#everything is piling up

[addictt-with-a-pen]

King Park // La Dispute

[glittermutt]

olli come back i miss you so much

[iraprince]

it's time again for the ✨#ADHDCosmicTakeover!✨ my comic this year is about pinballing helplessly between interests and the frustrating feeling of being a "jack of all trades, master of none" (but who said i have to be a "master" of anything anyway? fuck off!)

thank you so much to dreamadoodles for organizing this year! pls check out the tag to see more comics from other contributors 🌠

[brw]

"but hamas is getting funded by extremist islamic hate groups!" do you think the U.S. government and military giving funding for israeli's war efforts against palestinians is a morally neutral and inherently righteous body that had no influence in the politics of southwest asia as a global colonial superpower. do you really think anything you can say about the people resisting oppression can't be said about the oppressors.

[genericpuff]

me: posts about how they feel insecure about having harsh opinions and acting like a dick all the time

also me:

[chirpsythismorning]

Mike's character regression can be explained in large part by one emotion in particular: guilt

Just want to preface this by saying that, this is not Mike slander. I love this dude. In fact, I think what makes Mike such an interesting character is that a lot of his behavior throughout the series can be explained in part by previous moments, and after really looking at all these moments together, what you end up with is a pretty fucked up story.

So while some might want to take this as Mike slander, these points I'm making are a part of Mike and things he has done and said and whether they were intentionally harmful or not, it's Mike. It's all shaped him and his role in the story. The fact that we're seeing a visible shift in his behavior at all, with plenty of moments from the show to back up what brought us here, makes it compelling enough to talk about.

So, without further ado, back to our roots:

Ah yes, the infamous canon proof disputing Mike's I think my life started that day we found you in the woods, claim during his monologue. Not only that, but in this original scene from 1x02, it turns out Mike actually intended to send her away the next day (all of which El could hear Mike saying from the open bathroom door).

Mike outright calling El a weapon, again telling the others they need her because they stand no chance at getting Will back otherwise.

I wont elaborate on this now, because there is way too much to unpack that'll honestly be more worthwhile discussing further on.

For now, this is a secret tool that will help us later.

These next couple scenes right here though, are pretty painful if I'm being completely honest. The way its shot, specifically El's very visible exhaustion, accompanied by the varying priorities of others around her, leaves me feeling pretty unsettled upon rewatches.

I obviously can't remember how I felt when I watched these scenes for the first time, but I imagine I viewed them as this huge romantic moment for Mike and El (I was tricked by heteronormativity, okay?). But, again, upon rewatching them since then, I've realized I get this sort of sad feeling by the end. You'll see what I mean.

El obviously just went through something extremely traumatic. She tried to go find Will and Barb in the void, only to find Barb dead and Will presumably alive, but then slipping through her fingers at the last second (no, literally).

We then got a moment where Joyce held El while the others sat by quietly because she clearly needed a moment of comfort given what she just endured.

Then in this scene shortly after, everyone is leaving to get ready for their final attempt at saving Will.

Now, notice how not only Lucas, but also Dustin make the effort to reach out to El to comfort her affectionately after that traumatic event, with those twos' actions specifically being showcased in sequence?

Lucas, who spent the better part of the season being critical of El, is now ending the season rubbing El's shoulder to warm her up, literally soothing her to make her feel better.

Then there's Dustin, who right after Lucas' gesture makes a gesture of his own, putting his hand on her knee reassuringly, to show her he's there and he's happy she's okay.

And lastly there's Mike, who is so kindly allowing El to rest her head on his shoulder. This placement of Mike and El here is definitely a testament to the fact that Mike has vouched for El this whole time in contrast to the others and so, understandably, she put her head on his shoulder for reassurance, because out of the three of them, he's the one whose been looking out for her the most. (Right?)

Now you might be thinking that this sequence's only purpose was to show Lucas and Dustin's development with El, and that it wasn't intentional that they focused on Lucas and Dustins' priorities in this moment in contrast to Mikes'. And I raise you, this next scene.

Here we have a focus on Mike looking on to where everyone left, while the others beside him are presumably just processing what went down and taking a rest (and boy oh boy do they (El) need one).

Mike on the other-hand decides to take this moment of rest to display the most cliche and universal forms of distracted unrest known to man: he checks his watch.

Mike then stands up abruptly, causing El to fall without his shoulder there for her to rest on anymore, all while her and Dustin are looking on after him, sort of like... Okay?

It's small. It might seem insignificant. But if you actually pay attention to what this scene is trying to make you feel, after really looking at it for what it is, it's kind of sad.

In a moment that chooses to highlight the other boys' acknowledgment of El after what just happened, and not only that, but at the tale end of their final battle of the season, Mike is... distracted?

Mike, who has been presumably looking out for El more than the others in the party this whole time, is conveniently out of commission? And right now when El is looking for his reassurance the most? Mike doesn't even have a moment to say, 'Hey I'll be right back, I just want to check something. Can one of you?--', asking Lucas or Dustin to sit next to her in his place. No. Dude just stands up without even acknowledging her.

If it was any other moment in the show, under less post-traumatic circumstances for El, then I wouldn't even think much of it. But it's at this point in the story when El is essentially at her most exhausted and quite literally seeking out support from others, specifically Mike, that makes his distractedness so eery.

Again, you might still be thinking that this isn't that deep. However, I think based on the events leading up to this, and what follows right here, could quite literally hold the answer to the guilt Mike is still keeping to himself to this day.

So... How are we feeling?

Are we feeling like Mike None of you are thinking about El's wellbeing right now! She could get brain damage from using her powers too much! She's not a weapon!* Wheeler is a little bit of a hypocrite? (I told you that tool would come in handy!)

It's actually quite terrifying how similar this scene is framed to the scene in Hopper's cabin in s3, where Mike pretty much says the exact opposite. In s1 Mike goes from being one of the first people to refer to El as a weapon within the context of them using her powers to find Will, with him being completely un-attuned to the fact that she is exhausted in this moment while the others are saying El's rest and safety is the most important, to then in s3 completely flipping script and saying El was using her powers for nothing, blaming the others for treating her like a weapon and not taking her wellbeing into consideration.

It would be one thing if Mike had a little arc where he acknowledged this script flip. Because that's what it is. It is them having Mike use a word in s1 to describe El, that being weapon, only to say the others are treating her like that with that same word being used. It is them having Mike not agknowledge El's well being after overusing her powers, only to say the others aren't taking her wellbeing into consideration for overusing her powers.

And it would be one thing if Mike had spoke to El or literally anyone about how he felt like he wronged El for planning on sending her away the next day after they found her so that they could go back to looking for Will, or how he said she was a weapon that they needed in order to find Will, essentially being no better than the people she just escaped from, who also used her for her powers. But we don't get that (actually we do.. but it's not acknowledged for what it is aka survivor's guilt. It's instead seen as romantic... another tool for later...)

Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think any of Mike's behavior takes away from what Mike did do for El, because yes he was kind and accepting when the others weren't. But even despite all of that, at the end of the day, he was often at the forefront of expecting El to risk her life for them, even if he wasn't outright asking that of her.

Before you freak out, No. I don't think Mike, a literal child, was capable of fathoming that El was going into these situations risking her life. She's a superhero. El's alternative was literally going back to the lab, running, or staying with Mike. This was her safest option.

After a bunch of rewatches and putting together a lot of these moments as a whole, I've come to a point where I believe that Mike's behavior throughout s1 was him thinking that because of who El was, she's already in danger at all times. That is a constant reality for her. And so why not have her help them find Will, because she is able to, all while he can also help her. And El clearly wanted to help them, because she wanted to help good people and finally do something meaningful with her powers for a change. Unfortunately, she also had to endure PTSD flashbacks almost every single time Mike and the boys had her use her powers to help find Will.

Speaking of Will, he is currently missing and possibly dead. Will also, in contrast to El (for now...), does not have any sort of superpowers.

Mike's concern over the threat of Will's livelihood is much greater than Mike's acknowledgement to the true risks El is exposing herself to each time she uses her powers to help them. That is s1 canon.

Is there times when Mike is focused on El and her well being. Absolutely! But is there also times when Mike is not showing any display of concern to El's well being in the moment, in complete contrast to the other characters around him... Also yes.

And so the events happening the way they did, with Mike himself not fully comprehending the severity of what's been going on during these high stake situations going on around him, makes sense.

And that's what makes it all the more sad that when Mike finally does realize what he's truly been asking of El this whole time, which is to risk her life for them, it's too late.

This whole scene is obviously very emotional. All of the boys are crying, but the focus on Mike calling out for El painfully is heartbreaking.

But what's even more sad to me, is that El has been sort of used to mistreatment her whole life. She's used to having to find any comfort she could get from people in her life, all the while they were using her for her powers. I mean even despite Brenner being who he was and doing what he did, she still showed these signs of wanting to love him despite it. Which is very very fucked up. But knowing what she's gone through, makes sense.

Mike on the other-hand does greatly contrast Brenner because he was one of the first people to actually treat her with genuine kindness right from the start (before he even knew she had powers), making it a lot easier for her to care for him even despite that pesky trait of using her for her powers being almost synonymous with Brenner's very similar trait.

So when she looks back at Mike, and points him out specifically before sacrificing herself, it feels like a few things at once.

It feels like her acknowledging the fact that she appreciated him specifically for taking her in and supporting her more genuinely than anyone has in her entire life.

And yet it also feels like her, either intentionally or unintentionally, acknowledging the unfortunate side affect caused by days of Mike leading the efforts to find Will, with the expectation of her to do things to achieve that, which could have all lead to her demise technically. And so now when it all comes down to it and the stakes are at their highest yet, same as the risk, she's got to a point where she believes there is no other choice but to do just that, risk her life, especially if it means saving them.

While this is happening, Mike is backtracking in real time. He is trying to get El to stop and it's because he doesn't want her to die. Obviously.

But that's the fucked up part isn't it? When he finally realized what he's been asking of her this whole time, it's too late.

Which takes us to S2 Mike Wheeler, known by many for being a boy whose been calling his true love everyday for almost a year now because he's just so in love, but is actually in fact a boy suffering the most intense form of survivors guilt, one that involves a person who genuinely feels responsible for the persons death...

But that will probably take at least another 2,000 words so I'm thinking maybe I better split this into multiple parts.

I will tease that the next part involves one specific detail in particular that I never see anyone talk about, a detail that I think, in combination with what's discussed in this post, is so important to understanding Mike's breakdown for what it truly was at the end of season 2. I will also probably do more posts beyond that for s3-4, to delve into the impacts these moments from the first two seasons have basically put in place a perfect recipe for what is currently going down.

So feel free to stay tuned for those nonsense updates.

Continued

[larabar]

barry's fighting for their life rn

[enden-k]

taru, somewhere in the waters for who knows how long after he broke out from underwater jail, possibly reliving abyss trauma or smth, while fontaine is about to be flooded :

"yea hell be fine"

my bbg falling and scraping the entirety of his ass in a tournament :

[imissthestarswhenicry]

hey..... not done :| what do u guys think of the outfit is it lame or what

[citrlet]

stevie knox

[slavhew]

so I started a new show that im obviously being so normal about

[transparent of the first one under cut]

honestly i had NO idea what i was doing with the bg soooo. transparent it also is

[dailyriolu]

A silly guide on how I draw normal Riolu vs My sona

[the-celestial-bitch]

i think what most people fail to understand is that theres no fucking way that israel intelligence community wouldnt know about the attack that happened. they have spies literally everywhere and theyre frighteningly good at their job, just look at some cases of them stealing data from other countries and you will see. so the most likely scenario in my head is that israeli government decided to let the attack happen, let the people die, bc of the greater good of forcing more oppression onto palestinians and deeming any of the activists as terrorists. now they can say "look its not our fault!!! we're doing this for the security of the country, not just israelis, and our laws and legislations are only to control the terrorism" which is a big fat lie.

people need to understand that when oppression gets too suffocating radical groups are born. this is why there are alt right muslim extremists in europe, bc theyre being actively oppressed. but what they do benefits the government (as in, they can now point at the extremists and claim all muslims/middle easterns are like this). so in the end, theres a high chance that the recent hamas attack will benefit the genocide of the palestinian—a truly ironic tragedy, the acts of which we (the middle easterns) already know from memory.

my heart goes out to all of my palestinian siblings. i hope the nightmarish genocidal machine of israel finally dies, and that you can experience peace in the end 🇵🇸

[loaflovesdoodling]

"Just keep walking straight, we're almost there." Fylass instructed, accompanying Ades through the long corridor.

"Just hope I don't slam my face into something, hahaha." He joked, slightly nervous and confused.

They proceeded to walk for another thirty seconds or so, before the kid finally stopped him:

"Okay, you can take your blindfold off on the count of three. One... Two.... Three!!" They called gleefully. Pleiades untied the cloth, blinked a few times, and soon enough his eyes lit up with shining star bits and his jaw dropped in shock and surprise.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!"

"..H-HOW...."

"Hehehe, Blossom told Dolly and the others! She really wanted them to know, and they decided to organize a super-duper-secret-silly party!! Happy birthday!!!!!"

"Oh, yeah, there's also cake, of course. Come on, pull the ribbon!!" TK cheered, taking a hold of his big brother's hand, dragging him over to the party table, on which lied a flimsy cardboard box. Pleiades did as he was told, and, soon after, the box opened to reveal a beautiful dark chocolate cake.

"Before you ask any more questions; yes, we did find your sneakily hidden 100% cocoa bar in the back of your cupboard. I always knew you were a glutton for bitter stuff, but... wow." Selene called him out mockingly, his face contracted in a humiliated expression.

"I art sorry I hathn't found anything that strong for thee, I hope thee wilt still enjoy this cake in it's sweetness--"

"Are you kidding?! Dero, I didn't even expect anyone to know when my birthday was, let alone a birthday party and cake!!" Ades cut him off, surprised by his words.

"Alrighty, Mister Secret. Only one more thing before you dig in, be patient." Twilight teased him as they handed him a... letter?

He opened it, and started reading out loud:

"We know you may not know how special this day really is, you've probably done this thousands of times. But this is the first time we get to live it together, so let us thank you for everything you've done for us.

Thank you for always showing your support for me, defending me from my father, putting your own safety at risk.

Thank you for playing with Dolly and letting her show you every little thing, making sure she never felt alone anymore.

Thank thou for always offering a shoulder to cry on, and having my back at even the darkest of times.

Thank you for helping me reach the stars, comforting me every step of the way, drawing your sword just to protect me.

Thank you for being my brother, for holding my hand tight as I fought all my fears, never leaving my side, no matter what.

Thank you for being with us. Happy Birthday, Sir Pleiades."

As he finished reading the letter, he took a shaky breath, his hands trembling as he tucked the letter away in his cape, trying to wipe away tears with his paw before they could start dropping down. The others wrapped him in an affectionate embrace, and, as he finally gave in and accepted the hug, he somehow also felt the vague presence of another soul...

"Happy Birthday, Pleiades."

Fylass belongs to @george228732

Dolly belongs to @ilikesillythingswooo

Twilight Knight belongs to @that-fanperson-meg

Dero belongs to @monsterhatdoodles

Selene belongs to @moon-mage

[berrydoodleoo]

should you begin to lose heart, look to me

(rendered in Blender Cycles, click for higher resolution)

[defiledtomb]

oops! honeypeabrain -> defiledtomb