#forgot that I made the jeep facing the other way in the story

[verefex]

yoinked

Scene from my story, in which Sky nearly has a whole car full of snacks. Thank goodness for that perfectly-placed flashlight beam.

[aliteralsemicolon]

I'll wait for your love - 18+

See part 1 | See Part 2 | Part 3 of We can't be friends (wait for your love)

The only thing you’re sure of is that you don’t want things to go back to the way they were and Spencer agrees that change may be for the best.

Spencer Reid X Fem! Reader

DISCLAIMER This story is NSFW and contains graphic depictions + detailed descriptions of adult content. It is intended for mature audiences only, minors do not interact!  You are responsible for the content you consume. Make sure to read all necessary warnings. Please remember this is a work of fiction; if you don’t like it, don’t read. 

WARNINGS: Panic attack mentioned, slight PTSD depictions, case details (barely) mentioned, alcohol mentioned like once. Smut (not the focus at all): making out, nipple play, clitoral stimulation, praise, use of pet names (angel, pretty girl, etc). Proceed at your own risk.

Word count: 10.4K See notes at end for authors note & spoilers.

Avoiding Spencer wasn’t overly difficult on the flight back to D.C. You weren’t entirely sure how to face him after he risked his life for you, so you just pretended to be asleep the whole time. You even took a separate jeep from the tarmac to avoid a car ride back with him, and almost made a clean getaway to your car in the parking lot when Hotch stopped you. 

“I’m sorry to hold you back, but I do need the Anchorage report on my desk before tomorrow morning. It can’t be put off any longer.”

He looked extremely apologetic and you understood. You’re grateful he gave you as much time as he has. That’s how you ended up stuck at work til the later hours of the evening. Besides the few workaholics, security guards and janitors roaming around the corridors, the only other person there with you is Spencer, oddly. Even Hotch has gone home. You’ve spent more time stalking the doctor work through the pile of case files on his desk than you have writing in the one on yours. Only when you're caught do you look away. 

“Everything okay?” The innocent curiosity in his big eyes further reddens the hot embarrassment in your cheeks.

“Fine.” You mutter, dipping your head back down to the open page.

You’re never going to get this damn file done if you can’t get him out of your head, and him being barely three feet away from you doesn’t help. It’s very difficult for you to get your words from pen to paper. Anchorage wasn’t haunting you like it did at first. It was a traumatic event, yes, but alone isn’t the cause of this…block. Obviously the reality that you’re leaving is starting to dawn on you. Somehow your mind has linked this case with your departure and finishing this report makes it more official than your actual resignation. 

Plus, as much as you definitely hate Spencer, you do did care for him. The shock of him almost getting himself killed in front of you is another thing occupying your mind. It’s barely been twenty four hours since then, it’s still fresh. You can see him stand and grab his satchel in your peripheral vision, he’s preparing to leave. There are a lot of memories attached to that brown leather bag. 

Things he would carry in there for you when you forgot your own bag. 

You don’t make it obvious that you’re watching him gather his things in small glances. 

He bought extra hair clips for you to keep in there because you would often forget those too. 

It’s over now. No point in dwelling on it. You shake your head once he’s out of sight, trying to force him out of your thoughts. Now that he’s gone you’re hoping to actually be able to get some work done.

He taught you chess with the mini chess set he keeps in there. You discovered that you actually quite liked chess and would ask to play with him all the time. It was also his ‘secret’ weapon to help you calm down. 

You roll your eyes to push back the tears from the memories that refuse to stop playing. This can wait until you get home, it’s not important. 

It wasn’t the chess set that helped you feel calm. Spencer could win chess against you in just a few moves, but he would deliberately stretch out the game so you could have room to breathe. The longer the game, the more time you had to spend focused on the moves and slow down your thoughts. You could open up at your own pace. He would let you feel in control.

It doesn’t matter if he’s near you or not, Spencer has a way of invading your headspace wherever he is. Your train of thoughts is interrupted with a light thud on your right. You covertly roll the tears away again and turn to examine the source of the noise. A mug of coffee placed on your desk by

“Spencer?” You sputter breathlessly. 

“Sorry. I know you told me to stop. This is the last time I promise.” 

You don’t fully comprehend what he’s going on about, not expecting him to be here at all. 

“I thought you left.”

“I did– was. I was leaving, but I thought I’d make you some coffee before I go. Since you’ve been here a while.” He awkwardly explains. 

You steadily direct your attention back to the mug, reeling in what was happening. 

“Before you get mad, this really is just a cup of coffee from a colleague who thought it might help keep you energised if you’re planning to stay late. There’s no ulterior motive…”

He continues rambling but you’re not mentally present to hear any of it. 

He made you coffee. 

Even though you’ve been nothing short of an absolute bitch. Granted he was a bitch first, but the point is that he’s still thinking of your well being regardless. You can’t hide your tears from him this time. It’s the soft buzz of your name that draws you back to him. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you! I’ll take the coffee–”

His panicked sentiment is cut short when you jump out of your seat and shove past him. The breakdown you’ve been avoiding hits you like a ton of bricks. You run into the nearest empty office and he runs after you, making it past the door before you can lock him out. 

“Spencer p–please get out! I’m fine.” You’re pacing in the same spot, fanning away the stream falling down your cheeks, hyperventilating.

He doesn’t respond to you, instead cautiously taking your hand in his. You’re in too frenzied a state to care. He guides you to sit on the couch against the wall and you blindly go along with it, still trying to get yourself together. 

You want to stop the tears, but you can’t do that until you get your breathing under control. He slowly wraps his arms around you and you slump into him, head buried in his chest. You should try to fight it, you should push him away, but you can’t. Right now, surrounded by his scent, held in his arms, you don’t want to move. It’s not something you can properly explain, but the feeling is so comforting that nothing else matters. All you know is that you’re safe and that’s enough for you to allow yourself to finally break down. 

The first few sobs are loud, like there’s not enough air in the world to stabilise your lungs. They fizzle out into silent whimpers and you grasp onto the fabric of his sweater, balling it in your fist, just letting yourself feel. Spencer still hasn’t said a word. His right hand is rubbing circles on your back and his left hand is gently scratching just above the nape of your neck. 

You stay like that for a while, even after you’ve stopped crying. It’s been so long since you’ve been in this little bubble with him and you don’t want it to end. You pull away when you feel the strap of his satchel across his stomach as your hand drops to his lap. He visually follows every move you make. 

“You’re still wearing your bag.” You sniffle, leaning back. 

“I am.” He whispers, understanding that you no longer want to be touched. 

He stays in his original position; facing you, but now with one arm resting on top of the backrest and the other idly in his lap. You’ve moved so that now you're facing ahead with your back leaning against the cushions, pulling your knees into your chest. You had never found comfort in silence until the first time you experienced it with Spencer. Staying huddled, you divert your eyes towards him. There’s a distinct wet patch on his shirt. It’s less visible on his sweater-vest, but it’s there. 

“Your shirt’s wet now.” It’s almost impossible to make out what you’re saying with your mouth muffled against your arm, but of course, Spencer manages anyway. 

“It’ll dry.” He smiles, tone delicate. 

“But– germs.” You choke a little due to your previous crying. 

“It can be washed.” He’s using his comforting voice again. 

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

The silence resumes. Neither of you dares to move, trying to freeze this moment. It’s obvious that you didn’t grasp how badly you craved each other’s presence. 

“D–do…” The initial sound grabs Spencer’s full attention again. You take a deep breath, hoping he wants to stay here as much as you do. “Do you still carry that little chess set with you?”

A small, airy chuckle comes out from him. 

“Would you like to play?”

“Please.” 

He creates some more space between you and begins to set up the board once he’s pulled it out of his satchel. You move to accommodate the set up, now facing him with your legs crossed on the couch and shoes abandoned on the floor. You wait for him to make the first move. After the opening moves the game doesn’t seem to get any harder and you know he’s throwing the game. You’re okay at chess, but he’s obviously a lot better. 

“You’re going easy on me.” You mumble.

“Because you’re not even trying.” He replies blithely.

“Why are you doing this?”

“Like I said, you’re making it too easy.” He gently teases.

“Not that. Helping me. You hate me, remember?” You say it like it’s the most casual thing in the world. 

“I don’t hate you.” 

“You literally told me that you hate me.” You chuckle, numb to the hurt that sentence once brought you. 

“So did you.” He counters in defence, trailing your hand as it carelessly moves your queen to her demise. 

“I was angry.” 

“So was I.” He spared your queen, in turn leaving his king vulnerable. 

“It doesn’t matter now…” You don’t finish the rest of your sentence but Spencer still hears it.

You’re leaving soon anyway.

“It matters to me.” If he left something unsaid you choose to ignore it. 

“You’re letting me win.” You whisper, feeling the urge to cry some more, but there’s no tears left. 

He doesn’t make a move, bringing the game to a halt. He’s waiting for you to meet his eyes. You know what he’s going to say. 

“Spencer, don't.” You beseech.

“Why?” If you looked at him instead of the board you’d see the way his eyes are pleading at you. 

“There’s no point.” This time it’s your voice that cracks. 

You're looking everywhere else and it makes you too aware of your surroundings. Like how the couch is lined up directly under a window that anyone could peek into. 

“Leaving is not the only option.” He solicits. 

He regards your discomfort and closes the blinds from where he’s sitting, pulling you back into the privacy of your bubble. 

“There’s nothing that you can say to make things go back to how they were.” You bite the inside of your cheek, fiddling with a random pawn. 

It’s not a proper two way conversation. You’re talking to yourself just as much as Spencer’s talking to you. You’re both trying to convince you of what you’re saying. 

“Things don’t have to go back to how they were.” The squeaks in his soothing tone are starting to melt any resolve you have left. 

“There’s no reason for me to stay.” You oppose, trying to make any argument stick.

“I can think of more reasons for you to stay than for you to go.” 

There’s an underlying tension bubbling. Neither of you notice it over your desperate tug of war. 

“I don’t think there’s anything that you can say to get me to stay.” Another baseless sentence meant more for you than for him. 

“Give me one chance. One chance to convince you.” He can see your internal struggle at his request and he throws out one final plea to sway you. “For nothing more than closure.” 

Closure.

You’ve spent months in turmoil over the hows and the what ifs, trying to conjure answers to questions that wouldn’t stop pestering you. You couldn’t turn him down even if you wanted to. 

“Closure?” You repeat, eyes finally latching onto his.

“Closure.” He whispers back in reassurance. 

“Even if you can’t convince me?” You caution, not wanting to give him false hope.

He doesn’t say anything, thinking over the scenario in his head. He simply nods and you mimic the action, blinking away the blur in your vision and dragging around chess pieces. It takes Spencer a second to figure out that you were moving them back to their default places.

“Okay new game.” You announce. 

Spencer blinks in confusion, waiting for you to elaborate. 

“I can ask you any question I want and you have to answer honestly. If by the end of the game I’m not convinced to stay, you back off for the remainder of my time here.” You pause for him to interject, but he doesn’t. “That means we stay away from each other, only talking when needed for work. Even then as cordially and professionally as possible. No more trying to make casual conversation or bringing me coffee or anything like that.”

“Till the end of the game?” He studies you. 

“Yup.” You smack your lips together. “Til one of us checkmates the other.”

“This means you’ll actually give me a fair shot?” 

“Between the two of us, I’m not the one known for cheating at games.” You jab, trying to ease the tension you could definitely feel now. 

“I meant a fair shot at convincing you. As in you’ll seriously take what I have to say into account.” He discards your attempt.

“No, I know. The opportunity was just too good to pass up.”

He can tell you’re trying to hold back a laugh from the small smile on your lips. It’s as adorable to him now as it was the first time he saw it. 

“Any rules before we start?” He asks, unable to hide his own smile.

“Only that we have to be honest.” You answer, immediately dropping your smile.

“Okay.” He agrees, smiling slightly wider.

“Okay.” You nod again.

When he finally makes the first move it hits you that you don’t actually know where to start. Theoretically, you know what you want to ask, but don’t know how to ask. You don’t know if you should jump straight into the questions or start with some ice breakers. Nothing is said for about four to five moves when Spencer pauses the game. 

“Are you going to ask any questions or have you decided that you just want to play one last game for your closure?”

“Huh?” You snap your vision away from the board. “Oh, sorry. I was thinking.”

“Do you want to return to the game after thinking of a few questions to ask?” He raises his brow and relaxes his jaw.

“No, no, we don’t need to do that. Let’s keep playing, the questions will come to me.” You brush off his suggestion and motion for him to continue with his turn. He doesn’t.

“What?” Your voice raises and you scrunch your nose from perplexity.

“Sorry, it’s just that you’ve put us on a time limit and this is how you’re using our time?” He airs, failing to conceal his amusement.

“Well excuse me if I don’t exactly have a list of questions ready to go for you.” You narrow your eyes in annoyance. 

“Why would you suggest this if you don’t have any questions?” He tries to hold back his laugh and ends up snorting as a result. 

“I have questions!” You jabber, unable to maintain your annoyance. “I don’t know what– where do I even start?”

“Start with whichever one comes to you first.” He shrugs, finally making his move. 

A lot of things come to mind when you think about it. The thing that screams the loudest twitches a nerve and you become instantly irate. 

“Okay.” You nod, tone harsh and flat. “Let’s start with whatever the fuck possessed you on the last case. What was your thought process when you put your life in danger like that?”

He almost gets whiplash from the change in mood, his face literally reads ‘are you serious?’. 

“He was going to shoot you.” He states like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

“I was wearing a vest, I would’ve been fine.” You contend. 

“I wasn’t willing to take that risk.” 

“Risk?! You literally put yourself in danger for no reason!” 

“I think it was a pretty good reason actually!” 

“Spencer that was–” You stop yourself with a grumble, inhaling deeply. 

“It was instinctual, okay?” He softly explains. “I saw him aim the gun at you and I just reacted.” 

“Well it was a stupid reaction!” You whine. 

“I’m not going to apologise for it.”

The glare you give is piercing, you bite the inside of your cheek to hold your tongue before you say something you can’t take back. Spencer throws his head back and sighs. 

“But I will promise not to do it again.” He adds, not fully intending to keep it. 

This was slowly turning into another argument, both of you shooting back too fast with your responses. You aren’t in the mood for another argument. So you redirect your attention to the game. 

“Check.” You mumble, buying yourself time to think of another question. “Why are you here so late anyway?”

“I wanted to finish some work before tomorrow morning.” He replies, moving his king to safety. 

“Yeah, what’s up with that? You could’ve done those tomorrow as well.” Your voice softens out of curiosity. 

“I wanted to get them finished in case there were more tomorrow.” It’s not his best excuse. You don’t know what he means by that. He doesn’t know what he means by that. He’s lying to you. 

You scoff, poking your tongue against your cheek. “Wow. You really can’t not cheat during a game, can you?” 

“Right, sorry.” Spencer clears his throat after the initial confusion clears. Complete honesty, it was your only rule. “I wanted to be here.”

“For…” You egg on, purposely rolling your ‘r’s to prompt him. 

“I wanted to make sure that you were okay.” He admits, looking away from you. 

“Why?” You’re genuinely puzzled at the admission. “You’re the one who almost died. I mean, it was stupid and your fault, but still. If anything I should be checking up on you.”

“Check.” That’s the only response he gives you. He hopes that you don’t push further, but he knows that you will. 

His lack of response only forces you to think about the possible reasons by yourself, using context clues to figure it out. You are a profiler, after all. 

“Is this because of the panic attack?” You note how his jaw twitches when he swallows at the mention. “It is! You seriously chose to spend your night stuck at the office because of that?” 

“What else was I supposed to do? It’s not like you would talk to me, you literally refused to even look at me!” He gripes. 

“Spencer I think anyone would panic if they got tackled to the ground by a six foot man without warning. I’m fine.” You giggle.

“What happened to complete honesty?” It’s his turn to glare at you.

“I am being honest!” You protest.

“Lying by omission is not being honest.” He rolls his eyes.

“Okay Mr. know-it-all, what am I lying about?” You challenge.

“Seriously? You don’t remember?” His approach is doubtful and he just stares at your dazed expression.

“Fucking spit it out already, Spence!” 

Any sarcasm he had geared up for a response dissipates at your use of his nickname. He’s heard it plenty in the last few months, but not from you. For a moment things feel like they never changed. It stings in a bittersweet kind of way. 

“You sc–screamed– uh–” He clears his throat and rapidly blinks, his nose twitches in the process. “During that panic attack, you repeatedly asked me to stay with you. Y–you, uh– you said you didn’t think you could li–”

“Stop. Stop. Stop talking.” Your voice quavers and you hold your hand up, ears burning up. “I don’t wanna know.”

You don’t know why it makes your heart race the way it does, you don’t even remember it. He waits a while before speaking up again, wanting to be careful about how he goes about the topic without you shutting down.

“May I ask you a question?” He voices professionally, trying to make the conversation less personal so you don’t feel cornered. 

You nod, moving your king out of check.

“Is there anybody you will talk to about Anchorage? Without pushing them away?” He keeps the game going as he speaks to provide you with a distraction. 

“Woah– Anchorage? Where is that coming from?” You titter.

“I want you to remember that we promised to be honest and I won’t push if you ask me to stop, but I know for a fact that you aren’t okay.” He waits for you to stop him but you don’t, even though you know roughly what he’s going to say. “Panic attacks aside, your avoidant behaviour around the topic, inability to focus, being easily startled, you’re showing signs of PTSD.” 

“Spence, c’mon. I don’t need to talk to anyone. I already passed the psych evals.” You attempt to make light of the situation with carefully chosen words so you’re not lying. It was a futile attempt, you know he’s not willing to budge when he doesn’t give you anything more than a blank stare. 

“Why does this matter so much to you?” You sigh in defeat. “Whatever happened…that’s a part of the job, you know that.”

“I also know, first hand, that it takes over your life. You can’t run from it, no matter how much you try to.” His tone is soft as he speaks, yet you feel like he’s accusing you. 

“I am not running! Why would you say I’m running?” You object with a high voice, shrugging your shoulders. “And it’s not taking over my life. Also, check.”

“Because that’s what you do when you don’t want to deal with something.” He states point blank.

“Woah– so– that was entirely unnecessary.” You stammer, unable to deny it. 

“I’m not criticising you. I just happen to know you and I know that you have a tendency to run from your problems. And it is taking over your life.” 

“You’re profiling!” You gasp.

“You know that it’s not something we can just turn off! No matter how much we pretend like we can.” He waves his hands defensively. 

You can’t argue with that, your lips twisting to the side. 

“You want me to be honest?” You murmur sheepishly. 

“Always. Please.” He responds gently, wanting you to be as comfortable as possible.

“I don’t want to talk about it. I spend a good chunk of my day actively avoiding thinking about it, but somehow I always end up thinking about it anyway. At times it’s like I can almost feel…” You breathe in instinctively. “This is the first time in months I’ve been able to do anything without it lingering in the back of my mind. Can we please talk about it another time? I would rather talk about other things…”

Another time. 

“...right now.” 

You’ve implied that there will be another time to talk and he definitely caught it, even if he pretends that he hasn’t. You don’t even know if what you said is true, you got too comfortable with the familiarity of his friendship. It was something you said out of habit from back when you two actually were friends. Not even a full hour's worth of conversation with him and he’s already worming his way back in.

“Um–” You drag yourself further back on the couch, creating more physical distance. 

“That’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it at all.” Spencer senses your urgency to leave the situation and jumps into damage control. “It’s your turn.”

“No, um, I should– I should go. Thanks for doing thi– helping me.” You turn away from him, aiming for your shoes and ready to bolt.

“The game’s not over.” He points out.

“Yes it is.” You declare, still in the process of putting on your shoes.

“You said til checkmate.” He huffs, shifting out of his seated position. 

“I forfeit!” You throw your arms out in a shrugging manner, standing up after him.

“I can’t believe this. You’re going back on your word!” He doesn’t even raise his voice. He’s just hurt. 

“What’s the point, Spencer? Closure doesn’t mean anything, I’m still leaving! You can’t magically change my mind!” You yell, getting louder with each sentence. 

“I disagree. I think that you’re running again!” He blocks your way and yells back, maintaining his volume throughout. 

“Maybe you should think less!” You suggest, still yelling. Sarcasm is your defence mechanism when you have no actual defence. 

“You know what else I think?” He continues, emphasising the word ‘think’ every time he says it out of spite. “I think that you agreed to this thinking I won’t be able to convince you, but I am!”

“I don’t care what you–”

“I think you don’t want to finish the game that you started, because you’re afraid to ask the harder questions!”

“Stop.” You command, but it doesn’t deter him.

“I think that you’re scared to hear my answers because then it all becomes too real for you–” 

“Stop!” The words almost get stuck in your throat, but you choke them out. “You’re wrong.” 

“If I’m wrong then prove it. To both of us.” He sits back down and motions to the board. “Ask the real questions.” 

“I don’t need to prove anything, you’re wrong.” You uphold.

“So leave.” He challenges, knowing that you won’t be able to. 

If you truly believed that he’s wrong you wouldn’t feel the need to prove it, but you do and he knows that. You walk back over to the couch, head nodding from irritation, tongue poking your cheek. You kick your shoes off with a bit of force and return to your earlier position across from him. 

“Your move.” He reminds you as you settle in.

You don’t reply yet, but move your rook to set him up for the next move.  

“Check.” He smugly states.

“Who was she?” 

You don’t move, examining him close for any change in his behaviour. He obviously didn't anticipate that question first, snapping his sights back on you. 

“Sorry?” 

“The woman who greeted me at your door. That night at your apartment.” 

“Charlotte.” He replies, holding your gaze to show you he’s got nothing to hide. “We met at the library a week before.”

“Are you guys together?” You break away first, diverting your eyes to the chess board and trying to seem unfazed when moving your knight. 

“No, God, no.” He denies immediately. 

“I don’t know, she seemed pretty cosy for someone you met a week prior.” You don’t mean to sound as snide as you come across.

“No, it wasn’t like that at all.” He shakes his head. 

“You sure? Because I’m pretty sure I saw her mark you up with a kiss on your cheek before disappearing.” You don’t look at him, examining a captured pawn as you wait for him to make his move. 

“Mark me up?” He cognizes it instantly. “Are you…jealous?”

“What? No!” You vehemently deny, your voice rising in several pitches. 

“You are!” His eyes widen. 

“I am not jealous.” 

His jaw slacks and he lets out an amused scoff. He doesn’t say anything, making you feel the need to fill the silence. 

“I only bring it up because…I know you have a thing with…germs.” Your words falter because of your own uncertainty and you want to dissolve into the fucking floor. 

Spencer tries to suppress a smile by poking his tongue out slightly. If the atmosphere was lighter he’d tease you about it, but he doesn’t want to make you take off again. Still, he feels the need to clarify the events of the night. 

“I don’t know why she kissed my cheek, it was completely random.” He takes his time saying it, still fighting a smile.

You swallow nervously and purse your lips to the side in response. One question answered and you only have new ones in its place. Did she stay the night? Did she sleep on the couch or on his bed? Did he see her again? 

“I drove her home right after you left.” He can almost hear your thoughts. 

“Was it a date?” You softly gulp again, unsure if you even have a right to know.

“Yes.” He hesitates. 

“Oh.” 

“I wanted to try out casual dating for once.” He chagrins. “I honestly don’t know how you did it, it’s not even fun.” 

“No it’s not.” You chuckle dryly. “So no second date, I presume?”

“Definitely not. I was just stressed the whole time.” He chuckles with you. 

“Take a shot of tequila before you go next time, it helps settle the nerves.” You joke, jumping to give him advice you hope he doesn’t take. You can’t help it, it’s what you’ve always done. Even if it goes against what you desire. 

“While moderate consumption of tequila can help relax the nervous system, I will not be turning to alcohol for stress relief.” 

“Then blast classical music while you get ready and give yourself a pep talk out loud, it’s actually really efficient–”

“There won’t be a next time. For a really long time, if ever.” He interjects, miffed at your insistence. 

“You willingly plan on committing to lifelong celibacy?” You exclaim with a puzzled look. “Why?!”

Spencer laughs at how raw your reaction is. He didn’t plan on giving out any more details but, with that prompt he decides that it’s now or never. 

“I don’t think any future dates will appreciate me picturing someone else in their place the whole time.” 

Oh. 

Both of you lock eyes at the same time. This is not a road you’re prepared to go back down, even if that’s literally the whole point of this conversation. You’re too stunned to reply and Spencer uses this as an opportunity to be elaborate. He doesn’t want any misunderstandings this time. 

“I couldn’t stop pictur–”

“Shut up.” You blurt out the sentence in almost one word. 

Your heart’s racing like you’re standing on the edge of a cliff. You’re flustered, every part of your body is heated from how terrified you are.

“Y–you don’t have t–t…you don’t owe m–me an explanation.” You try to elaborate, contradicting yourself and stumbling on your words.

“I want to.” He reads that you’re apprehensive but pushes regardless. 

“Please don’t.” The tears that you thought had dried out were building again.

“Why ask if you won’t let me answer?”

You don’t have anything to say to that. Did you want answers? Yes. Still, you didn’t expect how hard they’d be to hear. He whispers your name and you scramble to think of your next move, and not in chess. You’re unable to even think about the game right now. You want to bolt, but you can’t even get yourself to move. So you deflect. 

“Because it doesn’t matter.”

“I disagree.” Although his tone is subdued, the pace of his wording is faster. “I think it does matter and that’s why you’re afraid to hear it.”

He’s right but you can’t bring yourself to agree. This is only going to over-complicate an already complicated situation.

“It’s not enough.” Your voice cracks.

“How can it be if you won’t even give it a fair shot?” 

“Fair?” 

It comes out louder than you intended. His words trigger resentment within you and you snap. 

“Nothing about any of this is fair! I mean, fucking hell, Spencer, four years. That’s how long we’ve been friends. I mean I’ve shared shit that I thought I would be taking to the fucking grave with you! You were my best friend for four fucking years and all it took was like, five seconds?”

You sob, softer than when you were first crying, but the frustration is clear. He reaches out to touch your hand, but you push his hand away. 

“No!” You choke, sobbing harder when you try to compile your thoughts. “Five seconds to destroy all of it! It makes me wonder if everything we shared, our friendship, was it ever even that strong?”

Your anger simmers to sadness, as evident with how your yelling fades into whispering in the last sentence. 

“I can’t even tell you when exactly those five seconds were. I mean, I know…but…I don’t. Where did it go wrong, Spence?” 

“I don’t know.” Is all he can say after a beat of silence.

He knows exactly where it went wrong. 

“Yeah, me neither!” You sniffle, immediately wiping a single tear that manages to escape. “So again, it doesn’t matter.” 

“When you took it back.”

“What?” 

“That’s where everything changed for me. You showed up at my apartment drunk, after your date with Nathan. Your exact words were ‘I mean as an amazing friend’.” His voice strains like he’s forcing himself to speak. 

Your gaze falls, eyes darting everywhere as you try to jog your memory beyond the one sentence you remember. 

“I don’t understand.” You croak.

“You know, if I wasn’t who I am, maybe you could love me the way I love you.” He chuckles bitterly, fighting back tears of his own. “That was– that was, uh, what you said before you took it back.”

“Spence, please…” You whine without sound, tilting your head back and chewing on your lip as a final attempt to stay composed. 

“No, you wanted to know where it went wrong.” He laughs falsely to downplay his tears. “You can say it doesn’t matter all you want, but the fact is, it does matter. It matters to me and I won’t let you run from it anymore.” 

You can’t look at him. Not with tears free falling down your face. You cup your hands together in your lap, pressing your fingers and nails together. 

“You told me that I couldn’t love you.” You struggle to sound your words. 

“I’m an idiot.” Another chuckle, but he sounds defeated. “When you said that, all I could think about was how badly I wanted to say that I do love you.” 

You tearfully laugh at this admission. 

“I only took it back because of what you said. I panicked. I thought I’d ruined things…which I guess, I still did.” Another laugh from you.

Spencer responds with the same regretful sound. 

The irony spurs another fit of giggles amongst you, this one slightly longer and infinitely more rueful than the last. You look anywhere but at each other until it grows quieter. 

“If you loved me, why the fuck would you tell me that I couldn’t love you?” You sound just as, if not more, defeated than him. 

“Love.” Spencer corrects without missing a beat. 

Your brows twitch up and your heart jumps. 

“I was so hung up on every single part of your sentence that I didn’t know what to say first.” He proceeds to answer you without leaving much room to process what he said. “I wanted to tell you that I do love you. I love you as you are. Not as somebody else.”

“But you didn’t say any of that.” You ignore all his admissions, not fully comprehending. 

“Like I said, I’m an idiot. I was in so much disbelief and that was the first thing that came out of my mouth.” He sullenly huffs.

You don’t reply, sniffling with your head down. 

“For like a second, I had everything I wanted. Then you took it back and it was like my whole world had been ripped out from under me. In those five seconds, you’d given me a taste of what I’d spent four years convincing myself I couldn’t have and I just– I couldn’t go back after that.” He adds after a stillness. 

After a short while, your focus shifts from your hands to the board in front of you. The game’s been long forgotten. You’re immersed in the conversation, in spite of how strenuous it is. 

“I understand why you were distant, even mean, at first.” You snivel. “But after a while you just became downright cruel.” 

Spencer doesn’t shy away from your gaze when you do look at him. His skin is as drenched from crying as yours is. 

“I mean ‘I don’t want to see your face’? I know that I don’t really have a leg to stand on anymore, but, what the fuck Spencer?” 

He doesn’t cringe any less with every reminder. He’s truly regretted the words since they left his mouth. 

“I wanted to hurt you.” He reveals. “I thought you were being deliberately cruel and I wanted you to feel exactly how I was feeling.”

“Deliberately?” 

He nods, hanging his head.

“I thought that you knew how I felt and were just trying to be funny or something.” 

“Well I didn’t. I wasn’t.” You cut him off with a constricted voice.

“Even if you did, it’s not an excuse.” His eyes are glistening from the outpour of tears, but he still lifts his sights back to you. “I’m sorry.” 

You don’t know how to acknowledge his apology at all. You’re not even angry anymore, all you feel is sorrow and regret for the way everything happened. An entire friendship down the drain due to an unfortunate set of circumstances. 

“This is so fucked up.” You say with another mordant laugh. “All of this could have been avoided if we just talked about it.”

It stung less when you had somebody to blame for it. Your vision blurs and you make no effort to clear it, letting yourself cry openly. 

“We’re talking about it now?” It’s almost a squeak, the way it’s spoken.

“Yeah, but,” your shoulders slump, defeatedly, and you have to pause to control your sob, “what good does it do now? I’ve already lost the best thing that’s ever happened to me in the most pathetic way possible.”

“I’m right here.” He counters in such a small voice that it gives your goosebumps. 

“Spencer, too many things have been said…”

“When you first joined the team, I instantly knew I liked you.” 

He chews on his lip and darts his eyes around while he contemplates if he wants to continue. 

“I thought it was because of your kind nature. You were so sweet to everybody.” He decides he does, but his voice shakes throughout. “You have this gift…you make people feel so good about themselves. Whenever you spoke to me, I felt like the most important person in the world. It was impossible not to like you.”

You want to pretend like you don’t know where he’s going with this. You want to stop him, but your voice is stuck in your throat.

“It wasn’t until you bought me coffee for the first time that I realised just how much I liked you.” He chuckles again, as he reminisces in the memory. “You didn’t even get my order right until the fourth time, but it was still my favourite cup of the day.”

“You make me sound like a saint.” You finally choke out, attempting to play down the confession so it doesn’t crush your heart. “The only reason I even started bringing you coffee is because you learned how I like my coffee first.” 

“Not a saint, an angel. I’ve fallen so deeply in love with you that there are times where it genuinely feels like I’m in the presence of an angel.” 

It’s stated with such sincerity that it knocks the wind out of your pipes. Your eyes are widened and you’re biting your tongue with your mouth closed, staring at him with your chin tucked. He seems so confident, even with the glistening from previous tears in his eyes.

“I wanted to be in your life in any way you would have me. Even when it meant that I had to accept you with other people. And it was bearable, until…” His reminiscence only ends at the memory of the night that changed everything. “Like I said, I couldn’t go back.”

The last part fades into another whisper, only then do you find the courage to speak up. 

“Exactly.” You stick to your denial. “It can’t go back to how it was before.”

Your heart is so sure of what it wants, but your head is blinded by fear. You’re at a crossroads, except one path, the path that leads to everything you long for, is clouded with a fog of uncertainty. The other path is so painfully clear, you can practically see what’s on the other side. A fresh start, where the risk of fucking up further doesn’t exist. What you don’t see is Spencer.

“Good. I don’t want it to go back to how it was.” 

Spencer’s waiting for you to enter the fog. He’s going to be there holding your hand every step of the way. 

“I’ve already handed in my resignation.”

“That matters less than everything you’ve claimed doesn’t matter.” He leans in, intensifying his eye contact. 

“I’m pretty sure Hotch is really close to confirming my replacement.” You comment half-heartedly. 

You’re trying anything to dissuade both him and yourself from acknowledging the obvious, but he doesn’t plan on letting you avoid it. 

“I love you.” He whispers softly.

“Spencer…” You begin when he takes hold of your hands and whatever you had to say disappears from your tongue. 

“I love you. With every atom that makes up my body.” He repeats himself with further elaboration to instil it in your mind.

“I’m scared.” You whisper back with a sob, finally accepting it. 

“Why?” His voice can’t be any softer, but it still cracks a little.

“Because, you can’t guarantee that it’s going to end well.” You allow your vulnerability to peek through. “And that’s going to hurt more. I’d rather leave now than fall deeper.”

Although you didn’t say it back, it’s an indirect admission that you love him too. And it’s enough for him to fight harder.

“I know that my credibility isn’t the greatest,” he coaxes a small, sad scoff out of you, “but I truly believe that this, us, we’ll work. Because I know that I’m going to do everything I can to make this work.”

He feels bolder when you don’t pull away from his touch, folding your fingers into your palms and cupping over them. You observe the sight as it unfolds in lieu of a verbal response. 

“I’ve spent four years judging any man that comes into your life, wishing I was in their place, swearing I would treat you better than all of them.” 

Spencer feels the need to fill in the silence and he lets honesty guide his confession. He leans in further as if he’s indulging his deepest secret. 

“Four years wasted wondering what could be, cursing out those idiots, but taking no action to make it happen. And that makes me the biggest idiot out of all of them.”

When he speaks like this, with his big, imploring eyes and prayerful tone, it melts your heart to a point where it almost hurts. The more he talks, the more you begin to lean in, opening yourself up to him.

“It took losing you to realise how badly I fucked up and for that I will never forgive myself. I know that I have no right to ask you to waste any more time on me…”

There’s no more resistance against the pull you both physically feel to each other. 

“...but I’m begging you for a chance to do today what I should have done way before yesterday.” 

Your faces grow closer by the second, you can feel each other's breaths against skin.

“And I’m going to spend every tomorrow proving what I said today.” 

The likelihood of him changing your mind with one conversation wasn’t very high, both you and Spencer knew this when you got into it. You’re not entirely surprised when he somehow manages to overcome those odds too. You take the step to close the gap and lightly press your lips to his. 

It starts off soft, there’s no lust, no ulterior motive behind it. It’s a simple confirmation that you’re both present and this is real. Spencer doesn’t shy away from the kiss, not that you’d call this a kiss. It feels more intimate, more unguarded.

Spencer pulls you onto his lap as he shifts and leans back against the backrest to allow more room for you. You wrap your arms around him and the kiss deepens. In the midst of you straddling him, he slides the entire chess board off the couch and the pieces scatter on the floor. It’s only when you feel that the kiss can’t bring you any closer to him does the lust emerge. It fuels a desire to prove that you both whole-heartedly belong to each other. 

There’s no pinpointing when the switch happens. All you know is that the feeling of his lips against yours is no longer enough. You cup his jaw in your hands, swiping your tongue on his lower lip and it causes his grip on your waist to tighten. He parts his lips for you and it starts what you can only call a dance with your tongues. 

Your breathing grows hotter, your hips subconsciously grind against him. There’s a prominent bulge that brushes against your heat and you whine into his mouth. Spencer grunts your name in response and then abruptly pulls away.

“Wait, wait, wait, slow down.” He breathlessly whispers against your lips. 

“What?” You whisper back with concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Are you sure you want to do this?” He gazes into your eyes, afraid that you might regret this later.

“I’ve never been more sure, actually.” You’re confident at first but the look in his eyes makes you pull back further. “Unless…you’re not sure?”

“No, don’t misunderstand me. I want you.” His tone rises just above the previous whisper with his clarification. “It’s just that the last thing I want to do is take advantage of you when our emotions are running high.”

“Four years, Spencer.” You lean in again, just brushing your lips against his. “The only reason you should be making me wait is if you’re not sure.”

He shuts that idea down by crashing his lips on yours. The kiss is so hungry, so desperate, it’s everything both of you have longed for and denied yourselves everytime you’ve been in each other's presence. It doesn’t take long for hands to start to roam. He traces the curve from your waist to your hips, stopping just at the hem of your shirt, tugging it like he’s asking for permission. 

You rush to undo your buttons and he meets you halfway, starting at the bottom. His fingers brush against yours as you two reach the final button and you pull the fabric off yourself. You do the same with his shirt, lips remaining locked, except for the small gasps of air you take in between. It requires a bit more manoeuvring with him, but you’re both soon shirtless. 

His mouth travels to your jaw and you shut your eyes from pleasure as he continues down to your neck. The stubble on his chin tickles your skin. You cup it, gently pushing him away with a giggle. 

“Forget to pack a razor in your bag, Dr. Reid?” Your voice is teasing, more playful than seductive.

He chuckles, airily, hiding his groan. He knows you’re being sarcastic, but the use of his title, with your voice in this context, catches him off guard. You moan as you feel his growing bulge against your heat when his arms tighten around your waist, pulling you into his kiss. You swiftly undo the clasp of your bra, but before you can take it off, Spencer grabs you from just below the hips and lifts you up off him, gently laying you down on the seat of the couch. 

There’s no room for hesitation as his lips find your neck again and he nips at the skin. Every suckle earns him short gasps and the grip in his hair tightens as he travels lower. He stops just above your breast, pulling himself up to sit on his knees. You stare up at him with a heated gaze, the nail of your thumb resting between your teeth with your lips parted to make up for the loss of his lips. 

He reaches for your bra strap and begins pulling slowly, searching your eyes for any signs of you withdrawing consent. All he sees is how beautifully they sparkle when you give him a light nod. It’s been too long since he’s seen the stars that you hold in your eyes, stars he accustomed himself to before he even got to properly know you. 

Gazing into his eyes, you’ve never felt more sure, more safe. You trust him implicitly and you’ve never wanted anything more. His constant need to make sure you're comfortable sends shivers down to your core. He slides the garment off you and Spencer’s beyond grateful that he’s already on his knees, knowing that if he was standing he’d fall to them because of the sight below him. 

His eyes don’t falter once, he’s trying to permanently etch this moment into his brain. He hovers his fingers above your body, thumb brushing against your hardened nipple and you softly whine. He looks awestruck, almost like he doesn’t believe what’s happening. You can’t help but wonder if he thinks your boobs look weird. 

“Beautiful.” The words fall out of his mouth in a whisper, as if on cue. He’s really just thinking out loud.

Before you can respond he lowers down and plants a small peck to your sensitive nub before taking it into his mouth. You gasp again, head lolling back in pleasure. One of your hands goes for his hair, while the other clings to his hand that’s already holding yours. He switches between sucking, pulling and squeezing; rolling it between his tongue and uses his teeth to squeeze ever so slightly.

“S–spencer.” A strangled moan falls from your lips. 

You tug his hair, whining and moaning as your hips roll against the strain in his pants. When your motions become continuous, he lets out his own strained groan and is forced to release your nipple with a small ‘pop’. 

“Angel, I really need you to stop doing that.” He murmurs in your ear with a gentle, gravelly tone.

As soon as the nickname reaches your ears your hips involuntarily buck up again, making his hips automatically push down against yours. His cock presses against your core and you both moan, his head falling against your shoulder.

“Spence, more.” You quietly whine in against his ear. “I need more.” 

“More?” He echoes back, turning his head so that your lips brush past each other when speaking. 

“Mhm.” You nod weakly as he brushes a strand of hair out of your face and weakly connects his lips with yours.

Even when he’s got you vulnerable and at your most compromised, he’s still as gentle as ever. You don’t feel him undo your pants or sneak his hand in them, but you definitely feel him press the pads of his fingers against your clothed clit. Air escapes through your nose in a huff of surprise and you hum in his mouth, hips jolting at his touch. He can feel your slickness through your underwear. 

“Oh, my pretty girl.” He sighs, breaking the kiss and directing his whispers in your ear again. “All wet for me?”

“Please..” Even with your broken whimper you beg him for more. 

“Like this?” His deft fingers swipe your panties to the side, fingers landing directly on the clit this time. 

They feel cold at first. The contrast against your heated body makes you squirm and you groan in a soft, high pitch. 

“What are you feeling right now?” He pries a verbal response from you, circling your bud lightly. “Tell me.”

“Good.” You sigh, eyes shut as you try to savour the pleasure. 

“Good?” His voice is still soft against your ear.

“Mhm.” You nod, one arm draping against his shoulder and the other hand running along his scruffy jaw. “So good.” 

“And this?” He adds pressure to his movements. “Does this feel good?”

Your hips buck again and he feels rewarded when you moan. There’s no doubt that the sound of your voice is his favourite. He especially loves it when it’s directed at him. Whether that be in the form of a laugh or your sweet moans. It makes him somewhat dizzy. His lips attach to the skin just under your jaw in an attempt to coax more. 

It’s very effective. Fingers working your bundle of nerves, circling and flicking while changing the pressure, and mouth kissing and sucking near your pulse. It makes your back arch, hand gripping his shoulder so you don’t float away. He’s careful not to leave any purple traces of him on your neck, mindful of you being bombarded with questions from your colleagues.  

“I love how reactive you are, Angel. You sound divine– fuck.” He can’t help the grunt that escapes him. “You are divine.”

His touch alone is enough to make you feel electric, but the sweet nothings he’s whispering in your ear will be what send you over the edge. It’s a foreign feeling, being reminded that he values you for more than just your body. Just under an hour ago you had incredibly high walls built around you and none of them are left standing as you exposed under him.

Spencer’s not the first man to touch you, but he is the first that loves you. It’s something you’re not at all used to and it feels as overwhelming as it does good. It transcends the want, no, the need for the man on top of you beyond lust or love. You plan to show him just how strong that need is tonight. 

The carpeted floor is littered with your clothes, carelessly thrown around and tiny chess pieces scattered around the abandoned chess board. Spencer’s comfortably lying on the couch, facing the ceiling and you’re lying directly on top of him with your face buried in his neck. 

You run your fingers back and forth along his jaw, scratching his beard in slow streaks. He’s enveloped you in his arms, one around your lower back and the other playing with your hair. It doesn’t feel as peaceful as it seems, both of you are afraid of being the first to speak. You know you can’t stay like this forever and you decide to bite the bullet. 

“Spencer?” 

You only get silence from his end. You know he’s awake because his motions in your hair don’t stop. You push yourself up to face him, trying to study his face. The sudden movement brings him back from wherever he was zoned out to. 

“Hm?” His features jump.

Does he regret it?

“What’s wrong?” Your voice shakes from worry. “You have this look on your face.” 

“Nothing’s wrong. I’m just thinking.” 

“About…?” 

“How bad we are at communicating.” He chuckles. “It’s concerning when you think about how all we ever do is talk.” 

Hearing this makes you snort and you fall into him again. It sends both of you into a short fit of laughter. 

“Oh that’s promising for the success of this relationship.” You giggle, sarcasm evident. 

Hearing relationship makes Spencer inhale sharply. 

“So you’re staying?” 

“Well obviously, Dingbat.” You scoff playfully at the question and shift upright, straddling him. “But we really do need to get better at the communication thing for this to work.”

Spencer mounts his weight on his hands by either side of him and pushes himself up to you, stealing a deep kiss. 

“Yes, we absolutely do.” He whispers, breaking away for only a second. 

The kisses fizzle in you a plethora of smaller kisses. 

“Spencer, I’m– serious.” You voice in between, loosely draping your arms on his shoulders. 

“I am too.” He says in a hushed tone as he pulls away. 

“I want to take it– this,” you motion between the two of you with your finger, “us, slow. Not four years slow, but, like, by a couple of months at the very least.”

“Okay.” He agrees, his eyes scouring your face with complete adoration. It’s not ideal, but he understands where you’re coming from. 

“That means that we start again. Romantically. We have to talk about a lot of things first.” 

He shifts his body out from under you, resting his back properly against the couch and pulls you back into his lap in one swift motion. Both of his hands graze from your shoulder to your wrist.

“How about…you come over this weekend,” He suggests, wrapping his arms around your waist for a hug, “we’ll do snacks, a movie, maybe an actual game of chess.” 

“That sounds like a date.” You wrap your arms around his neck to return the gesture and lean your forehead against his. 

“It’s not a date. Not yet, anyways.” He whispers. “I’m asking you to come over this weekend so we can talk about things properly, because frankly, I don’t think either of us is in the right headspace for it right now.” 

“Should I be offended at that?” You giggle, not entirely sure what he’s alluding to. 

“No!” He snorts with a high tone. “Dopamine aside, our Norepinephrine and Serotonin levels are too high right now for us to have a proper conversation about this.” 

“I’m not saying that you’re wrong, because you’re not, but I also think you’re just using science to try and confuse me, so that I agree to wherever this speech is heading.” 

“It’s times like this where your attentiveness puts me at a disadvantage, because this tactic has a hundred percent success rate on everybody else.” He grins and you chuckle, both leaning in for another kiss. 

“Can we hold off on starting over? Just for tonight.” He reluctantly voices, not wanting to push any boundaries. 

You draw back and raise your eyebrows with your eyes widened. 

“Spence, I have waited for years for this. You’re insane if you think I’m giving that up without relishing in it for at least a night. We’re not starting over until we’re both officially back on the clock.” 

“Okay.” He heaves from relief, leaning in for another kiss, but quickly withdraws with a new question. “Don’t you think the team’s going to be suspicious when we’re not fighting tomorrow?”

“Forget them, what am I gonna say to Hotch when I ask to withdraw my resignation?” You huff out a tiny groan. “He’s gonna hate me for all this paperwork.”

Paperwork reminds you why you’re here to begin with. You audibly gasp, jumping off Spencer and scrambling to put your clothes back on. 

“Fuck! Spencer, get dressed!” 

Spencer doesn’t share your panic, but adheres to your demand. You mutter a continuous line of obscenities as you throw on your clothes and when you don’t seem to be getting calmer, he intervenes. 

“Hey, hey, hey!” He coos as he steps towards you, still undressed on the upper-half. “What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong is that we’ve been here for hours!” You shriek, now fully dressed. 

You push past Spencer and grab his shirt, deciding that he was too slow on his own. He lets you dress him as he probes further. 

“That’s okay. No one’s going to notice this late.” 

“No– Spence–” You sigh, throwing your head back. “In less than four hours, Hotch is going to walk into his office expecting the Anchorage report on his desk. I’ve barely been able to get half of it done in weeks, how am I going to finish it in four hours?”

You shake your head and begin working on his buttons. He grabs your wrists, urging you to look at him. 

“You’ll have it done in less than one. I’ll help you!” His voice is light, airy, soft and accompanied with a chuckle.

“Spencer, you’ve already been here later than you need to be. It’s okay–”

“Let me help you.” He resorts to pleading, releasing your wrists and cupping your face.

You don’t have it in you to argue, his eyes staring back at you with sincerity. He wants to help. There’s no point in pushing him away, because as scared as you are about being too vulnerable with your trauma from that case, you trust him wholeheartedly. You know he won’t push for more than what you choose to share right now.

“Okay.” You nod and smile into the kiss he leans in for after the confirmation. 

“Okay. Now, you go and start some coffee.” he instructs softly with a wide grin, waving to the scattered chess ensemble. “ I’m going to clean up here and join you.”

“I love you!” You lean for another kiss and hushedly exclaim as you break away, receding towards the door. 

It’s Spencer’s turn to lose his breath. He’s affirmed his love for you countless times tonight and this is the first time you’ve verbally reciprocated it. He knows that it won’t be the last time either. That, to him, makes him the luckiest man in the world. He stops you from going any further by your arm and gently yanks you in his direction, crashing his lips with yours. 

“I love you too.” He whispers after the kiss, letting you go. 

Heat rises in your face again and you struggle to hide a huge dopey smile, one that Spencer has too. You’re floating on cloud nine, finally out of the blurry hurricane you’ve endured for months. There’s still a lot of things that you need to work out, but the thought of them doesn’t make you feel dread like it once did. 

"One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is Love." - Socrates

Spoilers: Yapperoni (so much dialog in this chapter), BAU! Reader, enemies (kinda) to lovers, hurt, comfort, love confessions (they might be a little too sappy, idk, I was sleep deprived), the praise made me giddy at some point, smut but I edge you by not writing out everything, happy ending.

AN - I have a little tiny fear that people (me) will nawt (I don’t) fuck with this monstrosity, but out of all my drafts, this felt like the most natural course of action. I thought it would be really fun to go from friends to enemies to lovers. Now, literally nobody talk to me about writing fics after this. Uni’s started, so I’ll be very inconsistent for a bit. Casual reminder: I am not Spencer Reid. I don’t have an IQ of 187. Any facts I make him spew could very well be bull-shit and he only spews them for the purpose of the story. I also have no knowledge of how the FBI works and lack a ton of common sense. A lot of things were made up for the purpose of this story.

A comment today keeps semicolon away (from showing up to your house and eating all your snacks).

Thank you for reading!

[voltronisanobsession]

Stuck in a Loop | Teen Wolf x Reader

A little story I had while listening to Emily Jeffri teehee😁 a little less focused on romance but whateva👼

If the end feels a little rushed, shhhh ignore it

A soft bump on the road awoke you, causing you to slowly open your eyes. Clearing your throat, you lean away from the window of the car and reach for the nearly empty water bottle next to you, drinking the last of it, yet still wanting more.

“Do you have any more water?” You ask, voice still scratchy from your nap. Stiles looks away from the road for a second and seems to think before answering.

“Uh yeah I think. Check in the pocket behind the seat.”

You twist your body as much as you could to reach the back of your seat, barely reaching it before you feel the familiar shape of a bottle. Cracking it open, you take two full gulps before pulling it away, asking if Stiles wanted any and covering it back up when he declined.

You look up just in time to see you guys passed a speed limit sign, the bold 40 MPH making it hard to miss.

“Why does Scott want us to meet him again? I feel like it’s too late to be calling us for help.” You yawned.

“I don’t know, he didn’t really say anything, just told me where to go.” Stiles shrugged while rubbing his eyes with one hand and steering with his other. You grabbed his hand before he could place it back on the wheel, wanting to just hold his hand.

The boy looked at you once again with a smile, slightly squeezing your hand which made you smile in turn. You both were so caught up with each other that none of you saw the deer that suddenly appear on the road until it was too late.

A quick glance in front you had you shouting in fear.

“DEER! STILES DEER!”

It all happened so quickly. Stiles swerved to the left trying to avoid the deer yet served back to the right too quickly. The car was off the road for a second, touching the natural ground for a moment before the tire started giving out. Had they popped the tire?

Stiles tried his best to steer the car back but it was done. The front right tire caused the entire car to lean towards the right, flipping the car over and down the hill it once drove on.

Neither of you could yell or scream by the amount of flips the car made going down the hill. You hit your head against the window of the door, your head pounding against it the entire way down.

After what felt like an eternity, the jeep finally made one more flip before landing on its side at the bottom. The silence was deafening after everything was done

Glass was scattered everywhere. You were littered with cuts all over your body. Opening your eyes with as much strength as you could muster, you tired your head to look at Stiles.

He sat there motionless and full of cuts and blood, arms hanging limp by his sides. As much as you tried, you couldn’t move your hand to hold his, tears slowly falling down your bloodied cheek. Somewhere inside you knew he was no longer with you

You felt yourself slowly fading into darkness. Your eyes struggled to stay open, your body struggled to not lose consciousness.

Yet you let it all go.

You closed your eyes and let death take away into the night, just like it did with Stiles.

═══

You slowly opened your eyes as a small bump in the road awoke you. Twisting your necklace, you stretched before glancing around in confusion.

You grabbed the nearly empty water bottle that sat next to you, staring at it with confusion as you held it in your hand.

“You good?” Stiles’ voice snapped you out of your trance, confusion and worry etched upon his face as he glanced at you

“Uh yeah, yeah. I just had a really weird dream. That’s it.” You say as you place down the bottle back in the cup holder.

You reach for the back of the seat, twisting your body enough for you to feel the shape of a bottle in the pocket hidden in the dark. Hm.

“I forgot that was there! I thought we were out.” Stiles said while gesturing to the bottle between you, still focused on the road yet continuously glancing at your silent frame.

“What?” You whisper in confusion, eyeing the yellow speed limit sign as you passed it. 40 MPH.

“You wanna, I don’t know, talk about your dream? You look like you've seen a ghost.” The boy said, a hint of humor in his voice. You glanced at him with a grimace. He immediately saw your apprehension and turned serious.

“I had a dream where everything that’s happening now, happened. Don’t look at me stiles, keep an eye on the road. After we passed the speed limit sign though, we were busy looking at each other to see a deer on the road.” Just as you said that, you saw a figure in the distance, the moonlight barely outlining it in the dark.

“There! Be careful!” Stiles had enough time to move to the left lane and carefully maneuvered the car back to the right lane. You look in the rear view mirror in shock as you stared at the deer, shrinking in the distance.

“How did you know it was there?” Stiles eyebrows furrowed. Your hand traveled to the necklace sitting on your neck, twisting it with anxiousness.

This had to be a dream, right? There was no way everything was repeating itself.

“What’s going on?” Whispering to yourself, you didn’t even see the car speeding towards you guys. And just like that, again, everything happened too quickly.

===

"STILES!" You gasp loudly, scaring the life out of the boy driving next to you.

"WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?!" The brunette hit his brakes a little too hard causing you both to slam forward as the car makes a halting stop.

You take deep breathes as you take in your surroundings, hands fiddling with your necklace in anxiousness. You're still in the car, next to your boyfriend, alive. You were alive. He was alive.

You reach to grab the water bottle from the back of the seat, staring at it in horror. Something was not right.

"Y/N! What's going on? You can't just go screaming my name while I'm driving!" Stiles turns to you, trying to make sense why you look close to crying.

His heart clenches at the sight of tears trailing down your face.

"I-I don't know! I don't know what's going on! We keep dying and restarting this entire situation over again but something is always happening! First it w-was the deer and hill, then it was the random car! Stiles I don't know what to do!" You could only sob into your hands as Stiles tries his best to comfort you.

"What do you mean we keep dying? Hey, hey, calm down. You're ok, I'm right here." Stiles rubs your back as he twists his body to hug you over the car console. It's a bit awkward for him and you can't help the watery laugh you let out as he continues to hug you.

"Um yeah. I know it's not a dream because I r-remember everything. Every time we've had an accident, I wake up in the same spot and everything. It starts all over again everytime." You rub your eyes in exhaustion. Is this a supernatural problem you're facing right now? After everything you've been through, the signs are pointing to yes.

"Ok so like a time loop? If you're the only one who remembers what's happened before, then it's probably gonna keep happening until you break it." The boy says thoughtfully out loud. He seems to think for a moment and you can't help but feel thankful for him.

He didn't question what you were saying and fully believed you. Even though he doesn't remember the previous events, he was making an effort to help you. Stiles looks back to you and gives you a reassuring smile. You return it with a small smile of your own.

"If we're actually stuck in a time loop than we gotta figure what's trapping us in it. I'm guessing the same things are gonna happen no matter what until one of us figures out how to get out. Man this is so cool, I only read about these kinds of things in books!" You give him a dark glare as he says that last part. Everything about this has not been cool whatsoever.

"I genuinely don't know. Everything has been the same until we drive past the speed sign. After that, the deer came in, and then the random car." Stiles hums as you say this. Then he claps.

"Ok that's something! You said it happens after we pass the sign right? What if we just don't pass it?" You give him a look of confusion as he changes gears and starts driving in reverse.

"Ohh that's smart! It could be the sign that's keeping the loop going!" You give his arm a pat as you smile.

"That's what I was thinking! We'll just head to the gas station like this and see if that changes anything." You both sit in silence as he continues reversing. 10 minutes pass before either of you talks.

In this time, you should have reached the station but it's as if it was a never ending road. Stiles seems to notice this as well and huffs in annoyance. Putting his car in park, he sighs and looks ahead into the night.

"I don't think we've moved from the spot we're in. We're definitely in a loop." Stiles groans after wasting 10 minutes of driving backwards. You shift uncomfortably in your seat, once again grabbing onto your necklace for emotional support.

"I think we only have one choice. We go forwards since we can't go backwards. Just... Just try to be alert and be ready to drive like a mad man. I don't want to lose you again." Stiles glances at you before taking your hand and kissing it.

"I promise we'll get out of this. You're not losing me again." He said it was such conviction that you finally felt a sliver of hope blossom in you. You nodded and kissed his hand.

"Ok, let's get it." Feeling pumped up, Stiles shifted gears and began driving forwards. You saw the sign in the dark distance, chills running down your spine as you read 40 MPH.

"Get ready. A deer's gonna be on the road, so drive to the left when you see it." As you finished, the deer came into view, it's head turning towards you as it watched the car grow closer. Stiles carefully maneuvered around it and settled back into the road.

"Ok now a car is gonna be speeding towards us! I think it's a drunk driver? Please be careful." You say as you shake in fear. This is what got you both last time.

"Got it." He murmured, gripping the wheel as he noticed a shadowy figure growing closer. From the way it was driving erratically, he kept his senses on alert. Soon the car was near them. Stiles swiftly moved to avoid the car that was driving straight towards them. You let out a yelp as the car bumped into the side of his jeep, but nothing else happened.

"Oh thank god! Keep driving, we never got pass that car. I don't know what happens now." Your boyfriend nods and continues driving. It wasn't long until something else happened. This was much more terrifying for you though.

Suddenly loud noises from all over sounded throughout the night. From howling to growls, the noise was deafening to say the least. You let out a scream as something hit your side of the car. Not only were the animalistic sounds carving its way into your brains, now the entire car was getting assaulted from all angles.

"What the hell is happening?! What's hitting us?!" Stiles yelled out, flinching as something hit his window.

"I don't know but I have a feeling we need to figure out how to break the loop now or something bad's gonna happen!" You yelled back, covering your ears and letting out a scream of terror as a black figure rammed its body into your window.

"You have to figure out what's keeping us in the loop Y/N! Think! Was something different when you woke up last time?! Or was it all the same?! There has to be something!" Stiles swerved to avoid hitting a shadowy figure on the road. Whatever was attacking you didn't plan on letting either of you go.

You sat thinking quickly as the hits on the car grew more aggressive. The first time you woke up, you drank your water and then saw the sign. The the deer showed up and that ended! Then you entered the loop! You drank your water, passed the sign, then warned Stiles about the deer. You survived that but then a car came into the picture!

And now in this loop!

"SHIT!" A hit on your side caused the car to skid to the left side of the road which caused him to lose control of the car for a second.

"NOW WOULD BE A GOOD TIME TO SAVE US!" You shut your eyes and tried to focus on your thoughts.

You woke up, the water bottle was the same, you passed the yellow sign and passed the deer. Then you passed the car! So whatever caused this loop had to have been something from the very start! After the deer situation, nothing could have caused the loop. What was different about the beginning?!

You pulled on your necklace and froze. Your necklace. Your necklace? You realized you never had a necklace to begin with. This wasn't even yours!

You furrowed your eyebrows as you yanked the necklace from your neck. It hurt a bit but you didn't care.

"What are you doing?! You just broke the chain!" Stiles looked at you with wide eyes as the animal sounds suddenly grew louder than before. You lifted the object and looked it. It was made from a black metal with a red stone in the center.

"When have you ever seen me wear this?! It's not mine!" Quickly, you rolled down the window and threw the damned thing out and rolled it back up. As you threw it out, an energy force boomed from the car and you watched with fascination as the energy wave flowed through the air. The sheer force of it had you sitting flush against the seat and forced Stiles to stop the car as well.

The banging, the screaming and howling had abruptly stopped. It was quiet, save from the huffs coming from the two of you. You felt your body go lax against the car seat as you closed your eyes.

Finally, it was over.

You both sat in silence for a few minutes, too scared to move in fear something else will pop out in the dead of night. After a moment, Stiles spoke.

"You did it. I thought we were gonna die." His body sagged against the steering wheel, head turned towards you, sweat falling from his hair.

"Me too." You sighed as you dragged your hands down your face. You were never going to drive this late at night ever again.

"I'm proud of you Y/N. You got yourself out of the loop." He let out a laugh and sat against his seat again.

"Well I literally couldn't have done it without you. I'd probably be on my, like, 6th loop if it weren't for you." You smiled and looked into the night. The moon's light touched your hand. It gave you an ethereal glow. How long has it been watching you for?

"I'm going to kill Scott. It was his fault for making us come out this late." Stiles dove for his phone and called Scott. After three rings, the werewolf finally answered.

"Hello?" A groggy voice called into the phone, obviously heavy with sleep. You furrowed your eyebrows.

"What is WRONG with you?! We almost died trying to get to you man!" Stiles yelled into the speaker, causing Scott to wince at the sound.

"What are you talking about? Where are you guys?" Scott suddenly seemed more awake, his voice scratchy from being woken up.

"You sent me a text saying to meet you and to take Y/N with me. Stop trying to act all innocent." You sat in silence as the pieces started clicking together.

"I never sent you anything. I've been asleep the entire time dude." Stiles made a face before searching through his for the message.

"Ok don't play with me. You literally sent me-" He paused midsentence when he pulled up his messages with Scott, only to see the most recent message was sent more than 5 hours ago.

"What the hell? I had a message right here telling us to go to this sketchy place. Where'd it go?" Stiles muttered in confusion.

"I think this thing, whatever it was, was trying to lure us away from the others. We fell right into it's trap." You stated. "Real question is why us two, and why target me specifically?"

All three of you sat in silence before Scott spoke up.

"Come to my house guys. This might be a new monster and I wanna hear what happened with you two. Now I'm actually saying this, not some copy version of me." You both agreed and hung up the phone.

"Wanna go back through there or take the long way?"

You let out a short laugh. "After all that, I'm never driving through here again. Long way all the way."

"I agree. Long way it is."

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Very first time; Jack Kline x reader smut

*Author’s note*

Okay well this has been sitting in my inbox collecting dust for awhile but after a few weeks of work and planning (and some major procrastinating) I FINALLY came around and got to this request so @gabrielasilva1510​ this is for you and thank you for being soo patient with me.

Now this is a SMUT fic so there is some sexual content in here so any minors that follow me LOOK AWAY!!!! DO. NOT READ THIS STORY!!! it’s not hardcore smut but still a smut story nevertheless.

Warnings: sexual content, fluff, camping fun, P in V sex (wrap it before you tap it kids), references to other fandoms and movies. 

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@queen-paladin​

@queensdivas​

@gay-and-ready-to-cry​

__________________________________________________________

I was putting the sleeping bags as well as the tent set into the jeep while Jack was coming in bringing the cooler with the drinks.

“You sure the drinks won’t get warm on the way up there?” he asked me.

“Babe that’s why we’re getting ice at the gas station. Besides this jeep needs gas too while we’re at it because somebody forgot to fill the tank!” I proclaimed while turning to Sam.

“Okay how long are you gonna hang this over my head?”

“As long as it takes. You know how many times Dean and I have told you about that? Whoever gets the gas tank under a 100 miles, fills the tank.”

“See even she can remember the rules.” Said Dean coming in eating a ham, turkey, pastrami and bacon sandwich he had made. Sam rolled his eyes and I said after closing the back door.

“Okay I think that’s everything.”

“So we can leave now?” asked Jack excitedly. I nodded.

“I still don’t feel comfortable with you two going on this camping trip by yourselves.” Dean said.

“Dean, just because many of our early cases took place during a camping trip doesn’t mean it’ll happen to us. Unlike those guys, we know the warning signs for Wendigo’s, werewolves, vamps and even faeries.” Dean glowered at me at mentioning the fairy thing to him.

“Did you at least pack the basic protection?” Sam asked.

“And not just against monsters.” Dean added. My face went red and Jack started to say.

“You mean protection as in con—”

“Do you really need to say that Dean? We’re not gonna do anything like that!”

“Can’t go wrong. Plus I don’t want you coming back and making us uncles just yet.”

“Jesus you are such a pervert.” I groaned.

“But seriously (Y/n), you do have some form of protection? In both matters.” Sam asked me.

“Yes Sam and please don’t agree with Dean about the latter suggestion.” He raised his hands in surrender. “Okay Jack get in the car, we’re outta here.” He did as I told him and I got into the driver seat and started the engine.  “See you bitches in a week. And do me a favor, don’t blow this place up while we’re gone or have another end of the world crisis on our hands.”

“We’re Winchesters, we make no such promises.” Dean said as he munched on his sandwich once again.

“Have a good time you two, be safe.” Sam told us.

“Yes Ranger Sam.” I teased before putting the jeep into drive and soon Jack and I left the bunker garage and drove down the road to the nearest gas station to get ice as well as fill up the car.

After doing all that and filling the cooler with ice for the drinks, I got back into the jeep and started up the engine.

“Okay Jack, since we’ve got full control over the radio, what genre of music shall it be today?”

“I did enjoy that 80’s playlist you made. Especially after you showed me that show Odd Things.”

“You mean Stranger things babe. Alright 80’s it is.” I went through my phone and opened up my music playlist and scrolled through until I found my 1980s Greatest songs playlist.  Sure Dean may say that everything after 1979 sucks, but he clearly hadn’t heard some of these artists like Kate Bush, Prince, Queen’s later music in the 80’s, Whitney Houston, A-Ha, and of course my man Phil Collins.

I first played the song ‘In the Air tonight’ to get us started on the open road.  Jack particularly began to realize why I loved Phil Collins so much.  Yeah he was cool in his Genesis days but when he branched out into his solo career, the dude truly shined.

After an almost 2 hour drive and almost reaching the end of our playlist with Cyndi Lauper we arrived at the camp grounds.  I parked the car and both Jack and I got out of the car and stretched ourselves out before entering the check-in lodge before we had to drive to our reserved camping spot.

“Good afternoon, how can I help you?” the woman behind the desk said.

“Hi we’re checking into lot A113, reservation is under Winchester.” She typed up my reservation on the laptop and said.

“(Y/n) Winchester?”

“That’s me.”

“Great, and you’re staying with us for a week. Here’s a map of all the areas you can hike, or visit the various lounges or restaurants we’ve got here. And for staying here a week with us that’ll be $210.25 will that be cash or credit?”

“Credit, please.” I said getting out my card and handing it to her.  A quick swipe and the payment was done.

“Okay you are all set. Hope you and your boyfriend have a good time.”

“Oh we will, especially after the few months we had. We deserve this.” I said putting my card away and gathering up the stuff she had handed me.  I saw Jack admiring some of the portrait paintings along the wall and took his hand. “C’mon babe, let’s get to our spot and set up camp.” He nodded and I guided him out the lodge and we went back into the car.

I turned the engine on and drove off towards our camping spot.  Good thing about this camp ground is that while we are out in the woods, there was still access to bathrooms, showers, and of course food joints and restaurants. Plus everyone has their own private little spot to make their camp so no one has to be cramped in a giant forest space.

Jack and I looked around until he spotted the signs that lead us to our section and as we drove down the trail I softly let out a yes as I fist bumped.

“Thank god the showers aren’t that far away.”

“That’s a good thing right?”

“I mean I don’t mind the walk but still, it’s better for night time shower people like me. I mean seriously I don’t get why people shower in the mornings, you’re just gonna get sticky and gross at the end of the day and I don’t wanna sleep like that.”

“That is strange. Glad you told me about it when I was first trying to understand the ways of humans.”

“There are certain things my brothers can teach you but everything else, just ask me. I got your back.”

“Just as I got yours.” He said as he placed his hand on top of mine.  I smiled and gave it a loving squeeze as he pointed out.  “Is that us?”

“Uhh yeah this is us.” I turned along the gravel road and pulled into our little hill mound parking spot and turned the engine off.  “We’re here at last. No more driving for the rest of the day please.”

“You know I could’ve drove us from the check-in lodge. Dean says I’ve been improving with Baby.”

“I know you have sweetie but driving Baby and driving this jeep are two totally different things. Plus you haven’t gotten enough experiences on dirt road like these. All the bumps, twists and turns and I’m not that good of a driving teacher. As I’m sure my brother told you, I was a wreck when learning to drive Baby. Can’t do a stick to save my ass.”

“It’s not that hard once you get used to it. Maybe I could teach you.”

“As sweet as that is, one Dean would never let you do that and two I don’t want to ever drive Baby again.” I pecked his cheek and continued, “C’mon, let’s unload the car.” We unbuckled ourselves and got out of the jeep as I opened the back door and first grabbed the cooler while Jack grabbed the tent.

After unloading the car and unfolding the tent from the bag, Jack got the bag that was filled with the tacks and poles that we needed to keep the tent in place and standing up.

“Okay so—I’ve never really put a tent up before but I have seen people do it in tv and movies. Is it really as hard as they show it?” asked Jack.

“Depends on the tent, luckily for us this tent it’s fairly easy to put up. Mind helping me spread out the tent first before we get the poles and tacks down?” he nodded and came over and went on the other side of the tent.  Together we grabbed each end of the tent and pulled it as far apart as we could.  “Okay now grab that bag with the poles and tacks.” He looked around until he saw just a few feet to his left was the bag.

He tossed it over to me and I opened it up and pulled out the poles first.

“Now what I want you to do is connect this set first and I can do the other set. Once they’re connected, I’ll show you how to put them through the tent.” He grabbed the first set of poles and began to connect them together while I did the second row.

“Like this?” he showed me after he had gotten one set together already.

“That’s it. Make sure they’re in as tight as you can get them. Can’t risk the tent caving in on itself.” I said as I twisted my set in before they finally connected with each other.

It took a few minutes but we finally got our poles connected and then I showed him where the poles would go through the tent. We did his connected set first and I guided it through the right side of the tent, going towards the top and then coming down the other side before sticking it down into the earth.  We did the same for the other side (that’s where the major work comes in cause you have to guide it over the previous pole set).

“You sure you weren’t lying when you’d say it’d be easy?” Jack said with a grunt as he tried to maneuver my pole set over his at the top each time I pulled the second pole down.

“This is always the tricky part no matter what. But trust me Jack, I’ve seen tents so complex to build up I’m surprised they’re not banned from camping gears. Don’t worry we got this, just a little more……” finally I managed to get the starting point out the end of the tent and stick it into the earth as well.  “There we go. Now for the tacks to make sure they stay down.”

I jogged back over to where I had the bag and pulled out the tacks as well as the mini-mallet that came with it.  After setting each tack down, I told Jack to get the rain roof to go on top of the tent just in case it rained (there was a chance in the next couple of days but it’s better to get it out now rather than later).

He went back to the tent back and pulled the tarp-like roof from the bag and together we worked to maneuver around the tent to place the rain-proof roof on top of the tent.  Once it was one, we stepped back and we wrapped an arm around each other and I said.

“We did it babe. Our home for the next week.”

“I can’t wait to sleep in it. I’ve always wondered what it’d be like sleeping in a tent after you showed me that camping episode from your favorite childhood show.”

“Well let’s get the sleeping bags and all the other stuff inside and you can see for yourself.” We walked over and grabbed the sleeping bags, pillows, blankets, and our backpacks.  I unzipped the circular door and once the flaps came down I bowed and said.  “Right this way good sir.”

“Thank you.” He said with a bow of his head before getting in with me following suit.

Some would call it overboard since this tent is said to fit five people but I wanted Jack to have the full experience of being in a tent.  And just seeing his face in full awe as he looked around.

“It’s almost like being in a cave. And not like those Wendigo ones either.” I nodded.

“It’s got where it counts. But if it’s too much I can send this back and just get a two person one.”

“No please don’t. I love it. Very spacious, plenty of space for all our stuff. But can also be intimate for snuggling together.” Jack said as he came up close to me, wrapping his arms around me.  I smiled as he buried his face into my neck.

“Okay sweetie, let’s find a spot in this cave of ours to put our sleeping bags at.” We crawled through the tent and decided that our bags could be spread out in the middle of the tent.  Our backpacks could go right up at the wall where our heads would be.  We set the backpacks down before unrolling our sleeping bags and placing down our pillows and blankets.

“So what shall we do first?” Jack asked me with a smile as he padded his pillow.

“Well there’s a few things I’d like to get at the lodge like firewood and see if there’s any icebags they sell. I know our cooler is basically a thermos but you can’t be too careful especially with as long as we’re staying.”

“Okay so firewood and ice. Then what do you want to do?”

“This camping trip isn’t just about me sweetie. This is your first camping trip, what do you want to do?” I took his hand and gave it a comforting squeeze.

“Can we go hiking?”

“Then hiking it is. Maybe we’ll even see some wild animals while we’re out and about.” He smiled and I could almost see my sweet baby boy bouncing on his knees.  “Now let me see, the lodge from our campsite is about how far?” I said as I took out the map from my pocket.  “Okay so we’re here,” I said pointing to our spot, “And the lodge is….” I trailed my finger upward until I saw the main lodge. “Oh sweet we don’t even have to walk very far. It’s just out of this reserved area and up a forest hill track and boom we’re there.”

“You seemed to have gotten us a lucky spot. You sure you didn’t check ahead of time?” Jack teased.

“Babe I swear, this was the only camping spot available at the time I was making the reservation.” Jack looked at me with a playful skeptical look but let it go.  “Okay go ahead doubt me, but they don’t call me (Y/n) ‘Lucky-shot’ Winchester for nothing.”

“Who calls you that?”

“Me. I do. And Charlie, and Jody, and the rest of the girls of the Wayward sisters. Dean calls it dumb luck but I have saved his ass more times than I can count. Plus some of my luck must’ve bounced off of them, with as many times as my brothers get knocked out. I’m surprised they still remember their own names.”

“They do get knocked out quite a bit.” Jack agreed.

“Right!?”

Once we got our backpacks packed with just enough stuff for the hike, Jack had decided to come up with me to get the firewood as well as see if there was an ice-dispenser up at the lodge.  After finding and purchasing a couple bags of firewood, we headed back to our campsite and Jack placed the two bags of firewood near the car while I opened up my bag and we began to place the wood into the firepit.

“When it gets dark, we can start the fire. They’ll be fine sitting in the firepit for a while. So shall we begin your first ever hike?”

“I hope I packed everything right. I triple-quadruple checked just like you told me.”

“Good boy. Oh before I forget, here.” I reached into my pack and pulled out a bag that contained some whistles and got two of them out.  “Put this around your neck.” I handed him the yellow whistle while I took the blue one.

“What do we need whistles for?”

“Well we can’t risk you using your powers in front of other people and freaking them out. So in the event if one of us gets lost, stay where you are, hug a tree and blow your whistle.”

“Okay I understand.” I patted his shoulder as he hung his whistle around his neck.  “Can we go now?” he said bouncing on his feet.

“Yes sweetie we can. Follow me first time camper.” I walked ahead with Jack walking close behind me and we proceeded towards the hiking trail.

Throughout our hike we would stop to take pictures of some beautiful landscapes, tightrope across logs, and even got to see a few animals. Like this one point in the hike we came across a cute rabbit.  Normally when a rabbit sees you, it wants to run but this rabbit as soon as it saw Jack, it got curious.

It hopped over to him and allowed Jack to reach out with his hand and gave him a sniff.  It even allowed Jack to stroke it’s back before taking off back into the woods.  Of course using my phone with it on silence, I snapped some good pictures of the encounter and promised to have those developed when we got home.

We even met up with some other hikers and found a special lodge where we could observe the local bears from a safe distance using binoculars.  And along the walls of the lodge were paintings as well as facts about bears that the kids could read.  And bless his heart, he shared with me all the facts he never knew about bears (even though I knew about most of them but I didn’t have the heart to stop him. He’s like a puppy).

For the rest of the day we hiked, had lunch, took photos and even talked with some other hikers until it started to get dark so Jack and I decided to head back to our camp for some supper as well as introduce him to the King of all camp snacks, S’mores.

We got back to camp and I started the fire while Jack got out the hotdogs, ramen, and smores stuff.  We ate our supper and just as it was starting to get darker, I thought it was now time for Jack to try his very first smore.

“Okay Jack, the perfect way to make a smore is this.” I said gathering the smore supplies.  “First you take the graham, and then you break apart a piece of chocolate. Then you stick the chocolate on the graham.” I said demonstrating the process, “then you roast the ‘mallow.” I said sticking my poker with the marshmallow into the firepit until it was burnt to a crisp. “Once it’s nice and crispy, you stick the mallow onto of the chocolate, then you take the other graham and smoosh it together. And last and certainly my favorite part.” I took a big bite before telling him with my cheeks stuffed with melted marshmallow, chocolate and graham crackers, “You stuff yourself!”

“I’ve always wanted to ask, why are they called that? Smores?”

“Because you always want some more.” He laughed at the corny joke.  “babe I swear, you’ll find out that it ain’t just a joke. Go on.” I handed him his poker as well as the marshmallow bag.

He did as I told him in the exact order it needed to be done but just before he took that first bite I told him to wait as I got my phone out and went to my camera and switched it to video.

“Trust me, I’m gonna wanna keep this. Okay take a bite now.” I said as I pressed the record button.  He lifted the smore to his mouth and took that first bite. Already his marshmallow oozing down his fingers as he tried to take in as much as he could without over stuffing his mouth.

I watched as his eyes widened and he let out a loud moan as he threw his head back.

“Didn’t I tell you? Makes you want to stuff like 10 of them after you eat your first smore.”

“This is…..” he chewed it up more before finally swallowing it and he continued, “This is the most delicious thing I’ve ever had in my entire life.”

“Even better than nougat?” I asked exasperatedly.

“You know nothing will ever take the place of nougat in my heart.”

“Damn and I thought I could convert you.” I said stopping the recording.

“Sorry sweetheart. I wonder what a smore would taste like with nougat.”

“You keep that blasphemous excuse of chocolate away from the sacred smores! They are made with Hershey’s milk chocolate bars and they shall stay that way!” I said defending my precious smores honor.

“I still don’t see why you hate nougat so much?”

“I told you it’s a disgusting, excuse of a chocolate bar! They make it look like a chocolate bar but they got in stuff that shouldn’t go together BLECH!!” Jack rolled his eyes.

“One day I’ll convert you to appreciate my lovely nougats.”

“The day that happens is the day that Rowena allows Hell for freeze over.” We continued to snack on the smores until we were stuffed and we decided that now would be a good time to shut ourselves in the tent for the night.

We safely disposed of the trash and put the food in the spare cooler and I locked it up tight so that no bears would come by. Jack doused the fire and I turned on the lantern as we entered inside the tent.  I hung the lantern on the little hook just above our heads and we got our sleeping bags ready for the night.

“Hey (Y/n).”

“Yes Jack?” I asked as I was spreading out my two fleece blankets over my sleeping bag.

“Guess what this is.” I turned towards him and saw him making shadow puppets using the lantern above us.  It was a long serpent like creature but it wasn’t a snake.

“A Chinese water dragon?”

“Right! Now you do one.”

“Okay but be warned I’m nowhere as good as you.” I clasped my hands together and raised up my right index and tall finger and bent them a bit for the antlers.  With the rest of my fingers I molded the face and nose and asked him, “Any guesses?”

“Those things on top are they—horns?”

“Close.”

“Oh no wait they’re antlers. Is it a deer?”

“Sure is.”

“Okay, okay my turn again. Umm…..Oh I got it! You won’t be able to get this.” I saw the silhouette of what almost looked like a musk ox but I knew it wasn’t.

For one it was even bulkier than the ones I’ve seen online, and the horns on it were way too long and swirled inward too much. I knew there was no way this was a ram due to its large size.  Until it finally hit me.

“Oh I know exactly what this is!”

“Do you?”

“Of course I do. What you don’t think I know a Tusken raider’s mighty steed the Bantha?”

“You’re good.” I shrugged cockily.

“Gave you your Star Wars knowledge, remember you must my young padawan.” I said in my best worst Yoda impression.  He laughed as he brought me in close to him, our hands intertwining with each other’s while his free arm stroked patterns on my lower back and my free hand rested on his knee.

We looked into each other’s eyes and I could feel my heart racing faster the longer I looked into his innocent yet striking blueish-green eyes.  He raised our intertwined hands up and placed my palm against his cheek before covering it with his own.

“(Y/n) I—I love you.”

“I love you too Jack.”

“No I mean. I like, really, really love you. So much so that I think I…..” I noticed how his adam’s apple slightly bounced as he swallowed anxiously and his jaw went tense as he turned away from me. In fact I could just see the poor boy tensing up.

“Jack, Jack look at me.” He hesitated but he turned his head back to face me.  I moved my hand to his jawline and stroked it gingerly.  “You know you can tell me anything right?” he nodded.

“I just……don’t want to scare you away.”

“Why would I be scared? Jack remember what we promised each other when we first started dating?”

“No keeping secrets like my brothers.” Jack repeated.

“Exactly. So c’mon out with it babe. What’s on your mind?”

“I…..” he sighed deeply but took another deep breath before saying. “As I said before, I really, really love you. And I know we talked about how far we want this relationship to go and you told me how when the time is right, we could—take things to the next step and……I want to do that.”

Oh……wow that’s—that is definitely something that should not be kept inside.  I mean we have been dating for the past 3 years now after 6 years of knowing each other. And yeah he’s not the only pure-white virgin of the team (I still got the dragon scar to prove that).

“Wow. Okay that—”

“I probably made things awkward now, didn’t I?” he groaned as he scooted away from me pacing around the tent.  “I’m such an idiot! Why did I have to open my big mouth and say that?! I—” I stopped him by grabbing his biceps and interrupted his ranting.

“Hey! Hey Jack! Jack!” he stopped to look at me. “To say I’m surprised that that is what you had buzzing around your brain for is a lot to take in. But I’m glad you told me. And I think we should sit down and talk so you hear what I have to say now.” He nodded nervously as we came back to our sleeping bags, the two of us sitting across from one another.

I took his hands and gave them a soft squeeze before starting.

“Jack. These past several years of knowing you have been—the best in my life. I have never felt this type of love towards any other guy. Now you know that I’m a virgin too right?”

“Yes that was the first thing you told me because you were worried I’d break up with you because you didn’t have experience.” My face flushed as I cleared my throat.

“Yeah because most guys prefer experiences and one night stands rather than taking care of their girl afterwards. But anyways the point is, with you—I felt like I was getting the perfect guy. Cute, brave, loyal, kind, funny, protective but not possessive, well-mannered. Some days I couldn’t believe just shortly after we began dating that you were real.”

“I care about you (Y/n).”

“And I care about you Jack. Which is why I think—no I know that I’m ready too.” His eyes slowly went wide.

“You—you are?”

“Yeah. Going on this camping trip without my brothers constant helicoptering or even Cas suddenly popping up before us, the fun we both had together and showing you what it meant to go on a camping trip I—I feel like I’m ready to take the next step, so long as you were.”

“Because consent goes both ways.” Jack said.

“Exactly. But there is one thing I am concerned about.” He tilted his head like a puppy before asking me.

“What?”

“Well we’re in a public campground. And yes although we have our private section we’re not entirely alone. Plus the rangers do their nightly patrol to make sure no troublemakers are out and about. And from what I remembering hearing all those girls with Dean. Don’t ask! I uhh—”

“I can take care of that.” This time I tilted my head and looked at him questioningly.  Of course I knew nephilims are powerful beings but what can we do that’ll not get us kicked out or worse scarring an innocent child?

His eyes glowed their sunshine gold for a few seconds before they phased back to his normal eye color.

“No one should bother us now. Whatever we do in this tent won’t be heard on the outside.”

“You made this tent sound-proof?”

“Yeah. Watch.” He then let out his angelic-like scream which sounded like a boat horn times 20.  I covered my ears until he stopped and he gestured for me to look outside the tent.  I went over to the door, unzipped it and peeked out and saw that no one had woken up, or started asking just what that unholy scream was.  I zipped the door backup and said.

“Wow. You never cease to amaze me.” He cutely shrugged as I sat back down in front of him wrapping my arms around his neck. “So….shall we get busy?” I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“I would—like that. What do we uhh do first?”

“Well typically it’s best to get warmed up first before we get to the final stretch.”

“Warmed up? What you mean like exercise?” I giggled as I shook my head.

“No babe. I mean like making out. Touching each other, that kinda stuff.”

“So like what we normally do when your brothers aren’t around?”

“Bingo.”

“I already know some of the things you like, will that help?”

“Yeah. So—you ready Jack?” he nodded as I slowly leaned in and captured his lips with mine.

I felt his hands come up to cup my jawline as our kissed slowly deepened.  Our tongues coming together for a slow, passionate dance as I felt myself slowly being lowered down onto our sleeping bags and blankets.  After the need for air became too much, we separated from each other but our noses softly grazed against the other’s as our breaths danced across the other’s face.

“Can I take your shirt off?” he asked me.

“So long as I get to take yours off.” He nodded and I was the first to remove his shirt before he lifted mine off.  As soon as my bare upperbody (minus the bra I had on) was exposed to him, Jack almost seemed entranced.  He stroked through all the scars I’ve gotten over the years from various cases and points in my life.

“Did they hurt?” he said stroking the dragon scar I got when I was 14 years old.

“That one did for a while, others it just depended on how deep or dangerous the creature was.”

“It’s like a painting. Like connect the dots but with scars.” He said as he slowly traced over each scar then began connecting them into various shapes and patterns.  “Like the constellations in the night sky.” I felt tears in my eyes and even felt one slid down my face.  Before I could catch it, Jack’s thumb gingerly wiped it away as he hovered over me.

He once again captured my lips as his hands slowly trailed down to my chest just short of my bra.  I separated from his lips and whispered to him.

“Put your hands on me Jack.” He kissed my lips again as his hands were now on top of my boobs.  Gently and affectionately groping them through the bra which sent shivers down my spine.  I let out a soft moan as his lips moved from my mouth to the side of my neck.

I closed my eyes as I wrapped my arms around his frame and felt his lips kiss, nip and lick at my neck.  I gasped as he got a favorite weak spot of mine. Arching my back I reached behind and unhooked my bra exposing my bare breasts to the cool air but they were soon encompassed by Jack’s hands.

“They’re soft.” I heard him whisper in my neck.

“Would you like to kiss them Jack?”

“Is that what you want?” I nodded.  He kissed my shoulder before moving across my collar bone.  Slowly with each kiss he went lower and lower until he came to my right breast and began kissing it.

My eyes rolled in the back of my head as I stretched my arms out and gripped my pillow so tightly I could feel my nails through the sheets.  Jesus no wonder why those girls were always moaning in Dean’s room if this is what it feels like.  His lips soon encompassed my right nipple and I felt him gently suck on it which caused me to wrap my hands over his head to keep him there.  Stroking and even slightly pulling on his golden locks which caused him to moan.

And hearing him moan while he sucked on my nipple sent a pleasurable feeling down to my lower region.  After a few seconds he released my nipple before looking back up at me.  I adjusted our position so that I was now on top of him and began kissing his neck.

He let out a few choked gasps as I kissed lower down towards his chest before coming back up again.  His arms wrapped around me tightly as I nipped at the junction on the left side of where his neck and shoulder met.  After leaving a fairly nice little hickey I knew would form there, Jack and I stared at each other’s eyes once again panting softly.

“So we uhh—” he asked.

“If you wish to continue. Yeah we-we can.” I said clearing my throat as I was still slightly dizzy from the pleasure that had made me blind for a moment back there.

“Do I or do you remove our umm…..”

“It doesn’t matter, I guess I could do it if you’re comfortable with it.”

“Yeah. I trust you (Y/n).” I softly smiled and gently pecked his lips before I placed my hands at the rim of his sleep pants and looked at him one last time.

“You ready?” I asked him.  He nodded giving me consent before I reached in to not only grab his sleep pants but also his boxers as I slowly scooted them off his surprisingly silky-smooth legs.  Once they were off, I then reached for my own pants and underwear and slowly removed them until we were as naked as told in the tale of Adam and Eve.

“So I—guess I just….put it inside you?” he asked me.  “How do I know if I—”

“I think we’ll cross that bridge once we get there. Just….be gentle, okay?” he stroked a strand of hair out of my face.

“Always.” He pecked my lips once more before having me return on the bottom while he resumed his position on top of me.  Our foreheads pressed together as he leaned down and kissed me and I felt him enter inside me.

I let out a hiss of pain and let out a painful groan, he stopped and looked down at me concerned.

“Should we stop? I’m hurting you aren’t I? I swear I’m not trying to it’s just….”

“I know Jack. Just…..let me get adjusted. Keep still for a moment.” I eased his anxiety by cupping his face into my hands. He nodded and kept still as I told him while I got used to feeling him inside of me.  I took a few deep breaths before telling him, “Okay I’m ready.”

“You sure?” I nodded.  He slowly pushed further inside of me kissing my neck any time I groaned or hissed in pain.  His hands gently massaged my back and hips as he applied the right pressure to get my muscles to relax with each push he did.

Once we got pass the painful stage of the first time, there suddenly came a wave of pleasure as Jack slowly began pumping himself in and out of me.  My mouth opened in an O shape as I gasped and grunted and Jack did the same as he kept thrusting in and out.

“Oh Jesus! Oh Jack! Jack! Jack! Jack! Holy shit that fee-Ahh!”

“I know. It……it’s good for…..me too.” He said through his grunts.  We wrapped our arms around the other as we feverishly and passionately kissed each other. Our tongues dancing a sloppy dance as Jack continued to hit all the right spots.

“I—I’m gonna…..please Jack. Let us cum together!”

“Is-is that what—what that feeling is? Cause I UGH! I want to cum too.”

“Let us go—toge—together.” He nodded as he picked up the pace and our grunts and howls mixed in together until finally we came together.  Jack collapsed on top of me, his head resting on my shoulder while I kept my arms wrapped around him stroking through his hair.

He looked into my eyes as I felt him trembling under my fingers.  The small bangs on his head clung onto his forehead as small beads of sweat sat upon his brow.

“You’re trembling.” I whispered.

“I’ll be fine. Are you okay?”

“That was…..the second best thing I’ve ever experienced in my entire life.”

“What was the first?”

“Getting you into Star Wars.” We softly chuckled as I placed my hand on the back of his head, leaned it down so that I could kiss his forehead and he rested his head on my bare chest.

“Is this what it feels like afterwards? I think Dean called it afterglow.” Jack asked me.

“More or less. But it’s even better than I could imagine.” I felt Jack cuddle into my sternum and even giving my collarbone a soft kiss.

“You—don’t think your brothers are gonna find out about this, do you?”

“If they do, I’ll handle it. I’m not a little girl anymore so I can do whatever I want.” I kissed the crown of his head. “Hey get this,” he looked up at me, “Tomorrow at the lodge they’re having fantasy movie night and can you guess what they’re showing?”

“Star Wars?” I nodded. “Can we go see it? Can we, please? Please? Please? Please? Please?”

“Now how can I say no to this adorable face.” I said as I cupped his cheek.  We got back on our clothes before cuddling into our sleeping bags and snuggled them close together.  “G’night Jack.”

“Goodnight (Y/n). I—I love you.”

“I love you too baby.” I let out a deep sigh before succumbing to sleep.

[macklemore1648]

North Shore High pt 2

it’s not that i was scared of Regina, i just so happened to not glance at her in the hallways and turn the other direction almost immediately when i saw her. i didn’t text her the day she gave me her number, how do you casually text someone like that? you can’t just say hey or hi you have to think of something clever. so i just avoided the whole problem all together and didn’t text her. easy peasy. that’s what i thought until i had reached 4th period, the one class i knew there was no way of getting around without seeing her.

“are you avoiding me?” she said almost immediately when i sat down.

“no of course not why would you think that?” i was trying to sound cool honestly.

“because everytime i’ve seen you in the hallways you turn so fast,i think you almost fell over one time.” she was facing me and staring very intensely at me.

“i just forgot something in my locker.” i was more trying to convince myself more than her, there’s no way i made it that obvious did i?

i could tell by the way she nodded she didn’t believe me one bit but she turned back around and i didn’t hear another word from her the whole class. when Regina invited me to sit with her at lunch i thought she was being genius. as intense of a person she seems like, i thought she felt bad because it was my first day. but with the stories i’ve been hearing, and there’s been a lot, i know she’s not that kind of person. she had to be playing some kind of prank on me honestly. i don’t tolerate people like her, i cant stand bullies.

“y/n are you going to come sit with me? you already promised you would.” and there was that damn smirk she kept using everytime she would talk to me. i didn’t have a lie today i haven’t even seen janis and damian yet. i bit the inside of my cheek contemplating my choices. i could go over there and have a nice lunch trying not to throw it up on her, or i could make up another lie that i forgot to get something somewhere and find a nice place to hide. seeing as she saw right through my lie earlier i slowly walked towards her.

once i sat down i saw her two friends, who i’ve now discovered to be Gretchen Wieners and Karen Shetty. once Gretchen saw me she looked like she was about to lose it.

“um what are you doing here?” Gretchen said with big eyes.

i opened my mouth to say something but Regina had already beaten me too it.

“this is y/n she’s new and she’s sitting with us today.” Regina made it sound very casual but i could tell from Gretchen’s face it wasn’t normal for people to sit with them. she even said something about rules?

“okay well then she’ll have to learn the rules to sit with us!” ahh yes i knew i didn’t hear it wrong.

what a lovely day this was going to be.

//

school was finally over and i didn’t see any sign of Regina George waiting to hit me with her jeep so i walked as quick as i could to my car, and i turned right into walking as slow as i could when i saw her leaning on the hood of my car inspecting her cuticles.

fucking perfect.

“so y/n are you going to text me yet for the details of my party?” she hadn’t even looked up from her nails yet.

“i thought you said it was a small get together?” i knew it was dangerous to be talking to her like this but i was trying to figure her out, with the stories ive heard around it doesn’t sound like her. she seems almost completely opposite of it honestly.

“give me your phone.” she finally looked up at me and held her hand out waiting for my phone.

“what no i’m not gonna give you my phone, i can’t just hand my phone to strangers that’s weird.” i was already pulling my phone out of my pocket it was really no use to even try to say anything. every time she demanded something i did it almost instantly for her.

once she had my phone her hand she went straight to my contacts and added her number in herself, she then proceeded to text herself so she would get my number. she even went as far as taking a selfie on my phone and setting it as her contact photo.

“you better actually text me back.” she slid me my phone back and walked off with a sway in her hips that i couldn’t stop myself from staring. she really was something else. once i got into my car i pulled out my phone to look at what she said.

all she said was a simple hey with a smiley emoji.

she put herself as Regina <3 and the bubble dots were already popping up.

Regina <3

221 N Baker Street. be there loser ;)

//

the next two days i didn’t sit with Regina at lunch, she talked to me in 4th hour but only asking about questions of what was happening in class. i noticed she did start parking her jeep where i could see it from my car. and we somehow managed to get to our cars at the same time and she would wave at me with a that smirk and wink.

tonight was the night of Regina’s party. i tried to talk damian and janis who i was now getting closer with to come with me but they wouldn’t budge with their hate for her. they did tell me they would come pick me up with damian’s grandmas jazzy? i told myself i would scope the place out see how i was feeling and then leave after that. i wasn’t going to stay long i had too much anxiety for that.

i pulled the address up onto my phone and followed it till i pulled up to a very big house with cars lined down the street and loud music. there was already teenagers throwing up outside or walking all crazy from having a little bit too much to drink, and that was enough to convince me to turn around completely. but the little blonde i couldn’t stop running into too had already seen me.

“oh my god y/n you actually came?” Regina pulled me close into her and i could smell the same perfume and shampoo but with a hint of alcohol. she dragged me all the way into her kitchen to where she had an older woman serving the drinks.

“y/n this is my mom!” she shouted over the loud music.

“your mom lets you throw parties?” i had to stand close and shout to her to make sure she would hear me.

“she just wants me to be like how she was in high school and have everyone like me.” she was pretty close to me now and it was making me nervous with how close she was standing to me. i could see her eyes inspecting my face and studying me closely. she pushed a drink into my hand and cheered her drink with it and started downing it. i felt no other option to down mine with her.

//

my first mistake was letting myself actually come to this party. my second mistake was excepting multiple drinks from her and her friend Karen. because i ended up in Regina’s room with her Gretchen and Karen sitting in a small circle.

“oh my gosh guys we should play spin the bottle!!” Karen said who had obviously had one too many drinks.

“Karen it’s just us four that’s not going to be any fun.” Regina said from my right side. this sent Karen into thinking about another fun game we could play.

“what about never have i ever!!!” she shouted with a fit of giggles.

Regina thought this over for a minute before turning to me.

“what do you say y/n?” wanting my approval even though she approved everything.

“that sounds like the best idea you’ve ever had!” i have Karen a big high five. my stomach was feeling warm and i was feeling a little dizzy but i felt good, i didn’t feel like throwing up on Regina every time i looked at her now. she was very pretty it was hard to look at her for so long and not want to barf all over her beautiful face.

“okay i’ll start.” karen put on her thinking face and thought very hard about a good question

“never have i ever slept with someone whose name i didnt know.” she laughed really hard putting her own finger down, this girl did not understand the rules.

“no Karen you’re supposed to say stuff you haven’t done.” Gretchen said slapping her forehead.

“like this, never have i ever kissed a girl.” Gretchen said to karen who put another finger down. i also put a finger a down for that one with a smirk on my face. i looked over at Regina who was bitting her bottom lip as she put one of her fingers down. oh?

the game confined on with mostly sexual questions and Karen was the first one out. turns out she’s hooked up with 11 people. but nobody was supposed to know that.

i looked down at my phone to see that it was already 1 in the morning and i decided it was time for me to go home. but when i stood up i felt how drunk i actually was and i wasn’t sure driving home would be the best idea.

“you can stay here if you want.” Regina said softly next to me.

“i don’t want the cops showing up to my house because you got a dui or something like that.”

“you know you are hot.” i knew i shouldn’t be saying stuff like this but the words just came out of my mouth before i could stop them. “sometimes when i look at you and you’re looking at me i want to throw up on you.” i nodded a matter of factly. this made Regina smile large showing all of her teeth and i knew it wasn’t a fake smile. it wasn’t that smirk she had been using to seem like she didn’t care. it was a real genuine smile from Regina George.

“i think it’s time for you to go to bed loser.” she led to me a spare room where she gave me some spare clothes to sleep in. i grabbed them thankful and started stripping off my shirt in front of her ready to get out of my clothes and go to bed. Regina’s eyes went large and she turned around immediately.

“thank you Regina i had fun.” i could hear all of my words slowly slurring and getting more and more tired. she finally turned back around to face me after she gave me enough time to get dressed.

“get some rest.” she gave me a small kiss on my cheek and headed out of the room shutting the door behind her. i sent a quick text to my mother that i was going to be staying the night at my friends house and then texted damian and janis.

no neeb to get mE all gud hEre.

i tossed my phone god knows where and laid down into the bed and closed my eyes. the last thought in my mind was Regina George.

A/N: creative juices are flowing rn but it also 1 am sorry for any misspelling or anything i’m very tired. hope yall enjoyed, thank you to everyone for reading <3

[thelikesofus]

Words Fall Short (Tongue Tied and Lonely)

AKA The Miscommunication Fic

Buddie | 9-1-1 on Fox | 13k words | angst with a happy ending, buck is an unreliable narrator, fridge-related angst, eddie is a little bit oblivious

Buck misoverhears Eddie complaining to Hen at work and presumes the worst. He slowly starts to phase himself out of Eddie's life and Eddie doesn't know why.

Read on AO3

Buck doesn’t like to jinx things but even he can admit that it has been a pretty good day. The sun has been shining, the calls have been routine and few and far between, and with the end of their shift closing in, he is lined up to spend the evening with his two favorite Diaz boys for their obligatory Friday movie night. Of course, just as often seems to happen in Buck’s life, just as things are looking up, something comes along to ruin it. 

"He's just always there." He hears Eddie complain and Buck's heart immediately stops, as do his feet as he comes to a halt just behind the bunk room door. 

"What do you mean?" Hen is there too, with Eddie. 

"I dunno, Hen. He's Buck, you know what he's like." Eddie sounds exasperated and Buck is having flashbacks to the grocery store and you're exhausting . "He's always there, cooking us dinner, driving Chris to school, buying our groceries, sleeping on my couch."

Buck instantly wracks his brain, trying to remember the last time he slept at his loft. He knows he was there on Tuesday but that was just to water his plants and pick up an extra work shirt. He still went back to Eddie's that night, made the pasta recipe he found on Facebook, and—slept on Eddie's couch. 

God, how has he not noticed? No wonder Eddie is annoyed, Buck hasn't given them a night to themselves in weeks. Eddie probably wants to spend time with his son, relax by himself, hell, do his laundry without Buck chattering away about narwhals the entire time. 

Buck's heart feels like a small, fragile thing in his chest, barely beating and cold as ice. He turns on his heel and decides he’ll sleep on the couch in the loft instead. When Eddie asks him later whose vehicle they're driving home in, he apologizes and pretends that he has a meeting with his landlord that he forgot and bows out of movie night. He'll make it up to Chris later, maybe take him to the zoo next week — if Eddie's okay with that. Maybe that's still him being too much . 

He ignores the pinched and confused look on Eddie's face at his dismissal and quickly shouts goodbye to the rest of the crew before ducking out to his Jeep and driving back to his loft. 

The loft, not home. He hasn't referred to it in his head as home in months. Home is lego-covered floors and three pairs of shoes by the door. Home is Finding Nemo and bedtime stories and beers on the porch under the glow of the inside light. Eddie’s house has been Buck’s home for longer than he realized and now he feels like an intruder. He had carved out a space for himself without a thought about how Eddie would feel about having his home invaded. Well, Buck will not be a stowaway any longer. 

The loft is cold and still when he unlocks the door, kicking the pile of junk mail and bills aside with his foot as he enters. After a shower, he finds an old, scratchy sweatshirt and the pair of joggers that shrunk in the wash to be the only 'comfy' clothes left in his drawer. 

He traipses into the kitchen to start prepping dinner. He hopes that keeping his hands busy will distract him from the ghost of Taylor that still clings to the walls of his apartment. He doesn’t miss her, not the way he thinks he should. They ended on good terms, good for what it could have been — with his penchant for deflection and her love of sharp words. But he’s spent the last six months trying to move forward, to become comfortable alone in his skin. Learning how to fill his time without putting half his worth into what he can provide for someone else, for a significant other. But now, being back here in his empty loft, it feels like a step backward, like he’s not only been using Eddie’s hospitality but using Eddie as a scapegoat for Buck’s need to feel useful. God dammit .

His fridge is empty. There's a couple of carrots, half a jar of olives, and the leftover naan bread from the takeaways he and Eddie had for lunch the day they were both here because the plumber was at Eddie’s fixing a leak in his ceiling. That was three weeks ago and the naan is moldy. Get it together, Buckley.

Buck leans his elbows against the kitchen counter and presses the heels of his palms into his eyes. He tries to take the deep, even breaths that Doctor Copeland had taught him. He throws the naan in the trash, calls the Chinese place down the street to place an order, and munches on one of the carrots while he waits for the delivery guy to show up.

Continue on AO3

[ppersonna]

thunder - ksj | m

your voice was the soundtrack of my summer. do you know you're unlike any other? you'll always be my thunder. - thunder, boys like girls

↳ summary- you allow your best friend Jin to take you backpacking once per year.  apparently, this year’s outing would be the wettest yet.

↳ rating- explicit/18+/nsfw

↳ pairing- kim seokjin x reader

↳ word count- 6k

↳ genre- fluff, tiny angst, smut, comedy

↳ warnings- penetrative sex, unprotected sex, fingering, dirty talk, light dom!jin, light sub!reader, fucking in tents haha ha ha ha, cum play, cum eating, possessive dirty talk

↳ a/n- wow hello! its been so long since i uploaded a fic i almost forgot how to do it! i would like to give you a fic that i’ve had in my storage since march, and one i’m excited to finally finish. i’d be nowhere without @taetaewonderland​ @xjoonchildx​ @ladyartemesia​ for hyping me up to post it in the first place.  thank u to @shadowsremedy​ for being my fav beta ily ily ily. enjoy my babes! pls feel free to message me!

 “Kim Seokjin, if you got us lost, I’m going to murder you,” you seethed as your pulled your booted foot out of a slick puddle of mud. 

“I didn’t get us lost, dear. The map is wrong,” he replied coolly as he twisted the crumpled map from portrait to landscape, and back again. “I’m an excellent navigator, but when the tools I have are faulty…”. 

You grumbled, stopping your walk to sit on a fallen log. You sighed audibly at your best friend, still maneuvering in the small clearing in the forest, trying to match the map to where you were. You chanced a look at the sky as you sought to catch your breath and sate your anger. Dark, heavy clouds were forming, the kind that didn’t just indicate a sprinkle but a torrential downpour. 

“Shit, Jin. It’s going to storm soon,” you warned.  

He stopped his map seeking and glanced at the sky, frown buried deep in his face. 

Instantly, as if it never changed, he returned to his bright and cheery demeanor. 

“Well! Looks like we should work faster to make it back to camp, huh?” 

Seokjin would be excited for an unexpected kink in your plans. The boy was obsessed with “roughing it”. You agreed to one weekend with minimal hiking. Camping, in your opinion, was meant to be spent drunk around a fire eating s’mores and telling scary stories, not walking for miles through nothing but trees, mud, and probably bears.

Camping had never been your favorite hobby, and you allowed Seokjin to take you off trail backpacking once per year. The man looked forward to it, planned it several months in advance, and counted down the days until he stuffed you in his Jeep down a deserted forest highway to the campsite. 

Only, Jin never took the “minimal hiking” thing too seriously. 

“It’s an easy hike,” he had promised you that morning as you set up camp. “More of a stroll than anything.” 

You kicked at the dirt beneath you now, upset you had listened to the dark-haired man’s empty promises. 

“How about we just go back the way we came from?” You suggested as you stood up and brushed the dirt off your backside from the log. 

“Nonsense,” he sniffed. “I’ve got it right here. We can take this trail,” he gestured at a clearing through the trees, “for about a mile, turn left at the open valley, and we’ll be back at camp two miles after that!”  He proclaimed his findings as if it were so easy, so obvious. 

“Great, three miles of hiking. After we’ve already done four, at least.”

“Yes, my ever-positive sunshine, you should be happy I found us a shortcut.” He patted your head and smiled at you as he adjusted your backpack strap that was sliding off your shoulders. He lingered, eyes on you and your lips for just a fraction too long, before he turned and began leading you through the forest. 

Your heart was racing, unrelated to the elevation or the hike. 

You gave in so easily to Jin not because he was your best friend since childhood, but also because he was the man you were hopelessly in love with. 

You’d been smitten with the older boy since your senior year of high school, when he jokingly asked you to prom and you realized you wanted Seokjin courting you to be a regular occurrence. 

You stayed by his side through it all, all girlfriends and breakups. It hurt to watch him with another, but maintaining his friendship was more important than anything else and you weren’t about to lose him to a crush that you could easily just avoid. 

Seokjin was attached to your hip, a fact your friends never let you live down. They were relentless in encouraging you two to be alone, and for you to admit your feelings to him. They told you they were sure he would reciprocate it.  

Unbeknownst to them, you had admitted it. 

You and Jin once got messy drunk on the floor of your apartment, where you slithered up into his lap and whispered your secret devotion to your best friend. Seokjin merely laughed and kissed your nose. You were so embarrassed and rejected you never brought it up again. Best to leave it be, rather than bring a 15 year friendship to a screeching halt. 

So—you valiantly stood by him as his best friend and confidante. You were there when he excitedly told you about his new girlfriend, or when he called you crying over their breakup. Your heart twinged at both; you wanted to be the reason for his excitement and the balm to his wounded heart. 

You allowed Seokjin to take you on all his wild adventures. Like now—traipsing through the forest with no direction in sight, because you would have done nearly anything for the boy.

A crack of thunder shook you from your thoughts and you jumped at the sudden sound. 

“Ah, so cute,” he smiled at you, “still afraid of thunder?”

You blushed and pouted. “It just surprised me, is all.”

He smirked as if to say he didn’t believe you and nodded. “We should get a move on, don’t want to get caught in the rain.” 

You shivered at the thought. It was already cool in the forest; the trees providing enough coverage it locked out any sun, if there had been any. You quickly moved in step behind your best friend. It only took a few minutes of silence before the telltale pitter patter of droplets on leaves began. A fat raindrop landed on your forehead. 

“Fuck,” you groaned. “It’s starting.”  

“I know,” Jin suddenly looked worried, his confident demeanor cracking. He looked back at you and tightened the straps on his backpack. 

“Let’s run?”

You were powerless to deny any request from him. Plus, you didn’t really feel like getting drenched. 

You adjusted your own backpack and took off, running through the quickly dampening forest beside Seokjin. 

The rain came in a downpour. It hit you hard, blurring your vision. Seokjin slipped his hand into yours, not wanting to lose you in the storm. You pushed your legs in time with his, jumping around fell logs and rocks and skipping large puddles. 

You were drenched as Seokjin pulled you into a makeshift canopy of rocks, a momentary pause from the storm to catch your breath. Your hair was soaking wet, as if freshly showered. Seokjin’s hair stuck to his face, and you smiled as he looked at you with concern. It only took a moment until you were both bursting with laughter, finding humor at the moment. 

It was something you loved about Seokjin. He always knew how to make you laugh in times it seemed impossible. 

“This sucks,” you spoke through your joyful laughter.  He nodded in agreement. 

“I think we’re almost back. We need to turn soon, and then we’ve got about two more miles. You ready?”

You agreed and pushed back the slick hair in your eyes, before doing the same for him. His eyes sparkled. You didn’t know what it meant. 

In an instant, you were running again. The backpack bounced against your back and rain pounded your body. The things you did for Kim Seokjin. You were whipped, and you knew it. 

The trail seemed like it went on forever. You both became so tired of running that you slowed and trudged slowly through mud as rain pelted you, accepting your fate of soaking to the bone. You were sure you had never been this drenched in your life.  Your clothes were stuck to your body and dripping down into your shoes and socks. Your teeth chattered in the breeze—it felt as if the wind whipped right through you.  The sky rumbled again, as if warning you to hurry lest it dump more rain on you.

Seokjin was always the caring companion. He rubbed your shoulders and arms to warm them up and promised a roaring fire. You hated how much it made your heart burst.

You were very much looking forward to your one-man tent, stocked with a sleeping bag and blankets. You could strip down and dry off and slip into the warmth of your own personal nest. 

Seokjin waxed poetic about his own spacious tent—a lofty family sized one, and how he made sure he brought his sleeping bag along with 8 thick blankets, and how he couldn’t wait to snuggle down into his own.  Seokjin was the picture of preparedness. He even kept a locking box full of snacks in his tent because the boy was a foodie and couldn’t survive without the treats. It came in handy. 

“What would you do if we were stuck out here forever?” You posed to your best friend, curious about his response and desperate to pass the time as you hiked. 

“Well,” he thought aloud. “I’d miss the guys. But I’d be happy to be stuck out here with you.”  

Your cheeks flushed. 

“You wouldn’t miss, ah—what’s her name? Miya?” 

Seokjin shrugged. “She’s fun. She’s not you, though.”

You couldn’t help but grumble internally. She was good enough to date, and you weren’t. She was different in some respect. 

“Are things not going well with her?” You asked, secretly hoping they weren’t.

“It’s fine. She’s nice and all,” he sighed.  “Just, there’s no spark there, you know?”  

You knew all too well. Any man you tried to date paled compared to your best friend, and the fireworks behind your every heartbeat when you were near him.

“What about you?” He was peering into your eyes and into what felt like your soul. “You and Jungkook sure seem cozy.” His tone sounded annoyed, sarcastic even.

You couldn’t help but bark a laugh. 

“Oh god, no,” you shook your soggy head.  “Not my type. We’re good friends and that’s it. Plus, I’m sure he’s into Jimin.”

Seokjin shrugged again. “You sit on his lap and cuddle up to him all the time…”

“Are you jealous?” You smirked, nudging the man.  Please, god, please be jealous.

“N-No!” He was sharp. “I’m not.”

Ouch.

You remained silent, eyes downcast at your muddy boots as you walked alongside the man.

“Sorry,” he mumbled after a beat of silence. 

“Don’t worry about it, Seokjin. I got it—loud and clear.”

Seokjin looked hurt, a wave of dissatisfaction crossing his features. He wanted to say something, mouth opening to continue his apology. You ignored it wholly. He knew your feelings. There was no way he couldn’t remember that night. You pushed ahead of the man, walking in front of him to avoid his pained gaze and likely hurried apology.  

The light of day was leaving. Everything around you was steadily getting darker, and the rain showed no sign of giving up. You silently begged to be back to the safety of your camp soon, lest you become walking mountain lion bait.

“There’s camp!” Seokjin finally pointed and ran through the rain ahead of you.

“Oh thank fuck,” you sighed, feeling as if it lifted a weight from your shoulders. You couldn’t wait to strip out of your soaking clothes and slither into your blankets.

“Oh shit,” Seokjin whispered, stopping where he stood.  You followed his gaze, concerned about what stopped the boy so quickly.   

Your tent was ripped open, the insides of it exposed to the wind and rain. Everything you owned was soaking wet. You had set it up in a clearing with not too many trees above it, and it appeared the lack of protection against the wind and rain tore the poor fabric to shreds.

A worn-out and distraught sob left your lips.

“No!”  

You ran to the tent and nearly cried. Fortunately, beyond just being soaking wet and useless for the night, everything was intact. There was only no warmth to be had. No warm clothes to change into. Nothing.  

“What the fuck am I going to do?!” 

Seokjin placed a hand on your shoulder.  

“You can share with me?” He sounded hopeful. “We can hang your clothes to dry and when the storm passes, we can build a fire and let your tent air out.  But you should probably sleep in my tent tonight.” 

You bit your lip. You had slept with Seokjin in more beds than you could count, always being forced to share a bed as the designated ‘best friends who don’t care’.  And it was never easy for you. You always woke up with the delicious scent of his cologne and shampoo, and your body curled around his. His hardness would always be pressed up against you, and it took all you had not to wrap your mouth around it to wake him up.

“Yeah, thanks Seokjin,” you breathed. “I’m fucking freezing. And I’m tired. I just want to get some sleep.”

Seokjin slipped his backpack off and pulled yours off your frame. He hung them from a sturdy branch, protected by layers of trees overhead, to let them dry.  

“I have some towels in my tent, go on in. You can get dry and hand me your wet clothes to hang. Then you can get in the blankets and I’ll make us something to eat.”

You blushed. Seokjin hadn’t seen you fully naked, ever; at least not since you were toddlers.

Slipping into his blankets while stark nude would be a dream. It was something you fantasized about more than you’d care to admit. But, in the current conditions, being naked and clammy in the blankets next to your best friend who didn’t return any feelings for you sounded more like an awkward moment waiting to happen.

If Seokjin noticed anything, he didn’t show it. He acted as if making you strip in his tent was a normal thing, nothing out of the ordinary. 

“I’ll wait out here,” he nodded dutifully. 

You slipped out of your muddy boots and socks, and into his tent. It was nice and spacious, and the blankets looked incredibly enticing. It was kind of Seokjin to let you stay with him, even kinder that he would remain soaking wet to make you something to eat. Your body felt so worn out and drained, and you were sure he did too. 

You peeled the wet clothing off of you, every bit, before sticking your head out the door and handing him the clothes.  

“Don’t worry about food, okay? You should get dry too.”  

He wrinkled his forehead. 

“You sure?” 

You bit your lip and nodded. 

“I’m sure. Plus, we have your snacks.”

“Ah, good thinking,” he shot his finger guns at you. “I’ll be there in a minute, then. Hand me a towel and I’ll get undressed out here.”

You shyly handed him a towel, now very aware that you and Seokjin would be in the same tent—naked. The thought thrilled you as much as it scared you. 

It didn’t take long to burrow yourself into his freshly made bed roll, sliding into the neat layers. Seokjin was nearly military in his routine and order.  Everything was always tucked, pressed, and laid down perfectly. 

Your body wracked with shivers and chills—the blankets and sleeping bag were cold from the ambient air outside. You folded yourself together in a fetal position to maintain some warmth. It felt good to lie down on the soft bed mat, but the blankets were doing nothing to provide warmth. 

The sound of the zipper opening the front door flap of the tent made you shake harder. You could feel the wind blow through the opening now. The sound of the storm was loud, and you were grateful for the heavy tarp covering Seokjin’s tent. It provided some respite from the wind and kept all water off the tent. At least Seokjin had been smart in his setup. You ignored the man’s suggestions to set up better, and you were fully regretting it now.

Seokjin had the towel wrapped around his waist and stepped about the tent easily. He dabbed at his upper body with a smaller towel from his suitcase and rubbed his hair dry. The normally perfectly coiffed head was now static-y and sticking up wildly. It would have made you laugh if you weren’t so cold. 

Seokjin moved around you and slid into the blankets, leaving a large space between you, before he threw the towel around his waist onto the floor. He was naked now; you noted internally. You both were. A shiver ran down your spine, unrelated to the relentless chill.

It was silent. All you could hear was the beating of the rain on the tarp and your teeth chattering as you shivered. 

Seokjin stole a look at you, finally, and noticed your position, holding yourself to build warmth. 

“Shit, are you okay?” He asked. 

“I’m j-j-just col-l-ld,” you whispered. “And t-t-tired.”

Seokjin didn’t reply, but you heard the scratching sound of a moving sleeping bag and rustling of blankets and suddenly felt a very warm, very naked body pressed against you. It was blissful, and you moaned out loud at the feel of him spooning you. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. You didn’t know what for, and couldn’t bring yourself to reply. 

You burrowed yourself down into his warmth and felt his arms wrap around you, securing you against him. He radiated heat. He felt like heaven. Your eyes closed—he had you feeling like you had stepped into a delicious sauna.

Seokjin’s muscular arms hadn’t moved an inch since they wrapped around you, but now his hands slowly rubbed at your torso, warming you everywhere his hand dragged. It felt electrifying and your body relaxed easily under his delicate fingertips. 

It started out innocent, rubbing along your stomach and side to warm you further. But his hand began straying north, reaching the crest of your breasts. Your breath hitched as he rubbed over the cold swells. Your nipples were hard from the chill and pebbled even further with the touch of his hands. It made a gasp stick in your throat.

His lips touched your neck, lightly. They were warm too. It seemed his entire body was twenty degrees warmer than your own, and every touch felt like a raging flame. His hands continued rubbing along your breasts as he laved and sucked.

 at the column of your throat.  

As instantly as it began, Seokjin stopped. His hands hovered above your breasts. 

He pressed kisses to your neck and face. “We should sleep, babe,” he sighed.  

You wanted to protest, to push him further, to take care of what he started, but you couldn’t find the energy. Seokjin’s warmth matched with the comfort of his bedroll, and the soothing rise and fall of his breath was lulling you into sleep. Even though it was still early evening, the hike and the run back to safety took it all out of you.  

Seokjin’s arms felt like safety. He secured them around you, slipping just underneath your breasts where his thumb could trace alongside the bottom as you easily succumbed to sleep.

It was still dark when you woke.  

The rain was still coming down, light this time. It sounded relaxing, soothing. Seokjin was still spooning you, sleeping soundly behind you. You twisted in his grasp to gaze at him. 

His hair was dry now, sticking out randomly about his pillow. You were sure if he saw it he’d panic, normally so precise with his looks. He looked so peaceful when he was asleep, none of his chaotic energy and dramatic charisma. 

You loved every facet of Seokjin. You loved the flamboyance, the sensitivity, the deep compassion for his friends.  

You turned around, as gently and quietly as you could, and pressed a hand to his cheek—rubbing at the warm and soft flesh. He sighed softly in his sleep, moving against his pillow. An eye cracked open, and he stared at you. 

“Why are you awake?” He whispered, his voice gentle. “It’s still dark.” 

He was confused, and the look that graced his features was adorable. You wanted to photograph it and frame it, make it the lock screen of your phone. 

You shook your head. 

“Don’t know.”

Seokjin’s hand rubbed at your shoulder, then up to your face. He tucked your hair behind your ear and smiled at you. 

“You look so cute in the moonlight.”

You closed your eyes, letting his compliment wash over you. You couldn’t find the words to reply. You let him continue caressing your cheek, feeling as if you were living a fantasy where Seokjin touched you like a lover. 

You were so close to him, chest pressing against his own. Something about the quiet storm, the dark tent, had you disregarding any embarrassment you should have felt pressing your naked tits to the man's chest, but the spell of the forest had you pressing closer. Your lips were inches apart, and you could feel his breath on your lips. 

The feel of Seokjin’s lips pressing against yours was light, but felt as if all the fireworks in the world exploded behind your eyes and within your belly. It started sweet, gentle. You kissed him like you always wanted to, full of unrequited love and unwavering desire. Your arms slithered around his neck, pulling him even closer against you.  

The kiss turned deeper, mouths opening to allow the passage of tongues. He sought into your mouth, caressing yours with his own, pouring what felt like his very spirit into you. His hand left your back and slid up your sides to press against your breast. 

“Seokjin,” you murmured, feeling your brain swirl headily. “Feels good.”

He didn’t reply, only kept kissing at your neck and pinching gently at your hardened nipples. It made you cry out, gaping at the slight pain.

“If you want me to stop, tell me.” 

His words were gentle. His hands stilled, stopping all ministrations against you.

Your breath was hard and shaky, matching the erratic beat of your heart in your ribcage. Your unrequited crush of years was now roaming your body, touching you as a lover rather than a friend.

“Please, don’t stop.”

He was on you again, now bloodthirsty for any part of your skin to touch. He tugged at your nipples, suckled up your neck to kiss and lick at the shell of your ears.  You pressed against him, gasping at the feel of his now stiff cock. He circled his hips, relishing in the feel of you against him. You wondered how he would feel inside you. He was thick and long—it would be a stretch, and a most delicious and welcome one.

He pressed you back against the pillow, hovering over your body as he kissed down your neck and sucked at the pressure points there. A pleasured sigh passed through your open lips, reveling in the feel of him on your skin. It was something you dreamed about often. It felt unreal to finally have it. 

You were on display for him, and his eyes raked over you as if you were a Dalí in the Louvre. His hands slid up to cup your breasts, and you tilted your head back to moan. You didn’t care at all about how you looked, how this might be awkward in the next few hours. You cared only about feeling Seokjin within you, getting him off, succumbing to your own pleasure wrought by his hands and his cock.

“Fuck, babe,” he sighed. “Wanted this for a while.”

“Me too,” you gasped as he slid a finger down to your core, circling faintly over your slick folds.

“Have you?”

“Seokjin, I’ve been in love with you since high school.”

Seokjin closed his eyes and smiled, breathing through his nose in contentment.

“You weren’t just saying that when you were drunk then.”

You shook your head, and Seokjin opened his eyes to peer at you.

“No, Seokjin,” you whispered needily, his finger still so torturously close to your clit. “I meant it.”

He leaned down with a smile and planted gentle kisses on your cheeks, adoring and gentle.  

“I’ve been in love with you too. I thought you were just drunk. I never acted on it because I didn’t want to get my heart broken.”

He pulled up and allowed his free hand to cup your cheek.

“I’m going to fuck you now, okay?” He asked. “Like, really fucking hard. You good with that?”

You couldn’t help but laugh. A deep, hearty chuckle passed between both of you, enamored with each other and the situation of being naked and intertwined together, the warmth of your matched confessions surrounding you.  

“Fuck me, please,” you begged.

And Seokjin would be loath to deny you.

His teasing finger finally slid into your core, fucking into you with ease from your slick walls.  You gasped at the welcome intrusion, eyes fluttering closed as he began a slight pace and watched the way you fell apart.

“So pretty,” he whispered. “So fucking pretty.”

He slipped another finger in, scissoring them open as he worked at you.  Your legs trembled, and it made the older man smirk.  

“Look at you,” he praised. “So easily turned into a *gushing* puddle for me.”

You nodded pathetically, back arching as he added yet another finger and pressed at the spot inside you that had your mind spinning and thoughts erasing.

“Oh—God, Jin!”

As much as Jin wanted to see you get off around his fingers, he was desperate for more. You were finally all his—something he’s wanted since he could remember. All he’s wanted was for you to be his.

He pulled his fingers from inside you and smiled as they came out slicked up with your own essence.  He ensured you made eye contact with him, then popped them into his mouth one-by-one, to suck them clean.

It made your mouth nearly fall to the floor as you watched him suck his fingers clean of you. Your body trembled with a need you hadn’t felt before. It was stronger than anything you’d felt before. It was unadulterated desire for Seokjin.

“Mm,” he sighed happily as he pulled the final digit from his mouth. “Delicious, as I thought.”

“Oh, my god,” you gaped. “Jin…,”

The man merely shook his head and smiled, crowding you down and hovering over your lips.

“You’re mine now, you got that?” 

His eyes tracked yours, watching your every movement. It took you a moment to swallow your nerves, to regain any ounce of confidence.

“I’ve always been yours, Seokjin.”

He held you down, watching you with a gleam of wonder in his eye, before surging forward and planting his lips onto yours. His tongue dove in instantly, seeking solace in the warmth of your mouth. Allowing him passage was easy, almost natural. Jin’s tongue swirled around your own as your arms slithered around his neck to bring him closer. Kissing Jin felt like everything you’d imagine it would be, and yet like nothing you could have even dreamed.

Jin didn’t just kiss you—he consumed you. He lapped his tongue into your mouth like he couldn’t get close enough to you. His chest pressed against your body and he groaned into your mouth at the feeling of your perky breasts pushing into his own broad chest.

“Baby,” he whispered as he pulled away. 

It sounded like a dream—the pet name fell from Jin’s lips so easily, as if it were always meant to be spoken to you.

“You’ve always been the one I wanted,” he breathed as he pressed his lips down your neck. “Always the girl I wanted and could never have.”

“Jin,” you gasped as your fingers carded through his hair. “Jin, you’ve always had me.”

He lifted his head and peered deep into your eyes again, so deep it felt like he was glimpsing into your soul.

“I only want you. No one else.”

It knocked you breathless, and it took a moment for you to refill your lungs before nodding.  

“I’m all yours.”

There was acknowledgement in both your admissions. An understanding that there was no more separation of you, and of Jin. That after tonight, it would be a partnership, and the beginnings of something more, something you’ve only dreamt of with the older man.

“Mine,” he whispered, before pressing his lips back to yours.

The kiss was sweet, nearly cloyingly sweet, as his hands cupped your face. He kissed you with every intention, every desperate plea he’s held in his heart for you.

Jin’s length pressed against you—his hips rutting minutely as he kissed you.

“Jin,” you gasped as you pulled away from his lip locked embrace. “Please, I need you.”

Jin’s charming smile spread across his lips, blooming your heart along with it.

“As you wish,” he whispered as he pressed in for another soft kiss..

Instantly, Jin flipped around and switched positions, guiding you to sit atop his hips while he settled down into the mess of blankets and pillows.

“What?” He asked as he noticed your confusion at the sudden mood change, a smirk rising on his puffy lips. “You think I’m gonna let you lay back and make me do all the work?”

There he was, your Seokjin. Never able to keep a comment to himself, regardless of the situation—always working to make you laugh. It made your heart sing.

His hands slid to grip at your hips while you lifted yourself up to hover over his hardened length, lining up the tip to just graze the wetness there.

“You see what you do to me?” You asked with a coy smile. “You see how badly I want you?”

Jin bit his lip, mesmerized by the way your cunt slicked up the head of his cock, desperate to spear into you but holding back.

“Fuck—,” he breathed. “P-Prove it.”

A smirk crossed your features before you took the plunge and allowed his length to slip inside you as you sank to his hips.  The intrusion was welcome, and you gaped at the sensation of him plunging deep.

“Oh, my God!” Jin gasped as you had taken him to the hilt.  His eyes bulged for a moment before they closed in bliss.  “You feel so fucking good.”

You didn’t need to speak. The feeling of Jin’s thick length inside of you was more than enough agreement.  He felt so thick, so long, prodding at the spot inside you that had you weak and stretching you wide to make you gasp at the sizzle of pain.  After a moment of adjusting to his size, you let your hands fall to his chest as you began to slowly rise and fall and set a pace on his cock.

“Oh, fuck, baby,” he whined—eyes wide open and watching you bounce on him. “Shit, this is where you belong.”

You eagerly pinched at your nipples as your pace quickened, nodding at Jin’s encouraging words. Your mouth felt dry, and you felt unable to even vocalize your pleasure beyond your loud sighs and moans.

“Jin,” you breathed.

He nodded, assisting your pace by gripping your hips.  He tugged you down, face to face, to rest on his chest while your hips kept their quick speed of enveloping his cock in your tight heat.  He let a hand cup the side of your face, the other moving to grip your ass.

“You’re all fucking mine,” he grunted as he thrusted his cock up into you, matching the rhythm of your rise and fall. “Gonna make you feel so fucking good every day, baby.”

You nodded quickly, heartbeat rising as you quickened each pound.  Jin’s lips pressed to yours again, this time messier, hotter.  He licked into your mouth, desperate for any more of you he could consume.

“Fuck, you drive me fucking crazy,” he said, cock still thrusting deep inside you. “Let me fuck you from behind?”

You didn’t bother replying, simply removing yourself from his body and assuming the position on your hands and knees.  Jin scrambled to line up behind you, hand pumping his slick cock as he marveled at the sight of you presented for him.

“Take me, please,” you whispered, turning your head to peer at him with a desperate smile. “Fuck me until I can’t see straight.”

Jin hissed an expletive, before lining himself up in your sodden folds and plunging in without a second thought.  Your eyes widened at the new angle, gasping as you felt it hit different areas inside of you that had you squeaking with each hard thrust of his cock.

Jin’s hands gripped your ass, your hips, anywhere he could leave his brutal fingerprints.

“God, you take my cock like a fucking queen,” he gasped as the sound of skin slapping echoed around the tent. “Look at your pussy, so fucking wet for me.”

He marveled at the way his cock plunged deep inside you, then came out covered in your creamy slick.

“You gonna cum for me, baby? You gonna let me claim this pussy with my cum?”

The pleasure was overwhelming—it felt like every nerve ending was lit on fire, and you were a burning fuse about to detonate into a thousand brilliant explosions.  Each thrust of Jin’s thickness had you crying for more, moans echoing off the trees outside.  You were suddenly thankful you were in the middle of nowhere, allowing you to be loud and needy.

Jin reveled in your desperate sighs and the way your body pushed back against his to match his pace.  He knew his end was coming, knew it was going to be short-lived from the start. He’s wanted your body for as long as he could remember, and wanted you in his life as his lover, his girlfriend, more than just what he had been relegated to for so long.  

“Mm, baby, you look so good on your knees for me, fuck,” he gasped as his speed increased. “I can’t wait to make you cum on my cock every fucking day, love. This is my pussy now.”

Jin’s possession of your body made you see stars, vision blurring as your cunt tightened its grip around his cock.  Jin gasped at the grip and his hips stuttered.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he groaned. “I feel you, baby, fuck. Cum for me, angel. Let me feel this tiny little cunt milk me.”

The coil inside you was tightening, pulling tight and making you gasp and scream at the oncoming rush.  Jin’s pounding was relentless, making your entire body shake with the anticipation.  

Your hand dipped to circle at your clit, the ultimate piece to your end. 

The coil snapped, and your cunt pulsated wildly around his cock, vice-grip tight.  It felt as if you had been catapulted off into space, vision blurring and all sound indiscernible from the blood rushing in your ears.

Jin’s climax quickly overtook him at the feeling of your delicious heat gripping at his cock.  With just a few strokes inside you, his cock pulsed hot stripes of cum within you and painted your channel.  Something primal in Seokjin loved that he was within you now, a piece of him deposited inside. 

He allowed a few moments to pass to catch his breath, before slowly easing his spent cock from your dripping walls.  He groaned as he watched a bit of his seed drip out, and he was careful to collect it on his fingers.

“Come here,” he whispered as he pressed his chest to your back and lifted you upright, sitting on your knees.  He presented his fingers to your lips, dripping with your combined slick, and wrapped his free arm around your stomach.

Obediently, you opened your mouth and allowed the man to swirl his cum-coated digits in your mouth. It made your stomach erupt in butterflies, the taste of you and the man you’ve only dreamt about for years now on your tongue.

A crack of thunder shook you from your silent reverie, and Jin removed his fingers from his mouth before wrapping both arms around you and tugging you down to lie face to face on the mused sleeping bags.

“Now, aren’t you glad we did this?” He asked with a chuckle and a kiss to your nose.

You wrinkled your brow and smiled coyly.

“I would have enjoyed it more if you hadn’t gotten us lost.”

Jin pouted and huffed.

“I didn’t get us lost,” he sniffed with indignation. “The map was wrong.”

[wwekayfabequeen]

VICES - Jeff Hardy (PART THREE)

VICES - JEFF HARDY STORY PART 3

Jeff Hardy x OC

Disclaimer:  This story is an AU of its own. The WWE history is pretty much the same, but the personal lives of the characters/superstars are fictional. Canon Characters are based on real people with an emphasis on kayfabe storylines. The events in this story are completely imagined and do not reflect true events.  

Warning: Brief mentions of abuse and addictions.

Background/Recap: OC Ashlyn is a massage therapist/physical therapist working behind the scenes for WWE. Her world has turned upside down when one of her clients turns out to be the one and only Jeff Hardy. After a night of drinking together she begins to realize her mistakes from the night before.

Word Count: 1636

PART ONE PART TWO

___________

I woke up the next morning in a fog. My head throbbed as I rolled over in bed.  Luckily, I didn’t work that day. Instead, I’d be spending four hours in the car heading from Nashville to Atlanta. After a moment of getting my head together, I realized the events of the night before and sat up in bed abruptly. My eyes scanned the room but Jeff was gone. I sighed in relief and fell back into bed.  

After a couple minutes I rolled out and headed to the bathroom to get ready for the day. I could still taste the whiskey on my breath from the night before. I brushed my teeth, washed my face, and did my makeup. I tied my hair into a messy bun and slipped into some baggy sweatpants and a bralette with a loose tank top over it. I started packing up my suitcase and duffle bag. While packing my things up I heard a knock at the door. It was 10:30am and check out was at 11am. I guessed it was housekeeping.  

“Coming!” I yelled, stumbling over unpacked shoes. I opened the door to see Jeff standing there. “Oh- uh, hey.”

“Mornin,” he said with a slight smile. He held up a cup of coffee. “Thought you might need this.”

“Thanks, I was just packing up for check out if you wanted to come in...” I said looking down, taking the cup from him. I hoped he would turn down the invitation I extended. Part of me was dying inside from anxiety about the night before. I couldn’t remember all the details, but I remembered enough to feel like an idiot.  

“I actually was hoping I could ask you a favor,” he said rubbing the back of his neck. He took a step past me into the hotel room.  

I raised an eyebrow and asked, “and what would that be?”

“The guys left already so I kinda need a ride to Atlanta,” he said smoothly. I had a hunch that he was probably stretching the truth a little. What was he up to? It was a 4-hour trip I was definitely not ready for. I anticipated a long awkward silence.

“Well, I can’t just leave you here, so yeah, sure,” I said, walking back to my suitcase and throwing the remainder of my things into it. My duffle bag and my suitcase were full and weighed a ton. Luckily the company took care of the massage table and chair so I didn’t have to transport those with me in my Jeep. As I took one more sweep to make sure I didn’t forget anything, I grabbed my purse and reached for my other bags. Before I could, Jeff had already grabbed the duffle bag and slung it over his shoulder.  

“Nope, you ain’t carrying these, they weight more than you do.” Jeff joked. I blushed, suddenly remembering how he had to carry me to my bed the night before. I wondered how much he remembered, or how much I’d forgotten.  I smiled at his gesture.

“Oh, shit, I almost forgot,” I said, stepping into the bathroom. I grabbed his sweatshirt. “This belongs to you, don’t forget it next time.” My voice was teasing.

“If I don’t, then I’ll just need to find a new excuse to see ya again,” he said with a grin.

“What?” I asked with an eyebrow raised.  

“What?” He said, mimicking me and walking past me with a smile.

I rolled my eyes and followed him out.  We walked down to the lobby so I could check out and made out way to my car. I popped the back of the Jeep and Jeff put my bags in for me. We got in the car and I checked my phone. Of course, I had missed a couple texts from Megan, prying to get updates on the Jeff situation. I also had a missed call from my mom but I figured I’d call her back later. As I sat in the driver’s seat, I grabbed my sunglasses from the cupholder and replaced them with the coffee Jeff brought me.  

“Since you’re driving, I’ve got the radio,” he said, pulling out his phone to connect to the Bluetooth.  

“If you’re tagging along, you’re taking a turn driving you know,” I said with a smirk.  

“That’s fair,” Jeff said, putting a Pearl Jam song on.  

We got on the road and I couldn’t help but feel the tension. My head still ached and I had no words. I didn’t know what to say or what to talk about.  

“About last night,” Jeff finally said, “I’m sorry for coming on so strong. I didn’t mean for that kiss to happen; I just couldn’t help myself I guess...”

“It's all good,” I replied. “I am just as much to blame…”

“Do you remember what you said? About not wanting to be alone again?” He asked.  

“You didn’t miss your ride, did you?” I asked, looking straight ahead. I knew he wanted to talk.

“That’s not the point,” he said. “What did you mean last night?”

I sighed, gripping the steering wheel tight. “It’s a long story.”

“I think we’ve got the time,” he said, getsuring to the road in front of us, “unless you want this road trip to just be a four-hour concert featuring me.”  

“I’d take it,” I said. I let out a long sigh. “My life’s been a mess lately. A messy broken relationship resulting from an otherwise disastrous life altogether.”

“Ah,” Jeff said. “Do you wanna talk or should I start singin’?”

I let out huff and gripped the steering wheel harder. I stared ahead at the road and finally agreed to tell my story. Jeff shifted in his seat so that he was facing me a little better. I could feel his eyes on me as I became nervous. What was happening? I was about to tell one of my favorite superstars my life story, not to mention the fact that he actually wanted to hear it. I knew by this point I wouldn’t be able to see him as a client again, the transference and counter transference were way beyond professional by now.  

I told him about how I had met this guy in my hometown at the local bar. How he and I had gone to the same high school but never really knew each other. I told him how I fell hard and fast, but the guy was not who I thought he was. He was abusive, controlling, and addicted to heroin. I tried to save the guy from himself but it never worked. So, eventually, after the asshole had beaten me harder than ever after far too many second chances, I left him and pursued my real dream of being a sports massage therapist. Jeff was quiet and just let me tell my story. I never took my eyes off of the road because I was too nervous to see his expression despite knowing he was watching me the entire time. After I wrapped the story up it became quiet in the car. The dull hum of the nearly muted radio playing was all I heard for a few moments. I didn’t know what else to say and I felt stupid for sharing all that I did. I saw Jeff shift again out of the corner of my eye. He leaned over to place a hand on my knee and gently squeezed it, causing a shiver to run through me.  

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” he said softly. I finally glanced over to him, his expression was soft and almost sad. “You deserve way better than that.”

“I think I’m stronger for it, and while I’m not glad those things happened, I am glad they set me on the path I needed to be on,” I admitted.  

Jeff removed his hand and took his turn to look out the window. “I know what you mean.”

He went on to explain his story with his ex-wife. How she enabled his addiction to pain killers and how they once OD’d together. She promised they’d get clean together for years but it never happened. Eventually Jeff realized she was only lying and telling him what he wanted to hear. He realized if they kept going, one of them, or both, were going to end up dead and he didn’t want that. It had been years since he left her but she had been the love of his life. He wanted a family with her but she was never going to be ready for that.  

I was shocked to hear everything, the stories and all the things she said to him. It was my turn to be at a loss of words. He had done such a great job of hiding his personal life from the press that no one really knew the whole story about him. While he had been talking the gas-light had come on in the car so I pulled into a gas station and up to a pump.  

“Jeff, I can’t believe she pulled you along like that... I’m sure you know already, but you are worth way more than that kind of bullshit,” I said.

He took off his seatbelt and let out a small laugh and a wink. “Oh darlin, you say that without knowing me.”

Before I could say anything, he was out of the car. I protested as he began pumping the gas for me but he insisted so I went inside to pay and grab some snacks. When I returned to the Jeep, Jeff was sitting in the driver's seat. I raised an eyebrow as I opened the passenger door.

“I figured it was my turn to drive,” he said with a smirk.  

[isthatbloodonhisshirt]

hello, again!! 🥺 i was re-reading "the quickest way to a man's heart," and i was wondering if you'd share how you come up with stiles' idiosyncrasies, such as his strawberry allergy from the aforementioned story of yours as well as his type of colorblindness from "when the universe comes knocking" and his leg injury from "puzzle piece"?? 🥺 -flora

Hello again! o/ 

Oh man, that’s asking a lot of someone who has the memory of a goldfish LOL 

For Stiles’ strawberry allergy, I honestly don’t think I even gave it much thought. I think I just decided I wanted Derek to give him the scones and jam and as I was writing I just decided “Hey, maybe Stiles is allergic to the jam” and I ended up writing strawberry jam so I just made him allergic to strawberries. And then later in the fic when they go on their date I was writing about the coulis and legit ALMOST FORGOT he was allergic and then paused and had that evil Grinch grin on my face and started writing what ended up happening lol. At least I didn’t give him an allergic reaction (I’m not THAT mean, it would’ve ruined the date! |D). 

The colour-blindness from Universe I honestly don’t even remember why I did that. I know I added that in halfway through the fic (ie: it wasn’t written in until later) but I think it was because I really wanted Derek in glasses, and I figured if I gave them both something wrong with their eyes, it would be something for them to talk about when they got to know each other again. Originally Stiles deadass just wore a pink shirt to his interview because he’s a manly man and isn’t afraid to wear pink, but when I did the edits for the colour-blindness, I thought it would be funny if he didn’t even know what colour it was |D Because I’m a dick that way |D (I also knew someone in high school who was legit black-and-white colourblind and like with Stiles in the fic, he didn’t care that he hadn’t seen colour because he didn’t know what he was missing. He thankfully did not have asshole friends or siblings and thus didn’t end up at prom with like, a lime-green tux XD lol Though it WOULD have been funny....) 

For the leg injury in Puzzle Pieces, I needed Stiles to be stuck inside so he and Derek could become ~closer~ but I didn’t want him to have a broken leg because that would’ve made things complicated from a story-writing perspective (that story was honestly hard enough for my Ace ass to write as it was, so didn’t need to be making it harder). My uncle tore his ACL like, a decade ago, so I kiiiiind of had some knowledge on how that worked, and figured it would be easiest to write a mostly healed ACL tear as opposed to a kind of healed broken leg. Just one of those things that worked out. 

Idk how I decide on things sometimes, they just happen. Like Waiting being Derek sucking Stiles’ blood non-Vampirically and Actions being about Derek wordlessly yanking Stiles out of his Jeep -shrugs- I get a random idea and then it snowballs and turns into something crazy I no longer have any control of lol XD 

But thank you for asking, sorry if this doesn’t really answer your question ^_^;; <3<3<3<3<3<3

[javier-djarin]

Congratulations on 1000 followers babes u absolutely deserve it!!

Could we get 1 & 38 from the prompt list w javier peña please xx

Look What I Found

A Javier Peña One Shot

Ship: Javi x Reader

Rating: M

Word Count: 2,943 words

Warnings: Language, Alcohol, Drugs, Mild Violence, Soft!Javi

Masterlist

Summary: Since Javi is working late, you decide to go out with some friends for the evening. Little did you know that it would lead you right to the job Javi was working.

A/N: This was so fun to write! It honestly almost had a very sad dramatic story as opposed to this fun and cute one! I hope you enjoy it, Anon!! Thank you for the support and love!!! Spanish translations are at the bottom, and please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

Prompt 1: “You really shouldn’t be here.” Prompt 48: “I’m not carrying you to bed.” *carries them to bed*

You were wearing your tightest dress and highest heels when your friends stopped by to pick you up. Javi told you he was working late that night, and your original plan was to stay in and read a book. But when your co-workers refused to take no for an answer, you decided to dress up that night and go out with them. They were taking you down to a club in downtown Bogotá, which made you a little nervous. At least you were in a group. He had told you to avoid certain areas of Bogotá, because occasionally, Pablo’s people would frequent clubs in the area looking for more than just a quick deal. You knew if he found out where you were going, he’d be furious, but again - you weren’t going alone. 

You heard the blare of a horn just below your apartment building, signaling that your friends were anxiously waiting for you to get your ass out there. Grabbing your clutch, you slid out of your apartment and gracefully made your way down the stairs. Viv, your best friend down here, leaned out of the window and let out an obnoxious wolf whistle, drawing the attention of several people walking by. Your face burned and you glared at her. “Shut it, Viv!” you exclaimed, climbing in next to her. 

“I’m just saying,” she chuckled, bumping your shoulder. 

Juan, her brother who was driving, turned around and gave you a once over. “You sure you want to stay with that Javier?” he teased.

You rolled your eyes. “Aye, hermanito,” Viv whined, “just drive!”

He chuckled. Viv’s boyfriend, Carlos, was next to Juan and shaking his head. “No tienes oportunidad,” he chuckled.

Juan huffed and put the car in drive. Viv leaned against the opposite door and smiled at you. “So he has to work late, again?” she complained.

You nodded. “Yeah, but he did say he’d make it up to me tomorrow,” you devilishly grinned.

She squealed. You saw both of the guys shaking their heads at you, and your cheeks burned again. Javier had a reputation, though, and so there was no use trying to hide what he’d meant by that. He also wasn’t shy about just how intoxicating he found you. Never in a million years would you have thought that someone like him would ever find you attractive or loveable. You came with so much baggage that previous partners were too afraid to unpack. But, Javier? Something was different about him. It was like he understood the depth of your pain and trust issues. He took the time to unpack it all, and he loved you anyway. “Wipe that stupid grin off your face,” she laughed.

You glanced at her from the corner of your eyes. “Where are we going anyway?” you asked.

“Zona T,” Carlos replied.

You hid your smile. Javi was going to be so pissed at you. “Is everyone else meeting us there?”

Viv nodded. “Yeah, Mona had to run back to her apartment for something, so they all rode together.”

You felt a little more at ease knowing even more people were going to be in your group. It would be easier to disappear into the group and stay out of any danger, should the problems arise at the clubs. Juan parked the car just a block away, as parking down there on a Friday night was insane. Viv looped her arm through Carlos’s and you stuck next to Juan as you walked to the first club where you were meeting the rest of your co-workers. The club was packed to the walls and the music was loud. 

***

“Shit,” he mumbled to himself when he saw you walking into the club. “She said she was staying in tonight.”

“What is it?” Steve asked.

“Y/N is here. She’s with her co-workers.”

Steve’s eyes grew wide. “Um, does she know who is inside?”

Javi shot him an annoyed glance and grabbed the walkie talkie off the dash. “Espera mi señal. Tenemos un pequeño problema.”

“¿Qué pasa?” Carrillo asked over the radio.

“Nada. Espera.” He tossed the walkie on the dash. “Stay here.”

“Where are you going?”

Javier sighed and opened the door to his Jeep. “I’m dragging her out of there so she isn’t in the crossfire.”

Steve leaned across the seat and grabbed his arm, pulling back into the Jeep. “You’re going to blow our cover. The second they see you…”

He whipped his head back around and stared at his partner. “I don’t give a shit. I want her out of there before Carrillo goes in guns blazing. Did you forget about La Dispensaría?”

Steve cringed. He remembered that incident. An innocent woman was murdered in the process of them getting Poison, and he was certain those photographs were flashing through Javier’s mind. “I told her to avoid these areas, for this reason,” he muttered, staring at the door, “so, I’m going inside to get her before she’s another picture in the paper.”

He let go of Javier and nodded. “Take the radio at least,” he said, “in case you need back up.”

Javi chuckled and grabbed it, clipping it to his belt. “We will be back in a few.”

Steve shook his head, knowing they were about to cause a scene. You were too stubborn to just let him boss you around, and Javier was too bull headed to take no for an answer. 

***

You were on your second drink when Viv pulled you onto the dance floor. You quickly finished it and followed after her to dance to her favorite song. You both twisted and turned with your hands in the air as you let the rhythm of the music move through you. It’d been a while since you cut loose. Juan approached the two of you after the song ended with another drink. You smiled at him as a thank you and sipped away.  You were leaning against the bar when you felt a hand on your shoulder and someone whisper into your ear, “You really shouldn’t be here.”

You sighed and spun around to look at him, drink in hand with a large grin. You leaned forward and gave him a chaste kiss. “I’m here with a group at least,” you replied, with a smile. 

He rested his hand on your waist, holding you close to him. “No, all of you need to get out of here.”

You turned around and grinned at Viv, who was leaning up against the bar next to Carlos. You gave her a wink and turned back to Javi. “We’re fine,” you replied, taking a long drink from your cup. 

He frowned at her and took the almost empty glass from her hand. “Hermosa,” he cautioned, “I’m serious. It’s too dangerous for you to be here.”

“Peña, do you copy?” the radio buzzed.

He growled. “¡Espera!” He exclaimed into the other end.

“Javi,” you said, resting your hands on his chest.

He grabbed your wrists and held them down at your sides. “You said you were staying in tonight. What happened to that plan?” He said, the worry lines on his forehead growing.

“Viv convinced me to go out for a little while, since you were working late,” you smiled, trying to ease him.

Javier let out a deep breath and looked at her friends behind her. “How much have you had to drink?”

You shrugged. “I think this is my third or fourth.”

He groaned and held the button down on his radio. “Estoy en el club y lo buscaré.”

“Esperaremos tu señal,” Carrillo replied.

“Tell Y/N hi for me,” you heard Steve add.

You chuckled at the annoyed look on Javi’s face as he glared from the radio to you. You reached forward and pressed the button. “Hi, Steve.”

Javier moved his hand and put his radio back on his belt. “Do you know why I’m here?”

The thought dawned on you. He was here for work, and suddenly an icy chill washed over you. The very reason Javi warned you to avoid this area was the very reason why he was there. You looked into his eyes, scared. He gave you a knowing, almost an “I told you so” look. Your friends had no idea what Javier did for a living, and telling them it was time to leave was going to be hard without exposing him.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled.

He couldn’t hear you over the loud club music, but he knew. He pulled you even closer and whispered low in your ear. “You will stay by me all night. The second shit hits the fan, I want you out of here.”

You nodded, trying to calm yourself, telling yourself that Javi was there and nothing bad was going to happen to you. Picking up your drink, you finished it and Viv ordered both of you another. Javi kept his arm around you all night. Occasionally, he would dance with you, but you watched his eyes survey the room, looking for his target. When you walked back to the bar, he was close behind you. “Hermosa,” he chuckled, looking down at you, “another one?”

You gave him a sloppy grin. “It’s helping with my nerves, so yeah.” You took a drink.

He leaned against the bar next to you. You could see him relax a little, which he couldn’t help but do when he was with you. You started to see the boyish charm come out before his eyes raked over your body. His gaze turned hungry as it stopped at the deep v in the front that allowed him to peer almost clear down your dress. He raised his eyebrow devilishly and grinned. “You sure you don’t want to leave now?” he growled.

“Ojos arriba, Peña,” you ordered, and he begrudgingly obeyed. “I’may be a little tipsy,” you slurred, and then immediately forgot the point you were trying to make.

He chuckled. “A little?”

Viv came up behind you and slung her arm around your shoulder. “There you are!” she said loudly in your ear.

He tensed and went back to surveying the room. She planted a sloppy kiss on your cheek and hugged you. “I thought you two left.” She looked at Javi and then leaned in to loudly whisper, “Not that I wouldn’t blame you.”

Javi hid his grin well but rolled his eyes. “Where’s Carlos?” he asked.

She looked behind her and saw him standing next to Juan. Mona approached them with something in her hand, and you saw Javi tense even more. His hand was suddenly on his radio. Javi watched Carlos take the bag from her and walk over to them with it. He gave him a look, glancing at Viv and you before looking back at Javi. “You can get some of this over there,” he nodded towards a small secluded booth near the bathrooms. 

Javi grabbed the bag from him and nodded. “I think it’s time we find another club,” he added.

Carlos motioned for Juan to get the others. Viv, oblivious to what transpired, protested the whole time as he dragged her out of the front door. Javi pulled you close to him and grabbed his radio. “Él está aquí.”

“Copy,” Steve and Carrillo replied. 

“Movámonos,” Carrillo added.

Javi held on to you with a tight grip as he calmly walked towards the entrance as his men got into position. You saw Carlos taking Viv and the rest of the crew farther down the block to a different club as Javi dragged you over to the Jeep Steve had been sitting in across the street. When he saw the two of you, he shook his head and laughed. Javi opened the back door for you to slide into. You laid down across the back seat, sleepy from the drinks in your system. Javi grabbed his tactical vest from the floor and slid it on. God, how you loved him in that vest. You weren’t sure what it was, maybe it was the way it clung to his body. He saw you bite your lip as you gazed ravenously at him. “Not now, Hermosa,” he replied calmly.

You both heard Steve stifle a gag. Javi rolled his eyes. “Keep her in the car,” he ordered.

“Where the hell are you going?”

Javi glared at him. “I’m back-up.”

“Our orders were to stay behind and let Search Bloc do their thing,” Steve argued.

“I know,” he mumbled, “but Carrillo asked for the support. So, keep her here. I’ll be right back.”

The alcohol started rushing to your head. You wanted to sit up and argue with him, force him to stay, but you knew that you were now useless in that situation. You closed your eyes, feeling the Jeep start to spin. If you stayed calm, maybe, just maybe you wouldn’t throw up. You focused on your breathing as you laid on your side with your eyes closed. You heard shots coming from the area, and you jumped at each one, praying Javi wasn’t on the receiving end. Hours seemed to have passed until Javi rejoined you back in the Jeep. “They got the fucker,” he said, tossing his vest behind his seat on the floor. 

You felt his hand rest on your head. “Are you okay, Hermosa?”

You glanced up at him with a drunken smile. “Si, mi amor.”

A grin crept across his face as he kissed your temple before climbing into the front seat. You could hear them talking about the mission, but you were in and out of a very drowsy stage as you fought off sleep. Steve mumbled something about Carrillo, and Javi told him to shut up. Soon, you had fallen asleep and didn’t wake again until you felt a hand brush the hair off your cheek. “Time to wake up,” he chuckled. Steve had already gotten out of the car, leaving the two of you alone.

You groaned and turned over. “Hermosa,” Javi said, “I’m not carrying you to bed.”

You smiled and now became determined to stay asleep so he had to carry you. You could tell he was standing there watching you sleep peacefully in the backseat. “I will leave you out here.”

No, he won’t. You thought. 

Just as predictable as ever, you felt arms around you, pulling you out of the Jeep and holding you against his chest. You tossed your arms around his neck and rested your head against him, breathing in the intoxicating scent that was Javier Peña. You could hear his heart beating fast as his hands gently cradled you. He walked up the stairs to the apartment complex door; he’d taken you back to his apartment, which you were grateful for. His bed was ten times more comfortable than yours. “If I didn’t love you so much,” he muttered as he slid past Steve, who had been waiting with the door open, “I would have left your ass in the Jeep.”

You smiled and looked up into his eyes. “You have the most beautiful eyes, mi amor,” you murmured against his lips.

He stopped just on the other side of the door and grinned at you. Steve gagged again and moved past the two of you. “Unless you want me to drop you,” Javi added, “you’ll let me at least make it to my apartment.”

You gave him a soft kiss and then rested your head on his shoulder. He held you tight as he tried to unlock his apartment door. Somehow, he managed. He carried you into the apartment and gently set you on his bed. He slid your heels off and helped you out of your dress before you curled up in his soft sheets. He soon joined you, after giving you some Tylenol and a glass of water. You felt his arms pull you against his bare chest, and soon you felt safe and comfortable. “Thank you,” you mumbled.

He kissed the back of your neck. “For what?” he whispered.

You rolled over to look at him, resting your hand on his cheek. “I’ve never had someone who cared about me as much as you do.”

He sighed and gently leaned down to kiss you again, this time more passionately. “I love you, Hermosa,” he breathed against your lips, “and I’d do anything for you. Even carry your drunk ass to bed.”

You chuckled and rolled back over so he could hold you close. You felt safe in his arms, loved even. Even after the two years you’d spent together, you still had a hard time believing that he loved you. Especially on days when you would ignore his warnings and get yourself into situations like you did tonight. You chuckled to yourself as you pictured his initial reaction. He was your favorite grumpy DEA agent, and you wouldn’t trade him for anything in the whole world. “What’s so funny?” he mumbled, half asleep.

You ran your hand over his. “You still love me even though I drive you crazy.”

He lovingly squeezed her. “More like completely insane, on a good day.”

You moved against him to get more comfortable, finally feeling at home in his bed. It had been a while since you thought about the other women that had the opportunity to lay in this exact spot. It used to bother you when you thought about the amount, but now you knew he was completely wrapped around your finger. He would do anything for you, and you for him. Somehow you found each other when you both needed it the most, and neither of you wanted to risk ever losing what you had. 

Translations

No tienes oportunidad - You don’t have a chance.

Espera mi señal. Tenemos un pequeño problema. - Wait for my signal. We have a small problem.

¿Qué pasa? - What happened?

Nada. Espera. - Nothing. Wait.

Estoy en el club y lo buscaré. - I’m in the club and I’ll look for him.

Esperaremos tu señal. - We will wait for you signal.

Ojos arriba. - Eyes up.

Él está aquí. - He’s here.

Movámonos. - Let’s move.

Taglist

@larakasser @magneticbucky @wickedfrsgrl @wander-lustbabe @pedropascalownsmyheart @frietiemeloen @fioccodineveautunnale @mrscrain-x7 ​ @alldatalost ​ @carringtonhill @enamoured-x @readsalot73​

[sehunniepotwrites]

there’s no place like you | l.jn

part of the Walking in a Winter Wonderland collaboration by @suh-insane and @neocitybynight

🎄 SYNOPSIS — a story of falling in love with lee jeno throughout four seasons and finding a home in him through it all 🎄 GENRE — slight angst, fluff 🎄 PAIRING — model!jeno x makeup artist!reader 🎄 WORD COUNT — 3.1k 🎄 PLAYLIST — no place by the backstreet boys; the perfect gift by joshua bassett

🎄 PROMPTS — “Maybe Christmas, he thought, doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas…perhaps means a little bit more!” - How the Grinch Stole Christmas // “You are my home, my home for all seasons.” - Sia (Snowman)

You met Lee Jeno at the dead-end of last winter when spring was just around the corner. He was a stranger to you then but your friendship bloomed much like flowers during the season. 

He was a fresh face in the modeling scene and you were a makeup artist who worked closely with his modeling agency when it came to shoots. You met Jeno through a mutual friend, Na Jaemin, one of the regular models you worked with. Jeno, still new to the scene, wasn’t really one to talk much and so unbelievably shy until he was under the lights and in front of the lens.

“This is Jeno,” you remembered Jaemin introducing him when they first came into your mirror. Jeno offered his hand to you and you took it. 

He gave your hand a gentle shake before muttering, “It’s nice to meet you.”

“The pleasure is all mine,” you smiled back. You saw his eyes glisten at your reply and you felt a weird rush take over your body.

You were ogling the newcomer during his first shoot and Jaemin caught you red handed. It was the first time someone had caught your eye after your last relationship ended. According to his friend, Jeno had recently gotten out of a relationship, too. The model teased you about Jeno endlessly but you couldn’t help but stare— under the flashing lights, Jeno was a natural. 

Charismatic.

Beautiful.

And when he smiled so kindly at you, you just knew that Jeno was going to be someone special.

You dated in the summer when the sun was hot and Jeno radiated nothing but a comforting warmth.

After that first meeting, you exchanged numbers and something just clicked. Texts were exchanged and then they transitioned into phone calls and facetime sessions that lasted for hours. If you weren’t on the phone with him, then you were spending time with Jeno in person: beautifying him before his photoshoots, touching up his makeup during his short breaks, and grabbing food with him after the shoot was over.

Jeno was easy to hang out with. Even when you were far apart in a room, you would eventually gravitate towards each other. 

Jaemin, being the observant person he was, noticed it first and pushed Jeno to ask you out; surprisingly, Jeno listened to his nosy best friend. Although he did it in the simplest way possible, it still tugged on your heartstrings just the same. 

Jeno took you out right before sunset on a summer’s evening in his Jeep. He didn’t tell you much, he just asked you to dress comfortably and you did it without question. It was a bit of a drive, your car heading to the outskirts of the city, which piqued your curiosity. He refused to say a thing but you figured it out once the entrance to a drive-in theatre came in sight.

Squealing with joy, you turned in the passenger seat to grasp Jeno’s arm that rested against his Jeep’s center console. “You’re taking me to a drive-in? I’ve always wanted to go to one!”

“I know,” he chuckles fondly, sneaking a glance at your glowing face. “Jaemin told me it was your dream date.”

“He did?” you asked, your cheeks heating up. “Did Nana tell you anything else?”

“He may or may not have told me to man up and ask you out since we practically go out on dates anyway,” Jeno answered a bit shyly. The conversation took a pause as he drove up to the ticket booth. He pushed your card away when you tried to pay for your share and purchased the tickets before slipping the pieces of paper in between his lips.

The sight was nothing extraordinary-- just a boy in a sleeveless hoodie with a ticket caught in between his teeth but it sent your heart racing.  

“So is this your way of asking me out on a date? By casually sliding us into my dream date spot,” you probed. 

“No,” Jeno laughed as he placed his car into park and your heart dropped for a second before he continued his sentence, “I was actually going to ask you to be my girlfriend after I set everything up in the back.”

“Oh,” you replied. 

He rubbed the back of his neck, facing you with the cutest look you have ever seen grace his features. His eyes were much like one of a puppy’s and there was a pink flush creeping up his cheeks. “It’s not set up yet but not everything goes to plan, I guess,” he started to stay.

You giggled, not believing any of this was happening. Jeno grabbed hold of your hands, his touch oh so gentle but the action made your weak heart skyrocket to the moon. “Will you be my girlfriend?” 

“I thought you’d never ask,” you grinned and he wasted no time, seeing as you wasted so much teetering around the label, in kissing you. Jeno leaned over the center console to press his lips lightly against yours and you can’t help but smile into it. 

Your first date and official day as a couple was spent cuddling on top of blankets and pillows in the extended trunk of his car, enjoying a movie under the stars. The summer breeze lingered in the air but that was alright; you had a cozy and warm Jeno to snuggle up to.

You truly fell for him in autumn, just like the leaves that trickled down from the many branches. 

You and Jeno were out for a walk in the park. One of his hands held on tightly to a dog leash and the other was clasped onto yours. His beloved companion and cute Samoyed, Max, trotted ahead with his paws lightly hitting the ground.

A simple yet perfect date with your newfound family— it was something you always dreamed of having. 

Max started tugging on his leash, trying to run ahead towards something, and his weight dragged Jeno forward. Your boyfriend let go of your hand to tame his dog but laughed when he saw what Max was aiming for.

You watched fondly as he leaned down with a smile to let Max free of his leash. Jeno quickly nuzzled his face into his fur, “Go ahead, bud.” 

At those words, Max ran straight towards a neat pile of leaves before leaping into it. You giggled at the dog’s delight and your laughter grew tenfold when its owner shortly followed.

“Oh my god, Jeno, what are you doing?” you laughed. 

“Jumping into a pile of leaves, what else does it look like?” he replied, yelling over his shoulder before diving into the pile. Max yelped with joy as his owner joined him, rolling around in the leaves before Jeno began to scratch his belly. 

“You’re ridiculous!”

“No, you just don’t know how to have fun!” Jeno countered with a teasing scrunch of the nose. “Isn’t that right, boy?” Max let out a little bark and you couldn’t help but take a few pictures of the moment.

He looked so happy in the photos and so effortlessly handsome— it was really no wonder why he chose modeling as his career. 

“Stop taking pictures and join us!” Jeno waved you over. You shook your head to disagree and he shot you a playful glare. He whispered a command to Max while giving his companion an abundance of pats. 

“Go!” Max, with leaves clinging onto his milky white fur, bolted straight towards you until his head was butting on your legs. The force of his actions slowly inched you towards the leaves and you giggled at the disastrous duo you adored so much. 

“Okay, okay, I’ll go, Max! Stop,” you bent down to shower Max with pets. The samoyed just let out little noises of happiness as you ran your hands over his fur, focusing on his favorite spots. 

“I’ll race you, Maxie, how ‘bout that?” you tell the dog as Jeno affectionately watched the scene. He barked back as you counted down to one. Bubbles of laughter left your mouth as you ran after your dog and into the giant pile. 

Leaves rained down on you as you landed face-first into the now scattered heap, Jeno’s arms immediately wrapping around your body. He chuckled as you grinned up at him, Jeno’s eyes curled up in the crescents you loved to see. “See, it wasn’t that bad? All you had to do was take the leap.”

And take the leap you did.

“I love you,” you said suddenly. 

His chuckles halted and he blinked down at you. “What did you say?”

“I love you,” you repeated, voice a little louder.

Jeno bit down on his bottom lip, trying to hide his smile from escaping. He couldn’t hide it from you for long, though. His grin was so wide, almost bursting at the seams as he looked down at you with such adoration. There was this tenderness taking over your body and soul as he stared at you, you never wanted it to leave. 

“I love you, too.” And for the first time, Jeno’s words felt like home. 

It was supposed to be your first winter with Jeno. In some ways, it was. 

You moved into a one-bedroom apartment together after having a serious discussion about your relationship. You shared space and co-parented an extremely affectionate dog and you thought nothing could ever tear that happiness away from you.

That was where you were wrong. 

As Jeno booked more shoots, his popularity grew. With rising popularity came a more demanding career. Even when living with him, you barely saw Jeno— he was constantly in and out of the house for a shoot. There were times you almost forgot what he looked and sounded like. With the time apart, all you wanted to do was spend your first Christmas together. That was all you asked for. Just one holiday would be enough but that didn’t go according to plan.

“Jeno, you promised you would be home for Christmas! I barely see you anymore as is!”

“I know, babe, I know but I can’t pass up the opportunity to work with John Suh!” he argued back. “It’s John Suh!”

Yes, the world-renowned photographer, John Suh. That would be an amazing opportunity but there was just one problem with that collaboration.

“But John Suh is located in America,” you replied with a frown. 

“It sounds like you’re not happy for me,” Jeno pressed.

“No, it’s not that. I am happy for you but you promised.”

“This will be so good for me, for us. I’ll be back before you know it,” he grabbed hold of your hands, pressing them tightly to reassure you, “and I’ll make it up to you, I promise!”

You tore your hands away from his grip with a glare and he stared back at you with hurt. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, Jen.”

He broke so many promises before. Why would this time be different?

“Don’t be like that,” he said, disappointment taking over his features. “Why are you acting like this?”

“Because the only time Max and I see you now is when you’re going to sleep and getting ready to go to work! We’re your family and you barely have time for us anymore,” you hissed back. “This was the one thing I asked of you and you can’t even do that. You know how hard the holidays are for me.”

It was true; the holidays were difficult. Your parents died while you were young during the usually merry season and the hurt of being left alone still hurt you. On top of that, every romantic relationship you entered ended during the wintertime and it only added to the pain.

“But—” Jeno tried to retort.

“No, you know what?” you muttered as Jeno looked at you desperately. “Just go.”

“No—”

“No, Jen,” you swallowed down a cry that was building in your throat. “Just, just go.”

And in a flurry of anger, Jeno did, leaving you alone for the week of Christmas.

You drowned your apartment with Christmas decor to fill the void. Tinsel was pinned onto the walls and handmade snowflakes were strung from your ceiling. You bought a fake tree and dressed it with dainty white lights and colorful ornaments. It was filled to the brim, your living space now a winter wonderland, and yet, it still felt empty. 

Even with Max by your side, you felt hollow as if something was missing. He was missing. 

On Christmas morning, you woke up with an empty bed and your frown dug deeper into your face. You felt your sense of loneliness hit you and you stared blankly at your pictures with Jeno, wishing he would come back to you.

You were so terribly lonely and your seasonal depression was hitting you at an all-time high. 

The place you called home didn’t feel like a home at all without him there. So much for being home for the holidays.

“Max?” you called, noticing he wasn’t on his side of the bed. It was actually Jeno’s side but he wasn’t there so Max claimed it until he came back...if he came back. You weren’t so sure he would after that last argument. 

You heard your dog yelping out of excitement from the living room, which was pretty unusual for him. 

“Maxie?” you called for him again but he didn’t answer, too preoccupied with whatever he found in the living room. Did he finally find that bone you hid for him?

You heard footsteps against your hardwood floors and you froze. Was someone here?

The pounding against the floor grew louder and louder, your heartbeat matching its timing as you gripped onto your blanket. A familiar head popped out from behind the door frame, a shy and worried smile taking over his face. Max fought his way in between his legs, his head also peeping into your room and suddenly, an overwhelming feeling took over your body.

“Jeno,” you whispered.

“Hi, love,” he greeted back, slowly making his way over to you. Jeno took a seat at the end of your bed and you used that time to take him in. His appearance looked so ragged compared to his usual self.

His black hair was a mess, strands sticking up in all directions, and there were designer bags under his eyes. Wrinkled clothes dressed his body while his cheeks were sunken in as he smiled helplessly at you. 

“You— what are you doing here?”

“I shouldn’t have left,” he explained with a frown. “I know the holidays are such a difficult time for you and I just added onto it, like a shitty person.”

You reached out to him, interlocking your fingers with his. You immediately felt better at the touch. “No, I know how much an opportunity like that means to you. I shouldn’t hold you back.”

Jeno lifted your knuckles to his lips, pressing a light kiss on them. “Let’s say we were both in the wrong and call it a day, okay?”

“Okay,” you chuckled as he placed another kiss on your hand. 

Jeno used his other hand to reach into his pocket to pull a small box out of his pocket. He pushed it towards you, gesturing for you to take it.

“What’s this?” You hesitated to take it but he easily shoved it into your hold. 

“A present for you, dummy,” he replied. 

“I didn’t get you anything,” you murmured. 

He shook his head, “That’s okay.”

You gently opened the box to find a heart-shaped pendant. It was old and a little tattered but beautiful just the same. “Oh,” was all you could say as you ran your thumb over the surface. 

“It’s a locket,” Jeno whispered before urging you to open it. “Found it in an antique shop while I was abroad.”

You grinned. You always had a thing for antiques. 

You pressed on the tiny clasp you found on the side and inside was a tiny picture of you, Jeno, and Max from that autumn day in the park. “Oh my god, Jeno.”

Looking up at him, you see his face dusted with a rosy shade of pink. His thumb rubbed against your free hand as Jeno abashedly smiled at you. “While I was gone, I was stressing over getting you the perfect gift to make up for everything. It’s not much, I’m sorry this was all I could think of,” Jeno said. 

You didn’t care about the monetary gifts.  You didn’t care about them at all. All you cared about was him. “That doesn’t matter— all I wanted for Christmas was to be home.” 

He shot you a confused look and tilted his head. Your boyfriend looked so similar to your pet samoyed at that moment, you had to hold back a laugh. “But you are home, I was the one that left.”

You scooted closer to him on the bed, wrapping your arms around his middle. You immediately relaxed as his arms returned the hug, pressing your closer to his body. Snuggling into the crook of his neck, you said, “But this place isn’t home without you. when I’m with you, I’m home.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Jeno said. 

He lied. It did make sense. It made perfect sense but he just couldn’t believe it.

“Of course it does,” you grinned back at him, taking hold of his cheek. Jeno radiated a warmth that you missed so dearly into your freezing hand. “Home stopped being a place when you entered my life.”

You pressed a kiss on his shoulder, “There’s no place like you, Lee Jeno.”

The brightest smile broke out on his face, making him shine like the stars you used to wish upon. You swore you saw golden specks in the brown of his irises. Jeno beamed like a brilliant light, eyes scrunching up so lovingly before putting his forehead to yours. He nuzzled his nose with yours before whispering an affirmation of love against your lips and the feeling sent shivers down your spine. 

You closed the distance, connecting your lips with his and there it was again: that comforting blanket, that safe haven that you missed so dearly. 

You were embraced by his love and that feeling of home. 

“Merry Christmas, babe,” he murmured, still not parting from your lips.

Merry Christmas. Welcome home.

🎄  author’s note—here’s my fluffy holiday fic! this was such a fun write, if only i could write holdiay fics all year round huhuhhu please tell me what you think and be sure to check out the other fics in the collab!

🎄 taglist — @notnctu

[madddddy]

From The Ground Up:

Buck POV:

I don't know what to do. I already apologized to the 118, especially Cap, but they still treat me like shit. It's been 8 months since the lawsuit and I haven't gone out on a call once. I know if I told Maddie or my parents, they would tell me to "go home". I'm starting to think that may be the best thing for me. At least my family knows I'm not on blood thinners anymore. Sitting at home, nursing a beer, I made my decision. I'm going home.

The next day I call up the fire chief and ask if I can get an appointment for that day. They are thankfully able to get me in at 1. I glance at the clock seeing that it's 10am. I text Maddie to have her come over. She lets herself in with her key and I get up to hug her.

"Hey Mads"

"Hey Evan. So why did you want to talk to me?"

"I think I'm going to go home. Its been 8 months and I haven't been out on a call once. I have an appointment with the chief at 1 today. I don't want this to affect your relationship with Chim. He has actually been one of the only ones who has talked to me. Him and Hen have been friends, but Cap and Eddie. They just glare or say things to my face that I just can't take anymore. I'm gonna surprise dad, but I'll call Kelly, Matt, and Boden to let them know. I'll miss you but you know where I'll be."

I look at Maddie to see her with tears in her eyes but she looks understanding. She nods and says,

"I understand Evan. You need a "new" start. I will miss you but I'm glad Chim and Hen have been there for you. I'll help you pack once you get back from the chief since I have today off. I can call Hen and Chim to see if they'll help too, but they probably will anyway."

I nod and get up. She stands up and we hug for what seems like hours, but its only 5 minutes. When we separate, she takes my hand into hers and drags me towards the door.

"Mads what are you doing?" I ask amused.

"We are going out to get breakfast at our favorite diner, then we are picking up Chim and Hen, then coming back here so you can type up your resignation and us three can start packing as you go talk to the chief. After your meeting, you will call Kelly, Matt, and Boden like you said"

I just nod and get my shoes on. We get out to the car and decide on driving my Jeep. Maggie's diner is about 10 minutes away from my loft, so it doesn't take long to get there. The hostess sees us and smiles since we are regulars here and she shows us to "our table". Patti, our favorite waitress comes to our table and smiles when she sees us.

"Well look what the cat dragged in! The Buckley siblings! Y'all want your regular?"

We both nod and Patti winks at us and walks away. Maddie looks at me pointedly so I take that as a point to start thinking of what I should say in my resignation. As if reading my mind, she pulls out a pad of paper and pencil. I start writing and once I do I just keep writing and I don't even realize our food is here until it gets set in front of me. We eat, pay and then head out. Maddie calls Chim and Hen and they agree to head over to the loft, even if they are a bit confused.

"Hey buckaroo!" Hen greets when I open the door for her and Chim. I hug them both and let them in. They already know most about what is going on at the firehouse, so they aren't super surprised when I say I am leaving. I tell them I'm planning on going home to Chicago, as soon as possible. Maddie looks at the time and tells me to get going so I'm not late to the meeting, and that them three will get packing. I thank them and head out.

45 minutes later I'm walking into the fire chief's office.

"Firefighter Buckley" Chief Torres greets and I shake his hand.

"Thank you for seeing me today Chief Torres. I am here because I would like to transfer stations. Specifically to firehouse 51 in Chicago. As for why, things at the 118 have not been good. Captain Nash and Firefighter Diaz have been holding personal vendettas against me because of my lawsuit from 8 months ago. Firefighters Han and Wilson have been the only ones from the firehouse treating me like a human. They don't participate in the jibes towards me and they still talk to me. They don't deserve to be punished, but Nash and Diaz should be. They shouldn't be fired, but maybe suspended. But I will leave that up to you. I came from Chicago and I started at the 51. I made a family there and I would love to return to it."

The chief sits there for a few before nodding and pulling out transfer papers. He signs them and then stands up.

"I hate to lose a good firefighter, but I feel after what you said, I will be looking into Nash and Diaz. Have a good life in Chicago Buckley."

I stand up and shake his hand. I take the papers and walk out to my Jeep. I call Maddie to let her know I'm on my way back. When I get back to my place, I'm surprised at how much they had gotten packed up, but then again, I didn't have much. We call a moving company and book them for the next day. Next I call the men that have become my older brothers in all but blood, Matt Casey and Kelly Severide.

*Ring ring ring*

Matt: "Hey Ev! What's up?"

Buck: "Hey Matty, can you grab Kel and see if Boden is free? If he isn't just go somewhere private. I need to talk to you all."

Matt: "Sure. Is everything alright?"

Buck: "Yeah nothing bad. Just got something to talk to you about."

Matt: "Okay Ev, I have all of us in Boden's office with the door shut."

Buck: "Okay. So I just want to say this all at once so please don't interrupt me and ask questions at the end. Things here have not been good since the lawsuit. Chim and Hen have been good but Diaz and Nash have been cold and distancing me. I am hoping that I can be transfered back home. I have the papers ready, just need a spot. And before you ask, yes Maddie is okay with it. And no I haven't talked to dad, I wanna surprise both my parents. So what do you say Boden, you want another Herrmann on your team?"

Boden: "Okay Buck, I think we can make room here at 51 for you. I told you when you left there would always be a spot for you and I meant it. I would love for you to come back here. What do you think boys?"

Kelly: "Well Cub, I wish you came to us about the 2, I understand why you didn't. I want you to come home too and Matt here is agreeing with me. You want us to pick you up from the airport when you land?"

Buck: "That would be great. Can I stay with you guys? Until I find a place? That or I'll stay with my parents. I should be out there tomorrow late afternoon. I'll text you to let you know for sure"

Matt: "Sounds good Buck. Can't wait to see you. And don't worry, we won't tell your dad."

Buck: "Okay I'll see you guys tomorrow. Love you!"

All three: "Love you!"

*Click*

I want back into the living room where the three are sitting.

"Hey Mads, Chim, Hen. Boden told me I have a spot there and Matty and Kel said they'll pick me up from the airport. You said you booked one right?"

She nods, "yeah I did Evan. I'm glad Matt and Kelly will pick you up. I like that you are surprising mom and dad. Are you gonna stay there or with the boys?"

"I'm not sure yet. The boys said I can stay with them but if mom and dad want me to stay with them, I will"

"Not to interrupt this, but who are Boden, Kelly, and Matt?" Hen asks.

"Oh right! I forgot you guys don't know our friends and family from Chicago! So I was adopted after Evan wasn't able to save our older brother with a bone marrow transplant. He got adopted by Christopher and Cindy Herrmann in Chicago. He grew up there, became a firefighter like our dad and his godfather Mouch. He moved here and worked at the 118, as you know. When I moved here and started dating you Chim, I was able to reconnect with him, since I recognized his birthmark. We talked and cried. I told him how I was disowned by our birth parents because I am bi and he introduced me to our parents. They immediately unofficially adopted me into their family and so I call them mom and dad. Kelly and Matt are other firefighters at 51 and they all went to the academy together and became like brothers. Kelly and Matt are married." Maddie explained. I'm nodding along.

"Yep. Mom and dad treat Maddie like their own and I want to go home to Chicago because personally, it's toxic here for me. You guys are great and I love you but Eddie and Bobby are the worst right now. I know you stand up for me and I appreciate it a lot but I just need my original family. I'll keep in touch of course and I'll miss you but you are always willing to visit me in Chicago." I added on.

Chim and Hen nodded and got up to give me a hug.

The next hours fly by and the next thing I know, I'm landing in O'Hare airport. I see the men who are like my older brothers and run to give them each a hug.

"Hey Ev! How have you been?"

"I've been better but I'm do happy to be here." It's slightly muffled because I'm in the middle of hugging them. I pull back the they see my tears on my face and each wipe them off my face. I smile at them softly and they smile back.

"Hey Cub." Kelly says softly.

"Hi" I reply just as softly.

"Let's get out of here eh?" Matt asks.

I just nod and they each flank one of my sides whole carrying my duffle. The rest of my stuff is in the moving truck. We walk out to Matt's truck. I climb in and we take off to the 51. We stay in comfortable silence with me just watching the city go by. We get there 20 of so minutes later but it seems shorter than that. We get out and the go to each of my sides again. They have always been taller than me and I say I hate it but I secretly love it. I see my dad talking to my uncle Mouch in the break room. Sylvie Brett is the first one to see me and she gasps loudly making everyone turn toward me.

"SURPRISE!" I shout shocking them out of their frozen states.

Next thing I know I am tackled by my dad and godfather. Boden is secretly recording this for everyone.

"What the hell are you doing here?!" My dad and godfather ask at the same time.

"Well it's a long story which I will tell over drinks at Molly's tonight, but pretty much, things got crappy at 118, and I wanted to come home. Don't worry dad, Mads was the one to talk me into it. And only Diaz and Nash were the ones who were bad. Hen and Chim have been good." He just nods and they both step back so everyone else can hug me. The girls are next, Shay, Stella, and Sylvie come running up next hugging me super tight, but I'm hugging back just as tight. I hug everyone else except for 2 people I don't recognize. I turn to my dad questionably.

"Ah right. Evan, these are Darren Ritter and Blake Gallo. They are new to the house." I shake their hands and for some reason I get butterflies shaking Gallo's hand. I think the girls sensed something because they gave me knowing looks. I gave them 'the look' back.

"Hi, I'm Evan Buckley-Herrmann. I used to go by Buck but I think I'm gonna start going by Evan again." I smile at them. They smile back and shake my hand.

"Hi Evan, I'm Darren Ritter. I've been here for about a year."

"Hi, I'm Blake Gallo and I've been here about 5 or so months"

I smile and nod to each of them. When Gallo smiles back all I can think of is damn his smile is cute. Fuck I'm so gone on him and I just met him.

"Oh dad! I didn't tell mom either so I think I'll stay here until shift is done and then we can stop by home, pick her up and we'll all go to Molly's and meet up with the crew from Med and Intelligence?"

"Sounds good Ev. You wanna borrow some turnout gear and go with? If that's okay of course." He asked the last part directed towards Boden. Boden nods and so I agree pretty quickly. Almost as if it knows, the alarm goes off.

*Time skip to end of shift because I cannot write fire scenes for shit*

Dad and I walk out of the firehouse at the end of shift and get in his car. After about 5 minutes he speaks up,

"So what was that with Gallo?"

Shit. Play dumb.

"What do you mean?"

Good, good.

"Look, I know what flirting looks like, son. And I know you are gay since you came out to us in high school. I'm also not dumb, so I'll ask again, what was that with Gallo?"

I sigh. He always knows how to read me.

"He is cute, and I think I might be getting a crush on him, but it's nothing and he is most likely straight anyways."

"Well, I'm glad you told me, and I think you may have a better chance than you think."

And with that we pull into the driveway of my childhood home. We get out of the car and dad goes in first. I hear him say to mom,

"Hey honey, I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes"

After a few seconds he comes out and beckons me inside. I walk up and say,

"Hey mom."

She opens her eyes and shrieks when she sees me. She runs up to me and hugs me as tight as she can and I hug her back just as tight. Dad comes up to us and hugs us too. After a few we reluctantly separated.

"So what are you doing here?" She asks as she wipes the tears off her face. I tell her what I told dad and she nods and goes to get ready to go to Molly's. Dad and I do the same.

We get to Molly's and I'm bombarded by hugs again from my friends from Med and Intelligence. I am friends with Jay and Will Halstead, Mouse Gerwitz, Antonio Dawson, Hailey Upton, Adam Ruzek, Kim Burgess, Alvin Oilinsky, not Voight because of reasons, Kevin Atwater, Trudy Platt, Ethan Choi (he's not a dick here), Crockett Marcel, Natalie Manning, Maggie Lockwood, April Sexton, Connor Rhodes, Daniel Charles and Sharon Goodwin. They are all there and as soon as they heard I was back in town, they all came to Molly's. I also got hugs again from Kel, Matty, Joe, Otis, Sylvie, Stella, Shay, Andy, Boden, Tony, and Capp. I shake Gallo and Ritter's hands again. They all look at me expectantly, waiting for the story. I sigh and start talking.

"Okay so basically, you all remember how I was crushed under the truck? Well at my welcome back party, I had a pulmonary embolism in my ex-captains backyard. I wake up in the hospital and find out I need to go on blood thinners because I worked too hard doing my recertification. I go to dinner at my ex-captains house and find out why I can't go back on calls because of him. He is the one keeping me as a fire marshal. I make a dumb mistake and decide to sue the department and him. The lawyer threatened them all and tried to offer me a payout but I just wanted to go back to the firehouse. When I decided to come home, I hadn't been out on a call in 8 months. I got tired of it so I texted Maddie, my sister, and she came over. We went out to brunch at our favorite diner. On our way back to my loft, she called her boyfriend and his best friend, both of whom are my ex-coworkers but they were very vocal about my treatment and never shut me out. I went to talk to the chief, and he signed the transfer papers. I went back home to find that the three of them had packed all my things and Maddie booked me a flight for the next day, aka today. I called Matty, he got Boden and Kel into the office and I told them my plan. Next thing I know they are picking me up from O'Hare, we went to the firehouse, I surprised you all, went out on a few calls, went home to surprise mom, and came here to tell you my story."

I look around and see many shocked and furious faces.

"Okay I know those faces, you don't need to murder them, I told the chief what happened and recommend he suspend but not fire Diaz and Nash."

They all look more satisfied at that, but still mad. Gallo and Ritter just looked shocked.

"Wait wait wait, you are telling me that YOU WERE THE GUY TRAPPED UNDER THE TRUCK?!" Gallo asked, shocked.

I nod sheepishly.

"Yeah some kid was tryna blow up my captain but I was in his seat for the day. Don't remember why."

He just blew out a breath.

"Okay less sad things, what have I missed with you all?"

Jay speaks up first.

"Well Mouse and I finally got engaged!" He said, showing me his ring.

I jump up and go hug them both.

"I'm so happy for you two!"

They thank me and Connor goes next.

"Will and I finally got our heads out of our asses and got together."

I hug them both too and congratulate them.

"Matt and I are still together obviously" Kelly says. I roll my eyes and smack him on the head.

"I got a new girlfriend." Shay says slyly looking at Sylvie.

"I broke up with my boyfriend." Gallo says shrugging.

I feel both the girls and dads eyes on me but I very clearly ignore them. Everyone else is kinda confused but brushes it off.

"Chole is pregnant with my son!" Joe says excitedly.

"Oh my god dude congrats! I'm so happy for you!"

Everyone else shares something or say nothing new.

Couple hours later, it started to wind down and I'm at a table with the Halstead brothers, their other haves and Shay, Kim, and Hailey.

"So what's that with Gallo?" Mouse asks me pointedly. They all turn to me and I know my face is heating up.

"Nothing! There is nothing going on with Gallo!"

They all give me a 'drop the bullshit' look and I sigh.

"Okay fine, you all can stop giving me that look. I might have a slight crush on him. And it may be a little more now that I know he likes guys. But what if he doesn't like me?"

They all look at me in understanding.

"Evan, I love you, but why the fuck would he not want to go out with you? You are good looking, you are sweet, and anyone who wouldn't date you is dumb. And I'm a fucking lesbian." Shay says to me, everyone nodding along showing they agree with her.

"Yeah Cubby, I may not be a lesbian but you are like my brother, anyone who wouldn't date you is dumb" Kim adds on.

I sigh and nod. They all smile at me and we start talking about Jay and Mouse's wedding. Little did I know there was a very similar conversation at the table with Gallo, Ritter, Stella, Sylvie, Adam, and Andy.

Gallo POV:

"So Gallo, what was that with Evan?" Stella asks me.

"I have no idea what you are talking about"

"Cut the bullshit Blake. We all saw what was going on between you two" Andy says to me.

Fine, guess I'm not getting out of this one.

"Okay, I like him, but he is Herrmann's son! And I don't even know if he likes guys."

They all snort and start laughing then they look at me. I'm confused.

"Gallo, Evan is as gay as a fucking rainbow." Adam says to me in between laughter.

Wait, what?

"He's gay?"

They all nod.

Okay, I have a better chance now. They must've seen me thinking because Sylvie pats my shoulder and gets my attention.

"You should go for it. I've seen the way he's been looking at you all night. Just, maybe wait until tomorrow." She says, then walks over to Shay and grabs her hand. And pulls her up and out of the bar. The rest of them are not far behind and soon it's just Ritter, me, Evan, Cindy, and Herrmann. I go say goodbye to my best friend, the Herrmanns and Evan.

"Hey Evan, I'm gonna head out but it was nice to meet you" I hold my hand out for a shake but he pulls me into a hug shocking me at first before I hug him back. Once we pull apart I realize he is drunk because he plants a kiss on my cheek. My face heats up bright red. Ritter is looking at me amused and so I flip him off before we head out since he drove me and didn't drink tonight.

We get to my place and I wave goodbye. I fall asleep to the thought of Evan Buckley-Herrmann...

Buck POV:

I don't remember much from last night cause I ended up getting more drunk than I wanted too. I do however remember hugging Gallo. My face heats up at the thought of him. Oh god I can't believe I hugged him and kissed his cheek. He is never gonna wanna speak to me again. I'm pulled out if my spiral by dad knocking on my door.

"Come in!" I call

"Hey son, I thought you might have a headache after last night so here's some water and Tylenol. Also because I know you, I saw what you did to Gallo and just know, he doesn't hate you and actually texted me asking for your number, so if you get an unexpected text from a unknown number, that's all me. Love you, I'll see you in a few before we have to head in."

I nod and he closes the door. Well that's good that he doesn't hate me.

*Ding!*

I look over at my phone and see:

+773-675-6554:

Hey Evan! This is Blake Gallo. I hope you don't mind that Herrmann gave me your number. I was wondering if you wanted to get dinner tonight? As a date?

Hey Blake! I would love to! I also wanna apologize for last night, I was super drunk. I didn't mean to get that drunk. I'll see you at work today.

It's okay! I'll pick you up around 7? We get off shift at 6.

Sounds perfect! See you later!

See ya!

I groan and lay back on my bed. I stay there for like 30 seconds before I shoot up and start to freak out. Oh god I have a date. I have a date with Blake Gallo. I HAVE A DATE WITH BLAKE FUCKING GALLO! I lay face down on my bed like a teenager and stay there. I hear my door knock and I just groan. He comes in and chuckles at me.

"What's wrong?"

I just chuck my phone at him. They know my password since I don't ever really have much to hide from them, and if I do, I hide it good.

He reads the texts and laughs.

"Isn't that a good thing?" He asks me, amused.

"Yeah. But I have nothing to weaaar." I say sounding like a child.

"Well how about your mom goes and gets you some new clothes, since she knows your size, and then you are ready for your date. Sound good?"

I nod and get up.

"Okay. Now get dressed! We gotta leave in 5 minutes!"

I scramble to get dressed and we head out. I'm excited to have my first full shift at the 51. We pull in and get out. I smile when I see the "WELCOME HOME MINI HERRMANN" banner hanging up. We get ready and as soon as we are all ready, the alarm rings out. It was a quick one, a car accident. We were pretty busy today so it went by quick. I couldn't help but look at Blake when I thought no one was looking but a certain pair of husband's certainly saw this. They pulled dad off to the side to talk to him when we had a free moment.

"So why does Ev keep looking at Gallo?"

My dad laughs and tells then about the texts from this morning, but makes then promise that they won't let me know they know. (Yes I pulled a friends). They agree and as soon as they are done talking the alarm goes off one last time. Our last call went all the way to the end of our shift so I hurry and make dad leave quick, much to the surprise of those who don't know about the date. Gallo is not far behind them rushing out and a few people have knowing looks.

We get home and I see what clothes mom got me and decide on a maroon button up shirt and black jeans with my black doc martens. I gel my hair and about that time is when I get a text:

Blake:

Hey! I'm outside!

Okay! I'll be right out!

I double check I have everything and head out, saying bye to my parents. I walk out and see him leaning up against his car. He hugs me and I hug back, taking in his scent that seems oddly comforting. We break apart and he goes to open my door. I smile at him as I get in the car and he smiles back. He gets in and starts driving. I tentatively reach across the center console to grab his hand and he holds it. We smile at each other and he pulls into a small hole-in-the-wall Mexican restaurant. We get out and he grabs my hand again as we walk in.

"Reservation for Gallo" he says to the hostess. She nods and grabs 2 menus taking us to our table. We look at them and decide what we want. He gets the chicken enchiladas with a coke and I get fish tacos with a sprite. She takes our orders and walks away. I reach across the table and hold his hand. We start talking about our childhoods. He learns I wasn't born to mom and dad and I learn about how his family died. We talk for so long we don't realize our food is here until it gets set down. We eat, and he pays even though I try to protest. He just says "I asked out on a date. If this goes well, you can pay for the next one." I sigh and realize he wasn't going to give it up so I relent. We head back out to his car and he drives us out to a ledge to look over the city. He has a truck and backed it up so we can lay on his bed to look at the stars. We cuddled there since he brought blankets to lay down. We didn't talk, I just had my head on his chest, watching the stars.

"Evan?" He asks softly.

I look up at him and respond, "yeah?"

He looks down at me and asks, "can I kiss you?"

I nod and meet him halfway. His lips are so soft and sweet. His tongue is asking permission to enter my mouth and I let it. I moan into his mouth and he does the same when I put my tongue in his. We make out for a few minutes before we have to take a breather. We rest our foreheads against each other.

"That was amazing," I breathed out.

He just nods and we sit there. He then leans in to kiss me again, this time much more chaste.

"Do you wanna come back to my place? We don't have to have sex, but I just want to snuggle you" he asks after a few.

I look up at him through my eyelashes and nod. We get out of his truck bed and he grabs the blankets and shuts the tailgate. I climb in and let my dad know I won't be home. He just sends back winky faces and tells me to be safe. I sent him the middle finger emoji and shut my phone off. He climbs in and we head to his place. He turns on the radio and I hear one of my favorite songs, From The Ground Up by Dan+Shay. I start humming along and then when Blake turns it up I start to sing which causes him to sing along too. We both laugh and are so joyful when the song ends that we keep singing along with the radio. We pull into his apartment complex and get out. We get up there and I realize I don't have pajamas. I tell Blake this and he tells me I can borrow a shirt and sweats from him. He hands them to me and I go change. We fall asleep pretty quickly, him spooning me from behind. I feel so comfortable in his arms and it just feels right. I never believed in soulmates, but Blake Gallo is making me believe in them now.

I wake up the next morning to see Blake looking at me lovingly. I smile back up at him and kiss him. We both smile into the kiss.

"I gotta get back to my parents before shift since I don't want to go in my nice clothes" I murmur against his lips.

"Or you could borrow my clothes if you want?" He says with a shrug.

I agree, not really wanting to head back to my parents. I borrow a pair of jeans a t shirt, neither of us looking at it closely.

We head out and go to the firehouse. I hold his hand across the center console again, occasionally pulling out joined hands to kiss them. On the way there he asks me to be his boyfriend and I agree immediately. When we pull in, we smile at each other and get out. We keep our hands joined, not wanting to hide this from our family. We hear wolf whistles and cheers and we just shake our heads with smiles.

"Hey kid! Nice shirt!" I hear Mouch say.

I turn around confused a little bit before Stella takes pity on me,

"Cubby, your shirt says 'Gallo'"

We both blush and walk away. I hear Ritter going to talk to Blake and I see the resident hubby's walking over to me. They pull me into Matt's bunk and push me onto the bed.

"Talk" they both say.

I sigh and say, "okay, so the day before yesterday, I got a text from Blake asking if he wants to go on a date. The night before when it was just Ritter, him, me, and my parents, when he came to say goodbye, I was so drunk I pulled him into a hug and kissed his cheek. I apologized the next morning but he asked me on a date and I said yes. He picked me up from my parents house, opened the car door for me like a gentleman, and we went to a Mexican restaurant, then out to the ledge that looks out over the city. We laid in the bed of his truck just watching the stars when he asked if he could kiss me. I said yes, we kissed a few times then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place. He said we don't need to have sex and that he just wants to snuggle me. I agree, let my dad know, which was a mistake considering he is a kid at heart. We sang along to the radio on the way back since my favorite song came on, we got back to his place and he gave me sweats and a shirt to wear. We laid in bed, with him as the big spoon. We woke up together and I was at first gonna ask him to drop me off at home but then he just said I can borrow clothes from him so we don't have to go back. He hands me what I'm wearing, we don't look at the shirt obviously. On the way here we hold hands across the console, I keep kissing our joined hands. We then walk into the firehouse and you know the rest."

They nod along to the entire rant and finally Matt asks, "Are you happy?"

I nod enthusiastically and say, "Very. I haven't been this happy in a long time"

They both nod and get up to give me a hug. I start to tear up because having their and my parents' approval are very important to me.

"As long as you are happy Cub, we are happy." Kelly says, Matt agreeing. At that, I finally let my tears fall and they hug me again and kiss my forehead. After a few, I finally get it together and head out of the bunk. I see Blake talking to Ritter, Otis, and Cruz in the bunk room, so I go up to him and hug him. He hugs me back, a little confused but not complaining. He kisses my forehead ignoring the other three who are looking at the couple with a fond look. They walk away to give us a little privacy, shutting the door.

"What's wrong baby?" He asks me.

I sniff and then look up at him, "Nothing. I am just glad that they are accepting of our relationship. I know we just had our first date last night, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

He looks down at me with tears in his eyes too, and kisses my forehead again then my lips.

"I can't imagine my life without you too. All I could dream about last night was marrying you someday and adopting kids with you. I genuinely feel like you are my soulmate. I love you."

At that, the tears start flowing, he wipes my tears with his thumbs and kisses me.

"I love you too" I tell him softly. At that, the alarm goes off and then we are off, but not without one more kiss.

When I climb into the truck, dad asks me if I'm okay. I nod and smile at him, telling him I'll talk to him later. He nods and we are off.

When we get back, Blake and I go to talk to Boden to fill out paperwork for our relationship. He tells us he is proud of us and thanks us for filling out the paperwork. We nod and he hugs us both.

We head into the lounge and decide to cude together on the couch, but not in Mouch's spot. I close my eyes and lay my head on his shoulder. I feel him lay his head on mine and then I am asleep. We wake up when the alarm goes off again.

"Rise and shine lovebirds!" Capp yells at us. We flip him off together. The fire goes out pretty quickly and we are headed back to the station. Blake asks me if we can talk when we pull in and I nod and ask Kelly if we can use his bunk to talk. He says sure, so we head there.

"Okay, I know we literally just started dating, but how would you feel about moving in with me? I know you are looking for a place and your stuff will be here soon. If you don't want to, that's fine, but I figured it would be better for you, and we can split the rent. Whatdya say?"

I take that in for a moment before nodding with a bright grin coming across my face.

"Yeah?" He asks, a hopeful look on his face.

"Yeah." I confirm with a bright grin.

"Yay!! I'm so glad you said yes!"

"I am too. I meant what I said when I said I want to grow old with you. I want to get married and have kids with you. I love you."

"I love you too." He then leaned down to kiss me and I kissed back.

We walk out of the bunk holding hands and smiling. As the shift comes to an end I tell him that I'll head back to my parents for the night and let them know what I'm planning on doing. He says okay and we kiss and head off in different directions. Dad and I get to their house and see my Jeep is there finally. I'm glad, because as much as I love my dad driving me, I need my own vehicle. We walk in and mom greets us. We eat and then I tell them I need to talk to them. They look concerned so I reassure them it's nothing bad.

"Mom, dad, as I'm sure you know by now, Blake Gallo and I are dating. And I know we just started dating but I feel as if I've known him my entire life. He is the person I want to grow old with. He is the person I want to marry someday. He is the person I want to adopt kids with. And I know he feels the same cause he told me. I love him and he loves me. So he asked me to move in with him just because he knows I'm looking for a place and the rent would be cheaper. So I said yes. I hope that's okay."

They look at me with proud looks and tears in their eyes.

"Evan, of course it's okay. After hearing that, I firmly believe you two are soulmates. I don't always believe in love at first sight, but I saw you guys the first time you saw each other and something clicked. Your mother and I will always love you and always be proud of you. We will help you move your stuff along with I'm sure the rest of the firehouse. They all saw something there, and I know you two are meant for each other."

At this point, all of had tears down our faces. I nod and don't say anything because I don't trust my voice. They pull me into a hug and we just hug for a long time. Eventually I speak, "I think I'll stay here for the rest of the week, since we have this weekend off, we can move my stuff then"

They nod and we all head off to bed, but not before they both kiss my forehead. I fall asleep that night thinking of the names Evan Gallo and Blake Herrmann.

The weeks goes by quick. Blake and I explain what we are gonna do and they all agree to help us that weekend. Saturday rolls around and we get everything unpacked pretty quickly since Ieft all my furniture and didn't have much. Next thing I know I'm FaceTiming Maddie, Chim, and Hen to introduce them to my Blake as my boyfriend a few weeks later. They are shocked at first but by the end, Maddie and Chim are coming over for Christmas in a few months. We say bye and hang up the phone. I sigh contently and look over at my boyfriend. He looks back at me lovingly. It's been about a month since we got together. I already bought a ring, but I'm gonna wait a little longer.

*Time skip*

It's now December, getting closer to Christmas time. I want to propose on Christmas in front of our family. Since we became more serious, my family accepted him more. They already liked him since they knew him before, but it's different than being a coworker vs your son's boyfriend. Maddie and Chim are coming like they said they would. They'll be here tomorrow. The firehouse tease us about our relationship, but we both know they are happy for us. They do the same thing with Kel and Matty and Shay and Sylvie, but it's all joking. Christmas rolls around and I'm nervous and excited at the same. We show up at my parents and they let us in. Maddie and Chim are there since they are staying there instead of a hotel. We start opening presents and when it gets to my turn for Blake, I get down on one knee and pull out the ring. Behind me I hear mom and Maddie gasp but right now in focused on Blake.

"Blake, ever since I first laid eyes on you in the lounge room, I knew I liked you. That then morphed into love. I can't see myself with anyone else. I want to have children with you. I want to grow grey and wrinkly with you. I want marry you. So Blake James Gallo, will you marry me?"

He nods yes and falls down to me and we hug and kiss each other like our life depended on it. I slip the ring on as our family cheers for us and gives us all hugs. I see Blake reach into his pocket and pull out a velvet box.

"I was gonna ask you later this week, but Evan Buckley-Herrmann, will you marry me?"

I nod and we kiss again. We put our rings on and keep celebrating Christmas with our family.

We also bought the rubber rings for at work. We aren't telling anyone right out, we are gonna see who figures it out first. I bet on Shay, Blake says Matt, dad says Sylvie, mom and Maddie say Otis, and Chim who has gotten to know 51, says Stella. In the end, mom and Maddie were right. He noticed our rings and congratulated us prompting everyone else to do the same. The girls offered to plan it with Maddie. I ask Maddie to be my best woman and Blake asks Ritter to be his best man. We asked Boden to officiate it. My dad will walk me down the aisle. We each took turns deciding who we wanted for our groomsmen/women. We ended up doing a fall wedding because that is our favorite season and we had many people from intelligence, med, and firehouse 51 and a few people from California. Our first dance is the song we sang together on our first date. About a year into our marriage Blake and I decided to adopt twins. We now have two girls named Maeve Gallo and Robin Gallo who are 4. They love all the aunts and uncles they have from everywhere in Chicago and LA. They also love their "Papa Herrmann and Grammy Cindy. But also their grandpa Boden". Everyday I am thankful that I decided to leave LA and I'm thankful that the Herrmanns adopted me because if they didn't I don't know where I would be. But I thank God the Buckleys didn't want me and that captain Nash shut me out.

And we'll build this love from the ground up

Now 'til forever it's all of me, all of you

Just take my hand

And I'll be the man your dad hoped that I'd be

And we'll build this love from the ground up

For worse or for better

And I will be all you need

Beside you I'll stand through the good and the bad

We'll give all that we have

And we'll build this love from the ground up

Dan+Shay

[myhockeyworld87]

Ruined - Jamie Benn - Part 5

Word Count: 5,690

POV: Reader and then switches to Jamie

Warnings: Language, but that’s about it, at least from what I can remember

Notes: So I just want to thank everyone for their patience with me as I took some time off. I’ve still been writing, so hopefully you’ll see your favorite stories pop up here and there. Happy reading!

Sidenote: Also (Y/NN) = Your Nickname (Y/LN) = Your Last Name

READER'S POV

 "I'm sorry what did you just say?" you asked Emma, as you had to have heard her incorrectly when she said that you should get under someone in order to get over Jamie. "Because, you were there in high school, that didn't work out the best for me."

"That's not what I meant."

 "But it is what you said, that I should just go hook up with some random guy. Em, I love you, babe, but I am not going down that path again. I do not need to be known as the doctor that sleeps around."

 "Oh my god, would you shut up for one minute?" You went radio silent, after she practically yelled at you through the phone, though you suppose that your voice had gone up maybe a decibel or two. "I didn't mean for you to go fuck some rando at the bar. Actually, I meant…and hear me out before you say anything," she paused and you had a feeling that you weren't going to like what she said next no matter what it was. "I think you should sleep with Jamie."

 "WHAT!?!"

 "Yeah, that was a little loud. I think you might have woken up Caleb. Shh, go back to sleep babe," you heard her mumble to her husband.

 "I'm sorry but are you crazy? Maybe I called you too early and you're not fully functioning without coffee. Or should I call Dr. Kaplan and have him examine you."

 "Your neurologist, friend? No." She sounded a bit indignant at the mention that she needed her brain examined for suggesting a thing, but really what were you supposed to think when she made stupid remarks like you should go sleep with Jamie. "I asked you to listen before you passed judgment on me. God, you think you were a judge instead of a doctor so something."

 "Well, you have my full attention. So please explain, before I have you committed to the psych ward." She scoffed at you, which only made you say, "You know I can medically do that."

 You could almost hear her eyes rolling through the phone. "Yes, but who would you call this early in the morning when you have a problem." She had a point. "Exactly. Now, let me explain. You and Jamie never really resolved anything. He said things, you got upset, he never answered the phone, so you broke it off with him, yadda, yadda, yadda. You get my point." It seemed a whole lot more complicated than a few yaddas. "But there was never any closure for either of you there. It just sort of ended." Emma was right about that, after hearing that he only was seeing you for sex, you didn't want to speak to him at all. "It was obvious then, that he still had feelings for you, even if you didn't want to see it. And don't kill me here, but I think it was obvious that you still had feelings for him as well, and that maybe you still do." You didn't exactly know how you felt about Jamie at the moment, but waking up in his arms did feel right. "Let's face it (Y/N), you've compared every guy you've ever been with to Jamie."

 "I have not." Had you?

 "Ok, we're skipping all the douches in high school, because you and I both know you never slept with any of them. Yes, I know what everyone said, but I was also your best friend and I know you. The worst you ever did was give Carter Williams a blow job behind the bleachers after a football game." Oh, Jesus, she did not need to go down this road listing all your sexcapades from high school or after that. "I'm talking about Bryan, the perfectly good looking, studying to be a heart surgeon, boyfriend that you gave up for no other reason then you said he wasn't tall enough."

 "I did not break up with Bryan because he wasn't tall enough and you know it."

 "It was a factor, along with his hair not being dark enough and you hating his sense of humor."

 "The man made stupid heart surgeon jokes that not even anyone in the cardiothoracic department got."

 "True, but you also told me he was lousy in bed, and I believe that was another complaint you had about Tomas, Dylan…oh and what was his name…you know the one you said that you had to use your vibrator the minute he walked out the door because he couldn't get you off."

 "Isaac," you told her and there was a blush creeping to your cheeks. Suddenly, you were regretting Emma being your best friend.

 "Yes, Isaac. If I remember correctly that happened more than once with him. How you kept him around for four months is beyond me. You're a doctor woman, you can show him where the clit is, you know? Just take his hand and place it…"

 "Thank you, Dr. Emma, I know where my clit is."

 "But he didn't," she let out a bark of laughter that was so contagious you had to join in. Once you both calmed, Emma came right back at you about Jamie. "Look, he was your first love and maybe the sex wasn't as great as your sixteen-year-old mind remembers. Maybe you just fuck Jamie and that's all it is, a fuck, or maybe it's more. At least this way, you won't be holding him on some pedestal like he's a Greek god or something."

 Maybe she was right and you'd been holding on for fourteen years thinking that what you and Jamie had was this truly magical once and a lifetime thing when in reality all it had been was sex. Let's face it, what your sixteen-year-old self thought was love could've been nothing more than lust. "I never thought he was a Greek god."

 "Please, I was always envious about how you had this romantic first time. I mean mine was in the back of Kyle's jeep, and before you say anything he didn't know where the clit was either."

 You both giggled again, but then you had to remind her of how things had ended. "It wasn't romantic when he said those things about me."

 "He was sixteen (Y/N). I'm not making an excuse, but it's time to build that bridge. Maybe he's changed, maybe he hasn't. I'm not saying for you to give him your whole heart. I'm just saying, find out if what was there, was truly that once in a lifetime love or was it just this idea that you've been holding on to."

 "But what if…" you stuttered while Emma waited for you to continue. "What if…I still love him, and he breaks my heart, again."

 "(Y/N), that's the chance we all take when we open our hearts to love. You don't think that I felt that way with Caleb? That sometimes I still don't feel that way." She sighed. You could tell she was struggling with how to put her feelings into words. "He could walk out the door and leave me here alone, and my heart would break into pieces, but the love I have for him is so much greater than that fear." She made it sound so easy, but all you could remember was how completely hurt you'd felt when things had gone wrong with Jamie. "I know you're scared, and that's why you've closed your heart off for so long, but (Y/N) I promise you the minute you open it back up, your life is going to be even better than it is. And maybe it's Jamie that deserves your heart and maybe it's not, but you'll never know if you don't try."

 "I know," you whispered weakly, for you really did know that. If it wasn't Jamie, it was going to have to be someone eventually, because you didn't want to be alone forever. It was just that gnawing fear in the back of your mind that Jamie would hurt you again as he had before. "I just don't want to break into a thousand pieces again."

 "You won't (Y/N), and if you do, I'll be on the first flight to Dallas to help you pick them up." She would be, you knew that for sure because you couldn't ask for a better friend than Emma. "And I'll kick his ass as well." That made you laugh considering that Emma was five foot four, and Jamie was just over six foot. It would make for an interesting matchup, but you knew that Emma would take him down no matter the size difference.

 "Thanks, Em."

 "I just want you to be happy, (Y/NN); happy and in love, and I just have this gut feeling that Jamie can make that happen." There was only one way to find out, and that was to open up more to Jamie. It wouldn't be easy but after this little talk, you were willing to try. "Now, enough about this, because you're going to follow my advice. So tell me how everything else is going? Do you like work? Is it everything you thought it would be?"

 "And so much more." You spent the next fifteen minutes catching up with each other before she kicked you off the phone to go make rounds at the hospital. Despite not having that many patients of your own at the moment, you were still looking after all of Dr. Lundin's. It was about three o'clock in the afternoon when your phone rang, Jamie's name popping up on the screen. For a minute, you thought about not answering it, but then you remembered your conversation this morning with Emma and quickly hit the accept button. "Hey, Jame."

 He seemed a bit startled that you answered. "Oh, hey (Y/NN). I was just giving you a call about a couple things."

 "Ok, what's up?"

 "Well, first off, I found your dress in my bathroom this morning."

 "Oh shit, I totally forgot that I left it in there." You'd laid it over the tub last night when you changed, something that you did at home all the time. You had every intention of picking it up before you left, but then you'd fallen asleep and well, it kind of got lost in your mind as you freaked out over possibly having feelings for Jamie.

 "It's no biggie. I hung it up in my closet." He paused as if he'd said something wrong. "Just so it didn't wrinkle anymore." Well, look at him being all domesticated.

 "Thanks, that's sweet of you. I'll stop over and get it sometime from you."

 "Oh, ok or I can bring it over. Whatever is easiest for you. I also wanted to see if there was a good time to reschedule that visit to the AAC? We kind of didn't get to go over my map too much last night. Plus, my artistic skills are a little rusty."

 You'd forgotten all about the tour, but it would be a good excuse to spend some more time with Jamie to see where your feelings were. "Let me check my schedule." You switched him to speaker and flipped over to your calendar. "Oh, I'm headed to Jessi's tomorrow night to take her stitches out, so that won't work. Um, let me see about the next day."

 "What about tonight?"

 "Oh, tonight?" You weren't sure if you were ready to face him just yet, but a little voice, that sounded an awful lot like your best friend, told you there was no time like the present. "Yeah, I can do that. I was just getting ready to leave here in about ten minutes. What time were you thinking?"

 "Whenever I'm free the rest of today, so if you just wanted to come straight here; that's fine."

 This was really not the timeframe you wanted. You hadn't even taken any time this morning to do anything special with your hair or makeup, as you'd spent too much time talking to Emma. Though it wasn't like Jamie hadn't just seen you with drool on your face, wearing his sweats and your hair a complete disaster. Anything would be an improvement over that. It was that thought that had you saying, "Sounds good. I'll see you in about twenty minutes then."

 "Ok see you soon." You hung up and then quickly went to add at least a bit of lip gloss and mascara to your face.

 It was about twenty minutes later that you were pulling into your garage and then walking the short distance to Jamie's. This time foregoing parking at his place. He opened the door before you even had a chance to knock. "Hey, (Y/N). How's it going tonight?"

 It seemed like a loaded question when he was standing there dressed in a pristine white dress shirt, his chest hair peeking out from where he'd undone the first couple buttons. Suddenly, your mouth went dry. When you were sixteen, Jamie didn't have a hair on his chest. Well, maybe there were one or two that he was awfully proud of, but they really didn't count. This was just another sign of how much he'd changed and grown into the man that stood before you today. You'd hoped he'd changed in other ways as well. "Much better tonight. My feet are all ready for you to give me the grand tour."

 "Alright, then let's head out." He had his car in the garage, so you followed him through the house to the SUV. In true Jamie Benn fashion, he came over and opened the door for you. It was something he'd always done when you were younger, as his mom had instilled those gentlemanly courtesies in him. It was weird being in the car with him again. Part of you kept waiting for him to grab your hand and hold it like he used to and you found yourself glancing down every so often at his large fingers gripping the gearshift instead of your hand.

 He pointed out different landmarks as you passed and told you that despite what the navigation system said this was the fastest way to get to downtown from your house. The two of you chatted the whole entire time, while the music played softly in the background. "So, you're going to want to use this gate." Jamie was saying right as his playlist changed to a song from the movie Frozen.

 "So, are you are an Anna or an Elsa fan?" you teased.

 "What?" It was then that he realized what was playing, and quickly changed the song. "I have that on here for my niece."

 He pulled into the players' parking spot, "Uh huh, sure Jame. Admit it you like the movie." He shut the car off and you both got out.

 "I may have watched it with Soph once," he said sheepishly and your heart warmed at the idea of him sitting there with the little girl watching one of Disney's hit movies. You always knew that he would make a great dad, and having that song just proved it.

 You were walking side by side now and you couldn't resist dancing around him, while you sang the lyrics. "Let it go, let it go, can't hold it back anymore." You were walking backward not having a clue where you were going as you continued. "Come on Jame, sing with me. You know you want to…Let it go, let it go, turn away and slam the door."

 "Stop," he chided but had a grin a mile long on his face.

 You twirled around him another time, hands dancing along his arm. "I don't care what they're going to say," you belted out; the words echoing off the cement walls around you. "Let the storm rage on…"

 "The cold never bothered me anyway." Jamie sang finally joining you. You bouncing up and down as he sang with you, not paying attention as your eyes were focused on him and not where you were going. He reached out and grabbed you right as you started to trip on a large cord that was behind you. "Careful there Elsa." Your hands went to his chest, your palm resting where his heart was racing, as his slid around your waist and pulled you in close to him. Pressed up against him, you couldn't help the urge that came over you to kiss him; he was just so close, and his eyes were smiling into yours, and it felt like the perfect moment to test the waters out. So, you slid your hands just a little further up his chest, and you raised up on your tiptoes so that your lips were mere inches from him, and then your watch chimed again; the damn thing reminding you to breathe, and the moment was lost.

 You dropped back down onto the balls of your feet but still kept that smile plastered on your face. "Thanks for saving me Olaf," you said and tapped his chest, before stepping out of his embrace.

 "Olaf? I was thinking more Kristoff."

 You tapped your finger on your chin, looking him up and down. "You're right, I was wrong. You're definitely Sven."

 "The reindeer?"

 "I knew you've watched that movie more than just once with your niece."

 You were finally at the door, and Jamie was entering a code to get into the building since there wasn't anything going on at the AAC today. "Ok, you got me, but really Sven?"

 "What's wrong with Sven? He's sweet, kind, lovable…" Shit the moment the word came out of your mouth you wanted to take it back. Of course, Jamie was lovable too but you weren't sure you were ready to be the one loving him. There was too much uncertainty in doing that just yet. You coughed trying to cover up the slip of tongue and then added, "He's also oddly quiet when there are people around. Kind of like someone else I know."

 He raked his hand through his hair, an action that your fingers longed to do. "I'm only that way around people I don't know…and the media." You knew this about him, of course, because you'd watched a few of his interviews. His answers were always clipped and short, which sometimes gave the impression he was standoffish, but then he would throw a little comment here and there and the real Jamie would come out. "But anyhow, we should be getting on with the tour."

 "Lead the way."

  JAMIE'S POV

 Had she really just called you lovable? Moreover, had she just been about to kiss you? That damn watch of hers kept beeping at the most inappropriate times and it was maddening. Something had changed since she'd practically run out of your house this morning. You weren't sure what, but she'd definitely let her guard down some, and you were all for it. You knew it was going to take baby steps to get back into her heart, but those steps seemed to be coming more and more frequently and you weren't complaining.

 You were surprised when (Y/N) agreed to the tour tonight, for you thought for sure that she'd avoid you at all cost after you had fallen asleep with her on the sofa last night. It was the last thing that you intended but she had felt so right in your arms, that you'd just let yourself get caught up in the moment. God, she looked so adorable this morning, hair messy, with her cheeks all rosy from sleeping on you, and then how she was wearing your sweats; there was nothing that you wanted more than to see her like that every day for the rest of your life. Baby steps, you reminded yourself.

 The tour around the arena went pretty well. You showed her everything that you could think of, ending the tour in the training room, just as you had the other day. She was taking everything in, noticing that Dave and his crew had implemented all the ideas she had talked about the other day. "Everything look ok?"

 "Oh yeah, they did an amazing job." She was opening drawers and checking supplies.

 "Well, I guess that's the end of the tour then." You glanced down at your watch to notice that it was almost six o'clock. You were definitely going to hit rush hour traffic. "If we head out now, it'll probably take us an hour to get home. Maybe a little less, if I hurry."

 "Oh, do you have to be some place?"

 "Um…no. Why?"

 "Well, you're all dressed up, thought maybe you had a hot date or something." There was a tremble in her voice that usually wasn't there, and you had to wonder if she asked the question in hopes that you weren't seeing anyone.

 "No, no hot date. I actually…" Shit, now it was your turn to get all tongue-tied. "Well, I mean…I thought we could have dinner downtown here and really celebrate your big surgery."

 "Oh!" There was a bit of shock in her voice. "I mean last night was perfect. You don't have to take me to dinner, after everything you did."

 You raked your hands through your hair again. It was a bad nervous habit, that served as a distraction while you tried to think of something to say. This time there was nothing clever that came to mind. "What if I want to take you to dinner?"

 The corner of her lip picked up on the right side of her face, that was the first sign she gave, telling you that she liked the idea. It got you excited that she might just agree, to the plan you had, but then it seemed like she was getting into her head, as she took a moment to think about your offer. "You know what?" It wasn't really a question, so you remained quiet. "Dinner sounds amazing, but only on one condition." You cocked a brow at her, silently asking what that was. "I get to buy."

 "Oh no, I asked you out." Oh shit, that came out wrong, you didn't mean it to sound like you'd asked her out on a date, that for sure would scare her away. "Besides my mom would kill me if she found out I let you pay," you quickly added hoping that it would cover up your blunder.

 "Hmm," she mused. "I guess we'll just have to see who has the quicker hands when the check comes then." That sure sounded like a yes to you.

 "You're on, but I plan on winning."

 "We'll see," she said as she headed out the door of the training room. "Now, let me see if I can remember how to get out of here." She led the way out to the car and you only had to direct her one time, which was pretty good considering it took you a week to find your way around the place.

 The restaurant was one of the finest Dallas had to offer, and one of the main reasons why you didn't want (Y/N) paying, though you were sure that wouldn't deter her from trying. Being that you weren't sure if (Y/N) was going to say yes to dinner, you didn't have a reservation, though when you slipped the maître d a hundred-dollar bill and your name; you were suddenly shown the nicest table in the place, one that was quiet and out of the way. Conversation between you and (Y/N) flowed easily, as did the wine, though you made sure not to drink too much as you'd be driving the two of you home. It also helped you grab the check when the waiter brought it at the end of the night.

 "That's not fair." (Y/N) chided as your long arms reached out and snagged the leather pouch out of the man's hands, who looked a bit taken back by the action.

 "You said whoever had the fastest hands."

 "Yes, but I clearly had more wine than you, which limited my ability, and now I'm convinced you did that on purpose." She was always so adorable when she pouted, but right now you just wanted to kiss those pursed lips and you were having a hard time holding yourself back from doing just that.

 "One of us needed to drive home, but you didn't protest when I poured that last glass."

 "Well, it clearly didn't help my motor skills that's for sure. Though please mark it down, that I am paying next time." Next time? So, she planned on going out with you again. You were making more headway than you thought.

 You decided to forge ahead while she was in such a good mood, as you were coming close to running out of excuses for the two of you to get together. "And when would this next time be?"

 "Um, I'll have to check my schedule, but maybe I could cook you dinner next week. You know as maybe a thank you for helping me." She sat there across from you with this shy little smile playing across her lips. The look all too tantalizing, for it was doing things that it shouldn't to your nether regions.

 "Dinner at your place huh? Sounds like an offer I can't refuse." You paid the bill and then the two of you headed out. The drive back was fun, as the two of you continued with your flirtatious banter the whole way home. When you turned onto your street, disappointment reared its ugly head as the night was coming to an end. You wanted to spend more time with her. Hell, if you were being realistic you want her to fall asleep in your arms again so you could hold her all night long. You pulled into the garage, then got out of the car to help (Y/N) out.

 "Thanks for everything today, Jame. Including dinner which I was supposed to pay for."

 "You know I can run some drills with you to sharpen your hand-eye coordination if you want." There were also some other drills you'd like to be doing with her in the bedroom.

 "Well, I may just take you up on that." The two of you were standing in the driveway, not knowing how to end the night. If this was truly a date, you'd walk her home and maybe kiss her, but would she smack you if you tried that now? "I should be getting home. Thanks again for everything." She started down the drive, walking at a leisurely pace.

 "Hey (Y/NN)," you called out and she turned back towards you as you trotted up beside her. "Can I walk you home?" She gave you a curious look, and it did sound rather funny considering she lived only two doors down, but you weren't ready for your time with her to end just yet.

 You were just about to stumble through how it was just for safety, when she said, "Sure." You smiled at her and the two of you started the extremely short walk to her house. "You know, tonight was a lot of fun."

 "Yeah, it really was." You wanted to say it reminded you of old times, but you didn't want to bring up the bad ones that also went with that. "We should do it more often."

 "I'd like that." (Y/N) was shocking you at every turn tonight and you weren't sure what mystical force was in the air but you prayed that it didn't go away and make her hate you again. A comfortable silence fell over you both, it was one that you had with her long ago, though back then it was as if you could read each other thoughts. Now, you weren't sure what was going on in that complex mind of hers but if it continued to lead her on a path towards you; you weren't going to question it.

 You were just about to her front door, and damn if that didn't feel as if the two of you were speed walking over, even though you were strolling at a leisurely pace. Again, you searched for something so that you wouldn't have to leave her company just yet. "Hey, how's your patient doing? The one who's leg you saved."

 "Really great actually. I stopped in right before I left. He's got a long road ahead of him, but he was in really good spirits today."

 "All because of you."

 "I wouldn't go that far."

 "I would." She blushed at the compliment, as you finally made it to the front door.

 "Well, this is me." She said with a cute little smile and a shrug of her shoulder.

 There was really nothing more you could say to keep you at her front door, so you found yourself saying, "I guess my duty is fulfilled…now that you're safe at home and all."

 "So it seems." Was that a hint of reluctance you heard in her voice? Was she as sad to see the night end as you were? "Thanks again, Jame. It was fun." She entered the code to get in the house, unlocking the door and opening it. What she did next almost had you falling over, as she went up on her toes and placed a chaste kiss on your cheek. "Goodnight, Jame."

 A smile so bright, it could've lit up all of Dallas, appeared on your face, and she ducked inside right as you said. "Goodnight, (Y/NN)." As soon as the door closed, you pressed a hand to your cheek making sure that what had just happened was real and not something that you imagined. It had been real alright, and you felt like you were fifteen again, all giddy at the thought that the girl you liked, liked you back.

 Thank goodness, you only lived two doors down as you don't remember how you got back inside your own home, but there you were standing in front of the bathroom mirror grinning like a fool as you looked at the spot (Y/N) had just kissed. Now more than ever, you couldn't wait to see her again. Unfortunately, you had no excuse to call her this time or no definite date of when you'd see her again, just a promise that the two of you would have dinner again soon. While you looked forward to that, you wished that it would be happening sooner rather than later. You'd just have to come up with a plan.

 It seemed fate had your back this time though, as the following evening found her knocking on your door. "I hate to do this, but can I come in?" (Y/N) asked as she stood outside in the pouring rain, looking like a drowned rat. Well, maybe not a rat, but a very cute wet puppy for sure.

 "Yeah, sure." You said stepping aside as a loud crack of thunder sounded in the air.

 "I'm sorry to do this, but the code to the house isn't working and I left my phone, and my bag, at Jessi's when I was taking out her stitches." She stood there dripping wet in your foyer. "If I could just use your phone to call her, I'll run back over there."

 "Run? Where's your car?"

 "Locked, in the garage. I didn't realize it was going to storm and had just walked over there. I was almost home when it started."

 "Let me grab you a towel." You went and grabbed one out of the guest bathroom downstairs, then handed it to her to dry off. "I'll call Jess for you, but you're not running back over there. I'll drive you."

 She gave you a smile, before toweling off her hair. "Thank you."

 You went to the kitchen to grab your phone and call your soon to be sister-in-law. "Hey, Jess."

 "Hey, Chubbs, what's up?" Jess replied.

 "(Y/N) locked herself out of the house and I guess she left her stuff at your place. I was going to drive her over so she could get it if that's ok."

 There was silence on the other end of the phone and you were wondering if the two of you got disconnected or something with the storm. "Hmmm," she finally mumbled. "I'm going to do you a huge favor here and tell you I'm not home, even though I totally am."

 "What?"

 "You know I love you, but you're so dense sometimes." How were you the one that was dumb when she didn't make any sense? "Tell (Y/N) that I had to run to a friend's house and you're not sure when I'll be home with the storm. That way the two of you can spend a little more time together."

 "Oh," you said as you finally caught on to her plan.

 "You owe me one. Tell her I'll call you when I get back, which probably won't be for a while." You'd take all the time that you could get with (Y/N). "If you don't answer, I'll take that as a good sign." You could almost see her winking at you through the phone.

 "Thank Jess. You're literally the best."

 "I know," she quipped back, then hung up the phone.

 You went back out to where (Y/N) was standing in your entryway. "Apparently, Jess took off to a friend's house the minute you left. She said she's didn't realize you left your stuff or she would've dropped it off. She's going to call when she gets back, but it's going to be a bit with the storm."

 "Oh," (Y/N) stood there a little shocked, not knowing what to do. "Well, maybe if I go try the code again it will work."

 Another crack of thunder, with streaks of lightning, filled the sky. "(Y/N), you are not going back over there in the rain. Just stay here until the storm dies down. They usually pass pretty quick." But then again, sometimes they didn't and this was one you were hoping would stick around for at least a few more hours.

[refinedbuffoonery]

Mr. & Mrs. Claus

You should know that I wrote this whole thing just for the bad pick-up line Mac uses. And then I got hit with major baby fever while writing the end and....you’ll see.  Merry Christmas, y’all! ❤ 

Established MacRiley AU

*****

Riley’s only warning to Mac’s arrival was the slam of the front door before he yelled, “I’ve got the rings!” His boots clunked on the hardwood floor as he walked down the hall to their bedroom. “Let me get dressed and then we can go—” 

Riley met Mac’s eyes in the bathroom mirror. He stood in the doorway, slack-jawed, taking in the full effect of her costume. Smiling to herself, Riley finished applying her mascara, arching her back and sticking her ass out for his benefit. 

Mac cleared his throat. “Wow. You look incredible.” 

She twirled to give him the full effect. The stretchy, ribbed material of her off-white sweater dress clung to her body, stopping just below her knees and leaving nothing to the imagination. Her favorite black, high-heeled boots gave the outfit just a bit of edge. But the real showstopper was her coat—crimson velvet trimmed with fake fur, swirling gold and silver embroidery, elegant bell sleeves. It even had pockets. 

“This is my favorite part.” Clasping her hands behind her back, Riley swayed back and forth, watching the bottom of the knee-length coat swish like a bell. 

“It’s stunning,” Mac said, still a little stunned himself. He finally closed the gap between them. “You’re the hottest Mrs. Claus in LA.” 

“Literally,” Riley joked. “This outfit is toasty, and in case you didn’t realize, it’s definitely not cold outside.” According to her phone, the high was supposed to be 74 degrees. 

Mac rubbed her arms. “In all seriousness though, you look beautiful.” 

Even after all this time, Riley still blushed. “Thank you,” she murmured against his lips as she pulled him down for a quick kiss. 

She sat on the bed, unashamedly checking her boyfriend out while he changed into his own Santa costume to match hers. He fished around in the pocket of his discarded jeans and pulled out a pair of rings. “Matty said we, and I quote, have to return these to the Phoenix tomorrow, so no using them to build a homing beacon or something.” 

“Got it,” Riley said dryly. “No homing beacon.” She reached for her ring, but Mac seemed to have other ideas. He handed her his ring instead—a white gold band with a thin, but ornate border. 

Mac spoke in a deep, announcer-like voice. “We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Mr. and Mrs. Claus. Mrs. Claus, you may go first.” 

Riley held his left hand in hers, playing along. “Do you, Santa Claus, take me to be your wife?” She tried to be serious, but her lips curled into a smile without her consent. 

“I do.” Riley slid the ring on. Mac continued, “Do you, Mrs. Claus, take me to be your husband?” 

Riley made a show of thinking it over first. “I do.” He slid the ring—an engagement ring and wedding band fused together—onto her finger. She’d worn it before. Like Mac’s, it was white gold, but the tiny diamonds set into the bands made it glitter in the light. The engagement ring part had a princess cut diamond surrounded by more tiny diamonds, making the whole thing walk the fine line between opulent and gaudy. 

She looked up, and Mac’s soft smile made her want to melt in a puddle. “I’m going to kiss you now,” he announced, lacing their fingers together. 

“Okay.” Riley wrapped her arms around his neck. “You do that.” 

*****

They drove Riley’s Jeep to the hospital, since someone forgot to go to the gas station on his way home, and they were already late. They’d gotten a little distracted after their fake wedding. 

Mac rested his hand on Riley’s thigh while she drove. She leaned away from him, resting her left elbow on the door and holding the top of the steering wheel with her right. When Mac didn’t take the hint and started caressing her thigh instead, Riley batted his hand away. 

“Oh no,” she scolded. “We are not doing this right now.” Mac pouted in the passenger seat. 

They arrived at the hospital, hauling two massive bags of presents with them. The hospital administrator met them in the lobby to escort Riley and Mac to the children’s wing, thanking them and the think tank profusely for the entire duration of the walk.  She and Mac exchanged the same sly look they always did when someone referred to the Phoenix as a think tank.

Meeting the kids went by in a blur. Altogether too many young, bright faces swarmed the waiting room, clamoring to meet Santa and Mrs. Claus. With each kid she met, Riley was in awe of how they were all so positive and happy and full of laughter, even though many of them were so sick and would be spending Christmas in the hospital. 

The kids gravitated to Mac like moths to a flame. He sat and talked to each one, asking how they were doing and what they wanted for Christmas. They asked him ridiculous questions, like what snacks the elves like best and who his favorite reindeer was. In a classic Mac moment, he explained to a wide-eyed group of ten-year-olds that male reindeer lose their antlers every winter, so his reindeer are actually all females. 

Every time Mac walked past—which Riley suspected was far more times than necessary—he squeezed her arm or grazed a hand down her back, and Riley couldn’t help the smile curling her lips each time he did it. 

After a while, Riley gathered the kids and read a picture book version of ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. Pausing to show her young, captivated audience the pictures, she flicked her gaze to Mac. He stood in the back of the room with his arms crossed in a very un-Santa-like manner, chatting softly with one of the pediatricians. The rainbow lights of the Christmas tree behind him cast him in a warm, pink glow. 

The kid closest to her tugged on her coat, and Riley turned her attention to the girl. She was probably ten or so, with intense, dark eyes that probably never missed a thing. Including Riley’s wandering attention, apparently. “Are you checking out Santa?” she questioned. 

Caught. Riley cleared her throat. “Um—” Giggles erupted throughout her audience. “So what if I am? He’s very handsome.” 

The girl scrunched up her face. “Gross!” Riley joined in on the second wave of giggles before returning to the story. 

Later, after the chaos of opening presents, the adults rounded up all the kids and settled in to watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. The hospital administrator set it up so the movie projected on an empty wall. Mac pulled up a pair of chairs behind the projector and motioned for Riley to sit. Lacing their fingers together, Mac leaned over and kissed her cheek. “Thank you for doing this with me.” His expression was raw and unguarded. 

Riley squeezed his hand twice in response. “Are you kidding me? I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” 

They’d barely made it ten minutes into the movie when the shyest kid—a six-year-old boy wearing Spider-Man pajama pants who looked like a tiny version of Bozer—crawled into Riley’s lap. The boy didn’t say a word; he simply nuzzled his face into Riley’s shoulder and wrapped his tiny arms around her waist. Riley let go of Mac’s hand to pull the boy into her chest, where he fell asleep for the remainder of the movie. 

Afterward, Riley carried the boy back to his room while Mac started to say goodbye to the other kids. They’d been there more than half the day, and for many of the kids, it was time for blood tests or scans or chemo. Or maybe just a nap. 

Riley hugged the last kid goodbye with a bittersweet smile on her face. The little boy in her arms was so young, four or five at the most. Behind him, his mom mouthed, Thank you.

When the boy finally let go, Riley looked him square in the eye. "You be good, okay?" He giggled, nodding furiously before returning to his mom.

The boy and his mom walked away, leaving Riley and Mac alone in the waiting room. Riley stared after them. That had to be so hard, watching your kid have seizure after seizure and then spending days in the hospital, waiting for answers the doctors didn't have.

"Riles." Mac's low voice snapped her out of her thoughts. "You okay?"

She blinked. "Yeah, I was just thinking about that kid."

"I know," Mac sighed, rubbing his face. "He asked me if I could stop his seizures for Christmas."

Riley's heart clenched. "What did you say?"

"I told him I'd try my best."

Riley swallowed, trying to dislodge the lump in her throat. Without thinking, she drifted into Mac's embrace, hands finding purchase on his chest and resting her cheek on his shoulder. His arms circled her, pulling her tightly against him.

She couldn't string the right words together to describe how she was feeling. Sorrow, for the kid whose childhood was now destined to be filled with doctors and hospital trips. Empathy, for the single mom trying her best to remain positive for her kid's sake. Admiration, for the way Mac smiled reassuringly at the little boy despite the tears welling in his eyes. Riley settled for, "I love you." She kissed Mac's cheek.

Pressing his lips to the crown of her head, he said, "I love you too."

They stayed like that for a long time, only parting when Riley said, "Let's clean up and go home."

Remnants of wrapping paper and plastic packaging littered the floor—all that was left from the bag of presents they'd brought. Well, that and the glitter. The ungodly amount of glitter that was, to Riley's horror, everywhere.

She picked up a wad of half-crumpled wrapping paper, sending a flurry of gold glitter airborne. Most of it landed on her clothes. Great. She'd be finding those damn gold flecks for months.

Mac chuckled behind her. She whirled on him. "It's not funny!" she said with mock offence, sticking her tongue out at him.

But he wasn't looking at her face. His eyes tracked her every movement, lingering on the places where her off-white sweater dress hugged her curves beneath her long, red coat.

Riley made a show of brushing the glitter off her dress, starting from her knees and working upward, drawing Mac’s attention with her movement. When Mac's gaze finally reached her eyes, she winked before resuming not-so-innocently picking up wrapping paper. Riley kept her back to him, waiting for Mac to make the next move. 

Hands locked on her waist. Mac tugged her closer, his lips grazing her ear as he spoke. "I'd put myself on the naughty list for you."

Smirking, she replied, "Oh really." Riley glanced over her shoulder and had barely even realized Mac's face was still right there when his lips landed on hers, and he spun her to face him fully. The pile of wrapping paper she was holding fell to the ground at their feet, covering their boots in more glitter.

The kiss wasn't very good. Riley couldn't stop smiling, no matter how hard she tried to pull herself together enough to kiss him back instead of bursting out laughing. I'd put myself on the naughty list for you. He said that as if he were on the nice list in the first place. They broke way too many laws on a weekly basis for that to be true. Not to mention, Mac's non-consensual cell phone breaking alone was enough to put him on the naughty list for life.

"Are you just going to keep grinning like an idiot, or are you actually going to kiss me back?" he teased.

It took all of her concentration to pull off even the most chaste kiss. A little too eagerly for being in a hospital waiting room, Mac sucked on her lower lip and slid his tongue into her mouth, his hands sliding under her coat and caressing her sides.

Riley had just gotten it together enough to slip her own tongue in without getting a mouthful of teeth or fake beard when she heard a faint giggle. Her eyes snapped open, and she saw the cutest little girl peeking around a Christmas tree. 

“Santa, we have an audience,” she warned. 

Mac pulled away, blushing faintly, but his hands lingered on Riley’s stomach for an extra second. He gestured for the little girl to come closer. Sheepishly, she rolled out from behind the tree. Tinsel covered every available inch of her wheelchair, and the wheels lit up when she rolled in a way that reminded Riley of the light-up sneakers that were popular when she was a teenager. Not that she'd actually owned a pair, of course.

Mac squatted in front of the girl, whose wild blonde curls were equally unruly as Riley's own hair. "Were you spying on us?"

"Maybe," she said with a shrug.

Mac twisted to look at Riley. I like her. "What do you think, Mrs. Claus?" he asked. "Do spies get put on the naughty list?"

Yes. She winked. "I think this one can stay on the nice list. She managed to sneak up on Santa, after all. Very impressive."

The kid beamed. She had no idea.

"Yes," Mac said slowly, "very impressive." He turned back to the girl. "So, what do you want for Christmas?"

The girl listed a whole bunch of presents, claiming she wanted to give Santa options. Mac listened intently, nodding at all the right points.

Something warm bloomed in Riley's chest as she watched the scene unfolding in front of her. To say Mac was good with kids would be an understatement. When a kid spoke to him, he always gave them his full, undivided attention and took every word very seriously. When a kid was being serious, Mac was serious, and when a kid was acting silly, Mac would be twice as silly. And as a result, he could crack even the shyest and grumpiest of kids, and, more importantly, they would trust him. 

A thought popped into Riley's head. I want to have his babies. As if her body was reiterating what it already knew and her brain had just figured out, her hands unconsciously drifted to her abdomen. 

The same spot Mac's hands hands had lingered a minute ago, she realized with a start. Did...did he want kids with her too?

Riley wanted kids—she wanted kids with Mac—but she also knew that neither of them were ready to give up their job. They couldn’t keep doing what they did with a kid in the world. After growing up with absentee parents, they’d never risk leaving their kid to grow up without one or both parents. 

But when the time finally comes, when she and Mac are ready to trade in getting shot at and making stuff explode for stability and mundane normalcy, she won’t be able to wait any longer to start a family with him. 

She waited until they were in the Jeep before broaching the subject of kids. Tentatively, she began, "What were you thinking about back there when you put your hands on my stomach?" The look on his face then said he was definitely thinking about something, but Riley didn't want to assume what. 

Mac dodged her question. "Sorry, I didn't realize I did it." 

Riley knew that was a white lie, but she didn't call him on it. He'd answer honestly in his own time. Since it was too big a subject to outright ask him, Riley took a more subtle route instead. “Do you see yourself having kids?” 

His eyes widened in response. “You know I want kids.” 

That wasn’t what she meant. Wanting them and actively reshaping your life in order to have them were completely different things. “Yeah, but do you see yourself settling down, getting a safe, normal job, and raising kids?” They’d vaguely talked about this before, long ago, but Riley suddenly needed to ask him again. 

Mac was silent for a long time, staring out the front window. “Yeah, I do,” he finally said. “With the right person.” He glanced over at her, eyes softening. 

Me too, Riley wanted to say, but she choked on the words. It took her a couple tries, and the words came out strangled, but she was pretty sure Mac understood. Neither of them needed to say it directly in order for the other to understand: I want to have kids with you. 

Riley spent the rest of the drive fantasizing about the kid-filled Christmases in her future. She glanced down at the ring on her finger. First step, she thought. Get a real ring. 

[wiypt-writes]

Stark Spangled Banner

One Shot: Vanilla

Summary: A year on the run following the events in Siberia has changed Steve…but not too much. He’s still a man of simple tastes… Warning:  Language, SMUT (NSFW, 18+)

Pairings: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark.

A/N: This sits alongside SSB Ch 35: Not A Perfect Soldier, But A Good Man. I had it in my head for a while and couldn’t quite fit it in. And those of you who read “Leave No One Behind” might recognise a little of the scenery, so to speak.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Stark Spangled Banner Masterlist // Main Masterlist

August 2017

Another day, another under-the-radar mission. This one breaking up a gang that had been terrorising locals, running guns and arms, raiding local refugee camps and kidnapping children to ship out to god knows where, for god knows what.

Frankly, it had knocked Katie sick, so she had been only too glad to get out of there once they’d ‘dispensed’ the ring leader into the care of Fury’s contacts. Well, by that they mean they’d left him hog tied in the middle of the African desert at the co-ordinates they had been given. What happened to him, well, even the world’s sentinel of justice, honour and truth couldn’t find it within him to give a shit. Not after what they’d just seen anyway.

Katie stole a glance at Steve as they drove the ‘borrowed’ jeep back to where Sam had landed their jet. Their time on the run had hardened him. Over a year now spent in shadows, and it was almost as if those shadows had claimed part of him for themselves. His hair was longer, far longer, usually worn pushed back off his face but the exertion of the fight they’d just had, left the front strands flopping over his sweaty forehead. His beard was dark, and thick, speckled with the odd bit of copper and blonde here and there, hiding his jawline entirely and leaving his face almost completely unrecognisable.

To the average man on the street he looked like just another person, maybe worthy of a second glance for bearing a passing resemblance, maybe, to the fugitive Captain. The one thing that remained unchanged were his eyes. Whilst they were tired, carried a heavier burden than before, they were still the same eyes Katie had noticed and fallen in love with, and they still flashed with warmth and a sparkle whenever he looked at her.

And as long as that was there, she knew he was okay.

They reached the jet, Sam hopped down from the back of the jeep and headed in first over to the coms system, swiping at the screen.

“Hey, Steve?” He turned to his head back over his shoulder. Steve walked up the ramp, looking at Sam expectantly. “Fury’s patched us through the co-ordinates of a place to stay. Looks to be a hundred or so miles North. Might be worth holding up there for the night?”

Steve hesitated for a while, they’d been running missions back to back now for almost three weeks. He was desperate to get back…well, home he supposed. To their cottage in Scotland where they’d holed up for the past twelve months, where Wanda was currently waiting. But, as he glanced around, Sam’s face was sporting a nasty gash above his eyebrows, Natasha had taken a few hard digs too and was clutching her side and Katie had taken a heavy blow to the face, the bruise already forming on her cheek.

They were tired, whacked, maybe it was best they got their heads down and headed back in the morning.

“Alright.” Steve nodded. “Bring it up on the map.” Sam pressed a few buttons and then the holo-display sprang to life. Steve and Natasha observed the image, Natasha pointing to something, Steve agreeing before he straightened up and looked at Katie and Sam who were waiting patiently. “We were just staying it looks like a good spot we can land the jet. There’s nothing for miles, and it’s coastal.” “Coastal?” Katie frowned, before her eyes lit up “Like, there’s a beach?”

“Yeah.” Steve smiled, not bothering to point out that their cottage in Scotland basically had its own private one. “There’s a beach, Sweetheart.”

“It looks to be an old Diving Resort on the Red Sea.” Natasha mused, swiping at the screen. “According to Fury, one of his contacts in Mossad said they used it as a front for smuggling Jewish Refugees out of Ethiopia. Operation Brothers. You heard of it?”

Katie, Sam and Steve both exchanged glances before they shrugged.

“Not surprising, I think the information surrounding it was only declassified recently.” Natasha scratched her neck as she straightened up. “Long story short they saved thousands of lives. Smuggled refugees out of camps, and then shipped them out by boat back to Israel.”

“And they used a hotel as a front?” Katie arched an eyebrow.

“Diving resort.” Natasha nodded “Was fully functional too. Pretty damned clever if you ask me.”

“Is it safe?” Steve asked.

“Fury wouldn’t tell us to head there if it wasn’t” Katie replied simply, “We can go, check it out. If we don’t like it we can head home.”

***** Sam landed the jet expertly on the beach which was hidden in a large cove. They stepped off the ramp onto the sugar white sand and Katie looked around at the various huts scattered along the shore. The main body of the hotel itself seemed to be boarded up. The four of them split up into two groups of two under Steve’s instructions, and made their way around, carefully, making sure there was no one else there, checking each out building thoroughly. Eventually they met one another at the front of the sandstone building, all nodding to signal that there was no sign of anyone else.

“The Red Sea Diving Resort.” Sam read the faded red lettering over the top of the boarded up entrance “Imaginative.”

Katie gave a scoff as she shook her head “Well I don’t know about any of you lot but I need to wash up and get changed. I’m disgustingly hot in this.” She pulled at the collar of her combat-top and turned to head back towards the jet. Steve caught her up, sliding an arm round her waist and pressed a gentle kiss to her temple.

“We haven’t forgotten.” Sam called from behind them. They both stopped and Katie glanced at Steve who met her puzzled look with one of his own.

“Forgotten what?” He asked as they turned to look at Sam.

Sam blinked, then turned to Natasha who gave a snort “Clearly they have.”

“Have what?” Steve pressed again, his tone slightly less patient than it had been.

“It’s your wedding anniversary you pair of dumbasses.” Sam snorted “God you two are…”

Clearly he couldn’t decide what it was that Katie and Steve were, instead he trailed off and headed up the ramp into the jet. Natasha followed him as Katie and Steve remained on the sand, simply looking at one another, before they both burst out into laughter.

“Oh my God.” Katie stuttered “We forgot!”

“Well, we have kinda been busy, Doll.” Steve teased, before he shook his head and smiled “I haven’t forgotten that day though. Happiest day of my life.”

Katie smiled, “Mine too.”

He gently raised her hand to his mouth, brushing her knuckles with his mouth before they too headed onto the ramp and grabbed their kit bags.

The four ex-agents walked down the sand, towards the huts they had checked earlier. They selected one each, the fact that Natasha and Sam headed a little further down the beach away from the one Steve had picked for him and Katie didn’t go unnoticed by the super soldier. Something Steve had noticed when he had looked around was how reasonably clean it was. He’d expected things to be covered in a layer of dust but it was fairly habitable. As Katie set about searching the drawers for something to make the bed with, he headed into the small bathroom at the back, turning the taps on. After an initial cough and a splutter, the system kicked in and the water began to run. Orange from sand and rust at first as it splattered the white porcelain bowl. Steve left it going whilst he moved back into the main room and saw Katie was holding what looked like an old polaroid photo.

“Look at this.” She smiled gently. “I found it when I was looking for some bed sheets.”

Steve glanced down at the photo which showed a tall dark haired, bearded man stood with his arm round a shorter, dark haired slim woman, both looking at the camera, smiling . At their feet sat, quite frankly, the ugliest dog Steve had ever seen. It was hairless, but he still couldn’t help but admit it was cute in a strange way.

“They must have been part of the team that ran the Mossad Op.” Katie shrugged. “He kinda looks a bit like you actually.”

“I don’t see it.” Steve wrinkled his face and she shrugged, moving to put the photo back in the drawer. “I found the bathroom, water is still running but not sure if it’s gonna be heated or…”

“I don’t need it heated.” Katie shook her head. “Frankly the colder the better. Now, help me get this bed sorted and then we can wash up and maybe we can spend what’s left of the Anniversary we forgot sat out on the sand?”

Steve chuckled, pulling her closer to him, both hands on her hips. He dropped his face to hers, catching her lips in a soft kiss. “Sounds good to me.”

After a quick shower each they headed back outside, where Sam and Natasha were already sat. And it turns out their friends were indeed far better at remembering their anniversary than they were. Along with their normal supplies, Sam had stashed a crate of beer on the jet, hidden in the cooler and Natasha had also managed a bottle of the same champagne they had served at the wedding, although instead of drinking it out of crystal flutes, it was sipped from mugs Natasha had dug out of the jet, which bore the Avengers symbol, a harsh reminder of the life they had all run from little over twelve months previously.

The four of them sat on the up turned logs, dotted around what, Steve correctly guessed, had been some sort of fire pit, talking quietly, watching the sun set over the ocean. It was peaceful and Steve felt like they could almost have been on vacation.

Almost.

Steve felt Katie sagging next to him and turned to see that she had her eyes closed, head resting on his shoulder. He placed a soft kiss to her head and then looked at the rest of his team. Sam’s head was drooping a little and Natasha’s eyes were heavy. He issued a soft instruction to go to bed and they both looked at him, giving him a nod and Katie stirred a little. In a graceful movement, Steve had swept her into his arms and he carried her, not unlike the way he had done two years ago that very night, to their accommodation for the evening. She sat on the edge of the bed, removing her shorts leaving her in her panties and tank top as she climbed under the scratchy sheets, Steve settling down besides her.

“Night sweetheart.” He muttered, kissing her neck as he pulled her to him, her back pressing into his chest.

“Night Soldier.” She whispered back, closing her eyes.

**** Steve turned over for what felt like the tenth time in as many minutes. He couldn’t get comfortable, and then there was the simple, yet slight complication to the situation that he’d woken from a particularly graphic dream about their honeymoon, and now he was fucking horny as hell.

He rolled onto his back, his head turning towards Katie and his eyes scanned over her face as she slept. He took in the shape of her nose, soft curve of her lips and his eye-line flickered down to the swell of her breasts which were visible under the cami she was wearing.

Okay, so that wasn’t helping. At all.

She gave a soft sigh, moving a little, her legs kicking down the sheets slightly so they fell around her hips and that was the point Steve’s already fraying self-control snapped. Shuffling closer, he pressed his lips to hers, before he moved his mouth to her jawline, down her neck, leaving soft, hot kisses on her skin as he went. His hand gently curled around her hip, fingers digging into the flesh ever so slightly and she gave a little murmur, her eye lids fluttering as his lips moved back to hers. And this time, she reciprocated slightly. His lips dropped downwards, his tongue dipping into the hollow of her throat before his affections turned to her delicate collar bone. With a gentle shift of his body, he went even lower still, his calloused hands sliding along her ribcage as he slid her cami top upwards, exposing her breasts. His large hands cupped them, thumbs brushing over her nipples and at that he felt her really respond with a soft whimper, her back arching slightly into his touch.

With one hand he traced the curve of her hip down the outside of her thigh, before he trailed his fingers across her belly, and then her soft whimpers became a harsh gasp as his fingers entered her, curling softly against her insides, coaxing more and more wetness from her as he moved, his mouth continuing to lick and sucking at her breasts. She arched her back, writhing, desperately moving her hips as she sought out the friction she needed between her legs and Steve obliged, moving his hand so the heel of his palm brushed against her clit. With a strangled moan, which she stifled slightly by turning her head into his arm, she came, her body shaking on the mattress, sheets now pushed well out of the way.

Steve’s mouth claimed hers once more, in a searing kiss as he let out a groan of his own when he felt Katie dip her hand into his boxers, wrapping her hand around his achingly hard cock.  Every inch of him was on fire and he wanted her.

“Need you.” His voice was low with desire as he pressed his lips back to her neck, nipping at the spot beneath her ear. “Want you.”

“You got me.” She whispered. “I’m yours, Stevie.”

At her words he gave a low groan, sitting up slightly so that he could pull her underwear down. He wriggled out of his own, before he settled over her, his mouth finding hers again the pair of them letting out a shaky sigh and a moan each as he entered her.

Her hands gently slid down over his back, feeling the expanse of muscle which twitched under her finger tips as he moved, slowly, deeply. Every roll of his hips sent his pelvis rocking up against her spot. Katie glanced up at him, his lips kiss swollen, eyes blown with desire, hair falling forward over his forehead. She reached up to brush it back, her hands tangling in the long strands and she pulled his face down to hers, locking their lips in a sloppy, filthy kiss.

Fuck, Steve Rogers loved sex with his wife anyway he could get it, but this, well, he was a sucker for simple vanilla and Katie was too. There was something about this position, the boring missionary one that drove both of them wild. The way Steve could cage her in his arms, fuck her into the mattress one day or make love to her the next. The way his large frame engulfed hers completely surrounding her, filling each one of her senses.  The way he controlled the pace completely, driving into her again and again until she could no longer think straight. The way he controlled the depth, sometimes using his arms under her knees to hold her open, or slinging her legs over her shoulders.  

It was a plain, vanilla flavoured heaven. One that they could visit time and time again, and would never get bored of tasting.

Steve drove as deep into his wife as he could get, rotating his hips slightly whilst he was fully seated, causing her to gasp and emit a frankly sinful moan which he swallowed with his mouth. Her hands dug into the skin of his shoulder blades and he moved, grabbing her wrists and pulling them round so he could lace his fingers between hers. Pinning her hands either side of her head he picked up his pace slightly, carefully watching her face as he felt her tightening around him slightly, a tell-tale sign she was close.

“Come on, pretty girl.” Steve panted, his lips by her ear as he gave a soft nip to her neck. “Give it to me, baby.”

The sensation and heat which was building in her core was impossible to ignore. Her breathy pants of his name became faster, as did Steve’s movements, and with a last, broken cry of his name the fire exploded in her belly and she came, hard, her orgasm rolling over her in wave after wave of white hot pleasure, which left her boneless underneath Steve, her nails digging into the backs of his hands. The sensation of feeling her around him was enough, and Steve gave a single, strangled cry of her name as he too reached his peak, his hips faltering as the ribbons in his belly untangled, the pleasure spreading from the toes to the very hair on his head.

He pressed his face into Katie’s neck, placing another soft kiss to her pulse point which left his lips salty from the slight gleen of sweat which coated them both. He pulled back slightly, releasing Katie’s hands as she flexed her fingers, knowing full well what she wanted. And, sure enough, her fingers threaded through his long hair, scratching softly at the nape of his neck. His eyes closed, and the pair of them lay in silence, completely blissed out and relaxed, hearing only each other’s gradually steadying breaths which mingled with the sounds of the waves lapping against the shore outside.

Katie felt Steve’s lips press to her forehead and she smiled softly, opening her eyes to look straight into his, those baby blues spattered with green.

“Happy Anniversary, Gorgeous.” He muttered, his lips catching hers.

“Its past midnight.” She replied gently

“Not at home.” He replied softly, before he swallowed and hung his head. “I’m sorry it has to be like this.”

“Steve, I am home.” Katie looked at him, her hands moving to cup his face “My home is with you.” She guided his head down so that his lips met hers again, her hands gently tangling in his beard “It always will be, you know this.” She whispered against his mouth before she kissed him, deeply, wriggling a little. Steve gave a short grunt and she felt him starting to twitch inside her again. With an arch of her eyebrow she tipped her pelvis up and in a flash Steve had reached up, pinning her wrists down by her head.

“Keep going and imma be hard again in about five seconds flat.” He whispered, and Katie grinned.

“I’m counting on it, Soldier.��� She smirked “Because I’ve got a hankering for some more plain old vanilla.”

**** Chapter 36 Part 1

**Original Posting**

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

Sigh. It’s quiet today, so I guess it’s about time to talk about 12x06: Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox.  

This is an episode without Cas, so clearly it revolves entirely around Cas (I'm kidding, but only a little bit).  It’s also a bottle episode and a meta writer’s wet dream, so excuse me while I nerd out - this is a long one to unpack, and I have spent too much time doing it for you.  That’s ok because, as Sam says:

DIVE IN AFTER THE CUT BUDDIES!

The Asa montage is where we start.

Asa is a Dean mirror. The parallels are pretty clear - he’s a scruffy rough around the edges hunter, Mary is the reason he got into hunting, he wears a ton of flannel, etc.  If you remain unsure, the writers throw this in at the very beginning in the montage of Asa’s life as a hunter So That You Know:

Bucky: Hey, you know they make new cars, right? Asa: I don’t want a new car. This is my lucky car. 

***Canadian!Dean confirmed.

Shaine Jones may also be the Canadian Jensen Ackles.

I don’t make the rules ok?

Back in the US, the boys surprise Jody with a visit. 

In case you forgot the episode prior to this one:

Side note: domestic Jody gives me life. 

We’re clearly supposed to see how Jody is a mom figure for the boys, and it feels nice for them to have that, especially since Mary is Taking Some Space.  Their entire dynamic warms even my cold black soul.

[romantic scene of a couple silhouetted against a sunset while sweeping music plays on Jody’s TV. The couple kisses.] 

DEAN

[his mouth full of pizza] Jody, you watching some kind of chick flick here?

JODY

Well, Dean. I’m a chick. 

Kim Rhodes YOU ARE A DELIGHT.  A side note - I know this exchange is supposed to be funny, but I feel sad for Dean (who clearly is a rom com chick).  This is a perfect example of Dean struggling to present some fabricated image of heteronormative masculinity that’s not the heart of who he actually is.  His surprise that a “badass sheriff chick” can also enjoy rom coms makes me fucking upset.  

ALSO:

Anyway, Asa has passed on and the boys tag along with Jody to the wake in support.  

SAM

Yeah, no, Jody. We… we know you’ll be fine, but… you know, we never go to hunter gatherings, outside of bars. Dad always said they were trouble, so…

DEAN

Yes, you’d be doing us a favor if you let us tag along.

***more receipts that John Winchester was an isolating abuser.  They could have at least had a normal HUNTER life and friends who hunted.

SAM  

That is a big house. [Music continues playing, coming from inside the house now]

***We now establish one “theme” of the episode.

JODY

Family home. Asa was just a guy. 

AKA pretty brutal implication that Asa didn’t have a family of his own.

Speaking of implications:

[Jody removes her coat and the three of them begin mingling. Dean finds his way to the kitchen and a cooler full of beer] DEAN

No label. Well, that’s a red flag. 

****LOL WHAT THE FUCK IS THE REASON****

....

....

....

GIRL SEND HELP

Enter Bucky, who is actually (SPOILER!) the villain of the episode.

Do all hunters just walk around with this manly flannel/weird symbolic necklace combo?  Looking at you Bucky and Dean.  

Dean is surprised to find that people know who he is:

But doesn’t seem to have an issue with it until -

***Someone who just bragged the entire five hour car ride about killing Hitler shouldn’t be this concerned about what people are saying about him right? 

Or is he thinking it may involve something he isn’t comfortable sharing - since apparently there are things Dean doesn’t feel comfortable sharing as established by the prior couch conversation with Jody?  Hmmmmmm...

***Compare the expressions.  The “you’ve died four times” response is the same as the smug/proud “I killed Hitler” face.  The reaction to the “stories” is the “hey this is my personal business” reaction Dean had to Sam’s Japanese erotica art form comment. He is thinking specifically about something personal.

I wonder what it could be.

I don’t think any one had to teach Max Banes the art of seduction, but also thank you.

Also, manifesting Dean being raised by Max and Alicia’s Cool Witch Mom instead of John Trash Winchester.  Because that’s what we’re supposed to think here, correct?  Two sibling hunters usually present a brother mirror.

Worth noting Sam’s surprise that witches can also be hunters.  The John Winchester Bigotry Brain Rot runs deep.  (GOD the Sam-witch thing would have driven him crazy I LIVE FOR THAT).

Dean escapes to Asa’s office/room and proceeds to go through his things.

[Dean is in Asa’s office and finds an angel blade mounted on blue velvet inside an ornate glass-lidded box. He opens it, reaches in and pulls out the angel blade, comfortably spinning it in his hand when Sam walks in.]

SAM

Hey.

DEAN

Oh, hi. This is a real Angel Blade. I mean, this guy was legit. 

***that’s weird, why does Canadian!Dean have an angel blade?  We haven’t heard anything about angels yet, and it wasn’t in the opening montage.  Hmmmmmm, I say. Hmmmmmmm...

***Sam is also concerned about The Stories They Tell 

This one particularly:

Honestly I don’t know why he’s THAT surprised that people know he was possessed by Lucifer?  Didn’t he start like multiple apocalypses?  That’s something people tend to be in the know about. Anyhoo.

DEAN

Yeah. Apparently we’re a little bit legendary. 

SAM 

Yeah, but, I mean, so was Asa. Then a hunt went bad, and he ended up hanging from a tree, alone in the woods.

DEAN

He died on the job. No better way to go. 

SAM

You really believe that? 

DEAN

Yeah. What, you don’t? I mean, come on, Sam, it's not like we're in the “live till you're 90, die in your sleep” business. This? [Dean points at Asa’s hunting wall] This only ends one way. 

***Insert deep internal screaming about 15x20 here***

It’s Jody’s turn to be uncomfortable as we find out she and Asa were more than just friends and everyone knew it and Said Things About It and Told Stories About It.

HMMMMMMM...

Dean is surprised that Jody not only enjoys rom coms, but ruggedly hot men. Another thing they have in common.

As Dean comes to terms with the idea that Jody can be a mother figure and also a human person with a life and her own feelings and needs and thoughts, enter the person whom said lesson is actually about:

This is a Kim Rhodes Facial Expression stan account now.

So cute how Jody knows immediately that Dean is not okay.  Time to reach:

JODY

Huh. Is that why you spent the entire ride up here telling me in extreme, excruciating detail how you killed Hitler, but, uh, you neglected to mention the fact that your mom is back from the dead? 

***look, it’s another Dean doesn’t like others knowing personal information parallel!***

DEAN 

Yeah, no big deal. 

JODY

That’s a lie.

DEAN

JODY …

JODY

Look, maybe this isn't my place, and this is epic stuff, but

JODY

Yeah. Because what if I’ve changed. What if they changed? What if it just didn’t work out the way I wanted?  If you wanna talk about anything

***Killing Hitler used yet again to show Dean doesn’t care about oversharing hunting stories, but he doesn’t like for people to know personal ones.  Also, Jody mentions her son and her husband.  Her family and her romantic partner.  

Dean wasn’t just reunited with Mary this season. He was also reunited with Cas, after saying goodbye to him at the end of Season 11 when he headed to what he thought was going to be his death as the Amara-bomb.

So, this conversation isn't just about Mary (the “anything”).  It’s also about Cas (the”...absolutely anything”).

Mary chats with Mama Fox and more Points Are Made about hunters not getting to have a “normal life” or family:

MARY

I saved his life. 

LORRAINE

[scoffing] What am I supposed to say to that? After you, Asa got so… Hunting was his whole life. He never married. Never had a family, kids. And now… enjoy the wake. 

***sending Mary on a guilt spiral about Asa (mirroring her other guilt spiral about hunting as a life for her own sons)

Speaking of mirrors:

BUCKY

And Asa loved that Jeep. Fuses were shorted, fuel line was busted. Ah, he didn’t care. He’d just roll up his sleeves, he’d get right to work. 

Time to learn about today’s Big Bad.

BUCKY

Jael. He’s a crossroads demon. And he hangs people. It’s his thing. Snaps their neck, slits their throat. He’s a real piece of work. 

***Wait a second.  Jael is a demon?  Don’t...angel’s names usually end in “el” in SPNverse?

Samandriel.

Uriel.

Gabriel.

Raphael.

Gadreel.

Castiel.

HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM.

Anyways the demon [questionable] killed Asa and now everyone  is trapped and also In Grave Danger.  

BUCKY

Exactly. Right, so five years later, Jael– he came back, and he came for Asa. 

JODY

How so? 

BUCKY

Asa was seeing this woman, right? She had a kid. 

LORRAINE

Marlene. 

BUCKY

Yeah, Marlene. Jael got into her. It didn’t matter that he was killing people, he wanted Asa to know it was personal. He gets off on it. 

***that’s so weird, didn’t someone else in the show start seeing a woman with a kid - 

what a sexy little coincidence.

oh and didnt  a supernatural being come back right around that time too - 

HMMMMMMMM.  No killing though.  That’s the difference between angels and demons, I guess.

(meanwhile Dean has been drinking alone outside - as he does, and is realizing he can’t get back in)

HI QUEEN

Also, this immediately took me to 

this show isn’t fair.

****sob break****

Jael Posession 1:

So curious how there are two siblings and then one gets possessed by something Satanic and the other one is good at seducing men.

SO FUCKING CURIOUS.

Jael Possession 2:

Elvis. Random.  Though he was the guy who brought up the Stories Sam Was Surprised Were Circulating -

He was also oddly interested in it.  Methinks Elvis thoroughly enjoyed the Jael possession.

Bilie gets Dean back in the house.  The words “one-time deal” are said a lot of times.

BONUS: Jensen why are you so pretty:

The hunters get to work, and I live for Max Bane’s pentagram aesthetic.

MAX

I like a Fifth Pentacle of Mars. It’s got more character. 

***TBH, same.

Jael possession 3:

****Kim Rhodes is even better when she is playing evil.

JODY/JAEL:

I had so hoped you’d kill your mom. Wouldn’t that be a riot? 

[Mary draws the angel blade and charges at Jody. She cuts Jody’s arm before Sam wrestles her away.] 

SAM

No! Mom!

MARY

What are you doing?! She’s a demon. We kill demons. 

******WOOF MARY - I REPEAT TO YOU THAT THE JOHN TRASH WINCHESTER BRAIN ROT RUNS DEEP.

Also did you immediately flash back to this with me?

Gets me thinking that Dean’s feelings for Cas are made twice as complicated by the fact that he is also a supernatural creature.  Another Reason Why John Winchester Would Disapprove.

****Just as he would Disapprove of Sam Being Possessed By the Devil and all that (never forget he told Dean to kill him because of the whole made unclean by demon blood thing). 

Right on cue:

JODY/JAEL

Oh, I have heard so many stories about you Winchesters. And I desperately want the Lucifer thing to be true.  

***Stories again. Jael proceeds to go into Stories That Are Dark Personal Shameful Secrets:

JAEL

As for the rest of you, I have been inside your heads. I know all about you. For example, the twins. Too frightened to tell anyone that they actually came to say goodbye to their daddy. Or the grieving mother who hated the fact that her son was a hunter so much she’d hide his gear, she’d sabotage his Jeep, anything to keep him from hunting. Not that it worked. Could’ve tried harder, huh? 

[She gestures at her own face] And this meatsuit you all seem to care so much about. She actually fantasized about a life with Asa. Can you believe that? Like that worthless man– 

***HMMMMMMMMM

[Bucky gets off the floor and sneaks up behind Jody/Jael] 

BUCKY 

Shut your filthy mouth. 

[Jody/Jael grabs Bucky by the neck and forces him to his knees] 

JODY/JAEL

And you. Bucky. Brave, brave Bucky. I was there that night. Tell these nice, stupid people what you did. Tell them what you took from me. Asa was mine. 

***Excuse me? THIS IS GETTING VERY...subtextual.  A dark timeline supernatural being/hunter relationship [ending badly because demons only know how to take, consume and possess]? ...Asael?  CURIOUS. 

They chant the exorcism, a different hunter doing each iteration (beautifully done) 

and send Jael back to hell, but not before Bucky shares his Shameful Story - he’s the one who killed Asa.

Elaboration:

BUCKY

Asa, he was just all– he was just always so stubborn. Look, we were in the woods. [We see the scene play out as Bucky describes it] Jael, he… he was taunting him. Asa wanted to chase him, but he didn’t have the angel blade. I said, “Let’s go back.” He called me a coward, and he shoved me, so I shoved him back, and he fell. He hit his head. Asa? I didn’t mean to do it. But it was a mistake. Asa. Asa? An accident. I’m sorry. I didn’t know what to do. Asa hated that damn demon so much that I just…

DEAN

Oh, you thought people would buy that Jael killed him? So you hung your best friend to cover your own ass. 

BUCKY

What are you gonna do to me? 

ALICIA:

Tell everyone, every hunter we meet. They’re gonna know your name, Bucky. Know what you did. 

MAX

You like stories. This is the story everyone’s gonna tell about you. Forever. 

***Shameful Stories that Define You, what a theme.  Also, definitely a supernatural being potentially having some subtextual feelings for Canadian!Dean.  Hmmm.

***Funeral pyre and side discussion about how Asa did have a family, and children, and a potential supernatural sidepiece.

In conclusion, Supernatural is a love story.  Thank you for watching this dark timeline/Canadian dub.  You’re dismissed for the day.  Go eat bacon.