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mbti-notes · 1 year

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Anon wrote: Hi! I hope you're doing fine. I have a question about a neighbor that is most likely ENTP. He is almost 60 yo and he's been living alone since his mother died 10 years ago. He wasn't getting along that well with her but after that happened he changed a lot. He used to work as a driving instructor and made legal and illegal a lot of money and was always fighting with his brother because he despised how much he was drinking. After all of them died he started drinking a lot, and he left his job

because he couldn't drive anymore. As a person, he is pretty optimistic and funny but sometimes has this hopeless demeanor. He also sees many possibilities and has the most unexpected ideas. Apart from that he doesn't take care of himself at all even if he has the money and he also got sick from drinking so much. He also helped many people with money but because he had faith in a few nasty ones, he has some processes going on and I don t think it will end soon. The situation is upsetting him.

My father tried to talk with him a few times to make him take care of himself but that phase doesn't take more than 1-2 days. Is there something my father (ISTP) can tell him to help him realize how serious the situation is? I think he'll die in max 2 years if he doesn't stop drinking. The only thing that makes him happy is his 3 horses. My father tried with "You should take care of yourself so you can take care of the horses" but the result was the same.

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It's hard to watch someone deteriorate before your eyes. The aging process can be very challenging for some people. We all accumulate experience as we age, but we don't all respond to those experiences the same way, and some of us are unlucky to be exposed to too many negative or traumatic experiences that are difficult to get over. There may be several issues that need addressing:

1) Purpose: Perhaps he's never had a stable and reliable source of personal meaning to ground his life. Lack of personal grounding is a common problem for extraverts with underdeveloped introverted functions. (It is a more common problem for EPs than EJs because EJs are, on average, more motivated to make themselves useful to the world and more easily distracted with busywork. It is a more common problem for ENPs than ESPs because ESPs are, on average, better at enjoying life. It is a more common problem for ENTPs than ENFPs because the impersonal nature of Ti isn't as amenable to generating personal meaning as Fi.)

There are many methods of grounding oneself and a good method also grants you some sense of purpose. For many people, especially Fe types, purpose can be derived through feeling responsible for another person. Although he didn't get on well with his family, it's likely their existence in his life granted him opportunities to be useful and productive, through caring about them or managing their affairs.

While many people do feel more grounded by caring for plants or animals, that can't really compare to a relationship with a mother, brother, spouse, or child. The death of a parent is especially difficult because, regardless of age or the quality of the relationship, parents are the archetypal representation of safety and security. Suddenly losing that existential grounding can make one feel quite lonely or unmoored, which could easily trigger Si grip in ENTPs.

Perhaps the only source of grounding he has had in life was his family, but it was an external source and now it's gone. The danger of relying only on external sources of meaning is that they can be taken away from you, and in the worst case scenario, without any warning. Your will to live is thereby easily disrupted because you lack the motivation to live for yourself, for the sake of your own well-being. No matter what type you are, it is ultimately in your best interests to make sure that your introverted functions are well-developed enough to generate meaning from within as well.

Of the four introverted functions, Ti is probably the hardest one to use for grounding. When ENTPs aren't in a good place emotionally, they tend to misuse Ti to rationalize their unhealthy behavior. This keeps them stuck and more susceptible to Si grip problems that damage physical and mental health even more. The longer they stay stuck in a rut of unhealthy routines, the more they lose hope of ever getting out. The "hopeless demeanor" is likely a symptom of this decline into Si grip.

Ideally, ENTPs should use Ne+Ti purposefully to do things such as: imagine ways to make life more interesting; uncover problems and solutions that help make the world around them a better place; generate curiosity for learning about new experiences; generate motivation to keep moving forward to greener pastures; etc. When ENTPs learn to make purposeful use of their knowledge and skills, they'll know their own value, and they'll feel more connected to life.

Maybe he can't do the job he did before, but that doesn't mean there isn't meaningful work for him out there. Many people near or of retirement age do part-time work or volunteer work to keep themselves active, engaged, and generating meaningful experiences. At that age, people start to feel a natural desire to contribute their knowledge and wisdom back to society. If loneliness is also a serious concern, you or your dad could help set him up with socializing opportunities or accompany him to get more involved in the community, then he has less time to brood and drink. In order for people to give up bad habits and routines, they have to develop some healthy habits and routines as a replacement.

2) Addiction: Substance abuse usually develops when people use substances to distract from deep-seated emotional problems. Being disconnected from emotional life is very dangerous because feelings and emotions are the tools of self-care. Pain is a signal that something is wrong, so making yourself deaf to emotional pain means you're not addressing the psychological imbalances that the pain is calling your attention to. The more deaf you become, the more likely you are to hurt yourself and not even realize the extent of the harm being done.

Unfortunately, the way psychology works is that you don't get to pick and choose what you feel. By trying to detach from negative emotions, you also lose the ability to feel positive ones. Eventually, you get cut off from all feeling and become numb. When you are no longer capable of feeling things like pleasure, enjoyment, happiness, wonder, or awe for any sustained period of time, you have little choice but to repeatedly reach for immediate comforts, gradually losing the will to engage with new experiences in the world.

Only he can tell you what kind of emotional baggage he's struggling with. Perhaps he hasn't dealt with the grief of losing the people closest to him. Perhaps he suffers from shame or low self-esteem because his life didn't turn out the way he had hoped. Perhaps he is depressed because life feels too boring/empty and he doesn't know what to do about it.

These kinds of problems aren't easy to address alone. It would be best for him to see a professional and get to the bottom of the drinking problem. Of course, he has to want to be helped. Beware that, if someone is intent on avoiding a problem, trying again and again to impress upon them how "serious" it is might actually make them avoid it even harder.

3) Stress: Chronic stress is also a significant contributor to addiction. A major source of stress in many people's lives is money. You say he's financially secure but he's embroiled in various conflicts with people related to money? If there is any way to remove those problems from his life more quickly, he should do so. If he isn't able to think of better ways to handle his problems, he can at least talk to people with more knowledge and expertise, such as lawyers. That way, he doesn't have to micromanage every step of the process himself. If being unable to cope with stress is a serious problem for him in general, it would benefit him to go to therapy to learn better coping strategies, or at least educate himself about how to maintain better mental health.

#entp #auxiliary ti #si grip #addiction #loneliness #depression #stress #mental health #purpose #meaning of life #aging #ask

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eldestfisher · 11 months

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conrad is the first-born child of adam and susannah fisher, and jeremiah’s older brother. the couple raised their children in new york, but every summer they visited cousins beach in massachusetts with their mother’s best friend laurel and her two children, steven and belly. despite being a few years older than the others, conrad had no problem hanging out with the group and even considered them family.

unlike his younger brother, conrad is known to be the silent, brooding and deep type. he’s an introvert and isn’t really outspoken. he rarely speaks, keeping most of his thoughts to himself. he tends to push away his loved ones which is why he can come off as an “asshole” at times. deep down he’s very vulnerable and despite sometimes hurting his loved ones unintentionally, his true intentions are to look out for those he cares about. willing to do whatever it takes to make them happy, even if that means putting his own feelings on the backburner.

he had a lot going for him when he entered high school. he was participating in sports and getting fairly good grades, but he gave up football after his senior year because it got “boring”, but really he quit because adam loved his success in the sport and at this point conrad knew about his father’s mistreatment towards his mother and wanted to distance himself from adam as much as possible.

in season 1, it’s obvious to everyone around that something is different about conrad. he’s different. sad. that’s because he found out that the cancer his mother fought years ago had made its return, but she wanted to keep it a secret. and so for the entirety of the season conrad keeps it to himself, allowing himself to suffer so that his brother, laurel, belly and steven didn’t have to. eventually, jeremiah and the rest of them find out and the season ends with them preparing for susannah’s potential passing.

season 2 only has 3 eps out right now, but it takes place a year later during the summer. susannah did pass away and so everyone is grieving and learning to move on without her there. it’s been especially hard for conrad who has always felt responsible for taking care of his family and feels like everything is slowly being ripped away. his mother, his relationship with jeremiah, and their home in cousins beach that is being put up for sell by an aunt of theirs who hasn’t been involved in their lives for years. the season is focused on everyone trying to save susannah’s home, but we’ll see how that plays out.

#INFO DUMP.#ABT.#parent death tw #cancer mention tw #for those who don't know anything <3 #asjdfgkh

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what-is-originality · 2 years

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thoughts on House of the Dragon ep. 2, from a casual fan.

OK, this is by no means a groundbreaking opinion, but I'm definitely very sympathetic towards Alicent Hightower atm because I do feel like she's being used as a pawn by her father & I don't think she's relishing in the spectacle at all, especially considering the fallout with Rhaenyra that’s bound to follow.

I think by ep. 3 she'll have grown into herself more as a character, and will be a little less anxious since she'll have more agency as the Queen/mother of Viserys' heirs and will hopefully have some say against her father, too. Naturally, being at odds with Rhaenyra & having children of her own will create a *huge* rift between them as she'll eventually have to put the interests of her family above their friendship and will grow into more of a scheme-y character like her father, but I can't really begrudge her that – after all, there's no going back from fucking your best friend's dad lol.

I think the breakdown of R & A's homoerotic friendship is so interesting too because it adds an additional layer of complexity to the story by fleshing out her character’s background a bit more and making her more than just an 'evil stepmother' trope.

Like, the first two episodes have made it apparent that she’s being groomed by her father and, as a result, is essentially being moulded into a villain by Otto (who’s aided of course by the show’s contemporary political climate which sets a precedent for women – girls, really – to be used as bargaining chips by way of marriage and for men to seek honour and glory as cannon fodder soldiers etc.) because he’s essentially tying her hands by making her ingratiate herself to Viserys, regardless of all of the interpersonal fallout it will result in.

Inevitably, as her brood grows, Alicent’ will want to protect her family/line by any means necessary, even if it means committing horrific acts and going against her former best friend to secure her bloodline. I definitely think it will get to a boiling point where something happens that’s potentially so extreme that there’ll be no going back for the two because should they "wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o'er".

On the other hand, I don't think she'll be entirely 'innocent' by the time the conflict between the 'Greens' and the 'Blacks' is well underway, because she'll get a taste of the power she never had before her betrothal & lose sight of the parts of herself she'd been manipulated as a child into believing were weak.

Now, I don't think she'll be so blinded by power that she won't be aware that some of the things she'll do are outright wrong, but she'll do them anyway to keep herself from being as powerless as she once was or even just to stick it to Rhaenrys out of spite, which is always a motivator. Either way, I'd love to see some regretful scenes with the two at some point, maybe a lingering glance between the two (or even just a pause when one finds a trinket that the other had gifted them in childhood, something like that) that conveys that they're both sad about how things turned out and wish they could turn back the hands of time but ultimately know that it’s too late to change it now.

[* = As stated in the title, I am just a casual fan of both shows. I haven’t rewatched GoT since it ended and I only got up to A Storm of Swords in the asoiaf series. I have not read Fire & Blood past the stories of King Aegon I, though I do have some knowledge what will happen in the story, so this is essentially a blind opinion on the story so far as depicted by the show. However, I do have a soft spot for characters that are deeply hated by fans, especially female characters, so this tweet essentially sums the post up:

#hotd #house of the dragon #house of the dragon spoilers #hotd spoilers #thoughts #alicent hightower #have a nice day! :)#my post #why is the screenshot so big?#it looks gigantic on my pc lmao

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jemmo · 2 years

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i am looking directly at 3 & 11

eeeeeeek these are some of my faves, and ideas that have been festering in my brain for so so long 😁😁

3. barre buddies (ballet au)

this one is still very much in the planning phase but i have high hopes for it bc this is probably the biggest passion project i’ve ever undertaken. here’s just a bit of some kind of blurb i wrote to set the scene:

Pran had been in love with dance since he was a child. Something about being able to express without having to use words, it appealed to him. From before he could remember, he was spinning around in his living room, absorbing any bit of ballet content he could get his hands on, and begging his mom to find a class to take him to. She, course, disapproved initially. Naturally, she would’ve preferred if he concentrated on his studies so he could get a steady job and a secure future, but then when he was 6, she attended his first ballet recital, and the teacher took her to the side to go on about all the promise he had, how far he could go. Pran was never exactly sure why, but that seemed to change something in her, because from then on, she was so attentive and so encouraging about his dance, and before long it became a dream they shared, Pran becoming a star. He was in ballet lessons twice a week from the age of 7, and never even considered looking back, no matter the amount of snide sniggering from kids at his school about boys in tights and girly tutus. He was content with having no friends, coasting by. After all, one day he was going to be the principal dancer at one of the world’s most prestigious ballet companies, and no amount of shame or set-backs we’re going to stop him. At least, that’s what he thought when he was 7, but life didn’t always work out the way you dreamt it.

Pat hadn’t been born with a love of dance. Instead, he was born into a feud, into a competition he didn’t sign up for. Along with walking and talking, one of the first things he was taught was that that kid across the road, that was his enemy, his nemesis, someone he had to beat. So when his dad overheard prans mom chatting with friends about how their son was a dance prodigy, pat was in lessons the next day. The two boys glared at each other until pat was asked to pirouette and got his legs twisted, landing flat on his butt. Clearly, dance didn’t come easy to everyone. He had to push through recitals bounding across the stage like an elephant while pran got all these elegant solos, and he so wanted to resent him, to discount his talent like his father did, but when pat had to sit there on the sidelines watching pran perform, he couldn’t help it. He just thought he was amazing.

11. the very noble mission to see pran shirtless

this i started writing during ep 8 I think (yes it’s been that long, yes im that bad at getting fics done) so here’s a snippet:

Pat commenced phase one of his plan the day after he cemented his resolution. Look, he was an impatient guy; when he had something in his head, he just had to do it. So that evening, while Pran was busy preparing dinner, and by preparing he meant taking their take out out of the containers and putting them on plates, because ‘I might be lazy but I’m not a heathen’ Pran had said, Pat slipped into Pran’s room where the thermostat for the air conditioning was and set it to off. You see, Pran was very particular about the temperature of his room, he liked to be comfortable, especially during the sticky heat at the height of summer. So Pat figured, if the air conditioning was off, Pran might be a little uncomfortable in his usual layers, maybe even tempted to shed them.

He couldn’t hide his mischievous grin as he walked back out to the kitchen area, sliding into one of the seats at the island and picking at the food on Pran’s plate.

“What are you up to?” Pran asked, suspicion evident in the way he dragged out the sentence.

“Nothing. Why?” Pat asked back, looking up with his best puppy dog eyes as he munched on a bite of Pran’s dumplings.

“You’ve got that smile on. The one you do when you’re hiding something.”

“Why would I hide anything from my boyfriend?” Pat quipped back with an innocent grin.

“You know, you can’t just whip out that word to try and distract me. It doesn’t work like that.”

“Your face says otherwise, Mr. Dimples,” Pat crooned, poking a finger into where Pran’s face creased with his dimpled smile.

Pran swatted the hand away with an exasperated tsk but the dimples didn’t disappear, and Pat couldn’t help but grin, because the way he could fluster Pran so easily would never get old.

Pran swatted his hand again as Pat reached for another dumpling, pointing at him accusingly as Pat stroked at his hand, feigning injury.

“And don’t think I haven’t noticed you stealing. You can distract me all you want, but I know your games, Mr. Dumpling,” Pran said, leaning forward and poking his tongue out in Pat’s face before popping a dumpling in his mouth. Pat stuck his tongue out right back, which only goaded Pran into sticking his tongue out again, eyes going wide as he pulled a goofy face. Pat couldn’t help but giggle at the childishness, and ever the loser in their competitions, leaned forward and kissed the stupid look off of Pran’s face, and reeled in the way Pran’s eyes sparkled back at him with joy.

#lucky you for picking fics that I’ve actually written bits for #i seriously hadn’t even gone back to the pran shirtless one until today it’s been months god I had to dust the cobwebs off #and I rlly forgot everything I’d written i defo need to get that one out my system #but thank you for the ask lovely I hope these snippets are somewhere near what you’d hoped for #💖💖#bad buddy

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el-im · 3 years

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ok no one cares but i am once again thinking about how andrew j. robinson’s writing in a stitch in time fundamentally changed the the way i’ve come to view garak and how i interpret the “Of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't?” / "My dear Doctor, they're all true." / "Even the lies?" / "Especially the lies.” interaction from the wire (which initially i was very thrown off by). by suggesting that the stories garak fabricates are indicative of how he chooses to define himself, i think the stories from the wire serve specifically to illustrate what garak most covets/coveted in life, and that they contain elements of the circumstances/relationships/motivations/etc. that garak never had, or were beyond his reach. by making up these particular circumstances, garak is juxtaposing his words against the actuality of his life, and by that comparison his lies demonstrate the truth of his relationship with tain, his work in the obsidian order, and his personal convictions...

Story 1: “During the occupation, I was a Gul in the Cardassian Mechanised Infantry. We were stationed just outside the Bajoran Capital. Shortly before the withdrawal, a handful of Bajoran prisoners escaped from my custody. My aide, a man named Elim, tracked them to a Cardassian shuttle about to depart for Terok Nor. Elim got aboard, but the captain refused to let him search the ship, because he claimed he was under strict orders from Gul Dukat to depart immediately. So I had the shuttle destroyed, killing the escapees, Elim, and ninety seven Cardassian civilians... I followed my orders. None of those prisoners escaped off of Bajor alive. Unfortunately as it turned out, one of the passengers on the shuttle was the daughter of a prominent military official. I was stripped of my rank and commission, and exiled from Cardassia.”

-> what i get from this one is that garak wants a) companionship (in this “aide”, elim), b) authority (in my mind, this is more of a past item of desire. in his youth in the obsidian order, he wanted to emulate tain, and was indoctrinated to think that power should be sought after above all else, and not relinquished), and c) ruthlessness. the crowning jewel of tain’s service as the head of the obsidian order, garak grew up with detachment and brutality being demonstrated as the guiding principle of leadership, command, delegation... the funny thing about all these garak episodes, and which I am glad to see that the fandom so readily picked up on (see one of my favorite posts: “i don’t understand why ds9 fandom casts garak as some sort of suave oscar wilde daddy dom when he’s clearly the kind of older man who gets trashed at a casino at 3pm on thursdays and tips dabo boys extra to hold him while he cries”) is that for all his posturing, for all his discussion about the difference between cardassian principles and “federation dogma”, for all we actually, genuinely learn about what garak did during his time in the obsidian order (for all interested in garak’s life pre-terok nor/ds9, please take this free link and read a stitch in time it’s one of like... two trek novels i’d ever recommend and is so good i promise <3), for all we learn about what he did after (the assassination of senator vreenak “in in the pale moonlight”), garak still doesn’t... come off as hardened, or unfeeling. he repeatedly demonstrates a willingness to put himself in harm's way to save the people he cares about (most notably, bashir/martok during their time in the jem hadar prison, but even once going to cardassia to save kira, who detests/detested him (depending on if you believe their relationship changed over the course of the show) and risking arrest/execution by returning to cardassia during his exile). for all his pretending otherwise (from second skin: GARAK: “I have no intention of sacrificing my life to save yours. If it looks like we're in danger of being captured... if there are any signs of trouble at all... you're on your own. SISKO: Mister Garak, I believe that's the first completely honest thing you've ever said to me.”), Garak isn’t selfish, or at the least isn’t constantly, predictably selfish. He’s self-sacrificial more often that he’s given credit for, he’s occasionally kind. I think the first story he tells in the wire is so indicative of the inner conflict he feels. inside him is a child who was brought up to revel in the glory of violence in the middle of a military occupation of another world. there is a part of him that persists in believing strength is only fortification, obfuscation, invulnerability. and yet there is a part of him now wrestling with the belief that he can only be saved through honesty, by telling bashir about the implant and why it’s there and who he is that warrants it. one of the most remarkable things about this wholly incredible episode is this struggle between these two parts of himself.

and really, garak isn’t stubborn, or stupid. he knows if he wants to save his life (and for a moment... for some inexplicable reason, he does), he’ll have to give bashir some tipping hint. he has to tell him enough of the truth to give him a way to help him, and that’s what all these stories come down to. he is hinting as best he can. he is explaining as much as possible, so as not to betray the angry little boy inside him who sees this addiction as a weakness, who sees his attachment to bashir, and to his life on the station as a vulnerability, exploited. then there’s a second layer in which (after discovery that garak is elim) the audience gleans that garak (in his youth) desperately wanted direction, for someone to tell him what do to and how to do it--that he wanted to be excused from his actions on the basis of “following direct orders”... god, but then I think about how garak chooses to kill the figure of elim he paints here. paired with the resignation to his own fate at this point in the episode (garak knows a replacement device can’t be obtained, that his body is too reliant on the implant to function on its own, and that withdrawal without supplement will be deadly... which is to say garak is sure he is going to die), this seems so poignant. does he wish he’d have died years ago? killed in some random shoot out at the orders of someone higher up on the obsidian order’s chain of command? and can you imagine that? tain would bury the report so as to conceal his son’s involvement with the order (sentimentality always coming second to security, of course), letting this “elim garak” be listed as some citizen at the wrong place at the wrong time, a random victim of the violence of the bajoran occupation... garak, in an instant, would be forgotten. brushed aside by his father in favor of obscuring the actual operation undergone.

in the end i think the most i get from this version of the story is that subtle death wish. if he had been a less important operative, or if he had died then, he wouldn’t be enduring this now (return to the conversation about a lifetime serving cardassia re: “the neverending sacrifice” at the opening of the ep....). part of me believes garak wishes he would have died then, before he could have been exiled, before setting up his shop on the station, before meeting bashir...

garashir side note: “At first, he just wanted to have sex with him. That's absolutely clear. That's all he wanted from him. ‘Come to my shop, I got some nice clothes for you... but you'll have to change first.’ But then it really got complicated, especially when Garak's addiction and despair began to surface. He needed someone to share it with.” - Andy Robinson, from “What We Left Behind”. / “What we should've done, after The Wire in season two, the episode where Bashir helps him get over his addiction, we should've had Garak come out to Bashir as a gay Cardassian... Garak comes out as gay in season two, we have five seasons to play that Bashir and Garak relationship. Where that would have gone, who the hell knows, but it could've been so cool.” - Ira Steven Behr, from “What We Left Behind”.

Considering these two quotes from the actor who played Garak and the head writer on DS9, another thing about this episode I’m throwing my two cents in for is the obvious implications for this deepening the relationship between garak and bashir. One of the most frustrating things about this episode is how much it just begs for more, more, more. The casual banter about literature they start up at the beginning of the episode, the refusal on garak’s part of letting bashir take him the the infirmary (hello cardassian stubbornness, the whole scene reeks so much of ‘I do not want you to see me vulnerable, I want you to think me strong and independent and not in danger’. the whole charade reminds me so much of a wounded animal putting on a brave face so as to not be found out. garak does not want bashir (specifically!) to see him sick, to see him needing. he does not want to admit that he needs his help, that he needs him)...

then everything else that follows that, bashir worriedly reaching out to his friends for help and advice: talking to o’brien about his concerns for garak and asking about retrieving the cardassian medical files, then to dax, who tells him flatly “It sounds like you're taking this personally.... It's not like you two are really friends.”. the affront on bashir’s part at hearing that. “It's just that Garak and I have been having lunch together once a week for more than a year now. You'd think he'd come to trust me a little!” he exclaims. then how defeated and angry he is (violently stabbing her plant with mycorrhizae), the strong thread of bitterness humming in his honey-sweet voice, “If he doesn't want my help, that's his prerogative.”

there’s something so magnificent about the timeline here. how long they’ve known each other by now, the fact that bashir is the only person garak really considers his own on the station (“it isn’t bashir who dies, is it? Ira, you’re not going to kill off julian, are you? I mean, where does that leave me? I mean, he’s my only relationship in this show! I don’t have him, I have nothing. I’m hanging out in space with nobody to talk to!” - DS9Doc's Ira Steven Behr pushes for more DS9 in HD!)... it’s so plainly laid out that bashir is the only thing garak has, the only reason he has to be curious about what else life could bring him at this point in his life, so far from home, from his family, from the only job he ever felt he had been suited for.

which is not even to mention julian’s reaction to this first story. “So now you know, Doctor. I hope I haven't shattered too many of your illusions.” garak concludes. There is a pregnant pause of still hesitation (in which i imagine garak is reeling--because, at the same time, i think, despite this relay being an attempt to communicate his own misery, these stories are also made to push something in bashir. Garak is at the end of his rope, drifting (almost) untethered into unknown space and he is reaching out in the hope that julian, (despite, despite, despite...) will take his hand. Garak is trying to see just how far Julian will go to save him, to forgive him. He is trying to discover if there is an exception to his “federation dogma”, if there is really truth to that myth of human kindness he’d heard so much about... in this moment, Garak is playing this horrific, dangerous, loving, desperate game of cat and mouse. “Could you still love me if I...” he seems to say, and believes at some point he’ll be responded to with a “no”, but hopes, against his better judgement, beyond belief, that he wont be. And then Julian looks up at him, faces close enough for Garak to feel his steady breath on his cheeks as he says, calmly, “Listen to me, Garak. Right now I'm not concerned with what you did in the past. I'm simply not going to walk out of here and let you die. We need to turn that implant off and whatever withdrawal symptoms or side effects you may experience, I promise I'll help you through them. I need to know where that triggering device is. Where is it?”

And that line is it for me, beyond so much of the other golden ones in this episode. This is the first time that Garak hears that unequivocal acceptance, and it just sends him staggering. In all his life, he’s never been faced with love like that. His father pushed him away, let him believe for years that he wasn’t his son. Mila didn’t, or couldn’t, or wouldn’t put up a fight for him when Tain exiled him...

this is one moment in ds9 where i am particularly grateful for ds9 being filmed on a 4:3 aspect ratio that forced characters so close together to be in a shot. in this scene, a line from Shauna Barbosa’s “GPS”, Cape Verdean Blues comes back to me, and I look at the pair of them so close on the screen, Julian so open and Garak so agast, and I just think, “You kiss the back of my legs and I want to cry. Only / the sun has come this close, only the sun.”

all is to say: andy robinson himself has said that bashir is the only relationship garak has. assuming garak’s killing of elim in this first story is indicative of his own wish that he might have died during his work with the obsidian order (and thus been spared exile, the torture of life on the station, the gradual dependency he forged on the implant, and the inevitable withdrawal he was going to experience), there necessitates a question of why garak should agree to treatment (thus saving his life) only to continue living on a station he found so hellish in the past*

*oh... the magnificent (perfectly summative) conversation between Tain and Bashir... “BASHIR: He's dying. TAIN: And you're trying to save him. BASHIR: That's right. TAIN: Strange. I thought you were his friend. BASHIR: I suppose I am. TAIN: Then you should let him die. After all, for Garak, a life in exile is no life at all.”

to me, this question has three answers: 1. he is appeasing an insistent julian (though this begets the suggestion that garak doesn’t have much faith in julian’s treating him--in which case, garak decides that one of his last acts in life will be making julian happy) 2. he is choosing to live because he is... intrigued by julian. because he likes his company and the meals they share and the books they trade... and because he is curious to see where this relationship will go. Julian has made his life bearable (dare I say enjoyable? see: “GARAK: [They] left me to live out my days with nothing to look forward to but having lunch with you. BASHIR: I'm sorry you feel that way. I thought you enjoyed my company. GARAK: I did. And that's the worst part. I can't believe that I actually enjoyed eating mediocre food and staring into at your smug, sanctimonious face. ”) and has thus given him some reason to get up in the morning, even if it is for a frivolous little lunch appointment in another few days or 3. he is choosing to live not for julian, but directly because of him. even if this relationship has a platonic reading, it can’t be denied that julian opened up a new world for garak, and if nothing else was able to stay his boredom/disgust with life on the station

Story 2: GARAK: There was a time, Doctor, oh there was a time when I was a power. The protégé of Enabran Tain himself. Do you have any idea what that means?... Tain was the Obsidian Order. Not even the Central Command dared challenge him. And I was his right hand. My future was limitless until I threw it away. BASHIR: You mean when you had that shuttle shot down to stop those prisoners from escaping? GARAK: Stop them? I only wish that I had stopped them. BASHIR: You didn't? GARAK: No, Doctor, my disgrace was worse than that. Unimaginably worse. BASHIR: What could you have possibly done worse than that? GARAK: I let them go. It was the eve of the Cardassian withdrawal. Elim and I were interrogating five Bajorans. They were children, Doctor. None of them were older than fourteen years old. They knew nothing. They lived in bombed-out rooms, scrounged for food on the streets. They were filthy and they stank. The room was freezing cold, the air was like ice, and suddenly the whole exercise seemed utterly meaningless. All I wanted was a hot bath and a good meal. So I let them go. I gave them whatever latinum I had in my pockets, and opened the door, and flung them back into the street. Elim couldn't believe his eyes. He looked at me as if I were insane.”

-> from this version of the story there’s a much clearer division between the elim garak (a young agent of the obsidian order baptized in fire) he was in his youth and the elim garak he is now (a disgraced former agent, exiled, alone save for one ambitious, self assured federation doctor). this, i think, seems to show the separation between what this character “elim” (young garak) wanted: which was uncompromising brutality and dedication to his work, and what present garak wants: peace, a full belly, the ability to be charitable (specifically to young, hungry bajorans)...

this story to me is one that best places this contemporary incarnation of garak relative to his bajoran counterparts on the station. in the beginning of this episode, when telling bashir why he initially chose to activate the implant, he speaks about how he, as the only cardassian living on ds9, is viewed by the bajorans living there. (“Living on this station is torture for me, Doctor. The temperature is always too cold, the lights always too bright. Every Bajoran on the station looks at me with loathing and contempt.”) In this story, by releasing the children and giving them the latinum he had, he’s trying to repent to Julian, asking to be forgiven for the part he played in the occupation of bajor by showing that he was/is (depending on how you view the timeline of the progression of his attitudes) sympathetic to them, and that he regrets the hand he had in bringing war, famine, and subjugation to them.

Story 3: “GARAK: Elim wasn't my aide. He was my friend. We grew up together. We were closer than brothers. For some reason, Enabran Tain took a liking to us. Before long, we were both powerful men in the Obsidian Order. They called us the Sons of Tain. Even the Guls feared us. And then there was a scandal. Someone in the Order was accused of letting some Bajoran prisoners escape. There were constant rumours of who was going to be implicated. Fingers were being pointed at me. By then Tain had retired to the Arawath Colony. He couldn't protect me, so I panicked. I did everything in my power to make sure that Elim was accused instead of me. I altered records, planted evidence, only to discover that he'd beaten me to it. BASHIR: He betrayed you first? GARAK: Elim destroyed me. Before I knew what was going on, I was sentenced to exile. And the irony is, I deserved it. Oh, not for the reasons they claimed, but because of what I had tried to do to Elim, my best friend.”

-> whenever I think back to this, my first impression remains that this is one of the stories where Bashir is considered. At this point, Garak’s been transferred from his room to the infirmary. Despite turning the implant off, toxins are continuing to accumulate in his lymphatic systems. He’s been sad (even woke bashir up with his weeping), he’s been angry (destroyed the vase and flipped the desk in his room, attacked bashir...), and now he’s calm, and tired. He thinks this is the end. He refuses to have the implant turned back on, which nurse jabara estimates might give him another week to live. This is the end of the line for him, and he’s accepting it with dignity and grace. He goes to release Bashir from his obligation to him “you’re done enough, Doctor. More than I deserve...” and goes to tell Bashir “the truth”. To me, this is his goodbye. Even if it isn’t a true story, this is the gift he’s giving Bashir. This is what he (spinner of wonderful lies, obfuscating agent of the despicable obsidian order) can give him as a parting gift--it is what he wants him to have.

in this story, Garak is not friendless, as he is on the station. He has a close relationship with someone (’see, then, doctor?’ he seems to ask playfully, life sputtering out of his eyes. ‘i am capable of it!’)... and yet, there is also betrayal. It reminds me of an assurance, in a way. “Bashir,” he seems to say, the entire weight of all the good doctor’s efforts to save him pressing down on his every word, “look what might have come to you had I allowed you to care for me. There is only danger for you to find in me.” In this, Elim stands in place of Bashir. A steadfast friend who Garak works against for the sake of self preservation. In this moment, Garak is pleading with the man standing above him next to the biobed. He is insisting Bashir be grateful for the shallowness of their relationship (something I Garak ensured deliberately), and telling him that, though he is grateful for him, that if they had been closer, Garak would only have caused him pain.

The heart of this story is Garak’s appraisal of his own self worth. Regardless of how much he’s changed since his time in the order, he persists in thinking he functions in the world to cause harm, much so that it is the only thing he’s able to do. Garak sees himself as the knife in the backs of others, or the hand raised, dagger in clutch.

the second thing i see is contained wholly within the line: “By then Tain had retired to the Arawath Colony. He couldn't protect me, so I panicked.” aside from assurances made to bashir, i think the purpose of this speech is to demonstrate (in the fashion of the lies being true) that garak wanted, and still wants safety. he wanted someone (Tain) to come to his defense then. while this extends to the implication that garak wanted tain, as his father, to stand up for him out of pride, or love, or even a perfunctory sense of parental commitment rather than exile him (a recurring desire illustrates/suggested in the show/books), i also think its perfectly suited to the care julian is exhibiting in tending to him in this episode. for all garak’s refusal to acknowledge his pain (a mere headache, as he claimed when they stood outside the replimat), for all his refusal to go to the infirmary when they meet at quark’s later, the care julian is constantly exhibiting through this episode is what garak is most endeared by. it is the thing he wanted most in his youth, and the thing now (because it was denied to him then) he finds so difficult to accept. there are many (many) instances throughout the show of garak and bashir talking about the extension of federation help/kindness, and this being something bashir embodies, btu this is one of the illustrations that sticks with me because of its particular placement. In the story, Garak wanted protection. He was alone, and afraid, and wanted help. As it now stands, he is not alone, he is calm, and has help. That is perhaps the most startling revelation for him of all.

and last but not least another... intriguing part of all garak’s stories is his repeated separation of himself and elim. the illusion of separation is one of the most intriguing (and heartbreaking) aspects of these story to me. garak has always struck me as the kind of character who sees grief and regret as an impetus for amputation. he believes what is unpleasant or unnecessary about him he can cut off and live through. he believes he can build up a wall between himself and what he doesn’t want to see or experience without repercussion (this being why he activated the implant in the first place). by making elim and himself two separate people he is not only distancing himself from whatever it was he really did, thus taking responsibility for it in part and allowing the other half of himself turn away in disgust and without sympathy, but suggesting that he cannot be culpable entirely for what it was he did. in each of his stories, the blame is to be shared, divided. the hardest part of all of this to swallow is that even after all this time, he’s begging for someone to spare him of the crushing loneliness of disgrace, begging for someone to understand fully what he’s done, accept him, and shoulder a part of his burden, much so that he creates an entirely new incarnation of himself just to sit with him in hell.

anyway ive also been fucking around on memory alpha and this was intriguing to me so im putting it here:

"When I was writing the story," stated Robert Hewitt Wolfe, "the movie Schindler's List had just come out and Ira was saying, 'Maybe he was Schindler; maybe he was the guy who let the prisoners go.' And then it was, 'Maybe he wasn't; maybe he was the Butcher of Budapest.' So we just kept telling all these lies, and I think the truth lies somewhere in there. Maybe he did let people go. Maybe he did shoot down the ship. Who knows?" (Star Trek: Deep Space Nine Companion (p. 141))

#trek #elim garak #sorry for longposting but once again i am thinking about him (garak)#he's just such a fantastic character that i read SO MUCH into #its a shame they didnt do more w him really im upset he wasnt as cherished by fans when the show was in production as he obviously is now #also. reminds me why i have this url #he's deeply fascinating and i love him and hate him and sympathize with him and think hes unforgivable and i ....#ANYWAY i am not even going to talk about the . hand holding 'i forgive you... for whatever it is you did' thing because that opens a BREACH #this is one of the longest posts ive ever written on this god awful site #anyway it is from the heart #i love him so much and i love this episode.

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skellizo · 2 years

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I have never watched a single star wars film completely so now I am learning what the fuck happend through the Lego Game (below read more are notes after completing each trilogy)

Disclaimer:

I know some very basic stuff of the og trilogy (mainly Luke and Leia being siblings, C3po and R2D2 exist, Yoda in some kind of swamp environment and Luke and Leia being the children of Vader)

I know close to nothing about the prequels except we got a meme from it, Obi-Wan is in them and Anakin = Vader and Pademe is the mother to Luke and Leia (I think Palpetine also appears in those movies but idk the plot of the prequels only that it ends with Anakin becoming Vader)

I know some general plot points (I think) of the sequels as I have watched some clips of them (mainly for Oscar Isaac because of Moon Knight research prior to it being released)

I remember the robot with 4 lightsabers and some lady in red with white facepaint(?)

OG trilogy:

I always thought the whole Luke I am your father would already happen in the first movie but alright

Are….Are Ben And Obi-Wan the same person….?

I thought Palpatine was in the prequel trilogy and Vader was the main villain for the OG

Also why the fuck did no one spoil to me that Vader and Luke would fight together against Palpetine

Was Leias and Hans romance also only established at the very end of the third film?? Seems a bit weird but alright

I didn’t fully get why Luke went to Vader and Palpetine in the first place? Like I guess to prove that he is not gonna turn to the dark side

…Luke and Leia kissed in the movies didn’t they? If yes thank you Lego Star Wars for just removing that part

I don’t know why I thought it was Vader that was cast in the silvery stuff instead of Han

Boba Fett?? Appears in the OG trilogy?? As an “antagonist”??

Anyway Conclusion: Story seems interesting enough especially since I knew NOTHING it turns out about the third movie of this trilogy. I was planning to watch all the movies after the game anyway but atm I am most interested in the story and execution of this trilogy

Prequel Trilogy:

I’m sorry but am I told that Star Wars happened because of an in universe trade disagreement???

ANAKIN BUILD C3PO??

ANAKIN IS NOT AN ORPHAN

Pademe seems a bit…older than Anakin

I have never seen Queen Amidala out of Lego form

Palpatine actually looked normal once huh

AMIDALA AND PADME ARE THE SAME PERSON??

Ok but did some strange insects really get sent in for a break in into padmes room??

I can’t imagine General G as something other than in Lego form like his character design stuck so in my head that after more than 10 years I still remembered it in such detail

…So they just made a lot of clones?? I always thought Stormtrooper were a lot of clones but now I don’t think they are??

So Vader/Anakin has a bunch of temper tantrums

Why do peoples faces change when they turn to the dark side??

Conclusion: I got a bit lost during the whole clone thing with Jango Fett. Bit weird when we saw Anakin as a literal small child next to Padmé a senator in the council knowing they would get together later on, had no idea that Amidala and Padmé were the same person short moment my mind was just blown, Episode 1 and 3 I understood the story I think alright but I was a bit lost in episode 2…I literally only knew about Order 66, “Do it” and the whole last fight

Sequel trilogy:

So….I know a lot from the force awakens so not much new stuff buuuut Han Solos death was nice

POE DAMERON MY BELOVED

I thought that vault where the tentacle things were stored were IN the millennium falcon so that’s new

There weren’t multiple Leia temporary general replacements in the films right??

Was there actually a prison break in the movies???

There is a weird hole on Lukes getaway Island and you have like a mirror level in it but no idea how that is translated to the movies

WE HAVE TO FIGHT LUKE

WHO THE FUCK IS DJ??

Admiral Holdo?? Times three??

Finn should have become a Jedi

Ep 9 begins and one of teh first characters you see is the live slug reaction slug?? Perfect

Did…did Kylo Ren also just wander into a strange lab like structure and found a Palpetine who was falling apart??

KLAUD THE LIVE SLUG REACTION SLUG WAS ON A MISSION

Poe and Rey are on their own…

Finn didn’t yell to Rey about needing to tell her something

Wait who are those Kylo Ren looking dudes?? I just missed that

…Rose feels like a character that was introduced just so that they could give Finn a female love interest after people started shipping Finn and Poe

Who the fuck is this little droid called D-0 and why is it on my team suddenly - IT CAN TALK?

WHO IS GENERAL PRYDE

LEIA HAD A SABER

GREBE KORORA.?

Knowing now Palpetine once looked more like a normal dude it makes more sense as to how he ever had children (the question is still when the fuck did that happen but…)

Zero idea who the Knights of Ren are or if they ever even appeared outside of Episode 9

YOOOO KYLO RENS SUBTITLES HAVE CHANGED TO BEN SOLO :D

…where did he get that blue lightsaber from though?? Like? And why does Rey also have a blue one?? One of the two is Leias I just always thought she would have another colour other than blue but still….why both blue

So you are telling me Ben and Rey kissed in the movies?? Alright then…the hug was enough

Was there als a BB-9E that got in basically a Mech in the movies

“I don’t like sand” Thanks Anakin

There is the yellow Lightsaber

Conclusion: Rose felt like she was just there as a love interest, genuinely interesting concepts, I feel like I missed a lot because no idea when the Knight of Ren first popped up and all that. Whose lightsabers did they fight with at the end of ep 9?? Finn should have been/become a Jedi like idc. THE LINE SOMEHOW PALPETINE RETURNED WASN’T THERE. Live Slug Reaction. I think if they had maybe set up that Snoke and the first orders plan was to resurrect Palpetine from the beginning and then Ben and Rey killing Snoke would have set something free that resulted in Palpetine being alive after his death would have worked better. Why did they have to include a Romance between Ben and Rey in the movies like…alright I guess

Final Conclusion: Had a good time :) Also liked most of the main characters and parts of the story though I certainly would have changed let’s say quite a bit but ey from what I got from the games: It was alright. Definitely gonna go watch the movies now so….who knows maybe I’ll become a Star Wars fan

Fun Fact: Lego Star Wars the complete Saga was the only way I knew anything back then about Star Wars. Kids in school would either play Star Wars or Harry Potter during break, so I had barely any knowledge about either of those but just bluffed my way through that. Also when I was young two kids were talking about the (real life) Lego Set for the death Star and how expensive it is, in my imagination I just had a giant Star from Mario in my head as to how this “death Star” looked.

#star wars #star wars original trilogy #star wars prequels #star wars sequel trilogy #I mainly did these notes because my friends were like I wonder how someone would pick up the story by only playing the Lego Games #and I was like I‘ve got you

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heyampiita · 3 years

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Hometown Cha Cha Cha | Ep 15 Analysis - Contains Spoilers

Episode 15. So far, the heaviest episode of the known healing drama because it answered all our questions about Chief Hong’s past. Now, let’s view what we have learned in tidbits!

1. Blame-game

People naturally resort to blaming someone when a misfortune happens. This action tends to be done instead of taking responsibility and moving forward because this is how we were raised. Remember how as a child, we hit a table’s corner with our toe, but instead of being scolded by our parents for being careless, they hit the table rather and say, “Bad table for hitting our baby!” If you think about it again now that you are old, it sounds stupid. However, we unconsciously bring this mindset to adulthood.

I loved how the series showed us how this kind of thinking messes a person up and affects other people. After attacking Chief Hong, the AD talked to him and somewhat apologized for blaming him for what happened to his father. He is aware that it was his father’s fault for being reckless, but he could not blame him because of what he did to himself.

It was also unfair when the wife of Chief Hong’s deceased friend blamed him for his death like he was the one who killed him. It was not his fault that he survived after the accident. He did not want his friend dead. However, can we blame a wife with an infant who lost her husband for how she dealt with the situation? No, we feel sorry for her. We empathize. How about the innocent who’s being accused? What do we usually do with him? We toss him and think about the person whom we feel has the more significant loss. Sadly, even our empathy tends to be calculated.

2. Consideration

There were several ways that this episode showed us how we could be thoughtful, and these scenes are genuinely healing—seeing these gestures brought my hope back for humanity.

I-jun being the smart kid, is also known to be respectful and considerate. He rarely spoke in the series, but when he shared his thoughts and feelings about his parent’s relationship, I could not stop but ugly-cry. At a young age, he already knows how to restrain his emotions to avoid his parents from worrying for him. Though this trait is essential, it is also necessary to know when to express how we feel, especially if it becomes a burden.

Cho-hui confessed her old feelings for Hwa-jeong, and it was revealed that she knew it all along. I appreciate this scene because it shares open-mindedness and awareness about having a different preference. That someone’s preference should be respected, and it should not change how you view the person.

It also touched my heart when Chief Hong shared the part of his past when his neighbors took care of him by giving him food because he looked lonely when he came back from Seoul. Then, they started asking for little favors. They did it for him not to feel burdened about all the help they were offering.

3. Existence

There are a lot of times that we feel helpless, and we want everything to stop, but it was nice to be reminded again by this series that we may see ourselves as useless at times, but we are important to someone.

To appreciate our life, we must learn to observe and be thankful for the little things.

#hometown cha cha cha #korean drama #heartfelt #existence #empathy #blame game #mental health #defense mechanism #considerate #maturity #loveislove #humanity

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warm-like-autumn · 3 years

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Little Witch academia theories

Since now there's the possibility of an upcoming Lwa season I thought it was the perfect time to share this theory I've had for a long time, along with what I think the upcoming season could be about, possible episode ideas and… maybe future villains. And as I’m rewatching this show , I developed this theory that I had for a long time and even came up with ideas for the new season and what it could be about.Let's speculate!!

My main theory is about Croix Meridies and how she could possibly be related to the Hanbridge family.

This might be me over analysing things, but after seeing someone on Tumblr point out to how similar Andrew and Croix's eyes are, I believe they are connected in some way, but the creators didn't have time to develop on that. Especially in how in ep 24, there was put a strong emphasis on both of their eyes. In a scene that was supposed to parallel their reactions.Especially in a show like Lwa, where all the important characters have unique eye shapes that match their personality, having two important characters have the same eye shape and the same eye color raises some questions.

And this is not the only evidence I have to Croix being related to the Hanbridge family. In episode 19, Andrew even states that him and Diana are sort of related. And now on to the Paul Hanbridge part, it would be weird for a man who claims to dislike magic so much to be related to witches. So, what if his wife was a witch, because I think there's a reason we never saw Andrew's mother, and even though we don't see all of the characters parents and flashback moments in this show, Andrew's backstory seems to be pretty important and his father is always present throughout the story.

And for a father that is so strict it raises some questions that his mother is absent. So what if his mother is… dead, and what if her death had to do something with witchcraft, possibly being a reason why Paul hates witchcraft and forced his son to have the same opinions , thinking magic is a dead practice, and his hatred seems too personal to be political in the first place.

Another interesting factor is how Paul's hatred for witches seems to be different from Blackwell's hatred for witches. Whereas Paul's reasons are more justified since he hates the art, not the artist and thinks magic and witches are outdated and have no place in the modern age, Blackwell holds this opinion out of pure bigotry.

And as much as he hates witches, Paul still tries to keep a good relation with them, even if trying to "keep his enemies in debt"

as he says in ep 6 and he seems to have had a good relation with witches and Luna Nova for a long time. So something must have happened along the way for him to hate witches and that something may involve… his wife. What if witches or witchcraft were involved in his wife's death.

And this gets us to the important part of the theory, Croix and how she could possibly be Paul's daughter. What if Andrew isn't the only child Paul has, and this theory is plausible since Croix is around 28 years old,(she graduated in 2007, the anime takes place somewhere around 2017)

and Paul seems to be around his middle or late 50s, basically old enough to be her father. Another piece of evidence I have to that is how there not anything known about Croix's past before she joined Luna Nova, and despite her achievements and the fact that she was described as a "magic prodigy" she was also described as timid and reserved during high-school days, and back then she wasn't as confident and over the top villainous as she is today, her stance being much more distant and reserved, compared to Chariot, who was much more extroverted, even a bit of a show of, always surrounded by people.

She seemed as if she was hiding from something… or someone. What if Croix ran away from home in order to pursue witchcraft, since Paul could have been just as strict about witchcraft to her as he is to Andrew.

And it would make Andrew and Paul's connection to the Chariot and Croix storyline deeper and better, since even the magic shop owner was more relevant to the plot than those two at this point, and they acted as spectators in the second half of the story. Another interesting factor is how Paul constantly says that magic is dead ,obsolete and not necessarily in modern times, while Croix's main motivation is to prove that this exact thing is wrong and that magic is still useful by fusing it with science. And think about it for a second, the damage Croix's monsters did, how Croix fueling the protests for her experiments almost sparked into ww3, all of these things affect the government, which Paul is a part of. Her villain plan might have also been a revenge plan at her father, for being an awful parental figure.

On top of that, neither Andrew or Paul ever directly interacted with Croix or even saw her, and all of the important characters saw Croix and interacted with her, except those two. And at the end of episode 25, right after Croix was arrested and left the scene, Andrew appeared, almost as if the creators didn't want the two characters to interact just yet.

And knowing that Andrew and Diana are cousins, this would also make Croix be part of the Cavendish family, Meridies being possibly a fake name she took to distance herself from both of the well known powerful families. Andrew and Diana often parallel each other in the show, and Croix and her relationship to Chariot is also supposed to be a foil to Akko and her relationship with Diana. Therefore Andrew and Croix were supposed to be a foil to each other, Croix kind of showing Andrew what can happen if he quietly held a grudge against his father and not standing up to him at the right time for two long until he eventually could snap and do the same thing as Croix. Her story of being misunderstood,missguided, filled with jealousy could serve as a cautionary tail.

And Croix being Paul’s daughter would also make sense given her overambitious personality and her constant need of validation from others , including Profesor Woodward and desire to be on top.All of these factors could have easily shaped her into the sort of person that despite having good intentions doesn't have the best ways of achieving them , often putting others in danger to do so.Her being Paul’s daughter would also make sense of why she is jealous of Chariot , since Chariot not only has the shiny rod , but also support from others and appreciation .

A reason my theory could work is how Andrew was originally supposed to be Akko’s love interest , but the creator of the show , Yoh Yoshinari scrapped that sconcept at the request of staff and voice actor , he ended up making Akko a “girl who’s not interested in boys” , so Andrew needed a new purpose in the story , and maybe him discovering Croix is his sister and potentially also becoming a wizard could be those purposes , since they already been kinda set up.

But this theory also raises some questions .How did Andrew’s mother die?Is Andrew a wizard?Did he know he had an older sister? These could be interesting themes to explore in the potential upcoming season .Other things that would be cool to see in this potential season what happened after the missile, Croix redemption arc, my theory becoming cannon and Croix and Chariot having to deal with the mistakes they made, how Akko feels about all of these, and more stuff with the nine new witches, are they considered like superheroes, are they famous now??

Now , onto what the upcoming season could potentially be about :

- As I stated in my theory , Croix and Andrew having to deal with the fact that they are siblings

-Croix redemption arc , maybe more development with her relationship with Ursula/Chariot

-Maybe another episode focused on nightfall , maybe Akko using a spell to make the Nightfall characters real for Lotte’s birthday.

-More flashbacks about Chariot and Croix’s years as Luna Nova students

-Lore behind the golden age of magic and the nine new witches

-New villains

-Return of the shiny rod , but in a unique way

-Maybe the stories could deal with Arthurian Mythos via Appleton Academy

-Male Wizards , maybe more episodes with Andrew and Frank

-More action scenes and serious moments

-The preparation for the spring festival mentioned at the end of episode 25

-More references to other pieces of media (maybe more kingsman , marvel and star wars references as well…)

I should go in depth with some of these aspects :

1.For example , even after episode 25 showed everyone cheering for the 7 witches,they were happy and cheering because otherwise the missile would have killed everyone.They now are happy that they are saved by the witches , and possibly entering a new age of magic , but what if somehow , it is discover that it was because of Croix’s magic that the missile attack almost happened in the first place.How would they react knowing a single witch was capable of such a feast.Especially how would the politicians react.Because at the end of episode 25,Paul was willing to learn more about Andrew’s opinions about witchcraft and even be open to it .But maybe after he finds out the truth about the missile attack,his hatred for witchcraft is even more reinforced , maybe ruining all the progress Andrew has been trying to make in teaching his father about magic ,for him to hate it even more now.Maybe it would even push him to become a villain in the show.

2.Another idea for a villain in the upcoming season I theorize about is Daryl , Diana’s aunt , even though she was kinda redeemed by the end of the season , she is a strange figure , possibly using dark magic , maybe after Diana became head of the Cavendish family , Daryl does not agree with some of Diana’s ways of improving the Cavendish family title and returns to villany , maybe serving as a possible introduction to dark magic (Like she literally can go through walls and has a snake as a pet AND HER EYES GLOW RED)

3.After rewatching episode 17 (Amanda O’Neill and the holy grail) I came up with this silly idea for a plotline , what if that episode wasn't just about an epic fight scene and showing us Croix’s first experiment test , but set up something even more interesting.Even if the title of the episode is a reference to “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” , in the Arturian legend of the holy grail it is Galahad the knight who is chosen to find the Holy Grail. Galahad, in both the Lancelot-Grail cycle and in Malory's retelling, is exalted above all the other knights: he is the one worthy enough to have the Holy Grail revealed to him and to be taken into Heaven , so Galahad is the one to have found the holy grail.And for a first test , Croix’s monster worked quite well , and we also know in Lwa , spirits and ghosts exist and they tend to attach themselves to objects.And if Croix’s pixels were in the grail before Louis broke it , why didn't they start working yet.My theory is that Galahad’s ghost was attached to the Holy Grail and the cubes only powered the ghost up , making it able to separate form the grail ,but decided to stay still until Louis broke the grail , pissing the ghost of Galahad off and thus punishing Louis by possessing a nearby knight armor along with Blackwell himself, combining both into a violent berserker.After Amanda destroyed the armor she could’ve weakened the ghost of Galahad , thus everything instantly went back to normal , but what if the ghost started regaining strength , adjusting to life not being attached to the grail , but planning to stroke again , to punish Louis and the other students of Appleton for ruining the reputation of the school with their hatred for witches .Appleton academy could possibly have lore connected to Arthurian legend to it , with how much they hold the importance of tradition , duels , and gentleman like behaviour , almost knight-like.Maybe the next season could have a plotline that involves stopping the Ghost of Galahad.

4.Last but not least , even after the shiny rod vanished in episode 25 , i think there is a way for it to return without ruining the impact it had in the show. There are seven words of arcturus , and seven of the Luna Nova students are part of the nine new witches , right ?So since the rod became a constellation at the end of the show , seven of those stars could be the seven words , so what if each of the seven words materializes as weapon of their own on earth and each of the seven witches(Akko ,Diana, Lotte,Sucy, Amanda , Constanze , Jasminka) get one of the seven words that became weapons .Because even if the rod disappeared , it came to Akko’s help in a different way , since even if the quest to bringing a new age of magic is far from complete.

#little witch academia #andrew hanbridge #Akko Kagari #Diana Cavendish #Croix Meredis #Chariot du Nord #Ursula Calistis #Little witch academia theory #Anime Theory #Anime headcanons #Lwa #Lwa theory

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leftonraed · 4 years

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The Night We Met - Prologue

pairing : Taehyung x OC genre : bodyguard!au, singleparent!au, idol!au word count : 1.7k Prologue | ep.1 | ep.2 | ep.3 | ep.4 | ep.5 | ep.6 | ep.7

The show was a great success. A chant of his name resonates in the huge stadium, crowded out as he’s bowing a second time to the thousands of lightsticks shaking in the darkness like fireflies dancing and set to burn down the starry night they composed.

Moved, he raises his arm to wave to those luminous spots so precious to him, making sure not to miss any while his heart is swelling with pure bliss and his throat grows tight. He reluctantly ends up walking towards the back of the stage and positions himself on a squared shape platform which slowly takes him down at the same time the lights dimmed one last time tonight.

Members of the crew who’ve been waiting for him begin surrounding him as soon as he steps off the small platform and heads to the dressing room. Signs of fatigue are showing but he doesn’t forget to give smiles and thank yous when they congratulate him while removing his microphone set, handing him a water bottle and wiping his sweat.

He blindly reaches the hall leading to his backstage room secured by a couple of bodyguards present, it isn’t his first time in this concert venue but he’s obliged to halt when he notices his manager staring back, displaying not the slightest sign of pride or gladness.

He picks up his march towards her with a hint of confusion. Her frowning is looking less threatening now that he’s a few inches from her but her body seems to tense when he reaches for the handle.

“What’s wrong?” He drops first, eying her back while she uncrosses her arms.

“There’s a woman inside with a child who’s been begging the whole staff to get to talk to you.”

“What?” Not quite the reception he was expecting from her to say the least.

Her brow twitches at his lighthearted tone. He instantly grasps she’s not messing with him and doing her best to keep her voice low. “If you have something to tell me, I suggest you do it now, Taehyung.”

“Hwiin, I-” He chuckles not believing what he’s hearing. His frowning deepens when she still doesn’t flinch. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. And I really don’t have the energy to argue right now. Did you talk to her?” He suggests, trying to reason.

“No, I don’t want to have anything to do with her.” She spits, offended. “How can you not- recall her when she clearly claims to know you?” She snaps gesturing towards the door. “Now’s not the time for a scandal of any type. Far too many people know about the issue she caused already.”

People are busy around them, coming and going to get everything cleaned up while they both seem stuck in this silent staring game. He remains awfully quiet, not having quite a clue as to what to say back to have her not doubting him or assuaging her and it makes her this close to losing it.

“Maybe we should go inside?” He offers in a soft voice, clueless about the reason she’s so adamant to stew over it. She rolls up her eyes while brushing past him to get inside the room first.

He barely has had the time to catch sight of the said woman that Hwiin reminds him of her presence and even more so of her annoyance.

His puzzlement is all the more unmistakable, especially after he’s noted the toddler’s likeness to someone close to him. His gaze returns to the female stranger. She surely isn’t past her mid-twenties. She looks lost and her eyes are filled with so much hopelessness, it becomes disturbing.

“Hi,” he smiles invitingly, not allowing any tension to build. “I’m Taehyung. I heard you were looking for me?”

She nods carefully, not moving an inch on the couch where she’s sitting as if not to hinder the child in her arms while looking back and forth between him and his manager’s dark look.

“How can I help you?”

“I-I’m sorry I disturbed you and caused so much trouble,” she eventually says. “But-,” she fetches for something in her bag at her feet and the little girl stirs in her slumber, revealing her face.

“Hina?” Taehyung feels his heartbeat picking up and any previous sign of fatigue that has seemed to gain him are now long forgotten at her sight. He walks closer to her.

Hwiin furrows her brows at his back. The woman displays relief upon hearing the girl’s name, satisfied to finally see one thing go right.

“Whe- where’re her parents?” His eyes can’t look away from her tiny face nestled against her chest.

The stranger opens her hand to show a piece of paper. “They went out earlier in the evening. They should have been home an hour ago. I was asked to call this number in case they wouldn’t answer their phone, and or go to these addresses.”

He takes it from her and Hwiin shortens the space between her and them to peek past his shoulder. There are his personal phone number, the concert venue and his penthouse addresses.

Her gaze moves to study the child’s face and her expression shifts to a worried one. After a few seconds, she looks up at him. “Who is she, Taehyung?”

The last bits of euphoria have vanished in the blink of an eye and left behind, instead, heavy presumptions.

“My niece,” he answers gravely.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The pleasant purring of the black range rover running is the sole disruption in the quietness of the empty streets. Inside, the drive back home is uncomfortably silent for Hwiin. She feels terrible about her outburst. She knows he’d never be angry with her for that. She still wants to apologize but everytime she glances in the rear-view mirror, Taehyung still looks lost in thought.

As much as Hwiin values family bonds, she’d rather do without. Everything has been going perfectly great for her artist and now it all seems uncertain. How could he combine a demanding career and a very young child? How is she supposed to support him? She’d never ask him directly to somehow resolve this issue because she knows what he’d do. If he were to choose between the two, he’d opt for his niece in a heartbeat as painful as that reality comes off. The past seven years they spent together wouldn’t stand a chance when it comes to Taehyung.

His stare is glued on the night scenery. He doesn’t know what to think. His life’s just been shaken up by the tiny being cradled in his arms. That woman, who claimed to be Hina’s babysitter, had resorted to him as her solution like her employer, his brother, had instructed her to. His heart which has just been full of sheer happiness and gratefulness is now weighed down by so many questions and an unsettling foreboding.

He feels his shirt bunching and being pulled on; he looks down, weary.

“Dad-dy...”

Prickly tears blur his vision at the innocent call Hina makes in her sleep, unaware. He tightens his hold around her as a way to comfort himself.

“We’re here,” his manager softly announces while turning the wheel in the building parking lot. She pulls over near the elevator. Taehyung does his best to open the door, grab his back while safely carrying his niece before getting out. Hwiin hurries to give him a hand only to be politely refused.

She observes him quietly with mixed feelings as he simply stands there, gently brushing the little girl’s strands out of her face. She’s never taken the time before imagining what he’d look like as a father. It hasn’t been part of her plan. His greasy hair falls in his eyes, hiding his face. The man facing her seems somewhat unfamiliar.

She feels guilt creeping within her chest. “Taehyung I-”

“Don’t bother coming here unless I say so,” he cuts off looking at her with a weak smile. “I think I need some time to sort it all out.”

“Of course,” she pauses, fleeing his gaze. He’s always trying to lighten up the mood, she thinks. “I was wondering if you’d need me up there.”

“Go home. You should rest.”

She pouts a little, she’s already got her hooks into him and she hasn’t even awakened yet. Taehyung rarely rejected her for anything in the past. She innately feels the need to argue but relinquishes. It’s different now, she accepts.

He’s appreciative of her comprehension. He doesn’t like telling her he prefers to be alone for now. He’ll need every bit of his energy.

“You know you just have to call.”

They quietly pull apart. He gets in the elevator and she starts the engine once the doors come together.

His mind is empty the whole time it takes for the elevator to bring him to his apartment. He drops his bag on the floor, biting his lip when a curse wants to slip out because of the noise it makes. He suddenly realizes he doesn’t have somewhere appropriate for her to sleep in. Taehyung naturally settles for his bedroom and wonders how he should arrange the beddings to make it as safe and comfortable as possible for a two year-old.

He manages to undo the sheets and grab a pillow with one hand before he gently lays her in. it’s a miracle she hasn’t woken up already. Standing still beside the bed, Taehyung stares at her in the darkness; he wants to do more when he’s done what is needed. He wonders whether he should get her nearer the middle of the mattress, he can’t think of anything to keep her from falling off.

After long minutes, he eventually thinks there’s nothing more left to do and leaves to shower. He lets the door open and makes it as quick as possible. He comes back to find her curled up on herself. It’s only once he’s under the sheets, right next to her side that he remembers his phone. The thought of joining the outside world again seems unappealing and he thinks it would only make him anxious.

He brings his focus back on Hina, blinking slowly until he gets pulled in a dreamless sleep as well.

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Feedback greatly appreciated :B Reblog if you wish to read more

#taehyung smut #taehyung scenarios #Taehyung fluff #taehyung angst #bts smut #bts scenarios #taehyung x reader #bts fanfic #taehyung x oc #bts reactions #bts imagines

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robintheredwonder · 4 years

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Helluva Thoughts after EP 2

Might as well post those bc I wrote a lot

Spoilers underneath the ‘read more’ !

From the start Stolas' wife [Stella] seems to not be too 'happy' with having to get up to tend to Octavia. I'll pass this off as her being tired [bc a child screaming in the middle of the night isn't a pleasure] but it also makes me think things started being bad for a while now. I'd also say it's supported by Octavia dreaming that only Stolas was gone, as well as her only having a drawing of him and her in her bedroom. UPDATE-- she also only has a photo of her and Stolas in her room. Stella is definitely not that involved in my mind now.

'I used to think love would be fun' in Stolas' song makes me 100% sure smth started happening early honestly. Even if they were in a forced marriage, it feels like he did try to make it work, maybe, only up until he realized it wouldn't.

'Now all my stories have been told, except for one' makes me sad to be honest. He's sure there's nothing more to his life at this point but his daughter. His daughter is the only important thing for him now.

Anyways Stolas best dad award

On my first watch I felt bad for Stella thinking she was so upset bc Stolas is cheating-- Rewatching it makes me feel like she's upset mostly because it's an imp he chose out of everything, much rather than the fact that he isn't fixing their relationship or working on it.

It's kind of obvious Stolas grew apart from his daughter but I also think he is trying his best. Given what Octavia says later on in the episode, it makes me think he did kind of not realize how much his fights affected her and, with how eager he was to get out, that he was avoiding the family all-together at times.

Stolas' swear words get mostly censored, while other characters' don't. With his line about naughty language it makes me think he censors himself on purpose. Octavia is eating Robo Fizz cereal-- Fun detail but also if Stolas is the one doing the groceries oh man.

Blitzo calls Millie and Moxxie 'M&M' which is their fandom ship-name. Thank you vivzie >:3

I don't know why but the fact that Blitzo doesn't even reach Stolas' waist is very funny to me

Somehow Moxxie being a helicopter mom doesn't shock me

The posters on the wall eye-- 'Does lulu world have a sexy robot?' 'Not lulu world stop sending complains' 'Stop asking' 'Everyone is so mean to me' 'I'd never do that to my bff Lucifer'

This park is just a big reference to the goofy movie ngl-- From Looloo's 'ahyuk ahyuk ahyuk' to the fact that the dad is thrilled while the kid isn't to other mirrored scenes-- good kush

The more I watch this the more I realize the worst thing hell brings you- Capitalism.

Blitzo being a clown previously is so funny to me-- But also it kind of makes sense, in a way? I thought he'd only have a show with his sisters but it makes more sense that he'd be the circus clown. Also makes me wonder if his relationship with his family isn't so good given they were all in the circus but he seems to detest even thinking about it. HOWEVER, he also has a poster of his show with his sisters-- Perhaps there's more to it than I think.

I find it so fucking funny that Robo Fizz copies Charlie's song-- Just further shows that Loo Loo land copies EVERYTHING Lucifer does huh. Speaking of which, they also have an apple mascot-- Didn't Lucifer love apples in this show??

'I don't know what that thing is but I want that thing' - Gravity Falls reference to Wendy and Dipper in Season 1. Vivzie do you have a ship to confess? [Now that I think of it, Moxxie does remind me of Dipper]

This is just me pondering but we see Blitzo purring while here Moxxie is hissing. Can different imps do different things? Are they based off of different animals?

'Does anybody love you, Blitzo?' I know this is meant as a joke but it lowkey hits hard, especially if he doesn't speak to his family anymore.

Stolas' hat changes with his emotions and I think that's really cool tbh

'But home doesn't even feel like home anymore' hits hard honestly. Octavia didn't choose to be in this household, nor did she choose to live with a dysfunctional family. I can't blame her for blaming her dad, even if Stolas deeply cares. It's obvious Stella is angry and that's probably reflecting on her also, not to mention the fact that she has to see her father fall in love; Even if Stella and Stolas never quite got along, she probably still saw the two of them as in love when she was younger and didn't think it's possible for them to fall out of it.

Stolas being unable to finish his sentences makes me think he wants to speak to her about how he feels, but doesn't want to break her heart.

I knew stolas was powerful but motherfucker can turn imps into stone-- Holy shit.

Are we just gonna ignore the fact that Millie got kidnapped--

#helluva boss #hazbin hotel #helluva boss episode 2 #loo loo land #blitzo #moxxie #millie #stolas #octavia #stella #stolitz #m&m

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leamy-world · 3 years

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Some afterthoughts on The Devil Judge (spoilers for all the drama!)

Hello everyone! I hope you’re doing well!!

I wanted to write my thoughts after the finale aired because ep. 13-14 made me a mess and were too nerve-wracking! After these two episodes, i only wanted the week to go by fast to see how the finale unfolded (but at the same time, this drama entertained me sm i didn’t want it to end haha).

Watching this drama each week and reading your reactions and thoughts made me enjoy it even more, i’m glad i came back on tumblr! It was a really nice ride (more like an emotional rollercoaster haha)! It motivated me to write my thoughts and analyses on fictions i watched in the future, especially My Mister and Beyond Evil!! I forgot how much fun it was to do that and putting my thoughts into words gave me a little closure to my watch haha

These are just some afterthoughts & personal interpretations i had and were maybe probably already discussed, but i couldn’t get them out of my head haha

See you around and take care!!!

THE CAST. It left a strong impression on me and i can’t see other actors playing their respective roles!

— Yohan portrayed by Ji Sung … i have no words, this devil judge left me speechless! His character, to his Devilish Smile (and hollow laugh in front of CKH and his son, or Gaon), his variating voice intonations (like damn, he’s a living ASMR like Lee Sung Kyung), his held back emotions and touch-starved and even desperate touches when it came to Elijah and Gaon, to his rage and unhinged moments!

I winced seeing him contort in pain when Sunah revealed Elijah accidentally lit the church fire, and the two times he hugged Elijah totally destroyed me. His last scene with Gaon showed how gazes & micro-expressions alone could convey unspoken words as strongly. I’m weak for these kinds of scenes, My Mister for example did it and killed me haha

For this post, i rewatched some scenes and damn, Elijah and Yohan’s support of Gaon after Soohyun’s death was really emotional …

(They had no business in making Gaon have this kind of dream, those german scissors left a ... strong impression on him haha)

— Kim Min Jung’s depiction of Sunah’s was hauntingly beautiful, a femme fatale who kept a broken child deep inside (and at the same time surfacing on her manners and personality) and a strong businesswoman. It’s a fascinating character i loved hating as a villain but still sympathized with. The scene where she murdered the former foundation’s president sent me chills down my spine (i still have her shot of her, sitting at his bureau and manipulating his speech video)!

The melancholy slipping through her facade when she visited the mansion the first time in a while, as well as her devastation in front of the President’s scheme, by the young girl’s bed at the hospital were memorable. The tension between her and Yohan was incredible: they both managed to keep a very disturbing but enthralling aura, tangled with nostalgia at the same time each time they met.

(Looking at her reflection is a recurring pattern for Sunah’s character, i found this shot above interesting, divided in the two ends of the mirror, as if her self can’t be found on the other side anymore)

— This was the first time i saw a drama with Jin Young and i really loved his playing! Never thought I’d say one day i enjoyed someone’s tears and rage on screen, but his crying scenes stuck with me, especially in the prison yard and the last episode (he deserves therapy after all he went through, really) … And his letter to Elijah … (i’m glad nobody harshly revealed the truth to her, i’m really glad!)

I loved to see how his gaze evolved through this journey with Yohan. His endearment to Soohyun, Elijah and Yohan was very precious ;; Even though Yohan was the one who was first seen feeling lonely, Gaon’s loneliness since his parents’ death slipped through his seemingly fine world, i found that interesting! (And on a lighter note, i’ll always remember the truth behind Mrs. Ji’s cooking, Gaon’s epic reaction, and the pure comedy she gets to own a healthy food shop thanks to Yohan!!)

I also enjoyed his supportive friendship with Jinjoo!!

— Park Gyu Young’s acting was also on point! It’s really too bad she didn’t get more screen time because i wanted to know more about Soohyun!! I felt robbed haha, because when TDJ began airing, they introduced her as one of the ‘main’ characters of this story ;; The scene when she was on CKH’s suicide scene really left a mark on me + when she was confronting Yohan, especially after she took Elijah out!

— Elijah. Just Elijah, our best girl!!! Apparently it’s one of Jeon Chae Eun’s first roles, she did so well!! Along with Ji Sung and Jin Young, she gave a whole new definition to the Domestic Scenes, i swear. These scenes will keep a special place in my heart for a long time! Her adorable smile and cheekiness were a refresher in this show!

(They could change TDJ’s concept in a second season and make us a domestic slice of life series, i wouldn’t mind AT ALL! Take my money!!)

Seeing her complicated relationship with her uncle unfold before us deeply moved me. The complete loneliness she silently depicted moving to her bed in the wheelchair, after Gaon left the mansion was heart-wrenching. And also the scenes after Soohyun’s death, hurting with Yohan seeing Gaon’s pain (the way she spoke her worry for the two of them, Yohan couldn’t let the words out properly to Gaon).

— CKH’s character, played by Jang Young Nam, was amazing. Her acting already shattered me when i watched Nobody Knows! Her cold gaze, her harsh tone, she was badass i have to admit!

The narcissistic rage was well depicted in her character, and even though i get where many’s opinions on her death come from (i share it too sometimes, but i feel it more for Sunah), i found this final decision fitting to the character, especially if you look how she treated her own son (each hold felt like a grip from rage eg. in ep. 3, as she maybe felt her son was the cause of her demise).

(HUGE SPOILERS FOR BEYOND EVIL BELOW!!!!)

She reminded me of HKH’s ending: seeing his path to success was crushed with no way out of it except death on his own accord (in his eyes, because it was his absolute life aim, every single being, to his own wife and son, and means, even bending the justice independence, were his expendable ways to pave his path), HJW’s father was set on suicide before his son barged in.

(Funnily enough, the filming spot for CKH’s house is the same for HKH’s house haha)

— And also … Lawyer don’t-worry-i’ll-get-you-out-on-probation Ko deserves a round of applause for the best lawyer he is hahaha

THE STORY’S DEVELOPMENTS (AND SCRIPT). I feel like this story could very well have been developed on 20+ episodes! Even if i know some scenes in a script are sometimes (bound to be) cut in the drama, TDJ’s script leaks make me feel there was SO much more to be told, and so much more to explain some plot events in the airing drama!

Because the story was ambitious, both character and plot(twists which give you whiplash)-driven (and also the filming context with the pandemic), i feel like some choices were made.

The lines of thought about justice and the drama’s attempts at its ‘true’ definition are not lost on me. It was really interesting!

On a side note (there will be many, bear with me haha), the symbolic behind the app’s name, DIKE, which i’m pretty sure (correct me if i’m wrong, i only have some very rough basics in korean haha) is the korean romanization of Nikè, or in ancient greek Νίκη, the greek divinity of Victory ( ‘ㄴ’ in korean sounds like an ’n’ but its pronounciation is more abrupt/brisker, to the point of what could be sounding to ears like a ‘d’).

Nikè is most of the time represented as an attribute to other greek divinities who also embody the victory eg. Zeus or Athena, thus seen as a bestower of victory (in any domain, be it war, games = interestingly enough, the live court is set in a colosseum-like room, arts, …) to the humanity on behalf of these gods (Nikè sometimes stands in her palm as an attribute of Athena, like the owl or the helmet). But sometimes Nikè was also revered an independent protective divinity.

Nikè is represented as a winged divinity in a long robe, flying above the victorious, assisting the humans in their works/challenges eg. handing them a laurel crown as a sign of victory, or a helmet, etc. Its mostly known representation is the Winged Victory of Samothrace (or The Nike of Samothrace) sculpture in the Louvre. The brand Nike also used it in its logo.

It calls back to Yohan’s line: « I make sure i win before the game starts », and in fact, since the beginning, unbeknownst to everybody witnessing the trials and participating to them, the app was his way to win. It foreshadows the ending of the story, Yohan finally taking down the foundation. It also adds to his god/devil image: he assumes the role of the intermediary/abyss of the « gods » (the Justice), taking in all the hubris of the society in order to bring the justice (well, guess we could say it put some hold to the cycle of the powerful culminating to chaos?) back, in some sort of catharsis through DIKE.

It might be a stretch, but Nikè’s winged representation could be found on Gaon’s tattoo (at first to me, it looked like a phoenix/winged angel, which symbolizes a ‘reincarnation’/new beginning for Yohan finding peace, a second chance to his past and Elijah thanks to Gaon & Gaon finding a new world even if his first crumbled ie. his parents and Soohyun’s death and professor Min’s betrayal).

(The whole virus plot by the end of the story made me feel a little uncomfortable given the actual context and the conspiracy theories that are spreading, but it wasn’t used carelessly and served the commentary of the powerful and how far they would go, i think? That said, a fiction, especially a dystopia like this, stays a fiction but when they used it, it gave me a forced laugh haha)

Now, if someone gets to translate some script bits, i’m really looking forward to:

K’s backstory!!!!!

Isaac and Yohan’s past!!!!

More about Elijah!!

Where’s the cat???

What was the script saying for Gaon and Yohan’s confrontation in ep. 12? When Yohan faced the window, waking up from a nightmare after Gaon left?

ABOUT SOOHYUN’S BACKSTORY. (Now, this will get long, i’m sorry but i needed to let my thoughts out haha) The drama introduced her as one of the four main characters with Gaon, Yohan and Sunah. I had so many expectations for her character! Especially from the three scenes we got of her:

➔ In the first episode, we see her save a young girl in the street from two men, looking up at the poster « A safe Korea will be realized from now on. »: it was a great introduction to the blatant lie of the ‘safe’ dystopian world that was being created in the story. It also showed how Soohyun felt in front of this insecure world. A side note, but seeing her hug the young girl like that reminded me the hugs she gave Gaon: she wanted to protect him from this unjust world with all her might (especially the scene in the restaurant where she hugs him). ➔ Her two confrontations with Juk Chang! ➔ Her dilemma and emotional turmoil when she erases Gaon’s presence in CKH’s office.

She was portrayed in the story as Gaon’s pillar since his parents’ tragic death and his moral compass. She’s the lawful citizen, despite feeling helpless to the world’s changes, who hopes it could be saved as long as the rule of law is preserved by everyone, and this begins by respecting it themselves.

But she was not standing around and i kind of regret this was not shown more in the story: she kept doing her best in the « system », fighting from the inside the injustice hoping the little changes could make a difference someday. Because she couldn’t take Yohan’s path, in no way: the system/the law must be respected for it to be sustained. And i’m glad they addressed this point in the drama: Yohan chose to take on the role nobody wanted or even dared to assume, knowing fully well he became a criminal the second he began his plans (just as lawyer Ko said he was no longer a lawyer once he sided with him).

This must not be glorified, nor vilified. As he said, it was a choice he decided to make. She mirrors his choices to some extent and i would have loved to see more of their interactions or her thoughts about that! And how she worked through the system to change things, her vision of the justice. They showed us the flashback of her career choice in high school, and it could have been interesting to learn more about her!

A backstory about her saving the youth and meeting Sunah by accident would have been very interesting (given Sunah knew all about her since the beginning and ordered to kill her). Their meeting wouldn’t have foreshadowed Sunah’s plans, quite the opposite, and it would have given more ‘substance’ to her plans. We were robbed of this relationship haha!

And of course, seeing her side with Yohan & Gaon for a short while (because seeing her team up with them all along the way could’ve been a little ooc) would have been dope. Her arresting Juk Chang while the two of them stop the gang was the closest thing we had to their teamwork ;;

Among the drama’s main focuses (the self-pity of the powerful and the never-ending cycle of their greed, the power displays it ensues which come in many forms in the system’s game), the conception of justice was developed all along the drama. It would have been really interesting to see whether Soohyun’s conception of justice could have changed in her own way!

And professor Min’s potential manipulation of Soohyun!!! Some scenes on their interactions could have been nice to see and explain why she focused solely on Yohan, the only side of the whole story she knew! Her reporting to the professor about her investigation (and him feeling she got too close to the truth) would have made sense because, as she saw Gaon growing apart from her as he was getting closer to the Kangs (especially since she saw him interact with Elijah when they invited her to the café, like Sunah saw how Gaon fit in their family at the dinner scene), she would’ve wanted to protect him without him knowing because she knew it’d have hurt him. It could have paralleled Gaon’s reports on Yohan to the professor at the beginning of the drama. And that could have explained (aside from the whole love triangle dynamics they had) her reluctance to tell Gaon Yohan was the one who told her his whereabouts when he was in danger in ep. 13 ; this scene also was one of the only moments addressing the lack of communication in their relationship. Seeing her feeling confused over Yohan could have been interesting!

(This also got me wondering whether in the script, Yohan’s injury was ever addressed.)

Also, i’m curious about her family, if the script mentions something about them: did they know Gaon?

About the loveline between Gaon and Soohyun: while the friendship could have stayed as is (it already felt pretty genuine in my opinion and strong friendships also deserve to be portrayed in stories), i’m convinced this drama wanted to set Gaon as the center of a subtext love & morality triangle between Soohyun and Yohan (and K and Sunah on Yohan’s part). I think i would’ve appreciated Gaon and Soohyun’s loveline so much more if they developed it more! And it had to develop in the very same episode she died: apart from the confession and kiss scene (i’m curious about the scene’s description in the script), the flashback of their moments, seen from Gaon’s pov, came just right in to ‘explain’ it!

Of course it wasn’t the main focus of the story and there was already so much happening, but their new relationship development and her death almost had no impact on me even if it was set as a turning point for Gaon (and K for Yohan, as a cement to their respective decision to fight the system and how they would do it), and it made me really really sad! Of course it was a plot device (and i now wonder what would’ve happened if she or K wasn’t dead), but if it was bound to happen, the emotional impact was lessened!

Jinjoo’s character development and her relationship with Sunah happened really really fast, and i wonder how the script describes it!

Sunah’s involvement with the juvenile care center!!! Her scene at the hospital left me really sad.

(Also, on the love plot, Gaon and Yohan jealousy bits weren’t used later as an expression of their envy towards the other’s status/life/etc. and were actually directed to people outside ie. Sunah/K/Soohyun in the plot, which makes me think they really wanted to set it as a love triangle!)

ABOUT SUNAH’S DEATH. I feel really really conflicted on this point. Her story was a parallel to CKH (and of course Yohan, i’ll talk about it below): two women — coming from totally opposite backgrounds — climbing their way up by their own means in this power circle. And despite all their accomplishments unnoticed (because they were the ones seeing through their plans while the others were mainly seen tearing each other into pieces), they could still be ruthlessly ejected from this world any day, part of it because they were belittled as women all the same, and chose to end her life on her own accord, still having agency over it.

As someone else pointed it out, it also acts as a « poetic » retribution for her murder of Soohyun and K. BUT her exiting the scene in some other way staying alive could have contrasted with CKH’s suicide (especially since she overthrew the president who was the only one on her side getting in her way and even killed him in the end). Especially in a show that deals about how the justice can be carried out!

Of course, Yohan and Sunah were a foil to each other in their respective fights and traumatic past: the drama showed us how having someone to reach out to and protect (Elijah, Isaac and Gaon to Yohan ; Soohyun, Yohan and Elijah to Gaon) can become a driving force. Sunah, despite thinking this could be a weakness, also longed for companionship (from Yohan mainly, but also from Jaehee), and had no one to stop her crossing the line and preserve her from herself and the world. At least someone hearing her story, staying by her side and trying to understand her.

Each time she said ‘can you be a little nicer to me?’ to Yohan made me feel for her (and also that one call with Jaehee), it was the only cries of loneliness she silently let out!

On a totally random note, i would have loved to see her interact more with Gaon (especially by the end of ep. 15, when Yohan was arrested)!

The story gladly didn’t end Yohan’s traumatic past and growth in death, but what about Sunah? In any case, Sunah was a really good and complex character, i enjoyed her character!

What about Jaehee? How did she react to Sunah’s death???

What about CKH’s family after her death???

I would have loved to hear more about Sunah’s plans as well! Scenes where she would play with Gaon for example (in Yohan’s presence or not, like at the photoshoot)!

(This comment above foreshadowed, along with the dinner scene in ep. 11, she used him all along!)

Her involvement behind the scenes was only exposed in ep. 15 but i wanted to know more about her (motivations aside from her focus on Yohan, what did she plan to do before finding out a look-alike to Isaac, ...)! Given the elements in the plot, i get the idea she planned this whole business with the foundation first to reach the top and wanted to bring Yohan up with her (eg. leading the foundation or becoming the president) or down without her along the way, because she wanted his companionship. Maybe the script expands on it more? Did she really believe in the Dream Home project? Because as we saw her speech in the juvenile care center and her strong reaction to the youth being harmed in these schemes, i believe she kinda wanted to protect them as the best revenge on her past, because nobody could do it for her?

THE ENDING SCENE. The ending was pretty good and didn’t give us an all-out tragedy, so i’m really glad! I still can’t believe Gaon was ready to blow his life away once he learnt Yohan’s death AND wanted to die with him (falsely) realizing Yohan wouldn’t change his mind, dead set on his decision (no pun intended!). And Yohan’s reaction to this ............... Now, their last scene is left to the viewers’ interpretation, but it felt to me like a new beginning to Yohan and Gaon’s relationship! As it was already said by many people on tumblr, Yohan wasn’t sure if Gaon would still be by his side despite it all, and he didn’t expect Gaon to feel this way. They’ll definitely meet again, it’s a promise of more in the future (especially Yohan’s nod, on the verge of tears and Gaon’s two relieved/endeared smiles, full of forgiveness). Gaon will join his new world once he’s done or they’ll come back to him once Elijah’s recovered.

And this game of hide and seek/hunt reflected their relationship development: Yohan felt unattainable at first, but he chased after him in the maze that was his devilish game, symbolized by the crowd, chasing him motivated by his suspicion, curiosity, anger and hate, disbelief and disappointment, empathy, worry, affection, desperation and love, until he finally reached him and they understood each other among all the crowd, living metaphorically in the same time, facing each other on the same (ground) level.

(A scene in the first episode, Gaon seeing a maze of Yohan’s reflections, maybe symbolizing he could not see through his facade in the beginning, being an enigma to him at first sight ; the choice of the reflections in the mirrors through the drama is interesting and reflects the story: depending on the angles, a story can hold as many meanings as there are points of view, the complete image surfacing once everybody’s story is told)

(Just like how, in ep. 4, Yohan shows Gaon the wicked system right under their noses, Gaon’s enraged and confused gaze directed right at Yohan after they all block his view by clinking glasses ; Yohan hoped he would understand what lies beneath but Gaon understands it fully through his own past in ep. 7-8)

(The crowd is cleared from their/our view in the final scene, leaving the two of them facing each other without any obstacle/reflection on their path)

Gaon kept Yohan’s watch all the time even in moments of doubt, sorrow and rage (the best PPL in drama history so far haha), Yohan finally got to Gaon and entered his world as Soohyun did, reaching out when he needed it the most, to stop him doing something he would regret deeply. It was symbolized by the scar he got on his left hand from preventing Gaon from stabbing him (that’s also why he caresses his scar in a bittersweet way, lost in thoughts, reminding him of their last meeting).

As @i-guess-it-rains said + according to the BTS’ editing (it passed off as a joke but i can’t erase it from my brain now haha), the way the scene where Yohan defused Gaon’s bomb was framed looked at the same time like Yohan was also carefully handling Gaon’s heart (the bomb countdown clock radiating a red glow on his chest), on the verge of exploding. Now i have The Nights lyrics in my head haha (« My heart is going back to you, i just don’t know »)

On another note, i realized that in ep. 12, after Gaon left, he’s seen trying to call Soohyun in order to reach for her since their last confrontation, but right before, his finger glides over his contact, hesitating on Yohan’s contact before choosing to call Soohyun.

While in ep. 8, he only reaches out to Soohyun after his breakdown in the prison yard (without thinking to call Yohan because he was in the core of his doubts and pain at that time and needed space to reflect on all the events):

And it parallels to Sunah attempting to reach out to Jaehee in her loneliness at the top, hesitating before deciding to call her.

Now i hope TDJ will be on Netflix! It’d be very nice to get to watch the drama in high quality and have more people to see it!

I heard it got a webtoon adaptation so i also look forward to it once it will be translated!

A SECOND SEASON? When i first saw the ending, i thought it got wrapped up nicely and didn’t « need » another season, but it also left some parts open and laid out a new background for further developments (the system repeats itself but in another form, Yohan leaves the scene with his signature smile, maybe up to something else again, saying metaphorically or irl to Gaon he’ll come back if he doesn’t do well), kinda like Stranger/Forest of Secrets s1 or The Guest ending (the corruption doesn’t end there). I also heard it got high viewing rates in SK, so maybe it will be taken into account? And well, i’ll miss the cast so i would welcome the idea haha

THE SOUNDTRACK. The whole OST was stellar (and their titles are on point really!)! Getting to hear it without voices or noise over and with my headphones on made me realize it was even more beautiful! Because I Have You, Warmth That Melts Loneliness and If Only… are the end of me (especially If Only aaaaaaa)! Don’t get me started on Enemy of Truth’s title to the OST playing for the church fire because it’s devastating ;;;

If Only’s title … It leaves us filling in the blank space, the dots to Gaon’s thoughts when he learns about Yohan’s past and how it impacts him to this day.

The 4 songs were amazing (there’s also Different from the Outside but i still didn’t get its lyrics). Tempest was definitely etched in my mind as TDJ’s main theme haha And The Nights was my favorite!

➔ Tempest was Yohan’s iconic theme and depicted his lonely path to revenge after the tragic events in his life, and his (fated) encounter with Gaon, how deeply it will change him in this journey in ways he didn’t expect. It perfectly introduces (with Chet Faker and Flume’s Drop the game) and concludes the drama!

➔ What you gonna do was THE revenge epic song making everyone revel in the ‘bad guys’ despair and Yohan’s badass moves!

➔ The Nights felt like it was both Yohan and Gaon’s theme and Gaon’s sorrow after Soohyun’s death: at first i thought it was only Yohan’s, but his revenge and the last episodes proved me wrong! The song’s lyrics mirrored themselves (‘my/your night shines on you/me’), as if a complete understanding between Yohan and Gaon was found on their dark road. Yohan’s night shines on Gaon: Yohan’s broken past and all his misunderstood or hidden sides, his dedication to Elijah. Yohan’s rage (almost wrath since the biblical and god symbolism are there haha) and desire to take the inique system down waked Gaon’s own rage, buried deep inside, and made him move forward too. Gaon’s night shines on Yohan: all the time he spent with the Kangs, Gaon’s deep empathy and understanding, helping him reconnect with his niece, their dinners at night, his rage exploding when the truth about his parents was revealed, his desperation on the last two episodes (in ep. 15, seeing Gaon’s realization everything was a lie and Yohan was innocent, and in ep. 16, Gaon wanting to die by his side). Gaon’s night also shined on Soohyun, who wanted to protect him with all she got each time she saw him crumbling down.

There was still light on their dark road (which looks like a callback to Nightmare’s lyrics, « Save me from myself / Save me from this darkness that has lost its light »).

➔ Nightmare felt like it was Yohan and Sunah’s theme. When it last played when Sunah’s death happened on screen, it left me speechless (and if i remember correctly, the ‘save me from myself’ bit was played right when she shot herself … o u c h)!

#the devil judge #tvn drama #my ramblings

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