#even if ive not mentioned him by name its p obvs

[andromedasummer]

youre telling me a guy refusing to give up a position in a motorsport race has been the thing that's pushed you over the edge into disliking him. and not. the racist slurs. the ableist slurs. the derogatory comments about brazilians. the derogatory comments about women. his literal actual fascist girlfriend. his support of his fascist girlfriends dad (a friend of bolsonaro), who is also a fascist racist and the general casual racism of the whole family. i think its time to grow a backbone and some empathy. because being mean when making car go in circles is a fucking insane priority in context of the list of things that make this dude a bad person.

[antiloreolympus]

10 Anti LO Asks

1. Can we talk about how Semele was like, forgotten?  😐

I mean, better for us, I don't want to see what RS will do with Dionysus 🙃

2. are we sure the art team on lo actually likes it tho bc i see the current art and it looks like a hot mess. tho maybe thats just bc the sketches arent good and her instructions arent clear? idk i would think putting the best product forward esp on a work i like would be better than having it be so rushed and kinda bad?? her name is the only one who is on it at the end of the day so i guess they really have no reason to make it look good when she takes the credit for it.

3. also like ... of course rachel can (supposedly) crank out a panel in 30 minutes, its HER style and SHE knows what she wants, but the team, especially a newbie, DOESNT, so how could they know what exact time saving tricks she uses or her work flow? theres so many factors that go into pay and shes to be basing it off herself, as opposed to the differences in her assistants and the fact it has to be done in a small amount of time. also kinda weird none of her team seems to be long-term but 🤷🏿

4. girl, her last two editors QUIT webtoons after working with rachel, despite them even getting promotions. that on top of the high turnover rate in her art team is a bit concerning, ngl.

5. i dont think rachel was being malicious, but i do think she was aware she was underpaying for the amount of work she was asking for, because turning off comments and replies pretty much immediately gives that away, as well as going through her social media accounts instead of actual artist networks of which there are countless avenues to do so (including through webtoons itself). i dont think shes evil for it, but it seems more a case of being careless over being fair, IMHO.

6. i just wanna talk about that one art assistant rachel had in 2019(?) that literally drew LO porn and that was like, the only one she actually promoted. what a weird summer that was.

7. obvs you'd raher have people who are passionate about the comic work on it and all (tho going off the editors for LO they dont like it) but, and this is not an insult to them, but is the sketches and instructions rachel giving them just not good? because ive checked out some of their instagrams and they make lovely work, even better than rachel's old stuff, but the actual comic's art is just... bad? i really dont see how they have such creative man power behind it and it still looks like that?

8. Oh GOD can you imagine RS portraying the Trojan War in the LO universe??? It sounds like a trainwreck that I would absolutely love and hate to see

-----FP Spoilers/Mention-----

9. (FP) girl i swear if rachel introduces hypnos just to pull the "wah look at thanatos the unloved twin" i might actually lose it. theres only like three things to thanatos in myth and one is that nyx loves him and him and hypnos are as close as can be. she already ruined the loving sibling relationship between apollo and artemis so can we just hope she doesnt ruin another one too

10. FP// I also found it very forced to now say Hades is actually the father figure to Thanatos because we saw since Than's first intro Hades belittled him, and Than p obvs didn't like or respect him and it's so like I get it's put in to try and justify Hades' favoritism towards Persephone (which is dumb) but its done so poorly and only makes Hades look worse. Also it implies he'd be a terrible father if when taking care of a child he just makes them a servant then treats them terribly as an adult.

[smalltragedy]

* herman tommeraas, cis man + he/him | you know donovan mercer, right? they’re twenty one, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, four months? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to ice boy by corbin like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole fear hidden behind a stoic stare, bleeding from your nose and from your gums, and the night sky with all its stars, with all its mystery and unknown thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is march 15th, so they’re a pisces, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( james, 21, est, they/them )

looks away as i finally post his intro after being kinda awol fr however long. i love him a lot n hes also bri’s character mercy’s younger brother so u hv to be nice to him. think abt mercy’s life. then think abt ducky. im sry in advance tht his intro’s a little longer ive hd ducky fr like. a year or two n i’ve been playing him a While <3 as always like this if u’d like 2 plot n i’ll try 2 msg u bck bt otherwise im gna just hop right into threads bc obv i need to. change my methods.

ABUSE, VIOLENCE, DRUG ABUSE, EYE INJURY, GANG MENTIONS TW.

mini playlist.

father ;; the front bottoms / ice boy ;; corbin / lose yourself ;; eminem / my own worst enemy ;; lit / say it ain’t so ;; weezer / maps ;; yeah yeah yeahs / star stopping ;; lil peep / benz truck ;; lil peep / trauma ;; nf / northern downpour ;; panic! at the disco / your graduation ;; modern baseball.

statistics.

full name: donovan mercer.

nickname(s): ducky.

birthday: march 15th, 1999.

zodiac: pisces sun, aquarius moon, aquarius ascending.

mbti & temperament: intp & theorist / phlegmatic.

label: the despondent.

hometown: hell’s kitchen, new york.

sexuality: bisexual (bt not out). 

pinterest.

biography.

born in hell’s kitchen to vinny mercer and a mother who ran out of the hospital as fast as she could, as soon as she was able. she’d gone so quick that she’d never given ducky a middle name - just donovan. the younger brother of mercy (shoutout 2 bri)

his father’s the right-hand man of a well known mob boss named lars amaretto, and so, you can imagine the kind of environment ducky (& mercy) grew up in. weapon & drug dealings, interrogations, violence around every corner. a brutal way of living, no place to raise two children.

implied abuse tw // their father was not kind, or merciful - and ducky was a runt compared to mercy, small and sensitive and kinder than his brother. weak, and filled with softness, with big brown eyes and a smile that should’ve been able to melt ice - but it didn’t. and it never did.

he cried often, and was punished often for it until he learned to stop crying - at least in front of their father, and mercy too, at some point. only in the comfort of his room, with doors locked and blinds drawn closed. implied abuse end of tw

he dreamed, too, dreamt often. he’d been obsessed with outer space since childhood, as long as he could remember. school had once shown man landing on the moon, and ducky wanted that. wanted to be that, wanted to be there, up with the stars, discovering the unthinkable.

abuse mention // but it was discouraged, heavily so - projects destroyed by an angry fist only to be reconstructed to the best of ducky’s ability, with mercy’s help, all throughout the night. he’d saved up for a telescope when he was thirteen, but it’d been destroyed almost immediately when discovered. not a day went by that their father didn’t tell ducky that he was, first and foremost, stupid - and would always be. end of abuse mention

to the point where he stopped trying, simply. he never graduated high school.

abuse mention // anxiety mention // anyways … at the age of fifteen, he’d have enough. he was sick of the abuse, the pain - the crying behind closed doors, the sneaking around, the constant feeling of needing to escape, impending doom, anxiety attacks in the shower and in school bathrooms and at the back of the bus where nobody sat besides him because he was - that boy, the son of that man, the brother of that brute. he’d been a teenager and he’d already been an outcast by all means - an outcast in his family, no matter how hard he tried to appease vinny, and an outsider everywhere else.

the plan took months of preparation, paper ripped out from the back of his school notebook and stuffed beneath his mattress, details of his escape from a checklist of essential items to makeshift maps of bus routes to different cities.

all for nothing, the moment vinny discovered it, the edge of a map sticking out after a rushed morning.

heavy abuse tw // violence tw // it’d been the same day he’d gotten the nickname - ducky - the way the wound wrapped below his mouth, and the way it’d begun to heal - puckered, at first, like a duck’s bill. a better name than eyepatch, at the very least. the scar’d run from the arch of his left brow, across his eye, down his cheek, and below his lip. his eye sustained injury, and not allowed to see a doctor about it, it never healed properly.

eye injury // corneal scarring, impairing his left eye. astronaut dreams destroyed, but not in a matter of seconds. in the matter of an hour, maybe more - and that’d been much, much worse. 

he stopped trying to run away after that. tried to be more like their father, more like mercy - more brutish, less feeling. spoke less, and less. spoke hardly at all, unless spoken to first.

still didn’t matter. still lived his days in fear, still knew it’d never change. nothing would ever change.

the mercer brothers have been floating around the north carolina scene for ~5ish years now, trailing after their father who is consistently chasing after their mother with no luck. they’re currently residing in palm motel. can we get a hell yeah?

personality & facts.

he’s actually very? intimidating? when you first meet him. mercy’s younger brother, with a criminal’s record almost as long as his - a scarred face and a mean resting face. it takes at least five minutes of conversation beyond small talk before it starts to weigh on your mind that maybe, he’s not as bad as he seems.

and - well, he isn’t. but he’s guarded - so guarded. more-so than mercy, because mercy’s quicker to anger, quicker to react, and ducky tries so hard to drown out the noise. but he’s not a robot, and his facial expressions can give him away in a second.

he’s seen what happened when mercy had a glimpse of something good in his life (though, it wasn’t actually good at all - mercy had someone, at least. at the very least) - and how quickly it’d all fallen, and so ducky puts a barrier between him and others. distant, as much as he can be.

it hurts, because ducky isn’t by any means antisocial. he doesn’t hate people - he wants to be normal, wants to have friends and a girlfriend - or maybe even a boyfriend, god - but he’s so afraid. ducky is, by nature, a very scared person. terrified to his very core. he knows there is always eyes on him, and mercy too, and he knows that nothing is worth getting someone else hurt.

you know him as mercy’s little brother, and he’s quiet you know that - but his name is ducky, and you think - he’s not too bad. and he knows this, knows the doubts. knows that it’ll get back to mercy, eventually, that his brother is nothing more but a pussy. so he fights more than he’d like to, against the guilt that buries itself deep within his chest with every thrown fist. he throws up, afterwards, in the garbage can outside. too much to drink, he says, rare grin - because grins are convincing, and grins with bleeding gums are intimidating. he learned that from his brother.

violence makes him sick to his very stomach. he can’t watch horror films, or even action films, without feeling queasy. there’s been more times than he can count where he’d thrown up after a fight, or after an interrogation, usually in private but in the occasional presence of mercy.

they fight, a lot, sometimes - ducky’s too soft, too weak, and it’s bad and it’s terrible and ducky knows that mercy’s afraid. for him, of their father, and his wraith. ducky knows that if mercy isn’t hard on him now, their father will be on him harder. still. there’s resentment, small but there, like the flame of a match. he doesn’t know what’ll happen when there’s nothing more to burn, but he doesn’t want to find out. he’s afraid to find out.

he’s still in love with the moon and the stars, and the planet’s - and their moons, too. its subdued, now, though. a silent passion - one that is often not watered, left for rot. he sneaks into engineering lectures at the community college, occasionally, or physics, or whatever peeks the small curiosity inside of him.

commits small acts of kindness when nobody looks. doors held open, the meals of elderly folk eating alone suddenly paid. picks up litter besides trash bins, and always cooks extra than what he needs and leaves the rest for mercy. it’s these small things that make him feel, just the slightest, better about himself.

because god - there are layers and layers of self-loathing. it’s a labyrinth, and he’d never speak of it - but he can’t stand his own reflection. doesn’t keep photos of his family, only a few sparingly of mercy.

a liar, sad to say. has little experience with. ehem. intimacy, and the bodies of others, but lies often and says that he does. mostly to his brother, but word travels quick - and he’s not nearly as much as a fuckboy as is rumored, having only been with a handful of girls, if even that. it’s better this way - if people know that he throws others away like they’re nothing.

he ghosts often, too, if he does get to talking with anybody. the moment ducky feels a spark, something pulling at his poor heart, he ghosts. he develops feelings too easily, too often than he’d like. has left many friendships without explanation, because of this. you know the priest in fleabag season 2? the scene where he comes to fleabag’s house? yeah. tht’s ducky!

has maybe half the amount of clients that mercy does, but he’s working on it.

pretends he doesn’t care as much as he does. pretends a lot, like there’s nothing soft to him. but a trained eye can see clearly through this. even so - even if you can see that there’s more to ducky than violence and drug deals - you’d still have to break through a dozen walls.

in the rare occasion you get him talking - i mean, talking a lot - he’ll talk about space. ramble off a dozen useless facts about dwarf stars and black holes and all of jupiter’s moons. about a video game he likes, about nothing and everything at all. but as soon as he begins, he stops - embarrassed. apologizes, shuts his mouth, disappears to wherever. anywhere but there.

drug abuse // has a. complicated relationship with benzos n xanax n a various assortment of painkillers. ironic bc he hates drugs due to. his chosen career n wldnt do most of what they sell, bt yknow. this ws inevitable. hates beer bt forces himself 2 drink it bc toxic masculinity probably man idk.

overall just … he’s a soft boy, with a big heart - bigger than anybody else in his family, that’s for sure, but his exterior is far different than that, and it’s hard to tell.

violence mention // purposely loses fights so that he doesn’t have to severely hurt someone. because sometimes he just - he was raised in a violent environment, and sometimes he snaps. sometimes ducky just fucking snaps. and his vision goes red, and he can’t control himself - because need to survive kicks in, and violence is all he knows. if someone pushes ducky - pushes him enough, he breaks. he fights back. it’s all he knows. it’s all he knows. it’s all he knows, and that’s not an excuse - and he knows this, and god, he’s so tired. he is so. tired.

wanted plots.

u look good tonight ... ;; wld love a connection in which he is feeling emotionally compromised n maybe kinda hs a thing w someone bt hes like. very unreliable n kinda ghosting bc he is very afraid n it wld b maybe bad fr them to b anything other than hook ups. cld apply to smth very intensive or smth very surface lvl i’ll take thousands.

palms sweaty ... moms spaghetti ... ;; ppl tht ducky just hs fkn brawled. cld b anybody fr any reason. ducky prob lost n he prob lost on purpose bt also ur muse cld maybe kick ducky’s ass? cld b a fake fight cld b a real fight. cld b a npc fight n then ur muse cn patch up ducky? possibilities endless. maybe they hv a nice spaghetti dinner n both of them r both bruised up frm their fight. sometimes fights end in spaghetti dinners. thanks eminnem or whatever.

own worse enemy... ;; ducky needs friends bt hes bad at making friends n sometimes he fks shit up by pushing ppl away n self sabotaging n being a major cunt n sometimes he just ghosts bt hes always very remorseful abt it? this cld b a very like. up n down friendship of any type its just. where do they stand. r they friends. r they enemies. r they lovers? probably not lovers. prob just platonic. but still its the thought tht counts. 

and also ;; literally just like. anything. clients who buy off of him n like. casual friends n casual enemies n casual hookups. ppl hes ghosted. ppl hes embarrassed himself in front of. maybe ur muse tries to get ducky to socialize or maybe ducky is like. u are too much fr me. n ur muse runs off crying. endless possibilities all u hv to do is call this number now. 

[tfw-no-tennis]

hunty x hunty we back bitches!!!!

ok so tbh we’ve BEEN back ive just been slacking on posting my liveblogs. n e ways

ok so ngl we DID watch these eps like a month ago so bear w/me here as i try to remember things hvbhdkjfhsk

ok so they show up at heavens arena and i CALLED IT its that building thats in the opening (thats probs p obvs but still lol) 

killua casually mentioning that he was here for TWO YEARS previously like jesus kid ur life is wild

ruth and i spent like this whole time trying to guess if killua knows what nen is lmao and i was like ok im sure theres nen at heavens arena how could he NOT have come across it but also WHO KNOWS

i love how easy is is for 2 twelve year olds to join Death Tower Fight Club lmao 

i mean tbf killua was here when he was literally 6 

seeing killua and gon dunk on people by 1 hit koing them was great lmao 

the fact that killua spent all his previous earnings on snacks....king 

ZUSHIIIIII hes baby and hes so precious i love him already. baby boy baby. theres like a 0% chance hes evil or something bc hes so baby and hes named ZUSHI it reminds me of zucchini for some reason 

ok when zushi uses nen (im assuming?) and killua was like oh shit illumi can do that....bro i CALLED it illumi totally has nen and its MIND CONTROL NEN or something. i still dk how nen works tbh

wing is slightly sus and im worried he might be evil. but also probably not mostly cause i dont thnk this arc is that long but WHO KNOWS 

wing when zushi starts nen-ing it up during Fight Club: HEY NONE OF THAT NOW [spray bottles him] 

i love that gon and killua are both like well that was weird. ok guess we’ll just str8 up ask zushi abt it lmao 

when the subs popped up as Ren ruth and i were like nooooo freakin way the subs mistranslated nen. but it TURNS OUT that nen has OTHER components like ten and ren and uhhh the other ones too. jesus 

i mean i knew this shit was gonna b detailed but Still 

ok but ren is literally just weaponized vibes. vibe check 

[vibes rlly hard] GET REN’D ON 

as i was watching wings explanation i was like hmmm this seems incomplete. and then immediately killua said that same thing...vindication!!

ok when wing uses nen on that book page and slices the soda and gives a big explanation abt why he wasnt totally truthful w/gon and killua and zushi is just like .....ok but that was my soda :( and i was gonna read that book :( :( or w/e hvsjdfuahbsjjfdnka i love him SO MUCH....BABYYYY

totally off-topic but lemme talk transformers rl quick ok so in the tf idw comics drift is all edgy and then he meets a guy named Wing who shows him all the spiritual/religious stuff and drift becomes a space hippy (its been a while okay) and now im like yo is that guy a hxh ref? cause wing is kind of a weird name for a transformer and the spiritual ‘aura’ stuff is similar. idk if that has any basis lmao i just made that connection. anyways moving on 

i love how it took killua 2 yrs to get to the 200th floor and now he and gon get there in like 3 days or w/e

200th floor time! uhm is that receptionist lady like. Good

as soon as the rancid aura appeared i was like UUUUAHGHHGHGHGHHHH I KNOW WHO THAT IS!!!!!!!!!! TRASH CAN ASS HISOKA 

i kinda figured he’d be here...im curious if gon will succeed in doin the Big Punchy here 

hisoka using his rancid vibes to drive them back....fuck on outta here nasty ass 

i love how gon just. loses his domestication whenever hisoka is around. gon is literally so nice to EVERYONE he meets EXCEPT for hisoka (and illumi). god i love him best boy. he has a gr8 vibe detector and can tell that hisoka is nasty and evil 

wing: ok FINE ill teach you The Real Deal Nen 

ITS NEN TIME BABEYYYYYY

the fact that 8 yr old killua just peaced out at floor 199 or w/e and was like Fuq the 200th floor im out. and of COURSE the 200th floor is The Nen Zone(tm) so he just left, blissfully unaware of nen LMAOOO

and now he HAS to register to fight or he’ll be banned from heavens arena...Ls 

i keep wanting to call it the tower of heaven....get out of my BRAIN f*iry t*il 

ok uhhhh lets stop here 

PREDICTION CORNER 

actally i cant rlly do this part bc its been so long so ider what i thought of ripppp. im gonna try to stay up to date on my liveblogs (we’re on like ep 45 now lol)

1 idea: so gon is gonna successfully punch hisoka and then hisoka will unfortunately NOT go away for whatever reason and will become a nuisance (even moreso than he already is) rather than an Actual Threat 

tune in next time for more HUNTY x HUNTY 

[kkamist]

tags (ღ˘⌣˘ღ)

ok so ive been tagged in different tags by different people ,,, nd have procrastinated on actually doing them ,, so i decided to compile all of them in one post !!

warning: this will be a v long post ,, read only if u wanna ,, know more abt me i guess (why would u lmAO)

fact tag?? i guess

rules: tag 9 people you want to get to know better and answer the questions

was tagged by maria !! @s0ftminho ♡ඩ⌔ඩ♡

Relationship status: single

Favourite colour: yellow,, peach,, nd black

Top 3 ships: oof idk?? oo nomin probably !!

Lipstick or chapstick: i dont use them :”)

Last song: im listening to gfriend - rough rn!

Last movie: spiderman homecoming hAHHAHA ( i was doing a mini marvel marathon bc my dad had the movies and didnt ! tell ! me ! but i uh stopped there lmao )

Top 3 shows: i dont watch shows often,, but i do rly like knowing brothers, night goblin :”) nd its dangerous outside the blanket! oooo theres also cafe amor that is p cute too !!

Currently reading: ok if manga counts, kimi no todoke nd bnha ,, if not ,, waking gods by sylvain neuvel (but i paused like ,, last yr prob hAHHA)

kpop + music tag!

ok so i was tagged by @01yoonjin to do ,, both of these tags if im not wrong,, and @maetaamong tagged me for the music shuffle tag and @hyuunjins tagged me for the kpop tag thingy aha

music shuffle tag

rules: put all of your phone’s music library – no playlists! – on shuffle. list the first ten songs that play. bold the song(s) that lift your mood and italicise the song(s) that makes you the most emotional. then tag ten people!

mad city - nct 127

campfire - svt

us now - vixx

hold me tight - bts

talk me down  - troye sivan

paradise - nct 127

too good - troye sivan

grr 총량의 법칙 - skz

another world - nct 127

blue - troye sivan ft alex hope

kpop tag

rules: answer the questions!

1) 5 favorite groups?

skz

nct

nuest

sf9

w1

2) Top 5 on your bias list? (no particular order)

hyunjin

(lee) chan

(lee) mark

chanhee

jr (jonghyun)

3) Ult Bias group and why you love them?

oof ok i,,, dont know? im not the type to actually Stay ulting a group?? like ill stan then ,,, then,, get into another grp,,, yeah,,,, im not v loyal aa my friends always ask what grps i stan and im liek ,,,,, idk,,,, i stan a Lot,,, (that was a real convo between a new friend i made weeks ago) but i guess,, atm its skz? their music is,, my taste? like the meaning of it nd all,, and uh theyre also v v fun to b with,, there isnt a moment when i dont smile whenever i see one of their vids or during their vlives :”) tbh what i like the most in groups i stan is their humor lmao,,, like if theyre v funny, i automatically love them even more :”))

4) Ult Bias and why you love them?

again,,, idk man,, i dont think i even Ult hAHHA ok but i ,, rlly like bae jinyoung nd chani hHAHHA ok but also ,,,, hyunjin. that boy,,,,,  id do anything for him tbh ,,  also bjy wasnt even mentioned in  2 but,,, i rlly love him ,, like idk,, i dont stan w1 as much now but ,, whenever i see him im like :-))))) (same goes for chani aa) fiuwe idk y i like them sm tho aa

5) Favorite Kpop Meme

iiiiii dont have any guawdeij

6) Favorite pic of your ult? (I dare you to only pick one)

ok what,,, i dont even know my ult hAHAH

7) 5 Favorite Kpop MVs

dont stop - twice (this is in jap tho,, does it count?)

nuest - daybreak

blooming days - exo cbx

you&me - kisum

go - nct dream

8) 10 Favorite Kpop songs?

vivid - loona/heejin

heart attack - loona/chuu

singing in the rain - loona/jinsoul

scentist - vixx

boss - nct u

rollercoaster - chungha

shine - pentagon

blooming days - exo cbx

trigger - vixx

my valentine - vixx

nd a lot more auief

9) Favorite Kpop crack video?

oof i dont watch crack often-

10) Favorite content creator within the fandom?

all of them!! :”)

11) What fandoms would you say you’re an active member of?

aa atm the sk fandom !! i was q active in the svt fandom in my main blog but i dont make content anymore :-( i do want to b active in other grps (like nct nd sf9 nd mayb nuest) but i dont have enough Commitment to run other blogs at the same time :”)))

12) Take your top 3 biases- fmk

these arent my top 3 but-

F(riendly convo with) - murk leeeee

M - oof tbh id marry seungcheol or mingYU OmG :-)))))))) hes not my bias but ,, hes such husband material tbh ,,,,,,,,

K - lee chan bc he,, keeps Killing me w those looks even when im tryna stan another grp ughrei

13) If you could be best friends with any idol, who would you choose?

chani? or chenle!! for chani ,, we’re q similar nd we both like chicken !!!!!!!!!!!! so yes. for chenle ,, we’re also kinda similar but we def have the same humor ,,, which is always great  :^)))))

14) If you could date any idol, who?

hm,,, tbh these days ive been feeling Soft for mark (lee) nd !! also bjy ,,,, ahHa im sorry hyunjin yshvriIHFED

15) What’s one Kpop album you think everyone should have listened to?

vixx - eau de vixx bc nO ONE i know talks abt it :-((((

16) Are you a soft or a hard stan?

swoft??? or medium idK HAHAH

17) An idol that makes you go into soft mode?

100% hyunjin,,, Also bjy.

18) An idol that makes you want to smash the empire state building with one single punch?

o man is also hyunjin aLSO mark lee :-))))))))))

19) Favorite vocalist?

oof hm,, defo seungkwan ,,, seokmin,,, basically svt’s vocal team :-))) oOF reading this again ,, yo haechan???? God tier vocals,,, pls stan nct :-)))

20) Favorite Rapper?

oo ok so i watched high school rapper nd i really like osshun? nd oH bang jaemin :”) aa i need to watch s2 soon jgafiue

in terms of idols, defo 3racha,,, theyre So Good uiahrfiu

21) Favorite dancer?

aAA in terms of girls: cHUNGHA!! for boys its ,, basically all of svt performance team nd,, ten and taeyong- (i like a lot of dancers its hard to choose ifajoiwe)

22) Things you have in common with your ult?

ok i,, dk my ult but ill just do it w the idols i put in in that q - for hyunjin i feel like we ,, both struggle w cooking lmAo nd have troubles waking up early :”) ,, actually now that i think abt it,, were both v quiet nd shy but when u get to know us? were v Loud nd savage (same w bjy nd chani) also again ,, chani likes chicken, i do too so :-)))))))

23) The mot beautiful trait any idol can have?

hm,, confidence? it takes a lot for someone to just go on stage and sing/dance etc,, like i would Never b able to do that- (proven today: had a skit and had a shaky voice the whole time , also laughed alot oops)

24) Songs that will always make you jam along?

vIVID by heejin nd singing in the rain by jinsoul nD ALL THE OTHER LOONA SONGS-

also rock by skz !!!!! nd nd omg rollercoaster by chungha nd,,, scentist by vixx nd many others hAHAH

25) Your worst wrecker?

in skz its ,,,,,,,, ***** :-)) also nomin have been wrecking me these days ,, rip

26) Any kpop concerts you’ve been to?

0 bc my parents wont let me :-(

27) Favorite choreo?

there r too many-

28) Favorite live performance?

also too many- but i do like concert performances where the fans sing along too- like those Hit me in the feels everytime (eg: smile flower - svt!!!) iahfnie (does this even count lmao)

29) Favorite debut mv?

adore u- svt !! (3rd anniv coming up ihHIWU)

30) Recommend a rookie group

skz obv, loona, unb ,, (g)i-dle !!

31) A kpop song you could listen to every day for the rest of your life?

there is a Lot but prob vivid - heejin hAHAH I RLLY LIKE THAT SONG AUWIFHIAU

20 question tag!

rules: answer 20 questions and then tag twenty people you want to get to know better

i was tagged by em !! @realstraykids  (´∀｀)♡

name: hazirah (oo name reveal :^))

nickname(s): haz

zodiac sign: scorpio

height: i am smoller than em ,, barely 5 feet :-)))))))))

languages spoken: ok ,, eng, malay, arabic, uuuh tiiiiiny bit of chinese and im now (kind of) self learning korean :^)

nationality: singaporean

favourite season: ok we dont have fall in sg,, but fall !!

favourite flowers: baby’s breath!

favourite scents: the scent of fried chicken :-)) or fresh laundry ,,, also petrol smell :-) 

favourite color: i answered above but yellow, peach nd black

favourite animal: shiba inus !!

favourite fictional characters: mmmm kacchan nd aizawa nD TODOROKI IFIAEUR HOW COULD I FORGET HIM O Mg frm bnha !! also baz nd simon frm the book carry on, simon by raindow rowell (one of my fav books tbh) ,,,, also tanaka frm tanaka kun is always listless bc hes goals tbh. ALSO oMg USUI TAKUMI FRM KAICHOU WA MAID SAMA OH MY GODUIHF

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: ok in cold countries i Always get hot chocolate,, here in sg i always get green tea,, or ice lemon tea sometimes :-)))

average sleeping hours: 5-6

dog or cat person: both but more towards cats tbh

number of blankets you sleep with: 1

dream trip: the world !! or like japan/england ,, 

blog established: feb 1 2018

followers: a number :-)

random fact: mmmmmmmm i broke my fast w two of my friends last night nd caught up w each other nd im v happy :-)))))

nd thats the end !! (not really,, theres like 2 slefie tags but i have 0 pics oops) but if you read through all this,, congratulations,, you probably know me more than my classmates :-))))

[expectoepatronums]

we are all fools in love

A/N: Jumping on the textfic bandwagon. This was so much fun to write, I completely understand the obsession now. Title from pride and prejudice (the book)

James Potter to Lily Evans: do u think my english lit paper could just be a review of the kira knightly pride and prejudice movie

Lily Evans: james it is 3am

James Potter: yes it is

Lily Evans: pls go to sleep

James Potter: cant this is too important 

Lily Evans: im not even in english lit ask remus

James Potter: hes asleep lily obvs it is 3am

Lily Evans: wow what a novel concept 

James Potter: but actually have you seen the kira knightly p&p its so good

Lily Evans: ofc i have ive been in love with mr darcy since i was 10 

James Potter: lily evans! how could you?!! in love with another man?!!! i am heartbroken!

Lily Evans: i am going to sleep now

James Potter: wait i actually need to know do u think i can write my paper on that

James Potter: lily? 

James Potter: lily im not kidding

Lily Evans has left the conversation. 

Sirius Black to Lily Evans: can u pls make ur boyfriend shut up abt pride and prejudice

Lily Evans: sorry i think hes ur boyfriend in this situation

Lily Evans: that reminds me can you make ur boyfriend shut up about pride and prejudice

Peter Pettigrew to is this a cool chat name?: hey prongs isnt ur 6 month anniversary with lily coming up?

James Potter: ya

James Potter: we’re going to a rlly nice dinner

James Potter: im surprising her

James Potter: theres going to be a violinist. and roses

Remus Lupin: jeez james how long have you been planning this?

James Potter: only like, 7 months

Remus Lupin: that was a logical decision

Sirius Black: gotta be prepared moony

Peter Pettigrew: i cant believe prongs will have been dating lily for 6 months on october 24th at 5:06pm its truly amazing she hasnt dumped you yet

James Potter: thanks for the vote of confidence pete

Remus Lupin: pete why do you know the exact minute they got together 

Sirius Black: well obviously he marked it in his calendar like the rest of us

Sirius Black: i cant believe you havent recorded the momentous event moony shame on you

Remus Lupin: you own a calendar?

James Potter: actually it was 5:07 

James Potter: just so u know 

Peter Pettigrew: my whole life is a lie

Sirius Black to James Potter: not coming to chem today 

James Potter: u dont take chem

James Potter: neither do i

Sirius Black: then what is the sciencey class where you evans and i sit in the back and make fun of giles the entire time

James Potter: physics

Sirius Black: r u sure

James Potter: yes

James Potter: yesterday u asked giles what exactly a physic was

James Potter: he did not find it funny

Sirius Black: yes but everyone else did 

James Potter: on the contrary lily just rolled her eyes

Sirius Black: good god prongs do u catalogue everything evans does y are you so disgustingly in love

James Potter: i dont catalogue im just perceptive

Sirius Black: r u kidding me last week sabrina morgan asked you out and you didnt even realize it

Sirius Black: and then u had to chase her down and tell her that u had a girlfriend who you were very much in love with and that u did not actually want to go out

James Potter: i dont see what that has to do with anything 

Sirius Black: thank you for proving my point

Sirius Black to yes remus i own a calendar im not a barbarian: I HAVE THE BEST IDEA FOR GRAD PRANK

Remus Lupin: if it involves balloons filled with maple syrup again sirius im leaving this chat 

Sirius Black: i would never do that again moony im not boring

Sirius Black: this time its balloons filled with molasses 

Remus Lupin has left the conversation.

James Potter: really sirius? molasses?

Sirius Black: in hindsight it may actually be worse than maple syrup

Sirius Black: back to the drawing board

Peter Pettirgew: wait i want to hear the idea 

Lily Evans to Remus Lupin: why is james being weird

Remus Lupin: what are you talking about 

Remus Lupin: he always looks like that 

Lily Evans: mary macdonald just asked him if he had any plans this weekend and he almost jumped out of his seat 

Lily Evans: and now he’s tapping his pencil against the desk. he only does that when he’s nervous 

Lily Evans: youre sitting right next to me how have you not noticed

Remus Lupin: idk you’re gonna have to ask him

Lily Evans: i tried

Lily Evans: he just said ‘err nothing why would you ask that hey did you see that movie’ and then he rambled on about some netflix documentary

Remus Lupin: that seems pretty par for the course to me

Lily Evans: come on remus

Remus Lupin: idk ask sirius

Lily Evans to Sirius Black: why is james being weird

Sirius Black: what r u talking about

Sirius Black: he always looks like that

Lily Evans to Peter Pettigrew: why is james being weird

Peter Pettigrew: idk what youre talking about

Peter Pettigrew: hes totally fine

Peter Pettigrew: nothings going on

Peter Pettigrew: just yesterday he told me he was feeling as normal as ever

Peter Pettigrew: hes definitely totally completely fine 

Peter Pettigrew has left the conversation.

James Potter to james is going to a fancy dinner hes so grown up: EMERGENCY: WHAT DO I WEAR

Peter Pettigrew: a suit?

Sirius Black: nothing

Remus Lupin: a nice shirt and a tie

James Potter: okay i have found something crisis averted

Sirius Black: breaking news: james learns to dress himself

Remus Lupin: we’re so proud of him for his achievement

James Potter changed the chat name to ‘james is going to a fancy dinner hes so grown up UNLIKE THE REST OF YOU’

Sirius Black: i feel personally victimized and attacked

Remus Lupin: i think that was the point

Peter Pettigrew: hey! i didn’t say anything!

James Potter changed the chat name to ‘james is going to a fancy dinner hes so grown up UNLIKE THE REST OF YOU minus peter’

Peter Pettigrew: thank you

Lily Evans to James Potter: thank you for tonight

Lily Evans: it was wonderful

James Potter: glad you liked it 

James Potter: these 6 months have been the best of my life

Lily Evans: mine too

James Potter: hey lily?

Lily Evans: yeah?

James Potter: i love you

Lily Evans: i love you too

Remus Lupin to James Potter: how did it go last night?

James Potter: it went great

James Potter: she loved it

James Potter: i did cut myself on one of the roses tho

Remus Lupin: oh my god

James Potter: there was a little bit of blood but i survived

Remus Lupin: glad to hear it

James Potter: on another note, do you think McGonagall will accept my english lit paper if its titled “‘Lizzie B Takes No Shit’ and Other Take Aways From Pride and Prejudice (2005)”

Remus Lupin has left the conversation

Sirius Black to fambam: BREAKING NEWS: JAMES POTTER AND LILY EVANS ARE SNOGGING IN THE CAF

Remus Lupin: sirius theyve been dating for six months

Sirius Black: IK BUT IT NEVER GETS LESS EXCITING

Lily Evans: glad to know you find us entertaining

James Potter: what did you expect lil? were like elizabeth and darcy

Sirius Black: does that make me bingley

Remus Lupin: p sure im bingley

Lily Evans: guys its obviously pete

Peter Pettigrew: aww thanks i think also is now a good time to mention that ive never actually seen this movie

James Potter: WHAT????!!!!!!!??????!!!!

[saintkimora]

well here is how my past 3-5 dates w joel have gone this past week

so! ive been spending the night w him p much every other night. so our 4th date was like 8 days ago. i got there and i THOUGHT we were gonna be in his room again but we were in his room for 2 seconds then he came in like “oh btw my roommates are making us go in the living room and be social” so i was like ..................................................rip i was like here i go its time for the caleb and leeann applebees date 2.0 :/ so we went in to the living room and it was with marissa and lindsey bc his other roommate was out. so everyone was like wtf are we gonna do so after some talking joel decided we would all watch the babadook on netflix since we were talking about the meme and most of us hadnt seen it. i hate scary movies but i figured i could get through it since i had joel to hold on to and since the babadook is like a meme now. so yeah it was fine i got along ok w the roommates and the movie wasnt that scary except for one part. there was one point where i felt like i was starting to shut down a little and i was feeling bad about possibly ruining things again but i asked joel afterwards and he didnt even notice lmao so i dont think it was as bad as i thought

lindsey went to bed halfway through the movie so it was just me joel and marissa by the end. after the movie marissa went into her room and joel and i went back to his room. idk if this next part happened at this point or if it happened on our next date bc its hard for me to keep the timeline straight since it all happens so fast lol so regardless of what day it was this was the next significant thing that happened w me and joel

so i was watching him play overwatch or something and his brother called him on the phone and they had a long conversation about joels financial situation while i was just sitting there lol. so afterwards joel put his head in my lap and explained all his problems to me about how hes so stressed out with money and stuff. and like obv i felt really bad for him bc that sucks. BUT i actually kinda liked it bc i liked how vulnerable and genuine he was being! it made me feel a lot closer to him. then we watched these olds 80s (?) game shows w his head still in my lap (one of them was like some knockoff of snatch game but w regular celebrities instead of drag queens omg) and he had the FUNNIEST commentary about all the old commercials and stuff lol i havent laughed that hard in a LONG time so it was really nice

and idk if this happened that night or the babadook night but i ate his ass again and once again it was a religious experience like his ass is SOOOOOOOO nice i still cant get over it lmao

so then fast forward to the next 2 days later and for whatever reason joel and i werent planning on meeting that night. but he texted me at like 2am telling me he was feeling kinda down about things and how he wished i was there w him rn so i decided to go visit him! and like he kept being like “i dont wanna bother you/i feel bad about always making you come all the way out here for me” and how he wasnt used to guys putting in so much effort and caring about him so much and like...it really wasnt that serious like it wasnt a hindrance to me at all bc i wanted to see him anyways lol but it did make me feel kinda bad for him bc like his old bfs must have been real flops for him to view me just doing decent bf things as like these grand gestures. i have more to say on this but it will be towards the end of the post

so yeah i showered and got there by like 3am. he set up his futon since it was bigger than his bed so we would have more room. and he talked to me about how stressed he was about money and medical school applications and how he felt kinda worthless so i listened to him and comforted him and all that stuff. then we watched the rpdr reunion together and it was SO much fun omg he was shook p much the whole time since it was so iconic. then we went to sleep since i had work in the morning

also like the night after that we were texting and i told him i was really tired and he was like but youre never tired and i was like ya but i had 2 full days of work and i barely got any sleep last night (which was bc i was awake w him until like 5am) and i realized afterwards that it was kinda mean of me to say it bc to me i was just explaining why i was tired but he was already feeling like a burden making me drive all the way there and comfort him so telling him how tired i was probably made him feel bad about asking me for comfort which is NOT how i want him to feel bc i want him to be able to request my help whenever he needs it. so i could tell he was kinda caught off guard by me saying it so i called him and apologized and we cleared it all up. anyways it was just nice to actually call him and discuss the issue and resolve it without any drama. and he said it meant a lot that i even called him to make sure he was feeling ok so it seems that at least i did something right 

there was the next date which was pretty much the same as usual. this time i watched him play diablo 3. but this time we also fooled around and he made me cum and then i was trying to make him cum but i fell asleep bc i was so tired asfnkjashdasna i felt SOOOOOOOOO bad when i woke up that morning :( i apologized and he said it was fine and he was tired too but i still felt bad about it

so then last night/this morning was our most recent date. when i got there a friend of him/his roommates named chris was using his room bc he was playing overwatch so i had to hang out w joel marissa and lindsey in the living room. it was extremely nerve wracking and i was sweating like crazy but i tried to hide my nervousness and socialize. lindsey and marissa seem to like me esp bc i brought joel a gift that day (hes like obsessed w friends and i saw a friends t shirt when i was shopping that day so i got it for him lol) also lindsey is iconic bc she is so wacky shes always getting on the floor and doing weird poses and moves and stunts. and marissa is p funny so i like them both. but still having to talk to them was stressful even though theyre both really nice. lindsey walked into joels room later that night when he was laying down and i was sitting on top of him and said she wanted to join and then later when joel was in the kitchen she came in the doorway and asked if i could be her boyfriend asfjkafndsjnkajs now THIS is a cracked queen

so the rest of the night was nice! we watched like 3 drag race s5 eps on amazon video and we did lots of cuddling and stuff as usual. then we went to bed and we woke up and we fooled around and we BOTH came this time. it was difficult for me trying to get him to cum but i had to power through it bc i had to redeem myself after last time. then i watched him play overwatch and then i watched him play destiny. i really enjoyed it! like i was sitting there cuddling a cute guy and watching him play videogames w both of us shirtless like that is literally all i want and i finally have it!

so yeah! its going really well w joel at the moment. we get along really well and i like his sense of humor and its nice having someone w similar interests to mine! and i love playing w his hair and touching his nice soft belly and his thick thighs and playing w his beard. and i looooooooooooooooooooovvvveeeeeee his voice so much omg the way he says certain words is so cute and hes always making cute weird noises and its super endearing. and i LOVE love love being able to cuddle w someone until we both fall asleep and then waking up together! its so nice 

he doesnt seem to be losing interest in me yet which is good. however this is the issue that i mentioned earlier that i would come back to. so hes constantly telling me about how hes not used to being w someone that puts in so much effort and treats him so well. so that got me thinking. like...obv he likes me at least a little but i have a feeling he might like me a lot more rn bc he isnt used to being treated so nicely. so like, after the initial novelty of being treated like this wears off im afraid he’ll realize he doesnt actually like me that much (like if it ends up being more of a he likes the way i make him feel more than he actually likes me as a person). so im kinda worried about that but im hoping it doesnt happen obv and that he continues to like me. and again. we’ve been in somewhat social situations together now since i had to talk to his 2 roommates but it really wasnt easy for me at all. and we still havent actually gone “out” and done something, like going out to eat or attending a function together or something. so i still have to wait and see how we’re able to interact in those situations before i can determine whether our relationship will work out. im also still too nervous to eat in front of him so whenever he asks if im hungry i lie and say no even though majority of the time i am actually really hungry :/ rip

so yeah thats p much it! its pretty nice atm, except for the issues i just mentioned. also last night joel told me that one of his hookup buddies was back in town the other day and texted him but he had to turn him down and tell him that he is with someone now (me) so that was nice to know! since he seems to view us as exclusive now. we still havent officially decided we are in a relationship but im really in no rush to do that since its only been like a week and a half so i want to continue getting to know him and stuff. i still do feel that he is gonna lose interest at some point but rn it seems that will be later rather than sooner so i am just trying to take it day by day. im also worried about greece since ill be gone for a month so it is very possible that he might meet someone else that he likes more during that time which would really suck. but im kinda just operating on the assumption that its what is gonna happen that way if it does happen i wont be too shocked and if it doesnt happen ill be pleasantly surprised

so yeah thats it, overall its going really well and im having a lot of fun with him! hopefully things continue on this path and we get even closer bc i really like him so far

[survivorwakea]

Episode 4: “WHO MADE THE FUCKING ALLIANCE?” -Chloe

We just won another challenge here on Huamea which is lit. I think we are going to swap soon, but if not and we go to tribal with this tribe I think I’ll be fine. I’m still set up with randy Elmo and Ian well, and I think we could successfully target Joey if needed

Well another sit out for me but I’d say it was a good decision. We got 1st place and I don’t think I would have been the most helpful in this one. Really appreciate my tribe mates for coming through tho. Now I’m just wondering if there is going to be a swap. If there isn’t then we have to sit out three people on the tribe. Aka sitting out pretty much everyone who did the last one. As per usual, I’m very busy this week. Hoping I can find enough time to help in the challenge so that we can win or at least not come in last. I still have no alliances...but I think that’s okay for now. I think I’m in a good place with Jared and Elmo. We had each other’s backs if we went to tribal after the music video but we didn’t have to go. Joey also told me before results that he wouldn’t vote for me if we lost. Hoping that these promises or positive thoughts will continue farther into the game. At least until we get to jury. I also want to publicly own up to the fact that I still don’t know how the idol system works and I just don’t have the energy for it. So I’m just gonna pretend it doesn’t exist. Yep. That’ll do.

I was going to do a video confessional, but I high key got lazy and dont have too much to say

we won again which is great. I truly do feel like I kinda carried the team in a challenge I wasn't that great at, but it was really an all around effort and I'm glad we stayed.

I really do think I am in everybody's top 1-2 on this tribe except for the potential of Zack as well, but I like him a lot so I wouldn't want to see him go.

Nothing makes me want to win like when I have a tribe full of people I genuinely like. If I can help it, i really want to get to the merge without having lost another challenge due to my lost vote that I still haven't had to use yet, so I need those to be as spread a part as possible, and I don't want people to suspect me

those are kinda my only thoughts for now. hoping we don't swap until 14 and we get another round in these tribes, then a swap at 14 and merge at 12 (since my legacy advantage basically tells us we're merging at 12)

justin said he feels like a double might be happening sometime soon, but I'm not so sure about that just because of cullan getting expelled, and I feel the hosts would now elongate it a bit, but we'll see

im chillin for now

anna is ab to check confessionals and i can’t remember if i made one so this is my confessional.... johnny is rly nice to me and it scares me bc what if he is PLAYING ME.... and zack is also rly nice to me and that scares me TOO.... justin don’t fuckin talk to me and bodhi and asya barely do..... u know what 15th looks kinda cute rn bc i think that’s my destiny..... we floppin 🤪

Well, it’s still pretty quiet over at the Haumea camp. My tribemates kicked ass at the immunity challenge (sometimes, it pays to submit early), and I’m still getting along with everyone very well. I have suspicions that we could be switched up again next round, but hey, what do I know?

not much game development, im still attempting to keep my connections afloat in my tribe, i think ive now talked game with everyone and generally im in a rly good position, i dont wanna get too cocky bc that could lead to my downfall. I think that after this round we could potentially swap again to 2 tribes of 8. That would be kinda wild and I'm here for it

sry for a short one

I don't know if I should be sad, disappointed, angry, or all of the above. Losing this challenge was rough, and it's pretty evident the majority of the effort came from Adam, next would be myself. Clohie and Tom put little to no effort in the challenge. As stated before Tom's approach to the game has been pretty lackadaisical. He has hardly put any effort into not only the challenges but just his day to day interactions with the castaways. When I wanted to form the alliance with him and Clohie, he didn't relay the information to Clohie. And when Clohie indirectly asked him he didn't even acknowledge the possible alliance then either. I guess what I'm saying is...I want Tom out! Since this swap I have had my best relationship in Clohie, I like Adam, but I can tell he's a smart guy...so I'll keep him at a distance for now. I really do want to try and get Tom out though as a test of Clohie's loyalty to see if she would vote out one of her own. I think I have put myself in the situation where everyone feels comfortable with me moving forward, so I don't foresee my name being written down but I could be wrong, it is Survivor after all. I'm assuming we're coming to another swap, I just hope I'll have allies going into it, and if not allies, challenge beasts please. 3 out of 4 tribals isn't a good look😬 And can we talk about the idol system, all I have to say is: I HATE ALL OF YOU (to whoever helped put it together) G'Day.

Haha idk what the fuck is happening right now. So Tom can go and talk about our alliance with Taylor, with Adam. But still hasn’t mentioned it to me? Ok 🙃 I could easily vote Tom out here but idk I feel like he’s loyal? Maybe?? But then again I know him more than Adam and Taylor and that’s maybe why I wanna keep him even if I know he’s probably trying to fuck me over rn

hiii! this round went so quick?? idk it just zoomed by in my opinion haha. listen.. we won immunity and i’m grateful. another week safe with my idol so i’m just getting closer and closer to merge. i’m hoping for a swap soon and i’m expecting it. i would love if me elmo and justin got on a tribe together that way we can start to actualllllly work together and show eachother our trust that way once merge comes we can just kill it! not much happened this round but i’m just feeling grateful and wanted to let you all know! y’all are great host and i’m having so much fun. Xoxo

Heading into this next challenge, I feel great. I have a tight bond with Jared, Lily and I just so happen to be in the same friend group chat, and have been talking alot, Elmo is awesome, but the two that worry me are Ian and Ben. Ben and I haven’t talked much, and once again, Ian is preventing me from trying to build a bond by just building a ridiculous wall up. Maybe he isnt cut out for these games tbh.

Well it's either Adam or Taylor. Chloe wants Taylor to stay. I don't really care who stays xD I'm probably gonna random.org this vote, I do not know to if I want Adam or Taylor here. Plus that random ass alliance chat doesn't help

tribe assessment:

jared - out of everyone i get probably the most loyal vibes from him, idk what it is. he's rly genuine whenever i talk to him. i think the fact that we played a game like over 3 years ago means a lot to him. i wouldnt be v shook if he somehow schemed against me at some point at early-mid merge or something. right now i think he wants to work with me for the long term

ben - ive been talking to him a lot from the beginning. i think that he's with me for now, i for sure think that he's going to make a move on me later on though, im not sure when but for now i trust him and i think i can work with him. I think if numbers r close at the merge he'd want to side w me. I'm not sure how well connected he is. I like talking to him but he works a lot (what a king tbh) so that probs hinders his ability talk a lot

lily - she is not the most active, which is sad because she is a kickass player. If she gets too far in this game, that could potentially be a problem, if we are not working closely together that is. She's EXTREMELY loyal and i think that if i keep talkin to her, she'd want to work with me for the long term. Potentially I think that she should be in my end game but obvs its way too early to say that

ian - he is one of the more quieter ppl but the more u talk to him, the more u get out of him and I'm starting to notice that. I think that we have a pretty solid connection over all and I rly like talking to him! he is p different than I am so that gives me good perspective. game wise, i havent had a lot of discussions with him yet but im working on it a lot bc i think he could be someone i have potential with

joey - hes nice. he doesnt talk a lot which is kinda weird. he said that he has my back but im not sure if he said that out of keeping himself away from my radar or if he actually meant it. I am not really sure? I wouldn't be very surprised if Jared hinted to him that I could potentially be lookin to vote him out. I think that there is POTENTIAL of me working with him but i think if i had to choose someone who i'd want to vote out, it would probably be him.

i could be totally oblivious about my situation but i genuinely think that im in a v strong position in this tribe. I believe i have potential (i think) to work with everyone on our tribe which i really like.  This is all based on intuition though so i could be TOTALLY Wrong. The fact that we never lost just means that I have no solid proof or claims. Only my own perceptions. Idw be cocky in this game, it has been my downfall before. I want to be in a mindset that people are against me.I thrive when I'm under pressure. I kinda wished that we went to at least one tribal just to see how everyone here was game wise. Oh well!!

if i was going to be the boot on our tribe i look like a total clown rn.

Besides the fact that I’m leaving tonight, yeah not much is going on! I’m so disappointed that this is how my game is coming to an end. I’m at a loss of words so I’m sorry if you want more I just don’t have it in me

i’m.... goin thru a lot of emotions. for no reason. idk

at the last tribal council the person who i was least happy to be cast with was voted out so that was one less thing to worry about. then we won immunity. which is nice. but also i get lazy premerge when we keep winning immunity. it doesn’t help that my social battery is currently at %10 and i have a broken charger. but. oh well.

i have to play in the next immunity and idk. if there’s only 3 of us competing and two of them are me and justin then maybe we really Will be going to tribal next round who knows.

also i’m really bad at idol hunting. i didn’t give enough birth. the lizard goddess has no interest in making an appointment w me. i killed myself one time and got nothing for my troubles. i feel like something’s definitely been found by now, aside from johnny’s legacy advantage. idk it’s feelin a little bleak bc i figured my best shot at finding an idol would be premerge and i know we still have a ways to go probably but if the idols are found then that’s it on that.

This is literally going to be the most gut wrenching vote. Clohie and Tom will not budge, or even fathom the idea of voting out the other. I'm under the impression they want Adam out, but I'm also afraid of the possibility of a vote against me....so I have to contemplate if it's smarter to tie the vote 2-2 first and then vote out Adam, or to just trust that they are in fact voting Adam. Something else I'm praying on if I survive this round, is for a swap. Because without one, I'll be on the bottom of the 3 with Clohie and Tom obvi sticking together since their original Kanaloa. And our challenge record is not the best. Adam is probably our strongest challenge performer so that's another reason I'd hate to see him go. Tom and Clohie are just so mysterious and vague, and Adam has been nothing but upfront with me. Ugh, just the thought of a tie vote or drawing rocks makes me so sick...I honestly don't know what I'm going to do.

This has been the most stressful vote I have had to deal with, EVER. Taylor is a snake but Chloe wants to keep him and I get better vibes from Adam. I am considering doing a 2-2 if Chloe votes Adam and if it goes to rocks, so be it.

https://soundcloud.com/bodhi-small/week4/s-94KbM

________________________________________________________________

Taylor is voted out 3-1.

[yumenosakiacademy]

Me.trocon 2017 Friday

this is a Diary entry for future me, but feel free to read, as always. Cosplayed: Mik.an Tsumiki

Okay, so i woke up early to get there by 10 am, ate 3 bowls of cereal n dad helped me w my wig n the bandages n stuff then i went to the con and made it there at abt 9:40 am..? around then, and went downstairs to look around before going to the ouran or hs panel so i spotted the nice Ann from earlier along with a futaba that they were friends w and i hung out w them for a while talking abt stuff and tried spinning a spinner for the first time?? rly hard w nails tho so i gave up and gave it back to them and i heard “hey nurse!!” and turned around and a ruruka and komaeda w a big monob.ear plushie were riding down the escalator waving at me and i got a pic of them and they took a pic of me and ruruka gave me a gummy candy but i had to return it bc i dont eat gelatin but they were nice! i saw em a few times later too. so i told ann and futaba that i was gonna go to the hs panel and said goosbye 

and i went to the hs panel and it.. wasnt too fun?? idk it was just a small panel. they were eating ben boozled beans to see if they got the good or gross flavor and i asked nepeta what her favorite kind of cat was and terezi tried to rap and gamzee did shenanigans but after a while i wanted to see some of he ouran panel so i went in there but not much was happening so i stuck around then eventually left it bc i was kinda bored

and then!! the LL pep rally aa! it was major cute, and all of the dancers were amazing and it had me having LL songs stuck in my head esp the nico and nozo duet song aa and while they were dancing i think i almost teared up bc i started having Idol Feelings?? flrhknrfhb but ANYWAY the maki, after asked, mentioned en.stars but she didnt kno how to play + she ddnt wanna read a japanese walkthrough and u could literally see me STRAINING not to tell her i could teach her how and i couldnt after the panel but oh well! the panel was rly cute n fun aa and there was a halloween!yohane w a rly nice outfit and after taking her pic i was like “im ur fallen angel now, yohane-sama!” and she was like “yes you are one w me now or somefin it was cute!

After that, i forgot that there was an SU panel and i went to the ON.S panel and some of the jokes were funny but since im not major into o.ns (never was, altho ive seen seasons 1 and 2 and read some of the manga) i eventualy left bc i got kinda bored and they startedplaying games like “Honey i love u” (and a friend later told me that the panel got boring after that) and bc i heard there was a DR meetup going on, i decided to go since i had 30 minutes before the max mitt.elman q and a but most of the cosplayers were just standing around and talking waiting for a photographer and a juzo was rly nice to me and so was the mondo (who seemed to be running the meetup) but by the time they got a photographer, it was time for me to go and mondo’s like “u joinin for pics?” bc i was standing off to the side looking at the con map n i was like “ah.. no, the voice of ryuji is here n i wanna see him” so the mondo said they were gonna be morgana at the per.sona photoshoot on satuday and that max might be there and im so SAD that i cant go to it bc its at midnight aa..

but so i left and i went to go see max mit.telman and it’s! surreal seeing a celebrity and everytime he spoke all i heard was Ryuji honestly thats what i thought of almost everytime fhnkhn but a lot of the talk in that panel was abt voice acting or spi.derman but i managed to aask him a question abt per.sona (”whats ur favorite castle and character?”) and he said kamoshidas palace bc ryuji’s awakening is in there and that ryuji was his fav n when i said Of Course he said “oh, other than ryuji? hmm.. the subway announcer” and everyone laughed and i think someone else asked him abt per.sona before me and it was like.. what was the funniest ryuji line to do and max said “the line where hes eating and he goes ‘IT’S LIKE A MEATY EXPLOSION IN MY MOUTH!!’” and i was laughing aaa but it was so cool! but i left near the end of it and went to the DR panel at 1:30

and the DR panel was kinda boring, i stood in the back bc there were tall ppl sitting near the places i like to sit and stuff but hey did lil games and i asked mono.kuma “what his fvorite exocution was (”h-hopefully not mine!”) and he said terut.eru’s w the helicoptors and they had trivia but the only question i knew i dint raise my hand fast enough unfortunately but its okay and later in the panel i asked junko how she really felt abt mikan (and called her junko-sama aaa) and junko said “well.. i kill the people i love so.. haha!” but made a heart w her arms and i made a heart w my fingers

NOW FOR MY FAVORITE PART OF TODAY there was a dm.md dating panel and i was like “hhh clear is best boy im gonna wait until clear is called then take a seat as a contestant” so the panel was funny and virus was all like “how do you feel abt exotic pets” and contestant one was like “well i do love bigass snakes” and virus is like “oh yea? well i have 2~” n koujaku mentioned something like theyll have to be a snake charmer and one lady, when virus asked why he should choose them, she said her character (Foxxy) once put chicken up herself and it came out fried and her friend, who was #2, said “I CANT COMPARE WHEN HER P**** DOUBLES AS A MICROWAVE!” and the other girl went “easy bake oven” and everyone was laughing and #2 couldnt stop laughing and it was Wild tbh ekhrhflj AND THEN when they called cleae you could see me stand up SO EFFING QUICK AA and i sat down as contestant 3 and as i sat down i was like “aa i was waiting for clear hes my best boy” and clear (and kou i think) heard me and went “oh aww” and clear asked his first question of “what do you think of jellyfish” and #1 said they’re squishy, #2 said they’re pretty yet kind of delicious, and i said “they’re pretty and floaty.. and theyre soft- well, they look soft, yanno? and they’re swimming all free.. w how theyre floating, maybe theyre secretly fairies or something?” and everybody Aww’ed aaa and then clear asked his 2nd question “where you take me on a date?” and #2 said the obv answer of aquarium, #1 said a beach at sunset i think, and i thought for a sec abt how clear is soft ans sweet and said “i think something simple, like a sleepover, and we could have glow in the dark stars on the wall n all yanno, and maybe watch a movie w a pillow fort and lots of plushies?” and everybody Aww’ed harder and i just kinda shyly smiled and i heard the panelists Awwing too and koujaku turned to clear and said “so, do you need to ask a third question or do you obv already know who ur gonna pick” w an Obvious tone and clear nodded (rly cutely aa) and walked down n he was like “would you.. do me the honors of being my chosen one?” and holding out my bouquiet (which was what the winning contestant got) and i was smiling so hard and nodded (i think we hugged too?) and i said “only if i have the honor of giving you a lollipop, clear~!” and gave him a fake shot and a lollipop and i was like “if you need a different flavor u can have a diff. one aa” and clear was like “ah oh no that’s fine!” and koujaku was like “oh my god can we have her instead of these guys” (meaning the other dm.md panelists) and  was fidgeting back to my seat in jy and slight shyness but after that i asked clear 2 questions during the q and a and i asked if he would make his brothers Good and not on the side of toue if he could and he nodded yes and one of the panelists played jellyf.ish song and i was like aa and then later i said “um.. clear.. i think you’re kinda similar to that one robot.ic pokemon princess- um, i forgot her name bc of my memory but-” and clear was nodding and blushing and i was like aaa bc we’re both Shy so it’s just us both being nice and blushy and i couldnt hear it well but i think clear was like “we should see it later” and after the panel was over i was gathering my bag and the clear came up to me and they were like aa you’re so cute can i take a pic of you” and i was like “yea sure can i take a pic of you?” and so we talked abt how neither of us have seen the pok.emon movir i was talking abt yet and i gave clear a hug and they were so cute im gonna Cry aa... im Lov............

after that i walked around the dealers room and the female hajime from earlier that i saw at the meetup and at the DR panel asked me to pose w them and since they got a bouqiet from the dm.md panel too we posed w those like a marriage proposal and i was like “take that spike ch.unsoft we’re making DR Gay now” and we stood around and talked abt per.sona until i saw a ryuji and goro and hajime and i took pics of em and we talked w them for a sec (the goro was like “nobody likes goro they all want pics of just ryuji”) and they were Nice and i saw dm.md cosplayers that i saw at the panel in the dealers room and they kept complimenting me on how cute i was during the panel aaa AND i met the virus and trip who were in the panel and they complimented me too and we stood around and talked for a while and i was like  “is virus’ jacket green bc he’s Poisonous?” and they were like “..interesting though. maynbe! :o” and i was like “and trip is piink for sweets, virus is green bc of snakes maybe? and trip’s pink could be a lion tongue?” and i gave them both lollipops + fake shots (i was like “maybe oit’s heroine. OH or maybe i shot you up w... Morphine” and we all went aaayyye) and i left

the oso.matsu-kun ppl never showed up so ikept browsing the dealers room and while i was looking at en.stars blind boxes, i saw a naegi going thru the id.olish omanjuus but i thought they were en.stars ones and i went “omg are you an en.stars fan?!” and they were like “YEA are you??” and i was like “YAH” and so we talked abt the event and how he wants a wataru omanjuu even tho he kinda finda wataru weird and turns out hes a SwitchP and a rabitsP bc “he has self-care” and doesnt go close to Popular units and we talked for a while and he apparently didnt kno abt the en.stars panel on saturday so i told him abt it and led him to the idol merch booth n showed him the en.stars keychains and found atsumugi for him and he got a sora and some lady in a pink sweater (?) was looking thru the boxes too so i was like “ARE U INTO IT” n she was lieke “yea!” so we talked w her and shegot the shu christmas charm (i joked that it mustve been fate we met bc i got the mika one) and she said she likes valkyrie and she mentioned her artist alley booth has en.stars stuff (i couldnt fint eh booth) and that someone she knew was cosplaying mika (didnt fine em either) or maybe she said “was going to..?” but she said she was gonna go w a friend as leo and madara in vacation clothes on satuday n i was like “DUDE COOL” and naegi said he might cosplay nazuna at metro or just eventually and i was so happy aa but eventually i left the dealers room

the os.osan q and a wasnt much to talk abt so after that, the bn.ha q and a AND the bb dating panel were PACKED but i stood in the back of the bn.ha one for a while but thought abt leaving and dad called me so i took my chance to leave and answer him and after that i just walked around more and met an eg.gs benedict who hung out w me and we saw a nof.ace who gave them candy and we talked w an akira abt stuff before i left to walk again and after a while i met a Honoka and a Kamoshida and we talked abt en.stars and LL and aa it was fun they were Nice and i went to the mat.suno mixerfor the last half (i looked inside earlie, saw no one and didnt go inside but they apparently stated late) and got chosen to be a contestant for ichimatsu (which i found ironic bc i had already won a dating game today haha) (i was contestant #1, he couldnt see any of the contestant bc there was a rack between us) and ichimatsu asked “whats ur opinion on cats”and i said “well i love them!! and rin h.oshizora is my best LL girl so of course nya!” n for the 2nd question he said “my brothers r gonna hate me for this, but how submissive are you?” and i said “well.. technically i’m a switch, but i’m Mostly a bottom, ichimatsu-sama... And i mean.. i let junko-sama step on me so..” and some ppl laughed aa and for his third question he said “on a scale of 1-10 how much do you think im trash” so i decided not to say 10 or 11 and said “well i think you’re mosre like.. a recycling bin! nor fully trahsh, perse! but im p lazy too so we can be trash buddies together!” and in the end ichi said he liked #1 n #3 but #1 charmd him more so the rack was removed and i got a bouqiet of duct tape flowers from him and i said “i can be your kitty, ichimatsu-sama nya!” and he linked elbows w me and escorted me down the stage stairs and it was nice aaa..

after that was the pajama rw.by panel but it wasnt v interesting and some guy in he audience was loud and annoying and the LLpj party where i talked w the honoka and kamoshida from earlier and a different honoka and we talked for a sec abt en.stars and id.olish and the panel was okay but i was.. tired aa...

the DR panel turned out to be mostly party games not q and a and i was tired so i left midway thru once dad came to pick me up at like 11:30 and we got mcnuggets and a medium fry to share and!! con day overrr