#for context and bc I am venting
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
If you dial 1-866-584-6757, you can leave an audio post for your followers.
Text
No Use Crying Over Spilt... Mice...
Even Though You Really Want To
Not Like You Can Return Them Anyways
#vent tag#oc: bean#sona tag#for context and bc I am venting#it's been a not great week and I was waiting all day yesterday for a delivery of feeder mice for my snakes#bc the usual place we get them the smallest size of mouse is just a bit too big for my younger snake#so we ordered online and they arrived today but they're PINKIES so they're far too small for her#and you can't return feeder animals so I got a bunch of hairless baby mice in my freezer#yes sure she can eat them but like the whole point was to get a suitable size#and I'm just really frustrated bc I needed to get my meds yesterday but I couldn't leave bc I didn't know when they were arriving#and some rando was asking me to draw for them#and like I can't even draw for myself right now what makes you think I'm gonna draw for someone who can't even say please#and is probably talking to the character and not the actual artist who draws all the stuff (bc this was sent to Pep's blog)#unless they are talking to me and then it's condescending as hell#I wanna answer but I know I'm gonna be a dick about it hence why I am venting here#and I still gotta go get my meds but it's too late now!!!#why is it that I always get the most horrendous depression right before my birthday good god#I need a cigarette or something fuckin hell#I don't smoke but baby need to do a substance abuse#anyway BYE
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
Saw a very stupid take by someone who Clearly does not understand the context of which some tropes came about and I am being So Brave about it
#vent#wholly unrelated to my post from last night or the rb i just did#but. Holy Fuck#if you haven't studied folklore and its origins#then mayhaps don't go saying that it doesn't have connotations? when folklore doesn't come out of nowhere#and often represents societal biases#ANYWAYS. lmao#i barely slept last night and i am Cranky#and to add i don't mean modern interpretations are always good bc they often aren't and often are ALSO too divorced of context from#the original Point. but like. that doesn't mean that their shit point is THE point#pls go read up on how these things came to be before you go telling on yourself that you haven't by acting#like shitty modern takes ALSO divorced from context ARE the context lmfao
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ohhh my god period cramps turn me into a whole new man. Im fighting out here full ibuprofen dose worst headache of my life cramps only slightly dampened i wish i had money i wish i was in the body i need to be in but its unattainable so im stuck in a cyclical, unpredictable, exhausting hell of menstruation
#vent#sorry chat im fighting for my life#i am going to be honest for the procedures i want id have to lose weight and manage my eating better#and id need so much money and so many referrals#i dont think ill ever get it. i dont think ots worth doing anything but dreaming#but i want hysto and an oophprectomy. and i want meta with scrotoplasty and urethral lengthening#and maybe monsplasty but honestly i do not mind that much ive always been a tiny hidden dick soldier#but then i would need to deal w my chest at some point. people usually get top then bottom but like#top surgery is for others perception of me. bottom would be for me and me alone#gah ive just been feeling so dysphoric lately and my periods making it so much worse emotionally and physically#every cramp reminds me that my body isnt my own to modify at my will. im stuck like this#aaughhhhh and i keeo reading that hysto/oopho will help yoir hormone levels too#i hatw that i need to take birth control too btw bc even if it helps immensly its just more estrogen in me#im never gonna stop looking like a girl. ill just become progressively 'uglier' girls until i die#to anyone who sees me out of context im just a girl and its so frustrating
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
thinking about the fact that on st patricks day one of the ppl i was drinking with (who is Irish American diaspora) raised his glass and said "fuck the ira" as a cheers and I still don't know what possessed him to bring that up out of nowhere cause we literally were not talking about it even a little
#also like idk man theres so much nuance there why would you say that as a toast im so confused#like. yeah. its fuck a lot of ppl around here. but im sure not gonna cheers to that#also. im very much not educated on the troubles i have some general knowledge and some second hand stories from ppl who lived#*grew up in the 80s and 90s there#in northern ireland in the 90s but im personally not someone who defaults to “fuck the marginalized group whos fighting back”#without any other context or conversation. idk man it just threw me for such a loop and tbh this is mostly just me coping#bc i responded weird and am now ruminating on it but yeah#vent#vent post
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
im gonna lose my mind if i don’t talk about this with someone x_x
#like i need an objective 3rd party opinion bc . what the hell am i supposed to dooooooooooo#do u guys think it’s ok to text a friend you don’t talk to a lot anymore your problems or does that make me a selfish asshole#for context she’s my online friend that i met so long ago but we still keep in touch sometimes and wish each other happy birthdays#ugh idk im scared she’ll think i only remembered to text her bc i need to vent :( i don’t want her to think that.. im just bad at keeping in#touch with people#but ik her and ik she’ll listen to me bc she’s so nice and lovelybut like i don’t wanna be insensitive or something:(#idk……. i feel like i genuinely don’t know who else to talk to… i can’t tell my best friend bc of Reasons so she’s out of the question#will probably overthink this all night <3 لازم اصلي استخارة
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
context: I am have a bad week, I am very put upon and angry and not white. When I feel this way I listen to music to fix myself. I tried Mountain Goats, I tried the Centaur World soundtrack, I tried many many musicals. I saw that Hozier dropped a new album the day I super needed it, listened to half then got in the car to drive to a state park to go on walks bc that’s the other thing that fixes me. The thing that was getting me specifically as I drove while listening to Hozier was the fact that a “Lake Oswego” exists in OREGON. Further rage inducing context: that’s an Iroquoian word. The Haudenosaunee live (for the most part, historically and contemporarily) on the opposite coast of Turtle Island. White men named the place after a different place without understanding or appreciating the name a land based people gave their land. And then made it a sundown town. They took the Haud name and then did violence to Black ppl about it. People call Lake Oswego “Lake No Negro”.
Please try to even roughly conceptualize how insane that makes me. I can’t describe the anger.
And then I listened to Butchered Tongue and it gave me the exact inverted emotion.
#Hozier#vent post#butchered tongue#//more more context: I use Iroquoian to refer to the language family bc the word Oswego is based on exists in many of the languages#//and from an internet search I cannot figure out if it is solely kanienkaha or onondaga or etc#//I use Haudenosaunee to refer to the peoples that speak the languages from the language family bc that is what I understand they prefer#//living here is detrimental to my mental health#//I am not Haud just born in Oneonta (AH A Kanienkaha place name! “Valley of the Standing Rocks” btw) ie Kanienkahaka land#//if you - stranger on the internet - want to know more about my land based identities - you CAN ask - and I WILL traumadump on you#And I say again#Thanks Hozier
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
being taken off my fibro meds has my pain coming back pretty fucking hard. and while id make the choice a thousand times over because id rather be in pain than dead, i do miss being able to crochet without these sharp shooting pains in my fingers
#tldr is that my meds were causing tachycardia#which was bad and would have been way worse long term but not bad enough to notice#until the sepsis happened and really exacerbated the issue to a noticable problem#im on heart meds and titrating off the fibro meds. last dose is tomorrow actually.#so yknow. for context.#vent#chronic pain#chronic illness#god it feels like my hands are being electrocuted at random time intervals and i would like it very much to stop#bc i am not going to stop making a toy for ny kiddo no sir#mama didn't raise no quitter#but she did raise a stubborn dumbass
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
when things get green I gotta visit the park or take a bus somewhere I swear...
#looking through old pics#there was so much. life. back home#if I ever make it back to BC with my friends in tow I will be eternally fucking grateful#I'd share some of them but they feel too personal#the pacific northwest is forever part of what I am and will never leave me#and constantly I'm so starved of what I once had#its too dry and asphalt and concrete and city city city all the time#there are nice places like the park. but it's so small and confined#it isn't even a shred like home#just idly venting here which isn't great but agghh I need to make more woods and mountain and water art or I'll be very sick#sleep rambles#context I moved to toronto and it was the right call for my mental health but i had to leave my whole world behind
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
i keep thinking a lot about a specific uquiz i did a while ago, asking something about the lines of 'from which emotion do you create' and i feel like this quiz was the most accurate i ever took because my result was reverence. and like. yeah of course all of these quizzes are for entertainment and for people to have fun with them and go oH tHat'S sO mE but. sue me, that one was correct. reverence does greatly spill into all areas of my life, not just creation and creativity. this will sound cringe but every time my job gets frustrating or stressful i remind myself that i do it for the people and that's why it's important. i try to consciously admire people and see the good in them and in everything around me. almost everything i do comes from a place of deep adoration and awe because that's how i want to see the world and yeah... calling it reverence rings true
#it's being pretentious and obnoxious on main hours bois. i'm having thoughts again#sometimes when someone gets on my nerves at work i joke under my breath#'i'm doing this for YOU. bc i love you. so appreciate it and now kindly get tf out of my sight'#you know what also excites me? devotion#you shall not get more context bc i can't put it into words yet#anyway. do with this what you want. am i doing poetry? is this a vent? am i psychoanalysing myself? decide for yourself#personal
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
its just not fair that my mom has to be completely dependent on me 100% when im barely 20 years old
#vent in the tags if u dont wanan read#its not FAIRRRR dude#for context my mom has literally never had a job. ever in her life. she met my dad shortly after hs and she was completely dependent on him#now hes gone and she has literally nothing to her name (my dad didnt have a lot put away) so now shes dependent on me n my brother#but its just not fair bc she had literally 30 years to get her life together and she just??? chose not to???#now suddenly im responsible for all her bad decisions while she gets to coast her way through life like she ALWAYS HAS???#she wasnt even a good mother to me yet i gotta bend over backwards to accommodate to her feelings???#we've gotten into so many arguments about this and shes always like 'ur making me feel guilty :(' YOU SHOULD BE!!!!#it just baffles me that she HAD so so so many opportunities to get her shit together and she just never ever took them#how is she not embarrassed#and shes constantly calling me lazy...mf i am a full time college student and work 30+ hours a week to pay YOUR BILLS#i dont even know what to do bc we have an actively bad relationship but i dont wanna throw her out
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
😵💫😵💫😵💫
These sobs really limited my tags?????
I have so many more thoughts this is so so much less than 1/2. Broski. Big dislike
#its ‘i watched a tv show and i need to talk about it in the tags of this site im not on anymore’ time#ty to the void for always accepting my thoughts <3#so honestly its just me thinking about the andromeda tv show. i just finished it and it left me destitute bc i clung onto the first 2 season#s as a basis and had ten thousand questions i *assumed* would be resolved. spoiler alert: they were nto#not*. and the coda addition helps but like. not enough. it explains some of the#oh fyi if anyone is reading or cared there will be spoilers#anyways it explained some of them ex for the cosmic engine bit. seemed pretty relevant and then was never mentioned again#i also MUCH prefer that version of trance — i had speculation she was a sun avatar which i took as confirmation when i finally noticed her#tattoo when harper used it to remind himself he put that data in the sun etc etc but i much prefer the sun-as-consciousness-astral-poject-#ing-slash-dreamjng-itself-a-body / being a little devil. i think that feels much more true to what we got in worldbuilding early on and tbh#the bar is on the floor bc any explanation would be better than what we got. also im sorry but s5 i trusted SO hard that that whole virgil#vox bit in the finale was insulting. couldnt even tie up the loose end you invented at the last minute????? MY god. i understand getting you#r budget halved but like. broski. it would have been better to ignore it at that point imo.#anywhoodle. i also have just ISSUES w the lack of resolution & not doing justice to literally any character#listen. why would you sink SO much effort into tyr just to have honestly what i feel is a disrespectful end to that character. like#tyr required me to do a LOT of thinking bc i sympathized with his position in exile etc while thinking also bro thats real fucked up. bro#stop thats fuckinng e*genics again dude. tbh with the entire species (im not looking up how to spell that rn) bc like the foundation of#their entire race is e*ugenics. (sorry censoring bc im in the tags just venting about tv) which obviously is a terrible idea but i think the#so it was like i am fundamentally against the concept but in show universe theg obviously did it etc but for me provided such a huge like#context to the universe. i fundamentally am not on board with all the commonwealth stuff like yeah i get it the magog are bad and scary but#like the neitzcheans (sp??? idc) are also Right There bein scary. then theres the ‘enhanced’ debate re dylan beka etc that like. is the same#but ‘’different’’ i guess. 🙄 anyways that is just to point out like. the level of thinking this show put me through just to blindside me w/#no resolution. i had SO much hope. tyr selling iut to the abyss is disrespectful to all of the established work the actor did for him and#to the character as well even if i think the ideology is icky. he was shown to be even less and less self-centric survival guy as it went on#and also tbh i didnt understand the him stealing his kids dna thing. i really thought that was gonna gi in a different less bs direction#okay also while im here can i just say. that tyr and dylan had THE most romantic tension to me. everyone else felt very friendshipy and i am#NOT one to usually fall into a ‘they obviously should be together’ pipeline that the writers dont make themselves. but the back and forth (#and intense eye contact) had me sitting there like. it was made in 2000 i know they wont do it but for not doing it they sure did! not that#i think they’d make a good couple (they would not) but that there was definitely something there on the dl you know? something more than#‘mutual respect’ you feel? and tbh! they also ruined the tyr beka thing by making her the matriarch. big ew huge ick.
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
anxiety plus migraine is the worst
#having this rn#context bcs i wanna#i have really bad liek paranoia n anxiety with darkness#somwtimes its okay#n usually its frine for sleep#but rn it is being a bitch#while i have a migraine#so i have to havenalll the light som#which is making jt worse#n i cant take anything to help with it bcs the advil is in my parents room n i knocked on their door for like 10 minutes trying to get some#n no one answered bcs its like 4am#basically everything is voing horribly n i am annoyed#vent#personal#replys ok
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i'm so
#mento eelness#venting in the tags a lil#i don't even know how to describe#agony#but at the same time numb#i want to run away but the way i run away in a dream#just getting away#no plan#no ending#endless running#none of this is about important stuff either just#i don't know how to describe#the agony of being misunderstood#i don't know how to properly communicate some things and it's horrible#things make such perfect sense in my mind that 1 i can't explain so that others understand#and 2 other people just don't think about things the way i do#and i don't know how to resolve that conflict#also i barely ate today#and i#don't think i really will#we don't have anything i really want to eat#and i have to take a shower#and go to bed#so i don't really have time#or the energy to do anything#i also very much am having the urge to throw things but i don't want to break anything#i need to find a physical activity to divert these destructive urges#also for context owners already asleep bc she has to get up at 4 am#so i'm on my own#woohoo
1 note
·
View note
Text
what if everyone was just nicer and more considerate when bringing up things that might upset me or make me uncomfortable or i have historically not wanted to talk about. and like what if you stopped and thought about how i would feel by focusing on everyone but me
#nia chats#rant#BLAGH!!!#'Have u said i love u to our parents yet / I have. ive said it on occasion now' Like Ok. thanks. what is your problem with me genuinely#'can u eat food. mom and dad keep asking me if you are okay' Im crazy depressed. but ok. thanks to all of u involved#dont get me going on my birthday. stupid idiot losers twenty first stupid loser birthday. im moving on.#“U saying u want to isolate sounds like U want to isolate from Me” '/joking around'#I know this is how u joke/keep things light and maybe i wouldve been chill about it any other time but like why would u say that right now#when a major point of the vent u saw was that I wish people would think abt what they said/did and how it might affect me#and how i was really upset about people making my feelings/situations about them.#and “so whats going on with you like whats happening here” ??? Why would you ask me that Like That. what am i supposed to fucking say 😭😭#like that was ur opener. im supposed to talk when ur gonna open like that and then jokingly make my depression isolation about u ???? ☹️☹️#its not as if i talk about it otherwise. or as if i think ive ever been sincerely asked. but how was this the move. why was this the move#i keep getting upset abt this bc if thats how one of my closest friends approaches me With context then who do i. where. like. whatever#andevery time my parents bring up my braces and i very obviously get uncomfortable and want the topic changed and they just keep#going like Im going to give u 3 word answers Again like i do Every time i KNOW its almost been 2 years WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT.#u know it was u who made me insecure about my teeth and u still never think about that and my reactions to braces convos. I feel crazy#can anybody be nice to me. please can you guys just be nice and considerate to me. can someone think about me at all.#. obviously Not directed at any of u who only know me on tumblr U are all nice and lovely and i do not expect/wish anything more from u 🫶🫶#its fine. ill get over all of it. my periods probably coming. i hate saying that bc im hyperaware of my periods effect on my depression#and i wish someone did not say he noted it bc the point Wasnt him blaming it on my period but head took it similarly and now im just#. WHATEVER. i hate my stupid baka life
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
me when i woke up two days ago and my kamioshis have beef and the allegations are getting srs
#im not tagging this with either liver or any companies i dont need to add oil to the fire#tldr there is no tldr bc theres so much background context to why there would be this sort of allegation in the first place#im just pissed and mentally ill#fuck bro#you guys get my thoughts so ig thats context but no specifics and if you ask im ignoring you#1 i didnt realize that a KAMI oshi fucking hated another oshi the entire time he was in the same vtuber company and wave as him#2 there are super serious allegations going around for that another oshi/kamioshi 2 that have no solid proof or sources#but people think it aligns with how he acts and are harassing him#3 kamioshi 1 adds fuel to the fire for petty reasons and is acting so immature that its disappointing even if the allegations are true#4 im forced to realize that i didnt actually support my fucking K A M I oshi enough to want to follow him after he left that company#bc i honestly wasnt paying much attention to him anymore until all of this happened over my current kamioshi / oshi 2#5 if i say anything too crazy about it the “news” channels trying to push allegations without proof will just fucking steal my tweets#because theyre desperate like that#and theres nothing i can do about it#and now im just realizing that when i got into this group of livers i was even younger than i am now + immature + naive#the group that convinced me that me and my friends could stick together as a group was harboring this kind of conflict the whole time#why did i let my guard down to become a fan of a real person#why did i actually think i could see the good in a real person#whatever fuck this#idk the plan now is to stay neutral unless something comes out and clears up the situation#also if the company handles it badly whether the allegations are true or not thats the last straw#im done with all vtubers after that#this is right after my trips to japan too i dont fucking know what im supposed to do with the vtuber ita bag or nui plush#ALSO im being very selfish about this on this post#these thoughts will NOT be going to twitter#let it be known that this posts tags are an example of an unhealthy and overattached fan#this shit is NOT about me#i just have to make it about me because i got so attached to this and its my fault for doing that#this isnt getting my post tag either#major vent alert major veeeeennntt alleerrrttt
0 notes
Text
#okay for context i am not diagnosed but based off of everything i am like positive i have it#im currently having trouble with it relating to fps and i feel like i need to talk to someone about this#but she doesn’t know that i have self diagnosed#i have brought up the fact my dad has called me borderline derogatorily before and that i have symptoms of it but that’s it#i feel like going in with the kind of specific bpd experiences stuff will be something else#i honestly do not want to get diagnosed bc how people with bpd are treated in the medical field#that’s another thing that scares me i don’t want her to be weird about it#idk#she’s been pretty chill about everything but idk im scared idk how she feels about self diagnosis and she does not focus on pds#god i wish i could just stop being like this im normal with some people why can’t it be everyone#sorry for asking this on tumblr dot com idrk what to do#i don’t feel like i can talk to many people about this bc im scared of people thinking im fucked up for my bpd#vent
0 notes