#everyone always gets good ones no matter how much effort they've put in

[raksh-writes]

Gosh, Im being such a lazy ass today, with finals just around the corner and an off day to get stuff done and instead I just wanna play Skyrim ffs...

[onlyjaeyun]

can i talk my shit for a moment?

i've been thinking about enhypen a lot, i actually do on a daily because i have a problem but that's a story for another time, and every time i think about certain types of "engenes" i get so, so mad and just as sad and frustrated because we're literally witnessing the way enha as a whole are slowly losing the recognition and attention for their talent because the focus is slowly shifting towards their visuals and their fan service.

i can't even explain why this makes me so mad and maybe i'm just a baby engene who's a little sensitive and protective but it's just so frustrating to see people praise enha for their visuals and fan service only when they're so, so much more.

don't get me wrong, PLEASE praise your fave for their visuals, they're the hardest on themselves and the kpop industry is so visual focused, it'll do wonders to their self confidence and esteem to hear how much their fans love their looks and styles and visuals.

it's the fact that at this point i barely ever see anyone praise any member for their actual talent. maybe i'm on the wrong side of the fandom but whenever the boys are done with a performance, they go viral for their visuals and not the actual effort, energy, time and attention they put into that performance.

seeing the comments being full of people who only praise one thing about the members is just so..heartbreaking considering just HOW hard they've worked to be where they are.

they have received titles during i-land and are still standing up to those and the high standards everyone has set for them, so seeing their fan service being what gets people into the fandom makes me so sad.

heeseung is a fucking ace, mans can sing, dance, produce, rap – he's literally known for his immense talent yet his biggest headlines somehow always included his visuals, especially with the whole nose implant shit. yes, his fan service is top tier but he's more than that short flirty moment and i hate seeing people praise him for it.

jungwon keeps on showing everyone what a good lsader he is, that he actually deserves his title as the hidden ace but people never ever give him credit for what matters. that guy loves his fans so, so much he spends hours on weverse to chat and respond and always updates us on what's going on. he's so csring and sweet and yet ever since he's become an adult its yet again, just about his looks.

i don't even wanna talk about sunoo because his situation makes me SO mad in a way i can't explain at all. that fucker is so fucking talented and so gifted, he's literally worked his ass off all these years just for people to go around and go omg he's so pretty!!! and that's it. he's not just your little mlm projection since most engenes love to label him as such, he's so much more and deserves to be treated like the talented idol he is.

sunghoon is also of that category because tell me why people have made his visuals hs only personality when he literally was told he was born to be on stage. every single performance, every single song, every single tour night he gives his everything because he knows he's good but he wants to show the world that he's more than a pretty face. i wish people would just see his talent and dedication for once instead of his eyebrows.

jay is also a topic i dont even wanna talk about anymore because the treatment he's been receiving all these years from his own "FANS" is so embarrassing and heartbreaking. i have never, ever watched a performance where that fucker didn't give 150% of his energy and power, his dedication is so impressive and something to admire. he's not just your fashion icon with a pretty face and a sharp jawline, i might upset some of y'all, but he's just as much of an ace as heeseung to me and i wish people saw that.

riki literally left his home country when he was a child and was called the dance prodigy, became a member in the official line up at the age of 14 and yet people will literally do nothing but praise his visuals. that fucker came okt of his mama dancing and people dare to argue whether or not he's as good as engenes make him to be what the FUCK? ppl need to stop focusing on his face and actually look at him as a whole when they watch him bc how could we ever argue about his talent???

jake had a dream and an opportunity and that fucker took. it. he literally only trained for six months and now his dance challenges with other idols are some of the most viewed ones on social media. he's a pretty face and the biggest flirt ever, he loves his dans and doesnt hesitate to show it but i wish people would actually see how hard he works and how far he's come. he was never bad but he's literally at such a high level right now when it comes to his skills and stage performances, i feel like people just love to ignore that aspect of him bc of his intense fan service.

i can't believe i spent 10 minutes writing this but its been on my mind for so long and i really hope we as engenes can actually sit our asses the fuck down and start showing those boys and their talent the love and appreciation they deserve. they are a group of visuals, yes. no doubt. but they were also chosen to be in this group bc of their talent and their skills.

[youcouldmakealife]

SOTM: Gabe/Stephen; largesse (pt I)

For the prompt: Gabe and Stephen being sappy at SOME point

Feat. everybody's favourite: Soft Stephen Petersen (but don't you dare call him that to his face)

I'm going ahead and posting this a day before the poll even closes, because it was winning by a landslide and also, well, Passover. This thing decided to grow legs, as so many prompts do. The second half will be posted next week.

Stephen loves holidays.

It takes a long time for Gabe to figure that out — he's talking literal decades — because Stephen’s actually pretty good at hiding it. Or maybe it isn’t that he’s good at hiding it so much as it’s exactly what someone would expect from him. Stephen exudes ‘too cool for holidays’ energy.

But then, to be fair, Stephen exudes a lot of things that aren’t true. Like how he pretends to hate hugs, but that’s only true in limited circumstances: he dislikes hugs from strangers and distant acquaintances, that’s true, but he liked hockey hugs, and hugs from his family, even though he always scoffed before he got them, just so they wouldn’t get the right idea, and a good hug is often enough to get him out of a bad mood. The thing Stephen hates most about hugs is how much he doesn’t hate them.

He’s like that with a few things: he spent years pretending he couldn’t stand math, even as he was getting straight As in it, helping Gabe out with his homework, but never without muttering how pointless math was. He still pretends to hate his sisters, and groans when Dmitry and Oksana come over, even when he explicitly asked Gabe to invite them, and constantly pretends he isn’t absolutely delighted to find a kindred soul in Jared. Gabe can see right through all of that. Always has. But Stephen’s apparent holiday hatred managed to fool even him.

That is, until Stephen accidentally shows his hand when Passover arrives. Stephen’s been doing something or another for it for years, packing Gabe little lunch boxes so he has options on the road, even including uncharacteristically sweet little notes during one playoff run.

Gabe always figured it was because Stephen knew it was hard to be across the country from his family, especially when Passover fell at the same time as their birthdays, or the last stressful days of the season, or the even more stressful start of the postseason — it’s never been great timing. And as much as Stephen would like to deny it, he’s always been thoughtful about those kinds of things. Always been kind.

But this year it's different. Gabe’s Passover planning usually just extends to hitting up the kosher section at the grocery store to stock up on non-leavened alternatives, maybe head to the deli he likes to get some inferior version of something his mom would make if he’s feeling particularly homesick.

Stephen’s putting a little more effort in. For one, he's decided to cook. Relatedly, he's spending half his time on the phone with Gabe’s mom, it feels like — recipes can’t take that long to convey, no matter how chatty Gabe’s mom is — and shooing Gabe out of the kitchen with his traditional Passover lunch box, even though he isn’t on the road this year, and, thank fuck, it’s still the regular season this time. It’s rough, having to abstain from all of his favourite ways to carboload just in time for the postseason.

And then there's Seder. The fact they're having one, but also the fact they've got a guest list: a few of Stephen's university friends, a Jewish colleague of his who also lives across the country from his family, and Jared and Bryce, Dmitry and Oksana.

He spends Gabe doesn’t even know how much time and energy getting it together, brushing off most of Gabe’s offers to help. Gabe’s exhausted just doing his minor part and low-key worrying about Dmitry or Jared saying something to set Stephen off.

Everyone's shockingly well behaved, though, to the point where Gabe wonders what Stephen threatened them with. Something horrible, he’s sure. At the end of the night, everyone parts with leftovers, which Gabe is a little wistful about — he knows they kept a little of everything but it’s his favourite, and Stephen did good job with it, if not a Miriam job — and Gabe starts clearing the table, because Stephen looks like he’s hit his limit.

The kitchen is such a disaster Gabe doesn’t even know where to start — he didn’t think they had this many dishes. He doesn’t even recognise all of them. Gabe has never been more grateful to have a dishwasher. He only wishes they had two. Or three, even. Three would be good.

“I think that went okay,” Stephen says as Gabe starts rinsing the dirtiest of the dishes.

“It went great,” Gabe says. “What’s the occasion, anyway?”

“Passover,” Stephen says.

“Steve,” Gabe says.

“Oh, well,” Stephen says. “It’s important to you.”

But he’s flustered, and not just flustered in the way he gets whenever he has to admit he’s done something nice for someone.

That doesn’t typically apply to Gabe anyway. Stephen claims that it’s inherently selfish to do nice things for Gabe, because they’re a partnership, and helping his partner helps him. Gabe figures whatever helps Stephen sleep at night after doing embarrassing things like offering Gabe the last piece of pizza — obviously not during Passover — or telling him he likes his playoff beard when they both know it’s mid at best.

Though, Stephen actually seemed pretty into it, last year, to the point where Gabe was starting to think he might have a bit of a thing for the beard. So maybe that was selfish after all.

Gabe, equally selfishly, hopes they make it even further this year, just to test that theory.

"Well," Gabe says. "Thank you," and notices Stephen looks relieved that he's letting it go. Even grateful.

So of course that's when Gabe starts paying attention.

[cybertron-after-dark]

oooo kimmie, can you tell us about the tfa and rb overlap?

Everyone prepare yourselves bc the floodgates are opened and now I'm never going to shut up about this

In a meta context, there's SO much overlap between the shows. A lot of the same people worked on it, especially the writers, and it 100% shows. Mr. Marty Isenberg you are not slick.

In terms of the actual content of the shows though, the similarities are overflowing.

First and foremost, the emphasis on cultural differences and exchanges with the human-bot relationships. TFA had a good bit of it and it was very very fun every time it happened (bots not really knowing what level of self defense is appropriate to teach a child, being very confused about what exactly humans eat, bee picking up video games, bulkhead picking up art, ALL that good shit), but you don't always get to focus on it with all the action and political intrigue going on. And while rescue bots has its share of intensity, there's a lot more space for the mundane interactions. Blades being tv obsessed, the bots celebrating Allspark day, boulder's love of just Everything on earth. They had a whole episode just about teaching the bots to fish.

There's also the fact that everyone on griffin rock is a little bit Unhinged in a lot of the same ways the humans kicking around Detroit are. Just. Vaguely Weird Vibes in very funny ways. And the same tendency to switch from revering the emergency services which they may or may not know the bots are part of to wildly distrusting them on a dime. Optimus would not leave an encounter with Mrs Nederlander unscathed bro. I don't know if any of the bots could.

Speaking of humans, the villains in rescue bots feel like what the tfa human villains could have been if not for being wildly overshadowed by the decepticons. Evan and Myles? I think you mean Henry Masterson's shitty cousins he only interacts with through the CoD lobby. Madelyne Pynch? That's just girlboss Porter C. Powell. Quint Quarry? Sir that is Master Disaster if he existed for more than like two minutes of a singular episode and bagged more than one bot. Dr. Morocco? Meltdown but better at, like, everything (especially lab safety).

Then there's the constant state of both teams grilling the hell out of each other All The Time. Chaotic. Absolute Creechurs. They love each other so much but they also all live in close contact and see each other all the time and thus they are So Mean To Each Other (though they're a bit meaner in tfa just bc older audience)

The Sumdacs and the Greenes being two duos of an absentminded but well meaning technological genius and his intelligent and Highly Cool pigtailed daughter who both have to deal with the dad's tech going completely out of control is pretty on the nose too. (Oh God now I'm just imagining an au where tfp starscream successfully gets rid of Megatron after the space bridge explosion and sends him hurtling towards earth and crashlanding right on griffin rock whee doc green finds his head. Can you imagine. The misery of tfp Megatron having to deal with a human. He's having several mental breakdowns, 100%)

Even Cody and Sari have a lot of similarity as characters. Cody is a lot more mild mannered compared to the absolute Gremlin that is Sari, but they both still struggle a lot with wanting to help but feeling too small to make an impact, even though they matter so much more than they could ever know. They're surrounded by heros, giants, and it's hard for them not to feel like they're fading into the background. And when both their families realize how they've been making those kids feel they put so much effort to make sure they're loved and feel like their efforts matter. It's the same arc in different forms. And it's so good both ways.

Overall they're both shows that feel like they're trying to say similar things to different audiences. That Earth is wonderful and worth protecting. That any effort can make massive differences, even if you don't feel like you can do enough. That a hero can come from somewhere humble, and the best ones usually do. That people deserve kindness and a genuine effort at understanding. That nobody is without value.

And honestly? That what I love most about both of them.

[journey-to-the-attic]

Okay idea for the Dragon AU--

WHAT IF Diavolo is the king and Barbatos is his servant and Diavolo is secretley half-dragon on Sonnos side? And him trying to make peace with dragons is so he can reveal to his people that he's half-dragon and show they aren't bad

But at the point of the AU, people still hate them hence IK stumbling upon Mammon deep in the woods after being accused of being a witch

The reason I thought of this is because I think an AWESOME concept would be if Barbatos was a dragon that learned how to take on a human disguise and act like a human

But as a dragon he's like oroboros!!!! He's watched the rise and fall of both dragon and human kind over and over and over, essentially watching the world eat its own tail and unfortunately he's as much of a slave to it as everyone else, it's just that he's one of the only ones who realizes and actively remembers ALL of it

And he's hoping that Diavolo (with the power of this strange little human) might be able to break this cycle

Just an idea but my brain is firing at 100% right now

ohohohoooo this is GOOD

okok so imagine that diavolo's been (subtly) trying to make contact with the full-blood dragons, but barbatos knows this never works out - no matter how promising things start out, something always ends up going wrong, because there is a fundamental mistrust between both humans and dragons

so there's always a miscommunication that makes either side think they've been betrayed, or one side will be too tense and convinced they'll be attacked, so prematurely attack the dragons in retaliation; it always ends in either a mass-hunting of dragonkind, or destruction of the kingdom

but then this cycle is the first time ik shows up, and this important because ik explicitly trusts that her friends will NOT do anything to hurt her on purpose - the kind of unwavering faith that diavolo wants to establish between humans and dragons

of course, there's a bit of an obstacle in that ik is also mistrusted at this point - "of course the witch child would ally with those wicked dragons!" - i imagine there'd be moments where public opinion begins to change, e.g. when ik along with one of the brothers helps save a merchant being robbed by bandits

maybe they get on diavolo's radar for the first time because one of the nobles in his court (om mephistopheles perhaps) gets attacked by monsters while technically invading the dragons' territory, but the brothers save and then return him back to safety. to diavolo this is a MIRACLE, and he MUST meet this witch-child who's prompted the dragons to show compassion to humans immediately

(to put an ironic twist on this, maybe the reason ik's never appeared before now is because barbatos's attempts to set things on the right track in previous cycles always butterly-effected into her being killed prematurely; she only survives in this one because barbatos is standing back in the hope that diavolo would be able to break the cycle)

(he only figures this out upon going back over his memories from past cycles - since at the time the deaths were just part of the (what he thought was) inevitable collateral damage of his efforts)

[council-of-beetroot]

I love your Tolys analysis so much! There's so much to look at when it comes to Tolys. His relationships with everyone are so complex. He's Ivan's favorite and learns to live around the abuse, he openly dislikes Gilbert, he's ride or die for Feliks, he enjoyed being with Alfred, even though he was still treated like a maid (but obviously a much times better than his usual situation). another sad thing is he's overly serious. He has to walk on eggshells so often, ofc jokes go over his head :(

I love looking at his relationships with others and can honestly see him having intimate relations with all of the above you mentioned as well as very complex ones at that.

So even in a non romantic way, I began to think hmm what makes them work well together, what draws them together and what drives them apart.

Feliks and Tolys

What works or draws them to each other

They know each other better than anyone. They've forged such a strong bond because they had to. Their marriage was purely political but they ended up making it work for a really long time. I think they both push each other out of their comforts since they trust eachother to do so. With Feliks, Tolys is one of the few people he feels truly comfortable to be around. They bring out the other's lighthearted side as well. They have each other's backs.

What drives them apart

They know each other so well they lack boundaries and communication between them can go poorly.

With Feliks, Tolys is one of the few people he's comfortable around and this unfortunately makes Tolys almost akin to a security blanket which puts a strain on their relationship. Also Tolys is not the best with straight forward communication and isn't good with explaining how he feels and setting boundaries which to someone like Feliks it's very hard to read and figure out the way to appropriately interact in response

Alfred and Tolys

What works or draws them to each other

To Alfred Tolys is a good friend, a good mentor and and doesn't dismiss him for his youthfulness.

To Tolys, Alfred is ambitious, driven, and innovative and Tolys finds him very interesting and he is very willing to experience life in the US.

What drives them apart

You know those people who are nice and you consider yourself friends with them but there's something that keeps you from forging a stronger bond because you just can't fully relate and understand each other because you've had vastly different life experiences? That's where I see them drifting apart and maybe not in like a breakup but they are on separate paths.

Also I think Alfred's naïvete and idealism would not mesh well for Tolys.

Ivan and Tolys

What works or draws them to each other

For Ivan, Tolys is kind, reliant, empathetic, loyal, and always willing to lend an ear and listen. Tolys knows Ivan very well and knows his softness, his fears, and sees his vulnerability, Ivan genuinely likes Tolys and is quite affectionate towards him.

What drives them apart

Ivan doesn't want to lose people in his life so in an effort to prevent loss he ends up pushing people away when trying to ensure they don't leave him.

Tolys just like with Feliks is driven by emotion before reason.

Read my fic I sum it up perfectly there.

Gilbert and Tolys

What works or draws them to each other

They have been a constant opponent for the other for centuries, they have studied each other as opponents and know just how intense the other can get and this breeds a mutual admiration for their former opponent, the way it feels in a final match and you see how well your opponent fights and you see an honour in them facing you.

What drives them apart

That's the problem is that no matter how much they try fate seems to bring them back together

Lietpru endgame perhaps?

[sailorgundam308]

okay but you're right about the petite tav thing (also idk if you know but someone's lame ass "callout" post about you being a bully and how you'll never get commissions is circulating)

like in a game where you can create nearly anything with a tav it's boring as fuck to make them look copy pasted of every conventional girl irl. ive always thought that, it's why I can't read certain super popular fics in this fandom because the tav absolutely rips me out of any enjoyment (cough, the arrangement)

but it's not fair for people to be harassing you over your opinion, it's your blog if they don't wanna make themselves upset maybe they shouldn't be lurking on your page

It's what I think. I have no interest, never had, in any media, when a protagonist is the pretty standard petite girl. It doesn't resonate with me at all and, therefore, they come across as very boring to me.

About the post circulating about me, I know about it. It was made by 2 girls who didn't like when I said I don't like pairing Astarion with the aforementioned pretty petite tav type. They then devolved into, apparently, some sort of Alex Jones, calling into question my values as a person, made up what I said and whatnot. They've been flooding me with hate messages for a while, stopping short only of telling me to kill myself. But then, of course, I'm the bully in the story. lol

It's very much their problem. Anyone following me, reading what I say, knows what I stand for - and what I don't, cause I tend to say it pretty clearly.

And I agree with you, too: tumblr is a collection of personal blogs of people with differing opinions. Unless someone is attacking or harming a real person, or being an actual bigot, it's all a matter of thinking differently about things. And that's not an issue.

You'd think people who claim to be so inclusive would understand that not everyone has to agree on things - and that you shouldn't dig the internet for content that will piss you off because you feel like going on a moral rampage for the sake of feeling superior. You WILL find content to make you angry. Thing is, some of that will be justified. Some, apparently, will just be me saying im not into X type of pairing.

Sound's pretty easy to do, but some folks are actually pretty incredible in regards to the amount of effort they'll put to go after someone they (don't know) but decided they dislike.

One of the girls saying she "took a screenshot" of what I said is from a discord I'm also a member of, and I think she got jealous cause I only posted Karlach x Astarion art and they shipped him with a different character. The other one is just a hardcore harasser. I got all their hate messages saved. Maybe one day I'll post it so people can see what kind low level stuff they said to me. It was WILD.

In any case. I never deleted the post where I said I think Astarion doesn't look good with pretty cutesy girly tavs cause I DO think that, and there's nothing wrong with me saying it. I'm not talking about any real person, nor even any tav in particular. But people like to distort shit to make waves then feel morally superior.

Thankfully, my commissions are doing great! I don't beg anyone to hire me, and as with everything else online, no one is forced to anything - commission me or even interact with my blog. There is a block function here and I use it often - it works wonders.

Anyway, thanks for saying that. Truly. This whole thing was pretty upsetting at first, but I soon realized there was no conversation to be had with thesef people - they don't want to talk. They want to tear someone they don't know apart to feel superior and "win".

It's nice to know not everyone bought into the gaslighting shit these two (and probably now more ppl) are spouting.

:)

[voidpacifist]

new idea: what if steve actually has good parents?

sure, maybe he doesn't have good parents at first. maybe his parents are negligent at best and downright out of his life at worst. maybe when his father is caught the first time in an affair, his mother retaliates by following him on all of his trips out of state instead of staying at home? maybe even when she is home, she's always busy.

but then steve starts getting into fights at school. he's popular and he's relatively well liked, even in just eighth grade, but that doesn't mean there aren't people who can and would try to beat the title of king right out of him. believe it or not, it's his busy, couldn't-be-bothered mother who notices first — she's so used to him giving her space that when he rushes home one afternoon with blood and scrapes and a black eye, she freaks the fuck out.

she calls his father home, and sure, his father's season of unfaithfulness is starting, but his mother sounds genuinely worried, and there's nothing he can do from across the country except to return to hawkins to make sure everyone's all in one piece. the cheating doesn't stop after this event, but the attentiveness is new. it's not necessarily the good kind of attentiveness, but now both his mother and his father are paying attention to him.

for about a week, his mother absolutely fusses and frets over him. his father goes back to his work, but not before actually checking in on steve and seeing if he's okay. but his mother is more...around, now. she starts noticing things about her own son that she never noticed before, and as some kind of penance, she starts spending more time with him.

his mother becomes his mom. they make pastas together in the evenings, and she hugs him goodbye every morning before school. for a few short months, she's exactly what he's always needed her to be. then she finds out about his father's cheating, and she starts going on the work trips with him. it fucks with steve more than he cares to admit, but learning his father doesn't love his mother the way he ought to fucks with him more.

by junior year, he's convinced that love is a sham. then he meets nancy wheeler. and their relationship reminds him of the early stages of his parents marriage, back when they paid attention to him and even when they were busy, made the time to show and tell him that they love him. it's not like they don't anymore, but his mother can't dote on him the same away from home and his father's version of love is terse lectures and "straightening him into a man."

he tries to give her everything he can, exude love the way he was taught is good, but they both have their own damage to work out, and the relationship frays until nancy, sixteen and hurting and making stupid choices, ends things. steve doesn't handle it much better — nancy may be a fighter, a doer, but he's a hider of his own feelings to his core. it's a back and forth of "don't you want to do something?" and "don't you know I can't?" they've stalemated themselves.

and it's especially painful because that's exactly how his parents went from being the young, happy couple to being the couple who isn't really a couple. not in the ways that matter.

and then after junior year closes, his parents come home and stay home. he's quick to rebuild something with his mother, who puts in the effort when she can, but his father is a different story. he wants what's best for steve, but has never been around enough for that sentiment to count. he wants steve to have the best in life, but only knows how to drill into him his version of what's best — a college degree, a successful career, and a nice wife and house.

steve hates it, but a part of him really missed having a dad around in the first place. (hopper's even more emotionally available than his own father, and the chief of police is generally a brick wall, save for spite and sarcasm and deep-seeded rage.)

so he tries for his dad, really he does. and his dad, shock of all shocks, starts trying for steve too. their sole hurdle by the time senior year reaches it's final weeks is the fact that no college wants to take steve and his shoddy grades. but his dad isn't heartless, not in the ways that count — he tells steve he needs to find a job, then finds one for him, because he's noticing things about his son now in the opposite way his wife notices. whereas she's been getting to know steve at his core, he's been seeing what the effects of concussions and contact sports are doing to him. he's forgetting things, having trouble with headaches and vision/hearing issues and it scares him half to death even if he'll never say it.

he writes the job off as a way to get steve to "take responsibility," but truthfully, he just knows the hours steve's getting at the mall means he's further out of a fights way. so imagine mr. harrington's absolute dread when he realizes there's been a fire at starcourt, when he rushes himself and his wife to the hospital and they find steve laid up with a grade three concussion and his system flushed for drugs. imagine what that does to a man like mr. harrington.

what it does is this: he doesn't care if steve gets a job anymore as long as he's around.

summer comes and goes, and in the absence of hopper, steve starts becoming somewhat close to his own dad for once. they start talking about things with one another. little things, but still things. bit by bit, they're becoming father and son again the way steve and his mother are mother and son now.

fall of '85 comes around, and steve has a job again, but it's closer to his house this time so that if anything even remotely similar to the government coverup disaster of the summer shows up, he can still be near his parents. they meet robin, and respect it when steve tells them he's not interested in her (even if they don't necessarily believe it). they meet his gaggle of kids, one at a time, and it becomes clear to them just how absent they've been over the years when each kid has a different kind of surprise when they meet. "steve has parents in hawkins?" or "oh...steve didn't mention you two."

spring break of '86 has steve closing up again, which is the last thing his mother and father want from him with an alleged murderer on the loose, and kids going missing left and right. it isn't until the 25th of march, in the early hours of the morning, when steve shows up with said "murderer" bleeding from all sorts of wounds that look entirely inhuman cradled in his arms, with wounds of his own, that they realize something: he never tells them anything for their sakes, not for his own.

they hole up eddie munson in a guest bedroom, suspended between life and death, for several days. they notice things about steve, about his kids, about the way he looks after eddie, about the way he disappears for hours at a time while the sky outside turns red, and it's then that steve harrington's parents become his mom and dad.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Oh, the Lure of Emily

I've been withdrawing.

Not for all that long, I don't think, but social media goes so fast, so that means letting a lot of opportunities to be "social" disappear into the ether. I shouldn't. I need to practice connecting with people and it used to be so much easier for me to do that on the internet, but I really hate just about everything about it now. It's hard to put what I mean into words fast enough, and it seems like that's hard for a lot of people, but we're doing it anyway. That's a lot of what I don't like interacting IRL, and it's here now. I haven't found a place that's not like that.

I entered into this level of interaction at the behest of a soulless corporation that doesn't care about any of us (clearly) and I'm being asked to pay more than I wanted to give (ex. curate an ever-lengthening feed of more people who want to be seen, help train AIs who'll render me and others invisible, accept a certain amount of increasingly heinous ideas with no pushback to be polite/for my own mental health/to keep my interaction from being nothing but that stuff), in return for much less than what I wanted to get. Mainly, it's so strangers can click a button that says they "like" something I did, and never interact with me, or any other aspect of me, ever again.

It's like that on my site, too, except I disabled the "like" and comment functions out of frustration. The interface became unsustainable and It's mainly bots using it. I've improved my ratio of "recorded clicks that were probably a human being" vs. "probably a webcrawler or spambot" for the privilege of seeing how few people are interested.

And social media isn't helping. I mean, why would it? It's getting all it wants out of me on spec, and it does not have to deliver visibility. It never did. That was always something I needed to "earn." It just seemed to be easier to do that in Web 1.0. I had a message board, once. It survived a move from one dying host to another (which, I think, is also dead now - everyone's on Discord) and I picked up enough people to write and have fun, with very few jerks I needed to ban, and no bots. Wow. If someone was being a total bastard, they were made of meat and I could yell at them and register an objection like a person. Does anyone out there remember that?

A big part of me wants to be a postmodern Emily Dickenson. You can have my work after I'm dead, if you want it. I'll "publish" by printing it out and putting it in a box. Even the fanfic stuff. Interacting with fandoms hardly seems worth it for me, they've got their own issues. And, as for social, you may have one garden party a year, and maybe I'll exchange emails with one guy who says "this stuff is good". We live small enough, and we're doing well enough, that I could probably hide and keep making art uncompensated. Unless something happened, and then I'd probably wind up on the street or in an institution of some kind. Not the nice kind.

And, as much as you [as in, anyone who trips over this] would protest the loss of me to my face - out of some feeling of human solidarity or philosophical devotion - were I to vanish, it wouldn't matter where. You'd get used to not seeing me. You'd read something else. Maybe I'd be happier, maybe I wouldn't, but that wouldn't involve you, so you'd move on.

That big, dumb jerk Nietzsche (who was, at least, made of meat) posited that Sisyphus must be happy, because he knows he's doing what he's supposed to and what's going to happen next, forever. But, really, the only thing you'd have to do is say to him, "Every time you put one iota of effort into pushing this rock, there's a small chance it'll take off and fly. If you're really doing your job, it will, it's just a matter of time!" And then it doesn't. Not just for his whole life, for eternity.

I'm not being punished for cheating death. I'm being punished for cheating corporations - not even cheating them all that much, I don't think, but it's enough. I don't look profitable, because that wasn't why I started pushing this rock. I wanted to make a difference. I'd like enough money to live and keep creating, and to pay some people to help me, but all that's just some boxes to tick on the way to making a difference. And I can't tick those boxes for a corporation or for myself.

The only thing that's gotten me attention is when someone bigger than me gives me a namecheck. I could just keep begging creators I love to do that, but a lot of people do that, and I don't think creators like it. They didn't ask for that responsibility. They don't have time to vet every person and see if their work is actually good or just AI generated garbage. Or delusional garbage from someone who thinks they can create, but can't, really. I'm losing the confidence to keep begging people to understand that I'm not delusional. Maybe I am, ya know? That would explain my situation too.

At least, if I kept it all to myself, I'd be dead when someone found my boxes and boxes of papers and chose an excerpt for their treatise on hypergraphia in freaky recluses.

Thoreau got it twisted. People make pretty baskets so someone will use them. If it has no use, it's neither a basket nor an art object. Someone has to pick it up and use it for it to be either of those things, and hopefully both. I use my baskets. I think other people could, but I know I use them. It would be a lot easier for me to do that if I didn't keep leaving them outside when I've finished weaving and hoping someone will pick them up.

But, I typed this into a window on Tumblr, so it's going outside with the rest. As will the others, for the time being. My words will probably be used to train an AI, and already have been. Yours too. Self-determination is reserved for the Emilies. I do want it, but...

Not enough to give up this painful hope that a rock might fly.

[chirpsythismorning]

So what I'm hearing is that Netflix planned on holding on for around 6 months, but due to the support from the public and now actors and directors, they might have to give in sooner than they expected?

I mean, basically.

The longest strike was 153 days, which is approximately five months.

You could argue Netflix is willing to hold out for as long as the writers are, which the record shows, is not that long, with the most being five months because people can't survive not being paid for that long.... That's why there is a number that we are able to guess at least roughly speaking.

It's not like a strike can go on for 1-2 years or something. If it did, hypothetically speaking, I would guess entertainment as we know it would never return again. And so I'm just gonna guess (hope) that it won't reach that level of severity...

There’s no way for certain to know what Netflix was thinking going into this. We can speculate based on what they've said leading up to it and based on how they talk about it and dance around the situation now, but for now it’s just a guessing game.

And so don't mind me guessing away.

I'm gonna guess that Netflix was probably optimistic that a lot of people wouldn't be willing to join the strike, bc of how recent COVID delays were and how negatively that impacted a lot of people's lives and income. There's a good chance their assumption was that the majority wouldn't be willing to put themselves through something like that all over again, and so soon.

But I think that they grossly underestimated that our society has changed A LOT since 2007, which is maybe in part what they were basing a lot of their assumptions on. It really doesn't take much these days to bring a bunch of people together and make them inspire change. We've seen entire companies change things because of backlash in a matter of hours. Social media has made this the norm, with it being very difficult in recent years to sweep stuff like this under the rug, expecting to come out of it comfortably. A lot of people are saying that this strike has a lot more support from the public in general than the previous strike did. And not only do you have writers striking, but big names in entertainment striking alongside them (and counting).

What I am intrigued by, is if they thought Stranger Things would continue production, despite the strike? Arguably we know most of s5 was already written, or at least somewhere around the first 5-6 episodes.

If the Duffers were sellouts, ready to cash in, they could have, as the creators themselves, started filming and fixed scripts on their own during the production and said fuck the writers, essentially siding with Netflix. And then by the time those later episodes needed to be filmed, the Duffers could have either written them all by themselves in time or maybe the strike would be over by that point and they would be back in the mix? TBH a lot of fans had this expectation, so I do wonder if Netflix had it too...

What was even on everyones minds leading up to this strike? What was Netflix thinking? What were the Duffer Brother's thinking? What were the ST writers thinking? What were all the key players involved with the show thinking? And were they fully disclosing how they planned to execute their thoughts and decisions, with with one another?

Something I think about, is how leading up to the strike, there was this almost calculated approach to how the writers were doing things...

They knew the strike was coming, and yet they were making an effort to engage with fans consistently, in that month leading up to it, like it was business as usual, with genuine easter eggs and stuff to get fans hyped up like they always do, all with the assumption filming was just around the corner. And since the strike obviously they have been silent, striking.

Because of how they went about it, it almost felt like a last minute choice, but maybe that was their plan? Like maybe that was the whole point?

If they had posted about the strike too soon or gave the impression filming wasn't actually right around the corner, that might have worked against them? Maybe they wanted to give everyone, including Netflix, the impression that filming was starting in June as planned, but then pull the rug under everyone once the strike finally got set in motion?

Because tbh the Duffers joining in on the strike is one of the biggest power moves of all of the power moves going on out there. ALL of them. Netflix is believed to be who is going to hold this strike out more than any other streamer/network.....

And so, technically speaking, seeing as ST5, Netflix's biggest show of all time, cannot start filming until this strike is over... Something's gotta give.

It’s crazy to think, but the second that the strike ends, filming for s5 is going to start getting set up and started. Netflix themselves are putting off the filming of their show rn, not the writers asking for fair wages. Why would we want writers being underpaid to write our shows, while the CEO's are making hundreds of millions...? Why in the hell would Netflix want to force the writers to settle for a horrible deal in the end, only to have them return to work saying HEY welcome back sorry about that. The animosity, the whole vibe would be awful. Out of everyone, least of all the writers don't want to have to go back to work feeling defeated and wronged, only to be expected to create their best work to date. They're all out here doing what they're doing because they love it and now their standing up to say they want to be properly compensated for all that work and dedication. It's not asking that much and that's the reality of the situation. Netflix needs to face that reality before they lose the trust of their entire work force and user base.

There's another aspect to this I want to guess, and it sort of pisses me off, but I'm going to say it anyways because I had thought about it a while back.

I made claims over these last few months, that I thought it would take between 10-12 months to film ST5 (for in-demand actors schedule conflict reasons) and with another 7 months at least for post production. This assumption put s5 at a late fall 2024 release or an early spring 2025 release.

One main concern I had back then, but didn't really talk about, was how even though a March 2025 release seemed like plenty of time, that because Netflix is known for their love of ST seasons releasing in the summer, what if they held off to do just that?.

Netflix is convinced summer it's when ST will get the most views. They have a whole thing about it. And so, I worried that even though the math added up to March 2025, even as a worst case scenario, that for some reason, we could end up getting it in summer 2025.

Another reason why I think Netflix would want a summer 2025 release as opposed to a fall 2024 or a spring 2025, is because the longer ST stays on their platform with this hype for it with a new season still coming, the better.

Once Stranger Things is gone, there are just so many unknowns for Netflix...

While I doubt they're so unreasonable as to wait it out until Summer 2026 (I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt here), I wouldn't be surprised if one factor for why they are okay with waiting this strike out for a good 3-4 months at least, is because then they'll be able to have the excuse to release ST5 in summer 2025, despite all the complaints from consumers saying its too long of a wait, with the excuse being, well the strike happened and that's just the way it is.

And so yeah having this thought recently sort of pissed me off. Just because I think they would benefit a lot from a Summer 2025 release vs. anything earlier than that, along with them preferring their summer releases.

Don't get me wrong, I don't think this is their only reason for doing what they're doing by all means. However, if ST is a big concern and deciding factor for them regardless (it is), then they are arguably thinking about the worst and best case scenarios, and ST5 Summer 2025 probably doesn't sound all that bad to them...

Filming for ST5 would need to start in about 5ish months from now, for them to have a comfortable Summer 2025 release, imo. This is how I feel right now based on my assumptions on how long filming and post-production will take, being about 16-19 months overall.

BUT again I think that them holding out too long is not looking good for their brand which is already really at risk as it is.

It's hard to have aesthetic luncheons with investors and advertisers and new talent hoping to join the happy family, when there's all this negative press surrounding them, making people think twice before wanting to associate with them.

I would say now, more than ever before, I am pretty cautiously optimistic.

If the writers and the actors AND even directors were to go on strike, all at once, that's not exactly heard of. As far as I know that's never happened in our history. Hell even if it's just the writers and the actors, who are the directors going to direct exactly??!??

I do wonder how far they're going to be willing to take this.

It's just pennies for them to resolve this, like it could literally be resolved with the person at the top saying just get it done with and we'd be on our way.

But they're greedy about short term gains and they also want to create an environment of having their employees fear risking losing it all, having no choice but to accept the bare minimum, than for them to feel the courage to actually stand up at the risk of losing it all.

It's going to be an interesting next few weeks and potentially months, depending on how the next few weeks go down...

Again, cautiously optimistic!

[accidental-spice]

OC Mundane Tag Game

Thanks for the tag @musewrangler !!

Rules: Pick an oc you'd like to talk about and answer the questions for them! Then tag ten people, or as many as you can. 'Underdeveloped character I adopted' is fine, too! Absolutely no pressure to play, though.

Also, if some of it can't apply to your ocs, just answer what would be the answer - like if they're in a historical setting, they likely can't watch movies, but what is a movie they'd like?

(Also, most people have many ocs, so feel free to retag people and answer as many times as you get tagged! Or get really wild and just answer for as many ocs as you'd like! :D)

Questions:

What is their favorite movie? I'm gonna answer this one for my OCs Jay and Leila, for they are a package deal. Jay's favorite movie is The Mummy (1999)! Leila accuses him of having a crush on Evie, which he staunchly denies, like a liar. He also names his ship The Wrong Side of The River, so he can say he's on the wrong side of the river (if ya know, ya know). I think Leila's favorite might be The Princess Diaries, but she has a hard time picking a favorite! Joe reminds her of Jay

What is their favorite season? Jay loves winter. He likes cold weather, and the snow!! Plus, it brings back good memories of snowball fights with his sister and parents. Leila prefers summer, as she has very low cold tolerance. Plus, she loves swimming

What do they find annoying? *snorts* so much. Jay finds a LOT annoying, especially... people. His bottom three, so to speak, are humidity, people who waste his time, and his mom's brother. Leila would immediately answer Jay. But she'd be mostly joking. Mostly

How would they like to spend their Christmas or equivalent holiday? Jay likes to spend the time with his sister and parents, and his cousins. Later in life, Leila joins that circle, too. She, however, will be going to several parties. And probably dragging Jay with to at least one. She LOVES Secret Santa and White Elephant, and likes to go out and admire everyone's Christmas lights!!

Do they play an instrument? If so, what? How good are they at it? Jay does not. He likes music, though! Leila might have rudimentary piano or harmonica skills, though! Emphasis on rudimentary, though

What's their favorite meal to eat? Jay likes mac and cheese! The baked homemade kind, with bacon pieces in it. His dad made it special, and Leila learns how while they work together, and makes it for him! Leila's favorite food probably varies wildly depending on the day/month/season/mood she's in. But she LOVES a good BLT, or any kind of sandwich. She likes to put the most random ingredients together, which Jay thinks is madness, though he reluctantly admits they're usually pretty good. Usually

Do they have a favorite video game or board game? Mmmm, I think Jay would enjoy Splendor. It's big on strategy, which he'd like. And he'd definitely love Mafia/One Night/Resistance/Coup. Spy games like that! Leila would also love the spy type games, but she'd also LOVE Galaga!!

Do they celebrate their birthday? Jay wouldn't make a big deal out of it, but the women in his life will NEVER let him get away with that. His sister, Ro, will ALWAYS bake him something and show up with it, no matter where in the galaxy he's at, and Leila would make him his favorite meal, let him choose what they watch without arguing with him over it for 15 minutes, and get him some small present! She, on the other hand, REFUSES to work on her birthday, and buys herself at least one present. Jay's not the best at gift getting, but he'd make an effort for her

What's their bedtime routine? Jay's just gonna brush his teeth, and get in bed. Then he'll probably read for a few minutes before he goes to sleep, either work stuff or whatever book he's currently reading. Leila will brush her teeth, wash her face, and then probably has some skin care regime I would not know the details of. Then, approximately five minutes after they've both gone to bed, Leila will message Jay some random weird question like, are lobsters mermaids for crabs, and Jay will respond with GO TO SLEEP LEILA. Once they're married, she's finally able to ask them in real time, and he's finally able to throw a pillow at her

What's an OC (or canon character) they like to spend time around? What do they tend to do together? I mean, there's obviously each other! And what DON'T they do together? They're travelling the galaxy on a ship together, fighting the Empire, so they work together a lot, plan for missions. They'll cook together, eat together, and watch shows together when they can. And of course, they do missions together. This usually involves a lot of Leila talking over earpieces and Jay being like, Leila. We are currently incognito, I cannot talk to you right now

Tagging @laughingphoenixleader @jessicas-pi @flickeringflame216 @mrgartist @singswan-springswan @kanerallels @o-lei-o-lai-o-lord @misscrazyfangirl321 @christian-latte-anon @ceterisparibus116

[alexandriteobscuraarchive]

I think I might've missed the posts about the situation but why did you split your blog up and (most importantly) are you doing okay? I know that was something that was a big source of stress for you. Also can people follow your new blog?

((First and foremost: thank you for asking if I'm okay or not. I know that's a rather easy thing to just assume one way or another online and I appreciate the care and effort. Also I'm sorry if you missed anything important, I tried to reblog the related posts a handful of times but you can't always reach everyone, you know? It wasn't intentional I assure you. To answer if I'm okay or not I'm....getting there, is the best way to put it I suppose? I'll try to keep this brief.

I'm taking a slight break (not a hiatus and while I do occasionally slap a post on the dash I'm not really speaking or engaging ic) from this blog because; and I'm trying to keep this is a simple as I can, I'm dealing with a lot of feelings of anger and resentment towards this blog (which I know is unfair to the people--which is pretty much everyone here---who haven't done anything wrong but I'll spare detailing you the intricacies of my deeply rooted anxieties and etc) which is harder for me to reconcile/progress with in a positive way compared to feeling stressed and lonely over on the new blog at the moment and so I'm choosing to focus my efforts over there because I feel like I can progress in a positive/healthy way, enjoy what I'm doing in a safe space, and so on. I am incredibly stressed---what I did and am still working on diligently to the best of my ability every day---is stressful to the point of being overwhelming if I think about it too hard, look at everything on the whole, etc, but it's necessary. It's necessary to enforce boundaries and not neglect myself a space where I can write what I want and what I love so dearly and that makes it worth it.

I split my blog up due to a lot of unwarranted harassment (anonymous for the most part but some people weren't, all of them have been blocked) that has been going on for months a thing that only increased in severity in spite of my earnest attempts to understand or work through what was going on, reconcile any expressed 'issues', repeat and thorough attempts to explain my side of things including offering to help people around the content that they professed to hate so strongly (said hate which bled over to me as a person and writer/roleplayer in general) and so on. It became untenable incredibly quickly---and if you followed me to alexandrite (which had a different name/center muse originally but I digress) from my former rp blog you'd know how severe the harassment there was and how I promised myself I'd handle such things in the future--- and this is me doing that. This experience on the whole was incredibly similar to the one that happened on my og blog and I promised myself that I wouldn't go through that again if i could help it.

I deserve to be treated better; both by myself and by everyone else, and this is me doing that (meaning treating myself better at the very least rather than staying in a hateful/hurtful environment) even if most days it makes me want to scream. Did I want to split everything up? To be completely honest no I did not. But I think in the end this is the best solution for everyone involved---but most of all this is the best solution for me---and once the stress ebbs a bit (and by a bit I mean a lot, a fucking lot, because I'm kinda drowning rn lol) I'm hoping to feel more secure. I'm....getting there, like I said. One thing at a time, always one thing at a time. I'm already doing good things over there and soon I'll be doing good things over here again too. Both blogs can (and will) coexist and we can all have fun together no matter where you follow me or who you want to interact with....eventually. I wish that people would realize how they treat others---that driving someone out of their own space when they've done nothing wrong, when the only thing they've done (or tried to do) is share something that they love with their friends/writing partners---isn't okay. I wish people would realize that how I was treated was not fucking okay (and most won't unfortunately) but I realized it and that, at least, is important. I said 'this isn't okay' and did what I needed to do not only to better myself (which is something that is incredibly hard for me to do; honestly it would've been impossible for me to do even a year ago) but to keep doing what I love. I'm trying to focus on that. I'm trying to let that drive me forward over everything else.

And to end on a further positive note: Yes, you can follow my new blog if you want to, all that I ask is that you make sure that your interest in the blog and the muses featured there is genuine and that you actually want to interact with them before following. If you liked them (any of them) and wanted to interact but never had the chance for whatever reason, or if we started something but never finalized anything yet, so and so forth, you're welcome to come on over because I'd love to have you. And if you don't (because as I've said a hundred times to idk how many deaf/closed ears) have any interest that's okay too. They're not for everyone and it's a lot to learn/take in even with my offering to help people in a variety of ways (an offer that is always open!), I get that and hold no resentment in that regard whatsoever, all that I ask is that you understand that I'm taking care of myself by doing this...all of this...and that I appreciate you too. The people who remain here waiting for me to come back and post for the muses here are just as appreciated as the people who follow me on my new blog. I love all of you very much no matter what and I look forward to writing with you all again, it's just that some of you will see more of me than the others will, at least for a little while.

If you want to follow my tcol blog you can go here @constellationcrowned (you'll see my self promo for the blog over here periodically as well, it's obvious af lol) or if you have any questions please feel free to contact me privately either over there or on discord. And thank you again for your kind words anon, truly, I hope you have a nice day/night and I look forward to potentially writing with you soon no matter where that might be.))

[alright-gay-two]

My mom sent me a text with the word "folx" in it and I haven't responded because it's making me want to combust. I cannot think of a polite way to ask her to never send me a gender neutral word with an x thrown in it for no reason ever fucking again because it's making me go feral.

Idk I'm just thinking about when i came out and I didn't want to and everything went to hell and the only thing I asked is that they make an effort to use my pronouns and they said they would try. And then my dad literally never tried (he sent texts to my mom about me that would have they in it like once and she a billion times and my mom would show me and be like see look how HARD he's trying!!!! Like ma'am he's trying to get back on your good side after he fucked up the dogs face and then refused to let you take him to the vet because they would think he's a dog beater ((he was)) so forgive me if I'm not feeling the love for something he's preformatively doing for only you to see) and my mom uses them sometimes and then mostly just says my name a lot and throws a she in there when she's said Katie too much in a sentence. Like you could just use my pronouns like I asked you to when I came out to you 7 years ago instead of sending me words that are already gender neutral but with an x (to be inclusive!!!!! :-) ) so you can feel like you're showing you support me without having to commit to the thing I asked you to do to support me

Anyway its getting me thinking about how I literally never directly tell anyone my pronouns because I don't want to experience being misgendered on purpose and once I break that seal it's like. Cool that you're not putting an effort in. It makes it impossible for me to want to maintain any kind of relationship. But lately there have been people in my life who I'm not expecting to use my pronouns because I've (purposefully) not told them and they've found out through other means and started using them anyway and it feels uh. Really good. Which has me thinking maybe I need to reevaluate my stance on never telling anyone my pronouns directly?? And the more I'm thinking about it the more it's like. Fuck. Did I really let myself get so beaten down by a fear of rejection and disregard for the bare minimum that I've packed it away in a neat little box and tell myself it's fine because no one can hurt me if it's in the box!! :) but at the same time it just feels exhausting to have to bring out my pronouns with every interaction and then hope I don't get hurt. Idk I'm working on uh. Being able to do things that make me uncomfortable with my therapist and like. Trying not to pack everything away as soon as I get nervous that it could potentially hurt me and this feels like something I should be able to advocate for but. It's in the box. The box is safe. I can't be upset with people misgendering me if they don't know they're doing it and everything gets to stay nice and safe and unhurt in the box. Every time I feel my soul shrivel up a bit more I just break it off and put it in the box and it doesn't matter that everyone will always think of me as a girl because the box is redirecting the feeling of rejection that I cannot deal with. The box holds on to all my trust issues and keeps them safe. And this probably has nothing to do with the ongoing issue I have with my parents not using my pronouns after being the only people ive directly told "it is important to me that you put an effort into using my pronouns" and being so shitty when I came out. That one hasn't been able to fit into the box for years now

[jvzebel-x]

Real talk: you would rather a republican president? I know it won't make things better to have a dem president, but it can't make things worse.

real talk: i don't see the difference. &until i am given a reason to see the difference other than, "the other guy is more cartoon-style evil than us so you're a bad person if you don't vote for us", i'm going to hold up my threat to beat the shit out of anyone with a baseball bat who has the balls to try to tell me anything. especially if they cannot provide me with actual proof that they have a right to talk down to me via real life work they've done. because I have put in the work. I have done things other than try to ease my guilty conscience with the only thing the more&more openly fascist government allows us to pretend we have. it will be a cold day in hell when one of these vote-pushing little clowns thinks they can step to me&not leave bloody for their trouble. "can't make things worse". that's the problem with you cunts-- why are you always fucking operating on how much worse things could theoretically be FOR YOU instead of putting in any real effort to thinking about how much BETTER they can be for EVERYONE ELSE? pathetic&self-defeating. lazy&uneducated.

you know how close Oregon was to losing their blue status last election cycle? do you know how much it hurt me to have to push electoralism in my real actual life to keep this stupid fucking state from swinging right? how many people were out who can't even fucking vote because of their status as either illegal or former convict, but were still out pushing for electoralism? well, we fucking won. the state is still blue. since that election, dozens of laws&regulations have been pushed to make life for the unhoused not just unliveable-- actively deadly. just as one example, they have made it illegal to hand out tents on the streets. do you have any idea how much blood these politicians have on their hands just from that one decision?

no. of course not. because people like you don't have any idea what real work looks like, &you have no fucking respect for the people who are willing to put their own problems aside to try to help the greater good. how the fuck would any of you know what that looks or feels like? you get the imaginary image of the orange boogeyman coming for you, &suddenly no one+nothing else matters. your complicity leaves blood on your fucking hands that no amount of "real talk" will ever wash off.

[6thfjune]

The beginning

Long overdue graduation but alhamdulillah for the opportunity.

Looking back to my 4th year of college, I would never imagine getting a degree would have taken so long for me since I love to plan things out. Insurmountable amount of hurdles that I felt like giving up in the way I finally made to this day, officially. Those extended years have been something else. It has opened my eyes to many things and many people who actually care for me. It has its ups and dows and ins and outs. It is just the beginning of little steps in the real world, but insyaAllah, everything will all be fine (again) as long as I try and believe.

Leading up to graduation day, I was very unsure for what the future held me — 2 months before graduation, I was in my lowest, which I started afraid of the future. Some people might say it was normal since a new fresh grad are unsure about what they plan next. Since I've faced some limitations and rejections, target cancelations. I was afraid to dream again. But as I recall this momentous year and the previous seven years glued to the university, suddenly a full spectrum of emotions started circling around me—from the moment I step foot with a proud smile and nerves, right to the moment I hold my degree certificate.

It was right at that moment where a whirlwind of emotions rushed through me—after long days of classes, lived independently and away from my family, longer hours of studying, countless sleepless nights while working on my dietetic reports and thesis, obstacles, and hurdles started in my last year of university.

There were moments when I doubted myself, questioned my self-worth, and was anxious with the future and trapped in my own fear since people around me already achieve big.

These years also taught me about life and all the crucial lessons to be gasped in between. It guided about the value of experiences and the rewards of hardships.

It hasn't been as easy as it seems, and truth be told, it wasn't a smooth sailing journey. Poured and endured in order to come this far. I am proud of who I have become and am forever thankful to myself foremost for staying and not giving up while juggling personal and professional matters until the end.

Despite all that. I made it through. I have finally made it to the end. It took a lot of effort to overcome everything at once, but I'm blessed that I've been surrounded by good people who always support me to be better, my dear friends (You know who you are even though you didn't make it into a picture in my grad sessions) have been my biggest supporters and be the one who I knew I could turn to, for everything, literally everything. I am too grateful to have you by my side!

They say it's cool to have the best friends to keep, but that became the reason we had no other options but to stick together. Also, I'm thankful for all the congratulations and wishes on my personal chats. Sorry for not informing you about my grad sessions beforehand. Perhaps I will inform you another big day in the future, hehe!

Thank you, everyone who ever crossed path with me. I believe I've learned something from each of you, from how you managed to stand up after experience things. Thank you also for the silent prayers you made for me

I will always remember my parents' proud faces, seeing I graduated, although It was long awaiting for them that I didn't choose to stop and give up — they've been my greatest pillar of strength. I knew these past few years weren't for us, but the reason Allah tested us was to make us bonding more together. I feel like our communication is much better than before. The more I think about it, the more I can't seem put into words. The situation has made us stronger—giving us the reason that family is home that we could turn back to. The amount of hurdles and memories we have together and how much they mean for me. Thank you for the sacrifice you have made and for instilling in me to finish that have guided me to this day.

All in all, alhamdulillah. Some people might say everyone has their right time and their own timeline, do not rush over things (like the way I used to do). It's one of those timings that we should pat our back, Gita. Towards more challenges, we're in! 👋

To all the aspiring dreamers out here, I hope my journey serves a reminder that with determination, faith, and self-believe, anything is within your reach.

To my dear self, I hope you can look back to this day and reread again whenever you feel anxious about the future.

Sincerely,

Gita

| @6thfjune

[sincerely-krp]

ok but can we talk about how they've been getting these nasty anons about activity but those same anons won't even participate in the event the admins are hosting?? like make up your damn mind. if you don't like it just leave, the rest of us are having a great time. // this might be an unpopular opinion, but i genuinely do not believe that members’ interest in events is a clear indicator whatsoever in activity levels or their desire for more activity. at all. definitely not in a time like right now where activity is stagnant everywhere. and i’m speaking as someone who has done admin work for a few directories.

events are always going to be hit or miss, even in fast-paced directories. some months you’ll have great hits where a good chunk of your directory joins in. other times, you’re going to have massive misses with minimal entries, and it may sometimes happen two, three months in a row. it sucks and feels like a bit of a blow to your ego, but you need to develop a thicker skin about this stuff sometimes. you can always come back with a hit next time if events are that important to you. a miss, or multiple misses, doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things if your members are still regularly posting and commenting on the timeline, or being welcoming within group chats.

something to keep in mind too is that events that have a less specific theme tend to do better. for example, masquerade themes always seem to do pretty decent, even if they are kind of cliché. but an event that is based on a niche topic or media source is probably not going to garner much interest, no matter how much effort the admin put into it—unless the directory is actually based around that topic/media. you have to keep in mind that not everyone will have had the same exposure to it for whatever reason (examples being clashing interests, potential triggers, major cultural differences, etc.). if you want to consistently have good ideas with minimal flops, then it also really helps to foster friendly dialogue between yourself and your members by creating a safe space for them to give you ideas. even polls are great for this. or open a google forms with multiple choice answers.

at the end of the day, yes, it sucks when your directory isn’t active, it sucks when an event isn’t popular, and it sucks to get nasty anons (since no one deserves these). but what else are you doing to make your members comfortable? what environment are you trying to develop? do you actively check in on your members or do you only ever do the bare minimum by posting activity checks and new members? even as members yourselves in your own directory, are YOU active with your dms, posts, etc. or are you dismissive of new people to only focus on your ship partners? because being snarky to your members about their lack of interest toward an event, or expressing disappointment in your members when you yourselves have been absent admin, isn’t the flex or power move that you think it is. if anything, that’s going to get more vitriol tossed your way, and at that point, you’re just as much to blame for your community dying for not being professional about it.

・❥・