#everythingelse

[weaponizedvirtue]

Harbored Secrets {Peaky Blinders}

Pairing: Thomas Shelby x Reader (gender-fluid former soldier from "The Face I Hide Behind")

Summary: It's been a year since you reconnected with Thomas Shelby in Small Heath. Letters can convey a lot. But personal identity and your own brand of nightmares are easier to convey in person.

Notes: This is for my friend, @everythingelseisextra. He has motivated me and encouraged me to develop this character into who they really are, even beyond my own safe little comfort zone of topics. This one touches on PTSD and discrimination, but also gender fluidity in an era where it was often something no one talked about, acknowledged, or accepted. Marie/Eli kind has steadily shown themself to be bigender and it's an important part of them I wanted to explore.

Tagged: @everythingelseisextra, @ce1iat, @morrigan-crowmwell, @running-outof-time, @straight-outta-kirkwall

No one was supposed to have been down here. William had said it was clear and you, Tom, and Danny had shuffled down into the muck behind him. It was supposed to have been easy- “bury the mines and scramble.”

But sometime between Will’s report and your team slipping inside, the situation had changed. Two Germans had found their way inside and waited, cloaked in shadow, until everyone’s back was turned. They’d made quick work of Danny, like silent dogs leaping for their prey and digging their sharp teeth in before any of you had noticed you weren’t alone.

You’d been distracted with your notes, unfolding them and quietly reminding Tom of where each device should go when he stood suddenly, drawing his gun. He’d always been an impeccable shot and even in the dim light of the tunnels, one of the Germans went down with little more than a gasp, a bullet buried in his chest.

But the second one was quicker. He emerged from Thomas’s left like a bat, all fangs and claws and blind speed and before your friend could counter, he dragged his blade across the man’s throat.

Tom stumbled, fell to his knees, and a shout tore out of your mouth, grieving and guttural. There was a scuffle, Will shouting to you about getting out as his weapon met with the German’s. The screech of metal on metal was shrill, an alarm that insisted you move, but you couldn’t leave without Tom. 

You reached down fast, your hands desperately trying to stem the blood seeping from the deep slash across his throat. He gaped up at you with wide, unseeing eyes, and his hands closed around your own.

“Carter.”

Your name wheezed out of his lungs. It was insistent but muffled, as if someone had stuffed your ears with cotton, then given you an order. But it was your name. It was your name, here below the trenches, on the lips of your dying comrade as if your moniker was important enough to be a last word.

"Stay with me. Come on, Tom."

Your voice came out ragged and pleading and your body rocked forward as you tried to pull him to his feet. He didn't respond, his body sagging into yours as you stood.

“Dein Freund wird es nicht schaffen.” The soldier from before wagged one finger at you from a few feet away. Behind him, Will lay motionless in the mud. “Carter, ja?”

The soldier pointed at you, his eyes glittering in the dark. Blood dripped from his knife, mixing thickly with the mud that caked your boots.

He advanced forward suddenly, dropping his weapon to the ground. He yanked Tom away from you, then clapped both hands around the base of your throat and squeezed. You struggled against him, your fingers locking around his wrists, trying desperately to pry yourself loose.

"Carter." His eyes were wild, nothing but fire and hate. Your name spilled from the soldier’s lips like a mantra, breathless and desperate, a plea even as he cut off the last of your air.

You didn't know him. You couldn't remember his face or his hands or how this stranger could possibly have grabbed hold of your name. 

You just knew his grip was tightening. Then with a resounding snap, your windpipe buckled underneath the pressure of his knuckles. The makeshift cavern you and the rest of the Company had dug for yourself collapsed into darkness around you, burying you and your fallen comrades as if you never existed in the first place.

*

“Carter!”

Your eyes snapped open and air rushed into your lungs so quickly it was painful. Feeling rushed back into your fingers and your hands automatically latched onto the ones pressing up against your chin. There was too much light, too much air, building in your ears and your lungs until all you could hear was a roar.

You moved. Like a wound spring, you rocketed upwards and pressed your knee hard into your assailant’s gut. He grunted, twisting underneath you, and it took a moment for the haze in your eyes to clear. It came to you slowly, where you were, that it was a pillow underneath your palms, not dirt, that you were in your smalls, not your uniform.

And that it was Tom, clean and alive and whole, lying beneath you, not some intruder lurking in the dim light of the lanterns.

“Carter?”

You blinked, trying to separate what you were seeing from what you saw. The moments didn’t match- one where Thomas Shelby breathed, startled but watching you with patient, cutting eyes. And then the other, where the same man slumped to the ground, his gaze blank and lifeless.

“You’re alive. Jesus, you're alive."

Your head dropped to his chest and your whole body sagged against him, spent tension racing from your muscles far too quickly. The sudden shift left your body aching and a tremble quaked through your limbs.

You flattened your fingers against Thomas's stomach- he was here, he was alive, not a bloodied corpse forgotten underground. You grabbed at his hands, counting each digit, positive that they would dissolve into memory if you didn’t hold on hard enough.

Turning your head slowly, you pressed your ear against Thomas’s chest. You just needed to hear it. Just one strong heartbeat.

It was there, loud and racing just like yours, and a mournful quiver escaped your throat before you could stop it. Your breath shifted brokenly inside your lungs, thin and reedy and not enough. The part of you that was logical, that worked on stratagems and common sense, snapped from somewhere deep inside your head.

Look at him, for god’s sake, you’re not some infant. It was just another dream. Who the hell can’t tell the difference?

But your body disagreed. Your limbs remained locked where they’d fallen. You were afraid of moving, as if the moment you did so, Thomas’s existence would be a toss of the coin and not a certainty. With your nose planted against his sternum, there was still someone to hold onto.

Slowly, strong hands slipped down just below your elbows. Fingers gently circled your upper arms, tugging you upwards. Your body followed rigidly and Tom tucked you up against him before you could protest. His arms wound around your back, his hands rubbing circles in the taut muscles around your spine, and his chin came to rest against your left shoulder.

"I'm right here, Carter."

A hand wandered into your hair and Tom's fingers dragged slowly through the few curls you’d kept. You focused on the touch, on the soft sheets under your knees, and Tom's breathing, steady and even. Slowly, as visions of the tunnel and the bloodied, still figures of your friends faded, your own heartbeat matched its pace.

"Why didn't you tell me you had nightmares?"

You swallowed, shame mixing thickly in the pit of your stomach. You'd kept that bit of information to yourself on purpose, determined to keep quiet when you knew Thomas had endured just as much and more than you.

"You should have told me."

There was frustration in his voice and sympathy just below that, both feelings you were unsure how to face. Somewhere along the way, Tom had become the one person you wanted to impress. Somewhere along the way, you'd wanted him to think you were infallible. Admitting that you dreamed of your time in the tunnels, of moments you'd faced and moments you could have faced, hardly looked like strength to you. Admitting you still heard the picks and shovels of the Germans inching closer and that you fidgeted in cramped spaces hardly seemed like bravery.

But Tom deserved an explanation, now that it was out in the open.

“I'm supposed to be stronger than this. I said I could handle being a soldier. They send me home and I can't even handle the echoes?”

There was a huff of air at your neck and Thomas pulled back sharply. His movement was so sudden you missed him, your body suddenly cold at his sudden withdrawal. Something flickered in his eyes as you studied his face, closer to fury than you could remember from the man. It felt for a moment like a dismissal and as grief and shame stirred angrily through your belly, you forced yourself off the bed and onto your feet.

But Thomas’s fingers caught around your wrist, a silent command to stay put. You froze in place, your eyes darting back towards the man. Satisfied, Thomas sighed. He considered you for several seconds, then he reached down to pull his shirt over his head.

It wasn’t what you expected, but Tom’s plans rarely were and there was a look in your friend’s eyes that demanded you wait and listen. Tom dealt in timing like you dealt in numbers.

So instead, your eyes traveled down his body in earnest, mapping out the myriad of scars painted and scratched and stamped into his skin. Some you remembered, could divulge the story yourself; others were newer, fresh splits of skin and bone that didn’t match what you knew of Thomas Shelby’s timeline.

“Bullet from the Somme.” Tom tapped his left side where your eyes had come to rest and at first, the information seemed like a surprisingly open confession from Thomas. But without pausing for your answer, Thomas continued, walking his fingers down each scar.

“Barbed wire in Amiens. Blast in the trenches- you pulled me out, remember?” You did, but his fingers moved again before you could reply. 

He walked you down each limb, detailing a scar now and then, avoiding others that you still wished to rub out with your own hands. The scars were Thomas’s story, told in violent brands and permanent tears on his skin because words were never enough to describe battle. It was a strange, devoted kind of exposure, one you could appreciate fully coming from Tom. But it was unlike your friend to offer up information without asking something in return.

The cost presented itself quickly enough.

“So.”

Thomas lifted his head from the last scar on his thigh and nodded towards you.

“Show me yours.”

The request was a fair one and you imagined there was a point to it that Tom was aiming for, but your body went cold nonetheless.

You showed very few people what sat beneath your clothes. It was hardly different from what they'd seen before, just a set of ribs and a set of breasts and a torso of scars stitching them together, but it had never felt like the truth, showing them skin that hardly felt like yours, bearing your body to them when it hardly felt like your own.

You hesitated, feeling compelled to explain, desperate for someone to listen, even more desperate for Tom to understand. The words came out slow and thick as molasses, your voice quiet, and you looked down at yourself, picking at your nightshirt.

"What people see and who I am don't always match, Tom."

Even without looking at him, you knew he was thinking. There was the softest exhale and a purposeful silence, then the rustling of sheets as he shifted slightly closer to you.

With an unexpected burst of courage, you dragged your eyes up again and sure enough, he was waiting, studying you with a softer expression than before. He pressed his tongue to the top of his mouth for a moment, carefully piecing his words together before exposing them to the air.

"Whether I see Marie or Carter doesn't matter, love. I don't need a name or a body to tell me who you are."

The room tilted for just a moment, as if knocked off kilter by his words. Tears rushed to your eyes unbidden and you pressed your hands fast against them, unprepared for the onslaught. 

It wasn't something you'd heard before, the quiet acceptance that whether you were a man or a woman in the day, the hour, the moment, your decision was valid and wouldn't require the consequences of judgment.

For all of Danny's kindness, he still looked at you differently now as Marie than he ever had when you were Carter. He still walked as if on eggshells when you were around, and had adopted a kind of rapport around you like you were his little sister, not his comrade in arms.

You'd seen Freddie Thorne once, on your way out of Tommy's that first time, and he'd regarded you like a math problem, all furrowed brows and frustration. He'd plucked the cigarette from his mouth and circled you like a great cat. In the end, he seemed to have settled on the idea that you weren't a threat, waved you off with a half-friendly, "Enjoy Birmingham."

But he looked at you not as someone he'd trudged through hell with, who he'd ribbed on occasional moments in camp, but as a stranger prone to lies and deception, as if your female identity was an exercise in smoke and mirrors.

Additionally, your family had hitched their wagon to the opinion that you were confused, that the moments you took joy in manners and family you were a different person from the person interested in gadgets and physical labor. They'd come to believe your insistence that you could be both was an affront to how they'd raised you, as if it was your self-control that prevented you from being a proper lady.

And when they'd gotten tired of waiting for you to become what you were expected to be, realized you wouldn't act out the part that the world demanded of you, you'd simply become too much to keep around.

Thomas alone had seen the individual parts of you and believed them to make up a whole. He alone had believed it was more than a formula to a trick or a tantrum.

You swallowed, grateful that Tom had stayed put on the bed and allowed you a moment to work through the meaning of his words. There was a sort of unspent energy to him as he watched you, a tamed impatience as he leaned back and waited.

You took a slow breath, then with shaking hands, undid each button on your shirt. After pausing one last time, your eyes met Tom's expectant ones and you pulled the shirt from your shoulders.

You didn't have as many scars as him. Not even the same type- your binder had worn deep trenches in your skin where it had hugged your breasts or ribs too tight. There were uneven ripples across your abdomen where bones had broken in protest, whether it be from the cramped position you'd crawled through the tunnels or the sustained pressure trapping your chest cavity. There were small, jagged scars from rogue shrapnel dotting your collarbone, wounds you'd had to stitch up yourself for fear of the medics discovering your secret. A long scratch marred your left side from a scuffle with one of the other soldiers, a lasting reminder that not everyone was interested in playing nice.

"Mostly from the tunnels." You lifted your chin, watching as Tom leaned forward, his eyes wandering along each scar as if he was recording them for later consideration.

"And your head."

“What?”

Thomas tapped the back of his head and your right hand fumbled inside of your hair, brushing the rough patch of skin where they’d sewn twenty stitches years before. The memory flitted back quickly, though it was vague, snatches of haze and mud, shouts for a medic, and Tom’s face above you as you were pulled into open air. You’d have shrugged him off if you could have remembered how to move your limbs, saved yourself another couple of battles before getting sent home.

"From the beam. You still get those headaches?"

It had been just a passing bit of information in one of your letters to him, must have been at least six months ago, and you weren’t sure if you were flattered he remembered or embarrassed you told him in the first place.

“Yeah.”

Thomas nodded and his face smoothed over before you could gather what he meant by asking. Instead, he reached for his lighter on the dresser beside you both. A cigarette practically appeared in his hand and he lowered it to the flame with a kind of purpose you thought inordinate for simply lighting a smoke.

With a hard puff of air, Thomas exhaled and you and he both turned your eyes to the fog rising up towards the ceiling.

“I have ‘em too. The nightmares.”

The words didn’t connect immediately. Fitting Thomas’s name into the same sentence as fear didn’t seem logical. You hardly expected him to live without it, but when a man could motivate an entire crowd of scared men onto a bloody battlefield, it seemed stupid to consider him anything but solid.

“You never said anything.”

“It’s a habit we share, eh?”

There was no room for accusations when you’d been just as at fault. You smiled wryly, slowly lowering yourself back down onto the bed beside Thomas. The man’s hand shrugged towards you with ease and after a moment, you picked the cigarette from between his fingers.

You rarely smoked, could hardly afford it with your lifestyle and didn’t care much for the taste. But you wouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth and it felt enough like camaraderie that you couldn’t help but accept the stick.

As you drew smoke into your lungs and exhaled, a tingle ran up your spine. Your shoulders sagged and you closed your eyes for a moment, imagining the sharp edges of you softening and the claws of your nightmare temporarily withdrawing.

“So if I fought for mine,” Thomas continued unbidden and he bumped his arm gently against yours. “And you fought for yours-” The cigarette disappeared from your hand and reappeared between his teeth.

“I believe soldiers face the consequences together, Carter."

His gaze shifted back to you and you studied his face carefully. You knew what it looked like when someone was lying by now, knew when someone was just trying to soften the blow. Thomas was doing neither.

You leaned back slowly against the headboard of the bed, your thoughts racing too quickly to allow you the prospect of sleep just yet.

Fingers danced carefully across the back of your head, just along the edges of your scar. You turned your head to find Thomas intently watching you, his eyes blazing a colder blue than you remembered.

"Call me next time. Do us both some good."

[fandomchaosposts]

alèssi save me

save me alèssi

save me

[ihaveastorminme]

I heard "good luck babe" once.... and i cannot stop listening to it now

[everything4free]

Using tumblr is weird for me i am still trying to learn hiw to use it in a way that is actually enjoyable 4 Me... Be patient🤞🏻

[cryptidm0ths]

50 himerus not in chronological order tbc

[ordinarytalk]

What I should be doing:

Packing to visit my family tomorrow

Eating something

Wrapping presents

Cleaning like 1/30th of the horrorshow mess that I'm living in

Running the clippers through the back of my head so I don't have a shaggy semi-mullet when I see Mom tomorrow

T H E D I S H E S

What I am doing:

Suddenly being taken with the overwhelming compulsion to drive an hour to IKEA and buying a kitchen cart and driving an hour back and assembling the kitchen cart and then rearranging my entire kitchen so I have a place to put the kitchen cart.

The kitchen cart is too small, btw. This did not solve my storage space problems.

[blueb3rryteapot]

train rides are just so perfect for the romanticization of life

[hi-haveagoodday]

finally finally listened to now and then. dont watch the music video if you value your life.

[sirompp]

ok well that was the best birthday party ever

[sparklyeyedhimbo]

To honor that we are getting puentalay as dads in the next our skyy 2 episode.

Many of you guys not knowing what is going on in this series and getting confused with the whole different universes and body swapping thing.

✨I am here yet again to try to explain and spoil the series a bit.✨

get yourself something to snack on, a drink and make yourself cozy because here i go again.

btw read my last kali tries to explain my gear your gown here 😜

first of all a few trigger warnings: major charcater death (the accidents they had), minor character death, singing

...this time i spare myself the trouble going to IMBD to find the summary. And i go to the source with a slight editing from MDL

Sounds pretty darn cool and easy plot to follow right? right? It kinda is. Two dudes have an accident and find themself in a new body and have to work together to get back to their universe. While also keeping the bodies they switched save and not feck up their lives.

I think the most confusing part of this series, ist the bodyswaps and all the characters. Which is much in the first few episodes, and p' nut did an good job trying to via visuals cutbetweens the characters in the same scene.

Lets go over the mainroles and some of the many guestroles we were being feed in this series.

like this list also goes on and on

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Lets start with the two characters that we are going to follow through this series.

We first meet talay while he is on a job interview for BFB the firm he really wants to work as a colorist for. While he still is in this universe he meets puen twice one time when he waits with his friend gyo on the airport and the other time is when he helps out his other friend joe on a movie set (he plays a corpse).

After his accident while going swimming while drunk he travels universes and wakes up in a hospital in tess's body.

Now we have puen, we first meet him on said airport where is getting of the plane. We gonna see the most cutest but also awkwardest meet-cute to ever meet-cute in a airport bathroom. (Don't look at me like that YOU WILL SEE if you watch IT okay?) He is a famous series actor, that still helps out on smaller movies. thats where he meets talay for the second time and gives him some little acting tips.

After his accident while driving drunk (are we seeing a pattern here?) he wakes up in tun/parkorns body while parkon was on a trip with his two best buddies and scriptwriting team.

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Now let me show you the other two characters, puen and talay swap places with in the other universe

This is tess, we don't really get to know know tess maybe in the last episodes and from what talay hears from tess's friends and family.

The things we know is that he is a spoiled rich kid, that loves to go drink with his two best friends kita and fuse (also two spoiled rich kidz) and has a very colorful wardrobe.

This is parkorn, a screenwriter that works a million jobs to keep himself afloat. Because he and his two best friends aou and up are trying to write a script together, so they can show the the firm 26 pictures tess's dad owns, that they can write a good one. Had/has a crush on tess (don't look at me we all know love makes blind)

These two are his best buddies. Up is the one that is good with writing comedy and aou is the one that is good at writing everythingelse

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And let us not forget the guest stars in oder of appearance in the show (usually, between one or more per episode. But there are some without any)

and the ones that appeared in more then 3 episodes

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Oh we also have a color for each episode it was a wild ride everywekk which color would be the next one. There were so many post trying fo figure it out but now since it's ou and everyting we know them all.

and they delivered with the colors, and put talay in all of these, it was *chefskiss*

And don't let me forget about the fucktons of sponsors this show had. At the time this aired together with the eclipse and to keep the eclipse as free without silly add scenes as possible. Took vice versa the the most of them and BOY where they wonderful, cheesy, cringey but good.

It has a reason i am tagging vice versa post always with lays vice versa.

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...this time i'm really going to try to keep the plot short and easy to understand

the series starts with talay in a job interview with BFB where he talks about colors and what color he would associate with the interviewers (he associate one of them with brown like horse shit and well it works he gets the job but still hahah)

talay is kinda bumbed out because of that when he haning out with his friends. Gyo, one of his friends asked talay if he made the gift she needs the next day for her favorite series star.

the next day gyo and talay are at the airport and wait on a gate for said star to arrive. But they are at the wrong gate and have to hurry over to the right one.

We get the most cutest yet also very awkward meet-cute to ever meet-cute. The first meeting of puen and talay and the lama/alpaca bucket hat. (Pls everybody wash your hands after you go to the toilet don't be like talay it only works because puen was struck already)

after this gyo tells talay that joe his other friend needs and extra for his movie, and because he still is waiting for an answer from his job interview, he says yes.

at the movie set, he has to play a corpse "..just be a corpse and lie down" this is also the place where talay meets puen for the SECOND time.

while filming his scenes (and fucking up many times that puen had to give him some tips) with puen talay gets a call from the firm he had a job interview with. AND THEY HIRED HIM 🥳

Cut to talay sitting at a bar with his pc and working on projects he needs to finish before he goes to work, while also getting very drunk

his friends pull him away from his work and drag him to the beach and the sea.

talay swims out a bit to far out and he gets a cramp in his legs and has his accident (i just love how there the screen flips upside down and you are like OKAY its happening)

talay wakes up in a hospital bed and gets greeted by tess's parents the mom is worried and the dad is scolding talay about being very reckless.(oh yeah thats what tess also is very reckless and stupid)

Our dear beloved talay is very confused about all of this and tells these people that he has no idea who they are. Tess's father is not having any of this. The mom cuts in and makes talay fake cry so the father stop scolding him. (it works and is very hilarious)

after this he goes to the bathroom and sees that he no longer is in his body, and that the face that is looking back at him, is no longer his own but a guy named tess. (the cut between talays and tess is soo *chefskiss*)

the first thing he does after he realizes that, is that he tries to run away from the hospital, which he fails.

We meet kita and fuse for the first time, the bring "tess" some alcohol and tell him to drop the amnesia act. We get some info about the three of them, they are all no golden sons and that they "don't finish university soon" "because they would have to take over the family businesses, damn boring"

talay asked why there is no google and why he can't find the firm he is he as talay was hired for. Fuse tells him that there is only qooqle and that the only movie company that there is, is 26 pictures that tess's dad owns.

we meet a nurse that knows what happend to talay, because they whent through the same thing. This nurse was a male nurse in their universe and their name is dol. Dol promises talay to bring him to a place were he will get answers to all of his questions.

2 weeks later talay gets picked up by dol and they drive to the place dol was talking about. They encounter two men in a car that have a sign on their car that says "JUST MARRIED"(AkkTheo are married now) forcebooks guest-apperance.

They talk about what changed and what is still the same in their universe.

They enter a building where the association of thai citizens in the alternate world is located. You can only enter the association when you know the password. The password is some kind of line from a bl drama (the girlies love 2gether and are sarawat stans and most of them are from him)

We meet joob the head of the associaction, she will explain to talay how to get back to their universe

find the person that matches you (your portkey) >> do the thing you need to do here >> dream >> go to that place >> get back to you universe

talay tries to find his match/portkey with zero success (he tried once standing in some kind of cafe with a shirt that said IF YOU KNOW ME SAY HI)

talay decides to look for his match in tess's surroundings, he finds a yearbook with a few pictures in it. One picture catches his attention, it's tess with another boy named pakorn, he reads the name of the person and tries to call him on the spot (talay you can't just call people you might not be that close to anymore)

fuse and kita beg talay to go out drinking, the bring him back to the club where tess got beaten up. Talay gets more infomation on what happend to tess that night, that someone nice called an ambulance for him.

talay wants to know who it was and kita and fuse try to bribe the barworker to let them look over the security cameras.

It was pakorn that called the ambulance for tess, talay is getting surer that pakorn is going to be the person thats going to be his match.

talay meets up with a friend from tess's highschool that knows pakorn. This friend looks like talays friend joe from his universe but his name here is parmote.

parmote explains to talay why he calls pakorn tun and after talays asks him where he could find pakorn/tun and parmote gives him a stack of business cards. And that today he is playing at a friends bar

talay heads over to said bar and learns three things:

counting starts at the thumb with one, if you hold up your pointer finger it means two.

that pakorn can't sing.

and beer is more expensive as wine.

talay tries to talk to pakorn, but he keeps running away from him, sad and exhausted he goes back home, where tess's big brother is waiting for him. The brother begs him to just atleast show up for work at the filmmaking company. Talay jumps at this opportunity.

because he meets pakorn here again, who is trying to sell a script he is writing with his friends. They argue and pakorn leaves again

..off to episode 2 (yeah all this was episode one..but you need this i think)

talay is really bummed that pakorn is still avoiding him and tries to get help from the dol and joob. Dol tells him that it it's like when you are hitting on someone, that you need to keep pushing

thats what talays does, he shows up anywhere pakorn is and tries to talk to him. At one of these events he meets parmote again and he tells talay that tess once hit on and dated someone pakorn liked and that this maybe the reason is why he avoids him.

talay still tries to figure out if pakorn also is a universe travler but he is walking against a wall.

he follows pakorn to a bar were he meets up with up and aou and is about to tell them that he didn't sell their script. Talay jumps in and tells up and aou that pakorrn is wrong and that he did sell the script to the firm.

we learn how the three of them became a script writing team, all three went there separately and got told off from tess's dads firm because their scripts were lacking things. The meet there and decided to show them that they can write a good script together.

talay talks to dol that he is very sure parkorn is the one that matches him and also is a universe traveler. Dol reminds him that he has to test if parkorn is one of them and if not that talay has to move on.

but pakorn and his friends go on a month long trip to finish the script. The left their phones with the their barowner friend.

there are a few timeskips in here the story continues after this month, we see talay with tess's friends kita and fuse in a club, they tease him because he acts as if he got dumped.

talay meets the girl that he "stole from" pakorn, turns out he got dumped by her because she found out that pakorn liked tess and not her.

talay goes back to the bar and he tries to drink his sorrow away, the barowner tires to cheer him up that he could request a song. And he writes a whole ass letter on that little piece of paper on how he lost all hope of getting back.

as he gives the letter back to the owner, up and aou enter the bar with pakorn in in tow. But it is no longer the pakorn we meet because it's puen now.

puen plays a the song miracle, that talay and him only recognize because it's from their universe.

we learn that pakorn had a car crash and thats how puen entered the universe. (trust me when i saw this for the first time i was HUUh)

puen and talay get to talk and both are very relived when they find out that they are both universe travelers. Talay promises puen to tell him all about this univerese and how to get back later.

talay asked puen what hes done for a living in the other universe, puen tells him that he was an actor but that he is not telling him his real name and that he should call him tun. And when referring to the body he is they should say pakorn so they won't get confused. (again when you watch it the first time your head goes why what okay? ?)

puen asked talay, if he ever runs into problemswhere he should go and talay (yeah he drunk) tells him that he can come to him. (at this point puen is already GONE, SIGNED SET DELIVERED HE IS TALAYS)

the next morning talay wakes up and finds an half nacked puen in his bed (don't worry nothing happend yet the only thing that happend was a whittle kith) he is only half naked because the room is to hot

talay was so drunk the last night, that he even tried to kiss puen and hoped thats how they could go back to their universe (puen.exe reall stopped working there)

they eat breakfast and have a little conversation, where talay still tries to get puen to tell him his name. But he fails miserably

we get this legendary scene the "to be my wife, you mus endure"

and also we get the "You know what the first thing i going to say to you in our universe? Dang!"

they go to the association and fill out a little form to find they match faster. Talay is not happy about that because he thought what when i finds Tun he is done and done. Because he believes puen is his portkey.

They fill out the form and puen jokes around with his answers to cheer up talay a bit. After that they part ways for a bit to live their "new" lifes.

Talay gets a call from dol, telling him the matching is done and gives him a location where he should go. Puen also shows up ath the same location as he (trust me we all went omg yeeeeeeeeeees they haaaave to beeeeeeeee its faaaate seeeeeee)

We get the first romantic ad scene sponsored by the sugarfree icetea brand.

because both of them thought their are their matches they run away from the meeting point and their real matches can't find them (enter milk and loves guest apperance)

both puen and talay are not feeling it with their "matches" and ask dol for another test if they are the right one. They find a little maze. Dol tells they all have to go through the maze at the same time. And if you and your match find eachother at the same exit. They are your match/portkey.

milks and loves characters find eachother and the same exit. And so do Puen and Talay (the whole time when they are all in the maze you go like pls pls pls)

we find out that milks (som) and loves (pear) character clicked and are eachothers match.

the two boys agree go scouting for locations for the maincharacter to hang out. We get the famous talay draws puens face scene. (that up later uses as their logo for their team)

they meet up with aou and up to discuss the ending of the movie they are writing, they decide on an open ending. Puen has to write the synopsis and the tagline for the movie, but he has no clue how to do that. Talay offers him help but puen declines, he can figure it out

5 days later and they have to present the script to tess's dad, but puen is missing and he has all the files. The boys try to reach him but no one can. Right before the meeting is chancled someone calls up, it's the police station udn guess who is there? A very drunk puen.

aou, up and puen have an argument about the promise they made with eachother when 26 picture first dind't buy their scripts.

talay asked puen what wrong with him and puen just answers, "i'm living my life the best that i can, as you suggested!" So he did what he never could do when he was an actor. Talay interrupts puen to correct his scentens " that he should live the best life of the body owner. Not spoiling himself."

Puen tries to apologize to his friends but he gets no reaction from them. He finds some notes that tells him more about the promise they made.

after a talk with talay, puen tries one more time to apologize to aou and up via a window. AND IT WORKS (i am still asking WH IS GONNA CLEAN THAT UP Heeee?)

talay and puen go on another scouting "date", where they follow a couple on their date, where puen and talay are trying to figure out if these two are for real are on a date. (these two totally are on a date.. i mean both couples were) We also get a little KFC ad scene.

they finish off their presentation at tess's condo and we get a another ad scene this time it's our favorite queen niveau acne care and it's in a bathtub. We get the cute " ..this can be used to wipe away dust, i should use it on your heart" line

they boys get to the new meeting for the script at 26 pictures, and they sell the script to tess's dad.

the next time we see the boys all together again is when they meet up at a restaurant. And they try to figure out a name for their team. They all come to an agreement to call their team "FRIEND CREDIT" up even rented a "studio" for them (it's uptop of the very restaurant they were just eating at)

another timeskip it's 2 weeks later now, they boys are looking over the script and try to figure out something that the mainlead says to his love interest. Puen as the true sarawat stan he is quotes " you don't have to like me very much, just keep your heart open" line and everyone except talay are thrilled with this and they wanna use it in their film (well..puen is right, 2gether does not excist in this univerese..so there is no copyright stuff going on there)

we get a puen tries to make talay blush scene, but in the end talay makes puen blush

while driving talay home after a suprise test he had to take, the two of them find the perfect location for their film ending scene and also for their own love story.

they talk and joke for a bit, and then puen lets out the "..maybe the key to finding your portkey is love?" and "if you have to fall in love to get back" and "what if it's me" and "HOW ABOUT WE FALL IN LOVE WITH EACHOTHER???" (boy is already lost god save him)

Up and aou show up at the the location and up presents them their new folders with the drawing talay did of puen.

after that puen meets kita and fuse for the first time, fuse tries to bribe him for an acting job and kita and fuse try to make puen drunk, but talay is taking all of the drink for him and is in the end the one being drunk.

they end up at pakorns/puens flat, and its time for talay to tease puen for some mangas and a pair of pink shorts.

we get a cute little chocopie ad scene

puen has to be a photographer at a wedding of friends from pakorn. He invites talay along with him, when it's time to catch the flowers it's puen that catches them.

puen admits to the mc that he is infact hitting on someone, but that this person plays very hard to get while looking with the biggest hearteyes at talay.

puens hitting on talays era beings,but he always says after doing anything IT IS FOR THE SCRIPT which makes talay sad and confused. They have a huge argument and puen runs away and hides

talay after a talk with dol finds puen at ther special location we get another kiss

FRIEND CREDIT finally start filming their first movie

puen meets an actor friend from their universe named pang (played by namtam) at the association. For a few episodes talay thinks that pang is puens portkey.

They promise eachother if any of them find their portkey they would still go back together. (we get the cute puen runs away like a little girl scene)

at the set of their film puen and talay see snow in thailand for the first time.

The film the boys wrote premieres and everyone is full of hope and excitement, just to get just negative comments and critics. (gun appears as third here but he is the only nice one everyone is missing khai)

the group is devastated after this and they disband for a while.

puen has a very livid daydream of him and talay living together (because he can't keep the flat he eh pakorn lives in)

talay visits puen at pakorns parents home (we see puen with an shavingcream beard it's hilarious) to play him some music and to tell him that he misses him (we get the "do you have any idea how long 12,960 minutes i wated for you felt like?" these boys and their times i am still yelling)

aou and up also sho up at pakorns home and they decide to try it one more time as a screenwriting team. (because they disbanded up sold the old studio they had, but to our boys LUCK there is an old RV in pakrons parents garden, that they just fix up and use as a studio then. Very convenient)

talay starts to fall for puen

joob and dol ask talay and puen if they could film a guide video for the accsociation. After a cute kfc scene we get informed that joob passed away, because the other person in their universe died.

the boys meet at the new studio to discuss, what the new script should be about. Talay invited peng along to help them (And also because talay decided that puen should go back faster so he invited peng along so puen and her get to know eachother better and that puen can dream. Which is so hecking stupid but it's talay and he only wants puen to be happy and not to die)

they are going with a romantic NOT comedy (seriously i really would want to watch that movie okay?)

talay drops the "if we were eachothers portkeys we would be already back by now" (..yeah but you both haven't done the falling in love thing yet so you are very wrong boy)

talay is feeling really down when puen ditches him to do other things.

he visits puen again and we get the infamous carbo-narak scene ( i tell you tinn from msp watched this and made this his whole thing i bet he has a puen picture somewhere where he is like " we are really in it huh puen-poster?")

FRIEND CREDIT presents tess's father the new script and he is very happy. To celebrate this they boys go on a little trip

each of the writes down three wishes to hang it on the tree they want to achieve.

we get an amlost kiss between talay and puen, but it gets ruined by puen by asking if he can kiss him. (i am still to this day confused by this)

after a night of sulking talay visits puen again and tells him that he is going to withdraw from FRIEND CREDIT (this hecking felt like a brutal break up EVEN THO THEY WEREN YET TOGETHER)

talay gives tess's dad finished scrip of the movie, only to get told that there is not enough money to make the movie.

he find out that puen and peng are not eachothers portkeys

talay goes looking for puen and finds him infront of 26 studios yelling at the security guard. They hug and make up (the security guard behind the door must be like ohhhh 👀 🏳‍🌈!!)

they boys need to figure out on how to make money for their new movie, talay tries selling tess's clothes on an headbook live (because i doesn't want aou,up or puen to sell things) kita and fuse are worried about talay because of this live. They say the are going to invest in their movie, if they can act in it ofc.

fuse tries to bribe aou to rewrite the role fuse is playing, but aou is not having it. (fuseaou my beloved)

they find a new director, when they meet him it turns out it is an old highschool.."friend" named mek (played by perth) of tess and pakorn. But said director is not on good terms with tess

mek tries to ruin the movie the boys tries to film out of revenge (just because tess ditched one role in a movie)

talay confesses to puen that mek looks like someone he liked in highschool. But puen is like i don't fear that he will take you away from him (talay and mhok almost held hands okay?? haha but also there will be jealousy)

Mek is making talays job as a producer really hard, makes him get an specific cameraman, tells him that they should edit the script again etc BUT he makes it work somehow. What makes mork real happy

fuse tries to get talay fo force aou to rewrite his character dr wayu (HA enchante called the soccer boy now is a doctor), but talay explains to fuse why that is not happening, because aou but alot of work into it.

while figuring out which cat to cast for the main lady, the encounter a delivery guy that totally looks like tay tawan and cast him for a role their movie.

mek confesses to puen that he secretly liked tess in highschool, and that "these feelings are coming back" (sad jealousy era puen)

mek wants to scout an art gallery with tess alone for a certain scenes of the movie. Puen also shows up to this scouting and soon feels like the third wheel. he goes moping in a dark galleryroom but gets found by tess all is good we get their BIG DAMN KISS AND LOVE YOUS IN THE END (hey boyfiends now)

mek sees them kiss and confesses that he already knew that pakorn aka puen had feelings for tess, but that he is suprised that tess aka talay also feels the same

they go out with aou and up to watch a movie and after that we get the pillow scene

fuse asked aou if could take him to the vet clinic so he can study his role better. Richboy works for a day shannanigans happen (mix plays the vet in question)

they celebrate pakorns birthday

talay and puen talk about going back to their universe, but puen let it slip that he wants to stay in this universe as long as he can (sad backstory time...but we won't get it from puen but peng is gonna tell talay)

they get in a fight about it, them being angry at eachother is also making aou and up tense and makes them also fight. (but don't worry they all make up in the end)

time for puens sad backstory time

time for fuse and aou to have a fight and a hurt animal bring them back together to work together to save the dogs live. (and yes the removing of a shirt was necessary)

talay is searching for puen to apologize and make up with him, but he can't find him. Up tells him were to find him.

puen is hiding on a island surrounded by water, talay is having a slight panic attack while putting his feet in the water because of the accident that got him here. but puen finds him and helps him to said island and they make up there.

back at their studio they celebrate their first anniversary of FRIEND CREDIT they give eachothers gift. Talay gifts them all buckethats..and well puen now realizes who his talay is (but talay still is in the dark on who he is loving, great riiight?)

time for some adopting a pet together with fuse and aou (they call the dog lucky and it's soo cuteee) and we get this gem of a scene

their second movie premieres and this time the critics and the fans love the movie (puen and talay read them whil being snugled up in a bathtub like WHAT?)

talays world gets more and more pinker each day (as we know he HATES pink)

IT'S THE COLOR PINK THAT CONNECTS THEM THEY ARE EACHOTHERS PORTKEYS (sorry i am watching the scene right now and i just ahh the music the clips i am crying)

they say goodbye to dol in advance (is very emotional okay..bring tissues)

their new movie is gonna be shown not only at one film festival but two!

they go on a trip to the film festival, the night before they leave puen says goodbye to pakorns parents (next round of tissues)

after the festival is done, thegroup all read out all the wishes they had written down before puen ofc only lets talay read his

puen and talay say their goodbyes to their friends aou, up, fuse and kita

talay and puen sit together at an lake and talk, right before puen can tell talay his name, the later falls asleep.

talay DREAMS and is hyper to tell puen..but it's no longer puen its pakorn again

to conclude the last two episodes of vice versa in a short form:

puen wakes up in an ambulance and is hellbend to find talay, he finds him but it is still tess in his body.

talay finds out about puens name and is hellbend to get to the place he dreamed off but the tide his making him wait over a month to get to the place he dreamed off.

puen visits tess just so he can look at his talays face (ohm in glasses is always a treat)

talay finally makes it back and finds out how tess fecked up his life. He is no longer a colorist for BFB, he was puens assistant but tess fucked it up also (what do we learn tess sucks..as talay and 90% as himself too)

talay begs BFB to take him back as a colorist and finds out that his boss is also a universe traveler. (they take him back ofc but on probation) He also has apologizes to his friends for whatever tess did to them.

talay gets some tickets for a movie premiere where puen also is. But he leaves before he gets a chance to talk to him. While getting some tim hortons he catches some of the livestream from the premiere he was on and hears puen talk about him and that he hopes to find him again.

talay goes to their speical location the greenhouse cafe and we get the dang scene

you can guess what they did next okay (even tho puen tried to pull and ..ohh i am not puen move but yeah they banged can't insert any more pictures BUT IMAGINE THE FISH GIF RIGHT HERE)

they eat breakfast and talay tries to make the conebread out of normal bread (I WANT TO SEE THE REAL THING TOMORROW ON TALAY FIGURING OUT HOW TO MAKE THEM HIMSELF)

puen is so in love with talay that he for e day forgets that he is a celebrity and that there a paparazzis he gets in a little drama of "puen kissing his old assistant?? puen LIKE MEN???"

to save puens career talay denies that they are together, but puen ain't having it and with the help of a video of a drunk talay explaining why he did it. THEY ARE FINALLY TOGETHER AND HAPPY

we get some "what is maybe happening over in the other universe" montage.

and talay finds their up and aou in their universe and befriends them.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think thats it thats the PLOT of vice versa..okay with a few little things missing so you HAVE to watch it.

I hope this masterpiece of a series makes now a little bit more sense to any of you. Or if you are now even more confused. (if so then i would recommend to have this open while watching it)

i love vice versa and i am still very glad it was my first real real BL i watched (i am not counting kinnporsche) and if i every get the chance to recommend a show it will be definitely be this show (@petrichoraline yes i will say this show and not futs as you would have thought! ha ❤😘)

still i have no idea on how to end these things..so ehh

taging people

@respectthepetty @isvisomewhere @benkaaoi

[futureslaps]

The Captive - Chapter 24

Chapter 23     Chapter 25

Holy moly! I know I said I’d be back to the more regular schedule, but this chapter took a LONG time to plan out. I’ve essentially charted out the fic until the end over the past few days, and I wanted to take a while to make sure everything was as perfect as I could get it. I’ve only got one shot and I want to try to do this right!

Anyways, I hope the wait was worth it, enjoy!

As usual, Jake sat quietly near the entrance of his Marui as the rest of his family slept. This was his time to think, and he had a lot to think about.

His conversations with Kiri and Spider had been…heavy. The implications of what he’d learned still weighed on him.

How could he have been so blind?

How could he not see that Spider was depending on him?

Jake couldn’t even begin to remember all the different times he could have hurt Spider. It was…unthinkable. Whatever the damage was, it would take time to repair. Both his relationship with Kiri, and especially his with Spider. Their talk today, with all 3 of them together, had been a good starting point.

Afterwards, he’d promised himself he’d talk to Neytiri while they were out hunting during the day. Jake was aware that his mate could be…touchy when it came to the kid, and he didn’t want to have that discussion with anyone else present. Especially not his family. But he had hope that he could help her see.

Things seemed to be hopeful, looking up.

And yet…

Jake couldn’t shake the feeling that something else was bothering Spider. Even with everything he’d said, he felt like something was missing, going unsaid. He remembered when he tried to ask Spider about his captivity, and again was essentially shut down. Kiri had practically warned him not to prod.

But Jake needed to know. He refused to ever be blind to Spider’s pain again. He wanted desperately to help the kid with whatever had happened, but their conversation had made it clear Spider wasn’t ready to talk.

Quaritch, though…

Despite his denials, the Demon was almost certainly behind whatever happened to Spider when he was with the RDA. After all, he had been with Quaritch on the ship.

‘I don’t know him’ my ass.

Who knew what horrors Spider had been subjected to under his enemy’s orders? Jake’s heart began to beat faster as a new sense of determination filled him.

He needed to do this. For Spider.

He got up from his spot, took another look at his family, still sound asleep, and headed into the night. Jake hadn’t pressed Quaritch enough. Tonight, Jake would find out exactly why Spider was so afraid to talk about his captivity, whatever it took. If Quaritch thought he could take it to the grave, he was dead wrong.

(…)

The night was almost silent. There was no breeze, no sounds of distant animals, and even the sound of the waves on the beach was only a gentle lapping. It was unusually quiet, like the whole of Pandora was holding its breath in anticipation.

Spider could practically hear his heart pounding in his chest as he crept along the beach, knife clutched in his hand. The weight of what he was about to do sunk in more and more as he slunk through the silent night. It twisted his stomach into knots. He was practically confirming the worst things people said about him.

He is the Demon’s son. He cannot be trusted. He is dangerous.

Spider couldn’t deny that he had thought about freeing his father before. The thought had crossed his mind every time he went to visit the man, ever more intrusively as the time left until the trial had grown shorter and shorter.

But every time, he had quickly suppressed the thought, burying the plan with the wave of guilt that swept through him each time he considered it. This man was supposed to be his enemy. Quaritch hated everythingelse that Spider held dear. How dare Spider even think of releasing him? It was practically a crime against Eywa, with all Quaritch had done.

But Spider kept coming back to the idea regardless. It had to work somehow. It had to be better than…whatever lay in his future otherwise. Surely Eywa could understand?

If things went well, he’d leave with Quaritch, and they’d be long gone before anyone realized they were missing. The Sullys, and the rest of the Na’vi would piece together what had happened, of course. Maybe that’s what hurt Spider the most. The thought of the people he’d once called family learning about his betrayal.

But this was for the Sullys’ sakes as much as his. Spider knew that he had to stop hurting them. If leaving was the only way left, so be it.

Spider finally reached the hut and crept alongside it. In the silence, even a small noise so close could alert the guards. He’d had to be careful. Even with the thick material of the hut, his conversation with Quaritch would have to be quiet, no matter how important it was today.

Spider found his usual entrance and paused for a moment. The sinking feeling in his gut reminded him of the first time he’d ever visited his father.

He had crossed a point of no return that night. That had been the day when, after all the time they’d had together, he’d finally accepted that Quaritch was his dad, and he did care about the man.

Maybe, since that first visit, this moment had been inevitable…

But it still felt like a final choice. A choice between Quaritch, and the life he had now. Spider could still walk away. He could throw away the knife, and his plan would never be revealed, known only to Eywa herself. Quaritch would be executed, and Spider would live…whatever life he could among the Na’vi.

But in his mind, Spider had already chosen.

He took a deep breath, and muttered, almost silently.

“May Eywa forgive me for what I am about to do.”

Still clutching the knife, he slid under the canvas and into the hut for the final time.

Inside the prison, the silence was almost complete. The canvas walls muffled what little sound there was outside. Spider was distinctly aware of the sound of his own breathing.

And that of another.

“Spider?” Quaritch’s voice was a whisper.

“Dad.” Spider crept up to the bars. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he started to make out his dad’s face, it’s various spots softly glowing in the dark. Quaritch wore a pained expression, and he looked…tired. Worn down. Spider felt almost like he was looking at a mirror of his own emotions.

“Spider, I’m…sorry about yesterday. Having to shoo you away like that. I…”

“It…It’s okay, dad.” Spider rushed out, his heart somehow beating even faster.

“No, I…” Quaritch stopped when Spider lifted his arm, noticing the knife it held for the first time.

“What’s that?” Quaritch asked, confused, and concerned.

“Dad…” Spider took a deep breath.

“I’m here to break you out.”

The concern on Quaritch’s face morphed into a look of slight shock. His mouth was slightly open as he tried to process the words Spider had just said.

“Kid…what…?

“This knife can cut through your ties, and through the wall” Spider quickly explained, moving his hand lightly onto the blade, and offering the knife to Quaritch.

His father took the knife, but just looked at it in his hand, making no movements to cut his binds.

“Dad?” Spider’s mind raced as he watched Quaritch’s seemingly nonexistent reaction. Every second felt like an eternity.

Finally, Quaritch let out a sigh.

“No way, kid.”

Spider’s heart dropped. Had Quaritch just…refused?

“W-what?” Spider managed to stammer out.

Quaritch smiled sadly.

“There ain’t a chance in hell they don’t figure out it was you who cut me loose. I’m in here because I wanted to protect you. There’s no way I’m putting that kind of heat on you to get out.”

Spider didn’t flinch, but his heart was pounding.

“I’m coming with you, dad.”

Quaritch raised an eyebrow, clearly surprised. Spider sensed it and quickly elaborated.

“I…can’t stay here anymore, dad. When I said … there isn’t anything left for me, I meant it. All I want now is to be with you. I have to leave”

Quaritch shook his head.

“It can’t work, kid. What, do you think we’ll swim away? With every tribal on our tail?”

“We…we can take an ilu.” Spider spoke, trying to keep his hope up in the face of reality. “The Metkayina ride on them to travel. We’ll be gone by morning. But we have to go now!”

“They’ll know where we’re going, Spider.” Quaritch emphasized, his voice was laden with emotion, but still stern. “Bridgehead’s in one direction, and I guarantee they’ll catch way before we cover that distance.”

“Then we won’t go to Bridgehead.” Spider answered, the desperation in his voice becoming clearer. “We’ll just go somewhere, anywhere else. Anywhere with nature. I can show you how to live out here…” Spider had made the same proposal to Quaritch before, while they were on the Sea Dragon. At the time, it had been met with yelling and hostility. But now, the same words made Quaritch’s ears droop.

“We can survive, I know we can. We…”

Spider stopped as Quaritch thrust the knife deep into the dirt between them. He put his hands on Spider’s shoulders, looked his son in the eyes, and, after a moment spoke one word.

“No.”

Spider stared back at his dad, his eyes now glistening with tears.

“But…we can…we could…”

“No, Spider.” Quaritch looked sorrowful, almost pained as he spoke. “It’s too dangerous. Too reckless. I will not take the risk of losing you. You’re everything to me, Spider.”

“Dad…I…I can’t lose you.” Spider choked out quietly. “I can’t…imagine being without you. I need you. I don’t want you to die…”

Quaritch made no attempt to mask the pain he was feeling, but he still shook his head.

“My time’s up, Spider. I… don’t like it any more than you do, but I will not let you throw your own life away too.”

Spider sobbed quietly.

“Dad…please…”

It was a desperate plea, but Spider knew Quaritch. He’d made up his mind, and there was no changing that.

It’s over.

As the last of the adrenaline left Spider, he started to lose his balance, overcome by a mounting tiredness. Before he could fall, though, Quaritch pulled him into a hug, as close as he could against the bars.

“I’m sorry.” Spider whimpered against his dad’s shoulder between muffled sobs. “It’s all my fault.”

Quaritch frowned.

“Don’t blame any of this on yourself, Spider.” Spider looked up, his eyes red. Quaritch continued.

“No, it’s my fault. I should’ve seen long ago how much you matter to me. I should have made you priority from day one. Maybe I should have even taken you up on your offer to run away. But I was stupid, and I was blind. I was busy hunting Sully, and I kept looking you over, until it was…too late. And now, I’m paying the price.”

Quaritch took a moment to gently adjust the mask on Spider’s face, shifted from the hug, then finished.

“But you won’t pay that price with me. You’ll get through this.”

Spider looked down in silence. He sighed, then spoke.

“I…I can’t. I’m not strong enough. I don’t know what I’ll do…when you…”

“Look at me kid.”

Quaritch lifted Spider’s chin to look him in the eyes again.

“I’m not asking you to be strong and power through everything.” He put a sad smile on his face. “That’s what I do, kid, and look where it got me. You’ve got kindness. You’re not a killer. You ain’t some trickster or cheat. You’re not hell-bent on fighting and revenge. You’re a good kid, Spider. You’re nice. You’ve got compassion. You’ve got heart. That’s how I know you’ll make it to the other side.”

“You’re not me.”

Spider didn’t speak at first. When he replied, his voice was quiet.

“I’m a traitor. The fact that I’m here proves it.”

Quaritch shook his head again.

“Nah, you ain’t here because you hate the Na’vi. This isn’t your revenge, some plan against them. You wanted to save me, kid. Same way you saved those Na’vi in that burning village from me.” Quaritch said, alluding to the raids he’d dragged Spider along on.

“It’s your way, kid. You don’t want to see people get hurt. Even a mean old freak of nature like me.”

Spider remained quiet for a long time after this. He looked down again, deep in thought. Finally the boy cracked a small smile, even with the tears still in his eyes.

“Old? You’re not old. You’re like…25?”

Quaritch smirked back.

“Body’s new, but my mind’s got the mileage, kid.”

“What’s that?”

Quaritch pulled Spider back into a hug, though looser than before.

“Forget about it. Just remember what I said, okay?”

“Okay dad.”

Spider closed his eyes as his father held him. This night hadn’t gone at all like he’d imagined. But somehow…he felt better.

Was his dad right?

Was there hope? Even after the trial?

“I…I’ll miss you, dad.” Spider whispered.

These moments reminded him of what he’d lose the most. Knowing what a hard man Quaritch was, and how cold and emotionless he could be, these moments between them were all the more special. He would remember every one of them.

Spider kept his eyes closed. If only it could last forever.

He felt himself start to drift off to sleep…

The sound of muffled voices outside made them both suddenly tense. Spider’s eyes shot open.

“Dad…?”

“Quiet, kid.” Quaritch whispered sternly, barely audibly. Neither of them dared move, with the once-sleepy guards now obviously wide awake. The talking continued for a moment; the words indiscernible. Then, finally, it became quiet again.

Spider breathed a sigh of relief, leaning back into Quaritch’s hug.

Then, the flap to the hut flew up, and Jake ducked inside, holding a long knife in his hand.

The moment he looked up, he froze, staring at the image of Quaritch holding Spider in his arms.

Jake’s wish is granted...😨

Hope you liked the chapter! Apologies if you were hoping to see an epic Quaritch & Spider getaway, but I felt like that big of a risk to Spider wouldn’t fly with Quaritch. Maybe I’ll write it as a little bonus content once the fic ends...

Spider’s plan still comes into play, though...

Taglist: @yesthisismycurrenthyperfixation @buzzing-honeybee @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed

[sunnydaleherald]

The Sunnydale Herald Newsletter, Saturday, July 27

BUFFY: Where did you send him? ANYA: The land of the trolls. He'll like it there. Full of trolls. WILLOW: It's hard to be precise, though. Alternate universes don't stay put. Trying to send him to a specific place is sort of like... like... trying to hit a... puppy, by throwing a live bee at it. Which is a weird image, and you should all just forget it. ANYA: It's possible that he's in the land of perpetual Wednesday... or the crazy melty land... or, you know, the world without shrimp. TARA: There's a world without shrimp? I'm allergic. WILLOW: He, he's probably in troll land.

~~BtVS 5x11 “Triangle”~~

[Drabbles & Short Fiction]

Savor It (Spike, PG-13) by veronyxk84

burnin’ yearnin’ to learn (Buffy/Giles/Jenny, E) by evesock

spuffy drabbles: Normal is Overrated (Buffy/Spike, T) by spikesummers

[Chaptered Fiction]

Shadowed Suspicion Chapter 335 (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure xover, T) by madimpossibledreamer

But then he rose, brilliant as the moon in full, and sank in the burrows of my keep..., Chapter 1/? (Giles/Jenny, Ensemble, M) by ohrevienssoleil

1721, Chapter 1/6 (Buffy/Giles, T) by Dynapink

Through the Looking Glass, Chapter 3/6 (Lindsey, multiple xovers, G) by shadeshifter

Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Shadowed Suspicion Volume X, Chapter 28/29 (Jojo's Bizarre Adventure xover, T) by arcanedreamer

Knock, knock!, Chapter 15/17 (Buffy/Spike, not rated) by Popsy

The Right Swipe, Chapter 2/? (Buffy/Giles, E) by DancingAngel0013

Autobot Meets Vampire, Chapter 8/8 COMPLETE! (Faith, Transformers xover, M) by Philister

Pick Me Up, Chapter 12/30 (Buffy/Spike, T) by Dusty87

In Case You Haven't Noticed..., Chapter 29/? (Buffy/Giles, E) by Sdhuskerfan

Hungry Like the Wolf, Chapter 2/5 (Buffy/Giles, E) by fleetfootedfox

Secrets That We Keep, Chapter 7/? (Ensemble, M) by NegaCorgi

Once Chosen, Chapter 1/? (Buffy/Giles, Ensemble, M) by RowanIsabellaMcCarter

In the Company of Witches and Slayers:, Chapter 113/200 (Willow/Tara, E) by VladimirHarkonnen (TheLightdancer)

[French Language] Do as Romans do, Chapter 39 (Dawn/Spike, T) by OldGirl-NoraArlani

Faith of the Future, Chapter 3 (Faith, M) by LadyJDee

East of Nevada, Chapters 6-7 (Buffy/Spike, R) by Blissymbolics

Itty Bitty Wiggy Piggy, Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by ClowniestLivEver

Blue Recall, Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by VoronaFiernan, hydranjenna

The Degradation of Duality [Series Part 2], Chapter 36 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Ragini

Helped, Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by Roboticghost

Arrive Before the Birds, Chapter 7 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by EverythingElse

School of Hard Knocks, Chapter 9 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Melme1325

Way Out, Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, R) by simmony

Love Lives Here, Chapter 90 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Passion4Spike

Night Carnival, Chapter 4 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by tbd

Some You Lose, Chapter 19 (Buffy, Stargate xover, FR13) by lyapunov

Crave, Chapter 3 (Buffy/Spike, Adult Only) by NautiBitz

What the Drabble? Vol. 2, Chapter 53 (Buffy/Spike, PG-13) by VeroNyxK84

Love Lives Here, Chapter 90 (Buffy/Spike, NC-17) by Passion4Spike

Indecent Proposal, Chapter 25 (Buffy/William/Xander, Adults Only) by harrisxander2

Risque Roommates, Chapters 8-9 (Buffy/Faith/Spike, Adults Only) by shithappens

[Images, Audio & Video]

Artwork: spike (worksafe) by tacilustra

Artwork: [Drawing of Buffy and Faith] (worksafe) by ibtravart

Artwork: [Drawings of Buffy Summers] (worksafe) by tiaragloryart

[Recs & In Search Of]

ISO: Looking for a Faith x Buffy fanfic I read ages ago requested by gq_by_j

[Fandom Discussions]

there’s something about Buffy’s ‘hello Spike’ and her little smile that makes me desperately overthink this scene by youhavethesun

I do wish that Ted in Buffy wasn’t a robot by therulerofallpotatos

I think I get now why I feel so impatient during the Buffy/Angel scenes by agirlinsearchof

Buffy/Kendra would be such a cute couple! by agirlinsearchof

The main problem with Season 7 is that they set up character arcs and narratives and themes only to just drop them and do something else or ignore them completely by girl4music

I was kind of shocked by… well a lot of how Xander is in the first 2 seasons by yesbothways

[POLL] best buffy summers hair by evilwickedme

Merrick, my man! by redhatmeg

the first thing Angel does when he gets back from mourning Buffy by enigmatist17

Crazy how anyone– creators, fans, in-canon characters, even Spike himself– could possibly think his love for Buffy would ever stop by violettathepiratequeen

What type of Citroen did Giles drive? by ILLYRIAN

Bangel fans, What’s the appeal for you? by vamp-willow

Problems with the Bronze by Sorry-Personality594

Sunnyvale high has one hell of a school budget by Sorry-Personality594

Rewatching Chosen and realising this show is really getting on in years by JumpyParamedic32

Xander's bachelor party by Guilty-Tie164

Why do mental patients see that Dawn is the key? by 1800-burner

Is Dru actually crazy, or is it that she dgaf? by ginime_

Anya isn’t appreciated enough by the fanbase. by secretlifeofmex

I hated how Willow acted in The Body by cassandracurse

Season 4 : adult rewatch by bigbadllama

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[whosurisold]

You know it's an election year when gas prices increase for no apparent reason. GREED!

gQp maga repigliKans need tons of money from their wealthy corporate donors for elections,

gQp maga politicians need higher gas prices to push prices higher on everythingelse, creating a FAKE inflation just to hurt Dems political chances in 2024 election.

STOP falling for their election year "blame game".

[possuminnit]

SHE SNAPPED A GUY'SNECK LAINEYYYYYYY she's coworkers with Belzenlock and says he can't wait to PLaaaaaaaay oughgghggfg

is. Hey is she single. i could fix her on hating aldren. not on the other stuff tho i hope she says how she is on everythingelse

[hannahhbic]

Tag game! Thank you for the tag @miyumih4 🩵

Favorite color: purple

Currently watching: crazy ex gf, hq (with friends), rewatch of daiya act ii

Sweet/savory/spicy: savory for sure

Relationship status: gay married for 5+ years

Current obsession: daiya (specifically trans headcanons and rarepairs)

Last thing you googled: the lyrics to brat by chrissy chlapecka

Tagging: @eastbluesaga @thebarnburn @ophelisae @pheenick @life-universe-and-everythingelse

[shoegazekid]

#everythingelse #shoegaze