#forbidden love except its me with them haha lol

[j1998v]

sniperspy swag

im pretty sure this is a taunt after my reblog tags in which case you are not funny. i clearly stated my feelings multiple times , whats wrong with you?

[lindszeppelin]

Clearly you’re getting to a few folks so congrats there — not that it’s your goal because, as you repeatedly point out, this is your blog and you can say whatever tf you want and nobody has to read it.

Re the K&A eras tour spectacle… I’m gonna throw in my 2cents.

At this point I feel like about 80-90% of what I see screams PR setup with those two. But I’ll be completely blunt and say I don’t really know wtf I’m looking at. Isn’t that kind of the point? We are on the outside looking in so we don’t know what actually goes on between these two. We don’t know and we may never know — unless one of them spills the tea and that’s no doubt forbidden in such arrangements.

I have a feeling that when all this started it seemed like a fine idea for both of them. Austin probably very much needed to have someone around who could handle herself on a red carpet and wasn’t expecting a lifetime commitment (in that case, youth a definite plus). I believe they are both avid readers, they have fame and celebrity in common, they understand themselves as commodities of the entertainment industry, they both travel for work, etc. My point is they would have enough shared interests and work experiences to get along nicely, and even genuinely date.

Now, I ask you, how is a 20-year-old NOT going to fall in love with him in these circumstances? We’re all gaga over him and we’ve never even gotten to hold his hand, talk to him, sit next to him, or *gasp* kiss him. Austin isn’t an asshole (by EVERYONE’s account at this point except V), so I think he’s not going to be disrespectful or cold or rude or even withhold affection from her, cameras or not.

Even if this was always a “real” relationship, it could only ever be a rebound (from both V and Elvis). Because he had just painfully ended a NINE YEAR relationship and was coming down off the most intense acting gig of his life and rushing headlong into film promotion.

But the fact that he may have benefitted from the lack of challenge and longevity of an arranged situation at that time is exactly what may be so bothersome now. How can someone as young and privileged as K provide the kind of supportive partnership that a man of substance would require? He’s been through so much more than she has. I don’t mean to suggest that famous young people don’t have pain and hardship, too. But the difference in what he has endured and what she has endured is stark.

He’s a kind human, and he can no doubt truly enjoy witnessing a bunch of people have an absolute blast at the TS concert. Despite the few moments of PDA, he looked a lot more like a big brother escorting lil sis to the concert than he looked like a man swooning over his love. And anyone who has seen a few extremely vivid photos of him and V knows that K&A simply do not click on even remotely the same level. So however it started, whatever it is, it really seems to have a limited shelf life.

Bottom line: I have no idea because I’m not either one of them and it isn’t my life, or my business. In my case the only reason I’m even thinking about them this much is because there are things in my own life I am currently desperate to avoid. That’s okay, that’s kind of a great advantage of being a fan, but I feel like a lot of people do not know how to make that distinction. That’s okay too but when you come into anon asks and insult people, you’re fucked up.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

honestly MJ my darling, im just trying to blog normal stuff in between all these asks and it seems like its never ending lol idk how this ended up spiraling the way it did but well, here we are. since you took the time to send me a well thought out ask, im going to give you a well thought out response and let that be it for tonight haha

i don't know if i would necessarily say that the point is for it to be grey area. i think personally when it comes to a relationship you're either with somebody or you're not. you're either in love with somebody or you're not. there are nuances to each of those sides on the spectrum, but generally you will know without hesitation or doubt what you're looking at. and because they keep it teetering on grey area of "are they or are they not PR?" then that is deceptive. in my opinion. the idea in PR is to keep them in the media's eye whenever often.

i absolutely agree that in the beginning austin probably was onboard with the set of facts that he was given. i mean, how can you truly know somebody that you're with and know if you're going to like them long term when he was presented with the choice? he probably thought it wasn't a horrible deal - she gets press from being seen with the new it guy and breaks into the acting world like she wants, and he gets a girl on his arm for the red carpet stuff. she probably seemed unassuming, and i highly doubt he did not know anything about the crawford/gerbers. like i said, over the period of time you start to see for real who these people are and who you're dealing with. he might have been cool in the beginning to be in the PR thing, but then as time went on and he's spending time with her and her family then the gears start forming. and the "oh shit, im in a bind here" starts to crop up.

and yes you're right, what young person wouldn't want to be in that deal? she dates the hot new guy on the block and gets press from it, then moves on to the next. cookie cutter process. austin was only in genuine relationships, how the hell would he know that this would turn out to be a disaster (or ZIZZASTER as grandma lois would say). austin is a very nice guy, and to your point exactly, he would not be outright rude to her. does he walk away from her, wear a mask and disguise around her, and other such things he does as his own form of acting out? yes, i think it's safe to say that austin doing what he can to distance himself from her in a respectful way is his way of saying "i do not agree with this, nor do i want to be here".

you are also correct with this point - how can a young girl like her know how to provide and support a grown ass man of his caliber? she doesn't, simply. she has never dated anybody like austin before, and she is simply not experienced enough in life to know how to do that yet.

and big bro escorting little sis is right. i also saw it as he looked like her bodyguard hanging around while she does her thing lol. or babysitting gig. he is so sweet and lovely, i just want the best for him and it's clear you and so many others do as well. im so glad you took the time to message me MJ! I always value your incredible and thoughtful insights!

[eldesperadont]

headcanons that nobody asked for about my wrestling blorbos under the cut hehoo 🌈

any character i like is queer and/or ND in my head lmao but heres a few people i have proper thoughts on

NJPW

Hiromu: autistic polyam king, neither cis or het, queer queer queer

El Desperado: dealt with self worth issues and depression since he debuted on the main roster, got better in the last few years tho :)

unfortunately in love with Hiromu - gender doesnt play a role in his attraction, not big on labels

Jay White: smug disaster gay, *slaps his head* this bad boy can fit so many mental issues in it, sooo insecure and masks it all till he can't anymore, calls himself King SWITCH so imma take that literal-

No but really i have a lot of thoughts about Jays motivations, in my reading he feels like the only way to make it in njpw as a gaijin is if you disregard the rules, fans and opinions of others - he's deeply afraid of everything he did to even be a wrestler having been pointless, he may cheat to get to his goal but a title is a title, the ultimate proof of his sacrifice having been worth it.

Juice Robinson: genuinely thought about giving up on wrestling, i don't buy his 'haha i tricked u all' explanation, he either reached out to BC or — the spicier take :)c — Jay reached out to him:

He knows how its like to be at rockbottom, feeling like everythings pointless. (his post WK15 promo) The guys Jay was in the dojo with were/are people he genuinely cared about (i could bring up counless examples), so he couldnt sit by and watch Juice throw his shot away

KENTA & Naito both gimme "bastard dad that constantly messes and jokes around but actually deals with a lot of depression and anxiety and whenever he (in the most unexpected moments) brings it up it gives you whiplash, feels like forbidden lore" vibes; they are very similar and i love them a lot, ive written about that before here

also Kenta and Shibata are bitter exes

ELP: bi adhd DUMBASS. with more depth than u would think, dreads all his sacrifice not paying off in the end, similar to Jay, thats generally my theme for Bullet Club, if these dudes weren't so toxic they could be a great support system for one another

Robbie Eagles: bi nerd with the worst taste in men lmao, Ospreay's his ex, him and ELP are whatever the hell they are, obsessed definitely - ive written about them a bit here and here

BUSHI: transmasc genderfluid dude :)

Miho Abe & ZSJ: are whatever makes you fall in love with the trash emperor, they both date TAICHI

Kota Ibushi: adhd/autistic mlm king. okay no but genuinely i have so many feelings about Ibushis struggle to fit in, to do as others expect of him, being the weird one - i can relate to that so much it makes me cry

LIJ group dynamic:

Shingo and Naito are bastard brothers that annoy each other on purpose, Sanadas the younger brother both get along with

Naito and Bushi are parental figures for Hiromu, based on Naito being Takahashis mentor and Hiromu literally describing Bushi with お母さん, mother.

Shingo is Hiromus loud scary uncle, Sanada is his cool quiet uncle

Naito and Bushi are married.

also a few aedub thoughts:

all of BCC is autistic.

Kingston has adhd.

HOOK is autistic, non verbal most of the time, uses sign language.

the whole roster's queer good for them good for them (except the ones i dont like.)

my Danhausen thoughts!

EDIT: i forgot Ricky, Ricky Starks is autistic

idk that's it, i dont have many HCs for aew so far lol

[nighttimepixels]

TALK TO US ABOUT MASS EFFECT I HAVE BEEN AN INSANE MASS EFFECT/SHAKARIAN TRASH PERSON SINCE 20-FUCKING-11 AND LEMME TELL YOU THOSE FEELINGS HAVENOT TARNISHED A SINGLE FRACTION IN THOSE TEN YEARS OH MY GOOOOOOODDDSSSS!!!!!!!

I DEMAND A PLAY-BY-PLAY UP TO THE MINUTE OF YOUR REACTIONS TO EVERYTHING!!!!

you are so valid and I totally see why everyone I've ever mentioned it to loves the hell out of it

aksdjlsdfj I meannnn if you want to hear my rambling about it then hell yeah

Okay, gonna put this below the cut to save everyone else XD also- since I'm not leaving this Mass Effect obsession anytime soon, if you're not interested in seeing occasional posts about it, please feel free to block the tag "night plays ME"~

(mild spoilers ahead??)

((also for real I mean it when I say this is rambling as hell lol, apologies and no stress if absolute no one reads all this))

OKAY SO Mass Effect 1-

Stars help me, I was honestly hooked right from the start?? Like even in Legendary Edition (the combined trilogy just re-released in one "can play it on one system + minor improvements", for anyone who doesn't know) where it's smoothed out, of course it's obvious that ME1 is a decade old... but the foundation for these relationships are all there and gods I love them already.

Like - Kaiden right off the top is a delightful good fightin lad, what the hell. I've heard that he's viewed as 'bland' by a good portion of the fan community but I dunno, he's a delight and even more complex by the time 2 rolls around and you encounter him on Horizon, it was honestly Ashley I was way more meh about - mostly because before you can learn about her family history/etc, she comes off as hella xenophobic and I was immediately offended for my growing space family that she didn't like/trust all the aliens around, pfff.

(she gets redeemed a bit through further actions/evolving thoughts, but I thought in retrospect it was a bummer that they didn't flip the order there, give her a chance to be liked before the complicating factor of being so rude about aliens >:c that then she could grow from... ah well. Apparently she has a good arc but uh, let's just say I chose Kaiden at the "key junction" in the latter part of the game so I won't be seeing anymore of Ashley uh... anytime soon, haha.)

Garrus??? Is??????? The ABSOLUTE best???????????

I liked him from the start, I'm always a bit of a sucker for a rogue-detective "the system won't bring this bastard to justice, so I've got to" type and all their moral shadiness XD But he just gets better, honestly, and where I'm at in ME2 (right before the Reaper IFF mission, as of typing this, with everyone's loyalty!) I am only digging myself deeper into this hole-

-*wheezing* okay anyways -

Wrex is AMAZING I love fightin' middle-aged krogan bastard, gods. Liara is great too, I'm a sucker for a wlw relationship (playing fem!Shepard, so) - buuuut I'll admit she's a bit more one-note in ME1. Last week while I was still on ME1 I remember hearing (while trying to dodge spoilers) that her arc is really good, though. I think they leaned a little hard on the 'innocent but sexy' sterteotype on her (so despite the yikes aspect of a few of the things I've learned in ME2, lol, I actually really like the complexity that's been added to her character.)

Saved Liara first, so by the time I got to Noveria and had the standoff with Benezia there was the chance to have emotions over Liara having to face her TwT and of course, I made the questionable but quality decision to free Queen Rachni heheh. no ragrets

More than a blow-by-blow of my choices though I totally wanna take the chance to say that even in the mild jankiness of ME1 (goddammit, the Mako.... please..... please just go up this impossible cliff I just want to resource hunt-) the way that the lore, both obvious/key to main plot and the lesser/filler/background/world-building kinds... I just love it. It incorporates it well, you can go ham in the codex learning more, or just dive into the basics - it's clearly a complex galaxy (and they do an even better job in 2 of fleshing it out further), and it never really felt overwhelming. It was pretty natural figuring it all out-!

Plus the interesting implications of resource hunting amongst the sapient races, and the little side missions you better bet I did every one of- there's so much rich depth in the story if you do 'em!! (And that lead with that Keeper side mission...? Looking back, damn, clever foreshadowing-!!!)

And oh my gods, Ilios??? hell yeah. I loved that mission so much, especially having Garrus & Kaiden with me when talking to the hologram/computer, and more than anything, that last sprint in the Mako trying to get to the jump before it closed-???

yeet the boi-

Also mannn I love a good setpiece, and having to go up the side of the elevator, space-side?? such a cool setup!!

Plus it felt good having been Paragon enough (as simple as the good v bad vibe system is, I don't hate it, lol) to avoid one of the Saren fights, ngl. And the er, "second fight" with Sovereign-Saren.... hell yeah

... I'll admit I had to double check my choice re whether to save the Council. I did in the end, but I swear, sometimes the way they phrase things I'm like ".... okay but Garrus is right, defeating Sovereign is more important than these few leaders??????" woops. Listen, priorities, is all I'm saying..... (￣ヮ￣|||)ゞ

'Course later they emphasize (in ME2) that there were 10,000 people on that same ship and I was like well I wouldn't have second guessed if I'd known that, I mean c'mon-

Also I did indeed romance Liara in this one, so I got that scene ;Dc But,,,, I also knew by the end that I was totally gonna romance Garrus in 2 since he's an option then finally,,,,, lemme tell you the guilt as I waffled over whether to romance Liara bc of it. hahaha.

Aaaaand Mass Effect 2-

So I'm only up to right before the Reaper IFF Mission, so I don't know the ending, etc etc lol. That said, I've just finished every side mission I've found with the exception of the Shadowbroker Quest and the Arrival Quest (I've heard the latter basically leads into ME3, and the former is best either right before the Omega 4 jump or in postgame).

So from the start - fuck yeah fuck yeah what a high adrenaline start Shepard noooooo but also yes save Joker aH-

The motion comic too hot damn nice job

I loved this setup, seriously - especially forcing Shep into this situation, having to work with/for Cerberus, and the compelling reasoning given behind "why" they do what they do (I especially found it a good point that the Salarians have the Task Force, the Asaris the Commandos, the Turians the- etc... like, true, when you put it like that, having a similar group advancing human interests/solving human interstellar problems is pretty reasonable...). That said, I love too that it really isn't shied away from how Cerberus is nonetheless fucked up - or its at least done fucked up stuff.

Listen, I still think some messed up stuff is gonna be revealed in 2's endgame......... after that Horizon mission and the Collector's ship???? TIM I SEE YOU YOU SHADY MF-

aaanyways lol...

I'm so so glad on a gameplay level they nixed the Mako style exploration. A few Hammerhead missions are fine and a lot more focused than the slippery ass navigation in that glorified ATV, pfff. The probes are a neat way of getting after similar resources - and more importantly, having good levels and some good hubs (the Zakera Wards, Omega, Ilium, etc) is way way more fun than having a more 'sprawling' space that is.... a lot of empty nonsense, lol.

Then there's the fact that we get Joker right off the bat and you can interact with him so much - and him and EDI??? Get out gods I love them. Kasumi is so right when she says they sound like a bickering old married couple lol. I have a terrible feeling that some shit is gonna happen with EDI..... but I don't think she's evil as-is, at least.

Side-eying the hell out of those "access forbidden" parts of her that she doesn't even know.... and the fact that her AI core has a locked door access................... something's gonna happen gdi LEAVE OUR ADOPTED AI ALONE.

(Also Joker pls stop fracturing your thumb on the mute button)

Also please save me there are so many hot aliens in this game,,,,, the xeno/monsterfuckers really comin' through strong in the sequels............... doin' the lord's work........................................

In general, I love how many levels ME stepped up in two with complexity and interwoven narratives!! Like, to the point it'd be almost a drag to replay ME1, even though it was fun going through it (if occasionally a bit tedious with the cookie cutter rando planet science/mine facilities, lol). Like, just from how fun and interesting ME2 is, mostly! more of all the pre-introduced races, plus new ones, plus more filling in of intragalactic politics, and more interesting implications of all these space-faring races mixing....

Also gods WREX and his planet holy shit,,,,, fuckin' hell yeah my man get their shit together and also adopt Grunt yes good-

And Mordin??? My singing semi-evil scientist best friend forced to confront his choices more than he thought he ever would have???? With some of the best ongoing general report chatter of all the companions??

(when I tell you I choked on my coffee when I talked to him after confirming romance choice w/ Garrus and that 'pamphlet' and 'anaphalactic shot if ingesting-' kajsldkfjsldfjk)

Like, fuck, the fact that they actually dive into the mixed morality and horrors of the genophage, and you can confront Mordin on it, for good reason, yet he still stands his ground, until finally some bits of his loyalty mission seem to... affect him, and I'm guessing might set up things for 3 with him? Unsure, but either way, damn, the fact that they start to dig into it...

And Taliiiii my beloved forbidden alien wife TwT her loyalty mission was SO GOOD. I love how varied they all are?? Getting to defend her and discover what she'd unwittingly been a part of-!!

Zaeed is a bastard but tbh I love that he is and that he's unapologetic in him - and Kasumi omg, best thief. A heist?? Gods, yes- I love our couch lounge chats XD

Samara is..... illegally.......... she's an illegally powerful and beautiful and eloquent MILF...........................

(.... listen I'm sapphic as hell and I'm kicking my own ass for picking her up last aksjdlfksjdfl - but her loyalty mission, damn. And seeing how there's this interesting cultural subset, and the struggle with the Asari in that they unquestioningly accept/respect justicars, but also know that the impact outside their culture is a diplomacy nightmare waiting to happen-)

,.,,,,,T,,, Thane,,,,,

I am weak for morally implicated murder dads okay?? And that voice??? His mannerisms?????? How you first see him, and that prayer after assassinating her...???????? And his history/his people's history with the hanar, gods I love how messy it is, it feels so much more real!

Also Jack is a mess and I love her (and want to get her some therapy, omg), and her and Miranda nearly duking it out after you've done both their loyalty missions??? so good and makes a lot of sense-! Honestly I would love more interactions between teammates on the ship, but there's already so much the devs had to balance I can't blame 'em for minimizing, heh. But suffice to say I also love Miranda and Jacob, even if I'm softest for my alien crew XD Hell yeah Jacob, we'll get loud and spill drinks on the citadel indeed TwT

.... I could write a whole essay on how much I love Garrus oTL Perhaps because he and Tali are the throughlines from 1 on your 2 crew, I have some of the strongest feelings about them... but genuinely, he was one of my favorite companions in the first game, and how you find him as Archangel in two? Getting to help him fight his way out after he's gone nearly 48 hours straight fighting off three gangs alone, jfc. His vengeance quest and what can happen there.... That line? fuck me, that line -

It's so much easier to see the world in black and white. Grey? I don't know what to do with gray...

How DARE you come for my heart like this, devs holy shit

(also, some other choice faves so far from the series from him include We can disobey suicidal orders?? and This wasn't in my training manual... [in 1, if you have him with you @ th Thorian fight] and his whole.... pop the heat sink - in his romance ;Dc)

asdasdfksadjfkl like I said I can write an essay on him PFFF suffice to say I'm very looking forward to his romance scene and where things go in 3

But yeah gods I'm just gonna keep rambling if I'm not careful lol. Gods I don't even know what to talk about it's all so good and while I can understand people roasting the obviousness of Paragon V Renegade (v neutral) choices/alignments, I think they do a pretty damn good job in 2 of pushing it further - to the point that there were some times that I accidentally got renegade points and I wasn't that mad, haha. There's so much fun in the interactions that I just have a good time anyways~

I have so many thoughts about TIM (The Illusive Man) and Cerberus.... theories evolving galore............... and like, what the hell!! Omega 4 going to the center of the galaxy is such a cool twist, goddamn - though my heart still breaks at losing Kaiden (his line if you haven't romanced him?? about feeling like he lost a limb when he lost you??? holy shit.... but I also can't blame him for not trusting Cerberus to the point of it affecting his ability to trust Shepard... like fuck Shep go after himmmm) I'm really excited to see where that goes since he comes back in 3, and what the fuck happens with Cerberus bc while I love the fact that obviously there are a lot of people in it for the right reasons, doing good work, there are those that are doing the opposite, and I have a very bad feeling about where TIM will end up landing....

All that said though I need to do the Reaper IFF mission (where I'm lightly spoiled as to getting That Boy, but not how/what happens to make it so - just that it's apparently wise to have all your side missions done before getting him...) and the actual Omega 4 jump. So we'll see what happens and what I think about it from there heheh!

.... major kudos and genuine props if you made it here to the end, I am so sorry for not editing on condensing all this, and appreciate you so much ;w;

[supertransural]

supernatural made me realize a bunch of shit about myself, specifically identity and it’s part of the reasons why i think it’s an inherently queer story.

allow me to clarify. once upon a time, 6 years ago, i found supernatural. back then i was mostly in the closet, even to myself. i’d gotten to that point of “hah wouldn’t it be nice to be like guys on tv and kiss the pretty girls” but not much further than that, because in most of the movies i had watched with my parents, the personality of the guy wasn’t really explored in the way supernatural (mostly unintentionally ngl) does with its characters.

so picture a teen, finding my first tv show to watch alone, being able to think my very own comments about it and not fear any repercussions from those thoughts because hey, i’m alone in my room i can think what i like about what i’m seeing. and feeling.

and here enters dean. complicated, comes from a rough childhood, parental expectations weighing so heavy on him it’s bleeding through his smiles, has a brother he feels is his duty to protect, is stuck in a loop of denial repression depression sublimation denial repression depression sublimation den-

you get the gist. i related to that guy. and then here he goes getting bi-coded (didn’t know what that was at the time but looking back, i could sure as hell feel it) and then kissing girls on screen, despite his wavering self-confidence. little ol’ gay me was like “yoooo i relate to this character on most of his character points, do i also relate to like..... wanting to do what he does??? do i wanna kiss other girls????”. fast forward one season and i’ve already figured out i was maybe bi. literally thanks to season 1 dean.

so, having figured out this “minor” aspect of myself, i went on youtube to find some other people like me and try to see if i was right to be homophobic towards myself or not. figured out, hey uh, definitely not. so you can also add “it ended up making me try to put a stop to my internalized homophobia” on the list of things that shitpost of a show helped me with.

i went back to the show for another season, relating even more to dean, and “blah blah blah queer coded character blah blah blah gay me could feel it before i knew what it was blah blah blah happy gay stuff”. several seasons passed by before anything new came up on my “hm this show rly out here bringing out all the queer aspects of myself huh” journey, but anyways i was still slowly but surely thinking holy shit i wanna be this goddamn man i want to be dean.

then comes season 4, walzing into my questioning little heart. oof ok, this season hit ALL the right spots for me. because i could feel what was going on between cas and dean and even though everything was still blurry as fuck, the parallel between sam/ruby and dean/cas was clear as day. and i was like “oh so you’re saying there’s a love here and it’s like that tarnished love between sam and ruby and it’s forbidden so that’s why we’re not seeing it and it’s like... gay”. so it made me realize “holy shit, i wanna see more gay content, and it’s ok to want that.”

then cas became another extremely relatable character, because i just kept thinking “he doesn’t really have a gender the same way other humans do” and i shit you not, he started me questioning my own gender. because again, a relatable character that you somewhat identify with that makes you ask questions about their identity INEVITABLY makes you ask questions about yourself. queue me going on youtube yet again to understand this shit a little better. i went through a few months of thinking “maybe i’m nb”, joined a few more gay communities on the internet, started learning about lgbtq+ things, watched a few more gay shows, and basically just grew a little more into my queerness.

fasforward several seasons, a couple gap years where i stopped watching it, and you’ll get to me a year ago. i thought i was a gay woman, fairly happy in that mental space and identity. but then. the whole “i wanna be dean” thing came up a lot again. because he just kept on being more and more visibly queer coded as i kept on learning more about this shit.

lo and behold, i jumped straight into the idea i was trans. and wouldya look at dat, i was right. quarantine happened, so i had to get even more of my interactions through online platforms, and quite obviously hovered around the gayer ones, or at least the lgbtq+ sides of them. and as i kept watching the show on and off, binging the first seasons for the 4th time, i kept learning more and more about myself. and those acts of gay frenzy were always started by seeing something relatable or strange in that show and looking it up. like, legitimately every time.

i found this community on tumblr a few weeks ago because i was tired of having my own little hypotheticals in my head and not knowing if anyone agreed, and the more i’ve been here the more i’ve learned about myself. the more i’ve let go of a lot of internalized hatred. the more i’ve been really ok with myself, as a trans guy. BUT ITS NOT FINISHED YET.

because, as we all know, it is common understanding here that dean is bi. WELL, i’ve been re-binging the show with that mindset finally clear in my head, and the “haha dean relatable lol” thing came up again, except it was really a “haha dean (who is bi) super relatable lol” thing now. so i paused, yet again, to think about that a little more. AND FIGURED OUT I WASNT STRAIGHT, IM BI AS FUCK.

that happened 1 month ago. i thought i’d grown fully into my queer self, that i’d gone through enough realizations and coming outs (to friends only, god forbid i come out to my parents (unfortunately quite literally god forbid lmao) before i’m out of here) for a lifetime. but apparently not. AND IT WAS STILL BECAUSE OF SUPERNATURAL. destiel and trans!dean fics helped with my internalized transphobia and homophobia, they helped with acceptance of those parts of myself. something that helped was also seeing the fact that shipping two guys in a tv show wasn’t just “being greedy with my grubby little gay hands” and wanting to think of a character as trans wasn’t just “being delusional and ridiculous”. and reading fics wasn’t cringy, it was nice and comforting.

so to try and sum up this unhinged gay rant, what i meant by my initial statement is this.

looking back on this entire self-discovery journey that i went on, it really felt like i was in the impala with the boys, except i was on a different kind of route (just picture this giant road painted in rainbow colors with baby driving at 80mph on it, that’s what it felt like). i grew with those characters, but most importantly i grew THANKS to those characters. their story was queer enough to make me, a fairly homophobic, traditional, conservative kid into a lib trans bi dude. and not in a “i got converted by the fandoms” way. i found the fandom waaaaayyyyyyyy later. i stumbled upon the fandoms looking for answers about this gayass goddamn show that i could FEEL was like me but couldn’t verbalize yet.

their story felt like a queer self discovery story and i could already see that before i went on it myself. no other shows have ever done that for me, and i’ve watched shows that had lgbtq+ characters in them, scripted gay scenes, not just subtext but text. and they still didn’t do that for me.

so this is why this show is so meaningful to be, and incidentally so very gay. like genuinely.

[windauraocs-blog]

OC Backstory: Halsien

「 The following story is based on the MapleStory 2 universe, if some names sound confusing to you, don’t worry; they’re mostly NPCs or place names. That said, if you have any questions feel free to ask! <3  It’s also a long read (─‿‿─)♡ And there’s a bit of casual commentary added every now and then so it won’t be too boring(?) Thank you for your interest as always!  」

MEETING HORUS

Halsien grew up in the seaside port village of Lith Harbor, but his mother soon enrolled him into the Ellinel Magic Academy located in the fairy-dwelling town of Ellinia.  Magic was very fascinating to Halsien, so he was of course curious about all the spells and how it all worked — except for the fact that he kind of gets carried away reading books during class. ( these books being either the fish encyclopedia his dad in Lith Harbor lent him for 'reading material' , or mostly books telling of the legends and myths surrounding Maple World. With pictures, of course! ) One day his class is assigned the task to embark a field excursion of a designated region; the students would then have to make a project based on their findings and research, like what they saw, and what they found interesting. Halsien is assigned the region of Perion, so he sets off. Perion is renowned for its rich, cultural traditions and ancient inscriptions, so there was definitely enough things to talk about if he were to make a project out of this. Soon he finds himself climbing up a few rocky crevices and up a few ladders— before a strong gust suddenly breaks out and a tall, feathered creature adorned in glimmering gold appears before him. Now, the kid is absolutely floored at the sight of this creature because if he was not mistaken it's the exact same legend that had been talked about in one of the books he read. It was Horus. He actually even takes out the book gesturing to the picture excitedly in front of them lmao 

Horus senses magic and is naturally very cautious. On the very sight of the wand in the boy's pocket it rears up onto its haunches in warning-- but Halsien hastily assures that they aren't here to cause it harm. Horus is still of course, skeptical of this. Previous attempts from adventurers alike had only led to griffin eggs being poached.

Now how do you convince a majestic yet potentially-dangerous griffin that you, a human, aren't here to hurt it?

You chuck your staff off the side of the cliff

YUP.  

Even Horus is shocked by this foolish act but Halsien does it as a sign of trust; without his staff he's unable to do any kind of offensive magic and so attempts to prove that he really isn't here to hurt them by rendering himself unarmed, so to speak.

It turns out reading about legends came in handy here. Halsien has read about how Horus often attacks villagers to fend them away from their nest and therefore there's a conflict between the Perion dwellers and themselves.

So he asks them if there's anyway to help with that and of course Horus is like ?????? why is this kid trying to help me what are they plotting-

Trusting (for now) that they have no ill-intent, Horus eventually states that they can help by gathering materials to rebuild their nest, so Horus flies off elsewhere for a bit and returns to

— a brand new nest. 

Not only were materials gathered but the boy had actually constructed a new nest in the time that Horus was out. 

 This surprises even the griffin himself, and is noticeably taken aback when he responds that it's so that they and their future chicks can live happily.

comic leak ohohoho

So Horus is slightly touched by this act because for one- the very same species that threatened it and its family had now just shown a caring gesture. Maybe now, they can feel that not all adventurers are bad people. If you think about it, monsters are just trying to live the way they know how; they're not always the one at fault here. (this is actually Halsien's firm belief-- and the reason he's trying to understand them better even at present time!)

Halsien realises that it's been quite a while since he left Ellinia to come out to Perion, and that he might be running late for class if he stays any longer, so he tries to take his leave but Horus flies directly in front of him, blocking the path.

Horus has made up his mind about something and lowers his head, and therefore crest; instructing the young mage to place his hand on it.

Confused, but not necessarily reluctant, he does before they are temporarily engulfed in bright light as Horus outstretches their wings. In the moments afterwards, nothing else seemed to be different. Horus describes it as a 'gift' from him, and that he shouldn't be surprised to see some 'changes' happen soon.

At the end of this, they bid each other farewell and note each other's names. Now what was that change, exactly? 

 the soon sprouting of tiny feathered wings.  

and later, (still working on this to make it make sense because so far things are still uncertain LOL; I imagine... some special ability to establish a gradual connection with a monster's inner 'wavelength' to try and pacify them. The closest thing I can relate this to is shadow pokemon purification; except with the added risk of absorbing their darkness into your own so it's .... risky. There are definitely risks.)

ELLINEL MAGICAL ACADEMY

The students would now have everything they need to do their special ‘show-and-tell’, and surely an encounter with the griffin king himself would be truly something to talk about, right?

 Halsien's pretty excited to tell his classmates back at the academy about what happened—— but on the contrary, they don't believe him in the slightest and think he's just making things up, and this kind of escalates when a girl called Merevylnn catches word of this. 

Merevylnn is what you could say... a part of the 'popular' group in the class, and it's something she's proud of, she tries to make sure everyone knows this. 

But deep down, she's someone who was held back a year due to failing a few classes in the previous, and this is extremely humiliating to her.  She doesn't know how to feel about being a year or two older than everyone else, and having been kept back. She feels like anyone who tries to show off is intentionally trying to tease her.

In fact, due to this, she feels an incredible amount of shame, so she redirects her bitterness onto others. So when she witnesses someone like Halsien returning back to the academy with a ridiculous story and "new wings" (that aren't accessories, they're real) she views him as nothing but a showoff, and spreads this misinformation across the class as well.

This misinformation that Merevylnn overtime leads Halsien to become treated as an outcast, because the rest of the classmates naturally gravitate towards her view. He's bullied by the rest—tugged harshly by the wings and shunned by his cohort, all because of a major misunderstanding that truly wasn't his fault to begin with.

It's undoubtedly painful, but eventually, over time he realises he needs to finds a way to adapt. 

If his classmates aren't willing to have anything to do with him, why not just retreat into your

— books? 

Right, just focus on the class material studies, and indulge in your favourite pasttime of reading. You don't have to have anything to do with everyone else either.

All goes... relatively smoothly after that, it felt like a comfortable enough routine given the situation. However,

Just before the final practical exam that the mages take before advancing, Merevylnn takes this grudge a step further and sneakily discovers a forbidden magic spell that temporarily disables magic in a certain area, by casting something known as magic cancellation.

Wanting to give them a taste of their own medicine, she ends up casting such a spell on him just before the exam.

Just imagine taking your final or something really important — only to not be able to do anything at all, and you kind of just... panic.

Regardless of how much you practiced or put your heart into it, suddenly

you can’t do any of that.

--

What happens after? It’s not entirely set in stone yet, but... I believe he seeks out his professor to try and explain his lack of performance, and it probably takes some time before they realise that a cancelling skill was indeed released at the time: because you know how tutors are about students; they could just be making excuses for all they knew. So this kind of explains why Halsien’s kept to himself, or prefers to, since then: it's not that he doesn't enjoy the company of others, he's just uncertain whether it's okay or safe to be, and is cautious for his own sake; he's taught himself over the years to keep composed— because as we all know, bullies love getting a reaction out of people. 

「 This is as much as I have so far! Thank you very much for reading! I hope things weren’t too confusing, haha~ 」

[heygoatman]

xingzhi’s chinese music rec list (with commentary)

for my beloved cpop buddy / fellow jay chou enthusiast anna @ghostiac​ <3

this list is split into oldies and not-so-oldies! youtube links are included for each song and they’re listed in no particular order. also there are no jay chou songs in this list or else i’d have to make a whole separate post lolol. 

ENJOY!! for anyone who isn’t anna, feel free to check this out too!!! 

OLDIES:

Endless Love by Jackie Chan & Kim Hee Seo

kjlfghlskdfg i already sent you this song but its honestly one of my favourites so i couldn’t not include it! it just gives me the kind of deep melancholy from a forbidden love across lifetimes ;-;

把悲伤留给自己 by 蓝岚 

ok she’s not the original singer of this classic but i really like her slow jazzy version of it, it really captures the heartbreak in the lyrics! (i listened to this a lot when i was getting over somebody lolol) 

大海 by 張雨生 

this. song. fucking. bangs. (the singer has alr passed, rip) super good to sing badly along to when the house is empty!!!

情非得已 by 庾澄慶 

this song has a special place in my heart, in junior college my drama club would always sing this song tgt while one scrub would play the guitar, good times :’)

寶貝對不起 by 草蜢 

physically impossible to not groove to this song tbh. this is another of those songs that would wake me from a coma!!! i know it by heart!!!

朋友 by 周華健 

for me, this song used to be just a super touching and heartfelt song about friendship that everyone listens to during graduation. which it is!! except during high school my friend pointed out that during the chorus when they’re going ~heyyyy ya~ it also sounds like someone is singing BOOM BOOM SUCK COCK & i’ve found a whole new level of appreciation for this song.

風真透 and 欢喜就好, both by 陳雷

disclaimer: this are hokkien songs, they’re quite a big part of my childhood cos my dad always sings them. and they’re ridiculously catchy HAHA. (the lyrics don’t make sense sadly cos translations are iffy)

honourable mentions! (by no means less good, i just don’t have much to say lol)

愛我別走 by 張震嶽 

用心良苦 by 張宇

花心 by 周華健 

瀟灑走一回 by 葉蒨文 

NOT-SO-OLDIES:

漂向北方 by Namewee & Wang Leehom

i’m very biased cos i love namewee (the rapper) but if this ain’t one of the best chinese rap songs out there!! fuck!!! i’m so proud of him for making it big!!! also this song is impossible to sing at karaoke but everyone still tries lmaoooo

修煉愛情 by JJ Lin

gotta rep my boy JJ Lin cos he’s a born-and-bred singaporean!! another melancholic songs cos cpop is full of emo songs like this tbh. there’s actually a pretty sad true story behind this song though :(

那些年 by 胡夏 and 小幸運 by 田馥甄    

i always associate these two songs together, they’re both very popular theme songs of nostalgic movies about missing out on high school love lolol they’re cheesy af but the songs are nice!! especially the second one!! full of feels

中國話 by S.H.E

THE ICONIC GIRL GROUP!! with their super iconic song!!! proud to say i know all those childhood rhymes slkjfhlsjkdg throwing this in here for the #chinesepride lmao 

寂寞寂寞就好 by 田馥甄 

another A+ post-breakup song!!! this song carried me through getting over a shitty guy, 10/10 would recommend when feeling like shit!!! fuck those who don’t see your worth, you will be okay!!!

超喜歡你 by 飛輪海 Fahrenheit 

SLKJDFGHJLK everyone my age has had a fahrenheit phase in their youth lmao, this song really brings me back. they can’t really sing that well HAHA but it’s a cute song, and i love the taiwanese drama that this is the theme song for. 

小蘋果 by 筷子兄弟

this is the epitome of what people call 洗脑歌, its so dumb and catchy i actually love it HAHAHA

怎麼還不愛 by 楊凱琳&余楓 

goosebumps every time!!! their voices!!! the dancing!!! the lyrics and melody!!! also ngl this music video was a huge part of my bi awakening lmao. 

honourable mentions:

可惜沒如果 by JJ Lin

當你孤單你會想起誰 by 張棟樑

童話 and  約定, both by 光良 

三寸天堂 by 严艺丹 (the  步步惊心 theme song) 

THANK YOU FOR MAKING IT THUS FAR, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THE MUSIC. ANNA ILY, THANK YOU FOR OUR 20 CONVOS AT THE SAME TIME ABOUT RANDOM SHIT LOLOL 

edit: omg i forgot about this song, it’s actually a mash up of some of the most popular love songs, some of which are on the list!!! 12min of classics its great

[janebennetts]

things have changed for me

This is nowhere near as good as the perfection from @jiilys and @alrightpotter but this was still super fun to write.

AO3

James Potter to but does Buzzfeed know which friends character it is in five random questions: approximately how many jelly beans are too many

James Potter: because I bought all of the bags in the store

Sirius Black: enough to fill a car?

James Potter: I think it’ll be enough to fill Claire

Sirius Black: “riding claire” wasn’t even funny the first time prongs

Remus Lupin: wouldn’t it be “riding in claire”??

Sirius Black: #exposed

James Potter: #blocked

Peter Pettigrew to i’m lizzie bennet and sirius black is way hotter than darcy: I don’t think this is going to work

Peter Pettigrew: and even if it does, will people even watch it?

Sirius Black: people watched it on the middle

Remus Lupin: you’re the only person on earth who watches the middle

James Potter: does anyone even watch our regular videos

Peter Pettigrew: true

James Potter to Lily Evans: you coming to help film?

Lily Evans: nope

James Potter: :(

Lily Evans: pathetic

Lily Evans: of course I’m coming to help

Lily Evans: I wanna get my hands on some peach jelly beans

James Potter: they’re gonna be stuck to the other jelly beans

James Potter: (if this works)

Lily Evans: peach jelly beans with obstacles

Sirius Black to but isn’t james potter more of a state of mind: prongs way

Peter Pettigrew: ???

Sirius Black: where are you

Sirius Black: duh

Remus Lupin: remember when you texted like a human being

Sirius Black: nope

Remus Lupin: me neither

Sirius Black to WAY PRONGS: srsly jim way

Remus Lupin: we’re standing here around a car looking like idiots

Sirius Black: u always look like an idiot

Peter Pettigrew: guys we’re right next to each other

Peter Pettigrew: you can just say ur dumb insults to each other’s faces

James Potter: sry m8s I picked Lily up and she wanted to stop for lunch

Sirius Black: oooooooh

Sirius Black: ooooOOOOOHHHH

James Potter: not like that

James Potter: we just had tacos

Peter Pettigrew: oooOOOOOH

Peter Pettigrew: dang it

Peter Pettigrew: im too late

James Potter: better luck making fun of me next time pete

Lily Evans to James Potter: I can’t believe those jelly beans actually melted and stuck to the car

James Potter: I can’t believe you ripped a chunk off and started eating it

James Potter: thanks for filming, by the way

Lily Evans: just call me Freddie Benson💋

James Potter to Sirius Black: she sent me a kiss emoji

James Potter: what do u think that means

Sirius Black: maybe she meant to hit another emoji

Sirius Black: like the nose bc u stink

Sirius Black: idk ask Remus

James Potter added Remus Lupin to the chat

Remus Lupin: christ

Remus Lupin: its like three am

Remus Lupin: i need my beauty sleep

Sirius Black: its not working

Peter Pettigrew to not like that, we just had tacos: WE’RE ON BUZZFEED

James Potter: ??!!!

Peter Pettigrew sent a link to These Crazy Hilarious YouTubers Filled A Car with Jelly Beans to See If They Would Melt

Sirius Black: they called us “crazy hilarious”

Remus Lupin: a woman in the comments said “they get paid to do this?” though so I wouldn’t say we’re famous yet

Peter Pettigrew: if we got paid to do this I wouldn’t have to work at starbucks

James Potter to i’m sorry for being right, sirius: i’m adding Lily to the chat  

Sirius Black: this is moving fast

Sirius Black named the chat JAMES POTTER WETS THE BED

James Potter named the chat WELCOME EVANS

Remus Lupin named the chat stop

Remus Lupin: come up with some better jokes padfoot

James Potter named the chat Group Chat

James Potter added Lily Evans to the chat

Lily Evans: wait

Lily Evans: why is ur chat name “group chat”

Lily Evans: who does that???

Lily Evans named the chat Freaks and Geeks

Sirius Black: i like her already

Lily Evans to James Potter: uggggghhhh

Lily Evans: talk to me

James Potter: bout what?

Lily Evans: anything other than vernon dursley

James Potter: whales have no sweat glands

Lily Evans: fascinating

Lily Evans: gotta go eat with the fam

Lily Evans: i’ll take a swig of wine every time vernon says “actually”

James Potter: you’ll die in five minutes

Lily Evans: make sure they bury me in prada

Lily Evans to James Potter: i habve a new pshilosophy

Lily Evans: ill flip a coin dfor every desicion so i don’t enmd up high strung like petunia  f

James Potter to Lily Evans: where are you

Lily Evans: crowns pub

James Potter: i’m coming to get you

Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: why was lily sleeping on our couch

Sirius Black: so thats what the unearthly screaming was

Sirius Black: did u sit on her or something

Remus Lupin: no

Remus Lupin: (yes)

Remus Lupin: i hadn’t had coffee yet

Remus Lupin: it was dark

Sirius Black: uv still gotten more action than James

Lily Evans to James Potter: thank u for picking me up

James Potter: don’t mention it

James Potter: i would have taken the couch, u know

Lily Evans: i know

Lily Evans to APRIL THE GIRAFFE HAS GIVEN BIRTH: guess who I just met

Sirius Black: no

Remus Lupin: i can literally hear u laughing from ur room padfoot

Remus Lupin: that was not remotely funny

Sirius Black: i’m being joyful

Sirius Black: u already look twenty years older than u are

Sirius Black: u wouldn’t if you laughed a little

James Potter: can we stay on topic pls

James Potter: who did you meet?

Lily Evans: so I flipped a coin to decide whether to get a burger or go out to lunch with Petunia

James Potter: that is an easy decision??? u didn’t need to flip a coin

Lily Evans: but it worked out

Lily Evans: I went to lunch with Petunia

Lily Evans: (it was so fancy)

Lily Evans: and I met some YouTube exec who said they needed some “good, cleancut kids” to make videos and work with them and stuff

Sirius Black: and you didn’t lead with this?!

James Potter: excellent job lil!

Remus Lupin to Sirius Black: so he’s already calling her “lil”

Sirius Black: better than “lily evans, love of my life and future wife”

Remus Lupin: so what’s with the whole coin thing?

Sirius Black: jim said she went out to dinner with petunia and vernon, got smashed, and vowed to flip a coin for all her decisions

Sirius Black: and now she’s sober and is too stubborn to change her mind

Remus Lupin: already calling him “jim”, huh?

Sirius Black: ours is a forbidden love

Peter Pettigrew to WE HAVE NO IDEAS: so what are we going to do for our pitch

James Potter: look at the name of the chat

Peter Pettigrew: but we have to come up with something

Remus Lupin: he’s right

Sirius Black: how about “girl decides to flip a coin for every decision”

Lily Evans: exploitation

Lily Evans: i like it

James Potter to Lily Evans: so come over around seven so we can start filming

Lily Evans: I flipped a coin and it says eight

James Potter: flip that coin and see if you’d like to come to dinner with me

James Potter: (but like, only if you want to)

James Potter to Remus Lupin: REMUS WHAT HAVE I DONE

James Potter sent Remus Lupin a picture

James Potter: she’s going to think im some “nice guy” who thinks he deserves sex just bc they’re friends

Remus Lupin: james, chill

Remus Lupin: tbh that might be better than her first impression of you

Lily Evans to James Potter: I don’t need a coin for that decision ;)

Lily Evans: pick me up in twenty?

James Potter: sounds like a plan

James Potter to Remus Lupin: YES

James Potter to Sirius Black: YES

James Potter to Peter Pettigrew: YES

Remus Lupin to I’m not a regular buzzkill, I’m a cool buzzkill: hey, we’re ready to go

Remus Lupin: Sirius has literally poured a pot of coffee into his mouth

Sirius Black: its true, i did

Lily Evans: we’re on our way

Sirius Black to Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin: “we’re on our way”

Peter Pettigrew: WE’RE

Remus Lupin: can we be mature about this

Remus Lupin: lol just kidding james must be freaking out

Sirius Black: wonder if they’re gonna tell us?

Peter Pettigrew: idk be cool

James Potter to are you driving a snail? it’s been twenty minutes: we’re pulling in

Lily Evans: we brought bagels!

Sirius Black to WITHOUT JAMES: she is wearing HiS SoCKs

Remus Lupin: they can’t possibly think we don’t know

Peter Pettigrew: omg

Remus Lupin: we should probably act surprised when they tell us

Sirius Black: what is right

Sirius Black: what is wrong

Sirius Black: i don’t know anymore

Remus Lupin: chill

Remus Lupin: I can see sweat dripping down your face

Peter Pettigrew: don’t u think they see us texting under the table

Lily Evans changed the chat name to why are we texting

Lily Evans: are you guys taking a vow of silence

Lily Evans: james already filmed a bit of me flipping the coin to decide my outfit and what to get for breakfast

Lily Evans: maybe my next decision should be deciding whether we should have an actual conversation

Peter Pettigrew: their on to us

Peter Pettigrew: oops I didn’t send that to anyone

Peter Pettigrew: haha

Lily Evan to remus we’re out of biscuits: alright, I finished editing our video!

James Potter: you angel

James Potter: too good for me

Lily Evans: I know

Lily Evans: I’ll get it ready to present to the YouTube exec too

Remus Lupin: thanks Lily

Remus Lupin to WE HAVE BEEN OUT OF BISCUITS FOR THREE DAYS: we need to talk about our pitch

Remus Lupin: more specifically, what we’re wearing

Remus Lupin: bc sirius, you did not need to order me seventeen boxes of clothes

Remus Lupin: james, you did not need to send me twenty pairs of shoes and fifteen watches

James Potter: we’re like robin hood

James Potter: except without the stealing

Lily Evans to James Potter: the pitch is at four, could you swing by my house about two hours before

Lily Evans: its more fun getting ready when there’s someone with you

Lily Evans: and then we’ll drive there together

James Potter: I’m starting to think you don’t know how to drive

Lily Evans: I do

Lily Evans: I just prefer going with you

Peter Pettigrew to never gonna give you up: that went well?

Remus Lupin: surprisingly

James Potter: I think we got the job?

Peter Pettigrew: MONEYYYYYYYYYY

Sirius Black: greed is a sin pete

Remus Lupin: says the man who actually tried to create a swimming pool of money

Lily Evans: drinks on me!

Sirius Black to are u sure u still want to pay, lily?: u guys have been on like two dates

Sirius Black: u don’t have to act married

James Potter: it’s called being in love

James Potter: u should try it sometime

Lily Evans: you’re in love with me?

James Potter: oh no

James Potter: shit

James Potter: I did NOT mean that

Lily Evans: you didn’t?

Lily Evans: that’s a shame, because I’m pretty in love with you

Sirius Black: gross

[finalinspirit]

[KAITO x Luka] List of Modules that I ship.

I have the Len x Miku version of this post. This explaination will take long, so I’ll cut this ‘keep reading’. Honestly their modules are giving me a lot of prompts to write their fanfiction, but I can’t. ;-; Hopefully I’ll inspire you guys by these headcanons of mine~

1. Elegant Butterfly x Mysterious Butterfly. - I absolutely love these modules! (I even love their designs rather than Len x Miku’s ;-;) Headcanon: Luka is a princess who had a parent issues or political issues around her. She’s quiet, calm, and reserved-- extremely beautiful as people describe her beauty to be deadly or exotic. While Kaito is an enigmatic person, Luka met its eyes without any idea what Kaito is thinking inside his head. He was truly mysterious person, whether he’s an assassin, wolf, or vampire from tales? She never knew and sense danger within him, but all she knew she was entranced to him.

2. Megurine Luka Blossom x Shigure. - Whenever I see these modules, all I can picture is they’re resting under the shade of a tree while closing their eyes and their hands are intertwined. Headcanon: Kaito is destined to be a warrior for war, but he doesn’t like to be involved into one. He met Luka who cares for children, but she’s a kind of sassy girl. After a single sweep of Kaito’s hometown, Luka is nowhere to be found. That made him rage, as he will defeat their village’s foes.

3. San-no-Sakura Maple x Rei-no-Sakura Azure Snow. - I absolutely love these Modules! Because whenever I saw this? It droves me crazy to write a Lukaito fanfiction because this module says it all! Now, let’s go to the headcanon of mine! (Phew! This was long! I have already the summary of this headcanon to be a fic. But sadly, I can’t write it. I’m laaaazy. ;-;) Headcanon: Luka is once a commoner who’s currently shopping in the market for ingredients but then an old man who’s begging that he was stolen. Luka saw a girl who’s in teens. She decided to pursue that teen. The teen wanted a help from a third class soldier, Kaito, who’s on his duty to patrol the market. Kaito talks with the teen and listening to its report, but then Luka pins the teen down wanting the teen to admit to her mistake. But the teen insisted it wasn’t her, but the old man who’s the thief.        Kaito finally recognize the old man as the most wanted in their place. Luka and the old man were both arrested. Luka explained that it was all misunderstanding. Her parents begged for forgiveness, and it’s decided that she will be a household maid for the Prince, named Gakupo.        Soldiers of this era is forbidden to love, as their destiny is to serve and protect its nation with the people. This rule was implemented after the former King and Soldier was betrayed by his own betrothed.

4. Nagisa Replica x Requiem. - These modules rocks! I mean, Luka looks like a warrior who successfully conquered some lands that she’s searching for power together with her betrothed in her side. She was Kaito’s knight, while Kaito is one his way to reclaim his throne that was meant for him. Headcanon: Both of them are victims by the cruelty of fate. As they tasted bitterness when they were kids, Luka lost her right eye sight while Kaito struggles in some health issues plus losing his parents (the king and queen) and Luka who never met her parents. She was the one who’s taking care of Kaito. As they grew up from these environments, their mentality is too strong that they have a will to survive. Luka needs to be in his side in order to help him to reclaim his throne.

5. Amour x Guilty. - What should I even say to this. I T ’ S  P E R F E C T. No headcanons, since Acute is a canon Lukaito thing. I like the story of it, I have no complaints about it.

7. Fraulein x White Blazer. - Hmm, these module blend really well. It seems like Kaito is sort of the owner of KFC lol jk. Headcanon: Kaito looks like a strict tutor of Princess Luka who doesn’t act like a Princess which is why they sent a tutor and wanted a freedom from the castle, she wanted to see the people from the village. The king disprove this since he doesn’t want her daughter be in danger.

8. Temptation x Rosa Blue. - I know this is a weird taste of mine, but I started this since I played Project Diva on PSVita without any available modules for Luka and Kaito except for these two modules lmao. (T/N: I was playing Pair of Wintry Winds at that time.) Headcanon: (These are a bit unsuitable themes for kids?) Luka works in a casino as an entertainer or waitress when she’s not on a duty to entertain people. The casino which she works in is completely illegal, she’s aware of that, that she’s involved now in this crimes. Kaito who’s went to casino for enjoyment after he successfully drugged a woman and raped it. He’s wanted for doing it so, but police doesn’t know his identity since he killed and drugged his victims.          He’s looking for enjoyment tonight, but he can’t believe he’ll be tempted to steal that girl who steals his attention among the crowds. He pulled Luka somewhere to talk privately, Luka smirked at how Kaito acted asking if he’s the famous serial killer who drugs his victims. Kaito had his calm demeanor, which he was amused to Luka that she wasn’t afraid of him AT ALL. Among all of the girls he captured, Luka was the first one to escape. This amuses him very much, he’ll find her weakness at all cost.

9. Recruiter x Genius. - An office worker or manager of some kind of company and a weird scientist? I like this! Headcanon: Luka is a workaholic person. She’s a person who interviews people whenever they submit resume. She's icy, sassy, and perfectionist type of person. While Kaito contrasts her, when he’s easy-going, carefree, and friendly type of person. He’s a new worker in some kind of electronics company. But Kaito miserably fails if he wanted to present his new ideas or even deigns. Luka constantly denies his “stupid” ideas, in which Kaito won’t give up for sharing his own ideas to the company! (Or an alternate that they are both teachers in a one school lol.)

10. Queen Bee x School Uniform Parka. - Bad boys x Good girls? Nah, typical. How about a little things to make it interesting? Like Bad girls x Good boys! That’s the idea! Headcanon: Luka is the school’s queen bee, beautiful, princess, queen or whatever. While Kaito is a loner who’s silent, he likes music and studying. He’s kind in others, but disgusts him since his father is believed to be a criminal who’s currently in jail. They don’t want to associate to the criminal’s son. He dreams to be a lawyer to eradicate the accusation that they throw to his father.         The circle of friends of Luka made a bet whether Luka can steal Kaito’s heart or not. She’s also famous of having a lot of boyfriends and constantly flirts with any boys who’s fallen heels for her. But Luka can’t seem to faze Kaito! Or is it...? She smirked how Kaito can blush like a naive girl in the shoujo manga after Luka stolen his first kiss!

11. After School Mode x Campus. - These modules give either: Student x Student or Student x Teacher vibe. Headcanon: #1 In every class her circle of friends talk about their crushes and they were surprised that Luka likes Kaito as her ideal type when he’s quiet, bookworm, and boring. But for Luka that’s challenging and it’s different. Luka discovered Kaito’s secret, that he had a thing for BDSM?! And most of all... HE’S A MASOCHIST?! This creeps her out, but that doesn’t stop her from having interest on him since she discovered his one and only secret.          #2 Luka is a student but she’s inlove in their math class teacher, Kaito. (I think the first headcanon is more interesting! Haha. Because this song can’t get out of my mind. I do think Kaito is a masochist. XD)

12. Floral x Holiday. - I LOVE THIS MODULE SO MUCH AAAHH. Headcanon: It seems like both Luka and Kaito are on a vacation (in Paris), but they met their fates crossed. It seems like here they look like in the process of dating though?