#examples of masking

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

What Is Masking?

Mrs Speechie Pi

[dykekarkat]

neil knowing that his distrust of wymack and his physical reactions to him are from the experiences he's had with his father but his inability to recognize the discomfort he feels around renee and betsy as something that could be connected to his mother...ive gotta put this boy in a lab for real...

[bennetsbonnet]

Much has been made of Mr Darcy's "confession" to Elizabeth that he does not converse easily with strangers. It is repeatedly used to support neurodivergent interpretations of his character. And I suppose that when taken at face value, a character confessing that they do not easily converse with strangers and struggle to catch their tone or appear interested in conversation can absolutely scream AUTISM! (I say as an autistic person myself)

But this line is often taken in isolation. When considered in terms of the passage in which it appears in Chapter 31, it appears far less of a smoking gun than may initially be suspected. After some discussion about Elizabeth and Darcy's prior acquaintance in Hertfordshire, Colonel Fitzwilliam asks Elizabeth for information about Darcy's behaviour there. She readily supplies it:

'Pray let me hear what you have to accuse him of,' cried Colonel Fitzwilliam. 'I should like to know how he behaves among strangers.' 'You shall hear then—but prepare yourself for something very dreadful. The first time of my ever seeing him in Hertfordshire, you must know, was at a ball—and at this ball, what do you think he did? He danced only four dances, though gentlemen were scarce; and, to my certain knowledge, more than one young lady was sitting down in want of a partner. Mr Darcy, you cannot deny the fact.' 'I had not at that time the honour of knowing any lady in the assembly beyond my own party.'

What Darcy leaves out here is that it was he himself who chose not to be introduced to anybody. As we learn from the description of his behaviour at the Meryton assembly in Chapter 3:

Mr Darcy danced only once with Mrs Hurst and once with Miss Bingley, declined being introduced to any other lady, and spent the rest of the evening in walking about the room, speaking occasionally to one of his own party.

Anyway, Elizabeth correctly does not buy his excuses. Not only does she respond with a cutting sarcastic remark, but she tries to bring the discussion with an end by speaking to Colonel Fitzwilliam:

'True; and nobody can ever be introduced in a ball-room. Well, Colonel Fitzwilliam, what do I play next? My fingers wait your orders.'

But Darcy does not get the hint and continues conversing with Elizabeth rather than quitting while he's ahead. However, I don't believe him to be missing a social cue here. Rather, this is an exceedingly conceited man who cannot conceive that anyone would not want to speak to such a Superior Being as he and more-so, is determined to defend himself from a perceived slight against his impeccable character.

Then we come to the passage containing the oft-cited line which allegedly contains proof of his neurodivergency:

'Perhaps,' said Darcy, 'I should have judged better, had I sought an introduction; but I am ill-qualified to recommend myself to strangers.' 'Shall we ask your cousin the reason of this?' said Elizabeth, still addressing Colonel Fitzwilliam. 'Shall we ask him why a man of sense and education, and who has lived in the world, is ill-qualified to recommend himself to strangers?' 'I can answer your question,' said Fitzwilliam, 'without applying to him. It is because he will not give himself the trouble.'

Once again, Elizabeth does not buy his excuse for even a single second. She's fully aware of all the advantages a man such as he will have received in society (opportunities not open to women, might I add!) and draws attention to that fact. It's a brilliant, cutting line from her and she really set that one up for Colonel Fitzwilliam to deliver the knockout blow.

Not only do we have the testimony of Mr Darcy's cousin, that 'he will not give himself the trouble,' to appear cordial to strangers, but we have evidence from Wickham too. Although after this statement, Wickham quickly goes onto misrepresent Darcy's kindness to the poor, which contradicts Mrs Reynold's later testimony, I do believe Wickham to be telling the truth (for once!) here, when he tells Elizabeth in Chapter 16:

'Mr Darcy can please where he chooses. He does not want abilities. He can be a conversible companion if he thinks it worth his while.'

Which, again, demonstrates that Darcy is capable when he wants to be. That is the crucial point. Autistic people fundamentally lack the ability to understand social cues, they cannot turn it on and off as they please because they are snobs.

So, now we come to the infamous line about Darcy's supposed social struggles, and I hope that I've provided enough context to the line to make you see that it should not be taken at face value:

'I certainly have not the talent which some people possess,' said Darcy, 'of conversing easily with those I have never seen before. I cannot catch their tone of conversation, or appear interested in their concerns, as I often see done.' 'My fingers,' said Elizabeth, 'do not move over this instrument in the masterly manner which I see so many women’s do. They have not the same force or rapidity, and do not produce the same expression. But then I have always supposed it to be my own fault—because I will not take the trouble of practising. It is not that I do not believe my fingers as capable as any other woman’s of superior execution.'

Again, Elizabeth is not buying his excuses for even a single second and tells him if he feels like that, maybe he should put the effort in. She has seen him in numerous social settings and been thoroughly unimpressed with his behaviour which, when you consider his rudeness to her at the Meryton assembly, she has every right to be.

So, what do I make of the line?

Well, I think it's abundantly clear that Darcy absolutely can speak to people when he wants to. Perhaps, in his mind, he struggles to make that deeper connection and make friends easily. But making friends is not always easy, it's a process you must invest time and effort into. If you do not do that, it stands to reason that you will struggle. Plus, if you hold others to ridiculous standards (as Darcy does) without recognising and fixing the flaws within yourself, you're not going to have deep, lasting friendships.

While this quote may appear to be a moment of vulnerability where he does confess a fault of his, which is astounding given his pride, personally I do not think it was not a soul-searching exercise. It was to make Elizabeth stop grilling him. It was self-serving. Although, I don't think he's entirely lying. Darcy is veeeery careful with his words and though this statement is not considered and perhaps comes out rather abruptly, it doesn't necessarily follow that it isn't true. I can imagine that it is probably something he's felt for a while, yet it is a rather desperate attempt to defend himself from a woman who sees right through him.

I think perhaps Darcy does realise that he isn't as naturally gifted as other men he knows (such as Wickham, Colonel Fitzwilliam and Mr Bingley) when it comes to forming acquaintances. However, he looks outwards and turns that bitterness against the world rather than looking inwards, reflecting upon himself and improving his manners which would be the correct thing to do. Thankfully, he later does this, but it took him twenty eight years...

In addition, Darcy appeared to have been under the illusion that he could coast by on Pemberley's reputation... which has always worked... until he met Elizabeth. For perhaps the first time, he encounters a woman who is not awestruck by him and his reputation and delivers the rebuke that he always needed.

So, while personally I'm inclined to believe there is some truth to his statement, as Mr Darcy is many things but he isn't a liar, I think it is said in desperation. His feeling stems from him knowing what he should do, but he can't be bothered to enact it... rather than any inherent social deficiency stemming from being neurodivergent.

Although, even if he does struggle socially, it's still no excuse for the rudeness he displayed to Elizabeth! My main issue with neurodivergent readings of Darcy is when they are deployed to defend his behaviour, when they attribute his rudeness to any potential neurodivergency and when they excuse his laziness. That is an awful message! Autistic people who struggle with social cues often do not, nor should they, go around insulting others. They should and often do put plenty of effort into being considerate and polite. In fact, I think, if anything, a love of rules makes us more likely to have good manners, rather than the reverse.

Ultimately, I'm not sure this line makes Mr Darcy the sympathetic-poor-sweet-innocent-shy-boy-autistic-representation that people want him to be. In fact it makes him look even worse, if anything. On matters such as these, he is every inch the conceited proud man he was widely believed to be at the Meryton assembly. Luckily, Elizabeth is an incredibly smart woman, who doesn't fall for it and immediately calls him out on his behaviour in a way that he has never experienced before. As she should!

[luna-loveboop]

So one thing I like about Time is that he will talk about his life and journeys

He talks about it! He'll tell the boys stories and answer questions. (...when asked)

Obviously he tells his family- Malon knows everything

But he has also never held back from telling the boys stories or answering questions

I'm still always cackling over him telling them about gerudo town- he is way too proud to brag about being a mischievous gremlin

"I proved to be a greater thief than all of ganons tribe"- oh yeah. He's definitely the good influence. (That's sarcasm, Wars is the one good example for the younger ones.)

He just. He looks so smug to tell them about his experiences with the Gerudo- I love how often we see him just talking to them and answering questions about his life.

Even if it's clearly painful memories- he has still always told them

*sobs*

Obviously Time talks to Twilight the most about stuff- and everyone knows that (to where Sky went to him for questions about Time)

But the thing that get me the most is Wind.

Wind asked about... everything! Wind asked about his first journey and his life- and Time told him

The sheer transition from

"I was wondering... about your original journey"

To

"You told me about your original journey. Everything you said... the sages you described, the old traditions, the old stories- all of it! ...)

And this literally drives me insane because Time told him- Time told him everything! He told him about the sages, traditions- Time literally openly talked to Wind about his first Journey because he asked.

The Hero of Time's story had always been a tragedy- I mean... yikes. Trauma much? But I think people overlook this part of him- that he's older. All the hurt and scars are still there, but he has learned to talk about it to deal with it. And I think I know why- (Read)

Malon Malon Malon Malon!!! Jojo showed this set up for their marriage- Time was and is traumatized. But he and Malon worked to talk through things. I mean. Can you imagine keeping secrets from Malon? I don't want to. I feel like she would throw a cow at me. Anyways.

It takes a lot to work through trauma and learn to talk through it. Malon claimed him tho, so I don't think he had a choice. But seriously- she helped him work through things as family. Which led to a successful marriage for both of them, and got Time to where he can talk about these things with the boys :D

But

Time is a troll, so although he will share his insane life stories.... he will also say he fought the moon with no more context, and tell his wife that they have a descendant but not freaking tell her which one it is.

He's so insane I love it <3

Just don't forget this part of him... don't forget that rather it's sad or goofy or whatever- he will talk about his life. If someone simply asks

:)

.

Art and comic by Jojo @linkeduniverse au! :DDD

@adrift-in-thyme

[ellenchain]

Thoughts on other Viktor skins? High Noon? Deathsworn? I don't play LOL but... holy shit why does he always look so hot

ohhh sameeee

i don't play league either, it's not my genre, but i agree with you, the Viktor skins are really ... hot

baby just looks good in everything death sworn is probably my absolute favourite, even if his legendary skin is of course very very pwetty and his prototype skin very very cunty

but death sworn... mhhhh .... i would love to stick my hand in him

mhhmmmm

[junglejim4322]

It seems like people can’t really reconcile the idea that 1. Erasure sucks 2. Still almost always gives you a massive social benefit and access to social capital that those who are unmistakably perceived as whatever social label you share do not have. This is such a basic concept and is much more accepted and understood when it comes to things like race I really don’t understand why it seems to evoke a visceral response in so many people when applied to other concepts like disability or being queer and I don’t even mean having to intentionally hide something I mean people who are able to live their everyday lives and walk down the street and talk to people without being perceived as not white, disabled, queer, because their natural appearance and affectation does not show it, are less likely to be hate crimed, less likely to be unemployable, less likely to be socially exiled, feels like the most logical conclusion you could ever come to

[peanutbutterandbananasandwichs]

That moment in The Usual Suspects when they are talking to the victim's wife and Sam's being all empathetic and Dean says something stupid and Sam looks at him annoyed and there's this blink and you miss it flicker back to forehead crinkle empathy as he glances back at the wife and then back to Dean and he's annoyed again. Top 5 witnessing Sam masking and unmasking moment. To ME.

[utilitycaster]

I think some people believe asking questions on anon is like them strapping the person they are asking to a chair and turning on a single bare lightbulb and performing an interrogation. But really the experience of getting one of those questions is that of being hollered at by someone sitting in the passenger's side of their best friend's ride.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Autistic Masking Part 3

Lil Penguin Studios/Autism Happy Place

[thebaldursmouthgazette]

I think people have it in their head that solas in inquisition is his “true self” but like. He’s manipulating the inquisitor the whole time too. That’s not his true self, that’s another mask he’s using as a tool

His plan was to use the orb to tear down the veil after the conclave. He allowed corypheus to find the orb, with the goal of swooping in after the explosion at the conclave to rip open the fade from there. The inquisitor disrupted his plans as much as they disrupted corypheus’ plans, and as much as corypheus disrupted his plans by staying alive. In that moment, both the inquisitor and corypheus are the people who fucked up his plans.

He doesn’t join the inquisition out of some altruistic desire to save the world from corypheus. He joins the inquisition because he wants the orb so he can tear down the veil. Which means stopping corypheus and retrieving it from him AND either retrieving the mark from the inquisitor or finding a way to use it through the inquisitor to his purpose.

He doesn’t stay with the inquisitor following the conclave explosion to save their life. He’s there to study the mark and figure out how to remove it. He can’t, so keeping you alive to preserve it is the next best thing.

When he talks to you about stuff like blood magic, or debates on the personhood of spirits, he is not speaking as a humble elven apostate trying to convince you of his point of view, he’s gauging your reaction to things to learn about you and how to manipulate you. In one of these conversations he even brings up a hypothetical world without the veil, because he’s trying to gauge the inquisitors reaction tho that possibility (which is very much not hypothetical to him)

At the end of the game it has become obvious he’s not getting the mark from the inquisitor anytime soon, he’s not going to be able to manipulate the inquisitor to join his cause, and the orb is broken. He has no use for the inquisitor or the inquisition, so he leaves. It’s all a pretence, and it’s one he abandoned in an instant.

This image he presents of a humble elven apostate with generally good intentions who journeys in the fade and has knowledge that has given him unconventional views he wishes to debate on is not who he truly is, it’s a mask he’s put on to get to a position where he can try to manipulate things

[dailyhmsw]

was watching one of yr speed-paints and im so confused on how yr chopstick pen blends colours?????? i’ve been using the brush for a whileeeee and it does not blend the same beautiful way do you use any custom settings?

that's because it doesn't blend!!

my favourite activity is picking a random spot on the colour wheel that's close to the colour i'm trying to render and just praying it looks good for either lighting or shading. i also take advantage of the brush's slight transparency to create the blended look (i have the brush set to around 70% opacity) AND i also colourpick in the area where two colours overlap and go back over it with the brush so it looks smoother

a visual will probably help explain ,,

little doodle of darrell as a treat C: i also make the brush itself way bigger when it's time to render and take advantage of having opacity by pressure turned on! that way it's easier to cover more space at once and the low opacity helps blend better

i hope this makes sense i realize i have a very odd way of doing these things and i've never really taken a step back to actually analyze my process before

brush settings for your purposes (whatever those may be) C:

[funsizedcrow]

experimenting.. (ft fierce deity link)

[3liza]

i hope the complete lack of emotional impact my last "breakup" (i threw his ass out) had on me is causing the dipshit to think about his life choices somewhat. i am never getting involved with anyone stupid ever again. everyone is all "himbo this, himbo that" well you have never watched a 32 year old man struggle to close a string-closure accordion folder for almost a full minute. i have

[coupleofdays]

So I got this idea for a "wear a mask" image, and even though it's kind of silly, once I had thought of it, I had to make it:

[kuijoon]

haha wow art that totally didn’t take 6 hours hahahaha

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Autistic Masking Part 3 (pt. 2)

Lil Penguin Studios/Autism Happy Place