#family matching maternity set big brother

[comfymommy]

Elegance, Comfort, and Unforgettable Moments with ComfyMommyShop's Maternity Robe, Swaddle Set with Personalize Hat 

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[punkrockmads]

Found Family

Abby Anderson x F! Reader

Warnings: brief hints at sexual content

Chapter Seven; Excited To Meet You

*SEVEN MONTHS PREGNANT*

I sit up in bed, immediately feeling the soreness in my back. "Jesus." I groan, rubbing my lower back. I look around the room, realizing Abby isn't in the room. "Abby?" I call out, standing up and walking into the hall slowly. I rub my stomach, trying to calm my always moving daughter.

"In here, baby!" Abby replies, her voice coming from the baby's room. I walk in, smiling when I see her sitting on the floor reading an instruction sheet surrounded by different pieces of wood. She looks back at me with a warm smile. "Hey!" She greets. "Sleep okay?"

"Mhm." I nod, moving to sit down beside her. The aching in my back gets worse as I crouch down. I groan, wincing a little at the pain. Abby notices my discomfort immediately, setting down the instruction sheet and rubbing my back with her right hand, her left moving to rest on my shoulder. I sigh, the pressure easing the pain. "Thank you." I say, looking at her sweet smile. She gives me a quick kiss before turning back to the instruction sheet, keeping her right hand moving on my back in slow circles. "What're you doin'?" I ask, looking at the pictures on the instruction sheet.

"Trying to put this crib together." Abby laughs, looking at the pieces scattered all over the floor. "Having some trouble, though." I look at all the pieces, matching them up with the pictures on the instructions.

"Okay. How about..." I pause. "I'll read the instructions and point out the pieces, you put them together, deal?"

"You know what you're doing?" Abby asks.

I chuckle. "Oh yeah. I was born to be a builder, I can feel it in my bones." I pretend to flex my nonexistent muscles, making Abby laugh. "Nah, I just know how to put shit together. When I lived in Colorado, I kinda picked up this habit of making things. Anything I could. I'd put furniture together, make sculptures out of metal, carve wood, paint, anything that would distract me from the world." I shrug.

"That..." Abby lets out a breathy laugh, grinning. "is very you."

"Shut up." I snort, shoving her playfully. "Okay... so the first step is to find this piece here...and connect it to... this piece." After about a half an hour, the crib is finally built. Abby helps me stand up, leaning me into her side.

"We did it." Abby says, wrapping her arm around me. I nod, resting my forehead on her shoulder. One of the perks of being 5"4 with a 5"7 girlfriend is being able to use her muscular shoulder as a headrest. Abby smiles turns her body to hug me. "You look cute in my clothes." She chuckles, kissing my head. I laugh, remembering I'm wearing her grey sweatpants and one of her oversized black tee shirts she wears to bed.

"Mine barely fit now." I groan, pressing a kiss to the side of her neck.

"Aww baby." Abby coos. "Tell you what, there are a lot of new moms in Avalon. I'm sure a few of them kept their maternity clothes." Abby brushes my hair behind my ear. "How about we go ask around town tomorrow?"

"That sounds nice." I hum. "I could use the fresh air." Apparently the baby agrees because she decides this is the perfect time to kick. I gasp. "Abby!"

"What?! Are you okay?!" Abby panics, thinking something's wrong.

"Gimme your hand." I smile at her. She does so, confused. I place her hand on my stomach right where the baby's kicking. Abby and I sit there in silence for a second, waiting for her to kick. "C'mon baby." I urge her to kick again. "Let's show Momma how strong you are." At that, the baby kicks against Abby's hand.

Abby gasps, looking at me with shock and amazement. "Oh my God." She whispers, her eyes sparkling as she looks into mine. I laugh a little at her reaction. She falls to her knees in front of me, lifting my shirt and putting her head underneath it.

"What are you doing?" I giggle, feeling her kiss my stomach.

"Shhh." Abby laughs. "Private conversation between me and our daughter, here!"

"Ah, okay. Would you like me to leave the two of you alone?" I joke. Abby reaches behind me, pinching the back of my left thigh. "Ow! Okay, okay! I'll shut up!" I chuckle.

"Hey there, my girl." Abby mumbles against my stomach, causing the baby to kick again. "Oh, hello!" Abby coos. "Hello, baby! I hear you! Momma hears you!" I smile, rubbing Abby's head through the fabric of my shirt. The baby kicks again, Abby responding as if she can understand her. "Oh yeah?" She chuckles. "That's so interesting." Our daughter continues to kick, the two of them having their own little conversation. "Yes, I completely agree. Hey, did you know horses technically walk on their fingernails? You don't know what horses are yet. Or fingernails. But it's okay, I'll teach you when you're older and not living inside Mommy."

I look over at the door to see Lev standing there, watching silently with a confused smile. He points at Abby, mouthing the words 'What is she doing?' I shrug, waving him over. He walks in, standing beside me.

"Y'know." Abby continues. "I think we're gonna have to get you your very own coin collection. Once you're old enough to know not to eat quarters." Abby chuckles. "I wish you'd come say hi sooner. We can't wait to meet you. We're all so excited. Plus, you're making it harder for me to have fun with Mommy." At that, my eyes go wide, glancing at Lev with embarrassment.

"Babe." I clear my throat, smiling a little. "Lev came to say hi."

"Shit." Abby chuckles, moving her head out of my shirt and standing up. "Sorry, Lev."

"I don't wanna know." Lev chuckles. "Oh! Here!" Lev places a small, blue stuffed shark on my stomach, balancing it on my bump. Abby and I laugh at his proud smile.

"What's this for?" I ask, picking up the shark.

"It's for Evangeline." Lev explains.

"Evangeline?" Abby asks.

"Yeah." Lev shrugs, cheeks turning a little red. "I thought... maybe her name could be Evangeline? It was my cousin's name."

I put a hand on Lev's shoulder, smiling at him. "Abby and I will have to talk about it, but I think that's a beautiful name, Lev." Lev smiles that proud big brother smile he's had ever since he found out about the baby. Evangeline Anderson.. huh.

[shyvioletcat]

Is there going to be a part 6 for Stupid Regrets?

I’m calling this the epilogue’s epilogue. 

Part 1 // Part 2 // Part 3 // Part 4 // Part 5

EDIT: MASTERLIST

~~~~~

3 months later…

This was bliss. The way Rowan’s hands touched her body, the way his lips moved across her skin, it had her burning and burning. Aelin’s breath hitched as his fingers travelled up her sides, never quite touching exactly where she wanted him to as he kissed her neck. His silver hair caught the morning light as Aelin ran her fingers through his hair. Neither of them wore more than the bedsheet pooled at their hips as she sat straddled across his lap. He was teasing her, but any moment now Rowan would give in and give her exactly what she wanted.

Footsteps came running down the hallway and Aelin panicked, almost falling backwards in her scramble to get herself covered. Rowan caught her though, pulling her to his chest and flicking the sheet around her shoulders just before her bedroom door burst open and Dylan came in.

“Mum! I wanna watch cartoons but the remote isn’t working!” He declared.

“Batteries are in the second drawer in the kitchen, sweetie,” Aelin said over her shoulder, pulling the sheet tighter around herself.

Dylan didn’t say anything before he ran back out. With it being just the two of them for so long Dylan had difficulty remembering boundaries when it came to her room. Aelin looked back at Rowan, his eyes shining with mirth at the way her cheeks were no doubt flaming red.

“It’s not funny,” Aelin hissed as she swatted at his arm. That only set a deep chuckle rumbling through his chest.

“Five minutes and I can put a lock on that door, maybe padlock it too,” Rowan said, pressing a smiling kiss to her cheek. “Preserve his innocent eyes.”

This wasn’t the first time that Dylan had... interrupted them, and she doubted it would be the last. Aelin sighed. “Yes, let's do it today.”

9 months later…

The house was dark and completely silent when Aelin walked through the door of her home. Odd, because Rowan was meant to be home with Dylan.

“Boys?” Aelin called as she took off her shoes by the door. She heard a quiet giggle.

Smiling, she flicked on the light for the living room, gasping as she took in what awaited her. Dylan was dressed in a suit, even a little bow tie around his neck. He held a sign he and Rowan no doubt made themselves. Tears were building in her eyes as she read the words.

Will you marry him? Please?

Then there was an arrow that pointed to Rowan who was also dressed in a suit, matching Dylan's even down to the bow tie, and he was kneeling with a ring box open in his hand. They both had bright conspiring smiles on their faces, like they were the most clever people in the world. Aelin took a few steps forward, her eyes going to the ring; a gold band set with a shining emerald.

“Well, Mum?” Dylan said as he shook the sign a little.

Rowan glanced at him and his grin spread a little wider.

“I’m waiting for Rowan to ask me himself,” Aelin said a little breathlessly, moving so she was standing right in front of the man who was about to become her fiancé.

Rowan smiled so hard the corner of his eyes crinkled. “Aelin, will you be my wife?”

Aelin nodded. “Yes. Yes, of course I will.”

Rowan was on his feet, Aelin’s face in his hands as he kissed her. He slipped the ring onto her finger and Dylan cheered from beside them.

18 months later…

Rowan couldn’t wipe the smile off his face as he walked through the hallways of the hospital. Evalin and Rhoe had brought Dylan to meet his new sibling and Rowan was on his way to go collect him from the waiting room. He had a thousand emotions running through him, pride, joy and a little bit of fear just to name a few. When he stepped through the doors to the waiting room Dylan practically bounded over to Rowan, taking his hand.

“Can I go see her?” He practically begged, pulling him in the direction the Rowan had come.

Rowan waved at his in-laws before leading Dylan away. They were both beaming at him and Dylan as they waited for this special introduction to happen. As they walked Dylan practically buzzed with energy, he rattled off his night at his grandparents. Ice cream was had, twice apparently, and he’d fallen asleep on the couch watching a movie.

As they got closer to the maternity ward Rowan said softly, “You’ll have to be quiet now Dylan. There’s lots of babies and we don’t want to disturb them.”

“Yeah, okay,” Dylan whispered but he still thrummed with an excited energy.

Rowan opened the door to Aelin’s room and held it for Dylan. He rushed in, straight to his mother’s side. Aelin smiled at him and leaned over so Dylan could look at his little sister’s face. There was a look of wonder on his face and Aelin’s eyes started to fill with tears as she took in Dylan’s expression. Rowan stood back, watching the scene unfold between mother and children.

“Do you want to hold her?” Aelin whispered and Dylan nodded.

Aelin patted the space next to her on the bed and Dylan darted around to the other side of the bed and climbed up, settling next to Aelin.

“Dylan, you need to be calm. She’ll feel how excited you are and wake up if you’re not very, very calm,” Aelin explained. Dylan closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. When he opened them again Aelin asked, “Ready?”

Dylan gave one very definite nod. “Ready.”

Aelin passed the baby over into Dylan’s waiting arms. At eight years old he didn’t need much help, but still Aelin hovered a little just in case. Dylan didn’t notice, he just beamed down at his sister.

“What’s her name?” Dylan whispered, not taking her eyes off the newborns face.

“Elspeth,” Aelin said as she wrapped her arm around the two of them and kissed the top of Dylan’s head. “But you can call her Elsie if you like.”

Dylan was silent for a moment, just taking everything in. “Elsie,” he said and paused again before whispering, “Hi, I’m Dylan. I’m your big brother. I love you and I’m going to be your best friend.”

Aelin wiped the tears from her cheeks and kissed Dylan again. Then she began to whisper things that only Dylan could hear. Rowan watched the three of them, his heart near bursting with love. He loved Dylan like he was his own, and he still would without question. His heart had only grown when he had held his daughter for the first time only hours ago.

This was his family, and he had no regrets about how he had got here. Rowan loved them with his whole heart, his soul, every flawed part of himself. To whatever end.

~~~~~

Tags:

@fucking-winchester-trash // @literary-licorice // @galyxsy // @tangledraysofsunshine // @highqueenofelfhame // @3am-reading // @soup-that-is-too-hawt // @aelinfire-bringer // @nalgenewhore // @highladyofthesith // @http-itsrebecca // @sleep-and-books // @average-girl-at-best // @alifletcher2012 // @westofmoon // @sleeping-and-books // @ttakeitbacknoww // @armixers-unite // @mariamuses // @chocolate-eating-bitch-queen // @velarian-trash // @queenofxhearts // @heroesofterrasen // @highladyofstoriesandmusic // @empire-of-wildfire // @camerooonchiu // @crackedship // @lowhangingtreebranches // @over300books // @yourwhisperingshadows // @thesirenwashere // @tswaney17 // @impossiblescissorspeachpaper // @cat5313 // @judelovescardan // @flowerspringsea // @chaoticskyy // @the-regal-warrior // @fanfictrash3000 // @blueeyes425 // @starseternalnighttriumphant // @bamchickawowow // @thehuntressofmoon // @giorgia-the-trashpanda // @flora-and-fae // @thereaderandfangirl // @illyrian-bookworm // @chemicha // @meltalgel-ig // @gay-book-nerd // @that-odd-puzzle-piece // @i-love-all-books // @in-love-with-caramel-macchiato // @girl-who-reads-the-books // @hizqueen4life // @the-third-me // @queen-of-glass // @bestmelle

[editorialsonlife]

Well

Welp, feeling like doing an update because there's been a lot going on to be honest. its one of those weird dichotomies where every day feels like an eternity and there's so much going on and then you look back and you're like oh, ok its just my brain making it difficult and making things take forever but anyway.

LOCKDOOOOOOOWWWWWWNNNNNNN

Lockdown life was good, apart from being thrust into it so suddenly dave left a banana on his desk. Wasn't great to come back to after 5 weeks out of the office - mummified mouldy banana!! Classic. We luckily got our first jab before lockdown started so that was good, and we were reasonably well stocked up on food and were generally a lot healthier this lockdown that last. honestly, there's a level of chill and serenity in lockdown that i just love. the ability to set my own schedule and only work the hours I actually work to get the job done? Amazing. getting 8.5 hours of sleep each night without having to wake to an alarm blaring? AMAZING. getting to go for walks every afternoon? SO FLIPPING GOOD. I love it so much, I really really do. I need this to be my life permanently.

WORK

Work is just ongoing and draining and honestly, coming back to the office was so fucking stressful and it was only one day. Being at home is just the fucking bomb. Pending home decisions, I wanna go contracting I think, but also ideally two part time contracts to have more flexibility? I dunno. You'd think a big 4 would provide variety but it really doesn't and honestly, with Richie leaving, wellington is just a sinking ship. Sean's off on parental leave, Kirstyn is down to four days a week, ben will be gone if he doesn't get promoted (and I don't think he will be tbh). Jack is just muddling along, Nigel wants to swap to consulting as well, Matt's going to be a shit leader in terms of bringing in work so it's just not going to work. and in our wider group it's going to get even more messy with heaps of the analysts leaving and a couple of senior hires too. so I think it's probably time to jump ship in general, pending the home stuff below. Also, coming back after a break again, I'm like, I don't actually like a lot of you? All the people I enjoy here are in other teams and groups, and I'll be sad to leave you all, but like, not enough to stay anyway lol.

Pending the home below, two options are to just going and get a job with a $30k payrise to make up for the maternity leave benefits I'm gunna leave behind when I leave this role - 18 weeks full pay, $100 a week for the first year back and a full year of maternity leave. It's basically 30k post tax which is a bit nuts to walk away from to be honest.

Otherwise the other option is to go contracting. Less security overall but holy shit so much money. If I went in as a project coordinator at the lowest rate to build up a bit of a portfolio I'd need to work 40 weeks of 40 hr weeks and Id basically match my current salary plus the lost family leave benefits and still qualify for govt maternity leave payments. Realistically I could go in as a project manager for $140 an hour ($60 more an hour than the above math) and absolutely smash it at that level as well so ya know, there's a bunch of other info. I like the idea of the flexibility of it and only having 6 months even if its a shitshow and beign able to walk away at the end of it. I really don't want to get a govt job and this is a v govt town which is fine but also, if I can avoid it that would be great. I just know I'm not gunna thrive in that environment.

Need to talk to Dave to get him across the line on the security issue part of that though. I've mostly come a long way in terms of my financial management (thanks YNAB) so I think he'd be ok with it mostly.

So there's a lot to toss up there because......

HOME

We got the reno plans done during lockdown, finally. which was super good. but holy fkn jesus $$$$$$ ++++++++++. The guy is coming around for the final quote on Thursday. We indicatively said $100k total because we're doing kitchen laundry bathroom and toilet. so only the most expensive rooms and when I was talking to him last week he said 'that might cover it' and they're seeing cost escalations of 7-10% a week which is just insane. we're not doing anything structural apart from putting in a cavity slider in the bathroom, and the quote they'll give us won't include flooring since they won't do it.

Meanwhile, the prefab homes I were looking at for our site were $425k fully done. Like, I'm not going to spend $130K on doing up my 1940s ex state house ya know? That's not good cost benefit ratio.

So depending on what that comes out at on thursday we'll be able to make some plans.

We also want to start trying for kids next year and need these renos done first - I am not having kids and no dishwasher lol.

Also we need bank financing so good to be in a permanent stable job for that application. the good thing is we have so much equity we know we can borrow whatever we need, I just don't want to spend that much money on it because it's fkn ridiculous. and if I'm going on maternity leave we need to be able to cover it all on dave's salary and whatever benefits I have as well so there;s a lot of financial planning and spreadsheeting going on at the moment lol. it's fab.

either way. we've got plenty of options up our sleeve. we've got friends who's brother owns a building company so we can talk to them, we've got the garage so we can get things prefabricated even if they're not installed til next year, Dave can get shit at cost through his work for whiteware, there;s plenty of things to like cost control we can do, we just need to know where we're starting from basically. thats the challenging part. but we'll figure it out, its just taking longer than I want it to basically.

We also planted up the vege garden for the spring/summer which was lovely, super jazzed about that. we've finally got the garden to a reasonably low maintenance level where everything is mostly under control and it's such a relief, honestly.

PERSONAL

Man what a shift to lockdown last year honestly. I think the last 8 weeks in particular has just been like, a massive reality check of how absolutely shit the last year was and how fucking glad I am to be rid of it. I spent a week absolutely spiralling 2 weeks ago now and honestly, I don't know how I lived in the state for more than a year. I actually don't know how I did it. and I could not be more glad that I'm finally on the other side of it, for the most part. There's still a bunch of other stuff to work through (hahahahahaha when is there not like damn) but fucking hell its nice to just not be anxious and nauseous and wound up constantly. life is actually accessible. miracle.

My workmate had his bebe - I went round and got newborn cuddles and was like, oh, is this what it is to be clucky? this is odd. so there's that as well. I think we'll probably start trying next year pending renos and jobs etc. If the renos can be done in jan I'll prob just stick it at the job to get the benefits but I dunno. it's a tough call to make really. we shall see. This all assumes we get knocked up without any issues which is questionable these days. I really want to feel healthier before getting pregnant as well, and part of that is losing weight. however, given discussing that is what triggered the spiral we're working on that one slowly.

Also, lets have a moment for counselling, because fkn bless anne and all her hard work honestly. I actually ended up emailing her being like, I;m losing my shit on the monday and then talked to her on thursday. And its so funny because it's such a counselling thing but I didn't realise until afterwards what she'd done but she was like you're clearly not doing well and then the night before dave got a fkn miserable migraine and he was up for like, 2 hrs powerchucking except he didn't make it to the bathroom in time so guess who was cleaning up vomit at 130am trying not to chuck herself but I digress. anyway, not doing well, couldn't even explain why, didn't even have words and super tired and she's like, what lynaire up to this week how's she going with izzy and chat about that and then be like how are you feeling about your body and then 5 more mins of chat about the cat and the chickens and then like bam hard question and then hows it going with x and y and z and its like, it wasn't til I was on my walk afterwards when I FINALLY started feeling marginally better I was like damn woman work your magic for figuring it out for me and helping me reregulate. all over the phone as well since we were still in lockdown. GREAT WORK FRIEND.

and then last week was like totally fucked theoretical discussion about religion and the role it's played in my life and fate vs free will and all this nutty shit but genuinely just a great discussion. She's the best and I love her. thank good for good counsellors. thank god I can afford to pay for it honestly.

Dave and I are just chugging along, god bless that man. I love him. its amazing. I miss having friends close by but understand why they had to move (boooooo f u house prices). Family is pretty chill, still not really talking to dave's parents which is nightmarish but we'll deal with that when we need to. gunna have to go and visit them at some point coz dave misses them and I feel for him, I really do. It's the whole boundaries renegotiation I went through with my family last year post wedding blow up and its just not a fun place to be. oh well. can't fix it for him but also I'm not putting up with that level of BS from either of our families once we have children. not gunna happen.

Either way, life is busy and full and fun and I'm enjoying it. Daylight savings starts this weekend too, its october next week WTF and I'm just waiting for 4pm to find out what's gunna happen to our girls trip. Clearly we cancelled our sept trip to christchurch and akaroa and hanmer springs so my covid travel curse continues. fkn ridic. Still dunno what we're gunna do with $2500 of flight credits coz if we get knocked up theres def no international trips happening any time soon.

thus concludes the almost 2000 word write up of life. hope you've enjoyed it. I'll throw up some pics in a separate post if people care about reno plans. such a good time!

[brideofcthulhu10]

Hey guys I'm gonna be out and about today but before I go out to town I thought I leave you with some little Laddie Headcanons! A special thank you to my co-writer @imlostinsantacarla !

Laddie Headcanons

Unfortunately, Laddie was a part of a home in which a divorce was in the process of being filed. There was an immense amount of tension in the family dynamic whilst his father and mother sought to gain custody of him individually as they were in the midst of a messy breakup. The young child’s grandparents were aiding his father in filing for custody over him as his mother was hell bent on having sole custody without any visitation rights.

It’s well known that Laddie’s face was on a milk carton in the movie, with the word ‘MISSING’ written above it. This is just primarily speculation, of course. However, why else would two parents who didn't care about their child put up missing person’s posters everywhere? It’s certainly obvious that his parents were deeply troubled and affected by their son going missing, in conjunction with being apprehensive over his safety as they had no idea where he was.

Whilst his father was attempting to gain custody of him with his grandparents' help, Laddie’s mother lost him one night whilst on the BoardWalk too busy getting drunk at a bar, which is how and where the boys found him. He was all on his lonesome, wandering the BoardWalk terrified. The sight sincerely pulled on their heart strings. Seeing a little kid lost in the dead of night searching for his mother desperately just did not sit well with them.

Armed with the knowledge that their fellow sister Star was having second thoughts over their lifestyle, David immediately took the initiative to coax Laddie into drinking his blood and turning into one of them. This was not only to provide the child with a home, but also a strategy put in place to keep Star close and have her fully commit to their way of life as vampires. After all, girls love kids, don’t they? Surely her maternal or big sisterly instincts would kick in and provide her with the drive to become a caring figure for the young boy whilst solidifying her place in their group. She’d already agreed to the terms, there was no backing out now!

The other boys come to a conclusion of agreement that this is the best option as they cared about Star immensely, least enough to put up a fight when she was considering leaving, and they could not just let a poor boy stay out on the streets with nothing. There was a high likelihood of him getting kidnapped, murdered or something far, far worse whilst he was out there on his own. So they made the collective decision to take him under their wings and into their home, promising him that he would always remain safe with them.

Graciously, as if it were a match truly made in Heaven, Laddie and Star got on swell. The wee boy clung onto her desperately as she truly did remind him of his own mother and how she once was when she was with his dad. Star also bears a resemblance to his mother physically, ensuring that Laddie would bond with her much easier. The boys could not have been more happier and celebrated their success.

And thus it was settled! The boys took Laddie to the hotel and turned him, buttering him up a little in order over the next several to gain his trust and comfort.

"So, Laddie, you like it here?” David smirked at the young boy sat on the edge of the fountain in the hotel.

“Yeah it’s super cool!” He beamed enthusiastically, dangling his little legs off the edge and swinging them back and forth, they barely even hit the ground.

"Would you stay forever?" David pressed further, blonde brow quirked up in intrigue.

"Can I?!" Laddie exclaimed with an enormous grin plastered on his childish countenance.

"Hell yeah little dude! We even have a pretty, cool big sister for you!" Paul interjected just as happily, patting the tiny guy on the shoulder.

"Really?!"

"Mhm," Dwayne added, "and you can play every night."

"And you can eat as much as you want without getting sick, dude!" Marko declared.

"So, Laddie, what do you say?" David asked, head cocked to the side as he watched the little runts eyes float from face to face.

He sits still for a moment... "Hell yeah!"

The guys cheered excitedly, Marko handing David some fancy looking bottle, who in turn passed it to Laddie. "All you gotta do now, is drink this."

"It smells funny. What is it?"

"Old grape juice."

All the while, when Laddie is missing, his mother is struck with excruciating bouts of grief and shame, and attempts to get herself into a better space. Overcoming the worry and guilt that she feels over losing her son through alcohol, drugs, whatever it was that had caused her to lose her son on the BoardWalk that night, is an incredible challenge. She felt she had let her son down as well as her previous marriage. It only spurs on Laddie’s father to find him and gain total custody of the boy.

Living with four rambunctious teenage boys is a handful in itself, so it’s not a wonder that Laddie swears like a sailor, a terrible habit he picked up from the boys. Yet his one sister attempted profusely to set a better example for him. David and Paul find it hilarious that Laddie has a filthy potty mouth, whereas Dwayne and Star aren’t a fan of his newfound language.

“Hey, watch your language, bud.” Dwayne states sternly, chocolate orbs glowering into Laddie’s smaller ones.

“Pussy!” Paul bursts out in between a false coughing fit.

Laddie truly adores reading comic books frequently. In fact, the Frog brothers knew Laddie far before they knew the Emerson’s, they just didn’t acknowledge the kid all that much since he was far younger than them. This was especially since they were far too engrossed in blabbering about vampires, their investment in their own stuff made it impossible for them to give an ounce of attention to him. In their eyes he was always just the little twerp that stood on his tiptoes at the counter in their parents store, sprinkling dollar bills on top of a fat stack of mad magazine, Batman, and secretly some horror comics stuffed underneath the other ones he’d picked out.

“ 'Scuse me, can I get these," Laddie inquired politely, his eyes peering up at the two brothers behind the counter arguing over what the best way to waste a vampire was.

“Uh, yeah sure kid, whatever.” Alan stated fervently, his eyes still plastered on his brother's brooding gaze.

Edgar stuffed them into a plastic bag without sparing the kid a glance. “$15.75.”

“Okay.” Laddie stated in defeat before scooting over a wadded up ball of a $20 bill onto the counter before collecting his change and leaving with his head hung low.

Laddie is still a sucker for comics and wants new ones on a constant basis, it’s certainly something that aids him in passing the time at the hotel. Yet Paul’s adamant that he isn’t going to pay those dorks at the comic book store a single cent from his pocket. And David is a master at mental illusions, so there is one hell of a team to concoct a way to steal comic books. Neither Paul nor David feel any shame in it. David will create the illusion that Paul is walking by the store, only to actually be stealing a stack of comics to keep the poor kid happy.

Star and her inability to part with her human nature and high morals, is never too thrilled about the entire ordeal of stealing comics for Laddie. Laddie sees nothing wrong with it and only responds with utter enthusiasm at how awesome Paul is because Paul can do whatever he wants! This leads to Laddie following in the footsteps of the other boys, believing that he can both take and have whatever he wants, whenever he wants it no matter if there’s real life consequences involved because he can use his gifts (with training from David) to acquire all of his desires.

It’s also a common occurrence for Laddie to experience homesickness; after all, he misses his parents dearly because even though they weren’t the most astounding or perfection parents, they were still his parents. When this occurs, he’ll often seek out Dwayne or Star for comfort, sitting beside them, perched into their sides. They will attentively listen to him, reminding him of how much they themselves and the other boys love him and how they aren’t going anywhere. They all will be together forever. They’d even let him know that his parents and grandparents still love him too, even if he has a new family now.

Laddie unfortunately had to learn the hard way not to go to David about this specific predicament, because whenever he did, David would unintentionally guilt trip the kid about missing his parents. It wasn’t something he meant to do, it was just that David had never really had a home or a family that cared about him, his world before being a vampire was a dog eat dog world. You had to fend for yourself and choose your family. Even then he’d seen people get chewed out for trusting the wrong folks. So there’s a huge disconnection between the pair when it comes to familial things.

Whereas Marko and Paul will do things that will take Laddie’s mind right off of the down parts of being a missing child. They’ll happily play with him, get him his favorite food, read comics with him, steal said comics from the comic book store, maybe even let him help them tinker on their bikes, blast some gnarly music, you name it! They’re prepared to go all out in helping him feel happier where he is in the present and understand that he has a place with them.

Now, as for Laddie’s tantrums… well, every child has them. Usually they tend to be pretty humorous to Paul, Marko and David- that is until something happens to their precious stuff. To be fair he is an eight year old boy, of course he wants to mess with Paul’s Walkman or Marko’s bike keys! Paul nearly had an aneurysm when he saw Laddie accidentally ripped his mint condition 1965 Playboy Magazine.

"Dude who the fuck- my fuckin- WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!"

Laddie, who had been a bit spoilt from months of pampering from a group of enabling teenagers, showed minimal signs of remorse. "They were ugly anyway, she hand on granny panties or something."

Dwayne had to step in and hold Paul back from wringing the kids neck out like a wet dish towel!  "Dude, Paul he's a kid"

"I will eat you, you little turd!"

Once again, David cracks up frequently until Laddie begins to delve into his stuff also. It all began when he wanted to go for a ride and David being the more lazy member of the group had turned him down, especially in a much firmer tone the second time around. So what did the little shit do? Hide all of their keys to their bikes.

"Dude, where are my fuckin' keys," Paul hissed, digging through the cave like a tornado went through the damn thing. 

"Yours too?" Marko exclaimed his question, settling down the couch he had lifted onto the ground. “Mine vanished.”

David chuckled to himself, that was until he patted his pocket where his precious motorcycle keys had suddenly proved to be void of its contents. "Alright which one of you assholes stole my keys?!"

However that confrontation ignited an inferno of a tantrum from the small boy, who was so used to suddenly getting his way and now he was faced with the harsh reality of being told no. The boys should have really thought twice of enabling an eight year old boy! A fit from a kid can get ugly real quick, yet it’s a whole different story when that kid is an emotional half vampire that flips tables and screams at such a volume and octave that glass cracks. Star tends to primarily be a softer disciplinarian, she isn’t fond of the idea of yelling or smacking him, she’s much too gentle for that. Dwayne on the other hand, while preferring to approach things along the placid route, feels that sometimes it’s a necessary evil- while David just straight up thinks that a good smack on the mouth ought to settle him down.

Laddie is a thorn in their asses when he’s bored out of his mind, and the boys learned rather harshly and swiftly that having a little brother was not as fun as the Brady Bunch had it appear. This kid got into all their stuff, no matter how fool proof they made it, the kid always found a way! He would follow them excessively around the cave like a lost puppy, tell them the same story for HOURS on end, ask far too many questions that Marko would just blank the kid out with his music, only for Laddie to talk even louder! It was more than evident that the child had little concern over the fact that they were killers, he’d still happily pester them until they vamped out. In fact, he went out of his way to do that! The crazy little shit…

Laddie would climb on top of one of the many dust caked couches in the hotel right next to where David was reading and peek over his shoulder to get a noseful of whatever he was focused on. "Whatcha reading?" Laddie asked innocently, chin resting on the blonde vampires shoulder.

"....War and peace." David grumbled irately.

"What's that? It's big! It looks boring! Why are the words so tiny? What's it about? Who's the hero? Who's your favorite hero? Mine's batman! Well, I like Iron Man too but Batman has all the gadgets and stuff, and I like his cape but I guess you don't need a cape to be cool, but I like the cape anyway- I like Superman's cuz it's red, red's my favorite color. What's your favorite color? Well I mean red's super cool- oh but black! Black is really cool, i guess you probably like black too huh? I mean you wear it all the time, but really maybe it's cuz-" he had blabbered all of that out in one go without so much as a breath in between his sentences! And David selfishly wondered what the repercussions were on if he flew the kid onto a random cliff and left him there for several hours. He knew it probably couldn’t be good, but it was worth a try if he was ever going to catch a break and get this book finished! Not to mention the countless times that Paul’s thrown into the mix of things, David can’t stomach it and leaves the room because he can’t handle two obnoxious chatter boxes all at once. Star yelled at him once for hypnotizing Laddie to fall asleep because he wouldn't stop talking about Batman and Robin.

It’s obvious that Laddie tends to ride with Dwayne, and it’s because Dwayne is capable of ensuring that Laddie stays in one piece. If the kid had his way and rode with Paul… let’s just say that Laddie would be smeared road kill! And frankly, none of the other vampires trust Paul with the kid. Last time he rode with Paul, he was nearly flung forward when he went off of a steep ramp. Star almost slapped the smirk straight off of Paul’s face! Even Marko thought it was a bad move of Paul’s. So, it was a collective decision - minus Paul’s whining and bitching, in conjunction with Laddie’s pouting - that Laddie rode with Dwayne from now on.

When the boys were killed off one by one, Laddie was the only one who was saddened by this, because he had formed genuine bonds with his older brothers and even though they weren’t perfect, they’d kept their word to him and kept him safe. He was going to miss Paul and Marko playing with him and teaching him cool stuff about bikes and rock n’ roll. He’d even miss David and the way the man got irritated whenever he flitted about him. But the one he was surely going to miss the most was obviously Dwayne. Dwayne was like the older brother that Laddie had dreamed of ever since he was a kid. Dwayne had taken him under his wing and ensured that no one messed with him. He listened to him whenever he was homesick and was always super patient with him and just all around compassionate. Out of all of the boys, Laddie related to him the most. And now he was gone. Though each boy held a special place in his heart. As he left the Emmerson residence, he didn’t have the stomach to look at their dead bodies as he sniffled on his way out, tears streaming down his face. Although they hadn’t been the best to Star and sometimes weren’t the kindest to him, he knew that they had loved the pair of them and deep down, Laddie would always love them.

After the entire ordeal, Laddie decided he’d set foot on finding his parents again and sadly left Star behind. She reminded him a lot of the boys and she would always have a special place in his heart. Before he left he hugged the life out of her, staining her gypsy purple skirt with his tears as he thanked her for loving him and taking such good care of him. He promised her that he’d never forget her and he hoped she never would forget him. Star was heartbroken but also knew that it was best for Laddie to return to his parents and live his life out normally. She hoped he’d grow up to be everything wonderful in life and she assured him that he would remain important and ever present in her gentle heart. A long way down the line they met each other again and embraced like close siblings that hadn’t seen each other in centuries. They were much older now and wiser.

But back to the present, Laddie stumbled upon his mother on the BoardWalk that night, as though it were a miracle. The woman looked strikingly similar to Star, she was the woman that he had remembered from earlier on in his childhood, and he was truly overcome with joy. He got to see his father again which made him happy also. Although his parents couldn’t work things out, they managed to come to a steady agreement that they would have equal joint custody of Laddie, which was something that made things easier on him to adjust back to ordinary life. However, whilst he was missing, his beloved grandparents passed away, never having lost hope in Laddie being alive and returning home someday. Laddie missed them dearly but he adjusted as best as he could to his brand new life. He was never really the same after being with the boys and Star and losing them all, his parents were aware of the change but Laddie never discussed what had happened to him, only responding in vague statements or exclamations.

Somehow though, he found a way to keep in touch with Star, Michael, Lucy, Sam and the Frog brothers. They were all connected through these twisted and sad chain of events, and his bonds with them only deepened as he got older. Even Though they had remained adrift in life, Star, Sam, Lucy and Michael showed up for Laddie's graduation when he finally got through high school. Even still he remained in Santa Carla up until his graduation dinner out with the Emmersons, Star and even the Frog Brothers had shown up. Wandering for a moment on his own, his pace slowed until he came to a haunting stop.

Just beyond the tilt-a whirl, outside the arcade, he swore, parked on the boardwalk he could see a group of biker boys. As the 80s peeled away into the wild teenage rebellion of the 90s, their styles had altered. A blonde still sported a wild lion's mane, another had messy curls grown out. The platinum blonde one was the first to alert the other three of Laddie's gaze. The four grunge rockers sported bizarrely skeletal motorcycles, laughing with each other, now carrying mischievous smiles. Before he could even confirm the haunting visage of said familiar faces they vanished in a flurry of roaring engines. The last to leave looked at him with dark, haunting brown eyes. He could see under the guy's leather jacket and torn up Nirvana t-shirt jagged scar tissue around each of his limbs faded into bronze skin. They just looked at each other for what felt like a lifetime, and a wave of chills trickled down his back. The raven haired biker smirked at him, no malice in his grin. Only a soft farewell, proud even. And then he was gone. Laddie managed to take a deep breath in, silently turning on his heel to return to Star and Michael at the diner. When he got home he was applying to a few out of city colleges, somewhere away from his past.

[tabloidtoc]

OK, March 15

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover: Britney Spears' revenge

Page 1: Big Pic -- Melissa and Joe Gorga during a beach day in Miami

Page 2: Contents

Page 3: Contents

Page 4: Tiger Woods on the mend -- Tiger is counting his blessings as he recovers from a terrifying car crash

Page 6: Queen Elizabeth announced in a statement that her grandson Prince Harry and his pregnant wife Meghan Markle wouldn't be returning as working royals, noting that it was no longer possible for them to continue with the responsibilities and duties that come with a life of public service, and almost immediately, Harry and Meghan shot back with a seemingly rude reply, saying we can all live a life of service and service is universal -- no one was more disappointed in Harry's response than his brother Prince William and William finds this behavior both baffling and sickening and he can't get his head around it and William feels the family has been understanding and fair while Harry and Meghan continue to sit on their high horse flinging insults and from William's perspective there is simply no excuse for snide and ego-driven swipes made towards the queen -- especially right now, since three days prior to Her Majesty's statement, Prince Philip was rushed to a London hospital and the queen's been worried sick about her husband and should not be dealing with this added stress -- the whole situation has left William feeling hopeless and he fears Harry is too wrapped up in his own self-importance to see the hurt he's caused and that is unforgivable in William's eyes

Page 7: As Soleil Moon Frye's messy divorce drags on, a loyal pal from the past is providing a shoulder to cry on in Brian Austin Green who she reconnected with while shooting her upcoming documentary Kid 90 -- Brian can feel her pain because he's still hashing out his split from Megan Fox so he knows exactly what Soleil is going through -- they've been friends for more than 30 years and they're going to see each other through this tough time

* Tom Cruise got all pumped up for Mission: Impossible 7, but now that filming has wrapped, he's desperate to stay in fighting shape for the next installment -- Tom was thrown for a loop when the studio postponed filming M:I 8 instead of shooting the movies back-to-back so now he's putting himself through the wringer doing crunches, pullups, squats and weights but Tom's brutal, military-style workouts have friends and loved ones, including his rumored new girlfriend, M:I7 costar Hayley Atwell, worried that he could be pushing himself to the breaking point and everyone wants him to take it down a notch, but he won't listen -- physically, Tom still thinks he's invincible, but the fact is he'll be turning 60 in less than two years and if he keeps going at this pace, there's a big change he's going to do some serious damage

* Life has been twice as nice for Christine Quinn since she found out she was expecting -- the Selling Sunset star, who's pregnant with her and businessman husband Christian Richard's first child, isn't holding back when it comes to treating herself -- the famously free-spending realtor has been splurging on designer maternity clothes and lingerie to lounge around in at her L.A. mansion and she has flowers delivered daily for every room in the house

Page 10: Red Hot on the Red Carpet -- stars rock statement-making halter dresses -- Lili Reinhart, Camila Morrone, Brie Larson

Page 11: Chrishell Stause, Naomi Campbell, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley

Page 12: Who Wore It Better? Uzo Aduba vs. Drew Barrymore, Charlize Theron vs. Kaia Gerber, Bella Hadid vs. Naomi Scott

Page 14: News in Photos -- Steve Martin did what he does best while filming scenes of his upcoming mystery-comedy series Only Murders in the Building in NYC

Page 16: Nicole Scherzinger stepped out for lunch with beau Thom Evans in West Hollywood, a casually dressed Reese Witherspoon matched her shirt to her Draper James canvas tote while boarding a private plane in L.A., Paris Hilton and Carter Reum

Page 17: Rebel Wilson stopped by the gas station to fill up her car in L.A., Mariska Hargitay took a selfie while shooting Law & Order: Organized Crime in NYC

Page 18: Sarah Jessica Parker assisted customers at her eponymous shoe line's store in NYC, Chrissy Teigen at lunch at Wolfgang Puck in L.A., Naomi Osaka with her trophy for winning the Australian Open in Melbourne

Page 20: The Masked Singer panelist Jenny McCarthy in a golden tiara and caped dress before taping a new episode, for a recent date night Outer Banks stars Chase Stokes and Madelyn Cline whipped up a cozy plant-based dinner in L.A., Jason Sudeikis filled up on a sandwich on the set of Ted Lasso

Page 22: Bella Hadid strutting around Manhattan, Helena Christensen and her dog Kuma in NYC

Page 23: In partnership with Ziploc Janel Parrish created the Hot Mess Makeup Line in Vancouver, Cara Delevingne in Puma's new eco-friendly line

Page 24: Usher stopped by the dry cleaners West Hollywood, Padma Lakshmi and her pooch braved the cold weather in stylish jackets in NYC

Page 25: Tia Mowry for Late July Tortilla chips, four days before filing for divorce from her husband Kanye West of nearly seven years Kim Kardashian looked somber while out and about in L.A., during a stroll Busy Philipps stopped to check out something on her phone in NYC

Page 26: Scott Disick matched his 'do to his drink at the Sugar Factory in Miami, Justin Long stocked up on groceries in L.A., new couple Mod Sun and Avril Lavigne were inseparable after a date night in L.A.

Page 28: Inside My Home -- Claire Holt's airy abode

Page 30: Zooey Deschanel and Jonathan Scott have taken the next step in their almost two-year relationship: they've secretly tied the knot -- they've been talking about getting married for about a year and just decided to go for it and the intimate ceremony took place in front of a few family members at Jonathan's Las Vegas home on Valentine's Day and it was spur of the moment, but that's how Zooey likes to do things and now Jonathan too and they put it together in a matter of days and everyone got a verbal invite to come -- Zooey wore a Bohemian-inspired gown and flowers in her hair while Jonathan wore an all-white suit and Zooey serenaded Jonathan with a love song she had written -- guests including Jonathan's twin brother Drew Scott and sister-in-law Linda Phan were treated to a gourmet buffet and video and arcade games -- now the couple's eager to grow their family and Jonathan will be a great stepdad to Zooey's children Elsie and Charlie but he's been saying for months that he can't wait to have kids of his own and they've already started trying

Page 31: Blake Lively and husband Ryan Reynolds are one of the most charitable couples in Hollywood and now the big-hearted duo are ready to take the next step by adopting a baby in need -- Blake and Ryan who share daughters James, Inez and Betty have donated millions of dollars to organizations working to protect the rights of immigrant children separated from their families and awaiting deportation -- day by day they've been warming up to the idea of providing an orphan with a forever home -- Ryan jokes that Blake is a baby machine who would have no trouble getting pregnant again, but their hearts really go out to these kids

* Ever since Bridgerton became a monster hit, the sizzling chemistry between Rege-Jean Page and costar Phoebe Dynevor has fans convinced that they're an offscreen item as well, but Rege-Jean's girlfriend Emily Brown is fed up with keeping their real-life romance under wraps and she's starting to feel like Rege's dirty little secret -- Emily has been dating Rege for two years and shares a home with him in East London -- the show's producers have been happy to let the rumors about Rege and Phoebe fly because it made their steamy sex scenes that much more believable -- Emily, a part-time soccer player and copywriter from Manchester, loves to go to pubs and party, which she and Rege used to do before the show came out -- Rege insists that keeping their relationship on the down-low is no big deal, but Emily wants everyone to know that the hunky Duke of Hastings is spoken for

* Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher have got the parenting thing down pat, and they're ready to share their know-how by penning a how-to manual -- their friends have been begging them for advice for years and Mila and Ashton make having kids look like a fun adventure and for them, it really is -- now that Ashton has wrapped up shooting his new thriller Vengeance, he and Mila finally have a little downtime and the handbook will include the duo's dos and don'ts for raising their children Wyatt and Dimitri like they never argue in front of the kids and make sure to treat them equally -- Mila's the stricter one and Ashton's the softie, but it's a team effort and it works and they admit it can get a bit chaotic, but they don't sweat the small stuff

Page 32: New parents Kit Harington and Rose Leslie may be in baby heaven, but they're dealing with the home renovation from hell -- the Game of Thrones alums, who recently welcomed their first child, have been up to their ears fixing up their 15th-century country manor, which is turning out to be a huge money pit -- Kit and Rose bought the $2.4 million spread shortly before tying the knot in 2018 and had no idea what they were getting into and the couple got hit by sticker shock when they finally got their plans approved to put in a new kitchen, master bath, pipes and flooring and it's going to cost them an extra half a million at least -- they still think it's the perfect place to raise a family, but overseeing an army of builders and designers with a newborn at home is leading to some serious sleep deprivation

* As Olivia Wilde and Harry Styles' romance heats up, the couple is planning a heart-to-heart with her ex-fiance Jason Sudeikis -- after filming wrapped on their movie Don't Worry (for the love of all that's holy, please put in a comma) Darling, the lovebirds flew to London to meet with Jason, who's been on the set of Ted Lasso in England because Olivia, who shares two kids with Jason, wants to clear the air and have a calm conversation about how everyone moves forward from here, and she wants Jason to realize that Harry is here to stay and Olivia needs Jason to understand this is a serious relationship, whether he likes it or not

* Baby Boom -- these celebs recently welcomed little ones -- Wilmer Valderrama and fiancee Amanda Pacheco welcomed a baby girl, Kansas City Chiefs QB Patrick Mahones and fiancee Brittany Matthews welcomed a daughter named Sterling Skye, Mandy Moore and Taylor Goldsmith welcomed a son named August Harrison

Page 34: Cover Story -- Britney Spears fights back -- she is ready to reclaim her life and she's looking to take down anyone who stands in her way, starting with her father, Jamie Spears

Page 36: In the wake of the #FreeBritney movement, Justin Timberlake who dated Britney Spears from 1999-2002, and publicly insinuated her cheating ruined their relationship, took to Instagram to offer a mea culpa, saying he wanted to apologize to Britney who he cares for and respects and he knows he failed -- he also contacted Britney directly to express his regrets over how he handled their breakup because he wanted to do the right thing and Britney accepted his apology and she was touched by the gesture and thought it was absolutely sincere and they had a nice little chat and it made Justin feel better knowing that Britney didn't hold any grudges

Page 38: They're So Grown Up -- the kids of some of Hollywood's biggest celebs are striking out on their own -- Ava Sambora is the daughter of Heather Locklear and Richie Sambora, Maya Hawke is the daughter of Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman, Damian Hurley is the son of Elizabeth Hurley and Steve Bing

Page 39: Lily Sheen is the daughter of Kate Beckinsale and Michael Sheen, Jack Depp is the son of Johnny Depp and Vanessa Paradis, Lola Consuelos is the daughter of Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos

Page 40: Interview -- Dwayne Johnson -- with a new TV sitcom based on his early years, The Rock reveals all about his rollicking adventures growing up

Page 42: Slim Down for Spring -- how these stars got their best bodies ever just in time for the warmer weather

Page 46: Style Week -- Sara Sampaio is fronting Michael Kors' new campaign for its latest perfume, Gorgeous

Page 48: What's Hot Right Now -- break a sweat stylishly in LoveShackFancy X Beach Riot's limited-edition collection -- Nina Agdal

Page 49: Preppy Tennis Fashion -- Lele Sadoughi turns to '70s and '80s country club looks for its spring/summer 21 accessories

Page 50: Gift Guide -- self-care session -- pampering gifts that benefit body and mind because, hey, there's never been a better time to treat yourself -- Miranda Kerr

Page 52: Chrissy Teigen is a fan of affordable de-puffing and brightening holographic foil eye masks

Page 58: Buzz -- costars reunited -- Christopher Meloni and Mariska Hargitay for Law & Order: Organized Crime, 13 Going on 30's Mark Ruffalo and Jennifer Garner reconnected on the set of their upcoming movie The Adam Project

Page 59: Rachel Bilson shared a snap of herself with O.C. costar Melinda Clarke, Ben Savage and Danielle Fishel who played a beloved couple on Boy Meets World starred in Panera Bread's new commercial for Valentine's Day, Rebel Wilson and Adam Devine of Pitch Perfect met up during Super Bowl LV game in early February

Page 60: Sound Bites -- Jennifer Love Hewitt on her night out with Betty White, Henry Golding on expecting his first child, Drew Barrymore on never going under the knife, Salma Hayek discussing billionaire husband Francois-Henri Pinault

Page 61: Tiffany Haddish on taking a chill day, Colin Jost on letting Scarlett Johansson plan their wedding, Cameron Diaz on whether she plans to return to Hollywood, Kehlani on feeling sexier as a mom

Page 62: Horoscope -- Pisces Connie Britton turned 54 on March 6

Page 64: By the Numbers -- Ana de Armas

[carmichealroyals]

ARRIVAL OF FOREIGN ROYALS FOR WEDDING OF HRH PRINCESS DIANA AND HRH THE DUKE OF SOBURG -- PART 1

Today is the big day! HRH Princess Diana, the youngest sibling of HM King Maxwell, is getting married to HRH the Duke of Soburg, formerly Mr. Nico Tabor. Royals from across the kingdoms are pouring in for the wedding of the season here in the Winden Territories, so let’s see who’s on the highly coveted guest list!

First we have HRH Crown Princess Victoria and her cousin HRH Princess Jade of Fairlake ( @theroyalcoldwells ). Crown Princess Victoria opted for a high-necked white blouse, baby blue pencil skirt and matching hat, while Princess Jade wears a pale yellow dress with bell sleeves and matching fascinator. This is the first time the Winden Territories has hosted members of the Fairlake Royal Family, and we certainly hope it won’t be the last! 

Next up is HRH Princess Adelaide of Valencia ( @thevalencianroyals ). HRH also decided to go for a blue dress with capped sleeves, and paired it with a pink-and-white floral hat. Her parents were in attendance at the wedding of the Duke and Duchess of Daven, who in return recently attended the nuptuials of Adelaide’s older brother, Prince Philip, so we wouldn’t be surprised if this isn’t the last we saw of the Valencians in the Winden Territories! 

Up next, HRH Crown Princess Mary and HRH Princess Victoria of Albion ( @thealbionroyals )! The pair opted for differing shades of pink, both with matching hates. Welcome to the Winden Territories, Your Royal Highnesses! 

Following the party from Albion, we have HM Queen Eleanor of Elvaria ( @reigningsims ). This is another first-time guest in the Winden Territories, and Princess Diana was thrilled that Queen Eleanor was on hand to represent Elvaria on her big day. Welcome, Your Majesty!

A pair of familiar faces now -- the Duke and Duchess of Clifton, coming up from Winchester! ( @houseofroyalsims ). This pair were seen out with TM King Maxwell and Queen Morgan just yesterday in Winterven, and with Prince Felix being an old friend of the King, it is no surprise that they were on hand to represent Winchester! The Duke opted for a dark blue suit with a purple tie, while the Duchess sported a large hat and pastel-pink dress with minimal jewelry that perfectly highlights her baby bump! 

The Duke and Duchess of Druevale are the next to arrive from Sovoy ( @hawkthorneroyals ), and we couldn’t be more thrilled to see them! These two recently completed a state visit of their own, but this is not the first time Sovoy has been represented in the Winden Territories -- that honor goes to HRH Princess Rosemary of Sovoy. Lovely to see you both! 

Finally, coming all the way from Melide, we have HRH Princess Charlotte and HRH the Duke of Caraz (@markinghamroyals )! The engaged pair is the next to be married, and the Palace confirmed to us that due to the Duchess of Summerset’s maternity leave after the wedding, Diana and Nico will have a shorter honeymoon than previously planned before attending the wedding of this very pair as their first formal engagement together! We can’t wait to see them there and to see how both sets of newlyweds continue to bond!

Stay tuned -- the arrivals are just getting started! 

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

Flatbush & Atlantic: part x

part i part ii part iii part iv part v part vi part vii part viii part ix

And we’ve finally come to the end of Cass and Mat’s story! I want to thank every person who’s read this over the past few months, especially those of you who have reblogged, commented, and shared this with your friends. Your feedback means the world to me, and please tell me what you think of this final part! I’ve also got some ideas floating around for an epilogue, so don’t be surprised if that pops up in the next few weeks.

part x

May 21 (fri)

For once, it wasn’t Cass’ alarm that woke her up. Her internal clock didn’t let her sleep in past 6, but as she lay in her bed, comforter pulled up to her chin and curls up in a haphazard messy bun, a realization struck her. She didn’t have anything to do, and that was just about as far from normal for her as possible. Normally, she’d be hopping in the shower at this time, getting out and shoveling some cereal down her throat before running to catch the train, or desperately trying to finish some last-minute reading before an early lecture. Her grandparents’ flight didn’t land at JFK until 1, and she wouldn’t need to leave until an hour before that to get Mat and drive to the airport. 

Padding out to the kitchen, she just caught Ryanne, who was about to leave for a clinical rotation. “What department are you in this month?” Cass asked.

“OB/GYN,” Ryanne responded. “I got to observe a birth the other day, and it was one of my favorite things I’ve gotten to do so far. Obviously I don’t know for sure yet, but I think I might want to match into it. You get to do a little bit of everything — there’s some surgery, some routine care, some deliveries. And with the Black maternal health crisis, I figure we need all the Black OBs we can get as a country.” 

Cass smiled. “That’s wonderful, I’m glad to hear.” She knew that Ryanne had been a little stressed out with the prospect of trying to pick a residency; she hadn’t felt drawn to any of the other rotations she’d gone through quite like this one. 

“What about you? What’s your schedule like today?” Ryanne asked as she poured coffee into her travel mug. 

Cass flopped down on the couch, looking over at her. “It’s just...I have nothing to do. Nothing needs to get done. No cases to read, no essays to finish, no paperwork to file or anything. Chris gave me this week off for finals anyways, so I couldn’t even go into the office if I wanted to because there’s just nothing for me to do. Do you know how rare that is for me?”

Ryanne laughed. “Cass, I’m in med school. The last time I had a true ‘off day’ was two weeks ago, and even then I spent most of it studying.” She slung her backpack over one shoulder. “See you tonight, have a good day, babe!”

After some toast and a smoothie, Cass was back on the couch, trying desperately to think of something to do. She thrived on being busy, thrived on feeling like she was needed and contributing to something worthwhile. Pushing herself up, she walked back to her room, deciding to change and go out for a run. Cass liked to keep in shape and exercise as often as she could, even though it had been a few years since she had been on an organized sports team. She was usually able to make yoga classes at the school gym twice a week, but typically didn’t have the spare time in the mornings for a run. And by the time she got back it was almost always dark, way too late to even think about going out alone. 

Lacing up her tennis shoes and grabbing her AirPods and keys, she set out, down the stairs and past the door. As she jogged down the streets, making familiar turn after familiar turn, Cass realized something remarkably profound. Every place she passed had played a part in the last three years. St. Lucy’s, where she had stumbled in with inconsolable tears after her abuelo’s stroke, lighting a candle and praying with some old Italian woman for his recovery. The bodega on the corner run by Carlos Gonzalez, one of the first people she met when she moved to the city and the only one who knew how to smoosh her sandwiches down how she likes. The Edible Arrangements where she, Stella, and Ryanne had bought Alicia a congratulatory fruit bouquet for finally asking out her coworker Juliette. They had been dating for six months. The high school she passed every morning on her way to the subway station. These were the people and places that had made her life what it was, and she owed them her thanks. 

An hour and five miles later, Cass decided to call it quits, walking the last few blocks back to the apartment as a sort of cool-down. She jumped in the shower, throwing her hair up in a towel once she got out and resigning herself to watching whatever was on TV. Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives it was, apparently. Four episodes and one snack break later, it was time to get in the car to head over and pick up Mat. Cass drove down Manhattan Island, tapping her fingers in boredom as she hit yet more traffic. It was noon, why was there even traffic in the first place? She pulled into the visitor’s spot in the underground lot of Mat’s apartment complex, taking out her phone. Just got here! Mat popped out of the elevator a few minutes later, holding a bouquet of tulips. “Sorry I’m late, I was going back and forth between tulips and sunflowers for awhile, but I figured the pink was maybe a better choice? What do you think?” Cass started to laugh, and Mat looked offended. “What?”

“Babe, it’s so sweet that you want to impress my grandma, but have you thought about how the poor flowers will fare?”

His brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

Cass adjusted her seatbelt, leaning over. “We’re going to be out for awhile. We’re not going straight back to their hotel. So…” she prompted.

“They’ll wilt.” Mat finished, his face falling. 

She covered his hand with her own. “Don’t worry. It’s a sweet gesture and I’m sure she’ll appreciate them. We’re all going out for dinner after the ceremony tomorrow, why don’t you bring them then?” 

He perked up. “I’ll run up and put them back in a vase, be back in a few!” Mat gave Cass a quick peck on her cheek, leaving her with just one question. Mat owned vases? He slid back into the passenger’s seat shortly after, clicking his seatbelt in and connecting his phone to the speakers. 

Cass rolled her eyes. “I don’t know a single guy your age who’s not obsessed with John Mayer. It’s kind of weird, honestly.”

“You don’t like him?” Mat asked curiously. Cass was usually into more guitar-based, acoustic stuff, so he figured she’d be into at least some of his stuff. 

“Some of it,” Cass responded, pulling out of the lot and onto the street. “Go ahead and play it, I don’t mind at all. Not what I’d usually put on if I’m alone, that’s all.”

Mat nodded, looking absentmindedly out the window. “So, what should I know about your grandparents?”

Cass’ face immediately burst into a smile at their mention. It was always so clear how much she loved her family, and that was one of Mat’s favorite things about her. How hard she loved. “Alright, so it’s Dolores and Roberto Cabrera. They’re wonderful people, I genuinely think you’re going to like them a lot. They’re both super fluent in English, so don’t worry about communication. They originally immigrated to Texas when they were in their teens, abuela was a housekeeper at a few hotels in San Antonio and abuelo worked in the fields for awhile before getting a job at a little hardware store in town, where he worked until they retired. My mom’s the middle of four, two older sisters and a younger brother.”Mat listened intently. “My abuelo’s a little more rough around the edges, so don’t be surprised if he gives you  a little bit of a hard time, but it’s not out of malice or anything. He’s always been very protective over us, my mom and her siblings, and now us three. He might do the whole ‘nobody’s good enough for my Cassidy” thing, but he’ll get over it. He means well.” 

She glanced over at Mat, who was looking decidedly nervous. “Seriously, chou, it’s going to be fine. Abuela’s totally different, they’re like polar opposites. I can almost guarantee that she’ll say something to the effect of ‘if my granddaughter loves you, I love you.’ Very much go with the flow, she’ll probably want to come over to your apartment and cook for you.” Her expression softened. “As long as you’re kind and respectful, they won’t have an issue with you, Mat. They’ll see that you treat me how I deserve to be treated and love me like I deserve to be loved.”

Cass pulled into the garage by the international arrivals terminal, cutting the gas and checking the time. “The flight was supposed to land at one, so they should be getting out of passport control by the time we get inside.” It was a little after one thirty, but if there was anything Cass knew, it was just how long customs could take at an airport as big as JFK. Even in the middle of the afternoon on a weekday, and even though her grandparents were travelling on their American passports and could use the citizen’s line, she had heard that it could take upwards of an hour or two to get through. 

The concourse was pretty bare apart from a few kiosks selling “I ❤️ NY” shirts and a surprisingly busy Noah’s Bagels, so Mat and Cass made themselves comfortable on one of the rows of plastic chairs lining the room. The arrivals screen had marked their flight from Mexico City as having landed nearly an hour prior, so it was little surprise when Cass popped up from the chair, straightening her shirt and walking over to a couple that he could only assume were her grandparents. Mat quickly followed, catching up to her just as she threw her arms around her grandma. “Abuela, te extrañé,” she said, the sound muffled by Dolores’ scarf. She pulled back, kissing her grandpa on the cheek before stepping over to Mat, one hand placed reassuringly on his back. “Abuela, abuelo, this is Mat, my boyfriend.”

Mat stuck his hand out, shaking theirs. “Mr. and Mrs. Cabrera, it’s so amazing to finally meet you. Cass speaks so highly of you, and she always talks about her summers in Hermosillo.” 

Dolores pulled Mat in, embracing him from the start just as Cass had expected. “Mat, it’s wonderful to finally meet you. Cassidy has told us so much about you, it’s clear she loves you a great deal.”

Mat ducked his head and blushed. “I’m not sure if she can love me more than I love her, but I’m happy to be in such good company.” 

He took both of their suitcases as Cass gestured to the sliding doors. “I want to get back to the car before they charge me for another half hour,” she said. 

Mat slid the bags in the trunk of the car as Dolores got in the passenger’s seat. With a gulp, Mat realized that meant he had to sit next to Roberto. He had been perfectly nice on the walk over, but as Cass had warned him, it was clear that he was a little guarded. Whether that was just his personality or whether Mat had yet to earn his trust hadn’t been determined. 

Her grandparents had been to New York once or twice before, but it had almost always been just to fly in before driving up to visit Cass’ family in Connecticut; they had never really been able to see the city. Cass  felt strongly that that had to change, so she had arranged for a mini-tour of Manhattan before they got dropped off at their hotel for the night. “So, Mat,” Dolores said, turning around in her chair, “Cassidy tells us you’re a hockey player? That must be so exciting, how long have you been playing?”

Mat nodded. “Yes ma’am. I play for the Islanders, so we’re right here in Brooklyn, but I live over in Manhattan. I’ve been playing the sport since I was four or so? Really little. But I just finished my fourth season on the Islanders. And it is exciting, I love being with my team and being on the ice, it’s one of the best feelings in the world.” 

“That must keep you busy, though?” Roberto asked gruffly. 

Mat froze. He couldn’t lie and say that he was home all the time, able to be there for Cass as often as he’d like to, because he wasn’t. But if he let on just how often he was gone, would that make him even more wary? “Oftentimes, yes,” Mat began slowly. “The team’s usually on two or so road trips a month, they’re usually about a week long. But they’re balanced out with plenty of home games, and there’s lots of guys who balance the job with a family and other responsibilities. I’m always excited to be able to be back in New York, I love it here. And to be with Cass.” Roberto nodded, not seemingly totally satisfied but content enough to not push the issue further. 

“He’s really good about spending time with me, abuelo, even though we’ve both got busy schedules,” Cass added, catching Roberto’s eye in the rearview mirror. “We meet in the morning before a class to get coffee, or lunch in between studying if I’ve got time. I go to every game I’m able to when he’s playing here in the city, or over in Jersey. We spend plenty of time together, he doesn’t blow me off. You don’t have to worry.” He seemed much more at ease with his granddaughter’s response. 

It was a whirlwind three hours around New York, Cass playing chauffeur as they went to the top of the Empire State Building — her pick — in St. Patrick’s Cathedral  — her grandpa’s pick — and around Central Park, stopping at one of the many pretzel carts for a snack. They dropped them off at the hotel, Cass’ eyes getting misty as her grandma pulled out the serape stole from her purse. Her fingers danced over the colors, the stripes of red and blue and pink and green, and knowing that it was made by the hands of someone so important to her made it all the more beautiful. The rest of her family was driving in later that night, after Nick got out of school, so everyone wouldn’t be together until the graduation ceremony the next day. 

The couple decided to get takeout on the way back to Mat’s apartment, Mat jumping out of the car to run in and pick up the order while Cass circled the block until he was out. As they sat on the couch, cuddled into each other as they broke into the boxes of Chinese food, Cass thought absentmindedly that Mat handled his chopsticks way better than she ever would have given him credit for. Her grandparents had been on her mind. More specifically, her grandparents and Mat had been on her mind. It wasn’t that she thought he had messed up in any way — she was positive he’d absolutely won over her grandma and her grandpa was slowly but surely coming around — but some lingering concerns about what they might think about their relationship. “I’m not sure that they’d actually care, but when you talk to them tomorrow maybe don’t mention how often I sleep over here? They’re wonderful people, but they’re a little old school about this stuff.” 

“This stuff?” Mat asked curiously. 

“Living together, sex before marriage, that kind of stuff.” 

“And how do you feel about it?” 

Cass raised an eyebrow at him. “Do you think you could ever get me to do something I didn’t want to do? I’m way too stubborn for that.” Mat threw his head back, laughing. “But seriously. I don’t make the decision lightly, because commitment and intimacy in that way is something really big and important to me. You already knew that I don’t do hookups, it’s just not my thing. But I can see this, us, going places. I want us to go places. And I’ve never been very good at listening to people when I don’t want to. So I’ve made my peace that my choices might not be ones everyone would be thrilled with, but it doesn’t really matter to me as long as I have you.” 

Mat nodded, putting down his food to card one hand through her curls. “I get that, I do. Obviously that’s not so much the attitude with a lot of the boys, but your principles are part of what makes you who you are, and I love who you are. Every part of you.” Cass smiled against his neck, leaning down and kissing him on the shoulder. “I want us to go places too, I hope you know that.”

“Glad to hear.”

They ate without speaking for a few more minutes until Mat broke the silence. “Where do you see yourself in five years?” 

“With you,” Cass answered honestly. “Here, or we could get a nice brownstone over in Brooklyn.” 

“Somewhere with a yard,” Mat mused. 

“Yeah, a yard would be nice,” Cass agreed. “I’d like to get a dog, I’ve always grown up with dogs and it would be nice to have someone to keep me company when you’re gone.” Her family’s two dogs, Patches and Scout, were back at the house in Connecticut, and on more than one occasion, Cass had made the two-hour drive up just to see them. She paused, glancing down at her hands. “In five years? You’d better have put a ring on my finger by then, Mat. I’ll be almost thirty. Approaching old maid status” 

Mat laughed, an easy, breathy sort of laugh that somehow erased all of the tension in the room. “I think you should double-hyphen.” 

Cass looked at him doubtfully. “Cabrera-Shaw-Barzal? Yeah, I’m going to have to pass on that one.” 

He shrugged, the corner of his lip pulled up in a half-smile. “Just saying. It’s got a ring to it.”

“Have you given much thought to what you’d want to do with your name when you get married?” Mat asked curiously. It really didn’t matter much to him, since it would ultimately be Cass’ decision, but he didn’t want to assume anything regardless. And it didn’t escape Cass that he said when, as if it was certain, as if it was a given. The surety made her heart flutter. 

Cass shook her head. “Not particularly. On one hand, I do like the idea of the whole family having the same name. It seems nice. Unified. But I don’t want to feel like I’m erasing my culture and who I am just because I’m getting married. And all due respect, chou,” Cass poked Mat’s cheek, “but Cabrera Shaw’s the name on my degrees. Cassidy Barzal didn’t go to law school.”

“Very fair,” Mat said with a chuckle. 

Cass took a deep breath. If it seemed like they were having the “future talk,” she figured it was best to go all in. “Do you want kids?” she asked, tentatively, hesitantly. It was obvious that Mat was good with kids, she’d seen as much, but being good with kids and wanting children of your own were two very different things. Cass had wanted to be a mom since she knew what a mom was, and even though they probably should have brought up the topic earlier, she wasn’t sure what she’d do if he said no. Thank God, she never had to find out. 

“Definitely,” Mat said, nodding. “Not now, obviously, we’re young and haven’t really settled down yet. If you got pregnant we’d make it work, but I don’t think either of us is looking to be parents right away. But in a couple years, once we’re married and have a proper house with space...Yeah, I’d like to have kids.” He looked over at Cass. “What about you?”

“Always wanted kids,” Cass responded fondly. “I loved growing up with siblings, and I know my parents were the same way. Two or three, I think. I’ve thought about adoption too, but obviously that’s way in the future.”

Mat kissed the top of her head. “We’ve got time.”

 May 22 (sat)

 The graduation ceremony itself wasn’t until noon, so Cass had more than enough time to get ready after waking up at 7. Alicia barrelled into her room at exactly 7:22, throwing a shirt at her and telling her to get dressed. Cass stumbled out of the room ten minutes later, pulling on socks and grabbing her phone from the charger by her door. “What are you guys trying to pull?” she asked, yawning and trying to wipe the sleep out of her eyes. 

“Uh, we’re going to the diner, duh,” Stella said with a smile, tossing Cass her purse. “Come on! You know it fills up early on weekends.” Glen’s Diner had become an apartment staple over the past few years, the restaurant having been the first place the four of them had eaten in the city when they moved, not having bought groceries yet and not wanting to pay the premium for delivery. It was cheap, open 24/7, and Cass would swear up and down that their blueberry pancakes were the best she’d ever had. 

They were seated just after 8, happily slurping coffee and stealing bites of each other’s breakfast twenty minutes later. It was a nice day and hadn’t gotten too hot yet, so they decided to walk back after finishing the meal. In reality, “going back” meant Alicia stopping to buy a new necklace, listening to a busker for a few minutes, and petting no fewer than five dogs on the one-mile walk. There was still plenty of time before they had to leave for the ceremony, but after Cass did her makeup and tamed her curls, there was just enough time to watch an episode of Parks & Rec before having to actually get her stuff together. Not as flexible as she once had been, Ryanne helped zip up the back of her dress, a white lace bodycon from her sorority days that she had definitely worn to at least two semiformals. Hey, Cass thought as she straightened her hemline, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. 

She had ironed her robe and put it into a dress bag the night before, and gently folded her school stole and the serape from her abuela into her purse. Mat’s necklace hadn’t left its place since Valentine’s. Her dad’s parents had given her a beautiful pair of pearl studs for her undergraduate graduation, and it felt only right to wear them for her next step. She fastened the ankle straps on her heels, and popped her head out to the living room. “Everyone ready?” She was met with a chorus of “yeses,” and grabbed her keys from their dish by the front door. 

“Let’s go get our girl graduated!” Alicia hollered into the street. 

The girls had originally objected to Cass driving herself to her own graduation, but relented as soon as Cass reminded them that she was the only one who knew where to find the free parking, and the rest of them only drove sedans. “Cheryl has way more room. Y’all want to be cramped on purpose?” 

“Fair point,” Stella had said begrudgingly. 

Exactly twenty-six minutes later, Cass pulled into a spot about two blocks away from the arena where she would be graduating in an hour’s time, hugging each of her friends as Ryanne handed her the dress bag. “You’re going to kill it in there,” she said, rubbing her back. 

Cass laughed. “Ry, all I’ve got to do is walk across a stage without tripping.”

She shrugged. “It’s a fine art that few have mastered.” 

Cass entered through the side, flashing her ID to the security guard standing by the door. Half an hour later, everyone had been ushered into their seats, carefully arranged in alphabetical order. For the most part, Cass was friendly with everyone in her class; if they weren’t outwardly hostile to her, she saw no reason why they deserved anything other than kindness, but was relieved to see Robin sitting next to her. “You excited?” Robin asked, brushing a piece of her auburn hair behind her ear. The lobby doors must have opened, because as she asked, crowds started to mill into the seats, waving at anyone who would catch their eye. 

Cass bounced her head. “I am, but it’s kind of surreal, you know? I knew we’d get to this point, obviously. It’s what we’ve been working towards for seven years, really. But the idea that it all essentially comes down to this…”

“An hour, a few handshakes, and a piece of paper,” Robin helpfully supplied. 

She nodded. “Yeah. It’s almost anticlimactic in a way? Like sure, we’ve got our JDs after this, but knowing we’ve still got to pass the bar. We’re not over the finish line yet.”

“Columbia has a 97% pass rate, and you’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met, Cass. And I’ve spent three years surrounded by the smartest people I’ve ever met.”

“Fair,” Cass said, “it’s just kind of a weird feeling, you know?” Robin nodded. “And plus, for most of us, we’ve pretty much spent our whole lives in school. Aside from positions as summer associates, or part-time jobs and internships, we don’t really know how to do anything other than school. It’s just a little bit of a daunting thought to suddenly feel like we’re being thrown out to the wolves without really knowing what to expect.” Cass’ phone, which she wasn’t technically supposed to have but had snuck in anyways, chose that moment to buzz with a text notification. It was from Mat.

Met up with the crew! Can’t wait to see you walk across that stage, Cass. I love you and we’re all so proud of you. Mat had attached a photo of everyone she had brought with her — both sets of grandparents, her parents and siblings, and roommates. 

“Your boyfriend is nauseatingly cute,” Robin observed, looking over her shoulder at the message. 

Cass laughed. “That’s true, but I knew what I was getting myself into.” The music started ten minutes later, and the ceremony began. If Cass was being honest, she didn’t really remember much of anything from the first half of the ceremony, before the conferral of diplomas. She was so excited and nervous and unbelievably ready all at the same time that all she recalled from the dean’s speech and the student speeches were vague comments about their “awesome responsibility” and “duty to pursue truth and justice” and “commitment to fight for what is right over what is easy.” 

As soon as she realized it, her row was being ushered into line to receive their diplomas. “Cassidy María Cabrera Shaw.” She heard her name, but really had no clue who had spoken it. The dean? One of her professors? As Cass walked up the steps and across the stage, the only thing she could think was don’t trip don’t trip don’t trip. Then she was handed a diploma, flashed a brilliant smile for the photographer, and shook hand after hand after hand before walking off the other side of the stage. She was pretty sure she could hear Mat and Noah yelling their congratulations from her seat on the floor. 

Having a name towards the front of the alphabet meant that Cass was almost always called on quickly in class, or on roll call, or at graduation, as the case was. But that meant that she had to sit, quietly and politely, for the other four hundred names to be called. And it took awhile. After Robin Cahill came Wesley Coleman, then Samuel Cogswell, then Fiona Chan. Cass didn’t mind having to sit through the whole thing, especially when Fiona, Les, Samaira, and her other friends crossed the stage — she cheered as much as anybody — but it was a long time to be sitting in a folding chair and the thousands of people packed into a small space didn’t help her temperature regulation. 

There was the benediction and congratulations, and then the recessional of the graduates. Graduates, Cass thought. She was a graduate. She had finished, she was done, she had accomplished the one thing she wanted most to do since she was a little girl watching Legally Blonde for the first time, looking at Elle Woods and thinking I can do that. And she had. Her feet carried her to the back room of their own accord, where she picked up her bag and was engulfed in a flurry of hugs, congratulations, and kisses on the cheek from her friends, the people who she had spent countless late nights in the library with, bar hopping to celebrate the end of finals, and afternoons on each other’s apartment couches, yelling fact patterns at each other and trying to come up with an analysis before the timer went off.  

Following the stream of sky blue graduation gowns, Cass walked outside, waving at her family when she spotted Eliana hanging off of a lamppost in the courtyard to get a better view. Her sister nearly tackled her as she made her way to the group. “Cass. I already knew you were brilliant, and I still think  you’re the smartest out of any of us,” she gestured between the two of them and Noah, “but now you’ve got the degree to prove it. I’m so proud of you.” 

Noah was next. “You worked hard, and I know how badly you wanted this. You’re a really good sister.” He wasn’t usually a big talker, and Cass’ eyes definitely got a little misty as he spoke. He had verbally committed to Minnesota State the week before, and Mat might have been more excited than even Cass when he heard the news. It was an incredible program that had a serious track record of sending players to the NHL, and she was so proud to see her little brother doing what he loved. Her mom and both grandmas were crying, as expected, and Grandpa Joe wrapped her up in a hug as soon as he got the chance. 

Mat had been hanging towards the back of the crowd, not wanting to feel like he was intruding on family time, until her dad nudged him forward. “Go say hi to your girl, Mat,” Patrick said.

“Will do,” Mat said, squeezing Cass’ hand and pressing a quick kiss to the top of her head. “Sometimes it blows my mind how incredible you are,” he said. “Everyone’s already said how smart you are, and every bit of that is true. But you’re so much more than that, you know?” His thumb rubbed over her hand. “You’re beautiful, and curious, and you always keep me on my toes. You’re so passionate about your work, and you’ve got the biggest heart out of anyone I know. You’ve never met a person you didn’t want to help. And I promise I’m not biased just because I’m in love with you.” 

Cass gave a watery laugh, blinking and thanking God she had the foresight to wear waterproof mascara. “God, I love you, Mat.”

Her dad had always been the picture type, insisting on documenting every waking moment. He was the living embodiment of “pics or it didn’t happen,” for better or worse. He took a few of her with her law school friends, then Alicia snapped one with just her immediate family, then there was one with everyone. Cass also got a picture with Mat, where he was bending down to kiss her, the tassel on her mortarboard just barely brushing his nose. Then she was in one with all of the seniors on the law review, and a friend pulled her away for a few with the Latinx Student Association. By the time they finally managed to tear Patrick away from his camera, it was time to head back to the hotel and get ready for dinner. 

Mat got Patrick to send him the photo of him and Cass, and was about to post it on Instagram when he hesitated. “Hey, is it cool if I post this?” Mat said, showing Cass his phone. Most people knew who she was, and he had posted pictures of her before, but they had never been this obvious, this clear, this real. 

“Go for it.”

Mat pressed post. So, so proud of my incredible girlfriend @casscshaw for graduating law school. You’re one of the smartest, most empathetic people I know, and you’re going to make an amazing lawyer. 

Cass grinned, a big, genuine smile as she was surrounded by her family, the people who meant the most to her — whether they were related or not. She looked up at Mat, who was smiling softly down at her as he reached one hand up to fix her tassel. “What’s next?”

[kariachi]

Some random headcanons for the holiday

Before OS the only times Ben and Gwen saw each other were Thanksgiving, Christmas, and the 4th of July

The extended Tennyson family are 100% those people that decorate for every Good Old American Holiday, trying to be something resembling a postcard

The Bellwood plumbers do not do this. They used to, way back when, but then Devin showed up, went ‘oh so we can decorate for our holidays’ and started doing so and encouraging others to do so and by the time the Plumbers Kids parents were joining the lot holiday decorations had been banned entirely because 1) it turns out between the various cultures there were always decorations going up, 2) Devin’s decorations included things like animal bones, and 3) how dare people expect the higher-ups on Earth to openly acknowledge alien and non-white-Christian cultures

Kevin has celebrated Thanksgiving maybe four times in his life, all of those were with his stepfather’s family, he has not eaten turkey in late November since he was nine (“It’s not my fault, turkey season ends back at the farmhouse in fucking October”)

For a 1-3 week span in late-November/early-December he gets together with one-to-all his relatives on his mom’s side, they head into the woods, and you don’t see them again until their allotted time is done or they’re delivering game to a soup kitchen

The non-meat parts get divided up and either used by the family, sold directly, or smuggled offworld where you can get more for them (“So many people look at smuggling like it’s a one-way thing, but if you’re smart-”)

Argit generally spends the time doing his own thing or with Kevin

Rook generally spends the time with the Tennysons, occasionally talking about harvest festivals back home (would it be nice to celebrate that instead? yes. is he going to do so before Rayona moves to Earth and starts setting some fucking boundaries? no because the only person he knows who would come is maybe Argit) (Kevin has standing plans, sorry, and the Tennysons... are the Tennysons)

The rest of the Plumber Kids Thanksgiving things vary

Alan’s family goes out to his maternal grandmother’s every year, it’s very traditional, he will fight you over a sweetpotato casserole (and has fought his brothers)

There’s generally three turkeys at the event- one smoked, one roasted, one deep-fried- all of which are raised by Alan’s grandparents. They don’t raise much anymore, their children having taken over for the most part, but they insist on raising the turkeys and always cook the meal out of their own garden

Cooper spends the weekend with the Albrights

Thanksgiving for the Wheels family kinda got absorbed into a Kinet feast day earlier in the month celebrating the end of the stormy season where people get the chance to fucking breathe a bit

What they serve varies, it’s generally a big assortment of shit from their various cultures and sometimes the timelines match up and Kevin’s family sends them some fresh game

The Armstrongs celebrate it, some. It’s not a big deal but there’s a few extra sides at dinner and generally some sort’ve ‘exotic’ meat for the main (sometimes they go for alien meats, which are much more expensive but also Manny’s mother really appreciates when they get shit from home)

(Manny also has not had a turkey in late November in many years. You would think, with his family owning a butchershop, this wouldn’t be the case, but that shits for customers)

Elena’s taken to spending the holiday with the Armstrongs

Mike hasn’t had a Thanksgiving since his father died and has mixed feelings about the situation (on the one side, Thanksgiving is massive amounts of high calorie food, on the other, no having to listen relatives he only saw once a year make snide comments about how much he’s eating because apparently if you’re a mutant three servings of potatoes is excessive)

[comfymommy]

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[trillian-anders]

chambers - ii

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Violence, Angst

Word Count: 4429

Description: Post-Endgame. Steve Rogers has passed away from old age. The one remarkable thing is that no one knew his heart would be in the condition it was. He was able to save one more life. After receiving his heart, strange things start happening. Including something that would change your life forever. (Very loosely based on the Netflix series of the same name.)

Frequent colds, high blood pressure, heart palpitations, asthma, anxiety, prior suffering of scarlet fever and rheumatic fever, and a family history of stroke, diabetes, cancer, and heart disease. Thanks Dad. 

The enlistment office was cold. The plastic chair they had him in was sticking against the backs of his thin thighs. You’ve never been this thin in your entire life. Your breathing--Steve’s breathing--was fine for now, but you could feel a rattling beginning in your chest. Just trying to get through this enlistment examination and then we can go home, light a fire, and eat the last tin of beans. 

“Rogers.” The man examined you, took a deep sigh and stamped your papers. 4F. Denied. 

This was the first one, in Brooklyn. The war has just started. Steve was trying to jump into the wagon early, trying against all odds to get his feet on the ground overseas. Do what he can, just like Dad did in the War to End All Wars. It’s too bad the war didn’t live up to its name. These memories came to you as you sat in a similar situation.

You were in grey shorts and a matching t shirt, Avengers logo in black on each in a lab, waiting for the man you had an appointment with. You jokingly thought to yourself about what it would have been like to fight in a war, lay your life on the line for a good noble cause, and you had to remind yourself that you truly hoped those memories never came to surface. 

You swallowed roughly, shifting on the sterile paper beneath you, waiting. There was a two way mirror here, you remembered. As you looked at it you wondered who would be watching on the other side. Coming to see the freak who possesses the heart of Captain America. You hadn’t seen Sam or Bucky yet, thank god. Two hours ago a car showed up in front of your building and brought you to a jet bringing you to the compound, no sign of the super soldier or his winged friend in sight. You supposed you couldn’t blame them. This is a really strange situation to say the least. 

It also didn’t hurt that you knew them in a severely intimate way whereas you were a complete stranger to them. It was also strange that you missed them, terribly. Your heart ached for them. Steve’s heart ached for them. 

“Miss Y/L/N?” Two people entered the room, Bruce and Wanda. Your heart ached a little more. It was almost like reuniting with an old friend, you wonder if things will be the same, pick up right where you left off, the closeness you felt. But that’s Steve talking, not you. “I’m Bruce Banner and this is Wanda Maximoff,” the gentle giant offered with a soft smile, “but I’m sure you already knew that.” 

“It’s so strange,” You expressed, “Feeling like I know all of you so well, but being a complete stranger.” You laughed nervously and wrapped your arms around your middle, swinging your feet slightly as they hung off the edge of the examining table. 

“I couldn’t imagine honestly,” Bruce moved closest to you, Wanda opting to stay by the door. “Okay so first I’m going to take some blood if that’s okay with you?” He pulled a tray out from a medical drawer, setting it up beside you. 

“Of course,” You smiled softly. The trust in Bruce was intense. You knew Steve fought beside him. You have distinct memories from the Battle of New York, but more than that the nights of eating take out at the kitchen counter and listening to him babble about isolating samples of Caps blood to synthesize cures for disease, but also how he couldn’t imagine creating a world of super soldiers so the idea was nixed as soon as he spat it out. Bruce Banner had a good moral compass. He can be trusted. 

He quickly worked, wrapping a medical tourniquet onto your arm and finding a vein, filling six vials of blood. He bandaged you and removed the tourniquet just as quickly. 

“So you have these flashbacks right?” Bruce asked as he labeled the vials, “You have seizures during?”

“Not always, but it always involves some sort of passing out.” He nods, scribbling notes on his notepad. 

“And the agents in the alley?”

“No clue,” You admitted honestly. “My body,” Looking down at your hands, “It moved on its own, I had no control.” He pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose. 

“Okay, well today is going to be strictly medical, but I would like to talk to you about some of the tests we would like to run, if you consent to them.” It was hard. The decision seemed so easy. Let them test so that you can figure out what the hell is going on and hopefully put a stop to it, but also you’d been poked and prodded your whole life. 

You were born with the heart condition. You’ve literally been having surgeries since the day you were born. What if it never ends? What if they never find out why you and Steve are so connected? What if they do and you can’t keep the heart? 

“Whatever outcome, we will not put your life at risk.” This was the first time Wanda has spoken during this entire visit. Your eyes flicked over to hers. A maternal instinct bloomed in your chest. Steve had a fond love for her, when she was parted from Ultron and her brother died she had leaned hard into Clint, but when Clint retired, Steve took his place. Making sure she was okay, making sure she practiced wielding her powers, making sure she ate everyday. That same affection could be found in you now, your eyes teared at the thought. “We will figure this out and keep you alive, even if it means getting you a new heart.” 

It was what you needed to hear and she knew it. Part of her powers, but also she knew you would trust her. You nodded your head, looking back to Bruce. “Let's do it.” 

You knew this memory. You HATED this memory. 

Bucky Barnes. The handsome, charismatic, Bucky Barnes. James the dames would sigh as he nibbled their ears. He was screaming and there was nothing you could do to stop it. These videos you were obsessed with looking for clues. Where would he go? How could you find him? Sam was looking, but every day that Bucky was gone was a day his trail grew colder and colder. 

He was strapped into a metal chair, skin damp, ice still trapped in his hair. They had just woken him up, strapping him into the chair, electrodes coming to lay over his face and he fucking screamed. It was horrifying, why were you torturing yourself like this. You should have gone back to that ravine and retrieved his body. You weren’t even sure where he fell, but you should have searched that whole fucking mountain to find him. He would have for you. 

You let him down.

You fucking let him down. 

A gasp and you were awake. Damp with sweat you swung your legs over the side of your bed, panting. The guilt. So consuming. Your stomach churned and you quickly found your way to the bathroom, dropping to your knees in order to wretch into the toilet. Body shivering from the cold. You placed a hand over your now racing heart, crying against the porcelain. You missed Bucky.

You didn’t even know Bucky. 

Your heart was aching for him. Fuck. It had been a week since your initial visit with Bruce other than taking your blood and giving you a normal checkup not much else was done. He wanted to go easy on you, give you a little time to adjust and come to terms with your newfound anomaly. And for whatever reason right now you really wanted to run. Like… for stress relief. When has that thought ever crossed your mind? Who even were you? 

Oh right, Steve was a runner. You could remember him lapping Sam Wilson on multiple occasions as they took their morning runs together. Your body burned with energy and you checked the time, it was 5 am. You had closed the bar last night and didn’t get home until one. 

“Four hours of sleep.” You groaned. “Fucking great.” This itch wouldn’t give up so you dusted off your old gym shoes and strapped yourself into a sports bra, jacket, and sweats and you were out the door. 

Running. At 5 am. Who would have fucking thought. 

Old City was close, and you found yourself finding it. Not many cars out this early, but they’d grow in number to gridlock during rush hour. As you pounded the pavement, passing building after building, block after block you found yourself not even close to being out of breath, the energy not even close to being diminished. If you couldn’t get rid of this massive rush of energy you had been feeling then a mid morning nap was out of the question, and you had to be back at work at four. 

You picked up the pace, passing Independence Hall, running the museum mile, before running back towards the direction of your apartment. You were flying. You’ve never run so fast in your life. You were running faster than the cars were driving on the still mildly empty streets. This was wild. 

You weren’t a runner, but Steve Rogers was. It was almost like in the alley, where your body just sorta went and your brain followed. It was Steve’s body right now, you were just along for the ride. 

Your legs felt like jelly as you walked up the steps, adrenaline wearing off. You just barely made it inside your door before you collapsed on the ground in extreme pain. It felt like you tore every muscle in your legs, you let out a silent scream trying not to wake your neighbors, fumbling for your phone. You couldn’t move your legs. 

So you did the only thing you knew to do, you called Bruce. 

Since Steve’s death Bucky Barnes liked doing one thing and one thing only. Staying busy. Anything that crossed Fury’s desk, big or small, he wanted it and he would fight every other agent in the compound in order to get it. You need some simple recon on a businessman you think might have connections to old Hydra sympathizers? He’s on it. You need someone to go in a diffuse a bomb? He’s on it. You need someone to come get your cat out of a tree, please stop him on the side of the road. He’s begging you. 

It hurt bad enough when Steve said he was going to stay with Peggy. He resigned to the fact that his very selfless friend deserves to do a very selfish thing. He wanted Steve to be happy, and when you love someone you’ll let them be happy no matter the personal cost. But when Steve returned as an old man, and he had to physically watch him waste and die. That was probably something he could never forgive Steve for. He just couldn’t.

The coffee in his cup was basically water. The cheap motel Sam got them a room in was a fucking joke. Two single beds, a coffee maker from the 70s, and he didn’t even want to think about what was embedded in the shag carpet. Shit thing was they were leaving today, mission was over, recon was successful, information on a new budding cartel trafficking humans overseas was obtained. Procedure had them going back to report to Fury, getting a stat on how many people they should bring and what approach and then they’ll be back on the field. 

He can’t wait. 

Sam threw the now full duffel on the floor by the front door, turning to his friend. “I need a fucking break Bucky.” He groaned, stretching out his back. Bucky scoffed, 

“Then take a fucking break Sam.” He finished off his coffee, tossing the cup in the trash and picking up his own duffel. Sam looked at him wearily. 

“You need a break too.” Sam told Bucky as they left the motel room. The small plane they had taken over here sat for them 2 km into the woods behind this dingy motel, and that’s where they were headed, ready to take a quick flight home. 

“I don’t need a break,” Bucky protested, “I know when I need to take a break.” 

Sam looked at Bucky incredulously, “You literally got stabbed last week and hours later went back out on another mission. You’re taking a break.” Two duffels thrown into chairs on the plane, Bucky sitting himself in the pilot’s seat. A red, silver, and blue shield sat between them as Sam took his own seat in copilot. 

“I don’t need a break, not yet.” Sam rolled his eyes, beginning take off procedure. 

“You’re gonna have to deal with it sometime my man.” Bucky rolled his eyes at that, “Holding things in-”

“Don’t go all VA on me right now birdbrain.” Sam stared at Bucky a moment longer, trying to pick his next words out carefully. 

“Buck-” Saved by the bell. A phone ringing in Sam’s pocket. He pulled the cell out looking at Bruce’s name flashing across the screen. “Bruce? What’s-” Bucky stared him down, heart jumping at the prospect of flying somewhere else, anywhere but home. Sam quickly hung up, buckling his seat belt. “We gotta go to Philly, pick Y/N up.” Bucky’s heart dropped. He didn’t want that. 

“You’ve torn every muscle in your legs.”  Bruce plainly stated. You were currently in the cradle created by Helen Cho. “Just by running?” Your mouth opened and quickly shut again, shrugging. 

“Fast, I was running so fast.” Your eyes scanned the ceiling as you felt the machine slowly repairing the muscles of your legs. Bucky Barnes scoffed beside you, grunting when Sam elbowed him in his ribs. 

“Like-”

“Like….,” You looked over to Sam and Bucky before turning your eyes back to Bruce, “Steve fast.” Bruce stared at you a moment before looking away. He walked over to the large glass windows on the opposite side of the room. Not speaking. Thinking. 

“How is that possible? Muscle memory sure, but your body shouldn’t be able to move that way. Steve’s top speed is 60 mph.” You looked at him wide eyed. 

“Maybe that’s why her legs are shredded.” Bucky said with some humor. He was being a dick. Why was he being a dick? Sam glared at him. 

“Go file the report Buck, I’ll catch you up later.” Bucky turned to his friend with a glare, 

“Why do I have to-”

“I’ll catch you up later.” He said sternly. Bucky called it his Captain’s voice. Like the one Steve would use when he knew something you didn’t and you just needed to follow him. Into battle or just to leave the room. Bucky acquiesced, but not before casting one more glance at you in the cradle, hands clasped over your belly, looking at him with wet eyes. 

“So your body has this muscle memory of the activities Steve used to do,” Bruce began to pace. “Running and fighting-”

“Steve was really good at art too.” Sam offered. He took a seat in a chair by Bruce’s pacing, between you and the green giant. “That would be a safe activity to see if you’d be just as good.” You nodded in agreement. 

“But for the more dangerous activities, your mind seems to think you’re able to do them. So the real issue are instances like this, where your mind goes and your body follows no matter the cost.” Bruce was looking at you now, thinking about how to proceed next. 

“And this is a pretty high cost.” You said. Both men agreed.

…

The report was on Fury’s desk an hour later. Bucky’s hands gripping the leather chair across from him as his eye scanned the pages. “So what’s next?” Bucky asked. Like an addict asking for a fix. Fury studied him for a moment. “I can be ready to go back in with a task force in four hours, quick nap, time to clean my guns-”

“You’re suspended from missions until further notice.” Fury threw the folder onto his desk, waiting for the backlash. 

“What?” Bucky’s heart started racing. Fucking Sam. 

“Sam recommended it, but I was already going to suspend you until you can get your head on straight. I just needed a second person to sign off.” Bucky studied him for a moment. Trying to detect the lie. 

“I’m fine, I need to be back out on the field.” Bucky gestured to the window behind him where recruits were running drills. “Who else are you going to use?” 

“We have agents other than you Barnes.” He sounds tired, “You haven’t been out of the field since Steve died and we have an issue that came up that I know you don’t want anything to do with. It’s not good for you.” 

“So this is about her?” Bucky thought back to your wet eyes, he felt guilty for being such an ass. It just sorta came out without thinking. He had a hard time doing that when he was in front of you, thinking. 

When they went to pick you up, Sam hadn’t given him any warning in what they were about to walk into. They found you where you had fallen, sobbing in pain, body going into shock. He felt himself stunned. Your legs were black and blue, every inch of skin bruised. Sam yelled something at him he couldn’t hear and he watched Sam pick you up from the floor, clearly hearing the whimpering of pain you were steadily released from your body.  

His heart fell to the floor as your half lidded eyes met his, unfocused. 

It was terrifying. At first he felt some anger well up, who had done this to you? How did this happen? But when it was revealed that you had done it to yourself, that your muddled mind and heart caused you to run 60 mph into complete muscle destruction he found himself angry at you. It’s not her fault, he tried to remind himself, how could it be her fault?

He found himself, not for the first time, angry with Steve. It left him confused and broken. Steve on his deathbed. In a hospital, doctors ready to take his heart as soon as he took his last breath. It was planned. Steve had been in the hospital for a month before he died, no one knew why he was getting EKG’s almost daily and why he was moved so closely to the operating wing. He didn’t tell anyone. He was leaving his heart to her. Without even knowing her. What a good fucking guy. Bucky hated him for it. Barely getting to mourn before they carted him out into the OR to cut him open and shift his bloody, healthy heart into a woman who had a weak and dying one. 

It was hard. This was hard. 

“This is about you Barnes.” Fury leaned over his desk, folding his hands in front of him. “You continue doing this and you’ll be liable for a mistake. We can’t afford mistakes. Not when we are finally gaining ground back. You’re suspended from field work effective immediately, if you want to make yourself useful around here train some recruits, organize some files, or maybe help Bruce in the lab. His hands are pretty full.” With that he was dismissed. Fists meeting a punching bag not soon after. 

“What am I going to do?” You cried softly. “I can’t keep my job if I have to take a month off.” Bruce looked up at her from his microscope, the cradle still working on the muscles in her legs. 

“You’re on your feet for 12 hours a day,” Bruce explained, “You’re basically getting a new pair of legs right now, you’re gonna have to take it easy for a while.” 

“I’m sure we can pick up your bills.” Sam offered, “If that’s what you’re worried about.” You shake your head, hands coming up to wipe the tears from your eyes. 

“I won’t have a job to go back to,” You explained, “They’ll replace me.” Sam sighed and put down the Sudoku book he had been working on. 

“I’m saying this because it’s what Steve would have wanted Y/N.” He looked at you, but you couldn’t meet his eyes. “We will do whatever it takes to make sure you are taken care of.” You knew Sam was a good guy. You knew he worked at the VA not because he needed the money but because he genuinely cared about the people there. And you knew he helped Steve when the whole world was against him. Twice. 

“I don’t want you to feel-” you started, being cut off by Bruce,

“This is not an obligation. We want to help you, all of us do.” Bruce offered, “Not just because it’s what Steve would have wanted but also because this is a terrifying situation and we want you to be able to live a long, healthy life with or without these life altering issues.” He stood from his chair, bringing papers over and adjusting his glasses. “You’ll need to rest. For a while. I’m still examining your blood and tomorrow I’d like to get a look at your heart for myself, would that be okay?” 

You sighed heavily before replying, “Yeah, that would be okay.” 

Your legs were still sore, even after spending 12 hours in the cradle. You weren’t able to walk yet. Wanda was kind enough to help you use the restroom and helped you into the room they were going to have you staying in temporarily. “Do you want to make a list of items and their locations in your apartment you’d like me to bring here?” She asked. 

“Am I not going home?” She turned to look at you like she was caught doing something she wasn’t supposed to. 

“Well…” She had given you half chicken, 2 sweet potatoes, and  a bowl broccoli with a large pat of butter. Bruce said you needed nutrients and a lot of them. “We can’t risk you doing something to your body that we won't be able to repair. Just until the testing is done. I’m sorry.” She played with the ends of her hair. “I thought they already told you. I’m sure they’re going to ask you tomorrow.” You sighed, rubbing the scar on your chest gently before looking up at Wanda.

“It’s fine, don’t worry about it.” You were starving. “I understand.” She gave you a soft look you couldn’t really read before turning the tv on, working with you to find something to watch as you ate your dinner. You were the hungriest you’d ever been in your life. While in the cradle you were given snacks, but it was hard to eat completely laying down. The work your body was put through by the cradle repairing your muscles caused a major calorie deficit, and the fatigue you’ve been feeling all day was the price you’d been paying. 

You almost choked halfway through eating, looking up from your plate to the television screen and seeing Steve Rogers staring back at you. He looked so real, the young Captain America, the person he was before the battle for the infinity stones. The Steve Rogers he was on every poster and war movie. What is happening?

Wanda’s hand began to pat your back as you tried to clear your airways, “Breathe, c’mon breathe.”

“Breathe, c’mon breathe.” Bucky’s hand was hard against your back, you couldn’t get air. “C’mon pal, that’s it.” It was a wet feeling in your throat, coughing the lard wad of mucus into the handkerchief held in Bucky’s palm. Gasping for breath Bucky was quick to toss the soiled napkin to the side, bringing your inhaler up to your mouth, thin weak hands coming up to grasp it as you inhaled the medicine, feeling your lungs expand and relax. “You okay?”

You could feel a rattle still in your chest. “Yeah I’m fine.” Steve was sick, which wasn’t anything new. You could feel the embarrassment. 

“I hate you being here alone.” Bucky stood from his chair next to the bed, getting up to turn the radio down a few decibels. “You could come move in with us? Ma loves you.” You could feel yourself shake your head. 

“I’ve lived in this apartment my whole life Buck.” 

“Then I’ll move in here! You can move into your Ma’s room and I’ll take your old room Stevie.” You sighed, resting your back against the pillows Bucky had so carefully propped against your back. “You won’t be able to afford this place forever doing sketches for funnies. You’ve barely got any food in the icebox.” 

“If you want to move in here Buck I’m not against it, but I’m staying right where I am.” Bucky nodded, hands on his hips turning to face his frail friend. 

“I make enough money at the canary that we should be just fine here Stevie.” This was a year before Bucky was sent off for war. A year and a half before Steve became Captain America. You wondered if either of them could sense what was coming. 

The piece of chicken that had been lodged in your throat was soon popped out and floated midair with a red energy surrounding it. Wanda had pulled it from your throat. Steve was gone. 

“Are you okay?” She asked, worry evident in her voice. 

“Yeah,” you nodded, losing your appetite. “I think I should go to bed.” You pushed the tray away from you and leaned back against your pillows. In that moment you could feel the Steve. Like a layer on top of your own body. His frail one, shivering with a chill he couldn’t shake, lungs rattling, weak. 

“If you need anything at all just alert FRIDAY.” You nodded, ignoring her worried eyes as she left the room. You needed to sleep.

You were exhausted and this day felt three days long. You just needed to sleep. So far away from everything that was going on here. And you were praying against all odds that Steve wouldn’t follow you there either. 

Those prayers went unanswered. 

.

.

.

@albinotigerpython​ @nutellakirb​ @witch-of-letters​ @torntaltos​

[caribou-stories]

Ni-ka-wi (My Mom)

Today is Mother’s day and I will be honouring and celebrating my late “nikawi” with a meal and traditional hand drum song. It has been 3 years since nikawi travelled back to the spirit world. During the month of May and leading up to, I am reminded of her power and sacredness. Sometimes it hurts a little too much, but I revere her memory to the best of my ability. She loved it when I sang particular songs at home, so that’s what I continue to take care of my spirit. The grief around losing your first home is unexplainable. You have to lose it to understand it.

The influence she has been in my life so far has been humbling. She raised me to be loving, free, and gifted in wealth. She catered to the artist that dwells inside of me, and so have the matriarchs before her. I remember one summer trip we took up in the Timmins area. We were living in Sudbury with my grandparents John and Sarah at that time. The drive up to Timmins, Matheson onto Kirkland Lake was memorable to say the least. I must have been about 13 years old and our original plan was to go to one of our first Sundance lodges that came to Northern Ontario, so we can visit relatives visiting from being away for so long. The highway was peaceful and we enjoyed ourselves, listening to Def Leppard and laughing the entire way along. Once we arrived to Matheson, which is a very small town, we were greeted by a vast dark sky and some casual lamp posts here and there. We were a little shook that there wasn’t anyone really in sight, except a few workers from abroad at a small motel. Nikawi drove up to these folks and began asking, “do you guys know where Nitaskinan is? It’s a place where we have ceremonies”. She was so spunky and had a good set of interpersonal skills. When she worked at a hot food deli, she never cheap-ed out on the wing sauce or cheese on the pizzas for her customers. Everyone remembers her for her wit and charm. Now days, I have a good chuckle revisiting that time she asked some non-indigenous folks for directions to our ceremonial grounds because although they has not the slightest idea of where to point us, one of the ladies kindly guided us to the OPP station nearby for some help. I guess she wanted to exude the same kindness nikawi approached her with. But, we were too shy so we decided we would be back, and kept driving onward to Kirkland Lake. Turns out we had relatives staying at an elders’ home there since the hospital in Attawapiskat flooded. Nikawi’s now late aunt Maniashin (Angela) and late uncle Eli, along with one more elder I cannot recall, were there and we were going to go visit them. 

Upon our arrival that late evening, we almost did not find a place to stay. Luckily, there were two hotels in town and we managed to get a room. I remember feeling unsure of the situation we found ourselves in but, very safe in nikawi’s care and protection. In the morning, we got some Mcdonald’s and proceeded to check out where the elders’ home was. She asked me to navigate some directions by mapping a way there while we had some free wifi. Once we found the right place, I remember arriving onto the floor with my mom, being mindful of the hospital like finishes on the railings and wallpapers. It was nice, well kempt. It was a small floor but nice, very intimate and homey. Nikawi bee-lined to the nurses station and asked where we could find Angela and Eli. I followed her to their room and saw a face resembling my Gookum Sarah very much. Her light hazel or blue eyes, matched with a light grey haircut that fell to her shoulders. With her cute button nose, and ever warming smile, I met my great-aunt Maniashin (Angela) who was my Gookum (Grandmother) Sarah’s older sister, and Eli their older brother. I was named after my Gookum Sarah (my mom’s mom). I listened to their conversations during that afternoon, enjoying our beautiful language. I’ve never felt more safe than around my grandparents who only speak ininimoowan (Cree). These days, I can keep up with conversations but less than I could as a child. I wish I could converse in proper ininimoowan. 

After a bit, Eli and nikawi went somewhere he needed her assistance. I sat with Maniashin for a few moments until she began asking me things about myself. When she asked if I make anything with my hands, and I said eh heh (yes). Her eyes lit up and smiled a beautiful grin. I told her I made gloves, beadwork, slippers, and other artistic crafts. She then began to share, once you’ve been making these things for so long, you won’t be able to do it anymore. Your grandmothers and I cannot do these things anymore because of our bones. You need to carry this tradition on, just like all of your grandmothers (Angela, Sarah, Madeline, and Pauline, all sisters and my maternal grandmothers). You’re young and you’re able to do it, so keep doing it. Don’t forget about what you have now. Over the years, I’ve begun to understand how important that means, like really means, not just to me. Nikawi always nurtured my artistic abilities by always providing me with crafts like markers, paper, paint, crayons, and then a miniature sewing machine, small pieces of fabric, and then more onto beads, leather, and good scissors. Since I had grown up in the care of Nikawi and my Mooshum and Gookum (Grandfather and Grandmother), I was very fortunate that I could spend moments of my childhood watching and learning about what Gookum was making. She was often crafting up nibagan (goose down blanket) bags made out of heavy duty canvas and doubled down straps, or hemming a pair of goose-beaded moccasins bigger for my younger cousin who’s now at a staggering 6′8′’. 

My Gookum Sarah has always played a big role in passing along knowledge and skill to me. I remember when I was making my first pair of gloves. I used Gookum’s beadwork and based my work off Maniashin (Angela’s) semi-completed glove. The leather pieces were complete except the lining and fur. All the materials were given to me by my Gookum. I had such a hard, testing time with the lining. Little did I know, Gookum advised Nikawi not to try to help me because getting frustrated is a part of the learning. I would figure it out, and I did (to the best of my abilities!). I must have put a few solid days of work into these gloves. Upon completion, I showed my grandparents and mom my first pair of gloves. I was rained with kisses, hugs, and excited laughter. Gookum taught me how to braid the 4 strand yarn strings for the gloves, something that a lot of Omushkego folks have on their gloves or mitts so they can hang off the shoulders. I was especially excited to learn how to make the signature pom-pom tassels. Ever since that day, I always showcase my completed projects to somebody. 

My Gookum Sarah wearing the gloves I just completed assembling. 

Rounding back to the story, we stayed in Kirkland Lake for 2 days and it was a powerful experience to watch my mom be with our elders. During our time with our elders, nikawi took care of their needs. There was no hesitance, she just did what she needed to do. She fed our elder relative her food, and made her tea while she conversed with Eli and Maniashin. The lunch hour was full of laughter, head nodding, and sitting together. One last elder we payed a brief visit on our way out, was an elder nikawi held in high reverence. I cannot recall which elder this was. She described him as this influential, outspoken leader-man she had grown up looking up to. When she would describe him, I imagine how he looked like as a young man while we were in the elevator. Strong, tall, lean, wearing a weathered outdoorsmen coat, beaver pelt hat, matched with jeans or tough twill, and footed with traditional winter moccasins that wrap around the ankles and shins. When we arrived on his floor, we saw him sitting in a chair and nikawi began to greet Mooshum. He was very elderly now. I watched and smiled, then she began to shed some tears. He comforted her and held her hand. It was a powerful exchange to witness.

Nikawi was a Personal Support Worker in Fort Albany, so she spent a lot of time taking care of elders for years. She still worked while she was pregnant with me and she told me that the elders loved to greet me and acknowledge the journey I was making into this world. Her gift as a care taker was out of this world. Our departure from the Elder’s home was bittersweet as that was the last time we saw Maniashin. We attended her funeral a few years later. Eli then passed years on later. I’m grateful to Nikawi for bringing me to visit them with her. Afterwards, we trailed our way back to Matheson to find the Sundance grounds, and we did. During the last day of the ceremony, we enjoyed time with our relatives and spent some time in the lodge. We received healing from the Horse and Contraries. The following years, I would return to the grounds to be with family and the lodges. 

All in all, I will always miss Nikawi, my mother, my first home. I will always be grateful for all the things she did to help me find my path as a young person. And, I’m grateful for those elders who shaped her to be the fierce mother she was to me. The resilience she had fostered within me is incredible, regardless of how challenging and painstaking the lessons near the end of her life were, she still taught me the rawness of love and caretaking. The story of Nikawi’s passing will wait until a later time; I’m lucky to have chosen her to be my Mother, even if it was for a short time. She still visits me in my dreams, and I miss her.

Nikawi wearing her purple sweater from her sister, Maniashin (Angela) wearing a blue cardigan, and our elder relative in the bottom left of the photo.

Eli and Nikawi speaking about land in ininimoowan. When Eli passed, I imagined him flying in the sky with the stars. 

Nisakihetin dushineh mama. 

Kindly, 

S

[dancingkirby]

In which Azula learns to not judge a book by its cover

WARNING: Discussion of past rape.

To the surprise of both his parents, rather than moving back to the palace full-time after graduating from Capital University three years ago, Kazuo had elected to rent his own apartment in the Caldera.  A “bachelor’s pad,” Azula was pretty sure it was called in modern slang. Kazuo had said that this was because he’d wanted to take a stab at independent living, but Azula suspected that the real reason was so he could have a place to entertain various lady friends in private.  Azula didn’t care to think about that too much, and decided that as long as her son was diligently using protection and keeping everything consensual, she would keep quiet on the subject.  Besides, he wasn’t so caught up in his liaisons that he was neglecting his duties as a member of the Royal Family.  He showed up for every required event, and had inherited Azula’s knack for public appearances.

Last year, Kazuo had gotten into his first serious romantic relationship, and had taken the young lady to meet Azula and Tom-Tom.  Azula had initially been excited about her son finally thinking about settling down, but the meeting had not exactly gone well.  Kazuo’s girlfriend, who was named Kumi, had completely defied royal protocol and run up to shake Azula’s hand, even having the audacity to address her by her given name without so much as a “Princess” before it!  The young lady had then spent the entire encounter bragging about her accomplishments so that neither Azula nor Tom-Tom could get a word in edgewise.  Azula had made her displeasure known by giving Kumi death glares at every opportunity, yet this did nothing to curtail the woman.  Tom-Tom, of course, had been as unerringly polite as he always was. However, when Kumi finally left, he admitted that even he hadn’t cared for her much.  Neither of them was surprised when it turned out that Kumi had been in it simply for the status.  

Azula had been relieved when that was over.  On the other hand, poor Kazuo was heartbroken.  Then, this spring, a devastating earthquake had hit Shuhon, destroying most of the island’s natural gas deposits and killing tens of thousands of people.  It was the worst natural disaster to hit a home island in living memory.  Her son volunteered to take an extended trip there to help with the rebuilding process once the air was deemed safe to breathe, and Azula had thought it was probably for the best.  She’d hoped that the hard work would take his mind off his anguish.

What she hadn’t anticipated was that within weeks, Kazuo would write home that he’d met a girl in Shuhon and was going out with her.  And now, six months later, he was bringing her home with him.

Tonight was the big night, of both their reunion with Kazuo and introduction to his girlfriend…and they were late.  At this rate, the food would get here before her son would.  Azula began to worry that Kazuo had crashed his…what was it called again? Satomobile, that’s right.  Some young upstart in Republic City had started manufacturing them a couple of years ago, and now everyone in the Caldera wanted one.  Everyone except Azula, that is.  Those vehicles went entirely too fast for her liking.  

Just as Tom-Tom was attempting to talk Azula out of sending servants to look for the pair, there was a knock on the door.  Azula bid the person to come in, and felt enormously relieved as her beaming son ran straight past the servant announcing his arrival and into his parents’ arms.  

“Mom!  Dad!  I missed you both so much!” Kazuo exclaimed.  “Sorry we’re late…traffic was horrible.”  When they broke from their embrace, Azula appraised him with her sternest maternal gaze.  

“You have been gone entirely too long.  Your skin is all brown; did it never occur to you to wear a hat?” she demanded.  But she couldn’t keep the act up for long. Within seconds, she had cracked a smile, hugging Kazuo again.  

Tom-Tom cleared his throat.  

“Son, I believe you said that you wanted to introduce us to someone?” he prompted.  Azula finally got a glimpse at the young woman hanging back in a doorway, who fell into a kowtow as soon as she saw that Azula was looking at her.  Well, that was one point in her favor already.  

“You may rise,” Azula told her.  When the girl stood and walked into the room, Azula finally looked her over properly. She was quite tall and a little gangling.  However, seeing as how Kazuo had attained a height of 6’3’’ (just like his grandfather), it didn’t look as awkward as it might have.  Although her face was nothing memorable, her hair was glossy and reached down to her mid-back.  She was attired in a pretty yet modest outfit of a pink tunic and a matching set of red jacket and pants.  

“Mother, Father, this is Lady Botan,” Kazuo said.  

The girl was shaking like a leaf, but managed to get out, “P-princess Azula.  Prince Tom-Tom.  It is an honor to meet you.”

“And it is a delight to meet you too, Lady Botan,” Tom-Tom assured her.  This, combined with Kazuo placing a protective hand on her shoulder, made Botan look slightly more relaxed.  

“Yes, well, dinner will be ready shortly,” Azula added.  Then, at another knock on the door, “I stand corrected.  Dinner is ready now.”

The four of them sat at the table as the servants arranged the first course.  Azula gazed intently at Botan over her bowl of wontons in clear broth.  She was perfectly aware of how intimidating her appearance could be to those who weren’t close to her.  Although she would be sixty next month, she could pull off her trademark eyeliner and bright red lipstick as well as ever.  Plus, as this girl’s potential mother-in-law, was it not expected of her to be overbearing?  Her standards were exacting; none but the best would do for her only son.  

“So,” she began, “How did you come to meet Prince Kazuo?”

Botan jumped a little in her seat at being so abruptly addressed, and began, “Shuhon is my home island, Princess.  My dad, my sister, my brothers, and I were all contributing in any way we could.  We were lucky that our house escaped the worst of the damages…but anyway.  The first day I arrived there from Capital Island, I was carrying some heavy crates of medical supplies.   They slipped, and I would have dropped them all if Kazuo hadn’t run up just then to help!  And then we started talking, and something just…clicked.  He said his name was Kazuo, and I was like, ‘Oh, like the prince?’ and he was like ‘Uh…yeah.’  He didn’t end up actually telling me who he was until after our fourth date! Can you believe that?”

She gave a very annoying high-pitched laugh.  

“I see,” Azula responded.  She daintily picked up a wonton from her bowl with her chopsticks and popped it in her mouth, her eyes never leaving Botan’s.  Once she had swallowed her food, she continued, “My son called you Lady Botan.  That means you are a member of the nobility.  How could you possibly not have known who he was?”

“Azula…” Tom-Tom said softly.  However, his pleasant smile never left his face.  

“I don’t believe we have ever seen you at court, Lady Botan,” he said in an attempt to soften Azula’s words.  

“No, my mom was the one who was noble,” Botan explained.  “She was an only child and inherited the estate.  But she died when I was four, from cancer.  My dad’s just a silk merchant, and he didn’t see a reason to live at the Caldera after that.”

“Ah, yes, I remember hearing about that now,” Tom-Tom replied.  “Lady Ayako, wasn’t it?  I think I met her once or twice.  I offer my condolences for your loss.”

“Thank you,” Botan said.  “But it’s okay.  I hardly remember her, so I’m just kind of used to it now, you know?” Another nervous giggle escaped her.

Their conversation had to be suspended at that moment, since the servants were clearing away their soup bowls; Azula noted that Botan had scarcely touched hers.  Then, two beautiful roast ducks were presented for their main course, skin sizzling and deep golden-brown.  They were accompanied by a sweet and spicy sauce, along with sides of rice, scallion pancakes, and mixed vegetables.  

“You’re in for a treat, Botan!” Kazuo said while grinning.  “They make the best roast duck here in the palace.  It was one of the things I missed the most when I was in Shuhon.”

Botan smiled back at him, although it looked a little strained.  

For a few minutes, they ate in silence.  However, Azula wasn’t quite done with her interrogation yet.  

“Prince Kazuo informed me that you are a recent graduate of Capital University,” she said.   “What was your major?”

“Psychology and sociology, Princess.  Double major,” Botan said.  At least that was a hopeful sign.  Perhaps this young lady wasn’t as unintelligent as she appeared.  

“Then you must have made the acquaintance of my friend Ty Lee,” Azula stated.

Botan nodded eagerly, seemingly relieved that they’d found some common ground.  “Yes.  She taught my Trauma Psych class.   She…well, it could be a difficult class at times, but it was always interesting.”

Azula raised an eyebrow, feeling annoyed for reasons she didn’t fully understand.  “Why ‘difficult?’  Is my friend too strict of a teacher for your liking?  Or are you simply averse to a little hard work?”

She heard intakes of breath from both her husband and son.  Botan’s face flooded with color.  “No, no, she was a great teacher!  Really nice.  It’s just…it was difficult for another reason…”  Her gaze darted frantically over to Kazuo.  He squeezed her hand and whispered in her ear, and she nodded.  

“We’re going to go take a walk,” he stated, glowering in Azula’s direction.  Before she could protest, Tom-Tom said, “Yes, that’s fine. I think it would be best for all of us.”

As soon as the younger two had left the room, Azula’s husband turned to her.  

“Azula, we have been married for twenty-seven years, and I love you more than anything.  You know that,” he said.  “Nevertheless, you went too far this time.  I thought that Botan was a perfectly nice young lady, and was trying her best.  You should consider apologizing to her when she returns.  I will certainly do so myself for not doing more to intervene.” His voice was as level as always, but it had a hint of underlying steel that Azula had only heard a handful of times during their marriage.  It meant that this was one of the rare occasions that Tom-Tom was genuinely angry at her.  And if something was sufficient to piss him off, then she knew it was serious.

“I didn’t think I was that…” Azula began somewhat lamely, only to cut herself off when she heard muffled sobs coming from down the hallway.  It was clear that Tom-Tom heard it too.

“…Right.  I’ll go apologize to her now,” she sighed in resignation as she got up from the table.

When she opened the door to their apartment, she heard Botan wailing, “She hated me! A..and I can’t blame her because I sounded like an idiot!”

Kazuo took her into his arms.  “Aw, no, sweetie, you did just fine.  Mom can be…difficult.  But I’m going to talk to her later tonight, and I think Dad already did.”

Azula waited in the shadows for a while, until Botan’s tears faded, and her mind wandered back to the day almost twenty-nine years ago when Tom-Tom had comforted her in much the same way.  It appeared that her son had turned out to be as good a man as his father.  

Finally, she cleared her throat, and both Kazuo and Botan’s head shot up.  

“If you wanted to say something to me, you might as well do it now,” she said.

Kazuo frowned. “I don’t think this is a good time, Mom…”

“No.”  Botan stepped out of Kazuo’s embrace.  “I…I want to tell her.  Alone.”

“Wow.  Are you sure?  That’s…I know that would be difficult for you, especially since this is just your first time meeting her.” Kazuo touched her shoulder again.  Botan looked down and took a deep breath.

“…Yes,” she finally said.

“Might I suggest doing this in my study instead of in the hallway?  The palace servants are quite proficient at making themselves almost invisible in order to eavesdrop,” Azula pointed out.  

“Good idea,” Kazuo admitted.  Then, to Botan, “One last time…are you really sure?  I don’t want you to feel pressured to do it if you’re not ready.”

The younger woman squared her shoulders.  “I’m ready.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Now,” Azula said, once they were both situated in comfortable upholstered chairs and free from any listening ears, “What was it you wanted to tell me?  I give you permission to speak freely.”

She was expecting for Botan to yell at her, to fling all sorts of insults.  What she actually said was somewhat surprising.

“I’d been wanting to meet you for so long, before I ever knew Kazuo,” she began. “You’re...you’re my hero. All that work you’ve done to raise awareness for sexual abuse, all the charities you run…and I read the book you co-wrote with Professor Ty Lee.  It was so comforting to me after…”

She broke off; tears were running down her face again.  Azula wordlessly gave her a handkerchief from the stack on her desk. Even though her own crying spells occurred nowhere nearly as frequently as they had in her youth, they still had the nasty tendency to blindside her every now and then.

Once Botan had gotten this latest burst of emotion under control, the words poured out of her like water from a burst dam.  She said, “I was nineteen.  A man who I had seen as one of my closest friends put something in my drink when we were at a party, and then he took me to his dorm room and…and raped me.  And everyone thought I was lying about it because he was so popular!  I tried to go to the campus police, and they wouldn’t press charges because they didn’t think there was enough evidence. All they said was that I shouldn’t have looked away from my drink.  I was so discouraged that I kept it from most of my family; didn’t even tell Kazuo until about a month ago…”

“And yet you told me, even after I upset you,” Azula pointed out.

“Yeah,” Botan acknowledged.  More scrubbing at her eyes, and she continued, “I know it seems weird.  But I thought if anyone would understand, you would. Your book helped me get through that. I kept telling myself that you had it so much worse than me, since I was an adult when it happened, and not…I mean, I’d had boyfriends before, and I couldn’t even remember much of it, and he wasn’t my dad, and I didn’t…didn’t…”

“Didn’t get pregnant?” Azula guessed.

“…yeah.”

“I see.”  She took a moment to figure out exactly how she wanted to say this.

“Trauma isn’t a competition,” she finally said as she rose from her chair and walked closer to Botan. “Just because yours was different from mine, doesn’t mean it wasn’t as real.  And…I apologize for my behavior, as difficult as it is for me to say that. You shouldn’t have had to feel compelled to share something so personal just to seek my approval.  At the same time, I am glad that my life’s work meant something to you.  My goal was that no abuse survivor should feel as alone as I did, or my father’s other prey did.  It appears as though there is still much work for me to do, though.  Perhaps my charities need a younger spokesperson who is more in touch with the times.  Someone like you…if you find that arrangement pleasing.”

Botan was struck speechless for a few moments.  Then, she breathed, “Of course I would, Princess. It would be such a great honor, and my dream job.  I just hope I can be worthy of it.”

“If you are seeking to become a part of the royal family, you’ll have to find some cause to champion,” Azula remarked.  “My brother is all about public service.  Now let us finish our dinner, shall we?  There is plum ice cream for dessert, which we won’t want to miss.”

“Sounds good,” Botan replied.

“It is Kazuo’s favorite flavor.  If you intend to marry my son, it would be wise of you to memorize all of his preferred foods, don’t you think?”

Perhaps she had found that perfect mate for her son that she

[thezodiaczone]

Cancer Compatibility

CANCER + ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL 19) Aries is the zodiac's baby (its first sign); Cancer is its matriarch, ruling the fourth house of motherhood, home and family. Is this relationship doomed to be an Oedipal cliche? Not if you temper these traits through steady, conscious self-development. Otherwise, you easily lapse into automatic roles that polarize you into a parent-child (or master-and-servant) dynamic. Aries can be selfish—not maliciously, but in a crude, clueless style that leaves Cancer resentful and dismayed at the Ram's lack of nuance. Cancer knows how to play the nurturing giver, but this delicate sign needs room to be vulnerable, too. Aries loves to be coddled, but Cancer's maternal indulgences will create a spoiled brat or a demanding diva. Besides, while the Crab may have a tough outer shell, the true warrior is Aries, ruled by aggressive Mars. Your differences are many: Aries is a diehard independent and Cancer is a family guy; Aries needs freedom, the Crab's possessive grip clings tight. You'll need to compromise, or else the relationship can turn into a competitive, jealous hotbed. You can both brood with the best of them, and your dark days eclipse even the tiniest sliver of hope. Talk about depressing. Swear off the silent treatment and learn to communicate as two adult equals.

CANCER + TAURUS (APRIL 20 - MAY 20) ♥♥♥♥ Buy those twin rocking chairs and install them on the porch: You're an old-fashioned throwback, high school sweethearts at any age. No two signs are more traditional, sentimental or family-oriented than yours. Although the sweetness can be cloying, you're a love story for the ages. In fact, you may emulate your own parents (or compensate for their shortcomings), since you share a rather conventional moral compass. Affectionate and nurturing, you crave lifelong security and a comfortable home, and you'll squirrel away a sizeable nest egg together. Not that you don't indulge. Your signs both appreciate art, culture, decorating, music and gourmet food. As parents, you're protective but firm, Taurus doling out tough love in your children's best interest, nurturing Cancer kisses every boo-boo. Framed family pictures creep like urban sprawl through your home. At times, Taurus' booming voice and blunt remarks wound the Crab's tender feelings. Like a bull in a Bernardaud shop, Taurus doesn't realize his own size, strength and intensity. Taurus will need to dial down the volcanic energy—intuitive Cancer doesn't need every point driven home. At the same time, Cancer must overcome insecurities and toughen up, since Taurus doesn't mince words or tiptoe through the tulips for anyone. Sure, there will be tears and misunderstandings, but there's nothing that any recipe calling for heavy cream can't solve. You both love pampering and feasts, and if your waistlines expand along with your joy, c'est la vie.

CANCER + GEMINI (MAY 21 - JUNE 20) Cancer is an emotional Water sign who loves to nest and bond; Gemini is a restless Air sign who prefers intellect over sentiment. You have similar interests, different temperaments. In many cases, this works out anyway. You both adore culture, the more obscure the better. You love to discover new bands, read novels by controversial authors, gorge yourselves at the jewel of a restaurant tucked into an undiscovered neighborhood. You bond over TV shows and bargain-hunting for treasures (you both have a thrifty streak). No flea market, tag sale or eBay store is safe from your scouring, and your home can resemble a bizarre gallery of antiques and modern gadgetry. The tricky part is when you lapse into astrological auto-pilot. Cancer is the zodiac's mother, who heaps on affection, nurturing and well-intended care. To Gemini, this can feel like clinginess and smothering. Gemini is the zodiac's fickle tween, waffling between bouts of dependence and asserting autonomy. There will be moments when Gemini greedily laps up Cancer's doting, and others when mama bird is roughly pushed away with a sarcastic, heart-piercing insult. Cancer must work hard not to take these moments personally—otherwise, the Crab lashes back with a below-the-belt barb, and it turns ugly. Remember, Crabcake: it's not you that Gemini is rejecting, it's your overprotection. Get a pet to dote on instead. Gemini needs space, Cancer needs reassurance. Memorize this formula.

CANCER + CANCER (JUNE 21 - JULY 22) To respin the old joke: What do two Cancers bring on a second date? Answer: a U-Haul. Cancer is the zodiac's nester, and you'll quickly set up a home with a fully-stocked kitchen, cozy furniture, a hand-wired sound system and eclectic art. This is a Water sign match that can work out swimmingly. You're both sensitive and nurturing, and you feel safe in each other's thoughtful care. With your love of culture, you may need a separate room for your collection of books, music and film. While you'll create a trove of sentimental memories and a lovely little family, you can become too insular together. Push yourselves to leave the comfy Crabshell and take more risks. You make fine travel companions, especially on trips involving water: surfing in Maui, an Alaskan cruise or skiing in Aspen. Cancer is ruled by the changeable moon, and at times, your fluctuating moods can clash. On bad days, all that emotion under one roof means slammed doors, screamed insults and hours of sulking. Problems also start when you take everything personally, or let your insecurities paralyze you. We know of one Cancer-Cancer couple where the woman proposed to her fiancé—got down on bended knee when she had the flu!—because she got tired of waiting for him to pop the question. Turns out, he had a ring stashed in his sock drawer, but was scared she would say no. Oh brother. Crabs, grow a pair—don't let this happen to you.

CANCER + LEO (JULY 23 - AUGUST 22) Can you say drama? Between Cancer's moods and Leo's ego, you're a camera crew away from being a reality show—the kind that makes you want to change the channel, only you can't leave the crash scene. Harsh but true. Your signs are both needy and bossy, but in different ways. Cancer is insecure and possessive, and this sign's sensitive Water element can quench Fire-sign Leo's excitement. Leo rules the zodiac's fifth house of drama, and suffers from a terminal case of what relationship expert Alison Armstrong calls "center of the universe disease." Cancer is ruled by the fluctuating moon, Leo by the sun. You literally can be as different as night and day. However, your knee-jerk reactions and hair trigger tempers cause the same amount of destruction. So what works about this match? It's packed with passion and romance, something you both adore. Cancer and Leo are heart-driven signs, and emotional highs are your breath of life. For all the crashes, meltdowns and train wrecks this causes, you remain fiercely, enigmatically loyal. Self-awareness is crucial to this relationship's survival. You both need to take responsibility for the drama you're capable of stirring up. In the best cases, you'll meet after you've learned to temper your emotions, or even better, logged a few dedicated years of therapy.

CANCER + VIRGO (AUGUST 23 - SEPTEMBER 22) ♥♥♥♥ This is a couple that can outlast the ages, since you're fast friends and seamless companions. Virgo is the zodiac's helper and Cancer is its nurturer. Your emotional connection is instant, and you're thrilled to meet a kindred soul who knows how to give, not just take. It's a refreshing break from the usual energy vampires you both attract! Your relationship is sweet and storybook-innocent: lots of handholding, sentimental cards, and anniversary baubles. Yet, you're practical, too, stowing away college funds for your yet-to-be-born children, earning advanced degrees, taking out a mortgage. Security is something you both cherish. In a way, you're like parents and partners to one another: you both express love by nagging, fussing and feeding. And it works. A pair of self-professed nerds, you love to cook, decorate, read novels and learn. No matter how much money you earn, you both remain thrifty, too. (Scoring a high-end treasure at a tag sale or an eBay auction is orgasmic.) Your signs are both family oriented, and you make sweet but strict parents who live for your children. Generally, you're close to your own relatives, and you enjoy spending time at family events or hosting holiday gatherings. Keeping the sexy charge alive will take a little effort, though, since you both love to stay home rather than dress up or hit the town. Push yourselves to leave the nest, and socialize with other couples more often.

CANCER + LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23 - OCTOBER 22) You're a sweet, romantic couple, but not always a perfect match. On the upside, Cancer is ruled by the caring Moon and Libra by romantic Venus, casting a tender glow on this love affair. With your flair for color, style and objets d'art, you could open an interior design business (your home may in fact resemble an Architectural Digest spread). Now, the challenge: Cancer is a deeply emotional Water sign whose moods fluctuate like the tides. Libra is a social Air sign who prefers to happy-dance through the daisies. Between the Crab's fatalism and Libra's denial, nobody has a strong grip on reality. Better keep a few grounded Earth sign friends on speed dial when you lose perspective. Failing that, you'll need to adapt to each other's opposing natures. Like a stone skipping across the water's surface, Libra averts the plunging depths of Cancer's inconsolable undertows and cloying neediness. Yet, avoidance is futile, since it only upsets the Crab to be ignored. Libra should learn that a hug, flowers and an apology (however undeserved) pave the quickest path to peace. Not that Libra doesn't have his own powerful undercurrent: when those scales tips out of balance, he can escalate a minor breakdown into a Code Orange catastrophe. Admit it: you're both big babies at times. For long-term success, find activities you both enjoy: travel, language classes, dancing, dinner parties. You're gracious hosts and culturally literate people with lots to talk about. Get out and savor life together.

CANCER + SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23 - NOVEMBER 21) You're an ideal match, twin Water signs with deeply complementary natures. Highly suspicious and protective of your privacy, neither of you trusts easily. As a result, you intuitively trust each other. The good news is, you've bet on a winning sea-horse. These two signs can mate for life, and the emotional facets of your relationship deepen into an intimacy few couples reach. Romantic and sentimental occasions never go uncelebrated: birthdays, Valentine's Day, the five-month anniversary of the first time you said "I love you." Sex is a sacred, erotic act that can transport you on a one-way trip to Tantra-ville. You feel safe enough together to try anything. The challenge will be breaking the ice, since you both tend to clam up in a red-faced fluster or any icy aloofness around a new love interest. It helps to talk about music, books, films—anything but your feelings. Once you get past the awkward phase, it's smooth sailing. You genuinely enjoy each other's company, and like to do almost everything together. As parents, you're incredibly nurturing and hands-on, and may struggle to cut the cord when your kids reach adolescence. In fact, control is the big challenge for your signs. Jealous and possessive, you know how to avoid your mate's hot buttons—or to push them when you're feeling spiteful. (The Crab pinches and the Scorpion stings; both can wound the relationship fatally.) At times, Cancer's sulking seems childish to Scorpio, and Scorpio's sharp edges can maim the Crab's tender feelings. Fortunately, you know how to win your way back into each other's good graces once the moody spells pass.

CANCER + SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22 - DECEMBER 21) You're cut from entirely different cloths and patterns. Sagittarius is neon polka-dot on stretch Lycra; Cancer is Burberry plaid on Swiss wool. You'll never be a match that makes sense to observers—which is why Cancer Tom Cruise and Sagittarius Katie Holmes are such a tabloid target. Is it true love, a train wreck, or a little bit of both? Let's examine. Domestic Cancer rules home, heart and family, and holds his loved ones in his vest pocket. Sagittarius is the restless world traveler who craves freedom and adventure. Sag can either feel smothered or totally nurtured by Cancer. The Crab loves to provide every security for his sweetie, and it's a relief to the Archer to come home to a hot meal, a drawn bath, an adoringly attentive partner. The trouble starts when Sagittarius stops coming home. Sagittarius needs sunlight, air and wide open spaces. Cancer keeps the shades drawn and burrows into his metaphorical Crab shell. When Sagittarius neglects Cancer's need for togetherness, starts hanging out with a rowdy crew of rebels, or traipses the globe alone, Cancer's insecurities are rankled. You have fierce tempers, and the combustion of Cancer's moodiness and Sag's anger can be downright destructive. What the Crab must realize is that a pretty bird in a cage will soon fly the coop—at least, if the bird is a Sag. He must open the windows and trust Sagittarius to come back to the nest, a real act of faith. Your strong sexual chemistry sweetens the pot, but you'll need to adapt to each other's rhythms through hard work and keen listening.

CANCER + CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22 - JANUARY 19) ♥♥♥♥ Paging June and Ward Cleaver! Cancer is astrology's mother and Capricorn is its patriarch. You're opposite signs that might very well polarize into these retro roles. On the zodiac wheel, Cancer rules the fourth house of home, family and femininity. Capricorn governs its tenth house of fatherhood, authority, masculinity and ambition. In many ways, it's nice to have a mate who happily redresses your shortcomings. Yet, it can also be off-putting. Cancer longs for touch and affection, misty-eyed Hallmark moments and emotionally naked conversations. Stoic Capricorn can be stiff and formal, a closet neurotic who pooh-poohs Cancer's feelings as overblown melodramas. In truth, Capricorn just internalizes his feelings, then falls into depressions or flogs himself mercilessly. You must learn the other's "love language" to succeed as a couple. Cancer shows caring through sentimental gestures, food, togetherness and well-intended nagging. Capricorn's expression is through duty—bringing home a steady paycheck, showing up on time, holding it together when everyone else falls apart. Capricorn must learn to honor Cancer's feelings and intuition; the Crab must develop gratitude for Capricorn's loyalty and quiet wisdom. Parenting is where you really shine as a team. Raising children is the ultimate honor for your signs, as well as a creative challenge. You're both loyal to your families, no matter how much they drive you crazy. This is a quality you respect in each other. At the end of the day, you share enough common values to make a solid, lifelong match.

CANCER + AQUARIUS (JANUARY 20 - FEBRUARY 18) This oddball match is as fascinating and perplexing as a Proenza Schouler pump—and like the highbrow fashion house, few understand its power. Here we have Cancer, sentimental and family-oriented, possessive, anchored by deep roots and tradition. Mix in Aquarius, the sci-fi nomad, a butterfly escaping the net of convention, laughing with you and at you all at once. How on earth…? This is a coupling that doesn't happen often, and for good reason. Cool Aquarius doesn't need much affection, and Cancer withers without physical touch. The Crab clutches his loved ones in powerful pincers, and scuttles after Aquarius, practically begging for love. Naturally, free-spirited Aquarius feels smothered and trapped by these demands for intimacy, and constructs little trap doors everywhere—a basketball team, a drama class, a post on city council. Yet, when wounded Cancer withdraws into his shell, Aquarius is suddenly intrigued. Where did my lifeline go? What Aquarius takes for granted is Cancer's loyalty, which can resemble a mother's love for her troubled teen. The Crab can see the vulnerable child underneath the surly bravado. Beyond that, you owe each other a karmic debt so profound, you can't even articulate it. Explains one Aquarius, who's been with her Cancer mate for 35 years: "I've learned that sometimes you have to do what the other person likes, even if you don't like it." In other words, if you want to stay together, eat your broccoli. You'll certainly grow in spirit and character. Sometimes, your soul needs a challenge more than a smoothly-paved road.

CANCER + PISCES (FEBRUARY 19 - MARCH 20) ♥♥♥♥ You're a pair of softies underneath it all, even if the world sees a hard Crab shell or a tough, scaly Fish. Alone with each other, your compatible Water signs are as tender as can be. You're both compassionate and nurturing, soothing each other with sustenance and sensitivity. There's nothing a stick of butter, cookies made from scratch, or a nice after-dinner cordial by the fire can't solve. Romantic and sensual, you love to pipe classical music through the sound system, light the candelabras and whip up a gourmet feast side-by-side. Hours of kissing and foreplay will follow. Though your relationship is a refuge, it can also become a fishbowl that limits your growth. You absorb each other's fluctuating moods like a sponge, so get out of the aquarium-for-two. With your refined sensibilities, you're excellent patrons of the arts, so head to museums, gallery openings, concerts, and dance performances. Fling open your doors for dinner parties that toast an artistic friend, an esteemed poet, or a relative's good news. This satisfies your nurturing instincts, and invites new energy into your space. You must both learn when to let go of grudges, since you can be passive-aggressive and play the victim when your feelings are hurt. Slammed doors, sulking and brooding must stop. Don't excuse bad behavior with psychobabble, either (e.g., "When you said that, it reminded me of how my mother couldn't love"). Grow up, will you? If you've been cruel, simply say "I'm sorry" and offer a long hug. The power of touch can heal anything between you, too.

[thetravelerwrites]

Cetzu (Part 4) Lemon

Rating: Explicit Relationships: Male Changeling/Female Human Additional Tags: Exophilia, Lizardfolk, Changeling, Interspecies Romance, Monster Boyfriend, Sex, Double Dicks, Hemipenis Content Warnings: Assault, Bandits, Injury, Field Surgery, Blood, Poisoning Words: 5211

Part 4 of 5 generously commissioned by @ivymemnoch​​! Feeling guilty for killing a man in self defense, Cetzu turns himself in to his brother, the local sheriff, but when it's determined he's committed no crime, Cetzu has a crisis of conscience that the reader tries to help him through. Please reblog and leave feedback!

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Cetzu slept for four days.

He healed quickly, just like Declan said he would, though he didn’t eat or drink anything while he slept. Lymera, his faun sister, assured you that was normal. The wound had closed and was nothing more than a dark red line on his shoulder, and the scales that had died and flaked off were beginning to regrow.

His gnoll sheriff brother, Feera, came down for a couple of days to check on him, and reassured you that Cetzu would be alright. Apparently he’d gotten his share of horrible injuries from hunting large game throughout his life, and the only reason this particular wound was so severe was because of the iron, which was now cleansed from his body and not poisoning him anymore.

You spent some time by his bedside every day, hoping to be there when he woke up. Otherwise you spent time with his family members, hearing stories of his childhood among the family and learning all their tales. Sad, indeed.

One afternoon, you were dozing in the chair next to Cetzu’s bed, a book from Toklo’s vast collection dangling from your hand, when you heard Cetzu snort and cough. Snapping awake, you stood and lay the book down in the seat, sitting next to Cetzu on the bed.

“Hey,” You said softly, patting his covered chest. “How are you feeling?”

“Cold,” He said roughly. “And my shoulder’s a bit sore. But I’m alright.” His eyes focused and he moved his head to look at you. “Are you alright?”

“Yes, I am,” You replied. “You saved my life.”

“I’m glad,” He said quietly. There was a pause before he said, “You know what I am.”

It wasn’t a question. “Yes, I do.”

He draped his arm over his eyes and sighed. “Damn it.”

“Why does that bother you?”

“Two different sets of parents threw me away because of what I am. Wouldn’t that bother you?”

You chewed the inside of your cheek and was silent for many minutes. “Can I tell you something? About my mom?”

He removed his arm from his face and looked at you keenly. “Yes?”

You took a large breath, held it for a second, and exhaled sharply. “My mom… was not my birth mother. My mother wasn’t the maternal sort, you could say. She told my dad early in their relationship that she didn’t want kids, so when she got pregnant accidentally, she was pissed. She wanted to get rid of me, send me to an orphanage or something, but my father begged her not to. My mother basically told him to choose between her and me… and he chose me. A week after I was born, my biological mother left us.”

He frowned seriously, but he didn’t interrupt.

“We all have our sad tales, don’t we?” You said, smiling morosely. “My dad knew he needed help, since I would starve to death if he couldn’t find a wet nurse. As it happened, there was a woman one town over who had given birth to a stillborn son. Her husband had died in an accident while she was pregnant and she had no means to support herself. In her grief, she made the kind and selfless offer to be my wet nurse in exchange for food and a place to sleep, and my dad took her in. Over time, they became close and fell in love. By the time I was a year old, they had married. She raised me as her own child. In fact, I didn’t even know she wasn’t my birth mother until two years after she died. She was more my mother than anyone ever could be. I loved her very much.”

You felt a tear slide down your face, and you dashed it away with your fingertips.

“Sometimes, family chooses itself,” Cetzu replied softly. “That’s what Mama and Papa say. If it hadn’t been for them, I’d have died in a gutter when I was a babe. I hope I can be like them someday.”

“You want to have a big family?” You asked, smiling. “Lots of kids?”

“Someday,” He said, matching your smile, but his face fell immediately, his eyes going unfocused and looking past you. “Perhaps I don’t deserve it. I’m a murderer.”

“You are not a murderer. It was self-defense,” You told him, patting his hand. “They could have killed us.”

“They couldn’t have killed me,” He said dismissively. “I was much stronger than them.”

“They almost did kill you, Cetzu,” You reminded him. “An arrow is pretty humbling, strong or not. They attacked us first; it was justified.”

“It doesn’t matter,” He said, moving to sit up. You moved off the bed and back into the chair. “I took a life. There must be balance.”

“So what do you plan to do, then?” You asked him.

He held his shoulder with a grimace of pain and stood up gingerly. “I’m going to turn myself in.”

“What?” You exclaimed, shooting to your feet. “Where? To who?”

“Feera,” He replied. “He’s a sheriff.”

“He’s your brother, though,” You said, crossing your arms. “Aren’t you worried about nepotism?”

Cetzu stopped for a moment. “Good point,” He mused, then shook his head. “No matter. I still have to report this.”

“Then I’ll go with you,” You said, grabbing your bag.

He turned to look at you, surprised. “Why?”

“I’m a witness,” You said simply. “And a victim of a crime. They’ll want to interview me.”

“Oh. Right,” He replied, and waited for you to catch up. After informing his mother of his intentions, and despite her protests, he set off down the road to town with you following in his wake.

The walk to Willowridge was a quiet one. You felt like there was a wall between the two of you now, and it was painful. You thought the two of you had gotten so close, and now these bandit thugs had ruined everything. Even if he didn’t have the same crush on you that you had on him, the two of you had been friends. Was that over? You hoped not. He was the only real friend you’d had since you were young. You weren’t ready to let that go.

Cetzu was on edge when the two of you arrived in Willowridge, though he raised a hand in greeting when a few people when they called hello. The jailhouse was situated on the other side of town, right on the edge between the town and the woods. Beyond it was the orc-run horse ranch, and beyond that was the stronghold, Willowshield. It was from this stronghold that Feera’s head deputy, Padcha, was from.

Both Feera and Padcha were sitting on the front porch of the jailhouse, playing dominoes, when they saw you approach.

“Cetzu!” Feera said, laying his tiles face down on the table. “It’s good to see you up and about. How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine, brother,” He said shortly. “I’m here to turn myself in.”

Feera and Padcha exchanged a confused glance. “For what?”

“Murder,” Cetzu said grimly. “I killed one of the men who attacked the wagon.”

“Cetzu, that was self defense,” Feera said. “They shot you, you defended yourself.”

“I already told him that,” You said, scowling up at Cetzu. “He won’t listen to anyone.”

“I didn’t kill the man who shot me,” Cetzu replied. “I would have, but I was stopped.” He gestured to you. “I killed the other one. He was no threat to me. I was angry and I killed him.”

“Did he have a weapon pointed at you?” Padcha asked.

“Well, yes,” Cetzu admitted. “But--”

“Did you attack before or after you were shot?”

“After, but--”

“Was your intent to kill, or subdue?”

“Well, I only wanted to subdue him, but I’ve never been in a fight with a human before. I underestimated my strength, I guess, but that doesn’t…”

“Cetzu,” Feera said, putting a hand on his brother’s shoulder. “Face it. This was clear-cut self-defense. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Yes, I did!” Cetzu exclaimed, shrugging off Feera’s hand. “How can you say such a thing? A man is dead because of me!” Cetzu scrubbed the scales on the back of his head with the claws on his hands, making a strange rattling sound. “Can’t you at least do an investigation? Go out and find the man and examine the scene. Look at the evidence.”

“If you want me to, I can--” Feera said, but Cetzu stopped him.

“Not you,” He said. “You’re family. I don’t want favoritism. Padcha and the other deputies should do it.”

“Cetzu, you’re being ridiculous,” Feera said in exasperation.

“Actually, boss,” Padcha said, rubbing the back of his neck. “He’s got a point. It’s not proper for a sheriff to be part of an investigation of their own family member. Conflict of interest.”

Feera sighed. “Fine. Where did this happen?”

“Halfway between Coleville and the farm,” You piped up. “About five hours from here by cart.”

“I’ll take Victor and Louie and we’ll go by horseback. We can get there just after lunchtime,” Padcha said.

Feera nodded curtly. “Get on it, then.”

Padcha nodded and went off to find his deputies.

“Well, since you’re here, want to go to the tavern for some ale while we wait for news?” Feera asked the two of you.

Before you could speak, Cetzu shook his head. “No. Put me in a cell.”

Both you and Feera rolled your eyes.

“If you don’t do it, I’ll do it myself,” Cetzu said, crossing his arms.

“By all means,” Feera said sarcastically, stepping aside. “Pick one. They’re all open right now.”

Cetzu stepped past him and walked right into a cell, closing it behind him, and sat on the cot. “Are you going to lock it?”

Feera scoffed. “No!”

Cetzu scoffed in return and lay down on the cot, his arms still crossed as he stared at the ceiling.

“How are you doing?” Feera asked you.

“I’m fine,” You replied. “Really aggravated at your brother, but fine.”

“I’m with you there,” Feera agreed, staring his brother down. Cetzu ignored the two of you.

“Has he always been this obstinate?” You asked in a whisper.

“As long as I’ve known him,” Feera responded. “He’s as stubborn as a mule when he gets an idea in his head. There’s no compromising with him when he gets like this. You just have to let him burn himself out.”

“I can hear you,” Cetzu grumbled, turning to face the wall.

“Good!” Feera called back. “I’m going to tell your girlfriend all your awful habits so she dumps your pigheaded ass!” He chuffed out of his nose and jerked his head at the door. “Come on,” He said to you. “I’m going to sit down with Eris and the boys for a while. Kurran has a stomachache and I want to check on him. Have you had breakfast?”

You followed Feera back to the home he shared with his wife, Eris, and his two boys, two year old Kurran and six month old Declan. You held the wiggling, giggling bundle of fluff that was his youngest son while Feera cradled his older boy, consoling him through a tummy ache while Eris went out to buy medicine from the apothecary.

You had heard Eris’s horrible tale from the family, and that in the attack against her that led her to first meeting Feera, all of her hair had been cut off, but it had grown back into a beautiful river of gold cascading down her back. Eris was a kind but shrewd woman, and you guessed by her cautious demeanor that some cuts don’t heal as quickly. Feera was gentle and affectionate with her, and watching the two of them together made you pine a little for something you hadn’t yet experienced.

The day wore on. Eris returned with the medicine and made lunch for you and Feera before putting both of the boys to bed for naps. Feera escorted you back to the jailhouse, where Cetzu had fallen asleep.

“Play a game with me?” Feera asked. “It’s been slow around town, but spring’s a slow season. Everyone’s working. People are more likely to start trouble when they’ve got nothing to do.”

“Sure,” You said, sitting out on the porch with him. He set up a game of dominoes and you arranged your tiles.

“The boys will take time looking at the scene, so they may not be back until tomorrow,” Feera said, placing a tile. “This may be an obvious cut-and-dry case of self-defense, but we still do our job properly. I trust Padcha to be thorough.”

“What if Cetzu doesn’t accept your conclusion?” You asked. “He’s convinced he has to atone for killing that man.”

“I don’t know,” Feera sighed. “He hasn’t broken any laws. If we determine he’s not responsible for a crime, and I’m sure we will, that’s the end of it. I’m not going to imprison him to assuage his personal guilt. It’s something he’s going to have to figure out himself.”

You sighed too. “I don’t know what to do. He’s shut down and won’t talk to me.”

“Yeah,” Feera replied. “As much as he tries to deny his nature, he’s just as tight-lipped and secretive as any fae I’ve ever met. He’s still young, though, by fae standards. Maybe he’s just not old enough or strong enough to control his natural tendencies, just like when he was little and couldn’t control his magic. Restraint is just as much a necessary skill as any other.”

“How do you mean?” You asked.

“Well, take gnolls, for example,” He said, holding his arms open and gesturing at himself. “We have a reputation for being aggressive and brutal. Hell, my parents sold me and my brother because we were runts and therefore useless to them. People expect us to be… well… animals. I don’t know if it’s because that’s how we actually are or if that’s how people perceive us and we changed to match, but that’s the way it is. Same with orcs.” He gestured toward the north, where the stronghold was. “Everyone thinks orcs are bloodthirsty raiders, rapists, and murderers. Maybe that’s the way it used to be, but it isn’t anymore. We all fight against our nature and our history in some way. Cetzu is no different.”

You thought about your birth mother and your true mother and contemplated what part of your nature you fought against.

Feera had been right; the deputies hadn’t returned by nightfall. Feera invited you back to the house for dinner, and you brought some food back to Cetzu. Despite the invitation to room at Feera and Eris’s house, you decided to stay at the jail. There were beds, after all, and you didn’t want to leave Cetzu alone.

The next day, the deputies returned mid-morning.

“Well, we found the scene,” Padcha said. “We found the dead man just laying in the road. His friends couldn’t even pull him out of the way. We also found their camp abandoned. It was clearly a bandit operation and it looked like they’d been there for a while; there were horse carcasses and bits of wagons they’d likely couldn’t sell and chopped up for firewood. You scared them off, though. They left their tents and such, but took whatever valuables they managed to steal.”

“So… what now?” Cetzu asked.

“Nothing,” Feera said. “You killed a bandit that tried to kill you. No crime was committed, by you at least. You’re free to go.”

“No!” Cetzu said, slamming a hand against the wall, making you jump. “This isn’t right! There has to be balance!”

“There is balance!” Feera replied exasperatedly. “They committed an offense against you! You defended yourself! What else do you want, man?!”

“You don’t understand anything,” Cetzu growled, pushing past his brother.

“Where are you going?” Feera called after him.

“I’m going home,” He said. “This was a waste of time.”

“You’re telling me!” Feera shouted back angrily.

Cetzu began stalking down the road and you had no choice but to run after him. It wasn’t more than a minute before he had made his way out of town and down the road, starting for the farm.

“Cetzu!”

He was a good ten feet ahead of you when he stopped, looking back. “What is it?”

“You’ve barely said two words to me this entire trip.”

“You didn’t have to come,” he replied shortly.  

“Are you angry with me? Have I upset you?”

“I’m not angry with you,” He said, though his brow furrowed. “Don’t worry about it.”

“What are you talking about, ‘don’t worry about it’?” You exclaimed. “You’re obsessed with punishing yourself for something that’s not your fault, how can I not worry?”

“I’ll have Kurra escort you home. I need time to think. You should have stayed at the house.”

“I came to help you!”

“I didn’t ask for your help!” He snapped, stopping and turning toward you, his body tense. “My job was to protect you! I almost got you killed! This is why I should never have left the farm! I’m only good for planting and harvesting! Kurra should have been the one you hired to go with you. I’m nothing but a liability!”

“That’s not true!” You argued. “I’m not hurt! You did protect me! You did your job! I don’t regret hiring you and I don’t think your brother could have done anything differently! Do you regret being with me?”

“Yes!” He shot back.

You were stunned to silence and fell back a step, your heart dropping into your stomach. He backed up a step as well, looking immediately remorseful for his response. He scrubbed his eyes.

“I don’t… regret the time we’ve spent together,” He clarified. “I regret not being as effective as I should have been. I failed.”

“Cetzu,” You said, walking up to him and taking him by the shoulders. “You haven’t failed. I don’t know what to say or do to make you believe you’ve done nothing wrong, that you saved my life. I hired you to protect me, and you did that. What more can I say to convince you?”

“You can’t,” He said. “I’m a murderer.”

“Stop saying that!” You shook him a little. “You’re not the only person who’s had to kill someone! What about your father? He killed a man to save your mother’s life! He told me so! Is he a murderer?”

“...no,” Cetzu said, looking away from you.

“What about your brothers?” You asked, advancing. “They were forced to fight in the gladiator ring as children. If they didn’t fight, they’d have been killed. Are they murderers?”

“No!”

“Then why is this different? Why are you holding yourself to a different standard than them?”

He refused to meet your eye, his jaw clenching. “We should get back to the farm and hitch up the wagon. You’re overdue to return home.”

“Is this what it’s going to be like from now on?” You asked, feeling upset and on the verge of tears. “You ignoring me and treating me like cargo to be delivered? Is that all I am to you now? Are we no longer friends? Do you plan to quit? Because if so, I’ll go back home and find another bodyguard and you’ll never have to think of me again!”

“That’s not true!” He exclaimed a little loudly, making you step back. “I’m always thinking of you. I never cease thinking of you!”

You sere silent for a moment, processing what you’d just heard. He turned his back to you but didn’t continue walking. He just stood there, silent.

“What are you talking about?” You asked quietly.

“I…” He took a deep breath and sighed. “I think about you all the time. You’re the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I see when I fall asleep. I dream of you. I see you dancing when the wind blows through the high grass. When I feel anxious, I hear your voice, and it calms me.” He bent his head, still turned away from you. “I… don’t want to quit. I want… to stay with you.”

“Why aren’t you looking at me?” You whispered.

“Because I’m afraid of what I might see,” He rasped. “I have hurt and worried you over the last few days, and I’m sorry. I know you’re angry with me. I know what I am, and you may not want… what I want. I am… still your friend… but…”

You walked forward and pressed your hand flat against his back. “I never told you… I’ve always thought you beautiful.”

He spun so quickly that dust and rocks flew from under his feet. He almost smacked you with his tail, but he snapped it out of the way at the last second.

“What?”

You gulped but continued. “You… look like you’re built of onyx and silver. When you stand still, you look like one of your lovely carvings. I don’t care that you’re fae. It wouldn’t matter to me what race you were. You’re kind and selfless and I feel safe with you. I don’t want you to quit either. I want...” You gulped again. “I want what you want.”

“I… I want you.”

You nodded. “That’s more than alright to me.”

He, disbelieving, tentatively reached for you, but you jumped at him, putting your arms around his neck and kissing his leathery lips. He hesitated for only a few seconds before reciprocating, kissing you back and wrapping you in his arms, lifting you off the ground. You ran your fingers over the scales of his head and he gave a purring sort of growl.

You wrapped your legs around his waist and he put his arms under your rear, holding you up as the two of you snogged like teenagers. You weren’t sure how well you were doing; you’d never actually kissed anyone before. He seemed to be enjoying it and showed no sign of wanting to stop.

You were the first to break away. “I don’t want to go back to the farm yet,” You said breathlessly. “Is there somewhere we can be alone?”

He swallowed hard and nodded. “There’s a place I go to. It’s safe.”

“Safe?” You echoed.

He nodded again. “I’ll show you.”

He set you down on your feet and took you by the hand, leading you into the forest. After about ten minutes, he lead you to a clearing. It was the most beautiful place you’d ever seen. It was a perfect circle, perhaps thirty feet wide, with soft clover and moss blanketing the ground. It was surrounded on all sides by wisteria, cherry, and maple trees. Looking up, you could see a bubble of the blue sky lighting up the space. Everything glowed luminously.

He led you in and said, “Wait for a moment.” He let go of your hand and pressed his to one of the trees. A shimmer spread from his hand and extended outward, encompassing the circle. “There. Now no one can find us. It’s completely safe.”

“How do you mean?” You asked.

“It’s a shield,” He replied. He pointed upward. “Watch.”

You looked up and watched a cloud pass over the opening in the canopy. Suddenly, rain fell, but not a single drop entered the clearing. Everything around you was dry.

“It also hides us,” He continued. “We’re invisible to anyone passing by.”

You turned to him in shock. “You can control your magic?”

“Not as much as I’d like,” He said. “But I’m learning. I created this place to practice in peace and secrecy. You’re the first person to ever see it.”

“I thought you hated magic,” You said.

“I do,” He replied. “But if I don’t learn to control it, I’m more likely to hurt someone on accident.”

“It’s beautiful here,” You told him. “Everything you touch becomes beautiful.”

“That’s not true,” he said, smiling. “You were beautiful long before I ever met you.”

You blushed and looked down. He put his claws hand under your chin and lifted your head to look at him. He bent and kissed you again, slower and deeper. You touched the muscles of his stomach, working your way up his chest, then back down and around his back. Your fingers touched the waistband above his tail and discovered the buttons that secured his pants around his waist that allowed his tail to stick out of the back. Without thinking much about it, you undid the first button.

His arms tensed around you and he pulled back. “I… um… I’ve never…”

You nodded before he could finish. “Neither have I. It’s alright. Do you want to stop?”

He shook his head fervently, tugging at the laces of your bodice. “No. I want you.”

You finished unbuttoning his trousers and they fell away, leaving him naked. You couldn’t see his… parts, but there was a slit between his legs, swollen and puckering. Cautiously, you touched it, and he gasped, his legs shaking.

“Does that hurt?” You asked in concern.

“Uh… no,” He said with a laugh. “It’s nice.”

“Sit down,” You told him, and he obeyed, propping himself up against a stump in the center of the circle, likely were Cetzu sat to practice his magic. You began to undress in front of him slowly. You felt a little awkward and unsure, but his eyes never left your body. As you watched, the slit opened a bit wider and you saw something bright red beginning to poke out. Your heart began to race.

When you were fully nude, you knelt in front of him and reached out to touch the pulsing slit, stroking it and teasing it a little. Cetzu groaned and his head fell back. His breathing was heavy and uneven.

“Tell me if I do something wrong,” You told him.

“What you’re doing is great, please keep doing it,” He begged.

As you touched it, it opened like a bloom, and not one but two thick, sharp-tipped members slid out of it, slick with his own lubricant. You felt your slit dripping as well, pulsing and throbbing. As you took one of his cocks in your hand, pumping it up and down, you reached between your legs and stroked yourself at the same time. The both of you moaned breathily and moved your hips in time with each other, completely in sync though you had yet to join together.

He reached out and cupped your cheek with his claws, pulling you forward to kiss your mouth and face and neck. He was doing that purring sound again, and it sent a tingle through your skin. He was now fully extended and erect. You pressed your body forward against his, your breasts pressed against his chest, and used him as leverage as you swung your right leg over his hip, and then the left, and pushed yourself up. Reaching down, you took the lower of the two and pushed it to your entrance.

“Ready?” You asked. He nodded wordlessly, petting your hair away from your face.

You lowered yourself down slowly onto him, feeling a little pop, though it wasn’t painful, and slipped all the way down the shaft. He gripped your hips, applying gentle pressure until you were flush against him, then held you close to him so that his free cock was pressed between the two of you. Slowly, you began to move, rocking against him. His hips moved at the same pace, pushing up into you as you rocked into him.

You raked your nails against his shoulders, speeding up as the throbbing got more intense. His purring became growling, but you weren’t afraid. His claws tightened around you, but you weren’t afraid. He thrust up into you harder, taking more control, but you weren’t afraid. Even when he grabbed you and flipped you onto your back on the ground, looming over you, kissing your bare breasts as he thrust, you felt a thrill, but no fear.

You reached between the two of you and took the second member in your hand, and he thrust against it, his body taut and trembling. He was close, you could feel it. With your other hand, you reached down and rubbing your pearl furiously, bringing yourself to that crest as well.

His back arched and he grunted as he came. You could feel the release inside you as well as painting your stomach and chest. Another few flicks of your fingers and you came after him, crying out against his shoulder.

He collapsed on top of you, and you wrapped both your arms and legs around him, holding him against you. The both of you gasped for air and lay in the soft clover, safe inside his magical shield.

He rolled on his side and kissed you. “I don’t know what to say now.”

You laughed. “It’s okay. This was a little… sudden.”

“Do you regret it?” He asked.

“No, of course not,” You said. “But I do think we should talk about what this means for us.”

“How so?”

“Well…” You sighed. “I’m all my dad has, and I know you don’t want to leave your family.”

Cetzu frowned. “I don’t know. I still feel an imbalance. I want to find a way to fix it.”

You sighed again but nodded. “I know, and I don’t know if I can help you. It’s like Feera said: it’s something you’ll have to figure out on your own. As much as I want to help, I don’t think it’s my place to assist in that.”

“Maybe not,” He said, taking your hand and kissing your palm. “Should we… stop this?”

“No! I mean, I don’t want to,” You said. “I care for you very much, but we both have responsibilities we can’t ignore.”

“So what do we do?” He asked, holding you closer.

“Perhaps we should slow down,” You replied thoughtfully. “This is new for both of us and we should take time to explore it. There’s no reason to jump into a life-long commitment right away. We could court each other, visit each other, still go on the merchant trips together. A long distance courtship could be… romantic. And it would give us both time and room to figure things out. What do you think?”

His grip around you tightened again, but he nodded. “As much as I’d like to be with you all the time, I think you’re right. There are factors in our lives that we can’t brush off. Your father needs you, and I need to find what it is I can do to feel like myself again. It may take time.”

“I know,” You said sadly. “It frustrates me, but it’s part of who you are, and if I’m to love you, I must love all of you, even the frustrating parts.”

He smiled at you fondly. “Heaven only knows how you put up with me.”

“It’s not easy,” You teased. He tickled you breathless.

You stayed there for the rest of the day, making love again, and when the temperature began to drop, signifying the coming of nightfall, the two of you cleaned up and dressed. He dismantled the shield spell with a wave of his hand and the two of you began the walk back to the farm, holding hands.

Thus began your new and uncertain courtship.

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Thanks for reading!

My Masterlist

The Exophilia Creator’s Masterlist

[tcthetouch]

𝓈𝑜𝓂𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝒾𝓉 𝓌𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎'𝓇𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓃𝑔, 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝒶 𝓈𝑜𝓊𝓁 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓎'𝓇𝑒 𝓊𝓃𝒶𝒻𝓇𝒶𝒾𝒹 𝓉𝑜 𝒷𝒶𝓇𝑒. 𝓅𝑒𝓇𝒽𝒶𝓅𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒'𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒.

『 jamie lee curtis. sixty-one. cis woman. she/her. 』 oh heavens, is that JUDITH MILLER from FAIR LANE i see roaming around mapleview? minnie may’s always calling them -CYNICAL & -SELFISH. i happen to think they’re not that bad! they’re a pretty cool “RETIRED” ACTRESS  and every time i’ve seen them, they’ve always been +MAGNETIC & +WITTY. i hope i see them around again! 『 may. 21. est. she/her. 』

hello my pals ! after a very long day, i am finally here with an intro for a sexy lowkey demon !

BACKGROUND:

triggers: emotional abuse, brief mention of war, brief mention of considered abortion, substance abuse, brief implication of child neglect, brief mentions of death (but like.... from old age)

So… I’m currently too tired to do the ‘whole chart,’ but… a Sagittarius. Know this.

Now, to understand our dear Judith, you must first understand her parents. Her mother was a wealthy young woman, progressive in her views on social issues… for the time. Nonetheless, she was expected to hold up the standards of the time. Her father was the younger brother of a man deemed ‘a great soldier’ who died fighting in WWII. Followed by the memory of him and his own parents’ obsession with the man, he placed pressure on himself to live up to that standard. Shame there was no war………………….

They met at Judith’s mother’s debutante ball and hit it off. It was, what they perceived to be, a match made in heaven. But that’s always easy to say – it’s harder to prove when a good night culminates in an unexpected pregnancy. To avoid any public scandal on her part, Judith’s mother and father married before she began showing and moved to Mapleview where she would become an excellent mother and he would live up to his brother’s standards by… he was still figuring it out… maybe making the next great scientific advancement? or writing the next great American novel?

Sadly, in spite of her lifetime’s worth of training, Judith’s mother… proved to lack natural maternal instinct. Perhaps it was passed down from her own mother, transgenerational trauma beginning long, long, long ago. Judith’s father was so consumed with his grand ideas that he hadn’t the time to help! Between becoming the next Walt Whitman one day and the next Albert Einstein the next, all while working for his father-in-law, he just didn’t have any time at all!

Their marriage grew strained and, as Judith grew, they made it even clearer that she was the cause. If she, herself, didn’t do something spectacular with her life, then it was all for nothing!

Her father wasn’t forced into the Vietnam War as a part of the drafting lottery. No, as it grew bigger, as the army grew more desperate, as she began slowly maturing, as his marriage continued falling apart, he voluntarily entered in 1965, when Judith was seven. Before drafting even began!

Before he entered the war, Judith was the victim of plenty of degrading remarks and the occasional Unusually Odd Punishment (think bojack horseman w like beatrice seeing ~7y/o bojack take a cigarette and forcing him to smoke all of it bc he couldn’t waste a perfectly good cigarette!). However, the remarks grew more biting after he left for “the war effort.” The two moved back to California, her mother’s birthplace, to be closer to her mother’s father – an even better source of income when his sympathies were being played on.

...but it was suddenly back-to-work, no-sympathies-for-you when the war ended and Judith’s father was still alive… and, furthermore, when the war was lost. 

With her parents’ marriage worse off than ever, Judith’s unconscious attempts to please them and live up to their expectations began sooner than they would have had the war been won. Or had her father been shot. 

Probably.

Commercials began at seventeen, but they weren’t impressive. Minor roles began at eighteen, but they weren’t impressive. It wasn’t until she was picked up by an actual agent at twenty that she began actually shining, so to speak. 

Which is actually a great accidental pun on my part, as her first big role was, much like JLC’s, in one of the first slasher movies ever made. Hoorah! But it still wasn’t impressive. It wasn’t big or prestigious, Katharine Hepburn wouldn’t have taken the role. 

But what was even less impressive? 

The pregnancy that followed shortly thereafter. 

Her first thought was to find a doctor who ‘specialized’ in such ‘inconveniences.’ Between the knowledge that a lack of maternal instinct ran in her blood, all women in her lineage getting mistreated to the point that they were simply unfit, as well as the knowledge that she would have to immediately quit the career that had just begun if she wanted to raise the child… 

But the father wound up being a hurdle. He was meant to be a one-night-stand, but he started showing up… again… and again… and again… until she relented and confessed to him that she was pregnant with his child (so she assumed, at least). He was insistent that she keep it… so the compromise became she wouldn’t abort it, but she would immediately hand it off to the man to raise on his own.

Daniel, named by his father, was born. Judith kept in occasional contact, but ultimately tried to leave that chapter behind her.

After that small bump in the road, her agent began lining up more career offers for her. They ranged from OK-I-guess to Not-Katharine-Hepburn-But-Close-Enough. So she clearly went for the latter ones!

Now, for someone who tried to stay clear-headed enough… it became pretty hard as she grew more popular, was invited to more parties, and… given the decade, was surrounded by cocaine! Thus began some more god-awful decisions, a list so long even Leo Tolstoy would put it down before he could finish reading it.

A few years through her increasingly successful career and she found out that she’s gotten pregnant yet again, this time being the result of a one-night-stand had during a borderline bender. For a few days, she obviously considered abortion again. But… how good would it be for her image if she cleaned up and had the baby… and, who knows! maybe she would break the chain of terrible mothers! if she was willing to sacrifice hedonism, then she was clearly doing something right! and… she also felt some remorse for barely keeping in contact with Daniel… so hoorah! replacement!

Turns out she also didn’t have that mothering instinct :\

But it was not, at all, for lack of trying. She never intentionally mistreated her child, Mia (named for Mia Farrow) – she had family days with her and hung out with her and… tried to figure out how to bond with her. She was never cruel like her mother or her mother’s mother or mother’s mother’s mother, so on and so forth and what have you, but… she was Innocently Insensitive. Still caught up in The Scene, there were some nights that were… very loud when she forgot Mia was trying to sleep and invited a bunch of people over. 

Some hedonistic tendencies returned and she found herself allowing a nanny to care for the child more and more often. Never malicious, never cruel, even asked Danny Devito to be Mia’s godfather… but still wound up being a really bad mom.

When Mia moved out, she was beginning to realize she was too old to continue going down the road she was on – to continue making the same mistakes over and over. One child was college-aged, the other was… somewhat older, although she’d lost track of the years. Yeah, she sent birthday cards and made calls every year, but time had just begun blurring together…

As a side-note, this was also around the time she was encouraged to write a memoir. She wound up having to get a memoirist which is a wc!!

The “best thing possible” happened when her mother died a year ago. Her father had already passed, but that was in Fresno – a quick trip. Her mother died in Mapleview, where her roots were laid. Also pls picture her eulogy for her mother like the eulogy in “Free Churro.” Anyway...

So what did Judith do?

Up and disappeared! 

It would’ve been a really excellent publicity stunt… if she’d ever returned. 

She likes to pretend she’ll never return to Los Angeles. The mountain air is so clean and crisp, life is so much simpler, people are so much less… corrupt.

Alas… somewhere in the back of her mind, has many plans to return to her old life. But she needs to make amends first, right?

TL;DR:

(tread lightly if any triggers under ‘backstory’ are triggers for you!)

born in mapleview. parents were awful but also it was a case of transgenerational trauma so there are nuances there. father “abandoned” her and her mom to go fight in the vietnam war bc he wasn’t able to fight in wwii like his brother. came back and joined them in fresno and judith’s mom was like “well u guys lost.... cant say it was unexpected with someone like u fighting :\” judith was like “well i’ve learned i’m what ruined their marriage even tho i’m also the reason they got married so guess i’ll go make something of myself bc i want them to be proud.” eventually got cast in a halloween-esque movie, because of course. got pregnant, yeet’d it to the father, “it” being daniel. became a class-a hedonist. got pregnant again, but got clean and kept her, named her “mia”. was a pretty good mom for a while, then forgot that kids weren’t “used” to the 1980s/90s equivalent of modern-day raves. mia left for college. judith was like “wait,,, im too old 2 keep living this life omg.” mom died a year ago. was like “oh wow perfect excuse to come back to mapleview and pretend i never lived in los angeles ever in my entire life goodbye all ties and connections!!!”

PERSONALITY/MISC.:

spent the majority of her life trying to live up to the expectations set by her mom when she basically said “you better be something great to make up for being alive” + trying to unconsciously make up for ‘ruining’ her parents’ marriage.

ngl family took inspiration from the sugarman-horseman family in bojack horseman bc i just finished rewatching it and :\ i miss it :\ which, in turn, means there’s a tiny bit of muse inspo from the eponymous, but,,,,,,,, like she may not be a good person,,,,,,, but if u’ve so much as seen up to s2e11,,,,, she aint THAT bad.

further basis was fictional director kelsey jannings (of such fame as “women who love women who love recycling”) when she said that celebrities tend to stagnate at the age they got famous. and judith got famous when she was 20.

I FEEL LIKE I NEED TO MAKE IT EXCESSIVELY CLEAR THAT SHE NEVER HAD MALICIOUS INTENTS TOWARDS HER CHILDREN. she just knew she wasn’t ready to be a mother with daniel - it was terrible timing and she genuinely worried about how she would be as a mother ( considering how poor maternal instincts were... basically passed down through generations ) - and she didn’t know how to connect with mia, especially as an addict in the hollywood machine that was literally filled with drugs, thus proving her hypothesis that she would be a poor mother correct. like... I JUST NEED TO MAKE IT CLEAR THAT THERE WAS NO ABUSE INVOLVED. SHE AT LEAST DID BETTER THAN HER MOTHER WITH THAT ASPECT.

but, as marina once said, “[she’s] now becoming [her] own self-fulfilled prophecy. oh, oh no! oh no! oh no!”

saddie disguised as a baddie.

also spent the majority of her life as an absolute hedonist. remains one, but is currently clean and trying to remain that way... maybe...

wants to be good so very bad, but doesn’t know how to be.

in spite of said hedonistic and escapist tendencies, she does have a very strong work-ethic. you know. thanks to both her parents + her capricorn moon.

no way to avoid saying she’s selfish, though. no way to.

CONNECTION IDEAS:

** all are open to any gender

her other child (a wc on the main!)

her memoirist (a wc on the main!)

her childhood friend from when she was still living in mapleview (a wc on the main!)

some fans! idk!

arm candy. pls. she’s bi so. they can be a himbo or a herbo or a thembo. 

you see she’s decently older than all of the characters so i feel like most of this will rely on brainstorming and/or chemistry in threads

FEEL FREE TO EITHER LIKE THIS OR HMU 2 PLOT!!