#everything a got dam video on social media these days

[desperatepleasures]

why are 90% of ceramics posts on tumblr either a gif made up of several rotating photos or several nice photos followed by an unnecessary video of the ceramics being made

[iibonniee]

100 Ways to Say, "I Love You" | Son Hyunwoo

100 Ways To Say I Love You: "I'm yours."

Pairing: Son Hyunwoo x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Rating: G

Word Count: 0.6k

Masterlist | 100 Ways to Say, "I Love You" Masterlist

It took no more than 10 minutes for Hyunwoo to receive a text back. He felt silly for almost rushing to his phone; his excitement was evident as his smile was virtually cheek-hurting. His heart raced quickly in his chest as he saw the confirming words of his girlfriend agreeing to a FaceTime call.

He was well aware of the current time zone differences they were facing. New York held beautiful, bright blue skies. He knew his girlfriend was met with the dark night sky that he had hoped held many stars and a beautiful moon to shine down on her beauty.

He was startled the moment his phone rang in his hand. He blinked but answered it, realizing who it was. He was hoping to be greeted with a smile. His own smile faltered when he was met with the sight of his girlfriend with a red flushed face, her eyes avoiding the camera, and her smile forced as she sniffled.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?” Hyunwoo was quick to question. His heart was racing, wanting to find his computer for the next ticket back to Korea. “Hey, look at me. Talk to me.”

“It’s stupid, Hyunwoo.” He heard her sniffle. His frown was now evident as he looked up and glanced around the semi-crowed room. He stood up, making his way out to find peace somewhere else. His current focus was trying to figure out what was bothering his girl.

“Nothing is ever stupid if my beautiful girl isn’t holding a smile.”

The door shutting allowed his entire focus to be on her. He didn’t want to prod and pry, but his heart felt foreign. He had deeply wished he wouldn’t remember to feel so helpless with distance being a restriction from holding her. The last time he felt like this, he was in the military, unable to whisper calming words in her ears to calm her down.

He watched as she waved her arm in the air, tears falling down her face as he was aware the dam had broken. He was helpless as he watched her cry, her mind feeding her more things to get worked up on.

“Y/N, please talk to me. Open up to me.”

“Hyunwoo, I’m struggling,” She began as Hyunwoo watched as she tried to calm herself down, “I just got you back, and your company thinks it’s best to schedule nonstop. How can I compete for your attention when you’re too tired for me? How is it fair for me to scroll through social media and see the others get to see you, and I can’t? I feel so insecure just watching other people touch you. I-It’s not fair!”

Hyunwoo was silent as he processed what she said. His frown was noticeable as he tried to carefully pick his words.

“Oh, beautiful,” He whispered, wishing he could kiss her tears away, “You shouldn’t ever feel insecure because at the end of the day, they all get pictures, videos, and a silly two-second hand-touch. I come home to you. You get my hugs, my kisses, my love. Everything. I’m yours. I’m all yours.”

Hyunwoo had hoped his words helped her. He was itching to hold her. He had hated all the scheduling the company was doing. He barely had time with her before he was planning for a comeback with Hyungwon. He was exhausted.

“How about I get you a ticket, and you can join us for the last bit of this tour? How would you like that?”

He watched as she sniffled. The idea caused her to smile. Good. He was making progress.

“I’d love that…”

“I would, too. Just prepare for all the kisses you’ll be receiving. My lips are ready to kiss your beautiful face.”

[memorymessage]

re: leaving instagram

i've noticed the subtleties in the transactional interactions on instagram.

if i'm not actively posting bodychecks, people start to forget my existence. even people i thought were genuinely reaching out to me to become friends—they seem to only want to talk to me if i've been posting photos of my body. they only like the stories that are of my body.

(not everybody. you know who you guys are, and i appreciate you endlessly.)

i'm not naïve or foolish—this is what i signed up for. this is what i get for: A: engaging with an app that is personal-photo-based in the first place, and B: fostering a mutual community of people with eating disorders.

i made my bed, now lie in it; i reap what i sow; i dug my own grave, etc, etc.

when i first made the account, i was rabid about posting photos every day. i had been private online for so long that i felt like i was breaking open a dam. i grew up on myspace. i had a camera in my own face every single day. but, after i transitioned as masc years later, i became ashamed of my feminine features. i only posted photos where i passed as masc well enough, which took great effort, make up, and some costume tricks (yes...i may have cut up hair extensions and made myself a beard). and, even then, i would get nervous about posting any photos at all—deathly afraid of my femininity.

there were a few instances where i would create fake social media accounts, give myself a fake name, and post pictures of myself dolled up as femme to the nines. an outlet to release the feminine side of myself without fear, but keeping the entity as far away from the "real" me as possible. but, even that was fake and untrue to myself—wearing makeup i never wore. wearing extensions that were shoved away, tangled, in a box.

i haven't been honestly myself in online spaces in many, many years.

this instagram account was the first time i truly let myself be... me.

but the novelty of posting pictures every day wore on me. i do still have an ed and bdd, after all.

especially when i reached my lowest weight of all time spring of last year. i felt like every picture i posted should be "perfect". the smaller i became, the more i scrutinized myself. looking even the slightest bit too large in any given angle was unacceptable.

the attention i got during that time was also at its peak.

and my mentality from that time regarding photos of myself never recovered.

my weight went up. it became harder and harder for me to want to take pictures. even when i would force myself to take pictures, it became harder to pick one i even wanted to post. not to mention, chronic illness has absolutely debilitated me the past year. most days, i am in bed, in pajamas, in no state (mind and body) to take photos.

and people started talking to me less and less, liking my posts less and less, viewing my stories less and less. the only time people would remember i existed is when i posted an acceptable bodycheck. then i would get a short-lived spike in people liking me again. only to die down until i posted my next check.

people weren't interested in my text posts, or the videos i would share. to put it plainly—people are not interested in me as a person.

why does this matter?

two reasons: it reinforces my bdd-based belief that i am only worth anything if i am thin and pretty. and... i was on myspace trying to be the next audrey kitching scene queen at age 10, meaning attention from others validating my very existence was interwoven into my young, developing brain. and there it yet remains.

and it's not just about other people. taking a good photo of myself gives me sense of pride and rejuvenation so immense that i'll never be able to explain. i assume that feeling also took root from the myspace scene queen days. a new pfp was everything back then, after all. i guess my brain still thinks it is.

my instagram account did not start like this. it used to be a small, casual little place where i would upload daily snaps. and it's sad this is where it has ended.

my insecure little delusions raveled up in themselves, tangling my body and leaving me motionless in fear of judgment. paralyzed.

in short: we're not having fun anymore, and i need to do myself a service and take responsibility for that.

i need to leave.

(for now.)

[fckeverything-v]

 1. Do you bite or lick ice cream? Lick

 2. What is home to you? Alabama:/

 3. What was the last lie you told? I couldnt tell you

 4. Does everyone deserve the truth? Maybe not?

 6. Describe a moment in which you did something unacceptable in a bad situation. Walk away, move states..

 7. List two things that are more easily done than said. (No, I didn't mix them up.) Being alone & fuck irdk

 8. When was the last time you worked really hard to achieve something? Mhm 4 years ago.

 9. How many all nighters have you pulled? A lotttt haha

 10. If humans didn't evolve to laugh or smile, how would we express our happiness instead? Woah people express that? no but humans would probably bone all the time.

 11. How many romantic "things" or "flings" have you had? Only 2 (technically 3) serious relationships. Many flings.

 12. What is your paradise? I dont have one :(

 13. What is your favorite background noise? (Ex. Water dripping, people talking.) Music

 14. How many hearts do you think you have broken? Only 1... maybe 2 soon. (not you hehe.)

 15. What is the most important thing about electronics? What does this say about you? Finding friendships through social media or other platforms. And mhm probably that im a lonely pos

 16. Why do people care about celebrities? Do you care about celebrities? Because they're pretty. Not really.

 17. What is the most annoying thing someone can do to you? Chew loud.

 18. Do you overexaggerate? What are the pros and cons of this? Eh, yeah. And I cant think of any pros.

 19. Have you played any instruments before? Which instruments? Piano, saxophone

 20. Do you like taking selfies? Why or why not? No. I stare at it until i hate it.

 21. List 3 things you like about yourself?

 22. What is the best advice someone has ever given you? To not give up. As simple as that sounds.

 23. Do you have what it takes to raise a child? Why or why not? No. Dont you need to be mentally stable- i would hope so..

 24. How do you cheer yourself up after a bad day? Play games for hours.

 25. When was the last time you felt awkward? Ha. Literally 5 minutes ago.

 26. Are you introverted or extroverted? Or a mixture of both? Introverted x100000

 27. What constitutes a good friend? Someone who doesnt give up on you amd atleast tries to understand.

 28. Would you rather have a lot of friends to hang out with or just one best friend? One best friend.

 29. In a regular day, what do you not want to hear? 'Hey hows your day going'

 30. What is your dream job? Fuck, is this still a question.. to be a homicide detective in the biggest city i can think of.

 31. Is it better to be lazy but smart or hardworking but unintelligent? Lazy and smart DUH

 32. What is a truth about yourself that others find hard to believe?

 33. What have you always wondered about the other gender? What it feels like to GET OFF. DUH.

 34. Which fantasy world would you like to visit the most? Um my own dreams i guess.

 35. Describe the worst friend you have ever befriended. Im not wasting my time describing that.

 36. Imagine that you have switched bodies with someone you don't know. You can't switch back. What do you do? Live it up. I think id feel happy honestly.

 37. If you found the recipe for immortality, would you sell it or would you burn it? Mh. Sell it, their problem now and im rich.

 38. What is the most important, applicable class you have ever taken? Current events.

 39. Name the last book you read. Dammed- chuck palahniuk

 40. Imagine that you are unable to express emotion. How would this affect your world? No change

 41. When was the last time you made the first move? Um never..

 42. What is your opinion on electronic music such as dubstep or trap? Trash

 43. What was the last tv show youve watched? Rick and Morty.

 44. Do you like and appreciate your life? I appreciate what i am trying to do.

 45. Do you like and appreciate yourself?

 46. When was the last time you cried? Yesterday

 47. What are you scared of? Heights.

 48. What is the most embarrassing, cringe-worthy thing you have ever done? Um live my life everyday probably.

 49. What are some of your hobbies? .... literally WORSE question. I smoke cigs. Is that a hobby?

 50. What is a superficial yet annoying mistake you constantly make?

 51. Are you a good friend? What makes you a good friend? If not, what makes you a bad friend? I feel like i am both. I try to be there for them. But also, im so hard to get so i feel like i might come off the wrong way a lot.

 52. Do you honestly learn from your mistakes? Honestly; nope.

 53. What have you learned the hard way? Not to care what people think. After wasting my whole life. Im starting to realize it doesnt matter.

 54. What is the most important thing to have in order to attain happiness? Follow your heart

 56. Are you a creative or a logical thinker? Both but probably logical.

 57. What is the smartest thing you have ever done?

 58. What is your ideal meal? Fuckk probably so good ass chicken with some gooooood asssssss mac and cheese. As lame as that sounds hahaha.

 59. What is the worst thing someone could do on a date? 1. Go on date with me

 60. Do you like animals? Which kind is your favorite? Yeah and dogs are cute but i love elephants.

 61. If you could turn one legal thing illegal, what would it be? Christmas.

 62. Do you have any guilty pleasures? Of courseeeee (;

 63. What is the best thing that the internet has ever created? Video games.

 64. Do you like playing video games? Which video games? Woah you read my mind of sum? Shooter games.

 65. What is your opinion on beauty in today's society? Bullshit

 66. Are you a morning person? When do you usually wake up? No not really and like 5pm nowadays.

 67. Do you have a favorite Disney movie? Character? No

 68. Would you rather live in the city or in the countryside? City but i love the countryside

 69. Would you rather live near the ocean or in the mountains? Mountains

 70. What are the best things about winter? Cold. Even though i hate it. Snow. Even if i dont see it. Trees dying.

 71. What scares you most about the future? Literally everything.

 72. What makes you feel old? Doing nothing.

 73. How many hours do you spend on the computer or phone on average? Idk like 5.

 74. What are some of your New Year's resolutions? Be a better me.

 75. What is your life story in 6 words?

 76. Describe yourself in one word. Awkward.

 77. What bad habits do you do? Smoking

 78. What genre of music do you listen to? everything

 79. Most prominent childhood memory? I would say, but its embarrassing that that's the memory.

 80. Imagine if you had an older brother. If you already have one, what is it like? If you don't, how would this change your life? My life would be so different. Maybe i would have someone to talk to.

 81. Spirit animal?

 82. Do you believe in horoscopes? Yes

 83. What is the worst advice you've ever been given?

 84. List the 3 most important people in your life right now. 1. Fox 2. Fox 3. Fox

 85. Favorite memory of your family. :/

 86. What do you look for in a relationship? Happiness

 87. Do you have a role model? Why or why not? No. I dont need it. But now that i think about it i have one role model.

 88. What is your opinion on social media? Dumb

 89. Are you a pessimist or an optimist? Pessimest

 90. List some things that you think are overpriced? Food

 91. What is your worst memory or creepiest experience? ..

 92. What superpower would ruin the world? Any of them

 93. What is something you swore you would never do when you grew up, but you did anyway? Exactly what im doing now. Nothing. Giving up. Dropping out

 94. What lessons have you learned from movies and which movies were they? Dont trust yourself when you know you arent okay. Fight club

 95. If you could travel anywhere, where would you go? Europe

 96. How do you approach people? I dont but i guess a smile.

 97. What is your opinion on first impressions? I think theyre okay. Only if you dont judge.

 98. What are some things you did as a child that you no longer do? Lol play with imaginary friends

 99. What languages can you speak? English

 100. What do you think society will be like in 30 years? Lol hopefully ill be dead bc that shit sounds terrible

 101. What do you do on your lazy days? Play games.

 102. What ended your last relationship? I had enough.

 103. Favorite food? Soul food

 104. What is the most terrifying dream you've ever had? Fuck im not saying.

 105. When was the last time you got seriously angry? Last night

 106. What was the last friendship you broke? My friend Ashley:(

 107. Do you have any pet peeves? Close minded people

 108. Who was the last person you gave a hug to? Zack

 109. When was the last time you got seriously stressed? Last night

 110. What part of your personality do you want to change? I dont have one.

 111. Who is the most positively influential person in your life right now? My sister Grace.

 112. What is your biggest motivation? My siblings. Faith & Grace.

 113. What did you want to be when you were little? Honestly i never knew.

 114. What are some things that you are good at? Smokin weed

 115. What is one thing you want to be good at? Social skills

 116. What distracts you the most, especially when you're trying to work? My mind

 117. How important is privacy to you? Eh pretty significant i guess.

 118. If you could create one social norm, what would it be? Be friends with everybody.

 119. What's the craziest lie you've ever told? Um.. i told my 2nd grade teacher my family died in a car crash.

 120. What story do you like to tell about yourself at parties? I dont go to parties haaha

 121. What is the lamest thing that you have seen someone do? have friends and socialize too much like woah calm down you know youre still alone.. right. Like its only you. Hahah jk. But irdk.

 122. What is the stupidest thing you've done to impress someone? a guy invited me over and ive never done anything sexual before so i pretended like i knew and i hurt his dick like bad. (We didnt have sex)

 123. What is your morning routine? Wake up, wash face, brush teeth, get dressed, and then boom feel sad

 124. What's the last thing you did that is worth remembering?

 125. If karma was coming back to you, would it help or hurt you? Help

 126. What is your opinion on playing "hard to get?" Being sort of isolated like not opening up. Which is okay bc if they want you they'll wait.

 127. What are the pros and cons of straightforward? Cons, you may hurt feelings. Pro, you know yourself and what you want to say congratulations

 128. What do you consider "leading" someone on? Being fake happy.

 129. Are you the friendzoner or the friendzoned? Friendzoner

 130. What do you admire most about your friends? How beautiful he is. Inside & out.

 131. What do you admire most about your family? They're still here.

 132. What is your opinion on "going with the flow?" You may forget where you are trying to go. Or who you are.

 133. Do you enjoy talking or listening? Listening.

 134. When is it time to end a friendship? Idk

 135. What is the worst excuse you've ever come up with? Lol too many.

 136. If GPA didn't matter, what courses would you have taken? Doesnt matter.

 137. What are your favorite baby names? Ive always liked Riley for a girl name and idk havent thought Bout a boys name.

 138. When was the last time you had a deep conversation with someone? Maybe a week or so ago. Or a few days ago.

 139. What instantly ruins a conversation? Lack of excitement

 140. Biggest turn ons and turn on offs. Affection. And idk

 143. When did you last do something outside of your comfort zone? God every day.

 147. What do you like about the 21st century? ???

 141. Biggest disappointment. Myself

 142. Do you have any self-restraint? A little.

 144. Prized possession(s)? little things

 145. What is your opinion on second chances? They might seem okay but idk.... depends i guess

 146. Text or call? Both, depends on whom im texting or callin

 148. What advice would you give to yourself 5 years ago? Life is hard and stupid but choices you make will stay with you forever so what are you gonna do, follow your heart or head? (head is better hope)

 149. How organized are you? Eh not really anymore.

 150. Favorite mode of transportation. My car

[ibraddersday-blog]

20 years so far.

Hi, my name is Bradley Day. Never received a middle name, guess my parents were too lazy. It is currently 12:53pm as I write this on Friday 16th August of 2019, and to be honest I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm about to explain what I have experienced over the past 20 years frankly because, I know 2 people my age who are like me, the rest are so uptight about who they think they are on their online personas and social media reputations. so I want to find more like me.

in this post im giving you real, the embarrassing, humiliating, funny but stupid truth about my life. seems like thats the only thing that you can't really find anymore... honesty. 

I was born in basildon hospital in Essex on the 10th of November 1998, my mother is Heidi Day, my father being James Day (actual name is Jimmy but we stick to James) I have a older sister called Rebecca Day. apparently I was born with a skin condition were I didn't get enough vitamins which means I was born yellow, a little English asian baby as you will. had to be sat next to a window to get natural vitamins from the sun. but that was all cleared up as a baby and I dont remember it so not important. 

as far as I remember we were a happy family, I was a little shit for my parents but hey I didn't ask to be born. I've never said this but im very thankful for my parents, as a family we went through a few hardships and money never came easy, and no matter what my mum and dad always went out to work and make an honest living to keep a roof over my head and food on the table, people say thats a luxury and may berate us saying thats not hard, but the hard truth is, if you had to worry about where your next meal came from as a kid, your parents didn't work hard enough, and ill be dammed if I let my kids starve a day just because I go lazy for a day.

but out of this happy hardworking family it all changed when I was 4-5, my mum and dad divorced, my dad left and it was me, mum and becky in one house, my dad always tried his best to make it work for him and us. we got by it was just a couple who fell out of love, it's always bummed me out but thats life, move on. 

Thats when I met Lindsey who is now a second mother to me, I made her life hell for a lot of years and so did my sister, Linds if you ever read this im sorry, im sorry for never being the kid you wanted because you couldn't have children and wanted to take on me and becky so you could feel loved as a mother, im sorry I tested your patience every chance I got, im sorry you felt you had to buy me a brand to xbox when the disk tray on mine broke (but thank you cose it was an awesome thing to do) but for most of all, im sorry for never having the guts to admit to you in person how much you really mean to me or impacted my life, you gave me chance after chance at your work and im sorry for letting you down. now for what im thankful for. thank you for kicking me up the ass to do my homework, thank you for putting plasters all over me when I've hurt myself doing something else stupid, thank you for coming with me to the hospital when I got run over just down the road and following matt down countless alleys, thank you for letting my friends come over whenever they wanted as a place to hang out and chill and chat, thank you for not telling mum that there was a grinder in my room when I went back to living at mums, but for most of all, thank you being full of advice, thank you for the honesty you poses wether it hurt or not you were always honest with me, I hope one day I can repay you for all the things you have done for me over the 15\16 years of knowing you, I love you very much. 

school... ugh, primary okay, secondary Jesus Christ what a shit show, now im not stupid but im not smart, education is not my path Im a natural worker and always have been, don’t do suits and smiles I do hi viz clothing and “oh fuck you slag’ spent the better part of it arguing with teachers and trying to be someone im not just to fit in. I had my fair share of bullying but you take it like a man and thats it but back then I thought my world had been crushed, ridiculous I know, kids if you’re being bullied now it may not seem it but it really dont fucking matter, its school thats how it is if you dont like learn from home. now I got pretty bad at one point and made a video and put it online, about how im being bullied and how pissed and upset it Made me and so on, well the school found out and I was forced to remove it, should of just told them too fuck off but it was just hassle that I couldn't be arsed with. year 11 soon flies around and boom left with nothing... great, now college level 1 sport how fucking normal right. well sussed level 1 dropped level 2. 

now work. for the next 2 years I dosed about and went through 8 jobs... yes thats right fucking eight until one came by and that is TGIS at lakeside retail park, now it was a shit job but it taught me a lot, it taught me team work, pace, the importance of showing up for shifts, how vital I am as a cog in that machine,   it taught me how punctuality means everything, I mean I got employee of the month in my first month working there for god sake I pushed hard and getting a reward like that it really hit home, as I never really got anything like that before, I got home and cried in bed as I was so happy for that for once in my life someones recognised me for me and how hard I work, it still gets to me writing this, it means a lot to someone like me. I've since left there for a better job and found one at a container shipping company driving cranes, and I gotta say I think this Is the place I’ll make a career out of, its great pay, get great hours and there are some great guys there who I've grown to become friends with. after countless let downs in my life I’m happy to say I've found somewhere I belong and love. the people I wanna say thank you for are Lex A and Jack R, I love you boys you really pulled me through at TGIS, even though we argued a lot I still value you two a lot. 

now for my life outside of work. I have a few friends being Michael, jack, James and josh. these are the people who are like me, hard working and are making a name for themselves with the help of no-one else. we have all faced great hardships in life and really push to get what we want. but with my friends that want is wanting to get a shitty old RWD and drift it into walls for a laugh, it is pretty funny to be honest. honestly I can say these boys are like family to me they mean more to me than they know and id be there for them in a second if they need me. jack is my longest friend though, we've been friends for 15 years, we met in year 1 in primary school and never stopped since, I would go Into details but its now 1:30am and im tired. 

relationships... I can't do them. dont get me wrong I love the idea of them and would love to be in one but I simply can't do it, I can't deal with other peoples shit as well as my own as I've always dealt with mine on my own not needing someone else, and girls are weird about that shit, all emotional and shit, grow up and move on life is tough if you dont like it theres many ways out, I dont do sorrow or sympathy. but marriage scares me, it freaks me out im not even kidding, the idea of being forced by law to be in a relationship with someone and if the love dies they can take all your shit fucking scares me! who wouldn't be frightened by that! maybe one day ill get over it and take a leap of faith with someone I love but why knows ay. 

and for now right this very second. im happy with who I am, I have nice car, a good job, im single but happily, its easier and less stressful, the key to happiness is a stress free life after all. yeah I may be bit tubby and not in great shape, but im happy with myself and who I see in the mirror, because I know im going to be okay, ill work through my problems that happen in my life, and in the end ill know ill always be okay. 

to whoever is reading this. just know life is easy, the key to happiness is being okay with who you are. yeah theres always improvements that could be made, but if you got a roof over your head, working water and food on the table, you’re doing pretty good in life. just picture life as an English country lane, for the most part its gonna be rocky and bumpy with loads of big potholes but theres always the parts where the road is smooth and freshly done, just gotta keep hanging on to those moments before your turning is up on to the straight and narrow bud, keep pushing and working hard boys and girls, like I was always told “stop being a pussy and get what you want” 

probably be my only ever post here so yeah, maybe someone will read it, who knows!

[lady-une]

Where in the world is Kiseok

Oh boy, so after that little chat with @ssamdominic I went ahead and wrote up the Kiseok story lol. I wrote it quickly last night before sending it off the beta @tears-of-orphans to read through it. Now before anyone jumps all over me this is sooooo a/u lol and I doubt any of the guys would act like this. So just keep that in mind while you are reading it. I also made a cute little moodboard too for the story. Everyone knows where’s waldo right? well this is the where’s Kiseok edition so have fun finding him lol. As always please drop me some love even if its anon style lol and share away.

Word count: 4314

Theme: Friends

Rating: E for everyone lol who the fuck am I EA games? Mature for language

Pairing: Jung Kiseok/Simon Dominc x Reader (F)

Six months, that’s how long it’s been since I have heard from Kiseok. I left a year ago for work, as an attorney my company was hired on to accompany another company over to London to assist them with opening a new branch there. I didn’t want to leave but knew it was best for my career. I convinced myself it wouldn’t be that bad as I was able to fly home often to see my family and friends. Yet somewhere during the first six months I noticed Kiseok was slowly pulling away before he completely cut off communication. It wasn’t just me either, it was all of our friends outside of his work life. I tried my best to get some kind of information about him from everyone at AOMG but they all said he was fine and just working. He wasn’t posting on social media either and the only time I ever saw his face was when he was caught in a picture with Jay or one of the other guys. It was as if he was being locked in some dungeon and only brought out now and then to remind people he was still around. With this stupid contract over I was finally going home and I planned on getting some answers.

When my plane finally landed I quickly collected my bags before grabbing a cab to my apartment. During the cab ride I tried calling him again but was met once again with his voicemail. I left my millionth message before I sent him a text telling him I was home and to call me. When I arrived at my apartment it was already too late to do anything tonight so I just decided to just get settled in. I washed my clothes and made a call to my mom thanking her for filling the fridge with food as I was too tired from my flight to try and grocery shop. After I ate a small dinner and showered I laid down in my bed looking at the pictures on the night stand. There was one of me and my parents and then one of me and Kiseok. Even with all the trips back home the past year I never once got to see him, in fact the last time I saw him was when he brought me to the airport the day I left.

Kiseok was carrying my backpack on his shoulder as he walked me to the security check point. I walked next to him with my eyes trained on the ground, the thought of not being home for a long time made me emotional. The whole morning I was regretting this decision even if it was the best move for my career, I really just didn’t want to leave now. I glanced up just as we reached the rope closing off that area to people not boarding a plane. I turned to Kiseok and glanced up at him only to see him smiling down at me.

“This is where I leave you Y/n, here take your bag. Do you have everything you need? Did you remember your ear plugs and your nausea patch?”

I nod my head yes, he was always the one reminding me of things I probably would have forgotten about. Just as I was the one to make sure he didn’t get lost in his work, we always kept each other grounded and took care of each other.

“Hey now, no tears.”

I didn’t even realize I was crying until he reached out to brush the tears that were slowly making their way down my face. With the touch of his finger on my skin it was as if the dam was broken the I launched myself at him dropping my bag to the floor as the tears fell freely down my face. I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder. Kiseok wrapped his arms around me and ran his hand down my hair trying to comfort me.

“I don’t wanna go.”

“Don’t say that Y/N, you know this what’s best. You need to go and show them how amazing you are at your job. It won’t even be that long, you said you can come back and see your family, so it won’t feel that long. Plus we can call and video chat. It will just be like I am on tour.”

“Who is going to be here to make sure you aren’t working yourself to death? Who will make sure you are eating actual food and not just snacks? Jay and the others are too busy to make sure you’re not killing yourself. You won’t rely on your family either and you know it.”

“Don’t worry about me ok, I am a big boy and will take care of myself. Just promise me you will do the same over there. Don’t over work yourself either, I know how you get and you will stay up all night working and then will try and work off a couple of hours of sleep and loads of caffeine. I am not the only one who doesn’t know how to stop working.”

I laughed and pulled back to look at his face, I took in every curve every inch of him trying to put him to memory as best as I could. Yeah, I would be back here and there but I had a bad feeling. Kiseok was staring back at me as if he was doing the same thing, trying to put my red puffy face to memory and it only made my tears come faster. His hand reached back to my face to brush the tears as they fell.

“Please don’t cry, I want to see your face smiling before you go on that plane. Can you do that for me? If I don’t get a smile I am going to right to your apartment after I leave here and I will burn all of your Bigbang merch, especially your TOP pillow.”

“You wouldn’t!”

“Smile for me or I will.”

I narrowed my eyes at him, the tears had finally stopped. That man knew exactly how to handle me when I fell into my cry baby mode. I couldn’t help but smile when I saw how smuged he looked.

“Good girl, now give me a hug and get your little cry baby ass on the plane.”

“Oppa you don’t play fair.”

He hugged me tight to him and I breathed him in making sure to remember the way he felt and smelt.

“Please be safe and come back to me.”

“I will oppa.”

Kiseok released me from his hold so I could pick up my bag. I walked towards the security entry and right before I walked through the door I looked back once more at him to see him smiling and waving at me.

The memory brought back a fresh wave of tears, I missed him so much. Everyone always wondered why we weren’t together, we were really good together but it just never happened. He only saw me as his little sister while I saw him differently. I truly loved him with all my heart but I kept my feelings to myself. We had been friends since grade school, my family moved here and I would have been an outcast if it wasn’t for him. My father was part of the underworld of crime, so naturally the other kids kept their distance. Except for Kiseok who approached me and took care of me and kept me safe from the bullies. Eventually the other kids came around and started talking to me. Kiseok was also the one to help me when I announced my plans on becoming a lawyer to my family. My father wasn’t happy but my mother was proud of me for wanting to better myself. After some years my father ended his criminal life and opened up a chicken restaurant, he didn’t want to put my career in jeopardy. Kiseok was there to help on the opening day even with him trying to make his own way in the music world. Kiseok was there for everything but now he wasn’t. I reached out grabbing the picture and holding it close sending a silent prayer up that he was ok.

The next day I woke up and ate a small breakfast before I got dressed and headed towards Kiseok’s apartment. I figured it was pretty early in the day so he might still be there sleeping. I rang his bell and called his phone but got no response so I used the passcode to enter his apartment. When I walked in the lights were all off and there were no sounds coming from anywhere. I walked into his room and the bed looked as if it hadn’t been touched in days. His closet was also empty of his clothes. I sat down on his bed and let my head fall into my hands, as far as I knew he had no tours or had anything going on that would take him from home. I pulled my phone from my purse and saw it was still too early for anyone to be at the AOMG office so I decided to just stop by my parent’s house and kill some time there.

Around early afternoon I decided to head down to AOMG to get some answers. As I was walking into the office I happened to run right into Chase and Seonghwa.

“Chase!”

“Y/n when did you get back?”

“I got back last night, say is Jay here yet?”

“Yeah he is up in his office why?”

“I wanted to stop in and say hi.”

“Alright, hey why don’t we all go out for dinner tonight?”

“Sure that sounds good, I will talk to you guys later.”

I quickly turned toward the stairs trying to remain calm and not run up them like a mad woman. I was finally going to get some answers and I wasn’t going to let Jay out of my sight until he gave them to me. I stopped at his door and took a deep breath before giving a light knock.

“Come in.”

I opened the door walking in to see him typing away on the computer not even lifting his head. When I shut the door behind me he finally looked up and smiled at me.

“Y/n when did you get home?”

“Last night.”

“Sit sit, would you like something to drink?”

“Water is fine.”

I sat down in the chair across from his desk as he poured me a glass of water and sat it in front of me.

“So what brings you here?”

“I am going to get right to the point, where the fuck is Kiseok?”

“Ah so that’s why you are here.”

“You had to know this was going to be the first thing I did when I got back. I haven’t heard from him in 6 months Jay. SIX FUCKING MONTHS! I have called you and you feed me the same line that he is fine. Now I want the truth, where is he? I went to his apartment this morning and it doesn’t look like anyone has been there. He isn’t answering any of my messages, it’s like he just disappeared. The only time I see him is if he is in pictures with one of the guys otherwise he isn’t showing up anywhere. So tell me where he is.”

“He is fine Y/n please don’t worry about him.”

“Stop telling me that! Just tell me where he is. Is he sick?”

“No he isn’t sick.”

“Then just tell me.”

“God Y/n it’s not like I have him locked up in some dungeon.”

“Well it sure feels like it because you just keep giving me the run around. If you don’t tell me where he is I’m going to tear this place apart looking for him. I won’t leave without answers Jay.”

“Stop being so dramatic, Kiseok always said you had a dramatic side but this is my first time seeing it.”

“Tell me where HE IS!”

“He isn’t sick and he isn’t in trouble ok, that’s all you need to know.”

I could feel the anger rising and I closed my eyes trying to calm myself down as I held onto the glass of water.

“Jay I am asking you one more time, where the fuck is Kiseok.”

“I am going to tell you one more time, he is fine and don’t worry about it.”

I stand from my chair and hurl the glass over Jay’s head making it hit the wall and shattering it into pieces. Jay sat back in his chair crossing his arms over his chest looking up at me with a smile on his face.

“You can take the girl out of the gang but you can’t take the gangster out of the girl.”

“I will show you a gangster if you don’t produce Kiseok right the fuck now!”

“Ok ok, just relax. You have to know I wasn’t lying when I said he was working, he really is working. You are going to feel really silly after all this.”

“As long as you show me Kiseok I will apologize for all this but until then you are still the bad guy.”

“I thought we were friends.”

“We are but friends don’t keep friends from each other. Now where is he?”

“You are lucky I don’t have anything planned for today, come on let’s go.”

Jay stood from his desk and grabbed his stuff before ushering me out the door and to his car. The whole care ride was spent in silence and the air was thick with tension. I had no idea where we were going and I didn’t know what I would be walking into. I had always feared Kiseok was sick or in trouble because that was the only explanation that I could come up with that would make sense for him to cut communication for this long. Jay eventually pulled up to a building that looked to be a mix of apartments and business spaces. We exited his car and walked into the building taking the stairs down to the lower floor. Jay stopped outside of a door and turned towards me.

“Please just know none of this was my idea ok, this was all on him.”

“Open the door Jay.”

Jay entered the passcode unlocking the door and we stepped in. The lights were dimmed down so Jay turned them up revealing the space. It was the size of a small one bedroom apartment, there was a small living room and kitchen. There were two doors one labeled as a bathroom and one that had a light over the door that was currently on.

“Jay what is this?”

“Just a little space we use when we need space from the main office.”

“What’s behind this door? What is with the light?”

“That’s the recording room, when the light is on that means someone is in there recording.”

I reached for the doorknob turning it but noticed it was locked from the other side.

“He is probably recording.”

“Why is he here Jay? This doesn’t explain anything!”

“He was working on his album but he said he couldn’t concentrate with everything and said he needed to log off from everything. He was stuck, he couldn’t get anything out for weeks. So he turned off everything and packed some bags and came here. He made me promise not to tell anyone where he was. He didn’t want to be distracted with anything because he just wants to get this album done.”

I let out a frustrated growl as my hands went to my hair pulling on it. I took that moment to fully look at my surroundings. A pillow and blanket was thrown across the couch and there were cans and trash laying around. I walked past Jay to the small kitchen and opened the fridge and cabinets only to see more junk food and snacks.

“Jay there is no food in here! Have you not been checking in with him? Jay he needs actual food!”

“He is a big boy, I am not his mother. He can get his own food.”

“You are the only one who knows he is here! He is your responsibility to make sure he is taking care of himself.”

“Now you know he is ok we can go.”

“The hell I will, I don’t know shit. All I know is that he is in this small cramped room that smells. I am not leaving until I see his face.”

“Well then we are waiting.”

We both sat on the couch pushing things away to make room. Minutes went by as we waited for the light to come off, the room was sound proof so I couldn’t hear much from it. I glanced over at Jay to see him on his phone messing with it, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes with how annoyed I was with him. After some time I pulled my phone out to check the time and noticed it has been an hour since we first came here and that light was still on. I reach down and grab my purse having had enough of this waiting game. I walked over to the door and grabbed some things from my purse before I proceeded to pick lock the door.

“Look at you full of all kinds of tricks.”

“This is nothing, we use to unlock the doors to the teacher lounge room to get the good snacks back in school.”

After messing with the door I was finally able to unlock it and opened the door leaving my purse on the floor. I expected to see him in the middle of a song but instead I found him slumped over his keyboard. I rushed over to him and tried to shake him gently to wake him. From the looks of the room it’s as if he was sleeping in here as well with a sleeping bag on the floor and more snack bags and water bottles on the floor.

“Oppa wake up, please wake up. It’s me Y/n, wake up.”

Kiseok slowly stirred in his chair before slowly opening his eyes and looking up at me with a confused look on his face. It took him a minute to register that I was actually there.

“Y/n.” He said with a smile on his face.

“Oppa come on let’s get you up.”

I slowly helped him to his feet but he was still unsteady on his own so I put his arm around my shoulder and helped him out of the room.

“Jay I am taking him out of here. Is his car here?”

“No he didn’t bring it.”

“Then drive us to my place.”

Jay helped me get him to the car and sat him in the backseat where I also climbed in after him. Kiseok leaned up against me before closing his eyes and falling back to sleep.

“Jay what the fuck. How could you let him get this way.”

“I am sorry Y/n, I mean he said he was fine. Whenever he came out he was fine, I had no idea it was like this.”

“I swear to god Jay if there is anything wrong with him I will kill you myself.”

When we arrived at my apartment Jay helped me bring him in and sat him down on my bed before excusing himself. I left him on the bed as I walked into the attached bathroom and turned the shower on. I then walked out and over to the dresser grabbing his sleep pants he always left here. I laid them on the bed and bent down to look at Kiseok.

“Oppa, I need you to get up and shower. Can you do that?”

He nodded his head and stood walking over to the bathroom entering it and closing the door slightly. With him in the shower I decided to make him some soup as he probably hadn’t eaten anything home cooked in who knows how long. The soup was pretty basic and didn’t take long to make, just as I was taking it off the stove I heard the shower finally turn off. I poured some soup into a bowl and also served him some rice before setting it at the kitchen counter for him to eat. As I was cleaning up the kitchen I heard his shuffling feet coming down the hall and couldn’t help but smile. Before I could turn to face him I felt him come up from behind me and hugging me close to his body. I stayed that way letting him hold me and heard him sigh before I felt him relax which allowed me the chance to turn around in his arms putting my arms around his waist. I looked up at his tired face and felt my smile slip.

“Oppa…why? Why did you do this? You don’t even look like my oppa, you look like a zombie.”

“I had no choice, I needed to get this done. Everyone is pressuring me for this new album and it was so much stress. I had a mental block and nothing was coming out.”

“You should have told me, I would have helped you through this.”

“I couldn’t tell you, you would have jeopardized everything and came home. I didn’t want to do that.”

“That’s not important, you are what’s important. I knew this was going to happen. No one was here to take care of you.”

“Your back now.”

“Yes I am and you are not allowed to ever go back to that place. In fact you are not allowed to leave this apartment until I say so. You need REAL food and rest. If anyone gets upset with this I will take responsibility, I will put them in their place.”

“My girl grew up, who is this strong woman standing in front of me.”

“Oppa I am still that little scared girl but I need to be strong right now, I can’t stand to see you like this.”

I pulled away to drag him to the chair making him sit down to eat. I sat down next to him and watched him devour the food before he asked for another bowl which I happily served him. He asked me why I wasn’t eating and I just replied that I was full from just watching him eat. With his stomach nice and full he sat back in his chair and rubbed his belly with a silly smile on his face.

“I missed your cooking Y/n.”

“Go lay down in bed, I will clean up in here.”

“No leave that for tomorrow.”

Kiseok stood and grabbed my hand before leading the way back to the bedroom. He pulled the covers back before climbing in and dragging me along with him. I smiled as I snuggled into his chest.

“I missed you Y/n.”

“I missed you too oppa.”

“You’re really not going to let me out of this apartment?”

“Nope, you better deal with it. This little stunt of yours is not cool oppa. I am very mad at you and at Jay for going along with this stupid plan. Do you have any idea of how worried you had me?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you worried. I won’t do it ever again.”

“Good cause I don’t plan on ever giving you the chance to do this again.”

“Oh really? How are you going to do that?”

“Well you will either have to move in here or I move into your apartment.”

The room was silent and I felt maybe I had gone too far. This whole time apart made me realize I didn’t want to waste any more time apart from him. I needed to make a move if I wanted to be happy.

“What are you getting at Y/n?”

“What I am trying to say is that I don’t want to be apart from you anymore. I am probably going to be way out of line here but to hell with it. I like you Kiseok….no I love you. Not just as a friend but like in the way that the thought of you with another woman drives me crazy.”

“Are you telling me the truth?”

“I would never lie to you oppa.”

“Wow I had no idea.”

“I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

I try to move away and off his chest but he held me close to him not allowing me to escape.

“Where do you think you are going.”

“I went too far, I was just trying to give you some space.”

“You didn’t do anything of the sort. If anything, I feel little ashamed that you made that confession before I could.”

“What?”

“Y/n I have been in love with you for years but never made a move because I didn’t want to lose you.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, wow I feel silly. I should have said something first not you.”

“I won’t tell anyone.”

I looked up at him as he looked down at me and smiled before bending down and taking my lips with his. The kiss was soft and sweet, his lips felt like home and I smiled into the kiss before we broke up apart.

“Oppa don’t think you are off the hook just because you kissed me.”

“Hmm, maybe I need to do something else to get you to forget about my little stunt.”

I laughed as he brought the blankets fully over us. The world felt right with him wrapping himself around my body. Nothing could top this feeling right now, but he better be prepared for an encore performance because I knew I wouldn’t get enough of him.

[womenofcolor15]

Fans Let Young Thug Know They Aren’t Feeling Him Saying Jay-Z Doesn't Have 30 Songs They Know + Thugga Wants To Battle Lil Wayne In VERZUZ

Social media users commenced a Twitter dragging of Young Thug after he made some comments about rap icon Jay-Z. Find out what he said, plus who Thugga would like to battle in VERZUZ inside…

Some things are just not up for debate. Like, Jay-Z being one of the greatest Hip Hop legends…period. There’s no arguing this.

However, people are entitled to their own opinions. Except these days when you share your opinions, you’ll get strong reactions from folks who either agree or disagree with you. 

Young Thug decided to enter the group chat about Hip Hop greats and how many hits they have. And dude really woke up and chose ignorance on that day.

The Atlanta rapper mentioned Jay-Z during Gillie Da King and Wallo267’s “Million Dollaz Worth of Game” podcast, saying the Hip Hop pioneer didn’t have a solid 30 tracks that his fans could recite word for word. HIS fans.....meaning Thugga's 12-year-old stans?  Probably.  But since when are a group of 12 year olds who think mumble rap is art the end-all, be-all definitive reresentation of "fans"?

In so many words, Thugga alluded to having more “stadium hits” than Jay-Z, but quickly rolled that back when the co-hosts began to react.

“Jay-Z hasn’t got 30 songs like that,” Thugga said before switching it up.

”I’m just saying like, I know he do, he probably got 50 of them bitches, I”m not literally saying him. I’m saying n***** who you thinking … I seen n***** like, ‘Damn, they don’t know this song?’ I’m so scared to get boo’ed, I don’t even perform songs they won’t know.”

Peep the clip below:

“Jay-Z don’t got 30 songs like that”

We’re dropping the video of episode 93 with Young Thug at 7:30 tonight.

Listen to the audio now: https://t.co/fSrVbeMjiX pic.twitter.com/gZbkHy7AYZ

— MILLION WORTH OF GAME (@mworthofgame) December 28, 2020

As you know, the Internet has zero chill. Folks made sure to gather Thugga for his comments about the rap GOAT.

Young Thug really think he has more hits than Jay Z.... pic.twitter.com/eMf7Eqp18G

— THIRDWARDTHRILLS (@thirdwardtrilll) December 29, 2020

25 years of rapping and Jay-Z don't have 30 songs that a stadium knows and Young Thug does?

Bruh.....cmon

— Keith Nelson Jr (@JusAire) December 29, 2020

young thug really said that he’s better that jay-z? this 2020 is crazy pic.twitter.com/xJjenVtsHR

—  (@FABIOTHEEBARB) December 29, 2020

Young Thug and Jay-Z have Stans. But folks need to understand the difference between having favorites and measuring overall skill/impact. As someone who has had Hov debates with homie's hardcore followers I also understand he is a top 5-3 MC. Some of y'all r doing too much.

— Keith Murphy (@murphdogg29) December 29, 2020

Lemme just place this here for Young Thug. pic.twitter.com/1lr7T3x6He

— Tony Baker (@TonyBakercomedy) December 29, 2020

Well Young Thug says that Jay Z doesn't have 30 songs everyone know but Humm I can count up to 40 with no features and he is a certified BILLIONAIRE so which would you rather be pic.twitter.com/vdcx9bIuil

— damon shields (@godjdamon) December 29, 2020

First it was Andre 3000 and now Thugger saying JAY Z doesn’t have 30 songs people will know

Young Thug needs to just stop talking on legends and focus on releasing PUNK pic.twitter.com/kcI0z77m1Y

— King Wow (@wowthatshiphop) December 28, 2020

In the words of Rihanna during that EPIC beef with Ciara, "Good luck filling that stadium you speak of, Thugga."

Also…

Young Thug says the first time he met Lil Wayne, Wayne gave him the cold shoulder. pic.twitter.com/vYv7Ws4ry4

— Everything Georgia (@GAFollowers) December 29, 2020

”The London” rapper revealed who his dream VERZUZ opponent would be. And it would be none other than Lil Wayne!

“It would probably have to be like [Lil Wayne],” he said. “Because you got to think—we got to talk about influence. We got to talk about everything. We got to talk about everything. It’s not just about no rap.”

“You got to understand, as rapper, as hip-hop artists, you can only go so far,” he added. “I always just focused on the next level.”

Who would you bet your money on? As much as we can't stand the gremlin-in-chief, Thugga has Weezy's name tatt'd on him.  So, it's clear who will win that one 20-0.

You can watch the full hour-long interview below:

As for his personal life...

Young Thug wants everyone to know...he's single. And has been supposedly separated from his longtime girlfriend, Jerrika Karlae.

"Been single for dam near 2 years now," he wrote on IG Stories. "Stop thinking everything about me."

Thugga put the post up right after Jerrika said she was bringing in the new year SINGLE. She also made accusations that Thugga was abusive towards her.

single 2021...

— IG : OKAYKARLAE (@OkayKarlae) December 27, 2020

"Why misuse and abuse something or someone, why not leave them be! That’s some narcissistic shit," she tweeted and then deleted. "You behind the scenes painting pictures of me, like ima f*cked up individual…when you the devil."

It was all good earlier this year....

Photo: Jamie Lamor Thompson/Shutterstock.com/AP

[Read More ...] source http://theybf.com/2020/12/29/fans-let-young-thug-know-they-aren%E2%80%99t-feeling-what-he-said-about-jay-z-respectfully

[hip-indeed]

was tagged by the great mighty @dogjpeg​ so i gotta comply.....

5 Things You’ll Find In My Bag: 

(i have a bag?  uh)

a 3ds and one of those thingies that hold like 50 ds/3ds games

a cell ........... phone.....w/ high quality earbuds

a little sketchpad w/ a lead pencil in the spine that i’ll Probably never Use but always intend to at some point

probably at least 1 cute little bauble of some kind of pokemon or other charming or nostalgic game character to give me Strength

a tiny zen garden you can keep in a little box

5 Things In My Bedroom:

(well my bedroom really pretty much just has my bed itself so im adding my ‘media room’, most this stuff would’ve also been squeezed into my bedroom in the past somehow anyway)

big ol tv w/ tons of consoles i barely play in shelving underneath it

big ol L-shaped computer desk w/ the computer im always on at it, as well as art supplies i dont use enough and a journal and lots of other stuff on it

big ol shelf loaded with books, most of which are either goofy video game / cartoon art books or comic compilations or strategy guides, or normal books that i’ve mostly yet to start or finish oops

lots of weird lil pieces of modern art like a tangled up blue glassblown... thing, a weird little giraffe-shaped mirror with an orange backdrop, or my friend @mekellioz ‘s own very 90s pop art lookin’ futurescape thing that i love 

a wall covered in perlers made by my brother and lil cousin (mostly of NES sprites)

5 Things On My To-Do List:

DRAW.  DRAW DRAW DRAW FINALLY BECOME THAT ARTIST YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO.  YOU HAVE THE TIME AND THE MEANS LFKJSF

also digital music stuff

also programming stuff / messing around more with that Game Maker Studio copy you got for cheap a few months ago...

also keep up more and better with the rest of your laundry list of daily healthy habits like journal-writing, mindfulness meditation, exercise and chore-doing..

finish playing all these GOT DAM games you get in the middle of and leave, like breath of the wild, night in the woods and Literally Every Single Pokemon Game After Gen 2 (speaking of which, start that draw-a-pokemon-a-day blog already...)

Five Things People May Not Know About Me:

i was diagnosed with ADHD in 2nd grade and after years of ritalin seemed to make me more and MORE hyper i stopped taking it and figured ADHD was the least likely psychiatric thing i had... now i’m 30 and trying adderall and it seems to be working better by a long shot than any other psychiatric medication ever has :|

i was actually in the gifted kids program throughout school up until highschool, everyone thought i’d be a major scientist or something, whoops

my distance vision is so poor even with glasses that i cannot drive, which actually makes me legally blind apparently but i’m nowhere near bad enough to need a seeing-eye dog or anything like that.  it’s quite a spectrum i guess. also hooray for uber

i got into a really really nice art school somehow that i always wanted to go to and everyone has only good things to say about and i hated absolutely everything about it so badly that i quit within a week (i won’t say the school was bad, just that it really wasn’t for me like i’d thought -- and yes, for many reasons beyond just having anxiety)

i’ve met and at least had one small conversation with... *thousands* of people online over the years, and that’s not an exaggeration.  at least once a week or so on average for the last ~17 years I’ve either logged onto a chat or forum or social network or game and tried talking to someone new, or just tried hitting someone up that seemed cool.  Despite having overwhelming, downright *crippling* social anxiety in real life, online I’m like a version of Johnny Bravo that’s targeting anyone rather than just girls, and for friendship rather than love interest (well, usually).

Also: did you know I give way too much thought to the replies of these?

tagging @mekellioz since i already did anyway, @manicrodent @ zapdos23590  @kawaiichiimera B) and anyone else who feeels like it

[newstfionline]

Headlines

The stimulus effect (NYT) The United States went into the Great Lockdown with the most household debt in history, stagnant incomes for all but high earners and armies of people telling pollsters they were living paycheck to paycheck. Then, for millions, their paychecks stopped. But instead of a stampede to the bankruptcy courts, personal bankruptcy filings—a useful, if extreme, indicator of the financial health of the American consumer—dropped sharply from April through June, even as unemployment soared. One reason for this counterintuitive picture: The federal government’s stimulus package, which, beginning in April, has put cash into unemployed people’s hands on a weekly basis, allowing them not just to buy groceries and pay rent, but to pay down existing debt.​

Facing uncertain fall, schools make flexible reopening plans (AP) Administrators in the Parkway school district in suburban St. Louis spent the summer break crafting a flexible reopening plan, with options that include full-time classroom learning, full-time online instruction and a hybrid system. It’s a good thing because the dangers of the coronavirus are so uncertain that district officials are reluctant to make predictions about the fall semester, which begins in only five weeks. Confirmed coronavirus infections in Missouri’s hardest-hit city waned in June, but they are now spiking, along with hospitalizations. Schools plan to resume classes Aug. 24. “If you had asked me even two weeks ago, ‘Do you think we would be able to come back?’ I would have said, ‘Yeah,’” Assistant Superintendent Kevin Beckner said. “Today my answer is ‘I’m not sure,’ just because of how the situation has changed so quickly.” Schools around the U.S. face the same dilemma. With the number of reported COVID-19 cases and deaths still rising, districts must grapple with whether to bring students back to classrooms, and how to keep pupils and teachers safe if they do.

Vulnerable Border Community Battles Virus (NYT) On a sweltering day last week near the southern tip of Texas, where high rates of poverty and chronic illness have heightened the ferocity of the coronavirus, Dr. Renzo Arauco Brown made his rounds, checking on patients who were facing severe complications from the virus and barely hanging on to life. The now-chaotic special infectious disease unit where he works has been clobbered with new admissions in recent weeks. As the coronavirus expands its destructive path across the United States, it is bearing down on some of the places most vulnerable to its devastation—places like the southernmost wedge of Texas, on the border with Mexico, which has seen a punishing surge in infections. In the Rio Grande Valley, more than a third of families live in poverty. Up to half of residents have no health insurance, including at least 100,000 undocumented people, who often rely on under-resourced community clinics or emergency rooms for care. Tick off the list of risk factors for developing severe complications from the virus and you will have described this margin of the country: More than 60 percent of residents are diabetic or prediabetic. The rates of obesity and heart disease are among the nation’s highest. More than 90 percent of the population is Latino, a group that is dying from the virus at higher rates than white Americans are.

Mexican president sticks to no-war approach after shocking cartel video (Reuters) Mexican President Andres Manuel Lopez Obrador said on Monday he would maintain a less confrontational approach to battling drug gangs even after one of Mexico’s most powerful cartels showcased its firepower in a video that stunned Mexicans. A video purportedly shot by the Jalisco New Generation Cartel (CJNG), showing dozens of armed gang members in bullet proof vests in front of armored cars painted in military-style camouflage, went viral on social media on Friday. Lopez Obrador said he would not repeat the mistakes of previous administrations that failed to contain cartel violence, which surged after former President Felipe Calderon launched a military-led crackdown on the gangs in late 2006. “Violence cannot be confronted with violence, fire cannot be extinguished with fire, evil cannot be confronted with evil,” he said. “Evil must be confronted with good.” Lopez Obrador said his government would face down gangs with intelligence rather than force, focusing on poverty and other root causes of crime.

Insults, slammed fists: EU virus summit goes into 4th day (AP) Weary and bleary, European Union leaders were gearing up Monday for a fourth day of fighting over an unprecedented 1.85 trillion-euro ($2.1 trillion) EU budget and coronavirus recovery fund, barely recovered from a weekend of walkouts, fists slamming into tables and insults. “It looks more hopeful than when I thought during the night: ‘It’s over,’” said Dutch Prime Minister Mark Rutte, the target of much of the criticism. It was planned as a two-day summit scheduled to have ended Saturday, but there are deep ideological differences between the 27 leaders forced the talks into two extra days. Rutte, defending the cause of a group of five wealthy northern nations—the Netherlands, Austria, Finland, Sweden and Denmark—sought to limit costs and impose strict reform guarantees. He came under criticism from Macron, Italy and Hungary, whose Prime Minister Viktor Orban asked why the Dutchman had such “hate” toward him.

‘Selfless’ Bedford faith group hands out thousands of meals (BBC) A faith group that has made more than more than 18,000 meals for key workers during the coronavirus pandemic has been praised as “selfless”. The Sri Guru Ravidass Sabha group in Bedford started cooking for NHS, police, and care home staff in April. It has now stopped making dinners for key workers, but will continue to cook for homeless and vulnerable people. Group president Jaswinder Kumar, who is a full-time postman, said his team of 10 volunteers “have done a fantastic job, but we didn’t think we would be doing it for so long”. “We have all got a little bit tired, but you get excited when you can help others,” he said.

India Rounds Up Critics Under Shadow of Virus Crisis, Activists Say (NYT) After spending several anxious days in prison, Natasha Narwal, a student activist accused of rioting by the New Delhi police, thought her ordeal was nearing an end. A judge ruled that Ms. Narwal had been exercising her democratic rights when she participated in protests earlier this year against a divisive citizenship law that incited unrest across India. But shortly after the judge approved Ms. Narwal’s release in late May, the police announced fresh charges: murder, terrorism and organizing protests that instigated deadly religious violence in India’s capital. Ms. Narwal, 32, who has said that she is innocent, was returned to her cell. As India struggles to quell surging coronavirus infections, lawyers accuse the authorities of rounding up government critics and keeping them in detention in the middle of a pandemic. It is part of a strategy, they say, to stifle activists who are protesting what they see as iron-fisted and anti-minority policies under Prime Minister Narendra Modi. In recent weeks, Ms. Narwal and nearly a dozen other prominent activists—along with potentially dozens of other demonstrators, though police records are unclear—have been detained. They are being held under stringent sedition and antiterrorism laws that have been used to criminalize everything from leading rallies to posting political messages on social media. Law enforcement officials in New Delhi, who are under the direct control of India’s home ministry, have denied any impropriety. But rights groups say the arrests have been arbitrary, based on scant evidence and in line with a broader deterioration of free speech in India.

Flooding in Asia (Foreign Policy) Nearly four million people in Nepal and India’s northeastern state of Assam have been displaced by heavy flooding caused by monsoon rains. Officials on Sunday said that 189 have died so far in the flooding, caused by an overflowing Brahmaputra River. “The flood situation remains critical with most of the rivers flowing menacingly above the danger mark,” Assam Water Resources Minister Keshab Mahanta told Reuters. In China, authorities dynamited a dam on the Chu river, a tributary of the Yangtze, in an attempt to lower water levels swollen by heavy rainfall. The rains have caused 1.8 million people in the country’s central and southern regions to be evacuated so far.

Hong Kong leader says coronavirus now spreading ‘out of control’ (AFP) The deadly coronavirus is spreading out of control in Hong Kong with a record 100 new cases confirmed, the finance hub’s leader said Sunday as she tightened social distancing measures to tackle the sudden surge in infections. The finance hub was one of the first places to be struck by the virus when it emerged from central China. But the city had impressive success in tackling the disease, all but ending local transmissions by late June. However, in the last two weeks, infections have spiked once more and doctors fear the new outbreak is now spreading undetected in the densely packed territory of 7.5 million people.

COVID-19 moves South Korea's mud festival online (Reuters) When a pandemic threatens a good romp in the mud, some South Koreans bring the mud home with them instead. The popular Boryeong Mud Festival, halted this year because of COVID-19, instead became an online celebration of soil, with people from around the country enjoying mud pools and mud packs in their homes—and streaming the dirty results. The annual mud extravaganza, in Boryeong on the coast 130 km (80 miles) southwest of the capital Seoul, is South Korea’s most popular festival for international visitors. They typically flock to the beach in their hundreds for mud slides, mud wrestling and other revelry. Boryeong launched the festival on Daecheon Beach in 1998 to rejuvenate a local economy hit by the Asian financial crisis. The event promoted mud-based cosmetics said to be good for the skin—turning what is known as a dirty beach into one of South Korea’s biggest tourist attractions.

The lights go out on Lebanon’s economy as financial collapse accelerates (Washington Post) Most parts of Lebanon are receiving no more than two or three hours of electricity a day. An incoming flight at Beirut’s airport had to abort a landing this month because the lights on the runway went out. The traffic signals in the capital have stopped working, adding to the congestion on Beirut’s already chaotic streets. These are among the latest symptoms of an economic implosion that is accelerating at an alarming pace in Lebanon as its government, its banks and its citizens run out of foreign currency simultaneously. The collapse is the result of decades of economic mismanagement, corruption and overspending. Hopes for a rescue are fading as the country’s ruling elites balk at the kind of reforms and outside scrutiny that would unlock international aid. Talks with the International Monetary Fund to secure a $10 billion loan have stalled. Known as an oasis of prosperity and relative stability during the past decade of Middle East turmoil, Lebanon is descending into poverty, despair and potentially chaos. Economists are now predicting a Venezuela-style collapse, with acute shortages of essential products and services, runaway inflation and rising lawlessness—in a country at the heart of an already unstable region.

Egypt parliament backs deployment abroad after Sisi says could intervene in Libya (Reuters) Egypt’s parliament on Monday approved the deployment of armed forces abroad to fight “criminal militias” and “foreign terrorist groups” on a “western front”, after President Abdel-Fattah al-Sisi said Cairo could intervene in Libya. The decision came after Sisi said last week that Egypt would not stand idle if there was threat to national security in Egypt and its western neighbour, Libya, if parliament gave its approval. Shortly beforehand the Egyptian presidency said Sisi had agreed with U.S. President Donald Trump to maintain a ceasefire in Libya and avoid any escalation.

Home learning, reopening schools especially hard in Africa (AP) Lessons via radio or TV. Math problems in newspapers. Classes on Zoom or WhatsApp. The options for African students to keep studying while schools remain closed because of the coronavirus pandemic seem varied, but the reality for many is that they will fall behind and possibly drop out of school forever—worsening inequality on an already unequal continent. “I think education now is more of an emergency than the health issue,” said Dr. Mary Goretti Nakabugo, a literacy expert who runs a Uganda-based education nonprofit called Uwezo, noting that there have been no reported virus deaths and just over 1,000 cases in Uganda. Children “are completely helpless at the moment.” Although the pandemic has disrupted education across the globe, the schooling crisis is more acute in Africa, where up to 80% of students don’t have access to the internet and even electricity can be unreliable, making distance learning difficult, if not impossible. Schools also often provide a refuge to vulnerable children, offering services that their families cannot afford.

[sayantandodo]

Celebrity’s common ripe secrets and HelloStar Media’s perception

There are so many secrets of celebrities. Most of the story is about struggles and determinations. Bon Jovi was a pen seller before becoming a rock star, Jonny Depp was restaurant servant before becoming an actor. There are so many examples. Many porn stars became an actress in Hollywood. Cameron Diaz was in the adult industry for so many years before becoming a successful actress. The most exciting matter is when the matter is tough to be an actor or actress the upcoming celebrities have to enjoy adulthood. In Bollywood, there are many actors and actress was adult stars before they made their debut. Even the shocking example is Amir Khan; he made some adult films at the beginning of his career. People know about sunny leone also. But when someone read my writing here they will know about HelloStar Media. This organization helps common peoples and fans to come closer to their adorable stars or celebrities. Whether it is good or bad but we enjoy the stars, their acting, dancing, speaking, everything is beautiful on the screen. Casting couch is not an extraordinary point now for any industry. Even in local small industries following the protocol. For Tollywood, the film industry of West Bengal Paoli Dam is a good example.

We all know that celebrities live on their fan base. Even today the social media stars become celebrities. Many beautiful talented Instagram stars and TikTok stars become popular these days. They are kids’ not even adults, but they still manage to get millions of followers. Even many female and male models become light capturer showing their hypnosis. They are very sexy and matured by their body. Fans love them. New age stars are very attractive by their voice and music talents also. Many talented models will fail before them, and the most important item is they are fearless, they never back down, and they love to fail because they know they will win even they got failed. The Facebook memers are the same, they challenge the society to accept the change. They are the change of gratitude of the social voice. The line of Rabindranath Tagore is very pertinent here, “AMRA NOTUN JOUBONER DUT”. He wrote is many years ago but it is still very important to us. They will break the fence; they will make new rules in the garden; they are unsteady; they are the spark of the thunder; they are the new generation.

Now let’s talk about HelloStar Media. It is an Augmented Reality based celebrity shout out process. It is a process which makes celebrities to come closer to their fans in both ways. The HelloStar team believes that there is a bigger untapped opportunity in India for the shout-out process, considering the craze around celebrities and influencer in India. The main objective behind starting up HelloStar is to shelter influencers in our business. Consuming the time, we want to spawn multiple revenue streams for them. Each influencer or celebrity who is listed on the HelloStar platform will get a satisfying rate. The user can click on their favourite celebrity and make a payment. He or she receives a shoutout within the next seven days. Any Bollywood celebrities who are used to be very close to his or her fans and care for their fans can join us. HelloStar invites all. The influencers who stands on the platform made by their fans can easily make another source of money income. There are many content creators in local parts of India. Many of them got the golden play button from Youtube also. They feed on millions of Indian subscribers. The most interesting part is that the teenage and youngster public doesn’t miss any of their videos. The educated young population loves virtual reality. Most of them wait for their beloved show to come in a different way with different content.

[moyconsulting]

Generating Leads for Roofing in Winter (Stay Busy All Year Round)

Man, January's are tough. There's no roofing work in the winter. The same way that homeowners believe that roofers don't work in the winter is the same way that you believe that there's not enough roofing work in the month of January, February or March. That's all the mindset thing up here. Many of my clients are seeing six-plus leads every single day from their online presence in the month of January.

  My name is Mats Moy and for the best advice on generating roofing leads online. Be sure to subscribe to my channel and hit that notification bell so that you get notified every single time I drop a new video, every Wednesday.

The truth is there are still many roofing companies out there getting the work done in the middle of January. And the one thing that many of them have in common is that they have a system online to be visible because homeowners, they still need some roofing work done. And just because it's too cold for you to get out there and knock some doors doesn't mean there's no work.

The one thing that you have missing is, having a system online to continuously produce roofing leads for you. Whether there's a storm, or it's too cold outside or it's raining, doesn't matter. If you have a system online to continuously produce leads for your company, doesn't matter rain or shine, you're getting some phone calls.

The roofing companies that I work with are still getting leads and minus 20 whether, that's negative four for my American friends, and so should you. So by the end of this video, I'm gonna share with you what they're doing to generate those leads and how you can do the same.So let's dive right in.

Quick side note, I have a few spots open for a free one on one call with myself about my Roofing Lead Generation Training program. So if you're interested in getting enrolled, the link for that is in the description down below. And I'll also be talking a little bit more about that at the end of this video. So be sure to stick around and watch it till the very end.

What do  successful roofing companies do to generate leads during winter season?

So what is it, that all of these roofing companies that I'm working with right now are doing in the winter time to be able to still get that phone ring? If you haven't already, be sure to check out my interview testimonial with one of my clients, Zach Slaven. I did this just a few weeks ago, where he shares that in the middle of January. He's still getting six phone calls a day, and he's still replacing roofs out there, all right? So this is no excuse for you to say, "Oh, there's no work in the winter, "there's no this, there's no that." They're more than definitely is, it's a matter of you changing your mindset. And getting out there getting that phone to ring, right by any means necessary. You can go out there, knock the doors, put on the gloves, get the jacket on, put the tuck on, get the scarf, everything. And get out there and knock some doors. Or you can have a system set up within your business that will continuously produce leads for you.

Whether it's winter or summer, we wanna keep you busy all year round. Now, there's specific things that you can do as far as your online presence goes for you to be able to generate those leads. Because a lot of you are only thinking roofing, right? With the roof comes a lot of other components, right? And that's what we're gonna be talking about today.

So, number one, repairs, right? Repairs, repairs happen regardless, right? Whether it's raining, whether it's shining, whether it's snowing, repairs, homeowners always need repairs, there's always those leaks. And with the snow there, right? The snow sitting on the roof, some of its gonna find its way inside the home and start dripping.

Now what are you currently doing to be visible online When those leaks are happening, right? The truth is, the phone should be ringing off the hook when it's snowing. When that freeze thaw cycle happens, right? The snow starts to melt, and the water starts to get inside the home.

Guess what the homeowner is gonna start to do, "Oh, something is wrong with my roof, right?" They're gonna get on the phone, or they're gonna head over to their computer, start looking up reputable companies who are local. The guys that are actually still open, right? Unlike some roofing companies who don't think there's any work out there. Which when there actually is, they're gonna look up that company, see who happens to show up and give them a call to come out and take a look, right?

For some of you guys, you guys don't even wanna work during the wintertime and I get that, right? Maybe it's too much, too much hassle you wanna maybe take a break, when you go fishing, you wanna go do this, do that, that's fine.

The very first way that most roofing clients of mine generate leads throughout the winter is utilizing the facts that there are tons of repairs that are necessary. So regardless of the condition, people will always gonna have repairs or people homeowners are always gonna think that they need repairs. Where it might not turn out to be repairs altogether.

So how do we get in front of these guys, right? It's a matter of being visible online. Are you visible? Are you active? Are you doing everything in your power as a business owner, or as a sales rep, to make sure that people know exactly who you are? What your company offers?

Because again, the huge myth here is that roofers don't work in the winter. It's too cold outside, where you and I both know that's not true, right? You can get work out there. And I know this because I have clients that are actively doing work in the winter. Some of them are doing full roof replacements, you might say to yourself, "Oh, it's not as severe as it is over here where I'm at," but guess what, I guarantee you've driven by and you've seen a roofer, on some roof, doing some kind of work, you notice these things most people don't. But if you're in the roofing industry, you notice these things. And so you really can't use that as an excuse, because it's just what it is, an excuse.

So get in front of your homeowners, what things can you do today to let people know that this is what you do, whether it be a social media post, or Google My Business post, right?

And if you haven't already, comment down below to let me know if you want access to my nine page guide. Just comment GMB below I'll make sure that you get the download link for the Google My Business listing, right? And so this listing itself, this guide that I have, it's helped so many different roofing companies get visible online. So comment GMB, if you want a copy sent over to you, and I'll make sure that you get to it.

What if the roofing repair leads are low?

So the second way that most roofing companies that I work with, generate leads from is the stuff that has nothing to do with the roof.

Well, they have something to do with the roof but they're not the roofing in itself, right? It's not repairs, it's more gutter work, right? Gutter, attic insulation, things of that nature. So those things that are, are pertaining to the roof, things that are directly correlated to the roof. That actually needs to be fixed in order to not have let's say, a leak, or an ice damming situation, right?

A lot of commercial buildings have tons of ice damming going on, right? And they need to be able to get in touch with a roofing company that can come out and service them.

I know so many different roofing companies that completely shut down during the winter. Which is a huge opportunity for the smaller guys, the guys that are hungry, the guys that wanna grind the guys that need to provide for their families to go out there and actually do a such a great job for that property, for that homeowner that you get to come out and give them a full estimate. When the time is right, when spring is around the corner and you can actually do a full roof replacement. Alright, so that's a huge opportunity for you, eaves troughs, gutters.

You have the attic insulation. These are you know, the downspouts, these things freeze, clog and they need to be repaired. These are huge opportunities for you, to pick up those low hanging fruit and be able to service those homeowners as property managers so that they're happy with the work that you do.

How to end the winter roofing season with a long list of lined up roofing jobs ready for spring?

And lastly, one thing that I'm really looking for you guys to push out there is to offer something so ridiculous that you get to sign a contract with a homeowner who has all intentions on getting the roof done in the spring. This is a huge campaign opportunity that you have right now, to make sure that you have a number of jobs already lined up for the spring. I'm not gonna give you any examples because this is huge tip top secret. That I only have for my clients. But if you can come up with an extremely ridiculous offer, that homeowners just cannot pass up, and will sign with you today. So that you're able to go out. As soon as the weather fixes itself, you're able to go out there and you've already got 10, 15, 20, 30 jobs lined up to come out of the gate guns blazing Rambo style just right? And you have all of these jobs lined up and you're able to get them done within a reasonable amount of time, right?

So what can you reasonably come up with as far as an offer that you can get in front of these homeowners, these building owners? That's something that you need to think about, right? And this is one of the strategies that you should be really pushing out in the winter seeing as there's no work in the wintertime.

So going back to the beginning and what I said there, this is really a mindset thing. So if you truly believe that no homeowners are realistically looking for the roofing services, then you've already given up. And in your mind, that is what it is. But for those guys who are actively looking for roofing customers, customers that actually need the service, they'll go out and find the work. 'Cause the work is out there. It's just a matter of you going out and finding means to get in front of those homeowners, right? And this is one of the ways that I go about doing this, setting up a full online system that will get you in front of your customers that are actively looking online that have a roofing problem for you to be able to go out there, service them and make sure that you know they're happy with your work. And then you can line something up for the spring because all of them... Well, most of them want just that temporary fix, to not see that leak pouring down into their home, into their building. And they just need that temporary patch until you know everything blows over and we're ready to fix it permanently.

So with that being said, I mentioned early on in this video, that I have opened a few spots for my free one-on-one call about my Roofing Lead Generation Training program. So if you're wanting to get enrolled, you can go ahead and click the link in the description down below. And you can book a call with me and we can get on the phone and get to talking.

So for those of you who don't know about this training program. It's designed specifically for roofers, and you work directly with myself. Where I help you set up an online lead generation machine that will target locally based individuals who are actively looking for roofing services.

So this is a full scale marketing plan that will get you visible locally in your own backyard. You won't have to drive an hour away for work, there's more than enough work within your own neighborhood. And the job of this training program is to make sure that everyone knows who you are within your own neighborhood and can actually find you online.

So if you're a company owner who's currently dissatisfied with your marketing, your online presence or you don't even have a marketing plan altogether. Then you'll definitely wanna click the link in the description down below.

Also, if you wanna join a community of roofers just like yourself, I have a free Facebook mastermind group where I share online strategies that work today. The link for that is in the description down below.

And lastly, if you liked this video, and if you want me to make more videos like this, I would really appreciate it, If you hit that thumbs up. You subscribe to my channel and you hit that notification bell. So that you get notified every single time I drop a new video, every Wednesday. And with that being said, I will see you next week on my next video. Take care.

  Book A Call With Me About The Roofing Lead Training Program:

 https://go.matsmoy.com/evergreen/

Watch this free video case study for roofers. It’ll show you how to generate 20+ roofing leads per month.

https://get.matsmoy.com/case-study/

Be sure to join the secret Online Roofing Leads Mastermind Group here.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/onlineroofingleads/

TWEET THIS VIDEO: https://ctt.ac/089f2

Let’s connect Social Media

Twitter: https://twitter.com/MatsMoy

Instagram: https://instagram.com/matsmoy/ 

Facebook: https://facebook.com/matsmoy/ 

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/matsmoy/ 

See More Here: Generating Leads for Roofing in Winter (Stay Busy All Year Round)

Moy Consulting 60 Queen St E #103, Brampton, ON L6V 1A9, Canada https://goo.gl/maps/hodRjHCYkvtjSwFW8

[invalidatxd-blog]

21.11.17

I’m Back

I’ve been so away lately. That isn’t even the right English, not the correct way to say it at all, but definitely the best way to describe it. I’ve been checked out, so preoccupied with all the things going on in my life, leaning too heavily on my ability to numb myself up. I can just sit and let my life happen to me with a certain degree with apathy. It’s not that I’m not feeling my emotions, I definitely do, I tuck them away for a more suitable time, or whenever I can’t fit anything else into the little hidey hole. I feel so relieved to be free from my exams, but I feel so detached from that fact. I got out of dodge so immediately after I finished my exams I think means I haven’t had a chance to process it, I still feel like I will have to go back and study the second I get back to Sydney. Also, money is a forever struggle. I hate that it is such an issue for me.

I think I needed this time away from Sydney. I needed to see my family and my home. It makes me miss home, I am still here but I am already longing for all the space and openness that is just such a normal part of life here. I have hallways and different rooms and places to go. There’s no traffic or cars or even other people aside from mum and dad. I rarely human noises that aren’t me or my parents and nature definitely prevails. I think it’s something that growing up I didn’t even think about. The profound that nature, something completely out of our control, has on mood and just everything. Rain. That was always a big one, and it’s still so ingrained in to me. Rain is a good thing, and it will always be a good thing. It means that the ground is softening, the dust is settling, grass will grow, and the rivers and waterways might even flow. Of course it’s never often enough, or it comes all at once and then it’s cutting through anything man-made that’s in its path. Roads are gone, dam banks are burst and nature makes a comeback. I think that Australia is a lucky country to live in. We have clear air and lots of trees. The oceans are pretty clean and rubbish in-general, is minimal compared to other places. I think about all these things and I feel lucky, lucky, lucky.

I worry about things, not necessarily money or uni, although these things do worry me, I worry about me. Not in a weird selfish way. I just worry about the effect that the recent negativity with m is going to have on my personality, my traits and who I am. I feel more aware of the manipulation and kind of mistreatment that occurred. I’m not naïve to try and say that I have no fault in the situation, fully aware that my communication could have been improved on. But I am also so aware that I didn’t deserve to be treated the way I did. And I think that it’s good that I know and respect the fact that deserve a certain level of reciprocity from the people I care about. But it’s hard because it has made me jaded in a sense. I feel like I am a little less trusting of people, of their intentions. I am also less patient. I already feel it. I spent so long giving and giving and I just don’t understand why. But it was a good feeling, knowing that I was dependable and that people enjoyed my company because I was. Sometimes E refers to how ‘easy-going’ I am and I get so upset because I’m not easy-going. There’s been so many times where I’ve been with her and I’ve been on the verge of a panic attack but I can’t make her understand that because she doesn’t see outside of her world. God that sounds like such an insult. And I guess in a way it is, but I’m not saying in because I think she is a bad person, it’s just something about her. This kind of expectation that people are there for her convenience, to fit into her world the way that she wants them to. Not that she treats me badly or anything like that, and if I say no to something there is way less manipulation than with m. But it’s not even just the way she treats me (which isn’t badly) but just in general, she has no patience for human error. If it’s not done the way she expects it, if people don’t behave or react how she wants it’s such a problem. And she can react so badly. I don’t know, I guess that’s the thing I struggle with her the most. I am not used to it.

I have a lot in my mind at the moment. I am processing so much. I could talk about the same topics again and again. I could dwell on my relationship with Him. That sounds like I am talking about God or something. I am not. But what’s the point. I am just as unsure and just as hung-up as ever. Even though I know that it’s unrealistic and kinda dumb. What can you do lol??? Like I wish I could flip a switch in my brain. I remember E made a comment about how I like a lot of songs about people who are in love etc. and how it’s funny because I’ve not been in a relationship. I’ve not been in love. And I mean I think she’s right, because I don’t think I’m in love with him, but I am definitely in-‘something’ with him. I wasn’t going to write about this because it drives my head crazy and I shouldn’t allow myself to think about him like this. But fuck it. I just, everytime I think about the times that we were together I just remember being happy. I am happy when I look at him and I am happy when we talk. I can remember when he was here over 4 years ago so clearly. Not all of it, but the important bits. I remember it all so vividly, I remember when I first saw him and I remember the first time we kissed. Fuck, it felt like a dream I was so happy I couldn’t even believe it. And that’s probably more to just the timing of it, that period in my life and all the rest of it. I didn’t even know him then. But I do know him now. I know how he thinks and what makes him laugh and his personality traits. And we’ve been friends for so long and it’s been too long for me to even hope that we will ever be anything other than friends. Because I do, stupidly, hope that we will be more than friends. I think that maybe if last time I saw him he had crushed all possibility of that, not in a rude way but just, if nothing had happened, then I would be so content just being friends. But something did happen. And it wasn’t just friends. And I was so happy I thought I was in a dream. Everything about it was perfect (well like, pretty fucking close) and I was so happy. One of the happiest times that I’ve been. And it sucks because now he’s not even here, he’s in New York, with his girlfriend. And I feel guilty because what right do I have to feel anything for him. Fuck it stresses me out. And I still hope that maybe one day something will happen. And then happen again. And I shouldn’t hope that because 1) it would be too good and too unrealistic for it to ever happen, and 2) I sound like a literal crazy person and I just need to move the fuck on. But like I said, don’t know how to do that.

RIP.

I am going to read through that and be so embarrassed and hate it so much. But I don’t want to delete it. Ya know gotta be honest with myself.

Sometime I wish I could combine my home life with my Sydney life. Sydney is definitely my home now, I am so settled and happy there, but I miss so much about home. I miss my family and I miss my bed and I miss having space. But being at home I miss having independence and places to go and the convenience and my routine. Just can’t seem to win.

I am so reflective at the moment. I think because I have been in Australia for this whole year, and it’s such a mix up in my routine. I don’t know. I feel like all the things that I did and saw and all the people I met. I mean I was so lucky to have those experiences and meet those people and live that life. It feels so surreal almost. I watch videos that spark memories and I am in awe of the things that I did. It’s so hard because in the moment it just feels like such a race to the finish, to be home or to be in a different place, to the next job, to the next client. It’s taken me being in Sydney to really realise how lucky I was and how my experiences were so lucky. I was so lucky. I am so lucky, to have those memories and the ability to have lots of it captured in film and in photos, in magazines. Immortalised by social media and the internet. So lucky. And such an honor. To work with the people I worked with and to be a part of some of the things that I am a part of. Pretty cool.

I mean I should stop writing this essay and probably go to sleep. This is too many words. But what a nice feeling to vent. I don’t like how scattered this entry is and I don’t like how I’ve written today. I am sure there is an expert who could tell my why it is like this. I just hope that next time I write it will read as less erratic and more thoughtful. I worry that this will end up sounding like another petulant 20yo’s venting, thoughtless and superficial. I don’t want that, even if that’s what this is.

Ok for real for real, I have to stop writing tonight.

[shad88078606-blog]

LAKE VICTORIA Related Articles.

Saga Cruise ships introduces brand-new cruise as well as accompanied trip with Cambodia as well as Vietnam. If you have any type of questions concerning where and ways to utilize click through the following website page, you could call us at the web site. About 85 percent of those are thin," Stolen claimed. Along with their amazing option of cruise ships for 2017, Riviera have actually just recently launched a collection of motivating brand-new cruises, brand new ships and also brand-new separations for 2018. Congratulations to Anna Struckie, a fresher at Secondary school North for winning the regular monthly drawing for having best presence. Swale creates about 400 pounds of food per season, Mattingly claims-- not enough to satisfy even someone's fruit as well as vegetable intake in one year So drifting barges are not likely to fulfill the neighborhood food demands on their own-- you 'd require an armada-- yet that's not Swale's objective. Slide: 7/ of 9. Subtitle: Subtitle: Cabela's XPG Tornado's Edge Stretch Jacket You do not should spend lavishly for a reliable, lightweight rain jacket.|Saga Cruise ships charters resort barge Anacoluthe for unique new French waterways holidays. Mr. Bar-Zemer is a board participant of the following companies: LARABA, ADCCLA, Arts Area PROPOSAL, Historic Cultural Community Council, Influence Hub LA, the Institute of Area Research, Buddies of the LA River, the Institute of Contemporary Art (formerly the Santa Monica Museum of Art, the Toy Factory Lofts HOA, the Biscuit Company Lofts HOA, the Style Advisory Board for the Sixth Road Viaduct Substitute Project, the Technical Advisory Board for the In-Channel Bike Path as well as the Conservation Zoning Advisory Committee (ZAC) for re: code LA|Unbelievable cruise vacations in the US as well as Canada for 2017. For an extra substantial (and also expensive) vacation, you can incorporate a cruise ship aboard the Road to Mandalay with a journey on the Belmond, a deluxe train that runs year-round in between Bangkok and Singapore (three days), or Bangkok and Chiang Mai (two days). The free-to-fish component of the River Frome in Wareham, Dorset, has actually become packed with carp that is attracting dozens of schoolchildren on their holidays.|Crystal River Cruises deserts French sail plans in favour of the Danube, Key as well as Rhine. No added shipping charge is needed with any add as long as you have vowed at the $64 promise level or greater. Plus this pledge degree consists of all stretch goal got to! Many in the South West have actually already been compelled to desert their houses and move livestock, as engineers work all the time to pump water from severely-flooded villages after weeks of hefty rains.|London on emergency flooding alert as Thames Obstacle is elevated to secure funding. part of their tourist industry. Group cruise ships are available for teams of all dimensions, with a minimum reservation of eight staterooms. Bangkok cruises are a massive part of the tourists tourist attraction to the city. Anantara Cruises Thailand feels like floating on a dreamland, as you locate on your own travelling on the river in these comfortable staterooms that are instilled with the pleasant waft of Fresh blossoms and also draping of abundant Thai silks that|Enjoyable in the Frost: 300 years ago individuals played fun and video games on the Thames. Congratulations to HSE Junior Gianna Perez for being the 2017 Delegate for American Legion Woman's State being held at Georgian Court College. One of the most favored cruises are among St. Petersburg and Moscow which are the two crucial cities of Russia. This project will just be moneyed if it reaches its objective by. It featured thirty-six Toms River Schools pupils.|Best cruise ships EXPOSED with shock novice Emerald Waterways defeating rivals. A brief movie regarding teenagers coming of age in DC among a glaring lack of social and economic possibility Tasks of Earth. River cruises in Europe provide a remarkable and also satisfying adventure for visitors. A LONDON horror assault target who dove right into the River Thames to avoid being killed by a rampant awesome has actually been called. The flooding in Bossier Church, LA. is terrible and severe - water approximately roofs.|, if you are thinking regarding going on one of the Danube river cruises for holiday it is vital to understand how to pack. The tourist will search that they've the accessibility of Southern excursions, Vietnam cruise ships, classic Vietnam, Northern trips, and more. There is an array of budget ranges that the asianventure will certainly give, so each traveler absolutely can select from something no matter what they are interested in. Excursions such as the Southern Vietnam trips are tours that are an over night tour, as they take the tourist to explore several destinations such as Melkong Delta and also Cu Chi.

Appealing adolescent maidens, dancing fluidly to the beat of ethnic sound; war-like weeps of the warrior, going increasingly with guard and spear in hand; as well as pleasant professional dancers in vibrant traditional costumes, revealing the myriad mix of societies as well as customizeds ... these as well as much more may be educated very first practical the extensive Sarawak River Cruises for the Kuching Beachfront inside city of Kuching, Sarawak. 4 months on, fairly couple of visible indications of destruction remained in the city centre and also residents appeared keen to put the floodings behind them. Luxury river cruises is a response to a many traveler's petition for a leisurely vacation in an attractive surroundings far from the normal traveler hob-knob. Secondary school South appreciates the donation from Jersey Mikes Subs in the Toms River Plaza. The firm hopes to dig a 20-mile drainage tunnel, called the Thames Tideway, underneath the river to its sewage treatment plant. Best recognized for its ocean-going ships, high-end traveling company Crystal Cruises is making its debut on the Rhine in 2017 with Crystal Bach, a new river ship that boasts collections with butler service, an indoor swimming pool as well as unusual tours - including secure fencing in Heidelberg as well as rowing on the Rhine. The studio is made up mainly of good friends that researched video game growth at the exact same university college, yet the group has actually grown as we've become a lot more skilled from dealing with smaller tasks. Thanks to new modern technology, the ship we got on, Viking Astrild, could sail in little bit more than 3 feet of water. The elimination of the Elwha River dams is an essential tale in the Pacific Northwest, and it has actually received extensive media protection in current months. Cleaning up the Area The first thing to remember is the method of cleanup utilized by the firm you prefer to aid you after your flooding. Sign up for obtain short articles emailed straight to your email account. We have actually determined to make use of Kickstarter to produce an area around the movie that can help in its growth not just from a monetary perspective but additionally from an editorial perspective. An one-year membership to Fiction River in paper. Obtain a personal thank you post card from the director of the movie, your name on the Benefactor Wall of the main 2 RIVERS web site, and a personal link to view the finished movie before it is launched throughout the globe. There are some components of the globe that use good bird enjoying cruise ships, then there's Antarctica, which is fairly simply a cut - or possibly that must be 'beak' - above. Unlike the extra preferred sea cruises, river cruise ships are leisurely as well as thought about to be a lot more charming. For the promises consisting of the core video game, make sure to suitable select the N. The U.S.A. or EU versions! While other components of the country get precipitation from various sorts of tornados, such as everything from reduced stress systems as well as warm fronts to cyclones along the East Coastline, California is extremely depending on climatic rivers for its annual rainfall. An authorities spokesman stated: The vehicle had 3 residents, one person sustained injury regular with back or neck injury. California embarked on complex flood control actions. Nonetheless, the state is running a rainfall deficit equal to up to 2 years' well worth of rains in some spots, which is mosting likely to verify difficult to earn up in a series of climatic river occasions like the ones hitting now, according to Swain. High School South held their yearly Peer Leadership training occasion where trainees discover abilities to aid with mediation and shared regard. The world's biggest cruise liner, which is virtually 165 feet much longer compared to the Eiffel Tower, has triggered on its very first sea trial from France. Secondary school South Organization for Africa (ASFA) went to see Hidden Numbers, the tale of Katherine G. Johnson, Dorothy Vaughan and Mary Jackson, three brilliant African-American women working at NASA, who worked as the brains behind one of the greatest operations in history.

[mediacalling]

Our Very Worst Social Media Fails: The Expert Roundup

With so many so-called social media gurus out there, it’s hard for mere mortals not to have “imposter syndrome.”

Should we be trusted with others’ social media accounts? Should call ourselves an expert on our Website if we’re not perfect?

The truth is, even the most experienced social media managers have made at least one gigantic mistake in their career. Here are seven professionals with their tales to back me up.

 Dorien Morin-van Dam, More in Media

A few years back I met a prospective client whose budget for managing Facebook only allowed for management, not for advertising. At the intake meeting I addressed this concern, as well as the fact that there was barely any content on their website so there was very little content for me to use.

Despite this, they offered me my going management rate, and I accepted the six month project. To date, this has been my biggest fail.

I got no traction; no engagement and no new likes on the Facebook page. I didn’t have a budget to create video content or run ad campaigns or even run a contest.

Then I did something I am not proud of. As a last-ditch effort in the last two months, I took a portion of my fee to run a few ads to see if throwing a bit of money would in the end make a difference. It didn’t.

To off-set and justify me taking money out of my own pocket, all posts in those last two months were recycled posts from the previous months. The Facebook page was a fail and so was working with this client. This experience served as a lesson to me to go with my gut to not take on clients who ‘want it all’ but aren’t willing to spend the money to get there.

Charli Day, Charli Says

Back in 2010, I was fairly new to social media management and was in charge of a financial services page with a high international fan count but low engagement.

I decided that I would run a social media contest to increase likes, shares, and overall engagement. Back then, I wasn’t really aware of the need to use page apps to run contests. Contest apps are an absolute must, not only for legally collecting data, but also for regulating entries and ensuring that users adhere to the terms and conditions of your contest. I had no idea.

So my contest was as follows. “Take a great photo of you holding the company logo and the one with the most likes will win” (another Facebook page violation). The idea was to show fans around the world and the prize was a top of the range Canon camera. Of course, the fans started submitting photos to the page and at the beginning it was great. Beautiful photos of India, Italy, Australia, all with our company logo.

I was pretty pleased with myself.

But then, I noticed that some of the photos were getting an insane amount of likes. If the average on each photo was 50, these were getting 10,000. I realized that they were using bots to bump up their likes to win the prize. With no way to control the number of votes or entries, or any way to prove that the rules had been broken (because I hadn’t written any), I sat helplessly watching as some of the least inspiring photos gained thousands of likes.

When the time came to announce the winner, the photo was an obviously photoshopped background of the leaning Tower of Pisa with a little guy from Indonesia holding our logo. It was a poor quality and obviously tampered with image. I announced him as the winner and then spent the net week receiving furious messages from the other genuine participants who accused him of faking the photo likes and our brand of not properly controlling the contest.

To make matters worse (again no terms and conditions) the winner then went on to demand a camera with a much higher value than the company wanted to give. Our company lawyers eventually concluded that as we had simply specified a “top of the range” camera, and not written a maximum value, we had to give it to him. Therefore the prize cost 3,000 Euros more than it should have done.

It was a huge lesson for me. ALWAYS use page apps for contests. Plan every single detail and make sure your terms and conditions are signed off by legal!

Daniel Pinne, Organik Social

I managed the social accounts for a large professional sports team with hundreds of thousands of followers across all social media channels. Sports an emotional industry and sometimes you can get lost in the support of the team’s fans and the action on field. There was a lot of feedback about the quality of commentary and I sent the following tweet with a comment about one of the commentators in particular.

Thanks to the 16,828 fans that turned up tonight and didn’t have to listen to Tim Gilbert commentate. Worth the ticket price #purplepride

— Melbourne Storm (@storm) July 5, 2013

Understandably, there were mixed reactions. The fans of the team (and the primary audience) understood the humor of it and supported the tweet. Others in the media were very critical, labeling it unprofessional and came to the commentator’s support.

In hindsight, I certainly got caught up in the emotion of it all a bit much. It was a spur of the moment decision that I should have asked others in my team if they thought it was appropriate, they would have advised otherwise.

I spoke to the commentator in person, apologized and followed up afterwards. We all moved on and learned from it, but it wasn’t one of my finest memories managing social media.

Amanda Webb, Spiderworking

I made a lot of mistakes when I started blogging. I used to write terrible headlines, I wasn’t thinking about the importance of getting people to read, I just assumed they would come.

My first blog covered environmental issues and one classic headline was “Water Labeling.” I spent ages writing the post but I’m pretty sure few people read it. I’m always working at writing better headlines, each time I do I see the payback in traffic.

Hiral Rana, E2M Solutions

In one of my previous firms, I was juggling several responsibilities in social media marketing and SEO. As a part of an in-house project back then, we forgot to set the end-date of our Facebook ad campaign. Thankfully, this got us more attention, leads, and everything in between.

I quickly learned how to use automated rules in the Facebook Ads Manager. All I have to do is enter my maximum spending amount. This gives me more control of the ad budget even if I forget to set the end date again!

Anastasia Melet, Wave by Animatron

Perhaps our biggest social media fail happened during a Facebook Live broadcast. Our Live featured a well-staged video, a part of which had been recorded in advance, to be operated with a special broadcasting software.

Everyone was excited and also a bit nervous preparing for the Live. During the Live, a social media team member pressed the wrong button and… cut the video almost a minute too early.

There was no option to resume the video.

The first thing we did was to quickly address the questions we started receiving in the comments from the viewers. I think it was the prompt reaction of our social media team that helped de-escalate the possible disappointment of our followers. Later on, we sent an email explaining the situation and offering an incentive as a “We Care” token.

Our followers are a very loyal and understanding audience and we had almost no negative effect caused by the incident. We learnt this lesson and were fully prepared for the next Live. So to fail-proof your social media initiatives, I would advise to be especially careful with new technologies, keep anxiety under control, and always have a backup plan.

Rivka Hodgkinson, Meet Rivka

One of my clients is a real estate agent, so I try to make the content interesting by posting local goings-on, news, and events.

To simplify that process, I have a Google Alert set up for the city and state that she is located in. One day while going through my email, I was excited to see an Alert post about a famous celebrity who broke down and was taken out to lunch and helped by some local guys with a pickup truck.

This is perfect, I thought! A recognizable name, and a fun story that happened right in her area! It didn’t mention the name of the restaurant, but it did mention a street name, so I thought I could get some great engagement by asking people to guess which local treasure they stopped to eat.

Then it all fell apart.

I was so excited about the article, I told my husband about it. “I am pretty sure that is a scam dear,” was his response. He had heard the same story with a different celebrity for his hometown. Sure enough, I did a Google search of the longer text, and it was an oft-repeated urban legend. Despite being from a reputable looking website, I had been bamboozled.

Don��t get me wrong. I got engagement — just not the kind I anticipated. With several people within minutes telling me it was a scam, providing links to Snopes, and one share by someone as excited about the story as I was. And so the cycle of misinformation continues.

Needless to say, not a finer moment. I hid it from the timeline and thanked the helpful citizens who pointed out my mistake.

Lesson learned? ALWAYS check sources on factual stuff. I should have known better when it wasn’t one of the handful of local news media outlets that I recognize the names of. Now, I am sure to only post news stories from a brand I know and trust, or do a little more digging into the who and what of the origin.

What social media fail are you most embarrassed about? Share your sad tale in the comments!

The post Our Very Worst Social Media Fails: The Expert Roundup appeared first on Agorapulse.

Our Very Worst Social Media Fails: The Expert Roundup posted first on http://ift.tt/2qbaJ0t

[bubblefarts99]

It’s up to me, It’s all up to me

   When someone knocks you down, you get back up right? Right, except when it’s your mother knocking you down because she doesn't approve of a certain dream of yours. Once I graduated high school, she was more open to this dream, mainly because she can’t do anything to stop me and I’m living on my own now. Being raised in a strict environment is tough but now that I’m on my own, I’m ready for my next adventure.

   My ultimate dream is to become a Victoria Secret model or even become an Angel. Not only will it be fun, it’s going to be hell. The self-discipline involved is insane. Talk about working out twice a day and dieting hardcore. It takes a lot of commitment to be a model in general, but to be Victoria Secret model? Personally I know a girl who is a model for Model and Images. From what I’ve seen on her social media it takes a lot of discipline. Recently Victoria Secret had their yearly casting calls, where you audition for a spot on the team. They have bras in all sizes, same with undies and heels. You walk down the runway in that and do your thing, while the judges ask you personal questions. Then you have a interview and I’m sure you at lease have a robe on for that, in front of the cameras. Looking and being good on camera is a must! VS models do a lot of camera shots and being on tv as they walk the runway.

   The models ride on private jets, have some awesome fun, and crazy schedules but they all are beautiful and glamorous. I can’t say it enough, that VS models are Angels. (see what I did there) Most have husbands, boyfriends, or even kids! The ones with children get so big during pregnancy and then they lose it all pretty quickly and soon enough they are back on the runway or at least doing seasonal clothing shoots. To me it’s absolutely amazing how the human body can even stretch that far out and then be normal again.  

   Instagram or any social media keeps me up to date on Victoria Secret. I myself follow several of the main runway girls, they post a lot on social media, keeping all their followers up to date. Some of my favorite models include Romee Stride, Candice Swanepoel, Alessandra Ambrosio, Adriana Lima, and Behati Prinsloo. It’s fun to see they have lives outside of modeling for Victoria Secret, like attending art shows, music festivals, etc. The main VS account on Instagram is always posting videos of new clothing or lingerie. Sometimes there are pictures of a previous shoot somewhere in the world, or a video of some of the models talking. I’m not gonna lie, it’s a pretty expensive store. The sales are amazing though, 5 for $20 or 5 for $27?! One pair of undies is usually $9.99 or lower, and you’re getting 5 for less!! When that sale is going on you grab your bff and head to the nearest mall.

  There are several blogs out there in the world on the internet about the diet and workouts of a VS model and how crazy it is. Buzzfeed had two girls do the workout challenge for a week, (volunteerly) and they loved the results. Two workouts daily, one in the morning and one in the evening/night. Most of the models workout with a partner or buddy, lifting weights, yoga, boxing, basically anything that gets your blood pumping. There are some people who do the diet with a friend for fun, and are astonished by how their bodies feel so much more alive, and happier. One blog I read, a lady did the workouts and diets for a whole month! As well she loved her results and continued to eat on that diet after the challenge. So obviously it can’t be THAT bad. There’s a lot of protein shakes involved so don’t worry it’s not like you have to go vegan. Think of it kinda as a detox for your whole body.

   Self-discipline, dam it sucks. I can barely get myself to commit working out everyday, and I have easily plenty of time on my hands. Maybe I just need a partner/buddy to go workout with. A helpful friend always makes things much much better. Not only do you get to gossip and make memories with this person but you both get to improve mentally and physically. Who doesn’t like to succeed at something with someone else? “We started from the bottom now we here.”

   Can you just imagine late nights overlooking a New York City skyline with a glass of champagne in your hand? With a nice looking man on your side? Just make sure to watch your alcohol intake! Photo-shoots on top of the Empire State building. Ah... I can see it now, I’ve always been able to picture it in my mind. No, I’ve never been to NYC but my sister lives there so that’s close enough for now. There are thousands, millions, of pictures of NYC skyline at nighttime or daytime and every single one of them is absolutely beautiful. Even though I’m not there in the flesh to see it with my naked eye, I can definitely feel the adrenaline and city rush. Most movies or tv shows are based in or around NYC so I’ve got a pretty good taste of what it’s like. The smell of bakery shops and coffee, fast food and dine in. A nice sexy/casual outfit with a pair of heels. Cameras flashing in your direction as you step out of the taxi. That’s it, I wanna be famous. I want to be a role model for younger girls, and I want to be famous for a talent God gave me to use. I do tend to get jealous of girls who have a fit body and just workout for fun and everyday life and don’t do any modeling. Then I think to myself. “Why are you getting jealous? You have a perfect fit body too, just not AS fit.” It’s gonna take some serious work till I get that Victoria Secret body.

    Mmmmmmmm Victoria Secret (insert hear eyes emoji) What a dream come true. I know that you know that I know they are absolutely stunning humans. Most are from out of the country and most have that certain gene. But they all worked for it, and rightly so they deserve it. Sexy fit bodies, fresh look, nice smooth skin, long luscious hair, trendy clothes, heels, good positive attitude, and that great happy personality. Let’s be honest THEY ARE LIVING THE DREAM.

   Support is key. I’m sure all those models have support from their family and friends back home. They have support form their fans too. If I decided today to start working out and eating right like a model should, would I myself have support? Absolutely! I live in a house with five other girls and we are all very supportive of each other in everything we do. I feel that my family would have my back and my siblings would push me to my best, and my mother... My mother would eventually come around. That’s what I love about her, she’s stubborn, like me!

   Criticizing the models is no way to live. They are not anorexic and they are not starving themselves. All of them are unique and special in their own ways. I’m sure they don’t all eat the same way, not every body is the same. It takes a lot of hard work to be a model and I wish people gave them more credit. They’re doing something that they love and enjoy. Be happy for them, they’re happy. Stay humble, words can hurt, be kind, they have enough pressure as is. There’s always going to be haters, and they gonna hate strong. Karma’s a bitch though.

   Eighteen years young, I’ve got a ways to prove myself to the world. Maybe I’ll travel, or adopt all the senior dogs in kennels, or maybe I’ll get the opportunity to work for Victoria Secret but hopefully as a runway model. The worst anyone can ever tell you is “no”. I’m ready to show those mean girls who bullied everyone cause they were different that hell yes I’m different, look at me! 5′11 1/2 inches I think I’m qualified.... Now it’s in God’s hands, and whatever plans he has for me.    

[rbeatz]

Governors Ball Music Festival 2017 Review

Governors Ball this year went off without a hitch. Friday and Saturday were blessed with beautiful weather, and Sunday’s rain forecast wasn’t as menacing as predicted. It only drizzled for a bit on Sunday, and the clouds brought a cool, brisk air that was refreshing relative to the days prior.

The festival featured a decent amount of pop, hip-hop, and rock acts, branding themselves as a contemporary music festival. Contemporary music is another word for popular music, which is exactly what Governors Ball brought.

I didn’t get my act together in time for press passes this year (we have them for Bonnaroo next week), so I’ll call this a review from the real fan’s perspective. One who didn’t obtain the luxury that is a press pass. My plan was to go in with the rBeatz Radio Station, Twitter, and Instagram at my disposal, a Nikon D3400 camera, and run a bit of a narrative in conjunction with insight from the days acts.

The narrative consisted of a friend of mine, Paul, who came from England to the United States to find LOVE. He figured a music festival could be a good place to find love.

After each set, Paul and myself would find eligible bachelorettes interested in playing along with a live interview on rBeatzRadio. We would ask them which act they liked the most and which act they were most looking forward too. We would then ask them three questions to see if they were compatible with Paul.

1) Where would you take Paul on your first date?

2) What is your favorite Ice Cream flavor?

3) If you could go anywhere in the world right now, where would it be?

Paul’s favorite Ice Cream was cookie dough and he would go to New Zealand if he could go anywhere in the world right now. The first question was just for fun

If one of the eligible bachelorettes matched with Paul on the last two questions, they would win an rBeatz prize pack.

We used the hashtag #HelpPaulFindLove to connect the radio narrative to social media (Twitter and Instagram). People were very receptive to the game, as it was a nice, quick change of pace, and who doesn’t like to play games and win prizes!

Below are reviews from the acts I saw.

Jenaux

This was one of my favorite acts because Jenaux plays my favorite one of my favorite genres: electro-funk. Read my full Jenaux recap here.

After Jenaux, I wanted to get a lay of the land a bit. I walked on over to the main stage, and noticed a small gathering around a crew and their boombox. It was NYC based LiteFeet Entertainment Crew Waffle NYC with America’s Got Talent Season 8 finalist, Kid The Wiz. Take at the magic what I got to witness below.

#govballnyc @KidTheWiz @WAFFLENYC

A post shared by rBeatz (@rbeatzmusic) on Jun 2, 2017 at 10:45am PDT

Michael Blume

Michael Blume was soulful, inspirational, fun, and energetic all at the same time. His message was positive, and his choir of three behind him really added to his ambiance. He even retweeted my Tweet below

#GovBallNYC @mblumemusic Bluuuuuuuuuuuuuuumeeeeee http://pic.twitter.com/mUZThpRosz

— rBeatz (@rBeatzOfficial) June 2, 2017

Francis and the Lights

Francis and the Lights was definitely interesting. The guy has worked with the likes of Kanye and Chance the Rapper, so to see his individual performance was something I needed to see. The guy is definitely a good musician and knew how to manipulate a crowd. I got a Bo Burnham vibe from him, slightly making fun of the entire facade of the musical performance. Yet, I was captivated to see what he’d do next. Comedy in the musical performance isn’t something you see often. I enjoyed the change of pace.

Feel like @sebchew trolled and killed at the same dam time #GovBallNYC http://pic.twitter.com/sMmTe9UkAk

— rBeatz (@rBeatzOfficial) June 2, 2017

Kehlani

I caught the end of Kehlani. She was beautifully stunning and really owned the stage from what I saw. I interviewed some of her fans below, take a listen to what they had to say.

http://ift.tt/2sbo0Xa

I walked around after that and took some pictures.

  Charli XCX

@charli_xcx Fancy #govballnyc

A post shared by rBeatz (@rbeatzmusic) on Jun 2, 2017 at 2:02pm PDT

I caught a bit of Charli XCX, who was jumping around on these large silver boxes with her drummer, Deborah Knox-Hewson, and a DJ. The energy was up, and I was impressed with Charli’s stamina and enthusiasm on stage. Her energy was infectious. I showed up just as Charli’s hit song, Fancy, was being played, and from afar, I thought it was Iggy Azalea on the drums. It was not. It was Debbie. Killin’ it.

Lorde

Lorde rocked the stage in a giant glass container with 20 other people it it. Click below to hear the enthusiastic Monica describe her passion for the New Zealand pop-star.

http://ift.tt/2qScNa5

Flume

@flumemusic performing @disclosure – You & Me (Flume Remix) #GovBallNYC ❤️

A post shared by rBeatz (@rbeatzmusic) on Jun 5, 2017 at 6:00pm PDT

Flume’s set was magical. He took us to another spacial level with ambience, dynamic percussive arrangements, unexpected peaks and valleys and frequencies for all. Tove Lo joined Flume on stage for a live rendition of Say It. Flume is known for his fantastic control over the musical space, which was evident in his final song that ended with Flume banging his kick drum to an alien-like synth.

@flumemusic Final Song #GovBallNYC #GovBall2017

A post shared by rBeatz (@rbeatzmusic) on Jun 5, 2017 at 8:49pm PDT

Chance the Rapper

@chancetherapper Same Drugs #GovBallNYC 

A post shared by rBeatz (@rbeatzmusic) on Jun 5, 2017 at 6:09pm PDT

Chance The Rapper is always special. Before the show, I even bought myself a GIANT 3 (none of this small three nonsense) hat and a “Courage” sweatshirt, totaling $115. I was all Chance fanboyed-out. Because I love everything he’s about. He knows how to drive the crowd up and take a moment to make the crowd feel. He takes you on an emotional roller coaster with an extra heaping of soul and tranquility met by poetic arrangements. At the end, there were fireworks, and I was exhausted from a long, amazing day.

Hear my quick review of Chance and Flume below.

http://ift.tt/2sbkRqt

DAY 2

Going from 12-11pm got me a bit weary, plus while leaving the festival there was a huge traffic-jam of people trying to leave, that it took me an hour-and-a-half just to get off the Island. I was exhausted, so I treated myself to a couple extra hours of sleep on Saturday.

I entered the festival listening to Rae Sremmurd’s No Flex. I got in just as they ended. I was able to interview Katherine below about the mosh pit that happened at Rae Sremmurd.

http://ift.tt/2sbkRXv

  A$AP Ferg

@asapferg payin tribute to one the pioneers of #Dancehall @shabbaranksofficial #govballnyc

A post shared by rBeatz (@rbeatzmusic) on Jun 3, 2017 at 2:34pm PDT

A$AP Ferg was one of my favorite acts of the festival. He played some of the more popular trap/hip-hop songs of today plus a fair amount of his own stuff. Shabba (above) was one of the more hype songs of the afternoon. He made it clear to us that he wasn’t like the other bougie pop-stars. His reckless demeanor was exactly what I came for at a music festival. He even retweeted me below I took the picture after Ferg told everyone to put their middle-fingers up to all the haters out there.

Middle fingers in the air to all your #haters @ASAPferg #GovBallNYC http://pic.twitter.com/6jTsJkORfq

— rBeatz (@rBeatzOfficial) June 3, 2017

After, A$AP, I ran into my friend, Paul. Listen below for the introduction.

http://ift.tt/2qRQbGK

RÜFÜS DU SOL

Amazing drum solo by @rufussounds #govballnyc 🥁

A post shared by rBeatz (@rbeatzmusic) on Jun 3, 2017 at 3:17pm PDT

RÜFÜS was super melodic and ambient. They were a nice chance of pace from A$AP. The electronic live performance is something to be sought after, so seeing RÜFÜS’ made me aware that some are ahead of the game. The video above is a SICK drum solo from their drummer, James Hunt.

Marshmello

@marshmellomusic #GovBallNYC ⬜️

A post shared by rBeatz (@rbeatzmusic) on Jun 5, 2017 at 5:26pm PDT

Only #science could get a @marshmellomusic to DJ #govballnyc ⬜️

A post shared by rBeatz (@rbeatzmusic) on Jun 3, 2017 at 4:28pm PDT

Sick drop BRO @marshmellomusic #govballNYC http://pic.twitter.com/FQKaRwO6dq

— rBeatz (@rBeatzOfficial) June 4, 2017

.@marshmellomusic was suuuuper fluffy today. Best act at #GovBallNYC so far ⬜️ http://pic.twitter.com/LwYXaRVOJ1

— rBeatz (@rBeatzOfficial) June 4, 2017

Marshmello was my favorite act at Gov Ball. A true EDM DJ after my heart. He crushed remixes, the lighting and animation behind him was insane, he brought a MINI MARSHMELLO out to dance with him, the sun was out, and everything about the set made me super hyphy. I was dancing like a maniac to most of it.

We ran into Ariana and Samantha after Marshmello. I gave a bit of a recap, and then tried to #HelpPaulFindLove.

http://ift.tt/2qSfZTd

I got a bit caught up after Marshmello trying to #HelpPaulFindLove. Below we played with Alexa.

http://ift.tt/2qS17UD

We then tried to #HelpPaulFindLove with Franchesca, Chloe, Evan, and Papi Shampoo before BANKS.

http://ift.tt/2qSdY9q

BANKS

  @hernameisbanks @govballnyc #govballnyc Nuff said ❤️❤️❤️❤️

A post shared by rBeatz (@rbeatzmusic) on Jun 3, 2017 at 6:12pm PDT

BANKS was beautiful. Nuff said. I got a bit caught up trying to find Paul love, so I really only saw the song above.

Childish Gambino

#govballnyc is #childish

A post shared by rBeatz (@rbeatzmusic) on Jun 3, 2017 at 6:52pm PDT

@childishgambino crushing I.CRAWL at #GovBallNYC #GovBall2017 His only performance of 2017  #ChildishGambino

A post shared by rBeatz (@rbeatzmusic) on Jun 5, 2017 at 6:27pm PDT

#GovBall2017 is #childish http://pic.twitter.com/GNcqscQ4Rl

— rBeatz (@rBeatzOfficial) June 4, 2017

Childish Gambino’s only show in 2017. He is busy filming for the second season of Atlanta, so he just doesn’t have the time.  I caught a couple of my favorite Childish songs; however, due to yesterdays human traffic-jam, I left an hour early to avoid the rush. Felt like I missed his best stuff, including him dropping a hint that his next album might be his last.

Before I left, I ran into Lina to #HelpPaulFindLove

http://ift.tt/2sbBmml

DAY 3

I got to go with my girlfriend to this one. Before I went to the festival, I Tweeted my enthusiasm and endurance for day three with a, “Let’s Gooooooooooooooooooooooo(as many Os as I could fit in a tweet). Gov Ball staff promplty responded with this Tweet below.

http://pic.twitter.com/xaRNOnZ7BT

— The Governors Ball (@GovBallNYC) June 4, 2017

GRYFFIN

There was a bit of rain to start Sunday’s festivities; however, that didn’t stop GRYFFIN from rocking it on the guitar, piano, and turntables. We caught the end of his set, so were lucky to see him bring out Daya to perform their hit song with Illenium, Feel Good.

Rain ☔️ or shine ☀️ @gryffinofficial brought the house down #GovBallNYC http://pic.twitter.com/NjU1Lkogxe

— rBeatz (@rBeatzOfficial) June 4, 2017

Skepta

I think we came close @skepta_official #HelpPaulFindLove ❤️❤️❤️

A post shared by rBeatz (@rbeatzmusic) on Jun 4, 2017 at 3:37pm PDT

As you can see above, Paul almost found love at Skepta.

Skepta was one of my favorite acts of the entire festival. He absolutely crushed his set, calling out all the phonies, paying tribute to his organic come up, and quick witted rhymes. His energy was filled with rage, grime, and hype. His authenticity was real. He was so real that he had to make a point about it by smoking joints with the fans in front. I tweeted this in the moment.

@Skepta smokin’ crowd joints was the best part of #GovBallNYC

— rBeatz (@rBeatzOfficial) June 4, 2017

  We met up with Paul after Skepta.

http://ift.tt/2qRIKPX

  Mac DeMarco

Mac Demarco’s set was fun. He wished happy birthday to his keyboardist, brought a fan on stage, and brought mellow/psychedelic vibes to a hazy but beautiful cloudy day. Mac’s personality was genuine. After I left, GRYFFIN, I noticed screeching fans by the Honda Stage. These were Mac fans lining up and shrieking at the sight of this guy. After his set, I could see why. He’s just a super cool, musically talented, chill dude. The tweet below was sarcastic. Mac DeMarco was great.

.@macdemarcosband was pretty good #GovBall2017 http://pic.twitter.com/IKO3z3xhZp

— rBeatz (@rBeatzOfficial) June 4, 2017

The Avalanches

@theavalanches killed it and so did Paul #HelpPaulFindLove follow more live updates on the app #govballnyc #govball2017

A post shared by rBeatz (@rbeatzmusic) on Jun 4, 2017 at 3:58pm PDT

The Avalanches were fun. They came with an eclectic mix of Hip-Hop/Soul/Funk and Pop. Paul almost found love here as well.

I gave Paul some space, and spoke with Janice to see if her and Paul were compatible.

http://ift.tt/2sbo21e

Phantogram

.@Phantogram was hotttt #GovBall2017 http://pic.twitter.com/tuxKVcoYey

— rBeatz (@rBeatzOfficial) June 4, 2017

.@Phantogram n jellies #GovBallNYC http://pic.twitter.com/3i58PjXpSE

— rBeatz (@rBeatzOfficial) June 4, 2017

We witnessed a bit of Phantogram from afar. What really stood out was the vibe they put on. The entire Honda stage area seemed to have an ambiance. This is what Phantogram does best. Creates ambient soundscapes that lean slightly towards the pop genre.

We ran into Ashlee and Kaitlyn at Phantogram, who tried to #HelpPaulFindLove

http://ift.tt/2qSbjN0

Logic

Logic brought a message of Peace, Love, and Positivity. I caught him saying this, and my tweet got swept up in the moment. He paused a lot to talk about whatever was on his mind. The guy is an improv master, and his breaks were refreshing.

#GovBallNYC @Logic301 preaching #Peace #Love and # Positivity ❤️ http://pic.twitter.com/96XQAU1SNT

— rBeatz (@rBeatzOfficial) June 5, 2017

Damian Lemar Hudson absolutely crushing his solo @logic301 @damianlhudson #GovBallNYC #GovBall2017

A post shared by rBeatz (@rbeatzmusic) on Jun 5, 2017 at 6:16pm PDT

Some of the best parts of Logic’s performance was when he free styled with Kat, signing for the hearing impaired (below), the positivity he was preaching throughout, and when he brought our Damian Lemar Hudson for his killer solo (above) on their new hit single, Black Spiderman.

@Logic301 spits a dope freestyle with #Kat signing for the hearing impaired ##govballnyc @govballnyc #Youredoinggreat #PeaceLovePositivity http://pic.twitter.com/WCM3976RCN

— #BrosFrmAnother (@BrosFrmAnother) June 5, 2017

I did a bit of a recap of Logic’s set on rBeatzRadio and we met, Darian, to try to #HelpPaulFindLove

http://ift.tt/2qSbDv6

Wiz Khalifa

No jobbin, no sleepin, live it up like, it’s the #Weekend @wizkhalifa #govballnyc

A post shared by rBeatz (@rbeatzmusic) on Jun 4, 2017 at 7:17pm PDT

#GovBallNYC @wizkhalifa crushin @TheChainsmokers freestyle @TaylorGang #SmokeWeed ☘️☘️☘️☘️☘️ http://pic.twitter.com/fCAZFL7eDu

— rBeatz (@rBeatzOfficial) June 5, 2017

Wiz Khalifa is one of my favorite performers because I fell in love with his Cush & OJ and Rolling Papers mixtape way back when, and I think he sounds extremely similar live to how he sounds on his albums (which is hard to do!). He played Mesmerize, his Chainsmokers’ Closer remix, No Sleep, brought out Dy Dolla $ign for Blasé, Roll Up, and more. I left an hour early to avoid the traffic, but I thought I got plenty from Wiz’ first hour.

Overall, I had an amazing three days. Paul did not end up finding love, but that’s life. Maybe we’ll find another Paul at another festival this year and help them out. This is my final take for day 3.

http://ift.tt/2sbmAMg

My Top 10

Marshmello

Wiz Khalifa

Chance The Rapper

Flume

A$AP Ferg

Skepta

Logic

Jenaux

Childish Gambino

The Avalanches

from rBeatz.com http://ift.tt/2r0kk63