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#found this drawing while going through some old art with a friend and
narcissisticnugget · 11 months
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【インフルエンサー・イズ・デッド】
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moonlight-mellohi · 1 year
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OK Tumblr people who follow for art you can have this from my Instagram too ig
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strawbeelemonade · 1 year
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PLATONIC HEADCANNONS: being miles morales best friend but your also a bit insane (Part 2!)
i'm gonna try to remember to start specifying when something is intended to be platonic or romantic.
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🕷- I was literally unable to cram everything I wanted to say in the first one.
🕷- Miles is really only comfortable showing you his drawings.
🕷- He's an incredibly awkward guy, but the words come so easily when he hangs out with you. he doesn't choke up like he does with other people at school.
🕷- When he gets his powers his first instinct is to call you. He’s literally halfway through punching your number into the keypad until he stops and decides against it. He knows your number off by heart now.
🕷- You appear and disappear like a ghost its so random.
🕷- Honest to god, he lowkey thought you were homeless until you invited him over to watch Barbie Mermaidia.
🕷- “Bibble is so me.”
🕷- He’s the only person you let over at your place. its small and in the basement of an old apartment complex. the landlord couldn’t get anyone to pay to live there. you live alone.
🕷- You struck a deal, and they let you crash there as long as rent was on time and you fixed their washing machine for free.
🕷- Miles asked how you got to live there for so cheap. You tell him it’s because someone died on the couch he was sitting on.
🕷- He sits on the floor.
🕷- Miles is so eager to share his new powers with someone.
🕷- No seriously, between all the stress and lying and anxiety its nice to let himself get excited about it. To let himself have fun and see what he can do.
🕷- You guys TOTALLY video tape him trying out his new powers for the first time.
🕷- I can imagine you finding an abandoned alleyway on some random ass street after school and filming Miles Trying to do a backflip LMAO.
🕷- You gotta fish him out of a trashcan after he tries to spider climb up the wall.
🕷- You know that thing where a group of friends duck tapes one of their friends to a wall for fun? You get miles to do that to you.
🕷- You guys can’t stop laughing, The best memories of your lives are in those videos.
🕷- He’ll take you up to the top of buildings to show you the graffiti art he painted!! he’ll let you sign it off with a dick and balls or a heart if you want. You guys do homework up there together as well.
🕷- ’M & (Y/I) were here’ has been painted on every available surface of New York.
🕷- You both have the bright idea to hop on his back and go web slinging around the neighbourhood. He can carry you easily.
🕷- Miles decides If you don’t tell him to slow down, then he’s not going fast enough.
🕷- You NEVER tell him to slow down.
🕷- “Faster!!!“
🕷- Now that he’s got super strength he can put you in an inescapable headlock, he doesn’t do it too tight but he holds you there until you tap out.
🕷- He takes you to the coolest spots with the best views.
🕷- You regularly cover for him.
🕷- “We were at Jamba Juice the whole time officer I swear.”
🕷- Miles side eyes you knowing damn well he was no where NEAR a Jamba Juice.
🕷- ’Thanks’ he��d mouth.
🕷- You and Petter B will get along like a house on fire.
🕷- While Miles is extremely unimpressed by him, you don’t seem to care about any pre-existing expectations one might have when you think of the guy behind the mask of Spider-Man, your cracking jokes and feeding your pet rat a couple of French fries while the three of you sit in the diner, planning your next moves carefully.
🕷- Peter B can tell you’re a good kid. He’s at an age where a lot of your batshit tendencies don’t really faze him as long as your not hurting yourself.
🕷- Speaking of which.
🕷- When him and Miles get the chance to talk alone he warns him that he needs to be careful.
🕷- He tells him that normal relationships aren’t possible anymore. And stresses to him what a life like this can mean for your loved ones. especially since you found out his secret. This line of work isn’t just dangerous for Miles, but for you as well.
🕷- Miles is a little shaken after the conversation, no matter how gently Peter tries to put it. But what he’s implying is clear. He tries to shake it off and enjoy the time you both spend together. He won’t admit to himself that Peter is right just yet.
🕷- It’s just so easy to tell you everything and rely on you.
🕷- There will be a moment sometime in the future when reality sets in, but for now Miles makes the same mistake every Spider-Man does.
🕷- He has a best friend. :(
🕷- On the other hand, Peter comes to the staggering realisation that your actually extremely prone to accidents and danger all on your own. And he appropriately does a complete 180 from ‘casually distant bum-uncle' to ‘I am your dad now’.
🕷- It’s Nothing personal, kid. now stop trying to get in the middle of fights with dangerous criminals and let the adult— or at least the guys with super strength, stamina, speed and resilience— handle it.
🕷- He demands you stay out of the crossfire, but, to no one’s surprise you don’t listen.
🕷- You’re willing to throw yourself in front of Miles to shield him from anything, much to your best friends terror.
🕷- You hold your own surprisingly well against opponents that would be considered reasonable threats otherwise. You’re resourceful, grabbing anything and everything you can get your hands on. you get a terrifying look in your eye.
🕷- No matter how impressed Peter is, He will slingshot you around with his web-shooters to propel you out of the way of oncoming attacks. He will do this for both of you, but feels the need to do it less for Miles. He knows he can take what’s on the other end of the punch. But No matter how untouchable you make yourself out to be, you can’t.
🕷- “Do I want kids?”
🕷- He takes you on as his responsibility just as much as he does Miles.
🕷- Spider-Gwen also looks out for you in battle.
🕷- She’s more laid back, and even a little suave about it too.
🕷- She secretly wishes she had someone like you in her universe. What she wouldn’t give to decompress with you after a long day of patrolling New York.
🕷- She’s actually the most normal about you having a pet rat. You know, the one you grabbed out of a garbage can in a subway station. Yeah, That rat.
🕷- Miles watches you both get along like a house on fire and just quietly falls behind you both since he’s not sure what to do or say.
🕷- He’s so awkward, poor guy.
🕷- Your tendency to go off for days at a time ignites everyone’s curiosity. it’s a concerning habit, and Gwen even endeavours to follow you to see where you disappear to so often.
🕷- She’s unsuccessful.
🕷- It's never said out loud, but when she’s facing the one-way ticket home she finds herself wanting to stay just a bit longer. Not just for Miles, but for you to… She wonders what you’ll get up to while she’s gone.
🕷- …
🕷- Peter Porker vibes with you so hard.
🕷- no wait don’t scroll away wait
🕷- he WILL gift you the freakishly large cartoon mallet. Sorry, but miles didn’t appreciate it for what it was.
🕷- He would be cracking jokes and doing bits with you through out the whole goddamn movie.
🕷- Miles can usually let you do your own thing without sparing a second glance, but the looney tunes laws of physics that Porker exhibits WILL rub off on you at least a little.
🕷- It’s contagious. And when you start flattening eachother into to perfect discs it freaks everyone out a little.
🕷- He’s got enough to worry about in the plot,,, Damn,,
🕷- Spider Noir teaches you how to throw a good punch
🕷- in exchange you let him mess with your phone as much as he wants
🕷- "how the hell do you work this thing?"
🕷- He likes you, he thinks you got a lot of guts.
🕷- You were actually the one to design Miles’ suit. He took inspiration from one of your drawings in your school notebook.
🕷- You've always believed in him, and that made him believe in himself too.
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tadc-ragatha · 7 months
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Them Receiving a Drawing of Themselves
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TW: breakdowns/shutdowns, gender dysphoria, crying
Type: Headcanons
A/N: "Reader discusses what they and the members used to look like, and decides to draw an artist's interpretation of that description with startling accuracy." As of posting, requests are open. Includes only the main six (who I shall now call the digital six/circus crew). Spoilers. Body-sickness = homesickness for body.
Pomni
I'm going to make this interesting for myself and go with the theory that when she saw herself in the mirror she got a bunch of gender euphoria because she's trans. So, for this, she probably wouldn't even bring up her old appearance on her own unless heavily prompted to. Even then, she's really awkward about it, and everyone probably gets the memo that she's at least insecure about her old looks.
Not you, though. You decided to take it upon yourself to draw her. You paid attention to every detail she said, and compiled it all together to create a drawing/painting of the real-world Pomni. She was...Less than enthusiastic. At first, she's angry, even. But once she realises you didn't know, she just turns to going down a crisis of reality and homesickness instead.
If we don't go with that theory, then she still has a crisis. She'd finally started to push her thoughts of home to the edge of her mind, and now it's brought up to the front again. It's best to just not make art of her.
Ragatha
You probably found out about Ragatha through a breakdown of hers. She'd been holding up the happy-go-lucky, optimistic, cheery persona for so long that it was bound to snap. And so, one day the dam had a leak that turned into a full-on collapse. She was crying and talking about how she missed home and her real body. She was starting to forget what she looked like, and it was driving her to the edge.
In an effort to not have her abstracted, you took it upon yourself to give her something to hold on to. You took mental notes of each thing she said about herself and once everything was safe, you went to your room. Taking out your art equipment, you got to work on trying your best to recreate what she looked like.
In the end, you made a bunch of different ones. Presenting them to her, she was surprised and sad. It fueled her homesickness even more. But she covered it up and accepted it; she knew it was out of love, after all. And after she calmed down she did get to looking at them properly and it did give her some comfort to recognise herself and know that she wouldn't forget herself just yet.
Jax
I feel like Jax cared a lot about his appearance. Really, this is just based on that moment where he checks his non-existent nails, but I digress. Either way, he was probably just complaining like normal when it happened. He didn't really care about what he was saying (on the outside, at least); he was just bored and wanting to talk. But you made it your mission to make him feel better about his "body-sickness".
When he received the gift, he would've tried to play it off real quick. Truth be told, depending on how long you had been in the DC he probably would've made fun of your art. But you could see his initial reaction being one of surprise. Still, he would've tried to twist it and tease you about supposedly having a crush on him or trying to be his friend (a "useless attempt" is what he would say).
He probably tried to just chuck it under his bed when he got to his room. But after a little while the temptation was too much and he grabbed it. Looking it over, it was creepy how on point it was. To be honest, he was half-convinced you had known him outside of the digital world. Either way, he was secretly pretty grateful for it and glad you had had that otherwise useless conversation. But he would never tell you that.
Kinger
Kinger would've just asked what you looked like and that would've led to talking about him. I feel like he's got a sort of dad vibe in the way that he'd make up grand stories about himself. Like, he was a world-famous Broadway star or something. But he'd drop the act and tell you he was just joking. Either way, he ended up telling you about his looks.
When drawing him, you realised just how old he was. Not in a bad way, but you did still feel bad for him. He had lived half a life already before being trapped in the DC, and then he had been there the longest. Who knew what had happened to him; what he had lived through, who he had cared about before all this happened. It made you sad.
Giving him the present, though, he was very grateful and told you such. It had been so long since he had seen anything that looked like him, and to have something so accurate seemed nothing short of a miracle. He was sure to show it off to everyone and soon the whole circus crew was wanting their own.
Gangle
Gangle is an artist herself, and you were likely drawing together when the conversation of drawing each other came up. At first, you just made art of each other's current bodies, but soon you were discussing what you looked like before being trapped in the DC. Thankfully for Gangle, her comedy mask hadn't yet been broken by Jax, so she wasn't too depressed when talking about it.
I bet she put a lot of effort into drawing you. Though, her style isn't realistic, so it looked very anime-ified. Still, the hair and eye colour matched. You put a lot of effort into making art of Gangle, too. Though, you were almost photo-realistic (when you had the time and resources) in your art, so yours turned out much more accurate.
When Gangle saw what she looked like, her comedy mask came right off and she started bawling. She hadn't seen herself in forever, and just couldn't handle it. She was so, so grateful, though, to have the opportunity to see herself again. But she didn't dare tell anyone; she wasn't sure that you'd want everyone bugging you for a picture.
Zooble
Zooble doesn't strike me as someone who'd want to talk about their past. She seems to me like someone who's very in-the-present (well, as in the present as someone who's been thrown into a digital world can be). You'd have to really be friends with her and encourage him to talk about what they looked like.
Still, when he does, she goes into some detail. You listen like a bat to every word they say. And once you leave, you rush straight to your room to start on the project. It's a bit weird imagining Zooble as a living, breathing person in the past instead of an abstract collection of living shapes, but it's also humbling to be reminded you weren't the only person to really lose your body.
Receiving the completed project, Zooble is pretty calm about it. Something along the lines of "oh, wow, you didn't have to do that" is what they'd say. But she takes it from you anyway and is sure to keep it in a safe and secure spot where Jax won't be able to ruin it. And oh boy, if he does, they will be after him.
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nyanggk · 2 years
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PICTURE PERFECT: PARK JAYS F*CK LIST — p. js
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SYNOPSIS park jay is known around your campus as a resident fuck boy. him and his friends compete in a game wherein by the end of the year, they have to complete their fuck list in order to win, but what happens when jay meets a girl who can resist his charms?
PAIRING rugby player jay × art club member reader
GENRE smut with plot, highschool au, romance , enemies to lovers, romance comedy kinda
WARNING(S) profanity, dark humour, discrimination, dubcon, alcohol consumption, bullying, smut, dom/sub dynamics (sub!jay, dom!reader), making out, corruption, degradation, male masturbarion, oral, nude painting, bulge kink, marking
WC. 28k+
— this is suppsoed to be stereotypical, yes ㅠㅠ it isn't meant to be misogynistic. it's just the world I built them in. yn/I literally stated that this is her highschool and this is what she noticed. don't send asks if you're gonna go through with it with anonymous.
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In all the years you spent dwelling inside the same old boring highschool, you've come to the conclusion that in every campus, there's always three breeds of people paying amongst you that seem to avoid the brink of extinction; the slutty cheerleaders, the attention seeking fangirls, the ones that annoy you, the varsity jocks.
These varsity players are your typical ball heads who have their minds wrapped around the game and only the game. They're one way ticket to college is their varsity scholarship and inevitably making the dull-witted excuse to throw away everything related to academics and instead, centering their focus on their balls. It's stereotypical for you to say that, you acknowledge that for sure, but you can't help but speak the truth as most, if not, all of them are the same.
Albeit, yes, these are the usual qualities found in these ball fondlers, but there's a different kind laying amongst these godforesaken creatures that's even more toxic, more abominable, and those are the varsity fuckboys. 
These varsity fuckboys are always entitled, period. There's never a day in their lives where they don't stop talking about their latest slutty agendas or how awestrickingly good they are at playing the game. It also doesn't really help how their fan base— which consists of ignorant, ovulating, and in heat females, not only throw compliments their way, but also themselves at every passing moment towards these good for nothing jocks. It's as if these people have lost all sense of their humanity and became objects that do nothing but lurk around the school grounds, waiting to be inserted with a schlong and become teenage mothers. 
Do they even have a sense of self respect anymore?
Going back on track, it's a great dismay that all these complimenting words go straight to their head, making it even bigger.
Shame that not one ounce of it went to their dicks.
In accordance to that, yearly, these pubescent rats participate in an event called "Picture Perfect" wherein they hand pick at least more than ten different names of those who study in their school who, by the end of the year, they have to "connect" with. They mix them inside a bowl and let each one of them draw one by one. Once that person has their own paper, they have a set of rules they have to follow;
disclaimer, as per everyone's agreement and preference, only girls will be put on the list.
1. For proof, take a picture of the girl in bed or wherever while the two of you are fucking.
2. Threesomes are allowed if both players have the same person on their list.
3. Varsity players with girlfriends can't participate— unless you're Jake. We don't want to be caught in your drama.
4. First one to complete their list is the winner.
5. Failure to comply with these rules will get you disqualified from the competition indefinitely.
With that said, they have the whole school year to finish this list. Now, a year may seem too long for some, however, with the mix of competitions and practices, there's only a handful of times in a week that these boys can have a day off and hunt for their prey.
No one remembers when this whole shenanigans started nor do they remember who started it, the only thing that matters is the game and who comes out on top. They take this seriously— too seriously, you think.
For the record, they say that this game is only for fun and that no one should take it all too seriously when they lose. The prize is an ego boost for christ sake so which logical person would try so hard in such an idiotic game? If that's what you thought then you're clearly a normal person with a normal thought process along with a naturally working brain. However, it's safe to say that if you think these boys we're even one bit of the word "normal," then you're completely wrong because these ball players have rugby balls for brain cells and will do everything they can to win; showing off is a big enough prize for them to try their hardest.
A rugby team is normally composed of fifteen players. However, for this year, there will only be a total of 9 participants as the other six already either have girlfriends that they were strongly committed to— unlike Sim Jake who changed girlfriends more often than he showered, or like Riki and Jungwon who were still too young to be doing any funny business, and like Sunoo who didn't want to participate in some pathetic child's play. 
Moving on, one of the many other foolish participants in this wretched dog show is Park Jongseong, otherwise known as Jay amongst his peers and the students of Decelis High. It's his second year as an athlete playing rugby, meaning this year, it'll be his second time competing. As you can tell, he wasn't so lucky on his first try, barely getting pass three when he had ten on his check list, but this year, he's determined to do whatever it legally takes to come out on top.
"Alright, dickheads!" Their captain, Lee Heeseung, calls out. 
Currently, all the willing participants are sitting around a mess of multiple chairs and tables merged together as they busy themselves with writing the names for the person who'll draw their paper.
"Times up. Pass your papers." Heeseung commands with folded arms, impersonating a teacher who's instructing their students. He fetches a clear bowl and gestures for all nine members to put their papers in. Shaking the bowl, he continues on saying, "Now, as last year's winner, I strongly advise all of you to have fun and not take things overboard."
"Aw c'mon, Cap," Jay mocks in a whine. "You know everyone takes this game seriously, don't you?"
Heeseung rolls his eyes, shaking the bowl in circles. "I know but I'm still obligated to say that so I won't be involved in the fallout when one of you idiots decide to do something stupid, again." He says, eyeing Choi Beomgyu from across the table. All the puppy-faced boy does is smile at his coach sheepishly, earning snickers and nudges from the people around him as he scratches the back of his head guiltily.
Last year, Beomgyu took the game a little too seriously. It was already his third year in the rugby team and he still hasn't won. He felt antsy, wanting to experience the glory of winning, and so, knowing that Heeseung was in the lead, he did whatever he could to stop him from finishing his list. He hid the girls from the other, he told them he had aids, that he cums too fast, that he likes being treated like a dog in bed, and a whole lot more dumb shit just to keep Heeseung from winning. But all his efforts were inevitably for nothing as by the time winter break was over, Heeseung had won, laying out all the pictures he took of his one night stands out on the table at lunchtime with a cocky smirk plastered across his perfect face.
One by one, the boy's take their turns fishing for a piece of paper inside the bowl. As Jay grasps his own in the palm of his hands, he takes a look at the others' expressions when they open their own checklist. 
Some cheered and some winced. Seeing the latter made Jay's confidence run through the roof, thinking that he was so lucky that he already had the upper hand on the others without having to even take a look at his own paper.
"Mark Lee?!" Choi Yeonjun screams in outrage. "Bitch! Is this even allowed?!" He genuinely asks in an outraged tone, however, the others just simply burst out laughing at his predicament, not providing him with a coherent answer.
"Cap?" He calls out to the younger, voice pleading. 
Heeseung sighs out seemingly tired of the whole ordeal as he pinches the bridge of his sharp nose, scrunching his eyebrows together. "I'll change it on my own, hyung." He assures the older in a low tone, making it so that Yeonjun was the only person who got to hear what he said.
"I thought we agreed on keeping it strictly to girls?" He said, crossing his arms once again and repeatedly tapping his feet on the ground to show his annoyance. "So, which idiot was it?"
At that question, continuous screams of denial and bursts of cackling laughter erupt, occupying the small room, but Jay tunes them all out as his eyes zero onto the lack of names written on his checklist. His eyebrows knit together in confusion as usually there were at least ten different names listed on every checklist because everyone wanted to make it harder for the person who drew it. However, his list only had one.
Although writing less than ten names isn't against the rules, it's certainly out of the ordinary as he doubts anyone on his team had a heart made of gold and be that merciful.
Before he could tear his eyes away from the paper though, he caught sight of a note written beside it.
1. YN — goodluck on this one bro ;) tell me how getting pegged feels like, I kinda wanna try it soon.
Looking at the note with a mix of confusion and disgust, Jay wonders why this girl seemed so unfamiliar. 
In all his years spent in the same school, he's never heard of anyone with that name before. Granted, he doesn't usually pay attention to anyone other than the boys, much less try to remember the names of the girls he fucks around with in school. He thinks they're all irrelevant and are just getting close to them because they want the attention and fame being the girlfriend— or even an acquaintance, of a varsity player gives them. But the thing is, for the sake of the competition, he has to know who you are, however, no matter how far back in his memories he searches, he still can't seem to remember who that girl is. 
Eventually his curiosity takes over and asks "Who's YN?" while showing them his list and gesturing towards the only name written on it.
Hearing his question, the chattering stops and their gazes focus on the tip of Jay's finger. Jake is the one that answers his question, the rest of them stare with their mouths slightly agape. "You don't know YN? From the art club?"
When all Jay does is shake his head, the boys stare at him in a mix of wonder and shock, baffled by how oblivious the boy is when it comes to you. 
"Dude, how do you not know YN?" Park Sunghoon asks in disbelief. Jay only shrugs at him in reply, wondering what the big deal about this girl was. 
"Bro, Jay, whoever wrote YN down is absolutely bad-shit crazy. I got her on my list last year and she was the fucking reason I lost." Choi Soobin says, groaning. "I was so close to winning as well!" He bursts out, slumping on the back of his chair as he pouts.
Everyone knows about the rugby team's yearly antics and you're ashamed to say that nearly everyone is ecstatic whenever that time of the year comes— especially the whores. It gives them the not so once in a lifetime chance to sleep with the hottest varsity player on campus.  
However, as the loner with one singular friend that you are, you'd like to say that you're different from everyone else— and you are not saying that so you could be the IRL version of YN from a Wattpad book made in 2013. You don't feel excitement coursing through your veins when the year starts. Your panties don't drop at the sight of them all sweaty and dirty while practicing. You don't try to manifest your name to be on the list so they could flirt with you, get in your pants, and then leave you cold and naked when they get what they want. They're just boys who can play one filthy sport, what's so mind blowing about that?
You hate rugby. It's not just some petty thing, you despise it with your whole mind, body, and soul. You can't ever stand that sport and you hate the fact that all school funds go to that dumb piece of shit and not your precious art club. If only your school treated the art club the same way they sucked that god forsaken sports dick off then maybe— no, not maybe, then for sure, your school would have much more elegance.
God! Just saying the word "rugby" makes your tongue bitter. Not to mention, the players! They're just horrendous; full of pride, ego, and everything bad. You just can't stand breathing in the same air.
So last year, when misfortune dawned upon you and they had the audacity to involve you in their wretched game, you blew up; like a volcano waiting to burst and set fire to the whole nation. 
That year, Kang Taehyun, a rugby jock, approached you and started shamelessly flirting with you while you were having a peaceful time replicating the Mona Lisa. You erupted into a fit of anger and threw your palette covered with fresh paint onto his white varsity jacket. 
Every single member of the rugby team wore that shit everywhere they possibly could. It's as if to show his underlings that he is superior. You knew it was for their weird Picture Perfect event, that's why you acted in such a barbaric way. And for the record, you regret none of it— not even when you got sent to the principal for a 3 hour scolding session.
You know who that boy is. His name is Park Jongseong and he's in the same year as you, meaning that you get to see him too many times a week for your liking. Why such a strong distaste for the boy you ask? Oh, that's because you already know what breed the scoundrel is. If that jersey wrapped around his lean body doesn't scream jock to you then you don't know what else. 
Word around campus spreads fast so even though you detested hearing useless gossip, you're somewhat thankful that Liz is such a chatterbox because through her, you're able to know who everyone is in the first few months of school. Truthfully, you have yet to decide whether this trait of hers should be considered as a con or not. For example, last year, she had the bright idea of telling you that Park Sunghoon slept with a 40 year old milf, offering to spill you the rest of the details— not like she knew what the word 'milf' meant. She just tells you whatever new story she hears. Needless to say, you didn't want to hear any other features of that story. So, you weren't surprised when you caught sight of one of them throwing curious glances your way on one Monday morning whilst you were talking to your best friend, Liz, in front of your locker. 
It annoyed you how he was looking at you and it made your skin crawl. Already, you could feel waves of nauseous chills skimming down your spine, making you shudder as no doubt that if he continues, your breakfast is going to spill to the floor. You could only guess that he's interested in you because you're on his list and that he's trying to make a move on you. 
Before, you were used to them glancing at you out of curiosity. It's a normal thing to do when you see someone pretty on campus, but no one ever made a move to introduce themselves. Truth be told, these guys never messed with you until last year, when they found you're a hard girl to get with. 
If your hunch is correct and you're in fact on the list once again then you could only wish him good luck because you aren't interested.
To you, the boy throws what looks to be a constipated looking smile your way and your lips tug further down in a frown, suddenly feeling your stomach get upset. 
Although taken aback by your expression, Jay ignores it and persists to throw a charming smile your way, this time adding a small wave— both of which you turn down, only replying with the same frown on your face as you bore holes on his face with your so-called "resting bitch face." His face falters when he realises that you've indirectly turned down his gesture, scratching the back of his head in concealed embarrassment as he turns back to his group of friends as if nothing happened.
"Why's that psycho looking at me?" You ask, cutting Liz off on her rant and nudging your head towards where the guy stood.
Liz follows your stare and without warning, she squeals, jumping in place with excitement when he catches sight of the boy. "Oh my gosh, YN! Jay was looking at you?!"
With your face scrunched up in disgust, you look at your lifeline and wonder if it's too late to change friends because if it isn't, you'd pick that snot covered geek with braces back in 3rd grade any day. 
"Oh don't look at me like that." She says, slapping your arm. "He is totally your type!" 
Gagging, your gastric reflexes are about to show you just how displeased your whole body is with that sentence. "My type?! What do you mean by 'my type'?! Whatever my type is, it is certainly not that!" You say, repeatedly making frustrated air quotes whenever you say the word 'my type.'
"He is! Look," She persists, tangling her arms with yours and pulling you to gaze at where Jay stood. "Nice jawline, feminine and cat-like eyes, pretty lips, prominent nose, and last but certainly not the least, look at that stunning birthmark on his neck! Don't tell me you don't want to lick that." She dares on.
Now, you're ashamed. Where have you gone wrong in raising your best friend and how did she become such a disgusting simp?! 
To some extent, you suppose she is quite right. Usually, guys like him would be your type. If only that varsity jacket wasn't wrapped around his body then maybe, just maybe, you would've shot your shot by now. To them, that jacket signifies authority, fame, and an excessive amount of self importance. One glance at these arrogant motherfuckers and you already know they're narcissistic and my God, you hate it.
The first ring of the school bell finally pulls you out of your murderous glare, eyes diverting from the annoying jock and moving towards your schedule instead. You sigh gratefully once you see that your first class is literature. Not only is literature class the only subject you enjoy, you also like to think that teaching students the power of words and poetry brings back some of your schools integrity.
With Liz, you travel towards the classroom with your hand possessively trapped in hers. Liz likes physical touch and even though you aren't the kind to be touchy with anyone, you'll let a few of your principles be set aside for your dearest best friend. 
Your face stays neutral and observing while the boy, supposedly named as Jay, takes the seat beside yours. He ignores the complaints of your blonde headed friend as if she wasn't even there. He continues to pay no heed to Liz and when she realises he won't be moving any time soon, your friend leaves with a hmph and stomps towards the seat right behind yours. 
As you enter the room, you tell Liz to pick a seat somewhere near the front and beside the windows. She nods, understanding your love for the subject and setting aside her dislike so you could have fun.
You sigh comfortably in satisfaction as you skim your hands on the newly polished face of your desk, only to be disrupted later on when you hear your friend shouting in a pouty way. 
Sulking, Liz taps at your back, hoping to get some of your attention and to her delight, you turn your head towards her while your front is in Jays view. Ignoring the feeling of his eyes blatant stare at your neck, you focus on whatever gossip Liz tells you, humming and nodding every now and then to show her that you were listening. 
No matter how long you and Liz have been talking, Jays fixation on you doesn't waver, only intensifying within the passing moments. Jay stares at every crevice of your body that's shown. Your neck and the exposed skin of your collarbone is what draws Jay in; pretty and plush, making it so nice to look at. Each muscle clenches as you continue to crane your neck towards your friend and it only takes his mind into a deeper frenzy, thoughts occupied with your skin and the desire to touch it. The boys mouth somewhat begins to salvate, making him take a loud gulp as he feels himself grow hotter and flustered. 
Knowing how much he's been ogling at you while you're just there striking simple pose, he finds himself kind of embarrassing in this situation as he's never been one to be so easily riled up. But what can he do? it's something his body can't help but feel and the worse thing is, you weren't even doing any of it on purpose. It's all in his mind and Jay can only blame his teenage hormones for the fantasies it's creating.
Eventually, the boys strong fixation on you gets disrupted by your movements, pulling him out of his trance as now, instead of craning your neck and semi twisting your body to talk to your friend, he's met with your judging and questioning gaze. You continue to stare at Jay, cocking your eyebrows up as if to question whether he had anything to say. Still awestruck, the boy fails to form anything coherent and as a result of being caught, his cheeks start to flare up a sweet pinkish colour, one that you would've cooed at if he wasn't who he is.
Now, you're annoyed as while Liz is playing on her phone, there's an annoying jock sitting beside you. You huff feeling the symptoms of boredom spread through you. Picking up your pencil, you opt to scribble on your sketchpad, the small flower that laid idly on your table becoming your muse.
You were too busy sketching when out of the blue, you hear a deep voice speak up from beside you, ruining the serenity you've made for yourself.
"Life is the flower for which love is the honey, don't you think?" The man beside you cites, trying to mimic a poet citing his own poem. He picks up the small flower that strayed on top of your desk with his nimble fingers and gives it to you with the same smile he showed you prior to this moment. "It's a quote from Shakespeare. Have you heard of it?"
'This is it.' He thought in his head, thinking that since you were into art and literature, you were probably screaming on the inside right now because of Jays romantic gesture. He watched you as you eye the flower in his hands, his ego swelling with pride thinking that he's won you over. You repeatedly look back between his face and the flower before heaving out a small sigh. He watches your face morph into the most charming smile Jay had ever seen and at that moment, the boy felt something tugging on his heart strings. 
In awe of your beaming beauty, he sat frozen on his seat as you leaned closer to Jay, taking the small flower in your hands. His breath couldn't help but hitch at the slightest contact of your fingers brushing against his as he continued to stare at you in wonder as you inspected the flower, twirling it between your long fingers.
"That's sweet, Jay." You compliment, looking at the said boy. He struggles to maintain eye contact with you, once again feeling overwhelmingly hot under your gaze— not to mention the way his name rolled out so smoothly out of your mouth. "But…" Dragging out the word, you leave Jay in suspense.
He's at the edge of his seat as waits for you to continue, cheeks flaring up as you smile at him with such a sickening amount of sweetness. Jay thinks you're going to finally flirt back at him. That all his friends' words were untrue and in reality, you're actually just a shy tsundere. 
But Jay was proven wrong when you pressed the flower between your fingers, crushing it with little to no thought. "...That's from Hugo, not Shakespeare. I suggest you get your facts straight before you try to get inside my pants." You finish.
The sweet moment between the two of you ended the moment those words left your mouth and pierced its way through Jay's confidence. With your eyes, you dared for him to retaliate, but just like how you expected, Jay was too embarrassed that his brain couldn't even process what was happening. Gone was the pretty smile that Jay's so head over heels for as now, an annoyed expression falls upon your features— a complete one-eighty in just a span of five seconds. 
"Also, do me a favor and leave me out of your dumb fucking game."
After that, Jay was too ashamed to stay in your presence. So, wanting to keep the rest of his dignity, he left with his head bowed down. The action prohibited you from seeing his reddened face which he was thankful for. Instead, he made his way towards the back of the class and picked a seat a few chairs behind you, making it so that he could still watch you freely from afar without your knowledge.
For the sake of his pride, he tried to think that he only left because class was starting and because he didn't want to be stuck in the same seat when he's done doing his business with you. However, he knows those words were all lies— a way for him to deny his blossoming feelings.
Jay can't seem to understand how you made his heart pound so hard, ear deafening from the relentless beats that was orchestrated by your mere presence. He's not one to blush like an idiot in front of someone and he's certainly not one to feel like his heart had been thrown until beaten and battered by one negative gesture. You make him feel something foreign, something he's never felt before in his life. It scares him in a way; not being able to put into words how he's feeling. There's something about the way you feel so strongly disgusted by him that makes him want to provoke you even more, wanting to see more ways you'll respond. He sees the fire crackling behind your eyes whenever he looks at you so why is it that even though he knows he'll get burnt, he's still dying to touch you? 
There's clearly something wrong with him.
He knows it's unhealthy; wanting to get closer to you when you clearly don't like him, but he can't help it. He's drawn to you in some mind consuming type of way and he's willing to do anything just to get an ounce of your attention. 
His feelings are still confusing to him because just hours ago, his mind was so enveloped in winning, willing to do whatever it takes just to have you in bed and get the glory he so despretely wants. But now that he's gotten a glimpse of what it's like to be occupied by you, the objective has changed. It's not about the game anymore because fuck the game. Right now, he couldn't give a shit about winning— okay, maybe a just little bit. 
Of course, he still has the game to thank for introducing you to him and he still wants to rub his victory onto his teammates' face like Heeseung did when he won. But right now, all he wants is to have you.
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It's your second month back in school and Jay hasn't let a single moment in literature class pass by without him trying to get on your nerves. It seems as if God has put your morals to the test because each time he opens his mouth, your hand seemed to itch for some impact, preferably on someones face.
His routine would always be to sit beside you when class hasn't started yet, try and build up a conversation with you in which you'd reply with something dry, he'd ignore it and continue to talk about his day whether it would be about practice, rugby, or just how his day went in general, and then go back to his permanent seat when the bell rings.
If you're being honest, in the past you would've been so dejected, disgusted, and nauseated by the fact that you're even within five metres in range of one of them.
When have you gone wrong in raising yourself and where have your principals gone?
Granted, if the opportunity to get rid of him ever came, would you still take it?
They're still insufferable, you know that for sure. But after finding out that no matter how hard you try and kick Paek Jay out of your life, there's no reason to keep trying anymore and that you've completely given up. You've tried everything you could imagine just to steer away from him. There was no way in hell that you'd ever change classes so instead, you opted to convince the boy to work his magic and change classes and go somewhere, preferably, far far far away from you. But of course, as you can tell, that didn't work. There was also a time where you tried to ignore him in hopes of him finally giving up, however, to no avail, he was persistent and didn't relent. You've also begged Liz to not let Jay switch seats with her before class, but to your luck, your best friend seems to have her mind wrapped in the fantasy that you and Jay are just perfect for eachother.
She kept on giving you the reason that God would bring her back as cockroach if she got in the way of your blossoming love. So believe me when I say, you've tried it all. 
"Hey, YN." He greets cooly, casually sliding in Liz's seat. Already used to it, your friend just shrugs, momentarily switching seats with the boy as she knows that he'll eventually switch back.
Without turning your head to face him, you only reply with a hum, respectfully acknowledging him despite your dislike.
Jay ignores your clear lack of interest before he heaves out a deep loud sigh. He throws his head back, adam's apple protruding at the middle of his throat as you peek at him brushing his hair back.
It's hot. He's hot. But you bury that feeling deep down, shaking the thought away. You return your focus towards where your phone lay in the middle of your desk. The screen opens, a quiet beep catching your attention. You were about to ignore it, suddenly feeling too tired to socialise, but to your dismay, it doesn't only catch your attention but also of the man sitting beside you. 
"Mrs. Hwang sent you a message, YN." He informs you, head now resting comfortably on your desk. "Should I open it?"
He leans over towards your side, an arm sliding on top of your desk, resting in front of you while the other rests behind you, on top of your seat like a boyfriend trying to gatekeep his girlfriend. You would've tried shaking him off if you weren't aware of the fact that he would put it back either way. His head is right next to yours as he eyes the message on your phone and you can't help but catch a whiff of the delightful scent of his shampoo. Trying to stay composed, you sit idly in your seat as you watch Jay scan through the notification on your lock screen as if it was his own.
You scoff in disbelief, rolling your eyes to feign annoyance. "No, gimme that." You say, snatching the phone away from his view.
Pouting, Jay sits up from his seat, suddenly feeling more invasive than usual as he rests his head on top of your shoulder to watch you reply to the message your art teacher had sent you. Feeling vexed, you shrug your shoulders harshly, trying to shake Jay off of you only to fail. After multiple times of trying to take him off, you finally heave out a defeated sigh, gathering all the composure you have left in your body to not beat him up. Eventually coming to terms at the fact that Jay isn't going to let you have your own space, you accept your fate and let him stay there as you tap your fingers on the screen of your phone to answer your teachers request.
Mrs Hwang (Art Teacher): YN, we still don't have a male muse for the portrait project tomorrow. Do you mind asking some friend of yours to volunteer?
Is she insane or just totally oblivious? Everyone knows you're an art geek loner. You're already thankful to have one friend permanently stuck to your hip so, when did she ever get the impression that you had more?
"Ooh, looking for a male muse?" You jump at the sudden voice, completely forgetting the boy that laid on your shoulder against your will. 
"Can you stop meddling with other peoples businesses?" You say, now feeling actually annoyed because you have to worry about having to find a muse for your art class. It's not even like you can say no as well. Your teacher loves and adores you. At this point, she treats you like her own kid because she acknowledges the drive you have to share your painting with the world. She also said that she'd be happy to offer you an internship with one of her fancy artist friends once you're done with school and you just can't mess up your chances.
Ignoring your clear irritation, Jay continues, "I can be your muse." He suggests, smirking. 
"In your dreams, Jongseong." You say clicking your tongue whilst not meeting his eyes.
"Hey!" Jay exclaims. "I told you to call me Jay not Jongseong." He presses on, tone persistent as he leans his face closer in order to persuade you. However, you don't give him an ounce of your attention, refusing to give him the satisfaction. And so, he chases you, body unconsciously pressing onto your side while he busies himself. Amidst your teasing, you don't realise this either, too busy trying to suppress the grin fighting to form between your lips.
Your playfulness lasts for a few more moments before Jay finally grunts out in defeat, letting his head fall on top of your desk with a thud. "YN, look at me." He whines like a child.
Rolling your eyes as you heave out what seemed to Jay as a deep and tired sigh, you finally turn your face to look at him. A deadpan expression is on your face as you await his next actions. Seeing that you've finally given in to his request, Jay feels his stomach start to flutter, tickling him and making him feel bubbly. The smile on his face is adorable, pleased that he's victorious and this time, you fail to keep the corners of your lips from twitching upwards.
Even your laugh is beautiful to him and he can't help but want to hear more. He's tempted to crack a joke or do something dumb in order to push you over the edge and reveal more of the amazing sounds that comes out of your mouth. But he decides against it, thinking that instead of making you laugh, he might overstep his boundaries and ruin his chance with you— well, that's him thinking he has one.
Seeing a genuine version of your smile is what sets Jays heart into a frenzy, a billion flutters that set his heart soaring through the roof. Flustered, Jay ducks his head in an attempt to hide his giddiness from you. However, he inevitably fails when he hears a chuckle escape from your mouth. His head shoots up, eyes wide and unbelieving. His heart seemed to have accelerated faster than what he could imagine, face now burning a deep red.
Clearing his throat while fixing his blazer, he resumes. "I'll be your muse." He says, tone trying to show you that his decision is final.
"No, Jay." Despite being delighted that you've used his prefered name like he's asked you too, he still frowns. Again, his pout is adorable and you almost want to give in and let him take on the job.
"But, why?" He whines, shaking defiantly in his seat. "I'll be a great muse!"
Notwithstanding, you roll your eyes for what seemed like the umpteenth time this whole interaction. "I said no." You say firmly as if commanding the boy. 
His adorable pout turns into a bigger frown upon being rejected. However, the expression doesn't stay for long before it morphs into one you can only assume as mischievous as his plump lips turn into a plotting smirk, eyes gleaming with playfulness.
Seeing that, you squint your eyes at him, brows furrowing as you try to depict what's behind that look. "I swear to god, Jay. If you're planning something…" 
"What? I'm not doing anything." In contradiction to his words, his face tells you that he is plotting something. If it isn't the way his smirk doesn't relent and the way his eyes still bask in the same glint, it's the way he finishes his reply with a teasing tone, clearly choosing to defy you despite your clear warning.
You were about to call him out on his actions when you're suddenly being cut off by the bell ringing and not even a second later, Jay is pushing back his seat and striding towards his own. With his hands in his pockets, there's not a doubt in your mind that he's still wearing the same smug look as he sits down on his seat. You eye him from afar and when he notices this, he gives you a curt nod, brows rising upwards as if to ask you if you needed anything as he grinned.
Why are you so against Jay being the art clubs muse, you ask?
Truthfully, you should've been ecstatic to find out that Jay, one of the hottest guys on campus— Liz's words, not yours, wanted to volunteer. So why are you prohibiting him from doing so?
Is it because you only want the two of you's interactions to strictly be inside this classroom and nowhere else? No, not really. Is it because you're ashamed to be seen by your other club members being associated with his type? Deep down, you know that's not true. In fact, you're sure that when Jay steps inside your club, he'll be bombarded by his female art geek admirers and you'll be thrown aside and forgotten. Maybe, that's what you're opposed of; having to share him with other people.
Does this mean that you're jealous? No, no, no, it can not be that. It can't possibly be that. If you're jealous, then that means you like him and you know you do not like him. In fact, he can go ahead and be a brat and ignore what you said. He can walk in there tomorrow and be crowded with fangirls and you won't even bat an eye.
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If you see one person tugging on his blazer one more time, you swear to every God up there that you're going to commit a vital sin and you can only pray that they forgive you. You hate to admit it, but your right eye is twitching. Not just once, not twice, but every time some random person touches him and it's infuriating you— both the fact that someone's touching him and the fact that your eye is twitching without your consent.
Again, you're not jealous.
There you stood with your arms crossed over each other, away from the small crowd that had formed around Jay. Your back is pressed against an empty wall as you watch them gush about how hot he is, how handsome he looks, how great his physique is. It all makes you scoff, clicking your tongue as you look out of the window in annoyance after you see the smirk that paints Jays lips when he sees the annoyed expression on your face.
Despite practically being mobbed and having every female member of your art club pressed against him, his eyes are on you and there's not a single doubt in your mind that he's doing this to set you off.
The girl in front of him catches his attention when she suddenly throws herself at him. Jay only chuckles before his eyes flicker towards you and you swear a light bulb just lit up beside his head.
The excited girl starts talking animatedly at him and he makes it look like he's invested in what she's saying. He even did that panti dropping move where he swayed her hair back behind her ear. Afterwards, he looked for you, a cocky smile painted across his features, knowing full well that he did that to get a rise out of you.
He's certainly loving the attention, isn't he?
Despite your prohibitions, that hard headed motherfucker still had the nerve to come. Hence, why you have a permanent scowl on your face.
The moment Jay introduced himself as your friend and that you've brought him here as todays muse, you knew you were in for a fun time— note the sarcasm. To Jay, this must be all fun and rainbows, but to you, this is hell on earth. Admittedly, you're embarrassed to be caught with the likes of him, especially when you've vocalised time and time again how much you hate people like him. Yet, here you are, watching your art teacher usher everyone to take their seats in front of their easels while Jay sits on a sturdy table placed at the centre, posing attractively with his hands resting behind him on the table as he leans backwards. His gaze is pretty and somewhat intimidating to look at from an outsiders point of view, his lips sitting comfortably in its normal pout. 
Abiding by your teachers words, you sit on your own chair and surprise surprise, it's placed right in front of him. Jay didn't know that that was your assigned seat, but seeing so, his lips had a mind of their own as no matter how hard he tried to stay still like how your teacher had asked him to be, the corners of his mouth still tinged upwards. 
Already accustomed to Jays teasing antics, you only heave out a tired sigh, shaking your head in defeat as you pick up your pencil. 
Might as well draw him while you're at it, right? 
Truth be told, it has been a while since you've drawn someone, so you wonder how you'd do and surprisingly, you're good at it. It was scary at first, feeling nervous that you might mess up, however, the longer your pencil drags on top of your paper, the more you feel at ease. Drawing someone as pretty as Jay made you appreciate the finer things in life; the way his nose stood ever so perfectly at the center of his face, how his collarbone peaked through the shirt he wore, how his hair seemed to have been placed perfectly without effort, and lastly, the way his body looked so inviting despite being covered. All of that combined with the natural lighting of the sunset peeking through the glass windows made everything so much more appealing. Using the excuse of drawing him, you hide between the mask you wore in order to not seem like a hunter salivating for its prey as you continue to draw the guidelines for your portrait.
"I didn't know you had friends on the varsity team." 
Turning your head, you come face to face with An Yujins annoying smirk plastered on what you could only assume is her face. Most of the time, you can't really tell if it's her ass or her face that's in front of you because she pushes both onto any guys face. You didn't even notice that she was sitting beside you until she opened her mouth, too preoccupied with sketching the greek god in front of you to care about her existence. 
She's the definition of an ugly jealous slutty cheerleader that wants everything nice for herself. You don't even have a single clue why she's part of your club nor how she's still in it since she rarely ever attends. To add to that, you've never seen her pass a single one of her projects. 
Above all the days in the week she could've chosen to come, she just had to go today and see you with the one and only varsity fuck boy. 
"Well, to be honest, I'm surprised you have any friends at all."
People like her are the type to make fun and point their fingers at you for wearing your grandmas hand knitted sweaters and they're just the worst! Seriously, how can someone hate something made by someones old grandma?! The audacity these people hold still baffle you to this day, although not as much as before. 
Through the years, Yujin seemed to have grown a liking for you. A liking you never asked for nor wanted. You had no idea why but she just loved to make fun of you every chance she got. It didn't matter how petty she looked nor did it ever matter to you when she tried to belittle you with rude comments and backhanded banter. Honestly, you're more upset at the fact that her jokes were never funny. If it was, you'd laugh, no matter if it was supposed to offend you because hey, if it's funny, it's funny. For instance, yesterday, she made fun of you for wearing your reading glasses, saying that you looked like you're an old maths teacher who's either widowed or divorced. A week ago, she caught you eating a chocolate bar in front of your locker while you were casually minding your own business with Liz and she told you how fat you were getting. You were about to tell her to get lost when Liz decided to fight back and told her that she had more fat rolls than Fat Amy. That little firecracker! Ugh, you just love her to bits.
In the early days, you would fire back at her mercilessly, coming up with the wittiest of replies, but before you knew it, you grew up. Suddenly, you felt spent. You got tired of the whole cat and mouse bickering and for once, you turned your life upside down and chose to be mature. That didn't seem to have sat well with Yunjin though as from then on, her attempt to torment you went from every so often to very often. Of course, being the strong and independent woman that you are, you never took any of her insults to heart— not like they offended you either way. You simply ignored her or told her to get lost and that you weren't interested. Obviously, she gets angry but being the pussy that she is, you knew she was never going to get into anything physical with you because if she did, she'd lose in an instant. With that lanky ass body of hers, even your four year old sister can.
So, wanting nothing to do with the likes of her, you divert your attention back to the hunk of a man that sat in front of you. However, you're greeted with a different expression than before as now, his brows are furrowed with wonder and question. He looks at you silently, his eyes somewhat shining thinly with jealousy and betrayal while his normal pout drags down into a frown as if to ask how you could take your eyes off of him when he's laid out in front of you so deliciously.
"Mr. Park, please refrain from moving your face." Your art teacher asks.
Jay replies with a grunt at being told off before he looks up front. He lets out a satisfied hum when he sees that your eyes have found their way back to him, now happily resting them back in their previous form. 
After that small fiasco, Jay tried his hardest from then on not to move. He didn't want to cause any more commotion and make you fuck up the portrait you were drawing of him. He wanted to see how well you sketched him later on when the session was done.
Staying still for an hour proved to be harder than he thought, especially when your eyes looked so deeply at every part of him. After a torturous ten minutes of you looking at every detail of his face, he's fought and lost to the blush that persistently wanted to make its way up his cheeks when he saw you eyeing the skin of his throat. Correct him if he's wrong but he swears he can see the way your eyes fire up after he took a huge gulp. The way you were staring every time his adams apple bobbed or when the muscles on his neck flexed made him even more flustered. 
He fought the urge to recoil with every feeling of you overwhelming him in such a public scene, suppressing the sexual thoughts that clouded his mind. You were doing nothing but what you were asked to do, so why does he feel so bothered by something he's supposed to be used to? Girls staring at him is a normal occurance to Jay, but for some reason, you make him feel overwhelmed.
Jay is terrible at concealing his thoughts and it's apparent in the way he avoids eye contact that you're the reason behind it. Seeing just that, you try to hide the egotistic smirk that’s on your face, not wanting to stand out amongst your peers. In an attempt to recollect yourself, you intake a hefty breath before rolling your shoulders back to loosen your tensed muscles before going back to work on adding shadows onto your portrait.
From then on, the minutes passed by staring at you. I mean, what else was he supposed to do? It kept him preoccupied and it gave him the excuse to stare back at you; the way your brows furrowed together in concentration, the way you pout whenever he assumes you made a wrong stroke, heck, he even longed to crane his neck to the side so he can see more of the way your fingers wrapped elegantly around your pencil. Everything about you seemed so enchanting to him, captivating him and encasing him in your prison. He's addicted to having more of you and he's driven to have just that because one way or another, Park Jay always gets what he wants.
The hour soon then passed and before he could even grasp what was happening, your teacher's already patting him on the back, telling him how good he did. 
As asked, you all lean your canvases on an empty wall, awaiting for your teachers evaluation as the others compare their respective portraits with each others. Jay was told by your teacher he could leave if he wanted, but like he said earlier, he wanted to have a look at your portrait. So, he declined. 
Jay never had any interest in art and poetry, but since meeting you, he feels like a whole new person. Never in his lifetime did he have to search the web for romantic poems nor has he ever awed when looking at someones canvas and yet, here he is. Everything he's doing is foreign, like the way you make him feel. And as he continues to stare at the portrait you drew of him, he's once again in awe of you. He can't help but wonder how someone can be so perfect doing something they're passionate about. 
Folding your arms, you stand next to Jay, patiently waiting for his feedback because after all, he is your muse. "So," You start, palms pressing onto your thigh to wipe off the thin layer of sweat forming. "How'd I do?"
The boy jumps. He didn't notice you were there, standing beside him. "G-Good! Really good, actually." He answers, stuttering to blurt out an answer. Jays cheeks blush, feeling flustered.
Heaving out a sigh in relief, you chuckle at yourself, finding it funny how you were nervous for nothing.
Jay clears his throat, trying to compose himself before blurting out his next response. "You must've enjoyed looking at me a lot, huh?"
And just like that, the adorable smile on your face is wiped off, a frown replacing it. However, Jay isn't complaining because as much as he loves that cute smile on your face, he's just as deeply in love with the fire in your eyes whenever you get annoyed at him. He thinks your scowls are pretty, it makes him want to tease you more often and that's just what he does to you every single day after that.
The day he saw the way you scowled at him after he teased you, is the same day his heart seemed to have fallen for you. And along with his heart, came his body next as it seemed to have always yearned to be either close or next to you. 
That's why you never thought much of it. 
Since that fateful day, Jay has gotten even touchier than he already was. As time went by, it started to evolve from Jay poking his fingers at your sides for fun, to jumping you and taking you in for a hug whenever he sees you in the hallways. It was never romantic though and was always accompanied by a teasing glint. 
Granted, you did get angry every time he tried touching you, still deeming him as more of an acquaintance rather than a close friend. However, as moments pass, Jays repetitive routine of touching, teasing, and then annoying you became as normal as you and Liz walking to school together. Although you never asked for Jay to be in your life, there's no doubt that it'd feel incomplete without him.
Over the course of the months, you've developed an odd relationship for the boy. It kind of makes you reminisce of the time you and Yujin used to bicker. The difference is that Jays mischievousness always takes one of three forms; flirty pick-up lines, defiance, and lastly, clinginess. Out of the 3, you adore the first one the most and could make good riddance of the second. As for the last one, you're only left confused.
Jays pick-up lines are to die for. They're always either humourly cheesy or impeccably horny— both of which makes you double over laughing even when he hasn't finished his line yet.
"I'm not even playing cards right now and I pulled a queen." Jays triumphant grin is contagious and no matter how hard you hold back your laughter, you just can't— especially when Liz is cackling behind you.
"That's so stupid, Jay." You say, shaking your head. Contradicting your own words, your smile is evident and Jay can't get enough. So, he decides to tell you more, hoping to get the same, if not, a better reaction out of you.
"You know," He starts. "I'm like Nike and you're like McDonalds."
"Oh yeah?" Seeing the smirk on Jays face only makes your own grin grow wider as you await to complete his joke, already at the edge of laughter. "Why?"
Clearing his throat, he answers. "Because I'm just doing it and you're loving it."
"Oh my god." You sigh before covering your face to hide the guilty smile you wore while your giggles furiously try to break free. "Now, that's just you being horny Jay."
Wanting to see your bright face, Jay leans closer to your seat. He wraps his fingers around your wrist in an attempt to pull them away from your face, but to his dismay, you don't budge. "Let me see you~" He whines.
"No~" You drag, mimicking his tone. "That was so bad!" You press on, feeling a mix of frustration and disappointment in yourself for laughing at such a stupid pick-up line. 
"You clearly love it!" He exclaims, teasing you while leaning his face closer to yours despite it still being covered by your hands. "Now let me see you!"
"No, I don't." You fire back, pulling your hands away and looking at him. "But, tell me more."
Second, the boys defiance brings edge to his comical personality. Jay lives to see the enraged look on your face whenever he defies your simple orders and he'd never admit it to you himself, but that's what gets him going. 
At night, when he's all alone with his thoughts, his mind fills with scenes of him under you, begging for mercy. With all the authority you like to show, there's not a single hint of doubt in his mind that you like being in control, and he's willing to give you just that. Above all the women he's been with, you've repeatedly brought out a side of him that even he was heedless of— and this isn't any different.
Laying with his chest up and back pressed onto the soft fabric of his mattress, Jays breath quickens as he pushes himself to dive deeper into his fantasy. The thought consists of you and only you. With his hands dragging across the wide of his chest, he imagines it's your long and slender ones and not his. He drools at the possible feeling of your nails scratching on his body, making him release a quivered breath. 
Already feeling the pent up frustration building up in his boxers, he pushes his hair back before groping his hardening dick. He presses the palm of his hand directly on it, teasing himself as he envisions the proud look on your face as you watch him crumble under your supposed touch. 
"Fuck this." He concludes before pushing himself off of the mattress. Reaching beside him to open his bedside drawer, he grabs something he usually only uses for desperate times.
Jay gets bitches. So, there's simply no need for pocket pussies and fleshlights. But there'll come a time in a varsity players life where sleeping around is simply impossible to do. When schedules are pact with classes he has to attend to, practices he has to participate in, and rugby matches he has to win, there's just no time to be flirting. So, he bought a fleshlight just to solve that predicament.
Leaning back and getting comfortable on his bed, Jay leans against the headboard and quickly shakes off his pajamas, lifting his hips up in the process. Once that was off, he watched as his cock lay tensed and angry on top of his stomach, ready for any sort of pleasure. Already feeling impatient, Jay spurts a good amount of lube inside the toy and afterwards, he spits on it, letting the lube mix with his own lubricant. 
Feeling his breath growing faster as the excitement grows, Jay brings the toy closer to his dick. His mouth salivates, anticipating the pleasure that's yet to come. "Shit, YN. Just give it to me already." He says as he imagines you teasing him, lining the toy close to his dick.
Finally taking the whole skin of his leaking head inside, Jay releases a cross between a broken moan and a satisfied groan before taking all of his dick inside it all at once. Immediate pleasure fills the boys consciousness as he takes his bottom lip in between his teeth to suppress himself from moaning too loud. It's been too long since he's had any sort of pleasure from anything, mind too caught up in your existence. Not to mention the fact that he literally only wants you and no one else. After Jay found out that his feelings for you were growing more intimate than he'd like to, he tried his hardest to get hard for someone else. 
The boy has never had a crush on anyone and naturally, he felt scared— both at the unknown and the possibility of being rejected. So, he went out to parties, tried to hook up with the usual sluts around campus. But whenever someone other than you touches him in any sort of provocative way, his mind just shuts down and his body starts reacting in a negative way. What used to be Jays favorite pastime now became his worst enemy because from then on, Jay couldn't think of having sex with anyone other than you. Soon enough, Jay accepted the fact that he can never have someone better than you. You've never even flirted with Jay yet his mind is already creating scenarios of the two of you together. 
That's when he started working harder to get close to you because maybe, just maybe, if he played his cards right, you might end up liking him back. It doesn't even have to be on the same heights as his feelings for you. If he succeeds and you like him back just a tiny ounce, then he can die happy. If he doesn't succeed and he fails to make you fall in love with him then it'd be a curse he'd have to bear with for the rest of his life because he knows that despite it, he couldn't ever leave you alone anymore. 
He imagines the scenario of you chuckling at him, mocking him for breaking apart so easily, calling him your desperate little slut in the process. Too immersed, Jay replies, "S-Shit. 'M not your slut."
The sounds of the toy squelching with every pump drives Jay mad, mind growing hazier by the minute. The toy makes him feel wonders and he's only left to imagine how good your pussy would feel if you ever let him fuck you. He thinks that if a toy feels this good on his dick, then there's no way you won't feel euphoric once he gets a chance to bury his dick inside your wet cunt.
It's not even past five minutes and yet, he can already feel his high approaching so quickly. With his mind flooded with images of you, his hand guides the toy faster, trying to drive him over the edge of his orgasm before pulling the toy off his dick completely. 
He chokes out a small cry in vain as all the pleasure vanishes. A string of curses leaves his lips after, not believing the fact that he's actually  torturing himself just to get a taste of you in his imagination.
He envisions you doing this to him; bringing him close to ecstasy and then taking it all away right before he can get the chance to cum. It's torturous having to repeat the same agenda on himself, especially when it's not you actually doing it. But he does so either way despite the pain and after a few more agonising denials, Jay finally decided to change positions.
Now positioning himself on all fours, Jay takes a pillow and places it right below his groin, resting the toy on top after. His right hand holds the fleshlight in place while the other rests on top of his pillow as leverage. Feeling comfortable again to resume his actions, he inserts his dick back in the toy, throwing his head back in pleasure as he releases a long dragged moan of your name. 
Jay starts thrusting into the toy with more vigor, jaw flexing as he clenches his teeth together. "Come on, Jay." Your voice says from inside his head. "Prove to me you aren't some worthless toy I can easily throw away."
Without wasting any more time, Jays thrusts grow near animalistic, pounding into the toy with more force. Lube mixed with his precum drips onto the mattress whenever he makes the move to retract his dick from the toy before drilling it back inside.
If there's anything in this world that Jay holds dear, that's you… and his pride. Jay knows he's good at everything so, when you, his beloved crush, tells him that he's practically a piece of filth you can't wait to throw away, Jays body fills with rage. How can you come up with such a lie? Those days that were filled with staring at you didn't go to waste because now, Jay feels like he knows your body inside and out. He knows every dip on your body, every mole visible on your skin and if there were more that he hasn't yet discovered, then he'll make sure to scout for them when he gets the chance to. He's determined to prove to you that he's irreplaceable, that no one can give you a better time than he does. 
"Fuck, YN." He pants your name out, voice shaking with each powerful thrust. "I'm so close, YN. I'm gonna cum."
He tried to wait longer, he really did. He didn't want to cum in his own hands. Instead, he wanted to cum in your presence, wanting to show you how hot he looks when he cums. But inevitably, he failed. 
Chanting your name, Jay finally lets himself reach his own high. With his body lurched forwards as he presses his face onto the sheets, his hips grind onto the toy while he rides himself off of his high, filling the toy with a huge load his hot cum.
His gut tells him that you'd love to humiliate him after. He can see you telling him how dumb he is for letting himself cum before you and he can only imagine how you'll punish him. Would you sit on his face and tell him to eat you out until you cum on his tongue? Or maybe, you'd tell him to sit down and ride him until you're satisfied, ignoring his pleas despite the overwhelming feeling of your vagina on his cock after he just came?
Either way, he's drunk and spent. But despite that, he won't make it easy for you. With all his might, he'll talk back and fire senseless retorts at you, wanting to drive you over the edge of insanity, completely unaware that it's already happening to him.
Lastly, Jays clinginess is something you didn't think you'd get used to this fast. All that talk about not wanting to be in the same vicinity as rugby players seemed to have flown past your head because look at you now; a jock practically purring on your shoulder as it napped. For a gym addict, Jays body is strong yet gentle, muscular yet soft, and heavy yet light. Polar opposites yet they conjure up the perfect qualities for a human being.
You have no idea how you two got into this situation nor do you remember who instigated it. The only thing you know is the feeling of comfort being close to Jay brings. It's odd, feeling the skin on skin contact with someone you're supposed to despise. Yet, you don't have the will-power to pull away. Perhaps, you have Jay to blame for that. Maybe your resolve isn't as strong as you think and you're developing feelings that're deeper, more romantic. 
How did you let yourself fall for him?
One Friday afternoon when your literature class unfortunately got cancelled, the whole class was told that they were free to go and spend their vacant time however they wanted. Finding nothing else to do, you offered to go out to the school field and have a small picnic date together with Liz. But with your pro procrastinator best friend having a ton of pending assignments left, she told you to just go there with Jay while she tries finishing some of them. 
Of course, still refusing to prove Liz right, you fake vomited, telling her that there was no way in hell you were going to have a picnic with Mr. Hot Shot Rugby Player and proceeded to go alone. Luckily, the said boy didn't hear your best friends suggestion and you were able to have a moment of peace before you realize that Jay was actually following behind you all this long.
"Jay," You call out his name in warning. "What're you doing here?"
"Nothing really. Just casually strolling since I have nothing to do." He answers, eyes staring at the horizon as his hands rest inside his pockets in a carefree manner. "Oh, having a picnic? Mind if I join?"
The boy doesn't give you a chance to reply before he's already making himself feel comfortable on the blanket. Prior to this, you had set up the blanket near a tall tree. You wanted to enjoy the cold breeze outside without the scorching heat of the sun burning your skin. 
Noticing the small canvas that sat idly on top of the blanket, he asks, "You gonna paint?"
Accepting your fate and the fact that you aren't going to get rid of him, you take a deep breath as you try to compose your thoughts. "Yeah, I was planning to."
"Well, don't let me stop you, babe." He says right before leaning back on his hands, feeling smug.
Complying with his words with a huff, you take the small canvas in your arms either way. With your watercolor paint set securely on top of the picnic blanket, you take a fine brush, ready to start painting whatever comes to mind when Jay speaks. "Do you think you can draw me again?"
"No," Thinking that you're done, an immediate pout makes its way onto Jays face and he's ready to convince you otherwise when suddenly, you cut him off by finishing your sentence. "I don't have a pencil right now. I only have these with me." You add, gesturing towards your palette. 
At that, Jay nods his head in understanding, however, a pout is still set on his face, yearning to be your muse once again. Looking over to him, you watch his face silently and while oblivious to your stare, Jay picks up a few small pebbles laying near the tree. He tosses them towards the distance, finding nothing to do. You sigh, feeling yourself cave in. "Come here then. I guess I can paint your silhouette or something."
Like an owner calling their cute kitten over, Jay whips his head towards your direction, feline eyes shining immensely with happiness before he conceals it, wanting to play hard to get. "Nah, I don't wanna bother you." He says in a mockingly sad tone.
Rolling your eyes at Jay antics, you pull his arm lazily so he could lean closer to you. "Come on, Jay. Before I change my mind."
Though it wasn't the first time yours and Jays skin has touched, it was the first time you instigated it. Jay has always been the one touching you, being clingy, and annoying— It was never you. The feeling is new and he can't help but freeze at the contact. Even after, his cheeks are set ablaze as the skin of your arms are still pressed together while he sits stiffly next to you. Noticing this, you ask, "You okay, pretty boy?"
Clearly, you said the name to tease him. Since day one, you were in love with the picture of Jays face looking dangerously red and flustered. Wanting to see the look on his face that you missed so dearly, you used the nickname in hopes to see it again. And it worked, Jays posture goes stiffer, his back straightening while he holds his breath. 
A simple act of skinship initiated by you is new to him, although he knows it doesn't have the same effect on you as it does him. The gesture also doesn't tell him what your feelings are for him. But this, a pet name, was something he could only imagine receiving from you and here he is now, receiving it. It makes him speechless, mind searching desperately for a comeback that conceals how weak he is for you, but he fails to do so, heartbeat beating too loud for his mind to function.
From your perspective, Jays reactions are always adorable. Yes, he has his moments wherein he acts like a brat— a spoiled one at that, but you can't deny the fact that you're willing to entertain him. It's something that's beyond your grasp, something uncontrollable. You do it so often and most of the time, you aren't even aware of it. Your body just seems to react that way to him, whether you like it or not. Right now, you know deep down that Jay holds a place reserved only for him in your heart. So, you ask, can his feelings ever be true?
Despite what you think, you continue spending the rest of the free time you had with the boy and from then on, you've come to form a bond with him that was totally unexpected, and yet, you wouldn't trade it for anything in the universe. If only you just had the guts to tell him how you feel.
"By the way, Jake's holding a party at his house this Saturday. I was sorta hoping you'd come?" He asks as the two of you lean side by side on the tree.
You hum, eyes closed as you rested. "We'll see."
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Dusting the nonexistent dust off of the fabric of your black leather jeans, you take a look in the mirror for the first time since you came rushing back to your house.
Prior to this, you had gone home last Friday night to go and visit your parents back in the countryside. You came back at around 7pm and since then, you've been hastily trying to gather an outfit for the same party Jay had invited you to come to, all the while fighting with your own consciousness whether or not it was a good thing to go. 
You're not one to go to parties like this one. There's just something about partying with people you know from school that irks you. You'd much rather go to some local bar and get drunk off your head with strangers. But, like most decisions you make when Jay's involved, it gets thrown away towards the deepest corner of your brain, forgotten and neglected. 
Stepping inside the huge mansion decorated with tons upon tons of littered empty beer bottles and chip bags, you almost turn around and leave before the sweet fragrance of Jay's cologne hits you, enveloping you in such a sweet scent. How can you leave?
"YN~" He whines, obviously drunk out of his mind as he clings onto your arm. " 've been wai—ting for… you… all night." In his drunken state, Jay leans his full weight onto you, legs probably feeling like jelly as the alcohol floods his system. 
"Well, I'm here now, aren't I?" You reply to him, enveloping his hands in yours to guide them towards your shoulder, wanting to provide him some leverage. Afterwards, your hands find their way towards the small of his waist in order to steady his body, afraid that the boy might collapse from the amounts of alcohol he's intook. 
He answers you with several cute nods before stuffing his face into the crook of your neck, sighing comfortably. The boy seemed as if he was drunk out of his mind and you were about to ask him if he was okay before he cut you off. "I— I thought you not gonna come~" He drags in a pout. "Thought you… ditched… me." 
By the tone of his voice, you can tell that Jay's about to pass out. So, making the decision to help him to bed, you made your way through the mass of sweaty teenagers on the dance floor and walked with him towards the kitchen. There was no use asking Jay where a guest room was located as the boy was now practically half asleep. With half of his body weight hung on your shoulder, the boy's purring onto your neck as you drag his body while you walk. 
Catching sight of a familiar blonde haired boy rummaging through the fridge with a few bottles in his hands, you decide to call his name. "Jake," You huff, readjusting your grip on Jay as you feel him slipping between your arms. Jay whines at the sudden jolt, hands tightening around your neck as he places airy kisses onto the side of it, where his head was tucked in.
At the call of his name, Jake turns his attention away to find you with an impeccably drunk Jay clinging onto you like a koala. To Jake, the scene looked funny and amusing because this was the first time he saw Jay in such a vulnerable scene. If it was any other girl he was clinging to, Jake wouldn't have wasted a second to take his friend away and tend to him on his own, feeling worried for the boys well-being. But since he knows Jays romantic bond with you, he's at ease. 
"Hey, YN." He greets, posture straightening. "That's quite the situation you've got there." He says, hands gesturing towards you and how Jays arms seem to be wrapped around you without a thought of letting go.
"Yeah," You agree with a huff, feeling out of breath. "I could use some help actually."
Rolling your eyes at the boy, you accept your faith, realizing how alike the two best friends are. "Thanks…" You trail off. "Is there a room I can put Jay in? I think he's gonna pass out."
Without missing a beat, Jake replies. "Nah." He smirks. "I think you've got it under control."
"Yeah, there's a guest room upstairs. Just go up. Last room to the right." He points towards the flight of stairs and you nod, taking the information in before you grip Jays body tighter as you make your way up the stairs and into the room the blondie told you to go to.
Opening the lights inside the dark room, you try not to stumble and fall to the ground, feeling your grip loosening. In fear of dropping the poor boy on the hard ground, you quickly waddle towards the bed and gently plopping Jay down into the soft mattress. 
Attempting to untangle his arms from your neck proved to be difficult as the boy just seemed to bound himself to you like steel. No matter how hard you try, Jays resolve doesn't falter, leaving you with no choice but to lay there awkwardly until he falls asleep. 
"YN~" You hear his sudden voice call out to you in the same drunk and dragged out manner. "Stay~" He pouts.
All you do is smile at his cuteness, reaching a hand up to sway his bangs away from his face. "Go to sleep, Jay. Get some rest." You say as your hand stays on the crown of his head, scratching his scalp. 
At the act of service, Jay groans contently under your touch. "You're so pretty YN." He sighs, drunk eyes watching you take your jacket off in a dreamlike manner.
This time, you laugh, both at his drunken confession and because of the look on his face. Sober Jay would never confess that you were pretty aloud— not in this way at least. When complimenting you, Jay always had more creative ways to get his message through, whether it's by teasing you or by using his corny ass pick-up lines. Still, those simple words made your heart flutter and so, in a whisper, "You're pretty too." you say. 
A dopey smile makes its way onto the boys face, undoubtedly feeling satisfied with your answer. "Lay down with me." He commands.
Although you know he's just being playful, you still wanted to tease him back by lecturing him and you were about to do just that before he suddenly pulls you down under him. All the air gets knocked out of your lungs, the action taking you by surprise. With wide eyes, you stare baffled at the man position on top of you, body placed between your legs while his face hovers only mere inches above yours. "J-Jay?" Hearing yourself stutter, you almost curse yourself for being so easily vulnerable.
Despite you calling out to him, Jay doesn't move an inch off of you, only moving nearer and in the heat of want and need, you do too. Quite frankly, now that he's so close, your senses fill with every bit of the boy. His cologne is the only thing you can smell, your bodies are practically pressed against each other, and with his face so close to you, he's the only thing you can see. The only thing missing is the taste of him then you'll be complete, the both of you will. And it seems like that's just what's about to happen because before you knew it, your surroundings seemed to move in slow motion, the only thing making sense is him as his nose touched yours, eyes begging for progress. 
Satisfied with his silent plea, you bring your faces closer and let him get a taste of what it's like to be engulfed by you. Both yours and Jays eyes are now closed, lips awaiting to collide and when it does, an endless spray of fireworks seem to erupt. You kiss him light and gentle, afraid he'll regret his actions and pull away. But when he doesn't, your heart melts, feeling joyous at his acceptance. 
It's not only you who feels that way, but also Jay, maybe even more so. He's the one that fell in love with you first, thus, meaning he's waited the longest out of the both of you. He tried to keep his emotions at bay, but the beer in his system seemed to have other plans as what Jay thought would be an innocent night where the two of you can get to know each other now turned into a hot makeout session. Jay isn't complaining however, how can he when he thought this was only possible in his dreams? 
When the plush feeling of your lips leave his, Jay craves for more and you happily dive back into him. This time, you kiss him harder just like he requested. The whine he lets out just fuels your sex drive even stronger and you're determined to ruin him. 
"YN," He calls with his eyes closed, feeling breathless. You reply to him with an airy hum, hands caressing the wide of his chest under his shirt, nails barely grazing over his nipples before wrapping them around his waist so you can continue teasing him with your hips. "S— ah, stop. I— I might…"
The feeling of having you, kissing you, feels so surreal to the boy. It's like a dream and he's just waiting to wake up and feel reality crashing down and disappoint him. He can't help but compare it to the numerous wet dreams he's had of you, except this time, it's all real. You're really making out with him, you're really putting your tongue inside his mouth and he's letting you.
The wet muscle of your tongue explores the space of Jays mouth as his hand possessively roams around your figure. His hands trail between the valley of your breasts to the curve of your hips and roots them there. The grip he has on you only gets tighter when you retract your tongue from his mouth to suck on his lips instead. His mouth hangs ajar, his loud moans spilling out uncontrollably, feeling your hips grinding up to rub on his boner.
"Might, what?" You ask, voice laced with ego while cocking an eyebrow up as you watch him struggle to form words knowing that you're the cause of it. "Baby can't speak now?" You pout, cooing at the quivering boy on top of you.
With the feeling of you tapping his cheek so affectionately, Jay groans in embarrassment. "You're the one getting worked up." He teases back in an attempt to collect the pieces of his pride that's been chipped off, digging his knee into your clothed vagina, wanting to get a reaction out of you. Instead, it's him who ends up moaning, throwing his head back when he feels the mixture of your heat and wetness through the fabric of his pants which, by the way, he was just dying to take off. His teasing seems to be for nothing because you just lay there all pretty whilst agreeing to everything he says as you couldn't deny the fact that his words were all true. He is making you hot and bothered and there's no use in denying it.  
Your confidence only makes Jay harder, now grunting at his failed attempt to fluster you. At this point, Jays pants are suffocating and he desperately wants to tear them off. He feels like he's getting blue balled and that has never happened to a hot boy like him. With you, Jay experiences all sorts of firsts; first crush, first love, first blue balls— he could do with the last one, but in the end, he wouldn't trade the experience for anything in the world. 
"YN, please." He begs, practically on the verge of tears as his cheeks blossom a deeper shade of red, both because of the heat your body exudes and your words. "Do something— Oomf!"
Ignoring Jays pleas, you catch the boy by surprise by flipping the both of you over. Now, you're on top of him and he's below you, looking up, like how it should be. As Jay lies down with his arms bent at the same level of his head, you take your place and sit on top of his lap, feeling his erection pressing into your heat.
"There we go." You chuckle, looking down at the boy and leaning closer to his face. Thinking that you're going to kiss him, Jay leans up in expectation, only to chase your lips up when you pull away. Jay prepares himself for an endless night of teasing, now practically sober yet it feels like he's getting drunk again. It's just that this time, it's not because of the alcohol, but because of you. "Isn't this better, Jay?"
"It was better when I was on top of you." He says, snarkily.
"Ah," You sigh out, realizing what Jay's doing. "You aren't going to make it easy for yourself, are you, baby?"
"Yeah," He laughs, loving the way he's rilling you up. "Fuck you." Both Jays body and mind tries his hardest not to show a reaction when you had called him by his favorite pet name and he almost succeeds, but alas, Jays dick has different things in mind. 
Feeling his dick twitch under you, you can't help but laugh at his pathetic attempt to mask his emotions. "Oh come on, baby. Don't act like a brat now." You coo, steadily grinding down onto his dick. "We both know you're just dying to please me."
With every motion of your hips grinding on Jays boner, he can't help but choke on his own saliva, feeling his mind growing dizzy with every act. "YN… Do something."
Both yours and Jays body crave to be touched, to be against each other and so, you do just what your bodies want. Leaning forward, you bring your lips to his. Initially, you had planned to tease him further with light feathery kisses but the thought soon flew out the window when Jay tried to make it dirtier by inserting his tongue inside your mouth. The innocent, teasing kiss soon turns into a hot and messy make out session as you gladly suck on the muscle of his tongue, soon falling in love with every sound that falls outside his lips. 
Your hands make their way to Jays face, holding his face steady as you angle your face to the side in order to deepen the kiss. Jays eyes are closed, too occupied with kissing you that if he were to open them and see the mouth watering view of you on top of him, he'd just cum in his pants and that's the last thing Jay wants to do. 
Brushing his bangs back, your fingers then thread onto the strands of his hair, tangling them before pulling his head back so you could have free access to his neck. Your mouth leaves his and he almost whines at the loss of contact before he cuts himself off with a whimper when he feels you lick a thick stripe from the bottom of his neck to the edge of his jaw. 
"You're such a whiny little thing, Jay." You comment, breath fanning his neck and effectively sending shivers down his spine. You don't give him a chance to reply before your mouth latches onto the skin of his neck, sucking and biting enough for it to give Jay the harsh feeling of pleasure but not enough to leave marks. The said boy releases a string of curses, mouth falling open as he doesn't even bother to conceal the desperate moans in his chest.
Your tongue licks at the bump of his adams apple before taking it in your mouth. When Jay gulps, his adams apple moves and you chase it, humming delightfully when you feel Jays fingers latching onto your shirt to get a grasp of reality. Effectively covering the skin with your saliva, you then move on to the line of Jay's jaw. You've been eyeing this specific part of his face for the longest time since you've met him. Whenever Jay would randomly pop up and decide to stick with you, you always take the chance to admire his jaw whenever he's looking away. You just know that if he ever catches you then you're in for a life of endless teasing.  But now that he's here, willingly angling his head to the side to show off his stunning jaw to you, you can't help but greedily feast on it. There's not a chance in this world you'd pass up the opportunity to do whatever you wanted to him. And you do just that; you use your tongue to trace the sharp line of Jay's jaw, peppering it with kisses from time to time. As you kiss him, Jay's hands rake your scalp, trying to find something to hold onto as you cover him with your scent.
After all that's done, you take a look at the dishevelled man under you. His forehead is shining with a thin sheet of sweat, lips plump and swollen due to the endless amounts of kissing the both of you did, his chest rising and falling deeply with each breath he takes, and lastly, the hint of his abs peeking through his shirt is what sends you over the edge. Your mouth is watering, searching for something to do just to get a bigger reaction out of him and not to mention the fact that your wetness is practically seething through the thin layer of your jeans. 
"Wait, shit. I forgot," Suddenly, your hands stop from pulling his boxers out. Feeling edged, Jay lets out a choked sob, followed by a loud whine. He looks at you expectantly, eyes begging for you to just forget whatever it is. "Condom, honey. Do you have one?" 
You want to fuck Park Jay so bad, you're willing to beg for it. Luckily, it's Jay who breaks first. With stray lines of tears falling from the corner of his eyes, Jay begs, "Please, YN. Fuck me, please, please."
And that's all he had to say before you quickly took his pants off and threw them to the ground in a hurry, unafraid to show your own eagerness.
A condom, a fucking condom. That's what's banning Jay from getting his noodle wet. He's about to throw a tantrum, it's going to be loud, childish, and annoying. You can just tell from the way his face consorts in disapproval that you're going to be dealing with a bigger brat if you don't give baby Jay what he wants. But at the end of the day, your point is valid, and as Jay rummages through his pockets in search of a condom, he fails to find any. You watch him as he leans to his side, looking through the drawers of the bedside table, practically resembling a starved dog scavenging for food when he cries out, and you can only take that as a sign that there isn't any here.
"None?" You watch him amused, a smile dancing across your face. Leaning close, you take his head and cradle him to your chest, attempting to console the boy.
"There's none!" He screams out, pouting as he digs his nose deeper into the crook of your neck. "YN~ My balls are hurting." He whines, kicking his legs behind you.
Acknowledging his pain, you pat the boys head before leaning away. "I'll go get one, yeah?" You ask.
Like an excited child, Jay hurriedly nods while watching you get up from his lap and standing in front of him at the foot of the bed. "Hurry hurry."
"Oh, don't sound so eager, Jay. You look like you're just begging for me to fuck you." You chuckle, hands resting on your hips.
"But I am, though." He finally admits. Jay bites his lip when he sees you coming closer before pecking him, telling him that you'll be quick and ordering him not to move.
You don't even get ten steps away from the room before you see Yunjin leaning against the wall with her hands crossed in front of her chest. She turns to you, giving you a once over. "Oh, it's you." She says before scoffing. "I didn't think Jay would be able to win this year because of you, but I guess that man's just has his ways, huh?"
Like a million pound truck sending you flying aback, or like a bucket of ice cold water being poured onto you, you're frozen, unable to move as reality comes crashing down onto you. Your heart beat stops and for a moment, you thought it would stay that way forever before she speaks again. "Oh?" She asks with interest, a smirk playing across her lips as she tilts her head to the side in order to provoke you. "Did you really think Jay, the Park Jay, wanted to fuck you because he loved you? Did little miss artsy YN fall in love?"
Why does loving someone always has to come with a catch? You guessed that this is why it hurts so much, because love is sinful and unforgiving. Just when you were ready to let him inside your bubble, thinking that he'd take care and cherish it with you, instead, he popped it with little to no care. 
Blood rushes through you and you can feel your knuckles itching for contact. Yunjins face looks so punchable right now and you just want to ever so lightly tap it. How can you be so stupid to forget? To think that all the teasing, all the pick-up lines, and all the moments you shared together were just part of his stupid plan to get you. Now, It all makes sense; Him suddenly growing interested in you and him acting like you're the most pretty thing in this crude world.  In the end, it was all for show. And you knew it. From the beginning, you had already suspected that he was only getting close to you because you were apart of his fuck list.
But can you blame yourself? The adoration you felt with him was so addicting it felt real.
Maybe, that's how Jay worked. Maybe, that's the effect he has on people. You knew from the start that Jay was the type of guy to get whatever he wanted and yet, you were stupid enough to forget it all because you fell in love with him.
"You know, I didn't think you were going to be that easy to get, YN. But I guess I was wrong about you." She comments without you asking. "You're just a little two faced nerd looking for attention."
If you weren't coursing with anger before then you are now. Eventually, your knuckles turn a baffling shade of white due to the amount of strength you're putting on it and just when you were about to leave and head to your car, Yunjin breathes and that's all it took for your fist to collide with her jaw. 
Despite the booming sound of music through the speakers, the crackling sound of her jaw breaking still finds its way to tear through the tensed air. Yunjin doubles back, palm cupping her jaw as she looks at you with shock and bafflement. You can feel her hatred for you bubbling up, but you don't care. You leave her there despite her enraged calls for you to come back and fight her again, to show the world who you truly are, but you tuck her voice at the back of your mind as you make your way down the stairs and out of the fucking mansion.
You're enraged with hatred and disgust, both for the boy and Yunjin. The more you think of it, the more you realize that you should've thanked her actually. Because of her, you've finally come to your senses. If it weren't for her, there's a possibility you would've given in to his plan and lost all sense of your pride. Making a mental note to apologise to her soon, you speed up your car, trying to erase all the memories you have of the boy in your mind.
Too caught up in your own feelings, you don't realize that you've left Jay there in the guest room by himself, waiting for you to return. And he would've waited even longer if Yunjin hadn't staggered inside and told him that you left.
"Wh— Huh?" Jay asks, still surprised to see the girl inside the same room you two had made out in and promised to make love. "Did something happen? Is she hurt?" Jay rushes to button up his pants as he stands up from the bed, ready to look for you in case you really were in trouble.
"No," Yunjin says, sliding down the wall and planting herself on the carpeted floor. "She already knows, Jay. You don't need to pretend you like her anymore." She chuckles.
Jay looks at her with question marks practically floating above his head, wondering what the hell she was talking about. In fact, Jay doesn't even know who this girl is. When Yunjin sees this, she carries on to remind him.  "The game, Jay."
That's when it finally hits him. You think that he's doing all this because of the game. Jay immediately goes into panic, mind creating alarming scenarios of you leaving him forever. He thinks he fucked it all up even though the game was the last thing on his mind at this point. He can't let you think that that's why he's doing this, he can't let you think that he isn't ready to do everything for you. He needs to confess and that's what he plans on doing.
Noticing the panic in Jays eyes, Yunjin finally realizes that this wasn't his objective, that this isn't what the boy wanted. Slowly, it dawns on her that the boy isn't doing this because of the game anymore. It's evident in the way he rushes to find his phone, feet jittering as he hurriedly taps on his phone to dial your number and when you don't answer, tears start spilling from Jays eyes.
"You love her," She asks, eyes concentrated on him as she too, is in shock. "Don't you?"
Looking blankly at your contact number on his phone screen, he answers, "Yeah," He gulps, mouth catching his lips, trying to conceal his whimpers. "I do."
My muse: YN, please answer. Let me explain.
A whole three hours have passed since you left Jay alone in Jakes mansion and the boy has never felt this depressed in his life. He had tried calling you a staggering total of 163 times, left messages asking to talk and yet, none were answered. 
My muse: I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I never wanted to hurt you. I never intended to make a fool out of you.
My muse: I need you, YN. Don't leave me, please.
My muse: Are you safe at least? Did you get home safely? I'm not sure if you brought your car so if you need me to bring you home just call me or send a message, anything's fine.
He was on the verge of stopping by every house in the city just to find you when Heeseung told him to go home and rest. The boys had been trying to comfort Jay for hours now, but nothing had seemed to work. Not being able to cope with the sadness mixed with the flashbacks of your rendezvous, Jay accepts his friends suggestion, going back to his own house where he can rest peacefully… or so he thought.
All this while, Jay had been absentmindedly carrying your jacket around like a lost puppy, the one you left in Jakes guest room. It's the one thing he has of you at the moment and he can't help but grip on to it like his life depended on this sole object.
He sighs as he plops down onto his bed, both feeling spent and exhausted. Jay wanted to sleep, he really did, but how could he when the memories of your night together flashes in his mind on repeat. Not to mention how your jacket sits there on his bed, tempting him to sin.
It's sad, he knows. The memories of you becoming too extreme and plus, he's too miserable. How did a night so perfect become this disastrous?
Tonight, Jay was about to confess his undying adoration and maybe, you were going to do the same too. But it was all ruined because of something so trivial. Yet, how can he blame you? If he found out you only looked at him because of a game, he would walk out too, maybe even do something even worse. 
But that's not the case for Jay. There's not a single hint of doubt in his body that he loves you. But then again, you didn't know that. If only he had just confessed to you sooner, then maybe, this could've all been prevented. And because of his actions, he lost you. So, for now, as he spends the night wide awake, Jay tortures himself as his mind dive into the memories of both you and him, to the times you spent together doing something as simple as sitting next to each other and to the ones where he almost made love to you.
His mind drowns in all the possibilities; of you under him, on top of him, beside him. It's all making Jays mind fuzzier. The line between imagination and reality blurring as his erotic fantasies intensify. Forgive him. He knows it's not the time to be feeling this way, but what else can he do when you left him in the middle of the night, hard and horny. He's already cried his heart out, maybe now is the time to temporarily mend it.
Yeah, let's just patch it up with tape for now.
Jay is boisterous and never easily flustered when it came to topics like sex. If so, then why is he shaking?
His hands continue to trail around his stomach, thinking that it'd be an image you'll be impressed in. Jay takes pride in his physique because after all, he's trained ruthlessly for over three years just to get this kind of body. So, of course, he's going to want you to put at least some attention to it.
Eyeing the grip he has on your jacket, Jay debates whether or not to do it before finally saying fuck it. In a desperate attempt to keep his emotions at bay, Jay covers his face with the fabric of your jacket. The cloth is covered in your scent and it's intoxicating to him as only a few moments ago, you were the only thing in this world that he could feel, taste, hear, and smell. It's a simple perfume and it doesn't suffocate his nostrils when he inhales it.
As he does, the scent of you fills his systems and he's yet again reminded of the things that happened in Jakes guest room. He wonders what else you would've done if the two of you went further. Thinking like you're doing it to him, Jay begins by trailing his hand up to rest on top of his abs, caressing and tracing the soft skin. His breath hitches as he inhaled, getting another strong whiff of your scent coated on the jacket. "YN," He sighs.
Eventually, the light caresses he's making are just not enough anymore. He wants something stronger, something to distract him from his sorrows. Wanting to do so, Jay grazes his fingers on top of his nipples, stimulating them as he breathes in once more, nostrils filling with your scent before pulling the jacket off his face. His brows are furrowed, feeling the way his mouth waters at the actions he had been planning to do. Jay releases a small whimper when he finally moves tug on his nipples, imagining it's you doing it to him. Jay has never touched his nipples while misturbating before and he'd never once thought of doing it. Not until he got a taste of you. 
Wanting to get a better simulation of your wet lips on his body, he takes his fingers in his mouth and coats them with a thick layer of his own saliva before using it to pinch his nipples, tweaking the bud in his own fingers. It's only then does Jay notice the red colored tint that managed to mix with his saliva. It's the remnants of your lipstick that got smudged onto his mouth. This time, the boy releases a loud and drawn out moan, the scenario feeling all too real for his rotting brain.
"YN," He moans. "I l-love you." He chokes out the confession in between pants. 
As time goes on, Jays pants start to suffocate him, his boner getting harder the more he plays with himself as the various different scenarios of you on top of him plague his mind. 
The only position Jay could imagine the both of you in right now is you on top, taming and punishing him like the brat he is. He applauds himself for coming up with such a logical scenario. It's the only one that makes sense.
Bunching up your jacket into a small ball, Jay presses the fabric onto the bulge of his pants, imagining it as your cunt instead. He shuts his eyes close, head throwing back at the slightest stimulation. Jay flexes his jaw when he grinds his hips upwards into the fabric as he holds it in place. He feels ashamed of his actions. It's something he thinks a sane person won't do, but at the end of the day, is Jay still right in the head?
But it'll have to do for now. While he doesn't have you in his arms, he's going to have to make do with what he has.
He's not. It's clear in the way he hurriedly plies his pants off that he's not able to think clearly anymore. He wants you to ride him, wants to feel himself deep inside your pussy. But he can't because he's a stupid fucking piece of shit that can't get his priorities straight. Maybe if he had just remembered to tell you about how the game is fucked and that he doesn't care about it, then maybe, it would have been you on top of him right now instead of this makeshift pocket pussy.
With his goal in mind, Jay wraps the whole of your jacket around his dick. His hands hold the fabric in place, suffocating his dick with your scent as his hands start to guide it up and down. Endless rays of moans, whimpers, and groans spill out of Jays mouth, the sound of your jacket rubbing on his dick making his mind grow crazier. Like a broken record, Jay chants your name over and over as he continues to jack off.
That's how Jays night went. Despite the pleasure he received from his high, Jay was still depressed and sad. Now, however, it's mixed with a sense of shame and guilt, both at the fact that despite losing you, his mind still managed to come up with dirty scenarios of you together and because he soiled your jacket with his cum. 
It's no worries though, he can just get it dry cleaned before giving it back to you. Shame your scent won't be on it anymore, but maybe it's for the best since his mind might make up erotic fantasies of the both of you again.
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"Alright, ladies! Come over here." Heeseung calls and tuts for his team to come closer. He continues once all of his members are gathered around him. "Coach is out today. Something about getting his balls cut off." He informs, voice monotone with disinterest as his eyes never once leave the clipboard he's holding.
"As per his majesty's request, we're going to be doing 30 laps around the field today—" His words get cut off with a series of protests and groans coming from his own team. "Don't make me up to 60."
"3 reps of 200 Bench presses, 150 military presses, 150 squats. After that we're going to do deadlifts. Coach said Sunoo and Jungwon need to gain more muscle. So…" Heeseung continues to list on, reading the exercise routine their Coach provided for them while he's away.
Listening from the back, Jay eventually tunes out Heeseungs voice once he moves on to personal exercises. Instead, he diverts his attention towards the bleachers where multiple girls begin occupying the seats as per usual. It's normal for their fan girls to begin taking their seats once classes are over, wanting to catch a glimpse of one of them naked and sweaty. Jay doesn't mind the attention, however. What he does mind is how he still can't seem to find you anywhere. The boy has been searching for you for a whole day now. The two of you had literature class today and he was going to take that chance to talk and explain himself to you. But when he stepped into class, you were nowhere to be seen. You blonde little friend wasn't there either so it wasn't like he could ask her for your whereabouts. He could only pray that the two of you just decided to ditch literature class today as there's a dark corner in his mind that thinks you might have transferred to a different class, or maybe even a different school. But he knows better than to think that, especially when he finally saw the said blonde there, sitting on one of the bleachers. To Jays dismay though, there was no trace of you.
Ignoring Heeseung's call and his teammates' wandering glances, he joggs over to where your friend sat. She lets out a surprised yelp, quickly composing herself when she sees the man standing in front of her so suddenly out of nowhere.
"Hey," Jay casually greets her and then asks, "Liz, right?"
"Yes…" She drags, tilting her head to the side, eyes shifting back and forth between Jay and everywhere else as she begins to feel flustered under his intimidating aura.
"Do you know where YN is?"
An excited squeal escapes Liz's lips, struggling to contain her excitement when the question leaves Jays mouth. Liz is an innocent little thing and an oblivious one at that. No doubt, she's a friend you can come to when you're in need of a shoulder to cry on or a body to seek comfort in, but you can never lean on Liz when it comes to topics like relationships. In the best way possible, Liz is an airhead dreamer. Liz always looks as if she's in a different world, a world filled with her likes. She's tooth achingly nice and almost as pure as milk. There's not a bad bone in the girls body and that's why you love her to bits. Sure, there are times when she breaks character, but mostly, that's because she senses trouble in people. It's like the time when Yunjin dissed you and Liz fired back with her own reply. She's different and you can only curse her mother for letting her watch Harry Potter's Luna Lovegood on repeat as a child as there's no doubt in your mind that that was the reason for Liz's behaviour. But, nevertheless, you love the girl to death. 
That's the reason why Liz is still fond of Jay. When her dear friend came to her that night to cry her heart out, she comforted the girl in her arms, hushing her and telling her that everything was alright despite not knowing the horrors she just experienced. 
Liz didn't know what happened and if she asked, she knew you wouldn't tell her. So, she sticks to consoling you despite whatever events took place, oblivious to the fact that the man standing in front of her was the cause of it all. Maybe, not telling Liz was a mistake. Maybe, you should've tried using everything in your power to make her understand that this world isn't full of butterflies and roses. Instead, you should teach her the truth, that this world is unforgiving, so many worshipped God's and yet none of them take pity on you. But, despite what you think, you just can't taint her. Let her think that the world is wonderful, that everyone has kindness in their hearts. You'll carry all the burden just so she could stay happy.
"She's in the art room!" Liz eagerly replies, smiling crazily at the boy as the thought of Jay and you together still plague her mind. She's still convinced that you and Jay are meant together. Knowing Liz, she'll do whatever it takes if she thinks it'll make you happy and right now, she thinks that bringing Jay to you will help her achieve her dream. "You should go now. The art room is usually empty around this hour, so YN is the only one there." She ushers.
Smiling appreciably, Jay nods and thanks her gratefully. Jay doesn't question why YNs supposed best friend sells him the information so easily. Aren't best friends supposed to hate the guys who made their friends cry? Oh god, Jay didn't even think about it before, but he could've made you cry. The thought just makes Jays heart ache even harder and the feeling of self disgust seeps back in his system again. Nonetheless, he's grateful that Liz is giving him the chance to make it up and explain himself to you. He's determined to do so and if things go better than planned, he might come back to your good graces.
Before making his way towards the art room, he makes a detour and heads towards his locker. There, hangs the same jacket you wore the night he was about to love you deeper and the same night where he had unintentionally broken your heart. 
Securing the jacket in his hands, he catches a whiff of your scent on it and he can't help but bury his face in it, savouring and trying to imprint your scent into his brain. The possibility of losing you is great. If you decide that you don't want Jay anymore, he'll at least have your scent to carry him out through his life. Stray tears leave his eyes at the thought, heart wrenching as it struggles to handle such a sorrowful thought. He's praying to every God above and below for some sort of miracle, for him to be forgiven. He swears with his life that if some supernatural phenomenon does happen and you end up loving him, Jay's not going to mess around anymore. He's going to be yours to own solely. He's going to turn his life around for good. Fuck that wretched game. Fuck winning. He doesn't care about any of it at all. If he's being honest, even if you don't take him back, he's never going to participate in playing that silly game ever again. There's not a chance in this world he's ever going to get over you and there's an even bigger chance that he's never going to have sex with anyone else other than you. Abstinence is fine, he doesn't care. He knows he's not going to get you back with that, but he's trying to make a statement here, people. And plus, he has to start somewhere, right?
Peeking inside through the small gap he made on the door, he finds you sitting in front of a canvas with your back turned to him. Just like what Liz said, there was no other occupant in the room, but you. 
With your back turned to him, he's able to see what you're painting on your canvas. It's a picture of what seems to be a field of green. A huge tree is painted on the side of the canvas while two figures of a couple seem to be sitting down on a blanket. He stares at your canvas in awe, amazed at how something so breathtaking can come out using only someone's mere hands. His eyes are entranced, unable to look away as you stroke your brush on the canvas with so much confidence, unnerved of the possibility of making any sort of mistake. But, even if you were to ever make a wrong stroke, he's already sure that with the way your hands move so freely on the canvas, you can make even the ugliest of things attractive.
"If you're going to keep staring at me like that then just come in. You aren't really doing a subtle job at stalking me." Your voice catches Jay off guard. It makes him stumble on his own feet, falling down on his butt on the ground, slamming the door back on the wall with him along the way. Jay's cheeks flare up as once again, he has embarrassed himself in front of you. 
"S-Sorry." He stutters out, feeling flustered now that he's in your presence. Everything he's planned to tell you dissipates and it feels like he's choking. Your tone is vicious and it's clear to Jay that you're angry at him. He has to compose himself fast so he can't anger you any more by wasting your time.  Taking a deep breath, Jay breathes in and out, trying to tame his heart. It proves to be harder than expected however when he locks eyes with you, brows furrowed and lips pressed in a thin line.
"Why're you here?" You ask in a tone so cold and monotone that Jay almost whimpers. It's been a while since you've used such a way of speaking with him. The last instance he could remember was when you had met for the first time. But even back then, your tone was welcoming to Jay in a sense that he could tease you. 
This time, however, it's serious and you're angry. There's no room to joke, no room to tease and Jay feels like he's going to suffocate. He's never been this nervous to be around you. It's always him being comfortable, teasing, and messing around while you react to his jokes. This is too harsh for the poor boys heart and he just wants to be forgiven already.
"I— I came here… to… to—" He's mustering up the courage to speak, but it's hard when your stare is so intimidating.
You cut him off before he could stutter even more. "To, what? Don't waste my time, Jay." You say, harshly. "I don't want to see you right now so get to the point."
"Y-Your jacket!" He says, feeling a thin streak of sweat running down his temple as he utters out the first thing that comes to mind. "You left your jacket at Jakes house. Here." The boy murmurs before shuffling closer to you to pull out the said jacket you had left.
Looking at Jay blankly as if feeling dumbfounded, you then stare back and forth between him and his outstretched arm before taking the jacket from him slowly. At first, his grip on the jacket makes it seem like he doesn't want to hand it over to you. It's when you quirk an eyebrow up to question him does his grip relent, letting you take the jacket. "Thanks…"
You should be angrier, colder, you say to yourself. That was the initial plan; to live on the rest of your life ignoring Jay so you could forget about the love you have for him. But why is it that when the time came to execute your plan, you backed out? After what he did, your feelings should've been gone and yet, why do you feel such an immense sense of longing whenever you look at him and he's not by your side. It's impossible to ignore him, and it's even harder to do so when your heart yearns for his presence. It's suffocating having to be without him. You feel as if you were ripped in half, broken and can only be fixed by one person.
You wanted to be logical, you wanted to hear him out because maybe, just maybe, he actually cared for you. If he did and you didn't hear him out now, then you would've lived the rest of your life filled with sorrow and dread. You wait for him, watching him as he fumbles with the buttons of his practice attire. 
"Do you need anything else?" You know your tone is harsh, but you can't help it. You want to show him that you're mad, that you want an explanation, but you can't beg. No, you just can't. So, instead, you give him the decision to flip the coin whether or not he's going to explain himself. You just want one thing to come out of his mouth besides the word sorry. Just one thing. You need to know if he's true, if what the both of you had was real, because if you don't, you're going to go crazy. Love makes you crazy and it's ruthless, but for Jay, you won't hesitate to dive back in and eperience every struggle.
"I… I wanted to say sorry. It was never my intention to hurt you, YN." He says as a few moments pass with the both of you just staring at each other, savoring your possible last moments together if either of you makes the decision to reject the other. Jay needed to get his act together and tell you how he feels. He wants you and he's willing to fight for it. "I just wanna say that… that I'm in love with you. I really do. And before you say anything, can you please let me explain myself?" He begs, eyes filled with desperation.
Silently, you nod, letting him let out the words he wants to say as you try to process his words. He loves you. The one phrase you wanted to hear from him, it's there, he just said it to you. All this time worrying about whether or not he actually loved you was all just for nothing. Deep inside, your heart feels alive and joyful. It may sound stupid, but with those simple words, you already feel like it's already worth forgiving him.
Watching Jay exhale almost made you want to giggle. But of course, wanting to intimidate him, you refrain from doing so. 
"I love you, okay? A-And it's okay if you don't like me back. I mean, it— it isn't okay, but I would respect it." He stutters, cursing his awkward nature for coming out while he's in such a situation. "I just… My feelings for you, they were all real. Please believe me because I really do love you. My heart, I-It's never done this before, but whenever I think of you, it just starts hurting and it only stops when I'm finally next to you. I guess, in a way, you kinda… uhm, complete me." Feeling shy, he mutters the last part, debating whether or not it was too cheesy to say or not, but he ended up saying it either way out of nervousness. 
When he looks back at you to see your reaction, you only nod. Taking that as a sign that you're permitting him to continue, he does. "A-And about the game. The game… I'll be honest with you, I completely forgot about it. I promise, I never intended to take pictures of you that night. Honestly, just— just fuck the game, in general! Will you be my girlfriend, instead?" Jays mouth acts before he could stop himself from unintentionally spilling the words out.
Hear me out, it's not like Jay doesn't want you to be his girlfriend, he just doesn't think now is a good time to ask. Since you haven't said anything, you're still technically mad at him. He just couldn't help but feel carried away as he poured his heart out and of course, his heart also wanted to ask the very question he thought should come in last. 
Jay slaps his mouth shut as he's struck with bafflement. "I— I'm so sorry, YN! Ididn'tmeantoaskyouthatallofasudden. Iknowarelationshipisthelastthingyouwantfrommeanditotallyunderstanditifyourejectme!" He stammers all in one breath in an attempt to redeem himself.
Thinking he had completely fucked up his chances, Jay takes buries his face in his hands, too ashamed to look at you. Perhaps, if he looked up, he would've seen the amused smile on your face as you watch the boy cringe at himself. He continues to drown himself in embarrassment, chanting an endless degree of apologies as you sit there. Eventually, you start to giggle as you watch him. The euphoric noise pulls Jay out of his self-humiliation, now looking at you with unbelieving eyes as he watches you continue to burst into a fit of giggles. Throwing your head back as you clutch your stomach while wiping the non existent tears in your eyes, eventually making Jay realise that you aren't mad at him anymore.
Still though, he looks at you warily, wondering if this is a trap and that you're actually about to yell at him. He waits for a scream to tell him to leave, but nothing comes. "YN?" He asks you when you've calmed down.
"Oh, Jay." You manage to say in between deep breaths as you try to compose yourself. "You're just the cutest thing ever."
"I.. Wh—" He stumbles on his words, unsure of what to say nor what's happening. "Huh?"
He's just too cute! Ugh, you just want to squish his cheeks together. It's as if all the anger in your body has eroded with those simple words of affirmation. Honestly, it might seem like you're letting him get off the hook so easily, but what can you do? The boy has you wrapped around his fingers.
"I…" He trails off, unable to form words as he stands with your arms wrapped around the span of his thighs while your head rested on top of his toned stomach. "You really don't hate me?"
Smiling, you open your arms for Jay, spreading your legs in the process so he can step closer to you. When he does, you take him in your arms in a huge hug.
Jays body grows stiff, the situation still feeling odd to him. It was that easy? He was so ready to drop down his knees in front of you and start begging for you to take him back, to call himself worthless, to tell you that he's really really changed and that if you didn't believe him, he'll try his hardest to prove himself worthy of your affection.
Chuckling against his stomach, you nod, head rubbing on his skin before you tighten your arms around him as if to prove that you were serious. You can feel the boys sincerity through his words; how honest and true his feelings are. Although your wall has already been slowly chipping down, now, you let it fall completely. Your guard is no more and you've willingly pulled it down for only Jay to enter.
This time, you're dedicated not to make anymore accusations. You believed in Yunjin too quickly, and that was your fault. You put yours and Jays relationship at risk, and that was also your fault. Even though you've made so many mistakes, Jay is still at your front door, knocking and asking if he could enter. Despite hurting him, he's still begging for you to take him back. In a way, you feel bad for Jay. There's a part of you that thinks that because you've hurt him so much, you shouldn't have the privilege of being with him anymore. But Jay only wants you; your love, your touch, and your kisses. He doesn't want anyone else and he's willing to take the pain that comes with loving you because after all, what's love without a little pain? Jay's a masochist after all.
"I hope you know I'm not going to continue playing your little game, Jay." You say as you pull away to get a good look at him.
"I wasn't going to ask you to play the game in the first place." He replies, confidence slowly building up as the hope for a romantic relationship with you bubbles. "But if you want, you can just play with me instead." 
Taking a bold move, Jay leans his face downwards, closer to yours. Jay eyes the way you bite your lips while your own locks onto the attractive cut in the middle of his bottom lip. You want to lick it, to kiss it again, but you hold yourself back, wanting to tease the boy more.
At his offer, fire spreads through your eyes like wildfire and it doesn't help the fact that he's so close to you as you try to contain yourself from jumping him. Jay looks so hot when he's confident, when he's cocky. You remember a time where you used to hate this look on him and his other peers, but look at you now. With Jays classic smirk on his lips, it sets your mind into a frenzy and you're on the verge of losing all your self control. It's only a matter of time until you break, but you hope to god Jay crumbles first, for the sake of your pride. 
You can see the determination in Jays eyes and it only makes you swell with pride how eager the boy is to have you. With that being said, you wonder and ask him with a teasing tone. "Are you normally this shameless Jay?"
"Shameless?" He asks in such an innocent manner you almost forget how close he is to you without your permission. "I'm only like this towards you." He says, smiling cheekily.
"Ah," You let out, nodding your head before telling it to the side. Smirking, "You don't let girls go down on you normally, hm?"
"No," He answers, eyes trained to you and voice sounding far off and breathless as if in a trance. "Only you."
That's it. That was the last straw and now, your resolve is completely broken. The initial plan to keep things PG is thrown out the window. Now, you just want to have him, kiss him, lick him, break him.
Just like how he's so in control whenever he's in the field, you're going to play with him whichever way you want.
"Aw," You coo, hands brushing his hair back before using your nails to scratch behind his ear, like how you would when tending to a cat. "Is my kitty that needy?"
With the way Jays eyes look, you can tell he wants to close the gap and bring himself closer to you, however, before he could, your hand squishes both his cheeks as you hold him in place. Dejected, Jay whines and his mouth forms into a pout. His eyes plead for you to let him near and you're certainly not blind to the way his eyes yearn pleadingly while looking at the smirk coating your lips, silently begging for you to let him kiss you. Jay's used to getting what he wants, and he wants you. You're willing to give him what he wants of course, but not without teasing him first.
Having been caught so easily, he blushes at your question, wanting to look away in embarrassment, but your grip on his cheeks are hindering him from doing so. Then, he whines, both from the restriction and the nickname you gave him. "Answer me first, please." He meekly says, voice sounding small.
"Answer what, kitty?"
Jay blushes even harder, whining as he knows damn well you're aware of what question he's talking about. "Be my…" He starts, but his voice falters afterwards when he catches you staring at him with a teasing smirk on your face.
Biting your lips to conceal your laughter, you continue to mock him, loving the flustered look on someone so boisterous like Jay. "Be your, what?"
"Fuck," He mutters when you decide to take your teasing one step farther by standing up and wrapping your arms around the small of Jays waist, pulling his body close to you to the point where your noises touch. "Will you… be… my girlfriend?"
"There you go, baby." You say in a childish tone, applauding Jay for finally being able to mutter the question. Hearing another pet name come out of you makes Jay even shier than he was before, head now burying into your neck as he tries to conceal his feverous blush. "But, yes, Jay. I'll gladly be your girlfriend."
Fireworks erupt in Jays stomach, now feeling even bubblier as you accept him as your boyfriend. Unable to contain his happiness, Jay buries his head deeper into your neck while his buff arms wrap around your thighs so he can lift you up and spin you around. Both yours and Jays laughter fill the vacant room, uncaring whether or not someone in the halls might hear. They'll think the two of you are crazy, but you don't care. All you care about is the happiness of finally being complete and whole.
"Can I kiss you now?" Jay asks all too quickly as he carefully sets you down.
Laughing at your boyfriends eagerness, you nod, letting Jay capture your lips in his.
The kiss is innocent and light, but most importantly, it's perfect. It's not your first time kissing Jay, yet, there's something different about this time. Maybe, it's because now, neither of you are intoxicated. Maybe, because now, the two of you have shown your love for each other. Neither Jay nor can you suppress your joyous smiles as the both of you continue to kiss each other despite your teeth hitting from time to time. 
You hold Jays head still so you could properly kiss him and this time, you don't hesitate to kiss him harder in order to show how much passion and care you have for the boy. Of course, Jay immediately responds. It's like his second nature now. If you kiss him, his body automatically moves to answer even before his brain can process what's happening.
Jay tilts his head to the side, deepening your kiss and letting out a muffled moan when you slide your tongue past his mouth. For the second time, he lets you explore every crevice of his mouth, tangling his tongue with yours from time to time. You hum into the kiss when you feel Jays hands slide down to cup your ass. If it were any other day, you would've slapped Jays hand away while you scolded him, telling him how bold he's getting without your permission. But for now, you let him enjoy himself, let him explore and caress every part of your body. It's like he's trying to familiarise himself with his new property and like any other new owner, he wants to see everything bare and naked.
When you bite down hard on his lip, Jay whimpers, hand clutching your shirt as he looks at you with a gaze that tells you he wants something. Releasing the skin with one final nibble, he talks, "Let me fuck you." 
Jay should've seen it coming. He knows you're a tease, and that you'd never let him take the easy way in life. When you chuckle at his request, he knows he's in for the time of his life. "No."
"No?" He asks, unsure whether you really won't let him do anything despite showing the same amount of eagerness.
You hum, nodding. "No."
"Uhm, then…" He asks, shifting his weight between his legs awkwardly.
"I have something else planned for you." You tell him, a mischievous grin set on your face as your hand traces his shoulder in an attempt to help soothe his abnormally quick heartbeat "Be my muse again."
Dumbfounded, Jay looks at you with furrowed brows wondering why you so suddenly asked to paint him out of nowhere. But despite that, Jay agrees because at the end of the day, he'll do whatever you ask of him.
Seeing him nod, you bite your lips before giving his lips a quick peck. You guide him to sit on a chair a few inches in front of your easel. Placing yourself in between his legs, you ruffle Jays hair in a way that makes him look sweet and edible. You don't let a single hair go untouched as you hands rake his scalp and Jay only sighs in delight as he lets you do whatever you want to him and his body.
Finally deciding that you're done, you take a step back to admire the image of Jay that you've created; hair tousled like the two of you had been making out for hours, lips slightly swollen, and eyes looking at you wide and expecting. 
You let out a hum in approval as Jay watches you saunter back to stand in front of your canvas. "Take your shirt off." You instruct while your eyes stay occupied with picking the colors you want to use for your portrait.
When you're finally able to draw out your palette, you look at Jay. You raise an eyebrow at him, ignoring the shocked look on his face as his shirt still clings onto his body. Realising that he hadn't misheard you, he quickly shuffles to take his shirt off, letting it fall gently onto the floor close to where he sat. He looks at you expectantly, wondering if there's anything else you'd like for him to do. 
You let out a hum as you ponder, chin resting on your palms while you tap your feet on the hard ground. "Take your pants off too."
Now, Jay has an idea of what you want to do and he's just as excited as you are. So, after quickly kicking his pants off, he stays on alert for your next instructions. 
"Oh, Jay." You dreamily sigh, looking at your boyfriend as if he was your prey. "You look so good right now. I can just eat you out."
The fog in Jays mind is moving quicker than usual as now, It's actually you talking to him and not just his imagination creating scenarios for him. The way you talk to him is making him go crazy and he can feel his dick in his pants rapidly hardening despite you not touching him. 
"Do it." He tells you while his body looks for your touch. 
When he looks at you with strong eyes, you only laugh at him. "Be good, baby. Don't wanna ruin my portrait, don't you?"
"Fuck the portrait. I wanna fuck you." He curses, voice strong and demanding, both traits you aren't seeking as of the moment.
You click your tongue at how disobedient Jay is, rolling your eyes as you warn him that if does something he isn't told to, he's going to get punished. 
It's clear that Jay wants to challenge you when he shakes in his seat out of unruliness. It seems as if Jay doesn't believe your warnings, doesn't believe that you'll really punish him if he misbehaves. So, just to prove to him that your words are true and not empty threats, you walk up to Jay and yank his boxers down. Now, Jays dick is exposed to your stare and the cold air, both making Jays length harder. Initially, you had planned to take things easy and paint Jay while he's naked. But now that he's shown you his lack of respect, you're going to kick things up a notch by torturing him. It's a shame you didn't bring a vibrator with you, you could've used it on your brat, but no matter, you have other things planned that'll surely help you tame him.
Taking his dick in your hands, you let a thick glob of your saliva drop down onto his tip, spreading your lubricant around his dick while you jack him off. Jay immediately reacts by bucking his hips into your hand, choking out a surprised moan as he didn't expect for you to touch him so boldly. Despite you clicking your tongue at his actions, you love to see Jay getting desperate. Although your mouth drools at the sight of him fucking your hand while you jack him off, you hold his hips down, planting them on top of the seat as you continue to work on hardening his dick.
"Y-YN." He stutters, voice calling out to you as he closes his eyes and throws his head back in pleasure. "Keep… going."
Loving the reaction Jay's giving you, you gladly fasten the pace of your hand, seeking more of the noises he lets out. "That's it, kitty. Be a good boy and moan for me."
Now, Jay's panting, trying to catch his breath. Opening his eyes, he peeks a glance at you from between his spread legs, only to curse himself off for being so stupid as when Jay thought he could last atleast a few minutes before he blows, it's now cut to mere seconds, the image of you eyeing his dick with hunger making him too horny. "Stop! YN, please. Don't wanna… so soon…"
Hearing his cries, you slow your pace down a bit, grin only widening when you realise how quickly he's getting worked up. You let him recollect himself for a second before resuming back to work. This time, you press the palm of your hand on the tip of his dick. His head is leaking so much precum, it looks like it could amount to the same as your saliva. You collect him in your palm before going back down to the base of his dick. Jay lets out a strangled sob, the pleasure you're giving him feeling too good and despite his attempts to quiet himself down, he's just unable to when you're moving like you know every tick he has. The veins on Jays dick start to come out and it catches your attention so, you take your index finger and trace every vein on his dick with wonder. 
It's not that long before Jay's own high starts building up, and this time he makes it a point to tell you without the intention of stopping. Jay places himself on the edge of his seat, orgasming approaching the faster you jack him off. You focus on his head, taking the head in your fist and circling your wrist. Jays orgasm is right around the corner and before he could reach it, you pull away, leaving him to choke on air while his orgasm dissipates.
You look at Jay with humorous eyes, tongue coming out to lick your lips at the image of him panting heavily with his back leaned onto the chair. When he finally opens his eyes, they're completely drunk. "You're so mean." He pouts, still hung over his ruined orgasm.
Jay looks at you speechless yet again as you never seem to fail to surprise him. He whines, trying to persuade you to come do it to him instead and give up on the painting, but all you do is shut him up, telling him that if he doesn't do as he's told, he's never going to cum.
"I told you to be good." You remind him. "Now, keep touching yourself while I paint you." You command, tossing his dick on his stomach before leaving him to go back and stand in front of your easel.
Noticing the mess on your hand, you smirk before quickly locking eyes with Jay, taking your fingers in your mouth to suck and clean them off as you lick the palms of your fingers. Through that, you got a small whiff of his taste, mouth now watering as you feel your patience running low.
Finally acknowledging your threat, Jay nods his head disappointedly. The boy takes his dick in his hand, finally getting to feel how hard he's gotten and it's painful having to endure more of it. He'll never admit it, but he loves this side of you, loves it when you over power him and boss him around. He'll try to hide his liking for it by misbehaving or by talking back as he knows he'll never hear the end of it if you find out how much he goes crazy for a couple of insulting words from you.
"Go on, big boy. Show me how pretty you are."
And with that, Jay immediately gets to work. Starting off by using the remnants of your spit on his dick, he starts gliding his hand up and down in a slow manner, trying to build up the stimulation so he doesn't get overwhelmed too quickly and cum. From his half opened eyes, he sees a glimpse of you dipping your wide brush onto the circular palette. He's tempted to ask you for a peek as Jay always gets excited whenever you paint him. He feels special whenever he gets to be your muse, often times wanting to do a good job both because it's a portrait of him you're doing and also because he plainly just wants to do his best for you so you could praise him.
It may not seem like it but Jay's a sucker for your praises. It's just masked by how often you scold him for teasing you, but what can the boy do? At this point, teasing is practically his primary love language. He loves the way you react to him when he teases you, how good you are at putting him back in his place. He lives for that shit; annoying you and then paying for it later on. It's an event he won't ever get tired of no matter how often or how long you two do it. 
"Aw, baby." You coo, voice pulling Jay out of his head. 
"Y— ngh, yeah?" He seethes out, dick twitching uncontrollably because of your stare. 
"Your head looks so angry, kitty." You comment, chin nudging towards his direction. 
Indeed, his head is angry and not only that, but his body feels like it's on fire. Your words provide him not a single drop of help with keeping his orgasm at bay, mind only going crazier as he listens to all the dirty words you throw at him. "That's a good boy. You look so hot right now, Jay. Painting you always feels so nice."
With the quickening pace of his hand, Jay can feel how close he is to cumming. His only regret is telling you because the moment he announces that he's about to cum, you tell him to stop.
Despite Jays willingness, his body only abides to your words and thus, he has no choice but to halt his movements. Jay cries out, small tears trickling down the corner of his eyes at having been denied his orgasm twice. With pleading eyes, Jay sends a look of longing towards you, however, it gets ignored as you busy yourself with finishing a rough outline of Jays body. 
He calls out to you like a lost baby, pout only growing as he tries to make himself look cuter, hoping that you'd take pity on him. "Yes, baby?" You ask, head popping up at the side of the canvas to look at Jay.
"I need you, YN.” He answers, hand still wrapped around his dick as he bites down on his lip. The sight of him makes you wet and it's hard to resist him when he looks this amazing.  Because of the sweat, Jays abs are now glistening, the light shining through the window highlighting each pack of his muscle. When Jay pumps his dick, his stomach can't help but clench involuntarily at the stimulation, making it so that his abs flexed at the motion in an arousing manner.
You can't take it anymore, even just the thought of him makes your pussy wetter. All you want to do is plant your hands around Jay and that’s exactly what you're planning to do— after you finish your portrait. Jay doesn’t need to wait longer though. You only need to do a few more messy outlines before finishing. To be honest, when you asked him to sit down and be your muse again, you didn't expect to get technical with all the details, knowing deep down how little self-control you have when it comes to handling Jay. Like him, you just melt with every slightest touch he gives. You’re just better at concealing it.
Finishing off the portrait with highlights on his biceps, you nearly throw both your palette and paintbrush away in a rush to get to Jay. You don't even try to conceal the eagerness in you as you capture Jays lips in yours, turning it into a full on makeout session not even seconds after. A hand comes up to tangle into the strands of his hair, pulling and gripping onto his locks, making Jay grunt as your other hand grazes over curve of his collarbone, nails scratching his skin from time to time, eliciting a moan from the boy under you.
Alas, you’re finally on him and it’s everything Jay has ever wanted. Gone is the poor simulation of you in his mind because it just doesn't compare to the real thing. You haven’t even done much to him and yet he’s already moaning into your mouth like your fucking him. Jay doesn’t care if he looks desperate anymore. He’s waited long enough and now that you’re here, he’s not going to hold anything back.
Jay whines when you leave his mouth, wondering why you’d put him through this misery. He ends up eating his words soon after though when he feels your lips kissing the side of his neck. The kisses you plant are ticklish, making Jay recoil and giggle. Finding him cute, you smile at your boyfriend with adoration, eyes twinkling with love as he continues to laugh when you chase him and dive back into his neck. 
It’s cute for a moment while you plant a mix of short and sweet kisses all over Jays neck. Occasionally, Jay giggles, unable to contain his laughter as he grips on to your hips, making sure that you’re still close to him no matter what. However, the said innocent kisses soon turn into erotic ones when you sit yourself on his lap and right next to his erect penis. You take the same arm that used to be knotted in Jays hair, now placing them on top of his dick. Your lips go back to clash with his, spit mixing with each other as you let him suck on the bottom of your lip. Your hand starts pumping Jays dick at a languid pace, body leaning closer to his so that you’re chest to chest with him. Your free hand rests on top of Jays heart, feeling the rhythm of his heart beneath his skin.
Jay leans his head back, letting you kiss all over his throat. "Mark me."
"What’s the magic word, baby?" You ask, licking a long line on Jays neck.
Moaning, he answers, "Please. Please, YN. Mark me. Wan’ show everyone ’m yours."
"There we go." You tell him, patting his head. "That's a good, kitty." 
As per his request, you start to suck on Jays neck harder with the intent of creating bruises on his skin. Jay thanks you with a loud moan, hand wrapping around your body as he thrusts up into your hand. You plant hickeys all over Jays skin, not forgetting to lick it better afterwards to soothe his abused flesh.
Time goes on with you and Jay just making out with each other, limbs tangling in a desperate attempt to be closer. It’s not enough anymore as both of your bodies start to crave each other harder— not to mention the fact that Jay’s leaking so much into your hand, you’re afraid his dick is going to have a serious issue if he doesn't come sooner. And so, using that as an excuse, you finally stand up to pull your underwear down and hiking the pencil skirt you wore upwards, letting it sit on your waist. 
The boy stares at you with wide eyes filled with wonder, mouth hanging open as he eyes you pussy in front of him.  Noticing his intense stare, you chuckle, finding him adorable even in this state. ‘’You want it, honey?’’
‘’God, yes. Give it to me.’’ Is that even a question? Of course he wants to have a taste of you. It’s all he’s ever been thinking about so, of course he’s going to say yes.
Wrapping his hands around your thighs, Jay pulls you to him abruptly, making you yelp. Spreading your legs apart, Jay slides his nose in between your folds and inhales your scent of arousal. Your hands ravel themselves into Jays hair where you feel his nose bump into your clit. You’re so horny, the slightest touch already has your knees weak.
Jay then gets to work when you push his head towards your cunt, taking that as his signal. His tongue dives into your wetness, immediately groaning against your vagina when he finally gets to taste you. The vibrations made by his mouth sends shocks of pleasure throughout your body, feeling it tingle harsher when Jay starts to lap onto your hole. 
"Jay, baby," You moan, rolling your hips harder into his face.
Unable to talk, Jay replies to you with a hum, pressing his tongue harder and making you buck against his face. Jays pace picks up when he hears the way you’re moaning for him. He wants to hear more, wants to hear how good he is at eating you out. He’s desperate for more so, he shifts his attention from your hole to your clit instead, wanting to see your reaction. When Jay opens his eyes, he had to desperately pray to all the deities in this world just so he could compose himself and not cum at the sight in front of you. There you are, with your back arched, one hand pressed on to the back of his head to keep him place while the other tangles with your own hair. Your face is contorted in pleasure, brows furrowed, eyes closed, and lips caught in between your teeth, Your mouth opens from time to time to give Jay more affirmation, whether it’s in the form of moans, grunts, whines, or words, he doesn’t care, he’ll take what he can get.
"Baby— fuck," You hiss, thighs shaking as you feel your orgasm near. "I’m so close, baby. Keep going."
Only replying with a firm nod and a low hum, Jay fastens his movement onto your clit, circling his muscle around the bud. The action makes you go crazy, hands now gripping on to Jays hair with force as you concentrate on achieving your orgasm. It’s so near that you start shaking, moans growing louder when all of a sudden, everything is ripped away from you. 
Jay backs away from you with a smirk, feeling proud of what he did as he grins at you in a cocky manner despite his mouth and chin being covered by a mixture of his saliva and your wetness. 
You should’ve known that was going to happen. It’s Jays nature to tease you. Plus, you knew he’d get back at you for edging him so many times in the past. The thought just flew out of your head, too focused on the thought of cumming. Frustrated, you tug on Jay's hair, trying to get back at him for what he did. Even though you didn’t get the chance to cum, your thighs are still quivering like they did. 
‘’Hey hey, you can’t get mad at me.’’ He says, backing off while he stays seated on the chair when he sees the way you eye him. ‘’If I don’t cum, you shouldn't either. We should cum together, riiight?’’ He says, dragging out the last word in a teasing voice.
‘’True,’’ You agreed before abruptly pulling him by his hand towards the huge table in the corner of the room. You take your place on top of the table, leaving him there to stand in between your legs. With your thighs spread open, Jay gets a clear view of your leaking vagina as well as your throbbing clit. Jays mouth waters at the sight, feeling enticed to just lean forward and eat you out again. But before he gets to, your legs wrap themselves around him, pulling him forward. His dick presses perfectly into your vagina and it even gets coated with some of your wetness. The two of you moan in unison, both desperate for their release. 
As the both of you can’t wait any longer, you throw him the silver packet that’s been hiding inside your chest pocket, telling him to put it on. Jay does so without complaint, grateful that he’s finally getting some pussy after such a long time. 
He almost can’t believe this is actually happening. He thinks that at any moment now, he’s going to wake up from this wet dream alone and without you. But now is not the time to dwell on such thoughts when you’re literally right in front of him, with your legs spread, eyes keenly watching as he slides the condom on his dick with shaking hands.
Jay lines himself with your cunt, breath quickening as he readies himself for what's to come. It's been awhile since he's done this with anyone, and the nerves are getting to him. Now that the real thing is hereward, all the skills he learned in the past seem to flow out of his head. 
What if he doesn't perform well, would you be disappointed? 
What is he even talking about? Of course you're going to be disappointed. All that talk about wanting to fuck you yet, he can't can't use his dick right.  What kind of woman wants their man to be so incapable? Obviously, not you. Jay can tell from the way you carry yourself that you wouldn't lower your standards for anything other than perfect and yet, here Jay is, your boyfriend.
Still, his baseless doubts doesn't stop plaguing his mind. His breath is shaking, palms starting to sweat as he eyes your entrance. Jay wants to do good, show you that he's worth the risk you took. Jay's not a fool. He knows his reputation around school. That he's a manwhore that gets around by flirting with multiple girls at once. Not only that, but he knows how much you despise the varsity team. Yet, here you are, ready to let him fuck you. It means more to him than you think. You letting him be this close to you means that you trust him enough to show your most vulnerable parts and that just makes Jay even more nervous.
From where you laid, you watch with soft eyes as Jays hands start to shake. Your own hands shooing his off so you can put his dick inside you yourself. "You don't have to be so nervous, baby. Here, let me do it."
Placing the head of his dick inside your vagina, the both of you groan simultaneously. "Jay— fuck. You're so big, kitty."
Hearing you moan his name and compliment him at the same time makes Jays thighs tremble, the feeling of being inside is you is too overwhelming and he feels like his knees are about to fold. Noticing this, you take Jays hands in yours, letting them rest on the bottom of your stomach to provide him with some support. 
He knows you're just trying to help him, but it really isn't working. Placing his hands there is only driving him nuts as once he was able to fully push his whole dick inside you, he got to feel the outline of his length inside when he pressed down on your abdomen.
"I… I can—" Jay's trying his best to talk, he really is, but whenever he tries, it just gets cut off with a sound of a sound of appreciation.
"Yeah, baby?" You chuckle when he fails to complete his sentence. "You feel yourself inside?"
Jay responds with a semi loud sob as he nods his head to your question.
"Take it easy, honey." You tell him, patting his cheek to console the worried boy. "I'm not going anywhere."
You're not going anywhere.
That's when Jay calms down. Hearing you say those words put his thoughts at ease. No matter what happens, you'll be there beside him so Jay shouldn't worry so much about messing up. He has your whole lives to love you, your whole lives to treat you like his queen. It makes Jay realise that he shouldn't be so caught up on trying to be perfect. I mean, he wants to perform well and he knows he'll achieve that when he shakes these invasive thoughts away. Now knowing what to do, Jay shakes to get a grip of himself and before you know it, he's already thrusting his hips into your cunt.
You release a dragged moan, hands pulling Jays head down so the two of you can kiss each other. Angling your head to the side, you put your tongue inside Jay and he gladly sucks on your muscle. Amidst the messy kiss you and Jay share, drool starts to seep past between your lips and pooling down your chin. 
The urge to hold on to something arises and he can only think of your boobs to grip onto. Muttering the request to you, Jay's quick to act as the moment you tell him that he can, he's already ripping your blouse open and tearing your bra down. Jay leaves the sanctuary of your lips, wanting to give your boobs the attention they deserve. Your nipples lay there erect, inviting Jay on to lay his tongue flat on your nub. He licks the skin greedily before sucking on your skin harsher while he busies himself with groping your other breast. 
Both his movements inside you and on your tits are driving your mind crazy and you can't help but scratch your nails onto his broad back, trying to grasp back a sense of reality. His movements are so good and so precise, you can feel yourself slipping between realities. Jay does a good job at finding the spot your crazy for the most as once you start to thrash around under his hold, he knew he was hitting your g-spot, and your boyfriend doesn’t hesitate to abuse it. It only makes you crazier, moans spilling out uncontrollably as it mixes with his own. 
The noises Jay releases are euphoric and you don't hold back from commenting on it. "You sound so pretty, Jay. Keep moaning and I'm gonna cum."
Those words are what fuels Jay to thrust into you with more vigor. It's different from the casual pace he had used on you beforehand. Now, his pace is harder and rougher with the goal of making you cum in his mind. He wants to see you fall apart under him, wants to see the face and the noises you make when he makes you cream on his cock. Jay spreads your thighs apart, wanting to reach a deeper part of you.
Feeling his own high coming, Jay announces, "Wanna cum with you." 
Despite being so close, you nod your head, willing yourself not to cum. Your breath gets caught up in your throat when Jay starts hitting that specific spot inside you faster, making you release a loud moan. "Shit! Right there, honey. You're doing so fucking good. Baby, cum for me."
With the way your pussy's squeezing the entirety of Jays cock, milking him for his release, Jay can't help but go feral, especially when you insert such dirty words through his ear. The sweat on Jays body paints a perfect picture of him, his muscles flexing every time he moves. His thrusts become more frantic and less rhythmic as he feels his high washing over him and before he knew it, he's already gripping both of your breasts in his palm, lips latching on to yours as the both of you cum.
Jays body lurches forwards, making him push his hips deeper. He tucks his head into the crook of your neck, body becoming numb as your skin pressed onto his lips muffle his cries. Jay spurts his cum inside the plastic, some of it even spilling out because of how much he'd cum. After, he lets himself thrust into you at a languid pace, letting the both of you ride off your highs together. 
"I love you, too by the way." Panting, you say, realising you left his confession without an answer. 
He chuckled against your neck and then smiling right after because of how happy he was. "I love you more." He hmphs, egging you on for a challenge.
"Oh, yeah? I doubt it." You reply with a mischievous grin, leaning up to rub your nose against Jays. While doing so, your eyes catch a glimpse of the portrait you had previously made. "Think they’ll still accept your entry even though it’s not me on the picture?’’
Looking at you, your eyes lead him towards where your gaze is focused. He blushes, completely forgetting the naked painting you did just minutes prior. Catching on to what you were saying, Jay jokes, "They better. I need an ego boost after all that torture you put me through."
That day, you created your best artwork while Jay got his ticket to victory.
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litfeathers · 1 year
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Before Hunter's Palisman Observations... Before Lilith's Letter... Before Luz's Diary Entry...
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A witch's quill scratches on paper, her eyebrows furrowing in thought as she fills a well-worn book with her thoughts and desires and fears.
She smiles at the yellow bird who is fast asleep on her extra pillow, and with a snap of her fingers extinguishes the light spells that had been illuminating her cozy bedroom.
She sleeps.
She dreams…
She dreams of a strange world. A world without magic. A harsh world of rules, and penance, and fear.
A man stands in front of a bonfire, the glow of the firelight dancing on his wild blond hair. He is surrounded by a screaming crowd, torches and pitchforks and fists waving in the air.
"No," she begs. "No, no, no, no."
She calls his name over the cacophony of violent chanting, her voice muffled by the roar of the growing conflagration.
He turns.
She screams.
Blood. Smoke. Fire. The flash of a knife. It all happens too fast.
He is gone.
...and she wakes up.
Welcome to Evelyn's Journal.
Credits: -The phenomenal cover art was drawn by the absolute legend @bananadramaaa. Thank you so much for your help! -The script and Evelyn's voice were written and recorded by Birdie (that's me!) -It's probably pretty obvious, but this project was directly inspired by the audio recordings a few of TOH's VAs did for one of Dana's charity livestreams. Look them up if you have never heard them. They are fantastic!
The audio and script will also be available at AO3 on (or some time after) Sunday, March 26th. You may find it at litfeathers if you would like to give this project some love over there too!
The complete script can be found under the read more, so you may follow along if you wish.
Grab a snack and get comfy. We have an almost 15 minute runtime! Enjoy! 🔥🪶
Scaburary 10th
I had to cover for Bileadona at work. She never showed up for her shift, and so Goldie and I were forced to make an unexpected trip to Bonesborough.
Extra disappointing, since I was planning to spend the afternoon in the garden with my sketchbook. I wanted to redo my blue jay drawing, as I am not quite satisfied with it.
Ah, well. I’ll draw in the garden tomorrow.
Scaburary 11th
UUUGHHH DAMN RAIN!
Goldie has been moping and staring out the window at the sizzling forest all morning, desperately wishing she could have her early morning flight through the trees. I have given her a handful of seeds to help her feel better. She seems pouty still, but has cheered up slightly. She is currently ordering the seeds from most to least appealing. Heh. This should take her a while.
Only two days are left!
Scaburary 13th
Work, work, work. I couldn’t stop watching the sunlight and shadows slowly move across the library floor and sighing impatiently. Bileadona happened by my cart as I was shelving books, and asked why the calendar at my desk is so strange. I told her it was an old-fashioned solar calendar from the bloodievil period. She didn’t seem to buy it, but didn’t push the subject.
I also made a quick…detour before I went home. Just to say hello to some dear friends. Some very special friends who are going to severely regret their actions from last week.
*evil witch cackle*
As an added bonus, I finally managed to nab one of their…creative drawings of me. It is now proudly displayed on my living room wall, just above the couch. Truly, it is a work of art, and I am humbled by their kindness.
I just hope they find my return offering just as humbling ehehehehe.
I have been getting more and more excited for every visit to the Human Realm. Not that I have been there recently. I most definitely have not. Don’t be absurd.
But anyway. This week has dragged endlessly! I cannot wait for tomorrow.
It’s nice to have a friend.
Scaburary 14th, Human Realm year 1623
Today was nice.
It was a Friday in Human reckoning, so Caleb and I enjoyed the usual supper on a blanket in the snowy woods. I made sure to include dragon bacon sandwiches and deviled griffin stew in the spread, as they are his favorites. And of course, a thermos of hot apple blood to warm us up. It was a marvelous feast!
He looks a bit better lately. His skin is less pale, and the shadows under his eyes are less prominent.
The moment I landed at at our spot, Caleb immediately asked me if I had anything to do with the recent vandalism of the Gravesfield meetinghouse. I plead innocent. He grimly informed me that someone had scribbled all over the siding, and that one of the drawings bore a striking resemblance to Goldie. I expressed my deepest sympathies for the poor soul who would have to clean it up. He further informed me that the words “Evie was here” were scrawled over the front door. I told him that since my given name isn’t Evie, it’s Evelyn, he was clearly looking for another culprit. He grabbed me by the shoulders, looked me dead in the eye, and told me, in the most fed-up of tones, that the drawings could move.
“Huh,” I said. “In that case, it sounds like you might have a witch on your hands. I hear they are pretty tricky to deal with, but seeing as you are such an expert witch hunter, you surely won’t have a problem rooting her out!”
At that he made such a ridiculously frustrated face, I could no longer hold in my laughter. It was the look he gets where his cheeks flush and his nose flares. The red even reached his ears this time! Fantastic.
He gave up at that point. He just sighed deeply and shook his head. But I could tell he was desperately trying to hold back a smile.
While we enjoyed our meal, we got on the topic of weather. After my previous deception, he didn’t quite believe me when I told him that rain boils in the Demon Realm. When I cast an illusion to show him a typical Boiling Isles thunderstorm, his eyes lit up brighter than the sun. As fun as it is to tease and banter with him, I think I vastly prefer those quiet moments between us. When the storm clouds lift from his eyes.
*trails off*
I can tell he’s lonely.
Last week, while we were on our owl watch, he mentioned offhandedly that he hasn’t received a proper hug in years.
I was about to feign ignorance and pretend to not know what a hug is, until I realized that…err. Well, we are two galdorpeas in a pod in that regard, aren’t we?
And no, I did not offer myself up. Because some walls are built for a reason.
Caleb is surrounded by pitchforks and torches and prying eyes.
His village is dangerous.
His brother has been asking more and more…questions.
I know I shouldn’t keep doing this. I know I can’t keep doing this. There is a line, and I am terrified that I am gleefully dancing towards it, and one day I am going to be unable to stop myself from crossing into something…
*deep sigh*
…something I cannot come back from.
I am unwilling to admit this anywhere but here. And this is difficult to write, even if my eyes are the only ones that will ever read it. But…
He scares me.
Hah! How silly is that? We’re the closest of friends. I am a powerful adult witch. And I am scared of him?
It makes no sense. Witch hunter my butt! I trust him completely. He is kind. Sweet, even. No matter how much sass and grumpiness he sprinkles into his words, it is abundantly clear that his heart is made of pure gold. His smile could melt snow. His soft words could tame the wildest slitherbeast. His laugh is pure music.
*embarrassed cough*
So, then. Why the fear? Why have I been finding myself so on edge around him lately? It’s incredibly frustrating.
Words are difficult to get out. My pulse quickens when he sits too close. I can no longer look him in the eye without my face heating up. What else could cause this but fear? It is clearly my body warning me that what I am doing is incredibly foolish.
Or perhaps it’s just the apple blood.
*sighs in frustration, then there is a long moment of silence*
No. I’m not that naive. I know it’s not the apple blood. It’s just that…I’m…
I’m not ready.
I don’t have much more I would like to say on this topic, so I suppose I shall end this entry and tuck myself into bed with a good book. Perhaps Goldie would like for me to read her another story.
Here’s hoping for some nice dreams. Titan willing.
Goodnight.
Scaburary 15th
I had the day off from work. I tried to draw in the garden, but my redo of the blue jay sketch came out even worse than the original. I ended up spending most of my day on the couch, half paying attention to a book I could barely focus on enough to read.
I had dreams last night. Dreams I absolutely refuse to relive by writing them down.
Please. Please, please, please let tonight be better.
Scaburary 16th
Oh, Titan. I hate this.
I have made a decision. A decision I am absolutely miserable to be making.
It’s something I can absolutely not back out on. Something I should have done ages ago.
Something I should have done before I got…attached.
No matter what, this will end in pain. But it must end. Before he is harmed. Or worse. I know what I must do. But it hurts. I have to protect him. This week will be rough. Please wish me luck and courage.
Scaburary 17th My chest hurts. My eyes are sore. Everyone has been giving me space at work. I am sure they can tell something is very wrong, but no one has pried. At least I managed to keep it together until I was halfway home. Be proud of my fortitude.
After I was done being sorry for myself, I got an idea. I am unsure if I will be able to follow through with my plan. But if I can find my courage, perhaps I can at least try.
When we say our goodbyes, I can at least ensure Caleb still has a friend.
I haven’t carved a palisman in years. Not since I made Goldie with Mother and Father. And not since they…
*chokes up for a second*
I don’t even know if I remember how. But there is a grove of healthy palistrom trees in the backyard. And I still have my knife.
I even know what he would want.
Fine. Tomorrow I will start carving.
Scaburary 18th I opened my journal to write, but I have nothing substantial to say. This week has been miserable. I wish it were Friday so I could get this over with. Goldie keeps offering me seeds to cheer me up. I’m sorry, Goldie. I appreciate the gesture, but not everything can be fixed with a tasty seed.
Scaburary 19th I sent Goldie to deliver my final rebus message. I got such an excited response back, I nearly lost it again. He has heard a saw-whet owl in the woods by the fields. He wants to take me out there to listen for it. Sounds lovely. I suppose it’s nice to look forward to one last owl watch. What should I do with the remaining Titan’s blood? Dispose of it? Donate it to a researcher? All I know is that I cannot keep the vials. Lest I be…tempted. I’ll miss the birds. Caleb’s gift is drying on the kitchen table. I wonder what wish he will make.
Scaburary 20th I am surprisingly calm. There is something to be said for allowing yourself to…feel. To let your emotions exist, acknowledge them, let them out. That isn’t typically how I operate, but perhaps it can be advantageous to…sometimes…occasionally…not bury everything? As much as I hate to admit it. I was even able to laugh at Goldie’s antics. She brought home a rattle worm and pretended to feed it to our new scarlet friend. She even feigned offense when he refused her gift by remaining silent and wooden. Silly bird! I don’t know what I would ever do without her. I think I will be fine. Once the dust settles. We will all be fine.
Scaburary 22nd I do not know where to start. It is late evening. I am sitting here in bed, journal in lap, as usual. But Goldie is perched on my shoulder instead of her usual spot on my extra pillow. Because my extra pillow is occupied. It is occupied by a blond human and a small red bird. Oh. He just reached out in his sleep to hug my waist. I suppose I’m trapped now. I’ve never been so happy. I’ve never been so happy, and yet so anxious? I can’t stop smiling. I don’t think I’ve stopped smiling or swooning or giggling since last night! How embarrassing. How completely and utterly embarrassing! ...Goldie, I know you are reading this. I can hear you laughing! Quit it! I think I’m still in a bit of shock-GOLDIE THIS IS PRIVATE. I haven’t quite processed any of this-I KNOW YOU CAN FEEL MY EMOTIONS AND HEAR MY THOUGHTS! I DON’T CARE! YOU’RE STILL BEING NOSY. WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE WERE BOTH SO OBVIOUS? I SAID STOP LAUGHING!!! Fine. You were right. Is that what you wished to hear? Are you happy now, you smug little feather brain? Good. Anyway. Where was I? Everything happened so…fast. The last 24 hours have been absolutely wild. And terrifying. And…intense. But I think I can finally admit something important, even if it’s only here for now. Let’s see if I can manage to actually write it. Goodness, my hand is shaking. Alright. I can do this. I can do this. I can do this. Here goes… *swoons a little* I’m in love. Goodnight, everyone. Sweet dreams. *snaps fingers, and light spells are extinguished* Sung: You are not alone No matter how far you have flown Together we feel we’re at home In darkness light shines in your bones *As she hums the song fades out*
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transparencyboo · 3 months
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For the last two weeks or so I've been playing the Mega Drive dungeon crawler Shining in the Darkness. I've recently been going through all the various action-RPGs the system had to offer and kinda found myself lusting for more, so I expanded the scope.
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Shining in the Darkness had one of those cover arts I vividly remember seeing in game stores during the 90s, I understood already back then that whatever this was would be too complicated for my feeble preschool brain, but it had a shiny glossy allure that still beckoned to me with promises of daring adventures and grand battles. Questions lingered in my head: Who is that evil bastard zapping sparks at Cavin from the Gummi Bears? Why has the king entrusted the safety of his kingdom to a meagre boy and his two misfit friends?
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Well, it turns out that big bad guy is called Dark Sol, the bane of all game difficulty discourse, and the reason the king has enlisted three poor kids is because there is no one else to rely on after your daddy went missing. Everyone else just sorta gives up along the way.
My initial conclusion of this game was to commend my young self for the striking assessment, my five year old self would never get anywhere in this game between the English text, abstracted navigation and number crunching battle mechanics. Shining in the Darkness is a bona fide classic dungeon gauntlet endurance simulator, where you traverse vanishing point block tunnels and encounter enemies. I've played one or two games like this before, like the original Phantasy Star, but this time a new desire struck me. I wanted to draw maps. Maybe I'm just getting older and more patient, leading me to wilfully ignore easily available resources online.
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By my recollection, this is the first time I've dedicated myself to playing a game like this. Usually I just resort to my sense of direction, which I've gathered seems to at least be above average, since anytime I go anywhere with anyone I always end up playing shepherd so they don't get lost. Worst case scenario I'll just fall back to mapping efforts by online heroes from years past. For Shining in the Darkness I persisted blindly about halfway through until I admitted to myself charting a map of the labyrinthine caves would be a lot easier. Luckily, the game allows you to spend 1 MP to see a chunk of where you've walked, meaning I could get neatly organized segments to copy by hand.
Perhaps my biggest takeaway from this endeavour was how much of the game experience was expressed through this map project. I spent just as much time slaying beasts as I did counting tiles and filling them out with my pencil. It became a natural counterbalance that provided vital pacing to the game mechanics. Walking, fighting, charting. In turn, through the principle of learning by doing, I gained a more intimate familiarity with the environments by just replicating them out on a sheet of paper. I found that while the map helped, I actually didn't need it much for backtracking because my drawings had helped me remember the layouts of the corridors anyway.
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I guess the lesson learned is that while old design sensibilities may appear to be arcane and cumbersome when easier solutions exists, the obfuscation is part of the fun. The game hands me an intentionally hard to navigate world, shows me that it's fully capable of displaying maps of it, but still asks me to provide that dimension myself. Through doing this, I discover that drawing maps is both surprisingly enjoyable and cognitively stimulating. I realize that had I downloaded some pre-packaged maps online and used as my bible, Shining in the Darkness would've been a vastly different experience, one of monotonous meandering through endless fights while confidently striding along the known path.
Perhaps that's why the game was called Shining and the Darkness in Japan, it doesn't flow as well as the western title, but at the same time it poetically reflects this act of discovery. I am Shining, the game provides the Darkness, we work together, we must unify to become whole.
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As for Dark Sol, he turned into a big monster boy and was vanquished by a spunky cartographer child and her two cohorts. The unknown has been made known and the kingdom is once more saved.
/Kiki
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roadkill-raccoons · 1 year
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just found out about your peachblood au but can't quite figure out what the story is or what it's about. it looks like some kind of apocalypse AU, but other than that I don't know anything ;-;
By the way, your art is beautiful!
AHH im sorry 😭, im not good at writing down my thoughts into ways that are understandable
I wouldnt say theres much of a story other than the beginning.
This au is heavily inspired by adventure time, a little bit of steven universe, the last of us and some story me and a friend where making but completely forgot about, plus the weird shit that goes on in a my dreams.
Yes its an apocalyptic story, i made it as a massive excuse to draw some weird ass shit when i felt like it.
It mainly starts with Mk traveling alone just trying to live and eventually find peachy (that pink monkey) scrambling around in a peaches box in a old corner store.
Mk and and the monkey travel for a bit before they run into macaque and bai he, where macaque decides to fuck with Mk nearly getting him and peachy killed multiple times.
After they escape macaque they run into a forest that they stay in for a couple weeks, going deeper into the forest where they find monkey kings staff, laid in front of an empty grave for the undead monkey, the six eared macaroni macaque.
Mk did not remember who the monkey king was since he spent most of his life trying to live after tang and pigsy passed, so despite being in a very magical looking place he takes the staff as a form of protection, somehow assuming its just a regular staff that someone lost, he does learn a bit from a comic he found.
Mk and peachy travel for couple months in different cities where each were filled with strange creatures (i have so many failed sketches for these creatures) most of these creature use to be people or animals that were affected by a man made virus that a demon (lbd) took advantage of.
Mk and peachy eventually find boat while running from something and use to it to escape, where they float around in the ocean surviving on backpack food and fish for about a month before washing up on flower fruit mountain, yeah mk somehow slept through sailing through those big ole fiery mountains, peachy didn’t tho.
Once mk woke up he saw the villages at the top of the mountains and wanted to go up the tallest one to ask for help.
He finds monkey kings little hut but not monkey king, since it was empty he fell asleep, where he woke up to wukong poking at him non stop
After that mk spends a month learning who wukong really is and what he did and can do (he learns through the monkey villagers, not wukong hes basically become a lazy dad after being alone for so long) after a few attempts wukong agrees to travel with mk for a while. Peachy didnt totally try to fist fight three baby monkeys
That where the main story ends and rest is just mk and wukong doing whatever. Not much of a story afterwards since then its just kinda open for interpretation, dilly little ideas n shit
Hopefully this is all understandable, im used to describing shit in very strange ways. I actually also keep forgetting about it too :,3
If none of this makes sense you can also go thru the #peachblood au tag
And lastly 🥺🥺thnk you!!!!
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blackbackedjackal · 18 days
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So to put this in perspective. I was about 5-7 when The Burned Furs was happening. I literally went to see Pokemon: The First Movie IN THEATERS, while this was going on.
By the time I was using the olde internet was about 10 or so. My family had a home computer system with Windows 98 and kept things upgraded over the years due to my dad needing access to "the internet" for work. I was left alone a lot as a kid (busy father/neglectful mother) and this was around the time of "CHECK OUT WWW.POKEMON.COM FOR MORE DETAILS" kind of time of the early internet + advertising. Like I was still using AOL dial-up for a lot of my original internet deep dives. Then, when things like Neopets took off, I was using the computer religiously. I stayed (mostly) on kid-safe spaces, but of course, the internet was, and is, the internet and I eventually branched out. I wanna say I was looking up pictures of Inuyasha to print out and use as art reference, as well as Digimon and Wolf's Rain. I know one of the earliest pieces of furry media was Renamon porn around 2002-2004, as well as a lot of art by Dark Natasha through her website.
At some point around 2005-2006 I stumbled onto VLC. I remember because I saw some furry art by an artist and really liked his style and was emulating it for a bit. At this time, furry art was still ruled by many people emulating Animalympics (which I only knew of because my family owned one of the first official releases of the VHS copies), as well as Osamu Tezuka's deep stylistic influence on the furry community in the 80-90s. The Disney influence from TLK hadn't fully seeped into the community at that point, and, being a little anime kid, I was genuinely fascinated with the art style. One of the first pieces of art I posted online was something I drew inspired by some furry fox art I saw on VLC, but then hyperfixated more into the general "I wanna draw a cool edgy anime wolf" kind of thing.
My first OC, Jade Shadowblood (lol) I made when I was about 9-10. I still own the sketchbook where I first drew her. This was sometime around 2001-2002. She was an Inuyasha self-insert character and intended to be "me" if I was in Inuyasha. I always refereed to her as "this is me if I was a wolf demon" to my friends at the time when I showed them my art in elementary school. I got the idea to make more "wolf demons" of my friends when they asked me if I could draw them as wolves at school. I took a lot of design inspo from Neopets/Neopets Adoptables at the time, and a lot of my original OCs were in fact, based off of kids who were my friends at the time (I have all of these original pieces still saved to this day).
Anyway, I joined DeviantArt in 2006 when I was 12-13 under the handle ShroudofShadows. I heard the name on Xiolin Showdown and thought it sounded cool for an internet username. This was my first real venture into social media. I scanned in and posted some of my old art, and continued making art inspired by Inuyasha, Wolf's Rain, Neopets, etc. It wasn't until about 2007 or so when I shared Jade on DA that one of my friends asked me "is this your fursona?" and I was like "what's a fursona?" and well, here we are I guess?
My first webcomic was started at this time, I found out about other people making wolf comics with their characters and I was like "I wanna do that too". The OG Wolf Song was heavily inspired by Inuyasha/Wolf's Rain, but because I also liked Don Bluth, an inspiration Kay Fedewa also used for her art, I got lumped in as "copying" Kay Fedewa because our styles were similar.
Kay got started with The Blackblood Alliance around the same time I did, and did influence about 5 or so of the original pages. Even though I knew my characters and plot were different and eventually would deviate from looking similar to her art, I just leaned into it since people were accusing me of copying her when we just happened to be posting around the same time. I had no idea who she was prior to people comparing me to her.
Wolf Song, ran for several years, but due to being bullies by TheRoguez/RayJ and her band fo merry fuckwads who made it their goal to "remove" wolf comics off of deviantart (the great sparkledog cleanse) and people like MirrorZan and BlueShineWolf having some very public drama in the wolf comic community, I eventually stopped working on my comic to do a big re-write. I wanted to FINALLY get out from under the "oh you're just copying these people" bullshit because I was like "I literally don't know who this is until you name dropped them". I stayed in my lane with Wolf Song and didn't branch out too much to other wolf comic artists since we were all getting harassed at this point. I didn't really know who to trust outside of the friends I had made in my early DA days.
By 17, I was applying for colleges and didn't have time to work on Wolf Song anymore. This was also around the time the other Wolf Song, the one on youtube, began taking off more and my comic was buried under the popularity. I figured "eh ok" and dropped the project while focusing on school.
I never felt like I really fit in with any one place/group. I had my own space and the fans of my comic which made me happy, so I avoided social media/fandom stuff for a few years. I was always on the fringes of the furry fandom, but due to coming across some really racist proboards forums about the furry fandom when I finally looked into it and saw "N*ggers can't be furry/therian/otherkin", I was like "ok fuck you too" and never wanted to participate in the fandom.
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hii, i’m not sure if ur recieving requests rn but i’m jst gna shoot my shot
could i request reader x xavier where shes not the dating type and ppl have tried and failed to try and ask her out, date her, etc. and then comes along xavier who’s determined to take her out on a date (respectfully)
and yeahh
Oh my god I´m so sorry this took forever to write! I just hated everything I brought onto the page. I hope you still enjoy dear <3
Not the dating type
pairing: Xavier Thorpe x fem!reader
synopsis: You had never given much thought to dating, but what happens when, by accident, you meet a certain artist. Will your stance on the matter change?
warnings: none
word count: 1.4k
You had never given much thought to dating. Not that you had anything against it, it was just that it felt a little too superficial whenever someone did ask you out. You were happy spending the time apart from your friends and schoolwork with yourself. Which right now you wished there was more of. 
“Why didn´t you go out with them? They´re like super cute...!”, your friend asked you for the nth time. 
“Do we have to discuss this again? Why would I go out with someone who I know isn´t even interested in the same things as I am in the slightest and that doesn´t know me at all? Plus, you know I like spending time on my own. I just want to have a good time and write every once in a while.”, you take a bite from your lunch. “Despite, don´t you think they are like the blandest person to ever exist? Like just really bland?” 
For the nth time your friend lets out a distressed sigh at your answer. Though even she can´t help herself to not chuckle at the emphasis on ´really bland´. “I take this as my sign to not even ask you about this year's dance?” 
“Not unless you want to hear last year's answer all over again. Isn´t it a bit too early to think about that anyway?”
She shrugs and the two of you finish the meal talking about an assignment before you have to head into different directions for afternoon classes.
That evening after lunch you go back outside into the quad. Most students are busy with god knows what and so it is not too crowded. The air is still warm and so you decide to lean onto the cool stone wall. Fully concentrated on the writing in front of you, you don´t notice the tall figure looming over you, trying to get to exactly that wall. At least you can feel a finger tapping your shoulder.
“Sorry, but you are kind of in my way.”, looking up you see into a pair of green eyes.
“Oh, I´m sorry. I didn´t even notice.”, you hold up the journal. “That looks really good by the way. Did you paint that?”
“Uh… yeah… Thank you.”
“Anyway I better go get back inside. I´m sorry again for sitting in your way.”, you smile at him while you dust yourself off and then walk back inside.
This would happen regularly afterwards. You´d always sit down in that same spot and when he eventually came over to continue painting you´d talk for a bit. Mostly about art at first. You asked Xavier about his paintings and how he found himself picking up drawing and painting and he would ask you about the stories you wrote in that journal he never saw you without. As time progressed you found the conversations had taken to more personal topics as well. You found yourselves greeting each other in passing and before you knew it you thought of the schools resident tortured artist, as your friend and the other students had dubbed him, as a friend.
“So what do you want to do today?”, you asked the artist curiously.
“Actually I wanted to show you something. Come on, it´s not far from here.”, he seemed a little more nervous than usually.
“Alright.”, you made it a point not to mention your observation but quite some time after wandering through the woods you couldn´t bite back a joking question. “You´re not trying to kidnap me, are you?”
“What? No, don´t worry. We should be there soon.”
Indeed it only took a couple more steps before you stood outside an old shed.
“I´m sorry where are we right now?”, you stay back a bit as he takes off the heavy chain to open the door.
“I found this shed a couple of years ago and Weems let me clean it out and use it as an art studio.”
Stepping in, you get hit by just walls and canvases filled with paintings.
“Wow, you must be here often.”, you can´t hide the amazement in your voice entirely.
“Pretty much every chance I get…”
You spend the afternoon in the Studio, talking like you do until you find what you assume is another canvas hidden behind a big piece of fabric. 
“Hey, Xavier, what’s underneath that?”, you point to it.  
“Oh, it’s not done yet.”, he brushes the question aside quickly. 
Once more you don’t push it. 
The next time you get to the shed it’s gone and the times after you don’t see it either, so you slowly forget about it.  
When you go there one evening to have some time truly to yourself and write, like you had done a lot lately, you catch Xavier with it. 
Too far into the music and his thoughts he doesn’t hear the door open or close. Neither does he hear you walk up behind him. Standing on your tiptoes to look over his shoulder you see it. A picture of you. Only then does he realise you are there. Trying to hide the canvas as fast as possible, he couldn´t do much for you to unsee it.
“Hey… I didn´t think you were coming here today.”, his face start turning redder by the second.
“Yeah, I just needed some time away from everyone else…”, God this was awkward.
“Oh, okay”, this ends the conversation for that moment. You go to sit at the small table to do your thing and Xavier does his. This time the silence between you isn´t as comforting or comfortable as it usually was and so you speak up again.
“Are we gonna talk about the painting or not? I know what you usually paint. Is there something I need to know?”, you can hear the second chair scraping before he speaks.
“No, nothing like that at least.”, he thinks about what to say next. “Well, I didn´t plan on doing it like this, but… I had this dream over and over again since I was young. Like really young. Of just that scene. Ever since we started talking it came back twice as often. And I know what you said about the other guys that asked you out, but… I wanted to ask you if, maybe some time, you would want to go on a date with me?”
This time it was on you to be silent. “You are really sweet, Xavier. I just… I don´t think I can say yes to that. Not only because of what you heard, but you basically just broke up with Bianca too. Enid would have this on her blog God knows how fast. You know what position that would put both of us in. I´m sorry, I better get back to school.”
Things got a bit weird for a while after this. You never stopped talking, but that afternoon never left the back of your head. Ultimately you pulled yourselves together though and when he asked you for a second time, on the day of the Poe cup, things went over all smoother. However it got you thinking things over.
When he asked you out only a short time later for a date to the Rave`N you surprised both of you with a yes.
“Wait, really? You´re not just saying yes because…?”, he asked.
“Yes, really Xavi.”, you chuckled. “In fact I think this is going to be a fun evening.”
“What made you change your mind?”
“After you asked me before the Poe cup I think I realized that I actually like being with you not only as a friend, unlike I had thought… It also felt different like when anyone else asked me.”
And you were right. Though you didn´t stay long at the dance itself and headed out to spend the evening away from all the loud music. You laughed a lot and by the end Xavier brought you back to your room. Not hearing any concerns about being caught by a teacher.
“Tonight was great, but you better go before you get caught.”, you still giggle. “Go.”
He still doesn´t move or say anything when you open the door to get into your room. Just as you opened the zipper if the dress, your phone gives off a high pitched ping. ´You were too fast. I wanted to ask if you want to get coffee tomorrow. As kind of a second date?´
Rolling your eyes, chuckling again you send back a ´Sure. That sounds great 😊´
You think you can hear the buzzing of a phone and a whispered celebration outside, but blame it on the setting in tiredness.
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Happy 2000-- er... 2400 followers! I suppose this is what I get for overestimating how long it would take me to do two full bodies and 14 busts which I wound up cropping anyway lol.
Bonus commentary under the cut!
Link to the version with no commentary (x)
So first off, this was a considerable challenge for me since I don't normally draw in an anime style, and I think that shows. There were a lot of wonky proportions that I ended up having to go back and sort of fix in post. Irida, Rei, and Akari were especially bad-- my own sister told me that Rei looked like "a cross between a Victorian orphan and a frog". I decided to redraw all three of them, but since I drew them on a smaller canvas, I think it messed with the resolution a little when I shrank them down. I'm not sure anyone would notice if they weren't looking for it, but I've been staring at this for so long that I can't unsee it.
Next was the brilliant decision to put Emmet, Elesa, and Drayden on a light background. They initially faded right in, so I went back over some of the outlines to make them more readable; I had also tried putting the whole Unova set on a darker background, but found that it drew too much attention and unbalanced the piece.
On to the good things!
I adore how Melli and Zisu turned out. I don't know what it was, but my art game was on point that day.
I also had a lot of fun trying out different motifs. I knew from the outset that I wanted to play around with the duality of black/white, the duality of past/future, and the idea of making the whole disk resemble a PokéBall. The center design had me stumped for a while; I had initially used screenshots of the Highlands and Gear Station as placeholders during my planning stage, but around halfway through I decided that would be too busy and changed it to a simple railway track design instead. Then I decided I didn't like that either, and at the last minute I went back to a simplified version of my original concept. I think the stylized Coronet mountain range and subway train work nicely.
Other trivia:
During my planning phase, I used everyone's official art as placeholders-- except for Zisu, who for some reason I couldn't find any for. I used a screenshot for her placeholder, and referenced her TCG card for the final drawing.
Emmet being the only character drawn from a head on angle was deliberate. I wanted to subtly highlight his importance while still being able to place a key Pokémon in the center of both groups.
I drew all of my initial sketches on paper, lined and colored in Clip Studio, and compiled/edited everything in GIMP. I am a chaos gremlin and I will not apologize.
The reason I settled on a Station of Awakening as a follower celebration is threefold: The first is that I was hanging out with some good friends, and we wound up playing Melody of Memory. I forget exactly how it came up, but it was definitely a joke at the time as I do recall saying that it would take me forever... which it did, lol. The second reason is that I later realized that my first post on the blog (after the original "Ingo shouldn't be in old timey Hisui" (x) post) was Kingdom Hearts themed (x). The circle of stupidity is complete! And finally, I'm old enough to remember when making one of these for your blorbo was The Big Fandom Thing ™ that everyone did, and I wanted to indulge in a bit of nostalgia.
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neargaztambide · 1 month
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So, I developed an interest in drawing stuff, and combined with my interest with the Batman rogues, I chose to design and make lore about some of the characters. And here is the first draw I made, of Jonathan Crane!
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I enjoyed drawing him, as I took a lot of inspiration from the BTAS design. And don't worry about the weird signs at the side, you'll soon find out what they mean. ;)
And as I mentioned, I made lore, a backstory for my version of Jonathan. So this is the thing I did (directly taken from the document I made). Warn you, it is a long read.
The legacy of the Crane family left a mark amongst the townsfolk of Whitevines, a farming village in the middle of Georgia. This village, at first a normal place to live, with a united community of around two hundred habitants, was keeping a secret, as dark as a starless sky and pungent as the taste of rot: people were cultists to the profane off-springs of Mingauru, the lunar god, which led them to make rituals of an unspeakable moral depravity. And of course, these abhorrent acts were headed by the Cranes for years: the rituals granted the Cranes wealth and health, at the cost of performing unredeemable acts.
Is in this background that Jonathan Crane was raised. As a child, he already felt in his bones the dreadfulness that hid in the shadows of Whitevines, even if it was a well kept secret by his family. In addition to this, Jonathan’s dreams were overrun with horrible images, which made him fearful of the world he lived in. This was caused for generations who ran rituals for capricious deities that should have remained forgotten: it was a punishment to a person who had not tainted his soul yet. Even if he felt uncomfortable to do so, Jonathan learned a fair quantity of arcane arts, thanks to his father, Wilbur Crane.
When he was fourteen, Jonathan’s family fell slowly into disgrace, which was the warning that Wilbur needed to see that Whitevines was about to follow that same path. In a desperate attempt to avoid it, Wilbur made his own child go through rituals which marked his body and mind. Jonathan developed mixed feelings with the concept of fear and the gods his town prayed: he was distrustful, and learned to be afraid of everything, and also understood that they were motors that made people go forward in their lives. And yet, as a clock engine, fear could be broken and not needed to be used anymore. For Jonathan, fear could go to such extreme lengths, to the point of making a person fearless and detached from that sentiment forever, making the person evolve and live without fear driving its life.
As an attempt to escape from his environment and seek a form of liberation, he won a scholarship to study psychology in the city of Gotham, New Jersey: only the science of the human mind could liberate him from the horrible things he had witnessed. Jonathan was the best student of his generation, receiving great academic condecorations and a promising life in the fields of both psychology and chemistry —a passion he found while studying—: he was recovering peace as his nightmares were subsiding. His good luck streak ended when he took a charged pistol to one of his lectures to teach his students about how fear motivates humankind. This led to a fatal outcome that guaranteed Jonathan’s immediate dismissal of the academic field. And that started the return of the nightmares, Jonathan’s old friends.
Desperate, Jonathan wanted to get rid of the nightmares and the constant feeling of dread that tormented his entire life. He gathered all his knowledge in the old arts of occultism, psychology and chemistry to develop a “cure” for his nightmares and omniphobia, without caring about who he had to step on to do so.
This is how Jonathan Crane created his alter ego, the Scarecrow, and ran a rampage of crime in Gotham City, with the hopes of freeing himself (and perhaps humanity) from the lethal embrace of fear.
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pansear-doodles · 11 months
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Heard about a comic where Hunter tells her kid what to do when they have a seizure. It sounds cool, currently trying to find it.
Theres another ask in my inbox after this stating that youve found it. Always use my tags in my blog :) (though i havent had the comic uploaded in the other sites yet)
If you want to, i can longingly ramble about my thought process on making that comic. I know its short, simple, sweet and lighthearted, but for many things ive created for rain world, there is a meaning and story (as everything ive built around the fandom has always been self indulgence and vent art)
When i made that comic, i was sleepy as hell, promised myself to go to bed so i can work on my mass attack (surprise, i still havent done that today due to all-day school, tiredness and a 6 hour video slandering toy story 4 distracting me LOL), but ive randomly thought of the comic after making some cute sleepy doodles (that of which i wont reveal because many of these doodles are for self indulgent purposes(i promise you its all sfw for those skeptical because i just dont not want to flood my blog with similar drawings of hunter and artihunter kisses lol- im doing that all for myself at least!))
A simple doodle of hunter being a parent laying on the couch (because i was sleepy and wanted to project that comforting cushiony feeling onto this to encourage myself to sleep) but then it suddenly sparked to me that ive always wanted to explore a bit more on hunter's role as a parent now that its been long established that they are arti's spouse and chose this lifestyle.
To talk about a bit of my own personal experiences, I'm familiar with living around relatives who require medical attention and support, so I kind of wanted to put that feeling to arti's kids facing the reality that their new parent has some things that pushes them back at times health-wise. My dad is diabetic (and old- hes like in his midish 60s while im 21) and hes been having his struggles. He could not do some basic things like putting his socks on and putting on his shoes without the help from someone and generally has difficulty crouching and standing up. He has to take his meds often. It is hard to see him grow depressed and grumpier over the years, but being apart from him for college makes him realize that he misses and loves me.
My grandmother is old and i think she has alzheimers (my mom is not clear on this to me since i dont generally talk about these types of serious concerning subjects to her about her own mother). Sometimes she falls without almost no warning and has to be around someone to care for her in case that happens, and yet I recognize that despite these things, she is quite sassy and pretty insistent on doing some things herself (despite my mother recognizing the risks and yelling to her about them out of care).
My own mother, while our relationship is not perfect and while i recognize that most of her parenting stuff to me have negatively affected me for the long run, i understand that she is not a flawless human being and most of what she does to me and to my dad and grandma and to anyone shes close with- she does that out of care. She nags at my dad for shutting down business opportunities because of his anger issues. Nags to my grandma who does ignorant actions. Nags to me for- well- i have to admit that I can be lazy. But i can understand all the stress that shes going through- that she has to actively take care of so many people in her life (and i have not even mentioned my brother, who is a whole can of worms that of which im not going to detail, is included) and i sort of wanted to project some part of that stressful experience onto arti and her dynamic with the other characters.
There is some form of resolution to my mother's case though- is that she has a lot of friends who help and support her. Who light her life even when shes busy all the time and goes scampering back and forth. It eases one to know that my arti does have friends, and gourmand has been most supportive of him aside from his own wifeusband. (Which leads to that panel where gourmand is shown also helping hunter and that hunter themselves encourage their child to also ask help from others and not just from their other parent(though i am probably reading a bit too much on this projection since its also just common sense to ask any grown up for help in general haha))
But back on hunter themselves and the relations they have built on their children- you guys know I love Bluey, but not only does the show introduce to me so many lighthearted concepts and coping mechanisms, but it also portrays the relations between parent and child in a way that i find quite realistic and mature. And these kinds of portrayals teach me how to write this dynamic. Hunter is like a Bandit, but I would like to work around the fact that this is Hunter's first time as a full-on parent on a committed relationship, while also having to deal with their terminal illness.
I do not think Hunter would be *the* perfect parent, but I think they would actively try to be a good one at least, and they would understand that their kids are smart and can learn how to fend for themselves from passing on what they know (ESPECIALLY considering the setting... This is still Rain World after all despite its more forgiving nature). Its something i would have wanted as a kid growing up actually- my parents actively teaching me to prepare my future circumstances instead of leaving me to figure out most things on my own or parade me with rewards and decadence expecting good outputs from me to pay it off.
But if there is one thing that they have taught me as a child that suggested that hint that I am smart if they give me the knowledge and reasoning of: are those days when they have to work, leaving only me and my brother at the house alone. They would tell me to never open the door to strangers and I would follow that no matter what.
I think, at some point, hunter and arti would teach their kids something like that. Its a slope see. Theres this short comic ive read long ago i dont remember the name of but whose plot i remember vividly: parents in a level of a video game teaching their child how to jump progressively higher and farther until the child is able to jump high and far enough to reach the other side of a giant pit thats situated so closely to their home. Thats the type of thing id like to portray. Small steps to progressively larger ones. Being taught growing up.
Many of these thoughts seem random, and theres still so much to go on i could talk about, but it all boils down to my tism and connecting some of my personal experiences onto these characters, and experiences i wish I had growing up. I do not have disabilities (or at least i think so), but i have experiences around people with disabilities and I can understand how witnessing these kinds of events involving them can be a harrowing and worrisome experience, especially when its from someone you care about.
In all honesty, i was delighted to know that there exists a disability pride month when I logged onto tumblr one day and saw my first post talking about it. Yes! I did not know it existed before. And now i have and i am glad. Theres been lots of people educating me, outside of the fandom and over the years. I dont remember what and how i was before. My back memory trauma with someone in the past has fucked me over, but its better late than never yunno
Sorry for the long ramble and sorry for being quite dramatic. I hope my words are of some interest and in good faith to you.
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arwenkenobi48 · 2 months
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I’ve decided to make my own rewrite of alternate Gabriel and put him in a new original story, in light of recent events
[Warning: long post]
Basically, Gabe (as he is now called) is the subject of a painting created by an artist who unknowingly has the power to bring his artwork to life. Gabe loved it when his creator called him the most beautiful thing he’d seen and when the artist moved on to other projects, the painted angel basically went mad with jealousy.
Breaking free from his canvas, Gabe began corrupting the artist’s other paintings, turning them into twisted, monstrous images. When the horrified artist saw what was happening, he decried Gabe as a monster. Heartbroken and furious that his creator rejected him, Gabe killed the man and used his blood to create a new painting; a portrait identical to his dead creator, one that would be eternally loyal to him.
Gabe’s second in command, simply known as Edward (an expy of Six/the Intruder), still retains the skills of an artist and the mysterious powers he possessed before his murder. He creates more disturbing minions for his master, all while passing them off as ‘horror art’.
The vast majority of these art pieces fall into the hands of an eccentric rich man named Zekiel Thomson, who adds them to his vast collection. This guy’s so rich he has his own private art gallery that he shows off to all his wealthy socialite friends. After installing the ‘horror art’, however, things begin to take a turn for the worse.
First, mysterious music is heard in the night; the sickly sweet sound of a harp and the operatic voice of an angel. The last person to awaken to its sound is found dead the next day, mutilated and - most disturbingly - with a significant amount of blood missing.
As more and more of these mysterious murders unfold, Zekiel is plagued by nightmares in which Gabe’s demonic underlings are tormenting him. He resorts to hiring a detective named Vincent Truman, who’s something of a theology/occult enthusiast.
The main framing sequence of the story is told through Vincent’s notes on the case, as he goes from being sceptical of Zekiel’s credibility to finding himself in a tangled web of mass murder and blood magic, to standing face to face with the devil himself, The Painted Angel, Gabe.
I haven’t yet decided on a title for this story, but I quite like the sound of The Painted Angel. The Peculiar Case of Zekiel Thomson is another potential title, although it is a little wordy.
Also I decided to set the whole thing in England bc that’s a pretty good place for haunted paintings and unexplained phenomena. Adds a gothic feel to the whole thing too.
Kinda toying with the idea of frequently switching between different POVs between chapters but I don’t want it to get confusing. I guess that once I have the entire story mapped out it should be fine.
There’s going to be recurring themes of facing one’s inner demons, unprocessed trauma and self worth. Elements of the horror game Layers of Fear, an old Victorian story titled The New Mother, Skinamarink and Motion Picture Soundtrack by Radiohead are also going to be worked into the project.
I haven’t yet decided if this is going to be a straight up novel or a comic yet. My ability to draw is…inconsistent at best. I feel like the story might work better with some accompanying visuals, though.
But yeah that’s my thoughts so far. I have had bits and pieces of this project in my drafts for a while but I had no idea what to do with it. I think this could probably tie it all together.
Now I need to get some sleep bc I am exhausted. Lmk what you think of this idea and feel free to suggest any potential titles.
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reallyhardydraws · 11 months
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hi !!!! i have been a huge fan of ur art for a long time, esp since i found it via x-men fanart, and it's what introduced me to evo which is now like one of my fave shows ever. i've always LOVED all your kurt/wanda stuff, but since i only rlly have access to the movies & tv shows, and wanda isn't even in the xmcu (💔), i've always wondered if they're involved in the comics or if it's just something you'd wanna see? obvs your earth-number-i-forgot au is yours, but the other stuff? i guess if ur willing i just wanna know what makes you like them so much, since everything you draw for them is so cute, and i don't get to see any of the source material!!
hi!
a lot of my interest in kurtwanda came from my old days of writing as kurt in the xmcu RP fandom here on tumblr :') i had some of my best times writing with my friend who wrote as wanda, we had loads of headcanons and just yeah haha. i think there's something about their visual contrast that's fun obvs the red and blue and then their similar sort of romani upbringings give them common ground, they're both sort of goth too lol.
but there IS also the cartoon wolverine & the x-men. they go on a date and wanda gives him a kiss, and i think this is all sort of a nod to the fact that kurt & wanda are married in the universe that gave us TJ wagner/nocturne
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and so yes they ARE in involved in the comics, but it's all entirely offscreen RIP!!! earth-2182 is their home universe - we only learn a little about their relationship via TJ, but she implies that her parents are a) married and b) very much in love:
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(click through to view these properly, please excuse the antiromani slur used in the 2nd screenshot) there is also like... one extra panel where we see old man kurt watching wanda saving people on TV and he's like 'atta girl that's my wife' but i can't find it and you're not missing much b/c for whatever reason they said 'this version of wanda is as hot as always but this kurt is decrepitly old, bald, rocking a white goatee, and has an eyepatch.' really a weird turn for our favourite elf.)
but yeah i would recommend the wolverine & the x-men scenes: they appear together in episode 10 - greetings from genosha and episode 15 - hunting grounds i think they may appear in other episodes but it's been a while since i've watched the series, these are the only 2 where they are both main characters and their storylines interact.
anyway tysm for asking! i'm glad u enjoy my drawings of them and tbh i miss them!!! need some more free time to be drawing my faves they're honestly a ship for the ages!!!❤️💙❤️💙
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danphantom · 3 months
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oh hey i wanna talk abt smth thats been on my mind both lately and on and off for a while in general. sorry this ended up being a hella long post lol. but i have a lot to say
so...for context, ive been in the phandom for 10 years--since 2014--though it has admittedly been on and off in terms of engagement from me. in 2017 i got into dragon ball and all but dropped danny phantom completely with a few small drawings here and there. it was only like..within the past week that i actually got back into the phandom legitimately again, actively making art and posts about it and engaging with the source material and etc
anyway, i was obsessed with dp from 2014-late 2017 (until i got into dbz). i made lots and lots of fanart, played the gba games like all the damn time (i got to where i could speedrun tue lol), rewatched the show regularly...i was even one of those fans that bought obscure merch and learned useless trivia that ive since forgotten. in 2015 a lot of you may remember that i made @doppelgangercomic, a comic about an au i had where dan got a redemption arc (albeit a bumpy one) and future vlad was there and stuff happened (go read the comic LOL). it got a LOT of love and traction! it made me really happy to see all the positivity around my work like that :) i actually got a lot of positive responses towards my work in general. i had a really great time in the phandom back then
then i changed fandoms and kinda fell out of the phandom space. after being on a hiatus from the phandom until literally a week ago, i honestly have to say ive felt like i kind of...faded into obscurity in the phandom's eyes? basically i feel like old news. people dont generally know what doppelganger is now. they may have seen my art in passing here and there but they dont know who i am anymore. i think the only place people actively still find my old danny phantom art from when i was heavily active is...deviantart lol. i get notifications from favorites literally every day there. but uh anyway--im not saying this to garner pity or tell a sob story or anything! im just expressing some thoughts and feelings ive had for a long time lol.
the reason i bring this ^ up though, is because like...i know its not true? logically, i know that i DID make an impact in the fandom i loved/love so so much. i left my mark on both the fandom in an artistic sense, and also the people in the fandom, and sometimes i forget that because i get significantly less engagement on my posts than i used to. but i know that doesnt mean that people dont like my stuff anymore, or that ive been forgotten.
i actually got a message from someone today--a friend i made kinda recently who approached me bc they liked doppelganger actually. they told me that basically its surreal to them that theyre talking to me as a friend because they remember reading doppelganger when they were younger and looking up to me because of it. and it really reminded me of what i said previously--ive not been forgotten, and people still do appreciate and love what ive put out into the world (specifically about danny phantom in this case). ive made an impact on people's lives even when i dont realize it or see it physically. the message and sentiment made me feel really really good and nice and happy and honestly relieved, because the phandom and danny phantom as a media has been an extremely important and impactful part of my life ever since i got into it ten years ago. i literally changed my name to dan because of it lol. it was the reason i found stephen silver's work and went down that path of my art journey. its the reason i found so many amazing people and friends and artists and continue to do that even now. i owe a lot to danny phantom and the phandom as a whole, and i try to give back in the only ways i know how--mainly thru showing my passion through my art and posts.
anyway erm. yeah. all of this to say i wanted to thank yall--the phandom--for supporting me all this time, whether youve been with me from the beginning or if youre just joining me recently. youve been an absolute delight in my life and i know youll continue to be for a long time. :)
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