#every time Taylor writes about someone around her being high? she just wrote that shit down

[multifandomwhore-003]

Random Hazel Callahan headcanons that have been rotting my brain for the past couple of days:

Pairing: Hazel Callahan x female! reader

Summary: Not needed

Genre(s): a little angsty at first, after that's it's just pure fluff

Warnings: mentions of trauma and maladaptive daydreaming

A/N: I'M GONNA WRITE MORE FOR HER BECAUSE I NEED IT SO STAY TUNED, also I listened to False God by Taylor Swift the entire time I wrote this.

Taglist: @aemonds-holy-milk , join tag list here

• She has horrible listening skills, usually her house has been a pretty noisy and chaotic place, even before her parents divorced, so she's learned to mute the outside world.

• It tends to annoy pretty much everyone else outside the fight club, the only exception being PJ, she perhaps got annoyed more than anyone.

• When you first noticed you had to repeat yourself at least five times whenever she was around, you tried to come up with different ways for her to keep up, like texting her as you spoke so she could read it as much as she needed to.

• Later on you found out it wasn't just about losing track of a conversation, as you asked to borrow one of her headphones one time, you were shocked her ears weren't bleeding right then and there.

"Fucking hell, Hazel! Are you trying to break your ears or something?" your ears hurt for a second.

"It's not loud at all" She placed them on her neck.

"Baby, I can hear the music coming out of those things like a concert speaker,"

• You decided to invite her over to your house as often as possible, demanding a no-headphones rule.

"Why not?!" she complained.

"Because you're gonna be completely deaf at the age of 40!"

"And you'll be there to teach me sign language, right?" she hugged your waist.

"You're saying you prefer not hearing my voice for the rest of our lives?" you lifted a brow.

• The realazation dawned on her.

• To this day she hasn't worn headphones a single day in her life.

• Maladaptive daydreaming is also something she struggles with, not as much now as she used to in middle school and the first two years of high school, but it still happens sometimes.

• You found out when you decided to surprise her by coming to her house one day

• Mrs. Callahan said she couldn't get in contact with Hazel, for whatever reason.

• Most likely her phone turned off since it was out of battery.

• So she texted you she was gonna be missing all night, permitted you to stay the night, and told you to take care of Hazel.

• You found her in the kitchen yelling, it sounded as if she was yelling at someone.

"Are you ever gonna choose me over a booty call?! How is it that Jeff's dick is more important than me?! Your daughter! You fucking pushed me out and you still can't even ask me how my grades are doing and shit!"

• Your first thought was —Her mom's plans must've been canceled—

• As you approached the room as quietly as possible, you looked through the rim of the entrance, there was no one.

"Hazel," you spoke quietly through her screams.

A shiver went down her spine, he face turned white, she blinked a couple of times before turnind her head, "How much of that did you hear?" she avoided your eyes.

"I've never heard you like that," was all you could mutter as you approached her slowly and then embraced her in a hug, "I know you're not insane by the way," you whispered in her hair.

She began to cry.

• She didn't want to talk about it for the next few days

• When she did, she stumbled upon her words, talked too fast, and teared up every once in a sentence.

"Call me first," you cupped her face, "I'll never judge you for whatever you have to say,"

• She wanted to kiss you right then and there, but just rested her forehead on yours, an act of ultimate intimacy.

• I could get into the divorced parents' trauma for hours because same

• But for now I'll move on to the happy part

• Physical touch is the absolute most pure form of love she can give

• If she's not hugging your waist at all times, she's holding your hand, resting her head on your chest, shoulders, legs, etc. pretty much everywhere she can

• If you have long or medium hair she'll attempt to braid your hair, keyword attempt

• If you have short hair she'll buy little elastic ponytails to tie them around your head everywhere she can

• Her reasoning behind this is that her favorite plants are cactuses

• That's it, that's all the reasons she needs

• If you happen to be bald she'll rub your head while singing the chorus to Diamonds by Rihanna

• She plays ukelele

• She knows how to make a few origami figures and if she tries a new one, as crumbled and sweaty as it is she gives it to you

• You have a whole shelf in your room dedicated to every piece of folded paper she's ever done for you

• If you're more of a fem! girl, she'll try something of yours whenever she comes over and stare at her reflection for hours

"Good thing, god didn't make me straight, she knew I would be a menace,"

• You can only roll your eyes and laugh at her twirling and pretending to dance ballet in your dresses and skirts

• If she happens to go shopping without you, she'll try something you'll like and send you the photo after

"If it looks this good on me, imagine how AMAZING it'll look on you,"

• She once asked you to put makeup on her, she'll say she was just curious how she'd look

• She wasn't lying, but she also didn't mention she just wanted to recreate this picture:

• If you happen to be more of a masc! girl, you'll trade clothes as often as you can think

• More than once you have arrived at school with something she likes and just drags you to the bathroom to for you to make the exchange

• It's not her clothes and your clothes anymore, everything you own is hers and vice versa

• More often than not you're no longer sure what used to be only yours

• This goes for accessories and shoes as well, even if they don't fit her, she'll fill them up with toilet paper until they fit just fine

• You'll match AT LEAST once a week, as per her request of course

• She tries all kinds of chips (or crisps for my British luvs) she has tried every flavor and seasoning, but her favorites and the flaming hot ones, even if she ends up chugging your waterbottle after finishing the bag

• Although her parents are rich and taught her from a young age to be a precise wine taster, she's a tequila and vodka girl

• She hates gloomy and rainy days because they bring down her mood, but spending the day binge-watching cheesy movies and stuffing her stomach with all the snacks o her house makes it up

• She's ABSOLUTE SHIT at Karaoke, but my god does she have the spirit

• Her go-to song is Lies by Fleetwood Mac, but if she's drunk enough to gain confidence she'll request Easy On Me by Adele

•  If she insists for long enough and you decide to sing with her, she 100% will try to recreate the following musical numbers:

• Lay all you love on me -Mamma Mia

• Every duet there is in Teen Beach Movie, her favorite childhood movie

• The cellblock tango -Chicago and Ex-Wives -from Six, if the rest of the fight club joins as well

• Popular from Wicked, strangely enough, she's Glinda

• Seventeen -Heathers

• Candy Store -Heathers featuring Isabel as Heather Mc Namara, Josie as Martha Dunnstock, and PJ as Veronica (She was heavily forced to after Brittany suggested it)

• Smooth Criminal -The Glee cast cover

• If you're a good singer, or at least a decent one, at the end of the song she'll hype you up more than anyone in the crowd, even carry you (this also applies to my plus size! lovelies, DON'T YOU WORRY, she has muscles)

• If you're a bad singer, then you'll be shit together, the worse your voices sound, the better you'll enjoy it

• Onto the kissing and overall more stereotypical relationship stuff, aka the not-so-comfortable part of my asexual-spectrum girlies.

• As previously shown in the original material

• Kissing is slow and passionate, she likes to enjoy your lips as much as possible, taking in every movement, taste, and breath

• Hands on your jaw  and neck EVERY FUCKING TIME

• The first few times you offered her some chapstick or lipstick, or lipgloss, or lip oil, or anything, she would kiss you making you chuckle in surprise

• Now you don't even need to ask, she'll just be like

"Hey, your lips look beautiful," and peck you on the lips

• If you're alone it definitely turns into a whole makeout session

• She just claims it tastes too good not to do it

• Every once in a while she'll hug you from behind and aggressively kiss your cheek

• Good luck kisses before every test

• Her favorite kind of dates are picnic dates

• She takes pictures of the sky whenever she feels it matches your vibe

• She takes A LOT of pictures of you ANYTIME, ANYWHERE, she even went as far as to buy a film camera because they make everything more magical

• She reads A LOT

• She obviously knows too much about social injustices and everything regarding that realm, but she likes other things as well

• Avid fantasy reader, I DON'T MAKE THE RULES,

• Going back to this need for escapism, she was heavily raised by George R.R. Martin and Leigh Bardugo

• Definitely screamed, jumped, and overall looked like she was in a sugar rush when both Game of Thrones and Shadow and Bone came out

• She wasn't exactly allowed to watch Game of Thrones at the time it came out, so she watched when she was 16 instead

• Shadow and Bone, however, oh boy, it was whole event

• She cosplayed Sturmhond and made you cosplay as Zoya

.

.

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That's it for now children, if I come up with anything else I'll do a part two or even better write something more complete

[heyitschartic]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love 💗

Ughhhhhhh, I took so long to reply to this, but thank you for the ask!!! I'm always happy to get the chance to talk about my stories. God, I've written so much shit that it's hard to pick, but like a kid with a scab, pick I shall.

5. Memoirs

Memoirs is just a silly little thing my girlfriend and I have been working on for the past few months about post-gm Taylor in Kennet. This story gets the number five spot not because I think it's bad, but because my beautiful girlfriend does a lot of the heavy lifting with plotting and characterization because I haven't read Pale. I'm simply there to add where I can. Lovely story, though, and I can't wait for it to reach its ending. I love stories exploring how Taylor deals with everything after it all ends, and K8 really is the queen of that genre.

4. High School Abusical

Alright, this was one of the first stories I wrote on my own that I was really proud of. This whole story spawned from a conversation with the absolute genius user Foxtail about how clusters are always so boring because people usually gen random characters that have no relation to each other when those existing relationships being twisted up into a trigger can lead to so much more fun. The main premise is that Taylor is in a cluster with the Trio. I really would like to get back to this fic someday. I had a lot of fun ideas I wanted to implement, and the way all these girls play off each other is so delightful. I was informed after the fact I got the way clusters work wrong when making the powers, which has really been the only thing holding me from continuing. I can't convince myself to write when such an integral part of the story is off. Maybe I'll redo those someday...

3. Self Implant

Self Implant, my beloved. Fun fact, this was a gift to K8 for her birthday. Bonesaw gets a person in her head, trying to take a crack at playing her conscience. Now, this might surprise some of you, but I really like Bonesaw. I love playing around with her, and this story is just an excuse to do that for one million words. Like a little bug in a jar that I'm feeding enrichment to. This story really just gets me excited. I really, really need to put some more out there, for my own sake if no one else's

2. Severed

Severed!!!!!!! A story about Taylor joining the nine and the consequences there of. Also, the only story I wrote that has the dubious honor of actually driving someone crazy in real life. This story means a lot to me. Severed was the reason that I first started talking to my girlfriend (she wrote the amazing AU of it, Soliloquy), and for that alone, it will always be near the top for me. I think this story is where I really kind of took off as a writer, started getting past a lot of the mistakes that plagued my earlier stuff. It still has tons of grammatical errors, hard to get those right when youre inebriated most of the time, but this story has a lot of my feelings wrapped up in it, a lot of myself wrapped up into it, which will always boost it towards the top.

1. Felix Fortuna

Felix Fortuna is the best story I think I've ever written, and it's not even close. A story about Contessa going to Hogwarts that was originally written because of how much I disliked what Ward decided to do with her character. I feel like you can actually see me get better in real time as the story goes on. This was a collaborative effort with three other amazing authors (Pericardium, Maroon_Sweater, and Poe), and I think it really shows with all the care put into it. It lands at number one for a lot of reasons. It's got some of the best prose of anything I've written, it's the most well constructed of my stories, I love every character from Fortuna to Flavia to Jessica and Angelique. But mostly I like it best because I, at my heart, am a massive softy. When it comes to it, more than anything, I want a story where a character I really love finally gets a happy ending.

[singingaboutwishingx]

tww present-day headcanons

okay obviously this is like... if we ignore the offset election years and the mysterious disappearance of the bushes and no 9/11 and that little point in time where santos and obama would have overlapped and the fact that no WAY would the voters have put democrats in the white house for like almost 20 years. anyway, just suspend your disbelief lol

(also quick little disclaimer: i’m still figuring out my feelings about this administration--the real-life one, not the bartlet one. i, as always, don’t mean to glorify/girlbossify/stan politicians, etc. i’m also not trying to bully any members of any generations, simply making statements based on my observations of the world around me).

josh and toby co-wrote a series of op-eds for the washington post that absolutely read 45’s administration for FILTH

congressman will bailey is having absolutely none of marjorie taylor green’s shit. he was throwing verbal hands on any news show that would take him for weeks.

someone made a post about donna being a regular guest on news shows and i don’t remember who it was, but anyway donna shows up on rachel maddow at least once or twice a month

liz divorced doug (that one’s just personally important to me) and is regularly dragging the shit out of ted cruz on twitter because we KNOW she can

charlie and zoey have a youtube channel where they answer questions about politics (both about the political process and current events). they try to keep it as non-partisan and strictly informational as they can.

jed starts a podcast (honestly, how could he not?). every episode is him talking about a different niche topic for 30-60 minutes. liberal gen xers and older millennials think it’s the best thing to ever happen. #unclejed is trending on twitter for a couple days after the first episode

molly and huck have a moderate amount of tiktok clout and they literally ask their parents every single day if they can adopt claudia conway because they are Concerned about her

cj and jenn psaki have a little moment on twitter and huffpost and/or buzzfeed writes an article titled something like “passing the torch: former wh press secretary sends jenn psaki her love on twitter”

there’s a little portion of leftist tiktok teens/twenty-somethings that are like “josh lyman is a war criminal but holy shit he was/is hot”

ABBEY BARTLET-DR. FAUCI TEAMUP!!! there’s an ad that plays absolutely everywhere where they tell you to wear your mask and wash your hands, and they zoom into a few major news shows

less public ellie bartlet-dr. fauci teamup!!! she’s helping with research from home because of her kids and she’s killing it

kate became a foreign affairs correspondent for cnn and there’s this Look she gives the camera (for context, she was talking about how 45’s treasury secretary went to saudi arabia to speak with the crown prince even AFTER he supposedly murdered that journalist) that instantly becomes a reaction gif. there’s at least one tweet or something that’s like “found the female jim halpert on cnn” with her gif and one of his side-by-side

this might be a hot take but i think ainsley voted for clinton (sorry going back a little ways) because she was def supporting, like, john kasich or someone in the primaries, but she can’t fucking stand 45 and thought that someone with absolutely no political experience whatsoever had no damn right to hold the presidency. i mean, listen, she hated clinton, but what else was she supposed to do, not vote? she becomes a very vocal critic and she’s one of the ones that’s like “this isn’t what the republican party stands for”

sam, who was double-masking before it was cool, is just home writing the novel we all know he was meant to write. he’s less involved with politics. there’s a direct correlation between how much news he watches and how high his blood pressure is. he’s compromised with himself by watching rachel maddow every night (mostly in hopes of seeing donna) and nothing else. besides, josh would text him if it was something REALLY important.

[sylvies-chen]

From Song to Storyline: Comparing Lorde’s “Melodrama” Album to Hailey Upton’s Upcoming Journey

Ok I couldn’t resist, I made a comment about how Hailey Upton is in her Melodrama era (because yes, I’m an absolute Lorde fanatic) and my loving soulmate @sylviebrettsey mentioned Taylor Swift’s Reputation too, but ALSO how she was unfamiliar with Melodrama so you can thank her for this analysis of why I picked Melodrama as Hailey’s season 9 mood! It’s going to be VERY long so I’ll put everything under the cut but I hope you guys like it! (And Sky, I hope you find this Lorde knowledge to be helpful lol. This is going to be very long but I hope it’s worth it and convinces someone out there to give the album a listen)

Reputation is an album that feels inherently vengeful in all the best ways. Songs like “Getaway Car” and “Don’t Blame Me” fit Hailey’s predicament at the end of season 8 very well, especially in relation to Jay. Those two songs as well as the album in general make for a very intense musical journey and Hailey’s been through a lot of intense things so naturally, it seems like they’d fit together. But based on what we’ve seen in interviews, I picked Melodrama for Hailey Upton’s season 9 era because that whole album plays with the idea of what happens after.

Lorde mostly talks about the crash that happens after a party when referencing this “after” but it acts a metaphor for being on a high note (a relationship, life, careers, etc.) and then crashing down. It’s a gritty, heart-wrenching album that holds so many similarities to what Hailey’s feeling. Coming into season 9, we know she isn’t sleeping, she can’t eat, there’s guilt eating away at her over what she’s done and over having to be around Kim constantly while keeping her secret. We know she’s clinging onto Jay with this proposal, know she’s going to have this internal torment because she can’t tell any of them what happened but Jay’s starting to notice something’s wrong with her and catching on to what happened. So, without further ado, lemme just give you snippets of lyrics from various songs on Lorde’s Melodrama album that fit with different parts of Hailey’s journey— as well as the unit’s journey— going into the new season!

1. “Sober”

In Sober, Lorde writes and sings about her experience of getting a panic attack at a party (Hence, the “Oh God, I’m clean out of air // In my lungs, it’s all gone” line) but then having to act normal because of social expectations and adds the “Played it nonchalant” line. In relation to Hailey, this represents her covering her ruse even though it’s killing her inside. Then, when we move further down these lyrics, it talks about being alone with the truth and dancing with the truth— again, Hailey struggling with the truth of what she did. Then, at the end of this first verse it could almost be seen from Jay’s perspective. “I’m acting like I don’t see // Every ribbon you used to tie yourself to me” is SO similar to what Jesse Lee Soffer’s been saying in interviews about Jay not knowing if Hailey’s proposal was genuine, and also what he and Tracy have said about Hailey’s proposal being genuine but also a product of her clinging on to the one good thing in her life.

2. “Liability”

Ah, yes, finally! The best song on the Melodrama album and arguably one of Lorde’s best songs ever! She wrote this in the back of a cab about the struggle of trying to love herself and worrying she’s too much for her friends. If that’s not a Hailey Upton sentiment going into this season, I don’t know what is! Not only is this applicable to Hailey with the Roy situation but it could also be applied to 8x11 when she was scared that her baggage and trauma around being abused by her father meant she couldn’t be with Jay. Also, now that she’s done this huge, massive thing that she has to live with, it’ll make it even harder for her to love herself— and for her to consider the fact that maybe, if she was truthful about that night, her friends would still love her anyway.

3. “Homemade Dynamite”

Homemade Dynamite, according to Lorde, describes “the moment when you meet someone at a party and an explosive night follows”. Again, right off the bat you see motifs of lies vs. truth when she’s saying let’s let things come out of the woodworks. It also technically talks about being blind to rules and dreams which is perfect for the finale: Hailey was blind to her dream (because let’s be real, thinking she could stop Voight was a fantasy), and Voight was blind to the rules. And just like the song says, it’s all bound to blow up on Hailey sooner or later, like homemade dynamite.

4. “Sober ll”

I feel like I don’t even need to explain my thought process behind this one. Trauma, melodrama, gun fights, terror, horror. ALL OF THESE are key words for what Hailey’s been through and will CONTINUE to go through. “They’ll talk about us, and discover // How we kissed and killed each other” is also applicable to the synopsis about how the FBI is potentially getting involved in discerning what happened to Roy. If they do, it could launch an investigation into the entire unit which could uncover a lot— “kisses each other” being the relationship drama that happens within the unit and “killed each other” being what happened with Roy and Voight’s general track record of murdering criminals and covering it up.

5. “Writer In The Dark”

Ok this first line is pretty much the entire reason I put this section of the song into this post. “I am my mother’s child, I’ll love you ‘til my breathing stops” is very strongly representative of Hailey’s past. She was raised in a household where her mother loved an abusive man and continued to love him even through the abuse of her and her children. It’s traumatizing, sure, but it also explains why Hailey’s reaction to shooting Roy was to go home and propose to Jay. She gets that loyalty from her mother, to the point where she could even stay in situations that hurt her (like refusing to leave Voight in the warehouse). But Jay doesn’t hurt her, he loves her unconditionally too which is why Hailey would love him until her breathing stops— or until, as it proceeds to say, “‘til you call the cops on me”, which is applicable in a much more literal sense.

6. “Supercut”

Supercut is probably my personal favourite of Lorde’s songs. The buildup is beautiful and the come-down is slow and gradual. It’s the epitome of pop in my opinion. But Hailey most definitely plays that moment over in her head and in her head, she would have done the right thing that night. And maybe she’s hoping the unit (Jay especially) will forgive her for shooting Roy instead of letting it cause a fight. This whole song is about replaying moments of a relationship in your head and changing the scenario so that it plays out as if you did everything right. You won’t always do everything right though, because we’re human and make mistakes, but it’s more than plausible that Hailey’s trying to capture that feeling.

7. Liability (Reprise)

Last but not least, we’ve got the reprise for Liability! This one’s a little more generic because it’s just the general vibe of the song that fits Hailey and this PD angst so well but honestly “And all of the shit that we harbour // Make all the kids in the choir sing, “Woo-hoo” is very applicable to Hailey because she’s got a lot of baggage going into this new season. “And maybe all this is the party // Maybe we just do it violently” is another line that fits her situation so well. In addition, since Liability is one of the last songs on this album the outro of the song is almost like the absolute rock bottom reached in the journey the album tells. It could easily be compared to if/when Jay finds out about what Hailey did. (Seriously, just imagine Jay saying “you’re not what you thought you were” to Hailey and tell me that wouldn’t make you cry! In a good way OR a bad way!)

Anyway, IN CONCLUSION: Melodrama is a twisted, heartbreaking album that fits into Hailey Upton’s upcoming journey in season 9 with the Roy storyline PERFECTLY! If you have time to listen to the album— or at least the songs I mentioned— then please do because it’s SO worth it. But until then, we’re going to be in for quite the angsty ride this season when it comes to Chicago PD and personally, I can’t wait to see what they do with it!

[doc-pickles]

i put a spell on you (because you���re mine)

story time: when i wrote my smut for taylor swift week i told lay aka @odd-birds-and-booksellers that i would never ever write it again and she insisted i would. it physically pains me to say this but she was right...

i wrote soulmate au smut and i’m not ashamed of it. well maybe a little. mostly i’m ashamed that this bad boy is what i put the most work into for our whole challenge. anyways enjoy.

tw// sexual content. that’s the whole fic. 

Jo knows how silly she sounds, to hope that someone out there might be her soulmate, but there’s still a small part of her filled with hope that the tall tales people tell are somehow true.

  As a doctor, Jo had taken more than her fair share of classes on anatomy and human sexuality, each one highlighting the fact that while soulmates haven’t been scientifically proven, there’s evidence to suggest otherwise. She feels almost childish buying into the belief that there’s someone out there that’s another half of her, she’s a scientist at heart and doesn’t let herself believe in such foolish ideas. However, she’d worked cases in her med school clinic and even in the Grey Sloan ER where people were overwhelmed with burning desire to… well you know. 

  Jo thinks she was in middle school when she’d first heard the whispers, that if you found your soulmate there was a way to know for sure that they were it. Your first touch, no matter how minute, would send you and your soulmate spinning with the desire to consummate your relationship. It was probably the craziest thing she’d ever heard of, but it crossed her mind every once in a while. There was an all too real possibility that the legends people told were true and that was something she didn’t know if she could live with. She’d already loved her fair share of men and if the soulmate legend was to be believed, she’d yet to find hers.

  There was Chris, the sweetest and most understanding boy she’d ever met. Their long nights spent in the backseat of her car and the way he’d toted her around to his fancy high class events like she was a treasure had made her feel her first sense of belonging. However for all the times they’d touched, there had never been that overwhelming feeling that Jo had craved. Sometimes she felt bad about the ending she wrote for them, but she knew that wherever he was Chris was doing big important things and she couldn’t help but be proud of that.

  Then there was Paul… While Jo was grateful not to have some eternal soul bond connecting her to him, she had still at some point been in love with him. Before they’d rushed off to the altar in his haste to legally tie her to him, Paul had been sweet and kind and really had made her fall in love. Of course things had gone down a path that Jo didn’t like to think about, but the sentiment of lost love was always there.

  Since coming to Seattle though, Jo’s love life had consisted mainly of a random hookup here and there, her mind putting away the idea that soulmates really did exist. In fact, it wasn’t even something she thought of at all as she let random men claw their way down her back or grind their hips into her own. Stephanie had called her a one hit wonder, but that’s easy to say when you’re constantly getting amazing sex with a man who looks like Jackson Avery.

  “Jo come on,” Leah called from the living room of the small apartment they shared. “I look hot and the longer we stay here, the harder I have to work to find a man who isn’t shit faced.”

  Adjusting her headband once more, Jo stuffs her thin wallet into her bra and leaves her bedroom. Joe’s was holding a Halloween party and Leah and Jo were not going to miss out on the festivities. Jo eyed Leah’s firefighter costume that left little to the imagination, the blonde confident in her abilities to snag an actual firefighter during their night out with the ensemble.

  “Look at you Wilson, you’re gonna be pulling them left and right out there,” Leah let out a low whistle as she took in Jo’s costume. “Naughty and nice indeed. Let’s get out there!”

  Jo had opted for a simple angel costume, her figure hugging dress just barely covering her ass and the low cut neckline showing off her assets well. She knew Seattle was freezing in October, but if this dress got her laid she couldn’t complain much. 

  Tugging at the hem of her dress, Jo followed Leah’s lead out the door of their apartment and towards the Uber she’d called while Jo finished getting ready. She’d had a long week at work and all she wanted to do was get drunk and go home with a guy who would take care of the physical needs her body was desperately craving to fulfill.

  “I heard a bunch of the fellows are coming out tonight, maybe you’ll get one of them to get into your pants,” Leah’s eyes were glued to her phone as she spoke. “Personally I’m hoping one of those hot EMTs rolls by. I would love to get a piece of that action.”

  Jo’s eyes bulged at Leah’s suggestion, scoffing at her friend, “Jeez you don’t beat around the bush. Besides there’s not really any hot fellows that are on the market still.”

  “Mmm Karev is,” Leah looked up from her phone, just in time to see Jo duck her head down. “And let me tell you, he is a fantastic lay.”

  “Leah! Jesus!”

  “I’m just saying, I’ve seen the guys you bring home and I’m sure none of them are completely satisfying your needs,” Leah shrugged, eyes looking out the window with a grin. “And we’re here! Thank god, I’m ready for shots.”

  Jo rolls her eyes, following Leah out of the car and into the crowded bar. The throngs of people help Jo’s body to warm up a bit as her and Leah push through the crowds. 

  “Oh! Grab those barstools, I’ll go get us drinks,” Leah pointed to an empty table in the corner, motioning Jo towards it as she headed for the bar. 

  Jo settles herself into one of the seats, pulling her phone out to distract her until Leah comes back. She needs alcohol desperately, she needs to be drunk and she needs to get laid. Whatever else happens tonight doesn’t matter as long as those two things happen. 

  She’s pulled out of her thoughts by someone sitting in the seat next to her. Already annoyed with them, Jo turns to chew out whoever decided tonight was the night to mess with her, “Listen, I don’t know who you think- Oh.”

  Sitting next to her was Alex Karev, dressed in casual street clothes and taking pulls off the beer in his hand. She hadn’t seen him all day, she’d been working in ortho with Torres, so he wasn’t an unwelcome sight. 

  “You gonna continue yelling at me Princess? Or maybe I should call you Angel tonight,” Alex grinned at Jo, flicking the halo atop her head as she rolled her eyes at him. “You come down here all alone?”

  “No I came with Leah, she’s grabbing us drinks. She’s been gone forever though.”

  “Yeah well she’s making out with some guy in the corner,” Alex’s eyes scanned the room and pointed the blonde out to Jo, who grimaced. “Doing that in public should be illegal.”

  A laugh left Jo, taking in Alex as he surveyed the room. They’d worked together a lot lately, developing a close relationship that consisted of them joking during surgeries then coming to the bar for a few rounds of beers. He was funny, more charming than most gave him credit for, and he had a huge heart for the kids he worked with. It was easy for Jo to form a bond with him, something that Stephanie teased her about whenever she had the chance. 

  “Come on, I need a new beer and I’ll get you one too, only cause I feel bad that you got ditched,” Alex stood and gestured for Jo to follow him towards the bar. “So you trying to get laid tonight?”

  “Oh my god! Alex!”

“Oh please, I’m not hitting on you. That dress just tells me everything I need to know. Besides, I’m sure any guy in this place would take you home,” Jo almost has to laugh at Alex’s commentary as they walk towards the bar. “Seriously, I’d be shocked if you didn’t get laid tonight. You look hot.”

  A snappy comeback is on the tip of her tongue when Jo finds herself all but pushed towards Alex as a pair of stumbling idiots behind her attempt to find their footing. Alex’s hands reach out to steady her, falling to her bare arms as they lock eyes. 

  Holy shit. 

  The feeling coursing through Jo is unrecognizable and familiar all at once. Her eyes lock with Alex’s, noticing the dark look that’s taken over them as they hold each other’s stares. Her skin is burning where his hand is still laid across it, the sensation rippling out across her body and sending a chill down her spine. Despite not having a drop of alcohol tonight, Jo’s head is fuzzy and her senses fluctuate uneasily as she processes what’s just happened. 

  “ Oh fuck .”

  The words leave Alex’s mouth and tug harshly at something deep within Jo’s core, her panties immediately soaking themselves at just the sound of his voice. What the hell was happening to her? Alex pulled his hand back from her arm, the absence turning wheels in her mind that told her to touch him again, to bring him closer and not to stop. She could tell from the way he was fidgeting that he felt the same intense feeling pulsing through his body that she did. 

  Was this it? Was this that all consuming feeling that people talked about? Her mind was screaming at her, telling her to press her lips to Alex’s to feel more of the electricity crackling through her veins. She couldn’t though, she realized as reality slapped her harshly across her face, there were so many reasons why she couldn’t shouldn’t do this but… 

  The feeling building inside of her comes to a startling peak as Alex leans close to her, his breath fanning across her neck as he wraps an arm around her waist. The fire inside of her reignites as Alex’s fingers brush against her bare skin again, the apex of her thighs burning at how close his body is to hers. She can barely comprehend what he’s saying, her mind clouded by a thick fog that threatens to consume her whole being, but the words he speaks drag her up as if she’d been drowning and he was a fresh breath of air, “Bathroom, now .”

  Jo just nods, not trusting herself to speak as she watches Alex weave through the crowd of people and disappear behind the bathroom door. Her heart is hammering, her mind on another plane as her feet carry her down the same path she’d just watched Alex take. 

  She had a soulmate. Jo couldn’t believe it, she had found the person she would spend the rest of her life with and it was Alex Karev. She’d thought that he might be different, that he might be special in a way she wouldn’t dare to say out loud. But she had also thought she was wrong, their first interaction consisting of their gloved hands brushing against one another in a rush to grab trauma gowns. Then again in the NICU as they high fived each other nothing had happened. Still rounds of radio silence as Alex pressed his hand into back when they’d walked the halls, when she’d settled a hand comfortingly onto his shoulder after they’d lost a patient, and again when they’d worked in the OR and their hands had passed surgical tools back and forth. 

  Jo realizes then that her and Alex, for all the times they’d touched each other, had never touched each other’s bare skin. Her arm begins to burn at that thought, the spot that Alex had grabbed her tingling as if begging for his touch again. Her body was no longer her own, Jo thought, as it thrummed and yearned for Alex Karev of all people to touch her in places she wouldn’t dare to say out loud. She stops suddenly as she stands in front of the bathroom door, breath coming out in spurts as she stares at the wood. Once she walked in, her life would be changed forever. She contemplated not going, turning around and leaving the bar altogether, but the longing building in her core wouldn’t stop, an all consuming need to walk into whatever unknowns faced her if it meant Alex would be there too. 

  With a silent resolve, Jo pushed open the door, quickly shutting and locking it behind her. As soon as she turned around, she felt lips against her own that helped quell the burning need deep in her belly. She couldn’t help the low moan that left her, Alex using the movement as an opportunity to sneak his tongue into her mouth. His fingers were running up her legs, moving dangerously closer to the hem of her skirt as she pressed herself closer to his touch. 

  “You… I knew there was something about you,” Alex’s lips were trailing down her neck now, Jo’s skin flaming hot as his tongue darted out to cool the skin. “Should’ve known it was you.” The moan that leaves her as Alex’s tongue pulls down the strap of her dress and licks a path down to her breast is almost embarrassing in how desperate it sounds. It feels like she’s lost control of herself, her body reacting to Alex in ways she never would normally. Her fingers are running through his hair, eyes closing as she leans back against the wall in pleasure. She finds her free hand moving of its own will, snaking down Alex’s chest and under his shirt to claw at the skin there. 

  “ Alex . Off.”

  She can’t get more words out than that, her fingers moving to try and push off his shirt in a daze. He takes the hint and pulls back to rip it off himself, his fingers then moving to quickly undo the clasp of her bra. Alex pushes her dress down quickly and throws her bra to the side, hands coming up to pinch her nipples in a way that makes her hold back a scream. Jo knows that with less clothing the air should feel cooler but her body instantly heats up as Alex’s bare chest meets her own, his lips colliding with hers again as her nails rake down his back. 

  She’s had sex before, she’s had phenomenal sex with different partners, but this… the connection she feels with Alex as their bodies melded together was unreal. They hadn’t even taken their pants off yet and Jo knew that this was by far the best sex she would ever have. 

  “Oh Jesus,” while trapped in her own mind, Jo hadn’t noticed Alex’s fingers moving lower and slipping under the thin lace of her panties. Now that she has though, she can’t ignore him or his fingers that are curling so easily into her and hitting her so deliciously that it feels as if he’d done it a thousand times before. “ Alex .”

  “Say it again.”

  His voice is rough and desperate against her lips, her head tilting back in pure ecstasy as his fingers continue to move inside of her. 

  “Oh god, Alex . Please don’t stop. Alex , Alex .”

  His name sounds different on her tongue, the word rolling off so easily that she wants to say it again and again until her voice is hoarse and she has no more words left. His breath is hot against her neck, hitting in time with the fingers that are still stretching her and bringing her closer and closer to her breaking point. She’s close, she’s so close and she knows he can feel it, Alex’s lips trailing back down her neck to bite lightly at her breast. 

  “You’re gonna be the death of me,” his voice is a growl, teeth skating her skin as she whimpers. Jo can feel herself ready to fall over the edge, her body tensing in the best way as she digs her nails into Alex’s shoulder. “Come on baby, you’re so close. Come for me.” His voice sends her over the edge, the words falling from his lips sending her into ecstasy. Every nerve in her body is on fire as her orgasm washes over her, pleasure taking over every bit of sense she has. She can feel Alex’s hands wrapping around her waist, his lips trailing back up her neck and towards her mouth, but doesn’t fully register him until his lips are pressing against hers again. This kiss is less needy and desperate, but the passion between the two is still burning bright as Jo follows Alex’s call to wrap her legs around his waist.

  She thinks he’s going to settle her onto the sink counter, but instead Alex drops her in front of it, flipping her around so her bare breasts are pushed against the cool marble as he bends her over. He doesn’t waste any time, quickly throwing her panties to the side and letting his hands wander her bare ass. She can hear his belt and pants clattering to the floor, eyes closing in eager anticipation of what’s to come. 

  “I feel bad for taking you in a bar bathroom for our first time,” Alex’s words are hot and heavy as he leans forward, his lips ghosting her ear as he runs his fingers through her folds once more. “But you’re so damn eager.” “I don’t care where, please just fuck me,” Jo’s voice is bordering a whine as Alex removes his fingers from her, leaving her wanting more as her chest pressed against the countertops harder. “ Alex, please.”

  He’s silent for a moment, Jo’s about to turn around when his fingers squeeze her hips tightly as he sheaths himself inside her in one fell swoop. Her voice isn’t her own as she leans forward, a loud moan leaving her as Alex sets a pace that's altogether torturously slow and the exact thing she’d needed since his hand grasped her arm. 

  “God, you’re so good,” Alex’s voice is husky, a moan intermixed with the words as he lets one hand wander up Jo’s body. His pace picks up a bit, Jo’s own moans growing louder and more frantic as she grasps the sink tightly. “You feel so good wrapped around me.”

  “ Alex ,” the word barely drips from her mouth as he continues his quickened pace, fingers tightening against her hip. High pitched moans punctuate her words as her body takes him with everything she has. “Mmm… wanna… see you… Alex .”

  Alex doesn’t waste any time, releasing her hips and flipping her quickly around to face him. Jo’s legs are around him in a flash, his arms settle around her as she takes him once more, hips grinding down against his as she leans her forehead against his. 

  The pace they set is fervent, their bodies moving in tandem as their tongues battle each other. While her body is rolling through waves of ecstasy, Jo feels something deeper inside of her building. There’s a connection, a bond building between her and Alex as their bodies connect in the most intimate way. The urge she feels deep within her causes her to open her eyes, meeting Alex’s dark eyes that are already on her. The interaction alone causes Jo’s heart to skip a beat, her fingers coming back up to Alex’s face as she brought their faces closer. 

  “You… you’re everything. You’re so beautiful. God, I’m so glad it’s you,” the words leave Alex in a breathless whisper, but the sentiment behind them isn’t lost on Jo. The look in his eyes isn’t the raging lust that it had been when they’d locked eyes at the bar, instead there was a genuine longing and love behind it. “Come here.”

  Alex brings her lips to his, one hand gripping tightly to her waist as his strokes went from hard and heavy to slow and intimate. With every languid thrust he makes, Jo’s body reacts in turn with a moan that drives her closer to her breaking point. She’s close, so damn close.  

  “ Alex , oh god,” Jo knows she sounds desperate, but the way Alex is moving is driving her crazy. As he bottoms out once more, she breaks their lips apart to take him in again. His eyes are closed, forehead resting against hers as he lets his own frenzied moans fill the air. He’s close, she can tell by the ragged breaths coming out between his moans as his fingers squeeze her hips and surely leave marks on the delicate skin. “Come with me, please Alex .”

  His eyes pop open then, their gazes meeting as they both topple over the edge in unison. A carnal moan leaves Alex as he buries himself in her, teeth desperately nipping and biting at her neck once again. The feeling washing over Jo as her second orgasm overtakes her is indescribable, like her whole body is on fire in the best way. Her nails claw down Alex’s back, her mouth agape as she relishes in the feeling of him  pulsing inside of her. 

  When they've both taken a minute to recover, a low laugh erupts from Alex, his lips still brushing against Jo’s neck. His fingers find her cheeks, eyes moving up to meet hers with a crooked grin that makes Jo melt a bit inside, “Hey there.”

  “Hi,” Jo can’t think of anything else to say as she takes in Alex’s face. She’d looked at him hundreds of times before, but this felt different. It was as if she was staring at an entirely new person, which she almost was. This wasn't Alex Karev her boss, this was Alex Karev her soulmate. The man she’d spend her life with, the man who would father her children, the man whose last name she would take. 

  “You wanna get outta here? I really wanna take you home,” Alex’s words are soft and low, as if there’s a chance that Jo will say no to his request. 

  “Yes please, I can’t think of anything better,” she presses a light kiss to his lips, a grin overtaking both of them as she does so. “Mmm you’re gonna have to move if we wanna leave.”

  Alex chuckles, finally untangling their limbs and beginning to gather up their clothes that they’d discarded around the small bathroom. He hands Jo her dress and bra, her cheeks heating with a blush as she watches him slip her lacy white panties into his pocket. 

  “Did you think maybe I needed those,” Jo’s voice was filled with amusement as she looked at Alex, who held the door open for her as they slipped out of the bathroom together. “You’re gonna let me walk through the bar with a dress this low and no panties?”

  Alex slings his arm around Jo’s shoulder, pressing a kiss to her temple as he whispers in her ear as they make their way through the crowd, “I know the angel getup is just a costume, you’re pretty naughty on the inside.”

[diegolabhont]

I didn't mean to fall in love with you

Chapter One

Book: Queen B - Choices (Universe)

Pairing:  Poppy Min-Sinclair x Trans!Male MC  (Beck Hughes)

Genre: None (in this post, al least)

Rating: Anyone can read it, really.

This is me trying to write by and for the Trans community, specially FTM community, meaning, trans guys, but I actually took the liberty to use They/them pronouns for everyone out there who´s interested (Also, the name Beck was the most neutral one I could find, trying to use the cannon Bea Hughes)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Can someone explain to her how a person who claims to be so disinterested in the ranking was magically climbing to the top twenty?

Poppy didn’t buy it for a second, she always knew Beck were going to be a pain in her ass ever since the first time she saw them looking at her as if they weren’t impressed, but she wasn’t fully aware of how much.

“You don’t have to worry about them, Poppy” Chloe said while the strawberry blonde retouch her make up in the mirror inside her own room. “Beck is just a dude”

“Transphobia much, Chloe?” Veronica murmured playfully, wanting to start drama among her streaming fans.

“No! What I'm saying is… Beck's brain works as a regular dude, right? How much smart can they be?”

“Ha! That´s rich coming from you” Veronica laughed.

Both girls started a discussion about related shit, Beck’s brain, hormones and else while Poppy put on the mascara. Completely silent, thinking.

She treated Beck as a common enemy, she attacked them just like she would to any other lost lamb trying to be the wolf but it was not enough. Even one of those plans exploded in her own face: ruining and breaking Beck's guitar caused that they not only get a flashy and beautiful new one, but sang side by side with the one and only Jaylen Riaz, making a huge performance. Even better than hers, which was something painful and humiliating at the same time, especially after Veronica told her Beck’s YouTube channel had a followers increase, making them even more popular.

Chloe was right on something: Beck’s brain worked like a dude, and if she had learned something was that men in general were manipulable. Take a look at Michael, he was dumb as hell. Liam was a douchebag. Luis, Ford… well, they… they´re there. The only golden boy among them was Carter, and yet, he wasn´t that hard, she just gave him what he wanted in that party and after that, everything ran smoothly.

And that´s what she needed.

Poppy´s look changed, her eyes sparkled in a very malicious way and a smile crossed her face for a split second. She now had a plan, and unexpectedly, it was a Chloe attribution.

“Maybe if we accused them of cheating…?” Chloe suggested, but Poppy knew better.

“That won´t be necessary, Chlo” Poppy intervened for the first time in a while, making both girls look at her intrigued. They knew Poppy, and the little smile she had on her lips as she applied lipstick was a proof. The blonde was onto something juicy. Veronica ended the live and awaited. “Beck will be mine.”

~~X~~

It was kinda lame to her, but finding Beck completely alone under the football stands playing guitar was at least convenient. They were an eye candy from the start, that was a fact. The way that white t-shirt embraced their body was something else to see, her mind went back to the second time she saw them. The sassy rock star kind of look Beck had, even the haircut was perfect, Poppy knew that was a Zoey Wade signature and she kinda thanked her for it. Beck was damn fine, that fact made easier her plan to be honest.

“You know… You do pass pretty well as a man”

Beck stopped playing, literally frozen in place as a statue.

“What did you just say?” Their tone of voice was cold, almost insulted. Did she just get it wrong? No, she´s never wrong. A Queen can´t be wrong, especially a Min-Sinclair queen.

“It was a compliment, Farmsville” she said, rolling her eyes.

“That´s not a compliment” Beck chuckled, putting the guitar aside. “I mean, I don´t mind, but if you are going to use that to the trans community… It~ may not end well” Poppy frowned, a little pissed off. She was doing an effort, no-one had ever heard a compliment from her and this little sh… “But thanks.” Beck offered her a sweet smile a second before turn it into a mocking one. “You do pass pretty well as a woman, too”

“Go fuck yourself!”

“And now she gets it!” They started laughing, making her really angry. Poppy walked away fuming, her head up high and a killer look murdering anyone who dare crossing ways with her.

That stupid ASSHOLE. Did they THINK they could disrespect her?! To HER! She was the number ONE, the fucking RULER of the entire school. Beck was lucky enough to be in her radar and they just throw stupid shit like that!

“To be fair… I did say it first”

“I thought it was a COMPLIMENT” She fight against herself. “What am I? Some trans expert?!”

“No… But I can be. I mean, to destroy my enemy…”

“I have to know them...”

Even thought she was still mad about it, Poppy tapped wildly though her phone. She needed to do something, and she knew just the thing.

“It´s ON, jackass”

~~X~~

POV: Beck

Top fifteen. Everyone was losing their shit because they were now top twenty and Beck... Well... They just didn´t want it.

And yeah, sure, that was kinda good. The students in Belvoire had begun to pay attention to their music as well, Beck even caught a few of them listen to songs Beck wrote and some other cover as well. Their art was taking off and that was awesome, don't get it wrong, that was something Beck wanted for so long, but...

They were afraid.

What if it was because of the stupid ranking?

What if Beck just wasn´t that good, and the only thing people would want was that Beck who studded up against Poppy Min-Sinclaire and lived to tell? Even Zoey, she was talking about popularity, Belvoire elite, and some “Person to watch-out” or shit Award which yes, was huge! But… Beck really was afraid that it was Beck who puts the music high and not backwards.

What if…

What if Poppy really messes all up?

“You know… You do pass pretty well as a man”

Poppy´s words in their mind caught Beck off guard. What was her deal anyway? She came and said some weird shit, and...

Actually, everything in that interaction was weird as fuck. And not just that, Beck meet Taylor by accident later that day in the ice cream shop, they both talked a little and they found out she had a big crush onto some random guy Beck didn´t knew before.

Of course Beck was the matchmaker! They even helped her by carrying those stupid anti-diarrheic pills to the lion´s den. Ok, yes, maybe~ Beck should´ve had given them to someone and not just let them in the front door… But it wasn´t their fault that The T found out!! Poppy was losing it, and of course it was them to blame.

Why can´t they just have a normal life… with normal problems… and not… this?

“I´m dead… I´m actually dead…” Beck thought while burying their head on their hands, tired.

“Beck? Hello? I assume you heard the details of the assignment.”

“What?”

“Ehm… Yeah! Totally” Beck said with a “confident” smile that nobody believed in, Professor Roberta even frowned before going back to the lecture, while Beck tried uselessly to catch something about the assignment from their classmates´ laptops. She hated Beck anyway, but it wasn´t good news to be always in her bad side.

“Shit! Shit! Shit! … What did she say?”

“Mass comm is all about reaching people far and wide, so this project is meant to give the voiceless in our own community a voice by…”

A penetrant gaze nailed their nape, giving them chills. Beck immediately looked for that one hawk over them and not to their surprise the person found on the other side was that deadly beauty called Poppy Min-Sinclair, watching Beck as they´re a prey. Feeling really drove up the wall, Beck winked playfully at her, expecting her to look away or some rude expression towards them.

But no.

Scaring the shit out of them, Poppy actually smiled back at Beck. A sweet, flirty smile that left them feeling their heart racing as crazy and their cheeks burning red, her dark eyes so into theirs that all their system collapsed... What was happening?

“Earth to Beck!”

Professor Roberta yelled, making Beck jump a little in their sit, breaking all eye contact between them both. When did Beck turn their body completely to watch Poppy? Of course the professor was mad, Beck was practically giving her their back! As faster as they could, Beck took the right seat, being even more embarrassed now while Poppy let go a chuckle, they could hear her from any other laughter just as clearly as if she were so close.

“Oh, sorry. I… Sorry”

“Find your community service project partner please” Professor said. Beck gathered their things and head into the aisle, looking around, praying to find someone whiling to work with them and, mainly, explain to them what was that project about. The thing was everyone had already a partner. Everyone except for…

The strawberry blonde was gazing Beck as sure as someone who´s waiting for this chance can be. Smiling that same smile that caused them to feel butterflies in their stomach… Beck wasn´t sure if they were aroused… or scared.

“Professor Roberta… I need a new partner” Beck practically begged. “I´m sorry. I just can´t work with Poppy.”

The pretty but odd teacher was about to say something. Something bad based on the expression on her face, but a perfect made-up laughter cut her words, as Beck was feeling how a soft and warm hand hooked to their arm.

“Nonsense, professor! I am pretty sure we´ll be working just fine.” Poppy said, a relaxed expression drawn on her porcelain face. “Let´s go, Hughes.”

Ok, Beck was now scared. As both of them walked out the classroom, Beck´s brain was running wild, thinking about every and each form Poppy could use to disappear them from the face of the earth. Ironic, Beck survived Farmsville but they´ll be totally done in New York. Ha! Life hates them.

“Listen, I know what you are thinking…”

Really?

“... but the last thing I need right now is having my GPA taken away. So I´ve already figured it all out. We´re doing an animal shelter commercial for our project. I can ask daddy to borrow the equipment and crew”

“Didn´t think of you as a daddy person” Beck laughed, a little more repose.

“Shut the fuck up, Farmsville. This will be easy, so all I need you to do is… Oh my god.”

Poppy stared at her phone completely in shock, color draining from her face as it was sucked by a dementor.

“I have to go. We can figure out the deets later, I´ll text you where to meet me”

Then, she just left. Beck took a deep breath and let out a hiss.

“Gosh, this school is going to kill me!”

They said, who would have thought a class could be so much?

-----

Next

[just-random-obsessions]

Funny Moments In Thor The Dark World

Find Thor 1 here

Find Avengers 1 here

This is the second part of me watching all three thor movies and the avengers movie and comparing the humor pre-ragnarok to the humor in the 3rd Thor movie. And, as before, I’m writing this on my computer where the I and U keys don’t work so sorry for any spelling mistakes.

Tag List: @nikkoliferous @fyrecrafted @lokijiro @miskiett @darthxerik @icyxmischief @iamanartichoke @juliabohemian @official-and-unstable-satan @melodylnoelle @just-another-human-2019 @fandomsfanfiction @mentallydatingahotcelebrity @cateyes315 @burningarbiterheart @imnotacreepijustlikeyou @usedtobegoodfriend96 @alexakeyloveloki

Official-and-unstable-satan and fandomsfanfiction weren’t tagged sry

Anyone who wants to be added/removed to the tag list please let me know! and if I missed someone please also let me know. Sorry this post is so long

~ “Hello Mother. Have I made you proud?”

~ “Please don’t make things worse” “Define worse”

~ “I really don’t see what all the fuss is about”

~ “Just like you”

~ *That smile!!!!*

~ “I’ve got this completely under control!” “Is that why everything’s on fire?”

~ *About the Scary MonsterTM: “All yours”

~ *Thor says hi to the Big Scary MonsterTM*

~ “I accept your surrender”

~ “Anyone else?” *All the people simultaneously: NOPE*

~ “Perhaps next time we should START with the big one”

~ *Odin obviously shipping Thor and Jane* (idk I got a kick out of this)

~ *Jane awkwardly avoiding her date*

~ *Date: hi*

~ *Him awkwardly talking about his ex*

~ “And the fact that she kept sleeping with other men” “NO!”

~ *Darcy being mistaken for a waitress*

~ *Darcy mouthing “Cute” to Jane about Richard*

~ *Darcy embarrassing Jane by talking about Thor*

~ “Is there a point to all of this cause there REALLY needs to be a point to all of this”

~ “That’s what I said!”

~ “That’s what I did!”

~ “He’s not interested” “I’m interested” (Am I the only one who feels like his awkwardness was actually kinda cute?)

~ “He’s my intern.” “You have an intern?”

~ *Intern is fucking adorable like Richard*

~ “I have totally mastered driving in London!” *Has not mastered it at all*

~ *Selvig running around Stonehenge naked*

~ *Darcy keeps calling Ian ‘Intern’*

~ *Darcy calls Jane cause she didn’t wanna shout*

~ God I fucking love Darcy she’s so criminally underrated

~ “I am not getting stabbed in the name of science”

~ “It’s okay, we’re Americans!” “Is that supposed to make them like us?”

~ “We’re scientists-well I am” “Thanks”

~ “That doesn’t seem right”

~ “I wanna throw something! Jane give me your shoe!”

~ *Jane ignores Darcy*

~ “Give me your shoe”

~ “Were those the car keys?”

~ *Ian’s face when he realizes he threw the car keys to another planet*

~ *If you have to bury so many people then you’re doing something wrong you hot dumb fuck* (I mean that’s basically what Heimdall said right?)

~ “Typical” *after being left behind while Jane goes to talk to her boyfriend*

~ *Jane! Love of my life and most talented and beautiful person in the world oh how I love yo-SLAP*

~ “As excuses go, its not terrible”

~ “I know” “You do?” “Do what?”

~ *Darcy interrupts the KissTM*

~ “Um I’m pretty sure we are getting arrested”

~ “How’s space?” “Space is fine”

~ “He’s my intern… My intern’s intern”

~ “Holy shit!” (after Jane went up in the Bifrost)

~ *Heimdall calmly dodges the car*

~ “We have to do that again”

~ “Hello”

~ “What’s that?”

~ “It’s a soul forge” *No I’m pretty sure that’s a quantum field generator*

~ *Jane being ready to fight Odin for comparing her to a goat*

~ “You told your dad about me?”

~ “It must be so inconvenient, them asking about me day and night”

~ “Please meet my mother” *Jane shies away from Thor*

~ Loki casually tossing the thingamajig in the air like the cute little shit he is

~ Lord, he’s so damn pretty

~ *Kurse being like: Lol I ain’t touchin’ that boy with a ten foot pole*

~ “It’s as if they resent being in prison”

~ “There’s no pleasing some creatures”

~ *Loki calmly reading a book while all Hel breaks loose*

~ “You have my word that no harm will come to yo-” nvm bitch die

~ *THAT look between Sif and Jane*

~ *Frigga immediately seeing through Odin’s bs lies*

~ *Heimdall: I have defeated the big space ship!! The bigger one behind him: Bitch you thought*

~ “WITCH!!!!” *Now I know who Loki gets his amazing aforementioned smile from*

~ *Selvig using shoes to explain complicated science*

~ *Selvig then using pencils*

~ “Any questions?” “Yeah, can I have my shoe back?”

~ “What’s SHIELD?” “It’s a secret”

~ *Darcy’s cute af face when she sees that Selvig is in the mental hospital*

~ “Are you sure you wouldn’t just rather punch your way out?”

~ *Loki shapeshifting into the guard*

~ “Mmm Brother, you look ravishing”

~ “Costumes a bit much”

~ “So tight!”

~ “I can FEEL the righteousness surging!!”

~ “HEY wanna have a rousing discussion about truth?”

~ “Honor?”

~ “Patriotism?”

~ “GOD BLESS AMERICA!”

~ “At last. A little common sens-”Bitch are you really fucking kidding me? (What do you mean that’s not what he said?)

~ “I thought you liked tricks”

~ “I’m Loki, you may have heard of-” SLAP

~ “That was for New York”

~ “I like her”

~ *Loki gazing lovingly at Jane in the background*

~ “Betray him, and I’ll kill you.” “It’s good to see you too Sif”

~ “If you even think about betraying him-” “You’ll kill me? Evidently there will be a line”

~ “I thought you said you knew how to fly this thing.” “I said how hard can it be?”

~ “Whatever your doing brother I suggest you do it faster.” “Shut up Loki

~ “You must’ve missed something.” “I didn’t, I’m pressing every button on this thing”

~ “Well don’t hit it. Just press it, gently.” “I aM pReSsInG iT gEnTlY AND ITS NOT WORKING!!!”

~ *Thor starts slamming buttons and it starts working*

~ *Volstagg: Oh fighting is much fun- OH SHIT IM FALLING!! HELP!!!*

~ “I think you missed a column.” “Shut up”

~ “Why don’t you let me take over? I’m clearly the best pilot”

~ *Bitch I’m the one who can actually fly*

~ “Oh dear. Is she dead?”

~ *Thor knocks over a column* “Not a word”

~ “Now they’re following us”

~ “Now they’re firing at us”

~ “Yes thank you for the commentary Loki, it’s not at all distracting”

~ “Well done, you just decapitated your grandfather”

~ *Seriously, whoever wrote the escape scene is a genius!!!*

~ *Loki yelling at Thor about how thIs was a bad idea you dumb fuck- wait wtf are you doing AAAAHHHHH!!!!1*

~ “You lied to me. I’m impressed”

~ *That smile again snfnejaihfeqrqrsbdsalxdjewonjfeq*

~ “For Asgard!” YEET

~ “Nothing personal boys!”

~ “If it were easy, everyone would do it”

~ “Are you mad?” “Possibly”

~ “TADAAA”

~ “Oh yeah, my father. Eric Selvig”

~ “And these” “yeah… those”

~ “How did you find me?” “You were naked on television”

~ “I don’t get paid enough. I don’t get paid at all”

~ “What’s happening? Birds? Birds are happening?”

~ “All right are you ready?” “I am”

~ *phone rings* “It’s not me”

~ “Why are there so many shoes in here?”

~ “I’ll just text her”

~ “So who’s Richard?”

~ *Thor hanging his hammer on a coat hanger*

~ “Where are your pants?” “Oh he says it helps him think”

~ “Loki is dead” “Oh thank God!”

~ “Better get my pants”

~ “Do you even know what these things do?” “No” “…Neither do I”

~ “Ooh get the guy with the sword!”

~ “Oops”

~ *Ian’s high-pitched scream*

~ *Does car insurance cover My Car Was Sucked Into Another Planet Due To A Cosmic Event That Only Occurs Once Every 5000 Years or no?*

~ *Thor and Malekith fighting between worlds and poor little Mjolnir trying to keep up*

~ *The two of them against windows*

~ *AAAHHH*

~ *Awww! Look at the cute little Jotunheim monster! He’s so adorable I wanna pet him so much!’

~ *Darcy and Ian kissing after he saved her life*

~ “Darcy?” “Jane!” “Ian?” “Selvig.”

~ “Myuh Myuh!!”

~ *Thor ends up on the subway*

~ *The girl taking 50 photos*

~ *Thor and the woman colliding into eachother*

~ “I’ve come to accept your surrender”

~ *Malekith gets crushed by his own ship. Now that’s some lovely karma right there*

~ *Darcy and Ian go back to kissing*

~ “He kinda committed treason on our way out” oops

~ Jotunheim Puppy chasing birds

Wow I’m so sorry this was so long. But guess what? It’s gonna get even longer. Sorry, again.

So one of the differences between the first and second Thor movies is that Thor 2 has humor in the climax whereas Thor 1 doesn’t. This is because of the differences with who is the villain. In Thor 1, Thor is having to fight his brother. To quote Avengers, they “played together and fought together” for several millennia. Of course there’s not going to be any humor in it cause there shouldn’t be. The climax at the end of the movie isn’t supposed to be some epic battle between the forces of Good TM and Bad TM. It’s supposed to be tragic that he’s having to fight his own brother because Loki lost his mind due to so many factors. The last joke in the film is “You’re an amazon liar brother, always have been” “It’s good to have you back”. There’s nothing else till the end credit scene. That’s because Kenneth Branagh knew that this was supposed to be viewed at as being sad a hopeless, not some awesome upbeat battle.

Thor 2 on the other hand, is exactly that. Thor has known Malekith for.. what? 2 days? Maybe 3? His relationship and dynamic with Malekith is different than with his brother. To Thor, this is just another enemy attacking Asgard. And I’m not sure whether this was intentional or not (because I remember reading somewhere how Allen Taylor had a bitch of a time in the editing process so I think the movie came out different than he intended) but the lack of any personal relationship will Malekith means the film can make really funny jokes and still have it fit with the film. If anything, I might even argue that the humor helped the film to maintain a very nice positive vibe. Idk I can’t think of the right words to explain it but the jokes actually fit the film very well.

However, then we move on to Ragnarok. With Ragnarok, Thor is fighting his sister. While (just like Malekith) he has only known her for two days, that still doesn’t take away the fact that he is having to fight his sibling. And I’m not a film director but if I had the option of approaching this situation and taking it the Thor 1 route or the the Thor 2 route, I’d go with Thor 1. Because it’s actually incredibly tragic that Hela has been driven to insanity like Loki (though ok a different level) due to Odin’s shitty parenting. She is the horrible way she is because Odin made her that way. And that could’ve been an AMAZINGLY complex story with the audience feeling so much sympathy for Hela like we did with Loki in Thor 1, but the narrative just falls flat for two reasons. 1) Taika admitted he didn’t want the film to be emotionally complex so 2) The humor in the climax completely detracts from the seriousness of the situation.

Also, some side notes: Yes, this is edited from the original. I accidentally deleted everything and then had to go back and add everything back in. So I also had to re-tag people too. And I also added a bit more explanation at the end. I meant to do so when I originally posted but it never got done till now. Sry. Also sry that it’s so long

[mybiasisexo]

Vessel

Genre: Angst | Superpower!au | Highschool!au | OT12

Pairing: Kai x OC (?), Kris x OC (?)

Length: 21.6k

Warning: Unfinished | Language | Violence | OC

Summary: Rayna disappeared out of nowhere on her 16th birthday, and just as quickly as she vanished, she reappeared, but is obviously different.

Author’s Note: This really could’ve been my legacy if I could actually write a chaptered story. instead I lost speed and had no idea wtf was going to happen next. Sad thing is, I know exactly how it’s going to end. it’s the middle that killed me :/. Plus, I think it might come off a bit sexist, which wasn’t my intention!!! But rereading it im like hmm. I wrote this shit in 2013!!!! TWENTY THIRTEEEEEEEN!!! So it’s kinda dated. I’m proud of it, nonetheless haha

MASTERLIST

Chapter One: Return

The school bell rings, informing the students of Gryphon High to report to class. However, four young men hover in front of the campus while the other students run to their various destinations.

When the coast is clear, one of the boys clears his throat, “what is it, Kris?”

Kris is leaning on the building, staring intently at his feet when the tall boy asks him the question. He takes a deep breath and meets his gaze, “I saw her.”

The three other boys look at him with confusion. 

“Her?” the shortest member asks, his thick eyebrows crunch together.

Kris nods, “she’s returned…Rayna.”

The boys gasp. 

“Are you sure it was her?” the one who was mostly silent questions.

“Yes, Suho. I’d recognize her if I were blind. It’s her. She’s back.”

“But,” the shorter one counters. “How? Why?”

Kris shakes his head, “I’m not sure, Kyungsoo. But whatever the reason, it cannot be good.”

The taller boy stares at the cracked cement floor, “does Kai know?”

Kris shakes his head again and shrugs, “I’m not sure, Chanyeol, but if he doesn’t yet, he will soon enough.”

Chanyeol shakes his head with pity. “Poor Kai.”

~*~

Kai is leaning back in his chair, his arms resting behind his head. The teacher is late and the class is taking advantage of her absence. Paper airplanes soar across the room, a group of kids are dancing in the back corner, a couple near the door are making out—Kai glanced at them once to see them exchange gum… he hasn’t looked in that direction since. He is relaxing, enjoying the time during school where he didn’t have to pay attention. This is the only class he didn’t have with any other of his friends, and he is grateful. As of lately, his group of friends have been treating him like a time bomb. They never know how to approach him, and whenever they talk to him, they are always very cautious of what comes out of their mouths.

It’s getting annoying.

Kai is fine. It had been, what, six months since her disappearance? More than enough time to get over her, more than enough time to realize and accept the fact that she is never going to come back. Ever. She is gone, and he is done being upset about that fact. He is finally better.

Much to Kai’s dismay, the inevitable happens, and the door to his classroom opens. His teacher, Ms. Taylor, click-clacks into the room, someone trailing in slowly behind her to the front of the room.

Ms. Taylor turns and waits for her class of students to rush back to their seats. Kai spots from the corner of his eyes, the boyfriend of the gum-swapping couple choke on said gum, he can’t help but grin a bit.

“Alright, class,” Ms. Taylor begins. “Now that you are all situated, I’d like to apologize for being late—although it seems you all were doing fine without me—I had to get the new student and show her around.”

Ms. Taylor motions her hands towards the girl and Kai freezes. What the…? It couldn’t be.

“Everyone, I’d like you to meet Rayna Carter. She’s a transfer student from Highland High.”

“Isn’t that an all-girl school?” a guy near the back asks. Ms. Taylor smiles and nods. She then begins to explain the school’s history and statistics and other boring topics, but Kai doesn’t hear a word of it over the loud ringing in his ears.

Look at me, he internally begs, staring intently at Rayna. Please, look at me! As if she heard him, her head snaps up and her eyes lock solidly with his. He is taken aback, her expression is void of any emotion. Her eyes... they appear dead.

What he does spot in her eyes, for only a millisecond, is recognition. It is a short spark, but he catches it none the less. He feels his chest heave as she returns her gaze back on the teacher. Kai takes this time to study her. Her hair, which once floated down to her hips, now brushes rigidly against her collar bones. Her face, which was once round and open, is thin, sharp, and blank.

She stands in such a way that makes her appear taller than what she is, her caramel colored skin still glows underneath her school uniform, but her soft features have hardened, sharpened. She appears to be a whole other person. If it were not for her name, Kai would have thought he had gotten her mixed up with somebody else.

“Alright, why don’t you take a seat, Rayna?”

Rayna nods once and trudges to her new desk, which just so happens to be diagonally ahead of Kai. He can feel her presence, even while he stares ahead of himself or down at his own desk. Her presence distracting him from everything. He can’t stop all of the questions that whirl around in his head like a wild tornado. Why was she here? Where had she been? Why does she look like that? Why won’t she acknowledge me?

He is getting upset, and the time ticks by torturously. Tormenting him with every slight move of the hand. Finally, the bell rings, and it takes everything in him not to just “pop” out of that room.

He has to find the others.

~*~

Chanyeol unbuttons his navy blue blazer and loosens his red, white, and blue stripped tie as he approaches the cafeteria. Today is an exceptionally humid day, and he curses the school for making them wear long khaki pants and a thick blazer to boot. He decides to take off his blazer in general and slugs it lazily over his shoulder, noticing how the girls around him react to his actions. He smirks and winks at one of them as he opens the doors and enters the wonderfully air conditioned lunch room.

While he is in line, he spots his best friend, Baekhyun, approach him. Chanyeol smiles hugely until he notices his troubled expression.

“What’s up?” Chanyeol asks him, rubbing his shorter friend’s back.

Baekhyun shakes his head slowly, lost in thought. “I saw… someone today. At least, I think it was her…”

Uh-oh, Chanyeol thinks. He averts his gaze and drops his hand.

Baekhyun doesn’t notice, “I’m crazy right? There’s no way she’s back. It just doesn’t make sense… but I’m positive I saw her…”

“You’re not crazy,” Chanyeol’s deep voice rumbles Baek out of his reverie.

He blinks up at him, “I’m not?”

Chanyeol shakes his head sadly, “no. Kris said he saw her earlier also.”

Baek takes a shaky breath, “what does this mean?”

Chanyeol shrugs, “maybe she missed us.”

“I don’t know… She looked different.”  

“Different how?” Chanyeol asks as he grabs a tray and piles heaps of food onto it.

Baek sighs, “I don’t think I can explain… it’s something you just have to see yourself. She’s changed though, that’s for sure.”

They are silent as they join the others at their usual table. Everyone’s expressions are wary. Chanyeol is the only one who is eating.

“What’s up with everyone?” he asks. “Is it about Rayna?”

They all nod. “Have you all seen her?” He asks. They nod again.

He pouts, “That means I’m the only one who hasn’t yet…”        

At that moment , Kai comes running into the lunch room. He runs to the table and sits next to Chanyeol, trying to catch his breath.

Once caught, he looks at all of them, “she’s back! Rayna’s back!”

He catches all their expressions and quiets down. “Oh, you already know, huh?”

They nod somberly in reply.

“She’s in my fourth. She sits right in front of me.”

“Did she say anything to you?” Another at the table, Lay, asks.

Kai is silent for a while, “no.”

Chanyeol bites his lip and looks away. He ends up looking at the doors and they open up. A darker girl walks in and slithers to the line. It is her, it is Rayna. Watching her, he can see why everyone is so upset. The Rayna he knew was always smiling and laughing and joking around. She had a twinkle in her eyes that never disappeared, even when she was upset. She definitely never walked like that, all sluggish and nonchalant. She would be practically skipping, an arm casually wrapped around one of the member’s own.

He quickly snaps his head back to his tray, but it is too late. Kai notices him looking at something and follows his gaze, along with the others. They stare at Rayna as she slowly makes her way through the line, grabbing only a water and an apple. She stops when she pays and scans the cafeteria. Before her eyes even hit their table, she takes a step towards them, but stops herself. For a moment, it is as if she remembers, like muscle memory. but that is a different Rayna. She quickly turns and leaves the room and all eight boys let out a breath.

“That was close,” the eldest of their group, Xiumin, states.

Kai glares at him, but doesn’t say anything.

“Why?” Kyungsoo asks again. “Why is she back?”

Kris answers him with the same answer as last time, “I’m not sure, Soo.”

“We should at least be happy that we know she is here,” Lay speaks. “That she is alive and in no danger. We should at least be grateful.”

“I am grateful for that,” Kai snaps through clenched teeth. “I’ve been worried sick for six months, I’m more than grateful.”

Lay sadly averts his eyes down to his tray, “but does that change anything?”

Kai can’t answer that question. He tries to swallow the ball forming in his throat, “I can’t be here anymore. I can’t breathe.”

He rises to leave. “I’ll go with you,” Baekhyun says, getting up. Kai is about to refuse the offer, until he realizes Baek is hurting just as much as he is.

“Alright,” he looks at the others, “see you guys at the usual spot?”

“Six on the dot,” Kris says with a reassuring nod.

~*~

Kai and Baekhyun walk along the deserted train tracks. Baek down the middle, Kai balancing on a rail.

“Do you think she’ll come home?” Kai asks him, his gaze focuses in front of him.

Baek readjusts the strap of his backpack on his shoulder, “no. I have a feeling that this Rayna doesn’t have a place to call home.”

“How has your family been since…?”

Baek looks at the broken tracks, “my mother is crushed, but her father…” He shakes his head, “he’s almost as dead as he believes her to be.”

Kai nods, “are you going to tell them?”

“I’m not sure yet. I think I’ll give it a week or two until we find out what’s really going on. Then, I’ll tell them whatever needs to be revealed.”

“That’s fair. Should we stop over there? I haven’t seen your parents in months.” Since she disappeared.

Baek nods, “that would be nice. I know they miss you, they miss all you guys.”

“Yeah? Maybe we should just meet there instead.”

“That’s not a bad idea.”

They arrive at the house. Only Baek’s mother is there, with his 6 month old sister, Baekyeon.

“Oh, Baek, you’re home early,” his mother jumps when she sees him. Her eyes widen even more when the handsome Kai trails in behind him. “Oh! Kai! How have you been?”

Kai takes in her smile, it is so big it borders on a grimace. He internally winces, “I have been just fine, Mrs. Carter. Totally swamped with school work.”

“Oh, I bet. Junior year is the hardest of them all.” Sansu begins to whimper and Mrs. Carter dismisses herself to care for her youngest daughter.

“The rest of the gang will be coming over later, if that’s alright,” Baekhyun calls from the stairs.

“That’s fine, dear. I’ll bake some cookies!”        

“Your room hasn’t changed much,” Kai mentions once the two settle in Baek’s room, looking around. He smiles as memories come to him of all the times he spent in this room, the good and the bad.

“I know. I want to change it. I mean, I’m seventeen years old and I still have glow in the dark stars on my ceiling and rocket themed bed sheets. But, every time I’m about to, something tells me not to.”

Kai nods with understanding, “but change is good also.”

“Change is what I need.”

“Hey, I’ll come over this weekend and we can look for new bed sheets and paint and what not.”

“Lord, you sound like my girlfriend.”

“That’s one thing you do not have, Bacon.”      

They laugh.

“What does her room look like?” Kai whispers.

Baekhyun gulps, “I haven’t been in there in months. I know her father goes in there every other weekend and cleans it out. Sometimes he lets Baekyeon play in there, but they are the only ones that go in there. It’s like him and my mother have this silent agreement: since it’s his child, and not hers, only he is allowed in there. I don’t know if that’s what it is really like between them, but that’s what I get out of it.”

“How?”

“Well,” Baekhyun shifts uncomfortably. “Sometimes, late at night or when David is gone, I hear my mom crying outside of her door. She never goes in, she just kneels in front of it, resting a hand and her forehead on it.”

“She must really love her,” Kai murmurs.

Baek nods, “like she gave birth to her. In my mother’s eyes, Rayna is as much of a daughter to her as I am her son. She used to call us The Twins when we were younger. We even had matching clothing.”

“I remember,” Kai smiles briefly.

“This place is so empty now. There was a brief time I thought my parents were going to split up. Sometimes I think the only thing holding them together is Baekyeon.”

“I doubt that. They truly love each other, Rayna’s disappearance couldn’t do anything but put a small dent into that love.”

“I guess…”

Kai decides to change the subject, “your mom’s really making cookies. I can smell them.”

A grin slowly forms on Baek’s face, “she’s very true to her word, Kai-Kai.”

“No, do not call me that,” he shudders.

Baek’s smile widens, “why not, Kai-Kai? Aren’t you a little baby?”

“No. I am a grown man. Now, let’s go see if those cookies are done yet!”

“Now that’s a very manly thing to say,” Baekhyun teases as he follows Kai downstairs.

~*~

“I think I like your place better than the usual spot,” Xiumin states as he grabs his ninth cookie and shoves it in his mouth, chewing loudly.

“I second that,” Chanyeol agrees, holding up his glass of milk in a toast.

“These cookies are amazing, Mrs. Carter,” Kris smiles warmly at the older woman and she blushes.

“Why thank you, Kris. Would you like to know what the secret ingredient is?” He nods eagerly and she leans in, “the blood of bad little boys.”

His eyes widen and she laughs hysterically.

“Isn’t it supposed to be love?” Baekhyun frowns. His mom only winks and walks out of the kitchen.

“She is so cute!” Xiumin gushes as he stands behind Lay who bouncing Baekyeon in his lap, singing to her and she is gurgling like a fountain. “She has your smile, Baeks.”

“The smile that kills,” Baek nods with approval and gives Baekyeon a thumb’s up. “Don’t break as many hearts as I have, Baekyeon, it only causes trouble.”

The rest of the group is silent, staring at him.

“What?” He asks self-consciously.

“I can’t even count on one hand the amounts of hearts you have broken, Baekhyun,” Kyungsoo says.

“You’re one to talk!” Baek retorts as everyone laughs.

“Right? Aren’t you confusing yourself with Kris?” Suho asks, nudging Kris, who just rolls his eyes.

“Let’s just get to the point,” Baek bristles, his face turning a bright red.

“Alright,” Lay places Baekyeon on the ground and they head up to Baek’s room.

When the door is closed firmly, they all huddle around the center of the room.

“Alright, has anyone used their powers at all this week?” Suho asks, pulling out a notebook.

They are all quiet, shaking their heads no. Well, except Chanyeol, he bites his lip and stares intently down at the ground.

“Yeollie?” Kris asks. “Is there anything you’d like to share?”

Chanyeol pouts, “Okay, okay. I used my power, but it was because I got a cold coffee and so I heated it up. That’s it, I swear!”

Kris sighs, but Suho nods understandably and scribbles the date next to Chanyeol’s name on a page of the notebook. “Anyone else?”

“Nope,” they all assure and Suho closes the book he is holding.

“Now that that’s all out of the way, we need to address the whole Rayna thing,” Kris informs.

“What is there to discuss?” Kai asks.

“Well, are we going to approach her? Are we going to inform Baek’s parents? Is she going to be a threat to us? We need answers.”

“When it comes to my parents, I’ve decided to wait a week or two before revealing anything,” Baek reveals.

Kris nods, “That’d understandable.”

“Do you think it would be wise to approach her?” Kyungsoo asks, biting his lip with worry.

Lay speaks up, “if she doesn’t come to us, it is the only way we will be able to talk to her. She owes us an explanation.”

“That’s true,” Xiumin agrees. “You don’t disappear for six whole months and magically come back without at least explaining to your best friends where you went and what happened to you. She has to know how worried we were. What her leaving did to us.”

“So when should we confront her?” Chanyeol asks nervously.

Kai butts in, “you guys act as if we are going to kidnap or beat her up. It can’t be that way. Rayna at this moment is like a scared dog. We have to approach her slowly, we can’t just gang up on her.”

“We could use our powers though,” Kyungsoo points out.

“Only if push comes to shove and we have no other choice,” Suho counters.

“I think we should make both an A and B plan,” Lay offers. “Maybe plan A is one of us comes up to her and tries to talk to her and if she doesn’t comply than plan B would be us using our powers and forcing her to confess.”

“I don’t know,” Kai says hesitantly. “Can that be Plan C and Plan B can be something less… violent?”

“Rayna has changed,” Kris says sternly. “Just by looking at her, I can tell she would fight back. We need to get in and get out. I think I have a plan.”

With a deep breath, he looks at Kai, “I need you to be strong tomorrow.”

Kai gulps, “me?”

Chapter Two: Answers

“She’s gonna punch me in the face,” Kai states nervously to Baekhyun as he fixes his tie. “She’s gonna laugh at me and then she’s gonna punch me in the face.”

“No she’s not,” Baek rolls his eyes. “At least, she won’t if you follow instructions. Don’t show too much emotions, alright? You’ll break.”

“So… I’m just going to be seductive ol’ Kai, correct?”

“Correct. You know what to do if she doesn’t want to listen or comply.”

“I don’t like this,” Kai admits.

Baek smiles sadly, “none of us want for it to turn violent and I honestly don’t think it will. We’re just keeping our guard up. We’re just expecting the worst. Now, take a deep breath.”

Kai does as he is told and straightens out his shoulders.

“Good luck, don’t choke,” Baek encourages as the bell rings. He pats Kai’s shoulder and disappears behind him.

“Don’t choke, don’t choke,” Kai murmurs to himself as he walks into the class he shares with Rayna. He notices she is already in her seat and trips over a desk, quickly catching himself.

“Don’t choke, don’t choke,” his whispers quicken as he practically runs to his seat.

Focusing to the lecture is a lost cause for him. The only thing he is focusing on is the plan Kris thrust onto his shoulders. Why couldn’t it have been someone else? Rayna always listened to Baekhyun, why not him? She always loved to be around Chanyeol, why not him? She always took Lay’s logic to heart, why not him? The only connection she had with Kai was the feel of his lips on hers, and that was only for a month and a half. Sixty days of pure bliss, sixty days of love. Sixty days of feeling her body in ways Kai had only dreamed of be—

No, Kai, focus. Get in and get out. That’s what Kris kept telling him this morning. ‘If she doesn’t listen, bring her to the spot. We’ll be waiting there until the middle of lunch and then we’ll assume you did your job by yourself and return. If not, we will take care of the rest’.

What does Kris even mean by ‘take care of the rest’?” It doesn’t sound pretty, but Kai has to admit, he wants answers. He wants to know what caused his girlfriend of a month and a half to vanish without a goodbye to anybody. She didn’t even leave a note. After three months of looking, everyone just assumed the worst and gave up. There was a funeral for her and everything. But as Kai glances at her, he can tell that the funeral wasn’t for nothing. Rayna is dead, this girl in front of him is a corpse, an empty shell. At least that’s what he keeps telling himself.

Unlike the day before, class goes by fast. The bell rings and his heart falters as he watches Rayna stand up, fix her uniform shirt, collect her bag and trudge out, her movements slow and precise.

When she is out the door, he runs after her. He catches up to her and snatches her wrist, dragging her to a stop.

“Wait, please,” he doesn’t mean to sound so needy. Keep your emotions in check, geeze, Kai, she isn’t even looking at you yet! He gulps and tightens his grip on her wrist as she slowly turns around.

Those eyes that once held love and happiness only holds the reflection of the lights overhead.

“Yes, Kai?” Her voice is just as dull as her expression, but that doesn’t stop his heart from hammering in his chest.

“Uh… We—we need to talk.”

“I need to get to class.”

“But it’s lunch time…”

“Your point, Kai?”

“Can we talk later then?” He asks, hope filling his voice.

She stares at him for a minute, sizing him up, “no.”

“Then it has to be done now,” he says stiffly.

“No, it doesn’t. Let go of me, Kai.”

“Stop,” he growls, leaning closer to her. “Stop saying my name.”

“Why?” she asks, the corner of her mouth slowly curling into a smirk.

Kai takes a breath and glares down at her. Is she mocking him?

“If you don’t comply with me, I’ll take matters into my own hands, Rayna. You know I can.”

“I do not know anything about you taking charge, Kai. I said I’m not going, let go of me before I take matters into my hands.”

They stare at each other for a while, challenging the other to do something. Kai is beyond furious, the fact that she is toying with him, it broke his heart and only left anger to burn.

“You’ve given me no choice,” he whispers. He wraps his arms around her and rests his forehead in the crook of her neck. She is about to punch him in the gut before the two of them are suddenly somewhere else.

She shoves him away. “How dare you teleport me! Who do you think you are?” She charges towards him, about to hit him, when four pairs of hands grab her. They drag her to a chair sitting in the middle of the deserted warehouse they are in.

“Let go of me!” She hollers as they shove her down and tie her hands and legs. “What is wrong with you guys?”

Kris comes up to Kai and pats his shoulder, “good work.”

Kai locks eyes with him and Kris quickly walks away, ashamed to have seen the broken look in Kai’s.

Finally, Rayna calms down. Her chest still violently rising and falling but she wasn’t trying to escape anymore. “I’m not mad anymore. You guys can come out now.”

Slowly, one by one, the eight men appear before her. She eyes them, a small smile on her lips.

“The gangs all here,” she sneers and laughs bitterly.

“Rayna…” Baekhyun starts, taking a step forward. He stops when he spots the way her head snaps to his foot, staring at it as if she was going to eat it.

“Brother,” she murmurs, slowly dragging her eyes up his body to reach his eyes. He gulps and tries to hold back the shudders that run up and down his spine.

“I missed you,” he finally says. “The whole house misses you. I’m glad that you’re back now, Rayna.”

“Save it,” she hisses and looks to the guy next to him. “Channie. You’re not smiling, that’s quite a sight to see.”

“Well, I’ve been worried sick about you. We all have. Why would I be smiling?” He snaps bitterly.

“Because,” and she smiles brightly, causing tears to form in his eyes, “I’m back now.”

Her eyes shift to the guy beside him “Lay. The kind one. Are you still dishing out philosophical advice, oh wise master?”

“I have advice for you, Rayna, if you’re still willing to listen.”

“I’m not so sure I am. Sorry.” She moves to the next one. “Chubby Xiumin. Looks like you’re not so chubby anymore, aye?”

“I guess not,” he mutters, hating the nickname.

“Prince Suho, still making the rest of them bow down to you?”

“Only you, princess,” he counters with a grin. 

“Big eyed Kyungsoo. My awkward D.O, how have you been?”

“Surviving,” he squeaks out and looks down at his feet. No one but Rayna calls him D.O and the fact that she remembered does something to him. It unnerves him.

“Kai, we’ve already got quite acquainted earlier, I believe. You look as handsome as ever.”

Kai clenches his teeth, fighting both a hot comeback and tears.

“And then there’s my lovely Kris. Still breaking hearts?”

“Only yours, baby.”

Her smile falls, “I find that hard to believe.”

She leans back in her chair, “well, now that we’ve all reintroduced ourselves, let’s get down to business. What do you guys want?”

Suho steps up, “what we want is very simple, Rayna. We just want to know something.”

“What is it?” She asks, her voice never raising past indifference.

“Why did you leave?”

She sighs, “You guys were always so sappy. You know, for a group of boys, you sure acted like girls. I swear I was the manliest out of the group.”

“Oh yeah, definitely,” Kris agrees sarcastically. “That explains the frilly bright pink dresses you used to always wear. Let us not forget the flowers you used to wrap in your hair. Very manly.”

“Of course you wouldn’t forget what I used to wear. I bet you fantasized about doing things to those clothes… if you know what I mean.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“And you’re pathetic.”

They are silent, their eyes slits as they stare menacingly at one another.

“Rayna… please?” Baekhyun begs, causing Kris and Rayna’s stare down to come to an end. “We need to know. You owe us that much.”

“I don’t owe anyone shit.”

“Oh, you don’t?” Kai asks. His anger beyond his control. “When you disappeared, we were in a relationship. If you owe anyone an explanation it has to be your boyfriend.”

“And I am your brother, family deserves an explanation as well.”

Everyone is silent as Rayna stares them down. Finally, she lets out a breath and shrugs, “fine. If you pansies really want to know so damn badly, I’ll tell you why I had to leave. Better yet, I’ll show you.”

Their eyes widen with shock and fear, show them? What does Rayna have up her sleeve?

They watch as she slowly lowers her head, it looks as if she is falling asleep. When her chin presses against her chest, there is a soft rumbling sound that resonates through the rusty building. Suddenly, all of the furniture and appliances lying around rise up into the air and hover. The lights start flickering and with the sharp rise of her head, everything falls back down with a loud bang.

The boys’ gaze whip back to Rayna with fear. Her head twitches painfully from side to side for a minute until finally she lowers her head down again from exhaustion.

“You…” Chanyeol whispers. “You have powers?”

“Surprise,” she breathes, trying to regain her breath.

“But…” Kyungsoo starts. “You’re a girl?”

She lifts her head to look at him, “how observant of you.”

“You know what Kyungsoo is trying to say,” Kris snaps. “Only males receive powers. That’s how it always has been.”

“Au contraire, women can also receive powers, as slim as it may be.”

“And here you are,” Suho breathes with awe. “One of the blessed.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” Rayna mutters, trying to readjust her uncomfortable position.

“What does that have to do with you leaving?” Baek asks her. “If anything, you could have come to us, you could have told us. You know we would have helped you!”

She shakes her head, “it’s different, a girl with powers. I was scared, and I needed answers.”

“We could have helped you,” Baek repeats, deflated. He can’t believe what has become of his step-sister. A girl with powers? It is unheard of, and yet here she is, making things levitate.

“How?” Rayna asks. Her voice isn’t full of emotion, but merely curious. “What would you eight have done? You guys have always felt superior because of these gifts. You had this exclusive club that I was always on the border of. If you had found out that I had powers too, you would have shunned me. I was never one of the boys, as much as I tried.”

“That—that’s not true, Rayna!” Xiumin objects. “We loved having you around!”

“Yeah,” she agrees. “Before you all turned sixteen and gained these awesome powers. Then you only hung out with me during school.”

“No,” Chanyeol shakes his head. “That’s not right.”

“It’s not?” Rayna asks, lifting an eyebrow. “Because I remember on many occasions when I started following you guys after school and you or Baekhyun would hold me back and tell me ‘not today.’”

The boys are silent.

“I was already gone before I left. You all had pushed me away.”

“No,” Kai snaps. “Not all of us.”

Rayna sighs and looks up at the ceiling.

“You were gone for six months,” Suho begins. “Where did you go?”

Rayna gazes at them, her eyes are a solid black color that creeps them out and her nose and the corner of her mouth are starting to bleed. “I told you I needed answers. I went searching for them.”

“But something happened to you,” Lay points out. “You have changed greatly. You’re like a whole different person.”

“That’s the power,” Rayna smiles and sinks in her chair, seeming to bask in the gift she held. Chanyeol watches in disgust as she opens her mouth in a content sigh, and the blood from her nose drips into it. “It feeds me, it makes me… more powerful, as lame as that sounds.”

“I don’t understand,” Suho presses.

“I don’t think you would. The reason why there are less powerful women is because the power affects us differently than it does men.”

“What does it do?” Chanyeol whispers. Rayna just shrugs, closing her eyes.

“Rayna?” Kris barks. No response. “Rayna!”

“Kris!” Suho snaps. “She’s sleeping.”

“That bitch,” Kris mutters, his hands ball into tight fists.

“Don’t call her that,” Kai chastises halfheartedly.

“Don’t act like that,” Kris counters back. He storms out the building, punching the wall as he leaves.

Suho sighs when he is gone, “he’s using his power. I can feel it.”

“He needs to blow off steam,” Lay says. “That’s the only way he knows how.”

“Plus, did you hear the way she was talking to him?” Kyungsoo points out. “I’d be furious with her also.”

“Yeah, that was weird,” Chanyeol states, staring at Rayna’s bloody face.

“She’s changed so much,” Baekhyun says quietly. “Yet, I feel like we are at fault for it.”

“We weren’t the ones that gave her powers,” Xiumin defends. “That power is doing this to her… We need more answers.”

“Where are we going to get them from?” Lay asks.

Suho purses his lips, “from the very person who helped us understand what these things are. Chanyeol, untie her. We’ll leave the door open for when she wakes up.”

Chanyeol sighs. “I’m sorry, Rayna,” he whispers as he bends down to untie her wrists.

~*~

Kris flies over the city, embracing the icy pain hitting his face from soaring so high. Nothing clears his head more than being up in the air, flying through clouds, hovering over the earth. It feels like a respite, a soft break from reality. He feels as if he could fly away from every problem he ever had.

But Rayna was a problem that was chasing him, trailing right behind him, and he hates it.

He hates her for coming back at such a time. For acting like someone different than the Rayna that used to follow him around like a lost puppy. He doesn’t want to, but one of his fondest memories of her pops into his head, replying and scratching and jumping to different parts, playing at different angles, all ending the same.

One year ago…

The sun was shining, there wasn’t a cloud in sight. The boys and Rayna decided to take advantage of the fresh air and held a picnic at the park. Kris was sitting quietly by a tree, leaning against it, feeling the soft breeze rustle his hair.

“What are you up to?” a soft feminine voice asked him.

He grinned, keeping his eyes closed, “pretending I’m up there instead of leaning against this damned tree.”

He heard her sigh and felt another body sit next to him.

“You’re lucky,” she began wistfully. “Out of all the powers so far, I think yours is the best.”

“You do?” he asked with surprise. He thought she loved Xiumin’s power the most, she was always asking him to freeze her drinks or help her melting ice cream. He peeked through his lashes enough to see her nod enthusiastically.

“I think it’s everyone’s dream to fly like a bird. To see the world from their point of view, to rest on clouds…”

He chuckled, “you can’t sit on a cloud, you silly girl.”

She shrugged, “all the same. Yours is my favorite.”

“If you could have a power, what would you want?” He asked her quietly.

She was silent for a while. For such a long time that Kris opened up his eyes and looked down at her. She was staring at the sky intently, thinking about her answer seriously, a finger resting thoughtfully on her chin. Kris stared at her glowing tan skin, watched the way her wavy brown hair swam back from her face as the wind blew it. She was wearing a white summer dress and the golden locket the boys bought her for her fifteenth birthday. Kris hadn’t seen her without it since.

“I think I’d want to fly also,” she whispered. “That way, we could fly together,” her cheeks turned pink as she stared at a row of ants beside her.

Kris smirked. He knew Rayna had a crush on him since forever, he thought it was cute, but he never saw her that way. She was as much a little sister to him as she was to Baekhyun. “Maybe…I’ll take you flying one day.”

Her head snapped up to meet his serious gaze. Her eyes wide with surprise and hope, “really?”

“Of course. If it’s the power you want, I’ll help you get it, even if it’s for a little while.”

She smiled and bit her lip and Kris had to admit he liked her reaction. She stretched her arms out in front of her and sighed, “That would be amazing. Thank you.”

“When should we go?”

“Um…” she thought again. “Maybe on my sixteenth birthday? That way, it will really feel like my power.”

“But that’s not for a while, Rayna.”

She shrugged and shook her head, “I can wait. You know I can.”

He heard the double meaning in her sentence and was taken aback. It was the most bitter she’s ever sounded, even though her tone was light and she was smiling softly, the twinkle in her eyes never faltering.

“Anyways,” she continued. “I’m craving some watermelon. Would you like some, Kris?”

He shook his head, “I’m fine, thank you.”

She stood up and brushed her backside, “okay. Don’t forget your birthday gift for me!”

“I won’t,” he whispered as he watched her bouncing frame approach the blanket and the rest of the boys.

Kris blinks back the tears forming in his eyes. Everything Rayna said to him today, it was cruel. She stabbed him every time she opened her mouth, and her eyes were unforgiving.

He has to admit though, deep down, that he deserves everything she threw at him.

~*~

“Here we are,” Suho chimes. The seven boys are standing in front of a small cottage on the outskirts of town.

Chanyeol sighs, “I can’t believe we’re back here.”

The others nod.

“Do you think it’s fair to do this without Kris?” Kyungsoo asks.

“He has a lot to worry about already,” Suho dismisses. “We can inform him about it later.” With that, he takes a deep breath and knocks on the thick wooden door. In a matter of seconds, it creaks open and an average looking middle-aged man stands on the opposite side.

His eyes widen with surprise, “Suho? What brings you guys?”

“Mr. Black,” Suho greets. “Something strange has happened and we really need some type of understanding.”

Mr. Black takes in all of their expressions, all are set on different stages of despair. He nods and steps back, “very well, come in.”

His home is cozy and warm. The fireplace is lit, warming the frozen boys’ hands and toes. Mr. Black reappears from the kitchen with cups of warm tea.

Once everyone is thawed out, Mr. Black gazes at them expectantly.

Suho is the one to begin, “Sir, do you remember our female friend? The one that would always tag along with us?”

Mr. Black nods, “the one that disappeared?” They all nod in confirmation. “What of her?”

“Well,” Kyungsoo starts. “She’s returned to us.”

“Really?” Mr. Black lifts an eyebrow.

“Yeah, but you see,” Baekhyun begins. “She’s different… Something’s changed within her.”

“How so?”

“Well… She has… powers.”

“Powers?” Mr. Black is intrigued.

Kyungsoo nods, “She’s a girl with powers. We came here because we need to know how. I thought only guys can get powers.”

Mr. Black nods and takes a long sip of his tea. He places it back down and folds his hands in front of him, “alright. I think it’s time for a story.”

He takes a deep breath, “I had a friend twenty years ago. She was a close friend of mine, we had known each other when we were younger, until I moved when I was twelve. Ten years later, we had bumped into each other and rekindled that relationship.

“She told me once that our meeting was not by accident. She told me that she had felt my presence, like a strong tugging, beckoning her towards me. We became very close. We became roommates and later, lovers. I cherished her. I loved her so much that I even told her about my power, and she accepted me completely. I never knew love like that before…”

Kai holds his breath, knowing the ending of this story isn’t going to be pretty.

“After two years of being together, things were going good. She had a job that required her to travel a lot, so we didn’t see each other often, but whenever we did, it was wonderful. She loved me and opened herself up completely to me, well, that was what I had thought....

“I was going to propose to her. I had bought the ring and was going to do it that night. When I had arrived to our apartment, I knew something wasn’t right. When I walked in, the place was a disaster. Glass was everywhere, the furniture was ripped to shreds, and our television looked like someone punched a hole in it. The further into the house I went, the worse the destruction. Finally, I arrived into our room. Clothes were strung out over the floor, the pictures on the walls and dresser were broken and thrown everywhere, there were holes all over the walsl. And in the center of all this chaos sat my girlfriend. She sat on the floor—because our bed was torn in half and pushed up against the wall—rocking back and forth, her eyes shut. She kept murmuring to herself and it wasn’t until I was knelt in front of her that I understood. She kept saying, ‘don’t hurt him’ over and over. She had scratch marks all over her arms and face and she was bleeding everywhere.

“I told her to look at me, but she wouldn’t reply to me. She just kept whispering, ‘don’t hurt him, don’t hurt him.’ Finally, I dragged her to the bathroom and placed her in the shower, watching it drench her clothes, she didn’t respond. That was until I tried to pry her arms away from her. Suddenly, her eyes opened and she gazed up at me with a blank expression. She had blonde hair that brushed along her jaw and small sharp features. She was a beautiful woman, but at that moment, she had never looked more terrifying. Her eyes were solid black and beady. Nearly her entire eye was black, I could only see a sliver of white. She stared at me intently and didn’t say a word.

“As frightened as I was, I used this time to strip her of her wet clothes. She was like a rag doll, she let me move her however I wanted. When I had her in only her underwear, I examined her body for anymore scratches, and to my relief, found none. When I was reassured, I finally took her out of the shower, put a towel around her and placed her on the destroyed couch. I went back to our bedroom and snatched the first giant shirt I could find and returned to her. After I put her shirt on for her, I sat in front of her and grasped her hands in mine and asked her the dreaded question… ‘What happened?’

“She stared down at my face, at the tears springing into my eyes, and smiled, ‘nothing.’ I shook my head and looked around, ‘obviously that is not true. Did something happen at work? Did someone break into our home? What happened?’ She only grinned at me, her eyes still as black as they were in the shower. ‘I may have lost control…’ When her words hit me, I felt chills run throughout my body. And fear, I was terrified. ‘What did you do’ I whispered and she giggled and leaned into me, ‘I let my power go. I let it take control for once.’

“That’s when I finally understood what had just happened. I remember staring at her with shock. ‘Power?’ I remember asking her and she nodded and placed her index finger on my forehead, ‘just like you. I can do things too.’

“’Like what?’ I had asked her. ‘I can make things go boom with my mind.’ Chills ran down my spine and I backed away from her, hitting the broken television behind me. ‘Are you frightened?’ She asked me and I nodded. She smirked, ‘you should be.’ I blacked out after that.”

It is silent for a moment, Mr. Black allowing the boys to digest the story.

“She left. I hadn’t seen her for years, and when I finally did, she was different. It was as if the life had been sucked right out of her. She was scary skinny and her hair was tangled and greasy. She was filthy, as if she hadn’t bathed in weeks. When I saw her, I ran to her and begged for her to talk to me, to tell me what had happened that night, years ago, and after watching me breakdown in front of her, she relented and confessed everything to me. That when she was sixteen, she received her power, but it frightened her so much that she fought against it, fought to keep her mind. On the day I was going to propose, she was feeling weak and tired and depressed, and the power was beckoning her and she gave in, let it loose. She couldn’t control it though, couldn’t reign it back in like she could when she was younger, and it devoured her completely, leaving her with no choice but to embrace it—to let it become her.

“We parted ways, and that was the last time I ever saw her. I had a friend at the time whose power was being able to join minds with others and see life through their eyes, and I asked him to keep tabs on her. He hated it. She was evil, relentless. She killed without compassion and never felt anything. He always would tell me that she was cold, so cold. Finally, after two months of tracking her, he told me that she had died. Fell off a cliff. She was twenty-seven years old…

“When I found out about her death, I needed to know what the hell she was. I traveled to the mother land of the powers, a small village in South America, and asked them what they knew. This is what I found out over years of research around the world.”

He takes a deep breath, “your friend is known as a Vessel: a woman with powers. Only one in about two million women become Vessels, and the reason why is because it’s a mutation. It’s a mutation of a mutation, an extra gene in the link. As you know, men don’t use their powers often, because it ages us, the more we use the shorter our lifespan, but with women it’s different. They can use their power how many times they want, whenever they want without having to deal with aging consequences. That’s because their consequence is a lot worse than ours. Since they have a double mutation, the power takes on human-like characteristics, it’s like a parasitic drug. The woman gets addicted to the power, because it sends out endorphins with every use, causing her to feel invincible, as well as other effects most drugs have as well. As she uses her power, it also grows stronger, taking over her brain and, ultimately, controlling her, sort of like possession. This is the reason why your friend acts differently, it’s not her talking and moving and reacting—it’s her power. There is still a glimpse of the girl you once knew, but her power is slowly overpowering her mind, and if she hands over the reins willingly, which most woman end up doing, she will lose all of herself and cease to exist. She’ll become an empty shell.

“Another thing about woman’s powers is that they are ten times more powerful than a man’s. A man and a woman can have the same power, but the woman’s would be more dangerous, because of that double mutation, it’s double the power, double the strength. That’s why woman shouldn’t have powers, it’s a cause for destruction, and their powers feed off of that chaos. It ultimately leads to their destruction. Vessels never make it to thirty. Never…”

Kai grips the arms of his chair, Rayna is a monster, to put it simply.

“Is there any way they can stop it?” Baekhyun asks. “Any way that they can fight it off? Resist?”

Mr. Black frowns, “My friend—her name was Valarie—she fought her power for nearly five years, only letting it out in small bursts every other year or so. She hated her power because it was so violent. I mean, she could blow things up with just a thought! She knew how destructive she was, so she tried to restrain it. But like I said earlier, it’s like a drug, and when a vessel doesn’t use it, it’s like an addict stopping cold turkey, it won’t last long.”  

“And this is happening to our friend?” Kyungsoo asks, tears forming. Mr. Black nods. “And there’s no way we can stop her? No way we can help her?”

“There’s only one way you can help her, fellas.” He leans in and they all do as well. “You have to kill her.”

Chapter Three: The Alternative

“We can’t,” Kai whispers later that night. The boys had regrouped with Kris and headed up into the hills, camping out for a bit. They sit around the fire Chanyeol made and stare over the sparkling city. “We can’t kill her. I just… we can’t.”

The boys nod in agreement.

“I honestly don’t believe that’s the only way to help her,” Baekhyun agrees. “I think, if all else fails, we kill her, but only as a last resort.”

“Or no resort at all,” Kai continues. “I’d rather she levitated everything on the Earth into outer space before I see her not live on it anymore.”

“Kai,” Xiumin snaps. “Even if we don’t kill her. Mr. Black said Vessels don’t live to see thirty. She has an expiration date, regardless.”

Kai jumps up, “don’t you dare.”

“What?” Xiumin asks, his anger rising. The temperature drops, causing the boys’ breaths to become visible. “Don’t state a fact? Kai, you need to accept it.”

Kai leaps at him and Baekhyun, who was the closest to him, holds him back.

“What is wrong with you?” Kris snaps, causing them all to freeze.

“Xiumin knows better than to say those things—”

“No,” Kris barks. “You aren’t the only one in pain, Kai. You aren’t the only one who loves her!”

The silence becomes overwhelming. Kai stops fighting against Baek and yanks himself from his grip, spinning to Kris.

“You have a funny way of showing it,” he growls.

Kris takes a deep breath, “you need to stop acting like you have a claim over her. Yes, she was your girlfriend. Was,which means it was in the past. You need to stop letting your obsession of her cloud your logic. You know damn well that if killing Rayna is the only solution, we will execute it. You keep it up, Kai, and I will make you be the one to do it.”

“You’re full of shit,” Kai whimpers, fighting off tears. “You were relieved when she disappeared. You never once helped us search for her, and you didn’t cry at the funeral. You never gave a shit about her, Kris. Never. You just toyed with her and then left her. You are cruel.”

“Don’t ever say I never cared,” Kris says icily, moving closer to the shaking Kai. “I cared more about her than the rest of you. While you guys had given up looking for her, I was risking my life, using my power every fucking night searching for some kind of sign. Don’t you dare say I never cared.”

“That’s enough, you two,” Suho orders. The two remain in their positions. “I said that was enough!”

That snaps the two out of their silent battle, huffing as they return to their seats.

“Obviously, killing Rayna isn’t something any of us want to do,” Suho continues. “She holds a special part in all of our hearts. She was a dear friend, a little sister to us. We all love her. Seeing her, for me, it breaks my heart. I missed her so much, and being so close to her, yet so far away… well, I’m sure you all can imagine perfectly how I felt. Specially, once I heard her talk, saw her dead eyes up close, the blood…” He pauses to swallow back the ball forming in his throat. “As hard as it will be, if worse comes to worse we will do what has to be done, Kris is right about that. Until then, I think it’s wise to think of some ways to avoid that plan. Xiumin is right, she most likely might not live to see thirty, but that still gives her over ten years to wreck all kinds of havoc, and that I cannot allow. Letting her run wild is not an option.”

“Mr. Black told us that Valarie was able to control her power,” Baek mentions. “She was able to hold it back, only letting it out in small bursts from time to time. Doing that made her normal. So normal, that he didn’t even know she had a power until it was too late. If we could somehow get Rayna to see what her power is doing to her, we could get her to refrain from using it, to learn to hold it back.”

“That’s actually a really good idea, Baeks,” Suho praises him, smiling.

“What if it doesn’t work?” Chanyeol questions.

“Then we’ll return here and come up with something else. But, for now, let’s see where this on gets us.”

“How are we going to do this?” Kai asks stiffly, sniffling softly.

Baek shrugs and smiles warmly, “we’re going to treat her like we always have.”

~*~

The following Monday, Baekhyun and Chanyeol wait by the water fountain Rayna always walks past before her second period.

“We’ve been standing her for three minutes,” Chanyeol whines, kicking a locker.

“Patience,” Baek soothes. “We’ve been following Rayna around for the past three days, trying to figure her route. It’s going to take time.”

“Thank God for Kris,” Chanyeol praises. “If he hadn’t seduced the main office’s secretary to get her schedule, we probably would have still been trying to figure out what her classes were.”

“Shh,” Baek snaps, punching Chanyeol’s chest. “She’s coming.”

The two straighten up, Chanyeol rubbing his chest. When he catches her in his view, they both quickly turn towards the fountain, Baek bending down, pretending to get a drink.

Once she passes, the two speed-walk to catch up to her.

“Remember that one area at the park we used to always hang out at?” Chanyeol asks Baek louder than necessary.

Baek pretends to think, “Oh, the one that Rayna stumbled upon when we were thirteen? Yeah, we would go there practically every day after school and just lay down, letting the sun warm us.”

Chanyeol sighs, “That was the best. Rayna always seemed to stumble across the coolest things.”

“Seriously,” Baek agrees. “Even at home, she was always cooking weird food that always tasted amazing and she was always helping me with my homework. We practically never fought. She was the best.”

“Yeah, she was…”

At the same time, they check to see what Rayna is doing. She continues on in front of them as if she is unaware of their presence.

Chanyeol becomes frustrated, “do you remember our place at the park, Rayna?”

Baek’s eyes bulge as his head whips to Chanyeol, who is biting his lip expectantly.

Rayna stops walking suddenly, causing the two to bump into her. She whirls around and stares at them, “what are you doing?”

“Do you remember?” Chanyeol asks, ignoring her question.

“Of course I do. Now, what are you two doing?”

“We’re on our way to class,” Baek says, laughing nervously. The bell rings at that moment.

“Well than, get there.” With that she storms off to class.

“I think we did pretty well,” Chanyeol grins goofily causing Baekhyun to roll his eyes and laugh.

“I hope so.”

~*~

After third period ends, Xiumin and Lay scurry to what they believe to be Rayna’s locker.

“Oh no,” Xiumin says, his eyes widen.

“What is it?” Lay asks him softly.

“I don’t remember what we’re supposed to do!”

Lay rolls his eyes, “we’re just talking to her like we always did. Pretend that it’s the old Rayna and you’ll be fine.”

Xiumin nods and at the moment, Rayna walks by. She stops at the locker and cracks it open.

“Show time,” Xiumin murmurs as they approach her.

“Hey, Rayna!” Xiumin greets happily, throwing an arm around her shoulder. “How have you been?”

Her body stiffens slightly and she sighs, “Better.”

Xiumin and Lay begin to laugh like that is the funniest thing they ever heard.

“You are so funny, Rayna! We missed that,” Lay says, pretending to wipe away a tear.

“I guess…” She sighs irritably. “Now would you please release me, Xiumin?”

“Oh,” he quickly removes his arm and stumbles forward when Rayna begins to walk away.

“So, do you want to eat lunch with us today?” He continues. “It’s been so long, we have so much to catch up on, you know?”

“I don’t think I’m really up for that,” Rayna declines. “I think I’ll be just fine away from you guys.”

“But,” Lay counters. “We would really like it if you did join us. We won’t ask any questions you don’t want to answer.”

“I don’t want you guys to ask me any questions at all. Now, would you please stop harassing me?”

“But—” Lay tries to continue but stops when he is suddenly pushed back. He and Xiumin stare at Rayna’s disappearing form with shock.

“She—she just used her power on me,” Lay stutters, visibly shaking.

“I guess that’s a no,” Xiumin pouts, rubbing Lay’s form comfortingly. “C’mon, we’re going to be late.”

“She—she pushed me back. Did—did you s—see that, Xiumin?”

“I did. She’s a lot more powerful than we have been giving her credit for.”

“That was the scariest moment of my life. I almost peed my pants.”

“Well, I’m glad you didn’t. Let’s head out, shall we?”

~*~

Just like every other day, fourth period has Kai on edge. The heel of his foot taps violently against the linoleum floor as he chews nervously on a fingernail.

Maybe she isn’t coming, he thinks to himself. Baekhyun’s idea was good in theory, but now that it is his turn to interact with Rayna, he’s beginning to have some doubts.

Right as the bell rings, Rayna storms in. She stops in the front of the class and locks eyes with Kai’s, recognizing the crazy look in them. She rolls her eyes and heads over to her seat.

They have a substitute today who decides that it will be a partner day. Rayna and Kai happen to fall into a group along with two other students. The four pupils push their desks together and Rayna makes a point to sit across from Kai. The group is mostly quiet as they finish the English packet their teacher left for them.

When they are finished, the other two students’ heads move together, leaving Kai and Rayna to be awkward by themselves.

“You going to harass me also?” Rayna asks him, looking straight ahead of herself.

Kai shakes his head vigorously, “who has come up to you?”

“Chanyeol, Baekhyun, Xiumin, and Lay. I don’t know what game you guys are playing, but it’s not going to work.”

“Why not?” He asks.

She moves her head to give him a look, “isn’t it obvious?”

Kai shakes his head again. “We can help you,” he whispers, leaning closer to her.

She leans back a little, “I don’t need any help. I’m perfectly fine.”

“Can I ask you a question? Just one?”

She purses her lips as she thinks about his request, a gesture from her old life and Kai sighs softly, nostalgia overwhelming him.

“One question,” she allows.

“Who’s really in control, Rayna? You or the power? Who’s really controlling that body of yours?”  

Rayna snarls, “Me, of course. I control both myself and this power.”

“Are you sure?” Kai asks quietly, very aware of the two heads only inches away from them.

“You think you’re better than me, don’t you?” Rayna asks with a cold laugh. “What? Because I’m a woman, I can’t control my power as well as the rest of you?”

“That’s not what I meant—” Kai starts, but is interrupted.

“I’m ten times stronger than you guys. I don’t even have to think about it anymore, I can just use it.” At that moment, the desks holding their partners fly back two feet to hit the dry-erase board that is behind them. The two girls scream, pushing away from the desks and running to the front of the classroom. The substitute runs over to them, trying to calm them down long enough to find out what just happened. All the while, Rayna’s gaze never leaves Kai’s. Her eyes slowly darkening and expanding from the use of her power.

“Our eyes don’t do that after we use,” Kai mentions. “We don’t have any physical effects from using it either. It’s like a drug, isn’t it? You just want to use it more and more.”

“You’re point?” Rayna growls softly, her power’s effect hitting her. Kai watches as her eyelids flutter rapidly and her head sways back a bit.

“We stay in control, even after we use our powers… You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“That doesn’t prove anything,” she counters, her eyes going back to normal.

“No. I think it does.” The bell rings and Kai leans into her. “And, please, Rayna, don’t use your power during school. Last thing we need right now is to be exposed.”

“Bite me,” she retorts, but it doesn’t have the effect she wants, what with her being high off of her recent burst of power.

Just treat her like we used to, Baek’s words float into Kai’s head and he smirks at her, “with pleasure.” With that, he quickly walks out of the classroom, before he ends up losing it in front of her.

He meets up with the rest of the group at their usual spot in the cafeteria. None of them have food in front of them, besides Chanyeol.

“You know, not eating while being stressed isn’t the healthiest thing in the world,” Chanyeol chastises the rest of the members, rolling a green apple across the table to Xiumin, who just sniffs it and frowns.

“How can any of us eat at a time like this?” Baekhyun asks him, who shrugs and takes a ginormous bite, again trying to prove a point.

“Kai, you have goosebumps,” Lay, who is sitting next to him points out. “Was fourth period a success?”

Kai shakes his head, “you have no idea. But I think we should tell our findings in order.”

Baek recounts his and Chanyeol’s encounter with Rayna, and then Xiumin tells the table about his and Lay’s experience, stressing the part where Rayna uses her power to push Lay away from her.

Finally, it’s Kai’s turn. He tells them in detail about being partnered with Rayna, their little argument, and her pushing the desks back with her mind, and how the power affected her.

“She’s getting careless,” Kris mutters, in deep thought.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol, who is sitting next to him, agrees. “Using her power twice in one day, especially in a place as public as school, that is filled with bystanders… She can expose us.”

“No,” Kai disagrees. “She’ll only expose herself.”

“Can we discuss the present right now?” Suho asks the table, gaining their attention. “Baekhyun, Chanyeol, Lay, Xiumin, and Kai, good job. You have done well today. Now it’s mine, Kyungsoo, and Kris’s turn.”

“How is this going to go?” Kyungsoo asks with determination.

“Kyungsoo,” Suho begins. “You and I are going to approach her together. Then we’ll let Kris be the last to talk to her. Our secret weapon.”

Kris laughs bitterly at his deemed nickname.

“She’s on to us, you know,” Kai mentions. “When we first got into groups, she asked me if I was going to harass her also… I think you and Kyungsoo should do something subtle. Like, I don’t know, compliment her skirt or some bull like that.”

“Yeah,” Xiumin agrees with a nod. “That way Kris can go in for the kill!”

“That wasn’t exactly what I was going for…,” Kai mutters.

Kyungsoo pouts, “But I want to talk to her.”

“Trust me,” Chanyeol says. “There isn’t much ‘talking’ going on with Rayna. It’s more of a growled threat and the roll of her eyes. Oh, and the sight of her back as she runs away.”

The group laughs and Suho nods, “alright. So Kyungsoo and I will find her after fifth period and send her some flowery compliments and then, after school, Kris, you will go and talk to her.”

“And, what exactly am I going to say to her?”

“Just talk to her how you used to,” Baekhyun shrugs.

“And please don’t snap at her,” Lay begs. “The last thing we need is for you to scare her off.”

“There is no way in hell I could scare this Rayna off, as much as I would try.”

“All the same,” Suho says, an unspoken warning in his eyes telling Kris to get his act right. Kris raises his hands in surrender and nods understandably.

“Time for the closing acts,” Suho beams.

As the boys head out, Kai snatches Kris’ wrist and pulls him back.

“What is it?” Kris asks impatiently.

Kai gazes up at him calmly, “when you talk to Rayna, it would be best to try to drop some hints about what her power does to her. If we are to gain some kind of breakthrough, we need her to realize that her power hurts her. It’s the only way she will see how much of a monster she has become.”

Kris nods, taking Kai’s advice to heart, “I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Also,” Kai begins, dragging Kris’ retreating form back to him. He is silent for a minute, staring intently at Kris. “Don’t fuck up.”

Kris has to swallow his extremely snarky remark, settling on, “yes, sir.”

Kai smirks and pats Kris’ head, “good luck.”

~*~

“Why am I so nervous?” Kyungsoo asks, bouncing from foot to foot.

“Rayna has grown quite intimidating lately, hasn’t she?” Suho smiles warmly at Kyungsoo, who nods quickly with agreement.

“I nearly shit myself when she used her power the other day.”

“I still can’t believe it,” Suho admits with awe. “Who knew that women could get powers, and out of all the women in the world, our Rayna was the one.”

“If only it didn’t effect women like this,” Kyungsoo pouts. “I miss the old Rayna, she was always so full of life. This Rayna is…”

“Demonic?” Suho offers.

“Mean.”

Suho chuckles, “Well, that too. Have you thought about what you’re going to say?”

Kyungsoo dismisses him with the flick of his wrist, “I got this.”

Suho just shrugs.

Three minutes pass and Rayna is still a no-show.

“Did we get the right hall?” Kyungsoo asks nervously.

Suho takes out the schedule Kris had retrieved from the main office, “yep. Her sixth period is that class right there.” He points at the door diagonally across the hall from them.

“Do you think she bailed?”

Suho shrugs, “hard to say. Maybe Kai was right, and she’s not risking it.”

Kyungsoo pouts again, “I want to see her.”

Suho grins, “me too, Soo, me too.”

“So, are we going to just stand here or…?”

“Let’s just wait a little bit more, alright?”

Kyungsoo sighs but remains where he stands. Their patience is rewarded, and Rayna turns the corner, heading into the hall. She glances up and locks eyes with Kyungsoo. She freezes and her eyes widen.

Both Suho and Kyungsoo take a breath and a step towards her and she spins around, quickly heading back the way she came.

“Hey!” Kyungsoo calls after her.

“Nice shoes, Rayna!” Suho yells quickly, biting his bottom lip to hide his grin.

“She—she left,” Kyungsoo pouts again, stomping his foot. His emotions get the best of him, and he unintentionally puts power into the stomp, causing the ground beneath his foot to crack and splinter.

“Kyungsoo!” Suho chastises, and bursts out laughing.

Kyungsoo’s already wide eyes widen even more as he realizes what he just did. He spins to look at Suho, who’s bending over, clutching his tight core, trying to control himself. “I didn’t mean to, Suho, I swear!”

“It’s… alright, Kyung…soo. I know… it… was an…accident,” he finally straightens out and turns to the shocked and frightened Kyungsoo. As soon as he sees his expression, he loses it again, and explodes into laughter.

“Why are you laughing?” Kyungsoo snaps, getting impatient. Suho cannot even talk at this point so he just shakes his head and waves his hands in a way of saying ‘I’m done.’

Kyungsoo sighs and returns his gaze back to where Rayna disappeared, “This sucks, man. This sucks big time.”

~*~

“Well, our mission was a total bust,” Kyungsoo sulks to the others. The last bell rang and the seven boys are now huddled around the two cars they use to come to and from school, waiting for Kris.

“What happened?” Chanyeol asks.

Kyungsoo sighs dramatically and shakes his head, “she arrives thirty seconds before the bell rings, sees us waiting for her and turns right the hell around.”

The boys groan understandably.

“Well,” Suho shrugs good-naturedly. “Hopefully Kris is able to do a better job than we did.”

“And hurries up,” Xiumin mutters. “It’s hot and my legs hurt.”

“We could always head on without him,” Lay offers. “He can fly after all.”

The boys just stare at him.

“What?” He asks.

“Is Rayna’s negativity rubbing off on you?” Xiumin asks.

Lay shakes his head slowly, “I don’t understand.”

“You’re the nice one,” Chanyeol informs him sternly.

“I—I am?” He asks, lost.

Baekhyun sighs, “You’re also the clueless one.”

~*~

Rayna seems to part the Red Sea of students as she makes her way to the parking lot.

Does she drive now? Kris wonders. There is so much about this Rayna he doesn’t know. She is an enigma and he is afraid of the unknown.

He watches in amazement how the other students interact with her. Despite the rumor that Rayna is a transfer student, most of the students at the school know that she went there last year. Some of them were friends with her even. But they are just as aware as Kris and the gang that this Rayna is different, and reuniting with old friends is not a priority to her.

Kids give her lots of space, and stare at her from afar. Some with wonder, some with confusion. Others with lust—for she is a beautiful girl—others with sadness and concern. Yet there they stand, never approaching her, that is, except Kris, one of the most popular boys in the school.

Actually, all eight of the boys are pretty popular. They are all handsome and mysterious. Girls want them, and boys want to hang out with them for the attention. Kris notices as he leans away from the wall he’s resting on girls eyeing him curiously. He doesn’t want to approach Rayna this way. Shoot, he doesn’t want to approach her at all, not after their first encounter. That being said, in front of an audience was probably not the most ideal situation, but maybe a crowded area will keep Rayna at bay.

Maybe.

He trails behind her for a moment, when he’s close enough, he snatches her wrist, pulling her to a stop. She freezes and slowly turns around, having to lean her head way back to meet his gaze.

“Kris,” she greets with a smirk.

“Rayna,” he replies back with a matching grin.

“So, they sent the big bad wolf to finish off Little Red then?” She asks.

Kris shrugs, “oh, I’m not that bad, am I?”

“I never thought you were,” she shrugs nonchalant and it almost makes Kris angry. How can she say something like that and yet convey no emotions whatsoever? Enigma she is.

“Rayna,” he starts, taking a step towards her. If they have to approach her how they used too, than Kris will use her old feelings and see how far he could get. “You understand what’s going on, don’t you?”

He still has ahold of her wrist, and he rubs circles on it with his thumb. She doesn’t even flinch from his touch, “I think I’m able to put together bits and pieces.”

“We’re giving you the puzzle, you just have to finish it. But, we could help you, if you allowed us.”

She smirks, “there you guys go again with all this ‘help’ crap. I’m absolutely confused, I don’t need any help.”

Kris shakes his head slowly, “you’re so blinded by it you’ve become delusional.”

“Blinded by what exactly.”

“You know what,” Kris strains to keep his voice down. He is beginning to grow impatient.

“Oh,” Rayna nods. “The whole ‘power thing’.”

“Yeah, that.”

“Look, I feel great. I feel so much better now.”

“Better then when?”

“Better than before I got this power. Before I was so sad, so lonely. I clung onto the most pathetic things. Like you guys—you in particular. You and Kai. It was almost an obsession, especially those last months when you all had powers. I tried extra hard to make my presence known, but it was wasted effort. I mean, I could have hung out with you all buck naked and you probably wouldn’t had noticed.”

“Maybe if you were buck naked and on fire… I think I would’ve probably glanced at you at least.”

Rayna chuckles without humor, “anyways, I was lost and depressed. When I first got my power, I felt more alive than I had in months.”

“And now you’re relying on that feeling too much. But you don’t have to anymore, Rayna. You leaving… well, we noticed that.”

Rayna gazes deeply into his eyes, reading his emotions. He stares back, trying to decipher what she is thinking, but her eyes are like metal walls, they aren’t giving anything away.

Finally, she shrugs, “sorry. Nothing.”

Kris lets out a frustrated breath, “would you at least allow us to try?”

“I deal with that enough already, thank you.”

“What does that mean?”

“How exactly would you guys be helping me? I don’t get that part.”

Kris takes a deep breath, “We’ll help you restrain your urges to use your power.”

“Okay,” she says slowly. “So I gradually stop using my power… then what?”

“Then,” Kris begins, smiling gently. “You return back to the fun loving Rayna you were before you turned sixteen.”

“Uh-huh,” she nods. “So, I stop using my power and I magically become the Rayna you loved to ignore and we all live happily ever after, correct?”

Kris nods, “that’s the theory.”

“Theory?”

“Yup. That’s what we believe will happen.”

“So, you guys are doing all of this on a theory?”

“Well, we know someone who has dealt with a Vessel before so…”

“Vessel?”

“Yeah, a woman with powers. You. You are a Vessel.”

She thinks about the word for a moment, “I like that.”

“Well, I like the old you.”

“Well, Kris, people change.”

“Yeah, but they shouldn’t be required to by some outside force.”

“But isn’t that what you guys are trying to do?”

He is silent for a second. Is that what they are doing?

“Look, I’m thrilled you guys want me back so badly, seriously, I really am. But I have to go. Nice try though.” She begins to yank her hand from his grip, but he only tightens his hold.

“I never did get to take you flying,” he admits. She freezes and her head whips up to stare at him.

“You remember?” He asks her.

Her eyes narrow and for a second, they come to life. For a second, he’s with the old Rayna. She gulps and nods slowly.

He leans in, “I can take you. Right now, if you want.”

She blinks at him rapidly, and looks around at the dwindling crowd around them. “Now?”

Kris nods and smiles softly, “Ray, it will be just us two.”

She takes a step towards him and he opens his arms for her to embrace him and then suddenly it all crumbles. She hesitates, and then her head twitches. She hisses in pain and Kris watches in horror as her eyes become totally black.

“Oh no.”

She wraps her hand around his neck and squeezes gently. Her head tilts slightly to the right, “actually, I think making things fly is a lot more fun.”

Kris closes his eyes, waiting for her to flail his body wherever she pleased, but nothing happens.

“Rayna!” He hears an unfamiliar voice call her name and a frustrated growl escape her lips.

He opens his eyes and spots an older guy staring intently at Rayna. His big doe-like eyes never leaving her.

“Let me go,” she barks.

“Not until you release him,” he says solemnly. Who the hell is this guy? His lean body is leaning against a red beat-up four-door car, and Kris notices three more heads peeking at the scene through the greasy windows.

“She can’t control it,” Kris sputters to the man, who still holds an unwavering stare over Rayna.

“She can,” he says confidently. His voice is gentle, just like the rest of his features. Fragile, like he will snap at any moment. “Rayna,” he starts with a voice full of warning. “Let. Him. Go.”

Kris looks around him, wondering what bystanders must be thinking of the scene. To his shock, he notices that the people still clustered around them are frozen, not even a blink or the rise of a chest.

“What—what is going on?” He chokes out.

The man runs a hand through his white-blonde locks, “Tao is using his powers.”

“Tao? Powers?”

“I can freeze time,” one of the heads from the car calls out.

“Oh,” Kris blinks. “Well, that’s pretty cool, dude.”

“Thanks,” the head says and then they all focus back on the main problem.

“Rayna, you are strong,” the man continues to coax her. “You can kill him. You can throw him into a pole if you want—”

“What are you doing?” Kris screeches, that doesn’t sound like someone trying to help him.

“It’s alright,” the man says. “She can’t do anything as long as I’m here.”

“Fuck. You.” Rayna growls, struggling to move her lips.

“Wait,” Kris says. “Are you using a power also?”

“Shh,” the man snaps. “You’re distracting me.”

“Sorry.”

“You can kill him,” he starts where he left off. “But what will that do for you? What will you accomplish?”

“I’ll be free. Completely free.”

“No you won’t. You’ll be even more chained down. Please, Rayna, let this boy go.”

“Fuck you and fuck him,” she barks, tightening her grip on Kris’ neck.

“No. Fuck that power of yours.”

Rayna’s head starts to twitch from side to side and slowly, one of her eyes goes back to normal.

“You are strong enough to kill him,” the man says. “You are also strong enough to know that, yet refrain from such actions. That’s what will make you the most powerful, understanding your strength, but not using it every chance you get.”

Her grip on his neck starts to loosen, when her hand is finally off of him, he falls back to the ground and backs quickly away from her. He watches as she tries to fight against some unforeseen force, but instead, she begins to gradually take steps backwards. The steps do not look as if she is willingly moving, it looks as if someone is pulling the strings.

The man. Kris stares at the sight playing before him. Rayna finally walks backwards to the car and one of the boys opens the door, letting her in the backseat. When she’s in, the man let’s his power over her go and slams the door shut. Instantly, she begins hitting the door, and Kris can hear her muffled voice through the closed door, he can imagine what she’s saying.

“Here.” He looks from the car to the hand that’s outstretched towards him. He grabs it, and the man yanks him up easily. Kris towers over the guy, yet he feels so small after what he just witnessed. “Don’t worry, she can’t get out. I have the child lock on.”

Suddenly, he hears the ringing of multiple conversations going on at once, and the occasional honking of cars.

“He unfroze time?” He asks the shorter man. Who nods, having a look around the campus.

“I’m Luhan,” the man introduces himself, holding out his hand again.

“Kris,” Kris introduces himself, shaking the man’s hand. “Thanks for the help.”

“Yeah, no problem.”

“How do you know Rayna?”

Luhan smiles softly, “she lives with us.”

“Us?” Kris squeaks.

Luhan nods, “we are the others.”

Chapter Four: The Others

“What do you mean ‘the others,’” Kris asks.

Luhan smiles, “why don’t you and your friends follow me, and I’ll tell you guys everything you need to know.”

Kris agrees reluctantly and runs over to the rest of his gang.

“What just happened?” Xiumin asks, bewildered.

“What do you mean?” Kris asks innocently.

“Well,” Suho begins. “You look like you had a breakthrough.”

“Who are those guys?” Kyungsoo ponders, staring at Luhan’s small car.

“They know Rayna, they have answers. We have to follow them.”

“Alright,” Chanyeol agrees slowly. He’s the first one to move, opening the driver’s door and getting settled. The rest follow suit, Kris jumping into the driver’s seat of the other car. He pulls up behind Luhan and honks, Luhan speeds off, Kris and Chanyeol hot on his tail.

They drive for about fifteen minutes, pulling into a really nice suburban neighborhood. Finally, they pull into a lot. The house is smaller than most on the street—with it being the only one-story home—but still looks relatively comfy. It is brown and has big windows in the front, although the blinds are closed up tight.

“Welcome to our home,” Luhan grins once everyone is out of their cars.

“’Our home’?” Baekhyun asks, eyes flickering to Rayna, who is laying limp in one of the boys’ arms.

“Yup, the five of us live here,” the time freezer, Tao, clarifies. “Come on in.”

They follow the boys into the house. It’s pretty dim inside, but spacey.

“Make yourselves comfy,” Luhan orders. “I’ll make some hot chocolate.”

The eight boys stiffly sit around the living room. Baek watches as the boy who is carrying Rayna drags her away, disappearing into the hallway.

“What happened to Rayna?” he asks nervously.

“She was losing it,” one of the others, the shortest of the group with short reddish brown hair, says as he drags a chair from the dining table. “We had to put her out for a while.”    

“Put her out?” Baek sputters, the other boys react mostly the same.

The boy shrugs, “it was either that or let her use her power and hurt someone.”

“We’ve been dealing with her for months now,” Luhan says, walking into the living room, handing out drinks. “The best way to calm her down usually is to just knock her out.”

“And how do you do that exactly?” Kai questions, sniffing his drink suspiciously.

“We let Sehun take care of it.”

“Hello,” one of the boys—the one that carried Rayna earlier—greets. He is tall, about as tall as Chanyeol and Kris, and has white-blond hair just like Luhan. He smiles warmly and takes a cup from Luhan.

“Do you all have powers?” Kris questions.

“Powers?” Chanyeol nearly chokes on his drink. Lay softly pats his back as he catches his breath.

Luhan nods, leaning against the wall and crossing his legs. “Why don’t we all introduce ourselves? I’m Luhan, I’m the oldest of the four of us, and the leader. I have telekinesis.”

He nods over to Sehun. “Hello, I’m Sehun. I’m the youngest of us and Luhan’s brother. I can control wind.”

Control wind? Baek wonders. How does that knock Rayna out? It suddenly hits him and his eyes widen. “You take away her air supply! You choke her until she passes out!”

Sehun’s eyes widen with shock from Baek’s hostility.

“Well, there’s really no other way,” Luhan says matter-of-factly.

“You can kill her,” Kai says softly.

Luhan shakes his head, “Sehun would never do that. He knows what he’s doing.”

“How long have you had your power?” Kai asks the startled Sehun.

“Um… for about five months now, I think.”

“Five months?” All eight of the boys bark at the same time causing the rest, except Luhan, to jump.

“He knows what he’s doing,” Luhan repeats firmly. “Tao, introduce yourself.”

“I’m Tao,” Tao starts hesitantly. He has a dark aura about him, but he has a soft caring voice. “I can freeze time.”

“And I’m Chen,” the last member introduces. “I can control lightning.”

The other eight introduce themselves and their powers also.

“I’m Suho. I control water.”

“I’m Kris, I can fly.”

“I’m Xiumin, my power is frost.”

“I’m Kai, I can teleport.”

“I’m Kyungsoo, I have super strength.”

“I’m Lay, I can heal.”

“I’m Chanyeol, I can control fire.”

“And I’m Baekhyun. I have the power of light.”

“Light?” Luhan asks, intrigued. Baekhyun nods. “That’s… interesting.”    

“I’m sorry,” Suho begins. “I don’t mean to interrupt, but we’d really like to know why our friend is staying with you. How long has she been with you?”

“Well, let’s see,” Luhan’s gaze flickers to the ceiling as he back tracks. “It’s January now, so we met nearly four months ago, in September.

“I found her when I was walking home from work one day. In the forest on the way. She was filthy and startled, totally hopeless—at least that’s what I had thought. It took some coaxing, but I was able to bring her to the house. Chen wasn’t too fond of the idea of her at first, but I felt protective of her. I remember being confused by that need at the time, but now I know it was because of the power. I finally was able to talk both the boys and her into letting her stay until she felt well enough to continue on her way. They agreed. She got better, but never left, and now here we are.”

“Why didn’t she leave when she could of?” Xiumin asks.

Luhan shrugs, “I’m guessing she grew attached, especially once we all realized both her and I shared the same form of power. The day that we found out she had one, it became a warzone. We were trying to kill her, she was trying to kill us, and everyone was terrified. I somehow was able to talk some sense into her, and I made her a deal: I’d help her control her powers if she stayed with us.”

“Is that what you’ve been doing since?” Kris asks him.

“Yes. What you saw earlier was just some of the teachings we’ve been going through. Her power may be stronger by nature, but I’m stronger by default. She’s getting better, but she still doesn’t have the control or restraint that men do. That’s what I’m teaching her.”

“This question might sound random,” Kai begins. “But why does she go to school now? How did that happen?”

“I didn’t want her to,” Luhan admits. “She was still pretty unstable, but she wanted to. I’ve been studying her, gathering information about how women with powers act. When she uses, she loses a slice of herself, the human in her. But there is still a little girl wandering aimlessly inside her mind. Despite her stone hard image, she still craves for a normal life. I could see it in her eyes when she asked me about it one day—the longing. The months from her birthday to when I found her are full of tragedy, pain, death… She doesn’t tell us much, but sometimes, every once in a while, she’ll give us a puzzle piece, a memory of hers. I’ve been writing them down, keeping a journal of the things I find out about her. Anyway, I think the real reason she wanted to go to school again was because she missed you guys.”

“What?” The eight ask.

“That’s hard to believe,” Chanyeol scoffs. “She’s been giving us the cold shoulder since she’s arrived.”

Luhan just shrugs—a gesture Kris was beginning to think was a part of his nature—and continues talking, “believe it or not, when she came home on that first day, she did something I never thought I’d see her do.”

“And what was that?” Baekhyun eggs him on.

Luhan’s shiny eyes bore intensely into Baek’s as he grins, “She smiled.”

“Enough of the Rayna talk,” Chen says after a small pause. He claps his hands and rubs them together, a mischievous smirk on his lips. “Let’s see these powers of yours.”

Suho raises an eyebrow, “you just want us to play with our powers? To risk our lives to show off our abilities?”

Chen ponders for a second and then nods, “yeah, pretty much. What’s the fun of having these abilities if you can’t use them?”

Suho nods his head slowly and then grins, “alright, let’s go.”

All the boys head to the backyard, which is bordered with a tall wooden fence. Perfect for showing powers.

“So… who first?” Chen asks. He’s standing in the center of the yard, legs spread in a power stance and arms crossed over his chest.

“Uh…. How about you?” Xiumin suggests.

Chen smiles at the ground and when he rises his head, his eyes are all white. The boys take a step back as gray clouds begin to block out the blue sky and thunder rolls violently.

The wind picks up also, and the boys tug their blazers closer around themselves. Chen lifts his hands, palms up, and suddenly, lightning strikes begin to hit his palms, followed by loud cracks of thunder. After a minute of flickering, the streaks of light maintain their positions on his hands, shooting up to the heavens. The electricity sends static around, and the boys began to laugh as their hair and clothes begin to spike up. Sehun quickly pokes Tao, who gets shocked, and they end up having a shock war. The other boys notice what they are doing, and Chanyeol quickly begins to poke Baekhyun, who in turn shocks Kyungsoo, and the chain continues until all the boys are running around shocking one another. The only two who resist the little game are Luhan and Kris, who just smirk and roll their eyes at one another.

Finally, Chen decides to stop and the sky clears. The nine boys who are running around stop and try to catch their breath.

“That…was…sick, man,” Chanyeol huffs, he’s bent over with hands on his knees, but he raises an arm to give Chen a thumbs up. Chen grins and shrugs.

“Alright, whose next?” Chen asks.

Kai rolls his shoulders back and straightens up, “I’ll go.”

“Alright,” Tao says. “Show us what you got.”

Kai smirks, looking the new guys in the eyes and then he suddenly disappears. Tao, Chen, and Sehun spin around, trying to find him.

“Up here, fellas.” All the guys raise their heads to where the voice came from—on top of Luhan’s roof. There sits Kai, playing mindlessly with his tie.

“Ohh…” They stare at him in awe as he pops back down to where he was before on the ground.

“I want to go!” Sehun whines. Once he catches everyone’s attention, he takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. I giant gust of wind blows the boys back, causing them to fall and stumble about.

“Sehun!” Luhan calls the young boy’s attention. Sehun’s eyes snap open and the wind stops immediately.

He winces, “I’m sorry. I’m still learning the ropes.”

“Knows what he’s doing, my ass,” Baekhyun mutters, scrambling back to his feet.

“My turn,” Luhan says, his voice flat with determination. He removes himself from against the fence and marches over to the center of the yard. His face suddenly becomes blank as he stares intently at something.

No, someone, and that someone realizes it too late.

Baekhyun slowly begins to rise from the ground. “Whoa, whoa. Hey, put me down!”

Luhan ignores his protests, instead rising the boy higher and higher until he can see over the fence.

“This isn’t funny,” Baekhyun screams, scrambling to hold on to anything, flailing his limbs about.

“Alright,” Suho says, laying a hand on Luhan’s stiff shoulder. “I think that’s enough.”

Luhan tilts his head, and for some of the boys, it reminds them eerily of Rayna, and closes his eyes, breaking the connection with Baekhyun. The boy falls and lands roughly on the ground.

He yelps in pain and clutches his ankle. The rest of his members run over to him to check if he is hurt.

“His ankle is sprained,” Lay murmurs. “I guess it’s time to show my power then…” He lays his hands on Baek’s ankle and concentrates. His hands begin to glow and in a few seconds, Baekhyun catches his breath and stands back up as if nothing happened.

He scowls at Luhan, “what was that for?”

Luhan shrugs, “my brother knows what he’s doing when it comes to Rayna. Although he is young, and not quite aware of his potential, he understands wind better than a sailor, and he understands how much air is needed to be taken away to kill someone.”

“He’s right,” Sehun adds somewhat hesitantly. “I’d never hurt Rayna, despite how she is. I might not be fully confident with my power, but I am confident in it when it comes to her.”    

“What does that have to do with you levitating me?” Baekhyun snaps.

Luhan sighs, “I had heard what you said after Sehun showed his power. That was punishment.”

“Punishment?” Baeks takes a step towards him, but Chanyeol and Kai hold him back.

“Just let it go,” Chanyeol murmurs to him.

“Yeah, you’re even now,” Kai says. Baekhyun sighs, but stops fighting them.

“So… I guess I’ll go now,” Suho says, trying to break the tension.

Everyone watches as he glances around him with a pout.

Then a wide smile graces his face as he raises his hand, pointer finger out. He begins to move his hand as if he is writing in the air and a small trail of water appears from thin air, contorting into the shapes his finger designs.

He writes his name with the water, along with Rayna’s.

“How… how are you doing that?” Xiumin asks, spellbound.

Suho chuckles, “there is water literally everywhere, Xiumin. I’m just controlling the water that is in the air.”

“Water in the air?” Tao asks, gazing around him in awe.

Suho shrugs, “water is everywhere. I can show you something even cooler, though it is a bit more dangerous.”

“Well, by all means, show us,” Luhan says, a wicked grin contorting his features.

“Who trusts me the most?” Suho asks, still making designs in the air.

There is a brief silence before Kyungsoo speaks up, “I trust you, Suho.”

Suho nods and stands still, staring at Kyungsoo seriously, “don’t be afraid.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes widen as his arms begin to rise without his consent.

“There is water in us as well,” Suho says, concentrating heavily on moving Kyungsoo’s arms about.

“You can control blood?” Sehun squeaks.

Suho nods, “any form of liquid is under my control, really. Depending on how much water it contains. But it isn’t his blood that I’m controlling,” he lets Kyungsoo go and spins to face the others. “It’s his body.”

The group is silent with confusion.

Suho sighs, “Our body is made up mostly of water. I can sense the water within all of you, and I can control it, therefore controlling your bodies.”

“That’s… well, that’s just plain creepy,” Chen murmurs.

Suho nods again, “having powers in general is creepy, Chen. Although, I must admit, some are creepier than others. Take Chanyeol’s for example.”

“Hey, my power is not creepy!” Chanyeol whines. His sad features are suddenly reversed, “it’s awesome!”

Suho gestures to the center of the yard, “Then why don’t you demonstrate?”

“Fine,” Chanyeol huffs, marching to the center. “I will.”

Once Chanyeol is ready, he takes a deep breath and flexes. His body is then engulfed by flames.

The others gasp and take a few steps back, but Chanyeol just stands up straighter, placing his fists on his hips victoriously.

“I can control fire,” he beams as he releases the flame.

“That is awesome,” Sehun grins back. 

“But...your clothes...um....” Tao covers his eyes as others laugh. Chanyeol glances down to find that he had obliterated his clothes, leaving him nude.

He quickly covers himself and Luhan shakes his head. “Sehun, will you take Chanyeol up and give him some clothes?”

“Of course!” Sehun, still giggling, nudges the bare boy, leading him back into the house.

“Kyungsoo, why don’t you show us your power?” Suho asks once the two return, Chanyeol’s cheeks redder then a tomato.

Kyungsoo blinks around nervously and slowly makes his way to the center. With a battle cry, he stomps his foot down to the ground, causing it to splinter and crack around his foot.

Everyone claps, Kai runs up to him, ruffling his hair. A small smile appears on Kyungsoo’s face and he apologizes quickly to Luhan for ruining his yard.

“It’s fine,” Luhan smiles back. “Tao, it’s your turn.”

“But… I don’t know how to show them. It’s not really something I can demonstrate to everyone at once.”

“Well then, just show them. Use us three for an example.”

Tao nods and then faces the eight boys. “Pay close attention,” he advises.

Even though he has already witnessed Tao’s gift, Kris can’t help but be entranced by his ability.

Luhan, Chen, and Sehun begin to run around. Chasing one another around Tao. Suddenly, they freeze, all mid-step.

There’s a bird flying above them that abruptly stills, hovering above their heads.

“What just happened?” Baekhyun asks, staring at a frozen Luhan whose mouth is open in laughter.

“I can freeze time,” Tao whispers, his eyes wandering searching his surroundings with a smirk on his lips.

“How come we aren’t frozen either?” Lay asks.

“I can pick people to stay unfrozen as well. It comes in handy when I need to talk to someone privately.”

“Have you ever froze time for Rayna?” Kai asks anxiously.

Tao nods, “There were a few times I’ve had to freeze time for Rayna,” his eyes flicker to Kris who understands and has experienced it. “So that Luhan could talk to her when she was in her… state.”

“This is truly a gift,” Suho says, smiling warmly at Tao as they lock eyes.

Tao grins again, “thank you.”

Luhan and the others begin running again, and the bird continues its journey past their house.

Xiumin steps forward, “my turn.”

Chanyeol and Kai sigh and Xiumin shoots them a look. “You guys ready?”

Before anyone can answer, the temperature begins to drop so that they could all see their breath.

“Suho?” Xiumin calls. Suho shoots his hand forward and water flies towards Xiumin. He blinks and the water freezes over, falling to the ground with a hard thud.

The others applaud.

“Why did you drop the temperature?” Chanyeol pouts when Xiumin rejoins them.

Xiumin shrugs, “That was your punishment for whining.”

Chanyeol sucks his teeth and pouts.

“Alright. There are two left. Baekhyun and Kris. Who’s going to go first?” Suho asks

Kris and Baekhyun share a glance.

“Rock, paper, scissors?” Baek offers and Kris shrugs, jogging over to him. Kris loses and so, he has to go first.

With the roll of his eyes, he trudges over to the middle of the yard.

He shakes his feet out for a bit, rolling his neck and then rises slowly off the ground. He rises until he is about ten feet up, and then begins to fly around the yard. He can’t restrain the blissful grin that appears on his face, as the chilly wind hits him, blowing his hair back.

After a few minutes, he reluctantly returns back to the earth, and is greeted by wild applause.

“That was sick!” Sehun compliments.

“That was pretty awesome,” Chen agrees.

Kris smiles shyly, “Thanks guys.”

“And then there was one,” Luhan says, staring at Baekhyun.

Baekhyun sighs and timidly walks to the center, “my power isn’t anything special. It’s kinda pointless really.”

“All the same,” Luhan says. “I’m quite curious.”

Baekhyun sighs again and then raises his hand, palm forward in front of himself. He stares at it intently, biting his lip as sweat begins to rain down his forehead.

Finally, a small bright light begins to glow from his palm. Stretching and growing like a toddler waking up from a nap.

Baekhyun laughs with relief as the soft golden glow begins to spin around his arm, up to his shoulder and across his chest, blanketing him in early morning light.

“It’s… beautiful,” Luhan breathes. Everyone can’t keep their eyes off the shimmering light, watching as it wraps itself comfortably around Baekhyun, who chuckles from time to time.

“Can… can I touch it?” Sehun asks. Baekhyun looks up at him and nods guiltily.

Sehun takes a few steps over and then lifts a hand forward. It shakes as it gains on the light, which seems to stiffen—preparing itself for his contact.

Finally, Sehun’s fingers brush against the glow, and he gasps as the light begins to wrap around his digits.

He laughs as well, “It’s warm.”

Baekhyun nods, “That’s light for you.”

“Amazing,” he breathes.

The sun sits low in the sky, causing the world’s ceiling to turn shades of red and orange.

“It’s getting late,” Kris says, breaking the tranquil peace that rests on all the boys as Baekhyun’s light travels around both him and Sehun. “We should all head home.”

“Aw,” Kyungsoo pouts.

Baekhyun retracts his light until it’s back in his palm, where it sinks into and disappears, “he’s right.” He looks at Sehun, “it was nice meeting you all.”

Sehun nods vehemently, “likewise. You guys are really cool.”

“So are you,” Suho replies. “I’m thankful that you were the ones to find Rayna. I can tell you all care about her, and I mean, she’s still alive so…”

Luhan chuckles, “we are trying our best.”

“I guess we’ll see you around then,” Kris says, as everyone heads back inside.

As they are walking over to their cars, Kris feels a soft tug on his bicep. He glances behind him to see Luhan.

“Yeah?” He asks him.

“There’s something I need you to see real quick.” Luhan drags Kris down the hall to the last door on the left. On the way, Kris glances at a door that’s ajar and sees inside, a still sleeping Rayna. He feels his heart speed up, but continues none the less.

Once in the room, Luhan’s grip on Kris’ arm dissolves and he heads over to the dresser on the opposite side of the room, opening a drawer and rummaging inside it.

“This your room?” Kris asks to fill the silence. Luhan nods, still searching for whatever it is he’s looking for. “It looks cozy enough.”

“Thanks,” Luhan says standing straight and turning around to face him again. In his hands is a small brown leather-bond book. “I told you I have been writing all of my finding about Rayna in a journal.” He holds the book out. “Well, here it is.”

Kris stares at it like it’s going to bite him, then back up to Luhan, “why are you giving it to me?”

“Out of all the boys, I think her disappearance hurt you the most. She’s talked about you before, you know?”

“She has?”  Kris cannot believe it. Him? Why?

“Yeah, she missed you. That’s another reason I’m giving this to you. There’s not much, but I think there is enough for you to find some sort of closure.” He shrugs. “It’s all I have really to help you.”

“Thank you,” Kris says earnestly, grabbing the book from Luhan and gripping it tightly. “Thank you so much, Luhan. You didn’t have to do this.”

“Do what? Give you the book or take her in?”

They stare at each other for a moment and Kris gulps he’s in love with her, isn’t he? He prays not, the last thing he needs is for someone else to put claim on Rayna, to tumble down the black abyss that is Rayna’s love.

“Both,” he grins softly.

“Oh! And another thing.” Luhan says before Kris leaves his room. Kris turns around and lifts his eyebrows in acknowledgement. “Don’t show the others I’ve given that to you. There’s stuff in there… I think only you could swallow.”

Kris tries to ignore the way his heart thumps loudly when Luhan says that. What has Rayna been going through since her sixteenth birthday?

Well, it seems like he was going to find out.

Chapter Five: Subtle Insight

Kris enters his silent home later that night and trudges straight to his room. He peeks inside his mother’s room when he walks past it to see that she’s asleep.

Once inside his own room, he plops down on his bed and pulls out the journal Luhan gave to him. He had hid it securely away from the other boys by tucking it in his waistband, and they never noticed, thank God.

He skims through it, noticing that out of about fifty pages, nearly twenty were filled. Luhan’s writing was very straight and formal, though in some entries, his script appears wobbly or rushed, written either in a hurry or with some strong emotion. Those entries make Kris nervous.

Or excited. Or both.

With a sigh he returns to the first page and begins the sad life that is Rayna’s sixteenth year:

September 17,

Rayna’s been with us for a week now. She doesn’t say much, she mostly just sits around staring at nothing or out the window. The only time she does really talk is when she needs something like clothes or the green beans. She seems…haunted. I don’t know a thing about her, but I do know that her past has traumatized her. I asked her if she had been kidnapped and she told me no, but I’m still concerned. Should I have given her up to the cops like Chen said I should have? I don’t think I could. There’s something about her… almost like a tug or a pull, I can’t leave her alone.

Also, I always get this weird tingly feeling in my palms whenever she’s near, like an itching. The weirdest part about it is that it’s not like an itching towards her, more like an itching to use my power. I asked Sehun if he feels that way when he’s around her and he just looked at me as if I were crazy and said no very sternly. I think he’s worried about me, shit, I’m worried about me! Since Rayna’s appearance into my life, I’ve found myself always on edge, like if I come home from work one day she’ll be gone. I can’t let her leave, not yet at least, I need more answers, I need to help her.

Kris turns to the next entry and noticed how sharp the writing was in this one.

September 30,           

Well what a turn of events.

I wanted answers and I’ve gotten them. At least, the big answer has been solved. Somehow, Rayna has gifts, she’s a Special just like the rest of us. I can only guess that’s the reason for my attachment towards her.

Today, after coming home from work and picking up the boys from school, we saw Rayna making things levitate in our living room.

We all freaked out and panicked, asking her questions. She was silent the whole while, staring at us as if she were in a trance. Suddenly, she made Chen soar across the room, nearly knocking him unconscious. We didn’t think after that. We all were trying to kill her, she was a threat, and I just knew that if I didn’t kill her first, it would be me who died.

But I felt even more powerful than ever, fighting with her fighting so close to me, and I realized that we had the same power. Images of her when I first found her kept popping in my head, and I could tell that she was just a scared child who needed some sort of guidance.

When I realized that, I jumped in the middle of the fight and told everyone to stop. No one wanted to listen, so I used my power to make them stop myself. I begged Rayna to let me help her, that she wasn’t a monster, and I could give her the tools needed to perfect her power.

She liked what I had to offer, and we all decided—much to Chen’s dismay—to compromise.

That being said, we’re all a bit on edge. Every time Rayna makes even the slightest move, we all jump, afraid she’s going to throw another one of us.

She’s sleeping on the couch across from me as I write this, and she looks so peaceful—beautiful even. I wonder what she was like before she grew these powers, I wonder just what exactly this thing has done to her.

Kris puts the book down after reading that entry. That is enough for the night. He’s frightened to get to the parts Luhan wasn’t there to witness.

Next time, he thinks to himself, turning off his light and heading off to sleep.

~*~

During lunch the next day, the boys are surprised when an extra tray slams against the table top and Rayna’s body slides in next to Lay’s.

She begins eating without a word. The members stare at her, speechless.

Finally, she notices their looks and returns their gazes with a sharp one of her own. “What?”

Almost immediately, the eight boys pick up their utensils and start devouring their food, trying to play off their staring.

Rayna sighs and leans back in her seat, “just so you guys know, Luhan thought it would be for the best if I sat with you all from now on.”

“And you actually listened to him?” Kris asks, somewhat stunned. Kai’s hands roll into fists from jealousy.

She shrugs, “I wasn’t going to but…”

“But?” Suho presses.

“Luhan’s smart. He never suggests things unless he knows the outcome. So, it’s just best to listen to him,” she shrugs.

The boys are silent as they let her words sink in.

Baekhyun is curious, “just what exactly is Luhan to you?”

Rayna’s eyes darken as she meets his gaze, “he saved me. If it weren’t for him, I would have died on countless occasions. He protects me, and in return, I will listen to what he has to say, and do what he commands.”

“You’re indebted to him?” Chanyeol asks.

“Something like that…” Rayna murmurs.

“He’s helping you reign in your powers, right?” Suho asks.

Rayna nods, “It’s part of our deal. I can live with him and in return, he will help me control my power.”

“I thought you already had it under control?” Kai asks, raising an eyebrow.

Rayna smirks, “I could still kill you, Kai, don’t forget that.”

He flinches, and the grin that was on his face melts off.

“Rayna…” Suho shakes his head once, and she just sighs, returning her attention to her tray.

The boys remain watching her cautiously, preparing for when she would decide to snap.

“I’m not going to do anything rash,” she assures, never lifting her head.

“Would you be offended if I told you that was hard to believe?” Suho asks, a soft smile gracing his lips.

Rayna lets out a snort and shakes her head, “I know how women with powers are viewed, you have every right to be afraid.”

“We never said that,” Kyungsoo says quickly.

Slowly, Rayna’s eyes raise to meet his and she sneers. Kyungsoo gulps as her dark orbs bore into his, “I can smell the fear on you.”

“You have super senses too?!” Chanyeol whines, popping the tense bubble that is beginning to form. “That’s not fair!”

“It is anything but,” Rayna agrees. Lay notices her shoulders sag and her face fall and wonders what she means by that.

~*~

“You guys don’t find it a bit strange how Luhan is able to make Rayna do things?” Baekhyun asks his friends later that day. They are back in his room, cramped together in the small space, munching on the snacks his mother had made beforehand.

“Oh, I do find it strange,” Kai agrees. “There is something about those two that doesn’t sit right with me.”

“There’s something about Luhan that doesn’t sit right with me,” Baekhyun admits.

“I like him,” Kris confesses, causing Baekhyun to stare at him incredulously.

“Yeah, he’s cool,” Xiumin agrees. “You’re just mad at him for making you levitate.”

“He twisted my ankle!” Baekhyun yells defensively.

“It was a small sprain,” Lay clarifies with the roll of his eyes. “And I healed you not even a minute later.”

Baekhyun huffs and crosses his arms like a child.

“Also, I think their bond has something to do with their powers,” Suho says.

“What do you mean?” Chanyeol asks.

“Well, you know they share a similar gift: levitation. I think that somehow makes them attuned to one another. It allows them to feel some sort of camaraderie or resemblance.”

“It’s also very helpful,” Kyungsoo adds. “Since they share the same power, Luhan can easily teach her how to control it.”

“Do you think it’s working?” Chanyeol asks, biting his bottom lip with worry.

Kris nods, ���it’s working, alright. I…I didn’t tell you guys this, but she was going to kill me.”

“WHAT?!” The seven boys in the room all spin their heads to his direction with surprise.

Kris stares at Baekhyun’s tan carpet self-consciously, “I was trying to get the old Rayna back, I even used her old nickname, and for a moment it worked. It actually worked…”

His eyes glaze over as he remembers the way Rayna’s voice grew innocent, and her features softened, as she began to walk towards him.

“I had her, the old Rayna. I was going to take her flying, and as soon as I was about to grab her hand, she snapped.”

The boys are silent as Kris shares with them what had happened after school. “I could practically see the power overwhelm her mind. Her head was twitching as if she were fighting with it, and she looked as if she were in excruciating pain. Then the hand that was reaching for me was suddenly wrapped around my neck, and she was squeezing the life out of me. She said ‘actually, I think making things fly is a lot more fun’ and I knew then that she was going to kill me.”

“What…what happened?” Xiumin whispers.

A small smile graces Kris’ lips, “Luhan saved me.”

“WHAT?!” The boys all yell again. Why hadn’t Kris told them this earlier?!

“Luhan used his power to stop her from levitating me, and talked her out of doing it.”

“How?” Baekhyun murmurs.

Kris shakes his head, “he just talked to her. He was telling her how she could kill me if she wanted to, but that would mean the power would win, not her. It took a lot of coaxing, but finally, she let go on her own.”

“And how come we never knew this? Why didn’t we see anything? We watched you guys the whole time and never did I see her try to kill you,” Baekhyun says with frustration.

“Tao used his power to freeze time,” Kris informs his friends.

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that,” Chanyeol pouts.

“It’s so weird that there are more of us that live so close,” Kyungsoo says. “With them and Rayna, that makes thirteen people in our area that have powers. That’s a lot.”

Suho nods, “and how did they all meet one another? I’m aware that Luhan and Sehun are brothers, but how did Tao and Chen end up living with them? What happened to all of their parents? What’s their story?”

“More questions to add on to the ever growing list of ‘I-don’t-know’,” Kai mutters with a sigh, tossing a mechanical pencil across the room.

“I don’t care about their story,” Lay admits quietly. “As long as they are taking good care of Rayna, and helping her as much as they can, I don’t care how or why. I’m grateful for them.”

The others nod in agreement.

“Are you going to tell your parents yet?” Chanyeol softly asks Baekhyun, who sighs.

“Not yet. She’s still too… unstable. I think I’m just going to wait until she’s ready to come back to us.”

“That’s the best idea,” Suho agrees. “We don’t need them stressing out over her just yet.”

“No. They aren’t ready for Rayna yet.”

Kai laughs once without humor, “We weren’t ready either.”

He is right, they still aren’t ready for her.

“Wait…” Kai straightens up, his eyes now alight with his epiphany.

“What is it?” The boys ask, worry contorting most of their faces.

“Kris… You said that you were able to bring out the old Rayna, right?” Kai questions the taller boy, who nods with confusion. “And you said you were able to do that by bringing up an old memory, correct?”

“Yes, I brought up the time when I told her I’d take her flying… What is this about?”

“You mentioned a fond memory between the two of you, and the old Rayna came back. Not for long, but she did come back. Maybe… Maybe Baek’s idea is a good one after all, we’re just going about it wrong.”

“You are onto something,” Suho says, narrowing his eyes and wagging a finger at the younger lad. His eyes then brighten, “Do continue.”

“Baekhyun’s idea was to treat Rayna like we used to, but what if we just bring up old memories that we hold dear to us, and see if that somehow will cause her to fight against the power, and ultimately bring the Rayna we all miss back to us.”

“But we have brought up memories with her, and she didn’t budge,” Chanyeol whines, remembering when he mentioned the park to her.

“Instead of memories that we hold dear, we’ll have to use memories that she holds dear.”

“But… how exactly would we do that?” Lay asks, pouting faintly.

“I… I think I have an idea,” Kris sighs, thinking about the journal Luhan gave him. “I might not be able to gather much, but I think I might have something that could give us some insight on her memories.”

He ignores the looks of surprise on most of the boys’ faces, especially the suspicious glare he’s receiving from the ex in the corner.

“I want to ask how, but I don’t think you’ll answer me,” Suho says.

Kris nods slowly, “just trust me. I’ll think of something by the end of the week.”

~*~

Later that night, Kris finds himself back in his bedroom, the worn journal in his hands.

Luhan said that she gave him some insight into her past, mostly about when she was missing, but he did mention the fact that she talked about Kris. Maybe he wrote it down, maybe she talked about the other members also, and he decided that any information was vital information and jotted it down, just in case.

Otherwise, Kris made himself look like a fool.

With a sigh, he opens the book to the third entry and begins where he left off.

October 4,

Eighteen people.

That’s how many people Rayna said she has killed.

I didn’t want to believe it at first, I thought she was just trying to scare me, trying to make me take back wanting to help her, but I saw the sliver of pain and regret in her eyes, and I know she’s telling the truth.

I had to ask her how, her response was chilling.

“How do you think? You have the same power as I do. Have you ever gotten angry with someone, and imagined what you would do to them? Throw them into sharp objects. Lift them up into the sky and then drop them, watching them tumble helplessly to the ground? Pulling their body in opposite directions, watching it tear in half…? Have you ever pictured that, Luhan?”

I haven’t. Whenever I was angry with someone, I always wanted to destroy them with my words, I never viewed my power as a weapon.

But she planted those pictures in my mind, and now I feel dirty. I feel like my power is disgusting, horrible….

But back to Rayna. I asked her why she killed them and she responded with, “just because.” I asked her to further explain, and she just shrugged, “I was testing my abilities.”

But then her eyes darkened and she grinned at me and whispered, “And because I liked to watch them suffer. I liked the feeling I got, taking someone’s life. Is that wrong of me, Luhan? Am I a monster?”

Yes. She is a monster, but I have a feeling that it isn’t necessarily her that craves that power. Who gets off by taking the lives of innocent people. There is something sinister within her, and I hope I can dig it out of her. She can be a good person, I know because I’m sitting here right now, writing this down. If she were so bad, I would have died when I met her in the forest a month ago. That has to be proof of Rayna’s humanity.

It just has to be.

Kris feels like throwing up. Their precious Rayna is now a murderer. Kris can’t even picture her killing someone, smiling victoriously as the blood of the innocent splatters onto her face. It didn’t fit the image that he always recalled of her: in her white summer dress, hair blowing in the wind, smiling warmly and lovingly as she fingered the necklace the boys had given her.

Those were two different Raynas.

But that is the point.

October 6,

I decided today to try to get Rayna to talk about her past. For all I knew, Rayna probably wasn’t her real name. She didn’t want to give me much at first, plus Chen was sitting in my bedroom with us, making snide remarks every time she opened her mouth, which was both pissing her off and causing her to become mute. After I kicked Chen out, she was a lot more open.

She said that she got her power at sixteen, just like everybody else, and has only had it for three months. This is very interesting news, being that she is very powerful, like someone that’s had it for years, not months. Also, I now have an age. I assumed she was younger than me, but I was surprised to find out she was also younger than Sehun, who has only had his power for five months.

She told me that she has a step-brother by the name of Byun Baekhyun and he also possesses powers, although she couldn’t recall what his skill was. Something to do with the sun. She said that he and her befriended seven boys, and they too have powers. That is extraordinary. I never knew that there was more of us, especially so near. It was baffling, and Chen and Tao’s faces when I told them… They nearly fainted.

Anyways, she said that out of the seven boys, she had feelings for two of them.

This is when things get interesting.

First, I never knew Rayna to be a romantic, and the thought of her liking someone—even loving someone—sounded rather queer coming from her expressionless face. But, her demeanor changed once she began talking about them.

She mentioned a boy named Kris. She said that she used to have feelings for him that overwhelmed her. She told me that he meant everything to her, and that she was nearly obsessed. She shook her head and laughed at herself once she said that, and my eyes nearly popped out of my sockets from the gesture. It was so… girly.

She confessed that it was all one-sided, and that he never viewed her in the same light. She said, “He loved me, that I knew, but it wasn’t the love that I wanted—that I craved. He has no idea that he could have done anything to me, and I would crawl back to him like an abused dog. I was head over heels for him, but he felt like he was more of a brother to me than Baekhyun was. I was a little sister to him, and I hated it.”

Then she mentioned another boy named Kai.

Her eyes flickered with some form of light addressing this fellow, and my curiosity grew. Apparently, Kai was her boyfriend. She admitted that she didn’t really want to date him when he first asked her out, but she owed it to him. They had been friends for such a long time, and they were in the same grade and had been close for all those years. Also, she knew her feelings for Kris would never be returned, so she decided to forcibly move on, even if it would end up hurting both her and Kai. She told me that it was the most selfish thing she had ever done.

She said that the two of them dated for a little over a month, until she ran away. She told me that the two of them did a lot of things physically and… how can I put it? She experimented with him.

I asked if her feelings towards him were genuine and she shrugged. “It was still too early in our relationship to tell,” was her response. But I saw the way her eyes lit up when she began talking about him, and I think she felt more than she lets on.

I wanted her to tell me a little more about the other boys, since I was getting so much out of her today. I could slowly see life flow back into her, her cheeks gaining color, a sparkle softly twinkling in her eyes, a small smile hinted on her lips. These boys might be the key to drawing out the evil thing merging with her soul.

She then began blabbering more about Baekhyun. About how her father married his mother when she was five and he was six. Growing up, they weren’t really aware of the fact that they weren’t literally twins, because his mother always dressed them in matching outfits and always told people they were twins. It wasn’t until Rayna was eight, that she figured out about her family and that her father was actually hers while Baekhyun’s mother was his. She told me that she and Baekhyun were inseparable. They almost never fought and could confide in each other without feeling judged. She told me that he was the best brother she could have asked for and that he was her best friend. She didn’t have to say it, but I know what she really wanted to say about him: she loved him, and missed him very much. I asked her if she wanted to go visit him and her family, and she stared at me for a moment. Her eyes had softened drastically, but hardened after my request. The powerful Rayna returned, and she snarled a sharp no before storming out of my room, cutting our conversation short.

I think I would like to meet these eight boys, especially the three she had mentioned, I wonder if they could somehow exorcise whatever darkness is in her, and bring back the Rayna that was here before she was cursed with this power.

After he finishes reading this entry, Kris closes the book and rubs his eyes. At the rate he is going, he wouldn’t finish the journal for another month, but each entry holds too much for him to stomach at once. He can’t stop thinking about what Rayna revealed about her feelings for him. He was always aware of his feelings for her, but to make that the reason for dating Kai… and if Kai found out that she only dated him because of Kris… he’d never talk to the elder one again. Kai felt for Rayna what she felt for Kris, and his love only grew stronger as time went by. His heart would break if he found out that his feelings for her weren’t returned.

Or were they? Seems to Kris that he’d have to visit Luhan again, and see if he can find out more information about Rayna’s thoughts towards her former best friends.

But Kris knows that he’s onto something, and that Kai’s plan can very well work.

His fingers are crossed.

[rogertaylorislife]

Tomboy Troubles Roger Taylor AU

Just a roger taylor imagine that i wrote nothing big but yeah

Everyone at school thinks that you are a boy, but you are Clare Taylors Best Friend and roger Taylor’s best friend until you moved. Clare didn’t have anyone to go to prom with, and you being older by a few years had nothing to do on a Friday night so you decide to go with Clare. But when you meet Roger after you come back, he had changed For better or for worse? (imagine that you have short shaved hair, (Like Ben Hardy’s For example at the Oscars.) or any boy-ish looking haircut for this story to work)

You were the person who moved in next door to the Taylors. You came from America and your parents were both business people. You had no siblings and it sucked. Your mother always wanted a daughter, and your father always wanted a Son. You were never around your mum as much as your dad. You and your dad would fix the car on days off, and teach you how to fight for self-defence he said that you could have the car, If you could fix it. You ended up doing more things that a boy would do instead of a girl. All the kids that were on your street were girls. What they wished for was being a princess and going to meet prince charming and that they were better than everyone else. But no, your dream was to be either in a band, or a race car driver. Maybe a professional skate boarder you said, or a bmx bike rider but you didn’t really care.

You were riding your bmx bike down a street one day, and you heard yelling. You were in your usual baggy t-shirt and a shorts with high top shoes. When you were getting closer, you saw that it was a fight. You being, 8 or whatever you thought that it would be a good idea to go have a look. You biked over and you saw a blonde kid getting kicked up on the floor. They were calling him names, and they wouldn’t stop hitting him. You walked over after putting your bike down and walked over to them. “What do you think your doing?” you say as you pushed the person against the wall. They wouldn’t give you an answer so you threw him against the wall a little bit harder “Talk short stack before you cant ask me to stop.”. He said something along the lines of ‘Because he is different and he sucked at soccer.’ You beat all of them up and walked over to the blonde on the floor. “Hi love you alright? You look like Rocky Balboa after he fought Ivan Drago!” you said as you put your hand on his head. He said, “it all hurts, my body hurts.” He said as he started to cry. You then picked him up and started walking to your BMX bike. You put him on the seat while you stood up and started to pedal down a hill. He started screaming while you started to laugh as you went through all the streets until you got to the shops.

“Come with me kid.” You say as you walked into the shop and to the counter where your mother worked part time for more money. “Hey mum.” You say as you walked over to her. “Hey sweetie what happened?” she asked as she saw the blood on your shirt. You helped roger walk over to the counter as he was limping down one isle. “Yeah my friend.” “roger.” He interrupted. “Yeah, my friend roger got hurt and I thought that you could help.” You say as you help roger walk around to the back of the counter so your mum could take a look. “Yeah he is pretty bad, maybe some cream for the bruises and you just need to rest buddy.” She said as she petted his head. You nodded and helped roger back to the bike. You took roger home and that is where it started.

Your friendship blossomed and you were connected at the hip. You were the one that turned Roger Taylor bad. He was that good student at school, but you liked to mess around. You would prank the teachers, get into fights with other people and wouldn’t give a dam. You were a straight A and B student and you would love to play sports. But the day came when you had to go. You were 16 and roger was 15. You said that you would get a tattoo, to remember each other. On your wrist you had Forever is our today and Roger Taylor in cursive writing on your other one. On rogers he had who waits forever anyway? And your name in cursive writing in the other one. When you were leaving you kissed roger on the lips and said, “By my little Rocky, we will meet again yes? And if we don’t I will kick your arse when we die, be we will never break the chain right?” you say as you put a silver around his neck you have one exactly like it with your names carved in. He nodded and said “I love you.” and you said “I love you too.” You then walked to the car and you never looked back, never feared, never cried.

  You are now 22 Walking around at the back of the school/uni wearing a black hoodie and skinny black jeans is what you did every day after school while waiting for Clare. Wearing sunglasses was your choice and when you would smoke girls would look at you wishing that they could have a date. They would ask Clare every time if you guys were together, or if you guys were dating, but all you wanted to be was alone. You didn’t want or need anybody, or that is what you say to yourself because no boy would come up to you and ask you out because you are a ‘boy’ in their eyes. You were good at nearly any sport, and you didn’t give a shit if you break a nail, or if you got dirty. You would stand up for Clare when she couldn’t, and you protected other people when they couldn’t either.

You got snapped out of your thoughts when Clare came running up to you. “Y/N! hi” she yelled as she was nearly next to you. “Sup Clare how are ya?” you say as you keep walking with Clare. “Well the good news is that Prom is on Friday!” she said. “And…” you say sarcastically. “And I don’t have a date.” She said. “No one wants to go with me Y/N and I don’t know what to do!” she said as she was looking at the ground. Until her head shot up, “You could go with me!” she said as she turned to you as you blew the smoke out of your mouth. “What?” you say as you give her a serious look. “Yeah you could go with me! Everybody thinks that you are a boy anyway so why would this be any different?” she said. “everyone thinks that I am a boy, because I wear skinny jeans, and boy clothes all of the time.” You said while you grew nearer to her house. “Yeah but still please!” she said as you got to the front of her house. “Bye Clare, I hope you can find a date love. Bye” you say as you wave to her. “Bye” she said to you as she hugs you. You blew out some more smoke and put the cigarette out with the bottom of your heel. And you walked back to your house.

Every time you would go to uni, the girls that were younger than you we would ask you out to prom, but you said no you are not going. When class is over you go to the fence where you normally go. You pull out a cigarette and light it with you lighter. Then you see someone walking over to you. He had Black hair and he wore the most outrages of outfits. But you didn’t mind. “can I have one Darling?” he asks you as he walks and stands next to you. “Sure thing mate.” You answer as you gave him one. “Are you going to the prom?” he looks at you. “No mate, I’m not. But all of these girls keep wanting to go with me I don’t get it!” you say as you put out your cigarette. “Maybe they find you as an attractive man?” he said as he there away his cigarette. The word ‘Man’ but I’m a woman. “Well what if I told you that I wasn’t a boy? That I was a girl?” you say. “I would say your crazy darling! But who am I to judge?” he said as he started to walk back to his locker.

Friday Night

Friday came along too quickly. Clare said that she doesn’t have a date yet, but she is still going to go, because she doesn’t want to be that person that didn’t go. She said for you to have a good night and that you guys would catch up on the weekend. You got home and lay on the balcony. Your parents are never home, them both business people and going to different parts if the country for work and on business trips. You blew the smoke out of your cigarette, and you looked at the time. You realised that you didn’t have anything to do that night. You knew that Clare wouldn’t have left for prom yet. You walk to your dresser and pull out a suit, you have your ray bans as well. You think to yourself that you clean up pretty well.

                         What you look like LOL WE ALL LOVE BEN

You go to your garage and pull out your Black Ford Mustang 68. You hop in and drive over to Clare’s house. Clare said that if you are going to be her date you have to have something in common with her brother, so you just threw a pair of Drumsticks in your pocket. You pull up out of the front of her house and you see a green looking mini in the drive way. Must be her brothers you say to yourself. You get out of the car, and you walk up the steps to her house. With some roses in your hand and your sunglasses still on your face you knock on the door. You wait a moment until an older lady comes and answers the door. “Yes can I help you?” she asks kindly. “Yes I’m here to pick up Clare for Prom?” you ask. “Oh Yes but Clare didn’t say anything about someone picking her up?” she said. “Yes, it was a last minute sort of thing.” You said really convincingly. She looked at you for a moment and yelled. “Clare there is someone at the door!”  and you hear patter feet down the hallway. “Yes who is it?” she said and looked at you. “Surprise?” you say as you hand her the roses. Your drumsticks sticking out of the back pocket of your pants. “Thankyou!” she said as she hugged you. You even put more effort and put on some boy perfume to make it more convincing. Then a boy with long blonde hair walked down the corridor. “Who are you?” he asked as he looked at you. “I’m Clare’s date.” You say in a duh tone. You see her looking at you while you take her hand and kiss it. She giggled playing along.  “Bye now.” You say as you two walked to the car. You thought that he looked familiar but you couldn’t say who he was. You didn’t mind though, you opened up the car door for Clare while she hopped in. You closed her door, and went around and opened your door and got in. Before you could, you could still see the outline of Clare’s brother. Leaning up against the door frame, smoking a cigarette you could see the light of the cigarette light up his face every time. Next you get in the car and start the engine.

When you get to the place, you help Clare out of the car and link your arm in hers. You are walking into the Gym and walk through where you get you couple Photos. You keep your sunglasses on as you two pose for the photo. You guys walk into the gym and you guys are met with The Beatles and a lot of people dancing. You take Clare’s hand and lead her to the dancefloor. You are suddenly dancing and you look around. People making out in the bathrooms, people putting liquor in the punch bowls and all the other lonely people that don’t have a date, that would of been Clare, but being the person that I am, I couldn’t do that to her. You were currently dancing with Clare, when they were going to announce the Prom King And Queen. Yay! I cant wait to find out who they are.

“ok guys welcome to Prom! Now we are going to announce our prom King and Queen! Now our Prom Queen is….” Clare shoved you and you just laughed, “Clare Taylor!” “and the Prom King is…..” you just looked at Clare as they put the little crown on her head. Then the Prom King was announced and they had a little dance. You didn’t care, so you sat on a chair near the back of the dance floor and took a smoke. You looked at your tattoo and ran your hand over the top of the writing. You remembered the time when you first taught roger to smoke, You were around 14 years of age and that made his 13. You chuckled remembering the memory.

 Now you were at school, and Roger walks into the classroom and sits next to you. The class was over and the day was as well. You were in the theatre room and you were just watching something about UK history. You pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. You inhaled and blew the smoke in the air. “Are you even allowed to do that?” roger asked you a he was watching you curiously. “Yeah the smoke alarm doesn’t work and so it doesn’t pick up the smoke.” You say as you blow out more smoke. You smiled at roger and looked at him, “what have you never smoked before?” you say as you run a hand through your hair. “No never been allowed to. My father always did, but I could never, I never tried.” He said as he looked at you. You then stood up and walked behind him. You put a cigarette in his mouth, and told him to hold it. You them flicked on the lighter and lit it up. “Now inhale it a bit and then blow it out.” You say as you just look at him. He inhales and then starts to cough. “Don’t worry, it happens to everyone on their first time.” You say as roger keeps going. You laugh as you keep going. And now you laugh as you remember the memory.

By the end of prom Clare soon found out that they put liquor in the Punch bowl. She came walking over to you with her small crown falling off her head a bit and her uneasy on her two feet. “Enjoying yourself Clare?” you say as you look at her. “Can we go home now?” she said as she grabbed onto your jacket. You quickly jumped out of the way to grab her as she nearly fell over. You walked with her hand in hand to your car. You helped her in and you drove her back to her house. When you pulled up to her driveway you looked and saw that none of the lights were on. They all went to sleep. You took your jacket off and checked everywhere for a spare key but they didn’t have one. You jump their fence and look around the back for some kind of opening. You see that someone left their window open so you went back to get Clare.

Once you got Clare you threw yourself over the fence and with your legs either side of the fence you grabbed onto Clare’s arms and lifted her up and over the fence. You laugh as she nearly falls over. You carry her Bridal style over to where you could see to climb up on the house. You saw a few drain pipes, they had a little veranda out the back so maybe something there. You see that there is a wood looking frame, so that was your best option. With Clare drifting to sleep on your back you wake her up and say, “Clare we are nearly there I need your help love to get up.” So you put her on your back as you make your way up the wooden frame, and onto the roof. Once you got to the window you saw that there was someone in there, they had a drum kit and a lot of posters. ‘Must be her brothers room’ You think to yourself. You pulled Clare through the window, and quietly walked over the carpet to the door. It had a British flag on the back and you chuckle to yourself. You open the door quietly and see someone walking across the hallway. You freeze. He had long hair, by the outline. But he walked straight past you as it was dark and walked into the bathroom and closed the door.

“Clare where is your room?” You whisper as she wakes up. She points to one down next to her brother’s room. You walk her in as she undresses and puts on her pyjamas. You sat her on the bed as you took her hair out and brushed a brush through so it wouldn’t be hard to brush in the morning. You lay her down on her bed as she grabbed your wrist as you were walking away. You turned around and you looked at her. “Sing me a song?” She said as you turned around. You nodded and walked over to where she was. You sat on the bed and began to sing

Time Of your Life Green Day

You got up when you saw that she was asleep. You then started to walk to where her brothers room is. You open the door and you see no one is in there. You walk through and you see that the window is locked. Dam. You look around and you see Clare’s brother walk into the Room. You rush behind his bed and you duck down. You hope he doesn’t see you. Then you see he has a gap underneath his bed. You haven’t done this in a while but you slipped underneath the bed. You were met, with records, you lay in a pair of drumsticks, and a pack of cigarettes, you just slipped those in your back pocket. You saw feet walk over to the edge of the bed, you hear some noises and then you see the person’s pants fall to the floor, must be getting ready for bed you think to yourself.

Then you see him walk over to the dresser and you think is he going to open the window? You look and see him open the window and walk back out of his room. You then make your move and jump out of the window. You made a loud noise but you slid off the roof and walked to where their back gate was. You threw yourself over the top and walked to your car. You jumped in and started the engine. You drove off and back to your house. When you got home, you walked upstairs into your room. You walked in and went over to your dresser. You took your suit off and slipped on your pyjamas. Then you slipped into bed, but felt something poke into your back. You sat up and looked at the photo on your bed. You turned your room lamp on and took a look. It was a photo of you and roger when he was 15. You laughed and placed it back on your drawer. You looked up at the sky and fell asleep.

When you woke up, you had breakfast and threw on your normal black hoodie and a pair of Black Jeans. You went to you garage where you had your BMX bike kept. You pulled it out and threw a cap on backwards as your helmet. You rode out of your garage and went rode down your street. You saw that they had a skate park so you were going to go down there and see how good these kids really are. You keep your hood up and you ride into the park. You ride over to the halfpipe is. You go up all the steps and you kick off.  Your just doing simple turns and a few turns. You then go onto some of the jump while you then start hearing clapping. You look up and it is a blonde kid with long hair, maybe down to his shoulder blades? And he looked at you. “Wow good skills kid.” He said as he approached you while his friends were standing behind him. “Really? Wow never got congratulated before.” You say sarcastically wanting to drop this conversation. “Yeah so what are you doing at our skate park? Aren’t you a city kid? We don’t like city kids.” He said as his friend stood around you. “So what are you gonna do about it huh?” You say as you look him in the eyes. “I don’t know maybe a little lesson so you don’t come back.” He said as his friends push you over. You then got kicked in the face he came at it again, and you grabbed his leg. You pull it hard at yourself and he goes flying over. His friends then proceed to kick and punch you. You are now on the floor. Only if they saw you as a girl, they wouldn’t do this to you. The blonde kid then makes his friends pick you up, underneath the underarms and lift you up to face him. They take off your hoodie as you look at him dead in the eye.

You then proceed to say, “What is your name?” you say as you spit some blood out of your mouth. “Roger.” He said. “Roger who?” you say and his friends start to laugh. “Roger Taylor.” Then it finally clicks. The person in front of you is Roger Taylor, your childhood friend and boyfriend when you were 16. You look at him and he looks you in the eyes. “Now I’m gonna make a mark that you would never forget.” He said as you brings a pocket knife out of his pocket. His friends throw you to the floor, while you hit your head. You stand up and his friends form a circle around of you two. They wanted you to fight. Yay!

Roger was never good at fighting, when he fought you he never won. “are you sure you want to do this roger?” you say as you look at him in the eye. “Done it thousands of times.” He leans on his right leg more so he is most likely going to use his right for everything. Make his left hurt. He came at you with the knife as you ducked and sent his doubling over and face to the floor. He got back up and he sliced your arm with the knife. He then proceeded to try and punch your head, but you hit the knife out of his hands and sliced the inside of his thigh.

You then grabbed the knife as you jumped back on him and smacked him In his left rib. He ends up hitting you while you just keep hitting him. You feel his punches getting weaker and his face being more pale. You saw more blood come out of his nose while his hands are up trying to defend himself from getting more hurt. You stand up while he tries to grab your leg you just kick him harder so he went flying back to the ground. You didn’t mean to do this to your best friend but he tried to hurt you first, all out of self-defence.

His friends fled while he was just left lying on the ground helpless. You looked at him, he had hurt on his feature, blood on his face and his eyes were closed. He looked like a beaten angel. You picked him up while you biked to the shop. He woke up while you were riding down a hill, but this time he just looked up at you. You put your hoodie on him, because he was just wearing a white T-shirt. You pulled the hood over his head, and you pulled around the corner. Roger looked at what you were doing and he saw your wrists. Then Roger had flashbacks to when you guys were kids.

After I got hurt, I looked up and I thought I saw an angel, she asked me if I was alright I said yeah and she picked me up. I looked up at the sky and I saw her look down at me. Then my eyes fluttered closed and I fell into a deep sleep. When I awoke I was in someone’s chest and it smelt like male perfume. I looked up and it was the angel that saved me. We were speeding down a hill and out of memory I screamed when I felt myself tilting downward and the wind flying past me faster than ever. When I looked at the girl her hair was being pushed back by the wind. And showing all her facial features. I knew I fell in love with her then.

“Is that you y/n?” roger said in a whisper that nearly no one could hear. “Yes I’m here mate? You got beaten pretty bad how you holding up?” you say as you speed down another hill. You then stroke your hand though his hair and laughed at how cute he looked in your black hoodie. “What happened? How are you here?” Roger said as you turned another corner. “well let’s just say you tried to fight me and failed and I moved back here a few months ago, and I never saw you around so yeah.” You say as you stop at the shop. “Isn’t this the shop where your mum used to work at?” roger said coughing a bit out of pain. “Yeah It was, are you alright what hurts?” you say as you walk down an isle. “Everything.” He said grabbing onto you with every step he took. You went and grabbed some bandages, disinfected and some patches. You went up to the counter and also brought a backpack and a pack of gum. You threw it all on the counter and you pull out some money.

You pay for the stuff and help Roger out of the shop. “I can’t go back to my house looking like this, if my mum sees me like this she will make me go through x-rays for a whole week!” roger said as he grabbed onto you more. “Yeah that sounds like your mum. Did Clare go to Prom?” you ask as you sat roger down on your lap on the bike. “Yeah she did, she went with this guy I didn’t catch his name but she seemed happy.” You just laughed as roger held onto you for dear life. He was so precious. You got back to your house as roger nearly fell asleep. You picked him up bridal style as you brought him into the house. You opened up the door and you lay him on the couch. You woke him up and started to treat his well cuts. You took off his shirt and you caught roger looking. You flashed him a smile while his cheeks flushed Red. You laughed and hit his chest playfully but started to instantly apologize as he started to weez.

Once you cleaned roger up you walked back into the living room and found him snuggled into the couch, and searching for warmth as he looked cold. You went over to the couch and when you sat down, roger instantly snuggled into you. You chuckle and look down at him. He opens his eyes and looks at you. “I love you.” Roger said as he put his face in your neck. “I love you too love.” You say as you hold him in your arms.

[back-to-swift]

How I Became A Swiftie...

So, I was at this camp in 5th grade for a school field trip. I was 10. The counselors at this camp were singing Love Story the whole time we were there and I was like, ‘What is this song?!?!’ When I got home, I immediately looked it up and I fell in love with what I was hearing!! A few days later, I told my mom about this singer, Taylor Swift, and she drove me to Target and bought me Fearless. Not too long after that, she bought me the debut album as a surprise and omg I was instantly OBSESSED with both of these masterpieces!! I told all my friends and got some of them hooked! I would literally spend HOURS of my days locked in my room listening, singing, dancing, and even writing my own versions of these songs!! My whole life became Taylor! I looked up to her SO much! Fearless still holds such a special place in my heart because it was the first Taylor album that I ever listened to and the songs just bring back this feeling of nostalgia. They’re very special to me, so that album will always be one of my favs!

Fast forward to 2010 when Speak Now came out!! I was in 7th grade and that one really impacted me, as well. Junior high is an interesting stage in life because you’re trying to figure out who you are and you’re experiencing certain emotions for the first time. For me, I had this huge crush on my best friend at the time, so these songs really struck a chord with me. What really helped me through this time in my life was the prologue that she wrote for the lyric booklet. I also looked back at the Fearless prologue as well. Some quotes that stood out specifically are, “Words can break someone into a million pieces, but they can also put them back together. I hope you use yours for good, because the only words you’ll regret more than the ones left unsaid are the ones that you use to intentionally hurt someone,” and, “...I think the words you stop yourself from saying are the ones that will haunt you the longest.” Also, “There is a time for silence. There is a time for waiting your turn. But if you know how you feel, and you so clearly know what you need to say, you’ll know it. I don’t think you should wait, I think you should speak now.” The main quote that really really stuck with me and still sticks with me to this day is, “Fearless is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. I think it’s fearless to fall for your best friend, even though he’s in love with someone else.” When I took in these messages that I know came straight from Taylor’s heart, they helped me tell my best friend, and when he didn’t like me back in that way, these words also helped me be okay with that. When he fell for my other best friend, Taylor’s words helped me accept that, too. These albums became the soundtrack to my life. These songs made me feel less alone. They made me feel like somebody got me, somebody understood exactly what I was feeling. And even though I didn’t know her personally, I knew she was there for me. That’s when I knew she would start to mean so much more to me than just a singer I look up to. She started to feel more like a friend or an older sister who had all the advice I’d ever need.

In 2012, Red was released. It was my freshman year of high school. It was a time where everything was changing. I had changed schools for the first time in my entire life and I was still desperately trying to get over my best friend. This album came out at the perfect time. Songs like I Almost Do and All Too Well made me feel, again, like Taylor knew exactly what I was feeling. It was one of the saddest times in my life for a plethora of reasons. I felt insecure, I had to come to terms with the fact that this boy would never like me and I had to watch him and feel him grow further and further away from me, I felt lonely, I was fighting with my parents a lot, and I just was not happy, at all. The first few years of high school be like that sometimes, but thanks to Taylor, I didn’t have to feel completely hopeless and lost. I didn’t really understand the album fully at the time, but the songs on it that did resonate with me became a huge part of my life.

1989 came out when I was FINALLY getting over all that sadness and insecurity. I finally found the strength to let go of that guy and I finally had a solid group of friends who accepted me and loved me for me. I was getting along with my parents and I just felt a little more free. And what better album to become the new soundtrack to my life than 1989?? An album that is literally about freedom and becoming comfortable with where you’re at in life. Another reason why I loved this specific era was because it was the first time I ever got to go to a Taylor concert!! I was absolutely in love with the songs on 1989!!!! I went to the San Diego show with my best friend. We were at the very top, but it was truly one of my favorite nights ever. It still is to this day!!! I had just started my senior year of high school when I went to this concert. I was also new to the Tumblr scene and other fans inspired me to do a project. I cut out probably 100 colorful hearts and I brought them with me. When I got to my seat, I passed them out to people around me and I told them to hold them up during Clean. I wanted to show my love and appreciation to Taylor through that. I seriously can’t thank her enough for writing, “She lost him, but she found herself, and somehow that was everything.” That quote is exactly what I needed and it became my life motto! That night was so special and it’s one I’ll never forget.

Now, let me talk about reputation, which is personally, my favorite album ever!! I was a sophomore in college and omg, I was absolutely completely in love with everything about this album and this era!!! I still am!!! When Look What You Made Me Do dropped, I was driving. I blasted it all the way home and I swear, I SCREAMED every single time I listened to, “The old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Oh, cause she’s dead!” I am not kidding you!!! I was OBSESSED and also SHOOK. I was blasting it in my car outside my house and my mom came out and was like, “What are you doing?” And I told her that Taylor Swift just released the greatest song ever!!! When the whole album came out, my best friend and I filmed our reactions to every song. We screamed, we cried, we fell on the floor, we laughed, and we smiled. We still watch those videos and die laughing at ourselves being so shook every few months. I was fully immersed into this era because it was different and it was dark and sassy. 

When I first heard Gorgeous, I felt like the Taylor Swift entered into my mind and wrote exactly what I was feeling and how I acted whenever I liked someone. It was seriously so accurate, I was actually scared like WHAT?!?! Did I meet Taylor and tell her about my life and I just don’t remember or…??? Anyway, this era is special to me because I got to see my idol from the front row for the very first time in that whole decade of loving and supporting her. We got to our seats on the floor at the Pasadena show, but we couldn’t see ANYTHING because these tall guys were in front of us. So, my friend went over to the Shake It Off B-stage and asked security if we could stand there. Sure enough, she told us we could!!!! So we got to be front row!!! And I was on the edge right where there was a little opening for her to come out and go to the other B-stage. So, after that set, right before Blank Space, she walked right next to me. And I mean, if I reached out my arm, not even halfway, I would be touching her. Of course, I was too in shock to do anything, but holy shit!!!! THAT was the most iconic moment I’ve ever lived through. AND on top of it all, my friend won tickets for the next night!!! And that was the night Selena Gomez came out, AKA my other QUEEN!!!! I fell on the floor and cried, okay?? The two best nights of my life, honestly.

Anyway, I wrote this all to say that I cannot find the words to describe how grateful I am for Taylor Swift. She has been here for me for 11 years of my life… that is more than half of my existence. Her words made me feel less alone when times got hard, and they also made me feel more alive when times were good. I appreciate her for always being kind to us, sticking by us through all the ups and downs, and going out of her way to make us smile. I will never ever be able to thank her enough for writing the soundtrack for my life and for being the big sister I never had. I didn’t realize until right now, as I’m writing this, that each album came out at the perfect time in my life. Each album represents and fits each stage of life that I was experiencing at the time of each release. I can’t even tell you how much I love this woman and I will always look up to her. She means the world to me and I can only hope to meet her, hug her, and tell her exactly how thankful I am for her and how much I love and appreciate her. I can’t wait to hear Lover and analyze every word when it comes out! Thank you, Taylor, for everything.

Love, Carly

@taylorswift @taylornation

[daily-capaldi]

The Big Read – Lewis Capaldi: “I make jokes because I’m comfortable with who I am”

The breakout star of 2019, Lewis Capaldi has the midas touch and the world at his feet – but he still likes talking about his pubes and dreams of meeting a girl who'll break his heart for real. NME Deputy Editor Dan Stubbs meets the cocksure 23-year-old in Dublin for a Buckfast sesh and quickly discovers a legitimately hilarious talent who's far from the “big fucking annoying cunt” he thinks he is.

Lewis Capaldi is miming a range of sporting activities. He bounces an invisible basketball around the stage. He boots an imaginary football into the crowd. And after some minutes of this, he poses with an imaginary dart in his hand. Every time he mimes pulling back to throw it, he changes his mind and walks over to take a sip of Guinness instead – to the delight of the crowd. When he finally throws the thing, they roar with approval, before goading him into downing the rest of his pint. And of course: he does. 

It’s November 21 at the Olympia Theatre, Dublin. So far Capaldi has spent 10 minutes playing three songs and 15 minutes doing what, in the most affectionate terms, can only be described as dicking about. It shouldn’t be this funny to watch, but it really is. And the price of witnessing this spectacle? Depends when you got your tickets. A tout offered to take NME’s off our hands for €500 outside the venue. 

A year ago this may have sounded like madness, a sign that the world was heading to hell in a handcart and we’d be closing out the decade in a post-apocalyptic new reality, eating boot leather and watching jesters for entertainment. But in 2019, Lewis Capaldi has proved, conclusively, that what the world was waiting for was a pasty-faced, pasty-loving, 23-year-old Scot with an act that’s 50 percent heartbroken balladry and 50 percent improv comedy. And it is a worldwide thing – Capaldi is a global hit, a bona fide phenomenon. A superstar whose first encounter with NME is backstage, hurtling along the corridor clutching a handful of items. “Got my passport, my acid reflux tablets and my water – and that’s all I need!” he says, whizzing past. “And now, I’m off for a small pish.”

When listing Capaldi’s many 2019 achievements, they start to lose meaning, like contemplating distances in space, or making sense of the costings in the Labour manifesto. But here are a few: The Brits’ Critics Choice award. A Number One album with ‘Divinely Uninspired To A Hellish Extent’. A Number One single with ‘Someone You Loved’ in much of Europe, the US and the UK, where it spent seven weeks at the top. The hardest touring artist of the year, playing over 250 shows. A scene-stealing Glastonbury appearance.

If you’re to believe the stories in the Scottish tabloid press, Capaldi’s music can practically cure leprosy. He’s even had a beef with Noel Gallagher, once a mark of honour, but now a tussle with adversary so easily shot down it’s a bit like watching the moment someone first beats their dad in an arm wrestle. 

Yesterday brought news that Capaldi been nominated for Best Song at The Grammys, which in early career terms is the equivalent of being up for the Best Actor Oscar for your school production of Macbeth. “I’m up against Billie Eilish, Lady Gaga, Lizzo, H.E.R., Lana Del Rey, Taylor Swift…” he says. So he’s in there representing the men? “Yes, at long last!” he jokes. “At long last, straight white men finally have representation.”

“If I’m being honest, I did think ‘Old Town Road’ would be nominated,” he says, being serious now. “Maybe if I win I’ll Kanye myself. ‘This should have gone to ‘Old Town Road’! (But I am going to keep it)…’”

Capaldi is an expert at shrugging off his achievements. His unfaltering humility is a huge part of his appeal but even he concedes it’s starting to seem a bit forced. “When I read my interviews back, I always think if I wasn’t me I’d think: ‘you’re full of shite’,” he says. “Like, stop saying you can’t believe it. You can believe it! But it is so surreal and it seems like almost quarterly it kicks up a notch. Like, yesterday with the Grammys, yet again all this shit’s getting more and more mental, more beyond belief.”

Capaldi watched the Grammy nominations on his laptop, which was resting on his chest with the screen close to his face – a set-up he describes as his “home cinema” – and he admits he did get properly excited at the news. Mostly, though, he tends to find himself reacting to things how he thinks he should. 

“I’ve got a very bad way of being like, So you’re supposed to feel this way in this moment,” he says. Like when someone passes away? “Exactly, yeah. Like, four months after my grandma passed away, I’m like, ‘Fuck, my grandma’s died,’ and I’m in Somerfield or something. I mean, not in Somerfield, because it’s not been open for fucking years.”

Capaldi even plays down the success of ‘Someone You Loved’, the song that scored him the Grammy nod. In his eyes, it’s just “one of my songs that’s doing a little bit better than the rest”, but it’s already become a popular standard to sit alongside Robbie Williams’s ‘Angels’ or Adele’s ‘Someone Like You’, one of those tracks that will be soundtracking marriages and burials for years to come. Which of those would he prefer it be used for? “Burials,” he says, with no hesitation. “Don’t start falling in love to my fucking music, right? See if I see people kissing at my shows, fucking stop that! These are sad songs, you bastards.”

Like Lewis himself, a large part of the charm of ‘Someone You Loved’ is its absolute universality, which is not to say it’s banal, more that everyone who has lost someone at some point in their lives – which is most of us – can identify with it. For Lewis, it was the aforementioned loss of his grandmother that proved the catalyst for the song, but he made it more open to romantic interpretation because it felt “too morbid” to write explicitly about. 

And it didn’t come easily. Where other songwriters boast about dashing off huge hits in barely the time it takes to play them, Capaldi admits to labouring over his compositions. Writing songs, he says, is “a massive pain in the fucking arse sometimes”.

“Growing up I read interviews with people like Paul Weller, Paul McCartney – all the Pauls – and they’d say the best songs just sort of fall in your lap,” he says. “After six months at the piano writing ‘Someone You Loved’ I’m like, ‘You fucking lying bastards, that’s taken me fucking ages.’”

Many of Capaldi’s songs, which he endearingly describes as ranging from “big piano ballads to bigger piano ballads” draw on his first major relationship which – you may have guessed – is no longer a going concern. But it wasn’t a dramatic event. “Adele wrote her album about a relationship breaking up in a bad way, being jilted I think,” he says. “I wrote mine about a relationship that just ended, just fizzled out. I’d love to be jilted by someone, then I could be as successful as Adele.”

I ask if he worries that – at 23 – he doesn’t have a great deal of life experience to draw on. “I spent my entire life writing this first album,” he says, “but the stuff I’ve experienced in the last year has been much more of a growing experience than living in my mum and dad’s house in fucking West Lothian.”

How about the fact that his next girlfriend, whoever she may be, will be on different terms, it being impossible for her not to know she’s dating Lewis Capaldi the world famous pop star? “Well, I don’t know. It’s not like I’m Justin Bieber,” he says. “Today was the first time I’ve ever got out of the car at a venue and someone screamed. Normally people just shout something at me that I’ve said on Instagram about my pubes. I guess, at worst, my next partner would think I’m one way because they’ll hear the songs and think I seem very nice and level headed, but then find out I’m not.”

What’s the reality?

“Big fucking annoying cunt.”

It’s slightly unfair to question the depth of Capaldi’s life experience, because at the age most of us were familiarising ourselves with yo-yos, pogs or fidget spinners (delete as appropriate), Lewis was embarking on his music career. He began performing at 11, largely in pubs and clubs in the conurbation between Glasgow and Edinburgh where he grew up. The experience of having to hold his own in intimidating spaces at such a young age probably explains much about his easiness around people. 

“I found that at 11 it was, ‘Oh he’s quite cute, he came and stood up here and he’s doing very well.’ When I got to 14, 15 and my voice changed and I lost any remnants of cuteness – which as you can tell have not returned to me – that’s when I started to pick up a bit of the patter. You get to know your way about how to speak to people.” 

Around that time, Capaldi actively worked on changing his vocal style to something more like the wolfy howl we hear today. What was once a ”high and smooth” voice had broken. Inspired by Paolo Nutini and Joe Cocker, Capaldi added some gravel. “I thought it would be a good idea to put a bit of rasp in, to make it sound even more terrible,” he says.

For years we’ve been force-fed sensitive young men-next-door with beanie hats, beards or lumberjack shirts singing to us about their problems. In a quest for authenticity, they’ve presented themselves as troubled, serious souls. Capaldi, meanwhile, has given us the sensitive songs with a side order of toilet humour and the kind of prolific, creative swearing worthy of The Thick Of It‘s Malcolm Tucker, as played by his distant cousin Peter Capaldi. 

Stand-up comedians often make a point of referring to the most funny-looking thing about themselves as an icebreaker with the audience, a way of getting them on side. Capaldi has the same trick – there’s not a single thing about his looks or his music you could say that he hasn’t beaten you to. Try and come up something better than saying he looks like “a melting hippo”, we dare you. 

He has zero pretence – he’s a guy who can literally piss himself on stage and laugh it off. “That only happened once,” he says. “And I’ve always been like that, even back in school. If I was meeting someone for the first time I’d be like, ‘Hello, how are you? I’ve got diarrhoea and I could spew or I could blow at any moment. It puts me at ease, being honest.’”

“People think I make jokes because I’m uncomfortable,” he adds. “Actually, it’s the opposite – I make jokes because I’m comfortable with who I am. I say that I’m a chubby bastard because I am a chubby bastard.”

I put it to him that, possibly, he may be the first body-positive male icon – an important thing given Capaldi is part of a generation of young men who feel under enormous pressure to have an Insta-chiselled body. “I don’t know if I can accept that, because I probably don’t use the correct vernacular,” he says. “It’s probably not good to call yourself a chubby cunt, but it’s never been something that’s bothered me. I’ve been a very slim man, I’ve been a man who’s gone to the gym, but even when I’ve done that someone calls you fat anyway, whether it’s your ma, your da, your best pal.”

Capaldi hasn’t, as of yet, had any sort of pop star makeover. He still looks like a kid who’s moved out of home for the first time and is stacking up the washing to take to mum’s. He does, however, have a personal trainer on tour and has been exercising every day. “It’s more of a mental health thing,” he says. “It gives me energy and keeps me happy. I mean, when I’m actually doing it I fucking hate it so much, but it feels better after.”

I ask how his mental health is bearing up to his new everyday reality, an extraordinary experience for anyone to process. “That’s what I think about taking the piss out of things,” he says. “I take the piss out of doing things on stage and how mental it is because you have to, because it stops you getting caught up in it. Summer last year I started having massive panic attacks. I was supposed to do Austin City Limits but I had to cancel because I was just having panic attack after panic attack, and I thought I had something seriously wrong with me, because I’m a bit of a hypochondriac. And I went and got a fucking MRI scan. But they said I was just anxious, just recalibrating to this new fucking lifestyle. So I said, right, cancel everything for three weeks, and no one gave me any shit for it.”

At showtime, the atmosphere at tonight’s gig offers a glimpse of the bubble Capaldi is living in these days. The Olympia is a grand old theatre and Capaldi could probably have sold it out 50 times over; the reaction from the crowd is something like Lewmania. 

Afterwards, we head backstage again, where I’m ushered into a room containing about a dozen members of Capaldi’s family. I’m plonked on a chair right in the middle, handed a massive wine glass full of Buckfast by his cousin and grilled by his dad, a fishmonger and the very driest of wits, about my intentions for this article. He’s seriously proud of his boy, having supported him since the very beginning, even playing the supportive parent role when Lewis auditioned for Britain’s Got Talent aged 12. 

The afterparty moves to a private room at a nearby pub. Lewis’s hulking great cousin – the one who brought the Buckfast – is getting the shots in. His auntie is looking on, concerned, as two girls chat him up at the same time. “He’s only a wee one,” she mutters. While his friends and family enjoy the party and a certain NME journalist accidentally smashes the first of a series of glasses, feeling the effects of downing that Buckfast in an ill-advised attempt to curry favour with the family, Lewis makes his final rounds then politely excuses himself, looking a bit hangdog about it. He has another big show tomorrow. Sad to leave your own party, you imagine.

At points in the interview, Capaldi had been making a short, forced coughing noise, which he shrugged off as nothing. But the next week, he cancels a number of shows on health grounds, having been warned by his doctor that he risks losing his voice altogether if he doesn’t take action. In the end, he plays just four more gigs of the UK leg of the tour – in London, Edinburgh and twice in Glasgow for the homecoming finale. All further activities are cancelled by management, including a follow-up NME interview, but he is sent to complete the year’s touring commitments in the States before heading home for a well-earned few days celebrating Christmas with his family, which he says typically involves plenty of booze and lots of piss-taking. If you think you’re feeling ready for the break today, spare a thought for Lewis.

Next year looks to be just as busy as this one. He is, right now, just about the most in-demand young man in the world. At some point, he’ll have to start thinking about his next album too. “I don’t know what the fuck it’s going to sound like, I don’t know what the fuck it’s going to be,” he says. “Ballads, havin’-it tunes, I don’t know. I’ve got voice notes, melodies, stuff like that, but that’s just me and an acoustic guitar.” 

Considering what he said about his hypochondria, it’s likely the idea of losing his voice is weighing heavily on Capaldi’s mind. But he’s already decided there’s a backlash coming anyway. “You do get warned, as you’re coming up: ‘By the way, everyone’s gonna turn on you pretty soon’,” he says. “I guess I’m always just kind of waiting for it. I’m very doomsday. Like, if it’s not happened yet, it’s gonna come. And I can’t wait for the downfall!”

He might be surprised. People have plenty of different reactions to Capaldi’s music, but it’s pretty much impossible to find someone who doesn’t think he seems like a bloody great bloke.

And besides – if he ever finds he can’t sing, he’d make a killing at The Fringe as a physical comic. 

The extended edition of ‘Divinely Uninspired To A Hellish Extent’ is out now

[erikawritesss]

✨Old Story Piece: “Mine.”

I title the things I write sometimes. Taylor’s name (is one I love for some reason) and apparently a while ago when I wrote a requested blog ..... I like stole the idea and look of her (name, personality, etc) and just used it for her little blurb with Rowan. I feel like Rory is kinda like Rowan... but Rowan from my little ask request was more of like... idk shy? But more of a Top/Tol. Where in this story/blurb thing Rory is like smol and a little more... fiery?

Anyways here this super unedited story piece/blurb thing I wrote sometime in Aug 2016... when I was still 15. Hope y’all enjoy! Or just lmao idk read it. 🥺❣️

  Taylor laid her head on Micah's tan bare chest and sighed. Her short platinum colored hair splayed across his torso and she shuffled running her legs along his in a plea for attention. When no movement or sign of acknowledgement came from him she groaned. Lifting her head she stared at his strong yet smooth features relaxed in sleep. She shuffled again in irritation at his unwillingness to wake up and sighed in delight when she sees his lips twitch.

  Taylor doesn't resist the urge to run her fingers down his smiling pink lips, then her down his cheeks and jawline on his slight five o'clock shadow. She wiggles again and squeals when he nips slightly at the top of her index. She calmly places her cold feet against his warm ones and smirks as he hisses and flinches back.

  "Come on Tay," Micah laughs as he attempts to sternly reprimand the short haired girl on him, but fails as Taylor once again cuddles closer. With closed eyes he tries again, "Taylor, Princess I'm sleeping." She snorts and buries her head further into his arm.

  "Aw, does your highness want attention?" Micah says jokingly, but slowly looks down concerned at his blonde when she doesn't immediately counter back at him with a quick snarky comeback. "Princess? Is there something bothering you? 

   Taylor rolled to her other side with her back facing Micah as to not look him in the face as she spoke, "It's Rory babe."

   Micah groaned behind her, "Not this again. I thought you'd promised me we'd leave this alone. I'm with you I promise I'm not-"

   "Dammit Micah not that. I'm worried about her." 

   Taylor twirled her shoulder length hair delicately along her fingers. "Its just ever since that day she's been acting off and avoiding the both of us. And on top of that she went to that party tonight without me. She doesn't even like parties. I'm always the one to push her to go to them." Taylor glowered to herself and rapped her arms around her midsection. 

   "Babe, maybe she just wants a break from the both of us." Micah whispered behind her rapping his arms around her as well. Taylor's stomach collapsed in worry, "But Jesus why? We are her best friends. Me especially. She should talk to me. Why would she want a break from us?"

   Micah shushed his girl friend as her octave slowly rose with her body that was now sitting up in bed in a frenzy. Taylor kept going.

"I'm her best friend-"

"Taylor..."

"-she should come to me-"

"Taylor..."

"-if something is bothering her-"

"Taylor..."

"-I mean I'm the only one that could-"

"Taylor!" Micah screamed still laying down on the bed. Her blonde head whipped around and glared down at her boy friend, "What?!"

 "Maybe she couldn't. Talk to you that is. Maybe she has something she couldn't say to you directly, because it would affect...stuff."

  Taylor blinked her grey eyes at him flatly and Micah groaned, "Taylor you've messed with her enough. Me and her actually. You think that you wouldn't be sick of hanging out with people who pursue you constantly who are suppose to be your friends. You've crossed lines Tay. Lines that friends shouldn't cross." 

   Taylor let out a small breath, "But Micah we crossed them. We were friends before we were anything. She got us-"

   "-together. I know. But think about how that must have felt. To have gotten her two best friends together because they were circling around each other without properly asking each other out for all of high school. And then having to deal with them all sophomore and junior year?"

  Taylor laughed, "Micah we weren't that bad. We never left her like other people do when they get a boy friend or girl friend."

Micah chuckled and tugged her back down, "True. But that's the problem, we were always with her and we were all over each," he nibbled on her ear for affect and smirked as her breath hitched. "We were practically in the honeymoon phase and she was...dealing with her own relationship issues." His voice lowered in a tone of anger.

 "Micah..." 

  "That guy was an asshole and we were so rapped up in each. We just let him..." 

  "He took her virginity and bounced." Taylor joked and jumped when Micah pinched her waist. "Oh come on, she's the one that made that joke. It's been two years."

  Micah growled, "Doesn't matter, he shouldn't have touched her. He had no right to-"

 "He was her boy friend," Taylor reminded her boy friend in a singing chirpy voice. Micah's jaw clenched and Taylor lifted her head to stared down at jealous boy friend. He blinked angry electric blue orbs at her and sighed through his nose. 

  She quickly distracted him before he went on a rampage much like every other time he got jealous of someone being around his girls. Taylor long ago realized how much Micah cared about their girl, Rory. Even if he refuse to admit it to himself. No matter how long she pestered him. 

  "Okay, forget about that. So me and you are all lovey dovey and shit. But so what? She's never had a problem with us being together." Taylor said with a sigh into Micah's neck.l

  Micah laughed, "Lovey dovey and shit? You're so romantic Tay."  He ran his hands over her soft platinum locks.  "Its not that, that bothers her Tay. It's the...changes. You've went from being with me to suddenly trying to make me be with her."

  Taylor scoffed, "I've done no such thing."

   Micah pinched her again and this time she squealed. "The fact that you talked all proper just now to deny it, proves you have been princess. You've been pushing her and I into situations with each other. Hell you've pursuing her yourself, don't think I haven't noticed Tay. I love you Taylor, so I'm always gonna be here, but maybe she needs a break. Maybe she doesn't like the idea of being pushed with me," Micah looked away almost sadly, but as quickly as the hurt over took his features, it was replaced with anger. "I don't even know where it's come from. We've been together for two, almost three years. Do you suddenly not want me is that it? Trying to get with her or make me be with her, so we aren't together anymore. We can't use her like that."

  Taylor sighed and sat up once again, "Shut up Micah. You sound stupid, of course not, I love the both of you and I'd never use her. Micah, I do what I do not to get rid of you. I do it cause I see the way you look at her, I know how you feel about her..." She watched Micah's features pale. "I know you think of her sometimes...I know it's not innocent. And I know despite what you say, you don't think of her like a sister. You just got jealous of her being with another guy just now for crying out loud."

Micah was quick to defend himself with cheeks that were far past pink. It was a nice color of him. "I don't! What makes you think I like her? I'm not even-I don't even feel anything..." He flustered more as Taylor smirked down at him and he sat up for leverage.

  "I don't like her. And I was only jealous cause-what am I saying!? I'm not jealous. I just don't like that guy using her. No one deserves that." He huffed.

And Taylor giggled, "Oh dude, you are so into her. You're into her green eyes. Into her long brown hair...and her lips..she has really full lips..." She kept going as the redness rose to his ears and his breathing levels went up. "Micah you seem nervous? Is that it? Let me guess you like her lips? Or no, you like other things?"

   Micah groaned and shifted besides her, "What about less physical things like her personality or her cute little laugh?" He froze as he realized his mistake, " I mean-"

   "Ohhh, so you think her laugh is cute? And you love her personality?" Taylor said with a infectious laugh and soon Micah was laughing too. 

  "Tayloooorrr." Micah blushed again when she smiled suggestively at him. "Stop it."

   Taylor giggled. "Okay okay. But admit you think she's cute."

    Micah smiled, "Okay fine she's cute ish. Doesn't mean I like her though." 

   Taylor narrowed her eyes, "Oh really? Well want to know why I'm worried about her? Because she hasn't texted me since she went to the party just to make sure in her 'subtle way' that we aren't gonna be there."

  Micah leaned back against the headboard, "So? What's that gotta do with me? I'm not her boy friend, I'm yours. She doesn't even have a boy friend." He sounded quite smug about that fact. 

  Taylor smiled innocently, "Yeah, you're my boy friend. She doesn't have one. Can you imagine her at that party single?"

  Micah's body tensed. Taylor smothered a laugh. 'Got him,' she thought. 

  "I wonder what she's wearing." Taylor fake pondered. "I know you're probably thinking you don't care, but can imagine if she's wearing something skimpy."

  Micah popped wider, "I hardly think she'd-"

  "Micah babe I don't know. I think she could be wearing anything. You know it's Matt's party right?"

  "Matt's? Don't his parties have-"

  "-a skimpy dress code?" Taylor laughed, "Oh hell yeah. She's probably in shorts and a cute top...unless she's like in a short dress. I know she had that blue one? Remember that one she brought at the store when she was shopping with us?"

   "I remember." Micah's voice had gotten extremely deep. She smothered another laugh, he was so cute.

  "Damn, if she's wearing that then guys would be ALL over her. And like you said she's single.-" Micah growled and she went on, "God I hope she's not drinking. All those boys around. She gets so playful when she's tipsy, but drunk? She gets frisky."

   Micah's jaw flexed, "They'd take advantage of her." Taylor spoke, "Well I mean it's not like  she wouldn't want it...that's why I'm worried. Imagine those stupid fuck boys. Their hands would be all over her and she'd be showing skin." 

  Micah pulled away from her abruptly and stood up. He pulls his keys from the nightstand by her bed, "That's it. We are going to fucking find her right now."

  Taylor stares at him as he looks at her frantically, "Tay come on!"

   "Pretty bold moves from someone who doesn't like a girl."

   Micah runs his hands through his hair a common sign of his for being anxious, "A friend could-"

   "Micah!" Taylor cut him off. "Okay fine Taylor. I like her but I'm with you, and she's not even-"

"I doubt that. I doubt that a lot."

   "I'm not good enough for her." He sighed and clutched his key harder. "I use to be the exact type of her person that hurt her. She's a hopeless romantic who just...Tay, I use to be such a player. I was-"

   Taylor kissed him silent, then pulled away. She grabbed his arm and sat on her knees at the edge of the bed, "So was I. But we are together. Both of us our different now. Neither of us deserved her before. That's why she was our friend Micah. That's why we found each." She ran her hand down his cheek as he tilted his head down, "But we are together now. We can't try to be with her, it wouldn't be fair. No matter how much I-"

  Taylor interrupted him, "-we. We both want her. But...I understand. But she wants us back, I know she does. She hides it better than you do that's for sure, but it's cause she doesn't know. She can be the most analytical person ever and she could read other people so easily, but when it comes to stuff involving her she's so damn oblivious."

  Micah chuckled fondly, "How do you know she's just not interested. We are exactly alike, maybe we are too much for her."

  Taylor smirked, "Are you kidding? She likes us most definitely. How could she not? And who would say no two being offered two different people? I know my best friend trust me." Taylor rapped her arms around Micah's neck and smiled at him, "She thinks she's got it all figured out, she doesn't want us to corrupt it, she doesn't want us to not want her back. We are together after all. It's why she hasn't said anything. She cares about us just as much if not more than we care about us. Her heart is big enough to love us, trust me."

   Micah leaned his head on her chest. "Why are you stopping me from getting her back here. With us. If she's not convinced, I wanna show her. We can show her we can take care of her. I can show her that I can take care of both of you." 

   Taylor smiled into his hair, "Something tells me you've been holding that in for a long time." She giggled when he groaned into her breast, "You know it would've been a lot easier to claim her as yours if you admitted you actually wanted her as yours to begin with." He groaned again.

   Taylor sighed, "Micah we can't go to her cause that would make it worse. If she's separating herself from us like you said, than if we suddenly barge in-"

  Micah growled on her chest and slid his hand between her bare midsection between her cotton shorts and sports bra, "Barge in on what? She's ours. Mine." 

   Taylor smiled in full agreement of his words, but she had to disagree with him before he got carried away, "Slow down hot shot. She's not ours, not yet. And that's not what I meant. If we try to force her out of the party it'll upset her. And you know her when she's mad." Micah bursted out laughing. 

   "Yeah she's something." He toyed with the bottom of her sports bra. He softly bit the top skin of her breast that popped from her bra and then looked up at her, piercing her with his cool electric colored eyes, "You are too, princess. Just cause I love her, doesn't mean I don't still love you. You're my world." She pulled his head up to her level and pressed her lips to his with a lack of words to say. 

    With his lips against hers, he pushed her back flat onto the bed. His hands swept down her sides awaking up all her nerves. Micah nipped at her bottom lip and let his tongue slide over it soothingly. With a hiss he rolls his hips down on hers and she pants below him. He pulls back and she leans up and attacks her lips to his upper neck mouthing against him as he sharply grabs her hips for control over himself. 

    He pulls back a little and out of breath he whispers her name, "T-Tay." Taylor trails her lips to his ear, "I know Mickey. I know. I love you too." He stares down at her adoringly and she leans back. She's quite a sight. Her short platinum straight her falls gracefully and effortlessly around her fair skin. She's panting and her breast rise and fall with every breathe she takes hypnotizing Micah. Her pupils are blown wide and her grey eyes are dark with lust. With cheeks painted rose, she smiled at him. God, Micah loved her. There were very few girls who would be okay to know that their boyfriend were secretly in love with both them and their best friends.

   Micah couldn't help falling for Rory being similar yet different to Taylor in every way possible; both of them being everything he ever wanted. And now knowing he could actually have both of them. His heart soared in his chest. 'He'd make sure he'd treat them both perfectly, they were everything to him,' Micah thought. 'He'd be damned if anyone laid a finger or tried to hurt either of his girls.' Micah reached across the counter and dropped his keys and picked up the phone instead. He calmly handed it to Taylor. "Call her princess. Make her come back to us."  

 ***

   Unknown to them, Rory was a lot closer than either of them thought. 

 

   Much like Taylor had joked, Rory was in the dark tight blue dress that she had bought with Taylor and Micah. Thinking about the experience had her checks flushing. Standing in Edge Look and being forced into the dressing room by Taylor as Micah sat to the side and watched her get manhandled with a smirk had her wanting to kill best friend. But it was walking out of the dressing room in the dress was the most embarrassing thing. Shuffling in the dress barefoot against the carpet floor as both her best friend and her best friend's boy friend had fallen silent and started at her with wide intense eyes. They had looked her like...

   Rory shook her head, no, it wasn't that at all. She had long convinced herself that the grey and blue eyes that had stared at her with an almost unrecognizable emotion had simply been surprise and approval of the dress; and not of the girl in the dress. Similarly to how she had convinced herself that if she put on the dress, despite the fact that Taylor had convince Micah to buy it for her, she would most definitely regret it. And she definitely regret putting it on. 

  Bryan, a boy in her advance calculus, had stopped her after class to asked her to come to this party that another one of her classmates (Matthew-she thought his name was) was holding. A lot had been bothering her lately regarding her best friends and she was almost going to say no. Till one of those said best friends turned the corner near the end of the hallway and glared daggers at Bryan hand was on her arm. That to be quite frank pissed her off, they had no right to treat her like a baby who couldn't handle herself. Thus quickly changing her mind. She needed some time to regroup herself away from her best friends anyways. Her friends, Taylor and Micah were dating and they were driving her nuts. 

   Despite the fact they were dating they seemed to draw close to her and bring out the most elicit reactions out her that she still refuse to even acknowledge. But if she didn't back up from the golden couple, Mr. And Mrs. Prom King and Queen, she was gonna lose it. They were so perfect for each other and it wasn't fair that they should feel guilty about how they felt for one other simply because Rory had stupidly caught feelings for both of her best friend. It was much easier to pretend she wasn't jealous when she wasn't around the couple who seemed to forever be on gushy mode and couldn't keep their hands off each other. It made her sick. Hell she was sick, to have feelings for two people so strongly who were complete different genders and were dating each other. It was completely unethical. This is what prompted her answer to Bryan to be yes. Bryan was a shaggy haired blonde boy with light blue eyes, he was cute and he was interested. She needed to get over both her crushes so she agreed to go to the party and meet him there. 

   That whole day she avoided her friends, and only texted Taylor before going to the party. 'They were "It" couple after all,' Rory thought bitterly. So of course it was possible they were going to be there, so she had to make sure. But according to Taylor, her single working mother had taken a 2 week long business trip and both her siblings had left earlier to their friends houses, giving Taylor the house to herself. Both Taylor and Micah had taken advantage of the alone time. 

  'Probably in her room.' Rory sulked at the time. This made her more determined than ever to go to the party and have fun without either of them, and most definitely not think about anything they could be doing in Taylor's room alone with no parental supervision. 

    That itself had been a mistake. Going to the party that is. Rory knew she hated parties. Or at least hated going to them with out Taylor to make fun of people with and Micah to ward off all the annoying drunk party goers, mostly male. It hadn't been that bad at first. She had gotten there and while the music was loud and the house had been in full party mode, it was almost hypnotic. She had grabbed a red cup and had drank herself tipsy in boredom cause while she wasn't irritated with the party, Bryan hadn't seemed to want to show himself. She had eventually gotten bored of standing in a corner watching people grind and basically have sex with each other out on the dance floor, if you could call the living room a dance floor. She began to walk around with stumbled steps and was actually genuinely surprised and hurt to see Bryan playing tongue hockey with a some girl in the kitchen. 

   'Damn,' she thought. 'Had her willingness to get over her best friends convinced that this guy had actually been interested in her. Ha, he invited her to a freaking party that should've been her first guess.' 

  Bryan had pulled back from the girl and had proceeded to try to grab Rory in some form of apology. "R-Rory. Baby-"

   "Um no. Don't call me baby, I'm not your baby. I think you got me confused with that girl who had your tongue down her throat." Rory slightly slurred and stumbled as she stepped back. "H-have fun by the way." She turned on her heel and walked straight out the party. She then proceeded to call herself an uber, because she wasn't a moron. 

   When asked where to take her Rory made the biggest mistake of her entire existence, well at least she thinks so.  She gave the driver Taylor's address. Rory cussed to herself as she stared up at the tan colored two story house before her. Before she could turn and tell her driver, who she already paid, that she made a mistake and to take her home he had already drove away. Rory sighed and looked to the sky. This was another mistake, cause being tipsy didn't exactly make her balanced and she felt her head sway and she barely caught herself before she tumbled into the pavement of Taylor's driveway. Rory groaned, 'Taylor's driveway, Taylor's front yard, Taylor's house.' She giggled, life had a way with fucking with her 

   Her phone went off and Rory jumped in surprise and blinked when she saw Taylor's home phone pop up as the caller ID. 

   Rory clicked the answer button and smiled, "Hellooooo!"

***

    Taylor leaned down in anticipation after putting the call on speaker and flinched back at Rory's loud scream. 

   "Rory? Bae, are you okay?"

   Taylor's stomach clenched when she heard Rory giggle, "Hiii best friend!"

   Micah slid up beside her and leaned his bare chest on Taylor's nearly bare back. "Tay, I think she's drunk. Shit I knew we should've went to get her."

   Rory giggled, "Nuh uh. I'm tipsssy." 

    Micah sat forward and leaned down to the phone, "Baby where are you? I'm coming to get you."

    "Sillyyyyy. I'm hereeeee." 

   Micah's eyes furrowed, "What? Baby girl stop playing. Where are you?"

    "I'm not a baby." Rory whined petulantly, "Stahhhp it. H-He...he called me that. No."

    Micah growled lowly, "Who called you that?"

    "B-Bry...um..Bryan...umm are you mad?"

     Taylor sucked her teeth, "I knew he was trying to talk to her." Taylor raised her voice for Rory to hear her, "Roar don't let him touch you! We are coming tell us where you are."

    Rory made a loud bleh noise. "Nooo. B-Bryan is..is t-touching someone else." And Rory sighed as if she was talking to two 5 year old that would not listen and spoke slowly, "I s-said I'm here sillyyy."

    Micah stood off the bed and walked away in frustration and Taylor groaned in irritation. Dammit why wouldn't Rory just tell them where she-

    "Oh shit." Micah exclaimed. Taylor's head snapped up to look at the dark haired boy standing by the window looking down, "Princess, she's actually here. She's dancing in the grass." Micah let out an incredulous laugh and whispered, "Thank god," before rushing out the door and down the stairs. Taylor was quick on his tail. When they reached outside Rory was no longer in the grass dancing, but instead in front of the door humming with a dreamy smile. 

   "Hiiiii besties. Took you long e-enough." Rory hiccuped and stumbled past them and with wobbly feet began to race her away upstairs. "Jesus," Micah raced after her and began to help her up the stairs. She stumbled for a few seconds and nearly hit a wall once she reached the second floor, but Taylor straightened her and lead Rory to her room. Micah promptly pushed the door open and watched amused as Taylor lead a now struggling protesting Rory to the bed.

   Honestly, it was less leading and more pulling and dragging from Taylor's part, with added retreating and whimpering from Rory. Taylor finally gave up and stood straight allowing Rory to slump against her and bury her head between Taylor's neck and shoulder.

 "Dammit Rory, why won't you lay down?" 

   Rory mumbled something briefly onto Taylor's neck and Taylor shivered as it touched her through. "W-What? Bae, I can't hear you." Taylor regretted this instantly as Rory rapped her arms around her neck and pressed tightly into her putting Taylor and Rory body to body. She moved her soft lips next to Taylor's ear and let out a soft whimper and Taylor's thighs clenched. Rory delicately ran her hand over her bare sides and up to her breast, sliding her finger innocently over Taylor's sports bra. Her finger felt hot, so hot. Taylor could feel them through the fabric. She could feel them slide over her nipples. "Fuck," Taylor moaned and gripped her sides tightly as Rory ran her lips on Taylor's ear slowly. 

   "I'm not tired."    

    Rory's voice snapped her back to reality. 'Shit,' Taylor thought. 'Rory drives me crazy and I almost just lost control.' Taylor looked up and by the door Micah stood with a fist clenched tightly on the knob and teeth digging into his bottom lip, his eyes were dark with lust. "Fuck, Taylor." Micah voice was beyond deep and was dripping arousal, "Let me take her..." He cleared throat, "I mean, let me put her to bed. I can handle her."

    Micah walked up behind her and lifted the small brunette into  his arms in a bridal position, "Come on baby girl. To bed with you before you drive my princess crazy. Little minx." Micah smiled softly when Rory rapped her hands around his neck and giggled. 'Ha,' Micah thought. She actually wasn't fighting him and letting him take care of her. And Micah loved to take care of her as Rory so rarely let him. 

   He laid her down gently and turned when she heard Taylor digging around in her dresser. She pulled out pajama shorts and a tank top, "I'm gonna change her into this."

    "R-Right now? Change her now?" Micah cleared her throat and as he was distracted Rory whimpered at no longer being paid attention to. From her place laying on the bed, Rory raised her legs up and rapped them around Micah's waist and her arms around his neck. "Mickeyyy." She whined and raised her hips up to his shifting. Micah was sure he was losing his mind at the delicate hypnotizing up and down movement of her crotch against his through his sweatpants and her hand trailing down his bare back. "R-Rory," he groaned. "Ugh baby, you gotta-" he panted as her nails dug into his back and her lips into his neck. 'What was with her and putting her lips all over them when she was tipsy?' Micah thought, 'Taylor wasn't kidding about Rory being frisky.'

   "Kitten," he groaned and his mind nearly snapped when he heard Rory moaned below him and Taylor whimper behind him, both of them shifting in place. Abruptly, Rory pulled him down completely on the bed and rolled him to her other side. Taylor couldn't help the laugh at the comical sight of small 5'3 drunk Rory, pulling a 6'3 sober and surprised Micah down into the bed. Micah bounced from his place on the bed and blinked in shock, "How the f-"

   Rory shushed him promptly and cuddled into his bare chest, "Sleepy Mickey." Micah couldn't help the warmth in his blood at the cute nickname Rory whispered, that Taylor sometimes called him. He softly petted her hair wavy brown hair till she slipped into sleep. Taylor had long moved to the edge of the bed and sat and watched the amazing display before. Two of the the most important people in her world were together before her eyes and she couldn't help beaming. Taylor crawled up and told Mickey to roll Rory over slightly towards him. With her body rolled to the side, Taylor pulled the zipper down letting her finger graze against the olive smooth skin of Rory's back. 

   Micah watched with electric eyes blazing hot like a blue fire. Taylor pulled the dress off Rory's shoulders and looks at Micah with a pointed look for the sake of her best friends modesty. Micah stared back at determined. She could beat him with a pillow he wasn't taking his eyes off either of them. Taylor broke under his intense stare. No one had a look quite like Micah she realized. With a resigned sigh she proceeded to pull the blue dress down and both her and Micah sucked in a breath at Rory's breast covered by a black lace bra. Taylor quickly slid her tank top onto Rory's arms and over her head, before she and her boy friend lost their nerve. She continued to pull it down off Rory's legs and pulled off her flats as well.

   Taylor and Micah chuckled together, even with a dress like that Rory refused to wear heals. Micah trailed his hands down Rory's bare thighs and sighed, "God cupcake, I can't wait till she ours. I can't wait till the both of my kittens are mine." He slid his hands slightly and watched his large fingers on her thick thighs. "Fuck I want you both." He watched Taylor slide her pants up her legs. 

   After this Taylor and Micah fixed Rory on the left side of the bed and covered her. They watched her shuffle for warmth till Micah slid in the middle again and she settled as she felt his skin and cuddled back into him. Taylor giggled at the soft look on Micah's face and blushed when he looked at her in an indecent manner much like usual when they were alone. "Close the light princess. Lay on my other side, I wanna have both my girls in my arms."

She quickly followed instructions and in the dark made her way into the bed on the right side. With one arms Micah pulled her close and pressed his lips to hers. "You guys are gonna drive me crazy, babe." Taylor rolled her eyes, "We aren't even doing anything."

   Micah pulled his hands from around and led Taylor's hand to his crotch and rubbed against his hard bulge. "You guys do everything to me. You feel that baby?" Taylor gasped and felt liquid pool in her underwear, "Y-yea." She began to move her hand down against him thought his sweats and was fairly certain he wasn't wearing any briefs or boxers underneath. "Oh god." Micah groaned and pushed his hips up into her palm and Taylor rubbed hardly as he panted. They almost lost themselves till Rory shifted besides them and they both froze. "Later," Micah panted. "Later when she's awake and aware. I want you both. I want you to touch me. I want you to make her touch me too." 

   Taylor moaned softly and leaned down into his neck. Her legs shifted against his. "Okay. Okay I will."

   "Good. Sleep now baby." Micah whispered and ran his hand through Taylor's hair luring her to sleep much like Rory. Micah smiled at his two babies finally his. He let the breathing of them both lure him into slumber and drifted away with the word "mine" on his mind. 

A/N:

Hey guys. So that was it! It was a story once upon a time that I was gonna fully write out. There was tons of scenarios on how it went but if it wasn’t clear by now.... it was a “Thruple” or “Ménage a Trois” relationship. Basically a closed monagomous relationship of three. Well the development TO THAT status, as far as when the story starts off.

The idea of it and the complications and the love and just all of it, is something I would still love to write and explore...I feel like I wrote this when I was young and there was a lack of representation in my cast, as well as some problematic💀 wild elements. But it was still mine ya know? And for being 15, my writing wasn’t that bad ya know? I feel like I’m sorta getting better, but sometimes I’m like lol it’s the same shit just prettier words. But this piece was 100% unedited! So I’m proud even with the mistakes and other stuff.

Follows the story of this girl nerdy girl Rory... who fell hopelessly for her popular best friend Taylor. And then got blindsided by her crush on equally popular devil-may-care (lol) Micah, Taylor’s to-be boyfriend. Lmao thinking back this entire concept is wild and kind of ironic in the worst way. Anyways. I thought the story of their romance like all of them was really cute. And there was multiple versions. Some of them falling for each other in different orders and them being much older in life sometimes younger, but this happened. Idk. I’m equally extremely proud and crippling embarrassed for having created this absolute brilliant garbage.

But anyways I hope you guys enjoyed it!❣️ May have more random little things I wrote for me to post. As embarrassing and wild as they all were.

I was really out her writing since I was like 7. And I only started to branch out more on paper and stuff, when I was like 10 and had my DSI. And I made visual comic art stories on Flipnote (those were the days!) and then I joined wattpad and started writing with my cousin at 11 or 12. And the rest was history. *Sigh* Memory lane is great.

Thanks for reading💗

Signed, Erikawritesss

[hexalt]

oh my god i think i like you

- you're pretty & smart & ignoring me so obviously you're my type. - i won't forget, i won't regret this beautiful, heart stopping, breathtaking, life-changing... - hey. you're the love of my life. you know that, right?

a rebecca bunch x greg serrano mega mix from season 1 to season 4, so there's A LOT OF MOODS. prepare to laugh, cry, and dance. cover completely inspired by cordeliafoxxy's mix fanmix challenge - ix. fictional relationships (groups, family, friendship, otp, etc.)

[ spotify | 8tracks (incomplete) ]

falling for the first time - barenaked ladies I'm so cool, too bad I'm a loser / I'm so smart, too bad I can't get anything figured out / I'm so sane, it's drivin' me crazy / It's so strange, I can't believe it feels just like I'm falling for the first time

i’m not gonna teach your boyfriend how to dance - black kids I'm not gonna teach him how to dance / The second I do, I know we're gonna be through / I'm not gonna teach him how to dance with you / He don't suspect a thing / I wish he'd get a clue / I'm not gonna teach him how to dance to with you

bartender - regina spektor Come on, bartender / You have got to kick me back out / Into the cold and nasty weather / And maybe if I sober up / I will stop / Pretending that love is forever / Come on, bartender / Love will be the death of me / Love is so fickle / It starts with a flood and it ends with a trickle

closing time - semisonic Closing time / One last call for alcohol so finish your whiskey or beer / Closing time / You don't have to go home but you can't stay here / I know who I want to take me home

settle for me - santino fontana Yes, Josh is a dream, but I’m right here / In flesh and blood and self-hate / Settle for me / In a sad way, darling, it’s fate

settle for me (reprise) - rachel bloom Why not just settle for him? / He's a nice, smart guy / And he and I / Do get along... / Well, kind of.

i really want you to hate me - meg myers I really want you to hate me / I really want you to find / That I am bitter and angry / That I'm the ugliest girl / And I will never be a bride / There's no love for the wicked / There's no love and / I wanna die

self esteem - the offspring I wrote her off for the tenth time today / And practiced all the things I would say / But she came over / I lost my nerve / I took her back and made her dessert / Now I know I'm being used / That's okay because I like the abuse / I know she's playing with me / That's okay 'cause I've got no self-esteem

feels like we only go backwards - tame impala I've got my hopes up again, oh no, not again / It feels like we only go backwards, darlin' / The seed of all this indecision isn't me / 'Cause I decided long ago / But that's the way it seems to go / When trying so hard to get to something real

shadowboxer - fiona apple I was on to every play / I just wanted you / But oh, it's so evil, my love, the way you've no / Reverence to my concern / So I'll be sure to stay wary of you, love / To save the pain of once my flame and twice my burn

happier - a fine frenzy Quick kid quick, so harsh and cynical / It's not the words that make it final / You've said such things before to rival them / But it's how you say 'em now that's changed / Cold but sympathetic all the same / Lie to convince me that I'll be better off / Oh, you go on and I'll be happier

tired - adele I'm tired of trying / Your teasing ain't enough / Fed up of biding your time / When I don't get nothing back / I get closer, you obviously prefer him

it’s you - zayn She got / Her own reasons / For talking to me / And she don't, she don't, she don't / Give a fuck about what I need / And I can't tell you why / Because my brain can't equate it / Tell me your lies / Because I just can't face it

the writing’s on the wall - ok go It seems like forever / Since we had a good day / The writing's on the wall / But I just want to get you high tonight / I just want to see some pleasure in your eyes / And I go too high, and you go too cold then we both fall apart / Then you bring your mind, to rest against mine / But the mind has no say on affairs of the heart

tear you apart - she wants revenge Either way he wanted her and this was bad / He wanted to do things to her it was making him crazy / Now a little crush turned into a like / And now he wants to grab her by the hair and tell her, / "I want to hold you close / Soft breasts, beating heart / As I whisper in your ear / I want to fucking tear you apart"

i gave you a uti - santino fontana One night with me is pure ecstasy / 'Cause I know just what you like / But you should know for a week or so / You won't be able to ride a bike / I gave you a UTI

oh my god i think i like you - rachel bloom I say, "No no no! This is just about sex!" / And "No no no! Don't be such a girl, Becks!" / But then I feel the oxytocin creeping back to my brain / And all I can do is sing it again / Oh my god, I think I like you

everything is embarrassing - sky ferreira Maybe if you let me be your lover / Maybe if you tried, then I would not bother / I've been hating everything, everything that could have been / Could have been my anything, now everything's embarrassing

like a friend - pulp I had one, two, three / Four shots of happiness, I look like a big man / But I've only got a little soul / I wish I could be an example / Wish I could say I stood up for you / And fought for what was right / But I never did / I did what was wrong though I knew what was right / I've got no wisdom that I want to pass on

slow disco - st. vincent There's blood in my ears / And a fool in the mirror / And the pain of mistakes couldn't get any clearer / Am I thinking what everybody's thinkin'? / I'm so glad I came, but I can't wait to leave / Slip my hand from your hand / Leave you dancin' with a ghost

about a girl - the academy is... Last night I knew what to say / But you weren't there to hear it / These lines so well rehearsed / Tongue-tied and overloaded / You never noticed / I'm not in love / This is not my heart / I'm not gonna waste these words / About a girl

twice - little dragon Twice I turn my back on you / I fell flat on my face but didn't lose / Tell me what led you on, I'd love to know / Was it both men / Thought I had an answer once / But your random ways swept me along

knife - grizzly bear I want you to know / When I look in your eyes / With every blow / Comes another lie / You think it's alright / Can't you feel the knife?

still - foo fighters Bring some change up to the bridge / Bring some alcohol / There we'll make a final wish / Just before the fall / Promise I will be forever yours / Promise not to say another word

false alarm - the head and the heart Visions of you dance through my head / Dark heroine of the books I have read / Pages torn out, I made up my own world / Deep in the dream, it's all built to last / You'll pull the plug, drain me down fast / So many stones, stuck in my shoes / And I know if there's enough / It could make up a road / That could lead me far from this town

georgia - vance joy She is something to behold / Elegant and bold / She is electricity / Running to my soul / And I could easily lose my mind / The way you kiss me will work each time / Calling me to come back to bed / Singing Georgia on my mind

anyone who knows what love is (will understand) - irma thomas You can blame me / Try to shame me / And still I'll care for you / You can run around / Even put me down / Still I'll be there for you / The world / May think I'm foolish / They can't see you / Like I can / Oh but anyone / Who knows what love is / Will understand

i wanna get better - bleachers I didn’t know I was lonely 'til I saw your face / I wanna get better / I didn't know I was broken 'til i wanted to change / I wanna get better

it was a shit show - santino fontana We can't undo, can't make amends / Dysfunction is our lingua franca / When you say that I should stay / That's exactly when I should split / Though I won't forget, I won't regret / This beautiful, heart stopping / Breathtaking, life-changing...!

vertigo - anya marina The song you sing is sentimental / The song you sing is making me well / I like it, like it, outta control / The song you sing gives me vertigo / I was singing to myself / Pretending you were there

santa monica dream - angus & julia stone I'm singing songs about the future / Wondering where you are / I could call you on the telephone / But do I really want to know? / You're making love now to the lady down the road / No I don't, I don't want to know / I'm somewhere, you're somewhere / I'm nowhere, you're nowhere / You're somewhere, you're somewhere / I could go there but I don't

weary blues - madeleine peyroux Lord knows it died the day you left / My dream world fell apart / Weary blues from waitin' / Lord, I've been waitin' so long / These blues have got me cryin' / Oh, sweet daddy please come home

love is a losing game - amy winehouse Love is losing game / One I wished, I never played / Oh, what a mess we made / And now the final frame

hello, nice to meet you - rachel bloom & skyler astin Pleased to make your acquaintance, stranger / I've spent many years processing my anger / Wouldn't know what to say to the person I knew / But it's nice to meet you

enchanted - taylor swift All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you / This night is sparkling, don’t you let it go / I’m wonderstruck, blushing all the way home

505 - arctic monkeys I'm going back to 505 / If it's a seven hour flight or a forty-five minute drive / In my imagination you're waiting, lying on your side / With your hands between your thighs / But I crumble completely when you cry / It seems like once again you've had to greet me with goodbye

forget forgive - someone Bad thoughts pushing at the neck / Puts pressure on the chest / Calm sorrow / Forget / Forgive

warning sign - coldplay I’ve gotta tell you what a state I’m in / I’ve gotta tell you in my loudest tones / That I started looking for a warning sign / When the truth is, I miss you

fine with me - rizzle kicks Spit out the bitter when life isn't sweet, yeah / That's fine with me, fine with me / Just for today, if nothing goes my way, well / That's fine with me, fine with me / 'Cause I'm in the place / Where nothing could happen / To the smile on my face

warm body - cafune Give me all your heartaches and I'll push them down the drain / There's no need for voices that aren't singing this refrain / Say all you want, just stay / You just need a warm body / I'll be your install, I just need your warm body / Everybody knows, they just need to talk about it / Stay this way, hit replay

stop desire - tegan and sara I can't deny I'm begging for attention / Dropping hints, hoping for some tension / Getting tired of making all this racket / Waiting on you to get your ass in gear / I didn't wanna be so invested / I played it cool and then I overdressed it / Get me, feel me, want me / Like me, love me, need me

she’s so high - tal bachman First class and fancy-free, she's high society / She's got the best of everything / What could a guy like me ever really offer? / She's perfect as she can be, why should I even bother? / 'Cause, she's so high, high above me / She's so lovely

i really like you - carly rae jepsen I need to tell you something / I really, really, really, really, really, really like you / And I want you, do you want me, do you want me too?

sweet - little dragon Sweet, that feeling when you know you're hooked and you can't get enough / Sweet, that feeling when you're skating down the avenue of love / Sweet, I was checking on your phone because this sweetness is drugs / Sweet, can't get enough, not giving up

i hate everything but you - skyler astin I hate the phrase "Love conquers all," and I hate that it's true / 'Cause I want to not hate things when I'm with you / You love so many things and you have so much fun / It makes me wish my hating days were done

love natural - crystal fighters It's almost midnight, the time is coming up / The time is getting closer, the time is almost here / Life is upon us and the time for love is here and now / When I look at you, oh I feel my heart / Oh, I feel your love deep inside

do it again - santino fontana My lips just ache to have you take the kiss that's waiting for you / You know if you do, you won't regret it, come and get it / Do it again, please do it again

the sword & the pen - regina spektor Don't let me out of this kiss / Don't let me say what I say / The things that scare us today / What if they happen someday / Don't let me out of your arms / For now / I don't want to live without you

sea of love - cat power Do you remember / When we met / That's the day / I knew you were my pet / I wanna tell you / How much / I love you

[readingthelastpage]

Calvin, Tom and Joe in the context of Gaylor

so the consensus in the Kaylor fandom is that all of these were purely PR relationships made up to hide her gayness, and the proof was that Taylor is a lesbian in a long-term monogamous endgame relationship with another lesbian, Karlie. I don’t share this opinion, and yet when I prod at these relationships, my overwhelming conclusion is that they are conducted for the public. Gaylor Swift (Taylor being fluid or bi or gay) and songs inspired by her love of women (like Karlie) factor a little bit into that, but the reason why I have this feeling is the reality of Taylor’s image at the time she was publicly linked to each of these men, and the things I assume about Taylor’s creative process.

here’s the deal about 1989: Taylor’s glossy pop single gal makeover is celebrated, but she is still mocked. the love songs aren’t super sad breakup songs, but they aren’t happy love songs either. she says she would love to write an album about a love that shines golden if she ever finds it - it’s obvious that, for Taylor to shed her image of kinda sexless and mildly immature young woman, being a single feminist with a girl squad won’t work as a public image - and it super stops working when the media publishes images of her and Karlie snuggling at a concert. she needs to date someone who is kinda older (but not innapropriately so), not a teenybopper but considered hot by Taylor’s generation, both respected in his field (that has to be different than the typical Taylor date of either actor or pop singer) and up-and-coming in popularity. Someone kinda worldly, maybe foreign.

If it sounds like I just described Calvin, I did! Honestly, dating him for longer than a year was the best thing Taylor did for her public image, for her overwhelmingly hetero audience who want to see her succeeding in her love life. She can now “”””keep a man””””, and a cool man at that, someone who hasn’t been seen as a star-chaser and who hasn’t been involved in PR-relationships. But Calvin wasn’t the best person, he publicly embarrassed Taylor several times and is generally volatile and her fanbase begins to dislike him. He’s not the way to go.

Except Taylor still wants to write about her golden love. TS6. Lover. (Karlie). The good stuff, the good feelings. Someone hot by her side she has cocktails with on a private beach, so handsome they make her jealous and high above the whole scene.

Here’s something controversial: I don’t think Taylor’s albums are a perfect diary of her private life. Anyone trying to “prove” any theory or timeline via them will have a very difficult time. I do think she writes about the real feelings she has experienced (with maybe some artifice in the specifics), but the songs she will put on her album will connect to the story about herself she wants to tell that era, just like her different image each era will communicate different things.

In other words: it’s not that Taylor writes a bunch of isolated happy love songs about Karlie or a bunch of isolated on-and-off again songs about Dianna and conceptualizes her next era around that batch of songs and picks a public muse based on that, to cover up for the real inspiration. Rather, the real inspiration is her life and feelings, she picks the songs and the concepts based on the story she wants to spend a few years performing and telling in the next era, the image and the boyfriends follow.

I don’t have any concrete evidence for this. It’s just my feeling based around being around musicians, being a fan of musicians and investigating into their creative processes, and being a creative type myself and seeing different things about Taylor’s journey. REP is about a very isolated incident in Taylor’s life, but also giving the middle finger to the haters (and, as it turns out, her crappy label) because she has a hot lover and real friends. We know Taylor went through a lot more shit at the time she wrote about these things, but this is the story she wanted to keep telling, possibly to pick herself up, keep herself strong, and for an image benefit. There’s nothing the public loves more than someone owning their mistakes, rising from the ashes and at the same time living a good life. Putting other songs on REP would have muddied the message.

Here’s how I think it went down: Taylor goes through her storm. It becomes clear to her that she will address the storm on the next album. She also will not give the next album to her crappy label, and will have to leave all the old Taylors in the past so she can break free with Reputation and then have the Lover Paradise Butterfly concept. The LWYMMD video is pretty clear as a retelling of that. However, Taylor still has happy love songs in mind and will not spend the next era single - she wants a public partner, not just to cover for the “paternity test” because she doesn’t want the songs tied to Calvin (or Karlie), but because that’s the right PR move to pull in light of the Tayvin breakup.

Enter someone also handsome, enviably so, worldly, funny, broad-shouldered and supportive and - key difference from Calvin - a good sport and agreeable and fun. She attempts to create a whirlwind romance fast with Tom and really there’s no reason why it would go wrong... except they go overboard and it does go wrong. It works on paper but the way they captured all of that looks freakin’ silly, that silly shirt appears, and people go nuts. Taylor gets rid of him very fast. Now she has two romances she doesn’t want her love songs tied to. I don’t think it’s a coincidence she spread the word of Joe on her secret sessions and specifically said all songs are about him, because some of these details really bring me back to specific Hiddleswift and Tayvin public moments she has created. Not a great start for a new era. She would definitely want to go away for a while, regardless of whether or not she is creating space for another public romance or not. Maybe the realization Karlie and her aren’t the endgame she was writing about or thinking about happens right then and there when she disappears, maybe it’s earlier or later.

Joe is a bit of a mystery just because he is such a ghost. There’s no question that not all of the time Taylor spends in London is for work, and there’s no question that at least some of that time is spent with Joe. Sometimes I wonder if she is with someone in his particular inner circle (though there is no need for that really), and sometimes I wonder if she is really with him. But one thing is absolutely clear: in him, she has found her ideal public relationship. A blank canvas, he could be made into anything her team wanted. She could write any future love songs “about him” and no one would question it. It corrects for all things in her previous public relationships (especially Hiddleswift) and it’s perfectly stable and allows her to have the pop star life that’s more in tune with her sensibilities: both glamorous and lowkey, both cool and kinda boring. It would be a big coincidence if she happened to find the perfect boyfriend for her golden love album and mature pop star era. It’s especially suspicious that he was projected to be the next big serious yet mysterious leading man right around the time they hooked up, and then, purely by chance, his career just didn’t blow up like it was expected to. I’m not saying it’s impossible that they are real. But so far... I’m going with PR because it’s a little too perfect.

People constantly question the benefit of Joe for Taylor. With him, she is so private and boring and gets no publicity, and he doesn’t get much either! I’d argue that’s the exact point. Taylor wants to be a little boring. Not too much, but romantically. She doesn’t want her private life pried into so hardcore. She still plays the game, but a bare minimum of it, and it shows. If you go on popular swiftie ask blogs, you’ll constantly get seasoned bloggers saying there’s no point in following her so closely because she “feeds us” so irregularly and then flits off to London for a week right after. “She only does one thing a week and not every week”. The lowering of expectations is working. She only has to “work” in this way when it most benefits her and her public life isn’t such a spectacle anymore because there is nothing juicy to discover.

So. The thing about this fandom is that, when you want to see if something is true or not, you have to start believing it is true and then finding something palpable to debunk it. But with her past few boyfriends, people abandoned that method and went from the assumption that they were fake and let every tiny thing confirm this. I wanna go back to the original way. Overall, even when I debunk Kaylor as an overwhelming long lasting and still ongoing monogamous romance, Calvin, Tom and Joe still don’t quite check out as real boyfriends to me. Thems my thoughts. Maybe Lover will debunk some of them, but I definitely expect some golden love songs like those we got on Rep, some sad songs about other events she skipped depicting on Rep and - maybe another Karlie breakup song or two. (I say another because I connect GC to Karlie and DWOHT and NYD to breaking up). Maybe a song about reconciling after something bitter that people will attribute to Katy but that will be about her feelings about reconciling with Karlie. Maybe a song about a friendship breakup.

[maylovexhs]

Coincidence

Author’s Note: Where do I begin? I started college, so I’m swamped with work. I’m filled with requests so I still have to write those even though they are VERY LATE. But anyways, how have y’all been? Enjoy this one. xxx M

Masterlist

Concept: H is running late for a show and he thinks it might not be a coincidence.

Tags: @justanotherdaydreamersoul

*Y/N’S POV*

“If you want my body and you think I’m sexy. Come on, sugar, tell me so” I sang, spinning around in the chair.

“If you really need me, just reach out and touch me. Come on, honey, tell me so” Taylor joined in, singling along to Rod Stewart’s song with me.

I tapped on my thighs as I heard the drums in the song play.

“You’re off by a beat” Taylor commented on my fake drumming.

“Thanks, obvious” I said, teasing him.

“No problem” Taylor said, not recognizing I was insulting him.

“I was joking” I told him.

“I know you are” Taylor said. “I’m just an amazing drummer who knows when someone has horrible drumming skills”

I was about to respond to his comeback but we were interrupted by a knock on the dressing room door.

Knock knock.

“Come in” I said out loud.

The door opened, revealing Andrew. Again. He was in charge of performance set times. He was probably reminding us of how much time we had left. He kept checking in every five minutes.

“Hi guys,” Andrew started to speak. “I-“

“We know, we have 15 minutes until stage” I told him. “I was about to get my mic checked in”

“We are all done and ready except Y/N” Cristina said as she sat on the couch with Andy and Alexa. “It only takes 2 minutes anyways”

“It’s not that news” Andrew said to us.

We all looked to each other, knowing we either got rejected last minute or something was wrong.

“What is it then?” Andy asked him.

“Harry Styles, the act after you is running late” Andrew explained. “He’s stuck in traffic”

“And?” Taylor asked Andrew. “What does he have to do with us? He’s after not before”

“The manager asks if you can do your set longer.” Andrew said. “We don’t want the crowd to know he’s late and negative attention towards BBC”

“You want us to stall?” Alexa asked him, getting up from the couch. “We can’t do that. We only rehearsed the songs we knew we were going to do”

Andrew let out a breath, clearly nervous seeing he was the one who had to convince us to do this.

“I know this is last second,” Andrew said. “But you are the only people I have left to ask. BBC will forever be in your favor”

“But we are unprepared” Andy said to him. “It’s gonna take time to change the setlist”

Taylor crosses his arms.

“We definitely are not doing it” Taylor said.

“We came for one thing only”

“Why?” I asked him. “I think we could”

Taylor turned to me.

“Are you serious? We have a 25 minute set.” Taylor said, having the tone of hostility in his voice. “If we do this, it could be an hour long. We didn’t sign up for this”

“It will be good promo” I told him. “And I know we can figure out which other songs we can sing fast. We can do covers”

“Yeah, but it’s not so easy playing it” Cristina said. “We’re probably gonna mess up”

“We’ll blame it on technical issues” I said, looking to Andrew. “Can we?”

“Why not?” Andrew said in an uncertain voice. “I just need an answer now”

I looked to my band mates.

“All in favor of not doing it?” I asked them.

Taylor and Cristina raised their hands.

“All in favor of doing it?”

Andy and I put our hands. We all looked to Alexa as she slowly put her hand up seeming unsure.

I looked to Andrew.

“It’s a yes” I told him. “We need more than 15 minutes to get ready”

Andrew nodded his head at me.

“I’ll push for 25 minutes” He said to me. “Thank you”

Andrew left, shutting the dressing room’s door closed. Taylor uncrossed his arms at me.

“So crazy,” Taylor said to me. “What’s your plan?”

*HARRY’S POV*

“You know the entire setlist? You don’t need any sheet or anything?” Jeff asked as we quickly walked to the side of the stage.

“Yes, I am” I said to him. “Are Mitch and everyone else here?”

“Of course” Jeff answered. “They’re at the side, waiting for you”

“For fuck’s sake” I cursed to myself. “I should have left earlier”

“H!” I heard Clare call my name.

I looked to her, seeing Jeff was right. Mitch, Sarah and Adam stood next to her. Even Nick was there. They all turned to me. Everyone was at the side of the stage, all ready to go on. I walked over to them.

“Oh look who had arrived finally!” Nick said, exaggerating how upset he was with me. “Did you purposely come late so you can finally be a diva?”

“I wish” I answered him.

I looked to everyone else.

“Sorry” I apologized. “I couldn’t do anything in the traffic”

“We forgive you” Nick said, accepting my apology even if it wasn’t meant for him. “Besides I found someone else to dance to. You really missed out on good shit”

I chuckled at Nick’s choice of words.

I looked to the stage, watching a brunette woman talk about a song to the crowd.

“Umm, this next song I wrote with one of my band mates” She said in a soft voice. “His name is Andy and he plays the guitar in my band”

She waved to a man who I assumed was Andy.

“And usually whenever I sing this song, he would come up here and play the guitar as I sing, so . . .”

Andy walked towards her. He held his guitar closer to himself.

“This song is called The One That Got Away” She said.

Andy began to strum the strings on his guitar, playing the song.

“Summer after high school, when we first met. We make-out in your Mustang to Radiohead and on my eighteenth birthday, we got matching tattoos” She began to sing. “Used to steal your parents liquor and climb to the roof. Talk about our future like we had a clue. Never planned that one day I'd be losing you”

“In another life, I would be your girl” She continued to sing. “We keep all our promises, be us against the world”

I turned to Adam who was standing beside me.

“What’s her name?” I asked him.

“Y/N” Adam said. “She’s great. Watched her play since she got on”

I looked back to the stage, watching Y/N perform. I smiled as she continued to sing.

“I was June and you were my Johnny Cash. Never one without the other, we made a pact. Sometimes when I miss you, I put those records on, whoa”

Y/N looked to my side of the stage. Her eyes grew in surprise as she noticed me. I let out a chuckle. She looked back to Andy.

Nick poked my arm. I looked to him.

“Be careful, H” Nick said. “You’re starting to fall in love with her”

I laughed at his joke.

“I already am”

*Y/N’S POV*

“Hey, I’m gonna go” I heard Taylor say behind me. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

I tugged tighter on my hair tie, making sure my ponytail would come apart. I spun around in my chair to him.

“That soon?” I asked him. “You’re not gonna stay until the end like Cristina and Andy?”

“No” Taylor answered. “The last minute show tired me out”

“Oh,” I said. “Okay”

“See you at rehearsals?” Taylor asked.

“Rehearsals” I said, smiling at him.

Taylor nodded at me before heading out. He shut the door behind him, leaving me alone in the dressing room. I turned around in my chair to see myself in the mirror. I looked a bit tired too. My dark circles were peeking out under the layers of concealer. Maybe I should have left with Taylor.

Knock Knock.

I got up from the chair and headed to the door. I expected Taylor to be knocking since he probably forgot something to take. Except when I opened the door, I didn’t see Taylor. Instead, I saw a handsome man with gorgeous green eyes and brown curls. The same man I saw on the side of the stage when I sang earlier. He was holding a bouquet of flowers this time. He must be Harry.

“Hi” He said. “I’m Harry”

“Hi, I’m Y/N” I introduced myself to him. “Are those for me?” I asked, referring to the flowers he was holding.

“Uh, yeah” He answered. “They’re a thank you. For tonight”

I blushed. Harry smiled, his dimples being clearly seen. Harry handed me the flowers.

“Oh, it was no problem” I said to him. “You should be thanking my band mates. I had to convince them to play”

Harry laughed.

“Are they here?” He asked me.

“Oh, no” I answered. “They all left. Do you want to come inside?”

“Love to” Harry answered, shooting me another smile.

I let him in, letting the door close on its own. I settled the flowers on the table next to the couch.

“I really enjoyed your set” Harry told me.

“Did you? You mean only the two songs at the end?” I asked him in a playful tone.

Harry chuckled.

“Yes, those two” He answered. “I was wondering . . . can I take you out for dinner?”

I smiled immediately, blushing.

“Now?” I asked him. “I can’t now”

“Tomorrow then?” Harry asked. “It’s the most I could do for earlier”

“I can’t do tomorrow either” I told him. “I’m swamped with rehearsals. Tuesday, I can. After my show”

“Perfect” Harry said. “Where’s your show?”

“The O2″ I told him. “It starts at eight”

“I’ll be there” Harry said. “And I’ll stay for more than two songs”

I chuckled. I took a pen from the dressing room draw and wrote my number on a piece of scrap paper.

“Here” I handed it to him. “My number”

“Thanks” Harry said. “I’ll call you, Y/N”

I smirked at him.

“Well, I gotta go” I told him. “Need my sleep for tomorrow”

Harry nodded at me. He walked to the door, opening it. He turned to me before walking out.

“Thanks again” Harry said. “For the coincidence”

Harry shot me a wink and walked out. I stood still, watching the door close on its own.

That wink was definitely not a coincidence.

[lilacsolanum]

Who was your Shepard? What ending did they choose? Did it remind you much of the end of Animorphs?

Did you just– did you just give me an excuse to rant about my Mass Effect experience? WELL THANK YOU!

My Shepard was a fierce dark skinned woman with a penchant for a heavy eyeliner and a dark lip. She originally had a stern bun but I DID give her a haircut between ME2 and ME3 for the drama and she had a buzzcut. She ran around in a hoodie 24/7 and was my butch qween. I named her Ms Nesbit in ME1, but ME1 didn’t understand the space so she ended up being Ms Shepard which honestly was ideal. She was from the tragic Midnoir, and had the “soul survivor” psychological profile. I was absolutely role-playing her, giving her a strong “bright clear line” ruthless and practical moral code. She had. SO many renegade points. It was mostly a renegade play through, but I was always bros with my crew. Well. The crew members I liked. I killed someone on purpose in the suicide mission like. Bye.

I played these games blind and it was the best, not knowing how my choices would play out, not knowing what was coming next.

When I played the ending it was, like, 4 AM and I just wanted to be done so I could focus on writing and not be haunted by my love of this great video game I wanted to play all the time. So like. I wasn’t comprehending anything really, and Shepard was moving SO slowly, and I just went toward the pillar because it was shiny. TECHNICALLY I chose Synthesis, which was the cheesiest and worst ending.

I WANTED to choose Destroy, and would have if I was less of a sleepy bitch. Destroy was what we set out to do, and I don’t think the consequences of the literal universe existing beyond “the cycle” were going to be THAT bad. The Geth chilled out. Everyone calm down. Let’s rebuild.

Because I played a “war is hell, bright clear line” Shepard, the ending with her death DID feel right to me. It WAS very Animorphs-ish. Not everyone makes it out of war. Not everyone survives. But I understand why people hated it, especially if you played paragon. Like I told someone else, then the ending of ME is like if Sailor Moon ended with the gruesome death of Sailor Moon. Really, the thing that reminded me the most of Animorphs was the Krogans.

I wrote out, like, my entire play through under the cut because I was feeling myself and because I have SO MUCH TO SAY and played this video game like ten years after it came out so I only had one other person screaming with me. I (somewhat) restrained my boundless energy on their behalf. Cav is a patient soul.

In ME1, I killed the Rachni queen, because even if she was serving me some buckwild nonsense about songs and the general plot of Ender’s Game I was like bye gurl bye, your race died. It’s dead. It’s far too traumatizing for too many people to bring y'all back. Also, you are litterly a giant spider, absolutely not, no no, do not want, please leave.

I primarily ran Wrex and Kaidan because I very much enjoyed Kaidan’s idealistic banter where he’s just impressed with literally everything and then checking in on Wrex who was just bitter and full of hate. Wrex became my favorite character. I LIVE for a grumpy old man. I got his family armor and managed to chill him out on Virmire on the first choice, which was AMAZING, because I later looked up the other outcomes and found out Ashley would kill him and I would have been TRAUMATIZED. I zoomed in on Ashley being a racist and peaced her out, keeping my boy Kaidan around for another two games.

I accidentally romanced Liara even if I wanted to romance Kaidan, but I WAS flirting with them both for a bit (though I ultimately didn’t get the scene where they both confront me). I also slept with that random Asari lady.

I chose to kill the council in the end. It was the better choice for humanity. We needed to do something big to prove that we’re here, we’re not going away, and we’re just as important as the rest of you.

ME2 is just like Making Friends: The Video Game. Which was honestly so fun, I loved that it was an entire game devoted to character storytelling? I let Garrus break a dude’s legs, but I did not let him kill that man, even if I let him kill the guy in ME1. It honestly felt like letting that dude live was shittier. I killed the heretic Geth because, like, they’re machines, they’ve already been possessed by Reapers, they’re fine. I understand that Legion was doing it’s whole Breq thing but most Geth are just part of a whole. I was fine with it. I had enough Renegade points when I did Tali’s mission to allow her to be proven innocent without revealing her father’s treason, which I’m super glad I did because of it’s effects on ME3. The rest of the missions I basically just went renegade for the points. I loooved Thane, Miranda, and Grunt, fell deeper in love with Garrus and Tali, didn’t spend enough time with Legion but again, I saw the whole individual sentience storyline unfolding and appreciated it, Jack I liked ironically because Oh Boy Everything About Her (LOVED her in ME3 though), and Samara and Jacob were THUMBS DOWN.

And then Mordin. Holy shit. What an amazing character. First of all, he’s the best, second of all, he busts out in a musical number, third of all, his mission is SO BEAUTIFUL AND COMPLEX. But. I ended up destroying both Maelon’s data and Maelon himself.

The genophage was population control, not genocide, and while it’s a harsh method it was the kindest solution at the time. The Krogan really remind me of the Yeerks, actually. When it was pointed out that they were given technology before they had culture, I was like, yes, YES, my favorite children’s books series addressed this SAME THING! And like Yeerks, absolutely, I recognize that some Krogans were good, that they didn’t have the same bloodthirst as others, that they saw a better future. Wrex was one of those Krogans. Wrex had power. But was that enough power? How very easy would it be for a rogue group of Krogans to hide away, procreate, get strong, and go to war with the Urdnots. How very easy would it be to destroy the efforts of one man. It was idealistic to think that just because Wrex had influence, that the entirity of the Krogan race could be changed. Ms Shepard made a hard choice, but she did what she had to do.

Also, my renegade zombie face was fucking hilarious, the drama, the theatrics. When I came back from some mission with red eyes I laughed so much. What a choice. What an amazing choice Bioware made with that. I probed the planets and fixed my busted mug, but not after enjoying my glowing scars and bags under my eyes for a MINUTE.

I two timed Garrus and Thane for a minute, but ultimately I went with Garrus, because I texted my BFF, a normal person who does not write or read about alien fucking, with a photo of the two and he immediately replied with “zaddy with the scope for sure” and it was decided. Thane did call me sita for a hot minute and it was very very sweet. Oh and you knoooooow I flirted with Kelly Chambers HARD.

I played the suicide mission blind and I have this weird habit of overestimating video games when they are CLEARLY telling me what to do and trying to outsmart them, so I somehow lost Thane, Garrus, and Mordin. I broke my rule about not going back on any choice and replayed it to save everyone’s asses, except for Jacob Taylor, who I killed on purpose. No regrets.

And then shit went DOOOOOOOOWN in ME3.

First of all, fuck EDI’s robot body. I was already shipping her with Joker and in no way did they need a physical form, it’s called IMAGINATION. I might write a fic where EDI as a ship’s AI instructs Joker on how to get himself off, Dom style. *I* know how to write an AI/human romance without a robot that has FUCKING HIGH HEELS??? No. Nope. Also, why the hell does literally every male squadmate have to call her hot. What was the point. WHAT WAS THE REASON. WHAT WAS THE REASON BITCH.

I immediately went to deal with the Krogan genophage because I knew some shit was about to go on. This whole thing ended up being maybe one of my absolute favorite story experiences, ever.

It starts happening. Wrex rolls up. He is PISSED at me. He is saying he wished he killed me in Virmire, the first time I blocked a genophage cure. It’s heartbreaking. I loved him so much, and he’s SO ANGRY, and he has every right to be.

Mordin starts his research. Eve is there, she’s fucking ICONIC, her and her 50-year-old diner waitress smoker voice. Poor unfortunate goddamn soul, YES. I love her. But I also doomed her by destroying Maelon’s data.

Then the Salarian talks to me. And I know I’ve chosen this stance for Ms Shepard and that I’m not going back on it. When she says “You stop Mordin from spreading the cure, no matter what” I already knew what was going to happen. It’d been spoiled for his death, yes, but damn. The way it went down.

The first thing that happened that made me go “holy shit” was when we were all flying toward Tuchanka and I had an option to tell everyone about the sabotage. I actually took it. Even if I had this storyline, I had this moment of like, okay, I love these characters, I love Mordin and he’s so happy to redeem himself, I have to tell my friends about what the Salarian wants to do. And I chose that option AND I AM INTERRUPTED AND DON’T GET THE WORDS OUT. I mean WHAT a fucking amazing detail. When the option came back again, to lie to my friends or tell them the truth, I lied.

Watching to confrontation go down with Mordin just destroyed me. The voice actors killed it. I told Maelon about the sabotage. It was so fucking emotional. “I MADE A MISTAKE! I made a mistake. I focused on the big picture. Big picture made of little pictures.” Just. Holy shit. And I knew what was about to happen and what I would have to do, and even if it was a video game, I was IN IT. It was the fact that the renegade interrupt was in slow motion that absolutely got me. That there was extra time to think about it, to let him go. I closed my eyes and hit my mouse trigger and Shepard shot Mordin. The way she walked off and threw her gun to the side was devastating. And then the game made me watch Mordin drag his dying body across the tower to try and get to the controls, saying, “Not yet, not ready, not ready,” which was honestly very rude. And then the cutscene where Wrex looked out on his planet, joy and awe on his face, that was also incredibly rude.

I later watched the paragon version and just. “I’m the very model of a-” SUPER. RUDE.

I knew doing all this meant I would also have to kill Wrex. That wasn’t a spoiler, that’s just logic. So one day I go to the Citadel, lalala, fetch quest fetch quest fetch quest, and then I go back to my ship and BAM. Wrex. How fucking brilliant. There is no moment around his confrontation, no visit to Tuchanka. It hits you when you’re completely off guard. He also called me out on not doing the “Bomb on Tuchanka” mission because I did things out of order. Found Grunt, go cure genophage. I shot Wrex. Bailey would have, but it was my responsibility.

Later, Garrus called me out on everything during his “tough call” scene. I told him what I did. The way he then asks, “Did Mordin just go along with it?” and Shepard just walks off was so good.

So.

All of Legions missions were SO cool. I’m learning I have such a weakness for robots/AIs and sentience. “Do these units have a soul?” Also it’s little inner brain Tron world was great, and how the Geth remember the Quarians who were kind was just beautiful. When it came time to choose between the Geth and the Quarians, I was able to save both. Even if that wasn’t the most renegade-y choice, it came from my original mission statement: bright, clear line. Both forces living meant both forces could fight. The rest of my “storyline” was so super dark that this moment felt really triumphant it my little role play? It reminded me of The Doctor saying “This time, everybody lives!”

The rest of the game was just “How many people can Liana kill?”

When Thane died, he called me sita one more time, even if I didn’t commit to him, and it BROKE MY FUCKING HEART. What a great detail to bring back one last time. When Bioware is on, it is ON. 

When Samara held a gun to her head I was just like “See ya later alligator.” What a boring character. btw, the whole Morinth thing could have been SO cool but ended up so lame. I didn’t have enough renegade points to get her and I don’t even care. Bye. I didn’t give Miranda Alliance support so SHE died. That was sad. Grunt survived because my baby boy was loyal, but he might have died since I didn’t deal with the bomb. I was supposed to get a poorly spelled message from him according to the internet, and I never did, so uhhhh oops. Sorry, my son. Kaidan didn’t die during his little freak out because we were besties.

When Liara asked me if we were still dating, I said yes, then I immediately went to Garrus and he asked me if we were still dating and I ALSO said yes, then I flirted with James Vega and Samantha Traynor a lot. Eventually, during Garrus’s personal quest, he asked me if I was ready to be a one Turian kind of woman. I said no and he took the rejection well. Then I went to see Kaidan, and he told me he had feelings, and I locked in with him. I love the idea of Kaidan, who is kind of sheltered and idealistic, attempting to protect and soothe this war torn woman, while accepting the darkness of war himself and questioning his place in it. I loved the idea of us breaking apart, but brief grounded moments with one another. Plus Garrus never even seemed THAT into me, like, yeah you’re awkward bro but idk give me a cute nickname or SOMETHING, and Liara was boring. Liara was SO PISSED AT ME LMAOOO she used A Tone when I would go visit her in her little office and like stopped talking to me. It was hilarious.

I can’t remember if anything else super relavant happed in ME3. I hated Cortez’s “bury your gays” storyline. Gays can do more than be sad. Samantha Traynor was such an afterthought. I still don’t understand why a femShep couldn’t romance Jack, who is canonically bisexual, and I wish that was an option in ME3. I love that Kaidan came back bisexual, like he was just on his little Barbarella journey. What happeneds on Horizon, stays in Horizon.

I have written too much that no one, if anyone, will read, and I must sleep now before I chose the Symbosis ending again.