#finally - something I won't delete because I'm actually proud of it

[sabohno]

So, this is mostly for me to look back on in the future or for anyone who wants to know my process for making this comic.

Officially, I started this project on September 9th, 2022. I did one page of thumbnails all in one sitting. Like this.

I didn't have a clear picture in my mind of what I wanted. I still can't see it even when thinking of how I wanted this project to look.

So, I sketched out the pages. The earliest ones I can think of. And then, I wrote down my first draft of the script.

... Why I thought I'd be done by Christmas, I do not know.

Added some more in October. And I thought that would be it. I changed my mind later, though, to include two more pages.

Then, I rewrote my script in March. This time, I added which pages they would go to instead of the jumbled mess draft 1 was.

After I shared my post with my new editor, who is not the one I directly mention, my old editor noted that I made some grammar mistakes. So, I double-checked the grammar and wording at my college library on September 17th with Grammarly.

… My house had no wifi, and I struggled to get it working. Yeah, it was a tough week from 9/17 to 9/21. I managed to get it done in the end, tho! I'm writing this process post on the 22nd anyway.

If you're wondering why you're not seeing all of it, it's because I'm not subjecting you to scrolling. It was copied from how I formatted it in the pages, so they're very spaced.

Oh right! I forgot. I used a LOT of references and put them in PureRef. (161 MB! Really huge for me.)

And finally, a video of the entire process. That is 158 images you are seeing because I forgot CSP has a timelapse function! If you pause, you can see those early sketches pop up before my latest work overtakes the rest of the process I entirely made up. I drew something with a night sky theme on a whim and went with it instead. (The effect is a crossfade from a gif maker before I put all the combined gifs for each page into a video. This. This is something I plan on never repeating.) Additional Edit for October 1st, 2023: I added a signature so you won't spot it in the video.

Takeaways (for me):

Don't bold so hard! Or maybe learn to bold correctly for next time.

More curvy lines?

Learn how to ink details.

Learn to draw humans more.

Try experimenting more with sketching.

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

To the person who sent me an ask worrying about this article from Consequence TV maybe being the start of OFMD being cancelled, I accidentally deleted it so I'm responding here!

Tl;dr: absent any other information, I'm not worried about it. When I first saw it, it was paired with a headline that said somehting along the the lines of "Taika Waititi hints he won't be returning for OFMD season 3," which seems to have changed and just isn't actually said anywhere in the article itself.

The first part of the article is immediately a bit scary:

When Consequence asks writer/director/actor Taika Waititi if he’s feeling optimistic about a third season of Our Flag Means Death, his initial response is this: “Have you seen the end?”

While this looks scary, I encourage you to stop, breathe for a moment, read that again: crucially, that's not really an answer to the fucking question, and it's presented without context or even any indication that was TW's full answer. It's such a vague opener and without any follow-up it's practically meaningless.

The next parts of the article that a lot of people are concerned about are these paragraphs:

Max has yet to announce plans for a third season but Our Flag Means Death has become a fan favorite for its loving portrayal of its core relationship between Ed and Stede. For Waititi, though, the Season 2 finale “feels like a natural end to their story. Just because I feel like, you know, they’ve been through so much and then wind up in that nice place at a happy ending.” Waititi calls Our Flag Means Death “a really special show,” adding that “I love the show so much and maybe it can survive without Rhys and I. Maybe, I don’t know. I do I think the character of Blackbeard is something I’m really proud of.” Waititi says, though, that “I don’t want it to feel like Rambo III suddenly, you know, when you’re like, ‘Oh man, they have to leave their idyllic life again.'”

When I first read that headline, I was obviously like what the fuck, but when I clicked the link I immediately dismissed this whole article. I'm a person naturally given to anxiety and over-thinking - I'm not saying that to dismiss anyone who is worried about that, I'm saying that to emphasize just how contextless and clickbait-y this article is.

It's important to remember two things: OFMD is a mainstream property that is still generating a lot of traffic due to speculation on whether it's going to be renewed, and Taika Waititi, as a person, attracts a lot of divisive media attention that is often very clickbait-y in nature. He's also the biggest name attached to OFMD.

If we look at this article, all of TW's lines are presented to us out of context. We are not given the questions he was asked or told anything about when this interview took place (other than after the finale, obviously).

A breakdown of what TW says with possible, more likely context:

"The s2 finale felt like a natural, happy ending for Stede and Ed." This is true, and we also know this was intentional in case the show doesn't get renewed. This is not new information.

"Maybe the show can survive without Rhys and I." This is what people are (understandably) worried about, but this is both not a firm statement of "I don't want to come back for s3" and completely devoid of context. A possible explanation is that DJenks has mentioned possible spin-offs; TW could be here referring to spin-offs that don't involve him or Rhys Darby. As an executive producer, there is literally no way TW doesn't know at lesat the broad outline of DJenks' plan for s3.

"I don't want it to feel like they're leaving their idyllic life again." TW doesn't want Ed and Stede's story to be beaten to death, he wants it to have a satisfying, happy ending. Again, this should not be surprising information, it's just presented in a way that makes it seem like he definitely thinks s2 should be the end of Ed and Stede when that is not what he says.

This article is completely devoid of context, and because of that I consider all TW's statements in here to be essentially meaningless because we don't know any of the questions he was asked. I believe the most logical context for these quotations were him talking about the finale and how it was satisfying in case they didn't get s3, speculating about possible spin-offs, and then talking about how he doesn't want the story to be one of those TV shows that go on too long.

A bit of additional context: Consequence is, primarily, a music review and news site. They have a TV segment, where this article is housed, but music is their main focus and they are not a website where you expect to find actual breaking TV news, let alone from big names like TW. Larger film and TV publications we've seen covering the recent release of Next Goal Wins, in comparison, universely refer to the OFMD s2 as "successful" and refer to a "likely" third season - for publications actually focused on TV, the predominant view seems to be that OFMD is successful and a 3rd season seems very likely.

This article is very clickbait-y and tells us absolutely nothing. It absolutely does not say that TW is uninterested in returning for s3 (in fact, it says the opposite, he repeats again how much he loves the show) or that OFMD will be cancelled.

We're okay. Even if we do get news that OFMD hasn't been greenlit for s3, I promise it's not going to break on Consequence TV of all places.

[yooniesim]

So, I got this pretty gross anon last night, right. And me being me, on reflex I start answering it, I go through each part, etc. And then all of a sudden I look up and realize, it's late, I'm tired, and I spent almost an hour writing this reply. I said to myself, dude, what in the fuck are you doing? Why are you wasting your time again? Are you really going to post this vitriol, knowing this person likely doesn't give a flying fuck what you have to say anyway, and their bigoted words could hurt your followers that see it? You know better than this. I just reblogged something yesterday about not dignifying bullshit with a response, and there I was doing just that. The anon was already blocked, so I deleted my post I started. And it felt damn good.

Instead, I think I'm gonna say some of the more important things I was thinking about in a more general way. Cos there are a few things I wanna lay down so there's no misunderstanding or any hope that I will do anything different in the future.

First and foremost. From this point on, I won't be accepting or answering any opinions on who or what I am, identity wise. the fact of the matter is, you don't define who or what someone is. you don't tell me what I am, I tell you, and you either accept it as the truth or you leave. your opinion doesn't determine my reality and never will. I'm at the stage of my life where I'm simply not entertaining any bullshit from observers any longer. I will call myself whatever I please and speak on whatever I feel I should as the person I am & the life I've lived, and you will either deal with that or you just won't be around me. period. the block button is my friend now, and I've taken on the mentality that if I block you, you just don't exist to me anymore. you live your life, I live mine, I just never look at your blog or acknowledge you again. any mature person would do the same.

Secondly, I recently mentioned my features (lips, nose, etc) because I wanted to emphasize I am proud of them despite being mocked my whole life for having them. I've even been mocked for them on here in a bigoted manner because like I said before, my pics have been posted plenty. and there was just a debacle recently with a simblr mocking thick lips, because anti-blackness is a constant undercurrent in simblr. that's why I mentioned them. I emphasized that because I want everyone to know that I'm not ashamed of who I am and never will be, despite the fact that some on here fight tooth and nail to try to make me feel I'm somehow less worthy. they will never succeed with me, but I don't want anyone else to feel ashamed of themselves for how they look either. these features are beautiful and worth being proud of and uplifted.

Finally, I'm going to say again: to all my poc followers, mixed or not, you're worthy, and you should be proud of yourselves too. don't let opinions from terminally online people with no actual life experience cause you any shame about who you are. who your parents are, your genetics, your percentages, it don't matter I couldn't give any less of a fuck. you tell me who you are and your struggles and your pain, and I believe and support you. I'm in your corner, and I can only hope I can give back half the love I've been given during this time. You're valid and your voices are important. That's the most important thing I wanted to say, and if this subject comes up again, that's what I will emphasize repeatedly.

[boomtastics]

I'm quitting.

No this isn't a joke I actually am. The reason why is simply I don't like twst anymore and I'm not the confident in my writing.

I want to post writings that I'm proud of not ones that are half-assed or not giving the love and care it deserves.

I'm really sorry to all of you that liked my writing or that just liked talking to me and I'm kinda mad I didn't get to write for everyone of my silly little boys yk?

All of the requests I have right now will be completed but after that there's gonna no more.

"Does this mean you'll delete your account?"

No, one of my works might be a favorite of someone's and I don't want them to lose it and plus I want to see what I can improve on.

"Will you ever write again?"

Yes, probably for something else and when I like my writing more.

"Do you have any other socials?"

Main one is discord Ezran#696969 and anything else is probably under Booming_boom, booming_bomb, EzranEzran, or something similar.

"Will you still be on tumblr?"

Probably on my actual main but this one, My writing account won't be active.

"Is there any other reason you're quitting?"

First off, that's kinda rude and second, yeah

I got really stressed because I want my grades to be good and for that I need to study

but that takes along time and so does writing and not to mention I work and have a big family so I need to take care of them and writing is a little hobby is had yk?

If you have anymore questions just ask I'll answer them it's fine but please put it in the comments so it's easier for me but I dont really care

Final thought?

I love you guys!! I started writing to share my silly little ideas and didn't expect so many people to like them, especially some people that made me write in the first place and my idols (Ciel, Eros, literally all of my silly mooties). You've all made my silly little journey so much better and trust me if I didn't have any mutuals at all I would be so scared to interact with anyone </3.

Now, I'm gonna go make my layout as pretty as possible so that I don't have a random urge to change it.

interact with @silly-ez if you just wanna talk or whatever

Remember that I love you!! Every single one of you!!

go drink water, get some rest and I'm gonna go pass out..Have a good day!!!

Project RoBo is online.

[kalispitronhibernation]

Oooooh I'm always interested in peoples structure and outlining process so 👀 22?

ah thank you for this question, i looove talking about structure and outlining! under a readmore bc this answer is loooong

22. describe your writing process from start to finish.

most of the examples here r from telemachus' detachment, bc i am very proud of that work, and i also did a LOT of work for it, because i was going through a slightly insane period and focusing on that really helped me kept going.

usually, the writing process for me starts off with a single piece of dialogue / scenario. i half-remember a tennesse williams quote where he's talking about how he starts off w a single "luminous image", and it's kind of like that. something just occurs to me and sticks. it then has to be sufficiently emotionally complicated / interesting for me to want to write it out. weirdly what became telemachus' detachment started off with a scene of stewy in a hotel room in hong kong watching kendall's s2 finale speech on TV.

i will usually then write down a lot of random scraps of dialogue / tiny bits of action in one word doc, in a vaguely ordered fashion but mainly as they occur to me. then they start to cohere, and that's when i start trying to pull it together into an outline. for shorter stuff, i probably won't outline, bc it can be done in one push - or if i do outline, it's basically a few bullet points to get the structure down on paper. for longer stuff, i find that i need to know where i'm working to or i'll lose focus / enjoyment and drift away from it. usually the outline will morph into a very very loose first draft - including little bits of dialogue, etc.

HOWEVER. this outline is like - never what the actual writing ends up being. i always think 'no this time i really will stick to the outline' and then during writing it massively changes. so, for example, here's an outline of telemachus' detachment during the writing process: everything after the ch.3 bulletpoint was abandoned bc it didn't feel right.

"Ch.1 finished for now

Ch.2, college + Logan forcing K.’s hand; focalise that all through the K. & the fact of hiding: make it about the twin poles of shame & love

Ch.2: Frame it by opening w/ the board meeting, Roman / Shiv; then end with Stewy watching the interview, and then flashback to Stewy’s reaction – just, here, to being broken up with

Ch.3, KenFest + Ken’s wedding – mirrors of each-other; how did Stewy cope with all of the hiding? End ch.3 with the confrontation about the interview; this moment of hope that Kendall will be free.

Then the drowning; Jess calls Stewy and he ends up at the hospital; he refuses to have any part in the siblings’ plots; Roman calls him a parasite and Stewy doesn’t care, he just wants Kendall to be alive.

Flashback; the various times Stewy has waited in hospitals

Ch.4: Logan dies / Dodds confession – Kendall is dragged back in; Stewy becoming an accessory on his side; he keeps loving him, he can’t not, but Kendall is changing – every dream of escape calcifying."

when i know roughly where i want the thing to go, i then have a checklist - this needs to happen, these people need to have this conversation, and i just work through that - not necessarily in order. though, for telemachus' detachment i would basically only figure out what the next chapter should be when i finished the first one.

there are then 3 very important word documents!

1 is simply the draft - i will usually split this up into smaller ones / chapters for ease and manoeuvrability. i tend to have a "Actual Thing" doc, so i can noodle around in other documents & draft stuff out without feeling the pressure of having it contribute to the whole thing, then will assemble it together.

2 is a 'deleted bits' draft. i find this so so important, bc it is a lot easier to simply cut and paste something away than it is to delete it from the face of the earth. also i will sometimes come back and rescue things from this document.

3 is a running commentary - this is where i keep notes to myself, outlines, and also what i'm going to do next. i like to try and follow the advice that you should always stop working in the middle of something that's going well, bc you will want to come back & do it the next day. always leave yourself a clear goal / target for the next time!! i like externalising a lot of my thinking.

this does mean i end up with a lot of word docs for one thing. i just counted and there are a total of 34 docs in my folder for telemachus detachment.

in terms of the actual writing, i tend to write dialogue first, especially if it's fic for a TV show. i find getting the rhythm of dialogue right tricky & v important! i sometimes write random dialogue that's nothing to do with the story just to get into the voices. i'll then go back and fill in everything else. if i'm writing something, i tend to become completely and totally obsessed w it, and think about it all the time, i quite often end up writing scraps of dialogue in the notes app on my phone, and then fleshing them out later.

if it's fic, i tend not to edit massively once it's got to the stage of actually being assembled in that final doc - it's probably already been through a fair amount of revision to get to that spot, and i really only have so much time and energy. i have no idea how to explain when something feels done apart from that it just clicks into place, and feels right. i work very much on a vibes basis, and i think i've read enough that my vibes r fairly well honed!

anyway this is very long but thank you again for asking!! i love to ramble about this

[anopenlettertomyexs]

FAQ

Just made this in case anyone stumbled upon here. Hidden under the cut VVV

1. Why did you make this?

I get obsessively fixated on things that happened in the past and it makes me panic and overthink stuff, and I don't have anywhere else to vent this. That might be my ADHD or OCD that causes it. Regardless, I heard this can be a great way to treat these intrusive, obsessive thoughts. Maybe I'll regret it and delete this, but I dunno.

2. What are you hoping to gain from this?

To make it clear, I don't want to reach out to these people. If I wanted to, I would've indulged in these compulsions way earlier and bombard them, or I would've tried harder to keep in touch with them. It's purely just closure for myself to treat my obsessive thoughts. I'm also a whole ass adult now, and I wanna let go of the past. Maybe bringing it up and talking about it isn't helping it, maybe it will. I've moved on a lot, but I truly want to just let it go y'know?

3. What if one of your exs sees this blog?

If somehow one or more of them see this, and deduce who it is behind this blog, then... well I don't know. Depends on who stumbles upon here. Some of them I'd be glad they finally know how I think about them, others I'd just get pissed off. Regardless, I don't really care. If they wanna reach out to me I won't respond because I've already gotten my peace, but if it gives them closure to respond here... then they can.

4. Why do you have so many of them?

I'm not proud of it. I was a very clingy and emotionally immature kid. I didn't know how to love myself so I depended on others to love me, which hurt me and others in the end. Luckily, I am in a better place now, I've been in a long term relationship and I've learned to love myself too. I'm writing this before the letter so I don't think I'll even write to all of my exs, because some of my previous relationships either didn't feel like one, or we've already made up, etc.

5. Can I ask you more questions?

I don't know why but sure. Anon is off though. Just more comfortable that way... I'm unsure if I'll actually answer them though. Depends on how often I check this email, cause as soon as I'm done typing the letters, I'm logging out.

6. What's your main?

Sorry but I'm not giving that out, not even in DMs. There's a reason I'm making an entirely separate blog. Plus some of my exs in my letter were abusive so I'm not giving them a way to contact me.

7. Is this an ARG?

No. I am (unfortunately) a real person, with real feelings, trying to properly heal. This isn't part of an ARG or anything like that. Just gonna clear that up in case anyone potentially thought that.

8. Do you have a therapist?

No, due to a lot of reasons I don't. It would be nice though. I did have one in the past though, and I'm sure this blog is something my old one would approve of to help me.

9. If I do ask you something, how do I refer to you? (Pronouns, name, etc.)

To keep my privacy just refer to me as AOL (An Open Letter). Please do not use pronouns for me, just AOL in place of them (but for accessibility's sake, they/them or it/its is fine)

10. Why not use tags?

Cause ultimately I'm scared of getting potential contact from others, so I wanna minimize it as much as possible without outright removing the option.

Hopefully this clears up a lot of questions so I don't have to get scared of repeated notifications lol

[vvildflowerrr]

vent post ab chronic depression

-

-

people don't talk about how hard it is to actually reach out to people.

like I get told all the time to just reach out to people, but I find it so difficult when I never know what's going on in my friends' lives and know many of them are going through their own shit anyway. how can I justify bringing up what I'm going through to them?

I'm so sad, I'm so lonely, it's hard to move day in and day out. I can't remember the last time I had a genuinely good day.

I remember all the reasons I got sober, but every time I end up sitting alone or even with other people just remembering what things used to be like and the people I love that I never get to see now and I just think relapsing would make things better, even if just temporarily. But I know it won't help.

I made chili today, in a slow cooker, and it's so good, I'm proud of that. But while I was waiting I sat in my room, which finally has furniture in it, and scrolled through every streaming service I pay for looking for something to make me laugh or feel better. But romcoms are sad to me, I can't laugh at regular comedies, nothing new interests me, but watching my comfort shows makes me feel sad too because it's the same stuff all over again.

I'm not even 25 yet, but I'm worried I don't have enough time in my life to do everything I want to do. The career I want feels unattainable, I'm still hung up on the same person I have been and don't have a clue where to start with dating or if that would even be a good idea for me, I don't have the experience to find a better paying job that doesn't kill my soul and even if I did, I lost my car awhile ago, so how would I get there?

Everything is expensive, I hate the way I'm functioning, I hate the way the world around me is functioning, and I don't think there's anything I can do to make it better.

I have friends but I miss my other friends. I hate that everyone is so busy that we've become so distant. The last time I hung out with someone it was me being depressed and stale, I felt terrible, like I harshed the vibes by just inviting them over to be around me.

I'm just complaining now. But genuinely, with all this, I genuinely can't say I know where to go from here. I mean, I can't even romanticize the past too much, I was miserable then too. I've almost always been miserable, and I'm so tired of it. I don't know if I'll ever be happy, I don't know if that's even a possibility for me.

My mom once told me she didn't think she was made to be happy and maybe I internalized that a bit too much, but I feel that way right now too.

I'm open to it changing, in fact, I want it to. But I'm exhausted, my brain feels like it's dying every day, I can't make anything click, I can't make art, I'm not even listening to music anymore, and when I do it's all just kind of there. The only reason I haven't kxlled myself is because I pay a portion of the rent and bills and it would be so hard on my roommates. And because I wouldn't be able to see my cats again, and I'm so close to that!! I've already made my peace with the fact that I'll be a passing memory to my loved ones, hell, I feel like one now anyway.

I don't want to perform like I'm fine but I also don't want to make anyone worry about me or change how they interact with me. And I know I have reasons but I don't feel like I should be this sad. Fuck, sometimes I'm not even sad, most days I'm just numb, and if I'm not numb I'm just weeping at the dumbest shit.

I don't know where to go from here, I just don't. I'm gonna fall back into my cycle after throwing this into the void. I may even delete it at some point (then again, probably not because I'll want to show it to my therapist and look back on it later, hopefully at a time when things are better rather than worse).

I just hope something turns around soon.

[the-s1lly-corner]

I'm probably going to delete this later, but a quick little side ramble, nothing too serious just talking about my insecurities surrounding my writing + english

Its times like these, where I finally have the nerve to write something to share, that I become hyper aware of just how bad my english can be; whether it's my spelling or grammar

But even still, I'm working on a fanfic that so far is ~10k words! I admit the story isn't the best and the pacing is off, but I still can't help but feel proud of the fact that so far I've managed to actually stick to this little personal project of mine

But I probably won't post it, at least not here, because some part of me is scared of how obvious it looks to others that I don't know what I'm doing

I have had people in the past be needlessly rude to me for making mistakes in my old fanfics. I have even had friends directly make fun of my writing/grammar. I guess I'm just scared that it will happen again. I've worked so hard on this story the past few days that I'm scared it'll all be a waste should it be rejected

I'm sure things have changed, outside of this account and these little hc lists, I haven't actually written full length fics in years, when cringe culture happened to still be a thing (I don't remember if this happened at its peak or slightly after)

But it's all still just

Blkfycycygh!!

Sometimes I skim through my posts here, and see all the mistakes and cringe. Hard. And that's after typing slowly and thinking about what I want to say; but what about an entire full length multi chapter fanfic? It'd probably be worse

I really don't know where I was going with this but I kinda needed to get this out since its even gnawing at me, even if I truly am proud of the fact I've been able to sit down and commit

To those who enjoy my writing regardless of my typos, bad grammar, and other literary fuck ups, thank you; it truly does mean a lot that there's people interested in my thoughts about all these various fictional characters/gen

[orangerainbow]

04:45 a.m. and I was thinking: "I guess I should write about you once and for all".

So the truth is: it sucks to never know how it could be... How us could be...

Don't worry, I won't do anything. I never will. I respect your life and marriage, but it sucks.

And I know I'm probably being just selfish because my curiosity might not be for having feelings for you. Or is it?

My curiosity is probably about to know how us could have been. Like how would it have been if we had sex? How would it have been if we kissed? If we touched?... Because that's what we really wanted back then, remember?

We used to lose track of time when we talked. We used to laugh and irritate each other all the time to touch each other...

I still remember the day you asked me to hold my hands at the high school's excursion. We hold hands for the entire time, my belly was about to explode. And everyone started to asking if we were a thing. And our answer was no...

No... Because you had a girlfriend. Your first and only love. Your wife... And don't get me wrong, I do not regret on not trying anything. I would never be a becky. Then everytime things got intense, we used to put a limite. You even started to skip classes...

Well, you still have the same number after all this years. But relax, I already deleted. I have no idea why I keep it. But if I would guess, it would probably to check if you're still committed.

One day years later when I had a facebook account you hit on me. I remember. That was definitely a flirt that I totally ignored and tried to deconversate. I have no idea why I did that, but probably because I was too proud, as always.

But again, don't worry. I know the thing I hate the most is not being able to get what I want. Because it's so difficult for me to actually want something. But don't worry.

Even if sometimes I think about you and about how it could be to have you, I just needed to finally "talk" about all of this with the hope of get it off my chest.

I was just reflecting about how probably loving someone is different than to give them your heart. And for that I got the conclusion that I never actually gave my heart to anyone and I never really fought for anyone. But would I have done it for you?

Forget it.

I'm probably just feeling lonely.

Have a good marriage life, L.♡

[stray-kids-react]

Trans s/o

Masterlist

...

Bang Chan

° Was dating you before you came out to him, you were fully prepared for him to leave you. But to your surprise, Chan stayed with you and even encouraged you to get an appointment early for your transition.

° Will help you take your medication to help with the process, and if you get dizzy from it he will gladly pick you up and carry you to bed. He's a true gentleman, so he'll probably carry you to bed even if you aren't dizzy or tired.

° Helps you pick your new name, always finding the cutest ones or the most random ones. Like Flossy/Tangerine, but he tries he truly does. But at the end of the day you make the final call, and he respects that 110%.

"You're going to have to find a name that goes with Bang as a last name."

"That's why I'm not going with the names you picked out."

Lee Know

° Had a crush on you ever since you started working as a stylist, and he had absolutely no clue that you were transgender until he revealed his crush and someone told him that you were. He honestly didn't care that you were.

° Minho found it rude how the staff member that told him found him weird for still liking you, as if it is weird to like someone who is transgender. He wasn't interested in the staff member or considered them a friend, so why do they care?

° Soon realized that thier opinions of your transition wasn't just kept private and that they would harass you about it. So he went to JYP to try and at least make it so you were further away from her. But JYP genuinely didn't help.

"I'm just saying, it's weird since they aren't actually a-"

"It's weirder that you care so much, do you not have a life?"

Changbin

° Was your best friend before you started dating, he saw you transition and the struggles you went through in high school when the teachers would call you by your old name even though you constantly insisted to go by your new one.

° When you started dating, it never dialed to amaze him by how ignorant people can be. As if they think he doesn't know that his lover of 3 years is transgender. He knows, and he loves you no matter what.

° The last straw was when he was on a special interview with Jessi where she invited different idols. One of the being Siwon from suju, who is known to not be overly supportive of the lgbtq+ community. Which made Changbin upset.

"How can you date someone who is faking-"

"They aren't faking, if anything you are the fake one for putting on this nice guy act when you're really an asshole."

Hyunjin

(cutie)

° Will spoil you with any transgender items he can get, cute pikachu with the transgender colors? Bought. Pins? Bought. Flags? Ordered. Cakes? Already in the oven. You reassure him that he doesn't have to spoil you, but he wants to.

° Won't gush over your baby photos or hang them up if you are uncomfortable with looking at them, instead he'll gush over your current photos and hang up recent couple photos of the two of you. He even has a wedding collage ready.

° He can be dramatic, in a good way. So when you are being harsh on yourself saying you still look too much like a boy/girl. He will stand you infront of a mirror and tell you everything that's manly/feminine about you.

"You're my precious lil bean, don't be hard on yourself."

"Hyunjin, your ruining my foundation with you kisses *giggles*."

Han

° He had a crush on you for ages, you were Hyunjin's best friend and he met you through Hyunjin. Jisung grew fond of you after only a week of chatting to you, everyone noticed how blushy and mushy he got around you.

° Hyunjin never told him you were Trans because he thought you had already told Jisung yourself, but you didn't since you thought Hyunjin told him. This led to a semi confused Jisung when you were going through old photos.

° He didn't mind and still found you attractive, he was just surprised to see you in your old photos. You looked so uncomfortable in them and didn't look like yourself at all, he was honestly glad you came out of the closet.

"You look just as gorgeous and confident as you do back then."

"Can you not flirt with y/n when I'm right here?"

Felix

(I just want to ruffle his hair istg.)

° So proud of you when you come out to him, he cries so much that you are worried he is sad. But it's actually happy tears, because he's always had a suspicion for the last four months that something was off with you.

° Won't stop clinging onto you after you get the surgery done, he's just a smiley ball of fluffiness the whole time because he is so happy for you. But if you ask him for anything cause your sore or don't feel well, he's up and doing it in a flash.

° Felix is the type who wouldn't care about gender or sexuality, as long as they are interested in him and have a good personality then he would love them endlessly. So you will blush often from the way he gazes at you like you're his universe.

"God, I'm the luckiest man alive to be with you. You're so perfect, now let me snuggle you."

"You're so cheesy sometimes, you're lucky you're cute and can pull it off."

Seungmin

° When you came out to him and your family, he was surprised but still loved you just as much. He didn't think it should effect the way someone feels about you, but apparently your parents had different opinions on the matter.

° One week later and you had the last of your boxes in Seungmin's dorm. Your parents gave you one week to move out, not wanting someone part of the community to live under there household and be seen by their friends.

° You would be lying if you said it didn't hurt, it did you sobbed every night. But as long as Seungmin was beside you, everything was going to be okay. You don't know what you would've done without him, you felt lucky that way.

"I can't believe they are ashamed of me."

"It's there loss, you're the best person on this planet. Skz and I are happy to have you."

Jeongin

° Jeongin was your ex boyfriend's best friend, he watched you get cheated on and verbally abused by his so called "friend". The last straw for him was when you came out and all your boyfriend did was scoff and dump you on the spot.

° Jeongin pretty much took you under his wing and babied you until you were over that asshole. He even deleted his contact and phone number from his phone, realizing how bad he was when he saw how he treated you.

° 5 months later and you and Jeongin are happily dating, and making you feel like the royalty he sees you as. You both never heard from your ex ever since that day, but when Jeongin took you to a grocery store to get some snacks. You both bumped into him.

"So I see you're getting my sloppy seconds."

"You're the only sloppy one here dumbass."

[lokiondisneyplus]

Holy crap. Look at Kate Herron's shirt. When the Loki director pops up on Zoom, she's donning the most glorious image anyone will see since we laid eyes on Alligator Loki: A Teletubby wearing the Loki horns. Are the Teletubbies Loki variants? Sure, why not!

"I got it on Instagram," Herron says. "There's an amazing comic book artist and he designed it. He made it into a T-shirt for me because I saw it and was like, 'That's incredible. Can I get it for the press junket?'"

Herron, no big deal, just pulled off an MCU miracle. Entering a mammoth franchise with, notably, some of Sex Education's best episodes under her belt, the director deftly brought a plot involving multiverses and Richard E. Grant in a cape and superhero mumbo-jumbo to brilliant, beautiful life. Following Loki's tear-jerking, mind-bending finale, the series has been dubbed by critics and fan's alike as one of Marvel's best efforts—which is no small feat. Of course, we needed to ask Herron how she stuck the landing. Following the most epic finale you, me, or any Teletubby can remember, Herron talked to Esquire about the Miss Minutes jump scare, filming the finale's introduction of He Who Remains, and why she won't return for Season Two of Loki.

ESQ: How are you doing?

KH: I'm good. I think I feel very relieved that I don't have to sit on the secret of He Who Remains anymore, It was a very big secret to hold, but for an important reason, right? Because it's such a good character to be launching. So yeah, I feel good.

ESQ: Loking back at your old interviews, you have such a good poker face when you're avoiding spoilers, but you're also incredible at giving aggregator crumbs.

KH: I play a lot of board games, so you need to be quite good at strategy and poker faces so people can't always read your hand. So I think weirdly board games have prepared me more for working with Marvel than anything else.

ESQ: I have to start with the Miss Minutes jump scare. What went into the decision to make her a memeable, creepy apparition in that moment?

KH: I love horror, and my executive, Kevin Wright, knew that. Me and him were talking about Episode Six and I remember that he was like, "Oh, maybe you could do something creepy of Miss Minutes." And I immediately was like, "We have to do a jump scare!" Because I haven't got to do a good jump scare in anything yet and I really wanted to, because a lot of my friends are horror directors. I was like, "I can't let them down." So I was really excited to have a shot at doing a jump scare. And Miss Minutes, it was really fun testing it because we'd kind of bring different people into the edit, me and Emma McCleave, the editor, and we'd just play it for them, watch them, and check that they were jumping when we cut it.

ESQ: One thing that I think is getting missed in all the craziness is that we see a peak moment of the love story between Loki and Sylvie. Where does the finale leave the companionship that they found in each other?

KH: When I started the show, that was always in the DNA of it—that Loki was going to meet a version of himself and they were going to fall in love. And that's honestly what drew me into the story, because I directed Sex Education. I love stories about self-love and finding your identity and your people. Loki is such a broken character when we join him, and seeing him go on this amazing journey with all this growth and finding the good points of himself in seeing her—I think that was very beautiful. It's also paying respect to the fact that Sylvie's in a very different place to him. She hasn't had the Mobius therapy session. She even says, in Episode Five, "I don't know how to do this. I don't have friends." You really feel for her because she has been on the run and her whole life has been this mission.

It's almost funny because these characters are thousands of years old, but it's almost teenage the way they both talk about their feelings for each other. I think everyone can relate to that, right? In any new relationship, there's always that kind of awkwardness and like, "Oh God, am I too keen? The important thing was the hope—like when Sylvie and him kiss, I think it is genuine and it is coming from a place of these feelings they have for each other. Obviously she does push them through that door, but for me it was a goodbye and it was with heart. But it's kind of a goodbye in the sense of like, I care about you, but I'm going to do my mission because that's where I'm at.

ESQ: I would pay for you to direct the Sex Education episode where Otis falls through a portal into the multiverse, into the main MCU.

KH: He really looks like a Loki as well, which is so funny. I always thought that. I was like Asa does look like a Loki. It didn't come to pass or anything, but it would be interesting to do a Sex Ed-Marvel crossover. I wonder who all the different characters would be within the MCU, but it would be quite funny.

ESQ: You're right, he could pull off a teenage Loki.

KH: Yeah, like a teen or a very young ’20s, maybe. But it was just funny because I was like, "Oh yeah, he looks a bit like Tom." I wonder how they could do it. I'm sure they'll find a way to do a crossover anyway.

ESQ: Can you just take me back to filming with Jonathan Majors? And you capturing him in such a compelling, quirky, scary way—I'm sure your direction was such a big part of that.

KH: I was just so excited because Jonathan is an actor that everyone was so excited about. He's like a chameleon in everything he does and he's so talented. I just feel as a director so lucky to have worked on this because I feel like I've got to work with some of the best actors out there. And when you're with Jonathan, you know you're in the presence of just someone really magnificent. For me as a director, it's giving him the space to play and feel safe. Because we filmed it all in a week, but it was a lot to film in a week. So I think it was really about creating a space where he could have fun and find this character because he's going to be playing him for a long time.

ESQ: What went into the decision to introduce us to the good guy first?

KH: I remember in the script, he comes up the elevator and it was so casual. I was like, "Oh man, that's so fun." And then Jonathan, when he plays it, he's relaxed. And I the thing he used to talk about a lot was that this is a character who's been on his own for a long time. Because at the beginning, we introduced him in a space in the universe that feels like this very busy, loud place, but actually, when we see the Citadel, he's surrounded by the Timeline and he's very isolated. Even in his costume with [designer] Christine Wada, for the idea of his outfit, he's a character who's existed for multiple millennia. So it's like, OK, let's pull from lots of different places so you can't necessarily pin down which time or which place he might be from. Also the fact that his clothes look comfy. They were like pajamas because he's living at home. He loved the idea of the office [being] the only finished part of the citadel and that the rest of the citadel was like this Sunset Boulevard kind of dusty, dilapidated space. And just again showed that he probably just keeps himself to his office. All those elements definitely fed into Jonathan's performance in terms of balancing the extrovert, but also the introvert of someone that would be living by themselves and only talking to a cartoon clock.

ESQ: It really is incredible how you pull a nail-biting finale with this battle of wits and dialogue.

KH: It was really exciting because I feel like Episode Five was a lot of fun because we got to play into all the joy of the different versions of Loki, but also just the fact that it was our big usual Marvel third act, right? Like it was where our big spectacle was as they were fighting this big monster. But I love that our finale bookends, right? We began with a conversation and we ended with one.

ESQ: I also loved that there was no end-credits scene—I think it makes the ending that much more impactful. Was there ever an end credit scene on the table, or any kind of a stinger?

KH: I think no, because weirdly, we never went after the kind of mid-credit sequences. I think we always just were thinking just of the story and where we knew we wanted it to end. For example, Episode Four, originally Loki was deleted and then we went straight to him waking up. And it was only in the edit I was like, “I think it'd be really cool actually. We should move that scene to mid-credits because then we'll really feel like Loki has died." Because if I watched that moment and then it went to the credits, I'd be like, "What?!" And then when we were talking about the best way to talk about Season Two, we were like, "Okay, well, let's do that like a little mid-credits at the end because that is exciting to confirm it in that way." I'd say we found both of those in the edit just because we wanted to kind of do it right and have a fun nod to something that Marvel does so well.

ESQ: Is there anything you can tell about the future of the story you've told here—or even where you personally would like to go with the studio or otherwise going forward?

KH: Yeah, so I'm just on for Season One. So I'm so proud of the story we told. I mean, it was amazing getting to set up the TVA and take Loki on this whole new journey. And I mean, I think we've left so much groundwork for his character, and as people see in the comics, there's so much more to be delved into. And I just am excited honestly to just see where all the characters go. Like, who is B-15? What did she see in those memories and where did Ravonna go and where is Loki? I think for me, we've set up these questions and I look forward to seeing them being answered as a fan in the next season.

ESQ: Absolutely. Well, can we please work on the Asa Butterfield Loki?

KH: I will call him and I'll be like, "You want to do some crazy Marvel crossover?"

[lillymidnight]

So I binged watched High School Musical: The Musical: The Series (Hsmtmts) season 1 about a month back. Now I'm watching season 2. As many, I was surprised to semi like this show. I'm impressed with how unique it is. I won't lie some things have irritated me or disappointed me, but honestly it's better than I thought. A little too much about relationship drama in season 2, but the moments about other stuff is really good. Holy heck all the kids are so talented, they all have such great voices. Can't wait to watch more. That aside I feel like season 2 is getting better, cannot wait to see the next episode. 2x09 looks really good in the promo which prompted me to think about how I feel about each character or couple. I loved that they brought back pretty much the same 6 background 'chorus dancers' in season 2. I know there's more, but actually including them like thed New years party, Improve, and the Quinceanero.

I know I may be hated for this, however I do not ship any of the four 'main' at the moment, they all have so much to work on. But my hsmtmts weird venting of feelings rant. Sorry in advance.

🚨SPOILERS AHEAD🚨

Nini & Ricky - First and for most I never shipped them after the first break up and the slow burn throughout the rehearsals for hsm. Not sure what exactly it was but they just didn't work for me. Communication was such a big problem for them right from the flashbacks, and I know it's a Disney show but a whole year to say 'I love you' felt strange when later we practically see them eating each other blah. Something did not work for me. Their chemistry died part way through season 2. Falling in love with your first love and bestfriend is really precious, but also so heartbreaking at the same time especially if things don't work. Because you never want to lose the friendship. Ricky was becoming too much and treating her terribly, which she absolutely did not deserve. Nini deserves to be independent, she is very talented I won't deny that, but I feel sad because she seems too disconnected from the group even with her bestfriend Kourt despite them placing the two together the last two episodes, something just seems off. (Now this may be just my bias of usually hating main characters when there's a larger cast trickling in) She's still amazing and I hope they can write her independent growth and connection to her friends a bit better, and give us something to look forward to for her character. She needs to learn how to communicate and not hide behind songs or running away. Also proud that she said she wasn't returning from Yac completely for Rocky, which would have been stupid. I would not want to see her give up her dream because he wanted her to. Now I will say their second break up was so mature and beautifully done though and glad she has her fans and music to help her get through. I want to see Nini lean on her mom's for support. Hope she gets an interesting storyline that can showcase how super talented Olivia is with that incredible voice, can't wait to hear more💖

Ricky, well dang this boy needs therapy. He has so many problems he needs to work through. He seriously needs the support of his parents and friends to help him through his break up and abandonment issues. He was becoming pretty scary during season 2, it was making me so uncomfortable. He doesn't like change and yes that's hard to get through but yikes he was almost becoming toxic in some ways. I also know it's very hard to break trauma engraved feelings. Ricky was so insecure that he had to delete a comment from Nini's insta, honestly felt kind of out of character(felt like it was reverting back to season 1 with Ej being jealous, and I did not like it). He's a great character and I hope they show him getting help and working on his issues. I know they showed him with his Mom, Lynn in the 2x09 promo(which is so hard because I don't like her) so I hope it works out and she can help him or that they can have a genuine heart to heart conversation about her actions and how they impacted him. Still don't forgive her for everything so put Ricky through in the first season. He looks so sad and I hope they focus on his mental health and concerns before even thinking about any other relationship drama(wishful thinking...). So happy Ricky had Big Red, those scenes in the montage were so precious and heartwrenching. Big Red just knew Ricky needed him. I want to see more of that friendship grow because it felt slightly lacked in season 2 but that could because he was too focused on Nini and that the rest of the group was growing. I hope they do not let Ricky and Lily happen, that would be such a mistake. Josh is crazy talented can't wait to hear more🧡

Gina - Gosh this girl just needs a big ass hug. I feel so sad and constantly worried about her. That would be so hard constantly moving around never feeling grounded anywhere. I really liked that Ashlyn tried to help with developing a 'home' for Gina. Gina being so independently powerful and strong-willed is a great attribute to who she is and I loved her fierceness in season 1, but I feel like I haven't seen much of that this season, still like her a lot. It just seems she's sadly always putting on a brace face, which makes me feel awful for her. Her pining of Ricky is my least favorite thing about her. I get feelings can develop and with how she fell for him in season 1 and he chose Nini in the end was really sad. But I must say I felt disheartened when she thought Ricky was the one to send her the chocolates on valentines day and was mortified they turned that miscommunication into a joke. Nope, that was not something I liked at all, it felt forced. Yes, they work/see each other in the musical, but with the confused feelings they both shared they really should have backed away from each other to figure things out until both know exactly what they want. It's not fair to each other or Nini and Ej. I don't ship Rina though. Gina in episode 2x05 had me so sad for her, she deserves the world and I was so sad she was internally saying goodbye to everyone. I hope we see her and he mom work on things that will be the best to support Gina. I 100% do not want to see Gina and Jack be a thing, I know they're actors but nope that would be too strange after watching Sofia and Asher as tweens on Andi Mack. Also they really went there with the 'I feel like I know you' seem familiar scene, why? I cringed, I know it's a nod to Andi Mack fans who most probably now watch hsmtmts. I hope we continue to see her friendships grow with everyone. Sofia is so dang talented💚

Ej - I just want to say he went from being hated, to one of the favorite characters in season 2. He became so likeable. Carlos' comment about emotion in the song Gaston was big progress from the scene in season one between the pair, it was nice honestly. I really like Ej's relationship with Mr. Mazzara and hope that he continues to support Ej. I think that can be very good. I also love Ashlyn and Ej's relationship. I hope we eventually see a apology scene or talking scene between Nini and Ej. I really do not like Portwell and I'm so sorry to the fans. But I just don't ship it. I would love them to be good friends and be supportive of each other, their conversation was nice in the 2x08. I hope we see more of his interactions with different characters and continue to see his relationships develop. Ej and Duke well that is a whole other thing. Him acknowledging his privilege and how he didn't earn it was great character progress and very interesting to see. I did feel super sad for Ej, because the boy clearly works so hard with all the clubs and teams he's on, his high gpa, as well as his many other extra curriculars. His Dad, Cash making calls was ridiculous and I'm so proud of Ej telling him he's not going to Duke. I hope we get to see Ej grow independently. However, the promo for 2x09 shows Ej either packing or unpacking boxes with Ashlyn in the room during the zoom call. So I'm worried it's either him helping Gina move out, or the more likely option. Cash Caswell kicked Ej out over him saying he did not want to go to Duke at the end of 2x08. Ej has so much pressure on him. Gah please let Matt sing more, his voice is incredible💛

Ashlyn & Big Red - Redlyn is really sweet and I hope things work out between them regarding them not going through more jealously and relationship drama. I do wish the writers would have explored Ashlyn's insecurities a bit more and with more than just Big Red. I did not like the using her insecurities as comedy in some scenes. Ashlyn being a Disney princess is amazing and such a good thing to showcase. I liked the way they went with Big Red and the career stuff. I see absolutely nothing wrong with him wanting to continue his families legacy and proud that he said that to Ash. Also was happy to see them working that out and her understanding and accepting that. When she finally agreed I was very happy. I don't hate Antoine, but I def don't want to see some weird love triangle glad they said they were working through that. I really want to see more of them together and separate as they're a really cute couple and I think could survive their relationship with independent plot lines. The valentines moments were too sweet. I want to see more scenes with Ashlyn and Ej as I feel they have lacked this season. So, I definitely want to see more of them together as besides drama club, they are part of very different circles so I was shocked to see them so close. However, the more we learned about the Caswells, it appears they grew up alone and only with each other, neither of their parents being home. With her throwing all the parties and him being at her house often and correct me if I'm wrong he sleeps in the spare room quite a bit after parties or in general at her house. Although he did just knock/ring the doorbell in 2x08 which I don't think we've seen before. And his mind else where with Duke and probably his crush nerves somehow forgot Gina was living with Ashlyn. Julia's voice is fantastic that high note in the mob song was just wow. Larry can really sing so well dang, glad he got to sing more in season 2. I cannot wait to hear more from them❤

Carlos & Seb - Seblos is absolutely adorable, that might be biased though because of Joe and Frankie! Even though they are playing characters I feel like there's a little of them that slips through sometimes and I find myself smiling. I hope this fight that keeps being spoken about can be resolved easily. I'll be really sad if not. My heart feels for Seb, as I get Miss Jen doesn't see him as a leading man but she broke barriers once with him being Sharpay which was awesome, he was amazing. So, I hope Seb gets a bigger part in the next musical, and that he and Carlos can work through their relationship dynamic and problems. Really sad to constantly see Seb be told no and disregarded. I want that to change and see him stand up for himself. I don't like that they're portraying him as 'dumb' honestly. Always hate those characters in shows. Sure they say funny things but it's weird. Carlos looks like he's overworking himself and being there for everyone that isn't Seb. Carlos does need to focus on himself a bit and find time for him. Gah I was so happy to see some of Frankie's own heritage represented in the show in 2x05. Carlos' relationship with Miss Jen definitely weirded me out initially😅 I thought the plant growing with them was adorable and the meaning behind the Climb was great, just too cute. I've saw someone mention they think Ricky is going to be going through too many personal problems and be unable to perform and that Seb would take over, which I honestly agree this will happen. Hope to see so much more with them. Definitely hope to hear more singing!!! Gah Frankie and Joe's voices are incredible. They both need to sing way more💜

Kourtney - I still cannot believe she was only meant to be a one or two episode character, she's incredible and I'm so happy they made her more than just Nini's bestfriend who the main character whines to. I loved how they incorporated her as an asset and fashion/costume designer. She's headstrong and so very talented. Really glad they added Kourtney as a cast member to the musical. I mean her step in scene as Taylor was funny, but it's nice to see her break out of her box a little. I hope her relationship does not deter her future and headstrong nature. I really really want to see her relationship grow with other characters that aren't Nini as they were starting to before she came back. Seb and Kourt were great. I'm still indifferent about Howie and Kourtney after everything that has happened with North High. The Harry Potter references were too great though. Can't wait to see where else they go with her character and even Howie. Dara and Roman have such amazing and jaw dropping voices. Dang I want to hear more singing from them both💙

So that was a long winded explanation of how I've been feeling. The show is amazing with such young and talented actors playing awesome characters can't wait to see where else they go with them. Definitely need more singing and dancing.

[tthankstoyou]

I was tagged in this forever ago by @useless-fanfictions and I'm finally getting around to it. So here's the fanfic writer tag!

how many works do you have on AO3?

11!

what’s your total AO3 word count?

23,510

how many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

I mainly write for Glee and those are the only fics that I haven't deleted yet... BUT I have also written for All Time Low, Fall Out Boy, and Panic! At The Disco. All of those have since been wiped off the face of the earth.

what are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1. Let It Go, Just Forget It - 76 kudos

(Hevans) "In which Sam accidentally hits Kurt with a football while warming up for the game. Sam insists it was an accident, but Kurt finds that hard to believe. That is until one night Sam is over to practice with Finn for Glee Club."

2. Listen To Your Heart - 72 kudos

(St. Hummel) " 'Did you know that you’re the boy?'

'What boy?' Kurt asked. The more Jesse talked, the more confused Kurt became."

3. I Want Your Midnights - 50 kudos

(Kelliott) "Elliott finds Kurt on the roof during a New Year's Eve party."

4. Cheesecake Flavored Kisses - 50 kudos

(Hevans) "Inspired by an anon I received on Tumblr: 'Ooh okay Sam surprises Kurt with a congratulatory Cheesecake when he finds out about his Nyada callback. A tacky kind full of like sparkler candles that says 'congrats on your callback' but the letters are all smooshed together because it couldn't fit right'"

5. Bring You Closer To Me - 35 kudos

(Hevans) "In which Kurt surprises his boyfriend, Sam, during s4 regionals."

do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Yes! Or at least I try my best to, but sometimes life gets busy and I'm not able to respond to each and every one of them. But I love responding to comments. It warms my heart knowing that someone took their time after reading my fic to type something up about it.

what’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Mmmm I'd say none of my fics have an angsty ending. I'm a big lover of happy endings, which is reflected in my works.

do you write crossovers? if so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I do not </3 although I do have an idea for a Freaks and Geeks & Glee crossover that would be very heavy on skank!Quinn.

have you ever received hate on a fic?

Thank God I haven't. I'm very sensitive and would probably cry if I ever received hate #water sign things

do you write smut? if so what kind?

Nope! I haven't ventured there yet and I don't know if I ever will.

have you ever had a fic stolen?

I thankfully haven't.

have you ever had a fic translated?

No, but I'd be open to it!

have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yup, but it was a very long time ago and is hopefully gone from the internet forever.

what’s your all time favourite ship?

I think it's pretty safe to say that Hevans is my favorite, BUT Jarley is a very very close second. I don't really hardcore ship anything outside of glee haha

what’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

I... actually just deleted a WIP that I was desperately trying to finish, but it just wasn't it. I really loved where I was going with the story but the writing wasn't something that I was proud of and there were a few things in the plot that didn't make sense. I just had to delete it despite me wanting to continue it. There was no saving.

what are your writing strengths?

I'm really proud of how I'm able to capture the essence of characters. Like I think my characterization is pretty good. For ex) Jesse St. James is someone that I love to write because I have his voice down so well. (but my high standards for characterization also makes me scared to write certain characters/ships, like Sebastian/Kurtbastian, because I'm horrified that I won't be able to get his character down right).

what are your writing weaknesses?

I feel like I write too much dialogue. Sometimes my fics aren't an equal balance of internal monologue's and dialogues and it makes me frustrated.

what are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Hate it. One, it makes it insanely hard for the reader to understand if you don't have the translation right after the dialogue in another language. Two, I'm not proficient enough in any language to write in it which make the fic a mess.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

... Panic! At The Disco/Ryden

what’s your favourite fic you’ve written?

I REALLY love Listen To Your Heart and it's literally all because of Jesse. Like there's some lines in there that I think about and just laugh. That's one of the few fics of mine that I'll go back and read just for funsies.

I don't know who has or hasn't done this yet, so feel free to answer these questions if you'd like! I tag anyone who wants to do this.

[atinyidea]

The Ache Of A Broken Heart | Ateez Song Mingi

⟶ requested by @un-kpop-ular! thank you for the request lovely!

⟶ highschool!au, bestfriends!au, female!reader, named!reader, hanahaki!au

⟶ angst prompt: “it hurts”

⟶ 3133 words!

edit: hi so it's been a couple years and I've realised how genuinely arophobic this kind of au is and I just want to say that while I'm not deleting it (it was a request) I'm not supporting it and will not write anything like a hanahaki au again. Please do some research if you're confused and I apologize to those who mightve felt hurt reading this oneshot.

"I don't understand why you haven't just told him?"

"Well it's not like me telling him will make anything stop. And there's the potential that I'll lose him completely if I tell him. It's not that simple."

"It can be! You tell Mingi you love him and then he can accept that love you back and you stop coughing up fucking flower petals."

"San!" She whined, lifting her head from its resting place on the toilet seat. "I can't force him to love me back! Besides he already has a girlfriend. I'll get over it sooner or later."

"Is later is when you die choking up a whole bunch of flowers?"

"I'm not going to die!"

"You threw up a whole flower just three minutes ago! You're getting worse! I know you." San paused, gently petting her head. "I know how much you let yourself fall into your feelings. You're sensitive, Jiyeon, you always have been. It's not going away."

"I'll make it go away." She whispered, biting her lip and avoiding his gaze. San simply huffed, pulling you into his chest and just held her for a while, rubbing circles into her back.

Choi Jiyeon was many different things to Choi San but the main fact was that she was his cousin. His only cousin. His father was her father's brother and the two only children became as close as siblings due to the fact they shared the same house.

Jiyeon and San were the same age, born a month apart because their mothers planned it. They grew up in a big house with a big garden. They had loving, caring parents and an extremely fortunate wealth and upbringing.

They went to a public school, making plenty of their own friends but somehow they always managed to converge groups to make one big friend group. And, in that friend group just happened to be Song Mingi.

Now, Jiyeon would have to admit, Mingi was, in fact, San's friend first. However, soon after meeting Jiyeon and Mingi were quick to become best friends. Jiyeon would be lying if she didn't say that, besides San, Mingi knew her best. Mingi was the first to tell her everything, the first to include her in events and jokes. He told her everything and in turn, she'd tell him everything too.

Well, except for one small thing.

Choi Jiyeon was completely in love with Song Mingi. And he didn't love her back.

Jiyeon never used to believe in the Hanahaki Disease until the petals started making their way down her throat. She thought it was a myth grandmother would tell to wain children off of loving recklessly. Her own grandmother would tell Jiyeon stories of the girls she used to know. Of how the would give their heart to anyone who'd take it and in return were given flowers. Only when she was a little older did her grandmother tell her that the gifted flowers were actually a curse in the body. Flowers that would come from nowhere and choke one out until one found themselves throwing the petals up. Jiyeon had never taken her grandmother seriously.

Maybe she should have.

She hadn't even noticed she had begun to love Mingi when the first petal arrived. She had been asleep when it did and woke up to a petal laying on her tongue. Having gone to a house party the night before, getting quite drunk by the amount of pain her head was in, she took no notice. She had, unfortunately, woken up with worse things in her mouth before.

The first time she actually threw up a petal, she and San were having their annual weekend movie marathon. In the middle of the fourth film — Star Wars: A New Hope — Jiyeon suddenly hunched over, grabbing both her throat and her tummy. After what felt like hours to her, which in reality was only five minutes of San freaking out behind her, she finally coughed up the petals that had bloomed in her tummy. Both Choi's sat in silence when she had finished, simply staring at the white petals that were stained red. Jiyeon only realised they were stained red with blood after San had handed her a napkin to wipe her mouth and it too came away red.

"What was that?" San asked, both of them now slumped on the floor on their knees, the television in the background now being nothing more than white noise.

"I don't really know."

"How can you not know?"

"Well, it's never happened before!"

After a beat of silence, San spoke up once again, his voice only hairs above a whisper. "It's like that old story grandma used to tell us, don't you think?"

"The story about the women who would die throwing up flowers when the person they loved never loved them back?"

"Yeah."

"That was an old wives tale San! A myth! A story to teach children to be mindful of who they give their heart to."

"Well, how else do you explain what just happened to you?"

His question had her stumped. How could she explain what just happened? The feeling of something unnatural climbing up her oesophagus, catching in her throat and choking her until she coughed it out covered in blood was not something that could be explained away or turned a blind eye too. There was blood. Bloody flower petals. That came from inside of her. And it hurt. It hurt so much.

"But that tale was about someone who loved another who couldn't love them back. I'm not in love with anyone, San." She avoided his gaze. "It's probably something I ate that didn't agree with me. That's all." She dismissed.

San sighed and she heard it. He sighed because Jiyeon had never been about to lie to him — or to anyone for that matter.

"Ji..." San trailed off. "You can tell me."

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"Is it one of our friends?"

"Is what one of our friends?" Jiyeon feigned ignorance, still not looking up to match her cousin's gaze.

"The person you love," San whispered, manoeuvring from kneeling to sitting, shifting slightly closer to the girl.

"Who says I love anyone?" Jiyeon whispered, finally turning her head to face San.

"Because I think we both already know who you love." San smiled sadly, gently bringing the girl into his arms. He rocked them back and forth gently, trying to create an atmosphere in which Jiyeon felt safe enough to speak her truths.

She rested her head against her cousin's collar. "Are you mad at me?"

San shook his head, even though she couldn't see him. "No. Why would I be?"

"Because..." She looked up, "Mingi's your best friend."

San chuckled. "You can't even lie to yourself. Mingi's your best friend. Sure, he's my good friend but you know things about him he'd never think to tell me." His smile widened a little, lifting a hand to ruffle her hair.

Jiyeon sighed, closing her eyes. "Okay. Maybe I'm in love with Mingi."

"Maybe?"

"I don't know!"

"Jiyeon."

"It's not like it matters anyway. He won't love me back that's why I'm throwing up petals or something." Jiyeon's eyes flew back open.

"Grandma always said didn't... not wouldn't or couldn't." San reminded her gently. "There's still a chance. You just have to tell him."

Jiyeon sighed, her head thumping back into his chest. "Fine." She breathed out, her throat finally numbing. "I'll tell him next time I see him."

The conversation the two had the next time Jiyeon saw Mingi however, was not the conversation she had in mind. He had grabbed her in the middle of the hallway, minutes before the bell for the first period, his handsome face graced with the bright grin only Mingi could create. It sent a flutter of butterflies through her tummy. Before she could get a word in he had already told her his news. The smile on her face had frozen, to the point where she began to panic he's see through the fake happiness she exuded.

"Haneul said yes! She said she'd be my girlfriend!"

Panic froze Jiyeon to her spot. How could she forget about Haneul? The pretty girl Mingi had the biggest crush on. He had spent hours telling Jiyeon all about her. How kind she was. How pretty she was. The way her voice sounded when she spoke to him — "like bells... or the sound of a thousand angels humming!" — and about the way she spoke to him. He told her about how Haneul was smart, how she helped him with all the things he struggled with academically — as if the study sessions he spent with Jiyeon did nothing for him.

Jiyeon had always felt funny when he would talk about Haneul. She hadn't realised the feeling was jealousy until she stopped telling herself she didn't love him.

Haneul was perfect for him; just the right height, just the right build, just the right personality. How could Jiyeon ever be seen as more than just his best friend when someone like Haneul was interested in him?

"That's great! I'm proud of you!" The words flew out of her mouth before she could stop them. The way his grin beamed brighter tore a rip through her heart and something built up in the pit of her stomach. The bell rang a second later and the two made their separate ways for their first lessons.

Jiyeon couldn't concentrate that entire day. Not many people seemed to notice her out-of-it daze apart from San, who looked at her with silent worry as their group sat together at lunch. Haneul has joined them, sitting close to Mingi's right side, answering the questions their friends had for her with a sweet smile.

Why was there nothing wrong with her?

Jiyeon couldn't blame her though. It wasn't Haneul's fault Jiyeon had fallen in love with her best friend. It wasn't Haneul's fault Jiyeon's body had decided it would take out its heartbreak on her, breaking her down piece by piece until her insides crumbled into torn up petals.

That had been sixth months ago.

Sixth months strong were Haneul and Mingi.

Jiyeon thought that it would get better. That the ache in her chest would dissipate now that Mingi was in fact taken by one of the sweetest people Jiyeon had ever met.

“Why don’t you, you know, date someone? Get your feelings under your own control.” San has said one day during a particularly harsh day, your entire bathroom floor covered in blue petals and sickly red blood after a couple hours of coughing and spluttering. You had given him an exhausted glare.

“It wouldn’t be fair to the other person. How would I explain this? ‘Oh, sorry about the mess! My body is just displaying its heartache outwardly because I love someone, who’s not you, by the way, that doesn’t love me back.’ Yeah, that’d go down a treat.”

San rolled his eyes at her, letting go of the hair he had held out of her face. “I’m just saying. It might be a way to get over it. To get over him. To get your health back?” He pressed gently. It didn’t take much to know that San was worried. Jiyeon had lost a noticeable amount of weight, not being able to keep much of anything down — especially after being around Mingi. She had become quiet, one might say reserved, which was unlike the person she was a couple of years ago who was never without a smile or a laugh.

She felt defeated. “I don’t want anyone else to feel like this. It hurts, so much,” She swallowed. “Every time I throw up those flowers it feels like my heart is being smashed with a steel hammer. Or as if it was made out of paper and each petal was just another rip in the fragility of a water soaked piece of paper. It’s dark. It’s a disgusting feeling and I never want anyone to feel it, ever.”

San’s head cocked to the side, his eyes dropping with worry. “You’re dying, Ji,” He whispered. He took one of her hands in his. “Just try it. Please.” He begged.

Jiyeon bit her lip. It would be too arrogant to assume someone would fall in love with her so easily, wouldn’t it? She could let herself be involved with someone else, couldn’t she? She could get over the dark could that surround her heart, right? She nodded, “Alright.”

So San sent her on a date. Ironically enough, another of their friends, Jeong Yunho, had been interested in Jiyeon for a little while. When San has brought up his little conundrum — “I need someone to set Jiyeon up with but every one I can come up with are all dicks” — Yunho has jumped (literally) at the opportunity.

The date was fun. It was exciting. They had met at a restaurant, exchanging shy smiles and small hellos before ditching the restaurant — it was only San who made the reservation anyway — and spent the night just together, deciding on what to do by playing small games of rock-paper-scissors. Jiyeon found herself smiling, laughing for the first time in a long time. She had temporarily forgotten all about Mingi and the pain that would wrack her body almost every other night. They went to an arcade, playing on different games for a few hours, playing around with one another and cumulating enough tickets to get two matching teddy bears. They took a walk through a park, stopping to play on the playground apparatus and unlocking their inner children with small games like who could get the highest on the swings or who could stay upright the longest on the merry-go-round. They found themselves sitting in a booth at McDonald’s, grinning and sharing embarrassing stories about themselves and their friends — mainly San — while sharing two big boxes of chicken nuggets.

Jiyeon felt guilty when she got home, saying goodnight to Yunho and finding herself texting Mingi all about it. She felt guilty when she realised why she was so adamant for Mingi to know. She wanted him to feel jealous. And she felt horrible when he simply congratulated her and offered to go on double dates in the future, her bedroom floor covered in a smattering of red petals after she broke down in tears.

Yunho was kind. His smile was sweet and his words were sweeter. They went on multiple dates and Jiyeon could feel herself getting lighter. The petal attacks slowed down but, they still happened.

Yunho was kind but Jiyeon was scared. On their last date, he walked her home, their hands laced together as they walked under the stars in the night sky. Jiyeon had told him early on in their relationship that she was sorry they had to go slow. She hadn’t given him a solid reason for her need to go slow and he hadn’t pushed her for an answer, but she knew deep down she’d always be scared to take the next step with him, or anyone for that matter. At her door — one that was unlocked because San just knew she’d forget her keys — Yunho had taken her face in his hands and kissed her. Truth be told, she had enjoyed it. His lips were soft and he bent down enough to brush her lips before straightening up slightly, causing Jiyeon to follow him to a height her tippy toes would allow. However, when she opened her eyes the face of her unrequited lover stared back at her and her smile dropped.

Blinking away the image of Mingi’s face she was greeted with the worried eyes of Yunho. “I’m sorry if that was too fast.” He whispered, eyes dropping to the floor. A familiar feeling twanged across her body as her heart sunk, once again, in guilt.

“You have to go.” Her voice was low. She could feel the familiar sensation arise in the back of her throat and she, under no circumstances, never wanted Yunho — happy, kind, sweet, loving Yunho — too see her like that.

He stuttered and she felt worse. “I- I'm sorry. Just give me another date. I don’t want to stop seeing you.” He cupped her face again, tilting her head up so their gazes could meet.

She needed him to leave.

“You have to go.” She repeated, gently stepping out of his hold. She went to speak again but her words were caught in her throat as she coughed harshly. When she pulled her hand away from her lips, looking between Yunho and the bloody white petal in her hand, tears had already sprung to her eyes. She didn’t give him any explanation before turning on her heel, barrelling through the door to find the nearest bathroom.

She could hear him chasing after her, the sinking feeling of guilt consuming her for how much he cared for someone who was caught up with a boy who couldn’t love her back. She retched into the bowl of the toilet, multicoloured petals falling from her lips in encased in the sickening sound of blood being spat from her mouth.

Yunho was kind. He bent down next to her and held her hair from her face. He rubbed circles into her back, his soft voice falling into a quiet song. When Jiyeon had finished her attack her body wracked itself in sobs instead. She felt horrible inside and out.

“I’m so sorry.” She wailed.

He didn’t respond, stopping his soft singing.

“It hurts so much!” She sobbed, not lifting her head to face him. “I am truly sorry.”

After a while, her sobs lessened and the two sat in silence.

“You don’t have to be sorry.” Yunho finally replied, tilting her head to face him again. “I’m sorry you have to go through this,” He whispered. He raised a thumb and wiped at the side of her mouth, watching as the blood there transferred from her lips to his thumb. “I’m sorry you think you’re going through it alone.”

She looked at him, concentrating. Then, her insides froze again. Her tear ducts overflowed again once she realised just what he was talking about. Her one wish had been destroyed. Someone else was feeling what it felt like to be broken. And it was her fault.

She feared she wouldn’t be able to love anyone other than Mingi. She feared that Yunho loving her would kill him inside as loving Mingi did to her.

But in the end, Choi Jiyeon loved Song Mingi, even though they were young, even though he was taken, even though he was just her best friend.

She’d die loving Song Mingi, and in the end, she did.

[planetdream]

HELLO HELLO I FORGOT I SENT YOU AN ASK???? AND I WAS THE ONE ASKING IF IT GOT DELETED? VERY RUDE OF ME

okay no but yes I just got sick for another week 😭😭😭 life is not kind to me,,,,I JUST finished an essay and it's 6:19am rn and the sky is lighting up this is homophobic </3

I'm trying to get to terms to losing it but mannnnn I'm so pissed and upset because I had three kpop photo cards in it 😭 (along with other very important stuff ofc like my old student cards and I, obviously, alr graduated)

What can I say I'm just someone who loves the dark too much sksksksks jokes aside tho the dark is nice cos it makes me less guilty to be depressed - it's so weird to see it still light outside at 7pm rip

DREAMIE I WAS LOWKEY KIDDING BUT YOU ACTUALLY SAVED A SPOT FOR ME ALDHFJSJSHDJSKKDDK I LOVE YOU HELLO?? Okay but yes I will Sit Down and Think About It and come back to you with an MV uwu

Also Maniac omg,,,,Felix is such a queer king with that skirt and his HAIR as always a fashion icon. Hyunjin with red hair?? Chan with blue hair?? Changbin with green highlights?? Freaking LEE KNOW with purple hair?? These boys are here to slay and they aren't leaving anyone alive oh no. And Han with that slicked back hairstyle </3 I'm sorry Seungmin but Han is killing me there I can't skskkzsksksksks Also erm no hate but I didn't like the song at first? But it's so catchy?? Like does it sit at the top of my skz playlist? Not really. But is it so catchy that it makes me want to loop it so many times my brain explodes? Yes.

(also sorry if everything looks incoherent I've been writing a 2k essay for the past seven hours and I desperately need sleep)

Bestie SAME on the touch starved end 😭✋ and yes physical emotional connection desperately needed here as well pls 😭😭 I think my friend's constant complaints rubbed off on me because he's always like omg I want a boyfriend and there can only be one touch starved hoe between us so I have to be the bigger person ☠️☠️ but yes much love needed here as well

SCREAMING CRYING MOANING AT THE MENTAL IMAGE. just,,,,seungmo trying to not betray his feelings but ultimately man is a human as well and at the end he's not even scrolling through his phone,,,,the screen is black and it's just something to anchor himself onto </3 absolutely insane with that idea

Also that anon who said Lee Know <3. Massive vibes <33

How are you doing dreamie? Hope all is well hehe :)

-seong

ok first off—get some sleep (maybe u already are idk) can't have u out here sleep-deprived AND sick omg.

and the wallet 💔💔💔 three pcs and important things oh baby i really feel for u...tbh i dont think i'd be able to come to terms with losing it...

as for the collab—there's not a set deadline for posting the fic at the moment (and there probably won't be lol) so you can take your time choosing the fic, but that seungmin spot is 100% yours, babe!

maniac—the boys all look so good and im proud of what they've accomplished this era so far. i was talking about this with moon the other day but it's so fun to watch all of this happen in real time. like bb200?? so sexy of them, really. and yeah, at first listen i wasn't vibing with maniac like i did the other songs on the album (chalking it up to my general occasional dislike of singles) but after the second listen i liked it a lot more ahaha

— apologising for things seeming incoherent?? welcome to my entire blog fr

i've been going outside more and more lately since it's getting warmer and idk im just so...starved of different types of connections. i think i want a romantic connection lol, but that's a lot of work rn and i can't put someone through the stress of dealing with me atm rip

how am i doing? well it's pretty late now and i had a pretty busy day and im finally settling in at home fr and im just....so emotional for no reason?? wanna cry a little bit but other than that im doing good. upset bc i don't have any weed rn but it is what it is lol

[donnieyaoi]

My #8 tmnt lemon.

Pairing: donnie x galaxy (oc)

After that night...I developed huge feeling for him. I know he's my brother..but I just, I just...loved him not as a brother, But a crush! Anyway, I was on break, talking to the others..when I felt a tap on my shoulder. At first I thought it was the boss, but when I turned around, It was a neko..With multi coloured eyes...pink ears and a magenta tail. I was speechless...He looked so cute!! He looked about 15 or 16, so I was wondering why somebody like him...would be in a sleezy place like this.

"Excuse me? May you lead me to the bathroom..I'm a bit lost." I nodded quickly and led him to the bathroom. He thanked me, and I smiled happily. I always felt warm after helping someone, because..I don't know. Well, before heading out he gave me a slip of paper, and winked at me, tounge sticking out. I was perplexed until I read the paper. It said

'Hope I see you around!

Number:113-446-882 ;3 ♡'

I squealed, and felt my cheeks flush. Giggling I put into my pocket and got back to my spot. When I arrived home, everyone was already fast asleep. So I crept into my room and typed the number into my t - phone. After a few rings he finally picked up!

"Oh..*yawn* hello!"

"Sorry for calling you, i-i was just seeing if it was yours. I'll hang up-"

"No..no its fine! Sorry I wasn't answering, I didn't know it was you!"

"It's ok...you were just being careful. And I understand that! You don't know who's on the other end."

"Mmhm. So anyway, I didn't properly introduce myself. My names galaxy! What's yours?"

"Um...donatello, but just call me donnie!"

"Wow...that's an cat-rific name! I wish mine was that cool."

"What?! Are you joking? Your name...IS SO MUCH MORE AMAZING!! It's rare, and it suits you, because your cat features are the same colours! But mine...is just bland-"

" WHO ON EARTH ARE YOU!! AND WHY ARE YOU TALKING TO MY SON!!"

"Ah!" I jumped out of my shell! I dropped my phone as I'm presuming, the mother hung up..

~ with galaxy~

"WHY on earth are you Talking to STRANGERS!? You know what happened the last time!" My mother screamed. I hissed angrily at her.

"He isn't a stranger! I met him before, his name is donnie! I met him at the st-" I covered my mouth, mum looked at me, suspicious.

"Darling, WHERE did you meet this donnie boy? At the star parlor? At-" she stopped, and growled.

"Yes at the s-"

"You went to the STRIP CLUB didn't you! What have I told you about that place!? It's full of discusting perverts!" I tried coming up with a excuse...

"I was coming home from school, and I needed the bathroom.. so I just went into the first place I saw! And then I met donnie, he shown me the way..and I gave him my number, because he seemed nice and I wanted us to hang out!" Ok well..that was actually the truth.

My mum sat down beside my and rubbed my shoulder.

"I'm sorry baby, but I really don't like you in that environment..and just because donnie helped you, doesn't mean he is a good person." She kissed my forehead and turned of the light..

~ with donnie~ 3 months later...

I felt really down...because I really wanted to know galaxy better, but I guess I can't! We were starting to exchange info...I was never going to see him again. But I had to stay strong and keep my clients happy, so I forced myself to smile and be polite. I was surprised when I saw him again...He talked to the boss and pointed at me. So I just plastered on a fake grin and walked him to a room.

When I shut the door, I noticed his eyes were all bloodshot and poofy..and I suddenly felt guilty..I felt it was...my fault! He looked at me and smiled weakly. And it just made my eyes tear up..I ran over and bent to his knees, crying.

"I'm so sorry! It's my fault! It's all my fault!!" I griped his knee sadly. I heard him gasp, and stroke my head.

"I should of Never! Never~ spoke to you...then you wouldn't this way~" I wailed. He held me close and he started sniffing.

"No...Please don't blame yourself...shh." I shivered, BUT it WAS!! I griped his clothing, and whimpered.

~ galaxy's pov~

I don't want to tell you in detail about what he did, but I'll tell you 2 things

It was mating season.

It wasn't his fault, he couldn't help it..

He did something to me, that I didn't want to do...and ever since he's been telling me it was his fault, and that he's a discusting creep...and the worst pervert alive...which isn't true! Yes, he did do something bad...but, I kinda liked it. My ears drooped, and I wrapped my tail around him.

He looked up at me, guilt and self hate plastered on his face. I sighed, and kissed his head, making his mouth open..He was clearing surprised by this. Like, he weren't expecting it. He hung his head..

"How could you EVER forgive me...want to speak to me. ..or even look at me? After what I put you through, I'm perplexed as to why...you still consider me even an aquantience!" He looked at his hands in sad discust. I held them, but he only pulled away.

"Don't touch me! I'm a...A! Disrespectful, horney rapist! Just like your mother said...and she's right..IM NOT A NICE PERSON!! I'm just like these people in here, BUT worse!!" He grabbed my phone and started swiping and clicking buttons, with a upset, but phyco smile on his face.

"What are you doing?!" I snatched it of him, and it was open on the gallery...It was empty. He started gigging...and grinned, and he took it of me again. He longingly held his finger on the screen, and after a few minutes he gave to me.

"What did you do!" I gasped. All our photos we took together were gone! Wiped of my phone like they never existed...but, my selfies and pics I took with family and friends were still there. He suddenly started laughing hysterically, but nothing was funny!

" I deleted every piece of memory of me. So then you forget me! You'll thank me one day..If you remember me that is. And I beg you, please do not mope over me, there ain't no point in wasting HOURS of your time doing that!" He stroked my ears and left me there, lonely....

~ donnies pov~

Finally! FINALLY HE WONT FEEL SORROW!! I laughed all the way home. Leo was surprised to see me home so early, and I just cried and kept on laughing all the way to my room. I crouched in the corner, and thought of the posative future ahead of sweet, little galaxy!

I bet his mum's proud of him! I would be, if my child let go of somebody who's a forceful person. I'd praise them for being brave and getting through it! I heard my door creak open, and all three of my brother stood there, staring at me worried. I just eyed them and grinned.

Mikey came over and asked,

" Hey why are you in the corner? Is something wrong...did somebody hurt you?" I shook my head and yelled..

"NO! I'm just happy galaxy doesn't haft to cope with a rapist anymore!" Mikey looked relieved.

"Oh. Who was it? Did they get caught-"

"Your looking right at him.." I smiled. Mikey looked horrified, and slowly backed away from me. Leo and raph just froze in the doorway. I hugged my knees and rocked back and forth as raph went to get sensai.

Father approached me, holding his hand out to me. If ONLY they'd just leave me like galaxy did..I turned away, and I heard leo whisper into fathers ear, and sensai 's eyes widened. I got up slowly, and ran to the stands full of pictures. Where I grabbed any picture that had me in it.

"Come any closer and I'll make you forget me for good!" I confirmed, showing the photos.

"Don..think about what your doing.." leo said inching closer. I smiled smugly and laughed.

"I am! I'm thinking about ALL your futures, and how they'd be WITH OUT me!" I started to slowly tear apart the precious memories of us. Sensai looked at me with pleading eyes..but I just carried on ripping.

"But don't worry, I won't burn your pieces. Just mine. So you'll still have your sides. And I beg you, don't mope over me, their ain't no point in wasting hours doing that!" When they were fully ripped, I placed their sides neatly back into the frames, and threw mine in the flames! Then I slammed my door shut and locked it.

~ galaxy's pov~

I...can't believe it..He deleted his phone number and text thing of my phone..so now I can't call or text him! He may think he deleted all memory of him, but he forgot about my picture album of us both. I skimmed every page and started to cry, we looked so happy back then..at the fair. And when he always came round for a sleep over..and when we just hung out!

I hope his family are helping him out. At dinner I barley ate my cat chow..and my mother asked,

"What's the matter honey? You look upset." I told her everything that happened..and when I'd finished, she didn't look synthetic..but furious at him.

"HE...TOUCHED YOUR PHONE!! AND DELETED YOUR MEMORIES!!? that's it!! I'm going STRAIGHT to his home and having a CHAT WITH HIS SENSAI!!" She immediately stood up, and got her coat on. I desperately tried explaining why he did, but she just ignored me and locked the door behind her.

~ donnies pov~

I could hear the muffled yells of galaxy's mother, and the muffled exclaims of my dad...I knew he'd mouth off to his mom, and I'm pleased he did! I deserve whatever punishment sensai gives me..but if it not bad enough, I'll force him to give me a WORSE one!

I cluched my head, I felt overly exited, about the punishment that I started laughing insanely! Will it be that he ended me...OR kicked me out?!?! I laughed harder and louder at the thought of them! I heard sudden footsteps in my room, and I turned to see..galaxy!?

"D.." I looked away, no! That's a hallucination..he's NOT HERE! I threw my head back, and cried hard. I felt a comforting hand touch my shoulder, and I scardly backed away..

"Don..Please look! Look at these pictures of us!" I didn't believe he was in here! I curled up in a ball and screamed, I was going I - insane!! He cupped my chin and shown me our old time photos. My eyes shrunk to the size of a nut...

This is a part 1..I know there isn't any romance but,there will be..In part 2 :3 bai! ♡☆