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switch-writer · 4 months

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Blueberry haired and Raspberry haired

A/N: AHHH THIS IS SO LATE, BUT HEY @stopiteatpopcorn , I WAS YOUR SQUEALING SANTA. I hope you like it and that it was worth the wait! I didn’t wanna force myself to write this because as someone who’s your friend, and as I do with all squealing Santa events, I PUT MY ALL INTO IT. And we know when we force ourselves to write, it’s just, BLAH. But hopefully you like it! I also kept texting you to subtly get ideas or know if I could write something so HAHA👹 I wanna thank a new friend of mine (who ironically isn’t in the tickle community) for giving me the idea of how to even START THIS FIC. So thank them👺🫵 I ALSO WANNA THANK OUR HOST FOR SQUEALING SANTA THIS YEAR. Always amazing to work with the host, and our host this year was lovely and understanding, so thank you! And without further rambling, this was fun to write and I hope you enjoy!

Summary: Shanks and Buggy cross paths, and the flashy clown has to figure out how to avoid a fight with Shanks without spilling everything. Meanwhile, Shanks isn’t too concerned and helps his friend lighten up… with some teasing of course.

Extra note: I didn’t proof read so there maybe spelling errors 🤡

Warnings: Tickles, foot tickles, I don’t remember if there’s swearing, I don’t think there’s anything else.

See. This was unexpected. In fact, if you told Buggy this was a day he’d meet Shanks once again. Not even close to the top of his guesses. Yet, here he was, making eye contact with Shanks…

And he was horrified. His crew was cheering and ready to loyally watch their captain take on a rival, one of the strongest pirates of the sea, the famous red haired Shanks! This was beyond exciting, they could barely contain their joy as they stood behind their Captain.

As for This Captain… The blue haired Captain was trembling in pure shock, not only did he know of Shank’s power… but Shanks had the power to piss him off like no other. It was like it’s own devil fruit.

So here Buggy was, trembling in some sort of mixed emotion as the red haired pirate smiled in a laid back manner, as if aware of his feelings and chose to observe.

“Dammit! Make the first move!”

“Haha! Clowns first, you know that rule!” Shanks called with his confident yet relaxed tone, not worried in the slightest as he teased. However, this comment happened to make an emotion in Buggy take dominance…

Anger.

“NOSE?! I NOSE THAT RULE—?! Why You Little—!”

And the chop chop fruit went to work as Buggy split in two pieces, namely his torso ‘chopped’ off from his waist, and he and his torso went straight up to Shanks, flying up to him.

“YOU BETTER NOT SAY ANOTHER WORD OF MY NOSE—!” Buggy squawked, Shanks letting a soft laugh out as he flashed a smile. “Ah, you never change, Buggy.” The pirate with a higher bounty spoke with those hazed eyes, causing more complaints from the blue haired pirate.

“WHAT?! I’ve changed lots, mind you! You just don’t know it yet, you haven’t seen anything yet!” His hands detached as he gripped Shanks by his shirt, poking his chest as well as the fellow pirate smirked softly, amused by how easily provoked Buggy happened to be.

Meanwhile, Buggy’s crew was in awe. “Captain is handling Red Haired like he’s not afraid of a thing he could do… our Captain is unbeatable!” They cheered out, snapping the squawking and squabbling pirate out of his focus to glance back at the crew he led.

“…Hmph.” Buggy huffed, calming down… as much as Buggy could.

“You have quite a crew, a supportive one at that.” Shanks spoke with a calming tone, sounding… happy for Buggy. The clown seemed shocked, becoming choked up as his crew members continued to cheer…

“Hah! Of course! We’re the best crew around!” The Chop Chop Man exclaimed cockily. “Haha! Of course you are.” Shanks commented. “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean! That sounded sarcastic!” Buggy scolded before crossing his arms despite his hands still gripping Shanks’ shirt.

But within a couple moments, Buggy and Shanks went into private, just a simple little room as their crews stood back and let them ‘sort things out’ and whatnot. In actuality, they were just going to chat so Buggy could avoid the fight and not get bested in combat so miserably.

So here they were… And this was… horribly awkward. Especially now that Buggy stopped whining.

“…Well aren’t you going to say something?!”

Nevermind.

“We have time, don’t we? Tell me, what’s the recent?” Shanks spoke calmly, his charming smile always remaining on his face. Although, this question managed to make the clown defensive.

“Lots of things! Of course we’re planning on storming the grand line, finding all the treasure in the world, and taking out every pirate we cross!” Buggy protests, refusing to show any small bumps in this little plan of his. “Oh?” The redhead spoke before adding onto his sentence.

“So what about me then?” “Eh?” The blueberry— I mean blue haired man seemed flustered. “You said you’d destroy any pirates in your way… right?” “W-Well, yes—!” Buggy spoke with little confidence, trying to avoid what Shanks was implying.

“So, why not go up against me?”

Oh come on! He made this impossible to avoid! What excuse would even make sense other than ‘I’m a wussy!’

“Because… I have my reasons and I don’t need to explain them!”

That caused a moment of silence, his fumbled sentence made his reasons a mystery, and that seemed to surprise Shanks since usually Buggy couldn’t keep a thing from him.

“…Oh? Well… in that case, Buggy.” Shanks began before grinning.

“Let’s play a game.”

The Genius Jester seemed to be caught off guard once more, but listened intently.

“I’ll try and get you to confess your reasonings, and you resist.” And that seemed easy enough, thank goodness! Hah! This will obviously be easy! So, Buggy pridefully crossed his arms and stuck up his nose— erm, stuck up his chin, as if radiating his ego with his body language.

“Hah! Do your worst!” The Clown spoke as the lacking strawhat Captain seemed glad he had fallen into his little game. His little trap.

Shanks slowly stood from his seat, and slowly approached Buggy… and walked behind Buggy.

Was this an intimidation tactic? Buggy couldn’t tell! But it was horrifying! Horrific even! “Hey—! Watch it—!” Buggy attempted to speak before suddenly letting a shriek out, feeling a little bit of a tickle… or rather multiple tickles around his neck as he quickly tried to flip around.

And as expected, he was met with that smile… but with a mischievous hint to it.

“Still got weaknesses from our days as rookies?”

No.

“Don’t—!” Buggy fumbled. “Why not? It clearly still works.”

Don’t.

“T-That doesn’t mean it’s fair!” The clown exclaimed before a small chuckle left Shanks. “Well, consider it payback since you never played fair.”

And despite that, Buggy couldn’t think of another word before his own laughter bubbled out of his throat from tickling around his belly, causing loud but the famously silly laughs from Buggy. They were more authentic and less dramatized!

Only authentic for the ‘fan’ who’s been there since the start.

“Do you give in?” “N-NEHEVER! Nohot a chance—!”

And suddenly, Shanks raised him up from the chair and pushed him with his arm onto the bed, causing Buggy to fall right over. And within a moment, Shanks was sitting on his waist, spidering and scribbling his fingers on the clown’s belly, causing everything but him staying quiet, nor still as he snorted, his limbs flailing yet never reaching where he needed them to.

“S-SHAHAAAANKS!”

“Oho. That was like a battle cry. What’s up?” “PFF— QUHUIT IT! I-I demahand you s-stohop it!” “Oh? Hmm… no can do. I haven’t heard anything but laughing from you, and I definitely didn’t hear any reasons.”

Oh come on! Buggy would’ve sulked if he wasn’t smiling bigger and brighter than a star, but out of the blue… he felt something. He finally didn’t feel tickling all over his belly, but he also felt Shanks.. oh no. Nonono. Not this. Not again. What’s with happy people who wear strawhats or have worn strawhats and this—?!

“Wait—! Waitwaitwait—! Shanks—! Don’t you dare—!” Buggy protests, trying to grab at Shanks before Shanks flipped himself around, now facing his lower half and slipped his shoe off.

“Alright! I’ll count down. 3…”

“SHANKS—!”

“2…”

“Don’t—! Don’tyoueven—!”

“1!”

And due to Shanks knowing how to work around lacking an arm, he sat on his leg, good for Shanks! But awful for Buggy who couldn’t move his foot.

And the moment he felt the gentle touch of Shank’s fingers skittering around, he admittedly was laughing like a hyena, not that it’s inherently out of character for him, but not something you’d hear everyday. Admittedly, as loud as Buggy was, after he’d squeal, he’d start laughing more… softly? It still had the raspiness in his voice, but it was much softer after he got used to the feeling.

“Kitchee koo?”

“sHUT UP—!”

It brought that smile Shanks had to a grin, he enjoyed seeing his old friend laugh…

But on the other hand, Buggy didn’t ever have this much endurance when he was younger… did he get less ticklish when he grew up? Possibly… but not quite… more endurance maybe?

Nonetheless, Shanks was stumped. It seems more like his friend was enjoying it, which was good, but he wasn’t willing to fess up. As rewarding as the happy laughter was, Shanks still had to tease him. That’s what left Buggy on his feet.

Oh ironic. Shanks chuckled before stopping, letting his friend take breaths and relax as the redhead hummed, thinking this over… What else could he do? He needed another little push…

“Oh! Buggy!”

“Oh what now?! Was that not enough?!” Buggy whined frustratedly, although it was clear he didn’t truly care that much. He was always dramatic about situations, especially to keep up his pride, and that added to his charm… erm well. ‘Charm.’

“Haha! I just had an idea is all. It may get you talking?” And the clown pouted. “Oh you’re joking!” He huffed out, moody despite the playful situation. It wasn’t that it was that bad, but his pride surely didn’t like it.

Although… The childish action sparked memories! Happy memories… and it was heartwarming for Buggy to think back on them…

BUT! If that stupid pirate who lost his strawhat thinks he can make him all soft and happy, he has another thing coming!

“Pff. I promise I’ll stop if this doesn’t work, alright?” Oh. Well… fine. Buggy nodded approvingly with his chin up high in pride, whether or not he wanted the memories to stop, this red haired whatever his face is isn’t gonna win!

With that, the man with the scars around his eye smiled casually… and lifted his shirt up. “…What.” Buggy mumbled in confusion. What could he possibly—

And suddenly Buggy’s thoughts were interrupted by… a loud high pitched squeal. One a coward would have. And it was followed by hearty laughter.

Granted, Buggy was a squealer, but Shanks’ laughter afterwards was his signature, beyond recognizable.

“Oh that’s great! Gold even! Let me do that again!” And Shanks leaned down to his belly, and blew a raspberry straight onto his tummy, causing not only the funny noise to ring out, but another squealy shrieky laugh from Buggy as he threw his head back in laughter, his hair flopping around as he wiggled.

“DAHAHAMMIT—! H-Hahave mercy—! Nonono noT AGAHAHAIN—!”

Buggy kept getting attacked by raspberries, not only causing a ticklish sensation, but the sounds and noises making him laugh, especially when Shanks would laugh half way through the raspberry.

And if this wasn’t a spinning image of when they were children, then nothing was. It was ironic to see this play out.

“Okay!! OKAY—! I’ll tell you—! Just quHUHUIT—!” And one final big raspberry on the belly, and Shanks lifted himself up, laughing softly and yet with his whole heart.

And admittedly, they were just sitting there laughing and giggling for about 30 seconds before Buggy forced himself back to reality and stood to his feet. “N-Now this isn’t over! Just because I gave in doesn’t mean— wait where’s my…” Buggy quickly checked for his shoe before Shanks tossed it over.

And then Buggy went right back to speaking, pulling his boot on. “— It doesn’t mean that I am weaker than you! I just… pitied your attempts and thought it was such a waste of time.”

“Right.” Shanks smirked, a cheeky smirk of course as he leaned back. “Is this a good time to confess I actually just wanted to play around and didn’t care?”

Silence…

“OH YOU LITTLE—!” Buggy stormed over, causing Shanks to laugh once more as usual…

“LETS SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT THEN—!”

And with that, it was safe to say their crews didn’t see them for a little while… but it was worth it for them to relive some memories and have some fun… and of course, take one another down a notch…

Or namely, a clown was taken down a notch or two, as for the redhaired pirate… we can only guess, hm?

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inkforhumanhands · 1 month

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For the fic writer asks,

🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

💎why is writing important to you?

🦋what are you most insecure about when you post a fic?

Probably the thing I'm usually most insecure about when actually writing: the dip in quality. "Will this chapter be as good as the last chapter? Will this scene be as good as the last scene? Will this paragraph be as good as the last paragraph?" I am after all a clown.

💝what is a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?

To this date one of my fics with the highest bookmark-to-kudos ratio (28 bookmarks to 118 kudos) is Basement, a short oneshot I wrote about Stick trying to teach young!Matt how to fight through pain by poisoning him during one of their sparring matches. I didn't expect much of a response to it since it's essentially whump on a child character and tagged with all the abuse tags, but even though there aren't that many comments on it it seems like it made some sort of impression on people? In any case I'm glad!

💎why is writing important to you?

This is a very good question that honestly I'm not sure I've entirely figured out how to answer for myself lol. I really enjoy having created something that I feel I can be proud of, I suppose! And it's a bonus that writing (in fandom, at least) opens up an entire community to you. :D

#asks #mutuallyprime #thanks for the ask

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vermillioncrown · 2 years

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i want to say something adjacent to the post i reblogged, re: op's request and perspective for not wanting mdzs/cql meta tagged as 'worldbuilding' or 'lore'.

i almost didn't reblog it. not that i didn't empathize nor understand why that post was made, but it felt like... not my place to say since i didn't do meta.

but it made me realize the feeling it stirred up in me was the type of avoidance and deflection learned after years of growing up as diaspora, being treated as alien, learning how to laugh off and play ignorant to microaggressions and other off-color remarks just so i didn't 'rock the boat'.

first and foremost, if i was still doing that, i wouldn't have written dream before daybreak. i want people to know that no matter the humor, no matter the silliness, the inherent cringe and self-indulgence of writing an si: i wrote that because it made sense. the feeling of isolation, of being not quite right - isekai into something that didn't require handwaving to understand and survive because the culture should fit; and it doesn't. and it will never. it is analogous to my diaspora experience. no other piece of media ever felt quite right to write for - if you've seen my 'project: double bastard' tab, i've had naruto brain rot since middle school. that's nearly two decades. and yet it was this story that i found and immediately latched onto.

mdzs is a chinese story. sounds obvious, right? because a lot of us are writing in english, communicating with other english-speaking fans, you can say you know but your brain is very good at getting used to things. if this is not a conscious thing that you are looking out for, you will miss it if you're not chinese.

i am happy to interact w readers, write funny and absurd things, be a clown, make connections, all that. i also don't treat writing that seriously as a craft. i do treat the content of what i write with deliberation, though - no matter the spectrum of silly-to-serious, from an ask that's joking around to each chapter i publish. the cultural consideration is always there in everything i post for mdzs or svsss. it's overtly there for chinese-based media, and i can't hide even if i tried for everything else because that's who i am. i am diaspora chinese.

my writing can stand on its own without the cultural perspective (eh. maybe not with the bilingualism in dream before daybreak). you can still enjoy it. i've put it out there, it is free to read, no one can stop you. but this is from the mouth of the author: you will never understand or follow 100% why something is happening if you are unable or unwilling to recognize that the base media and my fanfics are chinese (chinese-adjacent) by nature. even in something as cracky as lorenz attractors resemble butterflies - especially for that fic. it's easier to forget because i'm not up in your face with the chinese phrases all the time. and it's the collective effort of all the readers willing to have fun with me, so it seems very light-hearted and for the lulz.

here's me telling you the effort it takes to write that fic, hell, the entirety of the 'endure through the night' series. every piece of dialogue is thought through for how it might sound in chinese. i need to carefully balance zyx's inner thoughts versus how they'd talk. mannerisms. how someone is thinking. i also can't help that i'm american, and have english essentially as my first language. i'm always catching myself through speed writes, editing my drafts, correcting my outlines because some shorthand or thoughts came out automatically from a western perspective.

i try to keep things civil and fun on my blog because frankly, i wouldn't have the energy to deal with a perpetual fight in something that's my hobby. however, this is an important fight, one that i'm part of regardless of choice. this post was written as-is, so it is likely not very concise and hard to follow. but i hope that if you took the time to read it, you guys can continue to have fun reading my work but also have more understanding of where it comes from. i believe that understanding can only lead to more enjoyment.

#redglyphs #no one has been overtly rude to me in this fandom #but living as someone 'different' doesn't require overt rudeness to feel unwelcome #and it gets fucking tiring #and moreso because of the fact you feel tired somewhere you should be able to call home #i will never become a meta blog #but am happy to provide my thoughts on a thing if people ask in good faith and are willing to learn #and also understand i'm not perfect and my voice is just one of many as well #... okay i think one weirdo was rude to me but that was more baffling than anything #opinionated verm

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m0e-ru · 2 years

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Throughout writing the GSA SL AU, what has been your favorite part(s) of it to flesh out? Also, what drew you to Izanami as a character, what made you want to expand on them to write your AU? I think I've seen you talk about why in passing, though Bad Memory makes it to remember so sorry if you have explained that before.

I was going through my analysis tag and called myself so smart and maybe I am glad for my dramatic writing to make lore sound so pish poshy . also it's okay !!! if you don't remember . if the social anxiety I am a multilingual mess of a chatterbox who will say the same thing over and over again like a broken record but maybe multiple copies of the same record just warped differently . does that make sense. my english teachers have told me I need to work on my summary writing and I don't think I improved <3 anywho cracks knuckles. also happy 1.3k words

gsaslau........ my favorite was.... everything. the world building, the lore, the characters, mental flowcharts and concept maps. canon divergency has always been my favorite, paired with the fact I love analysing shit in the first place. I took one look at this idiot and saw all the pitiful overlooked potential hiding in their dumb oil scented uniform and tried to rip it out and put it in centrifuges and stretching it out as far as possible. people think I'm out of dough but I'm a little menace with a squirrel living inside my brain who just adds more dough. I will get a Thought and sit in a discord chat and monopolize it while literally everyone else is asleep because of the concept of timezones and I type for three hours and pass out; for an afternoon nap or the fact it became 3am.

iznmi is just sooooooo. barren. an absolute blank slate but also they're not. they're unpolished and deliberately dirtied. maybe theyre so empty and I have to take them to literal puddles and make sure every drop of whatever makes them at least half full in a sense. they're the puddle and I dug out a lake with a toy shovel. under all those layers I know there's nothing. but there's also something. there's a corpse. an actual person. an answer. a question. a migraine that would torment me for a week maybe.

a tiny tiny bit of context, before entering uh. here. the p4 community or if im ever actually considered to be part of it, I came from a humble little community where everyone was friends (ninokuni). I did my fair share of analysis and canon divergency and expressed my fear for bigger communities for mainstream media. so when i got here I decided to stay in this hole. this ditch. quarry mine. reminiscent of patrick star's house. I thought it'd be the same but NO. I fight tooth and nail in my own house and welcome people selectively like I'm a rabid animal sniffing people left and right. anyway

ummmm twirls hair swings legs. gsaslau origin story patreon special. i was obsessed with the dumb voiced npc at the start of the game the jp dub made him sound so fruity and my dad and sister and I joked around how he was a vampire for shits and kept making absurd headcanons throughout playing. the fact they showed up only on rainy days only made them more sketchy. in fact I could've casually liked this moron without the whole 'I'm god actually' bullshit going on.

I watched visualive! it was the end for me. no literally my brain was hardwired so badly I knew from that point on i would never be a normal p4 fan ever. adachis chair car adventure. THE END OF IT ALL.

D'OH I was obsessed. why was adachis clown ass acting like this. he's never like this. why has this been the only guy shown to piss him off ever. DONT get me started with th attendant I was sitting there 'NO WAYYY NO FUCKING WAYYYYYYY SO THIS GUY IS SIGNIFICANT IN ONE (1) OFFICIAL MEDIA.?' i was spiraling

I finished the game and that did Not help my conscience. I entered the fandom at that point and had my darkest days. but I learned a lot from it and I'm grateful for that

I was nitpicking EVERYTHING. I was asking so much questions and I had so much fun answering them. then coming back a year later with so much more answers, or maybe debunk my own views with something more enlightening I had to write my revelations while brushing my teeth after a shower. interpreting was great connecting dots were thrilling. the "what if" questions went too far and started. this (gsaslau) WHICH technically started when I watched vl and it hit me full force once I actually started thinking about it.

to me there was just. so much to do with the god and their humansona you don't understand. the fact they're intertwined with lore so much you had to check every nook and cranny and go mad while at it? then again that was a win win for me since I was basically picking at media analysis too.

I was there.... brute forcing translation as a non native. cracking into the game trying to find SOMETHING. I was buying books i couldn't read for One (1) page of trivia in a small little box with less than a paragraph. I went through spinoffs games and novels and drama cds and stageplays and art books and magazines and interviews and livestreams and blog posts and tweets. I was learning so much as time went by and i had so many new pieces I could tinker with and create completely new machinations I would adore.

I drew art comics wrote fic and analysis and wiki articles I edited pictures videos gifs modded games cracked into them for assets 3d models dialogue secret textures events I manufactured my own merch for pete's sake I gaslit so many people with fake screenshots and convincing formats and i wish i could do that again

okay kinda segued there I'll try and go back. my favorite to flesh out was... world building? dealing with the butterfly affect and figuring out the consequences in this and seeing how the story change would make me so excited. maybe souji wouldn't want to kill namatame on the spot and his vision would stay foggy because he can't accept the truth that some of the people he's friends with are those who started this citywide crisis. maybe adachi does care about people and realizes his feelings and decides to abandon his fake life he started for the sake of his loved ones so they wouldn't get hurt again. maybe namatame was a bit happier after the trauma of someone leaving him and more mentally stable and took care of nanako well that he's earned her trust and does his best not to break that loyalty ever. making parallels like marie and mim being one and the same and so different at the same time. MAYBE god develops humanity within themself after being so convinced they couldn't and has conflicting morals between their duty and their wants as their own person. exploring the possible relationships are also high up there like souji and namatame being friends or nanako scaring a gas station attendant twice her size. adachi and mim's friendship is a given.

iznmi canon or not, they just have....so so much potential and the fact they're lore itself doesn't help. and I think it's fucking hilarious you can finish the game knowing NOTHING about them. at all. what if there was more to this silly npc who only appears during a rainy weather flag..... vl sparked too many ideas. what if god had a bit more screentime in that personality that we could see their thought process some more while they observe the protagonist's journey throughout the entire game. the realization they hey, maybe humans' Shadows won't kill them one day. maybe they'll have the strength to stop denying themselves and accept them to achieve a greater power.

okay maybe this is enough rambling or i show you my two years worth of discord messages and scattered google docs . thank you for asking. hugs and kisses . and remember: gas staion atednat

#assk #cyphere #sulululat #p4 #gsa sl au #⛽️🌫#ゲッー #// this au was just supposed to be 'god makes friends and some things change a bit here and there or whatever'#// and then it became 'what if god actually Lived in the end but still dealt with the consequences of their actions they couldnt avoid in #// the beginning due to the circumstances of their birth and' yeah you get the point #// i could fix them. just made them worse though #// i came into this corner of the community and openly announced i will be projecting on the throwaway supporting cha #// character for the next 3000 years #// i am the only one correct about them which makes me allowed to present them so wrongly when i want to because everyone Should Know #// im goinf to. stop here. my god i cant stop talking good night good day good afternoon #persona 4 spoilers #persona 4

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spacecasehobbit · 2 years

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For the ask game -- #8, #26, #32 & #38

#8: If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

I write dialogue-only ficlets sometimes to help me get into character's heads without distracting myself by trying to describe scenery/actions/etc. So clearly a story without action!

Right now, it would probably involve the Staryk King from Spinning Silver engaging in some solid clown-to-clown communication with Miryem, in which they blithely talk past each other while assuming the other person definitely knows exactly what is going on (So, the book, but a missing scene? haha).

#26: How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

I can say with complete honesty that I had not read ahead to see what this question was when I answered the first one!

The dialogue-only ficlets also help me with quickly switching between character PoVs, as does writing out character meta. Other than that, I've never really thought of, "Getting out of a character's head," as something specific I do!

Do I ever regret going into their heads in the first place, though? ...define "regret"...

#32: What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

Now this one I knew right away. As I'm sure you will be shocked to hear, it is a quote from Lord of the Rings :p

(Possibly more surprising, it is not the quote I've already shared on tumblr!)

It's Sam's line to Frodo, from the third book, when Sam is encouraging Frodo to keep up hope:

Sam: I know. It's all wrong. By rights we shouldn't even be here. But we are. It's like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger, they were. And sometimes you didn't want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn't. They kept going. Because they were holding on to something. Frodo: What are we holding onto, Sam? Sam: That there's some good in this world, Mr. Frodo... and it's worth fighting for.

"How I found it" is probably obvious - while reading LotR the first time.

What it means to me: The definition of a narrative hero - the person who doesn't turn back, who keeps going, even when things seem at their most bleak and hopeless and cruel, because there is still good in their world even when they can't see it themselves, and it is worth fighting for even if they won't be the ones who get to enjoy it afterwards.

It's also just generally a very hopeful message. A new day will come, so long as there are people willing to keep going through the night to reach it.

#38: What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

All of it? Honestly, I have no idea what counts as Extra Weird vs. Normal Weird. I do have a tendency to pick out unusual things to focus on. Also, I convert all my writing to plain text and use html tags before copying it over to ao3, if it wasn't already in a plain text file to start, so that I can use html tags for formatting and not futz around with ao3's messy rich text formatter.

#ask game answers #thanks! :)#on writing #on my writing #how do you determine what is Extra Weird when *you* are Extra Weird? :p

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aiiqtyy · 1 year

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A fighter from heaven

In the early years of My life, my father was a constant presence. His strong and steady guidance shaped me into the person I am today. Our bond was unbreakable, and his love for me was unwavering. Looking back, I am filled with gratitude for the time we shared together. Losing a father is a devastating experience that has a profound emotional and psychological impacts on individuals, families, and communities. In this memoir, I will share my experiences growing up under his watchful eye and the lessons he taught me that continue to guide me through life.

I still remember when I went to school for the first time, I was very scared and full of nervousness because I was going to be a full-fledged student for the first time but all the nervousness and fear disappeared because of my dad's advice that

"just write and read so don't be nervous because we do it at home, if you don't know, ask your teacher".

I lost a bit of nervousness at that time so the day ended without anything bad happening, I was happy to leave school and when I saw daddy he had my favorite donut with him. there seems to be a clown in the shadow to the great joy of a little boy with his father who brings his son's favorite donut.

since then, every day I went to school happily because daddy would drop me off happy and I would also go home happy because daddy was with me until I graduated from elementary school. On the day of graduation my daddy was excited, new clothes and new shoes, hair that was rubbed like it was licked by a cow. That day I knew daddy was very proud of me because he had a medal hanging on me and some certificates so I knew I made him happy at that time.

Nothing can compare to the happy moments and memories of our family before.until one day the problems came one after the other, the once happy family and living well gradually fell like a plate that no one can rebuild when it is broken. the problem started in our house where we were staying because my grandfather stole all the things we had left because he was addicted to drugs and since then we haven't been back to our house because of the fear that something bad might happen to us .we decided to stay away and mommy and daddy find a way so that we can start again because if we insist on going back to our old house the trouble will not end. mommy found a job and eventually daddy went back to work because the pandemic was disappearing little by little. until an unexpected event daddy got sick and he gradually lost weight and at the same time the heartbeat slowed down but we didn't give up because we know that we and daddy can fight the trials that will come in our lives. We thought that was the end of the problem. I thought we would go back to the old happy and whole family, but one day I was in school when my sister suddenly called and was crying when I asked why she said to me

"Ai daddy is in the hospital"

All my joy that day was replaced by worry as if I was sinking to the ground and I couldn't move. I immediately went home and went to the hospital where daddy was taken. when I got there I saw mommy crying and shaking with fear, she hugged me and said

"I can't lose your daddy because I don't know how we will be when he's gone."

A few days passed and we were even sadder because daddy's hospital bill was so high we had no other way but to borrow money from our acquaintances, we were in debt but we didn't ignore it. because for daddy everything is ours It will only improve his condition but we thought that daddy would get better, June 4 11:46pm the doctor called mommy and said that daddy's condition is 50/50. Everyone is crying because of what the doctor said. I still don't understand clearly what's going on but my tears are slowly falling I don't know why but I tell myself that daddy can't give up because we've faced a lot of trials in life I hope it was during those times when daddy still fought for us. June 5 daddy passed away, daddy fought and I know he gave his best to do everything I know daddy is happy now and he is guiding our family. I have nothing else to say about my daddy's courage and stability because he never left us, I know that even though he is no longer by our side, he will always guide us.

Even though daddy is gone, I know he will never get tired of guiding us. Like him, I will be a fighter, I will fight and not be shaken by whatever problem comes in life, together we are a family that will face the test that will come, I will also be hardworking patient and reliable because daddy is like that I will use all the good things that daddy taught and showed me so that I can reach all my dreams and goals in life I will work hard for him.

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balillee · 3 years

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why 'there's no lore going on' right now in the dream smp - The Misfits Analogy

Fans of television, especially British television, will probably be familiar with an early 2010's show called Misfits. The show ran for five seasons spanning 2009 to 2013 - while the first two seasons (the first moreso than the second) are regarded more as cult classics, the latter half of the show completely falls in writing and production quality due to one significant change - the cast.

Seasons one and two of Misfits was centred around the original misfits gang - Nathan Young (portrayed by Robert Sheehan), Kelly Bailey (portrayed by Lauren Socha), Simon Bellamy (portrayed by Iwan Rheon), Alisha Daniels (portrayed by Antonia Thomas) and Curtis Donovan (portrayed by Nathan Stewart-Jarrett).

The show was good for two different factors from my perspective -

The intersection of superpowered television and interpersonal conflicts that broke the norm for stereotypes.

How the cast reflected modern British society.

In summary, the show followed a group of five young offenders at a community service centre. Not too interesting - but give them relatability, realism and explore their character development and their existing stereotypes/tropes through the use of superpowers? Genius.

Nathan was most definitely the fan favourite character of the show - he was outgoing, annoying, larger than life in a lot of ways and in all senses, he was a skeevy asshole who would insult characters at every turn. He was very much the class clown of the show and any British viewer could probably see someone they remember from school in Nathan, except Nathan was lovable and you could sympathise with him because you could see him struggling primarily at home and with his family.

Spoilers for the show - Nathan's power was immortality and the ability to resurrect himself from death. This power wasn't explicit immediately either to Nathan or to the audience unlike all of the other young offenders, and it reflected his 'nothing can hurt me ' attitude. Nathan was a character who could take any comment and brush it off like it was nothing, and he in the physical sense could take being thrown off a roof, impaled and practically buried alive and be sitting in his own coffin with his iPod all fine and dandy.

Kelly was also another standout example - her character reflected the stereotype of a chavvy girl, 'council house and violent' - loudmouthed, not very smart, questionable fashion choices and a bit abrasive. The only difference is that the show knew they had to subvert that stereotype - instead, Kelly was smart in her own way and she was empathic -> her superpower was the ability to hear other people's thoughts, and later, she became superintelligent and when her character left the show she decided to move to Uganda use her newfound rocket-scientist level intelligence for good. She was still loudmouthed and definitely chavvy, but she was also a whole human person who cared about other people and who was definitely intelligent.

If I kept going, I'd be lamenting about how season one's cast well reflected and subverted stereotypes and expectations using their superpowers, but I'd be here all day and that's really not the point I'm trying to make.

By the end of season 2, Robert Sheehan, as the standout performance from the show, decides to move on to greener pastures (which,, I don't blame him, being stuck on E4 would have been a nightmare for his career and look where he is now? He's a fan favourite as Klaus in TUA now!) - thus, Nathan is written out of the show in a post- season 2 special in which he gets locked up in prison in America.

This was the first character to get written out of the show.

In season 3, we lose Kelly who moves to Uganda with Seth to defuse landmines, and Simon and Alisha are both killed, and the only remaining member of the original ASBO five is Curtis.

Season 4 rolls around, and we pretty much have an entirely new Misfits cast - Curtis, and then we have Rudy (who had been present since season 3), and then we have new additions Jess, Finn and Abbey.

Let me tell you that by this point in the show, all of the fans had lost interest.

Not only had the two biggest fan favourites, Nathan and Kelly, left the show, but you now have to replace four out of the five original cast members with new ones that don't function the same way the originals did. What type of person is someone with X-ray vision trying to represent? You could argue that maybe Jess is good at figuring people out, but I don't really remember this being explored that much in the show. And the difference between this reflecting a minor personality trait is that the original cast didn't do that - in dumbed down terms, Alisha was a 'sket' who had the power to make people horny for her, oftentimes against her wishes, through skin-to-skin contact. That's much more impactful and there's a lot more to explore there.

Episode 7 of Season 4 of Misfits is the clearest indicator of the departure of the original show's intentions and explains perfectly why it didn't work the way it used to.

For the entirety of the season, Jess had been crushing on a guy called Alex from a bar she frequented (who later went on to replace Curtis as the fifth Misfits member in season 5, go figures) who, as far as we had seen, not at all reciprocated those feelings nor was there any indication of him wanting to.

In episode 7, we figure out why.

Jess, using her x-ray vision, finds out that Alex's penis was stolen by a trans man.

I'll be honest, when I first heard it, I thought it was a joke.

The show went from having a diverse cast, not only in terms of having two black characters in it's main cast, but also in it's diversity of character tropes that they aimed to subvert - to then having a mainly white cast in a show that actively perpetuates harmful stereotypes about trans people being dangerous.

Now, and I want to preface this, I don't think that the Dream SMP is malicious in the same way that the writing of that episode of Misfits is. I don't think the SMP is malicious at all. What I want to highlight is how the change in cast directly mirrored when the audience dropoff was and when the show itself started to go south in terms of quality, production and what they wanted to achieve.

For the sake of my argument, there is currently three seasons of the dream smp. The start of the server up until the end of the initial disc war is the prologue, season one encompasses Wilbur's L'Manberg and the Pogtopia arc, ending on November 16th, season 2 starts November 17th and ends January 20th (the disc war finale) and season 3 spans from January 21st to the present day.

Most of the fans of the Dream SMP can tell you that the primary story of the server is centred around quite a few certain characters who viewers started watching to see more of. I'm guilty of this myself - I primarily watch the SMP for Tommy's story, and I also stick around for Wilbur, Tubbo, Ranboo and a little bit for Phil, Techno and Jack Manifold. Those were the people I was invested in and those are the stories I like to follow. Not to discredit or to downplay the work or the stories of other characters, but I can imagine that there are a few people who watch the SMP primarily for a close few perspectives/storylines, and following some storylines over others just because you're not interested in them is completely fine and there's nothing wrong with that at all.

In season one, there was always things going on with my favourite characters. Tommy was always getting himself into spots of trouble and making up different schemes to get people to come visit L'Manberg as a tourist attraction, or getting people to support the rebellion, and this was interspersed with the heavier, plot-driven moments such as Wilbur's mental breakdown, the festival, the pit fight and the season 1 finale. This got me invested in him as a character because he had been there for quite a while and we'd seen him develop and grow into the character we now see in season 3.

In the back half of season 1 came Techno, who really shook things up and threw a spanner in the works and provided a totally different perspective - unlike Dream he didn't hate L'Manberg because he couldn't control it, and unlike Wilbur he didn't have a personal connection to it and he didn't know it's history. Techno initially hated L'Manberg because it was a government he knew nothing about (and still knows nothing about even today), and because violence and destruction is kind of his thing.

We had a well balanced cast of characters - not too many - that we could follow and who all had varying perspectives, experiences and personalities. We had clearly defined groups of individuals with different morals: you had the people on the side of Manberg, the people in Pogtopia who wanted Manberg blown up, the people in Pogtopia who didn't want Manberg blown up, and on the side to compliment it all you also had the Badlands, comprised of three longstanding members of the server,,,, and then Antfrost who was kidnapped by Tommy that one time. It was all wrapped up nicely in a neat little bow and there was structure to it all. There was one plot that went in one direction, and despite the many perspectives, it all ended up in the same spot and the story ended. There was a conclusion.

In season 2, the two primary additions to the 'cast' were Phil and Ranboo, whose characters complimented the existing story well. Phil functioned mostly as a successor to Wilbur alongside Ghostbur by exploring well the departure of Wilbur as a character in that moment, and he also functioned well as a companion to Techno's character. Ranboo, on the other hand, had a pretty good complimentary solo story that could be followed alongside the main plot, however his story wasn't too distant from the main story to the point where he was completely removed from it - he had direct involvement in different events such as the exile conflict, his connection to Dream as the main antagonist of the season and his involvement in blowing up the community house.

Season 2 starts with a focus on two different spaces - it breaks up a longstanding duo and the storyline diverges into two halves: Logstedshire and New L'Manberg, and you have Techno's short 'retirement' arc working decently to compliment it and also to set the tone for his character going forward in that season. In Logstedshire we see the aftermath of Tommy being exiled from L'Manberg by Dream - we see him endure what is (in canon) at least a month of isolation and physical and psychological abuse and it culminates on December 15th when Tommy rescues himself, jumps from the tower and goes to hide in Techno's house (which acts as a good precursor to his involvement in Techno's storyline in that season). On the other side, we follow Tubbo in L'Manberg dealing with Presidency - he talks a lot and gets 'friendly' with Dream, he prepares to run against Ranboo in the coming election cycle (primarily because he doesn't want to be President) and we see his interactions with the power-hungrier Quackity who all too often takes the reigns and this culminates in the creation of the Butcher Army, and following the Butcher Army's attack on December 16th, once again, we have two clearly defined sides:

One one side, we have Tubbo, Quackity and Fundy who represent L'Manberg, and on the other we have Tommy (who is unaware of the Butcher Army's attack), Phil and Techno, and more in the middle we have Ghostbur and Ranboo.

Season 2's finale format is a clear departure for the format of November 16th, but it's not a poor choice - I think, especially considering the story that they were telling, it worked perfectly. On November 16th, pretty much everyone was streaming their perspective of the event; at the time, there were even compilations of everyone's reactions to Wilbur blowing up L'Manberg. On January 20th, however, we only had two perspectives - Tubbo and Tommy.

I'll say it now, while Season 2 was definitely Clingyduo's season, it didn't focus solely on them. There was also a big focus on Techno as a character, whose arc came to an end a little earlier on Doomsday, and there was also a focus on Ranboo a lot as a solo character, and he streamed a little later on January 20th with what I refer to as the 'epilogue', where there was also a shift in his character to expect moving forward.

Why season 2's finale worked is because it was centralised around only three characters, only two of which we ever see the perspectives of, and it was the finale of the longest running storyline of the entire narrative - the disc war. Two boys who were on their last life, making their last stand at the one man who pulled the strings to make their lives miserable - those two perspectives only, and it worked. We didn't have compilations of everyone reacting to the things happening around them which worked for season 1, instead, we focused on these two characters whose turn it was to get the focus, and we had iconic and moving moments. We had the two boys walking down the prime path saying what they could only assume might have been their last goodbyes to the people that still had a shred of care for them, we had the two sailing to where they would face off against Dream for their final stand and finally talking about their feelings a little and dreading the implication that if they were both to die, nobody would live to tell their stories, we had Tommy choosing his best friend over his discs time and time again, and we had Punz - Dream's last confidant - standing against Dream and bringing everyone with him and sending him to prison, now on his last life too.

Everything about it was perfect. The more focused ending worked for the ending of season 2 because it was their time to have their climax moment - and it wasn't some spectacular display of explosions or violence like in Wilbur's finale on November 16th, where the ramifications hit everyone and we got to see it, nor was it a show of violence and almost oppressive dominance like Techno's finale was on Doomsday, where we saw everyone's breakdown and how the people contributing to the destruction of L'Manberg, no matter how righteous they thought they were, did not care to understand how much they were hurting and destroying the lives of the country's citizens. On January 20th, Tommy and Tubbo went into it thinking they were going to die, they got their asses handed to them despite how hard they tried, and they had their behinds saved by Tommy's preparative thinking by people who weren't there to save them more than they were there to get rid of Dream.

Season 3 suffers a lot from a lack of focus, awful pacing and really poor timing.

Seasons 1 and 2 occurred during the brunt of the coronavirus pandemic, where everyone was stuck at home and had more time to stream because it was their primary form of content and because it was the best way to communicate with their friends. Thus, the pacing of those seasons was extremely steady and things were always happening.

Now, lockdown restrictions have eased quite a bit, and creators can branch out a lot more and can meet with each other in real life and can do vlog-style content. Therefore, they don't stream as much, and the focus of the Dream SMP story has shifted more towards newer or sideplot characters. If you enjoy those characters, that's fine, but when they take the focus away from the characters and the storylines the majority are expecting, a lot of people won't try to keep up with it and from their perspective there'll be a massive lull in narrative content.

What I'm saying, is that Tommy streaming for thirteen days in a row in July 2021 is a fucking pipe dream. It happened in December because the story was consistent and the pacing was steady and he had the time and the want to be there. Now, Tommy's off making his vlogs and hanging out with his friends and thus he can't stream as much as he used to. He's sort of suffering from the Robert Sheehan problem, isn't he? Tommy is still involved with the Dream SMP and his story is definitely continuing, and his narrative in season 3 is really starting to pick up with the newer developments, it's just that he doesn't have as much time to play the role anymore because he isn't streaming as much.

I'm not saying this is a bad thing - it's obviously making him happy that his content is changing and I'm fully supportive of that.

So when all of these meetups are happening and we don't have as much content from the main characters that we follow anymore, what happens?

Well, the fans get a little itchy. This fandom, especially. They might throw out a comment or a tweet asking when they're going to stream on the SMP, or if they really don't understand why the Dream SMP is good, they'll ask when the next 'lore stream' is, and they'll lament a little about how the content and the story has slowed, especially in contrast to the fast pacing of season 2 which only lasted a little over two months with much more story going on than in season 3 despite it having been going on for triple the time. What they'll get in response is that the Dream SMP is still going on and that lore is still happening.

On all accounts, these statements aren't incorrect. Lore still is happening.

But when you've been following lovable characters for two seasons, setting up their struggles and then switching the focus onto newer or 'sideplot' characters that you haven't really followed before, there's going to be a bit of moaning about it on twitter dot com.

The SMP now suffers from having too many characters, too many unfocused narratives, and poor pacing/ditched or unfinished storylines from the characters we used to follow and love while we're being told to love other characters instead.

I never really cared too much about the egg subplot, I'll be honest. I was a little interested in the involvement of Sam, Puffy and Ponk, but other than that, I wasn't really too invested. It very much tried to replicate the 'you should have paid me more' moment from January 20th at the Red Banquet, and it really didn't hit as hard because most of the characters there were either ones that didn't belong there at all (like Niki, Fundy, HBomb, and Purpled), weren't that involved with the plotline and felt out of place with the established characters in that storyline (Techno, Quackity and Ranboo), or were new characters that were difficult to get on board with because they hadn't really had too much of a story beforehand (Hannah and Foolish), or in the case of Antfrost, characters with no known motivation to be there other than that being the storyline they're currently in. Not to discredit those involved or their characters, but the Red Banquet really tried to replicate what the disc finale did with it's focused perspectives and it's Punz moment, and it failed.

Now, following the egg subplot's finale, I'm meant to focus on Las Nevadas, Snowchester and the Syndicate.

Las Nevadas is the most consistent storyline, however it's biggest problem is that it is filled with new characters or ones that are barely there. Despite how long he's been on the server, Purpled really is a new character if only because he's only really become a character recently - Foolish is still considered new, Slimecicle is new, Fundy rarely streams on the SMP. The only consistent longstanding and heavily involved characters that are a part of Las Nevadas are Quackity and Sam, and even their streams are infrequent, with a lot of Sam's perspective not even focusing on Las Nevadas but instead the prison.

Snowchester's plot is very much dying, dead and in the water. She's suffering. We haven't seen Michael in over a month, a nuke is still missing, Jack Manifold is dubiously a citizen and Tubbo doesn't even think he has a character on the SMP. It breaks my heart.

The Syndicate suffer from a lack of existence. The four characters really aren't a friend group in canon - all of the stuff about them hanging out all the time and them basically being a book club is all fanon. They've hung out as a four all of twice, the first time they ever got together they celebrated someone's death and then basically invaded Snowchester to give themselves a reason not to destroy it, terrifying Tubbo in the process. The second time was because it was Techno's birthday.

Now, Techno is in prison, and the only reason Phil hasn't read the will to progress the story is likely because of difficult scheduling with other server members, which is written off in canon as Phil not wanting to accept the possibility of Techno potentially dying.

Literally reading the will and having the Syndicate figure out that Techno's in prison with Dream will solve all of season 3's formatting issues and have the story back on track.

Currently, we don't really have two clearly defined sides the way we always had. We were meant to root for L'Manberg against the Dream Team, we were meant to root for Pogtopia against Manberg, and in season 2 we had a lot more moral ambiguity and room for side switching between the forces of Dream, Techno and Phil against L'Manberg, and then we rooted for Clingyduo against Dream.

I can predict that if the will is read, here's how a good conflict can arise.

Two clearly defined different sides - Las Nevadas on the side of Pandora's Vault, and the Syndicate (currently consisting of Phil, Ranboo and Niki), and you have compromises to make. If the side of the Prison wins, Techno and Dream stay in Pandora's Vault without a proper trial and being treated inhumanely, and there's also the threat of the rest of the Syndicate also being imprisoned. If the side of the Syndicate wins, the prison is taken out and Techno and Dream are no longer being treated inhumanely - problem is that Dream's out, and he's very much dangerous because despite what c!Dream apologists will tell you, he's not docile and he's not going to have a healing arc with Techno because he doesn't think he's done anything wrong and Techno can't tell him that he's done anything wrong (because Techno is the most wilfully ignorant character who gets to be political it's INSANE) - he'll go right back to the evil, abusive bastard he was, obsessed with Tommy, probably worse now that he can easily get Wilbur to do anything he wants and more vindictive against Quackity. Plus, if the Syndicate take down Las Nevadas they'll hold the most power on the server systematically and the so-called anarchists will ironically be the top dogs of the server.

Then towards the middle you'll probably end up having Wilbur, Benchtrio and Jack Manifold - Tubbo and Jack would prefer Techno and Dream staying in prison, except Tubbo's really not on the greatest terms with Q at the minute (because Q's paranoid and making conflict with parties that would have otherwise helped him out and thought they were friends), whereas Tommy would be stuck between wanting Techno out but needing to either keep Dream in or kill him, and Wilbur will be having to pick between aiding Dream's escape from prison or staying with Tommy, because he can't have both. Ranboo will probably be having the same problem as Tommy, except he's on the side of the Syndicate and will have to pick between the Syndicate or keeping Dream imprisoned.

Season 3 is salvageable, it really is. You can fix the poor pacing and you can fix the lack of focus with literally one revelation from fucking Philza M|necraft. But as it stands now, season 3 suffers from a similar situation as Misfits - almost replacing the cast of characters we've followed for the longest time with a new one in a format completely different to the original seasons.

#dream smp #dsmp #dream smp analysis #dsmp analysis #dsmp meta #dream smp meta #long post #esclapoanalysis

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stephspurs · 3 years

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A Family Affair | Euro 2020 Football Fanfiction

Life is beautiful and life is cruel. A window into the souls of the victorious and the vanquished. In a way, football did come home during the summer of 2021. Follow along Amelia’s journey, navigating the football world as a tactical analyst for the italian football team, with a brother and father part of the three lions. Will Amelia leave Italy and come back to England? Will she leave the Serie A for the Prem? Will she set aside the bianconeri stripes for new colours, leaving behind friendship for love? Maybe she can have both...

EEEEEEK here's part two!!! Part two sees more of Amelia's beautiful brain, the love she has for her team, and her brother, & her friendship with Kyle Walker. Hope you guys love it as much as i do - please let me know what you think - i'd love to hear from you all!

Love always,

Steph xx

UPDATE as of 31/07: I've made some additional editing changes due to some feedback about the confusion between ben white (her brother) and ben chilwell (not her brother LOL). Nothing has been added to the story, just the addition of either surname has been added where i think it could be more straightforward - for future readers!

Part 2. | seconda parte

warnings; none - just a whole lot of feels.

word count; 1469

writing tools; third person until dashed line, first person thereafter.

next update; Wednesday 28/07 5pm AEST. Updates are twice weekly (Sunday & Wednesday)!

Tags (as requested by users); @footballffbarbiex

link to fic masterlist here

11 July 2021 | The Final Match.

The players for both national teams lined up side by side down the tunnel. Chiellini & Kane, both confident in their teams ability, captaining with great authority and mentorship for the ten men stood behind them. Amelia stood at the back of the tunnel, watching the scene ahead of her. Her dad, walking up the centre aisle between the two teams, shaking the hands of his players, confident in his preparation. A gentle hand to her brother's shoulder, saying everything it needs to say. It was the same hand that rubbed the back of her neck as he walked past, communicating the same thing. Go your hardest, you’re ready for this.

It was her turn, she started at the back of the line, and in true Italian style, a kiss was placed to both cheeks of every player up the line. When she reached Jorginho, a player she came to appreciate for his technical mindset and intellectual approach to the game, she kissed his cheek and turned to the player opposite him - her brother, who was trying his hardest to face forward and pay his little sister no mind. She knew what he was doing, but she wasn’t as heartless as the rest of the England squad probably perceived her to be. Reaching out, she rubbed her hand along the back of his neck, just as her father did to her, leaned in and pressed a kiss to his cheek, before continuing down the line of her players to the front. Shaking hands with Gareth Southgate, who no doubt had come to realise who the girl was in relation to his team, and a kiss to both cheeks of Mr Mancini, she walked out and took her place on the bench, ready for the game of her life.

120 minutes of football later.

Life is both beautiful and cruel. Whilst she hadn’t anticipated the early goal from Shaw, Amelia had predicted every play by the english and made sure her team was there waiting for them to turn and run. They knew to never let Harry Kane have the space to move the ball, to make sure Mason Mount was marked at all times and to pay attention to the silky smooth skills of Raheem Sterling. They knew that every player on the english side had the talent and skill to shoot and score, no matter if they're a striker or full back. In the end, the endless taunts from the british crowd and constant reminder of “it’s coming home” only fuelled the Italians further and pushed them harder, to their limits. Eventually both sides met with equal force and completed extra time at a draw, leading to penalties. All of Amelia’s preparation with Gianluigi Donnarumma would present itself now. She went over the preferred sides of the penalty takers she presumed would be stepping up for their country, and reminded him of all he has achieved & what there is still left to be done. After all, they are the masters of their own fate.

Donnarumma’s block of Bukayo Saka’s penalty rattled her bones and sent a chill down her spine. They had done it. The boys had finally brought football back to Rome for the first time since 1968, and while she can’t take all of the credit, she knows she single handedly played a part in this victory. As soon as happiness filled her body, guilt and sadness flooded her heart. She had been part of the problem that caused her brother so much pain. Her dad knew how to handle rejection, this wasn't his first rodeo, and could see with an open mind just how they had managed to achieve greatness. But her brother had truly believed they had it, that football was coming home to England.

After being surrounded by her boys, cheering and hugging her, screaming in relief that they had done it, Amelia took a step back and took a deep breath in. Looking over to the players in white consoling each other with looks of understanding and pats on the back, hugging those with the unfortunate fate of missing their penalties, she found her brother.

_____________________________________________________________

Squatting down with his elbows resting on his knees and hands covering part of his face, his eyes showing disbelief that the moment had escaped them. Jordan Henderson, the figurative big brother to my big brother, leaning down whispering what one can only assume is words of encouragement and strength to him. A voice to my right startles me, not because I wasn't used to the noise, but because it was a voice I haven't heard directed at me with anything other than venom in a very long time.

“He wants you to be there for him, don’t ever think for a second that he doesn’t want you around.” Kyle Walker speaks into the open, whilst looking around at the fans still in the stadium. The fans behind us right now would be watching with speculation, wondering why the english player is talking to an italian so soon after defeat.

“I don’t think he doesn’t want me around, i just don’t think he wants me around right now” I spoke back, trying to reason with myself and Kyle as to why i haven't gone up and offered my condolences to my brother.

“I think the only thing that can pull him out of this is you. He was beating himself up last night after your argument, and while he turned it into motivation for today, it's still weighing on his conscience. He’s happy for you, we aren't that mean so as to deny him the pleasure of being proud of his little sister...even if she is working for the enemy”

“You’ve always been one to be the voice of reason, whilst still being the clown I grew up to know and love”

“Does this mean we’re friends again? I’m sorry about last night” Kyle admitted.

“Last night wasn’t what ended our friendship...we stopped being friends the day you left Spurs.” I joked back to Kyle. I turned to look at his over-expressed shocked face and walked backwards a few steps while giggling, before turning and sauntering over to my brother who was now surrounded by some more teammates. Upon seeing me and noticing my solemn expression, finding comfort in the fact that I wasn't there to rub my win in their faces, the boys left my brother to himself.

I stood there, staring into the eyes of my brother, who after a few minutes reached out and pulled me into him as though I was a life raft and he was stranded in the ocean. We stood there, hugging, saying everything we needed to say through the way we were gripping to the backs of each other's team colours.

“I am so proud of you, you put up one hell of a fight Ben. Certainly made my job harder” I spoke into his shirt. He was the taller of the two, but I wasn't that short. Almost immediately after, I felt him push more weight onto me and sink a bit lower so he was in my neck, shedding a few tears he didn't want seen by those around us. Not even 5 seconds later, he stood up straight, wiping his eyes and offering me a smile.

“God, I wish you weren’t better at your job than I am at mine” he joked back to me. I smiled up at him, shaking my head.

“I would say you’re wrong but the medal that's about to be around my neck would say otherwise” i joke back with him. I was not about to dull my sparkle for someone else's sun to shine, whether he is my brother or not.

“We have to talk about everything that went down last night but i’ll let you enjoy your night with your team” Ben says as we turn and begin to walk toward the stage being set up for the ceremony.

“Thanks Ben, family dinner on Sunday? Tell your friends to come, you and i both know mum will have enough food to feed everyone without even trying”

“Of course, I'll put it in the lads chat & see who’s still around. Kyle will see it in our family chat - who even put him in there anyway!?”

“Honestly...I think it was mum. You know she loves her son, Kyle.”

As I walk back to my team, and into the arms of Fede and Jorginho who wrap me up in an Italian flag and start jumping around, I can't help but smile and laugh at my amazing life. Who knows what the future has to hold, but for tonight, the azzurri are the champions of europe and the trophy is coming home, to Rome.

Part 3. | parte terza

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bogboye · 2 years

Text

this is it lads. the last #Noah reviews movies but it's actually buzzfeed unsolved. it is an honor and I love all y'all.

THEY'RE BACK IN THE SALLIE HOUSE

2 DEMONIC INVESTOGATIONS WE ARE SO WELL FED BESTIES

shksbwksidnwbok they way Shane read out everything in such a deadpan voice

Shane's bargain bin Tony Stark glasses returned!!!!!

" 'And now I'm back', say it with confidence!" "I'm back!" " YEAS!"

"I've done a lot of- I LAID DOWN ON A PENTAGRAM AND SCREAMED AT THE DEVIL!"

Are we getting flashed in the last episode place your bets babes

Ryan's confidence turning almost immediately into mania... we love to see it

"Hah, we must have a ghost." That's what she said

He doesn't want to sound too eager to answer the phone...

The pets akehwbwiwjsbs lads it's the GANG

JSKABJ the way he smacked the Teddy over and Sallie got mad lmao

"More whiskey." AND "Spaghetti" AND "Apple tater" WE SHALL DINE LIKE KINGS

Sallie really has it with that teddy huh

THAT CLEAR ASS "SALLIE"

Bro girly is at it

"I swear to God I heard those little balls" proceeds to dance

THE FUCKING MOBILE they're bringing in all the clichés I LOVE IT

Okay now I wanna see the video of the claw marks there's never evidence for those

RYAN DANCING LIKE A FUCKING CLOWN AND SHANE THREATENING TO EVICT A LITERAL DEMON IF SHE DOESN'T SCARE THE SHIT OUT OF RYAN

"so be it" girlboss

"We're taking a ghost home with us!" Please get her from a shelter boys

"She's a demon, throw some water on her" The quotes this episode are *chefs kiss*

THEY'RE REFERENCING THEIR OWN EPISODE I LOVE THEM

RYAN LOSING HIS FUCKING SJIT AND ASKING WHERES MY JOSBDIWNA yeah I'm normal about this yeah I can be trusted with media <3

the nostalgia is unreal

GHOST WORMS GHOST WORMS GHOST WORMS

That "back at [unintelligible] sounded a lot like "back at Sallie house fight me on that

THAT DRAWING

SHE GOT A FART AND A GLASS OF PISS A PIG NOSE AND AN EYEPATCH I'M HYSTERICAL

WHY ARE THEY NOT TALKING ABOUT THAT CREEPY ASS "SALLIE"

*chanting* pentagrampentagrampentagramsheputapentagramonthefloorshesallowedtodothatthisisamerica!

I beg you please lay down on the pentagram again

Oh shit lads we in it now

"Aww my old demon hole!" He did not have to say it like that

"I'm not going down there" "Character development you should"

RYAN IS LAYING DOWN ON THE PENTAGRAM THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LSHAOANSJSOAAKAI

"suck it easy- OH I DIDNT MEAN THAT"

THE LIGHT TURNED ON IT'S TRUE IT'S CANON THEY ARE THE BEST GHOSTHUNTERS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD AND IT TURNED OFF AGAIN THIS IS NOT A DRILL

"It would be pretty sweet if I shat myself in the series finally" no it really wouldn't stop

What's with Shane and creepy dolls

Is that a promise Ryan? Is it? I wanna see this man so unhinged

Now I wanna see Shane write a motivational speech he's so good at insulting spirits now I wanna see him- oh wait

you can now picture me in a corner sobbing

"Turn on that flashlight again. Please don't." I'm getting mixed feelings here budy

YO WHY WAS THAT LIGHT FLICKERING

great now he's laughing aga- he indeed is a crazy man at the Pickmans bedroom

DON'T TELL ME THE SPIRIT BOX DIDN'T SAY "BITCH" IMMEDIATELY AFTER IT SAID "GO"

"How'd it go?" "I ended it." "You ended it? You told her who's boss?" enemies to friends to lovers to enemies again

WHAT IS IT WITH THE DOLLS HE LOOKS SO CONTENT WITH THOSE DOLLS WHAT IN HELLS NAME

Shane slept through the night

Ryan did not sleep at all

Poor little meow meow :((

THE OUTRO MUSIC DON'T DO THIS TO ME

HE DESTROYED THE SPIRIT BOX HE SAID "DON'T FORGET THE SPIRIT BOX" AND HE DIDN'T

Cool they're doing a throwback cool cool I am not crying SHUT THE FUCK UP

"I know one thing to be true: you believed in us" I DID I DO I DO OH MY FUCKING GOD I DO

THE WHOLE CREW I AM SOBBING

SOBBING YOU HEAR ME

Hey guys, we did it. We really did it. This show has been helping me through a lot of tough times and always cheered me up, even when I thought there was nothing to cheer up left. I love this show, Ryan and Shane and this entire community with my whole heart and (without trying to sound like a copycat) I wanted to say thank you for those amazing years and memories. So, thank you for the journey, for the laughs and smiles and the tears (I know this is cheesy but I am committed so fuck you) and scares and memories. Thank you so much.

Don't miss the documentary on 11/24, until then, see y'all.

#buzzfeed unsolved season 8 #buzzfeed unsolved supernatural #buzzfeed unsolved #bfu #bfu shane #bfu ryan #ghoulbrothers #sallie house #series finale #noah reviews movies #but its actually the last buzzfeed unsolved episode #thank you #long post #shane madej #ryan bergara #shane and ryan

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tomatograter · 3 years

Note

i saw on twitter you reread the epilogues! would it be okay to ask how you feel about them now on a reread? have any of your opinions changed, for better or worse? i've really loved the art and analysis that's come out of your tumblr/twitter ever since they dropped, so i'm excited to know what you think. i couldn't get a great read on your feelings based on your tweets so that is why i am asking directly, hope that's okay!

Not much changed. That wasn't the first time I attempted to re-read the HS Epilogues, I've gone through bits and pieces of them a handful of times in the years since the original release and it's an effort I make to remind myself of events that happened because I tend to... forget. I don't mind reading books, I like those! In the hellscape that was 2020, according to my StoryGraph stats (great new site, by the way, stop using the Amazon-clawed Goodreads and transfer your account to a black led effort to diversify the current literary environment) I managed to read about 22 new books. Not too shabby for a total dumbass. The problem isn't that it was text-only, they just sort of mush together as a nondescript mass in my brain given enough time.

The first time I finished the epilogues, I said they felt like a purposefully unfinished text, but one at odds with itself (though in much more undercooked words, as I had just spent the last 2 days busy reading it) and it's an impression that has deepened since.

I do not mean anything like "Meat contradicts Candy" with this, that'd be foolish; the dissonance is the fucking point. I know how dubiously canon alternate universes work and I *enjoy* them, otherwise I wouldn't have wasted years in the circus ring that is accompanying Big 2 Comics in the hopes they'd do anything genuinely cool with that concept. Instead, I find there is a general problem in terms of internal cohesion. The Epilogues want to be a lot of things at once, be it a continuation, an expulsion, a deliberate attempt at public scorn, a somewhat genuine play in heartfelt analysis, a reinvention of what came before, or a loaded gun pointed straight at one's own foot. And in the process, they end up undermining the impact of their own strongest moments.

I don't like the Epilogues. Their lukewarm indecisiveness makes for a poor reading experience that needs far more asides, warnings and 'before you read it-'s than the book is worth. It is a text with a particularly distasteful, juvenile fixation in the show and repeated humiliation of sexual abuse victims, and manages to be more regressive about its female characters and what roles they're allowed to play than Homestuck, the 2009 Comic, ever was. And that was disappointing. It's as if the coming of adulthood must sort them into one of two categories: "wanted, desirable" woman or "unwanted, undesirable" woman. It also interacts with trans women in a really shitty way. It is a text married to traditional white-centric politics that makes an attempt to challenge them from that same perspective but falls flat on its face by pulling big moves like "making the alien-Hitler analogue character fight for a rebellion meant to represent racial liberation" and other unsavory choices. But I don't need to like the Epilogues to acknowledge them as both a text that exists and works within a shared universe.

They're pretty fertile ground for dissection and analysis. I think it's interesting how they accentuate some of the worst facets of the HS "canon"/"lore" by being incredibly blatant about their connection to stuff like the Skaianet archives, how they play with Fanservice and Fan Expectation by dedicating so much time to solving or sinking ‘The Davekat Equation’, and how they elaborate on complex facets of old characters. It's a text that acknowledges the existence of fanfiction and popular fanworks on a direct quotable basis (like "Can't sleep without holding onto a motherfucker" of 4Chords fame) as well as Fan Movements that preceded it (the also Gamzee-based "Free the clown!" Rush from 2016) it's intrinsically interactive, and that's not something you can say about a lot of media. The olive branch beckons.

I don't recommend the Epilogues. To me, the Epilogues portray glimpses of two potential, but not absolute, futures soaked in limiting metadoomer pessimism, best appreciated as "what-if" tales taking on the questions of serialization, post-myth, the self-cannibalistic nature of franchises, the abstractness of Canon, the absurdity of fanon, and why fascists like milk. The Epilogues are also not going to magically disappear or un-exist from our collective recollection anytime soon, or… ever. These statements coexist.

I think complex feelings towards media are best put to use in the making of your own art, which is unsurprising, given the fact I'm an artist and a fag, & I've personally enjoyed creating things that interact and rebuke aspects of that text. I've also been graced with the existence of wonderful art from others doing the same, may that be in the form of illustrations, written epics, analyses, comics, videos, songs, the collective transgendering of the series' main character, and all sorts of harder-to-categorize community creations. You can make the best of it. That's my favorite part of the whole ordeal, and one I don't regret one bit.

I hope this is an appropriately satisfying answer on this subject, and if it isn't, well, here's the thing; you can write a better one.

#homestuck #meta #the homestuck epilogues

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interact-if · 3 years

Note

Umm hi 👉👈 I realized that most of the asks you guys get are about games and rec lists. You guys deserve so much recognition for the work you put in this blog, so I wanted to ask if I can do a little get-to-know-the-mods thing? If that's okay!

1. Besides writing, what are your hobbies?

2. Do you have a niche interest right now?

3. Any fave songs/artists/bands?

4. Any fave movies/tv shows?

5. On a scale of 1-10, how likely would you survive in your wip's world?

You can totally ignore this if you guys want, no pressure. Anyway, much love to all the interact-if mods! You guys are incredible! ❤

We saw this ask and we went 👀 👀 👀 so we’re happy to answer! Thank you so much for the fun ask!

We also rated our survivability in all of our collective games, since Mars isn't an author! Fun stuff! Spoilers, though: it’s really not looking so great for me (Dani) but that’s fine!!! 😌

1. I’m a photographer as well as a graphic artist (but not like. A painter/drawer kind of artist!) and, on a general level, a maker and a tinkerer!

2. Fountain pens! I only write with ink, and only with fountain pens, and I use bottled inks/converters!

3. I’m pretty eclectic with music, but my top genres are alt rock, indie, indie pop, etc, as well as top 40s and some rap.

4. I feel like this is the hardest one for me to answer? Favorite movies/shows? Avatar: the Last Airbender has been a favorite show of mine since I was a little kid, but I have a harder time thinking of shows I would call a favorite in recent years. There are shows I’ve liked, and a lot of shows I’ve watched. But I’m picky! And demanding! It takes a lot to earn a place in Dani’s Trophy Case of Favorites. 😌 I would say I quite liked A Quite Place (movie), and I liked Us (movie). When it comes to TV shows, I have a hard time being pleased with them if they don’t end well. As a result, I have a penchant for a good limited series/miniseries (because they’re stories that have an end in mind and the plot reflects that, dagnabbit).

5. Heh. Okay.

In The Goodfellows? I think I stand I chance. I can exercise my sparkling wit and lovable personality to the best effect. I’m gonna give myself an 8/10 survivability rating. Even if I don’t have the right skills, I can go crying to the person who does and they’ll save me. Maybe.

In Creatures’ Cradle? I’m super $**!%d. 😌 1/10 survivability rating. And that 1 is me being nice to myself. The day the apocalypse breaks out I would probably be patient 0. I am self-aware. I would not do well in an apocalypse. Zombies care not for aforementioned sparkling wit and lovable personality, and I have all the muscle of a boiled spaghetti noodle. So it’s a no go.

Greater Than Gods (Cruz): Well. I’m going to be optimistic. And say that I have the wisdom not to do things I shouldn’t do and not to rock boats I shouldn’t rock. I’m going to give myself a 7/10 based on insider information, but also based on reckless optimism!

Vardir (Cruz): Cruz says this is a lighthearted game, so 10/10 LOL.

When it Hungers (Roast): I’m giving myself a nice, mediocre 5/10. I think I could put my mind to work here; I joke that I’m the village idiot, but I’m actually pretty smart! Unfortunately, I’m also curious, and maybe a little bad with authorities who won’t answer my questions. So I knocked off a lot of points due to the fact that I’d probably poke the metaphorical bear. So it’s a real coin flip as to whether I’d really make it or not.

Orthall Bay (Nines): Considering the genre is “horror” and the game intro includes the words “monster” and “maim,” I’m giving myself a whooping, enthusiastic 3/10. Yes, folks, I am that confident in myself! Once again, I can’t charm the socks off a monster (or can I?), so one of my greatest weapons is snatched from beneath my feet. Alas!

1. Beloved I’m a college student in the middle of a pandemic... i can hardly even write LOL i do draw at times which u can see in my personal blog (nothing too good really) and i used to do karate before things went to shit <3

2. Nothing niche I believe? All I do is leave Netflix as bg noise every day n play popular videgames (genshin)

3. Porter Robinson <3 I love Bea Miller a lot as well but lately I’ve been feeling Porter a lot

4. The Good Place <3

5. My WIPs:

Greater than Gods: Highly situational, the world GtG is set in is as broad as the real world LOL so I don’t have an universal answer. But keeping it vague, and knowing my own personality, I feel like 5/10. depends on my luck.

Vardir: 10/10 no one dies in Vikgade, unless you’re a hunter but I wouldn’t be a hunter <3

Others’ WIPs

I'm gonna give myself a solid 5/10 in all other WIPs because y'all aren't writing lighthearted stories either. I feel like as long as I avoid the role of the MC I will be mostly fine. I hope. But as Dani said I'm also prone to fight the wrong person and dig my own grave so 😌

1. Well, writing is a very, very, very, distant hobby since Words Hard, but I like to crochet and sculpt a little! Anything to do with fiddling with my hands and I’m good to go. And like, debatable but graphic design is my passion [insert clown emoji here since Tumblr said No]

2. Oh yeah a bunch! DnD yelling at people, thinking of arson, crocheting, rock climbing and simply vibing. I got into podcasts a few years ago and I’m always looking for more recs, so if you have some, hmu 😤

3. Pls,,,,my music taste is,,,so weird do not let me expose myself with lack of consistency but uhh. Current songs that are stuck in my head include; Cult of Dionysus , Achilles Come Down and The Last Shanty

4. If you’ve ever spoken to me before, I probably yelled about Pacific Rim to you or at you. Plus I love all The Mummy films and really enjoyed Castlevania (s3 excluded, we do not perceive that) as well!

5. Ah, mod survival simulator pt. 3

Alright, let’s go! I don’t have a WIP because again, words hard, but like, considering how feral I am when not tryna seem professional hm...

The Goodfellows: I wanna say a solid 7/10 because I’d hardcore vibe with the Traveler and probably instigate so much nonsense. I can also bribe with blueberry cake so maybe.

Creature’s Cradle: maybe a 4/10 and only because of pure spite keeping me alive long enough to smack someone. I’ve prepared for hypothetical zombie apolcapyses and I won’t hesitate to bap, but will be bapped back because I’m weak as hell.

Greater Than Gods: a toss up between 2/10 and 7/10! I can vibe and be chill but I also have terrible impulse control so...

Vardir: hm....I think pretty good survival rates all around? If you ask me to fight then like, okay sure, your knees are mine. So maybe a 8/10?

When it Hungers: .......8/10 just because I’d refuse to die if I can be a cool creature. Living for the aesthetic can and will drag me outta hell. But I’m also clumsy as hell so I’d probably crash as a porcelain or hold a rooster and perish (aka, real rating is a good 3/10)

Orthall Bay: 2/10, nope. Nope I’d be taken out in a heartbeat. Monsters can go pspsps and I’d head straight into the dark creepy forest like a fool if someone comes @ me. Half the time I’ll just assume it’s sfx makeup and vibe until it’s too late.

god, never put me in a universe where I cannot squawk like a bird and throw pebbles from a window. Oof

Anon, you're so sweet! I give you a forehead smoomch <333 As for your questions...

1. If I'm not writing, I'm usually watching video essays on Youtube. My go-to channels as of right now is Disrupt and Aperture! I just really like their videos. Aside from that, I recently got into podcasts. Currently going through Hello From The Hallowoods and Shelter and Warning, which are made by queer creators!

2. Oh oof, there's quite a bit so I'm just gonna put down one thing. For some reason, I really got into collecting tiny astronaut things? I recently bought this astronaut desk light, and I've got a package coming in for the miniatures I ordered. No purpose for them other than I think they're neat <3

3. I'm a bit private with my music taste (even tho I have Spotify connected on Discord lmao), but there's 5 songs that I'm currently obsessed with. I keep replaying them over and over again. Just squeezing all the serotonin I could get outta them.

4. I can't really say I have a fave TV show or movie because I can't really just pick one, but my current fave is 9-1-1 and Resident Alien. 9-1-1 because I just really love the found-family dynamics and how the show tackles sensitive topics, and Resident Alien because it's lighthearted comedy. My all-time fave movie is Flipped! I have the book too and I like rereading from time to time <3

5. You're in for a doozy, anon, because we're rating each other's games <333

The Goodfellows: 7/10

Listen. Shenanigans with the Traveler. I would get up to so many of them and that is what'll get me possibly bodied, not the actual environment itself <3

Greater than Gods: 7/10

I like to think I have enough common sense to uhhh not recklessly flip stones that should not be flipped <3 I'm a cautious and skeptic person irl so I think I'll hold up well? Then again, it's a vast environment change and while I can adapt pretty quick, I wouldn't like the lack of control in the unknown.

Vardir: 10/10

Going off what Cruz said, Vardir is lighthearted and focused on personal growth so I think I'll be okay! Self-growth here I come, babey!

Creatures' Cradle: 8/10

Maybe I'm overestimating myself, but I think I'll be able to survive in a supernatural post-apocalyptic world! Ah, but it depends on the motivation though. I like the idea of rebuilding communities and eventually societies, but the survival turmoil would be a constant battle I'd have to overcome. If we're talking survival itself though, I think I'll do well.

When it Hungers: 8/10

That's probably my wishful thinking but I think I'll be fine. Maybe. Possibly. Don't like the idea of being regulated by an organization so if I was a non-human creature that could pose a problem but I can roll with it <3

Orthall Bay: 6/10

Assuming I'm not playing as MC, my chances of survival uhhh changes quite drastically. Not enough to guarantee an untimely demise, but certainly enough that it would constantly keep me on my toes. I think that's the safest answer I can get without spoiling anything lmao

Thank you so much for asking! It's super sweet of you <3

1. Too many :'D I knit, I sew, I do carpentry (well, learning), I bake, I'm hammering away at HTML and CSS, my job kind of encourages learning new things and I take that to picking up new hobbies!

2. My time is kind of consumed with school work and work work and WIP work so not a lot of time to pursue niche interests right now. I've been watching a lot of horror game playthroughs, true crime youtubers, and an adorable show on Netflix called the Repair Shop <3

3. My taste in music is "what am I vibing with atm?" I've been listening to a lot of 80's music atm (don't @ me), but also Lo Fang and Kaleo, and whatever spotify recommends me on my discover weekly which is usually complete chaos.

4. I love the Mummy even though it hasn't aged 100% well (I'm a librarian, of course it's one of my gotos LOL), Legally Blonde, Leverage, Jumanji (the original), I'm....very bad at having recent tastes... and very bad at remembering my favorites when asked.

The Goodfellows: I'm a creature of comfort, 5/10 if I can just luxuriate in town and not actually interact with the story sfjkdbsdkf

Creature’s Cradle: I'd like to think I have a 50/50 shot XD 5/10, I want to think I'd be decent at a zombie apocalypse but ultimately would suffer an early fate.

Greater Than Gods: 10/10 if I'm just vibing, less so if I'm involved in the actual story XD

Vardir: I'd still suffer without technology but I can also knit for a living in this world so I'm down 8/10

When it Hungers: I feel like I could vibe here, there's tech if dated, hot showers, telephones are around by now... might still get bored. 7/10 though it'd be cool to be another creature....I should make a 'what creature of snv are you' quiz!

Orthall Bay: 7/10 idk I feel like after the first monster of the week I'd just skip town XDDDD I'm the worst protagonist, I see danger I just leave.

#mod talk #long post #interact if: asks

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vivisextion · 3 years

Text

I first saw Slipknot at age 14.

No one knows how I managed it. I'm not sure I even remember. These days, you have to be 16 or 18 to get into Standing areas. I do know I had to buy tickets on the phone, back in the old days (2005, that is). A singular ticket, too - none of my friends, not even the classmate who had gone with me to see Linkin Park the year before, was that into Slipknot.

But I HAD to see them. This was the Subliminal Verses tour cycle, and Vol. 3 was my first and favourite Slipknot album, even to this day. It's the reliable old warm blanket for my soul whenever I need it. It's on right now, as I write this.

My memory isn't that good, but luckily I unearthed a livejournal (livejournal!) diary entry about the event I made the next day.

August 16, 2005. I went right after school. I went to a very conservative Anglican secondary school, too. I tried not to get caught in the bathroom, as I coloured my nails black with permanent marker (I know, don't laugh) and changed into my standard metalhead baby outfit - Slipknot band shirt, black cargo shorts, and my pride and joy: steel-toe boots I somehow managed to cajole my parents into letting me own.

I caught the bus to the open-air war memorial park where the gig was going to be. I got there at 4pm, 4 hours early. A couple other maggots were already hanging around. I found myself surrounded by tombstones, and I read them all. It was the middle of the Hungry Ghost Festival, too - a very fitting time for Slipknot to pay a visit to this godforsaken hellhole of a small town I lived in. (Especially given the paranormal circumstances surrounding the making of Vol. 3.)

While I wandered around the venue (no security or sound guys were around at all), I spotted two white vans pull up to the stage, in the middle of a clearing. It was them! I spotted Joey and missed him by a hair's breadth. I was quickly ushered behind the stone archway entrance by security then.

(Funnily enough, while walking around, I got mistaken for Joey more than once. I am the same height as him, had the same long black hair, same pale skin, and was wearing almost exactly what he had been. One person claimed from behind, I was a dead ringer, apart from when I turned around, and they realised I was Chinese.)

It was soundcheck time. A sound guy testing the mics would say random things, like "testing one two three two one.... fudge fudge, I like fudge...." The band even did Purity, so us earlybirds were given a rare treat, and we screamed along from the entrance, and drummed our fists on the sides of nearby porta-potties. I hope no one was in there at the time. Whenever we got a glance of any of them, we'd scream and cheer. Finally they left again, but were soon to return.

This was the first time I'd been a part of the metal community. I was barely allowed internet in those days. But here, random strangers were friendly, striking up conversations like they'd been friends for years. Two big guys, called Trevor and Ted, looked out for me the entire gig after, keeping other big dudes from crushing me too much (I'm 5'3, remember). Other people commented on me being so baby, because I was only 14, and said they would take care of me.

When we were finally let in, right after the usher cut the rope, I ran in, screamed "WOOOHOOO!" along with a few friends I'd made. I only briefly stopped to receive this RoadRunner Records compilation CD from a roadie, then resumed running like a madman screaming and dashing into the VIP cage.

I was right up against the barricade - the first time I would ever be at a gig. People from assorted magazines and press took photos of us, and I think I got my photo taken about 10 times at least.

(This is how I got in trouble with my parents the next day. My photo had ended up in a local paper - you can see examples of that here. They had no idea what I'd been to see the night before, and were horrified when they saw what Slipknot looked like.)

We saw Sid filming us from the stage with a camcorder and screamed at him. We saw Jim and screamed at him too, and he flashed the victory sign back at us. I remember Metallica playing at the time, another one of my favourite bands.

The concert was a brutal religious experience I will never forget. People with their arms outstretched, crying and screaming out loud, moving like the devil possessed them.

The new friends around me made sure I was alright after every song! There were huge guys fainting behind us who had to get carried out, but I endured, a tiny 14 year old child. We got a family speech as per tradition, of course. "Are you guys out there all looking out for each other? We're all one big family, and we gotta look out for each other." What Corey said held true - strangers hugged, shook hands, talked, and made friends. I was heartened by how close-knit the maggot community was. It really did feel like a family, and it's felt like that ever since.

Of course, I did my first Jump The Fuck Up. It is possibly the most euphoria I've ever experienced all at one go. (Later, in 2020, I was extremely disappointed that I didn't get to do it again in London.)

They did the death masks for Vermilion, and I remember Chris helping Sid fix his mask and shirt when they'd changed back. Sid hung out near Clown's drums for most of the time too, and hugged him from behind and just latched on at one point. It was pretty adorable.

Fun fact: The version of Eyeless you hear on the 9.0 Live album is from Singapore, as is Eeyore. There are very few photos and videos from the crowd of this gig, because in 2005, very few people had camera phones. The crowd at the Slipknot gig in 2020 was a sea of arms with phones, filming the gig rather than experiencing it. Yes, I'm going to be that cranky old geezer who complains about the good old days.

Joey as usual, was fucking amazing and never failed. However, due to the fact that I was right up front, only his tiny head was visible behind his vast drum set, I couldn't see him the entire gig.

Amazingly, the government told Slipknot they were not allowed to do obscene gestures, curse, vomit (possibly due to the decomposing crow pre-show ritual), simulate humping on objects, throw faeces, or jump off stage (looking at you, Sid). I don't think our totalitarian government knew who they were dealing with, because watch what happens next.

Near the end of the gig, Corey tells the crowd “your government has given us a laundry list of things we aren’t allowed to do, your government has told us we are not allowed to swear”. Crowd goes “BOOOOOOOOO” and Corey goes “BUT WE DON’T GIVE A FUCK!!” And they launch into Surfacing, the last song. Everyone riots. Best night of my life.

You can find the setlist from that gig here. It had everything I wanted and more.

This story later got immortalised when Kerrang asked maggots for gig stories, for an article which came out in 2020. I had forgotten entirely, until people began messaging me to tell me, and one friend sent me a scan of it!

On the way out, I managed to get a shirt. I remember calling my best friend at the time, and got everyone at the merch booth to go "IF YOU'RE 555 THEN I'M 666" for her. This shirt has since been lost to the landfill, because my Christian mother took it upon herself to dispose of it the first opportunity she got. Needless to say, our relationship is not very good.

After that, I even managed to get that Roadrunner compilation album they were giving out signed. The band was staying at the Carlton. Unfortunately, Joey wasn't there, neither was Clown, and Mick was swarmed by guitar nerds so, 6/9 it is. It is a great regret of mine that I'll never have anything signed by him, nor will I ever get to see him perform ever again.

The next day, I went to school, my head swimming. Yes, I went to see Slipknot ON A SCHOOL NIGHT. I was a giant bruise, from my ribs and my chest, to my hips and knees, from being slammed into the barricade like a screen door in a hurricane. Most of all, my sore, headbanged-out neck could barely hold my head up. Classmates thought I had been in a fight. I was torn between battle-scarred exhaustion and hyperactive ranting about the most amazing gig of my short life (it still is, to this day). When teachers spoke to me, I wanted to reply, "Fuck trigonometry! I've just seen SLIPKNOT. Do you not understand that my world is different? Do you not understand that *I* am now different?"

My country was a small, conservative town that Slipknot had graced with their unholy presence. Corey Taylor once said that where he grew up in Iowa had a way of making a 16 year old boy feel like a 36 year old man (or something to that effect). I felt that in my weary bones as a teenager, being from a place just like that. Years later, Watain would run into worse trouble, and wouldn't even be allowed to perform. The Christian stranglehold is stronger than ever. It was a good thing that back then Slipknot had the element of surprise, striking serpent-fast and choking this society by the neck for a too-brief time, before they departed.

After that, my desire to play the drums only grew like a weed. Joey Jordison had, has, and will always inspire me as a drummer, and seeing the beast live (or what little I could spy behind the massive riser) had only spurred me on. I had always been a noisemaker, be it driving my parents mad with chopsticks on pots and pans, or driving my teachers mad with pencils on my desk. But of course, my parents wouldn't have any of it. I'd have to wait a good 14 more years before I'd be able to afford lessons and later, a kit of my own. Better late than never, right?

There will never be enough words to describe the impact Joey has had on my life. And it isn't just Slipknot, either. I could write another essay on his time with the Murderdolls and its influence on my own gender-non-conforming ways. Suffice to say, my wardrobe doesn't look too dissimilar to his during the early Dead in Hollywood days.

I told my boss I could not come into work today. I was grieving. I said that my music teacher died, as I didn't think she'd understand the magnitude of my loss. In a way, it's true. And I am not the only one Joey has nudged on the path to being a musician, that much is certain. To the rest of us, I wish strength and love for you in this difficult time. The best way to honour Joey, who truly loved music, both the creation and appreciation of it, is to pass that gift on. Teach it to someone. He is the reason I picked up the sticks in the first place, and one day, they'll be handed on, the heavy metal baton for the next generation.

And finally: remember that the ones we have lost are never truly gone.

Vinnie

P.S. See if you can spot me in the crowd photos in this post!

#Joey Jordison #Slipknot #Murderdolls

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herstroywritten · 3 years

Text

No, really. They’re just friends.

Ya, I have no excuse for this one either. But listen, I thought I got the Rivusa jitters out with that last fic and I most definitely lied to myself. I’m gonna be writing one of these a week at this point. Idk. Maybe I’ll take prompts. If this is how my brain has decided its going to deal with this obsession, I may as well share it. Enjoy this circus of angst and ~soft~ feelz, fellow clowns.

She felt it before she saw it.

It took all of her strength not to crumble to her knees and just throw up her dinner's contents onto the earth beneath her feet. She's not sure how long they had been fighting for, but she knows they've never gone for this long before. She can feel it in her organs and the thumping beat of her powers within her mind as she desperately tries to not let the agony of all the burned ones around them get to her. They're screeching and wailing in inhuman sounds as swords are buried within their bony chests and magic is aimed directly at their suffering bodies.

It's Musa's worst nightmare, standing here in the middle of a battlefield trying to direct everyone in the directions of the never-ending stream of monsters while wielding a small dagger tight enough that she swears her fingers have become one with the hilt of the weapon. She watches as another creature lunges for Terra who is currently preoccupied with the two burned ones in front of her, strangling them with vines and wrapping them in thorns. Before she really has any time to think about what she's about to do, she jumps the creature coming from behind, wraps her body around it as they both go tumbling to the ground and plunges the dagger in her hand into its back, piercing through the position where a heart once existed when the body this beast currently inhabits belonged to a human.

She's so caught up in the agony that radiates from the animal-like creature that she barely registers the tingle of rage and bloodlust the blooms in the back of her mind. When she finally forces her attention away from the burned one below her, that same feeling becomes much more prominent. She never gets the chance to warn the others, not before she hears Sky scream his name from across the field of burning bodies and barren wasteland.

"Riven!"

She whips around so fast that she loses her footing, falls flat on her face, and as she scrambles to get back up she realizes that the tingle of bloodlust she felt was so loud because the creature that was emitting it was right in front of her, charging at her full speed. She turned her gaze to the right of the field, watching as Sky ran past Bloom and Stella and Aisha screaming Riven's name in voice gone raw. She can't see where he's looking, where Riven is. All she can see is the burned one making its way to her and she remembers that she should do something but her brain has gone numb, finally giving up on her and it feels like her body is retreating onto itself as the noise around her slowly eats away at her soul.

She watches frozen in place as Riven comes up from behind her, pushes her to the side, and lets the creature run straight into him instead. It takes a swing at him, scrapes like wild at whatever part of his skin it can get its claws on. She watches in horror, hears a noise from outside her mind and for a second she thinks it’s the screech of another burned one lurching for her but then she feels her jaw stretch and her vocal cords strain against her throat and then it becomes so very clear that the noise she's hearing is her own scream sounding his name. And she's not sure if she imagines this last part, but there are waves of purple air passing through the space across the expanse of the field. A terrible blast sounds in the distance (or was it right next to her?), and her body finally gives in to exhaustion.

________________________________________________________________

She awakens with his name on her lips, dreams of his body curling onto the bloody grass beneath him fresh in her mind. As she moves her body into an upward position, she feels two pairs of steady arms on top of her, pushing her down onto the bed once more. She's struggling to open her eyes as there are bright lights above her and her neck feels too tight to twist in any other direction. When she finally manages, she finds Aisha and Bloom at her sides. Their eyes are filled with worry, as they exchange glances between the two of them.

"Do you think she'll pass out again?" Hearing Aisha's calm voice puts Musa in a better mood, reminds her that things can't be too bad if her suitemate is speaking in such a collected tone.

"I don’t know. She's woken up three other times before and then just knocked out right after. And she's been screaming for at least an hour now…" Bloom's reply takes her by surprise. She wants to tell them she's fine, they can stop worrying about her. She can feel their anxiety heighten by the second and her mind is too numb to try to block out their feelings, so instead she's bombarded with them in neverending waves. Her throat feels like sandpaper as she tries to speak, so she goes for a moan instead. Aisha and Bloom's heads snap away from each other and down at her form as soon as they register the sound.

"Musa? Can you hear me?" She turns to Aisha as much as she can in her state and shoots her a small smile.

"Yeah…" her voice dies as she attempts to speak again.

"Oh! Let me get you some water!" Bloom's sprints out of the room (her and Terra's bedroom she realizes now as she watches the plants that Terra so delicately hung from the ceiling sway in the silent motion of the air around them). Aisha stands by her side and grabs her hand. Musa can't really see her face from this position, but she can feel the relief and joy rolling off her suitemate. She tries to get up again, and Aisha is at her side in seconds, pushing pillows up above the headboard and trying to make the awkward position as comfortable as possible.

Bloom returns with the water and some hot tea, and she drinks both glasses without complaining about the fact that it's not the tea Terra usually prepares for them in the morning. She's just grateful to be able to feel her vocal chords functioning once again.

"Wow, you must have been so thirsty," Bloom chuckles as Musa drowns the last of her piping hot tea.

"You have no idea," she manages to finally croak out some words. "How long have I been out?"

"A day, give or take," replies Aisha.

"A whole day! Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Umm, we tried… but you were going through a bit of a magic stress-induced coma."

"A what?"

"Magic stress-induced coma, or at least that's what Dowling explained it to us as. You overexerted your powers to their breaking point and your body and needed time to rejuvenate itself," Aisha explained.

"Kinda like what happened to me last semester…" Bloom's voice grew thinner and thinner as she finished that line. Musa turned to look at her redhead suitemate, furrowing her eyebrows in confusion.

"But that happened when you got your wings… and I didn't even do anything out of the ordinary…" Bloom and Aisha exchanged looks at her comment, and she practically shivers at the intense emotions of caution and anxiety that her mind picks up.

"At least, I don’t think I did," she narrows her eyes at the two girls in front of her. "There's something you're not telling me. What is it?"

There's an awkward silence as she watches Bloom and Aisha communicate through their eyes, as if deciding whether to tell her or not and how.

It's Bloom who finally speaks up. "Something did happen. A lot happened, actually. We're not sure how exactly, none of us were really paying attention because we were busy dealing with the burned ones. Sky probably saw the most out of all of us. He says he saw a burned one coming for you, and he tried to call your name but you didn’t hear. And then he saw Riven running toward you, but he realized too late that Riven wasn't holding his swords and that the monster was getting too close too fast for him to do anything but block the attack. Sky started running after Riven, but it was too late-"

"What do you mean, it was too late?" Musa's voice rises in pitch, her nerves fray at the edges as the nightmare she'd been having came to reality.

"It tore into Riven's skin. Deep." Aisha continues the story, and before Musa could open her mouth to ask something else, Aisha was talking again. "That's not the whole of it." That’s not the whole of it? What else could there be? Where was this going? Come to think of it, why did she remember none of it?

"As soon as Riven's body landed on the ground, there was a bright light and a sound that surprised us all. This is the part that we all remember… the sound was coming from you Musa. You were glowing, and the earth was shaking at the force of whatever noise was coming through. We couldn't see you for a few seconds, just a lot of light. I remember the burned one I was dealing with a the time fell backward on itself and, and… I don’t know, it, like, disintegrated. Without a sword through its chest or any outward magic. All of them just fell to the ground in pieces." By this point, Musa's mind is reeling. How was that possible? And why did any of it matter? Where was Riven? Where were Terra and Stella? Sky?

"I got to you first," continues Bloom. "You were in the air, and you had wings behind your back Musa. You got your wings."

"What?!"

"I know, I know. It's insane, but I swear you had them, and then when I finally got close enough to you to touch you, you were falling. The wings had run their course and your energy was basically drained. I managed to fly you back down to the ground but you were already passed out at that point."

Musa doesn't exactly know how to process all this information, but she doesn't give herself too much time to dwell on it. There are other problems at hand. "Where are Stella and Terra?"

"Terra is in the infirmary, helping her dad with some of the wounded. Stella broke a rib and sprained her ankle during the battle, so she's in the infirmary too but Harvey said she should be ok. We've been taking turns visiting her, making sure she doesn't somehow try to sneak out. She's been asking about you. Bloom was just there with her, and she left Sky on Stella duty. Honestly, that girl has all of Alfea watching her and making sure she doesn't do something stupid. Future queen and all-" Aisha's rambling. Her words are picking up pace, and even if Musa wasn't an empath, she would have been able to notice the unease in her emotions and the perturbation behind her attitude.

"And Riven? Where's Riven?" God, please let him be okay. That stupid, stubborn specialist who insisted that he train her when Dowling had asked Silva for a personal trainer for Musa a few weeks ago, right after they had managed to push Rosalind out of the school.

Her breathing picks up as she watches Bloom watch Aisha, who's now looking at the wall in front of her and frowning.

"Oh for god's sake, just spit it out! You're killing me."

It seems Bloom has finally worked up the nerve, as she catches Musa's eye and states in a quiet voice, "He's also in the infirmary. But, it's not good, Musa. The burned one that attacked him is gone, but it got him right in his heart. The poison already made contact. Professor Harvey is trying his best, and Dowling tried some magic healing too, but it's just not… it's not working. He's going into some sort of surgery right now. Harvey is going to try to kill the poison from the inside out."

Musa's world is spinning, and she feels her breathing quicken. Damn him, she thinks. Damn Riven and his stupid need to jump right into danger. She's furious at him for doing it, for jumping in front of her when that blow was so very clearly meant for her to take. Perhaps she would have been able to handle it better, she had magic and could likely recover faster. It should have been her on the surgery table right now.

"Musa, I'm sorry. We don't really know what's going on between you guys and we didn't want to say the wrong thing, so we haven't asked. But we're here if you want to talk, and we want you to know-"

Musa cuts Bloom off, "I want to go see him." Bloom and Aisha exchange another look, and Musa thinks she might actually lose her mind if they keep doing that.

"Stop that. Stop looking at each other like that, and stop looking at me like I'm a pity party you decided to attend. And for the love of God, stop talking as if he's going to die."

"Musa-" Aisha never gets the chance to speak.

"I want to see him."

"I don't think-"

"You're either going to help me get off this bed and to the infirmary, or you're going to watch me crawl my way there. Your choice." Musa narrows her eyes at the two girls, waiting to hear the answer she knows they'll pick. If there's one thing this semester has taught her, it's that she would do anything for these girls, and they would do anything for her. It's become an unspoken rule amongst the suite: One of them makes a dumb choice, they all make a dumb choice. Bloom wanted to go follow voices in the night, they all followed noises until the sun came up. Stella wanted to sneak out to spy on her mother in an effort to find the hidden secrets of Solaria, they were all ready to sneak into the royal palace and play dirty. Terra wanted to sneak in secret potions from her cousin into the school so that they can bring back Headmistress Dowling, they all offered to hide random potions in their sock drawers, in their purses, under their beds, between the cracks of their wooden floorboards. Aisha wanted to sneak into the East Wing to find the war room Bloom had stumbled upon last semester so that she could compare documents and find information while Rosalind's guards stood watch just meters away, the rest of the girls created a distraction. In other words, if one falls, they all fall.

And Musa had never asked for them to fall with her, had never wanted them to sink with her. Not when they begged her to let them follow her on her nightly walks after Sam and her had broken up. Not when the anniversary of her mother's death creeped up on her during Rosalind's reign of terror, and they asked if she wanted them to sneak her out and back home so that she could visit the grave. She'd never asked because honestly, she felt that if they were going to get caught doing anything, it should be something that was going to make the world better, not something that included her unresolved past traumas. But, fuck it, she was asking now. And she knew they would not say no.

"Musa, he's in surgery. Harvey is about to cut his chest open, I don’t think you want to see that." Aisha's words are gentle, carrying with them waves of concern and protectiveness. Musa knows that her suitemates are just trying to make sure she makes it out of this somewhat unscathed, but she also knows that Riven has already left his marks and scars all over her body. They may be trying to heal those same scars before they become too fully bleeding gashes, but she's trying to make sure they stay there, that he stays with her. That's the only way she's coming out of this without any wounds.

"I know. And I'm going to be there when they do it. I'm going to take his pain. He took that blow for me. It was mine to begin with. It's only fair."

"Musa-"

"They can't use painkillers on him. I know they can't. Harvey couldn’t use them on Sam when he was wounded at the end of last semester. The other mind fairies are not as advanced as I am, I've been practicing with Dowling since she got back. He needs me. And I need to do this. Please, let me."

It doesn't take too much to break them down. "Alright," sighs Aisha.

________________________________________________________________

Sky refuses to let her into the room.

Apparently, Stella was not the only thing he was on the lookout for. Silva and Dowling had positioned him outside the surgery door of the infirmary, telling him to make sure he let no one in until Harvey said so. When Musa had entered through the doors, holding on to Aisha and Bloom as she stepped her way through the room with as much grace as she could muster in her condition, Stella had called her name from her bed of bandages causing Sky to leave his post and run to help the two girls struggling to hold her weight beneath them. Terra, who had been across the room tending to a wounded soldier with Sam, left her brother to finish stitching up the cut and made her way to Musa.

"I need to get into the surgery room," she'd said before Sky and Terra got the chance to ask her how she was. And then Sky began his speech about how he couldn't let her in, and about how it wasn't something she would want to see and honestly, she wished she was able to control minds at this moment instead of just emotions.

In the end, it’s Stella who says, "Oh, for God's sake. If she wants to do it, let her. She'll get in there one way or another, the least we can do is make sure she doesn’t try to climb the window and break a leg or something." Her voice lilts in a sarcastic manner, but her eyes are steady as she catches Musa's eye and nods her head toward the surgery door at the end of the room. Musa steps away from Sky and the girls, stumbling her way toward that same door, and this time, Sky didn't try to stop her.

She cracks the door open, and finds Harvey holding a sterile knife to an unconscious Riven's chest as he lays on a cold, gray bed table. She made it right before the first cut.

"Stop!"

Harvey turns to her, surprised to find her up and about. "Musa, you shouldn't-"

"I'm going to take his pain." It's a statement that leaves no room for arguments. Maybe Professor Harvey realizes he needs to move quick before the specialist on the table takes a turn for the worst or maybe he's just finally stopped trying to pretend like he can control what hormonal and impulsive teenagers do, but he doesn't bother to try his hand at convincing her that this is maybe not the best idea when she herself is worn out. He just nods his head and lets her take Riven's hand.

And then she forces herself to watch as the knife cuts into his skin, below the black and red wound that adorns his chest. She doesn't flinch when his breath hitches in his sleep and she feels white, blinding pain fill her mind. She doesn’t back away as his body begins to shiver and her legs shake along with him. She simply locks her arms across his shoulders to stop his body from moving and let Professor Harvey finish what he started, lowering her head to the crook of his neck, lips brushing his ear. "Don’t you dare," she whispered, furious tears streaming down her face and onto his neck as her body takes the brunt of his pain. "Don’t you dare die in my arms."

She takes his pain even after Harvey is finished and Riven's chest is stitched back up, partially because she doesn't want him to suffer and partially because his pain has become so engrained in her mind that she can't seem to let him go. Before the professor leaves, he drags a chair to the bedside and pushes her onto it, her body still curled onto the boy on the surgery bed.

"Sit."

So she sits, and she cries, and she breathes in his scent, and she intertwines the fingers of her right hand with his, her left hand finding its way to his hair. She rubs circles into his palm, and plays with the tendrils of his hair as she watches his face and cries.

_______________________________________________________________

Six hours later, her cries have become hiccups and his eyes are fluttering open.

"Hello, gorgeous," he whispers, his green eyes focusing on her brown ones in the light of the rising moon through the windows of the cramped surgery room. She's relieved to see his usual smirk find its way onto his face.

She chokes on her laugh, and fresh tears start streaming down her face, these ones more happy than the last. "Hi," she whispers back.

They don't say anything else that night, both too tired and too elated to not be dead. And, perhaps, too scared to say what they both probably already know. So she sits next to him with her hands still all over him, and he watches her eyes until they close and she falls asleep beside him.

________________________________________________________________

He spends three weeks in the infirmary.

They situate him next to Stella, and the two of them spend the days and nights bickering humorously back and forth. He uses her title as an insult because he knows it gets under her skin and he might as well take advantage of the fact that she's bedridden and her powers are still weak so she can't blind him for the comments with either magic or her two bare hands. She digs into him about Musa, because she can and she wants to make sure that her friend isn't going to come out of whatever this is with a broken heart. And also, she's just nosy and wants to give her other suitemates some details when she finally gets out of the health wing. Too bad for her though, because Riven stands firm on the hill that they're "friends," a term Stella's never heard him use before and briefly debates if that's his equivalent for "girlfriend".

Sky and the girls visit every day before and after classes. They make sure Riven and Stella never eat breakfast, lunch, or dinner alone. They keep them up to date on the latest gossip. Terra and Bloom bring a bunch of bord games for them to play, and it’s the weirdest and most comforted Riven has ever felt. Sky even sneaks in his vape, which Harvey finds and immediately takes away, stating that he can't have substances in his system until he is fully healed.

But Musa, Musa never leaves. Not even when Stella leaves the infirmary and it's just Riven in there. Her friends have to force her out the door and to class in the morning, and to her bed when it reaches nighttime. She brings her headphones with her every day, crawls into his bed without asking, and slips one of the earbuds into his ear. They sit there and listen to music and just talk. He teases her about the songs he thinks are sappy, she dares him to keep making fun of her music taste so that she can push him off the bed.

"In my fragile state?! You wouldn't dare."

"Try me."

"Oh, I want to. Believe me, I want to." And she blushes and ducks her head below the hollow of his collarbone.

One night, when the girls come to pick up Musa and take her back to her room at midnight, as has become their nightly duty now, they find the couple snuggled into one another, headphone strings tangled between them. They can't bring themselves to tear the two apart, so after Bloom snaps a picture of them huddled up, they leave.

"Am I not catching something here, or are they still not a thing?" Terra asks as they exist the room, ever the confused one when it comes to these situations.

"As far as I know, they're still just friends and he's still an idiot, according to Musa."

Stella rolls her eyes at Aisha's response. "Yeah, sure. They're just friends, and Sky and Bloom are just acquaintances who casually make out in their free time."

________________________________________________________________

It's been two days since Riven was released from bedrest, and the whole gang is huddled around a picnic blanket between two trees on the far side of campus. It was Bloom's idea to have a "we made it to the end of the school year alive and in one piece!" picnic.

Sky and Bloom are sitting next to one of the trees that they've situated the large checkered blanket under. She's leaning against the tree, and he's laying down with his head on her lap. He laughs at her as she tells the story of her first picnic, his blue eyes following her every movement.

The rest of them are situated around the other edges of the blanket, listening to the story and laughing along.

"Ducks?!" exclaims Stella. "You were chased by ducks?!"

"Dude, don't laugh! Those things are scary! And when they're angry, they flap their wings at you-"

"Ah, yes," Musa jokes form her position next to Riven and against the other tree. "The wings are what really raise the fear level when it comes to ducks." She pops the last of her grapes into her mouth, and Riven watches her as she casually leans forward to grab some off his plate.

"Hey! Hands off, pixie. You have your own plate." She grabs the grapes anyway before getting back into sitting position.

"Ok, first off, it's fairy. Not pixie-"

"Not with your height, it's not." She punches his arm for that comment, the same arm she was practically sprawled over when he'd been dying on the surgery table, and he has to physically stop himself from shivering at her touch.

"Second, I'll trade you for the grapes."

"You don’t have anything I want, " he grumbles as he pushes her hand away from his biceps, only to have her slide her fingers between his and use him as leverage to pull herself closer to him. She's practically sitting on his lap when she leans in to his face, forgetting that there are others around them, eyes boring into his and whispers, "Are you sure about that?" No, he's most definitely not sure about it. And she knows it, so he just grumbles something about how he doesn’t really like grapes anyway and hands her his whole plate.

And if the rest notice that Musa never leaves Riven's lap, they don't mention it. The gang spends the better part of the afternoon sprawled out on that blanket and Musa and Riven spend it basically on top of each other. They're practically inches away from each other's faces each time he turns to make a stupid comment about the stories that are being told and they just get closer and closer each time she turns to chastise him about it.

And if the rest of the girls or Sky notice Riven's hand on Musa's hip as she leans into him, her left hand instinctively resting on the nape of his neck and twirling the ends of his hair between her fingers (a force of habit now), or the way his eyes follow her as she leans forward to shuffle the deck of Uno cards in the center of their little circle, or the undeniable heart eyes they throw at each other when they think no one else is staring… well, no one mentions that either. But the smirk Stella aims at the other girls and the eyebrow that she raises in their direction basically screams, "Yeah, right. Just friends."

________________________________________________________________

It's been one week since Riven was released from bedrest, and he's still not allowed anywhere near the training grounds for fear that his injury needs a little more time to recover. He showed up to combat class anyway, hoping Silva wouldn't notice or just wouldn't care. Silva did notice, and he immediately forced Riven off the training mats and on the benches. So that's how Riven ends up sitting on the sidelines, watching Musa spar with Tames, a third year specialist whose eyes linger a tad bit too long on Musa's legs as she twirls around and aims a high kick right at his chest, knocking him to the ground. Riven has to remind himself multiple times that Tames is nice guy, decent guy. He doesn't deserve a black eye. It's not his fault the Musa just so happens to have a great pair of legs and knows how to use them. A thought that then brings about an onslaught of fantasies to Riven's mind. And with those fantasies comes to mind another fact, that Riven should not feel so protective over a girl that's obviously not his girlfriend… Right?

By the halfway mark of the training session, he's pissed and has already considered sneaking off to the back of the school and smoking a joint or two. Maybe go for a walk, punch a wall, kick a tree. Whatever the hell. He'll do anything else than just sit here and watch Musa pin Tames to the ground with her legs and chest all over him one more time.

He's so frustrated that he doesn’t even notice as Musa leaves the mat mid-session and sprints to him, grabbing her duffel bag on the way.

"Wait up!" He slows down but doesn't stop walking. When she finally catches up to him, they're behind the school and he makes his way to one of the many pillars that surround the walls of the castle. As he leans against it and pulls out a joint, she reaches upward and grabs it from his hands before it reaches his lips. He feels the tips of her fingers brush against his mouth instead and wonders how the hell that gets him higher than any drug he's ever tried.

"You're not supposed to be smoking, " she states matter-of-factly, narrowing her eyes at him.

"And you're not supposed to be here. Seems like we've both some decisions." What he wants to say is, "Stay. Don’t go back to that training mat. Stay here with me instead."

She sighs. "Riven, Harvey made it very clear that you have to hold off on the smoking until he's sure your body is fully recovered."

"Not this again," he groans. "Don't tell me you're also going to make me sit on a bench and watch as Tames basically undresses you with his eyes-"

"What are you on about?" She's looking at him as though he's grown a second head.

"Oh, please. You can't tell me you haven’t noticed his eyes all over you in the past hour. It's honestly getting to be a little bit creepy." Her eyes flicker to his and she holds his gaze, a look of amusement on her face.

"Oh, and when you do it, it's not creepy?"

"At least I don't try to hide it." Her brown eyes gleam up at him as she presses herself and those heavenly legs against his form, perching herself on her tippy toes so that they're almost at eye-level.

"Clearly not. I mean, I guess Tames could have been staring occasionally, but Riven, your eyes didn't wander off of me once during that training session." He nearly chokes on his own spit as she smirks up at him. He'd really thought she hadn't noticed.

"I wasn't-"

"You were. That's ok, I do it too." The air around them suddenly feels heavier, and he watches as she pulls her eyes to his mouth, licks her lips with the tip of her tongue. He wants to kiss her, to test just how willing she is to practice all the things she's been implying for the past few weeks.

"Oi! Riven! Musa! Combat class is on the other side of campus!" It's Silva and he's clearly not amused at their run away from class. Riven questions for a hot second how bad it would be for him if he murdered a professor in cold blood, but then Musa's eyes give him a sultry little look as she presses herself just a little closer to him before pulling apart and turning to the combat professor.

"Sorry, Professor Silva. I forgot my duffel bag at the stone circle and Riven was just helping me grab it." Her words are smooth as honey and nonchalant, acting as if their teacher hadn’t just caught them in a very awkward position at a very awkward time.

"Uh huh. I'm sure he was. Get back on the mat, Musa." And then she just walks her way back to the grounds without even giving him a second look. But he watches her as she practically saunters her way back to Tames and he swears her hips have an extra sway to them.

"Damn it," he thinks. She's right, he does watch her every move.

________________________________________________________________

It's been three weeks since Riven was released from bedrest, which means it's been about a month of innuendos, not-so innocent touches, and downright dirty looks. At this point, the sexual tension has gotten to everyone around Riven and Musa. Bets have been placed on when the inevitable will happen and the Winx girls have become more invested in this particular progression of events than any of their coursework. Even Aisha stops stressing over exam season and joins in on the speculation.

So when it finally happens, Terra doesn't even blink when she walks to her room on a Sunday afternoon after a long day at the greenhouse, only to hear some very specific sounds coming from the other side of the door. She turns right back around and into the living room before the moans start.

She finds Stella on the couch filing her nails and Bloom sitting across from her flipping through a magazine lazily.

"Stella, I owe you 20."

#rivusa #fate the winx saga #musa #musa fate #riven #riven fate

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