#especially today it was so good 😭

[bandzboy]

i get out of my classes feeling like life is worth living and music is everything i swear

[hella1975]

hiiii haha. hello. exceptionally awkward introduction bc idrk how to start something like this so let's just jump right in. im taking a break from this account for a bit. i know i said i wanted taob out before halloween and currently im fine sticking with that deadline, but if i decide i need longer away then i will take longer away. every time ive reassured people that id never abandon a fic and updates will always come eventually i never once considered that my writing and ability to feel safe and comfortable on this site would be actively taken from me, so im not even going to apologise. i dont want this either and more importantly i dont fucking deserve it. i dont know what it is in the past year, if ive hit a certain amount of followers or 'popularity' that's made it so the natural ratio of positive to negative interactions must in turn go up, but there's been a serious uptick in weird asks for me. the annoying part is that a very small amount of them are actually objectively mean and hateful, the rest are just weird and invasive from people who seemingly dont realise that's what they're being. ive reached a point where i dont care if the intentions are good. it's not my job as a 20 year old tumblr user of all things to defend the morality of someone who couldnt even bother to come off anon. unfortunately, after blocking only one or two anons, the weird asks have decreased substantially, which says all you need to know about the fascinating and exhilarating lives led by these people, but ive also gone on to turn anon asks off entirely. this is something i actively fought against doing and had to be pushed into by my mutuals (who have been the coolest people on planet earth during this entire thing). turning off anon was a big deal to me even if it sounds silly. i felt betrayed and like id been backed into a corner because it was so vehmently something i DIDNT WANT that to feel like i had to do it anyway for my own mental health??? that sucks. so even though ive 'fixed' the problem, im still kind of reeling and uncomfortable every time i come on tumblr. i hope it's just something i need time to ease because i'll truly be devastated if this becomes 'ruined' for me. tumblr exists as the only place in the world where i am honestly every facet of myself without shame or hesitation; losing that would be insanely harmful to me. and to the people who cant appeal to the actual human behind the post, let me put that in words you can understand: we wouldn't get any more writing 😦😦😦 riots and fires and sirens, i know. so yeah. to anyone who has sent me an anon ask and you're now wondering if you were part of the problem, im firmly of the belief that you'll know if you are. when i say 'weird asks' i dont mean 'you sent me a para about your personal life just to vent or ask for advice' or 'you sent me a really deep emotional compliment about the impact me and/or my writing has had on you' - i love asks like that, so much that i put off taking a break and turning off anon solely for the joy they bring me. im sorry that it might feel like you're being punished too bc of the actions of what in reality is a HANDFUL of weird people, but this is what i feel like i have to do to feel safe and not go insane every time i log in. love you guys, hopefully ill see you soon x

[wewerebornsextuplets]

recent stuff i forgot to post

[juniperhillpatient]

I am kicking my feet & giggling writing characters I love going through the most horrific shit I can conjure in my mind 🤭

[flovverworks]

haha u should read promise of wizard its a rlyyyyyyy good story

[skitskatdacat63]

Drank a red bull in an attempt to hype myself up to finish my current drawing but then decided I didn't want to, so now I'm caffeinated at 5 am for no reason 😭

[after-nine-at-the-oasis]

9-1-1 LONE STAR IS CANCELLED 😭😭😭💔💔💔

The article I read said it's pretty dang definitive, not gonna get picked up but I just. Not only is it my favorite of the 9-1-1s, it's a huge loss of queer representation. And I just. I know that technically/to a lot of people, 9-1-1 is a better show. But not enough that it deserves to be picked up and Lone Star doesn't.

I'm angry and I'm sad and I'm real tired of this happening xd. Not to even mention that we'll go through the final season without Sierra. Just pay your freaking actors, and this wouldn't happen.

I'm never forgiving Fox for this

RIP 9-1-1 Lone Star, there's still hope for you in my heart :'(( <3

[gatheryepens]

So I’ve kind of been MIA…….so I thought I’d give some updates on my life

[dandyshucks]

ah. hm. well. that is upsetting (understatement). the guy who made the podcast that the janitor is from made an instagram post 13 hours ago and uhhhh its ... its not good (understatement, again). and i hate the timing of this all too because i am still dealing with trying to not let an anon get to me that i got last night about this sort of shit. its never good timing but i was already feeling really awful and triggered and now i'm like ah! great! more! more of this!

here is the post if anyone wants to see but tw for pedophilia and ... honestly I would say victim blaming as well. i am kind of reeling from this and I don't know what to think. i literally only found out the post existed because a tagged podcast post just showed up on my dash like twenty mins ago mentioning it :') and im glad i saw that post bc otherwise i would've just. not found out for who knows how long. man i was just working on crocheting the janitor hat today too,,,, idk what to do augh augh augh.

i think i need to go do uhhhhhhhh i dont even know fhsdgjkl like... what the fuck !! what the fuck is wrong w ppl !!!

[adore-gregor]

ugh there it goes

[sickgraymeat]

It’s funny that I can only read/write AT fanfic that’s both (a) canon compliant and (b) not too sad by my (very sensitive baby) standards, bc ofc those things contradict each other a lot

[toastsnaffler]

I will say while I've loved most of elden ring I'm really glad I'm down to just 2 more main boss fights (malenia + maliketh) before I start the endgame boss fights... whew 😮‍💨

[mad-hunts]

it may be too soon for me to talk more about jack mathis after just posting about him, BUT idk, i just want to emphasize just how different he is compared to the rest of the mathis family. because although jack is certainly not perfect himself, and can arguably be pretty immoral himself, i think a big part of why jack does what he does is his desire to be loved by barton / make his father proud of him despite the fact that... well, he is debatably treated the worst out of all of his siblings, along with the fact that barton is not at ALL a good example of a guardian. and quite possibly also because he is afraid of barton. so yeah, uhhh, that's really kind of sad whenever i think about it. like jack honestly is STARVING for warmth not just from his father but in general. and this translates to him confiding in his sister, matilda, most of the time because they have one of the closest sibling relationships in the whole mathis family. but even that is not enough sometimes as having your emotional needs neglected makes you feel terrible constantly.

so jack will try to get rid of this touch starvation he has and try to feel less metaphorically cold by taking extremely hot showers until his skin turns pink and raw. plus, he even has an outdoor cat that he secretly befriended that he'll let in sometimes through his window as well as cuddle with to alleviate his need for warmth, since both of these thing's seem to help with it (even if it's just a little bit). but anyhow... on a less sad note, jack knows how to play the electric guitar and is a ballet dancer; the latter of which he is trying to pursue professionally. so, he is also different from the rest of the mathis family in that way. they all seem to want to get into medicine, after all, but jack himself DESPERATELY wants to get away from it even if he won't express that out loud and go into the arts instead. this is due to all of the horrible things going on related to it that he witnessed while he was growing up. thus, like i said before in my previous post, jack does in fact appear to have some sort of moral center and doesn't like to kill people but sees it as something that is unavoidable in the case that he has to protect his family / someone learns that he does have a bit of blood on his hands — albeit, much less than the other's in the mathis family. though this is not to excuse any of the bad things that he's done, of course, because everyone has to take responsibility for their actions regardless of what the circumstances might be.

i just wanted to highlight that, even amongst a family that seems like they are one of the most immoral and deprived in gotham city, that there could be slivers of hope + morally dubiousness in them.

[allofuswantgwinam]

I actually had the worst day I’ve had in awhile now but i survived it

[symbiodyke]

..

[pirates-and-posies]

Fandom keeps blowing up and dying wtf is happening