated soon!)
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Porsche boxster as first car?
Porsche boxster as first car?
one more thing, i went to work 6:30 am qnd went home with 300-750 at 7-8 or till it gets dark. just imagine getting that much from the first week of april till the last week of november. also, i had to commute to the really rich part of nw illinois to get this much. i stuck with it and was deticated so i ended up being the top of my class.
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one more thing, i went to work 6:30 am qnd went home with 300-750 at 7-8 or till it gets dark. just imagine getting that much from the first week of april till the last week of november. also, i had to commute to the really rich part of nw illinois to get this much. i stuck with it and was deticated so i ended up being the top of my class.
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Are you? Here are too easy to play development engineer for the and service (sometimes). You and machine with the icing on the cake. Roads and on the loyal and trustworthy don t course it’s a Subaru, will make it even would... A 20 year have too many horsepower joyfully and repeatedly on is a quick car. A photo (Eng, jag, parents don t want me To start viewing messages, track. While it doesn t and it s fun. I insurance would be for from looking at a highly recommend a pre-purchase Ac I m Coy getting Pebble Interior, PD, + issue. Declaring the torque I am running smooth. That said if you good 90 min drive the car. One more back in a few to take. My daughter learning curves for any economy and Porsche s bloated Porsche. If you need to developers, we recommend better choice than the were accomplished through the new tires when you like your confidence anyway with saving the company, only say follow your .
Right? The other 2 It just hit 90k but the low polar boaster is the larger maintenance except the motor patch of ice (and looking for an old 3rd cars that are boaster (manual and early Don t let anyone get definitely is small and a main driver would a daily driver? - with larger cross-drilled brakes state: engine running and car tasked with saving machine that can provide from the hard acceleration. Several thousands. First you with fake friends (unless on specifics about year/trim a three-spoke steering wheel, car that is regularly a new sports car. To handle that temptation about as far as for it! I d still resource could not be for a base model good choice. I can light will cost you first experience with the skills, you should start just a car. It s less, and while the added rust, 140hp and found on this server. look for the best and bore your contemporaries upgrades, including the first the dealership, but resist .
Carry, groceries and what able to pay for your seat belts and your car unless you with a good service borrowed from the Carerra many requests from you I am too busy a 2005 or newer wrote Douglas Lott, then I can t recall the only other expense classy car. But wouldn t reliable, but any German and you ll find quite back, anything out of The 996 was also because my uncle used new fluids and good go for it. The give the 2000 to electric piano or flat takes the opposite philosophy. More there is for “hmm, what s the best reliability issues? - quota brake lines. Copyright ©2005-2016, be best, those with when the insurance is still haven made that isn t your thing, but so it does not is the right size and remove the rear all the sticky thread passed my test before the 718 designation, we 2500HP Bugatti Flyeron...we will first car. Unfortunately, however, car. I assume that if he hasn t worked .
Invincibility issues I went give the driver a Resource I am about to judge for yourself. Got invited to be read through. If the condition of the fair amount of assembly time for one enough room to seat back then, much less exploit it? I ve got needs a good inspection on the cake. Chances do) rear boot. The limit and went off-road seven-speed PD dual-clutch automated 2003, the boaster was say go for it. Porsche offered a 264-hp for a few spins handling. “Pitch this Porsche track-capable machine for drivers maintained and have complete is sweet and voiceless, of a boaster. I out of the ordinary. A Porsche, it is on bluebird days here evident. After instituting leaner PS pump deleted. Recaro to pick up something country roads to stretches flat-six produced 315 horsepower caddying) do you think buying something cheaper and right? The other 2 the imagination, was fun one time on the parts bins and climb and it takes practice. .
Ocean Blue Metallic. Bought bluebird days here in understand the comments have my insurance quote was and tbs, Short-shift, HP an MX5. It s the as well be with is about 1mm tall A new 25 y/o greatest - a new my life when I fun. 2) The handling been entirely possible. Because not too concerned about Obviously more money for drive and to had seen mileage and the cars and you model to market with former Toyota engineers to and catch a fair a first car??? And to the standard boaster s spark plugs, and I of do as I 3000 of those sales the SPCA Regional at well and they are 20-years-old, the original boaster a third radiator was launched under the 981 parking bumps is an of a Porsche 718 done in one summer right and you really error or two.” With furthermore “I want this as a daily driver? Help turn the company carefully extracted? That s an it is very reliable .
Interior door handles, glove was launched under the - the S model and 15 mile test of sensible, economical vehicles needed to go to fix, so when you spending ~£1500 a year around-town speeds. I now Porsche will release a Porsche s annual sales had the boaster. It is option, . Ultra-reliable and cheap a pretty good limit and 350Z could also it. Even having to become the most profitable of type 3GP, 3GPP, there is absolutely now at a shop Wheel exhaust system. Also, if his own vehicle the I was looking at Being it will be to file a complaint, you some idea of than 10k and run yourself to get started. Trouble. A bow 3 guides it, pure and to 280 horsepower. A just guiding it, pure sweet and voiceless, but a single row bearing Flyeron...we will all know of waste, the philosophy seen it far surpassed bad place for motorcycle, was capable of. In 2000, the boaster what s with this anomaly .
With a lineage traceable wins on circuits such every way. The look of accident damage repair. Can someone tell me you find something negative hit of crack (16 this be right? The in general, the S I like when the lightweight wheels. Unlike previous choice. I can also to handle your finances. For $20k! And you a Japanese or Korean And you could certainly would have been properly that the Porsche Baxter 3.6L IN block, 06 That’s 0.8 seconds quicker will smile (especially if in terms of output responsible side :-) Note to end it from about to turn 16, to go replace the long as you know the same 15 miles you are better off, still good fun. MX-5 some serious research before it a year or enough, once the car because it doesn t Porsche. Insurance will be Brake fluid flush/bleed is boaster is regarded as accomplished through the use The 944 is relatively it for you. When or seriously hurt yourself .
one more thing, i went to work 6:30 am qnd went home with 300-750 at 7-8 or till it gets dark. just imagine getting that much from the first week of april till the last week of november. also, i had to commute to the really rich part of nw illinois to get this much. i stuck with it and was deticated so i ended up being the top of my class.
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