#fmoam

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[lemonxlimee]

Wgat jf.......... what fif i g.... gave leafgy...... a biwtie............. fmoaming at tge motu..........

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I know I said I'm writing a new bucky fic, which I am, but I'm also writing a Rue POV companion fic.

coming soon!

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so I know I fell off the planet for fmoam... I haven't abandoned it* ...

just more like I've been forgetting to post. more like it's that adhd dread of starting the formatting and the work it takes to actually post it so I don't. I'll try to start posting again real soon.

* though I haven't abandoned the fic, it's still undone. I wrote it in the height of autumn and winter, and when it started the new year, I lost the feeling of Christmas, which is where I stopped writing in the fic. anyways! I'm hoping in the next two months, I'll have some Christmasy inspo and will finish the fic, but! I'll see!

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good heart (faulty machine of a man) - 21/30 (icymi)

chapter summary: Bucky and Rue have a snowy moment (alternatively: Rue defends Bucky)

word count: 2367

tags: post endgame, pre tfatws, hurt/comfort, slow burn, canon divergent, canon compliant, au

warnings: panic attack, mention of weapons

a/n: icymi

They stand in the alley as wind howls through. He’s reminded of the first time they met, in an alley, but it was him in distress. He remembers her patience and her humor. He rubs her arm for comfort, cautious to whether she even wants to be touched right now. As he lets his hand slip from her, her hand catches his and holds it tightly.

AO3 / Masterlist

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good heart (faulty machine of a man) - 22/30

fic summary: bucky meets someone at therapy

chapter summary: rue invites herself over for christmas

word count: 2521

tags: post endgame, pre tfatws, slow burn, canon divergent, canon compliant, au

warnings: none

a/n: a fluffy lil christmasy moment between our favs

AO3 MASTERLIST X

For the next few days, all Bucky can think about is wanting to tell Steve about the kiss.

He hasn’t had a meaningful kiss with someone since the 1940s, and even then, the meaningfulness had been eclipsed by the idea of going to war. He’d been kissing someone out of the sheer possibility that he wouldn’t be kissing anyone ever again. 

(With Rue, that kiss was the start of something, the hope of something, the proof of something.)

He thinks about going to the cemetery, confessing his feelings to those stone walls, but he thinks about how sad it would be, how sad that would make the whole thing. He thinks about texting Sam, but the idea makes his skin itch with remembered anger, how mad he is at him for surrendering the shield. He even thinks he’d go to the gym with the hope of bumping into George… but that is even more pathetic.

(He’s alone, alone, alone.)

But, now, he doesn’t know how he’s gotten… here.

To be fair, he knows, but he didn’t think the day would turn this way.

To take his mind off of the sad reality of his nonexistent friend group, he had gone to the store to find a gift for Rue. He had wanted it to accurately sum up all the buzzing in his chest. He had honestly wandered around the store, hoping for something to shout all his feelings he was allowing back at him, but what could he possibly buy her that would summarize how much these past few months have been for him? A sweater? A book? A stuffed animal?

He was in the jewelry section when an employee sidled up next to him. He glanced over to see… Chris, the employee who had helped him decorate his apartment.

“I’d recognize your mean mug from anywhere,” Chris had said as a form of greeting. Bucky hadn’t known how to take that, so he said nothing. “Looking for something?”

“A gift,” Bucky had finally said.

“A gift,” Chris repeated. Bucky hadn’t liked the knowing lilt to his tone. “Who is this gift for?”

“... a friend.”

“A friend,” Chris echoed, nodding. When Bucky had snuck a look at him, Chris hadn’t been looking at him at all, just into the jewelry case. “Is this a friend from work or…?”

“From…” Bucky had paused, not sure why he was about to confess this. “From therapy.”

“Ooo, congrats on that.” 

(Chris had sounded genuine. It had made Bucky feel proud, a feeling that he was still getting used to.)

“So, is this friend a boy… or a girl… or…”

Bucky rolled his eyes to himself. “A girl.”

“Okay, so like a…” Chris’s words had died in his throat when Bucky looked at him. “Okay, a girl that is a friend, got it. So, do you know what she would want?”

He had rubbed the back of his head, really racking his brain. He finally admitted, “No.”

“That’s okay.” Chris had put a hand on Bucky’s shoulder, and… Bucky let him. “What’s she like?”

(Every time Bucky thinks of Rue, his heart races. In that moment, his mind had flashed to the way she smiles at him when he comes into the waiting room, the way she sometimes smells like a confection and other times like something rich and musky, the way her eyes light up when she’s about to make a bad joke that she knows he’ll roll his eyes to. He thinks about how sometimes, she looks very feminine and dolled up and how other times, she looks sharp and professional.

And then, his mind rewinds back to the kiss. Her bundled in her oversized scarf and puffer jacket. Her rosy features. The snow dusting her hair like a goddamn movie.)

“You are lucky I am not some degenerate who would report this look on your face to the tabloids.”

He was snapped out of his thoughts when Chris had said that. The expression on his face had made Bucky’s face hot.

“Okay, here’s what I’ll do for you,” Chris had announced. “You go grab lunch and come back here in an hour. I’m off of work then, so we’ll go to the mall and get her a real gift.”

“No, you don’t–”

“Mr. Barnes, sir.” Chris had given him a serious look. “It would be an honor.”

So, that’s how he and Chris had gotten on the train together, Chris chatty and more excited than a child on Christmas morning, and arrived at the mall.

(Bucky would admit, to himself, that after the incident with the hubcap, these crowds are… daunting.)

“Are you sure she wouldn’t have liked those earrings?” Chris whines. “They were very reasonable for diamonds.”

“I’ve never seen her wear anything like that,” Bucky muttered, keeping his hands in his pockets, and his presence as low profile as possible.

“That doesn’t mean she doesn’t wear them for special occasions!”

Bucky sighs. He runs a hand over his cap, nearly forgetting that he had to remain anonymous here. “Maybe, we… stop looking.”

“Absolutely not,” Chris declares. He grabs Bucky’s arm and pulls him forward. “We are going to find something for your girl– your friend, if it’s the last thing we do.”

Bucky frowns but allows himself to be dragged on by this very eager stranger, when a store catches his eye. He stops in front of it, making Chris stumble, and traffic redirects around them.

“You like a witchy girl?” Chris says incredulously. “You are so lucky I’m not DMing TMZ right now.”

Bucky ignores him, mostly because he doesn’t fully understand what he just said, and walks into the store. He points to the bird created by different kinds of crystals. “She has that in her room.” He looks around and adds, “She has a lot of these things…” Crystals, tarot cards, incense.

If Chris is thinking about saying anything about him being in her room, he doesn’t say it. Instead, Bucky watches him look around the store thoughtfully. He taps his chin, he nods, he opens his mouth to say something and thinks better of it.

“Okay, Mr. Barnes–”

“Please,” he interrupts, “just call me Bucky.”

(Chris’s eyes light up, and Bucky almost regrets this decision.)

“Okay, Bucky, I need to ask you a question, and it is crucial to this whole trip - but you have to promise…” he looks a little bashful, “not to get mad at me.”

Bucky sees the earnestness in his eyes, and sighs. ��Okay.”

“Does she like you as much as you like her?”

Bucky pauses, trying to keep his features neutral, but he knows what he’s about to say is going to garner a reaction from Chris.

(And he honestly doesn’t know why he’s about to say it, to this virtual stranger, and still, it falls out of his mouth.)

“She kissed me.”

Chris squeals. Bucky anticipated this, and still, the looks that other customers give them is nerve-racking. Chris looks like he’s going to give Bucky a hug, then decides against it, but then holds a hand for Bucky to shake, with an expression of confusion and awkwardness. Bucky, feeling similarly, shakes his hand.

“Get it, Mr. Winter Soldier, sir–”

“I’m no longer–”

“Right, right, Bucky, Bucky, Bucky,” Chris corrects himself, tapping a finger to his forehead. “Sorry, Bucky. Well, congratulations on gettin’ some–” Bucky’s face is hot again “--and the reason I ask is because I have the most perfect gift you can get her.”

////

Rue: would it be weird if I stayed over for the next few days? 1:15 am

Rue: that would be weird, right? 1:17 am

Rue: I’m just really dreading being in the apartment alone, yk? 2:22 am

Rue: ugh forget I said anything 2:43 am

Bucky had totally forgotten to text her back.

Bucky: It wouldn’t be that weird 3:39 pm

(He hopes it’s not too late.)

////

When Bucky opens the door for Rue, he laughs.

(He’d been nervous the whole day, waiting for her arrival. She had texted him, telling him that she had to go home after work, but that had been six hours ago.)

“Babushka,” he manages to say. She had folded the scarf in such a way that it also covered her head.

“Okay, funny guy, I know what that one means,” she mutters, dragging a suitcase with her. “I couldn’t find my hat, so I had to figure it out.”

“I’m sorr–”

“No, no, it’s fine,” she says under her breath. She’s uncharacteristically in a bad mood. She looks around for a minute. “You didn’t put up the decorations I gave you.”

“Well, I wasn’t sure where…”

“You know what, that’s not fair,” she interrupts, gesturing, “the tree looks really nice.”

They both look at the tree he decorated the night she had dropped off the things. He had felt weird decorating it alone, but he’d done it when he couldn’t sleep. Listening to infomercials while scanning the tree for the best place to put an ornament had made the activity oddly satisfying.

“Okay.” She puts on a too bright smile. It’s like the one she had when working at the Waterway Brewery. “Merry Christmas Eve eve, Bucky. Tonight, we will finish the decorations and start the Christmas movie marathon.”

He watches her carefully lower the suitcase and unzip it. She reveals two glass bottles wrapped in newspaper; she hands one to Bucky.

“That’s Vick’s eggnog,” Rue explains, “it has to go in the fridge. And this guy is the red wine that we are going to spice.”

“Do you have this itinerary written out somewhere?” he teases.

(He’s teasing her. Who is he? Somehow, having her in his home, in the presence of the Christmas tree and the smell of his comfort food, he feels like he’s been transported back, before Hydra, before the fall, before the war.)

She follows him into his small kitchen and reaches into her coat pocket as he’s opening the simmering pot. She produces a piece of receipt paper, the kind diners write orders on, and shows him her list. 

“Decorate, mulled wine, bake cookies,” he reads aloud, “gingerbread house, eggnog, Christmas vinyl–”

“You cook.” It’s a surprised statement. She’s peeking around him, looking into the pot he’s left open, steam continuing to billow out. He’s not sure what she’s making of the bright red dish; he made it thicker than the traditional meal because he wasn’t sure how she felt about soup as a meal.

(Honestly, he’s not even sure why he made it, rather than something more American. Maybe he wanted to show her his skills. Maybe he wanted to show her his comfort food. But as she’s observing, he becomes… protective, but he’s unsure why.)

He nods, “I cook. It’s borscht.”

“What is borscht?” she asks, the Russian word clumsy in her mouth.

“It’s a soup, with beets and other vegetables, and beef.” He looks at her. “You eat beef, right?”

“You saw me eat a burger,” is her answer. “I… I have a confession to make.”

(He braces himself, though he already feels his hope sinking.)

“Okay...”

“I’ve never had a beet before.” When he looks at her, her cheeks are pink. “Is that weird?”

“That’s not weird. I think a lot of Americans haven’t eaten beets before.”

“Thanks for not judging me.” She puts a hand on his shoulder and presses her cheek against his arm. She’s warm to the touch. “It looks good, I’m excited to try it.”

“It might take another forty minutes before it’s ready.”

“Perfect, gives us enough time to finish decorating.”

////

Though she said “us”, she really did all the work.

In the new suitcase, Rue had brought two decorative Christmas pillows and a fuzzy red blanket with a white reindeer pattern. She had also brought a few vinyls, saying that she knew he had a record player, though he had just recently inherited Steve’s. She plays a Bing Crosby’s Christmas album that she said she thrifted as she roams around his apartment.

If she notices the new furniture, she doesn’t say anything. She puts all the Christmas figurines she had packed on his new bookshelf, on his new coffee table, and even along the TV stand. She has a fake garland that she drapes along the counter, and she puts red bows on the back of his two dining table chairs. She even has stockings, a red one with a white and silver trim… and a black one, with a gold and red trim.

“Bucky.” He finds her in the living room, looking up at his ceiling. He stands next to her, trying to figure out what she’s looking at. “Where do you keep your step ladder?”

“I don’t have one.”

He feels her eyes on him before he looks at her confusion. “Then, how do you reach your ceiling?”

“I…” He frowns, wondering if this is a joke. “I’ve never needed to?”

“James,” she sighs, rolling her eyes.

(The way she slips into using his first name like a reprimand does something to him that he doesn’t have time to unpack.) 

“Then how am I supposed to reach the ceiling?” She holds up the string of Christmas lights. “I want to– ahhhh!”

Without warning, Bucky lifts Rue by grabbing her waist. 

“James!”

“Ruby,” he says calmly.

“Put me down!”

“But you need to reach–”

“I can stand on a chair–”

“You still wouldn’t–”

“Bucky, please,” she begs, an uncharacteristic whine in her voice. “Just put me down.”

He places her down, but his hands remain on her waist. She avoids his gaze, seemingly catching her breath. Her face is as red as the borscht.

“I can pick up and throw a car, Rue. This,” he gives her waist a squeeze, “is nothing.”

“Okay, Mister Super Soldier Man, I get it, you’ve got the biggest muscles in all of the land,” he notices she hyperbolizes when she’s nervous or self-conscious, “but you still can’t just… pick me up without permission.”

“Ruby.” Her eyes lift to his, her nostrils flared like she’s bracing herself. As much as he’s enjoyed teasing her this evening, he doesn’t want to scare her away. “I don’t have anything that will make you taller to put up the lights. All I can do is lift you, to get you up there.”

Rue thinks for a moment and compromises that she sits on his shoulders. He’s not sure how that’s more comfortable to her, but she puts up the lights quickly. If she didn’t give him directions of when to step to the right, he would believe she wasn’t even breathing.

When the lights are up, he watches her compose herself and finally, inspect the tree. She doesn’t move anything that he’s done; instead, she adds these clear icicle ornaments and fluffs the branches more. He’s in the kitchen as he watches her debate with herself. 

(When she catches him looking at her, they both avert their eyes, and he’s not sure if the heat of his face is embarrassment or steam from the soup.)

“I think,” she has her hands on her hips as she looks around the living room and kitchen, “it is finished.”

“So is the food. Hungry?”

“Starved.”

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good heart (faulty machine of a man) - 20/30 (icymi)

chapter summary: Bucky visits Rue at work (alternatively: Bucky prepares for Rue to join him for Christmas)

word count: 1211

tags: post endgame, pre tfatws, hurt/comfort, slow burn, canon divergent, canon compliant, au

warnings: none

a/n: icymi

Bucky’s on his feet. The bartender notices, follows his gaze, and says, “Stand down. She’s got this,” with a knowing look on his face. (Bucky’s body reacted before his brain connected to his feelings. One thought is danger. Another is protect. Amongst the frenzy of his thoughts and the impossible restraint, a secret option stays in the background: mine.)

AO3 / Masterlist

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since AO3 is down and I am going out of town, I'll be reposting old chapters for the next few days.

unrelated, if you have a bucky blog or you really like one, please recommend them to me!

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good heart (faulty machine of a man) - 19/30 (icymi)

chapter summary: rue calls bucky (alt: nothing platonic happens after 12 am)

word count: 2150

tags: post endgame, pre tfatws, hurt/comfort, slow burn, canon divergent, canon compliant, au

warnings: none

a/n: icymi

He answers the phone with an alarmed, “Hello?” “It’s a video call, friend, get me away from your ear.”

AO3 / Masterlist

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good heart (easy smile) - 2/?

chapter summary: scene from chapter 4 gh: fmoam

word count: 553

tags: post endgame, pre tfatws, hurt/comfort, slow burn, original female character, canon divergent, canon compliant, au

warnings: none

You’re late. You rush past Bucky, who’s giving you a look you’ve only seen a handful of times before, but you gloss over it because why would Bucky be looking at you like that anyway? “Hey, I’ll see you over there, okay?” You don’t wait for his response, though, pushing out the door. Ugh, Greta’s gonna be even more pissed than she usually is.

AO3 / Masterlist

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good heart (easy smile) - 1/?

chapter summary: scene from chapter 1 gh: fmoam

word count: 1141

tags: post endgame, pre tfatws, hurt/comfort, slow burn, original female character, canon divergent, canon compliant, au

warnings: panic attack

“Can’t I just buy you a coffee or something?” You laugh, surprised, and you feel heat crawl up your body at the thought of The Winter Soldier asking you out. But that’s ridiculous - you can tell by the awkward smile he’s donning. You relent, though, writing your coffee order on a sticky notepad you keep in your pocket, and slap it onto his chest. “That’s my order.” You realize you’re flirting before you can stop it. “Do with that as you will.”

AO3 / Masterlist

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good heart (easy smile) - 3/?

chapter summary: scene from chapter 5 gh: fmoam

word count: 424

tags: post endgame, pre tfatws, hurt/comfort, slow burn, original female character, canon divergent, canon compliant, au

warnings: none

The lobby door opens, but Delilah is in the middle of telling you how one of the more eccentric clients comes out of her session in what Delilah calls “tasteful tears”, so you don’t see how just walked in. You giggle, hoping it comes across as schoolgirl and not puppy love, and you listen as she tells you how Tasteful Tears took the whole box of tissues on the way out. Delilah mimics the client, an exaggerated pout and twisted features, and all you can think about is you wish you could kiss her.

AO3 / Masterlist

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this is the new official banner for this fic!!

here is the master list of the current chapters up - with links!

I've been mostly posting on Mondays and Thursdays now, either way, if you want to be tagged, drop a comment on this post! As mentioned before, comments will be tagged on icymi posts, and if you want chapters asap, subscribe on ao3 or ff.net!

good heart (faulty machine of a man) - post schedule

Okay, my plan, for now, is to update every Sunday. This means cross-posting on here, ao3, and ff.net

If you want to be tagged here for updates, that'll be every Wednesday (after a new chapter).

If you want to the chapter asap, subscribe on ao3 or ff.net !

Comment on this post to be tagged on Wednesdays :)

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get ready for a double feature this week...!

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good heart (faulty machine of a man) - masterpost

PINTEREST / AO3

(pinterest not yet launched)

CHAPTERS | 17/30 in progress

September 2 - (AO3)

September 9 - (AO3)

September 16 - (AO3)

September 23 - (AO3)

September 30 - (AO3)

October 7 - (AO3)

October 14 - (AO3)

October 21 - (AO3)

October 28 - (AO3)

November 4 - (AO3)

Texting Interlude - (AO3)

November 11 (Part 1) - (AO3)

November 11 (Part 2) - (AO3)

November 18 - (AO3)

November 24 (Part 1) - (AO3)

November 24 (Part 2) - (AO3)

December 2 - (AO3)

December 9 (Part 1) - (AO3)

December 9 (Part 2) - (AO3)

December 16 (Part 1) - (AO3)

December 16 (Part 2) - (AO3)

fic summary: bucky meets someone at therapy gen tags: post endgame, pre tfatws, hurt/comfort, slow burn, mutual pining, friends to lovers, canon divergent, canon compliant, au gen gen warnings: pstd, panic attacks, character death, angst

FMOAM TAGS

fmoam gen

fmoam: bucky / bucky barnes

fmoam: rue / ruby david

fmoam: other character

[lightning-writes]

good heart (faulty machine of a man) - post schedule

Okay, my plan, for now, is to update every Sunday. This means cross-posting on here, ao3, and ff.net

If you want to be tagged here for updates, that'll be every Wednesday (after a new chapter).

If you want to the chapter asap, subscribe on ao3 or ff.net !

Comment on this post to be tagged on Wednesdays :)