#everything else? errr..:.

[xxxemogrrlxxx]

art dump from past few days

[astrxealis]

astarion... the man that you are.....

[fayes-fics]

Textual Encounter

Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, modern AU

Summary: Text fic. Wrong number meet-cute over text.

Warnings: none... this is fluff and humour.

Word Count: 1.4k

Summary: Fic request fill for Anon (HERE). I kept it fun and fluffy, but yeah, I can see a sequel where they sext. Thanks to @colettebronte for the read-through. Enjoy! <3

Y/N: Hey Liz, it’s y/n y/l/n. Kindle Spa gave me your mobile. Said you had moved to another salon. I don’t trust anyone else to wax me tbh. Big date this week, kwim 😉 Can I get an appt? I’ll come to you. Doesn’t matter where. 

BB: Errr, I think you have the wrong number…

Y/N: Not Liz?

BB: Nope, Ben here. 

Y/N: Not a waxer, I presume?

BB: I may have waxed lyrical in my time, may even have lit a few candles. Have not waxed anyone no - my own body or anyone else’s. Yet. But I’m game to try anything once...

Y/N: Lol.

BB: Big date, eh?

Y/N: ….Yeah. Not that it's any of your business, stranger Ben.

BB: Fair. BB: Does it hurt?

Y/N: ??

BB: Getting waxed.

Y/N: Oh. Yeah. Like a motherfucker. But you sorta get used to it, tbh. And it’s so much less itchy than shaving regrowth, especially in sensitive areas… Wait, why am I having this convo with a complete stranger?!

BB: We don’t have to be strangers. BB: I’m Ben, 33, London. BB: I have no strong opinions on hair removal methods.

Y/N: lol. K. I’m y/n, 28, also London. Y/N: I, as you can see, do have some opinions.

BB: Hi y/n 👋 BB: I hope you can find Liz. Or someone else to assist with your hair needs.

Y/N: I would like it stated, for the record, I’m not hairy like a troll. I just like to keep things neat.

BB: The lady doth protest too much…

Y/N: You are cheeky for a stranger.

BB: Hey, I thought we agreed. Not strangers. Me Ben. You hairy troll.

Y/N: BLOCK.

BB: Just typing it doesn't work, you know.

Y/N: You should work at the Apple Genius Bar.

BB: Hmm, possibly. I do look good in blue. Or so I've been told.

Y/N: Always glad to provide career counselling.

BB: 🫡

4 days later.

BB: How’d your date go?

Y/N: That's odd. I don’t see a Genius Bar appt in my calendar…?

BB: iCal is a lying bastard. BB: I also assume you now can move faster through water.

Y/N: ??

BB: Waxed smooth like a dolphin…?

Y/N: 😆 Y/N: Entirely none of your business, but yes, actually. Well mostly. I leave some. Why am I telling you this?! Y/N: The guy was such a dud tho, I didn't get to show it off 🙁

BB: Please don't stop on my account. This is just delightful.  BB: I apologise on behalf of all men.

Y/N: For what?

BB: Having 4 sisters, I find the safest answer here is usually… everything, of course.  BB: But specifically, your rubbish date.

Y/N: Apology conditionally accepted. Y/N: 4 sisters?! 

BB: Only conditional? What do I gots to do to make it unconditional? BB: Yeah, I know… I’ve got 3 brothers too. My parents were really into each other. 

Y/N: IDK, serve a mean martini? Y/N: Understatement.

BB: That could be arranged. I took an online mixology course during lockdown.  BB: My sister El declared I'm better than Stanley Tucci. Admittedly, that was after 4 espresso martinis… but I'm taking it. She's opinionated but the best one. They are a weird bunch tho 🤔

Y/N: WOAH WOAH WOAH. That's a bold claim.

BB: Well, there’s only one way to dispute it: try one for yourself…

Y/N: Smooth, Genius Bar, smooth.

BB: I do my best 🤷

1 day later.

Y/N: I can't get my AirPods to work.

BB: You do realise I didn’t actually follow your career advice?

Y/N: Urgh. Inconvenient. What use are you then?

BB: As I said. Cocktails. I’ll try my hand at waxing if you want.

Y/N: Best stick to the day job. Which is…?

BB: Graphic design.

Y/N: Oh, that’s quite cool. 

BB: It pays the bills. You?

Y/N: MI-5

BB: Wow, you're a shit spy.

Y/N: It could be an excellent double bluff…

BB:

Y/N: Oh, we’ve graduated to memes now, have we, Genius Bar?

BB: It was called for.

Y/N: I’ll take it. Purely cos it's a Hemsworth.

BB: I would too, tbh.

Y/N: Bi?

BB: For a Hemsworth? Always.

Y/N: Anyone else?

BB: I’ll keep you posted.

Y/N: I'm on the edge of my seat.

3 days later.

BB: Oscar Issac.

Y/N: Good non sequitur evening to you, too, Genius Bar Ben.

BB: For the bi thing.

Y/N: Ahh. Got it. I can respect that.

BB: This is me, btw: www.instagram.com/benbridgerdesign.  BB: Figured you can decide for yourself if I'm a creeper.

Y/N: Appreciated.

3 minutes later.

Y/N: You paint?

BB: I dabble

Y/N: Modesty will only make me like you more.

BB: You like me?! 🥹

Y/N: You didn't mention you were handsome.

BB: There is no way to respond to that without me sounding like a twat.

BB: But thank you 😊

Y/N: This is me: www.instagram.com/ynhandle 

7 minutes later.

BB: Oh, Amalfi is so beautiful, isn't it?

Y/N: Wow. That's a deep cut. How far did you scroll back??

BB: 👀

Y/N: Yeah, it's beautiful. Shame it's tainted for me now. Was there with an ex.

BB: I saw. Very handsome.

Y/N: Are you sure you're not just into men full-stop?

BB: 🤷 BB: You’re very pretty, too.

Y/N: I’d believe it if you didn't mention my “very handsome” ex first…

BB: I call it like I see it. BB: I have had 4 whiskeys, tho, so make of that what you will.

Y/N: On a school night?!

BB: It’s my brother Ant's birthday. This is like non-optional drunk, I’ll have you know.

Y/N: Happy birthday to him. 

BB: He says thanks. He’s also told me to get off my fucking phone. Which is rich. He is texting his wife nonstop.

Y/N: Hah! Safe travels through Whiskeytown, BenBridger 🫡

BB: I kinda miss Genius Bar…. 😞

Y/N: I can't win…

2 days later.

BB: Settle an argument for me.

Y/N: 🍿

BB: Col, younger brother, never stops eating... He claims Katz Deli is overrated. I argue it's touristy but still good. You’ve been. Where do you sit on this matter?

Y/N: You really did go thru my Insta, didn't you?? Y/N: Thanks for the follow, BTW.

BB: It's a compliment, I assure you. BB: Welcome. And same.

Y/N: Not complaining. And yeah, I agree with you, actually.

BB: Hah! Excellent!!

Y/N: Wait… your older brother is Ant, and your younger brother is Col? You’re Ben. So, like ABC?

BB:  … I already warned you my family was weird.

Y/N: You did. You did.

BB: Now, please excuse me while I go gloat.

Y/N: 👍

5 mins later.

BB: Hi. This is Col. You must be the famous y/n. Ben’s in the bogs, and the mug left his phone on the table unlocked, so this is on him.  BB: He like really likes you. Like a lot. Will you go on a date with him pls? 

Y/N: Err, ok, hi Col. Y/N: Umm, I think Ben should be the one to ask me that. Don’t you?

BB: He’s too scared you’ll say no.

Y/N: I won't…

BB: EXCELLENT.

2 minutes later.

BB: I am so SO sorry about that 😬 He’s such a shit. BB: But… do you mean it?

Y/N: Ask me properly…

BB: Would you, y/n, like to go on a date with me? Please?

Y/N: I would be delighted to Ben. 😀

BB: 🙏 BB: Are you free on Thursday? Could I take you to dinner?

Y/N: Sounds wonderful. 

BB: 7pm? Meet at Picadilly Circus? By Brasserie Zedel?

Y/N: I’ll be there 😀

BB: 😀

10 days later.

BB: I think you should know… Liz is an artiste 😮‍💨

Y/N: Stop texting me from my bed, you dork. 😘 Y/N: How do you take your coffee?

BB: I'm like 10 meters away. Why not just ask me?

Y/N: You started this, Genius Bar…

BB: Come back to bed, Mostly Hairless Troll.

Y/N: I asked for that, didn't I? 🤦

Benedict taglist, pt 1: @makaylan @longingintheuniverse @iboopedyournose @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kmc1989 @desert-fern @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @sya-skies

[stevieschrodinger]

There’s a quiet beeping noise. It’s very regular and kind of annoying; but then Eddie fucking hates the ticking of clocks. Finds them impossible to ignore once he’s heard it.

He shifts, and then almost immediately stops because fucking ow.

Ow. Well this is shit.

Eddie hums in agreement.

The mattress made a terrible creaky noise; like it’s plastic, and the air smells like disinfectant. Oh. Hospital. Which means holy shit, he’s alive.

Well, I sure as fuck wasn’t expecting this.

Eddie hums again, blinking open gummy eyes. It’s dark other than a rectangle of light on the popcorn tiled ceiling; shining through the door from the hallway. It’s a pretty average hospital room, except for the glaring anomaly that is Steve Harrington, snoring gently in an arm chair.

Holy shit, is that Harrington?

“Yeah-” Eddie starts to answer out loud, and then finally realizes that he’s answering someone. His voice is fucked and his mouth is dryer then Gandhi's sandals, but he still tries, “errr…who are you?”

Wait, you can hear me??

Eddie tries, really hard, to think loud thoughts, firstly because his throat is fucked and it hurts to talk, and secondly because he doesn’t actually want to wake Steve, yes?

Holy shit. It’s me. I mean. Hargrove. Billy Hargrove.

Well...fuck. I thought you were dead?

No. No, I just kind of got...absorbed. Like I was in the, you know, in that place with everything else.

The upside Down.

Whatever. But then Henry died. We all felt it when Henry died. And I was just kind of...loose.

You knew his name?

We all knew his name.

Which is not a terrifying thought like, at all. Especially not with how weighty the thought is when Hargrove delivers it. We all knew his name. Holy shit.

And then there was you and I saw my chance. I was so sure you were going to die, and I figured if I was in there, you’d take me out with you.

Oh. Well I was kind of assuming that I was dead, considering I now have the ghost of Billy Hargrove talking at me from in my own head.

Yeah. Death is a pretty solid explanation for me too. Think the afterlife could do better than this, though. Eddie can feel it when Hargrove yawns. Can feel that they’re both tired. Tries not to be vaguely offended that the inside of his head isn't good enough for Hargrove. Why is he here?

I dunno man, I mean, I was kind of with them at the end you know, I was part of the plan. Maybe he feels responsible or something.

Eddie can feel Hargrove turn that one over, what do you think he’s dreaming about?

Wet tee shirt competition, Eddie answers instantly and without thought, can feel Billy snort a laugh, can sense his amusement clearly.

Being Prom king? Sinking the winning ball?

Being asked to judge a wet tee shirt competition because he’s prom king?

Hargrove sniggers again, but then becomes thoughtful, you’re taking this really well. What if it’s like, permanent?

Eddie yawns, ask me again tomorrow. He's way too tired to deal with this.

It takes four days for Eddie to be able to actually stand alone long enough to take a piss in an actual bathroom, which is amazing. It's four days of having his life choices sometimes critiqued by Billy Hargrove, but it isn't the worst. At least they're on first name terms now, and Billy has been surprisingly sensitive when it comes to Eddie's recovery.

The first piss after the catheter came out was pretty fucking unpleasant, but not being alone for this stuff has actually been okay. Having Billy saying ow ow ow in the back of his head during that first piss had made it somehow more bearable. At least he's not suffering alone.

And he’s so done with pissing into those funny little bottle things and then enduring the mortification of handing it to someone.

You’re feeling pretty pleased with yourself over this.

“Yeah well, some of us enjoy pissing in private,” Eddie grumbles back.

When he turns to wash his hands, he squeals and nearly knocks everything off the counter. He then whimpers in pain, because he turned way too fast.

“Eddie? You okay?” Steve asks, knocking on the door.

“I’m fine. I’m fine man. Give me a minute,” Eddie looks over the bathroom. The empty bathroom. But no, no, he definitely saw- Eddie turns slowly back to the mirror, and there, leaning against the wall, “Billy?” Eddie breathes.

He looks over his shoulder again, just to make sure, but nope. He’s still definitely alone.

What?? Can you see me?

Billy moves, standing next to Eddie. He looks...good. Clean. Perfect. Blue jeans and a white polo with the collar popped a bit, gold chain around his neck. He looks exactly like Eddie remembers. “I thought you were like, inside my head?”

I am. I mean. I thought I was but...I can see me too.

Steve knocks, “Eddie? You talking to yourself man? You’re taking a while-���

“We should go, before he can untwist his panties, we can...check this again, later?”

Yeah. Yeah, later.

Part Two

[luvleyk]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚　˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

You're really fragile, at least that's what Bada think of you.. Since you would easily get tired, or get sick even. So she always there to look after you.. Even tho you always told her that you were fine, you can handle yourself, you're a grown up, not a baby.

"Y/N-ah.. I know, yeah?"

"I know you're all grown up and stuff.. But you can't just stop me from worrying about you"

She would say the same thing and hug you while caressing your hair as if she's trying to soothe you. It makes you frown since she always treat like a baby.. But you can't really stop her since she's just worried about you.

Whenever you're sick, she would immediately cancel all her plans and just stay beside you all day, constantly asking for your needs.

"I have your favorite stuff toys prepared for you to cuddle with.. I've also prepared the stuff you need just incase you feel unwell"

"Your medicines, ice pack... Do you even need an ice pack? Whatever... There's the tissue box, chocolates, if you feel like eating... Errr.. What else.."

You almost facepalmed at her continued ramblings. She's always like this.. She's a sucker at taking care of people, but you loved her for that.. At least she's trying her best.

"Do you need anything? Are you in pain? Do you want to go to the bathroom? Hungry?"

You would just shook your head in response. Of course, you just want to sleep. And not do anything.

There's also part when you're just practicing one of the choreos that she made and you got yourself tired so you flopped down on the wooden floor of the studio. And her. Being a worrywart. She quickly ran towards you, carrying a hand towel and her tumbler..

"Damn it... Don't faint on me.."

"I told you not to dance so hard."

"Look at you, breathing so heavily"

"Aish... Get up..."

She would grumble quietly as she wipe your sweat as you watch her while drinking from her tumbler.. It's funny to see how she would became a mess when it comes to you. She even scold you and you would just laugh at her, making her frown in confusion. Sometimes, she would think that she doesn't even know what to do.. You're just too stubborn. And she loves you and would do everything to keep you happy and safe..

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚　˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆

|A/N: yes fluff... I might post another imagines in the next few days... Soooo stay tuned

[unoriginal-and-dumb]

INTRO POST.

Hi, im UNO

I have a lot of names you can call me any version of my username. I’m an adult artist, I’ve been drawing seriously for (checks my awesome lightning McQueen watch) 5 years and animating for about 3! I’m primarily self taught, but am currently taking some college classes. I really like cartoons, games, and anything to do with space or cosmic horror

Please don’t tag my posts as ship art unless I specify it as such

I made that infected design!! Came all the way from my head to My math homework paper. Anywhere else you see a similar design is likely inspired from mine (which is fine, it’s only kinda weird when people start crediting someone else errr…. Don’t like that)

You don’t have to read all this, it’s just some stuff about me ⬇️

I do a lot of things other than regretevator, but since it’s my current hyperfixation it kinda just takes over everything

I have special interests in dead space, alien, the thing, nine inch nails, and pizza tower. I always fall back on those with the same love as usual so don’t be surprised seeing anything like/relating/or just of those

I am diagnosed ADHD, autism too I’m very very very INCREDIBLY INSANELY quiet and awkward with 1 on 1 conversations when I don’t know the person personally, sorry guys I may as well be a brick wall though. I am also generally a very private person

I don’t normally give two fucks about sharing sexuality but I feel it does explain things. I am VERY aromantic and UNBELIEVABLY asexual. Extremely sex repulsed, and I wouldn’t say romance *repulsed* but I am maybe just one step below it. It can get pretty bad and sometimes just ruins my day unfortunately. That’s why I ask people to please never tag my posts as ship art unless I do so!!

^ I am very nitpicky with it, but I do like certain ships to a degree! I enjoy Split and Bive, The Noise and Noisette, and a few others.

My page is welcoming to everyone, except for typical Dni criteria, no proshippers no hate none of that. I just wanna post my art and idk be annoying online 😄

I have never once in my god damn life made an intro post and I have never once wanted to either. HOWEVER, a lot of people have been mixing me up with like 2 other people and I don’t like that and neither do they believe it or not.

I’m hoping that introducing myself at all will help perhaps end that!

[ihavemanyhusbands]

Vidas Pasadas (Past Lives)

PART ONE: THE SHOW MUST GO ON

Mini-Series Masterlist

Also on AO3

Pairing: Cooper Howard/The Ghoul x Latina!Reader (Spanish speaking)

WC: 2.5k words

Series Summary: Before the great war, you were an actress—A good friend and frequent co-star of Cooper Howard. After two hundred years in cryogenic stasis, you’re being sent to New Vegas as a performer, but on the way there, things don’t go quite as planned.

Warnings: MINORS DNI, series is 18+, canon typical violence, some angst, friends to lovers-ish?, some miscommunications, eventual smut, chem use, there’ll be some Spanish in there for sure (with translations), cursing, the ghoul being the ghoul, aaaaand that’s all I can think of for now but lmk if anything else!

A/N: This is INCREDIBLY self indulgent, but imagine yourself in these shoes for a moment why don’t you? :) hope you enjoy! pt.1 dedicada ao meu amor @the-devils-littlegirl <33

——————-

The holotape was a little over two hundred years old, but it was in relatively good condition. It contained a talk show interview with two actors who were promoting a Western film. The image was in black and white, fuzzy with time, and the voices sounded tinny. 

“So tell me, both of you, what’s it been like working on so many pictures together?” The interviewer, Holden Boyd, asked. “This must be — what, the fourth one?”

“That’s right. You know, Holden, in all my years in this industry, I have never met anyone more professional,” Cooper Howard, the handsome hero of the film, turned to you, sitting beside him. “But she also knows how to keep things balanced between work and play. We laugh a lot behind the scenes, actually.”

“Really?” Holden asked, leaning forward with renewed interest. “Well, that doesn’t surprise me, you two have some incredible chemistry on screen.”

“Well, gee, Coop, do we really?” You couldn’t help but grin at him, making him chuckle. “Maybe that’s why we keep getting cast together.”

“And how’s his Spanish? Are you teaching him any?” Holden asked you. 

“I’ve certainly tried,” you said, raising an eyebrow in amusement. “Say something, why don’t you?”

Cooper’s smile turned sheepish, shaking his head. “Errr… No muy bueno, pero intento.”

His thick southern accent made you and Holden laugh, invariably charmed. In the background, claps and cheers from the live audience, equally smitten. Cooper always knew how to win people over, it was like second nature to him.

“He’s a natural!” Holden exclaimed. “Say the line Coop, you know the one.”

Cooper cleared his throat, squared his shoulders and pretended to point a gun, his expression fully serious.“Feo, Fuerte, y Formal.”

An eruption of cheers, louder than before. You clapped in delight, smiling ear to ear as you bumped your shoulder against his playfully.

“Ah, I see you’ve found our tapes,” the mechanical voice of vault thirty-one’s overseer startled you. 

You looked down at… it, still not used to interacting with a motorized brain suspended in some sort of tank. Bud, you thought it said its name was. Vaguely familiar, but your memories were still hazy, having been in cryogenic stasis for so long. 

“Why do you have these?” You asked.

“Everything pertaining to Hollywood was preserved for archival purposes. Feel free to watch anything you like,” Bud said. “We have all of your films, as well as interviews, press clippings, and pictures.”

You looked back at the screen, crossing your arms over your chest and trying not to shudder. You had me, too. You thought, stomach turning. A shiny toy shelved away for later use.

You’d gotten a spot in vault thirty one in exchange for compliance — after all, the future would need entertainers, right? And the nostalgia factor would just sell so well. You would be totally set for whatever came… or so they’d said.

It hadn’t seemed like a terrible deal at the time, but you hadn’t truly realized how tremendous the losses would be. Or how much things could veer off course in two centuries. 

Cooper was gone, and so was everyone else you had ever cared for. Bud hadn’t said what happened to your former co-star, but it didn't need to. 

 You had entered the vault all by yourself, with no family or spouse to consider. And just a few days ago, you had been greeted by that same loneliness when you’d emerged from the pod. 

Some things never changed, it seemed. Perhaps New Vegas wouldn’t be a terrible distraction, all things considered.

“Feels like it was only yesterday…” you said, keeping the melancholy out of  your voice.

“Doesn’t it? That’s the best part of the stasis pods. Keeps one fresh,” Bud said, chipper. “How’s your head feeling, by the way?”

“Better,” you sighed. “Barely any pain left.”

“Oh, good. You should be ready to travel to New Vegas in a couple more days. I’ve been in touch with a trusted courier that should be able to escort you there safely.”

A tinge of fear in your chest. “How… bad is it out there?”

“Well, er, it’s… not great. But we’ll get there! I’ve heard New Vegas has a lot more going for it than these parts,” Bud said quickly, not wanting to linger on the negative. “Vault twenty one, where you’ll be staying, was turned into a hotel. Lots of people passing by. I’m sure it’ll be easy for you to attract the crowds.” 

Stepping towards the projector, you ejected the holotape, unable to watch any more. The memories would consume you far too easily, if you let them. That life had crumbled to dust long ago, and there was nothing you could do to change that, either.

What other choice did you have but to trudge forward?

“For both our sakes, Bud, I really hope that’s true.”

————————————-

As with most things, Bud had severely understated just how bad things were on the surface. The sight of it had instantly struck you— Nothing was left but ruins and desert plains stretching as far as the eye could see. No one but you and the courier — a weathered, gruff looking middle-aged man — around for miles.

You’d left your vault suit behind in exchange for the clothes you’d worn when you first went in. You were also given a small survival pack, a tranquilizer gun, and a pip boy, but that was the extent of your belongings.

 The courier handed you a hat and an old scarf to cover yourself from the sun and the sand, instructing you to keep close before whirling around and starting to walk.

Did he even say what his name was? You couldn’t recall, but you were too busy being in shock to care too much.

It was all so unceremonious, unlike what you’d been used to in the past. No cars or any other mode of transportation, no roads to smoothly cruise on. No kind words offered for your departure, except for Bud’s overly enthusiastic Good luck! before opening the vault’s enormous door. 

“Say, how long do you think the… trip is going to take?” You asked, trying to keep your fear at bay. 

“Around three weeks, give or take. That is, if the weather holds and we keep a good pace during the day,” the courier said. “Can’t be out at night around these parts.”

You swallowed hard, wondering what sorts of dangers lurked out there. You had some stunt training, but no actual fighting skills. Hopefully, the tranq gun would be enough, but you also suspected your companion had far deadlier weapons.

Better to stay on his good side, you thought.

“First stop’s at a town called Filly. Got some quick business to take care of there, so we’ll be spending the night,” the courier continued when you didn’t respond. “Keep your head down and let me do the talking. Don’t want anybody to recognize you.”

You nodded, letting out a long sigh. 

“Hopefully they’ve got showers there,” you said, imagining how calming the hot stream of water might be. 

The courier looked at you over his shoulder, incredulous, and barked out a laugh. Your face heated up at his ridicule, mumbling something about vault dwellers to himself with a shake of his head. 

You walked in silence for the next couple of hours, trying to guess what area you might be passing through. Briefly, you wondered if the ruins of your old house still stood somewhere, and if you’d be able to find them. 

But you reminded yourself not to dwell on what no longer existed. 

Soon enough, you started to see signs of humanity. A few stragglers here and there, but the courier steered you in different directions whenever he spotted larger groups. Raiders, he’d told you, a grim look on his face.

 You hurried your step, wanting to put as much distance between you and them as possible. Bud had given you a very basic rundown of what you might encounter on the surface, but while some of it was hard to believe without seeing it firsthand, raiders did not fall under that category.

Still, despite the danger, at least you were reassured that you weren’t the only people left around. 

Filly was a ramshackle town made up of scraps;  A small testament of humanity’s endurance. Vendors were hawking questionable food and other wares at the outskirts of it, the tight pack of more bodies making you nervous. 

Your senses were invaded by smells and noises and even the occasional passerby bumping into you. Life was still brimming, as chaotic as it may seem. Somehow, it made you feel the smallest flicker of hope.

The courier led you through the crowd and down a rickety stairway towards a small square, where there was a little more room to move. The sun was beginning to set, bright tendrils of orange and gold tinting the sky. 

For a brief moment, you stopped to look at it, moved almost to tears by the simple beauty of a sunset. At least, that hadn’t changed either, and you vowed to never take them for granted again. 

“This way,” the courier said, urging you to move. 

Unbeknownst to you, someone had taken notice of the two of you. More specifically, the courier. A hit had been placed on him, worth three hundred caps. There was no reason given for it, but he hadn’t thought to ask questions, anyway. He didn’t much like meddling unnecessarily.

He surreptitiously followed behind, keeping his distance so you wouldn’t notice him. He already stuck out like a sore thumb, what with being a ghoul and all. But, like any bounty hunter worth his salt, he still knew how to lay low.

The courier led you into a repurposed building that rented out closet sized rooms. You paid with a few of the caps Bud had put in your survival pack, relieved that you wouldn’t have to share a room. 

The courier was curt but prudent, in his own way. You were just a task to him, and you knew he would protect you as best as he could because of it. You had nothing against him so far, but you didn’t want to take your chances regardless. 

“Stay in your room, I’m gonna head out for a bit. I’ll bring back some food,” he said, turning to leave.

“Wait!” You hurried behind him, out into the open, where it was growing darker. “Wouldn’t it be better to, uh, stick together?”

“It’s private business,” he grunted, annoyed. “Besides, you’ll be safer in there.”

“But—”

“Hey, you,” you heard from behind you, followed by a commanding whistle. “Sabinez, is it?”

The courier looked up, his eyes immediately widening. “Oh, fuck.”

You followed his gaze, finding a… cowboy. His face was mostly obscured underneath the brim of his hat, but his lack of a nose was still strikingly apparent. Radiation burns marred what little skin you could see, the rest covered in old, tattered leathers. 

A ghoul, from what Bud had described. The see-it-to-believe-it kind of danger. Your stomach dropped.

He was pointing his revolver at the courier – Sabinez –  finger about to squeeze the trigger.

“No, please!” You exclaimed, panicked. 

Foolishly, without even thinking about it, you stepped in front of him, arms extended in an attempt to further shield him. The ghoul raised his hairless eyebrows, both amused and surprised.

“I need him,” you said, heart beating so fast you feared it might leap out of your chest. “Please.”

“How sweet,” the ghoul said mockingly, one hand on his chest. “But as it turns out, sweetheart, I need him, too.”

Before you could react, he raised the barrel of the revolver infinitesimally and fired. A dizzying moment in which the bullet whizzed by your head, and Sabinez’s body slumped behind you, his blood spraying at your back. 

Any onlookers that had stuck around scattered to safety, not wanting to be next in line for whatever the ghoul had planned. You let out a choked sound, too shocked to even scream. Shuddering, you slowly looked over your shoulder, only to avert your gaze quickly.

“No,” you murmured, horrified. “No, no, no…Fuck!”

It was just your luck, encountering death the very first day you finally returned to the surface. You wondered if you should fall to your knees and beg for mercy, but your body refused to move.

The ghoul’s spurs clinked as he stepped towards you, and you raised your hands in surrender, keeping your eyes down.

“You the cargo?” He asked, tilting his head to one side in curiosity. “Let’s get a better look at’cha.”

You whimpered as he grasped one of your arms, his other hand tugging down the scarf that covered half your face. He seemed to hesitate for a moment, eyes roaming over your features.

“Look at me,” he ordered, voice low.

Swallowing hard, you finally dared to look up at him. Tears clung to your lashes, a stray one running down your cheek. He looked more skeletal up close, his eyes sunken in, cheekbones prominent, and of course there was the cavern where his nose would be. 

He removed your hat next, letting go of you and taking a step back. There was something in his expression you couldn’t quite decipher, but you felt a creeping sense of deja vu the longer you looked at him. 

“You…” he said, something like recognition in his voice, as well as disbelief.

“I–Please, I don’t know w-what he did to you but I don’t–” You started to babble, but he interrupted. 

“Where were y’all heading off to?”

“U-um, New Vegas, uh, sir?” You tried to smile placatingly, but it was watery and would slip away at any moment. 

Not only was it strange for him to see you alive and in the flesh, but you were also fearing him. He remembered your earnest smiles, genuinely pleased to see him. Then again, you hadn’t yet recognized who he was. 

He wasn’t entirely sure he wanted you to know, but he also didn’t really want to let you go on your own way. Plus, he’d just killed your only guide, so it was only fair that he took on the job and saw it through.

That way, he could try to find out more about all that had happened, without giving himself away.

“New Vegas, huh,” he mused, letting out a low whistle. “That’s a long ways away, especially if you don’t know where you’re goin’...But it’s your lucky night, sweetheart, ‘cus I just so happen to know the way.”

“R-really? I could pay you if you’d h-help me!” you said quickly, rummaging through your pack to show him some caps. “I’m not sure how much would be enough but… I’ll be making more once I start working.”

“Don’t get your panties in a twist now, we can do some negotiating later,” he drawled, lips curling in a smirk as he looked up at the building behind you. “Hope you don’t mind us bunking together.”

Your entire face heated up. “Uh, you can take his room. It’s already paid for.”

“Well, what a generous fella he was,” he said, tossing your stuff back at you. “Jus’ don’t come runnin’ when you get nightmares. I ain’t much of a cuddler.”

----

[milksuu]

can I get some headcannons based on Heartsteal being becoming fathers? Like how they were during the time their s/o was pregnant. :3c

Maybe a bonus on whether the child was planned or not.

❥ prompt: v!heartsteel expecting father headcanons with reader ❥ content/warnings: suggestive themes, foul language, pregnancy and all things related, baby genders mentioned ❥ characters/pairings: Heartsteel! (aphelios, ezreal, kayn) x pregnant!reader an;; forgive me, i am too sleepy tired to write for all the boys atm. ;w; fml my hc's for sett would make me fold errr maybe later

░꒱♡‿ִ₊˚→ APHELIOS

When you break the news, Aphelios forgets he primarily uses sign language to speak. To your surprise, and to his own, he uses broken words and barely audible sounds. Almost like a child learning to talk again. You have to help him by taking his hands, and guiding him to use them instead of straining his vocal cords.

'Are...are you sure?'

At first, it's difficult to process all the emotions. Happiness. Fear. Excitement. Anxiety. Love. Overwhelmed, he presses your hands against his face, hiding his unraveling expressions. Afer a beat, he chokes up. His hands squeezes yours, deepening your touch. And within moments, you're wrapped in his arms. And he presses as much of you into himself as he can. Holding you so close to his heart, you feel it pound against your cheek. As if to say; 'is it really okay for me to be this happy?'

To any outsider looking in, Aphelios seems disconnected and unenthusiastic about the whole situation. A plus-one wasn't planned, after all. When anyone asks about you and the baby, he replies with a simple 'Fine. Thanks.' And promptly diverts the subject back to work or anything else. But on the inside, the poor man is suffering. Constantly worrying about you and the babies well-being. In reality, he's too afraid to indulge in his own happiness and share it with others. Fearing the moment he does, it'll all shatter like glass in front of him. And he won't be strong enough to mend the pieces.

It's no surprise that his new chronic obsession consist of only making sure you and the growing baby are safe. He texts every hour, on the hour. Makes frequent video calls. And installs motion sensor cameras around the house, especially in places you could easily fall. And no, he doesn't mind watching you fold laundry or wash dishes for an hour while on a face call. So long as he can see you smiling and healthy, that's all he needs to assure him when he's not physically with you.

He's also pulling all nighters until his bottom eyelids are rimmed red. Reading hundreds upon hundreds of articles, forum posts, and online material on how to be a 'Good Father'—especially one who can't speak. Jotting down everything he can in his notebook, bleeding pen after pen dry from ink. There's plenty of times you have to wake up in the middle of the night and convince him back to bed. But only after reassuring him a thousands times how great of a father he'll be.

When the baby bump begins to show, Aphelios presses his ears against your stomach. Listening to the life you carry inside you. The amniotic sounds ease his intrusive thoughts, and lulls him to sleep; he always imagines he's taking a nap right beside the baby. Plus, he loves getting the small bit of attention from you as you run your fingers through his hair. A moment of selfishness he can't help but relish all for himself.

As for sex...well, he's not always on board with the idea. As much as he craves to be inside you everyday, especially when your body looks so heavenly full, he just doesn't want to risk anything. Especially in your later months. Last thing he wants to do is induce an early labor. But he's more than willing to devote his hands and mouth to satisfy every inch of you that he can. Worshipping you with adoring kisses and soft touches from head to toe. He's happy to please you, and doesn't expect anything in return in your state. (Of course, you do anyway.)

Familial genetics is one heck of a thing. Aphelio's eyes are blown wide at an image screen that shows two babies growing side-by-side. When it's conclusive you'd be having identical twin boys, he almost collapses in front of the ultrasound technician. So not one—but two—surprise gifts waited for him at the end of the third-trimester. And if they would be anything like him, their house would be a pranking death trap to all who entered. No one would be safe, except for mom.

░꒱♡‿ִ₊˚→ EZREAL

When you show Ezreal your pregnancy result, he looks at it with complete shock. He's locked in silence, which is never a good thing for someone as talkative as him. You almost have second thoughts about revealing the news until he bounces to you and gathers you in his arms. Eyes brimming with tears of absolute joy.

"No way—No way! Are you telling me I'm going to be a dad? Babe, for real. Is that what these two lines mean? Are you kidding me? This is the happiest freakin' day of my life!"

Ezreal has always been a fan of surprises, and this big news was no exception. Everywhere he went, no matter the conversation, he'd just casually state he was becoming a father. Didn't matter the person or group setting. Family. Friends. The neighbor; his neighbor next to him. The young teen delivering packages to his door. The grandmother and her toy-poodle waiting in line at the convenience store. If anyone was around him, he was boasting about you and the now expected bundle of joy.

Ezreal tries his bestest to help you around the house. He's never been great at chores, but he's a happy little helper eager to listen and please. You tell him exactly what you need from him, and he'll do it with a smile on his face. Anything that keeps your stress levels low, he wants to be the one you rely on to ease your burden.

Ezreal can't lie and say he understands everything about pregnancy and what you're going through. It all seems to go right over his head. The only thing he seems to get is your morning sickness, because he's literally feeling it too. Seeing you nauseous gets his own sympathetic response going. So while he's trying to comfort you, holding your hair as you hover over the toilet, he's also cradling the nearby trash bucket for himself. (How romantic!)

When your stomach grows, Ezreal can spend hours and hours talking to it. He never runs out of topics. Even mentioning the most mundane parts of his everyday life. These moments are when he feels he's bonding most with his child to be. He'll pretend to tell the baby secrets that you don't even know about, and whispers out loud with a wink, "but don't tell your mom about that one, 'kay?"

Ezreal is literally terrified to have sex with you. And not because he doesn't find your body attractive. But he actually believes he'll poke the baby's eye out, or pop you like a water balloon. And if that ever happened, the guilt would forever destroy him. It takes a visit to the obgyn and for a professional to explain that it's perfectly safe to have sex during your pregnancy. He's hesitant at first, but after the first go around, his confidence and sex drive picks right where it left off. (He regrets not going at it like rabbits sooner.)

When you're at your routine ultrasound appointment, Ezreal can't stop the tears parading down his face, even before he knows it's a boy. Hiccuping and siffling, one hand squeezes yours tight, while the other points at the imaging. "H...He...looks just...like me." It's endearing for him to think that. When the monitor only shows splotchy and fuzzy spots of the babies butt. The copied images to take home are his favorite photos taken. Ever.

░꒱♡‿ִ₊˚→ KAYN

When you break the news to Kayn, he doesn't hesitate to pull you in by the waist, pressing your hips together. Guiding a hand to the back of your neck, in a manner that was gentle and not comparable to how he fucked you senselessly. And with all the care in the world, he takes your lips.

"Damn. You're fertile as Hell. It only took us one time after you stopped your birth-control. Honestly, it's really fuckin' hot. How about we—you know—to celebrate?"

Counter to popular belief, Kayn brought up the idea to start a family first. When you asked him the reason, he first joked around a bit, telling you how hot and sexy it would be to 'impregnate you with his seed'. But, he put aside his usual impulsivities, and explained his desire to move on to the next part of his life. He was done with the partying and drugs. Over the one night stands and dating random no-nobodies. And just wanted to have a more meaningful, family oriented life—with you.

To show he's committed to the whole idea, he takes days off from his idol schedule to go to every prenatal check-up appointment. He plucks and stuffs every pamphlet into his pockets he can find around the waiting lobby. He asks tons of questions to the obgyn, and stuffs more educational brochures in his pockets. You have to scold him when he tries to snag a small uterus replica from the exam room. Kayn defends himself, wanting it for "educational" purposes. (Rhaast just wanted it as a neat souvenir.) He settles when a medical assistant gives him a sperm shaped pen.

Kayn is another one that isn't great with house chores. (But he'll gloat and say he's mastered cleaning the dishes, at the very least.) He's generally better at being sent for errands outside the home. If you need an extra ingredient to make dinner, he'll hop on his motorcycle and get it in record time. And if you're not feeling up for cooking, he'll order pick-up from your favorite place in town. You need to send a package at the post office? He'll wait hours in line on the busiest day of the week. Whatever he can do for you, he makes sure it gets done. So you never have to worry about something once you pass the responsibility to him. Showing you he's a more than capable partner and future father.

When your baby bump starts to show, Kayn's favorite thing to do is touch it. Applying the softest pressure as he runs his hands and finger across your rounding stomach. He's always enamored whenever he feels the baby move; another reminder of how amazing you are. And he never forgets to vocalize it. "You're so goddamn beautiful, you know that?" he'll say like you've cursed him. Cradling your face and taking your mouth.

You never have to tell this man more than once to touch or have sex with you. It's part of his daily routine a this point. And definitely one of his favorite ways to bond with you. But now that you're pregnant, it's as if the sex between you two has shifted into another plane of pleasurable existence. Never getting enough of it, even moments after finishing. But on the days you're not up for it, he respects it. And doesn't mind defaulting to cuddling, before dozing off to sleep with you in his arms. (But he eagerly counts down the time for when you're in the mood again.)

Kayn tries not to show to much of his softer-side; he rather be the one to have his shoulder wet than yours. But at your ultrasound appointment, once it's confirmed you're having a girl, his whole punk 'fuck only the hot police' persona collapses. You notice him clear his throat, and quickly swipe a knuckle at the corner of his eyes. He masks this dent of composure by huffing a laugh, "Guess I'm, uh...going to be kicking the crap out of a lot of asses later."

[transformee]

The Naughty List

“The f- uh, can I help you?” Rick wasn’t sure how else to respond in the moment as he walked into his living room to find a large man in a red costume hunched over next to the fireplace.

“Oh, wonderful! Yes, perfect timing as a matter of fact. I was hoping I could wrap up this last stop quickly.” The man put his gloved hand on the mantle and hoisted himself upright, leaving little doubt as to his identify as he turned to face Rick. The beard, the belly, the suit – it was all there.

“Ok then, errr… Santa. I’ll play along. Did Jace put you up to this? How did you even get in here?”

“Why, through the chimney of course, just like always! Things just took a bit longer this year, but here I am!”

“Yeah, I mean, aren’t you a bit late? It’s almost New Years…”

The normally jolly look on Santa’s face soured a bit, although Rick didn’t notice. “Well, there are a couple billion more people than there used to be,” said Santa, dripping with rare sarcasm. “And no one is happy with the simple things anymore, so everything has to be bigger and bigger and better than ever before for social media and-“ Santa snapped out of his little rant, coming back to his senses. "But enough about that. Those gifts are reserved for those on the Nice list. These Naughty stops are usually much faster," he said with a chuckle.

"Ah, so I'm on the Naughty list, eh," Rick said with a smirk, now convinced that this was just a prank or little bit of roleplay that his boyfriend Jace had arranged. "What does that run these days? A few extra lumps of coal from inflation?"

"Sometimes yes, actually. It varies quite widely though, you see. And I do tend to save something... special for my last stop. it makes the rest of my year until next Christmas season much more enjoyable! And you, my little Dickie, have been on the Naughty list for so long, you finally earned that last spot..."

"Dickie? No one has called me that since I was like-"

"8, in fact."

Rick's previously amused expression slowly darkened. "And how the hell would you know THAT? I've never told anyone that, not even Jace."

"Oh, you know how all the songs go... I've been watching you for a long time, Dickie. Or would you prefer another moniker? Big Dick Rick, perhaps?"

"Ok, well, I don't have time for this anymore. Suit yourself." Rick turned around with a huff, intending to leave and accost Jace over the weird interaction in their home.

"Very well - I'll do just that!" A red cloud enveloped Rick from behind as Santa blew a handful of red dust that he had fished out from a punch on his large traditional belt. Rick coughed and waived his arms around before the cloud seemed to thicken and swirl around him until...

"THE FUCK-!?"

Just a quickly as it had swallowed him, the red cloud dissipated and left Rick wide-eyed and speechless. His clothes had all evaporated with Santa's smoke, and he was hovering a few inches above the ground. Santa just smirked as Rick spun his arms and legs around, trying to orient himself and regain some control.

"Ah, that's better! As you said, Rick, I don't have time for this early, so let's get this show on the road. I was going to give you and Jace the same special treatment that I usually save for my last stop, but I just thought of something different for you. Now... come to Santa!"

Rick's ass started to pull backwards towards Santa, with the rest of Rick floating along with it. Meanwhile Santa quickly unbuckled his belt and let his trademark pants fall to the floor, releasing his jolly belly and reveling a modest-but-erect cock aimed right at Rick's ass.

"Wait! Wha- what are you doing?!? N- EE!" Rick's protests ended with a high pitched squeak as Santa's cock slid right into his hole, leaving him mounted mid-air on Santa's crotch. A small moan escaped both their lips before Rick snapped back to his senses, albeit momentarily.

"N- no! This isn't- JACE! Jace! Ja..." Rick's words slurred and his eyes rolled back slightly as a bit more red dust sprinkled down from Santa's glove above his head.

"There, there... Just relax. That'll make this next part faster and more enjoyable for both of us," cooed Santa in Rick's ear. And with that, Santa leaned forward slightly and started to rub his gloved hands down Rick's muscular thighs, rounding his knees before pulling up slightly on his shins and feet. Again and again, Santa gently tucked Rick's lower body up towards his own as the changes slowly became more and more noticeable. With each pass, Rick's legs diminished in size, rounding off and lifting up towards their new home. Santa's balls hung low as Rick's feet finally made contact, merging and sinking inside. Within a matter a moments, Rick's legs had been fully engulfed by Santa's nuts, which now sat slightly larger in Santa's hand. He rolled them around with his gloved fingers, eliciting another louder moan from them both. And then, at least the most perfect or most awkward time...

"Rick, babe, was that you? Did you need help with something?" Jace descended the stairs down in the hall in front of the living room, giving him a direct view of the show. "Babe, what did yo-" Jace's eyes grew wide like saucers at the sight of his legless cross-eyed boyfriend magically suspended out from Santa's crotch. He would have been speechless even if a bolt of Santa's dust hadn't smacked his as soon as he turned the corner, leaving him frozen in place. A few muffled screams faded quickly as the calming effects of Santa's magic took hold.

"Oops! Well that was some interesting timing... Sorry about that, Jace, but you'll just have to wait there for your turn. Don't worry - it won't be long!"

And with that, Santa refocused on the task at hand, quite literally. "Well first, we need to do something about these big broad shoulders of yours!" Santa reached out his large hands and started to caress and press them on Rick's traps, pulling down and back and around from the base of his neck. Just like with his legs, each pass of Santa's hands brought accelerating changes as Rick's muscular shoulders and arms began to smooth down and slowly merge into his torso. Rick's biceps flexed a couple final times on reflex, but that didn't last long as they disappeared into the rest of him. Rick's new shape was becoming more and more clear unbeknownst to him. He simply remained a moaning mess mounted on Santa's cock.

"Mmmmmm, now for the best parts," Santa moaned as he reached back down towards his balls before stroking upwards. He hadn't forgotten that Rick's rock hard cock was still protruding, but not for long. Rick let out his loudest moan yet, and his eyes rolled back again as Santa pressed his cock against his abs, again and again, pressing it deeper and deeper until only Rick's smoothed abs remained. Rick groaned one last time before a different sound finally emerged - more of a gurgle. Santa purred at the new noise. "Mmmmmmm, yes, that's what I've been waiting for. That's what I love to hear..." Shifting his focus one final time, Santa stretched out with both hands as far as he could, just barely able to reach Rick's handsome face. Santa gently caressed Rick's cheeks as he pulled backwards, stroking what remained of Rick's body with both hands all the way down both sides from head to hips, stopping only to give Rick's pecs and nipples a squeeze on the way. The little bit of Rick's consciousness that struggled to hang on quickly lost its will as it felt like Santa's cock was growing inside of him with every stroke. The reality of course was slightly different as it was actually Rick's body dwindling in size. His mind was too mushy to notice however as Santa gave his pecs and nipples one last tease before they disappeared, causing that gurgling sound to bubble up from within Rick again and a dab of drool, or at least something that looked like drool, to dribble out the corner of his mouth and down his chin. Rick's hips had already disappeared into Santa's at this point, leaving what was left of him firmly attached. Santa's floating magic was barely even needed at this point as Santa had shrunk what was left of Rick down down past 3 feet to less than 2. His hands now easily reached all the way around Rick's body, so it was time to finally focus on Rick's head. Santa's gloves gently slid around his face, smoothing his forehead and chin back and down. It only took a few strokes before all that was left was Rick's tiny face on the tip of Santa's significantly larger rock-hard cock. Any illusion of Rick's torso was long gone, with cock veins clearly straining along what had been his body. Cum clearly leaked from his lips as he bobbed up and down a bit, and Rick's glazed eyes could only stare straight up at Santa's jolly face smiled down at him from above. And with that, the last thing that Rick saw was Santa's gloves bearing down on his one last time for one last tug, as his final features smoothed away, leaving just an engorged pink drooling head on the end of the dick that Rick had always been.

Santa groaned as Rick's transformation completed, with every last bit of nerve and fiber finally merged with his own.

"Nnggghhhhhhh, Big Dick Rick indeed..." Santa moaned as his new python of a cock started to soften slightly, all the while continuing to drool. "And for your first performance..." Santa's eyes gleamed as he turned and his mouth drew into a wide smirk... 'I'm going to need a volunteer!"

Horrified didn't even begin to cover it as Jace remained wide-eyed and frozen, staring at his former boyfriend leaking onto the floor from between Santa's jiggling thighs.

"For you, Jace, I've saved the usual 'gift' I give at the end of the season. This one is more for me really, but every now and then a recipient even enjoys it too! Now, don't be shy..." Santa playfully motioned for Jace with his index finger, calling him over.

"Mmmmm... mmmmmm!" Jace tried to cry out but could only manage a muffled protest as he felt himself lift off the ground slightly and twist and angle directly towards Santa. Then, suddenly and far faster than Rick had hovered, Jace was flung across the room in an instant, like a magnet flying to it partner. Jace's destination was far from a magnet however, as Big Dick Rick barreled his way between Jace's lips with a satisfying *schlorp*. Jace gagged from having such a massive member suddenly down his throat, but he quickly relaxed as a light sprinkle of that familiar red dusted his face. His eyes crossed and rolled back as he started to go to town on his former boyfriend, using every trick and tongue that he had ever learned. Santa practically roared in pleasure.

"Good lord, boy! I didn't even suggest... any...JESUS, you're good at this!" Santa could barely form a thought while getting what must've been the best blowjob of his life. He only wished it could've lasted longer, but Rick was so... so... sensitive...!

Three souls groaned as Santa's body started to buck and his 'gift' started to pour into Jace. A torrent of cum and mass and magic erupted from Rick's old lips straight down Jace's throat - far more than should have been physically possible. But this was no normal load, as Jace's body started to quiver. Not that Jace could discern anything further, but Santa's ample body was undergoing a change of its own. His belly shook like a bowl full of jelly as it receded inwards, all while Jace's breathing grew more labored. His tight-fitting clothes groaned, stretching at the seams as Jace expanded in all directions. Every part of him inflated like a balloon as Santa's did the opposite, with the disappearing mass revealing a sculpted physical behind. After the magical climax, Santa slowed stepped back, sliding his cock out of his cock's boyfriend's now-chubby face. Jace slumped to the floor on his knees, leaving his rotund rear end sticking up in the air.

"Aahhhhhh, that always feels soooooo much better, like the best version of getting your hair cut." A barely recognizable figure chuckled over the comatose boyfriend on the floor. Santa's traditional clothes started to shimmer and warp as they slowly reformed on his body. His coat pulled in quickly and tightly, foregoing new sleeves while his baggy pants snaked out from the ground, wrapping themselves around Nick’s tight thighs with a trim fit before covering the softening cock inside, sealing it in its new home.

"This is what can happen to those on the Naughty list, gentlemen. Now, we can revisit your Naughty status near year, depending on your behavior of course. But with that, I think we can call this season a wrap! Time to hit up somewhere warm like Miami and have some fun for a bit!” And with that and a little strut, Nick made his way out of the house, giving Jace’s ample airborne ass a little slap along the way. He stretched his muscles, now on full display, and summoned his list with a puff of red smoke to cross his last names off for the year. However…

“Well what’s this? Did I miss one somehow? I guess we have one more quick stop this year, Rick!” said Nick as he pawed at his crotch with a smirk. “Now let’s see. Bryce… Bryce… are we Naughty or Nice! Ah ha! N-“

———————————————————————

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and Happy New Year to all, especially @bizzhideaway ! 😁

[turtleybeachin]

The Boys Trying to Help with a Menstrual Cycle

Has this been done? Sure. Am I writing it anyway at 2:30am with a mug of mulled wine? Hell yes I am.

(content warning: discussion of menstrual cycle products. MC has a menstrual cycle and vagina but no gender assigned. involves demon men being pretty oblivious but honestly not worse than human cis men.) *edited, thank you to the anon who pointed out my mistake. ♥

Mammon's the one texting to ask "yo human what size is. ... hey what size your ... ... ya know. ... how big is your ... ... it's cool no matter what size ya know all sizes are great you're perfect no judgement just. .... small medium or large????"

Satan is like "You can't ask a person what size their vagina is you moron." He's read enough about the issue at hand to know these are flow levels not vagina sizes anyway. Still not sure which to get though. Buys one of everything better safe than sorry.

Lucifer rolls his eyes confidently picks up the most expensive package of regular pads and regular tampons. Looks like he knows what he's doing. Is 100% faking it.

Beelzebub's worried about the flavor of the tampons. Won't lemon be unpleasant when they're already in pain? Those look like probably key-lime pie which sounds good. He'll buy two packs, one to sample on the way home. (he's distressed to report they don't taste like anything the colors are lies.)

Asmodeus goes straight for whatever has been popping up the most ads or getting the most discussion on DevilGram. Only the cutest and trendiest for his favorite human!!! Also gets you some cute underwear gotta dress up your time of the month~

Leviathan's just having a complete panic attack feels like other people are staring and judging him THESE AREN'T FOR ME, THEY'RE FOR MY-- errr, I mean, not my r-really, but... m-maybe sorta my-- OH MY DIAVOLO I'M BEING SUCH A NORMIE I'M BUYING PADS FOR SOMEONE THIS IS LIKE IN THAT ONE ANIME--

(Don't worry, after a text from them cheering him on and thanking him for being the perfect Lord of Shadows to their Henry he Demons Up and buys five of everything because DAMN STRAIGHT HE'S TAKING CARE OF HIS HENRY BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE.)

Belphegor just picked up the squishiest package and that's what they're getting. If these don't work for them, at least it'll be a decent pillow in a pinch.

Bonus:

Solomon is the one competent man in the whole gaggle. He actually knows what menstrual flows are and whether MC prefers pads or tampons, because he asked, because he knows these things. Is the only one to actually know what he's buying.

Diavolo has Barbatos send them a year's supply of absolutely every menstrual product either of them could find anywhere in both the Devildom and Human Realm. Congratulations on the storage facility now in their name that has two lifetimes' worth of menstrual supplies.

Simeon just asks. That's it that's the whole shtick. He just asks specifically which they need and admits he doesn't know much about these products but is willing to learn. He'll text them photos from the store but also offer to go somewhere else if none of that looks right.

[jrow]

May Prompts (25)

Day 24 here. Start from the beginning here. Day 26 here.

Intuition

He may not be Sherlock Holmes, but he trusts his intuition.

In fact, right now his intuition is probably a hell of a lot more reliable than Sherlock’s. He’s seen what Sherlock will do when blinded by anger.

It’s time for Captain Watson to take control.

“Don’t look out the window,” he hisses through a smile. “Keep looking at me or Rosie. Look happy.”

“But John—“ Sherlock argues, gesticulating wildly.

“Sherlock. Trust me.” He knows his tone leaves no room for argument. Even from the great Sherlock Holmes.

Sherlock freezes and then starts fidgeting slightly awkwardly. He seems almost … flustered. But then he gives a tiny nod and plasters on a fake smile while keeping his eyes firmly on Rosie.

“Good. Now, you are going to get up and go order two coffees. And I am going to call Mrs. Hudson and ask her to pick up Rosie from here.” He looks at his daughter who is happily scribbling with the crayons and blank paper they brought. He thinks maybe he can see some hearts among her chaos of lines. “We aren’t doing anything until we get Rosie out of here.”

That seems to get through to Sherlock. “Right. Of course. Coffees.”

They proceed with their tasks and soon are back at the table, pretending to have a normal conversation while they wait for their landlady. It’s excruciating.

“Who is he?” Sherlock asks, leaning back in his chair, the picture of relaxation.

“I don’t remember his name but he was on the scene at the … Smith abduction case maybe? Something around that time.” He takes a drink of coffee. “And the bastard has been one of the constables assigned to my room too. Changed his hair and shaved off his moustache but definitely the same guy.”

“Of course, I should have known. No man in their right mind would dye their hair that colour. He’s hoping you won’t make the connection,” Sherlock says, picking up one of the crayons and drawing a happy face beside Rosie’s scribbles. She giggles and snatches the crayon from his hand, having decided she needs the yellow at this very instant. “He seems to think he has a lot to lose. I have no doubt he’s planning an escape—somewhere in Europe most likely.”

To anyone else, he’s sure Sherlock sounds calm, but he hears the quiet fury lacing every word.

He doesn’t know what to say, so they sit in silence for a moment. He drinks his coffee and Sherlock and Rosie play a game of keep away with the crayons.

“I wonder how Larkin got mixed up in all this. Hate to say it, but I feel a bit sorry for the guy,” he finally says, mostly to pass the time.

“That’s easy,” Sherlock says, keeping his focus on Rosie. “Constable Needs-to-Die happened upon Mr. Larkin in the midst of some crime. Something serious that would come with significant jail time. The constable looked the other way in exchange for a major favour, which he called in when he decided he needed to get you out of the picture.” A pause. “Feel no sympathy. Robert Larkin got exactly what he deserved.”

That rather somber sentiment is quickly dissipated by Rosie’s squeals of delight and calls of “Nana” that announce Mrs. Hudson’s arrival. She’s trying to jump down from the booster even before Mrs. Hudson made her way through the door.

“What did you tell her?” Sherlock asks quietly, leaning close.

“Just that I … errr… just that I was hoping to have a little extra time alone with you,” he says, feeling the heat in his cheeks rise. It’s not that far from the truth, really, but feels like a confession of sorts.

Mrs. Hudson swoops in and hugs Rosie before Sherlock can respond. “There’s my little princess, let’s get you in your pushchair. We are going to have so much fun!” For a woman pushing 80, Mrs. Hudson is impressively spry. She quickly gets everything together (eschewing all help), including getting Rosie all buckled in without a fuss.

“Thank you, Mrs. Hudson,” Sherlock says, his voice neutral but his toe tapping rather aggressively.

“It’s my pleasure, boys. You two have fun,” Mrs. Hudson replies with a wink. “Don’t get into too much trouble.” Her words are light but there’s a look in her eye that makes him think she understands the urgency. In a flash, she and Rosie are gone.

He tries to pick up his coffee but his hands are shaking in anticipation of what’s to come. And relief that, whatever happens, Rosie is safe in Baker Street. Where she belongs.

It’s also relief that he is here with Sherlock, about to do … whatever it is they are about to do. Together. It’s where they belong.

“John,” Sherlock says, forcefully. “Rosie is safe. It’s time to do things my way now.”

Time to follow intuition once again.

“Dear god, yes.”

@keirgreeneyes @raina-at @totallysilvergirl @meetinginsamarra @jolieblack @phoenix27884 @friday411 @calaisreno @lisbeth-kk @safedistancefrombeingsmart @momma2boys @helloliriels @dapetty @quimerasyutopias

[orchidsangel]

Dick doesn’t think abt it but he is touch starved. He’s loves touching you. Squeezing your waist as he passes by, holding hands no matter him impractical it is (interlocked hands while he texts Bruce back, plays games with Gar, reading through case-files and waiting for his turn at the bakery, thumping the piece of paper with his number).

When you finally call him out for it, he denies it.

“What? Me, touch starved? No, what makes you think-“ He’s cut off by you holding of your interlocked hands, pen squeezed between his fingers.

“You’ve adapted to do everything while holding my hand.” He doesn’t know how to explain himself, so ignores it.

(He starts holding your hand, holding you, even more now.)

he's so in denial about it but every time he's within a few feet of you he finds himself walking the distance to touch you in any way. a hand on your lower back, an arm around your shoulders, or both wrapped around your waist. you don't mind at all, in fact you enjoy it (but that's not gonna stop you from teasing him about it). you bring it up and he's just full blown denying it, "what so i can't want to touch my girlfriend anymore ???" and you're like errr that's not what i said. he's kinda defensive, not really, just like ?? you blindsided the poor man with an accusation (the truth) what else is he supposed to do?? but he eventually leans into it, becomes really fucking shamless. you have to start apologizing for the way he comes up behind you and pulls you in to kiss him sometimes. the dirty looks you guys get are lethal but that man dgaf !!

[queenofmistresses]

sub velvette head canons so I can sleep at night pls

A/n this ask is too real hope you enjoyy

• velvette has a LOT of responsibilities

• not just with running her own part of the vee’s company, but with making sure vox and val aren’t being idiots

• so her favourite part of the day is getting home and being able to completely relax and let someone else be in control

• and boy does she let you be in control

• i feel as though the from second she walks through the door at the end of the day to the moment she leaves for work, she would want you to fully be in control

• just complete go dumb and not have to think

• would want a ton of praise and a ton of degradation all at once

• would love to think of herself as being owned by you

• would love how protected it would make her feel

• would be very into exploring new things with you

• wouldn’t like everything but would be willing to try anything once as long as conversations are had ofc

• she would love being tied up

• loves being completely helpless for you

• would love edging and overstimulation

• loves the teasing and humiliation that can be held against her for both

• would love being called things like dumb and useless etc

• loves letting every thought drain from her mind and letting you do all of the thinking

• likes being used and you doing what you can to show who’s in charge

• (you obvi)

• has a bit of a pain kink

• nothing extreme, spanking, light choking

• errr yeah that’s all off the top of my head

• sleep well 😉

[fyodoro]

𝟓:𝟒𝟏𝐩𝐦 - 𝐂𝐲𝐧𝐨

-> happy birthday to the best character in this damned game :,)

there’s a reallyy bad joke lurking in this…, errr not proofread i winged this bc i needed to give my #1 a bday fic (i procrastinated)

Cyno has always made a point to attend his close friend’s gatherings.

Although, it proved to be quite difficult at times. His duties as the General Mahamatra were real workloads and could take days or even weeks to complete. If he wanted a day off, he’d have to give notice far ahead of time.

Despite of any odds stacked against him, he always finds a way to overcome them for the sake of his friends.

Of course, Cyno would never admit that. While he may give kind words here and there, he’d never admit outright that he cares deeply about those around him. But you’ll always notice it in his actions. You can notice anything in his actions, in fact.

Like right now. As he lies on his side at 11:58pm, two minutes before his birthday. Just what kind of person doesn’t stay up till midnight before their birthday?

“Cynoo….” You cooed. “Did you forget what day it was?” Cyno grumbled on his side, annoyed with the seemingly meaningless disturbance in rest.

“Friday? It’s just another day, unless you’re in Fontaine. I’m sure Fries on Friday are a favorite in that nation.” He said nonchalantly, switching from laying on his side to his back.

Much to your annoyance, his right arm extended over your frame carelessly as he stared at the ceiling. Sleep lurked in his red hues, but his facial features made it clear he was still awake and alert. You couldn’t imagine balancing rest and consciousness the way he does.

“Don’t play dumb you scholar, did you seriously forget what today is?” By this point, you were already sitting up, eyes slightly widened in disbelief. “It’s your birthday, Cyno.”

“It’s just another day. Why don’t you go back to sleep? Everyone else in Sumeru is probably dead asleep by now.” He moved his arm from your lap to your shoulder, gently pushing you down in an attempt to get you to lay back down.

“Just another day?”

“…yeah?”

You groaned in frustration at his mentality. He’ll be there for everyone else’s birthday, yet completely disregard his own.

“If a birthday is just another day, then why did you make sure everything was perfect when we were celebrating Collei’s birthday? You somehow got Alhaitham to stay the whole time!” You recalled the joy on the girl’s face when all her friends surprised her that day, all thanks to Cyno and Tighnari’s arrangements.

“That was different,” He dismissed. “She’s still a kid, a kid who’s been through a lot. And before you bring up anyone else’s birthdays- Tighnari is my best friend, you’re my lover, Kaveh is stuck with Alhaitham, and Alhaitham… he’s a hard worker.” He refuted any argument you could make next.

“So you just… don’t remember your birthday?” You asked.

“Not until someone else mentions it.” He replied.

“So when I told you to ask for a day off on June 23rd, you didn’t think anything of it?” His eyes widened slightly at the realization, the first reaction you’ve seen come from him since the conversation started.

“I thought you had something important you wanted to do today.”

“Nope,” You chuckled. “I just didn’t wanna see you working so hard on your birthday.”

He stared at you for a while, expression becoming more and more unreadable. “Come here..”

You giggled seeing him back down like that. He was stubborn, but so were you. Playful backs and forths always ended with one you pulling the other in for a hug, kiss, or in this case, cuddles.

“I can’t believe you were that far ahead of me.” He mumbled. “And here I thought there was a surprise TCG event you were taking me to.”

You held back your laughter, because that is on the to-do list for today. That and the surprise you and Tighnari have been arranging for Cyno since you got him to take today off. But he’ll find that out later.

“Happy birthday, Cyno.” You lean in to kiss him, which he happily accepted.

He may not care for his birthday like he cares for other’s, but he knows it’ll be a good one with you around.

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

This is just me rambling and stuff, and this is the only way i could get out my monty brainrot and a little bit of yves brainworm out of my head, but just ignore it if it's cringe or too insane

I think with the way Yves would take care of me thoroughly and know me so well would unsettle me at times, but ultimately it would probably cement his place as a comforting and caring platonic partner in my head 😭😭 cause i know i would be thinking like "oh! He's so inspiring! I think he's the perfect role model for how i should take care of myself and love the people close to me ^^" <- absolutely missing the point and every romantic gesture i would misunderstand (what lacking romantic experience does to a mf) as something he does with other ppl, even though i would imagine that he's barely seen with anyone else than his darling :'); or maybe he would account for the fact that i misunderstand things? But i have a feeling that he would catch on to the fact that I'm a bit of a blockhead

Imo i think that i would choose Monty over Yves, despite everything that he did for me; maybe because he's done so much for me, i would probably feel immeasurably guilty even if he does say he likes doing it and personally, the power imbalance in both his material and physical qualities as well as the lack of vulnerability would intimidate me 🫠🫠 errr in a way, Monty I love so much because of how loving, protective and accepting he is, he's got characteristics that are close to my type!! (might also be the fact that to some extent, he can be controlled :3); he's endearingly trying his best and flopping a lot, but at least he listens to valid criticism 🥰🥰 he's... Cute... And maybe because of the food too, since receiving and giving food is a big sign of love for me <3 His messiness is a bit of a charm to me, because personally it takes a lot of guts and vulnerability to show someone how messy you are physically and mentally, or well, maybe its pity over the depression mess 😔 One thing i want to know is if he'll ever get immune to his darling's romantic and sexual advances and throw it right back similarly? Or is still gonna be giggling and kicking his feet on the bed over it? And i wonder how his reaction would be towards a darling that starts off meek and quiet, but gets more dominant and pursues him as well? Man, i want this guy pegged <3 And to get him pregnant <3 I want to give him backshots that make him better or worse :3

Anyway, this is also a way of grieving over not choosing Monty over Cyprus 😔 because i read Cyprus first before Monty and i regret picking him for the poll 🤧 but, I'm looking forward to any potential Monty content and how this silly guy locks in or flop <3

Boy oh boy do I have the ask for you

Thanks for the ramble anon it was a good read 👍

Well Yves does act accordingly to your personality. If you are pretty clueless BUT would accept him as your ONLY romantic partner for life, he would be extremely straightforward, cutting to the chase and be clear in what he wants the relationship to be (it was exhibited in Best and Worst of Both worlds)

But if he predicts that you will reject him or eventually cheat on him later in the relationship despite all the measures to stop you from doing so, he will remain platonic. And his prediction model is horrifyingly accurate. Mans will even reject YOU if he knows you can't keep it in your pants 💔

Oh yeah if it's vulnerability you're looking for Yves is ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT the man you're looking for homie 😭 he is THE fort knox of mental illness, you can (almost) never catch him lacking and is always locking in while Monty is human

Literally Yves isn't actually human anymore

Here are other pieces of writing that has monty in it, idk if you seen them yet but it was all clumped together with Yves's MASSIVE sections

What makes Monty wanna fuck you (the lower half of this post is just Yves waffles)

Montgomery as a dad (scroll to like half of it to skip Yves's part)

Yves isn't necessarily okay with being only a platonic yandere

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Thoughts on TBB 3x10: Identity Crisis and 3x11: Point of No Return

SPOILERS BELOW

Let's not start kidnapping kids for experimentation. That's never going to go well

This show has progressively gotten greyer and it's so depressing. I want my sunshine back

Of course the Empire are experimenting on kids. "Oh we cAn'T fiNd EnOugH aDulTs. We juSt uSe cHilDrEn iNsteAd". 🖕

Ayyyyy Bane is back!

Well he didn't kill the parent so that's something

This is so depressing 😭

"I was following protocol". Everything that comes close to "good soldiers follow orders" makes me really sad

Have we met someone else called Jax? I swear we've heard that name before

The fact that they have 3 specimens but their specimen numbers are much higher than 3 does not make me feel good. What happened to all of the other ones???

"To retrieve it". "It". Literally just an object to Dr Arsehole over here

Trandoshan? Pirate? FUCK YOU CID FOR SPILLING ABOUT PHEE

"Let's just say I'm good at my job" suggests he has picked up a hell of a lot more than 3 kids so where are the others?!

NOT THE LULA DOLL

I feel like this is a good time to note that I still don't like Emerie. Her dedication to Hemlock and her involvement in the Empire up until this point outweigh all of her current actions for me. So no, I still don't like her.

"But what about Nala Se?" I hear you ask. Don't like her either! I respect that she's trying to protect Omega but the number of problems that lanky bitch has caused means that I'm not going to forgive her that easily

People really need to stop leaving the door to their ship open BECAUSE SHIT LIKE THIS HAPPENS

1600??? FOR FUEL?! BITCH THEY TRIED SELLING ECHO FOR 2000

Tbf with fuel prices the way that they are I shouldn't be surprised

NOOOOO NOT PABU 😭

DON'T LEAVE THE GOGGLES THERE

AND LULA TOO?!

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FUCK THAT'S NOT GOOD

Oof that little bit of Omega's theme really hits in the feels 🥲

Eliminate them? How about no

NOT THE MARAUDER

I KNOW IT WAS IN A TEASER CLIP BUT NOOOOOOOOO

You know what I'm suddenly very glad that the goggles and Lula were off the ship

Nah I don't like that Wrecker's down. He never goes down for long

"Search every domicile" Domicile? DOMICILE?! Now where have we heard someone use that term before...

The Kiners are really popping off with this soundtrack 🔥

Crosshair's little "uh huh" 😭

SOMEONE CALL ECHO FFS

How about no to the recapture plan

If CX-2 turns out to be Tech then we only have 4 episodes left to address that entire storyline and I don't know what to do with that information

Errrrrr Hunter's not gonna be happy when he finds out what Crosshair and Omega have been up to

Neither's Wrecker tbf

Or Echo

Anyway... Cross is going to have a fun time explaining that one

Echo's gonna get a fun call as well. "So errr... The Empire took over Pabu, Omega got herself recaptured by choice and the Marauder is in pieces so... can we get a lift please?"

FUCK CROSSHAIR MISSED THE TRACKER

Me after these episodes

Some solid episodes today. I really enjoyed them! Am I still annoyed that Echo is still stuck as someone to be name dropped but not actually put in the episode? Yes. But these were some strong episodes.

I'm still trying to compute how this is all going to get wrapped up in 4 episodes though. That's really not a lot of time. 😭

BINGO UPDATE

Only just clocked that I have "Batcher dies" written on it. When I wrote it I meant one of the Batch members. I didn't know we were gonna get a hound called Batcher 😅