#fighting for my fuckin life over here dan

[histories-and-mystery]

Kevin and the Coffee Shop

Chapter 2

an: hey guys! Chapter 2 came a few days early! Hope you enjoy!

After a moment's pause, Kevin gave his answer

“Yeah, sure I’ll work here. But can you get someone here to show me the ropes cause I still don't know what I’m doing”

Seán laughed “Yeah! Course I can! You’ll have to be trained by at least one of us. I was gonna assign you Brian but-”

Suddenly there was shout from the back as Brian burst through the door

“I’m not going to a damn Hospital just let me do my feckin job Daithi” he pushed past Dan who had run to intercept him

“I don’t need a doctor right now! Move Daniel” he struggled as Daithi grabbed at his shoulder

“Brian take a look at your face! You need to get that burn treated. You can fight with the stupid machine later right now you’re going to the fuckin ER” he snapped as he and Dan finally managed to hold Brian back

Kevin took a closer look at Brian, a little worried now. He could see a look of unbridled rage bubbling behind Brian’s eyes and he knew his intent wasn’t to fight the coffee machine. Kevin also noticed an entire side of Brian’s face was bright red, the skin aggravated and starting to blister. ‘I didn’t know it was that bad!’ He thought, now wishing he had gone and checked on Brian ‘Dan said he was fine, but he was missing part of the story’

“Lads I swear to god if you don’t let me go right this second Craig won’t be the only one on my hit list” Brian all but growled before Dan spoke up

“Jesus Brian your face-“

“I know what fucking happened to my face!” He snapped “that DICKHEAD Craig chucked hot espresso all over it and me! An hes going to pay”

“Brian, Craig isn’t here! He got fired he left” Seán interrupted “and I told you to wait in my office so I could take you to the hospital”

Brian huffed. He began pacing between the office door and the counter muttering about Craig and something that Kevin couldn’t hear. Instead Seán gave Kevin an apologetic look and left to talk to the few remaining customers. All the lads knew in this state they wouldn’t get Brian to any sort of help if even one of them weren’t there. Dan went behind the counter and tried to calm Brian down and Daithi went and started closing up. Kevin finished his hot chocolate. Once he was done and put the mug away in the dirty dish pile he went to help Dan.

As he approached he heard Brian say “-all I said to him was that he was being creepy to that girl and that no one likes a pest with a creepy tone to women”

Dan nodded “so after that he threw coffee in your face?”

“Well he was making the latte for the poor girl he just spent five minutes harassing, so he took the cup of pure espresso and chucked it at my face!”

“I really think we oughta get to the urgent care or something” Kevin expressed “no offense but your face looks like the surface of Mars”

“Gee thanks Kevin” Brian rolled his eyes playfully “least I’m not the one with a chocolate mustache”

“It’s very in season!” Kevin laughed. Dan shook his head at their antics

“Alright Brian, scale of one to ten how much does it hurt?”

“My face feels like it’s been dunked in lava” he sighed, a lot calmer now “yeah urgent care? Or the hospital cause this really sucks”

Just then Seán and Daithi came up behind them, Seán spoke first “well shops all closed I can take you whenever you want”

“And we can go with you!” Kevin smiled “it’ll be like an outing with the lads, except it’s to the urgent care and the rest of us will probably have to sit in the car”

Brian chuckled “alright I’m ready whenever you are”. And with that they all piled into Seán’s car. Brian didn’t necessarily need them there but it had been quite a while since the gang was all together outside of work, and maybe he wanted to savor it. The whole way there they caught up with Kevin about how his life was going and how he was doing overall. Of course now that they all had roughly the same work schedule it would be much easier to get a game night set up or to do non-work related things.

Daithi was particularly interested in playing Pokémon with Dan as the new game had just come out and he hadn’t had the chance to play yet. Brian really wanted to play Mario Kart or maybe some more gmod but he couldn’t really decide. Seán was just happy they wouldn’t have to deal with Craig anymore and most of the ride was a full on bean spilling party as Seán and Kevin discovered more of the weird and honestly red flag behavior of this strange man. Some of which Kevin wished he hadn’t learned at al

By the time they got to the hospital Brian had become really quiet. Kevin thought it was because of the pain which was confirmed when Brian said his face felt even worse. Seán walked him into the hospital and the rest of the lads waited in the car. Kevin couldn’t stop looking around, Dan kept bouncing his leg and Daithi was being uncharacteristically silent. As the minutes passed by they could only hope no serious damage was done to their friend.

[lavendertales]

Hii! Can u do a jealous s3 javier peña one where reader is his partner and they've been dating for a while and Van Ness tries to flirt w her but javi's not having it🤭 x

Ohhhhh jealous and protective Javi is one of my absolute weaknesses 🤭

gif: @filmtv

Rules at the embassy might’ve been strict, but for someone as important as Javier, he managed to slither around the rules and bend them a little for you and him.

You’d been dating for a while and you made it well known to all of your colleagues and superiors. You and Javier discussed it previously and agreed that it was best to get it over with, “make it official”, as it were, and have every obstacle in the way removed. 

But naturally, not every obstacle can be removed. Or predicted, for that matter.

Daniel Van Ness was working below you and Javier, and he was a fairly good agent. He did the job and minded his business. So whatever influence he was under when he decided that flirting with you, in front of everyone, was a good idea, he needed to quit it.

Especially since Javier had an astounding reputation following him throughout both Colombia and the United States. He was recognized as one of the agents who took down Pablo Escobar, and his name was seemingly bedazzled with honorifics.

And he had a brilliant work ethic. It would’ve been only fair to assume that he had those same instincts over his work and life partner. 

But Daniel seemed to be set in his ways and search for means to lose his job or get knocked out. He shamelessly approached you at the office as you were reviewing the plans for the stakeout being planned that Friday, flashing a coy smile in your direction. You slowly shifted your eyes onto him, replying with a casual and polite smile instead.

“Hello there,” you greeted him, slightly confused.

“Hey, Y/N. You look very beautiful today. Very elegant and pretty.”

You frowned, confusion increasing steadily, but surely. “Thank you.”

When his gaze on you didn’t cease to exist, you turned more towards him, unsure if you should be amused or concerned. 

“Did you... need something?”

“How about we go for a drink after work, hmm?” he propositioned you.

“Why do I get the feeling this isn’t an amiable suggestion?”

“Depends.”

“On what, exactly?”

“On how you want it to end. Or where.”

You chuckled, full-on uncomfortable with the situation. “Look, Dan, I’m not interested. I appreciate it, but I’m off the market.”

He huffed in dismay. “What’s Peña got that I don’t?”

“You’d be surprised.”

The answer came from Javier himself. He sucked in his cheeks and stared Van Ness down in a way that allowed room for absolutely no counter argument or discussion. He was pissed, and the message was smeared all over his face and his body language.

You laid back over your desk, arms crossed at your chest, smiling. This is gonna be interesting, you laughed to yourself.

“I didn’t see you there, boss,” Van Ness tried to joke. 

“Next time you won’t get to see a single fucking thing if you come at Y/N again like that.”

Javier’s voice was dark, dominant and grave, easily asserting his higher position. Growling and putting his hands up, surrendering, Van Ness left, throwing one last glance at you. Javier made him increase his speed by making a fast movement at him, muttering a “Get the fuck out of here before I kick your fuckin’ ass” and returning to you.

“Let me know if he bothers you again,” he said, pecking your cheek.

“Don’t fight at the workplace, honey, that’s distasteful.”

“I’m gonna fire him, then kick his ass. How’s that?”

“Whatever floats your boat, baby,” you kissed him quickly on the lips, smirking.

Requests are open!

[tf-vigilante]

A better life

Hi guys ! After years of reading exciting stories from other authors, I decided to start writing by myself. English is not my native language so I'm sorry if I make mistakes. Feel free to comment, react and make suggestions for the future ! Any feedback is appreciated.

________________________________________________

My existence and my origins are a mystery. For most people I do not really exist... I think that I am more a power that has become consciousness by itself, an entity whose purpose is to transform, to make the world as it should be, or rather as I wish it to be. I am particularly powerful to transform men into what they deserve. I take pleasure in trapping them, punishing them by transforming them into another version of themselves. But not often the one they would like...

Will (on the left) and Dan (on the right) had decided to work out together at the local gym that evening. They had been buddies since high school and now in college theyr were the two kings of their little town. Popular and charismatic, they were also arrogant, disdainful, true bullies and terribly homophobic.

I watched, invisible and ethereal like a ghost, the two young men doing their workout. Then I followed them to their car, thinking about how to use my powers over them. With malice I took possession of the car radio to talk to them directly with a robotic voice.

Good evening gentlemen, I will now cancel your status as an oppressive alpha male in order to restore peace and balance in your environment.

“What the fuck is that ?” asked Dan while driving. 

“I fuckin dunno bro. “ answered Will. “I’ll turn it off !” He tried, in vain. 

You are not allowed to stop the process. I detect that most of your pride comes from your muscles and athletic habits... starting physical changes... starting reality adjustment...

Suddenly the two friends could feel a wave of weakness running through their bodies. With painful creaks, their bodies began to shrink, both in muscle and size. Years of gains form working out disappeared. I mischievously watched the biceps, abs and pecs diminish in volume. The muscles were deflating like balloons and the bones were cracking.

“What’s happening ? Dude stop the car !” The poor Will was looking at his now thin arms, horrified and on the verge of crying. Funny how it is easy to break strong and fearless boys with that simple change... 

“I... can’t... need to drive back home...” Dan was the dumbest of the two. I could force him to continue drving without breaking a sweat. I’m a nice spirit, his car seat came closer to the steering wheel by itself to allow him to drive even with his smaller body. Talking about the car, it also had to change. The boys were too focused on their bodies to realize that the car interior was also smaller to suit their future life. The loud black Jeep soon transformed into a cute blue Fiat 500. In the back of the car, the two gym bags vanished without a trace. In mere seconds, their sportswear changed into casual clothes, a simple t-shirt and jean shorts. Then I took a break in the changes for the rest of the drive back home, leaving them shocked, lost, screaming in fear for the loss of their precious pride...

20 minutes later, they arrived at Dan’s small flat. Will ran to the bathroom to see the damages in the mirror. I followed Dan in his living room / bedroom. It was a stereotypical jock room : messy with stuff and clothes everywhere. This wouldn’t do for my projects for them. I took control of the TV and turned it on. I appeared on the screen as a handsome news presenter

Tonight our guest is Daniel ! But I’m affraid he doesn't deserve any applause for his disgusting flat. I am committed to turning this into the perfect love nest. What do you think of that?

Terrified, Daniel unplugged the TV and my face disappeared from the screen, which turned black again. But the mischief was done, and soon the whole flat grew larger with extra rooms and much cleaner. Photos of the two young men appeared at some places. Fearing a mental breakdown of my two subjects, I instantly change their reality. They are now living together under the same roof. Daniel knew something was wrong. In his mind, a part of him was screaming to run, to flee before it was too late... But he couldn’t. 

Will came out from the bathroom, confused and demoralised. They looked into each other's eyes and the magic took effect. The two young men were captivated and mesmerized by this sight. Their homophobic personalities were fighting against new feelings for each other. Daniel suddenly felt the need the need to reassure his friend :

“I’m so sorry I don’t know... how to reverse this...” He was about to stop talking but words came by themselves “Babe come into my arms it will make you feel better...”

As they were getting closer and closer, I could feel their willingness to resist. Daniel was already asking himself why he called his buddy “Babe”. They were slowly starting to become a cute couple I told myself when they started cuddling. 

Their homophobic beliefs were infuriated and disgusted by this scene. But they were slowly fading, already in passenger seat of the boys’s life. I turned my attention more specifically to Will. He was the worst of the two in his previous life. I needed to make sure to break his spirit. In Daniel’s arms, Will or should I call him Willy now, started to feel more sumbmissive and dependent on Daniel. Before meeting them, him and Daniel were both 23 yo. I took 5 years of age from Willy to gave them to Daniel. Now Willy was 18 yo and Daniel 28. 

Willy was a teenager who just graduated from high school but he was madly in love with Daniel for a year already. He moved in with his boyfriend only last week. I gave Willy a beta male personality, seeking guidance, attention and security from his boyfriend. Daniel worked as a chef in a local restaurant now...

They kissed with fondness and passion for quite a while. I was proud of my first achievement with this cute couple. Willy moaned with pleasure when he felt his boyfriend’s beard stubble on his neck. 

“I will cook us a nice meal for dinner honey.” Said Daniel with kindness.

“Can I stay with you ? I love watching you cooking !” answered Willy with a much higher voice than before. Shrinking his adam apple was a nice addition for him. 

“Of course my little koala. Come here...” 

Willy then lowered his hand under his boyfriend’s underwear and started to jerking off the hairless dick. “Mmm a little Willy will have a tasty whipped cream for dessert...” continued Daniel with a sensual voice.

I left them at their new life. Some straight remnants in their minds were still fighting but they wouldn’t for long. I liked leaving them knowing that by my powers they became the kind of men they hated. But the world will be a better place with Daniel and Willy than with Dan and Will... 

[karsonisnot]

A New Family.

It has been about three months since tommy had gotten close to schlatt, Sam, and Charlie. Really the catalyst for all of this was Shalott breaking the news that he was, in fact, Tubbos father. 

During this time, they all moved in close together, and really got to know each other. Shlatt started his recovery from his addictions During all of this, and he became kinda like a father figure to them all surprisingly enough

He walked on the prime path, remembering the one time they were all at Schlatt's house while he was slightly drunk, giving life advice. In fact he was so in his own thoughts that he didn't see his actual father right in front of him.

"Tommy."

He looked up to see philza, staring him down. He was clearly not happy for some reason, and Tommy immediately got nervous.

"Uh… hi Phil. Whats… what's going on." He says, laughing nervously.

"What's going on is that I've heard your getting close to… certain people."

"Uhhh, okay? Why does it matt-"

"What's up with the pin?"

Tommy looked down at his red jacket, and looked at the tiny pin on it. Schlatt gave it to him, an exact copy of the little schlattcoin pin he sometimes wears on the collar of his shirts. 

"Oh yeah, the pin schlatt gave me."

"What the actual fuck, and your wearing it?!"

Tommy looked at his father, who had gotten slightly closer.

"I...I mean yeah? He's actually pretty chill n-"

"HES A FUCKING POLITCAL TERRORIST."

"Wha- hes a nice guy now, whats ur fuckin issue man?!"

Philza got even closer, too close for comfort. Tommy Tommy gave a slight side glance just to break eye contact, but swore he saw someone move in the shadows, making him more nervous.

"I don't want you to be around him." Philza said, coldly.

"Wh-what? No. Why do you even fucking care, you haven't even had a conversation with me in fuckin months?!"

"Because he's dangerous!!"

"Excuse me?! You fuckin blew up a country with me in it, don't talk to me about dan-"

He was cut off the image of a man with long pink hair jumping from a tree. He hadn't even realized techno was even there. Before he could react though, wilbur was at his side, with a fucking knife.

"What the absolute fuck is happening." Tommy said, backing up.

"Toms. If your a friend of schlatt, your an enemy of us." Philza said.

Tommy was stunned. Yes his family had been complete assholes to him, but to kill him? Not only that, their motivations fucking sucked.

"What, fucking why! I haven't even seen you in forever. I don't even want any beef anymore!"

"Well, can't have beef if you're dead." Techno said, and then charged.

Tommy dove out of the way, not ready for a fight. Techno turned on his heels, running towards him. He also heard what was most likely wilbur behind him. He was dead.

But, all of a sudden, techno got knocked in the head by a bottle, so hard it broke.

Tommy didn't have time to see who it was, and rolled out of the way of a knife coming down on him. Tommy saw the knife hit the ground and heard wilbur cuss loudly, immediately before he heard a voice behind him.

"Don't move wilbur."

He looked in the direction of the voice, to see Sam standing there, aiming a bow directly at wil. He looked in the direction where techno got hit, and saw jschlatt. And techno very much about to overpower him. 

Seemingly out of nowhere, Charlie appeared, and hit techno with an arrow. Causing him to back off. Immediately Tommy noticed that techno wasn't wearing any armour for some reason. Maybe thought it was going to be an easy fight. 

"What the absolute fuck do you three think your fucking doing?!" Schlatt said, holding the broken jack Daniels bottle. 

"Well, this is interesting." Phil said, being protected by techno.

"Tommy. What prompted this." Sam said, still concentrating on wilbur.

"I don't know! I just… they… they fucking jumped me… for making friends with schlatt."

All of a sudden, schlatt looked at phil, gripping the bottle tighter.

"You motherfucker." 

"Right, because you're the upholder of morals yourself, schlatt." Phil responded.

"At least I'm not ambushing my own son in the middle of the night for existing."

Sam all of a sudden, sam let the string of the bow go, hitting Wilbur in the head, instantly killing him. And reloaded, pointing at philza.

"Give me one reason not to shoot you right now, and leave techno to get beat to death by a bottle."

"Well, because then you'll be killing Tommy's precious family."

All of a sudden, rage fumed in tommy. He realized something after that sentence. And being with this group of people after the past three months, he felt less… alone. He felt at home. Like… like… he has a family. And for Philza to use the blood he was born into against him. He… he felt attacked.

"Your not fucking precious to me at all you bitch."

"What the fuck are you-"

"NO, YOU LISTEN TO ME FUCKER." Tommy raged at Philza's backlash. "You… you have caused me nothing but pain. You have been nothing but against me since the beginning. You've… you've been the worst father ever. Blowing up the country I care about, making me feel small, being a bitch to me. Im… done with it. I'm done with you. I'm done with all of you. I never want you in my life again."

"Tommy, don't be irrational. Where else are going to go to… were your fucking family." Philza said, backing up a tiny bit.

"No. Fuck no. You were never my family. In fact, I don't need you a lot at all. In fact, schlatt

… schlatt has been more of a dad to me then you ever were in the last three months. And unlike techno and wilbur, sam and Charlie have only ever come to my defense and have been… been like brothers to me. If I dare say it… they are my family now. Hell, they are always here for me! While you've done nothing but… but neglect me."

Philza stood stunned. Techno lowered his sword. 

"Im… did… did you really just disown… us?! Philza said, now shaky. 

"Yes… yes I did."

They all went silent for a second. Charlie now at schlatters side, who was looking at tommy, slightly shocked. Sam still trained on the older man behind techno. 

"You should leave." Charlie said, finally speaking.

"Yeah. Or i'll put an arrow between your eyes." Sam said. 

Techno looked at Philza, who only nodded, and they both took off, knowing this wasn't a fight worth getting into with their current lack of gear.

Sam lowered his bow, and walked towards tommy. Schlatt and Charlie both lowered their defenses, Schlatt dropping the bottle. 

"Tommy… im." Schlatt said, walking towards him.

"I know… i probably messed up… im sorry, I shouldn't have said yall were my… family."

"What, no. Don't be ridiculous." Schlatt said, pulling Tommy into a hug. "You're always welcome into my home… my family."

All of a sudden, Tommy felt a sudden relief… and… happiness.

"Hell, you two, get your asses over here." He motioned to Charlie and Sam, while still holding Tommy in a half hug.

Charlie and Sam stood next to them, Charlie standing on schlatters side, getting slatts free arm around his shoulder. Sam on Tommy's side, getting schlatters hand halfway on his shoulder.

"You know what. I have an actual son, tubbo. However, I am aware that all of you don't really have a family, and you wanna know that, that isn't fair. I've seen how you three get along, and I can see the brotherly bond you all have. After tonight, I feel like maybe, just maybe, it's time to expand my family a little bit. So how about this. I'm your new dad. Even if it's not official, I can and will always be here for you. Like a father should. And I have no doubt in my mind after tonight that you will be like brothers to each other."

"...you know what, hell yes." Charlie said. "I am 100% in."

"Fuck yeah brother, I am so in." Sam said.

"So… what do you say tommy, are we your new family… dare I say your new SBI?"

Tommy looked at Schlatt, already knowing his answer.

"Absolutely. Let's fuckin do this."

Sam took Tommy into a headlock out of excitement. After he let go, and they all had their laugh and little celebration, they made their way back to their houses. The new family, ready to face whatever may come.

[betterdaysareatoenailaway]

RANDOM REVIEW #2: ANY GIVEN SUNDAY (1999)

“This game has got to be about more than winning. You’re part of something.”  Any Given Sunday (1999), directed by Oliver Stone and featuring Jamie Foxx, Dennis Quaid, Cameron Diaz, Al Pacino, LL Cool J, James Woods, and Matthew Modine, is my favourite sports movie of all time. Of all time.

I’m not betraying my favourite sport by saying this. The Mighty Ducks is a kid’s movie. It’s okay, but it’s not a timeless classic. I don’t like the Slap Shot series, Sudden Death is fun but silly, and the Goon movies were a missed opportunity. The only truly good scene in Goon is the diner scene where Liev Schreiber tells Seann William Scott: “Don’t go trying to be a hockey player. You’ll get your heart ripped out.”

  Such is the sad circumstance of the hockey enforcer. They all want to play, not just fight. Here’s a link to a video in which the most feared fighter in the history of the NHL, Bob Probert, explains that he wanted to be “an offensive threat...like Bobby Orr,” not a fighter: https://youtu.be/4sbxejbMH4g?t=118 Heartbreaking. But not unusual.

Donald Brashear, Marty McSorley, Tie Domi, Stu “The Grim Reaper” Grimson, Frazer McLaren: they all had hockey skills. But they were told they had to fight to remain on the roster, so they fought. As Schreiber says in the film: “You know they just want you to bleed, right?”  If the players don’t bleed, they don’t get to stay on the team. So they fight, and they pay dearly for it later. Many former fighters have CTE or other head injuries that make day-to-day life difficult. The makers of Goon should have taken that scene and run with it. I was so disappointed they didn’t, especially given what happened right around the time the film came out, with the tragic suicides of Wade Belak, Derek Boogaard, and Rick Rypien, all enforcers, all dead in a single summer. So Hollywood hasn’t even made a good hockey movie, let alone a great one. Baseball has a shitload of good films, probably because the slower pace of play makes it easier to film. Moneyball has a terrific home run scene, Rookie of the Year does too. Angels in the Outfield was a big favourite of mine when I was a kid, plus all the Major League films, and Bull Durham. 

Football has two good movies: The Program (1993) and Rudy (1993).    

And football has one masterpiece. The one I am writing about today.

A young Oliver Stone trying not to die in Vietnam. ^ Now, I know Stone is laughed at these days, given his nutty conspiracy theories and shitty behaviour and the marked decline in the quality of his films (although 2012’s Savages was underrated). I know Stone is about as subtle as a sledgehammer, but do you want a football movie to be subtle? Baseball, sure. It’s a game of fine distinctions, but football? Football is war. And war is about steamrolling the enemy, distinctions be damned, which is why Any Given Sunday is such an amazing sports film. I love the way it shows the dark side of football. In fact, the film is so dark that the NFL withdrew their support and cooperation, forcing Stone to create a fictitious league and team to portray what he wanted to portray.

This is not to say the movie is fresh or original. Quite the opposite. Any Given Sunday has every single sports film cliché you can think of. But precisely because it tries to stuff every single cliché into its runtime, the finished product is not a cliched mess so much as a rich tapestry, a dense cinema verite depiction of the dizzying highs and depressing lows of a professional sports team as it wins, loses, parties, and staggers its way through a difficult season.  Cliché #1: The aging quarterback playing his final year, trying to win one last championship. (Dennis Quaid) 

Sample dialog: Dennis Quaid (lying in a hospital bed severely injured): Don’t give up on me coach. Al Pacino: You’re like a son to me. I’ll never give up on you. ^ I know this sounds awful. But it’s actually fuckin’ great. Cliché #2: The arrogant upstart new player who likes hip hop and won’t respect the old regime. (Jamie Foxx) 

Cliché #3: The walking wounded veteran who could die if he gets hit one more time. Coincidentally, he needs just one more tackle to make his million-dollar bonus for the season. (Lawrence Taylor) 

Cliché #4: The female executive in a man’s world who must assert herself aggressively in order to win the grudging respect of her knuckle-dragging male colleagues (Cameron Diaz). Diaz is fantastic in the role, though she should have had more screen time, given that the main conflict in the film is very much about the new generation, as represented by her and Jamie Foxx, trying to replace the old generation, represented by Al Pacino, Dennis Quaid, Jim Brown, and Lawrence Taylor. Some people think Diaz’s character is too calculating, but here’s the thing: she’s right. Too many sports GMs shell out millions for the player an individual used to be, not the player he presently is. “I am not resigning a 39-year old QB, no matter how good he was,” she tells Pacino’s coach character, and you know what? She’s right. The Leafs’ David Clarkson signing is proof positive of the perils of signing a player based on past performance, not current capability. Diaz’s character is the living embodiment of the question: do you want to win, or do you want to be loyal? Cuz sometimes you can’t do both.

Cliché #5: The team doctor who won’t sacrifice his ethics for the good of the team (Matthew Modine).

Cliché #6: The team doctor who will sacrifice his ethics for the good of the team (James Woods) 

Cliché #7: The grizzled, thrice-divorced coach who has sacrificed everything for his football team, to the detriment of his social and familial life, who must give a stirring speech at some point in the film (Al Pacino…who goes out there and gives the all-time greatest sports movie “we must win this game” speech) 

Cliché #8: The assistant or associate coach who takes a parental interest in his players, playing the good cop to the head coach’s bad cop (former NFL star Jim Brown). 

Best quote: “Who wants to be thinking about blitzes and crossblocks when you’re holding your grandkids in your arms? That’s why I wanna coach high school. Kids don’t know nothing. They just wanna play.” 

Cliché #9: The player who can’t stop doing drugs (L.L. Cool J).

Okay, so the first thing that needs to be talked about is Al Pacino’s legendary locker room speech.  Now, it’s the coach’s job to rile up and inspire the players. But eloquence alone won’t do it. If you use certain big words, you lose them (remember Brian Burke being endlessly mocked by the Toronto media for using the word “truculent?”). The coach must deliver the message in a language the players understand, while still making victory sound lofty and aspirational. This is not an easy thing to accomplish. One of my favourite inspirational lines was spoken by “Iron” Mike Keenan to the New York Rangers before Game 7 against the Vancouver Canucks in 1994. “Win tonight, and we’ll walk together forever.” Oooh that’s gorgeous. But Pacino’s speech is right up there with it. 

“You know, when you get old in life…things get taken from you. That’s parta life. But you only learn that when you start losin’ stuff. You find out…life’s this game of inches. So’s football. In either game – life or football – the margin for error is so small. I mean…one half a step too late or too early and you don’t quite make it…one half second too slow, too fast, you don’t quite catch it. The inches we need are everywhere around us. They’re in every break of the game, every minute, every second. On this team, we fight for that inch. We claw with our fingernails for that inch. Because we know when we add up all those inches that’s gonna make the fuckin difference between winnin’ and losin’! Between livin’ and dyin’!” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_iKg7nutNY  Somehow, against all odds, Any Given Sunday succeeds. It is the Cinderella run of sports movies. You root for the film as you watch it. The dressing room scenes are incredible…the Black players listen to the newest hip hop while a trio of lunkhead white dudes headbang and scream “Hetfield is God.” There is a shower scene where a linebacker, tired of being teased about the size of his penis, tosses his pet alligator into the showers where it terrorizes his tormentors. There is a scene where a halfback has horrible diarrhea, but he’s hooked up to an IV so the doctor (Matthew Modine) has to follow him into the toilet cubicle, crinkling his nose as the player evacuates his bowels. There is a scene where someone loses an eye (the only scene in the film where Stone’s over-the-top approach misses the mark). There are scenes that discuss concussions (which is why the NFL refused to cooperate for the film), where Lawrence Taylor has to sign a waiver absolving the team of responsibility if he is hurt or paralyzed or killed. I wonder how purists and old school football fans reacted to the news that Oliver Stone was making a football film. If they even knew who he was (not totally unlikely…Stone made a string of jingoistic war movies in the 1980s) they probably thought the heavy hands of Oliver would ruin the film, take the poetry out of every play. But the actual football is filmed perfectly. The camera gets nice and low for the tackles. It flies the arcs of perfect spiral passes. It shows the chaos of a defensive line barreling down the field. When Al Pacino asked quarterback Dan Marino (fresh off his own Hollywood experience acting in Ace Ventura: Pet Detective) what it was like to be an NFL QB, Marino said: “Imagine standing on a highway with traffic roaring at you while trying to read Hamlet.” A great explanation. Shoulda made the movie. So the football itself is fabulously done. Much better than what Cameron Crowe did in the few football scenes in Jerry Maguire. The Program had some great football, as did Rudy, but neither come close to the heights of Any Given Sunday. In one of the film’s best scenes, Jamie Foxx insists that his white coaches have routinely placed him in situations where he was doomed to fail or prone to injury, and we believe him because white coaches have been doing that to Black players for decades. Quarterback Doug Williams, who led his Washington Redskins team to a Superbowl victory in 1987, was frequently referred to by even liberal media outlets as a “Black quarterback,” instead of just “quarterback,” as if his skin colour necessitated a qualification. Even now, in 2021, the majority of quarterbacks are white, although the gap is gradually closing. The 2020 season saw the highest number of starting Black quarterbacks, with 10 out of a possible 32.  Quarterback is the most cerebral position on the field, and for a long time there was a racist belief that Black men couldn’t do the job. Foxx’s character is a composite of many of the different Black quarterbacks who came of age in the 1990s, fighting for playing time against white QBs beloved by their fan base, fawned over in hagiographic Sports Illustrated profiles, and protected by the good ol’ boys club of team executives and coaching staff. Foxx’s character isn’t demoted because he can’t play the game. He wins several crucial games for his team en route to the playoffs. He’s demoted because he listens to hip hop in the dressing room, because he recorded a rap song and shot a video for it, and because he’s cocky. Yes, the scene where he asks out Cameron Diaz is sexist, as if her power only comes from her sexuality, not her intelligence and business acumen, but it’s meant to show how overly confident Foxx is, not that he’s a sexist prick. Any Given Sunday isn’t a single issue film. It’s basically an omni-protest piece. It gleefully shows football’s dark side, and there is no director better than Oliver Stone for muck-raking. He’s in full-on investigative journalist mode in Any Given Sunday, showing how and why players play through serious brain injuries. How because they are given opiates, often leading to debilitating addictions (this happens in all contact sports...Colorado Avalanche player Marek Svatos overdosed on heroin a few years after retiring from injuries). As to why, Stone gives two reasons. One, team doctors are paid by the team, not the players, therefore their decisions will benefit the team, not the players. And two, the players themselves are encouraged to underreport injuries and play through them because stats are incentivized. James Woods unethical doctor argues with Modine’s idealistic one because an MRI the latter called for a player to have costs the team $20k. But the player in question, Lawrence Taylor, plays anyway because his contract is stat incentivized and if he makes on more tackle he gets a million dollars. Incentivizing stats leads to players playing hurt. And although I loathe this term, a lazy go-to for film critics, Stone really does give an unflinching account of how this shit happens and why. When Williams is inevitably hurt and lying prone on the field, he woozily warns the paramedics who are placing him on a stretcher to “be careful…I’m worth a million dollars.” It’s tragic, yet you’re happy for him. The film really makes you care about these guys.  Thanks to the smartly written script, the viewer knows that Williams has four kids, and you’re pleased he made his bonus because, in all likelihood, after he retires, his injuries will prevent him from any kind of gainful employment (naturally, they give the TV analyst jobs to retired white players, unless Williams can somehow land the coveted token Black guy gig). Stone is not above fan service, a populist at heart, and he stuffs the film with former and then-current NFL players, a miraculous stunt given the fact that the NFL revoked their cooperation. Personally, I think this was a good thing because it meant Stone didn’t have to compromise (the league wanted editorial say on all issues pertaining to the league…meaning they would have cut the best storyline, which is the playing hurt one). It also meant that they had to rename the team and the league. While I’m sure this took away from the realism for some fans, I’m cool with it. It also allowed the moviemakers to name the team the Sharks, a perfect name for this roving band of predatory capitalist sports executives. In another example of fan service, the call-girl Pacino’s quintessential lonely workaholic character rents a girlfriend experience from is none other than Elizabeth Berkley of Showgirls, who had been unfairly blacklisted after the titular Verhoven/Esterhaz venture, a movie my wife showed me one day while I was dopesick, which I became so transfixed and mesmerized by that I forgot I was. As mentioned above, the only misstep in the film is one of the offshoots of the Playing Hurt arc, where a player loses an eye on the field. Not because he gets poked, but because he gets hit so hard his eye simply falls out. A medic runs onto the field and puts the white globe on ice. Stone cast a player with a glass eye in order to achieve this effect. No CGI! Still, the scene is unconvincing, a tad too over-the-top. But this is Oliver Stone. At least Any Given Sunday’s sole over-the-top moment is a throwaway scene lasting all of thirty seconds. It easily could have been a secondary plot-line in which government officials try to sneak a Cuban football prodigy out of Castro’s communist stronghold but the player is brutally murdered the morning the officials arrive at his apartment to escort him to the private plane. Or else the team GM is revealed to be a massive international cocaine dealer. Or the tight end is one half of a serial killer couple. The film follows its own advice, focusing more on the players growth, particularly Beamon’s (Foxx). The anonymity of the title, Any Given Sunday, elevates the game, not the players. Thank God, the movie doesn’t force Beamon to assimilate into Pacino’s mold. He buys into the team-first philosophy without renouncing his idiosyncratic POV or his fierce individuality. This is a triumph. One of my biggest problems with sports is the flattening effect it can have on creative individuals. Players take media training in order to sound as alike as possible during media interviews, a long row of stoic giants spouting cliches. It’s boring. Which is why media latch onto a loudmouth, even while they scold him for it. All sports are dying for an intelligent mouthpiece who can explain his motivations in a succinct, sound-bite-friendly, manner. Sports are entertainment. As much as I love Sidney Crosby, in my heart I have to go with Alexander Ovechkin because Ovechkin is far more thrilling, both on and off the ice. Unlike almost every other NHL star before him, all of whom were forced to kneel and kiss Don Cherry’s Rock Em Sock Em ring, Ovechkin defiantly told the media he simply did not care about Cherry or Cherry’s disgusting parental reaction to one of Ovie’s more creative goal celebrations (called a “celly” in the biz). On the play in question, Ovechkin scored the goal, then dropped his stick and mimed warming his hands over it, as if his stick were on fire. As cheesy as the celebration appeared to the naked eye, it’s both a funny and accurate notion. Ovechkin was the hottest scorer in the league for many years and his stick was on fire, metaphorically speaking. The only celly I can think of that matches up in terms of creativity and entertainment value came from Teemu Selanne in 1993, who scored a beauty of a goal, threw one of his gloves straight up into the air, then pumped his stick like a shotgun while “shooting” his glove. Of course, Cherry took exception to it. Cherry’s favourite goal celebration features Bobby Orr putting his head down and refraining from raising his hands over his head. Cherry’s idea of an appropriate goal celly is no celly at all. This from a man who claims “we’ve got to sell our game.” But when an arrogant player shows up and he’s not white, he’s in for a shitload of bad press. Foxx’s Beamon illustrates this beautifully when he yells at Pacino after Pacino cuts him for an older QB who has lost four games this season. “Don’t play that racism card with me,” Pacino warns. “Okay…okay…” Foxx nods, “Maybe it’s not racism. Maybe it’s ‘placism’…as in…a brother got to know his place.”

Here is the original theatrical trailer, featuring Garbage’s classic “Push It.”

Above Lawrence Taylor begs Matthew Modine for Cortazone.  There’s also a great scene where Pacino is trying to figure out where he has gone wrong and Diaz just looks at him. “You got old,” she says simply. No enterprise is more cruel to an aging human being than sports. And this movie makes football a big giant corporate machine that chews players up and spits them out, injured and drug addicted, after four or five years. Those who play for a decade are lucky. This is still how the NFL works. And the NHL is increasingly becoming a young man’s game. Experience matters less and less.

When I started watching hockey in the 90s, players regularly competed into their late 30s. Not so anymore. Players peak at 23-24 now, and are often out of the league by age 35. Thornton and Chelois are exceptions, not the rule. After more than two hours, Any Given Sunday finally lurches across the finish line, bravely refusing to give its viewers a traditional happy ending, in the great tradition of underdog sports films like Rocky and Rudy. The bombshell dropped by Pacino’s character at the end feels less surprising than inevitable, but by now the movie has explored so much of professional sports' seedy underbelly that you're glad it's over. The film is great but exhausting. Stone seems to be advancing the notion that the sport itself is pure, but the people in it are corrupt. If money weren’t involved, the game would be played for its own sake.

I agree with this. People playing pond hockey are engaging in wholesome fun, not necessarily practicing to make a professional league. Commerce corrupts the purity of the game, and the extent to which it corrupts is directly proportional to how badly the individual in question needs the commerce. Of course, the sport is highly racialized, with people in positions of authority white, and those being told what to do with their bodies Black.

Any Given Sunday is an important film, but it never sacrifices entertainment for the sake of moralizing. That it pulls off such a strong moralistic stance is a testament to the actors, who are all incredible, and the material, which is among the strongest of Stone’s career.

He never really made a great movie after this one. So check it out sometime.

[inkrabbit]

A Day at the Beach - Dan x Richard

I don't wanna talk about this. It's currently 3:20am and I was talking about this pairing in my little group chat. It's shit, because it wasn't planned at all and I'm tired, but here we are. Y'all aren't getting a summary, either.

Word count: 3,034

Mersea Island, Essex

It had been a long time coming, operatives saying how they wanted to go an actual beach and maybe spend the night. Anything to get away from the chaos in London, saying they all needed a vacation of some sort. Of course there were some operatives who were reluctant to agree to the idea, saying they didn't feel comfortable leaving when there was still so much to do, but they finally came around when harassed enough, agreeing to spending one night before they had to come back home.

So here Richard sat in the back seat of the car Lorcan had “borrowed”, music blaring and the man spouting outrageous tales. He see Dan in the passenger seat, a smile on his face as he shakes his head. He's entertaining his friend's stories, and also glancing down at his phone to make sure they're still on the right track to the beach.

“She fuckin' made boxty and then threw it at me!” The time Richard tunes in, he's completely lost, brows furrowing as he catches the end of the statement. Boxty? He catches Dan laughing, and he can even see Jeremy's lips curl into a smile, the younger man having been seated on the other side of the car.

“Did you still eat it?” Eat it? He wondered what kind of food it was. Maybe it was just an Irish thing?

“Of course I ate it! Not gonna let that go to waste!” He knew this was going to be an adventure in itself. He had seen Lorcan's energy in the safehouse more times than he could count, the man always pestering someone and trying to find a drinking buddy.

He could never really forget the first time the older man had approached him, a friendly smile on his face as he started a conversation. Nothing too big, just asking how he was settling in with the group and if he had any problems. Even if Richard had any sort of bad blood with the other operatives, he wouldn't make it known. But when the Irishman had offered him to go drinking, he nearly choked on his coffee. It had been so long since someone had left him speechless, and his hesitation was enough for Dan to walk over and shoo his friend away. He told Richard to ignore him, that Lorcan's innocent little invitation was more trouble than it was worth considering the man would get lost easily when drunk and wander off like a child. Richard would never admit it, but a small part of him actually liked the idea of spending time with DedSec.

Maybe that's why he was here now, stuck in a car with the group's trio and headed for the beach. Back then, he would've cringed at the thought of being seen with any of the operatives, but now? Well, it wasn't so bad. He supposed they grew on him, their friendly banter and family-like connection. Did he long for that normal lifestyle? Where he had people he felt like he could finally confide in and converse with? Or perhaps he just his old life before Zero-Day and DedSec came into the picture, working his job at SIRS and indulging in the odd party Emma Child threw, though it was normally all business. Emma... He had tried to forget her name and her existence, a pang of guilt always cementing itself in the pit of his stomach. Back then, he believed what he was doing was right, and to this day he still did. But did he have to go that far?

The rest of the drive to the beach is filled with stories from the other men. Lorcan tries asking Richard for some stories of his own, but he declines. What would he tell them, anyway? His mind drew a blank when the request left the man's lips anyway. He tries to listen to the chatter now, wanting something else to focus on while they got closer to their destination. Lorcan spoke of mischief he got into when he was younger, and Dan shares his own story of being picked up by the police trying to hotwire a car. He notices how Jeremy stays quiet, and when one of the men ask him why, he simply tells them. “Didn't have the happiest childhood. I stayed alone.” Fair enough. Richard found himself actually understanding. After his father's passing, he threw any sort of social life out the window and locked himself in his room.

When the car finally stops, the sun is high in the sky and Richard is stretching his limbs, feeling his joints pop. It felt good to stretch, and the cool breeze coming from the ocean was heavenly. It had been so long since he had been here. The last time he had gone to a beach was with coworkers who had suckered him in to tagging along. It was funny how history repeats itself, but could he even call DedSec his coworkers? He supposed so, he did work alongside them ever since they had released him from that makeshift cell. Seeing everyone exit the cars, bringing out coolers and everything else is a pleasant sight. It's almost surreal. After everything that's happened, the group finally looks... normal.

He follows them to down to the sand, everyone picking out a spot and laying down their towels. Franklin had been nice enough to set Richard up with his own little spot, just a bit away from everyone else. He appreciated it. The group had made him a tiny bit nervous, still worried they would eventually snap and lash out at him. He takes a seat on the towel, legs crossed as he watches the others. Some are starting up a game of volleyball, while others are making their way into the water. He notices some of the operatives stay behind. He can see Franklin and Edmund chatting away, occasionally sharing a small kiss or nuzzling the other's cheek. It wasn't often he saw people so affectionate with one another, especially in the group.

A little farther away, however, he can see Dan sitting on a towel, legs crossed and hunched over a book. It's a surprise, to say the least. The once cheerful face is replaced with nothing, the stoic expression seeming so foreign. Glancing back at the ocean, he can see Lorcan picking up Jeremy and tossing him back into the water. He assumed Dan would've joined them, or at the very least, Jeremy would've been the one sitting out.

He spends the day relaxing, finally laying down on the towel and basking in the warmth of the sun, the cool breeze occasionally sending a shiver up his spine. He wonders what the little beach cottages will look like inside. He knew some operatives had grouped together to save money. He wasn't exactly sure who he would be staying with, having stayed out of the conversation and assuming he wouldn't even accompany the group at all. Maybe he would ask when time drew near?

Some operatives had come up to check on him, and Rebecca had even invited him to play volleyball with them. It was sweet that they tried to include him, but he declined. He still felt awkward partaking in activities with them, weary tension thick around the group (or was that all just in his mind?). He still watches them, however, taking this time to get to know their quirks. The way they move, how they each have a unique look while concentrating. It was amazing how they all seemed more open when they weren't cramped in the safehouse.

As the sun slowly starts going down, he agrees to help Dan make a bonfire. He had collected the stones, forming a decently large circle and using the wood brought back. Lorcan had become antsy, pouring some whiskey onto the wood and using his lighter to start the fire. It wasn't something Richard would do in a thousand years, but it had worked and warm air made him feel better. He sits in the sand with his legs propped up, elbows resting on his knees as he takes in the soft chatter of the group. They're all telling stories, ranging from jobs they've done to crazy antics they've gotten up to in the past. Franklin tells them some tales from Albion, while Edmund settles on a fight he had somehow won after taking to tabs of acid. Richard zones out here and there, focused on the fire and crackling wood. He almost doesn't realize how long they've been sitting there until a chill runs up his spine and a few operatives are saying goodnight. He joins in in wishing them farewell, and finally pays attention to the rest of the stories told.

One by one, the group around the bonfire slowly dwindles as people retire for the night. By the time the moon's high in the sky and the air's becoming more chilly, Richard is only left with the Irishmen. He had seen Jeremy's head droop here and there, eyes lidded as he listened to Lorcan's drunken rambling. It's not long until the younger man is finally standing up, stretching his limbs and saying goodnight to the three. Lorcan follows right after, whining about how he didn't want to be locked out for the night. He assumed the two were sharing the same cottage.

His eyes flicker to Dan. He hadn't been as talkative as he was in the car, staring into the fire and only occasionally joining in the conversation. The silence is almost deafening between them. For some reason, it felt odd. Had he gotten used to the chatter of the group?

“What were you reading?” Richard finally asks, catching the man's attention. He looks at him, just for a bit, until he raises the book and shows him the cover. The Ghost Map. Ah, some London history. He smiles at it. “Didn't know you read.”

“Little hobby I picked up,” he responds, setting the book back down. “What about you? You read?”

“Here and there. I've always been busy with work,” he confesses. When was the last time he had actually finished a book? He couldn't remember. “Was that your plan? Just to read?”

“Ah, pretty much. Not feelin' too energetic today.”

“I assumed you would've been swimming the others,” This pulls a reaction from the man. He lowers his gaze, hazel eyes staring at the fire.

“Don't really like the others seein' me scars,” Richard raises his eyebrows at this. He wasn't aware of any scars, never seeing any on the man. Then again, he normally walked around with a jacket on, and he even wore a shirt all day while out. “Don't like seein' 'em meself. Just brings up bad memories.”

“How did you get them?” He regrets it as soon as the question leaves his mouth, but Dan doesn't give him a chance to take it back.

“Prison, mostly,” he confesses, “Some from the army, but only a couple.”

Right, he was still on parole if he remembered correctly. He had skimmed through Dan's file, curious about the headstrong man, but he didn't want to admit it. He swallows thickly, but curiosity gets the better of him.

“Why? I mean, why be sent to prison?” There's a pause, but it doesn't last long.

“Beat the shite out of my lieutenant,” Well he wasn't hiding anything, that was for sure. He wasn't sugarcoating it either. “Nearly killed him. Then while in prison, I ended up killing an inmate for bein' a cunt.”

“And that added on to your sentence?”

“Aye, by a year. Used to read all the time after they moved me. Fought so many people there they had to keep me by meself.”

“Christ, you were that bad?”

“Sometimes it was to defend meself, sometimes I was defending someone else. Hated the fucks who picked on smaller inmates.”

“You... really protected other inmates?”

“'Course. 'S why I protect London. I'm just... happier doin' this.”

Well, he hadn't expected that. He never really considered why Dan had fought so much, but he managed to get some stories out of him. Abusive childhood with a father who didn't accept his youngest son. He supposed Dan had just gotten into the habit of protecting his younger brother from their father. He couldn't say he shared the same experience, but he does finally tell his own stories. A neglectful and overbearing mother, how he had lost his father at a young age and hid away from the world. He even tells him about his own time in the navy, and the man looks surprised when he mentions his own prison sentence.

He's not sure when, but the two of them have finally moved closer together, knees brushing against each other as the fire finally dwindles out. It felt nice to talk, and he was pleasantly surprised at how open Dan was. Any question he asked him, the man would answer with no hesitation. What books he read, what music he listened to, how well he did in school, anything he could think of. In return, Dan would ask him questions as well. What the navy was like, if he truly liked SIRS, what he went to college for. He had hesitated at first, but after a few questions, he finally felt relaxed enough to answer without having to think so hard.

When he finally starts to yawn, the two agree to go to bed. Putting out the fire, they walk across the beach, Dan confessing they would be sharing a cottage together. Apparently the group had agreed both would do well together, seeming to have a mutual want for their own space. The inside is nice and cozy, and Richard decides to let Dan take a shower first. He sits down on the bed, rubbing his eyes and stretching. It wasn't an eventual day, but he would admit it was nice to get out of the safehouse. He had been trapped in there, even after his release, sleeping awkwardly on the couch. He was honestly excited to finally sleep in a normal bed.

Richard's almost surprised when Dan exits the bathroom, his shirt gone and his scars showing. Some were older than others, and he was surprised when he noticed a scar in almost the exact same spot he had one. On the left side of his torso, just missing any organs. Dan doesn't even look in his general direction as he runs the towel through his hair in an attempt to dry it. Standing up, he decides to leave him on his own and take his own shower.

The steam hits him and sends a shiver up his spine. The water in the shower is still warm as his feet make contact with the droplets, hand gripping the silver lever and twisting. The water feels amazing, and he takes just a bit longer than normal as he relishes in it. The silence, the warmth, the feeling of the water hitting his skin. For the first time in a while, he finally feels truly relaxed, his eyes slipping shut. The only thing that makes him move in the exhaustion that finally hits.

Turning off the water, he steps out of the shower, drying himself off. He buries his face in the towel for a bit, his mind buzzing. It was all still so surreal. He felt like any moment he would wake up from a dream, still trapped in his cell with no way out. Looking up, he's almost relieved to still see the bathroom door in front of him. He runs his hand through his hair in an attempt to smooth it out after he's finished getting dressed. Setting the towel on the counter, he flicks off the lights and opens the door. To his surprise, Dan is already laying in bed and fast asleep. He tries to be as quiet as he can as he walks over, admiring the man in the dim light. His arm is hanging out of the blankets, his face in a slight scowl. Slowly reaching out, he runs a hand through the man's damp hair, watching his features relax. It amazed him at how similar they were, at least with their past. Pulling back, he crosses over and sit on the edge of his bed, rubbing his face with his hands.

“You ever touch me without me permission again,” Dan suddenly grumbles out, “and I'll break your fuckin' hand.”

“Oh, stop being a child,” he scoffs, though a small smirk crosses his lips. “I'm sure that's the first time in a while you've gotten any sort of affection anyway.”

There's shuffling and Dan finally sits up, staring at him. There's a look in his eyes, challenging and confident.

“Ya wanna touch me so bad?” he purrs out, “Come and give me a kiss.”

He's stunned, throat running dry as the Irishman holds his gaze. He's grinning, but it's not joy. Oh no, he's grinning because he thinks Richard is going back down. And he might have if he still wasn't upset with the attitude he had to endure during their meetings before Zero-Day was stopped. No way in hell he would let the man have something else to bring up.

Pushing himself off the bed, he crosses over once more. His actions are quick, worried if he took his time, he would change his mind. He grabs the man's face, fingers running through his beard as he bends down, pressing his lips against his. It doesn't last long before both pull away, and Richard laughs at the horrified expression on Dan's face.

“I'm not one to turn down a challenge,” he tells him softly, patting his cheek before returning to his bed. He slips underneath the covers and lays on his side, listening to the soft rustling noises. He's not expecting it when Dan finally gets up, grabbing his shoulder and turning him over.

“Ya wanna fuckin' kiss me, at least do it right, ya idiot.”

[introducingmiggymackerel]

Finished my first KFAM relisten last night and I’m still reeling from the heartbreak of ep 100 so here’s a short list of some of my favorite things:

The Pomchi Palace jingle

Just the whole first Mission: Apparition episode. “Four score and a cap in your ass” is iconic. Also very good Bemily content

Also re: Bemily when she visits them at the first Best Small Town in America celebration and Ben just gets so cute and flustered and Emily almost says she loves him and aaahhhhhh

The little post-credits bit at the end of ep 61 where Herschel and Cecil sing Shake It Off

Any time Sammy laughs post-ep 75 (but esp in 79, it just hits particularly hard the first time)

Just Herschel and Cecil in general. This show endeared me to two very old men and I would die for both of them FUCK

MARY JENSEN. She’s incredible and I love her and she’s amazing

The Tim 1 vs. Tim 2 fight happening in the background of J Fink reading from the fucky list during the telethon at channel 3

Troy roasting the FUCK out of Gundersen at the debate

The whole bit Emily and Sammy have when they tease Ben for his “Ben-isms”

“Snap, crackle, pop, diabetes!”

Honestly? Calvin. What a wild concept. Chaotic evil at its peak

Also Gwendolyn. She sucks but she’s so funny and I get so excited every time she shows up.

The fact that they actually adopt “Jack-in-the-Box Jesus” as an expletive for the rest of the show

When Ben hears the recording of Can You Hear Me for the first time and hypes up his own vocal performance

“Let’s make this fuckin’ mean somethin’” is such an excellent line and moment

“It’s been locked up for far too long” also makes me cry every time without fail

Ben not knowing what nonbinary means when Sammy brings it up but immediately becoming a very excited ally

The first time Mr. X calls and Ben puts him on hold and they both say at the same time “I don’t like this”. It was early on in the show and they were so in sync it makes me so happy

Whenever Herschel says “my/our boys” 🥺 it has big Grunkle Stan and Mabel energy

(Or “my Cecil”)

Also whenever Sammy says “my Jack”

Agent Reagan Spears. I know I already made a little separate post about her but I just wanted to reiterate that I adore Reagan, she is the light of my life and she is so weird

Every time Ben and Dan get into a 90s boyband fight. It’s so dumb and so fun to listen to

Fuckign,, I know it’s incredibly awkward and strange but when Jacob and Pearl sing Satisfied in Troy’s car I just laugh until I cry they’re so WEIRD

The whole back half of ep 44. The music. The sound design. The acting. I just,,

Ben losing his shit at Gundersen in ep 73. That moment is painful and it sucks but I love me some quality acting and patented Ben Arnold rage

Every time they date themselves with cultural references that were topical at the time but are kinda outdated (ex. various Trump jokes, baby shark, Hotline Bling)

Sammy “Sassy Dad Friend” Stevens. Just whenever he does the dad voice and especially when he gets called out for it

Every Sammy “mmhmm!”

The Beauregard announcement at the Best Small Town in America celebration in ep 78!!!! The suspense and the shock are just very good

Ron just,,,, loves Kingsie so much

“What the f*** are you saying that for, Sammy?!” “I’m sorry, did you just say fuck?!”

Chet clearly caring a lot about the boys. He’s a shithead but everyone has just kind of adopted each other into their weird family over time and I live for it

The first time Ben says “bad times are tough, but not tougher than you” and Sammy is like “wtf did you listen to the tape??”

When #OperationKingFallsKringle showed up and Sammy got all excited like a little kid like “wait he’s here?? Oh my god he’s here!!! Look at what I’m wearing!”

Darlin I’m Gone is such an earworm I get it stuck in my head every time I hear it

Any episode where we get content that’s not from the show. Town hall debate? Channel 13 news report? Wright On? Gimme it all

Sammy being all big-brother protective of Lily when she and Katie start… hanging out and denying it when Ben gets on him about it

Sofa King Beer. Such a stupid pun

CECIL motherfucking SHEFFIELD!!!!!!! AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And that’s just off the top of my head! I know there’s not a lot of Emily or Lily content here but I just wanna make sure I don’t spoil too much

[ashintheairlikesnow]

🤕 & 🥂 for the puppies? (And I know it’s suppose to be celebrating but I thought Drunk Danny and Ryan would fit even tho it’s not exactly celebrating...)

CW: Referenced noncon, pet whump, dehumanization, referenced murder

"Ooooh, drunk," Danny slurs, and puts a hand over his mouth.

"Drunk and fuckin' loud," Ryan says primly, his own head spinning delightfully, thanks to the bottle of cheap brown liquor in his hand.

Normally it wouldn't do shit, but with the iron around his neck Ryan seems to get drunk faster than he ever has before.

There's a cabinet downstairs in the kitchen only Danny can reach. Nobody else is tall enough, and up there in the back Danny found the dead guy's liquor stash and snuck it up here, hiding bottle after bottle in the closet, the only option there was.

The demons are outside, stargazing or some fucking demon bullshit, he doesn't know. He's been chained by his ankle but his hands are free, so Ryan holds the bottle and passes into Danny, trying to get his brother to space his drinks out a little better than he did at the beginning.

Danny isn't chained or tied up or anything at all. But as long as Ryan is here, Danny isn't going anywhere, and the demons goddamn well know it.

There's a drumbeat in Ryan, something deeper than the itch around his neck where the iron collar burns and rubs and makes him bleed. Some deeper voice that whispers that iron cannot hold him forever.

Ryan drowns the voice out with another drink of the cheap whiskey a corpse once bought, never knowing he wouldn't be the one to drink it.

"You have the tolerance of a Canadian goose, so I'm not surprised you're drunk," Ryan says cheerfully to Danny.

"How... How th' fuck would you know what a goose can drink in Canada?"

"Only kind of fucking goose I know, Dan," Ryan says - and catches Danny's wince. "Sorry. Red."

"S'okay. Hey, we should do a toast."

"To fucking what? Cheers to spending half my days on my back and the other half watching you on yours?"

Danny sighs, and looks away. "Sorry, he, he won't always let me take your times-"

"Okay, no. That's not what I meant. I don't mind, I really don't." That's a lie, but Ryan Michaelson has always been an excellent liar and he isn't about to stop now. "You sleep, on the nights it's my turn. And he gives you breakfast after. I can take it. I just meant-"

"Are you drinking?" He and Danny both stiffen at the third voice, and turn to see Ashley's pet (not a puppy, Ashley was very clear that Ora Collins is not a puppy) standing in the doorway. Green hair, big t-shirt, black pants. Looking numb as shit. Same as always.

"Why? You gonna rat on us to the goddamn monsters again?" Ryan sits back against the wall, glaring at them, fighting the urge to scratch his neck.

"N-no. And I'm sorry I did that, before. And... And I'm sorry about. Um. Helping you get kidnapped."

Danny waves one hand dismissively. His eyes sparkle too much, they're overbright with drink. "Yeah, well. I helped myself get kidnapped. Um, you... You want to drink with us? Cheapass generic whiskey, comin' up."

"Yeah... Yeah. That'd be nice." Ora moves slowly into the room, dropping to sit with them, crossing their legs.

Danny gestures to Ryan to hand over the bottles, and Ryan glares for one long moment before he sighs. "Fine, here."

Ora takes the bottle with a murmured thanks, and drinks it straight in pure swallows, until Ryan and Danny are both staring, surprised. Then they grin, shame-faced, wiping their mouth. "Sorry. I've needed a drink for months."

"Well, here's to the fucking horror movie that is our lives," Ryan says, leaning forward to hold up an imaginary glass. "Here's to answering to a fucking pet name."

"Here's to sleeping in, um, Abraham Denner's bed when I, um, sleep at all." Danny clinks his own imaginary glass against Ryan's.

"Here's to helping Ashley bury all the bodies," Ora says quietly, and lifts up the bottle.

"What a wonderful fucking life," Danny says, and Ora laughs quietly, one hand over their mouth, before they drink from the bottle again.

"Hey, no fair, you don't get to drink it all-"

[ne-fe-li-bata]

Aye yo CORPSE!  ...

Dead ass;

You can't convince me that Corspe was/is/does ; 

in no particular order..

• Deserve to be held ( I would smother him with my chest and hold him tighter than he has ever been held) & protected from this world

• Pyro! Mans loves🔥🔥🔥 - mostly his fav elemental  (Leo is a fire sign); “WOOO... now that’s a fire!”

•  Loves knives/weapons- has a collection (quite a nifty 1, ay thank-a-you) & even knows how to use butterfly knives/ tackle combat.

      Has a collection of weapons (brass knuckle, daggers, swords, knives,etc.)

•  Highly interested in combat/training. Most likely has training in some sort of combat. Loves any form of physical combat < UFC,MMA, Boxing, any type of martial arts>

•  Absolute proper gentlemen / clearly has the utmost charm/cunning

      I.e holds the door open & will slap yo ass on the way in, moves you away from street side when walking, pulls chairs, defends your honor, etc.

• Takes A . L . O . T  to truly capture his attention- but once you have it ..%100

•  With his person; protective/obsessives/ possessive/ sensual/ affectionate .

              < mine is mine. me no share -like absolutely not at all>

             “ You want the moon? Just say the word and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down for ya“

• RP'er on DeviantArt/chats had his own OC. (also prob had his fav person to RP with) 

         <prob even talked to them in MSN or private chat>

•  Watched mostly nothing by anime/cartoons (nick/CN) as a kid & also mostly watched certain shows/movies as a kid well into his teens

         (could recite quotes/scenes as second nature)

•  Not a major musical theatre type of kid. But musical movies/shows was 1 of his favs- but still highly interested/ in love with theatre/musicals/preforming arts none the less.

-EYES DON’T LIE

•’staring problem’ he’d just stare at you -deep in his head (both good & bad) you’d have to bring him back to you ..”babe- eh, come *snap*back to me. What’s on your mind my love?’

•  Genuinely a really warm person- but only to certain people, but comes across cold & distance 

•  Grew up in the internet & knows the way around the 'business' & 'faceless' YouTubers/celebrities

•  His teens/ late adolescents consisted & grew up on YouTube O.G videos/ video game commentary/content;

  Cry.. <Cry was a huge part of my life & still hold a special place in my heart. Corspe just like I was most likely devastated with the shit that went down> 

Jack

Nova

Sp00n

Jontron

Smosh

Nigahiga

Shane

Jenna

Hanna Hart

Phil/Dan

KevJumba

Ray William Johnson

Pewds

Machinima

EMT

ERB

Wassabi Prod.

VlogBros, 

-etc

• Has an oral fixating (lovebites indefinitely <like dead ass ya’ll be chillan/ out & he’d attack you> & just needs something in his mouth always)

• Fidgety af, always need to be playing with something in his hands/playing with 

•  Is a goddamn absolute certified freak--but also super soft bean boi. (can't stress how this boi needs& deserves to be protected)

• Constant hand/arm touching/stroking for comfort.

• Daddy{papi} / Mommy(mamá) . Master . Sir  kink - hard control kinks- but highly sub. 

hard(er) kinks

• Lovebites = M I N E 

obvs fishnets/ crossbody straps/ lingerie

lace

collars/ restraints 

toys

     •RP

degrading/praising

sub/dom switch

showing/proving your actually/completely & utterly his/ he’s completely & utterly yours..

& of course you know it's go time when 1 - if not both of you has kitty ears on. 

over stim 

*no touchy/ don’t let me go*

“look at what I’ve done to you”

“you kno only I can do this to you”

“look how greedy you are for me”

“look at the mess you’ve made because of me’ 

“cum on my face”/’cum for me”

“who do you belong to” / “you belong to me & only me”

100% all black clothing 🖤

*that once we get home / I swear I’ll deal with you right here, right now* look 

primal play  “when you run from me, it only makes me want you more” “you know imma find you kitten”

pet names (beast< i feel like you call this man “ (a) beast”-he about to lose his absolute fucking mind> , “oh Corpse/______, you absolute fuckin’ beast- my God” kitten, babyboy/girl, baby(e), bae, my love, lover boy, my darling, slut, needy little bitch, cum slut, lil’ whore, master/mistress, king/queen”

“only yours” “just ______” “ no-one but _____” “only____” “only you” 

‘I’ll keep you so no one can find you or bother us’

“that’s my girl” / “that's my boy”

“would you like to/ I saw----”

“look at me” “don’t look away from me”

GROWLING / talking through clenched jaw

not breaking eye contact 

     • his name & ‘Corspe’ being cried out 

“cry out my name for me baby. know who you belong to”

video/sexing/teasing 

breeding kink

voyeurism

abrasions

aftercare af 

impact play 

24/7

edging 

accidental stim; “holy fuck- I’m so turned on by you rn”

rope bondage 

begging 

worships 

•  But also soft kinks; 

MEME SENDING

head on lap/chest

naps

playing with hair 

matching outfits

voice messages 

always touching (somehow)

no space between bodies

picture taking together/ just of you

body rubs, head rubs

massages

competition 

play fighting

“this reminded me of you”

“I remember you said” “I know you...”

“you know I love you”

“I can tell by your eyes”

“ugh- I swear to shit imma marry you 1 day”

“nothing really made sense until you”

“do you wanna watch”/ “WAIT!? YOU HAVEN’T SEEN?!”

“damn- you really do love/like me, eh?”/ “you are SO fucking mine”

“that’s my girl”/ “that's my boy”

pet names/ “MY_______” “YOURS”

long stares

dates- stay at home dates are his fav, as your attention/focus is just on him 

choker/necklace/ jewelry (that 1 of you bought- NOT LIKE HIGH PRICE TAG, but like seen it & was like ‘omg ____ would so wear...’) 

cuddles with movies /anime watching time

just being in the same room/on call- even in silence 

* emojis*- just some sort of communication 

inside jokes/ puns/dark humor

seeing 1 another with kids

future kink (family, travel, etc)

playing video games 

dancing/ singing with 1 another

Sitting on the ground, wrapped around his leg when he streams/edits

Nerf gun fights 

Watching him record (tracks/editing/streaming)

•  Loves- loves surprises <like dead ass would set up a surprise date/ do a scavenger hunt for you/ surprise you with your fav thing>

•  Loyalty is everything & his best attribute (& pride) 

• The music that he make is from the soul/heart. He pit everything has has/what he has left into his art

•  No one has seen the real him - a side he truly hides

•  He's both book & street smart

           Taught himself through YouTube/Reedit/online 

•  Fav actors; Jim Carrey/Robbin Williams/Will Smith (?)

•  Man’s straight up dangerous. we only know like a  quarter of him & people fall at his feet. ( h e . i s . n o t . t o . b e. F U C K E D . w i t h) 

•  Hates silence 

         ( constantly needs background noise)  <also can't fight me on this babyboi cuddles pillows/blankets for night-night time>

•  People don't understand the pain he is in every day, unless they have fibromyalgia/GERD/high functioning (sever social)anxiety/depression/ agoraphobia 

(my mom suffers with fibro/depression <I myself have GERD/ sever social amenity/depression>& I wouldn't wish those illness on my worse enemy...)

• Over all pain has changed him

• Has dealt with self harm since a young age- most likely 9- 11 yrs old. (as someone else who’s suffered with SH for years- when you become so numb it 1 of the only ways to feel some sort of anything/makes you feel like you’re alive)

• Addiction (drugs/people/things)

•  Wrote & read a lot of fanfiction

        (most likely his main source of reading in pre/teenage years)

• Is a hopeless romantic but has his guard way up

•  Obsessed with Japan / Studio Ghibli

• Doesn't think he deserves any of the recognition/ fame he's gotten--but definitely deserves it all as he's creative & inspirational as fuck. Also he’s worked so hard for it & had put himself through so much

    Contrary is highly appreciative of those that are supporting

• Doesn't do it for the fame but for the fact he know how he's gotten people through hard time (just like those on the internet got him through)

• Was a scene boy that vibe’d of myspace/ listens to a lot of  ‘scene’ pop-punk, emo/ scene band shit (band?)

•  Also is/was a major tumblr boy

•  Would be a phenomenal father

•   His love language: physical touch & words of affirmation 

• He would flinch at touch movement but would melt in your hands

• Face caresses would trigger anxiety/ tears.. but once he’s calmed/comfortable would burry his face in your touch. neck & chest

•  Still caught up in daydreams

•  A part of him is still never satisfied even if it’s exactly to the pin point detail of what he wanted  

•  Has at least 40/50(ish) songs he hasn't released

•  Mommy & daddy issues (not saying his home life was really- really  fucked - but non the less- it certainly wasn't the best).. Also wants to protect/provide for his family (especially his sister) & was prob closer to a grandparent/aunt/uncle)

•  Definitely prefers to be by himself, as every time people come around, it's like;‘"this is why I'm okay (ish)with being alone" 

• lost an important person to him due to O.D/ suicided..

•  Also most likely to of heard his "friends" shit talking 'Corpse' or something correlated with him

•  His pride is his biggest sin (next to lust)

•  Has single-handedly defined a huge part of 2020 ( in the best way)

•  Went through a fighting stage where he was ready to fuck anyone up on a drop of a dime (middle/'high school'/street fights- possibly even under ground)

          but also a stage where he cut absolutely everyone off for a solid couple years

•  Most likely obsessed with 1 of 3 creatures; lion, dragon, wolf ( 5ish- possibly bear/fox)

•  Dinosaur obsessed 

• Internet & video games raised him

• He raised himself

Quick to adapt to surroundings/situations.

•  Mighty Morphin Power Rangers was his shit ( I CAN SO SEE YOUNG BABYBOI RUNNIN AROUND THE HOUSE IN A POWER RANGER SUIT) "IT'S MORPHIN' TIME MOTHER FUCKER"

              fav ranger- green 

•  Has up until next year planned out & is working on the next 'version of corpse' ( PR, vids, music, etc)

•  Also med/high key this man was most likely in a physcward (more than once) ..

•  This man deserves more than he'll ever give himself recognition for & knows in the back of his mind--people will hate just to hate

•  Rose is his fav flower  🌹

•⛈️🌧️. >🌞.  Loves storms/ rain & prefers them over sunny days

•  Loves the moon/stars/space (?) < observatorium dates = fuckin mint>

• Pixar/Disney lover

        <still believes- deep down in happy ever after ... but thorough an twisted yet not so twisted- simple(??), dedicated process(?)>

•  Fav Pixar movie.. either Wall.E or Toy Story 

    •  Pixar > Disney

         •  But fav Disney movie- Beauty & the Beast (?)

• Most likely had a Jackass obsession's (doing dumb hoodshit)

•  Fall is his fav season (?)

•  Horror/ thriller movies/shows over everything (obvs)

•   Had an escape place in town where he’d hide from the world- that absolutely no one knew about. 

•  Was really into graffiti/ street art 

•  Arested as a youth - but charges dropped- or was still considered a mirror (either fighting/ possession/ trespassing/ vandalisms)

• Arrested on heavier charges (also same as above - but not tried as an minor)

•  also-ALSO ... thou he feels like he owes people something. HE DOESN’T OWE ANYTHING TO A N Y O N E . His mental & well being is the most important.

•  On a side & major note. You can't deny that this man single handily is a (in my opinion) the 2nd biggest “C” that define 2020.

•  Was most likely really into skateboarding/BMX

• Late night drives/impulsive road trips & playlist/ sitting at lookouts, just in silence & touching 1 another. 

• Clingy af-.. but could also be distance & cold af- especially on high pain days. stormy brain days. PTSD episodes.

• Slow dancing/ dancing around the apartments. with or without music.

• Rocking out with each other- screaming lyrics in each other face.

• “hey baby- how you feelin” 

         *grunting* *shuffles over & lays on chest* 

• Huge comforts for 1 another;

      Especially when going out, being wrapped around him for comfort & reassurance. Even being at home alone together- panic attacks are shit, PTSD episodes are even more shit. helping each other with bathing & caring

     When he’d be hiding from his reflection- or stares just a little too long. Going up behind him & worship him (vise versa)

• He’d be your biggest hypeman/ #1 fan (vise versa)

• Would LOVE you wearing his clothes/jewelry & would love to wear you things.

Was probably engaged to his ex (that's why he gets offt when people mention "corpse wife"

There'd be days where he'd be so distance & cold.. & tell you to leave but wouldn't let you.

He'd sit in the bathroom with you when you shower/have a bath.

As he doesn't sleep most night. He'd be up just watching you sleep & caressing you.

Lil spoon > big spoon.

<more to be added>

I love you... genuinely . turly.  madly. deeply.

[redrabbitspod]

happiness?

first, i wanted to start by thanking dan for allowing me to post this. for a while, i wondered if i even should. but, a lot of you have been asking about me, my upbringing, and who the fuck i am. i think this is, in part, due to my team interview and rumor. i have to admit, not all of the rumors are wrong, but i wanted to come completely clean and after a long time of thinking and a big change in my life, i decided why the fuck not?  maybe, i told myself, it would help some of you. i hope it does. 

but, it is personal and it does mean a lot to me. if i’m being honest, it also makes me feel a bit vulnerable. however, after taking quite a few L’s for rrp, dan agreed, so here we are. 

where are we? here. the fuck does that mean? i don’t exactly know, but i’m going to fuckin wing it.

so, here goes. let’s start from the top. (art by me)*

QUICK OOC! THIS IS A CHAPTER! CLICK HERE TO READ ABOUT SETH’S TIME IN MIAMI AND MORE OF WHAT HE TALKS ABOUT UNDER THE CUT 

*BloodyDamnit: it’s my art. but we like to think Seth is an artist :)

vvvvvvvvvvv

my name is seth gordon, i’m 31 years old and 1 of 7 sons. i’m smack in the middle and i severely suffered from middle child syndrome.

31 years ago, i was born in rural alabama to a white, military father and a black, hard-as-rocks mother. i had your typical, strict military upbringing. my dad was hard on us from the jump and refused to acknowledge the fact that at the time, he had 4 black sons (to have 3 more). i still don’t think he realizes that to this day, he raised 7 black men to hate themselves, but that’s not what this post is really about. i can write an entire critical essay on how much my fathers obliviousness to race and racism ruined my and my brothers psyches, but anyway. 

growing up in the deep south, meant we encountered racism every single day. a lot of it was severe and ultimately, barely acknowledged. to my dad, we were white (which was odd in itself because he was ostracized by everyone around him for marrying my mom) - to my mom, we were hers, but undeniably black. to her family, we were mixed. it was confusing in the household, to say the least. 

while we were accosted at school, bullied, and harassed, my dad had the usual macho-man response of ‘punch ‘em back’ and ‘none of my sons will get beat by some scrawny kids’. if you didn’t punch back, then you were a pussy. 

i, was a pussy. (for many things, but we’ll get there)

my mom, on the other hand, tried her best - bless her fuckin heart. when he wasn’t home, she’d do her best to remind us what we looked like, what we were, and that people wont ever treat us right. she wasn’t wrong, not there, not in that town. 

what was ironic about it all, was while she was trying to get us to understand that being black wasn’t wrong, that it was something to be aware of, yes, but also to be proud - being ‘queer’ was out of the question. 

to start, i was a sensitive kid. that alone was enough to have my older brothers mock me, call me names. when i cried, it got worse. i vividly remember my dad gripping my arm, shaking me, and getting in my face to ‘stop crying like a girl’. i was called queer, i was called fag, i was ostracised by my family - all for crying, all for being ‘sensitive’. i was 6? 7? i was young. a child. 

i learned early. 

as i got older, all the homophobia i’d encountered from my family assuming, made me hate myself for more than just being black, but being whatever i was, too. as i started realizing that boys looked just as good as girls, i became the worst version of myself possible and when my parents divorced, it only festered. 

middle child, remember that? when my dad left, my mom was the only income. she had 7 kids, 7 boys to take care of. my youngest brother was a toddler, my oldest a junior in high school. the older kids were tasked with taking care of the youngest and while my older brothers were working, succeeding in school, making sure the youngest succeeded too, i was left somewhere in between. i was a menace. i created problems in every single fuckin way i could. i wanted attention, i wanted love, i wanted someone to take care of me, too. but i was in middle school and deemed able to take care of myself, so i did. 

i continued to, even as my older brothers went off to college and pursued careers, and i was the last to take care of the kids. i put my mom through the ringer and i had no real prospects. i was getting into fights, smoking weed every day, getting involved with girls, partying, drinking. my second oldest brother pulled me over at the beginning of my senior year and told me that i needed to get out.

he thought it would help - to be away from family, away from my dad, away from the toxicity i’d grown to only know. for a long time, i thought he was stupid. so stupid to think that someone like me, someone with my temperament, my habits, my ability to seek out trouble in every fuckin way i could, should be trusted on my own at college. 

turns out, it was the best advice he could’ve ever given me. 

because i was accepted to psu on a hope and a fuckin prayer. 

i get more into my time at psu here*. it details my drug abuse, my addictions, my severe homophobia, and my path to accepting myself as a bi man. i don’t really feel comfortable explaining that all here, on this public page. but if you would like to read more, you can click the link.* 

anyway, all of that was thanks to wymack and surprisingly, minyard as well. they helped me realize that i could get better, i could be better, that i could overcome the thick fog id lost myself in. 

which brings me to here, today. 

the title of this post is happiness? i asked myself wtf happiness was for the majority of my life. after my undergrad, i questioned if i was happy, every single day. i still do, sometimes. 

you all know me as happy-go-lucky seth; the memester; the goofy guy that is in all actuality, older than the majority of tfn, but treated like the younger brother. maybe, some of you see me as immature. maybe, you think im lying about my age, or that i really am just a happy fuckin guy. 

i am happy, most of the time; so long as im distracted, working, partying, playing music, or helping my friends. but thats really all it is. i need to be busy, in order to forget how unhappy i find myself, sometimes. 

that is, until now. 

relationships are weird - hard to explain. but for me, finding someone i found complete comfort in became important, it became a blessing and i’m not even slightly religious. but that’s what this feels like. 

as many of you know, i’m in a relationship now and maybe im just honeymooning, but by fuck im happy. i havent been able to find solace in quiet for over a decade, full self-acceptance in a lifetime, until i truly met him.

none of you have to know his name, or who he is. but it was in meeting him, someone so like myself with similar struggles and experiences, that i was able to realize that i can love myself. that i have the ability to be proud of who i fucking am, and that i can drop the fucking facade of happiness and actually be happy. 

maybe it’s sappy. 

sounds like it. 

feels like it. 

it is. 

but it was in meeting him, that i learned to have real pride, with no lingering hate dancing around the back of my mind. it was in meeting him, that i learned to accept all aspects of myself and make sure everyone felt just as good as i do.

people like me have the ability to grow. they have the ability to overcome and learn from past mistakes. i was a horrible fucking person for the majority of my life. most of the people i knew wouldn’t even recognize who i am now. doesnt matter that i was a kid, or in college and overcoming grief and ingrained self-hate. i grew, i overcame. i found people that care about me, accept me for the man i am today.

i wish i met them sooner. i wish i’d listened to them sooner. maybe i could've avoided hurting people i hadn’t meant to hurt. 

maybe i could’ve avoided hurting myself, for this long. 

but im finally here and that feels good to say. i found happiness. 

im happy. 

- seth

ooc: * = links to the chapter, where seth goes more into detail with his college experiences, addiction, and past relationships. 

[thewhumperinwhite]

Cafe: Clinic 4

Previous:  Teaser 1 / Teaser 2 / Hospital/Squad Car / No More Squad Car / Empty Bar / Used Car Lot 1 / Used Car Lot 2 / Gas Station / Roadside 1 / Roadside 2 / Forest / Treetops / Cottage (1) / Cottage (2) / Interlude: Police Station / Cottage (3) / Cottage/Car Ride / Clinic / Clinic 2 / Clinic 3

aka Dr. Russ O’Brien’s Awful No Good Very Bad Day.

TW for: implied/reference homophobia, referenced gun violence, referenced eye horror and gore, guilt, alcohol mention.

@whumpitywhumpwhump, @gottalovethemwriters @stephsspilledthoughts

----

Russ O’Brian has run this country clinic for fifteen years, since he left the hospital and his husband in the same year for about the same reason, and he’s seen some horrors—some reckless drivers and kids with unsecured guns in their homes who made it to his clinic but didn’t make it into the hospital airlift. It isn’t common—he spends a lot more time passing out safer sex pamphlets to kids who think he’s the only queer adult in town, and a lot of grueling but less firework-spectacular hours referring people to substance abuse programs in the next town over— but he’s seen some terrible things in that time.

He’s never had a day like today.

By rights the first bleeder—that’s what they’re calling them, apparently, in the city Greg ran off to when Russ made it clear he was no longer welcome in Russ’s home, “bleeders,” and Russ guesses that is the showiest thing they do, bleed—should have killed him. He was leaning right in the woman’s face to take her temperature when she suddenly coughed a mouthful of horrible bloody phlegm right down the front of his shirt and then stared at him with what he would discover was a characteristic look of blank confusion before Sara, the tech who’s worked for him part time for five years now made a loud sound with equipment in the corner of the room and the woman lunged for her instead of Russ. And then when Russ, having about a hundred pounds on her, hauled the woman off, she thrashed in his grip like a captured wildcat, kicked him in the crotch, and ran out of the exam room.

And the bite didn’t even look that bad.

Russ has worked on enough desperate people to know that human bites are among the most prone to infection of any, but thankfully he does have the equipment to thoroughly disinfect a bite like that, and when Sara—who was only twenty three, and lived on her own—asked if she could stay on for a while, loiter in the clinic kitchen and breakroom until she’d calmed down a little, Russ had seen no reason not to let her stay.

Sara’s a sweet kid, and a good assistant; the only time she’s missed a planned shift in all the five years she’s been working at the clinic is when she was in a real low place two years ago after the collapse of a long relationship that had been wearing her down for years after that time anyway— and she had come to Russ about that, because she didn’t have any more family in the area than he did.

All of which is to say, well. Russ doesn’t own a gun or anything anyway, but he is a hell of a lot bigger than Sara. Probably he could have stopped her, after she raised her face from her hands where the tears she’d been covering had suddenly started running red. He sure could have at least tried. But she bowled him over easy, launching herself at him and burying her pointed skinny-girl shoulder in his stomach, and he hit the floor of the clinic kitchen hard, and then she panted into his face like a mad dog, blood dribbling from her mouth, and then someone in the waiting room screamed and she went rocketing out there to make whatever chaos had already erupted worse.

Which is—all of that should have been enough, was enough to cement this as the worst day in a career and life full of terrible days, but it isn’t the worst part.

The worst part is that Russ is a goddamn doctor, whether he works at a fancy hospital or not, and he knows he’s supposed to run out there, keep Sara and whoever else is falling apart in his waiting room from tearing each other up, he can picture himself doing it, picture them turning on him instead, and that should be fine, he’s a fucking sad old man, he should be happy to give up a life he doesn’t even like that much in the service of doing the right thing, of keeping the oath he made a thousand years ago when he had a family and a home and a job he loved, and.

And what he does instead is run to the shitty little backroom office he’s always hated and slam the door shut and lean against it. What he does is sit on the floor with his back to the door and put his hands over his eyes. The office is in the back, with the kitchen and the exam room between it and the waiting room, and with the door closed, he can’t even really hear his patients ripping each other to shreds.

That all happens at 3 PM. It’s almost 3 AM, now, the clinic quiet while three strangers and the daughter of a high school bully sleep off a days worth of trauma presumably miles worse than his.

If only they’d had an office to cower in and a dozen people to sacrifice.

Russ sweated the last whiskey out of his system fairly early on in the process of keeping a stranger from bleeding to death on his table, and now that he’s finished that particular piece of penance, he figures he’s earned a little more. 

He stops in the kitchen doorway. Dan Rochester’s daughter is in the middle of rifling through the staff-kitchen fridge, inspecting and rejecting lots of food that isn’t hers. He watches her grab a two-litre bottle of coke and close the fridge, and then she turns back to the table, sees him in the doorway, and goes fully deer-in-headlights still, visibly picking between fight and flight.

They stare at each other for a second. Then Russ sighs and crosses to the cabinet above the microwave; the girl’s shoulders relax as soon as he stops blocking her exit.

“Here,” he says, grabbing an old tupperware cup and tossing it underhand to the Rochester girl, who catches it easily, looking startled. He plops down in one of the mismatched chairs around the rickety kitchen tables, sets down his own cup, and holds out a hand for the coke bottle, raising his eyebrows.

The Rochester girl flushes and hands over the bottle. After a minute she slowly sits down at the table, too, eyes darting at Russ and then away.

Russ fills his own glass, and then he fills her glass too, setting the mostly-empty, mostly-flat bottle aside. “Not planning anymore sleep tonight, huh?”

She frowns down at her glass and then knocks back a big swig, half the cup in one go. As she sets it back down she shakes her head, not looking at Russ.

“Had bad dreams,” she admits after a second, in a quiet scratchy voice.

Russ doesn’t ask what about. It’s hard to tell cause it’s so dark, but he thinks some of the tacky filth in her hair is probably blood.

“You’re Dan’s oldest, huh?” he asks instead, and her face creases immediately and she takes another too-big glug of coke.

“Uh-huh,” she says after she’s choked it down. Russ looks at her. She’s probably— what, twelve? Dan was an asshole; he’s not sure he’s actually spoken to any of his kids before.

“I’ll be honest,” he says, “I got no fuckin’ clue what your name is, kid.”

She blinks at him with wide eyes, maybe startled by the swear. “It’s, uh.” She clears her throat, and then she sticks her hand out stiffly across the corner of the table at him. “I’m Sam.”

Russ looks down at her hand, which is dirt-caked and small, and feels the corner of his mouth twitch up. “Russ,” he says, engulfing her tiny hand in his grown one and giving it a very professional shake. Then he hooks his thumb over his shoulder in the vague direction of the exam room. “You wanna tell me what you’re doin’ with these...” He’s not sure how to ask “how did the daughter of Dan Rochester end up bringing me the three most visibly queer kids I’ve ever seen in this godforsaken town,” so he finishes with a half-hearted “...people?” instead.

Sam flushes again. “Oh, I, uh. Well. I shot the, um, the red-haired one.” Russ— knew that, at least vaguely, but still feels his eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Only it was a, an accident, so I felt... bad.”

Russ blinks at her, and then finds himself laughing; it’s just a short little huff but it does feel good, eases a little of the tension in his jaw and back. “You even know their names, Sam Rochester?”

Sam turns very red at that, and Russ is laughing for real, now, leaning back in his chair with the strength of it, and when he turns his head he sees the short guy, the one who pointed a shotgun at him, hovering awkwardly in the doorway, clearly debating whether to interrupt or slink away.

Russ is feeling generous, at the moment, a mix of spite and warmth at the idea of Dan Rochester’s daughter having such an uncomplicated, dumbass desire to do right by people; and the kid with the shotgun is currently included in that warmth by virtue of being in sight at the right time. Russ waves him over, gesturing broadly with his half-empty cup.

“Come join us, eh?” he says, grinning. “Cups above the micro. We’re committin’ to eight more hours without sleep.”

The kid blinks his big dark eyes, clearly startled. “Uh,” he says, and moves mechanically to the cabinet and sits down with his own cup, looking dazed.

“You got a name, by the way?” Russ says while he fills the kid’s cup.

“Oh, it’s, uh— Solemn, I’m Solemn, it’s—” He clears his throat, hiding behind his cup a little. “Sol’s my name.”

Russ laughs again, and raises his plastic cup toward the kid, who mirrors him automatically; Russ taps their cups together with a dull click.

“Russ O’Brien. Cheers.”

Solemn—Sol—takes a big swig, not like he’s decided to do it but like it’s a reflex, and then makes a face, looking down at his half-empty cup.

“Jesus, this is flat as fuck,” he says, and Sam audibly gasps; Sol blinks up at her and then clears his throat again, even more awkwardly. “Sorry, kid.”

Russ leans back in his chair and crosses his arms, grinning. “Rochester here was just telling me how she has no idea who you people are. You wanna share what brings y’all to our,” and he gestures vaguely around, indicating the clinic and the trees and farms and confederate flags outside of it, “thrivin’ metropolis?”

“We’re just passing through,” Sol says, a little defensive. “We’re on our way upstate.”

“Upstate where?”

Sol stares at Russ for a second, and then he looks down at the table, fiddling with his mostly-empty cup, and says, “I actually don’t... a hundred percent... know.”

Russ listens to the boy explain with— well, he oscillates between thinking the story is funny and thinking its horrible. When Sol is no longer talking, Russ massages his temples, feeling the headache he’s had all day creep back up on him.

“Now, all right,” he says finally. “You’ve known this kid for a total of— what, three days?”

Sol blinks, and then looks down at his hands like maybe he’s counting hours on his fingers. “I guess so?” the boy hazards.

“And now you’re just dyin’ to wander off to an undisclosed location with him through who-knows-what, huh?”

Sol flushes deeply, sneaking a look up at Russ and then back down at the table.

“Well,” he says softly, wrapping his hand around his cup like it’s a security blanket. “I just, uh. I just didn’t wanna leave him on his own, is all. And it wasn’t like I had a lot of other plans, either.”

Russ looks at the kid, who’s now playing with his cup, like it’s suddenly the most interesting thing in the room.

“Sure, kid,” Russ says, and pours him another glass.

[autistic-characterhcs]

Autistic!Wayne (P1)

I wrote this back at the start of summer and thought I should post it here. It’s the introduction for a fanfic I started and kind of dropped from a show called Letterkenny. I think the main character, Wayne, is Autistic. He has some symptoms that are all but text book. 

Warnings: Stronger than usual swearing langue. If you watch Letterkenny, this oneshot is cleaner worded than any given episode. 

Wayne had been diagnosed with Autism when he was eight or ten. His parents knew there was something a little “off” with him but it was Pa’s friend, Dan, who tied everything together. They were going hunting- Dan, Pa, Darry, and Wayne that is- until the trip got rained out. If it was just rain they would have gone but thunder and lightning put a pin in any notion of sitting in a metal framed deer blind.

Pa and Dan didn’t mind that much; they sat at the table chatting with Mumma over a couple of Gus’N’Bruno’s Puppers. Darry was watching cartoons in the living room with Wayne and Katy. Well, sort of. Wayne was mighty antsy and couldn’t sit still for long, so Darry was trying to calm him down. Wayne wasn’t upset the trip was cancelled, they could reschedule. He was irked the plans had changed within an hour’s notice.

“You know, Bens, I thinks Waynes got the Autisms.” Dan said. 

The three of them could see Darry shuffling a deck of playing cards on the coffee table while Wayne watched, his foot bouncing a mile a minute and he kneaded the knees of his pants like he was trying to wring water out of them.

“What’s that now, Dan?” Mumma asked, getting a snack for the kids. 

“Well, I was thinking an’ it fits. My cousin’s nephew’s son has it and Waynes acts sort of simulars to him. Theys both stoics, gots to has a water-tight routine. Theys both move their hands sorts of funnies.” Dan explained. 

Mumma and Pa looked at each other. “What do you figure, honey” Pa asked. “Worth looking into?” 

“If there’s something they can do to help him.” 

Within three appointments Wayne was diagnosed with Autism. Same as always, gas travels fast in a small town so by the end of the week most of Letterkenny knew.

*****

As Wayne, Katy, and Darry got older, peers started bullying Wayne and Darry more. Come middle school, the three of them were pretty good at fighting. However, little gangs often sprouted. If someone picked on Wayne, Katy and/or Darry quickly taught them not to fuck with him. If someone went after Darry without reason or went too far with Katy, Wayne told ‘em where to go. By the time Wayne and Darry graduated high school, most of Letterkenny understood.

*****

When Wayne and Katy’s parents died, Wayne went nearly nonverbal for almost two weeks. He wasn’t one much for words in the first place, so the one and two word answers scared Katy. Wayne hadn’t cried after a week of Mumma and Papa’s death and Katy didn’t know if he was going to; she’d never seen him cry before. 

Two weeks passed before he finally crumbled. He was making breakfast for himself, Katy, and Darry (with some extras for Dan). He’d forgotten to do the dishes the night before, so the spatula he needed wasn’t clean and it drove the final nail in. 

He threw the spoon he had in his hand across the room and a deep growl rose from his throat, his hands tugging hard on his hair. Katy and Darry both jumped when Wayne threw the spoon. Daryl jumped up from his chair and stood behind Wayne, getting a tight grip on his wrists. Slowly, Wayne’s fingers released his hair and Darry steadily lowered Wayne’s hands to his waist. 

“You’re okay, good buddy, you’re okay.” Darry whispered again and again. Once Wayne’s breathing was a little closer to normal, Darry let go of Wayne’s wrists and hugged him tightly. 

With a body shuddering sob,  Wayne’s knees gave out and Darry lowered them to the floor. He moved around Wayne so he could properly hold him as he sobbed. Katy quickly set to flipping pancakes on the stove so they wouldn’t burn. 

Ten minutes later when Dan came in, Wayne was still sobbing into Darry’s shoulder where they sat on the floor. At the 15 minute mark, the heart wrenching sobs that made Katy tear up quieted down and he’d sobbed himself out after a total of 25 minutes. He let himself be held by Darry, being a limp weight. 

Darry backed up slightly so he could see his best friend’s face. His eyes were red; his face red, blotchy, and tear streaked. “Okay, big shooter?” Wayne shakily nodded and Darry pulled him back into the hug. “Got a headache?” Darry guessed. Another nod. “Let’s get you in a chair an’ I’ll get you a tylenol, hm?” There was a pause but Wayne nodded all the same. 

Darryl got Wayne on his feet again and he brought his hands to his head again but Darry caught them around the wrists. “Wayne, eye contact.” He prompted. “Wayne.” Hesitantly, Wayne brought his eyes to meet Darryl’s. “Ya gotta stop pullin’ your hair, buddy. It’s just gonna make your headache worse.” Darryl kept his firm grip on Wayne’s wrists until he got another nod of conformation. As promised, Darry helped Wayne to his usual chair. 

No-one said anything about Wayne’s outburst and he took the two painkillers when Darryl put them in front of him with some water. No-one said anything when Wayne teared up throughout the day, either. 

Dan stayed over more than usual knowing what Wayne and Katy were going through. Dan stayed closer to Wayne and Katy too so he could cheer up the grieving siblings.

*****

Two months passed before a lawyer came knocking and  this fuckin’ idiot got Wayne fully verbal again. 

“We think it would be best to move your sister into a group home,” the case worker said. 

“Hard no.” Wayne didn’t pause, still moving the bales of straw onto the trailer. “This family’s been broke up enough. Katy isn’t going anywhere.” 

“We’re just worried she won’t be provided for with your mental cond-” 

“This doesn’t have anything to do with my Autism. If I was unfit to care for my sister, I’d be unfit to care for myself and someone at the hospital would have told me before I turned 18. We’re staying together.” 

“Mr-” 

“Look, I can take care of my sister just fine. ‘Sides, if it’s me yer worried about I’m never alone with her. Go ask Darryl, Squirrely Dan, and the McMurries what they think. Darry lives with us, he brings in some pay o’ his own and we have friends we can ask for help from if we ever needed it. Give me the papers and I’ll take custody over Katy. She ain’t living under someone else’s roof until she’s 18 or good’n’ready to be living somewhere else.” 

“Are you sure? That’s a lot of stress and burden for someone your age. Especially with you still running the farm.” 

Wayne stopped moving bales of hay and set his stern, squinted eyes on the pair of caseworkers, pointing stiffly at them. “You call my sister a stress and burden one more time an’ I’ll have to go over there and talk to ya.” He put his arm down. “Get me the adoption papers or get the fuck off my property.” 

“We don’t have the papers right now. We didn’t think you were going to…” 

“Then get off my property. Come back with the papers or don’t come back at all.”

*****

Wayne dated Angie for two years before he found out she cheated on him. He wasn’t a fan of being touched by anyone other than Darry or Katy. He’d been perfectly happy with their relationship. All the talking and occasional hand holding but nothing too out of his comfort zone. They’d kiss or make out sometimes but he always felt weird afterwards and he couldn’t pin it as a good thing or a bad thing. 

He heard rumours around town of someone cheating on a “sped” but he ignored it. Despite Letterkenny being pretty small, he didn’t know everyone, so it must have been pert near impossible for it to be about him and his Angie, right? Hard no. Katy told him it was true. She hadn’t mentioned left a bright pink hand print on the cheek of the bastard Angie had cheated on Wayne with. She figured it wouldn’t help her brother’s broken heart. 

It took a lot for Wayne to trust someone and Angie had somehow gotten herself into the farmer’s heart and then stomped it into the dirt when she got bored. Wayne didn’t cry but he didn’t turn down a hug from Katy either. Darry had been there for him too with a couple of Puppers and some stupid jokes he knew Wayne would understand and enjoy.

*****

A year passed before Wayne pieced things together for himself with a little help from Katy. He wasn’t one for talking about his feelings; it made him feel 10-ply. So when he went to Katy to ask questions about her love life, the young woman had some idea of what was going on. 

“How’re ya now?” Wayne sat next to his sister on the couch. 

“Good. ‘N you?” Katy put her phone down and gave Wayne her full attention so he’d know she was listening and wasn’t bored or wanted him to stop talking. 

“Oh, not so bad.” 

“What’s up, Big Brother?” 

“Well, I have a question and don’t completely know how to ask it.” He started off slow. He was still thinking as he spoke but Katy knew how to talk to her brother so she knew it sometime took him a little while longer than most people to get the question just how he wanted it. 

“We can figure out.” She adjusted how she was sitting. 

“You know how you try to go after Bonnie McMurry?” Wayne tried. 

“Bonnie McMurry,” Katy sighed dreamily. “What about her?” 

“Well, before you liked her you were dating the hockey players.” Wayne’s head was racing with how to ask the next part. “How’d you know you liked Bonnie and not another man?” 

Katy was a little taken aback. This was out of character for Wayne. Usually he wanted nothing =to do with Riley and Jonesy aside from tripping them with Darry when they dropped her off before they broke up. “Well, uh… just… I don’t know, Big Brother. There’s just something different, you know? Jonesy and Riley were good for in bed stuff but they didn’t have the brain space put together for a full conversation. With Bonnie, though, she’s smart and can laugh.” 

Wayne thought for a second. This was backwards of what he was going through. All Angie seemed to have wanted was the “in bed stuff” without much of the talking and laughing. Darryl, on the other hand… Darryl made him smile that rare smile only he and Katy- not even Dan anymore- got to see. Angie left Wayne for the exact opposite reason Katy had left the hockeyplayers. He was a good listener but didn’t want anything to do with a bed if it wasn’t for sleeping or relaxing and he didn’t want anything to with touching if it wasn’t a handshake. 

“What’s going on in your head, Wayne?” Katy asked fondly. She knew he was trying to figure something out. 

Wayne’s throat made the little growl it always did when he was thinking too hard. “I don’t know.” 

“Well, what are you trying to figure out?” 

“I figured out why Angie cheated on me.” He said, folding his arms across his chest. “I did not want any of the bed stuff.” 

“That’s alright; some people don’t.” Katy nodded. “Do you like someone else now?” 

“I think so. I don’t know if it is okay.” 

“Who do you like? I can probably tell if they’re into guys,” Katy offered. She knew not to push too far with the question. Wayne had come to her and he wasn’t likely to leave until they got it figured out. “It’s okay. I dated two guys at the same time where all three of us were in the relationship and now I’m chasing after a girl two years younger than me. I’m not in a position to judge anyone.”

“Except Gailer.” 

“Except Gailer.” Katy could give him that one. “So who is the lucky person?” 

“I think… I think it’s Dar.” 

“That’s alright. You two would be cute.” Katy smiled. She happened to know that Darry felt the same way about her brother. The fond and sappy look he’d give Wayne when he was playing with one of the dogs or joking around with Katy.  “You gonna get after him?” 

“I do not know.” 

“Why not? He wouldn’t judge you.” Katy prompted, tapping Wayne’s knee with her socked foot. 

“Because if something were to go wrong then it’s 20 years down the drain.” Wayne tried to reason. “I can trust…” 

“You can trust Daryl, Wayne. He’s one that won’t hurt you and you don’t even have to worry about it. Not even a little.” Katy comforted him. “You don’t have to tell him, but I think he’d want to know the truth, Big Brother.” 

It took Wayne a couple days to say anything- he didn’t really.  Just kissed him casually one morning- but he and Darry were dating by the end of the week.

[sub4bondage86]

(Stories found on Slaveboys - amupfurit)

I sit here writing this wearing white Adidas trackie bottoms, white McKenzie T-Shirt, Air Max Cap and Lacoste trainers, smoking, with a chastity cage on and a large black butt plug lodged firmly up my ass.. Ned-Slave Well, where do I start? I’m Dan, 20 years old from Glasgow in Scotland, kinda tall at 6ft, got dark hair and eyes and a great body, if I do say so myself! I was considered a bit of a scally, or Ned as they’re called in Scotland, always walking about with trackies, Lacoste trainers and a fag in my mouth. I got on well with my pals, all lads, proper lads, we got wrecked every weekend and ended up doing shit that really wasn’t cool; vandalism, happy slapping, etc. Sex talk didn’t really come up in day to day conversation with the lads, sometimes our pack leader, Jamie, would tell us of the bitches he had taken over the week and the others would all act impressed and cheer him on whereas I just smiled and lit up a fag or kept myself distracted to not look like the pussy I was... I’ve been into kink for a while now, looking on various websites to get my kicks out of other ‘slaves’ being used and abused, thinking to myself how great it would be to be put in bondage, even for just a little while. From my mid-teens I found myself looking less and less at girl porn, and more at guy porn, but I had fooled around with girls in the past and have had my fair share of pussy mostly just to keep the guys impressed and to stop the torrent of abuse the other guys who seemed to never get any action got. I had convinced myself I wasn’t ‘gay’ but I knew that I needed to be dominated by another man. I had looked and tried to get hard at Femdom stuff, but it just wasn’t for me, I couldn’t see me being used by a woman and from what I had seen most of them seemed pretty desperate, but I guess I didn’t look too hard cause I knew deep down that only a man could make me feel the way I needed to feel! It was my secret taboo and no one could find out, regularly deleting all my history and cookies, making sure there was no way my older brother Cameron could see, even if he did manage to log on as me. Cameron was not only my older brother, but my guardian as our parents had left some time ago, and despite being in and out of homes, Cameron took me in as soon as he could and we set up home together, 2 brothers having a great lads time in Glasgow. The house really was the party central in town, with mine’s and Cammie’s pals coming round most weekends for a good ol’ booze up. One weekend, a good few months ago Cameron was away at his girlfriend’s house, so I took this as prime time to have a major wank session while browsing the internet, trying to find a master or someone kinky to go on cam with. I’d told all my pals I was away with Cammie for the weekend, so had from Friday morning til Monday night to myself and man, was I looking forward to it! I finished work at the builders at 3 and went straight back to the house, sat down at the computer with a bottle of beer and a pack of fags to see me through the night. I found a website and quickly made a profile to see what it had on it. Wow. It was awesome. I didn’t realise there were as many guys out there into the same stuff. Some of it was pretty wierd for me though, guys pissing on each other and stuff like that I could never find a turn on. I read some of the forum messages, and man was there some horny stuff. I quickly had a look to see who was online and messaged a guy quite local to me in Glasgow... “Awryte man, nice pics, wud luv 2 get sum action wi u!” I clicked Send, and for some reason I was nervous. It was the fucking internet! He didn’t know anything about me apart from what was on my bare profile, age and location! Why the hell was I nervous. I got a reply quickly. “Boy, you will call me Sir from now on, I am not ‘man’ or ‘m8’, I am Master and you will treat me accordingly. Now boy, do you have a way for us to chat like MSN? If so, I want you to send me your user name immediately.” I got an instant boner when I read that, this hot sounding 25 year old with great pictures was telling me to send my MSN username to him. I lit up a fag and had a quick look around the site before another message popped up “Boy, I don’t take time wasters lying down, either message me your MSN now or never contact me again”. I kinda laughed but thought what the hell and sent him my e-mail address and waited. Just after I put out my first smoke I was messaged on MSN by ‘Master T’: “So boy, why haven’t I seen you on here before?” I explained to him I was new to this and was having a look around to see what I was interested in and maybe have a wank over cam. I explained that I was straight but was curious to find out more about this lifestyle and so far I was pretty turned on. “Very good, a newbie boi for me to break in! U look good boi...” I shat myself, how the hell did he know what I looked like? I started looking around me to see if there was someone looking or any hidden cameras like on the TV shows. I messages him back “LOL man, how the hell u know if I look good? “BOI, U will address me as Sir or master, and Mr Ford, I know everything” By now I was freaked out, he knew apparently what I looked like, but hell.. He knew my surname! I lost the horn and was shaking a little, wondering how this pervert had found out my sir name without me telling it to him. “Sir how do you know my surname? Please tell me or I’ll block you and that’s it!” There was no reply for a good 5 minutes, I was sweating and was swithering on blocking him and hoping it was a really good bluff! He replied and I just about jumped out my seat... Not only did he know who I was, but he had access to all the lads and my pals! “Facebook boi!” Shit what an idiot I had been, I had given him my real e-mail address which I used for everything, Insta, Twitter, facebook! Everything! I didn’t reply, I was shitting myself, what if this guy was going to out me in one go to all my pals? What if he was going to harass me or contact my brother!

“Well boi, get on cam, I want to see my new boi live! Don’t worry, if you please your new master, no one will ever find out. Trust me boy, Im not an old perv, I’ll show you my cam too.” Somehow, this eased my nerves a little. This guy probably didn’t want to be found out either and what the hell, if he did try anything I would just get the police involved. I clicked the send camera button and within a few seconds he sent his and my, oh my, he was stunning. He was muscled, with blonde hair and great blue eyes, he had a cool tribal tattoo similar to mine on his arm and both his nipples were shining with the little silver rings hanging through them. I got hard again and told him he was amazing looking. He looked like an Abercrombie model, only with a wild streak! “Good boi, now, tell ur master what you are into!” I told him I had been looking around the site and loved the look of cages and collars, even the handcuffs and masks looked horny. I explained I wasn't into getting fucked and I wouldn’t suck another dude’s dick for anything. I lit up another fag and told him a bit more about me and asked him what he liked and what he has done in the past. “Boi, I love getting wee ned fuckers like you all chained up and doing things to them beyond their wildest imaginations. Do you have any gear boi?” I asked what gear was, to me it was dope, but how wrong I was... He asked if I had any toys, anal toys! Any handcuffs or tape? I explained I really was new to this and only had handcuffs on once before, and that was after being in a fight on Argyle Street! I was still hard as a rock, sitting here like a faggot looking at this hot guy talking to me about dildos and things called butt plugs. He told me he had to go for an hour, but to research about kink and hopefully open my mind to the things he was going to do to me. I was wanking slightly and he said not wank or touch my cock before he came back. I said OK and started doing my homework for this amazing guy! I started looking around the site some more, reading the forums and trying to find out more about this new found fetish of mine. I read about loads of positions, different gear that guys use and looked at more photos of guys chained up with their cracks’ stuffed with dildos and these plug things. I googled most of the gear and found some sites that sold stuff and man, I didn’t realise there was so much and so many sites that sold them, it was amazing. I found it hard not to touch my dick which was tenting up through my trackie bottoms but just kept lighting up fag after fag to keep my mind (and hands) off my cock. Messenger popped up again, “Well boi Dan, how’s the research coming along?” “Hi Sir, Done loadsa lookin aboot n its aw fuckin horny stuff. Here, u got ne of it?” Master T replied instantly, “More than you could ever realise boi, and you are going to get to try it all out! Now get back on cam!” I quickly turned the camera on as I lit up another fag, shit, I only had 5 left, I wasn’t going to be able to make it through the night chatting to this stud with 5 fags! “Boi, smoke that cig quick, inhale each and every drag well, stand up, then strip. In that order. Go!” I puffed as quick as I could pulled the smokey goodness into my lungs, stubbed it out, stood up and stripped quicker than I ever had before. Fuck, what the hell was I doing? Stripping to another bro on a webcam, it seemed so fucking wierd but man I was as horny as hell and with my dick pointing straight up, I quickly realised he knew I was horny too. I typed to him, still standing, leaning over the keyboard, “ Like wot u see man” then quickly changed man to Sir! before hitting enter. “Yes boi, but it will be better to see you in real life. When are you free for me to train you up real good?” I asked him how he meant by train and he referred me to some of the pictures on the site and on another site while explaining that soon, very soon, I would be his trained cock slave. Reading what he said and looking at the pictures only made me hornier and my twitching cock gave it away. “We’ll need to get that greedy cock locked away too boi, can’t have my boys wanking without Sir’s direct permission...” I laughed out loud thinking it was a joke and Master T clearly saw this on cam. “That was NOT a joke boi, I have a CB-6000 waiting for you and you WILL be locked up until I say otherwise. Kneel down.” In my complete ignorance I asked what a CB-6000 thing was and kneeled on the floor in-front of the computer. I was still horny as hell even although this guy had managed to find out everything about me in not such a long period of time and have me do what he wants without him actually forcing me to. He replied saying I must not have done my homework well enough and not to worry cause I would be having it on very soon! He asked once again when I was free to come over. I quickly said, stupidly, that I was free all weekend.

“Excellent boi, I will be training you!” I started rubbing my dick again, hoping he wouldn’t see. Man I was horny, but I was nervous as hell about talking about this training. Over the past few hours I had learned so much and truly realised how much it got me horny. “Leave your dick alone boi, you will be punished! What’s your phone number?” I read his comment and instantly let go of my dick, this guy really did have power over me, and he didn’t even need to remind me that he could out me instantly if he wanted, but it didn’t bother me. I wanted, for some stupid fucking reason to let this guy tell me what to do and make me do it. “Eh sir, I dunno if I wanna give oot ma number the now” “OK boi, thats fine, who do you want me to tell that ur a little bitch to a man first?” I got nervous again and changed my mind, its only a number, I could change it if things got wierd and I wanted to call it off. I sent him my mobile number and started staring at my phone, excited and nervous about him calling or texting me. “Good boi! Now, I am going to phone you, you are going to pick up and we are going to discuss what time you are to meet me and what I want you do to beforehand.” “Awrite sir, no bother!” The phone rang and despite me knowing it was coming I just about jumped up with the fright, my heart was racing as I went to pick it up “Private Number”. “Good boi” His voice was gruff but soothing at the same time. “Now, while on cam, stand up and turn around, bend over and spread your crack for me to see whats now mine!” I didn’t say a word but did exactly as he wanted. He told me again I was a good boi, this pleased me more than I expected and was still hard as a rock. He told me what to do before meeting him and we talked about where I was in relation to him in Glasgow. Turned out he was only 5 minutes by car away from the centre so I could meet him in town and go back to his with him. “Boi, I want you to go to a sex shop and buy the following items, a large butt plug, lubricant, and a vibrating cock ring” “Yes Sir” I replied, thinking where the nearest sex shop was. He hung up and told me on messenger to turn off my cam and get going, and that he would text me further details. I lit up another fag as the first text came through: put your trackies back on, make sure u r as neddy as possible and get going. I finished my fag and replied Yes Sir, just leaving the house. I went on google after I got dressed and found a gay sex shop not too far from me and the city centre and found out how to go there. I was nervous, yet horny as hell. I left the house, wearing my tracksuit, a white cap, reebok classics, with only my fags, lighter, phone, keys and wallet on me... I walked round to the city centre, took ten minutes and started having second thoughts, man this guy could fuck me or make me suck his dick, eugh! I was into the domination, but wasn’t so keen on getting my arse violated. I made my way to the sex shop, looking all around me to make sure there was no cunt I new about before entering the shop. I was blushing and just about jumped out my skin when the shop helper offered me some help. “Eh, erm, aye man, just gettin some stuff for me n ma burd tae use! She’s into this kinky stuff like!” He sniggered, and clearly new my ‘burd’ was a man. I was red as a post box and started getting hard, I hoped he wouldn’t notice, but my bulge was clear through my CKs and white trackie bottoms. I pointed out a plug, and a cock ring with a vibrating egg attached and got some lube. He packed it all and I paid in cash to be discreet as possible. I walked out the shed as coy as possible with my cap pulled down and face down so not to be seen. I looked at the bag, SHIT! There was a muscled man’s silhouette on the bag! I had to walk with this bag, trying to keep with to side streets to try and avoid people. I felt my phone buzzing in my pocket, a text... “Now boi I assume you have made your purchases, I wont be meeting you in town so head to Central Station and get the train to Bridgeton, but first, stop in the toilet and remove your pants and dispose of them. If they are on when you get here, you will be punished. Text me back when they’re off.”

Holy fuck! This guy was serious and I didn’t seem to have a chance to meet him before going to his, plus I had to walk along one of the busiest streets to get the train. I was going to get on at another stop closer to me, but realised there was no bogs and nowhere to take off my knickers. I started walking briskly towards the station with my head hung low and lit up a fag. Shit, last one! I nipped into a wee shop on the way and got some, fuck there was some wee neds in the shop doing the same thing. I waited behind them in the queue while they bought their cigs and then got mine, not before one of them pointed at my bag and started laughing and telling his mates what it was. I was so embarrassed, even the shop keeper was sniggering as he handed me over my 40 fags and change. I left the shop and headed to the station, lighting up yet another fag en route to calm my nerves. When I got to the station I saw the train was leaving in 6 minutes, so quickly went to the toilets, locked myself in a cubicle and took my pants off. I thought about putting them in my bag for later, but realised I might be caught by Master T and though otherwise. I walked out the toilet and dumped my underwear in a bin before jumping on the train just before it pulled away. My phone buzzed again, this time a picture message. It was him, Master T, completely naked with handcuffs in his hand, the message read, Im just leaving for the station, you better get on a train soon. I replied instantly, just on the train Sir, be there in 5 mins. I started getting hard again, the train was busy and I had to stand, fuck! I was aware of people staring at me, my bag and now, my raging hard-on poking up through my nylon trackies. Nervous as I was, thinking of this meeting with a guy I barely knew for my first male-male experience was turning me on so much! The train announcer came over the tannoy: Next Stop, Bridgeton. My stop. My stomach was churning, my head was spinning and I was bright red with embarrassment but I knew I couldn’t turn back now, he would probably be waiting for me at the train as I got off. The next two minutes seemed to take an age to go by, then finally, the train stopped and I was at Bridgeton. For those of you who don’t know, Bridgeton isn’t the nicest part of Glasgow, its full of other neds like me, but harder, with teeth missing and shit like that, I wasn’t too comfortable with getting off with this hard on and bag in hand, but I did as I needed and stepped out into the cold air. I looked around and fortunately there was no one around, including Master T. I text him saying that I had arrived and asked what he was wearing to help me identify him. I never got a text back for a couple of minutes, I started worrying that he wasn’t going to come and I would have to make my embarrassing journey back to my house, underwear-less and horny. Then, a blue Audi RS4 pulled up beside me and I saw him for the first time in the flesh, he rolled the window down and shouted, get in the back boi, now!

I opened the door and climbed in, sitting opposite him in the back of the car. It smelled of smoke, leather and male musk, “Hi boi, glad to see you didn’t ditch on me like the other fuckwits I have had try it with me.” I laughed nevously, “Yeah man, eh, Sir! Nice motor!” He reminded me that I was to call him Sir, or Master T all times and I would be punished if I didn’t. I was still horny as hell, but worried about my fate. This guy could kill me for all he wanted and there would be little anyone could find out, I had deleted all my history. My mind was racing but deep down I knew he was all right. The guy was stunning, even better in real life. I kept staring at his face as he told me the journey was short, but he wanted to examine me before we went to his place so we were going to a deserted industrial area for him to check me out. He threw back a pair of handcuffs, proper police ones with the black plastic mould in the middle so they couldn’t be moved. “Put them on, tight!” I did as he said and was now trapped in his car with my hands cuffed between the seatbelt strap. I couldn’t get out if I wanted, not that I did. This was the horniest thing I had ever done. We drove in silence for 10 minutes, I wanted to ask him so many questions but he had told me not to speak without permission. Finally we pulled up outside a warehouse and he leaned back to undo my cuffs after pulled my trackies down over my knees. “Good lad, you followed my orders, my, my your a big boy!” I laughed again, trying to hide my embarrassment. He ordered me out the car, and told me to recuff behind me back, with my trackies lying at my ankles. I hobbled out and stood there in all my glory half naked. He revved the engine and moved the car off, I panicked and started hobbling towards the moving car, falling flat on my face, with no hands to stop my fall. I picked myself up, glad to see the car had stopped and saw him laughing at my trip. Master T climbed out the car with a cigarette behind his ear. “Thanks for the toys and smokes boi, all mine now!”. I spoke up, “Can a have a smoke please Sir?” “ I told you not to speak without permission boi! But as you are new to this and you asked so politely, you may” He pulled out my smokes and put one in his mouth and one in mine before lighting them both. I didn’t have free hands, so had to dangle my cig in my mouth while he walked around me checking me out, occasionally slapping my ass and feeling my abs. I was quite uncomfortable with him touching me, but my dick was more than happy. After he had thoroughly checked my body out he stepped back and nodded, taking a deep drag of his fag. “You’ll do boi!”. I felt so degraded and used, and I had a niggling feeling this was only the start. I finished dragging on my fag and spat it out. He commanded me back to the back of the car and opened the boot, “Get it, now!”. I stammered, “eh, whit?!!” Smack! He had hit slapped me hard on the side of my face. I was stunned, I must have started weeping. “Fucking pussy, get in the boot”. I whimpered, “Yes Sir” and tried to throw my self into the boot, which luckily for me had a blanket to land on. He grabbed my legs and tucked them in, “It’s only going to be a 5 minute drive boi, stop greeting and get a grip, you’re about to have the best weekend of your life, and so am I!” I felt comforted by his words and pulled myself together as the boot lid shut, the engine started and I lay there as the car was pulling away. I was scared, but excited. I had the biggest boner I had ever had and I was looking forward to jerking off when I got the chance, with my hands cuffed still behind my back it wasn’t possible and with it being so dark and confined I couldn’t manoeuvre them to my front to have a fondle. For the duration of the journey I just kept quiet lying in the boot, not quite sure what to think. I was awestruck by his attitude, demeanour and sheer manliness. After what seemed like a good hour (probably only 15 minutes), the car stopped and I breathed a sigh of relief. We were here, wherever here was. The boot was flung open and Master T lifted me out the boot. He quickly slung a blindfold over my face before I got a chance to take in my surroundings, which seemed like a generic housing estate. He grabbed my cock and started walking me to what I assumed was his house. I was strangely at ease for a man to be holding my cock, nay; I was aroused even more by it. I heard a door open and I carefully stepped up into the room.

“Welcome to my humble abode boi” Master said “Now, kneel down and open your mouth.” I did as he said as he closed the door, and I heard multiple locks turning. I opened my mouth and felt something hard, like a small tennis ball being shoved in my gob and something being strapped behind my neck. After some fiddling, Master stepped away and I tried to push the ball out my mouth with my tongue with no avail, it must have been one of the ball gags I had seen on the site, man, I grew even more horny! Then I felt something cold round my neck, “Boi, you will wear this for the duration of the weekend, and even longer if I feel it needs to be worn in public.” I heard a lock and realised I had been collared. I was now owned. “Kneel down boi”. I knelt there with a metal collar round my neck, a rubber ball gag planted firmly in my mouth, a leather blindfold on and my hands cuffed behind my back. I was as hard as a rock, but nervous to find out what was going to happen next. “Now boi, I am going to get you ready for a weekend of servitude, and fun before I release you back to your home comforts” Master T was laying out his plan, “ I don’t expect to be questioned and I don’t ever want to hear No as your first answer to any question I may ask you, of course when your gagged like that I don’t suppose you will be the conversation starter anyway.” He laughed. Master T whipped off my blindfold, the light hurt my eyes a little, but I was delighted to see him in his masculine form towering over me like a god! “Follow me boi” I went to stand up to follow him up the staircase in front, but Master T barked back “I did not give you permission to stand up slut, crawl!” I quickly jumped back down onto all 4s and struggled to ascend the stairs behind him with my hands cuffed. I must have looked some sight! Master T opened the door to the bathroom and pointed for me to go in, he instructed me to get in the bath, face up and to close my eyes. Once again, the leather blindfold was applied. Shit this was horny! Shit, is he going to drown me? I panicked and jumped up, only to be pushed back down by Master. “ Fuck sake boi, stay still, I’m not gonna kill ya! Relax, and trust me”. His manly, calm demeanour eased me a little and I sunk back into the bath. I felt his touch on my arms and the right cuff was removed. It was then clipped to the bar on the left side of the bath. “Be right back boi”. I was now cuffed to the bath unable to see or speak, and my boner was still raging. I must be sick. "Don't dare touch your cock!" I heard Master leave the room and listened some extensive fumbling around in the room next door, what the fuck was he doing in there?! I didn't touch my cock incase I got too excited and shot my load, which given my predicament wouldn't have been a good move. Finally, Master came back, I could smell cigarette smoke, damn I needed a fag! I heard metal knocking together, just lightly, and then my right arm was cuffed to the right side of the bath. Totally unable to move now! “Right boi, slave prep stage 1 begins” Master laughed, then blew some smoke in my direction. Aghh, this was torture; the smoke, the suspense, my raging boner not being touched! I felt something cold being squirted on my pubic area; I didn’t have a lot of pubes to begin with as I trimmed them down, but I knew what was coming… I was 100% right in my thoughts, he was shaving my pubes and dick, slowly and carefully, making sure there wasn’t a stray hair in sight. Laughing and coughing occasionally, he paused, presumably to take a drag from his fag and to admire his handy work. What a god!

With my pubes now as bald as the day I was born, I felt more and more horny. Damn, this guy was good! He leaned over and whispered, “we’re not done yet boi”! He lifted my blindfold and once again I could see his face, beautiful – God this guy is turning me into a right faggot. He took out both my diamond earrings, and my gold chain and bracelet; “Slaves don’t need these embellishments” apparently, “you’ll get them back when I release you”. “What do you think boi?” I strained to look down and I was truly bald, he really did take his time and make a good job. I mumbled “Amazing Sir!” and nodded. I was drooling by this stage and pretty thirsty, I was having a great time but wanted out of the cold bath soon to get a drink, a fag and a comfy seat. “Now boi, I’m gonna flip you over and do the back side”. Shit, why would he want my arse shaved?! I didn’t wanted fucked, well… I wanted to know get fucked, but it was taking it to a new level. I didn’t have a choice, so no point in protesting. He uncuffed my right arm at the bath side, and attached it to the left bar, then uncuffed the left cuff and attached it to the right side; this guy’s a pro, not letting my free at any point, whilst flipping me onto me knees face down. Once again, the shaving crème was applied and the razor was dragged across my bare arse and arse crack, slowly and carefully as before. I didn’t have much hair but he wanted to be sure, clearly! “We’re done boi, you look like a good wee slave” Master T chortled, “Best get you washed down and cleaned up before we move on to stage 2!” With that, he uncuffed my right arm and attached the cuffs together, then did the same with the left, double security! He turned me round just before I fell on my face and proceeded to take out my ball gag. Finally! My jaw was aching! “Well boi, how do you feel?” “Good Sir, cheers! I am so fuckin horny right now! I’m dying for a fag as well, Jeez Master, that was amazi…” He cut my verbal diarrhoea of whith a swift slap on the face “Shut up boi, your mumbling away like you’ve just discovered speech, but I am glad your having fun. Now, you thirsty?” “Aye Sir, im parched with drooling so much, please can I have a drink n a fag?” “Very well boi, I’ll get you a drink and we can have a smoke when we’re downstairs” He put my blindfold on, and there was silence, then I heard a zipper open “Open your mouth boi, I’ve got you a drink” He then started pissing straight in my mouth, I was black affronted, I didn’t know what to do. Pissing? In my mouth? I started to choke. “Swallow boy, you’ll be supping the rest out the tub if you don’t. I swallowed, trying not to gag, taking as much in my throat as possible without having to taste it. He laughed as I coughed a little, but shit, he was pissing like a stallion. He finally finished by showering me down with his piss. He rubbed it into my bald pubic area and grunted “That’s you washed down, and watered, lets get you cleaned up!”

I was totally turned off by this, my cock finally subsided and I was speechless. How could someone piss on me? Master T totally freaked me out, but he didn’t seem to think anything of it! Are people into this? What the fuck?! “What’s the matter lad, not like golden showers?” He laughed “Stay still til I clean you up”. He started the shower, shit it was cold! It soon warmed up and Master T rubbed me down. I still had my T-Shirt on, my favourite McKenzie one, it was now pissed on and soaked. Fuck. Master T turned off the shower and helped me stand up. “Now boi, I am going to un-cuff you, I don’t want any funny business or you’ll be drinking your meals from now on!” “Yes Sir” I mumbled, shivering with the cold air. I now resented even coming, how disgusting was that?! “Out the tub, come on slut, easy does it” Sir guided me over the tub. “Stand still whilst I dry you off”. I heard the sound of metal on metal again and I felt my right leg, then left leg be cuffed with a sharp click. “Not sure I could trust you to not run away before I take off your handcuffs, so these leg irons wlll reduce you to a hobble.” He uncuffed both sets of handcuffs holding my arms together and whipped off my T-Shirt “Fuckin nice body boi, felt good earlier but it looks great all covered in Goosebumps” He said as he rubbed the towel over them. I was proud of my body, with doing manual labour I had developed strong core muscles and good pair of strong arms; still, nothing like his amazing god-like physique. Following my rough towelling off, he clicked a pair of metal cuffs back on, damn they felt sexy. My libido returned a little, hey that experience wasn't that bad. “Right boi, stage 2 is coming soon, lets get that blindfold off you and go down stairs” He said as he pointed to the floor, obviously I was to crawl again. I crawled behind Master T down the stairs and into his living room. It was really nice, but had a definite man’s touch; big telly, awesome sound system and all the gadgets you could think of. He must be quite well moneyed I thought. “Right ya cheeky little cunt, sit on the floor at my feet til I catch up on Sky Sports News, I don’t wanna hear a sound out u, so here” He handed me an ashtray and a pack of fags, “Smoke away all u like but don’t fucking dare touch your dick” I sat in front of him with my back to the chair, he put his muscular legs over my shoulders pinning my in place. After watching the match highlights and us both having a good share of smokes, he said to me that it was now time for stage 2, and I was going to enjoy what was coming next. I was already boned watching the footie highlights with him, but after saying that I was rock solid. “Stay there, be right back cunt boi”

Master T came back a couple of minutes later as I finished off another smoke, wearing nothing but a pair of army camo fand boots, damn his body was amazing, I must have dropped my jaw as I saw him. “Haha boi, like what you see?” He said getting even closer. His nipple rings glistened in the light, highlighting his perfect torso, I was so aroused. “Crawl over here bitch” he beckoned as he sat down on the sofa across the room, “Lick my fucking boots clean” I don’t know what came over me but I went for them like a hungry dog, slurping and licking them all over, left then right foot then back again. “Nice work boi, I see you like my boots. C’mon upstairs”. He jogged up the stairs in front of me crawling, trying to keep pace, I tripped over on the stairs planting my face on the carpet “Ah ya fucker” I yelped. Slap. He leaned down, “I said, don’t say a fucking word earlier and I meant it, speak when spoken to, hurry up”. His verbal abuse just got me hornier, my dick was just about hitting off the stairs as I crawled to the top. I crawled after him into a room next to the bathroom where I had been shaved bald earlier, this was definitely not a bedroom, it was like a medieval torture room. Metal chains, a sling, numerous whips and paddles, wow. There were evil looking metal stocks and things I had no idea what they did, this was too horny. What kind of weirdo was I turning into, getting off on all this stuff I had only glimpsed at online?! “Right boi, stage 2 begins. Over here” He bellowed in a deep, sexy voice, pointing at the stocks. I crawled over to him standing at the stocks and looked into his eyes, for even a hint of what was coming next. “Stay” he said as he walked over, took a key out and locked the door. They key was returned to his pocked and he came back to me. “I’m going to unlock you and get you dressed in my favourite gear, seen as you have been so compliant.” I took this as a compliment and smiled, favourite gear? I wonder…

Master T reached down and unlocked my handcuffs and leg irons with care and speed, he reminded me not to say a word and do as I was “fucking told, or else”. I was completely at ease now, despite still being in a compromised situation, but I trusted him. His demeanour and attitude was so manly and powerful, yet it seemed he cared for me. He went over to a closet in the corner and rummaged around for what was presumably his favourite gear. After some time, apparently ensuring he got the right image, he shouted for me to close my eyes before being presented with my outfit. I closed my eyes and waited with baited breath for my outfit. “Right boi, open your eyes” Master whispered in my ear. I opened my eyes and saw some horny stuff… Firstly there was a leather upper body cross harness with a shiny metal cock ring, like I had seen online that afternoon, then a pair of leather shorts, then a chain with a clip on each end and finally a rubber gas mask. Jeez, if I wasn’t hard already, I was rock solid now. ”Lets get you dressed, slut” Sir said. Firstly my arms were lifted up, and the harness slid over and tightened. Then, Master grabbed my cock and slid the cock ring over to the base and popped my balls through. Master told me to lie on my back, then lifted my legs to slid on the shorts, “Boi, these aren’t any normal shorts, these are chastity shorts, just to make sure you don’t get off when I’m not looking”. He tightened them and added some padlocks. Total lockdown! “Right now boi, lets get you restrained for some training”… Master T led me behind the metal stocks and opened them up “You know what to do”. I put my wrists and neck in the recessions in the metal, the ‘lid’ was brought down and a big metal padlock was added. My legs were then restrained with cold metal shackles. Now it was complete and total lockdown, I wasn’t going anywhere. After stepping back to admire his work, Master T came back over to me and smiled “Want a fag?” He kneeled down on one knee in front of me and lit up a cigarette, blowing the smoke on my face, gawd did I want a smoke! He smoked most of it, teasing my by holding the filter near my mouth but not close enough for me to get a toke. Finally I got a good hit and exhaled. Nice. “It’s getting late boy, I had better get on before its time to lock you up for the night! Hows ur ass like a good ramming?” Master T enquired “Fuck off, you’re not fucking touching my ass” I stupidly blurted out. “Firstly, If I want to fuck you, I will. Secondly, don’t dare speak unless spoken to. Thirdly, you were doing so well, I guess I’ll need to punish you for refusing to accept whats coming to you”. Master T said calmly. “I am now going to have to whip your ass, which unfortunately means pulling down these chastity shorts, luckly there is no moving for you!” He unlocked the padlocks and pulled the shorts down with a sharp tug, my naked, bald ass free in the air. “Count em out slut, or we’ll see how long you last in that cage over there without a fag and only my piss for liquid!” WHACK! It took me a second to get what he meant to count them out “One, Master” WHACK “Two, Master” WHACK “Three Master”. This went on up to 15, by this point my ass was in agony and likely bright red. I was sobbing slightly, “Shut up pussy, that’s nothing” He said. What did he mean that was nothing, it was fucking torture and I couldn’t move to caress my butt.

“Right boi, that is enough for now” Master T said, “Now, lets have some fun, eh?!” Fun sounded good, anything to let me forget about the throbbing pain coming from my ass. Master T then moved to in front of me, ripped off a piece of silver duct tap & whapped it on my gob before I had a chance to protest. He repeated the strips of tape a few times over my mouth and down below my chin until he was confident I was going to be silenced. He then placed the S10 gas mask on my face and tightened the elastic straps behind my head. What a strange, horny sensation! The sound of my own breath through the mask was exciting me, my cock was rock hard swaying between my spread legs. Despite kneeling down on the floor with my legs locked down and my arms and head locked in a stockade, I was very comfortable and felt quite at home here. “Slut, now you are gagged and locked up, I want one nod for yes and 2 shakes for no, got it?” Nod. “Good boi, now, have you ever had anything up your hole?” I presumed he meant my ass-hole. Shake, shake. “Hehe, nice, did you expect to come here and get anything up your hole?” Shake shake. “Well boi, I am not going to fuck your tight little scally hole with my monster cock, I’ll rip you in half… We had better leave my cock out of there for now, agree?” Nod!! “Thought you might ‘say’ that”, haha! Well, the good news is I wont fuck you with my dick, infact tonight, I won’t even make you suck my dick, but you will be sleeping with a butt plug in, do you know what that is?” Nod. I knew exactly what they were, and I didn’t like the look of them. “Eager, I see boi!” Master T laughed as he walked towards his toy chest. After some rummaging around he came back with a handful of black rubber plugs in different sizes and shapes, some even had things hanging off them. Wow, what the hell was I doing here?! “Right boi, new game, I have the a 14cm plug in one hand and a 16.5cm plug in the other hand. I am going to shuffle then behind my back and the one you pick goes up your ass until breakfast tomorrow, ok?” Slow Nod. I saw they both had a wide girth but the larger one was less tapered at the base. “I’m going with your thumbs up to whichever hand you want” Nod. He then shuffled the plugs behind his back and asked the question, “Left, or Right?” I put up my left thumb. “Well boi… you’ve picked…

(Sadly it wasn't finished......if anyone wants to.....)

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. After “smells like teen spirit”. Back in Auradon. At Evie’s house. Mal’s in the kitchen making party food. Uma’s fighting a loosing battle with the swivel stool. And Celia’s sitting on the counter)

Celia: ok. I’ll bite. Why Harry. Out of all the idiots, all the boys, and Gil, that you could have chosen. Why Harry?

Uma: hm? Shit. Fuckin’. Crappy chair. What now

Mal: I can get you a proper chair if you like

Uma (slamming her palm down on the counter): I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED BY KITCHEN FURNISHINGS!!!! Ow

Mal: ok, dude. Say it. Don’t spray it.

Uma (sounding like Sideshow Bob): urgh. (Normal voice) What were you saying Ceels?

Celia: why. Harry.

Uma: he’s a good employee. Does what I say, when I say it, without argument

(Her sister and cousin look unconvinced)

Celia: you wanna tell or can I? Or if you’d prefer we can go full on Greek muse

Mal: ha. And let halfwit Harry be happy? Yeah, no, don’t think so

Uma: yeah I’m lost

Celia: toi, ma chère soeur, tu aimes le pirate

Uma: slander and blasphemy

Celia: well it’s true. Wether you like or not. You “wuv” him

Uma: you’re wrong. Mal, tell her she’s wrong

Mal: I can’t, I’m cooking. (She clears her throat) Coughshe’srightthoughcough

Uma: low blow. Even for you.

Celia: you know it. (She starts humming the “in a tree” song)

Uma: must she use that insipid song?

Mal: she’s your little sister. So yes.

Uma: I’m not, you know, with Harry

Mal: I am really not the one you should be talking to about this. If I had my way he’d be staring down the business end of a jet propeller.

Uma: yeah. You’re right. Got anymore booze?

Mal: open bar cuz, open bar.

Uma: thanks

(She reaches for a new bottle and promptly falls off the swivel stool)

Celia: HAHAHAHA!!!! Called it

Uma (popping up from the floor): I have to go

(She heads for the gazebo)

Mal: if I were you I’d go after her and knock her off the trail.

Celia: meaning you’d turn her away from Hook.

Mal: yep.

Celia: luckily for her, I’m not you.

(She gets off the counter and heads in Uma’s direction. Then she stops and turns around)

Celia: by the way. Where are Dizzy’s folks?

Mal (looking very uncomfortable): uhhhh (her eyes flit to the ceiling)...asleep...?

Celia: eh they deserve after the day they’ve had.

(Celia leaves Mal my long about Lamborghini’s, Doug’s shirt and throttling Evie, and goes to her sister)

Celia: hey

Uma (taking a swig of whiskey that empties half of the bottle): what?

Celia: just checking up on you

Uma: I’m not. It doesn’t exist.

Celia: yeah, yeah, I know. But if it worked

Uma: I am not like them. And you know I’m not. I’m (she takes another swig, emptying the bottle completely) independent

Celia: yeah the thing about they is well.

(This is when “miss independent” happens. After the song Mal poofs in)

Mal: Jay phoned. They’re just coming up to the house.

Celia: about time

Mal: oh and Uma, que pensez-vous de la livraison de Harry dans une boîte d'allumettes?

(Uma blanches and poofs to the front of the house. Mal bursts into cackles)

Celia: I hope you’ll still find it funny when you’re eating your meals through a straw.

Mal: ahh it’ll be worth it. C’mon kid

(They troop through the house and end up meeting Devie at the bottom of the stairs. Mal flings her arm over Celia’s eyes)

Mal: oh look. They’ve finally emerged from the nest (telepathically) Doug your buttons are disordered. Evie, my dear sister, you might wanna charge into your own clothes instead of Doug’s shirt

(They both look red faced and proceed to make the changes)

Mal: that’s better. (Verbally) lets go then

(Once outside they wait for the others. Jaylos, gilonnie and Jane walk up first)

Mal: where’s Ben. You said you found him

Jay: I also said I had a surprise for you

Jane: oh god tell me you didn’t

Gilonnie and Carlos: he did

Jane: fucking cats

Mal: cats? What about cats?

Jay: not cats. Ben.

Mal: uh-kay

Jay: 🎶come on out Ben🎶

(Ben poofs in. Mal promptly squeals in surprise)

Mal (euphorically, Unser her breath): it’s just like cats

Evie: ladies gentleman and pirates. I give you the acting queen of auradon

Mal: oh blow it out your ass sis or I’ll tell them about you’re last wardrobe choice

Evie: I’ll shut up

Lonnie: now that the king and his fiancé are safe. There’s something I’ve been waiting a year to do. You’re Uma yeah?

Uma: yeah

Lonnie: awesome

(She launches herself at Uma and tackles the sea witch to the ground)

Uma: what the fuck!

Lonnie: what’s your problem with Mal anyway? Huh? Is it that she’s more powerful then you? Or that she got away first? Oh don’t worry. I know what she did. And I don’t care. That’s who she was not who she is. But you did what she did. And you did worse. You were angry. And you lashed out at the first person you could. So how are you any different

Uma: get this crazy bitch offa me!

Mal: Lonnie! Lonnie, we’re cool now! So if could I uh hehe?

Lonnie: really? Well alright then.

Ben: got it all out of your system?

Lonnie: mostly. Might be some residual anger that’ll present itself at an inopportune time. But for now I’m ok.

Mal: cool. How about we get you a drink?

Lonnie: appletini?

Mal: more then doable. Let’s get you inside, Evie wipe that smirk off your face, and get you a nice appletini on the rocks yeah? (Lonnie nods) yeah...

(Mal and lonnie go in. Ben approaches Uma)

Ben: I’m sorry about her. She kinda got left out last year and today’s been awful for everyone concerned. She just snapped

Uma: don’t make allowances for her kid ok? I don’t make allowances for Harry

Carlos: no, of course not, you just let him get away with blue murder

Uma: don’t you have a genie to be cowering behind?

Carlos: not after the mirror, no. But I could repeat the process if you like? (Uma shuts up) good

(Jaylos go into the house. Uma turns around and looks at Jane who is not impressed)

Uma: hey, which one are you

Jane: I don’t want to talk to you. You enslaved my mother. And you boyfriend looked at me like I was food

(She follows jaylos into the house. Evie is tight lipped with barely contained glee)

Evie: today has been raining shower of crap but it’s gotten so much better in the last half hour

(Dizzy walks up to them followed by Hades, Elsa and the Hooks)

Dizzy: grandpa wouldn’t let jay keep Harry in a matchbox

Doug: awww honey, but you know what, there are mountains of cupcakes on the buffet table in the kitchen. Why don’t you go and show Celia?

Dizzy (turning to Celia): now you’re gonna see Wendy kinda magic I can do

(The two head inside)

Doug: I’m gonna head to the garage. You go inside, enjoy the party

Evie: meet me when you’re done?

Doug: goes without saying

(Devie leaves the patio, leaving Ben, Gil, Uma, Hades, Elsa and the Hooks)

Ben: I need to change, starting to feel chilly. Gil could I borrow some of your clothes? I’d poof but I knibda want time to think

Gil: sure

(The two brothers head inside)

Elsa: you haven’t lived until you’ve had my daughter cooking. And I’m starving so I shan’t keep you

Hades: I’ve heard only good things about my daughters cooking. So I’ll join you

Elsa: perfect(.)

(The two head inside)

Uma: tension much?

Cj: typical case of biological father vs adoptive mother both trying to assert their place in the child’s life

Harriet: huh?

Cj: pissing contest. You know what? You three head in. I just remembered something

(She heads to the garage where Doug’s pulling a motor engine in and out of a hole in the ground by a metal chain)

Cj: so you’re the half dwarf who grievously injured my brother

Doug: I stabbed Harry in the dick as he was trying to kill me. Also. It’s been a year. Get over it already.

Cj: a Hook doesn’t forget. Nor do they forgive.

Doug: you know there’s a subdivision of Eton here. I’m sure you’d be able to get a scholarship

Cj: hah. Boys club. And besides. When this is all over I’m going back home and doing away with my father.

Doug: yeah, sure, whatever. Now are you going to stand there gawking like a haddock or are you going to leave me to my own devices?

Cj: I should like to see what happens when the chain breaks or you’re strength gives up.

Doug: won’t break. Dwarven titanium. Magic.

Cj: I know what dwarven titanium is. I’m not as uneducated as the remaining plebs on the island

Doug: yeah. I know. I read your file. (He puts the engine down) I also know that you’re James Hook’s least favourite child. I know who your cousin is. And I know that you’re allergic to vinegar. Which is rather depressing since that’s the only readily available condiment on the island besides rock salt. Don’t mess with me kid. I’m the major-domo.

Cj: so you’re the hornbill to the maneless leonine. Alright then. If you’re do intelligent. Tell me. What goes through your mind when you’re face to face with the sister of the man you viciously attacked and left for dead?

Doug: of course he told you that. I don’t leave the numbskull for dead. Elsa, Merida and I delivered him to the ship and Uma revived him.

Cj: they wouldn’t lie. Not to

Doug: each other yes. But everyone else is fair game. Believe what you wanna believe. I’m going inside to make my kid a snack. I make a mean pb&j. Oh. And I’m not scared of you Miss Hook. I lived through my worst nightmare today so you’re of little to no consequence to me. And stay away from the cars. I’ll know if you don’t.

(He leaves her looking slightly shocked and runs into Mal on the patio bench. She’s holding a sandwich)

Mal: blt?

Doug: beef instead of bacon?

Mal: baloney. Fried on one side, salted on the other. Minced tinned tomatoes. Iceberg lettuce. I know my friends lunch orders.

Doug: you’re a marvel Mal

Mal: not really. I just cook when I’m nervous. Or bored. Or worrying. Or planning a party. Which in this case was all of the above.

Doug: ah. You covered (she hold up a beer bottle) naturally. Wanna sit

Mal: sure. I’ve been on my feet for most of the day

Doug: I’ve been thinking

Mal: yeah?

Doug: oh god this is gonna be difficult. I know you’ve made up your mind and Ben, Jay, everyone, won’t hold it against you if you choose not to. But I think it’s time

Mal: time for what?

Doug: to. Start helping

Mal: oh boy. Ok look. I get it. I do. I get it. But we tried. I tried. And came back with produce in my hair. We all did

Doug: that was six months ago. And besides. (He pulls her off the bench and has her face the window). Look. Vk and Ak. Somewhat peacefully. Coexisting. All because you kept a handle on things when everything else had gone crappy

Mal: eh. Though my cousins about to pelt my sister with apples. Hey jay? Could you? Thanks. What’re you suggesting bud?

Doug: start off with FaceTime. Say once a month Ben FaceTimes you when he goes to the island. And work your way up. It could work

Mal: my being rhere would grind everything to a halt. They’d be focused on me and not on Ben

Doug: true. But you have got to step up some more. You can’t hide behind the curtain forever

Mal: I know

Doug: come on

(This is when “collision of worlds” happens. After the song Mal turns to the party still going on inside)

Mal: I’ve been an ass haven’t I?

Doug: no, not an ass. Just yourself

Mal: somehow that doesn’t make me feel any better. I suppose I should go talk to him

Doug: you do that

Mal: before I forget. (She tackles him in a bear hug). Thank you. Now I’ll go.

(She poofs into Gils room where Ben is currently trying on a pair of aquamarine trousers with yellow braces)

Mal: you know if I had my way, that’d be all you’d have on

Ben: if you had your way, I’d still have the tattered bike pants on

Mal: touché. But why the 13th Doctor cosplay? And more to the point, why Gil’s 13th Doctor cosplay?

Ben: well I did just spend two hours traipsing through the forest, half naked, accompanied by, among others, your birth father and adoptive mother. So I feel like I should cover up a bit

Mal: fair is fair. Speaking of. A few questions. Who did it to you? Why did they do it? Can I kill them? And is it like my dragon form or is it a one and done deal?

Ben: my father, your birth mother and Chad. To get rid of me. Yes you can. And yes I can.

Gil: Harry ran his mouth and Ben switched and chased him for half a mile

Mal: he’s a moron. Oh and by the way. I sorry about the boys.

Gil: I know. I still don’t get why Adam did that

Ben: he’s a heartless up his own ass opportunistic bastard. That’s why

Mal: finally letting loose with the swears I see

Gil: “bastard” is nothing. My baby brother right here gave Adam the mother father uncle and aunt of all call outs. He even used the “count without the O” word

Mal: I’m impressed

Gil: it was amazing. I’m so proud

Ben: shoulders buddy, shoulders

Gil: right, sorry, my bad

Mal: before I forget. I made an omelette station downstairs. And a smoothie bar.

Gil: see ya!

(He rushes downstairs leaving bal alone)

Mal: so I’ve been thinking about the wedding

Ben (putting the coat on): yeah?

Mal: mhmm. I’m guessing we have to have it in the cathedral cause yknow, royalty, but we can still plan the reception yeah?

Ben: correct? What were you thinking

(Mal clicks her left hand and brings her arm down, shifting them to a new location in the process)

Mal: were you there your post coronation rave. Bookends and all that

Ben: oooh I like it

Mal: I’ve even thought of the song for our dance

Ben: I think I know where you’re going with this and I love it. And I’m in a tux. (He feels the top hat) with bunny ears. Huh

Mal: from my dream last night so was this

(She now has the purple Aurora dress on)

Ben (impressed): wow

Mal: not to fancy. But not too modern. And I’m wearing flats so stent dwarfed in comparison by me

Ben: well I could always activate my beast paws.

Mal: might give your mother a heart attack

Ben: true. True

Mal: well then your highness. Shall we practice?

Ben: yes we shall

(This is when “at the beginning” happens. After the song the school exterior melts back into the spare room. Mal’s eyes flash fuchsia and she collapses into Ben’s arms)

Ben: woah! You alright?

Mal: yeah. I just gotta talk to my father

(She switches back into her previous outfit and trots back downstairs where Evie’s hosting a singalong. This is when “better when I’m dancing” happens. After the song she walks outside)

Mal: dad I need a word. You too Uma. You’ll want to see this. (Once they’ve sat down she hands a scrap of paper to hades). Does this mean anything to you?

Hades (Jesse L Martin): “when the day becomes the night...no time for tea...before my final rhyme...return home....turn back the hands of...”. It’s one of the Cheshire cats forsaken riddles. Why do you ask?

Mal: I was talking to Ben just now and everything turned dark fuchsia for a sec, like when my eyes when I use magic, and I heard Doctor Facillier say that in my head. It’s not a prophecy is it?

Hades: no. The last prophecy I remember hearing was the Fates telling me I’d rule the cosmos. Followed by Herc beating me. Why would you think it’s a prophecy?

Mal: uhhhh

Uma: no. NO! YOU DO NOT GET THAT AS WELL AS EVERYTHING ELSE! I REFUSE TO LET THAT HAPPEN

Hades: I’m afraid I’m not following

Mal: I’ve got all the hallmarks. Powerful parents. Double heritage. Annoying brother. Really it should be Ben though. Or you cuz

Uma: really? Me?

Mal: yah. You’re much better qualified

Hades: haha. It’s funny. You’ve spent so much time trying to kill her. And she still think you’re better than her

Uma: what’s your point?

Hades (smiling smugly, he’s eyes glowing bright yellow): be very careful about who you piss off my dear

Uma: don’t test me uncle

Hades: and don’t test ME niece

Mal: >snickers<. Sorry. Anyway. So rhere really isn’t a prophecy built around me?

Hades: nope. not even close

The cousins: oh thank god

Hades: would it really be so bad if it were though?

Mal: most likely yes

Uma: she doesn’t even have the cajones necessary to get kids off the island. Why would she be so sort of cliched chosen one

Mal: HEY! You know why I don’t go. I told you why I don’t go. My reasons are my reasons. And you don’t get to say anything to me after the crap you’ve pulled to one up me when I personally couldn’t care less

Uma (oh so very smug): face it cousin. I’ve got moral high ground in this one

Mal: and you had face it “cousin”, that you have a thing for my brother

Uma: not really no seeing as I hate him and he’s only into guys...

Mal: not the fun one. The rat one

Uma (experiencing face freeze): huh?

Mal: well Harry’s my brother and you’re my second cousin which means he’s also your second cousin. And if I read the signals right possibly your almost stepbrother

Uma: I’m gonna kill you

Hades: no you won’t niece. It doesn’t matter. You knew him long before your father and I -ahem- “joined” together and your Olympian dna only counts the parents with said dna. You’re not related to my second son, Uma. And I have absolutely no intention at all of claiming you as my adoptive daughter. So, to use the modern turn of phrase, you’re golden. Is that better

Uma: sort of

Mal (at the same time as Uma): dammit.

Hades: good. Now that that’s all settled. Shall we rejoin the party?

Uma: in a minute

Hades: oh Kronos what is it now?

Uma: did you bring me out here just to say that Harry’s my cousin? Or to talk about the prophecy that isn’t?

Mal: first one. But you pressed my buttons so I wanted to throw you from your comfort zone

Uma (nodding): alright. I respect that. HOWEVER! Don’t look at me like that dragonhide. However. The fact remains you’ve gotta grow a pair and get out there. Your own feelings be damned. It’s not about you

Mal: When has it ever been about me?

Uma: butterfinger boy’s made his whole vendetta about you lousing up his home

Mal: thank you Uma, thanks for the help

Hades: ooh. I know what to do

Mal: smite Harry and save us from his unneeded existence?

Hades: no. You need a pep talk

Mal: no. Please don’t

Uma: actually. I wanna hear what he has to say

Hades: thank you Uma. But you probably won’t like what I have to say

(This is when “who I am” happens)

[drabbleideas]

Lyrics Prompt List

1. “The pictures that you sent me, they're still living in my phone, I admit I like to see them, I'll admit I feel alone.” – [Amnesia – 5 Seconds of Summer]

2. “How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around? I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown.” – [Arms – Christina Perri]

3. “Can't find a reason for these feelings Clouding up above me Cause God—he told me Said he's gonna send me something lovely.” – [Around My Head – Cage the Elephant]

4. “You just want attention, you don't want my heart Maybe you just hate the thought of me with someone new Yeah, you just want attention, I knew from the start You're just making sure I'm never gettin' over you.” – [Attention – Charlie Puth]

5. “Another day, and I’m somewhere new I made a promise that I’ll come home soon Bring me back, bring me back to you.” – [Beside You – 5 Seconds of Summer]

6. “And this is how it feels when I ignore the words you spoke to me, And this is where I lose myself when I keep running away from you! And this is who I am when, when I don't know myself anymore, And this is what I choose when it's all left up to me.” – [Breathe Into Me – RED]

7. “The rain is falling on my window pane But we are hiding in a safer place Under covers, staying dry and warm You give me feelings that I adore.” – [Bubbly – Colbie Caillat]

8. “I tell myself, 'cause every second like this feels like hell Are these words that you gave me real? I can't tell... It doesn't matter, 'cause nothing matters I'll see you again in a dream so far away...” – [Circles – YusukeKira]

9. “You are my getaway You are my favorite place We put the world away Yeah we're so disconnected.” – [Disconnected – 5 Seconds of Summer]

10. “It's all ending I gotta stop pretending who we are You and me I can see us dying, are we?” – [Don’t Speak – No Doubt]

11. “I want you for a lifetime So if you're gonna think twice, baby I don't wanna know, baby, I don't wanna know.” – [Don’t Think Twice – Utada Hikaru]

12. “You won't go lonely into this fight If you just hold me we will survive.” [Every Time the Rain Comes Down – Anna Blue]

13. “This is not what I intended I always swore to you I'd never fall apart You always thought that I was stronger I may have failed, but I have loved you from the start.” – [Fall For You – Secondhand Serenade]

14. “I won't wait for you forever, for you forever So, don't you say it's for the better, it's for the better 'Cause I can't take later than never, later than never No, I won't wait for you forever.” [For You Forever – Set It Off]

15. “So I drown it out like I always do Dancing through our house With the ghost of you.” – [Ghost of You – 5 Seconds of Summer]

16. “So I'll be waiting for the real thing I'll know it by the feeling The moment when we're meeting Will play out like a scene straight off the silver screen.” – [Gotta Be Somebody – Nickelback]

17. “Why do you put me on a pedestal? I'm so up high that I can't see the ground below So help me down you've got it wrong, I don't belong there.” – [Halo – Haley James Scott]

18. “I don't care what people say when we're together You know I wanna be the one to hold you when you sleep I just want it to be you and I forever I know you wanna leave So c'mon baby be with me so happily.” – [Happily – One Direction]

19. “I might be selfish but I’ve given up on everything Your pain is my new drug And guess what, I am getting fuckin’ high.” – [Hurt you – Phedora]

20. “The world slows down But my heart beats fast right now I know this is the part Where the end starts.” – [I Hate This Part – The Pussycat Dolls]

21. “Love of mine, someday you will die But I'll be close behind and I'll follow you into the dark No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white Just our hands clasped so tight, waiting for the hint of a spark.” – [I Will Follow You Into the Dark – Death Cab for Cutie]

22. “I warned myself that I shouldn't play with fire But I can tell that I'll do it one more time.” – [I Warned Myself – Charlie Puth]

23. “Is it wrong for me to not want half? I want all of you, all the strings attached.” – [If I Can’t Have you – Shawn Mendes]

24. “Keep telling me that it gets better Does it ever?” – [In My Blood – Shawn Mendes]

25. “Bask in the glory Of all our problems 'Cause we got the kind of love It takes to solve 'em.” – [Issues – Julia Michaels]

26. “You see her when you close your eyes Maybe one day you'll understand why Everything you touch surely dies.” – [Let Her Go – The Passengers]

27. “Our memories are just a kiss away I'm still in love with every word you say.” – [Like the Way I Do – Cascada]

28. “Well, my girl's in the next room Sometimes I wish she was you I guess we never really moved on.” – [Lips of an Angel – Hinder]

29. “Let’s raise a glass or two To all the things I’ve lost on you Tell me are they lost on you? Just that you could cut me loose After everything I’ve lost on you Is that lost on you?” – [Lost On You – LP]

30. “I still wear your t-shirt out All the ink is faded now I wonder who you're dreaming of tonight.” – [On Your Side – The Veronicas]

31.“The darkest night never felt so bright with you by my side.” – [Outer Space/Carry On – 5 Seconds of Summer]

32. “Don’t give up Don’t give in to fear Even when I’m gone I will still be here.” – [SOS – Elizaveta]

33. “You already know that you’re my weakness After all this time I’m just as nervous Every time you walk into the room I’m speechless.” – [Speechless – Dan + Shay]

34. “So say the word and I'll be running back to find you A thousand armies won't stop me I'll break through I'll soar the endless skies for only one sight Of your starlight.” – [Starlight – Starset]

35. “If You can calm the raging sea You can calm the storm in me You're never too far away You never show up too late.” – [Stars – Skillet]

36.   “Some things just, some things just make sense And one of those is you and I.” [Still Into You – Paramore]

37. “I never needed anything from you And all I ever asked was for the truth You showed your tongue and it was forked in two Your venom was lethal, I almost believed you.” – [Take What You Want – Post Malone]

38. “Call me in the morning to apologize Every little lie gives me butterflies Something in the way you’re looking through my eyes Don’t know if I’m gonna make it out alive.” – [Teeth – 5 Seconds of Summer]

39. “I wish that I could take you to the stars I’d never let you fall and break your heart And if you wanna cry or fall apart I’ll be there to hold you.” – [Through the Dark – One Direction]

40. “All those crazy things we did Didn’t think about it, just went with it You’re always there, you’re everywhere But right now I wish you were here.” – [Wish You Were Here – Avril Lavigne]

41. “And when you come my heart will be waiting To make sure that you’re never alone There and then all my dreams will come true, dear There and then I will make you my own.” – [Moondance – Michael Bublé]

42. “With each word your tenderness grows Tearing my fears apart And that laugh that wrinkles your nose Touches my foolish heart.” – [The Way You Look Tonight – Michael Bublé]

43. “I’m sorry that I hurt you It’s something I must live with everyday And all the pain I put you through I wish I could take it all away.” – [The Reason – Hoobastank]

44. “All my life I thought it’d be hard to find The one ‘til I found you And I find it bittersweet ‘Cause you gave me something to lose.” – [Love Someone – Lukas Graham]

45. “I wouldn’t even know what love is If we never met.” – [If We Never Met – John Kricfalusi]

46. “I know we didn't end it like we're supposed to And now we get a bit tense I wonder if my mind just leaves out all the bad parts I know we didn't make sense.” – [What A Time – Julia Michaels]

47. “Would you rescue me? Would you get my back? Would you take my call when I start to crack? Would you rescue me?” – [Rescue Me – OneRepublic]

48. “And I tend to close my eyes when it hurts sometimes I fall into your arms I'll be safe in your sound 'til I come back around.” – [Someone You Loved – Lewis Capaldi]

49. “I'll reach my hands out in the dark And wait for yours to interlock I'll wait for you.” – [Don’t Give Up On Me – Andy Grammer]

50. “You're never gonna get it I'm a hazard to myself I'll break it to you easy This is hell, this is hell.” – [You Don’t Have to Dance – Andy Black]

[frizzyanya]

The Untamed Episode 14, My Commentary!

Reader beware, spoilers below....

Of note, this is when my friends corrected me and said that it was supposed to be “LWJ” rather than “LZ” and I corrected it. Hopefully that explains the change.

WWX PUT LWJ’S HEADBAND BACK ON TO HELP HIM I LOVE THAT MAN

“I guess we have to stay here for a period of time.” Oh, whatever shall you do, you poor dears.

Also can I just say how impressive it was that WWX so successfully put the headband on correctly, through LWJ’S hair, which I may add is STILL PULLED BACK PERFECTLY?

WWX: “Death by a monster that is ten thousand years old will not be shameful when people find out, right?!” (paraphrased)(I paused there, I’m predicting reactions) LWJ’s eyes got wide and he’s like!?!??! Now it’s a choose your own adventure, and the options are: : 1. “WHAT THE ACTUAL F.” 2. “You dumdum!!” 3. “..........” (nothing, because that’s what he usually says) “I don’t want you to die, thanks.”

The winner was that they straight up cut away after his eyes got big, so we shall never know. I assume the “……….” one though.

THEY’RE COLLECTING WEAPONS. 

YES GOOD, THIS IS GOOD.

Oh they cut the strings from the bows, brilliant.

LWJ’s finger lit up blue like ET, I’m DYING. Their abilities change by the second.

“We’ll fight until the last breath. Let’s see who will die first.” Yeah, no, thanks very much, but don’t do that.

If there are what appear to be smelly mummified bodies, yeah, DON’T GO NEAR THEM, WWX.

FUCKIN HELL DO NOT LET THE MUMMIES’ EYES OPEN.

Wait I’m just now realizing that these aren’t his inner thoughts. 

ARE THEY CONNECTED BY TELEPATHY OR SOMETHING????

Seriously, what they are able to do is changing by the minute.

It’s so hard to watch and type correctly but I’m doing my best, y’all.

WWX...tried to pull the sword out of the ground? Okay Arthur……

Wait, I am VERY confused. He’s…...inside of the shell? And the basilisk is also inside? But the basilisk is now sized such that this shell must be the size the cave originally was?

WWX holding onto the sword that’s stuck in the bottom of the basilisk’s jaw is GREAT. Idk is this scene was fun to shoot or just made him SUPER dizzy.

THIS IS IN NO WAY HOW GRAVITY WORKS

But let’s ignore that I guess

LWJ straining to save WWX by attempting to slice its throat with the string is INTENSE

And now the sword itself is bleeding?!?!?!?! WHAT EVEN IS THIS SHOW.

Oh nevermind. LWJ and WWX both have bloody hands from their endeavors.

THE SWORDS ARE SHAKING

I’m about to LOVE this, aren’t I!??!!??!

LWJ pulling WWX out of the WATER IS??!?!?!?!??!? OMG?!?!??!??!

He’s walking, so that’s good!

Wait no he’s unconscious.

DO TELL ME, HOW DOES ONE WALK WHILE UNCONSCIOUS.

Lol

Okay, so we moved to a NON WangXian scene (is there a WWX/LWJ portmanteau? I don’t know one.) AND I DON’T LIKE IT.

Bad Guy and Other Bad Guy discussing Bad Guy Things. 

Ugh. The puppet lair scenes are so stressful. :( 

I have to pee SO BAD but I refuse to leave.

Now it’s WWX’s turn to spit up blood.

These babies try so hard.

Okay so WWX looks like he’s dying and I just keep waiting for him to say that True Love’s Kiss is all that will save him.

“Lan Zhan, I didn’t think I would survive this.” *starts to die* “Wei Ying! You have a fever.” “DO NOT FUCKING DIE ON ME. HERE LET ME SAVE YOU LIKE NBD, BECAUSE I’M A REAL LIFE ANGEL ALL IN WHITE.”

Is this using up LWJ’s strength? Because I love that trope. That would be excellent.

IF HE SINGS FOR HIM

PLEASE LWJ

I MEAN, PLEASE WRITERS, LET WANG YIBO SING.

I think I’m watching the wrong thing. 

I think the video got messed up.

I think Netflix is accidentally sending me to a youtube fanvid montage of all of their cute scenes.

This is…………………….I FUCKING CAN’T. It’s their whole story with them singing over it. THIS IS TOO FUCKING MUCH.

I ABSOLUTELY 100% CAN FUCKING NOT.

You better believe I’m replaying that entire montage right now.

This song (Wu Ji with both of them singing) is on my playlist so I’ve probably listened to it like 20 times. I’M ALREADY OBSESSED WITH IT AND YOU PUT THIS VIDEO OVER TOP. OH MY FUCKING LORD.

They’re both losing strength it seems! I’m just AHHHHHHHH

Poor WWX passed out.

THEY’RE OUTSIDE?!?! 

DID LWJ CARRY HIM OUT?!?!?!

WHAT HAPPENED??!!?!?

HOW DID HE DO THAT?!??!

…………...Wait. LWJ LEFT?!?!?!?!?!!!??!?!?!?!?!?! HE LEFT HIM!?!??!?!!?!?!?!?!??!

I’m not okay with this! My own favorite character is now on my shit list. Is that possible? Is that allowed.

So JZX and JC were their saviors. That’s good I guess. Though the pair of them surviving for 7 days with no food is……..I’m just like a’ight.

Oh, SHIT. Everything was taken over by the Wen Clan.

Damn them.

Though Bad Guy has disappeared to look for the Yin Iron, so that’s Not Great Dan.

Separately, I really, really, really, really like the arm circle thing instead of shaking hands or hugging. It’s amazing and I want to adopt it.

“WWX, this time if you’re alive, I’m not going to spare you.” JUST LIKE HE SHOULDN’T HAVE SPARED YOU, BAD GUY.

They’re back to Jiang Clan. 

JYL is soooo pretty.

WWX passed out again! I feel like that means we deserve another cute montage, right?!

Lol jk

Is WWX in JYL’s room? Is she delicately taking care of him?!? I LOVE IT.

AND JC TOO.

I’M SO HERE FOR THIS ADORABLE SCENE.

THEY’RE PRECIOUS.

Papa came too!

Mama Jiang needs to stay tf away though or I will throw hands.

Both of the boys when talking to Papa Jiang are THE BEST. Trying to talk up the other.

NO.

EVIL MAMA JIANG IS HERE.

Ugh, how did I know.

She’s SO MEAN

To both JC and WWX!

WAIT WHAT

Ohhhhh so she’s angry WWX might be a Jiang bastard?

And that Papa Jiang loves WWX’s mother? Okay so that’s no excuse to be cruel to him!!!!! Didn’t we learn ANYTHING from Harry Potter, people?!! Spoiler alert, Snape was the BAD GUY. 

Okay, Imma call her Lady Snape from now on.

“He’s not stricter towards me, he just doesn't like me or my mother.” (paraphrased) NOOOO BABYYYYY.

Poor thing. I mean, seems like he’s right, but also poor thing.

THIS BROTHERLY LOVE SCENE WITH WWX TELLING JC HE’LL BE A GOOD LEADER IS EVERYTHING, MY HEART ABSOLUTELY CAN NOT HANDLE IT.