#fanderpridemeetup2019

[mush-is-dying]

hi here's some logicality for the soul

ibis paint x nearly gave up on me around the 10th layer and my heart kind of compressed together with itself and went "nuuuuu"

this is also for the first prompt/theme of the fander pride meetup thing! which is good it's a good

@fander-pride-meetup

[roxiusagi]

so, unfortunately, I didn’t have time to participate in the first week, but here at least i did these doodles of ma bois for week two

i might have got the prompt wrong, sorry :V

@fander-pride-meetup

[poisonedapples]

My Happy Ending

Summary: Roman looks back on how much Patton has changed.

Pairings: Platonic Prinxiety, Romantic Logicality, past Queerplatonic Royality

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Angst with a bittersweet ending, suicide mentions, allusions to neglect, transphobia, abandonment mentions, slight aphobia, swearing, food mentions and one mention of vomiting, deadnames being used in flashbacks. Patton is also more of the bad guy in this one. The songs used in this are “The Things We Used To Share” by Thomas Sanders, and “Change Your Mind” from Steven Universe

Note: For the second week of the @fander-pride-meetup (which is one day early, oops), I told the story of me and my first relationship. It’s not the happiest story I have (as you can see by the triggers), but it’s one that has shaped me a lot and holds a special place in my heart. So have the biggest contribution to all the things I wish I could say to someone who still holds a special place in my heart, and hopefully enjoy <3

One day, he was going to get a husband.

He wanted it more than anything else in this world. Even when his parents screamed at each other outside of his door, he wanted a husband. He wanted to break the cycle of divorce, of loveless love. He wanted to be held, loved by someone. More than anything in this world, Roman wanted love.

Although the music he blasted through his headphones didn’t muffle all the screaming, all the insults and “Fuck you!”s, all the questions of why his mom didn’t just leave his dad if she hated him so much, he could pretend the outside to his room didn’t exist. He dreamed of this hypothetical man, waiting for his prince to come.

—

One day, Roman was going to stop crying about this.

He tried his hardest, even on his loneliest nights. He kept his mind on Disney, or his homework, his job, rehearsals, anything other than being sprawled face-first in his bed and moping. But Roman was too caught in the depressing thoughts he wants to avoid to notice his steps were anything but quiet. He was stomping down his hallway, barely stopping himself from slamming his door behind him. There was a pit in his chest, a feeling he knew better than any other emotion. Loneliness.

On one hand, he wanted to bask in it. He wanted to lie in his misery, be hateful of the world and everything that had led up to this. Maybe cry for a solid forty minutes for good measure, maybe then Roman would finally calm down. Would finally stop looking at the things held inside his phone that were only hurting him more. Messages, the photo, a crystal ring on his right hand that held all the things that made him want to sleep it all away. Things that held the cold, hard truth; Patton wasn’t coming back. And Roman didn’t have the heart to accept that.

His feet carried themselves to his bedroom, plopping face first in a hoard of pillows covered in Disney. It didn’t take long to realize how hard it was to breathe with your face shoved in fabric, so Roman flipped over on his side and stared at his wall instead. He didn’t blink, only stared at the ukulele on the other side of the room like it had personally attacked him.

That photo felt like it had gone through Roman’s eyes and burned a seething hole right in his chest. A sinking, nauseous feeling with a touch of the unbearable fear of abandonment he was forced to face right now. The person who had been his only constant for the last five years left without a care in the world. Even after ten months, it still hurt. But with that, a thought so unbearably true, crossed Roman’s mind in that moment. It’s hurting you, but not him. Patton’s doing just fine. He’s already forgotten about you.

Well, just because it’s true doesn’t mean you should say it.

That wasn’t even Roman being dramatic this time, it was true. Patton just wasn’t...Patton anymore, not the sweet and kind and bubbly personality he loved. He had a different air to him. He made jokes that made Roman uneasy, hung out with all the people Roman couldn’t dare to trust, always seemed so unnaturally mature now. He wasn’t his Patton. His Patton didn’t smile like that. His smile was too different now. It wasn’t bubbly, just sheer joy and unapologetic amusement anymore, it had a different air to it. Roman couldn’t describe it, but he /knew/. Patton’s smile was different, he was sure of it.

So many thoughts. So many memories with Patton etched all over them, searching for the moment where things could have possibly gone wrong, what colossal mistake Roman must have made to cost him the most important person in his life but he didn’t want to accept that it was that moment, the moment he knew was the mistake, but dammit Roman can only take so much rejection before he snaps.

But then again, maybe he already did.

He couldn’t take it anymore. So many thoughts, way too many thoughts, he needed something to occupy his hands with and as much of his brain as his brain would cooperate with. He got up and grabbed the ukulele that he had been staring at for a solid five minutes and sat back down on his bed. At first, he just played some random notes, watching and hearing the vibrations, tuning it a little, but that in itself can only do so much. So instead, Roman decided to play a song he felt matched his present feelings as well as it could. A singer he follows online, one of his first songs ever created, that expressed the same things Roman couldn’t seem to get out without crying on the floor. As the introducing piano played in his mind, waiting for his own part with his fingers already placed, Roman’s mind drifted to the past. Old memories that leave a bitter taste in his mouth now.

Freshman year, Roman’s fourth period gym class that he was only a part of for the graduation requirement. Although the actor was an amazing dancer for the school plays, he couldn’t hit a volleyball correctly to save his life. He didn’t know how to hold a football and stood in the corner during the soccer games they had. Though, perfect for Roman, the gym teachers were so laid back that it didn’t matter how much he genuinely participated, his grade was still a 100. Even though he was embarrassed in front of his classmates, at least he was getting that credit.

But there was one problem: Group stuff. When it was time for everyone to pair up with partners, Roman was always the kid awkwardly teamed up with whoever didn’t make it to a friend in time. With all the athletic kids or the popular girls that didn’t even bother to participate, Roman felt like the outlier. No group partner he’d had managed to stick at all, and it was both annoying and hurtful. He couldn’t keep a partner for one semester class.

That is, until this specific group work.

It was the beginning of a badminton unit, so Roman stood around waiting for the inevitable person to practice the hits with until class was over. When his partner did come over, it was a person with curly blonde hair, chubby with a pair of black, thick-rimmed glasses on their face. Their smile was bright and bubbly, yet shy as they walked up to the person they had never talked with before. At first glance and a while after that, Roman thought he was a girl.

But then again, he thought he was a girl once too.

“You can have the toaster and the PC…”

“Hi!” He greeted, worn out tennis shoes walking across the gym floor to stand next to Roman. “I’m Leah, what’s your name?”

“Or even my Timothy Green DVD…”

Roman’s brain took a moment to process. “Uh, Mia. Let’s go get some rackets to get this over with.”

Patton’s laughter reassured Roman that his words had managed to come off as a joke. Good. Usually he sounded too serious when he was nervous. “I’m absolutely gonna fail at this. I can’t do any sport to save my life.”

“I feel that on a personal level. But hey, maybe this will be the secret sport you’re so gifted at you can take to the Olympics.”

“Let’s find out! ...If they even have badminton in the Olympics…”

“I’ll let you have the couch, and the PC…”

Badminton was not the miracle sport for either of them. While the other teams had managed to hit the birdie ten, fifteen times until it fell, Roman and Patton were cheering when they got to three. But honestly, they were both more focused on talking to the other than really practicing for the game. Turned out, Roman really liked Patton. He was a good person, apparently also in three of his core classes, and as bubbly and smart as a person could be. They told stories, talked about themselves, laughed and joked as if they’d been friends their whole lives. It was one of the most fun days Roman had ever had in his Freshman year.

Because that one moment in gym, he made a friend. His first best friend since elementary school. His first friend that genuinely seemed like a real friend to him. At least, at the time, but that time led to what made Roman realize what it felt like not to feel alone. To have someone by your side for five years.

Until it all came crashing down.

“Hang on to that jacket that you bought for me…” Roman couldn’t help it at this point. That memory had such a sour taste to it now, once everything was all said and done. Once he lost what he thought he never could. Never would.

“I don’t really care, you can keep the things we used to share,” Roman’s mind went to a closer memory. One that took place not even three months ago, and he felt his body tense at it. “But what did you do with my heart?”

It was the college’s LGBT group a little over two months ago, one that Roman joined because he figured it’d be a good place to make some friends, and at first, seemed like things could only get better with how he saw Patton in the corner for the first day. Excited to see his best friend, Roman ran up to him and another person he was talking with. “Patton! Hello there, my little puffball!”

Patton didn’t give much of a greeting, but he brushed it off once he noticed that he was in the middle of telling something to this other guy. Roman first noticed that he and Patton had the same glasses, but also wondered what kind of college student would ever wear a tie and polo shirt to places. But who knows, maybe he just got back from a presentation.

The night passed with Roman sticking to Patton and the other guy (Logan, he later found out) considering they were the only two people who knew there. They talked off in the corner, but Roman didn’t realize until later that really, he was listening more than he was talking. Because Patton wasn’t paying equal attention.

“What did you do with my heart?”

He doesn’t remember how they got to that topic, really. Maybe it’s because the aftermath shocked him so much, but all he really remembers was Patton’s response to something Logan had said. “I don’t have a best friend.”

Roman, in joking offense, scoffed and put a hand to his chest. “Wow. Rude.”

Apparently, Roman was the only one that was joking.

“No, really.” Patton said, turning to Roman with complete seriousness. No remorse in sight. “I mean, yeah, I’m close to you, but you’re not my best friend. I just think best friends are childish.”

Roman’s heart stopped.

“No more fireworks, no more compass,”

Childish. They were childish, according to Patton. According to the person Roman considered his best friend. According to Roman’s supposed best friend, having a best friend was childish. His lungs filled with dry ice, so cold they burned. His stomach was made of lead. Childish.

“You didn’t leave a single butterfly in my stomach, you took my spyglass, no knowing what lies ahead...”

Suddenly, the very ground Roman was standing on burned. The name tag was searing a whole through his shirt, the building’s air filled with toxin. He needed to leave. The meeting hadn’t even started yet, but he need to leave.

So he did. And he didn’t come back, not saying a single word to anyone that was there, including Patton. He just left.

And Patton never said a word about it.

“You took my warmth at night but left a dent in my bed...” That one hurt a lot. How ignorant Patton seemed to be about what Roman might feel if he said something like that. He likes to think that maybe he just didn’t know, maybe Roman made a mistake at some point, for Patton to think their friendship had no chance of surviving, so he gave up. But he searched and searched and searched...and he couldn’t find it.

“I don’t really care you can keep the things we used to share,” Four years ago, Roman never thought that he’d be here, singing a song like this and thinking of Patton. “But what did you do with my heart?”

But Roman also didn’t expect to ever be more than friends with Patton. At least, not five years ago.

Not until after that night under the stairs.

“What did you do with my heart?”

Sophomore year, fifteen minutes before Roman was getting ready for a final rehearsal before his winter orchestra concert. Patton had come over to watch since none of Roman’s family was coming, walking around with him around the school to pass the time before Roman had to go back to the orchestra room. They ended up walking down one of the wings, until Roman pulled Patton under the stairs with shaky hands. He’d been meaning to do this for a while, but he wanted to do it in person, and Patton was usually so busy…

But today, Patton was right in front of him. And he decided to take his chance. “I want to tell you something.”

Patton’s eyes widened with worry, and Roman grew a little frantic. “Nothing bad! At least, I hope it’s not bad, cause you’re my best friend and I wouldn’t want you to think I’m bad-”

“Mia,” Patton said, placing a hand on Roman’s arm. “You’re rambling.”

“Right, yeah…” A deep breath, a small smile, then the words managed to come out. “I’m gay.”

Patton’s reaction was instant, no hesitation, no thought, just an immediate smile and bouncing on his feet in joy. “Mia I’m so proud of you!”

Patton flung himself at Roman, wrapping his arms around him and squeezing as hard as he could in joy. For a moment, Roman froze. Although yes, it felt nice to have his best friend holding him...Roman can’t remember the last time he was hugged. If he ever was. He didn’t know where to put his arms, or if he was just supposed to just stand there and take it. But before Roman could figure out what he wanted to do, Patton had pulled back, smiling at him.

“You’ve stripped me of my pride, that’s for the best,”

The two talked a little more as they began to walk Roman back to the orchestra room, his high heels clicking on the floor like a principal walking down the hallways. Roman first came out as a lesbian before he knew anything else about himself. Before he knew that he was trans, and had assumed that his lack of attraction toward anyone was a lack of attraction to boys only. Although he had heard of the terms aromantic and asexual, Roman was convinced those weren’t for him. Aromantic people didn’t want to marry. Roman wanted that more than anything in the world.

So, he was convinced for three years that he was a gay cis woman. And on the first night he had ever come out, he wasn’t expecting one of Patton’s more delayed reactions.

“But you’ve also deprived me of a full night’s rest,”

Patton’s eventual confession. On that same night.

“I’m pan.” He whispered, and Roman’s eyes brightened once he realized he had a best friend in the same community as him. Although the two weren’t able to talk much about it before Roman had to go to his rehearsal, the two later talked on the phone and took solace in being openly out to one accepting person. One that was their best friend.

“So no more dreams where we pull through,”

And right before Roman went into the orchestra room, if he was paying attention…

“I’ll look for you in the crowd!”

“Break a leg! But not actually, please!”

...He would have seen the lovestruck blush on Patton’s face.

“And I can’t collect my thoughts cause they’re still with you…” Roman remembers the years after that. The confusion but the absolute certainty. The love but the debate on what kind of love. The story of the ring on Roman’s right hand.

For Valentine’s Day in Junior year, Roman had given Patton a ring identical to the one he was still wearing today. It seemed fitting, considering how badly Roman wanted Patton to be his soulmate, and for how long they were convinced that they were soulmates. It took Roman a long time, from Christmas in that Junior year, to realize that he might have a crush on Patton. He didn’t get the butterflies, the plaguing thoughts, blushes or any other feelings he had heard came from crushes, but he had no idea what else it could be. He didn’t get butterflies, but his heart jumped like an excited puppy each time he saw Patton calling him. His thoughts weren’t plagued with him, but Roman imagined his entire future living with Patton, being with him, and it seemed like almost anything could happily remind him of his best friend. He decided he must have a crush because it certainly felt stronger than best friends, but he didn’t know what else it could be.

So, Roman decided it must be a crush, since he couldn’t think of anything else. And eventually, he told Patton this, who in turn confessed his own feelings. That’s what led to the both of them calling the other their “wife”, curiously discussing spending the rest of their lives together, and what led to Roman giving Patton the ring after school on Valentine’s Day.

Even when they weren’t officially dating, the two acted like they were already long married. And Roman wanted to keep it this way forever.

Until Patton lost the ring in a public bathroom off in Indiana one day, not telling Roman until months later. Until Roman made Patton another ring and a necklace to go with it so he never lost it. Until Roman realized Patton didn’t wear the ring or the necklace.

But Roman still wore the ring to this very day, even when Patton hardly ever did. It was a special connection to him, all through Senior year and into his first year of college.

Senior year, Roman thought. The year everything started going to hell.

“I don’t really care...”

Within the first few weeks of Senior year, Patton came out as a trans man to Roman. Patton had been talking about questioning his gender for a while, but it still shocked Roman at first. But what shocked him most of all, was that despite being “gay”, Roman still loved him. He still felt the same feelings for Patton that he has for over a year now.

And Roman’s mind began to spiral.

“...You can keep the things we used to share...”

He began searching and labels all over again, and as he did so, he realized that he missed one crucial detail from the aromantic community the first time. The term squish. The term queerplatonic.

“Queerplatonic relationships are not another way to say ‘best friends’. People who are in QPRs (queerplatonic relationships) spend the rest of their lives with their partners, instead of just living separate but interweaving lives like best friends. People in QPRs can even buy houses together or platonically marry, but each QPR is different. Really, it depends on the comfort of the people involved and their own boundaries they establish.”

...Holy shit, Roman thought, holy shit holy fuck you can fucking do that!?

It seemed like every mystery of life had been solved with just one paper on the internet about the aroace community. Every feeling, every moment with Patton that didn’t seem to make sense no matter how black and white he tried to simplify it to had fallen into place before his very eyes. He no longer had an excuse to ignore being aroace. His fear of never being able to marry had been solved with a research paper.

It all fit him so much. It all fit so well.

“But what did you do with my heart?”

He was no longer afraid to ask Patton out. He was no longer afraid of being in a relationship. He found one that fit him. He found new labels that fit him. And when the time came just right, he would tell Patton. He would come out all over again, he would ask Patton to be his QPP.

But it didn’t go to plan the way he thought at all.

Because that night, he got messages from Patton.

“I came out to my parents last night.”

“Are you okay?”

Terrifying ones.

“They hate me now. Dad won’t look me in the eyes.”

“I’m so sorry, Patton.”

“I can’t live like this. I wanna die.”

Ones that made Roman’s heart skip beats.

“Patton, even with your parents not accepting you, there’s still other things to live for.”

“I don’t think I want to live to see them.”

For thirty minutes, Roman talked Patton out of suicide with shaky hands. He managed to give Patton enough little reasons to have him promise he wasn’t going to do anything, but Roman was still scared. Still scared of losing his best friend for the rest of the night, before he could even come out to him or confess. Although he wanted to come out at the right time, when he felt ready, he didn’t want to miss a chance. At the very least, he didn’t want Patton to die not knowing how Roman felt.

Which is what led to the next day, Roman frantically knocking on Patton’s front door after he didn’t respond to any of Roman’s messages for the last five hours.

And to Roman’s relief, Patton answered.

“Hi, Roman-” He couldn’t help it. Even though he didn’t know what to do during a hug, Roman tackled at Patton and basically held his entire weight on him. If Patton was to let go, Roman was sure that he’d fall and hit his head right on the concrete front step right behind him. But he didn’t care. Patton was alive.

“Are you okay!? Why haven’t you answered me any!?”

Patton’s smile looked dull. Like someone had forced out the sunshine from it. “I was fighting with my mom. Screamed a lot, cried even more, but she sent me an email from her work. She called me by my name and said she’s gonna look for a gender therapist for me. They’re both gonna try, especially since I said some...harsh things during that fight. Things I’m not gonna repeat.”

Roman smiled. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“I was only just now reading your messages. You said you wanted to tell me something?”

“...Yes. Yes, I did.”

So Roman told him. All of his confusion over the years, his denial of his identity because of the terrifying fear of never getting to do what he wanted most: to marry. How he found queerplatonic, what queerplatonic meant, and how he realized that he was mistaken with his crush on Patton. It wasn’t a crush, but a squish instead. And after so long of not knowing what to do, confused of moving forward and actually asking Patton out, he knew what he really wanted.

He put his fear of rejection behind him, for one small moment, Roman had courage he always feigned to possess. He asked Patton to be his QPP.

“I would love to, Mia!”

“What did you do with my heart?”

Roman strummed and sang, sang the little intermission between the chorus and the next part of the song with teary eyes. His voice was slightly broken, breathing getting harder to do while both singing while crying and having a binder on, but he still sang. Even as he remembered their old moments together, both good and bad.

Before new moments stopped coming with them. Before Roman got his one month of having a partner he was happy with, and it all came crumbling down.

“I wouldn’t take it back even though I feel sore…”

For good.

“I meant it when I said—”

“—What’s mine is yours!” Roman announced, opening up the door to his bedroom for Patton for the first time. “You know what they say; Mi casa es su casa!”

“I don’t, actually,” Patton had a mischievous grin on his face. “Not everyone took Spanish, you know.”

“That’s because you’re a German heathen!”

“Ich bin schuldig.” He said, Roman placing his hands on his hips in disapproval. “Precisely what I mean. Heathen.”

“You don’t even know what I said!”

“I don’t have to in order to know you’re a heathen!”

Patton laughed and sat down on Roman’s bed, never having been to his house before. Usually Roman just went over to Patton’s, but because his parents were both away for the weekend, Roman had been able to invite his new QPP over for a day. His bed was covered in Disney pillows and soft blankets, the whole room being more eclectic than having an actual theme. But it all encompassed Roman perfectly, and he loved it. “Love you too, Mia.”

Roman paused right in his tracks for a moment, processing. The words etched themselves right into Roman’s brain, even when Patton had said it multiple times before, as well as many other cute pet names and cheesy flirts. He felt his body fill with energy, bouncing on the balls of his feet.

“Sorry, I’m sorry,” He said, silently squealing with his hand over his mouth. “That just made me happy.”

Patton didn’t comment, just smiled as he waited for Roman to calm down and sit next to him on the bed, where they watched YouTube on Patton’s phone of some of their mutual favorite YouTubers, snacked around downstairs, and had an overall good time until the sun started to set, and Patton needed to go home.

It lasted one month.

“But I need to know,”

“You said you wanted to talk to me?”

“I don’t know if I can do this anymore.”

“What do you mean?”

“I just don’t think I’m ready for a relationship, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do because I don’t wanna hurt you.”

You ended up making it hurt worse.

“Now that we’re apart,”

“Well...what do you want to do?”

“I don’t know what I want.”

“Okay...then how about we just...take a break. We can take a small break, and you can come back to me and tell me what you want to do, okay?”

“Alright...gotta go, bye.”

“...Bye…”

“What did you do?”

That break lasted five months, Roman being too afraid to bring it up again while Patton didn’t send him a single text message, all through summer until College was getting ready to start. In that time, Roman came out as trans to Patton over text, and Patton responded four days later. Patton texted him first to vent twice, but those were the only times. Roman didn’t have the heart to ask for Patton’s decision. Because deep down, he already knew the answer.

Five months after their break, Roman got the courage. To talk to Patton, ask him for his decision. “Sorry Ro, I’m not ready for a relationship yet.”

And it was finally over.

“I need to know,”

For good. That was the last time Roman had a conversation with Patton that lasted more than two minutes.

“Now that we’re apart,”

Daily texts turned into monthly. Monthly turned into none at all.

After a while, Roman stopped trying.

“What did you do with my heart!?”

Roman was so afraid of losing his best friend, his first partner ever, that he didn’t realize he had already lost him.

“What did you do with my…”

Roman couldn’t even call Patton his friend anymore. He was his ex-QPP. His ex-best friend. In all forms of the word, Patton was his ex.

But the worst part of it all, was what Roman had found out after.

“Heart!?”

What Roman learned not even from Patton himself.

“What did you do with my heart?”

The words that haunted his mind.

“What did you do with my heart?”

Roman strummed some more. He couldn’t see with all the tears in front of his eyes, but once the final chord of the song had been played, he could hear the slightest creak of a floorboard right in front of his bedroom door.

Words that he didn’t learn from Patton. But words he had to accidentally discover from their old, long-term friend—

“Hey dude, you doing okay?”

Virgil.

“...How long have you been standing there?” Roman frantically wiped away the tears from his eyes, placing his ukulele to the side and finally being able to see Virgil. He was leaning on the doorframe to Roman’s bedroom, his signature purple hoodie over a black tank top despite the temperatures only now getting colder. Also he tried to present himself as smug, uncaring, Roman could see into his eyes. He could see the concern.

“A while, honestly. The entire damn campus heard you slam your door and stomp like you were a fucking SWAT team coming through, so I went to check on you. You need to learn to lock your door, by the way.”

“Yeah, I noticed.” Roman’s words sounded like spiteful venom, and Virgil put his hands up in surrender. Roman fell back onto the bed, occupying his hands by mindlessly strumming the strings, watching them vibrate. “I’m just joking, it’s chill. But actually, you okay dude? You look like death, and judging from the song...I have a feeling I know who this is about.”

Roman paused for a moment to stare at his roof. “...Did you see his Instagram?”

“You know I only have Tumblr, Princey.”

Roman didn’t respond. He took his phone out of his pocket, scrolling for a moment while Virgil awkwardly stood there, until he finally shoved his phone in Virgil’s hands. It took him a moment to process what was on the screen in front of him, but Roman saw the change in expression. The way his eyes opened wide, and how he mouthed a simple “...Oh.”

On the phone was a single Instagram post made by Patton_Foster2000, the picture that burned a hole right through Roman’s hand as he held his phone. The one that filled his stomach with lead. In the photo, Patton was next to a boy that both Virgil and Roman could recognize. Although his clothing was more casual than the last time Roman saw him, he was still dressed semi-formal just for the fun of it, the same black-rimmed glasses that Patton had on his own face. He was smiling slightly as he looked straight at the camera Patton’s arm was holding up for a selfie. But most of all, Patton was kissing his cheek.

Patton_Foster2000: Happy six months with this cutie! Love you Logan <3 ^-^

“...He didn’t even tell me.”

Virgil looked back at Roman at the sound of his sad voice, the crook of his elbow lying over his eyes. “Remember when me and Pat used to tell each other almost everything? Me neither!”

“I...really don’t know what to say, Roman. I mean, he doesn’t tell me anything either, but then again we weren’t ever as close as you two were, so…”

“I know I’m probably overthinking this. Maybe he just never thought to, maybe he thought I left him, I don’t know. But...six months? He got with someone he barely knew four months after we broke up? And I’m still upset over him? But he’s moved on? Does he even remember me?”

Virgil didn’t know what to do for a while. He stared at Roman on the bed with his eyes still covered, until Roman eventually felt the bed dip and someone crawl over him. Virgil fit himself between Roman and the wall, mindlessly staring up at the patterns on the ceiling. The only sounds in the room for a while was the sound of breathing and sighs, until Virgil decided to say something he hoped could be helpful. The shit he did for his friend. “Maybe he doesn’t, no one knows.”

“Wow, thank you.”

“Let me finish, bastard.” Roman sighed dramatically, but didn’t interrupt further. “Anyway, maybe he doesn’t remember you. Maybe he does but doesn’t give a shit. Maybe he remembers and gives a shit, but doesn’t know what to do. But does it really matter anymore? You two are going in different paths now. You’re gonna write and perform, he’s gonna be a therapist. You wanna get out of this dinky town, he wants to stay and settle down as soon as possible. You and I both know that shit is changing, things are different than the high school days, and people come and go. Even ones...that promise that they’ll stay.”

Roman removed his arm from his face, the crook of his elbow wet and his eyelashes sticking together. “Yes, but... I don’t know. It’s harder because it was him. He made me think I could do anything, could be anything. He was there for me when I needed him the most. He was the only person I had when mom left.”

“And then he changed.”

“He did…” It was hard to acknowledge that, but it was the truth. Patton wasn’t the bubbly personality that Roman remembered. He didn’t smile the same, his words were colder than they ever were before. Over one difficult summer, when Roman decided to take a risk, he lost it all. He wanted to show Patton the real love he felt for him. And Patton left and never returned.

And he didn’t even say the real reason why. The worst part of that summer, is what Roman had found out after.

Two months after he and Patton had officially broken up, Roman and Virgil went out for lunch during the weekend. In all honesty, he doesn’t remember how the conversation had turned to Patton. Maybe it was just by chance, maybe Virgil was asking questions. He couldn’t remember, and in truth, he didn’t know if he wanted to.

What Roman hadn’t even found out from Patton himself.

“Remember how we were in that queerplatonic relationship?”

“I think you told me, yeah.”

Roman stirred his lemonade with his straw, focusing intently on the drink in front of him. “We ended up getting on a break for a while after that. A couple of months later, that’s when he broke up with me.”

The words that haunted his mind.

“That’s shitty, dude.”

“Stop swearing when there are toddlers behind you.”

“They’re gonna say them eventually, it’s okay.”

“You’re evil.”

“Good, my aesthetic is growing.”

Words that he didn’t learn from Patton.

“But, yeah.” Roman let out an awkward laugh. “I mean, I can understand it, I just wish that he would talk to me, you know? But it’s understandable.”

“It is?”

“Well, yes. He just said it was because he wasn’t ready for a relationship.”

“Yeah, that’s true.” Virgil took a bite of a fry from the box. “I don’t know, it’s just that when he told me the fact that he said it was because ‘I don’t want a relationship that’s just friends’ just kinda...rubbed me the wrong way, you know?”

But words he had to accidentally discover from their old, long-term friend Virgil.

Roman felt his heart stop. He couldn’t breathe without putting constant effort into it. The air was freezing, and a sickening feeling blew itself right into his chest. “...He said that?”

Roman saw Virgil’s face go even whiter as his breath hitched, eyes widening. “He didn’t tell you?”

“No! No he did not!”

“Dude, I am so sorry, I thought you knew!”

“He doesn’t want a relationship that’s ‘just friends’!? So he doesn’t want to affiliate with me unless he can get into my pants!?” Virgil went silent, running a hand through his hair and rubbing at the back of his neck, but Roman was feeling everything and nothing at the same time. His chest was collapsing in on itself. Maybe he should take off his binder. “Did four years mean nothing to him if he can’t ‘get the guy’ at the end? And what’s with the ‘just’ friends? It’s not meaningful enough for him so he just drops me? And then lies about it!?”

“I mean…” Virgil sounded quiet, timid almost. Roman knew how much he hated anger. “He said he also wasn’t ready too, so he didn’t really lie, I guess…”

“...It doesn’t matter. It’s fine. I’m glad to see he cares about me so much. I’m glad everyone I care about keeps dropping me.” He felt sick, like the food he had just ate would come out in chunks from its place stuck in the bottom of his throat. He didn’t wanna cry, he wanted to hide in a hole and forget other people in the world existed, just like they did with him. “I wanna go home, now…”

“Yeah, let’s just leave, it’s fine…” Virgil picked up the tray and put the leftovers in a bag, throwing away spare wrappers into the trash before heading toward the door. Roman followed right behind him, and the car ride was silent except for the music coming out of the speakers. And all the way through that car ride and from when Virgil left Roman’s house at 10 in the afternoon, Roman couldn’t get his mind off of Patton.

“I don’t want a relationship that’s just friends.”

“I just thought that he would always support me, at the very least.” Roman fiddled with the crystal ring on his right hand, old and slightly rusted from over the years, the band so thin it might just break. “I was so confident that we would get married. We both were. I thought I had found my soulmate in my Freshman year of high school, I loved him so much. We loved each other so much. But in the span of six months it all came crashing down, just because I had decided to start accepting myself. Now, I’m not sure I feel so prideful. I never understood ace people feeling broken until now.”

“Some people are just gonna do that, even in our own community.” Virgil shrugged his shoulders. “But at the end of the day, the thing that really matters are the people who stay through it all. People are gonna leave and be bastards no matter how long you live, that’s just how people function. Some people are gonna hurt a shit ton more when they leave, cause people are shit and that’s just truth. But the thing that matters is that eventually, it leads to meeting better people, or having better experiences. Growing and all that shit, you know?”

“True...it’s just more hard to accept when for so long you think someone is one of those better people. He was my happy ending, and now my happy ending is gone. What now?”

“Find another happy ending until one sticks,” Roman stopped fiddling with his ring to look over at Virgil, still staring straight up without a care in the world. So much irony in that one sentence. “A book can end in a million different ways if you’re not a fucking coward. And goals are goals, your goal was to spend your life with Patton and it didn’t work out. That’s how most relationships work. So you mope about it when you need to, but eventually you move forward. And Patton has moved on. It’s time you do too, at least for your own sake. Be sad about Pat as much as you want, so long as you keep going.”

Virgil heard a wet laugh come from his left, and only then did he take his gaze off the ceiling to look at Roman. “You are...an excellent friend, Virgil.”

“Nope, nope nope nope, fuck this, fuck that with a ten foot pole!” He suddenly stood up and jumped over Roman off the bed, making his way to the door. “You’re not putting that sappy shit on me now, bitch! Back with that shit!”

He couldn’t help it. Roman laughed hard despite the slight choke still in his voice, Virgil making a cross with his fingers in his direction. “You are incorrigible!”

“I talked with you about too much emotion bullshit for my comfort! If you’re getting sappy on me now I’m stealing some ramen from you and nope-ing the fuck out of here!”

“How can you be so cruel to me and deny my love!?”

“Cause your love is shit and you can give it to Zac Efron instead, you whore!”

“You call me out like this in my own home!?”

“Duh,” Virgil tempted, “Massive fucking bet.”

“I will annihilate you.”

“Do it, you heard me. Big bet.”

Roman glared him down as he sat up, Virgil starting to nervously laugh the more he stared him down. He moved his foot to prepare to stand and run, and that’s when Virgil took a dart for it, running across the dorm to the couch and jumping over the back side. Before he managed to open his eyes and run again, Virgil felt a massive weight plop down right on his chest. The two took a moment to laugh, but Virgil watched Roman in concern when he heard his heavy breathing. Shit, he’s wearing his binder. “Take that off, dude, you know you shouldn’t run in it.”

“I…” He swallowed and breathed deeply once more. “I had to get you, though.”

“And now you lose your binder rights.”

Roman groaned. “I’ve only been wearing it for four hours!”

“Who cares, time to take it off!”

He groaned some more and slowly got off of Virgil’s chest, sitting up and noticing the picture of Patton from their Junior year sitting on the side table. Virgil noticed where his eyes were going and for a moment thought he was going to get upset again, but Roman instead looked in Virgil’s direction. “Could you do me one more favor, Virgil?”

“Depends. What is it?”

“I believe it’s...time to get rid of some things being held onto for far too long. I think it’s time to clean up some hurt around here.”

Virgil sighed in relief. “I’ll get as much stuff as I can find while you change.”

Roman rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

While Roman was in his room taking off his binder, switching into a sports bra and some pajamas while he was at it, Virgil collected all the pictures and small art projects he could find from Patton around the dorm. Empty frames were more scattered around and art walls were more bare, but it was okay. When Roman came out and saw the pile on the couch, soon to go right into the recycling bin, he remembered what Virgil said. He could put new stuff in their place. Stuff that didn’t hurt to see.

But as he trashed all of the old decorations covered in Patton, Roman saw the ring again. The crystal ring, the thing he held onto so it could remind him of Patton when he needed it. It was worn and rusted, band so thin it could almost break. It was breaking.

With a heavy heart, Roman looked at the trash can right next to the recycling bin, and he threw the ring right into some rotten leftovers. It was unsalvageable now.

“...Now my hand feels bare, I don’t like that.” Roman said, breaking the sudden silence between him and Virgil. Virgil seemed to think for a long moment, but Roman could see his eyes brighten when the lightbulb went off in his head.

“Dude, I gotta show you this thing,” He followed Virgil to the place where his laptop was sitting. “So we’re both ace, right?”

“Indeed we are, yes.”

“So clearly I know shit. Also I see a lot of Tumblr posts.” He opened the laptop and gave it to Roman for a slight moment so he could put in his password. “Basically, there’s this way to show subtle pride and to kinda show to other aces that you’re ace too. A fully black ring on your right middle finger.”

The same place his old ring went. “...You have my attention.”

“You can find them cheap as fuck too, wanna look online?”

“Bitch, yes!” Roman leaned on Virgil’s shoulder as they browsed the internet for fully black rings, some made of stretchy silicone, others just straight-up wedding bands, but after a while of scrolling and five other tabs of nothing but rings to contrast to the others, Roman’s eye caught on a specific one in particular. “No wait, wait!” He excitedly pointed at the screen. “I want a spinny one! Spinner ace ring!”

Virgil smirked. “Of course your ADHD ass wants a spinner ace ring.”

“One more comment and I’ll steal your fidget cube.”

Virgil hissed at him in response.

“Seriously, that one, I want that one, gimme!” Roman took the laptop before Virgil could react to his impatience, closing all the other tabs and entering in his information for a size 9 spinner ring. He smiled brightly once the purchase was confirmed, ready to be delivered in around two days, and Roman was proud of himself. It was a small step, but it meant so much to him.

Virgil went back to his dorm about an hour later, considering he had some work to do, but Roman appreciated his sudden visit regardless. The dorm seemed bare after all that had happened now, no noise and places on the wall where things were bare, but most of all Roman’s mind started to wander. Wander to all the things Virgil told him, wandering to his own lessons he could maybe teach himself, and wandering to thoughts of Patton. Thoughts so bittersweet it was still almost unbearable, but it was time to say goodbye. All of the times they’ve been together, for how long Roman tried so desperately to hold on, Roman needed to say goodbye.

So he did. At 5:18 PM, Roman sent him a message on his Instagram.

Royal_Highness_Roman: I hope you and Logan end up very happy together. I hope you both have a wonderful happy ending

The message was no longer to Patton. It was a message...to a certain someone.

The message was read at 9:32 PM, but would never receive a response. He had successfully said goodbye.

—

A few days later, Roman returned back to his dorm with a slight weight in his chest. He had seen Patton on his ways to class and resisting the urge to run up to him and try speaking again was one harder to fight than he thought. But he managed to continue to class with his head down, his fingers tensing to feel the ring on his right hand.

Once he got to his dorm however, Roman felt himself turning to that ukulele again, the one way he had managed to get all of this out in the open. A few test strums, maybe a little tuning as he thought of a fitting song to play, feeling the strings under the pads of his fingers.

Just like the day he found out about Logan and Patton, he strummed his song. But this time, he would not grieve for him. He would learn. “I don’t need you to respect me, I respect me.”

At least, one day he would. “I don’t need you to love me, I love me.”

He could learn. One day. “But I want you to know you could know me…”

He couldn’t help it. He got a little teary eyed. “If you change your mind...change your mind...change your mind...change your mind.”

The strumming of the last seconds of that song filled the quiet in his bedroom, his eyes seemingly fixated on the black ring on his right hand now. The old crystal ring was gone. It wasn’t coming back, now, he replaced the physical representation of their love with what had ruined it: Pride in his identity.

He would learn. Maybe one day, that ace ring could turn into a flag above his bed. Maybe he’d go to a pride parade having more than his trans stuff. One day, he would be ready for that.

But today, Roman continued with his life, even with the bittersweet taste still in his mouth. The next day, he still walked down the hallways of his college to his morning class. And as he walks by, he’ll walk right past Patton and Logan talking in the hallways.

And if you were a bystander of that pass by, you would think Roman and Patton had never talked to each other in their life.

[zuwritesstuff]

Bees Are Filled With Love

Week two for @fander-pride-meetup!! This one was about representation so of course I’m gonna make Patton non-binary, panromantic, demisexual, a high schooler and Indian I mean how could I not-

Word count: 904, its a short one folks v self indulgent

Warnings: Cursing, an accidental self-misgendering thing, a few mentions of God but just like, in passing, no big discussions this is just Fluff yall.

Enjoy <3 and remember, reblogs>likes

Patton Aziz sat cross-legged on the ground, writing and scribbling out viciously in his- their journal. They, them, theirs, they thought, frowning. I am them.

“They are writing in this journal right here,” the high schooler said aloud, looking down at the journal, filled with different rejected one-liners and puns and doodles of little bees Patton made as their mind wandered... “Trying to figure out a way to tell their friends that they are-”

“Pat!!” Roman Kingsley boomed, dropping down, also cross-legged, next to Patton who was very, very startled. “Where have you been? Logan’s been worried sick…” he said, wiggling his eyebrows as his boyfriend, Virgil O’Mara, and Logan Berry, (aka Patton’s not so requited crush, although they didn’t know that) sat as well. Virgil and Roman grinned as Logan began to splutter, turning red.

“Falsehood.” He said, avoiding Patton’s eyes. “I am perfectly healthy, thank you.” “Anyway,” Virgil said, covering for Logan, “what were you saying, Pat? Something aloud while we were walking here.” Patton’s eyes widened as they shut their notebook discreetly.

“Nothing!! Don’t worry about it!!” They said cheerfully, facing their friends with a wide smile.

“Alright, now I’m kinda worried.” Virgil said, frowning. Roman slipped his arm around him, concerned, as Patton backtracked.

“No, really, it's fine! I just-” Patton stared behind them all as a bee buzzed by. Patton really, really loved bees. Not just ‘cause they were fuzzy and cute (like Patton), but because they were small, (like Patton), and were really important, (like Patton). Roman snapped his fingers to get the enby’s attention.

“Hello, hi, Earth to Pat?”

“I LOVE BEES!” Patton declared, standing up. Startled, the three friends looked up at Patton, who continued on. “And I know why now!”

“Uh, do tell, Patton.” Logan said, confused but supportive.

“I love bees so much because,” Patton sat back down, pausing for dramatic effect, looking at each of their friends in the eyes, “I am nonbeenary. An enbee, if you will.”

The friends all groaned and shook their heads while Patton grinned and spread their arms.

“What? Was the transition not natural? Too fast? A somewhat unbeelivable way to come out?” Logan reached over and covered Patton's mouth with his hand, sighing loudly. Patton smirked, moved away quickly and said, “Aw come on Lo, you know you love my puns; don’t you, honey?” Logan sat back and blushed as Roman and Virgil screeched with laughter.

“Now that was...amazing.” Roman said after they all finally calmed down. “Truly, the most Patton-y way to celebrate your true identity.”

Patton mock-bowed and grinned. They sat back and stayed quiet as their friends continued on with their conversation, thinking about how they had the best friends ever. Now, they thought, it's time to come up with a way to come out as pan…

~

The next day, Patton walked into the school, weaving their way through the crowd of teens and harried teachers, trying to get to their locker. Today, feeling good about themself and their identity, they wore a long baby blue skirt that twirled magnificently, and a cute puffy shirt and cardigan that matched perfectly. The bit of makeup that they had done made Patton feel...seen. Perfectly them.

When they had arrived at their locker, they saw a sticky-note stuck to the front. Patton picked the sticky-note off the locker and read aloud, “Although my puns are only bee-list worthy, I want you to know that you are definitely a keeper.” All this, written in Logan’s handwriting, combined with the little doodle of a bee, flying in a heart formation made Patton’s heart, well, soar. They giggled and stuck the sticky-note inside their locker, for safekeeping. When Patton turned around, however, books in hand and ready to head to class, they were greeted with the sight of Logan, looking sheepish, holding a flower and a bee plushy.

“I, uh, I wanted to give you these…” Logan said, not meeting Patton’s eyes completely, handing them the flower and tiny bee. “I hope you enjoy them…”

“I’m gay.” Patton blurted, panicking, blushing as soon as they realized they had said that aloud. Logan turned completely red, rubbing the back of his neck. One could almost see the steam bursting out of his ears as Patton rushed to explain.

“Well, I mean, technically pan. Panromantic demisexual. Emotional connection and all that and I am so gay for you and wow I’m rambling I-” Patton was stopped as Logan leaned in and kissed their cheek. It was Patton’s turn to blush, hard, although their Indian complexion covered some of it, thank God.

“Would you like to get coffee after school? Just me and you?” Logan asked quietly, still blushing hard. Patton couldn’t even speak. They just nodded and held out their hand subtly, so if Logan wanted to take it, he could. And he did.

“God damn it-” Virgil cursed as the couple walked towards them, hand in hand, blushing and smiling. He handed Roman 5 dollars. Smirking, he pocketed it and turned to Patton, explaining.

“He bet me 5 dollars to see who would confess first.” Roman grinned over at Logan, who smiled back and high fived him. Virgil looked, well, betrayed.

“Logan were you in on this?? I can’t believe this, my best friend, a traitor.” As the four walked down the halls, bickering and laughing, Patton marveled at how lucky they were.

A truly beeautiful family.

Taglist: @detroit-become-pan

If you’d like to be added to the taglist shoot me an ask :D

[purplepatton]

the cat’s out of the bag

description: it’s all fun and games until someone hurts patton

warnings: homophobia/homophobic parents (nothing super detailed but it’s there), a character gets outed, crying, fighting, sympathetic deciet

relationships: platonic LAMP, familial mociet (they’re brothers)

notes: happy pride month everyone!!! this fic is my first fic for the @fander-pride-meetup (hosted by the wonderful @lamp-calm-sanders!!!) the first week is all about relationships and i tried my hand at a more platonic approach for the sides (idk if it worked out but i tried lol),,, the title was suggested by @whymustibedraggedintofandomhell (thank you so much again!!!),,, i hope you like this fic!

                                                         ____

"Did you hear about Patton Foster?"

Virgil looked up from the paper he was scribbling on to glance over at a group of girls who was sitting near him. A free period with no car meant Virgil was stuck at school with the rest of the underclassmen who couldn't convince anyone to drive them anywhere.

Lowering his headphones down around his neck, Virgil did his best to lean forward without looking too much like he was eavesdropping on the conversation. Normally he wouldn't care one way or the other about what others around him talking about, but the name of his friend was just too tempting to ignore.

The girls laughed, a high pitched tittering that made Virgil wince.

“I kind of feel bad for him, you know?“ One of the girls said once the laughter had died out. There was a small frown on her face, as if she was uncomfortable with whatever they were talking about. "Like, can you imagine that?"

"I would never show my face at school ever again." Another girl said, nodding her head with faux seriousness.

Virgil frowned. Something had clearly happened to Patton, but what? He hadn’t gotten any messages from him and hadn’t heard anything until this moment. He leaned closer.

“I still can’t believe he’s gay.” One at the edge of the group said mournfully, flipping their hair over their shoulder. “There goes that crush.”

It’s a simple statement, but it sends ice flooding through Virgil’s veins. Patton had been outed. Someone had outed Patton.

Virgil slammed his notebook shut and stood up, forcefully shoving his chair behind him. The loud sounds make everyone around him jump, shooting looks of varying degrees of annoyance at him. He ignored them, instead shoving his things into his bookbag and storming out of the room.

There were very few people who knew Patton was gay. Virgil was one of the select few, alongside Patton’s twin brother and a few of his friends. There were very few things Patton was secretive about - he hated lying and keeping things from other people, insisted on being as honest as humanly possible - but his sexuality was one of the things Patton had always hidden, afraid of what would happen if anyone else knew. Virgil didn’t blame him; he had heard the things Patton’s parents had said about anyone who wasn’t straight or cis.

Someone had outed Patton, and Virgil was going to kill them.

                                                         ___

Virgil found Patton sitting outside under one of the few trees that populated the campus. Around him sat Roman, Logan and his brother Dante. Roman had his arm wrapped around Patton, gently rocking him back and forth. Logan was sitting next to them, patting Patton’s hand. And Dante was gesturing obscenely at anyone who passed.

“What the hell happened?” Virgil demanded, dropping his bookbag to the ground.

“Hello to you too, Virgil.” Dante drawled, flipping off a freshman who was looking curiously at the group.

Ignoring Dante, Virgil flopped down in front of Patton. Now that he was closer, he could see the tears that were streaking down his cheeks. Patton wiped his cheeks and shakily smiled at Virgil. “Hi.” He said softly.

“What happened?” Virgil asked again.

“Patton was talking to Kevin Williams, and during his conversation Patton revealed his feelings for him.” Logan said. He pushed his glasses up his nose forcefully, a clear sign that he was angry. “However, Kevin did not appreciate Patton’s confession and stormed off. It is only logical that Kevin is the one who informed the school about Patton’s sexuality.”

Patton sniffed. “I don’t know why I told him.” He said, voice shaking. “I just thought - I don’t know - that maybe he’d like me back? It’s stupid, I should have known better.”

“You are not stupid!”  Roman said, pulling Patton into a tight hug and squeezing him. “It’s not your fault Kevin is an asshole. You deserve so much better, Pat.”

Patton let out a wet laugh and wrapped his arms around Roman, burying his face into Roman’s  shoulder. “Thanks,” he said, voice muffled.

Virgil sat back on his heels. “I’m going to kill him.”

“Huh?” Patton pulled his face back from Roman’s shoulder and glanced over at Virgil.

“I’m going to find Kevin and kick his ass.” Virgil said matter-of-factly. He pushed himself up to his feet and brushed his jeans off.

“Oh, this I want to see.” Dante scrambled to his feet with a grin.

“Oh, Virgil, please don’t. I don’t want to get you in trouble!” Patton said, rubbing his hand across his cheek to try and get rid of the tears that were dried onto his face. “It isn’t worth it.”

“No one messes with my friends.” Virgil said, before turning on his heel and walking back towards the school. Behind him he heard Dante yelling something about taking a video and then the boy was right next to him, having no problem keeping up with Virgil’s place.

“So, how do you plan to take down the evil Kevin?” Dante asked, hands tucked into his pockets as the pair walked through the hallways.

“If you’re just going to be sarcastic than you can just leave right now.” Virgil snapped, trying to ignore Dante in favor of scanning the hallways for any sign of Kevin and his friends. Dante shrugged and closed his mouth.

They finally stumbled across Kevin in the small entryway in front of the gym, sitting and laughing with his friends. Virgil scowled and his hands tightened into fists. How dare Kevin look so happy after what he had done to Patton, how dare he look so carefree when Patton was so heartbroken. How dare he.

Virgil stormed over to the group, Dante following behind at a more leisurely pace. At first the group at the end of the hall doesn’t notice them, but then Kevin looked up and saw them coming. “What are you doing here?” He asked in a tone that would normally make Virgil want to sink into the ground and disappear.

But not today. Today Virgil walked right up to Kevin and punched in the nose.

Kevin recoiled backwards and fell down onto the floor. “What the hell, man?” He shouted, grabbing his nose. Behind him his friends all jumped up. One helped Kevin back to his feet while the others readied themselves for a fight.

“That’s for what you did to Patton.”

Kevin glowered at Virgil, hand still cupped around his nose. “Are you kidding me? That’s why you attacked me?”

“You outed Patton!” Virgil jabbed a finger in Kevin’s face. “You really hurt him and you’re acting like it’s not a big deal!”

“Uh, that’s because it’s not?” Kevin said with a roll of his eyes. “He’s the one who hit on me first, so really if you think about it I did nothing wrong -”

There was a blur of movement behind Virgil and then Kevin was slammed into the wall by Dante, who was holding Kevin up against the wall by the collar of his shirt. Kevin let out a choked cry of surprise, grabbing at Dante’s hands and kicking his legs against the wall.

“If you ever hurt my brother again,” Dante said with a wide smile, “I will personally ensure that no one will ever find your body.”

Everyone around Dante froze, gaping at him. Dante just patted Kevin’s cheek and then dropped him unceremoniously to the floor. Kevin crashed to the floor and just lay there, staring up at Dante in shock. Dante just winked at him before turning around to face Virgil.

“Well, that was fun, but I have a debate meeting that I’m late to.” Dante gave Virgil a lazy salute before walking away down the hallway.

Virgil glanced back at Kevin, who was pushing himself up to his feet again, cursing angrily at Virgil and Dante as his friends stood around looking unsure what to do.

Virgil smirked; seeing Kevin flail around was so unlike the image Kevin strived to maintain. And he turned away and began to walk back outside. He had a friend to help.

                                                            ___

tag list (if u want on/off let me know!!): @basilstorm@artistfromthestars@storytellerofuntoldlegends@romananalogicality@verymuchanidiot @istolelittleredshoodie @dont-cry-croft @speechless-angel@thefamouszombiebouquet @wolfwalker100 @datonerougecookeh@virgilient @virgil-is-verge@impatentpending@zaisling@trixie85592 @sillysandersides @hamster-corn @adventurousplatypus @unring-this-bell@mymiddlenameisunderscore @evilmuffin 

[whymustibedraggedintofandomhell]

Bad Days

Roman has a bad day. Virgil comes and makes their day better.

Triggers: homophobia and misgendering, also food mention. other than that i don’t think that there any other triggers.

for @fander-pride-meetup just, non binary roman and virgil being best friends that counts as relationships

Roman was having a bad day. First, at school people kept misgendering them, then when they went to the mall someone said a homophobic comment to them, then when they bought a skirt the cashier had said something about how disgraceful it was for a man to buy a skirt. All they wanted to do was sink into the depths of their bed forever.

Though, they forgot they had a Virgil in their life.

Virgil, their best friend, had somehow sensed that Roman was having a bad day and drove over to their house. They brought a bag full of snacks and their nail polish collection. They stormed into Roman’s room without knocking and jumped into their bed.

Roman looked up from where they was lying down when they heard the fizz of the pineapple soda. Virgil didn’t look over at them when they took a sip from the bottle, they just moved the bag over to Roman. Roman just smiled, “Have I ever told you I love you?” Virgil just snorted, “Shut up and pick what color you want your nails to be.”

And that's what Roman did. They ranted to Virgil everything that happened as they allowed Virgil to paint their nails a deep red color. Virgil just hummed and nodded, occasionally putting in their two cents on an issue. By the time Virgil finished painting their nails, Roman felt better.

“Thank you Virgil, you’re the best.” they said as they waited for their nails to dry. Virgil smiled “I’m not the best, I’m just a great friend.” Roman went to protest but was shut up when Virgil but an oreo in their mouth. Roman just glared as they chewed the cookie.

Yep, Roman had the greatest friend ever.

[griffins-fanfic]

Logan's Summer-Pride Meetup Week 2

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairing: Platonic LAMP

Summary: Logan prepares to come out as trans publicly. With his friends by his side, he knows he can handle it.

Triggers: misgendering, dysphoria.

Word count: 712 words

(this was based more than loosely on my own experiences so it was surprisingly easy to write. Also I came out to someone in the middle of writing so I could write it into the story so please validate me)

Logan leaned his head against the window as Dodie played in his ear buds. He was headed back from a trip to the city with his mom and grandmother and an ugly thing from his brain had reared its head a couple hours before.

"Did you have fun, Lacey?" His mother asked. And there it was again. The sneering face of dysphoria flashed in his mind.

"Yeah." He said. Thankfully, his mom was used to Logan's introverted nature, and didn't read anything into his short answer besides exhaustion. She put a podcast on and chatted quietly with his grandmother, leaving Logan to let his mind wander in the back seat.

That was a bad choice. Ever since summer break started, he refused to let his thoughts go free for too long. Every time he did, his mind would go to the same place. He was coming out at school when sophomore year started, and he was anxious as hell about it.

So, he pulled out his phone, resorting to the one thing he knew would always distract him. His best friend.

Microsoft Nerd: It is back. I need you to help me make one decision about school, and then I need a distraction.

Perfect Prince: I'm free. Call?

Microsoft Nerd: I am in the car.

Perfect Prince: Ah. Gimme the question.

Microsoft Nerd: Should I email teachers or tell them on the first day?

Microsoft Nerd: Should I tell the principal?

Microsoft Nerd: Do you think the administration could get my name changed on the roster?

Perfect Prince: Slow down there, L. You said one decision.

Microsoft Nerd: I apologize. I have been alone with my thoughts too long.

Perfect Prince: let's start with your second question.

Perfect Prince: Mr. Sanders adores you.

Perfect Prince: He'd honestly be offended if you didn't tell him personally.

Perfect Prince: If you can deal with face-to-face, here's my advice.

Perfect Prince: Go to the first day of school. You're an awesome judge of character. Figure out who you can tell that day. The rest, email.

Perfect Prince: Third...

Perfect Prince: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Perfect Prince: ask Mr. Sanders after you tell him.

Microsoft Nerd: Thank you. Shockingly, you had a smart idea.

Perfect Prince: STFU

Perfect Prince: anyway!

Microsoft Nerd: proceed

Perfect Prince: I listened to Beetlejuice last night and it was actually like

Perfect Prince: Lit

Perfect Prince: I mean I'm a Hadestown stan first and a human second

Perfect Prince: But!

Logan leaned forward, resting his head against the back of the driver's seat, grin on his face. He wasn't an emotional person at all, but Roman's distractions always made him smile.

He turned his Spotify to the Beetlejuice soundtrack at Roman's request and watched Roman's rant turn to Hadestown again. It always turned to Hadestown nowadays. He glanced up at the sky and saw the full moon shining down on him. Everything would be ok.

~~~

Logan stepped out of the shower and immediately tripped over his clothes. It was his own fault for showering with the lights off, but it was the only way he could convince himself to even take a shower.

As he sat against the tub, rubbing his now sore nose, his phone screen lit up from the counter. He groaned and got up. As he limped to the counter, he realized how hard the fall actually was. He groaned again when he read the text.

Stormcloud: Hey Lacey. Is there any chance I can borrow your copy of Lord of the Flies? I didn't realize how close the test was.

Virgil was a casual friend. The two had bonded after being seated next to each other in freshman advanced English. Then they had bonded even more during their debates while the class was reading Romeo and Juliet.

Logan had never come out to him. He could. He definitely could. Virgil's older brother was trans. It was just never something that crossed his mind during their conversations. He started typing.

Microsoft Nerd: Yes. We can arrange a time for you to get the book. As I have adequately prepared for the test, you can take the book at any time.

Microsoft Nerd: Also, it's Logan now.

Stormcloud: huh?

Microsoft Nerd: My name. It's Logan now.

Stormcloud: oh

Stormcloud: pronouns?

Microsoft Nerd: He/Him

Stormcloud: coolio

Stormcloud: I can swing by your house tomorrow around 1. That chill?

Microsoft Nerd: affirmative.

Logan hugged his phone to his chest. Virgil had accepted the new information with ease. He felt the pressure on his chest lighten, dysphoria slinking back to its tiny corner of his brain.

Amusing. He had discovered a new way to battle it. He switched over to his group chat.

Microsoft Nerd: I came out to Virgil

He finally got dressed while he was waiting for a response, putting on his baggiest hoodie, which Patton had affectionately named "the blob hoodie," and his favorite pair of pajama pants. He finally turned on his light and was able to look in the mirror while he washed his face.

His phone blew up with texts. Emoji spams from Patton and a couple happy texts from Roman. Logan proceeded to stay up way too late, texting his friends, a little firework of happiness exploding in his heart every time he got called by his name. Roman had known for three years at this point, and Patton for nearly two, but Logan's euphoria at being referred to by his chosen name felt the same as it first had.

~~~

Logan sat cross-legged on Roman's bed, laptop in front of him. He had spent a month stressing over this, and had finally decided to just email all his teachers before school started.

He looked around the room. Roman was pacing around his room, flapping his hands as intensely as he would do right before a show. Virgil leaned against the bed in front of Logan, alternating between scrolling through Tumblr and taking sneaky photos of Roman. Patton sat next to Logan, holding one of his hands.

He took a deep breath. "Okay. I have been drafting this email for two weeks. All three of you have proofread it multiple times. School starts in two days. It's time."

He glanced over at Patton, who gave him a soft smile and a reassuring hand squeeze. He took another breath and reached his free hand onto the mousepad. 

Click.

Logan's head was a tangle of emotions. Euphoria, anxiety, a touch of bitterness. What Logan felt the most, though, was his best friend initiating a cuddle pile on top of him, and a surprising warmness at all of his friends. That was when he knew, that no matter what happened, no matter how any of the teachers reacted, no matter how any of the students reacted, he knew that his three closest friends had his back, and that was the only thing that mattered.

[aj-draws]

~Week 2: Representation~

This is a redraw of Genderbend Roman that I made for the pride meetup last year using the colors of the bi flag. The third picture is what I drew in 2018.

I chose to make this for this week’s theme because, not only has my art improved, my ability to understand my sexuality and others in the LGBTQ+ community has improved as well. I have put more work into learning the stories of others, and by doing so I’ve become even more comfortable with being bi.

This meetup is an amazing idea and I commend @fander-pride-meetup for doing such a wonderful job. Thank you for all you do for the TS community!! Can’t wait to participate again next year 😊

[fander-pride-meetup]

Trans Logan fic!

Ships: Platonic Logicality; Platonic Analogical; Slight Romantic Logince

Warnings: Deceit mention; Platonic Logan & Deceit; Someone has high amounts of anxiety; Very minor cursing.

Summary: Logan has something that he needs to tell the other sides.

"Patton. May we talk? I think that I have something that I need to say." Logan's voice was steady and quiet. The door to Patton's room was open a crack.

"Of course Logic! What's on your mind," Patton said brightly. He made a spot for Logan on his bed and patted the seat to show while beckoning Logan to come in. Logan sat down and was quiet for a few minutes. He chose to do this individually. If he did it in a group, he risked not being heard and this was something that he had to say. He could go on keeping it a secret, but Deceit said that he could tell that Logan felt guilty and upset even if he claimed to be.

"It's-i-it's about my name. I think-no. I know that I would prefer Logan. Logic is still good but as for my non-titular name, I want it to be Logan," Logan stuttered. He looked down. He knew that Patton was supportive but it was terrifying to be open with someone, to tell someone something that you had been hiding for years, to stop lying to yourself and others.

"Of course! Whatever makes you happy. I want the best for you kiddo. Logan's a great name." Patton's smile was bright. He offered Logan a hug and Logan took him up on it. "Do you want me to use he/him too?"

"Y-yes please, um, Patton," Logan stumbled. "Patton, may I ask you something?"

"Anything you want, Logan!"

"You called me Logic before. May I ask why?"

Patton paused for a second, looked directly at Logan and put a hand on his shoulder.

"I could tell that you're old name was making you uncomfortable. You seemed to look a bit down or Low-gan when any of us said it. The last thing that I want is for any of my kiddos to feel uncomfortable. I thought that Logic might make you feel better," said Patton.

"Oh, well, thank you You don't know how much I appreciate this. I suppose that I have to tell the rest of them," Logan sighed.

"Only when you're ready. I'm rooting for you, kiddo." Patton smiled so brightly that it outshined the sun. For the first time a while, Logan smiled back.

--------

A knock came from the other side of Virgil's door. Luckily Virgil had only one headphone on and could hear the knock.

"Yeah. Who's there," he shouted.

Logan froze. He wasn't sure what to say. This would certainly be a way to tell him, but this was where anxiety was and this was where anxiety would be heard.

"It's Logic," he said quickly. "May I come in?"

"Yeah totally. Shut the door, though."

Logan came in and immediately felt himself growing more anxious. Usually he had a few minutes before the anxiety set in, but in a situation like this it was instant.

Virgil sat up from his usual position of lying on his bed. Logan was standing, shifting his weight from foot to foot and looming everywhere but at Virgil. His heart felt as if it was going ninety miles per hour. His eyes had heavy black makeup under them. His breathing became shorter and faster. Luckily, Virgil noticed this.

"Oh shit. Maybe we should go to your room. Four seconds in. Just like you always say," Virgil said cooly. They sank out and rose again in Logan's room. A small weight felt lifted from his shoulders.

"Right. Thank you, Virgil. I suppose that if I don't say it, I never will. I want to be called Logan and I want to be referred to with he/him pronouns," he burst out.

Virgil just looked at him for second, probably because he was startled by the sudden bursting of emotion from the usually stoic logical side.

"Totally. Of course. Whatever you want, Logan," Virgil replied smoothly.

"Logic is fine but I do not want to be called my previous name."

"Got it. I'm proud of you. It's not easy telling someone something like that. I'm proud of you, L." Virgil gave a small smile. "So am I the last one to know?"

"No, that would be Roman. Thomas too, I suppose, but it's not necessary for me to tell him. As long as he knows that I'm male is enough."

"Wait you told Deceit before you told me?"

"Deceit deals with lies and secrets. He was bound to know first. He was the one to push me to tell all of you."

"What? Sure. Fine, I guess," said Virgil. "So, Roman. I think that he's in his room now if you want to talk to him now."

"I don't know if I can tell Roman. What if he thinks of me differently? What if he hates me? What if doesn't respect me anymore? What if-"

"Those sound like, what was it you said? Oh yeah, 'cognitive distortions.' Trust me, he won't think any of those things. Roman cares about you, Logan. Underneath all of that dramatic prince stuff, he's a pretty understanding and caring guy. I can go with you, if you want. You don't even have to do it now." Virgil put his hand on Logan's shoulder.

"No, no it's okay. I should be doing this by myself. He. He makes me feel...things," Logan murmered.

"Yeah, like aggravation," Virgil laughed. Then he looked at Logan and saw that he was not laughing and then he realized. "Oh...You mean...ah."

"Yes, and I'm worried about telling him. Maybe I shouldn't even bother. I can deal with being called the wrong name. It's fine," Logan rambled.

"It's not fine and I'm telling you that he'll understand a lot more than you think he will."

"Thank you, Virgil. You're support means an inordinate amount to me. Maybe I can figure this out in a few days."

"Totally. However long you need, Logan."

With that Logan left. He had someone to talk to. Roman's room was in between Virgil's and his. It wasn't far but it felt like forever as he walked over there. The outside of Roman's room would seem odd to a newcomer. It was a bright gold with red decals in the shape of something that seemed flowery. On it's left was Virgil's black door with stickers covering it from head to toe and even a couple of bouts of police tape to give it a special angsty feel. Next to Virgil's room was Patton's. Patton's door wouldn't seem out of place in a 1950s suburban home. One would almost expect to see a white picket fence and a fresh green lawn around it, but alas, there wasn't. Logan's room was adjacent to Roman's but on the other side. It was white, and interestingly enough was in the darkest part of this spot of the mindscape. It had one sticker that Virgil managed to convince Logan to put up; it was an erlenmeyer flask with smoke or another gas or something coming out of it. Logan looked at his door and stared at it. Luckily for Logan, it didn't need him to open up. Roman's head popped through with a large smile on his face.

"Can I ask you to keep it down a bit, teach? You're breathing a bit heavily and I've got a great idea for Thomas that needs some working," Roman grinned.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I suppose that I'll go," Logan said quickly.

"Are you alright? It can wait if you need something."

"You're busy and I don't want to disrupt you or be a bother or make you forget your idea. That wouldn't benefit Thomas at all and I should just be-." Roman cut him off.

"I think you should calm down and think this through. Come on, Lauren. You're Logic. Thinking is what you do best."

"You're right. I am Logic and I can do this. I suppose that it doesn't really matter where I do this, everyone else already knows."

"Knows what exactly?" Roman raised his eyebrow.

"Something that is very important to me. Something that Virgil said that you would understand. Something that has been difficult for me to come to terms with. Roman, I am Logan. I am Logic. I am male," Logan spit out. He began hyperventilating. His heart rate skyrocketed and his face grew red.

"First off, calm down. Deep breaths. It's okay," Roman said. Logan's breathing began to slow down. His shoulders began to rise and fall less rapidly. "And I just called you Lauren. I'm so sorry."

"It's not your fault. You didn't know. I kept it a secret."

"Well, Virgil was right. I do understand," he chuckled.

"What do you mean," Logan asked slowly.

"Well, I wasn't always the glorious Prince Roman that you see here. Some time ago I was Juliet."

Logan stared at him. He was in disbelief, relief, and something else he couldn't identify.

"Forgive me for staring. I-I didn't know," Logan stammered.

"I mean, how would you? I only told Virgil and Patton. Deceit sort of already knew because that's just who he is. I've never told Thomas, though." Roman could be hot-headed and dramatic. He could be loud and energetic, but there was a certain quiet and calmness that he could bring out sometimes.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Probably for the same reasons that you didn't tell me. We all work together, but we need each other to basically make sure Thomas stays alive. If we weren't on the same page or something, then that wouldn't work. I didn't want you to think differently of me."

"I kept thinking that there was something wrong with me for so long."

"We're trans, Logan. It's okay. There's nothing wrong with us," Roman smiled.

It took Roman handing him a tissue for Logan to realize that he was crying. This was odd. Even after the troubling day that he had, he didn't expect himself to cry and yet here he was. Things were different know, but they were better now. Logan knew that his family supported him.

-

Lissa’s Note: This was wonderful! I enjoy your style and how you write the relationship between the characters! I’m glad Logan’s Family supported him and I’m glad he gets to be himself. I particularly liked how you focused on individual relationships and a little on Lo’s relationship on himself when it comes to elf acceptance!

[purplepatton]

happily ever after

description: patton plans a trip to disney for roman’s birthday. but patton has one more surprise in store for him. 

relationship: romantic royality

notes: this was supposed to be for roman’s birthday yesterday but i hit a wall and ended up finishing it late lol,,, but it’s also for week one of @fander-pride-meetup !!!! i actually have another fic with royality at disney world but this one is less angsty lol, so i hope you like it!!

                                                         ~~

Lacing his fingers in between Patton’s Roman bounced up and down excitedly on the balls of his feet as they waited on line to get into the park.

As a surprise gift for his birthday, Patton booked a week long trip to Disney World. There were few things Roman loved more than Disney (one of things of course being Patton) and when he found out Roman burst into tears for a good ten minutes.

And now they were actually there, right outside the Magic Kingdom. Upbeat, cheerful music surrounded them, tunes that Roman knew by heart. Next to him, Patton was humming underneath his breath and swaying in time to the beat. He looked just as excited to be there as Roman, a giant smile stretched across his face.  

Roman swung their connected hands back and forth, smiling as Patton glanced up at him. “What do you want to do first?” He asked. “Space Mountain or Small World?”

Patton considered the question for a moment before saying, “Small World!” R

Roman beamed. “I was thinking the same thing.”

The line began to move forward, and then they were standing in the front, handing their bags over to be checked. They were quickly waved through, and then they were in the actual park.

People were walking all around them, some even bumping directly into Roman as they rushed into the park, but Roman hardly noticed. Instead, his attention was taken by the front of Main Street that was sprawled in front of him. The stores, each painted a bright color, boasted all sorts of clothes and toys in their window fronts. The music was louder here, floating up and over the heads of the crowds.

Next to him, Patton let out a gasp. “Oh my gosh, Roman, look!”

Roman opened his eyes and followed Patton’s outstretched arm. He was pointing up at Cinderella’s castle that loomed up ahead, bouncing up and down excitedly. Patton had never actually been to Disney, and the castle was the thing he was most excited to see; he spent hours talking about it whenever he could, eyes lighting up whenever it was mentioned.

“It’s pretty amazing, isn’t it?” Roman said. He still remembered the first time he saw the castle. He was younger then, and had never seen anything like it. It was like he had walked into his very own fairy tale right then and there.

“Let’s go get a picture!” Patton said, tugging on Roman’s hand and pulling him down Main Street. Roman laughed and let Patton drag him along.

They worked their way down Main Street, avoiding strollers and groups of people of people standing stationary outside the different stores. They finally stopped by a photographer who stood rather close to the base of the castle. There was no one waiting for their picture, so Patton and Roman made a bee-line over to him.

The photographer, who was chatting with another cast member, when they approached, straightened up when he saw them. “Hey guys!” He said with a smile. “How are you doing?”

“We’re good, how about you?” Patton asked.

“I’m good! You guys can leave your bags over here by me if you want, and then you can stand over there so I can take your picture.” The photographer said, pointing to a spot in front of the castle.

“Here, Ro, let me take your bag.” Patton said, reaching for the bag that was slung over Roman’s shoulder.

“Oh, okay.” Roman said, pulling off the bag and handing it to Patton, pressing a quick kiss to Patton’s cheek before heading over to where the photographer had told them to go.

He was standing in the shadow of the castle, it’s spires reaching up towards the sky. No matter how many times he saw the castle, it still managed to take his breath away.

He looked over his shoulder for Patton, ready to gush about the castle to him, but Patton wasn’t there. For a moment Roman panicked, thinking that he somehow managed to lose Patton, but then he saw Patton standing next to the photographer, talking animatedly about something. The photographer looked pretty excited about whatever it was. Finally Patton came over with a bounce in his step, grinning at Roman.

“Is everything okay?” Roman asked as Patton stood next to him.

“Yep!” Patton said. “I was just asking him about his favorite rides here!”

“Alright, guys!” The photographer said, picking up his camera and pointing it at them. “First thing I want you to do is cup your hands together, look down at your hands and pretend to look surprised!”

“What’s the point of this?” Patton whispered.

“They edit Tinkerbell into our hands after they take they picture.” Roman whispered back.

Patton let out a small squeal. “That’s so cool!”

They did a few more poses after that; Roman’s favorite was definitely when he lifted Patton into his arms, sweeping his boyfriend off his feet.

Finally the photographer paused and said, “For the last one you guys can do whatever you want.”

Roman turned to Patton, ready to ask him what he wanted to do, but Patton was distracted, looking for something in his pocket. “Patton, what are you looking for?” He started to ask, but the words died on his lips when Patton pulled a small black box out his pocket and knelt down on the ground.

“Roman,” Patton said, staring up at Roman. Roman blinked hard, vision suddenly blurred by tears. “We’ve known each other for four years, and every day I just fall in love with you even more. You light up my life, you’re my perfect match. You’re passionate, you’re sweet, you always laugh at my puns and I can’t imagine life without you. So, will you marry me?”

For a moment Roman couldn’t speak, too shocked and caught up in the moment to actually form any words. He just nodded his head quickly, hands clamped over his mouth and tears running down his face.

“Oh my gosh, Ro, are you okay?” Patton scrambled up to his feet. “I’m sorry, did I say something -”

“Patton, don’t you dare apologize.” Roman said. He let out a watery laugh and grabbed Patton, dragging him into a hug. “Of course I want to marry you!”

Patton rested his head on Roman’s shoulder and smiled. “Good, I was worried there for a second.”

“Pat, I could never say no to you.”

The couple stood like that for a few more minutes, Roman’s arms wrapped around Patton as they swayed back and forth slightly under the shadow of the castle, ready to start the next chapter of their lives.

                                                               ~~

@notveryglittery some royality for you!! :DD

tag list: @basilstorm@artistfromthestars@storytellerofuntoldlegends@romananalogicality@verymuchanidiot @istolelittleredshoodie @dont-cry-croft @speechless-angel@thefamouszombiebouquet @wolfwalker100 @datonerougecookeh@virgilient @virgil-is-verge@impatentpending@zaisling@trixie85592 @sillysandersides @hamster-corn @adventurousplatypus @unring-this-bell@mymiddlenameisunderscore @evilmuffin 

[zuwritesstuff]

Chocolate Hat Kind Is The Best Kind

Oooh Z is posting for once? Crazy-

This is for the Fander Pride Meetup, aka @fander-pride-meetup but I hope everyone enjoys!!

Pairings- QPP Moxiety, Boyfriends Royality

Warnings- None this is just Pure Fluff

Wordcount- 1111 (you read that right holy shit)

“Ah sh- sugar balls.” Patton frowned down at the ruined cookies. Batch number- what was it? Two? Contrary to popular belief, Patton was not, in fact, a good baker. Good cook, yes, but baker? No. He waved the smoke away and looked back at the living room, where Virgil, his QPP, and Roman, his boyfriend, sat with worried expressions.

“You doing okay there, Pat?” Virgil asked. He was sitting sideways, legs draped across the armrest of the couch, sitting up and scrunching his nose at the smell. His purple hair was slightly askew, pushed over from laying down. Roman sat on the floor, legs crossed, facing the T.V but frowning at the smoke.

“Just fine, gumdrop, you both stay there!” He beamed at them both, blowing kisses, and ducked back into the kitchen. He sighed and snapped the mess away, and brought up more ingredients for peanut butter cookies, suggested by Logan. Logan himself was somewhere in the mind palace, drawing up another filming schedule. Patton made a mental note to bring him cookies for staying in his room for the day- Patton had asked him to since he wanted to something at least vaguely cute for his partners. They seemed to do so much for him, he had told his friend, but he didn’t seem to do much for them. Logan had frowned at that, skeptical, but nodded and they had continued their day.

Now, Patton went back to mixing together things and humming, thinking back on his day. His QPP and boyf had been treated to a pancake breakfast, cuddling, and movies, learning chess from Virgil, (who was unexpectedly good at strategy games), and now, as they sat in the room over, playing video games and discussing Disney, Patton had tried, (emphasis on tried) to bake them cookies. It wasn’t going too well, but it could be going worse. Third time's the charm, he reasoned.

“Hey, bugaboo.” Patton spun around, surprised, and was greeted by a kiss from Roman. He smiled, kissed back, then pushed him away.

“You’re supposed to be in the living room!” He said, hands on his hips, trying to cover the cookie batter behind him.

“Yes, but darling, Virgil was worried about the smoke. Again.” Roman grinned and was promptly elbowed by Virgil.

“Hey, you were worried too.” Roman shrugged as Virgil rolled his eyes and continued. “Anyway, we’re here to help you with whatever you’re doing. Cookies?”

“Mhm.” Patton frowned. “It was supposed to be a surprise, I guess.”

“Oh, darling, that’s alright.” Roman gestured grandly at Virgil, getting down on one knee and spreading his arms widely. “We’ve got a baking genius right here!!” Virgil pushed him over and walked over to Patton, taking his hand quietly and squeezing it as he read over the recipe. Patton blushed lightly and squeezed back as Roman got up, grumbling, and rested his head on Patton's, wrapping his arms around his waist.

“Peanut butter cookies, huh?” Virgil looked at the batter, and back at the oven, then back at the batter. “Princey, get the flour stuff, over there.”

Roman nodded, saying, “We’re making the kind with the Hershey Kisses in it right? The chocolate hat kind-” he muttered as he grabbed the flour mixture, and promptly made to pour the whole thing in.

“ROMAN NO-”

“RO DON’T-” Roman stopped at Virgil and Patton’s shrieks. Patton grabbed the mixture and poured it in slowly as Virgil blended it.

“You can’t pour it all in at once,” Patton explained, “else it’ll get everywhere.”

“Hey, there you go!” Virgil said, smiling at Patton. “Upcoming baking genius right here.” Roman got on his knees and gestured again, making Patton giggle.

“Uh, well, I learned that ‘cause in my first batch it just…” Patton imitated an explosion, presumably made of dry ingredients, which caused Roman to laugh and stand up, hugging Patton gently.

“Ah, cuddlebug, I knew you weren’t naturally cautious like Mr. Baker Sanders over here.” Roman earned a glare from the QPR, which made him pout and say, “Oh, come on, that wasn’t even mean.”

Patton laughed a little as they stood in a line and made quick work of the batter, pressing it into little balls and putting it on the cookie tray, which Patton popped into the oven. He closed it and gave his partners big hugs, smiling widely.

“Thank you both- I wouldn’t have been able to do it without you guys.” He said as Roman and Virgil took his hands and guided him to the couch to wait.

“I think you could have.” Virgil said as he laid his head on Patton’s lap, for Patton to play with his hair, putting his legs up over the armrest again. Patton leaned into Roman, who put his arm around him, as Virgil continued. “No, I know you could have. But I’m glad you did it with us.” He shrugged and smiled up at Patton. “It was fun.”

“Because of my excellent baking skills, obviously.” Roman said, grinning at them both.

“In your dreams, Roman.”

“I am dreams, Virgil.”

They sat for a bit, playing video games and bickering good-naturedly until the cookies were done. This time they set a timer so none of them could forget it was in there, (the second explanation, provided by Pat, mostly had this concern at the center. ADHD, y’all).

(If they had asked why he forgot, Patton would have blushed and stammered out that he may have been daydreaming about them both and how perfect the day had been, and how much he truly loved them both. But they didn’t.)

The group got up and walked over. Roman snapped up a bag of already unwrapped Hershey Kisses as Virgil opened the oven and brought out the cookies. He laid them out as the right-brained couple behind him snuck a few chocolates.

“Alright, bring ‘em over you lovebirds.” He said, turning around to the disgustingly affectionate sight of the two giggling and giving each other Hershey Kisses and actual kisses. Patton brought the bag and his boyfriend over, and they all began pressing the chocolate into the still warm cookies. The trio worked in comfortable silence, each to their own thoughts, and when they finally put the final product in the fridge, they were all just about at the same conclusion.

“We are a damn good team.” Roman said, taking Patton’s hand. Patton nodded as he brought Virgil over and kissed his forehead, grinning at Virgil’s blush.

“We are, aren’t we?” Patton said, sighing contentedly. “God, I love you both.”

“Love you too, sweetie.”

“And I love you, bugaboo.”

(And they lived happily ever after. With peanut butter cookies. Unburnt.)

Taglist- @detroit-become-pan

[fander-pride-meetup]

Question

It has been brought to my attention that a Discord server may be useful as another way to Meetup with people. Would anyone be interested if I were to make one?

-Mod Lissa

[fander-pride-meetup]

Some Reminders For Week Two

Hey everyone! Week One was great! Everyone’s contributions were so nice and I loved seeing it! I’m excited to see what else is in store!

Anygay, I have some notes for Week 2!

First and foremost, if I haven’t reblogged your post from week one , please let me know asap!!! I have a couple more left but contact me with your piece of work and I’ll be sure to reblog as promptly as I can!

The hashtag for this is #fanderpridemeetup2019 I have seen various typos (understandably) but that is the official tag and the one I am most likely to check!

Week’s Two prompt is representation! It’s really important to note that this week is about representing your identity and experiences. You can mention or include other ids, but this week is about you! (Of your questioning, that’s okay! You can represent the sides questioning their identity!) Next week is about other identities and experiences!

Be sure to interact with each other and ask questions as well as read and look at all the wonderful things made!

There’s no need to participate in each week, so if you didn’t do last week, you can totally participate this week and vice versa. Same goes for Weeks 3 and 4

The discord is still open which I will link it here: https://discordapp.com/invite/5q7MwXt

That is all for now, and I’m excited to see what you all post this week!

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The Discord Server is now up and running! This is an additional way to meet up with others! The server link is:

https://discord.gg/5q7MwXt

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Just a reminder Today is the last day for week one! Be sure to post today!!

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Hey Everyone!

Tommorow is the last day of the meetup! I will finish reblogging all the posts I have left and we’ll call it an end!

Of course I’m still going to be accepting posts all of tomorrow though! This weeks theme is pride. You can talk about your personal experiences, and it is not required to be Sanders Sides Related!

I’ve had a blast and I love all the posts I saw as well as all the friends I’ve made! You all are awesome!

Gonna miss this? Well I’ll put a link to the discord server below this post. There you can talk to other LGBT Fanders in a safe environment year around! It’s great I assure you!

Slight side note, but if I haven’t reblogged your post by 6pm Eastern your time, message me on here or Discord and I’ll correct that!

Anyway, thank you all for a great pride month and I hope to see you all next year!

-Your Lovely Mod, Lissa!

Discord Server:

https://discord.gg/5q7MwXt