#everyone is so keen all the time to affirm that the others are Doing Gender Properly

[sinni-ok-sessi]

love that Quincey Morris' speech is continually described as 'laconic' when in fact he's just said a normal sentence, but because no one else can say anything without invoking three separate metaphors and an entreaty to a higher power, they're all like, 'wow, this guy is so silent and stoic'

[aritakahashi]

Raiden Headcanons

⊹˚. ♡˖This post will include mixed headcanons of both Raiden himself and what he’s like in a relationship!

♡ Word Count: 1.501

♡ Warnings: None!

(This is fully gender neutral on reader’s side!)

- He’s a shy guy, he probably confessed to you as red as a tomato and stuttering as if he’s about to go into cardiac arrest.

- He’s very interested in nature. He loves birds and squirrels. Probably has a dozen encyclopedias in his place about various animals, earth and space.

- Absolutely loves lofi/indie/indie folk music. Usually listens to whatever calms his mind, not so keen to rock/metal/pop music but he likes to listen to late 2000s / early 2010s hits because of Kung Lao and Johnny.

- Plant dad. He has lots of plants, flowers and vegetables in his garden and in the house. He likes taking care of them, and spends a lot of time to make sure every one of them is healthy.

- Loves both dogs and cats, so he’s neither a dog or a cat person. He would love to adopt one each, if not more. Knowing his love for animals, he would always leave a big bowl of water and food outside his garden so strays can drink and eat; regularly checks it so he can fill them up when they’re empty. Definitely has a bird feeder somewhere.

- His love languages are words of affirmation and acts of service. He will shower you with compliments, always support your decisions (unless they’re concerning) and he will do his best helping you with all the work. He will help you with chores, running errands, cooking, baking, even your own work if he has an idea of what it is. He loves giving gifts as well but he makes sure it’s either handmade or something he thinks you would really like.

- He has a super calm personality. He’s a pacifist, he sees fight as the absolute last option in a situation.

- He’s a stay at home guy, not really keen on social stuff but he’ll have a great time with you and friends if you come up with outside activities.

- Crowds aren’t generally his thing, but he will find calmness in watching people when he’s sitting somewhere having his tea. It brings him peace to know everyone has their own lives just like he does. It makes him feel more alive.

- When he takes you out on dates, it’s usually coffee dates or a small street food place that makes good food. He’s not a fan of extravagant stuff, so he keeps it as minimal as he can.

- He doesn’t drink, and he doesn’t smoke. This doesn’t mean he won’t drink at all though; he will drink 1-2 bottles of beer occasionally in social settings, but that’s about it. Since he barely drinks, he’s quite lightweight and will get drunk easily.

- He’s a touchy one, but not in the inappropriate way. He loves holding you, hugging you, kissing your head, nose and forehead. He likes to kiss your forehead the most.

- He loves reading interesting facts about our world. His Instagram reels are full of zoology, geology etc. kind of nerdy posts. When he watches tv, it’s usually documentary channels. He doesn’t like following the news because there’s usually sad or stressful things.

- Very positive person, he will look at everything on the brightest side possible.

- His sister would love you and you’d frequently have girl nights together, sometimes even pull pranks on Raiden if you’re feeling mischievous enough.

- You’re both his partner in life and his best friend (along with Kung Lao, CAN’T erase him from this part). He will share EVERYTHING with you, and will be really happy every time you do the same.

- Very easy to communicate. No arguments happen in the relationship because you two handle it like two grown adults by communicating your feelings and understanding each other. He has very high empathy, and will do his best to get your point if there’s a disagreement.

- He gets cold easily, so he will wear the fluffiest and warmest sweaters during winter. You will find him wrapped around blankets while he’s watching TV, with hot chocolate or tea in his mug.

- He likes playing board and card games, his favorites are the ones that you need to use your thinking skills.

- When he watches TV series, he will resort to sitcoms more than fantasy, drama etc, he thinks he already has enough fantasy elements in his life thanks to Liu Kang and being an Earthrealm Champion. He also loves animation movies; especially classics like Ice Age, Kung Fu Panda and Shrek.

- His favorite Disney princess is probably Mulan.

- He prefers village life over city life.

- He has a light blue pickup truck and it’s still in perfect condition despite being very old.

- He loves thrifting and will often go thrift shopping with you.

- He has a big library in the house filled with informative and literary books.

- Loves buying small decorations for the house. I believe he’d keep it more minimal with warm colors, and it’d feel very cozy inside.

- He works out in the house once in a while, but farming is usually enough physical activity for him.

- He will meditate regularly.

- He loves all the traditional Chinese food. Wonton soup makes him feel all warm and happy, and he’s obsessed with Kung Pao chicken.

- He’s interested in every mythology, but his favorites are Egyptian and Greek mythologies because they’re very complex and he can be occupied reading them and thinking over them for hours.

- He loves word puzzle games.

- He adores every traditional festival and will drag you with him and Kung Lao. His favorites are Chinese New Year and Mid Autumn Festival; he loves eating as many moon cakes as he can during Mid Autumn. He also loves seeing you in traditional Chinese clothing when you go to the festivals with them.

- He’s not a big fan of anime, but will watch them with Kung Lao and then complain about some nonsense, making Kung Lao side eye him and say “shut up, your sitcoms are way worse than this.”

- His YouTube recommendations consists of animal/nature/space documentaries, mythology and philosophy along with funny animal videos.

- (Very self indulgent) if you watch true crime documentaries, it makes him worry about your mental health sometimes, but you reassure him that everything is fine.

- Hates big lights, loves dim lighting. He will only keep smaller lamps on in the house. He thinks it’s more calming and easy on the eyes.

- He will frequently light candles and use incense. He might even use sage to help fight off negative energies once in a while; he’s a believer in spirits and such things like that.

- Very helpful towards everyone around him even when he doesn’t necessarily know the person. He will offer his help to anyone struggling with a task, will always help old ladies and grandpas with carrying their stuff around the village.

- He writes poems sometimes, but no one knows about them except you.

- He doesn’t know a lot about computers and phones, so if he struggles in something he will ask you instead of trying to handle it himself.

- He’s very interested in nature photography. He will never miss a chance of snapping a good scenery photo.

- He’s better at cooking than he is at baking. He once burnt a pie and mourned it for 3 days because he spent so much time on it.

- He can sew and crochet. If you have any damaged clothing, he will fix them up right away.

- Never wastes food. If you are picky, he will eat what you don’t off your plate even if he’s full.

- Loves preparing you breakfast and sometimes does it while you’re asleep, bringing it to you to the bed with flowers he picked off the garden.

- He can sing well, but is insecure about it despite your encouragement.

- He once tried skating after Kung Lao gaslit him, and he almost cracked his butt after falling.

- He loves bicycle rides. He will go on rides every day usually during evening, and will watch the sunset in somewhere nice before going back home.

- Hiking is a good hobby for him. He loves taking walks in forests and he likes camping a lot. He will bring you with him when he goes camping and hiking, sometimes Kung Lao will join. You guys sit around the bonfire as you eat marshmallows on sticks and Kung Lao babbles scary stories, trying to creep you out.

- Fengjian Teahouse is his favorite place to spend time when he’s in the village. Everyone knows and adores him.

- He would listen to your chatter about anything for hours. Your hyperfixations are entertaining for him and he will try to learn as much as he can so he can join the conversation because he knows you appreciate it a lot.

⊹˚. ♡˖ Hope you enjoyed!

[ask-the-clergy-bc]

transmasc ask anon!! masculine terms and help with gender affirmation :'))

Thank you for your patience for waiting, Anon! I hope you enjoy this!

and BIG Thank you to my proof reader for helping me with this!! <3 <3

Papas helping their Transmasc Partner with Period pains

Note: I know this is a rather personal subject for each individual, so I tried to keep every response varied from Papa to Papa. I know not everyone shares the same type of preferences, and what works for one person might not work for the other. Please enjoy as I tried to keep it different to suit a few different scenarios and situations! As always, feedback is always super appreciated! :) 

Also trigger warning for references to gender dysphoria and general period talk! 

Papa Nihil: One would describe Nihil as a partner as well meaning but sometimes rather daft. Typically not out of maliciousness, but usually from his own lack of understanding. But what Nihil does know is that he cares about you and hates seeing you not feeling well. Especially this time of the month when it can be the worst physically and emotionally. One day he casually just asks why don’t you just stop your period. If you hate experiencing it and hate the way it makes you feel less masculine… why not stop it? You, understandably, stare at him for the over simplified suggestion. The only thing preventing you from being upset was the sheer genuineness of the question. But before you answer Nihil continues on about how several members of the high ministry use the Clergy’s stupidly good medical coverage to help. “Do you know how many men here stopped their periods? Why not you too, Caro? We use MY doctors!” This is how you found yourself sitting with one of the premiere doctors employed by the ministry to talk about all of your hormone and physical options. Nihil is there with you excited that you were getting steps to transitio

Papa I: If anyone in the ministry is equipped to help you, outside of healer ghouls, it’s definitely Papa. Forget the pills you were going to take, the man has an entire APOTHECARY in your kitchen! Papa is more prepared for your symptoms than YOU are sometimes. He’s the first one by your side with a homemade brew and herbal paste. Anything to kill the pain before it starts. Something you noticed, too, is that during these times Papa tries to be very keen on your mood. He knows sometimes this time of the month just has you very down on yourself. Papa recognizes there is only so much he can do and say as a supportive partner. So there is no shame in asking someone else with more experience to help. Papa one day asks if you’d like to talk to someone who has gone through the same thing you are going through right now. When you say yes you are surprised to find yourself in the office of Papa IV! Who happily is there for any advice or just venting about your shared experiences. You end up making a good friend out of Papa IV, while still being pampered by your attentive partner!   

Papa II: Papa would never admit he’s always ill equipped to help you when you’re sick or in pain. He loves you dearly, but his first instinct is to bark at the medical staff to assist. It’s his way of caring. However, he does know one thing about that type of cramping; and that it can be helped with EXERCISE! And unfortunately for you, he LOVES exercise. Imagine your surprise when you waddled out of bed exhausted and grumpy to find a brand new jogging suit and sneakers laid out for you… you didn’t even know Versace MADE work out gear. “Caro, we are going to the gym.” You stared at him at first in disbelief. You felt like shit and he wanted to WORK OUT? But you had to give in when he insisted and the light exercise made you feel much better! It started with walks, light aerobics, and even Yoga (which Papa was rubbish at but INSISTED on joining you in). At first, this was just a monthly routine that REALLY helped cut down the pain… but you both found yourselves doing more and more. Not just during your times you were in pain, but just going when you both felt like it! Suddenly you were a master at easing your cramps and even started feeling more confident in the way you moved in general! The next thing you know you’re Papa’s favorite boxing buddy and you both couldn’t be happier! 

Papa III: Papa always knows when you’re dealing with cramps. He’s a firm believer that laughter and love are the best medicines! You know the same joke is coming whenever he comes home and sees you on the first day of your cycle. Papa always looks at your slumped form on the couch and yells the same thing he always does. “CARO MIO! MY LOVE! What’s wrong with your handsome face?? Did you hurt yourself falling for me again??” It never gets old! From the beginning, Papa has always been attuned to your needs. His primary focus was always finding ways to make you more comfortable and getting you out of pain. Papa looks for ways to make your cycle a little more bearable and light hearted. No one wants to be in pain for a week! You’ve come to find he likes to bring humor to the situation to help you both be less irritable and know that you are in a safe and comfortable place. He’s happy to get you some pain killers and joke about how the best medicine is cuddling him- charming eyebrow wiggles and all. Papa always feels powerless any time you are hurt or sick, so to him laughter and smiles are the best medicine. That, and sometimes matters don’t always HAVE to be serious. You’ve appreciated that as sometimes you just don’t want things to be a big fucking deal.   

Papa IV/Cardinal Copia: If anyone has your back about this, it’s your loveable dork Copia. Because he had been dealing with those same problems FOR DECADES! Granted, he hasn’t had one for a while but he sure as Hell can help! Copia knows all the tricks from before his cycles stopped, and has been a bottomless well of knowledge and support for you! Most of his knowledge has helped you find the right products to get through your cycle without too much mental stress. Before dating him, you didn’t even KNOW you could use a packer to hide a pad! Copia hooks you up with everything you need! Whether it’s advice on keeping your chest comfortable during peak tenderness, the best comfy clothes so you can keep working, or just the best over the counter remedies for pain. He’s your guide and helper through it all! You’re delighted to know everything he recommends works! What’s even better? He’s always there to be as loving or to give you as much space as you need. Copia will even insist that the best cure for pain and hormones is PASTA! Will make you so much! 

[musicallisto]

Hii! Congrats for your 1.5 followers, I’d love to join your celebration event! Could I request a 🐚 for the Grishaverse? <3

my pronouns are she/her and I’m asexual biromantic (so any gender is fine). I’m an ESFJ and a Gemini. I have green eyes and brown hair, I have a mullet with blue strands. I dress with vintage/fairy grunge clothes. Long skirts and corsets are my fav type of outfit I wear lots of rings and nekclaces and love to exchange them with others.

I’m the mom friend of the group, always there for everyone and my friends say that I’m really good at comforting people. I’m also calm and responsible, I usually am the one that takes care of other people. I’m very optimistic, I always try to see the good in everything and I often put other’s needs before my own. I love making others laugh to lighten the situation. I’m not afraid to stand up for myself or for someone else but sometimes it’s hard for me to say no to things. I also dislike when someone is too serious and really can’t take a joke as I tend to use humor as my coping mechanism. All my friends tell me I’m very smart, I get very good grades and I do well in school. I also try to help my friends with study and school as much as possible.

My love languages are, receiving, physical touch and words of affirmation and giving, quality time and words of affirmation.

I absolutely love listening to music, it helps me relax and I really like reading. I also love watching horror movies even though it’s impossible to scare me. I also play Dungeons and Dragons with my friends anytime I can. also, I absolutely love musicals and I’m definitely a theatre kid.

I really hope I did this right, have a great day and congrats again for your milestone! :)

ohh I think you would pair exceptionally well with someone who is very dear to me... the one and only nina zenik.

oh, so you like recieving words of affirmation and physical touch, you say? well get ready, because nina will shower you with compliments until you quite literally don't know what to do with yourself, or what corner of ravka to hide.

she's so generous with her praise, and though it comes out in a teasing way, too, you can tell it's different when it's directed at you, like her pride is shining through the words.

"you're doing such a good job at killing the bad guys, maybe we'll make an actual ravkan soldier out of you yet?"

and of course, physical touch is paramount for nina, especially as a heartrender. she loves skin to skin contact, whether it be tracing abstract patterns on your wrist or involuntarily drumming her fingers to the racing beat of your heart on your thigh.

and when you get scared, or anxious, your hand always finds hers, and it's like your entire being melts. whether that's simply from the natural warmth of her touch or her grisha powers, you're not too sure, and you aren't too keen on figuring out either.

she'll happily sing any musical you want with you!! yes, of course there are musicals in the grishaverse, how else would we get people like jesper epitome of theater kid fahey otherwise? now, we all know nina's prowesses in singing are... doubtful at best, and no one knows this better than the crows, but you don't mind. her enthusiasm is key, and she gives you great feedback when it comes to the acting and emotion!

she'll even mock cry when you hit a particularly challenging high note, or breeze through a difficult run, and then will pull you into her arms for a loving peck.

"you're my little singing bird, you know that?"

she'll absolutely try to scare you by every means possible, never discouraged by the fact she oftentimes ends up scaring the other crows instead. kaz HATES this (because he's the one who's always startled from nina's antics, and he has reputation to uphold!).

don't worry about her being too serious or not taking your jokes well—sometimes it's you who has to pull her back into line because she's being silly. but at least it means there's never a dull moment when you share a life with her <3

[starshipsofstarlord]

Drop off Point | SPN Brothers

Warnings; language, anger, arguing

There was no place like home, but the thing was, that you didn’t have one. Each day, you went from motel room to motel room, sometimes you would even sleep in the back of the impala, whist your brothers sat in the front, somehow gaining rest in those uncomfortable, upright positions.

Dad was gone, and left you primarily in Dean’s custody, and with having Sam back, he managed to get your brother to cut you some slack. Dean was a wreck without John, he was desperate to discover your father’s whereabouts, and his decisions made you feel as though you were not as desperate to find where he had gone.

Being a Winchester came with plenty of perks, you got to see so many places in a short span of time, it made it feel as though the world was underneath your fingertip. However, having the attributes of being a teenager, and a girl, didn’t mix well with your suggestions or desires to hunt for the parent that had raised you.

And that left you here, cruising in the backseat of Dean’s beloved vehicle, taking the turns to reach Bobby’s. The elder of your brother had said he needed to stock up on supplies, such as dead man’s blood and so on, in case he picked up on any monsters on his journey.

But the travel was not just his, you and Sam were there too. He had even gone to nab Samuel from his escape, and drag him into the putridness of this life once more, all for the man that spawned you all.

“Hey kid.” Bobby stepped down from his porch, his shoes crinkling upon the gravel. He greeted the boys with hugs, and a set smile occupied his face as he looked at you, it almost screamed relief. “I got everything you boys need, come on.”

The lot of you trailed after the elder hunter, who adjusted his baseball cap as he escorted the three of you into the main room, the devil’s trap brandishing the floor, and scurried piles of books taking up the rest of the space.

“Cool, you got the good stuff.” Dean clapped his hands together as he dug through the small arsenal, dragging out a small blade.

“That there was smelted with dead man’s blood, it’ll murder those suckers straight away.” Bobby spoke, watching as Dean pocketed some items. Sam dropped a bag on the floor, a guilty, disobedient dog expression clouding his face.

It wasn’t any bag, it belonged to you. The satchel contained a few articles of clothing that were clean and a couple of books that you had nabbed from libraries that you had passed through. “Why’d you bring that in?” You asked suspiciously, having an inkling of a feeling as to the reason.

“Sorry.” Sam muttered, he had truly missed you whilst he had been away, and he hated the idea of being subdued into saying goodbye. But this wasn’t his complete choice, your other sibling had entirely taken control of the decision.

“You’re staying here (Y/N/N), at least until we find dad.” Dean admitted, coming to walk closer to you to strangle you in an embrace, however, you were keen to take a step back, denying his request.

“This is ridiculous.” You scoffed, face red from hurt and anger. He had no right to swerve you from the path that you were hellbent on, it was not up to him. “I want to go with you!”

Perhaps it was a peculiar ambition, but in this life, family was everything. It was the code that you had been raised to, and you’d be damned if you were to insult it by giving it nothing but disregard. If it were you that were missing, everyone would be searching, Dean would send everyone out to enquire and look, no matter their gender or age.

And just because you were his sister, he thought that he could put his foot down. It never changed, he was continuously overprotective, it felt as though you were consistently travelling in a cage, a child lock on in the back seats of Baby, rather than being giving a sense of free will. Instead there was no freedom, only constricting bars that kept you in the line of sight and knowledge of your brothers.

“Well too bad sweetheart, you’re staying put here under Bobby’s supervision.” He retorted sufficiently pressing the sole of his shoe upon the wooden flooring on this matter. Dean wised not to argue, but it was where his conspiring opinion ended up taking the pair of you, Bobby scratched his head agitatedly, understanding the reasons for Dean’s red anger, however it was inevitable that one day, you’d be old enough to make your own decisions, and no doubt you would go head first into these dangerous situations. It was how he could tell how related you were to your brothers, even if you had a different mother from the infamous sons of John Winchester.

“Screw you Dean! You’re supposed to be the one looking after me, and here you are, loading me off to someone else. I hate you so much right now.” The words couldn’t be restrained, they tumbled out, and currently you couldn’t care less. Anger was taking the driver’s seat, and it was veering into a crash, one that Sam could see without his ‘psychic’ abilities.

“Don’t say that (Y/N).” Another order, how Dean like. It was such a typical trait that he reverberated from his chest, as though he was constantly the one in charge. The way he bossed people about was far too familiar, and it repulsed you. He was acting as another man in your life, the one that dragged the lot of you around like dogs, pulling on the leashes to keep you all in line.

“You’re not dad, so stop trying to be him!” Dean could only freeze upon receiving your words, as you heavily breathed, wound up from the spitting of conflicting interests. Another instant spewing of hurtful comments were attempting to be catapulted from the void of your mouth, but Sam hissed as he came to stand in front of you, clearly disappointed in your behaviour.

“You know (Y/N), I told Dean that he should give you a chance, although you deserve a life better than we got. Not because it could raise our chances and hopes of finding dad, but because it was what you wanted. But I’ve changed my mind, and I think you should stay here a while, until you are grown up enough to be on the road with us.”

His scolding made you bow your head down, almost ashamed of yourself, before you glanced at the trio of men in the room one last time, grabbing your man and escalating upstairs to a spare room. Sam gulped, knowing that he had silenced the poison in the blood you all shared, however he could only hope that you would understand why he was so inclined to get involved.

It caused him pain, knowing that you, his baby sister wanted to be neck deep in this chaotic life, when he had wanted out. The logic of it didn’t feel right, it only showed as evidence that you too had been brought up loved, yet in a toxic childhood. The inclination, the loyalty you had for fighting was a flaw, it was not something that hunters wanted to do, but instead rather something that they had to.

Sam sighed as he put the phone down in his lap, Dean was in the driver’s seat, his jaw clenched. “No answer?” He asked expectedly, to which the eldest received an affirmative nod. It was frustrating to know that this all uprose from them wanting to keep her safe.

“Bobby said that she’s okay.” Sam spoke in the music of the air con. “She’s actually getting pretty good at combat, hell it’s been six months. Her head is on straight, she knows that she’s good at what she’s doing. But-“

“She still refuses to speak to us.” Dean completed his sentence, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter. His knuckles grew white from the pressure he held onto the remote with, his tongue clicking as he pushed away the guilt. That was only permitted recognition when he was alone, he’d never admit to anyone that he may have made a bad decision, all because his sister was alive and breathing, (Y/N) was okay, even if she refused contact with them.

“We should see her Dean.” Sam stated. He had wanted to for so long, he hated how absent the backseat was, and how there seemed to be a lack of the scent of female deodorant.

“Next stop, Bobby’s.”

[qvid-pro-qvo]

“You got me, and I’m not so bad, right?” With Barba???🥺🥺

rafael barba x gender neutral reader. 

word count: 1287

rating: e for everyone, with feelings of homesickness that can make the holidays so tough for so many and love that overcomes it (tw: descriptions of seasonal depression). 

-

The holidays don’t usually have you feeling so… melancholy.

You don’t know what it is at first. Why your energy is so low, why the sight of fall colors and the implication of an upcoming white Christmas make you sour. So when you get the usual questions from the squad, you don’t know how to answer, ending up with various versions of “I’m fine” or “I’ll be okay.”

They don’t believe you. And that’s fine, that’s okay, but you really prefer the days where they just drop it.

Rafael doesn’t let up, either. He’s got a keen sense of when you’re off, and the last few weeks have surely felt like sirens and lights flashing. Letting him know that you’re not doing your best. His attempts to heal your hurting heart get brushed off, but only because Rafael Barba is a fixer, and as far as you know there are no problems to fix. You’re just… tired.

But one day, it hits you. You’ve called your mom three times that day, trying to return a missed call from the weekend, and when you finally hear your voice it almost brings you to tears.

“Sweetheart,” she asks, “what’s wrong?”

You scramble an answer or two. “Just some rough cases,” you assure her, “but I’ll be fine.”

But like a mother, she sniffs it out in a moment. Her little hum is soft, and when she speaks again it’s like she’s pulling at your heartstrings.

“We miss you, too, you know that, right?”

Moving to Manhattan had been a leap of faith, basically a dare from your brothers and a point of concern from your parents. More danger, more crime, more everything. But to make it where you wanted to make it, to feel like you’d done what you could to help those who needed a Special Victims Unit, it was the place to be.

And this year… while it’s not the first Christmas away, perhaps it hits you that it’s definitely not the last. You’re not lonely, but you feel alone.

When you get home, it’s to face another person asking questions, the second head of the dual assault to make you feel better. Of course, Rafael Barba’s affections are often shown in private, but it doesn’t change the fact that when you come through the door, eyes a little red, he’s ready.

There’s food on the kitchen counter. Takeout, from your favorite spot. Your special candle, one saved for emergencies, burning on the coffee table. The warmth of pine fills your whole place, and that little piece of home is enough to stop you in your tracks. There’s strawberries ready for eating, chocolate ready for dipping. It’s not elaborate, and maybe the meal isn’t homemade, but Rafael did it for you.

He’s there. Waiting. Before you entered, he’d been on the couch, reclining, a book open across his lap, one arm draped across the back. But when he sees you, the book is closed. His hands move to set it aside, and he’s lifting, easily, no problem at all, taking steps across the apartment until he’s standing in front of you to grab your bag.

“How’d you know?” you ask him, and he shrugs when he takes your coat, a little laugh.

“Liv isn’t afraid to give me an assist.”

The rest of the night is nothing that you deserve, but it’s perfect all the same. He puts down the work, and you get to lean into him, first when you sit to eat and the two chairs are pulled next to each other, and again on the couch, drinks in hand.

“I didn’t think… now would be the hardest part of moving,” you admit, after an episode of something mindless finishes. He reaches for the remote, pauses the playback, and waits for you to continue.

“Just. Now. Two years after. I should be settled, I should be… I should be happy. I love my job, I have friends, and an… incredible boyfriend –“

“Incredible,” he affirms, nodding, and you look up to shoot him a playful glare.

“Incredible.” When you settle back, though, your jaw clenches, and you reach a finger to play with the rim of your glass. “But even with all that, I – I just feel it. I feel it a lot. And when my mom called today… it just reminded me how much I miss… miss them. I got so much when I came to Manhattan, but right now, I – I just want to see her again.”

Rafael’s hand is stroking your shoulder, up and down. It’s steady, gentle, and you try to blink back what threatens to fall.

“You know, home for me used to be an apartment in the Bronx,” he finally says. It breaks the quiet, makes you turn to him. “And… my first few years away, supposedly at the best time of my life, I – I missed nothing else more that just being home.” He pauses, but you’re enraptured, eyes on his.

“It’s okay, to miss home. To miss what you had, even when you have things here. We care about you, all of us, and… don’t think that missing home now makes me assume that you don’t care about me, too.”

He reaches out to cup your cheek. The couch is soft beneath you, and when you glance up, lean into the touch, he’s quick to pull you that much closer. His arms wrap around you, and the two of you settle into a familiar position. You’re on his lap, straddling him, and he’s bringing your head down to kiss your forehead.

“And, well, there’s one thing you got when you moved to Manhattan, something that’s not going… anywhere. Not now, and… if I can help it, not ever.” Rafael whispers. He has to clear his throat, but he pushes through, with a kiss on your head, against your temple. “You got me.”

His voice is hesitant, almost unsure. As if the thought of having him isn’t worth your time. As if, when weighed against the struggles of your world, the feeling of being so far from home, it was paltry.

The implication, that’s what makes you chuckle. A little watery, and you turn to look at him, biting your lower lip. It doesn’t fix it, the whole in your heart, but it fills it. Just a little.

“… and I’m not so bad, right?” he finishes, even more uncertain, but that is easily rectified, with your fingers reaching for his, holding them tight in your grip. You lift the fingers to your mouth, pressing kisses against each knuckle, before laying a final peck on his palm, too.

“I’ve got you.” Your voice feels strong, for the first time all day. You lean forward to kiss his shoulder, lips rubbing against the Oxford’s fabric. You do it again, this time on his neck, right where his collar digs into his skin. One more time, on his jaw, before you even dare to look at him again. “That’s all I could ask for, right now.”

Your voice seems to bring him up to speed. He smiles down at you, that little twist of his lips, the sideways smirk that stretches into a smile. You kiss him, really kiss him this time, and his hands move to curl into your shirt, pull you down against him.

But of course, you can’t help it. When you pull back, it’s with a raised brow, a smirk of your own. “Of course, in the mornings, you’re kind of the worst.”

The affront is clear.

“The worst?”

You just shrug, letting your fingers move to catch on his buttons. “With the data I’ve collected, I can say with one hundred percent certainty. No one else has perfected blanket stealing at 3:00 AM better than you.”

His offense softens, and he rolls his eyes with verve. “Uh-huh.”

“Or the drink coffee first, ask questions later philosophy.”

“Right.”

“Or the –“

When you stop talking, it’s because he’s kissing you again.

“You’ve got me,” he repeats, at the finish of a incredibly grueling day. When blankets have yet to be stolen and the clock is telling you it’s time for bed. You smile at him, and stand from his lap, reaching for his hand to pull him beneath the aforementioned blankets.

“And I’m so, so lucky.”

[nicnacsnonsense]

Been thinking about my hypothetical live action remake of Korra (seriously Netflix, call me, I have so many amazing ideas) and how I would tackle season two since it’s definitely the season that needs the most work, specifically and especially the Unalaq & Raava-Vaatu plotline. I kind of got carried away, like I do, but I’m very excited about it; a lot of good strong themes here. I’m going to start by talking about the changes to the first half, pre-Beginnings interlude, then the Beginnings episodes, then the back half. For the most part, all of the major plot beats still stay the same, at least until the climax, but the way those beats are contextualized are going to get pretty different building up to a radically different climax (no spirit being kaiju fight, yay!).

With Unalaq in the front half, the one major change is I want the religious fundamentalism vibes that come on so strong when he’s introduced to ramp up after the Northern Tribe soldiers show up and especially after Korra finally realizes he’s a bad guy, rather than petering out like happens in canon. I want to actually see him impose strict expectations of behavior in accordance with what he feels honors the spirits on the people of Southern Water Tribe. Let’s get some misogyny and restrictive gender roles up in here. That’s going to be great (from a storytelling perspective, obviously) because it’s relatively low-hanging fruit to communicate that the bad guy is bad, it fits in well thematically with where we’re going and the religious fundamentalism, and there is canon precedent in The Last Airbender that restrictive gender roles are a traditional value in the Northern Water Tribe.

A quick sidebar related to themes, in whatever episode where we first have Unalaq really cracking down on those gender roles, I want a B or possibly C plot with the Tenzin family vacation, where Jinora comes out to Tenzin as nonbinary. She is questioning with regards to the exact nature of her gender, but does say its some combination of both masculine and feminine, though other nonbinary identities – including agender, genderfluid, and a gender that is completely divorced from male-female – are floated. Tenzin is supportive and affirming and also suggests Jinora talk with her Aunt Kya, who he identifies as being a transwoman. (Kya is a trans lesbian in my version; you gotta deal with it.) This obviously serves to contrast Unalaq with his strict gender roles, and continues to build our theme.

For Korra in the first half, I do want to drag her emotional volatility down just a tad as compared to where she’s at in canon for these episodes. I still want her getting emotional and acting rash – that’s a huge part of her character – but I want her anger to feel sympathetic to the audience. Though I do also want at least one moment where Korra gets angry for good reason and starts yelling at Unalaq and he chides her for being emotional and irrational and he’s not going to discuss this with her if she can’t behave calmly and logically, blah, blah, blah, misogyny.

The final and biggest change that we’re making in the first half is Korra does not yet have her bending back. Season one does still end with her talking with Aang and learning energybending, which she uses to restore everyone else’s bending and restore her own connection to the other three elements, but in the opening episode of season two, we learn that she still can only airbend. She says that as far as she can tell everything should be alright and she should be able to bend fire, water, and earth, but obviously she can’t. She also mentioned that while it looks like it should, she feels like there is something missing, or maybe something there that she can’t see. Which my clever readers of course realize is a reference to Raava. After her flashback coma, Korra gains the other elements back, explaining that what she was missing was her connection to Raava had been damaged. Not broken, which is why she could still airbend and do all the other Avatar stuff she was doing, but damaged enough that Raava could no longer switch elements for her or give her access to multiple elements at once.

Moving on to Beginnings, right off the bat, I’m getting rid of the notion that all humans have to huddle on the backs of lion turtles out of fear of the spirits. The two worlds are connected, but humans and spirits co-exist peacefully for the most part. The lion turtles instead act as mediators when necessary, and do sometimes give out bending for humans to defend themselves with, but not as a regular thing every time they need to leave their city. We’ll have to switch up the stealing fire and Chin plot a little to accommodate this change, but somehow or other it happens and Wan gets banished with firebending.

Eventually he comes across Raava and Vaatu fighting and these two characters are getting some major shake ups. First off, in canon Raava identifies as being peace to counter Vaatu’s chaos, but peace is not the opposite of chaos; order is. Now, looking into yin & yang, chaos & order are not aspects that traditionally apply to them, but we’re going to let that addition of order to yang and light and chaos to yin and dark stand. Not everything has to be perfectly aligned. That said, one way in which we are going to switch things to make them fit better is yang is the masculine energy with yin as feminine. We’re switching the voices.

So Wan sees them fighting, and Vaatu calls out for help. And Wan is like, oh no, a damsel in distress; I’ll help you, milady! So, he helps, giving Vaatu the advantage. She beats up Raava, then flies off. Raava chastises Wan, explaining that he is the spirit of light and order, and he has been trying since the beginning of time to defeat Vaatu, but their battles have always ended in a draw. But now Wan has given Vaatu the advantage and if they don’t fix this, she’ll be victorious at the upcoming Harmonic Convergence, sending the worlds into ten thousand years of darkness. To which Wan is like, oh no, that sounds horrible. Well, Mr. Masculine Manly Spirit-Man Raava, I like light and order and you seem like a logical rational person; I’ll for sure help you put that emotional crazy spirit lady in her place. (Have I made the irony here clear enough? I don’t think I can get much more blatant. Though obviously in the show version it would be a little more subtle.)

After that we get Raava & Wan’s training and learning the elements montage, with some encounters with “corrupted” spirits along the way. Corrupted being Raava’s word, and he elaborates to say that all spirits fall under either Raava or Vaatu’s domain, all with varying inherent levels of light & order and dark & chaos to them. Vaatu gaining in power is causing the levels of dark& chaos in these spirits to rise, throwing them out of balance. Eventually comes time for Harmonic Convergence, Raava & Wan vs. Vaatu, and Vaatu wins. Ten thousand years of chaos, baby. With the last of the spirit energy as Harmonic Convergence ends, Wan fuses with Raava, then unleashes a crazy, amazing spirit attack, imprisoning Vaatu, banishing all the spirits from the physical world to the spirit world, and sealing the portals, all as an attempt to mitigate the fall out from chaos ascendent. Since then, the Avatar, imbued with the spirit of order, has fought back against the chaos to try to restore balance to the world.

Korra wakes up and panics. They have to stop Unalaq who is trying to free Vaatu, probably because he wants to destroy the world or something. But when she next has a chance to confront Unalaq, he’s like, not you stupid girl. I’m not trying to destroy the world; I’m trying to save it. Wan was right to side with order, but wrong to think he could stop chaos by teaming up with Raava and destroying it from without. No chaos is inside all of us, the evil infesting every human heart (Unalaq’s words, not mine) and it can only be dominated through one’s own strong force of will and conviction. So his plan is to fuse with Vaatu and then dominate her, destroy her chaos and using her power to allow him to bring his order across all of existence, both in the physical and spirit worlds. Korra’s not too keen on that plan either. She’s still going to stop him.

Korra fails to stop him. Harmonic Convergence begins, Vaatu is freed, she goes inside of Unalaq, and she immediately subsumes him. Turns out you can’t eliminate all the chaos in the world just by willpower, you absolute looney toon. Vaatu explains that even as Unalaq was planning to use her, she was using him to get free and now is going to use him as a meat puppet to help her fight Raava & the Avatar.

So, they fight, and for a bit it’s evenly matched, then Vaatu gains the upper hand. Just as Vaatu appears she’s about to deal the finishing blow, Unalaq briefly regains control and interrupts her – to be clear, he manages this because of his desperate need for order and control, not out of any affection for Korra. While he’s in control he says something in defiance of Vaatu that coming from Unalaq we can hear is clearly some fascist bullshit, but also echoes something that Wan/Raava said back in their battle with Vaatu. And Korra’s like, wait, hold up a second.

Lightbulb turns on for Korra at that moment, and by the time Vaatu has resecure control, Korra has dropped her offensive stance. She tells Vaatu she doesn’t want to fight her; she wants her to fuse with her and Raava. Neither Vaatu nor Raava like this idea. Korra has to go on the defensive holding off Vaatu’s attacks, and has to internally fight against Raava wanting to attack Vaatu all while trying to sell them both on this idea. She explains that too much chaos has been bad for the world, but too much order would be bad too – case in point, Unalaq. Both chaos and order, both Raava and Vaatu are needed for balance. And yeah, they can achieve balance by constantly fighting each other, with every encounter ending as a draw, or they could achieve balance through harmony together. Because even as they are opposites, they are one and the same, a part of a greater whole. A bunch of stuff to that effect, including mentions of the Northern Water Tribe upsetting the balance by trying to dominate the Southern Water Tribe, and also a shout out to Tui and La in there somewhere, the original Yin/Yang Avatar couple. Eventually Korra convinces them, she fuses with Vaatu, and Harmonic Convergence ends in a tie, returning the world to balance once again.

And of course, now that balance has been achieved, Korra leaves the spirit portals open. Remember in this version spirits and humans got along fine, and the separation was only necessary because the world had fallen out of balance. And yes, the rejoining of the physical and spirit worlds was probably something Unalaq wanted too, but we’re not giving him credit for it, because for every good idea a fascist ever had, there’s someone else who isn’t a fascist who had the same idea, but better, because it wasn’t coming from a fascist.

[arcane-cosmetics]

Rating: T

Fandom: Critical Role (Campaign 2)

Relationship: Nott | Veth Brenatto/Caleb Widogast

Additional Tags: Caduceus mention, Beau mention, Fjord mention, Jester mention, Body Dysphoria, non-gender related body dysphoria, Blood, Accidental Kissing, Sharing a Bed, Boats and Ships, Guilt, Regret, Misunderstandings, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Character Study, Nott character study, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Unrequited Love, OR IS IT??, Some Nott spoilers, Nott | Veth Brenatto-centric

Summary: 

A sad, almost longing look crept its way across Nott’s features. Nostalgia and something else distracting her mind from her current distress for just a moment. She reached out and gently raked her fingers through his hair.

Caleb took a harsh intake of air as he was shocked out of sleep, stiffening under her touch. Seconds passed with a palpable tension. Guilt, shame and embarrassment darkened the color of Nott's face. This was exactly what she hoped to avoid.

Read it on AO3

Nott’s stomach was clenched tight and her heart was beating like a hummingbird’s wings.

The sea was choppy tonight. The bunks the party was given below deck of the newly dubbed Mistake were more like hammocks, three stacked on top of each other, a few feet separating them in each column. It would have been comfortable if it were not for the terrible rocking back and forth of the ocean waves making the cots swing with them. The movement made Nott woozy and constantly on edge.

Nott had no idea what time it was other than a general “late” she didn’t have Caleb’s keen mind after all. She was afraid to sleep. Every time she closed her eyes the roiling sea and splashing water made her mind flash with images of herself drowning. She opened her eyes with a gasp, not realizing she had been holding her breath. She was afraid to dream.

Normally when Nott had nightmares, Caleb would already be laying beside her, pulling her tighter into his warm chest and whispering soft affirmations of safety. Not tonight, though. Not since they’d been on board the ship. It was hard enough to fit one person into the small, barely held together pieces of fabric that were made to pass as beds. Exemplified by Beau who was on the top bunk of Nott’s row. Both of Beau’s arms and legs sprawled to the sides, keeping her precariously balanced, with the threat of crushing both Caleb and Nott beneath her at all times.

Nott ruminated on that thought for a moment. At least if Beau crushed her she’d probably go unconscious and be able to get some rest. She rolled her eyes and smiled, coming to the conclusion that would never happen. Beau would start to fall and do some sort of badass monk flip to land agilely away from any sleeping bodies. Psh, she could do that too.

It looked like it was going to be a sleepless night for Nott the Brave. She reached down, grabbing her flask, and took a big swig. She sighed, first with relief as the brown liquid burned down her throat and into her belly, and then with somber recognition, as it seemed not even booze would be enough to get her through the night this time.

Her eyes started wandering the dark room, which she could see perfectly thanks to her goblinoid darkvision. It didn’t look like there was much worth stealing down here. The crew that wasn’t part of the Nein seemed to not have a penny to their name. Her eyes finally came to a rest, landing on the bunk above her. She could see the outline of Caleb nestled in on himself and heard the soft sound of his breathing. She had half hoped he would be awake too.

Caleb deserved a good night's rest. The days had been long at sea, with more physical labor than any of them outside of Fjord had expected. The entire team was learning to help crew the ship, but it had been hardest on her Caleb. He wasn’t exactly the muscular type like Yasha or Jester. Nott had been absentmindedly fiddling with one of her many trinkets as she thought about how exhausted Caleb had looked after being taught how to unferal, tether, and then re-feral each of the Mistake’s sails. He had taken off his jacket in the heat, letting the rays hit his sun-deprived skin. He’d been sweating, and pieces of his hair had fallen loose in front of his face from the leather band usually tying them back. He looked disheveled and handsome as always.

She was shocked out of her reverie when a particularly large wave crashed into the boat. The Mistake learched to one side, sending Nott’s bauble flying across the floor before coming to a stop under Caduceus’s hammock as the ship righted itself.

Shit.

Across the floor, Nott pinpointed the glass bead that had betrayed her. She glowered down at it in an attempt to will it back to her. A frustrated huff—no luck. Nott was not about to let one of her prized collectibles roll away. She sat up in her hammock and dubiously attempted to reach a foot down to the floor. She was very stealthy, but no amount of dexterity was going to make it easy for her to get out of this bunk. Her short legs didn’t reach the ground, and shifting her weight to one side without her foot anchoring her to the floor made her dangerously unsteady as the ship continued its perpetual side to side movement.

With a deft leap, Nott landed on the unfinished wood floor. She bowed a little to an audience that wasn’t there in celebration of her perfect dismount before tip-toeing over to where her bead had disappeared below Caduceus. Nott crouched down on all fours and immediately located her precious. She had to crawl a little under the bunk before she was able to reach her bead, where it had gotten wedged in between two planks. She pulled it out easily and held it up, a wide smile growing across her face in triumph.

Of course, the sea chose that moment to pummel the ship with an even larger wave than the last, sending the Mistake carriening to the side once again. The nails on Nott’s free hand clawed into the soft wood. Her other hand clutched close to her chest, unwilling to part with her bead a second time. A high pitched yelp escaped Nott’s lips before she quickly released her grip on the floor to slap her hand over her mouth. Her eyes darted around the densely packed sleeping quarters. A few individuals shifted and various snorfles and groans of displeasure were murmured, before quickly fading into the familiar sounds of snores and light breathing.

Cold, clammy sweat drenched her face, neck and hands. Nott was too afraid to move, her body frozen in place under Caduceus' hammock.

Water.

Can’t breath. Can’t breath. Can’t breath.

A desperate gulp of air.

Minutes that felt like hours passed as she tensely waited for the boat to regulate itself. Shakily, Nott inched backwards from her hiding place and gently slipped the bead into one of her many pockets.

Nott’s already large eyes were wide, pupils dilated, and her ears flattened against her head. She shuffled back toward her bunk, less careful of the creaking wood in her rattled state. She reached out to get in before her eyes darted up to Caleb, now only slightly above her as she stood. He had been too tired and deep in sleep to have woken up. It seemed that most everyone but Nott had gotten used to the sway of the ocean.

Caleb was curled up facing away from her. She could see the bumps of his spine pressed against his thin shirt. Nott bit her lip and wrung her sweat moistened hands, debating if it would be okay to ask if she could crawl in with him—she wouldn’t take up too much room. It’s not like they hadn’t slept in tighter quarters during their time on the road.

Memories flooded her mind of the nights they spent huddled together for warmth. She had felt every scar, every jutting rib. It seemed so long ago and just yesterday at the same time. Back then, when Caleb was sound asleep, she would study his face. The cut of his jaw, the ridge of his brow, his pale lashes against the bruise-colored skin under his eyes, the curve of his lips…. Nott wished she could look at Caleb’s face now, see the peaceful look he only let his guard down enough in sleep to show. She would hate to disturb it.

A sad, almost longing look crept its way across Nott’s features. Nostalgia and something else distracting her mind from her current distress for just a moment. She reached out and gently raked her fingers through his hair.

Caleb took a harsh intake of air as he was shocked out of sleep, stiffening under her touch. Seconds passed with a palpable tension. Guilt, shame and embarrassment darkened the color of Nott's face. This was exactly what she hoped to avoid. Luckily, Caleb didn't have darkvision. Caleb turned his head a bit,

“Nott?” His tone hushed and paranoid.

“Uh, yeah. It’s me. I–I’m sorry Caleb I didn’t mean to wake you! I was just going back to bed and—”

“Nott. Nott. It is alright. Is something the matter?” At this point Caleb had fully turned toward Nott, hearing the panic in her voice. He could faintly make out her silhouette; her ears were down and her body was slightly hunched in on itself. “Scheiße, of course you aren’t, why am I asking you that. Would you like to…?”

Nott furiously nodded her head in affirmation. It took an awkward moment of balancing and rearranging before Caleb was able to reach down and lift her up. He pulled Nott on top of him, the only place she fit in so small a space. Her hands were still unsteady, a slight tremor running through them and sweat was still slick on the back of her neck, but she felt the tension release from her shoulders with each stroke of Caleb’s hand on her back.

The two laid in silence for a moment. Nott’s guilt for rousing Caleb grew in her chest as the wave that made her quake with fear grew more distant.

“I’m sorry I woke you up, Caleb. I didn’t mean to. I thought about it, but I wasn’t actually going to do it. You need your rest more than I need to be coddled.” The last few words dripped with derision.

Caleb winced a little at her biting tone, like her criticism of herself was a splinter in his chest. He continued the soothing circular pattern he was tracing on her back, a pattern to a spell he was memorizing.

“Ah—Nein, do not worry about it. How many times have I woken you up at night, hm? Plus, I have missed my cuddle buddy while we have been out on this shithole of a ship.”

Nott gave a tired smile and nuzzled her head into his chest. “Yeah, me too.”

After a few minutes had passed, Nott hesitantly peeked to get a glimpse of Caleb's serene sleeping face. She was in luck—his furrowed brow had smoothed out, and the frown lines framing his mouth relaxed as his jaw hung faintly open. He looked tanner than she had ever seen him, adding a smattering of freckles and a healthy glow to his features. As she stared, Nott lifted her head fully off his chest to appreciate his countenance in full. She reached out to brush a hair off his face, giving herself the freedom to caress his cheek for just a moment. She was overwhelmed with a sense of gratitude and adoration. Not just for tonight, but for every night since they met.

“Thank you.”

Caleb opened his eyes to look at where she had been laying on his chest and craned his neck forward, human eyes unable to see Nott’s face right in front of him.

“Hmm? Did you s—”

Caleb cut off when his lips unexpectedly collided with hers. Nott’s mouth, slightly agape, caught on his as they slammed clumsily together.

Nott had never been so glad Caleb couldn’t see in the dark.

Their lips only touched for a second and it was mostly teeth grinding against teeth, but the repercussions were instantaneous. They both hastily moved their heads away. Nott’s mouth was flooded with a familiar salty, iron taste. Immediately recognizable as blood. It wasn't her own blood on her lips.

”Oh fuck, oh shit! Caleb, I–I think I cut your lip! You're bleeding! I can go grab some water and maybe Jester should look at it to make sure you don't get infected from my gross teeth?” Nott started to get down off the bed, but Caleb’s tightening grip around her thigh quickly stayed her.

”I'm okay Nott, really. It is just a small scratch. If anything it was my fault. I should not have moved so quickly in such tight sleeping quarters.” His voice sounded strained.

Caleb may not have been able to see, but Nott could.

From where Nott was now sitting straddling Caleb’s torso, she could clearly see the red that had spread from his neck over his face. Caleb’s focus was straight up toward the ceiling, seemingly to avoid looking in her direction, as he fruitlessly endeavoured to reassure her he was not hurt.

“Al–alright.” Nott barely breathed out the words.

She laid back down, more conscious of all her movements and body placement than before. Nott was hyper-aware of all her sharp, pointy bits that she hated so much. Never more than in instances like this. When she hurt the person she cared about most.

One of Caleb's hands had gripped her upper arm and the other her thigh in his bid to stop her from leaving the bunk. His arms slowly and cautiously moved back to wrap around Nott’s back. He felt more rigid than before, no longer sliding his hands up and down her spine.

He’s disgusted by me. He doesn’t want to touch me anymore. I can’t blame him for that. I hurt him. I wouldn’t want to touch me either. He’s just too nice to ask me to leave. All this body can do is hurt people. Maybe if I was softer and not so sharp and my skin wasn't so rough, like Jester or–or like how I used to be….

Nott bit her already sore lip with her jagged teeth, drawing her own blood this time. She reached to where her flask usually hung from her belt, hoping to wash the taste of blood from her mouth and numb the sting of her lips and heart with the bitter elixir. Her hands fumbled at her side and she cursed inwardly as she realized it was sitting on top of her pack on the ground. It looked like she would not be able to drown out this night from her memory. Nott squeezed her eyes shut blinking out tears and hoping desperately Caleb didn’t mention what had happened in the morning—or ever, for that matter.

Nott’s emotions were spent. She just wanted this horrible night to end. She turned as gently as she could to get comfortable without disturbing Caleb a third time. She finished adjusting herself and laid her head back down on Caleb’s chest, when something, or more precisely, someone caught her attention.

Nott froze.

Fuschia eyes bored into her as Caduceus stared. Nott’s heart jumped into her throat and then plummeted like a rock to her stomach. Wait. Caduceus didn’t have dark vision, all the noise probably woke him up—with his being so perceptive and all. She was safe. He gave her a little half smile before turning over in his cot. The small action sent blood roaring back into Nott’s cheeks. He couldn't see in the dark, could he?

Nott really wished she had her flask now.

She tried to shut it all out. Nott shook her head as if it would dislodge the night's events from her brain. The fright of the ship's harsh rocking mixed with the anxiety and guilt of what just happened with Caleb left Nott emotionally and mentally exhausted. Her eyes stung with the specific feeling of having been awake far later than sheshould and the cut from biting her lip was starting to scab over, but the knot in her stomach persisted. Oh well, she would have to deal with that in the morning. Nott’s strung out nerves coupled with the warmth of Caleb’s body surrounding her with his familiar scent—she liked it no matter what the others said—finally, finally lulled her to sleep.

[docholligay]

Hiding How Sick/Hurt I Am From The Group, Mina

“Everybody get your shit together!” Mina yelled and rolled her eyes. “For like, five seconds!” 

The group looked at her, some to argue, some to whimper, but as Mina stood there, steadying herself on a large ochre rock, looking at all of them with that keen eye that half her and half Venus, peeking like a devil through the window, they all stood silent. 

“Listen, I know this is new to all of us,” she looked around at the strange, scarred earth they found themselves upon, “really new. But the work’s the same, guys,--” 

“I’m not a guy!” Rei piped up “I mean, none of us are guys! Why are we letting men dominate group--” 

MIna put her hand to her temple and closed her eyes, sitting down on a nearby rock. “Oh for fuck’s sake, you know what, Mars, when YOU’RE leader, you can call everyone whatever the fuck you want.” 

Rei crossed her arms. “It’s not about that, it about the way that men are considered the baseline for--” 

“Mars,” Michiru tipped her head, “Perhaps this is not quite the time that one might choose to debate the merits of colloquial speech, and the gender, class, whatever sort of thing you might imagine, implications of such. Being as we are in an interdimensional hellhole and all.”

Rei opened her mouth, and then shut it as Usagi latched onto her arm, and simply allowed herself to glower out a silent argument. 

“Thank you.” Mina said, shaking her head. “Anyway, this is the same shit we’ve always done,” she indicated a hand toward Rei, “LADIES. All we have to do is use all the stuff I’ve taught you before. We’ll make a move on the castle, and have it captured by dawn.” 

Mina slowly rose to her feet, her hand still on the rock. “Jupiter. You and Moon are going in through the front. I essentially expect you to be captured. You’re a distraction. I want you to punch, stab, and electrocute some dudes.” 

“All right!” Mako’s fist pumped the air. 

Rei sputtered. “You can’t let her get captured, she’s the princess!” 

“Yeah,” Mina chuckled, “what sort of idiot would send their princess to the front line? No one I know. Good thing they have no clue which one of us is the princess.” she jutted her chin at Hotaru. “Surprise, you’re the princess today.”

“Goddamnit,” the tiny teenager scowled, “Why me again?” 

“Because,” Mina walked slowly over to her, grinning and casually placing a hand on her shoulder, “You look tiny and defenseless. Which is why,” she turned around quickly, and dramatically tossed herself against Haruka, “My biggest strongest solider is going with her. You two are going to run through the forest,” She pushed herself out of Haruka’s arm, “protecting the princess. Move fast, remember there are venomous fucking lizards in this place, Uranus.” 

Haruka thought for a moment. “Will it kill me?” 

MIna sighed. “For me to find that out, I’d have to let it bite you. Please don’t. At least until later when there’s a way out of this place.” 

“And me?” 

Rei arched an eyebrow, looking at Mina. She saw a wave on the edge of her vision, something that almost called to mind the Sight, like it was trying to tell her something, but she was too far away, and the words got garbled on the wind. 

“You,” Mina nodded, “Are going to try from the cave below, by the sea. I don’t think they guard it well, they expect the sea to be a fucking guard. Tide is out all the time, dumbasses.” 

Rei nodded, but kept staring at her. “So I’m going with Neptune.” 

MIna turned away from her. “ What did I say about tide? No, you’re going with Pluto. You don’t need Neptune. Neptune and I are sneaking in through the back. And don’t,” her voice was quiet, but serious, “Argue with me, Mars. Not even a little bit.” 

“Fine.” Rei crossed her arms, but stood waiting, quietly, for once. 

MIna looked off to the castle, a storm gathering over the top of it. If these weren’t happening in front of her, she would have called this an overblown fantasy anime, but her life did so often seem like that, she supposed. Maybe it was. Maybe it was easier to think of everything that was happening to her as necessary character arc. Whose growth would she be ensuring, by her...well, she stopped the thought there, at least for now. 

“And!” The wind kicked up, and whirled her hair around her, “I put you in pairs, so the mission will be completed. If one of you falls, the other one moves on. Got it? I am deadass here, people. We have to get out of this. Even if it means one of us is lost. There’s more at stake here than any one of us.” 

The girls who understood nodded, and affirmed their assent, and the ones who did not stood silently, but knew they follow the leader. They always had, except for maybe Usagi. And she was due to get captured in the first few minutes. Mina was smart. She had done that for a reason. She would never say to leave someone behind, unless she had a reason. 

The girls began to dissipate, breaking off in their small groups, Rei and Pluto already jumping down the small cliffsides nimbly on their way to the save by the sea. It was only Haruka who stood back a moment, looking out at the castle next to Mina. 

Why don’t you want me to go with you?” There was a note of hurt in it, as if she had failed, and was being put into time out for something she didn’t understand. “Why do I have to stay in the woods?” 

“Bud, you know I love you. You’re fast, and you can keep ahead of them, and honestly,” she rubbed at Haruka’s shoulder, “I can’t trust you to leave her behind, if she falls. Or the other way around.” 

Haruka scrunched her face in protest, stopped a moment, and sighed. “Yeah.” 

Mina tossed back her hair and smiled brightly. “I’ll bring her back, Uranus. You just gotta promise me you’ll stay out of trouble in the woods, and keep Hotaru out of trouble. They’re swampy, and dangerous. And, as I said, venomous fucking lizards.” 

Haruka nodded, and walked over to Hotaru. “Princess?” 

Hotaru rolled her eyes. “Okay, subject, let’s make it happen.” 

Michiru and Mina stood side by side, watching, until Haruka and Hotaru disappeared over a hill. MIna let go, just for a moment, as they slipped out of sight, Michiru nimbly grabbing her behind the arms and helping her to the ground. Mina was shaking, and turned on her side to throw up a small pile of green and rust brown onto the ground. 

“Yes, I rather thought that might be the case.” MIchiru was knelt beside her. 

She did not look at Mina with pity, or fear, but a simple recognition of the issue at hand.It was in this moment Mina realized that although she could honestly be said to dislike Michiru, on a daily basis, they were times she quite loved her, and always respected her. 

She wiped at her mouth with her glove. “You must have Seen it.” 

“Someone is certainly far more impressed with their acting skills than is warranted.” Michiru looked at her plainly. “You sent Haruka far enough away she will not see it if you should die in the attempt. I have never seen you use so much support for anything in my life. You fell into Haruka’s arms, and played the entire thing off. You front-loaded the idea that we are meant to be left behind in the event of our death, that the group would not blame me for doing so. How could they, when you were so zealous about the issue? 

She cleared her throat. “You paired with me, although you do not care for me, because you imagine I will bear your passing the best.” Michiru smiled. “Venomous fucking lizard, was it?” 

Mina chuckled. “I should have used you more. As a leader. You’re clever.” She sighed. “It’s eating me alive, I can feel it. I don’t know how far I can go. I don’t think Usagi can help it. I--there was so much more I wanted to do, but--I’m going to fight like the devil, and see how quick he is to come and take me. I’ll burn the whole castle down with my last. Fucking. Breath.” 

She felt her body twist inside, even as she said it, and heard the tick-tick-tick of the clock in her head as it wound toward the long, great midnight. 

Mina leaned back on her elbows. “Lived my whole life on the edge and one wrong step in a miserable swamp at the end of the universe is gonna be what does it. ” 

“Time and chance happen to us all.” Michiru rose to her feet, and extended a hand,. “Commander Venus. To arms.” 

MIna took her hand and struggled to her feet. “I hope I go brave.” 

“The story I tell of your heroism, and your death, will make a legend of you. I think you’ll find I can be quite persuasive when the mood strikes me.” She brushed a bit of dirt off Mina’s back, “For Haruka’s sake, of course, if we find something that might save you, I’d prefer that entirely..” 

Mina went to unsheath her sword, and decided she would save her strength for when it had to be raised for the last time. 

She grinned.

“Let’s go, squidward.”

[queertheology]

Practical next steps on your Christian journey

So you’re a Christian? Now what?

For the past month at Queer Theology, we’ve been taking a look at the fundamentals of Christianity — and of what it means to be an LGBTQ+ person of faith. We’ve sorted through everything from myths and misconceptions to downright toxic theology and we’ve tried to get at the heart of what it means to be a Christian.

Here’s what we’ve covered so far:

Back to the (queer Christian) basics

What do we do with the Bible?

The Exodus didn’t happen. The Exodus is true.

What does it mean to be a Christian?

The generosity of God

Building a Bible-based faith (that isn’t terrible)

a live webinar on the basics of Christianity (you can get access to it, and our entire webinar archive, in Sanctuary Collective)

But so what? What do you do with all this knowledge?

My junior high youth group director Dave used to tell us, “If you really believe in Jesus, that can’t help but change your life.”

Here are some practical next steps as you continue to pursue a (queer) Christian faith.

Not everyone has to believe the same as you.

Some conservative branches of Christianity are keen on making sure that everyone believes the same thing. There is one way to interpret each and every Bible passage. There is one correct way to relate to Jesus, one correct way to understand salvation, one correct everything.

The math-science nerd in me understands this: there is one law for gravity, 1 plus 1 does equal 2, human reproduction happens in a certain, observable way.

But, even in science, there is so much we don’t know. And so much that varies from person to person, experience to experience. You might work best alone in an office while your neighbor might work best from a crowded coffeeshop. You might be motivated by comfort while your friend might be motivated by fame.

We each experience and understand the world in different ways, and that’s a beautiful thing.

Sometimes it’s helpful to ask “what is right” as best we can know. Sometimes we can look to science for answers (vaccines really will protect your child, comprehensive sexual education really does help keep teenagers safe, the earth really does revolve around the sun).

But sometimes, when it comes to matters of faith or of the heart, “is it right?” doesn’t always have a clear answer (even if it feels so clear to you or me!). In those cases, “is it helpful?” is often a good question to ask. When that is the question, it’s possible to answer “yes” to lots of different questions. They can compliment each other, rather than compete with one another.

When it comes to the nature of God, the resurrection, and even what-happens-after-you-die, Fr. Shay and I often believe differently. But we can look at each of our beliefs, ask “Is it helpful?,” and see that the answer is yes.

Jesus models this in Scripture when he tells his followers to judge the tree of a theology by its fruits. Good theology bears good fruits.

If your theology — or someone else’s theology — is bearing bad fruit … that may be a reason to speak out or act up. But if it’s just different than yours? That’s ok.

Not every problem you face is a spiritual one

We believe in the power of God. A God that parts seas to set oppressed people freeand who defeats death. We believe that the divine dwells in you, too. And that you are capable of remarkable things.

It’s also important that we recognize that not every problem you face is a spiritual one — sometimes you need secular solutions.

Too often we receive messages from folks who have been told that their gender dysphoria is a result of their sin or that their depression or suicidal thoughts can be cured with prayer.

God works through doctors and therapists and nutritionists just as much as God works through priests and pastors.

Sometimes you need a doctor. Or a therapist. Or a nutritionist. You might need medicine or light therapy or daily exercise.

If you come from a conservative religious background, working with a therapist to unpack that experience and develop healthier, more productive ways of moving through the world can be hugely helpful. I cannot recommend it enough. If you think you can’t afford therapy, talk with your local LGBT center… they may be able to connect you with some low- or no-cost options. Also, check out this Twitter thread for options and alternatives.

It’s important that you think through how your faith and beliefs will affect your actions

It’s all well and good to have beliefs but how do those beliefs affect your life—your choices and your actions (and your inactions)? James 2:17 even says, pointedly, “faith is dead when it doesn’t result in faithful activity.”

We see throughout the scriptures — and in the example of believers throughout the ages — the importance of putting your faith into action. God asked Moses to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. The divine became incarnate in Jesus and then walked, talked, ate, touched (and led direct action protests).

If we take Jesus at his word that he came to “preach good news to the poor, to proclaim release to the prisoners and recovery of sight to the blind, to liberate the oppressed,” and if we understand that he asked those around him to follow him … then what will faithful actions look like in our lives?

Here are some questions for you think about:

what will I do with my money?

how will I take care of others?

in what ways can I speak truth to powers and principalities that they would take care of their people?

how will I treat others?

where will I worship?

where will I live? (and with whom?)

how will I spend my time?

what will I think about myself?

what will I think about others?

If your Christian faith is important to you, take the time and energy to grow in it

As Christians, we don’t get to download everything that we need to know from The Matrix and be instant experts, even Jesus studied at the temple.

If the Christian faith is important to you, set aside the time and energy to grow in it. Read books, listen to talks, audit classes, speak with experts. You don’t need a seminary degree to be a faithful Christian, of course, but there is something to be said about really studying the theology around your faith if that faith is important to you. (Need somewhere to get started? We have a whole class on how to read the Bible)

I’m a big fan of 1 Thessalonians 5:21 — “test everything; hold fast to that which is good” — it was instrumental in allowing me to question what I’d been taught about “homosexuality and the Bible” … but it doesn’t end there. Test everything. Your beliefs about God, prayer, salvation, about the outsider and the other, about hell, sin, grace, and more. (we take a robust look at 26 different topics over 13 issues of Spit & Spirit — you get a subscription to the magazine with Sanctuary Collective)

Find a community

Where two are more are gathered, there God is (Matthew 18:20). Something divine happens in community: here’s enough to eat (Matthew 14), there are no needy (Acts 2).

Whether your community is online or IRL, it’s important to get connected with a community of folks who believe like you and share your values.

To find community in real life:

GayChurch.org maintains a list of LGBTQ-affirming churches

Connect with the LGBTQ+ organization for a specific denomination for suggestions on where to worship. Those are

More Light Presbyterians

Reconciling Ministries Network

Association of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists

Dignity (Roman Catholic)

Integrity (Episcopalian)

Affirmation (Latter Day Saints)

Reconciling Works

Room for All (Reform Church of America)

To find community online:

Connect on the #FaithfullyLGBT and #QueerTheology hashtags on Twitter

Search for “gay Christian” on Tumblr or track the gay christian hashtag

Join Sanctuary Collective, an online community of LGBTQ+ Christians and straight, cisngeder supporters from around the world and across denominations (including some seekers and skeptics)

It’s ok to not be a Christian

It’s also possible that you’ll take a hard look at what it means to be a Christian and decide it’s not for you. That you don’t align with its values, that its beliefs are too different from your own, that you don’t want to be associated with the label, or that its caused you too much trauma and it’s just not safe for you. That’s ok.

It is OK to not be a Christian.

You can be a good, righteous, moral person and not be a Christian.

You can love God and not be a Christian (it’s also OK if you’re angry at God! or don’t believe in God).

And as Christian leaders, we’re here to tell you that God doesn’t think any less of you if you never step foot in a church begin because it’s triggering, if you don’t feel God’s presence, if you have major doubts, if you don’t believe.

We find Christianity to be a liberating and life-giving faith and we believe God wants you to be liberated and saved. If you find that somewhere, go with gusto!

What are some ways that you’ve put your faith into action? Reply or reblog!

[valerie-royeaux]

GET INTO JUNIA CADASH

Tagged by the awesome @ladydracarysao3 and @gugle1980! I loved doing this one!

NAME: Junia Cadash

AGE: 33 at the Conclave 

GENDER: female

ORIENTATION: Bissexual

PROFESSION:  At the time of the Conclave, none. Carta Leader some years before that.

BACKGROUND: 

Junia was born to a very wealthy family in Waking Sea, in Ferelden. They were heavy supporters of the Surface Caste and paraded the casteless brand as a mark of Surfacer pride. During her childhood she was being prepared for an advantageous marriage, having to wear dresses, learn proper manners, sew, maintain good posture, etc. When she about eight or nine her family crossed the Merchant Guild. The Guild killed her parents, looted their property, and she was part of the loot.”

She was bought by the one brothel owner in Kirkwall who would not employ children, signora Benedetta told Junia years after the fact she would never employ anyone young enough to die and go straight to the Maker’s side. She payed to have Junia, and released her to a monastery for free the promise of weekly services in honor of her soul after she died.

Junia went to a big convent and was assigned the most basic chores - stuff not even the sisters following stricter versions of the Rule would do. The mothers and sisters there wasted no time letting her know I was a dwarf, and therefore she was not going be educated like the other orphans. All she remembers from that time is that I hated being poor and destitute. With passion.

Soon, she caught the eye of sister Lucia, and Sister Lucia made sure Junia would serve only her. She was the head of the scriptorium, where the sisters copy manuscripts. She had Junia make sure the supplies were tidy, the room was clean, and the sisters writing had what they needed. She also helped Lucia keep track of sisters who were slacking in their copying. Sister Lucia ensured her service was light enough. And every night, in between the end of her chores and the nightly prayers, she taught Junia the language of Chiesaforte. When Junia was speaking some of it, Sister Lucia made sure she learned the Chant. She wanted Junia to know that the Maker was the creator of everyone. Everyone.

It did not take long for Junia to meet Sister Lucia’s wealthy patron. A noblewoman named Mara. Even though Sister Lucia lived in the cloister, signora Mara would visit her at least twice a week. Junia’s main chore than became to travel Kirkwall back and forth with notes from Lady Mara to Sister Lucia, from Sister Lucia to Lady Mara. And Lady Mara loved Junia! She cherished to see a dwarf being raised into a good Andrastian.

After staying in Kirkwall’s monastery for three years, Junia wanted to become affirmed. And she was denied that, despite Lucia and Mara’s influence. Grand Cleric Elthina learned of Junia’s intention to become a sister, and denied it herself.

After that enormous disappointment, and Junia slowly came into contact with the Carta and, in her teenage years, started working with them. Sister Lucia’s words of the Maker’s love found hollow years in a disillusioned young woman. So soon started the small deliveries, then at small hits, and with time, to be one of the organization’s most effective agents around the Waking Sea’s shores.

PHYSICAL

Body type: Short, thick build and chubby, with large breasts and strong arms.

Eyes: Dark brown

Hair: Chestnut brown, at the time of the conclave it is shoulder length, with a side shave.

Skin: White, freckly.

Height: 1.50 cm / 4’ 11”

Weight: 75 kg

SKILLS (S.P.E.C.I.A.L + M)

Strength- 8/10 – She carries the strength of the dwarves, and can punch and lift.

Perception-  8/10 - She’s got a keen eye, specially for small changes in environments. She is good at perceiving danger and traps.

Endurance- 6/10 - She will endure just enough before looking for an alternative. She won’t carve her way through a mountain if the can go around it. And she will be calm before taking decisive action, but this decisive action won’t take too long to happen.

Charisma- 8/10 – She is very practical, confident and can intimidate easily. She leads by example and punishment, and can just be a jolly good fella when relaxing.

Intelligence- 7/10 - She’s very intelligent, and can speak Orlesian, Fereldan and the language of the Free Marchers with ease. She is also educated and literate.

Agility- 7/10 - She’s really quick for her stout constitution, and really silent. But she’s not and acrobat or a gymnast. You won’t see or hear her, but she won’t somersault.

Luck- 5/10 - She’s an OC. This says enough of the amount of shit  I … I mean, the Maker throws her way.

Magic- 0/10 – She’s a dwarf! =) But she is extremely pious, and a strong Andrastian!

LIKES

Colors – Burgundy and gold

Smells - Wood, linen, candles, sweat

Food – Meaty roasts and roots.

Fruit – Grapes, berries, apples

Drinks - Ale

Alcoholic drinks – Points Up

OTHER

Smoke: Occasionally. Good herbs for pipes literally cost their weight in gold.

Drugs:  no

Driver’s license?: She can’t ride.

Tagging @mapplestrudel, @gwen-cousland, @ankalime, @acaranna, @amell-on, @senros, @kirkwallgirl, @novamm66, @fuck-the-council, @fereldenpeach, @captainceranna, @crashed-down-in-a-hurricane, @roguelioness, @bearly-tolerable, @thesecondsealwrites, @elfsplaining, @sloth-draws, @dalishious

[twelvesignsrp]

congratulations nicola/lola, capricorn is now coraline “cora” lansbury with the faceclaim aisha dee

APPLICATION

Character Sign: Capricorn

Character name: Coraline “Cora” Lansbury Birthday: 24/12/1997 Sexuality: Pansexual Gender: Cisgendered Female Moon Sign: Scorpio Faceclaim: Aisha Dee please if that’s okay c:

Power

Super Strength — For as long as she can recall, there has been one giant taboo making its rounds through Cora’s mind whenever she was in need of a reminder: giving up was never an option, failure unacceptable. But instead of cracking under the pressure applied on her fragile frame by both her family and herself, she never troubled herself with the prospect of not succeeding for she knew, deep within her, that she would always be stronger than her opponents or the obstacles she was to face. Some might call it exaggerated confidence, its roots untraceable even for her, but her belief in herself has so far secured her a spotless track record. And even if she was to not come in first place, she had always persisted, her endurance admirable enough for her performance to still be considered a victory of a different kind.

What do they study?

With possibilities seemingly endless, Cora struggled to make a final decision for quite a while but eventually wound up opting for International Relations. She has always exhibited a keen interest in politics and the law, in the order of the world and how its staying in tact was to be ensured, even long before she had reached the appropriate age for such worries. While Law and Politics were available separate options, she found her concern for worldwide affairs to be best covered in the major she has eventually chosen.

Biography:

A wide-eyed doll of unconventional porcelain, dark locks sizzling like flames under the force of gushes of wind. Faster. Stronger. Better. It had always been on her to bring glory to the name, never mind the difficulties she had to face others failed to fathom.

A rabbit-hearted girl could outsmart the lazy lion in a heartbeat, for endurance is true strength.

An only child, the Lansburys only hope after so many desperate attempts resulted in nothing but pain and heartbreak, Cora didn’t need to be told that she carried the weight of being destined for greatness on her slim shoulders — yet she would, several times over. Medically, she was considered a miracle (of natural conception, no less), a word that would echo through her mind in the voices of various relatives until she had grown infatuated with its meaning. A Christmas miracle of a child, a wunderkind — an aspiration well suited for a child like her, the girl who always seemed to stand out from the crowds no matter how hard she tried to blend in. Her brows too bushy, her curls too unruly, her smile too wild and forceful; a natural-born outsider among the upper-class crowd, their dullness threatening to swallow her individuality alive if she wanted to stick with them and have a shot at their successes. But a girl as clever as her was not meant to struggle for long, nor to betray herself in favour of conformity.

Instead, a warrior was born amidst a sea of rosé tulle, flashing her fangs at afternoon playdates and digging her claws into the keys to victory: education and training, practising until there was nothing left to learn, nothing left to devour by a soul as eager as hers. Her future shone brightly, kneeling at her feet in an act of devotion, but popularity was a whole other story, a different battle to win. They knew her as an overachiever now, the girl who could potentially help you with your homework but was often too stubborn to do so. Before that, they had known her as the odd one out, a misfit trying too hard to squeeze herself into their pristine puzzle of poshness, and they had never failed to find the right names to let her know she just wasn’t quite right for them. Hardened by the times, she strode on, Coraline the lone wolf, blissful in her own company and that of her family, a loving bunch luckily providing her with a handful of cousins in a similar age group that never allowed her to experience true loneliness. At the very least, she would never be naive enough to trust blindly. A girl with her insight into the human psyche and the different types of people it produced — deep enough to be able to sort them within seconds she would like to think — knows all too well whom to avoid to not get hurt again.

By sixth form, her last struggle had been overcome. Cora had found her kind, a decent sized group of a somewhat snobby but lovable bunch usually knee-deep in first world upper-class problems they at times could have easily averted. No matter how often they implored her not to judge them, not doing so silently often turned out to be impossible but she never saw the harm in loving judgement — even less so since she never once turned them down when it came to trying to find a solution to their woes. And thus the loner became the rock, the fixer, the shoulder to cry on who would catch your head from way up in the clouds and screw it back onto your neck with the support of a logical solution to a seemingly unsolvable issue. Sugarcoating was all but her strong suit but, alas, what use was there in denying the truth if it was your only saving grace; if there was only one way that would bring you salvation and it just so happened to be hers? Can she, in the light of that, really be blamed for not wanting to venture from the tested road she has chosen for herself when all the others look like dark, twisted alleyways leading to doom?

Hardly.

As far as she is concerned, she is on the right track and she has brought proof as well. But go ahead, try and tell her otherwise.

Five interesting facts about your character:

i. Even though starting ballet was originally her parents’ idea for her, she grew to love it almost instantly, the feeling of having complete control over her body filling her with a strange sense of inner peace strong enough to keep her coming back to occasional classes even now. Her studies don’t grant her enough time for regular courses anymore and at times she’s resort to yoga for relaxation but nothing quite compares to the feeling (or pain) of pointe shoes being tied again every to every other week.

ii. Cora, CC, Lin, Lina, Coco, Coral, Corali — she has a great variety of nicknames and willing accepts being called by either of them, though it all depends on your relationship to her whether you are allowed to use a certain name. All of them are availabe to family members and Cora is available to absolutely everyone she knows, simply because she feels Coraline sounds a bit too highbrow to fit her at times, but if you’re not a blood relative, you’ll have to earn the right to use a certain batch.

iii. Another (nerdy) passion of hers are languages and literature. Her library at home was excessive, mostly dominated by classics even though the first book series she fell in love with was, unsurprisingly, Harry Potter (Hermione being the first character she ever identified with), but not at all limited to those or merely English literature in general. She more or less fluently speaks English, German, Spanish, French and Italian at this point and is looking to branch out into the Asian and African continent if she should find the time to acquire more.

iv. People tend to assume she is joking but her instrument of choice and the only one she can play exceptionally well is the ukulele. Sometimes, when is trying to clear her mind, one can find her strumming away on it, lost in thought or composing her own original songs — though she would stop singing immediately the second she realises she has company as her singing voice is one of the few things she isn’t confident in.

v. As a child, she had a pet rabbit called Cookie whom she would carry around with her wherever she was allowed to bring him. Her trust in him was so strong that he ended up being the only creature she would tell her secrets to and thus his demise hit her even harder than most kids. Still, she owns a locket her mother gave her when she wouldn’t stop grieving with a photo of the rabbit as well as a small strand of its fur. She doesn’t wear it anymore but keeps it in her jewellery box and likes to hold onto it for comfort when she is devastatingly sad.

Character Quote

“The water sustains me without even trying; the water can’t drown me, I’m done with my dying.” — The Water by Johnny Flynn

If your character had a patronus what would it be? and why?

Regardless of the fact that she had one as a child, Cora has long since assumed that her patronus would have to be a rabbit. Like her, they are all too often underestimated and deemed weak and cowardly yet they tend to have the upper hand even in very perilous situations, are resilient and clever.

WRITING SAMPLE

The world’s mysteries at the reach of her fingertips; an ambitious dream but hardly out of line for someone as dedicated. She had grasped it all but love, love alone should proof to be her Achilles’ heel. A good generously dished out by her parents, her family, the selected few who had her trust but none of it had been acquired through war, battled for, pursued with utmost urgency. Someone as composed, controlled and seemingly emotionally cold as her had to be too focused to be distracted by sinful, weakening impulses, right?

Alas, her time would come and she would succumb like a moth to the flame, drowning in its waves, forceful as a tsunami. Succumb gladly, until the fairytale turned bad.

Michael had been a good match for her, they had all said so, constant affirmation honey on a greedy winner’s tongue. As per usual, she was on top of the world, one part of the school’s dream couple. The ugly duckling had once and for all become a swan of radiant, unstoppable beauty, making memories she was hoping to cherish forever despite being a realist by birth. Deep down, Cora had known that this would be a fleeting love, like most puppy loves: intense, all-consuming but as quickly to burn out as it had first been sparked. All these nights, wrapped up in each other or out in the countryside with his old Mercedes, silently watching the stars with Cigarettes After Sex on the car stereo — all of them turned into regrets when she could no longer fight her suspicions, with one swift swipe of her thumb. Why did Michael have to be just about the only person on this planet who still didn’t use a passcode for his phone?

She had come out to visit him in his dorm as she did every other weekend ever since he had left for university, being a year her senior, and was waiting for him to return to the bathroom when she just had to give in and choose the worst possible pastime option. Teeth dug into her bottom lip, an inner voice scolding her for becoming one of those distrusting girls who went through their boyfriend’s phones, the kind she deemed ridiculous just a year before but distance had made her see their point all too clearly. Cora squeezed her eyes shut as her fingertip brushed against the green icon leading her straight to Michael’s messages. A pause, a breath, a beat and she pressed down anyway, fluttering lids giving room to widened pupils as her whole world came crashing down. Figuratively, of course, though at the time it felt literal, the weight of it crushing her heart into a billion shards, provisorily patched up by nothing but pure, unadulturated rage.

Her fist curled up around the mobile phone, teeth gritted as she forced herself to take a deep, albeit shaky breath. ‘Be rational,’ Cora’s mind warned her with the warmth of the big sister the universe hadn’t allowed her to have. ‘Give him a chance to explain. Don’t just assume things that fit your paranoia.’ Only that she didn’t have to assume. It was perfectly fucking clear. The phone’s screen cracked under the force of her grip without her even paying attention to it just before the door swung open again, marking the return of a cheerful now ex-boyfriend to be. “Who’s Louise?” was all she could recall herself saying to him, her tone verging on a screeching scream. “Who the fuck is Louise?” Stuttered explanations fell on deaf ears, her vision blurred by anger as she scrambled to her feet, the phone dropping onto the bed and her empty fist now hitting the boy’s chest, once, twice — but not thrice for a soft push had sent him flying into the wall behind him, leaving the two of them dumbstruck with fear.

Panic pushed its way through the raging curtain, prompting Cora to rely on her instincts and flee, her pace steadily sped up until she ran to safety, to her escape, to her car. Instantly, she locked the doors from the inside, fumbling to stick her keys into the ignition but dropping them in shock, her breathing unsteady, eyes glued to the inside of her right palm. Blood dripped from small but undeniable cuts in her skin, some of them pricked by small glass shards driven deeply into the soft surface for which she had only one explanation — one explanation that was, under no circumstances, possible whatsoever. Then again…

Could this really have been her doing? All of this? Hell, she was half Michael’s size and weight. Even the mere thought of her being capable of pushing him into a wall without using excruciating force or of cracking a phone’s screen onehandedly went against all logic. Yet…

It took her ten minutes to finally lean down and pick up her keys. Ten minutes filled with heavy breathing, shivering and tears. Ten minutes and a fuzzy mind fumbling for a reasonable explanation as though its life depended on it. At last, she turned them in the ignition, foot pressing down on the clutch pedal. Perhaps it was her wrath. Perhaps it had become an odd driving force that enabled her to access supernatural powers, like those distressed mothers trying to rescue their kids by lifting cars and the likes. Granted, not the best example but it made some sense, right? Right. Another deep breath as she backed out of the parking lot. That had to be it.

Nothing unsual. All was well. Just your average, enraged girl who had been cheated on. She may have always been a bit of the odd one out but that odd? No fucking way.

ANYTHING ELSE?

thank you loads for taking the time to read my messy incoherent crap!! i haven’t written a bio in months and i’m afraid it shows, unfortunately — & my favourite colour is royal blue c:

[emma-what-son]

Emma Watson: I've always said, 'forget the engagement ring, build me a library!'

From Independent.ie March 2017: She's playing "a Disney princess gone rogue", but after the backlash to that photo shoot, actress Emma Watson is walking a carefully plotted line between art and politics. Here, our reporter meets the guarded Beauty and the Beast star.

"Dan brought such a tenderness and dry humour to Beast, which made him all the more relatable," she gushes. He responds with an equally fawning: "Emma's chief motivation was being able to tell the kind of messages that are pertinent across generations. Not just about wearing Belle's yellow dress."

The largely sycophantic back and forth continues with words on Emma's immeasurable kindness and Dan's boundless generosity. There are tales of Steven's "hair-raising" adventures on stilts to achieve Beast's height, and Emma comparing her singing to legendary off-key chanteuse Florence Foster Jenkins, played by Meryl Streep in last year's eponymous biopic. How watching Katharine Hepburn screwball comedies provided huge inspiration for their characters.

Altogether, it's a perfect puff exercise in promotional Hollywood chit-chat orchestrated by Watson's team of rigid representatives.

Before today's audience with the former Harry Potter graduate, journalists had to sign a clause-filled contract. The immovable interview terms demanded no personal questions of any kind; no questions about her background; no mention of La La Land (Watson reportedly turned down Emma Stone's Oscar-winning role). Basically nothing beyond the fairy tale.

There were no such conditions for talking to former Downton Abbey star Stevens.

Now, "no personal questions" is a frequent request delivered by the movie PR folk but usually comes as a verbal, quiet warning not to venture down the path of messy divorce or criminal activity. 

A binding contract this inflexible, however, is something else entirely - something I have never encountered before.

'Brand Watson' is a carefully master- minded machine: one which boasts nearly 50million social media followers. Unfortunately for the 26-year-old star, a grey area exists between her unrelenting, admirable crusade for gender equality and her acting career.

In playing Belle in the €150million live-action revamp of the childhood classic, Watson has intentionally blended her politics with her art. The feminist campaigner has become a Disney princess. Which, in promotional discussion, invariably forces her to reveal herself, just a little.

"Innately at the centre of Beauty and the Beast was this heroine who went against the crowd, marched to the beat of her own drum," Watson tells me. "Fearlessly independent-minded, defiant. Nothing around her is affirming her choices. She's incredibly curious and learned and does things her own way. And I connected with her sense of defiance. She's a Disney princess gone rogue.

"I watched a lot of films as a young woman that I felt gave me less choices and constricted me, as opposed to making me feel that the world was limitless and possibilities were endless. And I also knew how important Belle is as a symbol because of how important she was to me as a young girl. She was my idol - my own personal heroine - so I know how important it was to get it right."

Getting Belle right in 2017 is indeed important, lest it jeopardise the work that Watson has done - and the reputation she has built as an intellectual and feminist crusader - previously.

Her public campaign for equality began with an impassioned address in front of the UN in the summer of 2014, heralding the HeForShe campaign, which calls for men to advocate for gender equality. In speaking out, the actor became both a symbol and a target. And her words and actions are now microscopically scrutinised as a result. For example, that same year, her criticism of fellow feminist Beyoncé's music videos for the Lemonade album - which Watson said in an interview exhibited a "very male voyeuristic experience" - was met with overwhelming backlash. Those quotes were resurrected this month when Watson's own shoot for Vanity Fair featured a photo (below) of her with her breasts partly exposed.

In the furore that followed, Watson was forced to defend the photograph. "It just always reveals to me how many misconceptions and what a misunderstanding there is about what feminism is," she said in an interview with news agency Reuters.

"Feminism is about giving women choice. Feminism is not a stick with which to beat other women. It's about freedom; it's about liberation; it's about equality. I really don't know what my t**s have to do with it. It's very confusing." It's left Watson wedged firmly between a rock and a hard place. And today, when I push her on that difficult position (and much to the horror of her stern publicist), she delivers an uncharacteristically human response.

"To be that public about my opinions and feelings, you can't say something like that and not walk the walk. If you're going to do that, well, I have to live by this. And taking a stance on things doesn't make life easier - it definitely makes things more complicated."

She pauses for thought, perhaps sensing a vulnerability to her words that she then attempts to counter. "You know, the battles I fought and I fight make what I do feel much more worthwhile and it gives me much more of a sense of purpose. And I'm glad that I get actively involved. But it's not easy. Ultimately, I follow my heart because that's all I can do."

There's no doubting that Beauty and the Beast is a passion project for Watson. Directed by Bill Condon - the man behind Dreamgirls and Chicago - the lavish epic is a beautiful spectacle, largely modelled on the 1992 classic, the first animation to receive a Best Picture Oscar nomination. Alongside Stevens and a starry cast including Ewan McGregor as Lumière, Emma Thompson as Mrs Potts and Ian McKellen as Cogsworth, Watson shimmers as Belle, the wayward outsider, stifled by her insular village surrounds.

When she stumbles on the Beast's castle where her father, played by Kevin Kline, is imprisoned, she sacrifices herself and takes his place. She soon learns that Beast and his servants are cursed by a spell which can only be broken by true love.

"It's literally your childhood fantasy," Watson explains, in her signature clipped tones. "I watched that film with a sense of wonderment probably a thousand times, much to the annoyance of my parents. And to actually be in that dress, riding Philippe [the horse], to be wandering around that beautiful castle set, it was amazing. I also felt an immense responsibility. While it was me playing the role, there's a huge pressure because Belle - she's an archetype, she's a symbol, she's every girl. If I do my job well, she belongs to everyone, not just to me."

Watson claims that much modernisation was needed to bring the new version up to date. "The original was released in 1992; now it's 2017: things have moved on a lot from then. I think the film would fall flat if they didn't speak to the times we're in now."

Director Bill Condon says Watson (who today is clad in a monochrome bustier and trousers by Carmen March, one of the many ethically sourced outfits worn for the Beauty promotional tour and documented on her new Instagram page, @the_press_tour) was at the heart of Belle's feminist reinvention.

"She was involved in everything having to do with Belle's environment and costumes. She was so meticulous in the meaning of every costume change, about wearing the appropriate boots and about the dress she wears in the village having pockets.

"Also, Belle was as much an inventor as her father, which was hinted at in the animation. Here we have her doing her own calculations. Emma suggested we could do more with her alone in her own specific world, which led to a washing machine in a well. That was all Emma."

Belle's love of literature is something Watson was also keen to play up. And small wonder, since she founded an online feminist book club, Our Shared Shelf, which boasts nearly 175,000 members. "When Belle enters Beast's library, that's not just her dream - that's mine," Watson says. "I love how she swings along on those wheelie ladders, climbing these elevated storeys of books. And, you know, I've always said, stuff the engagement ring! Just build me a really big library."

For both Stevens and Watson, Beauty and the Beast marks an opportunity to finally eclipse their signature roles in Downton and Harry Potter, respectively. Do they relish that thought?

Her publicist's nostrils flare slightly, while Watson shyly squirms in her seat. Stevens, however, gratefully responds.

"It's certainly not a burden," he says. "Downton changed my life and I know [Harry Potter] changed Emma's. The privilege of that and to carry forward with roles like this adds to the canon."

"And Emma?" I ask. She hesitates slightly. It's a perplexing display for a question so tame. "I think that I just feel really lucky. For me, Belle was my childhood heroine; [the film] came out two days after I was born. And then, in my early teens, it was about idolising Hermione. So to be given the chance to play my two childhood idols is probably a very unique and rare experience for an actress.

"And I think," she continues, "I think I came out of this with more confidence, with more skills. And more belief in myself. Because when I came off Potter and decided to go to university, that wasn't a career decision the people I worked with were pleased about. But I kind of… I try to stay true to whatever whisper I'm getting from myself and I hope that will see me through. That's all I can do really. Otherwise, if I don't listen to myself, I'd feel a bit lost in it all."

Difficult to imagine Emma Watson, the twentysomething movie mogul and ambassador for human rights, feeling lost. And given the rigorous conditions attached to today's interview, one could easily question whether these humble claims are just part of the act.

Meeting the star today, however, it seems that, under the shiny veneer and terse brand control, lies a grounded spirit and decent human being trying to do some good. Hopefully, she'll stay the course as a campaigner and not become a total princess.