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every character in dmbj is trans because i said so (part 1)
bonus, the entirety of jiumen is trans
to be continued...
(also daily reminder i LOVE to hear about trans dmbj headcanons to if that’s relevant to you feel free to just show up in my dms)
#pretty sure i posted those first two when i made em like 2 yers ago but i can't find the post so here we are again#nothing can stop me transing everyone in dmbj (except trying to fidn suitable promo images or screenshots)#dmbj#dmemebj#trans dmbj#zhang qiling#wu xie#wang pangzi#liu sang#kan jian#xie yuchen#hei xiazi#huo xiuxiu#zhang rishan#liang wang#lao jiu men#i rub my grubby little trans raccoon hands over all of them
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#sorry not sorry#dmemebj#dmbj#xiaoge's quote came up automatically and we cackled like old witches so we had to keep it#pangzi came up as This Barbie is a foodie and it almost stayed too#low quality meme#but i did this in 5mns on my phone lol#also eirenical and i agreed that they are all Barbies except for Wu Xie who is the token Ken
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Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self-love ❤
Ooh, this is fun. Gosh now I have to choose 5 of my children.
Okay, let's see. I'm going to try and pick some older ones too even though I've improved as a writer as I've gone along. Otherwise it's all going to be DMBJ fics.
Juxtaposition (DMBJ, Wang Pangzi/Wu Xie/Zhang Qiling) Wu Xie doesn't think life can get much better than this. He gets to use his architecture degree to design buildings for a living and he gets to work with the love of his life who helps make his designs a reality. He's certainly not going to let something small like an attempted mugging disrupt his world. The mysterious man who saved him, on the other hand… This fic is still the one I am most proud of, for the sheer length and the fact that it's an AU which I don't normally write. It's not even close to being my most popular DMBJ fic but it's the one I love the most
And There's That Pesky Thing Called Reality (Supernatural RPF AU, Jared Padalecki/Jensen Ackles) Jared wishes he had the life of Sam and Dean Winchester but unfortunately they are fictional characters in a series of books. Instead he's stuck working at the library with only his imagination for company. When he breaks his leg in an accident his life goes from mundane to just plain boring, until he finds himself in posession of a computer. Pretty soon he's fully immersed in the crazy world of Supernatural fandom. It's just lucky for him he has resident BNF Jensen to hold his hand through it all. Now if they could just get over the fact that Jared thinks Jensen is a girl everything would be awesome. This fic has not dated well but if you want a time capsule of what online fandom was like in 2010 then this is it. I had a lot of fun writing this one.
Unexpected (Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Buffy/Spike) Set some time after Fool For Love. Buffy finds help in a surprising place. This is the first fic I ever published, so if you read it keep that in mind. It's definitely not good but it's important to me because it set me off on my fic journey. And, you know, props to teen!Hils for diving straight in and posting a 15k fic instead of starting with something short
Staring Into Open Flame (Check Please, Alexei Mashkov/Kent Parson) Never let it be said that Kent Parson ever does what he should. Once again my rarepair loving brain took over and gave me this little fic. I really enjoyed writing Kent. He's a very complex dude and it was fun to explore that a little.
Lost and Found (Pirates of the Caribbean, Jack Sparrow/James Norrington) Drowning didn’t feel as bad as he expected it to. His lungs burned for a moment or two and then he merely felt warm and sleepy, the way he had when his mother used to rock him to sleep. The world slowly faded around him until there was only darkness Peace at last. I'm quite proud of this one because I wrote it not long after the first PotC movie came out and having Norrington washed up and depressed pre-dated how he was in Dead Man's Chest by quite a bit. Yep, Disney stole my idea (kidding)
#asks#thesilversun#dmbj#pingpangxie#supernatural#supernatural rpf#J2#buffy the vampire slayer#btvs#spuffy#check please#omg check please#kent/tater#pirates of the caribbean#potc#sparrington
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hello. i see you enjoy dmbj. what adaptation (preferably available for free but if not that's okay) would you recommend i watch next? I've seen tsop (I'm the tsop rant guy you just reblogged lol) and i think some of explore with the note...? don't really remember much of it tho
hi! uhhh i'm probably the worst person to ask this about oh no fjskds but i'll try my best?
i say i'm the worst person to ask because generally speaking i'm more of a book person for dmbj, as in once i started reading the books some of the adaptations felt like they went from a little lukewarm if fun to this is committing multiple crimes by comparison so i always recommend the books over everything else, but i'm also in the minority in the english-speaking part of the fandom that tends to favor the adaptations so heads up for that. not that that should stop you from watching them if you want to!
which adaptation i'd recommend watching next i feel depends on what you're looking for and where you're coming at them from. reboot/the sound of providence is "good" if you're looking for something understandable as a stand alone thing for example, but it has other issues. in general i think the best approach to the dmbj dramas is exceptions (very rare) aside, it's best not to try and judge them as faithful adaptations, and as long as you don't do that some of them are enjoyable on their own
ultimate note is probably my favorite in terms of the dramas because for the most part it follows the books it's adapting, and even when it tweaks characterization or introduces characters earlier than in book canon, it never does it in jarring ways, and the pacing is also good. it also has gratuitous pingxie (and heihua) it has a special place for me djskds. this one is free on youtube that i know
sand sea (or tomb of the sea) is another good choice even if it's a little bit of an unconventional one. it does have some down sides like the pacing (that's a general issue with dmbj dramas to be fair), some subplots that drag and aren't always that interesting depending on who you ask, and the fact that like its book counterpart, wu xie isn't the main character so he gives center stage to someone else. it's interesting for the vibe alone and wu xie's very specific mindset at this point in canon, and it's understandable as a standalone thing, but it's also very much apart from the rest of dmbj as a whole. this one is also free on youtube
lost tomb 1 (not sure if this one is on youtube but tempted to say yes?) is only good if what you want is to start from the very beginning if you know nothing about the story, but besides that's it's kinda mid? it's ok but it's a but bland. lost tomb 2 is a little similar to me in that it's better (and i do like this drama's version of pangzi) but it drags a lot and makes some weird choices among other things in my opinion
i'm not gonna personally recommend either lost tomb 2.5 (which should be explore with the note? the one where they go to changbai mountain) or tibetan sea flower because those two have committed too many crimes to me personally, but if you want to try them feel free!
for other adaptations, the qinling bronze tree donghua is actually really nice. it's basically the book it's adapting ad verbatim with an added twist at the end that's still plausible, so you get book wu xie flavor which is always nice
plugging the books again because i'm annoying like that but to be fair by comparison to the adaptations they're more of a time investment so i understand why people would find getting into them daunting or not worth it if you aren't hardcore into dmbj
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So I'm starting to think the post I was looking for never actually made it out of my head and into writing, because I cannot find it for the life of me.
Anyway! Sci-fi/urbex AU!
Here Wu Xie and Pangzi are a pair of urban explorers. They sneak into abandoned (often highly classified) locations, film their walkthrough and air it on the net. (Not like... Youtube or such, nope. Think more... dark web.)
The inspiration came from Wu Xie's grandpa, an architect involved in a number of such classified building projects, on which he absolutely should NOT have made any notes, never mind passing these notes to his grandson, but ah well, here we are.
Their next target is some sort of medical facility in the middle of nowhere, half eaten by a thick forest.
They definitely get more with this one than they bargained for. Yes, this was some medical testing centre. What they were testing were mutants.
It's a really grim place. The laboratories already give our guys the creeps, but the worst part comes when they get to the holding cells. It seems like the idea was to keep the test subjects victims in some sort of stasis, but in most of the cells the technology keeping this up broke over time, leaving the person inside to slowly starve to death.
Some of the cells though, some were broken open from the inside. There are claw marks. A lot of them.
Wu Xie and Pangzi are quite ready to get the fuck out of there, except... except one of the cells is still functional. There's a living human inside.
He's very thin - the weird stasis keeping him alive must have been steadily failing - and he's completely withdrawn into himself. All told, he looks normal enough, except for two unusually long fingers.
Well, caring for a deeply traumatised stranger was not what Wu Xie and Pangzi signed up for, but surely they can't just leave him here? When they finally manage to get his attention and get a few words out of him it turns out he doesn't remember anything of his life before the facility, not even his own name.
Breaking him out takes some fiddling, but proves to be and excellent decision when they inevitably run into some... other occupants of the facility. Some may have been people once, but not much of that remains in them. It's unsure whether they even count as alive anymore.
Their new friend is an excellent fighter, but is also pretty much at the end of his rope. Fighting their way out of the building burns through the last of his strength and he collapses the moment they get to relative safety - of course the other two carry him the rest of the way. He just saved their lives, it would be a shitty move to leave him behind now.
A couple of months later the viewers of their channel are surprised to see that their favourite illicit explorer duo has turned into a trio.
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26 for either pingxie or poly iron trianle please?
26: a kiss…as an apology.
silly little pingpangxie ficlet, coming right up!
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They’re covered in marble dust, flakes of leaf litter, and far too many streaks of dark something that Pangzi, frankly, doesn’t want to think about, because nothing good comes of dark streaks from tombs. “One of these days,” he complains, laying flat on his back and having less than no desire to get up, staring at the glinting stars visible through the foliage overhead, “I’m going to get some horrifying disease from these places, and inflict some long-dormant virus on the unsuspecting population of the entire country because of it. No, the entire continent. You mark my words, Tianzhen! I told you so!”
By his side, there’s the faint sound of shuffling leaf litter. “Pangzi,” Wu Xie says, placating. “It’s not that bad.”
“Xiaoge, give him the Look,” Pangzi commands. “Bastard doesn’t take mine seriously anymore.” Also, his limbs are aching from the flat out sprint they’d been subjected to as the three of them had narrowly fled the collapsing tomb nipping at their heels.
Wu Xie makes a sound of protest. “No, don’t,” he says. There’s the sound of shifting at a little distance—Xiaoge sitting up, his shadow falling long and pale across the two of them, still laying down. “Pangzi, tell him not to—ah, hell, Xiaoge, don’t look at me like that…” Wu Xie’s voice goes weak at the end; Xiaoge’s Looks are a force to be reconned with. Big, dark brown eyes, an expression that goes from jade to soulful. Pangzi almost feels bad for him—but only almost. “Pangzi,” Wu Xie pleads, his demeanour already showing cracks, “come on, please? I swear I didn’t mean for you to almost get bitten by those weird fish!”
“And yet my ass remembers,” Pangzi says, archly. “Scars, Tianzhen, scars. For life. Who’s going to look at this old body and think scars like that come from anything worth glorying?”
“The two of us are the only ones who’ll see your ass,” Wu Xie mutters. “Narcissus. Ah, Xiaoge, I’m saying da-ge, I’m saying da-ge, let me live!”
Xiaoge makes a patent noncommittal hum. Wu Xie lets out an overly dramatic whine, and then there’s more rustling leaf litter, and then Wu Xie is scooting into an awkward cuddle up against Pangzi. The line of him is warm, comforting; familiar. Even annoyed as he is, Pangzi can’t help but turn in towards it, just a bit. And, well, then Wu Xie levers himself up into an awkward bending position and kisses him, and that’s even nicer, soft lips and that puppyish charm he’s never quite managed to lose. “I’m not letting you off that easy,” Pangzi mutters against his lips when he pulls back.
In response, Wu Xie blinks down at him. “Even if I say I’m sorry?” he says, and kisses Pangzi again, which, Pangzi would point out, isn’t an actual apology, except his mouth is too busy with the weight of Wu Xie, and his mind is too busy with the recognition of the weight of Xiaoge’s gaze on them, hungry.
When he finally pulls back, Pangzi means to make him apologise properly. Instead, he gets a glimpse of Xiaoge’s expression, and any mock haughtiness flies out the window. “We’ve been teasing our poor Xiaoge’r,” he says, and finally sits up; nudges at Wu Xie. “Go on, don’t keep the man waiting.”
Wu Xie brightens. “So you’re forgiving me?”
“We’ll see,” Pangzi says, aiming for stern and, probably, not hitting the mark. Ah, well. “Get. I want a turn with him too; if you wait, I won’t hold back.”
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Writing Patterns
Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (posted) fics and see if there's a pattern!
Thanks for the tag @dual-domination <33 This sounds fun!
Shen Wei comes to awareness slowly. (Out of near-death - Guardian, Shen Wei-centric)
“What are you doing?” Zhao Yunlan asks. (The light of new beginnings - Guardian, Weilan)
It’s not the first time Zhao Yunlan sees the Ghost Slayer fight. (Raw - Guardian (novel-verse), Pre-canon (?) Weilan)
Almost a year passes in between the end of the Guardian promo tour and the next time they see each other. (The shared art of drowning - RPF, Zhubai)
It’s late afternoon, the sun slowly starting to creep towards the horizon. (Learning curve - Guardian, Guo Changcheng and Shen Wei-centric)
His back aches. (But pursue no regrets - DMBJ, Pangxie)
It starts, as many thing do, with a question in a group chat on a Sunday afternoon: Is professor Shen okay? (The grace of care - Guardian, Shen Wei and Jiajia-centric)
“It shouldn’t be possible,” Zhao Xinci grumbles, “and yet here we are.” (Exchange - Guardian, platonic Weilan i guess? Zyl is literally a child in this and they’re meeting for the first time idk)
Lao-Zhao’s doing it again. (Petrichor - Guardian, Weilan, Da Qing POV)
Blood isn’t hard to get off the kitchen floor. (The easy part - Guardian, Zhao Yunlan-centric)
Patterns: I like to start with shorter sentences, to quickly draw the reader in. I either start with something to introduce the setting a little bit but with a twist, or with some action. I try not to open with (too much) exposition or description, instead trying to make my first sentence immediately evoke questions: what is wrong with Shen Wei? What is he doing?? Blood on the floor??? Developing the pace and mood of the piece first, and only then delving deeper into the real setting and what is actually going on. If I can I like to put my readers on the wrong foot a little at the start: e.g. ‘exchange’ isn’t about zxc at all. The first sentence for me is all about drawing the reader in, and once I’ve got them, that is when I start explaining myself. (There are exceptions to this, where I start with the setting right away, e.g. in ‘learning curve’, but i tend to look back on those as my weaker opening lines/paragraphs :)).
Tagging: @pangzi @elenothar @lynne-monstr @mjsakurea @programmedradly @lunarriviera @the-marron @deathofsanity @hideyseek @lucientelrunya @stupid-lemon-eater @miss-ingno @aredhel-of-doylkien @thedaughterofshadows if you want to!!!
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iron triangle in egyptology class
[Fun fact that I want to explain to Lyx, who has not seen any dmbj except the heihua movie: none of these guys are archaeologists or historians of any kind; the only one with a degree (as far as we know) is Wu Xie, who studied architecture. I imagine these are evening classes they're taking as a hobby, finding out more things about different tombs around the world... that's what AUs are for, aren't they?]
"-- AND they're teaching us to translate using Budge! Of all people! The man's been dead for near a century and wrong for even longer, why can't they write something more decent!!" Wu Xie exclaimed, waving an old book around in a way that couldn't possibly be good for the spine.
"Sshhh Tianzhen, they'll kick us out of the library if you keep going like that," Pangzi hissed, though a quick look around told them their section of the library was deserted. Some pulling and prodding later, and Wu Xie finally sat back down in his seat--
-- only to jump right back up and start ranting again: "That's where the adverbial sedjem-en-ef with a cleft subject should go! Aargh, can't they get anything right??"
"Tianzhen! You're the one who chose the optional language course, you did this to yourself."
"I knoww..." Wu Xie flopped down in his chair, and slumped forward face first onto his notes. "That's why its so terrible."
A sigh that seemed to come from his very toes fluttered across his notes, and Pangzi turned to his own book-- just history for him, thanks, no ridiculous language juggling for Pang-ye. History, and some shiny treasures to look at. A man should know his own strengths.
"Xiaoge~," Wu Xie seemed determined not to focus on his work. Pangzi rolled his eyes at his book. "Xiaoge, what are you reading?"
Silently Xiaoge slid his book over to Wu Xie, who looked at it, and then remained quiet for a very long time.
"I studied architecture in Germany before, but this German... I can barely read it! How old is this book?"
Xiaoge answered without looking at the publication date on the first page: "1971."
"'71?? Hasn't someone taken the time to print a new version of this??" Wu Xie exclaimed again, and was hushed again by Pangzi. At least this time he sat down without urging.
"Whose brilliant idea was this again?"
Xiaoge shook his head in response.
"But why?" Wu Xie sounded plaintive. Clearly he was starting to regret his own idea of 'fun evening classes'
"They were very thorough, so no one wants to rewrite it," Xiaoge said, and Wu Xie's head connected with the desk with a loud thud.
~
Send me an ask with a pairing and an AU and I'll write you a ficlet!
#dmbj#tlt#no egyptologists were harmed in the writing of this ficlet#if you do happen to know something about egyptology: iykyk#iron triangle#au fic meme#jin writes#real friends send you ask memes even though theyre not in the same fandom#the first person to tell me what movie I'm referencing gets to make a fic request without the AU stipulation if they want#no googling but also id be impressed if you did manage to find this via google#brought to you by my own experiences at egyptology
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Fandom: 盗墓笔记 - 南派三叔 | The Grave Robbers' Chronicles - Xu Lei Relationships: Wang Pangzi/Wu Xie, Hei Xia Zi & Wang Pangzi, Wang Pangzi & Xie Yuchen, Wu Xie & Xie Yuchen, Hei Xia Zi/Xie Yuchen Characters: Wang Pangzi, Wu Xie (DMBJ Series), Hei Xia Zi (DMBJ Series), Xie Yuchen Additional Tags: Fluff, LITERALLY, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Alternate Universe, Pining, Getting Together, Accidental Dog Acquisition, Wu Xie can talk to dogs, Hei Xiazi and Wu Xie both love kaomojis, implied past Xiao Hua/Pangzi, the author loves a good cliche, implied Wu Xie is in the tomb raiding world, Pangzi is not (yet)
Summary: In Pangzi’s experience, it was rarely ever a good sign when he returned home to a piece of paper stuck to his door. However, rarely ever did not mean never, and there were exceptions to every rule.
Happy birthday @pangzi, I love youuuuu 💖💖💖
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说实话
There are things about being raised Jiumen that no one ever bothered to tell Xie Yuchen. Truths he's had to discover alone and then be made to swallow, like the bitter wine toasted with at every convening of their association, alongside a smile and words that can just pass as still bearing some veneer of sincerity.
Out of these truths- and granted, maybe it wasn't intended to be one, maybe it's a joke of Xie Yuchen's life that went so far it became truth- out of these truths, one of the harshest is that being tiān zhēn wú xié was never promised.
Xie Yuchen buried Xie Lianhuan when he was a child, almost too young to know what grief was even after all the times it had chosen him. But what he did know was that from then on there was no one to oversee who he had to become, so he stood up and split himself into both maker and creation, in too many ways to count.
He sought out his own apprenticeship, and in the present escapes himself for moments at a time in a theatre as Jie Yuhua. He learned the reins of Bao Sheng and took them when he should still have been too young to, because if Xie Yuchen didn't then every eye watching and waiting and prophesying the day he failed would, and the line of Xie would not fade from Jiumen because it was too weak. And he came to recognize all those gazes too; who under each surname in his life would be ally, or enemy, or one until a large enough sum pushed them to the other side.
These are all lessons Xie Yuchen has had to hone into sharpened instinct to stay free, to live and not survive. And in doing so there is too much that has been displaced, sacrificed, because there is no room for them in Jiumen. No room for them in the past, present, or future of Xie Yuchen. Tiān zhēn wú xié. What a lovely-sounding punchline.
So living innocently was a right Xie Yuchen never had. What about just wú xié, then? What about Wu Xie? Well. As it turns out, living as Wu Xie is a privilege.
And another truth is that Xie Yuchen doesn't have that either.
Wu Xie, the one chosen, Xie Yuchen said to him, once. Chosen to do something better, something more exciting far and away from the dogfights of Jiumen, always, and chosen by everyone. By Zhang Qiling, by Wang Pangzi, by all of Jiumen willing him to live even when he hasn't seen broadly enough to realize it.
Chosen, enough for the man to kill himself in the eyes of the world, by Xie Lianhuan. Instead of Xie Yuchen.
Xie Yuchen, now, is the artist of his own masterpiece. He has dictated his own life with every scrap of agency he fought for and won, he has measured every danger and decided whether to stare it down or do so later, he has carefully sculpted the space he takes up in every setting of existence. Down to the form of his own body, where the only scars he shows are the ones he chose after he turned thirteen, then sixteen, then eighteen, and the reality of himself didn't match his reflection in the mirror.
And Wu Xie has never had to linger on any of that for even a second. Wu Xie was handed perfection on a platter by Jiumen or nature, and he's still too much of his namesake to realize what that entails. He has his precious Iron Triangle at his side and his Wu Sanxing out there somewhere, and a whole world to traverse untethered like the Jianghu if that's what he wants.
Being tiānzhēn Wu Xie is a luxury of a birthright, curled around him protectively and noted by everyone except him. All Xie Yuchen was handed was some gentle rose of a name like Xiao Hua. He had to forge that into thorny armour on his own.
But a third truth, and one that is sour to Xie Yuchen some days and sweet on others, is that Jiumen, for all their flaws, are human. Including Wu Xie. Including himself.
He knows it in golden-lensed recollections he's clung to like lifelines, reaching back to before when Xie Lianhuan was his uncle, not an absence with a name, and nine families still acted like families some days of the year. Xie Yuchen knows it, because he has had the sound of Wu Xie's laughter memorized since they were four and six and playing together at Guonian, running around taking red envelopes from all the Jiumen elders and watching firecrackers go off in the courtyard.
He was too short to see over the windowsill for a year or two, as they watched from a safe distance. Wu Xie always tried to clumsily lift him up, instead, even if it meant he missed viewing the light show.
Xie Yuchen knows this truth is real more than most others, because he was holding hands with Wu Xie when they were children growing older and they found that closet, and in there Wu Xie in his wide-eyed, witless bravery tried to kiss him. And if not for being interrupted by a ghost that was an illusion, Xie Yuchen would have let him. Not out of love, or curiosity, or even sheer impulse. But out of however in all hell you can possibly thank someone for being so blindly kind and good that years down the line, against all logic, in Xie Yuchen's mind some nostalgic impression of Wu Xie's joy can still soften the blow of living years of sharp isolation that came after.
Tiān zhēn wú xié. At least one of them gets to have that.
(And the final, small truth? The result of the last, and the one Xie Yuchen senses is eternal? Is that he will never hate Wu Xie for it.)
#dmbj#ultimate note#sha hai#<- kinda. drawing on that canon for some details#xiao hua#xie yuchen#wu xie#fic#i told myself i should rest and not write stuff because it's been an exhausting day#and then i thought too much about xiao hua and wu xie in their childhood family friends days#daomu biji#dmbj fic#ashton writes fic
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a present for the much loved @sunriseverse
have some imperfect fem iron triangle cuddles! as a treat!!!
Wu Xie wakes up with a face full of tit. Usually, this would be a delight! Except Wu Xie can't breathe, made all the worse by the fact that Pangzi is half laying on top of her, pressing down her chest with her not-insignificant heft. Whenever she imagined suffocating to death in a tomb, she has to admit, she never expected breasts to be involved... which, when you put it that way, is not a bad way to go.
Not the point. The point is she's asphyxiating.
With no small amount of effort, she manages to shove Pangzi off her enough that she can gulp down air, her poor broken lungs wheezing from the effort. Pangzi doesn't wake up, just shifts away from the pushing, the arm she has thrown over Wu Xie dragging her closer. She can't move but at least she can breathe.
On her other side, she can feel Xiaoge move just the tiniest amount. The sound must have woken her up, but she doesn't turn from where she's laying facing chamber they set up camp in, still monitoring their surroundings, clearly trusting Wu Xie not to die in such a pathetic way. Wu Xie extends an arm, pressing the side of it against the length of Xiaoge's spine, a quiet acknowledgement. She doesn't expect anything in return, so she's surprised when Xiaoge scoots in closer, pressing her back to Wu Xie, letting the curve of it rest in the soft angle of Wu Xie's side. It pins Wu Xie's arm, essentially immobilized. Wu Xie huffs out a laugh. They have her thoroughly trapped. What a perfect place to be.
-
Pangzi's wives are the biggest heat leeches of all time, Pangzi is sure of it. During the winter, they steal all of Pangzi's blankets and sweaters, give her big sad cow eyes until she makes them tea and soup, and glue themselves to her side at any given moment. Even on the coldest days, Pangzi has a nice layer of insulation that keeps her warmer than the others, but more than that she just runs hot naturally. Xiaoge and Wu Xie take full advantage of it throughout the day, but it's the worst at night.
Pangzi is the only one with something approximating a bedtime (she's old, leave her alone) while her partners tend to stay up late, Wu Xie with her books and Xiaoge enjoying time outside or in her various nooks around the property. Pangzi gets in, laying dead center on the bed on her back, and waits. She doesn't have to wait long, however, because, sure enough, five minutes later she hears them scurrying around in the bathroom and closet. She feels both sides of the blanket lift and the bed dip and Pangzi just sighs and opens her arms, an invitation that is swiftly taken advantage of. They cuddle up on either side of her, pressing their cold skin to hers. Wu Xie tangles her freezing feet with Pangzi's, having not even bothering with socks like a inconsiderate ass she is. Pangzi traps them between her calves to warm them up and Wu Xie wiggles her toes.
Xiaoge is like a heat sink, always nearly unnaturally cold-- sometimes to a degree that worries Pangzi. She shoves her icicle hands against Pangzi, one stuck between Pangzi's back and the mattress, the other up her shirt, tucked under the swell of her breast. Her skin breaks out into goosebumps, freezing, and she groans.
"Menaces, the both of you. Can't you leave your poor wife to rest peacefully for once?"
Despite her complaints, she wraps her arms tight around the both of them, pulling them in close, and lets them steal all the warmth they can stand. They can have it all.
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It's been a long, exhausting week. It isn't often that Xiaoge goes off on her own since the they're "retired" but sometimes she just needs to get away. She loves her partners deeply but they can also be a lot, so she keeps thinking this will be a solution. But they're hers, and every time she leaves she always finds herself immediately yearning for home.
She gets back in the middle of the night, dusty, tired, and grumpy. her only thought is to drag herself to bed and sleep off the long trip. She kicks out of her boots at the door, already hearing Pangzi's much-loved naggy voice complaining about her tracking her tomb stained footprints around the house. But instead of that frustrating her further she only feels warm. She missed Pangzi, she missed both of them, and the reminder that they are near is enough to lift her spirits, even if just the tiniest bit. The house is silent and dark and something in her settles in the peaceful stillness of her home. (Home, she still thinks with no small amount of wonder, she has a home, now.) She pads through the house in socked feet, making a beeline for the bedroom.
Bundled up under the blankets are the two people she loves most in the world. They're tangled only loosely, Wu Xie having flung herself to the side in her sleep and Pangzi not having pulled her back in like an octopus yet. Xiaoge stares at the space between the two of them with such intense longing. Perhaps... Stripping quickly, she climbs into bed, wiggling and squirming until she is under the blanket, contorting her body so he can fit in the little space without bothering the two of them. It's so warm and perfect. She thinks it couldn't get better than this, being so close. Pangzi proves her wrong.
"Xiaoge'r," she slurs, flopping onto her side, arm flung around Xiaoge, pulling her close against her chest. It's heaven. There is only one way it could be better... and then Pangzi is grabbing Wu Xie by the far shoulder, tugging her so she flops on top over against Xiaoge's other side, in what is technically a spoon but is really just a lean. Despite clearly still being asleep, Wu Xie presses a clumsy kiss to the back of her neck. It's everything she could ever want and more.
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If you're willing to distribute wisdom, as someone looking to sentence themself to watch dmbj... what the heck is up with the different versions lol, and does it matter which one one starts with?? And also maybe where can they be accessed?
I don't know if I'm the best person to ask this to, actually, because my opinion on dmbj is extremely....biased and picky as someone who only likes 2.5 adaptations, and is mostly a casual fan since 2016. im sure a search will reveal much more complete posts reccing the adaptations in the right order and such, so this is just my personal two cents:
more enthusiastic fans can correct me, but what I understood is that until a certain point in time, due to the books' popularity, different people wanted a go at adaptations, until NPSS, the author, decided to take the whole franchise under his wing and now no one except his own company can make adaptations. now, his own team's adaptations led to things like DMBJ Reboot (2020), which i ended up loathing despite it having zhu yilong, so im not...super enthusiastic about any adaptations in general anymore
having said that, here's what i watched in approximative order, and whether i liked them:
The Mystic Nine (2016)
The Lost Tomb 1 (2015)
The Lost Tomb 2 (2019)
Ultimate Note (2020) - I actually watched this one after Reboot, but this is where it should be, I think.
Sha Hai / Sand Tomb (2018)
DMBJ Reboot: The Sound Providence Pt 1&2 (2020)
One of the Heihua specials
Out of these, i adored The Mystic Nine and Ultimate Note, I relatively enjoyed TLT 2, and......that's it.
The Mystic Nine is about the predecessors and previous generations of the families that make up the main protags of DMBJ. A lot of it is so bad it's good (especially CGI and censoring issues made up for a hilarious watch for me). The plot revolves a massive human-shaped tomb that some of these nine families have found, and what it hides. It's set around the 1930s, so.... of course, there's some of the typical stuff you can find in a plot concerning that time, too.
Ultimate Note is set in DMBJ "present", covering books 4-7 of DMBJ. It's the only DMBJ adaptation and only Wu Xie that I truly enjoy. Also the only Xiao Hua and Hei Yanjing I swear by. and boy, did i enjoy UN so much. Did it feel jarring to watch it without a good understanding of the previous books? Yeah. But personally, I find DMBJ to be a series where you can dive in more or less at any point, so it's the only adaptation I can wholeheartedly recommend. It also has a homebaked feel, between the very green actors and the occasional bad CGI.
I relatively enjoyed TLT2 while watching, but if you asked me what happened in it now, I wouldn't be able to tell you. I know it has my favorite Pangzi of all times.
I don't even want to cover my opinion of the rest. I already mentioned i ended loathing the reboot (i loved the first dozen eps, so the fall afterwards felt worse), and that hate-watch to see if my opinion could be changed at the last minute was part of decisions i regret... it deals with a much much older Wu Xie and iron triangle, in any case. Sha Hai takes place a bit before the reboot, but also deals with an older Wu Xie and has a completely different protagonist. I personally wouldn't start with these two, therefore.
Now. Some people only swear by those two, saying they're some of the best DMBJ adaptations. So again, my opinion is just an opinion. Please have a look at more complete, less biased rec posts and good luck to you in your watch!
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and more opinions no one asked for!
got to watch the misty creed dmbj movie and! it's good! and better than the first one (aka conjuring curse)! shocking coming from me i know
it's never going to be on par with the books because i don't think anything will ever be (except maybe a donghua adaptation since the qinling bronze tree donghua stays to this day the most faithful dmbj adaptation) BUT both of these movies make a genuine effort at capturing the vibes the books have
misty creed in my opinion is better than conjuring curse mainly for the plot being more focused on the iron triangle and for wu xie especially. i didn't dislike jing yanjun's performance in conjuring curse per se, but i did find him a bit bland for a post sha hai wu xie, so he ended up mid tier for me despite the spirit being there. in misty creed it's clear he's better found the character because misty creed's wu xie is far more believably post sha hai wu xie in all his cunning and ruthlessness mingled with the human empathy he can never entirely shed even if he's still unfortunately the weakest link of the triangle. his performance isn't perfect nor is it 100% of what i'd expect from post ten years wu xie, but he's made good progress all the same and it deserves mentioning
the plot is more personal for the characters, and xiaoge and pangzi are both high tier for dmbj live action as a whole. and unlike a number of other things i can think of, while it's not perfect, both of these movies slot into the book timeline well enough, or at least the setting is ambiguously post ten years later enough that minor details aside they don't clash terribly with any of the main plot
the cgi is also very decent which. very shocking i know but the stylistic choice to conceal and suggest rather than show fully was a perfect one. it allowed for any flaws to be glossed over and managed to give off the eerie and unsettling tone the movie was clearly aiming at
overall nice and fun, distinctly book-oriented in terms of plot setting and characterization (so yes, if there are inconsistencies with the dramas specifically, then consider that might be the drama's fault actually), would def recommend
also possibly unpopular opinion but chen yesheng is a very good xiaoge and i'd argue he's one of the best if not tied as the best but that's a topic for another time 🍵
#dmbj#misty creed#黑金古殿#genuinely it's a nice movie with thought put into it#especially from a character standpoint#it's one of the least offensive live action things that exist for dmbj change my mind
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Time Masters AU - is that anything?
Well, now it's gonna be.
So. Retirement era Iron Triangle gets roped into an adventure. The place they are visiting is either cursed or otherwise heavily screwed up - physics just refuse to properly physics there. At one point one of them drops his mike and it just... disappears. Just gets swallowed up by nothing. They try working out where it went and what happened to it by talking into another one connected to it, to see if they can hear their own voice coming from it somewhere.
They never do find the lost mike. Instead, in the one still with them, they hear a small child's voice.
'Who are you?'
Wu Xie tries to talk to the kid but it becomes very obvious very quickly that a) he's not in the tomb with them and b) has no idea what a mike or even a phone is. At this point Pangzi has enough of Wu Xie's fumbling, snatches the mike from him and tells the kid the same thing Belle told Piel, that he, Mike, is just a weird little creature who can't see, can't touch anything or even get up and walk away on his own, so he'd be real grateful if the kid could help him out here. Oh yes, and to compensate for all his shortcomings, at least he has a set of different voices.
Not expecting the kid to react in any way, they head home, ready to forget about the lost mike and dedicate their energy to further researching the strange tomb... except the child keeps talking to them. Or to the mike, more precisely, because as per Pangzi's explanation he now threats it as an individual creature.
Sometimes it's just little things about his day... and sometimes it's hair-raisingly horrible stuff, relayed in an indifferent tone, like it's normal. It becomes evident that he's going through some really horrible abuse, and that Mike is basically the only friend he'd ever had and he has to go to great lengths to hide it or else it'd be taken away.
...Well, knowing all that, the Triangle can't just... not do anything, can they? They accidentally made this kid get attached but what can they even attempt to do to help him?
In the end, it's unclear which one of them suggested that the boy should run away - they were all implying it, even if unintentionally - but one day they wake up to the little kid proudly declaring that he did the thing, he ran away from home.
After surviving a collective heart-attack our Triangle decided that now that they've made this bed, intentionally or not, they will take responsibility and lie in it, and navigate this poor little guy to safety no matter what.
...And of course the big twist of the original story, that one of the adults is actually the kid they are trying to keep safe still applies: they've been talking to baby Xiaoge all along.
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Monday Fic Recs
Shen Wei/Zhao Yunlan (Guardian)
unmoored by nanimono_da
Post-canon ending fix-it (mostly drama canon-compliant!)
Zhao Yunlan is gone, Shen Wei is gone, the portals seem to be closed forever, and the surviving SID are coping, over a year and a half later when the phone starts ringing
I love this! Such a wonderful and unique idea for a fix-it
Fang Duobing/Li Lianhua (Mysterious Lotus Casebook)
此生如梦 | this life, a dream by extraordinarilyextreme
No matter where, no matter when, this heart will always be known by Fang Duobing.
(or, by the mechanisms of a kinder universe, Fang Duobing becomes Li Xiangyi's disciple)
This is so sweet and perfect. Just what I needed.
Di Feisheng/Li Lianhua (Mysterious Lotus Casebook)
Waiting For The Tide To Turn by silver_sun
Fang Duobing arrives at the beach more out of desperation rather than any real desire to see Li Lianhua and Di Feisheng fight each other.
How could Li Lianhua even fight now? Unless somehow after he’d run off he’d performed some astounding feat of healing that would finally make his title of Miracle Doctor accurate. It’s a fragile hope that he clings to, unwilling to abandon it while there is even the slightest chance it might be true.
Another perfect fix-it
Wang Pangzi/Wu Xie (DMBJ)
Found your dog! ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა by brojorlas
In Pangzi’s experience, it was rarely ever a good sign when he returned home to a piece of paper stuck to his door. However, rarely ever did not mean never, and there were exceptions to every rule.
This is so soft I absolutely loved it!
Hei Xiazi/Xie Yuchen (DMBJ)
Heartstrings by strandedchesspiece
Xie Yuchen willingly risks everything for a chance to save Hei Xiazi, even if the odds of surviving are horribly stacked against him.
(Whumptober 2023, Days 1-5)
Some absolutely delicious whump. Just what the doctor ordered for whumptober.
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Daomu Biji in a Bottle
Since I’ve been posting a lot about the Daomu Biji|Lost Tomb seriesincessantly lately, to a bunch of mutuals I made friends with over such extremely related things as Star Trek and The Musketeers, I thought I’d… make a potted summary? Possibly I’m shilling for new viewers. Come. Join. The water isn’t deep at all…
Book Summary: Wu Xie, a respectable young man and trained architect, is also the descendant of a famous tomb-robber and wants an outing in the family trade. (Say good-bye to a quiet life, Wu Xie.) Adventure + Horror + Comedy + Epic Love Story + what looks like some pretty sincere zen philosophy. If you like epic platonic relationships, this series has your back. If you like epic, slow-burning romances, this series also has your back. Books are up to around volume 16 I think? Which is a good thing because you’ve got lots to read, right? Right?
It also has a lot of adaptations…
(Note: Audience preferences can be very individual things. I’ve tried to give the vibe of each adaptation and what I think is good and what’s iffy, but honestly? Like what you like and watch what you want, more power to you.)
The Lost Tomb 1: The ‘A Little Clumsy But We’ve Got The Spirit’ adaptation. Wu Xie’s introductory tomb! Clearly on a budget but the scene composition is so nice and most of the characters so crackling I’m not going to sweat the flaccid snake tree or Xiaoge’s Emo Hair. The court drama flashback makes an interesting extension of the ‘unreliable narration’ theme the books love, and they throw in an Action Prologue and Epilogue.
Iffies: Wu Xie is a little mealy-mouthed in this version? The OCs High Jr. and Chastity Chen are frustratingly squeaky, even if they finish the story strong. The Action Epilogue got raided from a later book so it can be startling when you see it again.
The Lost Tomb 2: The ‘Do You Like Extra Content? We Like Extra Content’ adaptation. Covers the trip to the undersea tomb and the weird magic tree in the mountains, but also throws in a truckload of side stories, especially about characters who will become important later like Xie Yuchen, A-Ning, and Cox Hendry, and manages to sneak in some foreshadowing for the end of the main series. Scenery and action scenes are very nice. My favourite Young Wu Xie - so baby, so cute, so cheeky. (Weirdly good at continuity with Lost Tomb 1, down to Pangzi’s slightly grown out version of his LT1 hair.)
Iffies: If you prefer your leads on screen at all times, this is going to be a frustrating watch. The tomb scenes can be a little dark for some display-screens. Ends on a weird cliff-hanger.
The Lost Tomb 2.2 (Heavenly Palace): The ‘Hurt/Comfort’ adaptation. An extra-whumpy version of the first trip up Mt Changbai with, again, some side stories for Xie Yuchen & co. Weirdly out of continuity with Lost Tomb 2, considering it was made by the same production crew, but by this point I have embraced the weirdness. The sets are even more beautiful than for LT2 - lots of Shape and Chiaroscuro. An interesting if angsty relationship arc between Wu Xie and his bff Pangzi. Takes some liberties with the ending, which are rad in-and-of-themselves but mess with continuity for later seasons.
Iffies: Many long sequences of travelling quietly through wilderness spaces which isn’t everyone’s cuppa, I guess. Wu Xie has solid in-story reasons for being a nervy little bitch in this arc (recovering from a traumatic accident) but he’s still a nervy little bitch and not the plucky boy of earlier stories. He’s an acquired taste, is what I’m saying.
Ultimate Note: The ‘Genre Romance’ adaptation. The action scenes and Big Visuals were stripped down harshly, possibly for budget reasons. There are a couple of exceptions like Xinyue Restaurant, but mostly the action is bland connective tissue between shipping scenes and hurrying through the plot. It is definitely good at romance vibes: the leads have good chemistry, they get a lot of face time, the camera is good at picking up their interplay. It’s just weak at the Adventure/Thriller side of the story. If you like the leads on screen at all times, this is the one for you.
Iffies: Watching this after reading the books is a long litany of, ‘it was too much trouble to film this moody scene in the rain like canon so we did it on a sunny day, you don’t mind do you?’, ‘we couldn’t afford wildcats so you get spiders’, ‘that intense, fraught, and beautiful scene with the snake in the underground river was a bit tricky so we replaced it with a tank of shrimp’. Pop-music soundtrack. Nerfs the female characters. Chops out an important plot point - probably to appease the Airing Board tbf, but it doesn’t help story coherency any.
[The Finale of the main book series is probably unfilmable; Tibetan Sea Flower hasn’t aired yet.]
Time Raiders: The ‘Steampunk AU’ adaptation. Ridiculous and beautiful. Tweaks Wu Xie to be even babier and his noodle-limbed love interest into a Big Buff Guy and I don’t care because they’re so much fun together. Kinda meta? (ie. If you take it as, ‘Series Wu Xie had this made just before Sand Sea’ it makes more sense.)
Iffies: Runs a little long for a movie. Has an ambitious ending which doesn’t quite land. It’s fun along the way, though.
Sand Sea: The ‘Book Plot But Glam’ adaptation, from that time where our plucky little hero Wu Xie has become a jaded and terrifying mob boss on a mission to destroy an ancient illuminati cult. Hooboy. It’s got the big action scenes and sweeping visuals; it’s got dust on the lens; it’s got tender emotional moments; it’s got utter goofballing. Amazing. Superb. Some good fucking food. Fills in gaps implied by the book plot (eg. what’s going on with the Jiumen) and buffs up a few story arcs (for example, the first trip to Gutongjing is considerably more fraught than its book version, and it’s strongly implied that Liang Wan gets laid. Good for her!)
Iffies: None. It’s perfect from start to finish.
Reunion: The Sound of Providence: The ‘We Rewrote Almost All of the Book Plot’ adaptation. On the one hand, this is telling the story of the protagonist, now middle-aged and facing his mortality and it’s all poignant and touching and fraught and so on. On the other, the producers were trying not to lock out potential new viewers with all the previous continuity. So they did some rewrites - for example, Third Uncle’s time in the South Sea King Tomb now has a similar emotional weight as his time in novel-canon’s Shipwreck Tomb while being completely different in the details, and so forth - you get the vibe but not the continuity. I’d say that approach worked pretty well - this is the entrance point for a lot of fans. That said, it can be a touch confusing if you start here and then go to the earlier stories. Still, it’s a grand time - like Sand Sea it’s a lovely mix of action, angst, goofiness, and heartwarming. Cinematography is v. strong, though runs a little monochrome for my tastes. This is an adaptation that loves minor characters: along with the adventure shenanigans of the leads, key plots turn on the emotional lives and choices of a middle-aged hairdresser and two semi-random mooks.
Iffies: Maybe two-thirds through Season 1, most of the lead characters disappear off-screen for the rest of the season and the lead gets to know A Whole New Bunch Of People (which can be a little startling). Season 2 blows right past the big climax of the book, then gives the characters a bit of a holiday, then throws them into another smallish adventure that technically ties up some loose ends while also being a bit, ‘Huh?’ (Being a bit ‘Huh?’ is a common feature of these stories.)
The Mystic Nine: The ‘When We Promised You Hijinks We Weren’t Lying But Please Also Ponder The Bittersweetness of Life and Love’ adaptation. This is a prequel centred on Fo-ye, a controversial figure by the standards of ‘the present’ of the series, but right now he’s a fairly uncomplicated hero. Fairly. When a good guy both works for the military while there’s a war on AND is firmly rooted in his city’s criminal underworld there’s a lot of chaos baked into his life. Action and scenery is a bit cartoony but well done cartoony, if that makes sense. There’s fairly tight plotting for about… 16 episodes? (once again, they rob the Xinyue Restaurant) and it’s great times with a train heist, and then the plot gets more discursive and jumpy and wandering. I liked it better the second time when I knew the shape of how things go? For all the tombs and jianghu feuding, a significant amount of time is spent on the Er-ye/Yatou and Fo-ye/Yin Xinyue relationships but I wouldn’t call them romances per se. They’re stories about love. ‘When you find the one who completes you and life is bliss for years but then they get sick and you go a little mad.’ ‘When you find the one who you might dare to open your heart to and it’s amazing! but also you’re a soldier and there’s a war on and they will spend so much time waiting for you…’ Bittersweet, is what I’m saying.
Comes with four side movies about supporting characters and they are both interesting character studies and hilariously different in tone - Er-ye gets lofty opera vibes, Chen Pi is dirty and nasty and everyone’s horrible, Jiu-ye gets complicated, claustrophobic intrigue, and San-niang gets a deeply sad one about the horrors of the human heart when she’s only 15.
Iffies: As mentioned above, it can get v. discursive and the drama runs long. There are some neat female characters, but most of them don’t get much screen time.
Escape from the Monstrous Snake: the ‘Schlocky B-Movie’ adaptation. Features Hei Xiazi, the half-blind, corny, (very kind), immortal mercenary supporting character and a female OC who has absolutely zero useful skills, a tendency to scream, and relatable motivations. (I love her.) Mostly filmed on a sound-stage, and the version I watched on youtube has slightly dodgy sound. Good pace, good atmosphere, lovely character study of Hei Xiazi.
Iffies: It’s a schlocky B-movie: you get what you get. And Qi Ba and the other female merc didn’t die, no, they uh, they rescued themselves off-screen and then went home and got married…
Grave/Mystery of the Abyss: the ‘Schlocky B-Movie But We Have A Budget’ adaptation. Another reasonably simple monster movie with Hei Xiazi but this time with another recurring character, Xie Yuchen, as the co-lead. And those two go back a way. Whether you want to read that relationship as entirely platonic or ex-lovers, there is so much intimacy and care and regret in how the two characters move around each other it’s breathtaking. The action scenes are both fun in and of themselves and support the love story (how they move around each other taken up to 11).
Iffies: Well… the bugs and body horror can be unsettling? Otherwise, no iffies, it’s perfect of its kind.
Green Mountain Begonia: the ‘Homoerotic Subtext’ adaptation. Set in the Mystic Nine era but made by a different team so the cast and the continuity is a little different. This one covers Fo-ye first coming to Changsha and meeting Er-ye, a young opera-singer/action hero for the first time. It’s very, very pretty but I have trouble warming to it. Maybe its plot is a little fast to get to know the characters? Maybe I’m just too attached to the other M9.
Iffies: Paced a little quick. Well worth a look, though.
[There’s a donghua adaptation of the Qinling God Tree arc, and a manhua currently coming out, but I haven’t seen either. Likewise, the Time Raiders on-line game.]
Honestly, it's all good. Play around and have fun.
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