#feat. sarah

[walkman-cat]

newsies star trek au. you agree

(WOE. BEARD RACE BE UPON YE)

[samwpmarleau]

fic: clippers

aka 1,500 words of me continuing to not accept bucky’s tfatws hair

Dr. Raynor had recommended it, though Bucky suspects she wasn’t the only person involved. These days, there’s a whole pack of people with say-so over his life, getting their jollies by hanging freedom over his head. She said it might help with people’s perception of him if he looked less like he did as an assassin. If he looked more like the young war hero who fought Nazis.

(Saving the universe counts for nothing, does it? he’d wanted to say but didn’t.)

It had irked him, the suggestion. Perhaps because it wasn’t really a suggestion. Raynor had thought he was resisting just to be contrary. He hadn’t had an issue with dressing like a twenty-first century civilian, after all, nor concealing his metal arm beneath jackets and gloves, so what’s the problem, James?

(That’s different, he’d wanted to say but didn’t. That’s so I don’t frighten anyone. So I don’t get stared at and invite questions people don’t want the answers to.)

All right, maybe part of him was just being contrary, because he’s already at his wits’ fucking end with how many conditions and surrendering of liberties this goddamn pardon has. But as he stands at the mirror, sharpened scissors in hand, it is not contrariness that makes him hesitate.

Nor is it the unfamiliarity of cutting his own hair, for he’s done that many times before, both before the war and since. He’s even got a picture to reference of some duck-lipped model showing off what Bucky can only describe as Generic Modern Man Haircut. He’d be Just Some Guy walking down the street with it, which is exactly what the government wants.

So, he does it both because he must and because any reason he can think of to not do it sounds pathetic, and although it’s not the fresh sort of cut he’d get from a proper barber, it’s serviceable. A few strategic passes of gel to disguise any unevenness and he’d be good to go.

(He’d tried that once, in Romania, having a professional touch up the ends, had even managed to tamp down his discomfort through the shampooing and smalltalk. The minute the man brandished the scissors and approached Bucky’s head with them, however, it was all he could do to not take those scissors and stab the man in the carotid out of pure reflex. He’d made it to the alleyway outside before expelling the street mici he’d had only an hour earlier, overcome by how easy the murder would have been. How natural. How he could have eliminated the entire shop of innocents before anyone knew what hit them. Erase the security tape, if there was one, and slip back into the ghost he was for seventy years. He’d returned in the dead of night to leave an envelope with a note of apology and a wad of lei and, needless to say, from then on the only blades that touched his hair were his own.)

He doesn’t recognize the man staring back at him in the mirror, once all is said and done. Which is a bit ludicrous; it’s a haircut, not plastic surgery, and for most of his conscious life he’d had short hair. This shouldn’t be any different. Yet, still he stands there in the bathroom with scissors in his hand and a sink full of brunette strands, for far longer than is reasonable.

He sucks it up, eventually, adjusts to the new length — or lack thereof. In fairness, some of it is easier. Showers are shorter, his hair tie budget is nonexistent, the drain clogs with less frequency, and he doesn’t look quite so much like a drowned rat when it rains.

Dr. Raynor is pleased when he shows up. She says it suits him, that it makes him look normal, that folks will have a harder time recognizing him as the Winter Soldier.

(They already don’t recognize me, he wants to say but doesn’t. I could be standing in front of a newscast about myself and no one would notice. I spent the better part of a century in the shadows — you think I don’t know how to hide?)

“James,” she says in that self-righteous way she does so well, “this is progress.”

She must be right, for she’s got that fancy, framed degree up on her wall that says she’s right, and there’s the goddamn pardon thing that means he cannot step one foot over the line no matter how ridiculous that line is. He utters a thank-you to her, white-knuckles his way through the session, and continues trying to cobble together a life.

Sam brings it up one day, after Walker, the Flag Smashers, and Bucky’s tentative integration into the Wilsons’ orbit. “Meant to say, looks good, man.”

It’s an innocuous statement, really. Well, it should be. Sam regards him a little too long, a little too probingly, for Bucky to believe that it is, in fact, innocuous. Sam’s gauging his reaction is what he’s doing, so Bucky denies a reaction that permits any gauging at all. The slight frown that appears between Sam’s brows tells him he succeeded.

Sam keeps up the ruse nonetheless, following it up with a playful insult as to Bucky’s cutting skills. He texts him the address of someone who is, allegedly, the best barber in Louisiana, tells him he made an appointment for tomorrow afternoon. Bucky goes. It’s not like he’s got anything better to do these days.

He’s the only white guy in the place, which elicits both stares from the other patrons and a hearty laugh from the barber resetting his station. “Sergeant Barnes?”

“How’d you guess?” Bucky deadpans, earning himself another laugh.

He’s gotten better at controlling his fears, his impulses, so the barber’s array of scissors and razors does not send him straight into the alleyway like it did years ago. The soul food from around the corner stays firmly in his stomach. The barber himself — Marcus — is jovial, considerate, and does his best to counter the uneasiness Bucky knows must be rolling off him in waves. Some good-natured shit-talking to cap things off.

Despite it all, when Marcus asks, “Just maintenance, sarge? Or you lookin’ for something new?” Bucky pauses.

And pauses some more, prompting Marcus to ask again, “Mr. Barnes?”

“Sorry,” Bucky says, realizing he’s a few more seconds of silence away from making Marcus genuinely concerned. “I just, uh …”

“I got a few suggestions, if you need,” Marcus offers. “Bit of fade on the sides, or —”

“No,” Bucky blurts out.

Marcus holds his hands up. “All right, no fade then.”

“That’s not — I didn’t mean —” Bucky takes a deep breath through his nose, exhales through his mouth. “I’m not trying to be rude, it’s …”

Bucky looks in the mirror again. Takes in the same face he’s seen for the past seven months, ever since Dr. Raynor gave him the suggestion-that-wasn’t-a-suggestion. He trusts in Marcus’s talents, that even Sam would find it worthy of a compliment.

(He can’t say he’d turn down a compliment from Sarah either, flirting ban be damned. It’d be Sam’s own fault, anyway.)

“I’m growing it out,” Bucky declares, as much to himself as to Marcus.

“Okay, cool. I can see it.” Then Marcus adds, almost pleads, “I gotta at least clean it up. No disrespect, but did you use a hacksaw?”

Bucky lets his mind drift as Marcus’s twang launches into another story. Half an hour later, he comes away with a list of must-watches and must-eats, plus a full pamphlet on how to not fuck up Marcus’s handiwork. After a generous tip and firm handshake, Bucky emerges from the shop feeling … not strange, exactly, but something.

The unspoken change, once it’s noticed in the months afterwards, garners him a variety of responses from the Wilson clan. When Bucky’s birthday rolls around, Sam and the giggling boys go in on a smorgasbord of scrunchies and clips that Bucky’s fairly certain were designed for a six-year-old girl. More seriously, a tin of pomade that Bucky knows is damn expensive.

For Sarah’s part, several hours later, the pain-pleasure of her knotting her fingers in his hair as she gasps out his name like a prayer is, he thinks, a resounding endorsement.

(Dr. Raynor would — possibly literally — smack him in the face with disappointment if she saw. Walker’d taken care of that, though, of her say-so having any bearing on his choices. Not that Bucky plans on sending the man a thank-you note or anything.)

As it nears his shoulders, Bucky supposes it does make him resemble the Winter Soldier. More than the bright-eyed draftee who gave his life for god and country, anyway, or the subject of the post-Snap government’s rebranding campaign.

Except, in his reflection he also sees the fugitive who’d been coaxed by his elderly neighbor into Sunday dinners of enough sarmale and mămăligă and papanași to give even his metabolism a run for its money. The man who’d been gifted new life, goats, and an affectionate nickname by Wakandans who never once looked at him with fear. The reluctant soldier who stood side-by-side with a talking raccoon and Asgardian god against an alien onslaught.

And maybe it’s silly to put so much stock in something as simple as hair. Maybe Bucky’s value system is in worse shape than his ability to tell fact from fiction when he wakes from a dream (a memory?).

But when he stares into the mirror with the Louisiana heat sticking hair and clothes alike to his skin, a house full of scampering feet, bickering, and hot breakfast just outside the door, it is not the Winter Soldier or James Barnes The Upstanding Member of Society that he sees. He sees himself. Just himself.

“You good, Buck?” Sarah asks when he comes downstairs, worry in her eyes. “You were in there awhile.”

“Yeah,” he wants to say — and does, because he can, because it’s the truth. A smile creeps onto his face. “I’m good.”

[euphoriclusts]

closed starter for @touchbased

"you're actually fucking insane." the man scoffs, trying his damnedest to regulate his body's reactions. with a knife pressed firm against his throat, deacon shouldn't be into it and whilst he is terrified, he's equally horny. "what do you want?"

[nishloves]

moots <3

despite being an e, I'm very awkward on social media and it's hard for me to interact with people who aren't my irl, but surprisingly I made so many friends here (even though we don't talk as much) and that makes me so happy 🥺🩷

noelle; @icyminghao

my first moot <3 I was so excited when you followed me back because I literally loved your works, we haven't talked in a long time but i genuinely adore you and hope you're doing well! and all the dedicated songs made me so happy that you think of me this dearly

sunny; @feat-sun

thankyou so much for supporting me<3 all your comments have uplifted me throughout my tumblr journey and motivated me to post my works, thankyou thankyou <3

kat!; @ksyongi

we just became moots and I don't know you that well but I seriously love your works and had almost squealed when I saw you followed me because you were one of the first accounts I had followed on tumblr<3 hope we can get to know each other better!

@dearharshii

my irl bestie <3

kat; @blackcat2907

I know we haven't interacted a lot, but I love seeing your posts on my dashboard (I used to love pjo too and now am getting back into it again!) I hope in future we can talk more and get to know each other!

kala; @jeonride 🐾

I remember following you because of your immaculate recs and i felt so honoured when you followed me back! almost like a reassurance that my fics are now getting better <3 hope we can get to know each other better soon!

sunny; @sunnylovespickles

I remember following you a long time ago because of kala's recommendations and then doing a happy dance when I saw you followed me back! we haven't interacted much but you seem like a beautiful person and I hope we can get to know each other better<3

aania; @aaniag

thankyou for supporting me so much! it really feels nice to think that you have an audience to write for and an audience to appreciate your works! all your interactions made me so happy <33

may; @som1ig

i can't stress just how much I loved your pjo series and being updated on it! you seem like a very chill person with a very cool vibe and I hope we can get to know each other better! <3 ( spoiler : we did and i love you sm more now aaaaaaa <33333333 )

aznik; @thepoopdokyeomtouched

our first interaction was both of us simping on desi svt and honestly, i found you to be a full vibe since then, thanks for supporting me sm, thanks for liking my fics and interacting with me and thanks for all the motivation you've unknowingly given to me, just- thank you for existing <3

aiden; @gojos-thot-patrol-main

my first anime moot and our first interaction was absolutely nuts- i still go back to #jjk soap opera tag and end up cackling because of how messy every single thing was- not to mention that all your sukuna fics are my guilty pleasure and i literally squealed when i got the notif that you followed me and we're moots now!!! hope we interact more and take care of yourself!

star; @starsstuddedsky

i just can't stress enough how much i am in love with your fics and specially wlih because i had been religiously following it- i love your works and i really really hope that we interact more <3

nora; @woozvc-main

we've just become moots and haven't really interacted a lot but i love your smaus and i'd love to talk with you more <3

mina; @alsktudy

gosh, i really think that your fics are so cute- i really appreciate all the comments, all the reblogs and all the interactions you bestow upon me and you're such an amazing and chill and fun person too! hope we talk more <3

sarah; @kkooongie

we haven't interacted much out of tag games but oh my god your works are so awesome- and your series are literally chef's kiss. awaiting all your upcoming works, you're amazing <3

[fullpcgue]

@storminmyveins said: "That thing you stepped on? That was my foot." from JJ for Sarah

"Shit, sorry." Dancing has never really been Sarah's thing. She took dance classes when she was a kid, as did most of the kook girls. They were preparing them for Midsummers from the time they could walk. But Sarah never really liked those classes. She begged her dad to take her out of them, and he finally caved when she was in third grade.

The last time she remembers dancing like this was at Midsummers. Just after she and John B got together. Before she found out who her father and her brother really were. The lengths they'd go to in order to get what they want. Right before her life fell apart and got so much bigger than she ever could've anticipated.

Maybe that's part of the reason she was so zoned out and stepped on JJ's foot. The last person she remembers dancing with like this was her dad. And she knows it's strange to miss him. She knows it's probably something the rest of them would maybe judge her for. Because, yes, he was a monster. And he did bad things. He tried to hurt them, he tried to hurt her. But he's still her dad. Well, he was. It's a complex thing. She doesn't think it'll ever not be complicated.

"Bet you regret volunteering to dance with me now, huh?"

[morvantmortuary]

Sorry to hear you've had a rough day. Sending you good vibes and virtual hugs 🖤🖤🖤

thank you for this, darling, I super appreciate you thinking of me 🥰

some of it was honestly funny in hindsight? like, the two campus buses I have to take to get to work somehow stretched my commute into an hour each way

…I live ten minutes from my office 🙃

then I sent this job listing I really liked to the director of our professionalization committee for this year, which I knew wasn’t my exact specialization but I have other circumstances that made me think it would work, only for the director to explain I would be a super duper long shot (if I was considered at all) bc they’re actually looking for an MFA student but they didn’t outright say it in the listing

did I mention I switched to applying for my phd five years ago even though I originally wanted an mfa, I somehow thought a phd would be more practical

so then I went looking through all the job app websites I’m signed up for, and while I found a lot of openings for other specializations (ukrainian lit, italian lit, pre-1000 bce), I found maybe one or two for what’s considered the most general application of what I do

and they were both for military academies :’D which I really, uh, don’t want to work at

so then I was like “okay, boot and rally, it’s gonna be fine, let’s just finally get the committee together” and sent out an email being like “hey guys we still haven’t decided on a date to meet and it’s like month 2 of the semester, how about [x day]” bc I’m feeling really unsteady about my dissertation and I’m under a lot of pressure from my dad to finish as soon as possible, so I’ve been trying to get ahold of them for weeks now it feels like

only for my new chair to immediately be like “nope sry”

so then I got home (an hour later) (I still only live ten minutes away) and realized that I think my best friend since I was little forgot to send me a birthday present when she usually always remembers

which she’s not obligated to do obviously, we’re both adults and she’s had some stuff going on, but between that and the fact that the two friends whom I supported through their dissertation/defense periods have just, like, left - one is on the other side of the world, one might as well be - I just got feeling very lonely :’D as much as I love all my friends in my phone, it’s just kind of hard sometimes in meatspace. no one else in my family has been to graduate school before (hell, I’m the second person in my immediate family to graduate from college and the first to not fail out temporarily in the process) and sometimes I feel weird talking to my non-grad irl friends bc they treat me like I’m still in college/don’t have a real job yet (they don’t mean to, it’s just how people think of grad school in the states), so. yeah.

…and then the scary possession movie I rented to feel better turned out to be a conservative religious propaganda movie in disguise, which was just the cherry on top

(that’s the last time I rent a movie without checking imdb first)

but then the next day was better: my committee chair swung by my desk himself (we work across the hall from one another) and hung out and talked me through some of my biggest worries for a bit (and even said he liked my chapter, which was amazing bc I was afraid it was hot garbage), and my boss was really nice and gave me some cake balls from the local bakery for a belated birthday present (I can’t eat them due to food allergies but the thought counts!!), and I actually drove myself to work instead of taking one of the buses, which shouldn’t be a big deal but is for me bc I hate driving anywhere after a bad accident I had a few years ago :’D then my committee members emailed me like “hey how about next week!!” and I was like “oh phew okay” and found out one of them hasn’t been avoiding me, he’s just on teaching leave for the semester lmao (he’d sent me comments first and I hadn’t seen him since, so I was like “omg was it that bad” even though his comments were fairly chill) so I guess my lesson for the week is that I just need to be patient and let things work out

…then this morning I woke up with a migraine :’D but it’s not the worst one I’ve had so far, so. it evens out I guess!!

anyway, sorry to hurgle all this at you after your super nice ask, it’s just been A Lot. if you read this far, you’re a saint and I love you 😂🖤

cheers to the rest of this week looking better!! hopefully!!! knock on wood!!!

[lovecharged]

for @intcxications continued from here.

the woman has a point, stan tilting his head as if to inspect her, or more than likely, check her out. "what's a good idea and what i want don't often align," he confesses, biting into his bottom lip as he too, takes a step closer. he's teetering over a dangerous edge, but whenever he sees her -- he just can't bring himself to care. "so, how can i be of service, sarah?"

[drunkonpotential]

@forthewinn said: "You're leaving. Right now." (100% Winn @ Ellie in dark verse)

A lot of people have come crashing into Ellie's life in the last few years. Like Jeff and Lester, Sarah, John Casey. And those additions have been welcome, mostly. But she kind of thought the infusion of people into her life had its halt for the time being.

But her expectations typically aren't met in the way she had been anticipating. Because now there's another new neighbor. John Casey's nephew. Which, she had no idea he even had a nephew. But that relationship really is just strictly neighborly. It's small talk and invitations to dinner parties in which he usually is kind enough to bring a bottle of wine. She likes John.

His nephew on the other hand? He seems like a real piece of work. He's dismissive to say the least. She can count the number of times she's seen him on one hand. And after that first meeting, when he had dinner at her house and ditched before the meal was even over, she's mostly only seen him when she goes to visit Chuck at the Buy More.

But not tonight. Tonight is a little different. Because, strangely enough, Ellie is in John Casey's house. John had mentioned something to her about his nephew healing from an injury. But refusing to go to a doctor. And well, Ellie's a helpful person. So she volunteered to take a look if the's really worried about it. And John seemed grateful enough at her offer, and she stopped by after her shift. And sat in the living room with John, in relative silence, as they waited for his nephew to get home.

It feels like a bit of an ambush, if she's being honest. But whatever he's healing from could be very dangerous if left untreated. It's safe to say he wasn't happy to see her, but she doesn't really care. Although, she does happen to care about the immediate attitude he chose to lead with.

"Um, I'm not, actually." She says, her eyebrows shooting up in slight surprise as she looks over at John. Who rolls his eyes and shakes his head. He's clearly more used to responses like this than she is, but it doesn't mean he likes them either. "Your uncle asked for my help. So I'm helping."

[trcstme]

@forthewinn

Sarah's good at her job, okay? She keeps people safe from threats they don't even know are there. She's well trained, and she's been trained to withstand the effects of a bunch of different drugs and serums. But she can't learn to withstand the side effects of something that they don't know exists.

It had been a mission gone wrong. One of Winn's first in the field with them, and that's probably part of the reason she'd been so distracted. She was a little too concerned with where he was and what he was doing. She wasn't keeping her focus where it needed to be. And then it all went to shit. There was a scuffle because it always ends in a fight. It seems like it can never end any other way these days.

She'd just been so worried about him and how well he was holding his own that she hadn't seen her attacker coming. She hadn't realized her error until she felt a slight pinprick in her neck. And then her vision got floaty, until it went black.

She's not sure where she is when she comes to. She just knows that it's like she's underwater. The voices are muffled, but it's almost like they're calling her name. There's more than one of them. There's movement. She's being jostled.

She feels different. Floaty. A little spacey. Everything feels lighter. She feels so much lighter. And not just in her body. She just feels happier. Better. And then she opens her eyes, blinks a few times until her vision clears up and he leans into her line of sight.

She smiles, at least she's pretty sure she's smiling. She feels smiley as she looks up at him and says:

"You're cute, did you know that?"

[lordgolden]

nynaeve could do punching two gods and kelsier could do having a homoerotic relationship with one of the forsaken

[sarcasticmercy]

🎶🎶

Here

Youtube

Tracklist & lyric links below, anything utilizing screaming colored this time. Also went for something more for the D&D AU. I could not for the life of me find lyrics for "Blue Flame" and I am annoyed

Overgrown - machineheart

"Try to tell me what I can and cannot do Who to be and do not be It'll drive me to the brink"

Force of Nature - Miracle of Sound, Sarah Murray

"‘Cause I can see the worlds unseen I can hear them call to me Harnessing the energy From every fall and failure I’ll be a force of nature"

Under the Radar - Abney Park

"Here we come, on the run, our coal fires are burning Here we come, fife and drum, under the radar we crept on!"

Wild Birds - Lyriel

"Sing and dance together But we remain wild birds forever Until we fail, until we're dead!"

The Heresy - Mushroomhead

"We feed the war machine The sacrifice has just begun We feed the war machine"

Blue Flame - Gio Navas

"Have you ever seen a ghost like me? I am made of all your shattered dreams Were you careful with the skeletons, That you buried for the hell of it?"

Doubt Me - Beartooth

"When you doubt me It fuels the fire even more So gimme all you got I can't wait to watch you rot If there's one thing you should learn about me Don't ever fucking doubt me"

The Rapture (but it's pink) - Scene Queen feat. Mothica

"Someone call the doctor, baby Someone call the morgue 'Cause ivory towers shatter When you show them as they are"

IT'S YOUR LACK OF RESPECT - FLAT BLACK

"Those crazy little voices say, careful who you give your trust to I know what it is I see I'm not blind to your vanity I felt it when you stole my faith"

Hollow Points - Motionless in White

"Holier than thou yet soaked in your sin (You'll be sanctified) Of misrepresenting all you claim to hold dear You'll never see it for the evil that it's now become And bite the knife when it strikes, I'll cut out your tongue"

Inside - Fate DeStroyed

"Despite the rage that burns inside tonight What once where dreams undone in the candle light Lost somewhere between these endless ocean tides I scream for nothing, I’m drowning, I'm fading inside"

In My Blood - Enemy Inside

"Nothing is enough An endless crave Inside my guts I can’t be tamed It's in my blood"

Smoke You Out - Self Deception

"You better run, I'm a loaded gun Painting a target on everyone Won't make a sound When You're six feet underground"

[guacamolera]

laney: why not TAKE weed????

corey: so.. when u snort weed does it hurt ur nose

[someawesomeamvs]

Warning: Major spoilers, violence, flashing lights

Title: Bear Witness

Editor: BecauseImBored1

Song: Other Friends (feat. Sarah Stiles, Zach Callison, Deedee Magno)

Audio Source: Steven Universe the Movie

Anime: Danganronpa: The Animation, Danganronpa 3: Zetsubou-hen

Category: For fun/Drama

[maikeymonroe]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MY LIL BIRD! ( @srahpaulsons​ )

Cannot believe you’re a year older and still getting hotter by the second. Please share your secrets because I wanna be you. I hope you had the most amazing birthday ever and that this next year is the best one yet! Forever hoping I find my way back to your arms. 

Love, your tallest bestie! 

PS: was VERY tempted to send you a blown up, tasteful picture of me shirtless (you see my back,) but didn’t wanna step on any toes. Just know it was gonna be yours. 

( two dozen mixed flavor truffles) 

(a cooled, weighted blanket)

(a one year subscription to winc’s wine club)

(custom embroidered sweatshirt with her dogs on it!)

[loveswealth]

closed for @touchbased

"you're fucking crazy," try as he might to feign disgust over the fact, the smirk that exposes itself against the corner of his mouth alludes to the truth. "she didn't - she was just a fan, she didn't mean anything to me."