#excerptsfrommylife

[blogbatsinthebelfrylove]

4/6/24 1:52am

“When?”

Have you ever hit that point in your life that you realize it’s going to get worse before it gets better? That is, IF it ever gets better. That point where the only thing you know anymore is survival and you’re just not sure that you want to anymore? Realized you’re a failure in everything so what’s the point in “seeking attention” by attempting suicide. Because you know that you’ll just fail at that too and have to face the world and all the whispers. Realize that once you try to end it that you’ll be unsuccessful and constantly walk into silent rooms that were just filled with chatter. What happens when you finally hit that point? Are you fooling yourself by thinking it will actually get better? That’s what everyone says. “It gets better. It WILL get better.” I’ve been telling myself that for most of my life and there are fleeting moments when a normal, happy life doesn’t feel so unattainable. More often than not I find myself in a room full of people slipping into a fantasy of not having to face the next day and that days catastrophe that awaits. But then I realize that I’m just not that lucky. You see, IF I were to try again I’d just fail like the last 17 times. Each time with more damage and another piece of my soul lost…. They say “It gets better.” I’d just like to know when….

[comfortingsuggestion]

you don't know but withered plants can also look beautiful

[jgreyblog]

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~ j. grey

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[anotherangrygirl]

December 19, 2017

stop.

a red sign

a red light

red. yellow. green.

learn them, darling

and then read -

read

their fingers 

and their faces

and the way they talk.

[mylittletreasure]

I hate when people say feelings are temporary. How is that true? Can you justify? How can feelings be temporary when you really love someone who doesn't love you back? How can feelings be temporary when you can't let go? How can feelings be temporary when I still think about you? How can feelings be temporary when I still love you after you left? How can feelings be temporary when I will take you back 10 years from now? How in hell is feelings temporary when they never really go away.

Stuck-in-his-gaze- my feelings for him will be permanent.

[trixxiescircus-blog]

Love n things

“My first experience with real love didn’t come from a romantic situation it came from my best, my second mom (she hates it when I call her that), my accountability partner in this life. she was the first person who didn’t have to say it out loud but I knew she meant it she took me under her wing and stuck with me when I had nothing and no one. Shit she barely had anything and at the time was going through her own struggle but still was like nope nope nope you coming home with me. That was my first tour of duty at the home for wayward children. But it wasn’t   until my second tour of duty I really started to understand what I had in her, I had family I had a core something to bounce back on. Someone in my life that no matter what it was I could turn to her and she will put it in boxes and the boxes in their right places “

[sevrynth]

And so she burned her past, she watched the words that had hurt her for so long smolder under the dying flame. She finally felt as if she’d begun to unlock the shackles that had held her down

[forlifetilleternity]

“I am a dirty poem. I am made of careless words, of insincere feelings, of poor rhymes and of the sloppiest handwriting. I am a filthy kind of beauty, I am dirty poetry.” #poem #poetry #writes #lit #quotes #writing #poem #words #prose #spilledink #poetry #thoughts #spilled thoughts #literature #wordsnquotes #writers #love #life #submission #spilledpoetry #spilledthoughts #spilledink #writing #mypost #writings #inkspilled #writes #writers #excerptsofstories #excerptsfrommylife #quotes #quoteaboutlove #quotesaboutlife #lovequotes #spilledink #poetry #poem #Poems #power #love #life

[blogbatsinthebelfrylove]

9/10/23 2:27am

Never me…It’s never me…

I pick up my pieces and I rebuild what was broken Time and time again.

I get into what seems to be a healthy relationship and then when I let my guard down it’s not healthy anymore.

I start handing those pieces out again to fill in the pieces of them that is broken and when they are complete they find that I’m too broken…and they leave.

No one has ever reached out their hand to pull me out of the hole I dug myself into trying to save them.

They just take their complete pieces, look down on and talk to me with disgust and walk out.

Why am I not good enough for anyone to help me out of the dark?

And the more important question is…now that I recognize this, how do I not only find and put my pieces back together but also keep myself from giving them away again?

[marissa-bella]

Memories

I see your face in my mind, but I don’t remember it vividly anymore. I can’t picture every detail. I guess that’s what happens when you go from seeing someone every single day, to abruptly not at all. I remember why I stopped wanting to see it all the time. I remember how your eyes stopped wanting me the way I desperately wanted you towards the end. I remember how you stopped holding me close and eventually just let me go. But then, I remember how our hands fit so perfectly. I remember how your laugh became my music in my darkest times. I remember how you held me in those early nights and how you kissed me till I couldn’t breath. I remember loving you, and then hating you. And then both at once. 

I don’t know which is worse to remember.

[vivre-pour-maintenant]

Night after night, it always ended the same way -- hours wasted with thoughts of inadequacy, thoughts of folly. "I'm not done being single." Those words echoed in his mind over and over driving him to a state of lunacy. What he failed to realize was that she was nothing more than a female iteration of himself -- down to the dumb little things that only seemed to make them laugh. However, there was one crucial difference; she was one year younger -- one less year than he had to mature. Would he have been done "being single" a year ago? The answer was no. There was no point to dwelling on it any longer; they were both at different parts in their lives. Nothing could change that.

Excerpts from my Life

[blogbatsinthebelfrylove]

[blogbatsinthebelfrylove]

I Found peace burning in the hell I created; drowning in a sea of sins. Too drunk to give a shit and to fucked up to save myself. And what if I don’t even want to?

AJ blogbatsinthebelfrylove

[blogbatsinthebelfrylove]

Losing you was the thing I feared most. Losing you helped me find myself. Now that I’ve found myself, I don’t know what I was so afraid of losing all those years.

AJ blogbatsinthebelfrylove

[blogbatsinthebelfrylove]

For most people the nights are the hardest.

Going to sleep alone.

Sitting silently in the dark.

I don’t mind the nights much.

I’m great at nights actually.

Maybe that’s because I have my little friends to help me mask it.

For me, the mornings are the hardest.

At night you get to go to sleep.

When it gets to be too much... you can just go to sleep.

But in the morning, you wake up alone.

You look around at the empty room

At the empty side of the bed that she used to sleep on.

You have to look at it.

And every morning that you wake up is just a reminder that she is gone and you are alone.

It wasn’t a dream.

It’s real.

And it hasn’t even begun to hurt yet.

AJ blogbatsinthebelfrylove

[blogbatsinthebelfrylove]

#poetsofinstagram #poetry #poetrycommunity #poems #writersofinstagram #excerptfromabookillneverwrite #excerptsfromabookillneverwrite #excerptsfromabookthathasyettobewritten #excerptsfrommylife