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#for the love of god i cant not be the only weird one in my family
slavhew · 29 days
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do you ever get reminded of a ship, remember a piece of fanart of it that you loved, then after a day long search realize that you just imagined it? and then try to draw it yourself?
prllb btbtt ALT VERISONS
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pcktknife · 1 year
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anyways it's fucked up how u can be age 13-16 and just not have been an emo/edgy/cringy kid like why tf are you so normal
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jackkal · 5 hours
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being the least competitive person alive in a family of ppl who would kill each other if it meant winning did not do a single good thing for me as a person it turns out
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triglycercule · 3 days
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i love doodling swapinverse like hello drawing characters aside from the normal mtt is lowkey therapeutic 🧡🧡🧡 anyways i FINALLY FINALLY finished crash's lore!!!! and vice.SER is connected to him,,,, theyre interconnected!!! i forgot how much i liked crash's design (not the design but all the little gimmicks in the design. figuring out all the hanging ribbon bits is annoying but hey it looks good)
#outertale does not exist in swapinverse anymore. how quaint#dude thalia and melpomene are th only ones that r like. 100% good#I NEED TO MAKE MORE GOOD AND NICE CHARACTERS😭😭😭😭#mst..... recreators (qip name 4 siphon n crash?) and vice.SER........ theyre all EVIL (or have evil goals)#i WAS thinking doing something with reaper because i adore his design and aesthetic and i wanna combine it with SOMETHING idk what#anyways if core frisk error which is supposed to be vice.SER exists then should normal core frisk exist too?????#i mean i dont think that just because a core frisk role esque person exists doesnt mean the role is instantly filled up#the mst and mtt co exist in swapinverse but those 3 are like.... NORMAL aus. not outcodss n stuff#i love the giant lance thing i gave crash. i mean the ribbons can form any weapon and take any shape (kinda like puella magi mami's guns)#but like..... it just is so cool i love characters that use multiple weapons#i LOVE (haha) every single little gimmick thing i give swapinverse characters. the tiny details is what i adore giving them#if you catch me not posting 4 a bit its probably just bc im working on swapinverse or jk fashion au. or maybe ive seriously just lost motiva#anyways i have a few banger rants in my drafts ive yet to elaborate om but just like....... i dont feel like it#someon needs to wrangle those posts out of my tired lazy arms#lowkey why do siphon and crash remind me of kanade and mafuyu. idk i cant explain#if you cut vice.ser in half it would be like jelly with binary in it. i wanna eat him#he would tingle on my tongue but thats just the static. eating yhe glasses would be difficult bit they dont have lenses so its ok#i drew them both looking at us but i think that vice.ser is the only true one always looking at US.looking out from inside#god i love swapinverse sooo much i wish i could get it done faster and be goatedly good with motivation. a shame#but i do think that i may be finishing up the character descriptions 500% ish sure#SO THEN THAT MEANS I CAN WORK ON THE ACTUAL STORY!!!! WOOOOO#ive already decided that theres gonna be mentions of me myself and i in it. i love meta storytelling#im cursed with perpetually sweaty hands i hate having to draw on slighty damp paper. nobody understands me#UGH im getting too happy in life im starting to act weird in public and offering to help people. i need to stop#anyways just school doodles!!! because in the period where they take our phones i have naught to do but draw#i need to get back (start) my english reading. and then help my friend with a few questions on her homework. how joyous#and then i can get back to my BETTER homework (working on swapinverse :3)#crash managed to destroy outertale in his lore i wonder how many worlds vice.SER will destroy#actually if hes supposed to be core frisk error then i should make him NOT destroy worlds right???? right#tricule rant
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wabblebees · 8 months
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#have been attempting to make a self-tape for this audition for DAYS#after a whole helluva lotta bullshit having to do with hunting down a time+space+camera to film with i Finally managed to get some takes#then some weird bullshit with the camera's sd card happened where i wasnt able to pull the files off onto my laptop#FINALLY able to copy the files to my laptop. FINALLY able to access playback (the video camera i borrowed wouldnt let me access its gallery#FINALLY watching them... they all kinda suck so far but thats Fine at least i Have Them yk#get to take 7 and its actually not nearly as terrible as the previous 6!! feelin pretty good abt this one!! dont get hopes too high ofc but#i mean hey this ones acceptable if the last few arent any good either & just in case i cant go thru with my plans for tmrw to do a reshoot#so yk i start to rename the file so i can tell which clip it is!#Whole Laptop Crashes#WAHOO#typed this up to avoid freakin out while carefully rebooting her. bbg dont do this to me#luckily i already saved multiple contingency copies just in case (bc ive already had so many issues i was feelin Extra Cautious)#so i at least dont have to worry about dealing with the sd card bullshit Again. ugh#EDITING TO SAY: SHE LIVES!! laptop is fine after powering back up & files are unscathed!! was able to retitle & keep on truckin no problem#god i hate dealing with video as a medium#*this* is why im a stage performer not a screen actor lmao#fuck this shit. juust gimme a floor and an audience and ill make it worrk#cameras are fickle creatures on-par with printer machines#im rly excitednervous abt this audition tho; only submitted my resume+headshot on a whim & didnt rly think anything would come of it#but they contacted me and asked for a tape!! so im like !!!!! okayy sure id love to send that !!! i just have to face The Horrors first#if i dont get it then thats not the end of the world or anyth; but itd be SO FUCKING COOL if my v first submission landed me my first gig!!#so uhh. pls put out a good thought to the universe for my self-tape landing me the chance to perform in this queer play festival !!#bee speaks#🤞🤞🤞
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mainfaggot · 4 months
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just watched challengers at the cinema w my little sister. it was so intense wtf
#i was like grabbing onto my scalp just yanking my hair in the last 5 mins and at the end i yelled (quietly) LOVE WINS!#bc there were only 4 other ppl in the cinema lol#its so fucking stupid on the surface like ok complicated polyamory and also insane obsession with a sport bc that is what makes these people#who they are; as in the sport IS their identity as individuals that's what fills the void that lies underneath skin and bone etc.#blah blah basic shit about messy relationships with the self and romantically with others#but it's also so profound because despite the many obstacles and personality differences. they all love one another and the sport so much.#it's so weird it's twisted in a sense because it's like they only have one another and then obviously tennis (bc tennis is the bridge)#it's very.. codependent#i can't believe my little sister understood like not in a condescending way i cant believe she got it but in a “oh i didnt know you watched#stuff with this much emotion and that you cared enough to critique media“ since she doesn't usually tell me about what shes watching#and when she does she tells me about sitcoms ..#so yeah it was nice that we watched it together but also kind of weird bc#well surface level: the make out scenes were just us giggling awkwardly#and on a deeper level when i was watching it. i couldn't help but think about how#patrick at some point turned into an observer; he stopped being a part of the art tashi patrick trio (and tennis!) and turned#into a spectator#despite very much still being a fellow player#and then tashi became a spectator of the sport despite very much being absorbed in it all and in love with art (?)#i dont know what else to call it but her need to control him came from a place of some kind of care ... albeit manipulative and self serving#so Patrick and tashi are almost parallel lines if that makes sense#theyre kicked out of “the club” whatever the club may be (for Patrick he's no longer in the trio) and for Tashi once the trio is long gone#she's no longer a competitor bc of her injury#and then art is just in the middle of it all#and he'd always followed Patrick's lead in the past and then he started thinking for himself until he became so taken by Tashi#and then he just became her little follower#he just wants to be loved and told what to do because he doesn't know how else to live. im projecting? im projecting. anyway!#the ending. god. the ending sums up their whole past dynamic:#patrick is petty. art is irritated. tashi doesn't get their little dynamic. patrick loves art. art is forgiving. tashi loves the sport#(and maybe she loves them both in her own fucked up control freak way)#z.post
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skeletalheartattack · 2 years
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I definitely think you should revisit the idea of jailbreaking your wii. It's incredibly easy to do, virtually impossible to cause damage if you follow a guide, and will leave your wii with all its existing functionality. Before I bought a new computer earlier this year, the Wii was my main emulation machine for everything from GBA to GameCube to actual Wii games. As long as you have an SD card and an SD card reader, you can get games running on the hardware with no notable differences to using legit methods, without having to pay extortionist rates for classic games. Additionally, all the cool wii ware and discontinued stuff is made accessible again via homebrew things so really, you'd only be improving your wii with no downsides whatsoever
yknow, i think i might look into doing so at some point, especially since at the very least there are some playstation 2 games that are also on gamecube... although idk my how much they differ in content but yeah! it'd also allow me to play animal crossing city folk again.... and twilight princess......
thank you for telling me!!!
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chryzure-archive · 2 years
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isnfindifjdijd face in my pillow and screaming bc actually what if i don’t deserve to give myself a present for my birthday? is that cheating? will it even feel special to me?
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poems-of-a-lover · 1 year
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waiting for the day i can consume cis gay media and not get insanely jealous, dysphoric, or both
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caninecowboy · 2 years
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24 days!
#em#milo.txt#im thinking about em again. i mean when am i not they're always on my mind#god they make me so fucking happy#ive been having such a shitty past few weeks but talking to them has helped#it feels. incredibly magical to have a love as strong as ours#they called me a good boyfriend today and they just. get me yknow?#in ways no one has ever. in ways i didnt even expect! in ways that feel full of love#i love how we've become entangled in one another. it really feels like there's no true me without them and vice versa yknow?#like yeah yeah yeah im my own person. kickass grad student whos queer as fuck and hot and theyre their own person.#fucking amazing scientist beautifully radiant individual whos so kind and gentle and fuckn CUTE ((they sent me a selfie this morning#and i was like HEY GIVE A GUY A WARNING OKAY!!! I NEED MY BRAIN FOR SCHOOL! CANT BE TAKING MY BREATH AWAY LIKE THAT#AND RENDERING ME SPEECHLESS!! theyre sooooo cute. i see them and im like ohmygod youre so fucking... youre so pretty youre so cute youre so#hot youre literally every word that is escaping my mind right now and i have never seen something as breathtaking as them))#ANYWAY!!! it still feels like half of me is missing when they're not with me yknow? and its true#half of me IS missing... they are !! they're my other half they're my beloved they're my lavender they're my fucking bestie#it really sucks being this far from them and not having them in my life in person but soon! soon.#theyll be in the same city as me again and we'll go for drives and we'll go grocery shopping together#and get weird looks because we just. get so GOOFY together#godddd i love when we would try to forage for fucking food in [redacted] at like 10 pm but eVERYTHING CLOSES SO EARLY#like that time we went to taco bell and they only took cash so we had to pivot#god i just miss that shit!!!! i miss that with them !!! i miss laughing and being happy and having no worries and feeling. GOOD#i love that i can just look at them and they KNOW what i'm thinking like i dont even have to SAY anything and they KNOW#and how genuine they know me? god. they send me reeses and hi-chews in care packages and its the ONLY time i have them bc i dont usually#buy shit for myself like that PLUS it feels like an extra special treat when i get them from them.#also the way they have helped me love myself? like fuck.#if they're capable of loving me so deeply and truly. maybe i can too yknow?#ill do things that i wouldnt have done before knowing them (like admitting i DO know things and celebrating my 48% on an exam and eating#ice cream because its going to make me happy even though theres still remnants telling me to not)#like.... they really have changed my life for the better
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gothasmo · 1 year
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If Ais potentially finds MC at the beginning and brings them to Kuras, I wonder if Kuras directs patients that are beyond his abilities to the Seaspring as a last resort as their final choice...
#just replayed the demo bc reasons#and i was considering that Kuras respects Ais and Ais helps out there#i didnt consider that maybe some of the diseased folks etc might be funneled in that direction.#presuming kuras cant fix Everything.#only background i haven't playtested an MC for yet is the hound... my unnamed is my primary and the alt is gonna be alchemist.#and bc i miss my er ocs... i did twins again#im just so Thoughts about this game for the next two years. love that for me 😭#Ais and Kuras being friendly is so weird to me. like if Kuras thinks Leander and Aid are trustworthy it makes me more comfy with them#altho watch my easy trust in Kuras get sliced to shreds in game lmao#like Kuras has been to the Seaspring... he knows what that shit is. and is apparently comfy with it enough to not hate Ais#unless Kuras is secretly some sort of terrifying sadist and Im making a critical error in trusting his perspective#I genuinely love Ais a lot and Im hoping it isnt like too terrifying with the Groupmind stuff... 💀#i like that Ais seems to want MC to keep their identity and maybe accept their own monstrous aspects#but also one fear what if groupmind gets greedy the more Ais likes you#over here praying for poly route with ais and vere for one of my MCs tbh#also angel lore. are angels connected to a singular god concept?#unnamed is from a temple etc. and theoretically was manipulating worshippers into Enlightened states with their touch#before they grew to fear the power when it was exposed as a curse. eventually seeing themselves as a monster at the beginning of the demo#i just really need to know if there are multiple religions and the placement of angels therein...#like they mention an abbess at the senobium.... so like. nuns? is this just monotheistic faith for humans...?#where does the veil and fogfall fit in? if so many places for humans are destroyed with few cities theoretically...#I'm assuming youd have all sorts of superstitious faiths cropping up qnd ofc cults. like monster worshipping cults and random ones#tag rant sorry it's 3M and im in Thoughts#im terrified I'm going to get obsessed with backgrounds for these MCs that wont work with the setting. trying to keep them flexible
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nyatawia · 2 years
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Komi can’t communicate hits a little bit too close to home
#im watching the kyoto trip episode and god did i feel like that every single day of my life#im not even a second choice ik for a fact ppl were disappointed to be paired with me#I remember clear as day when one of my classmates asked the teacher why she was stuck with the weirdo#in my case its not just my imagination i faced sm rejection without even trying to approach ppl#when i was a scout girl i was always with the other girls of my age group and one day they asked me why im following them#i couldnt even cry bc there was no place where i could have privacy on that day#and these are my most vivid memories from my middle school years!#i started hating myself and life as soon as i stepped into that school#before that some ppl would dislike me bc i was a foreigner but then i had other friends i could count on#in middle school I literally had no one#i was weird chubby ugly had extreme social anxiety and didnt even answer ppls questions#life was torture#only two very sweet girls accepted me into their group and i would hang out with them sometimes i was so glad i could hang out with someone#during lunch break or whatever#idk why i went on this tangent!!! but yeah this show is bringing back some stuff man#every scene im like same komi same!!!#now im not super popular or anything but im surrounded by nice ppl who care about me and i love spending time with them even though#sometime i still feel that i cant communicate properly😭#anyways#social anxiety girlies it does get better at some point#i even have the best bf in the world now! before I thought id die alone fr#im not trying to make 100 friends like komi tho i feel like the ones i have are good for now#hfkskg
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nomairuins · 16 days
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ill be like I can totally make a lighthearted post mentioning a kink i have and i wont even freak abt it. and then i freak abt it
#its not even one of the ones i normally freak abt. fml. fml. its spreading. eventually i wont even be able to say Strals exist without going#into system shutdown or something. this sucks#this is also why i have so much trouble posting on my nsft is ill go over there and be like. Id love to **** some ***** and then i get#terrified. so i dont#my pfp over there is literally. **** ******* ** * *** but i go over there to post abt how i want to **** * *** and im like that is deviant#i cannot be saying that in front of my followers. who dollowed my nsft blog. where i list the things im into . and my pfo is * **** *******#** * *** so its not like theyd be HORRIFIED if that came up#but idk... i worry ppl dont read my dni over there. bc usually they just follow me after seeing that one post which doesnt rly mention any#of the ones im weird abt. except for like kind of it does but whatever its fine i cannottt freak out abt that post its existed for like.#months now. sigh. its all just a bit embarassing which sucks#“mdni”#IN A MASSIVE WAY. idr if any minors still r here if im still muts with any....#its just like. IDK i either feel a bit silly posting on it and its just mildly embarass Or i send myself into hysterics over how im an evil#person bc i like. well i cant say. obviously. but yk. stufffff. that i am into. I HATE TALKING ABT IT BC IT MAKES ME SOUND LIKE AN EVIL#PERSON AND LIKE. its not anything like. UGH. im not into kids or animals 👍👍👍 obviously. and idt its that bad the things im into some of#them r like basically baby shit like ohhh woww youre into *********** and yet even that i cant talk abt it bc im like um im going to be#smited by god and sent to hell or soemthing and actually i only thing its normal bc im a disgusting weird freak and everybody would kill me#immediately if they knew also im an evil person? its like. UGHHHH.#and the other stuff is. less 'mainstream' which is even scarier but ig in a way ive been More open abt it which is kind of funny. looks at.#but even then i dont rly go in detail bc yk. Stuff. im just like lol they r the way they r bc of how i am. and then i walk away forever#idk. ive been feeling so guilty over that specifically like. UGH. its not like. ugh. i rly cant talk abt it without it being obvious and im#scared byt im also like Compelled to talk abt it so ppl dont think its worse but im also compelled not to bc thats like oversharing i guess#as if thta isnt All i do on this fuckass blog. no matter what i do i lose. i hate my brain so badly i wish i could judt get over it and jus#be like yep these r the things and not have to like over clarify and explain and disclaimer everything and stuff . idk. it suck#mdni#the quotes didnt take it to the top like they used to. kms
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queenerdloser · 1 month
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"how to make your character more likable" "where do you rate likability when you think about characters" "top 20 likable characters" "likability is so important for books" "your characters absolutely must be likable or your book is a failure" "how to make unlikable characters in a likable way" i hate it here i hate it so much. i am going to rip out the throat of likability culture with my own teeth.
#it's coming to the point where i cant even handle the term 'likable'#no!!!! shut up!!!!!!#the fixation on character likability is genuinely such a bad trend for fiction#im sorry. but if you only care about whether your readership will like your characters youve lost in some way#make believable characters. make complex characters. make insane characters. make weird characters. make heartbreaking characters.#but my god stop thinking so much about if your characters are likable.#who! gives! a! shit!#the reality is some people will love or hate your character based on literally nothing than their own subjective opinion#there is no way to make a character likable to everyone. or even most people.#so just dont care about that! and we as readers really gotta stop making this the number one thing to care about in a character#i dont give a fuck if a character is likable or not. are they complex? are they a little weirdo i can rotate around in my mind for days?#do they have motivations and dreams and heartbreaks? do they feel like a real person?#all of those metrics matter 10000x more to me than if i personally like them or not.#there are perfectly unoffensive bland ass characters who exist to be likable and are boring in literally every other aspect#if you focus on likability you have to sand so many edges off of your characters#they cannot be mean or offensive or rude or harsh or weak or vulnerable or or or#bc! they have to be LIKABLE! which means they can only be strong powerful perfect lovable#wrote my own post bc i saw poll results about if characters needed to be likable and blacked out with rage lmao
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dbphantom · 3 months
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steampunkedparm · 9 months
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bluh bluh bluh sketch I started that im hoping i can make into a full peice for a friend :P saying this though has definitely cursed me into doing exactly not that blarrgh!!!
only posting in here because she fellows my art acc on insta but she doesn't have a Tumblr ;P hehe
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