#the curveball

[roosterforme]

How Old Are You? | Bob Floyd x OC

Summary: Bob only gets one birthday every four years. When his wife, Molly, realizes it's almost Leap Day, she throws him a party any nine year old would love. And it's the perfect celebration for a thirty-six year old, too.

Warnings: Fluff, adult language, implied smut, 18+

Length: 2500 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC!Molly (this story accompanies The Curveball)

Check my masterlist for more! Thank you to @mak-32 for the beautiful banner!

Bob was half asleep in bed, post orgasm, when the weird conversation started. "So technically you're about to turn nine? Even though you'll be thirty-six? Is that right?"

He cracked his eyes open again as he watched his wife stretch her arms above her head, her nipple piercings glinting in the soft candlelight that had their bedroom aglow. She was nibbling on her lip, and he could practically see her mind working.

"Yeah," he answered cautiously. "Why do you have that expression on your face, Mo? Like you're plotting something scary?"

"I've never plotted something scary a day in my life!" she told him before leaning down and gently biting his bicep. "I was merely considering what I should get you for your special day."

"I don't need anything," he replied quickly, remembering the naked cowboy statue wearing glasses that she gifted to him last year.

"Well," she said, drawing out the single syllable. "That's where I think you're wrong, Bobby."

"Molly, I don't even want anything." Then he had an idea that he hoped would throw her off. "How about you get some pretty new barbells or rings and let me play with them?"

She rolled her eyes. "That would be a gift for me."

He shrugged as she draped herself across him. "Kind of for both of us when you really think about it."

Her soft lips found his jaw as she whispered, "But it's not every day you turn nine, Coach Cute Glasses. You deserve an extra special treat."

He shook his head in exasperation and said, "I'll really be thirty six though."

"Not according to the calendar." She kissed him sweetly before climbing over him to get out of the bed. "I'll go check on Charlie and Flora one last time before we go to sleep." Bob watched her slip his discarded undershirt on and smooth it down over her gorgeous body, perhaps a little more filled out now that they had two kids.

He reached for her hand and said, "Mo, we really need to sell the condo and get a bigger place. They can't share that tiny room forever."

Even though she told him all the time that she loved the condo and didn't want to leave it, she was finally starting to come around. "I think I'm ready to admit that you might be right about that, Uncle Bob."

"Really?" he asked, jolting up in bed.

She nodded and hummed. "Yes. Besides, your birthday party would be a lot easier to plan if we had more space to accommodate all the guests."

Bob groaned and flopped back down again, and Molly removed his glasses for him. "I don't need a birthday party," he insisted. "I just want a nice, quiet evening with you and the kids. Maybe your sister, Ev and Bradley, too, but that's it."

"We'll see," she replied before leaving the bedroom with a wicked smirk on her face.

----------------------------

"Can you get to my sister's house by noon on your birthday? For your party?" Molly asked as she watched Bob feed a mashed up banana to their one year old daughter. 

"I thought we ended that discussion with us both accepting the fact that I do not need a birthday party."

"Yeah... it's too late for that," she replied easily as she and Charlie both ate their own dinners. Molly's favorite hobby was keeping her husband on his toes. She figured his life would be sad and boring without her in it, and since he chose to be with her, he must have a deep-seated love for nonsense. She always made sure to bring it out for him, especially for his birthday. 

He gave her a stern look. "It's just a small party, right?"

"Sure, Bobby."

"I don't believe you."

"Oh come on," she whined. "This is your first real birthday since we met!"

She knew he would crack. He gave her what she wanted the vast majority of the time anyway, but when she whined for something harmless, it was always hers. 

"Fine."

And with that single word, Molly executed the most epic ninth birthday anyone could ever have. She called the vendors. She ordered the piñata. She invited the guests. She procured a balloon arch. And on Bob's birthday, her own sister and brother-in-law were looking at her with shocked expressions from their back deck when she started setting things up at eight in the morning. 

"I thought this was going to be a small party?" Bradley asked as he watched her assemble the red and yellow balloon arch. 

Molly just laughed. "That's just what I told Bob. I lied. The pony should be arriving soon."

"Pony?" gasped her sister. "I'm sorry, I must have misheard. Did you say a pony is arriving?"

"Yes," Molly said, speaking a little louder now to make her point. "How the hell are we supposed to have a cowboy birthday party without pony rides?"

Then Everett came tearing out onto the back deck, still in his pajamas, shouting, "Someone is bringing a horse around from the driveway!"

"See?" Molly asked as the pony and handler appeared in the backyard. "Ev is excited. He has good taste."

"He's ten!" Bradley snapped as he went running across the yard. "Is this thing going to tear up the grass that I spent months watering so it looked this nice?" But as soon as he saw how excited Everett was to pet the cute animal, Molly knew her brother-in-law would be on her side. It was just her sister glaring at her now.

"Whatever you mess up out here, you need to clean up. That includes the horse poop!"

"It's just a pony," Molly assured her, although the animal was a lot bigger than she expected. And yes, it was actually pooping. "It's fine. It'll be fine."

She was hoping it would be fine.

--------------------------

When Bob buckled Charlie and Flora back into their car seats in his truck at Myers park, he checked the time. It was almost noon. "Oh god," he groaned as he opened the driver's door. He had no idea what to expect, but the text from Bradley about how he was going to need help filling in the hoof prints in their yard next week had him on edge.

"Birthday party!" Charlie cheered from the backseat as Bob pulled out onto the main road. Molly had been talking about it so much, their son kept saying it over and over.

"That's right," Bob told him calmly. "But I'm pretty sure Mommy went bananas over the entire thing."

"Nana!" Flora crooned before she burst into tears. He should have known better than to mention her favorite food right in front of her like that. So he drove to his sister-in-law and brother-in-law's house with one delighted child and one who was crying hysterically. When he pulled down their block, there was absolutely nowhere to park, and there was a horse trailer parked right in front of the house. 

"Oh, no. No no no. Molly, no," he whispered. When he got closer, he saw the massive banner hanging on the porch that said Happy Birthday, Cowboy Bob. He had to squeeze his truck into the driveway behind the familiar blue Bronco while he gaped at the sight before him.

"Horse!" Charlie screeched. He wasn't wrong. There was some sort of pony walking around the backyard with Everett perched on top of the saddle wearing a cowboy hat. "I want the horse!"

"Okay," Bob told him as he shook his head and climbed out of the truck. He walked around to the back of the house with one child in each arm, and thankfully when Flora saw the pony, she stopped crying, perhaps out of fear. 

"Bob!" Molly shouted over the classic country music that was playing as she popped out of the enormous rodeo themed bounce house and ran to him. Literally everyone he'd ever seen in his life seemed to be here, and they were all wearing cowboy hats. Everyone from work was here. Like everyone. Cyclone was wearing a cowboy hat and drinking a beer. Bob thought he saw the doctor that Molly worked with who delivered both of their children. His parents and both of his sisters were here. His niece Piper was taking a turn riding the pony. There were indeed hoof prints in the yard.

Then Molly was somehow in his arms along with both kids, and she was kissing his neck as she said, "Happy birthday," in a voice that would have been a lot more appropriate for their bedroom. 

"Mo," he said, shaking his head. "There's a pony. It's making Bradley look constipated." 

She just rolled her eyes in response. "He'll get over it as soon as I offer to watch Everett for a few days over spring break so he and my sister can go away and do nasty stuff to each other."

Bob just smiled down at her and said, "You told me this would be a small affair."

"I guess I lied. Oops. Come say hi to Phoenix." She dragged him up onto the deck where Natasha took both kids from him with a kiss to his cheek, and then Molly was yanking his shirt over his head.

"What are you doing?" he asked, standing there in his undershirt with his glasses askew. But as soon as the words were out of his mouth, she was pulling another shirt over his head. It said Birthday Cowboy, and there was a number 9 that looked like it was shaped out of rope.

And that's when everyone started hugging him and running around to get him drinks and chat with him. Mickey was wearing cowboy boots and a cow print vest. Maverick was teaching the kids how to line dance. Bradley's scowl had started to ease up since Everett seemed to be having the time of his life. 

"Happy birthday, Uncle Bob," Everett said when he walked over. He hugged Bob and added, "Your birthday party is my favorite birthday party ever, and I can't believe it's in my yard!"

"Thanks, Ev," he replied with a laugh as he watched Molly and Flora dancing with Javy. "It is pretty cool."

"Happy birthday, Bob," his sister-in-law said, handing him a card. "You can open it later. We got you opening day tickets for the Padres. Also, I'm so sorry that my sister is so chaotic, but you should have known what you were getting into when you started dating her."

Bob accepted another kiss on his cheek. "She really can't be stopped once she gets going." 

"It's a waste of time to even try. Might as well sit back and enjoy the show."

He did, and the looser he got, the more fun he started to have. He pet the pony while Piper rode around on it. He smashed open a cowboy piñata with one of Everett's baseball bats. He jumped in the bounce house with Charlie and Everett, and Bradley even joined them.

"I'll help you fix your yard next week," Bob promised as Everett did a backflip. 

Bradley just laughed and said, "It's hard to be mad about it when Molly just wants everyone to have the time of their life. You're very lucky. Also, I don't know how you deal with her on a daily basis."

Bob laughed, too. "Sometimes I just take it one hour at a time."

"Get ready for cake!" Molly shouted, and it took five people to carry out the biggest sheet cake he'd ever seen in his life. It was cow print and decorated with boots and spurs, and said Happy 9th Birthday, Cowboy Bob!

After he blew out the nine candles he reached for Molly. "Thank you," he whispered, kissing her softly. "I didn't know I needed a ninth birthday party, but I guess I really did."

"You're only a kid once, Bobby," she replied, smiling against his lips.

"You do know I'm actually thirty-six, right?" he asked, pulling her snug against him as her sister started to cut up the cake. 

"Not according to the calendar," she responded, patting him gently on the cheek. "Your mom and I had a lovely conversation about how terrible you look for your age."

He tried not to smile, but it was useless. "I'm actually having the best day, Mo."

"I knew it all along."

---------------------------

Both kids were sound asleep as soon as Molly tucked them into bed. Charlie went on a sugar high and then crashed, and Flora was played with and held by seemingly everyone at the party. They would probably sleep for a solid twelve hours. Which was good, because Molly wanted to give her husband the rest of his birthday presents. 

She found him in their bedroom where he was opening up the cards he got with a soft smile on his face. "You have so many friends," she told him, and he turned to look at her. "Everyone loves Bob Floyd."

He actually blushed which made her want to rip all of his clothing to shreds and have her way with him. He shook his head slightly and said, "Everyone loves the amazing Molly Floyd and her beautiful imagination."

"Bobby," she moaned softly, taking the card from his hand and wrapping her arms around him. "Tell me more about how amazing I am."

He laughed and whispered, "You threw me the equivalent of a kids' ninth birthday party, just because you could. My dad participated in the pie eating contest. My mom learned how to line dance. Bradley almost popped a vein in his forehead. It was wonderful."

She sighed in contentment. "In four more years when you turn ten, we'll be in a bigger house, and we can host your party there. But we'll have to wait and see if you're still into cowboys or if your interests change, Kiddo. Now will you please open your present from me? And put on your cowboy hat? I've always wanted to suck a real cowboy's cock."

Bob grinned. "Molly, you suck my cock when I'm wearing my cowboy hat all the time."

"But you've never had assless chaps before."

Bob let out a strangled sound, and when he opened the box that was wrapped in cowboy paper, there were in fact assless chaps inside. "Please, please, please put them on," Molly moaned. "God, I feel like it's my birthday."

As soon as she started whining, he always gave her what she wanted. It was impossible not to. Five minutes later, Bob was standing in the middle of the bedroom wearing the chaps, his birthday shirt, and his old cowboy hat. Molly was panting and biting her knuckle, already obviously raring to go down on him, which just made him harder.

But she took a step toward him and then stopped, a devilish smirk on his face. "Now wait. I'm having a bit of a moral dilemma with you in that shirt. How old are you again?"

"I'm thirty-six," he replied blandly. 

"You sure about that, Cowboy Bob?"

"Molly! I'm thirty-six!"

"Okay, okay. Just checking," she said, reaching for the bottom of his shirt. "But let's just remove this anyway."

------------------------

I had a blast revisiting these two! I'm so deeply in love with Molly. I hope you enjoyed Bob's birthday celebration. Thanks for reading! And thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

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@sweetwhispersofchaos

[sweetwhispersofchaos]

I feel, um, feelings right now.

Is it healthy to wait on pins and needles all day for the next chapter of a fic? Like, your brain keeps drifting and you keep checking notifications hoping it’s that long awaited tag. What can I say, I’m invested. 🥴

@roosterforme you have wrecked me so bad with these stories! You’re a goddess and I appreciate you so much!

[daggerspare-standingby]

I’m getting home just in time for The Curveball to be posted @roosterforme can’t wait to read the beginnings of “uniform time” 😂

[junimods]

My new mods for Stardew Valley 1.6 have been published! Thank you all for your support over the years. <3

[forestofsprites]

study from your buddy green who is relearning colours nd getting a little stylized w it,

[houseswife]

house: this has absolutely nothing to do with wilson

also house: [brings up wilson unprompted] [spends 95% of the session either talking about wilson or deliberately avoiding talking about wilson] [literally admits it’s about wilson]

[herinnerwolf]

there's something so insane when a character like jack, who always had to look out for himself, watch his back constantly, never really felt safe and lived a life on the run, ultimately chooses to ignore all that and gives up his chance at freedom, at survival even, because his heart has now found a home and he needs to know that home still stands (and the heart inside it still beats).

"run!"; "go!", fagin told him. because jack is fagin's number one.

and he did run. he ran to belle, because she is HIS number one.

[aimseytv]

my dog mickey has sadly passed away

it was extremely sudden, he fell sick and it was then shown cancer had taken over his little body. i wish i could’ve said goodbye, but luckily he taught me that dogs aren’t all that bad

love you always little man, thank you ❤️

[whatprince]

[roosterforme]

The Curveball Part 1 | Bob Floyd x OC

Summary: When Bob started coaching a tee ball team with Bradley, he was surprised to find how much he enjoyed it. But the last thing he expected was to fall in love with Molly, the beautiful and exciting aunt of one of the players on the team. Bob is hooked after one look at her, but he's afraid that he could never be enough.

Warnings: Fluff, eventually 18+

Length: 4800 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female OC (this story accompanies Batting Practice!)

Check my masterlist for more! Thank you to @mak-32 and @teacupsandtopgun for the beautiful banners!

The first time Bob saw Molly, he almost tripped over his own feet. She was laughing, the beautiful sound carrying across the field as she walked with her nephew, Everett. When she looked up and met Bob's eyes, her smile grew. 

"Hi, Coach Bob!" Everett called out with a wave of his hand. He was a sweet kid, one of Bob's favorites from the Tiny Eagles tee ball team.

And then Bob's lips parted in awe as Molly raised her hand to wave as well. "Hey there, Coach Bob." And then she winked at him as her teasing voice filled his ears and made his heart thud. 

The closer she got, the more stunning she looked, and her eyes remained on his. He was staring. He realized that much. But he supposed it didn't matter if he made a fool of himself, because there was no way she'd be looking at him for much longer anyway. 

Molly looked a lot like her sister, and Bob started blushing profusely at that thought. Because Bradley definitely had a thing for Everett's mom. The "Team Mom". Bob liked Molly's sister plenty, but he never had a hard time looking away from her. He never once thought about how the shape of her body looked like it would fit nicely with his, snuggled up on the couch. 

"Bob. Hey, Bob. Robert. Coach Bob!"

"What?!" Bob asked, suddenly broken free from the spell Molly managed to put him under from twenty feet away. Bradley was waving a hand in his direction and snapping his fingers.

"You okay? You're not listening to me."

"I'm fine," Bob mumbled, stealing another quick glance her way as she knelt in front of Everett and helped him change his shoes. 

But Bob knew he was in trouble, because Bradley could tell exactly who he was looking at. And the smirk the other man gave him had Bob keeping his eyes to himself for the rest of tee ball practice.

-------------------------

The second time Bob saw Molly was much, much worse. She was wearing a little sundress. And this time he really did trip over his own feet. Bob watched as she bent to hug her nephew, and the way the fabric of the front of her dress met her body erased all normal thoughts from his mind. They were replaced with thoughts of Molly and her dress on Bob's bed. And on Bob's couch. And on Bob's bathroom floor. And in the bed of Bob's truck.

It was mortifying, feeling this attracted to a woman he'd seen twice and had never talked to. And likely never would talk to. But then she looked up at him as he adjusted his cap, and her smile was too much when it was aimed right at him like that. She probably had a boyfriend. She probably had ten boyfriends. Maybe a hundred. Ones that undoubtedly worshipped the ground she walked on. 

Oh no. She was walking closer. Bob panicked. He blew his whistle to start practice, even though it was five minutes too early. The parents were looking at him, confused. Bradley turned to him and asked, "It's time? Already?"

"Yep," Bob said, walking briskly away from Molly and picking up one of the balls. "Let's get started."

But then it got even worse. After practice, Bradley offered to give Everett a piggyback ride up to Molly's car. And this time, when she looked at him, Bob just started walking toward her. Like he was in some sort of trance. And the closer he got to her, the more she smiled. Like she already knew he was thinking about her collection of boyfriends and wanting to become one of them. 

"Hey, Coach Bob," she said, and he shivered. 

"Hi," he managed a little awkwardly. "Are you Everett's aunt?"

"Molly," she replied without hesitation, holding out her hand. He took it in his bigger one, and then she was in his personal space. He had to let go before he started sweating. 

"Nice to meet you," he mumbled. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Bradley pick Everett up, giving him and Molly plenty of space. But Bob was feeling like his only lifeline had been yanked away. 

"So, how long have you been coaching tee ball?" Molly asked, and Bob fell into step next to her as she walked toward her car.

"Oh, this is my first season." That was an easy question. He wasn't so sure he'd be able to answer anything past a first grade comprehension level right now, and that was sad, because he had a master's degree in aeronautics. 

"What got you into it?" she asked, looking at him with a smile. "You have kids of your own?"

"No," he said, shaking his head. Bob liked kids. He loved them. But he'd never been serious enough with anyone to even bring up the possibility of having his own. "My niece, Piper, is on the team, and she's autistic. She's more comfortable when she's around people who are familiar to her, so I'm kind of doing this for my sister."

Now she was looking at him like he had just saved a cat from a tree and helped an old lady cross the street at the same time. "That's so sweet," she gushed, and Bob stood a little taller. Sweet was in his wheelhouse. If Molly liked sweet, then maybe Bob stood a chance. "Everett talks about Piper all the time. I think my sister wants them to have a playdate."

Bob briefly wondered if he could sneak in and take Piper in place of his sister, just in the hope that maybe Molly would be there too. 

"What do you do when you're not being Coach Bob?" she asked before he had to think of something intelligent to say. Bob could hear Bradley and Everett laughing somewhere behind him as he slowly walked with Molly. 

"I'm a naval aviator," he said, always unsure about how to talk about work. "A weapons systems officer. I guess when I'm not Coach Bob, I'm Lieutenant Floyd." 

Molly bit her lip and looked up at him, and now he could only think about her mouth. "So you have three names. Coach Bob, Uncle Bob, and Lieutenant Floyd. Which one do you prefer?"

His mouth felt dry as he tried to swallow. The way she was looking at him like he was interesting and attractive made him blurt out what he was thinking. "I would answer to any of them if you were the one saying it." He would also like to answer to Molly's boyfriend, at least in his fantasies. 

"Okay, Uncle Bob," she said with a bright laugh, and he laughed too. "This is my car." She unlocked a blue Honda, and Bob opened the driver's door for her. 

When he noticed that Bradley and Everett were still messing around in the grass, Bob asked, "Do you like baseball?"

"I like men in baseball pants," Molly said matter-of-factly. And now Bob was definitely sweating, standing there in his white baseball pants while she looked up at him with the most innocent gaze. 

He could tell he was blushing as he adjusted his glasses and looked at the ground. But Molly saved him from having to respond when she asked, "I take it you like baseball? Or do you only dig tee ball?"

"Oh, I love baseball. I play centerfield in a recreational league at work," he said, meeting her eyes again.

Molly's lips parted in slow motion, and Bob started to feel a little dizzy as she asked, "Does that mean you wear the pants all the time?"

He swallowed hard, unable to formulate a sensible sentence. "Uh..." He managed to pull it together as her eyes dipped down his body like she was impressed by what she saw. "All summer."

"God bless June, July and August," she muttered, and Bob just knew he was dreaming now. This wasn't real. "What are the main differences between tee ball and baseball?" she asked standing a little closer to him as Bradley finally made it up to the car with Everett. 

"Well, the field is bigger," Bob said, fighting the urge to run his finger along her full lower lip. "And, my bat is bigger, too," he added, and a wide smile broke out on her face. 

Bradley snorted, and then Bob realized what he had said. He started to panic. Molly's eyes dipped down to the front of Bob's snug, white pants, and he thought he was probably going to die.

But she grinned at him and said, "I'll bet it is, Bob."

Bradley finished buckling Everett in, closed the car door and casually said, "Bob's bat is actually the biggest size allowed, according to league regulations. Have a great night, Molly. See you later, Bob."

And then he was strolling toward his Bronco, leaving Bob with Molly. Bob was ready to have a panic attack, but she was just laughing like she was really enjoying this. 

"I need to go into witness protection now," he said softly, shaking his head in mortification.

Molly laughed harder, and then Bob's whole body lit up as she placed her hand on his abs and patted him. "Oh, Lieutenant Floyd, you are adorable," she said, smiling up at him and letting her hand drop to her side. "I need to get Ev home, but thanks for walking us to the car. And thanks for the laugh and the baseball pants."

Her eyes glittered with amusement as she climbed into her car, and Bob mumbled some sort of goodbye as he gently closed the door for her. She and Everett both waved as they drove away, and Bob stared after the blue car until it was out of sight. 

"Bob!" Bradley called from his open window. Bob sighed, really not wanting to go over there, but if he didn't, Bradley would just become unrelenting. 

"What's up?" Bob asked, leaning against the side of the Bronco and trying to act natural. But he could tell he was blushing while Bradley smirked. "I noticed Molly when she came to practice last time, too. Are you going to make fun of me for having a crush on her?"

Bradley started laughing. "Not at all. She's really nice. And Everett said his Aunt Molly is single."

"Is she really?" Bob asked softly as a grin spread across his face. This information was absolutely shocking. He'd never have believed it. But he could trust Bradley and Everett on this one. 

"Yep. The kid is a wealth of information."

"Wow," Bob mumbled, turning and heading toward his truck. Then it really dawned on him. Molly had flirted with him.

----------------------------

Bob's thoughts were consumed by Molly. Her sundress. Her laugh. Her blue car. Her hand on his body.

Once again, his crush on her was pretty ridiculous. One conversation. They'd had one conversation, and Bob was head over heels for her. Every game day and every evening at practice, he crossed his fingers that she would show up again. But it had been a bit since he had seen her, and he was feeling a little disheartened. 

But Bob could see how Bradley lit up every time he was around Molly's sister, so he had a hard time begrudging his friend and co-coach that level of happiness. 

After the game on Saturday, the team was still undefeated, and Bob was doing a little recap with Bradley. 

"Great job, head coach," Bradley told him, shaking his arm and making him smile. "Undefeated after three games."

Bob nodded, really proud of the two of them. "I think you're a better coach than you're giving yourself credit for. The kids love you."

Bradley smiled at Everett and his mom. "I'm having fun."

Bob followed his gaze and mumbled, "Do you know if Molly's coming to another practice or anything?"

"You want me to ask Team Mom if she'll invite her sister again?"

Bob sucked in an excited breath. "Would you? I mean... I'll probably just chicken out again, but I want to ask her for her phone number next time I see her."

Bradley clapped him on the shoulder. "Well, you should. According to her sister, Molly thinks you're hot."

"You're kidding me," Bob whispered. "You must be."

Bradley just shook his head. "Not kidding. Molly's a bit of a spitfire. You think you can handle that?"

Bob walked away without answering. Because he really, honestly wasn't sure. 

-----------------------

"Any chance you'd want to get pizza after practice on Thursday night?" Bradley asked Bob in the locker room on Tuesday afternoon.

Bob shrugged. "Sure." He tried to watch what he ate, but a few slices of pizza would be okay.

"Great. Ev and Team Mom are going, too. So is Molly."

Bob dropped his deodorant onto the floor. "Molly's going?"

Bradley grunted as he got dressed. "Yeah. Don't tell me you're not into her anymore. I had to work some behind the scenes magic for this."

Bob almost laughed in his face. Not into her anymore? It would be impossible to lose interest in Molly. Bob had tried to stop thinking about her, because there was just no way he'd be able to keep her interest. Even if she liked the way he looked and somehow found him funny, she'd be done with him after about a week. Two at most.

"I...am still interested," Bob said, drawing in a shaky breath and picking up his deodorant. 

"Great," Bradley said with a smile. "She can't wait to see you."

Those words echoed in Bob's head until Thursday. And by that point, he was so nervous, he wasn't sure he'd even be able to eat any pizza without getting sick. But then Molly was there. She came for tee ball practice, and she looked beautiful. Way out of his league. 

Panic was setting in again as practice ended. Molly kept looking his way, and Bob could practically feel her gaze on him. 

"Just relax," Bradley told him. "If she didn't want to see you, she wouldn't be here right now."

Bob took a steadying breath and acknowledged that Bradley was probably correct. His cheeks felt warm as he walked toward her, and he had to clear his throat twice, but he managed to get the words out. "Hi, Molly." Because once again, up close, she had him forgetting his own middle name.

"Hey, Coach Bob," Molly replied with a grin. "Wanna ride with me? I'll bring you back later to get your car." She was looking up at him expectantly. She asked him to ride to the restaurant with her. 

He just nodded, and when she turned toward the parking lot, he followed her. "Nice pants," she said over her shoulder with a smirk. Bob had worn them on purpose. And now he was smiling.

"Thanks," he said, and when he opened the driver's side door for Molly, she looked up at him, stunned.

"Wow," she whispered. "You're really a gentleman." 

And then she kissed his cheek before she sank down into the driver's seat. Bob closed the door and then floated around to the other side of the car. Soft lips. Soft, perfect lips. On his skin. On his cheek.

When he slipped in next to her, his long legs a little awkward in her small car, she was looking at his lips. Bob was either completely delusional, or Molly was attracted to him, too. She leaned in a little closer to him before pulling back and starting her car. 

Loud music blared, making Bob jump as she reached for the volume knob. "Sorry," she muttered with an apologetic look. "I don't usually have any passengers." 

Bob glanced at her backseat and saw a booster seat for Everett and several first aid kits. Then she wrapped her arm around the back of his seat while she backed out of the parking spot, leaning closer to him. Molly pulled out of the parking lot, and she was a truly terrible driver. If Bob hadn't been broken of motion sickness during flight training a decade ago, he'd probably be hanging out the window, begging for mercy. 

When he glanced her way, she looked a little nervous. He wondered why as he tried to think of something to talk about. 

"Why do you have so many first aid kits?"

Molly smiled as she said, "I'm an emergency room nurse. I'm very good at fixing up little injuries here and there. Comes in handy to have supplies with me."

Then it struck Bob that he knew next to nothing about Molly other than the fact that he was insanely attracted to her and that she loved her sister and nephew.

"Where do you work?" he asked.

"Regional," she replied. "I used to work at Midway, but um... I moved to Castle Park when my sister got divorced. Her ex fucking sucks, and I knew she was going to need a hand with Everett." 

So she was smart, selfless, giving and caring. Bob was in trouble. 

"Not that she would ever explicitly ask for help. Do you have any older siblings?"

"Two," he replied, mesmerized by the way she could talk so calmly while she drove so horribly. 

"Then you get it. They're obnoxious. Headstrong. Control freaks. But I mean, she's also my favorite person in the world. Besides Everett. God, I love that kid. Oh no, I missed the turn," she muttered, looking to her left as she switched lanes again and cut someone off. "Oops. Anyway, yeah, so I live in Castle Park now, but I used to live near the beach. Closer to you Naval officer type guys. Oof, some of them are not as sweet as you, Uncle Bob. Met a few unmentionables near Coronado. Oh okay, there's the pizza place," she said, rambling on as she pulled into the restaurant parking lot and found somewhere to park. "So yeah. That's me in a nutshell," she told him as she put the car in park and turned the key. Molly turned to face him, and her smile was too much to handle up close. "I'm a twenty nine year old orphaned Sagittarius who can provide medical care on the go. I'm terrible at cooking, I like staying up way too late, I always google the endings of movies before I watch them, and up until recently, I've had terrible taste in men. Anything else you want to know, Coach Cute Glasses?"

Bob shook his head slightly. "You're amazing." He knew he was blushing, but he didn't really care anymore. Molly called him Coach Cute Glasses. No man in the world could listen to her talk, sit this close to her, have her call his glasses cute...and not blush. It was impossible. 

Molly giggled. "It looks crowded. Let's go get a table."

Bob was instantly out of the car, and he made it to her side in time to close her door for her. She looked up at him with an expression Bob thought probably mirrored his own. "You need to stop being so sweet, Bob."

"I don't think I know how," he replied, and he could feel Molly lacing her fingers with his. 

"Well, fuck around and find out. This is your last warning, Lieutenant Floyd," she told him, gently tugging on his arm and leading him toward the front doors. "Sweet guys get phone numbers and get kissed on the lips."

Bob's head was swimming. A kiss on the lips. He wanted to be sweet. He wanted to earn that kind of reward. He reached out and pulled the restaurant door open and held it for Molly. 

"After you," he muttered, and he watched her shake her head.

"You're unbelievable," she whispered, wrapping one sure hand gently around the back of Bob's neck and guiding his lips closer to hers while she stood on her toes. "Unbelievably adorable."

Then her lips met Bob's as her body pressed against his. The kiss was too good. Perfect. He didn't touch her, but she touched him, letting her fingers slide into his hair while her other hand rested on his chest.

When Molly pulled her lips away, Bob chased them, practically begging for more. And with a smile and another soft brush of her lips against his, Bob was completely done for.

----------------------------

Bob was completely out of his depth. Molly had kissed him. Right outside of this hole in the wall pizza place which was packed with people. Now she was holding his hand again while she sweet talked the high school aged kid who was seating everyone into giving up the last table.

The kid was blushing the same color Bob probably was. "You have a party of five? That's a table for four," he muttered.

"We don't mind squeezing in," she said with a smile that would probably send that kid into heart palpitations. 

But next thing Bob knew, he was pulling out a chair for her and sliding into the seat next to her. "That was pretty smooth," he said with a laugh as the kid left the menus and walked away still blushing. 

"You liked that?" Molly asked, cocking her head to the side and looking at Bob. "I know a lot of moves, Coach Bob. All of them are smooth."

Bob's cock twitched at her words, and he had to grab a menu and pretend like he still knew how to read. 

Flirting. Flirting. He was sure he'd never mastered this skill. He didn't even know how to fake it. But Molly wasn't looking at him with annoyance when it took him probably a full minute to respond. She was just smiling softly and glancing between him and the menu in front of her.

"You know," he said softly, "you're so pretty, you don't even need to be smooth. It's very overwhelming the way you put them together."

"Bob," she gasped softly, and he finally met her eyes. "Please, Bob. I can't with how fucking sweet you are."

Molly leaned in, so close to him, and Bob thought maybe he was going to be awarded another kiss. But her soft laughter filled his ears instead. "And the baseball pants? A girl can only handle so much."

She reached out and gently adjusted his glasses before letting her hand come to rest on his shoulder. And then Bob was thankfully saved from having to think of a response, because her sister showed up with Bradley and Everett. 

"Over here!" Molly called, and she popped up out of her chair. When she sat down again, she let her hand trail down Bob's arm as she called for Everett to come sit on her lap. "Ev can take turns sitting on our laps, and I get him first!"

Bob could barely manage to make conversation with Molly sitting next to him, laughing with her nephew. He liked this too much, and he was still having a hard time thinking of something to say. Her leg was bumping his as Everett asked, "Hey, Coach Bob, do you like the Phillies, too?"

Molly turned to hear his answer, just as interested as Everett was. "I'm a Colorado Rockies fan," Bob replied, smiling at Everett. 

"No offense, but I'm happy my mom likes Coach Bradley, because the Phillies are cooler than the Rockies."

Molly was silently holding in her laughter as Everett climbed off of her lap in favor of Bradley's. "Yeah, I'm happy about that, too," she whispered to Bob, eyes playful. "Wouldn't want to have to fight my own sister."

Bob sat in shock for a moment as the pizza was dropped off at the table. He let everyone else grab for slices, waiting to go last, but Molly dropped a piece onto his plate before grabbing one for herself. 

"Thank you," Bob told her, once again distracted as she bit into her own slice. Her tongue darted out to lick her lips, and Bob decided it was more satisfying to watch Molly eat a slice of pizza than to eat one himself. She kept stealing glances at him while she ate, and Bob hastily bit into his dinner. At least he didn't have to talk right now. 

But as the meal ended and the check was dropped off, Bob quickly pulled his wallet out of his pocket. He didn't mind paying for everyone as he rarely went out, but Bradley tossed his credit card across the table. "Split it," he told Bob while he returned to coloring with Everett. 

"I can get it," Molly said, frantically digging around in her purse that looked like it was full of receipts, mints and pens. 

"No," Bob said. "It's my pleasure." But Molly abandoned her purse and reached for his wallet instead.

"No, no, I can't let you pay," she groaned, leaning on his body while he kept his wallet out of her reach. "Bob!" she said, sounding scandalized. But Bob could feel her breasts pressing against his arm as she practically crawled onto his lap. She was bringing all of his feelings to the surface. She was just too exciting to be around. 

He laughed as he said, "Why don't you want me to pay? I'm happy to do it."

She eased back into her own seat and crossed her arms. "I'm not used to guys being courteous. It's doing things to me, Uncle Bob." 

It was only fair since she was doing things to him. She pouted playfully and glared at him out of the corner of his eye. Then the waitress took Bob's credit card as well as Bradley's and went to split the bill in half. 

Bob pressed his lips together and turned to Molly, saying, "You know, you could at least say thank you." Then he draped his arm across the back of Molly's chair, just waiting to see what she would say.

Molly turned to face him again, her gaze lingering on his mouth. Bradley and Everett were suddenly heading for the door, and her sister was hustling along behind them.

Bob was basically alone with Molly now, and his cock twitched as she bit her lip and said, "Thanks, Lieutenant Floyd."

When she immediately stood, Bob had the fleeting thought that he should probably remain seated for another minute, because Molly was really winding him up. But when she glanced back at him as she walked away, Bob was on his feet and holding the door for her and walking along next to her back to her car. 

He wanted Molly to touch him again, but he really wasn't sure he knew how to touch her the way she would like. He was dying for another kiss, but if she expected him to do much more than that, he was going to be lost. 

Molly leaned back against her car and looked up at him in the darkness of the parking lot. Bob was a few inches away, close enough to feel her warmth as the night cooled off. 

Her voice was soft, somewhere between teasing and seductive. "Are you thinking about kissing me, Bob?"

He shivered, thinking about doing everything to her. "D-Do you want me to?"

"You didn't answer my question."

Bob figured he didn't have anything to lose by being honest right now. "Yes. I'm thinking about kissing you, Molly. How would you expect me to think about anything else?"

She moaned softly which had Bob stumbling toward her as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly on the lips. Her whole body was right there, and she wasn't being shy about touching him. So he let his hands rest gently on her waist, at just the right spot that was neither too high nor too low. 

Her lips were soft on his, but when she tasted him with her tongue before nibbling his lower lip between hers, he squeezed her waist.

"Mmm." The soft hum at the back of her throat had him thinking the filthiest things, and Bob was scared she'd be able to feel him where she was snug up against him. When she nudged his glasses with her nose, she giggled against his lips. "I like your glasses."

Molly's body fit perfectly with his, and when Bob realized he had her pressed between his body and her car, he released her lips and took a step backwards. The rise and fall of her chest as she said, "I'll drive you back to your car," had him hypnotized. But Bob managed to open her door and gently close it after she was inside. He was able to make his way around to the passenger side and get in without too much effort.

"Let me see your phone," Molly said softly. Bob fumbled with it but managed to hand it to her. She entered her phone number and saved it, and Bob looked at her name there on his phone screen while she drove away from the restaurant.

He was never going to recover.

----------------------------

Omg!!! I love Bob and Molly so much! I hope you're all caught up with Batting Practice to best enjoy this fic as a dessert to round out your meal. Thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls and everyone when bugged me to make Molly and Bob a thing!

PART 2

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[endreal]

I think smartphones-as-computing-platform have peaked (and maybe already jumped the shark?) for any practical purposes. There are only 3 things smartphones need from here on out: better battery life, more storage/user expandable storage, and better ergonomics

[lemonadeslice]

accidentally got invested in final space last week. my favorites are the wunderkind kitty cat and the space war-criminal his dad! 💙🧡

[the-nysh]

Rewatching Trigun's 98anime (subs this time, being used to the eng dub) since I was curious to note the characters' shifting pronoun usage.

For reference, Stampede Vash always uses the softer, more humble, modest, boyish 'boku' - as expected (like Trimax Vash), even after his glow up in ep12, he still regards himself the same way. While Knives (Nai) exclusively uses the harder, more assertive, masculine 'ore'...ever since he was a little baby, which immediately differentiates them apart, but is...extremely (lmao) edgy of him.

But in the 98anime? Oh my god, it's all flipped around and completely different! Which quite interestingly reveals a lot of contextual nuances to many characters, and quite frankly rewatching in Japanese trying to catch all these things only thoroughly kicked my ass throwing in so many difficult-to-understand, unexpected curveballs; I'm both shook and humbled by what I've heard!

Because 98 Knives refers to himself as 'boku' O____O;; even during his most 'villainous' lines yelling at Vash too. Him having that casual but 'polite' poised dissonance in his voice comes off extremely unnerving;;; when he speaks of horrible things thru such an 'innocent' self-perception like that. (Even Legato uses 'boku' like him! Same in Stampede.) Damn I'm disturbed. He and Vash notably both used 'boku' when they were kids, but Knives in particular never really stopped saying that from their childhoods, so that says a lot about him. (His "did you just shoot me [boku]!?" comes off very uncannily childlike. No wonder Vash freaked out in guilt.)

But 98 Vash? Whoa, he requires a whole damn essay flips around ALL the time, interchangeably using BOTH! :O Often switching pronouns between 'ore' & 'boku' within the same episode, or even as quickly as every other sentence, even towards the same person. Depending on the immediate context/topic of what he's saying and the emphasis on how he's saying it. Via all his posturing, which 'persona' he switches into, his familiarity/humbleness/honesty/trust--even hostility towards certain people, and his mood's silly vs seriousness levels. Often reflective of how determined/confrontational/casual he is vs being walled off (masking) to openly repentant, lost or distressed too - but not always! It's Extremely inconsistent fascinating but confusing!!! Because there's no....fixed 'rules' to his usage. For ex he'll often use 'ore' casually within his own internal monologues to his more bombastic public self-introductions, or even when he's at his most serious in private moments about grave matters, like settling his past during his scar scene with Meryl. Even Eriks!Vash still uses 'ore' when confessing his guilt to Wolfwood about the Fifth Moon! So there feels to be a general preference for using 'ore' when he (internally and externally, both in casual and serious contexts) needs to show his 'determination' - aka being the man (the ideal 'Vash'?) he wants to become.

But then he'll flip around using 'boku' for some of his most exasperatingly fake ✨playful✨ bits when he's kidding and messing around in mock courtesy (bonus: he even uses 'watashi' as a joke for his ridiculously long 'formal' name introduction to Wolfwood).....AND 'boku' will be used for his most sincere humble (polite) conversations back with family members he knows at Home, and when he connects back to his childhood with Rem in his dreams. The Diablo ep is a good example: he uses 'ore' throughout the ep until he reverts to 'boku' after speaking to Rem deciding not to kill, and that humbling shift, like to that of a lost younger boy, makes so much sense. The shift happens again when Eriks!Vash thinks about Rem feeling just as lost: "what should I [boku] do?" And after the tragic incident at Home when he's depressed and masking himself behind his glasses, while quietly reflecting to Wolfwood with a reproachful, "Everyone who touches me [boku] dies." ...Before immediately changing back to 'ore' in the next sentence firming his resolve to face Knives.

But in general it really depends and you have to listen hard (pay close attention) to hear how much contextual teasing, sincerity, irony, genuine respect, or...humbling self-reproach and self-depreciation he uses. Indicative towards how much (or how poorly) he internally regards himself and how he externally presents himself to others, because it changes. All the time. His personal pronouns aren't fixed! ...Basically, I'm just as confused as Meryl (and it really makes narrative sense why she's so confused by him), not knowing which 'persona' is the real him! x'D

...Oh but a really good moment, in ep24 when Meryl pleads at him to be honest with her for once about all the tragedies, he uses 'boku' explaining everything to her about Knives. That's....really good. :O Like umm...him using 'ore' before with her (in the scar scene) kind of erected a subtle barrier when he refused to elaborate further, but using 'boku' so sincerely for her request.....like it..extends her the same humble level of courtesy/trust he'd use towards the 'family' he loves back at Home (+Rem)....but it's so loaded, cause he's being honest but still...distant telling her why he's better off alone. :')) Man...(the aaangst) Oooooh, but then ep25 is very telling too, cause he's mentally lost for the whole ep, always using 'boku' so anguished and self-deprecatingly....until Meryl saves him and he gives her his softest genuine 'boku' yet, after he recovers back to himself donning the red coat again, thanking and assuring her he'll be alright. :'D (Hooray~) Before internally switching back to 'ore' on his final quest setting out alone for Knives. Ep26: he still keeps that distinct assertive 'ore' in front of Knives "I [ore] will survive!" and 'boku' for Rem: "I [boku] will continue to believe in you, but will look to my own [jibun] words for guidance." :')) (Bonus: 'jibun' is added when he philosophically thinks in terms of 'oneself'/'myself' from now on.)

Bonus nuance: while younger Vash may have dependently followed Knives' lead around--back when they both used 'boku' together, older (current) Vash--using 'ore' with him, feels like he's grown to assume the role as the more independent, responsible older brother now, when he finally understands how to put Rem's last words to 'take care of Knives' into practice. :'))

So tl;dr: Vash tends to have a casual leaning preference for using 'ore' in most situations both private and public, but especially for whenever he asserts his determination involving Knives with a confrontational edge. 'Boku' is used exclusively (politely, with genuine deference & care) towards extended family members he loves (like Rem, Brad, Doc, and eventually.....Meryl; using the softest 'boku' towards her I've ever heard. ;.;) And for whenever he humbles himself in distress, feeling lost in turmoil or self-reproach. But it's not set in stone! Since both pronouns can be used sincerely or ironically in jest, for whenever he's feeling silly or playing a bit (donning a mask), easily switching depending on presentation or context too. 98 Vash simply does what he wants! While Meryl screams in confused exasperation!

As for 98 Meryl, she often uses the book-standard, more formal/professional 'watashi' when introducing herself (Stampede Meryl too), and her speech patterns are typically very polite and pleasant to listen to (with many lovely 'desu-wa' sentence finishers.) ...Until she changes to the informal, more feminine 'atashi.' Ex: when screaming at Milly to let her go (to Vash) as the city blew up during the Fifth Moon incident. The raw sincerity in her voice for that change is so...🥺 of her. Note, cause most other girls - from Rem, Milly, younger kids like Lina, to older (but youthful) grandma characters all informally use 'atashi.' So for Meryl to drop her usual formalities when her honest feelings come out ("I [atashi] need to go there!" - to the epicenter where Vash is) means a lot. :')) ...Ah! Cause she slips to 'atashi' again in ep25, in front of Vash (while he uses 'boku' at his most mentally lost and openly wounded state) at his bedside. o///o Oh my... Using 'atashi' again while crying to Milly in regret that she couldn't confess anything yet to Vash on his sendoff. So yes, Meryl's feminine 'atashi' side shows whenever she expresses her honest feelings. :'3

Now 98 Wolfwood is a special case, cause he speaks primarily in Kansai dialect, which is extremely hard for me to understand what he's saying in modified/shortened slang all the time. (Compared to say, Meryl who speaks very cleanly and polite.) I've heard him use 'ore' when offering kids food, the more rural/casual form 'oira' when confessing his turmoil to Milly at his most vulnerable, 'uchi' when talking about 'our orphanage,' 'washi' (the 'old man' form of watashi) when speaking in more formal/aged terms of 'God', to the slang form 'wai' (he casually prefers this one a lot, and Stampede Wolfwood uses 'wai' too, esp when introducing himself to new people, for most of the few eps he's even in, and it makes him sound like...way older than he actually is?) to even 'jibun' when talking about himself with distance in flashbacks. The impression he gives off is like that of someone who's come from a rural/street kid (orphan) background...but who speaks like a chill elder now?? who's aged far too soon for his years. That's my best interpretation of what's happening. (His slang 'wai' even slurs to sound like 'oira,' almost like 'wai-ra' sometimes; gah it's really hard for me to discern, I'm sorry.) Bonus: he teasingly calls Milly 'my honey' in english, while she playfully answers him back with the pronounced 'a-na-ta' (dear), so they def have an inside thing going on. Bottom line, he's very complicated *bangs head on desk* and his accent is too unfamiliar/beyond my meager course level to fully grasp! :'D

To sum up (to the best of my hearing comprehension):

Stampede Vash: always boku, modest and unassuming towards everyone 98 Vash: BOTH ore & boku; not fixed. Casual preference for ore vs more humble courtesy using boku, but it's extremely context/mood/persona dependent, since he can mask & switch for jokes. Has a serious confrontational/determined edge using ore vs Knives--as if Vash becomes the older brother here, but always reserves the softer boku towards Rem and the found family he loves Stampede Knives: always ore, ever since he was a baby; so much edge 98 Knives: boku, coming off unnervingly childlike vs Vash's ore Meryl (both): watashi, but changes to atashi (98) when her honest feelings towards Vash show Wolfwood (both, Kansai dialect): primarily wai, but can use many other forms Legato (both): boku Roberto: ore Milly: atashi, but can mask using watashi when she's not fine Rem: atashi (98) & watashi (Stampede) Stampede Luida: watashi, but atashi when casual with teen Vash Brad (both): ore Dr. Conrad: watashi Stampede Elendira: watashi Stampede Zazie: boku

Now besides the animes, since Trimax is a whole other overwhelming complicated beast, and since I don't have access to check (nor would I even be able to easily read/understand) the Japanese raws, I'd be VERY interested in someone's investigation and breakdown into the manga's pronouns, especially for Trimax Vash, since I've heard that beyond 'boku,' he shifts and evolves throughout his journey too, possibly ending on a very soft wizened, matured 'watashi' that I'd love to hear more!

[madakunn]

u can say i had a normal reaction for this new event drop

[bakersdaughter21]

one thing that i’m always just begging for is one of the OG Dads (granddads) to look at one of the grandkids and just go “Oh you must be Henry’s/Darryl’s/Ron’s/Glenn’s grandkid” OR JUST AS IMPORTANTLY “oh you must be Sparrow/Lark’s/Terry’s/Grant’s/Nick’s kid”. I want the dads to recognize their friends in their descendants. I want them to recognize their friends KIDS in their descendants. I want them to see them still creeping through the next generation. I want them to say it like it’s so obvious, like it’s so easy to recognize parts of their longtime friends in their family