#even though i did finish it lol....... so you've been warned

[withleeknow]

wishful thinking. (07)

chapter seven: built to break

summary: the instruction was plain and simple: no strings attached. but you should’ve known from the beginning that it could never apply to you and him.

pairing: minho x f!reader rating: 18+ (minors dni) genres/warnings: friends to lovers, friends with benefits au, college au; fluff, angst, smut; the gorlies are fighting...?, not much for warnings in this chapter ig word count: 4.3k note: i finally got off my ass and wt is finally back lol. i had a last minute change of plans and thought "oh! you know what would be pretty neat? if we prolong the angst so everyone can be sad for longer!" <3 and this is how i announce that the next chapter is not wt8 but wt7.5 and it's written from his pov <3 merry christmas

as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡

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I’ll hold my breath as I wait for your answer I’ll leave it up to you Tell me whether it’s yes or no Baby, love me or leave me tonight

Love Me or Leave Me - Day6

The warning signs, they're there. You can see them before they materialize. You know your own tells.

Your metaphorical bags are packed, your shoes are already on. You're about to run again, leave a half empty house before it has the chance to become a home. No one has to tell you that you're a flight risk; you're well aware of it yourself.

Wednesday Min: got plans tonight? You: booked and busy with ze old canvas Min: tomorrow? You: same thing probably. sorry Min: u're working hard lately You: yeah this one is just driving me crazy and i need it to turn out decent Min: it'll be perfect. it's u

Thursday Min: running errands at the store Min: want me to bring u anything? that caramel popcorn u like?

Friday Min: don't work too hard. remember to eat

That was three days ago, the last time you'd heard from him after you left him on read. It wasn't a complete lie; this project is driving you kinda crazy and you do need it to end up a decent piece, but you weren't exactly holed up in your apartment to slave over your painting. And you suppose Minho didn't find it all that suspicious because you tend to do this sometimes - disappear for a couple of days and force yourself to focus whenever you had a project to finish, before you come back to everybody again. You've come back to him before; it stands to reason that you'll do it again.

It's been about two weeks since you'd seen him, though the memories of that evening are still fresh in your mind - the evening of the group dinner, when he'd kissed you goodnight and left for his parents' house the following day. True to his words, he did send you pictures of the cats - ones of Soonie wearing a matching hoodie with him, a few of Doongie and Dori napping at the foot of his bed. There was an accompanying text - The kids miss you - along with a frowning emoji, and it made you wonder if what he really meant was I miss you.

You wanted him to miss you, because you missed him too.

The photos brought a smile to your face despite the predicament you found yourself in. A smile that was short lived, a smile that was soon wiped off when you realized your heart shouldn't be swelling with that much affection for him. It shouldn't, but the truth was that it did and you don't know how to live with it.

Love isn't something you've ever learned to hold.

It's beautiful yet full of thorns, and your hands are too clumsy to ever keep it from slipping from your fingers.

You remember when you first met Minho. Freshman year, at some popular senior's house party.

It feels like forever ago when you were just an awkward freshman at orientation who didn't have a single clue on how to make friends. Jess was your first friend in college, and you'll always be grateful that you got along well enough that she adopted you into the group with the rest of the guys.

You didn't cross paths with Minho until you were already acquainted with everyone else. On the night of the party, you remember being enamored with him for those couple of hours, and it wasn't the side effect of too many solo cups of cheap beer. Who in their right mind wouldn't be infatuated with him? He was beautiful, absolutely alluring, and you would always tell him as much.

Back then, he had brown hair, slighter shorter than now but it was tinted with the most gorgeous shade of red. You didn't know much about Minho, only been told that he was pretty quiet and might be off-putting to new people. It was sort of true; that night, you were intimidated by the aura he exuded. Mysterious, couldn't be bothered, didn't seem to give a shit. He looked like a scary little thing, while you were the new kid who was only trying to observe everyone's dynamics, not wanting to overstep any unspoken boundary.

To this day, you're still not sure what really happened, how you two immediately clicked and he's been one of the most important parts of your life ever since.

Maybe it was just him. Maybe it's always been him.

Minho, the one who makes you smile when all you want to do is curl up and cry. The one who makes you laugh when you look for joy but the search comes up empty. The one who grounds you every time you lose your way. Your anchor, the safe harbor you can always return to. The light at the end of a long, long tunnel.

You don't know where you stand, don't know where it goes from here now that everything is changing. He told you so himself, that nothing changed for him, but how could he possibly know that everything is changing for you? And it infuriates you to no end because you don't even have anyone to talk about this with. You're the only person whose world is being turned upside down after all.

You can't tell your friends because they can't know about you and Minho. You can't tell Minho because what would you even say? That you think you're in love with him? That the implications of what it means are devastating to you?

For the first time, you regret everything. Kissing him that night, sleeping with him, becoming whatever this is with him. Letting down your guard and falling for him somewhere along the way and you didn't even stop to notice it. You regret all of the decisions you've made up until now, because they've only led you to the point of no return, the point of losing him. You made bad decision after bad decision after bad decision, until you couldn't anymore. All along, there's been no one else to blame but you.

Maybe it hasn't happened yet, but it's inevitable. You will lose him. You are going to lose him.

There's no other ending, no other alternative that you can imagine. You're going to leave because you're a coward and it's what you do best. You ruin things before they get a chance to hurt you. You leave because if you don't leave then you'll be left behind, and you'd rather not bear the brunt of it.

Now, when you think of Minho, the thought is always accompanied by a painful reminder - Nothing changed for him.

When you get to the cafe, Hyunjin and Seungmin are already seated in a corner booth, three drinks in front of them, one of which they'd ordered for you before you arrived.

You slide into the seat next to Hyunjin, smiling at him appreciatively for the drink. There's still over half an hour before you have to walk to your shared class, over half an hour before Seungmin parts ways with you two to do whatever or whoever it is that Seungmin does on his off days.

"I still think it's Nara," Hyunjin says, casually sipping his iced coffee.

"Nara from your Lit class last semester?"

"Yup."

"Why?"

"I saw them talking at a party once."

"Okay. And?"

"And what? That's it."

"That's... all the evidence you have to back up your claim?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

You wave your hands in front of them. "What are you bozos talking about?"

"He’s still trying to figure out who Minho is hooking up with," Seungmin is the one who answers you without missing a beat, then he turns back to Hyunjin. "Anyway, it can't be Nara. She's dating Jaehyun on the basketball team."

The friend next to you flails his arms like a petulant child, like he couldn't have possibly seen this coming, like he was so sure that he had finally solved the mystery. "Great. I'm back to square one again."

You straighten your back and reach for your drink, tentatively gulping down the beverage as if it'll hide the fact that you've gone stiff the second this topic is brought up. You feel bad about it, sure. These are your friends that you're lying to after all. They don't have to look anywhere far; the answer to the secret is right in front of them.

"We're still on about that?" you ask in the calmest, most nonchalant voice you can muster. You usually consider yourself a believable liar (which, to be honest, isn't really a flex at all), but whenever someone mentions this little arrangement between you and Minho that shouldn't be common knowledge for anyone else, you feel like you're been put under a spotlight for the whole world to scrutinize.

"Duh," Hyunjin says. "You know, I'm kinda surprised that you don't know. You two are like, attached at the hip sometimes."

You give him a thoughtless shrug, your hands fiddling with the sticker on the plastic cup as you avoid looking at either of your friends. "Maybe he just wants to keep private things private, y'know? You wouldn't like either if all of us is suddenly all up in your business. And besides, what if it's just casual?"

Hyunjin scoffs. "Please, I'm an open book. I tell you guys everything. I tell you every time I hook up with someone."

"Yeah, but you see, literally no one needs to know that," Seungmin says.

The taller one only scoffs, waving his hands around dismissively in Seungmin's direction before he turns to you. "If it was just casual, would he save her name as - oh my God, I forgot what her contact name is. Freaking bird person or something."

You make a face. "What?"

"Dude, seriously?" Seungmin rolls his eyes. "You forgot one word? Dove? What is the matter with you?"

Perhaps it's the half-hearted teasing judgment in Seungmin's voice that makes Hyunjin take offense and drop the topic. The conversation veers off course when they start bickering like children in the busy cafe. You suppose it works in your favor, but you can't focus. You drown it all out.

Your hand is still on the cup but the sticker has been left alone and forgotten, half peeled off, half still clinging to the plastic underneath the condensation.

The single word repeats itself in your mind, over and over and over again.

The entire time you're in class, you don't really focus on anything. You can't bring yourself to listen to whatever your professor is saying, not after what Hyunjin and Seungmin told you earlier. At some point, your friend has to nudge your shoulder to bring you back down to earth when usually, you're the one who has to remind Hyunjin to pay attention. Class ends soon enough though; time tends to fly by when your mind is lost elsewhere.

"What's wrong with you today?" he asks with his bag slung over his shoulder, slowing down his steps to match your speed as you walk out of the lecture hall together.

You scratch the back of your neck sheepishly. "Nothing's wrong. I was just tired."

"You wanna grab dinner with me and Felix?"

Any other day, you would've agreed in a heartbeat. But today, you want to be alone. Sometimes, you'd rather wallow in your own misery than settle for a temporary distraction.

You're still stuck on the conversation from earlier, on the small detail that Hyunjin and Seungmin had let slip in the cafe.

Dove.

His dove.

Maybe it doesn't mean anything. Perhaps it's only a nickname that he's assigned to you out of mere platonic fondness, but it makes you conscious about the dove on your own wrist nonetheless, the one that you feel compelled to hide from your friends underneath your long sleeve.

"No, it's okay," you tell Hyunjin. "I'll just go home and sleep it off."

"Okay. I can walk you for a bit," he says. "Just wait with me here. Minho's coming to give me back something he borrowed."

"Minho's coming?" you ask too quickly for it to sound casual. There's a panicked edge that you can hear in your own voice, though you don't think Hyunjin picks it up as he unlocks his phone and types something on the screen.

"Yeah, he was at the library. He's coming over right now, should only be a couple minutes. Then I'll walk back with you."

You shift on your feet uneasily, but you cover it up by rubbing your hands on your arms to pretend like you're just cold. There's no excuse that you could think of that would justify why you can't stand here with Hyunjin for just two more minutes, without giving it away the fact that you're avoiding Minho.

You take in a quiet breath, put on your best brave face. Casual, nonchalant. It's just Minho. Just Minho...

He comes up from behind, where you can't see him. A warm hand gently lands on your shoulder, and it takes everything not to shy away from his touch. It takes even more not to lean into his side.

You've missed it. You've missed him.

"Hey." He smiles at you while Hyunjin only gets a nod in acknowledgment.

"Hey." You return the smile, though you're sure you look a little rigid. You can tell there's an inkling of confusion in his eyes when he senses that your energy is off, but you're thankful he doesn't comment on it, at least not in front of Hyunjin anyway.

You don't notice the paper bag in his other hand until he hands it to your other friend with a simple Thanks, to which Hyunjin just nods along in a silent You're welcome.

"I was going to walk with Y/N for a bit and then meet Felix for food," he tells Minho. "You wanna get burgers with me and Lix?"

"No, thanks. I'm not hungry, I had a late lunch. I'll take the walk though."

You didn't plan on being alone with Minho today, even though you knew you had to talk to him eventually. You just thought you had a little more time, at least until you got your shit together and face him with a brave façade.

Minho's hand brushes yours the entire time you walk, and it's nothing if not confusing. It's unbearable, the way your fingers twitch with the urge to intertwine them with his.

It persists even after Hyunjin has waved you goodbye to you two and turned to head wherever he and Felix agreed to meet. You think Minho would hold your hand now that it's just you and him, but he doesn't. He lets your skin continue to brush, lets you suffer alone and wanting in your sunken disappointment.

It has very little to do with him and everything to do with you, the conflicting thoughts inside your head piling up one by one the more time you spend in his presence.

Dove, the brief display of jealousy at Yeonjun's party, the way he looks at you sometimes that you can't really decipher the meaning behind, how he kisses you so tenderly that it can't possibly be strictly platonic. You want these things to all mean something, and yet...

You want him to hold your hand, but you know you'd wave it off if he tries to reach for your fingers. You want him to stop you right then and there to kiss you breathless, just as he had that night two weeks ago, even though you're sure you'd only dodge his lips and push him away. You want to stay, you want to leave. You're terrified of things changing, but you wish that something, anything, would be different for him; that you aren't the only one who's spinning out of control. You love him, but you wish you didn't.

Eventually, Minho asks, "You okay?"

It's not until now that you realize this is the first time you've ever been this quiet around him. You purse your lips, glancing down briefly at your feet as you keep on treading the rest of the way home. "Yeah, all good. I'm just tired," you tell him, visibly unenthusiastic despite the smile you try to fake. "I just need to sleep it off."

"The project stressing you out?"

"I guess, yeah."

"And here I thought maybe you were avoiding me," he says, half a joke, half inquisitive. "Were you?"

"Was I what?"

"Were you avoiding me?"

You give him a weird look, one that's meant to be dismissive and call his question ridiculous even though you know you've been caught. And maybe it's the over-the-top glance that you throw his way and the way your pitch goes higher when you reply, "Why would I be avoiding you?" that makes him stop walking.

On the other side of the street, there's a couple of kids in high school uniforms, exchanging shy glances and sharing fond giggles.

Minho calls your name softly, and it's like you're just waiting for the ball to drop. You don't want to turn back and look at him, but what other option do you have? What else is there to do?

You can't decipher the expression on his face. He's still calm, but the air has turned serious, the silence of the mostly empty streets surrounding you only serves as the soundtrack of your impending heartbreak. The tender and innocent laughter fades away when young love moves further and further from where you stand. "What?" you ask with faux nonchalance as you look at him, another attempt at stalling. Biding your time even though a few more minutes aren't going to do any good for your case.

Anyone with half a braincell could tell that clearly it's not the truth, let alone someone who has learned to read you better than the back of his hand. He doesn't look like he believes you, though he doesn't push it, much to your surprise.

"Okay," he says after a moment of studying you, and this should be the part where you heave a sigh of relief because he's letting you off the hook for now, but your chest doesn't feel lighter at all. Your head is clouded with dread, with the anticipation that you're only delaying the inevitable.

You walk the rest of the way in awful silence, because you know that he knows something is wrong. You try your best to appear composed, but he sees right through you. You know he does.

You must look like a frightened animal, one that's about to take off running any second now.

When you reach your building, Minho is quick to keep you with him before you can make up a lame excuse and bolt.

"Hey," he starts, his voice so impossibly gentle that it hurts. "You know you can tell me anything, right?"

Heavier and heavier, it weighs you down until you feel like your chest is going to collapse. The nerves gnaw on you, clawing into you until you feel your heartbeat quicken, the overwhelming dread simmering low in your belly.

"I know," you say, but deep down, what you're really thinking is, Not this. This is the one thing I can't tell you.

"Is everything okay?"

It's the way that Minho's got his gaze set on you with those deep brown irises, the concern so apparent in them that it hurts you. It's the way he looks like he wants to reach out and touch you - a comforting hand on your shoulder or your back like you're so familiar with - but he has to hold himself back or you might slip away.

It's him, how he always puts you first, how he cares about you in ways that you've never been cared about before. He understands you, he sees you. It feels like it could be love if you let the lines blur just enough.

Is love supposed to hurt? Like this?

Maybe it's not that you don't know how to hold love. Maybe it's because you're not meant to hold it at all. Insignificant, unlovable.

And... it's the reminder that cuts through the dread like the sharpest knife.

You leave his question unanswered, because nothing is okay and you can't tell him any of it. You can't lie to him either, because it's the last thing that you want to do to him.

Instead, you ask, "We're good... right? We're okay?"

"What do you mean?"

You gesture between the two of you, though you're not sure what that's supposed to signify. "Just...," you trail off for a second, hesitant. "Nothing's changed, right?"

Minho doesn't answer right away. He looks at you for a moment, searching for something in your eyes that you can't tell if he's able to find.

He nods, seemingly wistful as he says, "Nothing's changed."

He seems unsure about it, at least more than he was just a few weeks ago when he told you the same thing in your apartment with his fingers wrapped around your wrist. The tug between his brows - though barely noticeable - tells you as much.

Is it because something is different now? Or does he only sound uncertain out of concern, because of you and how you're acting?

Then he continues, "For me, at least."

And there it is.

It's the confirmation this time around that turns you inside out so his simple words could cut into you.

You swallow thickly, put on a smile like you're pleased with his answer even though you're trying your hardest to stop yourself from shaking. Whatever energy you had left is instantly drained from you just because of a few words.

Your sentences get smashed together, tangled up like barbed wire and they only make you bleed when you try to pull them apart. All your nervous tics coming out to play despite your best efforts to keep them at bay. A frustrated hand running through your hair, gripping at the roots a little harshly. Your bottom lip pulled between your teeth and your eyes turning glassy for a split second before you blink the moisture away, because you can't let Minho see you like this. See you trying to keep your pathetic heart intact while he's none the wiser.

He's fine. And unlike you, he's going to be okay when this is over.

Unavoidable and inevitable, the end will come whether you like it or not. You're the only one who won't make it out unscathed, and it will only shatter you into more pieces the longer you drag this out.

Just rip the bandaid off. Salvage whatever you can. Stop digging the grave even deeper for yourself.

One second, then two, then three. You don't speak until you have enough faith that your voice is even enough to carry out a few sentences.

"Okay, uhm... I think I need some time for myself. We should..." But it isn't, and you crack halfway through. The sound is deafening to your own ears. "We should take a break. We should stop this."

Minho doesn't question if you mean the secret between the two of you, or your friendship entirely. Instead, he asks, "Why?"

"I told you." You clear your throat. "I need time for myself."

You can't tell what he's thinking, but the knife twists inside of you nonetheless.

He takes a step closer, you take a step back.

You watch as his face falls, and the same feeling mirrors itself within the confines of your ribcage. Your heart drops at the sight of his eyes, deep brown irises stained with a little confusion, then a little hurt though it lasts for only a few seconds. The slight slump of his shoulders, the absence of the familiar playfulness he always sports when he's with you.

He blinks.

"Time for yourself, or time away from me?"

You say nothing.

You don't address his question directly, and your reluctance to do so is a loud enough answer in and of itself. "Why does that matter? What's the difference?"

"It matters if I did something to upset you."

"You didn't."

"Okay. So?"

This is confusing, because he's not letting you rip the bandaid clean off and you don't know why. "Nothing's changed, right? If it didn't mean anything to you, why can't you just drop this?"

Minho is quiet for a beat. His eyes are searching again, but this time, you think he finds something.

Everything is still and you hate it - the silence of the streets, the scrutinizing orange glow of the streetlights as if they're watching the scene unfold, even the innocent cat that's sitting by itself on the balcony on one of the floors higher up. You hate all of it.

"I never said it didn't mean anything," he tells you.

It makes you a little angry for some reason, and there's enough red to cloud your vision because his words are contradicting and you're tired, you're so exhausted that you can't focus on what it is that he's really saying.

"So you lied to me?"

"I've never lied to you."

"I asked you before and you said nothing's changed. Now you're saying whatever this is didn't not mean anything. Make up your mind."

It gets redder when he keeps his eyes fixed on you, still so calm despite the frown that has returned to its place between his brows. Still so collected, while you're being pulled apart at the seams.

The ball doesn't drop the way you expect it to. It keeps falling so insufferably slowly, hanging over you like it's mocking you for being stupid, like it's milking every second of suspense to make you implode.

Until Minho speaks next and suddenly, it feels like the air has been sucked out of your lungs. His voice, still so soft and tender. His eyes, reading something in yours that you can't bear to admit out loud.

"You really don't see it, do you?"

all rights reserved © withleeknow. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 24.06.2024]

[redflavor]

disclaimer i'm allergic to posting gifs that i think look bad so if i try it and i don't like how it looks it won't be seeing the light of day, ever 👍

[twistedbloodstain]

I have two ideas for the marquis de framing that I think you’d do great writing!

1: where the reader is interrogating the marquis (meaning she kidnapped him) and through there, they start to get feelings for each other

2: reader (who had a relationship of some sort with the marquis) fakes their death because they couldn’t take the assassin world. The marquis is devastated (lots of angst hehehe). They meet again while the reader is trying to help someone (maybe John, lol)

3: reader who is part of the high table meets the marquis for the first time. Sorta like live at first sight.

vincent de gramont x reader: i could never give you peace | what’s meant to be is supposed to be

plot: the one where he finds you again.

warnings: the reader’s a medic/healer in here SORRYYY…, she knew john from before, he rats her out lolz, kidnapping except vincent doesn’t do it this time..(yay! cuz he forced someone else to do it!!!), anon im so sorry i focused too hard on one part, i will do an extra (i swear)

masterlist

“stay still.” you mumble.

mr. wick lets out a small grunt while you sew his wound back together, nothing too fatal (at least in his standards) but without the help of any anesthesia or alcohol to soothe the pain, the assassin had no choice but to follow.

“don’t worry, it's almost done.” you whisper almost finished with patching up the flesh on his back. “and..there..”

he immediately gets off his seat and reaches for his shirt stationed on a random desk scattered with medical supplies. he digs into his suit jacket and fishes out a coin and hands it over to you, you accept it eagerly and begin cleaning up.

“you need any help with transport?” you inquire while you discard your bloodied gloves and utensils.

“yeah.”

“on your way out turn left and find the guy with a gray jacket. he’s one of winston’s men, he’ll help you out. where are you headed?” you inquire while washing your hands. he hesitantly answers before offering a reply.

“paris.”

“oh.” you stop in your movements and look at him. he stands near the door way all dressed up with blood caking his temples, he still looks rugged and in no shape to do what he has to do in pairs but your opinion likely doesn’t matter to him.

“good luck, i guess.” you mutter.

“you’ve been there.” he says.

“i..have.” you hope he doesn’t press any further.

“what’s in paris?” he questions but doesn’t take a step further.

“for you?” you uneasily say, he doesn’t reply.

“a dangerous man. i..think you’ll die trying just to get what you want, mr. wick. but hey, who knows? maybe, it’s now him.” you explain.

“the guy who had the continental demolished, was it him?” he sternly asks.

“..yes, i think it was him.” you confess, avoiding his eyes.

it had been almost three years since you left that country.

three years since you left him.

you can’t even bear to say his name because if you do, all of it will spill out. how he met you, how kept you and how he loved you. 

he nods, “and for you?”

“an even more dangerous man.”

 ever since mr. wick entered and left your clinic. you've been in a constant state of anxiety. the mere thought and mention of him had you nervous, especially when you heard that he was in new york a few days ago. you thought it was all over, that he found you and was going to rip you from your freedom in this city.

the following news shocked you to your core, the new york continental being demolished was not in your bingo card as to why he’d be here. all because of an excommunicated assassin which you had tended to almost a day after the bombing.

although you’re horrified with the state of events, relief flooded you when you realized he wasn’t there for you. you’d still be safe from him.

but you can’t help but think what all of this means for him. at some point, you know that john wick will kill him, and you somehow played a part in it. you feel a tinge of regret for him but it’s quickly overshadowed with the horrors he’s done and you don’t feel as bad.

he did like you though, when you still worked at france for him as his estate medic. whenever he found himself wounded in the line of fire in an ambush attack, you were the one who tended to his wounds and saw him at his weakest. you don’t know why but a strong sense of trust was established between the two of you.

you thought it to be a friendship but fleeting glances of affection would seep through when you talked or when a large bouquet of flowers suddenly appeared in your clinic after patching him up. 

you toyed with a pin he gave you, his insignia. only he wore it proudly on his coat and truly, it warmed you to him. he did make you feel appreciated, small touches on your back and sometimes fiddling with your hands whenever you sewed his wounds, gave you butterflies in your stomach.

with you he was just…vincent.

soft words and touches with soulful eyes looking into yours, just gentleness and affection present in him. it made you indulge into it too, that he isn’t the cruel man people made him out to be. he isn’t heartless, that’s just how the world is.

a naive perspective.

a perspective that was easily shattered when you’d hear a bloodcurdling scream from the barn, and he walks out with blood on his hands and a disgusted look on his face from his clothes being stained. gunshots echoing beneath the servant’s staircases and thudding bodies being dragged into the secluded forests of the estate. you whisper to yourself those very same words even if all his actions sent chills on your spine.

but the truth of it is that, he is heartless. he is the man people made him out to be and you’re a fool thinking he could be better for you but at the end of the day, he is still the marquis.

it made you think. what if this is all a game to him? what if the moment he finds you uninteresting you become another stain on his suit? 

it’s not a secret that men like him love having delicate pretty things only to break them apart. that’s all you are his current delicate and pretty thing.

you decided to leave. you weren’t staying long enough to find out what would happen to you, feelings be damned when you’re easily replacable to him. you knew that the marquis was like a dog to a bone when he didn’t get the things he wanted, which only pooled fears into your stomach should he find you in new york.

he cannot have you.

you stare at the pin before chucking the pin somewhere in the room, you get up from your chair and begin closing the windows from your clinic.

a knock comes from the door, you chuck the remaining medical materials into a random desk and walk up to the door. wounded assassins aren’t a strange occurrence at this time of the evening but something…felt different.

your gut was telling you to ignore the person on the other side and stay still. you thought that maybe if you didn’t answer the person would go away. wanting to play things safe you don’t mutter a word that would alert them of your presence. it usually worked in some cases.

the knocking persists, much harder and louder now. your hands begins to shake and your eyes start looking around for an emergency firearm to help defend yourself, your actions frantically halt when you hear a voice through the door.

“doc?” a gruff voice asks.

you sight and put a hand on your chest. it’s just john wick. you eagerly open the door to let him in.

“john.” you greet, “come inside.” you invite him as you walk inside.

john doesn’t follow you and a confused expression takes your face, until you take a good look at him. for the first time, john wick doesn’t look wounded to you, his face and hands void of any blood, a new bulletproof suit adorning his body, a french one you notice but it still leaves you questioning things.

“i’m assuming france went successful.” you say.

“…it’s close.” he pauses before replying, seeming as if he’s finding the right words to say.

“what do you need?” you question.

“it’s winston. he’s been shot.” you freeze.

oh dear. you never really approved of the things he did but a soft spot was always present for him and charon. they helped you settle here in new york, but winston took you in even when he knew of your history with vincent. you swore to always help him in ways you could and now the opportunity presented itself.

the car sped down the street with you and john in tow. you hold your medical kit close to your lap, feeling uneasy with the thought of losing the old man. charon had been so recent and you don’t think you bear to lose the friends you’ve made along the way.

you glance at john and he looks calm and composed as usual, eerily so. a week earlier he was calm but you could feel his anger and determination simmering underneath his skin. now it looked like he was taking a walk in a park. you eye him carefully, uneasiness seeping in your stomach.

���did they give it to you?” you ask, he looks at you before clearing his throat.

“just an extension.” he answers, knowing exactly what you were referring to.

“to do what?” you ask again, john doesn’t budge and continues driving, ignoring your question. your eyes stay on him but he doesn’t look at you.

silence settles into the car and you lean back in your seat. you really wish your brought your gun with you right now. you don’t know why but you have a feeling that something is wrong right now, especially with john. he’s not telling you something.

or maybe it really is none of your business. perhaps he wanted to spare the bloody details of how he’s going to win his freedom back. you relax and try to forget the uneasiness, trying to remember that winston is the priority right now, you shut your eyes. all of your fears are gathering together and it’s making you overthink your interaction with john, everything’s okay.

the loud sound of drilling makes you open your eyes, you look at the window and you see a familiar street. 

the new york continental was being rebuilt.

your apprehensiveness returns.

“john?” you look at him once again, “who shot winston?”

“he got hit during the line of fire.” this time he replies.

bullshit. winston would have an emergency plan before the shooting started.

“in new york?” you press.

“yeah.”

another bullshit. you could see through his lies, he’s clearly fresh out of france. what was he trying to do? 

“j-john.” you voice shakes almost as if you’re begging. something happened in france, something that saved both winston and john.

he looks at you with regret in his eyes. not enough to save you for what’s about to come.

“where are you taking me?” you sputter, your heart beating fast in anxiety, “i’ve done nothing but help you, please don’t do this!”

“he took winston with him and he found out.” he quietly defends.

“please help me, i don’t want to go back!” you begin crying, tears rolling down your face, “he’ll kill me!” 

he makes no reply and continues driving. with no hope left with him, you try to open your side of the door. he immediately notices this and grabs your arm trying to stop you from leaving, you begin hitting him with your other arm.

you know that he doesn’t want to do this but it feels so unfair. you’ve saved his life only to throw yours away.

“let go of me!” you scream.

“i’m sorry.” 

you feel a prick in your neck.

you feel a heavy sensation pulling at your leg, your eyes feeling groggy still wanting to keep your lids closed. however the sensation persists and this forces you to open your eyes and sit up.

a dark room welcomes you, only a small lamp helping you take a small look of where you are. specifically, on a plush bed and a decorated room. your body feels heavy  from exhaustion which makes you lean back to the pillow behind you.

pondering what made you feel so tired when you haven’t done much for the night, you’ve sewn back together…a pair of assassins for the night? or was it three? two austrians and…who?a french? no…no..it was winston. 

that’s right.

wait.

only you didn’t treat winston.

you bolt up, your body seemingly sobers from the realization.

john brought you here in exchange for his freedom. 

you look around to see some sort of presence in the room but with the darkness it was hard to tell, nevertheless you hopped off the bed and bolted to the wooden door nearby. no wonder the place looked familiar, only the marquis would have a place as frivolous as this.

you need to leave right now. your hand reaches for the door until you find your body being slammed on the floor. a groan leaves your throat, in pain you massage your forehead and look around.

oh goodness.

a gasp leaves your mouth when you see a chain wrapped around your ankle, you inspect your foot before tracing the lines of chains, which were sourced on the thick foot of the bed you were on.

you tug it to check its strength and to see how long it actually goes. it was long enough to walk around the room but not long enough to reach the door. this is basically your fully furnished torture chamber. 

fuck. fuck. fuck.

a loud creak echoes through the room.

you really hate how things are right now.

he’s going to kill you. kill you for leaving him, how you easily made him look humiliated for being abandoned.

feeling your knees weaken you sit back on the bed and your hands shake in trepidation. the marquis’ simple presence made you scared of him, you felt tears falling down once again and you lowered your head, not wanting to look weak right now.

his footsteps are heard through the room, the door loudly closes shut, a thud echoing. he doesn’t say a word.

you feel everything leave your body. hope,freedom and life mostly.

he walks up to you until you see his shoes on the floor, a blurry sight entering your eyes due to the tears, he touches you, tilting your chin upwards and you do everything not to flinch. was he going to snap your neck?

you look at him and he still looks the same, slightly more mature.

but the same man you met a few years ago, if you jumped back into your rose tinted glasses, you’d probably see the vincent you cherished at some point if you weren’t so frightened right now.

he inspects you, his eyes wandering through your face. searching for something that’s supposed to be there, his lips part almost as if he’s about to say something but you beat him to it.

“i-i’m sorry. i’m sorry.” apologies spill out of your lips, wanting to take the chance of saving yourself, “i-i’m so sorry! i didn’t mean to.” you cry. your hand reaches up to his hand that held your chin and you grip it for mercy, his hold on you weakens.

he doesn’t say anything and leans forward to you. you need him to say something, anything, whether it meant he’d simply say he wants yuu dead.

“please forgive me, just please don’t kil-“ he cuts you off.

with a kiss.

not a firm one but a surprisingly soft kiss on your lips.

he takes your hands into his and fiddles with it, trying to find his place in them just like before, he halts the kiss and leans towards your face. the man right in front of you wasn’t the marquis, it was vincent. 

your vincent.

the one with soft eyes looking at you with relief and adoration. the gaze that looked at you as if you were the most precious thing on earth, he wipes the tears on your cheeks and the next thing he says dissolves all sense of worry out of you.

“i could never hurt you.” he whispers.

author’s note: this kinda doesn’t make sense bc im so braindead rn to expand things but basically vincent finds medic!reader through winston and in exchange for the continental and john’s freedom, john brings medic!reader back to vincent. so basically she got ratted out lolz. this would work better if i made a vincent pov would be fun but i have a bunch of prompts to work on…(tempting) + he literally chained her down to him (hshshsh marriage allegory…) i kinda want to be funky dynamic of obsessed man + “ngl what’s wrong with this guy but i vibe with it” woman

[mysticmellowlove]

pls needy!yan x ignoring!reader

note; feeling like an academic weapon in one class while being an academic victim in another is a harsh reality :')

warnings; fluff, so unserious lol, reading this back there is like a subtle yandereness whoops, it was cute though so i hope you still like it

There was one thing in this world that would never change. Work will always continue to be a part of your relaxing afternoons. As your fingers clacked on the keyboard, a riveting sound that had you considering if you'd buy one of those specifically clacky boards instead, the monotonous sound drowned out everything else.

A slow and exaggerated blink later and you realised that maybe two things would never change in this world. Your boyfriend, packaged in a small parcel of sugary sweet words and devious hands, was whining at you from the doorway to the office. If you were to look up from your computer and make eye contact there would be no escaping the resulting cuddle session.

Sometimes you wondered how he even survived without you before... though you'd never actually ask him that as he would most definitely say that he was basically dead. Your boyfriend really was just a funny little guy.

"Baby.... you've been working all day." A sigh came from the corner of the room. You schooled your expression as you took a sneaky peek from the corner of your eye, he was no longer at the door. You flicked between pages on your computer and tried to get back to your work.

"Have you forgotten about me?" A sulky tone seemed to drift closer, he was on the move again. A small laugh bubbled up, was he seriously doing this? You two had date night only yesterday, a whole night dedicated to taking him out and swamping him with affection.

In a matter of moments, you jumped as he launched himself onto your lap, his arms winding around your neck. He seemed to sink into you, his body instantly relaxing as you pursed your lips, a soft sigh leaving your mouth.

Still, you continued to work as he fiddled with the hair at your nape, twisting it around his fingers and slowly tugging at it. The urge to simply stop what you were doing and take a nap was high, but there were things you had to get done.

It began to get substantially harder when he began to pepper kisses on your neck, using his intimate knowledge of your sweet spots to try and drag your attention away from your computer. Willingly or not you felt your body relax as he lightly sucked on your skin, drawing it into his mouth.

"I'm busy." You muttered as you swapped your screen to the graph you were working on in excel, the numbers looking even more annoying than they did ten minutes ago. His smile seemed to spread as he pressed his face into your shoulder.

"But wouldn't it be better to spend time with me instead? You can finish this later." He whispered, his voice low and seductive as he peeled himself from your body. You dodged his gaze as he looked at you, an exaggerated pout on his lips.

"Let me take care of it, let me take care of you." He drawled as he leaned in and kissed the tip of your nose, then your forehead and then the side of your mouth. A huff of air left you as you leaned to the side to see the screen better.

"Babe." A certain tinge of harshness leeched into his voice for only a moment before he was kissing your eyelids, forcing them to close. An exasperated sigh left you as you finally let your hands clasped around his waist.

"Go sit on the couch, let me save this first and then we'll spend time together, yeah?" Despite the annoyed look on your face you couldn't help but melt under the cheesy grin he gave you.

"Of course! Love you baby!" He cooed as he jumped off of you and skipped over to the office door. You rolled your eyes as you hit the save button on your computer and went to stand up.

You spoilt him too much...

[paperstarwriters]

Sleep

Muriel x Reader

Warnings: Sleepy reader, a kiss is used to shut the reader up. Muriel manhandles reader a bit

Summary: It's late. You're tired, and Muriel is too. All he wants to do is bring you to bed.

[A/N]: Reader is currently me rn. I should really head to bed lol. Also, if this looks familiar, this is the file "A bed and a book" from that WIP Wednesday I did a while ago. (I'll link it tomorrow lol. I need to sleep...)

Masterlist | The Arcana Masterlist

Word count: 2,021

─────── ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 ───────

Muriel watches you amidst the growing cold of the hut.

He watches you tremble and shiver, as you work, too focused to notice your own quaking limbs, or too busy to give it any attention. The fire dies in the fireplace, and though there was plenty of firewood that he could easily restock the fire with, a roaring fire with no one to watch over it only ever spelled trouble.

Usually he didn't even let the fire keep going this late at night, but you needed it while you worked.

You also, however, needed sleep.

"It's late."

You hum, continuing to scribble as you mutter something about a fleeting idea before you respond.

"I know. Just let me finish this."

Muriel huffs. That's not the first time you've said that and he knows full well that it won't be the last either. He pulls himself from the warmth of the bed, where he had been waiting for you, and plants his feet on the cold floor. The feeling makes him flinch for a moment, and he decides with a sigh, that he would give you one more chance.

"No. It's really, really late."

"You don't have to wait up for me."

In another moment, in another context, Muriel might have blushed at being caught caring for you. At being caught waiting or anticipating your return to his side. Currently however, a streak of frustration, fleeting but hot, burns in his chest. He "doesn't have to"? If he didn't wait up for you, you'd waste yourself away working on your projects. If he didn't wait up for you, he'd have to fall asleep and wake up to empty arms as you sit there just within reach and yet so far away. If he didn't wait up for you, would you ever sleep at all?

Muriel scoffs, and he wonders if you can hear it through your work. He wonders if you can hear him stand from the bed, and stride over towards you. Hearing you gasp as he wraps his arms around you, he figures you didn't, which only serves to target the selfish and greedy part of him—the part that makes his frustration flare all the more at the absence of your attention, the absence of your body pressed against his own.

The look you give him, wide eyed and filled with a startled awe, serves to soothe him for a moment, easing that need for attention, but it brings back to his focus the dark circles under your eyes, and the tremble of your hands hovering over your paper. It's a horrible combination really. The selfish and greedy need for your attention, for your skin against his, made virtuous through his concern for your health and your desperate need for sleep. It made it all the more hard to tell the line where he was being greedy, and where he was being concerned. Yet, if he wanted you to be happy and healthy by his side, could that even really be called greed?

As shock melts into confusion, Muriel can feel your trembling body melt against his, relaxing into the offer of sleep and rest that you continue to deprive yourself of. Greed, Muriel decides, is a kind and necessary thing to indulge in if it means you get to rest.

"It's late," he reiterates.

You scoff, rolling your eyes as you glance around the room, clearly not believing time to have slipped past you so quickly. Knowing you’re delirious with exhaustion, he doesn't trust you to realize that he had stocked the fireplace earlier that day to burn late into the night, and that no, he did not do anything that may speed up the burning process in any way.

Instead, he drags his hand down to your own, trembling as you grip your pen as if you feared it might be ripped away from you in any given moment. Though the temptation to do so is there, he knows full well how ineffective that would be. Instead, he trails his hand down your forearm. The rest of your arm is still pinned down by his in a half hug, but he doesn't even need to exert much pressure to keep you in place—your exhaustion doing most of that work for him.

Fresh from the confines of the bed, his hand and body still cling to the remains of warmth, a sharp contrast to your own, left night-chilled in the absence of the fireplace. It's clear, with the trail of goosebumps and shivers that appear in the wake of his touch, that you're freezing right now, and in desperate need of blankets and warm, warm cuddles.

His hand makes his way down to yours eventually, and he can see the twitch of your fingers as you're tempted to drop the pen to take his hand into your own. Pressing his thumb to the seam of your wrist and your palm,  Muriel feeds the temptation, massaging the tender skin as best he can manage despite his calloused fingers. He’s careful not to seem too desperate for you to relax and drop your work to follow him back into the warm embrace of the bed. Up and down, he works his thumb from the centre of your palm to your pulse on your wrist. Little by little your hand sags in his hold, your pen drooping and slipping from loosened fingers, until it finally falls and leaves a splatter of ink on the wood of the table.

Your eyes dart down and your hand tenses up prepared to apologize and clean up your little mess, but Muriel refuses to let you fuss over something so trivial when your own health is at risk. His face dips into the crook of your neck, his lips spattering kisses against your skin luring you further into his embrace until your eyes flutter closed and your head bobs against his shoulder, fighting a futile battle against the urge to sleep.

Letting go of your hand, and slipping his hand instead beneath your legs to scoop you from your seat, Muriel realizes that he too must be a little delirious with sleep. Blush grows against his face, while he continues to press kisses against your skin, but he doesn't have much energy left to care about how embarrassing his affections may be. Instead, he sighs his lips still pressed against your skin as he pulls you into bed.

"Next time, I'm dragging you to bed the moment the sun goes down," he blurts, uncaring for any embarrassing connotations you might derive from his words. Instead, he focused on holding you close against him, in his arms where you belonged as you wormed your own arms around him, finally settling into his embrace.

At least, he thought you were settling into his embrace.

Despite how your body was nearly a puddle of boneless goop in his arms, exhausted and ready for sleep, you try to turn looking back to the table where your pen and papers lay.

"my pen—" you try to argue.

"it's fine," he mutters, his voice a bit gruff with his own exhaustion. "Go to sleep"

"But the ink—"

"it's fine," he grumbles again, squeezing you tighter in case you tried to slip free. "Go to sleep"

"But—"

Muriel sighs again, loud and irritated and tired, before he leans in and seals your lips with his own. He knows that tomorrow, if he thinks to long about the events of last night, he'll burn himself with how hard he'd blush, but today, all he wants is for you to go to sleep and get some well deserved rest. He's willing to sacrifice a little embarrassment if it means you sleep.

Even if he'd find himself embarrassed tomorrow, he hopes that it'll be washed out with the pride he feels in the moment, burning bright and making his chest tight, as he feels you sag in his arms. You’re melting from his kiss alone and that makes his heart soar. The effect he has just from kissing you is wonderful sure, but it's the evidence that he knows you that makes him feel the warmest. He knows how to get you to relax. He knows how to make you feel comfortable enough to finally go to sleep. Pulling back, he settles himself back into the crook of your neck, grinning from accomplishments, as he feels you finally seem to drift of to sleep.

Of course, seem is the word of focus here. Since, moments later, Muriel can feel you once again trying to squirm free from his embrace. Though he keeps his eyes closed amidst your little struggle, he holds you tighter, muttering in a sleep raged voice for what seems like the hundredth time.

“Go to sleep.”

You fall limp at his request, though he's more than awake enough to realize what you're trying to do. Waiting and biding your time for him to fall asleep before you. He sighs at the notion, and changes tactics.

"What's wrong?"

You're silent for a moment, still feigning sleep even if he can feel your heartbeat's staccato rhythm from where you're pressed against his chest. He doesn't push though, almost hoping that you'd fall asleep while pretending to do so, but he still waits for your reply, whether it comes or not.

"I just... I have an idea I want to write down."

"You can write it down tomorrow."

"But what if I forget?"

Muriel pauses. The temptation to wave away your concerns with a simple argument like, "if it's important you'll remember tomorrow," sits on his tongue, but he can't help but reflect an answer onto himself. Perhaps it was the constant wash of affection that you'd give him, or how you were often so eager to denounce whatever quiet self-deprecating thoughts he might voice aloud, or maybe it was just how often he was spending time outside of himself, and with you, or Asra, or the others. He doesn't know what exactly caused it, but he knows how it affects him now. He's important, and yet he was forgotten. To you, this project is the same.

This matters to you. Denying its importance will get him nowhere he wants to be.

"You can tell me," he offers, "I'll remember it."

"You're already half asleep."

Muriel cracks an eye open, "you are too."

Your attempt to refute his statement falls short when you yawn, which makes him yawn as well, though his is half muffled around his smile.

"alright, fine," you mutter eventually, tucking your face against his chest. Your arms squirm from their place trapped beneath his own, this time though, rather than escaping, you wrap your arms around him as you finally settle in his embrace for good.

He listens as long as he can, to you talk about the solutions to the puzzle you have noted down in your book, but you're mostly talking to yourself, thinking through the issue, refuting your own claims as you drift off, voice growing weaker and weaker before you finally sag against him, and Muriel can finally settle in against you, able to fall asleep now that you're in his arms, and he is in yours.

Before he settles however, he takes a moment to appreciate his reward, pressing a kiss against your eyelids, before he leans back and appreciates your relaxed and sleeping expression, whispering. You deserve rest like this. You deserve to relax. You've been so busy lately, he doesn't want to see you in pain.

When he finally tucks himself by your side and presses his cheek against your skin, Muriel can't help but chuckle at the chance to just fall asleep just like that. He knows it clings to him now. That falling asleep would be just as easy as that, but it hadn't always been. Sitting up forced to deal with swirling thoughts alone had once been the bane of his existence, but now, curled up with you by his side, he could talk if he needed to, just like you needed to earlier.

Now, falling asleep is as easy as one... two...

....

In the dying moments of his consciousness, Muriel continues to stare at you, pressing another kiss against your sleeping face, as he whispers precious words, fully aware you can't hear him. It doesn't really matter anyways. He'll tell you them all again tomorrow night. And if you can't hear it then, he'll tell you the next day, then the day after that, and the day after that.

"I love you," he mutters. "Goodnight."

[sinning-23]

Net Pt.2 (Shanks x Siren!Reader)

someone asked for part two and it blew up so uhhh here part two for my shanks loving bbgrls!

warnings: definelty pron with plot lol, tension, kissing, intense touching, p in v, never been touch, slow and gentle smeggs. uhh yeah, loss of virginity? Sorta?

Pt.1 Found Here

You gasp, feeling his hands slide under the fabric of your shirt. Cold. You huff at the feeling, breathless at his touch. Your lips don't stop, the two of you just barely separating for air before going back to being stuck like glue.

"Will you?" He asks, eyes soft and pleading desperate.

Stay with him? Live this life of piracy and be protected and loved by him? Be held and kissed and touch in places you'd yet to discover on yourself? Youd be a fool to say no.

Like clumsy young adults you sprint with one another to his quarters, the door locking before he's back on you, whimpers and moans just as musical as the creaky floorboards when you're backed against his bed.

Fear settles in your heart, well no, not fear, anxiety. He can see it and only kissed the top of your head, slowing his pace.

“Slow. Okay guppy?” He smiles, seeing you nod.

He scoots you back, your body upright but comfortable against then pillows. Shanks opts to work his way down, making sure you knew just how precious you were to him. Soft and slightly chapped lips brush over your scales and the flesh of your necks, praises fall from his lips like a prayer.

It makes your tummy turn, a wave of emotions flooding your mind and body like you’d never felt before. For someone who’s lived their whole life in the ocean you were almost too sure this is what it felt like to be seasick, a loved, nervously, excited mess.

“Focus.” He hums, seeing the emotional roller coaster your conscious had gone on.

And you did, finally letting yourself just relax. His hands aren’t cold anymore, and they slide down the fabric of your shirt, exposing your chest to him. It’s only a little embarrassing but the embarrassment is soon overpowered by pleasure.

Your back arches into him when he takes one into his mouth, sucking and licking the sensetive bud while his free hand bust barely grazed over the other. A moan slips past your lips and you feel him grin as he unlatches and decides to kiss down your stomach.

“I-I don’t, how do we even-I’ve never-“ You gasp, the feeling of his fingers over your wetness making yoo shirt circuit.

“I do remember saying we’d go slow, right? We’ll work out way up love.” He explains, just barely circling your clit, enjoying how you unraveled before him.

“I- please.” You beg, not sure of what you were asking for.

Maybe for him to not stop, to stop teasing and let you feel his fingers fill you up. Desperation is what that was. Pure, horned up, desperation.

“I know love, I know. Are you okay for me to-?” He doesn’t finish, only pushing your folds open slowly as your head lols back an your mouth falls open in a silent moan.

“Yea, please keep touching me. Dont stop touching me.” You whine, curses in your native tongue rolling off your swollen lips. You’re now gripping his forearm, nails leaving indents in the flesh there.

Your eyes lock, yours glossy, his desperate, and promising.

"Oh honey when you ask like that I’ll touch you whenever you want for as long as you want I promise." He sighs, connecting your lips again as he begins to pump two fingers in and out of you, your wetness making the process a bit easier.

He’s gently, knowing that you've never touched or been touched like this. He knows its rather overwhelming and the last thing he wasn't to do if make you feel, uncomfortable.

You cling to him, letting him suck and lick the flesh of your neck, spots of purple being left in his wake. You do the same though, marking him as yours with a smile. You gasp when he hits that softer spot inside you, your head falling onto his shoulder.

He knows your close, velet walls fluttering around his fingers as he used his free hand to rub circlesover your sensitive nub. It feels so much hotter than before, your legs feeling like jelly when he takes the initiative to fold them a little more and guide you to wrap them around his waist.

“That’s it, let yourself feel good. Let me make you feel good.” He whispers, pupils wide as he watched you pall apart from his touch.

You can feel your body squeeze, muscles feeling tight as he speeds up a bit, the sound of your squelching only filling you with embarrassment. It didn’t last long though, because before you could warn him of this feeling of pleasurable impending doom, you snap.

And alll he does it smile, slowing his back as you two your head back, squeezing him as if he’d suddenly disappear.

Shanks is back on you, kissing you through your damn near earth shattering orgasm with a smile. He knows you’ll feel empty when he pulls his fingers out of you so as a sort of courtesy he doesn’t stop, still keep that agonizingly slow pace.

“That’s it my love. Gods you look beautiful like that. So pretty cumming over my fingers.” He hums, finally removing them from you and raising them to his mouth.

“Shanks!” You gasp, trying you tug his hand away but it’s too late, the action making you burn up.

He doesn’t respond, only pressing his lips to yours, sliding his tongue between your teeth as you moan into him, further relaxing. It’s somehow bitter and sweet.

“Just wanted you to see how good you taste.” He chuckles, placing his hat atop your head.

“Now, let’s get you cleaned up, hm?” He finishes, kissing your forehead before turning to find something to clean you with.

He’s soft, pulling you into one of his shirts which is far too big for you. He kisses the top of your head, your eyelids, your nose, and finally your lips. The silent agreement of sleep written over your faces.

Yeah, you’d be a fool to say no to this.

Tag list: @gingernut1314 @commanderfreethatdust @justrandom20

[fandomwritingbit]

Can you do William fucking the sense into (afab) reader and telling her how much of a "stupid fucking whore" she is? ;) Thanks x

I absolutely bloody can! Sorry this took so long, reqs are moving slow cos my life's a shambles lol.

william afton x (afab)reader

warnings: smut duh, kinda a dom/sub thing here reader is sub, degration and inappropriate relationship.

You had no words, your singular thought swimming around your head like a goldfish with one fin: you'd fucked up.

Here you were in your boss's office, a place you'd been many times, but that now seemed very foreign indeed.

"So stupid, look at you." William sneered, his hand coated with your excitement. Actually, maybe that wasn't the right word for it. It was more... anticipation.

His hand was careless, fingers plunging in and out of your pussy like he was trying to prove a point. It was bizarre, he was pushing all the right buttons, trying to make your feel good, but it almost felt malicious and as turned on as you were, your stomach was in knots with the thought of what he was going to do to you.

You were close already, looking at this man in desperation, "...Fuck."

"Is this all you've been thinking about? Too focused on having someone uses this little pussy to do your fucking job properly, huh?" His fingers curled deep inside you, throwing you over your edge. You were too lost in the twitching sensation he'd forced from you to answer, so he shoved you back onto his desk, his expression harsh.

Standing over you, you'd never felt so small, he continued, "So useless that I had to take you off accounts. Had to put you on bookings? But you can't even do that right."

Just watching him with wide eyes, you couldn't think to speak.

"What, got nothing to say for yourself?" He grabbed hold of your chin, tilting it back in a sharp movement that made a gasp fall from your lips.

"Fuck... please, Mr Afton."

"Please what?" Still dumb, you simply reach forward, placing your hand over his hard cock through his trousers.

Surprisingly, he smirked at you, but it did nothing to make you feel at ease. Something about him right now scared you a fair bit, but you were practically dripping and a tight feeling in your core was begging to be loosened.

He let you palm him, quickly unfastening his belt. You bite your lip at the sight of him, the picture of his cock dragging against your cunt was filthy. "Tell you what, I'll fuck you good, if you tell me what a stupid fucking whore you are." He punctuates his sentence by slowly pressing his tip inside you, making you whine from the size of him.

"What was that?" His tone was sharp, though when you looked up at him, he was smirking.

When you again don't say anything, he catches your legs and pulls you flush against him, his cock thrusting fully inside you.

Grunting slightly, he speaks directly against your skin, "Fucking say it."

As you open your mouth to speak, he begins a rough pace, cutting you off with your own surprised shriek.

Your brain was absolute mush, but you obey him, not wanting him to stop. You felt so needy as his movement hit you deep.

"I-I'm a stupid fu-fucking whore." you speak quietly, unconsciously wrapping your legs tight around his waist.

He grunts, pushing you further down towards the desk.

"Mr Afton." He corrects. "Say it again." You feel his teeth against your neck as his hand slips between the two of you, over your clit.

"Ah-shit. I'm a stupid fucking whore... Mr Afton." You damn-near choke as you cum again, your walls clamping down on him taking him to his end as well.

His pace was lethal as he finished inside you, leaving you a complete mess both physically and mentally.

Pulling out of you, he smiled, taking a moment to look over the sight be fore him .

"Well, there is one thing you're good for."

[venusjeon]

rock god

you've got one year left to either finish your novitiate and become a nun like your parents always wanted, or leave the order and live a secular life like you've always wanted. but the fact that a sister's flirty nephew is staying in the convent for the summer provides a perfect distraction to such headache.

♔ PAIRING: rockstar!jungkook x novice!reader

♔ GENRE: 80s au, angst, smut, humour, fluff, s2f2l

♔ WORD COUNT: 16.3k another long one i'm sorry

♔ WARNINGS: minor characters death, religious themes, catholic guilt, smoking weed, swearing, sacrilege and exhibitionism: fingering in a church, profanity, blasphemy, quiet sex & loss of virginity (you're probably thinking girl AGAIN?), protected sex, betrayal, one mention of rape

♔ AUTHOR'S NOTE: for an atheist i do seem to write a lot about religion lol. the first song jk writes & performs for reader + the inspiration for the title is rock god by selena gomez, and the second one church by chase atlantic. i recommend you listen to them in advance☺️ also, we'll pretend jk is blond in the banner okay?

1986

The day was going incredibly slow, as all of last month’s had.

Most people would attribute that to the fact that you were a novice, but their idea of what that entailed was far from the reality. Contrary to popular belief and even if some sisters wished it was the case, cloistered nuns didn’t spend all day just praying. There were many other things to keep busy with in a convent, such as attending to one’s studies, doing household chores, or working to bring money in and keep the place going. Free time had never been the part of the day you looked the most forward to, though, until recently. Not that it got any better then.

Contradictory as though it was, you were kept from the present by the same plaguing thoughts you didn’t want to be left alone with… And sometimes, such as now, you didn’t have any choice but to force yourself back into reality, running late as you were.

The novice mistress Sister Daeun—that is, the one responsible for the training of the novices—had assigned you to fix the torn seams on your classmates’ habits that morning. Hey, someone had to do it. So off you ran through the cloister not to melt under the same sun others didn’t seem to mind.

Others being Jungkook and the group of girls who gathered around to listen to him play the guitar.

The presence of men wasn’t rare in your abbey, built some centuries back. It was sort of shut off from the rest of the world, hidden up in a mountain, but lost hikers always wandered into it and the abbot was more than happy to let them spend a night or two as guests, regardless of their gender.

Jungkook was a guest too.

He was in a rock band, or so you’d heard, and that career choice was why his parents had kicked him out, something you’d pity him for if he wasn’t always in a cheery mood whenever you chanced to see him around. Of course, what guy wouldn’t, surrounded by girls?

It didn’t bother you that some of your less spiritual sisters succumbed to his tattoos, long dyed blond hair, charming voice, and piercings. Their parents would doubtlessly tell them to stay away from someone who looked like a delinquent—your conscience did too—but then again, they were the ones who’d forcefully made them join the order, so you understood where the girls’ disobedience came from. On a personal level, in fact.

Though not because of the same reason, you weren’t there willingly either.

Unlike theirs, your behaviour wasn’t scandalous in any way and there was no need for you to be schooled in rectitude, no. This was just the path your parents had wanted you to take since you were little and you’d resigned to comply, however unhappy it made you. It wasn’t that you wouldn’t make a good nun, devout as you’d been raised and actually enjoyed being, but it wasn’t your calling.

Leaving the lively cloister behind and trying to do the same with your affliction, you rushed to your destination.

About three hours later, you were still sat in front of the sewing machine in the otherwise empty laundry room, humming on a loop the part of the song Jungkook had been playing earlier. You couldn’t deny it was catchy... Besides, you needed a tune to distract you from the machine’s repetitive noise and the summer heat, or else you’d go crazy. Maybe you had already, given you’d failed to notice someone opening the creaky door and walking in.

“Hello?”

Startled, you raised your head to meet the eyes of the rockstar himself, filled with something akin to interest. “Oh, hi...”

Jungkook chuckled. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” Before you could kindly tell him not to worry, that it was your fault for spacing out, he grabbed the hem of his shirt to show you the hole in it that until then you hadn’t caught sight of. “I was told to come here to get this fixed?” He then glanced at the dozen habits lying on the table you still had to work on, and changed his mind not to burden you, “But I can come another time– Or not at all! I mean, ripped clothes are trendy, aren’t they?”

For the first time in a while, you laughed genuinely and not out of courtesy, “I wouldn’t know, there’s not much variety in a novice’s wardrobe.” Since Jungkook’s t-shirt would just take a moment to mend and you didn’t mind helping him, you decided to neglect your current task without a second thought, holding out your hand with a smile. “It’s alright, really!”

“You’re an angel.” He smiled back as he took off his t-shirt, exposing a toned body you weren’t prepared for. Bet he says that to all the girls, intruded a thought in your mind as though to make go away the uplift of his compliment, but you brushed it off before he reached the table. “By the way, was that my song you were just humming?”

“Oh? I heard you sing it earlier, but I didn’t know it was yours,” you said while getting to work. Meanwhile, Jungkook leaned against the door’s frame. “I don’t really listen to music much.”

“What?!” He was utterly shocked, eyes wide like he’d seen a ghost. “That’s the greatest sin of all! I’ll have a serious conversation with the abbot, they’re not teaching you girls the important stuff here.” Father Jimin would certainly be amused at such a request. “But I did see you running earlier in the cloister, now that I think about it. It is hot, Y/N, but I don’t believe the floor is in flames.”

He knows my name? What a stupid question. Whoever had told him to come to the laundry room must have seen you entering it and mentioned you’d be there.

“Yeah, I was late, had overslept. It probably looked like someone was chasing me… Nun on the run!” you rhymed out of nowhere. “There’s a title for your next single.”

“If naming my songs will get you to listen to them, I’m down.” You looked up from the task at hand to ask him if that meant he’d credit ‘Sister Y/N’ as a songwriter, but the sight of someone walking down the hallway towards the laundry room scared the words away. “You know, you’re too pretty to be a nun.”

Sister Daeun, now right behind Jungkook, smacked the back of his head and asked, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Jungkook’s smile turned into a pout as he rubbed the spot. “Nothing, aunty. Ouch…”

Yes, he was her nephew, which was the main reason why Father Jimin had allowed him to stay not just for a few days, but the whole summer. Sister Daeun had promised on his behalf that as a thanks, he would help around to earn his bed and under no circumstances put in peril anyone’s vow of chastity. If he weren’t so good-looking, you imagined she wouldn’t have needed to make that promise.

“Y/N…” she sighed when she saw the pile of habits you had yet to fix the seams of. Despite the disappointment in her voice, she made sure to say tactfully, “It’s almost midday, I asked you to have all of them done before ten.”

Jungkook was the only one in the room who had no clue as to why you’d been working so slowly, but he didn’t hesitate to step forward when your head lowered in shame. “My bad, I’ve been distracting her for hours. And on top of it, I gave her more work…”

He approached the sewing machine, got his t-shirt, and put it on, all while you stared at him at a loss for words. Why would he take the blame? Sister Daeun started telling you to finish some other time and get ready for lunch, but you stopped listening, attention fixed on Jungkook as he discreetly winked at you before leaving.

That wasn’t the last time you met that day. Well, incorrect, because it was past midnight.

Like many nights before, guilt stirred a restlessness that kept you from falling asleep, the only solution you could think of being walking around the empty abbey in the hope of tiring your body and with it, your brain. It wasn’t that easy, though, often hours how long you’d wander about, always ending up at the cloister. Sitting on the stone base between the columns and gazing up at the stars brought some peace to you. More than praying, it appeared.

That night, such peace was disrupted when barely after ten minutes of it, the sound of a lighter being flicked made your head whip around.

“So you do have hair,” Jungkook joked as he sat against a column, bending one knee so he could rest his elbow on it. Although a bit embarrassed you were in your pyjamas and thus wearing no white veil that covered your head in front of a guy you didn’t know, you did the same on the next column to be able to face him. “Can’t sleep either?”

“Lately, not.”

He puffed at his joint before offering it to you, and a short laugh broke through your lips. Was he seriously tempting a novice to burn one with him? To be fair, he did mean to help you sleep, but it was still a bit… much for you. “I’ll pass, thank you.”

“Yeah, probably not a good idea,” Jungkook nodded at his own words before taking another puff, blowing the smoke to a side so it wouldn’t reach you. “I don’t want your parents to make a complaint because there’s a bloke loose in the convent corrupting the nuns. Can’t afford to be kicked out of here, too,” he whispered the last bit, as though talking to himself.

“Don’t worry, that’s not happening.”

“Why not? Are you girls not allowed visits or something?”

“No, we are, it’s just… they died last month. Car crash.”

“Shit, I’m so sorry.” You could see in Jungkook’s wide eyes how much he regretted bringing them up. “That explains why you were out of sorts this morning... Agh, I can’t believe they’re still making you do work, what a bunch of heartless pricks! Not to mention class, I mean, isn’t it summer?”

His indignation for your sake came as a surprise. Ignorantly, you’d allowed prejudices to decide what kind of person Jungkook was before he got the chance to show you himself. The familiar guilt well-deservedly returned to grip your heart.

“Father Jimin actually had me switch jobs with some sisters so that I’d get to do less demanding stuff,” you came to the poor abbot’s defence. “It makes no difference, but he’s not to blame nothing can.”

"Doesn’t praying help?” He took another puff, lips curling into a smirk at the thought that next crossed his mind. “I thought nuns had a direct line with God.”

The truth was your relationship with the Lord had strained. As someone whose thoughts and desires couldn’t help but fall into sin over and over, you didn’t feel worthy of His comfort, or dared ask for guidance. His or anybody’s.

“I have to go through the telephonist angels first, I’m not an official nun yet.” The muscles of your face relaxed, gaze falling to your lap. “To be honest, I don’t think I want to be.”

Jungkook’s head cocked to a side. “Really? So, what are you doing here? You don’t strike me as the type forced by her p– uh, family.”

“I do like this place and what they’re teaching us, but I’m here because my parents wanted a saintly daughter who could put in a good word for them up there. I tried telling them once that I have dreams of my own, but it ended in an argument they had the last word in. Now that they’re dead, it’s like the topic is permanently sealed, I can never talk them out of it. And I mean, I love them, so how can I disappoint them? What would it say about me if I waited until my parents were dead to disobey them?”

Only after you finished venting did it dawn on you that perhaps you’d said too much. After all, what did Jungkook care? What did anyone?

“What’s your dream?”

The question took you aback, but you still answered, “I’d like to go to university, get married someday, have kids... Not be trapped inside these four walls for the rest of my life, you know?”

“I know exactly what you mean, trust me,” Jungkook said quietly before puffing at his joint again. “You’re free to leave, though, right? I don’t need to master-plan an escape?”

You hummed a laugh, mindful not to be loud enough to wake anyone up, given neither of you should be out of bed. There may or may not have been a curfew you were breaking, as well as a tradition called the Great Silence in which everyone kept quiet from the final liturgical prayer of the day until the earliest one the next morning. It was a rule often broken, especially by you, but that didn’t mean the abbey wasn’t dead silent.

“Anytime I want, yes, only next year I’m supposed to take my solemn vows.” Jungkook nodded but a slight frown gave away he didn’t know what that meant. “Poverty, chastity, and obedience? It’s like a wedding with Jesus. I can always divorce him, but that doesn’t mean marriage is a light affair.”

Most orders didn’t work like that. There were various stages one had to go through before becoming a professed nun: an optional aspirancy, then a postulancy, a novitiate, and finally, a juniorate. Since you’d gone to Catholic school all your life, you’d skipped the first, done no more than a few months of the second, were about to start the final year of the third, and would not be doing the fourth since your convent didn’t teach it. Instead of six more years of formation before taking your perpetual vows, then, you had only one.

“Damn, and here I thought I had the most fucked up horoscope of the year. Maybe we were born on the same month.”

“What do you mean?”

“Doesn’t everyone know my parents kicked me out because I want to be a rockstar?”

“Yeah...”

Once again, you’d assumed wrongly about him. That because of his profession and looks, he was a rebellious kid who hated his parents and was glad to be rid of them. You hadn’t even considered their shunning might be putting him through a hard time.

“Look, disappointing your parents beats living a miserable life just to please them, even if it sucks. One day we’ll be old, and I personally want to look back and not regret my youth, feel like I wasted it. I’m not gonna tell you what to do but if you want my opinion, getting out of here and chasing your dreams says no more than you’re in charge of your own life.”

You had no idea why after that, Jungkook had taken it as his mission to stick with you.

It was common knowledge that you’d barely uttered ten words since your parents’ accident, so all eyes were drawn like magnets when you engaged in conversation with him of all people for hours on end. Since you came from vastly different worlds, it surprised you too that even though his company didn’t lessen your guilt, it was the best way to distract you from it. And precisely, that was his intention.

He would sit next to you at meals, trying to convince the sisters around the table in all seriousness that because they were cloistered, they weren’t aware Earth had been invaded by aliens last year.

“Do you think we’re stupid?” a postulant asked, giggles escaping you at how ridiculous the conversation you were having was. “Some of us do go out sometimes, I think we would’ve noticed.”

“They want you to think everything’s normal because only an army of nuns can defeat them!”

“How do we know you’re not one of them, huh?” you played along, narrowing your eyes in suspicion while Jungkook placed a hand on his chest, feigning shock.

“Aunty will vouch for me but even if not, I can’t believe you’d doubt me. We’ve known each other for like, what, a week? That’s enough for me to follow you into battle.”

“Sorry but can’t be too careful during an alien invasion.”

“That I warned you about! Why would I say anything in the first place?”

“I’ve been here for many years,” an older nun chimed in from the other side of the table, making everyone turn their attention to her. She addressed Jungkook, “You’ve just reminded me why I joined the order.”

He blinked, dumbfounded. “Why, sister?”

“Men talk so much nonsense it makes my head hurt.”

To see Jungkook argue playfully about aliens and men with a seventy-year-old nun who was having none of his shit was an experience, but it wouldn’t be just that.

Like you’d told him, Father Jimin had allowed you to switch jobs. Your old one consisted of embellishing clothes with elaborate religious embroideries—hence why Sister Daeun had asked for your help with the torn habits—that would later be sold on a street market stall in town beside other products manufactured by your sisters, whereas your new one required almost no effort.

There was an old married couple nearby who ran a goat farm, and a small group of nuns from your convent helped them in exchange of a portion of the food they made, instead of a salary. Father Jimin was clearly trying his best to raise your spirits when he’d assigned you to tend to the cutest new-born goats, but it wasn’t until Jungkook tagged along and you saw him struggle with the baby bottles, spilling milk all over his clothes and cursing at the tiny animals, that the abbot’s goal was achieved.

“No, no, no, come back, you little shit!” He chased a hoppy kid around the barn, unable to contain that lovely high-pitched laugh.

“How are you making a mess out of literally the easiest thing in the world?” you teased from the bag of pine shavings you were sat on, another kid resting otherwise peacefully on your lap.

“That’s easy for you to say, I’ve got Psycho making me do cardio over here!”

“Try this one,” you giggled, motioning to the empty spot beside you with your head so Jungkook would sit down. When he did, you lay the kid on his lap carefully and brought the baby bottle to its mouth, both of you watching as it fed without any problem. “See?”

It didn’t take long for the milk to run out, after which you and Jungkook stroked the kid to sleep while the other one still hopped around, sharing a smile when your fingers accidentally brushed.

Because he’d tag along, you agreed to helping out in the kitchen on another day, as time was somehow bearable if he was there. But you were still going through the motions, your parents’ absence ever-present.

“What do you think?” Jungkook stirred you awake from your trance. “Bitchin’, right? The best thing you’ve ever heard?”

The song that got stuck in your head the day you met was playing on a boombox he’d brought from his van and put on the worktop while the two of you and three other sisters cooked lunch.

The girl you’d just heard, he had explained, was the band’s lead singer Amber, whom he sometimes joined apart from playing the guitar. There were also a Hoseok on the drums and a Taehyung on the bass. Bangtan, their name was. You’d never heard of them.

“I’m not sure about the lyrics,” meaning all the cursing and allusions to sex, which got your sisters flustered in the background, “but I like the tune.”

“The tune…”

“I’m just more used to church songs, is all.” Jungkook’s eyes lit up. “No.” You knew he was thinking exactly of blasting his rock songs in the middle of Mass.

“Why not?” he asked as a joke while trying to steal a couple of french fries from a dish. You slapped his hand before he could.

“Because Father Jimin will exile you, duh.”

“And don’t you think I’ll give up yet. I’ll be found outside your cell’s window playing music on my boombox until you agree to go out with me.” You should’ve cast away the heat before it reached your cheeks, as his flirting was obviously just for fun. Something he did with all girls and which meant nothing. “Better yet, I’ll write you a song.”

“I don’t think a novice is the perfect muse for a rock song, especially if it’s about…”

Jungkook shook his head. “I’ll keep it PG-13 for you, I promise.” He then grinned, rubbing his hands together. “I’ll start working on it tonight.”

You weren’t together at all times, though. No, you had class, he had work, sometimes you didn’t see him for whole days. Such was the case one cloudy afternoon around three weeks after first meeting, when Father Jimin approached you in the cloister. It had been a while since your last visit to his confessional box, so you feared a scolding.

“I wanted to talk to you, actually,” he said with that distinctive, soothing voice of his as you walked together, “about Jungkook.”

Your heart missed a beat for a reason that escaped your knowledge. It felt, somehow, as though you’d been caught doing something you shouldn’t. “What about him, Father?”

“I hadn’t seen you smile for a while and now it’s all you do when he’s by your side. I know the past month has been very difficult, so it makes me happy to see you get through the loss of your parents, Y/N.” Did it really look like things were fine? Well, better that than having everyone worry about you until things got fixed, if that ever happened. “However,” Father Jimin continued, “as your Spiritual Director, it’s my duty to advise you not to rely too much on someone other than God for solace. There’s a reason for enclosure, so that the outside world doesn’t distract us from religion. Unless… you’ve reconsidered your life as a nun? There’d be nothing wrong with that.”

What Jungkook had told you that first night, you’d been chewing on ever since, but God and your parents had long won the war. ‘Honour thy father and thy mother’ was one of the Ten Commandments, after all.

“I have no doubts. I belong here.”

The last time you’d stepped in town had been for the funeral, but Bangtan was doing a gig at what Jungkook claimed was the coolest venue he’d ever been in and he’d managed to persuade the other members to perform Rock God, the song he’d pulled an all-nighter to write. You didn’t know what a title like that had to do with someone like you but apparently, the lyrics were from your point of view.

“You have to come,” he’d begged for the millionth time across the table the previous day, interrupting your Bible reading in the library. Luckily, nobody else was there, or had been before his arrival.

‘Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.’

Did that mean He would forgive you for the sin of going against your parents’ wishes? That you could hang the white veil and live how you dreamed of? The next passages from the Book of Isaiah answered those questions.

‘If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land: But if ye refuse and rebel, ye shall be devoured with the sword: for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.’

In other words, you were fucked. There was no way out.

“I’d have to ask Father Jimin for permission, and I don’t think he’d let me go to a rock concert.”

You’d laughed to yourself at the idea but Jungkook had been serious, insisted, “Tell him you want to go buy groceries or something, he won’t say no to you.”

“You mean, ‘lie to him because he’ll take pity on you.’”

“Please.” He’d sank his elbows on the table, leaning so close you almost had to back away. You would have, had he not bewitched you with the most angelic of smiles. “Do it for me? I’ll tell Saint Peter I made you do it so he lets you in Heaven.”

That’s how you ended up in the queue for his concert, holding a plastic bag full of stationary you’d told Father Jimin you needed for class.

Jungkook had given you no ticket, said telling the security guy your name would suffice, and surely enough ‘Sister Y/N’ got you in. The habit had wisely been left at home, but the man still frowned at your modest outfit before putting a wristband on you that was a different colour than everyone else’s. You assumed it meant you were VIP.

There was a secluded area with round tables near the stage you were indeed taken to, where only a handful of other people were hanging out, waiting for the show to begin. You wouldn’t have thought of approaching them, as there was likely nothing you had in common, with them or anyone in the whole poorly lit venue. If you were there, out of your comfort zone, it was for Jungkook only.

The lights at some point changed colours and finally, the concert began. Bangtan got on the stage and performed song after song, giving their all to an audience that cheered loudly. You cheered too, captivated by a Jungkook who made you feel things with every look he gave you.

His blond hair was wet, whether with water, product, or sweat you didn’t know, but it dripped down his curls to his ripped clothes which allowed a glimpse of the inked skin of his torso. When had he got new tattoos? They weren’t there the day he’d got his t-shirt off for you to sew. You had never paid much attention to those that covered his veiny right arm and hand, but now you found yourself tickled by the fact, and wanting to see them up close. Definitely the tattoos, not his bare body… But most tantalising of all was the passionate way he played his electric guitar, moving around the stage with a confidence that made it clear he belonged there.

With that confidence, though, came a cockiness that had him eye-fucking every pretty girl in the crowd. Who’s to say he didn’t write songs for them too? Not to mention Amber, to whom he sometimes got so close you feared they were going to kiss—as did their fans, judging by their screams of excitement.

The last song of the night was Rock God, which he made sure to announce by enthusiastically mouthing you ‘This is it!’. You braced yourself for the lyrics.

Preacher man walked into the club, and he said He said, "Hey girl, can't you walk and not stray?" Father, I'm torn and I'm selling my soul to the Rhythm, the beat and the bass 'Cause I can't confess my rock and roll ways (Ooh) 'Cause I'm so possessed with the music The music he plays

Was the preacher man supposed to be Father Jimin? He wasn’t likely to walk in the venue right then, but the idea of him attending a rock concert was so absurd it made you smile. You guessed the tone of the song before Amber had even got to the chorus.

I can't stop my feet from dancing to the sound of his drum (Oh no) I fell in love with my rock god I can't keep my hips from swaying to his sweet melody You see, I fell in love with my rock, rock god

Oh, so not only did you like his music in this narrative, but you were also in love with him? You raised an eyebrow at that, to which he failed to bite down a smile. There must be thrill in succeeding to seduce a novice.

The next verse was similar to the first one. Then came the chorus again, twice, but it was the bridge that struck you, putting an end to the fun you were having. Jungkook watched your reaction closely, as he had during the whole song.

No, I wouldn't change a thing even if I could 'Cause I chose a path and I'm not looking back And I'm sorry if I left the angels crying over me

The chorus was sung twice more but the music muffled into the back of your mind, the bridge’s words lingering in the foreground. Would you be able to choose a path that resulted in your angels weeping? How could you? And how could Jungkook portray you as remorseless over it, when the matter was eating away at you inside?

The show was over before you knew it, and the audience slowly exited the venue while the band got out of their rockstars outfits and makeup backstage. About fifteen minutes later, they came into the area you were sat in and Jungkook bumped fists with the friends who’d come to see him in a rush, so as to not keep you waiting any longer.

Checking out your collared shirt and ankle-length skirt while approaching, he whistled. “Gee, Y/N, I can’t handle myself when you dress so sexy.”

“Because a novice’s habit is so much better.”

“There’s an appeal to it. Makes a man want to tempt you.” Earning a smile from him, you rolled your eyes. “Thoughts on the song. Shoot.”

You pouted. “Full of blasphemies. Are you supposed to be the rock god?”

“Who else?” Jungkook asked surprised. How did that escape you?

“Then why do I say ‘sound of his drum’? You’re a guitar player. Are you trying to set me up with your bandmate?”

“‘Guitar’ doesn’t rhyme with ‘god’,” he said matter-of-factly, it hitting him in the pause that followed. You laughed. “Well, yeah, neither does ‘drum’… but it does a bit more, right?”

“A bit more, yes. So, are you and Amber dating?”

Jungkook smirked. “Jealous much?”

“If you are,” you ignored his question, “she might not be too happy her boyfriend’s writing songs to other girls.”

“She has a boyfriend,” he cleared up, lifting a weight off your chest. “We’re just friends, what we do onstage is part of the show. Don’t worry, you don’t have to fight anyone to keep me.”

“What a relief,” you joked, taking a deep breath before continuing. “Listen, I’m gonna get going, it’s late and you said you were getting some drinks with Bangtan, so I’ll leave you to it. I had fun tonight, you did great.”

“I can drive you to the convent,” he offered, but you shook your head, picking the plastic bag up from the table.

“It’s alright, Sisters Joan and Theresa are still at their stall in the street market. I’ll go back with them.”

“Swell…” he said under his breath, hoping you couldn’t tell he’d wanted to say ‘bummer’ instead.

You didn’t see each other until the next night, when you broke the curfew yet again to hang out in the kitchen. Sat on the table, the two of you discussed your dilemma while sipping at the awful tea Jungkook had made. There weren’t many ways to fuck up tea, but he’d still managed it, holding the old kettle responsible.

All had begun with him pointing out you’d paled towards the end of Rock God and you telling him the lyrics had moved you because you’d chosen to finish your novitiate. There was no way, therefore, you could sell your soul to the rhythm, the beat, and the bass.

“I know I said I wouldn’t tell you what to do, but–”

“You did.”

“But hear me out. Now that we’re friends, I can’t just watch you make a decision I know you already regret.”

“I’d regret leaving too, at least this is the selfless choice.”

“Well, aren’t you a good person!” Jungkook’s mocking made you sigh and sip on your tea like it were alcohol. It did taste as bad. “Y/N, you need to live for yourself, not for two fuddy-duddies who couldn’t put their daughter’s happiness before theirs.”

“Don’t be mean to them.”

Jungkook only bit his tongue because of your pleading tone. “Sorry… Even if you loved your parents, you can’t deny they put you in a tough spot. I’m sure wherever they are, they’ve realised they were wrong and want you to be happy however you choose.”

“The thing is, they were convinced I’d be happy as a nun, that I just wanted to switch to secular on a whim. That’s why they ordered me to stay, they were looking out for me.” Jungkook almost grimaced at the word ‘ordered’, fought against commenting how messed up was the fact that you were using it in this context. Staring at the almost empty mug on your lap, you wondered whether it was insensitive of you to speak your mind. “It’s also what’s happened to you that I couldn’t bear happening to me, even if my parents are gone. I don’t want to do anything that would make them spurn me. I don’t want them not to love me,” your voice broke despite your best efforts.

Jungkook immediately stole the mug from your fingers and put it next to his on the table, so he could hold your hands. “Listen to me, my parents are assholes. Like, genuine bad people who shouldn’t’ve been allowed to have a kid. I won’t tell you the things they’ve said and done to me because you’d cry, but they are a different breed. Normal parents love their children no matter what. Why do you think yours would spurn you if they were still alive, instead of realising that they were making you unhappy?”

Good point, actually. If only it wasn’t far more complicated than that…

The second Jungkook withdrew his hands, you missed their warmth, even though it was a hot summer night. He sipped at his tea, and you suspected he only mmm-ed with delight to make you laugh, given he bloody well knew its taste was disgusting. Idiot.

“Just promise me one thing,” he added, a smirk tugging at his lips. “If you quit being a novice, go out on a date with me.”

Now, that made you laugh. “A date?”

Jungkook nodded, anchoring his foot to one of the legs of your chair so he could drag it close to his and rest his arm on its top rail, the proximity such that you could feel his breathing against your cheek. Heart racing, you crossed your arms and tried your hardest to appear unbothered. “I’ll pick you up at five and we’ll go roller-skating until we can’t feel our legs, then we’ll have dinner in my van while we watch a drive-in movie– A scary one, so you cling onto me for safety. Then I’ll drive you home, walk you to your door, and you’ll go ‘Oh! It’s too late, why don’t you stay over?’. So we’ll have some drinks, and you’ll take my hand to lead me into your bedroom, and then…”

“And then we’ll say our prayers and go to sleep.”

“To sleep, yes,” Jungkook chuckled, “afterwards.”

“I don’t know what makes you think I wouldn’t live almost like a nun if I left here. I am, in fact, a Catholic.”

“A relaxed one, I dare say. Oh, come on. You’ve never thought about breaking your faith’s rules? Not even to have fun?” He raised his eyebrows, waiting for a confession, but you shook your head.

“I can have fun without breaking the rules, I always have.”

Jungkook nibbled at his lip for a while, mentally debating with himself. Whichever of the voices in his head won, it made him say, “What if I showed you my ways? Would you be up for that?”

“Up for what, exactly?”

“You’ll see.”

Due to the series of communal prayers scattered throughout the day called Liturgy of Hours, it was as early as five that the whole convent got up. You’d usually go straight back to bed after the first one and get what more rest you could until it was time for class or work, but today, despite it being Sunday, a few sisters had volunteered to go to the farm and help around, you and Jungkook joining them to nanny the goats.

You didn’t mind getting your habit dirty there, but it was being an awfully hot July, which was the reason why you were wearing lighter clothes that morning when walking into the chapel alongside Jungkook to attend Mass. He was an atheist whom you supposed only went to these things to spend more time with you, and that warmed your heart.

Ever since you’d started hanging out, the same less devout sisters who’d previously flocked around him had gone back to the handsome abbot’s orbit, so the nearer pews to the altar had quickly been taken. Together, you sat alone at the back, the pew all to yourselves. Three quite tall sisters were sat in the one in front of you and acted as a barrier Father Jimin hid behind of, but as long as you heard him, it didn’t matter.

Your mind went elsewhere no more than a couple of minutes into the service anyway. Tuning out seemed to be easy as of late.

It was just so unfair, all of it. You could be learning in university, meeting new people, living a normal life where you wouldn’t need to ask an abbot for permission to go out if you fancied taking a fucking walk! It didn’t have to mean you’d stop practising your religion or let yourself fall into sin at all, nothing had to change in that regard. You took a deep breath charged with frustration. If only your parents hadn’t decided to take the car in the middle of a storm and you’d had more time to make them see reason… Why did they have to die? Why did God have to take them and leave you alone?

Right in the middle of your brooding was when Jungkook put his hand on your bare knee and asked in a whisper, “Hey, are you okay?”

You forced a smile that he didn’t seem convinced by, so his hand remained on the same spot after he’d gone back to paying attention to Mass. His touch didn’t make you uncomfortable, you welcomed it and the comfort it provided, but your jaw did drop when it slowly travelled down your inner thigh, towards your intimate area.

“What are you doing?” you mouthed, petrified at the possibility of anyone noticing. Luckily, the only person facing the pews was Father Jimin, who couldn’t see a thing from the altar thanks to your barrier-sisters.

“Showing you my idea of fun,” Jungkook leaned in to whisper, lips brushing against your earlobe. It wasn’t that what made you gulp, though, but the fact that he reached your clit and rubbed it softly over your linen shorts, up and down, side to side… The unexpected pleasure made your breath hitch in your throat, gaze flying around the chapel at the speed of light. “No one’s watching,” Jungkook reassured you. “Live a little, Y/N.” Feeling his middle finger now press your clit firmly and at an increasing pace, you looked at him, shocked there was no sign of shame on his features, eyes half-lidded with arousal as they studied your worried ones. “Tell me to stop and I will.”

Stop? You were still registering something had started there, in a sacred place, during Mass! What you were letting Jungkook do to you was all kinds of sinful, but… it felt so good you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything. Sobering up, he ceased his actions at that lack of consent, and was going to withdraw his hand and apologise had you not grabbed it and kept it in place down there, much to the surprise of both.

Relief showed on Jungkook in the form of an exhale. He wasted no time, then, sliding his hand inside your shorts and underwear, making you bite down on your lip when he found your clit once more and rubbed it in circles. He lingered there just enough to make your core pulsate with ache when he abandoned it to move on to your wet slit, something you had to slouch for him to do. He eased two fingers inside you that he began pumping in and out with a mastery that got you squirming in your seat, hand glued to your mouth to hold back the moans that threatened to escape it and gaze locked on the tattooed sleeve that disappeared inside your shorts.

That was when everyone started singing a hymn. Jungkook took the chance to quicken his movements, the sounds of your irregular breathing and his fingers sliding into your juices eclipsed by the song. He licked his lips, coating them with saliva before leaving chaste kisses on your neck, knowing if his tongue met it he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from fucking you right there and then. When he pulled back, he noticed you’d closed your eyes to get lost in the pleasure, and that they opened only when you felt his breath near your parted lips, to stare down at his. So close, yet he restrained the urge to kiss you, intent on watching you come.

He didn’t have to wait long, your walls now clenching around his fingers every time he rubbed that magical spot, thighs shaking as a result. All the tension built up inside of you suddenly released, and you dissolved into a daze just in time for the ending of the hymn. Not to overstimulate you, Jungkook gently removed his fingers and slipped out of the chapel. He returned a minute later with his hand washed and dry, and although you readily intertwined fingers with his when he reached out, you dared not meet his eyes after what had just happened.

That night you lay awake tossing and turning forever, unable to forget the feel of his touch.

Inexplicably, you weren’t ashamed of all the sins you’d added to the collection that day: falling into the temptation of lust, doing pre-marital sexual acts that didn’t lead to procreation, breaching your vow of chastity, desecrating a holy place, taking the sacrament while in mortal sin… Somehow, you just weren’t. You were, right after, but now it was as though you’d managed to sweep all the guilt related to it under the rug. As for the one related to your parents, well, Jungkook had been the sweetest distraction from it.

A distraction you craved again.

You must have been held sway by a demon when you got up from bed to go find Jungkook, but you were in no hurry to free yourself from its grasp.

Except for the first night, he tended to be the sleepless one who wandered about the abbey until you eventually joined him, so you knew he’d be awake. Indeed, he was on the phone in the community room, getting tangled up in the cord as he paced around, nervous. He couldn’t see you lurking in the hallway’s shadows, so you decided to let curiosity get the better of you and eavesdrop the conversation he was having.

“No, you’re not following,” he whispered into the phone. “My cousin’s friend’s brother is into this hot religious girl, and I– he! sort of fingered her in public… In a church… No, there were people present, it was in the middle of Mass… Nobody, that I’m– that he’s aware… No, Hoseok, it’s not dope! He’s going up and down the walls like a fucking yoyo... He isn’t so sure it was a good idea, fears he might’ve crossed a line… Well, he hasn’t seen her since, I think she’s been avoiding him– Agh, he thinks!... Fuck yeah, she did, and he loved it too… The problem is that I don’t want her to regret it and feel bad about it just because it wasn’t the time or place, or to never want to have sex because I got her into it the wrong way… What? He, I said he… You’re right,” he sighed, putting an end to his pacing. “I’ll tell him. Thank you, bro... ‘Night.”

Arms crossed, you couldn’t help but smile fondly. He was that worried about it? You should’ve known, you were friends after all. That was all he probably wanted to be, at least. Friends. With benefits, but friends. Who would want to be more than that not only with a novice, but with one as troubled as you?

A noise made you look up. It was Jungkook, now by the window, flicking his lighter over and over to pass the time. Your eyes inspected his fingers under the moonlight, the same ones he’d buried inside you that morning, and the longing that had got you out of bed returned to move your feet in his direction. You must’ve been abrupt while approaching him, though, as he jolted with a gasp at the sight of you.

“Sorry.”

“Y/N…” he said as he caught his breath from the startle. He had hoped you’d show up, but not so suddenly. Payback, he thought, for the way we met. “Listen, about earlier–”

You cut his sentence short with a kiss. It was soft at first, as timid as you felt, but Jungkook soon got over the shock that had frozen him and took charge of the matter, pulling you in a tight embrace. His tongue entered your mouth and swirled around yours like it was always meant to, or at least that’s what you wanted to believe. How else could it feel so good, and Jungkook so addictive?

It was a challenge, but you found the strength to step back and whisper so lowly that he almost didn’t hear, “I want you.”

“Are you sure?” Jungkook cupped your face with both hands, forcing you to look into his eyes. No need for that, they already had you enthralled, dark with the desire you’d infected him with.  

“Yes,” you exhaled, taking his hands in yours to lead him upstairs. “With you, yes.”

Once in your cell, you lost your pyjamas in a matter of seconds, both too impatient to feel each other.

Being naked and seeing Jungkook so was initially nerve-racking but once you were under the sheets, under his toned body, your bashfulness flew out the window. Especially when you saw his dick, already hard from just making out—you figured he’d been charged up since the morning. Yet his priority wasn’t his own pleasure, but yours, not an inch of your skin left untouched by his lips as he slowly travelled downwards. Until you started giggling out of nowhere, and Jungkook raised his head from in between your boobs to look at you in confusion.

“Your Barbie hair is tickling me,” you teased him as you tucked behind his ears the blond cascade that covered his face and grazed over your chest whenever he moved.

“Barbie, huh?” Jungkook whispered next to your ear only to lay a warm kiss right under it, all while he positioned himself in between your legs. “Do you want me to tickle you somewhere else?”

“Actually, I…” How did one say such a thing? “I want to tickle you, but I don’t know what to do.”

He chuckled, “My pleasure to instruct you.”

You did as he said and reclined next to him, upside down so he could touch you—he’d insisted—while you sucked him off. It did feel strange to take him in your mouth and run your tongue along the length of his shaft, at least until you heard his breathing speed up, resisting to buck his hips into your face as he was. Your cunt throbbed, and you wished Jungkook’s cock was inside it instead of your mouth. He seemed to sense that, so his hand soon crept between your thighs to remedy your ails, a whine escaping you then.

“You’re just as tight as earlier, fuck,” he groaned from the pillow as his fingers struggled to curl and uncurl inside of you, given you couldn’t keep still. It made you all the more eager to pleasure him, taking him as deep as you could so he saw the same stars you were beginning to see yourself. “You’re doing so well… That’s it, suck it harder, darling, ah… Wait, stop, stop!”

Immediately, you backed off. “Did I do something wrong?”

Jungkook sat up and used his thumb to wipe the drooling trail of saliva on your chin. “You were doing too well, miss.” Ogling your body, he licked his thumb. “Why don’t you come over here?” You nodded, would’ve agreed to do anything he asked in that moment.

He lay down again while holding your hands to guide you over to his lap, over his erection, but your sudden nerves made you shy away. Nevertheless, Jungkook pulled you closer with a smirk. “Where are you running off to?”

“I’m sorry, just… Will it hurt?”

He sat up to peck your lips cutely, “Oh, it will be excruciatingly painful,” and you pushed his chest with an eye-roll, so he returned to his previous position. He grabbed the condom he’d stopped by his cell to get before following you to yours and put it on.

A deep breath later, you grabbed his cock and placed its tip in your wet entrance, looking down at it to make sure you were doing it right. Hands between his head and the pillow, Jungkook watched patiently, turned on by your inexperience and the fact that he and he alone got to be the one to pop your cherry, make you break your vow of chastity. He thought it’d take you a while to get used to the size of his dick, but you surprised him by rolling your hips almost aggressively the second you sat on it, chasing pleasure as though it would escape from your grasp otherwise.

“Shit, yes, like that.” All flushed under you and with his eyes barely open, feeling the way you moved with all his senses, Jungkook ignited a lust in you that even an angel would be willing to fall from grace for.

“Oh my God, it feels so good…”

“I know, baby.” He wanted to dig his nails into your hips and move them back and forth himself but found that for a virgin, you were already doing a superb job, laughed instead. “Look at you, fuck. What a dirty bitch, you’re loving it.”

“I am…” you panted, his name-calling sending you over the edge. “Jesus, I am.”

It wasn’t long until Jungkook felt your walls clench tight around him, something he didn’t blame you for as he himself was close too. His cock had been burning in his pants ever since Mass, even after he’d jerked himself off in his cell when the service had finished and you’d vanished. Grabbing your wrist, he pulled you close to his mouth and kissed you hungrily, but even then, you refused to stop moving, felt too good. “Gonna come already? You like me that bad?”

I like you a lot. You were having a tough time not moaning, especially when he talked. His deep voice did all manner of things to you. “I’m so close, ah...”

“Why don’t I help you out with that, hm?”

He didn’t wait for an answer before bending his knees and repeatedly thrusting into you with such force that it had you gasping for air. If you’d known he could fuck you like that, you’d have asked him to be on top at the beginning. Eyes squeezed shut, you buried your head in the crook of his neck to moan against it as you came, finally letting go. Jungkook bit into your shoulder, not to hurt you, just hard enough to keep himself from grunting loudly as he found his own release after a few more thrusts, but your bodies remained locked until your heartbeats slowed down.

It didn’t hit you how loud your panting had been until your breath toned down and there was silence in the room. You prayed it hadn’t woken anybody up.

At some point, you got off Jungkook for him to remove his condom and go throw it in the bin next to your desk. You covered your naked body with the sheets, expecting to next see him get dressed, but he lay back on the bed. You didn’t understand.

“Aren’t you leaving?”

He scoffed. “Kicking me out, ouch. Why would I leave?”

“I thought… that’s what guys do.” At least, that was what your non-virgin sisters had told you. That men lost interest in a woman as soon as they’d had their way with her.

Jungkook shook his head as he said softly, “I’m not going anywhere.” Having sex surely messed with one’s head, there was no other explanation as to why you blushed like a teenager. The two of you got on your side, facing each other, and Jungkook started caressing your arm with the back of his fingers, the simple action so soothing you thought you’d fall asleep. “Is this nice?”

“Very,” you replied, eyes closing against your will.

“Did I go too far earlier?”

You were taken aback by the sudden question. “Maybe, but I liked it. You were right about breaking the rules. Looking back… I think it was what you said about living a little that got to me. Here at the convent, I don’t really feel alive, but I do when we’re this close.”

“See?” Jungkook asked gently, trying to make you see his point. “What’s stopping you from quitting, then? Nothing should cost you feeling alive.”

“Apart from my parents?” you sighed. “Look around. As a novice, I couldn’t receive their inheritance. Vow of poverty, remember? What you see in this cell is everything I own.” Jungkook had already noticed on his way in your lack of personal belongings. A cross hung over the bed, a small pile of religious books on the desk, a framed photo of you with your family, and little more. It was so empty and cold that anyone would’ve thought you’d just moved in. “I can’t afford to go to university, much less live on my own.”

“Well… I’ve been saving up for a while and I’m moving in an apartment with Hoseok and Tae when summer’s over. Why don’t you come stay with us? I’m sure they won’t mind!” he said enthusiastically, eyes sparkling like he’d come up with the solution to all your problems. “I’ll help you find a job and you’ll be able to afford uni, easy-peasy.”

You were too sleepy to chuckle, but a faint smile did tug at your lips because of how determined he was to fix things. Things that were too broken to be fixed. “Let’s not talk about this right now, please?”

Even though Jungkook wasn’t pleased with your response, he forced a smile. “Why, did I tire you out?” Leaning in, he kissed your lips lightly. “You’re right, let’s not ruin the moment. Come here.”

He had you rest your head on his chest, and held lovingly, you fell asleep.

Understandably, he’d left by the time you woke up. If anyone saw him coming out of your cell, they might work out what he’d been up to there and the two of you would be kicked out of the convent. His scent lingered in your sheets, but it didn’t make any less disappointing waking up without him by your side. What’s more, as you put on your habit after having a quick shower, you were assailed by the most heart-breaking questions.

What if Jungkook had pretended to be your friend only to get in your pants? What if, now he’d got what he wanted, he blew you off? What if you’d risked everything for a guy who felt nothing for you?

To your immense relief, when you walked into the refectory for breakfast, he waved at you with a smile and gestured you to sit next to him. You were going to before Father Jimin suddenly appeared before you.

“Good morning, Y/N,” he greeted warmly, as ever.

“Oh, good morning, Father!”

“I wanted to make sure everything’s okay.”

You blinked. “It is, why?”

Shit. He knows?

“You left the chapel in a hurry after Mass yesterday,” he said, “and you didn’t show up to the remaining services. Were you unwell?”

“Oh... Yes, I was.” If you had locked yourself up in your cell, it was for no other reason than to avoid Jungkook and digest the fact that he’d fingered you in public. You lied, “I was sick all day, but I’m fine now.”

“I’m glad,” Jimin said with a smile you returned, then grabbed your hand to surround it with both of his, like old people will. “I know this comes out of nowhere, but I’m really proud of you, Y/N. For pulling through these challenging times. Many, including myself, can only learn from your strength. I know you’ll make a great nun.”

He gave your hand a soft squeeze and left you there, frozen in your spot. It was as though your sins finally dawned on you, all of them at once. You’d really believed leaving the convent didn’t have to mean you’d betray your faith and here you were, sleeping with a guy you’d met barely a month ago without shame because that made you feel alive.

What had you done? What were you turning into?

No longer hungry, you left to go back to your cell, tears already streaming down your cheeks before you made it out of the empty hallways. Or were they empty?

“Y/N!” You ignored Jungkook’s voice and quickened your pace, too ashamed to face him. “Hey, wait up!” He sprinted to reach you, concern shaping his features when he blocked your way and realised you were crying and trying to hide it from him. One thing was telling him your troubles, another to break down like a pathetic, helpless little girl. In the most caring tone, he asked, “Hey, what’s wrong?”

You explained, told him how you felt.

“I’m letting Father Jimin down,” you sobbed. “Him, my parents, God, and everyone.”

“You’re not,” Jungkook kept repeating. “You’re in a period of discernment, right? So who says you can’t reach a conclusion by trial and error? That’s what other nuns have done too. Before they got here, yes, but it was doing things they later regretted that convinced them to become nuns.”

“I don’t regret last night,” you said in all honesty, “but I do hate that I don’t regret sinning... You just can’t understand, you’re not religious.”

Jungkook looked down. “Maybe I can’t, but if I know something it’s that if what we did made you happy, it shouldn’t be a sin.” He looked around to make sure no one else was there before cupping your wet cheeks and kissing you, every muscle in your body relaxing under his touch as he knew they would. “Now come with me and eat something.”

He didn’t fully convince you, but your will wasn’t strong enough to resist his tempting.

For the next three weeks, you continued sleeping together at night, pretending you were no more than close friends at day. Whatever the time, Jungkook made sure to spend as much of it as possible with you, although not for a moment did you ever let yourself believe he had any feelings for you other than sexual. You weren’t even sure you wanted him to develop them, truth be told, as this thing you had was a fling. Come the end of summer less than a month from now, he’d move out and you’d start the second and final year of your novitiate, so whatever it was between you had no future.

Still, he kept writing you songs.

Some he’d sing quietly in bed so you’d fall asleep listening to his angelic voice, but the latest one, Church, he’d also asked you to come see him perform in a concert. And so, you’d lied to Father Jimin again, claiming the ancient kettle in the kitchen was broken and a new one needed to be bought. What’s a sin more to secure your one-way ticket to Hell?

Jungkook had warned you this song was not PG-13. He’d be the one singing it, not Amber, and he’d begged and begged you to wear one of his huge t-shirts to the concert with nothing underneath, refusing to tell you why. Leaving the abbey dressed as modestly as was expected of a novice, you changed outfits in the venue’s toilets. You didn’t know why you’d agreed to it but the first line of Church explained his request.

You're wearing nothing but my t-shirt Call me shallow but I'm only getting deeper, yeah Stay on the ground until your knees hurt No more praying, baby, I'ma be your preacher

He half whispered the whole verse into the microphone, all while his eyes pierced yours from the stage. You couldn’t look away either, entranced by his voice and presence. So far from where you were sat, how could he make you feel as though the air had run out in the whole venue?

And I'll keep leading you on If you keep leading me into your room The drinks are all gone But that's fine, baby, so am I

You remembered the date Jungkook had talked about taking you out on and how… standard it now sounded to you as he turned his attention to the girls who cheered for him in the audience. Was it scripted? Something he said to all of them to lead them on? The more you thought about it, the more you realised he’d never actually take you skating. No, you were just for keeping his nights busy.

His gaze found you again.

I'm about to take you back to church (back to church) Well, tell me your confessions, baby, what's the worst? Yeah Baptise in your thighs 'til it hurts (you know it hurts) 'Cause I'm about to take you back to church (oh yeah)

I'll keep you up until the sunset Speaking in tongues, yeah, we ain't done yet (yeah) Don't take my verses out of context I know it's weighing on your conscience

Those last two lines… Further confirmation your relationship was just sex and that you shouldn’t read too much into anything he said, or feel guilty for sinning by having a friend-with-benefits. It was self-contradictory of you to feel down about him not reciprocating your feelings, but you did. Don’t they say love is irrational?

Despite how sad you’d got, the night didn’t end with the concert, but with Jungkook fucking you without restrain. When he was inside you, nothing else mattered.

You were in the back of his van, parked somewhere near the abbey yet not enough for anyone to hear the loud moans that each of his thrusts caused, even with the windows open not to melt in there.

“Fuck, keep moaning for me,” he grunted, gripping your waist to keep you in place.

“Keep fucking me, then…” Jungkook scoffed, would’ve commented on how dirty he’d turned you had he not been so close. You’d come already yourself, but were more than glad to let him go on until he did too.

“Since you’ve got such a big mouth,” he said, panting, “why don’t you put it to good use?”

It took him most of his willpower to pull out and remove his condom. You sat up and opened your mouth for him to shove his hard cock in, swirling your tongue around the tip before closing your lips tight around it and starting to bob your head to take all of him. A bit more experienced now and having learned to love sucking Jungkook, you knew exactly how he liked it done. You could feel it, his cock twitching against your tongue as you savoured it, letting you know he was going to come.

He pulled back again to jerk himself, and you began rubbing your clit, aroused again by the sight between your spread legs. “I thought you were done?”

“Yes, but you’re so hot…” you moaned, and he huffed out a laugh. Biting his lip harshly as he ogled your naked body and the way you touched yourself, it wasn’t long until he came all over your thighs, your own release following.

Jungkook smirked when he was no longer out of breath. “Dreams do come true.” He was staring at your thighs dripping with his cum and your own juices, and you realised he was talking about Church’s ‘baptise in your thighs’. You were about to smile when the rest of the song came to mind, and suddenly you didn’t feel like it anymore… Once Jungkook had cleaned you up with a cloth, he lay down next to you. “Come here.”

You always hoped he’d say that, even though he never failed to. So resting your back on his chest, he held you from behind, caressing your hands in a comfortable silence. It was then that you noticed the blank spot between the tattoos in Jungkook’s wrist. It was tiny, but seemed intentional.

“Are you not inking this bit?”

“I’m saving it for a small symbol, maybe a letter.” He kissed your temple. “Your name’s initial, what do you say?”

Your lips committed to it before your brain did. “Do you get tattoos of the others?”

Jungkook frowned. You couldn’t see him, but you knew he did. “What others?”

“The other girls you sleep with.” There was no jealousy in your casual tone, but it was still petty. Jungkook shifted so he could face you. He was indeed frowning, both perplexed and offended.

“There are no others,” he promised, serious as you’d ever seen him. “You trust me that little?”

“I didn’t think I had to trust you. Aren’t we just hooking up?”

Jungkook rubbed his eyes as if the confusion was giving him a headache. “You thought I was sleeping with other girls and said nothing?”

By what right could you ask him to be faithful in a relationship you planned to end soon? Besides, what if in doing so, you annoyed him enough to stop wanting to be friends? If sharing him with others was the only way to have him, it hurt, but you’d do it. You looked down as you whispered, kind of embarrassed, “I guess I do like you that much…”

Jungkook raised your chin with his curled index finger, made you look at him. He despised the sadness he saw in the depths of your eyes, the one you were trying to repress. “You’re much more than sex to me. I worship you and if I could, I’d spend every waking moment next to you.”

In a small pause, you tried to rack your brain. “Is that from a song?”

“No, but it should be. I’ll write it down later.” Jungkook nodded, agreeing the rhyme had potential. Still, he wasn’t going to let you change the subject. “Y/N, I’m in love with you.”

He is?  That did take you off guard.

“You shouldn’t be, I’m a novice,” you said anyway at your most hypocritical.

Jungkook sighed, “What’s so wrong about it? Don’t you love me?”

You didn’t want to lie to him. A smile made your lips stretch before you answered, “I do,” and softly, Jungkook kissed them. Every time he pulled back from a kiss, it felt like it had been too short, no matter how long it lasted. Like you needed more because you could never be sated of him. “Does this mean… we’re dating?”

“I mean, you’re technically engaged to Jesus, and I’m not a guy who likes sharing,” Jungkook joked before giving you a peck and returning to his previous position under you. “If you don’t wanna be just lovers, you’ll have to break up with him first.”

You answered nothing. Should you listen to him, though?

Around two weeks of bliss sprang from your love confessions, where it became hard to pretend you weren’t mad for each other in public, such as when he’d whisper in your ear how provocative you looked in your habit and you giggled like a schoolgirl in love—which, technically, you were. Your parents barely made it into your thoughts, as they were filled to the brim with Jungkook.

From the moment they were over, it all went downhill. Worse, it fell into an abyss.

You had just come out of class with other novices when your hand was grabbed by someone who dragged you through the hallway to head upstairs. “Sorry to steal her, sisters, it’s urgent!”

“Jungkook, what are you doing?” you asked as he led you into your cell in a rush, closing the door for privacy. “You can’t be in here during the day–”

“I’ve found a way.” Only then did you notice how excited he was, a grin across his face. “A way to pay for your university.”

His aunt had been the one to tell him, at the beginning of the summer, that he must plan ahead as an adult now that his parents had turned their back on him, but it wasn’t until he fell for you that he actually started doing that. He was sure he wanted you to be by his side on whatever path he took, for his future to merge with yours somehow.

You, however, knew this conversation would not end well. “Enlighten me.”

“Bangtan is going on a nationwide tour next year.”

“Oh my God, that’s great!” You held his hands and grinned with him. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Y/N, this means I’ll earn a lot of money.” Then, you looked away. “With what I’ve got saved up plus that, you can afford to go to uni, even a private one, and we don’t have to live with the boys, we can have a place of our own! On the road we won’t even have to sweat about that, our company will pay for everyth–”

You freed your hands from his grasp, said with a nervous laugh, “You’re going a bit fast, Jungkook…”

His grin faded. “What do you mean? Isn’t money what you need to get out of here?”

“I’m grateful you want to take care of me but I can’t leave, you know why.”

“Are you serious right now?” Jungkook couldn’t believe it. “Y/N, your parents are gone. I know it’s hard but you have to move on, I don’t want you to wither in this place when you have a chance at happiness.”

“Just because you chose to let your parents down doesn’t mean the rest of us want to.” You regretted those words as soon as they left your mouth, the sound of Jungkook’s heart breaking reaching your ears. Or was it your own?

It took him some long seconds to process you’d said that, then answer, “I told you how they were to me, forgive me for not giving a shit about them.”

“Well, mine are a different story. I do care about them.”

“And not about us? We can’t be together anymore after I leave the convent. Have you not thought about that, or were you going to end things like they meant nothing? Because for weeks, I’ve been trying to find a way to have a future with you.”

“I never asked you to,” you sighed, welling up. You might not have, but a part of you had wanted to. Wanted to go with him too. “There’s no way we can have a future together.”

Jungkook teared up as well, and you hated yourself for it. He was being met with unjust meanness from the person he genuinely loved. You sucked so bad.

“What am I to you, then? What have I been these past months?”

“A distraction.”

It wasn’t a lie, and that’s what hurt the most. You loved Jungkook, and yet, you’d used him to set aside the pain of your parents’ loss and the guilt that was consuming you for being a sinner. You were always going to dispose of him like a toy outgrown, regardless of everything he’d done for you.

He stared for a while, but you couldn’t meet his eyes out of shame. “That’s good to know,” he muttered before storming out, leaving you in a puddle of tears you deserved to be drowned in.

You trudged your way to class after a grey morning in the library. There was still no passage from any religious book that excused your countless sins and promised the salvation of your blighted soul, but that didn’t worry you so much right now. What did, was Jungkook.

He was likely avoiding you—for which you couldn’t blame him—though you doubted meeting and apologising for the ugly things you’d said would be a remedy to the damage done. Not that you didn’t mean them, but they could’ve been said with tact. Jungkook’s wicked crime was loving you, after all.

So busy were you missing something as random as his cologne that you didn’t notice until the end of the class that everyone kept stealing glances at you, whispering to each other afterwards. Even if a tired demeanour wasn’t deserving of such a disproportionate reaction, you still blamed the barely two hours of sleep you’d got for your sisters’ scandalised looks, but another novice approached you in the hallway out of pity to let you know you’d actually made the convent’s news.

You froze in your spot when she said it was because Jungkook had spread the rumour that you’d been sleeping with him.

No, please... Tell me he hasn’t.

Leaving your sister where she stood and running off to find him with the disapproving gaze of every other person you passed burning into your skin, you prayed you were inside a nightmare harder with each stride.

Jungkook couldn’t have betrayed you. Someone must have seen or heard you and put two and two together, right?

Such theory turned into dust when you saw him sat in the cloister surrounded by girls like the day you’d met, playing a melody in the guitar for their attentive ears. Somehow, you knew he’d done it then, and on purpose. You started to feel sick as you approached them, whether because of the summer heat or the knife stabbed and twisted in your back, you didn’t know.

“We need to talk.”

Jungkook didn’t bother to look up as he said, “If we were still dating, I’d totally be shaking at that sentence, Y/N.”

Some of your sisters giggled, others bit their lip not to. You went red, begged, “Please.”

Albeit reluctantly, he stood up and followed you to an empty hallway. You didn’t know whether you were more upset, scared, surprised, or disappointed, but the smell of the cologne you were missing earlier managed to calm you down a little, as Jungkook’s company tended to do. Your stupid body seemed to not have caught up on the fact that he was the cause of your hurting.

“What do you want?” he asked curtly.

“What do I want? To know how you could tell everyone about us, Jungkook, how you could do this to me. I’ll be expelled! And I don’t have parents or a family that will take me back if I go apologise to them, I have nowhere to go. Is that what you want? For me to be with you because I have no other choice?”

“Of course not, we’re done,” Jungkook assured you that wasn’t his plan, which you believed. He hated your guts, his dark eyes told you. “But now you’re not tied to a place you don’t really want to be in.”

“Oh, don’t pretend you didn’t do this out of revenge.”

“So what if I did?”

You stared at him for a while, speechless like he had the time you’d last met. “And here I thought you’d proved me wrong.”

“In what,” Jungkook asked in a scoff, “becoming a nun now that you’ve been dicked down?”

The coldness of his tone stung your heart. In disbelief, you shook your head. “No, in that there was more to you than what first meets the eye.”

A grain of shock broke through the mask of indifference Jungkook was wearing, probably because your words weren’t visibly said against your better judgement this time, but while seeing him through the same lenses as his parents did. You looked at him just like them the night they’d kicked him out, in a way he had hoped you never would.

And how could you not? You’d thought you knew him, yet he’d gone ahead and ruined your life. Maybe you never did know the real Jungkook at all, who was now too taken aback to come up with an answer before another novice approached.

“Father Jimin wants to see you, sister,” she said, after which you took a deep breath, nodded, and followed her without so much as giving Jungkook one last glance.

In his office, sat on his desk, Father Jimin was quiet. Had been so since you’d come in and sat down.

One of his elbows rested on his chair’s arm and two fingers pressed on his closed lips as he thought of what to say. You already had an idea of what it would be, and it made you no more ready, fists clutching the skirt of your lap.

“I don’t know what to say,” he finally confessed in a sigh. It struck you how it was the first time in the few years you’d known Father Jimin that you didn’t see a smile on his face, or at least friendliness. He was the kind of person who always saw the best in people but right now, there was nothing good left in you. “I’m truly at a loss for words. I never thought you’d do something like this, or that I’d find out from other mouths.”

Tears blurred your sight at the memory of him telling you he was proud of you. “I know I have no right to ask for forgiveness, but I’m begging you, Father. It was the mistake of my life–”

“You broke your vows, Y/N. Defiled a holy place.” Oh… Jungkook had admitted to that as well? Chin trembling, you pressed your lips together not to cry. “Lied to me about it and God knows what else… This behaviour cannot be tolerated. You can stay in the abbey until you find a job and a place to live, but you are dismissed from this community, if not excommunicated.”

You sobbed, unable to hold it in anymore, “Father, please. I can’t let my parents down, their last wish was that I become a nun–”

“Isn’t it your wish? Were you lying about that too?” Your head lowered in shame and Father Jimin leaned back into his chair with a loud sigh. “You should have thought about your parents before getting involved with Jungkook. Be grateful they aren’t here to see you stray this bad.” He waited for you to say something, but shame kept you from it, as he was right. “You may leave now.”

Everything had happened so fast that a week later, you were still assimilating it.

Except when necessary, you barely left your cell. Dreaded both the judgemental looks of your sisters and the non-existent ones from Father Jimin, who ignored your presence whenever he had to suffer it in the chapel or the refectory. Not to mention running into Jungkook. To your knowledge, he’d been kicked out too, was sometimes seen moving boxes from his cell to his van. There wasn’t much for him to pack, so you guessed he was dragging the process. What for, you tried not to care.

That was the main reason why, helped by the yellow pages, you’d been job-hunting through the telephone. Not that it was better or worse than going in person, because nobody wanted to employ an ex-novice anyway. They literally hung up when you mentioned you’d been expelled from the convent—as expected, to be honest—but lying again was not an option. You’d learned your lesson the hard way.

Eventually, you did manage to land an interview for a job. Given it didn’t pay that well, it’d be a while until you could afford to move out of the abbey and even longer until you’d step in a university as a student, which was frustrating, but at least you didn’t need anyone’s permission to leave. Since you weren’t a novice anymore, nobody batted an eyelid at you heading outside the afternoon of your scheduled interview.

You were near the main door when, out of nowhere, Sister Daeun stopped you to talk.

“My nephew’s told me everything. I can’t say I approve of your relationship, but it does make me feel better that there was love involved. A lot, apparently,” your gaze averted to the ground, “which makes your decision to break up with him out of respect for your parents all the more admirable. It was wrong of Jungkook to make it public, he knows that, and he would like to apologise and give you the money he made this summer.”

“I couldn’t take it, sister,” you opposed. “It’s his. He needs it to pay rent, he’s moving in with Hoseok and Taehyung.”

Wait, was that why he hadn’t left yet? Because he wanted to wait until September so he didn’t have to pay for August?

“He’ll make much more when he’s on tour,” Sister Daeun insisted. “This is the least he can do for you. That I can do for you, too. You’ll always be my novice, Y/N, no matter what.” Without a second’s thought, you hugged her tightly. It was solacing to know there was at least one person who saw past your sins. “Jungkook’s gone to get the money but he won’t be here until late, Bangtan is opening for another one of those rock bands in a concert tonight. He’ll give it to you tomorrow.”

“I was just going into town, so if you tell me the name of the venue, I’ll stop by. He must be there doing a stage rehearsal.” You remembered the light in his eyes when he’d explained to you everything about the vocation he was so passionate about, how sweet his smile was… No. No. You shouldn’t feel anything after what he’d done. “I want to get this over and done with as soon as possible.”

That turned out to be yet another bad decision.

Once your interview was over, you rushed to the same venue you’d seen Jungkook perform Rock God and Church.

Paying no mind to the fans at the entrance who looked askance at you for jumping the line, the security guy let you in when he recognised you. Memories of the two nights you’d previously been there stormed you while getting backstage, especially how fast your heart had beat because of the racy lyrics of the songs and the way Jungkook had looked at you from the stage.

Now, it died inside your chest as you watched him make out with Amber at the end of the otherwise empty hallway.

He had her pinned against the wall, hands gripping her ass to press their bodies together and lips devouring hers as though he couldn’t get enough. Amber’s hands were wrapped around his neck, and she now grabbed a fistful of his hair to pull his head back and start kissing his neck. You saw how Jungkook smirked at the action, turned on by her dominance.

Both in their rockstar outfits, they looked like a perfect match, so you couldn’t help but wonder if they’d been dating all along. If that boyfriend of hers Jungkook had told you about was none other than himself.

Forcing yourself out of your shock, you exited the venue through the back as quickly as you could, saving the cascade of tears that was already building up in your eyes until you were alone.

It wasn’t that you were going to forgive him and expected his apology to come with an offer to date him again, but even after everything he had done to you, you still loved him. You hated yourself for it, but you couldn't help it. You were so stupid that you wished he'd find you there, sat on the cold concrete, and just held you in his arms until you stopped crying.

The next day you slept through breakfast, and would’ve stayed in your cell until lunch had Father Jimin not summoned you to his office again.

Curiously, this time around he looked… sorry?

“I’ve been made aware of some information this morning,” he said from across his desk with a nod.

“About me?” You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. Oh, God, what now?

“I can’t answer that because it has to do with a confession, but it’s made me realise I was wrong.” He leaned in, gaze moving around as he tried to think of a way not to reveal anything disclosed in the confessional box. “I should’ve been more cautious instead of welcoming just anyone into our home. Sometimes, I fail to see beyond the surface, and it results in the harm of others. A harm I pray it’s possible to heal from.”

“I don’t understand…”

“What I mean is that you don’t have to be afraid anymore. You can go back to being a novice, or take as long as you need to resolve any doubts you might have. Whatever you choose, I’ll support you.”

“But, why, Father? The things I did– You forgive me?”

“I’ve seen you regret them even if they weren’t your fault, so yes, I do.” You frowned. “I just hope you can forgive me too.”

On your way back to your cell, you walked slowly, using all your energy to figure out what Father Jimin had been talking about. When the answer popped up in your mind, you turned around and ran through the abbey. If Jungkook had done what you thought he had… Fortunately, it didn’t take long to find him, as you almost crashed together when turning to the next hallway. Had it not been because he’d grabbed your waist in time, you would’ve fallen.

When he realised it was you, he let go and stepped back. “Y/N, I wanted to talk to y–”

“Did you tell Father Jimin you raped me?”

The question took him by surprise. “He talked to you first… Wait, I thought confessional secrecy was unbreakable?”

“He didn’t tell me, I deduced it on my own.” You crossed your arms, disappointed you were right. “Why would you do that? I can’t make sense of it.”

“It was the only way to get the abbot to take you back. It’s not like he can report me to the police, and I’m leaving anyway… I told him I made you do things and that you were scared to tell anyone.” Jungkook looked everywhere but your eyes. “I’m really sorry for outing you. It was fucking childish of me and you didn’t deserve it. I was just so mad at what you said… but I know that’s no excuse.”

A part of you wanted to apologise for that and even ask him if it was too late to start over, but another reminded you of what you saw last night and stopped you, along with the one that should hold the most weight—your parents. It was a miracle you’d been given back the chance to honour their wishes, so you couldn’t ruin it again.

“I also wanted to give you this.” Jungkook handed you an old school bag. “My aunt told you what’s inside, right? She mentioned earlier you were going to come pick it up yesterday at the venue.”

“Yes, I forgot…” you lied. “I was at a job interview and got out quite late.”

“That’s okay. Did it go well?” He shouldn’t have asked, it was none of his business anymore. The interest in you had just rolled out of his mouth before he could stop it.

“It did, actually.” Both of you knew that if you went back to being a novice, you couldn’t take the job, but neither addressed it.

“Swell.” Jungkook put his hands inside his pockets, looked at you like he wanted to say much more. “I hope you have a happy life, Y/N. I really do.”

“Wait, are you saying goodbye? You’re leaving now?”

So soon?

“Yeah, poor Father Jimin thinks I’m… Well, you know. I wouldn’t want someone like me around you girls either. Plus, it’s September today, summer’s over,” he said with a forced smile. “Hoseok and Tae are waiting for me in the van. I shouldn’t keep them waiting.”

Before he could leave, you walked closer and gave him a hug. It didn’t feel right even when he wrapped his arms tight around you and buried his face in the crook of your neck, what with everything left unsaid, but you needed to feel his warmth one last time.

“Goodbye, Jungkook. And happy birthday.”

Two years later

“You’ll like Bangtan, they’re wicked hot,” Chloe said for the third time, rather trying to convince herself than you, as she knew rock wasn’t your type of music. “Especially Taehyung, he’s my favourite!”

The concert was supposed to start soon, so hugging yourself and rubbing your arms, you stood on your tiptoes to check if the long queue ahead was moving any faster. “Well, I’m glad they’re hot, ‘cause I’m freezing.”

She, Chloe, was a friend you’d made on the first day of university. Lots had changed.

“It won’t be long now, get the tickets ready,” she gave you something to do, to forget about the February cold.

As she’d promised, it took less than five minutes for the two of you to enter the biggest venue in town. Such was the fame of Bangtan now. You were only glad the security guy from the other times wasn’t there to recognise you, since Chloe was unaware of your past as a groupie. It wasn’t that you were keeping it from her… You just didn’t feel like talking about him.

“Come on,” she grinned while grabbing your hand, all excited, “let’s get close to the stage!”

The concert lasted what felt like an eternity.

Not only did you have to endure Rock God and Church again, which opened the wound of a relationship you still hadn’t healed from, but you also had to keep your head down so as to not be spotted by the band members.

It was going alright, though, until you made the mistake of glancing up, and saw him. And he saw you.

Minus the fact that he wasn’t a blond anymore, Jungkook looked the same as always. Not that that was a bad thing. Whether in his rockstar outfit or covered in goat milk, he took your breath away. He skipped a few notes due to the shock of seeing you in the crowd but as the professional he was, he managed to make his faltering almost unnoticeable and keep playing the guitar like nothing had happened. But he wouldn’t lose you out of sight.

You wanted to look away, leave, even, but found you couldn’t, like Jungkook had put a spell on you. A spell that only broke once Bangtan thanked their fans for coming and left the stage.

Chloe, who’d been cheering throughout the whole show, now went on about how amazing it had been, how hot Taehyung had looked. Not really listening, you automatically nodded to everything until you heard, “Let’s go to the toilets before a line forms, I really need to pee.”

“Sure.”

You held her purse while you waited outside, recalling how Father Jimin had warned you seeing Jungkook again would only make your wound sting—to which you’d agreed! The only reason you were there was because you’d promised Chloe. Chloe, who was taking so long.

With a sigh, your eyes neglected that random spot on the floor they’d been fixed on and flew around to end up on those of Jungkook, who was walking towards you. The few people in the line to use the toilets gasped and watched their idol, but he didn’t care, walked past them like they didn’t exist. You, weren’t sure what to feel when he was finally in front of you.

“Hi,” he said with a faint smile that you returned rather awkwardly, given the fact everyone was looking at you. “Can we talk… in private?”

Every cell of your body told you to decline, that Jungkook was a book you shouldn’t pick up again even to leaf through, but your head nodded on its own accord. Hope you don’t mind, Chloe.

It was upstairs to the now deserted first floor he led you, and the balcony of which you stood next by, where you could see the few people left heading out. They didn’t hold your attention for longer than a second, though.

“I didn’t think you’d come,” Jungkook spoke almost shyly, yet his eyes didn’t leave your face until he forced them to, not to weird you out. How long had he been staring like that? But you looked so pretty...

“I’m here with a friend from uni, she’s a fan.”

He didn’t understand. “Wait, you ended up leaving the convent?”

“I did finish my novitiate but I never took the vows. They let me live there, though.”

It wasn’t a decision you made overnight, obviously, and one Father Jimin and Sister Daeun worked hard for many months to make you see it wouldn’t have upset your parents as much as you believed, much less get them to stop loving you. In fact, you were still coming to terms with it, not entirely free of guilt, but a mix of secular and spiritual life was proving to be exactly what you needed.

The university and the abbey, parties and Mass, your new friends and your family… You could have both and save your soul from damnation. Now, could you save your heart from breaking all over again? It felt like it already was, physically so close to Jungkook yet so far that an uncomfortable silence had fallen between you.

“Are you seeing anyone?”

You looked at him. Cut to the chase, alright… “I’m not. A-Are you?”

Was that a sigh of relief he let out through his parted lips, or did you just want it to be? “No.”

“I thought you’d be dating Amber.” Jungkook frowned slightly, so you went on and confessed, “I saw you together the night before you left. I came to pick up the money and… Well, none of that matters now.”

Horror painted Jungkook’s face. That was how you’d remembered him? Getting off with Amber?

“She’d just broken up with her boyfriend,” he wasted no time in saying. “Neither of us was thinking clearly. It was a one-time thing, an adrenaline rush after a concert.”

You hugged yourself, lips pressing together at the details you didn’t want to hear. “You don’t need to explain, we weren’t dating anymore…”

“Fuck, I’m sorry that you’ve thought all this time that I was with her,” Jungkook apologised anyway, gaze falling to the floor in shame. “Actually, I know that it doesn’t count for anything, but I’m sorry about a lot of things.”

“Yeah, I wish it did. Count… Or better yet, I wish I’d gone with you,” you laughed, at the fact that you meant it.

“What?” Jungkook took a step closer, as though he’d misheard and wanted to make sure he got it this time. Suddenly, you realised what an idiot you were being.

“Nothing, forget it.” You turned around to leave before the lump in your throat summoned any tears, but Jungkook took your hand to stop you. He couldn’t let you go, even if he’d been the one to leave last time.

“I’m glad you didn’t come with me, Y/N, and that you got to do what you wanted. But I do wish I hadn’t ruined everything and hurt you. If I could go back, I'd punch me in the face.”

It didn’t mean you’d forgotten, but the truth was that you’d forgiven what he did a while ago. After all, “I was also a dick to you.”

“If you’re a dick, then I like dick.”

Actually, you hated him.

You hated even more that that made you laugh but it was because of Jungkook’s clownery that you first fell for him. And you’d never stopped loving him. He smiled fondly, caressing your hand. On his wrist, where there used to be a small uninked spot, now was your name’s initial. Neither had he, it seemed.

“Does this mean you want us to…?”

His eyes opened wide, feigning scandal. “What, here? I’d sooner do it in a chapel.” You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t keep from smiling. “How about we start with a date? Say... Friday at 5pm? I know a good roller-skating rink.”

⇢ drabble: faith

[writing-house-of-m]

The Silent Treatment

Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Genre: It's a surprise

Warnings: A bit suggestive

Word count: 1429

Summary: You give Wanda the silent treatment after she betrays you

T/N: Malysh = baby (Thanks to @veronika-y for the list I always refer to 🖤)

A/N: I wanted to write something, so @cuinaminute229 gave me the prompt - "You can't break up with me. We're married." @mirrorballwn was there too and asked for Professor Wanda although I don't think this is what she had in mind lol

I hope you like this. Let me know what you think! 🙂

You hear the front door unlock from where you are, already in bed reading a book.

After college today Wanda went out for a meal with the other members from the faculty. You were glad she was out longer than usual not wanting to see her today.

'Sweet and innocent Professor Maximoff' is how she is known, if only her colleagues and students knew what she was really like. Maybe she wouldn't be such a favorite anymore.

You knew though. You saw past the pretty smile and soft voice. You knew what kind of person lay beneath. No one knows of her back stabbing ways.

A faint, 'honey, I'm home!' makes its way to your ears but you make no effort in responding. After what she has done, how can she believe everything is okay?

While she approaches you can hear her talk about her day. Stupid questions from students. Having to deal with Stark's bad jokes during dinner. Wanting to get home to see you because she hasn't all day.

The words of an evil person.

Last night, you were pretty sure you made it clear you were unhappy. She betrayed you and now she is acting like nothing happened.

You remain silent. You have nothing more to say after the events from the previous night.

Making her way around the bedroom she gets ready for bed, still droning on about the events that took place today.

She turns in your direction, seeing you busy with your book she walks over, planting a soft kiss on your head before making her way to the bathroom, "You're quiet today, malysh."

'Malysh.' How dare she. Despicable. It makes you sick to your stomach.

Even more so because you don't know how long it's been since you've turned a page of your book. The thoughts in your mind prevent you from concentrating on anything else, only Wanda's actions.

Wanda returns, placing her rings she had forgotten to take off, in front of the vanity mirror as she finishes her spiel of the day. When you don't look up to her once again with your usual smile she begins to worry because you haven't said a word to her since she has arrived home.

"Malysh..." She begins, "what's going on?"

Oh, so now she cares? You finally turn to Wanda with a hard look that takes her back slightly.

"I told you, we're broken up," you say monotonously, then turn your attention back to your book to continue 'reading'.

Wanda furrows her eyebrows, wondering what it was she could have done to make you act so cold towards her. Then it dawns on her.

Rolling her eyes, smiling to herself Wanda finishes rubbing in her moisturiser. Slowly, she makes her way over to you, climbing onto your lap, pulling the book out of your hands at the same time. You look the opposite way, annoyed, as she places it on the side table.

"Y/n-"

"Don't." You say, resolutely.

"This is still about last night? I said I was sorry," Wanda coos, trying to make eye contact but not forcing you to look her way.

"It was unforgivable, Wanda," you say and return to silence, crossing your arms.

Wanda lets out a sigh and instead of using words she scoots closer to you. Her attempt to kiss your cheek is intercepted by your hand.

"Baby," she whines, extending the word, "it's not that big of a deal."

You turn to Wanda with an incredulous look, "Not making someone pay rent is a clear rule violation!" You exasperate, "Everyone else made their partners pay, why did Nat get away with not making Maria pay? And then you took her side! It was the highest form of betrayal in my eyes."

She tries not to smile but it's so hard with how seriously you have been taking this.

"Stickler Steve was the only one on my side last night, so he's the only friend I have left as far as I'm concerned, and…" you make a fake look as if you are remembering something, "oh yeah, we're broken up."

Wanda doesn't bother hiding her smile now, the weekly game night with your friends always ends with a new story, this time it is centred around your competitiveness. "Well that's too bad. You can't break up with me, we're married," Wanda scoffs.

"So you do remember you're married to me and not to Nat and Maria. As my wife, you are supposed to take my side, it's in the contract," you make up. "I can't believe Tony took their side too," you finish with a scowl.

"Baby, I said I was sorry." When Wanda sees you are not making any attempt to say anything else, she realises she will have to take it up a notch. "Let me make it up to you," she says quickly then kisses you before you can even think. The taste of toothpaste and Wanda's lingering perfume overtake your senses. She presses harder into you, taking your breath away.

You pull your head back, hands on Wanda's shoulders to keep her away, "N- No. Y- You're not allowed to kiss me," you stutter, clearly affected.

"No?" she questions playfully in a low voice, moving forward against your hands. When her lips press against yours again you 'attempt' to push against her shoulders again but quickly crumble and get lost in the kiss.

As it progresses you roll over moving your kisses to her neck, a hand rising under her shirt making her moan. Wanda smiles when she sees where this is going, there is no way you are going to stop now.

Your will is only so strong when it comes to Wanda.

…

Your eyes are closed as Wanda lays on top of you, legs tangled together in the bed sheets. She threads her fingers through your hair, her warm body pressed against yours not helping you wanting to stay 'angry' at her.

"I'm still mad at you, you know," you sigh. Inwardly cursing yourself because you wanted your words to come out more seriously than they do.

Wanda hovers over you, moving her legs to either side of your waist, a position that is also not helping you school your features to be mad at her. You can feel the aftermath of your activities between her legs, her heat radiating on your stomach.

She gets you to look her straight in the eye by squashing your cheeks together and pulling you to look in her direction. "Y/n. I'm sorry," she says seriously, holding heavy eye contact, trying to stop a smirk from appearing on her face.

Cupping your cheeks with both hands after you look away dramatically, Wanda starts to place quick kisses all over your face saying "I'm sorry" after each one.

You let out an airy laugh, "Okay! Okay. I accept your apology."

Wanda smiles and pecks your lips. As you continue to speak she rests her weight fully on you leaning her chin against her hands now resting on your chest, "This doesn't mean I forgive you! You have to prove yourself on the next game night," you pout, running your fingers through her hair forcing her eyes to close.

Wanda hums, a cheeky smirk overtaking her face, "Do you still want to break up with me?" She asks, opening her eyes while biting her bottom lip, raising an eyebrow waiting for your response.

You pretend to think of your reply, "For now? No."

"For now, huh?" She says, placing her hands either side of your head hovering over you, "I guess I should make the most of you while I have you," she says huskily as she rolls her hips against you and she moves in to kiss you.

Once again she takes your breath away and you have no choice but to oblige, placing your hands on her hips.

When you pull away, Wanda rests her head against yours allowing you both to catch your breath.

Wanda is the best thing that has ever happened to you so you make sure she knows that. You move a hand to rub her cheek with your thumb, "I love you," you tell her as if the room is full of people and you are telling her a secret.

Once Wanda replies with her 'I love you' you bring her lips back to yours and show her in more ways than one, just how much you love her, the game night forgotten… until the next time you needed to remind her of her betrayal of course.

A/N: Did you think they were going to break up? April fools, I guess... Hehehe

[dracoxsworld]

I literally loved the last Fred one so I want to request another thing with him hehe, could you please write Fred walking in on the reader masturbating to the thought of him, maybe before dating idk, anyways that’s it! Thank you if you do!! :)

Warnings: Masturbation obvi, vaginal sex, and nasty smut overall lol Minors DNI

A/N: Hi! Thank you for sending in the request, bestie! I love me some Freddy, too. <3 I hope this is good for you. :)

Caught. - Fred W. x Reader

You were alone in your dorm room, your moans echoing against your walls. Your fingers rubbing your clit in a circular motion, only you were imagining you weren't alone.

You were imagining you were with your long-time best friend, Fred Weasley. You and Fred had been friends ever since you could remember. You were friends with his twin, George too, but you and Fred had a special connection. Though, you were almost positive that this was a one sided emotion. You were in love with Fred.

You always had been. His red hair, freckled face, his big hands, charming and witty personality. He could always make you laugh, even if you were having the worst day. He always knew what to say to make you feel better.

So there you were. You had been horny all that day, your dream of him fucking you against your mattress, fingering you followed by you orgasming all over his fingers. His dick down your throat, or in your pussy, pumping in and out of you at a fast pace. It was all running through your mind.

"Freddy.." You moaned out. It sounded like porn, your perfect moans, the sound of your wet pussy. You imagined his head between your thighs, his tongue on your clit, hitting just the right spot.

A knot formed in your stomach at just the thought. The gripping of his red hair as he went down on you, licking up your orgasm like a sweet treat.

Before the relief of an orgasm could wash over you, your door opened. You, instead felt you felt your body go cold.

There he was, Fred Weasley in the doorway. "Oh my god, Fred, fuck." You say, quickly grabbing your blanket to cover yourself.

"Holy shit." Fred murmured. He was in awe.

"I am so sorry.. I- I didn't know you were coming over- I"

"Were you moaning my name, Y/N?" Fred asked, closing the door behind him.

You gulped, your face went even redder, you couldn't even look at him.

"I thought I heard you, when I was walking up to your dorm.." Fred said, smirking. "You know.., if you were, I'd be honored." He expressed. You looked up at him, still struggling to hold eye contact.

"Really..?" you stammered.

Fred nodded, and sat next to you on your bed. "So, tell me doll. Were you moaning my name? Hm?"

You nodded, covering your face with your comforter. Fred smiled at you, with the most ornery smile. He kicked off his shoes, and crawled up onto the bed with you.

"Were you imagining me doing things to you, doll?" He inquired.

"Freddy.." You groaned. Him just saying it made you bothered. You were on the edge, then then he came in; you couldn't finish.

"Why didn't you tell me? That you felt this way?"

"I just.. I didn't know if you'd feel the same way.." You trembled.

Fred chuckled. "Baby I've been waiting for you, for years now." He admitted. You gulped. "Did I stop you from finishing, baby girl?"

You nodded, squeezing your thighs together. You whined. "Would you like me to help you?" He asked, looking down, and slowly removing the comforter from your lower half. "Freddy... Please.." You begged.

"Well how could I say no to that?" Fred cooed.

Fred fully removed your comforter, looking at your middle, that had soaked a wet spot into your sheet. "Oh doll.. you're filthy.." Fred murmured. You moaned. You gripped his red hair, earning a groan from him. "Oh baby.. You've dreamed of this, haven't you?" You nodded in response. "Please.." you urged him.

"Okay baby, I'll finish for you, just relax.."

Fred positioned himself between your legs, trembling from the non-intentional edging. His tongue barley touched your clit, going in circular motions. You sighed loudly, pulling his hair tighter between your fingers. "You taste just as sweet as I had imagined." Fred said against your heat. "I've thought about this too, you're even more beautiful than you were in my dreams."

"Freddy.. I want you.."

"You want me what?" Fred asked, lifting his head above between your legs.

"In me... please." You pleaded him, tilting his chin up towards you.

"Whatever the princess wants." Fred allowed, unbuckling his belt, pulling his trousers down. You could see his bulge through his boxers, it looked large. You reached for it, palming him through his boxers slightly. Fred groaned, his hand snaking to behind your neck and gripping your hair.

"Merlin, you're going to be fun to destroy."

He gently took your hand away, then took off his boxers. He climbed onto bed with you again, kissing your neck, his hand trailing up your thighs, eventually wandering to in-between, caressing your folds, focusing on your clit.

You could see stars, he was biting and sucking on your neck, undoubtfully leaving marks. Your nails were running down his back.

"You're so stunning." Fred groaned into your neck. You felt his fingers leave your clit, you bucked your hips upwards, hoping for his fingers to touch you again. "Ah-ah. Behave." He said sternly. He positioned himself in between you, teasing your entrance with his dick, leaking with precum.

You couldn't believe this was happening. You thought you were dreaming. "Are you sure you're ready?" Fred asked. You nodded, adding a moan for reassurance. He nodded, pushing himself into you. Both of you moaned, you reached for him, and pulled him down close to you. Fred started kissing your neck again, occasionally going down to your collar bones while thrusting in and out of you. Starting off slow, and overtime, the longer it was, the faster he went.

"You belong to me now. Only me." Fred commanded, with his heaving breathing in your ear. You nodded in agreeance, moaning his name. "That's right. I'm making you feel this way."

"Freddy. I'm close." You sighed, your nails in his back, making crescent shaped marks in his skin. "Me too, cum for me baby..Come on" Fred allowed you.

Just like that, like clockwork, you both orgasmed. Both of you trembling, Fred pulled himself out, and laid on top of you.

“So.. this is a normal thing now?” Fred finely was able to breathe out.

“Yes, please” You replied.

[softboo]

love me, ever so gently - part II

pairing: austin x reader

summary: you recently moved to a new apartment, making some new eccentric friends along the way. but what you didn't expect was falling in love with a stranger. a stranger you somehow couldn't stop thinking about

words: 2.8k

warnings: more hints of domestic abuse, dark themes in relationships

author's note: soo i made a part II and i made it so quickly that it kinda blended into part III. i also want to say thank you to everyone who read part I because my heart melted. like i was already excited when it hit more than zero lol. but wow thank you so much!! it truly means the world :3 i hope you like this next part heh c:

previous part // next part

part II

you piled the books onto the cart, the last group needed for organizing before the store closed. today was pretty slow as customers came and went, but your thoughts were somewhere else. on someone else rather.

it's been almost a week since the fair and this stranger was eating away in your head. maybe some part of you wished you would see him again. but what were the odds of that happening? the days started to blend into each other and you were so afraid that if you stopped thinking about him, just even for a little bit, the memory would disappear.

the more time that passed, the less you thought he would show up again.

but you missed seeing him. you wished for anything just to talk to him just a little bit longer than the last. you felt crazy for feeling so attached to him, but there was something so pulling about him. the way he would listen to you talk about the stories you loved and hated. the way his eyes would just gaze right through you, like you were someone he had missed seeing.

oceans filled your head, the calm waters flowing through your heart. but knowing it was going to disappear just as quickly as it came.

because he was only temporary. the waters weren't yours to stay in.

the backdoor swung open and you heard george hobbling over at you, almost tipping you both off balance as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder.

"look who it is! my favorite girl!" he smiled, completely disrupting your last task before you had to close the store. he flashed a toothy grin as cassandra appeared right behind him.

"george please, you're going to fall on the poor girl." her tone annoyed, but with a hint of concern. "do me a favor and go to the storage room to get the books for the events before i throw something at you."

she shot him a glare before he waved goodbye to the both of you. cassandra came towards you, picking up a few of the novels on the cart to help you finish.

"you're still thinking about him, dear?"

you quickly turned your head to look at her, eyes widening at the sudden accusation.

"how did—?"

"sweetie, it's written all over your face. and you've had that same expression since the fair. i'm not clueless."

you gave her a weak smile, confirming exactly what she thought. you couldn't look at her now though, feeling as if she could see right through you if you did.

"am i crazy cassie?"

she let out a small chuckle, settling the last book down on its appropriate shelf. she shook her head.

"no, you're just being young. and there's nothing wrong with that." she reassured you, not realizing that she completely finished organizing the rest of your books.

"if he ever decides to show up again, then you'll have another chance with him. if not, then you learn to move on."

that last sentence was something a part of you didn't really want to accept. your heart was still holding on to that possibility. but the more days that passed since the fair, the more you wavered on your certainty.

~ ~

"there's only two new neighbors cassie... why did we make three welcome gifts?" evelyn stated, all four of you were now squeezed into your apartment, staring at the gifts on the kitchen counter.

"because the other one is for our favorite girl!" george exclaimed, jumping up to give you the last gift. cassandra swatted at his arm, glaring at him.

"you ruined the surprise." cassandra remarked, as you gave them a weak smile.

it's been almost a month now and the thought of you ever seeing him again was fading even more. you reassured them that you appreciated the surprise anyway and george pulled you into a hug.

"if i only knew it was for her, i would've baked more cookies." evelyn stated, but you truly did appreciate the gesture regardless. they all knew something was wrong for awhile, but cassandra was the only one that knew why.

"it's okay, thank you. really. i love the gift."

cassandra caressed your cheek again as evelyn added, "if anything, i can bake more tonight and stop by to drop them off."

you smiled and nodded. "i would love that."

evelyn gave you a warm smile with her rosy little cheeks. she loved cooking for all of you, even remembering the first time she gave you your personal welcome gift when you moved in. and you remember it vividly because george ate half of those cookies.

"alright let's go drop off these gifts," cassandra stated, "george and i will go downstairs. you two will go to the one across the hall."

you all held your respective gifts and walked to where you needed to go. you and evelyn approached the apartment, evelyn knocking on the door as you held onto the gift.

you could even smell the cookies inside as it fogged a bit of the plastic, knowing how much hard work evelyn put in them. george made the little welcome sign, cassandra wrote the card with all the events planned for the year, and you placed two books. each from the ones that the store no longer needed.

it took a while for someone to answer, evelyn had to knock a few times but soon enough, the door swung open and suddenly something caught in your throat.

there she was. the same dark haired woman from a month ago. you couldn't believe it, the fact that she was your new neighbor. the fact that you saw her a month later instead of him.

and the fact that she stood there, her eyes in flames as you both somehow were at fault for knocking on her door.

"how can i help you?"

her tone was dark, it almost felt like she spat at you. evelyn noticed the slight negative connotation in her voice and opened her mouth to speak, but you came in first.

"we just wanted to drop off a gift to welcome you to the building." you gritted through a fake smile and evelyn saw you tense up. she just couldn't figure out if it was from annoyance or something else.

"oh how thoughtful," her voice was so empty. there was nothing behind it other than wanting to push you both out of her apartment.

"we also added a list of events that happen in the building like a cooking class, taught by—"

"my boyfriend and i are not interested thank you."

she cut you off again and you felt that spark of a flame growing right inside your heart.

"i'll take the gift though," and the woman snatched the beautiful piece from your hands. "austin loves this kind of thing."

she gave you a big toothy grin, something that vaguely made you uneasy but also reminded you of a poorly painted clown. she didn't even say thank you before shutting the door on your faces.

you couldn't even fathom any words, just blankly stared at the closed door. you glanced over at evelyn who was as shocked as you, opening her mouth to speak.

"what a bitch."

~ ~

your mind was racing as you ate your dinner, your favorite tv show playing in the background. the thought of austin's girlfriend being your new neighbor placed a sour taste in your mouth. like you couldn't catch a breathe as the whole situation wrapped around your throat. you had no idea if austin was living with her, but if he was, you weren't sure if you could face him with her breathing down your neck.

or if she'd even allow him to be in the same vicinity as anyone else but her.

the things you saw during the fair flashed in your head, the bruise on his hand. the tight grip of her arm around his. you shook your head, doubting that that possibility could be even true.

but if it was...? you weren't sure how you would react.

a sudden knock on your door broke you from your thoughts as you slowly got up from your chair to check who it was. as you looked through the peephole, you didn't see anyone.

you hesitated for a moment before opening the door, to find something that shattered your heart into a million pieces.

your welcome gift was staring back at you from the floor. the plastic wrap was ruined and the sign was ripped. the card splattered with wine stains and the cookies looked like they were stepped on. the only thing that was missing were the books and the event page.

you had no idea what to do, all of your hard work. everyone's hard work was ruined. a kind gesture completely taken advantage of and it was fueling your hatred even more.

you tossed it to the side, gently placing as much of the gift together as you could before closing the door. you wondered if austin took those missing things. if he knew how badly his girlfriend was treating other people and if he was even aware of the hold she had on him.

maybe that part of you was right.

~ ~

you sat in your assigned seat, the second table from the center. evelyn was busy up in the front, preparing her demonstration table full of ingredients. the kitchen right behind her with all the other food items needed for their meal. you could see how nervous she was with the way she kept fidgeting the same utensils and pans, making sure it was facing a certain way.

george appeared from the kitchen entrance, carrying supply bags out so it was easier for the class to get what they needed. he was beyond ecstatic for this as he was not only going to see a huge turnout of people again, but he was excited for the secret batch of food evelyn promised she would make for them when this was over.

you noticed cassandra passing through, a sign up sheet in her hand and you noticed a compile of names, each having their own seat and assigned table.

"so why can't i look at the list of names?" you asked her when she passed your table. all she did was smile as she handed you your name tag.

"cassie, he's not going to come." you remarked and she shook her head at your negativity.

you weren't able to tell anyone about your suspicious, thinking it probably wasn't your place to begin with. it wasn't until evelyn talked about "the dark red haired bitch from 4B" that cassandra started to connect the dots.

you just weren't sure if they were connecting all the dots.

weeks passed since the incident and each passing event with him not being present made it harder to stop thinking about him. even so when he would put his name and not show up.

this was yet, another one of those times, which was why you were doubting cassandra's optimism.

"we'll see. you never know dear," she let out a soft smile, "but if he does, give him his name tag for me?"

she handed you the tag with austin written on it, just like she did for all the other events. and yet each time, your heart skyrocketed in hopes that he was actually going to show up.

soon enough, the class started and evelyn began her introduction. the turnout was quite a lot; families, some friend groups, a few couples, an empty table in the back, and you.

with one empty seat next to yours.

~ ~

you were halfway through rolling the dough when you heard the main entrance door open. you didn't really have time to look because your stupid dough wasn't flat enough.

but it wasn't until you heard the footsteps and the water that followed suit from the rain that your now empty seat was occupied.

and your heart stopped.

"hi i'm so sorry i'm late. i'm usually not like this," his voice wavered, he sounded so flustered and embarrassed. so different from when you first met him.

you finally had the courage to look at him and you saw those same calm waters in his eyes, except they weren't as blue anymore. it was muted, like a greyness overshadowing its true color.

he had a hat on that covered his wavy blonde hair and some kind of shadow near his eyes, but he no longer had a mask and you could've sworn you heard your heart beating against your ears.

you were so overwhelmed by who he actually was that no words came out so you could respond to him. a part of you was so grateful he didn't see you as he was so preoccupied with his mistake of being late.

and when he finally settled into his seat and placed his things down, he looked at the nametag you placed on his side of the table. he quickly pinned it on his sweater to hopefully catch up on what he missed.

"i'm austin," he introduced himself, hoping you would say something to him. anything.

"hi."

your voice was so meek compared to his, even when he was the one all flustered.

"how much did i miss?" his was soft, and somehow sounded like he was comforting you.

"oh um... just the mixing part. i have the dough ready, but i can't seem to..."

you stopped as you noticed yourself ramble, completely avoiding his gaze as you looked right at the roller and your very stubborn piece of dough.

you heard him chuckle and it made your heart flutter slightly.

"can i?"

you just nodded as he placed the dough in front of him, taking the roller to knead the whole piece out. it wasn't long until he flattened it to the perfect shape that he gave you a small smile. he even followed the next few instructions from evelyn, placing the dough into a pie crust pan.

"have you cooked before?" you asked him, as he noticed the way you looked extremely impressed. and something about your expression made him flustered all over again.

"not really, but i do love cooking. i even thought about becoming a chef."

"really?"

"yeah," he let out the softest little laugh, pressing against the dough to form the crust, "that's why i moved here. i wanted to take a break for awhile and learn about the things i love to do... like cooking."

"you live here?"

a part of you wished he wasn't going to say it, but you already knew his answer.

"yeah on the 4th floor, apartment 4B."

and your heart sank to the ground.

"do you live around the area too?" he asked curiously and you nodded absentmindedly.

"yeah, i think we're neighbors. i'm 4A."

and you could've sworn you saw the blueness come back in those storm covered oceans.

"really?"

"yeah..." you hesitated for a moment, debating whether or not you should say the next part, "my friend and i actually dropped off a welcome gift for you."

and the blueness left as fast as it came.

you bit your lip, scared he might react a certain way. you started to doubt yourself. what if he was the one that ruined the gift, not the girlfriend.

he paused for a moment, going quiet as he finished mending the dough in place.

and you panicked.

"i totally understand if you didn't like the gift."

"no i liked it... i liked it a lot actually."

there was something hanging in the air now and you felt this immense guilt that you ruined the whole thing. you've thought about meeting him again for months and now that the chance arose itself, it felt like you were sabatoging everything you ever wanted.

"whenever you're both done filling your pie and adding the top crust, you can go to the kitchen and place it in the oven," evelyn instructed, smiling at the both of you as she passed your table. she cut the tension between you two for just a moment before it all came crashing back again.

you filled the pie pan and topped everything with another dough crust. the silence wrapped around you two as you finished the pie completely.

"i'll put it in the oven," austin offered, but as he got up, he winced in pain, clutching at his torso.

and that was all the confirmation you needed.

"let me, it's okay."

you took the pie from him, his body settling down on the seat again. he seemed so exhausted all of a sudden, like he no longer had the energy to put up a front anymore.

and it killed you on the inside that you had to sit there and watch.

when you came back from the kitchen, you noticed he took off his hat to fix his hair.

and that's when you saw his eyes. just above his eyebrow was a bruise and few cuts, a small bandaid on his upper temple, right where the brim of the hat would be.

but what broke your heart was the way he no longer had those lights in his eyes anymore. he rubbed his face for just a moment and you saw something else stain his hands.

it was makeup.

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Ok. Hear me out on this one. How about a Sebastian stan fic where he is on set [Pam and Tommy] and reader comes in to pick him up after filming but they end up have car sex. Say they've been dating or engaged for a while?? Idk this idea just popped into my head last night 😆 lol.

Inked with desire

Pairing | Fiancé!Sebastian Stan x Fiancée!Female!Reader

Word count | ~ 800 words

Summary | You're picking up Sebastian from the set of Pam and Tommy to go to a dinner reservation, ready to celebrate your 7th anniversary together. Plans change, however, when he sees you, and he needs you right then and there.

Warning(s) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. RPF, use of pet names (Babe, Daddy), age gap (Sebastian is in his early 40s, Reader is in her early 30s), smut (unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), Daddy kink, light dirty talk).

A/N | Thank you for this request; it has actually left me speechless. This is honestly one of my favorite roles he's played, and I can never get enough of looking at him like this! I hope you enjoy the route I took with this 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 💚

Divider is made by @firefly-graphics | 18+ banner is made by yours truly

Main Masterlist | Sebastian Stan Masterlist

Sebastian recently started filming for the series 'Pam and Tommy,' even though you've seen photos of him in tattoos, you're about to see him entirely in character for the first time today.

You're getting yourself ready for dinner with him since it's your 7th anniversary today, and you've bought a red velvet dress just for this occasion and to make him go a little crazy, too. He loves seeing you in red, so you're playing into that perfectly with this risky number.

The dress is paired with black heels, subtle make-up, hair in loose curls around your shoulders, and the handbag Sebastian gifted you for your anniversary to finish the look.

When Sebastian texts you that filming is done, you're driving over to the film set, though you won't get far after he's spotted you because you're both lusting after one another when you arrive on the set.

''E-Excuse me, do you happen to know where Sebastian is?'' you ask a woman walking from the set, and she happily points you toward his trailer, where he's getting ready for dinner.

You knock a few times, and Sebastian tells you to come in, so you open the door and walk up the few steps, careful not to fall in your heels.

''Is this a good time? I can wait outside-'' you say, but you don't finish the sentence when you see Sebastian looking at you, his jaw slack as he takes in your outfit.

He shakes his head as he snaps out of it and almost forgets to introduce you to his co-star, Lily.

''I'm sorry, Y/N, this is Lily. Lily, this is my amazing fiancée Y/N,'' he says as you stretch out a hand and happily shake her hand, saying how nice it is to meet her finally.

''You look amazing as Pam, and I can't wait to see the result once it finally comes out,'' you tell her, and Sebastian not so discreetly pulls you into his side, his hand laying on your ass, barely covered by your dress.

''I should go. It was lovely to meet you, and I can't wait to see you around again,'' Lily says before saying goodbye to Sebastian. As soon as the door shuts behind her, he's all over you. His hands touch you everywhere, pawing at every inch of your body, his lips taste your skin as if it's the first time he's ever tasted you.

''S-Seb, we have to go to dinner,'' you say, and he knows you're right, but it's so damn hard to behave himself when you look like this.

He changes into his dinner outfit, and the two of you head out to your car, conveniently placed in a darker bit of the parking lot, though that wasn't planned when you arrived. Now, however, you'll be thrilled that you did.

''Can't wait to fuck you, Babe, need you right fucking now,'' Sebastian growls before pushing you against the door of your car, his lips crashing onto yours and his hands wandering to open the door.

Once he found the handle, he let you go and turned you around so he could climb into the backseat, letting you crawl on top of him just the way he liked. You pull the door shut behind you, and Sebastian has already made quick work of his pants.

''Need you so bad, Daddy, need you to fuck my brains out,'' you say with a whining voice, and Sebastian pulls up your dress, revealing the fact that you went, in fact, without panties this evening, and he only gets more turned on by it.

''I'm ready for you, Daddy, please,'' you beg softly, and Sebastian is so hard it hurts, so he quickly lines up with your entrance, a deep groan leaving his chest when you sink in a smooth motion, desperate to be filled by him.

A broken moan leaves your body as you adjust to his size, and he pulls you forward to kiss you deeply, his tongue finding its way into your mouth instantly.

When you start rolling your hips, he grabs hold of your ass and starts thrusting up into you rapidly, broken moans and groans leaving your bodies as you chase both your highs simultaneously.

''D-Daddy! 'm cumming!'' you say as he hits your sweet spot just right, and you're falling apart around him, squeezing the life out of him as you cum, followed by him soon after.

You collapse on top of him as you're both regaining your strength.

''How about we skip dinner and go straight home? I want to make you fall apart on my fingers, tongue, and cock for the rest of the night, and I can't wait any longer than I have to,'' Sebastian whispers in your ear, and you nod, wanting precisely that.

''Yes, Daddy. Please.''

[misc-obeyme]

SFW prompt #9 with Lucifer? (If it isn't taken that is)

Hello!

It was not taken, so you're good! Ahh Lucifer! I used to be so obsessed with him, then I hated his guts, and now I love him again, but I just want him to chill out and take a break for once. I tend to have this thing with characters that work a lot where I want them to just... stop. And relax. And Lucifer is one of those lol.

Anyway, thank you for participating!

1,000 Followers Event!

GN!MC x Lucifer with prompt "You know me so well."

Warnings: none!

It had been a week of chaos. You watched as Lucifer tried to handle every problem that was thrown his way. And you couldn't deny that he did a good job of dealing with everything while still maintaining his usual composure. And yet you could tell how tired he was, too. You knew him well enough to see it in the lines by his eyes, the way he sometimes sighed quietly when he thought no one could hear him.

In the evenings, you always found him in his office. He didn't have any time to be anywhere else, slumped over piles of paperwork that only ever seemed to grow larger.

And so you decided to take it upon yourself to give Lucifer a night of relaxation.

The first thing you did was go to the Demon Lord's Castle to consult with Diavolo and Barbatos about getting a nice bottle of Demonus. They were immediately on board, giving you several bottles, all of which were of the finest quality and hand picked from Diavolo's own stores. Barbatos also gave you some of Lucifer's favorite foods.

After this, you went to Solomon because you knew he had obtained a rare cursed record recently. The only thing he asked for in exchange was that you put in a good word for him with Lucifer, a suggestion that making a pact with him would be beneficial to them both.

You set everything up in the music room. You had the Demonus and the food on the table, two full glasses beside a silver platter. You already put the record on the gramophone, but you hadn't started playing it yet.

Then you sat down, smoothed out your clothes, and pulled out your D.D.D. You sent Lucifer a text asking him to meet you in the music room. You tried to make it sound like it was a problem, like something had gone wrong and you needed his help right away.

Lucifer responded saying he would be with you shortly.

You waited. You fiddled with your fingers a little bit as you did. You knew that Lucifer had a lot to do, but he really needed to take a break after this hectic week. You were hoping that he would come here and relax with you at least for a little while.

When he finally showed up, Lucifer came into the room with his usual stoic expression, his eyebrows drawn as though he was prepared to deal with another mess.

"All right, MC," he said. "I'm here. What is-"

He cut off when he finally saw you, sitting there on the sofa next to the Demonus and food.

You stood up and moved closer to him. "I know you've had to put out a lot of fires this week," you said. "And you've been staying up all night to finish paperwork again. So I wanted you to come here and take a break with me. I have some special rare Demonus, a selection of foods including your favorite poison apples, and I found a new cursed record that we can listen to. I checked and it's safe for a human like me to hear it."

Lucifer stared at you for several moments before he finally smiled. It wasn't a smirk, either, but a genuine smile and you watched as his entire body seemed to relax. He came over to you, putting a hand on your cheek.

Lucifer chuckled. "You know me so well."

You smiled back at him, pleased with the way he seemed to be ready to join you, the way he was looking at you so fondly, as if this was the best gift he ever could have received.

You gestured for him to sit down on the sofa while you started the record. The room was filled with the soft sounds of classical music played by violins as you sat beside him. You picked up the glasses of Demonus and handed one over to him.

"Shall we make a toast?" Lucifer asked.

You raised your glass. "To a night off!"

Lucifer laughed softly, leaned forward, and said quietly, "To us."

Then he clinked his glass against yours and took a sip, his eyes never leaving yours.

You blushed, but sipped at your own glass. Even though Demonus had no effect on you, it still tasted good and this particular vintage had been one of Diavolo's finest.

Lucifer clearly appreciated it, picking up the bottle to read the label. "How did you get a Demonus of this quality?"

You shrugged. "I had some help. I'm not the only one who would like you to take a break more often."

Lucifer put the bottle back down. He had a knowing expression on his face, but nobody needed to say Diavolo's name.

Lucifer moved closer to you, putting an arm around your shoulders and pulling you close to him. You could feel his body moving gently with his breath. You heard the soft shh of fabric as he lifted his arm to sip from his glass, a soft sound that you were close enough to hear even with the melancholic strains of violins that filled the room.

After some time, Lucifer put down his empty glass. You set yours beside his, also empty. The record wasn't finished yet, but you knew he might leave anyway. No doubt he still had plenty of work to do, even if you only wanted him to stay here beside you.

"This has been a very pleasant evening, MC," Lucifer said, turning you slightly so you were looking at him. "I truly appreciate the lengths you have gone to. But you must know that all I need is you."

You blushed and looked away from his intense gaze, his ruby eyes almost aflame with a desire you couldn't face. "I know. But I wanted to do something extra for you. You deserve it after everything you've been through this past week."

Lucifer's arm tightened around you, his other arm coming up to wrap around your waist, pulling you closer to him in a way that forced you to look at him again. The minute you did, he was kissing you, his touch soft yet firm. You responded by returning his embrace, one hand resting on his chest, feeling the rhythm of his heart as it sped up significantly.

The music from the gramophone swelled, the violins increasing in volume and fervor at that exact moment, as if somehow the composer had known that it would be the soundtrack to this intimate moment between you. It filled you with a heady dizziness that you never got from drinking Demonus.

Lucifer pulled away for a moment, pressing his forehead to yours, the vulnerability in his eyes unlike anything you had ever seen from him before. "How have you come to mean so much to me? I can hardly control myself when I'm with you."

You drew in a breath. "You've spent so much time looking after everyone else, Lucifer. You just needed someone to look after you for once."

Lucifer shut his eyes, as if the truth of your words had sunk into his soul, a reality he hadn't been prepared to acknowledge. Then he kissed you again, pulling you in even more, like he needed to feel you as much as possible. You never thought of Lucifer as being afraid, but in that moment you thought perhaps he was scared to let you go.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, your own embrace just as needy. What had begun as a simple kiss deepened, your mouth falling open for him, your body moving against him.

Lucifer was rarely so open with you, but tonight you had seen in him how much he needed you. How much he cherished you. How he wanted to keep you by his side and never let you go. As you shared that passionate kiss, you could feel it burning through you, a spark that ignited your skin with his touch.

And in the background, the violins sang.

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[honeyedmiller]

Dirty Thirty // Pedro Pascal

Hey everyone :') this is my first time ever writing a one-shot/imagine on Tumblr lol, and I've decided to feed into my Pedro Pascal addiction by adding to my delusions and writing this LMAO. Hope you enjoy!

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warnings: age gap (17 years- the reader turns 30 in this), swearing, smut, brief mentions of daddy issues.

word count: 5.2k

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synopsis: y/n admits on Jimmy Fallon's talkshow that Pedro Pascal is her celebrity crush, and Pedro turns up at y/n's thirtieth birthday party as a surprise.

"Our next guest happens to be Hollywood's fastest rising star and first-time Golden Globe winner. She's currently taking the film world by storm with her outstanding roles in Labyrinth, Stranded, and Solitaires, please welcome y/f/n y/l/n!" Jimmy excitedly beckons your presence as you made your way onto the floor, the crowd cheering loudly.

You wave at the audience with a gracious smile playing at your lips, giving Jimmy a hug and a kiss on the cheek to greet him. You took a seat on the chair next to his desk, crossing one of your midnight blue-panted legs over the other. This wasn't your first time on his talk show, so you felt comfortable and at ease.

"It's so good to see you again, y/n. You've been quite the busy woman. How are you?" Jimmy smiles in your direction, folding his hands on top of his desk as he turns toward you, offering you an inviting smile.

"I've been great! Just super busy with filming and press tours. It's been hectic but I'm having the best time." You reply with confidence, and Jimmy asks you a few more questions about the shows you've been filming before he changes the subject.

"So, the world has to know-- is a beautiful world sensation like you single right now?" He folds his hands underneath his chin like a schoolgirl that's about to gossip with their best friend. You grinned nervously, never really liking to talk about your pathetic dating life.

Nowadays, people only wanted to be with you for the fame, and you never had any interest in your co-stars. Quite frankly, your schedule was too hectic to even think about dating at the moment, but that didn't stop you from madly crushing on amazing actor and internet sensation, Pedro Pascal.

"Unfortunately, Jimmy, I'm too busy right now for dating. When the time comes, though, I'll welcome the opportunity with open arms." You giggle softly, rubbing your hands up and down your forearms in what suddenly became nervousness.

"Do you have your eye on anyone? C'monnn tell your best pal Jimmy," he pleaded while dragging his words, "It'll be our secret... along with the rest of the world." His wit was enough to make you genuinely laugh, and you shook your head. You didn't mind confessing your crush on Pedro, mainly because you didn't think you'd ever really have a chance with him anyway.

"Fine. I think Pedro Pascal is handsome... not to mention a phenomenal actor." You exasperated, feeling your cheeks become hot knowing that your secret crush wasn't a secret anymore. Oh well.

"He is a very ruggedly handsome dude," Jimmy urges, and you nod in agreement. "Did you invite him to your thirtieth birthday party? I know that's only a few days away and everyone who's anyone is going." You hadn't even had time to think about your birthday or the party because of how caught up you've been with work and press tours.

"Honestly, I've never even met him, so I doubt he'd go," You laughed aloud, mainly to yourself. "It would be cool to meet him, though." Your eyes scan the audience, the lights too bright on stage to see clearly into the crowd of people.

"He's supposed to be a guest on my show tomorrow night so maybe I can convince him to go to your party." Jimmy wiggles his eyebrows, causing you to hit his shoulder lightly with a fake gasp escaping your lips. The audience laughed and cheered at how flustered the thought of it all actually made you, but you brushed it off for now.

Jimmy finally moved on from the subject, finishing off the interview with a fun game before you said your goodbyes to him and the wonderful audience.

-

It was finally the day of your long-awaited party, your best friend helping you get the finishing touches of your make-up on.

"Dude, what was that confession on Jimmy Fallon's show all about?" y/b/f/n inquires. She raises her eyebrows at you as she looks at you through the vanity mirror you were sitting in front of, as she graciously offered to do your hair and makeup. You and her met on a set several years ago, as she was your designated hair and makeup artist, and you two immediately clicked and have been inseparable ever since.

"What, about Pedro?" You rolled your eyes at her playfully, "It's not like he'd ever see it. The man doesn't know I exist." You exclaim, laughing at the foolishness.

Little did you know, that was far from the truth.

"And when he shows up at your party ready to dick you down, what then?" y/b/f/n tosses her hands up in the air, quite frankly fed up with your obliviousness. Your looks were killer and your personality was a ten. She knew any man, no matter the age, would be lucky to have you.

"Y/b/f/n!" You gasped in horror, but something deep inside you ignited with excitement at the thought of that actually happening. It made you squirm a bit in your chair, and you sighed.

"Listen, he may be older, and your crush on him may be projected from your unresolved daddy issues, but make no mistake about it-- you two would be so hot together." She nodded, satisfied with her rhetoric.

You rolled your eyes once more, "I do not have unresolved daddy issues," knowing damn well she was right because in all truthfulness, you did. It's not something you talked about often, if at all, but she knew you too well. "My crush on him doesn't stem from that, at all." You shot back finally, standing up from the chair.

You took one last look in the vanity in front of you, feeling satisfied with the smokey eye look bringing out the color of your eyes in the most sensual way. Your hair was in the most perfect blowout style, framing your lovely features in all the right places. You felt hot.

"Perfect as always, y/b/f/n." You give her a hug, which she graciously returns.

"You know I always gotta slay your looks baby. Now, we're too sober for this shit. Let's get you dressed and let's get fucked up!" She shouts, shaking your shoulders in excitement. You nodded vigorously, ready to celebrate your third decade of being on earth.

-

The party was in full swing and it was packed with some of the most famous faces you've ever seen. If there was a few things y/b/f/n knew how to do, planning and throwing a big party was definitely one of them. You greeted so many people and thanked them for coming, some even bringing presents for you. You felt all the love on your special day, and your best friend made sure of it. You've been working so hard recently, and you needed this to just escape, even if it was for one night.

You were about five shots in at this point, definitely feeling a little tipsy. You were able to hold your liquor well and you knew your limits, so this would be your last one for awhile. You were sipping on a jack and coke, the sweetness of the soda counteracting against the semi-bitter taste of the whiskey. You were standing in a small circle of people that consisted of Oscar Isaac, y/b/f/n, and two other of your co-stars. You were listening in to the group's drunken conversation about TV shows they were currently into, when someone behind you called your name which made you turn your back against the group.

The person wished you a happy birthday with a hug, and you graciously thanked them for coming to the party. That's when you heard the oh-so-familiar voice of the man you've been crushing on for some time now, stopping you dead in your tracks.

There's no fucking way he actually showed up to my party.

Panic started to set in, not wanting to turn around. You felt your whole body get hot, feeling a little woozy.

"Y/n," You heard Oscar's voice call your name, and you swallowed thickly. Fuck. You turn around slowly, trying to keep your cool. Your eyes flickered to y/b/f/n's face, the biggest fucking grin on her mouth. Your eyes moved to Oscar, who was smiling at you with Pedro standing right next to him. Your eyes didn't dare move to Pedro's quite yet. "I want you to meet my best friend, Pedro Pascal. I know you two've never met, so," Oscar trails off, and your eyes snap to Pedro's.

A shy smile spread across your lips, those dark brown eyes making you weak in the knees. You felt like he was literally staring into your soul. Oscar stepped to the side to switch places with Pedro, so he was now standing next to you. His tall stature towered over you, even with you in heels.

"It's nice to finally meet you, y/n," Pedro smiled and stuck out his hand, which you graciously took to shake. You felt electricity surge through your whole body at the touch of his hand, causing you to slightly gasp. Your lips were slightly parted and your breathing became uneven. You shook his hand, finally smiling.

Stop acting like a fucking starstruck weirdo, you scolded yourself in your own thoughts.

"It's nice to meet you as well," You finally squeaked out, "And thank you for coming to my party." A ghost of a smile was on your lips as you tried pulling yourself together. Your eyes scanned over his body as you let go of his hand, causing your mouth to go dry and press your legs together. Luckily you were wearing a floor-length gown, so it wasn't obvious.

He was wearing a dark green suit, which he looked absolutely delicious in. He couldn't seem to keep his eyes off of you, either, because the way your black dress was hugging your curves in all the right places was quite literally enough to send him over the edge.

He cleared his throat and fixed his collar, excusing himself from the group to get a drink. As soon as he walked away, Oscar and y/b/f/n were both looking at you with raised eyebrows and mischievous grins.

"What?" Your voice falters, being a dead giveaway that your interaction with Pedro had you extremely flustered.

"You could feel that tension from across the room. Damn," Oscar laughed, knowing damn well his best friend had the hots for y/n. "Maybe I should've introduced you guys sooner, since you know, he is your celebrity crush after all." Oscar was full on laughing as he teased you, making you retort with a pout.

"Shut up, Oscar!" You roll your eyes, a pout still evident on your lips.

"Maybe he can finally cure y/n's dry spell." y/b/f/n said slyly, and you felt your whole body get hot once again. It's true, you hadn't had sex in months. You blamed it on your busy work schedule, and while half of it was true, you didn't want to blame your illiteracy of flirting or putting yourself out there.

"You bitch! That was supposed to be our secret. Way to put my business out there." You half-joked, and you were only embarrassed because she was telling the truth. Your body craved to be touched so badly, but your right hand really wasn't cutting it for you anymore.

"What'd I miss?" Pedro rejoined the three of you, but he was being coy. He overheard y/b/f/n talking about your... dry spell. He held a glass of whiskey, neat, in his hand, his eyes finding yours once more. You blushed a little as he took a sip of his drink, not breaking eye contact even once.

That single look alone was enough to make your panties wet. God, this man was so hot. Clenching your thighs wasn't going to cut it anymore.

"Just about work and stuff." You answered him while shrugging, looking down at the marble flooring beneath your feet.

"And stuff?" Pedro repeated, more as a question. Oscar and y/b/f/n exchanged glances, that thick tension between you and Pedro returning once again.

"Hey Oscar, come with me to get a drink." y/b/f/n suggested, and Oscar caught on immediately as he held out his arm for y/b/f/n to hook onto. They both disappeared within the crowd, leaving you and Pedro both to your erratic thoughts.

You peered up at him through your thick false lashes your best friend had put on you, not being able to form a single damn word. The affect this man had on you drove you absolutely insane.

He suddenly smiled at you, raising the glass in his hand so it was just below eye level to you. "Happy birthday, cariña. Salud." He cheers you, clinking his glass with yours. This time, both of you took a sip of your drinks without breaking eye contact with each other.

You're not sure if your sudden boldness came from the previous five shots you've taken, or if it was the unbearable tension between the two of you, but you held out your hand for him to take. He looks down, almost immediately lacing his fingers with yours. You felt heat rise to your cheeks from his touch, loving the way his hand felt in yours.

"Do you wanna, maybe, go upstairs?" You ask him in the most confident way you could muster up.

A look of shock flashes through his eyes, but is quickly replaced with lust and desire. He ran his tongue over his bottom lip and gave your hand a slight squeeze. "Lead the way."

Your heart skipped a beat as you nodded, leading in front of him with your hands still intertwined. You knew it was too crowded and people were too drunken to even think of looking for you and Pedro, so you thought this was the perfect opportunity. You lead him up the steps to your bedroom, stopping before the door. You unlaced your fingers from his and opened the mahogany wooden door, stepping inside and he follows suit. You shut the door softly and lock it, just in case.

Your nerves return again as you face him, the full moon beaming into your large-windowed room. The moonlight hit his face perfectly, showing off all of his handsome features.

"So." You began, feeling a bit awkward again. Pedro chuckled at your shyness. He thought it was cute how flustered he made you.

"Do I make you nervous, mama?" He asked, his voice low bedroom voice immediately taking effect. Holy fuck.

You gulped at the pet name, feeling your core heat up even more than it already was. You were pretty sure if he even touched you, you'd orgasm. "Wh-what?" You whisper, losing all of your cool in that moment.

"I said," Pedro steps toward you, towering over you once more, "Do I make you nervous," he leans down to your ear, "mama?"

You couldn't hold it in anymore. You groaned at the pet name, looking up at him pleadingly. He got his answer right then and there, closing the space between the two of you. One of his hands firmly grasped on your hip, the other flush against the small of your back. His brown eyes bored into yours, and you were left wanting, waiting, anticipating.

"Well? What do you want me to do, cariña?" His breath was a mix of mint and the whiskey he was sipping on. He tilted his head, looking at you expectedly.

"Kiss me, please." Your voice was barely above a whisper, but Pedro wasted no time. He closed the distance between you two, finally encapturing your lips with his. You both moan into the kiss, fervor running through the course of your entire being. His kiss was gentle, yet so passionate. Your hands found their way into his hair, tugging slightly which caused him to moan into your mouth. He pulled away from you slowly, cupping one of your cheeks while moving his thumb back and forth, breathing staggered.

Your chest rose and fell rapidly, searching his eyes for any hint that he wanted to stop. There were none.

"Get on the bed," He demands, his eyes watching you as you moved past him and sauntered to your bed, clad in satin sheets. He smirked to himself as he noticed the sheets. "Fancy." He tilts his head toward the sheets, moving to you. You sat upright on the bed, arms straight behind you to hold you up.

He knelt down on one knee and if your dress wasn't on, he'd be eye level with your core. The thought of that made you dripping wet. You bit your lip as he moved his hands to unbuckle the straps of your heels you had on, kissing you right below the inside of your knee on both legs before he dropped your heels to the floor.

He stood up to look down at you, admiring you laid out on the huge bed.

"My god, mama, you're so beautiful." He rasps, unbuttoning his jacket. You quiver at the sound of his voice, becoming more needy as the seconds go by. He moved himself so he could lean over you, one knee between your thighs. He grabs the fabric of your dress from the bottom, sliding the material up your freshly-shaven and lotioned legs. He stops moving the dress up when it was around your hips, and his vision was now met with the black lace thong you had on, which was now soaked. He looks at you for approval, and once you gave him the okay to touch you, he moved his head down between your thighs.

He started to kiss in between your thighs, lightly biting the same spots he kissed which made you yelp in surprise. Pedro smirked at the sound, continuing the journey of his mouth to reach your core. He kissed you through your panties, making you moan loudly. You were glad the doors in your house were heavy and the music downstairs was blasting, because quite frankly you didn't need nosey people knowing you were about to get fucked by one of the hottest men you've ever laid your eyes on.

Pedro moves his hands to hook into the sides of your panties, tapping the sides of your hips. You raise your hips so he can slide them off of your body. He tosses them to the side of him on the floor, grabbing your hips and dragging you to the edge of the bed. He was on his knees at the foot of your bed, mouth salivating as he took the sight of your glistening core in.

"You're this wet and I haven't even touched you yet, cariña. What am I going to do with you?" Pedro was dragging out the teasing, and he knew you wanted his touch so bad. He wasn't helping his case either, because he needed sweet release from his pants that seemed to get tighter around him every minute that passed.

"Fuck me. That's what you should do." You retort, and that was enough to make him lowly growl and move back down between your thighs. He finally kissed your core and started lapping away, his mustache and beard immediately covered by your wetness. His skilled tongue felt heavenly against you. You couldn't help but start writhing once he pulled his tongue away, sliding two fingers into you. He wanted to see you lose it over his touch, and my god, were you the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen.

He moved his mouth back down, lapping you up once more. The sound of him eating you out and your moans, which were getting louder, echoed throughout the room. You felt a burning desire in the depths of your core, knowing you were close to a sweet release.

"'M gonna cum, oh, fuck." You cursed aloud, your legs starting to stiffen.

"That's it mama, just for me," Pedro coaxed you, his fingers moving at an even faster pace, curling inside of you. You convulsed around him on his command, your head spinning as your orgasm ripped through you. You cried out, your thighs pinching together at the overwhelming high you just experienced.

No one has ever made you come like that.

Though you were still shaky, you stood up and reached toward Pedro to unbutton his shirt. You moved the soft material down his toned, tan arms, admiring the view just as he'd done to you earlier.

"You're so handsome." You wrap your hands around the back of his neck, bringing him closer to you. He smiles softly at your compliment, dipping his head down so his lips met yours. You kissed him with all the passion you held, wanting him to know just how much you wanted him without saying a word. You tasted yourself on his tongue and could feel how soaked his beard really was.

You turn him around and gently push him onto the bed. He stares up at you as you slowly take your dress off, letting it pool around your feet on the floor. You didn't happen to be wearing a bra with the dress, so you were now completely naked.

Pedro groaned in lustful agony at the sight of you, resting his forehead on your stomach as he wrapped his hands around the back of your thighs. He kissed your stomach softly, almost pouting when you moved back from him.

"It's my turn to take care of you." You purred, causing his eyes to widen. You pushed his shoulders down gently, but with enough force to assert some sort of dominance.

You loved being a switch and loved the fact that Pedro was letting you be one.

Your nimble fingers move to Pedro's belt buckle, getting it undone in a swift manner. You unbuttoned his pants, moving the zipper down and he immediately lifts his hips so you can get his pants off of him. He moans at the sweet release from his pants, just aching to be touched by you.

You swallowed thickly once more as you looked down at his briefs, his bulge as clear as day. A surge of confidence washed over you, knowing that you turned him on like that.

You reached up to rest one hand by his head, the other one reaching down toward his briefs. You began to palm him, multiple low groans escaping from his mouth.

"Fuck, I need that pretty mouth of yours already." He whimpered, grabbing a fistful of your hair. You finally decided to stop your teasing and relieve him of his misery. Grabbing his briefs in your hands, you pulled them all the way down and tossed them onto the floor with the rest of your guys' clothing. You stared down at the beautiful man in front of you, naked and clearly unafraid. You were basking in the sight, wondering how the hell you even got to this point in the first place.

You gently grabbed him in your hand, pumping his length slowly. Your thumb ran over the tip, making him hiss in pleasure. You smiled at his reaction as you brought the tip of his length to your mouth, kissing it once, then swirling your tongue slowly-- teasingly.

You ran your tongue down the bottom, going slow enough to have Pedro squirming underneath you.

"Please, y/n," He begged, breathless, "I need to be inside that pretty mouth." That was enough to make your bones jump. Hearing him say your name like that made you want to do unspeakable things with this man.

Relaxing your jaw, you took his full length into your mouth, moving your head up and down at a steady pace.

"That's it, mama, right there," Pedro praises, making you moan against him. "Just like that." His voice was strangled, and when you licked a bold stripe up his protruding vein that was on his length, he gripped your hair tighter and let out a loud moan.

"Fuck, you're so good at this," You picked up the pace, using your hand where your mouth couldn't fit. "Fuck, y/n, princess, I'm close." You felt the tip hit the back of your throat, and that sent him completely over the edge. He cried out your name as he came, feeling the warm liquid shoot down your throat.

You swallowed after he was done, wiping a dribble that got onto your chin.

"That was so fucking hot," Pedro looked at you, breathlessly. "C'mere." You moved up to him and he gave you a rather needy kiss.

"On your knees, princess." He smirked, and you did as you were told. He drank in the delicious sight before him-- your ass up, waiting for him to absolutely demolish you. You got butterflies just thinking about how you'd feel around him.

Pedro stood on his knees behind you, kissing the lower middle of your back before smacking your ass. You gasped at the unexpected contact, but that just made your core clench with excitement. He grabbed onto your hips, steadying you as you felt his length rub up against your ass.

"Are you ready, mama?" He coaxed, fingers digging into your hips slightly. You felt yourself tremble with excitement, barely being able to form any words.

"Yes," you're breathless, anxious and needy. Never in a million years did you think this would become your reality.

You felt one of Pedro's hands leave your hip, taking his length into his own hand as he positioned himself to your entrance. He slowly pushed the tip into you, making you gasp with excitement. You couldn't wait any longer, so you pushed your hips back onto him so he fully sank into your heat.

Groans left both of you, you getting used to his length and him getting used to your tightness. You stayed still for a full second to fully adjust to each other, and then he started to move. Really move.

Your breath almost got knocked out from your lungs as he slid backwards, then came back forward full force.

"Fuck," you gasp, gripping onto the satin beneath your fingers. You grit your teeth with how much he filled your wanting, aching heat, hitting just the right angles as he began to thrust even faster. You started to catch onto his rhythm, moving your hips back with force.

The sound of skin on skin slapping harshly rang throughout the room, moans and groans slipping from both of you. Pedro moved his hand, sliding it up the front of your body, finding its way to your neck. He spread his fingers out, so he had a tight grip on either side of your throat.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

He used the hand wrapped around your throat to coax your body upwards, so your back was against his chest. His hot, staggered breaths met your ear, making you moan. He moved his other free hand off of your hip, slipping it between your legs. His fingers started to rub soft circles around your clit, and the stimulation from it all brought back that warm, patronizing heat deep within.

He was absolutely enthralled with the way your body fit so perfectly with him, enjoying the fact that he was going to be the culprit of your undoing soon enough. You just felt so right on him, your pace and movements flowing with him so naturally.

"Fuck, princess, you feel so good," He groans into your ear, his hands simultaneously tightening around your throat and working at your clit faster. You knew you were done for, and all you could do was just let yourself enjoy the ride... literally.

His thrusts started to become sloppy and his breath was so rigid and uneven, he could barely hold on much longer himself.

"Cum for me, mi amor." He groaned, and his voice was enough to tip you over the edge, once more. That white, hot feeling in the pit of your core exploded, ripping through you once more as you moaned his name so loudly, not really giving a fuck if any of the party guests could hear you riding out your orgasm.

He slipped out of you and seconds later, you felt warm liquid spurting onto your backside as a string of profanities left his mouth. You slumped down onto your bed, completely spent and out of breath. You heard him get up from the bed, walking to the left of your room where the bathroom happened to be. He returned shortly after, cleaning up your backside with a towel before laying down next to you.

You peered up at him, brown eyes already looking back at you. He was trying to steady his breath, hand reaching up to move the hair from your face.

"That was," you trailed off, letting your lungs catch up on the air they were lacking, "So fucking amazing." You said timidly, suddenly feeling shy. All that you could think about in that moment was that Pedro Pascal was literally in your bed. What the fuck?

"It was," He chuckled, reaching his hand out to your chin so he could tilt it up, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. "You did so well, mama. So tell me... now that you've been fucked by your celebrity crush, will you go out on a date with him, too?"

Your eyes widen in horror, feeling embarrassed that he actually heard about your confession. You groan and bury your face in your hands, making him chuckle.

"Of course I'll go out on a date with him." You laugh, uncovering your face. He grins, taking one of your hands and kissing the back of it.

You're both so enthralled with each other that you almost don't even hear the knock on your bedroom door.

"Y/n, are you in there? We want to sing happy birthday to you!" Y/b/f/n called through the door, her voice muffled.

"Just a second!" You yell in a panic, scrambling off the bed as you go to pick up your dress. Pedro is slightly amused, watching you slip the long gown back on over your body. He gets up and dressed, only taking a couple of minutes.

"Can you zip me up?" You ask him, turning your back toward him so he can easily access the zipper to your dress. You feel his warm hands trail down your back, sending a shiver down your spine. He zips you up slowly, loving the feeling of your hot skin beneath his fingertips. He kisses your shoulder once you're zipped up, and you turn back around to face him. He looks down at the floor, suddenly noticing your lacy underwear at the bottom of his feet.

He bends down to pick them up, not even bothering to hand them over to you. He stuffs them in the back pocket of his pants, giving you a cheeky grin. He leans down to your ear, pressing a feather-like kiss onto it.

"C'mon birthday girl, let's go celebrate you some more." He whispers, kissing you beneath your ear this time. He spins you around and ushers you to the door after you check your hair and makeup.

You totally look freshly fucked, and quite frankly, so does he. You really didn't care, though, because you were feeling so euphoric at tonight's events altogether.

Best. Birthday Ever.

[pigcowboys]

hcs for percy x child of athena!reader that’s like, badass and super good at fighting/using knives/swords/other weaponry/ in a fight but is like super emotionally closed off?

-bitey anon (if that’s not taken)

pairing: percy jackson x artemis!reader

summary: headcanons for percy with a reader who's a child of artemis.

warning(s): slight mentions of blood, cursing, weapons (even if that even counts lol!), established relationship and sickeningly sweet fluff.

a/n: OMG HELLO BITEY ANON!! its not taken yet!! this is such a cool request i hope you enjoy what i did, sorry it took a moment!! and im so so sorry to anyone who's sent in a request!! i swear i'm trying to finish them all :( life is just..lifeing rn.

requests are currently closed!

okay so first of all i HAVE to talk about the beef percy and artemis must have.

like yo who is this guy? and why is he interested in her child? her only child too.

she's like that one person who's secretly praying on your downfall and really doesn't care if you two know it.

she most likely warmed up to the idea of you two dating over time because, to be honest - she likes percy.

would never say it to his face though, he has a big enough head.

BUT ON TO THE DATING!

hmm percy with a more closed off s/o is kind of hard to imagine.

hes so expressive and open i feel like he'd try his hardest to get his s/o to open up.

would NEVER push you to do anything though - he'd never wanna make you feel uncomfortable, after all.

"good morning my beautiful demi-god, how'd you sleep?" "like a rock., those bed are so fucking hard" "i may have a solution to your problem.."

"percy you've been caught like 6 times trying to sneak into my cabin.." "7th times a charm."

bro he probably fell in love with you the first time he saw you fighting.

you two were probably on some random quest and you had gotten ambushed by a couple of monsters.

he wanted to the boyfriend-y thing and help fend off the monsters so he could impress you.

he was doing great for little till you joined in and started helping him fight as well.

literally could NOT keep his eyes off you, you were so cool!!

he was going to make some really cool and suave quip while you were fighting to see a smile or something when he was hit in the face by a particularly angry monster.

attack sent him flying back a bit - totally made him scuff his shoes.

was happy you were able to finish off the monster that hit him but was slightly embarrassed that he got hit.

though, he did enjoy you feeding him some nectar per his own request.

i think he'd be like obsessed with the way you fight.

i mean, how couldn't he? you look so cool when you're doing all that swinging and slicing..he's so proud of you.

may or may not have been victim of a slice to his cheek from getting to close to you while you were training but seriously doesn't count it as you being reckless - he needed to be more careful.

"holy shit — are you okay?" "uhh..probably..? why is there something on my face?" "i think i..nipped you." "nipped me?" "you're..bleeding." "oh."

percy's a great guy but i feel like he'd also worry like 10x more about you because of you being slightly closed off.

checks in with you like every few minutes even if you've already told him you're okay.

you'd be woken up at like 12 pm from his texts alone.

always calling to make sure you're okay while he's away from camp half-blood on a quest or just hanging out somewhere on his college campus.

you do love that he's so caring!

you just..hate getting that stupid notification sound every few hours.

he'd be crushed if you ever told him that though so, you just deal with it.

honestly i don't think he'd care too much if you were closed off - it's all the same to him!

your aversion to speaking up while not stop him from going out of his way to surprise you with different gifts or with random hugs.

may or may not sniff your clothes slightly when he does hug you.

don't tell him you notice it, he'd die.

"what's that?" "a plushie, for you." "..why?" "didn't you say this was your favorite animal?" "oh..perce.. "

though, i feel like the only time you being closed off would be a problem would be when you two have an argument.

he's very open to hearing your side but hates when you don't let him know you have a problem

how else is he supposed to find a way to help?

overall though, you two would get along just great!!!

invites you out with him after you're done training whenever he can just so he can spend time with you.

doesn't even matter where you two are going.

yeah no, he thinks you're so awesome.

[loousir]

[Gargoyle] Stay Still

Kinktober Day 3: Bathing Them

Male Gargoyle x Male Reader

Danis

Notes/Warnings: New friends to more? (Effectively strangers to lovers) Top reader for this one friends, both reader and Danis are written to be of similar size,

Masterlist

If you like my work, please consider reblogging!

I know it's not October anymore but I'm still gonna post these as I finish them, I wanted to do it so even if it falls into next October or the one after that imma continue it LOL (oh and they're all gonna have the 2023 title image cause I'm too lazy to change it even though I very easily could 🤭)

As the designated statue cleaner, your job was relatively easy but very much enjoyable. Seeing how the once dirty grey stone shows brightly again was always a pleasure. Today was the day you were a bit scared of. Cleaning the gargoyles. Even though you did have safety equipment, the only way to get to the roof to clean then was through a small window that you could barely get yourself through. But once you did, you only had two statues that needed cleaning. While the one on the left you've cleaned before, the right one looked new. You weren't told about the change but didn't mind, seeing as you were just getting paid to do your job over ask questions.

After some careful inspection, you decided to do the left first, knowing it would take longer. You'd rather get the more time consuming one out of the way first. After maybe 20 minutes of you cleaning the statue, it felt as if someone had started to watch you. You really couldn't shake the feeling, a small shiver running up your spine when you looked to the other statue. Did it always have its head turned towards you? As much as you couldn't push that aside, you decided to ignore it for the time.

Once you got about halfway through the cleaning, you decided to take a short break. Even though it felt like you were still being eyed. You couldn't help but look around, making sure you really were the only one up there. With a small sigh, you sat down by the edge, closing your eyes for a moment, letting the breeze cool you off. When you opened your eyes again, the statue that you weren't cleaning had been sitting next you. It took you a second to realize it but once you did you panicked, nearly falling. He was nice enough to catch you, arm wrapping around your waist as he pulled you close.

"Are you ok?" He asked, a bit surprised as well. You blinked, pulling yourself away from the stranger. "I'm sorry if I scared you... I'm not supposed to move from my spot." He said awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck. "The old Gargoyle retired a few weeks ago and I took his place here." You couldn't help but be confused until it clicked. You had basically been giving a living creature a bath. You stared down at your hands in disbelief, realizing you had just been openly touching someone like that. "I'm gonna take it as you didn't know that." He said, making you look back up to him. Now that you're getting a good look at him, he was stunning, especially in comparison to the other, weathered stone statue.

"So you would have just been ok with me touching you all over?" You asked, looking up to him. He would definitely be blushing right now. "I-I mean... I would have had to be..." He said softly, glancing away for a moment before looking back to you. "Its part of my job after all." He said with a small chuckle, sitting down next to you properly. You couldn't help but blush, thinking that he would have just accepted the fact that you would basically grope him all over while cleaning. And you'd have been none the wiser. "Well... I uh, still need to finish the job..." You said softly, deciding to go back to cleaning the, hopefully, non living statue. The Gargoyle looked back to you for a moment before getting close to you again.

"Can I watch you?" He asked, already doing what he asked as you got back to it. "Sure..." Your tone was a bit awkward but you didn't really mind having someone interested in what you do. "Oh, I'm Danis by the way." He said, not holding his hand out to shake since you were already focused back on your cleaning. You introduced yourself to him as well before getting quiet. His gaze was soft as he watched you clean the intricate detailing on the statue he always stood proudly next to. Since Danis was pretty good at not moving for a while, he had watched you the whole time. With a soft sigh, you sat back, looking it over to make sure you hadn't missed a spot.

Danis, rather than focusing on the statue, turned his attention to you. He thought you were beautiful. He loved how focused you were on your job, relating to you on that level. "So um... Will you have to clean me next?" He asked, eyes showing he was a little flustered about asking that question. You definitely flushed at the question, looking up to him, then away. "I... Probably should. I don't wanna get a pay cut... Kinda need the money..." You said softly, forcing yourself to think of him as just a statue. "Just stay still." You said, grabbing your tools to start cleaning him as well. "You're ok with it right?" Danis nods. "I wouldn't have asked if I wasn't." He said softly. "Should I stand or lie down or?" Danis was trying his best to make sure you were comfortable over himself. "Stand. I'll start with the back first." You said as he quickly stood up.

You decided to start with his wings, stretching them out as you worked on them. Even though his skin looked like stone, it was actually quite smooth rather than the usual porous surface. As you worked your way down, you could see his wings and back twitching. "Sorry, does that tickle?" Danis just nodded, dropping his head forward to try and tough it out. In reality, the gentleness from your touch was getting him excited. It had been a while since he had any intimate moments so you could say he was a bit touch starved. Of course, you didn't realize what you were doing to him and continued on.

You worked your way down his other wing, starting again at his neck, moving down his broad shoulders. The way the occasional water droplet rolled down his back was a sight to see. His back was muscular, something that most definitely helped him keep still. "So well sculpted..." You mumbled out, continuing down under his wings and to his lower back. Danis' wings twitched at the comment, making you raise a brow. "You ok?" You asked, still getting lower but stopping just above his ass. Danis turned his face to you, brows and eyes giving away what he was feeling. "I uhm... You're kind of making me excited..." He admitted, too nice to lie to you. Your cheeks flushed again at the comment and you stood up. "W-we can stop of you want. I'll just take the pay cut, it's no big de-mph!" Danis had turned around and cut you off, shaking his head.

"No! I, ah, sorry..." He said softly, taking his hand away from your mouth. "If... If it's ok with you, I want to keep going." He said, looking to you with a gentle gaze. You could only stare at him for a moment, thinking about what to do. "Okay." You said, placing your hands on his shoulders to straighten his posture. "Then should we continue from the front?" You asked, making Danis look away. He would absolutely be bright red right now. Danis nods softly, making sure to keep his arms out of the way as you started to clean again. You started at his defined collarbone, moving down to his smooth chest and stomach, subtle abs showing. He held back a giggle at the feeling of the brush near his belly button.

"Bit ticklish there too?" You asked, making him cover his mouth and nod as you got closer and closer to his 'problem'. "Y-you can just skip over that part..." He said, referring to the spot you were inching ever closer. "I mean, if it's ok with you I could help take care of it." You softly suggested, not forcing him into anything. "I-I uhm..." He tried to stutter out an answer but just ended up nodding. You took his yes and gently ran the soft brush along his length, teasing the tip once you reached it. He shivered and covered his mouth again. "F-fuck..." The gentle moans he was trying to hold back slipped through, making you smile up to him. "You like this spot?" You asked, teasing his tip again as he shivered, letting out a weak but muffled moan.

Danis could only nod, letting the pleasure run through his body. "Just keep it quiet... We don't wanna get caught..." You said, teasing his cock again, this time with your finger. Danis let out a broken moan as he nodded. "Oh-ohkay..." He panted out softly. You added another finger and a thumb, gently stroking his throbbing shaft. "Shit... I-ah!" Danis was suddenly overwhelmed as an unexpected orgasm made him tremble. Thanks to your position, kneeling in front of him, you got first class seats to the show, watching as his cock twitched, unloading what looked like to be years of build up. You licked your lips, tasting him as he came down from his high. Realizing what he did, he was quick to kneel down with you, frantically trying to wipe the cum off your face.

You couldn't help but chuckle, sticking your tongue out to lick his thumb when it brushed over your lips. It only made Danis flush more. "Let me finish cleaning you, and maybe we can continue this... Not, on the roof." You purred, giving him a lustful gaze, only making him all the more shy. "O-Ok..." He mumbled out, pulling his hands away to let you continue.

"I think we'll be good friends..."