#forgive me leonard peacock

[notveilofmegiddo]

i cant remember who i stole this format from my bad whooooopsies

[anxsity]

forgive me, leonard peacock sure is a book to read in the month of august!

[sadpoetrylover]

There's a lot for you to live for. Good things are definitely in your future, Leonard. I'm sure of it. You have no idea how many interesting people you'll meet after high school's over. Your life partner, your best friend, the most wonderful person you'll ever know is sitting in some high school right now waiting to graduate and walk into your life—maybe even feeling all the same things you are, maybe even wondering about you, hoping that you're strong enough to make it to the future where you'll meet.

Matthew Quick, Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock

[ram-de]

[Read] Leonard Peacock

why do i keep picking up books that suspiciously and somehow make me relate to the characters... i could never understand. (<- i'm not special ok i get it) TO PREFACE i don't relate with all the topics relating to... uh. world war 2... and the... holocaust... and what leo thought and stuff like that.

tw/ sui thoughts and abuse (lots of kinds) and and stuff... that is because the fiction deals with lots of delicate topics. premise is. today's leonard peacock's birthday, he's going to unalive himself but wanted to give send-off gifts before he, yea.

when i started, i don't like, i don't know what i expected. i thought it'd be like... something like as he send the gift, he'll realize there's more to life, something about changing his mind, and yea. and honestly, it does go something sort of like that.

four gifts he prepared. one. to his elderly chainsmoking neighbour widower... they bond over watching Bogart's movies (i don't know what they're about. Something about war-films...?). leo and this guy walt could talk just using quotes from the movies alone. there it is, the first gift. a hat.

second gift is prepared to the guy he sort of tolerated and that tolerates him. a guy who he stood up for, playing violin. each day he watches this guy baback plays the violin and it's!! what i felt like the remain semblance of what friend is to him. though the gift he prepared ended up offending him. it's a six-figure check.

third gift is for his teacher herr silverman that taught the class about holocaust. it's sort of a ...? for me because at most in out country, it's only mentioned. but in the states it's a whole subject required to be taught. basically. the gift is the medal of the medal of leo's nazi-grandpa...

and the last gift... is the gun itself. clocking a bullet to the guy called asher. i think i realized how rusty i am in conveying my thoughts... i haven't written my thoughts in A VERY LONG TIME.. ANYWAY. the gift is the gun itself, right. who ended up not being used because he hesitated because of a memory. a memory of leo and asher that used to be so close, so free, and so... happy!! until asher was abused by his uncle... and the story depict that it impacted him into somehow becoming an abuser to leo. messing leo's mind and whole life, basically. because he felt broken. he felt hollow. a void. to which leo told this to herr silverman after a nerve-wracking confrontation before he pulled the trigger. (i should've used Herr with a capital H because it's german and capitalization matters but alas). whatever happened to his mother is basically messed up because although leo clinged to that very last glimmer of hope, it just... it just doesn't work out.

things aren't going to be okay. not all of it are going to be. whatever happened may seem small in the grand scheme of things. so just take it slow, see for another day to be better? kind of message i sort of get.

;; my goodness... anyway... what am i writing. OKAY. okay... what i thought is that. the depiction of how inner thoughts can be so scary... and... damn my mind is all over the place. uh... what i needed to say. it's so unnervingly cutting it close to home a bit. i know it's a fictional story and there needs to be tension and stuff. the gift that symbolises how he clings onto the hope that it will somehow... make his day a bit better. he recollects memories of how things go wrong. wondering what-ifs... and. let's just say i cried just few chapters in. because. leo is so honest and stubborn and lost and just so defeated. like... how eleanor oliphant is after... the whole thing.

the ending... i... the ending is a bit abrupt. and ngl i thought leo snapped when his mom couldn't do the one thing she could as a mom, granting the wish, and just giving him the tiniest droplet of hope. but then it ends with a letter from the future, a what-if future that leo wrote. i really thought he sort of went wild, but the letter give that semblance of... hope. naive. naive hope of things going better. but enough. enough for him to cling. distinguishing those he could trust (walt, (possibly herr silverman? who i thought had a bit of a kinda ??? comment at the end. idk he just did his part as a teacher but lowkey why do i get the feeling he sort of blames??? the kid??? in a panicked state??? and disregarded leo's fear of contacting his mother??? who he said wasn't going to listen??? she didn't listen. though he must've been super stressed after trying to dearm and calm a very... dangerous... hurt... kid... that attempted murder before. so i'll let it slide herr silverman >_> ))

overall... i feel like... it gave me the aching kind of pain. i don't usually read stuff that's so grounded like this. kinda edgy sharp too. and perhaps a bit angsty. with a sputter of dark and dry humour. please be well leonard peacock...!

Adding this this after I read my very messy review. One thing I love is how poignant and hopeful it can seem, although the overall theme is bleak. Leo's desperation to find reason, just simple reason that makes it worth it to reach adulthood and become a part of society... It just so honest... And then the letters he wrote to himself, convincing him of a future, where he too can be happy and settle in life. The talk with his favorite teacher assuring Leo of his own worth. I'm not s/dal per se. I cried a lot reading this book. It's not that thick. But I felt for Leo. For his world, and how it failed him.

--------------

would i read this... perhaps when i'm in a rather good place next time. I NEED TO READ ARI&DANTE SEQUEL NOW... for fluff reasons although i knew very well they're going to break up.

/// i'm going off topic.

I actually read several other titles like Luc and Oliver's in the pretend-boyfie operation THAT BLOOMS INTO THE REAL ONE. i like it. love love these tropes. enemies (maybe not enemies but like rivals) to lovers too. inject it to my veins. CUTE. CUTE. CUTE STUFF.... also i've peeked a bit of Alex and Henry's in the also... pretend-to-be-on-the-good-terms diplomatic relationship THAT SOMEHOW BLOOMS INTO REAL (AND BETTER) ONE?!?!?. i like it. love these tropes. idk about american politics and how the voting goes there but IDC. enemies (maybe not really, rather one-sided) to lovers too. INJECT IT TO MY VEINS. CUTE. CUTE. love the realization. i love me some tropes. i also read Rafe and Ben's very... agonizing end of the first book in how their relationship ending in confusion and hurt and angst. peeked the sequel of a love triangle with a girl thrown in (i did not quite like this trope) so i skimmed and haven't continued yet.

[oedipushansen]

what YA books i think the succession characters would like if they were lonely teens going to the school library

(according to a YA enthusiast)

tom: looking for alaska by john green. i feel like i don't really need to explain this one. he thinks he's miles halter & the whole "anti manic pixie dream girl" message kind of went over his head

roman: forgive me, leonard peacock by matthew quick. i think he'd enjoy leonard's character voice & his teen self would relate to him a lot, especially in a certain part of the book that i'm not going to spoil

shiv: she would've secretly liked twilight by stephenie meyer. i feel like she definitely went through this "not like other girls" sort of phase when she was a teen, which is part of why she'd like twilight & also why she'd never admit it to anyone

kendall: 13 reasons why by jay asher & i'm not even sure what my reasons are for this choice. i just feel it in my gut. the whole time reading it he'd be thinking "wow... girls go through so much... i would have supported her" . sometimes he fantasizes abt killing himself & doing what hannah baker did

greg: i don't even know if this counts as YA but i guess maybe the harry potter series? i don't think he would be a super fan or anything. he would just be like "oh um yeah i read those books... uhh 3 points for gryffindor am i right? haha" in conversations when he doesn't know what else to say

some extra commentary in the tags

[moonstruckme]

Well since you like book recs...maybe Forgive me, Leonard Peacock by Matthew Quick? It's like my favorite book of all time but you don't have to read it since it has a lot of triggering topics that I suggest you look up if you decide to read it

Whoa, it seems like it's in an really interesting perspective! Thank you sm for the tw sweetheart, I think that personally I will be skipping this one for those reasons after reading the summary, but I appreciate the rec nonetheless <3

[covercontest]

Cover Contest - Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock

[suits-of-woe]

i was tagged by the wonderful @goosemixtapes to post my top 9 books of 2022 at the halfway point of the year! now that i have a goodreads i can actually keep track of these things so linking that too in case anyone wants to friend me. my reviews are highly unprofessional. not counting any rereads of shakespeare plays for this.

paradise lost by john milton. yes it is that good. and yes there are also parts of it that bore me and make me want to roll my eyes but this is just one of the most incredible pieces of writing in history methinks.

another country by james baldwin. holy shit please read james baldwin if you haven't already. his books make me feel insane and he evokes complex characters like no one else.

gideon the ninth by tamsyn muir. yes i'm on this train. it's so good. extra points for this one for inspiring my latest writing project by reminding me how fun ensemble casts are.

notes of a crocodile by qiu miaojin. books that make me feel peeled open. if you're looking for non-western queer lit this is a great one.

volpone by ben jonson. i've been slacking too much on getting into non-shakespeare early modern drama and i enjoyed this way more than i was expecting to.

sea of tranquility by emily st. john mandel. also please read emily st. john mandel. actually read station eleven that's definitely my favourite of hers but she's one of my favourite authors right now and this was great too.

all's well by mona awad. this actually wasn't even a five star book for me but holy shit did it make me THINK. batshit crazy and definitely the best shakespeare retelling i read this year.

the secret history by donna tartt. not to be a dark academia bitch but the prose is incredible.

forgive me, leonard peacock by matthew quick. speedran this in one day and it made me feel so mentally ill.

i don't know who's been tagged but i'll shoutout @panhasablog @harry-leroy @lizardrosen and any other mutuals who want to :)

[sunswillow]

Forgive me

Inspired by the short novel,

“Forgive me,Leonard Peacock”

It hit a little too close to home (Triggering topics)

The pastor’s daughter couldn’t save you with her prayers

She never would,stuffed with a cursing religion

Brains were dead the moment she set foot on this world

A festering sack filled with lies

That antique you held in such high regard,

A relic of your unforgettable bloodline.

It creaked in your hold

Trigger rough and unmoving in your hands

It failed you

A last saving grace wrapped in pink construction paper

Failed you

You crept to the window of the traitor

Slowly pressing the heirloom into the glass

Waiting for the bright star signal

Only to be met with darkness and sinful lust

You coward.You ran.

Ran far,the flashing had faded and last hope seeped away

Dial for the tin man with an already beating heart

Silence

You were taken away and comforted

Old thing away in the river,sinking to the bottom

He came and got you,your very own saviour

Told you a shiny secret and your trust prevailed

Baring out your soul and gnashing as you went

They brought comfort,taking you away to their own abode

You left quickly

A chance to see another day

Another day where life can seemingly change

To be different

To meet her.Both daughter and wife.

Hold on

Come meet your bundle of joy

Come meet,

S

[weepinggothbagelfreak]

Now that the year is over and my extremely long break from this godforsaken platform is over I have decided I will share my Favourite book I read in each of the 12 months of 2022!

January: Dress Codes for Small Towns by Courtney Stevens

February: The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas

March: Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky (I have read it many times before but re-read it in March and continue to love it)

April: Oliver Twist by Charles Dickens (again read before but continue to reread!)

May: The Lamb Will Slaughter the Lion By Margaret Killjoy

June: Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock by Matthew Quick

July: It’s Kind of a Funny Story by Ned Vizzini

August: The Symptoms of Being Human by Jeff Garvin

September: Holding up the Universe by Jennifer Niven

October: All The Light We Can Not See by Anthony Doerr

November: Me and Earl and the dying girl by Jesse Andrews

December: Clarity and Connection by Yung Pueblo

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!

[heavensmark]

I’m trying to let him know what I’m about to do. I’m hoping he can save me, even though I realize he can’t.

Matthew Quick, Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock

[anxsity]

oh my god nobody told me forgive me, leonard peacock has footnotes in it

[sadpoetrylover]

Did that ever happen to you? You think someone is really important and different, but then you get to know them and it ruins everything? Do you know what I’m talking about?

Matthew Guick, Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock

[neo-shitty]

how about 3, 20, 40, 51 for the book ask game !

hi mads ._. answering this is a bit intimidating for me idk why HJSHD

book recs ask game!

#3 - a stand-alone that you wish was part of a series

i actually have nothing for this ;n; the stand-alones i've been reading so far either satisfy me with the way they ended or they're unredeemable that it's a miracle i even finished it :D however!! i have a short story that i wish would be its own novel, kitchen by banana yoshimoto :'< i needed more background, needed more to their story.

#20 - a book that got you out of a reading slump

forgive me leonard peacock by matthew quick. while no longer human was probably the beginning of my reading spree, i think this solidified the streak. the writing was just easy to read and with everything in the book happening in a day (with a few flashbacks anyway), i breezed past it. fuelled me to read more after it.

#40 - a book with a black cover

earthlings by sayaka murata. if you haven't read this, please do. i feel like it would be one of those books that you'd find intriguing BUT IM ALSO NOT 100% SURE DHDSJ

#51 - a book that you found underwhelming

if we were villains by m.l. rio, sorry dark academia babes. it was just not for me. i thought the characters were weird and the plot twist(s) a bit predictable that just dulled the whole thing for me.

[oedipushansen]

Do you have any good YA recommendations that have actually dark themes or depict teenagers in a way that's even remotely realistic? I never read YA bc it always feels so fake but maybe I'm not looking in the right places

OKAY so. please hear me out bc im abt to recommend u a fanfiction series but i swear to god its very far removed from the source material so u can just like. read it on its own. it’s called twin skeletons (here’s the link), and i’m sure i’ve talked abt or at least mentioned it on my blog before but its just very very special to me !! it rlly feels like ur getting in the heads of these Awful teenagers and all of the subjects r dealt w/ in like. such a raw & unfiltered way in my opinion. it doesnt feel fake or preachy or like the reader is being talked down to or anything. the writing can be messy & imperfect bc its a fic from a couple years ago, but i still think its so so good and so worth it. the characters felt so real to me & it was dark & complicated & frustrating & it managed to stick w me years after reading it & i love it so much. i use it as a big inspiration for how i would want to write teenagers if i ever. like. actually got arnd to writing anything. maybe my own sentimental feelings r making me biased but god i just think its such an amazing coming of age story and the writer just Understands how teenagers think and act so well and u should absolutely read it if u want a realistic YA story

for actual published work, i have more trouble bc u r right! finding published YA that doesnt try to water things down can unfortunately be v difficult & most of these r just books i read in my school’s library or in the Teen Section of my local bookstore a long time ago & particularly stuck w/ me & some of them im not even like. That sure counts as YA i just know that im a Young Adult who read & enjoyed it & it was also abt Young Adults. maybe its cheating but i honestly dont think that whether or not its Officially Supposed to Be YA is that important, im assuming ur just trying 2 find good coming of age stories

these arent in any particular order im just listing off whatever i think

speak by laurie halse anderson

allegedly by tiffany d jackson

forgive me, leonard peacock by matthew quick

dare me by megan abbott

perks of being a wallflower by stephen chbosky

catcher in the rye by jd salinger (uve most likely already read this but it wouldn’t feel right to leave this classic out)

my heart & other black holes by jasmine warga (a little rushed at times but felt like a breath of fresh air after trying to read annoyingly pretentious trainwrecks like fault in our stars & all the bright places. does what those novels Tried to do but manages it well in my opinion)

these violent delights by micah nemerever (not considered YA lol but i asked the author personally & the characters r like. 16-17 for majority of it & its an incredible book that i want everyone to read anyway so! why not put it here)

my dark vanessa by kate elizabeth russell (definitely not supposed to be YA but a lot of it is from the perspective of a teenage girl & i can imagine it being in my school’s library & its very good & relatable so!! again why not put it here!!)

black iris by elliot wake (i think this is considered more new adult than YA but whatever)

fault line by christa desir

forbidden by tabitha suzuma

hell followed with us by andrew joseph white (not sure if u can call this realistic considering its fantasy but its dark & definitely YA & it has body horror & i liked it so it’s going in)

house of hollow by krystal sutherland (again, this is a fantasy, but i thought it was pretty good when i read it & its YA so it’s going in)

i’m somewhat delirious after taking a nap so im srry if this is like 97% of me just rambling or not making sense. i know our tastes r probably not the same so some of these (or just YA in general) may not be for u but i rlly hope u enjoy or appreciate any of these if u ever decide to read them <3

[irritatinglytidsoptimist]

Leonard :My life will get better? You really believe that?

Herr Silverman :It can. If you're willing to do the work.

Leonard :What work?

Herr Silverman :Not letting the world destroy you. That's a daily battle.

Forgive me, Leonard Peacock; Matthew Quick