#for context this is about a teacher who absolutely hates me but also is the person who puts on the honors society

[brutal-out-here]

Alright prayer circle my mom decides I don’t have to go to the thing school tomorrow

[jessaerys]

that poll made me think of this excellent post by @magicaii re: mello’s fanon interpretation as overly emotional, and i broadly agree with all the points made, but i would also like to posit that if one subscribes to the hypothesis that mello and near grew up in a somewhat foster-sibling-like environment (which seems to already be almost universally accepted in the matt-mello relationship. is it even canon that they were roommates? it is so prevalent in the fandom that i forgot to even question it. but i digress) 

in a foster-sibling-like environment at the orphanage a certain level of childhood intimacy would be inescapable between mello and near just by virtue of growing up together: having meals together, attending the same classes, sharing caretakers and chores, being teamed up by teachers during assignments, existing in the same recreational spaces, etc. even if they were never particularly friendly with each other, they would inevitably, perhaps even unwittingly, develop some kind of understanding (“something identical in them […] something which would dart to one face, then to the other, depending on an expression or a trick of the light or the angle at which a head was cocked”) by virtue of being intellectual equals above the rest of their peers. they are, after all, foils to the L-light relationship.

in fact i find it harder to believe that they would not have interacted often at wammy’s. being slated to become and in competition for the role of L’s successor, their tutors would have set them up to push each other through special assignments/tests/projects. it is a highly effective didactic tool used in all sorts of competitive and academic environments. mello’s “you know near and i don’t get along” would be thoroughly justified: who amongst us would not hate being Assigned Partners At School with your (self-declared) nemesis!  roger knows this! he has probably threatened mello with a get-along-t-shirt! mello’s emphasis on you know is not clunky as-you-know exposition but an exasperated teenager going UGHH MOM! at a guardian that keeps refusing to acknowledge mello's protests

all of this is to say that, with this context in mind, i can imagine mello lightly “bullying”⁽¹⁾ near not because he wants to make a punching bag out of him but because in the way kids naturally learn through play and social interaction, he'd be feeling for his advantages over near (being more athletic, better with people, easier to get along with, etc) debatably he might even want to establish/prove these differences in the social hierarchy at wammy’s (given his high “social life” stats in dn13:htr) it is these differences (that near is too passive, emotionless, haughty, at least in mello’s head) which seem to frustrate mello the most, so it doesn’t strike me as out of character to think the boy who is introduced hitting someone with a ball and tugging at someone else's hair would surrender to his id⁽²⁾ and try to get a rise out of near, that he’d want to bring near down to everyone else’s “level"

and perhaps this is the shipping goggles i have on but there is something thoroughly intoxicating about being the center of attention of someone who you passionately resent when you are undoubtedly on top.⁽³⁾ you could argue mello subconsciously desires near’s admiration and either refuses to see it whenever it is there (“near told me i did good job, the condescending dick”) or near is absolute shit at communicating it (“your thought process in this essay was almost impossible to follow” <- badly worded compliment), so mello veers for the next best thing: near’s attention. much like with a bad cat, negative attention is still attention, and on god he is getting his fix of being so fucking annoying (look at me, why won't you look at me!) wherever he can get it

-

⁽¹⁾ie. wrestling him down in the playground, toppling over his towers, hiding favorite toys, pulling his hair, locking him in closets etc. nothing life-threatening or overly painful; the mean teasing of a resentful older brother, not the harassing of a bloodthirsty middle school terrorist 

⁽²⁾especially when they are younger mello would have far less developed self control lol. by the time we first meet them, at 13 and 15, this light bullying would've been largely a thing of the past, with mello becoming gradually more distant around the time he transitions into brooding teenagehood while near is still a kid, which would've made leaving wammy's far easier (i also think that mello would firmly believe that he has earned the right to bother near while everyone else has not and he WILL be fighting them about it. only he can mess with near, thank you very much. typical older brother behavior. but this post is already too long)

⁽³⁾ no. i shan't say it

[thatahjumma]

I had to pause the show, I am currently at the fight scene between Bumi and Aang. I have to say the characterisations of most of the characters so far have disappointed me. I can't help but compare to the OG ATLA because its literally based off the show and the characters in the animated series are already so fully fledged and complex, the live active just had to follow suit, instead of adding their own interpretations. I'll comment about main characters after I've watched the whole series but now,

Jet and the Freedom Fighters: They were casted so brilliantly!! And the actor for Jet did the absolute perfect job in being the charismatic leader of the 'lost boys' who lived in the trees. What I didn't like was how Netflix labelled him a "terrorist" and "acting out of hate". They outrightly labelled what he was doing, which made him less of complex character vs the animated series portraying him as a boy dealing with the traumas of loss and war, finding family with others who had to deal with the same loss, and failing to see the complexities of war. I don't know, the characterisation in Netflix's ATLA feels off.

Uncle Iroh: I like that Netflix addressed that he was a war criminal and how that affected the soldier on a personal level as well. But when Iroh said "War pushes us to the edge. I wasn't talking about me", I felt again that it does not feel like the Iroh I know from the animated series. The Iroh, who regretted his past decisions, the Iroh who was compassionate and on the search for enlightenment, the Iroh who was part of the White Lotus as a way of redeeming himself. Even the fight scene in the animated series, he did not use any firebending againts the Earthbender soldiers but in the Netflix one he did. In the animated series, it was significant to me that he did not use firebending (only the chains) -- from his past, he understood that he should not use his power to oppress. Somehow, without explicitly fleshing our Iroh's past, the animated series succeeded in creating a more complex, fully fledged character.

Lastly, BUMI T.T I understand that Netflix wanted to set the show in the context of war and so it kept bringing it up and I understood that the Netflix characterisation of Bumi was trying to act as a foil to Aang: someone who lived through 100 years of war vs someone who "ran" away from the difficulties of it. But this made Bumi wholly unlikeable and very much NOT BUMI. The animated Bumi acted as someone who could potentially be Aang's earthbending teacher and a "mad genius", someone who prepared Aang for the tough journey ahead and taught him to think outside the box. To me, while people do change and become jaded by war, Bumi was one of the characters that retained his 'madness' and joyfulness/zest for life (that's why he was part of the White Lotus). In the OG ATLA, he changed over a 100 years in terms of the wisdoms he gained and imparted to Aang. In the netflix series, he seemed like just an angry old king, who was jaded and took his anger out on his old friend? He even made the remark of airbenders being "flighty" after Aang said that they all died??? What on EARTH really, King Bumi liked to joke but he would never disrespect Aang or a whole peoples like that. Crazy characterisation choice by NetflixT.T

Anyway I'll stop ranting here and finish the episode (ALSO HOW COULD THEY TAKE AWAY THE AANG X KATARA MOMENT IN THE CAVE?? I'm really starting to understand why the original creators pulled themselves out of the Netflix project)

[bluebear-d]

With "Lucas on the line" providing some much needed but not 100% canon context i just want to say that the show itself actually uses subtle clues about the characters dealing with whatever happened last season.

In 4x01 we're being told Mike's not doing so well. His room was spotless in previous seasons, now it's messy. He used to wear clean preppy clothes, but now he just picks something from the pile of clothes on the floor. He looks moody and barely there unless it's about dnd. He says he hates high school.

Same with the others, like Dustin and Max's bad grades. You can't tell me Dustin didn't used to be top of the class.

S2 did the same thing actually. In the beginning we see everyone dealing with what happened a year ago.

We learn about Mike from his parents who discuss his bad behaviour at school (copying an essay, vandalizing the bathroom stall, being rude to the teacher) and even at home (stealing Nancy's savings, being moody).

Also, listen to what Owens says about Will and ptsd and apply it to Mike: personality changes, irritability, lashing out.

Also, we see Mike seeking solace in games and toys in s2: he stole from Nancy for arcade, he was scandalised that his parents were making him give away two boxes of his toys as punishment, he said the toys had emotional value, and when throwing them into the box he definitely remembered El. Objects remind him of his loved ones and good times with them so they absolutely do hold emotional value to him (see also the binder of Will's art). Mike is a sentimental bitch is what I'm saying.

ST has a lot of characters but not much time to give them the attention they deserve, so the Duffers use this tactic of showing us signs we can and should interpret on our own.

Also they definitely enjoy giving us puzzles and not explaining everything explicitly. S4 gets meta about it a couple of times, most blatantly with Dustin's words about Sherlock Holmes and obvious things no-one observes.

We're supposed to be deducing this shit. This is what cinema language is, this is the "show don't tell" part. Often times ST does simply tell us, but it also shows a lot.

[saintsenara]

Can you elaborate on some of the deranged fan theories you mentioned you believe? ex. Ron is a latent Seer

thank you for the ask, @thesilverstarling - based on this post in which i mention some of the unhinged and deranged fan theories i believe.

these are:

ron is a latent seer

ron spends the earlier books of the series as a very specific children's literature archetype. he is the insider to the world of the story [whereas harry - the everyman protagonist who is also the reader's point-of-view - is not] and he fills in all the context that harry and the reader need to know in order for the plot to advance.

that's why early ron [regrettably, his conformity to genre-type gets nerfed in the later books in favour of hermione knowing everything - as per her archetype within the series' transition to a folkloric narrative, the helper - although he's undoubtedly the most street-smart of the trio even in deathly hallows] knows all sorts of baffling-but-useful information.

such as, in philosopher's stone:

"But it’s against our laws," said Ron. "Dragon breeding was outlawed by the Warlocks’ Convention of 1709, everyone knows that."

which amps up the stakes of the norbert plot line, starting up the narrative arc which ends with harry encountering quirrellmort in the forbidden forest.

but beyond his knowledge of facts and stats, ron also has a tendency - especially, again, in the early books - to advance the plot by mentioning as an incidental detail something which will then turn out to be absolutely crucial later in the narrative. his best example of this is this, from chamber of secrets:

"I wish I knew why someone did try to chuck it," said Harry. "I wouldn’t mind knowing how Riddle got an award for special services to Hogwarts either." "Could’ve been anything," said Ron. "Maybe he got thirty O.W.L.s or saved a teacher from the giant squid. Maybe he murdered Myrtle; that would’ve done everyone a favour..."

i have always liked the idea that ron knows these things because he has some latent talent in divination, sadly unnourished by the fact that he thinks it's a bullshit subject and doesn't try hard at it.

ron is time-travelling dumbledore

this one had fans in a chokehold in the pre-half-blood prince era, after it was posted on a now-defunct forum, which can be found thanks to the magic of the wayback machine here.

the justification is beautifully deranged - the bit about ron not appreciating all the socks he has, dumbledore's sincerest desire, sends me into orbit - and i think we should all endeavour to make this theory have a comeback in 2024.

crookshanks was the potter family cat mentioned by lily in her letter to sirius

in prisoner of azkaban, hermione tells us that her new pet has spent a long time in the magical menagerie:

"Poor Crookshanks, that witch said he’d been in there for ages; no one wanted him."

maybe he's been waiting for years. maybe he's been waiting for twelve years?

after all, we know that crookshanks:

hates scabbers, whom he recognises as noted wrong 'un peter pettigrew long before he meets sirius.

loves and adores sirius - who was presumably around him a lot when he lived with the potters, seeing as he was james' best friend - to the extent that he throws himself in front of harry's wand when he thinks he's going to hurt sirius. as sirius says, the marauders' code was that they would rather die than betray their friends. crookshanks heard it while he dozed on the sofa in a godric's hollow living room as the boys were chatting shit in the kitchen.

is often shown being affectionate to harry in his time of need.

after careful vetting, very much approves of ginny. perhaps when he sees harry and ginny together he remembers his old owners. perhaps harry isn't beating the oedipus complex allegations...

all of which is to say, crookshanks is the trio's fourth marauder. no wonder sirius had him booked and busy for a full year.

george weasley is willy wonka

is a stupid bit of whimsy, outlined here.

stan shunpike is a genuine death eater

this is a fan theory in so much as i'm a fan and i believe it, but i do think it's quite convincing...

throughout the series, harry has an extremely black-and-white, emotionally-driven view of the world. in particular, he tends to assume that anyone he likes is good and anyone he dislikes is bad, and that his read on people is automatically correct. he takes against most of the villains [draco malfoy, dolores umbridge] or quasi-villains [gilderoy lockhart] on sight, and his judgement in this decision is almost always correct.

almost always.

it backfires on him a couple of times in the series - for example, in his immediate trust in the tom riddle of chamber of secrets, who he thinks must be on his side because he's an orphan, looks a bit like him, and isn't pureblood - even before we come to the big twin revelations of deathly hallows: that snape, whom he's always loathed, and dumbledore, whom he's always trusted, are more complicated than his usual way of seeing the world can allow.

but, in general, harry gets away with forming snap judgements on the basis of personal like or dislike. indeed, outside of three examples above, his instinctive response to someone usually ends up being justified.

the reader is, then, clearly supposed to take the same view as harry when it comes to stan shunpike's doings in half-blood prince and deathly hallows: that stan isn't a real death eater; that his arrest is illegitimate; and that, if he's implicated in any wrongdoing, it's because he's under the imperius curse.

but, i'm afraid to say, harry is dead wrong. stan - who, like so many other wayward youths who find themselves in lord voldemort’s orbit, longs for power - is a fully paid-up and sincere member of that organisation. he gets off scot free at the end of the war when harry vouches for him and spends the rest of his life chuckling.

delphini's existence is entirely plausible

this is a reference to a theory from a really odd little piece of fan-fiction called harry potter and the cursed child, which has as a central plot line the baffling idea that lord voldemort knocked up bellatrix, didn't immediately murder her the second he found out he'd done so, and became the reluctant father to a daughter with an even worse name than albus severus.

i should say that i've never actually seen cursed child, but it sounds like a scream. complete dogshit, obviously, but in an entertaining way...

i should also say that i am a delphini truther. i think she makes perfect sense as an arc in bellamort's weird relationship.

very few people seem to agree - delphini features in my fic one year in every ten as literally nothing more than a cipher for her father's neuroses, and the eye-rolling in the comments whenever she's mentioned is still going to detach a few retinas - but that sign won't stop me because i can't read.

i don't, i should say, think that she's planned. i think somebody was daydreaming about horcruxes when he should have been paying attention in slughorn's sex-ed lessons, and she's an accident. i like the idea of lord voldemort fucking around and finding out that even he isn't resistant to human biology. i like the idea that bellatrix - who, canonically, tells him to his face to stop being a dick and realise that snape's a spy - simply ignores him when he demands she terminates the pregnancy. i like the idea that, since he knows deep down that bellatrix wants a part of him that's fully hers - since he a) won't ever commit to her in the way she wants, and b) won't ever tell her that she has a piece of his soul in her bank account - he begrudgingly relents. after all - and i'll die on this hill - he does love her, in his own very strange little way.

as well as being a great tool for a bit of bellamort insight, delphini is a great next-gen blank slate for all sorts of people's character development. the resurrected voldemort of one year in every ten is in shambles over how much she looks like him when he was young. the harry and ginny of everlasting ink are learning through her that bellatrix wasn't just a deranged sadist, but was also quite a lot like their beloved andromeda and tonks. the narcissa of ecclesiastes three is debating telling her estranged sister that she has a niece. the merope of the shack at the end of the lane is discussing baby names and reflecting on falling in love with unsuitable men with the closest thing she'll ever have to a daughter-in-law.

i also think delphini provides a much more interesting example of the cycle of the series repeating itself after the war ends than teddy. both tonks and lupin dying at the battle of hogwarts, leaving their son an orphan - like gasp! harry - always feels so tacked on to me. but both tom riddles ending up with children they didn't really want and have no idea how to relate to, whose mothers are both dead, and who grow up simmering with resentment over being abandoned? inject it.

and then, of course, the final and most serious deranged fan theory i believe

hagrid is a death eater.

[spacedustmantis]

so... episode 73, huh?

I've been having a lot of thoughts about gillion and his approach to emotions, and it's all been kickstarted by the last episode

(spoilers for the just roll with it riptide campaign up to ep. 73 below, also discussions of multiple not so nice topics, such as self-hatred, lack of parental figures / abandonment, atlas personality, physical and emotional abuse, isolation, neglect and indoctrination. be safe.

also i am very aware that most of what I'm gonna say is not necessarily new to a lot of people and it's by no means a revelation, this is supposed to be more of a getting-my-thoughts-in-order kind of post. I don't really have a structure planned for this one, so get ready for a lot of rambling and don't expect a conclusion or anything of the sorts

also every english teacher on earth is gonna hate me for this, but I'm not providing any context. this analysis is not gonna do you any good if you aren't familiar with the rough plot of riptide. I'll do my best to make it clear which scenes I'm referencing in case you want to watch / listen to them to refresh.)

basically this whole thing started bc I thought that gillion was behaving quite strangely this episode (ep 73). of course, considering his situation (everything he's learned about his "purpose" in the episodes before the feywild, being in a phase of change and finding himself etc.) and the catalyst being the kidnapping of pretzel, it's not surprising to see him act differently, but what threw me off was that he was hugely inconsistent in his behavior.

now if I wasn't aware that charlie is an absolute improv and acting genius, I might have waved this off as the player being unsure of the best approach, but charlie doesn't only know how to be in character, he also knows said character impossibly well. he's proven again and again that he understands gillion's situation and the effects of his life on him to a tee.

and so I took a closer look at the inconsistencies to figure out a pattern. surprise, surprise! I did!

most instances I found have to do with his projected intent and mood, and his actual intent and mood.

after pretzel got kidnapped, gillion took an oath of vengeance and, very in line with that oath, started acting scary, forward to the point of aggression and very, very angry.

yet despite his demeanor he does not resist when asked to cooperate by the staff (who as far as he knows works with the very people he suspects took pretzel), offers dirla his help with their stolen cub and shows genuine interest in helping everyone who's lost someone to the pig girl, and goes out of his way to save the pixie that fell off of the flying pug. and even though it might not come across that way because of the weird mix of behaviors, he still tries his best to be as polite and well-mannered as possible. these are all things that gillion would have done before, but now contrasted by this sinister act, that he seems to only half commit to, they feel weird.

one instance I wanted to highlight was the conversation he and jay had with the pixie in the big tent. here is where gillion gets really upfront and explicitly aggressive (even though his attempt at kidnapping failed) for the first time, and he immediately gets interrupted by a sudden outpour of emotions when the pixie tells him that her pet weasel is called peanutbutter. charlie tells us ooc that gillion broke out in tears because he saw himself in her. what that means is that he saw a person who clearly loved their pet a lot and gave them a food related name, and the resemblance to him and his own pet was enough to break through his normally very strong emotional barrier (we'll come back to this) In Front Of Other People!

this reaction could be due to the pixie and her weasel reminding him that he very much misses his own beloved pet, or because he gets hit with the realization that this pixie could also lose her pet, or, most likely, it's a mixture of both. normally both of these would act as a motivator to get going and fix things, but gillion instead just kinda falls down sobbing.

the way he talks to the pixie shortly after he broke down, also shows a weird juxtaposition between his tone of speaking, which is extremely childlike and sounds very vulnerable for once, and the words that he says (talk about murder and torture) which again ties into the previously established inconsistency.

all of this leads me to the most obvious hint at what is going on with gillion and why he behaves the way he behaves: the fact that he breaks down crying the second he's by himself. it's like a big, red, sparkly, blinking arrow that points us to the source of everything.

gillion is putting on a facade. one that crumbles the moment he is alone.

and sure this is pretty obvious - we've known that he isn't really one to be vulnerable - but the moment I actually sat down to think about what this facade would mean for gillion, all of the above listed inconsistencies (and more) started making perfect sense.

to understand we need to take a look at what we know about his upbringing.

what we know of course is the whole deal with being raised as a weapon for the elders, being taken from his family, his training etc. but we actually know shockingly little about his relationship to the elders and his day to day life. all we have are implications and speculations. however, even though not much has been confirmed, most things we learn about gillions childhood work together to create a picture and we can fill in the blanks with relative ease.

we aren't given a specific age that gillion was taken by the elders but we know that he was already in training by age eight (gillion's first secret in the meat room ep. 52) and I think it's safe to assume he was taken way earlier, seeing as the prophecy and the incidents surrounding his birth (allegedly) lined up perfectly and the elders would have been informed immediately, since the whole prophecy thing is a huge deal to them. (Edit: as of ep. 79 we know that he was taken at age five or younger)

we also know, thanks to the description of young gillion in ep. 72, that he was bruised and wearing "clothes and armor that's a little too big for him". so the elders clearly had no issue harming a small child (even if it was due to the training, you don't just hurt a kid like that) and the not-fitting clothes indicate serious neglect. even form-fitted armor would not have been a huge trouble for the elders, the literal highest authority in the undersea, to get.

the isolation from any friends or family (except edyn) gillion experienced while in training isn't even just implied, it's outright stated multiple times, most notably during the conversation with edyn in ep. 58, when she is talking about pretzel being intended to help with his loneliness. the elders even held control over how much he was allowed to see his sister and restricted the frequency more and more the older he got.

in that conversation gillion talks about how he was not the best student and had to take "extra lessons" (Edit: we now know that these extra lessons stem from the elders refusal to explain their expectations to gillion, ep. 77), and how he did not get much time (if any at all) for hobbies, which leads me to believe that any deviation from the intended path (such as misbehaving or interests in non chosen one stuff) was punished and beaten out of him, figuratively, or even literally.

the elders made gillion do stuff he did not want to do (also ep. 58, same conversation) (Edit: also ep. 75) and did not let him do stuff he did want to do, and still he holds an unwavering trust in them for a very long time even after he was exiled, a clear sign that his perception of the elders as rightful authority has been really deeply ingrained in his brain. not once would he question the elders since to him they are infallible.

and of course we are all quite familiar with the very core of gillion's story; the ideals instilled within him by years and years of influence by the elders and the prophecy: the very black-and-white view on morality, the "greater good" being much more important than his own life, the undersea being superior to any other faction and the clear correct choice once gillion's destiny rolls around, the idea that he carries all of the responsibility for literally every creature of the undersea and also every other person or creature (in that order of priority), the justification of murder (as long as they're "evil" of course) and the notion that he is only of any worth if he can be a weapon for someone to use, or a shield for someone to take refuge behind. (all of this is displayed in his behavioral patterns over the course of the campaign and I won't be digging out any scenes for you to go back to. if you aren't familiar with these patterns why are you here? /lh)

all of this paints a picture of abuse, neglect, isolation (and the distance from actual society that comes with it, which in turn results in easier manipulation), control and indoctrination, not to mention the absolute abandonment from his biological parents.

the amount of psychological issues that stem from this is enough to fill a whole book:

a lack of self-worth bordering on self-hatred and a very self-sacrificial nature, abandonment issues, an atlas personality (if you can't infer what that means through context clues, google it, it should be the very first result) and trauma from the elders' abuse.

the following part will only really talk about the last two, since they are the most relevant to how gillion approaches his emotions.

the whole facade that gillion puts on again and again is essentially one big trauma response. as many have already observed, gillion has two very strongly contrasting sides to him. one is his more "true" self which shows more and more as he stays with the riptide pirates. he starts finding joy in otherwise "useless" activities such as joking around and even pulling pranks (ep. 42), he stands up for himself instead of just others, and he begins very slowly and cautiously opening up to his friends.

certain situations (his friends being in danger, a village in need of saving, an insult to his honor) tend to trigger the other side of him (which used to be the only side that ever saw the light of day) to show: heroic, righteous, strong, but also closed off, self-sacrificial, and afraid of failure. part of this side, or this trauma response, is this facade. he falls back into old habits, habits that used to keep him alive: do the right thing even if it means the death of yourself or an enemy, if in doubt the undersea is superior, be on your best behavior, and whatever you do Do Not show weakness.

on top of all that comes the atlas thing, the idea that the world is resting on his shoulders and it's his job to fix everything.

so he restrains any show of emotions not just because back in the undersea that was dangerous, could get him in trouble, but just as importantly he was taught that his own emotions come last and being emotional could harm others. and it's his job to help everyone else no matter the cost.

and this explains pretty much all of gillions behavior this episode, especially if one considers that he is very emotionally affected by pretzels disappearance, which means that it is much harder for him to keep up the act. the mix of threatening and weirdly polite, his oath to get vengeance and yet not hurting anyone who might have been involved with the kidnapping, the stark contrast between cornering the pixie and collapsing on top of her sobbing, are all a result of all of his different pre-established patterns and systems of how to function clashing, and so of course it's a mess. he's angry at the pig-girl, rightfully so, but that also triggers the anger towards the entire world he's in that isn't intrinsic but has been instilled in him by the elders. he wants to be threatening but his instincts tell him to be well-behaved. he feels like he cannot let anyone see how he's actually feeling but he's so strung up that it only takes the name of the pet of a stranger to make him cry. and he expresses the most amount of emotion he probably ever has in front of others while talking about harming and killing people.

even the very fact that he made the oath of vengeance points us to his childhood; the moment something happens which he does not know how to solve otherwise, something that he cannot deal with in the same way he deals with other things, he makes an oath, or a deal, or a bargain. it's a pattern that's wormed it's way through the entire campaign ever since his talk with niklaus hendrix (ep. 8) and found it's beginning in his original paladin oath, one he took due to the conditioning and expectations of the elders. (my theory is that he finds something comforting in making a deal with someone higher up in the food chain than him. fucking freak.)

another interesting aspect to look at under this new light is his initial reaction to finding pretzels bowl empty. first thing he does is scream. multiple times. to me that is a very clear very vulnerable expression of emotion. and then - he does nothing. until he's prompted to break the mirror by jay. and it's only until after that plan fails that gillion starts his whole vengeance spiel, which we now know is most likely an attempt at fixing things the way he should as instructed by the elders. in that short period of time before that he is aimless. he's just gillion and he lost his pet and he doesn't know what to do. in that moment his initial reaction is utter despair, pure emotion, and once he had time to gather himself that's when he doesn't see any other way than to do something painfully familiar. and with that also comes the whole barrage of old behavioral patterns that lead to him acting the way he does.

so that's this episode, but of course, similar, less obvious cases are sprinkled all throughout the campaign.

the one that immediately comes to mind is the fight for honor between him and chip (ep. 15), where the moment his honor is wounded, he opts for a fight to the death, even though at this point he already considers chip his friend.

or in ep. 8, insisting on a fight with niklaus and even going for a second round after getting downed by niklaus in one hit, and then accepting a deal that he knows is bad news, all because it would save the mayor and his daughter (because, quick refresher, they could have just let the mayor die and that would have lifted the curse). and "what is one more burden" right?

or the fact that he still sees having fun with his friends as an actual literal sin!! (ep. 71)

or letting jay down him willingly, even removing his armor (ep. 53)

and so on and so forth. there's probably a lot of subtle one-liners or passing ooc remarks, that I can't remember, but you get the gist.

the gist being that gillion grew up not being gillion, but The Chosen One instead. and now that he has the freedom to be both, there are some really messy consequences, and it's actually incredible what a grip charlie has on all of these layers and behaviors and I get more and more fascinated by him the deeper I dig.

we have not even touched certain aspects of gillion's character and journey, there's his fish out of water issue, very subtle hints that he might have been suicidal at one point, not to mention what his banishment from the undersea did to him. but all of that is another conversation entirely.

anyway! I hope you enjoyed this very all over the place, rambly analysis post, even though there's not many new thoughts or revelations in here and I basically winged it! the moment I started this train of thought on saturday I just couldn't get to rest until I put this whole thing together.

now I finally know peace.

can't wait for the next episode on friday to disprove all of what I said

(also please feel free to add onto this, tell me how I got it wrong, derail the post etc. I love reading other people's thoughts on stuff I say)

(@wrinklemcdinkle

@snails-in-spaceships

@keenscribbles

@poly-pirates-my-beloved

@enby-ralsei

@littlefoxwithbighat

@burning-sol)

[positivelybeastly]

Do you think Xavier is a bad influence on beast and the X-Men as a whole?

"That is - that is pure - pure poppycock and balderdash! That is ludicrous! That is absolutely - how would you - "

And then Hank stops for a moment.

And thinks about it.

"I don't - think he's a bad influence, no. That's a ridiculous question."

*

So, I think it's important for me to state that I think Professor X as the secret bad guy/villain of the X-Men story is just. Dumb. The X-Men story falls apart if he is just evil, there's clearly enough good about him to justify why everyone believes in him and follows him and puts stock in his dream (and no, it isn't fuckin' telepathic control).

But.

. . . Okay, this is going to take some set-up and context, so bear with me.

I find that if you take just the original 60s run as fully, unaltered canon, which . . . some people do, then you're gonna end up hating Xavier because he is just such a massive piece of shit. But pretty much any characterisation past that point, especially Claremont's, takes much more care to depict him as still very much an authority figure, but with a strong caring, paternalistic (for good or for ill) side to him that's shot through with a strong, burning tendency towards manipulation.

I think a delineation does have to be drawn here, though, that Charles being manipulative is (usually) different to someone like Mr. Sinister being manipulative, because Charles I think genuinely does have people's best interests at heart, but he's got a tendency to believe that that means his idea of their best outcome is the correct one. And. It isn't.

You can see it with Scott most acutely, where he tried to give him something that would best utilise his talents and give him what he was missing from life, but he didn't realise (and I do think it's a case of realisation, rather than not caring) what that was going to do to him in the long run. Scott doesn't have anything other than the X-Men because Xavier didn't think to really give him anything other than the X-Men.

You can also see it with Hank, where he really should have realised that Hank was in the middle of a really bad behavioural spiral pre-Krakoa, and pushed him to be closer with his actual friends or get off the damn island, but because he was preoccupied with Krakoa and probably thought, well, Hank's one of us, we should try and help steer him back, he gave him X-Force.

Which was precisely the wrong thing to do. You don't give an emotionally compromised wreck of a man control over your intelligence agency. But I choose to think Charles tried to do it out of love, not wanting Hank to feel cast aside or useless in the new status quo.

Bobby, Warren and Jean don't have it quite as bad, mostly because I never got the impression Xavier connected with Bobby or Warren as closely, and Jean is so absurdly powerful that their relationship has been one of equals for a long time now rather than outright teacher and pupil, which was what Scott and him were for the longest time, and which Hank and him arguably still are.

I always liked the version of Xavier you see in Parker's First Class, which is a version that makes the O5 and the X-Men at large's loyalty to him make sense, but you can't ignore the paternalism and manipulative streak that really does run through his character. Even before a lot of the damaging retcons to his character like Deadly Genesis or Danger, he was still doing fucked up shit like erasing Hank from his parents' minds because it was 'safer.'

So, is he a bad influence on Hank and the X-Men? Yeah, kind of? But I don't think he intended to be. I think he genuinely had the best intentions for all of them, they just . . . didn't pan out, and he went about trying to actualise those intentions the wrong way.

I feel like that's a more compelling characterisation for him, to be the man who loves his children but who can't stop fucking up their lives, or turning them into (in a roundabout way) weapons in his fight for mutant rights. The good man who can't stop doing bad things because he can't just let go.

[decolonize-the-left]

Just curious. Would kids that grew up in a cult be considered third culture as well? Or do TCK’s have another layer of disconnect/a different type of disconnect?

I grew up being told that the culture around me was hostile and evil. That I am from the “world,” but not “of” it. I’m white (Anglo and Scottish), my family’s ideology was somewhat similar yet radically different than the people I met in everyday life. Learning that I grew up in a cult, learning that my way of life wasn’t normal and transitioning to the new normal of the culture around me was extremely difficult, traumatizing, and I still feel like an outsider to the mainstream culture sometimes. Growing up like that was alienating and no matter what I’ll always have some sort of disconnect with the people around me. I feel like my childhood was taken away from me, once I transitioned to public school I felt separate from my classmates in terms of shared cultural experience (could be the autism though, although obv the cult upbringing played a significant part in that feeling).

But I guess what I’m asking is even if kids weren’t missionary kids, could the subculture of evangelical Christianity by itself be enough to count as a “third culture?” Or would that be a different sociological context with a (possibly) different name? I’m asking cause as a white person my experience is very different than someone who was ripped away from their ethnicity, or moved to different countries as a kid for either military or missionary reasons, even though I feel alienated from whatever culture I’m supposed to call my own. Evangelicalism was what I knew but it wasn’t meant for me (I am on tumblr and I’m queer and autistic after all), whatever culture there was outside the church doors was unknown to me except for what my teachers and pastors fearmongered about. And when I had to step into that world (they couldn’t bubble me up and shelter me forever after all), I was totally alone and afraid within this new culture and had to learn it and adapt to it by myself.

It's not my place to regulate what experiences you are allowed to relate to and find reassurance by.

That said, I've always viewed the bible as a tool of oppressors. A means of erasing what was there before and replacing it with beliefs and behaviors that white supremacy finds more palatable. I believe if you feel robbed by the church then you probably were. They do converts and missionary trips for a reason you know? Conversion and colonization is still happening and they still use that book to do it. That's still it's purpose.

And also "cultural Christianity" is certainly a thing, it's easier to notice within places like the US where it's so dominant and aggressively pushed.

I mean good and evil with no in between (Americans hate nuance don't they?), that sinning (crime) means ppl "deserve" bad things (like police brutality or prison or death), constant surveillance under the eye of....the state, purity culture stems from it, etc.

It absolutely is its own culture and unlearning that is Hard.

If you need me to say it? Yeah in my opinion it counts. You get it.

That's what happened to us too.

[sasubaeuchithot]

what do you think about sakura? i've always been very conflicted or even indifferent to her. i feel like i've either wanted to really like her, but she falls short on every expectation, or i've wanted to really hate her, but she's too bland even for that. i've seen one half of the fandom raise her on a pedestal that i feel she doesn't deserve and the other make her absolute rubbish and that you're supposed to loathe with all your heart.

when it comes to naruto and sasuke, i do think both of them have love for sakura (even sasuke, even though it seems almost blasphemy to say this out loud), as both of them have love as their core characteristic, especially sasuke. i think sakura loves them both too, but i also think she's shallow in her feelings but is capable of reflecting on them. but i also think, often giggling to myself, that she's a smelly sweaty nervous girl when it comes to sasuke and it takes time to grow out of it.

all in all i think people in this fandom often seem to forget nuance and context when talking about her.

i enjoy you writing her, because she has dimension and she's capable of self reflection, but you don't put her on a pedestal.

sorry for the rant, i need other things to think about than my life right now. hope you're doing good and beating your writer's block with a stick!

sakura is very complicated for me. as a character, she enrages me- but not because of her actual personality. it's important when watching any form of fictional media to remember that these are characters, characters who were created by a real person to try to tell a story. all of her unlikable flaws for me all stem from the fact that she was created specifically for the male characters around her. even as early as her character introduction, which was the first plot device we are ever given to paint the rivalry between naruto and sasuke; we are introduced to sakura by naruto proclaiming he has a crush on her, only to see her brush him off and shallowly fangirl over sasuke. this continues throughout the entirety of the story in ways you don't necessarily notice at first, but become glaringly obvious the more you understand the misogyny in kishimoto's writing.

in the beginning of the land of waves arc, kakashi has all three students practicing tree climbing. Sakura, we see, excels at this. this seems great for a female character, right??? look, she's better than her two male teammates!! except that when you take into account that that is basically the one of the like. two times in the entire story we ever see her do better than either Sasuke or Naruto. this moment does more than just fall short due to never being supported again in the narrative once you realize that in actuality, kishimoto wrote her to have excelled so well at controlling her chakra because he wanted to write her out of the scene. that is literally the only reason he wrote her being adept in that moment. he needed naruto and sasuke to bond over training, and he didn't want sakura to be a part of the sentiment. narratively in his mind, she couldn't be! her entire existence was about the OPPOSITE; she was created to show the divide between the other two, so she can't be there to assist in showing their bond.

this is also where the concept of "Sakura is useless" comes from. her character was not created to showcase the world building of ninjutsu, nor was she meant to be the one saving the day. kakashi's character was about worldbuilding; he is the teacher-character who dialog dumps all of the information about how this ninja world operates. and at the beginning, saving the day was largely sasuke's job- to display the incapabilities and shortcomings of naruto- and then that moved onto Naruto's job- to show how far the protagonist has worked and to push the story forward. sakura's purpose of being the representation of how sasuke is Wanted and naruto is Unwanted does not fit in battle, so she is sidelined. for the entire first part of the story, she doesn't even have a jutsu she specializes in!!!! in a show about ninjas!!!!!!!! she is never allowed to display her own adeptness, because it would get in the way of her male counterparts' story. and then in an effort to keep her character relevant later on (and to placate fans I'm sure), kishimoto decides to make her. a fucking medic. a caregiver.

the misogyny of it angers me. she's the main female in your story, and her sole purpose is to support male characters both within the narrative and on the paper. but if i choose to watch/read the story as most other viewers do, devoid of my knowledge of writing fiction, I start to like her come Shippuden. i love the balance she has between her strength and her feminity. i love loud, determined women who show their gentleness selectively. i love her "headstrong combined with arm strong" (I'm quoting myself lmaoooo). but i despise how ALL of that disappears around Sasuke. it's so hard to focus on what I do like about her when kishi takes every opportunity he can to display the fact that she is very much Written By A Man™.

one super frustrating challenge that i had was the fact that I had to start out sakura's character in my own fanfiction complying with these awful character traits for her. my goal of kizuna hikari was to have everyone as canonically in-character as possible- which includes inheriting sakura's misogynistic character purpose. but i refused to keep her that way. so her character arc for me was shedding off her male-centric character traits. it took the whole fucking fic to undo kishi's work lmaoooo. i had to really gnaw away at her dependency on Sasuke, which involved keeping her narrative unfortunately still centered around him. but now i feel like now I'll actually be able to write her as her OWN character for the sequel, thank fucking god.

what you said about Naruto and Sasuke loving her is so true, and I see it the same way. their core character traits are both about loving deeply and intensely, so it's difficult for me to see either of them NOT caring about her. Sasuke at his heart is gentle and kind, rude as he can outwardly be. he naturally craves love. Sakura for sure is delusional, and a lot of her infatuation with Sasuke is rose-tinted, but I don't think ALL of it is. she does care for and love Sasuke- she's just lost in her own fantasy with it.

i really enjoyed writing her finally coming to terms with her delusions, realizing what parts of Sasuke she had been glamorizing and finally seeing him for himself. from where I've left off with her at the end of the povs, she did not fall out of love with him even though she came to terms with sasuke and naruto's relationship, which tells me that I think that she does harbor real love for him in canon. i can't wait to expand on her in the sequel and see how that develops.

[spidersmiceandeverythingnice]

POTENTIALLY HOT AND BAD TAKE ABOUT NUANCE AND SJM WRITING INCOMING -

Tbh people bring this up as a knock against Rowan's character - "He PUNCHED Aelin!!" - but like the reasons I disliked Rowan had literally nothing to do with that because Aelin absolutely deserved it when he punched her in the face.

The context of that scene is that Rowan is not a human. He's not presented human, he doesn't act human, and the narrative doesn't treat him as Aelin's equal in any conceivable way. It is established very quickly that Aelin is a punk ass nineteen year old (who is depressed and dealing with it by being abrasive and cruel and pushing everyone away from her) and Rowan is an extremely powerful, dangerous immortal creature who has been fighting and killing in wars for centuries, and doesn't conform to human sensibility. He doesn't like Aelin and resents the fact that he's been ordered by his boss to put up with her.

And then Aelin looks Rowan dead in the face and tells him that his people deserved genocide.

The Fae in ToG were massacred. They're rare - Rowan is a member of an endangered species. And now this obsentially human kid who he is being forced to deal with is telling him that he, and many of his friends, loved ones, and other kin deserved to be hunted down and slaughtered for No Reason.

So, yeah Rowan punched Aelin in the face. And she deserved it. That's a downright horrific thing to say to ANYONE let alone someone who is canonically a genocide survivor anyway. She also said it on purpose because it was the worst thing she could think of to provoke him - which, again? Not great, considering that she's nineteen and depressed and he's meant to be her teacher in this scenario. But Rowan didn't randomly decide to attack Aelin. And once the pair of them decide to mutually stop antagonizing one another in Heir of Fire they actually do manage to form a strong platonic bond.

There are a ton of reasons to dislike Rowan mainly because he's ultimately boring and after HoF ends, any of the nuanced or interesting parts of his character are removed and it turns out that his only personality traits are being obssessed with Aelin and wanting to bang her - but idk, the punching thing is fine as a plotpoint. It's problematic because it's meant to be. It feels like an organic character interaction, and the relationship develops from there - literally, from rock bottom. And as it stands, that's actually fine! I don't hate this kind of writing.

The problem I have with ACOTAR is that a similar situation occurs.

It's Tamlin at the High Lord meeting. Is what he said to Feyre objectively bad? Yeah, sure, objectively but also? Feyre just ruined his Court and directly caused the slaughter of his people. (Hybern repeatedly thanks her for removing Tamlin as an obstacle to their conquest.) Tamlin is now dealing with an invasion and a refugee crisis because he tried to help someone he loved. He believed that he had rescued Feyre from a dangerous situation (ACOWAR contains a really bizarre passage where Feyre admits to lying about being raped, and then gets mad at Tamlin and Lucien for believing her). Feyre went behind his back to ruin all his work as a spy because she randomly decided that the best time to revenge herself upon him was during an active war situation. And if I were in his shoes - looking at the person I once loved who has now betrayed me in every conceivable way, dressed head to toe in actual diamonds and married to the man who had sexually assaulted her in front of me, because he was jealous of me - I wouldn't be handing over the classified intel i painstakingly gained as a spy, while trading pointed barbed insults about my ex-girlfriend's sex life. I would be literally biting heads off of necks. So, I say, fair enough. Tamlin gets a free pass here to say whatever he wants - in fact, for a guy whose supposed to be infamous for his horrible temper, I find him to be remarkably restrained! Notably, when violence breaks out - its the Inner Circle who are responsible for it.

Of course, they're immediately absolved. Zero consequences. In fact, their violence was helpful and makes people trust them! God damn it.

Anyway SJM IS capable of nuance - except that in ACOTAR, she doesn't do anything actually interesting with it and seems keen to remove nuance from her books as soon as possible whenever she does stumble across it.

[funtxmequeen]

Rules

I am on mobile, so my tags are very minimal.

Do not reblog threads you are not apart of. This also applies to my headcanons, but I'm confident that the only people who reblog those are ppl who find it and don't realize this is an RP blog.

I'm lenient about this, but do not reblog art or memes from here, as it clogs up my feed.

Don't poop on the floor

Foxy is transfem. While I do not mind IN CHARACTER transph*bia for the sake of conflict and angst, I have an absolute ZERO TOLERANCE for ACTUAL transphobia. As such, anons who do not make it clear if the transph*bia is real or fake will be ip blocked immediately. (Ideally, send in an emoji of some sort so I can identify you, or if you're a mutual trying to stir up some drama, dm me ahead of time so we're on the same page.) Hate towards me or my muse will not be tolerated whatsoever.

IC transph*bia posts will be tagged "Transphobia," as a catch all, but if I need to make a specific tag, please tell me. I want the drama, but in no way do I want to make this blog unsafe for you. Any actual tr*nsphobic content I receive will not be posted.

If, even after all my efforts, this blog still does not feel safe to you, but you still would like to interact with me (not Foxy), DO NOT SOFT BLOCK ME! Some of you already know this, but this is not my only blog. Instead, please inform me that this blog makes you uncomfortable and you don't want to follow it. I will gladly reach out to you on my hub blog, and direct you to my other fnaf rp blogs. Your safety is more important than our hobby.

You never know what you're going to get with me. You may get a multipara starter/reply, you may get a few sentences. I don't expect you to match my length, especially if I've written a behemoth of a starter... but I do ask that you try to match my effort. If I'm writing a huge reply and you respond with something that doesn't match the setting or context, (and do this consistently,) I'm more than likely doing to drop threads, and if this keeps happening, I'll just soft block you. Yes I do this for fun, but I put abouts and rules and everything you need to know for a reason, and if you can't be bothered to put in the effort to read it, or properly read my responses, then don't even bother.

I am a mobile user. Maybe once in a while, I'll pop onto a computer at the library to fine tune posts like this, but it's hard, if not impossible for me to use the site to its full extent. As such, icons will not be used, tags will be scarce, and trimming posts will not be done the way I like.

Trimming posts are a strange area. I have adhd and autism, so the best way for a thread to be trimmed is with the last response still attached. This way I can remember what's going on in the thread, which will lead to an overall better rp experience. If posts don't get trimmed, I'll just have to make the reply and hit that big red X button that deletes everything before my response, so take that as a warning.

RESPECT MY FUCKING BOUNDARIES. I've had some issues with one individual who sucked me into this Fandom, they refused to take no for an answer, and forced me to rp an incest ship. This has scared me away from the rpc for years. If I say no, it does not mean "convince me," it means no. I have a three strikes your out policy.

I have a full-time job as a daycare teacher. I am not always online. Do not pester me for replies.

I like to talk in the DMs!! Please don't think that this is a passive aggressive attempt to get you to reply, as eager as I get, this is a hobby, and I will not rush you intentionally!! Please tell me politely if I make you feel rushed or don't want to talk via dms. (I personally just think that writing is more fun when you know your partners.) That being said, I do not want you feeling like you are responsible for my personal feelings, and vice versa. You are allowed to say no, I am allowed to say no. If you try and guilt trip me, that will count against your three strikes. (And I will warn you dw.)

In addition to this, if you do NOT like communicating via dms, please tell me, and I will stop. If you just ignore me or ghost me, I'm either going to continue to try and reach out, thinking you forgot or didn't get notified, or I'll become intimidated, and think I did something wrong. We're all adults here, we can use our words. You don't have to follow me if you don't want to interact.

I have kept up with the lore moderately well, but if I don't know something, or have forgotten something, do not bully me. I have zero tolerance for it. You respect me, and I respect you.

If you want to let me know you've read these, go ahead and like it, but it's not required, I use an honor system anyway.

[thoughtfullyrainynightmare]

I came across Fuegoleon slander again... Those people really have nothing better to do, especially since at the same time they're also so-called big fans of Mereoleona. What they don't realize that if Mereo was real would hear them talk about her brother that way, she would beat them up to hell in his defense. But at least, I'm happy to see that each Fue fan, even on twitter itself, always are proud and happy to love Fuegoleon Vermillion.

I don't see much of the hate in general, because I curate my online experience, but whenever it does cross my dash on some platform (honestly, Tumblr is the most peaceful place that I know of in terms of fandoms, but that's just my general impression from personal perspective, and what my moots have shared with me of their experiences) it usually seems like... an attempt to make another character seem better by putting down another character. And that's... the sandbox behaviour of "I need to put you down to stomp on you and make myself look taller". But the thing is, that's just feigned strength. No one I'd admire for their strength and grace would do that. As in, sure, you might not like some people (you might actually hate some people, which are other things because we, quite simply, don't like everyone, that's just a fact), but slandering them in order to boost your own image usually does the exact opposite.

I actually know someone like that irl. And he's a martial arts teacher. He puts down other people who have been training for a very long time, who are skilled, in order to make himself look even better. But the thing is... everyone hates him. Everyone sees the desperate attempt to boost his own image, and they think even less of him.

If I circle back to fandoms, and the Vermillions in this context, I think these people forget the Elf Arc where Mereo and Fue had the monologues, turned into a kind of a dialogue, about how they admire each other. Sure, Mereo's way of talking about Fue was more crude, along the lines of "he's too serious for his own good", but you need to be able to read the meaning behind the individual words said. Because what Mereo means is that "he is serious, he is responsible, and he cares about the kingdom to the point where he sleeps less than he should" for example.

Fuegoleon is what Mereo can't be, in a sense. As in, sure, Mereo could be the Wizard Queen by strength, and she's stronger in a battle than Fue (which is why she's in the front lines during the last arc), but the things that make a good King or Queen extend to more than your ability to cast powerful spells/have a lot of mana (if you believe that amount of mana alone counts, then you're an Auggie supporter in my eyes). Mereo isn't interested in pushing papers, or being around in the noble circles for that matter. And she couldn't feign wanting to do so for long, because that's not the kind of a person she is.

In that sense, Fuegoleon is doing what Mereo can't. Assume the position that requires the dry and dull aspects of being a knight, along with being a skilled fighter.

And Mereo would absolutely beat up anyone slandering her brother. Disown the people as her fans. (Or just scoff because she doesn't need to prove such senseless accusations as wrong, because they're evidently wrong.) Which is why I also find it easy to just wipe the table with such opinions. Because they're missing important parts of the narrative, trying to slander characters in order to make others look better, and aren't taking the time to really understand the characters or the story or the world in which said characters live.

Every Fue fan who love the character who he is at his very core (which is more than just the handsome MK captain with a lion thematic), will be proud to love him for who he is. And we will stay proud. Do no harm but take no shit. While also picking our battles. Some are worth it and some are not.

[nebulouscoffee]

Sending the rare pair I rotate when I wanna think about Mess: Keiko/Garak

LOL okay, this one is complicated- I both ship it, and don't ship it? So what I shall do is answer all six questions😂

What made you ship it?

Let's be honest. Keiko gets a really bad deal on DS9. Like, she was THE senior civilian botanist on the flagship of the Federation and now she's stuck in the middle of nowhere, separated from all her old friends and colleagues- and growing a few plants. Not to mention, experiencing weekly traumas via proximity to the unluckiest man in the quadrant (aka, her husband). I think it's pretty explicit in canon that Keiko never wanted to move to DS9 in the first place, so in a sense- it's almost like she's... in exile. (wink, wink.)

Now, with all the complaining Garak does about his professional fall from grace, his once-respected skillset being wasted on menial, mundane work- "I used to be at the top of my field, now look at me, I'm sewing dresses!"- it's not hard to imagine him seeing a kindred spirit in Keiko. He's a very good tailor. She's a very good teacher. So good, it makes them both want to barf... or, meet up for dinner once a week in the arboretum to commiserate (and maybe have some shameful yet unexpectedly satisfying sex about it lol)

What are your favorite things about the ship?

Like you said, the Mess! It's a lot of fun to think about- I don't necessarily want it to happen, but if it did happen it would be fascinating and kind of funny, you know? It's interesting from a character study perspective- you get to explore some of the uglier sides (especially if you're gonna think about this happening in the context of getting back at Miles, maybe even Julian).

[Gonna preface this next section with the disclaimer that I adore Keiko, Miles and Garak, and none of this is character hate!!!]

So, here's the thing- I struggle to see Keiko going for Garak unless there's some element of petty revenge involved. Maybe it's the early seasons, and she's pissed off at Miles for bringing her here, pissed off at the station's Bajoran population for siding against her when Winn bombed the school, just generally feeling very frustrated and undervalued and unwanted and invisible, and it's like- yeah, what if I just stopped being the Wholesome Starfleet Wife for a second, you know? What if I went and slept with the Cardassian spy?? (Even if you want to interpret the O'Briens as having an open marriage and this not counting as cheating, Garak is still certainly... A Choice lol). Or, maybe it's the later seasons, and now it's more- what, Miles can keep putting his Starfleet career ahead of the family, risking his life, and I can't even go to the Cliffs of Undalar for work? And he's just gonna spend all his free time in the holosuites with Julian and leave me with the kids 26/7? (Whether or not Garak/Bashir are together here is flexible, though it's funny to imagine a Garak who has now decided to hold back so as to not risk their too-important friendship, and he's sooo irritated with himself for having A Sentiment and also insanely jealous of how much time Miles gets with Julian). For maximum toxic fun you can imagine Miles & Julian accidentally get drunk and hook up (and it IS cheating) so now Keiko gets with Garak as revenge!

Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?

Hmm... I guess, any Garak/woman ship would inherently be an unpopular opinion to those who view him as exclusively into men? But imo even if we are reading him as such (and that's definitely a valid read haha), there's still the fact that he would absolutely date a woman just to be petty. Like, let's not forget the one and only time he ever looked at Ziyal with anything resembling romantic interest was when they linked hands in front of Dukat- his whole vibe changed there, like he really did that just to piss Dukat off! Garak is all about theatre and unpredictability and poking people just to get reactions out of them lol, I can definitely see him pulling out all the stops to make himself and Keiko the most fabulous femme 4 femme couple on the station. Like not only would he date her, he would date her very publicly- he would aggressively channel ALL that courtly old-fashioned charm and lay it on really thick. He would offer her his handkerchief. He would pull out her chair. He would make her the most gorgeous dresses. He would treat her to fancy dinners on all the promenade restaurants and grow her extremely rare flowers in the arboretum. He would learn her preferences in bed. He would literally go out of his way to make Miles O'Brien look So Bad😂😂

Why don't you ship it?

Honestly, the problem is just me- I am but a soft-hearted loser who just wants for Keiko O'Brien to be happy lmaooo

Like obviously I do enjoy reading/writing stories where my blorbos are awful, but fundamentally I love seeing them healing and growing and making each other better, sadly. And while Garak is inarguably changed for the better after getting exiled to DS9, Keiko is unfortunately someone I can see becoming worse as a result of the show's events- and I just don't like thinking about it becauseee ahhh it makes me saddddd!!!

What would have made you like it?

Tough to answer since I do like it- thankfully it's not canon, so I can just have fun thinking about the toxic mess of it all without having to write it or keep guiltily glancing at poor lil Molly O'Brien like "baby girl I am so sorry I did this to your parents' marriage😭😭"

Despite not shipping it, do you have anything positive to say about it?

It's intriguing, it's fun, it centres Keiko in a way that the show (and indeed fan content) rarely ever does- and I guess it doesn't have to be ALL dark! Like I can imagine it originally starting that way, with Garak and Keiko treating each other so well just to spite Miles/Julian- but then it unexpectedly turns into a genuine friendship where they prioritise each other in ways they've never been prioritised (or allowed themselves to be prioritised) before, and they actually end up making more sense of their own desires as a result? There's that one episode where Keiko goes to the trouble of making zabu stew for Rugal... I can just imagine her making some Cardassian food or the other for Garak and him being kinda 🥺 about it. Who knows, maybe they'll all have a laugh about this around the O'Briens' (or the Garak/Bashir) dinner table someday! God I'm boring

[cutepastelstarsalior]

Clone high season 2 live blogging

Episode 6

:( the dinner is going to be sold

Yeah I can see why some people don’t like the dinner because of the racial segregation….

Did some guy just buy to eat the dead wife????

👀 disabled Joan!??? Let’s goooooo!!!!! Detective Joan!!!! Awe cute Joan had a cat <3

“Psylly legs is build up nostalgia the legs get psylly”

….So Joan is just stimming???? (I thought she’d had restless leg syndrome)

If people bullied Joan because of her medical stuff, why didn’t Joan help Ghandi when people hated on him for his adhd? Also man does this town have an ableist history…..

Blood pack!!!!! Same big mood with the doctor not handling blood 😩

Yay Joan’s weird French films!!!! DAVID FUCKING TENNANT???!!!!!! <3 ohmgggg I love him as 10

Heyyy trash Mandy Moore lady is back!! :0

Did I meant I love the colors in this show? I do…

Noooooo jfk cheating on Joan? Wait…or not? Hmmm I feel like kissing another girl is bad…..FUCK is this is Total Drama and the Bridgette and Geoff scene >:( damn it!!! (Yes I know that they are 2 different shows but listen……hyperfixation™️ also my mom thought CH was TD lol)

Yay jfk and Harriet told Joan the truth….oh no Joan is going through so many emotions and drinking :0 hmmm 👀 (idk why but the little montage of Joan going rapid through different emotions feels like something bpd???)

Episode 7

Confucius parents took his sister to Bali but not him :( awwww his family didn’t care if he got lost in the dessert. Man Confucius family sucks, no wonder he tried to hard to be popular online, he just wanted attention :(

:( Abe and Joan army friends anymore noooo. Damn. Abe lost Joan and Ghandi, this dude is going through it….

My favorite background clone is Cathrine the Great, I think her design is so cute <3

The bus crash and now JFK brain is bigger….i think you have internal bleeding there bud…

“As a woke straight male ally let me put my lips on this unconscious black women to show how woke and straight I am” ……..topher bud….

Why is George Washtion Clever peanut man getting bigger??

Mr b using a short to cover his head <3

Ew why is jfk vice like that….

“Lo-fi haunted ghost screams” 👀

Smart jfk…Joan taking the lead. I feel like something bad will happen OR this is a dream.

:0 DJ Mr b!!!!!!

Cannibal dessert zombies….. scary!!

JFK calling people darling is cute :) <3

If jfk brain is smarter while in hot weather/if he’s overheating why didn’t this happen when he’s in the gym or doing sports? 👀

Smart jfk face : ☺️🫤

The husbands trying to snort each other 😏👀

Arroyo are gully in southwestern us….meaning the clone home is somewhere between Texas and California….

Joan wants someone who is emotionally intelligent and emotionally available….she and Abe become friends again……I’m guess they’ll end up together?

Episode 8

Oh snap they actually broke up! Also they co-own a tortoise? Cute

..,,,making the whole school sexual……😬 interesting…

“Where do you want the seaman to drop their load”

“For starters in my mouth” HA….🫵🤨 I know what you are doc

Frida having a crush on Cleo! Was not expecting that…Cleo doing her weird flirting again…was DEFINITELY not expecting that….

Harriet x Confucius is a cute ship….their such nerds <3

😬😬😬 the teacher flirting with Abe…:ma’am that not ok

“Virginity is a social construct” asexual Abe real!!!!!!!

I was going to say seaman I love you but I realize that sounds absolutely horrible out of context….

Singing pirates I love you and you talking about lgbt identity..

Topher the pirates thing you’re into Abe….. 👀

JOAN DONT PUT THE TOURTISE IN THE WATER JOAAAAAANNNNNNN!!!!!!! Oh thank goodness Abe rescued the pet

“It’s ok if a minor and a teacher are together” not the fuck it’s not lady!!! Topher why are you filming this???? Call the police????? Topher please 😬😬

Oh thank god she dead. But ahhhhhhhh still hella uncomfortable!!!!!!!!!

The “statutory-rape-death-by-orgasm situation is very troubling” MR B WITH THE FACTS!!!!!!

“So we’re not telling the police?” You can Mr b! Please call the police. Mr b I love you so much for looking out for the students.

Topjer blackmailing Abe because he (topher) is into Joan…..🤨🤨 are you topher?? Are you really??

One one hand, I’m like this is a stupid subplot, Abe just tell Joan how you feel who care about topher and his blackmail. But on the other hand, this situation kind of feels realistic? Like a weird way to talk about victim blaming?

Oh thank god something positive in this shit show….yippie Cleo and Frida got together!!!

Joan underwater with the emotional music…her screaming underwater…..cinema™️ :) Joan and jfk having a nice talk :)…:noooo rip Shelly the tortoise

Background gay couple yay :)

Episode 9

Noooo the husbands are fighting AGAIN….oh yay Joan and Mr b time!!!

Omg Mr b lore!!!!

He has a human twin brother??? HES RELIGIOUS????? Oh snap biracial Mr b 👀

Wait nevermind…. Awww Mr b didn’t know he was a robot :( and nether did his twin

:( noooooooo!!!!!!!! He left his brother 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

OH MY FUCKING GOD Mr b was a sex worker

Noooo Mr b please contact your brother!!!!!

Awew yay Mr b life getting better!!! :0 he got married!!!

Noooo his wife cheated on his and his son wasn’t biological his!!! :(

YES!!!! The twins reunited!!! :0 awew he’s an uncle now!!! Wow 2 nices and 2 nephews!!

NOOOOOOOOOOO HES BROTHER DIED!!!!!!

👀 Mr b was an actor!!!!

🥺 awww he thinks of Joan as his daughter!!!!!!

NO MR B DONT DO IT!!!!!!!!

Oh thank god doc saved him!!!!!!! 🥺

Oh my goddd…..the cliff!!! The choices!!!!!!!

THETE FAMILY AND HE CRIED!!!!

Favorite episode!!!!!!!!

Episode 10

Oh thank god, it’s the last one!!!!

Ponce’s dad is back!!! :)

It’s the last day of the school year…the teens are 16, so there sophomores???

Clone high college :0 oh!!! I was wonder what would happen to the senior class!!

West Dakota?????

Since the sisters didn’t make it into the death maze, do they life? Get immediate killed? I forgot that the government is trying to groom the most successful clones. So I guess this is a survival of the fittest….and since the OG clones were from the first project, this is a very new things. (Trying to make a mental timeline thing.)

The four amgias….

NOOOOO VINCENT DIED (maybe not?)

4 boys who are friends-ish

4 girls who are friends

Battle of the sexist 👀

Also both groups are the main cast….ok not topher he’s more of a side character…but still..

Yay Abe and jfk friendship :)

Ok so this is my 2 favorite episode.

This gives me minor hunger games vibes. The whole government watching kids fight to the death part; not the trying to stop the government and corrupt dystopia part…

Oh hey! That weird one type flute thing, forgot about that! :)

Frida has 2 different shoelaces :)

Joan leaving the group because Frida chose her girlfriend over Joan. I mean, that understanding to be angry, but I don’t think she should leave the group….

Yessss jfk breaking topher phone!! :) now Abe won’t be blackmail anymore!!!

Gay energy jfk x Abe

Lone wolf Joan….hmm maybe she is the most powerful/sussefual clone they made? 👀

Joan setting traps to capture her friends!!!! She IS the most dangerous clone!!!

Ok Joan keeps putting people into holes, either she doing that so she the only one to hit the button and go to college OR she doing that to save everyone from the death maze?

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHJHH Joan foster mom standing by Joan, using her daughter and grooming her to be the next leader!!! AHHHHHH I love it!!!!!!! Sidhaisn

!!!!!!!!! Them using the clones as backups!!!! Me think how it was weird that the government would let a clone die so easily!!! They won’t!!!!! The government controlling them to be successful puppets!!!!!! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! The angst, and tension!!! The betrayal!!!!! Love it!!!!!

👀🥺 doc think of the clones as his children!!!!!!

They lost their memories!!! But Joan giving it back!! Her caring about her friends!!!!

Oh my god the stupid little hands gesture!!!!!! <3

….

That’s it??? THATS the ending? The mother showing everyone what Joan did during the death maze? And everyone being anger at her?

Ok, I feel like the twist to that, if there a season 3 is that her friends will forgive her.

Ok! Thought time!!!!

Ok, the fist half of this so is ROUGH! Like it has an idea (government wanting to groom the kids to be a successful leader) but the comedy and drama got a bit out of hand for the plot. I think want to say around 7-8 is when the show gets more, lore like? Or as close to plot as possible.

This season is VERY Joan centric. It gave her SO much character development. At first I thought it wouldn’t work, it made Joan feel like one of those not like other girls, and loser girl gets popular troupe. The whole love triangle with jfk and Abe was a bit rough. It was weird that Joan decided to be with jfk, after sleeping with him on prom night. But I guess since Abe was with Cleo and Abe only paying attention to Joan after she change herself, it make a TINY bit of scene.

The writing try to make it seems like Joan still loves Abe with that sexual dream she had, but I feel like after that episode, it wasn’t brought up again until episode 7. When Joan wanted jfk to be more emotionally invested in her. Also the whole Abe being in love with Joan? Also the random Abe getting mistreated it felt…..odd?

As for the other characters; out of the OG cast (Abe, ghandi, Joan, Cleo, jfk) only jfk had some character development. At first he was sexual with some emotional intelligence (when he comforts Joan at prom, him and Abe talking in the thinking dock, the whole ponce situation)….in season 2 he was more sexual with some minor emotional scene. I feel like episode 7-10 is were jfk is the most emotionally here.

Cleo….she basically only has 2 episodes for her character development. Episode 4, and Episode 7-8. In episode 4, she gets the crown and gets power hungry, after Joan apologizes to Cleo, she and Joan become friends-ish. In season 1 Cleo and Joan spend a lot of time together, because their parents were dating. They mostly argue but were friends-enemy? So Season 2 feel both a continuation of their season 1 relationship AND just a way to re-write Joan and Cleo relationship.

As for the other episodes? It basically her and Frida because friends to lovers. To be honest while the ship is cute, I wish it was more slow burn?

As for the new clones Harriet and Confusious. I’m mixed. Togher they make a cute couple. But separately I like them more as individuals. Harriet is the most developed out of the 3 new clones. She was awkward and a bit anxious (I think?) around episode 1, then as the show progressed she only hang around Frida, then she became closer friends with Joan. In episode 5 it’s really were Harriet feels the most….developing? She gets angry and worried over feeling Joan about how she feeling about the play! But she expresses herself and that cool!! She also has a weird little friendship with Frida, the 2 of them make a weird little group.

Confusions. At first I didn’t like, he was just a random guy who I hate his outfit. By episode 5, he gets some personal! He wants to have people pay attention to him! And by episode 6- 7, that when you know I bit more about him! He has a rich family who ignores him! His family likes his sister more and seem to emotionally neglect him. He’s a bit lazy and like to go with the flow and not have to work.But besides that…..I can’t think of anything else to say?

Frida. She’s…..there. She hangs out with Abe and Joan and Cleo sometimes. She paints, skateboards, and is the most popular girl in school. Besides that? There not a lot of info about her. It seems like this season had a few too many characters so they made Frida fade into the background…

At first I hate the new Joan new mom. (Candid? I can’t remember her name) I felt like she was a random character that didn’t need to be there. I felt like she was just there to replace the doc and just be annoying? But as the show progressed she was more of a background character that was silly. As for the final; I feel that were she shines the most!! Her wanting her foster daughter to rule the world, that idea is so cool!!!!! I love how she talk to Joan, how proud she was, and how she was going to use the clones as backup or to try to make them more perfect!!! She’s a character a feel like could work If she wasn’t stuck in a comedy.

My b my beloved <3

Topher is a dick. Hate how he blackmails Abe and try to push him and the gross teacher thing. Hate hate the show decided to do that. Like man!! If topper was really into Joan and wanted to blackmail Abe he could have done it a different way!!!!

The humor in this show….don’t feel there? I had like, a few chuckles but that was mostly because from the Doc. Or like from physical gags like the slow float or the couch catching on fire. The animation is fluid and I could see it like, a few times. The colors are a bit brights but I love the background!!! As for the voice acting….its a hit or miss.

5/10

Very Rough start but love the final 3 episodes.

[fictionkinfessions]

(Warning: this post contains mentions of homophobia, transphobia, bullying, and emotional neglect, as well as general issues with ahistoricism and cultural ignorance within the fictionkin community. Also, this only applies to sources that are meant to take place in a relatively realistic setting or are based on a real-world reigon/time period! If that's not you, feel free to ignore this.)

Hm... I was scrolling around and saw an ask from a really long time ago, and it made me want to say something.

Obviously I'm okay with people using whatever labels and pronouns they want for their kins! It's their kintype, so it's their business, sure, fine, all cool with me. However, even if you do remember being LGBTQ+, you have to take the time period and location into account.

For example, hello, I'm Kennith. I was born in 1969 in an average suburban town in Michigan. Nowadays, in this life, I'd say that I was demigreyromantic, gay, genderfluid, transmasc, and generally gnc, and I would've used he/they pronouns.

However, back when I was still alive as a teenager in the 80s, I knew the word gay and... yeah, that really was about it. If you had asked me then, I would've described the rest of that stuff as "I'm not really that much of a romance guy" and "I'm a guy who was born as a girl and hated it, but I still don't mind looking like a girl sometimes", and I used strictly he/him back then since "I'm a guy and that's what you call guys", because again, I was a teenager in the 80s, and I had no idea any of this stuff was even an option.

And, quick reminder, this is a relatively modern time frame, and it's in the United States. You may have all of these really cool microlabels and neopronouns to describe yourself now, and there's nothing wrong with that! It's never too late to discover who you truly are/were. However, you have to realize that you sure as hell weren't using those labels as, say, a member of ancient Japanese royalty. In terms of both the time frame and the language itself, that's just not how that would've worked.

Also, not to get overly negative, but chances are, if you are from sometime back in the day, even if it's as relatively recent as I was, people would most likely have not been accepting of you. I know people weren't accepting of me. I was bullied ruthlessly in school by nearly everyone for being gay and presenting myself femininely despite being transmasc. "Pretty Boy" was actually the tamest of the awful names they would call me, and it didn't even stop at insults. They would deliberately misgender and deadname me at every opportunity, bump me into walls and shit like that, and I even remember them beating me up a few times. My teachers and counselor did absolute jack-shit, and basically told me that I deserved it since I was so "different" (which is the word they used instead of calling me slurs! fun!). My parents were never much help either since A: I wasn't out to them, and B: they never gave a shit about literally anything else. The only people who respected me at all during that time were Stephanie and Greg, but I was barely able to see Greg outside of the gas station he worked at, and I've already gone into what ended up happening with fucking Stephanie... ugh.

Anyways, once again I say, this was in the United States in the 1980s. If people didn't accept me there and then, the chances of people accepting you for who you in another place and/or an earlier time are next to nothing. I'm sorry, it fucking sucks that it had to be that way, but it's true. I'm obviously not saying that you're not valid if you did have people who accepted you, I'm just saying that it's highly unlikely, given historical context.

I'm sorry for ranting once again, and I'm sorry if I said anything hurtful. The last thing I want to do is invalidate anyone. This is just something to consider, I guess... Ah well, who am I to tell you guys what you can and can't do? If I was still alive I'd be like 54 years old. Old Man Yells at Cloud.

-Kennith Simmons

[tavina-writes]

Today I am thinking about the eternal blorbo, Huang Yaoshi from LOCH and just. God, what a guy. How could I ever possibly explain why I am so feral about him?

Especially thinking about these lines today:

Ouyang Feng said with a laugh, “Xiong-di left for the west this morning and took a rest at a schoolhouse. I heard this rotten scholar teach the students to be loyal ministers and filial sons. Xiong-di loathes hearing such things, so I killed this rotten scholar. You and I are the Eastern Heretic and the Western Poison, we both are of the same kind.” Then he let out a long laugh. Huang Yaoshi’s face changed, he said, “All my life, I always respect loyal ministers and filial sons.” Stooping down he dug a hole with his hand, buried that man’s head, and respectfully bowed three times. Ouyang Feng lost interest in him, but he laughed and said, “The Old Heretic Huang has enjoyed a false reputation, turns out he also adheres to propriety and etiquette.” Huang Yaoshi imposingly said, “Loyalty and being filial is integrity, it is not propriety and etiquette!”

The reason this sticks out to me SO MUCH is because. Well okay this is difficult to explain without going on 20 different tangents but:

1) Huang Yaoshi is heretical. He hates social customs, being polite, or bothering with people in general. He's downright rude to people about 99.5% of the time, and MOST of the time people simply have to put up with him because lolsob his martial arts are godly and his temper is horrible and he WILL kill you without blinking for being irritating to him.

BUT critically: 'loyalty and filial piety is integrity' and not propriety or etiquette. Being a loyal minister or a filial son is not a thing you are for show and what he HATES is people who do shit for show! Like his daughter, Huang Rong, Huang Yaoshi really admires and likes people who are genuinely committed to doing good even if he's PERSONALLY /hand wobble/ on how great being a good person is as a personal commitment.

2) This whole thing about 'loyal ministers and filial sons' things drives me INSANE in the context of HYS's backstory. Which is that his grandfather was a minister in the Song Government who defended General Yue Fei from being executed (this is widely considered unjust, both from a Chinese Folk History standpoint and inside the narrative of LOCH itself) and then Huang Yaoshi's grandfather was executed for speaking for Yue Fei in front of the emperor. After this, Huang Yaoshi's family was driven from their home in disgrace. Later, when he came of age, he refused to take the imperial exams and become a minister, he fought with his father and was disowned. This is how Huang Yaoshi ended up in the jianghu to begin with! He comes from a long lineage of rich (if slightly disgraced) literati. He clearly changed his name after he was disowned and left home -- 'yaoshi' means 'medicine teacher' and is NOT a real name you give your children lolsob. These experiences shaped his contempt for society and how he treats Huang Rong in the book (with all the love and attention and general acceptance of her character and life path that his father clearly never gave him.)

THIS is why I am so feral about that line.

He was never allowed to be either a loyal minister or a filial son.

AND YET, despite these experiences, some part of him still really respects people who want to be these things, who are these things, who can spend their time on this earth with integrity and honor.

There are of course, other reasons why I'm feral about him -- his horrible pathetic mental breakdowns, leaping to batshit conclusions, absolutely bonkers crimes, and depth of love for his spoiled conwoman princess have endeared him to me -- but this axis of cynicism and yet ADMIRATION for people who are NOT cynical. Just. yes.