#final lesson: the right boat has way more good stuff in it if you don't have time to rob both

[loquaciousquark]

The Great Counting House Docks Heist

THE RULES

face value awarded for all materials stolen: all materials must be sold post-heist by a neutral third party (Gale) to avoid CHA- or theft-based adjustments of cost

natural 20: +250gp bonus

successful pickpocket of any guard: +100gp bonus

disabling an alarm: +100gp bonus

any detection or accusation of theft: -500gp bonus each

THE SETUP

each Thief will be given a scroll of Haste, which must be cast & concentrated on by the respective Heister

each Thief will be additionally buffed with one casting of Greater Invisibility by a neutral compatriot, who will remain unmoving in a safe zone at all times

each Thief will have his or her inventory fully emptied prior to the Heist*

each Thief will have all curses, poisons, bloodlessness, divine disfavor, or any other negative status effect removed prior to the Heist

any potion, elixir, divine blessing, or other imbibement which would provide a material advantage to the Heister must be removed prior to the Heist†

no previously looted keys to any chest, lock, door, or crate may be used by either Thief

the bounds will be from easternmost docks alarm-stand to westernmost alarm-stand, with the northern border being the Counting House doors & the southern border being the Chionthar; no Thief shall leave the bounded area at any point

THE HEIST

Shadowheart & Gale are the Greater Invisibility casters for Tav & Astarion, respectively. From the perspective of the above screenshot, Tav takes the rightmost boat and Astarion takes the left. While I've robbed these docks before, it was on my last playthrough & done entirely with one character, so I have absolutely no idea which boats contain anything of value.

Immediately, I'm surprised by how little Tav's Thief-based extra bonus action helps. I was worried it'd give her extra mobility, but she's limited by the lockpick action rather than her speed, and I have to end several of her turns early with her sitting on a chest and kicking her heels.

Guard distribution is very equal between boats. The Steel Watchers move fairly quickly, and the guards have comprehensive pathing within the target area.

The locks range from DC 10 to DC 20. None pose any issue for either Astarion or Tav.

Astarion immediately rolls two natural 20s within his first few chests. Tav successfully pickpockets a patrolling guard of 23 gold, a Docks Chest key, and a torch.

Both Tav & Astarion successfully disable their alarms.

Astarion pickpockets a guard of 23 gold.

Both Tav & Astarion completely wipe their respective boats of all wares, including paintings, chest contents, and food, without detection.

On the final approach back to the Counting House (which they did at approximately the same time), there are a pair of guards on either side of the doors. Tav successfully pickpockets hers of 6 gold and re-enters the Counting House. Astarion, on the last check of the entire heist, rolls a 2 and is detected.

Chaos breaks out immediately. Astarion is accused of theft and, while able to persuade his way out of prison, is thrown from the Counting House. (He'll claim he got caught on purpose for a more expedient escape.)

The docks guards realize theft has occurred and begin accusing everyone they can reach. This includes Gale, Shadowheart, Minsc, Jaheira, and—tragically—Tav. One by one, everyone either claims innocence or Persuades their way out of trouble. I can barely take two steps in any direction without being accosted by a guard.

The chaos brings some of the internal guards up to investigate, where they discover the interior thefts from the previous ransacking of the Counting House during Minsc's quest. The rounds begin again, though Tav manages to avoid accusation this time.

Eventually, both thieves manage to escape, along with the rest of the party, clutching their ill-gotten gains.

THE RESULTS

Gale acts as intermediary with Dammon, the only merchant in the game Tav hasn't stolen from. (This is because I, Quark, was challenged in Act 1 to not ever steal from him again, and @probablylostrightnow rolled a 16 with inspiration & Guidance from @bettydice on a DC 16 Persuade check against me. This is a holy binding to which I have adhered religiously.)

ASTARION'S WARES TOTAL: 1636 GP

TAV'S WARES TOTAL: 2602 GP

ASTARION BONUS ADJUSTMENT: two natural 20s, one successful pickpocket, one disabled alarm, one unsuccessful pickpocket resulting in detection & accusation of theft:

250 + 250 + 100 + 100 - 500 - 500 = -300gp to final score

TAV BONUS ADJUSTMENT: no natural 20s, two successful pickpockets, one disabled alarm, one accusation of theft:

100 + 100 + 100 - 500 = -200gp to final score

FINAL SCORES

ASTARION: 1336 GP

TAV: 2402 GP

WINNER: TAV

*soul-bound relics, prisms, prisons, or weaponry excluded

†permanent blessings, benefits, or buffs which would disappear only on death excluded

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Magic Man

Kiersten White: Submitted for the approval of the midnight society, i call this the tale of the creepy kids show Stephen King: oh excellent! a creepy pasta! King: my boy joe told me all about those King: like that scary cartoon sponge man! Joe Hill: it was squidward, dad King: right right of course joe

White: this isn't a creepypasta White: it's about a weird show that everyone vaguely remember watching but can't remember any details of White: and also the time slot and channel mysteriously seem to shift Kris Straub: ah! candle cove! White: no White: no this is different

King: haha remember in candle cove when the boat is all King: "you have to go inside" Straub: yeah i remember Poe: spooky stuff! Koontz: ha ha! "you have to go inside" White: White: it's not candle cove

Barker: you're all saying it wrong Barker: it's all like Barker: "you have to go.... INSIDE" Barker: see, you gotta get the inflection right King: you said it exactly the same Barker: no it was way scarier when i said it King: "you have to go... inside" Barker: hmm no not quite right King: i don't see the difference Barker: kris who said it right Kris Straub: clive Barker: see??? King: i really don't think i said it any different White: ANYWAY

White: this is about a creepy kids show called Mister Magic White: these kids are forced to live on a set away from their parents White: until one kids dad tries to take her away White: but try to understand dad White: try to understand White: try try try to understand White: he's a magic man

White: now it's 30 years later and she's going to a show reunion White: and she's all "hey what happened 30 years ago? i forgot" White: and everyone's all "lol not telling!" White: gotta preserve the mystery White: at least til the final reel

White: see, these Mormons found an eldritch god in the desert White: and they thought White: you know what would be good to do with this? White: make a kids show about how you should always be polite King: uhhh Poe: no actually that kinda scans

White: the now grown up kids from the show have to reunite White: and defeat mister magic through the power of um... King: understanding? White: Yeah! it can totally be like understanding or forgiveness or something White: they overcome all their fears White: and they turn out totally fine

King: i didn't know candle cove was really just lessons about being polite! White: IT'S NOT CANDLE COVE King: "you have to go... INSIDE!!" Straub: there Straub: there it is Straub: you got it that time

King: creepypastas are so much fun, why don't we have more of them around here? Mr Creepypasta: now I've heard a guy tell a story hundreds of times. saying perfectly ordinary words. just mouth sounds. perfectly ordinary. nothing weird about them. very normal. nothing to worry about Chillz: here's the TOP tennnn VIDEooooos PROvinGGGG THAT the dracullllaaaa is real King: oh yeah now i remember

Eric Knudsen: i have a story about the terrible secret of space HP Lovecraft: what Lovecraft: what is the terrible secret of space? Lovecraft: is it a color? Lovecraft: cuz i already know that one

[din0lover]

Funny post of all the little "ghosties" talking moments in the captions

(It's ccbbh but also there might be some missing I did the best I could in trying to get it all lol enjoy!)

-

Signs of Pomme and Ramon

/

"Fudge I missed the sign"

"Maybe bad should stay dead a bit longer"

"Stress never killed anybody, except for the people it did"

"Isn't that cannibalism " (referring to pomme apple die comment)

-

Zinc cave

"Richas is going to die" (richas digging straight down)

" Oh Fudge not this one" (referring to cave they went into go collect zinc)

"This is limestone not zinc"

"Look how pretty"

"Let's go mine proceeds to mine limestone"

"These statements are now canonical ghosty thoughts"

"The block looks chewable" (referring to the limestone block)

/

"Canonical ghosty bathroom break"

"And canonically left alone" (after he got back from the bathroom break)

/

"There are going to be so mad at us when the eggs die" (after richas digs straight down deeper into the cave)

"Ghosties have bad hand eye coordination" (after falling in lava)

"50 zinc that's enough to make 1/10 of a drill"

"Free stuff"

"Lucy what are you doing over there"

"Later peasants I'm warping away, what the Fudge, that's crazy" (referring to richas warping out of the cave)

-

Leaving Zinc Cave

"All your stones belongs to me"

"Give me your stone I'm going to eat it all"

"Nom nom nom nom nom nom"

(ramon and pomme digging up out of the cave)

/

"Well this is the end for me I'm afraid"

"Should've taken those swimming lessons"

(Water bucket was placed down for a split second this guy is so dramatic LOL)

/

"You know, I'm holding sugar cane, it's magic, but why am I holding sugar cane? Is it a coincidence Or is there a higher meaning to it? Not even caption viewers will find out"

/

"Yep some of you realized all stream it was me reading the signs."

"Yep what you thought it was magic?, no I was reading them."

"The entire time thats where the captions come from."

"No way /j"

"The poor people without the captions right now."

/

That's it Ramon takes one call, I'm going to narrate their actions"

"Pomme looks around aimlessly "

"Ramon thinks I'm done cave mining it's probably best to leave"

"Pomme thinks Fudge dirt that means we're close to the surface but I hate digging through it."

"Don't worry we're good"

"Now it's off to do more adventuring"

"Sorry I'll stop being silly"

-

Finally out of the Zinc Cave

"You got this

You got this

You got this

You got this

You got this

You can do it"

"Freedom of fudge, worst ad time ever"

"Actually no we had some horribly timed ads."

"Dumbo, the moon, why did it translate it to that? I think there was a mistranslation chat."

"And pomme sacrifices Ramon to the squids" (Ramon fell out of the boat)

"Hey guys maybe we should take that zinc to Badboyhalo house instead"

-

Repairing the town of Fobo farm

/

Richas : "I mean I am not human I don't know, that works with tio dad and my dad's"

Ccbbh aka "ghosties" : "he's onto something "

/

"Huh bird"

"Nosy ghosties"

"Lucy Hi"

"So wholesome"

/

"3 minutes till restart"

"One minute before void"

"Toxic not the backup"

"The lore killer"

/

"Sometimes I still hear his voice" (referring to bbh it's almost like we can still hear him in the after life)

/

"There comes a day in every pet owners life" (referring to richas killing his caged amethyst crab)

/

"It is a good way to keep memories, if only bad was doing that." (That vile man he needs to be put in a panini press)

/

"I'm running out of sad music"

/

"Guys stop trolling the Chatters and telling them I died IRL"

"I can still hear his voice"

/

-

Group hug for all

/

"And it's a group hug"

"Get down here richas it's group hug time"

"Oh my gosh he is dying"

"Okay now he is good"

"Group hug richas, don't let him go up"

"Don't let him wiggle his way up there"

/

"He can't get away from The Angst train,there's a train and it's full angst"

"I love angst"

"I'm going to be honest this has been a very wholesome night but it is a lot of angst."

"Choo Choo"

-

Richas getting down again

/

"Crazy people oh my gosh"

"Gave me a heart attack right now"

"Oh my gosh they actually just trying to kill him in front of me"

"That's crazy"

"Where's you armor ?! He's not wearing armor!"

"Oh my gosh just let him die, finish him now"

"That be the worst time for a creeper to just slither its way and explode right next to them "

"Like actual nightmare fuel"

"You're going to give me a heart attack"

"He's going to die chat like if we don't see the death and no one else is online it doesn't really happen."

"It's like a tree that falls in the forest, and no one around here it doesn't make a noise."

"Pretty sure that's how it works chat mathematically "

-

Slight BBH love <3<3

- "I'm sorry chat thus has been a long stream, I'm trying to keep myself chucking along, I'm enjoying it but it is a long stream."

"Two really long streams in a row"

(Peace and love ccbbh thanks for the long streams with the eggs and other memes <3<3)

-

Back to richas and his vendetta against group hugs

/

"Rebel Richas, no hugs, hugs are for the weak"

/

"Oh my gosh they're going to actually kill him, I need to make sure to look away before he dies"

*looks away*

"There we go"

"If I dont see the death it doesn't count"

/

"This is like a slightly unhinged nature documentary "

"Bros really going to fall and die literally if he's not careful oh my gosh"

/

*commentating*

"Quick everyone lets vandalize their building even more."

/

"Oh my gosh please just don't do it."

"He's going to drown."

"No don't die drowning underwater it will kill you instantly "

"Stop"

/

"Bro really said that I'm going to maybe die someday and choose that day to be today."

"He's crazy chat, oh my goodness."

"Oh my goodness please holy crap."

"Let me build or I will die, thats your only two choices here" (even after death bbh still having beef with richas that's crazy)

/

"Yippee!"

/

"Bro better-" ( looking to see if richas is wearing armor and then proceeds to find out he's wearing diamond pants)

"I've been wearing pants this whole time. "

"Someone who doesn't have their cosmetic armor off and they just see pants walking around."

/

"Mimi"

-

Back home

/

"Confused but following "

"Where am i?"

"He's still not wearing armor either "

-

Fin (I just realized that didn't bbh say he be recording his audio too? I just transcript all this for nothing I'm done on a serious note though it was fun to read the captions and hope you find slight entertainment in what I was able to capture lmk if I missed any which I probs did well im off) (also forgive me if I did some misspelling I did this really late)

Extra clip:

[themrswallace]

Currently doing more story editing for the COTWR reboot chapter, and with DL being younger and freshly (Ish) off the evil train, I want to have the acting out be a bit more exaggerated. Like they're throwing a reprise of the confrontation tantrum, but now they can actively live the movie to some degree and do the whole "I WOULD'VE DONE THIS IF I WAS HERE!" by squaring up to Victor, telling Wallace how the business is gonna blow up in his face if things keep going a certain way, mouth off because they're rightly or wrongly becoming rebellious against this stupid "Guide to Goodness" shite and is understandably angry because Wallace and Gromit no longer trust them, equally failing to take into account the reasons behind it, take responsibilty similar to Wallace blatently refusing to see where he's repeating the past in a sense, both of them are building the foundation for the later rampage and don't see it coming! Meanwhile, Gromit and Fluffles are just watching this all happen from the sidelines because they're too busy being parents/focusing on their little family/not wanting to upset the apple cart since the feuding duo are both of their best friends (Which is the right thing to do, although you know Gromit's subconsciously panicking the hell out after learning Victor Quartermaine's back with a new kit). (Edit because I went to the loo before coming back to finish this, and I had an idea) Instead of the one big scary transformation, I wanna see about having it be a short-lived series of the usual nightly unseen by the household events, except each time the Were Rabbit gets more and more aggressive! Not deadly, but it seems to have bothered someone. Wallace previously had issues with which is noted in the daily newspaper! Like a farmer who'd tried to over-charge them for using his field has his house/stuff/field damaged (A different guy from the one DL and Fluff had to ruin to cover up the poisoned veg), PC Mack (Wallace's Brother he doesn't speak to except for Christmas and tends to fail to share any fondness toward) waking up to his boat sunk/garden turn up or straight up being bonked on the noggin like Wallace has always wanted to do! Basically, things happen to people that the Inventor expresses negativity toward one way or another, because IRL in human form, he simply represses and holds back, as he's not known for being angry/upset/anything other than happy-go-lucky.

DL going unaffected happens because throughout the story, Wallace is making (unfamiliar to his character) snarky remarks under his breath, grumbling and muttering toward his housemates (Maybe because subconsciously he doesn't want to hurt them and the Were Rabbit is coping this way through being cranky in human form), so he's micro-venting until the final rage-inducing showdown where the dam breaks and Wallace hulks out because the Were Rabbit NEEDS to let this MF find out. They've pushed beyond the boundary set internally, leading him to change on the spot and rampage through the basement/house, going after the rest of those who've angered him until DL once more gets the attention set on them! Leading to the chase scene.

I also like the fact it can carry on years later in nightmares/feelings because they've all learnt a valuable lesson about closure

[fanficstories4]

Moon knight fanfic : marc's older sister book 1/The Truth

jade pov :

"Ok ." I said getting up and when I get by the end of the boat it stops we get off .

I get out first then marc and Layla .

We put all of are stuff under the patio which if i had to be honest that is not really good spot to put stuff and i also did not want to put some of my extra weapons and some disguises there but oh well .

"ok let's get are story straight . this guy has a lot of friend's . " marc says .

" yeah but with a whole load of guns ." i said to him .

We all see some boats out in the water which to be honest i don't  think people would start to boat at night .

" harrow keeping tabs?" Layla asks .

" i don't know maybe, It might be ,Lets go . " Marc says .

"Ok so Layla's name stay the same but marc you name is Rufino Estrada and my name is Aemilia Estrada . You and Layla just got back from your honeymoon . " I said to catch marc on speed with things and i also did not think to put a need in for me being his sister .

" That's a little interesting detail to give them." marc says .

" I'd tell them you worked in a gift shop , but they'd never believe me would they ? " Layla joked.

We finale arrive to the gates or what ever and people riding horse's . I look over by the gate and see someone over there and i am guessing they were waiting for us . Layla walks up to greet the man .

"bek ," Layla says greeting the man at the entrance or as i know his name bek .

"Layla ," He said greeting back .

"It's been awhile good to see you ," Layla says

"yeah, right this way . " bek says .

"thank you " Layla says .

Bek turn's to marc "He is looking forward to seeing you , after Madipoor i am sure you have a lot to talk about ." He turns back to Layla "Excuse me for one moment ,Mr. Morgart will be with you soon ."

After bek leaves we all look at them puting El-mermah game .

"So what this joker puts on El-mermah games in his back yard for fun ?"Marc asks.

"No he gets private lessons from the beast in his back yard." she replies back .

" So a rich snob basically ." i said .

Marc laughed a bit .

"I like the robe ." marc said seeing the mogart guy put on a red robe.

Morgart comes over buy us .

"Layla come in such a delight to see you . " The man says .

"You too . how have you been ? " She asks him.

"Good ." He says .

"Thank you for having us over on such a short notice ." Layla says .

"Oh please i hope you know have no excuse to drop by ." He says and as he says that i can tell he is trying to flirt with Layla even though he know she has a husband .

Layla turns to me and marc . "This is my husband , Rufino and my sister in law Aemilia ." Layla says introducing us to the man .

"Nice to meet you ." marc says even though it is very clear he is not happy to meet him.

"Hello." i said .

"pleasure oh right i do hope you understand this is more then a collection to me persevering history is a responsibility ." He said.

"A self appointed responsibility that you were able to join , no ? " Layla says .

"Well i do prefer to see as a philanthropic effort at preserving , now if you may ask why such interest in sefu particular ?" he asks .

"oh actually our purchases are..... " Layla was beginning to say before morgart cut her off her .

"oh actually i would like to hear from your husband if you don't mind." He says .

Fuck he is onto us marc better make a good reason .

"I think i would just like to take look ." Marc says and soon as he said that i waned to hit my head against something .

"Funny man feel free ." He says but i can tell he is going to get backup or something .

The guards lead us to were sefu sarcophagus .

I turn to marc now that we are inside and the gurds are outside . "I love you marc but you do know that was the stupidest thing you could of come up with a kid could of done better ." I said .

"Yeah i know ." He said not impressed with himself either .

"Please let Steven out before you blow this ." Layla says to Marc .

I know Steven and Marc do not have the best relationship so i offer something .

"I could let Rebecka out if you want she does know some stuff about this ." I said .

"We need all the help we can get so sure." Layla says .

As i am about to let Rebecka take control Marc grabs my arm . I look over to him .

"What if she does not give the body back ?" Marc asks .

" She will we have are system figured out so don't worry ." I said .

Marc lets go go my arm and i let Rebecka take control .

Rebecka Pov :

Jade told me about what i was helping out with and told me if the guards try to do anything to have her be in control then gave me the body . It felt so werid with the suit it was so tight and claustrophobic but also i have never been the one to wear the suit .

"Do you need to know what to do ?" Layla asks . that's what i heard Jade call her .

"Oh know what to do but thank you . " I said .

I look at the text and Layla was too .

" It is burial practice's that are in line with Studenwachen texts ."I said .

"The what ?" Marc says .

"She means it is legit but all i am seeing is literature to guide the dead there's no location indicated ." She said sighing at the end .

"Yeah i only see that sorry i do not know a lot ." I said .

"It's fine but will you give me a minute i got to talk to steven , Layla can you distract him and jade can you help me ." Marc says .

Layla walks out to distract morgart while i help trying to find something else while marc and steven and arguing but they seem to agree on something ..

"What are you doing ." I hear someone say .

I give jade the body because i knew that we were caught .

Jade pov :

All of a sudden i am outside and on my knees . I turn to see marc .

"Layla i was so ready to make peace with you ." Morgart says .

"you don't know we are trying to save many lives ." Layla begs .

"hey pal take a look inside the sarcophagus there's something really , really big ." My brother says .

There is harrow and his cult coming up .

"seems like we have a concerned third party, get up ." Morgart says .

"Whatever they have told you i'm sure i can offer you more tangible why settle for clue when you can have the treasure ?" Harrow says .

"Anton , Anton don't listen to this man he's trying to stop us from us reaching ,please stop he's gonna kill million's trust me ." Layla she begs .

"Are you seriously talking about trust ?" Morgart says .

"Please there's no need to descend into violent accusation's each one of you has so much more then you know. Layla, you keep thinking that distance will prevent the wounds from reopening but something stands in your way , your husband doesn't tell you the truth and marc you don't tell her because you know that if you do she'll see you exactly as you see your self unworthy of love and poor little jade you can not forget the hauntings and the things you did in the red room and you will never forgive yourself for that ." Harrow says .

When he finishes i can feel my self slip back into the black widow posture.

"you piece of shit ." Marc says angrily under his breath .

[calibri-crossies]

Storm in my mind.

(Merman au)

Santana had always wanted to know the surface since childhood, but was never allowed or given the opportunity to do so.Until he became an adult and in one fateful day he was rescued by that human. And contrary to what his former master had told him, Y /n was someone kind and trustworthy.

After visiting Y/n over and over again, and seeing the wonders of the human land they showed him, Santana wondered if there was a way to make this easier... what if he had legs?

The redhead had no reason to be a merman. His family? They abandoned him long time ago. Food? The land food was so much better and easier to get and now that he had someone who was significant to him on land, there was no reason anymore for him to remain at sea. He was determined to become a human.

Santana had known Y/n for a little over a year. The merman didn't have much knowledge about romance or that stuff involving relationships, he was just following his instincts. And those instincts told him that Y/n was the right person he wanted to share his life with. He had made a decision, he was going to ask Y/n to be his mate, but he wanted to surprise them. He wanted to be there with his new legs, he wanted to be able to lift Y/n in his arms like in the movies he had watched when he had visited the human's home.

Santana knew that Kars had a secret room in the temple where he lived. And in that room there were several hamulets and potions where they could have a varied effect, and he was sure he had seen something like "metamorphosis to human". As much as he hated that place. he had to go back, it would all be worth it when he returned to the surface. When he returned to his beloved Y/n.

Sneakly he entered the submerged Palace and unlike the time he had left that place, there was full of mermen, but these mermen were completely beside themselves, as if they were being controlled. Santana decided to disguise himself as one of them and quickly managed to infiltrate the rooms of his masters and "brother".

Finally finding the spot where Kars hid the mystical artifacts, he searched for something that could turn him into a human, or at least give him legs, even if he still had his gills and was still dependent on water. He wanted to be able to walk, to be able to run after Y/n.

Someone had entered that place, which made the merman apprehensive. Santana tried to hide but even though he was hidden in the shadows, a voice spoke directly to him.

"Reveal yourself my son, I know you're here." Kars said in his authoritative voice but in a calm tone. "Do you really think I wouldn't recognize the fins of one of those I raised?"

Santana said nothing, just watched as the purple tentacles swayed from side to side. He knew that Kars was planning something. But the only thing he could think about was finding a way out of there.

Kars clicks his tongue in displeasure. He tells Santana that everything was fine, and that he wasn't going to do anything to him, just wanting to talk. Santana, still in a fearful posture, approaches a little to Kars,who smiles at him.

"I'm glad you still trust me, my child."

"I just came here to get something. You won't have to worry about me being a burden to you or anyone else anymore!" He quickly makes his way but Kars stops him. "Why the rush Santana? I said I want to talk!"

This time his voice was rougher, as if he was ordering the redhead to stay right where he was.Kars' attitude only motivates Santana to want to leave that place even more. The purple-haired merman sighs trying to get the younger one's attention again.

Kars' attitude only motivates Santana to want to leave that place even more. The purple-haired merman sighs trying to get the younger one's attention again.

"Are you sure that human has the same intentions you have for them?"

Kars' words make Santana pause for a moment. The red haired merman turns and looks at the older one with a pissed scowl on his face.

"Oh? So you haven't told them about your feelings yet?" Kars lets out a mocking laugh. "Do you really think Y/n will want you, even though they know what a freak you are?"

Santana shouts at Kars to shut up but he just laughs louder and continues.

"Don't kid yourself. Y/n has better options like that blond friend of theirs."

"They are exactly what you said, just friends!"

"Hm? Are they?" Kars pulls one of the artifacts he contained in that room, a white orb, like a giant pearl. And when he touches that, the object starts to glow and show images.

Y/n and Ceasar were on the boat that was also their and Mr Zeppelli's home. It was night and the two were alone, Y/n was laughing at something that ceasar had told her as he rubbed the back of his neck with a slight blush on his cheeks. At that moment a cold wind hits them both and Y/n recoils a little while Ceasar grabs them a coat and wraps his hand over their shoulder to help them warm up, like the good gentleman he always was. But in Santana and Kars' view it was a sign that there was something between them. Something Santana couldn't have with Y/n.

"Oh poor child, you don't know anything about humans and already want to become one?" Gradually the mood in the room grew darker, and the rings that adorned Kars' tentacles took on a hypnotic glow. "Y/n's heart was kind enough to save you, but there's no place in it for you either!"

Santana's heart began to sink, in his mind he was starting to not be sure of anything anymore. He just wanted some time to think alone, time to be able to talk directly to Y/n. But Kars' words were invading his ears and digging into his mind.

"Humans also cheat, which guarantees they would love you forever? And after they left you? What would you do?"

Kars runs his hands through Santana's hair. Giving him some comfort while the redhead lost himself in his doubts.

"After all, family is the only thing you left.You must have disobeyed me and been punished with loneliness, but that doesn't mean we've abandoned you, my child. "

Santana continued to stare at the orb as he watched the two humans interact. How did someone like him think he would be worthy of Y/n's love?

"They just felt pity for you!"

And with these words,Santana was already completely under Kars' control. Seeing now the young merman's state he sees Esidisi was already at the door and watching what was happening. In displeasure with the other pillar merman who said he would never use his hypnotic power on one of them.But Esidisi didn't say anything about it, he just accepted Kars' attitudes without saying anything, but seeing Santana in that state gave him a pang in the chest.

"What do you intend to do with him in this state?" Esidisi question.

"Nothing directly to him, but we need to get this human scum out of him at once. Bring Y/n over here. Santana dared to break into my home and steal one of my belongings, I'm going to teach him a lesson."

...

On the balcony, Y/n looked at the infinity of the sea, thinking where the red-haired merman could be. The last time they met, he had said he wanted to talk about something very important, but when he arrived at the time he had arranged, Santana didn't come.

"I hope nothing happened to you..." With a hand on their chest they prayed the merman was okay, Y/n knew the dangers a merman could face on a daily basis and hoped that Santana was just late.

[attack-on-kiwi]

I wanted to make sure before i asked- soo ^-^

Would you be willing to do the fluff alphabet for Porco? Honestly i don't see many fics of him! Pf course it's entirely up to you! :)

I’m glad I get to pay tribute to him on his birthday(11/11) :)

Porco Galliard:

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

Spending time together in general is highly valued by Porco. He doesn’t get too much free time, so any time he’s able to splice maong his family and his s/o is important to him. When they’re together, he wants to make the most of it, but he’s tired from his excursions. This means the two usually get a meal or his s/o accompanies him while he tries to sleep. The feeling of their fingers raking through his short hair has become something of a guilty pleasure for him.

When he’s got the energy, Porco lets them drag him around the marketplace so they can run errands. He enjoys the domesticity of it. If they can enjoy a calm boat ride, he’s going to plan a small picnic for them.

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

Their loyalty and perseverance is what draws his to them. Porco is in awe of their stubbornness to stay with him, their stubbornness to get their work done, and their stubbornness to believe that there’s more to life than the violence that wrecks the land. The way they find joy in the little things and how they want to share those little loves with him is more entrancing than it should be. 

On a physical standpoint, he thinks their hands are beautiful. It’s cheesy, but the way their fingers are shaped to lock with his in such a perfect way only justifies that they were made for one another. He’s always pressing small kisses to them as he bids them farewell or lulls them to sleep. It’s not uncommon that Porco will mindlessly stroke across their palms just to take in the dips and curves of each line.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Hugs. Porco needs to keep his mouth shut because he knows he’s going to make it worse. He relies on holding his s/o tightly, engulfing them in his arms. No matter their size, they always feel so tiny and fragile in his arms. He’ll kiss the top of their heads and rock them. He doesn’t care how long he needs to stay there--he won’t let go until he’s sure they’ve calmed down. 

He’ll try to talk to them about what upset them when he believes they can speak and tries to get to the bottom of the issue. It frustrates him to no end that he can’t do more than he should be able to.

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

He tries not to picture a future because of his ticking clock, but he can’t help but fantasize about hwat life would be if the two got married. What if they worked together? Or had kids? What if they traveled the world once he was granted permission and everything was safe? Thoughts like these keep Porco from losing his mind during the notably difficult times. 

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

At first, Porco is rather passive, letting his s/o guide him in how they like to maneuver through a relationship. However, as he gets used to them and their habits, he starts taking initiative and cultivates a dominant streak. He enjoys the looks of surprise his s/o gives him as he starts really asserting himself, which inspires him to take charge more often. 

He does let his s/o take charge if they want to. There's something about being told what to do or how to behave that ignites a mischievous fire in him, and, hey, it makes for some really good entertainment on his part. 

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Oh, man. Porco is ruthless when he and his s/o fight. He doesn’t hold back and can say some pretty upsetting stuff, and if the situation is dire enough, he will violently jab at their insecurities. It only hits him after, and the regret sits deep in his stomach, making him feel like he’ll throw up. He’s always ready for his s/o to leave him during these fights, and he’ll steel himself. He’s stubborn, and believes he’s in the right, which causes problems in the relationship. 

If he’s in it for the long term, he’s willing to try and be more compassionate, though, it’s a long journey. He doesn’t even care about grudges, honestly, he just wants to be right. Unless his s/o or he have their loyalty questioned, his main priority is winning. 

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

Porco has his qualms with the relationship. One one hand, he’s ecstatic about someone wanting to be with him even though he’s rough around the edges, but on the other hand, he feels selfish for getting into a relationship when he and his s/o are aware of what will happen to a warrior at the end of their ‘term’. He gives his s/o outs and is always shocked at their resilience to his doubts. His s.o promising that they’ll deal with the grief when it comes and that they want to enjoy his love while they can brings him to tears more often than he’d admit (of course, he’s in the privacy of his quarters during these moments). He has no way of expressing how grateful he is in reality, so he uses whatever perks he has to make their life secure and enjoyable, even thinking in the long term about how to get them a home in a safer area or how he can send a portion of the funds that go to his family to his s/o once he’s finished.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Porco is pretty cut and dry. He doesn’t do anything that needs to be kept a secret, and aside from warrior and military information, he’s transparent with his s/o. Now, he won’t go out of his way to share every single thought of his, but if his s/o asks him questions, he’s more than happy to answer. He’s never pondered whether he’s honest to his s/o or not. It comes naturally to him, and he just hopes he’s doing the whole communication thing correctly. Honest as he is, he’s just as blunt. His s/o must be prepared for some harsh truths if they pry.

Porco will ask questions, as well. He does his best to make sure his s/o has nothing heavy on their mind. Sadly, he’s not the best at articulating himself in an emotionally vulnerable situation. He will ask them how they’re doing multiple times a day just to give them the green light that they can share with him if and when they want to.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

The biggest way his s/o changed him is by encouraging him to be free with himself. Porco may seem rather arrogant, and he is, but he is also a stickler for the rules. His s/o reminds him it’s okay to think for himself and to do things just for the hell of it. He won’t always have the answer, and that’s nothing to be scared of. He learns he can share burdens and pain without fear of being ridiculed, and that’s one of the most important lessons his s/o has taught him. 

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

Porco says he’s not the jealous type, but catch him calling out anyone who so much as breathes at a different wavelength around his s/o. He will be quick to act and gets extremely protective, even if his s/o could knock the assailant onto their ass.

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Porco’s kisses range from being shy and sweet to desperate and erratic. It all depends on his mood. Usually, he’s composed and likes to give his s/o cheeky kisses that he leans into, holding their entire being against him. He knows this makes them dizzy and loves to take advantage. Other times, he’s on an adrenaline rush and needs to see his s/o as soon as he can. The possibility of losing them or not seeing another day becomes much too apparent after battles, and he wants to ravish his s/o while he can. He does get a little embarrassed by his behavior if they bring it up later.

His first kiss was nothing phenomenal. It was after he asked if they wanted to be his partner, and he just followed the motions, bringing them in for a simple, sweet kiss. His lips are softer than one would expect, so it was all too easy to melt against him in the moment. Even now, it feels surreal. 

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

Porco’s confession is abrupt. He comes home from the battlefield in the evening to find his s/o had left him a letter, telling him they were thinking of him and have been hoping for his safe return. “Safe” he scoffs to himself and folds the letter into the inner pocket of his jacket. Without really understanding why, he finds himself quickly pacing down the streets until he gets to his s/o’s residence. As soon as they’re in front of him, he doesn’t give them a chance to welcome him home as he grabs them by their arms and leaves them dazed with a rough kiss. He’d pull back and sternly glare at them, though, they know he’s not mad--he’s thinking. When he finally says what’s on his mind, they’re all too relieved that it’s a confession and not a signal to end the relationship. He ends up staying the night, and when the realization of what he said dawns on him, he’s going to try sleeping with his back to them. It doesn’t take much for his s/o to coax him to turn around. In fact, all it takes is them echoing the words back to him.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

He entertains the idea of bonding with someone for life, but unfortunately, his fate as a titan shifter holds him back from thinking too much on it. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up, and much less, get his s/o’s hopes up. In the end, he’s aware he’s going to have to leave his s/o, and being with them at all has already locked in the fact that they’re going to be devastated over what’s to come. Porco doesn’t want to hurt them more than he will.

When Porco thinks about marriage, he thinks about his s/o and him waking up in the early afternoon, chatting over tea, and getting ready for a day of lazing about. He sees his brother, though he shouldn’t, coming over sometimes to tell the two to wake up since all they do is sleep daylight away. He wants two kids running around. Maybe one is shy and the other is outgoing. They’re best friends. He knows his s/o would look sweet with them. He wants to hold all three of them in his solid embrace and whisper ghost stories to them only to get swatted by his s/o for terrorizing the children. If you ever see Porco grinning to himself, he’s probably thinking of that.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

Ooh, Porco thinks nicknames are SO stupid, so no he definitely won’t be calling his s/o “Babe”, or “Baby”, or “Lame-ass dork” nope!! And don’t expect him to whisper little sweet nothings at night, calling them “Beloved”, or “Darling” as they fall asleep just so he can experience how the words would sound as they roll of his tongue! Nope! Porco would NEVER!! 

(all of that was a joke, for those of you who have a hard time getting sarcasm over text. He calls them all that :) )

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

Actually the cutest. Porco acts all big and unbothered, but seeing his s/o turns him into a puppy. He’ll follow them around as they run errands and ask if they want him to carry their stuff. He always insists on paying--it’s a pride thing for him. Don’t worry too much, with his warrior salary, he’s able to afford your basics. His way of showing love is to help his s/o in any way he can and to build them up. Porco is sensitive with them and tries not to be a huge dick, but that passive-aggressive behavior can rear its ugly head at time. 

One way to tell he’s in love is that he won’t be too pessimistic around his s/o. There’s a glint of hope as he speaks to them, and he’s always got a hint of a joyous smile on his face. It’s hard for him to pretend to be angry around them, so imagine the scene other’s who see him on a daily basis are treated to as they witness Porco displaying human kindness. Unfathomable.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Porco’s the guys that just says, “Man, fuck all of you. I miss my s/o, I’m leaving.” And that’s how most people find out the two are in a relationship. If they’re with people he’s comfortable with, he’ll have an art around their shoulders and pull them closer. Aside from that, public displays are limited. 

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.

Porco is so goddamn confrontational and outspoken, which can be bad at times, but honestly, it makes for great entertainment. Seeing him call people out and come up with insults that his s/o would never have thought up in their lifetime is truly one of the most educational experiences they have ever had. Though they do feel bad for Porco’s victims, they find the entire display funny, and when they’re upset they just remember Porco calling someone out. It’s also fun for them to quote these outbursts and watch Porco feign ignorance and hide from them.

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

He tries, he really does… his execution can be sloppy since he gets excited about the entire thing. His skills are limited as he’s got a barren idea of how to be romantic in the first place. It’s important to him that his s/o doesn’t make too much fun of him as he figures all of this out. It’s easy to fluster him, and any romantic gestures will leave him speechless. He does take his s/o by example and will try to give them gifts every now and then or sneak them off for an early morning or late evening date. Strolls in the marketplace where he indulges the two on ice cream or a particular sweet come and go as they can. Again, he has no baseline for romantic displays, so he’s learning as he goes. 

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

Porco holds his loved ones to high standards. If his s/o has a goal, he’s going to make sure they’re serious about it. He can sometimes get more excited about them reaching any milestones than they are for themselves. He’s their biggest fan, and that comes with the price of tough love. He’s not going to pull strings or coddle them. He truly believes if they want to get something done, they will, and he’ll be there to act as their support whenever they need him. 

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Yes! He loves trying out new foods and activities! Especially the ones he doesn’t get to have or do very often in Liberio. He’s always looking for something to share with his s/o, and he will drag them into a small adventure at a moment’s notice. 

In an intimate sense, he’s apprehensive to try out something new, especially if it involves potentially hurting his s/o, so it’s up to his s/o to bring up anything they want to try. Most times, he’s receptive and willing to do something at least once. 

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

At first, it’s hard for Porco to get to know his s.o. It’s likely they’re his first partner, and it’s not like intimate relationships have a guidebook. He’s never sure what he wants to ask his s/o and sometimes his words get jumbled and come out much more rude than he anticipated. As he gets used to the motions of a relationship, he encourages them to talk to him. He wants to be a safe space for them, and it always makes his heart full when his s/o confides to him during vulnerable times. He knows most things about them, from their childhood to their favorite type of officials to make fun of. 

Porco tries- he really does- but empathy doesn’t come easy to him. He’s stuck in his ways and that makes it difficult to see a situation from another’s point of view. He tries his best not to get snippy at his s/o, but there are times where he can’t help but lash out because he thinks their problem can’t really be THAT bad, can it? (He does have a slight guilty conscious when it comes to his s/o, though, so he will feel like shit and try to figure out how to approach them without setting off a beast, lol).

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Porco’s relationship means more than his life to him. Sure, he’s got his mission as a warrior, but he justifies fighting hard as a way to protect his loved ones and eradicate the world of devils who want to see his people burn. He takes his relationship seriously, especially since he IS a warrior, and he’s on a clock. To be his s/o means he’s acknowledged he has strong feelings and that he’s willing to at least have some hope in a better world by risking his s/o’s happiness. He knows they’ll be hurt when he’s gone, so it really takes a lot for him to get with his s/o. This means that the two work hard for one another, and Porco won’t be spitting bull shit at them. He doesn’t have many things that mean much to him, so it’s natural for his s/o to rank pretty high in his priorities.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

Porco! Cannot! Take! Compliments! 

His face will be blank for a few seconds and once he realizes what his s/o said, he’ll start heating up as he denies their claims. It’s a sure fire way of getting him to sputter off excuses and tell his s/o to stop messing with him. He presses his knuckles to his cheeks, hoping that his hands are cold enough to soothe the fluster in his face. It’s one of the cutest ways to see him, and he’ll be a little grumpy for the rest of the day. Grumpy Porco means Pouty Porco, so his s/o is going to have fun teasing him about it.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Porco takes every opportunity he can to hold his s/o. It’s an unspoken taboo to display too much affection in public where he’s from, so in the beginning, he was shy. His s/o made his heart beat too fast and his hands would get clammy, so he tried to keep his distance. With some encouragement, Porco learned he rather enjoys being cuddled. Yes, he loves to be held and it’s comforting. Relaxing in their embrace helps him sort out his thoughts and calm down from a day of deliberating over whatever the next move against Paradis is.

As he gets used to affection, Porco is number one in constricting his s/o by the waist or laying on top of them so that they have a few more minutes of private time before they’re separated for the day. He enjoys these little wrestling matches with them more than his s/o will never know. 

He absolutely loves kisses. His favorite is to receive a smooch on the tip of his nose. He lashes out and tells them to stop treating him like a child, but he’s going to be thinking about it all day, so please, keep on keeping on. 

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

Ooh, this man is irritable beyond comprehension. Any little mishappening will set him off. Those close to him (namely, the other warriors, since he’s not exactly close to him) have adapted to this shift of his and have taken a liking to teasing him. He tries to keep to himself, but he can’t control that hot head of his which gets him into even hotter water at times if the wrong person is caught in his onslaught.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lengths for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Porco’s headstrong and sure of himself in every way. His loyalty knows no bounds, so being sure that his s/o is an important figure in his life means that he’s willing to risk his life for them if need be. He’s limited to the hold of his duty as a warrior, but make no mistake-- he is going to come up with a way to get around policies to ensure his s/o is safe. He takes risks when it comes to his s/o, because he’s desperately protective of one of the few goods things he has going on in his life. 

[thegothicviking]

As re-entering a link from herzeleid.com never seem to work (??) I usually copy and paste the actual text. Remember a transcription of Flake chatting with fans that I posted from early 00'? Before this Paul had a similar if not the same chat. I have already too long post in tumblr now so it will be broken down in 2 parts!

PAUL CHAT WITH FANS part I

Transcribed by Jeremy Williams

Taken from Rammstein.com chat

October 26 , 2005

_____________________________

Mod: Hello to you all. Thanks for coming out. Paul will be here in just a few minutes. And then we're going to get started.

Paul: Let's go!

niti: +++

Mod: Sorry, there was a technical problem. But the chat will start soon.

niti: +++

**atomrt: how do you chose the sounds for each song because all of them fit perfectly?**

Paul: Thanks a lot! Sometimes that works out well, sometimes not so well.+++

**maria: Your album covers have always sparked a lot of controversy. Which cover is your favourite and why?**

Paul: The cover for Sehnsucht was the most dramatic in my opinion.+++

**Benzramm: What was coming out of the fake penis during the live act "Bück Dich"? **

Paul: That was water with Ouzo to make it milky.+++

**Beurgueur: Good evening, Have you ever thought to write a metal-opera based on rammstein’ story?**

Paul: Hopefully not. We have enough theater elements already.+++

**MafiUndomiel: I was at River Plate Stadium in Argentina, 1999, when you toured with KISS. You did almost surpassed KISS music and show with your impact, and many people was really impressed. I still remember the silence during Du Hast, as Till was singing the refrain. What do you remember of Argentina, of this show? **

Paul: Yeah, that was unbelievable. It's a shame that we can't play in South America this time. Flake was seriously ill.+++

**MafiUndomiel: Did Till write Te Quiero Puta on his own, or had some kind of external help? I know it's not very complicated, nor elaborated in the lyrics, but it's not easy to put two or three sentences together if you don't know the language... believe me! I'm still trying with German!**

Paul: He had some help from his girlfriend and from Flake's friend from Chile.

Paul: But Till can already speak Spanish so well that he only had a few questions about grammar.+++

**monkeyman: What type of gear do you use when recording in the studio?**

Paul: This would take two hours to list. Too much for now. Sorry.+++

**Hugo: Why did you choose almost the same cover for the japanese version of Reise, Reise and Rosenrot? **

Paul: Because we thought it would be a shame to use the cover only for the Japanese edition.+++

**MafiUndomiel: There are many bands that edited DVD and VHS with the footage they got when they recorded their albums, the creative process and all that stuff. Since many R+ fans are really interested in knowing "Rammstein's kitchen", have you considered releasing something of that kind?

** Paul: I filmed some of the footage during Reise, Reise and it will come out sometime on a DVD as bonus material.+++

**blastedop: What happened to Live DVD? It was delayed? **

Paul: Yeah a little bit, but we're going to try to do it this year.+++

**MafiUndomiel: I wanted to know how did you put your setlists together when you go to a country you've never been... you mix old and new material, or you prefer to show your new material above all, and play only the "classics"? **

Paul: We play a mix of both old and new.+++

**Jenna: As you are possibly the most successful band from Germany (singing in German) that you are expected to represent German music and culture to the rest of the world? **

Paul: It was never our plan to play all over the world.

Paul: Sometimes we wonder ourselves how this all happened.+++

**beurgueur: what american film director would you enjoy to make a ckip with **

Paul: Tarantino.+++

**Benzramm: Did you ever get hurt when you were working with fire on the live acts ? **

Paul: Sometimes.+++

**aeon: One Rammstein member said you had a movie project with Werner Herzog. Do you think this project will be carried out and would you like to act in something different from Rammstein videos ? **

Paul: It's been awhile with WErner herzog. Maybe it will work out, there's still a plan to do it.

Paul: +++

**Rammsteinizied: Dear Paul: What is your favorite live performance effect? (like the flamethrowes in Feuer frei or the bow in DRSG) **

Paul: The nose flame throwers that we use in Feuer frei!+++

**MafiUndomiel: Which was your first guitar? Do you still own it? **

Paul: It was a Telecaster copy. A cheap one. I gave away my first guitars at an auction for a good cause. No idea whether it worked out.+++

**Straya: This has been in my mind for a while now, and I must ask. From the sample songs on the official site, it seems Rosenrot might be your 'hardest/loudest' albums, the songs seem 'hard', in a way, like Ich Will, Feuer Frei, and Mein Teil; what do you think of this? **

Paul: I don't think so. There are fewer sequences so the guitars come out better.+++

**Synthema: Do you still feel that being in Rammstein is almost like being in a six-way marriage? Does the band still function as a tight a unit or have things drifted apart? **

Paul: Yeah.

Paul: We're still together. Knock on wood. We've been together for 10 years and now that we've gone through our crisis, we feel better than ever.

Paul: We've got money, success, beautiful women and all the rest.

Paul: Things can only get worse.+++

**Jenna: Do you think your videos help to stop you taking yourselves too seriously? **

Paul: We've always taken ourselves less seriously than many people think. our best friends know this.

Paul: At the moment, we don't feel like making any humouress videos.+++

**whiskeypapa: When writing a song, how many/what kinds of revisions does the song go through before finally making it onto an album? **

Paul: Some songs make it out directly as we conceived them. With other songs, we make 20 versions and they still don't make it.

Paul: +++

**Noora: HI! I'm a fashion and design student from Finland and I was wondering about your stage costumes...How much do you participate in the designing and making of the outfits that you use on your tours? I understand that every album has its own look. Do you first design the outline of the look as a band and hen consult a designer and maker? Thanx and welcome back to Finland! :)**

Paul: Most ideas come directly from the band. For the last outfit, we had the idea to combine Bavarian folkloric outfits with industrial.

Paul: Because Bavarian folklore is not very cool and we like to mix things that you're not supposed to.+++

**Beurgueur: Have you ever thought in what your life would be now if rammstein never was created?**

Paul: No. We don't think that way.+++

**minx: It’s been stated in several interviews that the band has two pyromaniacs in the group, but is there anyone who is not so fond of fire?**

Paul: Everybody in the band has a different specialty.

Paul: Each of us is really equally important.

Paul: It doesn'T matter what each does, it could be better when two are on vacation during preparation and actually help us to make a good video this way.+++

**Badeend: Who thinks of the titles of the cd's? Is it some kind of democraty or is it 1 man that decides?**

Paul: We make the decision as a group but it's not really a democracy. More like a board of directors.+++

**Biz: How have older industrial bands (such as Laibach or KMFDM) influenced you?**

Paul: A lot.

Paul: Also Ministry.+++

**minx: What is the oily black/brown liquid that you are all covered with on stage? Is it a fire retardant liquid?**

Paul: No.

Paul: That's a secret.+++

**minx: Why did you wear a paper bag over your head at the concert in Tallin, last November?**

Paul: I wanted to display an Iraqi prisoner.

Paul: There's a photo of a guy behind barbed wire and he's holding his son but he has a bag on his head.

Paul: That photo really had an impact on me.+++

**aeon: Why do you only do signing sessions in London and Paris? Why not in other big cities f Europe or even Germany? Or is anything planned? **

Paul: Actually we've only planned for Paris. London snuck in at the last minute.

Paul: I don't know any more signing sessions details right now.+++

**Badeend: Did you take gitar lessons or did you teach it on your self?**

Paul: Self-taught.

Paul: +++

**minx: I am going to be at the signing in London on Sunday. Do you enjoy doing those types of promotional events or are they just ‘hard work’?**

Paul: Sometimes it's a lot of fun but other times it can be exhausting.+++

**Synthema: It could be said that the "Rosenrot" photos are quite a departure image-wise from what one would expect from the band. Was this something that was decided by the band for a particular reason, or is this the sort of decision that is out of your hands? Does your management or record label have much control over how you present yourselves, or is that left to you?**

Paul: We don't like to repeat ourselves.

Paul: Usually the band always has the last word on these amtters. But weR'e not always interested in all of the details.+++

**Badeend: What is the new instrument you used in the song Te Quiero Puta?**

Paul: Trumpet.+++

**beurgueur: do you think you'll be on stage again when you'll be 60? (like rolling stones for example...)**

Paul: Hopefully somebody will die first. Then we won'T have to worry about that.+++

**minx: Do you do you all do own make-up for the shows?**

Paul: Yes.+++

**OK-River: Will Rammstein play again "Bück Dich" in a concert, or it is something of the past?**

Paul: I wouldn't say no.+++

**blastedop: Rosenrot is so diferent from Reise Reise. How is this possible if these songs are from Reise Reise recording season?**

Paul: I don'T think so. Listen to the whole album.+++

**Benzramm: Are you a sort of scared when flake is going with his boat in the public ? **

Paul: No.

Paul: But it was always Oli last year.+++

**whiskeypapa: Which of your songs invokes the most emotion from you?**

Paul: Seemann.+++

**MsBehaviour: Greetings from Finland and good evening! My question is, you have been playing together as a band for quite a many years now, and there is a big difference in the sound of Herzeleid and the sound of Reise Reise. Does this "evolution" come naturally to you, or do you make conscious decisions as to where to direct your sound? How do you feel about the change?**

Paul: There are some of us who want to stay the same.

Paul: There's some of us who want to always change.

Paul: These parties fight each other and the result is a new album or a black eye.+++

**MafiUndomiel: Have you heard a cover version of Keine Lust made by a Russian guy called Miguel? What did you think about it?**

Paul: Not yet, unfortunately.+++

**Badeend: Do you have a private jet or do you have to rent a plane?**

Paul: When the record company pays, we fly Business. When we have to pay, it'S Tourist class. Sometimes, when the connections are difficult, we rent a litlle jet.+++

**luna: First "Snow White" now "Rose Red". Do the members of Rammstein have a fondness for fairytales?**

Paul: Who doesn't?+++

**Synthema: Do you still enjoy performing live after all these years, or is it more of a chore now?**

Paul: If we didn't like it, we wouldn't have been around so long.+++

**Benzramm: Is there a double meaning in the songtexts of your songs ? **

Paul: Yeah. But the subtleties and double-meanings get lsot in translation.+++

**Badeend: What is your favorite song or cd?**

Paul: Kill Bill 1.+++

**DRS2G: Is "Hilf Mir" inspired by a Heinrich Hoffmann's tale?!**

Paul: Yes.+++

**Synthema: Have you ever felt that the success of Rammstein has been a negative thing for you in your personal life? That it makes it difficult to decide who to trust and who not to?**

Paul: It is difficult to stay normal despite money and success.

Paul: We fight this on a daily battle but we usually win.+++

**Beurgueur: from a viewer: what guitar do you use for your c tuning, and what guitar does richard use for this?**

Paul: I play a Gibson Les Paul and Richard plays ESP guitars.+++

**Benzramm: Did you really go to the mountains for the videoclip "Ohne Dich"?**

Paul: Yes. The was the funnest video of them all.

Paul: The thin air up there was difficult.

Paul: I'm impressed by mountain climbers who go even higher.

Paul: It was difficult for our crew and us.+++

**MafiUndomiel: how did you and richard decided who was going to be lead and who rythm guitars?**

Paul: Good question.

Paul: We're both stubborn.

Paul: It's a fight every time but we're still doing alright up to now.

Paul: Actually, the winner is supposed to be the one who plays the best solo.+++

**Badeend: Do you still have to take guitar lessons to play better?**

Paul: No.+++

**blastedop: Do you visit fansites? How about a Top 10 Fansites in the official page?**

Paul: From time to time.+++

**Badeend: Why did you pick just that girl for the Texas vocal in Stirb nich vor Mir?**

Paul: It was our producer's idea.+++

**MafiUndomiel: Paul, is there any country that you´d like to visit or going on tour, and you haven´t yet? Why?**

Paul: Yes, we would love to go to Turkey, Mongolia, Iraq. We know we've got lots of fans there.+++

**Jenna: Which current musicians (Not youselves, I'm sorry) do you think are creating the best work at the moment?**

Paul: System of a Down, Muse, Snoop Doggy Dog, Eminem, Slip Knot, etc.+++

**Rammsteinizied: Dear Paul, How do you feel about us fans?**

Paul: It's an honour.+++

**Minx: Do you have a favourite guitar part in a particular song you really enjoy?**

Paul: +++

**DRS2G: Will "Rosenrot" be the 2nd single from your new album?!**

Paul: Yes.+++

**Straya: I'm wondering how this question has not come up yet... but, plenty of people are asking if you guys will tour in America and Canada. I don't mean for this to be one of those annoying questions. But, has anything be talked about?**

Paul: I'm certain that we'll tour North and South America with our next album.+++

**rammsteinuk: I read in a recent interview that there were some arguments within the band during the production of 'Mutter'. Have there been any more strong disagreements like this since?

**Paul: Thankfully not. There's always stress when six stubborn people meet, but nothing serious.+++

**minx: Most influential musician on yourself?**

Paul: Laibach, Ministry, Metallica, Nirvana.+++

**blastedop: Did you like Benzin video? Schneider didnt.**

Paul: I don't think it's that bad.

Paul: We've had three really good videos in a row, so it'S hard to keep the standards so high.

Paul: I'm glad that there's some variation, next time we'll improve.+++

**whiskeypapa: First, Reise Reise saw a "country moment" with Los, and now Rosenrot has Te Quiero Puta. If you could make a fusion of Rammstein and any other world music (for fun), what would it be?**

Paul: Yes, I interested in all combinations of things that don'T fit together.+++

**Biz: Are there any downsides to being famous?**

Paul: We're famous but we can still buy groceries in Berlin without bodyguards.

Paul: We've got nothing to complain about.

Paul: Our band is famous around the world but we still have normal lives, thank God.+++

**minty: Paul are you looking forward to the world cup next year? who will win?**

Paul: Yes. It doesn'T look good for Germany right now.

Paul: I hope that a miracle happens.+++

**aeon: Do you hope your music will still be appreciated in many years from now or it doesn't matter to you ?**

Paul: I think that we're relatively timeless.

Paul: But that'S probably what every band thinks and two years later nobody cares ...+++

**DRS2G: Was it good to be directed by Jonas Akerlund?!**

Paul: Yes, he's just a cool guy.+++

[wolf-stark]

You ask I deliver — both tfatws asks in one!

tfatws weekly ask 1

i finally saw ep1!! i wont be able to see ep2 until thursday at the earliest but i already have some Thots on this ep. here are the ones I remember

first is, and i'm so sorry for this, a grammar lesson. an appositive is when you stick an additional phrase in between commas, dashes, or the like. i actually just used one! the "and i'm so sorry for this" in the first sentence of this paragraph is an appositive. thing is, most english speakers don't normally use them when they speak, only in writing. so i'm always on high alert whenever i hear somebody in tv or movies use one. (it's generally a marker of bad screenwriting). anyway there was one right in the beginning of the episode. the white army guy yelling at sam wilson said "first lieutenant Torres, our intel officer, will be helping on the ground." yeah so. the writing of this series started out on the wrong foot for me. but the rest of the episode was obviously tons and tons better (every interview i see with malcolm spellman makes me love him more and more)

the contrast between the opening minutes (falcon action sequence) and the rest of the ep.... i would 100000/10 rather watch a series with just sam and bucky dealing with life. i dont give a single crap about the flag-smashers or any of that. i just want sam, sarah & fam getting their boating business back on the ground & yeeting racist dickwads, bucky going through therapy and making amends, sam and joaquin being bros, sambucky homoerotic tension, etc.

the cinnamontography! wandavision mostly used cinematography to signify era n stuff. tfatws doesn't have wv's premise to go off of, so here's some tricks i noticed:

with sam there's obviously all sorts of shots with the captain america iconography next to his face, but he hasn't totally claimed it. there's the mural of steve rogers in the background; there's sam staring into the shield like it's a spectre of steve's face; there's sam looking into the exhibit, the shield and sam separated by glass and a layer of camera focus. steve is a constant spectre, always there, an idea, a symbol himself. sam's relationship with this iconography is distanced. he is separated by glass exhibit walls. by painting canvases. he doesn't yet feel worthy to take on that iconography. this whole thing was pulled off quite well but also a bit on-the-nose if only in quantity. there's just sooooo much fancy iconography stuff

speaking of the exhibit, there's something that i get real pissy about. it's when like, there's an action going on you're supposed to be paying attention to but the cinematographer is like,,,, hey! check out this location! or this headline! or something! there was a lot of that in the exhibit. the camera was like, you could focus on sam and rhodey's convo (which was fine but could have been so much better with an extra like 10 minutes of deep character study talk) but noooo you want me to look at the symbol for the united nations and read all the text about bucky who hasn't even showed up yet. shut up i know the lore and ill watch the shot-by-shot breakdown yt vids you don't have to make the shot this long jkdsalcjklasejf

my fav trick was with bucky and the therapist. i had seen a clip of the scene with bucky and the therapist beforehand and i thought the cinnamontography was super obnoxious, but then i was like, oh duh. the shots frequently change the distance between the camera and its subject. sometimes it's uncomfortably close and sometimes it's really far. a clear allegory for the duality of therapy, esp for bucky! therapy is an invasive process wherein he is ruthlessly examined, picked apart, and berated for his trauma (this therapist is crap in every way btw, "mean therapist" works for greg house and greg house only). so the camera goes close. it makes the viewer claustrophobic like bucky. but when he's like "no i haven't had any nightmares" the camera suddenly goes really far. we see bucky as this tiny head in the center of the bottom of the frame. we are distanced from him. he has pushed us away. we cannot see him. he lies because he is vulnerable. so yeah, amazing work there. the therapy scene was hard to watch on purpose!

did bucky slip a note to yori inside the dollar bill? bucky stop making me emooooo. the suuper awkward fake smile has me 😭 (veteran trying to adjust!)

mark my worrrrds when sam asks someone y the govt picked john “white bread” walker they’re gonna say “we needed somebody everyone can get behind....someone uncontroversial, someone everyone can see themselves in” like that exact racist dog whistle

tfatws weekly ask 2

just saw ep2 so im taking advantage of the 2 seconds i can be on tumblr without worrying about tfatws spoilers before new episode drops

when isaiah said "your people put me in prison for being a hero" and bucky thought "your people" means hydra. 🤦‍♂️

speaking of racism, the interplay between sam being Black (anti-Black racism) and sam being the Falcon (negrophilia, "can i take a selfie w you as i deny you a loan?") and the intersection between the two (j*hn lichrally called sam "steve's wingman"! he takes the crypto out of crypto-racist in like 2 seconds!) !!!!!!!! a Black celebrity's Black experience, the separation of man and identity!!!! (thinking about vanessa bayer in snl in that skit "beyonce is black" telling her black friend "you're not black, you're...my girl!")

after sam gets racially profiled by cops we see j*hn standing in front of cop cars cinematic parallels turns out j*hn is racist who knew

this therapist sucks major ass but she got bucky and sam together in the same room and ready to collaborate...that's something ig. it was lichrally couple's therapy she said she used her miracle exercise with couples sambucky antis get blended

bucky says "he was wrong about you so maybe he was wrong about me"...that's not how people talk. when therapist asks bucky, the guy who doesn't talk at all about himself, "y do you hate sam", the last thing bucky's gonna do is actually connect his hatred of sam to his own self-worth issues. bucky generally refuses to talk about himself, so why would he talk about himself in the one context that nobody ever links back to their own neuroses: hatred of other people? one thing human beings hate most is admitting we're wrong. admitting you hate someone because of your own issues? that's a major therapeutic step. bucky would absolutely have to be prompted to do that. even like one or two lines of dialogue more would have set up that line better. but in terms of the actual thought? an amazing way to take the sam/bucky relationship. bucky bases his self-worth on steve believing in him, and if steve is wrong bucky has no self-worth, so 1) he has to develop self-worth disassociated from steve's assessment of him and 2) he has to love himself before he can love sam, and 3) he has to realize that sam giving up the shield is a sign of sam's humility not his unworthiness.

conversely, we don't get into why sam hates bucky? yeah sam has the right to hate a guy that has tried to kill him (albeit while brainwashed) multiple times, and now shows up in his life just to bash him but. everything happens so fast i cant follow their relationship

in fact i dont feel like i understood much of anything. like y did bucky and sam go on that mission together? how connected are sam/bucky/joaquin with the government? doesn't bucky just want to retire now? literally what is everyone doing/feeling and why???

if battlestar becomes a knowing commentary on the black best friend stereotype i'm gonna party, but i dont expect much of that

the interplay between man and symbol. captain america is obviously a symbol. the shield is obviously a symbol. but steve rogers? the. man behind the cowl? he too seems to become a symbol. a paragon of a good guy, so good he's unreachable. steve was just a guy stop idolizing him the last thing steve would want is to be idolized

as the resident musician/music nerd on mcublr, 1) that captain america rally music slaps, but 2) re: the song at the end of the ep, if you're just gonna rip off mozart's lacrymosa then at least play mozart's lacrymosa. we wont blame you the lacrymosa slaps (if you dont know what im talking about go on yt and search it up youll recognize it fo sho

look i love enfys nest as much as the next guy but if tfatws is gonna get erin kellyman to play another innocent little gurl blackmailed into the fakeout-villain position (her text seemed to suggest as such) then 😡 like why can't women just....be evil? young, freckly, innocent-looking women? girls are not untouchable pure objects but full of rage and resentment just as much as anyone can be

bonus ep1 comment: bucky says about that senator whose car he hijacked, "she continued to abuse the power i gave her." fictionaldarling on yt say that he says "i" because he can't disassociate himself from his winter soldier persona which begets endless and senseless guilt. like dude. can i not be emo for like 1 second.

OKay. First off, as much I enjoy your sending it to me, what made you decide to send me these??

-

TFATWS WA #1

Don't worry about getting this to me as early as possible. I usually don't watch the episode right away.

1. Cool writing lesson.

2. Everyone wants a comedy show [like Friends] about the MCU superheroes.

3. Cinematography is always a beautiful thing.

4. Sam definitely has to carve his own Captain America status for himself, outside of Steve's ya know everything.

5. They have to do that for people who was just now tuning in because they're in love with Sam Wilson or Sharon Carter.

6. I think the therapist was taking a 'tough love' approach for Bucky, because she likely has some very strong opinions about the literal assassin she's been assigned to give therapy too. She did not choose to talk to him, she was assigned that make that clear in the second episode.

And, Bucky isn't lying when he said it wasn't a nightmare. It wasn't a nightmare, it was a resurfaced memory. So, technically he wasn't lying - and yes, the camera does move away because while he's saying he didn't have a nightmare, he's not expanding on what actually happened - so, he's still pushing the therapist/us away.

7. Bucky, and Steve, have/had a TON to adjust to.

8. Yeah, I agree that will be the bullshit line they give. If they ever actually talk about it.

TFATW WA #2

Yeah, always got to take advantage of avoiding those spoilers lmfaoo.

1. Honestly, that line was double meaning. Both about White people and Hydra [which is made up of mostly white supremacists/nazis] So, the line is gesturing to both White People in general and Hydra assholes together. I think the terminology is “double edge sword”??

2. This whole paragraph structure confused me, ngl - so I'm going to answer it the best I can. I do like that they're not ignoring the fact that Sam being Black is 1000% the reason he's not the Official Captain America - because the gov't is racist as hell.

I also like the little lines about how they point out little things about Sam's Falcon persona, like that kid calling him 'Black Falcon' specifically and Sam's response show the split between Sam and Falcon itself.

John is a dick for calling Sam the wingman of Steve Rogers. Sam was a hero all on his own before Steve asked him to join up again. [Side note, it's lichrally??]

3. Exactly, the parallel of Sam being profiled and surrounded while just on the street and John being surrounded by fans and being able to spring Bucky with apparently only a few sentences shows a Loooooot

4. Honestly, at this point I wonder if she's not actually a therapist and is just an agent assigned to assess Bucky outside of an Official Building. I do know, however, that her 'look at each other and speak' exercise is actually a real therapy practice. It's just a little slower.

5. Actually, I think he would've blurted that out. That whole line. I don't think Bucky hates Sam. I think they could've done the scene better, but I think that had Sam prodded him/the therapist been more annoying Bucky would've lost control of his emotions and blurted out the whole "If he was wrong about you, he was wrong about me" but I feel like the writing for this show is just... not there. Sometimes you blurt shit when you get overemotional and I think that was what Bucky was supposed to be like.

6. I don't think Sam hates Bucky, I think he doesn't trust him though. I do wish they'd talked about that though. The whole 'talk to each other' scene should've been a LOT longer and a LOT slower.

7. Sam and Bucky's relationship is being fast tracked because they don't really know how to work the relationship out, writers-room-wise. Bucky is technically retired, but I feel like he's trying to live up to Steve's expectations and doing what Steve would've done and we all know that if Steve was there, Steve would've jumped on that plane with Sam. It looks like Sam/Bucky/Joaquin are a side-team based from Military services but as Sam says they're all free agents so...?

8. Sadly, They seem to just be propping up to be another stereotype.

9. Captain America is a symbol. Steve Rogers is a man. But now Steve Rogers is an idol because of all the shit he's been through and honestly, it's not a bad thing he's become an idol for people - it's using Steve as a reason to make White Bread Walker the next Captain that makes Steve's idolization so fucked.

10. I don't know anything about music so I have no opinion here, sorry.

11. Enfys?? Also, I think they did the whole Innocent Girl Thing as side commentary for Bucky lowering his guard about seeing a young girl rather than a guy.

12. Bucky is the Winter Solider. The Winter Solider is Bucky. That is how Bucky will always see it because although he was brainwashed, it was still him and he remembers all of it. When you have constant memories of something 'someone else' did, you tend to not be able to pull the two personas out of each other. I want Bucky to take up the title, White Wolf instead of Winter Soldier. Honest.

This is all my opinion, I’m honestly a little disappointed with the writing of TFATWS so far so... I’m not really optimistic about this.

[fierce-little-miana]

Some translated extracts from “Medea” by Nancy Peña and Blandine le Callet

For @irleughlivelyatalanteangodfan

Médée is a French comic book series following Medea’s story from her childhood in Colchis to her very probable death since an old (apparently believing she is at the end of her life) Medea is the narrator.

Here are the cover or the first three volumes:

- 1) The shadow of Hecate: deals with Medea’s childhood in Colchis and closes on her watching the Argonauts’ boat approaching her kingdom’s shores. 

- 2) The knife in the wound: concentrates entirely on the Jason and Medea’s encounter, the theft of the Golden Fleece, and their escape from Colchis. The last scene of this volume is Apsyrtus’ murder/death.

- 3) The Barbaric bride: deals with Medea and Jason’s ‘proper’ wedding and the events of Iolcus. The volume closes on Medea and Jason running away from their failed coup, Medea discovering she is pregnant, and them deciding to go to Corinth.

(sorry in advance for the quality of the pictures - nevertheless clic on the pictures for better quality) 

This is the genealogy the authors chose for Medea:

Volume 1:

This is literally the second page of the comic and this how a beaten-down old Medea is presented

1 - Chloé (Medea’s servant - apparently dying): A bit more water Mistress please.

2 - Medea: No, it would serve no purpose.

3 - Chloé: I am afraid.

4 - Medea: It will be over soon.

5 - Chloé: Mistress please stay with me a bit more.

6 - Medea: You know this isn’t possible. I still have a long road to travel.

7 - Chloé: Goodbye Mistress.

8 - Medea: Goodbye Chloé 

9 - Medea* thinking: ... and forgive me to not have the strength to bury you.

In the following pages Medea is playing with her nephews (who are her ages) and brother. Then she is embroidering with her mother and sister while her brother is getting cuddles from their mother. As a bit of context: Medea’s father, Aeëtes, is a tyran who resents his son-in-law and grandsons. Medea doesn’t consciously knows it but I really read it as her unconsciously knowing it. Apsyrtus has a mental disability and also suffers from epilepsy. 

(Here I only translated the dialogues that really show Medea’s personality)

1 - Medea: We are giants. We are climbing the tree to reach the gods and kick their asses!

2 - Phrixus, her brother-in-law: Well this is a way of speaking that doesn't suit a princess. I am not sure your father would like it.

3 - Medea: In any case we are gods too.

4 - Phrixus* commenting on Medea’s fall: Ah ah! Gods too must be careful.

5 - Phrixus to his sons: Boys, would you like some archery lesson. It’s been a long time since you last practiced.

6 - Medea’s nephew: Yeah!

7 - Medea: And me, can I come?

8 - Medea’s nephew: You, you are a girl. Archery is not for girls.

9 - Medea: And why couldn’t I use a bow?

10 - Phrixus: Argos is right Medea. Archery is not for girls.

11 - Phrixus to Apsyrtus who grabbed his sleeves:  No, not you Apsyrtus. You might hurt yourself... or someone else.

(the non-translated bubbles on the second pages are Medea’s sister, Chalciope, giving her embroidery advise and king Aeëtes criticizing his wife for cuddling their sons who should be acting and treated like the other boys.)

12 - Aeëtes to Chalciope: Where are your sons?

13 - Chalciope: With their father...

14 - Medea: They went to practice archery. And they didn’t want to bring me with them.

15 - Aeëtes: This is normal daughter.

16 - Medea: They didn’t want to bring Apsyrtus either.

The horror on the faces of Chalciope and Queen Idyia tells us that Aeëtes hearing of the exclusion of Apsyrtus by Phrixus will be of consequences. Medea only mentioned her brother’s exclusion to her father after her own failed to create any outrage in him.

At this point in the story Medea is the only person who isn’t terrified of Aeëtes mainly because she is his favorite child that he calls “his ray of sunshine”. 

In the following scene a teenage Medea invited her nephew Argos (who has never been there) to come with her to her father library. They discovered a map.

1 - Argos: “This map has been drawn as precisely as possible by Sesostris, King of Egypt, great traveler and conqueror of the world, founder of the kingdom of Colchis, builder of the city of Aea.” What is this? I thought it was your father who founded Aea?

2 - Medea: I thought that too.

3 - Argos: If you want my opinion the King cultivates a lot of legends about his person.

4 - Medea: If you want my opinion you will keep that for yourself.  

By asking her nephew to keep quiet about this document that proves that her father is lying Medea is of course trying to protect him from her father’s tyranny that she is starting to see, but also trying to protect her father’s reign and her own divine ancestry. 

I am not putting any extract from volume two, for length reason, but it is very intense. We have Medea doing some badass magic/chemist stuff to get the fleece. We also have her going against her father while in the first volume she let him murder her brother-in-law and stand by watching even if her sister had made her swear to help Phrixus. This is supported by her mother in a hidden-manner who doesn’t want that Medea to have her life ruin like her brother and sister did. There is of course Jason and Medea’s meeting and alliance. Medea is taking a definitively non-Greek non-womanly approach to it and Jason is liking it and respecting it. And of course Apsyrtus’ murder which is absolutely horrible to read.

Volume 3:

Here Jason, Orpheus and another Argonaut are discussing what to do with Medea just after their escape from Colchis

1 - Orpheus: The Colchians are still on our tracks. There are hundred of them heavily armed. Do you realize what would happen if they caught us?

2 - Orpheus: We should give them the girl.

3 - Other Argonaut: Yes, we should leave her here, running away discreetly and unseen, while she is asleep.

4 - Jason: Abandoning Medea wouldn’t change anything... What the Colchians want back his the Golden Fleece.

5 - Orpheus: You don't know that. Maybe it would appease them if we give them back their princess... What do we have to lose from this?

6 - Jason: I made a promise.

7 - Other Argonaut: She made you promise, it is very different! Jason let’s leave this girl here and go back to Greece. She is a barbarian, we owe her nothing.

8 - Jason: She helped us.

9 - Orpheus: Maybe but she now puts us in danger. Most of the men agree on this: we must hand her over.

10 - Jason: This is out of question.

11 - Orpheus: What is the issue with this girl? If she was beautiful at least I would understand, but she is a real savage!

12 - Other Argonaut: It is as if she has bewitched you.

13 - Jason: Enough! Medea will stay with us. This discussion is over. Now go to sleep, I will keep the watch alone. 

I think it is interesting to show Jason as something else than a coward and an opportunist. This volume also doesn’t forget that he is a pupil of Chiron and that he is a healer. Medea is really interested in learning from him too.

I found this scene on internet without the text so you will have to believe me on the translations. But, since it is one of my favorite pages, I am happy it is in good quality. Here Medea feels trapped living the life of a Greek woman in Iolcus an start talking to her consciousness which takes the shape of her snake bracelet. For extra creepy factor, she is lying next to an asleep Jason here:

1 - Snake: Good news? It is not likely to happen! Pelias will always find a reason to not hand over power to Jason.

2 - Medea: He was supposed to officially proclame him king two days ago, but someone found a crow on a statue in the throne room and this bad omen prevented the assembly to be in session.

3 - Snake: Before that it was a black dog which spilled the content of a stall in the market! Then it will be some bees deciding to live on the roof of a temple. Pelias is laughing at you.

4 - Medea: He will never give his power away. By pretending to not understand and by staying passive Jason is ridiculing himself.

5 - Snake: That’s true!

6 - Medea: Every time I try discussing this with him, he rebuffs me by saying that I do no understand anything about politic and that we must be patient.

7 - Snake: He is wrong.

8 - Medea: I can’t stand it anymore. I feel like I am going mad.

9 - Snake: No, you just feel a bit lonely.

10 - Snake: But don’t worry.

11 - Snake: I am going to stay with you to keep you company.

I really like how Medea’s own darkness is visually slowly strangulating her and taking over her. And how her loneliness and confinement makes her more ruthless, but slowly so very slowly.

Finally this is the final page of the third volume. Medea remembers how Jason made her promise to throw away all her poisons and potions to avoid a new epic failure like in Iolcus and also because she is pregnant and that it is time for her to accept to live like a ‘proper’ Greek wife. Medea promises and throw most of her stuff in the sea very theatrically. We cut back to old Medea narrating:

1 - Medea: Yes I was pregnant, the only reason why I wielded to his demands...

2 - Medea: ... Or rather made him believed I did.

3 - Medea: The only thing I sacrificed for him this night was the heavy crown I put in the casket he saw me throw in the sea.

4 - Medea: My drugs stayed carefully hidden in my luggages, ready to be used again, if the need was to arise.

So yeah I really like the take of these comic books on Medea’s story and Medea’s personality, her family and Jason. If you read French I really advise you to pick it up, or if you like looking at pretty pictures it works too.

The next and final volume is coming out in 8 days and it looks fantastic!

Volume 4: Flesh and Blood

[duanecbrooks]

Gabby and Hodie: You're Number One     You may recall that, in a past article, I laid out what are my all-time favorite literary creations. You my also recall that I said that the books that I picked as my all-time etc. are those once and for all categorically and for all time. Well, what's happened is, upon further reflection--and upon my dear, warm, sweet,loving cousin Emily's words to me (surely I don't have to tell you what they were) further coming to fruition--I've come to realize my real and true all-time favorite literary offering. And it's a tie between the women's-beach-volleyball sex boat Gabrielle Reece's ("with" Karen Karbo) life-lessons guide My Foot Is Too Big For The Glass Slipper: A Guide to the Less-Than-Perfect Life and the Today-show's-Fourth-Hour gal Hoda Kotb's ("with" Jane Lorenzini) personal/professional memoir Hoda: How I Survived War Zones, Bad Hair, Cancer, and Kathie Lee.               Allow me to say here that in coming to said realization, I had to dump quite a lot of weight. At first I thought that the former television-morning-show host Rene Syler's ("with" Karen Moline) parenting guide Good-Enough Mother: The Perfectly Imperfect Book of Parenting deserved to make the aforementioned list. However, further pondering has caused me to realize that, as humorous and as charming as Syler's tome is, in the final analysis it has to do with the doings of children and with the raising of children--and as much as I love kids and love reading/seeing what it is kids have to say, an entire book centering on them is simply not my aesthetic. For a while I sincerely believed that How to Lose Everything In Politics (Except Massachusetts), the then-journalist Kristi Witker's inside-the-1972-McGovern-presidential-try memoir, merited making the cut. Yet in time I remembered that, ever since 1976, when Carter won the White House and kicked Ford and all those other Nixon-era Republican third-raters out on their asses, my consistent interest in politics has majorly decreased--indeed, in the main I've come to sympathize with what the master TV interviewer Dick Cavett once told the 1960s/1970s far-left activist Jerry Rubin: "Politics bores the ass off me." Thus I've arrived at the conclusion that Witker's book, while it's chock-full of lively wit and penetrating insight, when all is said and done involves an area, namely politics, that on the whole has long stopped being my thing.                       OK. Now I'll go into why Reece's and Kotb's tomes have seized my heart.             .The front and back covers of both books are damned enticing. Both the front and the back covers of Reece's tome picture her with her intensely attractive offspring, both times sporting an insanely appealing bathing suit and both times showing off an insanely appealing pair of bare feet (The back cover of Reece's book clearly shows that she has an equally alluring stepdaughter). The front cover of Kotb's tome displays her dressed in a quite stylish blue pullover blouse and adorned in the kind of slacks that fully exhibit what her Today cohort Kathie Lee called her "long Egyptian legs and toes." (The fact that Kotb is wearing red toenail polish slightly takes away from her dazzling visual appeal, but only slightly) And on both the front and back covers there are the sort of endorsements that easily pull you in. On the back cover of Reece's tome the former television Friend Courteney Cox is quoted as asserting: "I read My Foot Is Too Big For The Glass Slipper in one sitting...Everyone who is married--or thinking about getting married--should read this." On the front cover of Kotb's book there are words from People Magazine ("Bubbly and engaging, just like its author") and from the greatly-lauded novelist Adriana Trigiani ("This book is a manual for overcoming obstacles and living life with passion and purpose...Hoda is the working girl's Cleopatra. She rules!").               .The prose of both tomes is colorful and lively. Both Reece's and Kotb's books feature the kind of writing that, upon seeing it, immediately rivet your eyes to the page. Upon seeing any page, its wording has you absolutely hooked, positively pleased to be in the company of such charming, sprightly gals, gals who obviously love life and do not hesitate to embrace it entirely. And, again, that feeling comes no matter what page of theirs you're on (Kathie Lee in her super-bestselling compilation of essays Just When I Thought I'd Dropped My Last Egg at one point said: "I love my new co-host Hoda Kotb. She is an absolute doll and so much fun to work with." The writing style of Hoda causes you to fervently agree with KLG's every syllable).               .Both women in their tomes have greatly witty and greatly incisive things to say. In both Glass Slipper and Hoda there's sparkling humor and eye-opening observations, whether Reece in her book is discoursing on how cathartic it can be for a parent to swear ("[A] little bit of cussing does wonders. The later in the day it is, or the earlier in the morning, the more important this is for your sanity, and to help you feel less like an underpaid servant and more like the sassy teenager that is still lurking somewhere inside your bill-paying, car seat-purchasing, sleep-deprived self") or her regular almost-all-women's exercise class ("Sometimes someone comes up to me after class and wants to pay me, or otherwise do something lavish to show her gratitude. I tell her, she's already doing it, by inspiring me with her commitment...When my women show up, day in, day out, with their great attitudes and their great energy, they don't realize that that's their gift to me") or her parenting style ("[Excessively spending time with electronic pleasures] messes with your head, and I don't want it for my kids...So I say no. A lot. And tell me I don't feel like a shit mom when little Brody, who's been cooperative all day, has a meltdown in the afternoon and sobs miserably, 'I. Just. Want. My. Electronics'") or whether it's Kotb in her tome telling of her lifelong struggle to establish her own identity (I will always be asked [as this one "older black woman" did while Kotb was in a phone booth making a call during her early days as a television journalist, taking Kotb's face in both hands and looking into her eyes] 'What is you?' And while I'll proudly explain I'm Egyptian...again, the answer in my head will always be: I'm just me") or acknowledging her refreshingly non-high-minded, purely self-serving motivation for going into and staying in TV news ("Procrastinating to me is simply a way to create a time crunch...After I phone in a takeout food order, I'll stay at work as long as possible, then race home to my apartment to meet up with the delivery guy...[T]elevision news is the perfect career for me. I need to know that my work day has a start and a fight to the finish. I'm competitive, persistent, and not afraid to risk being the hero or the goat when airtime hits") or the near-overwhelming thrill she felt when the Today show's Fourth Hour hosted the always-and-forever-bootylicious Queen Bey ("When Beyonce walked into the room, [Kathie Lee and I] were blown away by her beauty and her presence. She's about 5 feet 7, but her red heels added several inches. She wore a gorgeous short dress, designed in her favorite color, red. She was a knockout. Her frame is sexy and solid and she carries herself with confidence around every curve...Her words were laced with a touch of Texas twang (Beyonce was born and raised in Houston). As her people began touching up her hair and makeup, all I could think was, There's absolutely nothing wrong with her! Bring that stuff over here!"). After reading these books, you effortlessly feel invigorated because you spent quality time with two insightful, funny, considerably observant ladies who have, to quote a line from the classic 1960s song, "looked at life from both sides now" and are bright enough and centered enough to retain the lessons such observing has taught them.             Also: Both Reece and Kotb conclude their tomes in grand style. The former closes by assuring her readers that should they choose to assume the role of "queens" of their household, "[y]ou will live interestingly ever after." And she ends her "Acknowledgements" section by lauding her hubby, the professional surfer Laird Hamilton: "I cherish the gift of knowing you, your love, and your partnership. Oh, and when our girls [their daughters] are difficult, I do blame you for those traits." The latter, for her part, ends her book with a forward that itself finishes with her naming her "special wooden box" inside of which is the "letter that lists the three most important traits in my man" and assures us readers that "there's a chance it will end up accidentally buried by books, an over-sized tote bag, a plaque, or other random crap." Kotb's own "Acknowledgements" portion winds up with a fond shout-out to her "co-author," Jane Lorenzini, "the most brilliant writer I have ever known...Your dad was right. It has been an adventure...Your name should be bigger on the [front] cover. Oh, well...next book."           During the 1980s, it was Barbra Streisand who famously crooned, concerning creativity:                                                     "The art of making art                                                     is putting it together, bit by bit,                                                      Beat by beat, part by part,                                                        Sheet by sheet, chart by chart,                                                              Track by track, bit by bit,                                                          Reel by reel, pout by pout,                                                      Stack by stack, snit by snit,                                                          Meal by meal, shout by shout,                                                              Deal by deal, spat by spat,                                                          Spiel by spiel, doubt by doubt.                                                      And that is the state of the art."           To read the books of Gabrielle Reece and Hoda Kotb is to bring about enormous gratitude that said authors--and their ghostwriters--took the time and the trouble to put them together, employing every "bit," "beat," "part," "sheet," "chart," "track," "bit," "reel," "pout," "stack," "snit," "meal," "shout," "deal," "spat," "spiel," and "doubt" so that "the state of their art" would make them such eminently satisfying reading experiences.