#every few weeks i think ab her and . get emotional

[endfght]

sophia coming home and pretending that Nothing happened. going about her life like everything is happy and okay and like she's not having a complete breakdown every single day starting from the moment she wakes up to the minute she goes to sleep. she withdraws from society almost as a whole but with the people she still talks to? she's the same old sophia and honestly? its terrifying to those she's closest to. they expected sadness, they expected depression and overwhelming emotion, but they're met with smiles and jokes and laughter and a lot of them - especially her parents - don't know how to react, so they don't. they also pretend like nothing happened, like their daughter is totally fine. and that just makes her recovery so much worse. so much harder. it takes so much longer than it should.

[angelic-sturniolos111]

The Right Words 🧸

Chris begins to question his opinions on commitment and relationships after being close friends with you for months. Chris’s feelings for you have grown stronger, but he can’t quite articulate his affection for you. Instead of using his words he makes a romantic gesture to show you how he feels.

chris sturniolo x fem! reader

warnings: none, just chris being super shy and fluffy

author’s note: kinda inspired by stuff he’s said ab relationships and how “too much love” kinda scares/intimidates him

not proofread lmao

Chris’s POV:

Matt had invited Y/N to come hang at our house while we record our podcast episode for the week. It wasn’t unusual for Y/N to always be around, she was our friend, but I hadn’t opened up to my brothers about how I truly feel about her.

She moved to LA a few months back and we all met her at some influencer party, and she hit it off with us immediately. First, it started with the four of us going out to record content, going bowling, thrifting, things like that. Eventually, we all grew closer with her and she started hanging out at our house a lot more, and often sleeping over. The first time she had slept over was after Nick and Matt had already gone to bed, and since she didn’t want to wake them she slept in my room with me. After that night I guess my room became the unofficial-Y/N-sleepover room because she has always spelt in my room every time since.

I immediately found Y/N attractive when we met— she’s a very pretty girl. I’ve always had closer girl friends in my circle, and even if I think any of them are pretty, my feelings never go beyond that— it’s always platonic. I know part of that is because they just weren’t the right girl for me, but another part of me knows it’s because I don’t let myself sit in those feelings. I’m scared of commitment, relationships, things of that sort. Sure I’ve hooked up with a few girls in my day, but I’ve never had any serious romantic feelings for anyone.

Until Y/N.

That first night she slept in my room we stayed up for hours talking about everything from our favorite hockey teams to deeper emotional stuff. That became our routine when she would sleepover… always the last ones awake, and always having long in-depth conversations with one another. What started off as friendly, platonic feelings for her quickly changed after many nights spent late night talking.

As much as I loved our late night talks I honestly wanted more. I wanted early morning talks, afternoon talks, and to just be with her every second of every day. I wanted to hold her, spoil her, kiss her, and call her mine. I thought I would never feel this way about anyone before, but she makes me feel things I’ve never felt— she’s everything to me.

I recently came to the conclusion that keeping these feelings buried was starting to drive me insane, and I had to open up to someone about it.

Matt and I were currently getting in his car on the way to pick up Y/N. Before Matt put the car in drive, I spoke up;

“Hey, can I talk to you about something that’s been on my mind a lot lately? I just really need someone to talk to about it.” I say sheepishly. Matt’s eyes leave his phone to meet mine, and he instantly put his phone down giving me his full attention.

“Yeah bro of course. You can tell me anything. What’s up?” He says concerned because usually this is the other way around. Matt opening up to me about his issues. It was rare that I ever had anything on my end to discuss.

“Well it’s just,” I pause, hesitating if I should even continue. Matt puts a hand on my shoulder comforting me enough to move on.

“I have serious, and I mean serious feelings for Y/N.”

I’m not sure what I was expecting in response, but it wasn’t this…

He started laughing. LAUGHING. In my fucking face.

“Okay why are you laughing? Is something funny about any of this?” I say now a little pissed off that he wasn’t taking this seriously.

“Oh man, no no I’m sorry I’m not trying to be rude. It’s just… SO obvious.” He says and continues to laugh.

“WHAT?! IS IT REALLY?” I yell. Oh god, I hope Y/N doesn’t know and I’m not making a complete ass out of myself.

“Yes! Nick and I talk about it all the time. You may not realize it but you NEVER stop talking about her. “Y/N said this funny thing last night,” “Y/N really likes this movie,” “You know one time Y/N” Y/N Y/N Y/N. I swear every god damn sentence you utter her name leaves your mouth.” Matt mocks, but before I can interject he continues;

“Jesus not to mention the way you stare her down whenever she’s in the room. Nick and I are always laughing about it— like when he’s editing our videos and we can see that you looking at her constantly whenever she steps behind the camera? Or when we went to the beach that one time!? You saw Y/N in a bikini for the first time, and we saw you grab the towel to cover your lap because—”

“Okay OKAY! Alright, I get it! I’m not as good as hiding my feelings for her as I thought…” I cut him off before he can continue to blabber about it any more. Matt comes down from his laughing fit.

“Hey, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be mean. My point is is that we’ve never seen you like this with anyone before, and it’s really sweet.” Matt rests his hand on my arm reassuringly. “Well, we told her we were on our way to pick her up. If you want to I can text Nick and we can come up with some sort of excuse to leave so you guys can have some alone time together and maybe you’ll be able to talk with her about it?” He suggests.

“Yeah… it’s the talking that I’m scared of.” I look down and play with my hands in my lap. “That’s the problem. Like you said, I’ve never been like this with anyone before, and I don’t know how to put my feelings into words. If you haven’t noticed I’m not necessarily the most romantic person ever.” I say with a sigh.

Matt looks around the car seeing if anything might give him an idea. He sees the gummy worms in the center console from the last time we filmed a car video and picks them up to show me.

“Okay, candy? What about candy?” He says as if he just made some sort of scientific breakthrough.

“Kid, what the fuck are you talking about? Candy?” I laugh, completely confused.

“Yeah! We can swing by the store and you can get her her favorite candies and snacks, and you guys can watch a cute movie together or something? If you can’t tell her how you feel maybe you can show her through your actions.”

I thought about it for a second, and it honestly wasn’t a bad idea. I knew her favorite candy, snacks, movies, all that stuff. I know she loves comfy blankets for movie time. She also complains about not having a stuffed animal for her to cuddle when she sleeps over, and she usually steals one of Matt’s. All these thoughts came flooding into my head at once, and suddenly I had the best idea.

“Okay, I got it!. We’re going to need to stop at the store before we get her. You and Nick distract her when we get back to our place, and then find some excuse to leave. I have the perfect plan.” I say excitedly.

An enormous smile grows on Matt’s face. He clicks his seatbelt, and before he can back the car out of the driveway we see Nick striding out the door to the car. Matt rolls his window down.

“What the fuck are you two still doing in the driveway? I thought you were getting Y/N?” Nick says.

“Bro get in the car you’re coming with us we’ve gotta update you on Chris’s love affair!” Matt says jokingly making me laugh. Nick just rolls his eyes, and climbs in the backseat.

***

Y/N’s POV:

Chris had given me a call earlier to tell me that their manager, Laura, needed Nick and Matt for something at her house tonight so it would just be the two of us. She had apparently given them a call on their way out to pick me up so they were running late. Honestly, I was a little nervous that Chris and I would have the house to ourselves. I was always comfortable being alone with him in his room, and I’ve always hoping he’d take one of these nights to make a move. In my head I tried to convince myself he hasn’t made a move yet because his brothers were always home— worried they’d barge in and interrupt or something. I’ve had a HUGE crush on Chris, and I wasn’t super hopeful that he felt the same way because he’s never been a relationship type of guy. Plus, he always has girl friends, and I’m worried I probably just fall under the friend category in his eyes.

Finally, I see headlights shine through my front window and look to see Matt’s car in the driveway. I grab my purse and head out the door and open the car door to climb in the backseat. I was surprised to be met with Chris in the backseat, and Nick in the front with Matt.

“Fancy seeing you in the back. You’re never back here.” I say getting in my seat and clicking the seatbelt.

“Umm yeah, I— um.” Chris starts before Nick cuts him off.

“He was taking too long in the store so I hopped in the front.” I see Chris raise his eyebrows slightly at Nick, giving him a weird look.

“I didn’t know you guys went out. What were you getting?” I ask.

“Um just toiletries and stuff. Needed some, uh, shampoo.” Chris says shrugging his shoulders and breaking out eye contact. He seemed tense, but I brushed it off.

***

We pull into the driveway and I get out of the car making my way over to the trunk. The three boys get out and stand awkwardly behind the car with me.

“Did you want help bringing the stuff in?” I say and there was silence as the boys just awkwardly stared at each other, and then at me. “…From the store?” I continue.

“Oh no Chris’s got it. Matt and I wanna show you the updates we made to the podcast studio, come on!” Nick says grabbing my arm and leading me up the driveway to their front door leaving Chris behind to get stuff out of the trunk.

Matt, Nick, and I go inside and they immediately go upstairs to their studio, and I stop to hesitate at the bottom of the stairs.

“Should we wait for Chris?” I say. Matt turns around to look at me, and then shoots a glance to Nick.

“No he’s slow as fuck. Come on!” Nick yells. I laugh and make my way upstairs.

Matt and Nick start showing me decor and stuff around the studio. It honestly wasn’t anything that I haven’t already seen before, but I kept my mouth shut because it seemed very important for them to show me again. As they blabber on I see Chris run swiftly past the door, carrying a bunch of shopping bags, and going into his bedroom slamming the door. I became even more suspicious to his weird behavior.

Matt and Nick went on to me about the podcast episodes they were planning to film, but I was barely even listening since my thoughts were elsewhere. I’m snapped out of my daydreaming when Chris comes in and stands in the doorway.

“Okaaaay! You guys have to go to Laura’s, yeah?” Chris asks his brothers.

“Yes! Yes we do. Matt let’s get going!” Nick says to Matt and they eagerly start walking out of the room. Matt turns back and gives me a smile, “Have fun!” He says. Matt then gives Chris a pat on the shoulder before him and Nick make their way downstairs and out the door.

Why the hell were they all acting so weird?

I take a step towards Chris as he remains blocking the doorway.

“So, what do you wanna do?” I question, and a smirk creeps up on his face.

“I actually have a special movie night planned for us.” He says with that sweet smile of his I love so much.

“What makes it special?” I ask. He grabs my hand, making my breath hitch in my throat slightly at our touch. He leads me to his bedroom. Was this it? Was he making his move? I didn’t necessarily think he’d be so bold as to bed me right away, but I also wasn’t complaining. I thought to myself before he proves me wrong. He opens his bedroom door and leads me inside, and I smile big once I see what he’s done.

His bed is full of pillows from both his room and the spare bedroom, and they’re covered in a huge blanket. There’s another sherpa blanket on the bed with a cute teddy bear on my side where I usually sleep. On his nightstand is a bowl of popcorn, and bags of my favorite candies. He had turned his ceiling lights off and had fairy lights draped over his headboard illuminating the room. Also lighting the room was his TV which had one of my favorite Disney movies cued up ready to watch.

Chris steps back as I walk around the room taking it all on.

“Chris! This is so sweet!” I gawk as I jump into his bed and wrap myself in the softest blanket and he follows suit. We lay in his bed together in silence for a moment before he grabs the teddy bear and handing it to me with a smile. I take the bear from his hands and wrap it tight in my arms.

Chris’s POV:

“Chris, what’s all this for?” Y/N asks looking at me with her beautiful eyes.

I knew that she’d ask why I went all out. I had ran a couple scenarios of her possible questions in my head, and embarrassingly enough I may or may not have practiced what I was going to say with Nick in the car earlier…

“Well, it’s for you.” Duh? Chris I think that’s kinda obvious you dumb fuck. I don’t think any amount of practicing could’ve prepared me to face the prettiest, sweetest girl I’ve ever met in my life. I could feel my heart beating faster with each passing moment. She smiles, her eyes softening, and she scootches closer to me.

“You did all this for me? Why?” She asks sweetly. I knew she’d love the surprise, but also knew she’d be confused.

I really tried my best to prepare for this talk, but I was still so nervous. I didn’t know what to say.

I take a deep inhale before starting the conversation.

“I— I did this for you because I wanted to. Well I mean obviously I wanted to or else I wouldn’t have done this. What I mean is I want to show you what I think of you. Or, I mean, how I feel… and I— ugh.” I sigh and burry my face in my hands now completely embarrassed from my nervous rambling. “I don’t know how to use my words.” I mumble into my hands.

I feel a soft, gentle hand on mine pulling it slowly from my face, and I’m met with Y/N as her eyes lock on mine. When my hands are back down in my lap she reaches her hand up to gently cup my cheek, not breaking eye contact. Her eyes flicker from mine down to my lips, and back up to mine before speaking;

“Then don’t use your words…”

I bring my hand up to lay on top of hers cupping my cheek, and I lean in to her touch. I bring my other hand gently to the nape of her neck and pull her closer. Her face is mere inches away from mine. Our eyes breaking contact and moving to our lips. She slowly closes her eyes, and I pull her in fully and plant my lips on hers.

Her lips were soft. Sweet, even. They molded perfectly with mine as we kiss. The kiss is gentle and eager at the same time. I’ve only ever dreamed of this moment, and I can’t believe it’s finally happening.

We pull away from our kiss, our foreheads still touching. I open my eyes first to look at her, and when she opens hers a sweet smile creeps on her lips making me laugh softly.

“Hi.” I say in a whisper.

“Hi Chris.”

“I really like you, Y/N.”

“I really like you too.”

She pulls me in, this time with more force, and plants a passionate kiss on my lips.

We continue to kiss for a moment before I pull back.

“Will you be my girl?” I ask.

She smiles, nodding her head feverishly before bringing her lips back to mine and throwing her hands around my neck.

I’m in heaven.

**********

I honestly didn’t know how to end this and I’m kinda cringing but oh well.

Happy Thanksgiving y’all! 🦃

— Kay 🖤

[onlyhereforthestories]

Bumpy History - Part 2 (Aitana Bonmati x Reader)

I'm so sorry this took so long I went home for the weekend and got busy seeing family. Here is part 2 now! Part one here

Today was the day, you had spent the summer figuring out what you felt for Aitana and running through your head what you wanted to do in terms of those feelings and you had come to the same conclusion every time you thought about it. you wanted to get to know her. You wanted to know the way she worked, you wanted to know what she thought about thing and more than anything you wanted to get to know what made her, well her.

You had spent a lot of your summer away with various girls on the team, this included a week away with Leila and Patri in Mallorca, as well as a weekend trip with Alexia to Malaga. During all these trips you spoke to the people you were with about what you wanted to do and what it meant for you.

Patri was the one who told you to go for it as soon as the team got back together for preseason training and that’s how you found yourself here. The team had gone out to the pitch for warm-ups, Aitana was the last one to have her check-up so was slightly later and so you waited. All the confidence you had built up went when she strolled into the changing room in her football shorts and a sports bra.

“Mierda, y/n you scared me. I thought I was the last one. What are you still doing here you should be training.” You couldn’t stop your eyes from wandering to admire the woman’s mid-drift, well that was until she cleared her throat.

You brought your eyes back up to her face only to see her eyebrows raised and a slight teasing glint in her eyes. “Lo siento, I um wasn’t expecting this. I wanted to speak to you if that is okay?” You could feel your cheeks heating up, why this woman turned you into a gay mess with one look at her abs you would never know.

“Sure but we have training so make it quick.” She wandered over and sat next to you, still without a top on.

You contemplated your next words for about a second before saying fuck it and speaking. “Put a shirt on first please, you're distracting me.” If you were shy before, the woman was seeing it fading in front of her eyes. She gave you a slightly confused look but got up and grabbed her training top before joining you again.

“Okay, so I have spent the whole summer thinking about our history and how we’ve interacted over the years and how I want that to change. I don’t know what happened when we were younger but I know that neither of us wants to communicate that way anymore. Well for you it seems like you don’t want to communicate at all and if you don’t then obviously I’ll have to respect that and walk away but I know I don’t want that.” You paused to look at the woman sitting next to you and were met with her eyes focused fully on you, and when she nodded you knew she was listening and you could carry on. “You are on my mind a lot. The last year I have been wondering more and more how you spend your days when we are training or playing, I’ve wanted to make sure you are okay when you look sad. I want to be one of the people you laugh with at training, but most of all I want to get to know the real you. Not the one you semi-show me now.”

You both sat there next to each other thinking over what you had just said, and when a few minutes passed you knew she wasn’t going to say anything. “Okay I understand, I’ll see you out there.” You tried to keep the hurt out of your voice but you knew you were never good at hiding your emotions.

You didn’t speak to anyone all session, you were all in your head and beating yourself up forever thinking you were good enough for someone. After the warm down you ignored both Leila and Patri’s shouts for you to wait up and you walked straight out of the grounds and to your car. What you weren’t expecting was to turn your key in the ignition and look in your rearview mirror only to see Aitana standing there stopping you from reversing out the space.

You wound down your window and stuck your head out the opening, “Aitana move, I just want to go home.” You were desperate and you could hear it in your own voice but you didn’t care, all you wanted to do right now was cry out the rejection.

“I’m coming with you.” She didn’t give you a choice in the matter just walked down the side of the car and got in the passenger side. You didn’t have the strength to fight her on this one, not when you saw Leila and Patri approaching.

“Okay fine but I don’t have anything more I want to say to you.” And with that, you pulled out of the stadium leaving behind two very confused best friends.

The journey home was silent, neither you nor Aitana said a word. Both take the time to think through what had happened today and what you wanted to do about it. Aitana was going between looking at you and out the window next to her, her mind a mess of ifs, buts and what-ifs. You on the other hand spent the whole time putting all your energy into keeping your eyes on the road and not on the woman beside you. You could feel her eyes on you on and off and it was making it hard to focus.

When you pulled up at your apartment complex you didn’t give the woman in your passenger seat the chance to even undo her seatbelt before you were out of the car and heading towards the entrance. Aitana grabbed both your bags from the floor in front of her and sped to catch up with you, which she did just as you were stepping into the elevator.

As the elevator doors closed, you both stood in silence. The tension in the air was thick, and neither of you seemed sure on how to break it. Aitana shifted nervously from one foot to the other, before finally breaking the silence. "Y/n, I didn't mean to upset you earlier. I really wasn't expecting you to say all those things, and I didn't know how to respond," Aitana admitted, her voice filled with emotion.

You glanced at her, seeing a vulnerability in her eyes that you hadn't expected. It was a stark contrast to the aloofness she had displayed on the field. "I understand," you replied, your voice softer now. "I know I surprised you, and I'm sorry if I put you on the spot. It's just… I've been thinking about it for a long time, and I wanted to be honest with you."

The elevator reached your floor, and you both stepped out. Aitana followed you to your apartment door. You hesitated for a moment before turning to face her. "Aitana, I don't want things to be awkward between us. I really do want to get to know you better and be friends. But if you're not comfortable with that, I'll respect your boundaries." She looked at you, and you could see a mix of emotions in her eyes. After a moment, she nodded slowly. "I want to get to know you too, Y/n," she admitted. "I've always been guarded, and it's hard for me to open up to people." You offered a warm smile, feeling a sense of relief and joy that she was willing to see what could come of getting to know each other.

"I understand, let's take it one step at a time there is no need to rush. We can start by training together, then maybe getting to know each other better outside of Barca, and see where it goes from there." The smile on Aitana’s face appeared as soon as you finished speaking. "That sounds like a great plan."

With that being said, you exchanged phone numbers, and Aitana said she'd text you later to speak about training plans. As you both said your goodbyes, you couldn't help but feel a sense of hope. Maybe, just maybe, this was the beginning of a new chapter in your bumpy road with Aitana. Who knows what could come of this but what you did know was that you will be glad to see the back of the tension.

[roosterforme]

The Curveball Part 6 | Bob Floyd x OC

Summary: Bob fears that things with Molly are a lot more physical than emotional for her. But when Molly gets a visit from Casey, it helps her recognize just how strong her feelings for Bob really are. 

Warnings: Fluff, angst, swearing, 18+

Length: 5400 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC (this story accompanies Batting Practice!)

Check my masterlist for more! The Curveball masterlist

Thank you to @mak-32 and @teacupsandtopgun for the beautiful banners!

Bob checked the time while he made dinner and smiled. Molly would be over soon. She never gave his key back, and he never asked for it back. It had been on her keyring for a few weeks, and he loved it when she let herself in and called his name. 

He heard the key in the door and froze, closing his eyes to let her voice wash over him. "Bobby?"

"In the kitchen, Mo," he answered. She looked perfect to him even though she came right from work. And Bob wanted her immediately. But the way she always initiated sex with him as soon as she saw him was starting to become a red flag. So he held back. Or he tried to. But her arms were around his waist, and her lips were on his neck, and she was whispering something dirty.

He was the one constantly whispering that he loved her. But she hadn't said it back. Not once. And now, in spite of himself, he was getting hard for her as she took his hands and guided them up the front of her scrubs top and inside her sports bra.

Immediately his brain told him something new and exciting was going on, and then Molly said, "I got something for you." He ran his thumbs across her nipples. The little bars he liked so much were gone, which sent him into a state of panic. But as she peeled off her top and her bra, Bob's heart started pounding. A strangled sound escaped him as he looked at Molly's nipples which were now sporting delicate gold rings with charms hanging from them. Glasses charms. 

"Honey," he moaned, dipping his head down to taste her there before he could even comprehend what he was doing. And a moment later, when Bob was laying on his living room floor with his pants pulled down and Molly riding him, he thought perhaps he was part of the problem. 

As he fingered the tiny glasses charms and enjoyed the look and feel of her bouncing on his cock, he realized that he couldn't keep his hands off her for more than five minutes. When he was with Molly, he wanted to be with her in every way. And he still didn't even know what this relationship was. But he knew he could make her cum. He was good at it. Loved doing it. 

She collapsed on him, shaking and moaning his name, and he thought he'd gladly do anything to hear her say she loved him.

"What's for dinner?" she asked. "Something healthy?" she added, climbing off of him and letting his cum drip onto his abs. She knelt down to lick him clean, and then he got to his feet as well. Bob was just in awe of her. 

"Pasta and salad," he replied, and she kissed his chin and looked up at him with the softest eyes. He wished he could better understand this balance they had which was far skewed in the physical direction. But when she looked at him like that, he felt like everything was okay.

The following day, Molly had to work a day shift. It was Saturday, and Bob was exhausted at the tee ball game. She kept him up half the night with her hands and mouth and pussy all over him. He had literally no idea how Molly was going to manage an eight hour shift when he could barely focus for a one hour game. Plus, he was going to pick Molly up after work and take her to the bar. 

"You okay?" Bradley asked him with a smirk. "Damn, you look beat."

Bob sighed and fixed his baseball cap. Maybe he could talk to Bradley about his apprehensions. "Molly came over last night, and she barely let me sleep-"

Bradley grimaced. "Please. Say less."

Bob cradled his face in his palms. "I'm trying to be serious here, okay? I think she is way more into me physically than emotionally. And trust me, this is an issue I never dreamt I would have with a woman."

"Bob," Bradley said with a sigh. "As much as I do not want to know details of any sort... are the two of you doing anything together besides fucking? Like going out? Binge watching a series on TV? Cooking meals? Talking about shit?"

"Yes," he replied. "She's got me addicted to serial killer documentaries. I take her out for sushi at least once a week. But she's not allowed to cook anything in my kitchen after the smoke detector scare. And we went for a hike last weekend. The other night, we laid on her living room floor and talked for hours. But I'm telling you, everything begins and ends with sex. Her hands were down my pants in the grocery store parking lot a few nights ago."

Bradley snorted. "You're fine, Bob. You're actually living the dream and complaining about it. You have a girlfriend who wants you in some capacity or another around the clock. Just enjoy it."

But that was the other problem. Molly wasn't actually his girlfriend. Was she? Did she think she was? Would he sound like an idiot if he asked for confirmation? Bob wanted confirmation, but he had no idea how to ask. And now it was time to start practice. 

Every time Bob glanced toward the bleachers and saw Molly's sister, he had to do a double take. But while she was cheering for Everett, she was also subtly waving to Bradley. Thank goodness they had made up. 

After the Tiny Eagles won, Bob went home, took a shower, and then took an afternoon nap. He hadn't done this since he had the flu a few years ago. He woke up just in time to leave to pick Molly up from work and take her to the Hard Deck. He changed into jeans and a shirt and fixed his hair. If she didn't get a chance to change after her shift, he'd stop by her place and let her get ready there. 

Now that Nat had met Molly, she kept asking Bob to bring her out to the bar, and finally tonight they were both off. But he was nervous to have her around all the guys. His friends would be bad enough, but the bar was a hangout for naval officers, and women were a hot commodity there. 

When he pulled into the hospital parking lot, it was packed. Bob thought he saw her car two aisles over as he parked his truck and hopped out to go meet her. And there she was, walking toward her car with her backpack slung over one shoulder and her ID lanyard in her hand. She hadn't spotted him yet, so he just stopped to admire her. She'd changed into some high-waisted white shorts and a light blue crop top with one of Bob's dress shirts unbuttoned over it. The sleeves were rolled up to her elbows, and she was quite effortlessly the hottest woman Bob had ever encountered in his life. 

But when she got to her car, Bob watched her expression turn annoyed. He wasn't sure how he missed it, but there was a guy on a motorcycle parking her in. When Molly got close to him, he hopped off, and Bob could hear Molly say, "Casey."

Bob's blood ran cold. She was meeting him here, in the parking lot where she was supposed to be meeting Bob. Molly had reassured him that she was done with Casey, and he had believed her. She promised Bob that he was the only guy she was seeing. He was three parking spots away now, but he couldn't seem to make himself close the distance to Molly. He could almost feel the rejection from here. Yet she didn't look quite happy that Casey was in her personal space. 

He was trying to give her a bouquet of the wrong kind of flowers. She liked gas station flowers. Didn't this guy know anything? And now he had Molly caged in against her car. He was going to kiss her. Bob stumbled closer, and then Casey actually did kiss Molly's cheek right next to her mouth. 

Bob needed to leave. He needed to go back home. Watching this unfold was going to shatter his heart. 

"Fuck you, Casey," Molly said, shoving him away. He was big, and he didn't really budge, but Molly looked pissed off now. "You're only here because you want to get laid."

"Come on, sexy. I got you flowers. I'll take you for a ride to the beach. It'll be fun."

"Not interested," she replied, but he was still right there, practically touching her.

"Why haven't you been texting me back?" he asked, his voice getting a little more gruff. 

She rolled her eyes and said, "I'm seeing someone else."

"So am I. Doesn't mean we can't fuck around. Nobody fucks like you. I missed these, too," he said, chuckling while he reached for Molly's shirt, swiping his thumb along the fabric near her nipples as she shoved him again.

Bob was running now, fists clenched as he shouted, "Hey!"

Molly and Casey both turned to face him as he rushed across the aisle, and while Casey looked irritated and mildly confused, Molly's face lit up in a beautiful smile. 

"Bobby," she sighed, stepping right into his arms and pressing her cheek to his chest. He held her close, but he didn't take his eyes off Casey. 

"This the guy you're seeing?" he asked with a laugh. 

Molly didn't have a chance to respond before Bob said in a voice with an undercurrent of rage, "You don't touch her." 

There must have been something in his tone, because Casey didn't respond. He just set the flowers down on the top of Molly's car as she pressed her lips to Bob's neck. Her fingers were in his hair as she whispered, "I missed you all day."

"Molly, are you okay?" Bob asked, and she pulled away from him and nodded.

"Yeah, I'm good." Then she raised her middle finger in the air and said," Fuck off, Casey," as the other man climbed on his motorcycle and rode away. "He's just mad because I don't want him anymore."

"He doesn't get to touch you, Honey," Bob whispered, tracing the perfect curve of her bottom lip with his thumb. "I love you." He'd said it several times before, but usually in the dark, and never while making eye contact with her. She kissed his thumb and then his lips, but she didn't respond the way he had hoped. 

"Only you get to touch me," she murmured against his mouth, and Bob's heart was pounding for a different reason now as the sound of the motorcycle faded away. "Just you."

"Mo, Honey." His big hands were on the soft skin of her waist, tucked inside his shirt that she was wearing. She skipped a bra. Bob could see the shape of those pretty new rings through her crop top. And she was kissing him, giving him her soft moans as he held her. 

"I thought we were going to the bar," she whispered, smiling in the dying sunlight as his hands slid down to her butt. "Wanna see my new friend, Nat."

Bob stroked her lip again. "You'll stay with me the whole time, yeah? Me or Nat. The whole time."

"I will," she promised, looking very pleased with herself. Looking like she had Bob exactly where she wanted him.

------------------------

The drive was pretty quiet as Bob gripped the steering wheel and drove exactly the speed limit. 

"So...my sister told me the Tiny Eagles won today."

"Yeah," he grunted in response. Molly sat quietly, unsure how to respond to him when he was like this. He was never like this.

After a mile or so, he asked, "Did you tell Casey to meet you at your car?"

Molly laughed. "Are you serious right now? No!"

"Then why was he there, Mo?"

She turned to face him as he drove, street lights illuminating his face with a golden glow. "The hospital was probably the only place he could find me. I've been avoiding his calls and texts, and I'm at your place more often than I'm at mine."

"Why does he think it's okay to touch you like that?" he asked. His voice sounded calm, but Molly could tell he had to work at it.

"I guess.... because I'd never told him no before," she said softly. "Are you mad at me?"

"At you?" he asked with a bitter sounding laugh. "No. Not at you. Maybe at myself a little bit." He pulled into the bar parking lot and found a spot in the back corner where it was dark. Molly could only make out his profile and the silver glint of his glasses when she unbuckled her seatbelt and turned to face him.

"Don't be mad, Coach Bob. Casey is just upset that I moved on and that he has a tiny penis, and he can't do anything about either of those."

She crawled across the seat, and even though she could tell he didn't really want to, he welcomed her in his lap. She straddled his thighs and kissed him, and after a few seconds, he was kissing her back. He was a little rough, and Molly was whining softly as his lips found her collar bones and her neck.

She rubbed herself against him. He was rock hard in his jeans, and she was already panting and clenching around nothing. She needed him, just like she always did. Her hands went to his zipper, and he didn't fight it as she pulled him free from his jeans. 

"Bobby," she gasped when his hands eased her shirt up, and he leaned down to kiss her nipples. She was still wearing the new glasses rings she bought in his honor, and he was pulling them into his mouth one at a time and sucking. She struggled out of her shorts, only glancing around briefly to make sure nobody was watching. It didn't really matter though as long as she could feel him inside her. So she yanked her panties to the side and hissed in pleasure as she sank down around his cock.

"Molly," he grunted, brow creased as he looked at her. He shook his head before he grabbed her by the back of the neck and smashed his lips against hers. When Bob thrust up into her, she screamed, the sound muffled by his mouth. His unfastened belt buckle was rubbing against her clit, and she was already shaking. 

"Oh my god," she squealed, pulling his hair for leverage as she rode him rough until she was cumming, back arched in pleasure. Then he grabbed her by the hips and fucked her until he was groaning and whining. His mouth found her breasts again as he filled her up with his cum. Molly held onto him while she shook. She hoped he didn't mind a mess on the front of his jeans, because she wasn't exactly sure how they'd make it out of the truck looking tidy. 

"God damn it, Molly!" Bob growled, panting and tipping his head back against the seat. He was looking at the ceiling, trying to catch his breath. But he sounded annoyed, and now Molly just wanted to go get her car and go home for the night, because she felt like she was doing everything wrong. 

"What?" she asked softly. He came. It wasn't like the quickie wasn't good for him. Hell, he was still inside her.

But when he tipped his head to look at her again, he looked so sad. She felt tears sting her eyes as he asked, "Is it just physical for you, Honey? Is that all this is?"

"What are you talking about?" she gasped, yanking her shirt down to cover herself. She reached for his hand, and he let her lace her fingers with his. 

Bob took a deep breath and said, "I'm talking about me and you." He couldn't even meet her eyes. He was looking at her cheek as he added, "You initiate sex all the time. I need to know. Is this just physical to you?" He was gesturing between their bodies with his free hand, and Molly's heart plummeted into her stomach.

"Bob," she gasped. "No." She kissed him, but he kept his mouth firm. "No," she whispered against his lips. "It's not just physical."

"Molly, you know I can't say no to you," he said, voice raspy. "You're just going to keep messing me up every single time, aren't you? I don't even know what we're doing here. I don't know what this is. You've got me so confused about what you want."

"You!" she practically shouted. "I want you!"

He closed his eyes. "You're all over me like this. But I don't like the way my heart feels."

Molly sobbed. This was a new low, even for her. The man she loved was actually still inside her, and he was about to tell her he didn't want to see her anymore. "But Bob... I love how I feel when I'm with you."

He looked miserable. "I know. I know you said I can make you orgasm, and you said I'm big."

"Not like that!" she gasped. He was cradling his forehead in his hand as she added, "I've never felt this happy around a man before. Not just because you're good in bed, Bobby. I've never needed someone physically all the time like this, because I've never been in love like this. I love you."

He opened his eyes and softly asked. "You do?"

She nodded and swiped at her tears. "Of course I do. It's just... I've never said that before. I've never been in love before. Showing you how I feel physically is the easiest way for me to try to make you understand that."

She was shaking with unshed tears as Bob pulled her against him and kissed her ear and the side of her neck. "I'm sorry," she gasped. "I've never been with someone who loved me."

"I do, Molly. I love you. I want you to be my girlfriend," he whispered, running his big hands up and down her back.

"I kind of thought I already was," she replied with a soft laugh. She kissed his cheek. "But yeah, I definitely am now."

"Perfect." Bob's voice finally sounded calm, and this time when she kissed his lips, he returned every single one. 

"I've been thinking it for weeks, but I was scared to say it," she told him, her eyes fluttering closed. "Only two other people alive have ever heard those words from me, so if you think you're not important, Coach Cute Glasses, you're wrong." She opened her eyes, kissed the tip of his nose and said, "I love you."

------------------------

Only a minimal mess was made when Molly eventually eased herself off of Bob's lap after telling him she loved him about a hundred more times and assuring him it was not just physical. Now they were both fully dressed and walking across the parking lot toward the bar entrance hand in hand. 

"Is it bad that I'm a little nervous to meet the rest of your friends?" she whispered, looking up at him. 

"Don't be nervous. If anything, I'm the one who's nervous, Honey. They're all going to flirt with you relentlessly and try to get me flustered."

Molly laughed as he held the door open for her, and she walked inside the noisy bar where the jukebox was blaring. "I'll just tell them we had sex in the parking lot ten minutes ago. Then they will be the ones who are flutered."

"Please don't," he groaned. "And, Mo? Is it okay if I just do this...." He reached for the front of the dress shirt she had on and did the middle button. He knew he was blushing as he said, "I don't really want these guys looking at you there."

She smirked. "You don't want to make them jealous?"

Bob's lips parted in a soft smile before he kissed her forehead. "Just look at your face, Mo. Gorgeous. They'll be plenty jealous without knowing about your piercings."

"Bob," she whined. "Stop being so perfect, okay? Perfect boyfriends get blowjobs whenever they want them."

He was still blushing as he led her toward the pool table where the other aviators, minus Bradley, were all hanging out. "There they are!" Nat said, hopping off of her stool and heading toward them. And then Bob had to watch every single one of the guys look Molly up and down like she was a dessert platter while she gave Nat a little hug.

"Holy shit," Jake said, eyes soft as he laughed. "Bob, come on. Phoenix said you were bringing the girl you're dating."

"Yeah," Bob confirmed, rubbing his forehead with his hand.

"Bob," Jake gasped. "She's fucking hot."

"I know," he replied as Molly reached for his hand. "Guys, this is Molly. My girlfriend."

You could have heard a pin drop in the corner of the bar. Nat sighed and rolled her eyes before kicking Payback in the shin. He stumbled forward and offered Molly his hand. "Hi, I'm Payback. Or Reuben."

"Hi," Molly replied, shaking his hand. "I kind of wish I had a fun call sign. I'm just Molly."

"Oof," Jake whispered. "I can't think of a few call signs for her."

"Don't," Bob pleaded, shooting him a look.

"She's a smokeshow, Bob," Jake told him with pride in his voice. "I don't know how you did it, but excellent job."

"Thanks," he muttered, watching Fanboy and Coyote flirt and laugh with her. A moment later, Nat was leading Molly up to the bar to get drinks, and Bob dug his wallet out of his pocket. He tried to hand it to her, but she just kissed his cheek and whispered, "I love you," before pushing it back against his chest.

"How the hell did you manage to pull that one?" Coyote asked, watching Molly walk away in her tight shorts. "I've got to know."

"Seriously, Bob," Fanboy chimed in. "I mean, not to be rude, man, but damn."

Now his self esteem was taking a bit of a hit again, but when Molly came back, she pushed him down onto a stool and perched herself on his thigh. She handed him one of the beers she was holding and kissed him. "I love you," she crooned with a soft smile. "The more I say it, the better it feels." 

She sipped her drink as he wrapped his arm around her waist. Then they played a little pool and threw some darts, and Molly was never far from his arms. The guys were all still looking at him like he was some sort of magician, but she didn't seem to notice. She loved him. She kept telling him she loved him. 

She said it right in front of Nat, and Bob watched his friend blush, too. Because now Molly was a little tipsy, and she had her hand on his abs under his shirt. "Bobby, we should go home soon. I love you, and I wanna fuck you."

"Mo," he gasped, kissing the top of her head. "I love you, too. But everyone else can hear you, Honey."

"I don't care," she replied, licking his neck before she smiled at the guys. "You don't care if I tell Bob I love him and wanna fuck him, do you?"

They all looked at her, wide eyed and shaking their heads. 

"See, Lieutenant Floyd? They don't care."

Bob lasted another five minutes before she was dragging him out to the parking lot, ready to go home. 

--------------------------

Bob had Molly draped across him in bed on Sunday morning. The sky outside looked a little stormy, so they used that as an excuse to not move. "Let's just say put," he whispered, running his fingers along her arm. Goosebumps broke out in their wake, and she sighed. 

"Not even worth moving when we're so comfortable," she told him, squeezing his side. 

He was feeling so much better now about the way Molly responded to him physically. Now he knew that she loved him. They were in a relationship with a label. He thought he'd be able to enjoy the physical romance as much as he was enjoying the emotional romance now. 

Then their quiet cuddling was interrupted by his phone going off four times in a row with new text messages. Bob kissed her forehead and murmured, "Just when I was ready to stay right here until it was time for you to go to work."

Molly giggled and rolled off of him to reach for his phone. "I have to pee anyway." She handed him his phone and his glasses, and Bob watched her sashay out of his room completely naked. 

He groaned as he opened a bunch of messages from his sister Rebecca. "Oh no." He never responded to her about going to Piper's birthday party which was now just six days away. Really, he only wanted to go if Molly went with him, but asking her to meet his family was stressing him out. 

"What's wrong?" she asked, already climbing back into bed with him. His eyes were trained on her nipples as she eased herself down against his chest. The way her piercings pressed against him somehow calmed him now. He was just so used to her being here. 

"Do you want to go to Piper's birthday party with me?" he blurted out.

She ran her fingers through his hair with a smile. "When is it? I might have to change my work schedule."

"Saturday afternoon. Up in San Bernardino. And look, we haven't been dating very long, and my whole family is going to be there, so if you don't want to go, Honey, I totally understand."

"Oh," she gasped softly. "You want me to meet your family, Uncle Bob?"

He closed his eyes, unwilling to lie to her. "Desperately." He cracked one eye open to find her grinning at him before easing herself down his body.

"Perfect boyfriends get blowjobs," she reminded him before disappearing beneath the covers and wrapping her lips around him. She really must have thought he was perfect based on the way she got him off. And when she was done, she licked his tongue and told him she'd go to the birthday party. 

But when Saturday came, Bob found out that Molly had to give up her daytime shift to accommodate the party. She tried to shrug it off when he picked her up. "I'm just a little worried about making my rent with a day short of pay, but it'll be fine," she told him, slipping into his truck with the gift she insisted on buying. "I have money in savings."

Bob was about to tell her he'd pay her rent, but she leaned across the seat and kissed every viable thought out of his brain. So he put his truck in gear while Molly was in charge of the music, and the ninety minute drive to his parents' house felt like nothing when he was with her. 

When he pulled down their driveway, Molly was wiping her palms on her sundress. "I'm a little nervous," she admitted. "I've never met parents before." Once again, Bob couldn't understand how he was lucky enough to be Molly's first for so many things.

"They'll love you. My sister Rachel is ridiculous. You'll like her. And I'll be with you the entire time."

She nodded and crawled out his door behind him and into his arms. "If they don't like me, I'm blaming you." 

The introductions were even more shocking than the night at the Hard Deck in that Bob's entire family was looking at Molly with mixed expressions. Rebecca was excited to see her again since they had already met. Even Piper gave Molly a quick hug. But Bob's parents and his middle sister were looking at him with his arm around Molly with barely concealed shock. 

"I don't think they like me," Molly whispered, trying to dig her feet in.

"That's not it, Mo," he promised. "It's more like they can't believe I didn't make you up."

When Molly shook hands with his mom and then his dad and then Rachel, they all glanced at him. "Welcome!" his mom said. "The way Bob speaks about you, well... you seemed too good to be true, Molly!"

She shrugged with a little laugh. "Well, I'm just regular, old me."

"No, that's not true," Rachel replied with a smirk. "Bob must be ready to buy a ring or something, because the last time he brought a girl home, she dumped him the next day. And he vowed to never bring another one unless he was going to marry her."

Molly turned to look at Bob where he stood behind her. "Thanks, Rachel," he said with a fake smile and an unspoken promise that she would pay for that later. "Your mind is like a steel trap, isn't it?"

Rachel just shrugged and ate some potato chips. "Just keeping you honest. Anyway, Molly, it's really nice to meet you. I'll see you at your wedding."

Bob wanted to disappear. Betrayed by his own sister. He always did like Rebecca better. But then Molly surprised him by saying, "I'll let you know the color for the bridesmaids dresses."

Rachel smiled at her. And then his dad was taking her on a tour of their house. And then his mom was laughing as Molly told a funny story about a mishap in the emergency room. And then Molly was running around outside with the kids. 

"Bob, where did you find her?" his mom asked, grabbing him by the forearm and shaking him.

"At tee ball," he replied softly, watching Molly laughing as Piper sat down on her lap.

"Please, bring her back again. For a longer visit. When I have more time to talk to her."

"I will, mom."

---------------------------

Molly was exhausted when she said her goodbyes to Bob's family. The kids had worn her out all afternoon. But when his mom pulled her in for a hug, she felt like crying. She couldn't remember the last time she got a mom hug from anyone other than her own sister. And it felt so good, she ended up hugging her back for probably way longer than was actually appropriate.

"Thanks," Molly whispered. "Thanks for having me."

When his mom pulled away and looked at her, she said, "Bob promised me he'd bring you back again soon. I know he must be very serious about you, so hopefully we won't have to wait too long for another visit."

Molly swallowed past the lump in her throat, and she didn't know what compelled her to say anything as she whispered, "I love your son," like some sort of a lunatic. It must have been all the mom hugs that made her feel weak.

But he mom replied by pulling her in for another hug before Bob took her by the hand and led her out to his truck. It was getting dark, and the ride back to San Diego would get them in late. But Molly already knew she was welcome to crash with Bob for the night. She knew he would want her to.

But she was still surprised when Bob started rambling as he merged onto the highway. "I know it's probably too soon. And maybe I shouldn't even say anything. But I just can't seem to stop thinking about it. About how we never spend the night apart. Even when you work overnight, you end up in my bed in the morning. Or I end up at your place, just waiting for you to get home so we can go to sleep together." He paused, and she reached for his hand. He glanced her way with a nervous smile before he blurted out, "Molly, do you want to move in with me?"

"Oh," she gasped, delighted by the idea of if. In love with the idea of handing him his glasses every morning and knowing he would make her breakfast. Being together to binge watch documentaries and eat sushi. "Yes."

--------------------------

Moving in together! So, Bob is a stud. Was he always a stud, or does Molly bring it out in him? Thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls and everyone who bugged me to make Molly and Bob a thing!

PART 7

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[luvhughes43]

Clingy | Luke Hughes x reader

Request: Heyy can I request a Luke hughes fic where him and the reader are dating (long term) and she tends to get really clingy and overly emotional when she’s about to get her period, and she over hears him calling her clingy to the boys as he’s forgotten it’s that time? 

word count: 0.7k

you and luke had been dating for 2, going on 3 years now. you had thought he’d understood you perfectly, but you guessed you thought wrong.

every month like clockwork, when you were about to get your period you would start getting extra clingy with luke. He never seemed to mind, and you two would enjoy spending days cuddled up in his or your bed. but now that his schedule was more chaotic, and he and you have been going out more, you guessed he just got sick of how clingy you were.

“guys I can't even do anything anymore… y/ns been so clingy this past week!” you heard Luke tell his teammates as you stood outside the boys living room. you came to the house to spend some more time with Luke but he clearly was sick of it. “I swear I can't even go out without her sticking to my side all night!” Luke continued and your heart broke. “she can't seriously be jealous or something right? like honestly it’s getting so annoying” he finished.

It was then that you stepped into the living room. “You think I'm annoying…” you trailed off, clearly upset. the boys quickly noticed the tears building in your eyes so they hastily excused themselves to their rooms. 

“baby i just-“ Luke started but you cut him off.

“I'm just going to go” your voice broke. you couldn’t believe he thought you could've been jealous and that you were being annoyingly clingy. you just wanted him.

Luke let you go. 

a few days later he finally texted.

lukey🌷🫶: I’m really sorry about what I said. Can I see you?

y/n: i don’t want to talk to someone who thinks i’m annoying srry.

lukey🌷🫶: Please just talk to me? I swear if you want me to go I will.

y/n: fine .. meet me at my dorm in an hour?

lukey🌷🫶: I’ll be there

read 2:05pm

just as he promised, Luke was knocking on your dorm door an hour later. you reluctantly got off your bed and opened it. Luke looked a mess. you could clearly tell he felt bad about what happened. “I uh.. I got you a coffee "Luke spoke up, showing you the iced coffee in his hand. you took the coffee from him and opened up your door a little wider. He stepped in and sat on the edge of your bed. “I just want to tell you I'm sorry for what I said, y/n.. I just got frustrated", Luke started to apologize.

“Why did you tell your friends?” you cut into his apologies and he looked up at you surprised.

“I uh-“

“No seriously. If you thought I was being super clingy and annoying why didn’t you just tell me? it’s so embarrassing that’d you’d tell them! I seriously thought you didn’t mind me being clingy and to find out that you think I'm annoying by overhearing you talk about it with your friends… It really hurts luke! You should’ve told me yourself.” you started tearing up midway through your speech. you felt so embarrassed. 

he looked down at his hands, “I know, I shouldn’t have done it. I just needed to tell someone and the guys were there and… I don’t even know what to say” you sniffled. 

“I just feel like all this time you’ve been resenting me for getting clingy and I don't know…” you trailed off quietly. 

Luke got up off your bed and walked over to you, taking the coffee out of your hands and pulling you into a hug. He placed your coffee on your desk before he trailed his hands up and down your back. You rested your head in the crook of his neck. “I’m so sorry. I love you y/n” Luke whispered as he brought one hand up to stroke your hair, the other still rubbing up and down your sweater clad back. 

“I’m sorry too..” you whispered into his neck as you tightened your arms around him for a second before relaxing your hold again. 

Luke dragged you into your bed and you both caught up on the few days you were apart. You were still a little upset about him talking to his friends about you, but he assured you that next time he would talk to you first about issues regarding your relationship. 

[callmelittlebuttercup]

Peace Offerings

Pairing: Joel Miller x F!Reader

Summary: Joel makes a bad impression on the reader when he cuts in front of her at the radio station in the QZ. Abe, a father figure to her and an informant of Joel’s, informs her that the two have something in common: A brother in Wyoming. Joel reluctantly follows Abe’s wishes when he asks him to take the reader along to help find her brother too.

Series Warnings: 18+ Minors DNI, Violence, Grumpy!Joel, Potential Smut, Minimal depictions of reader's appearance (hair color/length.)

Masterlist

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Part One:

I rose early, eager to get to the radio station before the hoard of people lined up. I slipped on a pair of jeans and my brother’s old sweatshirt, and rubbed the soft fabric between my fingers. It had been three weeks since I’d last heard from him. I’d been checking to see if he’d contacted me every day, and today wasn’t any different. 

I made it to the building and walked up the stairs, my body sore from yesterday’s body burning shift. I was relieved to see that there were only a few people lined up outside the room. I stood behind an older woman. She had her hands clasped in front of her face and she was muttering something. It didn’t take me long to realize that the woman was praying. My heart ached a little. I was unable to imagine what the woman was going through, but if she was desperate enough to pray, to still believe in a god, it had to be bad. 

The line was slowly getting shorter and I was biting my nails nervously. I heard the man call out “Next!” and I jumped slightly before turning to walk in. As I entered the doorway, I felt something brush against me, almost pushing me to the side. I looked to see who had the nerve to cut in front of me, and I saw a tall, broad shouldered man with dark hair standing over Abe’s desk. I walked quickly to the man standing at the desk as he slid a small folded up piece of tinfoil towards Abe. “Excuse me, but I was next.” I said sternly. The man looked at me, his eyes traveled up and down my frame, and then he looked back to Abe, blatantly ignoring me. I looked at Abe with disbelief and the timid, older man stood there stuttering. I looked back to the man and stepped closer, holding my ground, “I said I was next.” This time he turned his body to face me, and stared down at me with cold, dark eyes. There weren’t many things that scared me these days, but the coldness and lack of empathy in the man’s eyes made my stomach twist. “I had an appointment. Wait your turn.” He said, his voice soft, deep, and lacking emotion. I scoffed and pushed past him to get closer to Abe’s desk. “Anything from Matt?” I asked as I leaned over and gripped the edge of the wooden desk. Abe continued to stare at me, his eyes shifting nervously to the man occasionally. “Abe, you seriously can’t seriously be thinking of letting him go before me.” I said, gazing back at the angry looking man behind me. “Joel hasn’t heard from his brother either. Same amount of time.” Abe stuttered. “Okay, and?” I pushed, folding my arms over my chest. “Both of the calls were from the same place,” he said quietly. The man behind me was clearly annoyed that Abe was sharing his information. “Wyoming?” The man, Joel, and I asked in unison. Abe nodded. 

I stood there, eyes shifting between the two men. The man named Joel had his arms folded across his chest and his eyes trained on the floor. “So you two can do what you will with that information.” Abe said as he sat in his chair and opened the tin foil pouch to reveal cigarettes. “So nothing new?” Joel asked. Abe shook his head side to side. “And for me?” I chimed in. “Nada.” Abe sighed as he lit the cigarette and took a few puffs. I sighed in frustration and turned to walk out the door. “Thanks, Abe.” I said before glaring at Joel and saying pettily, “Good luck with your brother.” 

I began to walk down the hall but paused outside the door. I couldn’t help myself from eavesdropping the rest of their conversation. I didn’t hear much since they were speaking quietly, but every now and then I would hear the man, Joel, get louder out of frustration. “I’m not taking her, Abe. I can barely keep myself alive, much less another person. Does she even know how to use a gun? Camp in the woods? I mean look at her.” His words caused me to clench my jaw in frustration. Yes, I knew how to use a gun. Yes I knew how to camp in the woods. “What a fucking prick.” I said under my breath. The conversation ended and I heard the man’s footsteps nearing the door. I stood up straight, preparing myself for confrontation once again. “You’re not taking me where?” I blurted as soon as I caught sight of him. He stopped in his tracks and looked at me before rolling his eyes and continuing on his path. I followed after him, having to jog to keep up with his rushed pace. “Hey! You cut in front of me so the least you could do is tell me what the fuck you were talking about on your ‘appointment.’” I pressed as I jogged down the stairs, almost tripping. He stopped and turned around at the door, his hand gripping the doorknob, “It was a private conversation that I paid for and is none of your damn business.” He turned the doorknob and walked out, not bothering to hold it open for me. 

I walked back to my dingy apartment and plopped down onto the dusty couch. I was still angry from the past confrontations and the rude, selfish man at the radio station. If he weren’t such an ass, I’d probably be planning out a route to find our brothers, but at this point, going alone seemed like it was the best option. I grabbed my map from in between the couch cushions and opened it. My eyes gazed over the intersecting lines and boundaries of the country. I traced a route from the Boston QZ to Wyoming with my finger. I did some mental math and figured out that I could make it there one foot in about 2 months. “Better start packing.” I whispered to myself before grabbing my backpack from beside the door and walking to my bedroom. I shoved a few changes of clothes, as much jerky as I could fit, a full canteen, my knife, ammo, and my handgun into the backpack. With a lot of difficulty, I finally got it closed and I flopped onto my bed. 

I hadn’t meant to fall asleep, and was jolted awake by a loud knock at my door. I sat up and blinked the sleepiness from my eyes before walking over to the entryway. I peered through the dust filled peephole and could only make out the figure of a man standing there. He went to knock again, but I pulled at the handle and the door swung open to reveal the man from earlier, Joel. I stared at him, unable to hide the confused and fearful expression on my face. He looked annoyed, “I knocked three times. Almost left.” He mumbled. “I was sleeping.” I said coldly, “What do you want- more importantly, how did you find me?” I questioned. “Abe.” He said as he pushed past me and walked into my apartment. “Make yourself at home.” I said snidely. He looked around, taking in the sadly decorated apartment. Pottery barn wasn’t easy to come by in the QZ. 

He walked to the kitchen counter and leaned backwards before crossing his arms over his chest once again. “So?” I asked, copying his position from across the room. He drew in a breath before saying “I’m going to Wyoming to find my brother. Abe asked me to take you with me. He’s done me a lot of favors, so I owe it to him.” I smiled at Abe’s concern for me. He had been like a father to me since I’d arrived in the Boston QZ. He’d done a lot of favors for me too. “You have a gun?” He asked, pulling me from my thoughts. I nodded. “You know how to use it?” I rolled my eyes and nodded again, “Yes, I do. My dad was a cop and would take me- anyway, yes I know how to use a gun. I also know how to camp in the woods, if you’re worried about that too.” I enjoyed the feeling of throwing his own words back in his face. He pressed his lips together and nodded, “We’ll leave this morning, before the sun comes up. If you’re a minute late I’m leaving without you.” He grunted as he pushed himself off of the counter and walked towards the door. “Wait,” I blurted, he stopped and looked back at me, his hand never leaving the doorknob, “Thank you.” He shook his head, “Don’t thank me. Thank Abe.” The door closed loudly behind him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Next Part | Masterlist

[luminouslywriting]

Chapter 14 (Mastermind)—MOTA Fic

A/N: This one is a lot.....so buckle up and put up with Bucky one more time (for now at least haha). As always, let me know what you think! Sorry I'm a little behind on answering requests....work has been insane this week and I haven't really written anything either!

The next morning came early for everyone—but for Ruth Sharpe, who had not slept at all, it was not early.  It was just another day.  In fact, when Helen and Tatty were just barely stirring from their precious few hours of sleep, they found that Ruth was already up, completely dressed, and busy at work with letters and paperwork. 

Helen blinked a few times, stifling a yawn that would surely carry over to Tatty.  “Don’t you sleep?” She questioned, giving a slight hiccup.  

Ruth glanced over in her direction, noting the messy hair and bags under Helen’s eyes.  “Finals week in law school had me up for a full 52 hours.  This is perfectly doable.” 

“You are truly terrifying, you know that?” Tatty said, finally pulling herself out of bed and slipping on her shoes. 

“So I’ve been told,” Ruth said, rising to her feet.  “I got you some water since you were both a little tipsy last night and there should be some ginger in the bathroom.” 

“You love us,” Helen chirped with a smile. 

“That I do,” Ruth replied, a small smile slipping onto the edges of her lips.  “Now if you ladies will excuse me, I want to talk to my brother before he goes up today.” 

“Ooh tell him we say hi!” Helen insisted. 

“And good luck,” Tatty murmured, pinching the bridge of her nose as her headache spread across her forehead. 

With that, Ruth exited the Red Cross hut and set out towards the mess hall—where the men would surely already be eating their food, or at least attempting to anyway.  The mood in the mess hall was a strange amalgamation of stress, nerves, excitement, and courage.  She wasn’t sure how they dealt with the plethora of emotions every single time a mission came up. 

Ruth was not surprised to find Abe, already chattering away at his table with his new squadron.  “Your six o’ clock,” Rosie said to Abe in a warning tone. 

Abe had no more turned around when he found Ruth standing behind him.  “Ruth!” Abe exclaimed.  

“Mind if we take a quick walk?” Ruth questioned, doing her best to keep her tone steady.  Truth be told, she felt as though she were going to be sick.  As though her knees were just going to collapse and she was going to just sink in on herself and never come back up. 

Abe shoveled the last bite of banana in his mouth, giving a nod.  “Yeah!” He gave a muffled reply that nearly had him spitting out food.  

“Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Came the united response from both Ruth and Rosie—both of whom just gave the same annoyed glance towards each other. 

“Sorry,” Abe said, cheeks burning ever so slightly.  He was quick to follow after his sister into the crisp fall air outside of the mess hall.  

Ruth’s burning gaze seemed to seep into his very soul as she looked him over.  She gave only a slight sigh as she adjusted his collar, hands resting on his shoulders.  “Have you prayed today?” She asked in a soft voice. 

Abe had been steeling himself for some sort of lecture or some sort of ploy of infractions to get him out of today’s mission.  What he hadn’t been prepared for was the softness and worry that was in his older sister’s tone.  Ruth was normally fearless—but right now, she just seemed very human.  Very motherly, too. 

“Yeah.  First thing I did this morning,” Abe promised her. 

“Me too,” Ruth replied softly.  Staring into his eyes, it was as if they were looking into a mirror.  They had the same eyes, they always had.  When Ruth was younger, she liked to go out with him and pretend that he was her baby.  That had quickly faded when she realized how much work children actually were—but the lingering thought that Abe was her responsibility, was part of her as much as she was a part of him—that hadn’t gone anywhere. 

And given the fact that their mother was an ocean away and had no idea that Abe was here or safe, Ruth felt the weight of that pressing down upon her shoulders. She was Atlas, she was Reuben, she was the one who was supposed to prepare the way for Abe. 

“Be on guard up there.  Don’t get distracted.  You just focus on your job.  Rosie and God will do the rest.” 

“That’s a lot of faith in Rosie.” 

“It’s a lot of faith in God,” Ruth corrected in a gentle tone.  “But I mean it.  You come back or I’ll have to move heaven and the earth to bring you back myself.” 

A soft smile spread across his features.  “You could certainly try.” 

“I’ll wrestle with the angels if I must.  Now go, you sweet boy.  And I’ll see you after it’s over.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Bremen mission had Ruth more nervous than she had ever been in her life.  It felt like her stomach was tied up in knots and someone was tugging on the rope holding the knots and swinging it back and forth like some sort of damn jump rope. 

At the moment though, she was solidly locked into the single most distracting conversation of her life—compliments of Jack Kidd being way too aware of her anxiety, given the fact that Abe was in the air.  “You’re kidding, right?” Kidd demanded, eyes wide as he nearly fell off his chair in the tower. 

“No, I’m not kidding,” Ruth said, setting her book down. 

“But—but—she’s the worst!  She’s practically the villain!” 

“I never said she wasn’t the worst.  I still like her.” 

“But she treats Rhett terribly.  And she was trying to steal Ashley the entire time!” Kidd exclaimed, nearly throwing his hands up in the air. 

“Yes,” Ruth agreed.  “She’s terrible.  She’s flawed.  But she’s also an ambitious woman.  Scarlett O’ Hara is many things.  But they could never make me hate her.  She’s a strong character in trying to achieve her goals.” 

“Shit, Ruthie,” Kidd just shook his head at her.  “And here I thought you’d like Melanie.” 

“I do…..I also think she’s rather boring,” Ruth admitted with a slight shrug. 

“But Melanie is so—” 

“Pure and good and kind and everything a mother wants in a daughter?  I suppose I find myself aligning more with Scarlett O’ Hara in the sense that my family thinks that I’m altogether too ambitious and ruthless.  That doesn’t mean I condone any of her actions.  I just like that she keeps trying to achieve what she wants and doesn’t give up.” 

“Maybe they ought to just put you in charge of a squadron,” Kidd cracked a smile. 

“I have no appetite for destruction and war.  Only justice,” Ruth retorted.  “It’s why I like Mr. Smith Goes to Washington.” 

“I forgot about that movie.” 

“It’s a favorite of mine,” Ruth said proudly.  “Now there’s a character who understands passion about what they believe is right and has the moral conduct and code to go after it.” 

Kidd didn’t get a chance to respond to that.  When the planes came flying into sight, it was as if the two of them were stuck.  And Ruth silently counted the planes, wondering where the hell in the lineup her brother would be. 

“Rosie’s plane is there,” Kidd said, eyes locked onto the skies. 

Almost immediately, a breath of relief tore from her throat like a cat’s snarl.  Ruth nearly collapsed on the spot, the knowledge that at least the plane had returned giving her a modicum of comfort.  

“Buck’s plane isn’t there,” Kidd’s expression was grim and Ruth felt like her stomach had just dropped an octave. 

“What?” 

“Shit….Bucky—” Kidd ran a hand through his hair. 

Ruth just placed a hand on Kidd’s shoulder.  “Interrogation first.  And then I can be the one to tell Egan.” 

“He’s not going to take this well.” 

“No.  He’s not.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ruth felt as though she were walking through some sort of damn graveyard.  Everything was grim and the men wore the faces of shells and haunted eyes seemed to jump out at her as she walked amongst them.  She caught sight of Bubbles, locked into a conversation with Crank. 

Nearly tripping over her own heels, Ruth made her way over to them.  “Who’s gonna tell Bucky?” Crank questioned, eyes flicking to Bubbles. 

“Don’t worry about that now,” Ruth insisted—her voice an unnaturally gentle thing on the wind.  

Crank just gave a nod.  “Thanks, Sharpe.” 

“Yeah,” Ruth’s gaze turned onto Bubbles and the way that he was nearly shaking like a leaf.  “No Crosby then?” 

“No, ma’am.” 

Ruth gave him a sympathetic look.  “I’m sorry about your friend.  He seemed nice.” 

“He was the best.” Bubbles just shouldered his pain and followed the men into interrogation.  

And there, as Ruth was watching the doorway of the interrogation room and the floods of pilots streaming in, her gaze caught onto the boy that she desperately wanted to just take far from this place.  Abe’s steps were slow, gaze down on the ground as he walked.  

But Ruth wasn’t about to let him just go in by himself.  Not after knowing what terrors the skies held and the things that he had probably seen.  No, Ruth wasn’t going to let him suffer silently in this pain.  So Ruth caught onto his arm and Abe flinched violently at the contact, turning to look at her. 

It took him a moment to realize that Ruth was there.  That she was in front of him.  A waiting presence for him to need her.  And the thing was that he did need her.  Badly.  

Abe practically spilled into her arms and Ruth just held onto him.  He clung to her, hands fisting in her JAG-Corp jacket, face buried in her shoulder.  And it was all Ruth could do to just hold onto him.  No sobs came from his throat—he wasn’t sure he could even muster the energy to do so. 

When he finally broke apart from his older sister, he just felt like he was a little kid again.  And in a very small voice, he looked up at her with cracks in his armor.  “Nash is dead.” 

All at once, Ruth understood.  He lost his friend.  And Ruth still had to send him into Interrogation.  That was the protocol.  “I know, darling,” Ruth murmured in a quiet tone.  “Come find me after you’re done.  We’ll talk, alright?” 

Abe just gave a half-nod.  And she watched with a heavy heart and soul as her fearless little brother, no more than a child himself, walked into the Interrogation.  And she could do nothing to ease his pain.  

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The phone call to Bucky Egan had damn near put a crack in Ruth’s own heart.  For as long as she had been at Thorpe Abbotts, she and Bucky had maintained an antagonistic friendship of needling and light teasing.  It was just their way of expressing fondness for the other.  And for as long as she had been on the base, she had known that Bucky was the beating heart and soul of the Hundredth. 

But the thing about a heart is that it needs blood to pump.  Is that it requires other things to function.  The heart can’t propel the body on its own.  It needs others.  And Bucky needed Gale Cleven like he needed air to breathe.  When they were together, they were better.  When they were together, morale was high and the men believed that the war could be won. 

Buck Cleven going down in the Bremen mission had fundamentally changed things for everyone on the base in a way that Ruth had not foreseen.  She knew that by leaving Bucky Egan on his own, it was opening a door to recklessness, impulsivity, and danger for every single man that would go up in the skies. 

And truth be told, being the person to force him to sober up after his meeting with Harding was the last thing that Ruth wanted to do.  She had responsibilities, work to do, people to confer with, paperwork to be done.  She did not need to be Bucky Egan’s personal babysitter because he couldn’t keep himself sober. 

Grief was a funny thing.  It tended to do funny things to people. 

So as she stood there, watching him dunk his head in the water trough for a third time, Ruth just felt weary.  “You shouldn’t be flying today,” Ruth said in a steel tone. 

Bucky was still in a kneeling position as he wiped at the water beads on his face and head.  He nearly threw up as he tried to get to his feet.  He stumbled, ground feeling uneven beneath his feet.  Ruth just took a step back, a frown set on her features. 

“Do you—” Bucky bit down on his tongue and he tasted copper.  “Do you care about anyone?  Or are you just a cold and emotionless bitch?” 

To her credit, Ruth wasn’t offended by the word.  She knew what the men called her behind her back.  She largely preferred her reputation as a bitch.  At least she wasn’t easy.  At least she had a semblance of control in her life and in her relationships, unlike the man in front of her. 

“I care a great deal,” Ruth retorted.  “Why else would I be sitting out here and ensuring your sobriety during a mission that could endanger your men?” 

His eyes flashed dark with guilt and he had to rip his gaze away from the woman of steel.  “I’m trying my best,” Bucky finally bit the words out.  “It’s not enough.” 

Ruth let out a deep sigh, leaning against the combine behind her.  “I hate to be the one to inform you of this.  But life is rarely fair.  And nothing we do is ever enough.  But that doesn’t mean we stop trying.” 

“They all deserve to die,” Bucky’s voice was like gravel as he whispered out the truth that had been building in his throat. 

From within her bag, Ruth withdrew two cigarettes.  After lighting her own, she tossed him the other cigarette and her lighter.  Taking a large inhale of smoke, Ruth just sighed.  “I don’t think that they do.” 

“Is that your version of justice?” 

“No, it just is justice.” 

“Seems biased.” 

“Unfortunately, everyone is,” Ruth removed the cigarette from her mouth as she stared at the pitiful figure of Bucky Egan in front of her.  Hunched and drenched, still reeking of alcohol, grief spilling out at every single seam.  She was quiet for a long minute.  “I understand revenge, contrary to your beliefs.” 

“No you don’t—” 

“I’m Jewish.” The silence that fell was deafening.  Bucky blinked once, then twice, trying to process that.  “My cousins.  My grandparents.  My aunts and uncles.  They’re all just gone,” Ruth said quietly.  “Old people.  Innocent children. Good people.  And when I came over here to see if I could find them, there wasn’t anything I could find.  They’re somewhere in a camp or already dead and we have no way to know that.  So don’t presume that I don’t think about revenge.” 

“Ruthie,” Bucky started, chest aching with a cavity of guilt. 

“This war may have just taken Buck from you,” Ruth said slowly.  “But it’s been taking people for years.  And dropping bombs on civilians and children—women and kids—it is not going to make you feel better.  And it is not going to bring him back.  So get over your own grief and start focusing on the bigger picture.” 

“I—” 

“You should shower.  You reek of alcohol.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ruth didn’t leave the tower.  She didn’t move a single inch the entire time that the men were gone.  Three missions in three days was a lot for anyone—even the best of the best.  And three missions in three days was taking its toll on everyone.  She didn’t agree with Harding’s decision to bomb the railroads and the towns near the railroads.  So many innocent people were going to get caught in the aftermath. 

In the quest of revenge. 

Today there was no talk of books or movies or characters between her and Jack Kidd.  The quiet solemnity of the situation was weighing on them both.  Almost as much as that damn sheepskin jacket that Kidd had been left with.  A surefire sign that Bucky Egan had no intention of returning without Buck Cleven. 

And if Bucky Egan went down, then surely the Hundredth would be left without a leader.  Ruth had never felt so much hate for war, for Hitler, for every single Nazi, bubbling up in her stomach as much as she did at this moment.  Because if all of this ended with her brother’s death, Ruth knew that she would never recover from such a thing. 

It would be impossible to move forward or not blame herself for sending him home immediately. 

And when one plane came into the tarmac, not a plane that any of them recognized, Ruth felt as though Death itself had come to haunt her. 

“It’s one from the 390th,” Red mumbled out. 

Everything that was happening just felt as though Ruth had been shoved underwater.  She could hear Harding questioning the plane about the Hundredth.  About the others.  But Ruth couldn’t even form a word, she couldn’t even inhale properly. 

“Where are our boys, Chick?” Kidd questioned. 

“He said none of them made it.” 

“None of them?” Crosby’s voice floated across the air.  It was a poison to her throat and to her gut. 

“Here comes another,” Ruth could barely form the words. 

“That’s one of ours!” Red exclaimed. 

“Who is it?” Harding pressed. 

“It’s one of the new guys.  Rosenthal.”  And right then and there, Ruth couldn’t help the fact that silent tears were spilling from her eyes.  Thank God, thank God, thank God.

[blackwidow-bby]

Need You Tonight - g!pSevika x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Smut, fluff, teensy bit of angst, Sevika is a virgin and also has a d*ck, cursing, oral sex, breeding kink, bad writing

AN: This was very 'drop and run'. I really just indulged myself 100%. It's so bad lol *hides forever*

18+ Minors DO NOT Interact

You liked your job; you swear you did. It wasn’t everyday you got to run around with an untouchable group of Shimmer shippers courtesy of Silco. His rise in position and business required an increase of goons hired to move product and serve as glorified security. You naturally always had pent up anger that you never minded releasing on the poor sap who forgot to pay up that day. What was strange, was even though you were shorter in stature than the others, you were one of the few everyone knew not to fuck with. Being that untouchable felt powerful. It really had a way of getting to your head. But that big-headedness was always short lived whenever she came around.

Sevika absolutely refused to let you truly believe you were the shit. She was always so much better. Stronger, faster, fiercer, angrier. If you were avoided, she was feared. After every successful deal, she was there to squash your pride. She would pick on you like an unrelenting older sister. Constantly sneering in your direction, giving you ugly looks from across the bar. All of that could be forgivable, if you weren’t so damn infatuated with her.

Your feelings for the brute made her teasing so much worse because all you wanted to do was wipe every look from her face and replace it with one of pure pleasure. Every time she would stare down at you, you could feel the warmth of her body heat practically pulling you in. You were addicted to her jeering laugh and the way she smelled after a long night. Her natural musk would waft up to your nose and wrap itself around your head making you forget about anything else. She was insufferable and sexy. And Gods, you wanted her so fucking bad.

“Pip squeak! Get your ass over here!”

Speak of the devil. She yelled from across the bar, waving you over to her table. She had a sly smirk on her face, no doubt up to no good. What did she want to make fun of you for this time?

“Hurry up! I don’t have all night!”

You walked just a little bit faster, hopefully to get her to stop yelling. You watched her as you made your way through the smokey room. She kept leaning over to whisper something into Ran’s ear. The two of them wearing shady looks as they continued to try and pull reactions. You just maintained a straight face, wanting to get this over with.

Once you got closer to their table, Sevika leaned back and placed both arms on the back rest of the booth. The position made it to where her arm had to sit behind Ran’s head. You wouldn’t call yourself the jealous type, but something about seeing Ran be in a position that you’d almost kill for, made an ugly emotion fill up inside of you. The way her muscles pulsed automatically as she laughed tauntingly at you made you ache to run your hands up and down them. Hell, even her abs were on full display making you want to drag your core while she flexed under you.

“Heard you had another successful deal, mouse.”

Mouse was a nickname she decided to grant you around when you first started running with the crew. Along with a litany of other names that poked fun of your short stature. Insufferable.

“Honestly, I’m surprised you lasted this long. Grab a seat, quit standing around like a weirdo.”

You rolled your eyes before doing as she requested. At least you were in her vicinity now.

She grabbed two drinks from the table, handing one to Ran, before scooting the third toward you, effectively spilling some of the contents on the table.

“Ran here didn’t think you’d last a week. What’s your secret, Mouse? You got all these people scared to mess with you, but I think it’s all a game.”

She sneered once more as she took a sip from her glass. Waiting for you to take the bait. Your face flushed as you attempted to keep your emotions at bay. You weren’t going to let her make a fool of you in front of the rest of her crew. You picked up your own cup and took a sip. The brown liquid stung the inside of your mouth and throat and made your tongue tingle a bit, but the alcohol helped ease your nerves.

“I don’t know what to tell you, I can be pretty…compelling.”

Your answer made her arch one of her sculpted brows at you. She chuckled and placed the glass back down. The alcohol began to make your brain a little foggy. You just watched her lick the liquid away from her lips, unconsciously making your own lips part. The alcohol must taste so different leaving her mouth.

“You listening to me? I said, ‘What makes you so compelling?’.”

Your eyes shifted back up to stare straight into her cool grey orbs. You leaned slowly to rest your elbows on your knees holding the eye contact. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly the longer you waited to answer. Mouth now in a straight line.

“Maybe I should ask you? You seem to really like picking on me. Can’t even get you to stop messing with me for a minute when I’m around. I bet you even talk about me when I’m not here, don’t you? What else do you do, Sevika? Do you think about me in your sleep as well?”

Her face began to contort into a scowl. Ran’s amused look also changed to one of awkwardness. At this point, people were beginning to leave the table. You could feel the annoyance seep from Sevika’s skin. Hook.

“I bet you get off just thinking about how you’re going to poke fun at me the next time you see me. I bet it gets you all riled up, don’t it? What do you do? Touch yourself at the idea of me getting all mad at you?”

You could almost see the steam shooting out of her ears. The corner of her lip snarling while the hand around her glass threatened to shatter into a bunch of tiny shards. From the corner of your eye, you could see Ran slowly begin to shrink away from the table. Everyone was as far away from the two of you as possible. You took a short moment to look down as some movement that caught your eye. The space between her legs was throbbing. Line.

Ending your schpiel by leaning back and taking another large gulp of your drink, hiding the amused smirk as to not upset the woman further, but it was too late. Sevika stood abruptly and slammed both palms onto the table. She was foaming at the mouth; you were certain that her heart had to be pounding out of her chest. Her rage was only short of being kept at bay. Sinker.

“Get. Out.”

Was all she said as she stared you down. Knowing when to not poke the bear further, you simply gave her a shrug of your shoulders as you finished your drink and made your way to exit. The whole way to the door, you felt her eyes bore into your back.

~

The following days after your slight confrontation were…well peaceful if you were being honest. And by peaceful, you mean Sevika was never around to be seen. She stopped showing up to the Last Drop, if she worked, she did so on opposite shifts. On the rare occasion the two of you would cross paths, she didn’t even look in your direction. Facing off the bear had its perk.

At first you liked the lack of taunting, you could finally feel confident in your work. As the days went on, some sick part of you began to miss it. Even when you had negative attention, it was still attention. From someone you wanted. Fuck. You fucked it all up, didn’t you?

Some weeks passed without you seeing Sevika. You started to accept the fact that you did royally mess up and move on with your life. While polishing some knives, relaxing on your day off, an abrupt knock sounded from your apartment door.

“Who the hell—"

So much for relaxing, it was probably someone coming to get you to make a run for Silco. Gods forbid. Your feet padded across the wood floor to your front door, filling up the silence. You unlatched a couple locks and opened the door revealing a near disheveled looking Sevika. Her presence made your eyes widened. She just stared at her feet while your eyes raked all over her. Her hair was a little messy, eyes with dark circles under them. She didn’t look hurt or anything just…tired. Scratch that, she looked exhausted.

“Sevika, what are you—”

“May I come in?”

Her voice was rough and gravelly, it sent a shiver up your spine. You must have had the most quizzical look on your face, because all she did was roll her eyes and push her way inside. Your mouth flopped like a fish trying to find some excuse for why she could be here right now. When you turned, you saw her standing in the middle of your living room just looking around as she took in the space. Her eyes slowly looked from one end to the other, admiring how much more homely your space looked compared to hers. Your place actually looked like someone lived there. It made the larger woman feel something deep within, something akin to want. She finally turned and looked to you still standing by the open door.

“I want to…talk.”

This pulled you from your thoughts, and finally you closed your door. The two of you stood there for a moment just looking at each other. She looked tense and relaxed at the same time, like all the strain was in her neck, shoulders, and her legs holding her up. Her face was stoic and expressionless, eyes drooped but took in your style. You could see them shift from your shirt to your sweatpants. At the same time, you stared her down. Her top revealing that same sliver of chiseled abs. Her pants were tight around her muscular legs. The sight made your mouth salivate, but something else made you absolutely hungry. You eyed the slight bulge at the apex of her thighs, what was she thinking about?

Sevika noticed the way your eyes lingered a little too long at her crotch and quickly turned away. Her face burned in embarrassment. She was struggling to stay when everything in her body was telling her to run.  She was going to get through this.

“I had been thinking these last few weeks. You were right.”

What?

“What?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself, Mouse. This is already too much.”

Her nerves began to suffocate the room, but you needed answers.

“I’m confused. What was I right about?”

“I think about you! I think about you all the time! I like seeing you and picking on you! I like how short you are and every time you get mad it makes me feel something!”

You just stared and let her vent to you. Her confession effectively stunning you silent. Her hands flew around wildly as she spoke more. Her mouth moved but nothing you could hear came out, your brain was mush and ears turned off. The only thing you could take in was Sevika just admitted to thinking about you. Wow.

She paced back and forth in the same spot as your own feet moved on autopilot toward her. You were entranced, eyes never leaving until you moved into her space. Her mouth snapped closed. She looked down at you as you stared up. The air surrounding the two of you was electric, sparks flying it was like two sides of a magnet snapping together. Then, the two of you jolted toward each other, her lips slammed against yours, strong flesh and steel hand grabbing your face and smushing you impossibly closer. Your own hands grabbing at either side of her top, taking fist full of cloth. The two of you were a mesh of teeth and lips. Tongues fighting for dominance, she tasted like cigarettes and mouthwash. The smell of her skin made you dizzy. Her scent was naturally sweet with a mix of cologne. You wouldn’t expect any less.

In a tangled mess, hands searching and clawing at each other, you somehow got pushed against the coffee table. Unable to keep yourself upright, your knees buckled causing you to fall back against the wood with Sevika following suit. The table groaned with the added weight while you pulled her hips against your own. You could feel her bulge press against your crotch and the feeling made you moan into her mouth. Gaining some strength, you pushed her hips away and turned her to the ground so you could rest on top. Your mouth quickly found her neck, sucking and kissing harshly against the soft flesh. She groaned at the feeling of your lips against a sensitive spot jut under her ear. The bulge in her pants grew with arousal making it uncomfortable to be concealed in such tight pants. She bit down on her lower lip hard with every delicious kiss to her neck and collar bones.

You took the initiative to move your hands down her body, feeling up her toned stomach be fore slipping lower to palm between her legs. Her member felt large in your hands and grew thicker with your ministrations. The sudden touch freaked Sevika out, she pushed you away and quickly got up. Everything was going so well, what now?

“I’m sorry, it was a bad idea for me to come over. I need to go.”

You could hear the panic in her voice, but you couldn’t lose out just yet.

“Sevika wait, don’t go!”

She stopped mid stride to the door, but she didn’t turn toward you. Her eyes squeezed shut awaiting what you would say. What she would say.

“Please, I don’t want you to leave. You can tell me what’s wrong. Was it something I did?”

Sevika released a frustrated sigh. She was so embarrassed. Her body was betraying her, her mind running in circles.

“No, no you didn’t do anything. I just—it’s embarrassing.”

“It’s okay, I promise. I won’t judge you.”

She was growing frustrated. Moreso at herself for not being able to confidently tell you what was wrong. Her own embarrassing secret that she was ready to take with her to the grave.

“Ugh, it’s stupid. I can’t believe I’m admitting this…”

“Admitting wha—”

“I’ve never had sex before!”

Her confession effectively caught you off guard. That was the last thing you honestly thought you would hear come from her. There had been several rumors at one point in time about how Sevika liked to frequent the brothel. Not only that, but she had several years on you, and you were by no means a spring chicken. You stood from your spot on the floor and slowly walked toward where she stood with her head lowered. She was shaking but you didn’t know how to calm her, didn’t know what you could say to make the situation right again. You had to say something quick before the silence scares her away for good.

“Sevika, look at me? Please?”

You kept your voice soft to not startle or scare her. Reluctantly, she did end up turning to face you, but her eyes stayed planted to the floor. Her body was so stiff. You reached a hand and tucked some of the loose hair behind her ear before cupping her cheek.

“It’s okay.”

Her eyes looked up into yours, still staying quiet. She looked so small in this moment.

“If its nerves, I would never make you do anything you didn’t want. But I still want you here with me. In whatever way you’re comfortable with.”

Your head tilted to the side, still holding eye contact. When her face softened, you too relaxed. She leaned in to kiss you again and sighed against your lips.

“Could we maybe, go somewhere…more comfortable?”

You smiled sweetly at her and took her hand, which dwarfed your own. She followed near silently behind you toward your bedroom. Her eyes lit up at your privet space. Fairy lights connecting from corner to corner along the ceiling to create a dim glow about the room. You had paintings and photos strategically placed on walls and shelves. She admired just how much you could feel so homely. Sevika was entranced.

Somewhere in her distraction when she finally came to, she looked toward where you last stood, now stripped of your clothing and covered only in your bra and undergarments. The look on her face was in awe. Her mouth hung slightly open, grey pools ran from head to toe, fully taking you in. You looked beautiful in a way she didn’t think she would ever get to see.

You stalked toward her and lifted her hand, placing a kiss to her knuckles.

“May I?”

Sevika had no idea what you were referring to, but she wasn’t going to say no to anything you had to offer. Not now after all this time. She felt as your soft hands lightly removed the buttons to slide off her top from her shoulders. Your smaller hands running up and down both arms as if committing the feeling to memory. They moved lower to the waistband of her pants, her breath hitched but you had stopped to look up. A silent request for permission to continue. She nodded and you smiled up at her. As you undid the button of her pants, she absentmindedly moved closer into your space, but you didn’t complain. Even as you lowered her zipper, you could still feel her rock-hard length beyond her confines. The thought of releasing her finally, sent a spike of arousal straight between your legs.

All she did was watch you be careful with her while her heart raced. She would be lucky to last 2 minutes with the way she was so pent up. You maneuvered her pants down to her ankles for her to step out of. The delectable sight of the imprint of her cock against her underwear was making it hard for you to keep a slow pace.

“Lay down.”

Even though you didn’t mean for the command to sound that harsh, there was a bit of a bite behind the words. Sevika did so while never taking her eyes off you. She looked so strong and sturdy, this mass of muscle turning pliable under your hands. Obeying your command just turned you on more. You crawled up the bed stopping right between her legs. Her chest rose and feel in anticipation for what was undoubtedly about to come next. You bent down at the elbows to rest just above her shaft. Every puff of hot air from your nostrils made the brunette squirm on your bed. She was so sensitive, then your lips came down to kiss her on the other side of her underwear. The feeling of your mouth made Sevika moan and twitch against you. You moved your mouth up and down her length, the feeling causing her head to slam back into the pillows underneath. Her breathing grew heavier.

Your fingers slipped below the band, pulling her undergarments down those strong legs. Her member sprung free and slapped against her stomach. She was such a sight and much bigger than you had guessed. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to contain just how aroused you were becoming. Your cunt felt slick and clung to the underwear still covering your core. When you looked back up at Sevika, she was staring wide eyed at you, her expression was hard to read but if you had to guess she was extremely excited.

Gathering some courage to continue, you placed a kiss to the tip of her head. Her eyes rolled at the contact and groaned audibly. Her reaction made you smirk up at her. Placing one hand at the base of her shaft, you moved your body comfortably over her to begin taking her length into your warm wet mouth. Sevika moaned with every inch you took between your lips. The icing on the cake was feeling her cock twitch inside your mouth. She was large and it was difficult to take more but you somehow did. Your head bobbed up and down, eliciting lewd sounds from your throat that vibrated around her making her moan louder and more erratically.

Silco’s second in command becoming putty under you.

“M-mouse, wait. I-I think I’m gunna...”

Your mouth released her member with a pop preventing her from reaching that sweet release she was craving. There was still so much more you wanted to do to her. As she whimpered at the loss and cold air hitting her groin, you quickly removed whatever was left of your clothing to straddle over her hips.

“Shhhh, look at me baby.”

Somehow, Sevika managed to comply. Her jaw dropped, eyes shooting to the point between your thighs. Slick coated both inner thighs. She could smell your arousal from where she laid, and it drove her crazy. She looked to you, holding a sly look on your face.

“You want this ‘Vika? Want to feel me squeeze around you.”

Her head nodded frantically.

“Words, please.”

“Yes, mouse. Please, I just want to be inside you.”

She sounded so desperate and sexy. How could you turn down begging like that? Lining up her tip to your core, you steadied yourself as to not completely slide her length inside you. You wanted her to feel all of it. Feel your soft walls slowly grip at her cock as you slid all the way down. Sevika released a pornographic moan as she was consumed by the slick warmth of your cunt. She preened with the way she could feel her dick push through, feeling you stretch around her girth. Her hips bucked up against yours when you sank fully, thighs touching thighs. The sudden jolt caused you to whimper out loud. The two of you were breathing quick and shallow. When you finally go use to her size, you took the opportunity to move your hips carefully savoring the feeling of her pulsing with need.

Sevika’s eyes were closed tight, brows furrowing. You felt so good, addicting. She couldn’t believe she had lived so long without feeling this, especially without feeling this from you. This was a whole new high, one she couldn’t wait to experience over and over. Your pussy hugged her deliciously with every lift of your hips.

“P-please mouse. Faster.”

You happily obliged. Your hips rutted against her own faster and faster as the same feeling built up inside of you. So much for prolonging this experience. Her cock hit all the right places prodding deep inside. Wetness slid down your legs and hers, with every thrust, the noises became lewder. Sevika’s hands came up to press into her eyes. She was whimpering over and over words of praise.

“S-so good. You f-feel s-so good. Uhn, more. I need more.”

You managed to start slamming your hips against hers causing her cock to now slam into you. The heighten in arousal caused you to scream out her name over and over. Your head dropping back as you rode her hard. That familiar coil coming to a peak in your lower belly ready to break.

“I’m so close, cum with me Sev.”

“Ah I-I’m…gunna—Oh Gods.”

Your eyes rolled back, white how light flashed behind your lids as your orgasm crashed like a tidal wave over you. Your cunt pulsed around Sevika’s member, causing her to cum shortly after. The feeling of her sticky warmth filling you helped prolong your high. The two of you spent, panting, and trying to catch your breath. You fell forward to rest your sweaty body against Sevika’s. Subconsciously your hand drew circles over her chest, her length still sheathed inside you but not attempting to move.

“Wow.”

You managed to breathe out.

“Second that.”

Her husky voice close to your ear made you shiver.

“You don’t happen to have work tomorrow, do you?”

Sevika panting only managed to shake her head. You lifted yourself up to look straight into her eyes.

“Good, cause I’m nowhere near done with you.”

[j-nipper-95]

Fic Rec (plus late Six Sentence Sunday) Monday!

Ok, so I’m late posting this, but oh well. It’s being posted!

I’m not sure if my tumblr notifications are working properly at the moment (I know I missed at least one tag last week, so if I’ve missed your tags the last couple of weeks I’m sorry, I’m not ignoring you, tumblr is acting up!) but I’m still alive. I’m back, and I have words to share!

July’s Camp NaNoWriMo has been amazing for getting words down for COTTA, and I am finally back on track with following the El Dorado plot line again! I managed to double the word count goal I had by 1am this morning, so all in all, a very productive month. So without further ado, here’s six(teen) sentences from that! Thanks for the tags @artsyunderstudy @theearlgreymage and @hushed-chorus (and anyone else if I’ve missed your posts!!)

Baz POV

“Get in the back,” he grunts, nodding at the truck. “I’ll cover you.”

“With what, Snow?”

“Just do it.”

No. I won’t leave him.

“They’ll shoot you on sight,” I say (I plead, I almost beg. Don’t make me face the thought of losing you, Simon). “I can’t get over there without your help,” I add. If there’s one thing I can count on right now, it’ll be Simon’s inner heroism.

“Bet you can,” he says, without thinking.

“Two shillings say I can’t.”

The challenge in my voice is enough to make him turn to glare at me. And knowing how much it irritates him, I cock an eyebrow and tilt my chin up to look down my nose at him.

Snow opens his mouth to argue but snaps it shut when we hear the Now Next almost at the corner we’ve just run around.

“You’re on.”

And then Jas also tagged me in a fic rec post, so here’s a few I’ve been enjoying recently!

Someone Wicked by @artsyunderstudy ([E, 53.9k, Carry On, complete]

I had the chance to beta read this fic with @cutestkilla and oh my God it was a rollercoaster of emotions and tender smut and I loved every single second of it!

Normal AU, complicated family relationships, religious guilt, chronic pain rep, escort Simon, this fic had me hooked from the second Ashton pitched it to me! It’s angsty and soft and emotional in all of the ways we’ve come to expect from her fics, and it ticks all of the boxes.

Ashton managed to tackle some really tough emotions and relationship dynamics in this one, and I don’t really want to say any more and risk spoiling any of it.

Check it out if you haven’t yet, but just remember it is explicit with plenty of on page smut/sex scenes!

More Than Friends by @fatalfangirl [E, 19.9k, Carry On, incomplete]

This fic updated today. It was a good day!

Simon and Baz are roommates, and having survived lockdown together their feelings are becoming much more than platonic. Both of them like the other, but neither is willing to compromise their friendship.

Another Normal AU, this time ‘friends with benefits’, featuring lots of unhealthy coping mechanisms, a sexually promiscuous Simon (which I for one am loving!), Baz as a writer, and some new tags that were added today (trigger warnings for mentions of past ab*se and panic attacks).

This fic is updating currently, and I cannot wait to see what Stacy has in store for the boys! (Again, it’s explicit, so minors begone!)

What Remains After the Storm by @hushed-chorus [M, 86.3k, Carry On, complete]

When I tell you this fic had (and still has) me in a fricken chokehold, that’s an understatement! I still think about this fic on a daily basis, and Demi’s writing is simply stunning.

A fantasy/historical fiction(ish) AU, with fae, curses, much pining, and plenty of cute goats.

Simon is a goatherd on the edge of a fishing town, and while he’s not entirely trusted by the townsfolk, he’s not outright despised either. He works the land, and always pays his tithe to the fae. Until he pulls something from the ocean. Or rather, someone. When Baz flees his fae captors and returns home, he and Simon have to work together to help him remember his humanity.

This fic. Oh. My. GOD! Every update had me on the edge of my seat. Do yourself a favour, and go and read this fic. Especially as Demi is considering writing more in the same AU!

Strictly Professional by @palimpsessed [E, 38.5k, Carry On, complete]

This fic completed a couple of days ago, and I didn’t have time to finish reading it until this morning, and my god was it worth the wait!

Simon is a new recruit at Baz’s firm, and he’s joined the company just in time for the professional conference. But not in time to get his own hotel room. Cue only one bed forced proximity fast burn get together!

This fic pays off so quickly in the best way possible! The emotions Pal has managed to get into such a short space of time for the boys is incredible, and had me so invested in this relationship! Baz trying to remain professional, Simon’s unabashed flirting, neither of them managing to keep their hands off each other. Again, every single box ticked!

The Selkie and his Boy by @hushed-chorus [T, 21.8k, Carry On, complete]

It’s very rare that I pick up a T or G rated SnowBaz fic. I usually go for M and above, but once again, Demi had me hook line and sinker with this one.

Every year, Baz and his family holiday in Cornwall (can I just say how much I love Demi’s writing about Cornwall? It’s so nice to see the South West represented in fic!! As a Dorset girl who holidayed a lot in Cornwall as a kid, I love this so much!). Everything goes to plan … most of the time. One year, he meets a boy with bronze hair and blue eyes that utterly captivates him, and who he expects to spend the whole summer getting to know.

But the boy never shows up the next day. Or the next. Or indeed for the next several years.

Flash forward seven years, and an embittered Baz finally meets Simon again, and finds out why Simon never came back all those years ago.

An AU where Simon is a selkie, Baz is still a vampire, and Mordelia is unabashedly sassy!

Tagging (for both SSS and fic recs): @artsyunderstudy @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @aristocratic-otter @palimpsessed @larkral @orange-peony @dragoneggos @prettylightsbigcity @stardustasincocaine @fatalfangirl @cutestkilla @ileadacharmedlife @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @ebbpettier @martsonmars @erzbethluna @hushed-chorus

[greensagephase]

Hi!!!

Well, I only have a few ideas about Miguel and Pavitr, but the thought of the two of them just makes me giggle. Here are some of my ideas:

1- If Pav had been the first one to join the Spider-Society, I could totally see him asking if he will ever grow fangs HAHAHAHA. The look on Miguel would be priceless. I can picture him like "Hey... so... do you know if I will ever get fangs? Because I have a date in two weeks and..."

2- They would have a competition over who can tolerate spice the most. Miguel would lose, and he would never be over it, but he just can't compete with Pavitr in this. To make matters worse, Pavitr would have been against the competition at first, but oh well, Miguel insisted for some reason (probably Lyla teased him), and Pav got competitive in the middle of it

3- Pav would call Miguel "Señor Miguel" without apparent reason. He just... started calling him that one day, and it stuck. Miguel likes it, but Jess teases him about so he pretends he doesn't

4- Pav would learn whatever Spanish he can from Miguel, even copying his accent. His pronunciation is surprisingly good as well. Miguel thought he was mocking him at first, but later found out Pav was just trying to impress his girlfriend by speaking Spanish

5- I think Pav would admire Miguel's intelligence. He just loves how organized and strategic Miguel and wishes he could be more like that. Miguel, on the other hand, feels at ease with how transparent Pav is, but he has conflictive emotions about his spontaneity. He likes it, but sometimes Pav can be reckless, and it gets on his nerves (in a good way, he is just worried about him) Miguel also learns to recognize when Pav is about to improvise in a fight and every time he does Miguel prays that it's a good idea and nothing too bad happens. He also admires how Pav can get along with basically anyone, but he won't tell him that obviously

6- Miguel once was about to make a joke about tea, but Lyla stopped him before he could say anything.

And that's basically it haha. I've been learning to draw Miguel so I can bring these to life, but that will have to wait a bit more. At least I already learned how to draw Miguel's face, so that's something

Anyway, I love your stories so much! And I'm sorry I something feels odd in my writing. English isn't my first language, and it's been a while since I've been in a class. All my knowledge of the English language comes from the internet now, haha

Omg, the fangs headcannon had me audibly giggling at 7am this morning when I read over this before I had to head out!!! The fangs 🤣 No, because I can imagine the way this would go. I can see Miguel, after explaining some things to Pav, asking, "Do you have any questions?" And Pav nodding (he's been thinking about it the entire time), but wondering if it would be rude to ask, but eventually he really wants to know, so he asks the question!! Can you imagine Lyla DYING of laughter? Miguel just stares at Pav, processing the question. Out of everything he said, Miguel thought Pav would be asking things about the multiverse, but no. "Ayy, mijo, no, you're not getting fangs." Miguel holds back from pinching the bridge of his nose in frustration (not at Pav but just like, he didn't think this would be a question for some reason). "This seems to be something only I have. At least from what I've seen." Pav proceeds to look relieved 🤣 and Miguel decides not to let him see the talons for a few days until there's more members so Pav won't be worried about them!!

Haha, the spice competition!! I've never had the opportunity to try Indian food (I really want to but I live in a somewhat remote and small area so I don't have any Indian food restaurants nearby), but I've read that Indian food is on another level of spiciness!! Miguel not getting over it, omg, imagine the grumpy face he must have had (after he recovered) and Pav feeling a little bad about it. Also, Lyla definitely teased Miguel into it. Can you imagine her teasing him about it every now and then? 🤣

Señor Miguel omg - wait, I can see Pav doing this out of politeness!! Because you know, you're supposed to show respect to the elders, so he decides to do it in Spanish. Ok, I love this one so much for some reason!! (We really need this duo - SONY, I BEG YOU!!!)

Pav learning Spanish from Miguel (I definitely think his pronunciation would be amazing!!!) To impress Gayatri 🥺 Do you think Miguel would find it endearing when he realizes? But also, can you imagine Pav learning so much that they begin to have a lot of conversations in Spanish?

Omg, the one with them admiring each other!! I love this one SO MUCH!! Miguel growing worried about Pav every time he decides to be spontaneous, omg 🥺 I wholeheartedly believe Miguel is like this with all the young members, but he doesn't show it these days because of everything that happened

The last headcannon, haha!! I can see this happening with the Miguel from before the events of Gabriella - when Miguel was witty (like in the ITSV credit scene), but Lyla definitely stopped him. She'd probably be like, "Miguel, don't. Just trust me on this one."

I LOVED all these headcannons!!! Thank you so much for sharing them with me!!! 🥹As to bringing them to life - I can't wait to see them!!!! I hope you're drawing is going well!! And I'm so happy that you've learned to draw Miguel's face!! I've also started to draw (because of Miguel), so I understand it's a learning process and wish you the best of luck!! As to your English, don't worry my friend!! Your English is fantastic!!!❤️ And thank you for the support on my writing, it truly means so much to me!! I hope you're doing well, and that you have a lovely day/night!!!

[alwaysxlarrie]

4, 9, & 15

4. honestly, i’ve read wonderful fics from many talented authors in this fandom that have inspired me !! i’ve also been lucky enough to befriend some of them & receive their help w some of my fics. but i’m gonna cheat & name a few more than 3 lol oops.

@zanniscaramouche —— zanni knows how much her writing has influenced me, but her ability to keep scenes going, go from one character’s action to the next character’s action and/or dialogue so seamlessly, perfectly describe how & why an action made a character feel the way it did, etc just brings her writing to life so wonderfully. i’ve been lucky enough to have her beta quite a few of my fics that included smut as well, bless her soul, because her talent when it comes to smut, dirty talk, etc is superb. having her influence in my smut has made it what it is today, 100%.

@thedevilinmybrain —— the way jen writes emotions so viscerally & describes things in a way that even if you’ve never seen an item, action, and/or place before, you can still picture it in your head clearly is so admirable. you feel every emotion the character feels. you see exactly what the character sees. i’m obsessed w the way she portrays louis & harry’s dynamic in each fic —— it’s always similar but different. keeps you on your toes but you know it’s gonna be a good time. that’s how i aspire to write larry’s relationship in my fics lol. her writing is so captivating & phenomenal.

@loveislarryislove — long story short, annika & i have this obsession with touches & yearning doing so much for a scene, an emotion, a character, etc. touches are everything!!! i read her bodyguard fic & was obsessed before we even became friends & it showed me that you can depict so much lust, love, angst, happiness, etc in a scene that isn’t even that intense physically. bless annika’s soul for betaing my fics, too lol.

@2tiedships2 & @londonfoginacup for the same reasons —— the way they incorporate humor into their dialogue and internal monologue???? unmatched!!!! i’ve always wanted to be a writer who can incorporate humor into a fic seamlessly that is funny to people besides me and reading endless amounts of their fics & talking to them as well has definitely helped me mucho. their writing has also helped me learn that it’s okay to bend some sentence structure rules for creative reasons & i can confirm, my writing has only benefited from it.

there’s def more, but i’m just gonna name a few more people who have been influential for me for various reasons (dirty talk, smut, slow burn, humor, etc) & then i’ll stfu ab this one lmao: @allwaswell16 @lululawrence @kingsofeverything @disgruntledkittenface @crinkle-eyed-boo @jaerie @twopoppies @gaycousinlarry @hershelsue @sadaveniren

9. kind of? i try to stay flexible with myself if i can though. like if i finish a fic a day or three after the deadline i’ve set myself, then i’m not gonna berate myself for it. i do have a schedule for my cinderella au fic tho; that has a deadline of publishing one chapter a week!

15. i hope im answering this right when i answer this based on what universe i think is the hardest to write lol —— for me, it’s omegaverse. i was just talking about this w some people in the 1d library actually lol. i love reading abo fics but im just not sure if i could take myself seriously writing the words “slick” or “knot” or whatever. i get too self aware and in my head about it. i have so much admiration for writers who write many abo fics, i wish i could do what they do. i’ve been thinking about signing up for the abo fic fest to kind of get myself over that hurdle, but we’ll see.

thank you for asking me questions!! hopefully you don’t mind that my answer was kinda long 🙃 but this was fun!! xx

[t0wardthesun]

My Body and Me; a Love Story.

There was a time when I thought I would never write this post. The battle against my body seemed to be the one mountain I would never climb. I would go around in circles, coming up against the same obstacles; bingeing, emotional eating, restrictive dieting and hating what I saw when I looked in the mirror. I honestly thought it was something I would struggle with for the rest of my life. I think every woman knows this journey, some have walked the path before, others are waiting to begin - each of us up against years of conditioning, programming and subconscious messaging designed to keep us small (literally). This is the story of how I took my power back, went from self loathing to self love and healed my relationship with food and my body.

It’s Australia Day, 2008. My sister and I are riding our bikes around the small town we grew up in, jumping in and out of the crystal clear water wherever we can find the space. The path along the creek is teeming with families and kids our age walking around drinking UDL’s and cans of Smirnoff. Despite already being self conscious about my fifteen year old body, I’m feeling particularly brave wearing just a pair of shorts and my bikini top.

As we climb out of the water and mount our bikes to head home, a guy a few years older than me walks passed with his girlfriend. He looks me up and down and slurs, “Yeah, keep riding,” with a smirk on his face. His girlfriend slaps him playfully, looking back over her shoulder to mouth an apology, but it’s too late. My stomach drops, my world crumbles. Everything I ever feared about myself is true. I'm not attractive, I'm not desirable, I’m not worthy and I’m not enough.

I scroll pro-ana blogs and experiment to see how long I can go without food. I practice putting two fingers down my throat, trying to dredge up the shame I swallowed with that second chocolate brownie. I lament to my mother about the size and softness of my stomach, she shows me which ab exercises reduce belly fat.

My breasts grow almost overnight and suddenly I’m the subject of gossip and the butt of jokes. Relatives and strangers comment on my changing shape, as though my body is public domain to be deliberated. I learn that my body is not my own. I walk into the kitchen after dinner out with friends, “You can’t possibly still be hungry.” I learn that my bodies signals can’t be trusted.

I hold myself up against billboards and pictures on the internet and they all tell me one thing; shrink. Shrink and you will be beautiful, and before anything else, beautiful is what you should aspire to be. I stand in front of the mirror and pinch, suck, poke and prod. I squeeze a tape measure around every inch of skin, using the numbers to define how much I’m worth that week. I hide in the pantry, looking for something to fill me. My mind blanks as I reach for packets and jars, a brief reprieve before the guilt kicks in and I berate myself ceaselessly for a lack of self control.

I’m desperate to be noticed. I crave being seen. I take photos on my phone and send them to boys. When I’m drowning in a sea of insecurity, their shallow compliments keep me afloat.

I grew up believing that “big” was the worst thing a person could be. Worse than being mean, selfish or boring, it was the ultimate failure. The subconscious messaging I received was that being skinny was synonymous with being happy. That having the perfect body somehow made you immune to sadness or other negative emotions. Like, how bad could things possibly get if you looked amazing in a bikini? If you were thin then people paid attention to you; boys wanted to be with you and other girls wanted to be like you. To be thin, was to be beautiful - and to be beautiful was to be adored, cherished, loved. Life was an endless exodus away from fatness and toward thinness.

You can imagine the war that started internally when my e-cup boobs came in overnight. Dance costumes had to be altered, bras and bikinis had to be special ordered and I was constantly asking for a bigger size in change rooms. The changes in my body sparked a downward spiral in my self esteem. In my mind, with every kilo I gained I was becoming less important; my ideas less valid, personality less loveable and my dreams less achievable.

By the time I was sixteen, my body was a tool I used to validate my dwindling sense of self worth. I used it when it suited me, to get attention and validation from guys. The more I was willing to show of it and the more I was willing to do with it, the more approval I got. It made me feel powerful. I traded recognition for respect and mistook attention for love. The rest of the time I either berated it with criticism or ignored it completely.

For most of my teens and early twenties, I felt like a floating head walking around completely disconnected from my body. I didn’t identify as my body, it felt like an annoying attachment that kept betraying me by not doing what I wanted it to do or looking the way I wanted it to look. I hated how easily I could be brought down or carried away by the emotions that arose inside me; a wave of insecurity that would leave me hiding under the covers for days, a flash of anger that always left a wake of destruction in its path. It was too risky and far too painful living in my body, so I checked out. For almost a decade, I didn’t look down in the shower and I couldn’t touch my stomach without a wave of nausea flooding through me. I dreaded walking past mirrors or shop fronts and I used to yell at my mum for taking photos of me when I wasn’t looking.

By the time I left home at eighteen, it became apparent that in addition to my negative body image, I had also developed a pretty damaging relationship with food. Food was my anchor and my security blanket. When everything else in my life was uncertain, I could always count on the jar of peanut butter in the fridge. I would use food to suppress negative emotions; discomfort, anxiety, boredom. Even positive emotions - excitement, joy, happiness - were always accompanied by something to eat. It was as though I couldn’t bare to feel anything fully, so I sought a way to dull the experience.

I would spend hours researching different diets and exercise programs, getting confused and overwhelmed by the mass of conflicting information. Was yoghurt good for me, or bad? Should I be eating carbs with every meal or cut them out altogether? Should I be vegetarian, vegan, paleo or #sugarfree? Is running 5k’s burning fat or telling my body to hold on? I would walk around the grocery store with tears in my eyes, totally overwhelmed by all the choices and torn between what I wanted so desperately and what I thought I should be eating.

“Compulsive eating is basically a refusal to be fully alive. No matter what we weigh, those of us who are compulsive eaters have anorexia of the soul. We refuse to take in what sustains us. We live lives of deprivation, and when we can't stand it any longer, we binge.”

- Geneen Roth, Women, Food and God

Before I even knew what it was, bingeing was a regular part of my life. If had a bad day, a fight with my parents or an assignment due, bingeing offered an incredibly effective distraction. There was no thought or awareness, I would stand at the fridge and put whatever was on the shelf into my mouth. Because I refused to have anything unhealthy in the house, bingeing usually meant raiding my housemates cupboards for whatever had the highest sugar or fat content; four slices of toast with tablespoons of honey, two wraps, half a packet of biscuits and coconut oil straight from the jar. It wasn’t until after I had consumed the entire contents of my kitchen that the guilt kicked in. I felt totally helpless and completely out of control.

The promise of a diet is not only that you will have a different body; it is that in having a different body, you will have a different life. 

In 2013, I lost nine kilos leading up to my twenty first birthday. I was eating broccoli with chicken or tinned tuna for every almost meal and smashing myself in the gym 5-7 times a week. Everything in my life revolved around getting the numbers on the scale to drop. I kept a food diary on my phone and wrote down everything that passed my lips and at the end of the day I’d give myself a rating based on how ‘well’ I’d done. A smiley face meant it was a good day, an angry face meant I better try harder tomorrow.

I would measure and weigh myself in the morning and my mood for the entire day, and how I treated myself, depended on what I saw on the scale. I was obsessed with #fitspo blogs and instagram accounts and would spend hours drooling over photos of girls lifting weights or posing effortlessly in bikinis. I would deprive myself all week and have a ‘cheat day’ on the week end, which usually meant buying a block of chocolate on the way home from the gym and making myself sick by finishing off the whole thing in one sitting. A few weeks before my birthday I started taking OxyElite and would happily pop four a day - made me shake and pee constantly - completely ignoring the liver failure warning on the label.

But even when I was at my skinniest, my anxiety didn’t fade and I wasn’t any happier. I still had bad days and moments when I felt unworthy and insecure, and I was so preoccupied maintaining my new weight, I didn’t have time to focus on anything else or enjoy my life. As soon as my birthday was over and I didn’t have a goal to work towards, the weight came back and the battle raged on.

As I watched women my mums age berate themselves for eating an extra slice of cake, apologise for taking up too much space and obsess over their physical ‘flaws’, I started to think maybe this was just part of life as a woman. I hated the idea of passing my insecurities on to my future daughter, but I couldn’t see a way to break the cycle.

So I started working with coaches, and read and listened to every intuitive eating, eating psychology and body positive book, blog post and podcast I could get my hands on. There wasn’t one pivotal moment, but a series of small but deeply significant revelations that helped me improve my relationship with food and lead me back to my physical body…

1. I got angry.

When I discovered the extent to which mainstream media tries to keep us small - literally - as a form of disempowerment, I got angry. By making thinness the ideal and celebrating women who shrink, we get the message that we are not allowed to take up space, a subconscious belief that ingrains itself in our collective psyche. It’s the same belief that stops us from speaking up when we are being taken advantage of, it stops us demanding more from partners who mistreat us, and it stops us creating epic shit and sharing our unique gifts with the world.

As I continued pulling back the veil to expose the corporate agenda behind our BS beauty standards, it got easier to rally against my own inner critic because I knew they were both just trying to stop me wielding the full force of my power as a conscious woman. A woman confident in her own skin is no longer an obedient consumer, she no longer drains her time, energy and resources trying to “fix herself”. She shows up fully as her authentic self. She is a force to be reckoned with.

2. I focused on my strengths.

That insta-famous bikini model posting photos of herself looking toned and tanned in various exotic locations? Yes, she could have done a lot of editing/had surgery/spend thousands on a celebrity trainer, but you know what? Some girls really look like that - and that’s amazing! Go them! You have your own set of unique gifts and God-given talents that are exactly what you need to enact your purpose on this earth, and they might not have anything to do with how you look. Say it with me now, “I was not born to be an instagram model.” (Unless you were, then carry on your merry way). Being trapped in jealousy or comparison usually means we aren’t fully embracing our Genius. Ask yourself, ‘What am I really good at? What do I LOVE?’ then go do that.

BODY IMAGE CHALLENGE: Take a look at the people you follow on social media. Do they make you feel more confident, or less? If you feel ‘icky’ every time you scroll through instagram, it might be time to do a social media cleanse and get rid of any accounts that don’t inspire you to feel good about yourself.

3. I shifted my perspective from the external to the internal.

My journey this year has been letting go of the belief that people will only listen to what I have to say if they like the package it comes in. As women, we are taught from such a young age that beauty equals success, and for so long I was hung up on this idea that in order for my thoughts, opinions or ideas to be taken seriously, I would need to measure up to societies standards of beauty. That belief kept me from showing up fully in my business and in my life. Bullshit!

How many of us are held back from the work we are meant to do and the joy we are meant to experience because of our obsession with living up to someone else’s idea of beauty? How many of us delay happiness and postpone joy, waiting until after we’ve lost the weight or dropped a dress size, to be active participants in sucking the marrow out of our lives?  

These days, I’m focusing less on impressing people with my looks and more on empowering them with my energy. I realised I would so much rather invest my time cultivating compassion, sharpening my intellect and developing the kind of inner radiance that inspires people than forcing my body to take on a shape that isn’t natural for me.

I get that some people absolutely love pushing their body to see how far it can go, but when I think about how much effort it took to maintain my ‘goal weight’, I can honestly say - for me, and my standards - it’s just not worth it. As with anything in life, you have to ask yourself, do you want it because that’s the experience your Soul is longing to have, or because everyone tells you that’s what you should want? Is it your dream or someone else’s?

BODY IMAGE CHALLENGE: Start a creative project that you can work on in your spare time. It could be a collection of short stories, a sketch pad full of drawings or a line of your own handmade clutches. Passion projects are good for the soul and you never know where they might lead ;) 

4. I let go of my obsession with losing weight.

After nearly a decade of trying to get smaller, the thought of giving up scared the shit out of me. I clung to diets because they gave me a purpose, losing weight made me feel accomplished. It was easier to write a meal plan than it was to map out a plan for my future. And it was easier trying to change my body than it was to change the world.

I also thought that if I wasn’t following a strict eating and exercise ‘plan’, I would completely lose control and binge until I was the size of a house. And for a while, I did go a little crazy. I had to rebuild the trust between me and my body. I needed to prove that I was sticking to my word this time and I wasn’t going to deprive it any more.

But when I stopped labelling foods as ‘good’ and ‘bad’ and started giving myself unconditional permission to eat whatever I wanted, eating an entire block of chocolate lost its appeal. I could have it, so I didn’t want it. If I did end up over eating, I quickly forgave myself and moved on. No judgement, criticism or shame, just unconditional acceptance. I quickly learnt that most of the time I didn’t actually want the chocolate, I wanted the way it made me feel; worthy, deserving, full.

Instead of using food to suppress my emotions, I wanted to tap into my bodies natural wisdom. I started by opening up the lines of communication. I wrote her letters in my journal, apologising for all the times I had ignored her, made her sick and used her to satisfy my ego desires. I promised to take care of her, trust her and always ask her what she needed. I spoke to her like I would my best friend or little sister. Much to my delight, she started talking back.

I’m sorry.

I know.

I love you.

I love you too.

Today, my relationship with my body feels like rekindling a romance with a long lost lover; we’re both still marvelling at all the things we can do together, getting excited about what this means for our future and falling more in love with each other every day. Like any great relationship, ours is based on trust, communication and mutual respect. I speak kind words to my body, I don’t make her do things she doesn’t want to do, and I trust that she knows what she needs in any given moment. Sometimes that means making a big fat pasta dish, sometimes it means stopping when there’s still food left on the plate. I still apologise if I drink too much wine and wake up with a hangover. She forgives me and we go and do something to make us feel amazing again.

Exercise doesn’t feel like a chore, it’s a way to expend all the beautiful energy that runs through my body. I don’t slog it out at the gym to burn calories or punish myself for overeating, I move in ways that feel good. Lifting weights makes me feel powerful, dancing makes me feel sexy as hell. My body is an incredible vehicle I have been given to fully engage in this earthly experience, and I love it regardless of its shape or size.

I know this is an ongoing process - as my body changes, I will need to continue practicing self love and some times are going to be harder than others, but never again will I let insecurity hold me back (for too long). 

The beauty standards set by society will continue to change, but I reserve the right to decide what’s beautiful to me, and my definition of beauty is all encompassing - there is room for everyone. I am so excited to see - in our lifetime - a generation of women liberated from the shackles of self loathing, free to share their unique gifts with the world and I am so grateful for the women before me who have publicly embraced their bodies at every size.

Wherever you are on the journey, may these words guide your way home.

Do not be afraid to take up space. Consciously expand until your presence rivals galaxies. Should your body say anything about Who You Are, let it say nothing of willpower or self-control, let it tell the story of your curiosity, your bravery, your compassion. Should you seek to be less of anything, may you be less worried about making yourself look acceptable.

May the only picture of your progress be the feeling of expansion in your Spirit. When you go looking for validation or your sense of Self, may you go only to the Source of all Love that lives inside of you. 

May you appreciate your body as the temporary home your soul chose to inhabit. May you honor her sovereignty and listen to her wisdom. May you praise her in public and pleasure her in private.

When you look at your body may you see our mother earth incarnate; in every crevice and fault line, in the veins that run like rivers, in all the mountains and valleys that ripple across your skin. 

And when the time comes for you to leave, may it be with gratitude as the veil is lifted and the joy of returning to the infinite oneness from which you came... can no longer be contained.

Jae x

If you are looking for more on this topic, check out the recommended resources below. I also run a weekly circle called ‘Love the Skin You’re In’ and I’d love to have you along. (If you’re based in SE Qld / Northern NSW, check it out here > https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/love-the-skin-youre-in-tickets-626697347637)

Recommended Resources

Embrace the documentary - https://bodyimagemovement.com/embrace-the-documentary/

The Well-Fed Woman - www.rachelwcole.com/blog

Poodle Science - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H89QQfXtc-k

I Didn’t Wake up Like this - https://www.buzzfeed.com/sonamkapoor/i-didnt-wake-up-like-this?utm_term=.clmdDBLaw#.kboeY8g6O

10 Principles of Intuitive Eating - http://www.intuitiveeating.com/content/10-principles-intuitive-eating

Psychology of Eating Podcast - http://psychologyofeating.com/podcasts/

Lauren Beckett, Body Love Coach - http://dropthestruggle.com/

[asm5129]

Flash thoughts 9x05

BATWOMAN IS BACK BITCHES

God it’s great to see Javicia back in the suit. 

Red Death was fantastic this episode, though I’m actually a little upset we got so much of Red Death Ryan and so little of OUR Ryan. Don’t get me wrong it was amazing to see Javicia back in the Arrowverse at all, and she killed it as red death, but i just wish we got more of a Flash/Batwoman team-up. Kinda feel a little cheated on that.

Also didn’t Ryan literally DISAPPEAR ON PATROL? What the hell happened to that? she’s just back suddenly and we don’t know why she disappeared or where she was. She wasn’t captured by Red Death, she just disappeared for a few weeks then just...reappeared? And there’s no details on why or how or where she was? the hell? 

Still, Red Death was super threatening--though they should have directed Javicia to stay calm more, i think she regularly came off far more threatening calm. And man, that goddamn voice changer. I don’t like that at all. To take away the voice AND face really hurts the actors ability to act. It’s worked for Thanwe and Zoom, and Savitar a little bit, but beyond that it’s lost all appeal for me. 

Honestly I’m just kinda shocked the Red Death storyline seems to be over? I was kinda under the impression she’d be a season long Big Bad, due to how the Graphic Novel format--where the season is split into two or even three major arcs/threats, rather than a single one--was created to make sure over the course of 22 episode seasons they would avoid another Cicada situation, where a villain ends up feeling that their time as a threat has been artificially extended past the time it feels like Team flash should have a handle on things. It was a fantastic call for 22 episode seasons, but I’ll be honest I did not think they would continue that in a 13 episode season. Red Death was definitely great, and this was a great last episode that really sold her threat level, but it does feel like this whole thing happened awfully quick. Luckily she IS just over in Iron Heights, so her story probably isn’t COMPLETELY over.

My initial thoughts about the line “Justice will be served” line paid off pretty damn well though. shouldn’t have given her the I Am Vengeance line. I get that this is Ryan Wayne and that’s an iconic Batman line, but in her mind this is not about vengeance, and that’s a really interesting concept i wish was explored more. Ah well. C’est la vie.

I’m assuming Red Death’s telepathic powers were artificial like her speed, since she said she spent tons of time studying her enemies abilities and working to replicate them. Wish it was clarified though, cuz it was weird to see Red Death with powerful psychic abilities all of a sudden when they weren’t there before. 

Or just make it all Grodd? Rather than giving Ryan psychic abilities he boosted, maybe just make him the source of the psychic stuff that she used in her plan. Regardless, not the worst thing ever, just a little weird.

Speaking of Grodd, he makes his grand return here, and i think it’s pretty solid! I don’t think forgetting about Grodd was his BIGGEST mistake--there’s a lot of contender' for that spot, this doesn’t even crack Top Five--so that was a weird line. BUT I do like how he’s used as a way to get Barry to reflect on his form of heroism, and have faith that Grodd is no longer who he used to be. Find it a little weird he questioned whether the Rogues were able to change? I dunno it just felt a little artificial for Barry to question his ability to bring out the good in people this far in, but i do like (most of) the talk he had with Joe. So happy these kinds of emotional, inspirational talks are so much rarer, two seasons ago they were happening every 5 minutes and they lost any impact because of it. This instead let both Barry and Joe reflect on their relationships to and impacts on one another, and it’s very sweet. And i do like the decision he comes to in order to raise Jenna safely, but not take away Cecile from her rise into heroism or abandon his family.

Regardless, it all works quite well, and Grodd giving Barry the speed back he gave him three years ago was a fun detail. Plus tying it into the continued fallout of Crisis was a nice touch. 

Allegra and Chuck are FINALLY official so it’s nice to have that story done after building it up for so long, though there’s not much time to explore that so we’ll see what comes next for them.

And the weirdness with Khione kept up this week, which seemingly is going to lead directly into next week!

All in all, pretty solid episode. Some pretty large flaws, but not unforgivable ones. 

I’d probably rate the Red Death Arc 5 out of 10 if i had to put a number on it, but that’s mainly because it was only 5 episodes and don't really have the time to do itself justice rather than the fact that it was actually mediocre. 

oh yeah and Iris is pregnant early

[sphericalbee]

bro if either of my irls see this i will look crazy pahtetic idk maybe ill delete iti should probably just leaves this ini the drafts

im pretty pathetic irl anyway i think lol wo who carse

im thinking ab my middle school best friend and i miss her so much it isnt even funny

idk if i was her best friend but i always loved her so much and i think about her almost every day even 2 years later

ik she wasnt doing well and she didnt come from a good home and was awful at managing her emotions and didnt talk to anyone and she would sh (i only know ab bc of some complicated secret poetry thing but she never knew i had seen that but i think she meant me to) and i think she cared about me? i kinda hope not bc i want her to be happy

but i would genuinely give anything to go back in time and talk to her again for just a few hours

i want to text her and tell her everything but idk its too weird after 2 years

i think she deserves to know how much i care about her,, right?

i had to pause twice writing this bc i was crying too hard i worry about her so much

its good im godo at crying silently lol no one can even tell so sneaky

i saw a girl with the same hair as her last week and i teared up in the middle of the hallway because it hit me how much i dont know what shes doing or if shes even alive bc i KNOW hse wasnt fucknig donig well

my cat was trying to comfort me but i think he got bored and left he's so cute lmfoa my brain made it into a very angsty analogy b4 i had the chance to stop it 💀

im this close to cracking and spam texting her

i googled her just now and found her linkedin profile of fucking course shes on linkedin thats so inc harecetr where she says she wants to go to medical school and she uses fucking stupid old words like candor and idk i hope she gets into her dream college

im sure she can she was always so smart i thknk shell do rly well and maybe one day shell perform open heart surgery on me lol that would be baller

"I believe in honesty because it creates an environment that permits integrity. Allowing for candor leads to an honorable work space. Integrity is an essential value to have as it holds all to a high ethical standard. Integrity adds trust, which is necessary for professionalism. I plan to enroll in a four-year college for a master's degree to study biochemistry. I then intend to go to medical school and earn a doctorate."

she fucking talked like that even at 13 yeah and she liked running and read all the time and she loved gamed of thrones and i still own one of her shitty books and we met when she was challenging classmates to race and she was so tall and had pretty hair

sophia im sorry for crying i think it would make her uncomfortable haha

i have fucking snot on my face now shed forsure be uncomfortable lmfaoo

ill go watch some tv show and try not to burst into tears again in 10 minutes ugh maybe it would be better if i had stayed depressed having this many feelings is driving me crazy why r u here bro : /

i should make a secret vent account LMFAO my followers r here for ohshc and mq not sob stories sorry sorry

[strawbxrryneptune]

Level Two

Word count: 2.6K

Cw: pussyjob, exhibitionism, slight voyeurism, oral (fem!receiving), infidelity if you squint, unedited.

This fic and the fics following will contain monster fucking, cucking and threesomes!! If you are not comfortable, try out some of my other works, and Miggi's creations, but if you wish to proceed, remember, sharing is caring.

Prev~♡ Next ~♡

@miggiisdumb

From a young age you were taught to keep your emotions in check. Queens must never show weakness to enemies. Crying and screaming were to be left in private, so that you came off as cool and collected. The Mushroom kingdom needs someone level-headed. They need someone they know won't act rashly.

You came to a conclusion that you were the one they needed, the Queen that could handle herself in any situation. You could get a husband, rule a kingdom, maybe even raise some spawns of yourself. You were convinced you had the bag, but now, sitting on a boulder at the falls and watching two sweaty, bulky men wrestle and growl at each other, you weren't so sure.

You had been trying to keep your emotions in check the whole week. Kirishima was constantly inviting you to hang with him and Bakugou, and you didn't know how much you could take. Kirishima's kisses had you on fire,, his big hands grabbing at your ass and tongue sliding against yours, but Bakugou's heated stares and occasional touches had your head spinning in confusion and arousal. He had a weird thing for grabbing and kneading at your hips, and it was starting to get to you.

Kirishima had invited you to join him and Bakugou in a swim at the falls, the water there crisp and beautiful, said to bring years of youth to whoever was worthy. Of course, you agreed. Any princess would jump at the opportunity to swim in a magic body of water with her suitor and his dreamy friend. Kirishima had shown up in blue swim trunks, an extra change of clothes cradled in his strong arms and some sandwiches to munch on later. Bakugou wore a black loin cloth, bigger and a little longer than the one he usually wore. His choker and bracelets were laid out in the grass next to Kirishima's clothes and the food, but he didn't look any less intimidating. If anything, he looked even scarier, hair drenched and falling down around his eyes, glowing red as he growls and bares his fangs, pouncing on Kiri and snarling out threats.

"M'gonna destroy you, Red."

"You have to catch me first, Bro!"

Kirishima dives under the water, Bakugou following shortly after, and you chuckle to yourself. 

Soon, though, you start to get worried, cause it's been almost 2 minutes and they haven't come back up. 

Calling their names, you shrug your cover up off and get in the water, shivering slightly at the chill. As you get deeper and deeper, water up to your chest, you start to panic.

"Kiri? Bakugou? If this is a joke it's not-ah-!"

You scream in surprise and slight fear as you're suddenly lifted onto a broad, scarred chest. Your thighs are on either side of it, and  tense up when you feel the vibrations of a deep, raspy chuckle, and you fight the urge to thread your shaky fingers in ash blonde hair.

"Bakugou, put me down."

You try to keep your voice leveled but he picks up on the tremble, big, warm hands reaching up to grab at the fat of your hips, lifting you up further onto his chest.

"That wouldn't be fun now would it Princess?"

You gasp, glancing down at how your cunt is inches away from his mouth, drool spilling around the corners as he struggles to keep his eyes on yours.

“Seriously, y-you gotta…” your voice wavers as you meekly push at his drenched hair, momentarily losing your train of thought when he’s tongue lolls out, sticky with saliva and long. “What if Kiri sees us?”

“If ya keep quiet, he won’t.” The fleeting look of hunger and a nip on your thigh is all the warning you get. 

Bakugou guns for your cunt before you can answer and you act like he shocked you by the way you lurch forward, jaw slanted, clinging to his curved horns, entire body shivering from the firm laps on your mound. Even with the bottom half of the swimsuit on, you could still feel every lick in pin point detail, every nudge of his hot muscles between your folds, just barely pressing into your hole and tongue flicking over your clit. Bakugou can feel it too- the way you're throbbing on his tongue, can even taste the mix of his drool and your arousal seeping through quicker then he was lapping. It drove him wild.

He groans, eyes a little crossed to watch his handy work, hoists you higher and shakes his head further between your legs and your eyes roll back when he starts sucking on your entire pussy. Too hard for you to keep quiet. Too hard for the slurps not to sound exactly like what it looks like. 

“B-Bakugou, it’s too much!” You pant, quick and shallow, yet use your weak grip on his horns to hump his face desperately. “I think I’m g-gonna… gonna…!”

He growls, literally growls like the beast he is, and you almost do cum just by his fiery look up at you with a mouthful of your twitching cunny, unlatching with a wet pop that has sticky strings of your slick smacking on his chin. 

“Take it off.” He demands, words coming out muffled because he’s already back on your cunt. “Wanna taste you cummin’ in my mouth. C’mon, Princess. Lemme drink you up, baby.”

A shaky hand slips between the two of you, pulling your bathing suit to the side, and the next moment you’re squealing to the heavens above when Bakugou curled his tongue into you, spreading your walls apart on his tongue. His eyes flickered closed with a deep moan at the sensation of you spasming around him, juices nearly flooded into his mouth, but he gulps it down greedily, Adam’s apple bobbing and cheeks hollowing. 

You have no idea how long you stayed arched in his mouth riding out your orgasm, unable to tell if you were seeing clouds or if your vision really went that blurry. For one last time, Bakugou shook his head on your cunt and pulled back with a “puah!”, hot huffs of his breaths panting on your drenched up sex. God, you tasted better than you smelled. Bakugou would live between your thighs if he could, make you moan and squeal like you did, make you flush and look completely fucked out, so pretty as you stare down at him with lidded, hazy eyes, plump lips parted to catch your breath, gentle fingers raking his hair and the base of his horns that sent shivers down his spine. 

He’d have you forever if he could. If only you weren’t promised to-

“Bakugou, you drowned or something? Where are you, man?” Kirishima’s voice comes from behind some boulders a small distance away from where the two of you are and your heart skyrockets to your throat, the sudden tightness in your gut clenching all of you up in dread. Bakugou on the other hand just slid you down into the water, trying to keep any splashing sounds to a minimum, though both of you had to swallow back a sound when you brushed over his bulge on the way down. 

Bakugou swims by you in time to Kiri finally rounding the rocks, brows creased and a little pout on his lips, and you relaxed a bit when you realized he was upset over swimming alone all this time. His eyes flick from Bakugou to you, pout disappearing as he perked up a bit in surprise.

 “(Y/N), when did you get into the water?”

You open your mouth but don't get a word out. “Came in lookin’ f’us.” Bakugou says nonchalantly, glances over his shoulder to you and you don’t miss the heat of his stare bouncing up your form for a hot second. “Clearly worried over nothin’.”

Oh, this bastard…

Kirishima hums as he swims your way, gives you his million dollar sweet smile with a gentle cup of your cheeks. “Sorry, baby. Didn’t mean to make you worry.”

Your bottom lip puckers in a pout even though you’re already long since mad, specially with his thumb brushing drawing circles on your cheek. “Just warm me next time. Thought you idiots drowned yourselves…”

“Sorry sorry.” He laughs and pecks you a few times all over your face, until he’s kissing you on the lips, a kiss that goes on longer than expected as he slots his mouth with yours and moves his lips with passion and adoration. Your mind gets fuzzy, consumed by Kiri’s kiss and body still reeling from your moment with Bakugou, your thighs clenching underwater because your insides craved for more. 

When Kirishima pulls away, you catch a fleeting glance over to Bakugou, a heavy and solemn look on his face, conflict in his eyes before he turns away too late once he caught you staring and it all comes rushing down on you- the clear weight of guilt on your shoulders. The worst part is that you don’t know what it’s aimed at- for going behind Kirishima’s back like this? Or for making Bakugou see you with someone else while he gets scraps of affection?

You tell Kirishima that you’re alright when he asks if something is wrong, then go back to growing when he turns to resume wrestling his friend. 

Way to keep your emotions in check, huh?

The rest of the morning goes by fast, the guys wolfing down their sandwiches and still being hungry, Kirishima offering to run into town quickly and grab some more food.

You agree, standing up to go with him but being surprised when he pushes you back down, a look you can't place in his eyes as his own flicker to Bakugou, who's uprooting weeds next to you.

"Stay here, 'kay?"

You nod, dazed, and watch him disappear into the bushes, stealing a glance to Bakugou. 

"Bakugou…"

"M'sorry."

You tilt your head at him, but he won't meet your eyes, a scowl on his face as heat creeps up his neck. 

"I said I'm fuckin' sorrry. I went too far. You belong to Kiri, it's not m'place to-mmpf!"

You cut him off with a searing kiss, sliding yourself in his lap and grabbing his hair, making him stutter out a moan into your mouth, big hands gripping your hips and lifting you onto his abs, grinding you against him. 

You furrow your brows, the feeling of his abs rubbing against your puffy clit feels heavenly but you wanna touch him. You felt him when you were in the water earlier, throbbing and pulsing against you. You wanted him in your mouth.

He snarls against you, demanding attention back on him as he nips at your bottom lip before sliding his tongue against yours, panting heavily as his hands flex against your hips. You try to slide down a little more, moving your hands to rest on his meaty pecs and getting distracted by his puffy nipples.

They were so plump and flushed, they looked so sensitive it probably fucking hurt. You pull away from his mouth with a whine, trying not to smile when he chases your lips.

"You sure about this, Princess? If Kiri finds out he'll be-fuck, baby, Whaddya'doin?"

You don't answer, just give him a look under your lashes as you suckle on his nipple, eyes closing in bliss as the smell of him envelops you, fresh and crisp from the water but still musky and smoky. 

You scrape your teeth against him gently, then lick over the reddened area and moan as you suck once again.

You notice he had gone almost deathly still, and you look up at him only to almost cream yourself at the sight.

His eyes were rolled back in his head, fist in his mouth and drool spilling around the corners, dribbling down his flushed face and neck. He was trying so hard not to moan, cause he knew if he made a sound it would be loud enough for the whole Mushroom kingdom to hear.

He fucking loved getting his nipples played with, but virtually no one knew and he tried to play it off but fuck, you had him melting. 

"Yhew don' like it?"

Your words are muffled around his tit, saliva slowly trailing down his chest and forming a puddle in the divets of his abs.

"I-fuck, cut it out brat."

He tries to sound authoritative, but his voice is whiny, and you can already feel the bruises he's pressing into your hips. You hum, leaning back to look at his flushed chest, earning yourself a sigh of relief-quickly turning into a choked whimper when you switch to the other nipple, using one of your hands to tweak and pinch one while the other hand threads into his hair, grazing the sensitive base of his horns and knocking his eyes back, mouth dropping open and hands coming up to silence himself, allowing you to try and shimmy your way down onto his lap.

His unoccupied hand grips your hip even tighter, trying to keep you up and away from his cock.

"Bakugou-! Wan' yer cock"

You slur, grinding your hips onto his stomach, covered clit rubbing against his bushy pubes.

"You couldn't handle it sweetheart. We shouldn't even be doing this."

You roll your eyes, popping off his nipple and withdrawing your hands from him, reaching down to pry his hand off of your hip.

"Who are you to tell me what I can and cannot handle? You don't know what-oh."

You're cut off when he drops you down, cock sliding through your folds even over the bathing suit, so big and veiny you could feel every pulse and twitch through your bottoms.

You immediately push your swimsuit to the side, rubbing your slit up and down his dick, clit getting caught on various ridges and occasionally twitching when a throbbing vein rubbed against it. You couldn't keep your sounds down even if you wanted to, leaning forward to moan into Bakugou's ear, feeling a shudder rip through his spine.

You were making his mind foggy, he couldn't stop his hips from rutting up, knot starting to swell even though he tried to hold it back. He couldn't do this right now, even getting this far dangerous, he was way too close to his rut and couldn't risk getting you pregnant, no matter how much that thought made his head spin. Fuck, he couldn't stop thinking of you slamming those perfect fucking hips down onto his knot as you begged him to give you his kids, pleaded with him to make you a mommy-shit

His head falls forward and sharp teeth dig into your shoulder, a snarl vibrating your body before your thighs, pussy and stomach are drenched with thick cum. He can't stop, hips jerking and thighs shaking as he roars into your skin, knot still swollen and sensitive but the burning need inside of him is satiated for now. 

Before he can even lift his head up to say something, he catches a whiff of arousal, and strangely enough it isn't yours. It smells more woodsy, intense with a sweet musk, somewhat...manly?

Oh fuck.

Kirishima.

Bakugou scrambles to get up, looking at you in horror and then looking over to the trees, catching a glimpse of dark red eyes before they disappear behind a nearby tree.

"Clean yourself off in the water, Kiri will be back soon."

You stare dreamily up at him, confused as to why he looks so uneasy all of a sudden but obeying nonetheless, standing on wobbly legs and feeling dense and gooey cum drip down your legs in long streaks, a nagging feeling in the back of your fuzzy mind telling you how much of a waste it was that none of it was inside you. You make your way back to the water, unaware of two sets of red locked onto you.

[kpopfanfictrash]

Raise the Barre (Ch. 8)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Pairing: Jimin / Reader

Rating: 18+ (Eventual Smut)

Genre: Enemies to Lovers / Dance Academy!AU

Warnings: underage drinking, angst, hoseok’s bare abs

Word Count: 10,705

Summary: You and Park Jimin have been rivals for as long as you’ve known one another; ever since he tripped you in the front row of your first dance convention. When you graduate from high school and enter Russet Ballet Academy, you tell yourself you’re leaving all past quarrels behind. The main problem with this though, is that your past seems determined not to leave you alone.

Worse still, the obstacles you face while out in the real world might prove more challenging than anything your enemy has to offer.  

“Okay, even you have to admit this is too soon.” Finn stared, appalled at the chalkboard. “It’s not even Halloween!”

Laughing a little, you looped your arm around his to drag him towards the back. Plopping down in a chair, you placed your order number in the center of the table. Seating himself across the table from you, Finn began to undo his coat.

“Come on.” He grinned, brown hair flopping when he leaned forward. “Admit it – this is too early for holiday drinks.”

“Okay, maybe it’s a little early,” you acquiesced. “But Halloween is tomorrow! They probably just put up the holiday drinks so they don’t have to do it on Sunday.”

“Laziness!” he cried, jabbing a finger in the air.

Shaking your head, you smiled when Namjoon, the barista, placed a pumpkin soy latte before you.

“Thanks!” you said, pulling this towards you.

“No problem,” he said, flashing his dimples before he turned to leave.

Taking a long, slow sip of your drink, you groaned. “Oh my god. This is it. This is heaven.”

Finn laughed. “Is that seriously your first pumpkin drink of the season?” Sadly, he shook his head. “I remember our senior year, you dragged me out of bed at 7:00 AM on a Saturday just to get the first pumpkin drink of the year.”

“I know,” you sighed. “But I’ve needed the extra caffeine jolt each morning. Sweet drinks just don’t cut it anymore.”

“Ah, the first step in addiction.” Finn nodded sagely.

Smiling, you settled back in your seat as he took the first sip of his black coffee. It had been two weeks since your fight at the club and since then, Finn had been on his best behavior. For about a week, things between you had been awkward but slowly, your relationship was returning to normal.

Seated in the corner of your favorite coffee shop, you drank from your cup and glanced around the room. This was what you’d pictured when you imagined you and Finn living in the city together. Coffee dates, going on new adventures and continuing your relationship where it had left off.

Of course, this morning was only possible because Miss Britt’s ballet class had been cancelled. A contemporary master class had been scheduled for the afternoon, but your day before then was free – something you’d immediately taken advantage of by calling Finn. It was becoming easier to fit each other into your schedules, more like second nature, but things were still tense whenever things didn’t line up.

None of this was eased by the burgeoning whatever-it-was you’d shoved to the back of your mind regarding Jimin. Since the day of Mr. Vlad’s ballet class, you’d managed to keep your emotions in check, but were constantly on the lookout for dangerous situations. You and Jimin were professionals, obviously, but you were also only human. It was reasonable to have subconscious wants and desires, but these weren’t important unless you chose to act upon them.

You didn’t tell Finn about it because honestly, there was nothing to tell. Okay, so you’d felt an errant spark one day during a lift. Big deal. Finn had been your boyfriend for over two years – it would take more than that to threaten your relationship. A relationship which, frankly, had been getting stronger as of late. Telling him something as inconsequential as a spark you had with Jimin would only take you further down the wrong path.

“Are you sure you’re okay with us doing separate things tomorrow?” Finn interrupted your thoughts. His brow furrowed. “It is Halloween, after all.”

“Ah, yes.” You nodded. “Halloween, the internationally known couple’s holiday.”

He laughed. “Okay, point made – but still.”

“It’s fine,” you assured him. This was something you’d already been over. “It just makes sense like this! Your friends are going to that off-campus party and I promised Noelle I’d go to this club thing with her.”

“Right, of course.” Finn grinned. “I’m bummed I’ll miss seeing you as the Powerpuff girls, though. Who’s going to be the third one, again?”

“Well, I’m Blossom – obviously.”

“Of course.” He nodded. “Miss Responsibility.”

A twinge of annoyance went through you, but you pushed it aside. You didn’t think you were always the responsible one but admittedly, you’d been more on edge than usual lately.

“Anyways,” you continued with a roll of your eyes. “I’m Blossom, Noelle is Buttercup and Irene is going as Bubbles. It’ll be fun! Aside from the whole club part, of course.”

“It does sound fun,” Finn admitted, a tad mournful. “Meanwhile, I’ve been roped into the classic college bro costume of Ghostbusters.”

“Oh, come on! That is classic! You’ll be super cute in your… suit? Cargo pants? What do Ghostbusters wear again?”

“Knowing Ben, something tragic from Party City. Pray for me.”

“I’ll light candles.”

Finn grinned, sipping his coffee again and your conversation slipped naturally to other topics.

Halloween fell on a Saturday this year, which meant every college campus was gearing up for some epic parties. Noelle had managed to snag tickets to a club fancy enough to require an RSVP. Apparently, said brother she missed was a DJ and could get tickets to a lot of things if Noelle bothered to ask.

A bunch of people from Russet were going, which made you excited. There hadn’t been many parties with your classmates so far this semester. Despite technically being in college, your classmates were all under the same intense pressure, only made worse by constant early morning ballet.

This week though, even your teachers seemed to have decided you needed a break. Aside from the master class you had this afternoon, there were zero Russet classes until Monday morning. The break in schedule meant you could actually go out – and drink – if you so decided. You and Noelle were planning on attending a ballet class tomorrow, but your entire day after would be free.

You’d originally planned on seeing Finn during the day, but then he’d been invited to a Halloween darty (day party) starting at noon. Despite not seeing Finn on Halloween, you weren’t feeling stressed. It was only one holiday and not even a couple’s one, as you’d said.

After coffee, you kissed Finn goodbye and headed to class at Danley Hall. The atmosphere was different as soon as you entered the classroom – all of the students were buzzing, excited by the prospect of the weekend ahead. The excitement only grew when coupled with the fact that today’s class was contemporary.

For nearly two months, your training had been mostly ballet. This was the foundation of all western dance, and where most dance students were expected to start. Finally though, you were being given a chance to show off. Today’s teacher, Luna Jordan, was a well-known contemporary choreographer across the globe.

You’d done a master class with her once back in high school and honestly couldn’t wait to learn from her again. She wasn’t alone, though, you noticed as you walked in – an unfamiliar, dark-haired guy stood beside her, stretching lithely before the room’s mirror.

“Holy shit,” Noelle whispered as she came to a stop. “That’s Jeon Jungkook.”

Startled, you looked twice and saw she was right. You hadn’t recognized him without his bevy of followers, but Jeon Jungkook was known in the dance world. A child prodigy, he’d been on America’s Got Talent at age eleven and finished in second place. Following this, his family had moved to LA and he’d been in high demand for movies, music videos and performances ever since.

You remembered hearing he worked with Luna Jordan, but the thought hadn’t crossed your mind before now that he might be here.

Noelle cocked her head to one side. “He’s hot.”

“Noelle,” you hissed, trying to shush her.

“What!” A devious grin spread across her face. “Am I supposed to be blind, as well as mute?”

“Well, no, but –”

“Alright, everyone!” Miss Luna clapped her hands together. “I know everyone is excited for the weekend, but we unfortunately have an hour and a half together before then. Everyone spread out for warm-ups!”

A few people laughed, spreading out on the floor as class began. Noelle wriggled her eyebrows, pulling you towards the front in order to get the best spot. Hiding a smile, you ducked your head and settled beside her into a stretch.

Noelle was nearly as excited as you were for the opportunity to dance contemporary. Most of your classmates knew this to be your forte – you caught glances from the corner of your eye while you warmed up, trying not to let their attention get to your head.

Jimin was also near the front, although on the opposite side. You suspected your class was equally excited to see him perform – as talented as Jimin was at ballet, there was a reason you hadn’t thought he’d be at Russet this fall. Jimin’s strength in jazz and contemporary was unparalleled. You would’ve thought he’d gone to LA to become a dancer like Jungkook.

Speaking of whom – Jungkook really was attractive; that much couldn’t be denied. He had dark, wavy hair pulled into a bun and cheekbones sharp enough to cut glass. When he glanced up from his stretch, his gaze somehow found yours and he smiled.

Eyes widening, you stared until you caught sight of Jimin behind him. Glancing between the two of you, Jimin’s expression soured before he looked away. Lips parting, you felt the sudden urge to say something, but there was too much distance between you.

“You ready?” Miss Luna called, an upbeat pop song blasting from the stereo. “Let’s go!”

She launched into isolations, leaving the rest of the class to follow. Warm-ups passed quickly and before you knew it, you were gathered at center to learn the combination. Miss Luna’s style was right up your alley. The steps came easily and, once you’d learned the whole chorus, she left you alone to practice.

You were helping Ari with a difficult move when you caught sight of Sabrina as you turned. She’d positioned herself near the back, which had to be a first. Usually, Sabrina was front and center to allow for maximum receipt of teacher praise.

The decision to stand near the back could’ve been strategy – sometimes, dancers did that at conventions. Conventions were giant weekends of competition with teachers from all over the globe who taught master classes to hundreds of dancers in hotel ballrooms and convention centers. Space at the front tended to be limited, so some stayed at the back, where there was more room to dance and be seen. You had a greater likelihood to capture the teacher’s attention when you had the room to do incredible leaps.

Sabrina’s decision didn’t seem strategic, though. While you watched, Sabrina stumbled transitioning from one move to the next. A brief twinge of pity went through you.

It was easy enough to spot ballerinas dancing anything but ballet. Although ballet was the root of modern westernized dance, it could be hard to translate into other styles. Ballet was more rigid than contemporary, jazz or hip-hop. In ballet, each position was defined, individual style was limited, and dancers were expected to all look the same. Standing out in the corps de ballet was equally frowned upon as missing an entrance.

Not that ballet wasn’t important to all dance styles, mind you. Even hip-hop dancers took ballet to improve their balance, core strength and general understanding of the body. There was an element of individuality in other dance styles, though, which lacked in ballet. Contemporary and hip-hop dancers were expected to have relentless technique all while creating their own, unique flair.

Just looking at Sabrina you could clearly see the holes. She was trying so hard to emulate the moves of Miss Luna, she was kind of missing the point. When Miss Luna did a certain flick of the wrist, it wasn’t a defined part of the choreography, but rather an individual choice.

Without thinking, you took a step forward – only to stop. Sabrina wouldn’t want your help; she’d already made that abundantly clear. Besides, you knew her friend Katie to be a contemporary dancer. She could help Sabrina and yet, when you looked, you saw Katie practicing near the front with Jungkook.

Jungkook obviously knew the steps, since this was probably the tenth time he’d learned the combination. Dance teachers often did that – selected a dancer to attend classes with them, traveling to different cities to demonstrate the combination and help when they weren’t free.

Before you could decide whether to help Sabrina, Miss Luna clapped her hands again.

“Let’s do groups!” she declared. “I’ll count you off into groups of four, and each group will showcase. Sound good?”

It wasn’t really a question so much as an announcement. The rest of the class nodded, waiting while Miss Luna counted you off. You ended up in the same group as Irene, Paulo and a few others. Jimin and Noelle were in the group two, while Sabrina was in the group after theirs.

Jogging off to the side, you waited while the first group took center. You were part of group four, which meant you’d be amongst the last to dance on the floor. When the music began, you closed your eyes and began to mark the combination. You tried not to focus on what anyone else was doing, but this became difficult once Noelle’s group stepped up.

Noelle had trained in jazz and contemporary, although she’d stopped in high school to focus mainly on ballet. Still, her artistry shone in her movement. She could definitely stand to loosen up a bit but was still one of the best in the bunch. You found yourself smiling when she landed a turn, silently cheering her on from the side.

While you were watching, Jimin cut across your vision.

Dropping to the ground, he rolled and arched as his forehead brushed wood. His quality of movement was breathtaking and for a moment, you felt like you were back in high school.

Suddenly returned to those dimmed auditoriums, you watched Jimin take the stage like an otherworldly being. His body seemed to move before your mind could comprehend. Barely did he finish one move before he was starting another, the steps flowing endlessly together like unhindered water. Although you knew the combination and knew how you would dance it, watching Jimin perform was a different experience entirely.

Ballet required dancers to stay on the beat but in contemporary, they were expected to lag. Extensions were all the more breathtaking when they clung to the last second, seeming as though the dancer might not make it before they caught up. Jimin was an expert in this, knowing exactly when to hang precariously over the edge and when to pull back.

Watching him dance, that pesky, strange something bloomed in your chest again.

Squashing this quickly, you looked away and resumed marking the combo. The end of the song was improvisation though and, unable to stop yourself, you found your attention drifting to Jimin again. He was ridiculously beautiful – you nearly didn’t hear when Miss Luna called for them to stop. As she turned off the music, she applauded the group while they walked from the floor.

Breathing heavily, Noelle came to a stop alongside you and – somewhat guiltily, since you hadn’t been watching – you gave her a high-five.

“That was awesome!” you said with a grin. “You definitely stood out in the group.”

Noelle snort-laughed. “Not with Jimin up there, but that’s okay. This is his specialty – and yours,” she added with a wink. “I’m psyched for group four.”

“Ah,” you groaned, rubbing your neck. “Too much pressure.”

Noelle laughed, shaking her head as group three took the floor. Both of you fell silent to watch, your curious gaze finding Sabrina in the back. Sabrina looked almost nervous; an emotion which seemed out of place on her features. It made her look almost human.

As soon as the music began, you stifled a wince. Sabrina stood out from the group, and not in a good way. She had the combination down but moved with a woodenness you would’ve expected from someone half her age. It was enough for you to glance at Miss Luna, wondering if she had noticed.

“Wow,” Noelle whispered, looking almost gleeful. “Sabrina is terrible.”

“Noelle!” you whisper-laughed.

“What? After everything she’s done? After everything she’s said?” Noelle’s gaze narrowed. “Sabrina deserves this.”

Despite privately agreeing, you couldn’t help but feel bad as Sabrina continued. Not wanting to watch any longer, you turned towards the front and resumed marking the combo. As soon as Miss Luna cut the music and polite clapping ensued, you turned back around.

It was time for group four. A shaky, sick feeling entered your stomach as you walked to center. So many eyes were on you, but it had been so long since you danced contemporary. You couldn’t help but wonder if you were as good as people seemed to imagine. Surrounded by so many dancers at Russet, surely your own talent would pale in comparison.

As soon as the music began though, everything faded. Insecurities slipping away, a lightness entered your chest as, eyes falling shut, you slowly inhaled.

Taking a step forward, you opened your eyes and began.

To you, dance had several phases. The first was learning, where you memorized each step and put them in order. The second was understanding, where your muscle memory began to take over and the combination felt smoother. The final phase, performance, was when you thought not of the steps, and were free to just dance.

This was your favorite phrase. In this phase, your mind separated from your body, leaving you only with sweat and emotion. Dance was the only art form composed solely of the body. An odd combination of physical strength and artistic beauty, it was both a testament to human capability and human emotion.

Losing yourself in the music, you ebbed and flowed through the combination until the choreography ended and improvisation began. Finally, you let go and held nothing back. Raw, unbridled passion poured out as you lost sight of yourself, so consumed by the movement.

When the song finally finished and you came to a stop, you were panting for breath. Glancing up, the first person you saw was Jimin.

He stood off to one side, leaning casually against the rungs of the barre, but his expression was anything but. Focused on you, his gaze had turned dark in a way which made you catch your breath.

Miss Luna clapped both hands once again, returning your attention to her. Blinking, Jimin shook his head and in your peripheral, you saw him straighten.

“Very good!” Miss Luna scanned the group. “I know our time is nearly at and end, but why don’t we have a few students come out and demonstrate?”

Again, this was fairly common in master classes. After learning the combination, teachers would often single out students to perform as examples. It wasn’t always the students with the best technique who got chosen. Oftentimes, it was as much for passion and performance quality.

Taking a step forward, Miss Luna began to call out names. You were one of the first – setting your water down, you jogged back to center. Jimin was the next person called, then Noelle, much to your excitement. Jungkook was also instructed to join on the floor.

Turning the lights halfway down, Miss Luna pressed play and let you improvise until the combination began. Jungkook started dancing and honestly, he was beautiful, but you couldn’t linger on him for long. 

Catching sight of Jimin again, you were once more transported to earlier times. This wasn’t the first time you’d been called out together. Oftentimes, this had happened at conventions but back then, your mind had been too clouded to see him for who he was.

You’d always wanted to beat him in high school, but now, you were consumed by the oddest desire to see him do well.

Glancing up, Jimin caught your gaze and he smiled – but then, the combination began.

By the time you were finished, you could hardly catch your breath but somehow, you felt the most alive you’d been in ages. Back in your own element, surrounded by some of the most amazing dancers in the world – this was what you’d imagined when you came to Russet.

People around the room clapped, some of them begrudgingly. You got the impression many of your classmates weren’t used to not being chosen. As you walked from the floor, you saw surprisingly, Sabrina wasn’t amongst them.

Instead, Sabrina simply looked tired – as though she’d tried her best and it hadn’t been enough. You knew that look. You sympathized with that look.

The look lingered in the back of your mind while you packed up your things and listened to Noelle discuss Halloween tomorrow. When she mentioned Ari had decided to visit her family this weekend, an idea began to form in your mind.

“Wait,” you interrupted, looking up. “Ari can’t come tomorrow?”

Noelle shook her head. “Her brother just turned eighteen, so her whole family is having a party or something.”

“So… her ticket is free, then?”

“Yes…” Noelle paused. “Why? Y/N, what are you planning?”

“Okay. Hear me out,” you said as you shrugged on your coat. It was cold enough now for the coat to be necessary.

Noelle sighed, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “Alright, I’m listening.”

Glancing away, you saw Sabrina packing her things on the other side of the room. Before you could talk yourself out of it, you returned to Noelle.

“What if we invited Sabrina?”

Noelle snorted. “Pass.”

“Noelle,” you laughed, reaching out for her arm. “Come on! Do you really think she’s doing anything for Halloween?”

“Probably not. And that’s her own fault.”

“Maybe,” you said, glancing at Sabrina once more. “But how could it hurt? We have an extra ticket, there’ll be tons of people tomorrow night. She’ll probably say no – at least this way, you can claim a write-off on your way into heaven!”

Noelle upper lip twitched. “Oh, is that how write-offs work?”

“Well, I can only assume.”

Finally, she laughed. “Ugh, fine. You can invite her – but only because it’s Halloween, and Halloween is a time for peace. And slutty costumes.”

“Thanks, babe,” you said, squeezing her waist in a one-armed hug.

Sighing exaggeratedly, Noelle waved aside your thanks. Hiking your bag higher, you began to make your way across the room. As you closed in on Sabrina, you began to rethink your choice. It had been nearly a month since anything bad had happened between you but still, you found yourself feeling wary. As tough as you pretended to be, rejection hurt you just as much as the next person.

Still, dancing with Jimin had been a reminder of just how bitter your relationship used to be. If that relationship could change, you had to imagine things with Sabrina could, too.

Coming to a stop at her bag, you waited for her to look up. When she finally did, her brow wrinkled in confusion.

“What?” Sabrina asked, sounding defensive. “What do you want, Y/N?”

You couldn’t really blame her for her suspicion. Had your situations been reversed, you would’ve been equally distrustful. It was likely Sabrina thought you were coming over to gloat, or say something to do with class today. Another twinge of pity went through you as Sabrina zipped her bag shut to stand.

“I just wanted to know what you were doing tomorrow,” you said, trying to smile. “Noelle has an extra ticket to a Halloween party, and we thought you might like to come.”

Sabrina stared. “What?”

“Tomorrow is Halloween,” you said, a bit slower. “You know – when we were kids, it was all about costumes and candy. Now, it’s about costumes and booze?”

Sabrina failed to crack a smile. “And you want… me to come to this party?”

Something about the way she said this made you sad, as though she genuinely thought this might be a joke. As though at any moment, someone might jump out and yell SIKE.

“Yeah,” you said, softening a little. “Look – it’s not a big deal if you can’t make it. A bunch of our class is going though, so we thought of you.”

Sabrina hesitated, then glanced at the door. “Okay,” she said, looking back. “Okay, yeah. I’ll come.”

Stifling your surprise, you nodded. “Great. I’ll text you where to meet us tomorrow before the club. Wear a costume,” you added before walking away. “Noelle said it’s required.”

“Alright,” Sabrina said, so quiet you almost missed it.

Walking away, you were nearly at the door when Jungkook popped up before you. Flashing a smile, he fixed a loose strand of hair away from his face. Feet fumbling to a stop, you could only stare.

“Y/N, right?” he said, sounding shy.

Unable to find the words, you blinked in response. The way Jungkook danced had been so confident, you’d only assumed this to be his off-floor persona, as well. Hearing him sound shy was unexpected. 

Also – you hadn’t expected him to know your name.

“I… yeah, that’s me.” Shaking your head, you smiled. “Jungkook, right?”

“Yeah.” He nodded. “I just wanted to say I’m such a big fan of your dancing. It was great to take class with you today.”

Without meaning to, a laugh escaped your lips. Jungkook stared at you, baffled until you quickly waved him off.

“Oh, no – no! Sorry,” you said. “I’m not laughing at you! I’m just laughing at the ridiculousness of you saying you’re a fan of me.”

Some of Jungkook’s wariness disappeared, and a small smile played across his lips.

“Well, I am.” His grin widened. “I used to assist on the convention circuit, too and I remember you being called out all the time. You and Jimin,” he added, glancing across the room.

You looked, too and saw Jimin still packing his things. His back was stiff, pointedly not looking in your direction. Lingering on him a moment, you returned to Jungkook.

“Still,” you said with a laugh. “It’s a bit of a stretch to say we took class together when you’re the teacher’s assistant.”

“True.” Jungkook paused. “Well, next time you’re in LA, let’s fix that. Let me know if you’re ever in town and we can take a class together.”

Despite yourself, your brows raised. It was harmless, but Jungkook was definitely flirting with you. He was attractive, sure and seemed nice, but he lived in LA and you had a boyfriend. You should probably leave before things had the chance to go any further. The last thing you needed was another complication. Adjusting your bag, you gave Jungkook a small smile.

“Sounds like a plan,” you said before turning away.

Jungkook chuckled from behind. “Bye, Y/N.”

As you joined Noelle at the door, she stared over your shoulder.

“What?” you said, coming to a stop.

Noelle’s gaze moved to yours in disbelief. “How?” she demanded as you exited class. “How do you have all these men just… tripping over themselves for you?”

Heat rising to your face, you shook your head. “That’s – I,” you sputtered. “You’re being ridiculous!”

“Am I?” Noelle grinned. “First Jimin, now Jungkook… and all this while having a boyfriend.” 

“I… you... Jimin is not tripping over himself for me!”

Both her brows shot way, way up. “Is that the only part of the sentence you took objection to?”

“Shut up,” you groaned and shoved her in the side.

Noelle laughed but nodded. “Alright, fine! I’ll stop. Did Sabrina say she’ll come?”

“She did.”

“Great. I still don’t like her,” Noelle said, pushing open the door. “But I guess you’re right, I have an extra ticket. It’s nice to be nice.”

You laughed, pulling your coat tighter as you walked outside. “You’re a saint.”

While you walked, your phone dinged and pulling this from your pocket, you saw a notification on Instagram. Jeon_Jungkook97 has followed you.

Shaking your head, you returned this to your jacket as you continued. While it was nice of Jungkook to compliment your dancing, his approval didn’t mean as much as certain other peoples had. This realization stuck in your mind, making you wonder about Noelle’s teasing jibe.

She had said Jimin flirted with you, but that wasn’t true – was it? You would have known if Jimin were flirting. It was hard to pick out though, since Jimin was friendly with everyone. That was just who he was; as he’d said earlier, he liked to be liked. A note of uncertainty entered your thoughts though, recalling the ballet class with your chest pressed to his. Shoving this away, you forced yourself to focus on the upcoming weekend.

Halloween was a night for fun, for letting loose and enjoying yourself with your friends. You refused to let the night be spoiled by any lingering feelings – either from you, or towards you.

The next night was perfect Halloween weather.

Chilly, but not cold enough to risk snow falling. There were several Halloweens from childhood you could recall trick-or-treating with a winter coat flung over your costume because the temperature had dropped below freezing.

You, Noelle and Irene showed up to Paulo’s house around 8:00 PM, shivering a little while you stood on his doorstep. Paulo was one of the few freshmen who lived off-campus, having known several upperclassmen before he came to Russet. The brownstone he lived in was cute, with window boxes you imagined hosted flowers in the summer.

Tugging your pink and black minidress down, you adjusted your bow as Paulo opened the door.

Blinking, he took in your costumes. “The Powerpuff girls!” He cheered, raising an arm overhead. “Try not to take down any of the villains upstairs, yeah?”

“No promises,” said Irene, flicking hair over her shoulder.

Entering the house, you heard thumping bass from an apartment upstairs. Paulo lived on the third floor and as you climbed the steps, the music grew louder. It took Paulo two tries to shove open the door – “warped wood,” he explained – but once you were inside, you saw familiar faces.

“The Powerpuff girls!” Jasmine cried, jumping up from the couch. “Finally! Thank god – can you take down Eamon? He came here dressed as a potato, or something.”

“It’s an avocado!” Eamon shouted from the kitchen. He was dressed in a round, green costume with a halo overhead. “I’m ‘holy guacamole’ – get it?” he said, pointing at the halo.

Jasmine stared at him a moment. “That’s terrible. Worse than mine,” she said with a wave down her body. “I’ve been Princess Jasmine for the past five Halloweens. It’s easy to remember and I already have the outfit.”

Laughing, you shrugged off your coat and added this to a pile on the couch. “It’s a classic,” you agreed as you turned.

Noelle had managed to procure at least twenty tickets to the party tonight, so a lot of your freshman Russet class was in attendance. Including Sabrina, who stood in the corner, talking to Louis over cups of red punch. She looked up when you entered, pausing before she gave a small wave. Surprised by the gesture, you did the same.

“No.” Noelle groaned, coming to a stop alongside you. When you looked, you saw she’d already removed her coat. “Tell me Sabrina didn’t come to this party dressed as a ballerina.”

“We did invite her at the last minute,” you laughed. “Hard to find a good Halloween costume in a day.”

“Hey,” Noelle argued. “There’s no we here. You were the one who invited her, and you’ll be the one to accept the consequences should your social experiment fail.”

“Done,” you agreed. “Speaking of social experiments though, I’m ready to get drunk tonight. Where’s the alcohol?”

“Kitchen!” Irene called, brushing past. “Or – that’s where Brian disappeared to when we entered, so I can only assume.”

Telling Noelle you’d be back with drinks, you wound through the room towards where Irene had pointed. The kitchen was tiny, on par with most city apartments. There was only room enough for one or two people, so you were lucky it was deserted when you entered.

Surveying the counter, you found the usual party staples. A bowl of red punch, a bunch of beer and various liquor bottles with chasers. Skipping over the communal punch bowl, you reached for a bottle of diet coke and coconut rum.

“Oh,” a voice said as they entered the kitchen. “Sorry – I didn’t know you were in here.”

Glancing up, you saw Jimin and froze.

He’d dyed his hair black – that was the first thing you noticed. Jimin’s hair was no longer blonde, but completely dark. His outfit confused you at first – a frilly, white blouse with slicked-back hair and dark trousers – until you saw his bright red contacts and the dribble of blood at his mouth.

“A vampire,” you said, finally recovering your voice. Scanning his body, you frowned. “Where are the teeth, though?”

Jimin blinked, his gaze jerking up from your waist.

“Huh?” he said, sounding a bit strangled.

Cheeks heating a little – your dress was pretty short – you repeated yourself. “The teeth,” you said, pointing at your own lips. “Don’t vampires have fangs?”

“Oh, right.” Jimin dug around in his pocket – fuck, were his trousers tight – to produce twin fangs. “I took them off when I got here. They’re really hard to talk in.”

“Go on then, Park,” you said with a grin. “Put them in.”

“One second.” Twisting to face the wall, Jimin popped them in his mouth. Turning around, he bared his teeth. “Sexy?”

With the teeth in though, the word came out more like shex-shie and you burst into laughter. “So sexy,” you agreed, reaching past him for a cup.

Jimin stiffened when your arm brushed his front. Unbidden, you thought about what Noelle had said – Jimin had been flirting with you. Pulling away, you resumed making your drinks and tried not to look in his direction.

Even so, you remained aware of his presence. Jimin inched his way behind you, reaching for the whiskey on the other side. His arm brushed your elbow as he went, right knee nudging yours in an intimate gesture.

Glancing up from the counter, you accidentally caught his gaze. Despite your earlier joking, he did look sexy. Devastatingly so. Even the blood-red contacts weren’t enough to deter the shiver which ran down your spine.

Shaking yourself free from your trance, you grabbed both cups and pulled back. 

“So, what’re you drinking?” you asked. 

You decided it was best to steer the conversation away from how sexy Park Jimin was or was not.

Seemingly oblivious to your inner turmoil, Jimin poured whiskey into his cup. “Whiskey and coke. Can you pass me that bottle?”

“Sure,” you said, leaping at the chance to prevent him from walking past you again. “Here you go.”

Pushing this forward, you watched Jimin pour both drinks all the way to the brim. He paused near the end, staring into the depths before he looked up. He seemed to be warring with something, debating whether or not to speak whatever was on his mind.

“So…” He paused. “Do you know Jungkook, or something?”

You blinked. “Jungkook…?”

“You know, Miss Luna’s assistant. Jeon Jungkook.”

“Oh! Jungkook. No, I don’t really know him.”

“You were talking to him at the end of class, though?”

Hearing the curiosity in his voice, both your brows raised. “And?”

“And nothing,” Jimin said, sounding uncomfortable. “I just… I didn’t know you knew him, that’s all.”

“I mean, I don’t.” You paused. “But even if I did, what does it matter?”

“It doesn’t.” His cheeks began to redden. “It’s just – ah, never mind. We don’t have that great a history, that’s all. He’s kind of the reason I’m at Russet this year.”

You stared at Jimin a moment. “Wow, what a tragedy,” you said, stifling a laugh. “To have been forced to attend one of the most prestigious dance institutions in the world.”

His upper lip twitched. “It’s not that. I was deciding between attending Russet and accepting a job offer out west. I was asked to join this pop star on tour… anyways, Jungkook’s never liked me much. It’s a long story.” Jimin’s brow furrowed. “My offer was rescinded at the last minute. The artist never said why, but I always got the feeling he had something to do with it.”

You stared at Jimin a moment, unsure how to respond. Jungkook hadn’t seemed like that kind of person, but you supposed you’d only talked to him for a few minutes. If that was true, what happened to Jimin sucked and yet, the next words from your mouth nearly had you face-palming.

“And here I thought I was your biggest rival, Park,” you said.

Jimin’s eyes widened. “Are you… jealous, Y/N?”

He sounded almost pleased by the notion, which sent a different kind of shiver down your spine.

“Not at all,” you said quickly, turning back to your drinks.

Jimin made a soft tsk-ing sound, as though he didn’t believe you.

“That sucks,” you continued, determined to change the subject. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“Yeah. Maybe it was all for the best, though. Things happen for a reason, right?”

Looking up, you caught Jimin’s stare. He didn’t look immediately away and you got the oddest sensation he meant more than what he said. Hastily, you pushed this feeling aside, clutching your drinks as you entered the main room. Jimin followed close behind, two cups in his hands.

“When did you get here?” you asked. “Been here long?”

Jimin shook his head. “Nah. Hoseok and I got here like, ten minutes ago. He should be around here somewhere, he –”

“Y/N!”

You looked up just in time to see Hoseok, Jimin’s roommate, barreling towards you.

“It’s been so long!” Crushing you to his chest, Hoseok wrapped you in a hug. “Hope Jimin isn’t boring you to death,” he stage-whispered before he pulled away.

“Just for that.” Jimin arched a brow. “Both these drinks are for me.”

“No – wait, wait. I’m sorry!” Hoseok pouted. “Hand over the drink, Park. It’s been the longest fucking week.”

Jimin grinned and relented, handing Hoseok his cup as you laughed. Hoseok was a newer friend, but he was close to Jimin, so he’d gradually bled into your latest gatherings. Despite not being on the ballet track, most of the dancers at Russet knew of him. Hoseok had that way about him.

Glancing down at your outfit, Hoseok held up a finger. “Let me guess – Blossom,” he said, turning to scan the room. “Which means… aha! Irene is Bubbles and Noelle is Buttercup. Makes sense.”

“And you are…” Pausing, you squinted at his outfit. “Someone at the spa?”

“Sure.” Hoseok shrugged. “Honestly, I just wanted to wear a bathrobe.”

Said bathrobe was paired with only boxers, the front of the robe open to display his toned abs. The costume didn’t surprise you, based on past interactions with Hoseok.

Casually, he twirled the robe tie in a circle. “Impressive, no?” Hoseok glanced away. “Whoa, wait – they have beer pong? See you all later!”

Hurrying off, he left you alone with Jimin. Shaking your head, you glanced in his direction and saw Jimin down his whole drink. Arching a brow, you were about to ask why when Irene called your names from across the room.

“Y/N!” She waved her hands. “Jimin! Get over here, you two – we need more for flip cup!”

You found yourself pulled in this direction despite your insistence you didn’t do well under pressure. Jimin ended up at the other end of the table and you lost sight of him when you started to play, paired with Jasmine for a partner.

By the end of the first round, you discovered you weren’t as horrible a player as you’d imagined. Then someone suggested mixed drinks for the second round, and things became fuzzier. There were more people present than just current students of Russet. One of Paulo’s roommates knew Seokjin, so you saw him in the room, along with Sana.

You chatted with both over the course of the evening, in addition to a guy who’d recently debuted on Broadway, Kim Taehyung. Apparently, there was already buzz around him for a Tony. Taehyung was nice, but it was sometime during this conversation you realized how tipsy you were. Apparently, not drinking for several months and then going ham made for very low tolerance.

Collapsing onto the couch, you joined Irene and Brian’s conversation. In the corner of your eye, you caught sight of Noelle – a terrible flip cup player, she’d roped Hoseok into giving her private lessons, but these seemed to be going terribly. Or perhaps very well, given how much the two of them were laughing.

You completely forgot about Jimin until you spotted him across the room talking to Sabrina. Seeing them together, you straightened. Both seemed fairly comfortable, which struck you as odd. Since that morning in Jimin’s dorm, you hadn’t really seen them hang out together.

Despite this, Jimin was laughing at something Sabrina had said. Tearing your gaze away, you forced yourself to focus on the conversation at hand. It didn’t matter who Jimin spoke to, or even who he decided to go home with tonight. He was your dance partner and friend, nothing more and besides – you had a boyfriend.

Blinking, you reached into your clutch and pulled out your phone. To your disappointment, you’d gotten no texts from Finn since this morning. You assumed he was still at his party but didn’t know for sure. Shooting him a text, hey, you waited for a response and when you got none, returned your phone to your purse.

Across the room, you heard Noelle yell your name. “Y/N!” She cupped her mouth with both hands. “We need another person for flip cup!”

Laughing, you pushed yourself from the couch and were immediately roped into your fourth game of the night. The night blurred again after that, turning into a pleasant hum of conversation and booze. At some point, Ubers were called to bring you to the club. As you rushed downstairs, you realized you forgot your coat as soon as you stepped outside.

Shivering violently, you rubbed your arms and cursed yourself for poor foresight.

“Y/N?” Jimin came to a stop alongside you. “Hey, where’s your coat?”

“Inside,” you said through chattering teeth. “I-it’s fine, though. I’m fine!”

Jimin gave you a look. “Where’s Paulo?” he said, glancing around. “I’ll grab him, we can get your coat before we go –”

“The Uber’s already here, though,” you argued, grabbing his sleeve to drag him towards the curb. “I’ll be fine from here to the club!”

Jimin sighed but gave in, following when you rushed to the grey SUV. Irene had claimed the front seat, so you and Jimin pulled open the middle door – Noelle and Hoseok were crowding behind you, so you and Jimin ended up together in the backseat.

Collapsed in a heap, you giggled as Jimin tried to squish himself in a corner. “Sorry,” he said, trying – and failing – to keep his knees separate.

“Jimin.” You snorted. “Are we going to go through this again? Your hands have been in way more inappropriate places than that this semester.”

Jimin’s lips parted, shocked, but you were already hoisting yourself over the middle seat. Draping your arms next to Noelle, you begged her to play your favorite song on the radio. Had you been more sober, you might’ve recognized your position to be precarious – perched on the edge of your seat, your ass hovered inches away from Jimin’s face.

Plopping back down, you glanced sideways at Jimin and found him frozen. Suddenly, you realized the visual he’d had.

“Um, so what happened to the teeth?” you blurted, determined to change the subject.

Jimin blinked and managed to meet your gaze. “Casualty of flip cup,” he said. “One of them fell out during the game and I couldn’t find where it rolled.”

“Well, that’s okay. You can just be one of those vampires who blend in with normal humans. You know, the kind whose fangs only come out when they want to bite someone.”

“That’s true.” Jimin arched a brow. “Lucky for you, I’m not hungry.”

“Lucky for me? Lucky for you,” you retorted. “My blood is about half alcohol right now. If you drank my blood, you’d be a very silly vampire.”

The idea of a silly vampire made you laugh – even more so when you pictured said vampire as Jimin. He seemed much too coherent for your liking right now.

“A silly vampire, huh?” Jimin looked on, amused. “Damn, Y/N – when was the last time you went out? Your tolerance is shit.”

“I know,” you sighed. “I haven’t drunk much this semester. Too much dance, too little time. I think the last time I went out was –”

“We’re here!” squealed Noelle, throwing open the door.

A blast of cold air hit you and you shivered, wishing you’d worn your coat. Jimin’s gaze remained steady on yours.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he said lowly. “I can give you, uh…”

“Your shirt?” you said dryly, lifting a brow as you brushed past. “Then you’d be shirtless, Park. Let’s think this through.”

Jimin chuckled before he followed suit, although you cursed as soon as you left the car. He was correct. It was freezing, even with your alcohol-induced blanket.

“Come on!” you yelped, following Noelle towards the entrance.

Bypassing the line, Noelle walked straight towards the bouncer and showed him her phone. He nodded and waved her past, counting your friend group who followed. Not everyone from Paulo’s place had gone to the club, but enough for you to make quite the entrance.

“Y/N!” Noelle doubled back to link arms with you. “Come on – this way! That guy’s going to show us to our table.”

“Table?” you asked her, wide-eyed.

Tables in a club on Halloween night were ridiculously expensive, but it seemed Noelle had downplayed her brother’s connections. Your group was led right to the front of the upper balcony, getting a coveted spot overlooking the dance floor below.

This was undeniably the coolest club you’d been in. Not that you’d been in many, mind you, but this one had to take the cake. A half-circle of tables took up the top floor, with twin staircases descending to the main room below. Most of the lower floor was for dancing, although you saw additional tables pushed to the sides. Fluorescent bars and dance platforms were dotted throughout and above all was the DJ booth, blasting the latest songs.

“Whoa,” you breathed.

Noelle grinned, squeezing your arm to pull you into the booth. As soon as you settled in, Jasmine leapt up and clapped her hands.

“I want to be in one of those!” she said, pointing to a glowing cage at the center of the dance floor.

“Oo, me too!” Irene leapt up to join her.

“Me, three!” said Paulo, clambering out of the booth.

“Awesome.” Irene beamed and glanced your way. “What about you, Y/N? You in?”

The idea was tempting for a moment, but then Finn flashed through your mind. You highly doubted he’d be on board with you gyrating for a room full of strangers without him. Somewhat dejectedly, you plopped back on the bench.

“That’s okay,” you sighed. “I think I’m going to stay here for a while. I’ll join you later!”

Irene frowned but nodded, following the rest when they left for the stairs. About half the group went, clearing out the table while you stared at the dance floor.

Jimin slid into the bench alongside you. “You don’t want to dance?”

Startled, you glanced in his direction. While you watched, Jimin began to undo his cuffs, casually rolling the sleeves of his shirt. His hair, which had been slicked back at the start of the night, was starting to fall. Several dark strands hung over his forehead, although this only seemed to make the look more appealing.

“No,” you said, crossing your legs. “I just… don’t really feel like it.”

“Is this the whole hating clubs thing again?”

“Kind of.” You laughed. “I don’t know. Club dancing isn’t like normal dancing, you know?”

“It is when you’re at the club with all dancers,” Jimin pointed out, nodding towards the floor.

Following his gaze, you saw Jasmine dancing full-out in a lit-up cage. She wasn’t so much gyrating as she was creating choreography on the fly. The mere mortals around her looked on in awe. Fighting a smile, you returned to Jimin.

“Okay, that does look like fun,” you admitted. “The last time I was at a club was with Finn.”

Jimin blinked. “Sorry – what?”

“In the cab,” you said, leaning closer in order to be heard. “You asked me when I last went out. It was that night… um, the night you came and picked me up.”

Jimin stared at you a moment, as though contemplating something important. Abruptly, he stood and held out a hand. You blinked at this like he’d offered a football.

“What are you doing?” you said, glancing up.

“Taking you down to the dance floor.” Jimin retracted said hand. “Come on, Y/N! You don’t have to give out dry lap dances, or whatever.”

“Hey!” In disbelief, your mouth fell open. “You said you’d forget all about that!”

His smile turned impish. “Seriously, we can just do the sprinkler, or something. It’ll be fun!”

“The sprinkler?” Starting to laugh, you stood. “Was that really the first move you thought of?”

“Nah. My go-to move is the criss-cross, but I figured this was more your speed.”

Snorting, you shoved him in the arm before following Jimin to the dance floor. It didn’t take you long to spot your other friends, clustered near the front and around the DJ booth.

“Y/N!” Noelle cheered, breaking off from the pack. “You made it!”

She nearly spilled her drink while she danced, catching herself just in time as she spun around. You grinned, entering the circle with Jimin by your side. He did, in fact, pull out the criss-cross – Hoseok joined in and soon, there was a Fortnite dance battle between them. You truly haven’t lived until you’ve seen a TikTok dance-off between two semi-professional dancers.

This ended with both declaring mutual defeat, and Hoseok disappearing to buy the next round. Noelle shimmied her way over to Jasmine, accepting the hand given to stand on the platform.

You laughed at their ridiculous dance moves, choosing instead to stay on the ground. The crowd around you had thinned since you’d joined. Eamon disappeared a few minutes later, saying something about needing a drink upstairs. Before long, Irene had joined Jasmine and Noelle on the platform, leaving you alone with Jimin on the floor.

Under other circumstances, you might have felt uncomfortable, but Jimin was so good at putting you at ease. Determined to keep you in the present, he came up with more and more complicated dance moves which had you snorting with laughter.

On a particularly flamboyant spin, Jimin accidentally smacked the drink from someone’s grasp. Blue vodka splattered everywhere, drenching its owner – a burly man in leather who snarled in frustration.

Looking up, he met your gaze and his eyes narrowed.

“Shit. Run!” you blurted out.

Grabbing Jimin by the arm, you dragged him into the crowd.

“No, wait – let me apologize!” Jimin tried to twist around. “I can pay for his drink! I can –”

Once there was suitable distance between you and the guy, you came to a stop. Laughing so hard you nearly fell over, you turned sideways to face him.

Bodies pressed against you from every side but rather than feel claustrophobic, all you could think about was Jimin before you. His hair had become thoroughly mussed during the night and you fought the sudden desire to smooth it down.

Although your breath came hard, the club around you seemed to slow. The music somehow had narrowed to pinpricks, a heady thump of bass while everything dulled.

What you should’ve done was taken a step back – but you didn’t.

Instead, your gaze drifted across his face. Jimin stared back, something intense to his gaze you couldn’t quite name. Breath caught in your throat, his eyes dropped to your lips.

Before you could react, someone bumped into you from behind, sending you careening forward. Jimin caught you easily, one arm around your waist and your chest pressed to his. You could feel every hard line of his body, his thigh wedged between your legs while you grasped at his arms. Heart thudding traitorously against your ribcage, you tried to ignore the emotions which followed.

It was impossible. 

The song playing was slower, sexier than the one which had inspired the dance-off. Without meaning to, your weight subtly shifted. This caused your hips to move against his as Jimin quietly sucked in a breath. The effect this had on him was instantaneous. His grip on you tightened, gaze heady with desire and something more. Before you could second-guess what you were doing, you moved your hips again – this time, on purpose.

Jimin’s eyes darkened. Without looking away, his grip on you tightened as he slowly dragged you up his thigh. Suddenly breathless, your hands gripped him tighter while your eyes fluttered shut. The heat of his body on yours, the faint smell of cologne and sweat, the tension in his limbs and the knowledge of what he could do to you – it all left your head spinning.

“Y/N,” Jimin murmured, low in your ear.

You weren’t used to him saying your name like that.

You were used to him saying your name in every other way, but not that. Sharp with dancer’s critique, brusque with instruction, light with teasing – but not like something heavy was lodged in his throat. Maybe his heart.

Panicked, your eyes flew open.

What were you doing? This wasn’t some random stranger and this sure as hell wasn’t your boyfriend. This was Jimin. Stumbling backwards, you broke from his hold. Jimin seemed equally stunned, staring at you on the dance floor.

“I have to go,” you blurted and whirled around.

Shoving into the crowd, you heard Jimin emit a soft groan. Despite this, he didn’t immediately pursue, for which you were grateful. Stumbling through strangers, strobe lights flashed brightly overhead. You squeezed between someone dressed as a go-go and another person dressed as a werewolf. Skidding to a stop on the edge of the floor, you scanned the room and saw no one from Russet.

When you glanced over your shoulder, you saw Jimin now followed. Panicking again, you began to move. Beside one of the bars, you spotted a hallway labeled restrooms. Heading in this direction, you quickly disappeared inside the door marked women.

Once inside, you locked yourself in a stall, lowered the lid and sat down. Head in hands, you slowly exhaled. You were a coward; that much was clear. Jimin was probably out there looking for you right now, but you’d rather hide in a bathroom than face him.

The fluorescent lighting overhead was too bright – it made you feel overexposed. After a long moment, you fished around in your purse and pulled out your phone. Flipping to your thread with Finn, you saw he’d sent no response since your text. Complete and utter silence.

Heart cracking a little, you slid this in your bag and stared at the door. This wasn’t how things were supposed to go. When you imagined you and Finn at college, you’d always pictured you together, attending the same parties and sharing the same adventures. Tonight though, had proven to be anything but that. Finn hadn’t once glanced at his phone judging by the unread mark next to your text.

Dimly, you wondered why you weren’t more upset about this. It should bother you that Finn hadn’t called or even texted throughout the day. Sure, he was out with friends, but so were you and you’d reached out – as soon as you thought this, your heart sank.

You weren’t sure you could call Jimin a friend after what had just happened.

Sure, you’d only danced, and it had only been for a second but still, guilt bloomed behind your ribcage. The idea of Finn doing the same thing with anyone else made your heart twist. You wouldn’t feel that way if what you’d done wasn’t wrong.

Groaning out loud, you lowered your head to your hands. After several minutes, you felt calm enough to stand and pretend-flush the toilet. As you exited the stall, you walked to the sink and began washing your hands. Staring at yourself in the mirror, a million things ran through your mind.

Clearly, the situation with Jimin was worse than you’d thought. The spark you’d felt kept returning, no matter how much you tried to ignore it. Maybe the only solution was to find a new partner. The very idea made your heart sink, but you couldn’t deny things had gotten out of hand.

Before you could seriously consider the option, the door to the bathroom flung open and banged against the wall. Sabrina stormed in, wiping both eyes with the heel of her hand. You froze, staring at her in the mirror but she didn’t seem to notice your presence.

When she finally lowered her hands and took a deep breath, she saw you and froze.

For a moment, you both only stared at each other and then – you coughed. Awkwardly, you began to dry your hands.

“Are you okay?” you asked, tentative.

Sabrina stiffened. “I’m fine,” she muttered, walking to the sink.

You watched her wash her hands, struggling and failing to control her expression. Sabrina’s hair was a mess and you stared, wondering where she’d been. You hadn’t seen her since you’d entered the club, but had assumed she’d stayed on the second floor.

“Are you sure?” you pressed, remembering your night at the other club. “You know, you can –”

“Will you… just stop.” Sabrina closed her eyes. “Will you … stop pretending like we’re friends, or something?”

Struck with disbelief, you could only stare. “I… are you serious?”

“Yes.”

“Wow.” You shook your head. “Just wow.”

Her lips tightened and finally, she whirled around. “What?” Sabrina demanded. “What is it?”

The look in her eyes was familiar. Her frustrated, angry look was mirrored in your expression, but you found you didn’t care. Sabrina was clearly going through something, but her rudeness to you was the final straw. Tired from Finn, Jimin and the constant pressure you were both under, something about Sabrina’s words made you break.

“Why are you always such a… such a bitch,” you blurted, hurling the word like a knife. “What did I ever do to you? Why do you always act like you hate me so much?”

Sabrina’s upper lip curled. “Why do you always think this is about you, Y/N? Maybe I just wanted one second of peace and instead, here you are. Like always.”

“Here I am, in the public restroom of a club we’re all at?”

“No. Here you are in my life,” she snapped, pushing herself from the sink. “People won’t talk to me? It’s because you’ve run your mouth about things you think I’ve done. I’m falling in the class ranks? It’s because you’re after my spot. Jimin doesn’t want to be my partner? It’s because of his feelings for you. I’m sick of turning around and always seeing you there!”

“Okay, but none of those things – I, Jimin doesn’t have feelings for me,” you sputtered.

Sabrina gave you a look. “Oh, please, Y/N.” Her laughter was harsh. “Why else would he turn me down?”

“Um, maybe because he’s a decent human being? Unlike yourself.”

“Great, yeah.” Sabrina glared. “Make me the bad guy again.”

“I’m not the one doing that,” you huffed. “You are. You want to blame me because no one wants to be your friend? Maybe try reaching out first. Maybe don’t talk shit about people behind their backs. And I’m improving because I’m taking extra lessons. No thanks to you, of course.”

“Don’t try and make me feel bad because I didn’t have time to give you lessons.”

“I’m not trying to make you feel bad. I’m trying to explain why I’m improving and you’re not.”

Sabrina bristled. “Are you saying I don’t work hard, too?”

“No.” Mirthless, you laughed. “I know you work hard – maybe even as hard as I do. But you know what the big difference is between you and me?” you said, drawing yourself to your full height.

Sabrina’s eyes glimmered while she stared you down. Still, she retained her aloofness when she said, “What? What’s the big secret?”

“You think everyone’s out to get you,” you said, stepping closer. “You think not asking for help makes you stronger, but it’s the exact opposite. At least I’ve improved since the start of the year. What have you done?”

Not waiting for an answer, you pushed past Sabrina and walked out the door.

Shoving it wide, you entered the hallway. Dance music flooded your senses and you winced, remembering where you were and what you’d been doing. Luckily, Jimin was nowhere in sight. He must not have seen where you’d disappeared to.

Shoulders slumping, you pulled out your phone and dialed a number. Walking to the front, you concentrated on breathing while you waited for them to pick up. Coming to a stop beside coat check, you didn’t leave the club – a lesson you’d learned the hard way.

Noelle answered on the third ring. “Babe?” she yelled, barely audible over the din. “What’s going on? Where are you?”

“Are you…” Closing your eyes, you paused. “Can we leave?”

Noelle paused, then muffled her phone with one hand. “Irene!” you heard her yell. “You good to get a ride home for these people? Okay, cool. Bye!” Her phone became un-muffled. “Where are you, babe?”

After explaining your location, you hung up and hugged yourself with both arms. Noelle burst into view a few moments later, scanning the crowd like a mom on a mission. When she saw you, she rushed over – and you promptly burst into tears.

“Oh, no!” Pulling you into a hug, Noelle began to rub your back. “No, no, babe! Don’t cry! What’s going on? Do I need to kick someone’s ass?”

Hearing Jimin’s words said by Noelle only made you cry harder. Wisely sensing this to be a problem not easily solved, Noelle continued rubbing your back while walking towards the exit.

The two of you went outside and, as luck would have it, saw a group of people arriving at the club. Noelle snagged their taxi, helping you in the backseat and giving the driver your address. As you settled against her, your head on her shoulder, Noelle kept rubbing your arm and waited for the tears to stop.

You weren’t really sure why you were crying.

Of course, Sabrina was terrible, as was the situation with Jimin, but it was more than that. Dancing with Jimin hadn’t caused problems in your relationship with Finn. There had been problems in your relationship Finn and so, feelings had crept in which led you to dance with Jimin.

More than that though, you couldn’t help but notice Noelle had come to your aid much faster than Finn ever had. Even Jimin had dropped everything when you asked, and he was someone you’d once called your enemy. Noelle had been having fun, but she’d cut her night short because you were upset. This knowledge crushed you and for the very first time, you realized your relationship with Finn might be unfixable.

Curled up on the backseat, you let yourself cry a bit more. You could be calm and rational in the morning, you decided but for now, you just felt defeated.

When you finally climbed into bed at your dorm at night, you looked at your phone and saw Finn still hadn’t texted.

Author’s Note: Thank you for reading! 😊 New chapters of Raise the Barre are posted weekly; dates are listed on the series Master List. Requests for updates will be deleted.

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