#except it's like impossible to capture this show in gifs

[eggplantgifs]

yuzuru hanyu // GIFT, tokyo dome 2023.02.26

[givehimthemedicine]

NINA and the magic of VHS ✨📼

I think I just figured out a big part of how NINA works. here's how Brenner is "altering" past events.

something just hit me about this footage that's been staring me in the face this whole time.

before I come to my Big Point, let me establish a few things:

the camera codes don't match

s4 keeps giving us camera POV footage that's labeled per camera. we see codes like CAM 071, CAM 039 and CAM 114.

what's weird about that? nothing, except... here are what the tape labels in the NINA library look like:

alphanumeric codes like CAM B2, CAM A5, CAM TR2. not a single one with just the three-digit numerical codes.

k, put a pin in that.

the NINA library is so spotty

Brenner tells El, "Everything that took place in my lab was captured on video tape. Every success and every failure."

but the dates we saw in that closeup are so sparse. it takes only a dozen tapes to span a month of footage leading up to the massacre (a time period you'd think they'd save every second of):

CAM B6 08-10-79 CAM B5 08-12-79 CAM A2 08-20-79 CAM B5 08-25-79 CAM TR1 09-2-79 CAM RR2 09-4-79 CAM C6 09-6-79 CAM RR1 09-6-79 CAM C4 09-7-79 CAM B5 09-7-79 CAM TR2 09-8-79

no idea what a lot of these camera codes denote, but it's not too hard to guess RR means Rainbow Room.

I can tell you off the top of my head that there are four cameras in the Rainbow Room. and one in each corner of the training rooms, at least one apiece in test rooms, bedrooms, hallways. at least one apiece in observation chambers of test rooms - otherwise the One banishment footage wouldn't exist (is that a bit odd now that I think of it?).

and that's not including the tripod cameras with which are recorded close up footage like plinko and the cat.

so, why so few dates and camera angles?

@lilly-flowerr once kindly calculated an estimate about how many VHS tapes would be produced from 100+ cameras' worth of continuous footage for the duration of the HNL program and the result was in the ballpark of several million.

tbf, Brenner never claimed this was all the footage. so I figured, likely, this library actually just houses a pared-down selection of footage relevant to the massacre.

but the problem with that idea is... consider how when we see El get NINA'd with RR footage: she's being shown four views of the room at once. that's already impossible, based on the selection we see available in the library. there aren't even four RR camera views represented on that shelf, let alone all from the same day.

pin that too.

live feeds vs playback

I thought hey, if those camera POVs had dates and everything on them, why isn't that stuff on El's NINA videos? are they hiding that data to facilitate screwing with her?!??

which, yeah. but here's the One banishment footage that Brenner watches alone. no dates on that either:

so I went to look for other times we've seen lab playback to see if there are ever dates.

Hopper checking out the pipe in season 1; Owens reviewing Will's checkup:

that's actually a plot point on the Hopper one because he decided the lab was lying to him about which night that footage was of - if the tapes showed dates onscreen, that wouldn't have been an issue.

so then I thought, ok, if that data doesn't appear on playback, it must only display on monitors showing live feeds, and that stuff doesn't actually get recorded onto it. right?

well here are some live lab feeds: El and the cat; detained Nancy and Jonathan; scientists watching Will's checkup; Owens directing Bob to safety from demodogs. no dates anywhere.

so... if there's no data on live feeds or on playback.... where ARE those dates on the NINA cameras being displayed? there's no internal viewer on those security cameras, like looking through a camcorder viewfinder, so it's not like it's merely "the camera's view" unseen by any actual entity.

so like... who's seeing that? how are we seeing that?

pin that too. I promise we're getting close.

OSD (on screen display)

quick bit of context for those who didn't grow up with VHS.

in VHS days, your video camera (if you had it configured to do so) would put the date onto your home movies. it wasn't a separate layer you could turn on/off after the fact, like DVD subtitles. if that feature was turned on while you were filming, that date was forever fused onto the footage itself. any time you ever played that tape back, you would see that date. there's no way to get rid of it.

osd however - PLAY PAUSE FFW and all that - those labels aren't fused onto the actual footage. they appear momentarily only as you navigate the tape with your VCR. DVD players do the same thing, you're probably familiar.

you can watch the osd labels appear/disappear as Joyce investigates Will's Halloween tape, while the date stays put.

they give us the live camera view of Bob (which has just the date) vs Joyce playing it back on her VCR later (which has the date and also osd). why the timestamps are different is a whoooooole other post.

so now that we're all on the same page about how dates vs. osd works on VCRs,

I'll bring you to the only time I DID find dates on lab playback:

4x6 when Brenner pops this tape in his VCR.

"who's even seeing those ?" Brenner. yeah, that's not my stunning realization. but look what we see up in the top left corner: osd. PLAY.

so here finally is my point: if PLAY appears on the screen as a result of Brenner hitting play on his VCR....

let me direct your attention to the upper left corner of that other footage:

those camera POV shots all say 🔴REC.

those aren't recordings.

they ARE recordING.

Brenner is taping these past events, live, during NINA.

"how do you explain Little El showing up in some of the camera povs? brainwash her all you want, but she would show up big on a tape being recorded in 1986."

indeed! which is why I'm not going so far as to claim Brenner is recording The Actual Past. what I do believe is that he's recording El's memories of the past, in which she is Little El.

"and how are you gonna say Brenner is able to record El's memories right out of her head with a VCR? yes this is fiction, but VHS technology isn't. c'mon."

it's not actually that far fetched! El canonically has a very similar ability - it's been swept under the rug in comparison to the glamor of telekinesis, not used since season 1, but it's well established:

she not only can hear people remotely, but also relay what only she is hearing via radio/intercom to where others can then hear it.

Brenner was filming this test on a tripod camera, which wouldn't have been affected by the cut in power that happened when El started relaying. so he walked away from this moment with a recording of something only El was able to hear.

which is exactly how NINA works. add video technology, and there ya go. if it didn't already exist in 1983, this scene was Brenner discovering the concept.

onward:

Brenner's tapes aren't the tapes El is being shown.

watch this in 4x7: he inserts this tape, hits play, and then we cut to El in NINA, watching all the monitors flash to life with footage of herself in the infirmary for her bullying concussion.

the implication from the editing is that this particular VHS yields that particular footage for El to watch, but that's a false assumption they want us to make.

first, playing one VHS doesn't result in several screens with different footage rolling all at once. one VHS only holds one camera feed. all NINA's monitors can't be fed by one VCR.

second, "Infirmary" would most likely be abbreviated "I" or "IR". the tape he played said CAM TR2, which could stand for either Training Room or Test Room. El experiences 9/8/79 "memories" of both, so I'm not sure which this would be. regardless, it's not Infirmary.

third, as we've covered before, all the lab footage El is shown inside NINA is devoid of dates and cam codes. that's not characteristic of the tape we saw Brenner play in his VCR.

fourth, as we also covered before, not all the camera angles El's seeing are even represented on that shelf of massacre-month tapes.

so Brenner may indeed have captured everything in his lab on video tape, but the VHS library we and El are shown while he says that? pretty sure that's NOT what these tapes are.

it's implied that he's popping tapes into his VCR at the same time El's off in her memories. but if it's not for the purpose of showing them to her.... what is he doing with his?

"but nat, his finger hit play, not record."

well they're not gonna SHOW us him hitting record or we'd guess!

he's hitting play to get the tape queued up to the right spot to record on, which you gotta do with a VHS or else you could overwrite something important that's already on there.

if Brenner is recording whatever El is seeing, wouldn't that help explain:

the varying appearance of El as both big and little within the camera povs. at this moment, El is big because she's aware she's her current self (she's fully conversing with Brenner). this is definitely not really past footage, because it's not like Little El stood up on a chair and yelled into a camera in 1979. after this point though, she accepts what's going on and submits to the "memories" in which she is little, so she's seeing herself as little, so from then on she appears as Little El on the fresh tapes.

the different camera labeling within NINA and its library of tapes - they need to differentiate between old/real/fake/new camera views.

the sparsity of the VHS library - maybe only key moments need to be overwritten

this camera-yelling moment actually is a potential match for one of the tapes on the shelf. it's Sept 4, 1979, and it's in the Rainbow Room. CAM 071 09/04/79 could be the overwriting of CAM RR2 09-4-79. on the other hand, if that were true I'd expect to also see 09-4-79 training room and hallway footage to match those other povs we saw, and I don't, so idk.

the light circle game is the only NINA footage we ever get to see both live camera POV and playback of (although it's not actually the same moment, the dates and cams are different). the numeric camera code on both of these is part of my support for the numeric camera codes representing new footage.

regarding the date and cam code being different on those two bits of nearly identical footage…. what if I... plugged this into Multiplayer NINA theory real quick and said that maybe CAM 126 is fake-old footage that's been more recently rerecorded in someone else's NINA? that maybe that's what's on all of Brenner's tapes before he records El's new stuff onto them?

so here's my current thinking of how NINA works:

decide how you wish El remembered an event and compile cherrypicked real footage and/or staged footage supporting your version of events.

manipulate and gaslight El so that she doubts the veracity of her own memories.

drug her and throw her in a sensory deprivation tank where your selected footage clockwork-oranges her into "fully re-experiencing" your version of events.

presto! the most powerful person in the world now believes your version of events is true because she genuinely remembers it.

by means of El's electronic relay abilities (induced with a buttload of drugs), these false memories that only El is seeing, inside her mind, are displayed for all to see on monitor in NINA's control room.

pop a plain old tape into a plain old VCR and hit record, capturing whatever's on the monitor.

presto! now you have irrefutable original video footage of a past event that never happened.

now you can show that proof to someone else - the government, the media.... or perhaps more importantly another NINA subject, as an ingredient in your tampering with their memories.

so. I can't prove the ol' MindFucker4000 is also a time machine, not in this post, but I do still feel like there's time stuff involved as well. because I can't think of a way right now to claim that recording someone's manipulated memory of the past actually changes that past, meddles with timelines, etc.

can you? I don't have all the nuts and bolts ironed out, but I welcome your thoughts while mine gel!

[kitkatscabinet]

I love you, I love you, I'll scream it till I'm black and blue, so why won't you love me too?

Requested prompt: "You need someone, let me be that person, let me be what you need." for @winnifredburkleismyhero, enjoy!

Pairing: Sam Winchester x reader

Genre: Angst, fluff

Word count: 2K

Everyone that got close to the Winchesters died. The supporting evidence for this fact only seemed to grow as the years passed. John, Ash, Jo, Ellen, Pamela, Kevin, Charlie and even Bobby, all casualties of Winchester-related circumstances. Everyone that is, except for you. There had been no trips to hell or heaven, no deals made and no ghostly presences.

You had known the boys for years now, having met them about four months after john went AWOL and then you never really left. Dean liked to joke that you were the family cat that had been too pitiful to leave in the garbage. You had been there for Dean's deal, his death, the apocalypse and everything the universe had decided to throw at your boys, and apart from a few scratches you always seemed to come out nearly unscathed.

Yet that still didn't seem to be enough for Sam. Every attempt you made to close the gap from friends to something more was rebuffed. You knew he felt the same. From the lingering touches, the way his eyes would trail your form whenever you entered or exited a room, the book recommendations, gifts and late night conversations that kept the two of you up well into the morning hours.

He had always been so sweet towards you, face lighting up in that dopey puppy dog smile whenever the two of you spoke. He was the shoulder you cried on and the best friend you laughed at cringy shows with. You had never made any attempts to hide your affections, and your interest never strayed from the lanky hunter that had captured your heart. Despite all this, however, Sam never seemed to want to take things further, and had even prevented multiple confessions over the years through clumsy attempts at a diversion.

As the years passed you had almost given up on what seemed like a fruitless pursuit. If it weren't for Dean assuring you his little brother was just being a jackass you probably would have. But after years of dodged kisses and ending conversations that strayed too far into 'non-friendly' territory you were almost at your wits end.

You had thought that last night had finally been it, you gained a nasty, yet completely non fatal scratch that trailed down the left side of your jaw and over your shoulder. Sam like always had overreacted epically, and had all but dragged you off to treat the wound. His fingers had traced your face so softly and with such care that you had almost cried. The absolute reverence in his touches and gaze too much for your impossibly loud and pounding heart to take. There had been tears in the corners of his eyes as his hand gently cupped your cheek. A gesture you leant into with a contended sigh only for your breath to hitch as you noticed the way his eyes had trailed down to your lips, how close his face had gotten to yours as his shoulders hunched to accommodate the great height disparity between you.

You had leant up in response, so close that you could feel the warmth of his breath fan across your face. Just as your lips had been about to meet Sam had reared back like you'd slapped him, scurrying out of the room like his life depended on it. Tears had stained your pillow that night as you had eventually cried yourself to sleep. Were you really that unlovable? Had the scratches that would no doubt later mar your skin made you so unattractive? Whatever the reason it had been your last straw.

You had slept in, so an early escape was unfortunately completely out of the question. Luckily you didn't own too many material belongings, so you were able to pack everything you needed into a duffle. In what seemed a miraculous stroke of luck you made it through the bunker unencumbered by either of the brothers and were about to make what seemed like a clean break until the current bane of your existence materialised out of what seemed like thin air.

"What are you doing? You should be resting!" Where his concern would usually be endearing at the moment all you found it was incredibly grating. His overprotective nature only contributing to the fiery ball of rage that had built in your gut after a night of overthinking.

"I'm fine Sam, it's just a small flesh wound" you rolled your eyes, turning to walk towards the door once more only to be stopped by a tug at your arm. "Let go of me Sam," you were starting to get incredibly irritated now, jaw clenching as you struggled to keep your temper under wraps. "I said let go!" this time you had managed to yank your arm away when Sam's grip slackened in surprise at the vitriol in your tone. Your narrowed glare, crossed arms, and unyielding posture had Sam backing up slightly, hands up in a placating gesture.

"Alright. Just give me a few seconds and then we can go out together" he suggested, offering a small if somewhat strained smile. You weren't a very naturally angry person, having to deal with the Winchester's particular angst and drama had left you with a very thick skin. You had taken the insults and the monologues and the self sacrificing lectures all in your stride, but for some reason Sam's assumption had made you see red. For the first time since you had met either of the boys you truly lost your temper.

"Who said I want you coming with me?" you sneered, a small sick sense of satisfaction curling in your chest at the look of hurt that briefly crossed Sam's face.

"What? But we always go out together..." he trailed off, the kicked puppy look on his face almost enough to make you relent once more, Just like you always did.

"Not anymore we don't. I'm done Sam. I'm leaving for good." Your words cause his eyes to widen in distress, as he takes a few steps forward and back into your personal space.

"Why? Did Dean do something, I'm sure he didn't mean anything, we can work things out-" You cut him off with a borderline hysterical laugh.

"Did Dean do something? Sam you've gotta be fucking kidding me. I'm leaving because of you, because I can't stand being around you anymore." His face flickers between hurt and anger as he tries to register what you had just said.

"What? Last night we were fine. I find it hard to believe you're all of a sudden choosing to cut and run" he scoffed, trying to keep his own anger at bay from your dagger-like words.

"Fine!" you yelled shrilly. "What part of making me fall in love with you and then getting rejected at every possible turn is fine Sam! How dare you break my heart over and over again and then try and still be friends with me." There is a stiff silence as your words register in the minds of both of you, only broken by the heaving of your chest as you fight to catch your lost breath.

"You love me?" Sam seemed a mix of stunned and giddy at your words, unable to decide if he should be smiling or not.

"Wha- are you fucking stupid. I'm in love with you! I've loved you for years Sam. You're the one that keeps pushing me away and I've finally had enough. I'm ready to move on." Your eyes study his face intently, waiting to see if he'll give away any indication as to how your words had truly made him feel. Because despite your bold proclamation, you still so desperately just wanted to hear him say the words back, you wanted him to love you.

"I-I can't think of anything better than being with you" he finally admitted softly, causing heat to flush across your skin as your throat ran dry at the admission. The smallest embers of hope once again burning away in your chest. "Of loving you, waking up with you in my arms every morning, to know that you're mine and only mine." His hands had reached out to take yours, squeezing them as his shoulders shook slightly But I can't. Your stomach dropped, hands harshly pulling away from his own as you tried to contain your tears.

"And why would that be?" you hissed, arms crossing your chest as if trying to protect yourself. He takes a while to answer, stewing under you fierce glare as he tries and fails not to piss you off further.

"It's just... If i let myself love you and then I lost you... I'd never forgive myself."

"What the hell, that's so stupid-" your vitriol is cut off by his own this time, anguish clear as he yelled at you.

"Is it? Everyone I love or even get close to dies!" you scoff slightly at that, only to be cowed as he continued to yell in your face. "Yellow eyes killed Jess to get to me." Just like that, your vitriol evaporates, shoulders slumping as you try to comfort him.

"Sam-" this time it is him who shrugs off your hand, continuing on his rant

"Madison, Ruby, Sarah! I won't have that happen to you!" Silence reigns between the two of you once more, the air charged with the heavy confessions from both of you. At some point, tears had started to stream quietly down your cheeks and Sam's eyes had been watery for the past few minutes. Taking a few deep breaths you unclench your jaw and arm muscles, stepping closer so you were within arm's length of Sam once more.

"So what? You're just going to live the rest of your life alone, in fear?" There is no anger in your tone, just curiosity and some quiet judgement. Stepping forward once more, the duffle from your shoulders slips to the ground as you take Sam's shaking hands in your own. "You need someone, let me be that person, let me be what you need. Please Sam." You can tell he is still hesitant but is beginning to break under the combination of your tears, grip and the unadulterated love that shines in your eyes from him. "I'm terrified of losing you to you know" you whisper the admission softly, a hand reaching up to cup his cheek in a reversed mimicry of last night. "Every time you and Dean leave without me, or you pull some of that typical Winchester self-sacrificing bullshit feels like it ages me ten years. I don't sleep, don't eat. All I do is worry about you..." your words trail off in a hoarse whisper as you try to keep back the heaving sobs that were starting to escape your chest.

Sam doesn't reply, but in that moment he finally breaks. Pulling you fiercely into his protective embrace, face nuzzling into the top of your head as the two of you cried. "I love you" you whisper against his chest over and over like a broken record in an attempt to push through his stubbornness. You aren't sure how long you stand there, locked in his warm embrace as you wait for your tears to subside. Until finally, you hear it,

"I love you too" at first you think you imagine it, holding your breath as if breathing will shatter the wonderful dream you're having, but then you hear it again. "I love you. I love you. I love you." Sam chants, volume rising with each declaration as he lifts you into his arms, peppering your face with kisses and bringing forth a shriek of delight from your throat. Wrapping your own arms around his neck, and legs around his waist you lean in to finally claim his lips with your own, the two of you grinning like idiots the entire time. He tastes like salt, from the tears that leaked down his cheeks and you imagine you probably do too, but it is perfect nonetheless. So lost in each other and your newfound happiness neither of you notices the arrival of Dean until he speaks up.

"Great. Now if you two losers are done with the soap opera can I get to the door?" his sudden voice has the two of you springing apart, except Sam is still holding you up and the two of you go down like a sack of bricks, lungs forcefully expunged of all air as the behemoth of a man squishes you into the floor.

Your spine is aching and you're having trouble breathing as Sam frantically hovers over you, but in that moment all you can do is smile, because Sam has just made you the happiest person on Earth. A fact that you would regularly remind the hunter of for the rest of your days.

[coinandcandle]

Fenrir Deity Guide

Who is Fenrir?

Also called Fenrisúlfr, Fenrir is a giant wolf of Norse mythology. (Arguably THE giant wolf of Norse mythology). This name means “He Who Dwells in the Marshes” and as it turns out, the name “Fenrir” is not actually his name, no one is sure what this Marsh Dweller’s name really is.

His power was threatening to the Aesir who raised Fenrir in hopes to control his strength but he grow at an alarming rate and the Aesir decided to imprison him. They had the dwarves create chains from unusual or difficult items to attain, such as the sound of a cat’s footsteps, the beard of a woman, the breath of fish, the roots of a mountain, the sinews of a bear, and the spittle of a bird

It was foretold that Fenrir would trigger Ragnarök by breaking free of the bondage placed upon him by the Aesir; Fenrir would fight Odin during Ragnarök eventually killing the god.

Parents and Siblings

Loki (father)

Angerboda (mother)

Hel (sister)

Jörmungand (brother)

Sleipnir (brother)

Lovers or Partners

N/A

Children

Hati (son)

Sköll (son)

Epithets

Hróðrsvitnir (”Famous Wolf”)

The Ravener

The Fenris Wolf (or just Fenris-Wolf)

Beast of Slaughter

”Foe of Odin”

Vánagandr (”Monster of the river Ván”, also seen to mean “creature of expectation”)

Notes

Skoll and Hati’s names mean “one who mocks”/”mockery” and “one who hates”/”hatred” respectively.

It is unclear as to who the mother of Skoll and Hati is though there is mention of a wolf-woman who bore giant wolves in the forest of Jarnvidur.

Some also believe that Skoll and Hati are actually derivatives or aspects of Fenrir if not the wolf himself.

Fenrir’s most popular story is the “Binding of Fenrir” in which the Aesir capture and imprison the giant wolf in hopes that it would keep Ragnarök at bay. Throughout his upbringing, only Tyr was brave enough to approach Fenrir to feed him. This created a friendship between the two.

The gods tricked Fenrir by telling him that the various chains presented were testaments of his strength, and they congratulated him with cheers when he broke through them. Eventually, they presented the impossible chains made by the dwarves to the Great Wolf. Suspecting trickery, Fenrir demanded that, as a sign of good faith, one of the gods place their hand in his mouth as the chains were placed on him. Tyr stepped up to this task. As soon as Fenrir’s suspicions were verified and he realized he couldn’t break free, he chomped off Tyr’s arm and swallowed it. Fenrir was then transported to an isolated place where he would stay until Ragnarök.

It was said that the gods laughed at the trapped wolf, except for Tyr, and a great sword was placed in his mouth to keep his jaws open and the drool that came from his jaws created a foamy river called “Expectation” (Old Norse Ván).

His story shows why he sided with the forces of chaos against the Aesir who treated him less than unkindly. In this way, it is likely meant to show that he is not a “villain” but the antagonist of the Aesir’s story. It’s important to note that it isn’t until after he is bound and betrayed that Fenrir actually causes any harm, before this, he lives peacefully amongst the Aesir as a pet of sorts.

Modern Deity Work

As Fenrir is not a “typical” deity, there is no evidence of Fenrir being worshipped in the way that other Nordic deities were; however, he was a popular figure in art due to his involvement in Ragnarök.

All of these correspondences are going to be based on mythology and modern devotees and followers of the Famous Wolf.

Correspondences

Rocks/Stone/Crystals

Smoky Quartz

Petrified wood

Carnelian

Bloodstone

Onyx

Howlite

Herbs/Plants

Wolfsbane

Mugwort

Willow

Birch

Yarrow

Yew

Animals

Wolves

Offerings

Meat, raw may be best

Animal bones

River water

Art or items of wolves

Some have said dog toys

Acts of Devotion

Donate or volunteer at wolf sanctuaries and rehabilitation shelters.

Talk to him, have conversations

Work on releasing or channeling your negative emotions into something more productive.

I’ve seen a lot of references to intense feelings, physical and emotional. Don’t overdo this and hurt yourself.

References and Further Reading

Fenrir - Norse-Mythology.org

The Binding of Fenrir - Norse-Mythology.org

Kennings of Fenrir and siblings

Fenrir - Britannica

Fenrir - Wikipedia

[Fenrir](https://mythus.fandom.com/wiki/Fenrir#:~:text=Fenrir (Old Norse%3A "fen,monstrous wolf in Norse mythology.) - Mythus

Fenrir - World History

Fenrir devotional tips - @Lilbat

Working with Fenrir - @fenrireshrine

Fenrir Infodump - @that-nordic-pagan

Fenrir - grumpylokeanelder

Devotees and Followers to check out:

(if you're a devotee or work with Fenrir and would like to be added to this post as a point of reference for anyone who is curious please message me!)

[pinksirensong]

B.F.F.

Chapter Seven

WARNINGS: very >very< depressive chapter, angst, depressive thoughts, starvation, hallucinations, blood, self harm (NOT suicidal)

At the end of the day it would've been better if Y/N could say she heard and understood their reasons, but the truth was that both Daniel and Owen who were actually Morpheus and Orpheus just keep talking and talking at the same time trying to raise their voices to be louder than the other. It was impossible to understand what they really meant, but as far as she was concerned they both lied for selfish reasons.

Her apartment…no, not her apartment, it was Orpheus' and it was suffocating her slowly. She had to get out and so she did. Y/N drove away on her motorcycle until the scenery became unknown. The screams of both men begging her to come back, probably to give some lame excuse for their actions. All this knowledge led her to remember things she wasn't supposed to, the dreams that were long forgotten except for her unfinished art from pieces of her memory. Morpheus. Dream of the Endless. She knew him way before he showed up as Daniel, all this time the shadow lurking at her dreams was right there in plain sight and she couldn't see it. It was Dream, but right now he was more like a nightmare for her.

It was night, there were many texts and missed calls from her supposed best friend and even Hob. Hob who probably knew how they were making a fool out of her and did nothing to warn the poor girl. Everyone in her life that mattered stabbed her on the back…betrayal tasted as bitter as poison. Worst part was realizing she had nowhere to go, all those years she counted too much on Owen to even have a plan B in case they ever fought. At each passing second she felt more and more of a fool, too dumb to not see things clearly.

She also had no clothes, getting out of there so rushed meant that all she had was her clothes, her phone and her motorcycle. Y/N though perhaps not having a place to sleep wasn't that bad, if that Morpheus guy was inside her dreams the only way she would be safe was not sleeping. It couldn't be that hard, when her body wouldn't resist it she could always take a quick nap to trick her brain, but without the danger of letting any of them close to her.

The biggest regret was not having any paint with her, the rest wasn't essential, but with some colors she could put it all out somewhere, perhaps a wall or even the floor. Art, only art could save her now. Y/N finally understood that the only constant in her life was her art and the love she held for it. Since she was just a child there was the wish and love for art, seeing the beauty, capturing its essence and putting it on canvas was magical and special.

Now, Y/N was far from a person born with talent, she had passion but at the beginning, when still a child, nothing was truly good. But as Bob Ross once said Talent is a pursued interest. In other words, anything that you're willing to practice, you can do, and she was always ready to practice and learn from her mistakes. Passion and persistence got her at her dream program at her dream college. It was all she had and maybe it would be what she would always have.

Since Y/N was just a child and started to talk passionately about art her parents, as well as all the other members of her family, tried to stop her. You will starve to death, they said many times. But she fought back and won, everything else could be wrong and fucked up, but she was sure of her choice of persuading her dream.

Dream…suddenly she felt sick. She gave him her body and soul, told him everything while he lied again and again. Y/N imagined a life with him, but he only wanted to use her. She felt dirty and violated in so many ways that all she wanted was to take a long shower to scrub all of his touches out of her body. The painter knew where to go now, how she could get rid of all of these feelings.

At the end of their first year, the art students transformed the abandoned room at their building into a refuge for them, usually it was when one got inspiration for something so they could use the supplies there to put it out. The paints, canvas and other materials were all brought by them, it wasn't mandatory to collaborate and yet all artists were always welcomed there. Y/N was thankful for never telling either Morpheus or Orpheus of that place. She was safe...for now.

Not sleeping wasn't easy, but once again one of her colleagues saved her life. Pietro, an older student who liked to go wild, left some Modafinil** if anyone would ever need it and she took one as well as some an energetic drink at their fridge. In a few minutes she felt like just waking up from an 8 hour sleep, like she could go a lifetime without ever going to bed again.

Unlike what happened with her dreams, now she wasn't struggling to put on her canvas what was inside her head. Everything was clear to her, it was easy to paint the feelings when they were so ugly and dark. Happiness was always harder to externalize than sadness and anger. At that moment she had hoped that maybe it would not take long to pass, but she was wrong.

Everything became automatic since then, the days after she avoided her old place and Orpheus like a plague, thanking whoever was up there for not putting Dream on her path. She was mastering the art of not sleeping, in fact she could go days with only very little hours from a nap, the supply of Modafinil from Pietro helped her a lot, the excuse of having night terrors was enough for him to offer his help. Everyone knew something was wrong with Y/N and her friend Owen, the two would always stay together and now she was always alone.

Her art, once cheerful and full of light and hope, now turned out to be gloomy and dark. She always had these tired eyes, her skin getting paler by each passing day. One day Y/N just couldn't eat, it was like her stomach wasn't accepting any kind of food and adding to her sleepless state and bad mental health at the end of the day her vision started to become funny. She saw shadows on the corner of the room and a second later there was nothing, like they moved too fast for her. With the information now she had about father and son, the young artists thought that perhaps she was now losing her mind. She should've known they would be her downfall…

Yet it was far from that, after a quick research to make sure she was still sane, Y/N found out that it was all due to her condition and even more: some artists did that on purpose. The longer she didn't eat or sleep well the visions would get more realistic, they would be very real hallucinations. Y/N couldn't let an opportunity like this pass, they ruined her soul and destroyed the little trust she had on people, but they – much like her parents – couldn't take her art from her. Her passion for it was stronger than anything else.

It indeed became more real, it was like having a nightmare while awake and yet she had to hide it from everyone so they wouldn't call her crazy and send her away somewhere. Y/N was fine, everything was fine.

"Beauty is everywhere." she whispered the words of the man that inspired her from the beginning. Beauty was not only in the happy and pretty things, nightmares for example were as beautiful as any dream. Maybe it was her artistic aura, the one that captured this sort of thing and did something even more beautiful.

"Bob Ross, right?" the unknown voice startled her, making her jump a little. "Sorry, should've made more noise."

"No no, it's okay. Yeah, right, it's him. Hm…" she eyed him up and down. "No offense, but who are you and what are you doing here? I'm friends with all art students so I know you're not one of them."

"You do know me." as he stepped closer, she indeed thought he was familiar. Blonde hair, tall with a muscular boy…she wasn't sure, but his eyes had to be bright blue. "You're right about me not being an artist. Can't draw shit, much less do the rest…but I'm at the basketball team. Austin Myers, from the med course."

"I remember you! Doc, you stitched up my leg when that newbie let me fall last semester!"

"Did it scar?" by now they were sitting side by side at the couch, she was now having a break from her current work.

"Yeah, but it was because I kept scratching it."

"I told you not to!"

"I know! It's my child complex, sorry!" they laughed, for her it was like something she haven't done in ages. Her friends pitied her situation, they brought her some clothes from her old place and got her a temporary dorm room for her to sleep until she could fix her life. Talking with an almost stranger that didn't know about the situation, someone who was easy to talk to, it made her feel better.

"I'm friends with Pietro, that's why I'm here. He talks all the time about this place and how it's a refuge and I just…"

"Needed it?" with a sight he agreeded with her statement. "I get it, really. And since you're such a nice guy, I won't be snitch."

"Thank you, to show you my gratitude you can count on me when some crazy girl purposely let you fall." his eyes moved from her face to her canvas. The painting of an open surface coming from a feral scratch and in the background of it a decaying city burning to the ground. She needed to add some red, but it as yet to found the best shade. "It looks intense. Not that I really understand it." he smiled at her apologetic.

"Yeah… It's kind of supposed to show the internal pain we had, our daily struggles and how only we can see how much destruction it brings. It's not finished yet."

"Well, I would love to see it when it is." she kept him company until he was ready to leave, with the promise of coming back to see her painting ready.

Why was something always missing? Y/N just couldn't put her finger on how would be the perfect shade of red. It always looked like too unlike what the rest of the picture wanted to say. As hours went by and the moon took the sun's place the tests started.

Too maroon. No, this looks like mahogany. Sangria and Barn Red also didn't mix well with the rest. Her arm was looking like a child's work with so many shades of red and none were right.

"Perhaps…" Y/N talked with herself. It wasn't the craziest idea nor was it original, many painters did it before. She eyes the artistic spatula, used mainly by her and a girl from the first semester. Y/N used the sharpest part to cut the skin of her arm that was and her blood quickly mixed with the various colors there. Maybe it was because her mind was starting to get blurry again, the darkness once more surrounding the young woman, or maybe because of the drug that the pain didn't bother her at all.

Perfection. The combination of it with the maroon and a tiny bit of carmine was exactly what her mind was thinking of and once more she just couldn't thank enough whoever god that helped the artists. An outsider would think she was crazy, but the ones that shared her passion would understand it. She got a little bowl and spilled inside the rest of the maroon paint cutting her clean arm deep enough so she wouldn't have to do it again, she filled the rest of the bown with her blood and started mixing it.

After it was done, Y/N started painting the rest of her canvas and it was like she went to another world. Nothing could be heard, she wouldn't even be able to sense if someone else was there too, this was how deep she was now. It was impossible for things to not get bad, the blood kept running and this adding to almost nonexistent protein substance on her body and also the Modafinil acting to keep her awake were slowly leading to her downfall.

The whispers on her ear, when there was no one there, the darkness now getting a shape and growing closer. It was over. The painting was finished and it was perfect. Her mind could have her now, she was done.

The brush fell on the ground before her body did, a new painting being born on the floor of the room with only the color of her blood.

.

.

.

a/n: I'm far far faaaaaar away from being an artist, no idea about colors and all of that so it's obviously me going crazy here so…

*Carus is dear or beloved in Latin (source: google)

**Modafinil is a drug used to keep someone awake (source: google)

tag list: @jesllianaquilesrolon @reallystressedhoneybee @waitingformysandman @mypsychoticlove @igotanidea @mrdarcyifhewere21stcentury

[ourgreatergood]

I posted 545 times in 2022

That's 450 more posts than 2021!

20 posts created (4%)

525 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cinnamoncountess

@yumbledore

@folklorealbus

@love-arrogance-naivety

@lemon-drops-and-acid-pops

I tagged 82 of my posts in 2022

#grindeldore - 38 posts

#gellert grindelwald - 24 posts

#fb - 22 posts

#nicolas fantastic fanfiction - 21 posts

#hp - 18 posts

#albus dumbledore - 18 posts

#fantastic beasts - 15 posts

#tsod - 11 posts

#nicolas ordinary life - 9 posts

#tsod spoilers - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 67 characters

#i posted this on 4th of july 2019 and just stumbled across it again

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I wrote a little something inspired by Heaven (from the OST of Secrets of Dumbledore) - of course it’s about Albus and Gellert.

It may contain some spoilers for Secrets of Dumbledore, though, so beware!

33 notes - Posted April 9, 2022

#4

if you take angstier prompts: perhaps something with Dumbledore actually being seriously hurt after his battle with Credence/Aurelius, and Grindelwald having some weird angst session about it? (like he still was the one who sent him after Dumbledore with the intent of Dumbledore dying, but when it now becomes a real possibility, he realizes that he really doesnt want him dead?)

Thank you very much! So, I changed the set up a bit because it gave me a reason to explore a theory of mine concerning Gellert’s intentions with Credence, but I tried to capture the gist of Gellert’s angst session! Hope you enjoy! (Also yes, I tried to keep the technicalities of all the magical aspects very vague here bc it would’ve turned too long and honestly I have no idea how everything’s going to work out, either, don’t mind that.)

It was funny how Sight and reality could deviate. When he’d set up the boy to combat Albus he had done so with the conviction that Aurelius would never actually be able to harm Albus. Not clever, powerful Albus. Not Albus, who could shake the world with a flip of his wand. That was exactly why he’d set Credence up to do it.

Hurting Albus physically, magically was almost impossible. (Except for himself, Gellert knew.) But there were a million other ways to hurt a man and Gellert knew all of them and then some more for Albus, simply because he knew him so intimately.

Set up a boy he cares about to fight him. Force him to relive the moment they’d all lost control, yet Gellert was the one to be blamed for. Force him to hurt the boy. All that would do more damage to Albus than any spell ever could, he’d been sure of it.

Of course, he knew that Aurelius would never stand a chance against Albus, despite his vision. Admittedly, he had been curious about how it would play out. How Fate would fit in with the reality he was creating.

He had not expected this, though.

As always, he had forgotten about Albus’s stupid noble heart. Perhaps it was because he could not even imagine the kindness Albus was willing to show that he always underestimated this part of the equation, but once again it had literally blown up in his face.

How in Merlin’s name should he have anticipated that Albus was willing to die for that stupid boy? How could he have imagined that Albus would take the whole blow of the Obscurus and some strange magic Gellert had never seen before but that he was sure Albus had come up with, with the help of Scamander?

Now that his plan had worked out (it hadn’t since this had never really been his plan to begin with) and Fate was seeming to get her way, he realised that he’d been wrong once again. The fear he’d felt, when he’d had that vision was not because of his opponent. It was the cruel, cold fist of fear that was now squeezing his chest at the sight of Albus, pale and motionless and bleeding, lying on the ground, his friends and his brother rushing towards him.

Aurelius, perfectly fine, probably even better than ever before sat on the ground not far from them, dumbstruck at what had happened. It was Aberforth – of course it was – who dared to call out to him and ask if he was all right and Gellert was uncomfortably reminded of a similar afternoon, a lifetime ago it seemed, only that Albus had slipped his hand in his and asked him in a shaky whisper to please, stay and let me explain.

Albus wasn’t moving now. Theseus Scamander was steadily casting Renervate at his chest and Eulalie Hicks was cushioning his bleeding head on her cloak, but nothing happened.

Even from the other side of the plaza he’d felt Albus’s magic vibrating in the air all around them, before. It had been so distinctly familiar that it had almost driven him crazy, but now there was nothing. His own magic was searching, almost desperately, for that familiar trace, for the strings so intricately connected to his own but came up empty.

A feeling unknown to him, like a dark shadow surfacing from the depths of his being, began to rise in his body, constricting his lungs and throat, squeezing his chest, replacing his blood with ice water.

He was constantly surrounded by death these days, he’d told the members of alliance time and again that Albus was the greatest danger to their cause, when he’d been angry, he’d imagined hurting him, but now the prospect of Albus, the only person on this damn earth that it was really worth talking to, the only one, who’d ever been able to understand his mind, the only one, who’d ever known him – gone?

No, he’d never wanted this. He didn’t want this. That stubborn fool couldn’t leave him alone in this shameful world!

If he refused to see how brilliant they could be together for the rest of his damn life, fine, but he couldn’t leave him for good! Albus couldn’t just take his only connection away like that by dying.

He only noticed that his body had started shaking from the tension in his muscles, when Vinda touched his arm, muttering: “We should go.”

“No, wait,” he told her, still observing how Albus’s friends were trying to breathe life back into him. He knew they wouldn’t let him approach them and he couldn’t be seen helping Albus Dumbledore, but all his impulses were pushing him to stride over and pour out all his magic and remind Albus’s blood that it was still bound to earth, bound to life.

“The Aurors will be here soon,” Vinda said. And she was right. They needed to be gone soon, but he couldn’t as long as he wasn’t sure that Albus would live. He watched as Aurelius slowly, carefully stumbled over to the group of people surrounding Albus and for the second time that day he witnessed magic he had never seen before. (He wasn’t sure anyone had seen it before; they were definitely pushing the boundaries of known magical territory.)

He would never understand what it was with phoenixes and the Dumbledores but for a moment he did not care. There was blinding red and gold like a flame and then he could feel the familiar presence of Albus’s magic filling the plaza again, no matter how weak it seemed, and the next moment a dozen Aurors apparated all over the place.

Vinda’s eyes had already widened with fear, when he finally gave her permission to go, following with merely a last glance at Albus’s slowly moving form.

37 notes - Posted March 5, 2022

#3

Promise

This is for @darkangelis, who requested: They meet in secret throughout the war because they can’t stay away from each other but Albus feels so guilty about it he starts to suffer from panic attacks. They normally happen after Gellert has left but one time Albus can’t stop one coming on while he’s still there. Gellert comforts him through it.

I absolutely LOVED writing this, it was very therapeutic and I do love making Albus suffer, so thank you very much for this! I hope you enjoy it!

TW panic attacks

Albus was wondering time and again how he got into all the comfortable hotel rooms in various countries on the continent and in the end he always came up with one simple answer: He wanted to.

He wanted to, even though he knew it was wrong. He wanted to, even though he knew that no decent man would’ve ever done it. He wanted to, even though he despised himself for it.

He never told anyone about it, naturally. Who could he tell? Nobody would understand and the shame he felt over it was so overwhelming that it sealed his lips tightly shut. Perhaps that was the reason for the increasingly severe sessions of discomfort that had started to follow those encounters with Gellert. (Perhaps discomfort was not quite right considering that his throat was so constricted he couldn’t breathe and his body was shaking so much he wasn’t even sure it was his own anymore.)

Back when he’d been eighteen and broken after that summer Nicolas had told him that speaking about it, no matter how hard or impossible it seemed, would relieve him. He’d been right. He’d poured it all out one night, fully expecting Nicolas to tell him what he already knew: that there was something wrong with him. But Nicolas had done no such thing. He’d been kind and understanding and encouraging and somehow that had saved him.

But he wasn’t eighteen anymore and none of this could be blamed on youthful carelessness, on accidents or ignorance. He knew perfectly well who Gellert was and he knew perfectly well what he was doing. Not even Nicolas could tell him there was no shame in that.

He forgot about all that, the moment Gellert kissed him. No matter how much he wanted to deny it, no matter how much he’d tried to suppress it, his heart was longing for it. He was suddenly reminded that his whole being wanted nothing more but to be with Gellert. He remembered everything he’d dreamed of as a boy, of Gellert by his side, of them growing old together. He certainly hadn’t imagined it like this, but if this was all that he would get, he had to take it, no matter how much it hurt him, no matter how wrong it was.

In the beginning a small part of him had hoped that perhaps, Gellert would change his mind, leave his path and return to him, but their irregular meetings continued for more than three decades now and if anything Gellert had become only more determined with his cause.

They weren’t meeting very often, they couldn’t afford it and Albus suspected that the long breaks were doing nothing for his emotional stability. It was always enough time to let him get over the dark pit of guilt and shame and contempt he fell into right after such an encounter. It was even enough time to let him forget how much it hurt every time Gellert left, every time he had to beat himself up afterwards. It was so much time that his heart started missing Gellert again, despite everything. So much time that, when he made a fascinating magical discovery, he instantly thought of sharing it with Gellert until the second passed and reality crept back in that he could not simply tell Gellert about it.

Sometimes this downward spiral was delayed when he heard especially atrocious rumors about what Gellert and his Alliance were doing and he was forcefully reminded of all the blood on Gellert’s hands but even that could not deter him, whenever he found himself faced with a chance encounter or one of Gellert’s subtle invitations. (It was the only dignity he could retain: He would never ask for a meeting, although lately he wasn’t sure anymore if it didn’t make him more pathetic that he came running each time Gellert called.)

Now, though, he found himself once again in a hotel room in a small French village near Versailles (of all places, of course!) with his robe on the floor and Gellert’s hands all over his body.

It was what he would’ve dreamed of at eighteen. A cozy room, a warm summer breeze toying with the curtains leading out to the balcony, a rich country. Foolishly, he’d not imagined a war, he’d not imagined the most powerful wand in the world to have drawn so much blood just the day before Gellert was running it up his leg, vanishing his undergarments.

Gellert’s teeth were grazing the crook of his neck and he felt the thrill of it running through his body, but it was oddly distant. Gellert’s hands and lips on his skin, which had been fire before, emptied his head and had him craving more were suddenly obscured by numbness. Before he knew what was happening, before he could try to do anything about it, his breath was coming in shallow gasps – not of the good kind -, he desperately tried to fill his lungs with oxygen but not air could reach it, his throat was constricted. He could feel his body shaking and tears escaping his eyes, running down his cheeks of their own volition.

“Albus?” He could hear Gellert’s voice, could even recognize the concern in it but he couldn’t speak. His body had forgotten how to obey him, how to do anything but shake with the uncontrollable feeling of dread and doom that was filling out his chest.

“Albus!” Gellert’s hand found his and he could squeeze it, so tightly he was almost worried he could hurt Gellert, but he couldn’t let go. Once his hand had closed around it, it refused any commands his hazy mind might make.

“It’s all right, Albus. Breathe. Slowly.”

Uncontrollable, embarrassing sobs were escaping his mouth as he desperately tried to do as Gellert told him. He tried to get a hold of his breathing again, tried to suck in air slowly.

“Albus. You’re safe, you’re all right. Breathe in and out. In and out.” Gellert was squeezing his hand back, while he was slowly succeeding in slowing down his breathing. “Hey, do you remember the first time we met? You had the tale of the three brothers memorized… There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight.”

“In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across,” his mind supplied automatically. He could feel the tears subside and his body stopped shaking. “However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water.” He could feel Gellert’s hand in his again, the room came into focus again and with it Gellert’s face. His body was listening to him again. He loosened the grip on Gellert’s hand and drew a few shaky but controlled breaths before he slowly sat up.

Gellert pulled the sheets over them and leaned back against the headrest of the bed, while Albus ran his hands over his face and tried to collect the rest of his sanity.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. He felt drained like all energy had been plucked from his body. Here he was now, in a hotel room in France, naked with Europe’s most wanted man next to him and all he wanted was to be somewhere else, to be someone else. He could feel tears rising in his throat again and closed his eyes. It was embarrassing enough to have been so vulnerable in front of Gellert once today, he could not bear a second time. But Merlin, he was sure that this war, that Gellert, that his own despicable traitorous heart would break what he’d tried to put back together years ago.

“Don’t be. Did I do anything – ?” Gellert asked.

He took the hands from his face and shook his head and he almost had to laugh. “No.” He turned his head to look at Gellert, who was watching him curiously (he even imagined there was still a concerned spark in his eyes). “No, it was nothing you did. This just – happens sometimes.”

Of course, it was everything Gellert did outside of this room, outside of this bed. Of course, it was everything Albus didn’t do. It was everything he did do with Gellert. He leaned back against the headrest as well. They wouldn’t be doing a lot today, at least.

“It wasn’t always this bad,” Gellert said and he was right. When he’d been younger, there had been occasions when it had been hard to breathe, when he’d felt similar dread take over his body and he’d taken to recounting magical laws and literature in his head to get through it, but it had been controllable.

“No, that is a recent development,” he sighed.

“Why do you think that is?”

See the full post

40 notes - Posted March 6, 2022

#2

if you take anon prompts, how about Gellert realizing his feelings for Albus? Perhaps he previously though he only wanted to manipulate Albus to make him stay, but suddenly he realizes that his feelings actually are real ones.

Thank you very much! I am taking anon prompts, always feel free to send them! :) this turned into a bit of a character study for Gellert, but I do hope you enjoy it!

It was fascinating. Albus was the most brilliant person in the world. His mind was sharp and precise like a razor blade, yet vast and creative and unconventional. He was the only person really worth talking to, if one was to ask Gellert. And he was so magnificently powerful, too. The way Albus did magic, felt magic was the most beautiful, intriguing spectacle Gellert had ever witnessed. Magic flowed through Albus like blood, he directed the matter around him effortlessly, he altered the earth with a flick of his wrist, he took the most ancient incantations and made them his own.

Albus was everything he had never dreamed to find. An equal in mind and might. Someone he’d never thought could even exist.

It was dazzling, thrilling, that he had chosen a path of fate that led him right to Albus. It was exactly what his plans had needed, without his knowing. What the world had needed.

And yet Albus was so different. He had a warm, noble heart and a kind soul, so much that Gellert sometimes wondered how a mind like his could bear the confinement of his virtue. For all his brooding and rightful bitterness that came with the duty of caring for his siblings, he sternly refused any talk of abandoning them. Albus was patient with even the most dimwitted of people (Gellert was sure that Aberforth was the only one to ever successfully push him into losing his temper.) and he tried to see light in even the darkest of people. Muggles had ripped his family apart and yet, he did not harbor any intimate rancour against them.

Gellert would have thought it foolish if it hadn’t been Albus. He could not say that he agreed with Albus’s gentleness, but he knew that he didn’t have to, anyway. Their plans remained the same and he was more than happy to let Albus care for the muggles in their scheme, while he cared for wizardkind. That’s what they did after all - complement each other. That was why they would change the world for the better, they would create a world for all of humanity. They bore that responsibility together. For The Greater Good, as Albus had so fittingly put it.

He had to admit it took him a few days longer than it usually did to notice the way Albus was looking at him. Not because Albus was very good at hiding it. He was not. Actually, for such a private person, for all the secrecy he’d lived with since he was a young child, for someone with such rhetoric skill - he was exceptionally bad at hiding his affection.

No, he merely had been so caught up in his own admiration for Albus that he hadn’t realized what the faint nervous flutter of Albus’s magic meant, whenever they were especially caught up in an intense debate. Or the lingering stares or the more frequent excuses to touch, however innocently. It was by accident (almost) that he discovered Albus was a lot more lenient with his more forceful suggestions, when they were touching while discussing them (even if it was only their knees brushing, or his arm on the headrest of Albus’s chair).

He respected Albus more than anybody else, so he was reluctant to use this advantage too often. And he was also aware that while Albus was even more willing than usual to see brightness in him, where he was sure was only dark, Albus was no fool and would not simply be played.

He had to admit it sent a very pleasant rush of power through him to have the single other most powerful wizard of their time at his fingertips, willing to be pushed, surrendering control to him. He was sure, Albus was inclined to do anything (almost anything) he would ask of him.

And yet, he had to wonder, why he was so reluctant to play those strings of Albus’s heart whenever the opportunity arose. He’d discovered that a simple kiss could make Albus forget about a lot of admonitions and yet he had rather spent an evening discussing the morales and necessities of the Imperius curse.

Later that night in bed, he examined his uncharacteristic hesitancy and all he could stumble upon were Albus’s crystal blue eyes that shone with so much warmth and affection that it sent an odd sensation right to his stomach.

He had never considered… any of his feelings, really. He got angry sometimes, furious, so much that hot rage was the only thing to fill his body and he had to act on his impulses then. He felt dread when he could feel a vision nearing and often even afterwards. He felt excitement and triumph, when he accomplished academic goals or succeeded in overcoming a particularly difficult problem. Rarely, he could even feel his pride, most prominently, when it had taken a blow.

But apart from that?

He knew that Albus had fallen in love with him, but he had never stopped to consider what it felt like to be loved by the only human he admired.

He thought of Albus’s warmth again. Of the twinkling of his eyes, of the tenderness with which his fingertips had traced the lines on his hand only yesterday. He thought of the pleasure of being so thoroughly understood that he sometimes felt like his mind was directly connected to Albus’s. He thought of the strange new desire that had overcome him to feel Albus’s lips on his the other day.

He had never felt like that for anyone.

It was an early evening, when he realized that, despite his certainty that love, which had been oustandingly absent from his life until then, was not for him - perhaps, Albus would show him yet another kind of magic.

They knew each other three weeks now, of which they had spent every possible second in each other’s company and had filled their absence with a steady flow of letters. He felt like he knew Albus inside out and the only topic he had ever expressed reluctance for was divination.

Yet, when Gellert collapsed in the middle of his room, in the middle of an animated discussion with a vision, that was so forceful he had no chance to control it in any way, Albus caught him.

He didn’t ask stupid questions. He didn’t try to stop him from shaking with dread after icy fear had been the dominant theme of his vision. Albus didn’t doubt him, not even for a second.

He held him until the shaking stopped and listened to what he’d seen with a very serious, very thoughtful expression.

“What do you think?” He asked, perhaps a little harshly and Albus blinked. He knew he’d dragged him out of a very complex thought process, but Gellert knew that Fate and Sight did not work systemically as he’d liked it and he didn’t need Albus trying to figure out what could not be figured out yet.

“I think that I want to be there, whenever this happens to you again. I hope I can be there,” Albus said, squeezing his hand, almost as if he was making a request.

Something shifted then. It wasn’t magic, at least he thought it wasn’t, but he noticed clearly that strings inside him vibrated and wove together that he hadn’t known before. Somehow his chest was filled with emotions that wanted to spill out of him and the only one that he could recognize was relief. He hadn’t even known he’d feared Albus’s rejection of this part of him he knew he would understand the least. But now that Albus was looking at him only with love and worry and a little bit of wonder, the overwhelming desire to kiss him, overcame him again.

Kiss him, drown in him, become one with him. He’d never felt the urge to be so close to someone before. He’d never felt his heart beating like that before. He’d never felt so complete before.

And he knew that he wanted to be with Albus for the rest of his life. He simply, purely wanted it for the sake of his beating heart.

47 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Okay, since I wrote that long rant about how I imagine Albus being neurodivergent (more specially autistic and suffering from anxiety) and how it’s always prevalent in my mind, whenever I write him, I’m also sharing it on here:

‪I think it’s especially apparent in his relationship with his siblings (apart from the whole world calling him “eccentric” multiple times), but I always imagine that Aberforth (who I imagine to be incredibly empathetic) is very good with ‬Ariana bc they’re just well neurotypical kids (until Ariana’s incident) and Albus is - well - not. Always caught up in books, which to me, read: hyperfixation, which other kids consider weird and which adults consider adorable up to a point where he seems to be almost anti social bc he is so caught up in his mind that he doesn’t play with the other kids (I magine Kendra to be very ambiguous here too, very proud of her ‘gifted child’ but also at dinner she’d say things like “don’t you have anything else to talk about but that fairy tale?”, “you should go and play with the other kids more often” and he’d say “yes mother”, but really he’d feel very much like an alien in his own home) and Aberforth is just accepting him the way he is, he’s the one, who punches other kids, if they make fun of his weird brother, he’s the one, who listens to Albus’s ramblings about the three brothers even though he doesn’t care about it

And then Ariana is attacked and everythings falls apart and Aberforth is so good with Ariana bc he is just good at accepting people the way they are and Albus is terrified bc even with healthy people he always seems to say the wrong stuff at the wrong time, how is he supposed to interact with Ariana, who seems to have a breakdown at the littlest thing?

And then he goes to school and he’s brilliant and admired and suddenly his gift and power outweighs his eccentricities and he is kind and friendly and polite enough that people like him and his friends are nice and also he’s learned that people don’t want to hear hour long deliberations about fairy tales or dragons or magic, no matter how fascinating he finds it, he has learned the technicalities of lying, of keeping secrets, of holding back, not only because Mother told him to, but also because not revealing his true self was usually the best option, bc no matter how nice people seemed, they still made him feel alien one way or another, wether that is because he talked a little too much about transfiguration, because he can’t stop his leg from bouncing bc he doesn’t even notice but other people do and they find it annoying or simply bc as much as they don’t understand him, he doesn’t get what they’re on about either with their parties and ever changing love interests and gossip, but he learns to seem interested

I also imagine him learning legilimency initially in hopes to understand the people around him more, to connect with his family more, but it ultimately ends up (mostly) with people being annoyed bc he’s looking into their heads

And Aberforth, obviously also very much burdened by the fate of the family and angry about pretty much everything bc what are they even doing? Does love his brother and he knows how he is, but he also needs his older brother and he really has zero nerves to spare and Ariana needs his care while Albus seems to be sufficiently great at school and he really doesn’t understand why it’s so difficult for Albus to be good at school but not good at home, when they all love him

And then Mother dies and Gellert arrives and Gellert is the first and only person, who doesn’t make him feel like an alien, he actually likes to hear Albus’s thoughts, even for hours on end on the same topic (the Hallows for one, Gellert can talk about just as much, so he doesn’t even feel guilty or like a burden, bc he can actually believe he is not too much for Gellert) and how incredible is that? And Gellert is understanding, Gellert knows how his mind works bc his is the same! And what he’s feeling for Gellert is amazing but also so overwhelming and he really cannot focus on his siblings’ needs, which are a whole different can of worms (here comes in anxiety bc how in the name of Merlin is he supposed to manage that? And change is hard anyway and he’d just planned this whole tour and it should have been him shining and all, how everyone has always predicted and he really doesn’t want to be responsible bc he also not good at it, but magic, that’s what he’s good at)

48 notes - Posted March 12, 2022

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[yoonia]

slow dancing ● chapter ii

➬ Title | Slow Dancing: a mini-series

➬ Summary | When your countdown appeared on your wrist right on the morning of your eighteenth birthday, you had thought that perhaps the universe was on your side, especially since the final seconds were already ticking so soon. You just never expected to have your first meeting with your soulmate to be the day when you had to let him go. But hope was not lost when you still found love without the bond, and Jungkook showed you that it was possible to find happiness beyond the system that was written for you. Except that the universe doesn’t seem to have enough of its game, when your past sacrifice comes back hitting you straight in the face, just when you had believed that you had written off the perfect ending to your bittersweet tale.

↳ Pairings | Jungkook x reader / Namjoon x reader

↳ Genre | Soulmate!au, Second Chances!au, Angst, Eventual Smut

➥ Ratings & Warnings | +18 / M for Mature; multiple acts of mutual masturbation (implied and explicit), phone sex, exhibitionism, dirty talk, praise, clit play.

➥ Word count | 7,3k words

➥ ⤎ Previous Chapter | Chapter List | Next Chapter ⇢

chapter ii. fallen pieces

New York, 2021

How often would the thought of your soulmate—your actual soulmate—cross your mind over the years?

Almost never.

Well, okay—perhaps he would come to mind once or twice. Perhaps whenever his name or face would appear in your thoughts, you would find yourself typing his name on your computer, randomly Googling anything about him to find out where he is now.

On some occasions, you wouldn’t even be thinking of him and you would randomly see or hear his name being mentioned somewhere. It is pretty impossible to escape it when he has become someone who is quite well known in the media. Not only for his work and all of the accomplishments that he had achieved ever since you met him last, but also for the way he had gained attention from the way he presents himself and for the people he has been hanging out with.

Which is exactly what the photos being displayed on your computer screen are now showing you. Kim Namjoon, your soulmate, the man that you met that night at the party back in college, was a tall and attractive man with good looking hair and a bright smile that was enough to light up the room. The man that he is today has a broad chest and a pair of strong shoulders to back up his body height. His hair always looks immaculate, but it is his bright smile that catches your eyes, the kind of smile which would not only light up the room but would also win people’s hearts and trust so easily.

Perhaps that would be the reason why he is so successful, you silently wonder, as you continue to look at his photo.

“…my life is just starting. I still have so many things that I want to do, so far to go, and I can’t let any changes come my way. I like the way my life is now, why change it?”

Namjoon’s words always come back to you whenever you are reminded of him. Looking at him now, you can see that he had gotten everything that he had wished for. As an entrepreneur who had built a rising recording company gaining multiple praises and public acknowledgements, his business seems to be thriving and expanding further each year. He also seems to have a good life, captured in many pictures shared on social media either when he is attending any fancy event while donning his expensive suits—and they would always get filled up perfectly in his figure—or when he is out travelling and enjoying life the way he should.

The man sure knows how to take care of himself and how to make himself look good at any given time. And he knows exactly how to build up his network.

More often than not, whenever he is not shown in the media with his successful colleagues or clientele, he would often appear on those pictures with a woman by his side. And you may have noticed that his special companion would always change after a certain period of time. Models, actresses, socialites, every single one of them had always been attractive women that would fir perfectly by his side. Always the perfect addition to the image that he had created for himself as the successful bachelor of the decade.

It isn’t really something that is too surprising to witness, however, as you still remember that night perfectly, when it didn’t take him more than five minutes after denying the soulmate bond and crushing your hope to have a random girl sliding into his welcoming embrace. That sight had cemented your decision to step away that night, knowing that there really was no place for you in his life and that he had not been expecting you to ever show up for him even when his timer was supposed to be telling him that you were coming to his path.

Had he been waiting for you at all? You often wonder about this when you think about that encounter.

There was no doubt that he had known what was supposed to happen then. There was no way it had been a coincidence that he was talking about denying you right when the countdown was ticking to its final seconds. There had to be a reason why he was talking about it at the same time you were there to find him, and you had seen with your very own eyes that the red carnation was blooming on your wrist at the same time his hand was twitching on his side while he was talking to his friend.

Just as your memory returns to that encounter, the numbed pain in your chest emerges. Though it no longer hurts you when you think about his rejection, the disappointment that you had felt about it would still appear and let itself known once in a while. Before there is a chance of any of that happening, you quickly shut down your browser page and open your working sheets back up to get your mind off of him, although it doesn’t stop you from chastising yourself for doing something that is so unnecessary by looking him up on the internet.

Do you have any purpose of searching him through Google to know where he is and what he is up to now?

Not really. Usually, you have no other purpose to do so except to remind you of what actually happened then. To show yourself that the one chance encounter you had with him in the past had truly happened and not just a terrible dream.

You wouldn’t even be searching through the internet for him today if not for the fact that you had accidentally heard his name being mentioned by someone at the office. It was one of the music composers working at another division who seems to be following Namjoon in social media who was talking about him. Just another one of his admirers, no doubt, judging from the astonished tone he had when talking to some other staff he was with in the break room. You didn’t stay long enough to listen to them chat or to know what they were talking about, but it didn’t stop you from turning on your computer and opening up the Google page right the moment you returned to your seat.

Are you still curious about him?

Sometimes. But only because you want to see any piece of evidence showing him moving on with his life the way he had wanted to so you could continue moving on with yours.

Do you still have any feelings for him?

You cannot say anything about it when your heart is filled with so much love for Jungkook that you can feel it almost bursting open each time you think about him.

Do you have any regrets about stepping back and not appearing right before him?

You really don’t think so. Not when you feel happy where you are, and when you feel so proud of seeing him excel in the world just like everything that he had wished he would.

Do you still question yourself all the what-ifs and wonder what would have happened if things had been different?

Always.

But you have no wish of changing the past. Not now. Not ever. Although you cannot help that you would sometimes wonder if this feeling and the bond you have with Jungkook would last, or if things would turn out differently if you should ever cross paths with Kim Namjoon ever again.

It seems hard to imagine ever crossing paths with him anytime in the future, when you are worlds apart. But if there is one thing that life had taught you over the years, is that nothing is truly impossible in this world, and you wonder if fate has any other plans for you in the future that you would need to prepare yourself with.

Seoul, 2021

In the middle of the bustling cafe down in Gangnam Street, two men are sitting at a table that has been placed by the window without paying much attention to their surroundings. Their black coffee and latte had gone cold, but neither of them seem to mind as they engage in a deep conversation about work while catching up with their lives, with the sound of their laughter and a couple of banters thrown in between.

“I can’t believe how much I’ve missed. So much has happened in the years I’ve been out of the circle.”

Jungkook only laughs at his old friend’s comment. He is silently pleased with the reaction that he is getting after talking about most of their old friends from the frat house they used to live in during college. Despite the age difference and the fact that his friend had graduated years before he did, they both had been close at some point. Almost like a brother, even. And it seems like the years that had passed while they had lost contact with each other become irrelevant the moment they sit together and talk like old times, no matter how short-lived their close friendship had been.

“Everyone would be happy to hear from you. They all know you’ve been busy. The guys have been keeping up with the things you’ve been working on, after all,” Jungkook says as he sips on his forgotten latte, a small smile makes its way to his face when he remembers you pestering him on his choices of drinks. Meanwhile, he had only chosen the latte because it is one of your favourites that he could remember, and he simply ordered the drink while thinking of you.

Right across the table sits his friend, Kim Namjoon, who sits back and exhales a deep sigh as he reminisces the past. Many years ago, they had gotten to know each other by living in the same frat house through college. Despite being Jungkook’s senior, Namjoon had always been a great friend. Jungkook was a freshman when they first got close, when he encountered some trouble with the room distribution and Namjoon offered to share his room until Jungkook got his own the next year. As a senior, he was like an older brother to Jungkook back then, before he graduated and they lost contact until a while ago when they reconnected through a mutual friend.

“I feel bad that I couldn’t always keep up with everyone while I was so focused on work. I’m glad that I got to see the guys at Seokjin’s wedding last month, though. It was good to catch up with those who came. I wouldn’t have been able to contact you right after the party if it weren’t for the guys helping me reach out to you,” Namjoon says with an amused chuckle. “I was actually surprised when Jin invited me. I almost thought that the guys would no longer care about me since I was never around to hang out.”

Jungkook scoffs. “Are you kidding? Those guys would always talk about you when they get together. At least, I’d always hear them boasting about you whenever I was able to join them every once in a while. The guys are proud of you,” Jungkook quickly says to his friend. “I mean, what’s not to be proud of? One of our brothers got to be successful by opening his own business and you’re not even in your thirties yet.”

Hearing this, Namjoon shows a bashful smile and starts shaking his head, but Jungkook cuts him off to add, “Don’t get me wrong, the other guys from your year are doing good too. Well, most of them. But me and some others might be biased cause we’ve known you better in the past.”

Chuckling to himself, Namjoon shakes his head at the compliments Jungkook keeps giving him. “I don’t think I should compare myself to the rest of the boys. I was only lucky enough to find a business partner who was willing to listen to my ideas and someone who was willing to sponsor our projects. I wasn’t that much different than you are now back when I started,” he says, leaning forward as he nods at the folder laid on top of the table. The one that had been sitting there while they were chatting non-stop to enjoy their time. “Which is the reason why I’m reaching out to you. I know that you’ll be the perfect addition to our agency as we slowly expand into various new ventures.

“You are talented, Jungkook. And I’ve heard your name being mentioned by other producers from other agencies. We’re in a race here to grab your attention, and I’m going to play my good friend card to win you over,” he continues on as he tries to win Jungkook’s favour.

Not that he ever needs to. Because Jungkook had already set his mind on it ever since the day Namjoon reached out to him for the first time. He had even talked about it with you the other day on a video call. Hearing your voice then, knowing that you shared his excitement about this next step of his to spread his wings and go forward with his career, all of it had cemented his decision to accept the offer. He had also realised that he would have to take the leap if he wants to make all of his dreams come true.

He is doing all of this for you too, after all. To be able to give you the life that you deserve, after everything that you had given him ever since the day you became his.

Pressing his palm to his chest at the way his heart always flutters at the thought of you, Jungkook smiles at his friend. “You know that you don’t need to do any more convincing to get me to say yes. I’ve already told you that I’m in. All I need is your guidance and I think we’ll be good. I trust you, bro. And I’ve always wanted to work alongside you. You know, just like back in the day.”

Namjoon slides the contract closer to Jungkook with a chuckle. “And I trust you. With that talent and brilliant mind of yours, I’m sure you’ll get the hang of things in no time.”

They chat a little more before Jungkook finally signs the contract, marking the beginning of his partnership with Namjoon and the start of his new career under Namjoon’s agency. His heart keeps pounding so rapidly with each scratch of ink made through his pen. Once he is done, Jungkook continues to watch in awe at the sight of his signature on the paper. He cannot help the giddy feeling that he has for seeing his name on that paper, written down in black ink with the promise of a bright future.

A future that he is going to be sharing with you.

“I bet you want to celebrate this moment. Got any plans?” Namjoon asks Jungkook as he tidies up his files, securing the important contract that not only holds the future of his agency, but also Jungkook’s future, and of course, his own.

Namjoon had never felt such a relief to have Jungkook signing into his agency. He had not been lying when he said that there are a lot of producers and talent agencies who are keeping their eyes on Jungkook. He was actually quite surprised when he found out that Jungkook had never known just how much attention he had garnered from the people in the music industry even when he had only been releasing his work independently.

The small agency that Jungkook had signed up with not long after graduating college would never know how to handle him or to help him recognise his talent and to put it into good use. But Namjoon can. He knows what he could do. Over the years that had passed, Namjoon had proven to himself and everyone else that he has what it takes to help other artists, musicians, talented golden souls like Jungkook to reach their full potential while developing his own.

He looks across the table to watch Jungkook grinning like a child while his cheeks and neck are growing red with embarrassment. He had always been such a shy kid back in college, no matter how smart and talented he always was, and Namjoon can see for himself today that not much has changed.

“How about we go out tonight?” Namjoon offers him. “We can celebrate at this club I frequently go to when I want to treat my clients and the artists I’m working with.”

“Ah—” Jungkook’s eyes grow wide before he gives Namjoon a smile. “I actually do have a plan. I might just call my girlfriend and tell her about the good news.”

Namjoon raises his eyebrows. “Oh, I see. You’re planning to take her out?”

“No, actually—” Pressing his lips together and hiding his smile, Jungkook shyly rubs the back of his neck. “My girlfriend and I are in a long-distance relationship. She’s going through an internship in New York while taking some filmmaking classes sponsored by one of her former professors. We’ll probably celebrate through a video call or something, just like we’ve always done when something special happens while we’ve been apart.”

Jungkook’s skin grows to a deeper shade of red while Namjoon looks at him with an amused look on his face.

“A girlfriend?” Namjoon asks curiously. “I didn’t know that you’ve met your soulmate.”

Jungkook lowers his face, and for a moment, Namjoon sees his eyes looking away with a wistful look. “We met at one of the parties our house held back in the day. She wasn’t too fond of parties but I guess that night was different,” Jungkook says with a small smile as he seems to be thinking back about it. “We’ve been together for years since then.”

“Wow, that’s—that’s amazing. Congratulations,” Namjoon finds himself saying. Although, for some reason, his words sound hollow. “You’re a lucky man, Jungkook. I gotta say that I’m really jealous of you right now. You have everything in the world that a man could ever want. A great talent, a promising future—” he nods towards the contract now secured in his bag, then his lips turn to an amused grin. “—and a soulmate to spend your life with.”

“I suppose I am,” Jungkook says, suddenly looking a bit nervous, and yet Namjoon cannot really tell why. He doesn’t want to think much of it, however. He is never one to dwell in other people’s business anyway.

Jungkook clears his throat just when things fall to an awkward silence. Namjoon blames himself for it because he really cannot control his reaction. And it is hard for him to react naturally when Jungkook’s eyes light up when he talks about his soulmate while Namjoon—

“Anyway, yeah,” Jungkook speaks again, breaking the silence with a nervous chuckle. “I think I’ll just let her know about it so we can have a toast through the video call. She’s coming back in a few months too, so I hope I can have something else to celebrate later when she’s here.”

Namjoon smiles at him. “You will. I can feel it. You’re only going to get bigger now, Jungkook. I promise.”

With a determined look in his eyes, Jungkook nods. “Like I said, I trust you,” he says, keeping his eyes on Namjoon’s as he speaks. “I have faith in working with you. Good faith.”

By the time Namjoon arrives back at his apartment, any interest of his to go out tonight has perished.

There is an unsettling feeling that keeps nagging at him in the back of his mind ever since his meeting with Jungkook. Although, it wasn’t even Jungkook’s fault but his own. Or, perhaps, to put it lightly, his personal vendetta against the soulmate system.

Outside, the sun has yet to set and the sky is still bright. Nighttime is still hours away, and yet here he is, standing in his living room while looking out the window, with a glass of scotch in his hand. He may no longer need to escape his thoughts by going out in the crowd, but he sure needs the drink.

Namjoon had meant it when he said that he was jealous of Jungkook. To be honest, he had felt so envious of the boy for a long time. Today, he had just been given a new reason to feel it more.

Ever since he was a student, Jungkook had always seemed like he had a promising future hanging on his shoulders. A good looking boy with good records in his studies starting from the beginning of college. Even as a shy boy, Jungkook had never found any problems in making friends. Everyone loved him, either male or female students, even the professors on campus. Everyone would flock around him whenever he was around. He may not be the life of the party at times, when he would rather stand in the corner somewhere chatting to a friend or two, but people would look around and easily get drawn to him.

And now look at Jungkook today.

All those great records that Jungkook had gained through college had been worth it once he graduated. Jungkook has become an aspiring musician who is also known to be a quick learner, hence why the interest to sign him had been talked about here and there, only that nobody had the gall to actually make the move. Until Namjoon did. After talking with him today, Namjoon had also found out that Jungkook is also a talented producer who has been showing his talent in making videos on the side, even if he has yet to do it more seriously. As if all of those merits aren’t enough, Jungkook had also met the love of his life, something that not everyone would be so lucky enough to find in their lifetime.

For many, finding their soulmates aren’t always an easy task. Some may be as lucky as to find each other in a short time since their countdown started. For the unlucky ones, finding their soulmates could only happen in their dreams, and they would spend most of their lives wondering and questioning if their soulmates truly exist. And most of them would spend their lifetime waiting, searching, hoping that they would be united with the ones that the universe had chosen for them, even if it would take years or decades for it to ever happen.

Most people—except Kim Namjoon.

Namjoon downs his drink until the very last drop of it slips down his throat. The sting from the strong drink makes him wince, but he takes it as a part of his punishment as he silently reflects on his youth. He closes his eyes, letting the silence of his home bring him back to the past, to the uneventful night when his fate got completely twisted.

It had been a long time since Namjoon wondered about his own soulmate. No matter how often he would tell himself that he doesn’t care if the universe had truly decided to change his fate, oftentimes, he would still find himself wondering what it would have been like for him if he had met his soulmate when it was meant to happen.

When he was young, he had once felt the joy and hope of finding his soulmate. But then it changed the moment the numbers first appeared on his wrist. When he found out that he would have to wait until the moment he was close to finishing college to be able to meet his soulmate, he was both nervous and devastated. At that point, he wondered why was he given such a trial? Why did he have to wait so long when everyone around him had so little?

He remembers making various theories about it in the past.

Perhaps his soulmate was someone who was a lot younger than he was. Perhaps she lived in another country, or in a different continent, or maybe it would take a lot of effort for them to finally meet. For the whole year since his countdown started, he tried to figure out all the reasons behind it, constantly wondering if he would ever be able to find her at all. Until it came to a point where it became the only thing that he could think of.

That was when he stopped caring about it too much.

The moment Namjoon started college, he placed those thoughts in the back of his mind and tried not to let them get in his way as he focused on living his life. He studied as hard as he could, focusing on chasing his dreams and building his path to a successful life straight out of college. He had decided that if the universe was going to make him wait to find love, then he wouldn’t want to wait that long to have a good life.

Once he got over it, he managed to have a good life, after all, and he enjoyed every second of it. Hardworking student by day and head of the frat house who held numerous gatherings and parties by night. He enjoyed his responsibility of helping his frat brothers whenever needed, which had then led to his desire to help struggling artists in the future. He enjoyed the attention, how guys would turn to him for advice and girls would come around whenever he needed some special company in the night and some extra warmth. And he enjoyed his life so much, too much, that he was afraid of changes.

That was what he felt when he looked down on the numbers written on his wrist which was counting down to its final hour one day after not paying attention to it for a long time.

He remembers that night all too well, even if he wants so badly to forget. His biggest mistake was rolling the sleeves of his sweater up while talking to his best friend, Jihoon in the kitchen, allowing his friend to see the ticking numbers. Being drunk didn’t stop Jihoon from noticing how close Namjoon was to meeting his soulmate, while Namjoon felt like he wasn’t drunk enough to ignore it.

“Fuck, dude, your timer! Why didn’t you say anything? You’re about to meet your soulmate! Look, only a few minutes left! What the fuck?” Jihoon had shouted then, while Namjoon grew tense. He didn’t want to draw anyone’s attention to what was about to unfold. Especially not then, when he didn’t even know how to react to it.

He still cannot tell or remember why he was feeling so nervous about it or why his chest had felt so tight the moment he watched the hour turning into minutes, then knowing that it would turn into seconds and how he felt like his heart was coming apart when Jihoon pointed it out to him to make him see it happening with his own eyes.

Shouldn’t he be happy about it, when his wait was about to be over?

But he wasn’t ready. That was what he told himself then.

He had thought that he would still have enough time to put his life together before meeting his soulmate. Not because he had not felt like he had enough of everything, but he already built up so much to prepare for his future without having his soulmate in his thoughts that he wasn’t sure he would have enough space for her in his life at all.

And he was also leaving.

Namjoon chuckles bitterly when he remembers the reason why he held that party that night.

It was the end of finals for the students below his year, while he was graduating that year. And he had just gotten an offer from his senior to join his hand in developing his business while learning more about music producing and the marketing around it in the States. It was a similar offer much like what he is giving to Jungkook now, except that he was going to go places to do it, to learn from a lot of people and to experience them firsthand.

How was his soulmate going to fit in when all of that was happening?

Namjoon still cannot believe how much he had messed up then. He had put the thought of his soulmate and any hope of finding her so far in the back of his mind that it totally slipped his memory that night. His mind was so caught up in celebrating the golden opportunity which was handed to him to even bother to look at his countdown, even when his 19-year-old self had once spent all night counting all the hours, minutes, and the seconds that he had to wait until he would meet her.

That night, he would have been celebrating the union with his soulmate too if he hadn’t felt so undeserving of it. Because he surely didn’t deserve to meet the love of his life when he never even thought about her or to plan ahead so he could make her a part of his life which was changing so rapidly. And he wasn’t ready to change anything to make her fit.

That was when he started to deny everything. The words just kept coming out of his stupid mouth when his fear and insecurity took over. He had meant it to stay inside his head as he tried to process everything, but perhaps he was drunk enough to let them all slip out for Jihoon to hear. And God knows who else might have been close enough to hear them talk shit at the time.

Maybe that was the reason why the Fates had decided to punish him for it. For trying to deny what the universe was about to give him, for trying to find reasons for him to not accept his soulmate, and for not trying to make any kind of arrangement that would be beneficial to them if she had truly appeared when the seconds came to stop.

Reaching down to the cuffs on his dress shirt, Namjoon unbuttons his left sleeve and rolls it up to his elbow, revealing the mark that he had carried with him since that night.

‘00:00’

Ever since that uneventful night, the countdown on his wrist had stopped ticking just the way it should have. Though instead of giving him a clue of who his soulmate was, it simply stood still. It was simply as if the Fates were mocking him, showing him how his time with his soulmate ended the very second he tried to deny it while his entire world has kept on turning. Only he also knew that this shouldn’t have happened even if his soulmate was truly gone, as in, that she had passed away or if she had rejected him. The mark should have still shown the flowers that would be able to represent their bond, along with her name written in the center—black ink if she exists somewhere and red if she is no longer living and breathing.

No matter how many books he had read about it, he could never find the answer as to why his timer simply came to a dead halt when it finally turned to zero. He recalls giving it a glance at the final seconds, and seeing his now and then fling, Yeori, stepping into the room. At one point, he held his breath as he anticipated the change in his tattoo, partly worried while also hopeful that Yeori’s appearance would turn the numbers into the expected soulmate mark the moment she came to him.

Not that he was hoping that Yeori was his soulmate, since what they had was never serious, just something to pass up the time until either one of them would find their fated pairs. But being with Yeori was easy. She understood his situation, and she would have understood if he had asked her to wait.

But the numbers simply didn’t change as she came into his arms. It only remained as it were, the set of zeros lining up his wrist, while Yeori’s countdown would turn into a set of Chamomile flowers less than a week after when she met her soulmate during her flight to Bali to celebrate her graduation.

In the past, there was a point where his curiosity had been so huge that he would often find himself looking down on other people’s wrists, trying to see whether they were still waiting or if they had met their fated pairs, before coming home to compare his own mark with them. He had stopped doing so a long time ago. Perhaps about the same time he had stopped caring too much about his countdown.

Maybe that was the reason why he had failed to notice Jungkook’s soulmate mark during the times they kept meeting each other to discuss the contract. While it wouldn’t be so hard for Jungkook to hide it from him either, when the boy would constantly wear long-sleeved shirts or hoodies whenever they met. And with how much the boy had drowned himself with various tattoos marking his skin, showing up on both of his wrists and down to his hands, even, it was no wonder that Namjoon would miss it.

While he managed to catch a glimpse of the purple hyacinth peeking from under Jungkook’s sleeves, Namjoon wasn’t able to see the initials or to even think that it might have been the boy’s soulmate mark.

But what does he care about it? And why should he care?

Jungkook’s relationship with his soulmate is nobody’s business. Even if he is about to become the boy’s boss, Namjoon also cannot find it in him to understand why he is even thinking about this or why he should involve himself in it. He keeps telling himself this as he pours another glass of scotch, deciding that he would just enjoy the night for himself and stop worrying about his friend, while he doesn’t even understand what it is about Jungkook that is making him feel so uneasy.

Back in his apartment, Jungkook sets his phone on his desk as he sits back in front of it, waiting for his video call to get through. On his lap, he holds up a teddy bear which is holding a red pillow in the shape of a heart, with the word “Congratulations!” embroidered at the center.

He feels excited for sharing this moment with you. But at the same time, he also feels nervous. Would it be a good time to tell you the big news, knowing that it would be early morning where you are?

Today is Friday, and Jungkook always thinks about it as a good day. Even better now after signing the contract today and talking to Namjoon about his future with his new agency. And he is hoping that it would be the perfect time for him to share the news with you instead of waiting until the weekends when both of you would be free.

Thankfully, you had informed him last night that today would be your day off, since you had to film a project with the other interns until late at night for the past two nights in a row and the studio agreed to give the interns a day to sleep it off. Suddenly, his guilt starts gripping his chest as he thinks about it. Maybe he should just let you sleep in. It is times like this when he despises the distance, when he would wish that he could be with you there, tending you with breakfast in bed while he would let you sleep until the afternoon after the long week, or wishing that he could hold you in your sleep so he could ease your stress and exhaustion while you would do the same to him.

The call gets through just as he is about to take a quick glance at his clock to make sure that it wouldn’t be too early for you, and your face suddenly appears on the screen, immediately smiling wide when you catch the sight of the cute teddy bear in his hands.

“Congratulations? Is that for me, or is it for you?”

Jungkook grins. “It’s for both of us. The lady at the toy shop actually offered to make me a customized message on the pillow if I wanted to, but I figured asking her to write ‘Producer of The Year’ would be too cheesy.”

You laugh at his joke, looking incredibly relaxed on your bed as your head falls back. Jungkook takes this moment to take you in—the way you look freshened up after your morning shower, with your hair slightly damp and your face looks fresh and clean without any makeup on. Then he notices that you are still wearing a robe.

Except that he had never seen this particular robe before.

The one that you would usually wear after taking your baths is thicker, much fluffier, while this one seems so thin and looks like it is made from silk. The colour is soft, and he recalls it as dusty pink—he only recognises the name after you had made him memorise the shade when he first started dating you, and you always had on your dusty pink scarves whenever he took you out—instead of white, and it is showing him more than it probably should when the middle part dips down so low he can see the swell of your breasts peeking on top.

“Is that robe—new?”

Your smile grows wider, and he suddenly feels a huge pride flowing to his head when you look mighty pleased about him noticing it. “Do you like it?” you ask him with a bashful smile. “When you told me on the text that you had news to share, I had a feeling it would be a good one. I know that you enjoyed the last time we celebrate through our video call so I thought I might give you a nice treat as a gift.”

Jungkook’s heart starts pounding at the memory of that last video call. The same memory had already flashed into his head earlier today, just as Namjoon mentioned about him celebrating this new upgrade in life, and his mind immediately took him back to the morning he came apart in his hands after masturbating while watching you touching yourself.

He still has the memory of that sacred morning engraved in his mind so vividly that each time he would start thinking about it, his body would grow hot with tingles running down south and his hard-on pushing against his pants. Just like how it did today when it came to mind, making him work so hard to hide his reaction from Namjoon. There was no doubt that Namjoon might have noticed his skin flushing red with embarrassment and shame, though he can only hope that nobody had noticed when he was shifting so uncomfortably in his seat to hide his hard-on.

Just like how he is doing now, shifting slightly in his seat with the poor teddy bear laid on top of his lap, doing his best to hide his bulge as he starts thinking about it and after hearing you hinting that he is about to get a repeat from that wild morning.

“Wow—” is the only thing he can say as he suddenly becomes breathless when you shift on the bed, getting comfortable on the pillows. Just like how you did it then.

“So—did you?”

“Did I what?” he stutters, earning a knowing grin coming from you when you catch him getting flustered.

“The contract, silly. Did you end up signing with them?”

At the sound of your giggle, Jungkook smiles at you before shaking his head to snap out of it. “Yes, I did,” he says, shaking the teddy bear at the screen while feigning innocence, hiding the fact that his nerves are still going off like fireworks. “That’s what little Ted here is trying to say.”

“Hmmm, I see,” you hum softly at him as you position your phone so he can get a better view. “Then you better sit back and take your gift now, handsome. This time, I’m going to let you watch.”

So he follows your words and sits back, enjoying the view as you slowly strip down for him, revealing the crotchless panties and a set of bras that are nothing more but a piece of lace barely covering your breasts, and you show them all to him perfectly as you lie back against the headboard. Once you get yourself settled nicely, you spread your legs to give him a clear view of your shaved pussy, before reaching down to spread your folds so he can see everything—the way your clit pops out of your cleft, already swelling while your muscles are throbbing with need, and how you are glistening with your arousal, just as he is growing so hard beneath his pants with his wanton need.

He clenches tightly on the teddy bear to hold back from reaching into his pants to touch himself, unwilling to look away, even as his whole body begins to shudder the moment you slip your fingers between your slit, touching yourself and spreading your wetness from your clit to the pulsing entrance which he wants so badly to touch and to give a taste.

Sitting like this while watching you performing so wantonly for him, Jungkook feels like a true winner. Receiving the biggest deal that would change his future had been a blessing. But this right here, having you showing yourself to him the way only he could ever see it, Jungkook feels like the luckiest bastard alive.

He silently sends his gratitude to the Fates for sending you to him as he listens to the sound of your voice calling his name between your pleasured moans, as he watches your fingers glistening with your arousal, and how you gently push your fingers in between your pussy walls the moment he asks you to with his low and hoarse voice, already so caught up with his needs to please you.

“That’s it, baby. You’re doing great. You’re giving the best gift for me to enjoy for a lifetime,” he says this with a groan, too amused at the beautiful sight of you pleasing yourself for him, while each praises that he is giving you only coaxes you to do more, to give him more, and to go even further as you slowly erupt into your climax.

She is doing all of this for me, Jungkook muses to himself as he let the teddy bear go and pushes his pants down to touch himself, as he wraps his palm around his hard and needy cock and starts stroking just as you continue to push your fingers deep inside you, in and out, going faster and harder as you watch him joining you to chase his own pleasure.

She is giving all of this only for me, Jungkook continues to muse silently, groaning deeply as the realisation also helps push him over the edge, until he is releasing himself into his hand, just as you let out a cry in your final climax. And he takes in everything, sending his blessings to the Fates once more as he sends his vows,

And she’s mine. All mine.

❥ Commissioned by @namgishope​​​

— © 2021 Yoonia, all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any kind is not allowed. translations are not allowed.

[captains-simp]

Carol Danvers ~ Sister's Best Friend

Carol Danvers X Natasha's Sister Reader Smut

Word count: 3,589

Includes: fingering, oral and face sitting

[ masterlist ]

Buy me a coffee ☕

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

You groaned as you heard your sister's bed hitting the wall repeatedly and the occasional loud moan. She really had no shame, or consideration.

It was annoying enough for you that she was interrupting Teenage Bounty Hunters but did she really have to give you this reminder of how single you were? It had been way too long since you got laid.

It was rare to have the opportunity to spend time with your sister. Her work life as an Avenger dug into her personal life big time but despite being a huge work-o-holic, Natasha refused to ever let it ruin the irreplaceable relationship you too had.

So of course you had lept at the chance to go away with her for a week. You knew she was going to bring Wanda; you weren't mad at that though, in fact you were ecstatic because you loved to see your sister in the company of someone she was able to connect with in ways no one else could. They made each other happy, and it made you happy to see. (Although you weren't appreciating hearing the evidence of their sex life.)

But your sister had failed to inform you Carol would also be staying with you. You knew a lot people would give their left arm to be in Carol's company for a week. But you had had a crush on the blonde hero for so long you struggled to be around her without becoming a flustered mess.

Nat knew this. Everyone who knew you knew this. Except Carol. It was hard to cover up the intense blushing and stumbling of words that only occurred when Carol was flirting or just being near you.

Despite Nat's constant teasing about it and pushing you to do something about your crush on her friend, you knew nothing would ever come of it. Carol seemed like a worse work-o-holic than Nat. Definetly not someone who was looking for a relationship. At least, that was what you had assumed.

With a heavy sigh, you turned up the volume on the television but the thudding continued to echo around the house making you cover your ears with your hands and stare at the television.

"Fuck her and her great sex life." You mumbled begrudgingly but froze when you heard a familiar laugh that made your stomach flip.

"You never heard them before?" Carol asked as she leant against the door frame and looked at you with an amused grin.

You had to remind yourself to breathe for a moment as you realized your crush was standing a foot away from you in only an oversized shirt and shorts that you couldn't see. It was only an assumption she even had them on.

You blushed slightly and stared at the tv again - afraid she would notice that your gaze had lingered a little too long on her long, toned legs, afraid she somehow knew you had imagined those legs around your head for a split second.

"Er no." You laughed nervously. What the fuck was wrong with you?! Carol may be an enhanced human, but she was still human. You should be able to function around a human, even if she was illegally hot.

You were caught off guard when Carol slumped down on the sofa next to you; her shirt riding up enough for you to realise she was not, in fact, wearing shorts. You gulped and figited slightly on the sofa.

"I've lost count but my god it doesn't get any less annoying. They're always sneaking off at parties thinking no one can hear, they're lucky I always distract people to another area so they never get busted. Not even a thank you." Carol huffed before glancing at the TV that was showing some sort of action scene now, it was hardly something you were going to pay attention to now.

"She can be inconsiderate." You nodded. "One time I made extra cookies and without even asking she just took the extra ones." You recalled sadly, still mourning the loss of that perfect batch.

You instantly stopped when you realised the two things had zero correlation and you must have appeared just as annoying as your sister to Carol. But when you glanced over at her you saw she was smiling at you in that impossibly cute way made the smile lines around her eyes prominent.

"You must have been livid." She joked. You could only nod.

Your conversation had apparently come to an end and the only thing filling the silence was the TV and the occasional moan. At least the bed had stopped thudding.

You suddenly wondered if Carol felt uncomfortabke being there. Did she want to leave? Should you offer to drive her? You glanced over at her only to see she was already looking at you. Studying you. As though those piercing brown eyes could see every inch of your soul. You felt extremely nervous under her gaze and you hated the familiar feeling of your face heating up. Yet you couldn't help but sneak a glance back at the blonde woman.

She had a mischievous smirk across her lips that made her look more kissable than usual. You gulped as she shifted closer to you on the sofa while you kept your eyes glued to the tv, even when you felt her soft fingers dance lightly on your leg.

You wanted to melt from the simple touch because - unlike her - you were wearing shorts and having your legs crossed made them rise up way too much.

Her warm breath tickled your neck and sent goosebumps throughout your body and left your core throbbing for attention. You hated that it was so easy for her to have that effect on you.

Carol's fingers become a little less light and were now starting to caress your lower thigh. Your breathing increased rapidly along with your need for her but you didn't dare voice those thoughts. Even when her palm came into contact with your skin and pressed down firmly.

"Do I make you nervous, y/n?" She whispered into your ear softly and you couldn't respond. You couldn't get yourself to produce any words as you were so caught up in the movements from her hand.

Carol chuckled slightly and you felt your body become weak from the simple sound. She bit down on your earlobe softly and you had to bite on your lip to stop a moan escaping your mouth.

The gorgeous woman pulled away slightly to look you dead in the eye and your breath caught in your throat. Her eyes seemed darker than usual; as though she was planning a crime in her head and you found yourself thinking you would go along with whatever she asked of you.

Her brown eyes travelled down your face and once they arrived at your lip that was still captured between your teeth she groaned in frustration.

Before you could question what she was doing she pushed you down and pinned you against the arm rest of the sofa. You winced at the pain in your back but found the heat between your legs ignite like a fire and couldn't stop the slight moan.

You widened your eyes in shock at what you'd done but quickly shut them when you felt her soft lips collide with your own. She kissed you desperately, as though she was finally getting something she had wanted for a long time and you didn't hesitate to return the pace and even laced your fingers in her long, silky hair. You tried to push her towards you more but she pulled away to your disappointment.

"Fuck. Finally." She muttered as she positioned herself to straddle your waist then returned to you. Except her lips went past your own and instead attached them to your neck.

You moaned loudly as you felt her come into contact with your sweet spot so quickly. She took this with a new kind of vigour and bit down on the spot making you grip her hair harshly.

The blonde hero then sucked on your skin and you didn't question it for a moment, too caught up in the feeling of her lips against your own and wondering how amazing it would feel if she did that motion somewhere else.

When she pulled away she gazed down at your neck with a proud smirk and traced the mark gently with her finger then kissed you on the lips quickly.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that." She said with a slight laugh.

"Kiss me?" You asked hopefully and she nodded as she leant back to sit on your waist.

"That and mark you as mine." You couldn't help but get extremely turned on at her words. "I've wanted you for the longest time now, y/n." She admitted with confidence as she played with the hem of your shirt, pulling it up slightly to exposed the lower half of your stomach.

She put both hands on your stomach and ran them across the exposed skin. It felt like you were on fire. The contact was one you had craved from her for a while.

"Me too." You said breathlessly, still not over how her lips had felt against my neck. Carol caught onto this and tore her gaze away from your stomach to look at you.

"Breathless already?" You blushed at her question and turned your head to the side.

She moved to lay against you and kissed your jaw as her hands wondered up your shirt, your mind too clouded to remember you weren't wearing a bra under your bed clothes.

However, this fact was brought to your attention when you felt her soft hands cup your breasts under your top. Your eyes shot open and she moaned slightly against you as she felt your hardened nipples that were begging to be touched by her.

She granted their wish and pinched them lightly between her thumb and finger making you moan out in response. She did all this while kissing down your neck again and leaving more hickeys on either side.

Your back arched slightly from the attention and you pulled her face towards yours to kiss her again. She happily obliged to this and bit down softly on your lip. You moaned slightly and parted your lips to let her tongue roam your mouth. Your tongues danced together before Carol's tongue brushed along your teeth and the roof of your mouth, only pulling away to breath before attaching your lips again.

Her hands wondered back down your stomach and rested at the hem of your shorts. You were caught off guard by her hand wondering further only to pull the elastic of your panties towards her and let them go so they snapped against your skin.

You whimpered a little at the motion making Carol smirk against you. She started to massage your upper thighs firmly, occassionly letting her fingers under your shorts only to retract soon after.

You were starting to get frustrated at the repetitive action, wanting her fingers to go further and stay there.

Carol tapped either side of your hips lightly and it took you a moment to understand what she meant. You lifted your hips slightly and moaned when you felt your cores rub together for a split second. Carol pulled your shorts down to your ankles and flung them across the room, not caring about them now they were separated from you.

She stopped kissing you to look at your now bare legs and rested her hand on your panties, letting her finger dip slightly to feel the outline of your pussy lips and the soaked fabric that covered them.

Carol groaned when she realised how wet you were and looked up at you with a dark glint in her eye that was unmistakably lust.

"Is this all for me?" She whispered as she rubbed you through your panties making you squirm slightly beneath her, hating that there was a barrier between you.

"Yes." You breathed out and tried to push your hips up into her but she placed a hand on either side and firmly pushed you back down.

Her dominance only turned you on more as you lay waiting for her to stop her sweet torture and finally give you what you wanted.

Her fingers travelled along the elastic of your panties and she dipped a finger in to stroke your lower lips. You tried to hold your moans back but this was apparently the opposite of what the blonde wanted.

She grabbed your chin in her free hand so you had to look at her, hovering over you like an angel.

"Don't stop yourself. I want to hear those pretty little moans of yours." You could only whimper out a response as you nodded your head eagerly.

Suddenly, you felt a single finger slip into your pussy and you couldn't help but moan out loudly.

It had been so long since you had been touched there, and the fact that it was by someone as beautiful as Carol made things even hotter.

"Good girl." Carol growled with satisfaction and kissed you hard as she slipped her finger fully into you.

You tangled your fingers into her hair again to hold her close to you as she pulled her finger out only to have it return quickly, not realising that everytime she did her palm would press against your clit making the pleasure increase.

She pulled your panties down with her free hand and you eagerly spread your legs in response to give her better access. As soon as you did she slipped a second finger inside with ease and pumped it into you in unison with the first.

"So fucking wet." She muttered between kisses and you moaned more as you felt a gush of wetness hit her fingers at those words.

She started to speed up as her thrusts became harsher, slamming into you at a pace that mirrored you heartbeat.

You started to rock with hips along with her thrusts, desperate to feel as much of her as you could and almost screamed when you felt her fingers curl up to hit your g-spot. It made my body resonate with fire and you threw your head back in pleasure, not believing you were being fingered by someone so beautiful and skilled.

When she pushed a third finger into you you moaned louder and gripped onto the back of her shirt to try to handle the intense amount of pleasure you were feeling. It was like you needed something to help you hold onto reality while the girl ontop of you was rocking your world.

From that reaction, Carol started to fuck you at a harder, rougher pace. Everytime her fingers hit the edge of your pussy you couldn't help but cry out her name along with a string of moans and profanities.

You didn't want it to end, but the pressure was starting to build up in my core, Carol could tell by your walls squeezing around her fingers.

Your body's desperate attempt to keep her inside of you was futile as she instead took this with a new kind of vigour and fucked you faster.

"Carol...please...don't stop!" You begged not caring how you sounded. You just needed her with you, ontop of you and inside you to help you through the high you were about to experience.

"Cum for me." She encouraged and bit down on the top of your neck. With a caress of her fingers you came undone beneath her, screaming her name as you came harder than you ever had before.

You continued to cling onto her back as she helped you through your orgasm by slowing her pace and watching you experience that extreme amount of pleasure that was caused by her.

You kept your eyes shut as you tried to regain your breathing. You were so focused on that and your now throbbing pussy that you were hardly aware of Carol's weight leaving you.

When your eyes finally fluttered open you saw that she had positioned herself between your legs - just inches away from your pussy - and was looking up at you with her signature mischievous grin as she licked each of her fingers clean.

You knew it was her pre-warning that she wasn't done. You were so exhausted that with any other person you would deny them any more, but the after effects of your orgasm were enough to remind you of how she could make you feel with her fingers. You were dying to know what she could do with her tongue.

Carol smirked when you nodded your head and kissed her inner thighs, working her way closer to your core. She flicked her tongue against your bundle of sensitive nerves causing you to lean back and grip onto her hair again as you watched her.

You could feel her smirk against you as she ran her tongue up through your folds then latched onto your clit, sucking hard as you moaned loudly and wrapped your legs around her head to push her into you as much as possible. You wanted to feel her tongue against every inch of your core.

At that thought, she sunk her tongue into you, making you gasp out at the motion before throwing your head back to moan in unison with her.

Feeling the vibrations from her mouth enhanced the pleasure that you could only express by pulling on her hair harder and squeezing your thighs around her.

Her tongue roamed your pussy like she was trying to memorize every inch of it and you loved it. The muscle moved around desperately, hitting all the right spots that made you shudder.

Every time her tongue pressed on one of those areas she withdrew to bite down on your lips making you groan from such an amazingly sharp pain. You couldn't help but wonder if she had a biting fetish or something - not that you were complaining.

Once her tongue dove into your core again you felt her thumb press firm circles around your clit that made your hips raise off of the sofa.

Carol withdrew her thumb to push your hips down again and held you there as her tongue continued to work wonders inside you.

You could feel yourself start to get close to your second orgasm with Carol as your walls started to clench around Carol's tongue, hoping it would stay inside you but instead pushing it out.

She brought her thumb up to your clit again and pressed down directly on it making you moan louder than before and arch you back in ecstasy as you came on Carol's tongue.

You gripped her hair and squeezed your thighs, desperate to keep the beautiful hero where she was to help you ride out your high.

Carol happily accepted this as you felt her tongue desperately move around inside of you in an attempt to get to every last bit of cum she made you release.

She then licked up your lips one last time before lifting herself up to grin triumphantly at you.

You smiled back and - despite your exhaustion - pulled her up with her legs either side of me and guided her towards your head.

She smirked as she realised what you wanted to do before giving you a questioning look.

"Aren't you tired?" You nodded. "That's why I'm staying laying down." You stated matter-of-factly as you pulled her panties, eager to see and taste her.

The moment you pulled her onto your mouth she gasped out. You didn't hesitate to suck on her clit softly, loving the initial taste of her wetness. You got the response you were hoping for and felt her hold onto your hair as she adjusted her position slightly.

You then licked up her folds and moaned at the sweet taste of her that instantly left you wanting more. You sucked on her folds to further please your taste buds and her as you gripped her butt.

You then bravely dipped your tongue inside her earning a loud moan from the woman ontop of you. She started to grind herself onto your tongue and you smiled proudly as you pushed your tongue the rest of the way in and relished in the taste of Carol.

After a few minutes of altering between sucking on her folds and sinking your tongue into her, Carol started to moan your name like a prayer. It was music to your ears that made your stomach flip and core start to heat up again.

Her movements against your mouth started to become more erratic and you knew with one swipe of your tongue you could make her come undone above you.

Excited at the possibility, you sucked on her clit harshly and heard her scream your name before feeling her warm liquid on your tongue that you eagerly lapped up.

Carol shuddered ontop of you before letting go of your hair and falling down beside you.

"Guess we're the inconsiderate ones for once." Carol laughed, you felt yourself blush as you realized just how loud you had both been. Although you didn't regret a second of it.

"Stay in my room tonight?" You asked with a burst of confidence.

Carol smiled at you and leaned over to kiss you on the lips passionately.

"I would love to." She smirked. You smiled at her answer as you wrapped your arms around her neck before falling into another deep kiss that wouldn't be the last.

[k1nky-fool]

The Least Sane Moments

Part 1/?

Masterlist

Vander X OC

Pairing: M/F

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Sexual tension, Canon typical violence, barely proofread and edited, no beta, I'm giving y'all my raw ass writing.

Taglist: @gaybybirth (DM me to be added to the taglist!)

-Vander-

It wasn't often that he saw a new individual in The Last Drop. And when he did, Vander always had the right judgement to decide if he needed to interfere with whatever they were doing. The bar was a hub for all kinds of business transactions, most illegal, but all were under his protection. If something was about to go sideways, he always knew when and how to step in.

Always meaning except for now. And all Vander could do was watch and make sure she stayed right where she was. 

He had no idea who this woman was, and the way she watched the room so intently was starting to make him nervous, especially as the drink in front of her remained untouched. From the looks of the bar, Vander wasn't the only one. Every once in a while, another patron would glance at her out of the corner of their eye, or shift in their seat away from her. 

Their uneasiness was likely because of how comfortable the mysterious woman was. She wore a mask that covered her entire face, making it impossible to see exactly what or who she was so focused on. She wore a floor length skirt that fanned out as though it turned her hidden corner booth into a throne, and her shirt clung tightly to her frame, showing she was muscular and likely an experienced fighter with the hook-swords that rested on her back. 

More people began to notice her, and it was definitely starting to throw everyone off. That, Vander couldn't have. The least he could do for his patrons would be to occupy her. 

Vander made his way to her booth, and sat down next to her like it was a courtesy to everyone else. He didn't say anything, and she didn't even turn her head to look at him. He struck a match with his thumb and lit his pipe, still gaining no attention from her. 

Fine, breaking the ice could be his job. "My drinks that bad, or are you just not thirsty?"

She didn't even spare him a glance. 

"Or maybe something else has captured your focus." 

No movement came from the mysterious woman, but she spoke. "Work." Came a growl like a whisper. Some kind of modulator in the mask must be changing her voice. 

Vander only nodded along, letting out an understanding hum. "If you're waiting for someone, I doubt they're gonna show. You've been here for hours and I'm the only one to even approach your booth here." 

"If you're lucky, he'll be a no-show." She stated with finality. 

"And if he does?" 

"Then I'm the lucky one." The voice modifier glitched as though she gave a small chuckle. 

Vander raised his brow at her, but looked around the bar once again from her vantage point. The entire room was visible from this booth, and her spot was chosen well. 

"Not to sound crude, but is there any situation where we both get lucky?" He asked. 

"One where I'm fast enough, and you're smooth enough, but that second one is looking less likely by the minute." The remark made him laugh a bit, but he was starting to get the picture now. 

"Then I'll leave you to focus on work while I think of a good pick-up line." Vander stood up again, heading back to the counter. For a brief moment, she looked over him like she was finally acknowledging his existence. 

He was barely even behind the bar when she dashed out of her booth like a flash of light. Vander barely had time to realize what she was after until she already had it in her grasp. What he did see was the hook of her sword looped around a man's hand that was holding a pistol. Her other blade was held at his neck. 

Even the shooter was struggling to process exactly what happened because it had all happened in less than a split second. Vander himself was just now putting the pieces together. 

This man had just tried to kill him. And she had just saved his life. 

The woman didn't waste another moment before bringing the butt of her sword across his temple, knocking the shooter out. The pistol clattered to the ground as she slung him over her shoulder. 

She tossed a small bag of coins onto the bar counter for her untouched drink. "Guess I got lucky this time." 

If that had happened to anyone else, Vander might have thought she was just a bounty hunter. Which brought its own problems if he just let bounty hunters come into his bar and start taking people.

But that was an attempt on his own life, which likely meant someone was trying to make a poorly thought out power-play. But if someone knew about it and saved his life, then that had to mean she was either on Vander's side of a war he didn't know about, or she was making a power-play of her own. All of this on top of the fact that she took the attempted shooter alive, which made no sense at all, unless someone was paying her to bring him back alive. 

The entire floor was quiet, everyone wondering just as much as him what the hell just happened. Some appeared just as worried as he was that someone might be out there trying to take over his position in charge of The Lanes. Others just looked concerned for him and were just waiting for him to say he needed help, or that he was fine. Most were curious if he would start a manhunt for the shooter and try to make him pay for the attempt on his life. 

All he could do for now was take it in stride as he picked up the dropped gun and shrugged. "Not a night at The Last Drop without at least one murder attempt, aye?" 

The majority of the patrons laughed it off. If Vander wasn't worried about it, they wouldn't be either. One woman came up to the bar and asked him if he was really alright. Vander just assured her that it wasn't all that surprising, but he'd keep an eye out now. 

She seemed to take his answer, even though Vander was definitely going to get to the bottom of this. 

Only a few hours later, everyone had left The Last Drop and Vander found himself cleaning up on his own. The back door swung open, giving him the only warning he would have for what would happen next. 

"Vander?" Powder called out into the empty hallway as soon as the door was barely even open. 

"I'm just closing up." 

All four of the kids found him, Powder jumping and hugging him the second she saw him, while Vi, Mylo, and Claggor took a seat at the bar counter. 

"What happened? We heard someone tried to blow your brains out." Mylo wondered. 

"And that someone was unsuccessful." Vander said matter-of-factly. 

"Something about a crazy bounty hunter too?" Powder asked. 

"Yeah, something about her." He agreed, lifting Powder up and sitting her on the counter. "I guess she was going after the shooter. Still paid for her drinks, though." 

"Who was she?" Claggor asked. 

"No idea." He answered honestly. "She was smart enough to wear a mask with a voice scrambler, but she didn't seem super interested in sticking around after she'd grabbed her mark."

Mylo shrugged when Claggor looked at him, and Powder just looked relieved that he was alright. Vi, though, could tell something was wrong. She hadn't said anything since she walked in, but Vander could tell she wanted to say something.

"While you're all here, you might as well help me close up. Vi, I could use a hand in the supply room. Everybody else, grab a rag or a broom." He ordered them, getting a few groans from the lot of them. 

Vi followed him to the supply room where he started organizing everything and taking mental note of anything they were running low on. "You got something on your mind, or are you gonna help me out here?" 

"Don't you find this all a little weird?" She asked. 

"Can't say it's never happened before." Vander shrugged. "I try to keep The Last Drop sane, but there's always at least one attempted poisoning or stabbing on the floor a day." 

Vi huffed, "No, I mean the one day someone finally decides to try you, a bounty hunter just happens to come along looking for the guy? It's suspicious as hell!" 

Damn girl was smart. "You might be right." She definitely was. "I certainly doubt it's a coincidence. Regardless of the odds, that woman protected me, and it won't go unnoticed by The Lanes. She's gonna get a few allies, and a lot more enemies because of what happened tonight." 

"So you're just gonna let it slide?" She questioned. 

"No. You know I won't let some bastard try to kill me and not drag his arse through the mud." Vander joked, getting a laugh from the young girl. "I just need to gather some intel before I get to dragging." 

Vi laughed, giving him a side hug as they came out of the supply room. 

It was best the kids didn't know how close of a call it had been. If the bounty hunter had been even a split second too slow, he might not have walked away. The Lanes would see her action as a sacrifice with no hesitation for the sake of his life. That meant more for him than it did for her. 

The people would see Vander as a man in her debt. A debt he would have to pay back to her in one way or another. He didn't like being in the debt of someone he knew well, let alone someone he's never seen the face of. And for her, well, it would surprise him if someone were to make an attempt on her life now that they would assume they were working together. 

And the matter of the guy that actually tried to kill him was a whole different mess. Of his goal was just to make a stupid power-play, then why did someone know about it? There was no way this guy was that stupid. 

Vander would have to get to the bottom of this, and all he had to go on as of now, was the pistol that was left behind. He'd picked it up earlier, but now he actually had the chance to get a good look at it. 

The thing was barely functional. Most of the original pieces were missing and replaced by new ones. This thing had been frequently repaired, but the gun itself was new too. Which meant it likely came from a shop recently. 

The first place on his mind was Benzo's. Vander made his way to the shop, more people than usual watched him as he walked down the street. News always spreads fast down here. 

Benzo's door wasn't even locked thus late at night. "We're closed!" 

"Sounds like a shit business strategy." Vander replied. 

Benzo laughed, "Well, you're never here to buy anything anyway." 

"Then I can't break tradition, now can I?" He laughed back, placing the pistol on the counter. 

"This from your biggest fan?" Benzo asked. 

"Yeah, he dropped it after the hunter knocked him out." He said, "Looks like it came from a shop recently. Figured I'd start with you." 

Benzo looked at the piece carefully. "You were right to. Ekko repaired it, I sold it. I remember the fellow too. Nothing unusual about him, just that he looked scared stupid. Not all that weird for a guy buying a piece for as cheap as he can. Wouldn't have remembered him if it weren't for who came in looking for him." 

That was more promising. "Who was looking for him?" 

The larger man shrugged. "Don't know. Never saw her face, but Ekko recognized her. She asked what he bought, and if the gun was functional. As soon as I told her she was gone. I take it she's probably the woman that saved your ugly mug." 

"You don't know anything about her?" 

"Don't think anybody does." Benzo shrugged. "But you could always try to ask her yourself." 

"I would if I knew where to find her at all." 

"Well, then good thing I know a kid who does." Benzo gestured behind Vander. 

Ekko stood in the doorframe, looking between the two of them. The kid couldn't even be six years old, only a little younger than Powder. 

"Ekko." Vander acknowledged, "Do you know how to find the woman in the mask?" 

"Yeah, but why do you want to find her?" Ekko asked. 

"I'm sure you heard too. She stopped someone that could have killed me. I owe her one." 

The young boy took a second, glancing back at Benzo for a minute. "I'll tell her you're looking, but she'll come find you." 

Vander nodded. "That's all I really can ask. Thank you, Ekko." The boy nodded, running off as fast as he could. "How does he know her?" 

"Told me she protected him." Benzo answered. "Something about a few older kids trying to steal from him. She was waiting at the end of the alley, and scared the shit out of them. But she gave Ekko his stuff back and got him home safe." 

She had a soft spot for kids. Vander doubted she was after a bounty on a couple petty thieves, and she didn't have to help Ekko. 

"You think she's dangerous?" Benzo asked. 

"For Ekko, no." He answered honestly. "I think she's alone, though. Probably a vendetta hunter only going after debts and bounties she hears about." 

"You think she'll meet with you?"

"Only one way to find out." Vander shrugged, heading back out the shop door. If she does show up, it'll be by morning. 

Vander didn't sleep very long. He had to be up well before opening, and he was not a morning person. Along with the thought that either Ekko would show up and say the hunter wouldn't meet with him, or she'd show up herself. 

It was early for a barkeep to be up. And even earlier to be surprised in the alley next to the bar. 

"A little bird told me you're sticking your nose in my business." The modified voice startled him, and if he'd been anyone else, he probably would have jumped away, but he had no idea where her voice was even coming from. 

"Well, it makes sense that I wanted to thank the woman that saved my life." He still couldn't see her. 

"I didn't do it for you." A sudden thud on the ground behind him made it clear where she was. 

She was a little shorter than he remembered her. Though, admittedly someone probably looks bigger when they're throwing an attempted murderer over their shoulder. Now, she was nearly a whole foot shorter than him.

"Then why did you?" He asked. "And why'd you wait until he tried to kill me to grab him?"

"Didn't want to leave a mess." She stated simply. If ever there was a woman of few words. 

Her reason did make sense. If she had gone after him at any other moment, the fight would have trashed the bar, and someone else could have gotten hurt. Waiting until he was focused on his goal to attack was the only way to make sure the least amount of damage was done. 

And if she had attacked him on the way to The Last Drop, anyone on the street could have been caught in the crossfire. She was smart, and did her best given the circumstances. 

"Fair enough." Vander agreed. The woman started to leave, walking past him, but he stepped in front of her to block her path. "I still have questions." 

"I'm sure you do." 

"You know why he went after me?" 

"You have plenty of enemies." She said. 

"I've never met him." 

"Plenty with friends." She argued back, a blank mask staring up at him, hands at her sides without any movement at all.

"Then who hired you to save me from an assassin?"

"Nobody." 

Vander was growing impatient. "You're not giving me a lot to go on here."

She tilted her head to the side with faux innocence, "You noticed?" 

He actually had to look away from her to stop himself from laughing, but even he couldn't help but smile, even if she was vaguely annoying. "Then what can you tell me?" 

"I can tell you anything I want. I just don't want to." 

Vander took another step up to her. Usually he did so for intimidation, but something about her made him sure that not much scared her. There was one thing true about The Lanes, and she made it explicitly clear. Nobody wants to tell you shit unless you got shit to give. 

"Alright. Fair enough. Maybe I could invite you in for drinks. On me, of course." He offered.

He heard that glitch again like she was laughing and the modulator couldn't quite make sense of it. "It's eight in the morning, Vander." 

"A little day-drinking never hurt anyone." He argued back.

She visibly relaxed. "Thank you, but I have to get to work. Don't worry, I'll keep it out of your bar tonight."

"Then the least you can do is tell me your name." 

She tensed up again, and Vander worried he'd crossed a line. She stepped back a bit, looking away from him. "Don't have one to tell." 

So that's what it was about. Not that it was unheard of, in fact a lot of people in the undercity gave themselves names because they didn't grow up with anyone that cared enough to give them one. "Well, I'd like to call you something if you'd let me." 

Her head snapped up to him once again, this time the gesture held surprise and curiosity. "What?" 

"How about Minute? Call you Mita for short?" 

"Minute?" She asked. 

"'Cause I knew you'd be trouble the minute I saw you." 

She looked up the wall of the building she stood in front of, plotting a climbing route. Vander was certain she was just going to jump away and leave him there in silence.

"Mita…" her voice was so quiet the modulator barely picked it up. "I like it." 

She pulled the hook-swords off her back and jumped up, latching onto one of the pipes and using it as leverage to get to the next ledge before disappearing. 

Mita. He didn't get much out of her, but with any luck he'd see her again. Though, Vander had to draw himself a line; he wouldn't ask Ekko to find her again unless one of her problems dropped at his feet again. Now that he had a way to contact her, he didn't want to abuse it. Especially since that only contact was a five-year-old boy. 

The kids went out by noon, and still weren't back. Though Vander wasn't too worried, he knew they were playing by the bridge. It was a pretty slow night, and everyone was gone well before he officially closed. These days, quiet nights are hard to come by. 

Just when Vander thought he could relax, the bell at the front door rang. "We're closed." 

"I can go if you want, but I came to see if your offer was still open." Her voice made him look up immediately. 

"Mita." Was all he could get out for a brief moment. "Sure, the offer's still open. But it depends on how much you drink." 

The glitching laugh in her modulator made him smile again. "I'll be sure to control myself." She comforted. 

"Well, pull up a stool. What'll you be having?" 

"What do you have that has a fifty-fifty chance of killing me?" 

Vander nodded, knowing the exact kind of thing she was looking for. Mita watched him with unwavering focus as he brought out the bottle and poured both of them a glass. It was hard not to immediately start asking questions. Not only did he want the ones she had refused to answer earlier, but he was also curious about why she'd changed her mind about coming here at all. 

Instead, he leaned against the counter in comfortable silence, taking the first drink to assure Mita that the bottle wasn't poisoned. 

Mita's hand went up to her jaw, pressing a button that clicked, and opened the mask right down the center. It took everything in Vander to not stare at her; to see her face for the first time and obsessively watch the expressions that she'd kept private until now. 

She comfortably slid the two halves of the mask to the side of the helmet, and took the whole thing off her head, placing it on the counter beside her. Mita took a deep breath in, relaxing with the breath of fresh air without the faceplate in the way. 

Now Vander watched, suddenly all the more enamored as she brought the glass of hard liquor to her lips. 

He wasn't exactly sure what he was expecting, but somehow she was definitely a battle-hardened bounty hunter. She was a pale thing. Short, dark red hair was cropped close to her head and looked a mess from being in that helmet all day. The stress lines around brown eyes and across the rest of her face told him she was around his age; probably fighting with those swords long before the oldest of the kids ever saw the light of day. 

Vander wasn't sure what Mita looked like when well rested, and stress free, but whatever that looked like, this wasn't it. "Rough day?"

She sighed, trying to let out the stress that came with her job. "A typical day." 

Her unmodified voice was still low and meticulous, but smoother than the mask made it. Really the mask only added some crackle and deeper tones to an already intimidating voice. But right now, Mita wasn't intimidating; she sounded soft, and perhaps a little defeated. 

"Oh so a normal day doesn't look like heroically saving a man's life?" He joked, earning a small smile from her. 

"I'd love for that to be a normal day." She chuckled. "Maybe I could get more kind gentlemen offering a free drink or two." 

"Then what does a typical day look like for you?" 

"A hell of a lot less exciting, and not nearly as rewarding." Mita gestured to her glass again. "Most of my work is just following tracks; some marks are just bad at covering theirs up like your favorite patron." 

Vander nodded in agreement. "You never did tell me how you knew he was after me." 

"Because of who he owed a debt to." She explained. "Someone who hates you quite a bit. He thought killing you could repay that debt. When he scrambled, I was hired to bring him back alive, but I didn't know it was you he was looking for until he was already here. But you don't need to worry about getting shot at again. My employer got so angry he killed the guy himself." 

While it would be invaluable to know who hired her that hated him so much, Vander knew better than to ask. "You're right, that's quite a day. So what brings you here?" 

Mita thought for a second. "I'm not exactly sure." She said. "I just didn't want to be alone." 

"There's a few places that specialize in that profession around here. So why me?" 

She smiled again. "You're the only one that knows my name." 

Vander wasn't sure why the comment struck him the way it did. It made him want her to stay much longer than he knew she would. It made her smile seem all the more important, and made him realize just how vulnerable of a state she was in right now. 

He saw her face. Heard her voice. Knew her name. As of now, nobody else in the world could say the same. 

All too quickly, he also realized he hadn't said anything in a while, and she hadn't either. 

Mita's soft smile hadn't changed, and she comfortably leaned against the counter, simply taking in Vander's presence like just him being there was enough to heal the aches and tiredness that had accumulated throughout her day. And for some reason, he felt the same. 

"So, what's a typical day look like for The Hound of the Underground?" She asked playfully. 

"Ah, well, not nearly as exciting as yours, but if I had a coin for every time someone nearly died here, I could close up shop for good." He chuckled. 

"If you're empty this early, I take it today was slow." She noted. "You get one in here tonight?" 

"Yeah, actually." He recalled. "Today was a botched poisoning. Young girl, trying to capsize an older fellow that was creepin' on her. She just wasn't as slick as she thought." 

"He saw?" 

"No, her poison was too strong. He tasted it with just a sip." 

"Maybe I could give her a few pointers." Mita joked. 

"I doubt a girl like her would take too well to fancy hook-swords." 

"Come on now, Vander. Of all the things you've learned about me in the last twenty-four hours, you didn't pick up on how non-confrontational I am?" She poked at his arm. 

"Well, I know you stay away from catching other people in the crossfire." He allowed. "But poison? You just don't seem the type." 

"That's the best time to poison someone." She pointed out, getting a laugh out of him.

"Alright then, what would you have done, smooth poisoner?" He asked. 

"Depends on the drink he's having." She pulled out a small box from the pouch on her belt, opening it to show Vander what was held inside. The box had nearly ten vials of various liquids and powders, all of which were labeled as some kind of poison or antidote. Mita picked out a few. "I'd say these four are best for subtle poisoning."

"If he's drinking hard liquor, I wouldn't feel too worried about using cyanide. It's effective, fast, and doesn't take a lot to kill a very large man, but it's bitter, and will be noticed very fast in just about any other drink." She explained. 

"Alright, what about mixed drinks? Some are very delicate, and others are pretty strong." Vander had to admit, the interest on her face when she pulled out the poisons was outright beaming, and he didn't want her to stop.

"Can't go wrong with ricin." She picked up the fourth of the vials, but he noticed this one was filled with a white powder. "Put it on food, in a drink, or anything else the victim will ingest. Odorless, tasteless, and unnoticeable until the guy is already dead. But it is a bit slower to take action as it slowly makes the victim grow more ill." 

"Subtle if you don't want anybody to know you killed them." Vander noted. "But what if I needed him to drop dead faster?" 

Mita grinned, moving the third vial forward. "Nightshade." She said, "Sweet to taste and smell, but it takes quite a lot to kill a full grown man quickly. It'll also mess with the color, so either you hope he's drinking something dark, or you'll have to risk the bitter cyanide or slow ricin." 

That was certainly interesting. Mita grinned, Watching him consider her expertise. Normally someone displaying their finest poisons would be an intimidation tactic or a foolish boast. But the way she smiled made Vander sure that it was a sign of trust. 

Why she trusted him, he didn't know. Why he was so happy about it was also a mystery to him, but he wanted to know the extent of her trust, and how much he wanted to do the same. 

Vander leaned forward on his elbows, bringing himself nose to nose with Mita. She didn't lean back; only tilting her head to the side as though she was unimpressed. "And do tell me, Mita. What if you wanted to kill me?"

"Depends on exactly what I'm trying to prove." She considered, "I know fighting you gives me only a fifty-fifty chance of surviving, so that's only if I need to prove I'm stronger than you." 

"Optimistic, but what if you just wanted me dead." 

"I would want you to know it was me that killed you." Mita said, "So I might show off my poisons, tell you what they do, and how to slip them into someone's drink." 

"But I might be expecting you to poison me now. Maybe I won't leave my drink anywhere near you." He took another sip from his glass, still not looking away from her.

"I wouldn't slip a poison into your drink." She stated, laughing slightly, but he was close enough that he felt her breath on his beard. 

"Then what would you do?" 

Mita smirked. "I'd flirt a bit. Tease you a little, maybe let you give me a name, and give you just enough attention to drive you mad." 

"I think I'm following so far."

"Good. Because I would use a poison I haven't told you about yet." Mita picked up the second vial, and placed it in his hand. "This is a concoction of my own design. One that I regularly take an antidote to. Very potent, tasteless and odorless." 

"And what would you do with this?" Vander asked, looking away for a second to see what the liquid even looked like. It was a pale pink, almost syrupy in consistency. 

"Once I've got you completely enamored with me, I would bring you close, and keep teasing you. Maybe offer a touch or two. Just enough to make us both excited, but never enough for either of us." She continued.

"Hey, now this seems a little familiar." He joked, looking back up in time to see her smile again.  

"All of this until you can't take it anymore, and you can't help but kiss me like doing so would save your life again." Mita lifted a hand tracing her fingers so lightly across his jaw. "Only to find the poison was on my lips the whole time." 

Neither of them moved, and Vander found it hard to breathe. "But that's only if you wanted to kill me." 

"Right." She agreed. 

"How fast does that one act?" He asked, his voice quiet. 

Mita snuck a glance down to his lips, still gently raking her nails through his beard. "Less than a minute."

He hummed, knowing full well that he had only known this woman for twenty-four hours, and he had no reason to trust her other than saving his life was a by-product of her job for a night. Still, Mita's words were hard to ignore, and her touch offered only more difficulty. 

Vander wanted to know if she trusted him, but it seems Mita was calling the shots in this game. Now he had to decide if she was bluffing, or if she really did have a deadly poison on her lips. 

Her feather-like touch made it all too easy to call her bluff. Vander leaned forward, catching her lips on his, earning a surprised moan from Mita. She held his jaw with both her hands, nails digging into his skin lightly as she sighed.

The kiss was more like a command from Vander than a question, but Mita still answered with enthusiasm. He cupped her jaw and slipped his tongue just past her lips, and she didn't even hesitate to let him deepen the kiss. But he only allowed it for a moment before pulling away, leaving her riled up, and wanting for more. 

Her eyes were wide when she finally pulled away. "You cocky bastard." She accused.

"I like to call it courage." Vander defended. 

"I think I'll call it what it is." Mita took another vial out of her box and put it between them, collecting the other four. "It's called stupidity." 

Vander read the label on the side Antidote. His heart dropped. 

Mita finished her drink quickly and grabbed her helmet, placing it back on her head. 

"You actually poisoned me!?"

The mask slid back over her face as she looked back at him from the door. 

"Only one way to find out." 

Without another word, she was gone. 

The test wasn't actually calling her bluff. Either he didn't trust her not to poison him and would take the antidote to play it safe, or he did trust her, and he'd risk his life to prove that to her. 

Fuck, that was some woman. 

[sekceesimps]

Dying Light (a yandere Zhongli x reader oneshot)

summary: Zhongli comes to claim his darling after she fails to fulfill her end of the contract 

a/n I wish I could say this was requested but I love this man too much. Writing this one had me feeling some kind of way… Hope you all enjoy and leave some requests (pls do yandere Genshin 🤧 smh)! 

Sincerely Coffee

His dark hair shines vividly in the solemn moonlight. Amber eyes radiant, like the purest of diamonds, and fixated right on you. You stand before him and try to subtly shrink away under his piercing gaze. The candles in the room flicker from some gusts of wind coming in. Zhongli seems stiff and at attention, but at the same time far away, lost in thought. Your light and unconscious movement backwards out of fear, unnoticed by you, immediately snapped the archon’s thoughts back to you. 

A ghost of a smile begins to dance its way onto his handsome face, a stark difference to the dangerous threats he had whispered into your ear just moments ago. The light gave him an eerie appearance. 

“Darling Y/N, I’m afraid that you didn’t uphold your end of the bargain,” he frowned and cocked his head mockingly. You step backwards some more until your back hits the wall of the funeral parlor. He has a predatory gaze now as he steps forward and pins a hand on the surface next to your head. He leans forward to further take in your panic. It brought him distress to see that you weren’t comfortable around him. 

“I’m sure you were a good girl and read the fine print. Surely you must be aware that at the end of our contract, if it was that you couldn’t fulfill your end of the deal, then you must join the greatest contract of all time with me?” he continues and runs another hand hand teasingly down your jaw. 

“Perhaps you could entertain me and tell me what that greatest contract is?” you ask hesitantly. Beginning to feel the gravity of the situation as you notice the way the archon caresses you and looks at you with eyes filled with a dangerous sort of adoration. 

“Oh Y/N, you’ve been bad, I thought you understood everything when you signed. I mean marriage of course,” he answered gleefully, eyes sparkling with affection and excitement at your shocked expression. 

Yes, just when did this feeling for you begin, he had pondered to himself. There was no mistaking that these emotions he felt for you were love. He was sure that you also loved him, so why did you look so afraid? He would show you again how perfect the two of you are. 

- - - 

Zhongli is not one to break his word. He is the archon of contracts after all. When you had approached him, as Rex Lapis, a few months ago he had decided to learn much more about you.  

You were an interesting mortal and had almost immediately caught the God’s attention. The geo archon had taken to shying away from the affairs of humans over the last hundred years or two. However he tended to make exceptions for interesting people with even more interesting requests. 

“I’d like to ask for some help,” your melodic voice said, breaking the silence in Rex Lapis’s abode. “If that means signing into a contract with you, then I accept,”

He appeared near you in an instant, “Even if that means not getting the best deal?” he asks, startling you slightly. 

“Yes,” you breathe out lightly. 

“Hmm, you’ve caught my interest,” he responds, putting a hand to his chin, as if he was thinking long and hard about a potential deal with you, “do go on with what you need my help for” he finishes. Of course, he already knew what you needed. He had been watching you for quite a while, but he loved hearing your voice and being near you for once. 

“I need to find someone and I can’t do it by myself. Could you please lend me your strength and assistance as I look for this person” you practically begged him. Oh how he wanted to hear your begging in a different context. It was taking everything within him to not tug you by your hair and bring you to his side forever by force. He knew that you probably wouldn’t appreciate that and he still had to do his job and draft a contract. That is when the idea had struck him to skillfully find a way to keep you with him forever. 

“Very well, let us start writing up a contract then,” he pronounces with a tone of disinterest, secretly preening with joy on the inside. You perk up and smile largely at him, it brought him satisfaction knowing that he made you feel like that. 

“Alright that should be everything,” he finishes and removes his quill from the scroll. “I will come to you whenever you need help, all you must do is call out my name. As for my benefit, all you need to do is find this person you hold dear and that will be enough for me. You have the next 70 days to complete this, of course there will be a punishment if you can’t fulfill your end. However I have the most faith in your skills.” you nod at him in confirmation as you take the pen from him and leave a scrawling signature on the paper. A glowing binding tying you to the archon, prompting you to blush at how close the two of you were now. “Don’t disappoint me, Y/N'' he whispered and let you leave his abode with a smile. The first step in his plan to make you his was finished. Time to wait for your inevitable failure. 

Now he wasn’t going to actively make you fail, he still was true to his job and bound himself to you so that you could call him for help. He would still assist you as well. However, he agreed to what you wanted because he knew the task itself was impossible. This brother you were looking for was long gone for sure, he made sure of that before he signed on to your contract. He couldn’t wait for when the two of you would finally be spending the next few weeks together. 

 Zhongli was smart about the way he conducted himself around you. He was careful not to give you any hints of his true intentions. Sometimes though there would be foolish people who pushed him. Whenever he saw you talking with, brushing arms with, or giving attention to others, the archon would be fuming. Of course, he would let it simmer, playing for the long game instead. It never failed to make him angry and anxious that these insignificant mortals thought they had a change with his future wife, it caused him to let out a tsch in annoyance. 

The two of you had wonderful moments in your quest. Your ability to work well together in battle allowed for quick defeats of random hilichurls on the journey. Truly your skills were something he admired and loved about you. 

The first night you left a parting goodnight kiss on his cheek was what made him truly believe in life again. Your warm lips against his skin ignited a flame within him that he didn’t know he yearned to have lit.  It began to become a sort of tradition between you two for the next months. 

 His favorite moment with you by far was when the two of you had been drinking and you allowed him to come into your bed. Now, not in THAT way. You didn’t like how he had been sleeping on the ground whenever you spent the night in a tavern so you told him to just sleep in the bed with you. It had been an awkward fit at first due to his taller frame. His long limbs were cramped painfully so you let him wrap his arms carefully around your body. Both of you take in and are intoxicated by the other’s warmth. He could get used to the way you faced him and nuzzled your face into his neck. He had fallen asleep and had the most wonderful rest for the first time in a while. 

After the two of you woke up and cuddled in the morning, “Should the day ever come where we are not together, you will continue to shine like gold in my memories” he had smiled and gently taken your hand into his own as he brushed his lips softly against your knuckles. His words and soft actions prompting a light blush across your face. 

He didn’t know how much longer he could wait for you. Every moment he was with you, but not truly in the way he desired wound him up more and more. He knew he would snap very soon. 

- - - 

You tremble against the cold breeze and his warm touch as he leans closer to you and captures your warm lips with his own in a passionate kiss. His hands traveling down further onto your flushed skin. 

Now that you were his in an unbreakable bond, he finally felt at ease. With you, Zhongli felt at home for the first time in thousands of years. He would protect you from any and all threats. If it meant keeping you safe with him, then he would tear apart all of Teyvat. After all, you belonged to this archon now. 

As the sun begins to rise, you notice the dying light within the parlor, fading candles leaving behind a darker atmosphere. A perfect metaphor you think, if he kept touching you like this then you knew that your own resolve would also die out, completely accepting the ownership that he had over you. 

Zhongli notices your wandering gaze before he takes your face between his slender fingers and forces you to look up at him. “Perhaps you’ve forgotten how much you mean to me. Let me remind you,” he announces as he lifts you up and brings you towards his room. Indeed, he would be spending the next few hours reminding you of his love, before you embark on the next chapter of your lives together, courtesy of his subclause turning you into an adeptus in addition to being his wife forever more. He had all the time in the world to get you to comply and love him as dearly as he loves you.

a/n why am I so in love with this man 🧎‍♀️

[toasterdrake]

Behind Closed Doors

Natasha Romanoff x gn!Reader

Genre: friends-with-benefits-with-complicated-feelings

Word Count: 1K

Warnings: implication of sexy times

Summary: As a publicity gimmick, you and Natasha go on a talk show. But what happens behind closed doors is much more important.

A/N: my puns are evolving so much they include gifs <3. Me? Use consistent motifs? Nah. I tried something different with this, and I really don't know how I feel about the result or even what that is. Enjoy!

(Gif not mine)

���🚪🚪

"Alright, [Y/N]. I'm going to show you a picture, and you tell me what you see," The host explained, gesturing to the giant TV screen that had been wheeled out.

"Ok, I'm ready!" You said, eagerly leaning forward to rest your elbows on your thighs, your chin resting on your folded hands. Your focus was fixed decisively on the screen. You were determined to take in every single detail.

Natasha watched you with her careful public smile; muted in her deceptively shiny emerald eyes.

"Alright, here we go," The host said, rubbing his hands together like a sly grasshopper conducting a performance.

The picture was of Natasha.

It was Natasha.

And God, she looked hot.

Her waves of fire were tied into a low, wispy bun, her pearl earrings ghosts burning your own. She was looking down, clearly focused on watching her next elegant step past the long folds of her sleek black dress, which she had bunched up delicately around her thighs to allow ascending steps a little easier. The dress hugged her figure perfectly, a slit up one side taunting. Her arms were bare except for glittering bands around her upper arms holding the dress secure. Her shoulders were also bare, collarbone thrown into sharp relief by luck of the capture of her movements. A crystalline aquamarine necklace cascaded like a chandelier just above her breasts, which were supported in a dangerously low cup by the dress alone. The washed out evening sun played with light and shadow like a passionate painter, enhancing the delicate curves of her divine form. She glowed more incandescently than sunlight.

Your mouth went bone dry.

You were pretty sure you stopped breathing.

You missed the half concerned, half skeptical look Natasha sent you as your stunned silence dragged on.

It took a few seconds to return to the moment -- to realise the host was speaking to you: asking, "What colour was the carpet?" With the arrogant grin of a predator who knows he's trapped his prey.

The shadowed audience murmured a dispute of harmonious discourse. It was all white noise in your ears.

You tore your gaze from the picture only when the screen was wheeled away. It still flashed in your mind, refusing to leave you in peace as you stared blankly at the host's slate of a face, searching desperately for an answer.

A sharp blur of Natasha on the sofa next to you.

Dumbly, you squeaked out, "There was a carpet?"

The audience roared. The host's grin stretched into a hyena's mocking laugh. Natasha's careful smile turned outright guarded as she employed control to not show the effect it had on her.

You blushed impossibly red.

Natasha grazed your hand to ask silently if you were okay. 

Everyone laughed along until the tension eked out through the studio's windows like saccharine sap.

The interview moved on.

Natasha was told to track a chocolate piece as it was shuffled, and entirely missed the rubber duck. Her self-deprecating jokes twitched your brow down into the tiniest crease. You stayed quiet.

You said your goodbyes as awkwardly as your introductions, and retired to your provided dressing rooms as though they were a breath of fresh air.

A light rap echoed through the heavy wooden door. Suspecting who it was, you invited them in without moving from your place slumped on a chair. You only tilted your head down from staring vacantly at the ceiling, when they slipped inside unobtrusively and closed the door behind them with the gentlest click.

Unsurprisingly, it was Natasha. Her gaze roamed around the room, taking everything in, before settling on you. She returned your genuine smile and, upon receiving no objection, draped herself across your lap on the chair. Your hands went instinctively to her waist. Her skin was chokingly warm beneath the dress.

You watched her somberly as she stroked your cheekbone with the pad of her thumb. She studied your face, trying to read your expression and what it meant.

"What happened back there?" She finally whispered into the non-existent space between you.

You took a long second to answer, as if collecting your energy to produce sound. 

"What part do you mean? All of it was hell."

Your voice barely rose above a deep rasp, rumbling gutturally in your chest.

Natasha smiled demurely.

"Your game. It was like you blacked out," She explained, speaking patiently to coax you into understanding.

You only shrugged, and she let you.

You surged up to tug at her bottom lip. She answered you with a begging groan, so you enveloped them fully.

You teased the folds of her dress, teased the taut skin of her neck, teased the mold of her soft thighs. Natasha encouraged you with wanton moans cascading from fevered lips.

In the still that followed, breath recollected, you confessed your reason for distraction. She took it in the stride of rose-tinted cheeks.

You confessed the desire to worship her as the sun-bringer she was. She told you that you could play pretend between her thighs. You pressed a kiss to her forehead and outlined your holy book.

You left the building by separate routes. The warmth of the other's closeness lingered on the palms of your hearts.

Fans swarmed you like dehydrated animals to a watering hole. Your cars took different routes to the hotel.

Natasha allowed you to worship her as the sun-bringer she is, on the condition you see yourself as her galaxy. You knew you could only be a moon in orbit, inching closer to the pull of her gravity until it burned you to a crisp. You accepted the deal, happy to smolder beneath her touch.

🚪🚪🚪

love,

- bi-rd ☕

[donutloverxo]

Stevie's new beard

*gif by @marvelheroes*

Birthday shot #2 & Kinktober day 8 - Beard kink

Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission.

Dividers by @whimsicalrogers

Summary - You have some strong feelings about Steve’s new look.

Warnings - 18+ only please, smut(m/f), dom Steve, daddy kink.

Pairing - Steve Rogers x female reader

Word count - 2.5k

Masterlists are linked in the bio!

One more swift turn over the corner, your eyes squinting as you tried to concentrate, “That’ll show him,” grumbling under your breathe, pressing the scissors down, “done.” With a smirk on your face.

You had been working on cutting out Steve’s face from your honeymoon album. An album you had spent hours on, your blood, sweet and tears, literally, you must’ve gotten like five paper cuts working on it. But none of that mattered. You were mad.

No, you were fuming.

The previous year, you hadn’t been able to celebrate your birthday with Steve since he was called on an emergency mission. Which was fine at the time you had only been dating for a few weeks. And when he went to Siberia over a month ago, you thought he’d be back for your birthday for sure. Then you’d get to have him pamper you and baby you for the whole day, not that you needed such an excuse, but still.

It was one in the morning, your birthday had already started and you doubted that Steve would be able to make it. He had gone silent a week ago, for his teams and your safety.

Well, by the time he’s back you’ll have cut him out of all your pictures. Maybe you’d even go stay at your sister’s for a while. You missed her and needed a vacation and teach Steve a lesson. You wouldn’t be back until he’s growling on his knees - begging for your forgiveness.

Or maybe... he wouldn’t care. Maybe he’d be glad that you’re gone. You didn’t know what you’d do if that happened, you always seem to be weighing him down. You understood that being married to Captain America meant that you had to share him with the rest of the world. Most of times, you were alright with that. You didn’t care much for the Captain, he was fine but he was no Steve Rogers.

You sighed, giving up on your little project, thinking about maybe calling it a night. Hopefully your friends remember your birthday and do something special for you.

Slipping into Steve’s t-shirt – because as much as you were mad at him, you really did miss him. This was the longest you had been away from him.

Fluffing your pillow, keeping Mister Steebie next to you, you climbed on top of it. Ready to switch off the lights -

“Hey there, sweetheart,” you gasped when you heard the low rumble, clutching your neck, taken aback and panting.

Taking a deep breathe, you looked at your door over your shoulder, sighing when you noticed it’s Steve.

Except it wasn’t...?

“What the fuck?” you frowned and did a double take.

Getting off your bed and walking over to the door. He was still dressed in his dark stealth suit, his dirty blonde hair swept back, his jaw covered in a thick beard - a few shades darker than his hair.

You stopped a few steps away from him, taking in his new look. You didn’t know what to make of it but it did make you shiver - for some reason.

Your lips pressed in a flat line as you stared at him. He spread his arms out, in an attempt to hug you, probably, trying to close the distance between you but you took a step back. Eyeing him suspiciously.

“What’s wrong, doll?” he tilted his head to the side, giving you his Disney eyes.

“What’s wrong with your face?” you spat.

“What do you mean?” his eyebrows scrunched together as he rubbed a hand over his beard.

“Don’t do that!” you admonished him, folding your hands under your titts, perking them up.

“Do what?” scratching his beard, “You’re not making any sense, doll. Didn’t you miss me?”

“I did,” you huffed, “Do you know what date it is?”

“Yes, I do know. That’s why I’m here. I got back as soon as the mission wrapped up. Now come here and let me give you a birthday kiss,” extending an arm towards you.

“Nuh-uh,” you shook your head.

“Why?” he pouted. “I made it back in time, just like I said I would. I missed you, come on just one kiss... wait a minute. Is this about the beard?” You nodded. “You hate it? Tony said you would, I just didn’t have time to shave. I’ll go do it now then.” Since he was desperate for kisses and cuddles.

“No, don’t!” You pressed a palm on his chest, in an effort to stop him. “I mean, sure if you want to... but I don’t hate it. It’s kind of the opposite... I think. I just need time to process this.”

“Doll,” he exasperated, sighing, 'politely’ trying to tell you off. “I’m tired. And you’re really not making any sense.”

“I just fucking love your beard, ok!” you snapped. Your cheeks heating up at the brash confession. Clenching your thighs together. You shouldn’t like it as much as you did. It hides Steve’s beautiful face and makes him look so feral and dangerous. So not Steve.

“Really?” he quirked a brow, pulling you flush against his chest, “how much do you like it, puppy?”

“I - I don’t know...” Still embarrassed, you hide your face over his heart, rubbing your cheek against the rough kevlar of his suit. “I like it a lot, I think. Please keep it?”

He hummed, “But you won’t even look at me.”

“It’s a lot to take in, okay? It’s like, ugh remember when you saw me in my wedding dress?”

He'd never forget, he had cried like a baby. “This is nothing like that,” he rolled his eyes.

“It’s... give me some time. Small steps.” Bringing up a shaky hand to touch his soft fuzzy jaw, “Oh! Remember that time I bought that forties style nightie. And you went to town on me?” looking up at him, “This is like that.”

He nodded, finally understanding. “I get it, doll. But I’m afraid I don’t have time for ‘small steps’. I missed you so much,” Rutting his erection into your belly - as if to physically prove it. “And I need to make your birthday special. Treat the birthday girl right, huh?” He pressed his thumb on your cheekbone, caressing it, dipping his neck down to kiss you but you pulled away.

You hugged him again, standing on your tippy toes and nuzzling your nose in the crook his neck, his beard tickling you ever so slightly.

“I thought you wouldn’t make it. That I’d be all alone.” You whined. And then he comes back looking this good! Making it impossible for you to stay mad at him.

“Of course, I made it. Couldn’t let my best girl be alone. Now let me kiss you,” you shook your head again, “fine then. We can do your small steps. Let me eat you out,” biting the shell of your ear, “I’m hungry, doll.”

There was no way you could say no to that. “Oh - okay,” you gulped a huge lump of air.

Suddenly, he swept you off your feet, throwing you over his shoulder, his hand kneading your ass before smacking it, “Missed this sweet ass too.” he said, throwing you on top of the mattress. “I like this shirt on you, pup,” he smiled, his heart swelled as he felt strangely possessive of you, hovering above you, “But it had to come off.”

With a lack of finesse, his greedy hands ripped the poor clothing to shreds. He hadn’t gone so long without you. He needed to be inside you as soon as he could.

“Stevie!” You tried to chastise him.

He threw the shirt away, growling at the sight of your naked breasts, your hard pebbles, your hands coming up to cover them from his dark eyes. That won’t do, he pulled them away, pinning them beside your head. “What do you think you’re doing?” he frowned

You shuddered. Really, a beard shouldn’t make that much of a significant difference but it made him all the more intimidating. “Sorry, daddy.” You pouted. If nothing else, the D-word always worked.

He shook his head, capturing a nipple in his mouth, grazing it with his teeth. He made sure to run his beard over your breast. Letting go of your twisting hand as it clenched on the back of his head. Your back arching, pushing more your body to him.

With a loud ‘pop’ he let go of your hard nub, shoving two fingers in your mouth and ordering you to suck and like he obedient doll you were - you followed.

He pulled his fingers out, snaking his hand between your legs, dipping them in your heat. Then he noticed it and frowned.

Looking to his side, a sack of flour? No, looked fluffy enough to be cotton. “What is this?” he wanted to know.

You were too far gone to even register his words but you vaguely heard him. You bit your lip, following his eyes. “Oh, that’s Mister Steebie.”

“What?”

“That’s you. I missed you and I needed a cuddle buddy. So I stuffed some cotton in a sack, dressed him in your flannel and drew your face on him.”

His 'face' was just two dots with a blue sharpie, golden hair on his head and a pink mouth. “It’s cute.” he chuckled, grabbing ‘Steebie' and putting him on the floor, “But you don’t need him. You have the real thing now,” he reminded you, trailing kisses down your body, pushing your thighs apart to make room for him and settling between them.

“I suppose I should upgrade him now. Draw the beard on. I wonder if I have a brown sharpie,” you mused, yelping when you felt his teeth grazing over your clit. “God!” you heaved, propping yourself up on your elbows you looked down at him. A few strands of his hair had fallen on his forehead, he looked ethereal. “You’re so pretty, Stevie.” Your hand caressing his face.

He leaned into it, having been touch starved for over a month. “You’re the pretty one, pup. Now, will you be good for me? Let me treat my birthday girl right?”

You nodded. Laying back down, running your fingers through his longer locks.

“Did you touch yourself while I was gone?” he asked

“No, I followed your rules.”

“Good, I didn’t either.” Not that he had the time or space to anyway. But he wanted to save himself for you.

“Thor told me, women like a nice thick beard,” rubbing his face on your inner thighs, “he’s a bit of an oversharer. But I knew you’d like it too. Guess I was right.” He was smug about it too. He knew you inside and out. More than anybody else, maybe more than you know yourself.

He pushed your thighs apart as you squirmed above him, trying to clamp them on his head. “Now, sweetheart. I thought you promised to be good. Do I need to tie you up?”

You furiously shook your head. “No, please! I’ll be good.” Normally, you’d love to be tied up. But you needed to touch him, his face and his hair.

“I know it’s hard, pup, just try a little harder,” He tongue nudging at your entrance. His fingers spreading your lips apart, “such a pretty pussy,” he praised.

Wrapping his mouth around your clit and pushing his fingers in your pussy. He made sure to gather as much of your slick over his beard as he could, to make a mess of it.

You threw your head back, trying your best to stay still, it was too overwhelming, too good, “Stevie! Stop, stop please,” you begged, pulling on his hair.

He immediately pulled away, hovering back over you, inspecting you for any distress.

“I want to come with you inside me. Please.” you said, fluttering your lashes.

He sighed, “Don’t scare me like that.”

“Come on! It’s my birthday. You have to do as I say,” you giggled.

“As you wish,” he shook his head. He would’ve given in even if it wasn’t your birthday.

His fingers scrambling to get his dick out of his suit. Kissing your neck, sucking on your special spot, he pushed inside you. Digging his fingers in your hips, he bit your neck, “So fucking tight, doll.” He groaned, he was at the end of his rope, he couldn’t take it anymore, snapping his hips with a swift thrust he buried himself inside you.

“Stevie,” you mewled, feeling his tip pressing against your special spot. “Right there!”

Pulling his cock out and then pushing back, “Here?” he wiggled his hips, pressing his lips to your jaw.

“Yeah,” you gave a shaky reply. Already on the edge as he kept ramming in on your g-spot. “Steve, kiss me please?” You needed to feel his lips on yours, to feel his beards on your face.

Circling a hand under your waist to pull you up and closer to him, his hips setting a punishing pace, he crashed his lips on yours. Clashing your teeth together. He moaned as you pulled his bottom lip with your teeth, before kissing him again.

Letting go of his lips, just for a second to pepper kisses all over his beard and then kissing him deeply.

You clenched around his length, pulling his hair, biting the hilt to his jaw to stifle your scream. Waves of pleasure crashing over you one after another.

He came right after you, with a few more thrusts, filling you to the brim. He collapsed on top of you, careful not to crush you.

He laid beside you, on his side your bodies still connected. He couldn’t have any of his spend escaping your tight cunt.

He kissed the crown of your head. “You liked your first gift?” he asked as you hummed. “Don’t worry, I got plenty more for you.” he smirked already feeling himself get hard again in your pussy.

When you were quiet for a while, so unusual for you, your fingers playing with his beard, “What’s wrong, pup?” He tilted your face up so he could see it.

“Nothing,” you shook your head. Suddenly feeling guilty for ruining your precious pictures. “They need you more than I ever will - your team and this world.”

“That’s... true. You don’t need me. You’re a strong woman, if anything I need you. But that’s a good thing, sweetheart. You want me. And that's enough for me.”

“Really?” Your lips curling up in a big grin as you nuzzled his beard, feeling awfully proud of yourself.

Steve’s heart was big enough to share him with the entire world. That he could still love you more than you could even begin to comprehend. And always make his way back to you. You wouldn’t have it any other way.

Tags will be in the reblog! Click the link in the bio to be join the taglist or shoot me an ask/dm.

Comments and reblogs are really appreciated! ❤❤

[alexhogh7137]

The God and the Seer ~

Ivar the Boneless × the Reader (Hecate)

Chapter one is here..

Chapter Two: The Scotland Castle of Witchcraft

Story Summary~After the Seers death, Ivar seeks another Seer for not only him but for his people. But once he finds you, he finds more than just a Seer's gift.

**Hecate meaning~the Goddess of Magic, Witchcraft and Necromancy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your kingdom was on an island, off of the main roads, surrounded by water. Your parents chose this kingdom because of how special and different your family was. Before you were born, your parents were feared and outcasted by the people surrounding Scotland. Your father was on a mission to keep his wife, who was carrying you in her belly at the time, as safe as possible. That was when he found a castle inhabited by a single man. His people abandoned him and it was just him, alone in a big castle. The king was old and harmless. The king was begging your parents to put him out of his misery. He explained how everyone he loved had joined the gods and all of his people left him to die. So with a heavy heart, your father agreed to allow your mother to cast him under a spell that would allow him to pass peacefully. However, your mother was fully prepared to do that anyways. Your mother trusts no one, except her husband.

When you were two, your mother became enraged by a group of men who were stalking your families kingdom. One night, while you and your father slept, she went out and tried to keep her family safe. By herself Your father could envision your mother captured by the group of men . They offered to keep her alive if they could rule over Scotland. Your father was considering it but your mother refused. She said "i love you. Tell Hecate I love her!" And just like that, she set herself, as well as all of the men, up in flames. Your father stood there, helpless. He could do nothing to save her. He couldn't protect her. But he will protect you. That is what he did. Suddenly you got too dangerous. But instead of letting you get yourself killed, he placed a spell upon you that he learned from his wife, when you were twelve. Not long after he put you to sleep, a king came to Scotland because he had heard rumors of your father's capabilities. His name was Ragnar Lothbrok and he was offering to take your father to his kingdom. He would have a place for him to sleep, feed him and in exchange he would tell him and his people about their futures. Of course, he agreed. Before he left, he kissed your face and whispered, "stay safe Hecate, stay strong." Now, you look at yourself in the mirror and you guess your age. Possibly in your twenties. Crazy.

...

You are still trying to wrap your head around what your mother had told you. You don't understand. You don't know how you could ever love a man who hurt you in such a way. You don't know the man's name, you can only see his face. He has bright blue eyes. You can't get those eyes out of your mind.

"Snap out of it Hecate. You have work to do."

You rummage through the castle, trying to find your mother's belongings: her spell books, her journals and her clothes. You find a drawer with all of her books. Bingo. You gather all of her belongings, put on one of her robes and took the books outside and sat by the waterways. You read and read until it was nightfall. The last words you read before your eyes got too heavy to keep open was 'Manipulate Minds and Mind Control'.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ivar has been trying to think of ways to find a new seer without anyone knowing and that has proven to be very difficult. He had no other choice but to ask Hvitserk for help.

Hvitserk "Why would i help you Ivar, hmm? You are the one who killed him-"

Ivar "I know that Hvitserk! Do you think that i have forgotten that quickly huh?!" Hvitserk doesn't say a word, only scuffs. "I regret it. I just have had enough of his stories!"

Hvitserk "He tells everyone what they do and do not want to hear Ivar. But most people do not kill people because they don't like what they want hear!" Ivar snickers, "What are you even asking of me?"

Ivar "I need you to travel to find her!" He snaps.

Hvitserk "Her?" Ivar pauses. He didn't realize that he said 'her'. "How can you be so certain?"

Ivar "I am not sure." He starts to crutch himself away from Hvitserk but he follows him. "When you-you asked me where to go i just.."

Hvitserk "You just what?"

Ivar "I could see her, sitting by water."

Hvitserk "A vision?"

Ivar "No-no, not a vision. It was as if i was sitting there with her."

Hvitserk "How is that possible?"

Ivar "I don't know Hvitserk. I have never experienced this before."

Hvitserk "What did she look like?"

Ivar "I could not see her face. I just saw her black robe, her brown hair..there were books all around her." He spoke with his hands to try to revision it.

Hvitserk "What did the area look like?"

Ivar "Scotland."

Hvitserk slowly nods, "And you are certain she is a seer?"

Ivar "No Hvitserk. I think that she is much more."

Hvitserk takes a few steps backwards, "What could be more than a seer?"

Ivar "We shall see, won't we?" Hvitserk does not say a word, just walks away from his brother. Ivar sits down on his thrown and Freydis joins him on her own throne.

Freydis "Oh, I've seen that face Ivar."

Ivar "Hmm?"

Freydis "You are thinking. I don't like when you are thinking for too long Ivar."

Ivar "I just saw some things a few moments ago that i can't understand."

Freydis "What did you see?" she asked in her soft, angelic tone of voice.

Ivar "A woman. She was by water, just reading." Freydis just waits for him to say more but he does not.

Freydis "That is it?"

Ivar slowly nods, "I don't know why i saw her. Why the gods showed me her."

Freydis "Everything happens for a reason Ivar. Not everything will make sense until they come to be." He smiles softly at his beautiful wife and kisses her knuckles.

Ivar "You are right, my sweet. Let's eat hmm?" She nods and she leaves him to go order the chefs to cook them a meal. As soon as she left, his smile faded and a concerned look fell upon his face. He couldn't get her out of his mind the remainder of the night. As soon as he closed his eyes, he saw your face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You awoke as soon as the sun ray kissed your cheeks. You grown as your sore bones and muscles crunched on the rocks.

"Shit.." you try to stand but your legs feel as if they are broken into pieces. "What?.." your legs don't work anymore. This is impossible. You've always been able to walk but all of a sudden, you lost the ability? How can this be? You try to push through the pain and stood up. But as soon as you attempted to take your first steps forward, you fell face down into the freezing cold water in front of you. You scream and you crawl your way out of the sea. You use your arms to crawl your way out and back onto the rocks.

"What is happening to me?! WHY IS THIS-"

Ivar's POV (in his head)

"HAPPENING TO ME?!" He looks around him as if he is searching for you himself, that was how loud and clear he could hear you. But of course, you were not there.

Ivar "Freydis!" She rushes over to him.

Freydis "Ivar what is it?!"

Ivar "Why were you screaming?"

Freydis "No one was screaming Ivar."

Ivar lets his crutches fall.

Ivar "How? I heard screams!"

Freydis "Maybe you should go to bed Ivar.." he tries to control his breathing and tries to control his thoughts. He slowly shakes his head and starts walking his way to his room.

Hecate's POV:

You crawl your way back to the books, trying to find a spell to help your legs. You try to move your legs to fold back into your body and your bones break. You scream out in agony..

Ivar's POV:

His braces fail him and he falls to the ground. His bones have be broken once again. Freydis rushes to his aid but he pushes her away from him.

Freydis "Ivar, your legs!"

Ivar groans, "They..they broke?! They haven't in months!" This is impossible. It is as if someone is feeling what he is feeling but vise versa. What is happening? Why is this happening?

@hvitserkmarcosource @youbloodymadgenius @ivarsgoddess @readsalot73 @heavenly1927 @saldelys @herestherealproblem @chaotic-shadow-witch @xceafh

[gladerwolfstarkimagines]

Not just a soft princess - Azula x female reader imagine: Part One

Imagine being the earth king’s niece and princess of Ba Sing Se, who impresses Azula so much she decides to take you back to the fire nation with her...

Part two here

Part three here

Part four here

Part five here

Part six here

Azula’s POV

Here in the supposed “greatest” city in all the earth kingdom Azula had to admit she wasn’t impressed. The cities defences were abysmal, the whole population naively ignorant to the war and the poor were sickly and weak while the rich pompous and frail. The whole city was the opposite of fire nation efficiency but there were two things Azula admired; the dai li and you, coincidentally the two intertwined. 

You weren’t a dai li agent yourself, Azula supposed your title didn’t permit it, but you did train with them all regularly and Azula had seen first hand your skills.  When she arrived as a kyoshi warrior with Mai and Ty lee the earth king was only too eager to bring you out to show them. Azula supposed you’d be some helpless stereotypical princess but when you appeared before her she was surprised. Firstly because of how you were dressed. She figured you’d look like that god awful doll her uncle sent her as a child but there was not a skirt or dress in sight. You were in practical training clothes, your hair in messy plaits and your face gleaming with sweat from whatever physical activity you’d evidently just been doing. You certainly didn’t dress as she expected but you still looked like a princess to her. You had an easy appeal and noticeability that could only be royalty. Azula bowed to you with surprising ease. “This is y/n my niece and the jewel of the earth kingdom” the earth king declared happily. Azula resisted the urge to roll her eyes at his comment but saw everyone in the room was watching you fondly. All the guards smiled as you laughed and their eyes softened looking at you as a father would a daughter, The whole elite force was smitten with you and Azula was determined to use that. 

The earth king too her on a tour of the kingdom and Azula kept an eye on you as you followed along too. You started talking to Mai and Ty lee and she couldn’t believe she’d gotten the old king while they got you. When you reached a large yard however she was surprised to see you excuse yourself from Mai and Ty lee and rush to the soldiers down below. “Ahh we can’t kept that girl from the sparring yard, it’s her second home”. Azula watched the soldiers reactions to you and knew the earth king was telling the truth. “Y/n...” Azula said carefully “she trains with the dai li often...despite her title?” Azula asked. The earth king nodded “yes, ever since she was a child she wanted to learn, her parents were tragically killed when she was young so she came to me and infant and i’m ashamed to admit we indulged her in any hobby she wanted, archery, sword fighting, ostrichhorse riding and of course earth bending...I know they’re not usual activities a princess indulges in but I couldn’t say no to her and now she’s the best earth bender in Ba Sing Sei, just watch and you’ll see”. Azula followed his gaze to where you stood joking with a group of dai li agents. Four of you were stood in a square all armed and ready to spar. You were clearly confident and while the others took defensive positions you just carried on joking around. A bell was rung and Azula frowned as the three men all turned to you. “Three on one?” Azula asked and the earth king laughed “that’s nothing for my niece, watch”. Azula did watch as you tossed the men aside easily with your bending, so easily you showboated and took your time using flashy strikes to please the crowd that had gathered to watch. Azula had to smirk at you cockiness, you were good and apparently you knew it. “She is talented” Azula nodded as you finally showed mercy and eliminated the last man. “She’s the earth kingdom’s pride and joy” the earth king smiled and Azula realised the king wasn’t exaggerating. Long feng didn’t run Ba Sing Sei nor did the earth king...the key to the kingdom was you and Azula was determined to get you. 

So Azula’s plan started to revolve around you and she considered her options. There were easy ways to get your support of course, she knew she could challenge you to a fight. She’d watched you in closely in training and admired your form but growing up adored and protected by half the kingdom she doubted you’d actually have the killer instinct in battle. So overpowering you would be easy but Azula had a feeling fear wouldn’t work here. The people seemed so loyal to you, even if the odds were stacked against them they’d fight to defend you. So using force wouldn’t make the city bend so Azula had one option. She had to get you on side.

Your POV

You were just about to go meet with the war council when there was knock on your door. You opened it and were pleasantly surprised to see it was the leader of the kyoshi warriors. The warriors had been here several days now and they interested you greatly but with training and war councils you hadn’t got much time to speak to them so it was nice to see one of them in your doorway. You bowed and let her into your room a little excited and flushed, a real kyoshi warrior was in your room! “What can I do for you?” you asked happy to assist a warrior in any way but the girl’s response was not what you were expecting. 

“You war council is doomed to fail”. When you paused in shock the warrior smiled “that is where you were going isn’t it? Same time every day...your schedule is easy to pinpoint, you should be cautious of that princess”. Her tone confused you but you ignored her comment and focused on what she’d said about the war “how is the council doomed? We have the avatar on our side!”. “Yes but he’s not here right now is he? What if the fire nation attacked? How would you defend yourself?”. “Well we’d....the dai li are amazing benders, they’d defend against any breach...but there’s no point worrying about the fire nation we’d know if an army was outside our gates”. “What if they’re already inside?”. The kyoshi warrior was really creeping you out and you couldn’t understand why she was saying all this to you. Frustrated you sighed “Why are you saying all this it’s not like any of it is true. If you have concerns we can raise them at the war meeting”. “It’s too late for that” the warrior smirked and you rolled your eyes utterly done with this awkward encounter “and why is that?”. "Because i am Azula, princess of the fire nation and i’m here to conquer your city". 

Azula’s POV

Azula was impressed, not even a second after she’d finished speaking you attacked her and not to capture her...maybe you did have the killer instinct...but Azula was better. She easily outmanoeuvred your attacks, her theory about you never having been in a proper lethal fight proving to be true, and returned the fire. Literally. You soon has to use your earth bending for defence and that gave Azula the chance to attack, exactly what she did best. Azula had you cornered and secured within minutes. You glared as she chained your hands and stepped away from you surveying her work. "So what i’m the fire nation’s prisoner now?” you yelled once you realised the chain wouldn’t budge. “I won’t comply so you may as well silence me properly and be done with it" you spat. The look in your eye was so sharp it impressed Azula and she smiled, not just a soft princess at all. "No, you're more use to me alive" she said simply. "How?" you asked and Azula’s smile grew. She walked around you, a shark circling it’s prey, admiring the catch she’d caught. "I’ll be honest, your dai li have impressed me. Their skill and efficiency. Their determination....all qualities they seem to have taught you and that is why they are so protective over you but they are flawed...they listen to long feng". “Impossible! we arrested him after the avatar exposed his treachery”. “For someone so cocky you aren’t half naive” Azula smirked “of course long feng is not done, I actually made a deal with him directly to take your city”. Azula smiled as your anger exploded and you struggled against the chains to attack her. “Calm down” she smiled "they obey long feng but that’s not who they are loyal too....that’s where you come in. The army is loyal to you, they all adore you and who would do anything for you, they follow long feng but he’s just the figure head, it’s you they really fight for. You're their leader not the earth king and if you ordered them to stand down or even....to defect to the fire nation. They’d listen".

Your POV

"Why on earth would i do that! There’s no way i’d ever help you or betray my people". "Well princess it’s more complicated than that” Azula smirked coming closer. “As soon as i have the dai li it’s over. I could keep you out of the way long enough to use long feng to get them...sure some of them might resist but i’m sure long feng with put them down, then I will put him down. I could conquer Ba Sing Sei the old fashioned way, with blood and infighting or you can help me take it peacefully. You can order them to swear loyalty to me and it will all be over. If you refuse many will die but the result will be the same, i will win. You can choose to save your people and prevent all that. If you side with me and tell your citizens not to resist then i will be merciful. No violence needs to occur, no more blood will be shed. It will be a peaceful take over...unless you make it otherwise". "Peaceful?" You asked "since when have the fire nation been merciful". "We’re not" Azula admitted "but for you I can make the exception...or you can see fire nation ferocity at it’s worst....it’s down to you". You thought it over thinking of everything that would erupt if you resisted. "You have my word, princess to princess, if you get your people to obey nobody will be harmed. You won’t be harmed. I promise" Azula told you, her voice smooth like silk. You looked up and met the princess’s glowing eyes. They were scarily focused and bright but they weren’t deceitful. She meant what she said, If you agreed she wouldn’t attack your people, nobody would die. So you hung your head and sighed “I accept your deal, I will make my people cooperate and defect to the fire nation”. Azula smiled and let you out of the handcuffs “well there’s no time like the present”.

Azula’s POV

Azula was in an amazing mood as she walked to the throne room, Mai Ty lee and you beside her. You walked infront where she could keep an eye on you and Mai and Ty lee looked at her, “did she....is it done?” Ty lee whispered and Azula smiled “the princess is mine...now for the army and then the kingdom”. 

Azula entered the throne room alone and almost smirked to see long feng stood by the throne. “Princess Azula” he smiled patronisingly “your plan worked, the city is mine”. “Yours?” Azula asked and Long feng grinned “sorry to double cross you but i’m sure you understand...you’d have done the same thing if you were smart enough to think of it”. Azula resisted the urge to smile and looked at the man “ow? So you think I am without a plan? That I have been beaten?”. “Well of course you have! I have the army and so I have Ba sing sei”. “But what if you didn’t have the army?” Azula asked smiling. Long feng stared “Of course I have them! My men are loyal to me, I’ve trained them from when they were boys...why on earth would they side with you a stranger and an outsider over me?” Long Feng sneered and Azula smirked. “Because of her”. 

Your POV

On cue you walked out from behind her and Azula smirked to see Long Feng jolt in surprise. “Princess....” he stammered “I...this woman isn’t a kyoshi warrior she’s from the fire nation! She’s here to attack us!”. “I know who she is but she is not the threat here, you are”. Azula smiled at you approvingly. In order for the dai li to believe you, you had to pretend you and Azula were allies, you had to remove long feng and leave no doubt in the soldiers mind who the enemy was. “You kept the war a secret for years! You put me and my uncle in danger our whole lives, Azula has been honest with me and she’s offered me a deal, no harm will come to Ba Sing Sei, as long as we surrender to the fire nation”. “You cannot be serious?” Long feng cried but you raised a hand cutting him off “it’s your recklessness that has brought us here i’m merely saving the lives of my people! Azula’s alliance will protect everyone, none of you have to put your lives at risk” you said loudly addressing the dai li directly “so put down your weapons, swear allegiance to me through Azula and this will all be over”. Silence settled and Long feng smirked “you stupid child...” when a loud clatter of weapons being dropped cut him off. Every single dai li agent dropped their weapons and bowed. “We swear out allegiance” they said in unison and Azula smiled “perfect, your first order....arrest long feng”. The soldiers looked to you and you nodded your head. Immediately Long feng was seized and brought to your feet. Azula looked at you and you knew what she wanted you to say “put him in the deepest cell we have and let him rot”. Azula smirked as the guards filed out, you went to follow but the princess caught your arm “not so fast I have a task for you, it’s time to address your city”. 

"The fire nation has conquered Ba Sing Sei but there is no need to be fearful" you said to the large crowd so many scared and confused faces you struggled to carry on but you had to. You gripped the piece of paper tighter and carried on. "Their only wish is to assimilate our great city into their empire and i have been assured our cooperation will make the transition safe and swift. The fire nation are not to be feared, i am allied with them as are the dai li. You have nothing to fear. Rejoice the fire nation" you finished and Azula nodded "good, we will leave for the fire nation immediately”. “We’ll....i’ll be what?”. “Well you didn’t think I’d let you stay here did you?”. “But I...I gave you my word”. “And as sweet as that is I’m not stupid leaving you here in your city...well that’d give anyone ideas about a rebellion, no you will come back to the fire nation with me as will the dai li”. “For how long?” you asked and Azula shrugged “who cares? Your uncle escaped his cell and disappeared with the avatar, they left you. Your army is in service to me and your city isn’t yours anymore....what do you have worth staying here?”. You looked down and Azula smiled thinking she’d broken you but she was wrong. 

You were surprisingly unwatched after they put you onto the airship. Probably because there wasn’t any earth for you to bend but you didn’t need earth for what you planned to do. You snook past the people on the deck, quickly rushing away as you saw the prince and one of Azula’s friends stood there. You caught your breath thankful they hadn’t seen you and carried on. Azula’s chambers were also surprisingly unguarded but you weren’t too shocked. Azula was probably so happy with her victory nothing could make her feel mortal. You planned to change that. You let yourself into her room quietly and gripped the dagger in your right hand. You shut the door without making a sound and waited for your eyes to adjust. You made out Azula’s bed and a figure in it. You carefully crossed the room and came to stand beside it, the princess was snoring softly and you lifted your hand with the knife. You brought your hand down when suddenly a hand shot up and gripped your wrist. Another hand shot out and punched you in the stomach and the knife clattered to the floor. You pulled yourself away and scrambled after it. “Seeing as you can’t bend I won’t either” Azula called before following you. She grabbed one of your legs but you kicked out hard and caught her. She made a noise of pain and you gripped the knife. You dove on her without a thought and aimed for where would cause the most damage. Azula caught your knife with a piece of cloth and twirled it out of your hand sending it flying across the room. You followed it with your eyes and in that second Azula slammed you down onto the floor hard. You hit your head and breathed haggardly, the wind knocked out of you. Azula bound your hands and searched you for any more knives “just the one?” she laughed “not a good assassin...but I have to admit I am pleased you tried to kill me” she smirked. “You’re pleased?” you asked confused and Azula nodded “it proves what i suspected...you’re brave and head strong, you have fire” she smiled poking you hard in the chest “i like that”. “Is that why you decided to bring me to the fire nation, you think i’ll fit in?”. Azula smirked “no you’ll definitely stand out but you’ll be interesting”. Azula got off you and stood up straightened her tunic. She drew open the curtains and looked out. “Come here” she said and when you glared at her she smirked “don’t you want to see the fire nation?”. That did peak your interest and so, your ego and body bruised, you carefully got up and came to stand beside the princess. The sun was just rising and a massive city was coming into focus. The city was still a fair distance away but you could easily make out a large extravagant building. “Is that the...”. “The palace?” Azula smirked “your new home”. The way she said it made you shiver but not just in fear, it was also in anticipation. You weren’t sure how but you could feel that this was where your life would be determined. You’d always known you weren’t meant to live sheltered in Ba Sing Sei forever and this was the confirmation. This would change your life. 

[moongoddessmox]

Henry Cavill Filmography - A Review

This is a list of everything Henry Cavill has been in, according to IMDB, and excluding things that are not released. I will be watching everything that I can and reviewing each one.

Side note: I will be referring to him as Cavill, as I have bad personal vibes with his first name, rip

1) The Witcher (2019-2021) Netflix

Love love love. This is exactly the type of shit I love to watch. I’ve barely played the game, but man this show is amazing. I love him in it and god he’s so delicious. Ideal man. Unpopular opinion: I don’t like Yennifer. Idk, I preferred her character before her transformation. I would have to rewatch the first season, but she seems kinda weak now, no spark. Is that the intention? Idk I don’t remember, but the show is a 10/10 regardless.

2) Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021) HBO Max

3) Enola Holmes (2020) Netflix

4) Night Hunter (2018) Amazon Prime Video

Hm. Interesting. Cavill, always a looker. So gruff and grizzly, daddy af. His ass in those pants? Fuck. Acab except for him. The movie was okay, it wasn’t bad but it was missing that oomf. I’m confused on his relationship with Rachel? Like, I got the impression that they had an affair but I don’t think it was ever mentioned, and idk, it was just weird because it was never explained why they were standoffish. Also, I will need to watch more of his stuff, but he seemed kinda stiff in this movie, idk if that’s just because he’s built like two mac trucks or what but the movie overall gets a 5/10. Cavill gets a 7/10, not convinced this was his best. However, I would let me shove his gun in my mouth and I would say thank you.

5) Mission: Impossible - Fallout (2018) Paramount Plus

I’ve never actually seen any of the Mission Impossible movies but this was pretty good. Ngl, it felt very acting and not acting, like, it was obvious acting idk how to describe it. Cavill looking fine as ever, he can manhandle me any day of the year. His ass in those pants? Daddy? Sorry, Daddy? Sorry...I wish he didn’t have an American accent tho, kinda felt weird, like it was almost American but not. I thought he was great in it though, god I love him. 9/10 Cavill, 10/10 screen time, 6/10 movie

6) Justice League (2017) HBO Max

7) Sand Castle (2017) Netflix

8) Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) HBO Max

Damn, this movie long as fuck. NOT looking forward to seeing Justice League bc that shit is 4 hours long...when did movies stop being 1hr 30min??? Anyway, this movie was good. Very action packed, great story, Superman...yum...Batman? Let’s be honest, Ben Affleck do be kinda hot ngl. 10/10 Cavill, 9/10 movie.

9) The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015) Tubi

10) Man of Steel (2013) HBO Max

Mm, mm, mm. Never seen a Superman movie tbh, and lawd. Wish he wasn’t clean cut as Superman, how he first looked was daddy af, but ya know. Good movie, Amy Adams is one of those actors that I just don’t like for no reason, so eh. But 9/10 movie, 10/10 Cavill. Also, let us mention Zod animal crawling up the side of the building like he's a gd furry, let us also mention Zod's skin tight ass suit, when he took off the armor and was just left in that Cling Wrap 9000 and was supposed to be tougher, he just looked dumb lmfao

11) The Cold Light of Day (2012) MovieSphere (Amazon Channel)

12) Immortals (2011) Amazon Buy or Rent

13) The Tudors (2007-2010) Showtime

14) Blood Creek (2009) Tubi

15) Whatever Works (2009) Amazon Buy or Rent

16) Stardust (2007) Netflix

17) Tristan + Isolde (2006) Cinamax

18) Hellraiser: Hellworld (2005) SlingTV

19) Red Riding Hood (2005) DVD

20) Midsomer Murders (S7 E1 2003) IMDB TV (Amazon)

I didn’t actually watch the full episode, F. But he was so adorable! So cute, so young! Baby Cavill did great, I was actually really surprised by how good this little role was because it's one of his first things. But the show is really good, my mom is obsessed with it, and he did great for the short bit he was in it.

21) I Capture the Castle (2003) IMDB TV (Amazon)

22) Goodbye, Mr. Chips (2002) DVD

23) The Inspector Lynley Mysteries (S1 E2 2002) BritBox (Amazon)

24) The Count of Monte Cristo (2002) DVD

25) Vendetta (2001) Torrent

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 33

A/N:  Hope you guys enjoy this one...⛪️

August 7th, 2020

Aberdeen Bloom was nervous as fuck.  

It was Game 4, less than 24 hours after giving up a 3-0 lead, and the Leafs were on the brink of elimination.  The boys were quiet.  Focused.  Only had one thing on their mind.  They didn’t want to leave the bubble.  They wanted to prove everybody wrong – everybody.  Their coaches.  Their bosses.  Their fans.  Their haters.  The media.  Themselves.  This was their opportunity to show everybody what they could do.  

Aberdeen couldn’t even think about it without trembling.  She never in a million years thought hockey would make her feel this way.  It didn’t help the love of her life was a major part of it.  And it didn’t help that Alec had texted her early this morning.

Looks like the boys might cost you a writing job if they get eliminated early.  Not many shenanigans to get up to in, what, ten days?  Article might be a bust.

I’ll have 10,000 words written for you as promised was what she texted back.  She didn’t want to stroke his ego, play along with his games, or have him think she wasn’t going to produce just because he thought they might leave early.  It didn’t matter to her.  Even if they did leave early, she could still do it.  She knew she could.  She knew she had to, because she couldn’t blow this opportunity.

They morning had been anxiety-ridden at best.  She hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep, tossing and turning after getting off the phone with William, and then because of the text, she was barely eating breakfast.  Apparently, it was noticeable to the boys, because John had come over to her table and brought her a plate stacked fruit.  “If we can eat, you can eat,” he said as he set it in front of her.  Mitch ended up coming to sit across from her at the table, and John took the other seat.  William approached, standing six feet away, and Auston too.  They were congregating, which made her even more nervous.  

“Thanks,” she mumbled, forking a strawberry and putting it into her mouth reluctantly.  “You guys aren’t nervous?” she posed the question to all of them.

John shrugged.  “We know what we need to do.  We just have to go out there and do it.”

Aberdeen didn’t know how he could be so calm, as the captain of the team.  Then again, he was John fucking Tavares, and calm seemed to be his middle name.  She nodded her head.  “I don’t mean to be a nervous wreck.  I’m just not used to playoff hockey, as you can imagine.  This is all new.  I never knew I could feel this way about a sport.”

That made John laugh a bit.  “Not about a sport, but definitely about a book, right?”

She couldn’t help but smile slightly as she forked at a piece of watermelon.  “Definitely about a book.”

“How’s the article coming along?” William asked.

Aberdeen almost dropped her fork on her plate.  All the guys turned their heads towards him at the same time skeptically, then towards her at the same time, their eyebrows furrowed.  Her body felt like it was on fire.  She hadn’t told anybody about the article – except William, of course.  She assumed Brendan sort-of-kind-of knew since he set her up for it, but she hadn’t said anything to him.  William was the only one who knew.  Her cheeks flushed red.  

“What article?” Mitch asked, turning his head back and forth between the two of them once more.

“Yeah, what article?” Auston asked.

“It uh, it’s—um, it’s a thing for Toronto Life,” Aberdeen stuttered out.  

“Toronto Life?!” Mitch repeated excitedly.  

“Yeah,” she nodded slowly.  “Brendan uh, Brendan put me up for it.  It’s, like…an audition.  I don’t know.”

“An audition?  So like if it’s good they’ll publish it?” Mitch kept asking questions.

“Basically, yeah.”

“Well what’s it about?”

Aberdeen gulped.  “Um, life in the bubble.”

The boys looked taken aback for a brief moment.  She knew they were trying to hold back the emotion, but she could see it in their eyes.  She wondered if they were thinking the worst now.  She wondered if Auston was looking at her and thinking that all she wanted to do in this bubble was get a scoop like Steve Simmons.  She wondered if Mitch was looking at her and thinking that she was going to write some scathing article about how he was being paid $10.8 million to not show up in the playoffs, like most articles were saying.  She prepared for the worst, honestly.  She really did.  Because she knew these guys had been betrayed before.  She knew the media were constantly down their throats.  She knew all they wanted was a little reprieve from that.  And now, someone they knew, someone they worked with – someone they trusted completely – was writing something about life in the bubble?  When she was in the bubble with them?

“Life in the bubble, huh?  So, like how we play video games the entire day ‘cause we can’t do anything else in here?” Mitch asked.

Her stomach was in knots.  But that follow-up from Mitch was definitely not was she was expecting.  Truth be told, she didn’t know what she was expecting – anger, maybe?  Caution?  Suspicion? – but it definitely wasn’t Mitch saying that.  “Something like that,” she said.  “I’m trying to, like, capture how hard it is for you guys to be in here.  How hard it is to be away from your families.  How you guys are…you know, human, and not just hockey players.”

Mitch smiled.  “I think it’s gonna be a great article, then.”

“How’d William know?” Auston asked.  “How’d he know before any of us?”

William knew he had to think fast.  “I saw her writing it the other day when we went out to the gym,” he said.  He had approached her on the sidelines that day for a brief minute or two, during a break in his workout, so if anyone was paying attention and saw them, it was an entirely plausible scenario.  “She told me what she was writing.”

“Why didn’t you tell any of us?” Auston asked him.

“Because it was Aberdeen’s news to tell, not mine,” William said.

Auston looked towards Aberdeen.  “You’re not writing, like, gossip about us, are you?” he asked.

“Auston, what the fuck—” William began.

“Buddy—” Mitch intervened.

“Hey now—” John piped up.

“No no, it’s fine,” she waved the boys off, staring directly at Auston.  She knew exactly where Auston was coming from.  She knew he trusted her.  He admitted so during the phone call when his Covid-19 story became national news.  She knew she had to be one hundred percent honest with him if he was going to have no qualms or suspicions about this article.  “They want me to.  They want me to write about shenanigans.  The stereotypical stuff.  But I’m not.  I refuse to.  I wouldn’t…you guys know I wouldn’t do that to you.  And I mean…I—I haven’t told them yet that I refuse to pander to that shit, but they’ll know when they get my article.”

Auston’s entire demeanour softened at her words.  It was like his entire body relaxed.  He knew – he always knew – he just needed the affirmation.  But then he realized what that meant.  “But then what happens if you don’t get the job because you don’t give them what they want?” he asked.  

Aberdeen shrugged.  “Then I have keep looking for writing jobs at other magazines.”

Then and there, he realized what was on the line for Aberdeen.

***

As Aberdeen wallowed in her room, she was nervous.  As she showered before the game, she was nervous.  As she did her hair, she was nervous.  As she got dressed, she was nervous.  As she opened her door and walked out into the hallway, meeting some of the guys, she was nervous.  When she got off the bus and the team went one way while she, Brendan, and Kyle went another, she clutched at her iPad pro.  She looked at the boys one last time, catching Willy’s eye, before the disappeared down the hallway, where no doubt a photographer was waiting to get pictures of their outfits before they went into the locker room.

As she sat in the box with Brendan and Kyle, as always, she saw Brendan look her way.  “Don’t even think about asking me how it’s gonna go tonight,” she said before he could even open his mouth.  

He held his hands up in front of him.  “Excuuuuuuse me.”

“I’m so nervous.  I barely ate today,” she elaborated.

“Somebody get Aberdeen a Coca Cola,” he called out to no-one in particular.  “She’s gonna need the sugar and the caffeine or else she’ll crash by the third period.”

She couldn’t believe how light-hearted he was being.  She didn’t know if it was some type of coping mechanism or if it was because he was generally in a good mood.  “How can you be so…calm?  Such a jokester?”

Brendan shrugged.  “If I was doom and gloom all the time, I wouldn’t still be president.”

***

Aberdeen was on the verge of tears.  

Cam Atkinson had scored in the first period.  Vladislav Gavrikov scored in the second period.  Her heart was heavy.  Her stomach was in knots.  And now, the impossible: she was watching Jason Spezza fighting.  The last person who should be fighting.  A part of her understood what he was doing, somewhat – trying to fire up the guys – but the other part of her kept asking why the fuck does he have to do this?  Where the fuck are they?  Why aren’t they playing?  WHY AREN’T THEY PLAYING?!

“I can’t believe they’re fucking doing this to him,” she mumbled under her breath through gritted teeth as she watched Jason skate off the ice.  Her knuckles were white for how tightly her hands were in fists in front of her mask.  Her leg was bouncing uncontrollably.  She couldn’t believe what was happening.

“What was that?” Brendan asked, apparently hearing her, his own voice indiscernible but also just…void of any emotion.  

She glanced at him quickly before shaking her head.  “Nothing.”  She looked over at Kyle.  She couldn’t tell what he was feeling, either.  What was it with these men and being so stoic?  

She pressed the palms of her hands together and intertwined her fingers.  “God, if you love me…” she began, mumbling into her hands.  “If you love me, God, don’t let them go out like this.  Not.  Like.  This.”

***

Boone Jenner scored in the third period.  It was 3-0.  This was it.  

Aberdeen had to come to terms with the fact that they were leaving early.  She had to come to terms with the fact that the boys would lose, again.  They’d be out of the bubble.  She knew that was probably a silver lining, but these guys so desperately just wanted to play hockey and play hockey and win, and for them to crash out like this was just going to be the worst.  They’d never hear the end of it.  Bee McTavish told her about last year, about how they lost to the Boston Bruins in Game 7 and how hard it was on the boys, particularly Morgan, and how awful the media was to them, and Aberdeen didn’t want to think about what the media would say now.  She didn’t want to think about what they’d say about Fred.  About Mitch.  About Morgan.  About John.

About William.  

But just as Aberdeen came out of her thoughts, she noticed something weird on the ice.  It wasn’t the regular line out there.  Sheldon was doing something different.  It was…well, it seemed to be the nuclear option.  All the top goal scorers were on the ice.  William, Mitch, Zach, Auston, and John.  Hustling all over the ice.  Passing the puck.  Shooting at the net.

And then, with just less than four minutes left, William scored.

Aberdeen jumped out of her seat and screamed.  The boys celebrated briefly, but they knew more work needed to be done.  She looked over at Brendan, who wasn’t blinking as he looked down at the ice.  She looked at Kyle, who wasn’t blinking either.  

“Please God…please…” she whispered to herself.

Sheldon kept out the nuclear option.  They were young.  They could do it.  

John Tavares scored only forty seconds later.  

“Holy fucking shit,” Aberdeen stood up from her seat, saying her words loud enough for Brendan and Kyle to hear.  “Holy fucking shit.  Holy fucking shit.”  

She barely breathed a single breath for the next two and a half minutes.  She was standing with her hands over her mouth over her mask and her body was completely still as she watched every move on the ice like a hawk.

William, to Auston, to Zach, who scored to tie it at 3-3.

“HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!!!” she screamed as the boys really celebrated on the ice now.  She banged her fists on the counter in front of her as she watched Zach jump on top of William as all the boys on the ice huddled together excitedly.  She swore she heard some happy swears from Kyle, and she definitely heard some happy swears from the extra players who were sitting in the seats right below them where the seat covers ended.  She barely remembered the period ending.  

“They’re gonna fucking do it,” she said to no-one in particular.  “They’re gonna fucking do it.  They’re gonna make a comeback.”

Everything was a blur as Aberdeen sat back down into her seat.  The overtime period.  The lines.  The minutes.  She felt like she was in the twilight zone – some alternate universe where time stood still and nothing else mattered besides hockey.  Not even just hockey – nothing else mattered besides this game and what was happening right here, right now.  Seven minutes into overtime, Morgan drew a tripping penalty.  An enraged Nick Foligno was sent to the penalty box.  The puck dropped.  It was passed.  Marner to Tavares.  Tavares to Matthews.

Auston let it rip and scored.

“WHAT!!!!!  WHAT!!!!!” Aberdeen screamed louder than she ever had in her life as she jumped up from her seat like a rocket and threw the pen she was holding out into the stands.  She began pumping her fist in front of her and pointing out onto the ice.  “THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT, BABY!  THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT!” she shrieked, her jaw somewhere between her face and the floor but her smile taking up her entire face.  Then came the excited, can’t-believe-what-I-just-witnessed high pitched uncontrollable laughs.  She looked over to Brendan and Kyle.  They were stoic.  She liked to believe they already freaked out and she missed it.

“Down 3-0 in the third period!” she screamed at them.  “Down 3-0 in the third period!  Can you believe it?!”

“What are you doing waiting up here?  Go down there,” Brendan said, nodding his head towards the exit.  

Aberdeen bolted out of the box and rushed towards the locker room as quickly as her feet could take her.  Once she got there, she saw the boys filing in, screaming ‘Woooo!’s and ‘Let’s fucking go, baby!’s.  William entered the locker room first.  He noticed her standing in the room almost immediately and rushed over to her.

She held her breath.  

He picked her up and spun her around, causing her to squeal until he set her down.  He was wet and sweaty and she could see the droplets of sweat dripping down his face but God if he didn’t look incredible and like the perfect human specimen.  “Let’s gooooo!” he screamed once he set her down.

“Let’s gooooo!” she repeated, noticing more of the boys make their way in.  Clifford.  Spezza.  Kerfoot.  Barrie.  Kasperi.  Hyman.  Engvall.  Rielly.  Tavares.  Holl.  Dermott.  Everybody.  Everybody.  They all came in screaming and did the exact same thing that William did, lifting her up and spinning her around excitedly as they continued to scream and go their stalls and start stripping in front of her.  They probably weren’t allowed to do that – they definitely weren’t allowed to do that, be that close together – but it didn’t matter right now.  Nobody cared.

“You guys gave me a fucking heart attack!” she yelled at them, clutching her heart as she looked around the room at all of them.  She saw a couple of them giggling as they undid their hockey tape and threw it into the garbage.

“Wouldn’t have been a Leafs series without one!” Morgan joked.

Sheldon walked into the room and high-fived Aberdeen.  Then Auston walked in and the boys started screaming and yelling all over again.  “Let’s fucking goooo, Aberdeen!” he screamed as he picked her up too, one last twirl, before setting her down.  “Let’s fucking go, baby!” he screamed to everyone in the room.

It was at that point that Brendan and Kyle walked into the room.  Aberdeen composed herself as much as possible as she faded into the background, watching Sheldon give his post-game speech.  Everybody looked so happy.  So excited.

They could fucking do this.

***

Aberdeen was typing like a furious mad woman in the Notes on her phone.  She wanted to write – needed to write all the authentic feelings that were in the air right now as she waited on the bus for everyone.  She needed to remember this moment.  Every single detail of it.  What was said.  What was heard.  The smiles.  The spins.  How she was still dizzy.  

“Hey Aberdeen!  You made it on to TV!” Mitch yelled from the middle of the bus.

Everyone’s head popped up, and she watched as all the guys already on the bus took off their headphones.  “What?!” she shrieked.

“They caught you celebrating in the box!” he said, turning his phone and showing her the video.

Aberdeen heard all of the boys get up out of their seats and crowd behind her to watch the video.  She noticed the Sportsnet logo on the bottom of screen first and foremost, then listened as she heard the announcers describing the scene, which they replayed in slow fucking motion.  “I think that young lady is indicative of most of Leafs Nation right now!” she heard Jim Hughson’s voice as the video showed her jumping up from her seat and throwing her pen.  The boys behind her were howling as they watched, and when she began pumping her fist in front of her, they laughed some more.  Slightly embarrassed, Aberdeen buried her head in her hands and shook her head.  “It’s always me!  Why is it always me that gets caught doing these things?!”

“The camera loves you, Aberdeen!” Mitch giggled.  

“It happens to all the wives and girlfriends at some point,” Morgan said as most of the guys went back to their seats on the bus.  

“But I’m not a wife.  Or a girlfriend!”

She could tell Morgan was smiling behind his mask.  “Not yet,” he mumbled to himself, shrugging.

Aberdeen turned red.  She sat back down in her seat and continued typing away on her phone furiously, making sure nobody saw her skin hue.

***

It was only when everybody got back to the hotel when Aberdeen had to stop typing, but by then, she was sure she’d gotten every feeling.  Everybody was still buzzed as they rode two at a time in the elevator up to their floor, and she could still feel the energy even when she was bottled up in her room – like everybody else – and it was eerily silent after just having been so loud.

She had just finished changing into her pajamas when she heard her phone buzz.  She knew it was William texting, so she grabbed her phone immediately, ready for his request to FaceTime.

open ur door really slowly so it doesn’t make any noise

Her eyes bulged out of her head.  She set her phone down and rushed over to her door, not bothering to look out the peephole, but doing exactly what she was told.  She opened it slowly, carefully, making sure not to make a peep.  She looked out into the hallway, down to the other wing, and saw William’s head popping out of his own room.  He rushed out, closing the door quietly before rushing over to her wing.

“William,” she whispered.  Her heart was beating out of her chest.  He was not allowed to do this.  He was not allowed to do this.  She watched as he made his way over.  “William what are you—”

She was silenced by his slipping past her and into her room, putting his hand over hers to shut the door slowly so it didn’t make a clicking sound.  When it was closed, she tried one more time.  “Willy—”

Her attempt was futile.  He crashed his lips against hers, wrapping his arms around her as he squeezed her against his body, so much so that he could lift her up in his arms and she could wrap her legs around his torso.  He stuck his tongue down her throat.  She moaned out at the sensation before realizing that he was walking them into her bathroom – her bathroom that faced the open area in front of the elevators, and not facing or sharing a wall with her room neighbour.  He kicked the door closed with his foot before setting her down on the marble vanity sink, her legs still wrapped around his body keeping him close.

“Take this off,” he mumbled as he tugged violently at her pajama shirt, almost ripping it as she shoved her off her body and threw it across the bathroom.  She pulled on his t-shirt too, throwing it in the same direction as they crashed their lips against each other’s again.  

“We’re not supposed to be doing this,” she whispered out after he bit down on her bottom lip and pulled it away from her.  “You’re not supposed to be in my room.  We’re breaking the rules.”

“Isn’t that half the fun?” he quipped, a small smirk on his face.  Aberdeen could feel her body get hot – hotter than it already was.  This was so wrong.  So wrong.  He wasn’t supposed to be in her room.  They weren’t supposed to be touching.  They weren’t supposed to be kissing.  They weren’t supposed to be doing any of it, yet here Aberdeen was, her body heating up and her core getting even hotter.  She scratched her nails down William’s broad and toned chest as he kissed a trail down her neck and to her breasts, sucking and biting down at her nipples gently, causing her to gasp out.

He immediately put his hand over her mouth.  Her eyes went wide.  He looked up at her from where he was at her breasts.  “You can’t be too loud or else we’ll get caught.”

Oh my fucking God.  Now she really felt her body light up like a fire.  She whimpered slightly.  “But Willy—” she tried to mumble against his hand.

“Shhhh…” he cooed.  “Can you be quiet, Aberdeen?  Can you be quiet while I fuck you?”  He was waiting for an answer.  She felt a shiver run up her spine.  She nodded her head.  “That’s my girl.”

William continued paying attention to her breasts before kissing his way back up to her lips and sticking his tongue down her throat again.  Aberdeen ran her fingers through his hair and tugged on it slightly before scratching down his back and pulling down his trackpants and underwear.  He did the same to her, letting his fingers play with the wet folds of her pussy until he heard whimpers from her again.  “Quiiiiiet, Aberdeen,” he cooed once more, bringing his hand that was just playing with her pussy up to her lips.  

She grabbed his hand in both her hands and sucked his fingers into her mouth.  “I’m not going to be able to,” she whispered, shaking her head.  

William pulled her off the marble vanity, grabbing her hips and spinning her around so her back was against his chest.  They were able to see each other through the mirror.  Aberdeen watched as William’s hand snaked around her body and down to her hot core again.  “You’re going to have to be quiet or we’ll get caught,” he whispered huskily in her ear as he played with her core again.  Her legs were shaking at the feeling.  She gripped on to the vanity.  

“Fuck me raw, Willy,” she begged.  She had her own tricks up her sleeve.  If William was going to play this game, she was going to play hers.  She watched his reaction in the mirror and could see his pupils dilate.  “I started birth control.  It’s okay.”

“You what?”

“I started birth control a month ago.  It was supposed to be a surprise but—”

“—Aberdeen—”

“—Please Willy,” she begged, her voice breathless.  She could feel his hard cock against her body and was so desperate for it, she didn’t care how wrong this was.  “Fuck me raw.  Fuck.  Me.  Raw.”

He bent her over the vanity.  She stuck her ass out and kept her eyes on him through the mirror, watching as he positioned himself at her entrance, sliding into her easily.  She cried out at the sensation, feeling his hand almost automatically cover her mouth to silence her.  When he began moving in and out of her, the sound of their flesh smacking together, she didn’t know if she should close her eyes to revel in the feeling of his slick, hard cock filling her up, or if she should keep her eyes open to watch him fucking her hard and fast through the mirror.  She chose the latter.  She and William had had many sexual escapades before (sexcapades, if you will), but nothing had been as hot or as raw or as dangerous as this was.  The exhilaration of doing a completely banned act – banned since they figured out they were working together, even more so banned now – was giving her the ultimate rush.  

His hand was still over her mouth as she arched her back and William pulled her back against his chest.  She could feel herself getting close, and when William’s other hand snaked around once more to play with her clit, she tried to cry out but couldn’t.  “Are you gonna be quiet when I make you cum?”

She shook her head.  “I won’t.  I can’t.”

He thrusted into her harder, trying to make a point.  She whimpered again and his hand somehow tightened around her mouth.  “Are you gonna be quiet?” he asked again.  She looked at him through the mirror, seeing the absolute fire in his eyes.  She knew what he was looking for.  She knew he would tease her and tease her and tease her until she agreed to what he was asking.  She nodded slowly.  He smiled.  “Good.”

He quickened his pace, harder and faster and rougher than before, and Aberdeen continued to watch them fucking through the mirror until she could feel closer and closer to her sweet release.  Eventually, her legs began to shake, and she could feel an intense orgasm rush through every single inch of her body.  She tried to stay as quiet as possible, but the feeling was too much, and her whimpers escaped her, though they were much quieter than the usual vocal performances she usually gave when she and William had sex, and though William still had his hand over her mouth.  At the sound of her stifled whimpers she could feel William’s hot cum spill inside her.  The feeling was hot and raw and simultaneously everything she imagined it would be and feel like but also completely new and unlike anything she could have ever expected.  His own small grunts escaped his mouth as he felt himself empty inside of her, revelling in the feeling of filling her completely.  He eventually let go of her mouth, and her body bent over against the marble vanity again, unable to stand up straight due to the long, intense orgasm.  He tried to catch his breath as he continued to watch her body shake, the last of her orgasm rushing through her.  He could see her chest rising and falling from her trying to catch her breath.

It was a few minutes before Aberdeen and William could regain their breaths.  He slipped out of her slowly, and she whimpered again at the loss of him, still bent over the vanity, though she could still feel a slickness between her thighs.  She felt his body bend too, his chest on her back, and felt him kiss her shoulders delicately.  She craned her neck to get a look at him.  “I better get a writing job soon.  I don’t think we’re gonna be able to hold it back for much longer,” she whispered.

William giggled – a low, rumbly giggle from his chest as he smiled and continued placing kisses on her shoulder.  “I agree,” he whispered back.  “We gotta make sure you get that Toronto Life job.”

She bit her lip.  “Did it feel good for you?”

He nodded.  “Of course.  What about for you?  Did it feel different?”

“It felt fucking amazing,” she nodded.  “It…it did feel different.  I…you’re the first one I’ve ever let fuck me raw,” she admitted.

William nodded in understanding.  He knew what she was really saying – that this was, at least physically, the ultimate form of trust, and he was the only one in her life, ever, who she trusted that much.  “We can keep doing whatever you’re more comfortable with,” he said.

“I liked this.  I don’t know if I’ll be able to go back,” she giggled slightly.  

William smiled.  He pulled her back upright and, at that point, she could stand on her own again.  She spun around so she was facing him and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him down to kiss him.  They stood in her bathroom kissing for a while until William pulled away slightly.  “I love you so much,” he mumbled.

“I love you too.”

“Sorry I made you break the rules…yet again,” he smiled mischievously.  

Aberdeen winked.  “Isn’t that half the fun?”