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kpop-morelike-kstop · 7 years

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Junior

This is a bit of a rant that i’ve been meaning to get out of my system for the past like..three weeks probably...So, if you guys don’t like swearing or mentions of suicide and self-harm, i suggest you not read this.

So, some of you are probably looking at the title of this post and are going, “Is he gonna talk about that Junior guy from Got7?” to which i say, No, because his name is Jinyoung not Junior.

The point of the title is because i am currently a Junior in high school, for those of you who don’t know. But i’m not JUST a Junior. I’m also a part-time senior. To make this a bit clearer to those who aren’t catching on, i’m a Junior who is Graduating early.

Some of you are probably saying the same thing my parents said when i told them that i’d be graduating early: “Oh my gosh, you are SO SMART. WOW.”

To which i say, No, No i’m actually really not. I am a pretty average person with equally average intelligence.

Or, some of you are saying what A LOT of my teachers and peers are saying: “Why would you want to do that? What’s the point?”

To which i say, It’s personal and i’d rather not talk about it.

So this post is going to go into the reason as to WHY i decided to graduate early. Not just that though, no, otherwise this would be rather short. No, I’m also going to talk to y’all about how it is and how i’m dealing with it. So buckle yourself in, Freshy, it’s about to get fucked up.

Reason Why:

I feel like it’s a little rude to have to explain myself to everyone, especially since the reason isn’t really a good one.

I want to leave my home. Yup, that’s it in a nut shell. Now, let me get a little bit more in depth because i’m sure some of you out there are pissed with a vagueness of the statement.

So, for the past 6 years of my life, it’s bee a serious down hill struggle for my brother and i. Ever since i came to America with my mother, my father has been so cruel to the three of us. He yells and treats my mother like shit, my brother was especially quiet and slow when it came to learning English and reading, and i was a quiet but rude little shit who clearly did not like him. Now, i don’t want you guys to think that i just hated him for no reason, that’s not it.

During my back and forth years of going from Mexico to America, in my middle school years, i began to self harm because it was my way of coping with what i had to deal with at home versus my internal struggles. Eventually my middle school councilor told my parents, my father being the violent man he was, when i tried to reason with him to not beat me he just hit me twice the amount of times.

Now, lemme ask y’all a question: How is it helpful to hit a child who is already harming themselves? Hm?

I asked my father the same exact thing, and you wanna know what he said to me? “You can’t tell me how to punish you, you are MY child. And i am YOUR father. I can do whatever the fuck i want because you are my child to deal with.”

Those words will never leave me. And neither will i ever forget when i was only 13, yelling to my father that i hated him with a burning passion. Ever since, my father and i have not been on the same terms. Instead, i’ve clung to my mother.

Now, my mother was supposed to have kicked out my father a little over 3 months ago. You know what happened? My brother got himself in trouble with the law. My parents thought that it was because of them separating. HAH. No, actually, he was just falsely accused of stupid shit.

Ever since my brother got himself in trouble, i’ve been coping in my own way. A very illegal way. I just want to leave this little hell hole and go live somewhere where i won’t feel attacked as soon as i walk into my home.

How It is and How i’m dealing with it:

Now some of you probably are looking at what i said previously and are saying, “Wow, Cas, that sucks. It probably doesn’t get worse, right?”

Well, you’d be wrong.

I am a very school-loving kid. I know, my parents love it. I am the only kid out of my 6 other siblings who is finishing school and actually enjoyed it. Well, this year so far has been the most stressful one in my entire life.

My partner can speak for me, he was there the first week of school and was present for the three breakdowns i had during the first week.

They say sophomore year is your hardest year, to which i say: “Fuck you, do not speak to me.”

My Junior has been hell and it has only been more stressful with the two extra classes i have to take.

I remember crying to my partner about wanting to leave everything, wanting to drop school and run away from home. I just wanted to stop everything. I had never felt so sad, hopeless, i was feeling so suicidal and i still am. I have self harmed maybe three times since the year has started just to get myself to clear my head little with a tad bit of pain.

Hell, i’ve even resorted to smoking again.

So far, things have calmed down a little but, it is really REALLY hard to keep my grades up. I feel like the least stressful of my classes is probably my online Government and English 12 classes. Because for those, at least the assignments are straightforward.

Now, Let me Just lay out my schedule for y’all.

0 period/ Early Bird: APUSH (AP U.S History)

1 Period: AP Psychology

2 Period: AP Lang. (AP Language and Composition)

3 Period: Personal Finance (1st math)

4 Period: Physics

5-6 Period Block: Band

7 Period: Algebra 2 (2nd math)

8 Period: AP Seminar

Online Classes:

English 12

and U.S. Government

Now, Band takes up all of my time, from Wednesdays late night rehearsals and sectionals to Fridays football games or late night rehearsals and Saturdays being late night rehearsals. Any free time nowadays goes to my homework. In fact, right now, i should probably be asleep. Hah, even better, getting started on my APUSH notes.

Doing this to myself was not a good idea, i must say. Last week, i actually had to miss a day of school because i just couldn’t handle the stress of the day. I was there for maybe 30 minutes of school before i texted my dad and told him to pick me up. Yeah, it was pretty bad. In any case, i am doing my damn best now. I probably tend to get 5 hours of sleep or less, i stay awake in classes as much as i can and i get my assignments in as soon as i can.

I made this post not to worry anyone, really, just to let out all my pent up frustration from the past few weeks. I hope you all are somewhere doing a lot better than i am. I hope you are all somewhere where you are happy and don’t have to worry about petty things like grades.

#Personal #Suicide #Mentions of Suicide #mentions of self harm #mentions of marijuana #depression #Junior #High school #Stress #Swearing

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ciathyzareposts · 6 years

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Spellcasting 301 – The Party

By Deimar

Ernie Eaglebeak’s Journal #2: This is not the spring break I had dreamt of. But it is getting close. I mean, I am getting to know very hot girls and even rekindle some old passions. However, there is this part about having to compete with the SWAM boys, the YUs, for the priviledge of coming to Fort Naughtytail for the next five years. And it seems like, as always, it all depends on me. I don’t even know why I am part of a fraternity anymore. Lucky for them, I managed to trick some bimbos into coming to our party because otherwise I am sure we would have lost the first game: getting the hottest girls to the Pharts party.

Seeing this screen I can’t avoid by thinking about this

Allow me to start this post by saying that advancing is veeeeery slow. As I predicted in my last one, I have had to replay the first two days several times until I was able of doing everything needed to win the first competition of the tournament, and even then I am still left with the feeling that I am missing something.

It doesn’t help that I am constantly fighting the interface. Specifically, the look verb. I am playing mostly using the keyboard because I didn’t find the verb and item menu all that useful. The problem is that when you “look” in a location you don’t always get the complete list of items there in the description. The game expects you to look at the graphics to learn more, which is fine. With the only problem being that objects are not always depicted in the picture, or are only painted from a perspective from where you can’t interact with them. Case in point, you can see a board and a calendar from your jail in the police station but you can’t interact with them until you get out of the jail. At that moment, you stop seeing them as they are next to the door and the perspective changes to seeing things from the office door, hiding them. In the end, this means that I am getting into the habit of typing “take all” in every single location to see the list of interactible items.

Now you see us

But enough disgression, let’s get on with the game. In spite of my previous fight with the parser and the slow advances, I have to say I am having quite a blast playing this. Not because of the girls and/or the humour, those are like having a trip back to the eighties. Man, has humour evolved since then. No, it is because even in the face of the time limits and once you reconcile yourself with having to be restoring very often, the game is very open to exploration and experimentation. It gives you enough to be always thinking about several problems at the same time. So when you are stuck on one problem you might want to spend some time working on another one and there is never a dull moment and I haven’t reached the point yet when I run out of ideas or things to try.

The only problem with this is that I think it would be a very dull(-er?) for all of you if I simply wrote about how I am really playing, so I have decided to summarize my advances on the puzzles where I think I’ve made significant advances and how I got to those advances. Starting with…

The party After having the weight lifting competition with the YUs at the beach, we are left there with one day and a half, a little less because you have to discount the hours you need to spend sleeping, before the next competition: the hot girls at the party (I know, I suck at naming things). Whatever we do, just one turn after this, Moe comes to us to ask for help. It is not as we didn’t know it would all fall on our shoulders but it is nice of the game to ask us so nicely.

No pressure

In my last post I commented that I didn’t know how to tackle this puzzle. And I think you are not supposed to. Not at least until the very next day. In my very first replay, I skipped going to the party, but in the next one I decided to be at 7pm Sunday in the hotel. Before getting to Moe’s room, you find a group of “bimbos” in the lobby, looking for action. And I was scared of having to work for my puzzles..

To be fair with the game, it does give you some clues beforehand. If you go to the lobby there is an activity board on Sunday saying that there is a Nail Polishing Seminar at 6pm, and you go there at 6pm the group of bimbos is about to enter the seminar talking about coming back at 7pm to see what to do. It is only that I was doing so much out of the hotel that I didn’t bother going back before 7pm the first time I discovered them.

I must be weird, as I usually prefer to change and finish dressing up in my room instead of in the middle of an hotel lobby…

But there is still the problem of getting them to Moe’s room (3313). Of all the items in the different shops in town, I have gravitated towards the ones in the hardware store and the pawn shop and they seemingly look the most useful ones. You can buy a hex bolt (used for another puzzle I will comment later on), a shovel, a studfinder and some pearl dust in the Hardware Shop. In fact, when you enter the Souvenir Shop one of the Pharts is there looking for a shovel, so it is a no brainer buying everything in the Hardware store. I was hoping using the studfinder as a short of metal detector, probably because I don’t know what the heck is a studfinder, but once I found the bimbos looking for men, something clicked in my mind (thank you Grease or otherwise I wouldn’t have known stud is slang for muscular boys) and I gave it to the bimbos. That worked, the only problem now was guiding them to the party, which I was unable to at that moment.

So, none of you brought any girls. It is nice to know I can rely on my brothers!

One restore later to just after having the weight-lifting competition I immediately went to the Hardware store, bought everything and spent the day with the studfinder turned on going around. And what do you know, it activated in one location I had already described in my previous post.

When you enter The Tourist Trap restaurant, a group of spring-breakers breaks through the wall and when you exit the restaurant the sheriff detains you and sends you to jail. But before that, the broken wall leaves two wooden two-by-four in the floor of the restaurant which make the studfinder go nuts. Incidentally, I also discovered that you can eat the bisque you can order at the restaurant to find a very heavy shell.

But then, if you eat the bisque how do you plan on getting out of the jail? Well, it turns out you can give anything edible to the rat. And even better, you don’t lose it. So this scene in jail is completely pointless except for presenting you the sheriff, which I am guessing right now is Ernie’s stepfather, Joey Rottenwood, the bad guy from the previous games.

If you really wanted that to be true, maybe you should not have left the magical prince turned rat that can open doors inside the jail

At this point I have to make a comment on the stupid inventory limit. I don’t know if it is a thing with an internal weight/size assigned to every item or if it is simply the number of items you are carrying, but inventory is limited to a very low number of items you can carry. I figured that since you should probably sleep in your room that would be the best place to store items, but I found out that’s very impractical, so I have made the Plaza at the center of the tourist section of the map my treasure hoard. Still, I have to continuously go there and back to drop items and it gets annoying, so I make sure to only leave the plaza with the absolute minimum, namely the gold, the spellbook and whatever I think could be useful for my next experiment.

Going back to the party, the solution is quite obvious then. Go to Moe’s room beforehand, drop the two-by-fours and then wait until seven to give the girls the studfinder.

Or be an asshat and carry the two-by-fours with you…

That happened because the action is not immediate. That means, you give the studfinder to the girls but they take their sweet time getting to the party. So I started getting nervous and tried to guide them there. But as in many things in this game, you simply have to wait a little. In the meantime I discovered that if you carry around the beer keg I dropped from the carpet and that you can find just lying around at Cliff Bottom, just before the party in a public area, a group of “plain-looking women” will start to follow you around and you can get them to stay at Moe’s leaving the keg there.

Now, that’s a less sucky party

With the plain-looking girls and the bimbos there, I was sure this round was going to be for us. And it was, eventually. If you think the bimbos took their time, the judge is not better. It is not until 10.15 that she arrives to give points. You have to wait almost three hours of the Pharts being amazed with the bimbos and girls. One of them even seems interested in Ernie, but I didn’t manage to get that to come to anything.

One of the boys even wonders how the YUs are going and what kind of girls have they managed to get into their party. Well, you and me bud, because I don’t even know where they are staying. There are two hotels in Naughtytail Fort: ours, the Royal Infesta, and what I assume must be theirs, the Coral Reefer. However, none of the receptionist at either hotel is able to tell me where the YUs are staying. The Coral Reefer is even harder to navigate, as in the Royal Infesta you get to choose from an elevator button panel and a map of each floor which room you want to explore so you could potentially get to a yet unknow location simply by brute force/luck. The Coral Reefer works differently and you have to type in the parser the number of the room you want to go.

Totally rad now

Anyway, in the end, I didn’t manage to get to the YUs party, but the judge ended up coming to ours and granting us 80 points and 60 to the YUs. Yay us!!. I also found a kaleidoscope in the party, but no idea how that got there…

Expanding our spellbook and meeting hotties Do you recall us finding this old fellow in our previous wanderings?

The one with the trusting smile

Well, he is travelling with his wife, which is also a known associate of Ernie. A visit to their room shows that the lady is having her own spring-break. A very long and exhausting spring-break.

Move along!! Move along!! This is an adventure gamer trying to complete the game!! Move along and let me in!!

There is even a ticket dispenser, and the ticket you get varies with time, with the queue being longer and longer the more you wait before going there. However, if you wait a few turns, a guy will come looking for his friend and the friend will sell his ticket for 30g. Once inside, Hillary does seem in the mood for some action, I didn’t manage to do anything other that steal Otto’s suitcase, containing a RATANT spell box and a spare tie.

The RATANT spell is one of a kind. It is the only spell I have found that works on other spells. It mutates spells into other versions. So, for example BIP (produce soft music) becomes BIM (produce soft mucous). I will list at the end all of the spells and their counter-parts, and although I still haven’t found a use for the alternative version of the spells, I am pretty sure this will come handy.

One thing of notice is that you can mutate the RATANT spell itself to become RATTAN (shell mutation). Once used on the conch from the bisque, it transforms into a couch with a soggy-looking seahorse in it. However, as this makes you lose the RATANT spell permanently and I still don’t know what I could use that seahorse for, I prefer not to make that change yet or otherwise I will be trapped with whatever versions of the other spells I have mutated.

There are three other spells I have managed to get my hands on. The UPPSSY spell (spell of opposites) can be bought from the Souvenir shop for just 99g. A Steal. From the shopper I mean. The PEAWEE spell (regression) can be bought from the Pawn shop for 40g.

I don’t know Rick, seems fake to me

The last one is the SPURJ spell (enlarge tree root) that I found lying in the ground at the Mansion Grounds. The south part of the island leads to a fence that blocks the access to a mansion. The curious thing about this fence is that everything inside its grounds is blue. And that means everything, even the trees. There are three screens where you can see the fence: the Deserted Beach, the Dead End, and End of Road. The only gates, locked, at sight are in the Dead End.

Ok, I admit that line about the Fatally Wounded End got a chuckle out of me

It seems like there is no way in, but in the End of Road there is a hungry dog barking from inside the fence. I tried giving him any of the many food items in my inventory but none seemed to satiate him. By pure luck, I entered the screen with a hellhound carrion you find lying around in Mouth of Cave and the dog became nuts and started digging a hole. I tried to help him with my shovel but to no avail. Tried to FRIMP (levitation) the carrion to him, but that only made me drop the carrion. However, the carrion was then painted into the screen, and that gave me the clue to leave it there and see what happen.

I almost expected the dog to break the fence to be honest. Kind of disappointed.

Lo and behold, when I returned the next day, the dog had digged a hole that allowed me to enter the mansion. Once inside, there were several items in the Mansion Grounds, the spell I mentioned earlier and the case full of tan lotion we were carrying in the carpet. A button allowed me to open the gate to the mansion, although if you exit that way the gate closes behind and you have to walk all around the town to get to the mansion again. Climbing a statue also allows Ernie to exit to the deserted beach by jumping over the fence.

An exit to the west takes us to a maze. But a very special one, not the kind you have to navigate. It is a mini-game about getting the whole maze blue. You start with the center in white:

Everytime you select a color, the center changes to that color and grows by “eating” squares it is in contact with of that same color. The goal is to turn the whole maze… blue. Of course.

Anyway, there are three difficulties and a way of skipping the whole thing (which must be very useful for daltonics). I only managed to beat it in Medium, but didn’t find any difference apart from the cost of playing between beating it in Medium (5g) or Easy (10g). The reward is always a golden seahorse. Just so you know, Hard is only 1g and skipping the mini-game is 100g.

To the south of the Mansion Grounds there is the titular Mansion, and inside we can find Azure.

Casually wearing a night dress and perfect makeup to spend the day in a blue room…

She is quite sad and… well… blue. She is the daughter of Milton J. Blueberrystains, the founder of Blueberrystains Industries, the largest producer of spells. If that should ring a bell, it doesn’t.

In any case, in one of my previous shopping sprees, I remember buying a color bomb (150g) from the Pawn Shop. After using it on the shop to see what that was, it changed the colour of the whole shop from a brownish thing to green. I immediately wanted to see the effect of that bomb here…

Meet Scarlett, the red version of Azure. She takes us to his father’s lab through a secret door. I didn’t manage to do anything there, but there is a vat with lemon juice that could be interesting but I don’t know what to use it for. The case we got in the Mansion Grounds contains several tubes of lotion that say that their effect is lessened by contact with lemon juice and you can put the tubes inside the vat to soak some of the lemon juice. There is a tan contest up the line so I am guessing this is a dead end until then.

More like “torture basement” than lab

Final remarks

This has ended way way longer than I intended but I will try to recap the other threads I am following:

Stream of Consciousness has a workman lamenting having lost a hex bolt needed to repair the bridge there. Once I gave him the bolt from the Hardware Store, he starts lamenting not having a left-handed ratchet and I have no idea how to get that. Maybe in the Employees Only door at the Aquarium. On the other hand, drinking water from the stream recovers you some vigor, which makes you less tired at the end of the day so maybe it is possible to spend the whole night doing things without sleeping at the cost of frequent trips to the stream to drink.

I have tried my luck at the casino but I always lose. There is one game that is about guessing the door a mouse will appear in which seems like it could be cheated. I also realized that you can sell some things in the Pawn Shop, so maybe the money problems won’t be that hard.

The mine at the north east part of the island is pitch black. I will need to find some kind of light source or maybe repairing the lighthouse will solve the problem

There is a jellyfish sitting on top of a chest at Cliff Bottom. My efforts to remove it have shown no results.

Bothering a lobsterman in the Wharf for a brief time produced a boot.

There is a seahorse trapped under a root in Windswept Road. This is a job for the new SPURJ spell or the golden seahorse, but haven’t tried anything yet. What’s the deal with all of these seahorses?

Just a turn after being in the Guild Hall, an apprentice will come around and drop a treatise that talks about the irreversible state of spells and how to counter it. Apparently you have to mix a Loosexa Wingus Maxima (a goose maybe?) with some pimento moss, that I found inside a cannon at the Fort. Damn me if I know what any of that means.

I found a blatant copyright infringement BATMAN!!

Holy game, Batman!!

One correction from my previous post. Chapter 2 starts just the Sunday morning, the day of the party, not the day following the party

Ok, I am officially an idiot. Just while writing this post I realized that I was playing in Nice mode. In Naughty mode you can score Hillary, although it serves no purpose other than seeing her with even less clothes. I am wondering if Scarlet would be the same.

Just for the sake of comparison. It even includes some sounds. yay?

And that’s everything for now. See you on the next contest: sand castles!!

Inventory:

63 pieces of gold

Bathing suit (worn)

Glasses (worn)

Spell book

#40 hex bolt

Golden Seahorse

Case (auburn tube, umber tube, sienna tube, brown tube, tan tube, beige tube, sepia tube)

Kalidoscope

Studfinder

Two-by-fours

Empty sack (had 200g)

Instruction Sheet

Confirmation Letter

Trophy

Cloak

Sid’s book bag (text book, nose shield, deflated pool float)

Otto’s suitcase (spare tie)

Pimento Moss

Some suction cup-covered gloves (left by Batman)

Package of breadsticks

Shovel

Conch

Boot

Potential items:

Diamond ring (1500g from Pawn Shop)

Pulverized pearl (15g from Hardware Store)

Strawberries (6g from Grocery Store)

Laxative (39g from Grocery Store)

Bread (3g from Grocery Store)

Rust Spray (10g from Souvenir Shop)

Roc Caller (79g from Souvenir Shop)

Greasy food (5g at Beach by Snack Bar)

Slimfish (33g from Fish Market)

Spells:

Level 1 spells BIP (produces soft music) BIM (produce soft mucous) FOY (create daiquiris) VOY (create dungarees) Level 2 spells FRIMP (levitation) FRUMP (legislation) SPUNJ (enlarge tree root) SPURJ (enlarge wee fruit) Level 3 spells RATANT (spell mutation) RATTAN (shell mutation) PEAWEE (regression) POWWO (digression) UPPSSY (spell of opposites) DOWNSY (spell of opossums)

Map:

Score: YUs – 100, Pharts – 125 (yay us!)

Session Time: 3 hours Total Time: 7 hours

Note Regarding Spoilers and Companion Assist Points: There’s a set of rules regarding spoilers and companion assist points. Please read it here before making any comments that could be considered a spoiler in any way. The short of it is that no points will be given for hints or spoilers given in advance of me requiring one. Please…try not to spoil any part of the game for me…unless I really obviously need the help…or I specifically request assistance. In this instance, I’ve not made any requests for assistance. Thanks!

source http://reposts.ciathyza.com/spellcasting-301-the-party/

#retro games #dos games #retro #crpg #adventure #amiga #oldcomputers #8bit #16bit #blog #repost

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ranseltoska · 7 years

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So Happy to Finally Comeback!

Hello tumblr! How are you people?

Yap, it is so long after my last posts in tumblr and I know how not consistent I am to write things in this platform. I of course have some explanation which turns out to be an excuse. Well, life is so tough lately. I have to juggle with the last theory semester that is so exhausted and taking so many energy and time and money from me, then the last term of my organization year that I want to make it the best so again I spend so much time and energy there, and the luxury time I want to spend by myself—hangout alone, have me time, watch tv series, read some books, daydream all the time, and sleep too much. So yeah, having not so much time back then but so happy to finally comeback!

There are also some triggers actually that make me want to write again. The first one is of course my desire to babble much in the platform that no one care and know about me. The second one is the luxury time I have because it is finally holiday yaaay! So I am back at home right now, not having so many things to do unless hangout with high school mates and do some family gathering, and not having responsible to deal with, and not even have a real life! Third one, is because someone from the past suddenly come back to my life and asking like you still write? I miss your stories though. No, I don’t write because of him, but his question reminds me how I used to write so much and love it. The last one is I currently watch a vlog in youtube and she is talking about doing some journaling and let your thoughts come up, and again it reminds me about how I used to suit in front of my tumblr page and write all the things that pop up in my mind. The triggers actually come like a month ago since I am home, but because of my laziness and the lack of fast and free internet here (God, I need fast internet!) I finally can do it and hopefully I can be that consistent, please help me!

So to begin my comeback (are you a K-PoP Idol group?) I will write about the random things that happened during my absent time in tumblr. Here we go!

1. I am finally home! After a tough semester and so many responsible I have to do, I finally can take a break and take a breath. So happy to be home, because you don’t have to worry about the real life or the future, about the money you’ve spend because free food and water will always be there, about the people that judge and want to hurt you because you can no longer see them, about the loneliness you feel when you are lying in your dorm alone or when you strolling around the city alone, because you are finally safe and sound.

2. I meet so many people here. From my family, big families, high school best friends, high school mates, some teachers that so close to me, some seniors that also close to me, until someone from the past. What I actually can learn is everyone is growing up even me somehow. We still talk about the silly and funny and stupid things we did back then, but we also talk about the future that waiting for us. Like with my best friends and high school mates, we remember the memories we share in the old days, like some silly jokes about everyone, or some sweet moments we have, or the friends and the teachers that really cannot be forgotten, or even the mean things we do. But in the middle of that conversation we are talking about how are our thesis or what to do after graduation or where are you work right now, we are talking about the consequences about the problems we face and how we deal with the real life, that is scary and tough. We are all growing up but I am so happy that some parts of us are still the same little souls who always want to be the best version of ourselves.

3. Last semester of theory is finally over! After so many seminars, and simulations, and negotiations, and endless papers and assignments, finally sixth semester is done! That was the very tough semester in my college life. I sometimes want to give up on so many lessons but thankfully there were Ilak, Kiki, Rachel who always motivate me and cheer me up. The scores are not yet presented, but so far I am happy with the results. Because my almost not sleep night and my working the assignments together afternoon is paid. Well next level of tough is KKN and skripsi life, brace yourself!

4. I watch so many tv series and fall in love with sense8, you guys have to watch it. It is about 8 people in different countries that can connect to each other, like really understand if one of them feel sad or happy, and they have to fight some group that want to kill them. And the season 2 is so freaking cool, but here comes the very things I hate. Netflix decides to cancel this show because of numbers. And what I want to do is screaming and saying wtf so much, because I really need to know where is Wolfgang, and how they fight the BPO, and what how is the ending, because all of them really deserve a happy endings after they try to be strong together (please watch the show to understand my babbling!). But, after the whole cluster in the whole world asked Netflix to continue it and we do some petitions, finally they’re gonna make the final-two-hours-of-sense8. Only two hours but it can change someone’s life, I bet! So yeah #sense8forever

5. I am thinking to make some content (are you a youtuber) that called Saturday Conversation. So every two weeks on Saturday I will go somewhere probably a café or a hangout place by myself and just sit, eat nice food, do some people watching, or read books, and having a conversation with myself. It could be about anything, about how I feel, what I think about life, things that makes me happy or sad or afraid, the books I currently read or the tv series I currently watch, or anything that come up in my mind. Hopefully I can be the consistent person I wish to be. And I also want to write consistently in tumblr because I still remember how much I love talking to myself in this platform by writing it.

6. I just finished watching The Flash season 2 after a very long time and Scandal season 1 after a not so really long time. Currently I am in the middle of my journey to finish Riverdale, 13 Reasons Why, The Americans, Quantico Season 2, 11.22.63, and so many tv series that waiting to be watch in my hard disk. And I currently read Garis Batas from Agustinus Wibowo, after finishing Simon vs. Homo Sapiens Agenda and Matahari from Tere Liye. I know no one care but hey I just want to share! Oh one more, I am currently in love with some youtubers that is so inspiring I can’t stop myself to watch their video, you guys should check Doddie Clark, Lucy Moon, and Lavendaire! They are basically talking about how to be honest with your own selves, to have self-loving, to embrace all the strengths and weaknesses you have in your life, to live in the moment and be a true human being, and to live your life to the fullest. Please, please watch their video to have a very very very bright insight to really live the life you love!

7. In love with Nicole Zefanya – Anaheim, Doddie Clark – Would You Be So Kind, and The Matter Halo ft. Nadin – Teralih! Please listen to all of them! Btw, speaking about Nicole Zefanya, she just launches a song called See U Never with a nickname NIKI. The song is kind r&b and hiphop, well I don’t really know the genre and the song is good but I obviously love her originals more. It is a big opportunity for her and maybe because she is still young she still wants to experiment a lot and maybe we may not hear her originals much at least not in near time. And I am so so so sad about it, because I just love her originals. Because she is so authentic with her clinginess, and the teenage high school behavior, and all the inspiring lyrics she writes that speak to me and hit me hard and so true and honest, and her piano or guitar’s melody that are so eargasm. I am gonna miss it so much. Whatever the path she chooses, I hope her little soul always walks her home.

8. Still have so many things to do in hometown; like going to the beach and enjoy the atmosphere until sun set or swimming in the beach from morning till noon, eating so much food that I can only find here, having a me time in a fast-food restaurant and going karaoke alone, hanging out to a new place with friends and family, reading books in the park on a cloudy afternoon, having a road trip or family vacation to Sabang, going to so many public place to think about my future (wahahah, the old semester students kinda behavior), and many more!

9. I have so many bucket list currently that I really hope I brave enough to literally make it real. I want to watch musical in Jakarta and join some conferences anytime soon, then I will do KKN, and hopefully do exchange, and some internship in the place I really want. Besides that I also want to travel to some city like Bandung and Karimun Jawa and I want to arrange some trip after graduating (so please graduate as much as you can!) in some neighbor countries. Hopefully I am brave enough to embrace all my plans and have so many savings due to the plans. May the force be with me!

10. Like I mention in some part of this writing, I feel like everyone is growing up including me. In the beginning of sixth semester if everyone asking about my planning to graduate or what kind of thesis I will write, I literally look at them weirdly and say things like, dude 6th semester not even finish and you already ask me that kind of question, and of course I don’t think about it yet because I don’t really want to graduate that fast. Actually why I said that because I am so freaking afraid what to do after graduating, because I have no idea what is my ability or passion that I literally can use for the real life and I literally don’t know what I have to do to have a bright future or to face this hard and tough life. But after going home and having some deep thoughts with friends and mom and dad, I kinda have hope. Like, I start to set goal about my graduation and my thesis kinda things, although still don’t know what to write as judul skripsi, help me ya Allah. I start knowing that dad is getting older also will retire soon, so I have to stop being a burden to mom and dad and I have to have a job before dad finally retire. The closest things I can do to at least have a job is graduating. So yeah, I have to graduate next year. It is also because of the invisible competition I have with my older sister, since she just graduates this year, I have to prove to my parents that next year I can also make them proud. Wish me luck please!

Well, that is all random things that come up in my mind during my absent time in tumblr. I know it is only 10 numbers but I don’t know why it can be that long! See, I talk and babble too much, that’s why I should keep writing consistently! Okay, hopefully the next writings will come anytime soon, please bare with me. See you in another post!

The finally write again happy little soul,

Me.

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