#film analysis to come guys

[whetstonefires]

So I can't reply to @phoenixyfriend having replied to my reblog because either they've blocked me or they don't do DMs with non-mutuals despite suggesting that as a preferable forum for disagreement, but in brief:

My reblog was 'necessary' within the very limited definition of that word that applies to fandom blogging because that post was not a post About Tony Stark. I don't engage with posts About Tony Stark or most characters in general that I disagree with, in general! It's rude and life is too short.

That post, however, was not about Tony. It was a conversation between bloggers asserting an argument for why people who don't agree with your headcanons are morally inferior and have Bad Corrupt Motives.

"What does it say that Steve is, in fandom, often considered a better/more qualified speaker on the topic of chronic illness and disability than Tony" and "these people would rather listen to the white, able-bodied guy than the person actually forced to live with the consequences of life-long disability" and "viewers with that perspective continue to see his disability as a sign that he's still a bad person, because he hasn't 'earned' a cure the way Steve did."

(Which again is wild as a take because Iron Man 3 has tony 'earn' his way out of both physical damage and PTSD through willpower and smartness in the ending montage, because inspiration porn doesn't work if you stay damaged.)

It was a post about the fandom. Accusing other actual human beings of being morally at fault for how they interpreted the marvel cinematic universe.

Not like, an intense horrible attack post as these things go, but it still wasn't about characters. It was about other fans. That is different from talking about characters! Your post was about how it's sus and shameful for people to disagree with you, not about your actual positions and why they're right. Let alone about the character. That doesn't fall under the curtain of 'don't start shit' because shit was already started.

Like I don't have any Avengers fic, haven't been in the fandom for several years, and I was still sitting here scrolling my dash getting these Bad Person Motives assigned to me just for thinking one character was more meaningful disability representation, that I would be interested in hearing from on the subject, than another.

You made inflammatory statements about other actual people in a public forum, where it could be predicted they would see it.

And then flew off the handle when someone went over your post asserting their alternate perspective, carefully avoiding attacking you personally or assigning you evil motives, which would have been incredibly easy except it's a shitty way to interact so no, and speaking only in general terms about things they found personally annoying.

If you can't deal with people reblogging your posts to argue that you're being unfair, then maybe don't post about how other people only disagree with you about your blorbos because you are a better human being than those people. I mean.

[that-was-anticlimactic]

learned new things about a really pretty painting today and learned about a french artist from the 1800s that i didn’t know about before i love teaching

[translaytonblr]

thinking abt bringing my laptop to school so i can write my essay at one of the cafes in the area. i need to write or i will die

[always-a-slut-4-ghouls]

I just remembered this one time I had a teacher get mad at me because when she asked me what gender came to mind first when she said trucker (she was trying to prove how sexism gets ingrained into us from society) I didn’t actually have a gender come to mind. Just a list of everyone I remember meeting who had that career. My uncle did come to mind first on the list but that was because he was my fucking un cle. This kept happening for any job I knew people who had. If I didn’t know anyone the results may or may not have been whatever she wanted, but she was very mad that if I knew anyone (often multiple people) with that job they would all bombard me at once in rapid succession the moment someone asks me to picture someone with that career

[gikairan]

Hey guys, wanna hear the worst take i've heard in a while? "Fable Trailer is Bad because it shows contempt towards people who want to play a Hero type character"

Like my dude, my fellow, my guy. ..... The character doing the voice over is a literal Giant. And clearly a boss battle. Gee i wonder why a Giant might not like a Hero type character? 🙄

[waitimcomingtoo]

A Film By Peter Parker

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Synopsis: Peter gets back into making little videos once the two of you start hanging out

warning: extreme 2017 homecoming era nostalgia

Masterlist

Of course he went for Liz.

Liz was the ingénue. She was perfect in every possible way. Perfect grades, perfect face, and the perfect boy pining after her. You’d been crushing on Peter since the third grade but with Liz around, he never noticed you.

But Liz was gone now. She had moved to Oregon following her dad’s arrest and taken Peter’s feelings for her with her. Now that she was gone, you decided it was time to stop pining after Peter from afar and start pining from up close. And so, when you walked into the cafeteria that day, you didn’t sit at the end of the table like you usually did.

“Oh, hey.” Peter smiled in surprise when you sat down next to him. Smiling was good. Smiling meant he wasn’t creeped out by you sitting so close. You gulped before giving him best smile back.

“Hi.”

“What are you doing here?” Ned asked, making Peter give him a look. You immediately regretted your decision and wished you’d just stayed in your usual spot.

“What do you mean? She always sits with us.” Peter pointed out.

“No, she always sits down there. She’s never actually sat with us before.” Ned replied and gestured to the end of the lunch table.

“Yes, but I’m sitting here today because I needed Peters help with the chemistry homework.” You said and put your chemistry notebook on the table. You knew you couldn’t just randomly sit with them without a reason, so you came prepared.

“Oh, for Mr. Eddie’s class? It’s easy. I’ll show you my notes.” Peter’s offered with a smile. You returned the smile as he pulled out his own notebook. It was a win/win for you since you actually needed help with the homework and it would start a conversation with Peter. While he was explaining the problem to you, you never once looked down at the notebook. You were too focused on the curve of Peter’s suspiciously long eyelashes, the longest you’d ever seen on a boy. Ned noticed the way you were staring his his best friend and frowned a little.

“Does that make sense?” Peter’s asked when he was done explaining.

“Yeah, it does. Wow, thanks Peter. It sounds so easy the way you explain it. I wish this stuff came as naturally to me as it does for you. You’re so smart.” You said as if you had listened to a single word he had said.

“That’s nice of you to say but I’m really not that smart. I just like chemistry.” He replied as he blushed from the compliment.

“Oh, come on. You’re the smartest guy I know. You’re the only one that answers questions in that class. And you always get them right. When Mr. Eddie asks if anyone has any questions, I don’t raise my hand because I don’t even know what I’m confused about yet.”

“That’s I feel in English. I can barely make it through the first line in a poem and you’re already going back and forth with Ms. Teague about Pindaric odes or whatever they’re called.”

“You listen to when I talk in English?” You asked with a soft smile.

“Of course I do.” Peter shrugged. “I always find the reading boring until you raise your hand and talk about how you interpreted it. You make it interesting.”

“I liked that book we read when the kids ate the other kids.” Ned said and interrupted the moment. Your smile dropped as you and Peter looked at him with disgust.

“The one with the flies-“

“We know.” Peter cut him off.

“Anyways, thank you for helping me with the homework. I’ve been stuck on it all week.” You said to Peter.

“Ugh. That’s been me with my paper for Mrs. Teagues class. And it’s due tomorrow.” Peter groaned.

“Oh, the analysis essay? I could help you with that.” You offered.

“Really? You’d help me?” Peter smiled in surprise.

“Yeah. I already wrote mine. It would be no problem.”

Ned was watching this back and forth conversation for a while until it clicked it in head. He gasped and slapped the table, making you and Peter look at him.

“Oh my God.” Ned said. “That’s why you’re sitting here. You have a-“

“Can I talk to you for a second, Ned?” You quickly cut him off when you realized where that sentence was going. Before Ned could even answer, you grabbed his arm and pulled him outside the cafeteria to talk in private.

“You like Peter!” Ned whispered harshly. You clamped your hand over his mouth and pushed him up against the wall.

“You need to keep your mouth shut.” You hissed. “Yes, I like Peter, okay? I’ve had a crush on Peter since middle school. He never noticed me when Liz was around but now that she’s in Oregon, I might finally have my chance. I don’t want to scare him off so just keep your mouth shut and let me handle this.”

You took your hand off Ned’s mouth and he started to gasp for air.

“Oh, please. Your nose wasn’t covered. You could breathe just fine.” You said with a roll of your eyes. Ned stopped pretended and straightened up.

“So you actually like Peter? For his personality?”

“Yes. Is that so hard to believe?”

“Kinda, yeah.” Ned admitted.

“I like everything about him. And I’m gonna tell him that. Just please, don’t say anything before I do. I’ll tell him when I’m ready.”

“Are you going to cast a love spell on him using a lock of his hair?” Ned whispered to you.

“What? No. Why would you even ask me that?”

“Because you’re a witch.” Ned said like it was obvious.

“I’m not a witch.” You groaned. “I just accidentally cackled that one time but it was only because I had phlegm in my throat.”

“Then about that time on the bus?”

“We’ve been over this. It was just a coincidence that that biker fell off his bike after I gestured with my hand. I didn’t move him with my mind.”

“And that one time in physics?” Ned narrowed his eyes.

“I still don’t know how that guys shirt caught on fire.” You shrugged. “It’s a mystery to me.”

“It caught on fire after he made fun of you for being a witch.” Ned pointed out.

“Maybe he was just standing too close to the flame.” You shrugged.

“He was standing in the doorway. There was no flame.” Ned reminded you.

“The magic of science.” You shrugged again.

“But what about that time-“

“Don’t bring up the nosebleed.” You whined.

“I am gonna bring up the nosebleed.” Ned hissed. “In sixth grade, our Spanish teacher got a nosebleed right after he told you to stop staring out the window and made everyone laugh at you. How do you explain that?”

“You’ve made your point, okay? Now are you gonna tell Peter or not?”

“Look, I’m not gonna expose your gross secret feelings, as gross and secret as they may be.” Ned sighed. “But Peter is still my best friend so I have to look out for him. I don’t want any spells cast on him.”

“That’s fine. There will not be any spells.” You held your your hands in defense. Just then, Flash walked by and laughed when he saw the two of you talking.

“Woah. What is this, the friendless loser convention?” Flash snorted.

“Shut up.” You snapped. Flash immediately tripped over his feet and fell to the ground, making Ned look at you with wide eyes.

“Witch!” He whispered harshly as he pointed a finger at you.

“Shut up. Let’s go back inside.” You rolled your eyes and pulled Ned back into the cafeteria.

Later that day, you met up with Peter in the library to go over your assignments. You started with his English essay and finished that within an hour before moving on to your chemistry homework.

“You can plug the numbers into your formula now using the method I taught you. And then you just solve for x.” Peter explained as you worked out a problem together.

“Hm. You make it sound so simple.” You sighed and leaned on your hand. Peter saw the way you were staring at him in his peripheral vision and felt his face heat up.

“It’s, uh, it’s pretty easy once you get the hang of it. I never liked the way Mr. Eddie taught it. I figured this out myself and it’s worked much better for me.”

“Thanks for helping me. You’re a good teacher.” You said and put your hand on his arm. Peter laughed shyly at the contact and cleared his throat.

“Thanks. And so are you. That was the best essay I’ve ever produced. I honestly worry she won’t believe I wrote it.”

“Well if she says anything, I can vouch for you. You put in good work on this essay. You deserve the credit.” You assured him, making Peter blush all over again. It occurred to Peter that he never realized how pretty you were. You’d been classmates since 3rd grade so he always looked at you as just another girl in his class. Now that you had his full attention, he didn’t feel like looking away.

“Thanks. I appreciate you helping me write it. I know it can be frustrating to work with me because of my dyslexia.”

“It’s no problem. And it wasn’t frustrating at all.” You shrugged. Peter smiled at felt better about how long it took him to write the essay.

“Thanks.” He said. You had successfully gotten him to spend time with you one on one but now you needed to commence the next phase in your plan which was to hang out in a non school related setting.

“Would you ever want to hang out socially?” You blurted.

“Like, and not do homework?” He asked. You nodded your head and he smiled before nodding as well.

“Yeah. Sure. I’d love to.”

“Cool. Me too.” You smiled. You hadn’t meant to blurt it out like that but it worked nonetheless.

“Does this weekend work?” He asked you.

“Yeah. What do you want to do?”

Hard cut to that weekend. You were on the subway with Peter and he had his phone out to record himself.

“Firts social hang out with a girl. A film by Peter Parker.” He said in a low voice before flipping the camera to face you.

“Staring me.” You smiled and waved to the camera.

“Are you sure you’re cool with me filming this?” Peter asked as he flipped the camera back to himself.

“Yeah, of course. The other ones you showed me were so cute. But why did it seem like there were so many missing parts? You were always talking about something cool that I didn’t get to see.”

“Uhhh, no reason.” Peter said and looked to the side. He had skillfully edited out any incriminating superhero activity that you were not ready to see yet.

“Well I like it. I feel like I’m on Modern Family.” You said and posed for the camera.

“Which family member would you be?” Peter laughed and zoomed in on you. With his phone blocking his face, he could shamelessly admire your face on his screen.

“Duh. Lily.”

“I can so see that.” He chuckled. The subway lurched suddenly and you both grabbed onto the pole, coincidentally putting your hands in top of each others.

“Oh, sorry. Our hands touched.” You laughed shyly.

“Oh my God. So romantic.” Peter joked, making you blush and look into his camera.

“Stop it.” You laughed and covered his phone with your hand. He laughed as well and put his phone away.

After learn you had never been, Peter decided to the Lego Store. He’d been hyping it up to you all week over text and now that it was finally happening, he hoped it impressed you. You walked in together and Peter heard you gasp.

“Big Lego Aladdin.” You gasped and ran to stand under the giant magic carpet and Aladdin made of Legos.

“That’s the first time I’ve ever heard that string of words come out of someone’s mouth.” Peter laughed and went to stand under it with you. You looked over at him and were surprised to see he was already looking at you.

“This is even better than you described it. You need to show me everything.” You said and excitedly shook his arm.

“I can do that.” He blushed and nodded his head towards some of the sets.

Peter took out his phone to film you as you looked at everything in the store. The way you were looking around like a little kid brought a smile to Peter’s face. He zoomed in on you and caught himself staring at you fondly through the camera.

“Come on. I haven’t even showed you the coolest part yet.” Peter said and brought you over to the build your figure own station. He laughed when you gasped again and started to excitedly rummage through all the pieces. Peter didn’t bring his phone out again until you had built each other.

“Show me what you made.” He laughed from the other side of the phone.

“Looks! It’s a little Peter. He has a backpack and a beaker.” You said as you proudly showed the camera the little Peter figure you had made.

“This is Y/n. I can’t believe I found the shoes you always wear.” He said as he filmed the figure he had made of you.

“You notice my shoes?” You asked with a smile. Peter didn’t catch it because he was too busy fitting the hands of your Lego figures together.

“Look. They’re holding hands.” Peter gasped.

“Aw.” You laughed. “Us on the subway.”

“We should give them some privacy. They might not want us to hard launch their relationship.” Peter said and put his phone away.

“You’re so cute.” You laughed without thinking about it. Peter looked up at you with rosy cheeks and you gulped when you realized what you said.

“I mean-“

“Come on. I wanna take you somewhere else.” He cut you off before you could explain. He brought you to Delmar’s and ordered his usual for you to split. You sat together inside and you tried your best to remain calm. You always wondered what Peter got up to when he wasn’t at school and now you were in one of his favorite places and eating with him.

“Okay, this is Y/n’s first time eating at Delmars since he reopened. Let’s get her reaction.” Peter said as he filmed you unwrapping the sandwich.

“Wait, why is it so flat?” You laughed and held the sandwich up.

“Oh, sorry.” He chuckled. “I forgot to warn you that he always squishes it for me. But you’ll like it. Trust me. It’s much better when it’s squished down real flat.”

“Well I’m glad I now know you like your sandwiches to be squished. I would not have expected that about you.” You said and took a bite of your half before giving him a thumbs up.

“Yeah? You like it?” He asked hopefully.

“I do. Your squishy sandwich was surprisingly good.” You admitted.

“Well, I’m very pleased to hear that.” Peter smiled and phone away. “So to make it even, you have to show me one of your favorite places next time we hang out.”

“Oh.” You smiled coyly. “I didn’t realize there would be a next time.”

“There better be. I had a lot of fun with you today. How come we’ve never hung out before?”

“I don’t know. I always wanted to but you were busy running around with Ned or staring at…” You trailed off and chose not to mention Liz in case he was still hung up on her.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m just glad we’re friends now.” You said instead.

“Me too. I’ve never had a girl friend.”

“What was that?” You said and started choking on your saliva.

“All my friends in my life were guys. It’ll be nice to have a female influence in my life.”

“Oh. Girl friend.” You smiled tightly.

You hung out another hour before taking the subway back to your respective apartments. Peter walked to you the front doors of you building and you had an awkward moment where you didn’t know if you should hug or not.

“We uh, we should probably get an ending for your film.” You said with a timid smile.

“Oh, right. Thats a great idea.” Peter smiled and pulled out his phone. He pressed record and you waved to the camera with both hands.

“So, can you give our first time hanging out a rating?” He asked you.

“9/10.” You grinned and held up two thumbs.

“What? Why’d I only get a 9?” Peter scoffed and pretended to be offended.

“I had a 10/10 time but I have to deduct a point because we saw that guy cutting his hair on the subway and I was scared he was gonna throw the scissors at us.”

“Well I would’ve just protected you with my lightning fast reflexes.” Peter said simply. You smiled at him through the phone and he smiled back. He put the camera down and looked at you with a content smile on his face.

“Seriously, though. When’s the next time we’re hanging out?”

It ended up being just a few days later. And then again a few days after that.

“Peter’s first time!” You cheered as you filmed him during one of your hang outs.

“Trying boba.” He clarified. “I don’t understand this drink. Do I eat the balls?”

“Yes. Sip it slowly so they don’t all go down your throat.” You instructed. Peter took a big sip and immediately started choking.

“Peter! I said slowly!” You said as you slapped his back until he stopped choking. You quickly put the camera down to help him recover.

Your hangouts started getting more and more frequent and Peter soon considered you a best friend. Your weekends became each others and school days were often spent together in the library or at one of your apartments. You were quickly moving up the ranks in Peter’s life, just as you hoped. And the closer you got, the more Peter could not believe he had never noticed you before.

Little did you know, Peter often found himself watching the footage he had taken of you during your hang outs with a big smile on his face. He’d rewatch the videos he had taken and realize that they were slowly becoming less of a documentary and more of a highlight reel for you. He never imagined a girl as cool as you would for him so when he realized he was starting to fall for you, he quickly repressed his feelings. Little did he know, the feelings were mutual.

“Did you always make these little videos?” You asked Peter one day as he filmed you trying to balance on the curb of the sidewalk.

“I used too make them all the time but I hadn’t for awhile. I only started them again when we started hanging out.”

“Really? Why?” You wondered and stumbled off the curb.

“I don’t know. You remind me of the time before my life got crazy. It made me want to do these again.” He shrugged. You couldn’t help but smile at that information and turned around to look at him.

“So I could be the star?” You asked and posed for the camera.

“Exactly. You’re my muse.” He played along, making you laughed shyly. When he watched the video back later that night, he knew he had meant every word of that.

Peter sat in his bedroom one day and filmed himself wearing your glasses while you did homework at his desk. He looked over you every now and then just to admire the back of your head.

“Don’t break those.” You called without looking up. All you needed to hear was the sound of your glasses case opening to know what he was doing.

“I’m not even wearing your glasses.” He lied and admired himself in the camera.

“Yes you are.”

“No I’m not. But yes, I am.”

“Knew it.” You snorted.

“Hey, how come girls always smell so good?” Peter wondered. “Your hair hit me in the face when you turned too fast before it smelled like a baby in a damn meadow.”

“It’s just my womanly essence. Now can you stop looking at yourself long enough to help me with my chemistry homework?”

“It’ll be hard but I can try.” Peter dramatically sighed and set his phone down. You got yo from the desk and went over to the bed with a cheeky smile on your face.

“Incoming.” You announced and patted your elbow twice like a wrestler.

“No, don’t.” He pleaded. You ignored his pleas and jumped on top of him. He groaned and pushed you off, leaving you laying in the bed beside him.

“Ow. My ribs.”

“You’ll heal.” You rolled your eyes. “Now can you help me with number 7?”

“Oh, yeah. No problem. Can you check this email before I send it?” He asked and handed over his laptop. You handed him your worksheet before reading over his email draft.

“Oh, honey.” You grimaced just a few words into the email.

“Is it bad?”

“Good evening, Mrs. Howard. I hope this email finds you well. I’m so sorry for bothering you. I was just wondering if I could possibly have an extension on my midterm paper? No worries at all if an extension is not possible. I apologize for any inconvenience this email may have caused. Thank you for reading, Peter Parker.” You read out loud.

“What’s wrong with that?”

“After your name, you included the name of the class, the time you have it, and a description of yourself. She knows who you are!” You laughed and turned the laptop around to show him his mistakes.

“She may have forgotten.” He pointed out. “I can’t take any chances.”

“Peter, this email is way too submissive. You sound like such a bottom.”

“Well excuse me, genius.” He said sarcastically. “How would you write it?”

“Here.” You said and handed the laptop back after retyping his email.

“Oh, wow. That’s actually really good.” He said once he read your updated version.

“This is why we are such good friends. You have all the math and science knowledge in this little, beautiful head of yours-“

“Little?” He interrupted.

“You’re right. Sorry, I was just being nice. What I meant to say is that your head is huge.” You corrected. “Anyways, you have the math brain and I have the literary brain. It’s like you’re Einstein and I’m Victor Hugo.”

“Who the hell is that?” He laughed as he peaked at your mirror to see if his head was actually huge.

“The guy who wrote Les Mis.” You said like it was obvious.

“Never heard of it.”

“What? You’ve never seen Les Misérables?” You asked in a thick French accent.

“Huh?”

“We have to watch it. It’s so good.” You said and snatched his laptop back. You pulled up the movie and handed it back to him.

“Oh my God. It’s two hours and 38 minutes long? And a musical? Hell no.” Peter shook his head and pushed the laptop away.

“But it’s so good.” You urged. “We can just leave it on in the background while we work. It’s super light and easy to watch.”

“Really? What’s it about?”

“Oh, you know. Just war torn France.” You mumbled.

“No. Absolutely not.”

“But you’ll like it! There’s prostitution and con men and um…oh! And orphans! You can watch it and feel represented.” You said and shook his arm.

“I hate you.” He laughed but nearly gave in to your request just to see you happy.

“Fine.” You huffed. “I finished editing your midterm paper, by the way. You don’t actually have to send that email.”

“And here is your completed chemistry homework.” Peter smiled and handed your worksheet back.

“Aw.” You gushed. “Look at us. I love cheating with you.”

“So do I. We make a great pairing.” He chuckled as he looked over at you. You looked back at him and gulped. You hadn’t realized how close you were with your arms and legs pressed against each other as you sat together in your bed. Peter knew his sheets would smell like your perfume that night and smiled at the thought.

“Now that we’re all done with our work, you know what we should do?” He asked as he moved in closer.

“W-what should we do?” You stuttered now that he was right there.

“You know what I’ve been dying to do with you for a long, long time?” He asked.

“No. I mean, I don’t know. What?” You laughed nervously. Peter moved in even closer and right when you thought he was gonna kiss you, he reached over and grabbed his laptop back.

“I wanted to show you a real musical. Not this French miserable bull crap. Have you ever seen a little movie called Hair-“

“No. I’m not watching Hairspray with you again. You scream-sang every lyric last time and I couldn’t even hear it.” You cut him off and reached over home to take the laptop back. He pulled it away at the last second and you ended up on top of him. You looked into each others eyes and both froze in the positions you were in. Your faces were almost touching but neither of you tried to pull away. Your eyes were going back and forth between his lips and eyes and he was doing the same. Like magnets, you two started to lean towards each other but before your lips could connect, May opened the door.

“What did you guys want- oh! Sorry! I didn’t realize I would be interrupting something. My bad.” May smiled sheepishly and pretended to cover her eyes. Peter burned bright red as you quickly climbed off of him.

“May.” He said warningly.

“Sorry. But maybe lock the door next time. And use protection.”She whispered the last part before shutting the door.

“May!” He groaned and threw a pillow at the door. There was a long, awkward silence before you were even able to look at each other. When you finally did, you smiled awkwardly and kept your distance.

“That was so weird. What did she think we were doing?” You laughed nervously to break the silence.

“Psh. I know.” Peter scoffed. “She said she was interrupting but we weren’t even doing anything.”

“Yeah. What did she think? That we were gonna kiss or something?” You asked and laughed like it was the most ridiculous thing you could ever suggest.

“Us? Kissing? How silly. Imagine that.” Peter forced a laugh as well and looked to the side. The awkward silence returned and you struggled to look at each other.

“Do you think she made dinner?” Peter asked after a beat of silence.

“Let’s check.” You said and quickly got off the bed.

You didn’t discuss the almost kiss and went home shortly after. You couldn’t sleep that night because you couldn’t stop replaying the moment in your mind. No matter how much you wanted him to like you back, if Peter reciprocated your feelings, he would have kissed you.

Your pity party didn’t last long because on the subway the next day, you felt Peter put his earbud in your ear. You heard the Les Mis soundtrack playing in your ear and looked up in surprise. Peter was already filming you with a huge smile on his face.

“This guy 24601 should stop stealing bread and stick to singing. He has serious pipes.” Peter said.

“You listened to it?” You melted into a smile and held your hand over your heart.

“Yep. I stayed up all night watching lyric videos because I couldn’t understand what they were saying with their accents. It’s actually really good. I love Eponine. I just wish Marious wasn’t such an idiot. How does he not see that his best friend is clearly in love with him?” Peter asked with exasperation. You looked directly at the camera and hoped it picked up the irony before looking at Peter again.

“He’s not an idiot. He’s a romantic.” You sighed. “He doesn’t notice Eponine because he’s in love with Cosette. And course he is. She’s prettier and richer and has perfect hair. He doesn’t even see Eponine.”

“Good hair isn’t everything. Eponine is way better than Cosette.” Peter scoffed. “I’m team Eponine all the way.”

“Are you really?” You asked hopefully.

“Oh, for sure. I see why you like this stuff. These songs are awesome.” Peter said and put the other earbud in his ear. He then flipped the camera around to film the two of you sharing earbuds. As Heart Full Of Love played in your ears, you couldn’t help but longingly staring at Peter. The fact that he had stayed up late just to listen to something you suggested made you overcome with fondness for him. If he had done something like that, maybe he actually did feel the same.

“I forgot how good this album is. I haven’t listened in a while. I used to listen to it all the time back when you…” You stopped short when you realized you were about to say too much.

“When I what?” Peter wondered. You looked him in the eyes and decided that it was time to be honest. The song ended and a new, much louder one began to play in your ears.

“Back when you liked Liz. She was Cosette. I was Eponine. I was the one pining after a guy who never noticed me because he was in love with another girl. You were never mine to lose.” You admitted. Peter stared at you for a minute before pulling his earbud out.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear a word you just said. Master of the House is such a banger. What did you say?” He asked you.

“Never mind.” You smiled. “It wasn’t important.”

He smiled back before getting a text on his phone. You looked at his phone when you heard it buzz and realized he was still recording. In other words, he had just recorded you saying you liked him. Your eyes went wide but you only had a second to panic when you read the text he had gotten.

“Did Liz just text you?” You asked in a quiet voice. You felt like you were about to throw up. Years of crushing on a boy who liked another girl turned into months of pinning for your best friend and now turned into a rock in your stomach. Peter stopped recording the two of you to answer her text, which felt a little like a slap in the face.

“Oh, yeah. We’ve been talking lately.” He absentmindedly replied to you as he laughed at whatever she had written.

“You have?” You asked with a dry mouth.

“Yeah. She says Oregon is pretty cool. But she wants to come back and visit this summer to see everyone.” He told you.

“And see you?” You asked with a sad smile.

“I guess so.” He shrugged. “It would be nice to see her.”

“Yeah. Totally.” You said weakly. “So how long have you guys been talking?”

“I don’t know. A few weeks? She texted me a little while ago and we’ve been catching up.”

“That’s awesome.” You lied.

“I know. I didn’t think I’d ever hear from her again after she moved.”

“Neither did I.” You said through a forced smile. You needed to get off the subway and away from Peter before you started crying. So as soon as the subway doors opened, you bolted out.

“I gotta go. See you later.” You called to him before running through the subway station. You wiped tears as you went up the stairs and didn’t stop moving until you were in a bathroom stall at school. You gave yourself five minutes to be upset before drying your face and leaving the bathroom. It sucked, but it could have been worse. Now, Peter never had to know how you felt about it.

Peter was beyond confused by your exit on the subway but he wasn’t about to get any answers from you. You dodged his texts throughout the day and didn’t dare go into the lunchroom where you knew he and Ned would be.

“Y/n isn’t here yet?” Peter’s huffed as he sat down at your usual lunch table.

“Not yet. Actually, I haven’t seen your girlfriend all day.” Ned realized.

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Peter blushed. “And I’m pretty sure she’s avoiding me. She’s been so weird ever since this morning. Everything was fine on the subway until we got to school.”

“Well did anything happen on the subway that would weird her out? Oh no. Did you graze her boob with your hand again?”

“No. That was one time. And it was her boobs fault, not mine.” Peter whispered harshly. “We were just listening to music together and I was filming her like normal. But she could not get away from me faster once the doors opened. It was so weird.”

“Did you say anything weird to her? Girls don’t like it when you say weird things to them.”

“I know that. I didn’t say anything weird.” Peter replied as he pulled out his phone. He watched the video he had taken on the subway with no sound to see where he had gone wrong. All he saw was you looking at him with heart eyes which made his face heat up. But still, no evidence of where he messed up.

“I knew it. We were having a normal conversation about Les Mis and then I got a text from and then she ran. It makes no sense.”

“What was the text? Was it May saying something weird?”

“No. And stop saying weird. It doesn’t sound like a real word anymore.” Peter ordered. “And the text was just from Liz.”

“Oh shit.” Ned said when he heard this.

“What?” Peter wondered.

“Oh, Peter.” Ned sighed. “Peter, Peter, Peter.”

“What?” He asked again, annoyed now.

“Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter, Peter.”

“Are you gonna tell me what happened or just keep saying my name?”

“I can’t tell you. I’m sworn to secrecy. And I don’t want Y/n to put a hex on my family.” Ned said and held up his hands.

“Y/n swore you to secrecy? About what?”

“Can’t say.” Ned shrugged and zipped his lips.

“Does she not like Liz? And doesn’t want me to know?”

“Dude. Dude, dude, dude, dude. You are so close but so far.”

“So she does like Liz? Oh my God. Does she a crush on Liz? And she’s jealous that Liz texted me and not her?” Peter whispered with wide eyes.

“You’re getting colder.” Ned waved his hand. “I don’t even know how you got there.”

“That was all my guesses. Just tell me.” Peter whined.

“Hell no. I don’t want Y/n to curse my crops and make not grow for all of eternity.”

“You don’t have crops.” Peter pointed out.

“I could develop some.” Ned snapped.

“I just don’t understand what she would tell you something but not tell me. We’re best friends. She usually tells me everything.” Peter said right as his thumb accidentally hit the volume button on the video. Your confession to Peter on the subway was heard loud and clear by the two boys. Both of their jaws dropped as the video ended with you asked if Liz had just texted Peter.

“Well I wouldn’t have beaten around the bush like that if I knew you had video evidence of her saying she liked you right in your hands.” Ned sighed dramatically.

“I need to find her.” Peter said and ran out of the lunchroom. He looked around the school until he found you under the bleachers in the gym. You were sitting with your back against the wall and your knees drawn to your chest with your earbuds in your ears. When you saw Peter coming up to you, you quickly pulled them out.

“Hey.” He said and waved cautiously.

“Hey.” You smiled sadly as he sat beside you. You sat in silence for a minute as neither of you knew what to say.

“What’s going on with you? I haven’t seen you all day.” He started off. You looked at your hands to avoid making eye contact and sighed.

“Why didn’t you tell me you’ve been talking to Liz?” You asked quietly.

“I don’t know. I wasn’t hiding it. I just didn’t think it would interest you.”

“Well you have no idea how interesting I found it.” You laughed dryly. “What do you guys talk about anyway?”

“Well, she originally texted me to ask me to confirm I had an internship at Stark Industries because her boyfriend didn’t believe her when she told him she knew a guy who worked there. Apparently he’s been trying to get an internship there for years and he wanted to know how I landed mine. Then we just started catching up. I only talk to her here and there, though. And it’s only ever about school or work.”

“Oh. I thought you guys were talking talking.” You couldn’t help but smile a little when you heard the word “boyfriend.”

“No.” He shook his head. “Just regular talking. When you saw her text on my phone, she was telling me about her cat getting spaded. And I didn’t know what that meant so she had to tell me. I should’ve just googled it.”

You laughed softly at that and he did too. The tension was let out of the conversation and you could finally breathe again. When you stopped laughing, you finally looked in his eyes.

“Do you still have feelings for her?” You asked quietly.

“For her? No.” He laughed. “Those are long gone. I have feelings for someone else now.”

“Oh God. Don’t even tell me. I don’t want to know.” You groaned and buried your face in your hands. Peter looked at you for a minute until an idea came to him.

“Actually, uh, I came looking for you because I was just making another video. Wanna be in it?” Peter asked and took out his phone. You looked at him like he was crazy and could not believe he had just asked that during that moment.

“I’m not really in the mood right now, P.”

“Come on. I can’t make it without my muse.” He said and nudged you slightly. You couldn’t help but to smile at that and reluctantly nodded. He propped up his phone against the bleachers and pressed record.

“In a world where two best friends have no idea how to communicate despite spending way too much time together.” Peter said in a fake deep, gravely voice.

“Okay. Shade. That’s fine.”

“What will it take for them to admit they have feelings for each other?” He kept the voice as he looked at you.

“Wait, what?” You asked and looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. Peter smiled softly at you and shrugged a little.

“What’s it gonna take?” He asked again in his normal voice.

“I don’t understand.” You laughed nervously.

“I watched the video from before. From the subway. I heard what you said.” He admitted.

“Oh shit. You watched it?” You grimaced.

“Uh huh. So if you’re Eponine, I guess that makes me the idiot who didn’t realize his best friend was in love with him?”

“I guess so.” You said with a tight smile and still didn’t understand why he wanted to film this incredibly awkward conversation.

“You know, if I didn’t have a video of it, I never would have believed that you liked me.” Peter told you.

“You wouldn’t? Why not?”

“Because it doesn’t seem possible that the coolest girl I’ve ever met liked me.” He replied.

“You think I’m cool?” You asked skeptically.

“I think you’re the coolest. And you know, I watch the videos I take of you all the time. And half of them are just clips of you existing. So I do notice you. It just took me a second to catch up.” He told you. A smile tugged at your lips as you stared into his big brown eyes.

“You’re my best friend.” You told him. “I’m sorry I want more.”

“I’m not sorry.” He shrugged.

“You’re not?”

“I’m just sorry it took me so long to wake up and find that what I’ve been looking for has been here the whole time.” He said as he hooked his pinky under your chin and brought your face close to his.

“Wait, why does that sound so familiar?” You wondered.

“Don’t think about it too hard.” Peter whispered right before your lips touched. You kissed for the first time under the bleachers but it could have been in a palace for all you knew. The world disappeared around you as Peter slipped a hand behind your head to deepen the kiss. When you pulled away, you rested your foreheads together and laughed nervously together. It was a good nervous, a happy feeling of anticipation.

“Was that Taylor Swift?” You realized when you finally placed where you knew that like from.

“Shh. No.” He shook his head. “But yes, it was. You’re not the only one with good music taste.”

Tag List 🏷️

@thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling

@tom-hollands-wifey

@whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings

@imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101

@peterparkoure

@justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr

@emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland

@sovereignparker @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @eridanuswave​ ​

@solarxmoonchild @canyouevencauseicant

@quaksonhehe @lovelessdagger

@thesuitelifeofafangirl @marshxx @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie

@maybemona

@alexxcorona113 @lethal-wisdom

@pandaxnienke

 @officialsimppage @peterbenjiparker @itsemohours

@freakofmusic25 @tomholland85

@olixerwxxd @leilanixx

@whereismytelephone @so-very-asleep @white-wolf1940

@spideyspeaches @hihiweezing

@mathletemadison  

@dhtomholland @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @prancerrparkerr

@hallecarey1 @adayasgeorgia @blackwidowisthebest @imawhoreforu

@ciarahollands

@nellabellaa @pinklxmonade @boogywoogywoogy

[what-even-is-thiss]

Tips from a former English major and English TA:

Reading the text actually does help you in the class believe it or not and we can tell when you haven’t read it. Sometimes we’re just too tired to call you out on it. Your awkward silence in class speaks volumes.

That being said, if you don’t have time because life happens read at least two different summaries or analysis pages online. Preferably more. One source will rarely mention everything your teacher asks you about.

Other tricks include reading the last sentence of every paragraph or reading every other page

The reason you’re being forced to take an English class when you’re not an English major is to help you come up with arguments when there’s no strict data set to follow and no one correct answer. If your school allows for alternatives to this sort of category like film analysis or art history that you think you’d like better, take it. The goal of GE classes is to turn you into a well rounded and educated person. Not to torture you.

If you’re reading works in translation and don’t want to take the time to learn the language but you also want to get a more accurate idea of the nuances of the original language, read three different translations of the work and compare them. Reading translators notes and reviews of translations by experts is also helpful. In some more rarely translated works translators notes and reviews may be all you have to work off of.

When you’re writing a literary essay you’re entering an ongoing conversation that’s been going on since writing has existed. A tradition that’s existed since before Aristotle. And you’re just as smart as that guy. Add something to the conversation. Participate. Bigger idiots than you have done it.

Chat gbt is really bad at literary analysis and often gets facts wrong. We can tell when you use it.

Everyone has different levels of understanding of the history of literature even within the professional world. People specialize for a reason. Nobody is expecting you to have read everything. An expert in medieval Irish literature isn’t going to have read the same things as an expert in post-colonial west African literature who won’t have read the same things as a general expert in contemporary Asian literature. Being “well-read” is subjective and means something different to everyone. English classes often show you where to start and how to research stuff related to literature and analysis. Especially if you are an English major it’s easy to get overwhelmed early on but you get used to accepting that you can’t know everything. And that’s fine. Just focus on finding your niche. Or maybe you don’t have one and just want to sample everything. Or maybe you’re just here for general knowledge. That’s fine too.

[ellavatorz]

Kiss me Plenty || c.b. x reader

summary: you play the “I can’t stop kissing you,” prank on colby.

tags/cw: implied smut, kisses (lots of ‘em), tooth-rotting sweet fluff, established relationship, youtuber(s) relationship.

a/n: there isn’t much for me to say except that I have a very strong yearn for colby to be kissed 24/7. if that man isn’t being kissed at every second of the day like he deserves, then the world is a cruel joke of a place.

and a huge thank you to everyone who enjoyed my last work, you guys are so sweet T.T happy holidays!

- - -

You have the camera set up first thing in the morning. It’s hidden out of visible-sight and is focused on Colby’s usual spot; his desk, where he normally films intros to videos amongst other tasks in respect to his shared channel with Sam.

The plot of your video to be filmed today is explained to your audience. All while a grin is spread on your lips. “Today’s goal is to annoy the shit out of Colby by kissing the hell out of him. I don’t know how he’ll react considering he’s hyper-affectionate as it is… but its also normally something he does rather than me initiating it. So maybe he’ll suspect something right off the bat? Who knows!”

By the time Colby has migrated from your shared bed to his desk, you’re just outside the door, anxiously prepared for whatever may come of the situation. Without much of an extravagant entrance, you move toward where he is and stand behind him. His eyes are glued to the screen and you pretend to seem intrigued by whatever it is he’s looking at.

A yawn escapes his mouth as he reaches an arm behind himself, subconsciously searching for any part of you to grasp onto and reel in. “Good morning, baby.” He rasps, last night’s rest still grappling at his body.

“Morning,” you reply, allowing him to pull you closer. You take this as an advantage to wrap your arms around his shoulders from where you now stand beside him. “What are you working on today?”

Colby’s gaze is still caught on the screen when his own arm is snaked around your waist. His eyes flicker from one end to another, clearly focused on whatever he’s reading. “Just emails right now. I have a bit of review and editing tasks to get done on the apparel website too..”

“Ah, I see.” You sigh. Your eyes flash a mischievous glint toward the camera before you begin leaning into his space to plant a soft peck to his cheek. “Do you need anything? Water? Snacks?”

Still enraptured by work, he acknowledges your question half-heartedly. “No, love. Thank you though.”

You feign a frown at his response and begin swaying his chair left to right when the hold on your waist is replaced by the computer’s mouse. He scrolls through several pages, reading what he can manage to as you continue rocking his chair.

“What time do you think you’ll be done?” You question innocently, though you both are aware that his work is capable of enveloping the entirety of his day. He shrugs, too focused to respond. You take this as an opportunity to leave a kiss on the crown of his head, moving behind his chair to loosely circle your arms around his neck. “I think I’m gonna finish my Christmas shopping while you’re still here.”

He hums and it’s evident that he isn’t regarding your presence to the full extent that it’s normally at. You huff and lean over his shoulder to litter butterfly-light kisses along the side of his neck. He unconsciously cranes his neck, providing you with more access to the skin.

“Shouldn’t you come and eat breakfast first? You haven’t eaten anything.” You ponder aloud, and this time, he shakes his head.

“I’m fine, babe.“ he mutters, eyes squinting in the analysis of his emails. Your tongue comes out to swipe at your lips, wetting them before leaning further into his space and kissing him straight on the mouth. At this, he cocks his head to the side, granting you access for more.

You continue to press into him, feeling accomplished when you realize that now he’s fully focused on you. The kiss is languid and feels good enough to praise, but before you can fully enjoy it, Colby is pulling away with a pitiful smile. You don’t even have to question him because he’s apologizing in an instant.

“I’m sorry, petal. I really have to get these things done. I promise as soon as I get this out of the way, I’m all yours.” He says and you can’t help but feel a tug at your heart. God, he really is the cutest. With the way his eyes glimmer at you, you’re confident with the idea that this man could un-alive your childhood pet and get away with it by just looking at you with those damned ocean eyes.

“Just a minute more?” shaking off the thought of ending the video early out of awe for your boyfriend, you continue your antics. You plead instead, batting your lashes tauntingly while returning to his side.

He blinks owlishly at you and ultimately accepts, pulling you into his lap by the hips and allowing you to straddle him comfortably. You grin, wasting no time and diving straight in for a passionate kiss. His hands snake around you to land on your ass, giving a gentle squeeze to which you groan into his lips for.

For a second, you’re convinced that this moment would last for an eternity with the pace that he’s taking. Theres not a doubt that he’d absolutely waste an entire day just to kiss you, and in this case you want this to be one of those days. His kiss is smooth, gentle, yet fierce and meaningful. Your hands move on their own accord; one pressing into the broad of his chest and the other entangling into his hair.

There’s a moan serenading your ears after a few rough tugs to the strands on his head. However, before you know it, he’s giving you one last playful tug to your lip and placing a good space between the two of you. While you’re grateful for this moment to breathe, you also fall clueless as to why the hell he stopped.. until, of course, you remember that you’re filming a video, and he’s working. Hello!

“Do you know how distracting you can be?” Colby chuckles, and you take a few seconds to take in his appearance; hair tussled, eyes dark and dilated, lips swollen with a few teeth indentations caused due to your own accord. You almost want to spend the rest of the video admiring your work, but conclude that the show must go on.

“What ever do you mean, coleslaw?” You quip, pushing against his hands from where they’ve been placed on your shoulders to distance you from him.

He immediately motions for you to get off of him, his hands already shoving at your chest. “Coleslaw? You’re done. Get off of me.”

You laugh and reluctantly remove yourself from his lap only to make an attempt at lifting him up with you. As if knowing exactly what you’re about to do, he drops his weight into his chair. You grunt, tugging on his arms with all your might. He doesn’t budge.

“Baby,” you whine, and add a childish stomp for emphasis. “Can’t you just take today off to spend time with me? Please?”

He falls limp at your words, tossing his head back against the chair’s headrest and huffs in thought. “We already hung out yesterday. The entire day! What do you want to do anyway?”

Pouting, you take advantage of his loose posture to throne his lap once more. Again, circling his neck with your arms and trying to pull him impossibly closer. Though, he does his best to keep a stoic expression and an emotional stiffness to prevent persuasion.

“I miss you,” the words seemingly fall on deaf ears as he remains unfazed, eyes wandering around the room; in other words, anywhere but you. “..just wanted to kiss you today.. but i guess you don’t want my kisses. guess I’ll just find someone else who does—“

His sigh mimics one of defeat. His hold on your tightens in protectiveness, as if afraid you may be taken from him. You begin to feel that bubble of mischief rising to your cheeks, tugging your lips into a smile. Yes! It’s working!

“One more kiss, and i seriously have to get back to work, okay?” He gambles, and suddenly your smile is fading into a frown. He directs his stare back to you, a small quirk at the corner of his mouth. “What, isn’t that what you want? Take it or leave it, baby.”

You bare your teeth in grimace, eyes twinkling with competitiveness before you dive in. Planting your lips on his, you nip and lap at the opening he gives you. Without much hesitance, he’s reciprocating in eagerness. Your tongues dance in the heat of the moment, teeth clashing with force. It’s clear how much you two want each other. And it’s even more evident just how far you’re willing to go for it.

“God, what’s gotten into you?” He manages to slur through the daze you’ve entrapped him in. The intimacy in the kiss exceeds even deeper when you apply pressure against his crotch, gaining a desperate reaction in return. He whimpers against your lips, bringing you impossibly closer to his form as he ruts against you.

“just.. really.. want.. you.” Your voice tapers off into a moan with each breath you take in between. And that’s when you realize. Oh shit. he’s hard.

A probing feeling at your clothed entrance is all it takes for you to pull back and freeze, hands instantly darting for the camera from where it was hidden just a few minutes ago. You focus the rest of the footage toward you, regarding your boyfriend’s lustful daze as a sign to come clean. Placing one hand on his cheek while the other holds the camera, you give a breathy and worried giggle.

“Are you—“ you start, motioning toward the evident tent in his sweats. His eyes waver from your face for a mere second to assess the situation before returning to you. “Colby?”

“Is this is a prank?” He mumbles, cocking his head toward the camera in your hand. You nod, curtaining your smile by placing a palm over your mouth. “Oh,”

“Colby, It’s a prank. I didn’t expect it to go this far!” You admit, and suddenly the giddiness you had been shielding from escaping you throughout the video is released. You laugh in embarrassment. “Oh my gosh. Guys, if you saw anything…. No you didn’t. Haha! But seriously, my poor baby suffered today so if you enjoyed the video, be sure to like and subscribe. Until next time, bye!”

The moment the video comes to an end, Colby is cursing you up and down for the scheme you had hidden from him. However, his scolding shortly concludes with a soft, and admittedly disappointing, “—had me all excited..”

“Oh my poor baby,” you coo, both of you now free from an audience’s presence via camera. Holding his face in your hands, you apply pressure to his cheeks, forcing his lips to pucker when you go in for a gentle kiss. “‘M sorry. The fans really wanted to see what you’d do.”

“Well now they know, so can we please not do that again. you’re very irresistible and convincing you know that?”

You press a gentle peck to his cheek and huff. “Yeah I’ve heard it a few times from my boyfriend.”

“Wow. I feel bad for your boyfriend.” Colby jokes playfully.

“Do you? Hm. Guess I should be a little nicer to him.”

“Maybe.” He pouts his lips toward you, proceeding to lift you from where the two of you sit on his office chair. Your legs wrap around his middle as he travels toward your shared bed. “I think your boyfriend deserves it.”

“I think so too,” you smile. Continuing from where you had left off, you both spend the rest of the morning doing exactly as you begged for; spending the day together. And making out, of course. And maybe a little more than that.

[dannyfandomphd]

Moral purity and imaginative resistance as influencing factors in fandom 'anti' attitudes

Jessica Black et al.'s 2019 experiment on the correlation between enjoying dark/villainous characters, personal morality and purity beliefs, and imaginative resistance is so interesting when applying it to anti culture and fandom.

They created a Dark Character Scale where participants self-selected how strongly in agreement or disagreement they were with a series of statements about dark or villainous fictional characters. Some of these questions were the following:

"I enjoy films and books that feature main characters that choose morally questionable actions."

"I can often understand where the bad guys in fiction are coming from."

"My favourite fictional characters are morally ambiguous and often do horrible things."

They then utilised the Moral Foundations Questionnaire (Graham et al. 2011) to see what participants considered important when deciding on whether something is morally right or wrong, for example:

Whether or not someone suffers emotionally

Whether or not someone did something disgusting*

Whether or not someone was cruel

Whether or not someone was denied [their] rights

Whether or not someone acted in a way God would approve of*

as well as how strongly participants agreed or disagreed with statements such as:

Compassion for those who are suffering is the most crucial virtue

People should not do things that are disgusting, even if no one is harmed*

It can never be right to kill a human being

I would call some acts wrong on the grounds that they are unnatural*

Respect for authority is something all children need to learn.

One of the final scales participants used was the Black & Barnes (2017) Imaginative Resistance Scale. This is basically used to gauge how resistant the reader is to enjoying or consuming fictional content that contains characters, situations, or worldbuilding that they personally find morally disagreeable. They had to select how strongly they agreed/disagreed with questions like:

Reading books where bad things are depicted as morally acceptable makes me feel dirty

I just can't go along with a story when it violates my beliefs about morality

At times it feels like the author of a book is asking me to endorse actions that I know are wrong

Some things just shouldn't be done, even within a book

I sometimes cannot go along with a story when the "good" characters do morally reprehensible things

Sympathising with immoral characters makes me feel immoral myself.

Unsurprisingly, analysis of the data revealed that there was a strong correlation between disliking or not enjoying dark fictional characters or villains and having a higher purity morality score and more imaginative resistance.

They performed this test in three studies done on three completely different demographics - the first being mostly liberal women from social media sites, the second being mostly younger conservative college undergrads, and the third being adults split 50/50 in gender recruited from MTurk. All three studies showed that having stronger imaginative resistance and higher purity morality scores is directly linked to a lower score on the DCS - meaning that they would like or enjoy dark fictional characters and their actions less.

This tracks pretty well with what can be seen in the emerging anti culture within fandom:

Self-identified 'antis' are likely to agree strongly with the statements from the Imaginative Resistance Scale, and are more likely to score highly on the questions in Moral Foundations Questionnaire that are specifically demarcated as being concerned with purity (marked above with an asterisk *). This means that they are also, according to these studies, much more likely to disagree with dark fictional characters and their actions.

There is also a very interesting point in one of the discussions areas where Black et al. state "It is worth reiterating that the participants in Study 2 tended to be more conservative, and therefore potentially more likely to have greater concerns about moral purity" which tracks with what people in fandom have been saying about antis parroting conservative/puritan talking points and arguments.

What I find the most interesting is the following statement:

"However, moral purity and imaginative resistance are consistently positively correlated, both in the current studies and in prior research ... and are both likely to reflect a fear of moral contagion that would discourage people from identifying with and liking [dark fictional characters]."

This, when applied to antis, suggests that antis may harbor the subconscious belief that enjoying dark fictional content, and therefore being a 'proshipper', is literally psychically contagious. They may view this as some kind of moral disease which is spreading and infecting fandom, which could explain why they are so vehemently against it - fear. This is the puritan Moral Panic all over again.

Black et al. also discuss theories of fictional engagement and parasocial relationships/identification, and whether these studies is relevant to "when and for whom fictional engagement could have the potential to negatively affect real world attitudes or behaviour".

Jessica Black and Jennifer Barnes often publish articles together and have some incredibly interesting reading of morality and fiction that I'd be interested to see applied to fandom and anti culture in an academic setting. Perhaps some people in the field like Samantha Aburime (@rainystudios) are already looking into it - and I'm hoping I can do the same in my studies.

[tbhimnoteasyonmyself]

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH PHEE?

(and other equally puzzling things)

An EXTREMELY EXTENSIVE Post-Episode 10 Analysis/Theory

So, okay. Episode 10 was A LOT. Like... A LOT, A LOT. And a lot of this lot seems... Weird as fuck. So many odd choices were made in the narrative.

Top's drugged manipulation; White pulling info about shrooms out of his ass; Fluke becoming a victim of involuntary drug abuse ghosts of his past and begging for mercy after "all he did to Non"... But nothing beats Phee's OOC moments in ep.10 while he's alone with Jin.

Which is what compels me to make this post. Because this series has been nothing but the richness of detail and now suddenly... It's all over the place? Call it wishful thinking (or Last Twilight trauma) but I don't think so. And it mostly comes down to: Phee. And whatever his "agenda" is.

PS: All screenshots of the show I use (and I will use a lot) will have been brightened because this show is FUCKING DARK, BOYYYYYY and I don't think y'all deserve to force your sight at 3AM to enjoy my posts.

WHAT HAPPENS AND WHY IT'S SUSPICIOUS

So? What does Phee say and do when he's alone with Jin in ep.10 and why am I suspicious of it?

It's hard to say for sure. But we can base ourselves off of 3 things: what we hear him say, what Jin replies to him and the flashbacks (no, they're not just there to fill in time for this very short episode, they serve a narrative purpose).

So let's do this analysis following the order in which things are shown to us, shall we?

First of all, we get a short flashback. The events are as follows:

Phee and New go to see the gang's film

New approaches Phee and they talk

New and Phee decide to try and figure out what happened to Non by infiltrating the group

New and Phee join the gang's school and start asking question

Jin decides to leave Thailand

New suggests going to Por's mansion for the goodbye party

Phee questions New in the lab about his decisions

New suggests using their homemade drug on the group as a truth serum

Phee asks if the drug is deadly and New denies it

Although we don't hear Phee tell this to Jin, Jin does reply very angrily something along the lines of "and you just let him carry on with it? why didn't you stop him? what the fuck is wrong with y'all???", so we can assume we've been shown what Phee told him.

So far, it's very unsuspicious. We've been shown these events before in the actual flashbacks so we can be fairly sure all of that is true.

It starts to get suspicious, however, when Phee replies to him: "There's so much more that you don't understand. About Non, and Tan".

And I think Jin feels the vibe too because, the man standing on his tall pillar of morality and righteousness /s, says he'll give Phee another chance to cut the bullshit and tell him everything. And so Phee sighs and the dreaded narration of ✨New's Murderous Adventures✨ starts.

So Phee tells Jin (and consequently us) that:

Phee and New set up a bunch of cameras to spy on the gang

New drugged the drinks

It was supposed to end when everyone was high at the party but New didn't follow the plan

New deleted the camera files

Phee kept drugging the group

Por's injury wasn't an accident but a trap that he thinks New set

New's drug enhances people's inner fears

Phee "never thought New would be so cruel with Uncle Dang"

New drugged Top at the temple

New must've left the hard disk for White to find

By the time he figured New's plan, there was nothing he could do about it (and we see him looking distressed at New's arrival at the house)

Now, here we have some interesting things. Let me list them for you.

Why would Phee keep drugging the group after Por got hurt?? If, as he claims, he didn't mean for people to get hurt, why would he keep people on drugs while a man is dying on the couch? Especially when the guy you're on a revenge mission with is ELIMINATING THE CONTENT OF THE CAMERA RECORDINGS!! That sure isn't gonna help anyone survive!

How does Phee know about Top??? He and Jin never saw Top arrive at the house. For all they know, that bro is lost in the woods. Right??

HOW THE FUCK DOES HE KNOW WHITE GOT THE HARD DRIVE??? There's no signal in the woods. We've established that. When White tells Tee and New about his actions they're ALONE. The only other person there is LITERALLY THE MASKY (I'm calling the masked person that for convenience, it's shorter. besides, it seems the fandom has been calling them that anyways, so... yeah). So how does he know? How does he know???

And in that same fucking sequence: THE MASKY TRIES TO HURT NEW!!! Bu if New told Top to hurt everyone who hurt Non, why would he hurt him??? And why, my friends, WHY would he SAVE TEE, when he's the only witness of those events??? It would be so easy to just say the masky killed Tee and he couldn't save him... Is it 4D chess??? Is it a different masky??? Or, is it simply not true that New did that?

It's very confusing, weird and suspicious. But let's wait it out, guys, because there's more to PheeJin in the temple.

After this odd-ass narration, they're back to having a convo. Which goes as follows:

Jin (very validly) asks Phee what the fuck is wrong with him and New

Phee says he'd never allow them to go if he knew New was going for murder instead of just confessions ("you can hate me if you want but I never wanted anyone to get hurt, I swear" or whatever he said)

Jin asks if Tan is New and Phee is Non's boyfriend

Phee confirms Jin's suspicions and even adds that "p'New came back from England"

Jin asks if they ever saw the group as their friends

Phee says they wanted to infiltrate the group to find the truth because they didn't know shit about what happened to Non and it's haunting them (good choice of words there, very subtle /s)

Phee explains his motivation, stating he told Non to "get lost and die"

Jin confesses to recording the child grooming revenge porn tape and posting it on Twitter (-_-)

Jin explains his motivation, saying he respected Non's relationship (by constantly making moves on him?) but couldn't stand him cheating on Phee (so he one-upped him by committing not one but two actual severe crimes?)

Phee appears to be mad and disgusted so he says "Fuck. So we both were the ones who hurt Non?", gets up and starts pacing (oh no! the big boy is angy~~~ /s)

Jin gets up like a sad wet cat

Phee randomly finds an axe and takes some exposition out of his ass by stating "this must be Tan's axe that he keeps as a spare. But it's good"

Phee breaks the gate

So by this point Phee's whole speech sounds a bit insane, considering the type of person we've seen he is. Not to mention he just INSTANTLY calms down upon finding an axe and just decides to move on. Like ??? Excuse me??? If that ain't weird then idk what is. Like, sure, Phee is a very confusing and confused character (as better explored by @crysta1ized in this post). He seems to have his heart divided between many things and they could all be pulling at his strings there. HOWEVER, we have to remember Phee's also THIS guy:

Does this look like the kind of person who would just move on after a (perceived) treason? Does he??

And, the thing about this is that it gets worse.

After the scene cuts back from the house, Pheejin are lost in the damn woods (parallels to New and Tee? mayhaps, man, mayhaps...) These are the events there:

Phee is back to supporting Jin's weight with his body while they walk (which makes no fucking sense bc Jin hurt his SHOULDER which is a part of his UPPER BODY so there's no reason why he couldn't walk on his own but okay, sure)

They make no progress walking for a while, even despite trying to mark the places they've already been at

Jin is very upset that Phee's not very good at navigating through unknown forests at night

Phee, however, is very understanding and says: "Jin. I told you that I would be the one who would protect you. So I'll get you out of here" then PROCEEDS TO HOLD HANDS with him and continues with: "Right now, our friends are waiting for us to help them. So, you must stay strong. Believe in me"

Jin nods (because, despite trying to play the apathetic bitch, he's a softie and very much has feelings™)

PheeJin finally find the exit of the fucking forest

DO Y'ALL SEE HOW SOMETHING'S VERY WRONG WITH PHEE HERE??? Bro's not just acting weird (that would be fine, we love weirdos. *looks at New and winks* <3), he's abnormal. He's not acting like himself.

So, before I jump into trying to make some sense out of all of this, I'll just add the last scene of PheeJin alone in ep.10, last anyone come tell me I missed it:

They're arriving at the mansion

Jin falls down

Phee abandons the axe to help him

I don't think this one is particularly relevant to analyse Phee's character in this episode (although the axe is certainly relevant for other plots and our dear 9th person) but it's there. After this, they're back in the house with everyone and Por's rotting corpse.

PHEE IS HIDING THINGS

So what the fuck happened, really? Well, a lot. Some are easier, I think, to interpret, some aren't but regardless, there was a lot going on with Phee. To make this very complex thing a bit easier to understand, I'll start from the things I think are a bit easier to explain and/or are more solid and then I'll move from there towards the rest of this mess. Okay? Ok- (gets shot bc I hate John Green).

One thing for me that's nearly set in stone is that Phee, at the very least, isn't telling Jin everything. If he was, then the flashbacks would've started with PheeNon's falling love montage but they don't. They start at the cinema. Plus, Jin has to ask if Phee is Non's boyfriend and Tan is New, like he's piecing things by himself. If Phee had told him that, he wouldn't need to ask. AND Phee would've have referred to New as New during his whole monologue but he did not. He kept saying "Tan". He only started doing so after Jin asked the question and he confirmed Tan was New.

Curiously enough, he also never mentions the antidote he knows exists and KNOWS New brought along. And that neither of them ever used on the others.

The million-dollar question here is then, naturally: why? Various reasons, I believe.

1st of all I think we have to account for the feels. Phee is definitely in a weird ass zone with Jin but it's something. And he feels that something (whatever it is. believe me I could make an entire post about that shit, it's so fucking complex, man, and it only gets worse this episode). He likes Jin, even if he tries not to or if he dislikes that he likes him. It's undeniable. So yes, of course, he doesn't want Jin to hate his guts more than necessary.

But also... We cannot forget why Phee himself is there: to find out what happened to Non. And what does he get out of the conversation he has with Jin? That's right. A confession.

Now, I don't think it's the confession he expected if his reactions are anything to go by:

I mean... If this is not the face of a man thinking "well, shit", then idk what it is. And also because, idk if it's a subtitle error or not, but he seems to ask "what did you three do?" when he's inquiring about the events of the past, so...

Someone is being excluded.

Still, I think it's super possible he was hoping to get something out of it. After all, even if he assumes Jin is innocent in his actions, I don't think he's excluding him from having knowledge of what went down. That would make his positive bias even sillier.

So yeah, sure, I bet Phee feels genuinely guilty and it hurts him to be in the situation he's in and he definitely wants to be in a good place in terms of his relationship with Jin, especially because, as he said, he doesn't know if they can get out of the temple. But also... As Ta (Phee's actor) himself said in an interview: Phee can be really manipulative (I can't find the damn interview rn but, during my search, I found @raelle-writing had also mentioned it in this post, so I think it's enough to say I didn't dream that shit). You know... 2 things can be true at once.

Which brings me to the next part:

PHEE IS LYING

That whole talk of "I never thought he would hurt you", "if I had known I wouldn't have let you come", blah, blah, blah. That's some major BULLSHIT.

Phee knew exactly what New was capable of. At least, on a subconscious level. After all, if my friends started being murdered, my 1st assumption would not be that my best friend did it. Unless, of course, my best friend was spiralling down to madness, constantly using drugs to see his dead brother and answering shit like this:

With a smirk on, when I ask him if the absynthe is gonna kill our friends. Because yeah, sure, I guess the green won't kill them. But you can't tell me this motherfucker wouldn't. He definitely would. And if we can infer that, so does Phee, who has been living with him as his close friend for the last 3 years.

In fact, the very fact that he feels the need to ask whether or not the drugs will kill the gang is proof enough that he, to some extent and, whether or not he's aware of it, KNOWS that's, at least, a possibility. Knows that's something New would do.

So yeah, he's perhaps not just lying to Jin (but also to himself) or not intentionally lying, but he's lying nevertheless. Phee knew this was a possibility. He knew New was capable of stuff like that. And when he pieces the story together, that's him admitting, even if no one realizes, that he knew it. And that he let it happen, in fact, because he never tried to stop the drugging. Or talked to New about what was going on (you'd think if he had that he would've told Jin in that situation). His biggest weapon is his knowledge and he chose not to swing the sword sooner. How very Fluke of him, isn't it? Especially because now 2 people are dead and that's on New, right? Right???

Not necessarily.

NEW IS NOT A MURDERER (initially)

You see, for all we see New is fine with death and murder in episodes 9 and 10, he makes it clear his nº1 goal is to figure out what happened to Non when he gets in front of a fucking firearm to harass Tee into talking.

So why would he talk Top into murder? Why would Top attack him?? Why would he kill Uncle Dang?? And why, on the goddamn Earth, would he eliminate the recordings in the house when his whole motivation is

(Thank you, hallucination Non <3) to expose them??? Especially when the only other person who knew about the hidden cameras was Phee. It makes no sense! Sure, he might've contemplated the murder, but on a later phase of the plan, I think. The priority was, always, to get them to confess on camera so he could later use the recordings to expose them to the country and clear Non's image. 'Cause we cannot forget, while the people close to Non don't buy the bullshit TV news sensationalist story (and, therefore, are searching for the truth), the rest of the country thinks Non is a slut who ran away with mafia money and his teacher (because, like @delululover explains in this post: Asian culture tends to normalize grooming of older teens and even blame them for the situation).

So what are we seeing when Phee narrates the events? Well, probably just Phee's guesses.

He thinks New is deranged and has drugs and that Top is missing and now they're being attacked by this person, who is conveniently wearing a mask. So he guesses that's Top. Plus, he doesn't know New was attacked by Masky in the middle of the forest.

He knows, like everyone else, that New had the hard drive. And, when Top and New go out in the woods with the bike he remains in the house. So, it's possible he saw the hard drive there where New left it before he went out.

And, because the only 2 people remaining in the house, as far as Phee knows, are Fluke and White, and New DEFINITELY wouldn't want the drive to get into Fluke's hands, he must've assumed New wanted White to find it (which may or may not be true but it's irrelevant, I think).

And, yes, calm down, I can hear you scream: "But how did he know White watched the video???" And the answer I bring you is very simple: he didn't. He has no idea. And the best part is: you only think he knows because you know. But Phee never says that. He says New left the hard drive there for White to find. And that's it. He never mentions a video whatsoever.

Now, is it convoluted? Yes. Absolutely. But we have to think this is Phee we're talking about. He's the guy who always thinks he has the upper hand (a.k.a thinking he can save Non or that he's not falling in Love with Jin). It's almost impossible for him to think he's in the dark as to what is happening to them. After all, in his narrative of his life, he is the hero. And, I know, lots of people in the fandom see it that way as well, so... It's not impossible to imagine that's what the story is trying to sell us. It's trying to make us believe Phee knows. When in reality, I think, it's more likely that Phee's the embodiment of this meme:

Okay. But then if New didn't do it, then who did? Because something is obviously going on with Top, right? And Uncle Dang IS very much dead. So what the fuck is that all about?

THE SECRET 9TH PERSON? ENTITY? THING?

As discussed several times by several people in this fandom, there's a very high possibility that there's someone else with them in the woods.

@blmpff points out the existence of various versions of the mask here. @subtextsays points out the crutches in the bathroom scene with Top here. There's this shit:

Whatever it fucking means (besides the fact that it gives me the hibbie jibbies). Someone is also obviously taking care of the Janta cult because there's fresh food in the offerings.

@raelle-writing also points out here that New is also seeing stuff even though our favourite insane motherfucker has got (and has been using!) the antidote.

And, as of episode 10, as @babyangelsky pointed out in this post, when PheeJin are lost in the damn woods, the cuts on the wood Phee supposedly make keep changing.

Which makes both of us question if they're all the same cut or even all done by Phee.

So, I think this is enough to speculate Phee could very much just be misinterpreting the whole thing and attributing guilt to New when, in fact, someone else has been causing the deaths.

Now you may question who and that's all very fair. You should even. But that is not what this post is about and, frankly, thank god, because this is already a monstrous creation.

So let's pick these cuts in the wood and use it as a segway to the last part of this, shall we?

PHEE IS AS BENEVOLENT AS A GREEK GOD

So Phee's mad. Super mad. He's passing around and cursing.

Jin, the only person he probably genuinely thought didn't do anything, is the one who recorded and posted the video.

And then Phee finds an axe. And, suddenly, Phee changes. Why?

Well, we have to look at it with what urges Phee to talk in the first place (besides his feelings and his wants): Phee is losing hope. He states it himself that he doesn't think they're going to be able to get out of the temple. So, he talks. Sure, he doesn't say everything but it's the closest to being honest with Jin we've ever seen him be.

And then their whole reality changes. Because Phee found an axe. And it all comes down on him: they are going to get out of there. And what now?

As @yellingaboutkp states in this post Phee is not only hard to read for us or confusing to the other characters (Jin mainly). He's also hard to read and confusing to himself: "...is Phee still playing Jin? It seems like he's trying to, but the more time he spends with Jin, the harder it's getting to stick to the plan."

Thus, what we see at the end of their time in the temple and alone in the woods is a mix of things, I believe.

Phee needs to feel like he's in control again. And with the original plan being ruined and Jin knowing too much (and there's no way he's not gonna speak, in fact, it's the very first thing he does when they arrive at he house) he's simply not. So when he tells Jin everything is gonna be alright, he's also trying to tell that to himself. He's trying to reassure himself that they're gonna get out of that huge mess. And, perhaps, in saving Jin also finding some redemption because, according to his own narration of the events, he let New go too far (as Jin points out).

Phee also knows more now. And maybe, if he was able to get Jin to speak once, without even having to force anything out of him. who knows if he cannot do it a second time in front of the cameras they've set inside the house? So he's trying to follow the script and manipulate him into trusting him, like he always has been trying to do. Except this time he's more bitter about it. And this, alongside with reason 1, is why these two scenes feel so different:

And lastly: Phee knows the catastrophic effects his words and actions had on Non when they broke up. He knows the consequences of his rage. It's the entire reason why he's there. Because he failed at being a good boyfriend the 1st time. Does he really want that to happen again? Does he want to fail Jin too? There's a reason (besides the story itself and his need to justify himself to Jin) why we see that flashback of his break-up with Non in this episode. And I believe this is it. (so yeah, I understand it might be frustrating to see Phee be more benevolent to Jin who fucked up big time than Non who didn't do anything, it is EXACTLY because he wasn't benevolent to Non that Jin is getting princess treatment)

So, in conclusion: Phee is fucking confused. And it carries on being that way for the rest of the episode. Phee calls New out but he doesn't seem to care too much about Por being dead on the couch. He helps Jin on the ground, but he doesn't say a thing about Fluke pointing a gun at Tee. Sure, he does ask for the gun at a certain point but isn't that just more of Phee's desperate need to get control back?

And we see this all come down to the preview of the next episode and what it's probably going to mean:

Phee finally has got things under his control again. But this means, surprise, surprise, that Phee's gotta make a choice: to shoot (and stand on New's side) or not to shoot (and stand on the gang's side). Which, of course, metaphorically is a choice, in good romance and BL fashion, between 2 lovers: Non and Jin. But also, in good storytelling, as, once again, @raelle-writing (can't help myself, Rae's posts are FIRE 🔥🔥 sksksksksks) explores better in this post: a choice between the past and the present; continuing to drown in grief and a wish for revenge or choosing to move on and heal.

And, as I (YES, if I'm gonna tag a bunch of people and their works, YOU BET, I'm gonna link my own stuff) explore in this post about White's identity and role in the story (and other people in the fandom have commented as well), I'm inclined to believe he's gonna pick the gang, Jin, the present, healing. Because this is a story about the damage caused by cycles of violence and grief. And a story about how, the only way to stop them, is to choose not to participate in them by letting go.

(and also because we already have characters who represent different choices like Non, who was always stuck in the future because he kept getting deeper and deeper into shit, thinking tomorrow would be better; or New, who is very obviously stuck in the past, unable to let go of the things he didn't do, the things he didn't prevent and only ends up losing more and more as a consequence)

CONCLUSION

Thank you for your time and attention. Feel free to comment and discuss this with me. And I'll see you either on my next long-ass monologue or next Saturday as we watch episode 11!

All the love 💜💜💜

PS: Shout-out to the group chat, including, but not limited to: @ayansbff, @cyberstalking and @squishysquadstuff who have listened to me ranting about this post since Saturday and told me to eat when I was too focused on writing it. Your patience was fundamental in carrying me through this monstrous project (it took me 10 hours to write all this) 💜💜💜.

[gardenschedule]

Quotes about John Lennon’s sexuality

This is just a reference post for convenience, not an analysis (but I’ve added some comments here and there). This is extremely long with a lot of quotes! And where there's smoke there's fire, imo.

John's (internalized) homophobia: Starting with this topic to provide context & contrast to the rest of this post

At the party the boys’ old friend Bob Wooler, the Cavern emcee, made a crack to John about his holiday. John, who’d had plenty to drink, exploded. He leapt on Bob, and by the time he was dragged off Bob had a black eye and badly bruised ribs. I took John home as fast as I could, and Brian drove Bob to the hospital.

I was appalled that John had lashed out again. I’d thought those days were over. But John was still livid, muttering that Bob had called him a queer.

Cynthia Lennon, John

[Bob Wooler had] insinuated that me and Brian had had an affair in Spain. I was out of me mind with drink. You know, when you get down to the point where you want to drink out of all the empty glasses, that drunk. And he was saying, ‘Come on, John, tell me’ – something like that – ‘Tell me about you and Brian, we all know.’ And obviously I must have been frightened of the fag in me to get so angry. You know, when you’re twenty-one, you want to be a man, and all that. If somebody said it now, I wouldn’t give a shit.

John Lennon, John Lennon: For The Record, Peter McCabe and Robert D Schonfeld

“The Beatles’ first national coverage was me beating up Bob Wooler at Paul’s 21st party because he intimated I was homosexual. I must have had a fear that maybe I was homosexual to attack him like that and it’s very complicated reasoning. But I was very drunk and I hit him and I could have really killed somebody then. And that scared me… That was in the Daily Mirror, it was the back page…”

John Lennon, talking about a (one sided) fight he had with Cavern DJ Bob Wooler at Paul’s 21st birthday party in 1963.

Everyone in Liverpool knew that Epstein was gay, and some kid in the audience screamed, ‘John Lennon’s a fucking queer!’ And John – who never wore his glasses on stage – put his guitar down and went into the crowd, shouting, ‘Who said that?’ So this kid says, ‘I fucking did.’ John went after him and BAM, gave him the Liverpool kiss, sticking the nut on him – twice! And the kid went down in a mass of blood, snot and teeth. Then John got back on the stage. ‘Anybody else?’ he asked. Silence. ‘All right then. “Some Other Guy”.’”

Lemmy Kilmister, White Line Fever: The Biography. (2004)

“Victim in 1961 was one of the first British films to deal properly and thoughtfully with the subject. Dirk Bogarde welcomed the opportunity to play the homosexual barrister, and there were some very tense scenes between him and his wife, Sylvia Syms. In one scene, Dirk Bogarde lifts his garage door at the back of the mews to discover that someone has painted graffiti about him on the wall. The Beatles were sitting together at a Cavern lunchtime session and John Lennon, who was talking to Paul and George, was making biting remarks about Victim, which was on at the Odeon. I knew by then that Brian was what he was, and I thought, ‘Well, I am surprised at John, who is 21 and a young man of the world.’ He was making such nasty, puritanical observations, but I never said anything as they didn’t know that I was listening.”

Bob Wooler, c/o Spencer Leigh, The Best of Fellas: The Story of Bob Wooler. (2002)

If somebody is going to manage me, I want to know them inside out. He told me he was a fag.

 I like “Honky Tonk Woman” but I think Mick’s a joke, with all that fag dancing, I always did

I think its concept is revolutionary, and I hope it’s for workers and not for tarts and fags.

I don’t know about the “history”; the people who are in control and in power, and the class system and the whole bullshit bourgeoisie is exactly the same, except there is a lot of fag middle class kids with long, long hair walking around London in trendy clothes

I don’t dig that junkie fag scene he lives in; I don’t know whether he lives like that or what.

Casual homophobia in Lennon Remembers (Notable for the increase in homophobic language post-primary scream therapy, here is some interesting speculation about how these two things are related)

The violence that had been building inside John Lennon all night came bursting out the moment he left the studio. It struck so fast and unexpectedly that it stunned May Pang. She recalled that John was walking unsteadily toward the parking lot when suddenly he cast a drunken look over his shoulder at Jesse Ed Davis. Running over to him, Lennon gave Jesse Ed a passionate kiss on the mouth. Not to be outdone, Jesse Ed grabbed John and kissed him back. Lennon screamed, “F****t!” — and knocked Jesse flat on his ass.

The Lives of John Lennon by Albert Goldman (May Pang, describing an incident during the recording of Rock 'n' Roll in 1973: p.564)

It turned into a full-on fight. John was incredibly strong! He got me in some kind of a hold behind my back that I could not get out of, like a full nelson. And he started to kiss me on the mouth! He was laughin’ and kissin’ me on the mouth. I was strugglin’ to git away and I couldn’t git away. Then he stuck his tongue in my mouth. God! So I bit him. Bit him on the tongue. That pissed him off. So he grabbed the marble ashtray that we couldn’t break and banged me on the head. Knocked me cold.

The Lives of John Lennon by Albert Goldman (a direct quote from Jesse Ed Davis about a different night: p. 576-577)

Alternatively, he could be openly supportive:

Why make it sad to be gay? Doing your thing is O.K. Our bodies our own So leave us alone Go play with yourself – today.

A poem submitted for Len Richmond and Gary Noguera's Gay Liberation Handbook, on 30 May 1972

John spreading rumours: John (and Yoko) had a propensity for intentionally spreading rumours about his sexuality, with many people claiming that he found it funny. Multiple people refused to believe his own words about his experiences or willingness with men.

John told me he had had a one-night stand with Brian, on a holiday with him in Spain, when Brian had invited him out, a few days after the birth of Julian in 1963, leaving Cyn alone. I mentioned this brief holiday in the book, but not what John had alleged had taken place. Partly, I didn't really believe it, though John was daft enough to try almost anything once. John was certainly not homosexual, and this boast, or lie, would have given the wrong impression. It was also not fair on Cynthia, his then wife.

Hunter Davies, The Beatles: The Authorised Biography (updated edition, 2010)

John himself said he finally allowed Brian to make love to him “to get it out of the way.” Those who knew John well, who had known him for years, don’t believe it for a moment. John was aggressively heterosexual and had never given a hint that he was anything but.

Tony Bramwell, Magical Mystery Tours: My Life With The Beatles, 2014

John roared with laughter at the rumours that began afterwards. Typically, he encouraged the stories that he and Brian were gay lovers because he thought it was funny and John was one of the world’s great wind-up merchants. He told me afterwards in one of our frankest heart-to-hearts that Brian never seriously did proposition him. He had teased Brian about the young men he kept gazing at and the odd ones who had found their way to his room. Brian had joked to John about the women who hurled themselves at him. ‘If he’d asked me, I probably would have done anything he wanted. I was so much in awe of Brian then I’d have tried a night of vice-versa. But he never wanted me like that. Sure, I took the mickey a bit and pretended to lead him on. But we both knew we were joking.

Alistair Taylor, With The Beatles, 2003

Years later, John finally came clean about what had happened: not to anyone who’d been around at the time, but to the unshockable woman with whom he shared the last decade of his life. He said that one night during the trip, Brian had cast aside shyness and scruples and finally come on to him, but that he’d replied, “If you feel like that, go out and find a hustler.” Afterward, he had deliberately fed Pete Shotton the myth of his brief surrender, so that everyone would believe his power over Brian to be absolute.

Philip Norman, John Lennon: The Life, 2008

The next night Elliot [Mintz] took us out with a friend of his, Sal Mineo, and we all went to a gay cabaret/discotheque. John was oblivious to the gay ambience. He was curious about everyone’s sexuality and liked to gossip about who was sleeping with whom, whether they were gay or straight. John made no judgements about homosexuality but was really curious about who was and who wasn’t gay.

He knew that his appearance at a gay club might start rumors about his own sexuality, and it made him laugh. He told me that there had been rumors about him and his first manager, Brian Epstein, and that he usually didn’t deny them. He liked the fact that people could be titillated by having suspicions about his masculinity. Then I was the one who was laughing. “How could anyone believe a man who likes women as much as you do is gay?” I told him.

May Pang’s Loving John (1983).

Q. Have you ever fucked a guy?

A. Not yet, I thought I’d save it til I was 40, life begins at 40 you know, tho I never noticed it.

Q. It is trendy to be bisexual and you’re usually ‘keeping up with the Jones’, haven’t you ever… there was talk about you and PAUL…

A. Oh, I thought it was about me and Brian Epstein… anyway, I’m saving all the juice for my own version of THE REAL FAB FOUR BEATLES STORY etc.. etc..

John Lennon self interview for Andy Warhol’s Interview Magazine (November 1974).

John: Yes, all your best friends let you know what's going on. I was trying to put it 'round that I was gay, you know-- I thought that would throw them off... dancing at all the gay clubs in Los Angeles, flirting with the boys... but it never got off the ground.

Q: I think I've only heard that lately about Paul.

John: Oh, I've had him, he's no good. [Laughter]

John Lennon, interviewed by Lisa Robinson for Hit Parader: A conversation with John Lennon (December 1975).

“It’s great,” Ono laughs. “I mean, both John and I thought it was good that people think we were bisexual, or homosexual.” She laughs again.

“Uh, well, the story I was told was a very explicit story, and from that I think they didn’t have it [sex],” Ono tells me. “But they went to Spain, and when they came back, tons of reporters were asking, ‘Did you do it, did you do it?’ So he said, ‘I did it.’ Isn’t that amazing? But of course he would say that. I’m sure Brian Epstein made a move, yeah.”

And Lennon said no to Epstein?

“He just didn’t want to do it, I think.”

Yoko Ono: I Still Fear John’s Killer by Tim Teeman for the Daily Beast (13 October 2015).

Over dinner the Wenners learned the secrets of the Beatles kingdom from Ono, who would often suggest to Wenner that John Lennon was gay. “She’s always hinted that there was some gay component to John,” said Wenner, “but in a vague or generalized way, like, ‘Isn’t everybody gay?’ Or, ‘I always told John he was gay.’ ” (She also told McCartney this theory after Lennon died, which he didn’t believe.)”

Joe Hagan, Sticky Fingers: The Life and Times of Jann Wenner & Rolling Stone Magazine. (2017)

On the other hand, he supposedly hated the rumours:

Claims have been made since that Brian and John had a gay relationship. Nothing could be further from the truth. John was a hundred per cent heterosexual and, like most lads at that time, horrified by the idea of homosexuality.

It was a holiday John came to regret because it sparked off a string of rumours about his relationship with Brian. He had to put up with sly digs, winks and innuendo that he was secretly gay. It infuriated him: all he'd wanted was a break with a friend, but it was turned into so much more.

Cynthia Lennon, John, 2005

And I just went on holiday. I watched Brian picking up the boys. I like playing a bit faggy, all that. It was enjoyable, but there were big rumours in Liverpool, it was terrible. Very embarrassing. Rumors about you and Brian? Oh, fuck knows—yes, yes. I was pretty close to Brian because if somebody's going to manage me, I want to know them inside out.

John Lennon, Jann S. Wenner, Lennon Remembers, 1970

Unfortunately, certain Liverpool acquaintances (who had no way of knowing that there was a kernel of truth to their allegations) wouldn't let John hear the end of it. All in good fun, no doubt, but John was still too enamored of his macho self-image to take lightly any inference that he was anything less than 100 percent heterosexual.

The Beatles, Lennon, and me - Pete Shotton

John's comments about his sexuality:

It’s just handy to fuck your best friend. That’s what it is. And once I resolved the fact that it was a woman as well, it’s all right. We go through the trauma of life and death every day so it’s not so much of a worry about what sex we are anymore.

John Lennon, interview w/ Jonathan Cott for Rolling Stone: Yoko Ono and her sixteen-track voice. (March 18th, 1971)

I just realized that [Yoko] knew everything I knew, and more, probably, and it was coming out of a woman’s head. It just sort of bowled me over, you know? And it was like finding gold or something. To find somebody that you can go and get pissed with, and have exactly the same relationship as any mate in Liverpool you’d ever had, but also you could go to bed with him, and it could stroke your head when you felt tired, or sick, or depressed. It could also be Mother. And obviously, that’s what the male-female – you know, you could take those roles with each other.

John Lennon, interview w/ Peter McCabe and Robert D. Schonfeld c/o Peter McCabe and Robert D. Schonfeld, John Lennon: For The Record. (September 5th, 1971)

It’s a plus, it’s not a minus. The plus is that your best friend, also, can hold you without… I mean, I’m not a homosexual, or we could have had a homosexual relationship and maybe that would have satisfied it, with working with other male artists. [faltering] An artist – it’s more – it’s much better to be working with another artist of the same energy, and that’s why there’s always been Beatles or Marx Brothers or men, together. Because it’s alright for them to work together or whatever it is. It’s the same except that we sleep together, you know? I mean, not counting love and all the things on the side, just as a working relationship with her, it has all the benefits of working with another male artist and all the joint inspiration, and then we can hold hands too, right?

John Lennon, interview w/ Sandra Shevey. (Mid-June?, 1972)

I was on holiday with Brian Epstein in Spain, where the rumours went around that he and I were having a love affair. Well, it was almost a love affair, but not quite. It was never consummated. But it was a pretty intense relationship. It was my first experience with a homosexual that I was conscious was homosexual. He had admitted it to me. We had this holiday together because Cyn was pregnant, and I went to Spain and there were lots of funny stories. We used to sit in a cafe in Torremolinos looking at all the boys and I’d say, ‘Do you like that one, do you like this one?’ I was rather enjoying the experience, thinking like a writer all the time: I am experiencing this, you know.

John Lennon, Rolling Stone, 1980

I was thinking, if only I could get out of Liverpool, be famous and rich, that would be great. I’ve always wanted to be a famous artist, you know? Possibly I’d have to marry a very rich old lady… or man, you know… to… to look after me while I did my art. But then Rock & Roll came and I thought ‘Ah, this is the one’, so I didn’t have to marry anybody or live with them, you know?

John Lennon interview

There was even some discussion, albeit not very serious, of whether he should stick to his own gender. “John said ‘It would hurt you like crazy if I made it with a girl. With a guy, maybe you wouldn’t be hurt, because that’s not competition. But I can’t make it with a guy because I love women too much, and I’d have to fall in love with the guy and I don’t think I can.’”

John Lennon: The Life

I look at early pictures of meself, and I was torn between being Marlon Brando and being the sensitive poet – the Oscar Wilde part of me with the velvet, feminine side. I was always torn between the two, mainly opting for the macho side, because if you showed the other side, you were dead.

John Lennon, December 5th, 1980

“John believed in my work as an artist wasn’t accepted in part because I am a woman. He got angry when people said about me, “She’s not a woman, she’s a female impersonator.” John said to me, “If I had been gay and gotten together with a guy who was talented like you, after ten years that guy would have become famous as an artist in his own right. Maybe we should come out and say, ‘Actually, Yoko is a guy.’ Maybe that will do it!”

Yoko Ono, interview w/ Jon Wiener, c/o Jon Wiener, Come Together: John Lennon In His Time. (1984)

In this intense, intimate and revealing original cassette recording of a private conversation in 1969 between John Lennon and Yoko Ono, the couple speaks primarily about Yoko’s past relationships, her music and art, and their random views on sex, love, promiscuity, and homosexuality. […] [Lennon] adds that he had never met an attractive woman that had sexually aroused him to any great degree.

Description of the 45-minute audiotape auctioned in 2009 by Alexander Autographs.

Yoko's comments about his sexuality:

“Well, that’s another thing. John and I had a big talk about it, saying, basically, all of us must be bisexual. And we were sort of in a situation of thinking that we’re not [bisexual] because of society. So we are hiding the other side of ourselves, which is less acceptable. But I don’t have a strong sexual desire towards another woman.”

Did Lennon have sex with other men?

“I think he had a desire to, but I think he was too inhibited,” says Ono.

“No, not inhibited. He said, ‘I don’t mind if there’s an incredibly attractive guy.’ It’s very difficult: They would have to be not just physically attractive, but mentally very advanced too. And you can’t find people like that.”

So did Lennon ever have sex with men?

“No, I don’t think so,” says Ono. “The beginning of the year he was killed, he said to me, ‘I could have done it, but I can’t because I just never found somebody that was that attractive.’ Both John and I were into attractiveness—you know—beauty.”

Yoko Ono: I Still Fear John’s Killer by Tim Teeman for the Daily Beast (13 October 2015).

"As mild and oblique as the comment was [Paul's "You took your lucky break and broke it in two" line from "Too Many People"], it seemed to cut John to the heart. On top of the questionnaire inside theMcCartney album and the lawsuit, it was like the tipping point between a divorcing couple that turns love into savage, no-holds-barred hostility. Indeed, John's wounded anger was more that of an ex-spouse than ex-colleague, reinforcing a suspicion already in Yoko's mind that his feelings for Paul had been far more intense than the world at large ever guessed. From chance remarks he had made, she gathered there had even been a moment where - on the principle that bohemians should try everything - he had contemplated an affair with Paul, but had been deterred by Paul's immovable heterosexuality. Nor, apparently, was Yoko the only one to have picked up on this. Around Apple, in her hearing, Paul would sometimes be called John's princess. She had also once heard a rehearsal tape with John's voice calling out "Paul ... Paul ... " in a strangely subservient, pleading way. "I knew there was something going on there," she remembers. "From his point of view, not from Paul's. And he was so angry at Paul, I couldn't help wondering what it was really about.""

Philip Norman, John Lennon: The Life, 2008

I’m sure that if he had been a woman or something, he would have been a great threat, because there’s something definitely very strong with me, John, and Paul.

Yoko Ono, Revolution Tape, June 4th 1968

Friends & acquaintances comments on his sexuality:

I realised I was probably bisexual; there was nothing to be ashamed of in this – John Lennon had reputedly spoken to mutual friends of his own experiments.

Who I Am: A Memoir, Pete Townshend 2012

PAUL: There were lots of people asking cheeky questions, and they were always saying, “Well, why–have you ever tried homosexuality, John?” You know, they always used to ask all that kind of stuff. I remember John saying to them, “No, I’ve never met a fella I fancy enough.” And that was his kind of opinion. You know, “I may go–I may be gay one day, if some fella really turns me on.” He was–he was that open about it. But as far as I was concerned, I slept in a million hotel rooms–as we all did–slept in a million places with John, and there was never any hint of it.

December 24th, 1983: interview with DJ Roger Scott

“And you, Icke?” asked Paul. “Who’s your favourite author?” “Henry Miller. I think he’s very good,” I said. In that moment John suddenly looked over at me. Until then he had been watching Bettina, the bar lady, rinsing glasses and tidying up the bar, with his typical somewhat blasé expression. Our discussion hadn’t seemed to interest him much. Now he was looking directly into my eyes. Quietly and without taking his eyes off me, he walked around the whole counter over to me, planted a kiss on my mouth and went back to his spot. At first, I was quite surprised and didn’t know what to do about it, then I found it rather funny and thought little of it. A few days later, it happened again. I happened upon* him in the hallway behind the stage and again he took my hand and kissed me. At some point the thought occurred to me, “man, he thinks I’m gay, but I can’t help him with that.” What was really going on, I don’t know. Maybe he meant the kisses as overtures; he was even treated as a closet case by homosexuals.

Hans-Walther (Icke) Braun (a friend of the Beatles in Hamburg)

"What happened," John explained, "is that Eppy just kept on and on at me. Until one night I finally just pulled me trousers down and said to him: 'Oh, for Christ's sake, Brian, just stick it up me fucking arse then.' "And he said to me, 'Actually, John, I don't do that kind of thing. That's not what I like to do.' "'Well,' I said, 'what is it you want to do, then?' "And he said, 'I'd really just like to touch you, John.' "And so I let him toss me off." And that was that. End of story. "That's all, John?" I said. "Well, so what? What's the big fucking deal, then?" "Yeah, so fucking what! The poor bastard. He's having a fucking hard enough time anyway." This was in reference to the "butch" dockers who, on several recent occasions, had rewarded Brian's advances by beating him to a bloody pulp. "So what harm did it do, then, Pete, for fuck's sake?" John asked rhetorically. "No harm at all. The poor fucking bastard, he can't help the way he is." "No need to get so worked up," I said. "You know I don't give a shit. What's a fucking wank between friends anyway?"

Pete Shotton, Nicholas Schaffner, John Lennon: In My Life, 1983

I think he was trying to find himself a… what he’d call a soulmate. Someone who had as mad ideas as he had. I think he felt that she had the talent… but that’s debatable. But he needed that— he didn’t need a ‘mumsie’ partner at that point. He needed a mate. And I think he actually said, at some stage, in an interview that, you know— She’s the nearest thing to a man — a mate; man — that he’s ever had in a woman.

Cynthia Lennon, interviewed by Alex Belfield for BBC Radio (2006).

Paul wrote to me from the Star Club in Hamburg once, a great letter, it even had doodles on the front of it, but it was stolen. He said that in one of the clubs one night John Lennon ended up with a stunning, exotic-looking woman—only to discover on closer inspection that she was a he, which all the other Beatles found hilarious.

Sue Johnston (actress), The Mirror. (August 23rd, 2011)

Though raised amid the same homophobia as his companions, John seemed totally unshocked by St Pauli’s abundant drag scene; indeed, he often seemed actively to seek it out. ‘There was one particular club he used to like,’ Tony Sheridan remembers, ‘full of these big guys with hairy hands, deep voices—and breasts. But they used to make an effort to talk English. There was something about the place that seemed to make John feel at home.’

In John Lennon: The Life by Philip Norman (2008).

“We’d read all these things about leather and we didn’t have any leather but I had my oilskins and we had some polythene bags from somewhere. We all dressed up in them and wore them in bed. John stayed the night with us in the same bed. I don’t think anything very exciting happened and we all wondered what the fun was in being ‘kinky’. It was probably more my idea than John’s.”

Royston Ellis

In the same book Pauline speculates, sensationally, that John and her brother had a homosexual relationship. ‘I have known in my heart for many years that Stuart and John had a sexual relationship,’ she writes, though she fails to provide any firm evidence. Pauline wonders whether this ‘relationship’ was the real cause of the antagonism between Paul and Stu.

Fab, An Intimate Life of Paul McCartney

Journalist & author comments on his sexuality:

“No, he wasn’t sexually attracted to Paul. Paul was very very pretty, but he actually wasn’t someone who made gay men fancy him. John was much more likely to make a gay man like Brian Epstein because John seemed so straight, there was nothing sort of girly about John at all. But John wanted to be, in his mind, a real artist, that is someone who painted and did sculpture. And he thought that a real artist or he called it a bohemian, should be open to all experiences. He should perhaps have a homosexual experience. Who was around? Paul was around. They used to share beds you know, in these cheap hotels when they would go around with the Beatles. There was never any question of Paul ever reciprocating such a thing, it was merely a thought that according to Yoko had flitted across John’s mind. Now John could use sexuality, I mean he did somewhat play on the fact that Brian Epstein, the Beatles manager, was in love with him you know, but it was just a game really with John.”

Philip Norman interview

"Yet even [John's resentment over Paul announcing the breakup first] does not explain his later remark to Yoko that no one had ever hurt him the way Paul hurt him. It almost suggests that, deep beneath the schoolboy friendship and the complementary musical brilliance, lay some streak of homosexual adoration that John himself never realised. He might have longed to get away from Paul, but he could never quite get over him."

Philip Norman, Shout!, 1981

And any mention of Paul brought a wintry bleakness to her face. 'John always used to say,' [Yoko] told me at one point, 'that no one ever hurt him the way Paul hurt him.' The words suggested a far deeper emotional attachment between the two than the world had ever suspected---they were like those of a spurned lover---and I naturally included them in my account of my visit for the Sunday Times. After it appeared, I returned to my London flat one evening to be told by my then girlfriend, ‘Paul, phoned you.’ She said he wanted to know what Yoko had meant and that he’d seemed upset rather than angry.

Paul McCartney: The Life - Philip Norman.

“If you had a choice, Eppy,” John said, “if you could press a button and be hetero, would you do it?” Brian thought for a moment. “Strangely, no,” he said. A little later a peculiar game developed. John would point out some passing man to Brian, and Brian would explain to him what it was about the fellow that he found attractive or unattractive. “I was rather enjoying the experience,” John said, “thinking like a writer all the time: I am experiencing this.” And still later, back in their hotel suite, drunk and sleepy from the sweet Spanish wine, Brian and John undressed in silence. “It’s okay, Eppy,” John said, and lay down on his bed. Brian would have liked to have hugged him, but he was afraid. Instead, John lay there, tentative and still, and Brian fulfilled the fantasies he was so sure would bring him contentment, only to awake the next morning as hollow as before.

Peter Brown, The Love You Make, 1983

“[John and Janov] talked…about Brian Epstein…‘He knew Brian had adored him, and there was a lot of guilt there about the way he'd depended on Brian yet mistreated him,’ Janov recalls. They talked about John's notorious Spanish holiday with Brian in 1963 and the (to John) insignificant physical encounter that had resulted. The more Janov heard about Brian, the more he longed to have had him as a patient. ‘God, that was a tragic story. There was someone who needed therapy even more than John did.’”

Phillip Normans book, John Lennon: The Life.

Whilst the Beatles had always been marketed as a heterosexual group - in contrast with the Stones, whose image was androgynous - they were sympathetic to the homosexual population. Lennon himself was alleged to have had affairs with both men and women, and although he never openly admitted it to me, his condemnation of Britain as a land which feeds on a homosexual subsculture persuades me at this late stage that he was speaking from experience. I am sure that the break-up of the Beatles, or, more specifically, of John and Paul, must have been more traumatic than any of us suspect.

Sandra Shevey, The Other Side of Lennon

‘OK: John Reid said that when we were in Boston with Elton and John in 1974, he couldn’t resist asking John whether the rumours about him and Epstein were true. This was in response to John having said to John Reid, “You’re the most intimidating man I’ve met since Brian Epstein.” And so John Reid, never knowingly one to miss an opportunity, said, “Did you ever have sex with Brian?” And John said, “Twice. Once to see what it was like, and once to make sure I didn’t like it.” ‘All these years, by the way, I have not wanted to be the guy who declared, “John Lennon and Brian Epstein had sex.” You can appreciate how I feel about this. Do we want the historical record to be accurate, or does John have a right to privacy? And would it upset Cynthia [by now deceased], or Julian? I don’t mind about Yoko, she’d probably think it was a great idea. Bisexuality, wooh.’ ‘Simon Napier-Bell said that both Epstein and John told him they did it in Spain,’ I said. ‘Ah, I’m not the only one. Good,’ replied Paul.

...

But then there were John’s liaisons with David Bowie, which David himself told me about. According to him, it happened on several occasions. He didn’t go into detail, nor did I press him, but he was perfectly open about it. About Mick Jagger, too, I told Paul. ‘Huh. I feel sort of left out,’ said Paul.

Paul Gambaccini, Lesley-Ann Jones - The Search for John Lennon

"That Bowie worshipped Lennon was no secret…They'd met in Los Angeles, [Bowie] told me, during John's Lost Weekend…The crazy pair went out to play, according to David, when John was on yet another break from May [Pang] and far away from Yoko. They gender bendered about, John indulging again that 'inner fag' of his… They later 'hooked up': 'There was a whore in the middle, and it wasn't either of us,' David smirked. 'At some point in the proceedings, she left. I think it was a she. Not that we minded.' By the time they made it back to New York, the ambisextrous pair were 'lifelong friends!"

Lesley-Ann Jones - The Search for John Lennon

Marriage, Divorce & replacing Paul with Yoko:

"I used my resentment and withdrawing from Paul and the Beatles and the relationship with Paul to write 'How Do You Sleep?'

John (Source: Bill Harry, The John Lennon Encyclopedia, 2001)

JOHN: In a marriage, or a love affair – when the seven-year-itch or the twelve-year (note: there is no such thing as the twelve year itch but guess how long J&P were together) or whatever these things that you have to go through – there comes a point where the marriage collapses because they can’t face that reality, and they go seeking what they thought they should be having, still, somewhere else. I get a new girl, it’ll all be like that again; I get a new boy… But for all marriages, all couples, it’ll all be the same again. But what you lose is what you put into that… relationship.

September, 1980

There seem to be certain cycles that relationships go through. And the critical points are at different parts of the different cycles, different points on the – if there’s a straight line, there are different points, you know? And the bit, the new way of talking is like, “Well, why have a relationship? We can just stop and get another one.” But the karmic joke about that is, that any new relationship, presuming you’re lucky enough to find a new relationship anywhere near the relationship that you’re giving up – or exchanging, or walking away from, or have destroyed by inattention or inadvertent or selfishness or whatever it is – that you have to go through the same thing again anyway. You reach the same point.

John Lennon, interview w/ David Sheff for Playboy. (September, 1980)

"I'd like to thank Elton and the boys for having me on tonight. We tried to think of a number to finish off with so I can get out of here and be sick, and we thought we'd do a number of an old estranged fiancé of mine called Paul."

John, introducing "I Saw Her Standing There" at the Thanksgiving show at Madison Square Garden in 1974

You know, John loved Paul. No doubt about it. I remember once he said to me, “I’m the only person who’s allowed to say things like that about Paul. I don’t like it when other people do.” He didn’t like if other people said nasty things about Paul. And he always referred to Paul as his estranged fiancé and things like that, like he did on that [live] record ‘I Saw Her Standing There’ with Elton in Madison Square Garden.

1990: Former Beatles publicist Tony King

TRYNKA: When The Beatles split, did you feel relief? YOKO: No. I always thought, “John won’t be doing this thing with The Beatles and eventually I can do my work too.” That was my plan. But suddenly he’s saying, “I burned my bridge with them, so now it’s you, okay?” I thought, “My God, he was getting the thrill of working with three very strong individuals, and now I have to take all that brunt.” He did put it that way; he was “riding on the boat called Paul, and now I’m going to ride on a boat called Yoko.”

Yoko Ono, interview w/ Paul Trynka for MOJO. (May, 2003)

“. . . I mean, I think really what it was, really all that happened was that John fell in love. With Yoko. And so, with such a powerful alliance like that, it was difficult for him to still be seeing me. It was as if I was another girlfriend, almost. Our relationship was a strong relationship. And if he was to start a new relationship, he had to put this other one away. And I understood that. I mean, I couldn’t stand in the way of someone who’d fallen in love. You can’t say, “Who’s this?” You can’t really do that. If I was a girl, maybe I could go out and… But you know I mean in this case I just sort of said, right – I mean, I didn’t say anything, but I could see that was the way it was going to go, and that Yoko would be very sort of powerful for him. So um, we all had to get out the way.”

Paul McCartney, interview with German tv program Exclusiv, April 1985.

BARROW: She was a very strong influence on John, and may well have been telling him that he could do best on his own, but I still think that on the back of John’s mind would be this sort of fascination with wanting to get back with the first girlfriend, if you’d like [laughs], and it was to get back with Paul that he had so much history with.

Tony Barrow, The Beatles’ press officer

"[Paul] said it was written about Julian. He knew I was splitting with Cyn and leaving Julian then. He was driving to see Julian to say hello. He had been like an uncle. And he came up with 'Hey Jude.' But I always heard it as a song to me. Now I'm sounding like one of those fans reading things into it...Think about it: Yoko had just come into the picture. He is saying 'Hey, Jude' - 'Hey, John.' Subconsciously, he was saying, 'Go ahead, leave me.' On a conscious level, he didn't want me to go ahead. The angel in him was saying 'Bless you.' The Devil in him didn't like it at all, because he didn't want to lose his partner."

John (Source: Playboy, 1980)

SALEWICZ: Well, I always found it interesting the fact that he got – I mean, it seemed too much like coincidence to me, the fact that he got married a week or month after you. You know what I mean? PAUL: Yeah. I think we spurred each other into marriage. I mean, you know. They were very strong together, which left me out of the picture. So I got together with Linda and then we got strong with our own kind of thing. And I used to listen to a lot of what they said. I remember him saying to me, “You’ve got to work at marriage,” which is something I still remember as a bit of advice. I still remember that. Um… And then yeah, I think they were a little bit peeved that we got married first. Probably. In a little way, you know, just minor jealousies. And so they got married. I don’t know if that’s – I mean, who knows… [inaudible] making it up, anyway.

September, 1986 (MPL Communications, London): journalist Chris Salewicz

“If you look at interviews and stuff with John, from around about that time he was in Imagine [documentary] he kind of admits that he’s having problems with himself. So, well, the first thing you do when you’re having problems with yourself is you bitch about someone else. And the closest person was me…He had a real go at me. I personally think it was ‘cause he was trying to clear the decks for Yoko. He’s got a new love, he’s trying to say to her, “Look, baby, I love you. I hate those guys.”

Paul McCartney

"The line [the walrus was Paul] was put in partly because I was feeling guilty because I was with Yoko and I was leaving Paul. It's a very perverse way of saying to Paul: 'here, have this crumb, this illusion, this stroke - because I'm leaving.'" -John

Playboy, 1980

JOHN: And throwing in the line “the Walrus was Paul” just to confuse everybody a bit more. And because I felt slightly guilty because I’d got Yoko, and he’d got nothing, and I was gonna quit. [laughs; bleak] And so I thought ‘Walrus’ has now become [in] meaning, “I am the one.” It didn’t mean that in the song, originally. It just meant I’m the – it could have been I’m the – “I’m The Fox Terrier,” you know. I mean, it’s just a bit of poetry.

August, 1980: John talks to Playboy writer David Sheff about ‘Glass Onion’.

"I started thinking, 'Well, if that's the case [not getting back together], I had better get myself together. I just can't let John control the situation and dump us as if we're the jilted girlfriends.'"

The Beatles, Anthology, 1995

“After we’d done the One To One concert film,” recalled Steve Gebhardt, “I remember John saying to me that the days of everything being Johnandyoko – one word – were over. I was shocked.” Ono completed her record, Approximately Infinite Universe, which was greeted more positively than her previous releases. Lennon did his best to publicise it, writing a personal note to the Capitol Records boss asking him to throw the company’s weight behind it. But in mid-January 1973 Lennon and Ono quarrelled publicly at another party. “I wish I was back with Paul,” Lennon reportedly said.

Peter Doggett, You Never Give Me Your Money: The Battle for the Soul of The Beatles. (2009)

YOKO: I think that it’s like [John] was married to Paul, and now he was married to me… So it was a situation that he didn’t feel like he wanted to go back, really. John had a lot of respect for Paul, and of course, love. But I would think that if the truth may be told, the love was lost on both ways. There were times that Paul did say a lot of strange things about John, so that I know that it wasn’t like Paul loved John but John didn’t love Paul, or John actually loved Paul but Paul didn’t. I mean, it was like a very healthy situation where they outgrew each other’s company. And only until John became what he is now – which is after John’s death that people started to revere John – it became an issue for Paul. Because you have to understand that table was turned many times. One, when John made the Jesus Christ remark, and Paul became virtually a leader. And John turned the table on Paul by becoming a partner with me, probably. But then the thing is, the table was turned again by Paul becoming extremely successful with Wings. So he was doing alright, while John did Some Time in New York City with me, and then followed that with Mind Games or something, you know. 1990: Yoko

“They loved each other more than most couples do, and when they split it was more wrenching than most divorces”

Beatles publicist Tony Barrow on Lennon and McCartney

““I’m sure that in the case of Paul there’s that feeling that I’m the woman who took away his partner – it’s like a divorce.””

Yoko Ono (You Never Give Me Your Money, Peter Doggett)

“On March 12, Paul married Linda Eastman at Marylebone Register Office in London, amid scenes of hysterical grief from his female fans. None of the other Beatles was present. The news reached John as he and Yoko were driving down to visit Aunt Mimi in Poole. Yoko’s divorce decree had become final a few weeks earlier, and, in a resurgence of Beatle copycat, John told her they, too, must get married as soon as possible”

Philip Norman, John Lennon: The life

“Then also we were like married, so you got the bitterness. It’s not a woman scorned this time, it’s two men scorned — probably even worse. And I had to make way for Yoko. My relationship with John could not have remained as it was and Yoko feel secure.”

Paul McCartney, Interview by Duncan Fallowell in the Chicago Tribune, October 14th, 1984

Knowing John so well, I believe that the only reason he picked Yoko was [he wanted] a negative reaction. I mean, it was purely a negative reaction because he couldn’t take any more girls in the world, actually. I mean, he knew that he could have any girl. And the girls, that were nice-looking—he couldn’t stand them. I mean, from morning to night, there were girls not boys—actually, running after them. We used to go to his house and think that we are in peace. Suddenly a girl with a broken leg is jumping over John’s fence to, to get an autograph. It was a pain in the neck. John wanted to be with a woman. But he needed as well very, very much a friend. He needed a male friend. And my opinion is that Yoko, he managed somehow to combine both. He had a fear for pretty women running after him. Yoko was not very pretty, uh, at all, and he replaced a male in his life plus a female.

Magic Alex, All You Need Is Love – Peter Brown & Steven Gaines

Jealousy regarding Paul Mccartney: I wouldn't consider any of this especially convincing on it's own, however John's consistent dislike for and rudeness towards Paul's partners is notable

I was a very possessive and jealous guy, and the lyrics explain that pretty clearly. Not just jealous towards Yoko, but towards everything, male and female – incredibly possessive.

1970 (audio snippet approx 2:06)

In an entry noting McCartney’s marriage to Linda Eastman, Lennon crossed out “wedding” and wrote “funeral”, the Observer said.

Associated Press: Lennon’s resentment of McCartney reflected in book notes. (July 20th, 1986)

Q: I saw that thing in The Observer the other week, about the manuscript of the Apple Beatles biography and the vitriolic comments John made in the margins. I think that shows the sort of pain he was going through. Look, he was a great guy, great sense of humour and I’d do it all again. I’d go through it all again, and have him slagging me off again just because he was so great; those are all the down moments, there was much more pleasure than has really come out. I had a wonderful time, with one of the world’s most talented people. We had all that craziness, but if someone took one of your wedding photos and put ‘funeral’ on it, as he did on that manuscript, you’d tend to feel a bit sorry for the guy. I’ll tell you what, if I’d ever done that to him, he would’ve just hit the roof. But I just sat through it all like mild-mannered Clark Kent Q: When did you actually get a perspective on it? I still haven’t. It’s still inside me. John was lucky. He got all his hurt out. I’m a different sort of a personality. There’s still a lot inside me that’s trying to work it out. And that’s why it’s good to see that wedding-funeral bit, because I started to think, ‘Wait a minute, this is someone who’s going over the top. This is paranoia manifesting itself.’ And so my feeling is just like it was at the time, which is like, He’s my buddy, I don’t really want to do anything to hurt him, or his memory, or anything. I don’t want to hurt Yoko. But, at the same time, it doesn’t mean that I understand what went down.

Paul McCartney: An Innocent Man? (October, 1986)

Q: "But for a while you didn't get along with Linda." JOHN: "We all got along well with Linda." Q: "When did you first meet her?" JOHN: "The first time was after that Apple press conference in America. We were going back to the airport and she was in the car with us. I didn't think she was particularly attractive. A bit too tweedy, you know. But she sat in the car and took photographs and that was it. And the next minute she's married him."

John Lennon Interview: St. Regis Hotel, New York City 9/5/1971

One night John came in and some chick was in bed with Paul and he cut all her clothes up with a pair of scissors, and was stabbing the wardrobe. Everybody was lying in bed thinking, ‘Oh fuck, I hope he doesn’t kill me.’ [He was] a frothing mad person—he knew how to have ‘fun.’

George Harrison, c/o Derek Taylor, Fifty Years Adrift. (1984)

"One time Paul had a chick in bed and John came in and got a pair of scissors and cut all her clothes into pieces and then wrecked the wardrobe. He got like that occasionally, it was because of the pills and being up too long."

George Harrison (Source: The Beatles, Anthology, 1995)

"I remember I had a girlfriend called Celia. I must have been 16 or 17, about the same age as her...we went out one evening and for some reason John tagged along, I can't remember why it was. I think he'd thought I was going to see him, I thought I'd cancelled it and he showed up at my house. But he was a mate, and he came on a date with this Celia girl, and at the end of the date she said, 'Why did you bring that dreadful guy?' And of course I said, 'Well, he's all right really.' And I think, in many ways, I always found myself doing that. It was always, 'Well, I know he was rude; it was funny, though, wasn't it?'"

Paul, Barry Miles, Many Years From Now, 1997

I came for dinner, and I was the only girl there. John definitely didn't like that. He didn't like me being there at ALL. He was mean and sarcastic. As far as he was concerned, I had no business being invited to dinner with the four of them. For him this was an exclusive boys' club. He was purposely making me feel uneasy. At one point, the boys were handing around a scrapbook -- looking at pictures of that first tour. John made some snide comment like, "What is SHE doing here?" I got the idea that he thought Paul was an idiot to take a girl so seriously he'd actually invite her to dinner, when all he really needed to do was fuck her AFTER dinner.

Peggy Lipton, Breathing Out, 2005

Whether it was her cool confidence or her posh accent, something about Jane goaded John to direct his caustic eyes in her direction. “Well. Let’s all play a question-and-answer-game!” He announced a bit too cheerily. Then he turned to Jane. “So tell us, luv, how do girls play with themselves?” Silence. Jane’s eyes widened. Paul, sitting close to her on the floor, put his hand in the air, as if he could wave John’s words back into his mouth. “John! John!” he yelped. “Stop it. You can’t do that.” John just smiled, peering intently through his glasses. “No, you can tell us. Come on. We all want to know, come on.” Paul, looking aghast, shook his head vehemently. “John. For christsakes, John.”

Peter Ames Carlin, Paul McCartney: A Life

JOHN: So it was always the family thing, you see. If Jane [Asher] was to have a career, then that’s not going to be a cozy family, is it? All the other girls were just groupies mainly. And with Linda not only did he have a ready-made family, but she knows what he wants, obviously, and has given it to him. The complete family life. He’s in Scotland. He told me he doesn’t like English cities anymore. So that’s how it is. MCCABE: So you think with Linda he’s found what he wanted? JOHN: I guess so. I guess so. I just don’t understand… I never knew what he wanted in a woman because I never knew what I wanted. I knew I wanted something intelligent or something arty, whatever it was. But you don’t really know what you want until you find it. So anyway, I was very surprised with Linda. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d married Jane Asher, because it had been going on for a long time and they went through a whole ordinary love scene. But with Linda it was just like, boom! She was in and that was the end of it.

John Lennon, interview w/ Peter McCabe and Robert Schonfeld. (September, 1971)

Random cute things: flirting etc

I remember we were going down to the studio [...] and there was a great crowd pressing against the car. John was sitting in the back and he said, “Push Paul out first. He’s the prettiest.”

Victor Spinetti, in the documentary You Can’t Do That! The Making of ‘A Hard Day’s Night’ (1995).

We were away. The boys had relaxed. As we walked off to do the next scene, I heard them joshing each other, like schoolboys on the way to class. 'Are those jeans tight, Paul?' That was John. 'What do you mean tight?' 'I can see your suspender belt through 'em and your stockings. You've got ladders in them.'

Up Front: His Strictly Confidential Autobiography by Victor Spinetti

“I could even hear what they were saying off-mike; ‘Oh Paul, you’re so cute tonight.’ was met with the reply ‘Sod off, Lennon.’”

Joan Baez on accompanying the Beatles to their concert in Red Rocks Amphitheatre, Denver. 26 August 1964

To Lennon, [Paul] was "cute, and didn’t he know it," a born performer who was also a "thruster" and an "operator" behind the scenes.

Christopher Sandford, Paul McCartney, 2005

In a late wee-hour-of-the-morning talk, he once told me, ‘I’m just like everybody else Harry, I fell for Paul’s looks.”

Harry Nilsson speaking about John Lennon

HARRY: Someone told me a few minutes ago they saw John walking on the street [once] wearing a sign saying – a button, rather, saying ‘I Love Paul’. And this girl who told me that said she asked him, “Why are you wearing the button that says ‘I Love Paul’?” He said, “Because I love Paul.” [laughs]

February 17th, 1984: Harry Nilsson

PAUL: It’s like, uh, “We have to get back.” “We’re on our way home.” JOHN: Yeah. PAUL: There’s a story. There’s another one – ‘Don’t Let Me Down’. “Oh darling, I’ll never let you down.” Like we’re doing— JOHN: Yeah. It’s like you and me are lovers. PAUL: [reserved] Yeah. [pause] JOHN: We’ll just have to camp it up for those two. PAUL: Yeah. Well, I’ll be wearing my skirt for the show, anyway.

Get Back sessions

PAUL: Okay, “two of us riding nowhere” that’s as if…we’re like…two, but then “we’re on our way home”  JOHN: It’s like we’re like a couple of queens. PAUL: Yeah. Well, you know. Well, I mean, that’s…  JOHN: We’re a couple of queens… PAUL: That’s just too bad. Unless you want to get Paul and Paula in. Poetic license, John. JOHN: You’re telling me, Paul.

Get Back sessions

[fuckyeahdindjarin]

Javier's Peña's bulge

Bulge-by-pants analysis: the greatest hits

There's just too much of this bulge to be contained to one post, so there will be one more to come. With so much content to play with, I thought long and hard on how to approach this and landed here. Cos we all appreciate a tight trouser, don't we?

Dark grey jeans: This is one of his best pairs and he wears it several times in season 2. But this scene with the holy trinity, his bulge really pops - even compared to the stiff competition from his partners.

Grey dress pants: Even lurking, half-blurred in the background, the bulge makes its presence felt. These pants are cut so well, it's giving me Dave York bulge vibes.

Khaki dress pants: This is a looser suit that doesn't quite cradle his bulge the way the grey pants do. But with his ridiculous manspreading (is it really necessary, Javier?), you can clearly see the weight of his bulge pressing against the seams.

Mid-blue straight-leg jeans: Look, I know I'm not supposed to but this is the outfit Javi wears for the insanely hot scene where he kicks down Maritza's door and throws a chair. Violence is bad guys, but these jeans are downright sinful - the way they gently cup that gorgeous bulge, and look at that side bulge action - I am unwell. Thank you Maddie @imaswellkid for ID'ing this scene for me ❤️

True blue looser cut jeans: I love this look. I'm distraught that we don't see that jacket again (I don't think we do anyway), and those jeans? They're looser than what he usually wears by some distance but even so the bulge still takes glorious centre stage.

Dark wash jeans: I believe we see these jeans quite a lot. It's more subtle than the lighter washes, but you can't miss that hulking bulge between those legs.

Dark brown pants: These pants don't look like denim to me, maybe a corduroy-ish material? I bookmarked this from one of @the-ginger-hedge-witch posts, so full credit to Ren for bringing this ridiculous bulge to my attention. I mean, it's not even an indescript bulge. You can see the actual business. That's why they had to shoot from a safe distance, any closer to the camera and we'd all simultaneously combust.

True blue boot cut jeans: Oh these fucking pants. Sent to me by @iamskyereads. This one is personal because I have a pair in the exact shade of blue. But look at this - look at the camera work, how it zeroes in on that ridiculous bulge, framed so perfectly by those strong thighs and how it's straining against the zipper.

The ultimate grey jeans: Submitted by @imaswellkid. The sheer amount of bulge in this episode is obscene. But none as obscene as this scene. A still screenshot is needed to fully appreciate the heft of the bulge sitting at the apex of those thighs. How did the camera person not pass out while filming this will forever be a mystery.

Seriously, look at it™.

I don't know about you, but I'm thirsty now and need a cold drink to calm down. More bulge to come.

Related: Frankie’s Bulge

[carigm]

A BREAKDOWN OF THE POTENTIAL S5 EPISODE TITLES!!

Okay, so today entertainment journalist Jeff Sneider shared some alleged insider info about S5 of ST, mainly directors and titles of the first 6 episodes.

Here’s a screenshot

It’s important to keep in mind that this guy isn’t always the most reliable, and considering he also said he believes S5 could come out before the end of this year, let’s not take any of this too seriously. (Many cast members have mentioned they’re filming until December of this year so that’s literally impossible). The information about the possible directors I believe is correct, because it’s been circulating around from other sources too.

The episode titles I’m less convinced about because it’s also possible the Duffers could’ve put out fake episode titles in case they leaked. I remember for S2 all the episodes titles they announced were changed later on lol. But for the sake of fun, here’s an analysis of all of them:

1. The crawl (only confirmed title) is a very broad, open title. It personally makes me think of the UD and vines, or maybe even the idea of Vecna crawling back to life. Could also be an allusion to the military.

2. The Vanishing of ___ Wheeler is arguably the most insane one. The journalist said he wasn’t revealing the actual name of the person because it’s a spoiler ofc. My gut tells me it’s gonna be Holly, mainly because of the recast and her supposedly being involved in the hospital plot, which we have guessed takes place in episode 2. Could explain why she’s suddenly “more important” this season, especially if she’s used as a plot device of sorts. Could also tie into what Ted’s actor said in a podcast back in February about the first episodes being a rollercoaster of emotions, and that comment he made about Ted having a soft spot for Holly. It would be a perfect tie in for Karen to find out about the UD as well. The implications of naming the episode the same as the first episode, which is so intrinsically tied to Will, is very interesting. It’s also a new connection/tie between the Byers/Wheelers that I assume will bring the families closer together. I don’t think it’s about Mike because I doubt he’ll go missing in ep.2, or be dragged to the UD just like Will was. It would be an interesting concept but I doubt it. I also don’t think Nancy’s gonna go missing. Karen could be interesting but I doubt it as well. Ted would be an incredibly funny choice. Imagine he just goes missing while at the house 😭 Nonetheless, I think Holly is the clear choice here, and I do very much worry for her if she goes missing. Mainly because while Will survived this, I’m not sure they’ll do the same for Holly :(

It also ties into Vecna’s threat to Nancy against her and her family.

Here’s an interesting leak from the same anon that leaked the hospital stuff (which seems to be correct)

I think this could be the very same scene Holly goes missing.

3. Turbow Trap 😭 This one is utter nonsense. I have no idea what a Turbow is, so I assume it’s gonna be a code or nickname for something. Absolutely clueless here.

4. Sorcerer is incredibly interesting, and imo a clear allusion to Will. His D&D character being a cleric, basically a wizard. Could also be a reference to Vecna imo. Or both 😉

5. Shock Jock is clearly tied to the radio station plotline. Imo the title could be a reference to Steve, Jonathan, or even Murray (he fits that eccentric, somewhat annoying personality quite well) In case you guys don’t know a shock jock is like a very eccentric radio host.

6. Escape from Camazotz is another crazy title. He’s a figure from Mayan mythology who’s a bat spirit. That immediately makes me think of Eddie, but also Steve ofc. However, camazotz has a larger meaning that goes beyond “bat spirit”, it’s also a representation of death and night. So the title seems to be alluding to someone escaping from death or a perilous situation.

Even more interesting perhaps is that kamazotz is a name of a planet in A Wrinkle Time. It’s the planet where IT resides, the mind controlling antagonist of the narrative. So I guess in this comparison Kamazotz is the UD, and IT is Henry.

[lyril]

johnny & randall analysis / manifesto

in taking a little break from other things and deciding to rewatch monsters, inc., only to then find out about monsters at work on my way there, i've ended up thinking about these guys a lot lately — and since there's not a lot of stuff really digging into these characters, i wanted to share all the thoughts i've had over the past few weeks as an exercise.

as such, this'll be an analysis of johnny and randall's characters in relation to each other and their position as antagonists in the series, as well as how i'd personally go about extrapolating from their dynamic as a fun thing to explore if there was more time to expand upon and rewrite what we got! (as well as just having a little dubiously-healthy relationship fun along the way, you know how it is... give me and inch and i'll take a mile)

to me, the fun of filling in the blanks of them together is about how they've changed so much, and yet so little, falling back into old habits, feelings, and dynamics with an older and modern touch to them.

confused about the line of randall saying him and johnny were "besties"? not to worry, my friends. i got you.

“It’s easy to think that these characters can’t possibly have any depth or feelings because they’re monsters, but they do,” says Crystal. “They’re young men figuring out who they are and what they want in life—and then what life actually has in store for them."

general character / story analysis

all the way back at the beginning, we have the events of monsters university — in my opinion, the movie with the most to chew on in an emotional sense, and the one that really sets the stage for everything that comes after (probably a recommended thing to have as a prequel, to be fair). i want to start off with a few quotes from the art book and production notes about the story's themes...

If Monsters, Inc. was about what happens when a new and strange door opens, Monsters University is about what happens when the door you’ve been headed towards unexpectedly slams shut. It’s a question every one of us has had to deal with at one time or another: What do you do when your dreams run into the roadblocks of real life? (art book)

Producer Kori Rae recalls that when Dan Scanlon decided that the film was really going to be about Mike Wazowski and his story, "he was really attracted to the idea of how we deal with failure. What happens when what we thought we were going to do or who we were going to be changes, and we end up in a totally different place? When you ask someone 'How did you get where you are today?' very seldom do you hear 'I went to school, studied what I planned on studying, and then went immediately into that field of work.' This film delves into that in a really powerful way.” As Scanlon explains, "Mike basically realizes he needs to let go of what he thinks he has to be in order to be great, so that he can make room for what truly makes him great. That is the real story of the film. His friendship with Sulley comes out of that, and Sulley changes and becomes a better person because of that." As it so happens, this arc is not so different from the arc of the story process itself. "You fall in love with these things that you think the story is about, and then you realize the story is about something else," says Scanlon. "Then you have to let go of those things, and it's painful a lot of the time. But, it's always for the best." (art book)

According to the filmmakers, Mike’s story—and the fact that he doesn’t accomplish what he sets out to do—not only makes the story more interesting, it makes it more relatable. “A big part of this film is facing reality,” says story supervisor Kelsey Mann. “Sometimes it’s harsh and unfair, but that’s okay. It just means you were meant to do something else, something that ultimately might be more rewarding." (production notes)

"It’s during these years, whether in college or not, that we tend to learn who we are. And it’s not necessarily who we thought we were." ... "We don’t always get what we want, including life-long dreams. It’s perhaps the hardest lesson for any of us to face, but it’s the benchmark of maturity." (production notes)

"To me, this movie is for anyone who has dealt with failure. We all come face-to-face with it at some point in our lives." ... "I think it’s these missteps and misdirections that make us stronger and make our life’s story more interesting. I love movies that inspire us to believe that if we try hard enough, we can be anything we want. The truth is, sometimes as hard as we try, as much as we believe, things just don’t work out; it happens to all of us. But in hindsight, these 'failures' often turn out to be nothing more than detours leading to wonderful discoveries of a life, a career, a love we never would have thought possible." —Dan Scanlon (art book)

a lot of my thoughts had sparked when reading passages like this, connecting it back to their own character arcs, as we start to pick up on a few questions: how do we deal with failure? what happens when things don't work out, and what we thought we were going to do or who we were going to be changes, and we end up in a totally different place? when the door you’ve been headed towards unexpectedly slams shut? and how do the character's reactions to these things set them apart from each other?

"This is a story about a guy who loves something desperately but can’t have it. So what do you do when that happens, when you can’t have what you want?" —James Robertson, story artist (art book)

“College is the time when we all have so much optimism and confidence that we can change the world. We have dreams and goals. We’re unstoppable. And then reality sets in and we start hitting closed doors. It’s what you do when you hit a closed door—it’s what you do when your dream is shattered that really formulates who you are." —John Lasseter (production notes)

in doing a lot of analysis of the story's themes for me, this is the start of how these characters — mike and randall, sulley and johnny — are foils to each other.

james p. sullivan is a casual, laid-back guy who's just barely skirting by academically, as he believes his natural talent and family name are all he needs to succeed in life. johnny worthington III is already a popular and successful top dog with a legacy of his own to live up to, so he works to maintain his status and fraternity's image no matter the cost. mike wazowski is full of ambition, eager to make his dream of becoming a scarer at monsters, inc. a reality, with the assets at his side being hard work, wit, and determination. and despite his nervous and insecure personality, randall "randy" boggs wants to get in with the popular crowd to get a taste of recognition even if that means going down a different path completely.

breaking them down to the very basics, johnny and sulley are both Cool Guys/Nepo Babies who come from a long line of revered scarers, and who keep their fears, insecurities, and true feelings buried underneath of their outwardly shallow demeanor, while mike and randall are both Nerdy Guys without a lot of friends, making it out alone/together in the world, but with untapped potential and a very personal sense of mission for their years at university. they're each put in very similar positions, where sulley and johnny want to maintain what they have and use that to their advantage, and randall and mike want to surpass what they are into something bigger than themselves. sulley is everything mike wants to be as a natural-born scarer, and johnny is everything randall wishes he could be as the cool, popular guy. at the beginning of the movie, sulley gets paired with johnny, and mike with randall, but they end up swapping by the midpoint — sulley teams up with mike, and randall teams up with johnny. mike and sulley stay together by the end, but johnny and randall are ultimately split up. you get the sense that these duos are meant to be together with how they're divided, and, eventually, the results of everything, and how the characters deal with the prospect of failure color their positions as protagonists and antagonists, respectively.

"When it all goes south, it’s not pretty,” says Rae. “They get kicked out of the Scare Program by the Dean herself and their dreams are crushed. But as fate would have it, they’re forced to work together to make things right. The unlikely bonds they form with a group of misfits, and how they grow—individually and as friends—results in a very funny, very touching story that at its heart is completely relatable to people of almost every age." (production notes)

when mike and sulley get kicked out of the scare program, they're not about to give up just yet. after a lot of hardships, but also unexpected success along the way, they land themselves at the very last event of the scare games, and sulley goes the extra mile to secure a false win through cheating for mike, only for it to be a breaking point for the both of them — it drives mike into doubling down on his ambition, and then into disillusionment at his own inability to achieve what he's been so desperate to reach the entire story, as well as sulley into finally letting down his unaffected façade and admitting he has no idea what he's doing either. he knew how someone like mike would take the loss, after he's worked so hard for everything, but in the end... the measures taken to prevent that from happening only ended up making things worse. at the end of the day, the true victory they get to have is in a personal sense, since they do get kicked out of university and have to continue working hard to get what they want... and they're also to be able to prove something to themselves in an honest accumulation of their efforts, through what they've learned and gone through together despite them not coming out on top. by the end of the movie, they accept their fate in stride — even (especially) mike, who sulley helps to realize that he has other avenues to explore, not just that one defined path he set out so desperately to chase. after they come to terms with the failure they went through together, they're able to grow and become better friends and people because of it, and it doesn't stop them from working as hard and honestly as they can... and eventually, they end up where they are today!

on the other hand... the way johnny and randall take their shortcomings end up being the exact opposite!

getting into it ✨️

JOHNNY WORTHINGTON has reason to be supremely confident—he’s the top Scare student at Monsters University and president of the best fraternity on campus, Roar Omega Roar (RΩR). Voiced by Nathan Fillion, Johnny comes from a long line of MU Scarers and respects the school’s legacy, traditions and most of all, the system by which Scaring excellence is judged. He may have been born with a silver spoon in his jaws, but this monster’s no softie. (production notes)

"Johnny runs RΩR, so if the look of the house is designed around any one character, it's him. The RΩR interior gives you this feeling of tradition and entitlement, sort of 'Don't touch anything.' [There are] walls of trophies, walls of history, and pictures of past classes. It should give you the feeling that Johnny has something to lose, too. It's not just Mike and Sulley who have things at stake. Johnny has a tradition to live up to, and he's afraid of failing." (art book)

"[He] was probably raised by a dad who was a real jerk to him, who 'didn't raise a loser', where winning's the most important thing..." —Nathan Fillion (interview)

it's that idea of success, of staying on top and maintaining that image, position, and legacy that came before him that has shaped his worldview and that johnny's character is all about. for johnny, to not live up to tradition is failure.

johnny worthington already had it made by the time he was born, clearly growing up wealthy and with connections in life lined up for him in advance, where even in school he's popular and well-liked for his highly-ranked natural talents and "charming" personality, despite still being a shallow, manipulative asshole at heart... and all he has to do is to hold on to that silver spoon, which is at the same time, is a lot of pressure on his shoulders...

and with so much importance put on appearances, it's his tendency to read books by their cover that leads him to completely underestimate what mike and sulley are capable of together in monsters university. an emphasis is put on how big of a deal it'll be if RΩR loses the scare games to a team of underdogs like OK, since, as mike puts it... no one will ever let him forget it. not only does he care a lot about maintaining that status as top dog, but he wants to ensure nothing gets caught up in the process, as he takes precautions earlier in the story by putting sulley's place in RΩR on hold until he can live up to what he says he is... and when it comes to OK's unexpected success throughout the scare games, there's a sense of him starting to feel threatened, which leads to pulling stunts like the "cute-ma kappa" prank. johnny goes out of his way to try and take them down a peg through methods like "cutting remarks, taking shots at [their] confidence, and humiliation," as nathan fillion puts it in regards to johnny's more "insidious" bullying techniques. we don't get a lot of time to linger on how he takes the "loss" in the end (other than it very clearly shaking his entire world) before he later goes to offer sulley his position back, and then is rejected even further. what i enjoy very much about the situation is how RΩR didn't actually lose to OK, on account of sulley's cheating — it's just enough for it to appear as if they do for a while and to make an impact on johnny at first, and it kind of leads to a perfect uncertainty of how he really takes things in the end... even if he's no sore loser on the surface.

and i think it makes a lot of sense in how exactly johnny's changed over the years when we see him again in monsters at work. on the outside, it absolutely looks as if he's now humbled, as if maybe that sliver of defeat put enough of a number on him... and yet on the inside is someone still clinging to the importance of the legacy he has to maintain. i don't think johnny is heartless by any means — it's not like he's been nefariously plotting over the last 20 years or anything, as he's already set and successful as a CEO as well as a husband, a father, a family man and a charitable force of his community... and in a lot of ways, he has changed, softened around the edges, and is living life as everyone else is... right?

after knowing him first in monsters inc., we can easily see through sulley's character in monsters university where the façade ends and james p. sullivan begins, as he's long grown past the need for something like that, paving the way for him as the kind-hearted and humble guy he is today... and johnny, on the other hand...? over the years, it seems to have become a little hard to tell where exactly that point is, of what part of the act is really "johnny" under all of that flourish, benevolence, and self-restraint. with how he would play it up in university, it was quite obvious for him too that he was putting on a show... and yet now the moments in and out of it are few and far between, where it almost feels as if the mask is glued on until he gets pushed to his furthest point, only showing cracks of a different face... and in all that time, johnny clearly has been honing his skills — a constant performance with anyone and everyone, polished to perfection even with whom he lets in on his little scheme. as a businessman, i think it makes sense that his manipulative tendancies never really went away, as that's something that would benefit him a ton. he's come to veer out of "smarmy" and back around again into "charming", with less of that outward swagger and leaning even more into the extra subtle approach — he's a lot more down to earth even when he's still got that glint in his eye. a picture of performative altruism, yet is still doing good nonetheless... and it sort of puts him in a strange position of everything he does being simultaneously fake and real and the same time, superficial in an all-new way. how much is what he said to tylor is true, especially when he does have genuine reason to see himself in him, to respect the scaring legacy and see how tylor's potential is being wasted? what would johnny with no filter on a regular day even look like? how much does randall see, or even claire, or his kids? who even is johnny worthington, really...?

and i have to wonder if there's a fundamental issue in how johnny approaches the world, of someone born with a silver spoon in his mouth — really honing in on that nepotism of someone very privledged, and how his background in an environment like that might've shaped him in ways like this. and when his prize jewel is threatened — the precious legacy of what came before — that's when he starts to act again, all under the cover of the rock solid image he's created...

with laugh power on the rise, johnny has to think about what it would mean to adjust to a changing world, of something so far off the path you're on, to start from the ground up in a completely different way for the greater good in terms of both efficiency and in a moral sense... and of what it would mean for his company, of the kind of light it would paint him in within the world he's grown up in (a lot of very relevant political views we get a peek of in the whole laugh power vs scream power debate!) and what we know of the looming figures of those that came before him — monsters who are very clearly not made for being jokesters. considering what we know about him, and the lessons we never actually get to see him learn and grow from... the choice he'll make is clear. for a guy like johnny, there's no easy surrender to something like that. all of this is a lot bigger than little competitions in university. laugh power may as well be the future (and boy, does he know it!) but it's scare power that made his family business what it is. and there's a resurgence of image first and foremost when it comes to the underhanded way he goes about it, where whatever's going on behind the scenes (such as outright stealing laugh power sources from monsters, inc. and with a total disregard for the moral side of it all) may as well not be relevant as long as that outside picture is kept clean and the appearance of tradition is being maintained, which makes it very clear where exactly his priorities lie.

(even someone like waternoose almost had a more benevolent goal at the end of the day — everything he did may have been something he was doing for the sake of his company, but it was also for his people, to quite literally "keep the lights on" all while he really did care about monsters like sulley! i'm willing to bet that if laugh power had been effectively realized in his time, he wouldn't have even needed to do all that, as it all seems like a "desperate measures call for desperate solutions" thing... while johnny is a lot more concerned with holding onto what's already his, for his own sake, rather than everyone else's — at the end of the day, he doesn't actually care about the city's power situation at all... he really plays into the weight of the "family business" side of it all.)

"One of the themes in [Monsters University] is seeing a person’s hidden value—a skill Johnny certainly lacks. He takes people at face value, and he’ll never know them. That’s a hurdle Mike and Sully have to overcome with one another." —Nathan Fillion (production notes)

a core of him remains the same, still concerned with image and legacy, and possibly still... "unable to see people for what they're really worth", as what's described as his fatal flaw in the monsters university days. i've been trying to wrap my head around what it means to say that exactly, as clearly, he can see through people well enough to manipulate anyone well enough, to even pick at their spceific weak spots and see why they may be useful to him, all to exploit that as he pleases... maybe tylor and randall are just particularly easy marks for him, or maybe that is the point of it all. i have to wonder if it's because he sees most people — not just tylor as part of the plan — in terms of what they can do for him, and how they and the relationships he forms can be used to help further his own goals and agenda, since... he's sort of been doing that for a long time now. business as usual, you could say. a very transactional measurement of worth, always looking out for the best of the best, but it leading to still missing key features in people's MO as he's still biased in his own certain ways. and to be fair... that is sort of how relationships work in general. we're both here because we get something out of it, even if it's for something as simple as companionship... yet i can imagine it as being a lot more mechanical, calculated, and in focus for someone like johnny, when he's never not playing 5D chess. he may act friendly with everyone, but i bet there's a degree of distance between the relationships johnny has with his employees and the ones sulley and mike do.

over the course of monsters university, the trait as johnny's fatal flaw — maybe improved upon over the years, maybe not — plays into his downfall, as another theme of the movie (as well as carried on into monsters at work) is about seeing people's hidden strengths beyond what they appear — and so he completely underestimates mike and his team. in monsters at work, i get the feeling they're playing with that again on purpose, a testament to how he hasn't really changed, by still falling victim to the same motivations as before.

as self serving as it seems... throughout the season, we do get to see through his company and characters like rosie how it's not just him grappling with these changing times, but a lot of people — and that's why a very similar thing is reflected in tylor, who is dealing with the same situation! tylor has graduated college, expecting to go down the path of scaring, only for the rug to be torn out from underneath of him. ("what happens when things don't work out, and what we thought we were going to do or who we were going to be changes, and we end up in a totally different place?") tylor is face to face with changing times, threatening to completely upheave what he knows, forcing him into and to consider situations he isn't sure he's meant for, and he's struggling to adjust to the path and new world around him... and when johnny is already on his way to push back against that narrative, that's why his story gets intertwined with tylor's — they're in a similar predicament, and that's also why he reminds him of himself, playing into the "you can't escape who you are, so embrace it" angle (something i bet he really does believe when it's his father who told it to him) all while narratively, everything in the season plays with the motifs that both movies have explored. ("what happens when the door you're heading towards unexpectedly slams shut?" and "what happens when a new door opens?") and yet... we know tylor's here to be manipulated, and has been picked out from the start. tylor's worth to him in all of that is (primarily) measured by that role, where in the heat of the moment, he even says himself the only thing he can see tylor being good for is a pawn on his chessboard... and i think it's (part of) why it looks like johnny is written a little "stupid" in the finale episodes, in that they're trying to play with this weakness of his. johnny overestimates everything he's done to tylor, through severing all those ties, appealing to his own ego, giving him a reason to come crawling back to him and him only... he thinks he's got tylor fully hooked and already reeled in, and maybe for anyone else, that plan would've worked out flawlessly, but... tylor is our ProtagonistTM. he doesn't understand what tylor would even have left to his name, how his moral code may be shaken awake in scaring a kid he knows, how his friendships could prevail despite it all... all of these things that make tylor ultimately still sympathetic and able to turn things back around, even when he's fallen so hard for johnny's bait and in such an awful situation. johnny may be good at this game, but he's not an expert, and he still doesn't fully see tylor, only what he picks out in him, what's useful to him... and how much does that extend to everything else in his life?

as the head of fearco., of course johnny is still stuck in that old mindset and fear of failure when he's got even more at stake — he's always trying to stay one step ahead, using his position to keep control of what he's afraid of and manipulating the people around him and their circumstances. in a lot of ways, johnny is a bit different now, but we know that he never really went down a path of acceptance, to start to let go of the fear he has, so he's the same old johnny at heart, even if under a slightly different cover... and what better to lead him down the path he's on?

(compare all of this to sulley, who, in contrast, feels like he's moreso capitalizing off of his family name, rather than it really being what's at stake for him... and in his situation, who is able to move past the crushing idea of having to live up to what came before him, to be more true to himself, and to help embrace the new path forward, not only in terms of efficiency for his own people, but for everyone, as he embraces the laugh power and monsters, inc.'s new CEO...!)

Monsters University freshman RANDY BOGGS has big aspirations for college life. The peculiar lizard-like monster with his host of gangly arms and legs plans to major in Scaring and lead an active social life filled with fun, friends and fraternity parties. “He’s not the Randall that we know from ‘Monsters, Inc.,’” says Steve Buscemi, who once again provides the voice of the iconic character. “He’s a little insecure and he wants to fit in, so he works toward pledging the coolest fraternity.” Story supervisor Kelsey Mann says he thinks audiences will be surprised to see Randall’s humble beginnings. “He’s super happy and positive. And, just like Mike, he’s always dreamed of becoming a Scarer.” He certainly seeks inspiration. One of Randall’s most memorable lines from “Monsters, Inc.” finds its way into the prequel. Hanging above Randy’s bed is an inspirational poster that reads “Winds of Change.” Audiences will get the inside scoop on just what sparks Randy’s competitive spirit—but the future top Scarer at Monsters, Inc. will first need to get his embarrassing disappearing habit under control, because Randy’s not sure how he’ll ever be a great Scarer if nobody can see him. (production notes)

"In Monsters, Inc. Randall has a real problem with Sulley and being second-best to him. So we thought, let’s see that happen for the first time in this movie, in a big public event. That’s why we have Sulley and Randy go head-to-head in the final competition." (art book)

as of now, randall doesn't actually have as much screentime as johnny does to talk about — although, his time may very well be coming soon! even with the amount he does have, i think randall also shines especially well in his response to failure.

in the midst of humble beginnings, randall "randy" boggs is a sweet guy, although a bit naïve on top of being timid and insecure as someone who hasn't really figured out his place in life. at the bottom of the food chain, he wants to fit in and get in with the cool, popular crowd, the people who have already had it made.

by the last half of monsters university, randy's finally gotten what he's wanted — he's in with the "cool kids", he's getting attention and recognition as they push through ahead with his dream team in the scare games... until his match-up with sulley, where he accidentally messes up randy's camouflage and therefore his scare attempt, which ultimately ends up getting him kicked out of RΩR. we see earlier in the movie how embarrassment is something he wants to avoid ("if i do that in scaring class, i'll be a joke!" and "whoops! that could've been embarrassing...") so to top it all off, it's also in an utterly humiliating, public moment. not only is this is randy's big taste of failure, but he also gets something very important taken from him, severing that chance, those connections, everything he was aiming for by no fault of his own... and what he's left with is a grudge, where in his own inability to accept and move on from the event, it digs its claws in deep. he may say that'll be the last time he'll ever lose to sulley, but we know randall goes on to lose to him over and over and over again — and it ruins him!

by the time of in monsters, inc. randy has continued down the path he was already on the way to, molding himself into a completely petty, spiteful and arrogant jerk. as randall, he's a loner who runs hot and cold, where he's got that sleazy underhanded smugness, but is also incredibly tempermental and becomes hot-headed and irritated on a dime, especially when he lets his ego get the best of him... he's got a no-nonsense tolerance for stupidity, but still finds time to be snarky and play it up every once in a while. he's grown the confidence he wished he could've had before, and now he's the one bossing the nerds (fungus) around. with an unrelenting and ambitious ruthlessness to him, randall is one lizard who never learned his lesson. he's still trying to climb to the top, not only to beat sulley, but to have him beneath him... all over something that happened so long ago!

when it comes to randall's motivations, and between him and sulley, there's a bit of a "chicken or the egg" situation in monsters, inc. where you wonder if the personal aspect of despising what sulley has done (and in his eyes is continuing to) to him and wanting to put him in his place once and for all or the desire to be #1 is more important, but they're pretty much intertwined... with a lean in the personal direction, in my opinion.

at the end of the scare games, it's only sulley who messes everything up for him, and he decides that he'll never lose to him ever again — not just in general, but specifically to sulley, and that's something he keeps with him for a very, very long time. throughout monsters, inc., there's definitely a very personal way he goes about his competitiveness and interacting with him, where he won't so much as offer him a friendly handshake. when he talks to mike about revolutionizing the scaring industry, he even singles out how it'll finally make sullivan beneath him, and when he gets banished — kicked out, you could say! — he states that's what he deserves, anyway... for what, exactly? when waternoose tells him how sulley, the guy he treats like a son, is twice the scarer he'll ever be, you can tell that really gets to him. even the way he talks about him is very off-topic ("you stupid, pathetic waste!"), and after all... "you still think this is about that stupid scare record?"

to be fair, though, the goal of his from the beginning was to cruise with the popular crowd, so clearly that's a big factor in everything, but what we see just makes you think that he wouldn't be nearly as crazy about everything if it wasn't james p. sullivan on top, always being second best to him, the guy who ruined everything for him in the first place. he's clearly a man of grudges and petty revenge... and yet, if it's just attention or achievement he wants, he's already crazy high on the scoreboards which isn't a bad spot to be in at all! he's still excelling in his field (i do wonder if his awful personality gets in the way of attention) and yet that isn't enough, he's never satisfied even when he would be getting the very thing he wants, because it's sulley he has to take down once and for all in order to prove he's the best... and he loses, and he loses, and he loses.

especially with everything that happens in monsters, inc., it's no surprise to anyone that randall is back in the way he is for monsters at work, even more hellbent on getting revenge against mike and sulley, except this time with the connection that had been lost to him before... and who knows how everything will turn out next time?

(mike is an ambitious over-achiever from the start, and yet, even as stubborn as he is, he eventually realizes the worth in his true callings and is able to start a new journey. on the other hand, randall's persistance paints him as someone who never learned when to quit... even for his own good.)

for both of these characters, the message is clear: "It’s what you do when you hit a closed door—it’s what you do when your dream is shattered that really formulates who you are." to not face the reality of everything... look at where it's left them.

as we can see, it's in mike and sulley's ability to humble themselves after everything and to eventually accept, learn from, and move on from the failure they go through even when it changes the trajectory of the journey they're on, that they find their strengths by the end of monsters university, leaving the doors open for new paths ahead of them... and when we see them again, johnny and randall are still caught up in long unresolved hang-ups and shortcomings and stuck with old problems/habits that never really went away in the first place. as long as they persistently hold onto the past (in randall's case) and in maintaining control over what they fear losing the most, unable to move on in a different way (in johnny's case), it's these kinds of things that prevent them from growing and from facing the reality of everything, as they only go on to become the bad people they are today... all that is what drives them as antagonists — their reaction is anti-thetical to the story's themes and messages.

and now that we know the characters and their deal, what about how their stories intertwine with one another's...?

dynamic in university

before we get into my thoughts about johnny and randall in the present, let's go back to the start again, to the time spent together at university. (with the days between the scare game events that we see, under the assumption that most of them were spaced at least a bit evenly, i like to think randy was in RΩR for about a month... give or a take a week or so.)

"stay outta trouble, wild man."

we never get to see how johnny became how he is, but it's not too hard to figure out how it happened. on the other hand, we get to know firsthand how randy transforms, and the moment we first meet him actually says a lot! when randy accidentally uses his camouflage ability in front of mike, we can see that he's uncertain and self conscious about it until mike tells him what he thinks, commenting on how he could pull it off if only he didn't have the glasses to give it away. and even with something as small as that interaction, the guy just... stops wearing his glasses altogether, even though he (clearly) needs them to see! of course, this is a fun retcon explanation of why randall is always squinting as he does (along with all the other ways the dialouge here is ironic considering what later becomes of him) but it's also something that almost immediately gives off the sense of him as a young, impressionable guy who's easily influenced by other people... it's just kind of funny to think about how he'd willingly make life harder on himself on the evaluation of someone he just met, if it means he can pull off a neat trick of all things, isn't it? and it makes sense as we learn about how he wants to get in with the popular crowd, the "cool" kids, in the chance of finally being accepted and recognized, to get the attention and power he's never really had, and to get a sense of being seen in an active and fun social life.

we see randy go from someone who always faded into the background, a bit nervous about being invisible, and after a shift of perspective... now he's adapting to and changing himself to blend in to what's around him, and in order to cover up what he once was in the process, randy sheds his former skin. (he's not beating the lizard boy allegations, i'll tell you that.)

everything leads to him falling in with the wrong crowd, and as he's welcomed into RΩR, he begins to pick up on the sort of attitude and behavior he feels he needs to "fit in" — he turns on his friend mike, he joins in on the cruel pranks they pull, and his mindset starts to change...!

The ROAR OMEGA ROAR fraternity is made up of the best of the best. They’re the smartest, most skilled, scariest monsters at Monsters University, and come from families with a long, proud history of Scaring. While the RΩRs may be preppy in dress, they are ferocious in action and downright ruthless if necessary. Self-declared as the most elite house on campus, the RΩRs are lead by Johnny Worthington who presides over the house like an all-powerful monarch. Eager to continue their Scare Games winning streak, the RΩRs will do whatever it takes to stay on top. (production notes)

the fact that johnny let him into RΩR at all is fascinating/a little wild, cus he's still got that nervous, nerdy disposition at the start, and it feels as if he absolutely doesn't have the attitude to fit in with them especially when johnny is all about appearances... so i have to wonder what happened to land him in this position in the first place! (and i'll be honest — what we actually see of them in the movie and in general isn't really all that interesting, since a lot of it is either off-screen or the plot is busy covering other, more important stuff in its runtime rather than giving them much of a chance to shine... but that's why we're here right now, to speculate on that dynamic. and because i'm insane!) (it's also not something we're even supposed to think about too hard, but when do i let THAT stop me?)

the question here is definitely about what he can get out of having someone like randy on the team, in what he can use him for, and in a way, it sort of has the same energy as getting asked out as a joke... i can imagine the rest of the RΩRs were pretty skeptical at first, so for johnny to reassure them he knows what he's doing is fun to think about, although... i'd also expect some backhanded comments comparing him to sulley in his time there — a little salt in the wound for later. given how it's randy's ability to "camouflage" that got him into all of these situations, good and bad, i like to think he accidentally managed to scare johnny with it at some point, and while randy's response was to panic because he just bumped into Johnny Worthington III... it's still something that does catch his attention and he thinks it's a cute enough trick. outside of being a little one-trick wonder for them, i could also imagine he noticed randy's association with mike and purposefully had an eye on him for that reason, in a similar fashion to how johnny plays with tylor's relationships in monsters at work, where he picks tylor specifically to turn him against val in the softball game and put another bad mark on their relationship status ("y'know, i sorta had trouble figuring out which team you were REALLY playing for...") and all that... even the fact that randy is willing to switch sides on a dime at the offer (something that tylor certainly takes a while on) is all johnny needs to hear. with the scare games coming up, and having just lost sulley on the team, i can also imagine he might be a little desperate...

after all, randy is a pretty rounded guy — he's still doing well academically, while he also isn't as much of a stick in the mud as mike is, yet we see he's already got the potential to be scary in utilizing his camouflage, and... he's also easy to manipulate, eager and even desperate to do anything if it means he gains the approval of someone like johnny...!

and johnny is playful in such an alluring way, and even if other characters like mike can very clearly see the fakeness in johnny's demeanor, he's outwardly "kind" enough for a naïve randy to truly mistake it as all genuine, and can't help but to be easily drawn in by johnny's charm. i can imagine him getting kind of teased in there without even realizing it but johnny a bit facetiously getting others to back off a bit, which leaves an impression on him... on the outside, it kinda looks like johnny's taking him under his wing, but for the most part... it's more like johnny playing with his prey. a test run on using people as he does nowadays. a little pet... of course, all of this to randy? to not only be noticed, but also picked out of everyone else by someone like johnny worthington...? what a sweet taste of validation. no one like johnny has ever recognized or noticed him, and to seriously give him a chance. maybe he wasn't as socially awkward or as much of a loser as he thought he was! randy genuinely wants to impress johnny, to hold the attention he gets from him, to feel like he's accepted and truly part of the crew, and even be... friends...?

i want him to be fascinated with johnny, to idolize him, of the symbol of what he stands for, of what he has to teach him and of what randy has to learn from everything. after all, johnny's always been everything randall wishes he could be, both past and present — johnny is confident (as he compliments mike on), suave, and talented, already set-up at home and in his future career paths, he's got power and endless attention/validation and all that through his popularity... truly, he's the "coolest" of the "cool" kids.

and if this is what he wants, with johnny included in the mix... i want to highlight that, to carry it on and see how it'll change in the present time. in this way, you kind of concentrate a dynamic and person into symbolizing a desire, and warp it into something else, which inherently makes it a little... dangerous to chase. and i feel like it's something that makes a lot of sense of what could exist off-screen, y'know?

(in designing my gijinkas for these guys, i give johnny a classic slick-backed hairstyle, only for randall's monsters, inc., design to mimic it along with a popped collar for himself — a carrying over of that inspiration in a subtle way, where you might not even notice unless you put them side by side. i see a lot of people design randall as a bit more formally-uptight, but in my opinion the vibe he gives off is definitely a "corporate sleazy wannabe cool-guy" rather than just "office worker")

even with as brief of a time as he's with the RΩRs, i love thinking of what he must've picked up from it all... in order to stick around, he's got to play johnny's game by johnny's rules, lest the idea of getting kicked off hovers over his head damocles-style. to start as a baseline for his personality shift, all then compounded with his growing cynical bitterness and with his grudge piling on itself over the years. he seems pretty straight-laced when we meet him, after all — the guy starts out trying to get in with the crowd by making them cupcakes of all things, which may be very cute, but it seems a little off of the target demographic he's aiming for... and it's fun thinking of them engaging in a lot more rowdy and mature of things than he's used to (congrats to randy on the first underage drinking experience) since he's also the freshman to a lot of their seniors. even when he is finally in with them, a lot of his body language throughout the movie is still very nervous/to himself, so it's fun to imagine him trying despite that to imitate their behavior and join in on the chaos... to give him a little bit of experience. (honestly, he's so susceptible to peer pressure at this point he might as well be on an ad campaign talking about it...)

i've also played around with the idea of randy being offered to rejoin RΩR after sulley turns down johnny at the end of the movie, because i absolutely would love for him to have more time in there, but i think the idea actually takes away from the impact of things a Lot... the point of things here is that randall feels personally victimized by having something taken away from him, as if he's truly LOST everything here, by no fault of his own... since, at this point in time, johnny is also a lot more shallow in his judgements, so i feel like randall's place in humiliating them and in being the "weak link" of the team means i find it hard to believe that johnny would ever let him back in, but, as i said... i've still played around with an avenue for it anyway. i can imagine he got teased for the incident for a long time, and bringing it up in present day would REALLY hit a nerve...

and by the end of things, he's under the impression that johnny genuinely thought he was on the same level as everyone else, and how it's sulley's fault — all from one little slip up — that his dreams were ripped from him... and maybe, that randy and johnny were even... friends...!

dynamic in monsters at work

i'll start off this part of the essay by saying i don't really enjoy how they've written randall in monsters at work so far. there's a certain balance of his character that feels off to me. and they do sort of accomplish the energy he has (the voice is also really throwing me off) but they also really play up his general snarky attitude/mischievousness in a way that's written really... lame. it's not good! i think he'll need to have more screentime to really say for sure how well they've done him overall, and as usual, the fault is more in the execution of the ideas rather than in the ideas themselves. the actual building blocks they've given me are very interesting, as we'll see, and i really hope the writers step up their game again and know what they're doing with him if they give us another season... on the other hand, i think how they've written johnny is nearly perfect, as i feel like it's a very logical continuation of his character, and the way they ramp up his subtle manipulation is excellent. there's so much to him that looks completely normal on the surface, and is enough to effortlessly fool the viewer if they're not paying attention, but is all apart of the long game and absolutely woven in there tightly if you're looking close enough. and when johnny's character has circled around so well into utilizing the original unresolved motivations he had in mind from the start — of wanting to maintain the legacy before him — personally, i feel like it's only fair for randall's character to do the same in a new, twisted way, as neither of them continue to learn their lessons... and if you're gonna pair them up again, how the past affects them now is an utterly unavoidable topic, so i'm going to LoseTM my mind if johnny's relationship and influence on him never comes up again in a future randall storyline.

even so, i think we can all agree that the way johnny and randall meet up was completely fumbled, and it's something i would adjust and change to be completely different if i could. sulley and mike were able to find their way out of banishment just fine, and randall could easily do the same by finding another door eventually. (i've heard someone suggest that johnny was just happening to be scaring at the time and randall is interpretating it as johnny outright coming to save him, and as much as i love that sort of thinking for randall, as we'll see, i still think that's a bit too unclear and coincidental...) i have no idea of a better alternative at the moment of writing this, though. EDIT: i do like this as a starting point!

all that aside, what is actually going on in their relationship here, anyway?!

we're going to have to wait and see, but i can imagine a world in which the writers take a route of randall having planned to backstab johnny in some way, and i feel like something like that is... predictable. maybe he's secretly wanting to get back at johnny for underestimating him. maybe his tendency to go so far he loses track of the whole point of it all has him lean even further into the desire to be #1 and eventually wants someone like johnny beneath him too, under his control. maybe there's an echo of competitiveness, where mike and sulley lift each other up, johnny and randall end up tearing each other down. i don't know! and yet, the way this all of this plays out, with johnny now in jail, doesn't really leave any room for anything like this to actually go and happen in front of us at least...

and really, it all depends on what randall's goal even is at this point — as i've talked about in the past sections, i get the feeling how in his case it may actually be more about the personal grudge and response to those who've wronged him, and the following desire to put them in their place once and for all. especially after monsters, inc., he's very much honing in on the revenge angle before anything else and will be especially going forward, which, at this point... could use some spice to it, y'know? (<- scared)

i also can't buy the idea that they would secretly hate each other, and especially not outwardly so. i think it's only natural for them to get on each other's nerves a bit as part of the dynamic, even if just through their natural clash of methods and attitudes — randall's got an awful temper, so he'll be complaining no matter who he's with, but johnny is also incredibly good at maintaining his cool as he wants to keep people wrapped around his finger... still, if sulley mike fight like an old married couple, they should too. i think part of the fun in them together is how randall is usually the straight man in a lot of his other dynamics, such as with mike or even fungus, but when paired up again with johnny he's got a great opportunity to be the one reeled back in, which we don't usually get to play with... and so they complement each other in a fun way. short fuse vs almost unshakable demeanor, openly hostile vs openly friendly, defensive, fragile ego vs genuine confidence...

we've also got a final question here in terms of "using" one another, and what they have right now is a mutually beneficial situation — an already established "you scratch my back, i'll scratch yours" deal. johnny's clearly looking for a good asset in randall, which is enough for him to consider a team up, and randall is looking for a good way to get revenge on monsters, inc., so working in johnny's overarching scheme is great on that. so in a way, of course they're "using" each other! (it's also fun to think about how they must really enable each other to not be able to really grow past their issues and into better people, very unlike what mike and sulley's friendship does for them, as the goal of everything is both of their hangups intertwined as they're stuck chasing the past... if the storyline goes on, it's only going to be more of randall refusing to let go)

okay, okay, okay — so if randall wasn't planning to backstab him for any reason, and they don't secretly hate each other, and they really did just happen to be working together in the awareness of a mutually beneficial relationship, then...

we have a guy who believes johnny went out of his way to save him (with the fact that he apparently cares enough to help him out at all being notable in itself) and now they've been working together since he "owes him one" (a doubtfully binding contract for mister randall boggs, I Know What You Are). randall is written as extra mischievous, even to the point of being kind of juvenile about it... and to top it all off, he thinks him and johnny were friends in college, actively referencing that period in their lives. joined at the hip. besties. when all of this is coming from a guy who's held a grudge for the past 20 years over the incident that severed the connection they had in the first place, and when we take the rest of the concepts i've been building up to for the entire post, doesn't it all just scream a regressive denial of the past?! if the whole "besties" thing isn't just a weird side-effect of bad writing (and really, i would like to trust the writers here...) i feel like there's a perfect avenue here???

i wouldn't be surprised if any of this was how they went about it, and we know what his main focus is at the end of the day, but it's the idea of randall genuinely still wanting johnny's praise and approval, companionship, and to be his little henchman again in this era that appeals to me the most to play around with.

think about how much value must be placed on what happened at the scare games for it to domino effect so hard into what he is now, after all this time! and its just so... wonderfully naïve of him. randall, who's a cynic, now jaded beyond recognition of what he once was and practically a different person these days, a loner and an asshole with no real connections anymore... who still can't resist the craving of a connection, and deep inside it all, still has a piece of what randy wanted in his heart... all through his boss, johnny — in part the starring idol symbolization of past aspirations, something he's lost but has now reclaimed, the only person who could ever hope to understand him, all wrapped up into someone deviously charming as he is... isn't that compelling? an opportunity like this, where he can work together with johnny worthington and also get his revenge on monsters, inc. at the same time... it's all coming up RANDALL! i want to take his character, put him in a container, shake him around, and tell him You Are Not Immune To Very Real Human Emotions regardless of how self aware he is about it. it kind of takes things back around in a satisfying way for me, where despite how much they've changed, they fall back into a similar, yet different dynamic, in which old habits die hard. i think it'd be so interesting to really play it up!

despite the mutual awareness of the relationship, there's still a very recurring imbalance here as there was before, where johnny's his boss, and randall is the henchman... and if randy really does still think they're friends above all else, and the part of him despising being second-best is still relevant in a general sense, that opens up a lot of fun perception-shattering paths...

my favorite tidbit about the two is how they address each other — johnny is on a first-name basis with nearly everyone, as it's apart of his own personal brand of manipulation in his openly friendly and casual demeanor to open up a sense of familiarity, in order to keep other people's guards down. on the other hand, randall calls people by their last names, usually dripping with scorn while he's at it (fungus, sullivan, wazowski...) and yet, with each other... it's the complete opposite. we only ever see johnny refer to him as "boggs", again, despite even his other employees being first-named, and randall calls him a more familiar and respectful "johnny" in return, despite him being his boss, which is... an absolutely insane detail that i hope stays intact, because what the fuck. when johnny is as calculated as he is about stuff like this, very purposefully insisting on that first-name basis, to call randall of all people "boggs"... i like to compare it to how one might withhold a kiss from someone nonverbally asking for it. a little ah ah ah. despite how close they may get otherwise, it's a tool of leverage, a way of keeping him at arms length all the same... he knows randall wants something like that, but he doesn't let him have it. (although, i'm thinking about the idea of him on a very special occasion calling him Randall, maybe even a Randy to butter him up/get something from him/keep him from doing something impulsive because it really gets at his attention...)

and i think that kind of sets the scene for how i imagine randall is more invested in this than he is, as he always has been... randall truly addresses him like a friend after the introduction, referencing the past in a pretty notable way, and yet johnny sticks to the formality...?

you still got it, boggs!

even so, i also want to avoid the bit of overlap with chet's situation, who still feels completely unacknowledged by johnny. i've always thought it was a bit weird that johnny's front isn't extended to chet, so i have to wonder if he's always been a bit of a subtle punching bag, an outlet for annoyance, since he knows — or rather, thinks — that after all of this time, chet won't stand up for himself or leave no matter what he does, even when he doesn't really care for him all that much. and i don't think that extends to randall at all... with how johnny responds to him going up to jumpscare tylor, where he shoves chet off of him and then immediately goes to play it up and throw a bit of praise in randall's way... i can imagine he gets a bit of special treatment! even the loyal chet wouldn't get to drink afterhours with johnny in his stupid mancave. (imagine the jealousy angle they could've played up here... maybe even with tylor and randall too? he'd fucking HATE tylor's ass...)

i have to admit, i am a little too obsessed with the idea i proposed earlier of randall as being like johnny's little "pet" and enjoying it as such. after all, they must've been working together for quite a while now, and randall would honestly be REALLY good at being the evil cat on the villain's lap... he should put that on his resume or something, because he's gonna do such a good job at being johnny's henchman, something both normal to want and possible to achieve. curling up to him for attention and praise, and johnny keeping him close as company on top of it as someone he can really let everything in on... like a confidante of sorts. a best friend. a... silly little lizard. (randall is this comic to me)

while i do keep getting a bit mad at the writing for him in the show, it's also kind of hilarious how petty and juvenile the stunts randall pulls are, even if i don't think he's nearly as sly as he should be. in monsters, inc., he absolutely is a little impish, as well as insanely petty... but is overall still trying to keep on the down-low and be cautious about everything, openly scolding fungus the whole movie. and yet, i do genuinely adore the idea of him being more excitable, unhinged, and mischievous when he's working with johnny, sort of bringing him back around to those glory days, chasing old highs... even getting kind of playful, which is another side of him we don't really get to use very often. maybe even... a bit happy for once in his life? C'mon, Johnny, it'll be just like we used to!

i can imagine him wanting johnny to see him in a new light and validate what he's become once and for all, as if to say, Look at me, Johnny — I've gotten rid of my ooey-gooey interior just like you wanted! You'll take me back now, right? he's not that same nervous young guy from before, still in the process of leaving his old pink-and-white polka-dotted hearts self behind... now he's a capable and underhanded perfect henchman for the job, now he's off the rails, and he's still got something to prove all over again, since... apparently, his ego's not as rock-solidly immovable as he thinks it is. in fact, in comparison to johnny, his ego is pretty fragile and he can get very sensitive and defensive at times... an echo of not truly having ditched that early insecurity. so when things like praise and bribery are tools in johnny's toolkit, i can imagine him being effective in sort of taming randall at times, calming him down... after all, wouldn't that make it all worth it? deep down, the idea of for real private attention and praise??? from johnny worthington????? now finally being able to appreciate his efforts again, to forgive him and accept him back? the college boy buried inside of him is very satisfied with this situation, to say the least. he finally feels more on johnny's level, less like an apprentice in training, he's got the experience of his own... and that leaves him wide open for johnny to have him wrapped around his finger all over again. (i love a villain who earnestly thinks they've gotten rid of feelings like that, casting aside vulnerability, but in reality there's still a part of them who really hasn't)

and johnny is, in fact, impressed in how he's changed, even if he thinks he could be a little more subtle in his methods. (i can imagine that's something they'd bicker over, of randall bringing back his spoils of victory but johnny wanting him to play it safe... even though, hey, he never gets caught, does he?!)

i really do think it's fun for him to be entertained/amused by having randall around, especially in a world where he's got to keep things a secret from most people in his life and keep things up on friendly terms first and foremost... randall gets to see a side of him that no one else gets to see — not even his family! sure, it was a lot easier back when randall was mild and eager to please, but, in a way, someone who could really bite back brings a bit of excitement to it all... who can tease him in return... y'know, i bet that's part of what makes johnny like claire, except with randall he can still always knock him down a peg if he needs to... and i'll get back to that in a second. the weird fondness that can arise from that shared company, that only they in this position can really have, the lines between being under his thumb and genuine compansionship blurring... is so good to me. even with how convoluted the plan was, they're a real power couple at the end of the day!

in a way, johnny needs randall more than randall needs johnny when it comes to accomplishing what they want... and outside of that is another story. if you think about it, johnny is a LOT more intertwined in randall's arc than randall is in johnny's, when during the recap of things, it was always a lot more about randall's side of it all. johnny could still easily move onto new endeavors, where everything that happened to randall involving RΩR has kind of changed the whole trajectory of his life. johnny could've not even met randall and probably would end up in a similar position as he is...

since, unfortunately... we do have all that about johnny's "fatal flaw". when johnny is the person he is, when randall is the person he is, there's always going to be something off here.

what johnny's looking for is a capable asset, and randall pulls through in that — he's a good henchman at the end of the day, as long as he's a good henchman at the end of the day. johnny's a star figure in randall's past, but randall's shoes could still be filled by anyone else who could do the job better. i do think there's something very transactional about how he goes about the given relationships we see, where he often places a value on people through what they can do for him and how he can use and manipulate them... and that very likely extends to randall, where he is definitely more invested in the personal aspects of it all than johnny is. i can imagine them both underestimating each other, where randall thinks he's capable of turning the tides at any right chance when all's said and done if he wants to (maybe even thinks he's gone a bit soft!) and johnny especially knows he calls the shots around here, with there still always being ways he sees him as the same young and impressionable guy as before...

after all, if randall were to get a redemption arc, he'd have to let go of his grudges, and let go of johnny and what he symbolizes for good... maybe even having tylor confront him and break it to randall that johnny doesn't — and never has — cared about him in the way he wants him to. there's a lot of ways they could still maybe play with that even without johnny actually in the picture, even though imagining otherwise is interesting, and i wish i got more time actually spent with them because if left to my own devices this is what starts happening to me...!

check out how johnny looks at randall when shows up though ⬇️

the claire affair

alright, just for fun and to close everything all off... you probably knew it was coming, but the idea of a sort of weird gay thing going on and/or affair situation between johnny and randall here is pretty funny. not as funny as tylor and johnny, and of course is not something that lasts, but what else do you think i was leading up to present here?

i do think that johnny loves claire, but you kind of have to speculate about them a little bit, y'know? in a narrative sense, i think he's married and has a family and all that in part to make him look better, as if to point at him and say, Look at this guy with his loving wife, maybe he really has changed if he's found someone he loves and she loves him back! Look! They've got a nice little family together! and yet, they do feel a bit thrown in there at random, and i hope claire has a presence at all next season, where we get to see how she reacts to and deals with everything, cus they're going to have to cover what happens to FearCo... or, i would hope so, anyway. (😳)

when it comes to johnny and claire, i like to think with johnny's way of interacting with the world, after everything, it's an attempt for him to be more in tune with these things and really, genuinely try (although maybe not even consciously) to be more Normal about it all... his vices slip through on occasion, but it is just enjoyment of companionship while he's navigating struggling with being genuine and letting walls down and all that, at least part of an attempt at being a better person in all those years of life going on as usual... and yet, when he's always keeping everyone at a distance, there's still just something kind of... intangibly missing in the end? even claire can't really place it, because in the end, everything really is normal enough to not think about it too hard at least. i can imagine he fell for her over the years, maybe after meeting again after college, they got hitched, and even though the honeymoon years were fun, in current times it's almost sort of going through the motions, in a way, for both of them, really. We don't need to think about it too hard, this is what we do, we are a Married Couple, we have a Normal life, i'm satisfied, aren't you satisfied, Claire? We get along, and we like each other, and its Good 👍 its Okay 👍 We are a Normal Family. (and if everything's a secret to them too, no doubt he still puts up a performance with them...)

and yet, she's got her kids at work and is always seen as a unit with them, and johnny's always busy, they're both always pretty busy, so who knows how much is delegated to her while he's also off scheming with randall in his little mancave or trying to win tylor over? i know i mentioned earlier that johnny is usually on a first name basis with people, and it seems to be a pretty intentional little detail that sticks out like a sore thumb with randall... and yet, we never actually see him call her by only her first name, either. the most we get out of him is "claire worthington", last name attached, and in public, it's always "mrs. worthington" even when he's just... chasing after her to go and talk to her like a normal person??? you would think his wife of all people would get a first name pass at least once, so it almost feels like an active reminder of how he's a Married Man under His Name...

and i think there's a very hilarious and potent concept in the fact that claire and randall are both snarky as hell, even having a very similar vocal inflection as their casual speaking voice, just a little drawn out... as well as her character being taken to utilize in monsters university led to her being described as "something of an achiever" herself. so considering what i said about someone who could bite back and tease him in return... i think the second you cross over into "reminds me of traits of my wife" territory with a new, exciting spin to take you away from it all, it's like... Over.

trying to figure out how something like that would spark and who initiated it is also interesting, and my bets are on randall. it was johnny who was sort of guiding him around in the college days, but randall, who's got reason to be a lot more invested in this, being the one to tempt him into that reflects in an interesting way with how they've changed... and i think it would be funny if it actually took a bit for randall to get him to crack, for him to even feel Guilty about it as a pinnacle of self control, but... all of this is already such a secret, and randall's already his little secret in more ways than one, so what's one more if no one finds out?

that's how he plays, isn't it...?

anyway they suck blowing them up forever and so on and so forth

[inspiredwriter]

Guys, listen to me, the TMNT Bay version has Leatherhead!

(Remember this green guy?)

So recently I downloaded the video game "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Brothers Unite", the plot of which is that the bad guys (mutant pigeons, roaches, porcupines, street thugs and several mysterious ninjas) for unknown reasons take over all the pizzerias in New York, and the task of the turtles is to move around locations and beat their butts. I would like to note that Bebop and Rocksteady also take part in all this villainous chaos, but this game does not show how they became mutants (most likely this game appeared before the 2 film). Donnie even takes blood from Rocksteady's hand for analysis and becomes convinced that all these pigeons, porcupines and roaches are the same mutants as he and his brothers, only the mutation, for some unknown reason, made them more aggressive and uncontrollable.

Leatherhead only appears at the end of the game, so the player does not get to fight him in the final battle, but it can be concluded that he has been following us throughout the game.

This mutant alligator calls the turtles traitorsss because he saw them fight with other mutants (he probably doesn’t know that this mutation drove them crazy) and disappears without a trace, using a smoke bomb.

Master Splinter says that there are still many mysteries in this city that they have to solve.

And that's all...

Unfortunately, this game did not receive a sequel and it's terribly sad because I was hoping to hear at least a little more about Leatherhead. After all, he’s not even a villain there, he was probably recruited into the Shredder gang (In the game, leaflets also appear on the floor with the headings “Shredder is back?”)! But what I'd most like to see is his friendship with Mikey develop.

Because SHELL SHOCK, Mikey's friendship with Leatherhead was the most ADORABLE thing about the TMNT 2012 series to me! Seriously, they could have come up with something similar with Bay verse Mikey. I think this would be something INCREDIBLY CUTE!!💚

@swagreecrow @kawaiibunga @sivy-chan-blog @narwals14 @angelcatlowyn @dai-su-kiss @janet-the-dark-queen @turtle-babe83 @foxflamewarrior @cowabunga-doll @turtlesmakemehappy @zowise2912 @wolfroks @aeempress @neocelticavalon @androidships007 @iheartchv

[antianakin]

The way ppl try to bend over backwards to convince everyone that 'Anakin is the only jedi to be critical of senate and seeing senate's failing is one of the reasons he did what he did' is so unimaginably stupid. Like, come on we are taking about the guy who is besties with the guy in charge of the senate and thinks he did nothing wrong

He does explicitly tell Padme that he thinks the current system of government isn't working, so those people aren't wrong that Anakin is someone who DOES recognize the Senate is failing and is critical of it, but what gets left out of that analysis is that his solution to it is a DICTATORSHIP. Which Padme rightfully points out in the scene isn't actually BETTER than what they already have. Yes, the Senate is flawed and corrupt, but it is still MILES better than a literal dictatorship.

Anakin has a tendency to place his trust and loyalty in specific PEOPLE rather than larger institutions. He trusts Obi-Wan in the films and we see him being friendly with other members of the Jedi Council in TCW, but he does not ever trust the Council AS A RULING BODY, nor does he seem to feel any real sense of loyalty to them as authority figures. The same is true for Palpatine vs the Senate. He isn't necessarily loyal to the Senate just because he's loyal to Palpatine or because he's married to a Senator. In TCW, when he insists on reporting their movements to the Chancellor, he isn't necessarily doing so because he's loyal to THE CHANCELLOR, but because he's loyal to PALPATINE and this is something Palpatine has asked them for. We also see this in how he responds to the two requests made in ROTS for him to spy on people. Palpatine says "you will be my personal eyes and ears in the Council" and it's very personal between him and Anakin as friends, so Anakin never once balks at it or sees it as any kind of betrayal. Whereas when the Council makes the request (through Obi-Wan) to have Anakin spy on Palpatine, the request comes FROM THE COUNCIL, from this ruling body, and Anakin sees it as a betrayal of a friend. He specifically asks Obi-Wan who is making the request, whether this is something Obi-Wan is asking him to do or the Council and Obi-Wan specifies that it's the Council.

So while both of these things ARE true for Anakin, it's because he makes a distinction between the person he is loyal to and the institution they represent. And Anakin is ALWAYS loyal to people above institutions or ideals.

All of that being said, it's absolute bullshit to claim that Anakin is the only one who notices the Senate is a mess. The Jedi obviously DO know this, but, much like Padme, they recognize that it's far better than any of the alternatives. The only other options out there during the time period of the Prequels Jedi are being ruled by a crime organization like the Hutts or the Black Sun or the Pykes, or the Separatists who are being ruled by the Sith and the Corporate Alliance and are literally committing heinous atrocities everywhere they go and even subjugating the planets of their own core members (without those members seeming to KNOW that it's even happening). The ONE other alternative is to be "neutral" and we see how well that goes for Satine on Mandalore when her planet is completely cut off from all trade. So the Republic Senate, as flawed and corrupt as it is, is STILL BETTER than all of the alternative options and the best way forward is to keep working on the Republic from the inside and trying to make it BETTER rather than abandoning it completely or burning it down. Just because the Jedi choose to stick with the Republic doesn't mean they don't recognize its flaws, they just recognize that it's the best system in existence at the moment and the best they can do is continue to fight for it.

It's even more bullshit to try to claim that Anakin committed a genocide against the Jedi because he's upset that they don't recognize the Senate's corruption given that Mace is literally about to take out the corruption at the heart of the Senate and Anakin chooses to kill him rather than let him do it. He also isn't doing ANY OF IT out of some altruistic belief that the people of the galaxy are truly going to be better off with the Jedi destroyed and the Republic turned into an Empire. He CLAIMS he will bring "peace, freedom, security, and justice" but it is a LIE. It is a lie he is telling himself so he can keep pretending he's a hero and not a villain who just committed a genocide against an innocent culture. It is a LIE he is telling himself so he doesn't have to feel the pain and the guilt of what he's just done. He also never ever makes good on that claim. There is never peace, freedom, security, or justice at any point during the Empire's reign, nor does Anakin ever seem to be fighting for it.

Anakin commits a genocide against the Jedi because he wants power and this is how he's been told he can acquire it. It's that simple. Anyone who tries to argue otherwise is an idiot without media literacy.