#even when theres so many other dramatics going on

[sunlightnmoonshine]

It's very interesting that queen of tears is playing so hard into the "these characters were born to love each other" notion. It's repeatedly empathised (and although in a comedic vein) by haein and hyunwoo and in their inability to let each other go no matter how hard things get. At the same time with the flashbacks to how they were each other's first loves and how the osts really point to the two of them being the "one" for each other, it really speaks to how much these characters were meant to be in each other's lives, essentially soul mates, destined to be together.

What's refreshing though is that they said okay you two might be soul mates but that doesn't mean your relationship doesn't take work and that you are going to drift so far apart that it's going to feel like love no longer exists between the two of you. They said hey, being destined for each other and having to still put in the effort to make your relationship work are not mutually exclusive and should never be because that's not how the real world works. But hey, put in the effort, talk, listen, learn, and grow and you'll see why you two were born to love each other.

[orcelito]

I do love how every single piece of writing I've done has been copy-pasted from discacc. As in I figured out the document formatting I wanted to do, forgot what it was, and have just copy pasted bits of text from one doc to another when starting smth new. Not necessarily copying from discacc every time, but it was the first.

All my fics lead back to discacc

[hellfiremunsonn]

Something About Her. Steve Harrington x Reader

Something About her.

I DO NOT ALLOW MY WRITING TO BE REPUBLISHED ANYWHERE OTHER THAN MY OWN BLOG WITHOUT MY CONSENT

Summary: Steve is kind of obsessed with you, and you're kind of obsessed with him. Only ever watching from afar until a fight breaks out at the party you're both at.

18 + IF YOU ARE NOT 18 OR OLDER DO NOT READ OR INTERACT WITH MY WRITING. IT IS NOT INTENDED FOR MINORS. I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CONSUME.

Warnings: fem!reader, physical altercation, reader gets backhanded by homophobic male character, brief mention of blood, forehead gets slightly cut, reader has a vagina, sex but not sex? No penetrative sex, fingering, Steve is called a f***** and a queer in a derogatory sense by a homophobic character at the party. (I will star it out anyway just incase any of you are uncomfortable with that) (IF THERES ANYTHING I MISSED LET ME KNOW)

AN: Real quick, I don't condone using homophobic slurs towards anyone ever. This is not ME saying these things, it is a CHARACTER in the 80's saying those things. I myself am Queer so... ya know... I get it. NOT REALLY PROOF READ FOR MISTAKES JUST FOR THE VIBES (Huge thank you to my bby @rowanswriting for giving this a read through for me to make sure it wasn’t absolute garbage! love u <3)

Wordcount: 4k

Steve doesn't know when his fascination with you started, but he knows that once it did start he couldn't stop it. Anytime he was out at a party he was always looking for you. Subtly over the rim of his red cup, filled with whatever concoction that would get him buzzed the quickest. Personally he doesn't think it's stalking, because he doesn't follow you around any other time, but when he knows you're around, he's going to keep an eye out for you. Robin on the other hand, definitely thinks it's stalking and will make it a point to tease Steve about it whenever she can.

He's only talked to you a couple of times and the two of you wouldn't even consider each other friends but for some reason he always had to have an eye on you, and you always had an eye on him. 

Robin would constantly poke into his side and whispering about his "obsession" with you but he would just push her off and roll his eyes. Because someone as pretty as you would never look at him the same way. You were ethereal; Steve might actually believe it if you were from another world, considering he's had his fair share of experience of things that you'd think didn't exist.

He knows you watch him too. Praying you don't think it's weird for catching your eye one too many times, but being constantly enamoured by the way you move and speak, how you captivate everyone around you yet you're completely unaware of it. 

Robin decides that after watching the two of you eye fuck each other six more times that she's going to help. She skips over to you and you greet her with one of the brightest smiles he's ever seen.  The two of you talking together has four hands flying around with the dramatics of whatever story it is the pair of you have begun discussing and he's honestly surprised neither of you have hit one another in the face.

Steve still, stands with his back plastered against the wall, trying to ignore the dull thumping bass of whatever shitty music was playing, focusing hard on the way your lips moved, trying to get any sense at what you were saying. It takes him a minute to realize it's Robin you're talking to and he's more confused, zoning in on the way your tongue darts out to lick across your strawberry pink lips when he's interrupted from his thoughts by some beefy drunk, boy from high school trying to relive his glory days as he stumbles past him. 

He looks at Steve, looks at robin, and then back to Steve. He snickers "Damn Harrington, can't even get Robin to stick around with you? Maybe you are as queer as she is" he sways as he passes Robin and you. Robin freezes, before slowly looking back to Steve, praying tonight wasn't going to end with Steve beating someone up. Again. 

"Hey" Steves voice is loud, angry, startling almost everyone, despite how loud the music was. 

"Say what you want about me, but don't say shit about Robin alright?" Steve warns.

The drunken asshole makes his attempt to saunter up to Steve, getting far too close to his face before speaking "Or what pretty boy? Gunna get your boyfriend to come save you?" 

Steve can feel the hot air of his breath in his face, it reeks so badly of alcohol it almost smells like hand sanitizer. "Get lost man" Steve says shaking his head turning away from him, trying to distract himself from the prying eyes by above everyones heads, sipping his drink. 

What Steve doesn't notice is how ridged you've become and how hard your fists are shaking where they are clenched at your sides. 

He laughs, thinking he's won whatever show it is he's putting on for everyone and goes to leave before turning back to Steve. "F****t can't fight his own battles, what a pussy"

Before Steve can even fully turn around you've pushed past robin and are standing in front of the drunk, arm pulled back before your tiny fist makes contact with the dudes face. "What's your problem!" You yell.  Steve has never heard your voice so loud before. "You homophobic piece of shit? What decade were you born in saying shit like that?" Your hand hurts, like really bad, but you're too prideful to let him see you cry. No one is going to say shit like that about anyone around you, let alone Robin, or Steve. 

"Fucking bitch" he spits, blood filled saliva hitting the white tiled floor beneath your feet. His hand raises quick, and without a second thought he lands a single smack across your face with the back of his hand, and then walks away. You involuntary gasp at the impact, while the rest of the party goers shout and follow him but you can barely hear over the ringing in your ears, but you hope they beat the shit out of him outside. You feel a drip of blood form and start to slide down your face from where his large class ring made contact with the skin just above your eyebrow. Your hand trembles as it reaches up to touch the warm liquid before bringing your hand down to see your blood covered finger tips. 

When you look up, blurry faces stand around you, and they're all speaking at once, you're unsure where to look, or who to respond to when someone gently takes your hand, pulling you with them upstairs and away from the chaos below. Only when the click of the bathroom door locks do your senses start to come back and you realize you're standing in front of Steve Harrington and that tears had begun rolling down your cheeks.

At the same time you both blurt out "Are you okay?" and Steve laughs in amusement. 

"Am I okay? I'm not the one who sucker punched someone twice her size and is bleeding from her head!" he exclaims. He laughs again before muttering an "Oh shit" Grabbing at the nearest hand towel and running it under the faucet. "Come here, sit" he says patting the countertop. You watch him with wide doe eyes, pupils blown from the adrenaline coursing through you, but still you listen, slowly and a little robotically you lean against the counter, Steves large hand holding the side of your waist to help as you hop up onto the counter. He's talking, but you don't really hear him so instead you focus on watching him as he moves around the bathroom, finding things to help with the tiny wound on your forehead. 

He dabs the damp towel against your forehead quickly and abruptly. You wince and pull back, your two hands coming up to hold his wrist in place. 

"I'm sorry, shit, are you okay? I should have warned you first" 

"I'm sorry that guy said that" you say finally finding your voice, it's shaky and a little croaky but it's there. 

"Don't be, I've heard worse" he smiles and you let go of his wrist signalling to him that he can continue and so he does. "S'not so bad of a cut, just bled a lot cause it's on your head"

You laugh a little, and the relief Steve feels when he hears it skyrockets. "You've got quite the arm on you, more guys like him should be afraid of you"

You laugh again. "I've had some practice" you shrug and sniffle, pretending to play it cool. 

"Oh yeah? You beating up guys in the alleyways behind bars? Lemme see those guns" he pesters, lifting up the arm you used to throw your punch, and you flex it proudly. The muscle bulging and Steve gives it a squeeze. 

He wolf whistles. "Wow-ee that's some A plus muscle right there" he teases but short circuits when you look up at him. Mascara smudged just under your eyes from where the tears overflowed, cheeks rosy with a blush or from the adrenaline, he can't tell but his hand comes up to hold the side of your face anyway and he does everything he can to hold himself together when he feels you lean into his touch. 

"You're so pretty" he blurts, feeling the heat of your cheek under his palm when he says it. 

"So are you" you whisper. You can feel the trembling starting to begin in your bones as the adrenaline wears off, your body finally attempting to come down from the earlier altercation. Steve notices at the first twitch of your shoulder. 

"S-sorry" you stutter through your teeth as they begin to chatter along with the rest of your body. 

"Stop apologizing for things you can't control" he says taking your hands and placing them on the sides of his waist. He doesn't mean for it to be forceful or sexual when he does it, but his one hand comes between your legs and pushes them apart by your knees, positioning himself between them. "Here, hug me, it'll help with the shakes" He pulls you into him and you're thankful for the tightness of his arms around around you. You sigh into him, feeling the slightest bit of tension leave your shoulders. Steve notices and slides one hand to the back of your neck, pushing in just slightly at the base, massaging it until he feels your shoulders start to slump.

The groan that leaves you was almost pornographic, and Steve has to calm himself down immediately or you might be able to feel how much that little noise had affected him. Steve tried really hard, he did, but he's standing between your legs and you're so close to him that he knows if he shifted just a little you'd feel his dick press into your stomach. 

When the shaking starts to stop you lean back from him, head tilted up towards him but your eyes stay closed. Your hands still stationed on his hips, and Steve doesn't stop his fingers where they massage the base of your neck. 

"That feels really good" you sigh, eyes flitting open lazily. 

"Good" Steve says with a smile, his opposite hand coming up to push your hair back behind your ear. He watches as your eyebrows furrow slightly. 

"What's wrong?"

"N-nothing" you lie. It's the adrenaline. It's like when you come down from a really big cry, and your body doesn't know what to do with all the feelings so it sends them between your legs, making everything in you ache for someone to touch you, for Steve to touch you. You shift on the counter, legs instinctively trying to close, the rough fabric of his jeans rubbing against the insides of your thighs, teasing you. 

Steve can feel your heartbeat pick up from where his fingers are still pressed against your skin, and he's watching you with curious eyes. He can sense it, he knows, but he wont make a move unless you initiate it, anything, even if it's subtle. But you have to be the one to start it. With one too many run in's with the end of the world, Steve knows that sometimes when the adrenaline wears off the only thing you want to do is fuck.

"Is it your head?" He asks "Does it hurt?"

"It's not my head" you say as you shake it. "It hurts a little b-but I'm okay, really"

Steve hums, his pressing touch moving from your neck and you have to stop yourself from whimpering at the loss. 

"Look at me" he says and you do, eyes darting back and forth between his. "I just wanna make sure you don't have a concussion" he widens his stance, sliding his feet outwards until he's just about your height from where you sit, his big warm hands come up and cup either sides of your face while he assess you.

A loud crash followed by laughter startles the two of you jump slightly. Your hands grip onto Steves waist harder and he's moved forward so now the two of you are pressed together, and he can see it in your face when his stubbornly hard dick makes contact with you.

"Steve?" you say quietly, and he's already preparing an apology in his head. "Um I know we don't really know each other" You swallow thickly. "But um" you trail off, glancing to your hands and where they rest, thumbs slipping past the hem of his shirt, touching the warm skin of his belly. He inhales sharply, and you look at him mesmerized. 

"Are you sure you're not concussed?" he questions "Or did that guy really hit me instead and I'm unconscious having a wonderful dream right now?"

You giggle and his cock strains in his jeans. 

"I don't wanna have sex with you though" you say quickly. "I mean now, right now, I definitely want to have sex with you, I just, not in a bathroom at a party? I wanted to- shit" You scrunch your eyes closed and take a breath before looking back at him. "I wanted to ask you on a date first"

"You wanted to ask me? Me on a date?" Steve says quietly. 

You nod, tucking your bottom lip between your teeth. So shy, yet so brave.

'I'm fucked' He thinks. 'I'm going to fall in love with her'

"C-can, we um, can we touch each other? Is that okay?" your hands hold him a little tighter and his stomach tenses. 

"Y-yeah, please, can I kiss you?" he asks desperately and you nod, your hands finally reaching up to cup his face. He grabs you by the hips and slides you closer to the edge of the counter, your old converse hitched on the sides of his waist, pressed against his brown leather belt. Your crotch now pressed against his jean covered cock, and he realizes you've been wearing a dress the entire time he's been stood between your legs, and only now has caught a glance at the pretty pink panties you wear. 

You whimper when he kisses you. His lips soft and plump just like you had thought they would be, and the tiny groan he lets out goes straight to your cunt and your hips jump ever so slightly. You kiss each other feverishly, sloppy and quick. Every kiss, every smack of your lips, every move of his tongue has your stomach flipping and your hips rolling into him. He's grinding into you without a single care, he could cum like this and wouldn't dare be embarrassed about it when you look like that under him. How could he not. 

He does almost bust his load immediately when your hands go for his belt, quickly unbuckling it and tugging at the button and zipper until it's all the way down. He breaks the kiss to watch you do it. 

"Is this okay?" you ask, fingers dipped into the waistband of his boxers.

"You could do anything you want with me right now and I wouldn't care" He jokes. "So yes this is more than okay"

"Can you touch me too?" You ask with your baby Bambi eyes and god Steve nearly loses it. How can you ask him something so dirty but make it sound so sickly sweet. 

"God, yeah, of course I can sweet thing" he says sliding his hands up your thighs until he's under the hem of your red dress, it's covered in dainty little white flowers, and he thinks it looks perfect on you. He searches for the band of your panties before tugging at them until you shift, letting him slide them out from under you until they're dangling off your right ankle that is still stationed on his hip. 

His fingers slide easily through your slick and he groans. "Fucking christ"

You giggle again, sighing when he grazes your clit and your knees instinctively try to lock together.

"It's taking everything in me not to bury my face in your cunt right now Jesus Christ, look at her" he praises, watching his shiny fingers and the way they move against you, the way your hips twitch to meet them. 

"Her?" you ask.

"Your pussy babe" he says obviously.

Your entire body engulfs in heat, and you can't tell if you're embarrassed that he's talking about your pussy like it's a person, or if it's turning you on even more. 

"O-Oh my god" you say, your words slipping into a moan mixed with a gasp. Head tilting back until it hits the mirror behind you. 

"Jesus baby, let's keep your head intact alright?" he jokes, pulling you into him with one hand, placing it protectively on the back of your head as you bury your face into the crook of his neck while his finger traces your entrance. Your brain buzzes with electricity and you forget that just seconds before you were tugging at Steves jeans, but then he touched you. 

He circles your hole a few times, before easily sliding one of his fingers into you. You whine, open mouth, almost drooling where your mouth hovers against Steves skin. He leans back slightly, chin touching his chest to catch a glimpse at you to make sure the noise he heard come out of you wasn't a sob. But the thought of you crying because of his fingers? He can't imagine what it would be like to have you and your pussy crying on his cock.

"Feel good?" He teases. 

"So good" You moan, lifting your head from his neck, staring down to watch his finger curl into you. Forcing yourself to look away to continue your attention to his jeans. Hands shaky has they slip his belt through the loops, pulling at the button of his jeans and tugging the zipper down. You try your best to push his pants down enough to get your hand in so you can finally feel his cock but he's distracting. 

"F-fuck" you mewl, and it's high pitch and girly, and if you were alone you'd cringe at the sound. 

"Need some help?" Steve offers, stopping his movements and slowly removing his fingers from you, shiny and slick as he helps you to free his aching cock. 

"Thank you" you whisper. Once his cock is free you wrap your hand around him, thick, hot and heavy in your palm and he groans, tilting his head back a little before reaching a hand up to tap your cheek, ripping your gaze away from your hand to his eyes. 

"Open" hes looking down at you through his lashes, cheeks flushed a perfect pink and his chest moves quickly while you continue to jerk him off. You listen, opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out and Steve huffs out a laugh as he slowly slides his two fingers into your mouth. The ones that were just buried in your cunt. You lap at them greedily, body buzzing from the approval when Steves hums in delight, head tiling to watch your mouth. 

You pull his fingers from your mouth with gasp. "I have an idea"

Steve raises a brow as you push forward until you slide off of the counter, turning around so your ass is how facing him, both of you looking at each other through the reflection of the mirror. Watching you as you lean your hips against the counter, pulling him towards you by his belt until he's almost touching you. Reaching behind you, you take his cock into your hand, stepping onto your tippy toes until its slid between your thighs, pressed against your leaking pussy. 

"Fucking without fucking" you say with a smile. Your hand presses lightly against him so the tip of his cock stays connected to you while Steve moves his hips. 

Sliding through your folds over and over as he mimics how he'd snap his hips against you if he were able to fuck you properly. It's probably the hottest things Steve has ever done with anyone, and he knows that he will think about this every single day until the day he dies, and he's absolutely content with that. 

His hands move to your hips, where he grips you tightly. Your dress sliding up with each thrust until the swell of your ass is exposed before him. Rippling with each thrust against his lower half, and he tries to stop himself, he does, but he can't. He lets his palm come down on your right cheek, a little harsh, and goes to apologize but the way your knees shake, and the moan that slips out from you tells him you liked it. 

"M'so c-close Steve" you force out. Your cheek is pressed against the cold marble top of the counter, and you're pretty sure you're drooling onto it but you couldn't care less with how good Steve is making you feel. "Steve I-" You can barely keep your legs up, but your trying. 

"Help" you whimper, and Steve knows what you need immediately. Wrapping a large arm around your waist, holding up most of your weight while still snapping his hips. 

"I got ya pretty girl" he mumbles into the skin of your shoulder. 

"Are you gunna cum Stevie?" You moan, silently begging he's as close as you are. 

"So close" he grunts. "Wanna see that face of yours when you cum, can you do that for me?" He asks sliding his hand into your hair until he's got a tight grip on the roots, tugging gently to instruct you to lift your head up. He doesn't want to be too rough with you just yet, not when you haven't properly been able to have that conversation. 

Lifting your head with his direction until you're forced to look at yourself and Steve in the mirror. He looks so pretty, face flushed, mouth slightly agape, his bottom lip slick with saliva. You could cry at how pretty he was. 

"Steve, Steve, st-eve, I'm gun-NAH!" you cum hard, all over your hand and his cock. Thighs trembling. 

"Fuck you're so hot" Steve mutters. "Gunna cum sweetheart where do-"

"On me, please I want it on me" You say almost frantically. Steve turns your around, helping you sit back up onto the counter so your legs are spread and he's stationed between them. Pumping his cock fast, the noise crude as it echos around the bathroom, slick with your arousal. 

"Fuck, fuck baby" Steve says through gritted teeth.

And you're smiling, and nodding, eyes glassed over and so fucked out, and he thinks he might marry you seeing the way you want him, and his cum so badly. He loses it when your hand joins his around him with those final few pumps, and his cum shoots across your stomach dripping down your connected hands to the base of his cock. 

He's panting and smiling, and trying to hold back a laugh, watching the way his cum drips down your body, down between the crease where your thigh meets hip, lazily flowing down to join the mess between your legs. 

You giggle, bottom lip tucked between your teeth as you wait till Steve finally looks up at you. 

"You're insane" he laughs, grabbing your face with both hands and kisses you quick. 

"Only a little" you say between kisses. "Take me home?" you ask bravely. 

"Anywhere" Steve says quickly. he tugs his jeans back up, stuffing himself back into his pants, and adjusts his belt. You hop down from the counter and attempt to fix your hair so it looks a little better. Kicking one foot up behind you, you tug your panties off your ankle and turn to face Steve, shoving them into the front pocket of his jeans. Steve swoons at the sly look in your eyes, and the way you didn't even attempt to clean his cum off of you when the two of you turn to leave the quiet confines of the bathroom.

You giggle again when he interlocks his fingers with yours, letting him pull you along through the sea of people and out onto the front lawn down the street and only a few blocks away until you reached Steves house. 

"Yeah"  Steve thought. "I'm gunna marry her"

thanks for reading! <3

[imagine-shenanigans]

sighs dramatically.

Okay but the ghost distribution system as we call it is hysterical but can we tlak about how None Of The 141 are built to date.

Like, sure, Gaz is great at flirting, and he's charming, but DATES? He's the type who asks you on a date because he thinks youre pretty/handsome/adorable/etc but by the time the two of you actually go on a date he's ready figured out like. the whole rest of your lives together. He's already imagined up 20 different scenarios of different dates, stalked your front-facing social media and found your secret or hidden accounts that theoretically don't link back to you. Sure, he's scrounged through your discord servers and your private messages and texts and a thousand other things while he was bored on leave. He knows enough to know that he's happy with what comes next. All dates are simply... ritual at this point? Something obligational, other than the fact he gets to spend time with you.

You're not going anywhere, he's just the least heavy handed of them, the one who'll let you think its your choice to keep him around until he's got his ring officially on your finger. Life won't go according to plan but he's prepared for that too. In his head, you're already married anyway, he's just working his way up to that part. He'll manufacture any scenario to keep you with him, because he wants you to be. And he'll make sure you want to be too.

Soap on the other hand is WAY less tactful about it. He's charming, and he'll take you on dates, sure, but the moment he spots you it's incredibly easy to get obsessed. He immediately drops an arm around you, purring in your ear and talking to you. Doesn't ask you on a date so much as demands it, puts his number in your phone and presses a kiss to your temple, his fingertips squeezing your chin before you leave. God forbid you let him into your home - he'll never leave if you do. Johnny's SUCH a physical guy that while, yes, personality matters, it seals the deal for him the moment he's got his tongue down your throat and his fingers in your pants. Something about the way you settle in against him makes him feel like he's home, and you will never get rid of him.

He's willing to take you on dates if you need more proof, but he won't even pretend like he doesnt already have a copy of your key. Like he's not telling the guys about the bonnie little thing he's going home to - he slips into your apartment/house/etc and into your bed without changing, barely finding time to slip his boots off. Presses one hand to your mouth and just... holds you. He'll fuck you within an inch of your life later when you're less panicked, sure, but he just wants to press his nose to your neck and breathe you in. If his hips rut against your ass, ignore it for now. (Haha... unless? No? okay in a minute then)

Price is just as manipulative as Gaz can be, just as charming as Soap and Gaz too. But he just... doesn't care, just like Simon. There's a reason so many people have Price with like... mail order bride or a "one day you look up and hes your husband" scenario and thats because he's good at what he does. And by that I mean being a husband and pumping you full of kids whether or not its physically possible. (Btw check out Ceil's mail order bride western au its good shit, or Bo's Kingpin Price drabbles, makes me lose it every time.)

He sees you walking about and the MOMENT you do anything remotely domestic - pick up a neice/nephew/babysitting kid/etc and put em on your hip? Rock hard. play peekaboo with a baby across from you at a cafe? pick up after yourself just to be polite to the waitress? he's already stalking you on multiple platforms theres no goddamn way youre getting away from him. He'll figure out where you go in your free time and insert himself there as naturally as possible. He's not particularly hiding what he's doing either - he likes to test you, to see if you notice things missing or moved. If you do, he'll be a little more cautious, use it as reason to drive you into hsi arms. If you don't he jsut views it as all the more reason to take you away - poor thing, you just can't help yourself can you? You're lucky nobody else has got their claws around you, hm?

[mokkkki]

the way you write is so beautiful... tips for somebody new to writing who wants to write like you?

YOU are so beautiful, thank you so much! im not sure about any tips i have, but ill give it a shot. these are what i personally believe to have been the most important things:

find your wavelength my writing became a lot more stylized and personalized after i found an author that i resonated with, as well as a couple of themes. it just helps to know what you are actually interested in writing in, versus what you think other people would like to read. im personally interested in writing about relationships and dynamics, so my writing will always be more character than action driven. also, it helps, because youre always going to end up writing what you want to write, even in the smallest of ways, so why not embrace it fully? write what you want to read. otherwise, you wont have fun. and writing is SO MUCH FUN. knowing what youre into and what youre trying to channel gives you a really strong basis for all of your writing - not only will it take time for you to find your wavelength, meaning that youll have to expose yourself to many different genres and authors, which is a must, youll always be able to look back at that ONE creative piece and grab some motivation from it.

expose and explore creativity is everywhere - tv shows, movies, books, fanfics, comics, art, architecture, history (!!!), mythology, sports, reality - literally everywhere you can think of. dont wait for inspiration because its everywhere if you look hard enough. familiarize yourself with the seven basic plots, the thirty-six dramatic situations, basic foreshadowing elements, and other essentials. this isnt something to study or memorize, just to KNOW - its good to be aware of the foundations of literature.

embrace the brainrot and maintain a balance become obsessed w your own ocs, your own plots, your own everything. be your own biggest fan. to enter an abusive relationship with your own work is extremely upsetting, because youre doing wrong by the wonderful world youve made, and doing wrong by that part of you that just wants to be creative, too - and if that happens, its probably because you arent writing what you want to write, or controlling what doesnt want to be controlled. let your characters be individuals, let them go where they want to go, just follow and note what theyre doing. sometimes writing is a passive activity rather than active creation, and thats okay! thats when you know youve built a solid world that can run by itself and you just contribute to. that being said, while theres nothing quite like the hours spent ravenously typing, you need to find a balance. you are as important as your work, because without you, the work wouldnt exist. i also reccomend forcing yourself NOT to write on specific days. some ideas need to marinate, and some people need to rest.

i hope this was helpful &lt;;3 if you ever need more help (and this also applies to those reading), feel free to reach out! im open to being a beta reader or just a brainstorming partner. lots of love!

[pinkandlilacroses]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Angel - Paige bueckers

part 1

• summary {when an unsuspecting girl falls for the basketball star}

•warnings {none (for now)}

•comment if you would like to be added to the taglist

bellas pov

“Im just saying, a rom com romance would be fantastic tight now” I state to my best friend, Avery. “i mean everyday is the same thing over and over” i continue. I can tell she doesn’t care, Avery’s been in a relationship with her high school sweetheart, Jake since freshman year.

“you need to stop being desperate” she says scooting closer to me on our couch.

this may sound rude, but thats just how Avery is, ane i guess ive gotten used to it

“nobody understands me” i say dramatically as i get up and walk towards my room.

“remember, we are going out tonight” Avery yells

fuck. i forgot.

i hate going out, theres to many people

i feel like sometimes Avery relyes on me, i mean sometimes i wanna hang out with other people, not just her. Avery on the other hand, im her only friend and i understand why, i love her but she is so mean to any and everyone that she comes across.

a few hours pass and i begin getting ready. i put on a matching pink set with a tube top and a mini skirt, i feel cute, i cant wait for this to get ruined by a bunch of drunk, sweaty college students.

i know i take a while to get ready, i mean its taken me two hours to pick my outfit and do my hair and i haven’t even started my makeup yet. my excuse is that you can never rush perfection.

“bella cmon we gotta go” Avery yells, ‘how is she ready so early’ i think to myself, finishing my coat of mascara.

“ok, ok, im ready” i say 20 minutes later. i can tell shes pissed, but it doesn’t bother me.

“your so dramatic, its a 5 minute walk” Avery says, annoyed, as always.

“i am not made for walking”

its only been 5 minutes since our arrival and i want to leave

“hey baby” a clearly drunk guy says, while he slyly brings his hand to my bare waist.

“who are you” i say, bluntly

“hey loosen up princess” he says, getting closer

i do like that nickname. but i hate him.

“im gonna go now”

i dont know if im straight, to be honest. i was raised in a household where anything but straight was a sin, so i never really questioned my interests. but whenever i see a girl who is tall and strong, my straightness goes out the window, and i feel like im sinning. ive never done anything with a girl before and im scared, i dont know if i ever would.

i walk away from the drunk man and towards the bar

“oh my god im so sorry” ‘fuck. why am i so clumsy’, i say to the girl i bumped into

“nah your all good” she says, looking down at me

i hadn’t looked at her, but now that i am. i never wanna stop. shes tall and blonde.

“hi, im paige” she says, breaking my admiration.

“im bella” i say, shamelessly checking her out

she has on grey sweatpants and a black tshirt. hot.

“do you go here” she says, continuing the conversation.

“uh, yeah, im a junior” i say, stuttering. why am i stuttering

“are you nervous?” she says, bringing her face closer to my own. yes, i am so nervous, you make me so nervous, ohmygodohmygodohmygod

“no” i say, unconvincingly.

“you sure?” she questions again. im not ok

“your on the basketball team, right?” i say, attempting to shift the conversation

she chuckles

“yeah” she states, moving back to her original position, further away from me. come back

“have you heard of me” she says, cockily

“i think everyone has here” i say, to be honest, i dont know anything about basketball. but ive heard of her before and her eyes have me trapped, there so blue and inviting.

what am i saying

“i wanna know more about you though” she whispers, moving closer than before.

“what do you wanna know” i say wrapping my arms around her neck. i dont know where all this confidence has came from

“yo paige” some girl says, she turns around and breaks the position we were in.

“iceee” she says, dapping up her teammate

im offended.

i make my way from her and towards my friend group. i want to go home

“was that you flirting with paige bueckers”

“we were just talking, shes not interested”

“girl, paige would be interested in a tree if it had a pussy, she is definitely interested” chanel says

everyone laughs. but me

im confused, why am i attracted to her, i like men, not women.

“bella cmon, lets get you home” Avery says, i mentally thank her from saving me from this conversation.

i tuck myself into bed after taking my outfit and makeup off and get ready for my favourite activity. sleep, until.

xxx-xxx-xxx

- hey is this bella?

what the fuck. do i have a stalker

bella

- yes

xxx-xxx-xxx

- hahah thank god

- this is paige

what the fuck

A/N - first fic, how do we feeeelllllllll

[kindaasrikal]

Kai headcanons because I’m tired and cant think of anything else:

Kai both does and doesn’t have a concept of monetary value. Like imagine they go grocery shopping and they need to buy essentials like ingredients, veggies, hygiene stuff to stock up on. Like usually whenever the other ninja went with their families they were able to buy some extras like candy or toys, maybe some more clothes despite having many just cause they like it or smth. With Kai? This guy slaps it out of their hands and says it’s not worth the waste when they’re only here for essentials. Wu gave them money for that only, so they best budget and make sure they can buy everything they need and maybe some extras of those things or else. None of them realise how confused Wu is when a proud Kai returns believing he saved up money by being smart and responsible, when Wu actually gave them extras to use there as like an implied thing. But when it comes to things of value, this guys has no idea what to do, take for example with Ronin. He had no idea how much the thing could cost but knew they had to pay it or else. But he’s also horrible at negotiating because he can’t properly understand the worth of what they’re negotiating the deal on and can’t see when it might be worse or better.

Kai was a shockingly quiet kid. Like yes he was still ‘aggressive’ and rude, but like never spoke on his own. Nya was always the talker between the two, but even she doesn’t talk as much as often. So usually Kai would silently accept a lot of things as a child until he grew older and got a bit of an attitude so despite being often silent that one quiet kid in the back who does everything right will and probably has cussed you out if you step out of line.

Nya actually cut Kai’s hair when they were younger because she was bored and Kai fell for her trap and ended up thinking it wad a great idea since his hair had gotten too long. She messed it up however since, you know, she was like max 6, and Kai’s hair came out nothing like the picture they had of their dads. Kai almost cried at how it didn’t turn out like how he wanted when Nya giggled and said his hair looks like a “Really cool fireee!”. No, Nya does not remember that she’s the reason Kai keeps his hair like that.

Kai loves fish, he likes dragging Nya outside to summon some and makes her stay with him until he’s bored. Nya likes eating fish.

Kai likes jumping into his rlly bulky and tall mechs and then posing like a school girl or a cute model in them. Jay once managed to convince him to Jojo pose and they distracted an enemy because of it. Cole and Lloyd cussed them out, except Cole couldn’t stop laughing and Lloyd’s hair kept blowing in the wind dramatically every time he changed his position so it looked like he posing. He made them run up and down the monastery mountain steps five times each way. Cole too.

You know those really cute candle holders? So like Kai convinced Pixal to make him a fire proof bear suit, wore it outside in the dark, in the middle of the training ground, with everyone asleep. He lit himself on fire and he looked like a glowing monster bear with teeth and blood (shadows and ketchup, he was hungry). He thought it looked cute and cool. Zane screaming, malfunctioning, and then screeching “THY BEAST MUST BE SLAIN!” And shooting ice at him was not a part of the plan (Zane watched Macbeth the movie before sleeping). Both refuse to apologise to each other but after a day of ignoring one another Jay watches as Kai clings to a Zane full koala like when he’s doing chores.

Cole tries to teach Kai how to draw. Kai, for the life of him, cannot. Even stickmen look wonky and wrong.

Kai, surprisingly enough, has amazing handwriting. Everyone gets him to write stuff like letters for them because either theres is worse then a kid in nursery, or they wanna impress someone.

Kai really likes having something around his arms, like bandages, gloves, cloth, anything. For special events, he lets Cole tie silk ribbons around his arms like bandages.

Kai wishes he had soft hands. Everyone loves the feeling of his rough hands though. It comforts them.

Kai also loves cracking his knuckles. He loves doing it around Wu, who hates the noise and smacks Kai with his staff, who cackles and does it again.

At bad times in his life, Kai sits and lights a fire when the moon is at its highest point, out in the dark where it’s cold.

Kai loves stealing Jay’s action figures by accident. Jay was annoyed at first until he saw Nya giving Skylor an unintentional wide eyed look whilst holding a doll after Skylor said “oh, yeah i forget i had this old thing, don’t really like it tbh” disinterestedly. Jay put together whats what when Skylor blinked and said Nya could have it with a grin, who legit giggled. Nya. Giggling. Jay puts his action figures on a shelf and never touches them, giving an impression to someone who isn’t a collector (who couldn’t afford to be one) that they aren’t that important. Jay begins buying more action figures and other stuff he usually wouldn’t but knows Kai or Nya would love and leave it somewhere like it’s always been there. Says something under is breath just loud enough for a peeping ear to hear about how he might throw it away, and the next day its gone. Sometimes, he outright hands it to them saying he doesn’t like it but doesn’t wanna waste it. The other ninja, plus Pixal and Wu, pick up whats going on and do the same. Later in the years (after the re-design and sog) Kai and Nya long picked up on whats going on, they still love it regardless because it makes them feel less guilty (no no guys they definitely didn’t break down sobbing after Jay gave them a water themed colouring book for adults and Kai a mimic of Mitsuri Kanroji’s sword from demon slayer (a fake), definitely not.)

(Lowkey just realised this is very similar to a Morro fanfic of ao3, No i did not realise it when i wrote it but i do now, its where Morro likes collecting seemingly useless stuff left in places no one would leave smth special at. It’s because Morro was a homeless orphan, so he takes useless things in to give them importance. Love that head canon and fanfic it’s on ao3 guys omg. Imagine resurrected Morro doing that and Kai and Nya just realising in horror that THEY do that too. They get it, and dammit Morro is more similar to them than they would’ve liked.)

Kai totally likes wearing those happy birthday head bands even when it’s not his birthday and acts like he isn’t. If someone says happy birthday to him, he looks at them all judgy like and says “Its not my birthday? What gave you that impression?”

Kai actually easily gets sick, and hates it. The others have to time his down so he’ll actually get rest and not just push through it regardless. It takes summoning the duo of Wu AND Maya to get him to stop.

When the og four ninja met for the first time and right after they stopped Garmadon and got back to their realm, they still hadn’t actually gotten to know each other so Kai used to run away from them like the secret introvert he was groomed into being and it took Nya tackling him to get him to finally play those “super cringy bonding games”

Kai was subjected to Lloyd’s glowing green eyes staring at him constantly with no words exchanged. When the silence got too much and Lloyd just kept staring Kai asks what his problem is. Lloyd says “oh nothing, muchacho” and Kai realises Lloyd is still petty over what happened in the first episode.

Yeah thats all i got i think I’m sick shdgfv

[slayfics]

Explosive tendencies a slow burn fanfic about the readers developing relationship with Katsuki Bakugo.

Chapter seven: You hang out at the pool with the girls.

Chapter links

Your classmate's trip to the mall had actually ended up being an eventful one. Izuku had a run-in with Shigaraki, one of the League of Villains members. Due to that, your class was forbidden to go anywhere for summer in order to stay safe from any more attacks.

That didn't really affect you much but it did change the location of the summer camp. No one knew exactly where the class was going for summer training anymore.

You sat on your bed enjoining a recent book series you had picked up when your phone buzzed. You grabbed your phone surprised to see a direct message from Mina.

Hey! The girls got permission to use the school pool to hang out this summer since we can't go anywhere else. We are all going tomorrow you should come!

Pass, you thought. Letting your phone slide back to your bed. Then you replayed the scene at the diner where you studied with Eijiro and Katsuki. Eijiro had noticed you hadn't talked to many other students. Maybe it wouldn't be such a bad thing to get to know your classmates more, you pondered.

You left Mina's message on read deciding to leave the decision to go or not for tomorrow.

Tomorrow came and you decided you had nothing better to do anyway. You made your way to the school deciding a swim wouldn't be so bad.

Upon arriving several of the other girls were already in the locker room changing.

"You came! Hey!" Mina exclaimed happily, noticing you.

"Hey, Ashido," You greeted your classmate back.

"I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you totally can't wear that cute swimsuit you brought," She said pointing at the suit you were pulling out of your bag.

"Oh really?" You asked confused.

"Yeah we have to wear these dumb school ones," She said handing you one. It was indeed the worst bathing suit you'd seen in your life.

"This is fucking hideous," You said grabbing it from her.

"I know right?! Don't worry though we are all wearing them. It's just even more upsetting since I bought like three cute bathing suits for the summer and now they are all going to waste!" She said dramatically.

You let out a laugh at her exaggerated distress.

"I brought them though! Want to see them?" She said with a big smile.

"Sure," You shrugged as you began to change into the school uniform swimsuit.

"Ok theres this one-, and this one-," Mina said as she pulled out her suits and laid them against herself to model them for you.

"Wow those are cute, I see why you're so upset. Do you think the teachers are really going to notice if we wear our own?"

"Maybe not, but this is the only thing we can do all summer so none of us want to risk it," She said looking downcast.

"Fine-, I guess I will go along with the grandma swimsuit then," You joked.

Mina laughed, "Wow, I had no idea you were this funny. Come on let's catch up with the other girls," She said now that you had finished changing.

You both walked out to the pool finding the other girls tossing around a beach ball.

"Hey! Look who I found!" Mina said, pulling your hand to get into the water with her.

"Oh wow, hi! We are glad you came," Ochaco greeted you.

"Yeah, we haven't been able to get to know you yet," Tsuyu said.

"Uh yeah, hi," You said awkwardly not knowing what else to say.

"Well come on, toss me the ball!" Mina said, breaking up the awkwardness. You tossed the ball back and forth with the rest of the girls. Some complained and shared what they had planned for the summer, and then the conversation turned to speculation about what the new summer training could be. This went on until the conversation was halted when Toru pointed out that some of the boys from class had shown up.

"Oh guess they asked to use the pool too," Mina shrugged and continued to toss the ball.

The boys consisted of Fumikage, Tenya, and Mashirao who quietly stretched by the side of the pool minding their own business. That was until three more boys crashed into the scene and started a commotion.

The beach ball dropped in the water as all the girls turned to see Tenya now lecturing Minoru and Denki. Izuku in the background looked confused by the lecture.

"Oh great the pervs are here. Suddenly I don't mind that I'm in a grandma bathing suit," You said, giving the other girls a laugh.

"Whatever, let's ignore them," Mina said, picking the ball up again and tossing it.

You and the girls ignored the commotion and continued back in conversation tossing the ball back and forth. Until shortly after another disturbance came from the boys. You all looked again this time to see Eijiro attempting to hold Katsuki back from coming at Izuku. Katsuki was yelling something about murdering him.

"Should we make sure that doesn't escalate?" Momo asked moving closer, as Ocohoa was already on her way. The other girls moved in closer as well, except for one.

An audible gasp came from beside you making you jump.

"OMG- TELL ME WHICH ONE!" Mina said with wide eyes and pulling on your arm.

"What?!" You asked confused.

"Oh don't play dumb! You totally got super quiet and all blushy when Kirishima and Bakugo showed up! So, which one is it? Which one do you like?! You have to tell me!" She pleaded.

"I- uh- I don't know what you mean-," You tried to brush her off. Did Mina really notice that? You thought you looked away fast enough that it wouldn't be obvious. It wasn't your fault that the girl's suites weren't revealing at all but the boy's suites were.

"Wait no. I know, it has to be Kirishima because he's the one who suggested I invite you today," She said pensively.

You felt your heart drop. So that was the reason she had reached out, only because Eijiro asked her to?

"Oh I see, that's the reason you invited me." You said looking away from her.

"What?! No! I mean sure he gave me the idea at the mall. But come on, you heard the other girls. We totally wanted to get to know you more!" She said, smiling sweetly.

"Hey uh, Yaoyorozu kind of elected us to help judge the boy's swimming contest," Kyoka said, approaching you both.

"Alright let's do it!" Mina said, pumping her fist in the air.

"How the hell are we supposed to do that," You said, splashing some water.

"Just watch them closely I suppose," Mina said, flashing you a wink.

You felt your cheeks flush again as she pulled you to watch with the rest of the girls.

Tags: @unofficialmuilover @anon-mouse223 @maddietries @sikuthealien @queenpiranhadon

[skatingbi]

Yo we out here with some more Ace lives AU but i'll make them little bullet points so I dont have to write a whole essay. Enjoy my little headcanons!

Warning: Theres. So many. Im not sorry tho lmao

Ace joins the strawhats after the time skip, nobody really minds and theyre happy to spend time with luffy's older brother. He quickly becomes best friends with Nami. I just feel it in my soul that they would gossip together.

Both Ace and Luffy suffer from awful PTSD symptoms after Marineford. With Luffy, his crew eventually learn how to help him. With Ace, though, he only has Luffy to lean on for support until the crew get aquanted with him.

Actually, to add onto that bc im a sucker for acesan, Sanji is the first after Luffy to reach out during one of his bad days when even really small triggers can make Ace spiral into a panic attack.

More acesan sorry lmao. Ace is usually either out on the figure head of the sunny looking at the ocean when Luffy isnt occupying that spot, in the gallery when Sanji is working, or just out on the deck laying on the grass. He especially likes being around sanji in the gallery.

Pre timeskip Ace is extremely different than this AU's Ace because yes he's silly and carries an air of confidence with him still, but he's never shirtless around others anymore. For a long while, Ace doesnt leave the ship or pick fights. His confidence is a facade for a long time.

Depression hits ace like a truck in this AU and its only eased with the help of Luffy and Sanji. Chopper also helps the best he can with what he's got. Ace is grateful for this, and eventually his old self starts to emerge more and more. Luffy is there with him the entire time.

Ace has insomnia, but so does Sanji and Zoro. He'll hang out with them during late night hours either on watch with zoro sharing stories or with Sanji talking to him while he's doing prep work or inventory. He'll probably also fend off luffy when his little brother tries to break into the locked fridge lmao

But more funny headcanons!! Im getting depressing here sorry!! Ace will mess around with Luffy and entertain him before meal times by play fighting. Their asses will be duking it out on the deck and Chopper will be all concerned and Zoro and Nami will be like "Siblings." Like thats the most obvious answer in the world.

Tbh, the crew members with any type of sibling or sibling bond will get it. Luffy will deadass try to steal Ace's food and Ace will smack his hand lightly with haki and Luffy will dramatically exclaim how mean his big brother is.

"Ace is so mean! I'll starve to death!" "Yeah, sure, you little menace"

Ace regaining strength over his devil fruit powers by making little shapes out of fire for chopper, luffy, and usopp. Franky and brook join the group to give ace prompts. It becomes a nightly occurance at this point.

The first time he decides to go shirtless in front of the crew, they realize his old tattoo is replaced by scar tissue that covers nearly his entire back. Nobody says anything, but I think Franky and Nami would be really understanding. Also luffy. Luffy would be like "We match! Ace has a cool scar like I do!" and it reassures him but also breaks his heart simultaneously.

Ace eating nearly as much as luffy and Sanji being like "Are you sure youre not blood related? Because youre both gonna run my kitchen dry"

Ace not really having a defined role in the crew and them not really minding it. Ace floats around basically. It kind of fits him more that way since he knows a bit of everything. He'll look at maps with nami to chart a course to the next island, He'll fight alongside zoro and sanji, he'll tell usopp about different ways to use combustion and heat in weapons or ammo, etc.

Ace and nami using the power of their good looks to scam people lmao and ace being able to swindle men and women. Nami is impressed and also jealous.

Luffy growing his hair out so him and Ace match, but luffy apparently has curlier hair than Ace so its just a fluffy mess until usopp caves and teaches them how to actually take care of their hair (luffy does not absorb a single thing and ace now has to help luffy with his hair when it gets as long as his)

Ace noticing one day how zoro looks at luffy and being like "yikes...you got it bad, man" and zoro just being like "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP-" but ace is fucking cackling and now zoro cant be too mad about that. He's still embaressed as fuck about it though.

Expanding on that actually: Ace actually being supportive because he knows how loyal zoro is. He isnt worried. Plus, Luffy is extremely strong and it takes a lot to actually hurt him. So he's like "dude you gotta just tell him straight up he is dense as hell"

Ace the ultimate wingman for zoro. Not luffy, though. That's what Nami is there for. Him an nami are definitely working together and placing bets on when and who asks who out with robin, usopp, sanji, and franky. I wont say what they chose for their bet but robin definitely wins.

BUT luffy, nami, zoro, robin, usopp and franky place bets on Ace and Sanji. Ace is never subtle. He flirts openly and is proud of it. Sanji is very subtle with ace, though. The crew immediately see past his bullshit of trying to be straight. Its painful to watch. Poor sanji is trying so hard to remain closeted but the closet is literally glass. I wont say who betted what as per my last bullet point, but surprisingly zoro won. Everyone (nami) is outraged by this incident. Luffy is here for a good time.

The crew playing card games except they learn sometimes ace cannot handle flammable objects because he will burn them accidentally. Competitive card games are now banned if ace is playing.

Ace is also banned from using his devil fruit powers while sparring on the deck. The poor grass on there has been burned so many times. Nami has kicked his ass over it.

Ace and zoro get really competitive. Not like zoro and sanji, but they'll spar without weapons and at least one of them will leave with a busted lip or eyebrow and a lecture from chopper. Theyre chill though they just forget to hold back on their punches. Ace one time used haki and had to help franky fix the deck afterwards.

[romanceddawn]

i talk about yandere seto sometimes but in season 0 it is pretty much canon, like he is actively stalking yugi throughout the show and i think its really funny so heres a bunch of evidence of that:

the first time we see it is when he sends that first game master out, he's not only hiding to listen to the duel in the nurses office but its heavily implied that he's been stalking yugi for a little bit before that too

like at the end of the day anzu tells yugi not to go to the arcade and yugi kind of rushes off despite knowing he doesnt have the money, meaning this is a frequent thing he does, but whats more is that he's going specifically that day because someones told him theres a new game being unveiled. when he gets there he cant find it and has to ask about it, which is when we see a disguised kaiba lead him to the back alley to kidnap him (this killed me to watch btw, yugi has no self preservation, but it was cute that kaiba seemed to stutter when talking to him)

but this all means that he was watching yugi long enough to know he always goes to the arcade after school and that yugi wouldnt be able to resist coming, even if he didnt have the money, as long as there was something new to play. it also means he had someone plant the information that thered be a new game OR that kaiba just disguised himself and told yugi this which is what im choosing to believe

of course, then we get to see him actually stalking him in the triplets episode, literally driving by and watching him (which is so funny to think about cuz his driver must be so tired of him lol)

at first i honestly thought he was stalking the triplets but at the end of the episode there is no reveal that he wanted them out of the dueling scene or that he was even worried about them getting the card they wanted at all, he beat them extremely easily. his only reason for doing the duel is because he couldnt stand the thought of someone (that he hadnt sent himself) beating yugi before he could, so i think he was watching yugi, recognized the triplet, and got bothered by them trying to encroach in on his rival

he also apparently records yugi? this recording is just the first game master playing him that he shows to aileen, but who knows how many other times he's recorded him just in case he 'needed' the footage

this moment of him lamenting about being connected by fate is ooc for him and not really stalking but it is very yandere of him so im throwing it in here anyways

and of course i have to add the death t invitation because you know he was watching yugi and his friends that whole day just waiting for the perfect moment to hack into something and invite him as dramatically as possible (however i wont add any of the death t stuff cuz like. we know what happens and how obsessive he is there)

since having this in my drafts, the season 0 movie has been restored and posted to youtube and in it kaiba is technically looking out for rare cards but even then he's managing to get in some time to stalk yugi (also the way his employee says "i know sir" i just know they're so tired of his obsessive ass)

TDLR: yandere seto is canon thank you for your time

[rauberrauber]

line up baby

wanted to make a sort of ref for everyone so i can keep track of everyone's designs, heights, etc

side hcs below cuz i wanna ramble lol

fyi any links are just for pictures to help visualize what im trying to say

also add to these with ur own i love reading hcs :]

general:

the sides work with a kind of cartoon logic (kinda like who framed Roger rabbit) which is what their shape shifting and such is, they can survive pretty much everything, dont bend to reality type thing

i also dig playing around with the idea that they just arent human, they dont need to eat, sleep, even breathe or blink if they dont wanna. They just play more human around thomas so they dont freak him out (everyone but remus at least, dude doesnt give a fuck lol) they all have their priorities regarding that kinda stuff. like logan doesnt eat or sleep almost at all (there r exceptions tho obvi (crofters))  while patton rly likes to cook and bake so why not eat the stuff you make? meanwhile remus eats literally anything he can find

they can also float if they wanna, same thing where they just dont around thomas. this came about me just imagining remus consistently floating around in the mindscape instead of walking for whatever reason? so yeah they can do that

theres a core mindscape and a ‘dark’ mindscape, that sorta works like the upside down from stranger things (as in the dark mindscape is like literally upside down and mirrors everything, like this)

everyones also got their own unique doors to their rooms. logans is very sleek and modern, pattons in more childlike and almost vintage, romans resemble castle doors while remus’ is more like a dungeons, virgils is typically angsty teenager with tons of posters and ‘keep out’ signs, and janus has tons of locks on his

design wise the core sides have straight teeth and fluffier hair while the dark sides have sharp teeth and rougher(?) hair (since changing, virgil has vampire-esque fangs)

logan:

square rimmed glasses

loves the rain

unintentionally fidgets with his clothes, always adjusting his glasses or rolling his sleeves up and down or messing with the buttons or his tie

playing more into the whole ‘sides dont have to eat thing’ he finds food kinda nasty lol, again only rly eats stuff thats very good to him (ultimate picky eater basically) patton has tried and failed many times to get logan to try and like new foods

roman was the one who got him to try crofters

watches those long ass video essays about random topics on youtube for background noise

patton:

round glasses and heart eyes

has roller blades/skates! specifically these ones that retract the wheels. good way of getting energy out (even if hes super clumsy with them)

tallest + dad bod

tons of bandages, kinda playing around with the phrase ‘broken heart’

him and janus play video games together (both of them are terrible lol)

definitely listens to dad rock/dad music

roman:

starry eyes!

crown can float on its own (same w/ remus’)

has one of these couches in his room to dramatically faint onto

him and remus dont share a room, but they have a sort of portal to each others rooms if that makes sense. a big mirror but instead of reflecting, its showing into the other room and only the twins can go thru

wants to be his own side after the split

roman and remus pierced each others ears when they were younger

virgil:

decently tall but slouches a lot which hides it (slouching hes shorter than the twins but still taller than janus) also rarely stands or sits straight at all so it kinda shocked the core sides when he showed them how tall he rly was (queue roman being mad cuz hes actually the shortest of the main four lol)

has stereotypical emo hair and still has some purple dye in it

hot topic skeleton fingerless gloves and muddy sneakers (idk why it just feels right)

tons of random bruises

draws his nails black with sharpie

listens to metal music to calm down. remus got him into a lot of numetal, screamo kinda music when virgil was still one of the others, it was one of the few times theyd hang out and virgil wasnt 100% freaked out by remus

definitely experimented with scene fashion when thomas was a teenager

drinks tons of energy drinks

janus:

shortest ha

yellow eyes

bow wrapped on his hat

long flowy cape and heeled shoes with spats (thats what theyre called right?)

uses the staff from pof as a walking cane

speaks fluent pig latin, remus and logan are the only ones who can somewhat understand what he says (remus cuz hes been around janus so long, and logan wanting to research and understand whatever the hell janus is saying) it also has always drove virgil up the wall cuz hes never been able to get it, janus will start speaking it just to annoy him

only rly relaxes when by himself, always kinda putting on a mask with the others and thomas, regardless of how trustworthy he considers them

constantly coming up with proper plans and schemes, typically wouldnt let remus near them with a 10 foot pole (affectionately)

knows how to lockpick

scared of the ocean

remus: 

broken crown

eyes can go all crazy, pupils can be different sizes and such (there was a cartoon that did this where the eyes would go red and have a ton of rings around the pupils like spirals kinda? i cant find a pic of what im rly visualizing rip i hope that makes sense)

ton of rings (one of em is an eyeball ring)

is like half an inch taller than roman and will never let him live it down

enjoys all the ‘bad’ disney/pixar movies. (cars, home on the range, etc) and like unironically enjoys them. prolly started ironically to mess with roman but he genuinely find those ones the best and cant fathom why theyre disliked (totally not self-indulgent cuz some of those movies are my favorites)

comes up with random weird plans and ropes janus into them whenever possible, janus plays along best he can

somewhat wants to fuse back with roman (even if hes unsure why)

remus and virge used to make fun of roman together all the time

remus is the one who gave virge his septum and gages

[superums]

rock-star! hobie x super-star! reader headcannons

ooc!hobie (maybe). gn!reader. mentions of girlfriend one time but that it. black coded!reader but its not heavy or anything. reader was supposed to be a rapper but i like the idea of a super star instead. i wanted to make the reader like sexyy red that didn't happen. theres a suggestive part. idk how to write his accent

color coded text: hobie , you

you guys are more alike than you think. touring, getting into fights, sometimes your music topics intersect beating people down, stealing peoples partners, rebelling against the system in some way, shape or form.

but where you're different is how you market yourselfs. hobies band is more about being loud about the hate for conforming and the system. they're vocal about political issues, they almost get banned from tv multiple times for broadcasting ideas that the man doesn't like.

you on the other hand, are seen as the super star of your generation. you rap, sing dance—you're the real deal. your music is very diverse depending on what you want to go for; you could sing the most heart wrenching songs about one sided love and the next track you could be rapping about getting white girl wasted and getting ████ed in the ████ in the car before an award show (which may or may not have happened).

anyways! you two keep your relationship as private as you can. you don't really talk about each other in interviews, you have a couple songs about each other but it's not really a common thing.

theres a lot of paparazzi pics of you two together though. theres pics of you and hobie walking out of after parties together, hanging with his friends, coming back from the grocery store and many, many photos of you two hugging and kissing.

hobie has like this sixth sense that makes him always find the camera so sometimes theres pictures of him grabbing as much of your ass as he can while smirking at the camera man thats walking behind you (which you didn't know whats there btw)

and every single times he dose that theres always a second picture of you hitting the back of his head or grabbing his ear.

*click* *click* *click* "stop doing that!" your face was getting hotter from embarrassment as you turned the corner faster trying to get away from the camera man. hobie could only smirk as he caught up to you easily, putting his hand on your shoulders before pulling you closer.

bringing one of his hands to your waist as the other snaked from your shoulder to your chest. "c'mon luv, you know i can't resist..." his breath hitting your ear as he leaned in to smell your neck before being cut off by a hit to his chest. you could practically hear his smirk as he pushed your hips back into his.

your stomach started to naught as you felt it on your behind. you closed your eyes almost forgetting the situation. *click* *clock* *click* your eyes snapped open as your hear the camera man behind you.

"oh hush you just think you're funny." hobie couldn't even hold back his laugh as he watched you walk in front of him with your arms crossed. "well it is! n' don't act like you don't like it."

if you're shy & bashful he would love to embarrass you but not in a ddg/halle bailey way but in a "omgggg stop guys🙈" kind of way like why is he parading around in a 'i 🩷 my gf' shirt and making out with you on national television

hobie dose not think it's right to be controlling over his partners nor dose he believe that you should be subservient to him—now with that being said he feels sick to his stomach when you collaborate with certain artists.

you had a song about partying in the club and your male feature was talking about fucking on you he couldn't even bring himself to post the song on a ig story. he actually fell to his knees !!!

speaking of feeling sick! if you ever twerk on someone just for a performance or have to grind on someone during a dance he doesn't get super angry or whatever but in the inside he's like 'im abt to kms'. he's very dramatic!!

he hates when people try to put you in the role of just being his partner and nothing else—he will literally sit there and argue with someone if they ever try to sit there and say you're nothing but a pretty face.

he feels a certain way if you ever get uber rich. he knows thats most if not all artist want to live comfortably and he understands that you aren't the corrupt system that exploits others, hell you're getting exploited in some way.

BUT if you ever have a million dollars his would would feel a little VERY unsettled. he'd probably break up with you lol he wouldn't want to sound like a hater but he'd try to be like "heyyy how about we donate some money to a shelter or something🙈🫶🏿💗❓"

but if you're dating him he won't have to worry about that because you have to be at least a little political (and he'd have to agree with your views)

you might not be an anarchist, you don't even have to classify yourself with one political party but you have to at least be anti-capitalist, anti-establishment and pro-black.

speaking of politics he gets arrested all the time for protesting and you'll have to get used to that. like every few weeks you will have to pic him up from jail because he was arrested for conspiracy to riot or something on the lines of that.

IF you two ever collab you'll have to find a middle ground because he cannot sing (that is cannon!) and you should never try to get him too unless you want your engineer to be slaving away trying to get him to sound listenable.

he's lowkey your arm candy and he doesn't mind it at all. like if you get invited to the grammies or something he'll always come with you (his group will most likely never get nominated bc of the topics they like to talk about.) but he's never wearing a suit he just likes to dress like this:

in return you'll probably have to dress in a lot of black id you want to match or don't... he'll be like your statement piece for the night

if he's with you when you get your first award he'll literally pic you up and jump up and down with you for a few seconds before letting you go

if you normally win at award shows he just kisses you for a few seconds before letting go up to accept it

either way doesn't like to go up on stage with you hen you accept awards because he feels like he takes away from your moment but he dose walk you off and on stage. the only way he'll ho up on stage with you is if you're like crying really heavy then.

his band mates probably thought you were gonna be the hit it & quit it type because usually punks and non-punks don't last long but they were a little surprised when 1) you two lasted long and 2) you agreed with their views despite being industry.

sum sum sum idk how to end this

[caitlinsnicket]

izzy hands sfw headcanons part 3

a/n: part 1 here, part 2 here. theres a lot more under the cut. its huge but i didnt want to make a thousand parts. have a nice meal

he has the habit of blowing things out of proportion, no matter how tiny and insignificant they are. he's dramatic and whiny, even theatrical at times, and something that never fails to get a reaction out of him is when you call it out

maybe he'll be screaming at the crew, saying that they should know how to clean a deck, threatening them with death or a beating, until you ask him what got his panties in a twist

he just stills. completely. no movement, just a frozen izzy in the middle of everyone, expecting his reaction. he just runs a hand thorugh his hair, moves his shoulders around and leaves the place without another word, dissapearing into his cabin

after a little while, you go to him and he's taken his outer clothing off, sitting on the bed and rubing his face with his hands. you go to him and hug him, massaging his shoulders next, caressing his hair until he melts onto you. he's just tired, and when he's tired he's dramatic

although sometimes, he's just dramatic for the sake of it, and then you allow it, entering in his rare shenanigans to humor him

his resigned smiles when you flirt with him are the best thing in the world, it never fails to make your heart flutter inside your chest

he has many different smiles, and as he learns to be more at ease with the crew, they become more frequent and bright. it makes you feel good, tha he's learning to become a functional person again, and that he's allowing other people to witness it

he has a habit of sitting on your lap. in the begining he was reluctant to do so (even though he wanted to), saying that he was no damsel that needed rescuing, but after the firsttime he did it in a tavern, drunk in booze and love, he's surrendered to his desires and now constantly rests on top of you

when you're eating at the table, when you're at stede's cabin, when you're just lounging on deck or having a party, he claims his place on your lap and rests there, his ungloved hand caressing your shoulders and back comfortably

because he gets more used to pda and relaxes more around the crew, he also gets more comfortable with touching them casually, like showing someone how to do a specific knot or teaching them how to fight in a specific way

he gives hugs (rarely and quickly though) and gentle taps on shoulders, ruffles hairs and taps knees. he's taken the role of the resigned father, and even though he'll never admit it, he's very happy to be this figure to everyone

although, sometimes he'll get overwhelmed with feelings and just cuss everyone out in an attempt to stop the ache in his chest. he calls you twat, cocksucker, idiot, and other variations, but there's no real venom behind his words. just a fear of closeness that he clearly doesn't want to feel

when hugging, he begins stiff, barely touching you back, and then suddenly he just melts, nose buried on your neck, his eyes closed and his eyebrows creased, leaning on you to the point he's almost put all his body weight on you

he needs these touches, these cuddles and hugs to recharge after a long day of piracy and ordering around. with the way the capitans act, he might as well be the one in charge, and it wears him out. sometimes all he needs to keep going is for you to pull him to a corner and engulf him with your arms for a while, in complete silence, just so he can ground himself better and feel good enough to go back to work

sometimes when the two of you are kissing, he'll just pull back, his hands on your shoulders, and just look at you for a moment, scanning your face as if to commit it to memory, and then he goes back in, taking your breath away. it's like can't get enough of you

izzy is a conflicted man, and at times, it feels like he's sorry for loving you. like he's apologising for his feelings, like he feels guilty for being devoted to you. "I... love you". he says it as if it's an inconvenience, as if he's trying to warn you that this is happening. like it doesn't need saying, and it's a mistake to actually put it out there

so tell him you love him back, reassure him, make him feel good about loving you, encourage him to put himself out there and he'll learn to see his feelings as a gift, and not as a disease

he often feels that he's not good, that he's an infection and that you shouldn't get too close or you'll get sick too. but when you tell him again all the good things he's done, all the lovely feelings you have for him and how he's entitled to not having good days and being angry, he almost believes it. and for now, that's enough

at first you don't ask him about his scars, thinking it might set him off or make him defensive, but one day he asks about yours, and you tentatively ask him about one on his cheek. he tells you gladly, even cracking a joke or two, and you feel more confident to ask him about it

so one day the two of you are laying in bed and he sits up, getting ready to go on about his days, and you run your fingers on his back scars. the question tingles on the tip of your tongue, but you don't say it. instead, with a soft raspy voice, he questions you. "would you like to know?". and so he tells you all the gruesome details and sad parts, and he doesn't let any of it out

he's scared that you'll see him differently, but you just hug him from behind, kissing his shoulders and the scars you can reach, earning a low chuckle from deep in his chest. you reassure him and pull him back in the bed, keeping him there for a while before you allow him to go to work

when he takes up on wearing feminine, soft clothing, it's a whole thing between the two of you. you steal some stuff from stede, maybe you already had it before joining the crew, and one day after he's taken a bath he sees it and he just puts it on, in an attempt to be sexy and seduce you

but it just shifts something in his brain, he finds out how much he loves soft, delicate fabrics rubbing on his skin, and then he starts stealing your clothes. it sparks an awkward conversation between the two of you, until you just tell him that he can wear your stuff whenever you want, and that you'd like to buy him more delicate stuff

next time you're on land, you buy him more soft stuff, and you decide to take a corset too. you show it to him and say he doesn't have to wear it, but you thought he might like it and so there it is

he just feels so overwhelmed with the care and consideration you have for him that his cheeks get extremely warm, and he almost cries when he tries it on for the first time. he looks absolutely dashing, and he feels like it, and it's the most beautiful thing you've ever seen

he's a little hesitant in wearing these things in front of the crew, but many conversations with you, wee john and jim manage to get him out of his shell and he just flourishes after that. he wears a mix of dresses and leather and soft fabrics and lace and fixes his hair in a way that makes him feel cute and no one respects him less for it. he's still the feared first mate, best swordsman ever known

and after a little while he starts experimenting with makeup, with the help of wee john, and so he starts training on you and he finds out that he's a great artist. he doesn't do it fancy all the time, but in special ocasions he goes overboard and oh boy. it's the brightest he's ever smiled

tell him he deserves soft and beautiful things

he's always worn leather, but now he wears more feminine cuts and special corsets that make his chest puff out even more than normal. it makes you foam at the mouth, and when he really wants to tease people, he gets dressed completely in leather and strings, swaying his hips as he walks away with a smirk

sometimes he'll catch you staring at his tattoos and he wonders what you think about them, if you wonder about the circumstances that originated them, if you'd like him to talk about it. he doesn't ask. he also wonders what kind of tattoo you'd give him, and the idea of having you permanently inked on his skin sends chills down his spine

if you're the same height he likes that you're always at the same level, and it's more likely that he'll give you cheek kisses. if he's taller than you (its possible people), he'll always kiss your forehead, and it gives him a buzz of power that you have to look at him through your eyelashes. if you're taller than him, he'll kiss your chin and tuck his head under it, and he'll swoon at how you look at him from above

slut

praise him constantly, you'll see how good it makes him feel. praise him for the little things and the big things too. he specially likes it when you watch him train and you start praising him for his fighting skills, his strength and his body. he'll finish his training beaming and with a light flush on his cheeks

[voidsentprinces]

Remember kids, Zenos hates his royal bloodline. His favorite moment in his entire life is killing his father and thus freeing him of any of the tediousness of ascending the throne, acting as prince, or anything else. When Jullus exiles him officially and denounces his royal lenage. He just asks if he had a good reason for what he had done, if that would of made any difference in the matter. He relishes being a Resonant because he can shirk off anything and everything. The Castle has fallen to the Revolution, his strong hold, his Lupin trump cards, Fordola, Yotsuyu, Doma, all his military Castrums and chances of using a hostage in Krile or the Ala Mhigan Quarter he happily threw away. Only putting up the bare minimum of a fight as his station of Viceroy demanded. Giving up van Baelsar's regions in the same way a cat will give up only pestering a mouse toy after a while. All to draw you to him. He destroys Garlemald, has his enthralled capture people from Thavnair to fuel the towers to reach the moon and consume Zodiark to fight us once more. All else is meaningless in his eyes. Even his antagonistic nature toward the rest of Eorzea is half-assed at best. As shown how he casually saunters into Sharlayan surrounded by millions of soldiers and approaches Krile to consume what remains of the Mothercrystal to ride the light of the stars to meet us in Meteion's Ultimatum. All else is but ash in the mouth. He lives for the moments with us, the fighting with us, even Fandaniel's betrayal is only a minor inconvinence to him. And when we finally throw our all at him and repeats in kind. He lays dead at the ends of the universe, the conclusion whether or not it was worth it going unanswered. Because Endwalker is about answering Venat and Hermes' question to life, not whether or not Zenos found his journey worthy or not.

Zoraal Ja on the other hand, he yearns to fight and lord himself over all others. The Rite of Succession, the theft of the tablets and key to the Gold City, the attack on Tural's capital, the fight with Galool Ja Ja, the pestering and leering and dramatics in front of Sphene and Wuk Lamat. He does it because he believes that is what he must do after the Rightful Heir and Resilient Son. But not the campaign in the north or the Rite of Succession, the fighting of his fathers shade or his aged patriarch, not the scuffles with Wuk Lamat, the demeaning of Bakool Ja Ja, the slaughtering of his own people or the consuming of the many, many souls of Everkeep fill the hole in his heart. He yearns for the acknowledgment but knows not what he wishes to be acknowledged for. Who is he? Is he the rightful heir? The warlord? The tyrant? King of Resolve? Or a misbegotten miracle born of Galool Ja Ja? Or perhaps, he is just a Useless Tool.

Zenos knew who he was to the bone, which is why when Krile calls him a monster. He ignores her and orders her sent to Scientific Facility to research her echo. He doesn't ignore it, he bites back because he dislikes the reminder that he has to wait and put on a performance because he is the Prince instead of hunting us down in the middle of the battlefield to fight us personally.

Zoraal Ja, on the other hand, remains quiet but is clearly stung whenever Krile observes and sees in him, his blacken emotions and what acts he'd wish to visit upon Koana and Wuk Lamat. Because he doesn't know what he wants and has no way of releasing the pent up frustration outside of flailing wildly and striking anyone in his vicinity.

Zoraal Ja doesn't understand who he is. Zenos knows what role he has to play in Stormblood and plays it "to perfection". Zoraal Ja beneath a voided sky deliriously pleads to know who he is and what he stands for. A part Wuk Lamat gifts him before the final bout. Unlike Zenos who casts himself as the villainous tyrant.

So you know...theres that.

[ge]

what do you like about rotmhs? like what draws you in?

GAHH IM SO GLAD YOU ASKEDDD at the top of my head thhe top three things i felt really drew me into and made me fall in love w rotmhs is the found family/bonds before blood narrative, the action/fight scenes, and the comedy..

rotmhs is not a romance and i feel like that really pushes people away from reading it, especially folks who were first introduced to east asian novels through bl (specifically mxtxs novels like mdzs tgcf etc etc) which i feel is incredibly disappointing because yallre missing out on a certain depth of writing and nuance you otherwise wouldnt get in a romance focused novel. (orv is another extremely popular knovel with no romance.. if you like orv PLEASE give rotmhs a shot)

rotmhs is about a dead man resurrected a hundred years into the future having to come to terms w the fact that everyone he loved is dead and that the only home he ever had was destroyed, its inhabitants and centuries worth of teachings burned to the ground, and that it was partially his fault these things happened, so in order to prevent a future catastrophe he knows is on the horizon, he trains the youth of this new generation and finds a new home surrounded by ghosts in the wreckage of his home of his past

⬆️…very dramatic but somewhat accurate barebones synopsis of rotmhs which is fairly faithful enough methinks.. rotmhs doesnt make a point of going ‘heyy these guys are family nowww theyre brothers and sisters and love each other like familyyy’ LOL the growth is very subtle and before u can really blink ur like ‘oh man.. chung myung would kill for these kids. obliviously though. i dont think he knows he even likes them’ all the while hes still aching w the loss of his loved ones before.. if we’re being really really honest chung myung, the mc, truly is the star of the show and a character i got attached to incredibly quickly.. hes so stupid but so smart he has so many issues i want to hit him with my car then nurse him back to health just to hit him again

chung myung himself is a whole other thing i could get into but he has so many layers.. so much depth.. on the surface ud look at him and think what a punk but look a little closer and then ud think oh this punk has depression ptsd survivors guilt hallucinations etc etc LIKE DAMN.. I THIUGHT HE WAS JUST A FUNNY LITTLE GUY WHYD I GET SUCKER PUNCHED

what was i even talking about. OH right romance. please please dont let the lack of romance dissuade you, imo it is soooo refreshing to read something that isnt focused on romance like i love yaoi like the next bl reading bitch but damn.. ive always been into found family and while the bl novels i have read did always have a little hint of it, i always wanted more and rotmhs fills that void

(that being said i cant stop yall from shipping if yall want LOL im guilty of shipping charas too despite everythiing i just said… if yall want yalls yaoiyuri fix may i direct yalls attention to the ‘doomed by the narrative, tragic best-friends-to-almost-lovers tangchung’ & ‘love at first sight sweethearts iseolsoso’ ….. :SMILES: I LOVE TANGCHUNG..!!!!!!)

NEXT, the action and fight scenes in rotmhs, even in written text form, are sublime to say the least.. my fail cis dudebro trait is that i love crazy insane adrenaline rushing heart pumping shounen-esque battles so much that i could typically care less for the rest of that specific piece of media as long as the fights are good.. FORTUNATELY FOR ME rotmhs is crazy good at balancing its comedy, action, and otherwise more ‘mundane’ scenes together so harmoniously that its such fun read even when theres no swords crossing or heads being beaten in

also important to note, despite being a knovel w korean naming of characters/places, rotmhs actually takes place in ancient china in a wuxia setting so jumping head first into it wont be all that confusing for first time readers/cmedia fans and u can use ur knowledge of cnovels to fill in the gaps.

theres not really much more i have to say on the topic of fighting, im just personally a huge fan of the crazy spectacles rotmhs brings to the table.

saved this for last but THE COMEDY…!!!!!!!! after being soo dramatic w all my previous points and comments ur probably thnkng rotmhs is heavy and somber w no breathing room.. WELL YOURE WRONG. ROTMHS IS FUNNY AS HELL quips and jokes and simple funny actions and scenes litter nearly every page. i mentioned this novel balances its action and comedy well and im NOT LYING youd think maybe the heavy action and light comedy would awkwardly clash but u cldnt be more further from the truth.. rotmhs wears action and comedy like a pair of twin gloves

rotmhs handles its action and comedy in equal doses and it all fits together like matching puzzle pieces, like i really cant stress enough how fun it is to read. not every fight scene is somber, most of the time its chung myung oneshotting someone by hitting them across the head so hard they pass out..

unfortunately im not really the best at listing instances so its be better for u to go read it for urself but this scene from one of the later chapters is soo funny every time i read it i start giggling

(LIGHT/MINOR SPOILERS FOR THE NOVEL it probably doesnt even matter u wont even remember this when u start reading)

right so i think thats most of it.. too lazy to read through everything i just wrote so if nothing makes sense… well. …well!

rotmhs deserves to have the same amount of fame as ORV and MDZS and TGCF have and it is my civil duty as one of the oldest mxtx novel outlets on tumblr to put yall on it..

my thumbs hurt from typing so im done now but if u have anymore questions PLEASE ASK IM SO DESPERATE TO TALK ABOUT ROTMHS ok byyyeeeeeeee

[caluski]

again, a brief moment of self-reflection :-)

turning a little older yet again, i think its funny to see myself changing still. i wont lie that my life feels that much different from what it used to be - but other than boring things such as employment or housing or the lack of relationships, something has perhaps shifted in a bit quiet way, one you usually notice upon retrospection much later.

i think im still pretty much a hopeless romantic, in that stupid, proud, dramatic way that makes me absolutely fucking insufferable. everything must be either grand or tragic. obviously, its not a bad thing in itself, but it does make me far too self indulgent for my own good. i know i have to learn patience towards others, and domesticate my solitude, otherwise soon life will drive me even madder... there is a lot to reconsider when it comes to what i expect from life and people in my life, even if it feels like i overthought everything to death and back already.

the big goals for 29th year is definitely going back on meds. or should i say, finding meds that actually work for me. theres a lot that i want - such as moving out and becoming independent, having a stable job i dont have to worry about losing, or finding companionship in my daily life - but i want to be realistic just once. last year, i remember finding out about the layoffs right before summer ended, and i thought - my next job will be the one that fixes everything. obviously, its not, not yet at least. even the minimum wage aside, im annoyed with lots of aspects of it, so its far from perfect. i wish i could land a safe, corporate job that pays enough to keep me afloat on my own, but, well.

but like, other than all my actual flaws, i dont think my attempt to romanticize everything is that bad in itself. it does make good-but-normal things seem far too good to be true (like having friends, being loved, having a safe home - how can it ever be real for me, if its so beautiful???), but other than that, i do like the way it makes me feel. i like treating every coffee like the biggest blessing of the day. i like how good music makes me tear up. i like it when days are so good, theyll feel like a dream when i look back at them. i just have to keep it under a little bit of control. i have to get used to the thought that the world is not out there to cater for me, that i am not in fact the center of the universe, that everything goes on no matter what. i always liked the thought of being not the main character of life, but more of a best friend or love interest; youre still there, you can participate, you can be significant if you put your mind to it, but the world wont stop for you. also, i do like the sentiment of someone's main purpose in life being both giving and receiving of love. i might lack the brains and beauty for much more, but love, i think everyone is capable of, no matter what - and it includes me, in the end.

i want to spend more time taking pictures and listening to music. going to cafes and having long walks. i want to try going back to drawing. i wanna get better at writing - god, if this wall of text alongside all my other silly little posts arent a proof of that...... - which of course, means reading more, too. i wanna hear more live music. local, or maybe the big performances, if artists i like come over to warszawa or kraków or something. also, i wanna travel a little more. even if just to sit in a local cafe and watch the traffic. i wanna visit żmija (if youre reading this, i swearrrrrrr im not trying to invite myself over - but maybe if im in kraków or something, we could see each other closer to your home. which could also be fun because its such a big city, so much to see, so many cafes to experience. maybe a gay bar to visit? are there any worth dancing in?). and i do wanna continue collecting vinyls - slowly, as they are so costly, but still. and i do wanna become more outgoing, i want to take more risks, even if it leaves my stupid little heart sore and exposed.... rejection is inevitable, right? and i do want to catch up with romantic experiences, too. i want to feel something for someone again, even if its one-sided and desperate and miserable. but i miss it so badly, so so badly. i want to have someone to pour out my affection on - consensually. i want someone to want to be loved by me as i am, with all this mess of loud, intense feelings, without being freaked out. or maybe getting freaked out in a good way.

anyway. such a gloomy day calls for love & food playlist promo. have a good evening everyone! mwah