#ew family shite

[sunkeeperxiv]

FFXIV Write 06 - Halcyon

Timeframe: post-6.0 (spoilers: no aspects of EW plot are discussed or addressed, this is purely family fluff. 5.0 is mentioned briefly and in almost no detail.)

Recuperating after the events of EW, Daca'li enjoys a somewhat quiet morning with his niece Linna.

The woods of Dravania were peaceful at dawn, just as the dawns in Coerthas had been — or, at least, they would have been peaceful, were it not for the yells and laughter of the kits enjoying their playtime before bed. Daca’li had no such surplus of energy, however: he was leaning up against the woodpile at the back of the house, utterly exhausted by the day’s work.

He heard the door at the back of the house open and felt the wood he was leaning against shift. Opening one eye revealed Linna, more likely come to check on the kits than on him. “Watching the kits with your eyes closed, now, are you?” she asked, but her smile was light. She sat down next to him on the ground, sighing as she leaned back against the wood. Her attention was on the kits now, watching the four of them through half-lidded eyes.

“We used to run around like that,” Daca’li remarked. The group even looked faintly similar: Linna’s two, Linna’a and Melo joined by Daca’li and Tahl’s daughter Rubh, and Tahl’a, who was only Tahl’s. From what he could tell, Linna’a, the oldest, was the ringleader, although he and Rubh seemed to butt heads often.

“You still run around like that,” Linna responded, flicking at the fur on his tail playfully. “I need motivation. I only run if there’s prey to be chased.” She paused for a moment. “We didn’t stay this close to the homestead, either. We were always wanderin’ off.”

Daca’li hummed in agreement. “It’s because they’re listenin’ to your kit and not mine. Rubh’s a troublemaker like Khay was. She’d lead them all to Anyx Trine if we turned around to scratch our tails.”

Linna laughed, a bright peal against the brightening sky. “Khayta is the troublemaker, always leadin’ people who-knows-where?”

Levering himself up a bit against the wood, Daca’li held up a finger. “When we were kits, aye! We always listened to Khay, you and I only ever fought over stupid shite.”

“As if you’ve never led anyone anywhere ridiculous?”

“Not till we were grown!” A pang of guilt struck him and he looked away for a moment. “An’ I’m not wantin’ to drag anyone into any more ridiculous situations, either.”

Linna caught the change in his expression and leaned over slightly, just enough that he could feel the warmth and pressure of her shoulder against his. “Aye, well, you said it right. You’re grown and so are they. Y’didn’t make them go anywhere with you. And you all made it home.”

“Aye, home to enjoythe breeze in the trees,” Daca’li answered, turning his head away from the gaps in the treeline letting the first rays of dawn break through. “An’ all this soddin’ sunlight.”

Linna chuckled, holding a hand up to shade her own eyes. She felt the glare worse than he did. “I don’t know how you put up with runnin’ around in the daylight for so long. One trip into town and I’m tired and grumpy for nearly a week after.” She got up, brushing dust and bits of bark off her clothes. “What was that place you went where it was always day? That sounded maddening.”

“The First. It was nice. Once it had night again.”

“Well, I’m still not disappointed I didn’t get to visit it.” She stretched, opening her mouth in a sharp-toothed yawn before sliding neatly into an authoritative shout. “All o’ ye! You’re goin’ inside and washin’ yourselves and goin’ to bed!” There was a chorus of disappointed groans from the kits, and Linna tilted her head meaningfully toward the door. “I am squintin’ in the sunlight, it is bedtime.”

“I’m not squinting!” Rubh helpfully supplied. The slitted eyes Daca’li had inherited from his own sire had been passed down to her in turn. She spun around to face the sunlight filtering through the trees. “See?”

“We can’t see your face, kit. Don’t stare into the sun, either, it’s uncomfortable”, Daca’li called out. He hauled himself up off the woodpile, running his fingers through the fur of his tail to dislodge any debris from it. “Your aunt’s right, it’s bedtime.”

This was met with an assortment of replies: “If She’a’s a cousin why is Linna an aunt” from Rubh, “she’s not my aunt, can I stay out” from Tahl’a, “just go in, we’ll finish tomorrow,” from Linna’a. Only Melo had the foresight to cast a wary eye toward the back door before it flew open and Rashe’s long-practiced glare cast a spell of silence over the kits.

“Why are ye all shouting after sunup?” she asked, just enough of a growl in her voice to tamp down even the thought of actually replying. “Get in, get washed, get to bed.” All four of the kits quieted down and filed in, their chatter picking back up once they were actually inside. That accomplished, Rashe turned her head to Linna and Daca’li. She smiled briefly before turning to hold the door open for them.

“Still havin’ to chase after other people’s kits,” she remarked, tugging on Daca’li’s ear as he passed her. He opened his mouth to reply, but she cut him off with a finger pointed toward the bedrooms. “You were included in that. Clean up, get to bed. Don’t spend hours on your soddin’ tail. And my own kit too,” she added, looking at Linna. “Bed.”

They hesitated only for a brief embrace, bunting their heads up against Rashe’s, during which she grumbled but returned the gesture before pushing them gently away.

The beds were simple, but soft, and drifting up from the kits’ bedrooms a floor below he could hear them chattering amongst themselves, still wound up from their play. It wasn’t all quite the same as their home had been back in Coerthas.

It was close enough for comfort, though.

[isamijoo]

Lose

This is written for @gameofdrarry Exploding Snap 2021. My card is on ‘Fake Dating’:

Write a Drarry fic of 823-1149 words following this prompt: Harry agrees to pretend to date Draco to get Draco's father off his back.

Title: Lose

Author: isamijoo

Rating: T

Word Count: 1097

Tags: EWE, Post-Hogwarts, Auror Harry, Curse Breaker Draco

Thank you to @shigacajun for the beta!

READ ON AO3

When Harry reached the front door of Malfoy Manor and knocked, he expected to be greeted by a house-elf or, if he was lucky, Draco himself.

The last person he expected to open the door was Lucius Malfoy.

It had been seven years since the fall of Voldemort, but only six months since Lucius was released from Azkaban. His long hair fell like curtains around his face and his shoulders, his complexion sickly pallid. He glared at Harry like a hunter who is ready to pull the trigger on its prey, or cast the Killing Curse.

“Potter,” he drawled, skipping any meaningless greetings. “What intentions do you have with my son?”

Draco had foreseen this happening, so he had coached Harry on the fake backstory he had constructed, something ridiculous about them falling in love over cups of tea at the Ministry canteen. Harry found this story absurd for a number of reasons.

One, the Ministry canteen’s teas were shite.

Two, Harry had already been falling in love with Draco ever since they started working together — Harry as an Auror, Draco as a Curse-Breaker, for almost two years now. Nothing to do with tea.

Harry opened his mouth to answer, but stopped when Draco suddenly appeared behind Lucius. Draco greeted Harry with an excited “Hi!” and pushed through the narrow space between his father and the doorframe, forcing Lucius to step back with a grimace. Harry found that he enjoyed the look of scorn on the older man’s face.

Outside the manor gates and the wards, Draco smoothed back his short white-blond hair, glancing at the front door, where Lucius still stood, possibly glaring at them. "Where are we going?"

Harry shrugged. He wanted to touch Draco’s hair —it looked so silky— but he kept his hands in his jacket pockets. "Where do you want to go?"

Draco gaped, aghast. "You didn't make any reservations? Anywhere?"

"There are a couple of places I know where I don't require a reservation to get in. But I couldn't decide which one to take you."

"Is the Saviour going to flaunt his special privileges to get us a table?” said Draco incredulously, a hand over his chest. “For me?"

"Just for you, Malfoy,” Harry teased, holding out his arm.

Draco laughed as he linked his arm around Harry’s and they Disapparated.

///

Draco was indecisive, so Harry brought him to a fancy South East Asian Fusion restaurant, where they sat side-by-side in a booth filled with soft cushions.

"So,” Harry said in the middle of their meal, “what's up with your dad?"

"He wants to betroth me to Daphne's little sister," Draco answered while attempting to cut a piece of flatbread with a knife.

Harry vaguely remembered a Slytherin girl by that name in their year at Hogwarts.

"I told him I wasn't interested,” Draco continued, sighing. “But he wasn't having it. I… lost my temper and yelled that I'm a raging homosexual. That would be terribly unfair to the Greengrasses. When he asked whether I had a 'male lover', I knew if I had said no, he'd proceed with the engagement anyway. So I lied.”

Harry watched Draco closely, as he often did whenever they worked together. He couldn’t help himself; they were sitting so close together, the yellow lighting highlighting Draco’s sharp facial features, he looked stunning. “And I’m the first person that came to your mind?”

“I don’t know many people whose… inclinations,” Draco made a face, “align with mine. You’re the only openly bisexual wizard I know.”

“You don’t — I don’t know — go to gay clubs? Or something?”

Draco looked at him as though he couldn’t believe Harry could be so stupid. “No, Potter. I don’t frequent those kinds of establishments. I'm appalled that you would even suggest I partake in such activities.”

“Okay, I’m sorry!" Harry raised his left hand in surrender; he had been using his right hand to eat and he didn’t want drops of curry to fly around. “You’re posh. I get it. Old pureblood family and all that.”

“Yes,” Draco replied curtly, returning his attention to his meal. “I’m glad you understand.”

Harry watched in amusement as Draco, forehead creased in concentration, figured out how to eat roti canai using cutlery. He had refused to follow Harry’s example of using his hands and had declined his help. Harry could tell Draco enjoyed a puzzle, and this was another puzzle with which Draco had challenged himself.

“How long do we have to keep this up?” Harry asked later, when they were on their way back to the Apparition Point. “This fake dating?”

“I suppose until I find a real ‘male lover’.” Draco imitated Lucius when he said the last two words, unexpectedly making Harry laugh.

At Malfoy Manor’s front door, Draco thanked him for the meal. Before he could open the door, Harry took his hand and turned him around so that they faced each other.

“Do you think your dad is watching us right now?” Harry whispered.

Draco glanced around them. “Possibly. I wouldn’t put it past him to put surveillance charms around the manor. It’s definitely something he would do.”

Harry rubbed his thumb along Draco’s bony knuckles. “You want your dad off your back, right?”

“Yes,” Draco muttered, eyeing their clasped hands.

“Then I think we should kiss.”

Draco’s cheeks flushed adorably pink. “You think?”

“I want to,” Harry said clearly.

Draco had no witty comeback for that, only a slack jaw and wide eyes.

Harry stepped closer until their faces were only inches apart. “May I?”

Draco gazed at Harry’s lips, initially with longing, then with uncertainty and confusion. “This isn’t funny, Potter.”

“I’m being serious,” Harry countered gently, taking Draco’s other hand in his. “I would love to take you out on another date. A real one.”

“If we…” Draco left the words unspoken, licking his lips instead, “what would that make us?”

“Boyfriends? I don’t really care about labels, as long as—”

Harry had to swallow the rest of the sentence because Draco had lunged forwards and pressed his mouth against his. Pleasantly surprised, Harry quickly wrapped his arms around Draco’s waist while the blond held Harry's face. They tilted their heads so that they could deepen the kiss. Shivers shot down Harry’s spine when Draco moaned into his mouth.

They abruptly stopped when they heard a loud sound of glass breaking, followed by enraged screams.

“That sounds like my father.” Draco withdrew sheepishly. “I should get inside.”

Harry released him with great reluctance. “Good night, Draco.”

Draco smiled, effectively taking Harry’s breath away. “Good night, Harry.”

AO3

[boysl0vingboys]

EPISODE TEN THOUGHT PROCESS!! (alot of swearing!)

1/4

This is gonna hurt like a mother fcker

Ink x Paa in the recap.... hmmmm....

You two better learn how ot lie quick-

Did you just try to go back in the room?

Paa and Pat with the sibling signals

TELL HIM THE TRUTH!

NOT THAT ONE!

the father was too stunned to speak

Look at Pat smile!

garbage bin make their return!

Yes you are! so behave like adults!

HOLY SHITE HE ACTUALLY DID IT!

Save him? What he going to get shot too? Pretend it drown?

Stop acting cute! the neighbours have eyes!

nevermind, so does he!

And he does not give a shit!

Cuddling?

No, okay then?

Ohhhh, what is it? Something cute to do with them? PLEASE!

He tucked the doll in!

Is he activitely dodging people?

Time to test my theory I suppose...

Joke.... A person's name is Joke.... okay,

PRANINLOVE!!!!!!

Pran smile!

Pran's cockiness!

HEAD OVER HEELS!

fist bumps are now for the gays!

-what the hell are you eating? Is that a pancake?

Korn!!!!

Nooooo~ don't leave!

Tortilla?

YOU'RE BACK!!!

PAt arm so casually, like that!!!

Pran, you're nonan is showing-

did he just acccidentally hit him with the pancake?

Wai! Leave her alone!

I am with Korn-

Parn, you traitor!

Korn is the only true- Boy, your crush is showing.

INk! Of course it is Ink! You blind PANSEXUAL!!!!

Himbo boyfriends

Hello again, Don't snitch!

So, the family hate each other enough to lie together?... Interesting, but we knew that.

Look at those dimple

And their smiles,

The cannot even stand straight!

All gays eventually end up in a rainbow shirt, and here Pran is proving that fact.

2/4

Yes, ink did.

She is busy with her future wife.

Speaking of her future wife, look at the two of them!

Don't you to ruin this for us!

Pat and Pran, you fcking traitors!

ooooooh, ink don't like you.

ewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewwwwwwwwww yuck!

she isn't dating anyone, she is married!

Ink! Throw! Hands!

So, Wai has the group brain cell today, I see.

Huh? Answer?

Don't avoid that question!

Paa!

All gay eventually end up in a rainbow shirt

CHALLENGE HIM!

THATS MY HIMBO!

Last time you two looked for something together, Pat broke it, remember?

Baby photos?

Beauty Queen? Of what? Satan's cage?

But hopefully this means bisexual moms theory is a thing!

Quiet? He was just shot remember?

No goodbye kisses?

3/4

oooohhhhhhhhhhhh, their high school!

i love the fact he always wears the case!

FLASHBACKS!!!!!

he was always looking cause you were always in trouble... obviously!

you cannot convince me the teacher didn't predict this! look at her face when pat said that.

ew, yuck, no,

am I suppose to know these little ones?

nevermind, they're little pat and pran

liar, liar, pants on fire!

but look at their arms

shit is about to get real adorable and I am about to loose my mind, i do not apologize.

LOOK AT PAT's SMILE!

LOOK

AT

IT!!!!

AND HIS RUNNING!

100% Pran liked Pat first!

'girls look quite simialr' bro, really?

couple that suspect together stay together

...

they made it straight

i love this siblingship

SHE FINALLY ADMITED IT!

PAA and PRAN OUT HERE ENDING THE BLOODLINE

you basically telling your brother you have the same taste in women...

'... but the sister can.'

His face and laugh of not caring !

tellhertellhertellhertellhertellhertellher!

no, paa don;t get the wrong idea!!!!!

paa communicate! PLEASE!

aaaaand kiss!

or break my heart instead!

paa cannot cry, if paa cries, I will weep as well

AND PUT MY HEART BACK TOGETHER AGAIN ALL OVER WITH TAPE AND TOO MUCH LOVE!

sister my ass

OHMY FUCKING HELL JESUS!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(I am going to malifunction for a minute, I literally slammed against a wall because of those two)

Pat, no, ew, you really want to think about making out with your brother! ewwww

here comes his dad in 3... 2... .1.....

I SHOULD NOT BE THIS STRESSED!

Everything is about to be exposed and I am here for it.

4/4

deeeeeep breaths...

boy, fuck off

YOU DID NOT JUST HIT MY CHILD!!!

FUCK YOU!

Pat, the fuck!

Holy SHITE!

Pran face!

You should have talked to him first!

BUT HOLY SHITE! HE ACTUALLY TOLD HIM!

nooo, pran, i understand you're upset but don't do this...

THAT"S RIGHT PAT STAND UP TO YOUR DAD!

Pran, just turn around, trust me, just go

pran, just go... or turn okay then,

this gonna be blood bath,

.........................

are you fcking kidding me?

one more person puts hands on my child I will kill them

dont go barge into peoples houses!

evil things? I am intergued

I KNEW IT!

i still don't like her but it's making more sense

can you go find your boyfriend please?

i cannot handle these siblings crying!!!!!

Pat! just go find your damn boyfriend!

stop making him cry!!!!!!!!!

i'm fine

emotionally damaged but fine

i just wanted a cute beach vacation! I didn't need all this! heart break.

oh look, here's ink x paa getting together and oh whats that? HEART SHATTERING BULLSHITE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't get my vacay until next week? ... Assholes.

i did not register any of that trailer... fck everything!

[lunarosewood23]

Okay you're getting me to ship it, tell me about all the ChariTsuyu fics. TELL ME COWARD

Okay, I'm probably gonna get Percieved here but eff it. Under a cut bc reasons.

The Witch and the Pyromancer Meet: Basically what it says. These two meet. Though I will admit that before they Officially met, she absolutely ended up huddled by his bedside while comatose bc she is NOT used to Ishgard's freezing climate. She may have had a coat but still. And Charibert fucking RADIATES heat (personal HC, he's a fucking walking heater bc of his powers. Auriella thinks it’s cute and doesn’t mind the company when she goes to check on him.

ChariTsuyu post 5.5: Y’know, bonding with someone over the fact that you both were used as pawns and eventually summoned primals into yourself probably isn’t the healthiest thing...but these two...they make it work.

Post EW ChariTsuyu for FFXIVWrite: This was for FFXIVWrite 22: Fluster. In which Charibert and Yotsuyu have a Conversation™ about their future, namely fostering and possibly adopting a little girl who had been the only survivor of a fire.

Attempted FFXIVWrite prompt 22: This is how Charibert MEETS the darling little girl that he and Yotsuyu do end up adopting. Mun screech for a second: SHE IS SO DARLING I WANNA PINCH HER CHUBBY CHEEKS Ahem...

Post-EW ChariTsuyu ft Idienne: Okay this one is actually somewhat DONE but I’m a loser and am Afraid to post it...but this one is a fic of Charibert doing his digging on who this girl’s next of kin may be, finds nothing, and when he gets home, proceeds to get misty eyed bc holy shite she just called me her dad what the hells?!?!?! There’s also a bit of Charibert and Zephirin friendship bc I think once Zephirin sees that Charibert is nowhere close to as horrible as he seems he’s actually more willing to be friends. Plus they’re...kind of work buddies? I dunno, the point is they’re friends.

And because I love to show her off bc she is one of my favorite designs of the next gen, here’s Idienne as an adult with her mama’s revolver! I still can’t decide on a last name for her (it’s between Idienne Cross, Idienne Jiang, or Idienne Cross-Jiang, as her parents have been officially adopted by their respective families)

And her dressed up in a variant of her mama’s kimono.

And bc I’m so damn amused by how similar they look, here’s her with her adopted father!

SHE LOOKS A LOT LIKE HER DAD!! (Everyone likes to spread rumors about how he’s an unfaithful husband bc Idienne is full Elezen and she looks so much like him. It’s absolute lies and slander and Yotsuyu knows it. She’s mostly impressed the rumor-spreaders are still alive bc he is NOT known for showing mercy on slandering his name. He rations it out as “Let them talk, if I kill them to silence them that means there’s some merit to the rumors they spread. You and I know the truth, there’s no point in nitpicking the riff raff.”)

[spacecowboii]

Movies like this are gross. Why do some countries think it's okay to put children in love affairs with grown ass adults.

I remember I was watching this French movie and the male protagonist meets this little girl. The movie stresses for a moment how young she is so I thought she'd be like a daughter to him since he missed his family and kept having flashbacks of his daughter that died.

They were making out in the next scene but had to quickly stop because he was in his 30's and she was child. WHAT THE FUCK

When I search about it to see if anyone is saying anything, people chalk it up to cULtUrE or say it's because of the "times" the movie was created in. The movie in the screenshot above is FROM 2006! Time means nothing and I hate that excuse.

Pedophilia/ephebophilia is not okay in any culture-- religion-- ethnicity ew ew ewww

Mind you, I'm literally just googling romantic movies and I come across this shite.

[slytherinlesbian3]

All of the colors. Knock yourself out

Alright, Anon. I see you. I’ll leave out the ones I’ve already done though <3

red: describe your favorite shirt Blue. Literally just blue. Tight, but not too tight. Makes my biceps and boobs pop so it’s pretty nice.

blue: preferred type of weather? Rain or snow.

purple: a poem you think describes your closest friend Not a poem, but “I’ll be right beside you to the very end.”

turquoise: favorite sea animal? Dolphins.

cyan: are you religious? spiritual? Uh, I believe in more than one god and lean more toward Roman/Norse mythology than religion. I believe in every god, really. But I’m not submitting myself to blind faith for a cult I know nothing about.

violet: are you a part of the lgbt+ community? Lesbian through and through.

aqua: do you thrift? Do I...what? Thrift as in steal or thrift as in buy on sale? Because yes.

black: would you ever try going vegetarian or vegan? No.

coral: an animal you wish hadn't gone extinct Bro...Dodo birds. They were dope.

grey: how many languages do you speak? do you want to learn any more? Technically I only fluently speak English, but when I was younger I only spoke in Italian except to my family sejfnskejnfdjskn. I’m learning Latin right now and I can still speak Italian but not nearly as much. I know bits of French, German, Japanese, and Czech though. Beside Latin, I don’t really wanna learn any others.

maroon: do you care for clothing brands? Adidas and 511. Adidas because I’m a slut for soccer and 511 because their pants are so COMFY BRO. But they’re expensive so I only own a 511 belt </3

rose: favourite scent on a person? Something...floral. Roses or cherry blossom. Coconut is nice too. Vanilla is cliche but you can never go wrong with it.

charcoal: have you ever been camping? No and I do not wish for it ever.

claret: do you play an instrument? do you want to learn to play any? Trumpet and guitar. 6 years, 11 months.

copper: gold or silver jewelry? Neither, but silver probably. Just looks nicer with my skin tone.

cream: any piercings or tattoos? do you want any? None. I don’t even have my ears pierced. However, I do want a snake tattoo on my thigh lmaoo.

salmon: how many pairs of sunglasses do you own? Like 5 but I only wear one because they’re aviators :D

indigo: have you ever lived on a farm? Nope but I have stayed on one for about a month.

lavender: relationship status? Single but I do have a tumblr wife: @maritasdump​

erin: what was/is your best school subject? ENGLISH BECAUSE I CAN WRITE ESSAYS IN LITERALLY 15 MINUTES

fulvous: another name you think would suit you Ew, uh...well, Vi. It’s my nickname since it’s the shortened version of the nickname of my real name, but it fits me better.

coconut: a subject you enjoy learning about Rome and Latin :D

frost: a -core you enjoy A what.

porcelain: an tv show you used to love Powerpuff Girls, Teen Titans (original), eh

fawn: any interesting family stories? Well, one time my brother got a stick stuck in his shin. Kinda funny. Another time my brother broke my leg while on a trampoline Another time my brother almost broke my ankle by daring me to jump off a 20 foot ledge. Another time I made my brother bleed with my nails for taking my skittles. I could go on...it’s just a lot of sibling violence.

gold: do you wear your socks mismatched? I used to but I just wear black socks now. (Except for soccer)

honey: your thoughts on magic- does it exist? Yeah. Just in different forms:)

rust: form of art you enjoy doing? Writing lmao. But I guess just sketching is fun.

mahogany: your sun, moon, and rising signs I have 0 desire to calculate that because I don’t know it off the top of my head but I’m a capricorn and I feel like that’s enough information

blood: twin beds, queen, or king? ...And there was only one bed...

hot pink: did you/do you had/have strong feelings against the color pink? Hot pink is nasty but regular pink is cool asf. My soccer socks for October games are pink and I wear them every practice/game.

plum: a food you've never tried A lot, but I’ve tried a hella ton of European foods. So, uh...I’m not really sure. Something non-American (all Americas), non-EU, and non-Asian, I know that. 

lilac: dogs, cats, or fish? CATS.

amethyst: do you collect anything? Knives.

mulberry: earbuds or headphones? Eh...Depends what I’m doing. Voice chat? Headphones. Music at the bus stop? Earbuds.

azure: jean jackets? My God - on other people? Hot. On me? I’ll stick to leather.

teal: have a job? Not yet.

sapphire: do you think you can sing well? For the most part, yeah. Trying to incorporate my guitar playing with it and it’s going pretty smoothly.

mint: favourite flavour of gum? Juicy Fruit simply because my grandmother got me hooked on it from a really young age. That or plain ol’ wintermint.

pecan: shuffle your playlist, what's the first song that comes up? Follow by Breaking Benjamin

penny: icecream or cake Ew. Sweets are a hit or miss for me, but um? Probably ice cream.

ash: can you do your own makeup? Hell no. I’ve only worn makeup twice and it was applied by someone else.

jade: ever written fanfiction? EKFMNSKENFJKDSN SO MUCH.

grape: how many blogs do you follow? 346!

umber: do you brush your teeth before you eat? No, ew. Why would you do that?

chestnut: type of phone you have iPhone 10 XS. Got it last May...First new phone I’d ever owned. Went from an iPod that could only call, to a phone that could only call, then an iPhone 5 until I was 15. They were all hand-me-downs and I never complained. They worked fine.

prussian blue: what's your first choice at the vending machine Soda, probably. If it’s food, either the chips or the rice krispy <3

aquamarine: beach or pool Pool. I’ve come too close to death at the beach to enjoy it anymore.

brass: least favorite food condiment Mayo/horse radish.

mustard: how much sugar in your tea/coffee? All of it.

silver: ever broken a bone? My entire leg and foot <3

rose quartz: rings or necklaces Necklaces with rings. I’m serious. But if I had to choose, rings. It’s the gay in me.

onyx: do you still play Minecraft? Sometimes?

burgundy: ever ridden a motorcycle? NO BUT I WANT ONE MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE FRIGGIN UNIVERSE

apricot: opinion on 3 in 1 body wash/hair wash wait those exist? 

platinum: do you follow politics? Dude I didn’t know Trump was president til this year

magnolia: your Instagram handle? ha, nice try, luzer.

Bro I am LATE to somewhere because of this but I enjoyed it. Thanks again, anon! <3

Color Asks (I am closing this shite because I AM TIRED)

[chocolatemillkk]

Intensity JS-wip

“We’re dating each other.” Y/N bursts into my room. “Okay? You’re my date.”

“Who-“

“Byron let me in,” she explains before I could ask my question.

“Why-“

“Long story or short?” She plops herself onto my bed and falls back, grabbing a pillow to scream into.

“Is that the short story?” I chuckle as I go back to folding my laundry.

“Long story it is. So you know how going back home for the holidays is always such a pain because my extended family is a pain in the-”

“Yeah-“ I try to get in but she cuts me off.

“And remember I’m always forced to face my ex-the one I dated for two bloody years and who dumped me for my cousin?”

“You’ve mentioned about a million tim-“

“So this year my mum invited that little bitch to ours for Christmas dinner because her parents are travelling the world or some shite and she has no one for Christmas dinner. But here’s the kicker! Turns out she’s still with my ex and they’re engaged now...”

I listen, amused at how fast Y/N zooms through her story. She’s equal parts angry, stressed, and already convinced I would say yes.

“So in order for me to keep the sliver of respect I still have, and not to look like a complete loser who hasn’t held a steady boyfriend since...well...since him. I need to bring a boyfriend home. I thought about bringing home a girlfriend just to freak everyone out-you know...but none of my friends were up for it. They already look at me weird because I do Youtube for a career but-“

“Y/N,” I push my clothes aside and jump onto the bed to push her down. She goes down with a shout and I kneel over her. “Shut up will you? I’ll bloody come as long as I’m back in London by Sunday.”

“Oh you will. Dinner’s Friday and we’re leaving right after!”

“You’re mad you know that?” I shake my head and she delivers a foot to my stomach. I lose my balance and come crashing down onto the bed beside her.

“You’ll see why I’m so mad when I take you home.” Y/N scrubs her eyes.

“I’ll finally ask your mum if she dropped you on your head as a child,” I say, pushing Y/N’s buttons even more. I get the desired response-a string of swear words before she bounces off the bed.

“Now I have to go look for a dress that’ll make me look uh-mazing,” Y/N pauses by my door. “And I’ll pick you up Friday at 3.”

“Alright,” I sit up in bed. “And Y/N?” She turns to look at me, her cheeks flushed and mind whirring, a million miles away. “I don’t think you’re a complete loser.”

I manage to pull her back to the present as she focuses on what I’d just said. She rolls her eyes and sticks up her middle finger before leaving but not before I see the smile grace her face. I lay back down on the bed with the same smile that she never failed to leave me with.

•••

Y/N and I were complicated but at the same time we weren’t. We’d met on New Year’s a few years back and after a flirty night we somehow decided to stay friends. Somewhere along the way we became inseperable. But sometimes I wondered what would have happened that night if I did work up the courage to kiss her like I wanted, or if I asked her out on a date the next time we met instead of asking her if she wanted to join the boys and I for brunch.

Y/N was fierce to the outside world but I knew the softer side of her. The one she allowed me to see after many vulnerable drunk conversations and road trips we often took alone. She was my partner in crime and I was lucky she’d picked me to talk to that New Year’s Eve.

I sit in the passenger’s seat of Y/N eco friendly car-a spot I was so familiar with the seat probably had an imprint in the shape of my bum. Christmas carols play softly through the stereo but I can’t focus because Y/N continues talking through them.

“So not quite a year but almost,” Y/N tries to get our fake history right.

“How about we say we made it official at last New Year’s so it’s easy to remember?” I suggest.

“Oh you’re genius,” she grins a toothy grin. “Yes-oh by the way Josh was telling me about the costumes you ordered for that video? When’s that happening?”

We get side tracked talking about work and by the time we pull up to Y/N’s childhood home, she’s less anxious but its not completely gone. I manage to get her out of the car and hold her her hand as we get to the front door. Her mum opens, trying to hide her shocked expression at my presence but reassuring me she has plenty of food. Y/N’s younger sister barely spares me a glance from her phone, already decided years ago that I was weird after walking in on Y/N and I trying to eat cupcakes without our hands (in all fairness it was for a video). Her dad welcomes me warmly and we’re all sat in the sitting room when the doorbell rings.

“Oh that’s probably Eve and Jim!” Y/N’s mum gets up to get the door.

“Wonderful,” Y/N glances at me and then says something to her sister which sets her off laughing.

Y/N •••

“Y/N,” my cousin sounds scandalized as she observes Joe. “Is this Joe?”

“Yeah,” Joe’s hand circles my waist answering before I could. “Nice to finally meet you.”

“I didn’t know you two were dating,” she eyes our posture and wraps her hands around Jim’s waist. Her fiance. Gross.

Jim greets Joe wearily and glances at me before deciding to concentrate on the Christmas tree. I’m better off without him, I remind myself. Eve and him were a better couple anyway. I had moved on to better things. He wasn’t even that great.

“Yeah we are,” I find my voice. “Joe and I. We’re...in love! Right?”

“Very much,” Joe smiles at me but his eyes are teasing me so I avoid looking into them in case I start laughing again. He made it very hard to stay serious.

“That’s so cute!” Eve says before moving on to greet my sister. I roll my eyes to Joe before we take our seats which happen to be right across from the vacant seats Eve and Jim were going to take. I’m grateful for Joe who wraps his arms around my shoulders and keeps me comforted until dinner. He knows exactly what to do and say to make it believable, even pecking my cheek when Eve asks our first date story which he pulls out of his arse. He deserved an Oscar. I would tell him after.

Joe •••

“So Jim,” I say halfway into dinner. He didn’t speak much but I wanted to know the guy who was Y/N’s firsts. He didn’t seem much her type but I figured there was more under the surface. “What are the plans for the wedding?”

“It’s a summer wedding,” he says slowly. “I thought autumn would be nice but Eve didn’t want to risk bad weather and whatnot.”

“Not just bad weather,” Eve cuts in and begins detailing her wedding plans which Y/N kicks me under the table for starting.

“You see you two going that way?” Jim asks me after a while as Eve continues to explain to Y/N her bridesmaid dress.

“Y/N and me?” I ask, caught off guard.

“Yeah,” Jim laughs, raising an eyebrow. “I can see the way you two look at each other. And she’s a great girl.”

“Yeah...you would know,” It’s easy to slip in my question. “She’s kind of close lipped about what happened with you two...?”

“Really?” Jim glances at Y/N almost like she scared him. “That doesn’t sound like her.”

“Guess not,” I force a laugh. The truth was Y/N went on many rants about how unreliable men were and I knew that was due to Jim, she’d told me vaguely he broke up with her and started dating Eve a few weeks later. But never the details.

“We were young and-“ Jim hesitates and glances at Y/N and then back to me. “She was always a little intense you know? It was just...a little much for me.”

“I think she’s perfectly intense,” I feel myself getting defensive and Jim catches it too.

“Who’re you calling intense?” Y/N says at the same time, her eyes burning...well...intensely.

“Uhm,” Jim shakes his head. “Just talking to Joe-“

“You.” I say. “I was saying I loved your intensity.” Y/N stares at me suspiciously, trying to read whether I was lying or not. “It’s part of your charm.”

“Y/N’s charm is scaring everyone away,” her sister comments and Eve laughs.

“Shut up idiot,” Y/N stares daggers at her sister but she just shrugs.

“Well it’s sort of true,” Eve gloats. “In secondary everyone eventually stopped hanging out with you because you scared them all away.”

“Or maybe it’s because you always bitched about me to anyone who listened,” Y/N bites back but her voice shakes.

“Language,” Y/N’s dad warns.

“Well hey, I’m still here,” I interrupt and grab Y/N’s hand to hold, hoping to change the subject around.

“Yeah that’s cause you’re...weird. Like Y/N.” Her sister eyes me.

“Hey,” Y/N’s mum scolds everyone but I mouth a thanks to her sister and she rolls her eyes. She looked just like Y/N. “Let’s not have this conversation right now please. Eve your plate’s empty would you like seconds?”

“Yeah Eve,” Y/N spits. “Want some sloppy seconds?”

Eve’s mouth drops and Y/N’s parents scold her as her sister giggles.

“So mature,” Eve crosses her arms. “No reason to stay jealous Y/N.”

“Why would I be jealous of pathetic Jim over here.”

“Y/N!” Her mum scolds.

“Y/N you’re-“ Jim starts.

“Shut up!” Y/N cuts Jim off and I almost feel bad for him. “You don’t deserve to talk. Not to my face, in this house.”

“Well you better get over it,” Eve cuts in. “You’ll be seeing a lot of him since we’re getting married and all. He’ll be around for a while.”

“Lucky for you-no competition-your only other available cousin is underage.”

Y/N’s sister’s jaw drops and the table explodes around us. I figure Y/N had taken it too far but she’s already stomping away before I could reach for her. I leave the noisy table and find her exiting the front door. I grab her jacket and make my way outside.

“Do you still like him?” I ask after I hand her her coat. I don’t know why I ask. But it’s suddenly important for me to know.

“Ew gross, Sugg. I thought you knew me better.” Y/N glares at me.

“I do. I’m just wondering why you’re still upset after all these years. You don’t have feelings for him so-“

“I don’t know!” Y/N turns away from me. “I just hate seeing them together. It just hurts! It reminding me every time I do how I was such an idiot, it reminds me of the shitty time I had in secondary, and how Eve always wins at everything. Even my parents take her side over mine even though they clearly see everything she put me through! Jim dumped me because Eve talked bullshit about me all the time and complained to him constantly. He never minded I was so intense but suddenly he was scared away directly into her arms-“

“So fuck him!” I grab her shoulders.

“I already did!” The words fly out of Y/N’s mouth, and she tries to stay angry but her face cracks and suddenly she’s laughing. “Jesus he lost his v-card in the bedroom above from where he sits. I wonder how Eve feels about that.”

I laugh, relieved that Y/N had run out of her rage.

“Y/N,” I tell her. “You’re not scary or a loser. There’s nothing wrong with your job or you intensity. You’re perfect.”

“Is this where we kiss?” Y/N raises her eyebrow.

“No mistletoe,” I look above us.

She rolls her eyes but I glimpse a smile as she looks down. “Want to walk down to my old school? Where nobody liked me?”

“Yeah,” I button my coat and grab her hand. “I’ll beat up all the fake bullies.”

“You don’t have to hold my hand out here,” she looks down at our clasped hands.

“Keeps us warm,” I kiss her forehead and we’re off. She tells me stories from school and I imagine her here walking these streets as a kid. I finally get the full Y/N story by the time we reach the playground. We pause in front of the front entrance and she gazes up at the building. Suddenly, she turns to me and closes her arms around my shoulders, burying her face into my neck.

“I’m sorry for dragging you all the way out here for this shitshow and wasting your Friday.” She says close to my ear. I ignore the shiver that runs through me and wrap my arms around her waist.

“It was fun,” I tell her. “I liked the look on your cousin’s face when you asked her about your sloppy seconds.”

Y/N giggles into my neck before facing me. She grows serious as she scans my face this closely. “I never actually asked anyone else to be my fake date.”

“Hm.” I let the information sink in. “So you wanted to lure me out here all by myself.”

“Sort of,” a mischevious smile plays on her lips. “You got a history lesson out of it.”

“The only one worth paying attention to,” I say just as she tugs my sleeve and is off running towards the staircase leading into the building. She stops at the side, and stands there with her back against it.

“I never asked anyone to be my fake date because I wanted you by my side,” Y/N watches me intensely as she tells me what I already knew, but her confirmation gives me the only push I needed.

“Well,” I step forward, closing the distance between us and her breath catches as she looks up at me. “It’s good. I wouldn’t have wanted any other fake date to be able to do this.”

I lean down and her eyes are already fluttering close as I press my lips to hers and just like everything about her, it’s intense and passionate and entirely electric.

“Why haven’t we done that sooner,” she asks against my lips when we part but my senses are too jumbled to form a sentence. It didn’t matter we hadn’t done it sooner, I pull her into me to kiss her again, it was perfect the way

[eruptiions]

@jcyfulmess S A I D  :  “ Ship meme for french leather then hehe ”

General:

Rate the Ship -   Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs

How long will they last? - better be forever, neither of them can take more heartbreak.

How quickly did/will they fall in love? - in our verse it was derived from tragedy so awhile.

How was their first kiss? - scary, guilty, and comforting.

Wedding:

Who proposed? - if it were to happen i could see it being sarah.

Who is the best man/men? - it dont think it would be a formal event? like they would just go to the courthouse and do like a party after.

Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - see above ^

Who did the most planning? - alison.

Who stressed the most? - probably delphine externally versus sarah screaming internally.

How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.

Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - anyone not in their immediate famjam

Sex:

Who is on top? - they probably fight over this a lot, but i could see sarah winning most of the time. 

Who is the one to instigate things? - either one, sarah is a bit more forward though.

How healthy is their sex life? -  Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now

How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head

How long do they normally last? - depends on the day, but they can go for a few rounds for sure. sarah can handle more though.

Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - usually, but someone might tap out sooner.

How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.

How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.

Children:

How many children will they have naturally? - ...this wouldn’t work like that.

How many children will they adopt? - sarah already has kira so probably none???

Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - n/a

Who is the stricter parent? - sarah definitely.

Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? -  delphine

Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - ...definitely delphine

Who is the more loved parent? - i would say equally

Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? delphine plays nicely with the other parents. sarah not so much.

Who cried the most at graduation? - sarah but she won’t admit it

Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - they both would.

Cooking:

Who does the most cooking? - delphine, sarah can’t cook for shite.

Who is the most picky in their food choice? - i would say neither are picky, delphine has a more refined palate though. 

Who does the grocery shopping? - delphine makes a list for sarah to follow lmao

How often do they bake desserts? - whenever there’s time or for a special occasion.

Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - pretty balanced, sarah definitely likes meat more than veggies though.

Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - delphine for sure, sarah sucks at remembering things. 

Who is more likely to suggest going out? - sarah, she likes to show off her pretty lady.

Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - sarah 100%. 

Chores:

Who cleans the room? - sarah usually, delphine works more.

Who is really against chores? - neither, though sarah takes breaks while doing chores more than she should.

Who cleans up after the pets? - probably ends up being delphine

Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - sarah, but she doesn't do it.

Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - probably delphine. 

Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - sarah. and it was a small victory. 

Misc:

Who takes the longer showers/baths? - sarah doesn’t care for baths, but she’ll take longer showers.

Who takes the dog out for a walk? - delphine takes him out in the mornings, sarah in the evenings.

How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - they try and make it a family thing for all the holidays.

What are their goals for the relationship? - to just be themselves, co-existing and being there for each other. to just be happy.

Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - sarah absolutely. 

Who plays the most pranks? -sarah likes to mess with delphine usually with the help of kira or kira’s cousins.

[sunkeeperxiv]

FFXIV Write Day 14: Clear

Late post! I completely scrapped the way I was going with this halfway through, so it took a little longer, hah.

EW timeframe/spoilers; ~900 words

Daca'li isn't the worst patient imaginable... but some aspects of convalescence do wear on him, and he's never been shy about showing his frustration.

Daca’li flattened his ears and let a low growl escape his throat. It had been miserable enough to have been confined to a bed for the past two full weeks, not even counting the time he’d spent drifting in and out of consciousness. Since their return from Ultima Thule, he hadn’t had the energy to fight anyone on that restriction, not the Sharlayan chirurgeons, not the Scions, and certainly not any of his visiting family members.

Some indignities, however, he could not permit to continue, and the strict diet of archon loaf and clear broth he’d been placed on sat securely on the top of that list. Even now G’raha sat by his bedside, outright brandishing a thick slice of that awful concoction the Sharlayans called food at him. He had gone to some effort, it was true - it was toasted, and he’d spread butter and jam on it in an effort to make it more palatable. All the effort in the world wouldn’t help, though.

G’raha’s ears were down, a tired expression on his face. “Come, Daca’li. You must replenish your body’s stores of aether to recover your strength. Please, I know you dislike it, but it will help you." His gaze flicked upward briefly, but Daca’li ignored it, his attention fixed firmly on the bread slice.

“I can replenish my body’s aether just fine with real food,” he retorted. “Bring me some o’ that and I’ll eat whatever you want. But I can’t bear any more o’ that shite.” G’raha sighed and shook his head.

“The chirurgeons have recommended this. I promise, when you are well you may have whatever you like, but for now just put up with this.” Daca’li offered no concession, and a crack appeared in G’raha’s patience. “I have eaten this myself, you know. Many times. It is not nearly as bad as you are insisting it to be.”

“That’s no reason to force it on me! Just give me actual soup with actual bread!”

“You may have whatever you want when you are recovered enough.” The barest hint of a growl crept into G’raha’s own voice as he repeated himself. “For now, eat this. Surely, after all you have been through, this is among the least of the difficulties you have faced.”

That gave Daca’li pause. G’raha wasn’t one to growl, typically. He was intent on getting Daca’li to eat, and Daca’li knew better than to think G’raha wanted him to be miserable. “Why’s this so important to you? I’ve got all the time I need to recover, right? There’s no new crisis looming over us. I can take it slow if I need to.” G’raha frowned and drew his hand back, staring down at the slice of bread in it.

“I— Aye. There’s no reason to rush you, no. I only—“ He paused, biting at his lip. “I realize you are no stranger to injury but, this time was… extraordinarily severe.” He wouldn’t meet Daca’li’s eyes, but Daca’li knew the degree to which G’raha was understating the ordeal he’d just been through. “We were worried enough after we managed to revive you on the Ragnarok, but when you collapsed again, I— we all were worried we would lose you once more. Even now, your recovery has been so slow. I do not wish to do anything that might cause it to be slower… or cause you not to recover at all.”

Daca’li hummed thoughtfully. “Would it ease your mind to know I have been feeling better over the past week? I won’t deny it’s slow, but I am recovering, bit by bit.”

G’raha straightened a little, his expression softening. “That… is indeed reassuring. Still, your recovery is proceeding, not finished. Rest, medicine and food all remain integral to your well-being, and Archon loaf is uniquely nourishing, however much you dislike it.” The look on his face was downright pleading now. “It won’t be forever. Please, just for now, put up with it.”

Between G’raha’s obvious upset and his own infirmity, Daca’li was running out of willingness to argue. G’raha was smart enough to run circles around him in any argument besides, and stubborn to boot. “Can we strike a deal, then? I’ll put up with the Archon loaf for one meal a day, if I get real food for a different meal?”

G’raha appeared pensive, then held out the slice of bread to Daca’li again. “I believe I can acquiesce to that.”

Daca’li took the bread and decided to push his luck. “An’ maybe I could sit in a chair from time to time? Mayhap near an open window, before I forget what the sky looks like?” He braced himself and took as large a bite of the toast as he could, swallowing it with the bare minimum of chewing. Wicked white, but it was awful.

At this point G’raha seemed to be supressing laughter. “Perhaps such a thing could be arranged. If you keep up your end of the bargain.” Daca’li forced a smile and choked down the rest of the bread as quickly as he could. G’raha reached out and rubbed at one of his ears. “Thank you, love. I promise I’ll have something more palatable when I return.” Daca’li forced a purr in return.

“I’ll be better soon enough, don’t you worry,” he assured G’raha. “If only to be rid of this soddin' abomination of a breakfast. That’s a promise.”

“I’ve no doubt, truly,” G’raha replied. “But I’ll be right here with whatever you need, just in case.”

[drarry-with-a-side-of-wolfstar]

Drarry Fic Recs

My Favourite Drarry fanfictions from the past two years. 

Stop All the Clocks (This is the Last Time I’m Leaving Without You) by @firethesound  [E, 44K] Major Character Death

Living with Draco was difficult; living without him is unbearable. But if there’s one thing Harry learned from the war, it’s that even when one life ends, the rest of the world goes right on living.

You open always (petal by petal) by birdsofshore [E, 65K] Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Harry’s not the kind of person who pays for sex. He really isn’t. Until he is.

Lumos by birdsofshore [E, 41K] Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Harry never expected to spend eighth year listening to Draco Malfoy wanking.

Touch by @bixgirl1 [E, 44K] Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

When Harry is referred to a professional cuddler for the soothing power of touch, he’s dubious — even more so when the Cuddler who shows up turns out to be Malfoy. But in the years since the war, Malfoy’s changed, and over the next several days Harry is confronted by how much he still doesn’t know about this new version of his old enemy — and by how much he wants to learn.

Draw a Line From Your Heart To Mine by CreateImagineWrite [T, 40K] Creator Not To Use Archive Warnings

Being Harry Potter's best friend isn't always fame and beating off raving fans. It's also the anxiety of hearing your best mate's been cursed by another Dark Lord, or love potioned by some crazy woman. Or having his boyfriend you knew nothing about turn up on the Burrow's doorstep. Crime/Mystery fic.

My Big Fat Pureblood Wedding Series by QueenyMidas  [E, 306K] No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage

Chaos ensues after Harry proposes to Draco on their three-year anniversary. The two must plan a wedding around their fighting friends, warring families, and each other's stubbornness. EWE, post-war, disregarding Remus, Sirius, and Colin's deaths and the fact that gay marriage is not legal in the UK.

Through the Looking Glass and What Draco Found There by @magpiefngrl [E, 16K] Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Draco discovers the Mirror of Erised is a portal and he enters an alternate reality where your deepest desires come true.

Or how Draco found himself in the world of his dreams and Potter had to come and ruin it.

Nearly Lost Things, Carefully Tended by SquadOfCats [E, 46K] No Archive Warnings Apply

Three years after the war, Harry is lost, drifting, and feeling left behind. In an effort to get control of his life, he commits to cleaning out Grimmauld Place top-to-bottom and forcing it to be a home, whether it likes it or not. The rotten old house is stuffed full of antiques, and Harry is shocked to discover none other than Draco Malfoy running the local antique shop. Malfoy is polite -- too polite, and Harry soon finds himself with a mission: to annoy and bother Malfoy with the most hideous, absurd antiques he can find. But along the way, Harry comes to appreciate Draco, his work, and the power of connecting to the people who came before him. It's a hard lesson, but Harry learns that if he wants to build a future, he has to reconnect to his past, and Draco might just be the one to help him do it.

All Our Secrets Laid Bare by @firethesound [E, 149K] Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Over the six years Draco Malfoy has been an Auror, four of his partners have turned up dead. Harry Potter is assigned as his newest partner to investigate just what is going on.

Kiss the Joy (Until the Sun Rise) by ICMezzo [M, 37K] Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

The Room of Requirement was severely damaged in the war, but not so much that it could not provide for one lost student and another young hero—especially when they needed each other most of all.

Then Comes a Mist and a Weeping Rain by Faith Wood [E, 21K] No Archive Warnings Apply

It always rains for Draco Malfoy. Metaphorically. And literally. Ever since he had accidentally Conjured a cloud. A cloud that's ever so cross.

Lost Boys by Dahlia_Rose_83 [E, 32K] No Archive Warnings Apply

On his way to meet Voldemort in the forbidden forest, Harry ran into Draco, who kissed him. Now they're both back at Hogwarts for their eighth year and he doesn't really know how to act towards the blond.

Wish Upon a Star (as Dreamers Do) by ICMezzo [M, 27K] No Archive Warnings Apply

There’s plant magic and celestial magic and dark magic and the normal magic that allows Harry to use a spell to clean his socks when Myrtle’s taken up in his laundry room again. Then there are wishes, and dreams, and love, and those are even more magical still. Career Choices: Harry: Hogwarts Consultant; Draco: Wishmaker

At The Crossroads There We’ll Meet by @firethesound [E, 24K] No Archive Warnings Apply

Potter keeps dying; Draco keeps saving him.

Solder by Oakstone730 [E, 34K] Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Seven years ago, Harry disappeared out of Draco and Scorpius's life without a trace after Harry's addictions destroyed his and Draco's marriage. Now, Harry’s back, and Draco wants to believe he’s changed. But Harry isn’t the only one haunted by the past.

The Devil’s White Knight  [E, 64K] Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

When Harry wakes up in an alternate timeline--a timeline where Voldemort was defeated long before the first war--he discovers everything is different. His parents, his godfather, his friends--and him. Harry must deal with the consequences of who he would have been if he had been raised by his parents, and figure out where he stands with his casual hook up, Draco Malfoy.

Teach Me by @xx-thedarklord-xx [M, 34k] No Archive Warnings Apply

"If you can’t learn Occlumency, then you can’t become an Auror.”

No. All of this couldn’t be for nothing. Harry hadn’t spent so much time proving himself, proving that he was more than just a famous name for all of this to go to shite. “This can’t be the end.”

"I have someone in mind that could teach you if you are willing, but I can't guarantee he will help, especially considering your... past."

"You don't mean Malfoy, do you?"

Running on Air by eleventy7 [T, 74K] No Archive Warnings Apply

Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.

The Light That is Blinding Me by Leontina [E, 22K] No Archive Warnings Apply

After Flourish and Blotts stop stocking the books of Harry’s favourite author, he is directed to a queer bookshop and discovers it’s owned by none other than Draco Malfoy, who has more in common with Harry than either of them realise.

Another Mask Behind You by @letteredlettered [E, 116K] Rape/Non-Con

Draco is a high-end prostitute who hides his identity. Harry unknowingly hires him. And then there is porn, questions about identity, domestic bliss, more porn, and truth as seen through a web of lies. (And then more porn. Seriously, if you don’t want sex scene after sex scene you probably shouldn’t read this. And please read the warnings.)

Yours is the Earth (Hold On, Hold On) by chickenlivesinpumpkin [E, 127K] Graphic Depictions of Violence

When they first meet after the end of the war, Draco doesn't want anything to do with Harry. But as time goes by, Draco's growing love may be the only thing that can save them both, because after a serious accident in the Forbidden Forest, Draco's personality begins to undergo subtle changes. At first, Harry credits this to a new enthusiasm for life. But as the days pass and Draco's behavior becomes more and more mysterious, Harry begins to suspect that something bigger--and darker--is at work.

Any Instrument by dicta_contrion [E, 131K] No Archive Warnings Apply

Draco Malfoy wouldn't go back to England for anything less than an exceptional case. Being asked to figure out why Harry Potter can't control his magic might be exceptional enough to qualify.

And Back Again (Where You Belong) by @eidheann [E, 15K] No Archive Warnings Apply

He thought back on their previous handshakes, and smiled faintly at the fact they always seemed to mean so much more to him than they did to Potter.

And I Know the Spark by @firethesound [E, 15K] Graphic Depictions of Violence 

All Draco cares about is keeping Potter alive, and he’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that happens.

The Light More Beautiful by @firethesound [E, 81K] No Archive Warnings Apply

Thirteen years after Draco accepts Potter's help escaping the horror of his sixth year, he returns to England where he makes the unfortunate discovery that Potter is still as obnoxious as ever. And worse, more than a decade overseas hasn't been enough to dim Draco's obsession with him.

Of Wands And Trees by Omi_Ohmy [E, 45K] No Archive Warnings Apply 

All Draco wants to do is be a wandmaker, but to do so he needs to understand the soul of trees. Of course, the only man who might be able to help him is the one man who is more of a mystery to him than any tree.

My Little Berserker by @aelys-althea​ [E, 105K] No Archive Warnings Apply

Eighth year was supposed to be calm. Moderated. Peaceful, even. Draco returned to escape the chaos wrought upon his shambles of a life and Harry to flee the responsibility of a world that sees him as something greater than was truly possible. Hogwarts was a safe haven, right?At least it was until Hagrid comes up with the wonderful idea to introduce some additional members to the student body of the fluffier variety. Hagrid doesn't do moderated - where's the fun in that?

Paradigm by dysonrules [M, 57K] Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Harry Potter is an Auror and Draco Malfoy is a rentboy, but this is not a typical rentboy story.

Tear Out The Pages by alphinski [T, 74K] No Archive Warnings Apply

Draco didn't do things by halves. Instead of just walking out on Harry, he left the country. He's back now with a book and half the Wizarding World fawning over him. Harry refuses to join that number.

In The Hand by aideomai [T, 28] Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Two months after Harry went missing, when Hermione was frantic with fear and panic and sleep deprivation, Draco Malfoy cornered them outside the Great Hall before breakfast.

The Claiming of Grimmauld Place  by @bixgirl1​ [E, 74K] No Archive Warnings Apply

When Grimmauld Place begins fighting against Harry’s ownership of it, he decides he needs help to train the historic home — but little does he expect that it’ll be Malfoy who’s most suitable for the challenge. However, as Malfoy and Harry get closer, Harry comes to understand that expectations aren’t always the best path by which to guide his heart — and in the process learns just what is needed to make a house a home.

The Frisky Furnishings of Malfoy Manor by @writcraft​ [M, 19K] No Archive Warnings Apply

The course of true love never did run smooth.Or: Hermione has a crafty plan, Harry and Draco are fake boyfriends and wizarding traditions have a lot to answer for. Featuring awkward dates, mince pies, a saucy sofa and a line of sequined house-elf haute couture nobody asked for but got anyway.

The Arrangement by RurouniHime [E, 65K] No Archive Warnings Apply 

It's worked for years. Why change it now?

The Truth is in the Rain by aki_hoshi [E, 74K] No Archive Warnings Apply

It rained, and Harry Potter was his friend. There isn't any hard and fast rule for friendship, or even love. It comes, sometimes as unwanted as the rain, and its effect lingers long after it's gone. Draco struggles to understand why this is all happening to him, and why Potter can't just go bother someone else.

Adventures in Solitude (Are You There Sirius? It’s Me, Draco) by oceaxe [E, 25K] No Archive Warnings Apply

Draco is grateful to have had Sirius’ portrait to confide in all those years ago, about his sexuality and unwanted feelings for a classmate named Harry. But when he gets the portrait out of storage after twenty years, the secrets he has kept from Sirius all along come out. Secrets about Draco’s role in the war... and secrets about Harry Potter.

The Standard You Walk Past by @bafflinghaze​ [E, 46K] No Archive Warnings Apply

On returning to Hogwarts for their Eighth Year, Headmistress McGonagall decided to room Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter together. She may have hoped for a leading example of house unity; the other students fully expected insults and fights. But nothing happened.                                                                    That was, until Harry sleepwalked into Draco’s bed.

I could be wrong, I could be ready by @harryromper​ [M, 57K] No Archive Warnings Apply

At first Harry wonders if they’ve managed to destroy his vaults and are trying to tell him in the most oblique way possible. But when he turns the page he realises they’ve found a vault. A vault in the name of Lily and James Potter.    The parchment trembles a little in Harry’s hand. He takes another gulp of wine. Harry Potter left Britain after the war and didn’t look back. Ten years later, when Gringotts discovers a vault containing his parents’ belongings—including their badly spell-damaged wedding rings—he’s forced to face up to friends and family who’ve grown in ways he could never imagine, a wizarding London rebuilt beyond his expectations, and the anniversary of the Battle of Hogwarts. And if that wasn’t enough, there’s the entirely unforeseen problem of Draco Malfoy. Featuring pureblood wizarding traditions, ancestral magic, open mic nights, marriage equality, a diner in Brooklyn, and the return of Fleamont Potter.

I’ll probably keep adding to this list as I find/read more amazing fics!

[celtics534]

Finesse

@gryffindormischief and I are proud to present a cooperative effort! It all started as a fun conversation and now we have over 5,000 words for y’all! 

Also available on FF.net and AO3

Harry sat by the fire in the common room, trying to talk himself out of it.

It’s a bad idea, his brain kept saying, in a voice that sounded all too much like Hermione. He shouldn’t ask her. It would be difficult to get the words out for starters, but -- Merlin -- he needed to know! He hated being blind. Harry liked going into a situation with as much detail as he could get, without it… well, he wouldn’t let his mind drift back to anything like that now.

He shook his head. He didn’t want to do this, but who else could he ask? Sirius was gone, Remus was busy with the Order, Mr Weasley -- Hell no! No, he could only think of one person who he could handle going to this about.

With his decision made, Harry stood from the sofa, crumpling the paper he had been doodling on and threw it into the fire. It was only an hour before curfew, so most people had settled into the Common Room for the night, minus patrolling prefects and stressed fifth and seventh years who haunted the library.

No one paid him any mind as he exited the portrait hole. Ever since he and Ginny had gotten together people watched him like a show animal, more than usual. Though honestly, he didn’t really care (for once), because he was blissfully distracted by Ginny.

Ginny… The reason he was having to do this… The cause of all this…

Harry’s feet led him to the office without any guidance from his mind. Then his fist rattled the door without any forethought.

Professor McGonagall opened at the third knock, her teaching robes still on, even though the lateness of the hour would have presented her with more than enough chance to relax.

“Potter.” Her tone was as sharp as ever, but her eyes shone with curiosity. “What’s happened?”

“Noth -” Harry’s voice betrayed him as it cracked. He cleared his throat, trying to prevent his face from flushing. “Nothing, professor.”

“Students don’t come to my office for nothing.” She moved out of the door frame. “Come in a take a seat.”

Harry did as he was told, perching on one of the empty stiff back chairs across from McGonagall’s seat. McGonagall took her position, pulling open the tin of biscuits on her desk. Harry politely refused with a shake of the head.

“Alright then, Potter.” McGonagall watched him. Her gaze always seemed to draw words from his mouth. “Care to explain why you’re here?”

“I don’t know anything about sex.” Harry’s could feel his eyes become the size of saucers. He hadn’t meant to blurt it like that! Damn that McGonagall stare!

In her defense, McGonagall didn’t look away or even look surprised. She simply kept her attention on him. “And?”

Harry wanted his chair to become sentient and man-eating and swallow him whole. It was a better way to die than by the complete and utter embarrassment slowly destroying him. He couldn’t look at her, his eyes focused on the corner of the desk where an ink stain seemed permanent.  

“Harry.”  That made him look up. It wasn’t often she called him by his first name. Her face was kind as she held out the biscuit tin again. “Take one.”

He followed her order this time, taking the shortbread with no intention of placing it in his twisted stomach.

“I’m guessing Sirius never got to have this… talk with you, huh?” Her tone was soothing, and honestly, that freaked him out almost as much as the topic… almost.

He shook his head once.

“Alright then.” She seemed to square her shoulders. “Once we finish this discussion we never speak of it again. Got it?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Harry moved his lips across Ginny’s jaw down to her throat. He loved the way her body seemed to hum as his attention moved south. This was their hidden part of the Burrow, their hideaway in the months since everything had ended. A place where no war had ever touched. Sadness didn’t thicken the air.  And best of all, no brothers around to glare daggers at Harry for touching their sister.

No; here he was free to kiss Ginny whenever he wanted and he wanted to now. His mouth glided across her semi-exposed collarbone and over to her shoulder. His hands, which had a mind of their own, had already reached up under her shirt and were steadily moving north.  Apparently, being this close to Ginny brought out the cartographer in Harry.

Just as his hands were about to touch the underside of the cotton that covered her breasts, an unwelcome voice popped into his head.

When a woman is aroused -

Harry tore his lips away from Ginny’s skin.

“Harry?” Her voice was confused. “What’s wrong?”

“Shit!” Harry murmured as he backed his body away from hers as if she were hot flame, “Shit! Damn it!

“Harry?” Ginny sat up from her indented section of grass. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“She’s in my head!”

“Okay…” Ginny tilted her head. “What ‘she’ are you talking about?  Because I should be the only she in your head when we’re snogging.”

Harry groaned, falling backward onto the ground. “Bloody McGonagall!”

There was silence. Harry covered his face with his hands. Then Ginny spoke in a tone full of suppressed mirth. “Well, I guess she’s hot in a stately way.”

That made Harry tear his hands from his face to look at her. The glee in her expression matched her earlier tone. “Ew, Gin! That’s not -” Ginny let out a snort. “Shut it. That’s not what I meant. She gave me the…”

“She gave you the?” Ginny’s brow quirked.

Maybe it would be easier to claim he had a thing for McGonagall’s glasses.

“The talk.”

“The talk? Like the talk?”

Harry wished he had the power to make a sinkhole appear, or maybe that the chair in McGonagall’s office had gotten a taste for humans. “Yeah. That talk.”

The silence returned. Harry didn't know how long they remained quiet. Finally, Ginny let out a giggle, then a another, and another, until she was full out laughing.

“Stop!” Harry groaned. “It was the worst moment of my life!”

“You've died twice.” Ginny reminded him.

He sat up. He looked her dead in the eye before saying, “Worst. Moment.”

Ginny let out a final cackle. She moved her body close to his, letting their breaths mix. “Maybe I can make it better.”

Summer is strange, perhaps it’s conditioning from school days, or maybe just the laziness that seems to settle over everyone when heat waves wriggle on the asphalt, but everything feels relaxed and comfortable. Well, except wearing anything denim and sitting on vinyl seats.  

Harry’d fully bought in to the whole atmosphere, taking a week off work to stay at home with his wild little family in their cozy country home.

Albus and Lily were spending the day at the seaside with Bill and Fleur’s brood, and Harry had become one with the hammock in the yard.

All in all, Harry was the most relaxed he’s been in a while. Especially after the way Ginny wished him a restful sleep the night before, and then the way he woke her up that morning. God being married was even better than he could’ve imagined.

Not that it’s all shits and giggles. Something he was reminded of when James wandered into the yard with a dramatic sigh, the one that always preceded a headache of a conversation and often a subsequent firecall with McGonagall.

“Dare I ask, James?”

The eldest Potter son flopped down in the soft grass next to Harry’s lounging spot with another sigh. “When did you get the - the talk?”

Tension wriggled up and down Harry’s spine, but he forced his voice to remain calm. “We - do you have more questions?  It’s not just the one talk and then we’re done. You can come to me whenever you have questions or ideas or - ”

Face scrunched, James flinched backward like he’d been slapped.  “Yeah but, Dad, it’s so... Who gave you the talk?”

Ah, even my least emotionally aware child doesn’t want to blurt out that my parents are dead.

“You mean since my mum and dad were gone?”

James grunted. “I was trying to be less-- abrupt. Mum said, well she said if I wasn’t careful I was going to say the wrong shite to the wrong person and get punched.”

“And?”

“And that it’s good to be nice,” James parrots.

“Right,” Harry agreed, letting his leg dangle over the edge of the hammock to set it swinging, “So, anyway. Back to your original question... not that I can really answer it.”

James pushed up on his palms and blinked at Harry, biting at his lip. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m not allowed to say who gave me the talk.” Or more accurately, I swore to myself I wouldn’t.  For my own sanity.

"Was it Sirius?"

Harry snorted, I wish. "Sure, we'll go with that. Not that anyone would believe the truth."

Wind rustled the trees, carrying the scent of mint from the flourishing bushes tucked on either side of the back door, and Harry took a deep breath as James grumbled, “Dad. Why do you have to make this so awkward?”

“Your life could be so much more awkward,” Harry grunted, “Count your blessings cupcake.”

And despite a somewhat rocky start, Harry did manage to dig James’ current romantic troubles out of him and provide some measure of clarity on the subject.  Being a teenager is a minefield even without homicidal fascist maniacs trying to kill you. Harry, at least, comforted himself that his kids had it better, safety wise and in terms of trustworthy adults on hand.

But there comes a point where even the most loving parent has to let their little chicks spread their wings and fly, even if it’s just to Hogwarts. And that little flight means Harry can shield them from things only so long.

Which meant when James returned to Scotland in the fall, he was a year older, twice as sarcastic, and trying on adult humor for size. They’d been studying long term effects of transfiguration on the human body and he’d just delivered a highly witty (or immature, depending on whom you ask) one liner when a throat cleared behind him.

Since when do professors linger near the student’s tables during dinner? Dad would say it’s the height of stupidity to rely on assumptions based solely on usual activity. He also probably would have laughed because the joke was funny. Mum would probably say doing anything under McGonagall’s watchful eye was a gamble and the joke wasn’t quite enough to risk it.

But, spilled milk, glare ice, and such.  He was now facing down not just a Professor, but Headmistress McGonagall and all that office entails, while she eyed him with an inscrutable expression.

Grinning nervously, James maintained eye contact - a tip from Uncle George - while his supposed mates inched toward the opposite end of the table. The loser speaks first - that’s from Uncle Percy - so James holds his tongue.  

McGonagall quirked her brow as her lips tightened almost imperceptibly before she murmured, “I see your father has passed on my lesson.”

“I - what?”

The hours pass in a haze and around ten, James penned a vague letter and sent it off with his owl, Matilda, with explicit instructions to deliver it to his dad immediately. The common room had long since cleared, save a few seventh years waist deep in NEWTs prep, and James laid across the plush rug in front of the fireplace in a sort of malaise.  

Until the flames flared green and his dad’s face looked up at him worriedly. “James? Are you alright?”

James rolled onto his side. “You didn’t go through McGonagall?”

“You said not to. I had to use the fireplace in my office at the Ministry to get in.”

“Sorry, Dad.”

Harry smiled. “S’alright. So long as you’re alright. Hopefully there weren’t any members of the press lingering around to get a shot of Harry Potter in his pants.”

“You didn’t put on trousers?  It’s not that important,” James nearly shrieked, lowering his voice when he gets a few death glares from sleep deprived students.

That earned him a loud bark of a laugh from his dad and a rueful shake of the head. “James, your letter was almost unreadable and said, and I quote, ‘It is a matter of the utmost importance, please contact me by floo at your earliest convenience.’”

Shrugging, James ran a shaky hand through his hair. “What? Gran says young gentlemen should use good grammar and letter etiquette.”

“Yes, but your dad is an auror and knows his kids,” Harry put in, “And you never use complete sentences unless you’re terrified. And then the whole ‘avoid McGonagall thing’ - you know where my mind jumped.”

“Such a drama queen, Dad,” James teased, feeling the tension begin to leave his body at the familiar banter.

“Hm. It’s hereditary.  Do with that what you will. And now, let’s get to the guts spilling part.”

“Well, at dinner tonight I was with my friends and McGonagall - ”

“How much trouble are we talking?”

James raised his hands defensively. “No trouble! Just. How did we get here?”

Harry frowned. “We? You mean - did you not get the talk we had?”

“I mean how in the world did you,” James winced and sent a glance over his shoulder before continuing in a whisper, “shag when McGonagall is the one who told you about it?”

Harry’s a really sympathetic parent, almost too much according to Ginny. When James flooded the dungeons with his latest ‘experiment’, Harry argued detention for being caught out after hours was enough.  When Lily Luna’s accidental magic ended with a couple of nasty kids at her birthday party getting a free hair dye, Harry’d said her love for Teddy was admirable and it was good that she protected people she cared about, that she stuck up for bullies.  

Ginny was mildly persuaded on the first, particularly since it seemed James’ foray into potioneering was for academic purposes.  Lily’s was a harder sell, particularly when the Muggle Protection Squad had to show up and subtly alter remembrances of the afternoon.

Comparatively, Albus has been a pretty calm child, except for his tendency to want to touch and poke everything. Wet paint? Check. Neville’s semi-poisonous and highly experimental saber-toothed Snargaluff? In a second. But generally speaking, he’s less dramatic than the other two.  

Which is why when Albus came home during Winter hols in sixth year and threw himself across the lounge seat in Harry’s home office, it was a bit of a red flag. “Dad. Sixth year is horrible.”

Harry glanced up from the folders, papers, and other garbage that littered his desk and laughed. “It’s not all that bad.”

“You don’t understand - ”

“That won’t work until seventh year,” Harry snickered, “And I’ll gladly pass all your final year struggles to Mum.”

“I mean, your seventh year was kinda shitty.”

“Sixth year was worse.”

Albus slumped lower on the couch and twisted his face toward Harry. “Isn’t that when you and Mum?”

“She was a bright spot in an otherwise awful three-hundred-and-sixty-five days,” Harry began gathering up a few of his pens, highlighters, and whatever other tools he’d managed to pile all over his desk in the last day and a half, “I appreciate your lack of mock hurling when I say shite like that.”

“I’m mature. Back to the main issue though, not all of us can have a world saving prophecies hanging over our heads at sixteen. S’not really fair to hold my teen angst to that standard.”

Harry fiddled with the sleeve of his jumper, “Al - that was far from the worst part of my sixth.”

“I feel like that’s a lie, but I’ll bite,” Albus said, “At least I’ll forget about my own mess of a life.”

A shout sounded from upstairs, followed by a thud and more shouting. Harry wondered if he’d need to pause this heart to heart when Ginny’s own voice joined the fray.  God she’s amazing.  They could really use a night off...or maybe a weekend.  A long one.  And he could visit that little shop in London with the lacy bits she likes…

Harry cleared his throat and refocused. “Mess? Are you seeing anyone? Is that what you’re having trouble with? I can - ”

Albus threw a cushion over his face and groaned. “Oh God, Dad! Can we not have the talk? We did whatever that was before my second year and I’ve picked up a few things since then so.

“Let’s hope you didn’t pick up anything - we really should have another discussion, there’s more to talk about.”

Punching the pillow over his face, Albus murmured, “I think I might actually die from embarrassment.”

“Trust me, this is a better option than...you know what, I’ll give you a way out.”

Albus sat up and let the cushion fall to the carpet, his hair a ruffled mess around his flushed face. Poor kid. Harry can only imagine what he looked like twenty or so years ago…

“You can hear it from me, or learn how I did.”

They had a staring contest of sorts, Albus considering his father and his options, probably also regretting the chain of events that set him up for the current state of affairs. But life happens and so, inevitably, do hormones. “I want more details before I decide.”

Harry smirked and rounded his desk, settling in the armchair across from Albus.  “Well you know Remus was hardly around and Sirius had…”

James groaned as he crossed out another word in his pitiful excuse for a potions essay. Assigning them three feet on Veritaserum during the winter holidays was just cruel.  Why should he be forced to think about saliva from a chimaera while his brother and sister were free to do whatever?

Crumpling his third attempt, James threw his head back so it thudded against the kitchen wall. He closed his eyes. He only had to complete this one assignment, then he would be free for the rest of the holidays. Next time, he wouldn’t complain about his homework in the car ride home. If his parents hadn’t known about the damn paper…

“You know chimaera’s have the head of a goat not a sheep, right?” James opened his eyes to look at his twelve year-old brother, Albus, reading his most recent attempt.

“Have you ever seen one up close?” James asked sardonically.

Albus shrugged one shoulder. “No, and clearly neither have you.”

James was ready to kick something. First off, he’d been working his arse off for over two hours on this assignment, and now Albus decided to come into his work zone and be a sarcastic little shit. He wasn’t in the mood for this. Yes, he was ready kick something and was definitely leaning toward it being Albus’ arse.

Before he could tell his brother as much, Lily rushed into the kitchen eyes wide with panic. “James!”

She barreled into him. Being ten, she was no light feather. James let out a small grunt. “What, Lily?”

“I think Mummy is hurt.”

That was enough for both brothers to spring into action. “What do you mean?” Albus asked as they heading in the direction Lily came from.

“I think I heard her scream!” Lily moved as quickly as her little legs would carry her. “She’s in her room.”

That made James’ pace stutter. He came to a stop on the first step to the upper floor. “Uh, Lily, do you know if Dad was with her?”

And now Albus paused. He gave his brother a wary look. “Oh… I hope not.”

Lily, however, didn’t know what her brothers silently agreed upon. “Yeah. I saw Daddy close the door earlier when I was reading the book about Hungarian Horntails Uncle Charlie gave me.”

“Ew!” Albus shuddered. James closed his eyes hoping the images of his parents doing -- that -- wouldn’t possess his brain.

But of course, it was at that moment he heard what could only be described as a happy moan come from the direction of his parents’ room.

“Oh! Do you think Mummy and Daddy are okay?” Lily asked, her fear almost palpable.

“If I had to place a bet,” James scrunched up his nose and grumbled to himself, “I’d place a thousand galleons on them being more than okay.”

Albus’ expression had taken on a look of pure, unadulterated horror. “We need to leave!”

“Do you think Uncle George would mind wiping my memory?”

“I know that’s how we got here, but…” Albus’ voice hung off as he visually had to shake off his demons.

“And I thought it was the stork,” James claimed sarcastically.

“Uncle Ron mentioned something about a pumpkin patch when I asked him,” Lily supplied helpfully, comforted by her brother’s lighthearted if odd banter.

“Yes, that works, Lily.”

“Gin.”

James flinched at the tone of his father’s voice. Nope! This wasn’t happening! “Come on!” He grabbed his siblings by their arms and led them to the fireplace. “We’re going to grandmum’s!”  

Harry rolled onto his back, trying to catch his breath. “So did I fulfill your orders?”

Ginny let out a low laugh. “Every box was checked, and then some.”

“Good, I would have hated to - “ Harry paused as heard the sound of the floo firing up. “Who’s here?”

Ginny already had one leg in her jeans. “With our luck it will be Ron. His timing is still the worst.”

Once she threw a shirt over her head, Ginny headed down to the sitting room to greet their visitor. Harry followed his wife’s lead, but no one was there.

“What the…?” Harry looked to the sofa which had a de-crumpled piece of parchment resting on cushion. He picked it up and choked on his own salva. “Gin!”

She came back from the kitchen. “Yeah?”

“No one is here, but… uh…”

“But what, Harry?”

He couldn’t speak any more. He handed her the note. It only took her a few seconds to understand the message, then she started laughing.

Only one word was scrolled in their eldest son’s messy handwriting in big, bold letters. Silencio!

“I think the kids may have heard us, dear,” Ginny said through her laughter, “That’s what we get for trusting our kids to keep themselves busy for a quarter of an hour.”

“Where do you think they went?” Harry asked, “And it was at least three quarters of an hour, Gin.”

“Most likely Mum’s, they know they can get biscuits there.” Ginny set down the note and moved her finger to trace his jaw. “Care to join me back in our room?”

“How does James know that spell? It’s a sixth year lesson.”

Ginny changed tactics. She pressed her lips to his chin then to his lips. “We can talk about what our son is doing in his free time later.”  

Harry lifted up his piece of toast absentmindedly, his attention on the Daily Prophet in front of him. Another quiet morning. Ever since Lily had left for Hogwarts, the Potter household was more often than not relatively calm. Sure, he and Ginny could throw some raging parties (typically consisting of only them, a bottle of cheap wine, and minimal clothing), but kids seemed to keep a house constantly alive.

“Anything interesting?” Ginny asked, taking a sip from her coffee mug.

“Not really.” Harry snorted at the front cover, as he folded the pages back to a convenient size. “Just Chip having another affair again.”

“Chip Greene? The one who -”

“Who would always flirt and try to get you to go home with him after you played against each other? Yeah.” Harry’s annoyance with the old Cannons player was still higher than a kite. “That Chip.”

“I don’t know why he ever thought I would want to become another notch on his bedpost.” Ginny mused as she cleaned up her breakfast plates. “I doubt he had any clue what he was doing.”

Harry grimaced. Now his mind fell back onto his talks with James and Albus. Merlin, those had been horrible… horrible… It was at that moment Harry’s mind started to connect dots. Ginny had forced Harry to have-- that-- talk with James just after he turned twelve. Same with Albus. Lily had just started her second year at Hogwarts. Her twelfth birthday had been right at the end of her first year… Twelfth birthday…

“Gin?” Harry tried to complete his breathing exercises. Percy’s wife had recommended them after a traumatic case. He needed to stop his mind from jumping off the plank into the shark-infested waters.

“Hmm?”

“Did you and Lily ever have the - ” Harry had to swallow the lump expanding in his throat. “The talk.” He lowered his tone at his final words.

Ginny snorted. “You mean the sex talk?”

Ugh! There were two words he didn’t want to be combined. His daughter and sex. He could only nod.

Damn, he wished he didn’t find that smirk on Ginny’s face so endearing.

“Not yet,” Ginny’s tone matched her amused expression. “I figured we could wait a little longer with Lily. I thought the best moment would be when she got her first period.”

And another word Harry had no desire to hear in relation to his daughter. He let out a breath. At least Lily wouldn’t be dealing with boys yet. It was then that a vivid and dreadful imagine appeared in his head.

His second year… Seamus chatting with Parvati Patil in hopes of getting her to kiss him… he had been twelve… just like Lily and her classmates.

“Ginny, we gotta floo up to Hogwarts.”

Ginny paused her motion of putting the now clean mug into the cupboard, and turned to face him “And why is that?”  

“We need - I need -” Harry wasn’t quite sure how to explain that he needed to keep the entire male species away from his daughter without making Ginny roll her eyes. Instead of coming up with a calm, rational explanation he blurted, “I know how they think!”

“How ‘who’ thinks?” Ginny’s was using the tone she used with an upset child.

“Boys,” He spit the word out like venom. “Them and their wandering eyes… I’ll die a third time before any of them looks at my baby like that.”

Ginny’s body started to shake. Harry’s mind, at first, thought she was agreeing with him, that her fear of the heinous boys in Lily’s class made her shiver. This, however, was not the case. Harry’s beautiful, logical wife was shaking with suppressed laughter.

“This is why,” Ginny choked down a giggle, “George calls you a drama queen.”

Harry huffed out a breath. “I never considered that an accurate title.” His fingers started to tap against the table. “We need to get up there and stop any fraternizing.” A cruel thought popped into his head. “If McGonagall talked to them -”

Ginny couldn’t stop her laughter now. “Merlin, Harry! They’re twelve. The worst they’re gonna do is hold hands and maybe kiss once or twice.”

“That’s once or twice too much!”

“You know what, though?” Ginny looked thoughtful. “McGonagall did a good job teaching you. Maybe she should start a sex ed class.”

Harry’s ranting mind came to a sudden halt. “Aw, Ginny. Don’t say things like that!” Chills ran up his spine.

“Like what?” Ginny smirked at him as she took the empty chair beside him. “That McGonagall taught you well? It’s true.” Her expression could only be described as evil. “I guess I should be thanking her for my seventeenth birthday present, huh?”

With a thud, Harry’s forehead collided with the table. He turned his neck so he could make eye contact with his wife. “Ginny! You can’t talk to McGonagall about your seventeenth!”

Ginny clearly wasn’t listening to Harry’s order. “Do you ever wonder how she became so educated in the subject?”

“Ginny.” Harry could hear how whiny his own voice had become, but at that moment he didn’t care. “I’ve become a relatively well-adjusted person all things considered, so I need you to stop trying to hurt me.”

Again, his wife didn’t seem to care about his pleas. “You know what? I bet she was a real hit with the blokes. With that stern attitude and tight bun… then the moment they entered the bedroom and she became a freak in the sheets -”

Harry groaned as he sat up. “Merlin, is this my own version of Hell?”  

Ginny leaned over and flicked his nose. “Don’t be such a baby!”

“Wipe my memory, Gin!”

“Seriously?”

“Never mind.” Harry reached across the table to a blank piece of parchment. “I’m Head Auror. I can order a memory removal.”

Ginny snatched the parchment away from him before he could grab a quill. “Harry, you’re almost forty-years-old. You can’t believe McGonagall is still a virgin.”

Harry took his now vacant hands and covered his ears. “Can’t hear you, Gin!”

“So you are a baby.” Ginny shook her head. Then, her eyes sparkled with a look Harry knew all too well. It was the warning sign to some serious cheek. “You know, I wonder if she has any new tips for us.”

“Stop right there!”

Ginny plucked the forgotten quill from Harry’s side and started to write. She read her words loudly, over-pronouncing as she wrote, “Dear Headmistress McGonagall.”

“Ginny I will divorce you,” Harry claimed weakly.

Ginny snorted. “Sure you will, babe.” But she put the quill down and turned back towards him. Her eyes blazed all to attractively. “You won’t be able to resist me after my tutoring sessions with McGonagall. I bet she’s even updated her curriculum, you should ask if her class had a lifelong guarantee.”

“Hey!” Harry protested. “I think I’m rather competent. I certainly didn't hear you complaining last night!”

Ginny gave him a coquettish grin. “Come on, you can’t tell me your not even slightly enticed by,” she confiscated his glasses off his nose, placing them on her own so the lenses made her bright, brown eyes wider than ever, “Professor Weasley.”

“First off, it’s Potter. And second, no.”

Ginny stood from her chair and took up residence in his lap, his hands automatically held her steady by the waist. She moved her mouth up his jaw and to his ear. Harry sucked in a breath as her teeth grazed his earlobe. “While you do exceed expectations, Mr Potter, I think you could benefit from some,” one of her hands threaded into his hair, “One on one lessons.”

Harry couldn’t prevent a moan from escaping his lips as Ginny ran her tongue back down his jawline. “Why - Why are you doing this?”

Ginny leaned back, so Harry could take in her full glory. “You know the glasses are hot.” Her gaze could have melted his insides to mush and her glasses-- his glasses-- Wait a moment.

“When did you transfigure my glasses to look like McGonagall’s?”

“Ah, I knew you’d remember these old things.”

“Ginny!” Harry moaned again, in a different manner this time.

Ginny placed her hand on his cheek, her lips twisted in a small smile. “It’s alright, Harry. I know she was your first love.”

“Please…”

“I mean,” Ginny shrugged, “Who didn’t have a naughty dream about her at least once or twice.”

“Why…”

“Harry, it’s really okay.” She patted his cheek. “I mean, I understand completely. If you could have only seen my dreams of Flitwick,” she made an exaggerated fanning motion her hands, “Hot damn!”

“Ginny, I -” It was then his brain started to comprehend what she had just said. “Wait. What? Flitwick? What the fuck?”

“That was the idea.”

“This is - Flitwick?”

“Don’t get me started on Sprout.”

“Ginny!”

“Merlin, when you got Sinistra out in the moonlight.” Ginny deliberately licked her lips. “Damn.”

“Just -” Harry’s mind had left, unable to keep up with Ginny’s words. “Just - not Snape, right? Please.”

Ginny shook her head, a look of disgust on her face. “Oh no! That snooty upturned nose was such a turn-off, and don’t get me started on his apparent aversion to personal hygiene.” She then smiled dreamily. “But Slughorn. Now there was a potions professor.”

“Well, now you’re just being mean.”

“There was no silly wand waving in that dungeon…” She gave him an appeased look. “They knew what they were doing. Do you think McGonagall taught them too?”

Harry let his forehead fall on her shoulder. “Do you want to never have sex again?”

Ginny let out a dramatic sigh. “Well, if you can’t give me what I need,” she sighed again, “I’ll have to go to the source. Do you think Minerva's free tonight?”

And that was Harry’s limit. “You know what.” He lifted his head, placed his arms underneath Ginny’s legs and lifted her into his arms and then up over his shoulder. “There will be no more of this cheek. We’re not leaving the bedroom until you can’t remember who McGonagall even is.”

Ginny laughed as Harry carried her up the stairs. “Oh big claims there, Potter. I look forward to your practical exam.”

[gardenbiriety]

eeeekkkk christmas is the worst for dysphoria honestly

uhm so sui tw and family shit and just generally bad thoughts ahead 

yikes so i used to really like christmas but now its literally just??? how can i navigate my family without making my parents hate me and without wanting to kill myself more than usual and i forgto this part every year until we have to have dinner w ppl and i just? realise how? my family doesn’t give two shits abt me at all except for my brothers lmao like??? i’ve literally said calling me my deadname makes me feel like sshit and my ma wont fucking believe me until i fucking kill myself and even then? she would just say i was being selfish what a cunt honestly

like i acctually forget that im not ok and then i remeber when i said ‘since ur fmily i guess i can’t make u but i’d really fucking love it if u called me roman ‘ and my uuncle legit was like ‘well im still gonna call u deadname ‘ like thAnks dickhead if i didn’t love my lil counsin (and only one bc her younger brother is such a dick (he’s like 11 so  i try not t hate him) but he’s really fucking violent to his sister and whenever he hurts her she just doesn’t say anything but she accidently (or on purpose,,, but thats rareer bc shes such a sweetie ok i love her) but she tripped him on one fo thsoe big jumping pillow things and i (an almost adult at the time, this was like 6months to a year ago) had to physically get inbetween them bc he was determined to hurt her and he gets away with all sorts of shitty and cruel behaviour and she doesn’t even get away with retaliating and i lvoe her so much and it makes me so mad? but anyway she’s the only person (and maybe my aunt but less) who i like from their sect of the family and we have to have dinner with them and im gonna screm bc every time i see him i remember that and honestly????? 0/10 

but that doesn’t hurt as much as the facct that? my ma still doesn’t believe me? like i fucking started hurting myself when i was 12 but sure..... this is some sort of fucking phase and im just ‘wanting to be different too badly’ (fuck her honestly) im so???? i shouldn’t have to feel this shit and i probably wouldn’t if she just grew the fuck up and let me be???? like????? i dont give a fuck if u ‘always wanted a daughter’ ya didn’t fucking get one and ur gonna lose ur oldest kid if u keep this shit up like idk how long i can deal with her but i also ant leave and i dont know what to do and if i’m not working enough (to her satisfaction anyway) next year she’s actually going to have at me and i just????? i want to get out but there is nowhere to go because nowhere is safe im fucking???/ im stuck and i dont want to be here anymore 

is it that hard to take me seriously???? once i fucking pulled a muscle in my neck at someone elses house and they rung my ma to ask if i could have panadol and i was crying over the phone and she still accused me of faking (recently she told me she thought i had gotten addicted to drugs when i was in america for like? twenty days? because i had fucking panadol and ibprofen in my bag bc i didn’t realise ibprofen was not panadol and didn’t do the same thing and i wasn’t just gonna? chuck it out???) honestly i’ve fucking had enough 

AnD alSo she is always grumpy / easy to anger bc of work / her general suppression of emotions / ect and takes it out on us w/o consquence and i pointed it out and she legit just said ‘yeah but im an adult tho’ like???? honestly fuck u you dont get to do that iim so mad and im so sad and i fucking dont even know if theres any point? trying to maintain out relationship? like i love her but fuck she is not good for me at all and has, consistently, for years, managed to ruin almost all of my good days with a single word and i just fucking???? i’ve had enough and i cant be bothered anymore like all she does is set off bother my anxiety and dysphoria and screams at me until i get out of bed which makes it? even harder to get out next time??? she is still trying to manage my life and shit like???  fuck u??? if i need help ill ask otherwise leave me alone (ofc when i ask for help she’s fckign shiitty abt that too honestly ‘ask if u dont know’ ‘except if its ‘common sense’ or smth that i already know and u, also, somehow, telepathically do to’ like sometimes i jsut wanna ask for reassurance!!!! fuck u!!! jsut say yes / no and move the  fuck on it’s not that hard u dont have to be a cunt

i’ve been on the verge of tears for two days but its g its chill im just gonna have to make sure my ds is charged before the crhistmas family dinner and pray nobody writes my fucking deadname on any gifts bc seeing it written honestly causes me physical pain and accepting it will also do that fuck me theres nothing i can do except send judgmental looks (but on the downlow bc i dont waanna be ‘disrepecctful’ and have them dramatically try and take the gift back even tho i dont rlly care abt whatever shit they got me my ma would kill me) im so tired i can’t wait until i dont have to speak to these people ever again 

[thecharizardfromhell]

Lily orchard fan fics ranked out of boredom

Least stinky to utter shite smell

1. Whispering Illusion (precursor to TotV) . Basically Family Guy by way of the emo though was never archived its a tale of an angel rescuing Meg Griffin from her family with all the fake edge and gracefulness of me listening to Evanescence and writing poems about life sucking in high school. Great for a sensible chuckle or two

2. TotV (excluding Doomsday and Scars). A messy dumb loud and edgy screed about angels killing God, America and all their enemies. Has weirdly fascist connotations that I believe were accidental but honestly that makes it a bit funnier.

3.Her WoW fic -has one disturbing out of nowhere rape scene but usually sticks to bland mediocre uwu I love Sylvanas uwu stuff

4. Doomsday Ascending- a TotV fic about Ascentia conquering Equestria and Twilight Sparkle's heart. Some disturbing yet hilarious implications (she married a talking horse) .

5. Animal Magnetism - Pokephilia basically but at least it's written as consensual I guess still weird to me . It's mostly known by only its base plot so to be honest that's all we have to go on

6- Sith Resurgence- she bastardized Luke and Leia *anger hisssssss*. Lots of weirdly abusive moments from Aliana (Lily's overpowered star wars OC) constantly being retconned so people over look that . It's mostly a power trip fantasy . Also that darn sibling incest conversation

7-Scars- sighh only a few remnants of this remain but they're not great . One Is about a Therapist telling a woman it's ok for her kid to be attracted to her because lesbian . The other has a woman's mother do a strip tease at her bachelorette party . Ew.

8-Pokemadhouse- Between the implications of sexual assault and abuse, the abuse towards Mismagius and other Pokémon who justifiably dont like G, the stale sexual tension, the ex name dropping and the short badly resolved plots this isn't a good webcomic

9-Stockholm-one word: pedoshit though there's much more to give this series the worst spot

[aspaceform3]

at 25 we're battling with:

Alopecia

Jawline

Muelas del juicio

depression

understanding and accpeting the way our brain works

lack of iron

lack of zinc

lack of every vitamin possible over the amount of stress and -not eating correctly- at parents

bone problems

social problems bc autism

your adhd how the fuck do we focus on shit

sociañ anxiety ew

family problems

fighting trauma

not working and feeling like shite bc of it

in process of being put in dependecia money

and then the usual every 25 year old goes through i guess

[jobone123]

When I have desert why talk Boston n CHICAGO4

We always wondered why island would be in desert because downtown s like these ADD MOST IMPORTANTLY SNOW when red won silver won gold son should be the worlds IT SHOWED

Yes I saw platinum silver WHITE win over piss yellow

Too hot or too cold would be ACCIDENT because rash# pregnant# HEAT blacks but 2 failed Sciencetist was right SORRY I WAS THINK BROWN SUNTANS not ACCIDENT over cooked black# ewe# SHITING N NOT TURNING WHITE BUT OVERTIME WHY WOULD YOU SHOWER TRYING TO TURN BLACK DUH anyways

With all the boys dead MAYBE we should leave black ops alone because brown is fuckingwith whites son but doesn't have JAYSON clearance to drink n would of turned black dirt SAINT BJ 3 day old food Poisoning puke# everyone deserves to be loved #1

When reference gold SHOWERS everyday you STOLE that from YACHT JAYSON let me guess I got your back PEDIFILE mike told you BUT I WARNED HIM BEFORE I KILLED HIM N HIS FAMILY over a canal boat GET OFF MY DICK YOU NIGGER LOVER but as in nowhere to go I was his only check BORN WITH A SISTER it's a lie gold men cant SHOWER n dont know dirt THERE PRACTICALLY BROWN#

Holding JAYSON a VIRGINITY is forcing him to be a son# blood# I feel like bae no choice

Back to Mic or mic3

[ikallawrites]

ya got me doin the evens....go do the odds :D

Eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :fingerguns: Here you are gurl

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?no. ew. ech. gross.

3. Have you taken someones virginity?NO. GROSS. SEX.

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?That I like platonically. Yes. Aka, my family. (Last time I hung out with my friend was before she left me behind in california )^:

7. What happened tonight?I drew a cute picture. I played some games. I watched people post pictures of potatos in pince nez’s

9. Is confidence cute?ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY. CONFIDENT GUYS. CONFIDENT GALS. CONFIDENT PALS. CUTEST FUCKERS ON THE PLANET. BE CONFIDENT IN YOURSELF CAUSE YOU CUTE.

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?Uh……………… my dad, my brother, my friend crunchy…. 3

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?it is saturday night and I’m doing exactly what I’m doing right now. chilling with the bros and playing some final fantasy xiv.

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?the last person I kissed was mom and dad so no.

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?My mom and my friend windy :3c

19. Have you had sex today?ew. nuff said.

21. Are you in a good mood?no. ): Couldn’t fall asleep until dawn yesterday and woke up really late and groggy and feeling like a complete trash can. but getting better \o/

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?yes. :3

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?well the person I love is my family so you know mom and dad are always kissing each other and big bro has girlfriends. The people I like are my friends and I wholly and unconditionally support them and their wishes to kiss other people :3c

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?no. fuck that

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?MY FRIENDS WINDY AND CRUNCHY. WHEN WILL YOU RETURN FROM THE WAR ;_; COME BACK TO ME FRIENDS

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?NAH. my fc boys are the fucking bomb and I love each and every one of them. Even if most of them are evil little shites.

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?nope. I love soda! \o/ but i don’t get it often ;_;

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?Yes actually :D I have the worst handwriting but I do when I’m working on stuff.

37. Do you believe in love at first sight?I believe in physical attraction at first sight and love that can bloom from it afterwards?

39. Who was the last person you danced with?Sometime at the end of senior year of college I was taking a ballroom dance class and danced with the guys in my class. It was fun. we did the salsa B)

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?Never. I don’t like cupcakes ):

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?maybe when I was like 10 and didn’t realize I didn’t need to try and find myself a cute boy to enjoy my life the way it was.

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?Kissed mom and dad so no! :3

47. Who was the last person to call you?uhmmmm… dad to wake me up today to let me know they had gotten me burgers for lunch.

49. Do you dance in the car?with the right people, yes.

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?ich. senior photo?

53. Is Christmas stressful?nah. just christmas.

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?i don’t like pie )^:

57. Do you believe in ghosts?no. because if I did i would’ve already made friends with one cause i’m sure they’ve got a lotta life lessons to teach the living

59. Take a vitamin daily?no. used to (because my health is garbage) but could never keep it up.

61. Wear a bath robe?don’t own one )^:

63. First concert?Steven Wilson in Los Angeles. I forget the details. Friend took me cause he’s obsessed with the dude’s music.

65. Nike or Adidas?Neither. they’re just shoes.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?UGHHHH. BOTH?????

69. Ever take dance lessons?yes!

71. Can you curl your tongue?nope ): my mom and bro can tho

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?I’ve cried from laughing too hard so yes :)

75. Do you study better with or without music?with

77. Ever been in love?i love my family and my friends so yes

79. What was the last concert you saw?Kingdom Hearts Orchestra World Tour in Tokyo :3

81. Tea or coffee?Tea!

83. Can you swim well?hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha hahaha haha ha no

85. Are you patient?with good people. yes.

87. Ever won a contest?;3 yep! Definitely played piano competitively for 14 years and won a lot of competitions.

89. Which are better black or green olives?ew

91. Best room for a fireplace?I dunno. But somewhere with nice big windows and comfy chairs so you can sit and read and be warm and happy \o/