#for anyone wondering for any of those try to google it i can't say go find a claw machine cus that's where i got mine

[daily-table21]

Video: How States Act: Fidget Toys

Status: Public

Link: How States Act: Fidget Toys - YouTube

Date Posted: April 4th 2022

[the-forbidden-pookie]

Unknown motives

Tw: SFW, written with a fem reader in mind, attempt at comedy, fluff with a dash of something else, slight use of profanity, reader is short for plot reasons.

Pairing: Anton Ivanov x reader

#Free Palestine🇵🇸

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"Sorry," the large man says as he approaches you "I got held up by this strange guy asking if I wanted to play cards or something on my way here... Hm? You haven't started interviewing our president yet, have you? Don't forget to lower the mic stand a bit."

You blink up at him in surprise, and suppress an eye roll. You can't help it, everything about him was giving... the same vibe you see in the old capital era movies, the frat boy types. Still, you respond cordially enough "Huh? Oh you mean the reporter lady from earlier? No she left already, I'm the new part timer." You say confidently, deciding you'll end this conversation quickly if you looked sufficiently assertive. The work site was plenty noisy too, surely he'll get annoyed from talking out here soon enough.

The man's hand was on its way to the back of his head, his eyes trained away from you before he halts and looks back "A new part timer? Who the hell hired you?"

"I hired myself." You say simply.

"Ha, you hired yourself? Really now? And who made you think you were qualified enough to work here?"

You don't bother giving your real reasons "The field of construction calls for me." Is what you say instead.

"Calls for you, huh?" To your surprise , the man takes your words seriously, and you notice a name tag that introduces him as Senior Staff and On Site Project Manager Anton Ivanov. Wow, what a mouthful, no wonder he seems to know who exactly does and doesn't work here.

"You look like a runt... Can you handle the job? Do you even know how to tell apart a Gauging trowel from a Margin trowel?"

You blink owlishly back at him, startled out of your thoughts "A what now?"

"Exactly my point! How about I test you, then? First, go get me a torque wrench."

"Ahaha" you laugh awkwardly "Uh yup! I totally know what that is!" Why is there no connection in this place? I need to Google this! You panic internally.

"Oh really? Well then go get one. It's right by the tool box in the west warehouse." He points at said building "I'll be waiting here."

You quickly turn away before he sees your expression descend into panic "Mhm, be right back boss man!"

"Hah, what's with that look?... Wait... Hey! Come back here!"

You ignore him and use your small frame to your advantage and easily weave through construction workers left and right, most of them admittedly much bigger than you. Still, you disappear into the crowd and easily loose anyone trying to stop you. Once you make it to the warehouse, you go ask someone on duty about the tool, and find a bear gentleman squinting at a clipboard.

"Excuse me sir." You interrupt politely "The project manager sent me to grab a tool for him, can you tell me where-" you pause. What did he call it again? You stare at the fellow in front of you as he stares back. Once it became apparent you weren't going to finish the sentence any time soon, he points at a collection of crates in one section of the warehouse

"I'm busy so help yourself kid." He says, then leaves before you can correct him about you not being a kid.

Welp.

You go look though the crates, hoping any of them would be marked or named, and while some of them are, most of those are in Russian.

You don't speak Russian.

You sigh, and decide nothing will get done if you keep standing here, so you grab a random heavy tool, and lug it back to Anton, who surprisingly did wait for you where he said he would.

"I'm back! Did you miss me?" You pant from the exertion, trying to hide the toll this is taking on you with jest "Is- is this it?"

Anton looks dumbfounded for a moment before speaking "...That's a welder's mask, kid. The kind bear Thirens use."

You look down "So that's what the glass part is for... Hey I'm not a kid! You're just way too tall!"

Anton smirks, amused with your response "You're not a kid, huh? Then how old are you, shorty?"

You look away. "Hmph. You should never ask a lady about her age! It's improper!" You dodge the question. You may be an adult, but there's a non zero chance that once you show him your ID he thinks you're presenting him with a fake one and kick you out immediately. You'd rather not give him the chance. "So how do I go about properly signing up to join Belobog Heavy Industries anyway?"

Anton chuckles, seemingly getting a kick out of this "Ha! It's funny that a shorty like you can call herself a lady. You're barely at half my height. Anyways, if you wanna work here, I'll have to assess your experience and qualifications first."

You are certainly not looking forward to that.

"... Isn't there someone else that can do that...? Maybe someone I don't have to crane my neck all the way up just to look at their face?" You sweat drop.

Anton laughs, thoroughly enjoying this situation "Nope, not a chance. You're stuck with me, shorty. Now, quit complaining and tell me what you can do with those tiny arms of yours."

You crouch down and grab a random rock, then stack a few more on top of it. Once done you stand back up and point at your creation. "Construction...?"

Anton raises an eyebrow, looking the most baffled you've seen him all day, and that's saying something. He stares at your attempt before he lets out a disbelieving laugh "Construction? You call that... whatever it is, construction? I'm not sure if I should be impressed, concerned, or just downright baffled."

You don't hesitate "Which one's more likely to get me hired?"

"Anton crosses his arms, looking you up and down as he seriously consideres your question. His earnestness is starting to get to you.

"Hm, I suppose I'd be impressed, because it takes a lot of audacity to call that thing construction. So I'm going to give you a chance."

He grins slightly.

"Spend the day around the site today but don't go past any yellow lines without permission. If you still want to join us afterwards, come find me and my bro at the end of the day at my office. We'll discuss your new position in the company then, shorty."

You can't help it, caught off guard by his genuine offer, you let out a huge, surprised smile, no sarcasm or barbs in sight "Wait really?!"

You can vaguely tell Anton is taken aback by your response, but he quickly covers it up with a smirk "Of course. It'd be fun to have someone so short around here to tease, it's not like I can mess with the president after all." He says jokingly.

At your resulting glare, he chuckles and ruffles your hair with his large hand.

For a second, you feel dumbfounded at the overly familiar act, but you quickly regain your composure and push his hand away "Sorry head pats are reserved for friendship level 8 or higher."

"Oh? 8 or higher, huh? That's a pretty high number. I guess I'll have to work my way up to earn the privelage then.

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As the work day comes to a close, you make your way to Anton's office, directed by the scowling red head girl that often came to check on you throughout the day. She awkwardly waves off your genuine thanks.

I guess everyone here looks scary but is actually nice? You wonder.

"Hey there, shorty." Anton perks up from his slumped position as he sees you come in. You notice his desk and seat appear comically small when compared to his size, it doesn't help that the office room is rather cramped. "Did you have a fun day of "construction" today?"

You sigh "I tried to help, but everyone kept telling me I'd just get in the way." You say as you unceremoniously drop in a guest chair by his wooden desk "Please hurry up and give me an official position at the company."

Anton's smirk softens as he sees your dejected expression.

"Heh, I can see you really want to fit in here, huh? My bro and I really appreciate that kind of spirit. Alright, I'll do you a favor and give you an official position."

He seems to think for a moment before speaking "How about you become the company's official short stack? We do lack a mascot."

Your eye twitches involuntarily "My dude you are giving my fist an erection. Are you trying to get socked in the face?"

Anton doubles over his desk laughing, a full body laugh with his shoulders shaking and his mouth gasping for air. Well it was a very good line wasn't it? You inwardly give yourself a pat on the back for causing that reaction. Finally when the bursts of laughter subside and he can actually breathe again, the taller male leans down and gets close to your face with his signature smirk on.

"Ha! I'd like to see you try. Besides, you're too short to land a proper punch, anyway."

Anton's smirk fades into a more serious expression this time as he considers your question. He taps his chin in thought.

You deadpan. Bro cannot be acting all nonchalant after he almost went into cardiac arrest from your joke "Back on topic," you say impatiently "any real positions I can fill up?"

He looks you up and down for what feels like the millionth time this day, before speaking "If I'm being honest, the only jobs you could fit would probably be serving food at the cafeteria or maybe assisting in office work, hardly something that would feel like construction work."

"Hmm, let's see..."

You try not to pout "But just today I saw a girl shorter and definitely younger then me, she was working hands on and-"

"The president," Anton interrupts "has many years of experience, she also may not look it to your untrained eyes but she has a lot of practical muscles that make up for her size disadvantage."

You blanch That was the President?! I'd been calling her girlie-pop all day! I think I even called her pookie once?!

Suddenly, all the strange looks the staff were throwing you throughout the day made a lot more sense.

"That said..." Anton brings you back out of your thoughts "How about we start you off as an assistant? I'll have you work under me, and I'll show you the ropes around here, it would also count as a training period. If you prove yourself competent, I'll consider promoting you to an official position."

Your eyes gain a shine to them at the offer he went of his way to give, and you feel a bit remorseful at all the attitude you've been giving him "Wait, wouldn't that be troublesome for you?"

Anton shrugs lightly, that smirk returning to his face.

"Troublesome? Nah, I'd get a kick out of having a pipsqueak like you following me around. And who knows, maybe you can learn a thing or two from a professional like me." He says, pointing proudly at his chest.

You deadpan yet again. "I take back the good thoughts I started having of you, what was I thinking?" You tell him as you shake your head in mock despair.

Anton laughs at your blunt response, clearly enjoying the banter. "Ha! There's Shorty's short temper kicking in again. Come on, don't be so uptight . I'm just messin' with ya."

He grins widely, clearly finding this whole situation amusing. He then playfully ruffles your hair with his hand.

You push his hand away again "My head isn't for patting unless you're level 8 friendship I said!"

Anton laughs good naturedly, and obediently removes his hand.

"Ha! Still going on about that friendship level thing? Fine, I'll keep my hands to myself for now. But just know, I have plenty of other ways to bother you, Shorty."

"I've known you for only one day and yet I don't doubt that one bit."

Anton crosses his arms and leans against the nearby wall, looking down at you.

Still, you can't resist messing with him right back, so you get up and walk away "Nevermind I'll go see if the convenience store down the street is still hiring-"

"Oh, you have no idea. Stick around, shorty, and you'll see what I mean. You haven't experienced true torment yet." His voice has a teasing quality to it and you can tell he puts extra care in making that obvious to compensate for his naturally intimidating size and face.

Anton quickly scrambles off the wall and grabs your arm, halting your retreat "Oh no you don't. You're not getting out of this that easily." He smirks, as if he wasn't floundering less then a second ago. His grip on your arm is gentle yet unrelenting "You're stuck with me, Shorty. You already accepted the job as my assistant, remember? You can't back out now."

You sigh dramatically, and hear as Anton laughs at your theatrics. You then remember the two of you haven't properly introduced yourselves to each other yet "I guess I have to be a woman of my word." You say in mock reluctance as he lets go of your arm "It's a little late, but my name is Y/n by the way, L/n Y/n. What's yours?"

His smirk slowly fades into a genuine smile "Oh, we never did properly introduce ourselves, huh? Hah, guess we were so busy bickering we forgot about the formalities." He extends his hand for a handshake "Name's Anton Ivanov. Remember that, ok Shorty?"

You grasp his hand, his grip strong and sturdy "Like I said, my name's Y/n. Since we're on the more serious topics, is there a contract I need to sign or am I in a trial period for now?"

Anton shakes your hand gently before responding, seemingly very aware of how much bigger his hand is as it is engulfs yours. If you didn't know better you'd think he's nervous to accidentally hurt you. "Yeah trial period's a fitting name, and no contract signings just yet. We'll see how you do working under me before we worry about paperwork. So, Shorty, are you ready to get started as my assistant?"

"How early does the work day start here?" You ask, forcefully dragging your eyes away after they started staring at his chest a bit too long. You can't help it tho! It's more comfortable for your neck to stare at that region!

Anton scratches his chin thoughtfully, considering your question and blissfully unaware of your internal turmoil.

"Hmm, work usually starts around 6 in the morning. We like to get an early start here at Belobog. Why do you ask?"

You gulp "Wow, bright and early with the sunrise huh?"

Anton valiantly tries to suppress a chuckle at your reaction. He fails, but you suppose it's the effort that counts.

"Yep, bright and early. We don't like to waste time around here. And hey, don't worry about adjusting to the early hours, you'll get used to it soon enough, shorty."

"I sure hope so." You sweat drop, then your eyes drift to the arm sized device strapped to his arm. "Is that the main tool you use?" You motion with your chin towards the machine he still has strapped to his arm despite the work day being already over.

Anton follows your gaze, and he brightens considerably at your question. "This is my bro, it's a pile driver." He says seriously, and it doesn't take long to realize he's not joking.

He grins, looking down at his arm-mounted weapon affectionately "My bro and I go way back, and it got my back in both work and combat." He says proudly.

"I guess you could say it is, in a way, like family. It's been with me through a lot."

He pats the pile driver, a fond look in his eyes.

Your eyes soften "Well, can't wait to see you and your bro in action once I officially start!" You exclaim, mentally cataloguing the pile driver as Anton's Emotional Support Companion in you head.

"So, I hear Belobog Industries has dorms for all staff members, are newbies like me included or do I need to find my own lodgings around here?" You change the subject, because while you didn't mind hearing more about Anton and getting to know him better, you did still have an objectif in coming here "I wanna know if I'll need to make moving arrangement soon."

Anton's grin widens at your enthusiasm and what he reads as genuine interest in the company.

"Ha! That eager to get in on the action, huh?" he guesses "You're going to fit right in here."

He pats your head lightly, and you're starting to understand it's meant to be a playful gesture rather than a condescending or even teasing one.

"And don't worry about lodging. We provide dorms for all staff members, including newbies like you. You don't need to worry about finding a place to stay."

"Well that's convenient," you say as you bat his arm away, almost by reflex now "I guess I better go get my stuff sorted by tomorrow then." You say as you shift to get going, before a loud bang outside Anton's office door startles you both, and a tall woman comes barreling in.

"Anton!" She all but shouts "I got it! I cracked the code uncle Khors left behind!"

Next to you, Anton is initially startled by the sudden entrance, but he soon regains his composure. He throws a look at you, as if making sure you're not scared off by the taller woman's antics, then turns back to her, his face a mixture of surprise and curiosity.

"Grace? You cracked the code? That's great, but we need to tell the president before you -"

But this Grace person is no longer listening, as her attention is now in on you "Huh, I didn't know it was bring your kid to work day? Wait who's kid is this?"

You deadpan "For the last time. I'm an adult."

At your claim, she looks you up and down and it's quite obvious she doesn't believe you. "A highschooler maybe." She murmurs under her breath.

Anton quickly interjects before she can say more, and you can hear the hint of annoyance in his voice as he speaks "Grace, Y/n's not a high schooler..."

You finally sigh and take out your ID card, at least Anton seemed to believe you so you didn't think he'd take it for a fake ID.

"Oh you poor thing!" The woman says after thoroughly comparing your face to the image on the card "who malnourished you?"

"I'm not malnourished." You say with a tired sigh, but it's not like you can explain your situation, so you don't think you come off as very believable.

Anton gives Grace a sarcastic look as she tries to save her mistake. He rolls his eyes, but a small smile still forms on his face.

"Well!" Grace says "Whatever you two are discussing can wait, let's get her to the cafeteria before it closes, someone is in desperate need of a big meal-" At Anton's warning look, Grace amends "Uhh that person being Anton! A bear sized fellow like him definitely needs to eat lots!"

"Nice save there, Grace. Real subtle."

I don't know what these two's relationship is, but they seem close. You wonder internally.

And as Anton glances at you, it seems he misreads your pondering expression as one of doubt about yourself because he says: "Don't you worry, Shorty. You're fine. I've met actual malnourished people, and trust me, you're in the clear."

...why is he such a green flag?! You have to admit to yourself it'd be quite the shame if he is dating Grace.

"But it's true that we're all hungry" Anton continues while nodding "Grace is right, and let me tell you, the cafeteria food here is really good. I wouldn't want you to miss out on it, shorty."

You nod back, liking the idea "Alrighty then, please lead the way." You go for a polite voice but at Grace's giggle you wonder if you over did it.

Anton grins and gestures for both of you to follow him.

"Aight, I'll show you the way to the cafeteria."

He starts walking and motions for you and Grace to fall in step beside him.

Grace starts telling you both all about the mysterious code the former president of Belobog Industries had left behind, and while fairly sure the information should remain confidential, it wasn't like you could stop the woman on her tirade, you notice Anton doesn't even try.

Then again, they probably think I haven't a single clue of what she's talking about.

As the three of you near what you assume is the cafeteria, Grace stops dead in her tracks. "Oh gosh I'm so sorry, I know I was the one that suggested coming here but I just got an alert and I need to go back and check on my children!" Grace exclaims showing a notification with a warning symbol for an icon. By children, you figure she's talking about machines or software code.

Anton hardly looks surprised. He shakes his head "Hah, typical Grace. Don't worry about it, we can grab food ourselves. You go take care of your babies."

Anton pats her on the shoulder reassuringly "Just make sure to eat something later, okay?"

Grace nods, and you expect her to hurry off towards her workstation but instead she moves to your side and whispers in your ear "My intuition tells me you're a good person, so good luck, I'm rooting for you!" And as you blink in surprise, the woman is already rushing off. You realize that at some point you'd made the judgement she was wholly focused on her mechanic creations and had little attention to her surroundings, but that had to be untrue. She read the situation in seconds and seems to be setting you two up on a date of sorts.

Anton on the other hand watched the entire exchange with one eyebrow raised.

As Grace runs off towards her creations, he turns back to you with a slightly quizzical look.

"What'd she whisper to you?"

You give him a sly smile "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Anton gives you a playful glare in return and crosses his arms "Oh, now you're just teasing me. Come on, spill the beans Shorty. Let me in on the secret."

You skip ahead and push the cafeteria double doors open "Oh wow this place smells great, it's suddenly making me feel so hungry! We better get some food quick!"

Behind you, you hear the taller male let out a hearty chuckle at your unsubtle change of topic "A convenient case of selective hearing, huh? Okay, I'll let it slide for now."

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After filling your trays with food the two of you choose somewhere to sit, and with the cafeteria mostly empty it was like you had the whole place to yourselves.

Time to satisfy our empty stomachs.

Or so you thought.

You barely get to sit down before Anton gets a call, and he immediately gets up to take it. You wonder for a few seconds if it would be rude or not to start eating without him, however the call doesn't take that long.

"Sorry about that." Anton says, but when you look up to face him it's like looking at a different person. His attention is still on his phone and the set of his shoulders is stiff, but most of all, his smile is nowhere to be found "Something came up, you can start without me and uh- I'll be right back."

He's gone before you can get a word in edgewise.

Well, now you've been subjected to the inconvenience of eating alone in a cafeteria. At least it's mostly empty. You take exactly two bites of your delicious burger (it seems he was right about the food in this place) before you're interrupted, by Grace again this time.

"Hey! You're Anton's girlfriend!"

You almost choke-

"Where did he go- I think I messed up and I need his help before Sweet Pea finds out!"

Wow... Where do I even start with this one...

You decide to go with the basics "I'm not his girlfriend. I don't know someone called him away I think. Why are you afraid of a vegetable finding out about your mistake...?"

"So he's not here? Oh no." The woman turns on her heel and leaves.

You don't hesitate and follow after her, you'd rather not have to sit alone in a cafeteria, you just hope no one will put away your food while you're gone.

The real problem tho, is how much taller and faster she was. By the time you make it to the double doors you have no clue which direction she went in.

I think she went this way last time?

You pick a direction and at some point the smoke alarms start beeping in the halls, and you hear footsteps somewhere in the building rushing to and fro. Sure enough, you find yourself in a technician's lab at the end of the route. The only problem is, Grace is not here.

You walk in.

It doesn't take long to figure out what was causing a commotion, as the smoke alarm was beeping on and off above a smoking machine component. You step closer and take a look.

Hmm I'm not familiar with this model, but...

Your head turns towards the computer setup on the desk, warning and error messages flashing on the monitor. You sit down and crack your knuckles.

Let's give this a go.

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Anton comes back to the cafeteria, finding you right where he left you.

"Heyo Shorty, sorry that took a while, wha- you're not eating yet?"

"Ah- I nibbled at the burger a bit, but I didn't wanna start without you so..." You lie smoothly.

"What the- I told you you could start," Anton says plopping into his seat "now I feel bad for making you wait so long." He says with a- is that a kicked puppy face? You didn't even know it was possible on him.

You instantly start feeling bad "Oh no worries, I didn't even feel the time pass!" I was fairly occupied anyways "Oh! I heard a lot of noise out there, what was going on?" You smoothly switch subjects, grabbing a hold of your burger and taking a bite.

"Hn? Oh yeah, the smoke alarm was ringing in multiple branches but there wasn't a fire in any of them, the system was pranking us I guess." He stabs his steak and starts cutting it "I tried to go back right after but Grace came to find me cuz something was acting up, so I go on a detour to her lab, we got there and whatever she needed a hand with just righted itself so I hurried back." He takes a bite of meet and waits till he's swallowed it to continue "You sure I didn't take too long?"

You smile "Really it's fine, it wasn't that long at all."

For the first seven to ten minutes of you two sitting together again, you both give your undivided attention to your food filled trays. Finally, after devouring an entire burger you break the silence "I'm gonna be honest with you, Anton, I had you all wrong when I first saw you this morning." You say between mouthfuls of fries, keeping one hand in front of your mouth whenever there's food in it and you need to talk.

Anton grins at your admission, taking a sip of his drink before replying "Hah, yeah, I can tell. You were giving me the eye roll of all eye rolls this morning. I take it you've changed your opinion of me now then?"

"Well, you have a very imposing build and with your resting scowl face I thought you'd be... Well nevermind, turns out you're someone who helps those in need... you also got a nice laugh." You end softly.

You hear a utensil drop, and you look up to see Anton's fork fell onto his steak, but more interesting was the deer caught in headlights look he was giving you.

Just as fast as it comes however he pushes it away, regaining his composure in record speed "Ha! I can see why you thought that. I do have a bit of a mean mug when I'm not smiling, though I've been told my laugh sounds like a bear's roar, so the nice laugh bit is definitely a first!" He grins at you, and you wonder if the lighting is playing tricks on you because you think there's some light redness at the top of his cheekbones. He then continues "But you're right, I do try to be helpful and kind, especially to those in need. And I'd like to think my sense of humor isn't half bad either."

You're not sure how to respond to that, the man has been nothing but forthcoming and honest with you all day while you've been... not.

Instead, you glance at the wall clock and say "I think I need to head out soon." As you clean off the last of your fries. "I came here for a job interview but I somehow ended up meeting you and uh- I really enjoyed it! I just wouldn't wanna walk back home too late in the dark y'know?"

"Anton looks at the time on his phone and nods in understanding."

"Yeah, it is getting late. It's not safe to walk around at night, especially for short stuff like you. I don't want you getting lost between the cracks in the sidewalk or something." He gives you a playful smirk.

You go to reply, deadpan tone and expression at the ready when he interrupts you.

"But... if you want, I could always give you a ride home. I have a company car parked nearby."

You hesitate " ...you already payed for the meal, which I'll totally pay you back for by the way! So I don't want to trouble you more..."

Anton shakes his head and waves off your concerns "Nah, don't worry about it. It's just a meal, it's no trouble at all. And don't worry about paying me back either, consider it a welcome to the company gift." He grins, then leans in closer, lowering his voice conspiratorially "Besides, you wouldn't be troubling me. It's my pleasure to help you out, Shorty."

You sweat drop "What's the point of me giving you my name if you'll just keep calling me that?"

Anton chuckles at your reaction, clearly enjoying teasing you "Oh, lighten up a bit. I like giving nicknames to people. It's a nice way to bond, y'know? Besides, it's kind of fitting, don't you think? Given your, uh, petite stature."

You glance at his emptied out tray, the mountains of food he'd heaped onto it already gone "Well, the bonding experience can wait till tomorrow, if you're done, shall we get going?"

Anton leans back in his chair, patting his stomach with a satisfied smile "Yeah, I'm all done. Let's hit the road." He stands up and stretches, then motions for you to follow him "Come on, Shorty. Let's get you home safe and sound."

You follow after him "Tell me honestly, Anton." You say as he grabs his tray to place it on the racks nearby, when you go to grab yours he beats you to it and smoothly takes that one as well, stacking it on his.

"I could've carried that!" You whine.

Anton's infuriatingly attractive grin makes another appearance "Oh, I know you could've carried it. But I'm just being a gentleman, shorty. Can't have you doing all the hard work before you even start tomorrow, you'll get even tinier!" He ends, his tone is teasing as usual but his eyes softened up considerably, and the look he's giving you has your insides turning to mush.

You flush. "Uh- as I was saying, are you maybe a bear in disguise? Because you just cleaned off a mountain of food alone."

Anton laughs at your flushed expression and your playful accusation, the way he's keeping his composure somehow just feels unfair, though you guess for someone working in construction keeping his cool would be a must.

"Ha! Bear in disguise, huh?" He replies "Nah, I'm just a guy with an appetite. You know, working here, I need the extra energy." Then his grin turns cocky "Plus, it takes a lot of food to fuel all this muscle." He gives a playful flex, showing off his bicep with a smirk.

You give a playful eye roll "Oh wow, and you're so humble too!" You say flatly "What a catch wow!"

Anton lets out a hearty laugh at your sarcastic remark and gives you a playful salute "Oh, you know it. I'm the total package. Good looks, charm, wit, and the appetite to match." He grins, clearly enjoying the banter, which you've come to enjoy as well.

"But I'll have you know, there are quite a few women here who think so too."

You deadpan "Good for you. Give me there number, I'll help set you up."

Anton chuckles, then scratches his chin in mock thoughtfulness, then his expression turns into a grin and he gives you a playful nudge.

"But why would I need their number when I've got yours, Shorty?"

You blink "Huh? But I never gave my number...?"

"Yeah, not yet you didn't, but I have good intuition. Call it a sixth sense." He taps his temple with a wink. And it's telling me a certain cute Shorty is interested."

You flush harder "Well your sixth sense must be malfunctioning this time." You say walking ahead, trying to keep him from seeing your beat red face. Unfortunately, with how much taller he is, he catches up by the next second.

When he's by your side, he wastes no time laughing at your flushed face "Hah, you're forgetting who you're dealing with, Shorty. These long legs of mine give me an unfair advantage."

You don't reply.

"And are you sure my sixth sense is malfunctioning this time? Cuz you're lookin' real flustered."

"You're imagining things, maybe it's time to visit the eye doctor?" You huff.

"Oh? Is that so? Hm, maybe my eyes aren't as sharp as they used to be. Let me have a closer look, just in case."

He places one hand on your shoulder to halt your walk and leans in closer, making a show of examining your face.

Your eyes go wider then your older sister's saucers "Hmm strange, I'm getting a clear view of your rosy cheeks right now, and my sixth sense is telling me it's not from the cold."

You consider how to get the upper hand in this situation, but with your muddled mind it gets a bit tricky. You end up going with the first thing that comes to mind "You're right, it's from the heat, it's really getting hot in hear for some reason-" You start, before realizing belatedly how suggestive that sounded "Uh- wait no-" You flush further.

Anton grins at your unintentional innuendo, and raises an eyebrow, playing along "Oh really? Getting hot in here, hm?" He looks around, feigning innocence "Huh, seems like a comfortable temperature to me. Maybe it's just you, Shorty."

You cover your tomato colored face with your arms "Oh enough already, you win so just stop!"

Anton laughs and puts his hands up in mock surrender "Alright, alright, I'll stop. Can't have the cute shorty overheating on me now, can I?" in a quieter, more gentle tone, he adds, "But seriously, your blush is adorable."

You groan "Anton!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Anton pulls up outside your house in the company car and turns to you with a smile "Here we are, shorty. Home sweet home."

You nod "Thank you, and sorry for the trouble."

Anton shakes his head and waves off your apologies "No trouble at all, I enjoyed the company. Besides, I couldn't just let you walk home alone in the dark." He grins, then adds in a playful tone, "Especially not when you're such a cute Shorty."

You deadpan "Don't make me take it back." You consider something then say "Give me your phone for a sec."

Anton raises an eyebrow, but obediently hands you his phone "Sure, but why do you need it? You gonna put your number in without me asking?"

"Nice try. I'll give you my Inter Knot contact for work stuff. You're not high level enough to get my number yet."

"High enough level, huh? Am I just a lowly level one in your eyes right now?"

Not looking up from your typing you reply "You made it all the way up to level three on day one, Congrats! But your nickname for me is shorty, I don't know how to feel about that yet."

Anton laughs, seemingly amused by your rating system for him "Only level three? Damn, I was hoping for a higher rank. But you're right, the nickname 'Shorty' might be deducting some points."

He grins, then adds with a wink, "Maybe if I find a better nickname, I'll rank up higher in your eyes... or maybe I'll just keep calling you 'Shorty' just to annoy you."

You deadpan "Well that would be very in character for you wouldn't it?" You say handing him back the phone.

Anton takes it back with a smirk, clearly unrepentant for his nickname choice "Hah, you know me so well already, Shorty. I gotta admit, your deadpan face is just too fun to tease." He leans in closer, unable to resist poking at you further "Besides, the way you turn all tomato-red whenever you're flustered is just priceless."

You push his face back with your hand "Goodnight Anton, see you tomorrow." You say as you unlock the cat door and head out.

"Haha, goodnight, Shorty. Get some rest. Sweet dreams."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And as you lock the car door and leave, Anton checks his phone, leaving the Inter Knot app to check the CCTV footage he has access to. The one that clearly shows you entering and leaving Grace's lab. He barely mumbles out "Till tomorrow then... Y/n. Hopefully I'll figure out what you're really up to soon."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hmm did I manage to make the reader subtly mysterious? 🤔 Tell me guys if y'all want a part two. LavenderLily you can tell me directly 👀

And as always, Free Palestine ❤️ 🇵🇸

[marksbear]

Request is:

What if the BAU team got a new team member who used to work on old xfiles/unsolved cases, he's seen things that just can't be explained and thing you wish you never knew existed?--- @xweirdo101x

I made this with headcanons and Drabble. At first I was thinking about turning this into something very dark and creepy but I decided not to.

BAU X NEW AGENT READER

-The team new at a instant you wasn’t your typical new agent. You looked tired, but in the same way not tired. You kept to yourself not making any real efforts to know your team outside of their business life.

-They noticed how your eyes weren’t full as hope and life like the other new agents they meet. No yours were cold and that you self aware.

-At first they thought you were just shy. Like during the first case you had just stayed in the back observing everything and anything.

But soon enough they all found out that you were far from shy.

-Each member of the team noticed separate details about you. Some that they won’t usually care about, but with you they analyzed your every move.

-Hotch noticed how you connect things fast. Whether it’s relationships with the victims like how their similar from each other all the way to knowing how and where would the unsub would strike next.

-Derek noticed how you remember even the biggest and smallest details. Like the conversations you have with suspects to even remembering the first thing he said to you.

-Penelope seen you write notes to yourself. You wrote fast and from afar it looked like you were just scribbling on paper. But as she looked closer she saw that of had lost of ideas and possibilities even had sketches of what the unsub may look like.

-Anytime you were in the office late at night Rossi would sometimes sit next to you quietly watching you write and type various of things. What really caught his eye was a very old cold case you was researching about.

“You like reading old mysteries?” Rossi finally says catching you off guard. You turned your head to face his and with a straight face you spoke back.

“Not just reading… I liked solving those so called mysteries.” Y/n answers before turning back around to write.

“Liked? What do you mean?” Rossi asks with a raised brow. “I still do of course, but now I’m working here, so I gotta stop focusing on the past and focus on the present. But old habits just die hard.” Y/n answered as if it was nothing.

-After that Rossi had a unspoken respect for you.

-He told the rest of the team about the moment you guys shared and told him exactly what he told him.

-While the team talked about it and what your past job could have been like Penelope opens her laptop quickly getting onto google searching up your name.

-Shockingly to her the internet knew a lot of thins about you. You were somewhat a hero to say the least. Hundreds of unsolved cases but now solved by you popped up. Interviews and news lines about you was everywhere.

-She wondered how the hell did you come here without anyone knowing who you were.

-She quickly showed her team about her findings.

-Now everything was clicking together about your habits and personality. Reid began to ramble on and on about all the signs that you showed like correcting people when they mention the wrong serial killer or knowing secrets details that most regular agents won’t know about the criminal justice system.

-They all knew that you were different from the start, but none of them ever guessed that you a expert and a true hero.

-It didn’t take you long to know that they knew about your past experiences. Not like they didn’t try to hide that they knew.

-Reid started to ask you question after question like how you solved a case that was unsolved for years or how you found evidence to the cold cases.

-Derek made a game where he quizzed you about different unsolved and cold cases.

-Hotch was first to ask a more deeper question like about the things you saw and had to go through. And you gave honest answers. You told him that you seen things that doesn’t even seem real and things that anyone wouldn’t think existed. He felt sad for you but in the same time respect grew.

-Rossi randomly had just gave you a random comforting hug saying that he’s proud of you. He didn’t care that you started a new chapter in your career he just felt the need to tell you how much he cared and how proud he is at you.

-You and Penelope had a rough time bonding since your more realistic and mysterious while she’s sweet and bubbly always looking at the bright side while you expect the worst.

-it was hard trying to understand and know each other.

-But once y’all finally did y’all became  inseparable. In a strange way you both found comfort in each other.

-The team all started to understand and bond with you after they all excepted what you went through in the past to get where you are now.

THE END

[crucifiedbymypriestess]

Hey, it's me again! As you know, I was excited to write Dark!Charles, and these are some quotes from before he drown in the darkness of his conscience, he is fr fr an absolute lost cause.

None of those works are published yet, but it'll be on AO3 soon. I'm also will posting about other cherik FICS.

Once again, forgive my English, I also translated it with Google this time. Feel free to correct any grammar/language misspells.

With a broken heart and a recent abandonment, Charles is tempted to be no longer fearing his own telepathy.

Some quotes:

"I keep asking myself if there is something about me that makes everyone abandon me. If my love, my emotions and my words always show that I'm so desperate, that my mind wants to grab his, dig in my nails and turn them both completely into one, because only then my love could be understood."

"...But I liked it. I liked that because only then I can feel a pain so deep, that I certainly call it mine, and only mine.

Only in that way I can feel my heart being only mine, my mind only listening to me, and for a brief moment I only..."

"It hurted me, but he left as if nothing had happened, with his figure upright. I remember crying and complaining about the sharp, dull pain in my back.

My mind was desperately trying to reach his, but his direction was empty and quiet. But my projections never stopped, they were transmitted loud and clear only to Erik. Just...

Please, Erik, turn around, please look at me. Don't go, Erik, please. I love you, I love you, I'm sorry. Please don't abandon me, I can resist more, I will never complain, but stay.

Erik disappeared leaving a trail of red smoke like everyone else next to him, but my heart felt that Erik turned into ashes until his body mixed with the sand of the beach in Cuba."

"Maybe if I resist, in the end there may be a reward for me, a little more and maybe something will shine in front of my eyes.

Enduring so much pain, I can't give up now, just a little more and in the morning I will have a happy ending, and I will only be able to hear myself, and I will feel my own hands, I will feel my own skin, I will be loved and kissed, and I will like it, I will. . I will love, and it will tickle me, I am so sure. Just a bit more of waiting."

"I hate him.

Why it has be so difficult? I'm tired, and I really wonder if this is really necessary, if the times I see the love of my life again, it will be to be judged and led into a fight that I don't want.

Maybe it's best for us to say our goodbyes and bury our love, stay with our good memories..."

"Help your people, Charles. If you owe anyone anything, it's us. You can't keep defending humans, Charles! They plan to exterminate us!

I don't want to be anyone's hero, Erik. I... I'm serious, I'm tired."

"I don't owe anything to you, or anyone else, Erik. Why is so difficult to understand that for once I would like to be the one who can choose himself? Are you going to steal my life and the decisions in it like you stole my sister?"

"I never asked about this, I don't want it. I don't want to be the one, to rescue anyone, please, just... everyone go on their own."

And that's all, lol. Me on my way to give old men abandonment issues. Still not satisfied with the writing, but I'm getting better time to time, I'm getting there!

[mayomaggot]

Every Single Class of 09’; Flipside Message

Feet Ending

Title: Greetings my queen

From: 703-425-2981

Message:

hewwo dere i saw your FM wisting and wanted to see if I could come to your house to be stepped on by your cute little piggies. My parents named me Frederick but you can call me Freddy Footins! I am 34 years young and have been with the FeetMeet community for about 5 years now. Someone on the forums snapped a pic of your feet without your permission and I pleasured myself to it roughly 9 times.\nWith that icebreaker out of the way, i have saved up about 300 dollars with my SSI checks and would like to hire your services. Unsure if you do any of the more erotic foot sessions but just in case let me list you some more of my fetishes: feet, choking, food play, facesitting, Mommy incest, sister incest, twincest, simulated kidnapping, women wearing the Taco Bell uniform, you pretending to be Mexican but then saying you are white after I point out how hot it is that you are Mexican, covering my rent this month, that last one wasnt a kink but would be pretty cool if you did that. Also I am not a rapist by definition (looked it up) so no need to google anything about me. P.S. havent seen your face yet but if you look roughly 12 i am SO going to try moving out of my parents house down the line one day maybe to date you!

OD Ending

Title: right number?

From: 703-960-1431

Message:

Hi I'm not sure if I have the right person but this is Jeffery's mother. Was just texting to thank you for finding his body and alerting the authorities when you did. Unfortunately they were too late but you can't blame yourself for that. A part of me is devastated but another part of me is relieved, which is horrible to say... Jeffery has never quite fit in with the other children, never had the best grades, and maybe this was the only avenue for him sadly enough. Every day I wondered in the back of my head if I had failed as a mother by raising someone so awkward. By middle school I eventually gave up on him to compartmentalize my insecurities as a parent, letting him play with toys and masturbate to what I assume is animated pornography that I found on his computer. I was worried he would be hopelessly going through adulthood so this might have been the best outcome for him. He would tell me he was going to work on video games for a job when he was an adult, then it was comic books, then it was making YouTube reviews of action figures. All these things he said he wanted to do and never pursued... my fear was he just wanted to be a child playing with toys forever. My son's suicide is bittersweet, on one hand he is gone but on the other he realized himself that life wouldn't work out and ended things before they got worse. I KNEW there was a smart boy somewhere inside of Jeffery. I also know we have never spoken before but I needed to tell someone who would not have any pre-conceived notions about my pain...and can understand my blunt honesty now.When Jeffery was alive I was insecure. Now that he's gone I can feel free.

Slave Ending

Title: right number?

From: 202-347-4800

Message:

Heyo this George W Bush from the America White House! Not sure if those lesser camel jockeys let you have a phone as a slave but I personally wanted to let you know that Obama has sent a presidential pardon message to the Taliban to let you out. The Taliban ignores most of my messages and will make a grainy VHS tape telling me MacDonalds is the anti-christ or buddha or whatever the hell brown people worship but you get the idea. American girls like you have a bright future and we need to perserve that in ensuring all men are created equal in this race for equal opportunity.

P.S. Kanye was right ;)

Car Crash Ending

Title: can you cover

From: 703-960-1431

Message:

This is Ron Stumpford of Dominos Fairfax texting about the tragic passing of Ari. Now that shes dead we dont really have anyone to do deliveries on NFL Thursdays anymore so can you cover for her? We dont care that you killed her drunk driving we just gotta move orders here. Between you and me I am glad you killed her cause I asked her out on a date and she made up some fake excuse that she was gay FUCK THAT BITCH! But please come down and cover for her because the selfish bitch was too inconsiderate to have someone cover for her in the event she died on the job. I told her parents that and they made it out like IM the bad guy. If you cant drive for us would you at least have any naked pictures of her or anything? Im trying not to leave this deal empty handed here. Not even her parents had naked pictures of her to send me like what a rip off!

Nicole's Suicide Ending

Title: why why why why...

From: nicole

Message:

why cant u help me

100% Completion Message

Title: Thanks for playing!

From: SBN3

Message:

Thank you for playing the Class of '09 visual novel series to completion!

This project set out to bring real, relatable experiences back into the current lexicon of entertainment through the medium of comedy. Originally it was thought a bunch of people in their early 30s would play these games for a laugh but it turned out people who were barely alive for 2009 gravitated towards it in larger numbers.

Many of the social issues featured in this game were not exclusive to the late 2000s and the teenage portion of our fans lead me to believe times haven't changed... I also learned that 2-line throwaway jokes qualify as lore for people who need employment.

Through these games, presenting the dynamic reality I had witnessed came second to only writing dialogue which would entertain a wide array of people.

From FPS streamer fratboy assholes who love Kylar to purple-haired gender neutral girls who love Ari... Class of '09 has succeeded in being a crossroads of internet culture (regardless of whether those two parties are even aware the other side plays the game). This was not by accident, this is just what happens when you aren't afraid to exit your comfort zone and explore other circles, other cultures, and most importantly other levels of hardship.

Represtation in media is important, however mainstream media cannot represent those they are disconnected from. If you're suicidal, homeless, bulimic, addicted, a sex worker, or in an abusive relationship, Class of '09 is not shock humor to you. It merely displays a reality the comfortable can't comprehend.

I cannot necessarily write how real which stories were or were not, but I can guarantee the answers will surprise you. Lives had been lost and many futures were squandered along the journey which influenced the stories in these games. Those who experienced some events of Class of '09 in their own lives would understand. Your funny stories and your sad stories are all you need to create media that resonates.

Now while the game contained a plethora of anti-pedophilia messagery you just can't avoid psychos who latch onto media just because it's popular. I would just like to warn our fans that child predators who infiltrated the Class of '09 fanbase have been using the following phrases to secretly identify each other:

"the writing in Class of '09 isnt very good"

"I hate SBN3"

"I hate Wrath Club"

"Class of '09 was good by mistake"

"I love Class of '09 but hate the creator"

"No! The game just made that up!"

Make sure to report anyone using this or similar secret pedo rhetoric to your local authorities. Thank you.

-SBN3 a.k.a. God.

this game was an actual dumpster fire, idk what I was expecting but it definitely wasn’t whatever we got

[bubblegum-gf]

Do you have an intro guide to rtumblr I want to be there but I feel like I don’t know something everyone else knows . If that makes sense

@my-name-is-daniel-yes has a very helpful link in his pinned post that I will re-link to you here, a quite expansive post about the history of rtumblr until 2022

(I think daniel's part of that post is much more relevant and useful than mine)

since you are here I will try to give you some succinct explanations on 4 key pillars of rtumblr. (It accidentally became another essay-)

If I got something wrong or anyone wants to add something feel free.

RTCLER

Explanation: In the summer of 2020 this post was made comparing RTGame to the onceler- the infamous tumblr sexyman. Primarily because he wears a suit and acts as a capitalist in games. And has "onceler energy" This is, I'd say, the beginning of rtumblr and our reputation for cursed posts. Then a blog for rtcler, @/ask-the-rt-cler was made similar to the old onceler ask blogs and we all started roleplaying. The roleplays have been dead for a while. See rtcler's blog for more information or more confusion. Additionally a lot of fanart and stuff was made so I think rtcler became pretty well-known.

2. THE BOARD

Explanation: This post is very long and most of it won't make sense. But it is extremely important to rtumblr. I will tell you why this post exists. In November 2021, RTGame tweeted that he looked at tumblr and was surprised by the amount of fanart here. Followed by "Who is the onceler, like really." Everyone freaked out wondering if he knows about rtcler, how much he's seen, and if he has a secret tumblr blog. Soon people started making blogs like notrtgame or not-not-rtgame or I-am-rtgame as if they were rt's secret tumblr blog. Then Fluffy posted The Board, trying to describe the relationship between RT, people associated with him, AU versions of him, and these fake rt blogs. It got out of hand fast. This led to more roleplays as c!Fluffy becomes crazy? mad with power? putting more and more rts on The Board. Those roleplays are also kinda dead right now but by god there's a lot of lore there over the past few years. There's more posts explaining all that somewhere.

3. HOLY FUCK THERE'S A LOT OF RTS

This google doc is also in @my-name-is-daniel-yes's pinned post as mentioned above. It contains links to over 600 RTGame AUs, ranging in complexity from a full on AU with lore, to art of a cute design, to a singular post just suggesting it as an AU. There's not gonna be a pop quiz on this you don't have to know all this. I just put it here because I feel like we reference it a lot when talking about how many rts there are (or at least I do, I'm obsessed with the concept). Have a little scroll through if you want, people make a lot of cool stuff and perhaps you'll see something you like.

4. MAGICAL JOHN

He is also a tumblr sexyman he's on the wiki. If you haven't seen rt's miitopia series he's a character in that. Rtumblr fell in love with him and likes to ship him with Chat. I thought it was important to include him because he's still quite popular even after like 2 years. Someone else talk about him more I can't write any more. The dandelion theory

That's all I got

If you do have a question don't be shy you can always go "hey what the FUCK is this! #rtumblr" and we will run to you with many many links.

[mysticficti0n]

All my attention Part 10

warnings- swearing, kissing, slight-teasing

words- 1.9k

If you'd like to read the previous parts → All my attention series

a/n- so if you're new here I am British and cannot speak any German, I speak a little French, Spanish and Italian but German- no. I also do not trust Google translate so this is gonna be like an avatar thing (if you've seen the newest one Jake says that their language just became normal or something along those lines) so in reality this is all in German, you as a reader know German but, its wrote in English... make sense? no... oh well

(I'm so sorry I've not done one of these in fucking ages but I've been so caught up in things and tomorrow is my sister birthday so this last week we've been doing things for her!)

┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━┑ backstory- you are the 5th member of Tokio Hotel and you always thought the love was equally platonic between you and a certain guitarist... but what if that all changed?

Bill's words stuck with me the whole day- what were we now? I didn't have a title for us and neither did Tom so we looked blankly "it's a bit early to tell yet" I spoke curling my lips between my teeth, Bill rolled his eyes and stood up heading to the front door

"well when you decide, tell me" and he left leaving me and his brother sat, Tom just smiled warmly to me, his arm hooked around my waist and we fell back into the seat his face finding it's way to the crook of my neck

"can we stay like this for a while" he spoke into my skin "you're so warm" I hummed a laugh while drawing shapes onto his shoulder "sorry that happened by the way..."

"it's okay" he breathed "I can't believe he found you" I giggled feeling a smile spread across Tom's lips "but I guess it's not to bad him knowing- it's if the press see or fans or just anyone besides a few close people" we sat cuddled up for a while, speaking small sentences and keeping each other warm and comforted until the time rolled around and Tom had to leave

"I'll call you tonight" we stood at the front door, arms wrapped around each others waist "you'll have to tell me about what you did for the rest of the day"

"well I could probably tell you right now- I'll be sat in my room reading a magazine then falling asleep, fun right?" the dreaded boy laughed pressing a kiss to my head

"thrilling- right I actually gotta go now, love you" I pulled his head and our lips connected, a hum of pleasure came from his lips "I fucking love that I can do this now" he kissed one last time before saying goodbye and running back to his own house, I shut my door and stood In the hall thinking over the last day- so much has happened

┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━┑

"it was wonderful sweetheart! I didn't know you could cook so well" my dad grinned collecting all our plates "tasted just like nana's"

"well I thought I'd try it out as a surprise for you all coming home- what do you think Stella?" the little girl clapped her hands with a huge gummy smile across her sauce covered lips "good?"

"yeah!" she laughed as mom lifted her from her seat to clear her up "momma good?"

"it was, sunshine it was great! you'll have to cook more" I rolled my eyes playfully at my mother as she patted my shoulder walking by "right well I need to give Stell a bath- oh y/n could you do me a job, pop next door and ask if they have...oh whats the word?" my mom stood bouncing my sister on her hip

"your dress by any chance love?" my dad spoke pausing from washing the dishes

"yes yes! my yellow dress, tell Simone I'll pay her tomorrow" I nodded standing from my seat and grabbing my hoodie off the stairs, I grabbed my keys and went out, cutting across the lawn and jumping the wall over to their house, I went straight to the door and did my special knock, I herd a few shouts before a groan and the door flew open

"yeah- oh Y/n!" I saw Tom stood holding a bottle of coke in one hand and the door in the other "hey babe" he came out shutting the door behind him and pressing a kiss to my lips "what are you doing here?"

"hey I've come to get moms dress, that yellow one" he nodded re-opening the door and holding it for me, I walked in to see the Kaulitz's huddled round a table covered in monopoly "hello"

"Bill no you cant-hi sweets, you okay?" Simone asked coming over "wait let me guess- your mothers wedding dress? well wedding guest dress" I nodded "follow me" Tom smiled letting me follow his mom up the steps and him closely behind "it should be a better length now, if not tell her bring it back"

"it looks amazing, moms going to look beautiful- oh she told me to say she'll give you the money for it tomorrow" I watched Simone sigh giving the dress over

"your bloody mother- she's not paying me, I know she wouldn't make me pay. anyways; whats your dress like I herd it's a dark purple one right?" she asked sitting herself on her bed

"yeah it goes to my ankles, I have these black shoes to wear but the dress its self is like purple in one light then a blue shine? I guess you could call it that- kinda iridescent"

"you'll match Tom's tie! you two could go as a date" I turn to the boy who was already looking to me "Bill can take.. well I don't know" she trailed off as the two off us laughed at her words

"we could love" Tom elbowed my side and his moms eyes shot up "erm anyways- whats Stella wearing Y/n?" he tried to ignore his mothers gaze but I could already hear her words

"whats going on between you two?" she raised an eyebrow and a hot flush lay across my cheeks "Oh! I see- Bill was right then" she rubbed our shoulders then walked out with a small giggle

"right so mom now knows..." Tom huffed chewing his cheek

"its okay, I mean maybe its good? we said we'd only really let close friends and family know- bit earlier then we planned but" I rested a hand on his clenched one and felt him relax "it's gonna be okay"

"I love you Y/n" his free hand cupped my jaw bringing me close to him bar a few inches "so much" I pushed forward connecting our lips "fuck" he groaned arms moving to circle my body, his mouth moved down to my neck to my sweet spot

"Tom- no not there" I hummed trying push him away not that I didn't enjoy it, I was terrified his family would hear "To-ahh-Tom please" he pulled away with a smirk "such a idiot"

"aww" he purred tucking loose hair behind my ear "can't take it?"

"sure if you wanna think that but I'm going home now" I laughed trying to walk out the room but felt a hand grab my wrist "Tom!" he pulled me back jabbing his fingers into my side making laugh as it tickled "TOM STOP!" I cried falling to the floor throwing the dress to the side while trying to kick him away "STO-HAHA PLEASE STOP" He finally stopped helping me back up and kissing the corner of my mouth "fuck off being all lovely now- I'm going" I got the dress and walked out the room back down the stairs were Bill was giggling along with his mom

"okay Y/n" the black haired boy grinned

"goodbye" I walked out the house hearing the laughing begin again and I couldn't help but join in, I mean the whole thing was crazy I guess. I made it home giving the dress over and getting ready for bed as we had practice for a show soon and have to be there for 8 so I showered, shaved, did skin care, cleaned the bathroom and in no time it was 1:24am- I sat on my bed re-painting my nails before my phone started to ring saying Gustav "hm" I grabbed my cell and answered "Gus?"

"hellllooooo Y/n/n we need you're help especially Georg- he wants you" he sung

"huh! whats up with you?" the boy giggled before the phone was ripped from his hands "oh"

"hey Y/n" it was Georg "Give me the phone- erm sorry about that but ah... have you by any chance got time to come to..- Georg give me my fucking phone you asshole- I don't know the name.. okay its the bar by McDonalds and get me and Gustav?- Georg I.... I don't feel good- or get Tom to get us, we can't get a fucking cab and" Georg was interrupted by a heaving sound then splat "ON MY FUCKING SHOES YOU CUNT REALLY?" I began laughing "FUCK OFF OVER THERE- ima kill him"

I couldn't hold back my laugh hearing the angriness of the bassist "I'll get Tom to come get you because I don't drive yet but, I'll make the spare room up for you guys" a quick thanks was said before the line ended and I found Tom's number

"hey.. what's- whats up?" his voice was sleepy and I mean it was 1:30 almost

"hi so erm... Georg and Gustav need you to pick them up from the bar next to McDonalds- like now" I herd him groan but then the shuffling of bed sheets and his feet dragging

"I'll meet you in the car babe" I laughed but he was serious

"I'm not coming I need to get the spare room ready for the two"

"I'll be waiting" and he ended the call 'great'

┍━━━━━━━━━━ ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ━━━━━━━━━━┑

"this is fucking stupid- why couldn't you guys walk to Y/n's instead of making me get up as well and drive to get your asses?" Tom scolded as the two clambered into the back

"well it was Georg's idea, he wanted to see Y/n" I herd a slap then a shrub from the bassist "what?!"

"dickhead" Georg grumbled staring out into the black streets, I saw Tom's jaw become tight, eyes narrower

"just say it dude- come on" Gus whispered erring another punch

"say what?" Tom turned back as we stopped at a red light "what's gotta be said?" he looked deadly, the red hue from outside making his features more intimidating

"Tom" I called giving him a 'look' but he ignored it "leave it they're drunk" I spoke just quiet enough for him to hear

"nothing has to be said man- he's bringing up shit" Georg protested, the lights switched and the guitarist turned back around giving me an angry look

"can you just take us home now" I asked turning to him, his body tense, knuckles like white mountains on his hands

"I'll fucking find out"

we made it home and the two boys had to help Gustav into the bed, quietly I stood watching Tom tuck in the drummer with an annoyed frown "thanks for this Y/n" Georg smiled nudging me "I'm sorry for what that dick was saying- his on a hole different world I promise I didn't wanna see you.. No no not that but- tell you what" the brunette rubbed my arm gently before walking away into the room nodding at Tom before getting in the bed. me and Tom tip toed into my room, shutting the door silently

"what did he say to you?" he spoke perching himself on the edge of my bed, I stood between his legs playing with his loose dreads

"that Gus is on his own planet and he didn't want to see me, but not like in a rude way but he gave up talking to me and just went to bed" Tom huffed resting his head on my stomach "you were a bit angry earlier Kaulitz?"

"of course I would be- don't want anyone acting like that toward my girlfri-" he stopped himself looking up to me and I couldn't stop the smile from forming on my face and nor could he "my girlfriend.. you... Y/n will you be my girlfriend?" I nodded whispering yes repeatedly "good" he spoke before our lips linked and I fell onto him, straddling him, his hands perched for a place to rest before getting comfy on my hips "love you baby"

"I love you too"

[okthatsgreat]

I changed around the letters on one of those church boxes with the messages in them to say "Google cats meow" in broad daylight, everyone driving past (the church was like Right on the side of a road) has like a 99% chance of having seen me doing it, some guy in a car saw me and stopped at a side of the road so i was like FUCK he's probably calling the cops. So i ran off and waited until the car was gone (watching from a distance behind the church) and finished the rearranging (it takes FOREVER to swap the letters around when you're imagining scenarios in your head where you get arrested for it) and once i was done i just booked it and took a longer route home then usual to try and throw anyone off and i got my period on the way over (it happened when i sneezed, which caused me to choke on the gum in my mouth which led to me having a minutes long coughing fit) and at some point (I tend to monologue when left to my own devices) I started singing the pokemon theme song, probably because i associated the specific road i was on with Pokemon go, and the whole thing apparently took me a little over a whole hour and its summer obviously so i was super hot and sweaty and Bleech and i am kinda curious to see what the sign says tomorrow, since it originally said "some questions Google cant answer" but a couple days ago it had said "some questions can't be answered by Google" and I had stolen the letter E off of it as a souvenir (since I'm moving away from this town soon) so I wonder if it was like passive aggressive or just they wanted the same message. It fills me with a strange excitement and fear like a rollercoaster imagining the sign directly referencing my pranks. I kinda wanna end up on the news about it just because it'd be a fun story to tell. He/him btw just cause i mentioned my period i want people to know im trans about it. I have no reason to be doing this. The church has never wronged me, ive never even been inside it. I'm just a trouble maker at heart. Besides they can't even get that mad i left all the letters in a pile on the ground in front of the box so they wouldn't have to buy new ones or anything

do any of you people own diaries anymore. i think you would really benefit from a diary

[nicolesainz]

Within The Limits (Ben Chilwell x Jenson Button x OC) Chapter 3

next chapter

Warnings: angst, fluff

Author’s note: it’s most likely gonna be more than 15 chapters but we’ll see. anyway, happy holidays and hope you guys enjoy!

"I suppose he hasn't taken the whole transfer thing too well, right?" Lissie asks, looking around before we discuss this topic.

"Not really. He hasn't told me anything straightforwardly but I can tell from his mannerisms. He kept googling all the players from Manchester United, Chelsea, Arsenal, Liverpool only to see who is more likely to hit on me." I sigh and look at my notes for today's race.

I am waiting for Lando to give me a call so I can go to the Mclaren garage and start the tour with Mason and Ben. Jenson is nowhere to be found, although once he sees me with those two, he won't be very pleased.

"He's almost 45, why is he so scared of committing to you officially? You guys have been seeing each other for two years. I don't think anyone will care who he's dating, unless he was Charles." Lissie points out the obvious, just like the conversation me and Jenson had yesterday.

If he is so afraid of losing me, why not officiate what we have and are? What is stopping him?

"I don't know Lissie. I have been trying subtly to ask him the same thing but he keeps on swerving the topic to something else. It's getting quite annoying." I look behind me, only to see from the corner of my eye Jenson talking with Nico. Once he realises I have been watching him, I face the other way and back to Lissie.

"Well, one way or another, one of those young footballers will try and get with you. I have heard some of them are really good people. Especially those two that you are waiting. No one has said anything negative about them." She playfully winks at me and a small grin is formed on my lips.

Suddenly, my phone buzzes inside my pocket and once I pull it out I read a message from Lando, telling me to stop by the garage. My heartbeat quickly picks up and I cant tell whether it's the nerves of making a good impression or even meeting Ben for the first time.

I wave Lissie goodbye for the timbering and head towards the garages, greeting all the mechanics and drivers that go past by me. This Grand Prix is always a joy to be at.

Once I finally made it to the Mclaren garage, I spot Lando behind Zak but I can't see either Mason or Ben. Before I even manage to squeeze myself past some of the guests, I feel a hand tapping on my shoulder lightly. I turn my head and come face to face with the two footballers.

"Oh my goodness, Mason, hello. How are you?" He pulls me into a quick hug before removing his sunglasses and gifting me the kindest smile on earth.

"Doing very well Chels, what about you? Thank you so much on agreeing for this tour. I know it's not your responsibility but I trust you when it comes to Formula One explaining." Ben's eyes widen once he realized Mason was the reason behind this guided tour.

"No problem at all. I love showing guests around the paddock and the track. I will even try to squeeze in a hot lap for you guys." The moment the words 'hot lap' escape my mouth, Ben blushes so intensely that his only excuse is nothing else but the temperature.

"Oh I am sorry, I didn't introduce the two of you. Chelsea, this is Ben, as you may know. Ben, this is Chelsea. Formula One and Premier League commentator." I flash my biggest and purest smile to Ben and I receive a soft but small smile, followed by a firm handshake.

"Lovely to finally meet you. I was wondering why I had never spotted you in any of the Chelsea games, given your name is the same as the team." Ben says funnily, trying to make a conversation.

I have to admit, he is very handsome. He is the opposite of Jenson but Ben is truly gorgeous. Mesmerising blue eyes, kind smile, breathtaking accent, gentle touch. I truly hope he is as good as Lissie said he is, otherwise it would be a pity.

"Actually, my father is a massive Chelsea fan, hence the name. And it's a pleasure to finally meet you. Haven't watched you much in action but from the bits and clips I have seen you, you are incredible!" That's a lie. I have watched him play. From his Leicester days.

I was always keen on football as much as Formula One. I even once tried to get into my school's women's football team but wasn't as good as I thought I would be, so I gave up on that dream easily. I follow Chelsea closely due to my dad, so when Ben's transfer was announced, he was over the moon. Making a great partnership with Reece James, I was replaying all their games and especially the ones I was missing due to commentating on others simultaneously.

"See Benji? She's a fan. No need to feel like you're being judged." Mason says comfortably but afterwards earning a hit on the ribs by Ben. He is more shy compared to Mason but that's just maybe because we don't know each other very well.

"I will become an even bigger now, given I am permanently being transferred to the Prem. Well, for the next two years at least." I say to both of them and Mason's grin gets bigger and bigger. Ben is surprised to hear this, certainly joyed by the statement.

"Really? How come? Will you be commentating on more games or?" Ben asks quietly trying not to pry.

"Sky sports told me that the views of the games were higher when a woman was commentating along and it made female viewers feel more inclusive, so they want to enhance that at the Premier League as well, not just Women's Super League."

We walk towards the exit of the pit lane and onwards to around the paddock. As I am pointing out what each building represent, we chitchat about multiple things. The boys are really interested into Formula One, so I am thankful to all the money I have spent on books about mechanics and history regarding the sport.

Ben looks fascinated by the amount of knowledge I have for this sport and keeps on asking more and more questions every time, which I am more than happy to answer. Mason on the other hand, remains quiet as he watched from the third point of view me and Ben's conversations.

And if I wasn't in a bad mood from the start of the day, Jenson spies on me by sending me dodgy texts and following us around the paddock but from afar.

'Guy with the hat is seriously close to you. His friend needs to get ahold of him'

'Why are you always smiling at what he says? What can be that funny?'

'Okay now his friend is taking pictures of the two of you. What is going on? What are you hiding from me?'

I ignore every single one of Jenson's texts. He sound and acts like a five year old. So what if I am having a nice time with the boys? I will be seeing more of them, I might as well get to know them a bit better.

"Everything okay, Chelsea?" Ben asks curiously, placing his hand on my shoulder softly. His touch is calming but at the same time electrifying. Soothing to whoever feels it.

"Of course. I am so sorry. I lost my train of focus. Where was I?" I shake my head and put on a fake smile, trying not to ruin everyone else's mood as well.

"You were telling us about the Brawn-Mercedes transformation. Also there's a guy coming our way in a very fast pace and he seems to be looking for you Chelsea." Mason says weirded out and when I look behind me, Jenson is coming towards us.

"Besides Lewis, Max and Fernando this weekend, you will have the honor of meeting another Formula One champion, Jenson Button. 2009 world drivers champion with none other than Brawn GP. Their first and last champion." I say as I welcome Jenson into the conversation before he gets to say anything that will expose the both of us.

"Hello boys, very nice to meet you, I am Jenson." Jenson shakes both Mason's and Ben's hands, looking more intensely at Ben although thank god he doesn't notice.

"Would you mind if I took Chelsea away from a moment. Won't be too long." Jenson asks kindly even though he doesn't wait for a reply from either of the three of us.

He grabs my hand and take us a few steps away from the two footballers but in a distance they can't hear us. He looks very pissed and jealous like I have never seen him before.

"Already ignoring me and you haven't even let yet huh?"

"Jenson, I don't have time for this, I am working. I need to show the guests around. I will be back soon."

"You really can't tell that this Ben guy is hitting on you? He's so focused on whatever you're saying that he's almost hanging from your lips."

"He is interested in what I am saying because he wants to learn more about the sport. He is a fan. Can you stop acting like a paranoid man?"

"I'm not. He clearly has the hots for you and I can't look at the two of you. I am sorry, but you're my girl and if he dares to make a move I will make sure he never plays football again."

"You said it yourself, I am your girl. You have nothing to worry about. Do you trust me? Hey, look at me." I say, holding his hand secretly, caressing it softly, wanting to calm him down.

"I do, I just-uh, I am sorry Chels. I don't know what has gotten into me. I know you are loyal. You are the sweetest woman on the planet. I trust you blindly. It's those boys I can't trust." Jenson's voice has gone softer and quieter thankfully.

"I will prove later to you how much you mean to me and how much I want you to trust me. For now be patient. The tour will be over and once it is I will come and find you, deal?" I give him a puppy eyes look and immediately a smile is formed on his lips.

"Okay. I will leave you to your peace. Let me know when you're coming baby. See you soon" He knows he can't kiss me in public eye so he just holds onto my hand one last time.

Oh dear, what am I getting myself into?

[synonymouswithanonymous]

lol repost! And question answered!

ask: he's a taurus and she's a cancer. Talk about trying to use anything to fit their agenda. Lol literally, literally every thing on Google says they are an ideal match. I just randomly googled it bc someone asked if I thought there was any merit to some persons claims. So google provided me with the answer. No matter what they're a "perfect match" "ideal match" and "for life" or "life long partners". "Once Taurus declares he's in it, he's all in for life, especially when paired with cancer". So hey that's cool. 😊😊 I don't go much in for astrology but anyway that's my answer to the question I was asked. They didn't want their name out so I just decided to answer it here without their full question. 😊😊 but also he's born in the year of the dog, so it says he'd be loyal. So good luck to the happy couple.

"Chinese astrology for them says: Dogs and Pigs make an excellent couple and can love each other more than other Chinese zodiac signs. Pigs come to the rescue if Dogs become gloomy or grumpy by cracking a good joke. Thus Pig Dog Compatibility is great. If anyone mistreats the Pig, the Dog partner would not hesitate to retaliate."

Also apparently unless you know the EXACT time someone was born, like 2pm and the full date you can't accurately chart anyone. In western astrology don't know about Chinese. So without that information I can't even ask a site to do it for me. Bc I don't have access to those birth/medical records (And rightly so, records are private) . 😊 I hope I answered your question.

That was my first question! any others I will just answer the question without the text, so long as you say 'don't put my name' on there'. I'm guessing bc of harassment maybe? Whatever the reason is cool by me. 😊😊 or if you want your handle out there let me know!

Edited to add this quote I forgot about the birth times.

Do you need exact time of birth for astrology?

"But keep in mind that the birth chart is an extremely sensitive diagram that requires accurate data. In fact, the birth chart shifts radically every four minutes (more on that later), which is why it's critical to have a precise time of birth — approximates or estimates can (and will) skew the results." 😊😊😊

Anyways good luck again to the "ideal match."😃😊😊

LOL

"Her fans wouldn't be so serious about pushing they are Happy."

The very few positive posts pales in comparison to the hundreds and hundreds of posts spewing negativity and hate. Who are these people trying to convince? Themselves? How are a few posts about a happy couple "pushing" an opinion. It seems like people are just daily, repeating the same old "she's evil" and he "looks bad" posts. I wonder who really has an agenda? Lol imo he looks great and so does she, he looks better than he used to look (2020-2022).

So let me get this straight, this is an actor none of us know personally. None of us know his mind, and some are stuck on what he said about privacy awhile back. But none of us get to determine what privacy means to him. No one but him has control over what privacy means to him, same for her.

Some think her friends are kiss ass narcissistic creepy people that are weird.  No evidence though, just their take/read on them by a "gut" feeling.

Some think his friends that like her are all weird ( line, her husband, magnus, Johannes, Fanny etc etc) and theyre toxic ass kissers that put pressure on him. No evidence though, just their take/read on them by a "gut" feeling.

Some think his mom is toxic, ass kissing, and putting pressure on him. No evidence though, just their take/read on her by their "gut" feeling. Edited: I'm just pointing out how I find this illogical. Using gut feelings as a legit argument for their opinions, bc some have really convinced themselves with this. It's good to check your gut when going into a room, or the vibe you get in person when you meet them in real life. But to take instagram, not in person contact that way, is irrational imo. Then there's the ones that just like to be haters to him, her or both. I mean hell, they tried to say ladybug on her hand video, was her flipping off his fans. Irrational.

If their gut is telling them everyone else is wrong or crepy, weird toxic, and etc then I'm going to question just how good their gut can gage reality. It doesn't make sense that a stranger would be more correct, than all the people that actually know her.

A few people think the GF is toxic and a manipulating woman bc she accidently posted a drunk video while she herself was drunk. Accidents happen. It was up and down real quick, those that kept posting the mistake are imo more disrespectful. But they wanted to get that "gotcha moment" to Lord it over her.

And that she didn't respect the privacy rules for him. That's the relationship rules they made up for FOR THEM based on something he said ages ago.😂😂😂😂 we can't read his mind, rules made up by "fans" don't apply. Sure disagree with it, but why is she getting a bitch edit for living her life the way she sees fit?

Seriously how's she's supposed to know she's breaking a strangers rules and guidelines for dating her OWN BF?  Surely she knows her own life better than them.

As if and he and his friends never posted drunk videos before? Or him hooked up to an IV drugged before? Or posted and deleted something he didn't mean to publish before, like his mail. Lol

I'm glad everyone else was born perfect and Never made a post by accident. I'm not perfect I don't expect others to be perfect.

Someone said the other day "you don't give a shit about him" well that's partly true bc although I like him, good actor and good looking, I wish him the best, trust his judgement when it comes to his life and love. But that doesn't mean I care for him in a real way bc he is a person I only know through social media and tv/films.  Never talked to him, never met him, never commented on his posts etc.  I know the character Ivar better than I would know him lol. You can't truly care for people you don't know. And you'll never convince me that you care for someone you don't know, more than their own family, friends, or GF.  She's just living her life, dating an actor as an actress herself, doing normal couple things. And they both look happy and adorable to me. 😊😊

"Haters will see you walk on water, and say it's bc you can't swim."

And apparently disagreeing politely (when directly addressed in comments after I reblogged a post) without insults and being nice is argumentative. I was called a "leech licker" "stan", and a "troll". I was "pushing an opinion". 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 at least I don't hurl personal insults like they did to me. And these are the people who claim to "hate bullies." 😂😂

Positive comment won't be posted, or very rarely, only one of mine ages ago. So much for welcoming all opinions, they blame it on tumblr. Used to be like, ok, tumblers at fault but now I've revised my opinion after the aforementioned behavior.

So I decided to post all of my opinions here. 😊😊

I doubt anyone will ever read this, but I don't expect it to be read either. Just want to say, what I want to say. 😁😁😁😁😁😁

[biggayprincess]

Since it's gonna be disability pride, I think it's important for us to open up a bit about what makes someone disabled and why it's such a large spectrum.

Personally, I have a jumped facet joint in my neck. If you Google it, you'll see some gnarly MRI imaging. Essentially, it means that a part of my neck joint is moved in an unnatural way, and it is essentially crushing the nerves on the left side of my neck. I have pain 24/7, and I take a concoction of medications to dull the pain.

The only "cure" is surgery, but the surgery only has a small chance of actually working, and will most definitely cause me to have spinal surgeries through out my life. Because of this, I have elected to not go through with it and instead apply to disability benefits here in the US.

However, it is not visible outside of an MRI scan. It can be felt, but even then, people can't tell unless they're a professional.

Much of the time, when I'm explaining it to family or strangers, I get many remarks about how it's not that bad, about how you're not that disabled, about how "you seem to get around just fine to me," about how you should work through the pain because everyone has a little bit of pain. I am unable to work more than 4 hours without experiencing pain so bad I become nauceas, dizzy, and it can escalate to muscle pain and migraines. The only way to treat it is to recline.

I just wanna kinda say: just because it's not visible doesn't make me, or anyone else, less disabled. People and doctors and family are going to try to mitigate it, but chronic pain is DEBILITATING in a way that is hard to describe. You're used to it and effected by it literally every moment, and you've forgotten what it's like to be pain free. It's a life I wouldn't wish on anyone.

So if you're not disabled, please keep this in mind and never try to dismiss someone's daily struggles. And if you have a disability, please don't try to play pain Olympics. Suffering is suffering, we all suffer in different ways.

And if you don't think of yourself as suffering, I hope your days are wonderful and pain free, both physically and mentally. To everyone with an invisible disability, whether it be heart issues or arthritis or mental illness, please know that you aren't any less disabled just because you don't move with a mobility aid or have a limb missing.

I've seen people on here (and on Twitter ofc) be absolutely cruel and unempathetic to those who are struggling. I've been talked down to and people still try to convince me it's not that bad. But it is: it is for me, and it is for you, too.

There is nothing wrong with admitting something is difficult or painful, regardless of what it is. Take good care of yourself, be your own advocate, and fight for yourself and your right to exist.

[defsoullr]

i wanna post but idk what to post so i will make a compilation of my recent Thoughts

people never follow my advice so i may as well stop giving any.

seriously i need to be paid for the amount of advice i try to give (that people dont even FOLLOW)

if it hasn't been done yet, an app made for writing that works like whatsapp would actually be good. sort of mirroring that feeling when you're roleplaying or simply delivering crazy stories to your friend. each new text is a story part. this may encourage me to write more since i'm breaking it up into less daunting, smaller texts. i'm even considering making a groupchat with just myself so i can really give it a try. the only problem is that i wouldn't be able to edit the previous texts i sent.

the day i learned about that one book that's designed to make you fall asleep- it's an entire- thick- book that is sold to make you sleep. it has a page full of words about sleep and their definitions, a page full of swirling text that makes your eyes tired- it's full of good stuff. now, some perspective comes in right here: to be honest, this is so far from what i get in mind when i think about publishing a book. but, like, it is a book. a book is not just a story, not just a study- it can be that simple, it can be about anything, i can write about anything. relevance is so wildly subjective... on that note, it is simply cruel to sit here and think to myself "i'd love to publish a book but i probably can't because it takes too much time." because that's a bit of a restrictive way of thinking, isn't it? a book can be anything, really. lighten up on that regard.

geniuses are severely outnumbered by regular people, and this keeps me up at night. if this world is being managed by anyone, i'd like the geniuses to be doing it. not the oligarchical power monopolies claiming to be something else (democracy... totally "elected" by democracy).

everything going on inside my head is true- just, at different time intervals. love life, peace all around, chaotic absurdism? yes, when i'm on That Phase of my cycle. everything is wrong, we need to burn society and rebuild it, i wanna run off into the woods? also yes, when i'm on That Other Phase of my cycle. i'm not either of these ideologies, i have both of them within me. not all answers need to be clear and easy.

i constantly get this ridiculous craving where i want to have 20 years of experience in something but i'm not even 20 yet.

every bad outcome starts with a habit, and i could be forming one of those habits at any given day. for something like excessive depression, weight or overall health issues- any day could be my day 1. looming anxiety and fear...

but also, every good outcome starts with a habit! today could be the day 1 of something i'll be so grateful for in the future. it's all good! here comes the train of optimism and hope

now why is there a rise in... anti intellectualism. i just can't stand the suddenly common distaste over long text. how about we start treating academics a little better? what is with this surge of people saying they hate reading long text, hate reading anything at all, hate deeper dives into any concept ever; how are people confidently- with their whole chest- saying that they hate intellectual conversations? why is being (proudly) dumb becoming a... a trend? an actual trend? it even has a name! what i said in the beginning, anti intellectualism, is what it is called- it's relevant enough to be named! oh DEAR i am losing my marbles

yes i had to open google translate a couple of times while typing this thread because english sure is a language, and i also had the dictionary open because i don't trust my brain sometimes. it's usually saying things. i'd like to spew minimum nonsense if i can

i wonder how many rants i have in me in this given moment. ngl, 12 is an impressive number. not impressive if we consider the amount of argumentative thoughts i actually have on a daily basis, but impressive considering how forgetful i can be.

i think this is a good number to finish on. also, i am starting another busy period in college tomorrow and i am super not ready. i need to pull out an actual journal and write some stuff just to ease my nerves. find solid ground again, because i feel like i'm just drifting to places at this point. let's not let life run its course, or at least pretend to intervene, because i need to feel in control again. having some faint idea on how the next week will look like, definitely helps.

won't read and edit this lol, imagine actually reading this again. i ain't reading all that (!)

[collectivecloseness]

Actually yk what, I just googled some stuff, so spree isn't a 100% copy of what happened but just loosely based on a dude, bc I was confused on how you would do a prequel to the movie bc you'd have to go strictly after what he says in the videos bc you can't just ask a Dead dude what he did before that(also the guy is in fact not dead, he's in prison) but yeah anyways they could actually go nuts with what happened before the spree but that would probably not be a good idea, like you can't just go and make a movie about a guy going on a killing spree(which is based on someone irl) and then see that people loved it and do another one of him just being silly(like the side eyes they'd get, especially from the people on twitter, like they'd get pulverised)

Anyways, sorry if I came of as rude in the last ask, I don't really know how but ywah anyways I just sound like that i guess, but it really was just like a question I guess?

Also, I'm highly scared now that I sounded rude again bc I really didn't mean to be and it eating me alive rn

Yeah Spree is based on a bunch of different stuff, and of course original content, but they’d never base it on just one actual murderer and case, and then make a fun film about it, no one would want that.

Like I was seeing multiple parallels to things when I first watched, and I even saw something literally two days ago where the comments were like oh I wonder if this partly inspired Spree (nothing murder related though). It’s just like any piece of media that’s trying to say something, it’ll be based on a lot of past things including tragedies. Like part of the films message is hey fame and parasocial relationships aren’t everything, and people can lose their humanity chasing clout, and don’t be a fame hungry loser like this guy who’s going on a suicide mission and to hurt a bunch of people only to still crave the people calling him slurs and derogatory things because they’re still numbers. He is a loser. Don’t be him y’all. Anything with a societal message will have even light bases from actual tragedies. Like there’s no telling a story saying ‘hey society’s fucked up rn’ without society having been fucked up in that way in the past. With so many examples it’s not at all hard to pinpoint exactly who Kurt is as a character straight away, and what the films message is.

There’s a bunch of things you could do for a prequel. Kurt Kunkle isn’t based on anyone specifically. He’s his own character. If you wanted to do a prequel about him being an awkward loser and trying to get famous, showing his life and how he got to the point he was in Spree, maybe including a killing or two in his backstory, or showing some of his dark side coming out before his planned spree killing, expanding his character, and showing how he inevitably got to the point of being a monster and dead, you could easily do something like that. I think any plot most people would be happy with, because a lot of fans would just love to see Joe Keery reprise his role as Kurt Kunkle again no matter what. You could literally throw Joe Keery into a room and tell him to do Kurt and it would be a masterpiece, because he’s so good at the character, and a lot of it is his own, and people love the film for that.

You’re supposed to like Kurt. Not agree with what he’s doing, but even a little, especially before the end where he’s become/revealed to be more dark and monstrous and consumed by his need for fame, you are meant to like his character. Which is why they start off with him killing a white supremacist as well, but not before he tells him off. That’s why they got Joe Keery, who’s very well liked, to play him, and why he’s such a magnetic and good character, and why he’s the protagonist of the film. Like almost everything is from his POV, he’s narrating to the audience, you get his backstory (inc in a draw my life), you’re supposed to be rooting for him and also the victims bc he’s like an anti-hero/villain protag, and that’s how those characters work.

Also, the film is a fun film, it’s a popcorn film, you’re supposed to enjoy it, and at least somewhat like the main character who the film pretty much entirely relies on to be a good film, considering how the protag is the focus of pretty much every single scene, and there’s few recurring characters/ones with substance apart from him. Not enjoy his actions, but him as a character, not necessarily a person. There’s a massive difference between a character and a person. But give the person enough traits likeable to an audience as well, because you need that for a protag. Of course you like Kurt a bit. I mean irl you don’t agree with all his crimes you commit, but you might think of him as your silly and skrunkly blorbo that you want to look at fics about to experience more of his character.

Films are supposed to be enjoyed. And again, it’s not based on just one real life murderer. If people enjoy your film so much they wanted a sequel that is not a bad thing. It’s a fun film, with a fun protag, and the first one wouldn’t have been made if it was solely based on one real life event only, and wouldn’t have been made in a more lighthearted way. So a sequel would be no different. If it had been making light of just one real life murderer as it’s only source material, people would already be in uproar on the first film, never mind a conceptualised sequel, but it’s not.

That’s okay, thank you, I’m glad there was no hard feelings or anything. I just haven’t gotten hate on this account yet so we’re not about to start lmao. I’m glad there was no ill intent, so don’t worry about it kay? No harm done :) I promise I’m actually nice and you don’t need to be afraid to ask questions haha, I was just worried there was some passive aggressiveness there, but I’m glad it’s all been cleared up, we’re good dw <3

[lisxdumbr]

HI LIS. I am back (to check on your reply). HELLO. You are so sweet. Am crying. <3

I didn't knew about what they called those flowers until you told me and it's called like gold marigolds according to Google, but I have to be honest that your local term is much more.. fancy sounding to me! They're SOOO pretty, thank you for informing me!! Another one, just found out that there's a name for the face paints too (catrina/catrin) 😭 You're educating me, thank you so much <3

To me, having theme phases is already amazing, it takes lots of work and energy to make an aesthetic theme !! Letting you know that I'd support your plans. It's wonderful already <3

Take this as a reassurance (or not), I dropped in your inbox to help out, brainstorm, and suggest whatever came into my mind with hopes it could aid you in your theme trouble in anyway. So if you're thinking about me approving the theme you're working on, rest easy!! It's already approved from the start. This is for yourself in the first place, and think of it not as a project passable by others to be okay but for yourself!! <33 You working on it is great already, I can't say anything less. AND I'D BE PROUD OF YOU !! If you can see this, you deserve the world. Please remember that <3 (*´∇`*)♡

I don't know about the big brain part, when I'm literally talking to a big brain person too !! Sobs. You'd make my day already, even if you just simply exist,, <3

Wait.,, Almost forgot!! I'd rather not use "theme anon" as the permanent name of course,, How about you give me any emoji? (except the insect ones fkdjdjdhsj) :D Please name me~ I wonder what emoji will be bestowed upon me ♪

Anyways that's all !!! Waahh,, every message that I'd send to people turns into a ramble.. or a victorian maiden's letter to their beloved husband in war... May this letter bring even a bit of light and joy to you~

ANON YOU'RE SO !!!!!!!!! I'm so glad to see you around again <3 you're so kind, I didn't expect anyone to actually help me when I initially made my post. You're truly big brain for that analysis

I'm so glad you're discovering new things wahh,, I hate this country but there are certain things that I do enjoy, specifically the culture, I go BRRRR when people ask me about it. (You're so sweet for that encouragement :( right now I left the mayoi theme aside for a bit and I'm more focused on using sweets box cards 👀)

I NEED A NAME FOR YOU HMMM I want to give you the prettiest emoji ever but I've no idea,,, what if I give you a flower? You could be sunflower anon 🌻 you irradiate that sunny vibe, but I don't know if you'd like it,, let me know !!

You're just like me, writing and writing and not being able to stop despite trying to be concise and to the point,, your letter brought me a lot of joy indeed. I hope you have a good day !

[faintedincoils]

I've read a lot of tweets, Tumblr posts, and think pieces about AI generated art here lately. People have raised all sorts of interesting points but I haven't really seen anyone talk about how AI generated art can open up the world for people with aphantasia.

So here's the thing. I know what cats look like. I know what green and purple look like. I know what polka dots look like. My aphantasia is total in that I cannot picture any of these things in my mind--no, not even colors. And I certainly cannot picture a green cat with purple polka dots.

Statistically speaking, the vast majority of the people reading this can picture things in their mind. Which means that even if you've never seen a depiction of a green cat with purple polka dots, you can probably see it in your head, right? But me? I've never seen a green cat with purple polka dots. I tried googling the phrase just to see what would happen, and at least in the first couple of pages of results, I couldn't actually find a picture of a green cat with purple polka dots. And like I said, I can't picture it myself. So if I want to know what it would look like, up until now my options would pretty much have been to either grab a coloring book and make it happen, or get someone else to create an artistic representation for me. If I don't do either of those things, I'm just never going to know what this hypothetical cat would look like.

But if I can ever get added to the waitlist for Dall-E 2 or a similar program, I could change that. I could even specify that I want to see a realistic cat. Or say that I want a pastel green cat with dark purple polka dots. And an AI art program could show me that.

And I can do that with pretty much anything. And I'm not exaggerating when I say that when I think about that, I start crying.

When I was a little kid I used to daydream about someone one day creating some sort of a machine that could give you pictures inside your brain. I could never figure out why not only was there not such a thing, but nobody besides me seem to have even thought of it. People had all sorts of wild ideas about contraptions they could make, but being able to see things in your mind was an important enough to anyone else to make it happen?

I was in my mid thirties when I found out the reason why. What I have dreamed of my entire life is apparently a built-in feature for pretty much everyone else in the world. Which means no one is ever going to make a machine that will let me see things in my head. I'm just out of luck, and I've been trying really hard to get myself to accept that.

So with the sudden boom of AI generated art over the past few months, lots of people see a threat or a controversy.

All I can see is possibility and hope and wonder. All I can see is my eternal dream coming into existence, or at least as close as it's ever going to happen.

I'm crying now just typing all of this up. And it hasn't even become a reality for me yet, because I don't have access to any of the programs good enough to create representations of what I ask that don't trigger the uncanny valley for me. But in the next year or two maybe I can. I don't even care how much I have to pay for it. I've been waiting for this chance my whole entire life.

So I'm sure that people have really good reasons to protest or worry about AI generated art. But I am honestly so scared that those protests are going to shut it down before I ever even have my chance with it.

Sorry, I know this is a long post. And who knows if anyone will even read it. But I've been thinking about this an awful lot lately, and I just wanted to put it out there in the world.

[ms-demeanor]

Since you're on the anti-vax debunking train, have you looking into "Dr." Pam Popper at all? I'm trying to do research on her bc her rhetoric has totally twisted the perceptions of someone I love, but I'm not finding much. I can't even tell if she's an actual doctor or not, just that she calls herself one.

JUST FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES I’m going to show y’all the basic way I do fact checking on things like this

Step One: who is this person and what are their claims

This is Pam Popper, she is claiming to be a naturopath and a doctor. This interview claims that she is a PhD and an ND.

Step Two: Investigating those claims

ND, or Naturopathic Doctor, is not a protected term the same way that MD is a protected term in most places.

By searching “Requirements for Naturopathic doctors in Ohio” I found that the state of Ohio, where Pam Popper practices, does not license naturopaths.

There is a voluntary professional organization of naturopaths in Ohio that requires members to have a 4-year degree and to pass state medical exams. It has 38 members listed and Pam Popper is not one of them.

Well, that’s that for Naturopath. So far as her state’s professional organization is concerned, she isn’t one, and the state doesn’t license them.

So what about PhD? You can have a PhD in lots of things, we call Dr. Phil “Doctor” for his PhD in English, it’s a gimme - let’s find out what’s up with Dr. Popper’s PhD.

It’s surprisingly hard to find out what’s up with her from the expected sources. Most people with PhDs won’t shut up about where they got them from (with good reason! Shit’s hard!) and will ABSOLUTELY put the name of the institution that granted their degree in their about page. Hell, most doctors display their diplomas in their offices. It’s totally standard doctor flex.

But everywhere you read about her she REALLY wants you to know that she taught part of an online certification course (you do not have to be a professor, trained educator, or expert of any kind to be hired to teach a certification course) and she was totally in Forks over Knives you guys.

So okay, you search “Pam Popper education” and you get a ton of results that are copy/pastes of her bio from her website, but one is SLIGHTLY different and says that she "[got] a Master’s degree and PhD in nutrition in her late 30’s.” That’s good to know! Very good to know! According to IMDB (and you can trust that, because she REALLY wants you to know she was in Forks over Knives) Popper was born in 1956, which means she’s 65. Okay. So, let’s *generously* assume that late thirties means 40, so she got her degree in 1996. Keep that number in mind.

Duck Duck Go isn’t turning up a TON of what I’m looking for, so I switch over to google and google sucks but it DOES make good suggestions sometimes, because that’s how I find this:

A 2001 article in which Popper is interviewed about the regulations impacting health food stores where she told the journalist where she got her degree.

Okay, so what’s the Clayton College of Natural Health?

Well, first of all, it’s shut down. So that’s a good sign. Still got that number 1996 in your head?

It’s important. It’s important because there’s a pretty significant difference between a correspondence school and online learning. Correspondence schools may have you turn in papers, they may have you take tests, they may have you make a phone call to the professor, but they were not proctored and there was essentially no way to guarantee that the student turning in the course work was the student doing the course work. Which is COMPLETELY aside from the fact that many correspondence schools granted degrees for just returning a completed worksheet.

Okay, so with that in mind, here’s what Clayton College offered for their online classes in 2001:

And here’s what the school’s website looked like in 1997:

And just for further shits and giggles here’s the reading list for the course on pediatric nutrition:

What is the ABSOLUTE LATEST that Dr. Popper could have gotten her degree from this institution if she got it in her late thirties? 1996. Credible, reliable distance education was not really available in the mid nineties. Dr. Popper paid for a diploma from a notorious quack diploma mill that was shut down by the state of Alabama because it couldn’t pass muster for accreditation even in the 2010s. The “school’s” writing lab was a recommendation to buy Strunk & White and a link to the writing labs for two real schools.

And now that I’ve shown THAT here are two sources that the alt-med community will claim are biased against them: A huffpo writeup of why the school shut down and the quackwatch profile of CCNH.

The Wikipedia page on it is pretty succinct:

The Clayton College of Natural Health is a giant piece of shit and it’s no wonder Popper doesn’t want to show you her diploma, she has NONE of the qualifications that you should expect from a doctor.

Step Three: Analysis and Synthesis

I am a skeptical cynic, so this is enough information for me. Popper’s first claim about herself is that she’s a Doctor and a Naturopath. Neither of those things are true, so there’s a pretty decent chance that the rest of the things she claims aren’t true either. She used to discuss going to an unaccredited quack school but has stopped talking about it since the school got shut down, and she’s not part of the professional organization for her profession in her state. She doesn’t have any kind of medical background and is a tremendously unreliable source for medical information.

If I were speaking to someone who is more into alt-med and woo stuff I would point out that Ohio DOES have an organization of practicing naturopaths that Popper is unqualified to join and she received her diploma from a ‘school’ that was actively adversarial to the idea of requiring board certification for naturopaths and that she now runs a very similar bullshit correspondence school.

Look at what great things you can learn in just eight weeks for seven hundred dollars plus registration fees plus application fees plus certification fees:

haha, oh shit dudes, I clicked to view the “application” to Pam Popper’s school and got this:

This is clearly an up-to-date, on-the-level institution. Also it costs a hundred dollars to submit an application and they want you to do it by mail.

Wait, I’m supposed to be analyzing and synthesizing here.

My analysis: Popper is full of shit

What you should take away from this conversation: People who don’t want to tell you where they got their degrees or what their degrees are in are extremely suspicious; people who tell you that they got their degrees at Clayton College of Natural Health don’t have real degrees; most people don’t understand the difference between naturopath (unprotected term in many places that may or may not require passing boards), osteopath (DO; someone who passes boards and is a doctor), MD (someone who passes boards and is a doctor), nutritionist (unprotected term, in many places anyone can claim to be a nutritionist with no qualifications), and dietician (protected term, this person had to get a degree in food) and we as a society don’t do a good job of explaining that.