#feel like I gotta add that one

[pink-n-spooky]

So I was thinking about how in the past you had to put in a lot of effort to make a mixtape for someone. Like you had to wait for songs to come on, yk all that jazz (I’m 19 and have no clue how it worked). Anyways, I’m soooo glad we can just makes playlists now, but making one for someone is a much smaller gesture than making them a mixtape. They can just totally be copy and paste. So I thought a fun way to spice it up and make it more personal would be to make playlist layouts customizable!! That way it really feels like someone made something for you.

I made a little edit of what I mean!! Plz ignore the playlist name and description, I think it’s clear enough :’)

Here’s what I’m imagining:

Before & after!!

Like I’d be so excited if someone made that for me.

[arsillanola]

Good Omentober drawing challenge Day 3 - The Fall

Alone, falling all over again.

(Yes I like inflicting pain on myself, I am sorry)

Following these prompts Other drawings in this challenge

Detail shots below the cut.

[larabar]

some adau things ^^ he cheers barry on through the dreamgear

[crimeronan]

one big thing about polyshipping for me is, like. you know how some people will have their eyes opened to homoerotic relationships in media bc they'll realize, "wait, if these people were two different genders, i'd 100% assume they're into each other. i have a double standard that i never noticed"?

there's a polyamorous equivalent in certain media that's basically just. "if you didn't assume this character is monogamous, you would 100% believe they have crushes on & are dating all of their friends." OR, "if this character wasn't dating somebody else already, you would 100% interpret this new friendship of theirs as a crush/budding romance."

usually the creators of the media aren't thinking about polyamory when they make it! usually the creators of the media are thinking "i want this character's friends to be as important to them as their romantic partners, we don't get enough of that in media," which is great and true and also EXACTLY WHY IT WORKS AS A POLY NARRATIVE. people will be like you don't Have to polyship why can't you just let platonic relationships be important ugh 🙄 & i'm like i did my years in the "why can't two men just be friends why does everything have to be gay 🙄" trenches. you're not doing this to me. we're not doing it about polyshipping. we're skipping over that whole discourse cutscene because i am Too Tired For It. don't even start

sometimes characters are so full of love and affection and joy for so many people that i start gnawing off my hands about how polyamory isn't normalized. because i'll watch/read certain media and i'll be like. listen. this is a polycule. i know you don't know this because your creators don't know this and that is totally okay but you are a Wildly polyamorous person who's ambiguously trapped in the 2000s/2010s with Big Monogamy psyops eating your brain. please let me free you. please i can give you Everything .

PLEASE KISS YOUR FRIENDS

[spicyraeman]

had an epiphany and now Phylo's gettin a makeover

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

some alien fish concepts for my headworld. well. one of them. the dragon one! well. one of them-

tiny note that these are not to scale compared to each other <3

[rotisseries]

inspired by elli's poll lol cause this seems fun actually but if you guys have bad answers I'll kill myself on your doorstep or smth

[squirreledawayart]

So that 'oh naur' joke has definitely made me watch this show and I have no regrets

[suffarustuffaru]

why otto was pissed off at julius (also - otto might have developed Control Issues???) (another arc 8 otto theory/analysis)

so this is a sequel to my other post on why otto is so pissed off at subaru (arc 8 ch 24) which. yeah this says a lot about otto either way given ive now made more than one analysis post about why hes being a Pissbaby HAH but anyway.

i think ottos anger at julius is super fascinating bc it seemingly comes out of nowhere, but i think it makes sense upon first glance. julius straightforwardly breaks the hard cold truth to subaru about how louis Has to die. otto snaps at julius bc of what you assume to be either 1. otto doesnt agree with louis dying and/or 2. otto doesnt want julius to say this because itll upset subaru. but then theres the answer that otto gives, which is: otto doesnt want an outsider to the emilia camp interfering with this matter because it affects the emilia camp the most.

we know that reasons 2 (subaru will be upset hearing that louis will most likely have to die) and 3 (otto doesnt want someone outside of emilia camp interfering) are True. the latter is obvious because otto himself is being truthful when he states that, and the former is likely true due to otto snapping at julius after julius says that louis has to die right to subarus face after subarus tried to defend louis, showing that subaru cares deeply for her. otto snapping at julius reads partially, to me at least, as him trying to defend subaru with all the energy of covering the ears on a child so they dont hear something Bad.

but only two chapters after otto first snaps at julius we learn that not only does otto agree with julius on louis needing to be dead, but otto agrees to the point where hes withholding information in order for the emilia camp to remain suspicious of louis and so louis is more likely to die. so it’s interesting that the Only Reasons otto gives to julius on why otto does not want julius interfering with emilia camp are 1. you are an outsider to this matter and 2. you are my enemy. otto is specifically very hostile to julius and anastasia Even After julius apologizes for interrupting in emilia camp matters - and otto Still pushes forward to emphasize that he considers julius and anastasia enemies.

for someone as politically savvy as otto, it's Off-putting that he takes such a passionate position against both julius and anastasia when he knows that theyre not only subarus friends, but theyre also strong allies to the emilia camp who aided them in arc 6 and are loyal enough to follow them into vollachia. so why is otto being so hostile to them when, if anything, it's a Detriment to be so hostile to your own camps allies?

but theres also something else about julius - otto specifically notes that julius "walks in the light" just as emilia and subaru do. despite being beaten down by life, they still choose to hold onto their idealism and their genuine desire to save people. but otto also notes that - unlike emilia and subaru - julius draws the line at louis, and, just like otto, julius figures that louis has to die. which is absolutely not something that julius does on the regular (ex novel readers will remember that julius felt saddened by balleroy dying), and otto recognizes that julius's idealism vs his desire to end louis are in conflict with each other. subaru, at the moment, is at the extreme end of idealism - the desire to save Everyone and go against all odds. otto is, at this point, at the extreme other end - otto is pragmatic and not only doesnt believe that everyone can be saved, but otto doesnt believe that he can have everything he wants, so he has to prioritize. julius, meanwhile, is the in between - julius is a knight that serves a pragmatic merchant himself, and while he wants to save people, he wants to kill louis. he recognizes that louis dying is the cleanest outcome, with a suitable punishment for her actions, and for that reason it has to happen. otto seems uncomfortable by this because he sincerely believes that his path is the best one to take, even though it isnt necessarily morally right - meaning that he figures that he has to oppose subaru and emilia in order to move forward. but then julius comes along and challenges everything ottos thinking by being this blend of subaru and ottos beliefs.

but what is ottos path? otto wants everything to go the way that he plans, which may or may not align with emilia and subarus desires. otto wants it to align with the emilia camps desires because he cares for them and his loyalty to them dictates so much of his actions. but that same loyalty has been leading him to take increasingly excessive actions in the name of trying to keep them safe, both physically and politically, and in his head, keeping his camp safe doesnt Always align with what the rest of his camp wants. keeping his camp safe means doing so even at the cost of going behind his camp's backs. keeping his camp safe means that he's going to keep them safe even if they become upset at his actions.

thats because ottos had this small habit (thats been. steadily growing) of doing what he thinks is best with little to no communication with the rest of his camp. he saved roswaal's tome and kept it hidden from the rest of his camp for a year. he did this out of his continued wariness of roswaal and he plans to restore the book just to find the information in it - and once hes done that, he plans to destroy the book again so that it doesnt fall into the wrong hands. being suspicious of roswaal is understandable, but keeping the fact that he grabbed the tome secret for a year is Definitely a little sketchy. and it doesnt help matters that that same tome he brought into priestella lures the witch cult into the city.

on top of that, theres of course ottos scheming so that the emilia camp agrees to help vollachia in a way that He Wants, along with otto purposefully withholding information about louis. On Top of That, it's not just that ottos withholding information + wanting louis dead - those are already slightly questionable enough, but additionally otto is well aware that subaru cares deeply for louis. otto has not voiced his desire for louis to die and has hidden information that could help save louis's life. theres absolutely No Way that otto doesnt know that if/once louis dies, subaru will be Very distraught by this, but otto keeps going anyway out of pragmatism - out of the thought that subaru will have to eventually get over louis dying, because otto has weighed the possible costs and benefits in his head and hes decided that killing louis has less consequences even though itd deeply upset subaru. thats what walking in the dark means - otto will oppose subaru and emilia out of practicality, because what will actually keep them safe in ottos opinion might not align with what they actually want to do. ottos position in arc 8 thus far implies that hes willing to betray his friends if it means keeping them safe.

this is even more interesting when you bring up a certain quote from the bittersweet peddling trade log side story - otto notes: "But wouldn't I have nightmares if I forsook a person who has done nothing wrong?"

and what is he doing in arc 8? he tried to forsake almost, if not all 50 million people in vollachia. hes trying to forsake someone he knows is innocent now (louis). he's trying to save subaru, but at the same time hes forsaking subaru by withholding information that could potentially save louis. hes tried to forsake julius and anastasia in the sense that his words carry weight as internal affairs minister of the emilia camp and he just declared them - loyal allies to his camp -his enemies.

the thing is - otto is a hypocrite. in more ways than one. otto tells subaru to depend on his friends more in arc 4 - which was the Big Speech of arc 4 - only to turn around and do various things behind his own friends' backs in the name of trying to save them. only to turn around and announce julius and anastasia aka allies to his camp are Enemies. otto snaps at julius to back away as julius is an "outsider" - and while julius is an outsider in the sense that hes not part of emilia camp, everyone reading the novels knows that julius himself has been majorly fucked over by louis and therefore has more than earned the right to have a say in what happens to her. otto remains suspicious of roswaal, understandably, only to agree with todds tactics in arc 7 and make strategies himself (his Leaving Vollachia and only taking who you care about plan) that roswaal agrees with. otto is the one snapping back at roswaal and insisting that roswaals only telling him that opposing subaru and emilia is a poison that will Kill Him because roswaal wants otto to be less difficult and more Compliant so that roswaal can get up to his own schemes - as if otto himself isnt making his own schemes in his head. otto knows that things like his plan to ditch vollachia is callous and hurts innocent people, especially after seeing roswaal agree with his tactics, and he feels guilty for this. but he keeps going anyway, which will likely end up proving roswaal right. the roswaal + otto and todd + otto parallels are Extremely purposeful, especially with the vollachia saga (arc 7-8) where one of the themes is about whether you can truly save everyone without sacrificing morality.

julius might be the proof that there is some sort of middle ground between subaru and ottos worldviews and strategies. you can do unpleasant things that may need to be done while still remaining kind and trying to save as many as you can - instead of abandoning them.

but ottos been Excessively harsh to julius, anastasia, and even roswaal and subaru. getting so angry at someone that you punch a wall hard enough to break your hand not just once, but nearly twice, is Excessive, especially when subarus goal is ultimately just trying to save people. and i think you could also attribute ottos Harshness to the stress hes under right now. otto is - friendly reminder, hah - the same guy who gets anxious easily to the point where his stomach hurts. he gets anxious over paperwork. he gets anxious over his friends and their. lacking. negotiation skills. hes always been Very Loud in his complaints whenever they do things hes not happy with. he admits that hes lost weight because of stress at the BEGINNING of arc 5 (otto, im so sorry but you literally havent gone through all of arc 5+ yet). his drinking is also to cope with stress (our introduction to him in arc 3 is otto coping with his new debt by drinking in a bar). so - otto is Easily anxious. over a lot of things. by the time we get to arc 8, hes gone through a Lot to get here. and stress does Not look good on otto.

where do control issues stem from? yeah, ottos main motivator is to save his camp, but past that, hes tired of not having control. in ch 24 he questions himself - he questions his purpose and his existence and he comes to the conclusion that his meaning for existence is to oppose subaru. subaru, at his core, is all about exerting his will - he brute forces the outcomes he wants because of rbd.

otto, meanwhile, is left to be dragged into danger again and again. ottos life is already out of his control often because of his bad luck and because of his dp making life difficult for him in his formative years - and now hes been dragged into danger repeatedly the moment he got involved with subaru. arc 5 in particular, however, was partially a consequence of otto bringing the tome to priestella - but its a consequence that he didnt expect at all. ottos legs were injured severely by gluttony, leaving him out of commission with no choice but to watch subaru and some of their camp walk away to the watchtower to face more danger without otto being able to be there to make sure theyre safe (otto specifically tells subaru at the end of arc 5 that hes Very Unhappy with this decision). then otto has to go to vollachia to save rem and subaru, only to arrive there and realize that subaru wants to stay to help vollachia. otto goes - fine. if thats what you want, ill help. and then otto finds out that subarus trying to defend gluttony. otto, i think, has grown increasingly resentful of the danger he and his friends have been put in (which is a mix of factors Out of their Control, but its also just. his friends sometimes deciding to do dangerous things as well), so hes developed this mentality that its him and his camp versus everyone else. it all boils down to the thought he has that he cant have both. and if his friends are really going to try to have both, hes going to try to do what he thinks is best. because if they keep trying to pick the more dangerous options - ie the worse options, in ottos opinion - then hes going to make more decisions behind their backs. because hes not gonna trust them to make the decisions that he thinks are the better ones, because its not in Their Nature to do so.

but its in his nature to do that. what do you do when something grows out of control? you try to exert control. theres also the possibility of: why keep allies to your camp around when they encourage your camp to continue staying in vollachia? how can you trust them if theyre going to interrupt on your internal camp affairs?

which is why he grows angry at julius for trying to interfere - because being the internal affairs minister to the emilia camp is otto's job, and he doesnt want someone outside of the camp interfering with his friends and any possible plans he has or will have. this is also why julius apologizes to otto - he recognizes ottos protectiveness and ottos status within his camp.

so. anyway. TLDR: ottos acting a little similar to arc 4 subaru, isnt he? thinking he knows whats best.... trying to manipulate everything around him to get the outcome he wants..... pushing forward on his own instead of depending on his friends..... refusing to depend on his friends.... having Confrontations with roswaal...... etc, etc.

[neighbourhoodtwo]

nearly finished all of mmni and i'm fully convinced that every song can be plotted on this graph

[missingexaltation]

(Mini little fic idea, post Vecna)

Eddie wanted Steve and Wayne to get on, and at first, he was utterly ecstatic when they did.

But Steve starts to come over to watch various sports games, laughing and jostling with Wayne on the couch whenever one of their teams wins a point, or scores a goal or whatever, Eddie starts feeling inadequate and useless.

He watches from a distance, too wary to approach, too scared of upsetting the equilibrium. After all he's spent years rolling his eyes and grumbling about football and baseball and basketball to take a seat next to them now. He's more than made his bed now, years of sulky teenagehood in the making. It's not their fault, he knows. It's all his own, a drama of his own creation.

He watches as Wayne laughs and jokes, haphazardly waving his beer and cackling with delight, with the sort of son that he deserves. A son that brings calmness and stability instead of late night police escorts and a mountain of medical bills.

The empty, cavernous hole in his chest aches as he sits there (pretending to work on his campaign), through game after game, match after match. Wayne had given up so much for him. He could have had a family of his own, instead of raising his brother's useless, wretched kid. He could have gotten married, had a real home and an easy life. A beautiful, doting wife to give him the world.

Instead, Wayne had been cursed with a fuck up for a nephew, a shitty fold up bed in a shitty trailer and a job that was ageing him before his time. A vexing, frustration of a life that he didn't deserve. That Eddie had made worse by default.

Eddie knew he was selfish, and loud, and easily excitable and distracted. That he was used to getting his own way in these walls, barely noticing and sacrificing a thing while Wayne quietly suffered instead. It had been the same for his parents. They'd wanted a normal kid too, but even his dad's temper hadn't been enough to dampen his ability to irritate.

He'd tried to be quieter for Wayne in the past. Better behaved, his personality crammed into a tiny internal box to make himself more palatable, easier to love and want around. But Wayne had been offended by it. Claimed Eddie shouldn't have to change himself for anyone, not even his guardian, to be honest with who he is.

But looking over at them now, Eddie felt like he should have tried harder. Sure, 'being himself' was the fucking care bear motto spat out by well meaning adults trying to convince the weird kids they'd be ok. But he could have tried harder not to be so difficult, he could have watched Wayne's sports games with him and graduated high school and handed over his earnings instead of buying dumb shit.

The gnawing, desolate guilt consumed him. Steve was sweet, charming and polite, a parents dream (also...absolutely fucking gorgeous and the best sex Eddie had ever had, but that was besides the point). He could understand why Wayne has found it easy to befriend him, hell Eddie unquestionably loved the bones of him, but it put in sharp relief how Eddie just didn't measure up to the barest minimum standard, let alone what his uncle deserved.

So instead, he started taking on extra shifts at work, pulling as many as he could so that he could try and convince Wayne to drop his hours and start taking it easy. He kept the house tidy and even helped nurture the blossoming little something that was growing between Wayne and Claudia, spending more nights with Steve so that they could canoodle out of sight of Dustin's sullen glares.

He was exhausted, but it was worth it to see Wayne less on edge, back on the day shift since Eddie was finally picking up the slack. Now he had time for 'guy nights' with Steve, expanding to include Sinclair and the newly resurrected Chief Hop too.

"You're a good kid, Ed." Wayne told him one evening, and despite everything, Eddie was unprepared for the avalanche of emotions that it unlocked.

I'm not, I'm not, I'm not.

His brain chanted, automatically.

But I want to be.

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

want to get nerdy really fast about all the cool little concepts and ideas that went into hallowed bodies because I fell into the trap of Hating It Until It Was Over & nowwww I remember that I specifically chose to write 90% of it in vignettes to capture a feeling of stunted listlessness in the narrative, that I literallyyyyy kept a character unnamed as a way to thematically emphasize the omnipresent anonymity of men in Lonan’s life (his father, god, Harrison), that I leapt off the ending of BODY BACK that ends in a church (HB starts in a church), that both first chapters in BB and HB have the protagonist yearning for someone to lead VS someone to follow, that similarly, both books delve into the same premise but with vastly different circumstances, that the ending was designed to also be a foil of the end of BB (Harrison walks INTO a church, Lonan walks OUT) & yeahhhh it’s pretty cool lol

[sysig]

Horse girl arc (Patreon)

[zorphie]

i remembered this line from azteca and it made me wonder what going through a spiral door is like?WHY is there dirt when you pass through. im confused. i thought we were just walking through a simple door??? yw what are you doing in there

maybe something about magic leaving some kind of debris because you get "teleported" to the next world. but i kinda just imagined that when you used a key and opened the door, it showed the other worlds like a window and you just walked through in 2 seconds, simple. so um

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

fuckfuck fuck i need to make more physical crafts i need to create tangible things that i can hold with my two hands and put it somewhere i can See It and think Wow. I Made That.

[tswwwit]

psst listen listen listen i know you've probably got 30k+ WIPs but do you think you might ever grant us the blessing of some confessing it from bill's POV? (like when they were on a break, etc?) no pressure just curious!!

This is by far the most requested Bill POV from Confessing It, so rest assured it's on my list of stuff to get to!