#except the fact that he is perfectly enough and the world is just cruel to people like him

[crow-talks-hockey]

-Margery Williams, The Velveteen Rabbit

[screamin-abt-haikyuu]

You're jealous but you can't do anything because you're not dating him (Part 7) - Wakatoshi Ushijima

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Pairing: Ushijima x Fem! reader

Genre: Angst to fluff

Warnings: none, really? Reader calls him Toshi.

Requested by: @ushisrever

A/N: Can't believe I posted the last update to this more than two years ago. Has it really been that long???? The incomplete series has been bothering me for two years now lmao. Didn't think I'd ever find a fitting scenario for Ushiwaka but thanks to @dira333 helping me sound off some ideas, I was able to get that perfect "snap!" you get when you fit a puzzle piece in perfectly. Gave me enough brain juice to write this out before going back into hibernation.

Serving you some fresh, hot angst and then some lol. Enjoy the burn and then the healing. For someone who was as far removed from Ushiwaka (emotionally) as one can, writing this actually made me see him in a new light. Loved writing him. Hopefully, it stays as true to his canon nature as it can. Hopefully I don't trash this before it's out💀 but if you're reading this, it's good lol.

It feels like the entire Shiratorizawa is at the gates of the school.

"I can't believe she's coming to our school!"

"AAA I can't stop imagining how she'll look in our school uniform."

"Do you think she already has a boyfriend? Maybe I have a chance?"

"I don't know about a boyfriend but you certainly don't have a chance with her."

"Must you always be so cruel?!"

"If you think a star child actor who has made it so big in the industry is going to date a simpleton like you, you're delusional."

You sigh, annoyed, as you try to make your way through the babbling crowd. You're already late for your morning classes and you couldn't care any less about Hoshiko Nakamura. Or any celebrity for that matter.

"In fact, I don't think any boy in this school has a chance with her. Hmm... except maybe Ushiwaka? Not that he'd be interested in dating her anyway. Sometimes I feel like that guy doesn't have any emotions at all."

Your ears perk up at the Ace's name.

Wakatoshi Ushijima has become somewhat of a celebrity at school ever since he was selected for the under 19 representative for Japan in the Youth World Championship.

He was already well known as the formidable volleyball player who crushes any team that he takes on. However, his serious and stoic nature has kept most people from approaching him. Till now, at least.

The girl was right. Wakatoshi wouldn't even think about dating anyone. You seem fairly sure of that. However, the suggestion still leaves a bad taste in your mouth.

You're wrong about him not having any emotions you think as you finally break free from the crowd and sprint towards your classroom.

You've known Wakatoshi for as long as you can remember. You remember when his family moved into the house next to yours when you were just little kids. You remember watching the reserved, determined figure of the boy practicing volleyball all by himself in the nearby park. You remember going up to him and offering to play with him. Out of all these memories, the most vivid of them all was the way his eyes subtly lit up when you said you wanted to play with him.

Time has blurred into a haze since then. Even though you both went to different schools all through junior and middle school years, you both kept alive the tradition of playing volleyball together in park.

"You should come to Shiratorizawa," he had said that fateful day. You both were in the last year of middle school. It was a beautiful evening as you both walked back home from the park, the setting sun throwing hues of red and gold across the partially cloudy sky.

"That's not in my hands. I tried in middle school, remember? I want Shiratorizawa but Shiratorizawa doesn't seem to want me," you said, kicking a pebble on the road. Funny how I could say the same about you.

"That was three years ago. You have grown," he said without pause.

"We'll see. I don't want to get my hopes too high. You know just as well as I do that they give preference to athletes over normal students like me. Casual volleyball games with you are just about as sporty as I get," you said as you reached out to open the gate to your home.

You turned to say goodbye to him and found him looking at you, his expression more serious than usual.

"It's not about athleticism."

"Shiratorizawa only accepts the best. Be it volleyball or anything else. I believe you fit into that category. You should come," he says, looking straight into your eyes.

Your stomach flutters. How could he have so much faith in you? There is no doubt that he believes in you because Wakatoshi Ushijima always means what he says. Almost 5 years of knowing him had taught you that. You still found it hard to digest, though.

"I'll try my best, I promise."

"I know you will."

"Class, please give a warm welcome your new classmate, Hoshiko Nakamura!"

You can't help but gawk at her. Saying she is pretty would be a severe understatement. If she looks pretty on screen, it is nothing compared to what she looks like off screen. You look at your desk partner to see if he is thinking the same. Wakatoshi, however, seems to simply be listening to the teacher.

"Miss Nakamura, I'm sure you will have no problem settling in here. To kind of help you settle in this new environment, I was thinking of seating you next to Ushijima as I believe you two have met before at some of the national events."

The teacher might as well have thrown a bus at you and it would have felt just about the same as you do now.

Hoshiko's face lights up. "That would be great. Wakatoshi-kun has always been a delight to be with. Thank you for having me," she says and bows.

Did she just call him by his first name?

"Ah, Y/N, sorry for springing this on you so suddenly. I wanted to get a hold of you before morning class but couldn't. I hope it's not a problem," the teacher says.

You force a polite smile. "It's not a problem at all," you say and start packing your bag.

Hoshiko walks up to the desk and waits patiently for you to gather your stuff, thanking you again.

Your legs feel heavy as you take the empty seat diagonal to them in the adjacent row.

I'm panicking for no reason. They just know each other from an event. It makes sense to make her sit with a familiar and safe person, given her popularity. Yes, Wakatoshi is definitely the ideal choice in this scenario. He is not someone who would be creepy in any sense. He's also strong and intimidating so it would keep the creeps away. It's fine. It'll be fine. Nothing is going to happen between them... right?

"Wakatoshi-kun, I'm so glad I got to sit next to you," she says, smiling at him, speaking loud enough for people sitting nearby to hear.

"Actually, if I'm being honest, when I decided to come back to my hometown to complete my studies, I knew I wanted to go to Shiratorizawa immediately," she continues.

"Of course. Shiratorizawa is the best school in the prefecture. It's only natural to want to study here," Ushijima says, completely seriously.

Hoshiko blushes. "Ah... that is not what I meant... nevermind," she says, causing the guy behind them to burst into laughter.

It seems like the hollow sensation growing in your stomach is here to stay.

It has been two months since the day Hoshiko joined your school. With Ushijima going to school earlier than usual and practicing late into the night for the Inter High preliminaries, he hasn't been able to spend much time with you lately. Normally, this wouldn't have bothered you because you could see him in class everyday but with Hoshiko now taking your place, you barely get to say more than hi to him.

However, with the prelims now over and the upcoming week-long break ahead, you're hoping to get some one-on-one time with him once again. All these years with him have made him such an intrinsic part of your daily life that it feels like something big is missing when he's not around. To the world, Wakatoshi Ushijima might be a lot of things. But to you, Wakatoshi Ushijima is home. He is comfort. He is strength. He is someone that you know like the back of your own hand. He is someone that your heart always keeps coming back to. He is the only love you have ever known.

You know that he doesn't share the same feelings for you. But that doesn't stop your heart from longing for him.

The lessons for the day are over and you walk back to your class, eager to pack your bag and go home with Ushijima. You wonder if he'll want to go to the park in the evening.

"She's asking him out! She's asking him out!"

"No WAY! I am SO jealous."

A small crowd has gathered around the window and they're whispering amongst themselves as they look outside.

"Man, that Ushiwaka is so lucky! He gets to date the most beautiful girl in the entire country."

"I mean… he is in the nation's top 3 aces and an under 19 representative of Japan. Not to mention he's tall and strong and good looking. They're actually perfect for each other."

Your heart drops down to your feet.

You look out the window and find yourself looking at Hoshiko and Ushijima standing a ways away from the school building. They're in a quiet, secluded spot and Hoshiko seems to be blushing as she says something to him. You see him nod and say something in return. Hoshiko's face lights up in pure delight and even though they are at a distance, you can hear the joy in her voice.

"No way!!!! He said yes?? I thought he wasn't interested in girls!"

"Goddamn it! There goes my chance!"

You feel dizzy as you watch the two of them walk back to school together.

No. This can't be. You have always known that he doesn't like you that way. But you thought he wasn't interested in dating at all.

No. You shouldn't make any assumptions just yet. These gossip mongers are messing with your head. For all you know, he could have said yes to being in a show or something. You shouldn't despair before you hear the truth from him.

You blink back your tears and run to your class. Thankfully, it's empty. You take a few deep breaths to calm yourself and wait. Both of them soon appear in the hallway. The crowd surrounds them instantly, wanting to drown them in questions but Ushijima breaks away from them easily and walks towards the class. He comes up to you.

"Y/N. I'm sorry I won't be able to come to the park today."

It's true.

"Hoshiko and I are going to watch this new movie playing at the theatre-"

He's going on a date with her.

"Apparently it has a lot of volleyball in it-"

He's going on a date with h-

"You should join us."

Huh?

"What?"

"I figured you might like it since you play volleyball with me even though you don't play it otherwise."

What? What? What?? What is happening right now??

Ushijima patiently waits for your answer.

"Uh... Whose idea was it to go to the movie?"

"Nakamura's. Why?"

"And how did she bring up the idea?"

"Well, I was returning from the club and she asked to speak to me in private. And then she told me about the movie and if I wanted to watch it with her."

He didn't get it.

"Ah... Toshi... I'm pretty sure she was asking you out on a date."

His eyes widen with surprise.

"A... date? But she never said she had romantic feelings for me."

Could this mean...? Can I hope...?

"Well, her asking you out on the date was her way of saying it."

"I see. I didn't realise. Thank you for telling me. In that case, I should tell her my feelings for her as well."

He has feelings for her.

Your heart shatters.

You're glad that he walks out right away because you couldn't have stopped your tears from coming out even if you wanted to. You run out of the back door, desperate to get far away.

I guess I was the problem all this time. I just wasn't someone you could look at that way.

You had always known that. You had always known that he didn't feel for you the way you did. But that hadn't stopped you from falling for him. Hard. How could you have not? Eight years of knowing him... You didn't even realise when you fell for him. Loving him just came so naturally to you.

Logically, it makes sense. They make sense. She is beautiful and tall and smart. And so is he. They are the type of couple who would be featured on the cover of a magazine. Which, given their career trajectories, is bound to happen sooner or later.

But the heart doesn't care for logic and at this moment you feel like it will actually burst from the amount of pain you're feeling.

You spend the rest of the evening and the entire night crying in your room.

Morning comes and you feel worse than ever. Your head is throbbing, your nose is stuffy and your eyes are swollen. You decide to skip school. It's the last day before break anyway. Maybe this break will be good for you. It will give you some time to adjust to everything and compose yourself.

You go back to bed and sleep through the entire day.

You thought you'd feel better after getting some rest but you still feel like shit.

You drag yourself out of bed. Your entire body feels like it weighs ten times more.

Maybe a shower and some fresh air will do you good.

You head out.

No matter how much you try to think of something else, your mind keeps coming back to him. Your eyes keep searching for him. You look in the direction of his room. The curtains are open and you can see it is empty.

Of course he's not home yet. He's probably out with her again.

Even though it's barely a minute away, you feel exhausted by the time you reach the park. Thankfully, it is empty.

You sit on one of the swings and look around. Most of your memories with Ushijima are tied to this park. This is where you both have spent the majority of your last eight years together.

All the sweet memories make you tear up again.

"You didn't come to school today."

You were so lost in your head that you didn't realise when he walked up to you. You blink back your tears.

"Oh... hi. Yeah, I - I wasn't feeling very well today," you say, not meeting his eye.

"You seem upset."

He noticed.

"Oh... I'm fine. Really. It's just been a rough day. It's nothing to worry about," you say, still evading his gaze.

He sits on the swing next to you. You look to the side and see he has a volleyball in his lap.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

You quickly avert your gaze again.

"No."

"I see. Well, would you like me to distract you? Talk about something else?"

It is getting harder to keep your tears in check. You're sure your voice will crack if you speak. You just nod.

"You would've liked the movie. It wasn't as focused on volleyball as Nakamura said it would-"

Great. He's chosen the worst topic he could have talked about. You don't want to hear about his date. You need to change the topic. Quickly.

"What are you doing here?" you blurt out the one question that has been weighing on your mind ever since he came here.

"What do you mean? I came here to play volleyball with you."

"I- I mean... I thought you would spend your free time with Ho-Hoshiko from now."

"Why would I do that?"

"B- because you're d-dating her?" Your voice cracks.

"I am not dating Nakamura."

What?

"What do you mean you're not dating her? I thought you liked her. Didn't you go on a date with her yesterday?"

"I do like her. Just not romantically. And no, I went to watch the movie with Tendou. She had already bought the tickets so I bought them from her. I wanted to watch it with you but you went home. "

"But... you left to tell her your feelings for her..."

"I did. I wanted to clarify that I only feel for her as a friend. It was only thanks to you that I was able to tell her in time before I ended up hurting her unintentionally."

"I...see..."

Relief floods your heart. You suddenly feel a hundred pounds lighter. You finally gather the courage to look at him. He is looking right back at you.

"Can I ask you something?" you say, your lower lip trembling.

"Of course."

"Do you have romantic feelings for anyone?"

You instantly regret speaking up as soon as the question leaves your mouth. You know he never lies. And if he doesn't feel the same w-

"Yes. You."

You stare at him blankly.

It's subtle but his expression has changed from completely serious to something a little softer. You can't quite place what it is. Is it concern? nervousness? Adoration?

"R-really? You like me? Romantically?"

"Yes."

"Since when?"

"Ah," he rubs his chin, "I'm not sure..."

You're still having difficulty believing that any of this is real.

"You know," he continues, "After my father, you were the first person who ever wanted to play with me."

He points towards the corner of the park. "I was practicing against that wall that day when you came up to me. Do you remember?"

"Of course I remember. I can never forget that day."

"So many people have come and gone from my life but you have been with me for so long that, I guess somewhere along the way I just assumed you would stay forever. Which, I now realise, I shouldn't have."

He feels the same. He has always felt the same.

"Toshi?"

He turns to you again.

"I love you."

He breaks into a soft smile.

"I love you too."

Holyshit this was a ride. I'm glad I wrote this and I hope you guys enjoy.

Reblogs appreciated. Please do not steal or repost.

Taglist: @pinkiipeachiikeen @duckymcdoorknob @kakiwrites @ebiharachan @r0binscript I wasn't sure if you guys still want to be tagged for this series, seeing that it has been over two years so let me know if you want me to remove you from the taglist.

Check out THIS POST to know what all characters I have written for in this series.

MASTERLISTS | If you enjoy my work and want to, you can Buy me a Kofi!

[navigatebetweenthelines]

Because a lot of you seem to be conflating intelligence to mean a single thing im going ro spell it out for you

DAZAI!

quick on his feet. He reads body language pretty well. he knows what to expect. His disadvantage is that he tends to project his own expectations onto others and this clouds his judgement. He is "intelligent" in the way thar he has a great capacity to improvise in tricky situations. He doesn't know everything he just always makes sure to have a plan B C D E F and G. Thats it

RANPO!

he knows all the facts about any given situation. His biggest disadvantages are that his judgement is shoddy at best and he doesn't always know what to do with that information. He is used to disregarding information for the sake of peace but that often means he ends up too close to the wrong people. He forgives EVERYONE he gives everyone a second chance. For as much as he sees the bad in a person he sees the good. He is unreliable and inconsistent. The good this about him is that as soon as he realizes his mistake he never makes it again.

POE!

JUSTTT as smart as Ranpo. He can GATHER as much information as Ranpo but it takes more effort. He has a lot of resources and technical know how. He knows technology, he knows politics, international law and most importantly people. His biggest advantage is that he knows exactly how to pressure people into doing what he wants. His mysteries are tailor made so that people can only escape when they realize what he wants them to. It is becuase of this that he saw society as a farce. That's why Ranpo and him are such a good team. Ranpo can see everything and Poe knows what to do with it.

Louisa!!!

She can slow down time when she's focused THAT'S her ability. She is capable of thinking of every possibility and coming up with dependable statistics. She's smarter than Dazai but less of an asset because her analysis relies on what she is aware of. In the world of BSD there is ALWAYS something no one is aware of. She isn't as capable of recovering quickly from a miscalculation so she really only has one shot.

Chuuya!!!

He doesnt need to use his intelligence most of the time because he can pretty much brute force his way out of most things. His intellegence relies on instinct. He has GREAT instincts. He knows when a situation has gone sour. Of course he doesnt usually verbalize it because with Dazai he doesn't need to and when he's alone why would he announce it to an enemy. He knows when he's safe and when he isn't. His biggest disadvantage is that he doesn't always listen to those instincts. In terms of priorities he almost always puts himself last and that leads to a lot of problems.

NIKOLAI!!!

Nikolai is similar to Chuuya except a bit more extreme because no one's life is his priority. His motivations are unclear and he always goes for the most imoral option. He isn't concerned with a specific desired outcome it is the inconsistency of his own actions that drive him.

FYODOR!!!

Kinda like Poe, in that he knows how to work people, but to a lesser extent and a little like the chameleon that Dazai can be but to a greater extent: he KNOWS people. He knows what a person wants more than anything and he promises that to them.

His biggest advantage is that he is smart enough to ally himself with people who have nothing else to live for. Sigma, Nikolai, Bram (before Aya), Nathaniel and Fukuchi are all outsiders. They are alone but desperately want to feel like they belong. Fyodors biggest disadvantage is that if those people find belonging elsewhere his influence on them shatters. He seems to be aware of that? Idk it's too soon to tell.

Mori!!!

He isn't crazy smart. He's just sadistic and cruel. He picks easy targets (children) and slowly takes away their agency. He undoes them until they have nothing to live for and they then become perfectly obedient adults. His biggest disadvantage is that he relies on the chain of abuse and that isn't sustainable as a dynamic for power. Chuuya and Akutagawa have no one above them to preassure them to listen to orders now that Dazai is gone. Also the extreme amounts of abuse he relies on is impossible to ditch out to EVERYONE. That's why he relied on the chain of abuse but that's failing. Mori isn't smart. He's a coward. He takes the shortest path no matter the resistance.

FUKUCHI!!

isn't smart either. He is just THE BEST chameleon. He hid in plain sight. He knows war and war tactics. He's a great spy and facilitating a strong bond with the target is a spy strategy.

They are not all the same stop conflating their perspectives as "knows everything". It leads to a lot of misunderstandings and a lot of misinformation. DAZAI IS NOT RANPO! He doesnt know everything. He's just really good at pretending he does.

[somedayslater]

i didnt read the last chapters since i discovered it was the end (but i was spoiled by tumblr lol)... i didnt want to believe it... i want to still look forward to new chapters of No Home :(

For the last few years eunyung and haejoon have been my companions. I healed a little while following the story of eunyung, feeling like its ok to be angry and wanting revenge on your family and the society that continues to want to keep you in a "house" where you are mistreated. How the world isnt made for children at all, the absolute unfairness of it all. That you can choose to keep going, and if you do so its ok to keep your distance with what hurts you.

I healed too with haejoon, who came to terms with the fact that he will always be overcome with sadness and grief from time to time, and when that happens he can only let himself feel and wait for it to pass, and try to look forward to the next day.

Honestly this manwha was the best ever. I couldnt read this manhwa as a form of escapism because it was too real. It pulled strings in my heart i didnt know i had, made me question a lot of things about myself, about others, about my relationship with others. It made me have painful discussion with a few people. Following this manhwa, most of the time, was really unpleasant lol. I hated then loved eunyoung, I liked and then disliked haejoon (yeah sorry haejoon, i think you can be really cruel and stupid and i wanted to strangle you a few times in the last arcs (i would NOT be friend with that guy lol) -thats why this character is so amazing). But i felt so much while reading it i wouldnt trade it for anything. It was funny, it was dumb, it was deep, it was enraging and healing, but most of all it was sincere. The most sincere depiction of what being a person in a deeply flawed society is, and how there's happiness even while surviving.

It was so frustrating to see the manhwa go in a direction i didnt want it to go ! I wanted it to become my cozy refuge, where every problems are magically solved, where haejoon and eunyung ends up understanding and loving each other in a cliché way, where theres a new home with my *fave charas* and its a series of feel-good interactions. Instead the problems kept pilling up, most of them didnt have a satisfactory conclusion, eunyung and haejoon kept hurting each other and distancing themselves. Haejoon just cut contact with his father without knowing what were his nefarious motives or without this guy facing any consequences, we dont know if eunyung's parents will keep bothering eunyung unchecked, we dont know if they're going to be happy and rich, or if, realistically, as orphans without generational wealth and deep traumas, they're going to end up in a shitty life situation.

And i couldnt thank wanan enough for this. They didnt take the easy way, the feel-good way, the way that would have given them a probably bigger fandom so a bigger source of money. I'm amazed by how they managed to hold this whole story so perfectly. Not a single misstep. Everything they draw was where it should have been, every action from the characters were understandable (and frustrating lol), the fucking subtlety of the developing relationships, no deus ex machina and no miserabilism. I didnt always agree with wanan's ethic or what i perceived of it (i think stealing or being violent is ok depending on the context, i dont think working hard to earn money is a virtue) but i respect how they choose to present it. I didnt talk about the other characters because honestly they didnt move me as much (except marie), but i love them so much too. I felt sad that eunyung and haejoon didnt become best friend 5ever (or even lovers hehe) but honestly, understandable lol. If i was one of them i WOULDNT become close with the other at all, so its kinda amazing they could still find this level of mutual understanding.

In short, wanan is an amazing story teller.

And an amazing image-composist (have no idea how to say this in english). The artstyle doesnt look like much, but this gave wanan a wide graphic range to convey emotions that wouldnt have been possible with a more sophisticated style i think -how will i forget the red swirlings mixing with eunyung skin ? The expressions, the choice of colors, the choice in showing something in particular without giving a clear explanation on why (often haejoon's surprised or contemplative face, which made me re-read chapters a few times to try to understand what was happening in his big head). It didnt feel like wanan thought their readers were stupid, nor did they play the fake-deep style. It was perfectly balanced.

And so even if i didnt read it, i have no doubt the end will be the same. Im so sad they decided to end this manhwa, but i know prolonging it would have been greedy and that ultimately, the manhwa would have suffer for it. Some authors do that : they have a popular series going on, and for whatever reason they keep writing new chapters without a clear goal and so the story becomes diluted, messy, useless. I love when they do this, because i can say goodbye to a story progressively as my interest in it wans, without feeling sadness or loss. But it makes me not think of the story at all in the future, since everything that was good about it became buried in new shitty chapters. Because wanan didnt do that, i know that i would think of no home for a long while, maybe forever,

,like i really lost companions when no home ended actually. Because it really, really hurts, knowing i wont be seeing new faces of the no home characters anymore. I know it sounds probably stupid ; i feel genuine grief here lol. I want to know what will happen to them, if they are alright, if they found a place in the world... if there is something to look forward after all, and i really dread not having answers every monday anymore. and the fandom is so small i cant comfort myself by re-entering the no home world every week or whatever... does anyone else feel this way ToT ? maybe i should participate myself but well,, i wouldnt know where to begin...

And saying that ! I'm almost never on this blog, i dont really have socmed accounts, i dont participate in fandoms at all. But I spent a looot of time reading and watching people who does -without being connected or interacting with posts or fanfics at all. AND i really want to thank you all for giving me so much material to chew, posts that made me think, fics that made me smile, drawings that inspired me, witnessing interactions that made me laugh. I was and i probably will continue to be a ghost on socmed, but i really want you to know that you had an impact on me and i was looking forward to your new posts (and will continue to!).

the "every no home chapter is a test of my willingness to Not blow my own brains out" and explosion eunhae monday of @skiptoyuri

the regular nohome posters which makes me happy to check tumblr regularly @shimamitsulover @lesbianpegbar @luckyswamps @tomoyoo @cloudbends @t0a2ter @solcarow @dragon-of-timeless-blue

the awesome artists who keep producing bangers nohome art @gohaejoon @maxsolosur @jjd5426 @bnnuycafe @ct-bunny @lentl-soup @fartaycat @jjd5426 @prokkoli @moxymaxing @ginangtan

the nohome posters that i enjoyed running into @pleuvoire @homolobotomized @podoro-vines @fmet @welpuu @revertrate @obstinaterixatrix @kulluto

the artists that made me interested in checking no home @cienfll @craysmo @ant-eaters @idledee @fruiitlins @froqpi-art @201918b @tinfishmeal @ohrsoh @30mingirlfriend

thanks @ditherslam for the awesome fanfics, obviously i read them all and they're some of my favourites. youre an amazing writer and i cant wait for the next chap of "your atoms"!!

thanks @homeless202 for being an insatiable nohome poster for a while (and @grannykombucha !)

im forgetting a lot of others but i really wanted to thank you all for your time, energy, work. i never interacted with your posts or with you but i really want to convey how cool it is that you all contribute to make no home a more well-known manhwa and the fandom alive

thank youuuu (hope the @ are ok tell me if its bothersome ill delete it)

and really, really, thank you wanan ! waaaa i want to cry

[gabbaghoulfromstloui]

Wolfenstein is truly dystopian, yet beautiful.

I'll say beforehand, that I haven't gotten far in it. (I'm bad at most games) but the idea of a Jewish man who is the physical epitome of a "purebred Aryan" fighting against a Nazi regime that on every level despises his very existence. Is just beautiful, it shows the shallowness and baselessness in the Nazi ideology so perfectly.

On another note, it also portrays the depravity in such a world. I only finished the first three missions in "Wolfenstein The New Order" (2014). The way the weapons are made looks entirely industrial rather than something made by man. It's nothing but metal welded by other metal. No soul or anything in them. Hell, one could look at the armor the Nazis wear, and they're made to look robotic. unless it's a high-ranked officer they look and act as human as their dogs.

Just from that alone, it's easy to see Nazis not as this place of utopia but a dystopic regime that will cull the "other" until they must cull themselves. After all, in such a regime based on racial purity, they will have to exterminate first those who are visibly a different race. Once that's done, they will go after those who tested and found to not be "Aryan". But what will they do with no one left to oppress? well, it certainly won't be a utopia but auto cannibalism. Perhaps these "others" are hiding amongst the regime, and they must root them out.

Going back to the main character, I remember that he wakes up in a mental hospital. It doesn't take much to realize why the Nazis would want it to be shut down, after all, they're "Inferior". Yet the existence of a place filled with empathy towards fellow man still manages to persist. One could almost compare it to a flower sitting on the side of an erupting volcano.

This volcano of course is the Nazis, unlike actual volcanos they have the intention of destruction. They execute the mentally challenged and disabled like stomping on a newborn bird. except, of course, they find pleasure in destroying such a "plague". These little moments of humanity in such a cruel world in my eyes highlight hope, the fact that it exists in a dark cloud of fire is reason enough to have faith in humanity.

A lot can be said about Wolfenstein, but this is enough. After all, I can only write so much before it becomes mindless ramblings.

[marinsawakening]

Thinking about the Orpheus and Eurydice myth and specifically a lot of modern interpretations of it. Because the thing that everyone always focuses on is Orpheus' grief, and that's understandable: it is a story about grief, and it is is grief, above all else, that transcends time, that we as a modern audience can still relate to. Who has lost a loved one and hasn't wanted to go down to the underworld to drag them up? We get it.

But it isn't just a story of love or grief; it's a story of necromancy. It is a story of looking at the laws of the world and deciding they shouldn't apply to you because they hurt to much. It is a story about defying the gods.

And a lot of modern audiences are inherently sympathetic to this, if only because every other jrpg ends with you fistfighting a god or two. Gonna take a gamble and say this read differently for ancient audiences, but I'm no classicist and feel like comparison between modern and ancient audience readings of the myth is wildly outside of my purview. I'm talking about it because I feel like this is an aspect that gets overlooked in the modern retellings and interpretations of the myth.

Because imagine you are Hades, in charge of the Underworld, a vital if extremely gloomy part of this world. Hundreds of thousands of souls stream in every day, most ordinary as they come, most mourned deeply by someone or another. Then this boy comes to you begging for his beloved. And who hasn't begged for their beloved? Sure, they don't usually come to your door, but it's not as if you haven't heard them. Most everyone down here is mourned, or was at some point. This boy is not special, except for the fact that he can sing well enough to capture your wife's attention. And it touches your heart too, if you're honest. So you'll grant his wish, on one condition: he doesn't look back.

Why do you set that condition? Is it a cruel trap? An uncaring god tricking a poor mortal, helpless against his own love? Maybe.

Or maybe it's a god asking as a mortal: do you respect me? You have come down here to plead your case, and plead it well you have, but you are asking to break the laws of the world, to bring the dead to life. If I let you do it, will you do it again? Will you tell everyone else you did it, will I have other beggars at my door, each with stories just as bad or worse than yours? Do you understand why the world can't function that way, why these laws exist, why I exist? Do you respect me?

You are asking me to break the laws of the world: do you respect them even so? Can you adhere to them when asked to? Or will you always break them, again and again, in the face of your own pain?

And Orpheus would. He would break them again and again. He does not understand them, or worse, he believes they do not apply to him because he is special.

That's why he looks back. The laws of the universe are nothing in the face of his pain. It's also why he goes back after he fails and tries to persuade Hades all over again; it's why he keeps roaming the world in mourning until he's ripped apart and dies, reuniting with Eurydice in the Underworld, finally happy (in Ovid, at least, that's where I read the myth, dunno if it appears in other ancient sources or how it's played there). In my opinion, the tragedy of Orpheus wasn't his grief or his loss; it was that he could not live with them.

I'm not here to argue for One True Interpretation of the myth, I'm perfectly aware that's not how these things work and I don't want them to work like that. I just think it's worth taking into consideration that Orpheus' quest wasn't just about grief; it was about hubris too.

[chidoroki]

182 Days of TPN - Day 170

Chapter 170: "Together"

Years ago I had wondered if Isabella's conversation with Peter happened before or after she rallied up the rest of the moms & sisters, but I suppose this flashback within a flashback kinda confirms she spoke to the ladies after she received news that Emma & the other children were on their way to GF. Half of me still believes that it was a bit risky waiting so long to inform everyone else of her plan just in case she couldn't gather up all the support she needed in time, but the other half of me also understands that there always could've been the possibility of the ladies turning on her or not being able to keep the secret well enough around Peter. Of course we know now from ch181.7 that Isabella had already recruited Matilda, Jessica, Sienna & Scarlet to assist her about a month after she was promoted to Grandma, but having everyone contribute to the betrayal is certainly more ideal.

Ya really can't blame the other ladies for being so hesitant. The idea of rebelling against the farm and the life you've been forced to live definitely seems like a sure fire way to get killed, however, as Isabella explains, that you can suffer the same fate just by doing your job, just as Sarah did.

I'm always up to receive flashbacks on characters, but this is one of those rare occasions that I would have to pass. Seeing how hard both Krone & Isabella struggled to survive the farm system are more than enough for me. These quick glimpses of everyone else's training hurt my little heart already. Aaahh, all the women in this series are so strong. Even though death scares the hell outta me, I doubt I'd live through this nightmare of fighting every day and living in fear.

When the training is so efficient that they learn how to lie perfectly to the children in order to keep up the orphanage but also how to lie to themselves (unknowingly) about how they could obtain a better life.

Kinda funny to me how I'll skip pages during some chapters and other times I'll go all in about almost every little thing. Well, now is one of those times I'm gonna ramble a lot, simply because Isabella is involved (as if that wasn't obvious enough whenever she showed up in the past). I absolutely love seeing how angry she is about this cruel world. This hatred of hers has surfaced the day she climbed the wall and saw the cliff surrounded the plantation with her own eyes after Leslie was shipped out and it has been simmering deep inside ever since, so now after waiting patiently for about twenty years, watching so many children be sacrificed to demons, she finally has the power and opportunity to act upon those strong feelings and contribute to changing the world for the better and I'm just so immensely happy that she's able to get this chance. She deserves to get some sort of revenge 110%.

Learning that the fear we saw her show towards Peter during this deal in ch165 was only an act is brilliant. Now, I'm sure Isabella did have moments where she did feel scared due to the uncertainty of what her new promotion would mean for her, but the fact those feelings practically vanished from her heart in such a short amount of time is amazing. This woman was "free" for two days from wearing any sort of mask and jumped right back into that chess-master mindset flawlessly. The list is endless but chalk that up as yet another reason why I love her.

I wouldn't let anyone rule over me either, but um.. I'd make an exception if it was you, ma'am.

I may be giving her too much credit, but I hope she's saying that regardless of what the other ladies decide, that Isabella is gonna provide her children some assistance no matter who stands in her way. If the betrayal really only included her and the four other women already on her side, I'm sure they could've pulled it off. And yes, I appreciate that she sorta mimicked Emma's words to Ray in ch33 despite never hearing the conversation for herself.

Ohh, how this woman must be feeling after hearing her precious children still call her their mom after everything she put them through.. has to so bittersweet, mixed with relief and regret.

The combination of his exaggerated expression and panic next to her calm and complacent reply absolutely sends me.

What I wouldn't give for her to have a moment with her children like that. I mean, it kinda happens.. the hugs, the apologies and everything else, but it should happen more than twice. And definitely without the death.

Hearing her call Peter a boy never fails to crack me up. And I know she refers to Lambda when she mentions the methods he's okay with, but the way her mind also brings up Nat's broken finger is lowkey hilarious, as if she didn't break Emma's leg before. While the original reason was to prevent Emma from escaping, I can see how Isabella might think her actions was another way to spare the girl from getting shipped early (as extreme & messed up as that idea is). Peter just broke Nat's fingers to be a dick. Nothing more, nothing less. am i showing too much favoritism towards this woman? probably. do i care? nope.

As quick as a callback it is, I love how Isabella mentioned last chapter how Emma & the others destroyed everything and how she expresses the same wish now. Also, her inner thoughts make me wanna sob. All Isabella wants is her help her children, she could care less what they think of her. And for a moment you might believe that they won't forgive her due to the look upon Emma's face here.

As expected from our lovable protagonist though, she accepts Isabella's help once she remembers that she and all the other women were victims of the same harsh system they were forced to live under.

I can fathom how this pathetic man manages to secure a gun and escape from being surrounded without getting hit with a single bullet but whatever. At least no one else gets injured by him as he runs away like a complete coward.

Favorite panel/moment:

I've no doubt said this many times, but this is by far the best mother-daughter moment I've ever experienced in my life.

Even though we did reach the raid in the anime, we were denied this panel mostly becuase the second season didn't allow the children to carry guns, which is a terrible shame.. if anything, we were treated to a small smile from Isabella after Emma's "thank you, mom" though. Of course I'd very much prefer the above panel to be animated, but I'll take what I can get. I'm very easy to please when it comes to this woman.

[merlexxdixon]

‘Please don’t leave’ (from Carol)

It was around midnight because telling specific time had gone out the window when the world had practically ended. However, he'd been hunting, fishing, and pretty much living his life away from the clocks as much so he had a pretty good idea of the general time at any given time. Regardless, it's late, when he does a round through the blocks to check on the others. That it's so late is telling because he still vehemently denies choosing these "soft idiots" and that he's "nothing like Darylina's mop-head dumbass".

Except...Well, he's fervently ignoring all parts of that because denial was just easier at this point than admitting that he might not be so different from his baby brother after all. It didn't hurt so much to watch them hold him at arm's length still. And even though a part of him understands that it still doesn't sit well.

Even as he tells himself it cannot bother him like this and more than that cannot matter when he's trying to keep them alive. And perhaps that was the best he could get for all his trouble; just them alive.

So he makes his way utilizing the silent steps he'd perfected in the woods as he makes his way lightly moving blankets for silent cells just in case. There are noises in some of them: soft but clear as to what is going on and he ignores them though his lips curve upwards sure that that their neighbors know what's going on but aren't going to say much if they keep it down. He moves along slowly and methodically from the back blocks to the ones closer that hold people he's a bit more familiar with and thus take more of a slow perusal to make sure all is well. And for the most part, they seem to be perfectly fine until he hears a soft sound from one that has him moving immediately. He knew the sound; soft so as to not be noticeable even in sleep because being loud would alert the monsters in the vicinity. And these particular monsters existed long before the walkers making a mess of things. He moves the blanket aside and finds his heart sinking at the sight of the other shifting uneasily. He'd had a sense that she of all of them was working too hard and doing too much. She had a thing about mothering entirely too many of them without stopping to consider her own health. And while it was admirable in ways, none of which he'd tell her to her face, it definitely didn't do favors for pushing too hard and having to play catch up. Because when one was overtired that's when the memories seemed to return. And the soft noises of distress were of loss. And he has a sinking suspicion he knows what might be going on. He slips over to the bed letting the comforter fall into place shielding the cell before sinking down. He reaches slowly before giving a gentle shake. "Carol," he murmurs, "Hey, darlin', come on back now." She didn't like to talk about what happened and Merle wouldn't bring it up unprompted because there was no reason to be cruel especially not to her even by accident but the fact that there are tears when she jerks awake even before she manages to wipe them aside squeezes his heart. Yes, the one he pretended he didn't have. "There yer are," he murmurs, "Honestly, think we should avoid th' wild onions no matter how much they complain." It's got nothing to do with cooking and they both know that but he also knows that earning that from her will take time. And she doesn't say much as she quickly wipes her face until she shifts the blanket and gives a soft, "Please don't leave?" It's that want and need for comfort that does it; a part of him that still feels for few and far between that has him slowly moving to slip into the bed behind her curling an arm around her. "Ain't gotta ask me twice," he murmurs softly, "Ain't ever gotta ask me twice." If anyone did ask, he wasn't sure what they were yet; still dancing around it but she saw the best in him strangely enough as she did with Daryl. And to be fair, Merle has no idea how anyone could ever find her anything but a worthy partner. She could give as good as she got and that sort of gumption was an attractive thing. She could hold her own in this world and that was more than a little alluring for the other who needed a firmer hand. But for the moment, she needed him and that was more than enough, more than he could ask for; that someone be vulnerable and seek his protection. He gently tucks her against him giving a lighter kiss to the top of her head. "Sleep now," he whispers, "Ol' Merle's got yer, sweetheart. I may not be able to fix anythin' that happened but 'm gonna be here for what comes next. Yer ain't alone. Not ever again if I can help it."

@wexarethewalkingxdead

[saintarc]

LOVE AT FIRST BITE. LOST CHAPTER #I.

♱⃬ ͏ ⠆ WHEN SCARLET EYES PIERCES THROUGH. a dance in the ballroom could result such a fateful encounter against a young and handsome vampire whose scarlet eyes pierces through the existence of a vampire hunter of a mere girl.

🦇 ͏⠆ ooc zuko (charming and seductive for the trait of a vampire), blade stabbing through skin, blood sucking, a false alias used for reader. 1900+ words.

taglist ⌇ @steleir @tojiluv @ellzbellz @theblueslytherin @krokietino @purplepursepaint @katiemrty @saturvue @tsxkkis @httpshujii @syomi @tnt-kokoo @suniika @camilo-uwu @mimifoodlover @whynotelli @rollssas

YEAR 1769, SOMEWHERE IN ROMANIA. around the quiet and deserted streets of the country, there is life. life in the form of night. now the sun had set long and the moon rose to illuminate its silver hues onto the world as if it is to watch after every living being that wanders around the soils of the earth and the sea creatures to swim their way or the air creatures to fly their way through the solemn night.

while diurnals are deep in slumber and the nocturnals have opened their eyes to continue their life in the calm of night, there are some diurnals who stayed awake.

like a little boy that couldn't sleep with the cold wind giving him chilly kisses on his skin… or a lonely widow who sat by her balcony reminiscing the presence of her deceased husband.

there is also the people of the day who are awake at night, perfectly blending among the people of the night, unseen and unscathed. smart enough to be amongst the dead souls of the earth. the dead souls of the earth who are very well and alive.

some are gathered elsewhere, whereas some are gathered in one big hall. monsters, spirits, ghouls and whatnot are all in the same hall under the transformation of a disguise as humans who are alive in the morning. now the creatures of the night have stolen their identity and are all breathing the same eerie air right this moment.

very common ballroom music of the royalty is played with a group of musicians who dragged their sticks against strings and singers who occasionally sing in harmony, their voices so bloody and terrifying that even the spiders on one's back felt a shiver or two.

this is the party of the princess of the night, azula of dark romania. she whose birthday just turned a few hundred years and it was obviously not her idea to hold such a big and ridiculous party where she doesn't even know half of the hall’s faces except for a few associates. royal associates.

princess azula of the vampires who rules over the female vampires. a dark and cruel princess, some would say. but truly, her nature is of a vampire. it is to be expected for cruelty in some princesses over the generations.

her dark scarlet eyes followed around random creatures in the hall and eventually, it landed on her elder brother. her brother who seemed to be carrying out his common activities of unintentionally charming women just by him being in their presence.

how is such a creature like him be so likable despite him being almost the same as azula? why does he have a crowd surrounding him and not her? she doesn't really understand it, but she knows not to care anymore whenever he has more social interactions than her.

however... the female creature that azula’s brother seemed to be speaking to is odd. it is faint, but she could pick up a smell of a pure human scent coming from the female creature. perhaps it's the human skin she wore that emits the scent, but something tickles at the skin of azula that the girl does not belong here.

oh well. most of the creatures do not belong here anyways. so it is not that big of a deal to feel something odd coming from a creature. in fact, it is a great thing to feel oddness from an individual. it makes them feel like they belong to the night more than anything else.

vampire princess azula simply shrugged it off and went to get herself a cup of eyeball blood juice to quench her thirst from the human-dripping scent.

the cold yet somewhat blazing hot fingers of the man gently held the fingers of the warm in the air, the other hand on the waist of the warm, guiding the waist around the marble floor where hundreds of feet are also moving and dancing around.

quite a brownish scarlet hue for a vampire eyes bore into the soul of the opposite creature from the vampire.

he knows.

the prince who held your hands with care and guided you around like a fragile little princess knows. of course. he is the only one in the lineage with the biggest lust for blood yet also the only one who can also control his thirst for human liquid with such ease and resistance.

but for the sake of peace in his sister's party. he does not pursue his want for some blood tonight. well, maybe not in front of her or anything in the perimeter of the castle where he could be seen with the human he dances with. for the prince does not want a commotion nor anyone trying to take his prey away from him.

it would be a shame to be discovered over the metallic scent of human blood leaking all over the dense and cold air. these creatures are all lustful for human presence. their main prey is the human who does not slumber at night and chooses to be walking around in complete darkness. such imbeciles gamble with the grim reaper who awaits the perfect moment to grab their souls into the underworld.

he looked at you and gave you a tiny little smile, not very much fond of smiling at girls in the ballroom whose name he didn't even know. but he knows your name, it is lady noire of the valentino family. the prince has asked for your name the moment he sets his eyes on you, soul or soulless.

such innocence that displays over your gaze right at the prince of dark romania, as if you haven't seen the horrors that he can commit. everyone in the world of darkness knows him, vampire prince zuko. the firstborn son of the vampire lord ozai, brother of princess azula.

zuko slowly danced you out of the ballroom. then, once again with much gentleness, he took your hands and led you to wherever he had in mind. whether it be the castle gardens or the kitchen tables. it does not matter when all the prince wants is a lick on your skin and a tiny little stab against your skin.

truly every single woman he knows will foolishly follow him in his lead and zuko will surely make the time worth it. not a single woman has failed at allowing the prince to strike his fangs under their skin. not this time either.

for under the moonlight, he once again treated a source of food with care— undressing the collar of her dress to let it slide down the smoothness of her shoulders. zuko does this one thing with every other blood carriers. he would cover their mouth shut and begin his feast.

but for tonight, he felt like doing something special, something he's never done before. what exactly did vampire prince zuko do that was so different from every other of his acts?

he did not cover the mouth of the valentino daughter in order to let her cries echo through the night.

what a move for a true vampire. he finally proves himself to be the perfect vampire his father has always wanted him to be. to let the screams and cries of the victim be carried through the wind and all around.

however, you did not even part your lips. they are sealed shut. like candle waxes sealing a letter before they are handed in to be sent to the recipient. how brave you are, little one, to not part cry out loud as a vampire sinks his ferocious fangs into your pretty skin. it wouldn't be so pretty anymore if there are two fang marks that will never disappear.

is that a wise idea? to bear the pain and only sealed your eyes shut instead of opening your mouth to scream in pain?

vampire prince zuko occasionally kissed your neck as he sucked on your blood. he enjoys every moment of it. from the moment he sunk his teeth into your skin and his fangs worked their way through to collect blood into his mouth. even the two small kisses every five seconds.

he loves it.

“you are fit for a king. your blood… one of a kind. how rare to have such a sweet flavour dancing around my tongue, lady noire,” zuko murmurs against your skin and plants a kiss on your neck, his breath hitching against your skin.

you move a little in your spot, locked against a tree that has to see through the entire process of a vampire feasting on an innocent soul.

“your highness, why do you not report me immediately?” you questioned as zuko released his fangs from your skin, licking off the excess blood from your wound. he then looked at you with lustful scarlet eyes.

“because i know you'll taste good,” zuko wipes his mouth with a finger. “and i was right.”

“are you going to let me go?”

the prince nods. “once—”

stab.

a burn ignited from the spot where a pure and blessed silver knife is stabbed at the sides of the vampire prince.

“you're reveling in the flavour of my blood until you forget to assume that some humans are not fans of vampires,” you looked at the prince, those same innocent eyes flashing right into his gaze as he grabbed your hand where you stuck the blade into his skin.

“you— who are you…?” zuko choked out, resisting the burn as he fought with it, grip loosening on your hands. you quickly let go of the silver knife just as he pulled it out and tossed it away.

“y/n silvernalle, vampire hunter,” you tore the thin layer of big puffy skirt that you wore to reveal a number of vampire repellents strapped all over your bare legs.

zuko saw them and chuckled, before breaking out into laughter. “silvernalle? what an honour to be graced by a silvernalle’s presence.” his hands covered the wound as his burned skin recovered extremely quickly. “but you silvernalles have a long way to go before you can erase my existence.”

you clicked your tongue and pointed another silver dagger right at him. “i am here to change that, vampire.”

all the prince did was sigh. “it's a shame you're a hunter. you could've been something to me. i enjoy the taste of your blood, m’lady. but i don't want to meddle with a troublesome human. until next time, lady y/n.”

vampire prince zuko shoots a tiny smile and takes a step back before he disappears into the night, a chance to eliminate another vampire has already escaped from your grasp. here you are, with another failed mission as an honourary silvernalle, the main reason of a vampire's death.

the moon shines beauty on the silver weapon now laying on the grass and stained with the blood of zuko. your fingers that zuko had caressed and treated with gentleness picked up the blade, teeth gritting.

“i will kill you, vampire prince zuko.”

zuko felt a chill crawl down his spine. a smug little smirk reincarnated after centuries of feeling mere boredom with existence. life should be a little more entertaining now with a young and beautiful vampire hunter right at his heart.

© SAINTARC. LOVE AT FIRST BITE 2024. DO NOT REPOST OR ALTER.

[anywherebuthere]

we were both young when I first saw you || f.w.

Fred Weasley x fem slytherin!reader

"you burn me away until there is nothing left for you to hold."

Wordcount: 986

A/N: Shakespeare wishes he was me 😩🙏 this is a joke I'm very sorry. But uhhh, I wrote this cause I was feeling sad and it's not great but whatever 🤸‍♀️ title has no real correlation to the fic, it's just there because of Taylor's new album hehe.

Warnings: mediocre writing, angst but really bad, self destructive fred (only shown in relationship context), maybe a wee bit toxic </3 no happy ending

Please do not repost this!! I do not consent to this piece of fiction being published on any other site besides tumblr unless it is by my doing.

wanna be tagged? join my taglist!

It wasn't that Fred had never noticed her.

On the contrary, it was rather hard not to.

She was always there, at the center of every class discussion, the embodiment of angelic grace in the eyes of their peers. Gazes followed her wherever she went and he would be lying if he said he was an exception.

The difference was that she noticed him back.

Moments in which they lingered on the outskirts of their circles, though far and few in between, existed. Quick darting glances and the brush of fingers as they passed in the halls were the extents of their interactions, neither daring to cross the perpetual divide between them.

In his eyes, the chasm of difference was unbridgeable. They were separated by opposing forces and as time passed, the abyss became endless in their polarity.

While she wore green, he wore red, the colours contrasting against each other in the segregated rows of classrooms.

While her robes were brand new and tailored, his had already been worn by all three of his older brothers.

While she sat serenely, he fidgeted, never feeling content in the stilted quiet.

She was creation, a paragon of life, flouncing from experience to experience, friendship to friendship.

He was ruination, determined to live a life of destruction, leaving chaos in his wake so long as it brought him laughter.

Cautious, calculating.

Callous, carefree.

But what was more temptatious than the impossible?

So the flitting gazes persisted. Brushing hands became the briefest linking of pinkies, palms meeting in the smooth press of a palmer's kiss as they passed. In their prolonged touches, their world of difference closed, the rift seemingly gapped.

Secret passageways became the center stage for whatever it was they shared; the scraps of feeling and sweet nothings exchanged under dim candlelight and damp corridors.

It wasn't much but it was enough.

And to her, it was everything.

How cruel of the universe to so fervently push two souls together only to rip them apart as fast as they came.

-

A life of hardship and struggle had not allowed him to grow accustomed to nice things. Fred resented things he didn't have and when he did have them, he did not understand how to look after them.

Some things were meant to be handled with care, and in the aftermath of their heated touch, a purgatory free of sin, he would forget that she was not another thing for him to break.

"You didn't think I was taking you to the Yule Ball did you?" he snorted, aiming his gaze to the low stone ceiling of their passageway, perhaps subconsciously avoiding the look of hope that had adorned her face. One of which had crumpled at his harsh tone just now.

His palms grew clammy and he sensed her shifting away from him. He snuck a glance down at her and felt a pang deep within his chest at the sight of her slowly folding into herself.

"Yeah no, it was uhm- just an idea," she responded, lip pursed, her voice whittling down to a trace of a whisper.

"I was actually thinking of asking Angelina. Johnson? You know her right?" he continued. He wasn't sure what compelled him to say this. He hadn't been thinking of asking Johnson.

In fact, for the last week, he had thought of nothing but what it would be like to dance with her under the night sky. Of how the moonlight would reflect off her silky skin. So why was he twisting the knife in her heart further?

She had been the one that had taken the first jump across their chasmic divide. Despite the lion crest adorning his jumper and the snake on hers, he had been the coward. His bravery was nowhere to be found when it came to the unknown.

She knew that she wanted him.

All he knew was fire and his innate ability in burning away the beauty around him, bit by bit until nothing remained but ash.

She didn't return the next night.

Or the next after that.

-

"Look I said I was sorry, I don't know what more you want me to say" Fred exclaimed, exasperated.

She refused to meet his gaze, her face flushed in frustration and he swore he caught a glimpse of tears in her eyes. He faltered.

She had returned to the drafty hall after a week. A week in which he continued to show up, waiting in hopes that she would come back and they could resume whatever semblance of a relationship they had shared.

Pride and dignity be damned, he was ready to grovel at her feet. When the time came, however, he was left stuttering, unsure. The unknown loomed over him, awash with uncertainty and insecurity.

He had made her cry.

In the midst of this realization, she mumbled something, though it was lost to the buzz in his ear as he witnessed himself destroyed yet another perfectly good thing.

"W-what?" he mumbled, dazed.

"I asked why you're ashamed of me," she said, louder this time.

For the first time tonight, under the heavy cloak of shadow in their corridor, she looked him in the eye. Her lip was quivering, eyes shining with unshed tears, though her voice remained clear.

Creation, clarity, control. She was the very essence of everything he was not and would never be.

He will never be enough for her.

Taking his silence as an answer, she turned away from him for the last time.

He will never be able to stop hurting her.

Suddenly the bridge across their divide crumpled and he watched her crumble with it, the ashes of their time together blowing away in the wind as she stepped forward.

He will never be able to cross the rift between them again.

His answer to her question died away on his tongue.

"It's me that you should be ashamed of."

taglist: @mollysolo @gxtitobxby @anchoeritic @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts

[atlabeth]

everything happens for a reason part 3 - zuko x fem!reader

I feel so much, I get carried away

part 2 | masterlist | part 4

a/n: enjoy the fluff in this chapter bc its not gonna last

once again for reference - this chapter takes place 2 years after the last one so y/n is 11 and zuko is 12

warning(s): eating/food, but otherwise its pure fluff

wc: 3.3k

chapter title comes from carried away by madison beer!

i ran out of kid zuko gifs so i had to make my own smh if you want something done you gotta do it yourself

The young friendship only flourished after that fateful day. Zuko and Y/N began spending almost all of their freetime together between Y/N teaching him about her culture, their usual talking in the hallways, and finding ways to hang out together outside of her schedule. She was absolutely delighted to be teaching Zuko though, so she always made sure there was time for her self proclaimed academy.

Y/N was constantly busy around the castle, so in order to hang out they had started waking up extra early — the pair had become experts at sneaking around the castle with the first rays of the sun. The gardens were a favourite because of its availability, and of course, the turtleducks. It also gave Y/N a chance to bend outside of healing, something that they began to take advantage of as they got older.

Sparring sessions became a regular between them as a way for Y/N to get some practice with martial bending, Zuko to experience fighting against a waterbender, and just another way for them to spend time together. Of course, they had to keep it as quiet as possible to avoid alerting anyone of their presence, but that became the least of their worries over time.

They each pushed each other to be better, and with Y/N’s healing skills, they were able to walk away every morning without any injuries. But after discovering a very unfair advantage that the prince held, she decided that morning sparring just wasn’t enough.

(“Firebending gets stronger in the morning,” he had told her after a particularly brutal blast resulting in some emergency bending on Y/N’s part to extinguish a tree. “My teachers always say that we rise with the sun.”

“Well,” she had said with a smile. “We rise with the moon. You just signed yourself up for some late night sparring sessions.”)

Y/N had truly started to come into her own. It had been two years since her capture, and though she had in no way made peace with her life in the Fire Nation, she was trying to take advantage of it as much as she could. Even though she despised being at the beck and call of nobles and guards, she couldn’t deny the opportunities it gave her to hone her abilities. Her healing had improved tenfold and her martial bending wasn’t too shabby either. Between all of the time spent with Zuko and practicing her bending, she was able to distract herself from her dim reality.

But the world was a cruel, cruel place, no matter how much she tried to ignore it. It didn’t treat souls like Zuko and Y/N kindly, a fact that they would soon become aware of.

In the moment though, Y/N was more focused on not getting burnt.

She twirled to the side as a small flame shot past her, just barely managing to dodge it as she bent a stream of water out from the pond and sent it at Zuko. He turned it to steam as he blocked it with his own fire, which he then sent back at her with a combination of a punch and a kick. Y/N raised her hands and bent up a large wall of water from the pond, and with a small grunt on her part, sent it flying towards Zuko. He tried to conjure up his own fire shield in an effort to extinguish the water once more, but it was too little too late and he ended up getting knocked to the ground and completely drenched.

Y/N couldn’t stop the giggle that fell from her lips as Zuko wiped water off of his face, sputtering incoherently while he pushed himself up. “Did you really have to do that?” he complained.

“You know I do.” She grinned as she walked around the pond to his side, cracking her knuckles before she began to bend the water out of his clothes. “This was in the morning, too. Admit it, I’m getting better!”

He cracked a smile of his own. “You really are. I just wish that you getting better didn’t end up in me getting soaked every time.”

She bent the water she had extracted from his clothes back into the pond and held out her hand to help him up from the ground, which he took gratefully. “That just makes it more fun.”

As she helped pull him up, Y/N found herself more than a little transfixed. The rays of the rising sun shone down on him perfectly, and the smile still on his lips made her feel flutter bats in her stomach.

Y/N didn’t know when she had started seeing Zuko in a different light than usual. When his laughs became melodious, his smile like a ray of sunshine on its own, his company coveted. While she was usually able to trade verbal jabs with him without a second thought, doing her self-assigned job of keeping him humble, something had changed in the past year.

They grew steadily closer over the years after they had met, but one event in particular all but pushed Zuko into her arms.

Ursa’s banishment.

Of course, they didn’t know that she had been banished. No one aside from Ozai knew the true nature of her disappearance — to her children and the other inhabitants of the palace, it was just that. A disappearance.

It was suspicious, yes. All in the span of a day, Princess Ursa vanished, Fire Lord Azulon mysteriously perished, and Ozai took his place, but nothing could be done. It was a somber day for every servant — Ursa showed them a kindness that couldn’t be found anywhere else in the palace, and to rub salt in the wound, a man just as cruel as Azulon had risen to the throne.

Zuko was devastated. He had always been close with his mother, and the only thing she had given him before leaving was a short goodbye and a kiss. He was angry beyond belief at the abandonment, and that anger overshadowed his grief.

Y/N tried to help him, but he lashed out at her.

“Your mother is still here and she loves you! Mine left me like I was nothing. Don’t try and say you know how I feel.”

“But my father is gone. I do know how you feel Zuko, and I want to help you, but I can’t help you if you keep pushing me away.”

“…you don’t know anything.”

It hurt, but she knew he needed space. She gave it to him, letting him brew alone and take out his anger however necessary, but let him know that the door was open when he was ready to talk.

He did — he had apologized for what he said and she accepted, and Zuko ended up spilling every emotion he had to her over the next few weeks. She listened, offered advice when she could, and made Zuko feel a little bit less alone in the scheme of it all. It was a horrible experience, but it brought them closer together, and the prince was eternally thankful that he had a friend to help him through the ordeal.

The night that he came to her room, admitting that he was hurting and asking for her help — Y/N thinks that was the moment she fell for him. She cursed herself at the time for developing feelings for her only friend in the palace, but over time she learned to cover them up. She had to remember her place.

She understood her role, but it got harder and harder to keep up with it the more time she spent with Zuko — this moment was no exception.

“Yeah, yeah. I just hold back because I don’t want to burn you.”

“Liar!” she exclaimed, hitting him playfully on the shoulder. “You forget that I can heal myself if anything goes wrong. Besides, I know you’d never burn me. I trust you.”

Zuko smiled and smoothed his clothes back down, the only sign of their sparring session now gone. “Good, because I trust you too. No matter how many times you totally drench me.”

She snorted as she started to walk back to the palace. “Like I said, that just makes it more fun. And as fun as it has been completely crushing you in combat, duty calls.”

He sighed, giving a reluctant nod as he started to follow her — then his eyes lit up, and he grabbed her arm to stop them. “Wait, how much work do you have today?”

Y/N thought for a few seconds then shrugged. “Dunno, it varies. I got stuck working with Jaysa all this morning, so that’s going to take forever, I have my usual healing lessons with Master Rika after, and then I usually just end up going around with whatever else comes my way for the rest of the day.” She grinned and lowered her voice as if the subject of the matter could somehow hear her. “I’ve been working on a dress for my mother in secret because her birthday is coming up soon, so the free time I get between my shifts that isn’t spent with you has been going towards that.”

Zuko gaped. “You’re making her a dress all on your own, with no help? How?”

She held up her hands with a proud smile. “These things are good for waterbending, sewing, and hitting best friends.”

He gave her a sideways grin at that. “I’m your best friend?”

Y/N snickered and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, dummy. You’re like, the only person that likes me in this whole nation. Of course you’re my best friend.”

“Well…” he started. “Would a best friend like to break the rules even more tonight?”

Her eyes lit up in turn, completely betraying her excitement despite her attempt to look nonchalant about it. “That depends — what d’you have in mind?”

He grinned and leaned forward, dropping his voice to a whisper as he spoke in her ear. “So, after you finish work for the night, we…”

-

It was a struggle to get through all of her work after the plan that she and Zuko had formulated — sure, they broke the rules all the time. The basis of their entire friendship was breaking the rules, but this was going farther than they ever had before. Y/N wasn’t thinking about the consequences though, she was thinking about the journey — that was her first mistake.

She had rushed through all of her chores with Jaysa, hardly paid attention in her healing lessons, and made quick work of the rest of her day until she was finally able to meet up with Zuko at one of the various servant entrances that she had shown him.

“You’re finally here!” he exclaimed, his body buzzing with nervous energy. “I thought you were never gonna come.”

“Some of us actually have work to get done, mister crown prince,” she joked as she bumped his shoulder with hers. “But that doesn’t matter — let’s get going before someone catches us! I don’t want it to get too dark either.”

“It’s gonna be fine,” Zuko reassured. “My dad is in war meetings all day, no one is going to catch us. Now come on!”

Zuko pushed open the door, grabbed her hand, and began to pull her along. A laugh fell from her lips as they ran, unable to stop herself from casting a cautionary glance behind them as they got farther from the palace. Y/N tried to push her worries out of her mind — like she had told Zuko earlier, she trusted him.

That was her second mistake.

It was surprisingly easy to sneak past the guards around the wall and just as quick to get through Royal Caldera, and before Y/N knew it, they had arrived in the city.

It was nothing like she had ever seen before.

The village she had grown up in was miniscule compared to anything in the Fire Nation, and she was especially awestruck upon entering the city. As home to more middle class citizens than anything, it was a bustling marketplace filled with workers and nobles alike — if she hadn’t been preoccupied with the stars in her eyes, she would’ve been able to see the way Zuko was absolutely beaming at her.

“Come on!” he exclaimed, grabbing her hand once again as he began to walk — at a much more moderate pace than their run here — down the streets. “There’s so much here that I wanna show you. Have you ever been out here?”

She shook her head, allowing herself to gawk at her surroundings while they went down the street. “We aren’t really allowed to leave the palace since we’re technically still prisoners, just… ones that work. My mother always had to give her money to one of the other servants so that when they went out to buy their things, they could pick some stuff up for us as well. This is all totally new.”

Once again, a frown found its way onto Zuko’s face, but only for a split second before he pointed at a stall opposite to them. “Oh— there’s a fruit stand! Come on, you have to try this.”

Y/N let Zuko pull her over to the stand, looking at the array of fruits on display while Zuko conversed with the merchant. A few silver pieces later and they were walking away with a basket of produce — miraculously, the prince hadn’t been recognized, so she figured he wouldn’t need a disguise. Third mistake.

“Here,” he said, offering her a mango from the basket. “You haven’t lived until you’ve tried Fire Nation mango.”

She took the fruit from him and bit into it, her eyes immediately widening as she turned on Zuko. “Tui’s gills, this is delicious! You’re telling me that you people just have this on hand but we don’t get any of it?”

He shrugged and took a fig from the basket as Y/N wiped some juice off of her chin. “There’s a reason I’ve helped you break into the kitchens so many times. Now, where do you wanna go next?”

-

The pair spent the next couple of hours browsing the marketplace, enjoying their day on the Fire Lord’s coin. Zuko was more than happy to show Y/N parts of his culture after all she had taught him, and she was more than happy to experience it. They had been able to buy lanterns for the upcoming Festival of Szeto, purchase their own blends of tea leaves, and of course Zuko insisted on getting fire flakes and gummies.

(Y/N thought he was insane. Why in the world would the Fire Nation want to make food that hurt them on purpose? She was going to stick with her newfound love for mangoes.)

But Zuko hadn’t even brought her to the best part yet.

“Can I open my eyes now?” She asked, her anxious tone betraying her curiosity.

“Now you can.” Y/N was met with Zuko’s grin and as she focused on the stand in front of them, she had to make a conscious effort to not gape.

Zuko had brought her to a sewing stand with all the threads, fabrics, and silks that she could dream of in all kinds of colors. She immediately rushed forward, unable to stop herself from running her hands over and through each and every piece of material — she was in a seamstress’s heaven.

“I take that as a sign you like it?” Zuko asked happily.

“Oh, definitely,” she confirmed, still completely caught up in all the choices. “This is so much better than all the material we’re given to work with!”

“That’s why I brought you here. I thought you could get some stuff for yourself, and some stuff to help with the dress you’re making for your mom. I don’t really know how sewing works, but I thought that this was one way I could help.”

“That is so sweet of you!” she gushed. “Thank you so much — you should probably get around to some of the other stalls because I… I think I’m gonna be here for a while.”

Zuko laughed and fished out of a couple of golden pieces then set them in her hand. “That’s okay. I’ll meet you over by the steps; we can watch the sunset together.”

They nodded as parting gifts and each was enveloped in their tasks; Y/N beginning to ask the merchant questions about everything at their stand and Zuko off to entertain himself for a few more minutes.

Soon enough, Y/N had her own small bundle of silks and fabrics, her mind already going off in a million different ways of how she could incorporate it into the design. She found Zuko sitting on the steps and as she took her own seat next to him, he handed her another mango.

“Did you find everything you wanted?” She nodded and hummed gratefully as she accepted the fruit, taking a bite as her eyes fell on the skyline in front of them.

“I had a really great time today, Zuko. I really can’t thank you enough for taking me out here. I… I think I forgot what it was like to feel like this.”

“Like what?”

“...happy.” She paused for a second before allowing herself to meet his eyes. “All the time I spend with you in the palace… It’s one of the only times that I really do feel happy. And being out here today, getting to walk around where I wanted and buy things and just— I feel free, Zuko. And that means everything to me.”

She felt the heat rush to her cheeks and she turned away. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to go on like that—“

Zuko gently reached out for her hand, drawing her attention back to him and the soft smile on his face.

“Well… I care about you. You’re nice to me, and you take time out of your day to help me which you don’t have to do. This is just me trying to pay you back for all you’ve done to help me. We can do this more often — whenever my dad’s busy.”

Her own smile grew on her lips and she nodded as she laced her fingers with his. “I care about you too. And.. I’d like that.”

Y/N leaned her head on his shoulder and together, they watched the sunset over the city.

There was no place either of them would rather be.

-

Y/N and Zuko made their way back to the palace as quickly as they could after realizing how late it had gotten. Y/N was sure that she was going to get the talking-to of her life after what she had done, but she was almost giddy after what had just happened. She could deal with any of Kura’s consequences later — right now the only thought in her mind was the feeling of Zuko’s hand in hers.

The night had been nothing short of perfect. She had felt freer than ever before out there in the city with Zuko, and knowing that he reciprocated the feelings she had for him was enough to make her heart burst. She cared for him, and he cared for her.

Of course, there was that nagging question of how they would continue now that their friendship had morphed into something more, but once again — it was something she would deal with later. Her fourth and final mistake.

But as a guard turned the corner, Y/N realized she might not get the chance. She quickly let go of Zuko’s hand and tucked it under the bundle of fabric, hoping that the gesture of affection had been missed by the man.

If he had noticed, he showed no sign of it. He stopped in front of them, a gruff voice speaking from behind the mask with words that made her heart stop.

“Prince Zuko, the Fire Lord has requested an audience with you.”

-

haha OOPS

perm tag list: @dv0412 @siriuslyslyslytherin @maruchan77

ehfar: @chandies-sideblog @persica27

atla: @marianne1806

[cinnamonest]

Rewriting my Diluc housewife thoughts but I saved it in my notes this time, but I made it infinitely more sexist than it already was before bc 1) I was in the kink mood and 2) the spirits of writing gods possessed my body and told me that is the way all Diluc content should be, so, this is major 1950s-ish housewifey horrendously misogynistic shit, you've been warned. Like, even *I* looked back over this and was like "wow this is vile" which is kinda saying something for me so, putting the nastier parts under cut for the sake of my followers' eyes ----------- I was thinking about the post a while back about Diluc reforming a criminal darling - a thief around Mondstadt that's been on a crime spree and of course he catches wind of that and goes to defeat the perpetrator (surprisingly very easy? How is a thief this weak?) and haul the bastard off to jail except... What's this? Said criminal is actually just some girl and not a gross ugly bastard?? This changes things. Clearly, this was not an intentional act of malice or greed, but rather, he, master of criminal psychology™, rationalizes that the world is far too cruel for unwifed girls that have no one to depend on, a cold terrible place, so you must have been driven to these actions out of desperation. You had no provider, no caretaker, which are needs. How could you possibly be expected to provide a means of living for yourself?? This is just the consequences of the unfairness of the world. However, things all work out in the end. You need to be taken care of and restrained from these self-destructive choices by force (since you cannot recognize how bad it is, not that you're expected to, it's natural that you have poor perception, that's why you need a man to make choices for you), and he needs a wife. This solution benefits all parties.

He is, however, a rather dense man, and doesn't really think to like, tell you that. Or tell you anything. He's too lost in thought in his planning -- gonna get you new clothes to replace your ragged ones, gonna have to rearrange the guard schedule so they can watch the house better, all that -- and just kinda slings you up and over his shoulder without a word. Ignores you kicking and hitting because it doesn't really hurt or anything, you're too weak for that. Just says he’ll explain in detail later, but don’t worry, you’re not going to jail. He’s just taking you home. This is better, he says. Stop struggling so much, what, you want to go to jail? No? Then be still. And you don't recognize that it's good for you yet, but again, that's expected. In a better time or society, you would have been married off sooner, and prevented from ever falling victim to your own decision making to begin with, but the world isn't perfect and you can be forgiven for it. You're not responsible for your own actions since you can't comprehend them. It's frustrating and he sighs a bit over it, but that's just the way things are. You'll be happy in the long run, even if it takes a while, you're naturally programmed for a better lifestyle he has in mind. And, really, he's glad you weren't married off, because if you were then he never would have had you, so even though it was technically unideal, the stars align and the universe works out things perfectly. It's all the more of a sign that this was fate and you were made for him. The issue is that a hardened criminal darling is... Not the ideal candidate for a housewife. To some extent, he's right that the criminal underworld hardens a person, you can't survive in that realm if you're submissive or weak willed. And criminal darling certainly is not. Loud mouthed, opinionated, argumentative, bad attitude, defiant and aggressive and very much unafraid. A complete loose cannon. All very unfavorable traits. Worst of all, very much unaccepting of and ungrateful for the privilege of a second chance and being graciously granted the opportunity for a better life. Lots of bad behaviors.

The cursing is a problem. It's not very... Wife-like. Gives off a bad image, you know. Especially since said cursing is usually directed at him at a very loud volume with a snarl and getting all up in his face to tell him he's fucking insane and a bastard. To be honest, the worst part isn't the words themselves, it's the fact that you are so unafraid to be defiant and so fiery that is the primary issue. You disobey very deliberately. Little acts of pettiness. Being mean to the maids who are so graciously trying to teach you how to cook (at his direction), since you had no idea how to (and nearly burned his house down as a result). The first time you were mean and bitter and that's how you learned they report back to him about how you behaved. It did not go over well.  

Intentionally burning food. Once you somehow found a bottle in a cabinet somewhere in the mansion and put rat poison in his food, made him sick. Muttering a sarcastic whoops and shoving a vase off to crash and shatter on the floor. Early on you refused to wear all the nice dresses you were generously given and even tried to go through his clothes to find something to wear, which was kinda cute since it was way too big, but still. You mutter and grumble under your breath every time you're given a command. The most important thing is sex, though. You know, your job. One of your only real responsibilities. He has a very stressful job. It's only reasonable that he can expect to come home to his sweet, loving little wife with open arms and equally open legs. You've probably fucked around a bit right? For money, for favors, for intel, you get the idea, lots of ties to criminal gangs to earn their trust. So, if you do it for something so insignificant, how much more does he deserve it for taking care of you fully? You should -- and you will, with time -- drop to your knees the second he walks through the door. But instead, sigh, you fight and whimper and cover your face in shame after you spasm and cum, and worst of all, you actively try not to cum. You shouldn't feel ashamed of that, it's good, he says. Sure, you may not be officially married (since the laws of Mondstadt unfortunately require that whole "consent" thing for both parties, ugh), but, he's basically your husband right? So, it's perfectly normal, you're supposed to cum for him. Maybe once you're all knocked up you'll be even hornier, and less shameful. He actually wasn't expecting you to be this bad. Incredibly stubborn and prideful. Literally the exact opposite traits of a good wife, you know, submissive and humble and obedient. He kinda thought that it was like... automatic. That once he just kinda shoved you in the right environment, it would be like flipping a switch right? Apparently not. But no matter. It can be changed, with effort and time. You're worth it. See, you're not supposed to backtalk him, you're supposed to smile and do what you're told without question. You're supposed to submit and obey, and instead you seem hellbent on pissing him off out of spite - and frankly, you're doing a good job of achieving that. Every time you defy him it sparks an irritation he can't describe, worse than he'd normally get from just being snarled at by anyone - no, something about being disrespected by someone he feels is beneath him makes him much, much angrier than it would be if it were, say, one of the business partners who get snappy and argumentative very frequently. He could break you and it would be easy, don't you know that? You stomp and you hit him and you yell, but clearly you process that you have to look up to look him in the eye, you have to realize how much smaller you are. You hit him even though you have to know by now he'll just grab your wrists, and like always you'll be unable to even hope of pulling out of his grip, the strength difference between you two is so great. There's no way you don't realize all that, yet you continue to behave the way you do. The inferiority is so blatantly obvious, but you act as if it's not. He spends a lot of time contemplating the source of this, the cause of your behavior, it occupies his thoughts. It's like... You resent him for something. Could it possibly be kidnapping you and keeping you as a glorified sex slave? No, no, that's not it. It's something else, yes. Are you just bitter about being inferior in, you know, every conceivable way? Is that it? The criminality for you was compensation to make you feel powerful, perhaps. You have a complex. You resent him not for anything he's done, but because you know he's stronger and smarter and generally superior to you. You don't want to accept it. You're prideful when you shouldn't be. You're supposed to be humble and content with your inferiority. Yeah, that's it. You just have a negative perception of the lifestyle you're supposed to have. Maybe some event in your life or someone else warped your view of things. You don't realize how happy you'd be if you just accepted it. Yes, if you submitted to it, if you swallowed your pride and actually accepted your place, you'd find you would be very happy, you just don't know that. Or maybe, your brain can't grasp something like that. After all, that's the reason you're supposed to be the submissive party of the two of you, you're not as bright or perceptive (says the densest man alive). You have to be... Led. Guided. So he says it. He is, again, a dense man. He does not really think about the fact that perhaps blatantly confronting you with the epiphany he thinks he's had and specifically using the words inferior and weak and small is probably not going to make you very happy. You get bitchy and bratty and try to hit him and he sighs because, see, this is exactly what he's talking about. You reacting the way you did only confirms you do have a complex, he says. So, how could he go about... reconditioning? He is not the most creative man, but thankfully it's a rather easy problem to solve. If you're reminded of a reality often enough, you have to accept it. For starters, using physical strength against you. Maybe that will metaphorically open your eyes. Holds you down in place when you're hitting him like you do, firmly bending you over a counter or whatever and just holding you in place. Come on, try to get up, try to push him off. You snarl and claw at the marble and push will all your strength, but he doesn't budge, not until you politely apologize and ask him to let you up. If you're being difficult and not going where he tells you to, well, he can just sling you up over his shoulder and carry you. If you're fighting being fucked he can just flip you over and press your face into the mattress and hold you still, and you can't help but take the brutal reality that you're basically a ragdoll to him, that is, physically overpowering you doesn't even require trying. It helps to knock you down a peg, remind you of your place and maybe get you to swallow that pride a bit. The orgasms and fucking have a similar effect -- every time you can't help but feel like he has a power over you. And really, he kinda does. Every time you lay there still panting and shivering in aftershock, the shame comes swarming in, all the obscene noises you made and the way you came undone under the person that treats you like property. Even if the rational part of you knows better, you can't help but feel like in a way it's like you let him win, allowed yourself to more or less prove him right. Maybe you'll learn better if you're in more humiliating positions. Stuck getting rammed from behind, hand forcing your face down and ass up. Actually correcting bad behaviors requires more direct approaches, so he takes the... Old fashioned route. After all, it's pretty much guaranteed to work. You don't listen to words, you don't listen to reason, but you'll certainly listen to handprints and belt welts on your ass. It's the first time you really, truly break, and that brings him a lot of satisfaction. The first time you really cry and whimper and beg and apologize so profusely it feels like you mean it for once. Granted, for a while you just persist in your bad behaviors and even try to run when you see him sigh and take the belt off, but you never get far. And, most notably, you actually fix your behaviors, with enough reminders. At one point, the next time you start being bad and get to bitching and snarling and putting up a fight, you catch the look on his face and, for once, you shut your mouth and look down and mumble an apology by default. See, you're learning. Speaking of, you still have that major issue with backtalking him. You're supposed to submit to him and acknowledge his authority over you. So he gets firm. Grabs you by the jaw and forces you to look him in the eye and reminds you that you will *not* get an attitude with him. You *will* show some respect. You say yes sir and no sir and do what you're told. And if you forget, he can give you a reminder, if you want that. But you shake your head with fear in your eyes, say you don't want that. It makes you mad. You want to lash back, but you swallow your pride and mutter a fine - before realizing the mistake, violating the rule you were just reminded of. You stammer out a yes sir but it's already too late. He has to control himself too, not let his anger get the better of him. He speaks in a way that isn't snarling and mean, but rather firm, cold, a flat tone that asserts dominance and demands respect. But... still wants you to like him. So he has to be nice, too. After all, you'll learn better if you're rewarded for being good, right? So you can get little rewards. Words of affirmation. A pat to the head. He'll buy you something you want, let you drink a bit (since, as a thief, of course, you had a problem with that before you came home, but that had to be corrected too, since drunkenness isn't very befitting). And sooner or later he does have a really good little wife. He's proud of you. You smile and obey commands without complaining. He can come home every day, and rather than hearing a long report from the staff about how much trouble you caused that day, instead you have food and smiles and sweet affection waiting on him, you hug him when he walks through the door. You're polite and sweet to the various business partners and guests that come through -- you don't speak to them without permission though, of course, and you look down at the ground so you don't make eye contact with another man. People say he's lucky and how they wish they had a wife that was so outwardly affectionate to them as you are to him, always clinging to him physically. And you don't complain or every object to anything, you just smile and say yes and do it. It makes him happy in a weird way he can't quite articulate. A warm swell of pride, a feeling of success. You have vague memories of a time when you were breaking into houses just to scrape by, not knowing when you'd eat next, not knowing where you'd sleep. It's kind of a fuzzy memory now. You don't have to worry about those things anymore, and you're a lot happier this way.

[scarlettscribbles]

she used to be mine

- Anthony Bridgerton & TwinSister!Reader

Tags: 4k words - 3rd person POV, sibling fluff, family fluff, Anthony/Siena (not the main focus), Anthony is a soft boi when it comes to you (the softest, in fact), mourning

Warning/s: a bit spicy at the beginning, mild injury, mention of blood, major character death

Summary: A question from Siena about love sends Anthony into the past; making him recall his memories of a sister long loved, but never forgotten. A story told in moments. 

a/n: don’t mind me, just manifesting my angst and bridgerton needs >> titles from waitress the musical

i. it’s not simple to say

“What do you think about love?” 

“Love? What’s this all of a sudden?” Anthony laughed. He captured between his hands Siena’s own and kissed it playfully, making her giggle. “What do I think about it, well. I love kissing you, touching you-” he planted a soft kiss on her collarbone as his hands trailed down her abdomen. “I love--”

“Okay, no stop. That is not what I meant at all!” Siena stilled his wandering hands, laughing. She snuggled closer until they were chest to chest. “Love with your friends, family,...women.” she waggled her brows at the last word.

“Women, hah.” Anthony cast his eyes upward. “The only women I’ve ever loved are my mother and five sisters.”

“You mean four.”

“What?”

“You have four sisters: Daphne, Eloise, Francesca, and Hyacinth if memory serves correctly. Unless your mother’s pregnant, which I believe is unlikely. My lord, did you perhaps miscount?” Siena teased. 

“No, no.” he waved his hand, chuckling. “She…”

ii. i still remember that girl

She was born 9 minutes before him; the eldest Bridgerton. This was a fact she liked lording over him teasingly. She won many arguments by simply stating “I am the eldest Bridgerton and therefore…” 

Sometimes he could still hear her say it in his head. 

“Remind me why I’m accompanying you again?”

“Because I am your older sister and--”

“I should always agree to what you’re saying, blah blah. Oh this is so crowded! Why could you not just send a maid to fetch the book?”

“Well what’s the fun in that? Come on Tony, you’re being too slow! It will be nighttime when we arrive there and the book I wanted will be gone!” she moaned miserably, turning around and tugging on his hand to encourage him to make haste.

“You and your dramatics. Why is this book so important anyway?”

“It simply is. I need it for when I become the Viscountess.” she smiled at him, chin jutting out proudly. “I can’t wait to get Papa’s watch. I will get it right, as Viscountess? He will pass it onto me along with the title.”

“Uh no he won’t. I am the heir in case you have forgotten, sister.”

“But I am the oldest. We might be both 10 but I am 9 minutes older than you.” she argued, waving her pointer finger at him. 

“Yes, yes you’ve said that like a million times now! But you’re a girl, so you can’t. You shall marry some guy, not that there are any worth marrying. Why just the today I saw the son of that family I cannot remember for the life of me, doing something horrendous! I think it would be better for you to stay away from any and all men.” Anthony paused, realizing that he was - or is soon going to be - one of those men. “Except for me and Papa, of course.”

She merely looked at him in amusement. “Pish posh.” his twin huffed, eyes glinting in the sunlight. “I’m not going to exchange my ambitions for some mere man. You shall see Tony, I will have that watch. Now come on!” she dropped his hand and gathered her skirts, ducking and maneuvering between the throng of people. Anthony felt a tinge of panic, seeing his sister slowly becoming engulfed by the crowd. 

“Sister wait!” he started to chase after her. He saw the blue tail-end of her skirt when someone bumped into him. He whirled around to complain to whoever it was; however, he seemed to have miscalculated the strength of his spin and tripped, landing on his bottom. “Ow, hey watch it!” he shouted at the people who accidentally kicked him, not noticing his figure on the ground.

Anthony hissed as he dusted his pants. He examined the palm of his hand and noticed scratches from when he landed too roughly on the floor. There were spots of red slowly making its way down his hand, along with drops of water.

Oh. He was crying. 

“Where are you?” his voice warbled. “Sister…”

Has she left him, truly? Surely not. His twin is many things but never cruel. She was tenacious, smart, and…

“Tony! I let you out of my sight for a second and - goodness!” She ran over and knelt in front of him, glaring at the people who would come too close. They parted for her, giving them a wide berth. “Here, take my handkerchief. We should get home and wash your hands. We don’t want it to be infected. And your clothes are a mess, Mama is going to have a fit. Come now,”

“But your book?” he sniffed.

“Eh, I can get it some other time.” she smiled and patted his cheeks. “Don’t cry now, sister’s got you.”

...kind. She was kind.  

iii. reckless just enough

Anthony was sulking. Not that he’d let anyone know. Papa had gotten angry with him. It wasn’t even a big thing. He simply...borrowed his watch to look at it. Anthony thought maybe he could figure out what made his twin so interested in it. It was a plain thing, nothing special maybe besides the monogram. He didn’t mean to drop it from the stairs. He really didn’t. He heard his name being called for lunch and he jolted.

He got a dressing down from Papa with his siblings present; Benedict and Colin in particular snickering at his plight. It was embarrassing. As soon as Papa dismissed him, he ran for his room, ignoring the calls of his twin. 

Right now he was hidden beneath the curtains and behind his bookshelf. Did Papa really have to scold him at the lunch table? Anthony buried his face between his hands. 

“You didn’t eat.”

Anthony banged his head on the wall when he looked up too fast.

“Are you okay?” his twin asked him, smiling amusedly. She carried with her a plate with bread, cheese, ham and a slice of blueberry pie. 

“Don’t laugh at me.”

“I’m not.”

“You’re smiling.”

“Laughing and smiling are worlds apart, Tony.” she shook her head and sat beside him, nudging him insistently until they were shoulder to shoulder. She slid the plate from her lap to his. “Eat.”

Anthony looked at her blankly. “Are you so distraught that you cannot eat? Do you want me to hand feed you like a child?” She made a motion as if she was going to grab the plate but Anthony shooed her hands away.

“I’m perfectly capable, thank you.” he stuffed a piece of bread in his mouth. “How’d you find me anyway?”

“Please swallow before you talk.” she said. “And, this is your room Tony. I’m simply using common sense.”

“Oh.”

“Yes.”

Anthony picked up the ham and cheese and continued eating. For a moment, they just sat there in comfortable silence.

“It’s unfair.” Anthony said, breaking the silence. 

“What is?”

“Papa.”

“How come?”

“He was way too angry. I didn’t mean to drop his watch! And it wasn’t even broken. If it was, he could’ve repaired it easily.” he pouted.

“You could’ve also just asked him to look at it. You know, in his room. Where you can’t drop it from a height and possibly damage it.” she replied with a bit of sarcasm.

“Fine, yes, I could have.” he conceded. “I just don’t know why he was so angry.”

“It’s important to him.”

“It’s just a watch.” Anthony rebutted, pouting. His twin gave him a look that he knew meant “you look adorable but also stupid.”

“Nah.”

“No?”

“Nope.” she answered. “For one, it’s an heirloom. Heirloom is defined as -”

“I know what it means.” Anthony waved his hand. “Do go on.”

She gave him a faintly annoyed look which merely made him smirk. “I shall, and not because you told me to.” she cleared her throat. “The watch being an heirloom is just its value as a thing. There’s also the sentimental value. The memories and emotions attached to the watch. For Papa, he treasures it because it - probably - reminds him of grandfather and grandmother. Grandfather especially. Because he was the one to give the Papa the rights and responsibility for our family.”

“Is that why?”

“Why what?”

“I wanted to know what makes it so special for you.” Anthony shrugged. “You always talk about it, about getting the watch when we become older. I didn’t see the big deal. Is that why it’s so important to you too?”

“Yes, quite.” she answered. “I want to take care of our family, Tony. I know I can, I just do. I don’t want me to just be a wife. I’m meant for greater things. Also,” she grinned at him. “I want it so I could count down the seconds until I see you again.” 

Anthony fake gagged, pretending to chuck the bread and cheese onto his twins’ lap. His twin scrambled away far from him and yelped. “You are disgusting! Mama! Anthony ruined the new dress that we just got!”

“I did not!”

“You were about to!”

iv. i was never attention’s sweet center

It was just a stupid, off-hand comment from Benedict. Anthony knew his brother meant no harm but still, the comment hurt.

“Maybe she truly should have your title, brother.”

Anthony was no stranger to her loud and obvious wanting to inherit the head of the house. In fact, he supported his twin. If Papa permitted it, he would gladly concede to you. However, it was unspoken between the twins the knowledge that Papa would never agree to such a thing; no matter how much he loved his eldest daughter. 

Anthony was no stranger to her excellence either. While the both of them worked hard to set an example for their younger siblings. He always thought she was great at everything a girl should be and more. Though the ‘more’ part would never reach the ears of their mother or anybody else. Nobody should know that Anthony taught her how to sucker punch anybody that vexed her except maybe Benedict and Colin...also Eloise. That girl was far too curious and also far too attached to Benedict. Anthony thinks in the privacy of his mind that if she were a boy, there would be no quarrel that she’d get the title.

Other people also thought the same. Though they expressed it in a much less pleasant way, in words Anthony does not care for. They speak condescendingly. They speak of her gender with pity in their voices, their admiration twisted. They mention that her excellence should be toned down, that she should focus instead on things better suited to her. They speak of how inadequate Anthony is, how poor that a boy be overshadowed by a girl. They theorize how Anthony must hate her for taking all the spotlight. He hears all this, and she does too, seeing as they’re almost always attached at the hip. If it bothers her, she does not speak of it. 

They speak of lies. Anthony thinks that her abilities suit her as they are and that no matter how bright she shines, it would never be something to be upset over. He basked in her light. They are wrong for thinking that she’s taking a piece of his life away when in truth, she completes it. Best friends, twins, soulmates; he loves her and she loves him. Still, their words leave a mark.

So when Benedict said that albeit in a teasing manner, Anthony just ran away. As he got older, he found it the preferable way to escape his problems. If he could not run to her then he must run away. 

Anthony hugged himself as a strong breeze blew and made the unoccupied swing beside him rock.

“Tony.” And there she was. His twin was holding a book. She sat at the swing beside him. 

There was silence. The only thing he could hear were the wind, the scuffling of his feet, and the soft sound of her flipping the pages.

“Sister,” she did not look up from the book but she hummed, signifying that he was heard. “Why did you come out here? It’s better to read inside, surely.”

“You’re upset. Of course I would come.” she said matter-of-factly.

“Did Ben tattle?”

“Ben? Tattle? His mouth is tighter than a woman’s corset when it comes to secrets.” she laughed lightly. “Surely you know better than that.”

“Yeah, I do.” he smiled. Since they were little, even if they were distances apart, both of them would always know - or at least had an inkling of - what the other was feeling. During their early years they chalked it up to magic but now they both just conceded it as a twin thing. “Actually, I don’t. Know better, I mean. Everybody seems to think so. Am I inadequate, sister? Dumb perhaps? I feel like I cannot do anything right sometimes! Compared to you I - “

His twin laid a hand on his shoulder. “Tony.” her brows were drawn and her lips pursed. “First of all, there is no comparison brother. I am me and you are your wonderful self. We are both excellent, please do not doubt yourself of that no matter what anyone says. And I know they say a lot. I’m just so used to tuning them out that I never considered that you might not do the same. I’m sorry.”

She stood up and drew him into a hug. Anthony’s arms stayed limp at his side. “People will flap their mouths because that’s what they do; say their opinions even though it’s unwelcome. If we tried to stop every single one of them, why I believe it’ll take all our lifetime and more!” she chuckled. “We cannot change them so we must change how much we’ll let their words affect us. Their words don’t matter at all! If I could, then I would shove those words back up their mouth and let them swallow it. Which I don’t know how to do. D’you suppose punching them would work just as well?” Anthony laughed wetly at her quip. It would work but it would also involve somebody calling Mama and Papa for her ‘inappropriate behavior’.

“What I know is this.” she grasped his shoulders and held them so she could stare at him in the eyes. Anthony met her determined gaze head-on. “You’re good enough Tony. Hell, you’re excellent.”

Anthony sobbed and quickly drew her into a fierce hug, his tears surely wetting her dress but he knew she didn't mind. “That is as sure as the sun that rises in the east. As sure as our family’s love, and ours for each other.”

v. bring back the fire in her eyes

It started with a cold. She had stayed up too long outside and now she’s bed-ridden. Anthony crossed his arms at the corner of the room as his younger siblings ran around. In his opinion there was too much ruckus for her to properly rest. However, Mama brought it up earlier and his twin just waved her concern away, stating that some liveliness will do her good. And who was Anthony to go against the wishes of his dear sister? It doesn’t mean that he has to like it though.

“No you’re the troll!” Eloise insisted.

“I was the troll last round!” Colin argued back.

“Now, now,” Benedict placated them both, then he glanced at Anthony in a way that promised mischief. “Why don’t we let Anthony be the troll then? He certainly looks the part with how grouchy he is.”

Daphne giggled. “And how he’s guarding his corner.”

“And how horrendous his face looks!” added Eloise. 

Now he’s had enough. “You all look far too happy for someone who’s going to be troll food soon.”

“Troll wuh - AAH!” Eloise screamed as Anthony lunged at her. She took off with a sprint and soon the other Bridgertons followed as well, laughing boisterously. “Noo, Ben save me!”

“This is survival of the fittest -”

“Survival of the fittest your face!”

“Ehem.” Suddenly all motion stopped. Colin face-planted on the floor, caught by his momentum. All eyes went to the door where Violet Bridgerton stood along with a maid. She had a smile on her face coupled with a vaguely exasperated expression. “I’m glad you’re having fun but please take you playing outside. I need to tend to your sick sister.”

Various moans and complaints filled the room but only with a raise of their Mama’s brow, they filed outside the room, murmuring farewells and well wishes to the sole occupant of the bed. All except one. Anthony remained rooted at the side of his sister’s bed.

“Anthony, please.” Violet gently said. A complaint was on the tip of his tongue when a hand laid on his bicep. He looked at his sister, looking frail among the covers but she merely smiled and shook her head.

“I’ll be fine Tony.” she said. “Go and check that our siblings haven’t set the house ablaze or anything.”

For a moment, both of them just stared at each other. A silent conversation passing between them both. Anthony sighed. “Get well.” he bent over to press a kiss to her forehead. “I’m not sure I alone will be enough to stop them from doing that.”

She laughed. “You will be.”

vi. sometimes life just slips

It was only supposed to be a cold. A cold. 

Someone almost barreled through Anthony as he, Benedict, Colin came through the door. “Whoa!” he exclaimed as the maid said a rushed apology. Everyone in the house seemed to be in a mad dash. He exchanged looks with his brothers, who were as clueless as he.

“Anthony!” came the panicked voice of Eloise. He held her shoulders and looked over her for any harm of some sort that caused her to panic.

“What’s wrong?” he asked. Anthony was surprised to see her looking up at him with teary eyes. Eloise is looking at him like how she used to when she was much littler, pleading to Anthony. Believing with all her might that her older brother will make everything okay. He looked behind her to Daphne who was pursing her lips.

“Oh God, is someone dead?” Colin quipped, then promptly made a punched-out  noise as Benedict elbowed him.

“Sister, she - “

“She’s dead?!” Colin cried.

“No!” Daphne growled, irritated. “She’s just...in pain. Mama and Papa sent for doctors.”

“Goodness, how serious is this cold? - Anthony, wait!”

Anthony didn’t hear Benedict’s call. How could he over the thumping of his racing heartbeat? He ran upstairs like the devil was on his tail, and even then he felt like he was too slow. He paused at her door, psyching himself to open it. If he went in, what would he see? He raised his trembling hands, the complaints of his siblings nothing but a faint echo.

The doors burst open and out came two elderly men and one woman. The siblings crowded around them. Anthony could only hear snippets as he zeroed in on you. Mama was kneeling beside his twin’s bed, holding her daughter’s hand tight to her chest.

“The young miss will be fine -”

“We expect her fever to break -”

“Dear.” Anthony jumped, startled. The woman accompanying the doctors addressed him. “Are you okay?”

“My - my twin sister, will she be alright?”

“Twin, huh. That’s why you’re so distraught. Well all of you are but you in particular,” she shook her head and smiled. “Your sister is strong. She will be fine. You can go in. I’m sure she’ll be glad for your company.”

She need not say it twice. Anthony ran into the room.

“Sister.”

“Tony.”

He felt like he could breathe again.

vii. rewrite an ending or two

“Are you sure you don’t want to get up here? We shared a bed when we were little. And when we grew, sometimes.” she paused, thinking about her statement. “Often.” his twin amended.

Anthony hummed when she stopped running her hands through his hair. “No.”

“The ground is cold, Tony. You might get sick.”

“How could I? You already took all the sick with you.” Anthony grumbled. “I’m fine, sister.”

“If you say so.”

“How about you?” Anthony asked. 

“Hmm?” she smiled. Facing down and in the darkness, Anthony couldn’t have seen it but he felt it. “I believe I will be.”

viii. she is gone, but she used to be mine

 It was a miserable day in spring when the eldest Bridgerton was buried.

ix. most days i don’t recognize me 

“She…” Anthony clenched his jaw.

“Are you ever going to finish that sentence?” Siena asked, smiling until she noticed how tense he was. She reached out to touch his arm, inquiring, “My lord, are you alright?”

Anthony sniffed and quickly stood up, hastily picking up his clothes. “Yes, fine.” he answered, hopping on one foot to put his shoes on. “I’m fine. I’m fine.”

“Where are you off to in such a hurry?” Siena asked. Anthony barely spared a glance at her, pausing shortly halfway out the door. He checked his watch, eyes glazing over for a moment.

“I need - I’m needed. At home.” With that, he briskly walked outside and into his carriage. It was today. He must’ve forgotten. How could he have forgotten? But he also ‘forgot’ the other years. The grief consumed him on this particular day. It was always a sore reminder that he was missing his other half. So instead of going to her grave, he went drinking. Instead of spending the day with her in his mind, he spent it with his cock inside somebody. Anthony spent so much time forgetting but now it’s as if her ghost had come to haunt him. Every memory had come rushing back, especially the day she died.

He remembered the night before. The doctors had told them she would be better. She told him she would be better. But he needed to stay close to her. Anthony fell asleep with her hand in his hair. Then he woke up to her eyes open but her breath was gone. He had never screamed so loud in his life.

Anthony remembered their parents barging into the room, Mama taking a step back looking as if she was seconds away from fainting. Then she saw her son on the floor and immediately enveloped him in her arms. He woke up in a bed sometime during the night. He woke up convinced it was all a dream but that promptly shattered when all his siblings (all except one) filed into the room in their sleepwear. Their eyes were swollen and wet. And it stayed that way until her funeral, and even some more after that.

The carriage stopped. Anthony got out and stopped at the gate. He knew Mama held some kind of family gathering during this day. What they did in the gathering, he had no idea. He never stayed long enough to attend. But today was different, somehow. 

He padded softly into the drawing room. A quick glance noted him of all his siblings’ presence. Francesca was playing a familiar tune. Colin was singing in a low tone. Benedict, Eloise, and Daphne were all sitting on one couch, leaning against each other. The youngest ones sat on the floor, trying to follow the lyrics Colin sang. Mama was sewing. The melancholy vibe was replaced with a startled one. Francesca stopped playing and Colin stopped singing. Mama dropped what she was holding and walked towards him, arms open.

Anthony crumbled. “Mama -”

x. for the girl that i knew

“Mama what do you think about love?” It was indeed a bleak day in spring. Everybody had left after the service but Anthony chose to stay, lingering.

“Anthony I -” Violet began.

“Why does it hurt so much?” he whirled around, uncaring as tears and snot fell messily down his tired face. “I feel as if someone carved an unfillable hole inside me. Like every breath I take is not right. Half of me is buried six feet underground, mama. How can I bear it?”

Anthony curled into himself as Mama enveloped him into her arms. “One day at a time, dearest. You have us still.” she whispered. “One day at a time.”

[fin.]

[animeyanderelover]

Wooow! Finished all available seasons from Attack On Titan and it’s such a great Anime. The character development is more than just outstanding and I can’t wait until the Final season is being aired in my country! But for now let’s start with the basic Hc’s!

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, stalking, clinginess, delusions, paranoia, overprotectiveness, manipulation, sabotage, strict Yandere, mentions of kidnapping, death, torturing

Yandere Attack On Titan Hc’s

Eren Yeager

👊A trait that every character in Attack On Titan has is overprotective. He lost his mother and more comrades than he can count and won’t let anything harm his darling. One hell of an obsessive one who will bombard the s/o with questions about their life and interests. He’ll definitely steal a few of his darling’s things and will treasure them. He’s shown great character development and so I would say also the aware type who knows that such feelings are unhealthy. But due to trying desperately to justify his behavior he’ll have some delusional mood swings from time to time. I can see him even as the manipulative type who will pretend to just have an innocent crush on you and fool everyone when in reality it’s so much more.

👊Also the lovestruck, desperate and clingy type. He sees his darling as a gift from whoever lives up there in heaven and will probably worship the ground his s/o walks on. Poor boy went through a lot in only a few months since joining the scouts so it’s no wonder that he just really wants to hold and kiss his darling, showing them that they own his heart. He won’t leave his s/o’s side if he can because apparently even in the walls there is danger and he also doesn’t want anyone flirting with his darling.

👊Eren doesn’t have the best temper. But he’ll try to hold on just for his darling. Remember that the key word here is that he tries. He doesn’t have anything against it when Mikasa or Armin talk with his darling and can also hold on for a bit when it comes to his other friends, only exception being Jean on whom he keeps a sharp eye. But with other people he’s rather impatient, especially if they get too close to his darling. Will most likely start yelling and cursing at the person then and there, not caring that he makes a scene.

👊Eren is really impulsive, but he joined the scouts to protect mankind so he’ll feel very conflicted about that. I think he won’t kill. He most likely just starts having a fight with them. But sometimes his temper might get the best out of him and then he loses it, but for that to happen the person must have really pushed him over his limits. But he has to be smart about killing or else he’ll get in troubles. Might try to lure the person somewhere secure to finish them off in his Titan form and making sure that the body will never be found again.

👊He’s most of the time with you and has to believe in himself that he can protect you and also trusts Mikasa and Armin enough to keep you safe. But as soon as danger comes anywhere near you he’ll immediately start searching for you to protect you, especially if Titan’s are in the wall. After that he’ll lock you somewhere safe and sound up even if he managed to protect you and nothing happened to you. No one can blame him for being a bit paranoid.

👊Eren just really wants you safe and that’s perfectly understandable. He tries to show you that he can protect you, especially if you should ever witness him in Titan form where he wants to prove to you that he has control. He just really wants you to love him and appreciate him.

Mikasa Ackerman

🧣Mikasa is the overprotective and possessive Yandere, but only in the best ways possible. She lost her parents, her foster parents and so many more people so no wonder that she’s so scared over her darling’s safety and wants to keep them by her side for all time. Even though she might look cold on the outside, she’s an incredibly caring one on the inside and will often tell her darling how beautiful they are and how much she loves them.

🧣Also a stalker and obsessive one. She of course prefers to be with her darling, but she accepts it if her s/o wants some private time alone and will leave them be. She tries at least, but in the end she decides to rather watch from a safe distance so she can step in as soon as danger encounters her darling. Since she’s a stalker she’ll see a lot from what her darling is doing and will grab on every piece of information she can get of them like her life depends on it. Might even steal a few things from them here and there. The aware one who knows that she shouldn’t do that, but the world is a cruel place.

🧣Mikasa is perfectly fine with you talking to others. I can see her as someone who knows that she’s good looking and that everyone would love to be in her darling’s place. She also trusts her darling greatly. The only times when she gets jealous is when the other person gets a bit too comfortable with the s/o.

🧣She’s in comparison to Eren much more calmer. But she can get hella brutal if a person she loves is in danger and will take things in her hands quickly. She can be very reasonable and Mikasa is very intimidating if she wants to be. To get her mad a person has to threaten or hurt her darling. But she’s smart and will make a plan on how to kill that person without arousing any suspicions.

🧣Her darling’s happiness is important to her and since she’s almost all the time watching I think she won’t resort to kidnapping. That however changes the moment someone possesses a threat to you. As soon as she hears that her s/o is in danger she’ll instantly defend you and after she took care of the threat she’ll start checking if you’re hurt. After such incidents she’ll become more protective and will stick closer to her darling’s side.

🧣Mikasa is my favorite Yandere in here. She really tries to not scare you away with her partially unhealthy feelings and accepts the fact that you have other people in your life as well. She does know that you’re a grownup, but I can see her as someone who will baby you as often as she can and who will always find excuses to spend time with you.

Armin Arlert

🐚Armin is a wonderful mix of delusional, yet aware. He’s got some brain and actually knows that his feelings aren’t normal, but he just sees his darling as a god/goddess walking on earth and will just start thinking of it as really strong romantic feelings. As everyone else in here overprotective. He saw the people in Shinganshina die, he lost his grandfather and he witnessed how Eren got eaten from a Titan and has every reason to be overprotective over his darling. Also an incredibly clingy one who needs to be near you all the time.

🐚Lovestruck and a worshipper. This guy just wants to proof his worth to his s/o and would do everything what they tell him. I think he might even go as far as not caring if his s/o uses him as long as they accept him which makes him a really desperate one as well. Such a desperate one for his s/o’s love and approval. If you don’t acknowledge him he’ll feel absolutely unworthy. He’s smart and might be a very potential manipulative type, but I think he would try to not use that on his darling often. But there are certain trigger events where he’ll let his genius side shine through in a bad way. That happens when his darling tries to leave him, ignores him for someone else or is in danger.

🐚Armin doesn’t really think of himself that great and is often highly insecure about himself so if he feels jealous he wouldn’t have the courage to step in. Instead his self insecurity just increases. But he jumps over his shadow when he sees someone making you uncomfortable.

🐚Here this boy let’s his manipulative side shine through because he doesn’t want to kill people. Instead he uses his brain to somehow start spreading rumors about the person which will make other people more suspicious around said person.

🐚He would never kidnap his darling. When they’re in danger he’ll talk them into going somewhere save so he can make sure that they aren’t harmed. He often entrusts Eren and Mikasa with the protection of his darling if he can’t do it himself or feels like he won’t be able to do it alone.

🐚You might feel actually bad for Armin because of the fact how submissive he is to you and how dependent he is for your love. But I also believe that if someone pushes his buttons the wrong way he might turn into a little devil who will use manipulations with the reasoning to keep you save.

Jean Kirschstein

🐴Jean is a stalker and the aware type. He’s ashamed of his rather abnormal feelings for his darling and I can also see him as someone who thinks he is way out of their league to even be near them. So he just watches and follows his darling everywhere. Obsessive because he just found an angel walking on this rotten world so it’s only natural that he wants to know everything about them. A lovestruck one who thinks of his darling as an angel from heaven. He fell in love at first sight.

🐴A manipulative one, but in a different sense. He’ll try to befriend his s/o’s friends and will try to come in contact with his darling’s parents, trying to leave a really good impression on them so that they’ll introduce him to his s/o. Since he’s ashamed of his behavior he needs a lot of reassurance, making him a desperate one as well. He’s also the overprotective one since basically anytime something could happen to you.

🐴Jean gets quickly jealous, but since he’s ashamed of his feelings and doesn’t think he has the right to interrupt his darling he’ll just watch from the distance. If he gets courageous he might suddenly step in, especially if the other person gets touchy with the s/o. Then he’ll become a hothead.

🐴Jean needs a good reason to kill a person, but if the situation calls for it he’s ready to take someone’s life it means protecting his darling. He would only do that if someone plans to harm his darling.

🐴He watches most of the time and respects his s/o’s wishes, but if they get harmed and he couldn’t do anything, he might become slightly more paranoid and will beg them to stay in their house and will also try to talk parents and friends into thinking like him.

🐴Jean is only focused on your happiness and well-being and would never dream of hurting you. But it can be from time to time creepy when he just follows you around and watches you for hours. But he’ll make sure to never get caught by you or someone else.

Sasha Blouse

🍖Sasha is the clingy and lovestruck Yandere. She just adores her darling with everything she’s got and never, never leaves their side. She’ll always follow them around and can’t stop talking about them. Overprotective for obvious reasons.

🍖Also the delusional one who sees her darling as something above normal humans. They’re the only thing she loves more than food and that has to say something.

🍖Easily jealous and pretty obvious with it. Her whole face will scream jealous as soon as someone starts talking to them and she’s the type who keeps interrupting whatever interaction the both of you have and will annoy the other person until they’ve had enough and leave her s/o alone.

🍖I can’t imagine her as someone who would kill people. She would try to give them a hard time by annoying them and even make sure to somehow make them mess up their tasks so this person will get in trouble. Sasha would also try to somehow make the person humiliate themself in front of a large crowd. The type to slip here and there some rumors in, not too bad, but enough to make people talk about it. Embarrassing stories do that everyone will start giggling when seeing the person again. Also the type to report anything to their superiors if she sees how the person does something wrong.

🍖She’s all over her darling all the time so she won’t kidnap them and would never even think of it. If danger emerges she’ll just be even more clingy towards you to the point where it will be suffocating for the s/o.

🍖I think together with Mikasa one of my favs. She’s so open with showing her feelings for you and just wants the both of you to be a happy couple. She would never hurt you and is even ready to share her food with you. But only with you!

Annie Leonhardt

💗Annie is the aware and manipulative type. She’s very smart and knows that she isn’t supposed to feel this way. She’s good in acting when we think about that at first no one suspected her to be an enemy and she’ll definitely manipulate her darling into staying with her and cutting all of their social ties to dedicate all their time to her.

💗She’s overprotective and possessive over her darling. She’s seen bad stuff and has been trained to kill without remorse and she doesn’t want this world to mess her darling up as well so she’ll protect them from any harm possible. The world didn’t give her much so there’s no chance she’ll ever let her s/o leave her. She rarely shows her feelings, but I believe that she might show her darling her softer side. But she can still be very rough on them if she needs too.

💗Annie doesn’t show much emotions and has good self control over herself so she won’t act impulsively on this. But she does get jealous fast and she is pretty intimidating and will send the subject of her jealousy a cold glare. If the person doesn’t get her message she might step in and with her partially cruel humor scare that person away.

💗She was trained to kill without remorse and shows most of the times little to no regret in it. She is smart with it so that no one will suspect her as the killer. She kills when someone takes a liking to the s/o or when the s/o takes a liking towards someone and when someone disrespects or even hurts her darling.

💗She’ll rely most of the times on manipulation to get her darling stay willingly out of danger. If they refuse she might become more cruel with her words to them and will talk them into thinking that they’re weak if she has to. She only wants their best, doesn’t she? So being a bit more mean is worth it. And she will be able to get you to do what she told you to.

💗Her ways of doing things aren’t always right and deep down Annie knows that. Talking you into feeling worthless and forcing you into spending your time only with her is very selfish from her. But she just wants to protect you from the world and all it’s dangers. You’re also one of the very few persons she’ll ever be more tender to.

Erwin Smith

🎖Erwin is a manipulative Yandere. He might look at first like the perfect boyfriend, but it’s all an act to make his darling fall for him. He is incredibly charming and it won’t be hard for him to wrap his s/o around his finger. Overprotective because he lost his father and saw more than hundreds of soldiers dying.

🎖With time he’ll also become more and more the possessive one and at one point he might even try to make you break up contact with your family. But here comes the aware trait in where he’ll suddenly stop and remembering that this isn’t right. It’s a constant game of tug of war between his desire to keep the s/o for himself and letting them see family and friends because everything else would be wrong.

🎖He can keep his composure even under difficult circumstances. But it probably won’t even be necessary because he has some power and the knowledge that he and the s/o are together is most of the time already enough to make people stay away from them. If a person tries to talk to his darling a “friendly” warning is most of the time enough. Let’s not forget that he tells you convincing lies about the people you spend your time with which will cause you to avoid them.

🎖It won’t be necessary for him to kill someone when he can make their lifes a living hell since he is the commander of the scouts. He’ll spread bad rumors about that person which will eventually lead them to lose their job. Depending on how far someone angered him it will either end there or he’ll continue to ruin their life.

🎖If he’ll lock them up depends solely on him since he has a constant inner battle between his possessive side and more reasonable side. If he’s more possessive he’ll keep the s/o in the house even if there’s no sign of danger, if he’s in his more reasonable state he he’ll only does it when there is a threat for his darling. If his darling rejects his love or tries to leave him he’ll blackmail them to come willingly back and will keep them in his house for a shorter or longer time, it depends on how willing his s/o is.

🎖Erwin can be such a lovely boyfriend if he wants to be and nobody will ever suspect anything. That’s the problem here. No one would believe you if you told them how he really is. He has you tightly in his grip and you will always come back to him due to him threatening to spread rumors about your family out that might cost them their job. You need to play your cards carefully because this guy can turn from ‘perfect husband material’ to ‘possessive blackmailer’ in only the blink of an eye.

Hanji/Hange Zoë

🔬Hanji is overprotective and obsessive. They have seen many people die right in front of their eyes and that bounds them to be overprotective over their darling. They already display a huge interest for Titans and a natural desire to learn everything they don’t know. Imagine that ten times worse with the s/o. Hanji is absolutely the type to steal their things. At first only small things like spoons the darling used to eat with or garbage they threw away. But it will escalate further and further until Hanji has reached the level where they’ll steal toothbrushes, clothes and even start collecting their darling’s hair.

🔬Also the clingy type. Hanji is an absolute fan of PDA and Levi will probably scold them often for being so unprofessional in public. But Hanji doesn’t give a shit. Lovestruck, in their eyes her darling is perfect. Depending on whether her darling catches on on their rather obvious obsession they might become a stalker and start watching from a safe distance. Hanji is very intelligent and even though they’re very peculiar definitely can talk their darling into certain things, making them the manipulative type.

🔬Hanji shows very often very obviously their emotions and gets rather fastly jealous. I can see Hanji as someone who can be really scary and most people already think that they’re a bit crazy, but when they step in to interrupt their darling’s interaction with the other person they’ll creep them out with their odd and scary behavior and look on their face. The way they’re speaking adds even more creepiness to it.

🔬Hanji can go into full mad mode if triggered enough. They won’t kill persons. No, they’ll torture them first, separating their limbs from the body until they think the persons had been punished enough and then will kill them. That happens when someone insults their darling badly and disrespects them. Imagine what happens if someone goes as far as hurting Hanji’s s/o.

🔬Hanji can be very convincing and stubborn when it comes to certain things so they can somehow always find a way to make the darling stay out of dangerous places. But I can see them as someone who likes showing everyone who you belong to so as long as there’s no danger they won’t lock their darling up.

🔬Hanji will be honestly nothing, but sweet to you. But their obsession shines clearly through and they’re the type to ask you if they can get a few strands of your hair which will creep you out. But that’s not half as scary as seeing them torture those who didn’t treat you respectfully. No one wants to see a with blood covered Hanji holding those horrifying tools in their hands to torture a person with a crazed expression on their face.

Levi Ackerman

⚔️Levi is overprotective and possessive. He’s lost a lot of people. His mother, his uncle, his squad and countless others. So the moment he saw his darling? He didn’t plan to let them ever go. He’s a really strict and controlling one. He does appreciate it if his darling has a backbone, but he also expects them to know that he has the final word in everything and that they should submit to him. There are punishments given if his s/o doesn’t behave. Hopefully they learn through this. Obsessive, he takes his time to examine the s/o carefully to predict their actions better and to have a easier time to manipulate them since he has a bit of a silver tongue.

⚔️But at the same time he’s a desperate and on most of the time even a soft one. He never really got much love when he was a child. He watched his mother die and his uncle only taught him how to fight and left him alone after he had learned everything. So he does wishes that his darling loves him. And under all this proud and strict shell there is a soft spot which is only for you.

⚔️Levi carries a lot of anger inside of him, but is good in overplaying it. But it is rather easy to cross his lines and his possessiveness doesn’t help at all. It even worsens the situation and if his darling doesn’t break the interaction with the other person up when seeing Levi boiling with jealousy then they shouldn’t be surprised itf the other person suddenly gets kicked down by Levi and they get dragged back home by him. If the other person goes as far as flirting or touching you he’ll get more violent. If someone did touch you you’ll have to clean yourself up since Levi doesn’t want you to get filthy by someone else’s touch. And if you don’t want to wash yourself Levi has no problem in doing it himself. He’ll also mark after such events what’s rightfully his, at least he thinks so.

⚔️Levi needs to be careful to not let his rage and possessiveness get the best of him or else he’ll might slaughter a lot of people. He does have a higher position and will most likely give whoever made him pissed off a very, very hard life. If someone does go as far as trying to hurt his s/o or even trying to take them away from him he might just start attacking them the next time he sees them. But he’ll hold back and make a plan on how to kill them. If it’s a member of the scouts he might use the chance to somehow lead them into making a mistake so that they’ll get eaten by a Titan.

⚔️He hates taking his darling out of the house, his overprotectiveness and possessiveness are a horrible mix. He won’t kidnap his darling. It’s more like threatening them into coming willingly to him because he can be very scary if he wants to be. But I guess it also depends a bit on your position, meaning that he’ll handle this differently if you’re just an average citizen or a scout like him.

⚔️He has a huge soft side, but still be careful with him or else you’ll get punished. His punishments consists of locking you up without food for a few days or threatening you since despite his height he’s very scary. The problem with Levi is that most of the time you don’t know what’s going on in his head, you never know what he’s thinking. It might look to you on some days that he just wants to make your life a living hell, but that isn’t true. Levi just doesn’t really know how to act with these intense emotions. He really just wants you to love him, but chooses the wrong way to reach that goal. But give him time he’ll learn how to act better around you and more carefully.

[umbramatic]

Vaespar Lore Dump

@gay-werewolves inspired me, I'm going to do a lore dump about my special boi(/gurl), my fave OC and secondary sona, Vaespar. (READ BELOW)

The setting I invented that Vaespar is from is a fantasy setting that is both post-apocalyptic and post-human; 

in the near future, a goddess of a forgotten religion, The Midnight Lady, reawakens. She sees the state of the world, which has become even more fucked by cryptocurrency among other things, and is fucking pissed.

She promptly reintroduces magic to the world at an explosive rate, mutating all life on earth (except dogs, cats, and corvids, whom she favors) into strange new forms via a magical blight known as the Raven Plauge, and causing the collapse of civilization. 

(This also wakes up the other gods in the Midnight Lady's pantheon, who advise her that there were probably better ways but are too late to actually stop or undo her actions. They're important later.)

Most humans end up mutating into funky fantasy races, but the worst of the worst get reduced into some kind of shadow sludge. From this sludge the demons were born.

Demons in this setting are basically like the Venom symbiote. They're ineffectual small shadow blobs on their own, but they bond with other beings and give them enhanced magical power in exchange for sustenance. Now, most demons don't require much in the way of sustenance (though what that is tbd) and aren't particularly harmful, but a rarer, more powerful, and more malignant strain exists, known as archdemons. 

Archdemons are much more powerful than normal demons and use their hosts to devour the bodies and souls of others, turning into darkness to engulf and digest them. And one of them manages to find the last human.

Now exactly how one human survived has been lost to time to the point not even the gods know, but this human was once a great hero before being tempted into bonding with an archdemon. And it turns out an archdemon with a human host is EXTREMELY powerful. 

Eventually over time the archdemon and human basically merge into one being. And that being... Is Vaespar.

He's a cruel, prideful, sorcerous evil overlord type who has ruined countless lives and devoured countless people. He's immortal and nigh unkillable at this point, so many have attempted to seal him away, but he always breaks free eventually. 

His magical powers are incredibly strong, and include some degree of shapechanging ability. However, he can only perfectly *mimic* another being if it's one he's eaten.

He CAN turn into a floating face, or a snake man, or, most importantly, trans his gender. (He's genderfluid babyeeeeee! he/him or she/her pronouns, though leans former, as I've been using)

And when he absorbs enough magical power at once he transforms into his monstrous Ascending Form, which is powerful enough to devour and kill the local gods.

And he did in fact do that once!

See, Vaespar's goal in life is to transform into an eldritch god dragon and rule the world, and he attempted to devour a god (exact identity of said god pending) in order to attain that. But he just kind of... Hemorrhages all the power. And also in this setting killing a god has DRASTIC CONSEQUENCES based around whatever the god was a god of, so it fucks things up big time. HOW is again undecided but.

Vaespar eventually learns in order to get the results he wants and have them stick he needs to devour one particular god specifically: Gliar, the god of light, who's sort of a nega-him. This is around when he gets his signature outfit - it matches Gliar's and is Vaespar's most petty way of messing with him.

He does try to get to Gliar in more significant ways, however. 

See, there's this forest spirit goddess lady (name TBD) who is good friends with Gliar. She also has a girlfriend who's a flower goddess named Iuzurva. Vaespar ends up seducing and magically corrupting her to give himself more advantage against the gods and have someone to try and get him to Gliar. 

Gliar is despondent and terrified and goes into hiding. Iuzurva is even MORE despondent and falls into a despair that makes her more malevolent and eldritch. 

(Also said goddess being corrupted does a fucky to the world's forests, making them even more dangerous places. Not as bad as if Vaespar has killed/eaten her but. She has remained an ally of Vaespar ever since)

There is one person who got oh so close to defeating Vaespar. And that was Evithyan Zerdali. 

She was a powerful mage (of one of the more humanlike post-human species) and also a good friend of Gliar, who tried to figure out the secret to killing Vaespar. She was very close to uncovering the secret to killing Vaespar before he ultimately devoured her during a major confrontation, but she got him sealed away again in the process. After her death Gliar became even more reclusive and even started spreading rumors he was a false god. 

It is said something of Evithyan still lingers, however...

Vaespar is assisted in his endeavors by various minions and henchmen, and in the "present day" of the story is most closely aided by Loveland, a member of a race of frog people, who resembles a firebelly toad (and thus is Vaespar's literal toady). While not particularly malevolent in and of himself, he is fiercely loyal to Vaespar and the two work closely together. 

Vaespar also has the power to access other universes, though he hasn't bothered conquering any... Yet. (This is how I explain interactions with characters and species that wouldn't exist in his home universe.) Some notable jaunts:

-Vaespar once visited a CERTAIN Pokemon universe briefly, and even had a child named Seigbert there. However he has yet to engage in Trainer shenanigans in any other Pokemon universes. Yet...

-He has also become a Summoner in the world of Fire Emblem Heroes, and commands a cabal of fucked up and evil heroes, and had a child with one of them too, Arvis. Their daughter is named Igol. 

-He has also ventured into the world of Final Fantasy XIV, having transformed into a Viera, and is doing Typical WOL Shenanigans there

Other Vaespar Facts: 

-He has ink blot like markings on his body that reflect his nature as a human/demon fusion, though the exact pattern changes often.

-His height depends on his current form but defaults to 7'6 

-In addition to being genderfluid he's pansexual and autistic

-He does still consume normal food and drink, but the urge to consume those is different from his urge to consume other beings (though can overlap if he transforms someone into food)

-His hood has a long "tail" to it, very important

-Those things on his robe are tassels, not cravats, including the one on his neck

-Here's a chart of how his major forms all link to each other

-And a slightly outdated size chart of them next to my other sonas

And finally, because people asked: Even though he's partially a sona I don't mind if people say he's hot. I'm FLATTERED, he's meant to be. (This goes for my other sonas too.)

I tried to keep the images in this thread limited to my own art, but plenty of other people have drawn Vaespar, either because I paid them to or of their own volition. You can see them here! (remove spaces): https :// toyhou.se/ 5157929 .vaespar

This was really fun to write up and do! Feel free to ask any questions. Maybe I'll do my main sona Umbra next.

[yanderenightmare]

HEADCANNONS

KINKS & FETISHES     part two

goodiebage WARNINGS: yandere, abuse, noncon/dubcon, arson, threats, Stockholm Syndrome, mind control, narcissism, sadism, slavery, torture

PART ONE 

YANDERE ! KATSUKI BAKUGO - KACHAN POWERPLAY

It’s been said before and it will continue to be preached until the end of time: Katsuki is a full-blown narcissist, and he loves making his dominance excruciatingly clear. He rarely uses any form of bondage, enjoying being the sole reason his darling stays in her place. Hand around her throat, squeezing that weak windpipe, forcing those precious sweet squeaks from her throat, feeling them simmer against his palm. Capturing her tiny delicate wrists between his fingers, squishing until bones pop and she swears in spluttering whines that he’s snapped and broken something. His knee digging into the doughy flesh of her thigh, causing sharp tickling pain to shoot straight through her flesh, all in an exaggerated effort at keeping her beneath him.

He’ll be degrading, especially in a suggestive way. His entire bone-crushing weight pressing down into her, constricting and controlling what air gets to pass down to her lungs, while he knowingly asks her how good it feels when she begins to clamp down around the girth of his cock, feeling her warm wet walls convulse and spasm each time he pumps his sopping swollen tip into the spongey feel of her cervix. Teasing, taunting and mocking words flying along with spit through his grit teeth onto her face, as the tab of his thumb rubs tight circles onto the bead of her clit. Anything resembling self-control can be written off as a cruel joke, when they both know her entire composure is at his mercy. Reduced to simply stimuli and response at his fingers, her reactions on his beck and call.

YANDERE ! DABI - TODOROKI TOUYA BEGGING KINK

He wants to see her kneel, he wants to see her crawl, he wants to hold that perfect little face between his palms and make her shiver and quake at the feel of his warming hands, threatening to mar her soft and supple skin up until it’s nothing but tough purple leather like him, with no hope of healing. He wants to see her cry, he wants it loud as though her sobs could shatter glass, he wants it ugly as though no one could look at her and call her beautiful except for him. He wants all of it as his studded cockhead pokes at her inside, all the while where he pounds into her ruthlessly and savagely, hearing her feeble broken pleas tremor beneath the palm he’s placed wrapped deadly around her throat, fingers bending and plunging into her delicate neck.

Then he wants to show mercy, he wants to glide his lanky boney fingers through her soft hair, hush and coo at her to quit her sniveling and shaking. He’ll have her on his chest, listening to her mumble out sweet forms of gratitude and other soft-tinted apologies. Her lips admiring his piercings, laying worship on them as though praying at an altar. Finding utter unlocking blissful satisfaction, as though some war has been won, at the fact that she’ll never be able to leave him, because he’s made the idea of leaving him seem like death in her brittle mind, not because he would hunt her down, but because she cannot hope to live without him.

YANDERE ! SHIGARAKI TOMURA FOOT FETISH

Just look at them. So dainty and petite compared to his, so small compared to anything, fitting so perfectly in his hand, soft skin in contrast to his dry toughened and calloused hands. And so very sensitive and ticklish, both beneath the touch of his fingers and teeth and tongue and cock. Pink wriggling toes, curling and crinkling until they cramp as he bottoms-out inside her, just begging for him to bite them while he fucks her harder, unable to go anywhere with her ankles shackled together, the chain pulled over his head and resting at his neck with her precious feet made to hang off his shoulders, only able to pull him closer.

Tomura learned quickly when playing with his darling that a woman’s feet are a woman’s weakness, because as she begs him not to touch her, begs him to stay away, once he wraps his hand around her ankle and drags her back to where he wants her, thigh-high sock slowly being pulled off to reveal her legs and coming off at her pedicured toes, foot enclosed in his strong hands, making her bones pop in a much needed message, she’ll moan in a way parallel with how lude she’ll croak with his fat cock drilling into her.

YANDERE ! SHINSO HITOSHI BONDAGE KINK

Who would not find it cute? A little pussycat all knotted up in a ball of yarn, with no hope of escaping, all trapped and vulnerable and begging for Master’s help. Her fingers dancing in the air, wrists tightly locked together, under full understanding that they’re completely useless under the circumstances, having no purpose except for stroking his cock in those moments he’s come close enough, yet not having the courage to sink her claws into the tender squishy flesh of his length because he has her other delicate bits on full display, all for him to destroy if she is to give him the right motivation, if she gives him an excuse to punish her.

He can play nice if she plays along, if she expresses her gratitude on cue like he’s taught her, if she asks for permission, if she begs enough. Either way, she’s not getting out of his trap. Either way, he’ll have his way, which is all that’s important to him. He knows she’ll enjoy herself whether she wants to or not, he’ll see to it up close and personally. Whispering small commands in her ear when she decides to be difficult, telling her to focus, telling her to forget everything except for him and those hands of his and that tongue of his and those teeth of his and that fat veiny cock of his, playing with her, forcing her to see stars.

YANDERE ! TAKAMI KEIGO - HAWKS MARKING KINK

It’s a need, it’s a necessity, it’s an instinct more than a desire. He’ll be rigid and manic and swivel-eyed, unable to feel at all at ease or at peace with her skin being unadorned and healed and ridden of his teeth-marks and claw-marks and love-bites. They belong on her just as much as that angel-coated set of wings on her back. His name belongs carved into her chest with the handy use of one of his crimson feathers just as much as that feather belongs in the flock on his own back. They need to be ever present on her body or else he’s risking her forgetting who it is that she belongs too.

She doesn’t really need clothes. Keigo likes her ready for the taking at all times. Expensive clothing articles just go to waste if they fall prey to him having to rip them to shreds when removing them unceremoniously from her body, especially when she’s so adamant on resisting him. Besides, if she’s all covered up in silks and whatnot, how is his need to see himself on her skin expected to be satiated? And, she looks so cute trying and struggling to cover herself up, with only her hands and feathers to use in hiding herself from Keigo’s prying eyes.

YANDERE ! MIDORIYA IZUKU - DEKU DADDY-KINK

Whether it’s sparked by his need to help and protect his little darling from harm and the dangers of the world, or because his own father abandoned him as a child, he does not give it too much thought, despite his darling often times asking for an explanation when he has her bent over his knee, sharp slaps printed on the dome of her ass while she’s made to beg Daddy for forgiveness, her otherwise perfect milky skin now bruised with ugly purple and blues, further indicating Izuku’s ownership of her. Come to think of it, maybe it’s because the title inspires authority, something of which he demands all responsibility of.

She’s his little girl, his little baby, his little Bunny, in desperate dangerous need of Daddy’s firm hand to teach her right from wrong, to teach her proper manners and proper posture and how to properly bounce up and down the length of his cock. Manners including begging Daddy to let her cum, whereas posture is learned and achieved through lesson after lesson where they train in keeping her ass arched up when her head is buried face-down in the pillow, with Daddy’s cock skewering her from behind, her little ass earning a bright-red slap each time her posture fails, her little ditzy brain unable to take simple directions with all the blood pooling in her brain.

YANDERE ! CHISAKI KAI - OVERHAUL LINGERIE KINK

She looks so perfect clad in expensive customized lace-roses and patterned mesh. Straps connecting her garner-belt to her thigh-high socks, all decorated with rosery swirls and diamonds and pearls, the golden clasps acting as a thing to admire and a puzzle to solve before he can slide her out of her underwear. Bralette granting minimum support as he wants to see her mounds in their natural perfection, the invisibility of the mesh-fabric leaving little to the imagination with her nipples on full display. Teddies too are such a delicate and exquisite playful attire for him to dress her up in. Intricate and ornate patterns adorning the fabrics both of silk and satin and velvet and cotton and lace, two small buttons positioned at her entrance for easy access.

Way too short skirts to even come close to fulfilling their purpose of hiding her privates. With their fluffy taffeta and tulle propping the skirt up into a wet-dream fairy-tutu costume. Kimonos too are such a sweet soft form of unwrapping a present. Tendrils of ribbon tying into big splendid flamboyant bows all for him to tug and make fall apart to open what glory found inside the packaging. Ruffles adorning the sleeves and every other edge in cutesy doll-like fashion. Colors of pastel pinks and creams in stark contrast to his black suit-pants when he makes her take a seat on his knee.

YANDERE ! TODOROKI SHOTO AFTERCARE KINK

It’s more than a duty, it’s a pleasure as well, something to look forward to, something to cherish. To have her broken bruised sweat-slicked radiant body, shivering from the cold or feverish and delirious from the heat, all fallen into a feeble mess of tired aching limbs, and her so very preciously dumb blissed-out state of mind, with words incoherently mumbled and blubbered and hiccupped out into the air with no true goal inside her fried little head. Her eyes heavy-lidded and pupils opium-wide, unable to focus on anything with the rapturous frenzied-high that has shaken her body ablaze and rendered her all but a febrile mess.

She’s so cute with all her humanity having been broken, leaving her as a wild cotton-eyed bleating little lamb as he places her in the hot-tub, careful to join her so she not drown in her absentminded euphoria. It takes time to come down from the fever, her body involuntarily fallen prey to spasms and convulsions wreaking through to her toes as they crinkle under the pressure, with her voice outing small whimpering sighs and moans. Shoto’s right hand ghosting over those fresh red and blue and purple galaxies adorning her body, cooling the swelling skin down, calming the blood gushing out from popped veins as he whispers sweet soft-spoken comforting nothings into her ear, cooing and hushing at her to let him kiss everything better.