#exvie

[goatbeard-goatbeard]

Can I just say how much I adore Good Omens’ portrayals of falling? I especially appreciate Gabriel’s weird abrupt turn in s2, because sometimes it really is like that.

My own loss of faith took years. It also took about 10 minutes.

If you had asked me that afternoon how I felt about [pick any controversial topic], I would have been 100% on the party line. And that wasn’t a performance or a mask, that was what I genuinely believed. Ask me about those same topics the next morning, and my positions on ALL OF THEM had completely changed.

Because: beliefs are related to each other! They support each other! You can’t always change one belief without changing dozens of others that are connected to it. So that final switch was turning a hundred different switches on the switchboard. In the years leading up to it, I was collecting those switches. I was installing the switches. But they stayed firmly in the Off position. These were things other people believed. They could only flip (becoming things I believed) once they had ALL been installed, because they ALL had to flip at the same time.

To people who haven’t experienced that (or who lost their faith in a different order / for different reasons), a gradual, piece-by-piece process probably looks more realistic. It’s way, way more common in fiction. But I personally find those portrayals to be so alienating. It often feels like storytellers can’t put themselves in a believer’s shoes at all. Like they’re writing a character that never really believed any of that stuff, deep down. So it’s very easy for that character to shed bits and pieces of those beliefs over time, because they were never actually integrated into their concept of reality.

Compared to that, Gabriel feels so much more real.

Because there won’t always be a nice, gradual Questioning Phase in between “archangel fucking Gabriel” and “what about no armageddon”. Sometimes it’s a long, invisible process of data gathering — all while 100% on heaven’s team — punctuated by a very very sudden freestyle dive.

[the-jesus-pill]

You did the right thing by leaving. 

Even if it feels scary or wrong, your life is ultimately going to be better for it. They made you afraid of practicing your free will because they want to keep controlling you. 

But they can't touch you now. 

You're free. You belong only to yourself. You can rest now. 

Your life is only just starting..

[whats-a-human]

Advice on deconverting:

The anger is REAL. If you aren't pissed off already, then you'll probably be eventually with the shit they taught you/what happened to you. And you're ALLOWED to feel that way, but PLEASE PRIORITIZE YOUR SAFETY. Try not to get into arguments. The anger will dimish with time, especially if you focus on good, healing things. Don't downplay or run away from your anger, but shift your focus from bad people to yourself and your allies.

THE FEAR IS ALSO REAL. It's a normal reaction to show up during confrontations and sermons, so notice it but don't let it control your decisions. Especially when you go through a difficult situation... going back to god may be tempting, but eventually you'll never even remember him during hard times lol

BUILD A SAFETY NET!!! Irl friends, online spaces, everything you can find to help you!!!

You'll have to learn to leave so many things and people behind. It hurts, but I promise it'll get better beyond the wall. And refrain from "saving" others: they'll never deconvert against their will.

Even if you still believe in the supernatural, give it a break and learn to accept a non-magical reality. I'm not saying you should be an atheist but it's so important to be at peace with the idea of permanent death, human-made morality, an indifferent universe and such. These ideas were extremely liberating for me, but I know they're worrisome for some. You gotta build your new worldview based on objectivity first

So, it's so important not to overwhelm yourself. Your journey is like a tower, built one brick at a time.

Knowledge is your friend, and especially the same type you may have avoided before. I'm talking of evolution, debunking theist arguments, the history of christianity, other religions, demonology, etc. I like the YT channels of Genetically Modified Skeptic, Forrest Valkai, Professor Dave Explains, Religion for Breakfast, Esoterica, and Aron Ra's series on Noah's Ark. Aaand you'll find more good ones along the way!

Healing from religious trauma is like any other kind of trauma: lots of ups and downs, you may relapse, have breakdowns, and you're bound to make mistakes too. In my case, I was already pretty far in my recovery from mental illnesses before deconverting, and so I employed tactics like the safety net in this situation and although I made mistakes too, I mostly felt at ease. I also recognized and dealt with religious trauma still inside the religion, but I only notice now that I could only FULLY heal from its effects outside the church.

Wish you the best

[goose-onthe-loose]

Socializing with non-apostates is odd. Like they're just chilling and meanwhile your internal monologue is like

I need to tell you immediately it'll never come up please ask more questions it doesn't matter you think I'm a freak you don't even care I need you to understand it's impossible to explain I was raised in a cult I'm literally so normal.

[joyfulapostate]

There is an obsession with roles in Christianity. Christ and the church, husbands and wives, parents and children, leaders and followers-- for each role, there is an associated list of approved behaviors. And deviating from the norm is seen as more than just rebellious. It's seen as a danger to the entire system if anyone acts out of turn. But the stakes don't need to be that high. They are artificially heightened by social rigidity.

Perpetuating the same rigid roles stops people from taking an active part in relationship management. What works in one relationship might not work in all of them. Because relationships should be made by and for the people in them. The goal for an individual should be to have a diverse emotional toolbelt so that all of their relationships can prosper, not just the ones that adhere to an expected standard.

Roles create a shorthand for modeling only a very small number of relationships and cut off the potential for adaptation. We are capable of so much more!

[dragondroid]

Isn't it weird that Christianity had convinced us that non-Christians were all secretly depressed and hopeless?

Like, with how christians have tried to proselytize to me, they talk like they think I'm desperately trying to fill some kind of void or some shit. They tell me I'm "losing my soul" like that means any more to me than threatening me with the Sith or Sauron.

And, like. No? I don't feel the need to be "saved" from anything. I don't feel some weird metaphysical angst now that I don't believe in some sky daddy. In fact, ever since I accepted the fact that souls don't exist, I've been better than ever!

It's kinda beautiful, don't you think? In the end, we discovered that the "pain" that Christianity claimed to be protecting us from wasn't painful at all. That the disease they claimed to cure was never there to begin with.

So have some fun! Do stuff that "poisons your soul!" Take pride in the fact that you no longer have to play by the rules of an imaginary dictator, or worry about an imaginary body part! Prove the Christians wrong by loving every goddamn second of your beautiful, sinful life. As long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, what's the point in not indulging yourself?

Besides, if you can feel this good without a soul, it clearly wasn't that important anyway.

[ardent-apostasy]

idk if this will actually reach anyone but i'm just kinda curious! pick whichever feels most right and elaborate in reblog/tags if you want

(i'm a mix of all of them but mostly 3)

(feel free to also vote if you're an apostate of another religion and feel like this applies to you!)

[exvangelical-bi]

Just out of curiosity and for funsies, what were other ex-cult people's experience with video games in their childhood? Yesterday I was talking with an ex-cult friend and she mentioned a past time that she went to a video game event with a friend and just watched her the whole time rather than playing herself, and I made a joke about how I could tell she's ex cult bc I (and many other people I know) am the exact same way. But that got me thinking, how universal is that, really? So! Poll time :). For the sake of this poll, video games refers to games either played on a console or as their own computer program (like Minecraft, Pokemon, etc), not web games.

Complete access means you were able and allowed to play a wide variety of games, not just cult approved or family friendly ones. There still might've been some games on a case by case basis you weren't allowed, but video games weren't restricted just for being games.

Some games means you had maybe a few genres you were allowed to play in, but probably weren't allowed anything that was particularly "worldly" or not e rated. Basically a very kidproofed experience of gaming.

One or two games means there was less than a handful of games you were allowed to play, and that probably only happened after your parents/guardians had run it through three different media checkers and deemed it sufficiently educational/cult approved/appropriate. Bonus points if it got a pass for being the Dad Hyperfixation Special (something he was interested in and ergo could find no faults in bc if he likes it it's obviously fine right??).

No games means in terms of video games you weren't allowed them in general for whatever reason. Probably didn't have any consoles either.

And in terms of liking or disliking watching other people play, it's also a question of did you seek out other people playing games just to watch them and enjoy that, or did you avoid them (either bc you just wanted to do it yourself or bc you were scared of going against orders)?

[he-of-little-faith]

In today's installment of "having imaginary conversations in my head" I've been trying to figure out how to explain my yes-man nature to others than without having to Get Into Everything so I've settled on "i was raised in a really groupthink environment and I'm still trying to remind myself that I'm allowed to have thoughts and opinions"

[kaylaeljwritesthings]

About the newest disabled poet on Tumblr.

Howdy y’all. I’m Kayla “El” J! I’ll answer to either Kayla or El, but I prefer El. I’m twenty, very gay, and use they/she pronouns.

I’m an ex religious cult member/exvangelical (yes, both), disabled, and queer person studying writing in college. A lot of my writing goes over these topics as they are intrinsic parts of my humanity. I have two poems releasing with Heartbalm Lit and Unstamatic in the coming weeks about being disabled and queer in the dating scene & the death of my father, respectively. I also am the co-founder and co-editor of an online literary magazine dedicated to those with religious trauma called Divinely Inspired Lit.

Now that we’ve gotten the nitty gritty details out the way… let’s talk interests.

I am a cat parent of three: Caleigh, Mocha, and Pepper. They are all girls and are my little menaces. You might see posts every now and then about my love for Taylor Swift, The Owl House, Maya Hawke, Gilmore Girls, the MCU (particularly Pepperony), and others. I’ll try not to let my fandoms take over this space, but I make zero promises.

I’m happy to be back! I haven’t been an active tumblr user in years, hoo boy I hope I remember how to use this. I feel like a granny.

[goatbeard-goatbeard]

the way that Aziraphale’s faith in God is actually the same thing as his faith in Crowley

in our world, faith in god(s) is a proxy for faith in other people. gods don’t literally exist, but we still feel their effects because their followers do things in their names — things which are impossible for mortals but possible for groups of mortals

like take voting for example. a single vote is unlikely to change the result. but the faithful don’t care if they’re doing something individually irrational. they’re not doing it for the outcome; god will handle the outcome. and as a result, they DO get the outcome: faith groups are consistently overrepresented in government. their own actions become the divine intervention

in Good Omens, the angels together did all the things God brags about to Job, like setting constellations in the sky. Aziraphale and Crowley’s half-miracles added up to 25 lazarii. when they told the magic shopkeeper they’d handle the miracle, that’s exactly what they did, because acting on faith (in each other) IS the miracle

is fixing heaven impossible? yes. but with God* all things are possible

*whoever actually set the constellations in the sky

[the-jesus-pill]

[Image ID: a tweet by Rachel Myers @rachelsaheretic 

Say no to that coffee invite, don’t respond to that old church friend who is reaching out “concerned” because of your new beliefs, set a boundary with how much of your story you share with those who won’t value it. You don’t owe anyone an explanation for your journey.

End ID]

[bonusdragons]

June 17, 2023:

Terracotta Tertiary, Wildclaw, Eye Spots.

Ira of Exvi’s clan!

[goose-onthe-loose]

I love you apostates I love you sinners I love you "lost lambs" I love you everyone who is forging their own path instead of the one "God" had planned for them.

[joyfulapostate]

Galatians 6:14 But far be it from me to boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, by which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world.

Let us boast, for it is better than crucifying ourselves.

Our accomplishments are our own. So boast of them! Participate in your own life because it is still here for you to live.

[skaianbruja]

People with Catholic Trauma: The Catholic Church is a horrible institution and traumatized us, but some parts of Catholicism are kinda cool, like the aesthetics. Some of us even still participate in aspects of Catholicism for cultural or personal reasons. The church and God we rather keep at a distance though....

People with Evangelical Trauma: Evangelicalism is an abomination and must be destroyed fully. When Judgement Day comes we will lay waste to Heaven and put God on trial. And he will pay for the countless sufferings done in his name with his dying gasps