#everytime i look at the list i just thing 'that sounds boring to do the rest of your life'

[aremegay]

.

[writingrock]

let me be numb to you [3]

pairing: aventurine x reader (gender neutral) summary: being bored at some club sucks. but when you meet a charming stranger offering you some fun, you don't say no.

notes: drug use, gambling, addiction, mentions of overdose, angst

word count: 2k

chapter list

a/n: it's better to read these in order but i hope yall like the ending <3

His apartment has changed slightly. Aventurine turns on the lights, letting you see how different the apartment looks. Same place, but it’s neater and has more belongings. It looks like an actual home now. Memories of the past where the two of you fooled around in his apartment flood your mind. Did he think of you after all this time?

Your attention turns to the shuffling at your side, watching as Aventurine changes his shoes to some home slippers. He’s already set aside a pair of slippers for you to wear. Stumbling, you slip your strappy heels off and step into them. A soft sigh of relief leaves your mouth, you forgot how nice it felt outside of heels. Your aching feet sink into the soft material, stepping into his apartment. Aventurine is already by the kitchen counter, pouring himself water. Without looking up, he speaks to you.

“Do you.. want some water..?” His voice drags somewhat awkwardly. This is the first time he’s spoken to you since he’s picked you up.

“Yeah– uh sure.. thanks.” The faint sound of water pouring fills the silence. You move your way to the couch quietly. How you sink slightly into the firm cushions of the couch reminds you of the past. Countless late nights of drinking and fooling around on this exact couch. You could almost visualise these sweet moments, the faded forms dancing around the room. A glass comes to view, and your head tilts up as you take the glass of water from Aventurine.

He doesn’t meet your gaze. You can feel the couch shift when his weight sits next to you. Time ticks on as the two of you sit in this deafening silence. It’s awkward. Tension is heavy on the both of you, as pent up emotions are seeping through. You take a sip of the water, refreshing your dry mouth. Aventurine is leaning back on the couch. On his lap, his hands are toying with his beloved gambling token. He casts his eyes down to marvel at the coin shining in the dim light. All of this to stall the inevitable.

The both of you needed to talk.

“Why’d you just disappear?” Your question cuts through the silence. Beating around the bush will do nothing for either of you. He has ghosted your texts and calls for one whole year. Everytime you came to his apartment, it either seemed like he wasn’t here or he was ignoring you. You needed an explanation from him, you deserved at least that. Aventurine pauses, holding the token in his hand for a moment before going back to play with it. He flicks it in the air as he thinks of what to really say.

He left because it’s who he is. It was easier to run away from his problems, his past, and you. If he ignores these things long enough, they’ll fade away, won’t they? The thought gives him temporary relief from the storm of issues. But he knows that he’s just lying to himself. An illusion that could shatter with his consciousness. That’s why he used to drown himself with whatever he could get. Alcohol, drugs, smoking, sex. He filled the days with trivial gambles and mindless substance abuse to drown out the gnawing in the back of his mind. Keeping himself in a muddled state so he didn’t have to think about anything.

He’s moved on from all of that of course. Now he only drinks from time to time, maybe an occasional slip of the pill. But Aventurine simply changed his methods of escape: from drugs to work. Taking in any assignments that the IPC would give him so he could work tirelessly and forget about everything in his life. He hasn’t changed for the better. If not for you, he could have continued that lucky streak of endless gambling and inebriety.

After the incident, he needed to step away from you. He couldn't help but feel guilty for getting involved with you. In truth, he blames himself for your overdose. Despite your protests, he still believes that he’s the root of your downfall. Perhaps if he didn’t meet you at that bar, if he said nothing, you wouldn’t be here right now. He’s pushed you into this ruthless cycle for his own selfish reasons. Why did he desire you by his side? His craving for companionship only led you to be sucked into a dark place. Does everything he touch have to become tainted?

Aventurine knows he isn’t exactly a saint either with no right to tell you what to do. But everytime he looks at you, he’s reminded of the night where he could have lost you. You were in too deep and he didn’t know what to do. Maybe he could have persuaded you to take it slow and get help. That’s what he wishes he did. Alas, Aventurine’s nothing but a self-loathing coward. He left because it was easier.

Dealing with you would mean he’d have to confront his past. As much as he wants to clear things between the two of you, Aventurine isn’t ready for that, yet. He knows his avoidance is only prolonging the pain and guilt. In the quiet of the night when he’s exhausted from work, you resurface. You’ve always followed him in the back of his mind. When he works, he can silence his thoughts. It’s only when everything is too quiet, that you poison his peace of mind.

Were you recovering or still partying dangerously? Did you have another… overdose? Did you wake up without him? Your presence next to him answers his worst fears. Without him, you fell deeper into it Yet, even with this awareness, the thought of confrontation is too daunting, too terrifying. What if confronting the problem only makes it worse? What if it reveals truths he’s not ready to accept? The fear paralyses him, wrapping itself around his thoughts like a suffocating blanket, whispering that it’s safer to stay hidden, to stay silent. He’s scared. It’s so much easier to run.

As his thoughts raced, so did yours. His silence only crumbles your being, and being next to him makes you feel alone. Didn’t you deserve even one word or did he deem you that unworthy? Why did he leave you for a whole year with no explanation? His disappearance was heartbreaking for you and yet this moment feels worse.

You’re his ride or die. With him, you had no regrets. Life was colourful with him and when he left, everything became slower. Nothing felt exciting or that fun anymore. You could never hit that blissful high without him. So you aimlessly went bar to bar, fooling with strangers to get even a touch of what you had with Aventurine. It never worked. No one could replace him.

In the end, you were left craving for him. You were never addicted to drugs, were you? You were addicted to him. Scrambling around to find a replacement only solidified the truth. He was the spark that made life worth waking up to. Going on those crazed adventures with him– with his true self, not the facade he uses. It was never about partying or gambling. It was always him.

Yet you continued your ways, sinking deeper into the spiral. It was easier to lose yourself than to think about the fact that he left you. Perhaps you’ll be able to touch the same high you got with him if you continued. Just once more. Your heart swells when you turn to look at him now. You wish that you could tell him that you love him. That you’ve only ever wanted to be by his side. But you’re scared too. Confessing could push him further away. So fuck that option. Besides, you’re furious with him. Ghosting you for a year and he can’t even manage one word to you? Your jaw stiffens as you bite your tongue down, and rage bubbles deep within you as the clock ticks on.

What if he’s making a mistake by not acting? His fingers become even more fidgety with the token in his hands. Is he just delaying the inevitable? Aventurine has always been confident on gambles, work, and bets. Yet with you, he’s in cold sweat. Is he really saving himself from greater pain? He thinks he’s protecting himself from a truth he’s not ready to face. Each thought spirals into the next, creating a tangled web of indecision and anxiety.

You don’t deserve this. You’re the only genuine person in his life, is he really going to risk losing you? Give and take. It didn’t matter what either of you got from each other. You wanted to be around him for him. He wants you with him for you. Aventurine loves you and it’s not just lust. Vulnerability sinks into his flesh and he tenses at the feeling. Every instinct of his is telling him to run away from you.

Can he continue to avoid you? To hope against hope that tomorrow will bring the courage he lacks tonight, even though that tomorrow may never come. No, it’s not right. He knows it’s not right, yet why is it so hard to say how he feels? Sometimes he wishes his mouth is faster than his thoughts.

“Fucking say something, Aventurine.” you hiss. Your voice betrays the anger inside of you. You want to scream at him but your body is too exhausted to do so. Instead you crumble and reduce into sobs. Aventurine finally looks at you. He’s made a mistake, hasn’t he? His arm gently goes around your back but you flinch and push it away.

“What was the reason, Aven?” Your chest heaves with the force of each cry. Clutching the fabric of your top. “I wasn’t enough for you? Did you get bored of me?”

No, no, and no. He could never get bored of you. You are more than enough. He says your name, his voice softening as guilt eats him up. He shouldn’t have left you.

“Just tell me.” Your tears don’t stop as you plead with him, “I’ll never bother you again if you just tell me. Anything is better than silence– just, please, say something.” All you ask for is an explanation. Why do words fail him at this moment? How does he even begin to speak his feelings? He’s always bottled them up and deemed them to be redundant. How does he tell you that you showed him the world isn’t as bleak as he thought? He just wants to hold you, make you feel better. But he knows it starts with being vulnerable.

You weren’t sure if it was the drugs in your system or the repressed emotions. But you lash out at Aventurine. Saying something you didn’t mean in the heat of it all. Tears sting as they streak down your cheeks, your mascara becoming a mess. Your heart beating faster as an uncontrollable fury burst inside of you.

“You were right, I fucking regret that night.” You whisper loud enough for him to hear, “I wish I never met you, Aventurine.” You slump softly against the couch, letting yourself break down.

His arms pull you in, wrapping you in a sickeningly warm embrace. The scent of his cologne envelopes you as you sob. You want to scream and break free from him. Be angry at him. But you melt into his embrace, this soft and warm embrace that feels like paradise. Why can’t you be angry at him? Aventurine looks down at your weak form, his eyes narrowed in pain, frustration and guilt.

“Hate me, scream at me,” he sounds like those late nights you guys shared before. Just like those intimate nights in those hotel rooms. “Use me.” There’s an undertone of regret and sadness. Aventurine’s arms are shaking as he holds you tight, his every attempt at keeping still proving useless. His fear of losing you is overtaking everything else.

“I’m sorry, please just…” a quiver in his voice as his grip on you tightens, “stay, please.”

Why can’t I be numb to you?

a/n: the ending is ambigious for you readers to decide for yourself. I hope you guys like it !! Aventurine in this fic is meant to be a worsened version of him (aventurine before he accepted his trauma/past).

border credits: @enchanthings & @adornedwithlight

[keelt9]

Chapter 2

Masterlist

“Oh shit!” 

I whisper, feeling the burn sensation on my hand. My cup of tea is burning in my hand.

The sound of the doorbell makes my mother run downstairs and opens the door; screamings and yelling sounds pull my father to the door. I dry my hand after putting it under the cold water before hearing the quick and small footsteps.

“AUNT Y/N!” Archie screams as he runs and reaches me in the frame door of the kitchen. He jumps so I can hug him.

“You're heavy.” He giggles, his little arms around my neck. 

“No, auntie is the coat!” I put him down seeing my brother walking to us.

He opened his arms too. “I still can't believe it.” He lifted me from the ground. “A Christmas miracle.”

I pinch his ribs and Nora hugs me. “It's good having you here.”

Nora and Peter meet in college. Peter studied architecture and Nora urbanism, after a boring Halloween party where both of them leave early wearing a silly costume, their love story begins. Two years after their graduation got engaged, and a year after they announced they were pregnant.

Do the math, Peter is really really older than me, 10 years older to be more specific.

“Mom is a beautiful Christmas tree.” Peter said as we sat in the living room, his eyes stuck in the big tree and the red and white colors all over it.

“Oh, this time, Y/N is the mastermind.” Mom smiles at me. “You must be hungry, let’s go, Y/N are finishing the breakfast.” 

I chuckle because I barely put the coffee maker on.

Nora serves more orange juice to Archie. “This is your second week here?” She asked me, I nod because I'm mouthful. “Having fun?”

She knows how much I love my work and the few, almost nonexistent days off I take, I see her lively eyes.

“I have… a lot of things that keep me busy.” She laughs, as we change the conversation to what is in the Christmas List of Archie.

When we finish breakfast we all start to get ready for the day, Peter reaches me in the door, eating another slice of apple pie. “A lot of things, huh?” I roll my eyes. 

“How many have you already eaten?” He offers me his plate, but Archie grabs his father's leg. 

“Ready buddy?” Archie nods with a lot of excitement.. “Are you sure you can handle him?” He smiles at him.

I scoff. “Come on! It’s not my first time.” Dad appears with the keys of the car. “Besides, I have backups.” Peter laughs as we see Nora walking to us chatting with mom. 

“Now, have fun, we are in charge of this little cookie monster.” Mom lifts Archie from the ground walking to the car. 

“We pick him up for lunch, all right?” Peter says, dad put a hand on his shoulder before reaching mom and Archie. 

Archie is a really quiet and shy boy; since he is one year old, he loves to spend time with our parents at home or in the coffee shop where he basically increases the sales with that cute smile and his curly hair. Among that he loves to spend time with dad as he listens to him playing the piano.

That day Archie was hypnotized by the piano and the Christmas tree next to the window. 

“It took me a lot of time, do you like it?” Archie nods, running to the piano pulling me by the hand. 

“Just one please!” Archie makes me sit as he tries to climb to the black seat in front of the piano. “And I promise I will just eat one cookie of each flavor!” 

I laugh, his parents set the limit for two cookies, that’s all. “Archie, I haven’t played in a while.” I grab his little face.

“Please, just one.” He swings his little feet looking at the piano and…I gave up.

It was like a natural thing with dad, at a young age Pete and I learned to play piano as we grew up we passed late nights weekends hearing dad play and unconsciously go and play with him. When Nora and Peter knew they were expecting, he used to play for Archie in his free time and as a baby became my as under the sleeve, everytime he was in a bad mood, I played what became our favorite song.

I stretch my fingers before starting to play, Archie moving all his body side to side, after recognizing the song he starts to hum. I lost in his soft voice and the note of the piano; when we reach the end a lot of claps make us jump.

In the coffee, people gather, some with their orders in their hands, another making a line but all with soft smiles. 

“You start to build your legacy Mr. Stratton?” One of the customers said to my dad who proudly denied with his head. Slowly people go and the rest remain waiting for their orders, Archie turns with a smile in his face and gives me high five.

“You’re not that off pitch aunt.” I scoff. 

“You got a friend on me, beautiful.” Like a magnet, Archie turns around with his eyes wide open.

“JOE!” He jumps off the bench and goes to hug Burrow. “Hi!” Joe was sitting in his heels so he could try to be at his height. He hugs Archie with one arm and before they split, he lifts a cookie to the level of his eyes.

“It’s a secret, all right?” Joe whispers, making Archie giggle and hug him again, this time a cookie in his mouth. 

“Let’s go, cookie monster! Give them something to wait for.” Mom appears to take Archie to the office. “Joe and grandpa have things to talk about.” She smiles at Joe. “Simon be here in a minute darling” 

I lift trying to follow mom. “Hey, Y/N, do you have a minute?” 

Last night was a moment of crisis, after Joe helped me to put the star I froze for a seconds but I remember the last time we was this close; how he quickly take his arm of my hands like if I was some kind of plague, makes my body react and move to the side avoiding his proximity, leaving him standing as I grab the boxes to the storage. 

“Actually, I have things to do, my dad will be here any minute.” I try to pass next to him, avoiding all the time his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” I hissed at hearing his words, for years and months I tried to know what I did that was so awful that made him turn apart. “I was so rude, but…” Now, after years, I don’t need this. 

“Hey, I’m fine, it was years ago.” I feel stuck on the floor. “Whatever you feel sorry for, it's ok, it doesn’t matter anymore. You are a special person to my family, but for me…” I turned around, this time that ice eyes were far gone. “You’re just Joe Burrow, not more.” 

“I got it!” Dad appears with a file in his hands. “Thank you honey.” He smiles at me as I pass to the office to reunite with mom and Archie.

Late at night I was working on the manuscript, the drawings are quite bizarre but strangely enchanting at the same time, it keeps me fascinated. 

“Working late?” Peter appears in the kitchen, hair messy and eyes half close. 

“Kind of. I just find it hard to sleep.” I close my laptop, he nods, thinking for a couple of seconds then smiles at me like when I was kid. 

“MILK WITH CHOCOLATE!” Both of us scream in a low voice. 

We sit in the backyard with our huge cups. “Archie told us Joe went to the store and gave him a cookie.” I laughed,Joe must know all the secrets are known by my brother.. “He calls Joe his secret friend.” 

I lick the whipped cream off the top. “I didn’t know he was like this with Arcihe.” 

“Oh, he is. You’ll see it, we have tickets for the next game, come with us and no, it’s not a question.” He answered before I complained. “And on Christmas he sent him a nice present every year. He’s a great guy.” 

I sip the hot milk as he does.“Oh, Archie gossips a lot about you too.” I narrow my eyes.

“Yeah, right.” Peter laughs but answers.

“I’m serious, he always told him about how amazing you are and the latest news of you.” Peter giggled. “Joe listens to him all the time, even if he is late. It’s kind of lovely.”

Peter saw me, but I didn't give it importance. “It’s normal, I’m his super aunt.” He pushed the cup to my face and covered my nose with the cream. 

For a second I kept my eyes in the tree of the back yard, the cold breeze made us shiver. “We should go to sleep, or we will get a cold.”

“Y/N!” Leah threw me a white flower. “The white ribbon.” She laughed as I gave her the ribbon. “Where is your mind these days?” She gets down the stairs, I helped her to put up decorations for a session she has to take this afternoon.

“If you find it, tell me, because I didn't even know.” She leans on the desk.

“Is it for your conversion with Joe?” I told her what happened thinking this could be what I needed but every time I remember that day, endless questions and mixed feelings hit me. “Hey, any closure isn’t easy, take your time.” She point to my heart. “This is what take the longest to heal.”

I nod, helping her to pick all the things she won't use. “I guess you’re not going to the game, right?” 

I already built a perfect excuse for that. I have an important meeting, we have to send the last manuscripts of the year for the authors review, so I can’t go. Part true, the lie is the manuscript usually sends the week of new years eve, not this. Pam helps me with tricky mail to show it to my family.

“No, at all, do you have any plans?” Leah giggles but her eyes told me she indeed has.

“There is a nice restaurant, I’ll pay, I own it for you.” I laugh for the flop from the party of Miles, the love story she already start to write in her face crumble down when he introduced us to his fiance in his party. 

I say goodbye to my family at the door, all wearing his Bengals outfit. “Have fun, all right?” 

“Any chance you come?” Nora asks, I shake my head. 

“You read it, I need to be in this meeting, I’m sorry.” Mom hugs me and says she left the dinner in case I’m hungry. I’ll be back before them anyway. 

One of the couple Leah took photos of their wedding last spring, owns that restaurant, an Italian restaurant to be more specific.

“Wow.” I exclaim the place is full, you can smell all types of aromas in perfect balance, inviting you to eat.

A blond girl who recognizes Leah runs to her to take us to our table; she is the bride, who is in love with Leah's work. Before the desert arrives, Leah excuses herself for going to the bathroom. I see in my phone the photos of Archie in the game wearing his hoodie. 

I can hear from the table beside us a guy speaking bravely. 

“27- 12” A guy says with full joy. “Burrow is him!” 

Even here?

My morning passed between praises to Joe, how amazing the game was and the fact Joe met Archie post game and introduced him to his favorite player Cam Taylor Britt. So I remain at home as much as possible, until the close time approaches. I take a cab to help my parents close the coffee.

“Long day?” Mom asks as I enter the coffee shop and I sit in the first chair I found. 

“No, it’s just, I gave the house the last touch before Christmas.” I show my finger with a small cut for trying to put more lights in the window.

Peter and Nora enter with a huge box of cinnamon rolls, offering one to mom and dad.

“This is from <Sweet Crust>” I ask, the smell is unmistakable. Peter nodded with a huge smile, but didn’t give me one. “Hey!”

“Archie have yours.” Peter said looking at mom who already has that lethal eyes on her.

“Does he still keep him busy?” Dad asked, sitting at the same table as me.

Nora laughs. “He will think twice the second time he offers to babysit.”

I don't get it, but my answer came with Archie walking through the door holding Joe's hand. He keeps talking about his favorite topic of the season, Rudolph the Reindeer.

 “Is there a chance he could take a photo of Rudolph the Reindeer?” Archie asks but Joe pretends to think.

“Well, he is pretty fast, you know.” I giggle, I still fight from time to time to find the right words to answer his question and don’t break the magic.

My mom scoffs, the difference in size is hilarious. “Come on Archie, let Joe have a rest.” Archie nods, running to my mom, not before giving me a small box.

“Tea, Joe?” Mom asks him as she follows Archie.

“I’m fine, thanks.” He answers but his gaze makes me feel unsettled.

“Thank you Joe. You bring something sweet home.” Dad thanked him, before answering the phone which started to ring. “Hi Pam…”

Oh, damn it, I forgot I must send her the papers for the meetings with a couple of editors. I checked my phone and I already have 6 missing calls from her. 

“I got it!” I grab the box and my phone. “Can I take the car?” I ask but my dad is giving me the keys already. 

I kiss his cheek as he rolls his eyes. “See vacations are dangerous.” He laughs. 

In two days will be Christmas and my parents always teach us that a <Merry Christmas> could be healing words in this season.

 “Merry Christmas Joe.” I say as I exit the door.

I send Pam the files and explain to her in detail with which writers could be more tricky and some tips so she doesn’t freak out. “I’m sorry, I promise I will answer your calls.” 

I apologize to her as she rolls her eyes through the camera. “It’s ok, that means you’re enjoying your days off.” Her cellphone start to sound. “I have to go. Merry Christmas Y/N.” 

She smiled. “Merry Christmas Pam, say hi to you mom when you go home.” 

After we end the call I finally take my time to open the box with the cinnamon roll; the scent of vanilla makes me smile, I take a bite when I notice something is written inside of the box. 

<Merry Christmas!> I knew this handwriting.

While Peter was cleaning the table after the dinner, I practically attacked him. “You don't bought the cinnamon rolls?” 

Peter jumps for the straight forward question coming out of the blue. “I didn't even know that place existed. Joe promises Archie he will take him to one of his favorite places the next time he comes here.” I have a weird feeling. “That was last summer, so he picked him first in the morning at the coffee shop hour, at lunch sent us their location and we drove there, he seems like a frequent guest.”

This is my favorite bakery of the town, an issue is to the other side of the city. I took Joe one cold evening of June after he was ruled out and recovering from just knee surgery, 4 years ago.

“I mean, he is a really known face but you know, it seems he is a familiar face around there.” He threw the towel at me. “How do you know that place?” 

“I… I… I used to go there in high school.” I’m confused and Peter notices because he just nods and passes next to me. 

“Nice place.” I keep playing with the towel moving from one hand to another. 

I found it in Google in my first semester of the collage, I remember I drive the old car of mom to the other side of the city just for making sure that place really exist; I fell in love right away with the smell of cinnamon and vanilla, the second I enter when I tasted it, I knew it, this is something I wanted to share with someone special.

Before I went to college one more time and with Joe giving everything in his recovery, I did the same small trip with a detective Burrow in the passenger seat and his incessant questions. We ate 4 that time, not our wiser decision but we really enjoyed those hours. 

The last time I went, the owner, an old man probably in his 70's, called David, gave me a napkin as he put in front of me a milkshake, making me cover a fluffy face with a red eyes between my hands.

[scrumptiousstuffs]

Only Friends, Episode 5 - The Extra Hour

In which we get Sand’s backstory (and proving once and for all he is the best boy ever, even P’Jojo said so!) before petty Boston ruins everything (again 😩)

Sand and Ray

Gosh…these 2 are everything this episode. We start with a montage of how mundane and boring Sand life is - study, working his multiple jobs, exercising, counting his finance and repeat…until Ray comes beaming into his life, and really give some much needed sunshine (heh, see what I did there?) to Sand’s life - and as per Sand, “his 25th hour.”

I love the domestic scenes we get - from Ray pretty much moving in with Sand (I suspect some time has passed by from the previous episode), to their domestic horny stuffs, to Sand catering Ray’s every whim. But as much as Sand spoils Ray, Ray actually does the same - he could have chosen not to go on the bike with Sand (after whining how hot and dusty it will be), he could have chosen not to model and indulge Sand’s desire for him to wear Sand’s style of clothes (after again whining halfheartedly it’s not his style).

I believe Ray is gradually but surely moving on from his unrequited love for Mew. He likes getting to know Sand - from all the above, to following Sand to the makeshift concert (and the song choice!! It’s from one of P’Jojo’s list for Sand’s Spotify!). And the fact that everytime Sand is with him, they are in their own world (I mean, poor Summer - she never stood a chance with Ray 😂…are we sure Ray is a playboy? So far, all I’m getting is him being hyper focus on one person when he likes someone - previously Mew, now Sand).

I also love the serious conversations these 2 have surrounding their births and their respective relationships with their parents - it makes such a good foundation for their blossoming friendship (and hopefully relationship). Gosh, the parallel of both being born from unexpected pregnancies - but Sand’s mom (and her gaggle of go-go women, I LOVE THEM) deciding to embrace him and raise him right (just look at how independent and self-reliance he is! P’Jojo tweeted how Sand is someone you want as a boyfriend in University, and I agree wholeheartedly) while Ray’s mom unfortunately fall into post-partum depression and spiralled into alcoholism (and the way Sand’s hand shook when he poured the alcohol drink for Ray, before the camera zoom to Sand looking at Ray to the bottle while Ray looked somehow bitter and sad - yes, FK again showing their supremacy in acting 👌)

But urgh, their blossoming relationship is now in tatters because of Boston being bitter and petty. I think Boston being informed by Mew that the latter is giving up his virginity to Top put him at edge. (And him yet again using Nick to forget about the fact, hence the reason he asked Nick whether he could stay the night at Nick’s place, when it’s usually the opposite)

And so to see Ray moving on, being happy with Sand - it snapped him. Boston is the type of person who can’t stand not winning, and I also think he has the mentality of “if I’m not happy, nobody can.” 😫

I still do not believe Ray and Mew slept together, so whatever Boston is spouting “are you two timing him?”, what does that even mean? Also, Mew called to say he was giving his virginity to Top…and even if they did slept together, it was TWO years ago. And now Ray knows Boston took pictures of RayMew kissing each other…gawd, Boston just sounded delusional during that whole scene.

In whatever case, the damage is done. And we see Sand guarding his heart again, despite Ray genuinely trying (for the first time) communicating by stating “If there is something you want to know, ask me, I’ll answer them.” Unfortunately, Sand is weary and it didn’t help Ray kept saying they were just friends each time someone asked what their relationship are (cause you know, Ray is a disaster muffin who won’t know he is in a relationship eventhough he basically did couply things with Sand). Urghhh…my heart just breaks for them 😭😩😫…and to end the episode with Sand shedding a tear and feeling alone (despite Ray lying next to him)…I don’t think I can forgive Boston for breaking their newfound happiness.

Nick and Boston

Which brings me to the toxic relationship of these 2. We see Nick trying to become more like Top. He exercising regularly to shape up and dress more smartly to capture Boston’s interest. But urgh…Boston as usual, plays it enough to make Nick happy (and the poor boy, Boston paying attention to the changes and commenting it, Nick thinks these are all positive things).

We also see Boston stating to Nick he wants to stop sleeping around (really?? When hell freezes over) because one of his conquest took video/photos of them together and Boston having to threaten said conquest to delete the incriminating footage (if that is not foreshadowing of what may happen to Boston in the future, I’m not sure what is. Also, Nick still has the recording of TopBoston….)

But what truly devastated me was when Boston spewing all the nonsense to SandRay that led to the massive fight between Ray and Boston; Ray warned Nick about Boston’s callous and selfish nature, and Nick just resignedly acknowledged it, fully aware he is too in love with Boston, and can’t seem to find a way out of it.

I’m sorry, but I can’t see any redeemable qualities in Boston 😭😭😭 (I love you, Neo and your acting in this series, 👌 - but urgh, Boston makes my blood boils)

Top and Mew

I can’t pinpoint it exactly but there is something not quite right with their relationship. On one hand, Top is sweet and attentive to Mew (I can see why Mew fell in love with Top). But twice now in this episode, 2 strange men stared (and smiled almost creepily at Top - with both time Mew clocking it? But not really addressing it). And Top genuinely doesn’t seem to be aware of the staring itself (or are we meant to think it’s all in Mew’s head? And it’s just Mew being insecure? 🧐🤨. I mean Mew did warn Top in the first episode he can become obsessive). I also do not believe one bit Top has given up on his drug habits plus his side eyeing Boston while shading both Boston and Ray in front of Mew (albeit subtly), is he slowly trying to manipulate Mew and isolate Mew from his group of friends?)

Nonetheless, Mew and Top did fall in love (or at least we are led to believe they are in love) and well, Top popped Mew’s cherry. What I cannot fathom is WHY Mew called Boston (of all people) to tell him the news. I can understand why he didn’t call Ray (so that he doesn’t rub on Ray’s unrequited love), but why not Cheum? Who from the get go rooted for TopMew. I’m not sure whether Mew has an ulterior motive or he genuinely thinks Boston will be happy for them as one of his bestie. Either way, Boston is NOT a happy camper (as we are aware) and took it out on SandRay newly found happiness.

Ray, Mew, Namchuem, Boston

Now more than ever, we are seeing cracks in their friendship. Ray and Boston don’t seem to get along without Namchuem and Mew. Ray and Mew (for obvious reasons) are probably talking the bare minimum with each other (and the fact that Top clocked on Mew and Namchuen basically doing the bulk of their hostel project tells you something). I feel the most sorry for Namchuen who has to deal with 3 sorry excuses of boys (cause let’s be honest, all 3 are disastrous in different ways)

Anyway, as usual, each episode makes my head spin and this is just me trying to figure out what’s happening. The preview from episode 6 seems wild with Mew’s birthday and Mew punching Ray? Oh dear…it’s going to be more heartbreak 😩😫😣…but onward and forward, is it Saturday yet?

09/09/2023

[stardustjie]

𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚊𝚛𝚢 𝚙𝚑𝚒𝚕𝚘𝚜𝚘𝚙𝚑𝚢

oh, this one took a lot. i apologise for the wait, it was quite a busy month. i'm not even that proud of this drabble if i must be honest, but i hope you like it anyway ♡ there might be some mistakes, but thank you for being patient

buying books and reading books are two different hobbies, but very few things could give the reassurance to have every title in your "to be read" list already bought and patiently waiting on the shelf. when you would read said book was a mystery for everyone, you included, but it was there for when the time will come. there was this feeling of comfort, knowing you didn’t have to buy it and you just had to wait for the right moment in your life to actually enjoy the reading. this might seem a bit strange, but you are lucky your girlfriend understands your literary philosophy. except she had a whole library in her home.

the first time she mentioned it, you thought she was joking. you were talking about your favourite book again, illustrating all the characers and the specific things you enjoyed. at some point she said the word library, but you didnt really pay attention to it. until she finally invited you in her home and with the most natural expression she showed you the biggest collection of physical books you have ever seen with your own eyes. you realized oftentimes your girlfriend didnt need to endure the bother to buy those books, rather than to find them.

now you are in the same library, with lara explaining how she bought the book you are holding in your hands so carefully. you lightly touch the title, gently. you are scared the littlest mistake will ruin it despite the other girl reassured you its not that fragile. you haven't been together for a lot, her stories are so new and interesting. you could listen to her for hours until she got bored. lara was telling you about one of her expeditions, how she found this little market stall in iraq a few months before.

"how do you manage to remember which one you have and which one you dont?" you ask at some point. your girlfriend watched you with curiosity, doe eyes wide open, and giggles. apparently she has list of them. everytime she is interested in a new book she looks for the title in a list she has on her personal tablet to see if its already in there. every title is in alphabetical order under its group genre. lara wasn’t as organizza and one would think, but she tooks her library quite seriously.

"its easier than it seems," she explains "its just a matter of habit and willpower. also, most of those books arent really my own. they are my father's or my ancestors' i think." but you were still suprised. you were still used to her little apartment in with the paper on the wall in front of her desk and books on the ground. now she is telling you she spendt her first week in the manor taking care of the library (and her other stuff, but that's not the important part).

"of course, if you see anything you like just take it. i dont mind" lara says and in your head it definitely sounds like a marriage proposal. you could hear the bells already. she probably notices your heart-eyes and giggles a little. you spend the rest of the day with her in thr library, talking about the numerous editions and books you could find and learning about the ones she used to read when she was little and her favourite characers. you are delighted when she explains her interpretation of enjolras and grantaire and lara listened carefully to your there about that duology you are reading.

you never thought you would be like this, talking for hours with your girlfriend surrounded by the biggest collection of books you have ever seen. sometimes she moved her hands a little bit to highlight a concept, other times she quickly showed you the paragraphs she was referring to. you really could listen to her until sunset came, the passion in her voice was addicting.

and you didn’t even know next time ahe was going to show you the art room yet.

[seidenbros]

hi ❤ may I request a fic where the reader goes 😳 everytime they see eddie's lips and one day he can't help but ask why they keep looking at him (in a teasing way)?

Hello love! Sorry that it took a while to get this done, and even now, it's rather short, because I'm down with a cold (so I hope this makes sense and isn't messed up due to my drugged up brain). It got a little suggestive, more than I thought it would, but I hope this is kinda what you were picturing 💚

Requests are open | prompt lists for inspiration | Stranger Things Masterlist

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Reader Word count: 1334 Warning/Tags: slightly suggestive, fluff, eddie being a tease (let me know if I missed anything)

Lips Like Honey

It was bad, really bad, but you couldn’t keep your mind from wandering, couldn’t even say when this had started, but at one point, your eyes had landed on Eddie’s lips when you’d been sitting at the table in the cafeteria and you’d wondered what they would feel like on your own lips, on your skin. You’d quickly shaken your head to get that idea out of your head, cheeks burning with embarrassment, because this was nothing you should think about someone who was your friend - and Eddie was your friend, wasn’t he? A couple of weeks ago, he’d asked you to sit with them, since you’d realised that you liked the same stuff, that you were in great company with the boys of Hellfire, and it had proven to be the best decision. Ever since then, you’d been looking forward to your lunch breaks, and to the Club meetings that you were allowed to join to get to know the game.

“You can join us for the next campaign, you know? Make your own character.” Eddie pulled you from your thoughts, your eyes landing on his lips again, which they tended to do even more when he was speaking. Your own lips opened, but closed again, while you slowly looked up at him like he’d just caught you doing something illegal.

“We’ll definitely help you!” Dustin said before Eddie could say what had been on the tip of his tongue. Probably for the better, because he didn’t really want to embarrass you in front of the others, but he’d definitely noticed you staring at his lips again and again, and it made him curious. Especially because you tried to hide it all the time, because you always got so flustered after you’d stared at his lips probably a moment too long. He’d also noticed you squirming in your seat, but ever since he’d noticed, he hadn’t caught you alone.

“Yeah… sounds good,” you managed to say, giving Dustin a faint smile, before you concentrated on your sandwich. That way you didn’t have to look up at Eddie again, whose eyes were boring into you.

Even in class, you began daydreaming when he was there. He didn’t even say anything in class, but he focused on scribbling something down in his notebook - probably lyrics that just came to his mind - or started to draw something, but you couldn’t see what. Because your eyes were glued to his lips again, to the way the tip of his tongue was sticking out. Something he always did when he was concentrating on something.

You cursed yourself for your vivid imagination, because the pictures in your head immediately made you squirm in your seat. You were lucky that your teacher was so focused on delivering his speech, because you wouldn’t have realised if he’d talked to you in that moment. Because in your head, you were somewhere private, Eddie’s lips moving all over your body. Normally, these thoughts were reserved for your dreams that always left you frustrated, because Eddie was nowhere near when you woke up.

“Y/N? Hey, can you hear me?” Eddie snapped his fingers in front of your face, which made you jump a little, hand on your chest to calm your racing heart. You quickly glanced around only to see that everyone except for you two had already filed out of the room because the lesson was over. “You alright? You kinda zoned out there for a bit.” He couldn’t hide the smirk on his lips, because he’d caught you staring again. And you were doing it now as well, only for a moment, before you caught yourself and scrambled up to put your books in your bag and get going.

“Yeah, fine. Just…” You wet your suddenly dry lips with your tongue trying to come up with an explanation. “Just a lot on my mind.”

“You sure that’s it?” Eddie leaned back against his table, arms crossed over his chest, while he kept looking at you like he just caught you doing… what you’d been doing.

“Yeah… yep. See you later!” Nearly tripping over your own feet, you made it out of the room and down the hall, because you just needed to get away. Away from him, away from school to hopefully get a grip.

It probably helped that you didn’t see Eddie until the next Hellfire Club meeting for the end of the current campaign. You’d promised that you’d be there, and you really thought you’d be alright. The meetings were always so lively, so energetic that you had to follow, that your attention was drawn away from Eddie, even though you loved listening to him, and watching him talk. But it was better for you to get that distraction. What you hadn’t expected, though, was that Eddie was in the room alone by the time you arrived. You were usually the last one to get there, and so you’d thought it would be the same right now as well. But it was just the two of you.

“Where is everyone?” you asked, putting your bag down next to your usual spot next to Eddie, because you had the perfect overview from there, and it would have been weird if you’d chosen a different spot today.

“They’re running a bit late as it seems.”

“All of them?���

“Don’t ask me, I’m the one who is already here,” he said with a smirk, because he’d told everyone that they would start half an hour later except for you. Because he’d realised that you’d been keeping your distance, even avoiding him, after you hadn’t spent your lunch breaks with them. He had a pretty good idea what this was about, but he had to find out, had to make sure, and therefore, he wanted to be alone with you.

“So, I haven’t seen you in the last couple of days. Everything alright? You sleep well?” Eddie inched closer to you, leaning over to put his face even closer to yours. “Have any nice dreams?”

His voice dropped lower, and when you cast your eyes downward to his lips, you could see that lopsided smile that made you swallow. You were glad that you were seated right now, because that voice mixed with that look did things to you, that you didn’t want to say out loud.

“So tell me… why do you always look at my lips?”

His words made you hold your breath. You’d been way too obvious for your own good, and you’d had a feeling that he’d caught up with that, but that he asked you about it now, made you wish that the floor beneath you would open up and swallow you whole. At least until he kept talking.

“Been thinking about what they could do?” He leaned even closer now, his lips brushing against your cheek, while his hand landed on you thigh for leverage. “How they would feel on your skin?” He’d seen right through you, and you couldn’t suppress a whimper when his lips made contact with the shell of your ear. “Because I’d gladly show you. Been thinking about this as well.”

“Eddie…” you whispered, but it came out more like a moan. That sound made Eddie’s grip on your thigh tighten, and he pulled back a little.“Just say the word and we can make these thoughts reality.” Now, his eyes were lingering on your lips, waiting for you to say something, but before you could do that, the door opened, making you both pull back when the others filed into the room. Your heart was still racing in your chest, and Eddie’s look told you that he was still waiting for an answer - and he’d get that answer once you finished that campaign, knowing that it would be torture for Eddie. But after weeks of dreaming about him, of torturing yourself, it was only fair that he got to suffer a little before you yelled yes from the top of your lungs.

Tag-list: @violetpenguinkris @tellhound @ghosttownwherenoonegoes @spideyanakin-interacts @bellamy-barnes @beepisbeep @snapefiction @hardysbitch @give-em-hellfire @sadbitchfangirl @ravenclawkimmi @lacrymosa-24 @ruinedbythehobbit @samlealea @hacker-ghost @kirsteng42 @princesseddie @anaisweird @harringtonfan4 

Let me know (send me a message) if you want to be on one of my tag-lists. I have one for the Promises Series, Eddie x Reader, Steddie and Steve x Reader 💚

[dark-elf-writes]

I’ll just resend the whole list :)))

Au Tag List:

* Song of the Sea AU: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/song%20of%20the%20sea%20au/chrono

* Timeloop AU: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/timeloop%20au/chrono

- note:some earlier ones aren’t showing, but thats bc earlier it was tagged as #time loop au instead of #timeloop au

* Symbol of Safety AU: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/symbol%20of%20safety%20au/chrono

* Hatake Clan AU: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/hatake%20clan%20au/chrono

- Note: Some Hatake Clan lore is untagged and can be found separately by searching…

- “I wanted to share this Kakashi AU in fic format”

- “The image of the Hatake’s walking through a field”.

- “I decided to rewrite and expand on some things :))”

- “The Hatake were not always as they are”.

- “Kakashi is so goddamn stressed out he turns his ancestors hair gray”

- Idk if these were meant to be untagged but I included it anyway:

- “The rest of the pack just watching/scoring”

- “TOXIC PAKKUN”

- “They meet up with Guy all the time to swap the stories”

- “Pakkun is a crotchety old man trapped in the body of a pug”

- “Tsume: They really need to do something”

- I hear what you’re saying but what it sounds like is Kakashi basically Jack O posing to box with a fucking pug

- Pakkun would find it more insulting if he didn’t look so hilarious doing it

* Venomous Naruto: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/venomous%20naruto/chrono

* Naruto Uzumaki Protection Squad: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/naruto%20uzumaki%20protection%20squad/chrono

- Note: first 2 post are not tagged; can both be found by searching “slacker squad”.

- Additional note: second post is tagged #Naruto protection squad instead of #Naruto Uzumaki protection squad

* Shinobi Babysitter’s Club AU: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/Shinobi%20babysitter%E2%80%99s%20club%20au/chrono

- Note: The first post was a kakashi simp/appreciation ask from me but it could be added to the tag for full coverage since it sets the scene of the au. Can be found by searching “Aizawa energy”

* Kakashi’s Mom: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/Kakashi%E2%80%99s%20mom%20au/chrono

* Unnamed: there’s this kinda au we made with Naruto thinking the fourth hokage is boring and preferring Hashi or Tobi but it doesn’t have a tag. Screen shots included in next ask so u can just tag that

* Unnamed: Shikamaru finds out naruto is the son of the fourth hokage.

- Note: Second post can be found by searching “my tumblr keeps crashing” and the first by searching #brilliance.

- There is also 2 other people find out posts that can be found by searching “it happens in the middle of class” and “Are there just no pictures of the Fourth Hokage other than the whole mountain thing”

* Unnamed: another orochimaru time travel. Less of an au and more of a prompt. Post can be found under #Oro-Sasuke is redefining emotionally repressed

* Tree of Youth: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/tree%20of%20youth%20au/chrono

* Color Blind Naruto: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/color%20blind%20naruto/chrono

* Ohana AU: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/ohana%20au/chrono

- Some posts are untagged so you can find them by searching:

- “Both are amazing. I could see them doing both tbh”

- “I mean Naruto is definitely his own level of Too Much”

* Foxy Naru: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/foxy%20naru/chrono

- I included post can be found by searching “Give me night shine and predator instincts”

* Vigilante Deku: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/vigilante%20deku/chrono

- Note: I included post can be found by searching “They’re honestly thankful for their mask so he can’t see how flustered they are”

* Hunter Au: https://dark-elf-writes.tumblr.com/tagged/hunter%20au/chrono

- First post can be found by searching “Supernatural but MHA”

Everytime you send me one of these I am so thankful and also a reason o fix… some of them. Brain stinky and doesn’t want to hunt for all of them rn.

Fixed:

Hunter AU

Naruto Uzumaki Protection Squad AU

Timeloop AU

[drawthething]

Headcanon questions! What kind of hobbies would the Pesto boys get into together? Have they ever tried cooking together? What would the perfect Saturday look like for them?

Hope you don't mind but I tried to combine the answers to these questions into a hc list, pffffft:

• So there was a phase where Jimmy Jr tried so hard to get his lil bros into 80s dance movies, and every Saturday morning he put on something like "Footloose" and analysed the whole thing for the twins. Andy & Ollie never really understood what he said and kept getting distracted

J-ju just gave up eventually and begrudgingly put on one of those dumb kid shows so they can all watch it together instead (though he'd rather die than admit to them that he found those enjoyable)

• The twins looove drawing and Jimmy just asks to join in whenever he's bored. Andy & Ollie also drew like, a thousand portraits of their brother. Their versions look exactly the same everytime, but somehow, SOMEHOW J-ju is able to tell which one is Andy's and which one is Ollie's

And when Zeke comes over and sees two scribbling drawings in J-ju's room he's like "Oh yeah, they're my brothers' 😐 Ikr I look so dumb in those 🙄" (but he taped them on the wall next to his Red Hot Chili Pepper poster FOR A REASON)

• The boys fricking love watching their turtle doing like... literally anything. There are lazy weekend afternoons where they spend several hours doing so. Zeke also brings Leslie's turtle to their place all the time so they can have a little turtle race pfffft

Oooo and for them baby twins only? Every night they take a bloody ton of times whispering goodnights to Terry: "Andy and I love you, Terry." - "Okay, now my turn :D. Ollie and I love you, Terry." - "Wait let me say it again to him"

• Cooking... oooof that sounds like the most disastrous thing the boys could pull off together pffft. BUT occasionally when Pesto Sr forgets that he has children to feed and straight up leaves the house for the entire night (buttchin won parent of the year again 🥳!!) then uhhh, dinner for three, with undercooked pasta, microwaved leftover pizzas and omelette that is waaay too salty. They have some fun though, plus they get to eat on the couch ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

• Them boys have secret snacks parties in each other's room sometimes. And maybe J-ju loves his gum too much to consider sharing at times, but he knows he HAS to teach his brothers how to blow a perfect bubblegum (boy succeeded at it twice and already thought that he's an expert). So uhhh, yeah, they get the privilege :D

[not-so-rosyyy]

Your post the other day got me thinking and sparked my interest - I haven’t bought a manga in years. Do you have any recommendations, especially more current?

OMG! I love this topic.

okay, so i actually don’t know what genre you’re into with regards to manga, but judging from your other interests, i’d say you’re into Shonen/ Fantasy/ Action/ Historical

some of these you might have already heard about, but these really are my favorite from recent years, and they're all excellent:

1. Attack on Titan - set in a post-apocalyptic world where the last of humanity are stuck inside a gated community surrounded by what they call The Walls because there are man-eating giants outside to get them. this is like the Game of Thrones of manga, in that it's like super dark, gritty and harrowing. lots of mysteries and conspiracies and real-world parallels with social issues that plague us today. the early volumes are especially top-notch. everytime i read this, i'm like "humanity is shit" but also somehow i still want to root for us lol. i cried a lot here.

2. One Punch Man - about a depressed and bored superhero facing an existential crisis because he's become so strong he can defeat any (and i mean ANY) monster and villain with just one punch. lmao sounds ridiculous but that's the point because it's really a satirical look into the superhero genre. it subverts a lot of your expectations into that kind of narrative because it directly exposes tropes. really funny (like, the main character treats average things like budgeting and groceries as his biggest problems like the rest of us), but also action-packed and the main plot and mystery just gets better and better over time.

3. Akatsuki No Yona - well, this one isn't a shonen because the main character here is a woman and romance is a huge part of the story. BUT it is not the driving force of the plot. it's really more about politics, leadership, adventure, etc. the lore is really rich, too, imo. and Yona (the MC) is one of the most inspiring female characters i've ever encountered in manga. this is the story of how she, a once sheltered princess in a once "peaceful" kingdom, had to escape the palace after the emperor got murdered during a mutiny. on the run from her enemies, she soon learned that the world outside the palace is far from the idyllic place she once thought, and from her dealings with the common people, found her strength and grew to be a great leader in her own right all while trying to stop the ongoing war and take back the kingdom from her foes. (it's a very I JUST LOVE WHEN WOMEN! type of story)

4. My Hero Academia - this one I think is the most typical shonen story in this list (you know, the very untalented and weak protagonist who grew to be the most powerful one by sheer willpower coupled with a heart of gold). but it executes the genre's tropes and cliches really well, me thinks, and that's why it's wildly popular today. it's set in a world where having "quirks" or superpowers are common, and yet Midoriya (the MC) doesn't have one...even though his dream is to be the greatest superhero like his idol All Might. long story short, they meet and All Might, after seeing how Midoriya possesses the most important quality of a hero, passes his quirk onto him. and thus starts Midoriya's journey of proving that he deserves that power and living up to his idol's name. also cried a lot reading this. (lmao notice the pattern)

5. Kingdom - this is like...one of my most favorite mangas i've ever read. i'd say it's up there with One Piece as one of the best in the shonen genre. the main story is a fictionalized account of the Warring States period of China and it's told mainly from the POV of a young and poor war orphan who joined the military and rose to be one of its greatest generals. if you're into history, philosophy, politics, battlefield strategies and tactics--i couldn't recommend this manga enough. the characterization and story progression are A++. lots of epic moments and speeches that made me shiver and cry buckets. and it constantly ups the stakes and introduces allies you'll love and enemies you'll come to respect. (also...i love the female characters here.)

***sorry for this long ass answer you didn't ask for btw lmao***

[pwblogarchive]

September 2007

September 11, 2007

“folie a duex”

sometimes the planets align

sometimes they dont

its like how part of my childhood was stolen when they took planetary status away from pluto

well be there one day

honestly i dont mind you saying fuck you to me-

when you included the "horse you rode in on"

it kind of went to hell

i am sick- like i cant ever get enough sleep or time or words

as this thing grows i become more and more insecure.

cant look anyone in the eyes-

i am paranoid- worried sick that i am not good enough for anyone who looks at me

i know how ridiculous this sounds

trust me

the new video makes me feel the big black sadness

folie a deux is the idea of shared madness- the scientific term for romeo and juliet

i have a feeling that we share that with eachother when you have your headphones on

currently working on: taking it easy-

dont mean to be so heavy just want you to know why i look so gray sometimes lately.

September 14, 2007

after the pornstar john holmes career deflated he turned to showing up at LAX and stealing peoples bags off of the conveyor belt.

i watched someone do this to me at the airport today.

i am obsessed with the change that can turn in the world.

that is what our new video is about.

why was every question about 'how bad is britneys performance gonna be' and not about anything that truly matters in this world.

sometimes the message is more important than the art.

later on we will release a remixed version that includes more of our personal experience in africa.

for now i am content to see the love between these two and the way the civil war that rages around them affects it.

its hard to imagine that they are just like the kids that show up at our shows, only born in a different country...

vintage louis vuitton bags under the eyes

the marlbo-glow

i need him more than he needs me, he needs her more than he needs me and so on.

theres nothing new under the sun

but were reading on existentialism in the shade.

i am so in love with YOU and the idea of YOU listeing to the music and singing the words.

i know its weird but i like to imagine what you are thinking when its playing.

if it werent for that i am not sure where i would turn.

i guess this is another halfhearted thank you. just because you keep tuning in.

"dont you think its insane how donald duck never wears pants?"

life is better when youre around.

but yes i do think its insane.

September 22, 2007

eyes the size of the moon.

iron and wine "the trapeze swinger"

Posted by xoat 1:35 AM

September 26, 2007

isnt it ironic how "ironic" has no ironies in it

havent slept in days.

think i am starting to crack.

my room is thrashed, covered in matter that doesn't matter and i almost cried while watching garden state- i think its not funny anymore.

sick of watching what genius is.

sometimes genius is being completely ordinary.

when i look up at the sky i want to eat the stars.

its daylight again, everything goes back to being boring.

nothing too much to say. just gonna watch the world spin this

Posted by xoat 1:17 AM

September 28, 2007

i dont know if has been apparent or not but in the past year or so i have become so insecure its insane. it blows my mind everytime i leave the house i feel weird. strange. i feel like everything i do ruins something of my friends or my band or the songs i love. i feel like i am constantly on the defense, like i have to work so hard just to make people not hate me that i am not even myself. i havent been able to look the front row of the crowd in the eyes and hide in the back most of the time because i am so insecure with myself.

but for some reason tonight that all changed. the show tonight i connected. i felt the electricity. the light came back on. it felt so good. thank you to all that were there.

sorry. not trying to be a downer or a "poor me" kind of thing, its just been a weird adventure. it feels good to plug back in. this journal entry was one i wrote a year ago this week when i think i was pretty sure id die at age 27 (glad i didnt):

"i couldnt stay away.

the words are obsession and always have been.

heartache lite. diet love.

i am a catch and release boy.

kind of.

put summer in a pine box.

i went to sleep in june and woke up in the middle of september.

making out on stretchers, getting some in the back of an ambulance.

my hips are dry docked.

love is incidental.

the best verus the rest.

'they wipe their feet on our dreams'.

ive got 27 years hiding in the smile wrinkles of my eyes. the real ones and the fake ones take up the same space in the skin.

noone gives a fuck about eyes that are always leaking.

besides youre just hushing headboards that are always creaking.

its become apparent that there may be no one thinking of you the way i do at this very moment.

were "out of the woods"

but i am in love with the tree i used to lie under.

eyes green with envy or brown and full of shit.

or somewhere in between.

i want this to be a remix of our nighttimes."

the smiles lately have all been real. except sometimes its hard to smile when theres a camera in your fae and your just trying to get through the day. gonna try to fuck up less. nothing poetic about it: maybe things are about to get better, maybe theyre gonna get darker. i am in love with everything that is broken and sometimes i like it that whats broken is in love with me. forever kids are magnets for eachother.

anyway, finally got the chance to catch up on my insomnia and read a bunch of your letters. they keep my head straight when i get it cloudy. thanks for sticking it out with me- not like as some guy on a stage- but as an honest connection. it means alot.

ok back to being negative and pouty.

sleep tight or have a good day.

[glassartpeasants]

That ending was a stab on the heart from beginning to end I'm gonna steal bob 🏃🏾‍♀️

The One That Got Away

Shigaraki x GN!Reader

Warnings: Angst, cheating, death

A/N: Don’t threaten Bob

~~~

The bed felt different after that night.

2 months ago you had caught Shigaraki cheating on you with someone random woman. You stood in the doorway just watching, trying to find the words to say but nothing came out. It’s only when you dropped your groceries and your present to him is when he noticed your presence.

*flashback*

“Shit! (Y/N) it’s not what it looks like-” He tripped over his words. You said nothing as you just looked at him, knowing that no matter how much you loved him that there was nothing that could ever make you forget this.

“Fuck just say something!” You were still silent as you dropped the groceries you were holding. It just wasn’t clicking for you. How could he do this to you? what had you done wrong?

“What did I do wrong?” Your voice seemed to echo throughout the room. Nobody said anything. Until she spoke up.

“Oh my god, Im so sorry! I didn’t know he was taken! Please forgive me.” The girl spoke as she jumped outta bed and started putting her clothes on.

“It’s okay. I forgive you.” Those words spilled from your mouth before you could actually say anything you meant. The girl had hugged you before saying she was so sorry a final time. Flipping off Shiggy on the way out.

“(Y/N)...i promise we can talk about this.” You just kept looking at him. Those eyes seemed to burn into his soul. He doesn’t think you noticed the tears spilling from your eyes. He was about to say something to you but you started to walk towards him. Thinking he was gonna get hit he just stood still before feeling your part of the bed dip.

He turns around to see you laying there, eyes still open with tears rushing down your face, your clothes of the day still on your body.

Shigaraki tried to put his arms around you but you had hit his hands back. and used your feet to push him to the edge of the bed while you laid clung to the wall.

*flashback over*

Thinking back on it you don’t know why you didn’t just walk away. Maybe you were to tired from being busy and running errands for him all day? Did you want it to be a bad dream and hope to walk up to realize nothing ever happened? Whatever the reason was, you weren’t sure but a part of you wishes that you left that night.

Now you sit at the bar, sitting far away from what use to be your boyfriend, not even taking a glimpse of him and he knew it. You just sat in the corner drinking and looking on your phone until a familiar smell approached you. 

“Oh hey Dabi.”

“Hey there (Y/N), why aren’t you hanging out with crusty over there? He keeps staring at you and the tension in here could be cut with a knife. It’s been two months and apparently everyone said i should ask what's going on.”

“Im not going near him at the moment. We’re on a break per say.” this seemed to peak Dabi’s interest as he leaned closer.

“Oh? Did crusty do something?  Your secret's safe with me, i swear on my soul.” What did it matter if you told Dabi? He already doesn’t respect Shigaraki so why not, plus, so what if that fuck didn’t want anyone knowing, he shouldn’t have cheated when everyone else was sleeping in the base.

“Don’t tell anyone I told you but, 2 months ago I caught Shigaraki cheating on me...” You felt small tears prickle the corner of your eyes. Bringing your hand up to your face you rub it away, hoping to ignore the pain that was banging against your chest.

“What a dick, wanna make him pay?” You look up at Dabi who had a huge grin on his face. You thought about it for a good few seconds before shaking each others hand.

“Once Shigaraki goes out on that mission today, we’ll talk more.” Dabi said before getting up from his seat and grabbing a drink from the bar.

You didn’t know what Dabi had planned but you hoped it would bring Shigaraki the same pain you felt that fateful night 2 months ago.

~~~

You sat on the ground in Dabi’s room as he paced back in forth, coming up with revenge plans. All of them sucked or ended up with you guys might going to Jail.

“New plan, everytime Shigaraki wants to hang out tell him you had plans with me and leave the room. You can go somewhere and i’ll go somewhere with you. Effectively ditching him.” Thinking, you try to come up with all the pros and cons this proposal Dabi shared with you. But soon your hurt over ruled the logical side of you and you agreed to it not a moment later.

“Great! Now all we need is for Shigaraki to ask to hang out with you. Don’t know how long that’ll take though...”

“I usually ignore him after what happened but sometimes he asks to hang out with me whenever its a slow day at the base or if he’s bored.”

“ Well guess we have to wait tell then huh?” Nodding your head, you get up before putting a thumbs up in his direction. You walked out of his room and see Shigaraki sitting at the bar. He must have finished his mission early. You rolled your eyes before sitting on the other side of the bar counter. You could feel shigaraki look at you through father.

“Hey....”

“.....”

“Look im sorry, a-and i know that doesn’t excuse what I did but please-” You got up before he could finishing his sentence as you walked towards your shared bedroom. Going in there use to give you comfort but now everytime you step into that room you see that fateful night over and over again.

You sat on the bed before hearing Shigaraki’s footsteps coming towards the room. Furrowing your brows, you ignore him as you put your shoes on. You needed a little bit of fresh air so you were planning on going to the local park to relax a bit. You weren’t a villain like the rest of them, you were just a simple civilian. Not that you minded really. It was peaceful not fearing for your life everyday and having the fear of failure not on your shoulders.

You didn’t really have a quirk so you just ignored the questions when people asked you if you had one. 

“Can I talk to you?” You were dragged back to reality when Shigaraki’s voice rang through your ears. Annoyed you just answered hoping that the conversation would be short. 

“What do you want?” You voice was snappy and you could feel the venom dripping from it.

“I understand that your mad. And you have every right to be but your not even giving me a chance to redeem myself and-”

“Redeem yourself? Why the hell would I do that? YOU cheated on ME. LIke hell im gonna forgive you so easily.”

“It’s been two months! What happened was in the past!”

“It was in the past my ass. How would you like it to see your lover in bed with another?!”

“I-”

“I felt like my soul died that day. I thought I was your only one! Only to find out that you slept with her! Was she a one time thing or were there more hookups?!” You stood up from the bed as your fists turned white and your anger slowly erupting.

“.....”

“TELL ME DAMNIT!”

“Three...there were three different occasions...” Now the tears were kicking in. You were hoping that it wasn’t true. What if there was more and he was only saying three just to ease your heart?

“Why? Why would you do this to me? What did I do to deserve this?” Your questions were like knives stabbing into Shigaraki’s heart. He wanted to tell you the truth, but he didn’t want your heart to hurt more than it already was.

“Im not going to ask again Shigaraki. You either tell me the truth or I will walk out of this base and never come back.”

“The...the first time it was a drunk accident, the second time Dabi had brought her to the base and one thing led to another. The last one was the same as the second one.”

“Did...did Dabi know about the affair?” You were begging, no pleading for him not to have known. You didn’t know if your heart could take it.

“Yes...” That was it. That was the thing that broke you. Walking up to Shigaraki you pushed past him before flipping him off and saying one final line.

“I would rather die that ever be with you again.” And with that, you left the hideout. You speed walked through the alleys to get to you parked your car. Your friends house was pretty far and you didn’t feel like walking in the dead of night were criminal activity was more active. 

Getting in your car, you turn on the radio and start breaking down. Your tears were blurring your eyesight as you put the car in drive. 

The streets weren’t busy except for the occasion car with some college students. Or drunk people walking along the sidewalk. The sound of the radio blasting songs that were supposed to be happy barley brightened up your mood as you drove down the dark highways.

All of a sudden a bright light hit your eyes from the right side. Some fuck must have had their brights on. But you had the right away so you went. All of a sudden a huge crash rang through your ears and the world became dark.

~~~

A ring came from Shigaraki’s phone. Looking at the clock he noticed it to be 2am. Annoyed he just decided to answer it.

“Hello, this is (hospital name). You were listed under a emergency contact for (Y/N) (L/N).” Shigaraki jolted awake as his hands reached his neck, standing up and already begun to pace the floor of his room.

“Yes did something happen?!”

“At 12am tonight miss (Y/N) was in a car crash. A hit and run to be exact. Their car was totalled after it rolled about 3 times from the speed that the driver hit them. A bystander of the accident called 119. They were in need of surgery immediately once paramedics noticed that they were crushed and bleeding out quickly due to a shard of glass that was stabbed in their chest.”

“Are they okay?!” The doctor on the other end went silent.

“Im deeply sorry for your lost sir. They died during surgery trying to remove the glass that was lodged in their skin. The police are on the look for the suspect. if you wish to see them were on (blank street). Once again, im sorry for your loss. Goodnight sir.” The phone went silent as the doctor hung up. 

Everything seemed to stop as the feared villain feel to his knees. Tears fell from his eyes as his body shook. He realized that now it was impossible to even try. And the last words you had ever said were ‘ you’d rather die than ever be with him again.’ Crying into his hands as his tears made a puddle on the floor.

I guess you took your words seriously.

[scarasimplysimping]

Run Away

Scaramouche x GNReader

Sypnosis: Scaramouche remembers the time you invited him to elope with you.

Angst?

How young you both were. Naive, impulsive, and reckless. You both wouldn't last a day on your own. Scaramouche was sure to have made the right choice in rejecting you. At least, this is what he tells himself to ease the budding regret at the back of his head.

It was so vivid. The dark haired boy tried not to think about it; He really did yet he always found his thoughts trailing back to that night in his free time. It would've been a beautiful memory had it's circumstances not been so tragic.

The midnight before he became a harbringer, Scaramouche was perched on the terrace of his home with his head resting on his palm, counting the stars with a displeased and bored look.

"Scaramouche, Scaramouche, let down your hair!" The soon-to-be harbringer hears your voice from below.

His whole form perked up instantly as he ran to the railings of the terrace and sure enough, you were down there, grinning ever so mischievously.

"Quiet, you moron! Someone will hear you!" He shouts back, attempting to sound uninterested but the small curve at the corner of his lips gave away his true emotions.

You stare up at his form, illuminated by the moon. How majestic and alluring. Careful now, it would be embarrassing if he caught you drooling over him in his pajamas.

Gathering your thoughts, you start to climb your way to him. Scaramouche could only look at you with an amused expression.

"I have a ladder y,know." He says nonchalantly.

"Is it for climbing when you want to kiss me? Cause... Yknow. You're short." You joke, not bothering to look up knowing he was probably glaring holes into you by now.

"I am tempted to throw it at you sometimes."

One last step and you were sat on the railings, your faces, inches away from each other. Neither of you dare say a word that could ruin the moment for a few seconds. Perhaps both of you were trying to engrave this somewhat romantic scene into your vault of memories.

Something about his pretty purple eyes drew you in so you take this opportunity to steal a quick kiss from his lips.

Scaramouche feels the heat rising to his cheeks as he huffs in surprise. Trying to find words but ultimately failing.

"So... sixth harbringer, huh?" You start as you leap off from the railings and land closer to him.

He takes a step back to regain his composure. Going back to the bored expression he had earlier. It was clear that he didn't want to talk about this.

"Yes. Well, would you suggest someone more worthy for the title than I?" Scaramouche says rhetorically in an arrogant tone.

"Do you want it though?" You ask, leaning on the railings, with your back facing him.

You couldn't see him but you could tell he hesitated to answer. And that one split second of hesitation was enough for you to muster up your courage.

"Run away with me." You say sternly, turning to him again so you could take in his expression.

Scaramouche feels his heart beating faster in his chest, he's almost afraid you might hear it.

He chuckles nervously in response, not sure if you were joking or being serious. "Don't be stupid. You can't just waltz your way out of here."

You shake your head, glad that he was actually considering it. "Just say the word. I promise you I'll handle everything."

So you weren't joking. Still, Scaramouche wouldn't follow through with something so ridiculous and unprepared. "We've never even set foot outside of Snezhnaya."

You continue to press. "I've read enough books. Seen enough maps. We'll work it out!"

Your eyes glow with eagerness and hope, Scaramouche could almost feel himself falling more in love with you more than he already was... not almost. He actually was.

The dark haired boy starts to contemplate more on the idea of starting a whole new life with you.

"We could travel all across Teyvat." He says subconsciously.

You interlace your fingers with his, thinking you both were really gonna do this.

"Maybe settle down in Monstadt." You suggest.

"The city of freedom." He adds, locking eyes with you.

"Just a normal couple doing normal couple things." You smile, and in turn that makes him smile.

Scaramouche lays his head on your shoulder. Thinking about the beautiful future you both could have together, worrying not of combat training or fatui business. Growing old, maybe even having children, then grandchildren. Dreams of an amazing future together.

But dreams remain dreams.

You both snap out of it when you hear a knock at the door.

All of the sudden, you're back to reality and he still was gonna become a harbringer tomorrow and you're still going to lose him.

"Sir, the Tsaritsa would like to have a word." The voice at the other side of the door calls. A fatui agent.

You find a place to hide for a bit as he rudely shoos off the poor man.

Once the uninvited guest was gone, you give him a sneaky back-hug, with the hopes that the plans were still on.

"I can't." Scaramouche says in a defeated tone.

You're eyebrows furrow, slowly you let go of him. "Of course you can! Just pack a few bags and we'll be off before dusk."

"No. No one has ever went against the Tsaritsa's will and lived to tell the tale." Scaramouche states.

"You won't be going against her! Just moving away from her." You try convincing him in a shaky voice.

"No. (Y/N), listen to me. Even if we did leave we have nothing to feed ourselves. No money, no family, no authority-"

"Authority? Is that why you want to stay so bad? Because of your little power fantasy?" You retorted, later regretting it as you see the hurt in his face.

The expression quickly turns into anger. "How dare you even accuse me of that. Who do you think you are!?"

"Well I thought I was your lover."

You both stare each other down as the room's atmosphere grows heavier.

It pained him to fight with you and fights were never this serious. And Scaramouche was scared that one more persuasive sentence from you would cause him to give in, follow his heart, sweep you of your feet, and be on your way to springvale by tomorrow.

So he said what he thought he had to say, "Lover? You're just a fling. Give me a break. You're a fool if you really thought whatever we had was going anywhere." It broke his heart to lie but Scaramouche was great at hiding his sadness, or rather, disguising it with anger.

After all, you continuing to be with him as he was a harbringer would put your life in peril. He was doing the right thing... but then why did it feel so wrong?

You feel tears running down your cheeks but you still refused to believe him. How well you could see through him. Or so you hope. "You're lying."

He turns his back to you for fear of his own tears giving him away.

Scaramouche lets out a forced groan. Out of desperation, he lists things he hates about you. Personal things he didn't actually hate but had to pretend he hated. His voice laced with venom and anger, not towards you but rather the Fatui, the Tsaritsa, even the whole of Snezhnaya and it's damn snow for putting the both of you in this situation.

"-I hate that you think you can read me. I hate it when you try acting all lovey dovey with me it's disgusting. And I hate you for making me want to just kiss you right now and forget about everything but us." He lets the last part slip.

Silence

Scaramouche turns to you. You're not there. Not anymore.

Filled with regret, he runs to the railings and tries to search for you but not a trace. Not a damn trace of you and it seems you took his heart with you too.

That was the last time he saw you. Scaramouche can't help but sigh sharply everytime he recalls that night. But he treasures it. He treasures every moment he spent with you and promised to himself that when all of this is over, he will find you again and you'll finally run away, hand in hand.

[bakacentipede]

KAEDEHARA KAZUHA X READER (AU)

part 1

Just A KAZUHA FLUFF CAUSE I LOVE HIM TOO MUCH.

Kaedehara Kazuha, the way his presence feels, it's contradicting because although it feels like a soft spring breeze that makes me smile to myself but at the same time it's almost as terrifying, no wait- it's as intimidating as the grey sky preparing to rain and ruining the plans I make once in a thousand years.

His platinum blonde hair with a crimson strand is always tied up in a messy ponytail, framing His face perfectly, making his features look even softer.

His eyes look so beautiful everytime he tries to focus, its cute.

I hate literature ngl even though I love reading poetries and writing and stuff but literature class has no RIGHT TO BE THIS BORING, well I can always admire Kazuha, I promise I'm not a creep, i just really like him.

For some reason everytime I'm in Literature, i always feel like someone's staring at me but when I look around ITS LITERALLY NO ONE. I can't be just dreaming. Don't tell me someone thinks of me as I think of Kazuha-

nevermind, I need to stay humble.

It's Friday today, and I'm heading towards my literature class right now THANKFULLY it's our last class for the day and I can't wait to see Kazuha!! I just hope the professor doesn't ruin it all by giving us assignments-

I walk into the empty class not checking if someone's there rambling about how much I hate this class and that's when I hear someone say, "Why do you dislike this class,y/n?"

-oh hell nah, he knows my name????????

"...oh kazuha- i just find it boring that's all" I kindly smiled at the blonde haired boy.

He furrowed his eyebrows confused as to ask me why I'd find something so interesting, so boring. Putting my bag on my desk, I turn to him, "Don't get me wrong, I love literature as a subject, that's why i chose to study it" I paused to think what to say next "well maybe it's just the professor."

He giggled as shook his head in agreement, "I won't deny that, he does make it sound boring"

-I've never seen him laugh, he's beautiful.

"Mr. Bradley needs some caffeine in his system" I continued as we both laughed at my VERY lame joke, oh God why did you not give me the ability to hold a conversation without being lame???

Class was filling up slowly as other students came in along with our professor, as much as i hated it, we bid our goodbyes and went back to our assigned seats.

"Students, i have something special for you today" Mr Bradley,our professor stated.

please no assignments, please pleassssseeee

Mr. Bradley continued in a lazy tone, "I'm giving out this assignment which you have to complete this weekend and present it on Monday, no excuses"

oh hell no

The class was filled with the sounds of unsatisfied students not wanting to work on the project.

"there's a good news though" Professor tried really hard to sound enthusiastic but failed miserably, "you'll be working in a group of two!!! isn't it lovely students?"

"please no its not" I muttered under my breath.

uh oh someone's staring again

ignore the feeling y/n and focus in the class you dimwit.

Everyone started to look at eachother's bestfriend to partner up but Mr. Bradley had something else in mind.

"Silence class, you cannot pair with anyone of your choice, i have made the groups myself and I will not be hearing any complaints, understood?" Mr. Bradley made himself clear as he distributed the list that had the assigned groups in it.

I patiently went through the list trying to find my name, too lazy to even care.

Group S

Y/F/N (Your full name) x Kaedehara Kazuha

wait what-

I looked twice just to check I wasn't seeing things, I turned around with wide eyes to look at where he was sitting and much to my surprise he was looking at me too.

okay-

He gave me a toothy grin and mouthed, "see you after class" and all I could do was nod.

I KNOW IM OVERREACTING but I've liked him for two years now and today for the first time I actually had a conversation with him AND NOW IM EVEN PARTNERED UP WITH HIM!???

I don't even know how to react but as much as working on a project sucks, atleast I'll get to spend time with Kazuha.

The sound of the bell ringing filled the corridors signaling its time to go home, and I'm gonna shit myself, because KAEDEHARA KAZUHA IS COMING TOWARDS ME????

I hate to say it but I'm a simp, this man has me swooped. Need to act tough-

"Hey y/n, so we're gonna be working together this weekend." He smiled, a hint of hesitation in his eyes. I looked at him "You don't have to worry, I can even do it myself... if partnering up with me makes you any uncomfortable.

I smiled, I'm trying really hard to not make it awkward but I guess I'm making things worse????

"oh no its not like that" he said, nervously "I'm used to doing things by myself and it's the first time I've ever been in a group project. But I'm glad i got to partner up with you and no one else-"

oh?

his eyes widened as he panicked, " Oh dear me, what I meant was that-"

I cut him off, "I get what you mean, please don't worry." I assured him with a smile.

he sighed, a gentle laugh leaving his mouth, "shall we walk to the gates together? we can't just stay inside the classroom."

We continued walking together, not really saying anything. it wasn't uncomfortable but it was slightly nerve-racking for me cause you know-

"oh by the way, where can we work on the project?" he questioned as he broke down the silence.

oh no I totally forgot about that-

"we could work at my place" I suggested "since there wouldn't be anyone to bother us because my family left the town yesterday to visit our relatives and will be staying there over the weekend."

what am i doing I sound so idk horny?

He seemed to think about it for a minute, "You know what that's actually wonderful, my house is a bit loud and going to a Cafe might not make us feel comfortable enough" he said, shyly.

I smiled at the thoughts of him and me being alone, OFCOURSE FOR THE ASSIGNMENT.

"Oh can I get your number? so you could send me your address." Kazuha said politely and oh my god-

IM GONNA HAVE HIS NUMBER?????

"sure" i smiled as I typed away my number on his phone and saved his number on mine too and texted him my address.

"it's better to start today, I think? The assignment seems like it might take alot of time." i stated genuinely, feeling extremely shy with the thought of him being in my room nak-

nvm.

"yes that's better, I'll come by your place at 4:00 pm with the materials, is that okay?" he asked turning his head away to hide his embarrassment.

SIR MARRY MY RIGHT NOW.

I smiled and nodded and replied with a soft yes.

We reached our University's gates, and turned to look at eachother.

"See you soon" we said at the same.

"JINX" I screamed and he just looked at me wide eyed for a second and then laughed as he threw his head back, "well well y/n, goodbye, see you later." He waved as he started walking the other way.

"BYE BYE" I said back

Turning around to walk his opposite direction, with thousands of thoughts in my head and the sound of his giggles and laughter filled my head OH LORD HAVE MERCY I CAN'T IT'S TOO MUCH TO PROCESS!!!!

anywayyyyyyyyy

sigh

it's definitely going to be a long day today.

.

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED PART ONE, THE STORY WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE SO LONG BUT I JUST KEPT ON WRITING!!

THE NEXT CHAPTER MIGHT HAVE SMUT IN IT- (ง'̀-'́)ง

I REALLY ENJOYED WRITING THIS PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF YOU LIKED IT OR NOT! Please send in requests too!!!

REBLOGS ARE APPRECIATED!

（‐＾▽＾‐）

-centipede samaᕙ(`▽´)ᕗ

[imaslutforremusandsirius]

You always get what you want part 3

Part one    

Part two

Part four

The next part will be the fourth and last of the series, with Wolfstar x James x Reader ;) (i‘m ashamed to publish it, it‘s literal porn jfc)

Warning: 18+

Pairing: Wolfstar only

Enjoy besties

---

“What if he doesn’t like me like that?”, Sirius whined, worrying his bottom lip with his teeth. 

You gave him a look, voice flat. “Sirius, he sucked you off.”

Sirius ignored you and kept rambling.

“What if it was just a thing between mates? Like a peace offering, because he fucked you and felt bad so he sucked me off?”

You groaned and fell back on your matress, bored of Sirius’ constant worrying. 

Sirius was convinced that Remus didn’t actually want to fuck him and just did it so he could fuck you again. And you were sick of it. Everybody could see that Remus was mental about Sirius. You needed to put an end to this madness and hook your boyfriend up with his best mate. The thought made you laugh slightly and you turned on your belly, looking at Sirius with a calm expression.

“Do you trust me love?”

“‘Course I trust you!”

“Then I want you to calm down and not worry your pretty head, okay? I got it from here.” 

Sirius leaned forward to pull you on his chest, grey eyes looking into yours questioningly, “You really don’t mind me being with Moony? I won’t do it if it makes you uncomfortable.” His tone was earnest, saying everything with complete honesty. 

“Sirius, darling, I want you to do whatever makes you happy, okay? I love you. Besides I fucked him first, so you’re getting sloppy seconds.”

“Fuck you!”, his giggled between the soft pecks you kept pressing on his lips, “I love you too..”

---

“Remmy, wait up!”, you jogged in his direction, grabbing his shoulder from behind.

“Hey, what’s up?”

“Uh, we need to talk. It’s about Sirius..”

He shot you an alarmed look. “What happend? Is he hurt? Did some-”

“Calm down, he’s fine! Can we talk in your room?”

“Okay, yeah, let’s go..”

Shutting the door behind you, both of you sat down and you looked at Remus, amusement glinting in your eyes.

“Sooo...You fancy my boyfriend, right?”

Remus chocked on his spit, cheeks blushing as he looked at his hands. 

“Why did you have to say boyfriend, now I sound like a complete prat..”

You giggled taking his hand in yours, resting them on your lap. You gave a qentle squeeze, willing him to look at you. His gaze was open and vulnerable, begging you not to judge him. Your eyes softend as you understood just how much he liked Sirius, but was scared about ruining your friendship.

“Remus, I’m gonna tell you what I told Sirius this morning. I see how much you like each other and I want you to be happy. I’m not mad and I’m not jealous.”

“Look, I’m really sorry, I never wanted to get between you, but he’s just so..so..”

“Beautiful, brilliant, kind, hot...”, your said, tone light.

“Yeah, he’s just so Sirius..you know? I don’t know how it happend. Merlin I’m sitting here gushing about your boyfriend..”, he let out, voice tight. “I’m sorry.”

“I swear on my dead hamsters grave..”, he let out a shocked laugh, making you giggle as you kept promising, “..that I want this for the both of you as well.”

He was grinning now, the confident Remus that you knew finally making his way back to the surface. 

“You promise?”

“Yes! I promise.”

He let out a breath, shoulders slumping with relief. “Thank you darling, you don’t know how much this means to me. Is there anything, and I mean anything, that I can do for you?”

“Please just fuck him good, he’s been talking about your cock for days now. Do you know how pissed he was that he fell asleep before he could touch you?”

“Oh is he now? Don’t worry, I’ll fuck him good.”

You smiled devilishly, “You promise?”

“Fuck, yes I promise”, Remus chuckled.

---

Remus acted as if nothing happend and wouldn’t react to Sirius’ nervous glances. Secretly he was enjoying his squirming, pleased that he had such an effect on his crush. Sirius was trying to get Remus’ attention, by being extra loud and annoying. He was mocking his brother Regulus more than usually, levitating food with James’ help to annoy Lily, kissing you with garlic breath to make you laugh or flirted with Professor McGonagall. You had warned Remus about this, said that Sirius would do absolutely anything to get a rise out of him, so he would be able to find out if Remus fancied him or not. You kept your mouth shut firmly, telling Sirius that it’s a matter between mates, you had to hold back your laughter so hard, and that you wouldn’t mingle in their business. 

So here he was, making a fool of himself to get his Moonys reaction. Anything for his Moony, right? 

Remus knew that Sirius was shameless and an absolute brat at times, which is why he chose to sit still and enjoy his food, not once looking into Sirius’ pretty, desperate eyes. 

“James”, you started, glancing furtively at Sirius, “me and the girls want to organize a surprise party for Professor McGonagall and we need your help as headboy. It’ll take a few hours, but you’ll help right?” Lily was looking up as well now and James immediately sat upright in his seat, clearing his throat. “For Minnie? ‘Course I’ll help!” Everybody knew that he wanted to because it was headboy duties, which meant headgirl duties as well, which meant Lily and that meant alone-time with Lily. You gave a satisfied smile as Remus looked at you from under his lashes, a smirk playing on his lips. 

“Remus, I want you and Sirius to buy the things I gave you a list about, okay? Take your time, I know it’s a lot.” 

“Sure thing, we got it. Right Padfoot?”

Sirius perked up as well, nodding his head so fast, you feared he’ll get a concussion. Finally, Remus had paid him attention. 

“Yes! Yes, Moony and I will buy only the best for our Minnie!”

You grinned and gave him a kiss, as Remus looked down again, smirking in amusement.

“Great!”

---

“Moony, come on, you never take this long. We need to get going, the list isn’t getting any shorter.”, Sirius moaned.

The hall was empty now, only the two boys left, because Remus was taking his sweet time eating everything on the table. 

“Sirius”, Remus drawled, looking at the boy from under his lashes, “we don’t have to buy anything..”

Sirius tilted his head to the side, confused. “What? But you said it yourself!”

“Your girlfriend said that you wanted me to fuck you?” Remus was leaning back in his chair now, legs spread dominantly taking up space, sweater rolled up his forearms, exposing muscular and scarred skin. His gaze was intense, pinning Sirius, a slight, mocking smile on his lips.

Sirius gaped at him, rendered speechless for the first time in his life. 

“If I had know that you are so desperate to have me, I would have touched you ages ago. Fucked you senseless, while you had to keep your pretty mouth shut, so no one would hear. Made you cum, over and over again. Made you suck me off like a good puppy.”

Remus kept eye-contact, relishing in the way he made Sirius blush. Sirius, actually blushed! 

“Moony...” His voice was raspy, a needy whine in his tone.

Remus stood up and Sirius couldn‘t take his eyes off of him. If Remus would tell him to strip right here in the great hall, he would. But Remus isn‘t that evil. Least no yet. 

„I have a gift for you in our dorm, c‘mon puppy“, Sirius melted at the pet name and took Remus‘ outstretched hand.

„Is that gift your cock?“, Sirius crooned, playing with Remus’ fingers. 

Remus snorted, „M’gonna let you be a brat. Fuck it out of you later.“

Sirius blushed, again!

Remus pushed open the door and gestured to Sirius‘ bed, telling him to open his present. It was an early birthday gift, something he could only give him in private without it being suspicious.

Sirius went over and took a look at the simple black box, opening it. Inside was a thin, elegant gold chain with a small round pendant. His intitials engraved in the front, in beautiful cursive handwriting. S.O.B.

Sirius‘ breath hitched as he took the collar out, turning around to glance at Remus who was watching him, small smile on his lips.

„Moony“, Sirius said, voice barley above a whisper, „this is the most beautiful gift I‘ve ever recieved.“

Remus‘ smile got wider at that comment and he took the collar, putting it around Sirius‘ delicate neck.

Remus leaned down, lips brushing against his ear as he spoke, voice deep and thick with arousal, „I‘m the only one who can take it off. It‘s charmed. And everytime I touch the pendant on the backside, the initials change to my name, when you touch it they turn back into yours.“ To prove it, he flipped the pendant over to place his thumb on the back, and Sirius watched as the initials changed into R.J.L.

Sirius was speechless, looking at his pendant in the mirror. He swirled around, hooking his arms around Remus‘ neck, pushing himself up on his toes to kiss the boy. Remus chuckled, „I take it you like your gift?“

„Like?! I fucking love it, Merlin, Moony...“, he gasped, „Please touch it again, want your name on me.“

Remus groaned as he touched the pendant again, digging his hands under Sirius‘ thighs and lifting him against the mirror.

Remus pulled back slightly to take Sirius‘ hair out of its bun and tangled his hand in the soft, black hair. Sirius groand impatiently as Remus slowly lowered him on the bed.

„Fuck, Moony please, just touch me already.“

„Patience, puppy..“, Remus trailed of, „You‘ve waited for so long, surely you can wait a few more minutes.“

Sirius whined pressing his hips up against Remus‘, but Remus gripped them tight and pressed him down, giving him a strict glare.

„Sirius...“, his tone hard, „don‘t be greedy now, puppy. You want to cum, don‘t you? Want me to touch you?“

„M‘sorry, I‘ll be good promise, just wanna see you Moony..“, Sirius said softly, a longing expression on his face. Fuck, he had waited so long for this.

Remus softend, leaning down to kiss his neck, breathing in Sirius‘ scent. He took the smaller boys wrists and pressed his lips there, nipping at the thin skin, leaving small bruises. Sirius sat up slightly, taking his shirt off as Remus lightly scratched his nails on his sides.

„Mmm, puppy look at you. Your skin is so pure I just wanna ruin it...“, Remus growled against his stomach, teeth brusing the skin.

„Fuck, Remus, more!“

Remus took in a sharp breath, eyes lifting to look at Sirius needily.

„Say that again. Say my name again.“

Sirius grinned, tugging Remus up by his hair and moaned against his lips. „Remus, Remus, Remus...“, his voice cut off, when Remus whined and kissed him hard. No longer was their pace slow and passionate, but hard and rushes.

„Sirius, if we do this now, I won‘t be able to hold back..“, Remus gasped against Sirius mouth, „so if you, fuck, if you want to stop, say it now!“

Remus felt the familiar push of his wolf in his body and pulled back, hands fisting the bedsheet next to Sirius head.

„Remus...“

Thats all Sirius needed to say before, Remus lost control, ripping his pants of, speading his legs.

„Look at your pretty cock, baby, so desperate for me, hm? You filthy puppy...“

Sirius writhed on the bed, careful to not move his hips. Remus noticed and gave him a cocky smirk.

„Learning are you. Good boy, you are Moonys good boy, aren‘t you?“

„Yes, Remus, m‘your good boy.“

Sirius shivered and bucked his hips up, Remus’ voice making him whine loudly. He was impossibly hard, cock steadily leaking precum over his flat stomach. He was so deeply engrossed in his pleasure, that he didn’t see Remus bending over his cock again. Remus blew hot air over the tip, making Sirius let out a strangled yell. Remus kept pressing him down and pressed soft kisses all over his cock, softly suckling at the cherry red tip.

"Remus, plea-", he interrupted his own words with a cry, because Remus had suddenly taken him all the way down to his base, sucking and pushing his tongue to the vein on the underside.

Sirius couldn‘t talk, the only thing escaping his lips were breathy whimpers and he spread his legs wider. Remus licked at his heavy balls and Sirius sobbed with pleasure.

"Yesyesyes, Moony, Remus, please!" Sirius was tembling so hard, Remus had to adjust his position, and sucked harder, swallowing his cock. The wet heat of Remus mouth made Sirius want to cum so bad.

„Gonna cum, ah please ah fu-", Remus lifted his face slightly, mouth full of cock and fucking winked at Sirius. That did it for the smaller boy and he came, shouting Remus‘ name, his nails leaving little crescents on Remus’ shoulders. Remus' mouth continued licking his cock lewdly, eyes on Sirius, before finally realising him with a pop.

Sirius looked so fucked out and Remus admired him for a moment, watching the golden necklace glint in the dim light.

Remus leaned up, murmuring against his boyfriends lips. „So beautiful when you cum, Pads. My beautiful boy, hm?“

Sirius smiled blissfully, looking at Remus through hooded eyes and repeated, „Your boy?“

Remus grinned at him, all sharp teeth and red cheeks, „Your collar says so, sweetheart.“

Sirius giggled, kissing Remus.

“On you knees, Sirius.”

Sirius instantly got on his knees, back arching gracefully and Remus spread his legs further. 

“Look at your pretty hole, baby, So pink and tight. Tell me what you want.”

Sirius pushed his ass back, pleadingly. “Remus please, I want you to fuck me. Wanna feel your cock, please.” Merlin, Remus was talking absolute filth. 

Remus groaned, biting at the skin on Sirius’ ass and inner thighs, leaving teeth marks all over his skin. Spreading his ass he spit on his tight hole, middle finger gently rubbing against the taunt muscle and pushing inside. Remus had to squeeze his cock in his fist, holding himself back from cumming, but god, Sirius was beautiful like this.

„Look at your greedy hole, baby, taking me in so well. Why are you crying, s‘not enough? Want something bigger?“

Sirius, pushed back greedly, „Want your cock, Rem, please..“

Remus added two more fingers, stretching Sirius‘ hole as he kissed his inner thighs softly. „My good little baby, hm? Hungry for my cock, Pads? Don‘t worry I‘ll give you my cock, nice and deep. M‘gonna fill you up with my cum..“

Sirius was in heaven, ready to cum from Remus‘ voice alone, fuck he could cum all day from listening to his lover.

Remus took his fingers out, stretching his palm towards Sirius. „Spit, baby.“

Sirius spit in his palm and Remus used it to lubricate his cock, before he slowly pushed into Sirius‘ tight, hot hole.

Sirius moaned, a high pitched sound, and had to anchor himself to the bad so he wouldn‘t fall on his face. Remus wasn‘t gentle, he‘d waited plenty already and kept thrusting, nails raking down Sirius back to leave his marks. Seeing Sirius covered with his bites and scratched made him even hornier and he fucked him harder, throwing his head back as he growled.

„Rem- ah fuck Rem, m‘gonna cum, ah again!“

„Yeah?“, Remus choked out breathlessly, „I don‘t think so. Hold it, slut.“

Sirius cried out, fisting the sheets tighter in his hands, his hole clenching and Remus whimpered out a „Sirius fuck!“

Reaching down Remus wrapped his hand around Sirius‘ silky hair, pulling him up against his chest and fucked him with everything he had. He was fucking and moaning and scratching all over his body, his hand on Sirius‘ cock.

„Sirius, m‘close fuck cum for me baby, go ahead, there we go..“

Sirius came with a shout, his cum all over Remus‘ hand and Remus thrust up one last time, before he came inside of Sirius.

Sirius couldn‘t talk let alone breathe and he fell back against Remus‘ chest, boneless and dizzy.

„M‘so full, Moony so full...“, he whimpered.

„Shh, I know puppy, you did so well. Moonys good little boy, hm?“

Sirius tilted his head back and Remus smeared his lips against flushed cheeks, continuously praising his boyfriend.

„Wanna try something, baby, get on you knees for me again.“

Sirius obeyed without hesitation and gasped when he felt something cold press against his hole. A plug.

„You darling little girlfriend let me borrow her plug..“, Remus said, smirking at Sirius‘ needy expression, „told me to use it on you.“

Sirius let out a moan when the toy was completely pushed inside and gave Remus a dirty smile.

„Remind me to fuck her good later, she deserves it.“

Remus grinned and kissed the bites along Sirius spine, making out softly, before they finally fell asleep, utterly fucked out.

Taglist:

@sunflowerdarlingx @shackleschains @maraudersangel  @amarabln 

@padfootswife 

[gildedmuse]

Hey, everyone.

So recently I've (predictably) very not well. Actually, whenever I don't post for long periods, just assume my body is trying to kill me. But I've gotten messages from three people asking if I. Okay, which is super sweet. I am actually trying to work on the next All Hearts, a really long ZoLaw post and two request fics, but mixing chronic kidney pain and capitalist society's mandate to work 40+ hours is not recommended.

But to prove I'm okay and still me, here is some Shanks antics with him being a total slut while Mihawk and Beckman just roll their eyes and go along with it. [Shout out to @jhaernyl who not only listens to me ramble about this stuff, but actively encourages it]. I also have many thoughts on the latest episodes and so many screenshots it's embarrassing. Hopefully, when I'm in less pain, I'll get around to actually posting those. Otherwise I just look like an insane person who literally takes by the second frame shots every time Zoro is on screen.

.... What is that? I look like that anyway? Fair.

Shanks Is A Bad Influence

It feels like Buggy and Shanks split up after Roger's death (the crew was told to, and they are the only ones who went to his execution) and I find it impossible to think Shanks didn't immediately set out and find a crew; like, pirating is the only thing this kid knows in life. This means two things:

He set out from East Blue. Also, he seemed at ease and familiar with the East so it's possible he spent like a year there getting everything together. Maybe he even played around in the other blues for a while before heading back to the Grand Line. I say this because his crew is from all over so either he found and recruited them in the Grand Line or visited various blues. Either way, I'm gonna say it took him about two years before getting a 'proper' start. In that case, he would have started out properly at the age of 17 and we know One Piece likes it's parallels.

That still puts Shanks at 17 to Benn Beckmen's 28. How the fuck did Shanks manage that? I'd call it grave robbing, but let's face it, the little tyke probably got up to some actual robbing of graves as well.

My point being everytime Shanks teases Mihawk about keeping this 19 year old kid on his personal island, mostly shirtless, Benn Beckmen just lifts an eyebrow.

Excuse me, captain, who had prefected the 'opps still don't have my sea legs' trip-and-fall into their first mates lap by the age of 17?

Shanks: Beckmen, you caught me! *Shamelessly nuzzles up* Thank goodness! I could be a devil's fruit user after all and - Ahh!

Benn: *Drops Shanks straight over the side of the ship into the water*

Shanks: *Sputtering* What what that!?

Benn: Checking to see if you had eaten a devil's fruit on us, Capatin.

Benn: You didn't.

Smart ass. But he can't resist Shanks forever. Shanks will wear him down eventually.

Next time Mihawk tracks him down for another match - because you know he gets bored way quicker than he'll ever admit and Shanks is at least amusing a challenge - Shanks makes a big deal out of how Mihawk follows him around, "accidentally" revealing they slept together, sighing about how it's so hard to resist him.

Benn Beckmen is just leaning against the side of the ship, sipping his booze.

Shanks: -and I can't stay for hours like last time!!

Mihawk: Are you quite done?

Shanks: *whispering* Does Benn look jealous?

Mihawk: He looks bored. Much like I am. Is this some strange attempt to get out of my challenge, Akagami?

Shanks: What? No, come on I told you I was game. But, hey, could you do me a favor? Maybe like try and kiss me or something? Like take a swing like your going to hit me but then stop shot and grab me by the waist instead.

Mihawk: .... Trickery is beneath you. Besides, you're absolute rubbish at it.

Shanks: Oh, come on, I would totally help you get laid if you asked!

Mihawk: .... *Sigh* I want a proper match afterwards.

Mihawk: *In a forced, monotone voice* After this I will take you to my lair and have my way with you, Akagami.

Mihawk: ... My lair? Really?

Shanks: *Holding up cue card with quickly scribbled line* What? That is how you talk.

Mihawk: I can't believe I wasted precious hours of light tracking you to this atrociously rural port.

Shanks: See? Now, read the next one.

Benn: Captain? If this is going to take all night, I am going to go join the rest of the men in the tavern.

Shanks: Huh? Wait! Benn! What if Miha really stabs me this time!?

Benn: *Salutes Shanks with his bottle* Sounds like that is his plan captain. Have a good 'challenge'.

Shanks: What? No... *Reaching out hand, like he might die if Benn leaves, looking completely devastated* Not even a little jealous...

Mihawk: You couldn't have thought that pantomime would actually work.

Shanks: Benny, don't leave me.... *Turns to Mihawk, immediately brightening* Oh, well, there's always tomorrow. Hey, Miha, guess whose free all night and horny as a pirate in the calm belt?

Mihawk: .... *Sigh* Very well.

Mihawk might as well get something for the trip he made. Although, he's reconsidering if the sex was actually worth the trouble after he ends up listening to Shanks worry half the night that Benn is shacking up with someone else (after a couple hours of rough and raw fucking, admittedly).

Is it the hat? He likes his captain's hat. Miha, you think his captain's hat is sexy, don't you?

Mihawk: It's utterly ridiculous.

Shanks: ....

Shanks: ....

Shanks: *Smile* Ahh, Miha, I knew you liked the hat!

Shanks: What do you old Northerns find sexy?

Mihawk: I am only four years older than you.

Mihawk: And silence.

Trying to convince Mihawk to go spy on Beckman for him. Shanks doesn't actually care if he does sleep with someone else, it's more that Beckman didn't immediately turn angry and jealous like Buggy would have that has him paranoid.

Mihawk is going to fuck this annoying red head again just to shut him up.

Mihawk: Maybe he doesn't like red haired boys who don't know when to be quiet?

The next morning Shanks is pacing among his poor crew that's gotten stuck listening to Shanks obsess about Beckman again. IS IT REALLY THE HAIR!?

It's not even a matter of Shanks's age (or obvious immaturity). I mean, Beckman got on board and stayed, didn't he? Beckman just enjoys watching Shanks try so hard to get his attention. Like Benn's attention isn't constantly on Shanks. He had to when his captain is always one step away from disaster.

He only left him with Mihawk because it was clear Dracule is not a real danger to Beckman's captain.

Except maybe insulting him to death. But Beckman is pretty sure Shanks can handle it. He's met Buggy. He's suspects Shanks LIKES it if anything.

It gets to the point where when they dock somewhere and see Mihawk waiting, or come back to the ship and spot his familiar silhouette, most of the crew goes off somewhere for another drink (sometimes the newer kids will stay to watch such an awesome fight, everyone else is like... Look, you'll have plenty of opportunities later. This is not a one off.)

Benn just takes a look around, nods to Mihawk (a silent signal for, "he's all yours, do with him as you please, if anything happens to him I will track you down and make sure your last few hours on this blue world are as painful as humanly possible") and heads off.

Oh, it's just the Hawk boy.

That's fine then.

Benn use to be a sailor on a trade ship between the North, East, West and Grand Line. He's seen it all.

They called him The Gun Slinger BEFORE he joined Shanks's crew and became a pirate.

So this young, broke ass kid from the streets of some near artic northern island trying to pass himself off as a Lower North rich type has a thing for his captain? Not really enough to keep Beckman up at night, no matter how good at swords he's supposed to be

Besides, he's pretty sure for the kid to keep tracking down Shanks, he must be bored out of his skull. He's not going to do anything to endanger their captain.

Not if Shanks is the only thing he can find to keep him entertained.

One day, Mihawk is going to be waiting on the dock when a bunch of Red Haired pirates are stumbling home, laughing and chattering amongst themselves (Shanks's crew always seems to be in a good mood). One of them will catch sight if Mihawk and walk by with a smile, patting him on the shoulder.

The captain's occupied. Seems likely he'll be 'occupied' for a good while, too.

Mihawk won't smile, but he will think "So you finally warmed him up to you, Akagami?" and snort lightly.

Poor Benn, though. Mihawk could never imagine being with someone so much younger than him. Shanks is only four years his junior and already it strains Mihawk to put up with his occasional moments of "youthful whimsy" (aka being an annoying, immature child)

"A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair"

Mihawk just putting that on his Not To Do List.

That lasted until Roronoa.

(Mihawk just looking at Zoro knowing this is bad news.)

Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*

*Cross out, scribbles*

*Hands back to Benn*

Do Not Do:

- A young, cocky pirate with strangely colored bright hair a silly hat, who is overly dramatic and in any way, shape or form related to Gol D Rogers.

Ace: Hey what's up?

Mihawk: *Takes list from Benn*

Go ahead, Benn, laugh it up. Mihawk is aware he has a type. Young, pretty, and utterly insane.

After that night where Shanks was otherwise 'occupied', it's over six months before Mihawk sees his friend his rival again. He is, as expected, far too smug and proud looking.

Shanks: Oh, Miha, so sorry you came all this way, I'm-

Benn: Well, I'm off, captain.

Shanks: What!? But we, you, I... Benn, hessoeexyarentyouworriedforyourcaptain?

Benn: *patting Mihawk on the shoulder* Have fun with him. Don't forget to return him by noon tomorrow, we have a schedule. Oh, but if you can babysit him for at least four hours? That would be great.

Shanks: BABYSIT!?

Mihawk: I suppose I can be troubled to do so.

Shanks: TROUBLED!?

Benn: Thanks, Hawkeyes. I owe you.

Shanks: *Fake tears clinging to his lashes* You two are so mean!

No, don't feel bad for him. Shanks is just trying to guilt the two of them into bed at the same time, and they both know it.

Thanks no thanks, they're not into that. But Shanks can be pretty cute when he's trying so hard (Benn) and at least he's not as boring as everything else in this world (Mihawk) so they allow him to keep up the act

Shanks: *looking at Zoro's wanted poster over Mihawk's shoulder* But I feel like you'd gladly go to bed with him and his captain if he asked. That doesn't seem fair to me. You'd never go that far with me and Benn.

Mihawk: *Eyes Benn*

Mihawk: *DEAD. ONLY.*

Mihawk: I have my reasons.

They can and do agree on plenty of things, including reciprocally not being that attracted to each other.

Shanks: Sounds fake to me

Shanks: But guys!

Shanks: This isn't about you

He's gonna need you guys to drop the egos and focus on what HE wants. I.E., being in the middle of two sexy Northern men.

Honestly, so mean to poor Shanks!

[nocturnal-dreams]

Mayhaps... some gender neutral streamer reader x BBH? Couple a wholesome lads just vibin'

==============================

Of course beautiful anon :)

==============================

My Muffin :)

==============================

Pairing: BadBoyHalo x GN!Reader

Warnings: fluffy

I’m glad that people love Bad as much as I do :) Also AntFrost just being that supportive friend we all need in this because yes!

=============================

=============================

“Let me go give Bad a little kiss.”

You said happily in your stream, crounching your character and moving forward towards an afk Bad, pretending to give him a kiss. Bad had to leave his stream for a bit to go let Rat go outside to do her business, he had asked you to entertain his stream for him while he goes. 

You sat back in your chair spinning around waiting for Bad to return, occasionally talking with your chat and thanking donations. You didn’t expect to get this bored without Bad’s company but you had anyway.

Before you had announced your relationship Bad, fans had always speculating that you two had been more than friends. It was damn impossible to hide the relationship between you two. The plan between you two at first was to wait at these three months, just to make sure you guys were gonna last before you got the fans hopes up. 

The only issue with that was that three months into your relationship, Bad had been at your apartment more than he was home. Which you loved. However, since you were primarily a streamer and Bad was not exactly good at being quiet... people were naturally gonna notice, especially since Bad’s voice was such a noticable noise. 

The following list of things happening in your streams that had started to give away the relationship:

1. A bark coming from your kitchen, your fans knowing damn well that you didn’t own a dog but that Bad did

2. You saying that you were cold and a hoodie would be thrown at you out of nowhere

3. Someone that would come into your office out of frame and give you a muffin

4. Everytime you would leave the stream to go to the bathroom, someone would be talking to you in the background, barely audible but still audible if you listened hard enough

5. And lastly, just the flirting you’d do with Bad on stream just to hear the boy stutter and get all flustered

Your fans were certain it was Bad. The voice they heard was way too familiar to be anyone else and Bad had been hinting at dating someone on his streams with Skeppy. So they knew you were together. They just needed you to actually announce it.

You loved to annoy the fans that were on Bad’s streams too, occasionally just walking right into his stream, completely ignoring all the fans questions about your relationship with Bad. Ruffling Bad’s hair until kissing him on the head and leaving him to stream.

=============================

Eventually you were playing Among Us with Bad. Dream, Corpse Husband, Wilbur, Nihachu, Sykkuno, Rae, Ant, and Toast. You guys were all currently arguing over who had killed Rae, all the evidence pointing towards Wilbur who had been stuttering and laughing, unable to find a story for himself so he had gotten voted off. 

Wilbur Soot was the Imposter

“Seriously Wilbur? One round, you couldn’t even last one round,” you laughed outloud, even Niki couldn’t help but laugh at the foolishness of her friend.

You all went mute for the next round, waiting for the second imposter to out themselves or finish all your tasks. You smiled crossing your legs in your chair as you thanked another donation, reading the comment below, “where is Rat? Oh Rat is probably with Bad in his office, she’s always prefered him over me, rightfully so though I think, I mean Bad is great.”

You smiled looking at the monitor as you were struggling to do the card swipe, either going to fast or too slow.

Another emercency meeting was called, this time by Ant who started going on about seeing Dream vent with little to no evidence backing him up, Toast defending Dream by saying that he watched Dream scan in medbay.

Not wanting to take any risks, Ant was kicked out.

Ant was not an Imposter

“Dang it,” you bit your lip, you had literally no clue who could be the imposter and somehow Corpse and Sykkuno were dead and no one had found their bodies. Before you muted your mic, you quickly caught Bad’s attention, “Bad meet me in medbay, we should stick together, I don’t trust Dream.”

Bad let out a small laugh, his angelic laugh flustered you, your chat going crazy watching your reaction. “Don’t worry, if things get too rough I got your back, BadBoyHalo will protect you.” That laugh sent shivers down your spine as you melted in your seat.

Round after round you admired Bad, just getting to play with him made you all happy inside. Getting to walk up to his character and pretend to place a little kiss to his cheek. But as the game finally ended and everyone slowly left the chat only Ant, Bad, and yourself remained. You had nearly forgotten to exit the discord chat when you hear your name brought up. “Anthony… can I tell you something? It’s about Y/N.”

Ant sounded a little surprised but continued. “Yea. Of course, you can.”

“I’m just so happy that you introduced us, like I’m already a really happy guy but with Y/N I feel like I just can’t stop smiling.” You had to cover your mouth as you listened so that you didn’t let any happy sounds out. Your finger hit the mute button as you let out a squeal. Of course Bad always said this stuff to you, especially after streams or when you guys would walking Rat outside and he’d just start going on about how much he loves you but for some reason, just getting to hear him say all this without knowing you’re there just makes you want to squeal.

Ant had looked down at his discord and had noticed your bubble still being in the chat, but as he tried to catch his attention he was ignored. “Bad… uh... “

“I love them,” Bad smiled just looking mindlessly at his monitor, “like I can’t see myself dating anyone else. I’ve actually been saving up money for a little something, I just wanted to know that it was all cool with you, y’know, you being their best friend and all.”

Finally Bad stopped talking and Ant let out a sigh, “you do sound like you love them, I’ve never seen them so happy, I’ve only ever wanted the best for them. And I’m sure they’ll say yes if you’re planning what I believe you are.”

Bad chuckled nervously again. “Are you sure that they’d say yes?”

Bad laughter grew louder as he replied. “Why don’t you just answer him Y/N?” Bad’s laughter stopped as he looked down at his phone to see your bubble in the chat still.

You slowly cleared your throat and unmuted yourself. “I’m sorry. I should have told you that I was still in here, but I wanted to hear what you had to say.”

Ant hated that he had to interrupt, but he replied quickly and saw his way out. “I tried to tell you before you even started talking, but you didn’t hear me. Have fun, you crazy kids.”

You laughed hearing Ant leave, Bad still being silent on his side. You quieted down, “Bad?” You heard Bad hum a response on the other line, “it’s a yes from me.”

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Thanks for reading! Don’t forget to like and maybe even repost as it really does help me :)

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