#fake dating i guess

[sircarebearalot]

keep it simmering baby

up for adoption bc while i am def gonna write this baby some day, i'd LOVE too see others do thsi too and honstely if i post it here it's bc it's up for grabs

han sooyoung and kim dokja go to couples cooking bc they both can cook

(kdj, having been in the claws of poverty, never had the ingredients, energy and time, and now he just wanst a fool proof way to learn from scracth

hsy, having lived her youth in the lap of luxury, has always ordered takeout and is now emabrarred by her completely inability to contribute in the kitchen)

and they want to be a fucntionng adult for their partners, yoo 'tsundere star chef' joonghyuk and yoo 'perfect human being' sangah

they decide to sign up for a couples class bc that's less embarassing than just straight up admitting they don't know how and there aren't really classes for hopeless adults and also bc it's cheaper and they are both hopeless cheapskates

so yes, consider they are spending money and time together in a place where their partners aren't aware... does that look good?

lucky for them!! their partners are logical enough to know that kdj and hsy would never cheat on them (BC THEY ARE SUCH SIMPS) nevermind with eachother, unfortaunaltey, kdj and hsy's rep is bad enough for yoo joonghuk and yoo sangah to think that they have found themselves into trouble with .... wait for it.... THE LOCAL MAFIA!!!

so, see in this episode where kim dokja and best friend, han sooyoung go to a couple cooking class and (grudungly and painstakingly) pretend to be in love while all the attendeant, much older couples, fawn over them --- and one younger couple eye them mistruftully bc they think that kdj and hsy are cheating on therui couples bc (why the hell not) kim com are alll low level famous, (hsy is an author, kdj is an editor---whcih no one cares about bc he is also yjk's boo) and the young couple are very salty about it but OFC THEY WON'T POST ABOUT IT BC THAT'S AGAISNT THE SACRED RULE OF COUPLES COOKING BUT LOOK, LOOK??? HOW COULD KDJ RUTHLESSLY BREAK YJK'S HEART??? AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THE SIMPING FAITHFULNES OF HSY???

anyways, that is happening there in that studio, while on the other side of town, yoo joonghyuk and yoo sangah have enlisted kimcom to take down the fearsome mafia to save the two fool that aren't even in trouble.

naturally this epsiode will feature hilarious cutawar moments such as thsi one...

["Do you think Sangah is thinking of me right now?"

"I'm sure she is cutting down the city wondering where you are at," Kim Dokja replies drolly, as he poked mistrustfully at a perfectly fine tomato.

On the other side of town, Yoo Sangah smiles angelically at a mob boss, who was on his knees and holding his right pec protectively. "You will answer my questions, won't you? Where is Han Sooyoung and Kim Dokja?"

"Who?" the mob boss demands.

Yoo Sangah's smile tightens and she nods at Yoo Joonghyuk, who's eyes are gleaming with a slightly demonic light. He advances once again and the mob boss' pleas of ignorance are ignored.]

and ofc

["I don't even know if Joonghyuk will eat my food," Kim Dokja sulked, looking moodily after the instructer that had failed at hiding a grimace at Kim Dokja's liberal use of spice. "He only eats his own cooking anyways."

"Don't you want to feed those brats like the responsible ajjussi they think you are?"

"You have a point," he sighs. "I hope they have finishied their homework."

Not too far away, Lee Gilyoung and Shin Yoosung are arguining on how they will punish the criminals for taking Kim Dokja away (the adulst of kim com failed to remeber how the kids have access to the baby monitors), kimcom for leaving them out of the rescuing ('that jerkface is going to pay for keeping me from rescuing hyung!!"), and each other for allowing such a tragedy to take place. All while a fierce baby Biyoo chimes on with an ocassionaly 'Baat!']

so, stay tuned for the misadventures of silly gooses and silly billies alike!!

[aardvaark]

i was thinking about how i wished leverage had a birthday episode for some of the characters cause that would be sweet, but then i realised something and basically…. okay here’s my thoughts in quotes form, just for fun

hardison: so when’s your birthday? i could plan something for us and the team to do and-

parker: i dont know

hardison: you don’t know… your own birthday?

parker: no, how would i know? pshh, cmon, you’re telling me you remember EXACTLY when you were born? watch this - hey, eliot, do you know your exact birth date?

eliot, innocently passing by, who was canonically anonymously dropped off at a hospital as an infant: no, how would i know?

parker: that’s what i said!

hardison: excuse me?? what is going on right now

sophie, walking into the apartment: whats wrong?

hardison: parker and eliot- well, okay, when’s your birthday? i just have to prove something.

sophie: …….july 12th

hardison: why did you pause? wait, is that your birthday or sophie devereaux’s birthday?

sophie: ………… (guilty silence)

parker: see, no one knows their real birthday! haha you’re so weird sometimes, hardison

hardison:

hardison: what the fuck guys

[tartarusknight]

Eddie Munson was pissed off. He was annoyed by the little sheep he brought into his group. It was just that after spring break... well, they didn't see him as an authority figure anymore. Which, fine, whatever. But they never listened to him, and suddenly, he was getting shit from them. Not mean shit or anything. It just wasn't... it wasn't what he was used to. They gave him shit and became basically family.

However, he didn't sign up for kids to just pop up all the time without warning and give him shit about what he does in his spare time. He used to be cool and mysterious. Now he gets shit that his van is a mess, and he likes to sleep in after staying up late painting mini figures. THEY'RE NERDS!!!! Yet he's the uncool older guy.

Sure, they don't make fun of him repeating school or his appearance. Nothing that hurts, but it's annoying. However, it's less annoying after he realizes that they started doing the same to Steve after they got to know him. And well, he knows they think Steve is cool. They just don't say it to his face. So he holds onto that. They probably won't ever say he's cool to his face anymore but he's not, not to them.

It's like he went from the cool older teen to older brother figure in one week. One near death experience. And well... he understands in some way. Doesn't mean he likes that they don't respect him anymore. He knows that it gets on Steve's nerves too. The kids would be over for movie night of just decided to have a sleep over at Steve's and Steve would just have to go with it.

So, Eddie did what could be considered stupid. He fought back. Sure, he liked being around them and hanging out with them. But some boundaries needed to be returned. He'd like warnings or heads up. So he started small. He started to invite an old friend of his around. Veronica. She and him have been friends for years, but when she came out to her parents as trans, she moved away. Well, she ran away.

Her parents moved not long after, the "shame" of having a daughter now instead of the son they so desperately tried to hold onto. The son that never truly was alive until he wasn't a he anymore.

So, Veronica did stop in Hawkins every once in a while since her parents left. After all, her and Eddie, they had been close. She was his first friend in Hawkins, and he was the first person she came out to. It didn't help that they both had crushes on each other. But Eddie and Veronica grew past the old crushes, and sometimes, when they met up, they'd hook up, but only when they wanted a sweet release. Nothing romantic. All that was gone.

So, Eddie asked Veronica for a favor as she was passing through, stopping to visit everyone. He always invited her to stay at the trailer for the few days, and this time, he did have an alterior motive. And well... Veronica thought it was pathetic of him but also hilarious, so she was in. Because Eddie decided that if the kids were going to be assholes he was going to scar them for life. In the way that was ~sex~

The first night she's there, they spend catching up as usual. But Eddie's not really up for anything more than that. His big gay heart stolen by the goddamn babysitter. So when they head to bed, curled up on Eddie's full sized mattress, they just sleep.

However, that doesn't mean when his trailer door is swung open that next morning with Dustin, Mike, and Max all barging in, that that's all they see. No, the minute the kids open his door, Dustin shrieks, and Mike yells an incredibly loud and disgusted "ew."

Veronica pops her head up, and her eyes narrow. "Teddy, your kids are here," She groands before flopping back down. However, she pauses and looks back at them. "Wait, aren't you Harrington's kids?" She questioned, and Eddie tossed the blanket over her head.

He can feel his cheeks warming and grunts, "for your modesty." It makes Veronica laugh, and he knows that she's going to quickly figure out his big fat crush.

But before he can dwell on it the boys are running out and Max is just standing there with her arms crossed. He raises an eyebrow at her and she huffs. "I can't believe you. Honestly," she spits and actually sounds mad. Like fully pissed off.

"Max?" He questioned but she's fleeing too. The kids gone, like he had hoped but Max... that felt wrong. Like he actually did something wrong. Which... what even could it be. He's not doing anythign wrong.

However, then Veronica's teasing him and he snaps out of it. He's got her for two more days and he'll take them. After she's gone, he'll figure out what went wrong. So, they get dressed before they drive over to Gareth's too meet up with everyone. Maybe it's there in the back of his head the whole time. But he tries not to think too hard about it.

It's just that, the next day happens and when Eddie goes out for a smoke in the morning Max stomps up to him. Rightous fiery and looking ready to actually kill him. "She's still here." She snaps and Eddie raises an eyebrow.

He slowly blows out the smoke, "yeah, Red. She is. Who pissed in your cheerios?" He asked and she had the gull to roll her eyes at him. Like he was a moron for not understanding.

She shoved her finger into his chest. "I wasn't bothering you and him about okay. I was staying out of the way but- but Eddie what you're doing is wrong. He- he's already been cheated on. It shouldn't happen again." She snapped before marching off. Leaving Eddie shocked. He only snaps out of it when his finger burns from his cigarette.

He heads back inside, and Veronica's chilling on his couch and painting her nails. "We should get a good movie to watch. I need some of Teddy Munson's comentary." She says, and he gives her a grin that's not all happy. But she's not focused on him at the moment. Her eyes elsewhere.

Instead, he shakes the words from his shoulders and gets out a small laugh. "You haven't heard commentary until you've watched a movie with Robin Buckley." He assures her. And then the plan is set into action.

He messed around until she finished painting her nails, and then they were off to Family Video. Max's words got louder and louder as they got to the building. But it didn't make sense. He wasn't cheating on anyone. Even if Max thought otherwise.

"Eddie!" Steve grinned, and Robin poked her head around a shelf. They both had big smiles on their faces. Although they dimmed slightly at the sight of Veronica.

Eddie sauntered up to the desk where Steve had been previously flicking through a magazine. "Busy at work, Stevie?" He questioned and Steve rolled his eyes. Before his eyes once again strayed to Veronic.

Eddie straightened, "Oh, this is Veronica. She and I have been friends since ever." He waved his hand, and Veronica moved over. She was slightly taller than him in her tall boots, and she grinned at Steve.

Steve nodded slowly, "I did - uh- nice to meet you. I'm Steve," he held out his hand, and Veronica took it slowly. She gave him a once over, probably seeing the matching scars over their throats.

She shrugged, "I know who you are." Is all she says before she looks at Eddie. Her face reads we have to talk about that, with a look to his throat. And well... she saw most of the other scars already. After all, he didn't care if she looked at him when he changed. She knocked on the counter, "Any who. I'm going to go find a movie, Teds. Oh, you guys should join us. Teddy said you had the best comentary, Robin." She grinned before slipping back into the shelves.

Eddie watched her for a moment before sighing and looking back at Steve. Steve who looked like someone just was told that their dog was hit by a car. "Whoa, Steve, what's wrong? Hey, are you alright?" He questions and Steve seems to shift and refocus instantly.

He nods, a fake smile covering the emotions swirling. Max's words ring in his head. "All good, man. Just sad I can't today. Busy," he says, and Eddie's sure it's a lie.

Eddie looks over at Veronica who's asking Robin for recommendations. Likely trying to give Eddie some one-on-one time with Steve. "You know, Max said the weirdest thing to me this morning. She and the other gremlins barged in and saw me and Veronica sleeping together- in the same bed. We were passed out in the same bed. Not actually- well we were just literally sleeping together. But not like, you know. Sleeping together. Fucking. Making love. Snoodiling. Whatever you want to call it."

And suddenly Eddie couldn't stop talking. "She came up to me and started telling me how unfair it was of me. That cheating was wrong and all that shit. But I couldn't figure it out. Because I haven't dated anyone in ages. Like- a really fucking long time. But she told me how he had already been cheated on and it wasn't fair of me. But once again I was confused. Until Veronica mentioned coming here. And right now. Right now you look like I just killed your dog in front of you. All by bringing my friend in with me."

Steve was blinking at him, looking shocked. And Eddie gave him a tight smile. "I've slept with Veronica before. On and off for a few years now. She was my first crush, and I know that it might be weird, but honestly, it's nice to have someone to just let out steam with every once in a while. But when she stopped by, I told her I couldn't. Sometimes, that happens. The last time she was in town, she was head over heals for some girl in her history lecture. This time, I was totally gone for this guy I've been hanging out with recently."

And now Eddie can't even look at him. "I thought it was impossible. Like obviously you couldn't like me back. Even when you told me your bisexual. That didn't mean shit. Just because you like guys doesn't mean you like me. But with Max and now just seeing your face. I couldn't- I mean I just had to say-"

Steve looks around the store before pulling him into a kiss. Eddie's stunned for a moment before he grabs Steve's face, and it's awkward over the counter, but he doesn't care. He's kissing Steve and it's perfect.

He hears whooping and breaks away to see Veronica leaning on the top of the shelves with Robin leaning back on the same one. Both of them with proud smiles on their faces.

And yeah, maybe this was for the kids and their annoying habit of just breaking into his trailer. But getting Steve was also good. And well... if the kids get annoyed, he can just really gross them out by making out with their babysitter in front of them. Yeah, that will work, too.

[doityourselfbombs]

reminder that you can criticize the way the publishing industry has commodified popular tropes and exacerbated that through social media like tiktok without acting like anyone who consumes books because they enjoy those tropes or bc they saw the recommendation on tiktok is an idiot.

[cienie-isengardu]

Mortal Kombat 1 Behind the Scenes AU: Good at multitasking

Author Note: Continuation to “Get. Lost.”, “Dating”, “Permission”, “Why date a punk like him”, “Panic (Mom is visiting)”, “Deep in trouble (Mom is visiting #2)”, “Why date a punk like him… (Lin Kuei Mom)”, “Why date a punk like him… (General Shao)”, “There is never a god around when you need one”, “ A mother knows best, p.1” &“ A mother knows best, p.1”

[Cage’s Mansion] [Waiting for Liu Kang] [Special Bonus] [Grandmaster’s commentary] [Climbing scene] [Madam Bo’s Inn] [Cage’s Mansion 2 (fire extinguisher)] [Medic] [Shang Tsung’s sad face] [Smoke’s Fall] [Scenography (1)] [Scenography (2)] [Show off!] [Favorite brother] [Climbing on the wall (nonsense)] [Tomas’ commentary] [Perfectly fine] [Sexy, sexy man~♪] [Brothers between filming - Scenography(3)] [Wrong team!] [Since when you two are friends?!] [I like being evil sorcerer more] [I forgot my line, sorry!] [Read the script Kuai!] [Get. Lost.] [Dating] [Permission] [Why date a punk like him…] [Panic (Mom is visiting)] [Decapitation then] [Deep in trouble (Mom is visiting #2)] [Cultural differences (paid leave)] [Why date a punk like him… (Lin Kuei Mom)] [Why date a punk like him… (General Shao)] [Stop closing your eyes!] [There is never a god around when you need one] [(Over)protective brothers, p. 1 - upset Tomas] [(Over)protective brothers, p. 2 - Control your anger] [(Over)protective brothers, p. 3 - the perfect solution] [A mother knows best, p.1] [A mother knows best, p.2]

[snowe-zolynn-rogers]

Ruin: What stuff do you like?

Eclipse: I don’t know.

Ruin: Do you like candy?

Eclipse: Candy?

Ruin: Here! *tosses candy through the barrier to him*

Eclipse: I don’t see why I’ll like this, it’s just sugar- *tries the candy* Oh my god, this is…amazing! I love this! What is this stuff? Candy? I love candy!

[familyabolisher]

of all the boring opinions you can have about genre lit i do think the funniest one is complaining that romance novels read too much like fanfiction

[eskawrites]

so. um. like. what if the nancy pov was as long as the cfdau

[mav-the-artist]

Here's Tricky in that 90s hardcore/gabber mascot style again, but this time I made a fake album cover!

Here's some music I think he'd play at the club

Drawing w/o the grainy filter under the cut!

[dianneking]

I am tired and my brain itches to write fun stuff and I cannot but I had an idea for another Larissa/Melissa and I wanted to share a snippet.

“When was the last time you took a holiday?”

“We’re on holiday right now, Melissa.”

“I meant as in leaving Nevermore, Weems.”

“...”

“That’s it. Pack your bags. We’ll leave on Tuesday.”

“May I ask you were to?” 

“Italy. My cousin’s getting married and I need someone to pretend to be my partner to get Nonna off my case.” 

“I’m sorry?”

-

(It would be filled with all the tropes)

[beatriceportinari]

only have like 10 minute before class just found some insane izn fic

[rox-reads]

i just know this is the start of jaw and brooks's fake dating slow burn love story

[sysig]

Edgar getting jealous over Scriabin, Edgar getting jealous is so gooooddd

Day 28 - Date Success! 🌟

[boxwinebaddie]

once again, this has nothing to do with anything but i had this massive brainworm abt jer starring in a crimson dawn music video where he can reprise his role as Gone But Not ForThotten Shameless Slut Era Jersey and gets to be a super hot, scary, sexc vampire king that seduces nice boys and turns them into his little vampire thralls ;)

in my head the aesthetic is very punk-rock bram stoker dracula x howl's moving castle, with strong romantic goth esqe energy, lots of catholic religious imagery sex-cept its being totally sacralized by cd.

but anyways, back to vampire king jersey, like...excuse me, jers in the dramatic high waisted riding pants and the frilly, lacey, billowy shirt with the big puff sleeves, open just enough to invite temptation but not enough to let it in...completely dripped out in the big, fancy costume jewelry and little raven rings except they're all gold & dainty, with his long, beautiful, luxuriously bouncy ginger hair falling over his shoulders like fire and lightly billowing in the breeze w/ his tunic???

not to mention the scarlet streams of fake blood dripping from his freckled lips as he smirks at you and licks them!!! HELLLOO!!!!!!!

anyways, i could talk about this for hours, but i just want y'all to know that jersey kyle played that role far too convincingly, made extremely intense, heart-racing, sexually charged eye contact with stan like the entire time and i have this very vivid image in my head of them finally getting to Kiss during this one part of the song bc it was scripted...

and its just them like aggressively making out against a huge coffin or an victorian banquet table with an antique candelabra on it and the director keeps yelling "CUT! CUT! CUT!" but they can't hear anything over the sounds they're making in each other's mouths, breathless gasps, soft shudders, desperate hands everywhere, shirts hung off collarbones, makeup smeared, expensive props fallin all over the floor

anyways, they only needed about 35 seconds of film and at the end, they ended up with 8:23 minutes of footage they didn't need...Slay.

-uncle nina, whose brain is just a super gross girl terrarium for down horrendous nasty boy brain worms

p.s. i think the song tagline goes something like

'they say you are what you eat...'

'and i eat boys' ;)

[miktoast]

so i was just re-reading my reference sheet for Miraculous Ladybug AU's when i found this bit that i'm absolutely in love with. for some context, i was explaining the various nicknames characters have for each other and how they came about. also, please note that this is an AU where Stoneheart took place on the first day of their second year of lycee. Also note, in this AU, Ladybug goes by Coccinette.

Adrien's Nicknames for Marinette and Ladybug:

—Ma Cherinette (as in "my dear [cherie] Marinette" after Nino's short film, where Adrien makes an inside joke of pretending to act like their old roles but with their own names) [Adrien to Marinette]

"Agent Dupain-Cheng! Ah, how I've missed you, ma Cherinette!" Adrien swooned, draping one arm around Marinette's shoulders while the other clutched at his chest. He could feel her tense momentarily and hunch into herself before drawing on the confidence that made her a worthy Madame President when M. D'Argencourt got akumatized, and worthy Buginette when Coccinette was out of town and Marinette had to face Evillustrator herself.

Her spine straightened as she rose to her full height under the weight of Adrien leaning against her, and as every time before that they had done this little bit of improv, his admiration for his friend resurged with vigor.

"Oh, Officer Agreste, mon cœur, I have burned every second we've been apart. The next mission, won't you ask me to stay?" She turned to him, causing his arm to slip from her shoulders until his hand caught on her hip. She grab his hand from his chest and held it delicately between her own before turning her face upward so he could meet her eyes.

Her eyes… They were shining so blue, so filled with love and heartache, that Adrien himself began to feel an ache in his chest, as if he had just learned to breathe and had only ever been suffocating before.

"You know I'd follow you anywhere, if only you'd ask. Even if you wish to wander only in this little town." She closed her eyes, and the spell should have been broken, but still he found himself captivated as she pressed her cheek against his knuckles, as if they were his lips giving her tender kisses. Her words burned him deeply, echoing with his own sentiments towards a girl, and surely it must be the girl in front of him that he is so attached to, for surely no other could set his chest ablaze with as much ferocity as she.

He exhaled softly, and thought that he must be blowing smoke into her hair as the blaze burned higher. "Cherie… you are a brilliant phoenix, and I would never think to cage you at my side. You set my heart on fire, and the embers burn even when we are apart. Let us feed the flames now, so that when you must fly, I will still feel your warmth."

His hand, which had been gripping bruises into her hip, rose to the back of her head. He pulled her forward until her forehead came to rest on his collarbone, and he buried his nose in her hair, thoughts only on how his knuckles pressed into the supple flesh of her cheek, how his fingers dug into the base of her hairline, how his lips brushed her scalp, and how certainly she would remember him, if only by the watercolor marks on her hip.

It was only after several minutes that he seemed to remember that he wasn't some detective who finally returned to his distant lover when he heard giggling and the shutter-click of a smartphone camera. It was several extended seconds more when he finally brought himself to raise his head, dreading to break the scene and have Marinette leave his arms. Alya met his eyes over black hair, a sly grin on her face while she waved her phone screen from only a meter away.

He couldn't stop the glare as he reluctantly pulled away.

“Oh, drop the look, ‘mon coeur,’ you know Nino would never forgive either of us if someone didn’t get this on camera for him to use later,” Alya snorted, stepping towards the pair.

Adrien simply huffed in reply, finally letting his arms drop. His skin immediately began to feel too hot without Marinette’s soothing coolness to sap the extra heat. He noticed, with no small amount of smug, that Marinette shivered, and goosebumps raised on the back of her arms once his heat no longer blanketed her. Even better, it took her several more moments to pull his hand from her cheek, and even more after that to actually drop his hand. Once her grip relaxed, he allowed himself to squeeze her fingers before finally letting go.

All the while, Alya continued to watch, thankfully not recording this time. These soft moments with Marinette, where he allowed himself to dip into his bursting stores of love and get a little out of his system, he wanted to keep only for himself and Marinette. He wanted to keep Marinette’s soft moments only for himself. He wanted no one else to get to see how Marinette acts when indulging in affection, however unrealistic that possessive want may be; after all, Marinette was full of affection and gave it freely.

But this affection?

These embraces, these kisses of the knuckles against her cheek like a cat, this “burning” devotion (however pretend), this affection which Marinette only seemed to give to him? He wanted it all. He didn’t want to see Marinette get a partner and give these affections to them. He didn’t want others to leech off of these affections with their seeing and their hearing when they indulged in these morning rituals. He wanted it to be only Marinette’s and his, he wanted them to be done for him alone, for the rest of time.

[cienie-isengardu]

Mortal Kombat 1 Behind the Scenes AU: Panic (Mom is visiting)

Author's note: Mom may or may not hear about the whole dating nonsense Bi-Han pulled for Kuai Liang's sake. Kuai Liang's self preservation instinct kicked in just in case, so he is running to find Bi-Han before mom finds him XD

[Cage’s Mansion] [Waiting for Liu Kang] [Special Bonus] [Grandmaster’s commentary] [Climbing scene] [Madam Bo’s Inn] [Cage’s Mansion 2 (fire extinguisher)] [Medic] [Shang Tsung’s sad face] [Smoke’s Fall] [Scenography (1)] [Scenography (2)] [Show off!] [Favorite brother] [Climbing on the wall (nonsense)] [Tomas’ commentary] [Perfectly fine] [Sexy, sexy man~♪] [Brothers between filming - Scenography(3)] [Wrong team!] [Since when you two are friends?!] [I like being evil sorcerer more] [I forgot my line, sorry!] [Read the script Kuai!] [Get. Lost.] [Dating] [Permission] [Why date a punk like him…]