#especially with how you can just be anonymous on the internet and say whatever you wanna say

[bruhstation]

My pet peeve is when people shit on fandoms they don’t get because they’re perceived as childish since they’re cartoons usually for children (looking at people I know giving me guff for my Lego Ninjago fixation even if it’s a less obscure example) so honestly even though I don’t get TTTE I followed for the art and designs because that kind of passion is something that inspires me!

lego ninjago’s awesome…. I don’t go there but from what I’ve seen it looks rad. glad to see that my artistic endeavor inspires you XP let’s all have fun!!!

[icaruspendragon]

i think the most unexpected part of being a content creator has been just how much parasocial relationships warped my perspective.

like i knew sharing parts of my life with strangers on the internet would mean that even if they didn’t feel like i was a stranger to them, they were all still strangers to me.

and i share more parts of myself online than most. so lots of these people really do know so many things about me, and because of that, sometimes i forget they’re strangers who don’t actually know me.

like someone will leave a comment that i think is funny so i share it with my groupchat and they’ll be like, “berklie, this is actually a really weird thing for a stranger to say to you.” and my response is almost always “oh. 🧍🏻‍♂️”

it’s like i’ve gotten desensitized to people saying what most would consider out of pocket stuff to me. or maybe my threshold for what i consider out of pocket is higher than it should be.

i’m incredibly fortunate in that 99% of what’s said to me is lovely and respectful and that the vast majority of my audience treats me with kindness.

there’s so much talk about people having parasocial relationships, but no one really talks about what it’s like to be on the receiving end of those relationships. and like i know that no one is making me put myself out there like this, that it’s a choice i willingly make.

and i’ve been on the internet for 13 years now, which is literally half my life. i know what it’s like.

i was on this site in 2012 and fanfic.net in 2011. i know how awful and vile anonymity makes some folks get, but there’s a purgatory-esque space i didn’t know existed. and that space is where people aren’t mean, but they aren’t exactly nice, either. they’re weird. and not in a fun way. they’re invasive. and i’ve been exposed to it for so long i only notice when it’s extreme.

and if you follow me and you read this and are thinking, oh god. is she talking about me? the answer is no, i’m not.

i have lots of folks, especially those who comment/interact frequently, that i think of as my “regulars.” these are people i recognize and even go so far as to think about outside of whatever platform i’m posting on. and even if they don’t interact with my content super frequently, i recognize these users. i remember a lot more about people than folks might think.

these people aren’t the problem.

it’s the people who see i’m a person but forget that i’m human, if that makes sense. like of course people objectively know i’m a person. but i think sometimes they forget i’m human. and that i can read. and that i have feelings.

there have been several times where i called someone out for saying inappropriate shit to me and their response has been, “i’m so sorry. i didn’t think you’d see it.”

but i do see it. even if i don’t publicly acknowledge it, i see everything.

i think some people think just because they see more of me that i can’t see any of them. but i do.

so please, please remember i may just be a person that lives in your phone to you, but i’m a human who lives outside of it, too.

regardless of familiarity, i deserve to be treated like i have an existence outside of people’s screens. because i do.

despite appearances or perspective, at the end of the day, i’m just like you.

[saulocept]

sunset boulevard

pairing: kenji sato/reader

rating: g

summary: After Mina’s “death”, Ken needs someone to fulfill the role of a babysitter.

And after your sudden unemployment, you need something to get you by.

It’s only through chance that the two of you manage to find each other.

parts: one; two (you are here)

There’s no reply that comes, and the post is deleted by the time you wake up from your short nap. You’ve expected this, obviously; the offer seems a little too shady, and it doesn’t help that the person behind the post is anonymous, with no other way to reach except for the dummy email address they included in the post.

Whatever. As disappointing as this is, it’s not the first time it’s happened. You’ve already done your part, but there’s not much else you can do except the usual: scout the sites you frequent on and hope that there’s another new job offer this time – hopefully not as suspicious as the last one.

You’ve spotted a few entries since then, and you’ve promptly sent out your applications to each one, though even now, your efforts still bear no fruit.

You sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose in exasperation. You don’t know how long you can keep doing this: stuck in a limbo with no solution, or even a way out. You don’t even know what’s wrong; you send out your applications, your resumes, you go to the interviews, you follow the instructions, but even now, nothing seems to happen.

You’re not even picky. You’ve applied to any job opening at this point, including that kaiju babysitting offer that proved to be a scam after all.

With a groan, you cover your face with your hands, trying your hardest not to cry. Whatever. There’s no using moping about it, anyway. What’s done is done, and it’s not like you’ve got anything to lose, anyway.

Well, maybe your apartment.

Ugh. You’ve almost forgot about it, especially with all the stress of everything, but any day now, you’re certain that your landlord would visit you with the intention of kicking you out on the spot. He’s sent you multiple messages this week: long, angry reminders about paying for your rent, coupled with a few threats here and there.

Not like you can blame him; you’ve been behind on rent for months now, and he’s been considerate enough to let you stay this long, even if it comes in the form of high interest rates.

You’d pay him double, if you could, just to keep him off your back, but it’s not like you’ve got money. In fact, you’ve been living off of your savings this whole time – which isn’t much to begin with, and you’re this close to emptying the entirety of your bank account.

There’s not much of it left, so you’ve stocked up on instant coffee and water just to stave off your hunger (they were on sale at the time; a few bucks for a whole box). Not a good thing to do, but it’s not like you’ve got much of a choice.

You could sell off your belongings on the internet; that would keep you afloat, probably, for a few more days, but that doesn’t really solve the crux of the problem.

Besides, you don’t really own that many things to begin with: just your laptop and your phone – both of which you need to apply for jobs, and also emergencies; some clothes shoved into your backpack – just in case you get kicked out of your apartment any minute now.

You need a job, and fast.

You’re still mulling over your options when your phone rings beside you, loud enough to make you nearly jump. Heart racing, you reach for your phone, glancing at the flashing numbers on the screen. You don’t recognize it, and briefly, you wonder whether or not this might be your landlord, using a different number just so he could threaten you once again.

Still, you answer it anyway, pressing the phone against your ear. “Hello,” you say, a little cautiously. “Who is this?”

“Hey.” The voice on the other line is different, unrecognizable. This couldn’t be your landlord, or at least, you don’t think it is. The stranger sounds younger, less angry, non-threatening even – which could still mean a lot of things for you. “This is, uh, Baseballlover26?”

Oh. You sit up straighter, clutching the phone tightly in your hands. You’ve never even expected a call, dismissing the whole thing as a scam or some sort, and now that it’s here, you’re still not entirely sure what to feel – or think. “You saw my email?”

“Yeah.” There’s a nervous laughter that comes on the other side, and something that seems like screeching, though slightly muffled. It’s a little hard to tell, especially when it seems to come from a distance. “And well, I’m here to tell you you’re hired.”

“That fast?” you ask, narrowing your eyes, suddenly suspicious. It seems quieter now on the other line, and eerily so now that the screeching’s finally disappeared. “This isn’t just a ruse so you can sell my organs to the black market, right? Because I’m telling you right now, they’re failing. I haven’t eaten a proper meal in months—”

“What?” he asks, a little taken aback. There’s a moment of silence between you, growing longer by the second that for a moment, you think he might’ve hung up and left you in the dark. But then: “You think I’m trying to sell your organs?”

“Honestly? Yes.”

It takes him a few more seconds to come up with a reply. This time, his voice is softer; there’s an urgency to his voice that wasn’t quite there before, something that tugs at you, though you’re not sure what that is. “Listen, can we meet?”

You mull over his words, thinking. Anyone rational enough would refuse him outright in fear of something dangerous, and maybe once upon a time, you were that person. But now, you’re not entirely sure; you’re broke and desperate, which makes you even more reckless than usual, prone to rash decisions. And more than that, you’re curious. Against your better judgment, you want to know more.

As if sensing your hesitation, the man continues to speak, trying to ease your worries. “I promise this isn’t a ruse to sell your organs. Can you at least trust me on that?”

You know what? Fuck it. “Alright. Where?”

You could practically hear his sigh of relief on the other end of the line, and you bite the inside of your cheek, trying not to laugh. “Tonkatsu Tonki. Do you know where that is?”

Not really, but you’ll figure it out. Better to wander around for an hour in hopes of finding something rather than owe a stranger already more than you already have, especially a shady one at that – even if he’s ready to prove you otherwise. “Yeah. I’ll, um, see you later?”

“See you in ten.”

And then he hangs up without another word.

[laura1633]

you're crazy, charles just had one of the worst race bcs ferrari fuck him up again, and what u think of it was how this circumstances was fit into the prompt some people ask u. please could u be more conciderate to treat him like a human he is and not ur fanfiction tools?

I was going to ignore this ask completely because quite frankly it’s ridiculous, especially given the nature of this blog, but I think there is an important point to be made. 

Firstly, this is my blog and I am entitled to post whatever I want.

Secondly, and this might be difficult for you anon, you need to pause and take a second to realise that people react to things in different ways. You might not like RPF or you might only like it within certain circumstances but you certainly don’t speak for everyone. What makes you you think that it is okay for you to dictate how other people deal with their emotions?! I can’t even begin to tell you how narrow minded and inconsiderate that is of you. 

I spent the few hours after the race discussing Charles’ situation and speculating on what options he has but then I decided to take a step back. I assume you want me to keep doom posting but I can assure you that that will not improve Charles’ situation. I suppose I could have tried marching to Maranello to try and take control of Ferrari by force but alas I didn’t think of that at the time.

I understand that you might feel frustrated, angry or sad after the race but if seeing fan fiction takes about it makes you this upset then I would suggest, with all sincerity, taking a step away from the internet after a race. It’s up to you though, I am not here to tell you what to do. I just think it is important we realise that this is a sport and we should try not to take on all the stress and negativity of it in our own lives as difficult as that can be sometimes. 

This blog is 90% fan fiction and contained to a site where it should not reach Max, Charles or anyone who knows them. When they are racing I support them as drivers but when I am writing about them then I suppose they are fan fiction tools. That doesn’t make them any less human. I find that writing fan fiction about events helps me set the emotions around a race aside rather than carry that negativity around with me. 

In short, I think you need to stop being rude to people online (anonymously no less), stop trying to regulate other people’s reactions to things and stop taking away other people’s fun and/or emotional outlets. Charles won’t thank us for it, he doesn’t even know we exist! 

If you think this is some gotcha moment I can assure you that it is not. If Charles has another bad race (and I say if because please let Ferrari regroup and come back stronger) but if he has another bad race you best believe that I am fictionally going to make Max fuck him either harder next time thanks to this ask, so hard that Charles won’t remember what team he drives for. I therefore respectfully suggest you block this account to save yourself future stress.

Peace and love and all that though, thanks for stopping by 😂😘 

[drdemonprince]

This is prompted by your most recent substack about fame, because my point is extremely tangential, I'm putting it here.

It's interesting to have seen the internet go through many stages. From the newsgroups/BBS era, to internet forums, to blogs, to social media, and how the respective environments shaped things.

In the early days, it's very much a group thing, some people became Big Name posters, pseudonymous, but still a group thing. The blog era was more personal, but still something made by someone who's just a person, even if not literally pseudonymous. Also, still text based, a lot of it even often. Social media changed that, with it's focus on follower counts on one hand and to snippets of text (twitter) or images (insta), and even though it's social media-ness is debatable, video (insta, youtube). The semi-anonymous nature however, was completely lost by now.

The doing it because you enjoyed it, or whatever, also recedes into the background because this is where monetization really takes off. The deleterious effects of the interaction between monetization and follower counts (notability) need no introduction, but painting with broad strokes, make something appeal as broad as possible deepens the flattening effect a medium like video already has, the visual aspects often being more important than the messages. It also has a much higher barrier to entry. Spinning up your own blog is cheap, text takes only a tiny amount data. Video is not. It's expensive to make (especially if you want slick videos), expensive to serve, so it's predisposed to big, single platforms that can leverage economies of scale.

The natural result is that you have a few people with big audiences, instead of many people with small audiences. If audiences is even the right word for that. If I'm talking about say, some TV show on my blog, and someone responds, it's a fairly equal conversation. More between peers, of sorts, just two people talking about something they share. As opposed to a Youtuber who makes a video about it with 100,000s of viewers. Because there are so many fewer voices, you lose the breadth of conversation too, narrowing to a small range of popular topics, and the distinction between You, and You as Your Brand gets eroded.

It's kinda notable in the autism sphere. Blogs where people talk about their experiences, how they dealt or didn't deal with things, have fallen off. Twitter came and went, and now there's Youtube and insta, where everything gets simplified down to a few slides or a 10 minute video about only the most basic aspects. Which is just... sad. I wouldn't have known that autistic burnout is a Thing many people struggle with if not for a blog post a friend came across and shared one day.

There was a comment from someone, a while ago, about how they used to have ASMR videos on, until they were able to get out into nature, and their desire for those videos completely disappeared. We're all very deprived. Of social contact, foremost. The pandemic poured gasoline on an already smoldering fire I feel. Latching onto someone 'famous' in a surrogate of social contact & context, like that person with their ASMR videos, feels like an understandable (though not good) outcome of that, which brings with it very regrettable excesses.

I think this is all pretty much a correct analysis, thank you! Though I would qualify that we have shifted away from the period of the Youtube mega content creator a social media ecosystem of intimate-seeming connections with smaller influencers, these days. Think of your Twitch streamers with a dedicated base of like 50-200 viewers per stream (and a Discord and a Patreon that supports them), the fitness Instagrams that sell meal plans online, the tarot witches and activist influencers offering one on one sessions, etc. Those communities can be more niche, but they still offer the illusion of a connection -- and if anything, that illusion is more strong because the creator is a "micro" famous person, and can take time to interact closely with fans here and there. We might already be heading out of that period of social media, though, especially with the disintegration of Twitter and the slow death of Meta's apps, too. I don't know what comes next but I hope we are due for a reappraisal of all of this, and the norms surrounding it.

[the-burt-macklin-fbi]

Nobody asked for my opinion but here it is:

I don’t want Watcher to die.

Almost 95% of nearly 7.5k people WON’T be subscribing to the new platform. (Admittedly, it’s hard to say how many of those voters were regular Watcher viewers on YouTube but still…that’s an alarming statistic). I’ve read a lot of reasons people won’t be subscribing & I fear if Watcher doesn’t respond to the collectively negative feedback they are receiving about this decision with addendums to their plan addressing the most prevalent concerns this will be the end of the company.

People are feeling betrayed. This was an abrupt & extreme change, hyped up to be an exciting announcement that turned out to be a slap in the face. It doesn’t align with what we thought Shane, Ryan, & Steven valued; it puts profit and production above viewers & engagement. We were still willing to watch them make silly little ad skits with their own weird lore.

$6/month or $60/year is unfortunately not a “price anyone and everyone can afford” comfortably, if at all (myself included)— especially when you take into account international exchange rates & the overall demographic of Watcher’s fanbase. Even for those who can afford it, the cost to content ratio is unbalanced. Putting ALL of their new content (save for series premies) behind a paywall will only lose them viewers & ultimately profits. I think if they truly need more money for production reasons or whatever they could get away with a tier system like several other creators have for SELECT content.

I obviously am just 1 anonymous voice on the internet but I truly love Watcher’s content & want to think its creators are good people who will do what they can to resolve this both for the fans who can no longer afford to support them and the sake of the company.

[yuurivoice]

I think alot of people are worried they'll make something you won't like because alot of creators are very stingy about what they're fans can and cannot make. (Not including NSFW or Ai creations)

Alot of fans don't wanna upset or make their favorite creator angry because their fanart doesn't adhere to their rules

Oh yeah, I get it and I appreciate the care. I try to elaborate and break down my perspective because in my experience there's some murky waters you can get into as a creator when you've got a budding community of really excited fans and you're really active engaging with the fan works. I've been through the ringer in that regard, from the ground up, so my approach is based on those years of experience.

I think a fandom of any sort should just be able to fool around and do their thing. While I have things I do and don't love........that shit ain't really my business, and no one should be creating anything on the basis of me seeing or feeling some type of way about their stuff. While the cozy we're all friends/family community vibes are fun and can be awesome, that shit will eventually lead to headaches that I don't want to deal with. That doesn't mean I don't appreciate or am not interested or anything, but I'm very wary of how excitable fans might react if one person gets "attention" and they do not, etc.

Which to a lot of folks might sound silly and like something that doesn't happen. Bubba, I promise you it has, it could, and it will again. Forever. Especially for something as personal and intimate as this particular niche.

90% of folks have always been excellent but the 10% has been nuclear and gross and not a great time. After a few trips around that block, I don't have the time and energy for any of that.

That might be a jarring change of pace for newer followers who might have other experiences and expectations from other communities and junk. Might even look like I'm a dick because I'm not falling over myself to engage with every post, but I've been in the trenches, have had uncomfortable parasocial interactions, have had people get weirdly possessive jealous and intense, have had a long list of shit that I now have very particular personal policies in place to ward off.

Saying all that to say, I don't concern myself with what people are up to so long as they aren't outright stealing shit without credit and passing it off as their own, or doing really obscene shit to harass folks. Otherwise, I think it's healthiest for all parties involved if I'm not stressing over what strangers on the internet want to make and they're not worried they'll upset me.

Obviously every creator is different and your mileage may vary from case to case. Shoutout to the folks who haven't had to deal with that and those who are chill. Perhaps I'm overly cautious at this point but I'm cool with that.

Basically, I get why folks would worry, and I'm trying to make it clear why that ain't a thing around here. It's one thing when people very specifically bring stuff TO me, or ask me something anonymously etc, but if you're just posting? You should be free to do whatever, that's not my business and you should be posting because you're having fun...not wondering what my dumb ass is gonna think about it. 😂

[goldrushenthusiast]

Since when katiniss cared about her family/sister in the second film / book? If I remember, she asked to save Peeta, she chose to die, which would leave her sister alone, and Snow could do whatever he wanted with her sister since she was loved by the capital like giving her Finnick's fate. And Peeta would have suffered the same fate as Finnick if he had won. Katniss asking to save Peeta is proof that she knew he wasn't capable of winning. Nor did she believe in his potential.

wait like what is this in response to? like where is this coming from my memory is too bad for anons lmao

anywho- Katniss has ALWAYS cared about her sister. Maybe not her mom all the time, but she was still worried about them?? she made sure Gale knew to take care of her, and A. Gale NEVER would’ve let that happen to her, and B. you’re overestimating how much the country loved prim. She was still cool, and maybe they would’ve done an update on her every few years, but they wouldn’t have loved her enough to do that especially if Katniss had died.

Can I also remind you Katniss barely knew the extent of Finnick’s situation by the time the second book started? She just thought he slept around and got paid for it, and that it was maybe engineered by Snow a bit.

Sure, Peeta would’ve probably gotten the same fate (unless he claimed he was too heartbroken to be with anyone else). Again though- Katniss didn’t know what that fate WAS, just that he’d be playing a part for the rest of his life. If course she was willing to risk that if it meant he got to live the rest of his life.

For the last part, we literally have proof of Katniss underestimating Peeta? like she does it constantly. she’s admitted to it (in the first arena, her and Haymitch agreeing not to tell him about the impact it could have because they didn’t want to mess him up, etc). Idk what point you’re trying to make here.

However, I do think she did believe he was capable of winning. If she thought it was hopeless she wouldn’t have been so dedicated to having him live (and she recognized everyone else was trying to make him win, too). There’s also that- she was ready to MAKE him win, even if he couldn’t do it himself (which he absolutely could).

Plus, Katniss literally brings up his potential MULTIPLE times to Coin, saying they should’ve picked him instead of her. Like she knows he has more potential for the rebellion, she’s reminded of it constantly.

and I know I’m saying it a lot, but ALSO, she’s human? of course she’s going to want the boy she loves to live, even if she doesn’t know she truly loves him yet. like that’s just human nature! sorry she’s not perfect and completely noble (get over it).

as always, if you’re going to debate (or argue, in this case), don’t do it anonymously! anons are cowards of the internet, hiding behind opinions they don’t believe in enough to be proud of and therefore aren’t worth having.

[ask-alf-oddworld]

i’m still holding a grudge against you because of how poorly you’ve treated me and everyone i met on oddtumblr. However i will say sorry for calling you slurs since i did it out of anger and tbh i did have some regret when sending it. Though i know deep down just saying that wont fix the issue and i’ll accept that by moving on for real this time,lol. Figure i just spill the truth right here, right now before everything goes to shit. I hope once you read this you WILL stop your toxic ways or whatever you call them. I stopped mine so i think it’s time to stop yours.

If I’ve treated anyone poorly, I’m not aware. Regardless, that’s no excuse. So if I’ve done anything wrong or if someone would like to try and resolve things, you can talk to me. I don’t want drama. I can’t stand drama. Stress isn’t good for any of us, including you. I started this blog when I was 16. That was 12 years ago. I’ve learned a lot about how to handle drama, and have learned that with toxic people. I’m assuming by saying you changed your toxic ways, you mean starting from today? Because anonymously sending someone a message calling them r*****ed, telling them the internet would be a better place with out them, especially the Oddworld community, and ending it with a “teehee ^^” doesn’t sound like someone who has stopped their toxic ways. You know, you could have just opened up a chat and messaged me asking if we could resolve things. I wouldn’t have posted your name as I’m uncomfortable making callout posts, personally (I’m not saying they’re never warranted or justified, I just don’t want to make any). I will invite you to message me and see if it’s possible to fix this, but I cannot guarantee it is possible to fix, as it depends on the situation. But I can guarantee I will not be posting your name or the conversation. I will not respond to anymore anonymous asks from you as I don’t want to post any more drama. You can message me or forget about this.

[crying-fantasies]

Declaration of a robo-fucker

I think everyone has noticed to this point in my work that, as it is obvious, the many pieces of different transformers media are blended together.

Because every piece of media is valuable, be it north american, asian or whatever that comes, it feeds the little girl that once found something incredible in her uncle's pirated DVD collection when she was 5 years old, the very same little girl that learned English while watching with subtitles in bad quality how Optimus Prime declared that every life matters.

The very same girl that said how much she loved Optimus Prime in school and was bullied for it, with classmates harassing back an forth saying that she wasn't normal for liking a robot, her own teacher telling her parents that the original series for kids wasn't adequate for her age and it was giving strange ideas with inadequate romance.

A kid that was banned from her favorite series, had her poor and innocent uncle be reprimanded for showing a disrespectful cartoon that was giving strange ideas to his way too impressionable niece, an incredible uncle that only wanted to let her know of an alien species that fought for what was right and saw something special in earth and it's people.

A kid that was banned by herself to even think about it again, and if she did, she would do it with shame, one that tried to think about other things while at it because she could still hear the jokes about her and how she would be mother of a microwave.

A little girl that tried to forget but once again found a figment of her interest in the live action movies that, while not the pinnacle for majority, was enough to be accepted in some way, that got every penny in her possession to buy a ticket for herself and still be denied to use it because her parents said it wasn't normal she liked it so much, taking her to the psychiatrist instead of the movie theater while her mother asked God why her daughter couldn't be normal.

She was normal, I'm normal, Just because I like different things doesn't mean I'm that different, maybe not everyone writes about romance between alien robots and humans and that's okay.

So it's okay if I use fragments of the live action movies, be it from the Bumblebee ones or the Bayverse ones, because those were what I could get, especially the BV since my uncle was a fan too and he kept on giving me pirated DVDs under the table during family reunions where we should be normal in their own standards; I remember how the soldiers of NEST risked their lifes, their careers and their future as a whole to bring back Optimus Prime and protect the autobots from other humans, I saw Cade Jaeger risk everything to help the autobots while others said he was a traitor and wasn't normal, I saw Jetfire leave the decepticons for something better, give his life to save a planet in the middle of nowhere just because it was the right thing for him, and in his own words traduced to Spanish: ¿quién quiere vivir una vida llena de odio? (Isn't that what legends are made from?)

No one here is, but we also are, we just don't cut in their correct way of seeing things.

And, yeah, I like some things of the Bayverse, so what? The whole thing isn't perfect, hell, there is no media that's perfect so far because the 100 percent of our community can't agree in the same one, everyone has their own tastes, so don't go shaming me for liking these movies, and I'll keep on using some references in my works with them, you can ignore it or you can just stay away from my Tumblr, is as simple as that, there is no necessity to put the anonymous button to tell how lame my taste is or how ridiculous I'm for bringing up things in the movie or even dare to tell me my work sucks for those little things or to put it down from internet, because internet is eternal, nothing in there can be deleted forever, and it doesn't matter how many times you tell me that you like my content but hate those parts and even have the gall to insult me for it or tell me you'll steal my account to make it right to your tastes, my work will be safes somewhere of that im sure, and why do you want this account?! It isn't even more than a girl trying to create something she likes while other people also like it!

I love the live action movies because those reconnected me with something dear for me, I love the animated ones and I love the comics! All break my heart when someone dies, of course! Who didn't cry at least once when a loved character is gone?! But this is my fiction, this is my alternative universe, and I just want them to be happy and if I can then so be it.

So yeah, I've posted more than ever to spite you, because grow up or whatever, people won't do what you demand them for just because you want it, and yeah Cade and NEST and Lennox and Epps and many other characters of the movies exist in my AU! One way or another because I liked their characters and how they stay with the transformers because I would do the same if I could, help them as I could.

But everything is fiction and even now I'm facing and struggling to help people in a war that doesn't have feet or head and that's miles away from me, and it makes you ask how I can't do better or what the hell I'm supposed to do, which is stronger nowadays since I saw someone post a beautiful drawing of Optimus Prime (you know who you are and let me tell you again, your work made me cry in my path to work because yeah my life suck to it's down degree but there's people out there that are really suffering and need more help) declaring the freedom of every sentient being, and everyone should have freedom to do what they want for as long as it doesn't damage someone else, I just realize that there are better things to do and focus your energy on than harass me when you don't even know who I am.

Everyone has the right to post what they want as long as it doesn't hurt someone else, I don't want to hurt you, whoever you are, I just want you to realize how wrong it is to pester someone in what they are interested just because it isn't your taste, I'm sure you like something similar and that's great, but you can't force me to be like you, and I'm not forcing you to be like me, you can go to other places to search what you like and that's fine.

This is a safe place, I want it to remain like that by deleting every message of yours and be done with it.

[misc-obeyme]

Hey, CC Sorry if this is a weird question but how do you deal with weird anons? Generally, the asks/requests I get are very nice and sweet but every once in a while, I get an ask where I'm just thinking... what?

Sometimes it's NSFW where it's pretty easy to just say "Sorry I'm not comfortable with that" but other times it'll be talking in a cutesy/baby language or something.

I don't want to be rude/impolite or ignore them but I genuinely do not know how to reply to some of them. Once again sorry but you get a lot of asks so I was hoping you might have some wisdom to share!

Thank you and have a nice day. <3

Hi there, anon! Don't you worry, this is not a weird question lol. I've been told multiple times before that I'm incredibly patient/chill about weird anons.

Let me start by saying that you are never under any obligation to answer asks you're uncomfortable with. You're putting yourself out there by running your blog, but anons have nothing to lose by coming into your ask box.

That being said, here's how I approach asks!

I assume everybody is genuine and that we're all here to have fun. It's all very lighthearted to me, so I don't worry too much about things in general.

If I get an ask where I don't know what to say, I say that. This almost never happens because I always have plenty to say lol. But I'll usually say stuff like "I'm not sure about this" or "I don't know anything about this" because sometimes I just don't!

If it seems like the ask is not about anything relevant, I answer with jokes. Like the time someone asked me about Mayor McCheese being a dom or a sub. Or the time someone just left a paragraph of meows in my ask box. This is an Obey Me blog so I might respond with Obey Me related jokes, but in general I just say something silly and move on.

When an ask is kind of hard to understand because of the way it's written, I focus on the question/point they're trying to make. This can lead to misinterpretation on my part, but I do my best so I don't feel bad about it. They can always clarify with a follow up anon if they want.

Just be yourself! A lot of times I respond with my initial reaction, whatever that may be. When people send me asks, I assume it's because they want to interact with me and that's inevitably going to include the times when I don't understand what they're asking.

Also it's important to keep in mind that unless it's an established anon with a sign off, you have no relationship or prior understanding of that person at all. It's like a complete stranger stopping you on the street and asking you a question in baby language. That would be extremely weird. You might feel like you're in danger, even. The difference is that the internet separates you from that person physically and it keeps that veil of anonymity in place, at least for them. It's still an awkward situation, but the stakes are lower, especially for the anon.

This is why I always assume good intentions and respond that way. Because even if the intentions were bad, I get to choose how I respond and I prefer positive interactions to negative ones, generally speaking. It's like a way to take care of myself, you know? But also, people with bad intentions are often surprised by kind and genuine responses. I can't know that person's history. Maybe they never had anyone take them seriously so they leaned into it. Maybe they genuinely just enjoy messing with people. Impossible to say! So I just respond the way that makes me feel like I'm being true to myself. And for me personally, that includes an almost complete lack of judgement.

I hope some of that helps! We're all different and what works for me might not work for you. So I think it's important to remember that your blog is your online space. And you shouldn't feel like you're being rude if you set some boundaries with anons. That might include deleting asks that make you uncomfortable or turning off anon altogether. It's a two way street and people should be able to respect that.

[donnerpartyofone]

I have posted about this multiple times before but since tumblr's search won't cough any of it up, I'm just going to say it again so I can add my new thing to my thought process about trigger warnings:

Years ago a popular true crime blogger posted an ask from someone requesting that she tag for needles. I think she had posted that notorious x-ray of masochistic serial murderer Albert Fish's colon, which is admittedly disturbing, but she very politely declined on the basis that everything she posts tends to be violent and disturbing--you actually SHOULD find her blog upsetting--and users should manage their expectations around that general premise. Additionally, needles do not carry the specific traumatic weight of something like, say, racial violence or child abuse, for which a warning could be in order; needles are everyday objects that one might reasonably encounter in a store or a person's home, or practically anywhere. If you have such an aversion that it really affects your life to see a needle, you might want to pursue treatment and stop using a part of the internet that is essentially a giant random image generator.

My personal take on content/trigger warnings (are those different? If not then why do we have varying tags instead of one universal one to keep the system reliable?) is similar, that they're only important for material that could seriously upend someone's day. Is Thing X something you truly could not have expected where you encountered it? Would you need to leave work or school if you saw Thing X? Would you need to seek assistance or take a medication? Does Thing X cause significant social problems or affect your sense of safety? If not, you don't need a warning. I mean everyone can tag whatever they choose and of course some folks are happy to tag stuff just because someone might find it annoying or unpleasant, but you're not entitled to protection from strangers just to spare you casual discomfort.

One day I got this extremely angry anonymous message in all caps yelling at me for not tagging spiders. I had no idea what the person was talking about, but after a while I realized it had to be about a popular post I'd made years ago showing tarantulas in a Kids In the Hall sketch. This was especially funny to me because at the time I was posting a lot of explicit violence and sexual imagery that someone could reasonably object to, but this person felt that it was my job to help create the illusion of a spiderless world for their benefit. I know arachnaphobia is a real thing but I still think that if you suffer from it then it's your job to look after yourself and not everybody else's job to protect you from remembering that there are spiders.

This is kind of a tangent but I often think about how trypophobia is not technically a phobia because it isn't affecting anybody's ability to lead a normal daily existence. It's just a grossout thing, basically a matter of taste, but people love to try to elevate it to the level of a serious psychological vulnerability for some reason.

I'm thinking about this stuff (again) today because I just saw a post on one of the autism subreddits where someone linked to a scientific paper to answer a specific question, but they said it needed warnings for incidental use of the term "high-functioning" and advised that some people may not wish to read the paper at all so they wouldn't be triggered by it. That term is sometimes used to invalidate or deny care to people who give the outward appearance of less urgent needs, so it is indeed pretty tricky and needs work. But change is only going to come from attention; if you are concerned about the effects of that language then I think it behooves you to know how it is being used so you are able to argue about it and lobby for change. It's hard for me (a "high-functioning" person) to imagine a scenario in which I'm interested in reading about a condition I have, and then I refuse to do so because the phrase "high-functioning" is going to trigger a psychiatric episode so bad that it's better for me to just ignore information about my own health. I think an adult who is usually inclined to educate themselves should be able to handle occasionally seeing troublesome or outdated language.

Put more concisely than above, my criteria for warnings is just: when the questionable item relates to a real, reasonably common traumatic experience that would be unfair to spring on someone who could relate to it, and/or when the content would be legitimately surprising in its context. Like if you're in my corner of tumblr you should expect that you're going to see horror movie stuff, I'm not tagging anything like that unless it's miles over the line I typically draw. But on the other hand I was out at a restaurant one night and this spoiled egomaniac was practically shouting for a long time in graphic detail about episiotomies within earshot of everyone who was trying to eat. Honestly one of the staff should have told her to shut the fuck up. That's not a thing that people should be normally expected to put up with in a public dining situation, even though it regards a medical procedure that is not morally offensive.

It's probably obvious by now that I think that being uncomfortable and even offended, at least to some degree, has an important psychological and social function. It enables you to recognize and react to problems around you. Understanding what makes you uncomfortable is critical; dealing with discomfort builds character; and continuously avoiding everything you don't like keeps you infantile. It's actually not good to live in a world of only your favorite things.

[elfwreck]

The age thing's a little relevant too. I'm approaching my mid 30's and I just feel adrift, and lost. Nothing in my life's really worked out, I made bad decisions, I missed opportunities, I lost potential. I don't want to live another 40 or so years like this and then die a nobody. I know the "gifted kid" thing is a meme now but everyone thought I had so much potential, including me. And that just makes me feel even worse than if I'd been a loser from the start.

It gets... better? Sort of?

Take everything you have heard about "your potential" and throw it in the trash.

"Potential" is a myth we tell to small children to encourage them to study and work on projects. "Potential" is a way of giving kids a direction and a reason to focus on their interests. Small children have no context for understanding what they could be doing a year, five years, twenty years from now - they just know what they can do right now, and that it doesn't include "build a whole car" or "paint beautiful sunsets" or "write a book" or "be Mayor of Can Town" or "overthrow the Dark Lord and put his minions in wizard-prison" or whatever.

So we tell them: You have potential, which means, You share some personality traits and innate talents with people who have done these things. It gives kids something to aim for. "You have a lot of potential" means "you share a lot of traits with people who are famous for doing these things."

At no point does anyone tell you how many not-famous not-rich just-muddling-by people also have those traits. At no point does anyone say, "You have a terrific singing voice and perfect pitch so you could be a famous musician OR... you could be like Mrs Thomson who plays piano and leads the church choir in a tiny church with 37 weekly attendees and gets paid a $40/week stipend for it, and she also works 5 days a week in the chicken-packing plant."

By the time you are an adult, that is no longer meaningful. You know how to assess your skills, and what kinds of skills you might like to develop, and which of them you'd be good at. (And by "good at," I mean, "good enough to enjoy practicing them and get results that make you happy." I assure you that I am a mediocre cook at best, but I have the level of cooking skills I want, and I know I could develop more if I cared to.)

It's also easy to get intimidated by the people around you, who've developed expertise in areas you have not, especially in areas that you'd like to have more skill.

I promise you that you have expertise in areas other people want. (Because. Here you are, in your 30s, talking to strangers on the internet, and trying to figure out what to do next with your life. THOSE ARE SKILLS. Really. Even the "try to figure out" part; there are people who feel absolutely stuck in life and have no idea why, don't even know how to realize they want something to be different. And I'm betting you have other skills that aren't apparent in an anonymous ask.)

Ignore your "potential" and focus on what do you want to do?

Maybe throw a few thoughts towards "what kind of world do I want to live in, and what would I do if I were living in that world?" but don't put a lot of energy into fantasies about "if we had clean energy and robust anti-capitalist legislation and UBI and..." (I mean. Spend all the time you want on those. But those aren't part of sorting out "what do I do with my life now?") So: if you want to live in a world where neighbors welcome each other to the community with a casserole, then go talk to your neighbors, even if you feel awkward about it. If you want to live in a world with active, thriving libraries, go borrow some books from your local library. If you want to live in a world where you own your digital purchases, learn how to strip the DRM from ebooks. And so on.

If you're running into self-worth issues, consider who the Republican party is running for office, and remind yourself that you are not worse than them, and if they "deserve" money and power and fame, you at least deserve to be comfortable. (Whether they "deserve" what they have or not, they have it, so you might as well decide you deserve some friends and some entertainments and a job you don't hate.)

If you're running into "but all that seems like a lot of effort and I don't know if I have the energy" - pick something smaller as a first goal. Don't write the novel; write one scene that's stuck in your head, one bit of dialogue that makes you want to tell the story around it. Put it in a private file just for you. Start a collection of story fragments.

tl;dr umm...

We're all just muddling along. Really. We're stuck in a capitalist hellscape together. Find something you care about and let yourself be obsessed with it. Give yourself permission to be bad at it. Give yourself permission to just do the 5% you enjoy.

Don't count your achievements by starting with a list of things you haven't done.

[gamblegun]

just wanted to pop in and say that i appreciate your blog, it has given me so much comfort, but i will totally understand and respect you if you delete it. im sorry for all of the hate you've gotten and had to see.

i've been really struggling with how trans men are treated currently and our historical erasure/non-inclusion lately. if i can be completely candid i feel like i no longer belong under the label "trans" and it honestly causes me discomfort. but i'm not cis either. i won't ever go off of T or be a woman or anything like that. i love my body but i don't love being in this community. i honestly can't even connect with the flag anymore. i tried but this recent outpouring of hate has made me realize how forced i felt.

i don't belong and at this point i dont want to mold myself into someone who does. i don't want to be the kind of person that antitransmasc trans people begrudgingly tolerate. i desperately wish i had some kind of third word or third space outside of all of this where i could just exist as a man. i don't care what i am "technically". i just want to be a man and to be left alone about it, not "cis or trans" but Just Some Guy.

reading your thoughts has made me feel less alone as I struggle with this mentality. i haven't found an answer and i doubt anyone will propose or make anything like what i want. but i just wanted to sincerely say. thank you. i would unironically send you $10 if I could (all the spare change I have right now.)

i may privately save some of your posts to re-read when i feel isolated and unheard. if that's not alright please feel free to enforce that boundary and i will respect it.

Hey, first of all I'm sorry you're going through that. I'm glad that my blog has brought some comfort to you, and I hope that wherever you end up and however you decide to conceptualize your identity, you find it fulfilling and peaceful. It's tough rn, I have trouble walking away from this discussion, especially since it tends to jump scare me when I'm engaging with fandom stuff, but a couple months break made me feel better, so I'd suggest setting it down and doing something you enjoy instead if you can. However, I know it isn't really all that simple since a lot of this pertains to irl problems, even just general transmasc isolation, so no judging if you struggle with disengaging. I haven't officially decided to delete this blog, it was mostly a vent post tbh, but feel free to save posts. I have long accepted that whatever I'm sending out into the internet will exist somewhere forevermore lol.

I currently haven't set up anything that I feel like is anonymous enough for my Inflammatory Opinions Blog, and even though I am very open to receiving money lol, I wouldn't want to take your last ten bucks. I'd rather you get a treat for yourself. Personally, I got myself a slice of tres leches cake after work today, it was delicious.

[tricksterlatte]

I saw someone on the bird website point out that just because people disagree with a fellow fan doesn't give them the right to bully or harass said fan, especially in such cruel ways (they were body shaming a well known Overwatch person because she shared a selfie, and the hate originated from her opinions on the character).

It's been driving me crazy how people somehow forgot you can disagree with someone's opinions without being an asshole. Why do we condemn bigotry or cruelty when it's directed at our friends, but hurl it out ourselves when opportunity arises to bash someone we dislike? It just makes me so sad.

This isn't about a specific situation but it's a problem i've noticed over the years. I have been both a perpetrator and a victim of this (if I said otherwise, I'd be a liar. I've been on the internet since I was 10 and have been active in multiple fandoms), but I don't want to contribute whatsoever to that type of environment anymore. We have to talk the talk and walk the walk with this one, or we will continue to be miserable. If you dislike something or someone, either communicate if this person is supposed to matter to you or vice versa, or just block them, mute them, unfollow them. Whichever suits your comfort level for whatever the situation may be. If you hate something or someone but still proceed to follow them, check their profile, and grab screenshots or QRTs to make fun of them, whether with petty jabs or actual bigotry and cruelty, you are not only making other people into targets. You are sending yourself into a spiral that will only harm you in the long run.

I know how addicting social media can be. I know how the instant gratuitous relief can feel when you vent about something within an echo chamber. And I don't think the answer is just don't vent, don't misconstrue my words. I think the answer is does this make you happy? I don't think this type of habit makes anyone happy. I know sometimes people change, and I really hope people can and do.

I don't say this as an accusation or to be mean myself, I say this as someone who suffered on my own end, not only from taking the brunt of harassment but also from indulging it on occasion. I used to be horrible about this type of fixation on things I hated within fandom during my prime days in my earliest tumblr fandoms, and I nearly fell into this trap again over the past few years. My irl situation was entering a state of despair, and during those times, without anyone trustworthy that shared these spaces with me and that knew me well in return, fandom felt like the one place where I had a semblance of control. That doesn't excuse belittling people. It never does. A reason is not justification.

It's a special type of hell, for example from my personal experience, to receive dozens of suibait anons about fanfic you published, whether it was from things I left blatantly tagged and easily avoidable, over my writing not being as good as others' within these spaces, or because people admitted they were envious of something outside of my control. Or people making fun of my cosplay photos or treating me as an object to be sexualized, no matter who they were or how they identified. I had old Retrospring anons sent that exploited my vulnerability regarding events only certain groups knew about, trying me during my worst of times. When I vaguely discussed them on other websites, without sharing things being said to protect myself and to not spread drama, I was largely told I was overreacting and to just delete them. Which I did, but they kept coming. I deleted anonymous ways of contacting me and closed off most forms of contact with fandoms other than a few long running places I've known for years (thank you WWD crew you guys are the GOAT). But even so. If I didn't have the person who is now my wife there for me at the right time, I probably wouldn't be here right now. Not everyone experiencing this type of thing has anyone there for them at all.

I have a tendency to ramble, so I'll summarize here: the only type of toxicity that will ever bring people joy is toxic yaoi, toxic yuri, Toxic by Britney Spears, and the Toxic TM from Pokemon. I want to get better myself, and I'm posting this because I hope for the best for anyone who read this. If you disagree with me for this, that's okay too. If you don't think this applies to you, it might not! I don't know you. None of us know each other, which I think should be further incentive to be kind, instead of ample opportunity to be mean. If you have the choice, strive to be kind over the escapism that brings us joy. For some of us, this will be the only kindness we may ever know.

[water-lemon-alex]

( AvA OC )

“Hello? Is this thing on? Ahem…”

“Hello, people of the Internet! It’s ya girl Carnation Pink!! Nice to meet you guys!”

“I’ve heard all about you guys! I see each and every one of you through the screen, and I want to reintroduce myself to all of you!”

“Hiya. My name’s Carnation Pink, and I think some of you have seen me before. I’m a streamer who streams about all sorts of things! From the hottest video games, to the latest news, or maybe just chatting! I have them all!”

“Oh, and also, don’t call me Pink; I prefer Carnation instead.”

“Well, Miss Creator, take it away!”

.

.

.

Greetings, people of AvAblr (or whatever you call it), I would like to take the time to say something: I have my own AvA OC! I got kind of inspired by other OC makers, but most of the time, they get little to no attention. This is your reminder to appreciate the many OCs in this fandom, because they’re underappreciated and deserve more love!

As you may already know, their name is Carnation Pink, a renowned streamer from StickCity! Her aim is to make others smile, since she wasn’t able to smile much during her childhood.

Her parents died in a tragedy when she was a child, so when she was in the orphanage, she discovered her love for streaming.

The master of the orphanage is rather strict, and usually calls Carnation as “Pink” instead. This lead to her not being fond of the nickname “Pink”.

Be warned, she’s actually pretty flexible despite streaming all the time. She does gymnastics in her free time.

She’s short-tempered. Lots of things can make her irritated, especially the aforementioned fact that she doesn’t like being called “Pink”.

She was childhood friends with Purple! They were pen pals before, then eventually met each other in person. However, they drifted apart after Purple’s mother Orchid passed away.

A few years later, they met again anonymously through one of Carnation’s streams, but soon enough they found out about each others’ identities again, only to find out they were old childhood friends!

After their reunion, Carnation got to meet the Color Gang as well! She talks with them from time to time online.

She knows all about the Alan Becker universe, actually- You know how the original AvM appeared on television once? That’s how Carnation knew about everything!

She wears her headphones with cat ears, not only during her streams, but also almost anywhere she goes. She only takes it off during breaks.

She’s a bit inspired by Needy Streamer Overdose (I listened to INTERNET OVERDOSE recently).

Asks for Carnation are open, by the way! This is my first time ever doing something like this!

Oh yeah, she would also love it if you answered my their questions that they made herself.