#floating through the universe {queue}

[spellcasterlight]

What’s one of your favorite tropes that you haven’t written for (or haven’t written for in a while)? If you want, write a little snippet about how you’d do it now.

Hi @full-frontal-lotus! Hi, friendddddd! 😁

Ooooooh! That's a good one! Not so much a trope but I have been thinking recently about trying to branch out and try a slightly darker-toned series because I've recently been on a Fallout binge.

I mean, I write Naruto stuff. If I got a bit better at writing things like violence (fight scenes specifically) or slow-creeping dread, I could do a lot more mission-type stories, which would be cool to explore!

Once I get through my current story request queue (I'm so close! Kinda🫠), I plan on releasing the next two bingo cards. The segment below will be the prologue to a FalloutAU one.

A not-completed, only-mildly-edited snippet is below!

Thank you for such a cool and sweet ask! 🎆

Ao3 ✨ |Story Request Bingo Cards 📖 | WIP Game Always Open ✒️| Ko-Fi ☕| Reblog Blog 🟢

Fallout AU Series: Chapter 1 - Prologue: War Never Changes

Warnings: Fallout Alternative Universe. Bombs. War. Minor Character Death.

Iruka wrote the number of current dead on the board, far higher than the two others combined. He forced his grip to tighten around the chalk in his hand to finish writing the last of too many digits.

“So,” he forced a pause to collect himself, feeling everyone's gaze in his direction but focused solely on the writing on the board, “the number of years each war is decreasing, but the death count is rising. What does that tell you?”

No one gave him a reply, not that he genuinely expected one. The room is so quiet the slight thud of him replacing his stick of chalk, sounding like one of the bombs they all feared, erupting decimation through their street, had already started to rain down.

Shikaku gave Iruka a subtle nod when he discreetly met the man's eyes. He agreed with how he made his point.

“Iruka Sensei.”

It took him a head shake and a few rapid blinks to realise that Sakura had spoken up. She was such a well-behaved student. Never cursing, handing in her homework on time and constantly raising her hand when she asked a question, but Iruka could see both her hands were occupied, one in both of her fathers and the other being grabbed onto by her mother so tightly all six of their hands looked ghost white. Hanging on to each other like a lifeline

“Yes, Sakura?”

“You never answered Ino before. Do you think the bombs will drop? Do you-do you think the world will-?”

Her sentence abruptly stopped when she what looked like painfully bit into her lip and bowed her head, both her dotting parents wrapping her in a hug; Mrs Haruno’s soft motherly reassurances floated on the otherwise silent air of it being okay, of everything being fine, that there was no need to cry. All lies.

Several of his more skittish and empathetic students looked at him with that same pleading in their eyes that Sakura had in her voice before it shattered.

In his classroom with him at that moment were some of the village's most amazing individuals, as well as some of the most broken children.

Gai Maito adopted two children with whom he had no possible connection and raised them to be healthy and loved when they were both too young to remember their parents, who would never return from the front lines. Tenten and Lee gripped one of his hands.

Shikamaru looked at his army battle hardened father with a wisdom beyond his years. Iruka, knowing that while he didn’t study for his Math or English tests, he skipped class to read thick tombs of battle strategies and inner army working, knowing his lineage was a path laid out for him and an important one he planned on continuing willingly.

All around the room, parents and children shared heartbroken, frightened looks. The three siblings from the Sand exchanged worried looks that the war would never end, that they would never be able to return home.

The prominent shining glaze of Fu’s eyes and shaking of her shoulders as she hugged herself and silence from the three from Kumogakure scared that the new home they had found would follow the ones they had already lost under a wave of never-relenting gunshots and explosions that created mountains of bodies of their former family, friends and fellow.

If the Land of Fire were flattened in bomb fire, there would be nowhere to start home number three and no one to start it with.

Iruka was a humble history teacher. He wasn’t a warrior or a great intellectual, and on some days, he didn’t even have the everlasting optimism that Gai Maito had. At that moment, he only had the ability to be honest with the children, nearly young adults, in front of him.

“I can’t see the future, Sakura,” he admitted, his voice barely holding together, only making the girl's green eyes cloud with more tears, “I can only tell you what history tells me. And it tells me war is violent-”

He turned back to the board, snatched the chalk back up, leaning into the spike of anger the conversation created to push on, and underlined the death toll for the First World War.

“devastating-”

He underlined the death toll for the Second World War.

“And-”

Finally, he underlined the death count for the Sound War before turning around.

“Continuous.”

[zorkaya-moved]

Morning, besties. Ya girl is back from her hiatus 1 day early, but only to update y'all beautiful souls about what's going on.

Did u miss seeing me and Zarina on ur dash (say yes 🔪)? ;)

I had the time to just chill out, concentrate on my real life, and understand that I'll be doing some things differently. I over-hoarded drafts and asks. Every year this happens, and I just never fucking learn, but I'll try to take my time to sort out everything. This means that I'll be looking through my endless list of drafts and finally replying to them (thank u brain for finally working).

I have a queue prepared to start tomorrow until 17-18th for now. It's 3 posts per day, but I'll keep it to 2 posts per day after 18th of March. I'll be absent today as well, even though I came back but it's like... Update-update. Still not going to reach out regarding plots because I'm still not back with those thoughts and ideas.

If YOU have ideas for plotting, through them at me!

It was SOOOOO NICE to take a break from Tumblr and just? Play games? Read books? Just vibe. Also re-connect with some of Zarina's personality traits that I've let to float around. Now, thanks to PTN, I finally understand how to write some of Zarina's apathetic sides and it made me super happy. I'll also post some of the metas I finally sat down to write. I just might continue this type of existence for the whole month of March due to how much I need to do.

I probably will be giving myself like week-long rests without Tumblr on my phone. I'll probably still take a bit of a long time to rest and not really communicate with anyone yet because I still feel like I need a bit more time there. I'm still playing games but I'm also especially busy this month (graduate school registrations, essays, recommendation letters, applying, all of that jazz). 'Cuz of that I'll probably full-on rely on queue. And yes, I wrote things over my hiatus because I just cannot leave my girl alone lmao. Thank u Google Docs for existing.

Hope y'all are safe. I've got things already queued. Today's gonna be a busy work day, and I've got a call with one of the universities before my application to ask some questions, yahoo! Have a fantastic day. Just know that the activity will only be continued through queue for now. I'll also try to limit my ooc posting because I think the amount that I posted made ME overwhelmed as well since I want to have more IC content to interact with people and not make others feel like I forgot or worse. I really was burnt out and I'm sorry if I hurt anyone, made them feel forgotten, or I made them annoyed with my activity/words/ooc posts.

I still struggle with replying to people socially/ooc-ly even in real life, but I'll try to do better. Over the course of my previous job, I was over-stressed but I also... lost touch with many people. And I didn't chase them because, yes, I didn't keep in touch and it was my fault. However, I will do my best to not let this happen again. I cannot promise anything as I still do not have stability in my life (and didn't have for the last, what, 5 years?) and I cannot make any definity promises. I promise to do better, but that's all I can do. And I will do my fucking best.

Oof, thanks you for reading this! Take care of yourselves. I'm gonna try to concentrate on drafts instead of asks these days because that's how active interactions go and I want to interact. Let's fucking go!!

[subliminalbointext]

One Shot #6: The Starlet and the Shape

“Ten years,” The Shape had said. “Ten years and then I will come to collect.”

Ten years seemed like a long time for the twenty-two year old Starlet. Back then she was just a struggling actress making rent playing bit roles on daytime TV. A few more months would have driven the starlet home like so many young women before her. But she was desperate, and that was when The Shape paid her its first visit.

Ten years later and the Starlet was the center of the universe. At least she felt she was. She was the focus of tabloids, the subject of hashtags, and IMDb’s number one actress four years running. Her yearly benefit, for whatever cause she could hardly remember, was the venue of the season. She had the final say on the guest list, and with the Brad Pitts and George Clooneys of the world all vying to attend, that made the Starlet one of the most powerful women in Los Angeles County. When she stood in the center of the crowd and flashed her white smile, everyone turned around to see.

It wasn’t just one deal that the Starlet struck with The Shape, but several. She started out small, offering a piece of her soul for a single role. “Just one role,” she begged. “Just one to get me started.”

But Anne Hathaway’s plucky best friend wasn’t enough for her. She wanted something bigger. Her own franchise. With every new deal, the terms of their agreement shortened. First it was seventy years, then it was sixty.

A blockbuster movie deal, a Hollywood mansion next to Ashton and Mila’s, and her own charity followed. Soon the Starlet found herself on her knees before The Shape begging, “I want it all. I need it all.”

“Ten years. Ten years and I will come to collect.”

Ten years passed quickly as The Shape lingered on the back of the Starlet’s mind. But when it didn’t come to collect she wondered if she’d imagined the whole thing. If the darkness that had crept into her one-room apartment that night and offered her everything she wanted hadn’t been some bizarre dream. In Hollywood they talked a lot about the power of positive thinking, and she wondered if The Shape was her way of visualizing everything that she wanted.

As she stood before the crowd of adoring guests, she prepared for her speech. “Ten years ago,” she said, raising a glass of champagne for the occasion. “I was just another waitress from the Midwest waiting for a producer to spot her.” She paused to allow the room of celebrities to offer their rehearsed chuckles. As they did so on queue, a chill creeped down the Starlet’s spine. She forced a smile and continued, “But I never…” She felt a breeze in the room, one that brought a kind of darkness. The darkness spread around her, it seemed to float between her guests, making their eyes glow, almost enviously. “Never,” she continued. “Never imagined I would be standing before all of you, my colleagues, my contemporaries…” The champagne was freezing in her hand. “Raising so much, giving back, to the homeless.” She tipped the glass and added, “Thank you.” Before rushing away with a gasp.

Her guests were left bewildered by the Starlet’s abbreviated message, but they gave her a polite applause as she stepped away.

The Starlet’s maid pulled her from the crowd and asked, “Are you alright, ma'am?” “Of course, Gloria,” the Starlet replied through deep breaths. “I’ve just had a bit too much to drink I guess.” The maid wore her doubt on her face, but she stuck to business. “You have a phone call in the study. It sounded urgent.”

The Starlet’s shoulders slumped. She knew she was running out of time. “Okay,” she said with a deep breath. “I’ll take it.”

The study was down the hall from the ballroom. She was happy to hear that her guests hadn’t let her disappointing speech ruin the evening. She wondered if The Shape would take her here with all of these witnesses. She imagined a world where she threw non-stop parties just to avoid her fate. She crept into the study and eyed the receiver, sitting just off to the side of the phone. Slowly she picked it up and held it to her ear. She said, “Hello?”

“Ten years,” The Shape said on the other line. “I am here to collect.”

The wind picked up around her, blowing pages from her desk.

“No!” she cried. “I need more time!”

“I have given you enough.” The shape said, this time the voice floating on the air. “It is time you gave me something.”

The Starlet fell to her knees as the phone hit the floor. She could still hear their voices down the hall. Her people. She opened her mouth to scream, but no one came for her. No one cared.

She could feel it creeping inside of her now, some kind of darkness taking hold of her soul. She dug her nails into the carpet, trying desperately to keep hold of herself.

The Shape spoke to her again, but this time the words came from her own mouth, poisoning her mind with new Truths. “There has never been a You. You have always been an extension of Me.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks as she repeated the words. “There is no me! There is no me!”

The voice took over again, “You will surrender yourself as my vehicle in this world, you will serve me as my most loyal thrall.” “I will!” she replied. “I exist only to obey. I belong to you! My body, my mind, my soul!”

“Ma'am?” the maid said as the Starlet exited her office. “Are you okay, ma'am?”

The Starlet simply offer a dark smile, pressing her hand to the maid’s face. All recognition melted from the woman’s eyes as she collapsed to her knees in service, The Shape and The Starlet’s first soldier.

[everythingkpopuniverse]

CASHCOMA GROUP SHOTS

Video Sources: (x) 

Disclaimer: Gifs and editing are mine. Please do not remove.

[unknownworlds4]

Death of Elisa Lam, 2013. In 2013, 21-year-old Canadian university student Elisa Lam was staying at the Cecil Hotel in Los Angeles, California. On January 31, she was reported missing by her family after they received no word from her on the day she was meant to check out. Hotel staff who had seen her that day reported that she was alone. The LAPD and her family searched the hotel and put up flyers around the neighborhood. On February 15, police released surveillance footage from one the hotels elevators. The two and a half minute video is the last known sighting of Lam. The footage shows her behaving strangely, making erratic hand gestures, talking to someone who isn’t there, pressing all the buttons on the elevator, and leaving the elevator while doors are open before coming back and seemingly hiding in the corner. She leaves for a second time and doesn’t return. The doors close soon after. Many who viewed the video found it unsettling. Theories explaining her behavior include being under the influence of ecstasy, attempting to evade someone pursuing her, or psychotic episode after it was made known she suffered from Bipolar Disorder. Some claimed the video was tampered with. During the search, hotel guests began complaining about low water pressure, and some complained about the taste and color of the water, saying it was black and tasted strange. On February 19, hotel maintenance worker Santiago Lopez discovered the body of Elisa Lam floating in one of the four of the buildings 1,000 gallon water tanks. She was found naked with her clothes and personal belongings floating near her. The tank was drained and taken apart to get her body out. The Coroners report found no evidence of physical trauma, sexual assault, or suicide. Toxicology tests found traces of the prescription medication she had among her personal effects, though there was evidence she was either under medicating or had stopped medicating all together recently. There was also a very small quantity of alcohol in her system. The authorities ruled the death an accidental drowning with Bipolar Disorder as a major factor. Many questioned how she got onto the roof and into the tank in the first place. All roof access doors were locked and only staff members had the keys. Any attempts to force the doors open would trigger an alarm. Though the fire escape would allow someone to bypass these security measures, her scent trail was lost near a window connected to the fire escape. How she got into the tank was another mystery. The tank was a 4 by 8 feet cylinder and supported by cinder blocks with no fixed access. Staff use ladders to get inside. The lids are heavy and difficult to move, although Lopez said the lid was open. Police dogs who searched the roof found no trace of her. Some argue that the autopsy information is incomplete. For example, the report does not state if the rape kit was processed. It also records blood pooling in the anal area, which some claim is a sign of sexual abuse. Since her death, Lams tumblr blog has been updated, presumably through the sites queue option. Her phone was never found so it is unknown if it’s the option, hacking, or facilitating by the stolen phone causing these updates. Numerous theories have been put out, including paranormal involvement as the Cecil Hotel is famous for its history of murders and deaths that have taken place in the building.

[avewritesmr]

Could you make a Soulmate AU with Lee Felix please? my baby needs affection♥️

Prompt: Soulmate!AU, seeing colour when you touch for the first time

Word Count: 1351 words

Pairing: Lee Felix x Male!Reader

Group: Stray Kids

Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst

A/N: I completely agree anonie, our boy Felix needs a lot of tender love and care ✨, I hope you like this 💖

Felix waved to the crowd with a smile on his face, he had stopped to talk to Eric when he spotted him and his group had already made it halfway across the stage by the time he realised that they were leaving.

He had rushed forward in hopes of catching up with them while trying to make it seem like he wasn’t panicking at the prospect of being left behind.

He kept waving to the crowd with a smile and politely bowing to idols he walked by while trying to avoid running after Chan. Apparently the constant waving was a bad idea because it meant he wasn’t really watching where he was going on the crowded stage.

He made hard contact with someone and felt himself slip backwards, he let out and oof when he fell and closed his eyes trying to fight the blush that was growing on his cheeks.

“Are you okay? I am sorry I should have been watching where I was going.”  Felix looked up at the older idol standing in front of him.

He vaguely recognised him as a rapper from a group but he wasn’t sure if they’d ever met before, he did remember Changbin talking to him backstage once but that must have been a while ago now.

the idol was offering his hand to help him up, Felix reached forward and took hold of the others hand.

It felt like an explosion had gone off in the room. Everything bloomed into colour, the monochromatic white and grey was replaced by colours Felix knew the name of but couldn’t even begin to describe. How he recognised them all was beyond him.

Felix couldn’t hear anything, the deafening sound of the crowd faded into nothing.

When he looked up he met confused eyes and what he assumed was disappointment.

It felt like an eternity before y/n seemed to remember they were on a stage in front of thousands of people.

He pulled Felix up and guided him through the crowd of idols wordlessly to his own group mates.

Felix was sure he would have collapsed if the older let go of his hand, he felt weak and dizzy and through all the confusion that made his head feel heavy he could feel fear.

Fear that if he let go of the other man he would collapse, the colours would fade and he would go back to monochromatic life that he didn’t know he hated until he saw colour.

Fear that he wouldn’t be able to love the other like the universe had destined him to.

Fear that the other wouldn’t love him.

Painful and crippling fear permeated through the haze that was clouding his mind.

He could see Chan only a few steps away, he was looking at them with concern.

Felix didn’t know how he would explain what was happening to him or any of the others.

When they reached him, Chan instinctively wrapped an arm around his waist supporting him, making sure his weak knees wouldn’t have to hold more than they could at the moment.

A silent understanding seemed to pass between y/n and Chan and then Felix was in the dressing room laying on a couch.

The last thing he could clearly remember was y/n telling him that he’d come find him backstage in a bit. The trip from on stage to the dressing room had been a blur of confusion and concerned glances that Felix couldn’t quite comprehend.

When his head began to clear again he noticed that the colours hadn’t faded away and his shoulders relaxed a little.

Chan was sitting next to him, they were both silent for a long time, the other members sitting around the room, where whispering amongst themselves but Felix didn’t have the energy to make out what they were saying.

“Are you okay? You were shaking for so long I was starting to get worried.” Felix frowned, had he really been shaking? he hadn’t noticed.

“I can see colours?” He wasn’t sure if he was asking the others or himself.

“You don’t want to see them ‘Lix?” Felix shook his head, he wanted to see them he had been thinking about this moment for a very long time. Colours were beautiful and Felix never wanted to live without them again.

“They’re beautiful.” Felix  could feel tears welling up in his eyes, he wasn’t sure why.

“Yeah, they are.” Chan agreed with him.

“Does that mean, he is my soulmate?” Chan nodded silently.

Felix swallowed a thick lump in his throat.

The silence in the room was interrupted by a knock at the door.

Felix already knew who it was, he watched Chan and Changbin slip out of the room, he wondered what they would say to y/n, what he would say to them.

A few minutes later the door was opened again and a nervous looking y/n walked in, he wasn’t wearing the suit he had been wearing when Felix bumped into him.

The others in the room took his coming as their queue to leave, Felix met Chan’s eyes across the room, the older gave him a reassuring nod before he closed the door.

When they were alone Felix felt whatever self constraints he had placed on himself to not cry evaporate.

The tears came hot and hard, they accompanied sobs that hurt his chest, he buried his head into his hands and when he could hear no visible response from the other and he thought he had scared him off.

The fear that the other was disappointed it was him floated to the forefront of his mind again, in the few strangled seconds it took y/n to navigate across the room and wrap his arms around Felix, the younger had already seen a future where he would be alone unloved.

Felix looked up tear stained cheeks and watery eyes at y/n, the other just smiled at him.

“I am sorry, I don’t know why you are hurting so much, but I am sorry.” Felix shook his head at the unexpected words.

“I am just scared.” y/n looked confused.

“I am scared because I don’t know if I can love you, we’ve never talked before this, I am scared you might not be able to love me, I am just really scared.” Felix elaborated.

y/n nodded in understanding, “That’s valid, being scared, is completely valid, I am scared as well.”

“Yeah, we’ll you’re not a sobbing snotty mess.” y/n laughed and Felix felt a blush creeping up his cheeks, was the older laughing at him?

“What do you think I was doing in the half hour it took me to come to your dressing room?” Felix frowned at the question, was the older telling him he had cried as well?

Felix’s mind just wasn’t keeping up with the situation he was in.

y/n smiled at him again, he pulled away from the hug but kept a comforting hand on Felix’s shoulder.

They sat in silence for a while, Felix’s sobbing had calmed down, his tears, while still traveling down his cheeks, had slowed.

“The colours are beautiful, when I touched your hand and I saw them I was amazed, but when I looked at you, it was like everything had stopped.” y/n’s voice sounded breathless.

“Why?” Wasn’t it obvious enough?

“You’re beautiful, I mean I’ve seen you before, at event and such, but seeing your eyes and freckles as they really are, with colour, man, really made me realise how beautiful you are.” Felix could feel a blush creeping up his neck again.

“oh.” they returned to their silence again, the tension had eased away and Felix had moved so he was leaning against y/n’s chest, his head on the others shoulder.

“It’s okay to be scared,” Felix muttered, y/n hummed his agreement, “We should go out to have a cup of coffee.”

y/n nodded wordlessly, when Felix pulled away he could see a smile on y/n’s face.

Felix leaned up and kissed him, short and chaste, he could feel y/n’s arms tightening around him.

It was okay to be scared but Felix was sure he would love y/n and y/n would love him.

[celesterunewhisper]

Day 11 - Watch

Tik. Tik. Tik. The slow sounds of an unseen grandfather clock audibly marked the choking silence that engulfed the elaborate living room. On any other day, the room might have felt comforting, perhaps even welcoming; however, the tension that wove itself with that damn ticking almost made sitting in the room unbearable. In the center of the den, two large couches—red and gold in hue, as was the rest of the decor—were set facing each other with an elegant coffee table between them. Next to the couches, an oversized chair sat to meet the entire room, sitting there like a throne; the fireplace flickering behind the high-back chair only served to cast a menacing shadow over any who sat in it. Compared to the rest of the furniture, it was clear the chair was moved deliberately into the room for whatever purpose the mysterious gathering served. The rest of the decorations of artwork and statues were purely there to display the wealth of the Crimsonburn family. Sitting in the throne chair, a middle-aged Quel'dorei man gazed out at the crowd of three with his beady, contemplating blue eyes. His complexion was lined with not only age but experience in the thralls of stressful politics. He wore elaborate robes of red and maroon and had his white-blond hair slicked back for the occasion. Lord Norath Crimsonburn glanced to the two men on the couch to his left. The elder of the two—looking not too much older than Norath—had long straight black hair, partially braided to keep his bangs from his face sporting robes of violet and slate-gray. A younger man sported the same hues in attire and hair; however, he had his short and slicked back similar to the Lord of the house. “You have met my wife, Lady Larae Crimsonburn, Lord Velvetlight?” Norath then glanced to the woman on the opposite couch who was meek in appearance with short, curly red hair and gorgeous robes of crimson. He smirked when her matching blue eyes locked with his, only for her to look to the table with discomfort seconds later. It thrilled him to see her so obediently in her place. The raven-haired gentleman raised a dark brow at the Lord of the house. “Indeed. A fetching catch. However, it is your daughter, my son, and I wish to meet.”

“Her tardiness is unorthodox, I assure you. Perhaps, she is nervous about being among such distinguished companies.” Norath replied, his voice icy and uncomfortably calm. Lord Velvetlight simply sighed before reaching forward towards the coffee table. An array of refreshments rested upon the wooden surface, including snacks, tea, coffee, and wine. The guest Lord helped himself to a glass of the latter. A superb Dalarn red; year 450K.C, much before the wondrous city made its floating charge to Northrend. An expensive taste with the delicate bite of a lingering arcanic crisp. Not enough to quell Lord Velvetlight's patience, unfortunately. As if the swelling distaste was the perfect queue, a young elven woman was politely escorted into the room by a servant of the manor. Her short hair matched both the curliness of her mother's and the pale blonde hues of her father's, and just like her parents, the Crimsonburn colours painted her corsetted, victorian gown. The servant didn't stay long and left the young woman to linger awkwardly at the door; her blue eyes glanced to her father's with an apologetic expression. Norath smiled, yet no humour or kindness touched his eyes. “My daughter; Lady Celeste Crimsonburn. What a pleasure for you to have finally indulged us with your presence.” Celeste winced, immediately curtseying before Norath, with her head low, “My apologies, father,” she spoke carefully, turning her attention to the two guests in their home. “I thank you for your patience, my Lords.” Her politeness was useless at this point; she had already disappointed Norath to irreparable levels that night. But, she still had a role in maintaining, lest she made it worse for herself. “Take a seat, Celeste,” Norath instructed cooly. “You remember Lord Velvetlight, don't you?” Truthfully, Celeste did not. However, she forced herself to dig through her memories in an effort not to embarrass herself further. She took a shot in the dark. “You...were a guest speaker at Sunstrider University. You taught a lecture for my Introduction to Political Theory class.” As she spoke, attempting to sound confident in her answer, she sat beside her silent mother. “Ah, so you do remember. Excellent.” Lord Velvetlight looked pleased. “I also met you in your adolescent years, but I do not expect you to remember something eighty years ago.” There was a momentary pause as the Lord took a sip of his wine. “I would like to introduce to you my son, Lord Zan Velvetlight. A proud Magister of Quel'thalas and Scryer under the ranks of Astalor Bloodsworn's trusted Arcanists.” Zan stood to his feet to bow towards Celeste, “A pleasure, my Lady.” Instinctively, Celeste held her hand towards the expecting man, to which he took and placed a gentlemanly kiss upon it. She was used to such gestures with her family's position in the noble hierarchy; however, she could never bring herself to enjoy that flavour of attention. It took everything in her power not to grimace as Zan retook his seat. “The pleasure is mine, Lord Zan.” “Celeste, why don't you elaborate for Lord Velvetlight more about your education,” Norath commented in a thinly veiled order. “Yes, indeed,” Lord Velvetlight began, “I am very interested in hearing more about the daughter Lord Crimsonburn has been raving about.” Celeste rose a brow at the strangeness of the conversation, and she couldn't help but glance at her mother for answers. However, when Larae met her daughter's gaze, her bright eyes glazed over with sadness. For some reason, the woman could not bring herself to speak out of turn and left her daughter to the thralls of confusion. “Right,” Celeste breathed, now looking to Lord Velvetlight—vividly aware of her father's icy gaze boring down on her while she spoke. “I have been studying the economics of the country primarily. Provincial stabilization, governance, representation through the monarchy, and the delicate balance of power and influence.” She took a deep breath, “I hope to follow in my father's footsteps of becoming a member of King Sunstrider's advocates.” This, of course, was an utter lie. “Ah, such high expectations. So much in common with my son.” Lord Velvetlight hummed with satisfaction. Zan spoke to provide context to his father's statement. “I hope to enlist within the Kirin Tor eventually. Put more experience under my belt to either rise further with the Magisters of Quel'thalas or, perhaps, a cozy seat on the council of the Magus Senate.” Arrogance coated his tongue as he spoke a matter of factly. Celeste forced an interested smile to her face and spoke with perfunctory attentiveness. “How do you not burn yourself out from such strenuous tasks?” Zan's ego predictably inflated as he smirked with bottomless pride towards Celeste. “Because I am superior. Other low-lives let opportunities pass them by, while intellectual men must rise to guide this wayward Kingdom. I intend to learn all I can to do so.” Celeste felt her blood run cold as her smile faltered. “Ah—your...father is right about...sharing high ambitions, then. I suppose.” Another lie. She wanted nothing more than to leave both the conversation and company. Norath spoke up once more, “It is as I said, Lord Velvetlight. It would be a flawless arrangement that will benefit both sides of the political spectrum. We must act upon the traditions of the monarchy's system before the ambitious Prince threatens to change the whole thing. What with that Theron whispering in his ear.” “Father, what are you talking about—” Celeste began. “You will speak when you are spoken to.” Norath snapped. Then turning back to Lord Velvetlight, he continued as if the outburst never happened. “What say you?” “Zan?” Lord Velvetlight glanced to his son, asking a vague question Celeste still did not understand the context of. The younger lord gave Celeste a once-over before smirking. “I find it both an excellent strategy and a rather lovely match. I agree to Lord Crimsonburn's proposition if you are inclined to act upon it, father.” Lord Velvetlight smiled. “Then our deal has been settled. The ceremony will be scheduled for the end of the month as planned.” “Perfect.” Norath grinned. “I have already arranged for their housing, as well. A gift for the new family, hm?” Lord Velvetlight chuckled, “So generous, my Lord.” Zan bowed his head, “I generously accept, Lord Crimsonburn.” Norath stood to his feet, and the other two lords followed suit. “A rather short meeting, but I understand you and your son are rather busy this evening.” “It has been a pleasure, Lord Crimsonburn. Till the ceremony, then.” And soon, Celeste was alone in the den with her father. Her mother couldn't bear to be in the room any longer, and she still didn't understand why. Norath gestured his hand silently towards Celeste, allowing her to speak freely. “What was that all about, father?” “We plan on uniting our causes together, Lord Velvetlight and I. The details are none of your concern, but we came up with an ideal way to permanently seal our partnership. A bargaining chip, if you must.” Norath responded as if Celeste's question was foolish. “What was the bargaining chip?” she asked hesitantly. “You, my dear,” Norath said. “You are.” The silence was almost deafening if it wasn't for that rhythmic ticking. “I beg your pardon?” Her voice was almost inaudible. Norath sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Ignorant girl. You are to wed Lord Zan. What did you think I meant when I said 'ceremony'?” His blue eyes narrowed at his daughter. Celeste's jaw nearly dropped to the floor; however, she closed it quickly before her father sneered. “Wait,” she breathed, “I just met him. I don't even know him!” “Frankly, my dear, I couldn't care less if you loved him or hated him. This is out of your control.” “You can't make me marry a stranger!” she shouted, standing to her feet. Norath was swifter than Celeste anticipated, and as he stood to his feet as well, the back of his ringed hand made contact with his daughter's cheek with an audible slap. Her face jerked to the side from the force, and her hands immediately went to cup the welt with a shaking whimper. “I can.” Norath towered over his trembling daughter. “Just watch.”

@daily-writing-challenge​ @howlingowl-wra​

[lesbian-deadpool]

Roses In A Storm

Part Three: What A Time To Be Alive

Prelude | Part One | Part Two | Part Three

Natasha Romanoff x Reader

Words: 5,681

Warnings: Talks of alcoholism and recovery, family issues, Red-Skull (hes’s a Nazi, that’s a warning in its own lmao), heights, light angst, talks of self deprecation/hate, explosions, talks of abuse/violence/murder/death, space stuff, I thin that may just be it.

Request: Yes. Many times.

Summary: The end of the journey.

A/N: Welcome to the end of this story! I really hope you liked this fucked up ride. If you want someone to thank for making me writhe this fic, then you best go bother @missmonsters2​ lol! Hope this is what you wanted wifey!

Ko-Fi

(Not My GIF)

***

That's all it takes.

A few words from Tony Stark and you're on the right path again.

Well...

As right as it can be.

The past few months had been long and gruelling.

There were times, too many than you wanted to admit, where you just wanted to give up. But you never did. And that was largely thanks to Tony and his family.

You would colour or play adventure with Morgan, cook with Pepper and Tony. Helped where you could with Tony and his inventions, but mainly you would just watch him, letting him distract you as he worked away, while you two conversed. You even became a "stand-in Assistant" when Pepper was rushed with mass amounts of work.

Whenever you were craving alcohol, Tony would always say the same thing:

"Sorry, Strange's orders."

"Since when did you take anyone's orders?"

"Since we could get Natasha back."

He was a real bastard, sometimes.

"Have you seen your parents yet?" he had asked, a little over a month into your recovery.

In your silence, Tony knew your answer.

"It's been seven months, Y/N-"

"I know how long it's been," you snapped. You rubbed at your forehead with a frustrated sigh. Trying to fight off the spinning in your head, "I can't see them like this, Tony. They were so proud of me and everything I've done- Did. Everything I did," you clarified, "And If I go to them now. What are they going to see? An alcoholic failure, who quit their job, is now a fucking hitman. And is in love with a woman- who is, apparently, inside of a fucking stone! What are they gonna say to that? Huh?"

"They still love you, Y/N."

You had tears in your eyes as you shook your head. He was right, you knew that, but you still couldn't see them. You knew you wouldn't be able to bear it if they saw you like this.

"Please, Y/N. Go home. See them. Tell them you love them," Tony practically begged you, "Trust me. You only get so long with them. You should know that you've lost people you love, too."

"I know..." you said weakly.

And that was the end of that conversation.

Yeah.

He really was a bastard, sometimes.

But now, five and a half months later, you felt better.

You felt so much better.

And you had finally seen your parents.

For the first time, in a year.

Your interaction with them had been just as Tony had said it would be. They welcomed you with open arms. Telling you how much they loved you. How proud of you they still were. They told you there was no reason for you to apologise.

Fuck Tony Stark and how right he was.

That bastard.

***

You felt like a stranger walking through these halls, but familiar to the surroundings at the same time. Almost like you were walking the halls of your old school.

It was... eerie?

Was that even the best term to use, to describe this feeling? You didn't know. But it felt right.

Agents, visitors, and trainees all the like, regarded you as you walked. All knew of who you were. Most knew what had happened the last time you had been at HQ, from either witnessing it themselves or through the grape-vine.

But it was their own fault when they jumped out of their skin, as you kicked open the door of your destination, as they should have known you hadn't lost your spunk.

"Right! Listen up, motherfuckers!" you yelled, making the people inside the room snapped their attention to you, shock rippling throughout their bodies, as you slammed the door shoot behind you. "I'm coming back to work!"

You could tell Fury was about to say something, from where he sat at the top of the table, in between Tony and Strange. With Maria stood to the side behind her boss. Her eyebrows raised at you, and a small -almost unnoticeable- smile on her face.

"Don't you dare, I'm not done yet!" You pointed at Fury, who leaned back in his seat and regarded you, allowing you to carry on with what you were saying. "I'm coming back, but I have some conditions-!"

"'Conditions'?" he asked.

"Yes. Conditions. Firstly, this is a one-time thing. I'm not taking my job back. I don't work for you. I'm working with you. For. This. Mission. Only. Okay?" No objections. You nodded your head once. "Secondly. I will do as you say, but I have a say on who is involved in this mission. If I don't want them here. They don't get to be. Because if I have to look at Clint's face- Even though I do know that Nat wasn't really his fault. I'm still gonna rip his throat out-"

"Now, Y/N. You have no-"

"Ah- Ah- Ah," You cut Fury off. "I'm still not done yet. Coming off of my second point. Wade gets to be there when I say so."

"Now that's definitely not happening!"

"I agree with Fury, Y/N. That is total insanity," Strange voiced up.

"Well, I guess that's tough tittys for you guys. Because those are my conditions. If you don't like it, then that's your problem."

Fury was about to speak when Tony cut him off.

"Just give 'em what they want. It's not like you were gonna involve anyone else. And so what if this Wade guy joins? It's another pair of hands."

"You don't know him."

"You'd like him," you said.

“Oh, now I want him to join more. If I'd like him, and these guys can't stand him."

"I agree with Stark, no matter how much it pains me," Maria spoke, gaining everyone's attention.

"Maria?" Fury asked almost, shocked, "You know what Wilson is like. You've read his files."

"I have." She nodded. "And although he is unorthodox, as the best way to put it... he gets things done. And if he cares for Y/N as much as he said he does. He will do well in helping us."

"Thank you, Maria!"

"Jesus Christ," Fury sighed.

"Wait," Tony said, "Who is Wade to you?"

You shrugged. "He's my best friend. Well, one of them."

"But I'm your best friend!"

"You're one of them!"

"Are you best friend cheating on me?!"

"Can we not do this here?" you asked him, knowing that when you arrived back at the cabin, you were in for a mass amount of questions, and would be forced to say who your best-best friend was.

You suddenly never wanted to leave the small, closed off, conference room.

"Fine," he huffed.

"Fury?" you asked. Cocky smile on your face. Knowing he was at a crossroads, and one direction was blocked.

"Okay," he said slowly.

"Pleasure doing business with you, Nick."

"Anyway..." Strange began, "Now that we've got everything settled-"

"I missed the whole meeting?" you pointed out.

"-I should be taking my leave now."

"Yeah, send me home too, Dumbledore," Tony "asked", standing up, too.

"Y/N. I'll be in touch." And with that, he and Tony walked through separate portals.

"Wow. So, I've gotta make my own way home? Nice."

Walking over to the door, you spoke your goodbyes. Pausing, only when you were out of the door to say one last condition, "Oh, and also. I get paid three times of what my yearly salary was."

"For this one mission?"

"Yes. For this journey, as Mr Wizardly would put it."

With his silence, was his agreement.

"Bye!" You took your exit.

***

"Where are we going, now?" you asked, strutting into the office at Tony's cabin. Which had become your "base of operations" so to say. Knoticing that the whole team was there.

Tony, Stephen, Fury, Wade, and Maria. Who usually stayed behind, being everyone's eyes and ears.

This must be an essential part of the mission.

You had spent the last three months under Strange's order. You, Tony, and hell even Fury running around collecting all out the things he needed. Mainly books. Sometimes Wade accompanied you on your missions. Keeping things more than entertaining.

"Space."

"The final frontier," you whispered in a far off voice, the same look in your eyes. Tony, laughing at your overdramatics. "But seriously," you continued, words now sober from their previous humour, "Is this it? Are we going to finish this?"

"With any luck," Tony nodded.

"Our ride will be here soon," Fury informed you.

"Our ride?"

"The walking talking build a bear."

"That would be so cool to have," Wade gushed, gaining some weird looks in return.

"The raccoon?" you asked, but still smiling at your scarred friend.

"I believe his name was 'Rocket'."

"Rocket The Raccoon," you said, "D' ya think he got inspiration from The Beatles song 'Rocky Raccoon'?"

"That would be something, wouldn't it?" Maria asked not expecting a reply. But she did smile back at you when you threw her one.

Before anyone could say another word, a low rumbling shook the ground slightly, the sound of jets filling the air.

And that was everyone's queue to run out of the cabin, only to see the spaceship you assumed belonged to the raccoon and his crew, floating above the large lake next to Tony's property. The hatch slowly coming down to rest on the docks.

"Hey, losers!" The rough voiced raccoon called out, from the end of the ship, beginning to descend the hatch.

"Is that any way to talk to your friends?!" you called over.

"I don't know you! And yes!"

"Speaking of your friends, where are they?" you asked curiously, once he got close.

"I ditched em at a bar," Rocket shrugged. "They'll be fine. It's my ship anyway."

Everyone laughed at the exchange, soon rushing back inside to grab everything they needed, Tony saying bye to his family, before you all boarded the aircraft.

***

"Oh, yeah. He was in love with death."

Somehow, the conversation had spurred onto the subject of the purple titan, you loathed with your entire being.

"I'm sorry," you began, "What?"

"Thanos. He "killed" half of the universe to impress death," Wade explained.

"Oh! So that's the real reason he did it!" you yelled, beginning your rant, "He made up this whole bullshit story about overpopulation or something. Instead of just saying, "I'm doing this to impress a girl"! Wow. Good to know toxic masculinity exists in space too."

Thankfully the conversation soon changed to the mission back at hand, with small amounts of banter being thrown around, that always followed you guys around.

"Why couldn't you have just teleported us there?" you asked Strange, who was standing in front of you, a little off to the side, in the now space-born ship.

"Because I can only teleport on the same planet that I am on."

You paused, "Makes sense..." And then. "But, we're in space. Should that mean you're able to travel anywhere, then?

"That's not how it works."

"Sound's like bullshit, but okay."

Before Strange could voice his retort, Rocket spoke from the pilot's seat.

"Leave the idiot be. What's the worse that's happening here? You're having a day-trip, boo-hoo."

"Yeah. A "day-trip". To the place where the love of my life threw herself off of a cliff. Sacrificing herself for half of the universe. Great fucking day-trip."

"Okay, yeah. That's less good," he said.

***

The planet was truly beautiful, in a desolate way. Covered wholly in sand, and lakes. Everything taking on a purple hue from the sky and clouds surrounding it. A truly gigantic mountain stood strong before you. You didn't want to admit it, but you were considerably intimidated by the large mass. And to top it all off, there was a permanent solar-eclipsed sun sitting in the sky.

You would have loved experiencing a whole new planet. Even a seemingly empty one.

If you didn't hate this place that is.

Also, the fact that you had to. Climb. The Fucking. Mountain.

If someone would have told you there would be this much exercise involved, you would have convinced Colossus to come, just to carry you up there.

You arrived, panting, at the top of the mountain. Only to be greeted by a creepy floating man, with a red skull for a head.

Fury knew him. Quickly telling you that his name was Red-Skull -surprising- and that he was one of the most notorious Nazis from WWII.

Yep.

You instantly despised him.

He told you each the name of one of your parents, then continued on with an obviously well-rehearsed speech about the Soul Stone, and yada, yada, yada.

Tony brushing past him, saying "We're not interested in what you're selling, shitty evil Ghostrider." With you all trailing after him, smiles on your faces.

And you never heard another pep from the self-proclaimed, "Guardian Of The Stone".

"Well, spank me and call me "daddy"!" Wade called, peering over the ledge of the cliff. "That's a long way down."

You joined him in looking over the edge. Your heart instantly dropping into your stomach.

You couldn't even see the bottom.

You can't imagine how terrified Natasha must have been dangling off of this thing. Only to kick herself off, and into the cloudy abyss.

"Fuck," was all you could breathe.

You only just noticed Tony standing beside you, when he asked FRIDAY to scan the height fo the cliff. Her voice coming out through his suit, so that everyone could hear.

"The cliff's height is approximately three thousand six hundred and ninety point nine hundred and forty-five feet, boss."

"Jesus Christ," you uttered, moving away from the edge, palm resting on your forehead. As thoughts of Natasha falling all that way down filled your mind.

You gave yourself a few moments to breath through your incoming panic attack. Luckily you were unable to see the worried, yet understanding glances everyone was throwing you, behind your closed eyes.

"So... how does this shit work?" you then asked, wanting to hurry with all of this.

You just wanted to get your girl back.

"Y/N," Strange said, beginning to get irritated by you already, "We literally talked about this a few weeks ago."

"Yeah? And I've slept since then," you remarked back.

***

After strang had done whatever the fuck he had done with his magic. You watched in complete awe, as the portal to the Soul World opened up.

But it wasn't any "normal" portal.

The eclipsed sun slowly started to be revealed, only this time if you looked at it, it didn't burn your eyes. You only saw what could be best described as an orange-yellow coloured black hole.

That was the fucking portal.

"Oh." You swallowed, turning to face Strange, "How the hell do we get up there?"

"We already are."

"What-?" you asked confused until you looked over your shoulder at your surroundings. Everything was bare and coated in a warm light, not even an inch of water below your feet. "What the fuck?!"

"Welcome to the soul world."

You were still eternally shocked as Tony began to speak.

"So. So, how does this work?"

"The Soul World only allows "visitation" to the last to be sacrificed. All we need to do is find her, and pull her out."

"Seems simple enough," Wade said, hands on his hips as he looked around, "You think I can get some grub in this place?"

"Don't be an idiot, Wilson," Fury told him, "Now let's go find our girl."

It didn't take long. Only a few minutes of walking until you spotted the structure upfront.

Quickening your pace, you walked up to what seemed to be an open planned coffee shop. Open planned with the outside. And not just any coffee shop. It was the one you and Natasha used to frequent often.

With a red-head, back turned to you, sitting at your usual table.

"Natasha?" you asked voice close to a whisper, the silence surrounding the world you were in amplifying your volume, ensuring she could hear you.

Red-blonde hair swished over shoulder, as Natasha hastily turned to see you.

"Y/N?" she asked you, voice identical to how yours was. The Russian didn't wait for your answer, the chair sloshing through the water, as she sprinted over to you. Throwing herself into your arms.

It was like a dam broke. The moment she touched you, tears poured down your face, like rivers. You held her close to your body, head buried into her soft, wavy hair.

Natasha was sobbing into your shoulder. Hugging you tightly enough for it to hurt.

You finally had her in your arms, just like you had dreamt of for over a year. Ever since you came back.

And yet, all you could think of was how disappointed in yourself you were.

You didn't deserve her. After all of the shit, you had done while she was gone. All of the mercenary jobs, the violence, the drinking and drugs. The hate that settled in your stomach, which caused you to lash out at the world and people who dared to cross you.

Everything.

She deserved so much better.

However, all you could do was pull her closer, and repeat, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry," into her bright auburn locks.

"What are you sorry for."

"I." You swallowed your tears, looking into Natasha's wet emerald eyes. "I've done awful things while you were gone, Natasha. I became someone awful."

"Hey," Wade said behind you, slightly insulted. Which you ignored.

"I killed people. Some in cold blood. And all because they said bad things about you. I was lost. And you don't deserve that."

Natasha placed her hands on your wet cheeks, yours staying on her waist, knowing what you were about to say.

"You should find someone who deserves to be with you."

"You do deserve me," she begged you to understand, "I don't want anyone else but you! If there's anyone who doesn't deserve the other, it's me."

"Don't say that."

"Then don't say you don't deserve me. I only want you," she repeated, to get it through your head, "Only you. No one else. I don't care what you've done, or who you were while I was gone. You're still you. Right now, you're you. And that's all I want. It's all I need. You."

You sniffled harshly, realising how stupid you were with a shake of your head.

"I love you," you confessed, "I'm so in love with you, Natasha. It's crazy."

"Then let's be crazy together."

That was the last thing either of you said before she helped guide your lips to hers.

Finally sharing your first kiss.

At long last.

There wasn't the stereotypical fireworks that everyone spoke about when your lips met.

Only warmth.

Kissing Natasha didn't feel like an explosion. It felt like coming home after a long day. Being welcomed with the warm glow of a fire, and a spiced drink warming up your chest.

That's what kissing Natasha felt like.

Heaven.

Home.

You pulled back to the sounds of sniffles.

Eyebrows furrowed, you both looked over to the men behind you. Never once moving away from the other.

They were crying.

All of them.

Even Wade was under his mask.

"Are you guys crying?" you asked with a smile.

"No." Tony nodded, telling you that his words were false.

Strange wiped at the wetness under his eyes, while Wade openly sobbed, his shoulders shaking, pulling one of his guns to his chest as a form of comfort. Rocket was even using his tail to wipe at his eyes, turning away from you all.

"Even you fury?"

"I'm not crying," the Director, said with a slight wave in his voice.

"Really? Because I think that you are. Don't you, Natasha?"

The red-head nodded at you in confirmation.

"I'm not." Was all Fury said before he grabbed his eye patch and moved it to cover his leaking eye. "See."

Natasha let out a wet laugh, rushing over to bring Tony and Fury into a shared hug. All of them letting out a few more tears at the reunion.

Her knees splashing in the water as she pulled the still crying fur-ball into her arms.

Then going over to greet Strange with a hug of his own. And finally giving Wade the same treatment.

"I'm Wade," he introduced himself when she pulled back, "I'm Y/N's best, best friend. Because I'm better than the billionaire Sherlock over there."

"Is that so?" she chuckled.

"It absolutely is not!" Tony yelled.

Natasha shook her head with a smile, making her way over to you, and tucking herself into your side. Her head coming to rest on your shoulder, as she watched two of your best friends bicker at who was your "best, best friend".

"I'm sorry I didn't come sooner," you apologised.

"You came. And that's all that matters."

"C'mon guys," Tony said, his fingers now wiping under his eyes, "Don't make us cry again."

"I didn't stop," Wade informed you all, raising his hand.

You all chuckled at the man.

Before you decided you wanted out. You wanted to take your girl home.

"Right, now how do we get out of here?"

"We already are," Strange told you.

Looking around, you saw that you were now standing on the cliff's ledge, of Vormir. Natasha still nestled under your arm.

"How in the fuck do you do that?"

"I wizard never reveals his tricks," Tony said, "You know that, Y/N."

"The other stones are destroyed," Strange suddenly said, gaining everyone's attention. "We have to destroy the soul stone."

"But that will require a sacrifice," Natasha said, trying to keep the fear out of her voice, though you could hear hints of it.

"On it!" Wade yelled, making his way past you, and towards the edge of the cliff.

Only stopping when you fisted your hand into the arm of his suit, then pulling him back.

"No. None of us are dying today."

"But, Y/N. I'm immortal-

"No," you interrupted him, voice hardening as to get your point across. "It's a soul for a soul. You go off that cliff, you come back without a soul. And I'm not letting that happen."

"Then how in the fuck are we supposed to destroy the stone?!" Rocket gruffed.

At your prolonged silence, Tony asked, "What are you thinking?"

"This was built as a shrine for stone right?"

"That's what I've been told. Yes," Strange confirmed.

"You said before- Weeks ago. When we were talking about everything, that the word "tomb" would be better to describe it, than "shrine"."

"Yes..." he said slowly, watching as you pieced everything together.

"Tombs normally hold things."

"Yes."

"Oh my, God," Tony breathed in realisation.

"Rocket? How many explosives do you have on the ship?"

"What are you suggesting?" Natasha asked from where she was still tucked into your side.

"We blow the shrine off of the fucking rock."

"How do you know that will work?"

Not bothering to answer his question, you said, "Nick. Get Danvers down here. Once we blow the shrine to smithereens, she comes along and blasts it with all the power she has." You then turned to face him. "Only an infinity stone can destroy an infinity stone. Ergo, so can it's creations. I mean how do you explain Wanda?"

"Well, this seems to be settled then," Wade stated, "So, let's head back to the ship, call your friend Danvers, and get me some food to eat. Because I'm starving," he finished starting to make his way towards the many, many stairs. To where the ship was waiting for you down below.

"What about the creepy weirdo over here?" Rocket asked, moving his thumb towards Red-Skull.

"I heard my own stories about him... leave him. Nazi fucks like him deserve to rot in hell."

"Here, here!" Wade called, "Now, can we go?"

"But what if we accidentally blow up the planet?" Tony. Asking the sensible questions. And making, one of, your best friends groan at being made to stop his trek for food. "I mean. We don't know how resilient this place is."

"Who the fuck cares." Rocket said. His words meant to be a question. But he just didn't care for an answer.

"Well, I think the planets around would have something to say about that," Fury said.

You looked over your shoulder, as they continued to bicker, and right at Strange. Who stood silently between the two giant pillars. The look in his eye, telling you everything that you needed to know.

This was always what was meant to happen.

No more sacrifices.

Natasha would be the very last one to ever feel what that would be like.

No more would this place be one of death for the greed of power.

No more.

"It won't."

"And how can you be so sure of that?" Fury asked you.

With the hard look in your eyes when you meet his, he knew what you said to be right.

"It won't."

***

The ship was in the air. Facing the planet, you had grown to despise.

Every one of you looking out of the large window, that sat above the controls. Wade, finally munching on his much-needed food.

Well, with all the whining he made on your long way back to the ship, you sure fucking hoped he needed it, with the about of brain cells he killed.

Silently, Rocket moved to hand the detonator up to you. Ready to shoot the planet with all you had, missiles, C-4, and many other explosives with names that were unknown to you, that Rocket had stored away. Even Tony had hooked FRIDAY up to the detonator, his suit waiting outside the ship, and ready to fire.

Form what you knew of Rocket, you could tell he wasn't the type to just give away something destructive like this. So, you understood that what he was doing, showed that he cared.

With a nod to the raccoon in thanks, you moved to give the remote to Natasha.

"Ya like to do the honours?"

"I'd love too." Her smile saying "thank you" for her, as she took it from your grasp.

She never took her eyes off of you as she pressed the button, the small smile still on her face the whole time. That was until the explosions started. Drawing both of you attentions back to the planet.

The shrine lit up like a Christmas tree, it getting bombarded with blast upon blast.

The storm-looking, gas-clouds, that were once above you, that was seemingly attached to the planet, slowly started to morph into what looked to be a tornado of sorts. It only clearing when the bright orange gem, floated up. Being held only by the swaying ribbons of the cloud. Just ready for the taking.

Then at the speed of light, leaving a white trail behind her, as a shooting star would.

Carol Danvers flew in.

And blasted the fuck out of the fucking stone.

As quick as she came. She was off again. Intending to meet you back home.

Finally.

Finally.

All the destruction just stopped.

The cliff. The shrine. And everything about it. Was destroyed.

But, within a blink of an eye, the portal you once thought was a permanently eclipsed sun, sunk in on its self. And it didn't take a genius to know that that wasn't the best thing to be around.

Not even a second later. A bright light shone around the dark centre, it taking on a light blue hue with how light it was. Before it began spreading throughout the shrinking dark core, bursting suddenly. Rays of light firing off all around.

Your eyes widened when they saw this, your instant reaction to when you saw the bright rays speeding towards the ship, was to pull Natasha into your chest. Raising your arm to block the side of her face from the explosion. Her doing the same by bringing your head closer to hers, covering it with her own arm.

If this was your end.

Then you would go together.

The ship shook vigorously. But, luckily, not enough to make you fall onto the hard floor.

People swore at the collision.

Wade crying, "Ah! My taco!" When the shaking had caused him to drop it.

"Fuck your taco. Luckily I reinforced the ship, that blast could have easily killed us if not," Rocket said, offhandedly.

But that was all background noise to you, and everyone else on the spaceship.

Too busy looking out the window.

"Oh my, God," Natasha breathed, at the sight before her.

"It's beautiful." You finished in the same voice. Unable to tear your eyes away from the sky before you. Along with coloured, smokey, gas-clouds, swimming in the open space.

The "sun" was no longer there. And in its wake. Millions upon millions of stars lit up the sky, dancing to a tune you could not hear, but you felt almost as if they were thanking you.

Looking over at Natasha, you saw the many emotions shining in her eyes. Relief, gratitude, freedom, peace. But most of all, you saw pure love.

Unable to hold yourself back, it's not like you would even try to anyway, you pressed your lips against hers, in a celebratory kiss.

Yeah.

You would never get enough of this.

"There must be so many new galaxies out there," Tony said.

"Well, they were always there," Rocket said in his gruff voice, "We can just see them from here now."

"Not just that," Strange spoke.

"What?" The raccoon asked.

"The soul stone has caused so much destruction and death since it was first created," he began, "Now, with its own destruction. It has given life from what it has taken."

"English, Strange."

The wizard sighed at you. "There are more stars in the sky. Ones unknown and unnamed. New planets. Maybe even galaxies. It's safe to assume there's life to go along with them."

"You mean..."

"Yes." He nodded at the raccoon. "You have many more planets to visit."

"Maybe try not to steal from them," you said, "They were only born two minutes ago."

Everyone laughed as your furry little friend flipped you off.

"For all we know," Strange said.

"You couldn't let me just have one joke, could you?"

"Not at all."

***

"So, Strangey-Boy," you gained the man's attention once you were back on solid ground, stopping him from walking too far away. As Natasha ran over to envelop Carol, Maria, and Pepper in a bone-crushing hug, "Is this the end of the journey?"

He took a deep breath, looking around at the green scenery all around. Looking like a weight was lifted off of his shoulders. But then again. So did everyone. You sure felt like the weight of the world was finally off of yours.

Nodding, he said, "This one. Yes."

Strange held out a hand for you to shake, his cape flowing behind him.

"It was nice working with you, Y/L/N."

"You too," you said with sincerity, as you shook his offered hand. Surprising the greying man by pulling him in for a hug, only for you to whisper in his ear, "Thank you, you cryptic bastard."

You pulled away from the embrace, his laughs causing a chuckle to be brought out of you.

"Y/N?!"

Looking over, you spotted Natasha there, waiting for you. A bright smile on her face. And Tony not too far behind her, arms wrapped around his wife. The slight twitch of her head, indicating her silent ask, for you to follow her.

"Seriously. Thank you. And thank your mysterious friend, too."

With a nod and a smile from Strange. You were off.

Following Natasha wherever she so wished to go.

Walking towards the start of your new life.

***

(Two years later)

The soft thumping of your heartbeat calmed Natasha into a relaxed state. Head on your chest, hand over your heart, and curled into your side. She couldn't think of a better way to spend a day, than with you.

You had been relaxing in bed for most of the day. Only leaving it when one of you needed the bathroom, or to get food and drinks.

"What are you thinking?" you asked, with your eye's blinking heavily as you watched some TV show play.

Natasha hummed, the hand that was laying on your chest, previously stroking her fingertips on your chest, splayed and rubbed the body under it. She blinked open her eyes, spotting the perfect ring upon her finger. The one you had given her over half a year ago. A smile tugging on her lips at the sight.

"I'm thinking about how lucky I am."

"What?" You smiled, looking down at your beautiful fiance. "For this day off?"

"No. For you, you idiot."

"Oh, wow. Is that any way to speak to your fiance? To the love of your life? Your soulmate?"

"Shut up!" Natasha giggled, slapping at your chest. Which only made you grab her hand, running your thumb over the top of her palm, " I love you so much," she continued. Voice warm and full of adoration, "I can't believe I actually get the chance to spend my life with you. It's all I've ever dreamed of, ever since the day I met you."

The smile on your face turned soft as she spoke, delivering a gentle, loving kiss to her lips, you said, "Gross."

"You're a dick."

"I love you, too."

"As you should, I'm pretty fucking great."

A laugh burst from your chest, thankful for the woman in your arms. Excitement resting in your chest. At the thought of getting to spend the rest of your lives together. Even with everything that happened for you to get to this point, you were thankful. And if it meant it. You would do it over and over again, in a heartbeat. Just to get to this point.

The journey hadn't ended, the day you got back from Vormir. It was only the beginning.

You finally had your soulmate back.

And you were never gonna let her go, again.

***

Roses In A Storm Tag List:

(Crossed out means I couldn’t tag)

@uglipotata72829, @enderman359, @thelastavenger-3000, @blackwidowromonoff

Permanent Tag List:

@imnotasuperhero, @veteranwerewolf95, @natasha-danvers, @marvelfansince08love, @higherfurther-romanova, @lesbian-x-blackwidow, @sestra-inestro

[thesims4blogger]

The Sims 4 Paranormal Stuff: Developer Blog (Part 1)

SimGuruConnor has released part 1 of the Sims 4 Paranormal Developer Blog series.

Hello Simmers! Welcome to a small 2-part Dev Blog about our newest Stuff Pack, Paranormal Stuff! This pack has been an absolute blast to work on, and I’m excited to share what this pack is all about!

I’ll try not to reveal too many spoilers for the pack either, so I’ll keep things somewhat brief. Our topics for today are the new Scared Mood and the Haunted House Lot Type, plus an interview with our Audio Artist too!

Get Scared

Sims can now relish in the mortal dread of the Scared Mood! The Scared Mood affects Sims in a variety of ways, with my personal favorite, the new Scream Incoherently interaction, where a Scared Sim runs up to another Sim to scream their lungs out. This can result in the other Sim calming down the Scared Sim, or resulting in both Sims becoming Scared. This can create a Scared Mood wildfire if you’re not careful!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, it's okay!

Sims afflicted with the Scared Mood also have trouble communicating with others, the urge to panic-run everywhere, and are slightly more prone to accidents. If no other Sims are around to help calm down a Scared Sim, they might just have to Hide Under The Covers for a while.

But if being Scared just isn’t your Sims style, consider purchasing the new Brave Trait. This Satisfaction Reward Store Trait will rapidly reduce the incoming fear a Sim feels and help Sims regain their composure faster. While no Sim is totally fearless, this trait should help mitigate some of those creepy feelings.

The Scared Mood and the Brave Reward Trait are all base game features coming with the Paranormal Stuff patch on January 21st. Tons of previous Uncomfortable Buffs are now becoming Scared Buffs, such as the “Startled By Ghost” Buff or the “Thalassophobia” Buff from Island Living.

While being Scared might not be a common occurrence in your everyday Sims life, living in a Haunted House is a whole different story…

Happy Haunts

Introducing the Haunted House Lot Type!

The Duplantier Dwelling, created by Doctor Ashley! This “canon” Haunted House will be available in the gallery!

They’re like regular houses, only haunted! Although unassuming during the day, at night, these places get super weird. Your Sims may notice things like flickering lights, pipes rattling, or even creepy dolls staring at them in the corner. All are totally normal occurrences in a Haunted House, but it may take some time for your Sims to adjust to their new surroundings.

Sims living in a Haunted House will also be introduced to floating apparitions known as Specters. They’re cute little critters, but their motives aren’t entirely clear. You can try talking to them, or even offer them presents in hopes of establishing a good rapport. If they like you, they’ll drop special loot for you and your family. If they don’t like you, well, you’ve been warned.

o o o (> ‘ u ‘ )>

Learning to get along with your new ghostly inhabitants is crucial in a Haunted House. Things like botching seances, neglecting Specters, or letting accursed objects invade your house will have a negative impact on its spiritual serenity. There is a delicate art to co-existing with the entities of the house, and thankfully you’ll have an expert on the matter to assist you!

Meet Guidry

Claude René Duplantier Guidry was a seasoned Paranormal Investigator in his previous life, but now he exists to help anyone brave enough to live in a Haunted House! You’ll probably run into him eventually living in a Haunted House, but don’t worry, he’s a nice ghost!

Guidry will gladly offer his wisdom to those who seek it. If you’re confused, alarmed, or slightly uncomfortable by your new haunted surroundings, give Guidry a holler and he might be able to help. He can also offer valuable objects to help your Sims, too; all you need is to reach out!

Still got it.

All Guidry wants in return is to crash at your place for the time being. Sounds like a fair deal, right? But if you’d prefer to fly it solo, you can always disable his nightly visits—he won’t be too upset, maybe.

As mentioned before, Guidry was a Paranormal Investigator before his untimely demise. If he sees potential in you, he can certify you with a Paranormal Investigation License, granting access to the Paranormal Investigation Freelancer Gigs. Only those who are qualified enough can join the ranks of Paranormal Investigators, but more on that next time!

Be Brave!

Living in a Haunted House adds a layer of risk and reward for your Sims, and each successful night yields Reward Store Satisfaction Points for everyone in the Household. Specters can also drop treasure that can also be collected, consumed, or sold to an Oddity Collector. So although your Sims might go through a bit of peril, they’ll thankfully be compensated.

One of my favorite pieces of haunted treasure is the new Sacred Candle. Not only do they look cool, but they also help protect Sims from paranormal influences. Place them around your house to make sure Sims are properly shielded!

A properly protected Sim.

Things like Sacred Candles and performing ceremonies at the Séance Table are integral to keeping your Sims happy in a Haunted House. Without using these paranormal tools, the entities of the house might get a little bossy.

And while it might be in your Sims’ best interest to keep the spirits of the house in check, watching things go horribly wrong in a Haunted House can be just as fun too. So whatever works for you!

Like Tiny Homes, this Lot Type can be toggled on or off at any time. So whether you’re a casual thrillseeker who wants to spend a couple of nights in a Haunted House, or a seasoned Paranormal Expert who wants to take on a new challenge, this Lot Type should offer something for you!

Crosspack Stuff!

Pets get to share the fun too! They especially love the accursed objects that show up!

I think they’re gonna get along great.

As mentioned before, a ton of old Buffs from multiple packs are now being converted to the Scared Mood. I think 70 something Moodlets were converted? Honestly, I lost count. Anything that seemed more appropriate for the Scared Mood was transferred over.

Oh, and you might remember an old Lot Trait from City Living called Haunted. For clarity’s sake, it needed a name change, so now it’s the Spooky Lot Trait. It also benefits from being combined with the new Haunted House Lot Type and will have an increased chance of spawning Ghosts at night. So use both for maximum haunted-ness!

Audibly Frightened

Last but not least, I’d love to turn it over to our Audio Artist for this pack, Briana Billups! She did a killer job bringing Haunted Houses to life! Trust me!

Conor: Can you tell us what an Audio Artist does on The Sims 4?

Briana: Big, broad picture: an audio artist decides what everything in The Sims 4 sounds like. We record, create, and edit sounds to the art and animation of the game. Little, very detailed picture: creating the actual sounds is usually one of the smaller aspects of our job. We are meeting with other departments, like design, animation, and VFX, to understand the overall vision of new game features and how we can fit in sonically. We are meeting with each other to make sure all our new content still keeps the very fun and quirky vibe of the Sims. We come up with new tools and implementation where necessary.

Conor: What sort of things go into the creative process for creating audio?

Briana: Every audio artist/sound designer has their own creative process, but I like to make a “sonic mood board” of sorts. I typically like to have a good idea of what I want something to sound like in my head before I record or edit it, so it’s nice to have sound effects or music to refer to that represents my original inspiration or ideas. When I was in college, I would make Spotify playlists for whatever I was working on. I would listen to them once a day, adding and editing as necessary, so when I actually got to work, I was in the right headspace. Now I’m usually less formal about this sort of stuff, but for this pack, I would refer back to things like Vincent Price’s demonic laugh from Thriller or Casper the Friendly Ghost Cartoons and the looping soundtrack from the queue of a horror ride at the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk (Ghost Blasters)

Conor: What were you most excited to work on for this pack?

Briana: Definitely all the haunted house sounds! Good sound design is the crux of so many horror movies and video games, so even if we were keeping things more “Casper” and less “Poltergeist,” I still wanted to give a good scare here and there. I actually scared myself one day while playtesting another feature in the game!

Conor: If you had to choose, what is your favorite audio clip you’ve ever added to The Sims 4?

Briana: I would say my favorite SFX were the sports arena loops in EP08: Discover University. When you visit the arena for the soccer/esports match or graduation, you can actually listen to the whole game or ceremony. It was great to craft a whole story from start to finish using just sound. I also snuck in a lot of developer names when writing the scripts for our voice actors.

Thanks, Briana!

More To Come!

That about covers this first foray into the Paranormal Stuff Pack! This pack has been a ton of fun to work on, and watching my Sims flee in terror has been more enjoyable than I’d like to admit.

Next blog, we’ll focus on the Séance Table and developing your Medium skill, as well as the new active freelance career Paranormal Investigator.

Big thanks to the Stuff Pack team for helping this pack come to life, and thank you, Doctor Ashley, for building our featured Haunted House!

Until next time, SimGuruConor

[xcziel]

get to know me

tagged by @vishcount (thank you!!) and i'll follow her format bc making two posts seems a little much - i'm not that interesting!!

(hilariously, this post shows up as blocked for me bc of the tag 'joker' which? tumblr?????)

Part I

name: i'm an internet old, so i never use my real name online, mainly because it's spelled in a very unique way (thanks mom & dad) - i mean like, if you googled it you could find my home address in a few seconds kind of unique - but also, though i do enjoy the spelling, i actually don't like it very much when it's said out loud? (is it weird that my name written down is 'me', but my name aloud has never felt like 'me'?) always wanted a nickname but never acquired one :/

at any rate, i've had the username xcziel forever and i go by that 😊 (pronounced ex-SEE-zee-el, similar to etc. or ex-SET-er-ah! thanks @xia-xueyi for pointing out that it can be confusing to guess!)

rest behind a cut because it got long!

pronouns: she/her

star sign: i don't ... really *do* astrology? but technically saggitarius

height: 5'4" (162.5cm for the intl folks)

time: 5:43pm but these thing take me forever to type out so ... ???

birthday: playing the 'internet old' card again .. but it floats around american Thanksgiving depending on the year

nationality: american

fave bands/groups/solo artists: lumping these together because i just .. don't really do music much anymore. if you had asked me this back in my 20s i'm sure i would have had all kinds of opinions and things to share, but these days i actually mostly prefer to listen music from when i was a kid. part of it is also that as an old, i prefer to buy my music, even digitally, and i don't really use spotify - which does so much to enable diverse music exploration i admit! but i mostly have earplugs in all the time and music does not work for me as background noise, so...

so i guess my answer would be 70s disco and classic rock and 80s new wave artists? i've never liked any artist's entire discography and prefer greatest hits-type compilations, but i guess duran duran and def leppard and depeche mode would be considered formative? i love new order but specifically late 80s new order, NOT joy division. the only concert t-shirt i've ever worn was the cult? i loved sonic temple but i can't listen to most of it anymore though i still adore love removal machine. i think maybe if you get old enough, for some of us there's TOO MUCH good music and we can't pare it down anymore

song stuck in your head: jamiroquai's canned heat

last movie you watched: re: the above, i re-watched center stage, the 2000 one with zoe saldana and the mandy moore soundtrack, bc it's a happy comfort movie and i just got a digital version

last show you binged: i can't really "binge" very often bc after a couple of hours i need a break, so i guess i'd say the tgcf donghua on netflix since it was short enough to get through all in one go

when you created your blog: in 2012 i stopped lurking so i could post about the avengers movie

the last thing you googled: 5'4" in cm? lol before that it was chinese wrapped street food

other blogs: everything is here! i discovered i compartmentalize about as well as i tag reliably (😓) but i do have several automated ao3feed-tag style sideblogs. and i did, very briefly, have a *winces* hockey sideblog too

why i chose my url: ooh i know i've done this before, sorry if it's repetitive, basically it was the username i picked back when my family first got aol: short, unique combo of letters - 14-year-old me really thought about it! and then it wouldn't let me use anything other than my name. thirty-some-odd years later, trying to come up with a livejournal username that wasn't already taken and getting fed up, i plugged it in and went: good enough!

how many people are you following: like 760-something last i checked? although many, many, many of them are deactivated

how many followers do you have: idk i don't like looking at that stuff, but way fewer than i am following

average hours of sleep: it varies too much day by day, my sleep schedule is too wonky, i have no idea what the average would be

lucky numbers: 7? cliché i know, and again not really buying into it, but somewhere in my hindbrain i like it that my first, middle, and last names all have seven letters

instruments: none. i like singing

what i'm currently wearing: giant black t-shirt and baggy black drawstring shorts, standard sitting around the house gear

dream job: don't have one. if i did it would give me something to be working towards *sigh* this is how you end up in retail for decades, kids! but also, to quote a random post i saw in true tumblr fashion "i simply do not dream of labor"

dream trip: covered this one before but: back to the uk and some railway daytrips, or a really fancy northern cruise, atlantic/pacific either one

fave food: uhhh, don't really have a favorite but i'm almost always in the mood for pizza

top three fictional universe you'd like to live in: none really, if i had to still be me..maybe some kind of actually utopian future? but the pandemic has confirmed for me that i do NOT like living in interesting times, so most fictional story universes are RIGHT out. my favorites to read about like discworld or diana wynne jones' worlds would be way to chaotic for my comfort. possibly diane duane's young wizards universe would be safe enough to be okay?

Part II

last song: watching center stage made me think of my dance playlist so sunrise by simply red

last movielast stream: i don't watch streams or youtube often, so it was the same as you, vish! liu chang's birthday stream was SO enjoyable i screenrecorded the entire thing just so i could play it back (and maybe gif sometime if i ever get the drive to actually do it)

currently reading: well i just finished the translated quan qiu gao kao or global university entrance exam novel, which was sparked purely from catching a single rec post here on tumblr and basically just *falling* into this 166 chapter epic that is *amazing* and not coming up for air until i got to the end, which is typical novel-reading behavior for me (yes i was the kid who read through lunch period and got hassled by people who kept pestering me with "what're you reading" questions and yes i realize probably a lot of you on tumblr were too) plus, the new murderbot novel is out tomorrow!!!!! so that'll be where i end up next!

currently watching: the entire dmbj verse (that i can get my hands on) but ... sporadically and stopping at random different parts because the thing is ... this type of show is not really the kind i enjoy so much? so since it's more for "research" and learning character arcs (and let's be honest: shots of liu sang), etc. it's easy to get distracted by other stuff. i'm also watching the sleuth of the ming dynasty, mr queen, bromance, the expanse, re-watching farscape and stargate sg-1, just finished the falcon and the winter soldier, and then anytime something new and short gets introduced it jumps the queue. there are just. so. many. things. to. watch! (now i have to look into anti-fraud league too!? you all are cruel ...)

what is antipoetry to you: i ... don't really think much about poetry? i know what i prefer is usually the more basic rhymed kind like lewis carroll, emily dickinson, poe, coleridge, etc. so i suppose i don't have much use for classifying non-rhyming verse? i can appreciate stuff like rupi kaur which i guess would qualify? or that william carlos williams plums poem? but it doesn't really stick with me the way lyric-like verse does

currently craving: i never know what exactly this is meant to be in reference to ... hmmm, i would love a new high-concept, high production-quality movie like say, pacific rim, to be released, just for that massive, excited energy that comes with something new that hasn't already got tons of disappointing or conflicting history behind it - that would be so fun!!

other than that, right now, i mostly kinda want some fried fish? but that will have to wait until i go to get my second vaccine shot on wednesday since it's on the way there. i'd also like my internal body parts to settle down and fly right but it's been more than a month and they don't seem inclined :(((( maybe once i'm fully vaxxed i'll think about consulting somebody about it

tagging @foxofninetales @xia-xueyi @momosandlemonsoda @memorydragon @thewindsofsong @elvencantation @mylastbraincql @hesayshesgotboyfriend @aurawolfgirl2000 @smaragdine-galaxy and anyone who wants to! but never feel obligated and if you don't get around to it for like half a year that's totally fine, i am still interested!!!

[henryspearl]

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.” from the prompt list 💘

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it”

They had been friends for as long as either of them could remember. They had met on the first day of university, Callum felt like an outcast, wanting to escape his life at home back in London; away from his family, away from the people where he could not see his worth. He never felt that he was enough. Until he met Jay and Lola, and most of all Ben Mitchell. From that moment, they were all inseparable, the best of friends. Callum had finally found his worth and where he belonged. After all this time, he finally found and knew the meaning of home.

They cried at graduation at the thought of parting. It was lucky for Ben, Jay and Lola that they lived in pretty much the same area. Jay and Ben had pretty much grown up together in this small part of London called Walford. They were all connected in some way as Lola was the granddaughter of a family cousin. Except for Callum and a pang stabbed at his heart at the very thought. But they never made him feel like that. To them, Callum would always be family and they would always be Callum.

Even though Callum had loved Jay and Lola to pieces and it broke his heart to be separated from them, it wasn’t actually them that made his heart feel like it was going to physically drop and the insides of his stomach start to twist at the thought of being lonely again. It was Ben. Throughout those three incredible years at university, Ben had been his savour. But at the same time, Ben broke his heart.

He broke his heart whenever there was a party at halls or a house party somewhere near the university. He broke his heart when Callum spotted him making out with some random guy in a dark corner, where colourful lights bounced off of their bodies, dancing with their colliding lips. Callum would only draw his eyes away when Lola or Jay shoved a drink in his hands. They noticed the sympathetic look shining in their eyes followed by a reassuring smile.

But what Callum did not know is when Callum started to have fun at parties himself and make out with the odd bloke (it was not at every party) and went home with him, Ben started to feel his heart shatter piece by piece. It was even worse when Callum took the guy back to their shared house and could hear the husky laughs and the squeaking of the bed springs from Callum’s bedroom. He was happy for Callum, he really was because even though they lived in the same house, his world was warm and fluffy whereas his world was cold and dark. But that did not stop his heart from breaking and having to stop himself from reaching out, wanting to be selfish and put his whole heart on his sleeve.

Eventually, it got to the stage where they would catch each other’s yearning looks from across the room but they would deny that to anyone and to each other if it was ever brought up. They were just friends, best friends, and that’s all that they could ever be. It’s all they would ever be.

When university ended, they still saw each other. They made sure to meet up at least once a month or every two weeks if they could, whether it was in Walford or where Callum lived in Shoreditch.

Ben could not express how happy he felt when Callum came down for a visit one month. Jay and Lola already had their own plans that weekend so it left Ben and Callum to get up to whatever they wanted to do.

Ben took him to his mum’s gay bar the Prince Albert. It was just the two of them and they had so much fun. They did not care about any other bloke who tried to divert their attention, because tonight was about them. Just two best friends on a night out that was filled with laughing, drinking and dancing together. Their breaths freezed over for a second when their bodies connected like a magnet on the dancefloor a few times, feeling each other’s hot breaths on each other’s faces as they sang. It felt so intimate and they were not even kissing, but it just felt so right.

Their hearts were bursting, multiplying with stars, electric sparked through their veins and it made them feel alive.

It was such a beautiful feeling, something magical. But they both knew in their hearts that it was something much more.

But what made Callum’s chest explode with fireworks is when Ben lightly grazed his lips against his. It was only a small peck but it took his breath away and sent his heart racing. He could feel it thumping through every cell in his body. When Callum looked back at Ben, he noticed how he looked in a daze like he couldn’t quite believe what just happened either, his long beautiful eyelashes fluttering slightly, like a bird lightly fluttering its feathers for attention. Ben certainly had Callum’s full attention.

Ben let out a breath that he hadn’t realised he had been holding in, “Shall we...erm...go have a drink on the balcony or something?”

And that’s what they did. Ben took Callum’s hand and they bustled their way through the loud sticky bodies that were still bopping on the dancefloor. It was the same at the bar but being the owner’s son, Ben managed to get them a couple of beers fairly quickly as he jumped his way through the queue, like he was some prince.

The balcony was fairly quiet. It was mainly just the two of them leaning against the bannister, admiring the stunning view as you could overlook the whole of Walford and could see the whole life and soul of the neighbourhood that had so many pages, so much history. It was breathtaking.

Callum nervously sneaked a glance at Ben, nerves floating around in his stomach. Ben was looking ahead, composing himself with small shallow breaths escaping his lips in white cold wisps of air.

This was it, this was the moment.

“So,” Callum breathes. “This is nice isn’t it. Just two friends having fun.” He chuckles nervously, subconsciously kicking himself for his opening sentence. They weren’t just friends. Heck, he wanted them to be more, so much more.

Ben carefully turned his head and faced Callum. His eyes were filled with something different, something dark, like a predator searching for his prey.

Ben studied his face for a moment. Ben could see right through him, and the more he had looked over the years, the more layers of Callum that he managed to peel away. He turns his body so he is facing Callum. Callum’s breath hitches as he feels Ben’s hand come up to his chest, caressing it gently. Though they had never been this intimate before, it felt so familiar.

“We’re not just friends,” Ben stated. His eyes connected with Callum’s and it felt like fire. They were burning, years of frustration and yearning finally coming to the brim. They were burning for each other. “And you fucking know it.”

Callum felt his breath hitch once more as Ben collided his lips with Callum’s. This time it was not just a peck, it was filled with fire and passion. All of their feelings over the years were pouring into the kiss, they wanted this, they needed this. It was something blissful, something extraordinary.

There were so many questions, so many hidden feelings that were floating in the sky with the thousands of stars, but for now, they would focus on tonight. They had each other tonight and whatever happened after tonight, at least they had tonight to explore their true feelings, who they really were and what they really felt, even if it was going to be a distant memory. But they both knew, they did not just have tonight, as this was it from them now, this was the start of something new, something beautiful, something that was almost made from magic.

[wellfine]

Hey so I rambled for like a million words on Sanji’s and Zoro’s and a little bit of Luffy’s characterisation re: living for the sake of other people vs. yourself inspired by @eastdemons recent very good character analysis so I tucked it behind a read-more to spare you all

(WCI spoilers)

realised/remembered that Sanji as a child went seamlessly from being born to exist for the sake of others (his biological family), to wanting desperately to exist for the sake of others but being rejected and treated as though his very existence were a nuisance no matter how hard he tried, to finally finding a sort of unspoken crude acceptance with the Baratie and Zeff which was conditional (in his own mind) on him existing for their sake instead, that he finally had a target to project his rejected desire to be useful onto, to finally have a reason to exist and a tangible benefit he could point to - “if I weren’t here, then the Baratie wouldn’t run as smoothly, cook so nicely, defend itself so strongly”

and sure, tethering himself to that one floating restaurant meant he could never actually go out and achieve his own dreams but he was used to that, he had already accepted from childhood that his life never belonged to him, that he existed for the sake of others and self-sacrifice was naturally a part of that to the point he didn’t even consider it “sacrifice” any more but rather just the natural order of his birth. Like how you know to queue at the supermarket because that’s what your parents taught you. I don’t know if he ever even would’ve registered on a conscious level that that’s how he thought of himself? You could argue that a lot of the Straw Hats (maybe even all of them, in their own way) believe that sacrificing yourself is "natural” to do when your convictions are on the line, like Luffy’s acceptance of his fate at Loguetown, but Sanji’s is different. The Straw Hats might say, “it’s only natural to risk yourself for what you believe in,” but Sanji believes “it’s only natural that I would sacrifice myself for others.” The others all may have a sort of “put your money where your mouth is” attitude towards self-preservation (even Usopp and Nami), but moreso than any others I think Sanji says “no, the rest of you, sit down. None of you get to sacrifice yourselves, that’s foolish. Only I may die for the drama of it all”

So even at age 19 it’s not until Sanji meets the Straw Hats that he even considers the choice of living his life for himself, based on what he wants, and not what others want or need from him. Like obviously he cared about Zeff and the Baratie and he did genuinely want to see it succeed, but it wasn’t his life’s goal. He was trying to make it his life’s goal but you could see the look on his face when he talked about All Blue and traveling for his own sake. And then a bunch of smelly weird pirates crash into their restaurant and confront him with the idea that “hey, you know, your life belongs to you, and you actually have, you know, CHOICES you can make, and it’s okay for you to prioritise your own goals and live your life the way YOU want to”

You could argue that this is a recurring theme with all the Straw Hats - “personal freedom” is probably one of, if not the most prominent theme in One Piece - where most of the crew has felt like they’ve been held back from living the life they want to lead before joining the Straw Hats. Some were held back by external influences (Nami with the Arlong Pirates and Marines, Robin with the Marines again, Brook by Hogback), some by personal obstacles (Usopp’s struggles with his own cowardice, and fear of leaving the comfort of his seemingly safe village for the risk but allure of the sea). There were other members who were held back by a sense of social obligation, too - Chopper to Dr. Kureha and his memories of Hiluluk, Franky to Galley-La in general, the Franky Family, and his memories of Puffing Tom - but those were also slightly different. Chopper, who was still just a kid, all things considered, needed “permission” from his parental figure to leave home, and Franky, conversely, needed to be sure that his adoptive family-figures would be fine on their own. Sanji and Zeff obviously have a father-son relationship but Sanji didn’t need Zeff’s specific permission or approval, nor did he need reassurance that the Baratie would be okay without him - because he already KNEW he had both those things. Zeff is implied to have been trying to get Sanji to leave for a long time. What Sanji really needed was someone to tell him that he would be okay. That he could exist outside of the construct by which he defined his existence (his usefulness to Zeff and the Baratie). That this was a thing he was allowed to do. That God wouldn’t smite him where he stood if he dared to get out of bed in the morning for his own sake, and not someone else’s. And that came from meeting the Straw Hats - all of them, but Zoro a little bit more, and Luffy most of all.

Of course he still struggles with that even after joining the Straw Hats LMAO and the poor dude has a self-sacrificial streak longer than his legs. But now I’m gonna pivot into talking about how Zoro and Sanji contrast against each other in this exact regard

Of all the Straw Hats, Zoro (and I’m still not 100% up to date with the current Wano happenings so maybe we have more insight into why Zoro is the way he is but I still don’t think it could totally disrupt anything I’m about to say) is the person who is least able to identify with where Sanji is coming from but also somehow, the most?? Because Zoro is a paradox of both living fully and wholly for himself in the moment but also being someone who has dedicated his entire life to living out someone else’s dream. Like, yeah, it’s his dream, too, but it’s been made clear throughout the series that the force behind his terrifying drive is his oath to Kuina, not just his own desire to be the strongest swordsman.

But I’m not sure Zoro sees a distinction there? And I’m not sure it’s even relevant to make the distinction in the first place? Kuina has passed away, so Zoro’s own interpretation of what her dream would’ve been, how to fulfil it, and what their promise to each other means is, essentially, his own free will. Often times in fiction when you see a character living in another character’s memory they basically model themselves around what they think the other person would’ve done, but not Zoro. He doesn’t model his fighting style after Kuina’s (quite the opposite). He doesn’t train how he thinks she would’ve trained. He even went ahead and defined the parameters of their “dream” all on his own - defeating Mihawk (is that how Kuina would’ve defined “becoming the strongest swords[wo]man”?). He is, undeniably, living life however it naturally occurs to him and pursuing whatever he wants to pursue.

But Kuina is still also undeniably a fixture in his life. He still wields her sword (fingers crossed for Wano). He still thinks of her and is still driven by the bond and oath they shared when they were younger, and he still considers her father to be his mentor. He would say that he wants to become the strongest swordsman because it is his dream and also because he’s doing it for Kuina, and they would both be independently true.

And so all of this culminates into Zoro not understanding Sanji’s perspective one tiny little bit, lmao. You’d think he would because on the surface they both live for another person’s sake but when you get deeper into it they’re opposites, as is usually the way with those two. Sanji is someone who presents himself as a “lone wolf”, sort of - the strong, cool, independent “Mr. Prince” who is often separated from the other characters, working on his own. But he’s not. He defines his entire existence by his utility to others and the capacity for his sacrifice to them. That’s why he keeps TRYING to sacrifice himself for others even when it’s pretty unnecessary lmao. And Zoro is someone who readily claims to be living his life for the sake of another person, but then doesn’t give a second thought to how that person might have lived their life. He can live his own life while also living FOR someone else. That’s not a contradiction at all in his mind. Zoro has made it no secret that he would leave the Straw Hats if he had to in order to pursue his own dreams and I genuinely still think he would, as loyal as he is to Luffy (which, btw, Luffy would unequivocably support).

And so it’s why Sanji can’t understand why Zoro would fight against Mihawk knowing that he would lose, because in that moment Zoro was living blisteringly for his own sake and nothing else, because throwing yourself into a fight you KNOW you will lose simply because it’s what you WANT is the culmination of “living your own life”. To Sanji, that makes no sense, because Zoro could still live and be useful to others. Sanji completely understands dying to protect others and so thinks dying because of your own resolutions would be a “waste”. And it’s why Sanji left so easily in WCI, and why Zoro couldn’t/can’t understand that, because to Sanji it made sense in what he still believed to be true in his mind - that he ultimately only existed to be useful to others, and that his brief sojourn with the Straw Hats had been fun, but that leaving them would be inevitable, because it was too “selfish” on his part to dare to live life for himself and that the universe would correct itself eventually. He still thought that it was wrong of him to live his own life. He still, on some level, thought that his life belonged to someone else. And at least, like this, he could save the people he actually cared about (the Straw Hats) along the way, making the best of a foregone conclusion, in his mind. I genuinely think even after everything the SHs went through together it wasn’t until he saw Luffy still waiting for him that it finally clicked in Sanji’s mind that he was the sole owner of his own life and that he had a choice in what he dedicated it to.

Speaking of Luffy, I think he 100% lives his own life for himself only, even more than Zoro - he sacrifices himself for others, but only because he wants to because he personally likes those people, not because he thinks it’s the “right” thing to do - but I also think he deeply understands and appreciates Sanji’s mentality in a way that Zoro doesn’t/can’t. I think Luffy learned from Shanks that the way you act/the things you do have a broader impact on the world around you, and so living life “for yourself” is something you have to do mindfully and consciously of how that will affect other people. And I think he learned about the idea of being expected to live for the purpose of others from Sabo and Ace, and the subsequent rejection of that idea. So he fully embraces the notion of living your life for yourself only, but he does so being aware of the implications that has for the other people in your life.

I don’t know if this makes any sense or if it’s still coherent at this point I have written (checks) almost 2000 words about one piece and I’m a litte embarrassed but you know what I'm just gonna hit ‘publish’ without proof reading thanks for coming to my TED Talk i’m sorry if any of these paragraphs just stopped mid-sentence as I hopped to finish off some other sentence

[chaletnz]

Tokyo: A Day in Daiba

My morning began with a walk around the temples and gates of Yokohama’s Chinatown follow a delicious breakfast in the café attached to my hostel. The receptionist doubled as a barista and chef who lovingly prepared a latte and some French toast for me as we chatted. I was worried about the state of the coffee when I heard the milk screeching as he steamed it but actually it turned out fine! During my time working in hotels and having access to free stays on most trips I had forgotten how much better the vibe is when staying in a hostel – I definitely prefer it, the conversations are far deeper and you can meet some very interesting people. Generally, the staff in hostels can speak English better than the staff in hotels, probably because they also like to travel and have learned the “universal language”. After breakfast I made my way to Tokyo’s small island area of Daiba to meet my ex-colleague Sayane who would accompany me for the day. It was only 10am but sweltering already. Luckily I had arrived about 30 minutes earlier than necessary so I was able to store my heavy bag in a locker and sit down in a shady spot to wait for Sayane to arrive from her journey from Karuizawa. She arrived with our tickets to teamLAB Borderless which is a “light museum” I suppose... it’s a large space with no guidebook or map, you simply wander around the space to experience the light displays. We were almost the first in the queue so were instructed to scan our tickets, check away our bags and watch a quick video before we entered through the black curtains. Inside there were darkened hallways leading to rooms with different displays and unique atmospheres in each one. The art changes throughout the day so you can visit the same room or space a few times and it will be different. Characters like bunnies and tigers are projected onto the walls, flowers and leaves float around on the floor, some rooms had hanging lamps and strips of LED lights that changed colour with the music. One room had interactive figures that danced or made noise as it detected your presence nearby and another was a circular room with waves on the cyclorama and some couches in the middle to sit on. It is hard to describe the experience in detail, but the photos certainly came out nice! At ¥3200 per ticket it definitely wasn’t cheap but I guess their electricity bill is quite high... After about an hour and a half we felt that we had seen it all, including visits to the same place a few times to see how the art had changed, and decided to have lunch at a very convenient Wendy’s located directly opposite. The bacon cheeseburger was a welcome treat of fast food and for whatever strange reason, this Wendy’s was having a promotion of Dutch poffertjes so of course I had to try them! They were buttery, delicious, and dare I say authentic? Although the powdered sugar was lacking I think any Dutch expat would be satisfied. Next we visited the Venus Fort mall to check out the architecture, the entire mall was very well done – the roof was closed and designed to look like a sunny sky, the shops all had facades similar to a European town, and there were tiles, a fountain, church, and streetlamps to make it feel like you’re really walking in an old village somewhere across the world. Sayane and I sat down for a Starbucks coffee and a chat somewhere among this grand plaza and decided what our afternoon would involve. Not wanting to spend too much money we settled on walking to a nearby observatory but discovered it was closed due to the lockdown when we arrived. Instead we took the train to the Liberty Flame and a viewpoint for the Rainbow Bridge which was very impressive with the Olympic rings in the bay nearby. There was another mall with a huge Gundam statue outside (I think it’s something from an anime...) so we took some photos and watched all the cosplayers trying to get the best poses with it. It was still so hot so we wanted air conditioning and decided to have a look in this mall too. This one was a bit more within our budget so we both got carried away in the shops and I ended buying a few more T-shirts from Hollister that I didn’t need – but they were on sale! After our shopping escapades we finished up with the luxurious Cremia ice cream, they were unfortunately sold out of caramel but we had a chocolate vanilla swirl each. It started dripping through the cone immediately so I was forced to devour it before it melted. Outside it was now the perfect temperature so we finished our ice creams there and then cleaned up our sticky faces and hands with a wet wipe that Sayane conveniently had. We walked back to the train station together, via a hydrangea path, and then went our separate ways. I had to walk a bit further up to my train station so I took a sunset walk around and got a few more photos before riding back to Shimbashi Station to check into my hotel. As I walked there I passed the Park Hotel Tokyo and had to do a double take as a realised I would be staying just down the road from where I had stayed in 2015 with Bryce! Of course I had to take a photo and send it to him for old time’s sake. I was assigned a room on the 11th floor which had a great view over Tokyo. After ditching my heavy bag again I headed back out to check my route in preparation for tomorrow and found a bakery with discounts on everything and picked up some pastries for breakfast and some pizza for tonight to heat up in my microwave.

[starsailorstories]

7 Orbits

[A little ancillary piece of writing, too short for a monthly story, that lived for a while at the beginning of the doc that became “A Proper Home,” foreshadowing Bolt’s role in the Bell Town leadership and asking questions about where she draws her lines in the sand.]

[I should say, this is like a lot of the examination of Bolt’s backstory like...metaphorical exploration of closeted-lesbian trauma and of abuse/predatory relationships, it’s all just being reflected on from the future and there’s nothing of it actually seen but please be aware]

She was a regular of the peripheral parties of the court, and she was a procurer of beautiful things.

Every quick circuit of the star system, she acquired million-stitch tapestries on translucent Aing-De silk and Olaen Dynasty conlegaea services, and then she slipped their rates of trade into exactly the right hands. As a commoner she owned nothing that hadn’t been given to her, but as a tenant in good standing of a delicate little form with naturally indigo eyelashes, she always got everything she wanted. 

Bolt always thought she and Grandina were a little alike in that way.

On the way in to reply to Dialtone’s invitation, the Anthesphoria had stopped off in the harbor-orbits of the thirty-ninth ring. Once a day they floated over the custom-built house and its stylish garden, too small to see among the packed-in teeth of the platforms but clear as a blueprint in her mind. It was during one of these slow passes that she admitted she’d grown up there, completely alone. She supposed the new girl also chose to ignore that she was a child. She was too busy being a beautiful thing in the collection.

The thought hit and sank in, like plastic in the molds of the factory where she went next. The next pass after that one, she found herself thinking of her again. She was less bothered than she thought she was before by the idea that she, too, felt a mystic’s awe when her lady touched her cheek to turn her face away, to some painting or carved bit of furniture. She hoped the buttons in the small of her back would be good to her. She hoped she didn’t dread too much yet the day when Grandina would determine, perhaps on the advice of her appraisers for all she knew, that there was nothing special to see behind those veils.

By that time she had stopped imagining the new girl even more unlovable than she could sometimes be, had stopped wishing she would last only a turn or two. The turning point, she remembered, had been on a long hot day when an order from the aula had come at the factory, and she had found there were things she didn’t have the heart to wish on anyone else, not for no reason. Not for simply being hypothetically loved.

But how contradictory that had been, she realized, now that she was well-rested enough to think clearly. It was only because Grandina loved her that she had been there, instead of in the queue to give herself for her sisters.

Her body still knew that house--echoing and empty, or filled with brightly colored party guests. It was designed to make someone like her look small.

She had never asked herself before, if Grandina deserved her centuries of effort. The effort came out of love, and love wasn’t something, she thought, that people deserved or didn’t. It was like asking if someone deserved air, although a numb heavy realization hit her that someone somewhere down there must be asking exactly that, and about her. About all of them.

She tried to imagine what had gone through her mind, Grandina’s, that she could know that--as she so clearly knew it, or she wouldn’t have asked to have her reassigned--and still play with the fire of her uniform neckline, knowing Bolt was in no place--emotionally or logistically--to pull away. She tried to imagine, and for half an instant she thought, kill her, darling. You can use the ivory letter opener with the filigree handle. Do it for us.

As soon as the thought was over she was terrified by it. She didn’t wish that on anyone either, not really, not least on someone she once loved so much. Self-defense was one thing; mere revenge was quite another. She believed in the possibility of change, in people, in the universe--otherwise she wouldn’t be here.

At the same time she knew she had found it, the one thing she couldn’t let go. The opposite of love. Not anger or hatred, but carelessness. 

[everythingkpopuniverse]

A.C.E Song Spotlight #5: A.C.E TAKE ME HIGHER - RELAY DANCE

RELAY DANCE || 185,433 views ( as seen on August 20, 2018 ) - OFFICIAL A.C.E YOUTUBE CHANNEL

Disclaimer: Gifs and editing are mine. Please do not remove.

[madman-of-amargosa]

About Me/My Blog Meme

Tagged by @ir0n-angel

Tagging anyone who wants to do the thing. (It was fun to take a trip down memory lane)

Reason for my URL

It seemed like a good idea at the time, lol (and I still like it, so the URL is going to stick around).  It was initially an idea for a AU sims story revolving around the Curious brothers from sims 2.  The boys live in the desert, so I picked Amargosa (I like the sound of it) as the name of the place they lived (It’s a real place in the Mojave). In the story, Vidcund Curious was a crazy mad scientist, and people called him the Madman of Amargosa.  I have since moved on from the sims, but I love the Curious boys so much that I insert them into my games as the player characters.  All three boys are in the fallout universe (with different names). Vidcund (Fletcher Anderson) is the sole survivor of vault 101.  Pascal (Albert Anderson) is a pre-war ghoul who was Courier 6 from FONV and then returned to the Commonwealth where Vidcund/Fletcher finds him.  Lazlo (Eddie Anderson) is a vault dweller form FO76.  The boys have been in other games like Fable, Skyrim and DA:I. It’s silly, I know, but it makes me happy.

Side blogs

@madman-yells-at-cloud  is my side for recovery stuff so I can easily find it later.

@curiousstate is a side for a long, rambling, unfinished sims 2 story

How long I’ve been on tumblr

Almost 9 years.

Do I have a queue tag?

Haven’t used my queue in years.

Why did I start this blog?

After the exodus from Livejournal, this started as a sims blog with my username as Pascal_Curious . I started by posting sims stories and gameplay, but then my gaming experience widened and now this blog is just a mess of whatever happens to be currently floating my boat.

Why did I chose my icon?

Because my boy is smokin’ hot in that picture.

Followers, Mutuals

564 followers, only a few mutuals whom I interact with daily and love dearly

How often do I use tumblr each day?

Often throughout the day (My ADD ass needs that dopamine hit).  I scroll through when work is slow, and I also always check tumblr first thing in the morning while i enjoy my coffee.