#everyone enjoys making david's life difficult lol

[sherlock-is-ace]

they let 11 play football because matt smith is good at it but they made david tennant struggle to say "judoon platoon upon the moon" kdjfhgdfg

[footprintsinthesxnd]

Ok I haven't watched band of brothers yet(just getting into fandom in the year of 2023) and I saw a comment under Webster's post saying that he's beautiful but a huge disappointment lol. Did he do something? Cuz I liked him(well yeah the gifs lol) but did he betray someone or smth like that? Thank you! )

WEBSTER IS A DISAPPOINTMENT!!!!

Who said that? Well I disagree with this statement but I appreciate that everyone has a right to their own opinion and maybe David Webster isn’t for everyone.

Personally I really like Webster, he’s one of my favourite men of Easy Company. I’m currently rereading his book ‘Parachute Infantry’ which is one of my favourite books written by the men of Easy Company. It definitely worth a read and give you a true insight into what it was like to be a paratrooper in ww2

Webster also never got a promotion and stayed as a Privater throughout the war. This was due to him turning down any promotion he was offered. He believed he was there to do his duty and actively fought in the war, never letting his fellow paratroopers down but didn’t want to volunteer for anything. He fought bravely in Normandy and Holland during Operation Market Garden where he is wounded and doesn’t return to combat until February 1945. Webster spurned promotion, considering himself a chronicler of war above all else.

I understand that after Bastogne Easy Company had been through a very difficult time, and the fact that Webster didn’t come back until after this instead of going AWOL did put a strain on his and his fellow paratroopers relationship. But he does regain the respect of his fellow paratroopers and is with them all the way until the end of the war (having been with the company since Normandy).

I think that Webster is a very interesting character/ man. I think he has a real way with words through his book that truly makes you believe that you’re there with him.

I’m always sad when I think how Webster’s short life comes to an end at the age of 39. I don’t want to spoil the series for you or anything but this is after the war which you don’t see in the series. I feel like Webster had so much more to give this world and he was taken far too soon.

I feel like I can really relate with Webster as I too enjoy English literature. I feel like we would of had some good conversations discussing books we’d read.

Overall, I really like David Webster, I think he’s a great guy and the actor you plays him, Eion Bailey, is very attractive. He has lovely blue eyes and I feel like I could stare at him all day 😂

I hope you find this helpful and I highly recommend you watch the series. It’s an incredibly detailed and well made ww2 series. Feel free to message me/ send more asks about Webster or other characters 😊

[mobagehelllocal]

“lucky ending” extra notes i & iii

Hi, I said I would do it but then I released ver i so long ago that I felt I shouldn't do this unless I had another version out at least so yay! finally! ... I'll add ver ii here when I get around to writing it... *shifty eyes* So as usual, this is just my thought process and ideas while writing lol.

*please do not read if you haven’t read “lucky ending” ver i (dorm leaders) & ver iii (rook & lilia).

It was inspired by an anon ask and the button tradition from Japanese schools.

The anon ask went like this: First at all, I like do much your writing and I hope you are doing well. Second, I was wondering what would happen if the MC (Fem!s/o I guess) decided to not go back to her world, like she decide stay with her villain? Can you do make headcanons of this for the dorm leaders? Thank you very much. – from Anonymous

The button tradition, as narrated by the first years, is done when one person confesses and the other responds by giving them the button closest to their heart. In most Japanese uniforms it’s the second uniform, but in Twisted Wonderland--I looked at the ceremonial robes and the closest button should be the fifth. Maybe. I could be wrong. 

The songs I listened to while writing this! 

The original dorm leaders (and Rook) was written while listening to “Lucky Ending”, the ending theme of Fruits Basket. The English lyrics (translated by otenkiame!) are: 

“Change is important. I want to do it well,/ but I wanna cry. It's still bad. I wanna cry” 

“The word "goodbye" has disappeared completely from this world/ All that remains is me fooling around next to you/A day you don't laugh won't come anymore”

“I've understood it since being here/ These feelings of wanting to protect you aren't a misunderstanding/ If we can call what connects us bonds,/ everything changes/ everybody changes/ Even if in a different world, it'll never be different/ everything changes/ everybody changes/ Don't change, ever/ Stay here, stay here”

I think it’s obvious why I chose to use this as the title of the series. It’s a story about change but it’s also a story about the things you don’t want to change... And I think it’s not wrong to want to hold onto things. 

I also listened to the same playlist that I listened to while writing “wendy?” “hello peter pan”:

“Can’t help falling in love” cover by Annapantsu, “If you’re not the one” by David Beddingfield, “Who Knew” by P!nk and “All Too Well” by Taylor Swift. 

For Lilia in particular, I was listening to three Beauty and the Beast songs on loop. “Evermore” by Josh Groban, “Days in the Sun” by the live action cast and, of course--”How does a moment last forever” by Celine Dion.

“How does a moment last forever?/ How can a story never die?/ It is love we must hold onto/ Never easy, but we try/ Sometimes our happiness is captured/ Somehow, our time and place stand still/ Love lives on inside our hearts and always will”

Also for Lilia, Tolerate It by Taylor Swift.

“You're so much older and wiser and I/ I wait by the door like I'm just a kid”

“I made you my temple, my mural, my sky/Now I'm begging for footnotes in the story of your life”

Malleus was definitely the first piece finished. Closely followed by Vil’s. I believe there was a gap inbetween them before I did the others? I wrote bits and pieces of Leona, Idia, Kalim and Azul’s. I think I finished Leona, Idia, Kalim then Riddle because I distinctly remember saving Azul for last. 

One of the most important things for me, is that each story stands distinct of each other. So I gave myself a really hard time trying to figure out how each one uniquely belonged to each of the characters.

For the Prologue... I think because it’s set at the graduation of certain characters, I used that to my advantage and implied the stronger bonds between the Yuu!Reader and the entirety of the cast. Because a lot of time has passed and I feel like--regardless of what other people believe, bonds will be made and relationships will have strengthened enough for it to happen. 

Riddle is honestly another really difficult character for me to write. I generally do love him and I enjoy his story, but something about him is difficult and I’m not sure why. 

I think a part of me is also really miffed because from Heartslabyul-Savanaclaw, you could feel that Riddle really cared for Yuu on some level but then he just straight up disappears come Octavinelle chapter. I feel like there was potential to develop their relationship even more. 

He WENT UP AND TIED YOUR RIBBON I REMEMBER I WENT DOKI DOKI OVER THAT. 

I feel like because I’ve established that it’s a Yuu!Reader, it’s impossible for this story to not include both Ace and Deuce. So of course they featured in really big roles for this one, being responsible for telling Riddle the story.

I have to thank my friend, Mes, for bouncing ideas with me. They were the one who suggested what I could do with Riddle’s story by having ADeuce play such a big part!

I also tried my hardest to include Trey and Cater, and I’m pretty happy with their cameo. In a way, they definitely helped Riddle figure out his own feelings for you. 

My favourite lines are: “I think you earned that much. I don’t believe anyone’s ever been in your situation before so—there’s no right or wrong about what you’re doing. It’s all about what you want to do.”

I wish someone would tell this to Yuu in general though. They’re the only one who has ever been in their situation (to our knowledge at least) and like... they’re definitely allowed to be even more selfish. 

Leona is someone who I used to dislike a lot. I never hid that. It’s primarily because of how disappointed I am in the story of Savanaclaw probably. But like, I was always concerned about writing him properly because I thought that it was only right that I did right by him, because there would be people reading these stories who loved him. And I felt like I had to do right by that love. 

I think... it’s wrong to believe that characters... villains... cannot fall in love or “won’t fall in love.” I think it’s wrong also to think that “people don’t change for love.” 

In fact, people do change. You definitely shouldn’t change yourself to be loved, but... people change all the time to be their “better” selves. So whose to say that a good person, who you love, will not make you want to improve yourself? Isn’t that what we want when we meet people? To fall in love with someone who will ultimately make you better and never worse. 

Or so that’s how I try to write the Twisted characters when they fall in love... With an understanding that “morally” the person they are falling for is “kind” and “good” and how a part of them might just want to be better just for that person. (Especially Leona and Azul). They don’t necessarily have to be nice to everyone, but if they can be better for one person... We stan healthy character growth.  

But yeah, Leona is driven by understanding that he’s a very selfish person. But that he’s also very unfortunate and he doesn’t want tie you with someone who, he thinks, is actually worthless. He probably, deeply, thinks you deserve more.

Though his selfishness eventually wins out and well... Won’t you forgive him for it? :) For tying you down to this worthless second prince? 

I think his own self-awareness does make him try harder. Not for everyone or everything... but for you. Just for you. I think that would be Leona’s love language--spending time with you, trying for you.

He’d appreciate if you didn’t call him out on it though, that would be very embarrassing. 

Looking back, I’m surprised that it was the only version where none of the other boys from his dorm showed up lol. Which means Ruggie is the sole character who has yet to appear in the “lucky ending” series, huh.

My favourite lines from his story that still leaves me breathless and patting my past self in the back: ““I’m home—” you said—even if a part of you felt that home should have been two green eyes, a cocky smirk, and a warm patch of sunlight on the grassy ground.”

Like honestly, what was I on? Who was she?

Azul is, like Leona, someone who is so keenly aware of the things he’s lacking. In fact, he’s someone who thinks he’s lacking when he’s probably perfect in some aspects. He might act proud but a part of him--I think--thinks its not enough. It’s never enough. He can certainly do better still.

In that light, it’s why he thinks he’s undeserving of a partner. Especially one who is “kind” and “understanding.” While ultimately, Azul deserves people in his life who are that and “accepting” of him--I think he still thinks he doesn’t. 

And thats why he lets go of the Yuu!Reader. It’s why he doesn’t “chase” after her like Leona did.

It’s because he’s selfish, because he wants her--that he forces himself to let go. 

Azul needs someone who’ll tell him that he is worth something and that he’s definitely worth the effort. So please praise him a lot until he’s crying in happiness. I’m sure it’s the one thing he’s always wanted to hear from people around him.

Also my Poly!Octavinelle Agenda has never died and I am pleased Past!Ai got away with so much Poly!Octa hints in this story lol. But honestly, regardless of wht Octavinelle says... god, you can tell they genuinely care about each other.

I recently rewatched Octavinelle’s chapter and... by god, the amount of things I missed out on first watch. Jade’s concern when he realized Azul wanted to get rid of that photo... The fact Floyd was so willing to drop the fight to return to Azul too... Anyways, Poly!Octa Agenda for life.

Favourite lines: “Azul’s pathetic whimpers turned into guttural sobs. His fingers spread to cover his eyes—and his glasses slid off his face, down to his lap and then to the ground—at his actions. His whole body shook as he cried his heart out.”

It’s not as poetic as a lot of my other favourites, but for some reason these lines always get me when I reread them. There’s something so visceral about it. 

Azul’s piece is probably the least visually stimulating out of all these stories? His was so emotionally driven compared to the others and I worried a lot about that.

I think I remember I was crying so badly as I was writing this. 

Kalim is really hard for me because I feel like I struggle a lot with finding conflict in his character? He’s such a genuinely nice person, I find it hard to believe that the Yuu!Reader would feel alienated from him or something. So I brought in “environment” to get in the way. 

My use of celestial imagery for Kalim is because of the Scarabia trailer! I really loved how it put Kalim as the sun and Jamil as the moon. I definitely will take advantage of that when I get around to writing for Jamil.

So because I wanted to use the sun, I chose to use the idea of comets for Kalim? I think I remember something about how meteors are drawn to the gravitation pull of the sun and can “escape” it or “be destroyed” by it. Haha, hot. 

Jamil is someone who ultimately cares about Kalim too and I had fun writing his banter with the Yuu!Reader. I think I wanted to decribe the shadows licking his face reminscent to the marks from his Overblot but... I felt like doing that would give Jamil too much focus so I ultimately decided against it.

It would’ve been hot though. 

Oh yes, one thing I wanted to talk about is Kalim’s rushed proposal. I remember people talking about it in the tags, comments... even in asks at that time. The reason he does it is because he’s someone who didn’t realize his feelings until you spelled out your own. It was a sort of: “Oh. Right. That is the word I’d use to describe my feelings.” 

My favourite lines from his story is: “How does one bid goodbye to the sun?” and “No one ever willingly bids goodbye to the sun.They spend the rest of their lives trying to find the right way back to it.”

My god, who was this genius.

Vil is probably the most visually stunning out of all these stories. I feel like my stories go from super vivid imagery and setting to just complete emotional disasters lol. (Vil being the former and Azul’s being the latter... not that it’s bad, it actually suits the characters). 

Oh man, I remember thinking that Vil is such a hard character to write because we don’t know what his motivation for perfection is. All we knows is that he wants to be the best but, why? 

It’s like, for example, Idia. His motivations could be otaku-related. He doesn’t want to go to class because he’d rather go play or something. That sounds in character--but Vil was so hard because he wanted perfection.

But we already see him as such a perfect character, so what else did he need to be even more perfect? In that light, Chapter 5 did a really good job on presenting Vil’s motivations. 

But honestly, I think I can comfortably say that the Vil I’ve written so far is pretty accurate? To his character. I’m really grateful I read his chat lines because his comment about intelligence really got me thinking about his possible motivations. It made it really easy to understand that Vil wasn’t like majority of the real world’s influencers. 

One other thing that I was really happy about with his story is the use of the flower language. It’s something I hope I can use more because it’s so beautiful. 

Oh! And the roses the Yuu!Reader talks about are double delight roses. They are specifically bred to have two colors--yellow in the center and pink on the outside. I thought it fitting that the Yuu!Reader breed special roses for Vil.

They can be called... err... Vil Roses?

My favourite lines from his story is:  ““My happiness will not be dictated by others—no, Vil Schoenheit is a person who will grasp happiness with his own hands.” [...] “I’m giving you this button because I’ve already found happiness by your side.”” 

This line was actually inspired by Zelda C.W.’s MYth series. Specifically Hera’s story, Will. 

Idia ...for him, I somehow had a very hard time imagining him trying to tell the reader to stay. Like that didn’t compute for me? I felt like his version was better approached in a more comedic light somehow. 

I also felt that it would be cuter if the Yuu!Reader had already chosen to stay and Idia would need to hastily retrack his confession... Unfortunately, Yuu!Reader won’t let him. 

Honestly looking back on it, I wonder how much of Chapter 6 is going to make me scream and want to rewrite Idia’s part? 

My favourite lines from his story is: “He was never particularly good at lying—nor was he good at keeping secrets from you. You were a person he considered a dear friend—and he was always the type of person who ended up spilling everything to you. He liked being able to talk about the things he enjoyed—he liked that he had found someone who wanted to hear him out.”

A lot of my interpretation for Idia is closely linked to personal experience as an anime, manga and gaming fan. It was just a couple of years ago where people would actually be bullied for liking these things--but nowadays its become a norm. It’s... stunning actually but it makes me happy to know that maybe nobody will be judged for loving anime.

That being said, Idia’s longing to find someone he can talk to is something I really relate too--back then, it was so difficult to find someone to talk to about my interests... So I interpreted Idia as much the same. That what he enjoys about the Yuu!Reader is their ability to simply sit and listen to him talk. 

Malleus... man, recently I’ve been starting to fall in love with him all over again. He was my first oshi ever... Anyways, moving on. You think I’ve talked enough about immortal x mortal but nope, we are not done. I love this theme in general, romantic or platonic. 

I will never shut up about it you can’t make me. 

Sebek having a good enough friendship with Yuu!Reader is such a delicious concept. Like mutual respect and Sebek understanding that Yuu!Reader gives Malleus a different type of companionship that Sebek, Silver or Lilia couldn’t... 

And also, ultimately, Sebek and Yuu!Reader do love Malleus. In different ways, but I like the thought of Sebek respecting that and respecting the Yuu!Reader.

Me realizing just now that Silver joins Ruggie in the: “has never appeared in a lucky ending fic club.”... Sorry Silver, I swear soon. Once we get more content on you.

Celestial themes for Malleus are primarily, again, because he only ever seemed to meet you at night. And I thought it would be wonderful, if you were a bright spark to him. 

Favourite lines are definitely:  “Oh, bright light… I would prefer to live the rest of your life by your side… rather than spend centuries contemplating what it could have felt… to hold you in my arms.”

I am, always, going to be such a big sucker for the idea of immortals constantly remembering and loving mortals. Always holding them close in their memories, because in that way--their lovers have become immortal with them. 

I also like to imagine that he eventually figures out a way to connect your worlds together so you can still talk to your friends and family from that world. He is one of the most powerful magicians around, I’m sure its possible.

Rook was honestly the most difficult piece for me to write because he’s so hard(?) for me to understand. He’s a mess of contradictions honestly and I... guess I’m excited to see what he’ll do come Chapter 6. 

I actually rewrote his story so much. I got about 500 words with a different idea/plot in mind before deleting that completely and restarting from scratch. 

I feel like Rook is someone who talks big and talks about love without actually knowing what it truly might feel like. He’s someone who doesn’t understand it and ends up mistaking it for his fascination. 

Aside from me enjoying inserting other characters from the same dorm as much as possible, I felt that Vil was the perfect person to snap some sense into Rook.

Epel’s appearance there is basically to reflect how much I really hope the first year kids get really close to one another. 

Rook is also someone who I think, doesn’t try to explain himself too much. He’s someone who I think talks a lot, but if people don’t understand him then he doesn’t need to be understood? That’s my impression. Lol, when “lucky ending” became a character study. 

I also really loved the idea that Rook was fine with people running from him--to him that makes it all the more thrilling. But then you start running away from him and that just ends up making dread pool in his stomach. 

My favourite lines from his story: “‘When something ends, it must be sad. So, tell me then, how an ending could be so beautiful?’ [...] .‘But there was one ending that was beautiful, non?’ [...] ‘That’s right. ‘They lived happily ever after’—are those not the words that define a beautiful ending?’”

I used the dusk metaphor for Rook. My idea is that he starts seeing dusk as an ending and how he can’t fathom how any “ending” is beautiful. When a story ends, it’s not beautiful to him, humu. But when that ending is the happily ever after then... That makes all the difference. 

Lilia was actually easier than Rook’s but also fairly difficult. I had written the middle of Lilia’s piece while stumped on Rook’s actually. Lilia’s was probably easier because I love the idea of immortals and mortals.

I don’t really like the idea of mortals becoming immortals. Like, yes, it’s certainly sweet and spending eternity with a one true love is definitely the best possible ending but... I think there’s so much weight in an immortal choosing to love a mortal while knowing that they will ultimately lose them.

The biggest theme for Lilia is definitely time.

Thinking about it now... There’s been a lot of things in real life that’s just... Made me think about how we have less time than we actually think we have. And I think I ended up channeling that through Lilia... Though I feel like it is ultimately things Lilia would think about though. 

The most important imagery would probably be the stars.

I honestly wanted to avoid it because I used celestial imagery for both Kalim and Malleus but the words just flowed out in a way that I felt that I couldn’t replace. So I went with it. 

Lilia is no stranger to loneliness. One of the reasons he feels less alone is because he has family now and he doesn’t want to rob you of that. Family is so important to him because they are people who are meant to be with you--they are people who will make you less lonely--or so thats how I think? he thinks. 

My favourite lines from his story: “He would relish in the way—You made the world pause. You made a moment extend into an eternity. You made an immortal crave just a little more time.”

I’m so immensely proud of this one? I don’t really have much else to say. There’s something so raw about it that I love. Also the part where it continues on to say that  “Because there is never enough time.”

Me realizing my extra notes is just half me simping over these characters, half sharing headcanons, have actually giving good advice? perspective?, half song lyrics, half character study/analysis?

“lucky ending” is about change. Whether we want them to happen or not it’s... the human condition to change. For better or worse, we change--day by day. I think we all operate under a small panic about how everyday things are changing...

But “lucky ending” is also about the things that don’t change. Won’t change. Will never change. The things worth holding onto, the thing worth fighting for... or so I’d like to think.

[not-close-to-straight]

Random Wanda Vision Thoughts--

Episode 1: I am an emotional bitch crying at Wanda and Vision saying “i do” at the end of episode 1, like can these babies please catch a break? they just want to be happy. 

Also Agnes and the 70′s show mom are my favorite wtf. 

STARK TOASTERS I SEE YOU. 

WHO IS WATCHING THEM WTF 

Episode 2: 

Dottie should die, she seems like the type who needs gently run over by a bus

WHO IS IN THE RADIO

Elizabeth Olsen is so cute in this, absolutely adorable 

IS THAT DAVID SCHWIMMER PLAYING THE PIANO

Vision is drunk from getting gum in his gears, I’m actually cackling right now. 

Tiny bit culty with the “for the children” thing, huh? Yikes

BABY BUMP! 

Some creepo decides to get in on their world and Wanda literally went “i think the fuck not, let’s try this again and this time in technicolor” 

is that the cop who asked out Ant Man on the radio?

The difference in “sitcom” Wanda who is happy in her world and “real life” Wanda when she realizes something isn’t right is honestly astonishing and Grade A Face Acting. See what happens when they let women do more on screen then walk around in tight clothes with full lips parted in a sexy pout? 

Episode 3: 

Seventies Vision’s hair is ENDING ME, I can’t even deal with that. 

IT HAS TO BE DAVID SCHWIMMER except he looks like “russ” from friends instead of “ross” 

Poor Vision is not handling impending fatherhood well 

COMIC BOOK NAME DROP BILLY AND TOMMY I LOVE IT 

Poor pregnancy fritzing Wanda. DID WANDA JUST GLITCH A TIME ERASE AND NOT MEAN TO? Listen, I did not expect to love them as a couple this much. EW HER WATER BROKE OMG 

A STORK 

Oh Wanda, poor baby she’s so afraid, I write way too much fan fiction about how all these characters are secretly terrified to go through life alone to be okay with this. 

Why did I start crying immediately when the babies were born, I’m too emotional for this. She is so beautiful and Vision is so soft meeting his son as himself, oh my gosh. THE TWIN SCREAMS while the other twin comes omg this is Grade A Sitcom bullshit. 

The doctor knows something is Up and so do Herb and Agnes. *don’t be suspicious, don’t be suspicious*

...have we actually seen Ralph and I’m just blanking on it? WHY DON’T THEY LIKE GERALDINE? WHO IS SHE?

Oh no i’m crying again over pietro and the sokovian lullaby. Don’t let me watch this while I’m PMSing wtf this is torture. GERALDINE KNOWS ABOUT ULTRON

OH SHIT WANDA IS PISSED LOOK AT THAT DANGEROUS LADY. that head tilt is fucking lethal. 

I love agnes oh man. I know because of spoilers she’s something of a bad guy? but I love her

WHAT HAPPENED TO GERALDINE OMG DID WANDA KILL HER

Oh no, not dead. Just kicked tf out of the bubble. I just realized the symbol is for Sword. Is this some sort of experiment to keep Wanda contained post Endgame? I should have read more spoilers, I’m fucking confused. 

Episode 4: OH HOLY SHIT IT’S MONICA RAMBEAU AND IT’S POST EG SNAP OH MY GOSH SHE HAS NO IDEA SHES BEEN GONE FOR FIVE YEARS MY HEART IS BREAKING MY HEART IS BREAKING I CAN’T TAKE IT 

It IS the cop that hit on Ant Man! WHAT DO THEY MEAN WESTVIEW DOESN’T EXIST 

Oh it’s Darcy! Damn straight it’s Dr. Lewis. How very shocking, a woman was the one to show a room full of Ridiculous Men what’s going on?

ZOMBIE VISION OH MY GOD “no we can’t” oh man she is starting to CRACK and Vision knows something is wrong OH NO 

At this point I should point out that I am 1000% surprised at the quality of the show and 1000% pleasantly surprised by how much I’m enjoying it. The bar for Wanda’s character development was literally subterranean, but this is has been frankly sort of amazing?? 

Episode 5

Agnes asking about “taking it from the top” WHAT. I love so much the way the characters “break character” it’s so interesting and well done! WHY IS WANDA LYING TO VISION. 

WHERE IS RALPH

oh my god the babies are children now?? why isn’t agnes noticing?? THEY’RE SO CUTE I COULD CRY ALL OVER AGAIN 

I do not. trust. hayward. Why is he asking about Wandas nickname? Monica knows whats up-- she knows Wanda is grieving and hurting. 

THE VISIONS CORPSE WHAT? WHAT IS WANDA DOING OH MY GOD SHE STOLE VISION. Vision has a living will? Don’t you have to be human for that? Are you telling me the woman that loved Vision would straight up ignore his wish to not be turned into a weapon after his death? I have a hard time with this. 

Oh no Vision is starting to worry me. He’s onto Agnes, he’s noticing Wanda getting careless...the boys are adorable though. Good on Agnes for not even flinching. 

DAMN RIGHT WANDA COULD HAVE TAKEN OUT THANOS LETS HAVE SOME RESPECT PEOPLE. Also, why is Monica being sketchy about Captain Marvel? 

EMAIL ALERT EMAIL ALERT “none of it is real.” oh my god what is happening?!?!

“Is this yours?” OH MY GOD. “This will be your only warning” she is so unafraid and I love her for it. I love her accent coming back when she breaks characters LOOK AT HER TURNING ALL THOSE MEN AROUND I LOVE HER. 

“Fix the dead” oh my god the shock on her face. The absolute irony of her trying to tell her boys there’s rules when she’s writing the playbook as she goes. Oh my god. “Can’t I?” Jesus, then the credits start rolling because she wants the episode to be over but Vision won’t let her OH MY GOD. My heart is breaking

WHAT DOES IT MEAN SHE DOESN’T KNOW 

SHE RECAST PIETRO

Episode 6

OOOOH look at the classic costumes! Pietro is slaying me. I mean, it’s the wrong pietro but its still very funny. The way Vision calls her out and then plays it off is.... spooky. She is fully aware thats not her brother. “Be good.” holy shit. 

Look at me not liking Hayward again. “which one is the sassy best friend” i feel like that’s....racist. “don’t use the last five years as an excuse to be a coward” DRAG HIM SIS 

Listen Uncle Pietro being a little shit head is my favorite. I use the OG Pietro in my fics but this one is hilarious. 

Vision lied about being on duty? Yikes. The one house where people are stuck in a loop? YIKES. Its crazy how everyone is starting to be super aware of Wanda pulling the strings--MAGIC CHILD OMG. 

Whats past ellis avenue? Is that the limit of Wanda’s powers? I don’t super understand how Vision has his powers if he’s technically dead. HE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THE AVENGERS ARE she really just gave him enough life to exist just barely. Agnes knows he’s dead so she wasn’t snapped??

Agnes’s witchy laugh while dressed like a witch is legit awesome. We call that FOREEEEEEEEESHADOWING! Oh and there’s Ellis Ave. Got it. 

Monica’s blood is changed?? Idk how to feel about Black Character willing to die for White Charaxter? I mean I know Wanda should be Jewish but still. Uncomfortably close to icky tropes but maybe I’m reading too far into it.

YIKES where was she hiding the kids till now? How’d she do all this? “I’m not a stranger or your husband” YIKES.

OH MY GOD DEAD PIETRO

OH MY GOD VISION STAY IN THE BUBBLE SOMEONE SAVE HIM SAVE HIM OMG BILLY CAN HEAR HIS DADDY DYING SAVE HIM

“The people need help” oh Vision you are truly Worthy

She literally expanded her world to save him omg

DARCY WHERED YOU GO geez look at power of this girls mind it’s about damn time we got a glimpse at just how intense her powers are

Season 7

Ok is this like a reality show? Oh man she is GLITCHING.

Oh no it’s just Wanda not Wanda vision cos she feels alone? So sad. She really is losing it isn’t she and not in a “lol how awkward” sortnof way but in that truthful hard to watch way that so many of us feel when we’re at the breaking point

“I actually did bite a kid once” I literally ugly laughed right there

I KNEW I COULDNT TRUST HAYWOOD

It’s so nice to see Darcy used in a real way. Her character was totally wasted in Thor

The way Wandas little interviews get more and more sad :(

Uhhh what does that mean Agnes is quiet on the inside? Again with the Ralph thing. I’m starting to think there’s no Ralph at all??

LOOK AT THIS GIRL WITH HER SPACE ROVER . She’s got that same look of determination her mama had. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO HER WHY ARE HER EYES BLUE

“....soooo Wanda killed me?” I’m ugly laughing again and I shouldn’t be but the comedic delivery is excellent. The whole “office” vibe with the cameras is making an otherwise devastating episode fairly funny

LOOK AT THIS GIRL STANDING UP TO WANDA we love a sharp cheekbones beauty

“Maybe I already am” I mean, I would have loved to hear that post Ultron when for some reason everyone blamed Tony for everything?? But hearing it now is just horrifying and I hate it

Oh vision deciding to go get to his wife is beautiful.

WHERE ARE THE BABIES WHERE ARE THE BOYS OH MY GOD IM FREAKING OUT WHAT BASEMENT THATS NEVER GOOD

Uh hey what the fuck is up with Agness creepy basement of horrors??

AGATHA HARKNESS OH MY GOD

This song is a BOP wtf she deserves an Emmy for this shit

Snoopers gonna snoop what?

Episode 8

Of course it’s Salem, where else would a witch story start

“They simply bent to my power” What a queen

lmaoooo THAT ACCENT COMES AND GOES Agatha really said what we’ve all been thinking

Wait so Wandas power drew Agatha in? I thought maybe Agatha trapped her here?? SHE DOESNT KNOW WHAT WANDA IS

THE BABIES

Oh ouch this trip down memory lane is gonna hurt me isn’t it?

Oh no her mama I’m dying inside send help. The TV sitcoms. Oh my god is this her last memory before her parents died. HELP ME I CANT WATCH THIS

Oh my god, she had powers when she was little?? SHES NOT AN EXPERIMENT???

Listen I generally think telling a story retroactively is lazy writing? Just give us a well developed story the first time?? But this is BRUTAL and brutally well done.

SHE SAW HERSELF IN THE MIND STONE???

Would it have been so difficult for them to give us even a PEEK at this version of wanda vision in CACW? Marvel has the worst habit of just popping up like “oh hey these two love each other all the sudden with no real reason for it” but this is wonderful. So much character development.

Oh listen to this woman begging to be able to bury her husband omg. WAIT SO SHE DIDNT BREAK IN AND TAKE HIM?? WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO VISION?? DID HE PUSH HER INTO THIS PSYCHOTIC BREAK?? HE TOTALLY PLAYED HER INTO RECREATING VISION SHE JUST WANTED CLOSURE. He literally showed her visions dismembered corpse and said “say goodbye” I will kill this dude wtf

“I can’t feel you” guys I have to pause this so I can cry for a minute

“I can’t feel you” and then she leaves. Totally alone in the world. My heart is an empty husk.

Why the house though? Why west view?

OH FUCK ME UP ARE YOU KIDDING ME VISION WAS GOING TO BUILD THEM A HOUSE I CANT TAKE THIS ANYMORE

It’s not even real vision? Just the projection of her broken heart? “Welcome home” I am broken. Physically broken.

CHAOS MAGIC

SCARLET WITCH

I CANNOT

OH MY GOD WHITE VISION??? NO NO NO

[9bitghost]

REMEMBER THIS AU???

Took me 2 years, but I’ve finally got everyone’s designs roughed out for my RPG AU!! Some designs gave me a lot of trouble, so I’ll probably change a few in the future, but for now, they’re all based around their outfits in the show. Getting back into this has also got me more into learning about D&D, so classes and subclasses are based on stuff from there and homebrews I’ve found and liked, with some liberties taken for the fun of it. ☆  

I want to write proper backstories for all of them sometime, but until then, classes, alignments, and headcanons are under the cut!! ↓ ↓ ↓ (VERY LONG)

This AU can be set either as its own, or if everyone sat down and played D&D with characters based on themselves. I would love to write fic splicing the two together if I ever get around to it lol

Character Info

David: Ranger/Bard - Champion of Nature (Lawful Good)

S4E7 pretty much laid out his character and class perfectly; David is a Bard at heart, and sought to make people happy with his tricks and performances when he was younger, until he found his true calling in his connection to Mother Nature. His home is wherever he can set up camp and has his heart set on protecting the forests’ natural beauty and integrity from quickly growing cities. Breaks into song at random and dislikes conflict. Prefers to shut fights down though talk and song, but does excel at archery and long-range combat if the need arises.

(tbh, binary-bird’s david design is so much cooler and i was heavily inspired by it, so please just imagine him in that one instead lol)

Gwen: Bard/Cleric - College of Lore (Chaotic Neutral)

In all honesty, Gwen is the most difficult one for me to place in this AU. She strikes me as the one to DM for the kids so Nerris can play, and enjoys creating stories for them, hence why Bard comes as the most natural to class her. An unconventional one, as she’s sharp-tongued, usually straight-faced, and witty in a sarcastic sense. Probably owns a bookshop in her town and writes many of her own books (half of which are erotica and stored in a curtained off area you need a password for). She has a way with words and handles her spear with the same proficiency. Badass fighter if you get on her bad side.

Max: Rogue - Thief/Trap Master (Chaotic Neutral)

Grew up poor and practically on the streets with barely a glance from his parents, Max learned it’s every person for themselves from an early age. Known for being a little shit and a master at picking pockets, MacGyvering traps, and winning bets through words alone. Shitton of knives, prefers throwing them from the shadows. Says he doesn’t care for anyone but himself, but would actually kill a man or 20 for his friends. Met Neil when trying to swindle him out of some expensive potions and wound up traveling with him. Purely for profit at first after hearing about the tech Neil’s in search of, but they ended up clicking and became fast friends (in denial).

Neil: Artificer - Alchemist (Lawful Neutral)

Neil’s family is very well off and many of his relatives are well known scholars; his father being the leading philosopher in their district. Though proud of his family’s and his own scientific accomplishments, Neil became bored of his mundane village and life, and thus set off in search of new scientific discoveries that could land him a place in the history books. Hates combat and stays out of it whenever he can. Sticks to the side lines, crafting bombs, poisons, splash potions, and buffs for the party. Relatively level-headed and often leads the team’s strategies in battle, until things go wild and sends him into a panic.

Nikki: Barbarian/Druid - Path of the Beast Master (Chaotic Good)

Born into a broken family, Nikki fled to the woods at a young age and lost her way home. Found and taken in by a pack of wolves, she quickly answered to the call of Mother Nature and grew into a nomadic lifestyle with her pack. Nikki is a wild one, brandishing her giant axe with ease, communicating with animals, and able to shift into a wolf form. Met Max and Neil as they were passing thorough her forest and nearly bit a chunk out of Neil’s arm on their first encounter. Would do anything for her friends and thinks of them as her own pack as she journeys with them.

Nerris: Sorceress - Storm Bloodline (Neutral Good)

Born to a human mother and elven father, Nerris is skilled in magic pertaining to the elements, specifically lightning and electricity, and not to shabby with their shortsword when the need arises. Left their village on a traditional journey to hone their skills and become a great sorceress to make their family proud. Always up for adventure, but rash and dives head first into more dangerous situations. Met and traveled with Harrison, who they bicker with constantly over who is the better magic user, before they both joined the Main Trio feat. David. Don’t mess with their party, man, Nerris will beat your ass into the neighbouring realm.

Harrison: Wizard - School of Illusions/Wild Mage (Chaotic Good)

Harrison was born with chaotic magic that had his parents on edge since the beginning. He quickly became a specialist in illusions, but due to his wild magic, he’d caused a lot of unintentional trouble in his town, escalating to making his brother disappear with no idea how to get him back. Fled his family and town young in pursuit of honing his magic and searching for a way to bring his brother back. Terrible at hand-to-hand, weapons, or close-range combat, but packs a punch when his magic goes haywire, often being linked to his emotions. Will sometimes levitate without realizing and freak people out. His hat is his nearly unlimited inventory and is probably a dangerous rip in space-time that should be dealt with.

Preston: Bard - College of Glamour (Lawful Neutral)

Preston travels around in search of fame and artistic inspiration and loves any audience he can find. Rarely staying in one place for long, he recites his poetry and one-man acts for captivated audiences in the town’s square or taverns, sometimes accompanied by lute or flute music. His outfits are flashy and as much of a trainwreck as he is so he’s easy to spot. In battle, his acts are usually used to stun or paralyze opponents, often done as a tag team with a more offensive member of the party. If forced to fight, he’s not too bad at fencing his way out of it.

Dolph: Bard - College of Paint (Neutral Good)

Born into a prestigious and proud military family that he left to pursue a career in art. Has painted quite a few nobles’ portraits and has thus become well known as a traveling painter. Became quick friends with Preston when they met in a town square Dolph was passing through. Hates conflict and tends to stay back in battle, but if he has to fight, he’s able to summon whatever he paints in ink to fight for him (think Sai from Naruto lol).

Ered: Rogue - Scout (Chaotic Neutral)

Daughter and assassin-in-training of her two fathers who work closely with their country’s monarchy. Though she loves them more than anything, Ered has more of a go-my-own-way attitude, opting to work more freely and alone for smaller contracts than under her parents’ wings. Amazing sharp-shooter with her crossbow and can hold her own in hand to hand combat. She’s a name quite a few know in underground circles, and Max has heard of her before as well.

Nurf: Barbarian - Path of the Brawler (Chaotic Neutral)

Half-orc and full temper, Nurf is a brawler through and through. On the run for various crimes and resents the justice system for putting his mother behind bars. Fights mainly with fists and daggers and is one of the strongest in the party. Actually quite perceptive and insightful, but whether he chooses to act upon that insight is entirely dependent on how he feels at that moment. Nurf joined the party a little later than the rest, after meeting them during an ongoing brawl and teaming up as a spur-of-the-moment decision. He stuck around for one reason or another.

Space Kid: Cleric - Cosmic Domain (True Neutral)

Space Kid comes from a line of astronomers and astrologists, and he too answers to the Stars and Celestial Bodies. Many of his decisions are based on what star charts tell him and he’s just happy to be along for the ride. Met the Main Trio early on during a quest relating to astrology and, realizing they lacked a designated healer for the team, found Space Kid to be decent enough. Probably has untapped powers that are pretty incredible if he knew how to access them. Sticks around due to the Stars hinting that their fates are tied and good things will come about in the party’s future.

Other Notes

I’ve gotten an ask or two in the past asking about Daniel and he is 1458903% a Lawful Evil Warlock/Bard who answers to his patron Xemüg. Quartermaster is also a Warlock, probably Chaotic Neutral, and I like the idea of his patron being The Octopus (thank you S4E5 for the harrison and QM inspiration).

[somedayonbroadway]

wAIT I REALLY WANNA HEAR YOUR OFFICE AU IM VERY CURIOUS LOL

For more Mood Boards and AUs, click here!

Yes!!!!! Fun story, I did this one once, but I didn’t like it at all, so I’m redoing it now and I’m stoked!

The Office AU

Characters

Jack Kelly — Jim Halpert

Katherine Plumber — Pam Beesley

Spot Conlon — Dwight Schrute

Racetrack Higgins — Angela Martin

Albert DaSilva — Andy Bernard

Morris Delancey — Ryan Howard

Henry — Kelly Kapoor

Hannah — Meredith Palmer

Medda Larkin — Phyllis Vance

William Hearst — Stanley Hudson

Oscar Delancey — Oscar Martinez

Darcy — Toby Flenderson

Obadiah Weisel — Creed Bratton

Specs — Darrel Philbin

Crutchie Morris — Erin Hannon

Todd Kloppman— Michael Scott

Okay so…

Jack Kelly

A salesman at a local paper company, a job he originally sees himself as getting out of fairly quickly despite sticking around for ten years.

He’s a talented, but insecure artist, longing to go to school for art and eventually make a living off of his work

Growing up, Jack has two older brothers who are difficult to get along with as they both were jocks and loved to pick on him

Also growing up, Jack had an abusive father and a mother who walked out on him at a very young age.

Upon beginning to work at Dunder Mifflin, Jack finds himself falling for the quiet receptionist

Finding out that said receptionist is and has been engaged, he starts on the hardest waiting period of his life

Jack is the prankster of the office, choosing mostly to blow off his actual work and mess with his desk mate Sean whom he calls “Spot” just to mess with him more

This catches on until the whole office calls Sean “Spot”

Jack often gets bored as he claims that he hates his job and is looking for ways around actually doing it, especially in the beginning

He’s a huge baseball fan, though he admits he wasn’t a huge fan of playing sports even though he was on several teams in high school, as he wanted to be able to match his brothers’ accomplishments.

His sarcasm is a sort of escape from the world around him.

Does not like costumes very much

Everybody loves Jack except for Spot, who is convinced that Jack is his worst nemesis.

It takes Jack a long time to admit his feelings for Katherine, the receptionist he’s fallen in love with, and when he does, he is overall rejected, prompting him to request a job transfer

Eventually moving on, Jack ends up dating one Davey Jacobs from another branch of the company before that branch is closed and he’s moved back

He’d always been scared about being openly bisexual, but he liked Davey

Eventually, he realizes that despite liking Davey, he’s still very much in love with Katherine and breaks up with the other man, asking Katherine out on a date.

Davey eventually becomes his best friend

After asking Katherine out finally, the two end up staying together and getting married

Jack proposes at a gas station in the rain when he eventually goes away to art school for three months

Together, Jack and Katherine have two kids.

They find out they’re pregnant on accident before they are married

He often lives spontaneously, never running anything by anyone and hoping for the best

Eventually becomes one of the most trusted people within the company

Is forever devoted to Katherine

His father dies before his wedding and Jack can’t bring himself to cry and, when faced with going back into his childhood home, finds he can’t do it

Becomes protective of his friends, including his coworkers (especially Crutchie once he begins working there)

Is attacked at one point by Katherine’s ex-fiancé

Is very soft and romantic

Is often teased for being bi, especially by the “traditionalists” in his office who claim he practically has slept with everyone in the office

Brushing things off fairly easily, again using sarcasm and jokes to mask his feelings

Is slightly protective of Henry who is very young and naive and continuously goes back to a relationship that is toxic for him

Finds humor in any situation he can.

Genuinely likes to make people happy and will do a lot to make that happen

Katherine Plumber

Is shy and quiet when she starts working at Dunder Mifflin

Is often referred to as boring and solemn

Is in an endless, slightly abusive relationship that she’s convinced is meant to be for eight years, ever since high school.

Grows up as an only child with well off “normal” parents who end up divorcing each other when she and Jack are engaged

Is the “hottie” of the office and is one of the few women who work there, the youngest actually

Jack often has to subtly get people to stop harassing her

She enjoys writing and even has her own blog and publishes her own journals online. Jack reads every single one of them

Is very close with her mother and has a strained relationship with her father who does not like Jack and likes her previous fiancé better

Katherine is very meek and shy towards the beginning of her career, but often gravitated towards Jack because he brought out the humorous, adventurous side of her

Had been dating the same man since her freshman year of high school, despite him bringing his brother on their first date and abandoning her at a basketball game having forgotten about her.

Despite being engaged for three years, she often jokes that there’s no end in sight

Tries to convince herself that Jack is like her brother in the beginning to deny her own feelings for him

Jack teaches her how to fight, telling her that she’s a woman who often walks alone in New York City and she needs to have some training on her side

She comes from a rich family who she denies funds from in an attempt to be independent.

After Jack admits his feelings for her, she lets him kiss her, resulting in her calling off her wedding without explanation

Losing touch with Jack for a long few months, Katherine finds herself wanting to be more assertive, saying what she wants and making sure she gets it

Realizing she’s in love with Jack after seeing and accidentally picking up a call from him over the months he was gone, she embarks on a waiting period similar to Jack’s as Jack is in a relationship with Davey and she fears it will never end

Davey and her actually end up becoming pretty good friends, and after Jack and Davey break up, he becomes a sort of confidant and best friend to the both of them. After a while, obviously. David’s not too happy with Kath after Jack breaks up with him

During Jack’s relationship with David, Katherine ends up going back to her ex, lasting for a while before she wants to be honest with him.

She tells him about Jack’s kiss resulting in him having a hissy fit and starting a bar fight and later attacking Jack at their workplace.

Jack and Katherine start to grow closer again after this

Once they start dating, Katherine starts to break through her shell

When Jack goes away to art school she’s disappointed he didn’t propose to her but ends up accepting his proposal when meeting him halfway

She finds out she’s pregnant after twisting her ankle playing volleyball, which she’s rather good at, at a company picnic before the wedding

Jack and her run away from their own wedding when things go wrong and get married on a boat before having the wedding they planned

While going into labor, Katherine admits she’s terrified and sees herself as unfit to be a mother before Jack promises her that they’re in this together

She has two children with Jack

Her and Race have a strained relationship despite the fact that they both constantly try to be friends

While she often helps Jack on his pranks with Spot, she is kind to Spot and is one of the only people who knows about his secret relationship from the start

When Jack starts a business that takes off in Santa Fe, she and him begin to fight but eventually get over their single rough patch and end up drawing closer together

She stands up for herself and her family above all else

Spot Conlon

Is a born and raised traditionalist according to everyone else

Lives on a beat farm

Believes that there are strict rules for men and women that should be followed as he’s basically been brainwashed since he was born

Is in an on again off again relationship with a man, which he is at first ashamed of, as men were not supposed to sleep with other men

Is a purple belt in karate

Is the highest ranking salesman at Dunder Mifflin

Believes his biggest nemesis to be Jack who is constantly trying to prank him in various ways, ranging from simple and childish to well thought out and expertly orchestrated

Main goal in life is to become the manager at Dunder Mifflin despite being loyal to the current manager who’s not quite as big an idiot as Michael Scott is

Is named Assistant Regional Manager but if often referred to as Assistant to the Regional Manager

Volunteer Sheriff’s deputy for a while

Wants to be the leader of his workplace but would also do what needs to be done in order to protect his coworkers at any cost (ex: saving Jack from getting beaten to a pulp by Kath’s ex)

Is an expert paintball player

Falls in love with the head of accounting (his on again off again relationship) and is actually able to make his partner happy

Had a somewhat abusive and distant father and basically raised himself and his younger cousin Vince

Spot enjoys having control over things, making life a bit harder for the people around him as he enjoys acting as somewhat of a vigilante.

Is in a relationship with the head of accounting, Race, until he murders Race’s cat and is dumped, sending him spiraling into depression

Upon this break, Race starts dating and gets engaged to Albert DaSilva, a salesman who came back with Jack

Towards the end of that engagement, Spot wins Race back in the event of having an affair before both Spot and Albert have enough and walk away

Eventually Spot ends up in a relationship with a friend of Katherine’s named Riddle (@bexlynne’s amazing OC)

Moves from this relationship back to Race after a while and then back again until eventually realizing that Race is the only one for him and running Race off the road to propose to him.

Regards Katherine as his best friend despite her marrying his worst enemy

He loves Katherine’s kids who grow up calling him “uncle Spot” against Jack’s wishes

Learns sign language for his boyfriend

Knows German as he mostly spoke German growing up

Is fairly closed off

Will do anything to protect the people he cares about

Racetrack Higgins

The head of accounting at Dunder Mifflin

Raised in a very religious home for most of his life before being moved around in different foster homes, most of which were bad

Is mostly deaf with one hearing aid that allows him to work normally even though he often shuts the thing off to actually concentrate

Learns sign language from a teacher at his school who wants him to be able to actually communicate in a proper way that he can easily understand.

Is often cold towards people who talk down to him or talk slower so he can try to read their lips

Owns several cats

Head of the party planning committee

Craves validation

Is perceived as homophobic before his romance with Spot Conlon is found out by Katherine

Has a strained relationship with Katherine who he constantly tries to be friends with when he’s in a good mood.

Bottles up his emotions as best he can out of force of habit

Hates people who put their relationships on display as he views it as indecent

Is unapologetic

Is in an on again off again relationship with Spot Conlon who often calls him “Monkey”

After this relationship officially ends for the first time, he is asked out by Albert DaSilva

Accepting this, he finds he’s easily annoyed by Albert but likes how sweet the man can be when he tries

Eventually Race begrudgingly accepts a proposal from him, one that spoils Jack and Kath’s original plan for a proposal

Has an affair with Spot towards the end of the engagement, leaving Spot and Al to fight over him in an old fashioned duel

Jack finds Race crying in the bathroom and looks up the signs to promise he won’t tell anyone

Race connects with the receptionist that takes over for Katherine, as Crutchie also grew up in the foster system, but has a much more positive outlook on life

Race tries to protect him, much like the rest of the office

Later, after Spot’s next relationship, they end up sleeping together again only for Spot to move on eventually

Race is later hit on by a politician who eventually asks for his hand in marriage.

Race agrees, only to later find out that the man was in love with someone else and eventually get dumped and kicked out.

Oscar, whom Race has never truly gotten along with, offers to put Race up while he gets back on his feet, resulting in Race admitting to him that he’s still in love with Spot

When Spot runs him off the road to propose to him, he gets down on one knee and signs to him, making Race cry

Race and Spot adopt a son together and live on Spot’s farm

At the wedding, Jack is Spot’s best man, Katherine is Race’s

Oscar is named their son’s godfather

Race has a really hard life that he refuses to open up about, but he turns out alright in the end

If you’d like to hear about more characters or see any scenes, just let me know!

[rainstormfes]

Anime Expo Lite Day 1 Experience!

Program: Warner Bros. Japan Presents "Stay connected with Anime"

This whole program made me so frickin happy, SEIYUU AND JAPANESE GUESTS EVERYWHEREEEE WHILE TALKING ABT ANIME YESS (note: i typed most of this while the event was going on so pls bear with all my keyboard smashes and small comments lolol i just rly wanted to make a review for this event since i knew tons of seiyuu and anime that i love would be there and talked about. Also also i am not allowed to share any screenshots or recordings of it so just fyi 👍🏻)

It started out with talking about DanMachi 3 with guests Matsuoka Yoshitsugu (voiced Bell Cranel) , Minase Inori (voiced Hestia) , Osawa Nobuhiro (from EGG FIRM), and Matsukura Yuji (producer from J.C. Staff)

They answered many questions like how the author was inspired by the voice acting from the two guests specifically, talking about specific scenes

MINASE-SAN PERFORMED A SMALL LINE WHICH WAS SO FRICKIN CUTE

one of the producers was asked about production for DanMachi and he was like ‘brUH the volumes got thicker and thicker as they kept getting released like DANG’

They prepared a teaser image for the third season and for the big reveal Matsuoka had to tear a curtain off of a huge posterboard but the curtain got caught and made it almost fall xDD (very cute and awkward moment, Matsuoka never change pls omg youre too precious)

Matsuoka was asked if there was any difficulties when recording s3 and he just talked about how Bell went through lots of growth and that he had to think about how to properly act out just how mature Bell got, considering he’s now a leader of his group

Minase-san answered the same question. She talked about how she made sure to try and keep in mind how close all of the characters are and Hestia’s mental and social growth

Iguchi Yuka (voiced Chigusa) sent in a vid message since she sings the opening!! And it was announced that sajou no hana would be performing the ending song! Both vid messages were very nice and cute and both artists just talked about how they were looking forward to everyone’s reactions to their songs and to look forward to the anime

Airing of DanMachi 3 will begin in October woop woop!🎉🎉

OML WHEN MATSUOKA-SAN DID HIS ENDING REMARKS he pointed to the posterboard and was like ‘thIS NEW CHARACTER IS CUTE’ and said ‘whO TF IS THIS’ (pointing to new characters on the posterboard lol)

The next anime that they talked about was Shokugeki no Soma: The Fifth Plate with guests: Matsuoka Yoshitsugu (voiced Yukihira Soma) (MY GOSH HES SO AWK AND CUTE OMLLLLL he was like ‘can i speak now’ cause there was that kind of awkwardness in the first segment too 😅) and Yonetani Yoshitomo (animation director)

Yonetani-san was asked how he felt abt the anime. He talked about how he wanted to express how amazing the cooking/food was as well as wanted to excite (oh b o y 😳) the audience

Matsuoka-san was asked the same thing. He talked about how he’s been following Soma since day one and thinks a lot abt his growth in Totsuki. He talked about how he kinda thinks about his own high school days (comment from director lol that he might just cry during his final recording session which i feel, its been 5 years since the first season was aired)

THEY RECORDED AN IRL SHOKUGEKI?!??!?! OMGGGG. FUKUYAMA JUN (voiced Saiba Asahi) AND TAKAHASHI MINAMI (voiced Tadokoro Megumi) WERE THERE (yall can i just- JUN LOOKS SO MF GOOD OML). 

bruh matsuoka’s mixture for a sauce for tonkatsu was frickin WACK he put strawberry jam, cream, waSABI???, KETCHUP?!?!?!, along with SOY SAUCE, there was more but that combo i put alone looks so frickin wack. 

Jun’s sauce oMG HE STARTED W NUTELLA AND PEANUT BUTTER WTF OMG THIS MISCHIEVOUS MAN I CANTTT 😂😂. He put in LOTS of mayo uhm... he crushed sesame seeds and dried fish together OMLLL HE WAS LIKE SHE NEEDS HER CALCIUM W THE FISH HES SO CHAOTIC and since he ran out of time he couldnt crush the fish properly so there were just HUGE CHUNKS OF FISH IN THE BOWL. omg when he was mixing it..... ew. the takamina was like E W. the way he was selling it was pure g o l d OMG HE PUT IN MF SQUID JUST NOW I CANTTTT HE IS IRL SOMA XDDD poor takamina she was fake crying, girl saME (she’s the judge)

Takamina surprisingly enjoyed matsuoka’s sauce (she was like the ingredients somehow WORKED xD) “it feels like i had a nice meal” (GIRL HOW??? XD)

as for Jun’s sauce review: FDSAFD TAKAMINA SAID THAT THE SQUID WAS STARING AT HER I CANTTT. she described it as a theme park which is perfect. tons of flavors were trying to be the main thing. The squid leg works with tonkatsu so it was ok in the end

matsuoka’s sauce won bc the squid in jun’s was kinda unnecessary but in the end she liked both (kinda surprising lol)

ADSJFKSFJ YONETANI-SAN DID THE ‘bursting’ thing ONCE THE SHOKUGEKI VID WAS DONE, SHOWING A SHIRT W MEGUMI AND TENTACLES OMG

Matsuoka’s comments on the shokugeki: he enjoyed doing it w jun since he was very good at talking (especially when he was making the sauce). Both their sauces were “okay” lol

Yonetani-san’s comments: he talked about how he struggled to cook when he was a child but even through the small irl shokugeki they did he learned smth lolol

Matsuoka was asked which lines were more memorable for him (other than soma’s lol): he talked about how the explanations for the dishes (the monologues when theyre being made and when theyre being presented) were difficult and whenever he recorded those kinds of lines, it was kind of difficult to record since it would be hard to express a good portrayal of soma’s energy if he didn’t even know what he was talking about (so on the side he had to keep using wiki to understand what soma was even talking abt lol)

Question abt the production of the anime: Yonetani-san talked abt how there were lots of complicated words; there were lots of cuts in certain scenes made to try and portray the energy that they wanted in the anime

“If you could try any of your character’s dishes which one would you choose?” Matsuoka: he wanted to try the chicken wing dumplings and a recipe book was released before so he tried it... and it turned out BAD XDD

Someone asked abt where the producers get ideas about the ending theme sequences: Yonetani-san’s used the songs as inspiration for the backgrounds used for the ending themes, also trying to relate to the cooking and the theme of high schoolers just going through life etc

OH SCHIZ THERE WAS A SPECIAL MANGA RELEASED. A small part of it was voiced by matsuoka, jun, and takamina it was vvv cute (the full would be released on Shounen Jump at a later date)

Ending remarks: FASDFDSA THIS ACTUALLY WILL BE THE LAST SEASON OF SHOKUGEKI OMG 😭😭. OMG MATSUOKA IS SO FRICKIN CUTE AND AWKWARDDDDD he was doing a small clap at the end hes so adorable someone protect him pls :(((

The next and last anime talked about was JoJo's Bizarre Adventure: Golden Wind, where there was a behind the scenes vid made:

Ono Kensho (voiced Giorno Giorvanna) was there ofc along w two producers from David Pro (Kasama) and Warner Bros Japan (Omori Hiroyuki)

OMG FIRST THEY TALKED ABT THE STAND CRIES YESSS. DSFDSAF THEY ACTUALLY COUNTED HOW MANY MUDA’S ONOKEN HAD TO SAY that is so amazing i love the dedication. onoken mentioned how he talked to koyasu (voiced Dio Brando) abt counting the muda’s but he was like ‘ehhhh i never did that lol’. overall, everyone from all seasons tried to match the scenes but koyasu was basically the odd one out not rly needing??? to follow it lol

FDSAFDSA BRUH THERES 17 RERO RERO’S hirakawa-san practiced in the BATH the dedication is INSANE i love this

lolol onoken scrunches up his face when he says his mudas lol vvv cute (so thats a good tip for anyone wanting to say it properly)

one of the reasons they chose onoken in the first place to voice giorno was the fact that his muda’s were strong, thats frickin awesome (and he asked for a redo so that just shows great dedication, smth that staffs would want in their seiyuu)

next they talked abt the anime-only scene of giorno giving gelato to a kid. they wanted to show how kind giorno was despite eventually becoming a gang-star. its personal to kasama-san since he had actually went to italy and had experienced intense heat there and went to a gelato stand so he wanted to preserve that memory in film

they moved on to talk abt how the hitman team was first introduced in ep 10. they decided to enhance the anime by showing the many teams of passione in their own meeting places, trying to emphasize how close everyone was in their respective teams

THEY MENTIONED HOW THEY PURPOSELY PUT CHARACTERS THAT ARE LATER INTRODUCED IN THE ANIME WITHIN FRAMES JUST TO TEASE omg i love

next they talked about how the second theme for golden wind was kinda hard to make (the animation and song IS amazing which i personally appreciate). considering that they needed to kind of match up with “Fighting Gold” (the first op), it was hard to produce something for it. And they had already decided to make an alternate version of it as well, animation wise. For a while they were stuck but eventually they managed to create smth which ofc ended up as the second op for Golden Wind (and also mentioned how that also happened for Stardust Crusaders, with changing the op’s animation to showcase everyone’s stands and also the small interaction between joutarou and dio)

AHHHHHH THEY MENTIONED THE FAMOUS DIO POSE THAT GIORNO DID AHH YESSSS THANK YOU DAVID PRO FOR DOING THAT, they said that they felt that they needed to live up to fans’ expectations so considering how dedicated of a fanbase we are, they decided to put that little nod toward dio’s pose with giorno doing it too

Ending remarks: lolol kasama-san was like ‘watch jojo in these difficult times to brighten up your day’ and honestly i just might :D

Omori-san was also a guest for the live broadcast too! Plus, Kanno Yugo who’s in charge of the music for Golden Wind!!! (a frickin king providing giorno’s iconic asf theme)

OMG THE THEME LETS GO HE TALKED ABT IT: considering his experience with parts 3 and 4 for the themes, he felt he needed to try and one up himself lol; he’s grateful that his music is loved by the fandom and hopes to meets everyone’s expectations (my king you’ve done amazing work)

He talked about how making music for jojo feels like competing in the olympics (cant blame him lol its a pretty difficult job to one up yourself every time theres a new season. since he started working with jojo at stardust crusaders and considering how iconic joutarou’s and josuke’s themes are, needing to make smth as amazing as those themes mustve been tough but he def delivered in the end)

OMG KANNO-SAN PERFORMED LIVE AHHHHHH and ofc its Il vento d’oro :)) THAT WAS SO FRICKIN AMAZING OMG ugh that made me so happy

Ending remarks: both guests were very wholesome, saying to stay safe during this situation. Omori-san stayed behind to say a small message on behalf of warner bros japan, saying to continue to support them and thank you for supporting the anime :))

Overall an amazing experience 😊

I loved everything that happened. It was nice to finally see some of my fave seiyuu at an event despite what’s going on in the world right now, it definitely brightened up my day :D

[feingeister]

Hmm..I kinda wanna know what you would like from S5 if it happens? In terms of who the main should be, what kind of storylines you would like to see from all the characters, what should improve etc.

when it happens, anon. we’re full-on delusional on this blog. 

ok let’s start with general stuff:

-       i want them to take their time. in season 4, things tended to feel a little rushed and while scheduling conflicts are fine and just happen sometimes, they had several scenes where so many characters were missing without an explanation at all.

-       i can forgive a lot of tiny mistakes, like david’s scarf changing positions or a haircut change but i really don’t want to see another mess like the season 4 finale. it looked like they had about 500 abdi’s on set fhkjfhfk i think with more time and care stuff like that wouldn’t happen, so I’m more than happy to wait for a season 5

-       listening to feedback is one of druck’s greatest strengths and im very glad that they take our suggestions into account, but when they have sooo many people telling them how to do things, it’s probably really easy to lose their own vision and i don’t want that to happen

 okay now the main of season 5…. it has to be sam. i always believed that we knew so little about sam, because we would dive into her story in her season and FINALLY get to know about all her motivations and fears. solve the mystery and all that. all of her sideplots always gave me a “SOMETHING is going on, but we don’t know what” vibe. now…i can see how that might’ve been a little too much good faith, but it still means that her season has a lot of potential. a problem that sam has is definitely that (as a cris character) she doesn’t take things seriously, she’s maybe a bit too easy-going and amicable and ends up avoiding conflicts because it’s too much drama for her.

i’m kind of tired of love stories being the main plot of the season, but i still wouldn’t mind something like cris’ season in skam es lol, especially because druck hasn’t used the mental health plotline yet. it would just be a bit difficult to not make it too similar to either cris’ or matteos season. i’m sorry i just haven’t let go of my “sam is a lesbian” headcanon ok.

i could also go for a platonic storyline where sam needs to stick up for a friend and in turn learns to stand up for herself as well (and no… i don’t mean a gal pal version of og s3, don’t even try it @druck).

and just to address the elephant in the room: i don’t particularly want a kiki season, because we already know so much about her and she has done a lot of growing in the past seasons. while it would be cool to see it from her perspective, sam is just my number one priority.

and the even bigger elephant in the room: david. i don’t want season five to be his because right now he’s happy and i want him to be happy for longer and really settle into his life with matteo and the combined squads. i do however, want season 6 for him (or any season… pls).

this is maybe an unpopular opinion, but i don’t want to see a drama-free season where david just happily goes about his life. i mean, i’d watch it and enjoy it but at the end of the day, i think it would be a bit of a disservice to his character to have every season-main change and grow through hardships and to leave him with a mostly uninteresting (to people who aren’t hopelessly obsessed with him like me and everyone else on here), unchallenging storyline. which is also why i want to wait for his season, because if he’s gonna go through some shit i want him to be happy first. i also think it makes sense, because i’m pretty sure david is someone who lets problems sort of… pile on until they’re almost too much to deal with. we already know he’s an escape artist when it comes to his problems (both literally and figuratively) and on top of that i believe he’s someone who likes to bury himself in his work (he’s competitive, ambitious and he studied for his goddamn math exam and passed it even though he was waiting for his soulmate to show some sort of reaction to his coming out… hello? who does that. i can’t even study under the best of conditions.).

i know we’ve been through the whole ‘running away as a coping mechanism’ thing and maybe some people would get bored with that but... well this is my ask and this is what i want to see lmao. in my eyes, david is stable and healthy enough not to literally make a run for it when things get bad, but i really want to get into the nitty gritty of it all, yknow. see how that sort of coping mechanism works in a less dramatic way in day to day life, because i don’t think he’s completely gotten rid of it. ignoring calls and text, excessive workouts, overworking in general, problems growing and growing until they knock at your door to take you out, those are all things that the skam format is made for. you don’t see them happening to people when you’re not in their head and if you are it’s all the more intense. so that’s what i think davids ~thing~ would be but he also needs an actual plot.

the absence of any kind of information about davids parents to me seems so obvious that i feel like it has to be purposeful. much like with sam, i think there is a deliberate gap of knowledge, because there is something significant to be found there. this is maybe also controversial, but i wouldn’t mind another story that revolves around queer-centric issues. 

what i’m kind of envisioning is david exploring his relationship with his family. i have some thoughts on this but in general i think it would be interesting to explore what it’s like to have two families, your legal family and your found family, especially if you have both of them in your life. i’ve seen a lot of (not enough) stories about finding people who give you what your family refused to give you and i’ve seen a lot of stories about making peace with your family even if they wronged you and i would kind of like to see both? i think it’s a reality for many, many people that they have a family in their life that they love and keep around, but they also have to live with the fact that their trust as been irrevocably broken. to parallel that with a happy found family that gives you all the support and love you need is certainly a thing i would like to see.

anyway, those are all super rough ideas that have been floating around in my head and there are a hundred more ways the next seasons could go and i can’t wait for them either way.

[marie-bluem]

   Random Entry: 07/01/20

    (Please don’t reblog, repost, etc)

        It’s been raining a lot lately, which has kind of put me in a nostalgic mood lately and given me this sudden urge to want to look back on some of my old blog posts, entries, and past years. Also the current state of our world right now and other things, especially the current state of the U.S. right now, has made me feel sad ( I am kind of feeling a tiny bit of that summer time sadness/blues ;-;)🌦📔      

  However, seeing the progress being made by everyone working together to bring more awareness to the inequalities and issues that still need to be addressed, not just in the U.S. but in the world in  general, and being able to help and take part  with my friends and just being able to keep in touch with my friends, has made me feel more hopeful and inspired as well. Overall, the past month of June had just kind of put in a reflective mood and want to reflect back on some things/ memories/ personal experiences etc and just write about and comment on some things like some of my past posts as an effort to try to write gain a bit more on here.

       Also I’m really sorry anons that I haven’t finished answering the rest of your anons. As  you saw from my last posts, these past months have been months where many have been working together to spread more awareness and info on issues like police brutality, mental health awareness, BLM movement, Juneteenth and more, that I just personally felt it was and still is more important to reblog posts on those topics in order to bring more awareness to those topics, and limit my amount of personal posts/ posts that don’t have to do with those topics. So I’m really sorry, but I have not forgotten about your anon asks! What I plan to try to do is answer just one of your asks once a week and like I said I will still post/ reblog some personal posts  but I will also try to reblog more posts containing info on more important topics. So I will still try to post/ reblog personal content and continue to answer some of your anons! ^^

Okay lol you can just ignore the rest of my text below lol (you don’t have to read what is below this ;-;) Like I said , the rest of the text will be a few of my comments/ thoughts as well as thoughts  I remember having when I reblogged some of my old entries, posts etc. ^^ . Also please don’t reblog this post (I’m sorry I just really don’t want to encounter a lot of weird tumblr bots again 😥 😭

January 2013:

      Aw My first posts and the beginning of this blog  ^^ I can’t believe it has already been more than 7 years since I created my Tumblr blog. I remember not knowing anything about Tumblr until my friend Emily told me “Marielisa, have you downloaded Tumblr, you should make your own Tumblr blog and follow mine please”. We didn’t even have proper phones back then (I had an old blackberry phone lol) since we were still in middle school. I remember only being able to log onto Tumblr when we had computer lab or got to use and take home our school’s iPads. Lol since I was way more shy back then, my friend ended up writing my first post saying hi and asking others to follow me and recommending me some blogs . My friend and I were really into 1D back then so I remember most of the blogs I followed back then were blogs about 1D, polyvore outfits, outfit mood boards, London, Paris/ traveling and quotes. Lol I remember Zayn being my favorite 1D member followed by Liam (before Liam shaved his hair lol; my friend and I were shook 😶 ) I remember Zayn being my favorite due to his introverted and shy yet playful personality. Wow a lot of time sure has passed since then. But, I guess some things never change though because traveling is still one of the things on my bucket list, I still hold this unexplainable yearning and wanderlust for visiting Europe (especially France and Italy),and also still am very fond of poetry, book quotes,  moodboards, and listening to 1D throwback songs from time to time with my friends✨ 💛.

February 2013:

Aw I think this is when The Perks of Being a Wallflower had come out. I remember being really excited to see how the movie had turned out since The Perks of Being a Wallflower was one of my favorite books at the time and held (and still does) a special meaning for me. Haha I remember ‘falling in love’ with Logan Lerman, wishing I could meet my own “Charlie” / Logan Lerman lol. Lol I remember wishing to be able to meet a some-what shy, dorky/ funny and thoughtful guy whom I could be awkward, silly and care-free with and share songs with haha. I also remember falling in love with the ost of the movie. To this day, Heroes by David Bowie aka the tunnel song is one of my favorite songs (as well as Come On Eileen and more favorite songs which just keep on accumulating ;-;) (I also remember wanting to have my own living room routine dance with someone.  Lol if anyone has read this far and gets this reference, I appreciate you 💝 )

Some extra notes (thoughts):📔✨

From looking at some of those posts I also realized that some things haven’t change like my love for strawberries lol, my love for city views, and my love for cozy, fluffy sweaters and cardigans (sweater weather).    🍓🌃  🧥

 I also still enjoy listening to some songs from The Beatles and really old songs in general.🎶

I no longer want to find a “Charlie”; I just want a thoughtful, kind, and funny guy who can be both quirky/ silly and serious depending on the situation, as well as hardworking, honest about his thoughts (is able to open up to me about his thoughts, feelings, worries so that I can do the same and so that we can both find comfort in one another and not second-guess one another) and a good listener/ someone whom I can have random, deep or silly late night conversations with lol, go on spontaneous outings with, and whom I can just be my some-what shy, awkward, random lol , sensitive, normal self around . (Also someone who preferably loves/ enjoys  Spring and Autumn (especially Autumn) just as much as I do and who loves animals/ pets ;-;)

Spring 2013: 

      The time during which I got to watch the movie “The Art of Getting By” and time during which I really did feel a bit lost in my thoughts. (The Art of Getting By also has one of my favorite indie osts ) I remember having a lot of thoughts (‘worries’’) on what might happen after I finished middle school in May and started High school in June (It makes my heart feel warm remembering the small things my younger self used to worry about) I remember wondering about what High school was going to be like, feeling kind of anxious and scared about getting lost on the first day of classes in a bigger school compared to my small middle school. Lol I remember thinking: Would I be able to make any new friends or at least have some of my middle school friends attend the same high school as me? Would I have trouble opening my locker again? Lol my middle school self didn’t have any clue as to what was going to happen and the many things my high school self would experience and overcome. (Lol the things my middle school self used to worry about 😆 🤧  

     Thinking back,  I think that if my middle school self were to have known or been able to take a glimpse at what my high school was going to be like and known how I would have to attend classes with much older college students I think that my middle school self wouldn’t have known have to feel nor believed it and might have even felt more overwhelmed about starting high school. I don’t think my middle school self would have been able to see just how much that experience and my decision to attend my high school over the other program that had also accepted me, would allow me to not only mature a bit more and grow as a person, but also learn to take control over my anxiety (little by little) and meet and befriend some of the most kindest and dear people to me who are now my closest and dear friends. 

       Because of that I can’t help but to wonder what would have happened to me if I hadn’t decided to attend the high school that I did, met the people that I did.  If I didn’t meet my friends of now back then would I, by some chance have still been able to meet them in a different place at a different time? That’s why I’m really glad I decided to attend my high school because even though it did lead me to experience some of the most difficult and mentally draining periods in my life , I would not change my decision if I was given a chance to go back and change it. I can’t imagine my life today without my friends whom I met back then and some other special people (particularly one person) because even though they might not know it or realize it they changed me in a good way and became a  very important and precious part of my life. I’m very thankful for having been able to cross paths with  them and for them having crossed paths with me 💖 .

August 2013: 

    I’m trying to think back as to what or who hurt me to reblog those posts lol 😶(wow I was so emo; My last year of middle school was filled with angst huh ;-; ) but I can’t remember. This made me realize though that there is some truth in what some people say in that: as time passes by we learn to slowly heal, let go, and forget of the things or people who might have hurt us. Before we know it, we don’t remember any of those not so happy times or those memories just don’t hurt anymore because as time goes by we begin to make  more happy and precious memories with people and friends that make us feel warm and loved. As for embarrassing moments/ memories (we all have them ^^  lol )  I found that as time goes by those memories don’t feel as embarrassing anymore but rather funny making me feel fond of those moments and smile at how funny and precious those moments actually were. So, if any of you reading this also have some not so nice memories just know that with time, and as you slowly learn to let go of them and spend more time making more happy memories rather than dwelling on those not so pleasant memories,  those not so pleasant memories will slowly heal and scatter away. As for those embarrassing memories, they will slowly blossom into something precious you might fondly look back on one day and laugh at 😆  (which is one of the best feelings).

September 2013: 

     My first full month attending  my high school (AHS) lol. I remember I had gone on a trip with my family early that summer so I wasn’t able to attend the summer bridge program that my high school organized for freshmen students. Since I didn’t go to the summer program, I couldn’t help but feel  nervous and a bit lost on the first day of classes because I didn’t know which homeroom class (cohort)  I was supposed to be in. I also didn’t know any of the teachers or anyone in my class because my childhood friend (Em) got placed in a different class. Apart from her there were only 2 other people from my middle school that were also accepted into my high school, but I wasn’t close with them/ didn’t know them that well.  I remember feeling very anxious and shy when I walked into my class, especially when I saw that most of my classmates had already become a bit more close with one another over the summer. I felt  so small and was way more shy back then. But I ended up worrying for nothing because my first day of high school ended up being very nice. 

      Even though I didn’t know anyone in my class, everyone was nice and ended up making me feel more comfortable. I will always feel thankful to my friend Amber because she was one of the first people in my class who talked to me and helped introduce me to some of the friends she had already made in the class . Because of her, I was able to make some other high school friends in my class who were all also nice and friendly and made me feel comfortable by starting conversations with me (if by any chance Karis and Kaylyn you are still using your tumblr blogs and read my post lol I just want to say thank you for understanding my shy personality and giving me time to open up, I will always appreciate that). I remember that after that first kind of nerve-wrecking month of school lol, I was also able to befriend my  current, close friends Darlyn, Yasmin, as well as meet my other current-close friends Erika, Frances, Trisha, and Nathaniel, who although I wasn’t really close to them back then (but was able to meet thanks to my childhood friend Emily) , have now all become precious friends of mine 💖 💛  I’m also thankful, because of those friends I was also able to meet you - a  little bit weird, dorky and kinda shy , blue shooting star like boy who I think will always have a special memory corner in my heart  just like my friends and everyone I love, despite you maybe never knowing that and that’s okay. I hope that maybe one day when we meet and actually see each other in person after many years with our group of friends, we can say hi to each other, talk, laugh, and smile normally and forget about past awkwardness.

Extra notes:📔✨

I remember wanting to be able to go to one of those old red phone booths in London, that people had turned into book trading posts/ spots where you could take some of your old books to the phone booth and exchange them for other book that other people had read. (I still kind of want to do this to be honest lol ;-;) 

Looking at my post of that blanket fort reminded me of how I always wanted to build my own blanket fort and decorate it with fairy lights and invite my friends and boyfriend to watch a movie while eating popcorn and baked pastries inside the fort lol (I still want to this too shh lol >.<)

Looking at that post of a drawing of an old and vintage record player also reminded me how I never want to get one of those old vintage record players or anything that’s an antique tbh due to so many horror/ scary movies that I have watched ;-;

That post of the mountain overlooking a crescent moon made me want to go on a road trip and camp with friends under the night sky while roasting s’mores after this pandemic subsides 🤧

October 2013: 

       I think this is when most of my friends read and or were reading the Fault in Our Stars lol since the movie was said to come out in 2014. I remember that particular quote really resonating with me and being one of my favorites from the book as well as the quotes: “You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you”, “Some infinities are bigger than other infinities” and the quote I came across for which the title was ironically based on:“The Fault Dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, for that we are underlings”.🌃       

        I remember the quote:” My Thoughts are stars I can’t fathom into constellations” really resonating with me at that time because I remember having so many thoughts and often feeling a range of emotions and sometimes feeling more deeply about some things compared to others and my friends and not knowing how to explain or express thoughts/ feelings to others in a way that made sense to them. It’s like I had so many ideas and thoughts but I often found myself holding them back because I just did not know how to get my words or thoughts across, especially during writing/ when it came to writing essays for class etc. I remember that being one of the main reasons as to why I didn’t really enjoy nor looked forward to English/ writing class despite loving to read books, and free-writing. I don’t know, I guess the teaching style of my 9th and even 10th grade English teacher and class in general, just made me feel so restricted when it came to writing about my personal thoughts/ ideas regarding a book or topic. Due to that, I kind of started to get writer’s block more often and did not enjoy writing for a while because I just personally felt that the class’ and teachers’ preferences when it came to writing about our own personal ideas and thoughts made writing feel less free, authentic, and fun and instead made writing feel more forced and restrictive.It also at some point made me feel discouraged to try to express my thoughts and opinions about a book/ topic through writing due to those teachers not allowing me or others more time and freedom to gather and express our thoughts so that they could understand them/ try to see them from a different point of view. But it’s okay, that did not stop my love to free-writing during my own time and my love to want to capture some moments, feelings and thoughts in writing. Overtime, I found that academic writing will always in some sense feel more restrictive and forced,  but that does not mean that all English professors are the same, and will make writing and reading feel restrictive because I really enjoyed my English college classes during 11th and 12th grade. My English professor during that time allowed us to be more free with our writing, opinions, and thoughts while still helping us improve our writing skills.

     During 2013 I also remember still feeling scared and anxious to share my personal opinions and thoughts on topics a lot more during conversations with my close friends or simply during class participation in fear that I might say something wrong, not know how to explain myself in front of a bigger group of people , and that others might laugh at me for that, due to not so nice past experiences. But thanks to my friends’ understanding nature, empathy, and encouragement,  I slowly started to gain more courage, feel more confident, and slowly but surely began to open up to them a lot more about my inner thoughts, random and quirky thoughts lol, worries, and rants haha and vice versa- they opened up to me more too which allowed all of us to find comfort  within one another and I’m very thankful  and will always be thankful for that💖  💝

 Another quote that I remember being very fond of was the quote: “You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you” because it’s true. We don’t really get to choose if we get hurt or don’t get hurt, but we do have some say and or power in deciding who we allow to hurt us or keep on hurting us. We have the ability to change and leave  a situation/ place/ etc that keeps hurting us and or making us unhappy.

   Another quote that I remember being very fond of was the quote: “ Some infinities are bigger than other infinities”. I remember finding this quote comforting in  the sense that although maybe my time spent with a family member, group of friends, crush, or significant other might one day come to an end and or turn out to be a smaller infinity due to certain life circumstances, my smaller infinity with them will still have been very precious and felt like a bigger infinity to me that will never cease to end in my memories. That quote was also comforting in a sense that it led me realize that although our time with someone whom we care about and love might be a smaller infinity during a certain point in our lives, we could come across that someone once again during a different point in our lives (future) and find that all that time our time with that someone was actually one of those bigger infinities made up of smaller infinities. 

        🌌 ⌛️💫

      The last quote related to the Fault in Our Stars that I remember being very fond of is: “The Fault Dear Brutus, is not in our stars, but in ourselves, for that we are underlings”. I remember liking this quote because I remember thinking about how often times, our first instinct as human beings, when something terrible happens to us or something does not go the way we had hoped, some people  tend to blame forces that are bigger than us and or that are out of our control. Or sometimes we tend to hold ourselves back from doing something that we love and  trying new things, in fear of failing, something going wrong, not being able to do things at the same pace as other, fearing change, or just simply comparing ourselves to others which in turn ends up making us feel like “underlings”, when it shouldn’t have to be like that. Overall, that quote led me to think about how often our worst enemy and or greatest critic is our own self. But, we can all be like the stars and feel bright, when we begin to allow ourselves to not just love and care for others, but also slowly but surely, love and care about ourselves as well which is not easy but not impossible ,and surround ourselves with people and things that make us feel loved, happy, and motivated and not allowing others to continue to hurt us with their invalid assumptions and criticism.

Wow, who would’ve known that The Fault in our stars would have a big impact on mine and my friends’  perspectives during that time haha ;-;

Extra notes:📔✨

After looking at the quote “I want to sleep for 2 years and wake up with a degree, an apartment, and money in the bank”my high school self had reblogged,  I started to think about how sad and boring that would have been If I had been asleep and missed out on 2 years of my life and just magically woke up with a degree, an apartment, and money and not actually lived through those experiences and small achievements, as well as miss out on all the memories that I would have made with my friends and family during that time. Although some of these past years during my journey in obtaining my degree and becoming more stable and independent have been hard, exhausting and sad at times, there have also been so many happy and fun moments with my friends and family that have made up for those bittersweet ones and so I think it would be sad to live without knowing about those moments and memories. 

Ah the song “Sweater Weather” lol; I remember me and my friends Emily, Amber, Darlyn, Kaylyn, and Michelle really liking the song when it came out lol. I remember thinking it was such a perfect/ cliche song to listen to during a chilly, crisp Autumn day lol. I haven’t listened to the song since high school but I think I might add it to my rainy day/ Autumn throwback songs playlist lol ^^

November 2013: 

      For some reason, what I remember the most from November of 2013  is that my Envirothon group met together for the first time with other high school groups representing their school in the Maryland envirothon at Camp Schmidt lol aw wow I can’t believe that happened so long ago. I remember my biology high school teacher (Mr.Cordon) selecting my friend Darlyn, Amber, along with a few others from our freshmen year,  and a tenth grade group and me as the two groups to represent our school.  Omg lol I remember being assigned to represent and lead the Wildlife portion of the competition and my friend Amber being in charge of the soil  and environment portion while my friend Darlyn being put in charge of the nature/ tree information section despite her being allergic to various types of trees. I feel really sorry about that to this day because what if she had gotten a really bad allergic reaction. I still don’t know to this day how or why  Mr. Cordon decided that  😭 😭

It felt kind of nice though to get away from our Campus  for a while and being surrounded by so much nature and fresh  breeze :)   

Extra notes:📔✨

Looking back at these posts also makes me realize how some other things about me and some of my preferences haven’t changed. I still  do quite enjoy rainy days, especially those rainy days where I don’t have any important things to do and I can just stay inside while listening to the rain outside and watching movies from the comfort of my room lol or taking short walks in the rain. 

I also still have this appreciation for black and white photographs; Like I mentioned in another post of mine, I just think that black and white and grainy photos have this unique mood and just give this very soft, nostalgic feeling when you look at them.

I also still love acoustic songs and guitar covers of songs and scenery photos of different places 

I also still love the look of busy cities like Paris, New York, London, etc when they are completely covered in snow and only the twinkling lights from buildings can be seen; Idk I just like the soft and subdued feeling snow gives to those busy cities :)

I miss being able to learn a new language; I’ve been thinking about starting to  teach myself the basics of a new language over this summer break lol but I’m not sure where to start or which language to pick ;-; 🤔 So far I’ve been thinking about learning either French or Korean but we’ll see lol; If I do decide to start learning, my goal is to just at least get to just 1 level above beginner’s level 🤧

Okay I’ll stop here for today and do this again with of my other posts another day ^^.

[yuwhala]

Trying to read a lot of post right now and trying to be open minded (which is, I'm ashamed of it, not my forte) because I'm confused about a lot of things and why we (Tumblr) didn't like this season. Just a heads-up before you read the rest : this is not sarcasm, my writing is not the best and I'm sorry about it, I'm not trying to say that you should love this season or feel comfortable with it, I just wish to share how I feel about it all and wish to know why we do not agree on others things. I also mostly write because it helps me sort out my thoughts and see things more clearly. I wish not to offend anyone and please let me know if I did.

There are some things I really didn't like :

- The thing I wish happened (like apparently everyone else) was the girls apologising. Because right now it feels like they never did any wrong when ......they did. And that's bad, because the only one that is pointed out as the bad person by the show is Ingrid. When she's not the only one who behaved badly. But that's what the problem is. The show doesn't even show us that the girls not supporting Imane is a Bad thing. None of them said anything when Ingrid was saying obvious bullshit or when Daphné is saying her usual shit. It's always Imane doing it. And no one going her way either. The only time someone other than Imane was being angry at a racist comment was Manon back in season 1 when she stormed out of the room after Daphné was being (once again) racist af and she told her that she didn't understood how  she could say so much bullshit. But that's all. So yeah I wish they would have made the white girls apologize for not being here for Imane. Ever. The fact that we got that amazing clip of Manon and Imane talking about how Imane never feels like she belongs and that we never ever got a following consequence of that discussion is ridiculous.

- Manon and Charles going back together. For obvious reasons. Like ? Urgh. No.

- Jamila talking back to Imane on pure coïncidence like she never abandoned her when Imane entered highschool with no explanation other than "sorry I don't think that we should talk anymore" ????? What ??????? And now they're BFF ????? When Jamila never apologized either ????

- That's a really small complaint that is nothing near as terrible as the other things I pointed out but there is a lot of small time mistakes. Some clips were clearly supposed to be aired on other days than the days we got them.

- Another small complaint but one of the things I liked the most about Sana's season was seeing her praying and the whole process that went with it. I feel a little robbed here. Those were moments that felt utterly beautiful and mesmerising to me when I first watched Sana's season.

But there is a lot of things I liked and I think are important to show on a french TV show mainly directed for a young audience :

- They adresses a LOT the day to day racism a black Muslim woman can get, they voiced the fact that it was racism a lot too and that Imane had all the rights to be angry at that kind of comments. They made it real too : Imane had to stop dancing because the teacher didn't want her to wear her hijab in the lesson. That's an actual debate in everyday life in france : we're living in an "secular country" (lol not really but that's what politicians like to say whenever they want to be islamophobic. Funny how our joke of a president actually said we had to reconnect with our catholic roots. Lol. Secular country indeed. ANYWAY) and that's why Imane doesn't wear hijab at school, because “no one” should wear signs of religion in public school (but hey guess little crosses or Mary’s face for catholic folks around their necks or David’s star for jewish kids around their neck is not a sign of religion right ? Because I’ve seen them more than once in school) . Perhaps you know that not too long ago there was a polemic about a french store for sports equipment announced that they wanted to start selling sports hijab for hijabi women and well our country went NUTS and the company had to abandon that project because they were sent death threats and whatnot by racist people. And the show addressing that issue (that is french people being racist) is important. The show showing us that wearing the hijab is Imane's choice is important. Imane voicing that being a black women who is muslim in France is making her life difficult is important. And they showed us that many time. With ordinary racism. With Ingrid being afraid of black girls for no reason other that they're black. They've showed us a lot of hardship that comes with it : people being ignorant and racist, people being racist because they're racist, people judging and assuming things because they heard that thing somewhere but never checked the facts. And the fact that Imane said on many occasion 'this is racism' was important. They give us an explanation on why in the first seasons Imane seemed harsh and that being linked with the racism she has to face everyday was really nice. They made Imane tell that she was not feeling like she belonged anywhere. 

- I know a lot of people hated this but I'm glad she apologized whenever she did a bad thing. This is showing her growing up and be a mature teenager. This is showing up that she knows when to apologize but she also knows when she doesn't have to. I'm glad that Imane messed up. I'm glad she had a lot of communication issue. I was sad with her, I was ashamed with her but in the end I think we could all understand why she was acting the way she did. You can make mistake, you can realise that you made a mistake and still apologize.For me the drama was necessary. There was drama in every season of Skam and that’s kind of the goal of the show, to show that you’re allowed to make mistakes. The thing that was not handled well was the outcome of the drama.

- The family interactions and clips were incredible. Her mom being the 'bad cop' and her dad being more of the laid down dad type was perfect. Put Idriss on this and have them talk about why they think they're making their parents disappointed in themselves, why it's difficult to live as a Muslim in France, how they can talk to each other and understand multiple points of view too. How it's ok to be angry to feel emotions but to take them out on people who just wish for you to be happy is not the way to do it.

-The Lucas's talk. Again this is going with my first point but the fact that they added Imane saying that she's not the one who should have to be patient with racist people because they're ignorant was nice.

- The first four episodes were incredible and I think we all agreed on that. It was just Imane day to day life + her falling in love and enjoying life.

- Three of my favourite clips of the show : The bus clip, the chair clip and the mom clip. The bus was such an important scene where Imane was also asking questions to herself + all the cinematography that went into a simple bus ride was so great. The chair clip showing four very different Muslim girls talking about Ramadan and rules and how they're hungry, and love and sex and random things was so nice. They all had they're own way of talking, one reminded me of Emma because she had the same kind of vocabulary and way of saying things, one was more uptight etc. They all wear their hijab in different way they all say on different chair it was so nice. The mom clip, well, seeing a parent apologizing is not something I'm used to on TV show. Well they do apologize when they did extreme horrible things like killing someone but they never apologize for simple things like Imane mom did. The music in general used in the show is really nice and since season 3 Skam France outdid themselves on the cinematography part of the show.

That's all the things I can think about for now so what's the conclusion of all that ? I don't really know. As you may have understood I'm a white girl, I'm a part of some 'minority' groups (what's the word when it's not really a minority but still a group that is being pointed out as 'bad' by media and a large group of people ? The more I write the more I'm losing my English) like I'm a Bi girl, I have depression and I'm fat but I'm aware that's nothing to compare with being a woman of color and being a muslim woman. So yes, I think there is a lot of things that I did not understandd in why people hated this season and I should just accept WoC European Muslim critics and not try to say 'you're wrong' so I hope I'm not doing that here. I just wish to share my likes and dislikes of the season. Sometimes I have to think about an issue for a whole week to just kind of understand something I didn't agreed on before, so I'll be patient . Perhaps in two weeks I will just see the whole season on a different way. Perhaps I'm being too kind on the compliments (The other day I read that you shouldn't praise someone because they're being against racism because racism shouldn't exist in the first place. I'm still debating on that subject but I'm wondering if that applies here).

The thing is I'm still glad that this season exist. Yes it's really not perfect and yes the whole 'the girls never apologized or stand by Imane' is awful. I'm glad in the sense that I wished I could have seen this on TV when I was myself in highschool. When I was as ignorant as Daphné (...yeah... That sucks....I don't really understand how I managed to have friends). Because seeing that show, seeing all of what Imane had to go through would really made me oppened my eyes. It would have been a slap to the face and a needed wake up call. But yes, I agree, it was far from enough. So I'm a little on both sides. But as the same time I’m saying that this is an important season to see as a white ignorant woman, but perhaps that’s the whole issue ? That Imane’s season shouldn’t be made for white woman like a POV on a WOC every day life but just a story for Imane to live herself ?

[murphystartedthefire]

Conageddon: Richard VIP Meeting Recap

EDIT: I meant to say, I originally had a General Admission ticket, but a very kind soul Noémie who unfortunately couldn’t attend the con let me upgrade to her Richard Harmon VIP badge at a major discount and I can never thank her enough for that. 

-----------

- First off, someone in the VIP group had made friendship bracelets for everyone including Richard which was sweet. Another person had brought him a pink crop-top (tummy-bearing shirt) that said "Team Murphamy" on it, and when he saw it he IMMEDIATELY pulled his original shirt off and put it on. (Prompting one of the con staff members to walk in, see him topless, and just be like "Seriously, already?" LMAO.) He wore that for the rest of the meet & greet and group photo. *g*

- The VIP group was big (almost 20 people) but Richard made sure everyone had a chance to talk by going around the table and having each person say something, talk about where they’re from, ask him a question, etc. <3 A few people were still shy or couldn't come up with something, but most had something to ask. My first question was what's on his Murphy Playlist right now -- he said 500 songs but his big one for season six was “Villain” by David Ramirez. He also mentioned his favorite song is "Ballad of a Thin Man" by Bob Dylan, which is also on his Murphy list.

- His family teased him about being in Boston on St. Paddys Day, were texting him to come back alive. After the con on Sunday he appropriately had tickets to a Dropkick Murphys concert. (Turns out he wasn't the only one.)

- Favorite scary movie: He likes bad & good horror movies. His favorite is Halloween III: Season of the Witch, a cult movie people hated at the time but is secretly the best movie ever made.

- Also quick note that immediately before taking that photo, Bob gave him the beads because he showed him his nips.

Murphy & The 100 Stuff

- When asked about his favorite dynamic/people to work with on the show he went to Luisa right away, said people don't realize how good she is. He talked about this again on their panel later, but he realized it was funny he felt so close to her and until recently they didn't really know anything about each other's personal lives. In season three he was going through something bad and she probably could tell but they never talked about it, they just set everything aside when they worked together and he needed that.

- He also clarified that when he said in the past that he wanted the Memori breakup to stick, he didn't want that to be taken against her or that he’s not happy about them getting back together -- it's that he wishes she could do more on her own without being shackled to him.

- He also talked about Bob and how they have a competitive energy and push each other, like from the first day they both wanted to prove they were the better actor. Don't remember the exact bit but he was imitating how they were sizing each other up like "he thinks he's the lead but I'm better than him, oh okay he's good." :P

- Some more Memori cuteness -- he went through a long answer about whether various characters would be good at beer pong or not. (Monty: good at beer pong. Octavia: bad at beer pong. Clarke: very bad. Murphy: possibly good but his anger gets in the way. Echo: no, ranged weapons are not the same as beer pong.) And finally settled on Emori being the person he'd partner with on the show just as he did with Luisa IRL -- because she's a thief and has quick fingers, she'd be very good.

- He cited Murphy's scene begging for Emori in "God Complex" as his most challenging scene, along with the beginning of season three. He answered the same question at the meet & greet and later on the panel about what Murphy would've done if she had died - he has no doubt he would have killed Clarke or she’d have to kill him first.

- About the bunker scene in 3x01 - there was a lot of improvisation and him just doing whatever came to him and going crazy. It was his idea to pour the bottle of wine over his head, and that was a MISTAKE because then he was all sticky and they had to fix it in hair and makeup. They called cut and he was immediately like "ohhh I'm so sorry, I got too into it." Some joking about how Murphy just remained sticky for the rest of his time in the bunker.

- Favorite episode he said was 2x11 but meant 2x12 -- Murphy and Jaha in the desert is his favorite storyline. He loved the line "Faith? Nah, I just got nothing better to do."

- He really regrets that Murphy never got to have a moment reacting to Jaha's death. They had such an important relationship where he hated him but also had this weird father/son dynamic, even though he'd killed his father... It wouldn't even need to be a whole scene, just "someone tells me Jaha didn't make it and I could just have a look, let me play that."

- Another regret: in season 3 he wanted the stuff with Ontari to go differently, he liked the idea that she represented a dark side for Murphy, just being the kind of person who takes whatever she wants and doesn't have morals and there's something he actually likes in that, and meanwhile Emori is his light and hope of having another chance. But they didn't really explore that. He often has to remember he's like in the C-storyline and there's other stuff going on with the leads.

- On how Murphy will respond to Monty and Harper's death, he said Murphy doesn't like to feel indebted to people and he'd be upset that Monty had just saved his life and he doesn't think he knew how much Murphy respected and cared about him. [That may or may not actually come into play onscreen or with Jordan, he suggested that Murphy's kind of wary and annoyed by Jordan because he's annoyed by everyone.]

Non-Spoilery S6 Spoilers

- I asked him about Murphy's mental health in season six. He said there will be more of that, not because he's dealing with it but that he's adding *new* problems. O_O

- One of the fans said she sees Murphy as symbolizing the whole of the show because he's all about surviving and it's something the audience relates to also. He said something about how "how far is he willing to go to survive" is a running theme for Murphy specifically and in season six we'll see an answer to that question.

- They're not really gonna show any more of what happened in the six years, they're past that. (lights a candle in mourning for the spacekru flashbacks I never got siiigh.)

- A girl talked about how she loves Clarke and Murphy and always wants them to be friends, and Richard was like LOL ENJOY SEASON SIX implying they will... probably not be that. ;) He did give a legit answer to her question about how they are similar characters, and he thinks part of why they haven't been friends is Murphy just initially didn't like her and associated her with the ruling class on the Ark, where he had been locked up since he was like 10. Anyway he told the Clarke/Murphy Friendship girl that it will be hard but she also might like it, because Clarke and Murphy's relationship and how they feel about each other is central to this season.

- He was *pissed* (his words) about something that got cut from the first episode in season six -- it was just a small thing at the end of a scene, it sounded like it was related to Murphy and Jordan, but he was just really frustrated that it was in there and then cut. He'll say what it was after the episode airs. And then there was something else in season six (!) where he had to film a much longer & difficult scene and they edited it down a lot. He says Jason promised him they would make the full version available somewhere. (Nicole says: I will believe this when I see it, and also I'll know what the hell he's talking about when I see it.)

[dillydedalus]

september reading

i read some things i guess! open for the last (almost) of robin hobb, more mountaineering disasters, and …. dungeons & dragons?? (i completely forgot i had this in my drafts lol)

the nickel boys, colson whitehead idk man this is really well-written, well-paced, an important story based very much on real history, the characters serve their purpose very well, the violence and abuse is written in a way that is chilling without ever being gratuitous and with the exception of a twist that i thought was a little too predictable, there’s nothing i can really criticise. it just really lacked some spark for me, and maybe it’s just that after underground railroad (which is also didn’t particularly like, but damn that had spark) it feels a lil conventional. still good tho! 3/5

the adventure zone #1: here there be gerblins, various mcelroys & cary pietsch my brain Does Not Do podcasts but obvi i’ve been hearing A LOT about the mcelroy boys & i’m like. vaguely interested in d&d* so when this was made available on overdrive i was like okay why the hell not. it’s a fun, quick read, and while i don’t really know anything about d&d the trappings of the game were included in a fun way. nothing mindblowing, but a good time. 2.5/5

assassin’s fate (fitz & the fool #3), robin hobb y’all this is it… it’s been over a year & now i’m done with the realm of the elderlings (actually i still have the piebald prince novella & the short stories). i have some criticisms of this one (the timeline & the main climax seemed a lil muddled to me) but to be honest??? loved this, had all the feelings, was superhappy to see my cursed shores kids again, fitzy & bee were heartbreaking all the time, the paragon conflict was great, when fitz got to the quarry i literally immediately started uglycrying & pretty much didn’t stop until the end, so: 4.5/5 (series rating 4/5 i guess bc fool’s assassin was a drag & a half)

die nebelkrähe, alexander pechmann this is a speculative fictionalisation of a little episode in the spiritualist movement where medium hester dowden claimed she had communicated with/been briefly possessed by oscar wilde, which is pretty fun. unfortunately, pechmann chose to focus on his version of mr v., a pretty boring mathematician and skeptic, rather than the absolutely wild shit going on with dowden, which includes oscar wilde’s ghost dunking on james joyce (who responded by making fun of the whole thing in finnegans wake) and claiming he’s like totally straight. 2/5

oval, elvia wilk a neoliberal corporate hell/psychotropics/eco-punk gone wrong dystopia in berlin so you know i’m here (i.e. in berlin lol) for it. this is about a berlin in the not too distant future where finster corp (real subtle) is buying up everything, driving up rents through ecological redevelopment, artists mainly work as consultants for corporations, and our protags anja and louis live in a finster-sponsored zero-waste eco-commune on an artificial mountain in the middle of berlin. everyone’s jobs are nda-clad bullshit, everyone parties all the time without ever enjoying themselves, homelessness and income inequality are ignored with the barest twinge of guilt, and louis is developing a party drug that chemically makes you generous. oh and the nature on the mountain (the berg -.-) seems to be eating itself. the concepts are great, the writing is pretty good even tho it tries a bit too hard sometimes, wilk, while also suffering a lil from Expat Gaze, really knows berlin. the execution isn’t perfect, the pacing is a bit off, too much time is devoted to anja and louis’ boring relationship, and look, some of the dystopian elements are a bit obvious. neoliberalism bad. okay, we know. but there’s a lot of good here, and the ending is pretty great, if a bit underdeveloped. 3.5/5

travelers, helon habila a novel about the african diaspora in europe, told thru 6 inter-connected stories, all focusing on one story of migration. these are important stories well told, and i liked how they all linked up in the end. while berlin is the central hub these stories revolve around, not all are set in berlin and the setting really isn’t as central as i’d hoped (this is obvi very personal to me & my research interests so it’s not really criticism). i’d recommend this if you’re interested in the representation of african migrants and refugees. 3/5

the uninhabitable earth: life after warming, david wallace-wells shit’s fucked: the book. starts with ‘it is worse, much worse, than you think’ and doesn’t really get much more cheery from there. good if you want an idea of what the effects of global warming might be (a pretty pessimistic one, which is the point - when does pessimism become realism?), and how we (& how we might) respond to them. 3/5

the girl from the other side, nagabe (#1-5) spooky-yet-wholesome manga series about a snazzy demon who’s adopted a little human girl who has been abandoned/cast out by her human community, which is like 100% my jam. the central relationship is super cute & wholesome, the demon designs are amazing, the worldbuilding is really spooky & intriguing (if you touch a demon you’ll be cursed & also turn into a demon & tbh who doesn’t want to turn into a weird tall slightly monster with cool horns), and a lot of it is just the demon like. badly baking pie to cheer the girl up. 

girl woman other, bernardine evaristo somewhere between a novel and a collection of short stories written in a somewhat unconventional but highly readable style. the 12 stories each focus on one woman (and one nonbinary person), most of them black, examing black womanhood in britain throughout the 20th and 21st centuries. i enjoyed many of these stories, but the observational style and the way we quickly cover whole lives left me a bit detached. there’s also a lil corniness throughout, which comes out in full force in the epilogue, and while it’s cool to have trans rep, it honestly came across as a bit clueless. 3/5

dark summit: everest’s most controversial season, nick heil did someone say high-altitude mountaineering disasters? because i’m always here for some high-altitude mountaineering disasters. this is about the 2006 season which was p disastrous in terms of deaths even tho it didn’t even have a storm (cf the 1996 season aka please just read into thin air), just people walking past dudes who were dying bc rescues are extremely difficult & dangerous. anyway this ain’t into thin air, but it’s a good one & pretty wild bc all mountain climbers are fucking nuts. 3.5/5

sense & sensibility, jane austen really enjoyed this! the pacing is a lil weird & none of the men really is all that, but it’s all very charming & witty & i love sisterhood narratives (poor margaret!). as in (tho not as much as in) mansfield park, there’s a lot of attitudes that just don’t really track but in contrast to mp i found them interesting rather than frustrating, mostly - brandon/marianne is very uncomfortable especially when you realise that he’s projecting his tragic dead first love/sis-in-law onto marianne and that we don’t really see their courtship at all, but w/e. i especially enjoyed the ferrars family drama and the hilarious resolution to it, and i gotta say: lucy steele really did that & good for her. 4/5 

anyway, i’m about halfway thru alasdair gray’s lanark, which is a great big pomo brick, half portrait of the artist as a young glaswegian, half weird visions of hell in the city of unthank & i’m into it but it’s not a quick read. in october uni reading is also going to start, perhaps for the last semester ever :(

[idealisticrealism]

Blindspot 4x02

I really need to get onto these recaps in a more timely fashion. Left it too late then had to rush through bc I have somewhere to be. Ooops. Anyway happy Blindspot day everyone! Wish I could watch live with you.

Reade: oh honey.Things aren’t really going your way today, are they? First your AWOL bff-slash-kinda-lover-slash-heartbreaker is ignoring your calls and being glamorous in Paris with a shady heiress, and then she’s possibly exploded in a plane crash. Ouch. At least you took a moment somewhere in there to subtly tease Rich by complimenting Boston, I mean it’s good to know your soul hasn’t been entirely crushed by the mess your life has become lol

Zapata: girllllll what are you doingggggg. You are going down the worst kind of rabbit hole, and fast. Though I guess this isn’t the first murder you’ve helped cover up, soooo.... But ugh even so I still wanna swoop in there and steal you away and protect you. I’m sure your whle storyline is gonna somehow prove relevant and important later and may even somehow save the day, but STILL. Even Keaton seems worried about you, though lbr no one knows what that sneaky bastard is really thinking (not even you). And I mean seriously you had such a great and loving team and somehow you ditched them to seek out progressively worse company. And now you’re in deep shit, bc what the hell are you gonna do with a child who has seen your face and knows you were involved in her mother’s murder??? (Don’t you dare call Reade lol)

Patterson: Ugh my adorable sassy baby. You were part of three amazing duos this ep and I could not get enough. I mean I am ALWAYS here for your adorable friendship and teamwork with Rich, but god I love the love/hate relationship you and Boston have-- like the fact you had to pause to consider if solving a tattoo and potentially saving a lot of lives was worth having to deal with him again haha. But lbr you guys are secret besties. He even calls you PatPat and you allow it, and you have your own fistbump I mean what could be cuter. And then there was your other teamup, heading out into the field with Remi. I was worried that Rich being in more eps would mean you would get less airtime, but I’m so glad that’s not the case. Also everyone forgets you’re also a badass FBI agent who can handle herself out in the field just like any of the others, so I’m glad these last two eps have given you the chance to kick some butt. Too bad you got screwed over by Remi and slept through half the action though lol. Oh also I loved the line “Would you like to make a transaction? Ugh not really” hahaha, you are the cutest lil sassy thing and honestly if you and Rich took over as the leads of this show I would be totally fine with that

Rich: holy crap, never in my wildest dreams did I expect to have an episode where you were literally in almost every scene. From cracking tattoos to sincerely comforting Reade (man you two never have scenes together and you both did so great with these) and even actually using Zapata’s name for once. That’s how we know shit is serious haha. And then going from a happy lil puppy when your bf Boston is allowed to come play, to a little kid acting out bc you’re worried that someone else is gonna steal all your toys, then sucking it up and attempting to be the proverbial bigger man (not entirely successfully, but props for trying). And of course, as always everything you say is amazing, as is every little gesture or expression-- like seriously who needs to watch stand up comedy when they can just watch you instead??? I love you the way you love this team, so I think you’ll understand when I say please never ever leave me. Ever.

Weller: welcome back to the team, buddy. Now you can proceed to be basically a background character for most of the rest of the episode apparently haha. Although that was a cute moment where you figured out the web address thing before anyone else, including two expert hackers. That was a proud moment. I do like how you handled the Jane-taking-photos thing, addressing it quickly and with gentleness and concern, and hardly any manly over-protectiveness. But dude you definitely gotta be recognising that something is off about Jane. I’m sure you’ve written it off as related to the ZIP poisoning, but by now you gotta wonder if it’s something more, right?? Oh and now the overprotectiveness has kicked in and you’re off to save the day. There’s my lil heroic hubby, I’ve missed you. I’m actually super impressed you took the shot when the spy guy had her hostage, that took some true guts and trust in your own abilities. Looks like the real Weller IS back after all. 

Remi: Boston’s right, your hairdo does change your whole vibe. And with the lack of smiling, it even makes your face shape seem different. Which is cool, but creepy, bc man are you one vindictive little brat. To an extent I enjoy your sneakiness and watching this secret game of cat and mouse you’re playing right under the team’s noses, but every time you’re subtly mean to them or smile at their misfortune I wanna stand in between you and them and growl at you a little bit. I’m not at all happy about you betraying my precious Patterson like that. The little moment you shared with the spy dude was actually kind of interesting though, did we maybe see a little bit of depth to Remi just now? Maybe a small indication that she really does want to HAVE a family, not just get revenge for the one she lost?? Ugh also why did it make me so happy to hear you say “my husband’s FBI”? Maybe bc it sounded kinda genuine? Like you could have told the guy that it was your team coming and they wouldn’t risk you, but no you focused on Weller specifically. And then ugh that amazing parallel to the moment in 1x01 with one of you being held hostage and nodding for the other to take the shot. Did you remember that, somewhere deep down? Did you realise that you truly trusted him to do this?? I feel like this moment is gonna have deeper ramifications than you expected or intended and it’s gonna make your little vendetta a lot more difficult for you. And maybe that unwelcome emotion is exactly what triggered you cooking up a literal murder needle in your kitchen... seriously girl do you realise how Extra you are, or?? But lbr despite all your talk, you won’t be able to kill him. Something in you loves him, and that’s why you’re so damn grumpy all the time haha

Roman: Damn, son. Even as a hallucination you’re still such a grumpy little wounded puppy and I miss you soooo muuuuchhh. Also I’m so sad that when Jane/Remi is eventually cured from the ZIP poisoning you’ll probably disappear forever ughhh :’( 

Keaton: ....why are you even here right now. Couldn’t you just give them this intel over the phone. And now you just gave Remi the opportunity to screw over Patterson ugh. Next time, just call okay

Boston: oh you sarcastic bitch I love you so much. Like not only do you basically solve the whole tattoo, you call Jane out on being different “Your whole vibe is...edgier. It’s a triumph.” (of course you like the more evil version of her lol) and “Awww, you got one, Limpy!” You do that mix of sweet and mocking so well, though lbr you actually kinda love these guys and you’re so happy to be here. I think you would love to have Rich’s job but you’d never actually want to replace him in it, because you know how much he really does love these people and how he’s found a family here. But of course that won’t stop you messing with him and making him worry about being replaced lol. Please leave but also please come back soon haha

Guy at the very start who looks like an older David: hey man you look like an older David thanks so much for making me sad

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #177

“i get pretty just to fuck my face up.”

What’s your favorite flavor of ice pop? Strawberry or watermelon. Do you like animal print? What’s your favorite print? Not particularly, but I suppose jaguar. What do you think of foot tattoos? Surprisingly, not a big fan. It's gotta be cute, well-placed, and small. Did your senior class in high school have a class trip? Where did you go? Maybe? I don't remember. What do you normally order at Dunkin Donuts? Chocolate frosted. What do you drink with dinner? It varies. Can be soda, water, milk... Peanuts or sunflower seeds? I don't like either. What is your favorite grocery store to shop at, and how often do you shop for groceries? Sam's Club totally has the best deals, but I don't make the shopping calls here. Who is your favorite character from the last movie you watched? Uhhh the super paranoid lady whose actress is a legend. Where did you have your first kiss? What about your last kiss? His bed; airport. What is the last thing you spoke to your father about? Phone bill. Who do you feel you have the most in common with? Sara. Who in your life causes you the most stress or negative feelings? Myself. Have you ever apologized to someone, but didn’t mean it? I'm sure at some point. What is the one thing that you can’t resist? Reese's, I sometimes cannooooot tell myself no to a Mtn. Dew Voltage, wanting to pet an animal even if it's dangerous, and uhhh I'm sure there's more. Have you ever done another person's homework for money? No. If you could play any piece of music on an instrument, what would it be? Teach me the ending piece from WKM on the piano so I could ruin myself further than just listening to it already does. Have you ever treated someone like they were nothing? I don't believe so. If you could ask 5 questions and get an exact answer, what would you ask? Oh yikes, deep one. Um... 1.) what is the cure for cancer, 2.) cure for Alzheimer's/dementia, 3.) cure for HIV/AIDS, 4.) how can/is it even possible to obtain world peace, and 5.) will I be stable in the future are what come to mind first. Does it frighten you when animals get into fights? I GET VERY SCARED FOR THE ANIMALS. When you were little did you touch just about everything in the store? YUP YUP YUP. Do you ever leave your drinks out in the open at a party? N/A, but I absolutely would not. Ever suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder? Yes. Who is someone you’ll always hate? No one I personally know. How many people do you trust 100 percent? Just one. I would include Mom, but I know she lies about Dad. Do you think you could survive a month of solitary confinement? NO, I really think I'd lose it and kill myself. Do you often start books, yet never finish them? I don't read, but I'd do that if I didn't like it. When was the last time you felt abandoned by someone? Idr. Does the sight of blood gross you out? No. Have you ever gone through a red light? No. Do you fail to stop for stop signs, sometimes? No. What is your favorite eye color in the opposite sex? Blue. When you are sad, do you cheer yourself up, or look to others? It depends, but I usually begin with the former. During which year of your life were you the most unhappy? 2016 can been damned by God themselves. Have you ever seen a bluejay in person? Yes. Have you ever eaten grass/leaves? Probably as a kid. Do you typically like green-colored candies? Yeah! Apple flavor is the bomb.com. Who is the most energetic and happy person you know of? Ryder, my nephew. Who makes you smile the most often? Sara Jane. :') How do you express your happiness? I'm louder, more talkative, goofier. When was the last time you did a good deed? Uhhh idk. It's a tiny thing, but I suppose you could count me getting my old man bub with arthritis up on the bed when he wanted up. What songs make you happy? Lots... Do you like to sing? Sometimes, but I'm not good at it. Where is somewhere that holds fond memories for you? Ummm the little pond behind the community college where we took our first prom photos. That whole day was just extremely magical, and passing it is a severe PTSD trigger so if for whatever reason we're driving past there, Mom goes around it. I did pass it a few months back when I was taking pictures of flowers around the college and I was okay, probably because I didn't even glance at it. What do you think of the gothic stereotype? # A E S T H E T I C Have you ever encountered a black widow? Yup. What scares you, more than anything else? Ending up alone/losing all those I love. Has an animal ever peed on you? Lol yeah...  Pet rodents have multiple times when getting them accustomed to being held, a puppy probably has, and Venus (my snake) did once after I held her for like an hour, aha. Couldn't be mad at that angel, she was obviously so comfy. What would make a cool substitute color for the sun? Pink. Is purple a good color for a car? Sure. Do you prefer green or purple/red grapes? Purple; crisper. What is something you like that is sour? Warheads. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some hot wings at BWW with one of the hottest sauces. When was the last time you had a real deep chat? Idk, I'm sure something with Sara. Who did you last see on webcam? I've no idea. Have you ever discovered something gross in your food at McDonalds? No. What’s your favorite flavor of Ramen? I only like the spicy chicken Yakisoba ones. Have you ever spent the night in jail? No. Name a really popular television show you never got into: Ha, a lot. Game of Thrones, for one, but I'd be willing to give it a second chance via more episodes and a different attitude and actually kinda want to. Sara, add that to our list. Do you listen to any unsigned bands/singers? Who? No, I don't believe so. I need to start listening to my old friend's band, though, because I really want to support them; they work so hard and are very serious about taking their band somewhere. Nova Mortis if you're interested and like heavy metal. What do you find really interesting? THE PARANORMAL, for one. Genetics, psychology, fossils, abandoned buildings and shacks, natural selection and evolution, outer space, differences in languages and cultures, and so much more. Who is your favorite video game character? Spyro! What kind of pictures do you post on Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat most frequently? I like never post pictures, but selfies on FB, then I have two photography Instagrams. Do you remember the first person you felt sexually attracted to? Seriously, Jason. Have you ever been on vacation with a significant other? No. Is there anything on your bucket list that you’re hoping to cross off soon? A lot of things, but. Probably won't be soon as many include travel. Of all of your friends’ significant others, who do you get along with best? And least? Sam's wife Kieley is an absolute doll; least, idk. What would your life be like if you had married your first love? HAHAHAHAHA I REEEEEAAAAALLY DON'T WANT TO PICTURE THAT KNOWING NOW HE DIDN'T/DOESN'T BELIEVE IN ME AND CAN'T COMMUNICATE FOR SHIT. What is the most difficult or time-consuming thing you’ve ever cooked? Would you make it again? N/A Have you ever had a platonic friend that everyone insisted you should be in a relationship with? Girt, hardcore. Eventually did, but we know how that went. Is there anything about a person’s sexual past that might stop you from wanting to date them? Yup: if they've assaulted someone, prostitution is involved, casual flings/one-night stands have happened, being/have been a porn star, cheated before. If someone asked your closest friends/family members what career path might suit you best, what do you think they would say? Like, everyone will answer that question with "vet." Have you ever considered “unplugging”/taking a significant period of time away from technology? lol nope I doubt I'd last a day with no technology. Do you use a photo editor? Lightroom, Photoshop, sometimes PhotoScape. Is your dad overweight? Quite the opposite. Ever been honked at? Yeah. Which do you prefer, doctor or dentist? Dentist; I'm never nervous for them. Name two things you put whipped cream on? I haaaate whipped cream. Texture thing. Favorite thing you’ve ever painted? Two meerkats grooming, done on a huge thing of burlap. What’s your favorite type of sushi? Never tried, never will. Have you ever had an ulcer? No. What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend has had? Scarlett. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster? Yup. I had a long insomnia streak where I physically couldn't sleep without Melatonin. What is your current favorite song? I'm hooked on "The Bottom is a Rock" by Mother Mother rn. If you had to move to another country, where would you move? Canada. Do you have a balcony? No. Are you jealous of anyone, even mildly? If so, who? Yeah, my sisters, as well as some real successful friends. Have you ever done a craft you saw in a magazine? No. Have you ever made a recipe you found in a magazine? No. Who is a singer that has given you chills? Celine Dion, Loreena McKennitt, Sebastian Bach, David Draiman, and Amy Lee off the top of my head. What act would you perform in a talent show? I wouldn't, I got nothin'. What area are you the most gifted in, do you think? Um... writing, I guess? Which style of wedding dress is your favorite? BALLGOWN BITCH Do you enjoy editing videos? Ye! Do you enjoy editing photos? Yup. Who do you think is the most attractive actor? I see u Jason Momoa. Have you ever been caught doing something REAL embarrassing by your parents? I don't believe so. Do you believe in reincarnation? No. Do you have any of your neighbors as friends on Facebook? No. When was the last time you thought about sex, or sexual things? Ummm within the past few days probably, at least briefly? Are there any flowers planted outside your house? We have a tall bush that sprouts big, pink flowers, if that counts. Does anyone in your family smoke? Dad. What was the very first election you voted in? I haven't yet. Do you have a drone? No. Are you the type that’s too ashamed to ask for or use directions? No, rather too shy. Were you tired when you woke up this morning? YEAH. I slept like shit and had to get up early for a VR assessment. You overhear two people gossiping about you; what do you do? I feel like I'd say something sarcastic to them. Or be more mature about it and ask why. Or cry. Are you proud of who you are? Eh, only in certain areas... Is your vision good? I can barely read the line below the big "E." So no lmao. Are you a legal adult? Yeah but idk how. Has anyone ever called you a flirt? No. What was the last compliment your received? The assessment lady at VR loved my hair. Do you know any sign language? No. Who was the last person to give you a gift? Sara, on our anniversary. Do you trust the media? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA BITCH NO. If you could kill off one species of animal, which would it be? Can gnats like????? not???????? Idk if they have a single useful function????????? What kind of cookies are your favorite? Chocolate chip. Who’d you last say I love you to? My mom. What’s the most overpaid job in your opinion? I'm not educated on this enough to give you an informed answer. What’s the last thing you wrote down? Working out a math problem during the assessment. When’s the last time you didn’t sleep in your own bed? Over a month ago. When’s the last time you heard a gunshot? Idk. Who’d you get mad at last? Myself. What’s the last thing that annoyed you? Bentley wouldn't listen. When’s the last time you gave someone advice? I think yesterday? Do you think you’re lucky, unlucky, or neither? Neither. Who did you last disappoint? Myself. Do you enjoy learning? Of course!!!! I mean there're subjects I have no interest in and don't enjoy, but learning as a whole is great. People say you learn something new every day, so what did you learn today? Well it was nothing big, but that I could return Miku before she got hurt since Mitsu didn't appreciate a new "buddy." Yes or no: eyebrow piercings? They can look super badass or awful depending on your face and eyebrow thickness imo. When I say The Beatles, what is the first song that comes to mind? "Yellow Submarine" even tho I hate that song???? In your opinion, what is the very worst type of weather? Hot and humid, especially with no breeze. Just no. You can only listen to 1 band for the rest of your life, who do you pick? DON'T MAKE ME. What is something that you had to learn the hard way? DON'T. THINK. A RELATIONSHIP. IS WITHOUT A SINGLE CHANCE. OF. SOMEONE. LEAVING. EVEN. IN THE MOST "SECURE" ONES. When was the last time you felt like your heart was actually breaking? Ahhhh I'm not sure. Either something with Mom or Sara. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Mom. If your ex called you right now, would you answer? I don't have his number, so I wouldn't answer. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Sara. Do you want your tongue pierced? It is. 10/10 recommend for cute factor, but 0/10 for the healing process and pain asjfawiwo. Mine's through the very tip of my tongue and because that area is so sensitive, it was so painful that I became immediately nauseous. Pain didn't entirely vanish for almost two weeks. BUT I have zero regrets, so worth it. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? Yeah. What’s one thing in your life that you wish you could change? Financial position. Have you ever been in a perfect relationship? Ha, don't ever believe those exist. Do you still talk to the person who broke your heart the most? Nope. Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? Ummm I don't believe so. Well, I don't know if I'd take back going all the way or whatever the fuck that was, maybe I would. idk Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? No. Can you drive, and if you can, do you like it? I'm capable, but I don't enjoy it at all. Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? Yeah, being in a shit mood and/or being impulsive with my words. Do you like french fries? Who the FUCK sayin no to this. Have you ever ate so much you puked? No. Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? To some degree/in certain aspects. Would you rather eat cookies or brownies? Probs brownies. Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones? No. Are you good with managing your finances? I don't. Not in that position yet. What is the closest pizza place to your house? Domino's. Do you have any silly nicknames or pet names? Hmmmm no. Are you any good at drawing? Some things. Is there anything unusual about your house? No. Can you maintain a text conversation or do you run out of things to say? I think I'm good at keeping *text* convos going, surprisingly. Do you find it hard to talk to strangers, even people who work in stores? YEAH!!!!!!! Have you ever tasted goat’s milk? No. Did you ever take classes for a musical instrument when you were younger? Yup. Band member all through middle school, stopped after my junior year of HS. Do you snore when you sleep? No, but I talk a loooot. Who is the first person who broke your heart? Dad. Do you know anyone who has fought in a war? Jason's dad was in the Navy. What religion are you? Theist, which basically just entails me believing there's a god/goddess/some sorta beginning deity, but hell if I know anything about them. I make my own guesses. Who is the last person you gave a ride to, and where did you take them? I don't have a license or my own car. What is the last thing you untruthfully denied? Hm. I'm not sure. Have you ever ridden on a real train? No. Name ONE good memory about your last ex? He's absolutely hilarious and I miss hanging out more! Would you consider yourself dishonest? Not gonna bullshit and claim I never am, but in general, no. Do you tend to let people break through your walls easily? HAHA YEAH RIGHT. What are you superstitious about? Nothing. What is the coolest thing you can do? Oh boy, hell if I know. I know from experience people are often surprised how even skittish animals/pets seem to be drawn to me; does that count? Is there anyone you want to hook up with that you haven’t? Not my thing.

[ecoutez-moi]

part 5 - gratefulness in our lives

DAY  27  - MONDAY - March 15

Adreanna C.

Of course! I am grateful for:

1. God & His many blessings

2. Family

3. Friends

4. Great health

5. Being in my right mind

6. Remaining financially stable during these hard times

7. Having a roof over my head

8. Having so much love & support surrounded around me

9. The mistakes I’ve made & continue to make every now & then because I only learn from them

10. LIFE

DAY 28 TUESDAY- March 16

Sophia C.

10 things I’m grateful for

1. A steady job that allows me to have a income to not only purchase what I need but also little wants that bring me joy.

2. A group of work friends who takes me as I am. They listen to my Debbie downer complaining when I feel burnt out and take in my over-the-top extra-ness when I feel motivated without making me feel bad about being either way.

3. A healthy and relatively smooth first pregnancy with only annoying but not-too-scary symptoms or complications.

4. Being able to spend time with my family and have them feed me/talk to me while transitioning to a new place.

5. Having the financial means to get a bigger place.

6. Having support from my partner during an isolating time.

7. Having different types of friends and relationships to lean on in different aspects of my life- an empathetic brother and an aggressive sister to stand up for me in the stuff that I’m too meek in.

8. The recovery of my family after health scares.

9. A body that allows me to live and enjoy life.

10. The experiences and relationships that brought me to where I am today and continue to help me grow as a person.

Rachel C.

Rachel’s Gratitude List

   •    A safe place to live

   •    A caring partner in life

   •    My health

   •    The ability to find the positive in a situation rather than getting stuck in the negative.

   •    Access to clean water to drink

   •    A way to make a living in the midst of this pandemic.

   •    Food 😊

DAY 29 WEDNESDAY - March 17

Didi

Today I’m grateful to wake u p  and still can see a beautiful view of the sky. A fresh smell in  the morning. A good breakfast which tastes so amazing even if it ‘s just a scrambled egg. A peace of mind I had because I wake up to live like there’s no tomorrow. Love and Bless <3 

Maritza

I’m grateful for everything

Happiness friends and love Nd  music

DAY 30 Thursday  - March 18

Kristin D. 

I am grateful for:

1. Loving parents and family

2. Friends

3. Health

4. Safe shelter

5. Food provision

6. Current employment

7. The opportunity to sit still (this is spiritual)

8. New bible study

9. Mentoring program

10. Lessons that I will learn from the last 2 difficult weeks

Ivy F.

1. Yoga

2. Breathing

3. Fresh foods

4. My parents

5. Support of friends

6. Hope for change

7. Rain & sunshine

8. Simply feeling - allowing myself to get more comfortable with openly feeling my emotions

9. A laugh that hurts so good

10. A bright smile

Justus W.

Grateful for strength and wisdom in my marriage!

Grateful for the trials I’ve been through that added clarity to my thinking

Grateful that my mother and brothers are taken care of

Grateful for the gifts God had given me to use.

Grateful that every time anyone negative or crazy is in my life God always exposes them.

Grateful that in my years of cross country driving nothing terrible has ever happened.  

Grateful that God must have a lot of patience with me 😂

Grateful to have a home and safe place.

Grateful that since I turned 18 God has provided for every bill. Never missed a payment on anything

Grateful that I know God. And that if anything on this list ever changed I could still stand on the Word and have faith!

DAY 31 March 19 FRIDAY

Klisha T. 

Hmmmmmm 10 things

About to get the kids to bed but theres so many things lol

For health, for my kids, for healing for Mya, for my husband, for salvation, for God's grace

For our best friends Myo and Natalie

Literally for a place to live

Running water

Food

Is that 10? Lol

DAY 32 March 20 SATURDAY

Vlad S.

My wife

My family

My friends

My dogs

My creativity

Nature

Good food

My neighborhood

Biking

My youth

Kevin M. 

I am grateful for my health - I am

Obviously getting older but I feel like I am healthier than when I was younger. I am feeling the healthiest and most grounded I have felt in a long time.

I am grateful for some space in my life.

I am grateful for the deep, connected friendships I have cultivated over the years. I feel as we all get older these friendships are going to be what sustains me.

I am grateful to be inspired everyday by what people are creating in this world.

I am grateful I get to work at something that interests me.

I am grateful that most days I wake up and can put my energy towards things that excite me.

I am grateful for my mom, dad and my sisters and the family I was born into.

I am grateful I am still very close to my mom and sisters.

I am grateful that I get to live in NYC and that the city still excites and inspires me.

I am grateful for Al-Anon.

I am grateful to be free of any substance addictions in my life.

I am grateful for the natural talents, skills, gifts that I have been given by God and that I can use those everyday to what I do or in service of others.

I am grateful that I have been blessed with the resources that I need to live a comfortable life.

I am grateful that it’s easy for me to see the good in people.

I am grateful that I have a curious mind.

I am grateful that I feel my feelings deeply.

I am grateful that I am nor afraid to cry in front of people.

I am grateful that I always want to be better.

I am grateful for my three children and that they have such big, bold and expressive personalities.

I am grateful for the many years I have had in partnership with Leslie and all the incredible adventures we have had.

I am grateful for the other romantic relationships I have had in my life and the wisdom they have given me.

I am grateful for the times life teaches me how to let go.

I am grateful that alcoholism in my family has given me the opportunity to form a deeper connection to my spirituality.

I am grateful that I have so many things I am grateful for!!!

DAY 33 March 21 SUNDAY

I missed today :( 

DAY 34  March 22 MONDAY

David H.

1. Everyone in My family is healthy

2. Thru this last year where our family members could not meet , my cousins have announced engagements and pregnancies so our family is growing

3. Work is good , the word is getting out that I’m not bad at this

4. In a world where ppl have a difficult time

This year, my business has thrived

5. My perspective on life is more keen

6. I have the capability to low you now as a passerby than I did years ago when I was closer

7. God was always with me. But I only see him now

8. From our last conversation you’re in better place now and I’m thankful for that

IM so happy for you. I couldn’t genuinely say that years ago

9. Perspective

10. Christina, you’re a bigger part of my life than you know.  I’D kill for you

DAY 35 MARCH 23 TUESDAY

Chrissy K.

My ten.. I’m grateful..

- even though my sanity and energy is tested everyday- I’m grateful for this extra time I’m having with the kids, to watch them grow in small ways everyday

- most of family and friends have been healthy (or able to recover), safe, financially stable during the pandemic

- being able to ride out half of the pandemic in San Diego, meaning more space, more things for the kids to do ie, zoo, beaches, closer to cousin

-having access to some beautiful outdoors

- great weather so we weren’t cooped up inside all year

- super humbling and challenging living with the in-laws.. but grateful charlie and Benny are able to bond with them

- the timing of things.. bro was out in ny right before pandemic hit so was able to help At the store, in-laws decided to go to Korea for extended time so it allowed us to have time alone in sd, my maternity leave rolled right into quarantine

- food

-korean dramas 😂 keeping it real- turned into korean lady putting on kdrama while I do dishes and cook

- finally able to drink again.. pass that glass of wine or beer

DAY 36 MARCH 24 WEDNESDAY

Shav G. 

1. my health

2. my sleep schedule

3. my ever supportive family

4. my friends i get to jam with every day

5. my studio being close by

6. the city that inspires me every day

7. my recent boom in love interests 🤣

8. my view

9. my doormen they’re my bff’s

10. my drive to do better

Anne C.

[11:17 PM, 3/24/2021] Anne C: this is amazing - love that you're creating and holding space for something positive.

[11:17 PM, 3/24/2021] Anne C: life has been very tough - giving me a beating with what its throwing at me.

[11:18 PM, 3/24/2021] Anne C: so I'll like to say i'm grateful for strength

DAY 37 MARCH 25 THURSDAY

Marion G.

What a great idea! I would love to!

1. My family

2. Good health

3. Great friends (you included!)

4. Coffee in the morning

5. A good night's sleep (when I get one)

6. The time I've been able to spend with my kids this past year.

7. Peace of mind

8. Having a job during these difficult times

9. Wine

10. Music

What a great exercise to do first thing in the morning! Miss you!! ❤

Bonnie Y.

DAY 38  MARCH 26 FRIDAY

Sina W.

1. My parents. They’ve really been there for me through the challenges of covid & especially through the break up. Paying for therapy & spending a lot of time with me watching shows and just crying was very needed.

2. Ty. I would say “my friends” but I haven’t seen my friends like that. I spend every day with Ty lol. He is my friend soulmate and I hope everyone finds a friend like him. He walked me to my apartment every night when I was being harassed by my ex, let me crash with him, fed me, and above all has made incredible sacrifices to be a part of this music journey with me and I can’t thank him enough.

3. Nature. I’ve spent a lot of time connecting with nature, reading about nature, and sitting in nature. It’s been very meditative and helped me keep a level head.

4. Music. Just grateful to do what I love & be able to take everything I’m feeling and turn it into something tangible and productive. It has been my saving grace through quarantine and I don’t know what I’d be doing if I didn’t have it.

5. Edibles lol. Between October and February my anxiety was through the roof. I’ve been through a lot of shit recently and thank god there’s been something to take the edge of sometimes.

6. Books. I’ve read 20 books since Christmas. I’ve been really excited about learning recently. Everything from meditation to the ice age to gentrification. It’s given me a lot of perspective and makes me really happy.

7. My sister. We recently started getting a lot closer and I always hoped that would happen.

8. My DOG. He makes me so happy. Like pure joy. I love him so much.

9. The sun. Not very common in Portland but every week we may get a sunny day and every time it happens it’s a reminder that this will be over soon. When the world was open, the clouds didn’t bug me so much. But now I look forward to the sun like no other.  

10. BLAZER GAMES. Omg. I have not missed a game this season. It gives me something to look forward to & they are so fun to watch.

Anna B.

1. My health

2. Friends

3. Intuition

4. Abundance

5. Setting boundaries

6. Mindfulness

7. Family

8. Frank

9. Creativity

10. Feeling safe

DAY  39 MARCH 27  SATURDAY

Jon R.

10 things I’m grateful for.

1. Friendship with genuine connection

2. Like minded individuals/creatives

3. My family (we’ve been dysfunctional for years but a new leaf has turned over and we’re all making a strong effort to be a better unit)

4. My litter brother finally making the choice to better his life and get off the streets

5. God!

6. My girlfriend

7. You. (we can go months without talking but we always pick up where we left off. Since day 1 you’ve been an honest friend who’s opinion I value and I love you dearly)

8. Fashion

9. Music

10. Good health

DAY 40 MARCH 28 SUNDAY

Allie G.

Hey Christina!!! Hope you are doing swell(: hmmm 10 things?

My friends

My house

The weather today 🔆

Healthy body

Healthy mind

Avocados

Live music

Laughter

The ocean

And YOU for allowing me to sit and think about that

DAY  41 MARCH 29 MONDAY

Ray T.

I’m grateful for the almost 25 years of friendship with Christina Chow Mein

Ann K.

Hi Christina,

I hope you’re doing well!

Today I am thankful for:

1. the Hubs (today is our anni)

2. having all our needs met everyday

3. healthy kids

4. getting to and from work safely

5. growing garden seedlings

6. COVID vaccine

7. teachers

8. consistently having work to do

9. longer hours of daylight

10. friends that remind me of God’s goodness

[surveysonfleek]

746.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 47

4501. Who do you feel on shaky grounds with? anyone who’s acting suspicious or uneasy. 4502. How would you rate Stephen King as a writer? i’ve never read any of his books tbh. 4503. What movie are you looking forward to? ocean’s eight! 4504. Hulk Hogan with or without the bandana? i can’t even imagine him without one. 4505. Do you more often tell people what you feel or what you think? both, i think they work hand in hand.

4506. Have you been to see an opera? no, i wouldn’t mind seeing it though. 4507. What do you wish that you knew with more certainty? what the future will bring. or at least what direction it’ll take. 4508. Does your heart break and break and live by breaking? no. 4509. Can you tell the difference between what you think and what you feel or do you often get them confused? nope. 4510. Do you feel like there are a lot of referances in this survey that you are not getting? yeah, it’s lame. a lot of grammatical errors too. 4511. You are shopping in the Mad Mall for things to add to your room. Of the following list, what 5 things will you buy? lollipops, lace up boots, bondage gear, bubblegum machine, a miniature orange grove, house plants, Bob Geldof, duct tape, Buzzcocks, poet shirts, Marc Almond, Al Gore, acrylic paints, Snoopy's dog house, an original andy warhol painting, zippers, orange and pink matching curtains and bed spread, flash, oj simpson, a slurpee maker, some flutes, electric chairs, feather pillows, post it notes, the terminator wax statue, fight club the movie, fight club the book an original andy warhol painting, snoopy’s dog house, feather pillows, slurpee machine and house plants. 4512. Of the following things, which would you most like to have more of? drink, dreams, bed, drugs, lust, lies, hate, love, fear, fun, pain, flesh, stars, smiles, fame, sex bed, love, love, smiles, sex. 4513. Your preference. David Bowie or Marc Bolan? bowie. 4514. Who'd win in a fight, Morrissey or Robert Smith? idk either of them enough to choose. 4515. Earth girls are: what are earth girls? 4516. One of your friends tells you they are going to train to become a cop. your reaction? i’d be supportive and congratulate them. 4517. Would you ever consider working for the government? i would, they get really good benefits here. 4518. What are the best and wort television channels? i hardly watch tv. 4519. If you had a magicle pencil and everything you drew became real what would you draw? money!! 4520. Your boots were made for: walking. 4521. What movie would you like to see a mystery science theater episode about (even if it isn't a sci fi movie, just one that needs making fun of)? idk... 4522. What's the buzz? nothing. 4523. The last person you would want to be stranded on a desert island with is: someone i hate. 4524. Your partner takes an aeroplane trip. the plane disappears and is never found. How long do you wait for them to return before you begin looking for a new partner? i couldn’t put a time limit on it. i might not even move on, who knows. 4525. Soma animals that mate for life can literally die of grief if their mate is captured or dies. How many humans would do that do you think? it’s definitely possible for other humans to do this. 4526. What would you like to touch? the biggest diamond in the world. 4527. Does anything you own glow in the dark? nail polish. 4528. Would you rather ride a dragon or a unicorn? dragon. 4529. Do things just always go right for you? hell no. 4530. What's the best nick toon? hey arnold. 4531. Can you make a balloon animal? nope :( 4532. Would you undress at a nude beach? no. 4533. Wherever there's a secret recipe, there is someone who wants to steal it. True or false? i guess that’s the allure of calling it a secret recipe. 4534. What is today but yesterday's tommorrow? the present. 4535. Are you more like spongebob who does nothing right but still everything good happens to or like squidworth who tries to do things right and ends up having nothing good happen to him? squidworth. 4536. How many glasses of water do you drink each day? aiming for the usual 8. 4537. What is the difference between intelectualism and pretentiosness? being pretentious obviously just means you think you’re better/smarter than the people you’re with. 4538. What do you like in a poem, accessability, crypticness or somethin in between? i hate poems. 4539. What do you think of William Blake? Is his writing difficult to understand? never read his stuff. 4540. Has learning to spell become obsolete? not at all. but in this survey, yes omg... 4541. Who do you find yourself in constant conflict with? Why the conflict? me. 4542. What is the difference between literature and hallmark cards? everything lol. 4543. How many contemporary poets can you name? none. 4544. What subjects do you refuse to talk about? Why are you hiding from them? i’m open to talking about anything as long as it’s with the right people. 4545. Are you every parent's wet dream? ew, no. 4546. Everyone starts in the garden of Eden but no one can stay there. Why not? idk. 4547. Would you want to join a club that would have you as a member? sure. 4548. Greatest black and white film: i haven’t watched many in my time tbh. 4549: Greatest film three hours or longer: titanic, duhhhh. 4550. No means.. no. 4551. When you are exposed to the artwork (poetry, painting etc) of a friend, family member or aquantance how likly are you to criticize it? if i know them well i’d give them constructive criticism. i don’t think i’d bash the work of someone i didn’t know. 4552. Do you mentally reject people? Before speaking to them? some days i just check out i guess. 4553. Are we already living out 1984? no. 4554. Sing, now!  What did you sing? Can you sing? Are you the next american idol? no, no, i’m not american. 4555. Do you like the feeling of a ball point pen being used to draw pictures on your palm? no lol. 4556. Have you ever been airbrushed? no. 4557. Are you an alitist? What are you elitist about? lol let’s not go there. 4558. Are you arrogant? About what? i’m arrogant towards arrogant people, does that count?  4558. Use the two following words in a sentance: ghandi, ford no. 4559. Are you trecherous? no. 4560. Nam the ten bands you are the biggest fan of: Name the ten bands who are your biggest fans: no. 4561. Are you jolly? not really. 4562. What does the world stop for? nothing. anything could happen and in some places it’ll just be business as usual. 4563. Would you like to reapolster your furniture in camoflauge? no thanks. 4564. Would you rather have your own personal live in massuse or a new car? personal live in masseuse that also cooks haha. 4565. What were you born holding? nothing. 4566. Big nose, is it ugly or does it give the face character? depends if it works with the other features of the face. 4567. Name three things you would NOT do, even for one million dollars (tax free): 1 kill a human, 2 eat a human. 3 kill someone’s pet 4568. Who has rejected you? Who have you rejected? certain jobs. 4569. Natural body odor or perfumes and colognes? perfumes and colognes! 4570. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ss. 4571. Who frolics in the autumn mist in a land called honalee? lol. 4572. Is anything nastier as a snack than fruit roll ups? shit i guess. 4573. When you hear someone make a joke about something will you later make the same joke to someone else as if you had just thought it up? my boyfriend always does this lol. i hardly ever do it, i’m pretty forgetful. What if someone just says something intelligent, would you use what they said later as if you had made it up? no, if i repeat this i’ll always the credit the person that told me. 4574. What's on your pajamas? plain colours. 4575. Are people nicer in new york or california? i’m guessing california. 4576. Ever think about moving to Alaska to live as a hermit? i’d love to do it temporarily. 4577. You are interested in a potential mate who is already attatched. Do you encourage him or her to leave their current catch or try to find someone all alone? no way. i’d never try and break up a couple. 4578. Do you play in the snow? haven’t done so in about ten years. 4579. Do you save a snowball in your freezer to hit someone with in the summer time? no lol. ouch. 4580. What bible storiy would you like to see acted out by animated veggetables? What vegetable would play jesus? idk. 4581. Will you be ready for the next alien attack? the next? has there already been one? 4582. You can't make this easy can you? nope. 4583. What is a small thing that people let slide but that actually has dire consequenses? cheating. 4584. Are you the open window maniac? no? 4585. Have you ever been a hall monitor?  What exactly do hall monitors do anyway? nope, never had one in my school either. 4586. Would you rather wear an army uniform or a cow costume for halloween? cow lol. 4587. When was the last timeyou played tag, musical chairs, hide and seek etc? as a kid. 4588. Can you leap frog? i haven’t tried in years. maybe! 4589. What was the lost strong and clear emotion yo felt? idk... 4590. Are you more of a disco ball, a candle or a robot? candle. 4591. Could any good come out of a nuclear holocaust? i’m not the right person to ask. 4592. Are you an angel in disguise? no, i wish. 4593. Could you have fun with ajelly fish? for 12 hours? no thanks. 4594. Who throws the wildest parties? it used to be this one guy i know. and then we all grew up. 4595. Do you own an I <3 NY shirt? yes. 4596. If you could make a channel that played only one show all day what show would it be? the office. or the simpsons. anything with a ton of episodes and is funny. 4597. Are you a rockstar only no one knows it yet? no. 4598. have you ever been stung by anything?��What? nope. 4599. Who's autograph have you gotten in the last year? no one. i feel like selfies with celebrities are more popular now than autographs. 4600. Are you enjoying this? no.