#freaking knew there was a reason he was my favorite so far

[avionvadion]

Watching Helluva Boss for that Hell lore and Moxxie is absolutely my favorite. (And Millie. I love her. Stolas is a lot different than I was expecting because I only knew his songs before this) And uh…

Moxxie: “You’ve had us tied up here for hours and you haven’t even had us confirm one thing- like what we are!”

Human Interrogator: “And what are you!?”

Moxxie: “I’m a Virgo!”

Me, absolutely losing it, enjoying the sass:

[ashipiko]

—NIKO CIMARRON

All information on Niko Cimarron ATM! Will most likely be updated ☆

—MORE UNDER CUT

BASIC INFORMATION:

Class: 2-A

Birthday: October 24

Height: 176cm

Dominant Hand: Right

From: Land of Pyroxene / Shaftlands

Club: Film Studies (visits on occasion, inactive member)

Favorite Subject: Magic Analysis

Best Subject: Animal Languages

Likes: Making a profit

Dislikes: Getting outsmarted

Favorite Food: Berries / Berry flavored things

Least Favorite Food: Anything too hot

Specialty: Balancing on the line of lie and truth

GALLERY:

VOICE CLAIM:

YUU’S INTERVIEW:

— Scarabia Dorms - Niko’s Room —

for easier reading, all yuu dialogue will be in italics and all niko dialogue will be in a normal black font instead of green.

There you are. Surprised you came to visit me, Carrots.

> You know what I’m here for, Niko.

> Why are you surprised?

No need to act like that. Interview, right? Or should I say an interrogation? If you wanted to hang out with me, you didn’t need to hide around the bush, you know…

It’s cute seeing you all dodgy, but still. ♡

> I think it matches your vibe.

> You’re one to talk.

Yeah, yeah. How many questions do we have planned for today? Don’t take too long, now. I’ve gotta start pumping out those treats for my profit.

…Oh. No need to worry about a pen and paper, I’ve got one for you.

> I didn’t expect for you to be so prepared.

> (…They’re cuter than expected.)

Something something about matching the vibes… They’re modeled after an old movie about cops and so, interrogating. Figured you’d like them. A carrot for Carrots. It’s cute.

It’s about time to start though, huh?

> Yeah.

> No more wasting time.

INTERVIEW: START!

1. Can we get some basic info about you from… you?

A second year Scarabia student who’s a fox beastman. I guess I’m what you’d call a charmer, thief of the heart, man of your dreams… I’ve heard it all. But the real name’s Niko. Niko Cimarron. My surname means “Wild”, so you could call me Mr. Wild if you like that too. Heh, actually, it’s a business thing, so I guess you’d only call me that if you bought my products… Say, Carrots, you feeling like you need a snack? I have some lefties if you’d like.

> No thanks.

> Why not?

They’re tasty, I prommie~.

2. Speaking of which, what are your “pawpsicles” made from? How do you make them?

Those little things? Why, I’ll let you know I put my blood, sweat, and tears in those treats. Makes me happy to see other people happy, like the faces on a thaumark. To make ‘em, it’s just some tasty berries from the school grounds that get mushed up to get juice, where they go into a mold and freeze up. It’s hard work! I’ve gotta walk so many steps around the school and all across campus… You’re lucky you never saw me in my first year. Took me a while to get used to the schedule… Though, I’m a well-organized man now, I’ll have you know. It’s good for the public image.

3. You’re from the Shaftlands, aren’t you? Do you have any connections to Vil, Cater, or Jack?

Connections? I have them with everyone, really… though I don’t think those three are really aware I came from the same place as them. To be fair, the Shaftlands is a pretty big area. People even go as far to call it a utopia.

If anything, I’ve talked to Diamond more at NRC than anywhere in the Shaftlands. Is that because I never even saw him once? Maybe. So I can’t say about back then, but I can enjoy a good conversation with him now. He’s a good customer and a good influencer. Back then, he got me a good chunk of costumers off of a Magicam post, so I’ve got to give it to him. Who knew people could just follow trendy things at the drop of a hat? Crazy, right?

Vil is a major celebrity, and Jack, I didn’t even know existed ‘till this year. I’ve got nothing to say about Mr. Hardhead, but I’ve had my fair share of talks with Vil. When we were kids, I got a wave from him once… It was great bragging rights. Heh, he kinda freaks me out now though. The reason why I don’t actually participate in club activities. He’s probably too high of a standard for a lowlife like me, so it’s not something that bothers me anyway.

4. You don’t seem to have a Unique Magic. Any reason why?

Ah. Magic? A little bit of a sour topic for me, Carrots, ow… I’m just a late bloomer, is all. I’ve got magic in me, but I never played around with it when I was younger, so I’m way more rusty than all of the other guys here. It doesn’t mean I don’t know the brain stuff, though. Just inexperienced.

If I’m being dead honest, it’s kind of a miracle how I got into NRC. I guess they wanted the fox vote, huh? Heh.

5. Not sure if I’ve seen you around a lot with one particular person. Is there a secret someone?

Secret someone? Getting jealous, are you? Haha, I would’ve never taken you to be the type!

> Not the focus of the question.

> That’s not…!

It’s your fault for wording it like that. You’ve got to watch your words, Carrots. Well, the business life is a cold one, isn’t it? Being around a bunch of highschool guys isn’t really the “ideal” grounds for making business partners either, so it is what it is. At least this way, I get all the profits, so I don’t mind. If you want, I can save a spot for you by my side. ♡

> Again, no thanks.

> Maybe after I get a break from all the things this school brings.

Keep me in mind~.

6. Our last question. You say a lot of random stuff. People get annoyed with it pretty often. How do you feel about that?

…? Oh, you picked up on it, huh? Heh, I mean… I guess I could come clean. I think it’s interesting you haven’t walked away from me yet, y’know. Usually people aren’t into this stuff.

> You are annoying, but…

> (Would it be mean to say something?)

I appreciate you, Carrots. A little too much than I’d like.

Usually people don’t really like the stereotypical foxiness I bring to the table. They run away because I’m either something they don’t wanna get mixed up with, or just something they don’t like. I think you’re a weirdo who’s looking for entertainment when you come into my room and talk to me like this.

…But I guess that just means that you like the way I talk to you, right? You can’t get enough? Is that what’s happening here? ♡

> For a second, I thought you were going to need some comfort, but I guess not.

> Really, it’s fine, Niko…

Don’t pretend like your cheeks aren’t a little red. I like the reactions I get out of you. ♡

Is that all you wanted? Yeah? Alright, we’re done here, then. Hand me the pen, would ya?

> It was nice being able to talk to you like this.

> (That was a quick turnaround.)

…Yeah. Hurry on up, shouldn’t you be studying up on actual things worth studying? Live up to that Smarty McSmart Pants title. Bye-bye now~.

INTERVIEW: END!

> (I feel like Niko’s more than meets the eye.)

> (I feel like Niko’s… hiding something.)

.

.

.

TRIVIA:

Niko is twisted off of Nick Wilde from Zootopia!

Niko is actually magicless. Not entirely, as he does have some running in his blood, so he didn’t lie, but it’s not enough where he can successfully conjure spells. Because of this, at NRC, he often has to get by with con-artist type excuses and acts. It works most of the time, as he has Crowley’s support. For now, he’s getting by with the excuse of being a late bloomer, but I’m sure suspicions are beginning to rise… Perhaps, if it were to be found out that he’s unable to conjure spells, he would be kicked out of NRC.

He made it to NRC after being dared to attempt to con his way in by his magicless best friend. His name is not noted, but he’s a very angry and violent French fennec fox. Niko is often bullied by him.

He can be considered a fan of Vil.

Niko enjoys the pop genre a lot, but is embarrassed to admit it.

Despite being a playboy, Niko is easily flustered at the thought of someone seriously making moves on him.

Niko can also count as a bit of a heartbreaker. For the romantics around the school, everyone knows Niko as that kid who’ll charm you for a week and leave you heartbroken when he inevitability rejects you. It’s not anything against anybody, really, but more so the fact that Niko can’t ever imagine dating someone before he tells them his secret. It feels unfair to him. But people take offense to it nonetheless, the heartbroken people usually cutting Niko off as soon as they figure out that there won’t be anything working between them.

Because of the way some people leave him as soon as they sense no romance, Niko finds the concept of love to be sort of flaky. It takes a while for him to develop a crush, despite his flighty, flirty attitude.

Due to being a class 2-A student, Niko often ends up selling his treats most often there. Kalim and Silver are his number one customers, as Kalim buys bundles of them to give to Scarabia members, and Silver buys them for Lilia to enjoy.

Niko attends the Playful Land event and ends up staying in contact with Fellow Honest afterwards. This relationship ends up contributing a lot to Niko’s development.

Even though he doesn’t want to, he feels obligated to play into the deceitful foxiness of himself, because that’s what people naturally expect of him. It stops them from getting curious about him, as it seems like they’ve already got him figured out.

He says things that are considered shallow, like flirting or bargaining because he wants to get a reaction out of people. Niko does small things like this for small reactions — enough of these small reactions will fulfill the same satisfaction of seeing someone he loves flustered or happy, he thinks. In truth, he knows it won’t amount to much. Niko tries to satisfy himself enough so that he won’t need the real thing.

Niko feels very guilty for deceiving everyone at NRC, especially the prefect. Even still, he doesn’t have the heart to tell them that he truly doesn’t belong here, taking up a spot possibly for somebody who deserves it much more.

Niko’s way of thinking suggests that if he acts distasteful enough, it will cause people to stray far away from him. He believes that he really is just a lowlife fox, but the truth of his actions is something he think people would hate him for most; living in a lie. Because of this, he acts like a playboy and an annoyance in attempts to get people to stay away, preventing them from finding out the even uglier truth of him.

Additionally, he’s afraid to have the truth leak out because he doesn’t want to leave NRC. Though he doesn’t have much, he doesn’t want to lose the little bit he does have, and the little bits he keeps on gaining.

Even still, Niko craves for someone who will take time to understand him. Which is why he’s so attached to the prefect.

More to be added!

^ the pawpsicle icons in this relationship chart represent whether if the character is an avid pawpsicle enjoyer (has the icon), has experienced it once but never had it again (once!), and if they have never had it.

[bokettochild]

I cannot BELIEVE no one told me we had an update!!!!!

Anyways, here's my favorite bits as always, because I need to SCREAM about this one!

The rupee acquisition!

I love how JoJo included that traditional *item acquired* pose that all the Links do, and gave it a reason in the comic (Wind insisting he hold it up is just so fun)

Sky's comment though, "don't spend it all in one place". Isn't that a line you get in Skord when you acquire rupees? The cute little easter eggs here are so fun!

I also really love how Legend is taking an instructional role here, both with Wars and the champion!

While also letting his veteran show

and I love that the rest recognize that! Wild calling Legend "an expert" and actually listening to what he has to say, even if he doesn't agree with it.

I also super like the panels of Twilight's interaction with Legend here

Very eldest and middle sibling discussing the youngest child, and I love it. It reminds us that, even for all the cuteness we got between them in the last arc, Twilight still sees Legend as too rough around the edges, enough that it borders on bullying when it comes to some of the rest, and he's trying to curb that. And Legend is LISTENING, because (as I've said a thousand times) Legend respects Twilight and values his opinion. Twilight is his big brother too now and Legend, while still being himself, genuinely seems to care about his opinion.

Twilight's just tense in general, although why, I think is mostly because of Time's sharp scolding in the last update. Even though he's snapping back at the younger ones, he's not very happy to be snapped at right now, and he's eager to get out from under Time's watchful eye.

Time and Warriors

Because while he feels e has grounds to correct Legend for telling Wild what to do, Warriors straight up subtly scolding his protege is different. And the difference is that Legend and Wild and Twi had camaraderie (see Dawn p.3), they're brothers, but Wars is approaching this as a commander, a captain, and Twi doesn't appreciate that. Warriors isn't their leader though, but he's taking that role anyways. (Old habits die hard, I'm sure)

I mean, we all knew Wars was going to confront Wild sooner or later, but I'm glad he was so calm about it. Twilight's ruffled feathers (fur) is more from Time being overbearing, I believe, so it aggravates any slight annoyance Warriors might present.

Even despite some of our suspicions earlier, I like this bit here. Wild was a soldier once, and the captain is very much the image of what he would have worked with before. JoJo mentioned wanting to play with that dynamic, with them bothering having military background, and I think this is that training (hundred years ago though it was) kicking in and making the champion defer to the man who outranks him (as far as they know). Granted, they all call Wars "Captain" but this felt pointed.

I do love Four acting as the word of wisdom here, advising Time, just like he does Twilight, as to the best way to handle a team. it's a reminder that he's done this before, and he knows how teamwork can be, but also that sometimes you need space and working together means working in different areas.

Anyways, here's a couple bonus things that make me happy!

Bunny stance!

(shh, I know he's making a point by stepping on Wild's toes, let me have this)

Wars being so freaking pretty! Dear Hylia help me! (Is it wrong I understand Cia a bit now?)

Wind being the youngest sibling who is Done With Your Chatter

A competent boy being competent (and not as experienced as Ledge, but pretty darn close (if you've played both their games you know))

Showing off items! (I can hear the little ✨da nana na✨)

And of course, I love Time being a tired, overprotective parent (he looks like my mom here, good grief!)

[lukolabrainrot]

Toronto and Ireland (Part 2)- Ireland Stops

The Ireland stops were absolutely magic and my favorite of the tour! They were the stops that confirmed to me that this relationship between L/N wasn't just work besties who had a lot of sexual chemistry. This was a relationship with a lot of depth and intimacy, and would (probably) be very serious. I am going to talk about the specific parts during Ireland that led me to this conclusion, because there were just too many things that happened in Dublin/Galway to go over everything (but feel free to send me an Ask if you want me to talk about something in particular during Ireland that I don't cover here). I'm going to say a few of my general thoughts/comments about the Ireland stops first:

I believe that L/N went directly to Ireland from Toronto (please correct me if I am wrong?), and that energy from Toronto spilled over and peaked in Ireland, which resulted in heightened emotions in Ireland. I think their emotions were also heightened because the tour was coming to an end, and it was like a homecoming for N.

I think PART of the reason we saw the type of behavior and body language from L in Ireland is because L knew how meaningful these particular stops were for N, and he was just kind of in awe/inspired/mesmerized by how people were responding to them (but particularly to her).

L/N basically interacted the whole time like they were a FREAKING COUPLE 😅 Like it was BLATANTLY OBVIOUS from their nonverbal cues and how they were talking (imo). I don't think they ACTUALLY were , but it was just VERY interesting considering the energy from Toronto (if that makes sense)🤔

Alright, I am now going to analyze particular parts from the Ireland stops (going to go chronologically):

The Freaking Head Rub (Dublin):

Posting 2 TTs because this was by far the most WTF moment for me on the tour (I have like 6 edits of this clip saved on TT 😂) So let's dive into this gem:

I'm going to start by saying this. THIS 👏 WAS 👏 THE 👏 MOST 👏 OBVIOUS 👏 SLIPUP 👏 ON 👏 THE 👏 TOUR 👏 They got caught. Period. It was obvious this type of intimate behavior is normal for them.

Now the act itself could be written off as just a kind gesture. But below is why it blew up:

1) It was CRAZY intimate. L leaned in (like she does this all the time), he closed his eyes, she gingerly rubbed his forehead (I still don't exactly know what she was getting out of his face--hair, lent, she just wanted to touch her man him, idk? 🙃), the man made a little MOANNN/PURRRR in the middle of the head rub, and then N gently carressed his cheek to signal that he looked good now (again, like she DOES THIS ALL THE TIME). 2) Then the interviewer made an impromptu "Oh" right after he made the soft moan because she was taken aback and was like WTF IS HAPPENING. She tried to correct and make a little joke about the carriage scene (which coincidentally is what they were talking about in that moment) to try and ease the awkwardness of the situation, but the interviewer was totally unprepared for that little moment. 3) L made a little side-eye look at the interviewer after she went "Oh" because he realized he got lost in the moment and how intimate it was, and was like OH S**T. 4) N BLUSHES and shyly laughs (our PR queen who is VERY aware that the public analyzes everything she does) 5) L/N try to laugh it off and say that N does things like THIS to people all the time (but you could tell they were both embarrassed/flustered, especially L, BECAUSE THEY GOT CAUGHT/SLIPPED UP) 6) And they did all of that RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of one of the interview questions 🙄

L/N tried to come up with a lame-o excuse when they were asked about it during the London premiere, but you could tell that they really had no good explanation, because it just kind of happened and they got caught on camera. The intimacy of this moment goes wayyy beyond work besties, and I think they knew that, and there was obviously no way they were going to go there with that interviewer on the London red carpet (but they also couldn't deny it happened because it's on camera, so L got a little defensive and N came up with that silly response about getting lent off people, which wasn't even what was happening in that moment 🙄🙄).

I have NEVER seen anything quite like this before in the middle of a daytime interview of this nature, and the moment still makes me go WHATTTT JUST HAPPENED. It is THE moment that I decided 100% that L/N's relationship wasn't just friendship. That moment served as a very tiny, candid glimpse of how they are in private, and that's how I knew. Simple as that. "Work besties"... sure Jan 😂

Why they let that level of intimacy slip on camera, we will never know. I feel strongly that it probably had a lot to do with N's guard being wayyy down due to the heightened feelings I previously mentioned, and just that they were HAPPY. I definitely don't think they wanted that on camera though, but I think it speaks VOLUMES N did this publicly. N does have a tendency to be very touchy with people, and she had picked/wiped things off of L before on the tour. But NOTHING like this though. N was sending a message (just my opinion though).

Dublin Red Carpet Event/Screening

Side note before I get to my thoughts. This was my FAVORITE outfit of theirs on the tour🔥❤️ They reminded me of a couple in a Tim Burton movie (ex: Johnny Depp and Winona Rider in Edward Scissorhands). It was just sublime *chef's kiss*

I just loved this red carpet event!! EVERYTHING about it:

The way all the fans were looking so lovingly at how LUKE and NICOLA were interacting with each other

The way L was constantly looking for N when they weren't together (and every time he looked at her (particularly when she wasn't aware) he was just GLOWING AT HER 😍)

The way they checked each other out when they finally came together 🔥

How L kept checking in with N and was so in tune with her because he knew how emotionally overwhelming and meaningful this was for her

How he decided to wear only Irish designers for the Irish stops to honor her (that might not have actually been his choice, but it was really sweet he mentioned it regardless)

How happy he was that this outfit was N's favorite of his on the tour. L cares sooo much about what she thinks about him, no one can tell me otherwise 😍😭

The way you could tell L got upset when that interviewer during the Dublin screening said that comment about N being so "brave" (in relation to her body), and how in awe he was with N's effing amazing response

This red carpet event/screening reaffirmed to me just how much L admires/loves/adores/respects N. Like there is real emotional depth behind his eyes when he looks at her, like she is the moon, the sun, and the stars. Like he just looks and interacts with her like she's his person, his 🦞️ (for the Friends' fans in the group lol). Obviously, some of what we saw during this red carpet event was probably due to the heightened emotions of everything that I mentioned at the beginning of this post. However, L/N were so in tune with each other and just glowing during this event (it was palpable), and it made my heart so happy 😍

Galway/L Meeting N's Family

Galway was just something else. Let's talk first a little bit about some things leading up to Galway:

N and L brought up multiple times in Dublin about how excited they were for L to meet her family (particularly her mom who N is really close to). And this excitement seemed VERY genuine based on their body language and how they were talking about it.

N brought up a few times about how excited her mom was to meet L (I talk a little about that/her mom's thoughts on L in my post here).

I think it was just very telling by how they were talking about this introduction that it was a BIG deal for both of them (and everyone involved). Whyyyy... well because (I believe) they are going to be seeing a LOT more of Luke Newton in the future 😉

So this is how I came to this conclusion. First, these are the main things that really stood out to me from the introduction that signaled to me this was not just someone introducing her work bestie to her family:

Their nonverbal cues on the screening stage signaled to me that there were BIG feelings between L/N about her family being there (I couldn't tell you what feelings exactly, but I would guess it was a mixture of nervousness, excitement, happiness, etc.)

The WAY L was sooooo in tune with her during this screening presentation because he knew how overwhelming this all was for her. And he appeared hyper-aware that her family was there, and it appeared to me from his body language and behavior that he was very self-conscious and trying to make the BEST first impression on her family

The WAY N asked L to come meet her mom. I have like a lot to say about this little moment because I think it speaks VOLUMES. 1) L is kind of distracted talking to some fans, but N is laser focused on her family and not really paying any attention to the fans (I'm sure she was very eager to go greet her mom, but she stayed glued to him (it read as VERY connected body language wise) and she was obviously not going to go until he went with her) 2) She then gently puts her hand on his arm and asked him to come meet her mom 3) He redirected his attention to her and happily said yes 4) He turned back to the fans to say goodbye, and N was already very gently guiding him away towards her mom 5) He and her were a unit in this moment, this introduction was going to happen as a unit 6) This whole interaction just SCREAMED of two people who have an intimate relationship and are very comfortable with each other (again, the nonverbal cues 👀)

She gives her mom a very heartfelt and teary hello, and then her mom holds her arms out like "Luke come here." and N is like oh yeah "Big moment big moment" and L (who has repeatedly said he's not a big fan of hugs) comes over and gives her mom a BIG hug and is just BEAMING. And the whole crowd goes wild lol -> He also tells her mom "Thank you for being so kind (OR making her (N) so kind 😭). I'll see you after. We'll spend some time"'

There is too much to list in regards to the body language of everyone involved in this moment, but it speaks VOLUMES that this was a highly anticipated introduction and a major moment for everyone. I would recommend, if you haven't, going back and looking over how N's brother and SIL react to this introduction, it is PARTICULARLY telling.

And the cherry on top is that when her mom turns away to go back to her seat after the hug, she does this little approving nod to whoever she was sitting by like "Yup, he's a good one. I like him for her." 😭😭

Final thoughts on this introduction/Ireland in general/miscellaneous:

That family introduction was absolutely WILD...Now even if her family had decided not to go to the Galway screening, I am almost certain L would have stayed around that weekend and hung out with her family regardless. Why... Because (like I have mentioned a few times on this blog) I think they know what they have, and I think they legit see a future with each other if they can figure things out. And I think they discussed a lot of this during the tour, which is why we saw what we saw with the introduction. I am almost certain they would not have had the emotions they did to this family introduction if they weren’t serious about being in each other’s lives for the foreseeable future.

Also, this family introduction was personal (for them, not for us–AKA not PR). I think we just got lucky that we got to be a small part of this wholesome/genuine moment because N’s family made the decision to go to the public Galway screening where a bunch of fans would be able to record them. That 100% wasn’t coordinated or calculated by N or the press people.

Now she might have been lying, but I personally believe N when she said in one of those London radio interviews about L/N staying in Galway during the weekend with her family to “recuperate” before the premiere. They both talked in London about how they spent time with her family after the screening, N's BIL tried to get L drunk, N (not so subtly) implying how her mom had VERY positive thoughts on L after meeting him, etc. Again, I think this speaks VOLUMES on where L/N were at emotionally at this point.

If we go on the understanding that N is jaded about romantic relationships and really private about this part of her life, having to navigate all these big new feelings for someone on a public stage was probably INCREDIBLY challenging (for both of them tbh). It was probably made even more complicated by the fact that they HAD to play up the romantic vibes to promote the show, which made people ship them like crazy (which was super easy to do because there are real feelings between them). And I think they didn't quite realize HOW obvious they had been about their feelings, but are in NO way going to go public with these feelings right now (if they are indeed working on their relationship). Why? Because it would destroy their relationship at this point in time. However, I think they gave us SOO many crumbs (Ireland being the most obvious imo) that there is real deep love and attraction for each other. For me, if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's a duck 😉

Here are my final thoughts to tie up my timeline theories on the PR tour. I personally believe the PR tour forced them to address big feelings for each other that they had been avoiding for a while. Their feelings were reciprocated. They physically acted on their feelings at various points of the tour. They had a lot of conversations in private and determined their strong feelings and attraction went past the show and their characters, and determined they wanted to move forward and figure out what their romantic feelings for each other meant. They emotionally became a lot more connected BTS, and I think they were starting to have more conversations about a POTENTIAL serious future with each other. This led to more obvious nonverbal cues that signaled there was more confidence, intimacy, and security between them, and then it culminated in the absolute goldmine that was Ireland. However, the whole situation is quite complicated because of the whole A of it all. I completely acknowledge that she is still in his life, and they are still involved in some sort of capacity. I talked about my thoughts on that though here. Therefore, I feel like they just need time in private to cook and figure everything out away from the spotlight. L/N gave us soooo many clues though on how they were feeling about each other BTS while they were on the PR tour, and if you put them all together, it tells quite the story imo 😉

[behidethetrees]

HOLD MY HEART, ITS BEATING FOR YOU ANYWAY.

IN WHICH… You’re ethans dream girl!

Pairing: Ethan landry x Fem! Reader

Contents: non-gf! Ethan, Reader is bffs with Tara and Anika <3, Chad is definitely Ethan’s biggest hypeman, This is set in the 2000s!!

THIS IS A REUPLOAD!!! my blog got deleted so I have to re-upload all my fics :( but nonetheless enjoy!!

HIGH SCHOOL JUNIOR YEAR 2005 ;

Ethan has had his eye on you for a while.

Since junior year of high school when you asked him for the algebra notes, he's been completely infatuated with you. He had daydreamed about you and everything he would do for you once you became his.

He was so sure you two would tie the knot soon that he started to plan your future together. He dreamed about having a big house with two cats, a good-paying job so he can spoil you, maybe even kids. But he couldn't have any of that if he hadn't talked to you yet.

he decided to take matters into his own hands, He was going to talk to you. He thought of all the different ways he would approach you But every time he tried, Once he got close enough to you, he would always back down because of how nervous you made him.

Ethan felt as if you were getting farther from him Until one day when you asked for the notes again…

"I- uhm, can tutor you if you want." Ethan blurts out

"tutor me? You think I'm stupid?" you said in that sickly sweet voice of yours which, at that moment, didn't feel all too sweet.

"NO!, oh God uhm-no that's not what I meant. I'm so sorry I didn't mean it like that, It's just uh we have a test soon so I didn't know if-" Ethan started to ramble. He had fantasized about you for too long to let you slip away. He wasn't going to let it happen.

"I'm just fucking with you, here's my number." you laugh as you tear a piece of paper from your notebook and grab Ethan's pen from his hand.

Ethan was sure he was seeing hearts around his vision. Ethan had made YOU laugh, Ethan's heart was pumping out of his chest. As you handed him the paper, smiled, and thanked him he had to force himself not to kiss you right then and there.

Every tutor session ended with you two just talking and getting to know each other. Ethan studied you. he memorized what you liked, didn't like, your favorite foods, the shows you liked, everything you told him he would remember.

As you two became closer, Ethan became more and more devoted to you. You two went shopping? He’d carry your bags. Out for food? He’d pay. Simply walking towards a door? He’d hold the door open for you. You had started to consider Ethan a best friend and that made Ethan's stomach hurt with excitement.

When you introduced Ethan to the group, of course, Chad took a quick liking in him, So much so they're now roommates at Blackmore. Ethan would be lying if he said he wasn't jealous of Chad at first. How close you guys were, how comfortable, How much trust you put in him, Everybody loved Chad and his personality, Chad had a higher chance of being with you than Him Ethan thought, and something about that made Ethan's jaw clench harder every time, But he would never admit this.

BLACKMORE UNIVERSITY, SOPHMORE YEAR 2008;

When you got that text from Ethan, Tara grabbed your pink flip phone and freaked out.

“Oh my god! y/n you HAVE to accept this!” Tara yelled as she grabbed your shoulders and shook you.

“Why this restaurant though? Why does he want to go that far out for food?” You said with too much obliviousness that it hurt everyone in the room.

“You have got to be kidding me.” Anika started “ He likes you! He's taking you to a fancy dinner to tell you, There's no other reason why he would want you to go that far out for a hamburger!”

“I don't think he does though, I think he likes that girl in our econ class” You said, The thought of that makes your heart hurt. You had liked ethan for awhile, He was so kind and attentive, If you asked him for help, He would be there in a heartbeat. He treated you with so much respect and gentleness you knew no one else could give you like he did.

“Jill? Are you kidding? You're so blind.” Tara says “Well he looks at her sometimes-” You start getting defensive.

“She sits in front of him Y/N. I promise you he doesn't like her, if he does he's an idiot!” Tara yells.

Anika agrees with a loud yeah!

“Whatever but I still don't think he likes me, we're just friends.” In your gut, you knew that was a lie but you kept telling yourself it wasn't.

“He has heart eyes every time he looks at you y/n. He's definitely in love with you.” Anika said, Tara laughs.

The whole afternoon Tara and Anika helped you get ready and pick out what to wear. You all decided on a y/f/c colored dress with some dark shoes. Tara straighten your hair and Anika did your nails and picked out your perfume.

“He's gonna be more in love with you than he already is!” Tara says, You laugh as Tara and Anika hug you.

Ethan was sitting in the booth of a fancy restaurant that was quite the drive from Blackmore. Chad had finally convinced Ethan to ask you out and when you agreed, Chad's plan was finally in motion. Ethan smelled like Chad's cologne and was dressed in expensive clothes Chad had brought him, a baby blue collared shirt with grey dress pants. Ethan's curls were somehow curlier and out of his face, he looked like a ‘million bucks’ according to Chad.

As you walk in you noticed a group of three sitting to the left of the entrance, All dressed in black, sunglasses, and their hair covering their faces, One of them looked like Anika, You almost laughed. What you didn't notice was Ethan's eyes going wide as he saw you walk in. How his blood started rushing and his heart was about to explode.

“Hey y/n!’ Ethan awkwardly gets up from his seat, He puts his hands on your waist to pull you into a hug.

“Hey Ethan.” you say as you lean into his touch, placing your arms around his neck. It was a short but an effective hug. You too, were now nervous.

As Ethan lets go, You exhale a breath you didn't know you were holding.

You sat across from Ethan and looked at the menu, but Ethan didn't. Ethan was looking at you. Admiring you. How focused you were, how your eyebrows moved up a bit if you saw something that looked good, how you played with your silver ring, taking it off and putting it back on your finger.

“ I think I want to try this, Ethan are you looking?” you ask as you move the menu to show Ethan, “ Are you okay?” You noticed Ethan was just staring down.

“I uhm, need to tell you something.” Ethan says softly. Was he really about to do this?

“Oh okay” Ethan saw you fidget with your ring again, He knew you were just as nervous as he was.

Ethan looked down at his hand to remember what to say- oh crap, Ethan's black ink was smudged from washing his hands. Ethan cursed himself in his head for being so dumb. Ethan breathed in deeply, trying not to panic. What was he supposed to say now?

Ethan picked up his head but avoided making eye contact with you, But you on the other hand were looking right into his hazel eyes that still somehow shined even in the dimed lights.

“I don't know if this is weird because we're friends and I don't want to make you uncomfortable,” Ethan starts, He knew this wasn't the best way to start but he didn't know what else to say. “If you don't feel the same that's okay, And if you don't want to be friends after this thats fine too-” Ethan is stalling.

“Ethan what are you saying?” You knew what was coming but you wanted to hear him say it.

“Its nothing bad! I just uhm, like you.” Ethan mumbles while scratching his face.

“What?” You heard him, You just wanted him to say it again.

“ I like you y/n, I've liked you for so long it's making me crazy.” Ethan's mouth begins to move faster than his brain. “ I've loved you ever since I've known you and- and I've tried to show you, The best days of my life revolve around you, it's always been you.” Ethan doesn't notice that you get up and start to walk to his side of the booth.

“ I’d do anything you want, I already do everything you want and I'm sorry if this is weird but your all I want-” You grab Ethan's hand from his lap as you sit next to him, Now he notices.

“Ethan how could i not like you? Youre like, the best person ive ever met.” You make sure he looks you in your eyes so he knows you really mean it.

“ You have so much kindness and patience and i admire that so much, You make me feel loved.” You say as you lean in to kiss him. Ethan was caught off guard but slowly he grabs your hips as you place your hand on the side of his arm. It was a long passionate kiss filled with years of yearning and love for each other.

As you began to pull away you see the same 3 weird people from the other table in front of you.

“Tara?!” It was Tara, Anika, and Chad dressed up, Anika Was recording.

“Is it official?” Tara asks with excitement. You and Ethan looked at each other before smiling and turning to the others and nodding.

Immediately Tara grabs you out of the booth and hugs you so tight you felt like you couldn't breathe, Anika also joining in. Chad and Ethan do their handshake they’ve practice for over a year, this time they perfected it.

“Dinner is on me!” Chad yells.

A/N; Thanks for reading I hope you enjoyed!

Requests

[ladykailitha]

Can Anybody See Me? Part 2

Holy shit, guys. I have never had such a response to a story before. Thank you guys so much.

Tag list of 50 has now been filled. Any other requests for tagging will be denied. I’m sorry.

Edit: Also if you saw the title as something else? No, no you didn’t. And any reblogs you see with anyone instead of anybody are a figment of your imagination. (*thuds head on laptop* I have the title right on here...in my file *wails*)

Part 1

*

The next morning Eddie got up for school excited for the first time. He had a mystery to solve and his name was Steven Harrington. Probably the third or whatever shit rich people got to with naming their kids. He rummaged through his closet looking for his favorite band tee. But he stopped when he found an old shoe box down at the bottom.

Eddie frowned and pulled it out. It was a bunch of pictures of Eddie when he first came to live with his uncle, Wayne. He looked at the shaved head and bruised face.

His dad had taken one look at Eddie that morning and decided his hair was too long. He had grabbed Eddie by the hair and dragged him into the bathroom and shaved his head. The bruises to the face were from Eddie trying to escape.

Eddie had suffered a concussion and it was then the state had taken notice. They had packed up his stuff while he was in the hospital in a big black garbage bag and told him he would be going home to his Uncle Wayne. In Indiana. So far from the life he knew. But it meant being safe from his dad and that was a plus in Eddie’s book.

It’s how he knew what Steve was going through. Maybe not exactly the same. But he knew concussions and knew they were a bad business.

He put the pictures back in the box and tucked it under his bed. Maybe he didn’t need to know why Steve was hurting. Maybe it was enough to understand. He pulled on his second favorite band tee and his jacket. He grabbed his bag and hurried out the door.

*

Eddie bit his lip. He didn’t have any classes with Steve today and wasn’t able to check up on him. He was tempted to break into the office and pull Steve’s schedule. But that would get him detention and he was still trying to keep his promise to his uncle.

How was he going to do this?

And then the answer literally dropped in his lap. A book was thrown at him by someone. He picked it up and looked at the cover. It was some old homework journal was about to throw it away when a piece of paper fluttered to the ground.

Frowning he picked it up. By some miracle it was Steve’s schedule. He looked up to see if he could see who threw it at him. But it could have been anyone. A lot of people were avoiding his eye, but that could be for any number of reasons. They bought from him and now they can’t look him in the eye because he knows. They want to buy weed and don’t know how to broach it. They think he’s a freak. They have a crush on him. You know, the possibilities were endless.

But at least he knew things he didn’t before. Like holy hell, the kid did a lot of sports. He looked at baseball and swimming and basketball with his mind whirling around in his head. How did he keep all the rules straight?

Math third period Eddie knew. History was Steve’s first period. Which was probably how his messed up brain managed to spew that information at Eddie yesterday. Baseball was seventh. Basketball his eighth. Swimming was second. English fourth. Art was sixth. Art, huh? That was intriguing. Probably thought it was an easy elective. And chemistry was fifth. So it looked something like this.

Odd 1-History 3- Math 5- Chemistry lunch 7- Baseball

Even 2-Swimming 4-English 6-Art lunch 8-Basketball

Huh. Eddie never noticed, but Steve was always in his lunch period. That was certainly interesting. He wondered what Mrs Hall, the guidance counselor would do about all his sports now that he couldn’t play anymore. He supposed swimming was still fine, nothing to hit you in that. But baseball and basketball were definitely out.

Eddie chewed on his lip. The sports weren’t going to get Eddie closer to finding out what happened to Steve. They would close ranks so fast. At least Steve and him had lunch together so that would at least make it easier befriend the guy.

Art, though. He tapped his lip thoughtfully. He had art in his fifth period. He could doing some snooping there. After all art is where true expression lies. And if there was anything going on it would show in his art.

The start of a plan was forming in the back of his mind. Yeah. This could work.

*

At lunch, Eddie slid in next to Steve as soon as he sat down.

“What’s on the menu today, Harrington?” he asked grinning.

Steve looked up at him in shock again. “Um...applesauce and plain toast, with a can of ginger ale.”

Eddie winced. “Still feeling the nausea?”

Steve nodded. “I’m starting to wonder if it’s ever going away.”

“It’ll stick around for about a week,” Eddie said softly.

Steve frowned. “How would you know that?”

“How don’t you know that?” Eddie fired back. “This is your second concussion.”

“Didn’t go to the doctor either time,” Steve mumbled.

“You want to run that past me again, Harrington?” Eddie asked.

“Doctors mean having to call my parents,” Steve explained, “calling my parents means that they’ll have to come back from their trip, coming back from their trip means I get into trouble, getting into trouble is not good for a concussion, so I don’t.”

“Why would you get into trouble for having a concussion?” Eddie asked, furrowing his brow.

Steve started counting it out on his fingers. “Getting into a fight. Hanging out with black people and by extension, siding with said black person. Having to drop out of sports. Watching my grades plummet. Not speaking to Tommy and Carol. I can keep going if you’d like...”

Eddie shook his head. “Holy shit, dude. I didn’t think I’d see a shittier dad then my own, but yours and your mom take the cake.”

Steve looked down at his applesauce mournfully. “It’s not that bad. At least my dad doesn’t hit me like Tommy’s dad does.”

Eddie’s eyebrows went up. “Are all rich dads douchebags?”

Steve shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Look, I’ve got to eat my own lunch,” Eddie said slapping the table and standing up, “but if you need anything come find me.”

Steve nodded, but Eddie didn’t think he would take him up on it.

Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17 Part 18  Part 19  Part 20 Part 21

Tag List: @shrimply-a-menace @strangersteddierthings @throwbackthrowaway @novelnovella @cursedfoxteeth @babyblender @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @swimmingbirdrunningrock @steve-the-hairrington @winterbuckwild @spectrum-spectre @matchingbatbites

[coffeegnomee]

The two sides of season 5.

The absolute vibe difference from looking at Minute’s lore by stitching together all the lore moments together VS taking out ALL the lore is sending me. 

And both are immaculate.

Like in the first, you would find Minute, Jumper, and Pentar in the cave, lost, silent, overwhelmed that they just lost the presidency and were betrayed by Leo and Clown.

Minute slides down the wall, buries his head in his hands. He was just a DM away, why didn’t they talk to him. They were so close to peace.

Burnt out, despondent. Weary from weeks of trying to save bases from PrinceZam, from weeks of resisting the urge to kill him. Emotionally drained from realizing there was a new threat on top of Zam; Mapicc and Ro were going to revert spawn to the way it was before they got there.

He had bet the presidency. And lost. Was betrayed by the whole server for some money.

What should he do now?

As they wait in that cave, the sounds of the server turning to hardcore echoes through the dripstone. Screams of frustration at the idiocy of Ro as Bacon is annihilated by an arrow cannon. Planet’s cry cut short as Zam’s sword stabs through his back.

They’re lost. Broken.

And then Zam’s sing-song voice comes to their ears. What are you going to do now, Minute? I just killed Planet, Minute? Do you care? Do you even care? 

What if I blew up the Vitalasy hole, Minute? Would you stop me?

The Vitalasy hole. Threatened over and over. Not this time. If Zam wanted to die, he could die.

The team exchanges a look, nodding. They equip their elytras and fly over. 

Zam is jumping up and down waving his hands. Insane grin spread wide. His arms thrown out in welcome as the team plummets from the sky like rocks, landing in full gear.

Zam says something stupid. Who cares what this cretin is saying. He’s the reason for everything bad that’s happened to them. “Let’s just cut to the chase”, Minute splashes the potions and in seconds the thorn in his side lies dead at his feet.

Mapicc and wemmbu destroy the Vitalasy hole. They would be next.

They plot the perfect ambush and in two swift strokes, both enemies are gone. The bloodlust keeps growing, it feels good, going back to his PMC roots. Just neutralize the threat in front of him. He never needed Clown to do the PMC’s good work.

Rumors fly that his enemies are possessing other server members’ bodies. It doesn’t matter. He could take them down again just as easily as before.

He takes a fight, and Clownpierce joins. He’s better than Clown. They have the gear advantage. 

But he slipped up. And all it takes is one slip up. He thought he knew what true bloodlust was. He thought he knew what cold, calculated indifference was. 

But Clown was far more relentless. Far more ruthless, targeting Minute and ignoring his teammates. 

Before he even knew what was happening, he was out of gear. On the run. Scrabbling over rock and river in a desperate attempt to flee. 

Maybe this is how Zam felt when he was dying. 

In one final attempt to swim away, he felt the cold steel of Clown’s sword pierce his armor and break it, plunging into his heart. It was all over. 

And then the other option is like:

(Every time I read this back I get the singsong “happy happy haPPY!” meme song stuck in my head. A silly goofy jingle. Or Zam doing the “I like purple, and I like green, but my favorite color, do you know my favorite color? My favorite color yellow!”. It makes me giggle so much. It’s so unserious.)

Minute is betrayed and it really freaking hurts. But time wins all wars, they would come up with the perfect attack eventually.

Completely unworried, they realize their names spell out Peanut Butter And Jelly! They’re the best part of a balanced breakfast!

They show up at spawn to see what the almighty and powerful wemmbu /neg has to say for himself. It’s a whole lot of nothing.

As they laugh together and leave for the carnival, Bacon just explodes, pops like a grape. It’s the funniest shit ever. They were going to win this war easy peasy. No worries.

They pose for a screenie to commemorate the new team name. Planet dies to Zam. Oh no! Anyway. 

Zam gets into call and it’s the perfect moment to mention that they’re the best part of a balanced breakfast! But this kid, man, he just wants to YAP. Yawn!

He starts threatening the Vitalasy hole or something. He’s done this so many times I literally could not care less. But he seems to be over there so I guess we’ll check it out. 

Laughing like drunken frat boys, high on their friendship, they fly over, and this ant is just standing at the top.

Let’s just wipe the grin off his face and screw this popsicle stand.

He drops. Really easily? Was that really his whole plan? If this is him winning, I hope he never stops winning. 

That was weird. Well. Anyways!

There’s this thing added where the dead can grant blessings and curses. That insane person, Zam, blesses Minute because of something called “made sense for my character”? Whatever that means. 

But man, Pentar got cursed twice and now he’s actually chubby. It’s like, kind of funny. But we have to fix him. 

Rek and Terry would die for them so Pentar can run. Quick fix. Everything is fair again. 

They move their base and prepare the Secret Plan™. The power of friendship was going to win this war. Together, they are an unstoppable force. Peace and justice would rule this land once and for all!

Jumper lures Mapicc over with some lie, Minute looks down the barrel of the arrow gun and giggles as he lines up the shot. It’s too easy. Jumper is safe on the camel and he pulls the trigger. Mappic pops like a grape, it’s a great sight to see. Enemy #2 is gone!

Maybe they could end this war today. Ash messages wemmbu, and wemmbu gets on. Omg the plan can happen today! They were going to win this war.

Wemmbu bans LifestealLord and it’s like, kind of concerning, but they have an ambush. With Ash’s signal they descend upon the president and kill him, it’s pitifully easy. Can you imagine his face when he saw his heart start dropping for the first time in weeks? Hilarious.

Are we the bad guys? No. no. 

Well, we may not loooook that peaceful right now, but you just gotta trust the process. 

Minute feels the first little doubt that they are as good as they think they are, he accepts the possibility. But like. They’re about to get the presidency back and unban everyone who was killed. The end result will fix everything. And everyone would be friends because who doesn’t love the power of friendship??

Ash, Jumper and Pentar EXPLODE in front of Minute. 

But that’s just not fair™. Kill us unceremoniously? We are not taking that.

They get brought back and there’s a slight issue. Their enemies start possessing bodies. But it’s nothing too important because they have a base to decorate!

And then their enemies stop playing fair. Why won’t they come to the AntiTrap Box™? Just come and sit down in front of us Oh My Gawd. We aren’t going to kill you, this is a friendly meeting because we are a little concerned that you might think you can win, but friendship is going to win. 

Fine. Observe from a distance.

We want a revive beacon of life. We can fight all week, and if any of you HAPPEN to last until Saturday we can do a big battle and then last team standing wins. Sound good?

What do you mean no? You want it to just play out? This is a human story? But I want to win. Somebody has to win.

The friendship gets strained as the tension grows. Their enemies still are a team of 4 despite the fact that they banned 3 people. They’re out numbered without Ash.

Over the next few days they get a little more paranoid. They know Clown has been logging on all day every day. They suspect a trap in their base, but they have to check it out together, so that none of them die. And preferably when nobody else is online so they’ll be safe.

But then they get goaded into a fight. But it was going to be fine. 15 stacks of xp each and secret netherite armor. They easily outmatched anyone who would come at them. 

At some point they had to fight, mighteswell be tonight. Mapicc is using harming arrows, the silly goober. 

Then Clown joins. And he’s also using harming. Maybe they missed something. 

Ro and Clown target Minute and Mapicc has a knock back sword that is really starting to get annoying. 

Things are not looking good. 

And the power of friendship is not strong enough in the face of an evil murderous clown. Minute dies, Pentar dies.

Jumper survives and rallies the And JellyS. One final stand to ban everyone. Because if nobody is alive, Lifesteal will be at peace. 

They fail. 

It’s sad. 

Oh Well! Let’s go back to the carnival!!! 

——

The second one also reads like a horror movie where it’s super happy but then every once in a while the screen goes blurry and the character starts breathing heavy when they realize maybe killing people should affect me, and then brightens up and the happy music starts playing again and it’s like the most unnerving shit ever. And then they all die brutally at the end.

But reading them back and remembering how both were actually happening at the same time is just so funny to me.

Maybe pb&j was a fun plot? nah. Unless? 

Also, I feel like it could be easy to read the second option as me being mean to pb&j and like /neg-ing their comments, but those out of pocket things makes this interpretation so much better, without it, it’s not nearly as absurd. And it genuinely brings me so much joy. Lifesteal used to not have any lore, and laughter at the other team and petulance at the things that go wrong for your team are time honored traditions. You can see Mapicc and Ro and Zam and Bacon and so many others doing it in earlier seasons. It comes out of them because it’s literally Minecraft and that always lends a certain level of absurdity at all times. Part of the charm. 

Also, I feel like if you missed Jumper’s pov of Minute’s and Pentar’s death you miss a lot of the character moments in either interpretation. She put it in her discord. 

[pomefioredove]

hiiii

could you make a list of ur ocs and their descriptions from ur noble bell college fic at some point i am itching to draw them already

JUMPING UP AND DOWN!!! I actually wrote something like this for the first two characters who have appeared so far but I didn't post it cause I was like "eh, not that important"

SO I'm just going to copy and paste it here

the other original characters (I have... three? rn) I'm still working on

Pierrot Gregoire

I'm sure a lot of people kind of went "who the hell is this supposed to be" since Pierre himself was not in the Disney adaptation

...which is kind of the reason I wanted to include him, since he's my favorite character from the novel and is almost never adapted accurately (stop making him cool and romantic and interesting!!)

the naming choice was rather easy. obviously, it sounds like his name. "Pierrot" is also a pantomime character, and I thought the connection to the theater was fitting. he is literally like a sad clown

appearance:

tall, taller than rollo (around 183 cm/6 feet)

thin

thinner face/long nose

round, green eyes

hair is more of a muted blond, cut just below his chin, obviously a little unkempt (curls and sticks out in odd places). he has bangs too

I don't know if I could describe his stupid little hat. but he has a stupid little black hat. it looks like the tall cousin of a beret

he looks kinda sad and tired all the time and his uniform is always a little worn down

nonetheless he is very smiley. to me. he loooves to chit chat. he talks to himself in the third person

sort of resembles rook (which could mean nothing at all!!!)

this artwork and this artwork of Pierre himself are close to what I envision

Gregoire more or less plays a role similar to ADeuce at NRC. I'm still trying to figure out how I want to write him, but he will be novel-like more than anything. so he's like... clumsy and socially unaware and loves to talk. his fatal flaw is cowardice, but otherwise he's... niceish. compared to everyone else, at least. I already know I'm going to write him nicely

Bou de Neige

a very long time ago I saw an oc of the h.rose. the horse. disney frollo's fuckass evil horse. and I cannot remember anything about the oc, but the very concept left such an impression on me that I could not help but make my own

for those of you who are blissfully unaware, Frollo's horse is named Snowball. Bou de Neige is a play on boule de neige, which is the direct translation of snowball. according to the internet, "Bou" also means ox in Catalan. close enough! and it sounds like "boo", referencing the scary nature of the horse. I'm not going to add a picture but those animators really knew how to make a scary horse

the design I have in my head is loosely based off this npc model:

except his hair is the same style but darker, he has sharper features (CRAZY winged eyeliner) and maroonish eyes? he's not even a horse beastman he's just some freak

at the time the fic takes place he's kind of an asshole, so he always looks a little pissed. he gets better before glomas dw :)

this freak is the vice president of the student council

picture also reminded me to say that these outfits are most certainly not every day wear. to me, they're equivalent to the ceremonial robes at nrc. the actual uniforms are less... intense. I can draw clothes so I'll deal with that later, these are good references for now

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s3 episode 8 thoughts

i’m conflicted. i didn’t like this episode, and i don’t know if my reasoning is valid or not. but i guess at the end of the day it’s all subjective, right? it’s MY BLOG and i decide which episodes are good vs bad in the juni-verse.

(do not be offended if this is your favorite episode and i am slandering it. it’s not personal, pinky promise, but i explain my reasoning at the end, so let’s jump in)

((also i hear geese right now. not relevant but highkey distracting))

oooo today’s episode title looks french… i thought at first that it would mean (feminine) someone who forgets something, but it actually means “a type of dungeon with a single escape route”. the more you know!

i’m excited to watch this episode. it sounds interesting. it also sounds like it could be really really dark. so let’s see! (verdict: DARK!)

we open on high school picture day. a girl named amy is getting her pictures taken. these girls are in very cute outfits. a guy from the photography company is staring at amy though… OH! and stroking her picture in a darkroom. HELLO??? jail jail jail. 

(we later learn his name is carl. he will be referred to as “the creepy man” and “carl” alternatively throughout this post)

he cut out her picture and put it next to a picture of himself??? is he making a collage? GROWN MAN! GROWN MAN DOING ALL THIS BTW!!! in what looks like a trapdoor darkroom beneath his house. is this the aforementioned oubliette….?

amy is sleeping and. SOMEONE IS COMING IN HER WINDOW. NO MA’AM. it’s carl, who says that “nobody is going to spoil us”. a little girl sees this happen!!!! noooo… but maybe she can give a clue?? i mean a witness to a kidnapping seems like it’ll help solve the case, right?

now we are at a burger place, someone is taking a while to fill up some drinks- her name tag says “lucy”. and then there is BLOOD all over her from her nose. the boss looks majorly freaked. and she FAINTS! mumbling that nobody is going to spoil us. OH… so lucy and the girl must have some sort of connection. boy, that seems it'd be disruptive to the work day…

bum bum bum bum!!!! spooky noises. spooky imagery. you know it, you love it: the intro.

mulder and a very large coat are here to investigate the kidnapping. he is looking about at various rooms and walls. 

noooo, he is in a child’s bedroom :( and he finds a very sad mrs. jacobs looking out the window. he says they will do everything they can to help but she is like “how could you really know how i feel?"

well actually he is quite well versed in kidnappings!!! so please be mindful of your words. she walks away and he looks very sad. way to dig some stuff up for the guy. she didn’t mean it, i know, but still, it was a very purposeful dialogue choice.

(mulder is staring intently at dark red spots on the carpet) “it’s blood”, says a guy we have never seen before. excellent work detective. could have had me fooled. i was thinking it was jam /s

this guy thinks it was someone that knew her, mulder does not think this is the case because it was so bold. fight fight fight!

oh, he actually came on this case to talk to lucy from the burger place!!! and not for the kidnapping. we should have known that was far too conventional for our friend.

(door opens) (deep sigh) (scully’s voice from off screen) "mulder…" <- yeah this had me giggling. not even really sure why. they are reunited after a flight apart. it must have been harrowing. 

so, he explains: the girl, amy, is 15 years old, and was kidnapped. and twenty miles across town, lucy was repeating the same words the kidnapper said as she passed out! “well that’s spooky”, scully notes, and mulder replies “that’s my name, isn’t it?” <- LMAO

OH GET THIS: Lucy was kidnapped when she was 8 for FIVE YEARS!!!! until she was found by the side of the road. HUH??? THE PLOT IS THICKENING. same guy…? scully seems very deep in thought

first thing lucy says upon their entrance: “i’d like a cigarette” in the hospital. queen i think there are laws against this but idk 💔 

they explain that amy said those same words about spoiling it for us at the same time she did, and lucy has a thoughtful look on her face then says no, i know nothing about it. NOT BUYING IT!

paused on scully’s face to take notes and she really is just so beautiful huh. 

lucy asks when she can leave and they say um probs when the doctor says you can. and she’s like, no they said it was up to you. so they’re like uh yeah you can go. this is very exciting and she doesn’t even change before she leaves. 

CREEPY MAN ALERT. he’s on the side of the road with a busted tire and a tow guy offers to change it for him for $10. a screaming deal! until this fellow picks up a crowbar looking thing and screams LEAVE ME ALONE and chases him away!!! deeply suspicious behaviors. tow guy calls him a freak as he drives away. a very rare deserved case of calling someone a freak as you drive by them.

back at the station, the lead agent or whatever his title is tells mulder that lucy and her boyfriend have a criminal record, but mulder doesn’t think she’s involved. i’d have to agree, but maybe i’m easily fooled. 

“mulder, i got something- something weird” scully strides in the room and announces. and i’m thinking, YEAHHHH BABY, WE LOVE THAT AROUND THESE PARTS!!!

so, here is the weird stuff: lucy had two types of blood on her shirt that night… so scully is gonna test and see if there was a match to amy’s. but mulder doesn’t want lucy treated as a suspect, so he says to try and keep that quiet.

now we’re at a halfway house. a guy is going up some stairs whilst lucy shivers in bed. she has scratches all over her face and complains about being unable to see. and it looks like she has the same scratches as the girl in the creepy guy carl’s hole!!!

mulder rolling up to the halfway house. he asks to take lucy to dinner, as the paramedics say she is probably better now after her episode. 

she is going to town on some soup and insisting that she is clean, and you can even ask henry about this. she is very insistent that she CANNOT help amy, but he is trying to gently be like. well... maybe you CAN. and she says: NO.

back in the hole, amy is having pictures taken of her. and screaming

at the station. mulder is watching a video of lucy from 1978 where she is crying on the ground and also screaming. her eyes were hypersensitive to the light when she finally escaped from her kidnapping all those years ago. it’s honestly very upsetting to watch.

oh!! scully has a break in the case: all the school photos were sent out EXCEPT amy’s. and the assistant was fired THAT DAY AFTER THE SHOOT. his name is CARL. and he spent the last 15 years institutionalized “for a bipolar condition”. well would that make him not a suspect for whoever took lucy…? i can’t do math. but if she got back in ‘78 then it would be possible, right? because idk when s3 takes place. anyway, mulder’s gonna show the photo to lucy and see if she knows him.

(i groan when a story makes a villain bipolar or have any other mental health issue to enhance their ~scariness~. it’s cliche, it’s perpetuating harmful stereotypes, and it’s bad writing. i was mentally throwing tomatoes at the screen)

carl is leaving and he left amy in the basement. is this her chance to break free? or is it a trick. she finds a hole in the wall sealed with some wood and starts to rip it up 

back to lucy cam. mulder is trying to get her to stop running away and he grabs her shoulder and she says “DON’T TOUCH ME. i don’t like to be touched” this is understandable and he apologizes.

anyway, he shows her carl’s photo, and she starts to run away again, indicating that she does, in fact, know who it is.

back to amy cam. she’s trying to break free, but he is coming back in his car! he hears her trying to get out and sees her running out the window. she is running!!! into the woods!!! run run run run!!!

lucy is also running. 

but no!!! they both fall!!! mulder picks lucy up. nooooo, amy failed her escape attempt :(

but upon seeing the photo, lucy confirms that it IS the same guy that took her way back when. she says she feels like she’s going through it all over again. 

however, scully and the cops are at the door! lucy is suspicious. reveal: THE BLOOD ON THE UNIFORM WAS AMY’S!!! mulder is saying she didn’t do it, but scully says it’s concrete evidence. unless you believe in the migration of blood. 

carl is explaining to amy that she shouldn’t have run. she asks for some water. is she gonna make another break for it? no. she does not. but she does ask for her mom and also for her to please not die here. it’s very sad.

mulder throws out a theory: maybe lucy bled out amy’s blood. it’s a stretch. “i hate to say this mulder, but i think you just ran out of credibility” <- girl i think that was a while ago.

i jest, but it appears scully does not. yowch. okay, yeah, bleeding someone else’s blood is a little rough in terms of an idea, but some thoughts we try and keep inside our heads in terms of our pals having wild theories.

OHHHH... scully insinuating that he is seeing his sister in lucy, and that is why he cannot see her as the perpetrator when all the evidence points to it…. oh i felt chills... or some sort of adjacent negative experience. bad feelings washed upon me.

he says that not every single thing he does or says is traced back to his sister but… i’m actually not gonna agree with him on that one. anyway, he’s mad at her. and i would be too tbh!

someone is coming in to the station who saw carl. it’s the tow guy!! and he was spotted heading near the place lucy was found years ago!!! 

carl witnesses the cops racing off to his place. but the agents go to the photo store to see if he has an account. not a bad idea on behalf of mulder.

although, we don’t even know if they go in because next they are ambushing carl’s property. and they see the trap door!!! is she in there??? and she is!!!

WAIT NO. IT’S LUCY?? everyone is confused. 

okay, so they DID go to the photo store, because they have the photos of amy that were taken in the basement… i see now. i am listening and learning.

the cop guy wants to take lucy into custody because she can’t say why she is at the crime scene, but mulder is like “no i’ll take her” and scully tells the cop dude it’s alright. so now she must see what he was saying. he’s walking lucy out. and she’s saying that carl hasn’t touched amy, and then she starts shivering and coughing, saying she is cold and wet. and mulder’s touching her….

he says lucy is trying to tell them amy’s in a river, so they try to go there. and then when carl dunks amy underwater, lucy starts spitting up water!!! and then drowning in the car on land. 

agents are running in the woods.

they find carl, and mulder shoots him. then he runs off holding amy. so he starts doing mouth to mouth and she’s doing chest compressions and lucy is coming back to life?? maybe?? no.

scully is trying to tell him to stop because she’s dead, but he won’t, and they actually come to blows about it. he’s sitting there all soggy and wet and crying. but then she finally starts coughing!!! 

mulder learns that lucy was also dying, and he gets all freaked out and runs back to her. and lucy is, in fact, dead. he’s touching her face as water pours out of her and she’s crying. mulder is full on kneeling at her dead body and sobbing. and damn, if this moment didn't get me right in the chest.

scully shows up to the halfway house, where mulder is sitting on lucy’s bed with a bunch of pictures of her. scully says amy had NO INJURIES and she can’t explain it, but nobody wants to talk about it because everyone is relieved to have her back. and it turns out lucy drowned. despite being on land.

“mulder, whatever there was between them, you were part of that connection, did you think about that?” <- AUGH (girl who is in pain as scully tries to put into words how important he is to not just her, but the whole world)

but he says that dying was pretty much all amy could do to escape from her past. and i'm thinking, well, if this whole episode has been a way to comment on your past... what exactly are you saying? because i'm hearing things i don't like. what about the power of healing and friendship? have we tried this?

i’m not sure how i feel about this episode, so i want to hear your thoughts even more than usual. actually, i am pretty sure that i didn't like it. i love a good character-centric episode, and this was definitely a mulder episode, but i felt that scully was really sidelined. like REALLY sidelined. to the extent she felt almost mean, with the losing credibility comment and trying to get him to stop doing CPR and bringing his sister up into it. on the other hand, though, she did seem to accurately describe the situation as himself projecting his past onto these people. it was pretty clear that was the case no matter how much denial he had going on.

luckily, in long form content like this, when something is written that feels out of character, i have an ease of just ignoring it i feel is usually denied in tighter season or movies. like yeah, everyone has an episode or two where their favorite character acts weird as hell. i could already point to a couple episodes on mulder’s behalf- cough cough genderbender cough cough 3- so maybe this will even out the tally of agents doing stuff that feels wrong. and like those episodes, i can ignore them. i am the rememberer and when i need to i am also the forgetter.

(now, you may present an argument to me that these actions WERE in character for scully. and i will not deny you the chance to present that argument my way. i shall hear out cases with a fair and impartial nature. but my opinions have been voiced)

characterization aside. this was another dark episode with almost no lightheartedness. there were a few things i giggled early on, like the way she just announced his name when they’re reunited, but other than that… childhood kidnapping? a real bummer. also, their psychic connection wasn’t even explained. it didn’t seem to follow any sort of logic at all. she would just… snap into it sometimes and then out of it. but you couldn’t really tell why she’d snap into it beyond it seemed moments where amy was in danger. but like. when you’re kidnapped you’re basically in danger 24/7. so: ??? 

and the transmutation of physical injury. they said that amy had no injuries, but we could see she had the same face cuts and scrapes as lucy. so are they ignoring that or are we thinking that lucy dying absorbed all that damage…?

mulder also ends the episode saying that he thinks death was the only way lucy could escape her suffering, which has troubling implications for his own character and those who love him.

hmm. idk, i just don’t think i liked this one. i’m learning that i find children being hurt less campy and fun than aliens and bigfoot. a good scary episode can be that, both good and scary, but i didn’t feel scared because it still was fantastic in nature. when there was a real scary episode- i’m thinking of irresistible in s2- the reason that felt so scary was because it WAS an entirely human, no supernatural elements at all, spooky episode. and that was the whole point; that episode was used to explore scully’s greatest fears, her struggle with being unable to control every aspect of life, trying to grasp who she can and cannot trust, and the depths to which the human soul can descend. so we had something similar going on here, except that lucy was taking amy’s damage, and you can see how that sort of transmigration makes for a harder sell on the commentary of the evil things humans can accomplish, no?

hmm. again, please let me know. i actually might look this one up, because ever since i learned that there are wikipedia episodes for every single episode, i have mostly neglected that fact to avoid audience ratings sullying my own hot takes on the subject. but this one has me curious. 

[lasandra]

Sketches of the Dragon Age men I've romanced + my reactions to their romance! For funsies!

Under the cut because it's quite long... There are spoilers for DA:O, DA:2, and DA:I (Probably not an issue because all these games have been out for 10+ years but I wanted to say, just in case).

These are just how 'I' feel about them. I'd love to hear everyone else's opinions on the characters as well! One thing I love about Dragon Age is that the characters are so complex that people can have very different opinions on them (and mostly not kill each other for it! :P).

Alistair:

Alistair was the reason I started playing the game back in 2010. My father had been given the game by his best friend and he would always let me watch him play games. He hadn't gotten further than defeating the Ogre in the Tower of Ishal before he quit playing, however, much to 12-year-old me's disappointment. I had immediately fallen in love with Alistair and wanted to see more of him! I asked if I could play and fortunately my father was not as careful about checking game ratings/content and said sure!

Words cannot describe how stunned I was when I found out you could romance companions in this game, this was an entirely new concept to me that blew my 12-year-old mind. To this day Alistair is my favorite fictional man and I would destroy all of Thedas to protect him.

Zevran:

I didn't have as positive an experience initially with Zevran as I barely took him anywhere with me initially (so my approval with him was always pretty low). Back then I figured he always would betray you when Taliesen shows up. One day I decided to run a playthrough where I romanced him. When I knew I was getting close to when Taliesen showed up I was sad, but thinking he was still going to betray me, I removed all his weapons and armor so that it would be easier to kill him. Boy was I surprised when he didn't betray me and was instead punching the other crows in his underwear... It was that playthrough that I realized how important it was to check approval lol.

Anders:

Anders and Nathaniel Howe had been my favorite Awakening characters. In my canon playthrough, I had protected the city but lost the keep, with Anders and Justice along with it. Or so I thought. When I loaded up DA:2 and saw him, I thought him being alive was a bug and was so excited that he wasn't dead! And when I saw that you could flirt with him, 13-year-old me was like, "Yeah, I'll be doing THAT!" It was all going great until the end of the game when he BLEW UP THE FREAKING CHANTRY! I was so upset, I wondered what I did wrong to make him do that. I loaded so many saves and started the game over 3 times trying to figure out how to avoid that. When I realized I couldn't stop him no matter what I did, I was completely and utterly devastated and PISSED. He is the reason I have trust issues in Dragon Age. I still choose to romance him sometimes because the guy is such a romantic but I do so expecting sadness and anger in the end lol. Knowing Hawke will never be as important as the cause and the fact that he LIES to Hawke, tricking her into helping him without full knowledge of what she's taking part in, will never cease to annoy me.

A lot, I know... He just makes me feel a lot of things xD It's a complicated love-hate relationship.

Fenris:

It took awhile for me to warm up to Fenris but he is by far and a way my favorite DA:2 romance now. Things are complicated with him and within the romance but it's very clear that he actually cares about Hawke. I can relate to him a bit in one way, the reason he leaves after he and Hawke get together in Act 2. Trauma like that can really ruin things that should make you happy, and it can be very frightening when memories of the traumatic event surface, and the last thing you want to do is make the person you care about feel bad or like it's their fault. It just makes me want to give him a hug. Poor spikey boy...

Sebastian:

I really wish Bioware had had the time to do more with Sebastian. I really do. His romance has some cute moments (and there are some interesting implications if you rivalmance him) but he was made as a DLC companion and it shows. I still quite like his character though, I know a lot of DA fans aren't fond but yeah lol. He can be a bit of a dramatic pain in the butt if you don't kill Anders though. That is very valid criticism.

Cullen:

Ah... Cullen... He was always controversial. A lot like Solas is now. There are people who hate Cullen's guts and people who adore him. I am quite obviously the latter. I wanted to romance him in DA:O, I wanted to romance him in DA:2, and then we finally got him in DA:I and it was better than I ever could have imagined.

Honestly, I kind of suspect that if I hadn't done Alistair's romance first, that Cullen's would be my favorite in the series. It's so sweet and he PROPOSES and married you IN-GAME. That's freaking awesome! And his ending slides after Trespasser just make me really really happy lol.

Alistair is still my favorite but Cullen is a very close second.

Blackwall:

Blackwall is a solid character and a sweet guy; his story and romance are very well written as well. Honestly though, he just looks too old for me. I was 16 when Inquisition came out and I'm 26 now. Dude looks like he could be my dad and so it's hard to convince myself that my characters would be interested in him. No shade to those who like him, just different preferences, and like I said, he's still a very compelling character and if he were younger or less bearded, I could probably enjoy the romance too.

While I make a big deal about Blackwall lying about being a Grey Warden, it's mostly just me picking on him. I actually do think it makes for an interesting narrative. It's so easy to sus him out when you've played Origins though lol! That being said, I DO make him become a legitimate Grey Warden because it just feels right to me and ensures that every Dragon Age game I play has at least one Grey Warden companion (so that everything is right in the universe).

Please don't hate me Blackwall fans lol!

Solas:

Am I a massive hypocrite for loving Solas so much while not being all that fond of Blackwall? Probably yes... But I can't help it! To be fair though, before I finished Inquisition for the first time (this was before the Trespasser DLC btw), I didn't even think I'd be interested. I'm a diehard Solavellan now, but I had initially just seen him as a pajama-wearing fade nerd (aren't I sweet?). As I've said I was 16 when I first played Inquisition and was too busy romancing Cullen to notice all the (in hindsight) obvious signs that there was more to Solas than met the eye.

When I saw that he was the dreadwolf... I kind of flipped my ever living shit. Fen'Harel had been the most interesting of the elven pantheon to me since I played my first dalish elf warden in Origins and now my Lavellan had the chance to romance him??? So naturally I did just that my next playthrough.

I didn't use the internet like I do now so I had no idea what was coming in Crestwood though. OOF! I was in shock. How dare this pajama-wearing fade nerd elven god just dump my poor Lavellan like that! Then Trespasser came out I had round 2 of getting my heart ripped out of my chest, dashed into a thousand pieces, and strewn about the fade in the most tragic way possible. *Is dramatic*

Cullen and Alistair may be my favorite romances for the romance itself, but Solas is my favorite romance for the overarching story. I mean, because the Inquisitor is seen by so much of Thedas as the Herald of Andraste, Lavellan is canonically a religious figure of the chantry whether she agrees with it or not. Solas is a religious figure of the elves. This means two religious figures from two separate religions get together and that is just SO interesting from a story perspective!

I can't wait to see what they do with the Solavellan romance in Veilguard. I hope it doesn't hurt too much xD

The Iron Bull:

16-year-old me was not prepared for this romance... At ALL. My poor mostly innocent eyes lol (Cullen's too!). It's a fun romance though, and my default inquisition romance for my Qunari and dwarf characters. He's cool. Plus I had a bit of a crush on Freddie Prinze Jr when I was a kid so like, that makes it kind of neat!

Final Thoughts:

Bioware has always written truly amazing characters and romances and I am so excited to see what Veilguard has to offer. I am probably going to have to do two playthroughs at once so I can romance Lucanis and Davrin so I can play both without knowing too much in advance.

Like I said at the top, I'd love to know what everyone's opinions of the characters are! Loveya!

[e-dubbc11]

Ericca, my love. I come to you with a little idea (and challenge) ❤️

We both know how much you love Frank Grillo, so I had an idea for another one of his characters. Leo Barnes from The Purge franchise.

Reader being a sweet waitress at a Cafe where Leo buys his coffee. They always have polite exchanges, bordering on flirting. Maybe some hidden feelings? Then Purge night comes along and by some freak accident she's trapped outside. And of course Leo is there to save the day. And maybe... a little kiss at the end? 🥺👉👈

A little coffee shop meet-cute meets horror. If anyone can do it, you can. I kept it deliberately vague, cause I want you to have artistic freedom 🤣❤️

Sweet Lily,

I love your challenges for me so so much! I’ve been watching a LOT of Frank Grillo lately and yes, you’re right, I love him 🤣🥵 and Leo is obviously a character I haven’t written for before but I loved this idea and I just think he’s so smexy. I know this wasn’t a sleepover ask but it’s been done for a little while so I just wanted to get it out. I hope you like it and thank you again for sending it in! ♥️♥️♥️

A Call for Help

Photos are not mine. They are courtesy of Pinterest/Google.

Pairing: Sergeant Leo Barnes x F! Reader

Warnings: Swearing, violence, little fluff, little smooching

Word Count: 4.1K-ish

Summary: It’s 2 days before the yearly Purge. You’re working in a coffee shop, and your regular, Sergeant Barnes, comes in just like every morning for his coffee.

A/N: This is my first time writing for Leo and I really really liked it. I’d definitely be willing to write for him again. For those who aren’t aware, Sergeant Leo Barnes is from The Purge: Anarchy.

As always, thank you for reading!  I appreciate it so much and comments, reblogs are welcome and encouraged. Don’t be shy to tell me your favorite part. 💕💕 💕

Los Angeles, March 20, One day before the annual Purge

This was probably one of the worst decisions you’ve ever made. Moving to Los Angeles was a terrible idea and you’ve regretted it every single day since you’ve been out here. Smog, crime, and homelessness were just three of the reasons this was an awful place to live, plus you really missed home on the east coast.

No one put on fake smiles there. You missed the scowls and the open judgement of home and now you were living in a place where the smiles were as fake as the boobs.

But your boyfriend had convinced you it would be a good thing. A fresh start in a new city was just what you needed according to him and stupidly, you agreed with him. What a stupid idea to pick up and leave all of your family and friends behind for a man you’ve known for less than year.

However, about three months after the two of you arrived in L.A., you caught him cheating with bleach blonde bimbo with fake tits, fake hair, and who knows what else was fake on Malibu Barbie.

Feeling ashamed and stupid, you knew you couldn’t go home right away plus you didn’t have enough money to leave. You worked two jobs to make the money you needed so you worked tirelessly in a coffee shop during the day and a few nights a week, you tended bar at an upscale gentleman’s club where the clientele handed you ridiculous tips.

You probably didn’t even need to work at the coffee shop during the day because of the money you made at the club but the more money you brought in, the faster you could get back home and leave Los Angeles far behind.

The aroma of coffee was one of your favorite scents, it made you happy and the veteran owned coffee shop where you worked was welcoming and cozy. You didn’t have to pretend to enjoy working there because you actually did. Sure, you had the occasional rude customer that you had to put a fake smile on for but most of the time, it was a pleasure to work there.

When anyone but your regulars would come in, you and your co-workers would try and make a guess of what kind of coffee they wanted before they arrived at the counter. It was a fun game.

No one really ordered coffee flavored coffee anymore though. It was always a hazelnut concoction, or a touch of chocolate, a pump of this, almond milk, oak milk, or whatever the newest trend was in coffee. They all had to have it…except for him.

He only ever ordered a large black coffee and for that, he was your favorite customer.

Sergeant Barnes had deep brown hair, lightly tanned skin, and his eyes were the color of Tennessee whiskey. His golden amber eyes made your stomach flutter every morning when he came in around 8:30.

His thick fingers scratched at the days old stubble on his cheeks after he walked through the door and the raspy tone to his voice made you weak in the knees every time he said “Mornin’, sweetheart.” Plus, his police uniform really did it for you.

Everyone at work knew you had a crush on Sergeant Barnes. You didn’t really try and hide it. The way you jumped to the front counter whenever he walked through the door was obvious to them, not so much to him though.

Biting back a smile, you saw him walk up to the door while everyone behind the counter scattered so you were the only one available to wait on him.

“Real subtle, you guys.” You said.

Jane chuckled and said sarcastically, “Hey, we know how much you loooooove him. We don’t blame you either, your Sergeant is pretty hot.”

“Alright, keep your voice down.” You said with a slight grin. “He’s coming.”

“Maybe he’s just breathing heavy.” Another one of your co-workers said.

You playfully slapped him. “Tim! Shut it!”

The lines around his eyes crinkled when he smiled at you.

“Mornin’, sweetheart. Anyone give you shit today? I can go arrest them if they did.” He said in a lighthearted tone.

A wide smile stretched across your lips and your voice got caught in your throat as you answered, “Uh, n-no. Not today, Sergeant. The usual?”

“The usual…please.” He replied.

You turned around to fill the cup with black coffee and your friends were looking at you, grinning like idiots. Jane tried to make hand gestures to try and get you to engage in more conversation with him.

It was a little morbid but you started talking about the Purge anyway.

“S-so the Purge is tomorrow night, huh? I imagine it gets pretty brutal in a city like L.A.” You said, your voice shaking a little.

Sergeant Barnes took his wallet from his pants and tapped the machine to pay for his coffee. His expression hardened when he heard the words. The muscles in his face tightened as he clenched his teeth and wrapped his fingers around his coffee cup.

“It is sweetheart and you make sure you’re locked up inside before those sirens go off, understand?” He said in angry tone.

You could feel all of the color in your face disappear and you imagined your face was as white as a marble pillar. You folded your hands together and rested them on the counter to stop them from shaking while staring into his sad eyes.

He could tell he frightened you a little, looking at his body language and hearing the gruff tone to his voice.

“Ah, I’m sorry y/n. I didn’t mean to snap at ya. I just want you to stay safe, is all. Ok?” He said softly.

You nodded and said uneasily as you tried to smile, “Y-yes, I-I understand.”

Sergeant Barnes reached for your hand. His fingers were calloused but his touch was gentle and comforting, almost protective in a way.

“It’ll be alright. I’ll see ya tomorrow.” He said as his brushed your knuckles with his thumb and gave you a warm smile.

He walked out and you didn’t exhale until he was out of sight. That’s when everyone ran up to you making comments to you about how they could tell the Sergeant likes you.

Imitating the Sergeant, Jane said “’I just want you to stay safe.’ Oh my god, he’s into you too!”

“Nah, maybe he was just being nice. He knows I haven’t been in L.A. long so it’s my first Purge out here.” You said.

Jane rolled her eyes. “Yeah, ok. You’ll find out soon enough, won’t you.” She said.

You replied, “I suppose I will.”

7:00 AM, March 21, 12 Hours Before the Start of The Purge

The morning hours were usually pretty busy and time went by quickly but this morning was different, quieter, slower, which you found rather frightening. Even the air had an eerie feel to it because you knew what was coming…the one night a year where all crime was legal, even murder.

Back home you lived in a small New England town where nothing really happened except in larger cities. The next day, you would see all of the carnage left behind. Vandalism, robberies, burning buildings, the dead bodies…as much as you were hardened by the tough upbringing you had back home, nothing prepared you for what was going to happen 12 hours from now.

And you hated to admit it to yourself but it scared you because you were all alone now. You didn’t have anyone out here to go to feel safe.

It was close to 8:30 and you knew Sergeant Barnes would be in soon so everyone was acting busy, cleaning, preparing online orders, or doing whatever they could to give you space so you could talk to your crush.

Jane checked the time. “It’s almost 8:30, y/n. Hey maybe your Sergeant will ask you to stay with him during Purge hours. He’ll be able to keep you safe then.” She said with a wink.

“Well I doubt it but if you wanna manifest that for me, you’re more than welcome to. My building is pretty secure and I’m high up so I should be ok.” You said.

It didn’t mean you wanted to sit there all night and watch the news because you definitely wouldn’t be able to sleep.

As you wiped down the front counter, you looked up to see Sergeant Barnes getting ready to reach for the door handle. He wasn’t wearing his police uniform though. In place of his uniform, he was wearing a black t-shirt, gray pants, and a black jacket.

You said hello first.

“Good mornin’ Sergeant. You’re not working today?” You asked.

He shook his head, smiled and replied, “Not today, sweetheart. I got some stuff to take care of before tonight. What time are you workin’ until today?”

Warmth spread across your chest and your stomach dropped. Nervously, you replied, “Here? Me? Uh, w-well I’m working until 2 and then I have some errands to run before I go home for the night. Lemme get you your coffee.”

You turned around and poured his coffee into a cup, your hand shaking slightly which he noticed.

“You ok, y/n?” He asked. “Nervous?”

With a hitch in your voice, you replied, “Yeah, well, uh maybe a little.”

“Tell ya what…how bout I check on ya right before the sirens go off, make sure you’re home and all locked up.” He said, sliding his phone across the counter. “Put your number in there and I’ll call you, ok? I promise.”

You felt your shoulders relax and your hands stopped shaking as you typed in your number into his phone. You were feeling better already.

“Thank you, Sergeant Barnes. This is really nice of you. Can I get you anything else for the road? A muffin or a breakfast sandwich, perhaps?” You asked.

“I’m good with just the coffee, sweetheart. Thank you. And y/n?” He said.

You looked up from the register and replied, “Yes?”

“It’s Leo…my first name is Leo.” He said with a wink.

You couldn’t hide the fact you were blushing now. Biting down on your lower lip, you managed to reply with, “Ok…Leo. I guess I’ll talk to you soon.”

Leo brushed your knuckles with his fingers again and replied, “Yes, you will.”

After quickly running to the store for some supplies, mostly food, you headed for home. It was 6:30, plenty of time to walk home and get settled before the sirens went off. But when you arrived at your building, everything was locked up tight. Metal panels were fastened to the side of the building, blocking all of the exits, leaving only the fire escapes open.

You looked at your watch…6:50. There wasn’t any time to find a safe place to go. Looking down the street, you could see figures dressed in dark clothing, sweatshirts with hoods, and wearing creepy face masks, they were just waiting for those sirens to go off indicating the start of the Purge. And you couldn’t be sure but you had the sinking feeling that they were looking right at you.

Suddenly, your phone started to ring. You didn’t recognize the number but remembered Sergeant Barnes said he would call later to make sure you were alright and ready to wait out the next 12 hours. Maybe this was him.

With a shaky finger, you pressed the answer button.

“H-hello?” You said with a hitch in your voice.

He replied, “Hey y/n, it’s Leo. Just callin’ to make sure you’re home and safe.”

There was a long pause because you were trying to regain your composure to answer him, otherwise you were going to burst into tears.

He said your name again.

“Y/n? Hello?”

You finally answered.

“Y-yeah, I’m here Leo. Uh, I’m locked out of my building! I came home and everything was shut up tight, I can’t get in! I don’t know what happened! I can’t get anywhere in five minutes to wait out the next 12 hours, there’s no time!” You said in a scared tone.

Leo barked into the phone. “Where are you?!!”

You told him your address.

“Yeah, ok I know where that is. Try and find a place to hide and I’ll be there in FIVE minutes!” He said.

Tightly hugging the walls of your building, you crept around the corner to the alley. You knew there were a couple of dumpsters you could probably hide behind. He said five minutes which would take you right to 7:00.

You told yourself, “it won’t be for that long…he’ll be here soon.”

There was a small space in between two large dumpsters you managed to wedge yourself into while you impatiently waited for Leo to show up and how was he already so close to where you are? Did he live nearby? Was he participating in the Purge?

A restless shiver shot down your back as goosebumps danced across your skin. The hair on the back of your neck was standing on end as you crouched down low and out of sight while hugging your body to try and stop yourself from shaking uncontrollably.

Just as you heard the sirens, you also heard voices at the end of the alley, none of which were Leo’s.

“I saw her come down here.” One of them said.

Another replied, “You didn’t see shit, there’s no one down here! Let’s go.”

Along with their voices, the sound of a wooden baseball bat being dragged across the pavement could be heard echoing all around you. There was no place left to hide and you could only hope they would get frustrated and leave.

“Wait. She could be hiding around those dumpsters down there. Let’s go check.” He said.

Shit.

You couldn’t make a run for it. There were a lot more people waiting outside the alley than inside plus Leo told you told you to stay there. He was coming for you.

You could hear the footsteps getting closer and your heart was racing as it beat faster and harder against your chest until the sounds of the baseball bat stopped and you heard the voices again.

“You were right. She’s over here and she is a pretty little thing, isn’t she.” He said.

Two of them were wearing these creepy white masks and a third had his face painted white, black circles drawn under his eyes and an upside down cross had been drawn on his forehead. Pointing his machete at you, he silently told you he wanted you to come out.

The ones with the baseball bats began striking the dumpster over and over again, scaring you each time the bats hit against the dumpsters and the loud noises echoed throughout the alley.

The tears came hard and fast. They streaked down your cheeks uncontrollably as you opened your mouth to try and speak to them.

“P-please, y-you don’t wanna do th-this.” You choked out.

One of them that was holding a bat, stopped to look at you. From behind the mask, it had appeared that he had recognized you.

“5C?!” He said.

5C was your apartment number.

You replied, “Yes! Yes! I’m in 5C!”

“She’s always nice to us, man. Come on, leave her alone.” He pleaded.

The leader shoved him out of the way.

“I’ll decide who lives or dies! You got that?!” He yelled.

The other two nodded as the one with the machete started to speak again but was suddenly cut off. You heard three gun shots, then each of them hitting the pavement and crying out in pain. They had all been shot in the knee caps.

“Let’s go! Come on, y/n!” Shouted Leo.

He waved you out from in between the dumpsters, grabbed you by the hand and you started running toward the black car that was parked at the end of the alley.

“Get in the backseat and stay outta sight, understand?!” Commanded Leo.

Out of breath, you managed to choke out, “Y-yes. I understand! But why are you out here, Sergeant? You’re dressed like you’re…Purging!”

Leo didn’t answer you; he just started driving.

“LEO!!” You said, angrily.

“You could just say ‘thank you,’ sweetheart, alright?! I like you but what I’m doing out here is none of your concern.” He said, glancing at you in the rearview mirror.

Softly, you replied, “Thank you…thank you for saving me, Sergeant. But you’re stuck with me for the next 12 hours, so can you please tell me why you’re out here, dressed like you are, and why you have a car full of guns? Please, Leo.”

Cowering in the backseat, your eyes met his gaze every time he glanced at you in the mirror. His eyes were the color of amber and right before the sun disappeared beneath the horizon, they reflected in the mirror, matching the gold in the sunset. They were beautiful.

Leo was always very pleasant and nice every single morning when he came in to get his coffee but there was something very sad behind his beautiful eyes. Other than the pleasantries, you didn’t know anything more about him than any other customer of yours…but you wanted to.

He pulled over in an area that seemed pretty safe and parked the car. Making sure the doors were locked, he turned the engine off, and leaned with his back against the window so he could look at you.

Without warning, he told you why he was out tonight.

“My son was killed by a drunk driver but since he technically died on Purge night, the driver got off on that technicality.” He said in a low angry voice and a touch of acid in his tone.

Your heart sank into your stomach and cutting through the silence you said, “Oh Leo…I’m…I’m so sorry.”

That’s why his eyes were so sad.

He replied, “So you said I look like I’m dressed to purge…well, you’re right. I am. I want that son of a bitch dead. He took my son from me and I want him to pay for what he did.”

You placed your hand on top of his. The smooth skin of your palm brushed against the rough dry patches on his knuckles and with your other hand, you slowly and carefully brushed the stubble on his cheek.

“Don’t look at me that way, y/n. I already know what you’re going to say.” He said before you cut him off.

“Well I’m gonna say it anyway, Leo. You’re not gonna feel any better and it’s not going to bring your son back!” You said.

Leo glared at you with his whiskey colored eyes and with a dry bitterness in his throat, he said, “How do you know I won’t feel better?! Huh?!!”

Instead of matching his intensity, you calmly but firmly said, “Because that hole in your heart will still be there when it’s all over. Please don’t do this.”

He didn’t care and he wasn’t hearing what you had to say.

“Listen, I’m gonna drop you off at my apartment. You’ll be safe there ‘til I get back. I disabled one of the security panels at his house so it will be quick, in and out and I’ll be back alright?” He said.

The entire ride back to his apartment, you begged him not to go through with it, to the point where you tried to block him from leaving or at least taking you with him but it was no use.

He left you with a few guns and weapons, just in case but he said he would be back soon and he would take you home in the morning after the Purge was all over.

Leo had secured his place really well so you felt safe but scared for him. You knew it wasn’t going to make anything better, it wouldn’t help him heal, and it wouldn’t bring his son back.

One of the pictures you found of Leo’s son had his name written on the back…Nicholas. He had a very sweet face and he looked a lot like Leo.

Maybe if you had tried harder to keep him from leaving, Leo wouldn’t be out there right now murdering the man who killed his son.

You couldn’t even begin to try and know how he felt but he was in agony and the only way he knew how to deal with it was an eye for an eye. It was too late though and all you could do was sit and wait for him to come back.

You had managed to find some tea and the tv remote control. It was hidden in the couch cushions. Almost every channel was covering the Purge but all you wanted to do was escape from it so you searched until you found a movie that was far from anything that was going on outside.

No matter how many times you’ve seen it, The Wizard of Oz was one of your favorite movies so you watched it whenever it was on tv and no matter where it was in the movie too, you’d still watch it to the end.

At around 12:30 you head keys in the door. You had been too wired to try and sleep so you just drank tea and nervously bit your nails. Obviously, it had to be Leo if he was using keys to get inside but you still didn’t want to take any chances so you positioned yourself in front of the door with one of his guns in your hands.

The door cracked open and you heard a voice from behind it.

“Sweetheart, put the gun down, it’s just me.” He said.

How did he know?

“It’s been hours, Leo. Where have you been?” You asked. “Where does this guy live?! I hope you got what you wanted out of it because—“

Leo interrupted you.

“I didn’t do it.” He said softly.

“What?” You replied in a very surprised tone.

He closed the door behind him and started to walk toward you, stopping inches from your face.

“I could have. I was in the guy’s bedroom, while he and his wife were sleeping. I could have done it but then I kept hearing a voice in my head…your voice saying ‘that hole in your heart will still be there when it’s all over.’ Your voice stopped me from pulling that trigger.” His voice sounded extra raspy.

“Leo—“ You started to say before he cut you off.

He pinched your chin in between his thumb and forefinger, tilted it upward so you were looking into his eyes and he planted a soft kiss on your lips.

“I’m sorry.” Said Leo. “I just wanted to feel something other than hate and sadness. And no one has been able to change my mind once I’ve made up my mind about something but I listened to you.”

You replied, “I imagine that couldn’t have been easy but…I’m glad you did. And I’m not gonna pretend I know what you must be feeling because I don’t but I do know that it wouldn’t have made things any better.”

Closing the gap between your faces, you kissed him. Leo’s lips tasted sweet like caramel and black coffee. His mouth slanted over yours which made your entire body shudder.

Pulling you into an embrace, the two of you stood there in silence for a minute. Leo released a long exhale down the side of your neck, goosebumps erupted across your skin, and he squeezed you tightly against his chest.

“Thank you.” Whispered Leo.

You gave him a warm smile and replied, “You’re welcome, Sergeant Barnes.” Glancing at your watch, you asked, “Well we have about 6 hours left, what do you wanna do?”

As he brushed a stray hair away from your face, he replied, “Well…if you can’t tell, I kinda like ya so I’d love to get to know you better.”

Warmth spread across your cheeks as you bit back a smile.

You felt safe in his arms and deep down you knew Leo would never let anything bad happen to you. He rescued you barely knowing anything about you, only that you poured his coffee every morning but he did it anyway.

And in a way, you rescued him too.

Softly against his chest, you whispered, “I’d like that too.”

Tag List: @gijos

[jqmalikhsgib]

moonlight

three

eddie holds her close as she lies on his chest. he stares at the ceiling before simply looking at his girlfriend. eddie still couldn’t believe it. yn yln was his girlfriend!

she was by far the prettiest girl in hawkins high. sure, others would say it’s tammy but they’d be wrong. yn was breathtaking to eddie. she might be an angel forreal, he wouldn’t know nor would he care. he was in love.

eddie never expected to find love. after his mother died and his father was sent to jail, eddie was constantly shamed by the whole town of hawkins. the ten year old boy was confused. he was just a boy, a simple little boy who lost his mom and dad in less than three years from each other. he was shunned for the crimes his father committed. people expected him to be nothing but a criminal just like his old man. eddie only did what he could do. he put all his anger into his favorite game, dungeons and dragons! he became an excellent dungeon master. it was his rage that made him good. then his uncle introduced him to the guitar.

eddie became good at playing. he started writing music and finding other kids who were labeled as ‘freaks’ to for a band. they were actually pretty fucking good. unfortunately they listened to that ‘devil worshipping’ music. with how closed minded the fuckers in hawkins were, he was only shunned even more. people started labeling him as a cult leader. and creating a club named ‘hellfire’ where you play a game that’s getting bad press didn’t help his case. but eddie didn’t care. he couldn’t have care less about what these dumb fucks think of him. eddie knew he’d make a name for himself, he knew he’d be successful and prove everyone who ever doubted his abilities wrong.

his mother was the only person that pushed eddie. his mom letting him know he was somebody and the whole world will know his name. and still ‘till this day he believed her. her words always left an impression on him. and then he met her.

god, when he first laid eyes on her, she was mesmerizing. the way the sun shined in her hair, her eyes glowed brightly, her smile lit up his heart. she was fucking perfect. finding out she’d been the daughter of a preacher, knowing how this town looked at him, knowing what her parents might think if they saw him. he knew he had no shot with her. not a single bit. but he was so wrong.

when she approached him he thought she’d been confused at first. ‘no fucking way is she actually talking to me. no one she knows my name. no fucking say man!’ but she did. she knew who eddie had been and she didn’t give a fuck what anyone else thought of him. she thought eddie was beautiful, unique, intriguing, intelligent, funny, and handsome.

eddie still has yet to believe she wanted him just as much as he wanted her. and here he is, six months later dating her. six months of kisses, six months of hand holding, six months of tight hugs, six months of i love you. six whole months since you gave him a chance. he thanked his lucky stars every single second of every single day. he promised he wouldn’t mess this up.

it’s one reason why he hesitated to make love to her. he knew it would be her first time. he didn’t want to hurt her and he knew how much she vowed to stay a virgin until marriage. but then her words made his heart flutter. “‘m not worried ‘bout that eds. i know in my heart you’re my forever. in a way, im giving myself to my husband.” he spent the rest of the night worshipping her body. eddie simply looks at her once more. kissing her forehead gently before whispering in her ear “goodnight, wife.” he truly been lucky.

looking at her now has only made his heart hurt. that night was something he’d cherish forever. it was the moment he knew, or at least thought, he’d marry her.

then he woke up one morning hearing the rumors about her family suddenly moving. he didn’t believe it at first. but when he passed by her house and saw the for sale sign, his heart shattered. he assumed her family found out she’d been dating eddie and took her away. the one thing that made eddie really happy in a long time. eddie wasn’t sure why he assumed something would actually be great for once. he should have known better.

the night she left he was reminded of the last thing his father told him before he got arrested for good. “the munson men are cursed, kid! i should have known your mom being my ticket to happiness was just a sick joke god played on me. we munson men, we’re only good for being a slave for the man, or being criminal, no in between. we don’t get the fairytale happy ending. it’s no princess waiting in the castle for us with a shit ton of doe. we are who we are. if i taught you anything kid, remember that.”

he was absolutely right. what a fucking fool he’s been to fall for it.

“hey, why don’t we all go to the play room, yeah? maybe start building something with the legos?” nancy grabs all the kids, including kali. eddie hadn’t notice the little girl who looked identical to him. he’d been too busy staring at her. 

she gives him an awkward smile. looking down at her feet before clearing her throat. “it’s so much i have to tell you, eds. i just don’t know where to start.”

eddie simply shakes his head. “you don’t need to explain yourself to me, yn. i know your parents probably found out about us.”

her eyes begin to water. he could tell she wanted anything to hold his hand, hug him, and kiss him as if it were their last. he knew that look. it’s never changed.

“it’s deeper than that. i—eddie what my parents did wasn’t okay. what this town has done to you was never okay. seeing you as some kind of—it’s disgusting eddie. you were just a young boy when it started. i don’t know how you did it, eds. i still don’t! you’re the strongest man i know.”

eddie gives her a half smile. he didn’t have much to say. he wanted her to speak. mostly because he missed her voice. it feels good hearing her again.

she simply closed her eyes before sighing. eddie assumed she was holding back tears. he had been doing so the moment he saw her face.

“just gonna rip this off like a bandaid. eddie, the reason why my parents forced us to leave was due to my pregnancy,”

she looks at eddie. he just gives her a blank stare. she frowns not knowing if he heard her. but as soon as his hands connect with his mouth she knew he did.

“i—they just barely made friends in this town. my father being a preacher, he couldn’t risk this town looking at his daughter as the ‘town slut.’ or the ‘freaks mistress.’ so he moved us and forced me to sign my right away to my, our kid. after a few years i couldn’t take it anymore. her seeing me as her older sister and not her mother, it felt so wrong eddie. i—i tried to get to hawkins but i didn’t have enough money. not for food, clothes, shelter, nothing! i knew i had to get my life together to being a single mom. so i moved in with my grandmother and saved and saved and saved. i worked many jobs, barely getting any sleep, making sure our baby was fed, telling her about her dad. i sacrificed a lot to get back to you, eds. so we could get back.” when she finished eddie stared at her. he soaked all the information in.

she bites her bottom lip before hearing footsteps running towards her. she looks down as she feels arms wrap around her. “im hungry, mamma.”

eddie simply bends down. he looks at the little girl. she had her hair in two simple braids, she was wearing an orange rugrats t-shirt, a pair of overalls, and a necklace with an e on it.

eddie cried. he couldn’t believe it. he was a dad! eddie was a father to the cutest kid. he didn’t even know her but he already loved her. she had his eyes. he knew he’d do anything just from one look. this little girl already had him wrapped around his finger. he still couldn’t believe that he was a father.

“mamma.” the little girl whispers. she gestured for her mom to bend down.

“why’s the curly haired man crying? did i do something, mamma?” the little girl questioned.

eddie simply laughs through his tears.

“no, baby. it’s just—remember how mamma said one day she’s gonna take us home to daddy?”

the little girl simply nods her head. “well baby, the curly haired man is crying because he’s your dad and he loves you. he’s just feeling overjoyed.”

“oh! can—can daddy take us to dinner?”

eddie noticed she was going to decline. eddie simply shakes his head with a smile before nodding at his daughter gently.

“yeah, let’s—let’s get some food.” eddie whispers.

eddie watches as his daughter plays in the mcdonalds playroom. she was definitely a mini version of himself. he’s learned that she’s a talker.

the whole time they’d been eating she told eddie pretty much her entire childhood. eddie listened to every word. he loved listening to her babble.

he couldn’t believe that just a few hours ago he was just a man. a man who suffered for the last six years without the only woman he’s ever loved. now that same woman is back in his life and brought him someone precious to spoilt.

god, eddie felt like he now had a purpose in life again. he still had so much work to do within himself. with everything that happened in the upside down. he’s so grateful that dustin and steve carried him out. he would miss this very moment of his life if he died down there. he owed everything to those two. he owed everything to the doctors that saved his life as well.

“so, we should probably discuss somethings.” eddie turned. he completely forgot that the woman he loved, the woman he still loved, was right in front of him.

“nance told me that you almost died, eds.”

here it goes. the seriousness of his life. he knew they’d have to talk about it at some point. he wasn’t quite ready to tell her everything. she didn’t need to know everything! it’s not like she’d believe him anyway. who would believe that a simple fantasy game could be reality?

“i—i did.”

“im sorry, eds. i—i couldn’t imagine what you went through. nance didn’t tell me much. she said that you tried to save the town even after they tried to pin you for murder. may i ask who died?”

eddie clears his throat. he didn’t know how to answer her. telling her that the girl he had a crush on before meeting her, was inside of his house. it would probably devastate her. she knew of his crush on the cheerleader. she’d probably think they’d been together.

but he knew her as well. she could sense a lie a mile away. he didn’t wanna lie to her.

“chrissy.”

“cunningham? how did she—how did she die?”

eddie scratches the back of his head. he bites his bottom lip before looking into her eyes.

“it’s hard to explain, yn. she just—it was the most terrifying thing i seen in my life and im still facing the hell it put me through.”

thankful his girl was understandable. she never pushed eddie into revealing anything he wasn’t ready for. that’s something he’d always love her for.

“i hope this won’t affect whatever this is.” eddie points between the two.

“eddie, we’ve both changed over the last six years. i had our daughter and also had to deal with my toxic parents. you had to deal with seeing someone die and almost dying yourself. we still have so much to work on, eds. for the sake of our family, for our daughter, i think we both need to have professional help. nance tells me you’re already in therapy. that’s great, eddie! means you want to get better. and that’s exactly what kali needs. she needs both her parents to be stable and happy! im looking for a therapist myself. i think until we can figure things out for our kid, we shouldn’t be seeing each other. not romantically. i don’t think either of us are ready for that.”

eddie nods his head. he wants her back. wants to be with her and only her. but he knew mentally, he wasn’t ready for that just yet. eddie had a little ways to go before starting a relationship with anyone. he loves her with his whole soul. but he couldn’t ruin something so pure and beautiful when he’s suffering. he needs time to grow. especially now that he’s a dad.

“i love you eds. ill always love you. you’re my person, okay? and i—i want us to be together. i just want us to be together properly. we deserve to give kali, and ourselves time to learn each other again and time to heal.”

“i agree. i just want to be apart of her life yn. your parents took six years away from me. six years of not knowing where you were or if you were safe. and six years of not knowing i had a daughter. promise me you won’t take that away?”

“i could never! so, we’ll figure this out?”

eddie looks at his kid once more. he gives her a simple nod. “we’ll figure this out.”

[sitp-recs]

🎶 HD Wireless 2023 - Sitp Recs

After a short hiatus I come bearing Wireless gifts! I was hoping to get started today but a power outage gave me some free hours (and a charged phone) on Thursday night so here we are. The fest has been posting for the past two weeks and these are my favorites so far. I was thinking I might just update this list as I go on through the second half (instead of creating a new one) so pls expect a few reblogs. The idea is to celebrate these amazing works and invite folks to check them out before reveals! Keep in mind that as usual, my picks are 100% personal and based on my own preferences. I strongly recommend checking the full collection. Enjoy!

Fic:

🚬 Don’t hate him when he gets up to leave by @deliciousblizzardshark (M, 2k)

The linens are white and empty, sunlight slanting through the window illuminating a bed that has been deserted. Draco knew Potter would leave; he’s always gone by morning. Draco doesn’t even remember what he looks like in daylight.

🦵Wrong in all the Right Ways by @phdmama (E, 4k)

Draco is pretty sure that Potter is trying to kill him. Not in, like a murdery sort of way. There’s been too much atonement and forgiveness and redemption for that. Too many difficult conversations that ended, more than once, with awkward hugs. Maybe even some tears. They’re not friends obviously, but at the very least, they’ve moved past the past. (Mostly.) So no, Potter’s definitely not trying to kill him in a permanent death sort of way, but more like… In a horny sort of way.

🌃 All I Think About by @skeptiquewrites (T, 4.4k)

Sometimes all it takes is one perfect late summer night in June.

📱 Mirrors inside me by @cavendishbutterfly (E, 6k)

Draco’s been in love with Potter forever. And just because they work together, and they fuck, and they text and break up and get back together regularly doesn’t mean Potter needs to know. In fact, it’s a pretty good reason why he shouldn’t.

🎹 About This Place by @academicdisasterfic (E, 10k)

Harry left everything, including Draco. Harry’s returned to everything, including Draco. Things are never quite so simple, though perhaps they could be. Based on ‘You and I’ by Lady Gaga for Wireless 2023.

🌈 I only want the ones I envy (I envy) by porcelainheart3 (E, 13k)

Despite this arrangement he has with Draco, conducted entirely in the privacy of a dusty stationery cabinet, Harry is definitely not gay. But to appease his friends, he agrees to go on one (1) date with a man. Just to be sure.

🥃 if i could never give you peace by poisonivy206 (E, 17k)

Eleven years after the Battle of Hogwarts, Aurors Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are forcibly brought together by a new case that's bound to reopen old wounds. Enter a Firewhisky problem, prejudices that never really go away, and an obsession as old as time.

🚙 Rich Friend by @sorrybutblog (E, 18k)

As far as Harry can tell, Draco Malfoy is still rich as hell. He’s just not a wizard anymore. Featuring: Draco Malfoy trying to make it as a Muggle pop star, Harry Potter as our confused and horny hero, bad driving, good music, and the mysterious magic of falling for someone.

🍫 Waking Up Slow by @sweet-s0rr0w, art by @ihopeyoubothstaysafefromharm (E, 22k)

'Twas the night before Christmas, although it’s July / Draco’s a shopkeeper, no-one knows why / There’s hiking and witch caves, freak snowfalls and more / Bad Christmas jumpers, nosy neighbours galore / Narcissa’s here too, but… something’s amiss / And what’s in those chocolates that’s making them kiss?

🪩 Take You Home by @lqtraintracks (E, 26k)

Everybody’s a little fucked up after the war, Draco especially. What starts as hate sex after a night out, eventually turns into something else, something more like comfort. And even though his friends all tell Harry he’s just being used, all Harry’s doing is making sure Draco gets home in one piece. He’s not falling helplessly in love.

🐍 Sun Thief by @floydig, art by BlackRose532 (E, 28k)

It’s 2005, and Draco Malfoy says, “Fuck the Ministry,” Harry works as a handyman in muggle London, and Draco should really stop pissing off the Squib gangs. Or: Harry beats up a pimp and isn’t sorry about it, Draco deals black market potions, and they’re shagging. Again.

🍊 Nothing But You On My Mind by @moonflower-rose (M, 29k)

Potter has been in Australia on an internship for almost a year, and Draco cannot wait for him to get back home. They'll finally have a chance to talk about their feelings for each other. What could possibly go wrong? Loads, as it turns out.

🌊 What We Left Behind by peachydreamxx (E, 33k)

Harry's recovering from an injury. Malfoy's recovering from heartbreak. Beaten down and bruised, Harry takes up Malfoy's offer to stay at his secluded seaside cottage in Dorset. It'll be good to get away from it all. It's only for a few days, and it's only so he can heal. Nothing else. Digging up past feelings will only make matters worse, and besides, Malfoy doesn't feel the same way. Does he?

🏝️ LA, Who Am I To Love You? by @epitomereally (E, 42k) ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

Harry’s summer in LA is not going as expected. Pansy Parkinson keeps inviting him to parties in the Hollywood Hills and harassing him to finally go to the physical therapist, Blaise Zabini keeps slipping new strains of his company’s magical weed into Harry’s pockets in hopes of an endorsement, and Draco Malfoy keeps having sex with everyone but Harry.

🧩 The Waiting by @oknowkiss (E, 43.5k)

It’s been almost ten years since Draco Malfoy disappeared during a routine Curse Breaker training exercise. Harry, his partner in more ways than one, is determined to figure out why. As the past resurfaces and the present fades into confusion, Harry discovers the only thing more unreliable than memory is love.

🐶 Everybody Hates a Tourist by @wolfpants (E, 51k)

On a stag do in sunny Brighton with the Gryffindor lads, the last person Harry expects to run into is Draco Malfoy. After a glimpse of Malfoy’s Muggle life in Britain’s gay capital, Harry’s curiosity gets the better of him and he finds himself returning to the seaside again and again, drawn to the city, drawn to this new version of Malfoy that Harry barely recognises from school.

Art:

📸 Alive by @itsphantasmagoria (E)

Harry is lost after the final battle, but he finds comfort from an unexpected source.

🎙️ Why don't you like me? by @caroll-in (T)

Failing to ask Harry out, Draco deals with his feelings in a very dramatic fashion.

🥂 Shivers and Cold Champagne by @maesterchill (T)

Sometimes, you meet someone in the club, and you just know...they’re all in.

🕶️ keep driving by @babooshkart (M)

cocaine, side boob, choke her with a sea view

[justagalwhowrites]

Hi Kit 💜 Im most of the way through a Lavender re-read. They're on the road and Joel’s feelings for Ellie are surfacing. It got me thinking… how would he have reacted arriving to the QZ to find out he had a 5 year old? 💔

Hi Bestie!!

AHHHH A REREAD? OF MY LIL FIC??? Dying 😭 That anyone read it at all let alone wants to re-read it just blows my freaking mind.

OK ON TO YOUR QUESTION!

I'd intended to write a lil fic of this at some point but the more I thought about it the more involved it got and, honestly, I don't want to dedicate that much time to that particular AU. But, because I've thought on it so much, here's some of what I see playing out. It's tucked below the cut (including a Drabble) because it's just so long and there's a scene as well as some bullet points for how I see things going for a while.

I hope you like it!

The Best of Us - Lavender AU

A/N: No real warnings, this is a Drabble. Lil baby Joel and Doc snack for you.

October 6, 2008

You couldn’t put it off any longer. 

You’d shown Joel and Tommy around the whole of the QZ and you’d tried to give Joel space while you did it. You weren’t sure where you really stood with him, what he would want from you. But he’d kept your fingers clutched tight in his grip the whole day, so often pulling you closer so your bodies were aligned and you could feel him beside you, still tall and broad and strong. He was still so substantial, still so… Joel. Still the man you loved more than almost anything else, still the man you’d planned to spend your life with once, still the man who had left you when you begged him to stay. Still the father of your child, something you were still afraid to tell him. 

He was still Joel and, while it felt like he was desperately keeping you close all day, you couldn’t be sure what that meant. It seemed like Joel and Tommy had been on their own for a while. You’d clung to Andrew, too, because he felt safe. You weren’t sure that Joel would want anything to do with you once he got settled in here. He hadn’t wanted anything to do with you before. 

And all that was before the Evie of it all. You hadn’t mentioned your daughter to him. He’d had no idea you were pregnant when the world ended and you had no idea how to bring it up now. Not that you hadn’t thought about it over the years but, for some reason, you’d thought you’d have some notice. You didn’t expect them to just turn up in Boston. You’d expected them to show up in Dallas or Atlanta and you’d hear about it on the radio, coordinate a time to talk to them and see how they were and if they’d even be willing to come to Boston at all. If they weren’t, you weren’t sure you’d even tell Joel about Evie. It seemed like an unnecessary risk because you knew - knew - as soon as you told Joel she existed, he would do everything he could to reach her. She was a child he didn’t plan for, one he didn’t want with you, but one he would do anything for all the same. You would see if they wanted to come to Boston and, if they did, plan to meet them and talk to her in advance so she knew what was going on. 

This had been so sudden. You’d told Evie precious little about her father. She’d asked about him, of course, when she learned that fathers were something children had but she didn’t. You explained that he was far away and that she may never get to meet him but that you knew he loved her very, very much. Because you knew that, if Joel was aware of her, he’d love her with everything he had. That’s who he was. You’d told her how much you loved her father and her big sister, that her father loved to play music and you found some of his favorite CDs at the black market so she could know his favorite songs, that her father used to build things. She didn’t know that he was here. You didn’t know how she would handle that and you didn’t have time to get her ready. 

All you could do now was hope that it went OK for both their sakes. 

“So,” you smiled a little, stopping in front of the apartment you’d helped secure for Joel and Tommy. “This is your place. I’m happy to help you get settled but there should be furniture and some of the basics inside, just whatever was left from people who were there before. FEDRA does a pretty good job of keeping the looting to a minimum in places they’re looking to house people and they check things over before someone moves in.” 

Joel’s grip on you tightened and you took a deep breath, stomach in knots. 

“I was hoping, though, that I might be able to steal Joel for a bit?” You looked between the two men. “Not that it hasn’t been great to see you, Tommy, and I’m so happy you’re here but…” 

“Nah, Kid, I get it,” he gave you one of his signature crooked smiles before clapping Joel on the shoulder. “You two have fun.” 

He got the key out of his pocket and headed up the stairs to his building, and you watched until he went inside. You turned to face Joel and found that he was staring at you, his deep brown eyes tracing over your face again and again. 

“If it’s OK with you,” you said, looking at him. “I’d like to take you to my place? It’s not far and there’s… there’s someone I’d like you to meet.” 

“Sure, yeah,” he said, lifting the hand that wasn’t holding yours but then seemingly thinking better of what he was going to do with it. “Whatever you want, that… We can do whatever you want.” 

You smiled tightly and led the way, clinging to his hand. Who knows if he’d want to keep holding it once he found out about Evie so you were going to touch him while you still could. 

“I’m up there,” you said, stopping at the base of the stairs up to your floor. “You… you should know that I don’t expect anything from you.” He looked confused but you pressed on. “It’s whatever you want to do, OK?” 

“Alright,” he said, brows knitted together. “Don’t much know what you’re talkin’ about but…” 

“It’ll make sense in a minute,” you said. “Just… Know that you don’t have to do anything.” 

You led the way up the stairs and dropped his hand before taking a deep breath and unlocking your front door. 

“…that’s against the rules though,” Andrew was saying as you came inside. He was sitting on the floor by your coffee table, a cracked version of Hungry Hungry Hippos sitting on the gouged wood and your daughter kneeling on a pillow across from him, her back to the door. Her dark curls hung to her hips and Andrew must have tied a ribbon in her half ponytail that morning that was now was hanging on for dear life. “You can’t just pick up the marbles, kiddo, that’s cheating.” 

“But they weren’t coming to my side!” She whined. “It’s not fair!” 

“Too bad for you,” he said, meeting your eyes and smiling a little before nodding in your direction. “Look who’s home!” 

She turned so fast that her hair twirled behind her, her eyes - warm and brown and deep, so like her father’s - wide and excited. 

“Mama!” She shot up from the table and rocketed for you and you caught her out of the air, picking her up and popping her on your hip. Her arms went around your neck and she buried herself in your shoulder for a moment before pulling back to look at you, a stern look on her small face. “Mama, you didn’t take me to school today, I missed you!” 

“I missed you too, baby girl,” you said, tugging her closer so you could kiss her cheek. “But I had something very important to do this morning and you like when Uncle Andrew walks you to school.” 

“I like when Uncle Andrew walks me AND you to school,” she corrected you. “It’s best when it’s both.” 

“I agree, it is best when it’s both,” you smiled a little and nuzzled into her, breathing in the sweet smell of her hair and skin. “But there’s someone I want you to meet. Evie, this is… this is my friend, his name is Joel. Joel, this… this is Evie. Short for Evelyn.” 

You looked away from your daughter, still holding her on your hip as you turned to fully face Joel. He was staring at her, his mouth slightly open, his eyes wet.

“Evelyn?” He asked softly, still watching her. 

“Evelyn,” you said, taking a deep breath. “Evelyn Miller.” 

“Hi!” She said brightly, starting to squirm in your hold. You set her down and she went to Joel, tilting her head all the way back to look up at him. “My mom doesn’t usually bring friends home, why haven’t I met you before?” 

“He just got here,” you said, coming up behind her and resting your hands on her small shoulders, watching as Joel took her in. His eyes lingered on her eyes and lips and hair. You knew he was finding all the parts of him that existed in her - she had so much of him in her - and that he was coming to grips with it all. “He was outside for a long time.” 

“Outside?” Her nose crinkled and she looked over to you. “But you said it’s dangerous out there.” 

“It is,” you said. “That’s why he came here. I knew him a long time ago, before you were born.” 

“Oh,” she said, turning back to Joel. “So did you come here to find my mom? Where did you come here from? Why didn’t you get here sooner? What…” 

“Why don’t we give Joel a minute,” Andrew said, coming over and taking her little hand. “It’s almost bedtime, yeah? Think there’s a little girl here who needs to start thinking about pajamas…” 

“But!” 

“Just getting changed,” he said. “Then you can say hi to Mommy’s friend again and you can drive him crazy with all the questions instead of just me, c’mon.” 

He scooped her up and mouthed ‘you OK?’ once she couldn’t see. You just nodded and he carried her back to her room. You watched them go before turning to Joel who was just staring at the hall they’d disappeared down. 

“I have a fire escape, out the kitchen window,” you said, nodding to it. “It’s pretty private. We can go there and talk.” 

“Yeah,” he said. “Yeah, OK.” 

You opened the window and clambered out of it, Joel following behind you. You took a deep breath, looking up at the moon, giving Joel a second to process everything. 

After a moment of silence, he spoke. 

“You have a daughter,” he said it so quietly. 

You nodded slowly. 

“I do,” you said. “She’s four and a half today, she’s very excited about the half. Apparently those six months are vital at this age…” 

“She…” he leaned on the creaking metal of the fire escape, his fingers clenched tight on the railing. “She was born… April then?” 

“April 6th,” you nodded. 

“Which…” he was fumbling for the words. 

You helped him out. 

“We made her my last trip to Texas,” you said quietly. You leaned back against the railing so you were looking at Joel instead of out to the other side of your apartment complex. 

“Jesus,” he breathed, looking back over his shoulder toward your apartment for a moment. 

“I know this is…” you took a deep breath. “It’s a lot. She doesn’t know that you’re her father and she doesn’t need to know. I know this wasn’t the plan before let alone now, especially not since…” You couldn’t bring yourself to say Sarah’s name. Especially not when you’d told Evie so much about her big sister through the years. “I don’t expect anything from you, Joel. You don’t need to be anything for either of us and I promise you I will take care of her. She’s my whole world, I’ll do everything I can to take care of her and she’s doing OK. Great, under the circumstances. There’s a preschool that some of the moms set up, she hangs out at the clinic with me in the evenings, Andrew does so much for her… I think she might like him better than me some days. I’ve taken care of her without you her whole life and I can just… I can keep doing that, it’s OK. You don’t need to do anything but I… I don’t know. I wanted you to know that she existed. That she has your hair and your eyes and sometimes she frowns like you which is so funny to me since she didn’t learn that, she couldn’t have, she just knows it…” 

“You were pregnant,” he said softly. “During the outbreak, when everything… you were pregnant?” 

You nodded, watching him. 

“And you… you were alone,” he said. “You did all that… you made it here alone, when you were pregnant.” 

“Not alone,” you said. “I found Andrew a few days in…” 

“And he was, what, 12?” He asked, voice sharp. You flinched a little. 

“He was 18 then,” you said. “But we took care of each other…” You watched Joel, his grip on the railing tightening. “What are you thinking?” 

“That I fuckin’ left you to do this on your own,” he snapped. “That I’ve been out there while you were here with our fuckin’ kid! I should have been here this whole time, I should have been there, with you then instead of…” 

“Joel,” you said gently, resting your hand in the middle of his back. He was so large next to you, the span of his shoulders so broad. “It’s OK. You didn’t know, it wouldn’t have been any different and she and I… we’re OK. We made it here, she’s got a roof over her head and food to eat and she’s loved, she’s so loved. She’s doing good.” 

He was quiet for a moment but he didn’t pull away from you. 

“Tell me about her,” he said, his voice pained. “What is she like?” 

“She’s very smart,” you smiled. “She reads very well, she started reading on her own about a year ago. She loves games and she’s very invested in things being fair. She loves animals, we look at old National Geographics all the time, she’s obsessed with giraffes at the moment but she’s also completely blown away by the fact that people had pets before. She desperately wishes she could have a dog in the QZ.” 

You looked at Joel, until his eyes met yours. 

“She’s really the very best of us,” you said quietly. “She’s smart and she’s strong and she’s driven and she cares so deeply. When she loves something she just hangs on so tight, she’s so… She’s doing well and it’s OK if you can’t do this. I know it’s not what you wanted and it’s OK if you can’t or just don’t want to, I don’t expect…” 

“I want to be there,” he cut you off. “She’s… she’s my… I need to be there for her. For her and… and for you. If you’ll let me, I don’t want to blow your lives up, baby, but let me be there for you and her, please.” 

There was a knot in your throat that you couldn’t speak around so you just nodded quickly, feeling Joel’s eyes on you. His large hand found your face, cupping your cheek as his other arm wrapped around you, his fingers spreading wide over your lower back to cradle you to him. 

“Please,” he said again, his eyes searching yours.

You put your arms around his neck and kissed him then, the feel of his lips on yours familiar and comforting, even after so many years. He held you close and tight and, for the first time since before the outbreak, you felt the heat of want flare in your stomach, the drive to feel him as close as possible strong. 

“Let’s go find Mama!” Andrew said loudly from inside and you pulled back from Joel, his hands still on you. 

“I don’t want to tell her who you are just yet,” you said quietly. “I want to ease her into it without it being too confusing but… want to come inside? Get to know your daughter?” 

“Yeah,” he said. “I do.” 

You smiled and took his hand, leading him back into your life. 

Other moments that stand out to me in this AU

It takes Joel and Doc longer to fully get back together, she's very cautious because Evie is involved. She doesn't want to send her mixed signals or confuse her.

Doc and Andrew lived together for the first two years of Evie's life. Joel very much resents that she had her early childhood years with another man and not him as her father figure.

Andrew was there when Doc gave birth. He held her through it and was one of the first people to ever hold Evie. It was love at first sight for him, she basically became his whole baby in that moment.

Joel and Andrew's relationship is even more tense in this version. Andrew is SO protective of Evie and Joel wants to be the man Evie looks to but that takes time. There is far more direct competition here.

Joel and Doc still split when he finds out the details of the pregnancy (namely that she knew about it well before the outbreak and just didn't tell him.) He still blows up at her and blames her for Sarah's death.

They can't stay apart nearly as long, though, as Joel might leave Doc, he cannot leave his daughter. They have to see each other regularly to play pass the kiddo. This leads to a lot more sex and off/on periods between the two of them over the years.

Doc and Tommy's love affair either a) never happens or b) is VERY short-lived. She's the mother of his niece, the relationship is different even though his feelings are the same.

Tommy is far harder on Joel about Doc in this universe because that's the mother of his whole kid right there. Tommy never had much patience for Joel treating doc poorly to begin with but that patience is even more limited in this reality.

Doc stays fully on the hook for Joel more in this fic because they never really have distance. She never dates Derek because she can't ever move enough past Joel to be with anyone else.

I THINK they'd get back together in this version a lot sooner (I'm thinking post McCarthy? They'd sleep together after and Joel would, at that point, I think understand that this isn't going anywhere in a way he doesn't in the OG version) but it's not easy. Joel is still trauma brain Joel in a state of constant retraumatization. They'd fight a lot. He'd still subconsciously try to distance himself from her. It'd be rough.

He's SO protective of Evie. So so SO protective of her. She pushes back against him a ton in her teens because she desperately wants some for of independence and Joel will not let her have it. She sneaks out a lot. Given what happened to Ellie, it's low key a miracle she's not bitten in the QZ.

I'm not sure Joel would take Ellie in this reality. Since he has someone to live for besides Tommy I don't think he'd be as desperate to go on a suicide mission searching for him. But let's say he does, it would mean either a) also bringing Evie along or b) leaving Evie with Andrew and Jess. It would be ROUGH.

I think they would still have Sylvie in Jackson. I think Doc would have always wanted another baby but neither of them wanted to bring a child into the QZ. Jackson - and the person Joel becomes on the way there - makes that possible. This might be the only version of the story that has both Evie and Sylvie in it.

So yeah! I hope that's some insight into this version of the story.

Thank you for asking, Bestie! Love you!!

[lumosinlove]

Christmas Eve Will Find Me

Two: Sirius

Grimmauld Club

London, England

“Do you want to go get a burrito from that place?”

Sirius looked up from his desk. There were miles of paperwork. Mounds of things to do. A five AM flight to catch. God, did he even want to think about it? No. No, he didn’t, not with Remus Lupin looking at him like that. A smile. Hopeful. Sirius wasn’t sure what kind of hope it was. Two friends getting a beer and a meal after a shift? Or—

“Yeah,” Sirius said. “Brilliant, love to.”

Sirius could see himself sitting there, could see the mess of salsa and chips on his plate. Beans and rice that had fallen out. Each time he went back to that tiny restaurant—alone, no one else could know about it, it was theirs—he’d kept looking at the door. He had to stop doing that, they would think he was going to make a run for it. It was ridiculous, him thinking that if he just stared long enough then Remus might walk in. Cash only here, forgot. Just popped to the machine. Flash him a smile. We’re set now.

They’d stayed too long that night. Far too close to their flight. They hadn’t had a thing to drink but Sirius had felt like he had by the end, cheeks hurting from smiling. They’d stood up at the same time, go-bags in hand. So sure of themselves. Such a team. We’ll have to find at least some time to see the sights in Athens—

“You with me, Si?” James’ voice said.

The waiter had just set their drinks down, vest nearly matching the blue-black velvet walls of The Grimmauld Club. Somehow, it was their favorite even though they were never dressed properly for it. Dirty looks for their lack of jacket and tie, but the whiskey was good, they could see all the exits, and the club had their own reasons for letting them get away with it. The club knew who they worked for, at least in theory.

On my way. Remus’ voice said in his mind. Then his own voice. I’ve got you from above.

“Yeah,” Sirius said. “Sorry.”

James had invited him to stay over at his flat last night. Finn, too. Finn had had too many questions and questions weren’t a good fit for a night alone. Sirius hadn’t slept well, squeezed onto the guest bed next to Finn. He’d had the thought that Finn probably hadn’t slept in the same bed as someone since Logan’s death, and then he just couldn’t shake it. Finn had slipped out early in the morning though, because when Sirius opened his eyes he was alone.

“Sorry I’m late,” said a voice from behind them. Accented. American, but not like Finn’s. Louisiana.

Sirius saw James look up first. There was a familiar flash of bright blond hair, a beat up looking computer bag was slung onto the ground, and Leo Knut sat in the chair beside him.

Leo looked between the two of them, then sent a skeptical roll of his eyes around the club. “Didn’t think they were going to let me in.”

James flashed him a small smile. “I think you still forget who you work for sometimes.”

“Oh? And who might that be?”

James’ smile turned wry. “Oh, traffic control of London, of course.”

“Of course.” Leo did laugh, but his eyes were steady when he looked at Sirius. “So, you’ve told Finn.”

“Yeah.”

“Right before wheels up?”

“Yeah.” Sirius knew he would have to go back to his apartment for his bag. But sometimes that one pot in the kitchen stared at him so vividly he thought he would die. Sirius, honestly, you can’t live on take away. Let me make you something.

“What did Finn say?”

“He had a proper freak, to be honest,” James said. “It hurt to watch.” He sent Sirius a sideways look. “He got his hopes up way to fast.”

“So did I,” Sirius said. “Didn’t you?”

James set his glass down hard. “Yeah, but off of a photograph. We’ve got nothing besides that.” Nothing on Logan, he meant.

Leo leaned forward. “Where is he now? His courses are all finished, you can’t just drop that—”

A waiter came up and looked primly at Leo. “May I get you anything, Mr. Knut?”

“Uh—” Leo blinked up at him. “I—just a—what they’re having.”

Sirius saw the waiter give Leo, and his baby face, a skeptical look, but he gave a slight bow and turned away.

“It wasn’t my idea to tell him,” James said. “Sirius insisted.”

“No,” Leo said. “I’m glad you told him, but you can’t just tell him and leave him in the dark.”

“He slept over,” James protested.

“What choice do we have?” Sirius said. “We don’t know anything else, and we’re going to be out of reach. He’ll have to wait.”

Leo scoffed. “Hey, your husband is alive, see you later?”

“May be. May be alive.”

“Before you go shouting at us,” James said. “What exactly are you doing to speed up the process?”

“All that I can,” Leo said. “My facial recognition program is what found Remus.”

Leo’s drink was set down before him, but Leo paid it no mind. He just sent a glance towards the hallway with a simple WC and an arrow on the wall in golden stencil.

That was the other good thing about Grimmauld. It had some very interesting rooms.

James sighed, but made to get up. “They really shouldn’t have put it near the bathrooms. It makes it look like we’re all going to go together.”

Leo’s back room was full of blinking lights and wide monitors.

“Look,” Leo said as he swung into his chair. He clicked around a bit, then pulled up a video file. “This is what the still you saw is from.”

Sirius leaned forward alongside James as Leo hit play. The video had been frozen on a crowded street, not as cropped as they had seen at Salazar. This time, they had to wait for Remus to walk into frame.

“There.” Leo pointed, but Sirius hadn’t needed to be told. He would recognize him anywhere, it didn’t matter how grainy the footage was. He would know his gait. He would know the tilt of his head. Remus eyes were more like blurs, even with Leo’s enhancing technology, but Sirius knew their gold color.

God, Sirius had missed seeing the way Remus walked.

Leo’s finger hit the space bar the moment Remus turned his head. It was close. They could have missed him. He’d only turned when he was almost out of frame, just looking before he crossed the street. Nothing strange, nothing unusual, besides the fact that he was a walking memory. Sirius scanned the background, looking for any eyes on him, but there was nothing. A fruit vendor. The bank whose camera it was. A man putting his wallet away. Someone sitting reading a newspaper at a café table. A mother holding the hands of two children, one of them crying.

“And Logan?” James asked.

“Nothing,” Leo said softly. His voice held some of the hurt that had been in Finn’s voice. Sirius wondered about that sometimes and ached for Leo. “He’s still a ghost. If they’re together, I can’t tell. Or Logan hasn’t been out like Remus has.”

Sirius and James exchanged a look. “Out?”

“If they had really been in Athens all this time, I would have seen them. A camera would have picked them up long before this. And they would have found us if they could.”

“So, what, you think they escaped some type of captivity?”

“Or just Remus. I don’t know. But it’s possible.” Leo frowned. “Why do you think they haven’t contacted us?”

James let out a tired breath and put a hand on Leo’s shoulder. “If we knew that, don’t you think you would know by now, too?”

They drew their chairs close together and stared the footage down, looking for anything to go on. They looked up shop names and got the street name. Lisiou. They clocked nearby hotels, but Remus could have been coming from anywhere, could have taken a bus or a car. He looked clean. Showered and shaven. They watched the footage over and over. Remus appeared from the South and turned his head just as he was almost out of frame, going North.

“Pause it,” Sirius said suddenly. When Leo complied, he pointed. “There’s writing on his t-shirt. Can you make it out?”

“He could have picked it up from anywhere,” James said thoughtfully. “But it’s still something. He definitely wasn’t wearing it when…”

The room quieted, even chilled, until Leo cleared his throat and enhanced the image.

“Shit,” James said when half of a word came into view. “It’s all Greek to me.”

“It’s kind of twisted, but…” Leo frowned and pulled up the Greek alphabet. He went to work matching the letters, and, somehow, the bottom text box began matching them to the nearest English equivalent. “Pi…Piraeus. Piraeus?” Leo muttered the word to himself a few more times before typing it in. “It’s a myth—a city. It’s a bank—though not the one that caught him. And it’s a port.” He pulled up a separate map. “A harbor, there.”

Sirius leaned back. “That’s not too far. That’s a half hour ride at most.”

“We don’t know it actually—”

“We don’t know anything,” Sirius said. “But we start there.” He glanced at the computer clock. “We should get to the airport.”

As they made to go, Leo stopped Sirius with a hand on his arm. His blue eyes looked painfully young just then. Afraid. They weren’t supposed to show fear.

“Sirius,” Leo whispered.

James didn’t stop, too. He knew when someone needed a second. That was the beauty of James.

“I don’t know, Leo,” Sirius answered before Leo could ask.

Leo asked anyway. “Do you think Logan is…”

It wasn’t something he spoke about. It wasn’t something he wanted in his head more than it already was. He didn’t want the tragedy coating his tongue, he didn’t want it blocking his throat.

“I thought I saw both of them…” Sirius swallowed. Die. “Go. I thought…”

Sirius thought maybe Leo was going to press, but he didn’t. He nearly deflated a step backwards. He sank back into his chair with a nod.

“Okay.”

Sirius put a hand on the doorframe. “Are you…”

“I’m gonna stay here a bit.” Leo looked like he was already pulling up footage of the port. Lupin, Remus and Tremblay, Logan typed into a program and the slide of code running fast through the room.

In the hallway, James jingled his keys in his pocket. “Coming to mine?”

“I should go home,” Sirius said. He ran a hand through his hair. He would take hot water while he could. A long shower, alone in the quiet. Who knew when they’d see it again. Safe houses were always safe, that didn’t mean they were always comfortable. “Gotta get my things.”

+++

It was always strange, being in London the night before a mission. There was, of course, the pesky thought that he’d never see this city again. But it looked different, too. The street lights were brighter. The fresh rain on the pavement smelled better. He’d stop for whatever take away of his choosing. They all knew him, the restaurants, but they didn’t at all, did they? He could remember their names, could spot the different take out bags on other customers form a block away. He could say his work kept him up late and smile and laugh with them.

“George,” Sirius said when he entered the small fish and chips shop. It smelled like vinegar and salty chips, frying fish and the paper they got wrapped in.

“Ah, my friend.” George reached across the table to shake Sirius’ hand, then proceeded in getting his unsaid order ready. Strong, capable hands that went through the motions of his life by memory and touch. Watching him made Sirius wish badly for something that familiar. “How are things?”

No one knew about Remus. It was hard to grieve when the only souls he could tell were right there stuck with him.

“Fine,” Sirius said. “The usual.” At least that wasn’t a lie. “How did Matt’s maths test go? He was nervous on Tuesday.”

“Oh, Jesus, what a kid.” George folded the paper expertly, whipping down the sticker with the shop’s logo on it to hold it closed. “Fucking worries about everything. Takes after his mother in that way—and in the way of getting all the answers right.”

“Good.” Sirius smiled and looked down to his wallet, but when he went to hold out his crumbled bills, George put a hand out and simply slid the food over.

“It’s on the house.” When Sirius looked up, alarmed, George shrugged. “No, no, no. Nope. Blame Christmas.”

“I can’t let you do that.” George’s shop was beloved by the neighborhood—his whole family was—but that didn’t mean business was easy.

“You can.” George hesitated. He rubbed a hand on his red beard, blue eyes honest. “If you don’t mind me saying, you’ve not looked your best lately. Matty’s is worried you’re going to, ah, disappear again.”

Disappear. This is what George’s ten year old son Matt called it when Sirius had to work. He was vague about it to them, but honestly probably more up-front than he should be. Five months was too long to pass as a business trip and there were only so many of the agents that could fake trades that took them to archaeologic digs. Sirius didn’t have a family. He didn’t have friends. It was enough for Salazar to expect him to simply lay low. Maybe it was their fault, then, that he’d made this mistake with Matt. He could still see himself crouching down in front of him. With his mother’s dark hair, he looked a little like Regulus had when he was little.

Sometimes, Sirius had said. Sometimes I just have to disappear for a while.

“Just for a bit,” Sirius said softly. He put his money away and picked up his meal. “Tell…Tell him goodbye for me, all right?”

George’s mouth pulled to the side, but he nodded. “All right. And what about Remus? Will we be seeing him around? Matty’s taken a real shining to him, too. It’s been a while.”

Two days ago, Sirius would have had to leave without answering. No. He’s dead. He’s dead, he’s dead, and I never—I never told him that I—

“Maybe.” Sirius flashed him a brief smile. Please, please, maybe.

“Gonna be back for Christmas?”

“Maybe not,” Sirius said. He held up the packet. “Thanks. Really. I’ve got to run.”

“All right.” George sighed and it sounded almost resigned. “All right but… If you need anything…Okay?”

Sirius nodded. “Okay. You, too.”

The bell above the shop door sent him right back.

“I like them,” Remus said. He had already torn open his packet and was munching on a chip with a satisfied smile. He bumped their shoulders together. “I also like you with them.”

“What does that mean?” Sirius had asked.

It had been cold like this then, too. Remus had been wearing a green beanie, pulled low.

“You smile more with them.”

Usually, before a flight, he didn’t sleep at all. He could tell himself he would sleep as he walked down his familiar street. He could take his keys out of his pocket as he opened the low iron gate and tell himself he was going to take a shower and fall right into bed. He could say all of this to himself, but he knew he would end up on his couch, staring at nothing in particular until he had to go.

Remus had changed some of that. For a moment. For a second. Get some sleep. Laying down beside him, tucking his hand beneath his own pillow. Just close your eyes.

God, Sirius had a single glimpse of a moment where he had thought his life might change for the better.

He looked up, preparing himself to face that same room, empty now.

Finn O’Hara was on his stoop.

“No,” Sirius said before he could ask.

Finn looked just as restless. “I’m coming with you.”

[millenialmfa]

Bridgerton Thoughts

That literally no one asked for or cares about, but I need them out of my brain before season 3.

This will have some book spoilers, so be warned. Also, for context, I’ve watched season 1 & 2 and Queen Charlotte. I’ve read books 4, 5, and 6.

Who is season 4 about?

I think it will either be Benedict or Francesca. I think Benedict is the more obvious choice (I’ve heard murmurs that people think Sophie will be introduced this season). I also think Netflix would be aware of how upset people were initially that the show wasn’t going in book order. Also, for plot reasons for Eloise’s future season, Benedict kind of needs to be married with a kid.

However, I think it is very possible Francesca may get her season next, depending on how they handle her this season. If they have her meet and marry John this season, they could easily frame the next season around her and Michael. But honestly, whether this works or not is really going to depend on the amount of screen time she gets. I would wager most people who haven’t read the books completely forgot that she’s even a Bridgerton sibling.

Why can’t next season be Eloise’s season?

This is honestly for fully selfish reasons. Eloise’s book has been my absolute favorite so far. I LOVE her love interest (very largely in part because he has the same name and personality as my spouse). Because of this, I want them to do her story right, and I don’t think they will capture the magic of that book with the current state of Phillip and Eloise in the show.

Eloise needs a lot of character development in my opinion (not a dig at her, I’m so excited to see how she grows and I think it will be very rewarding). Maybe it’s possible that they do it all in this season, but I don’t want them to rush it. It is critical that by the time Eloise gets married, her and Pen are friends again. I will be heartbroken if they drag out the mending of this friendship for multiple seasons. Technically yes, Eloise’s wedding is literal weeks after Pen’s in the book, but I think the show writers can easily navigate this. Maybe instead of Pen’s wedding being the catalyst, it will be her pregnancy in a later season that pushes Eloise towards Phillip.

Now onto Phillip. The issue being that Marina is still alive, and his children are way too young at the moment. Could the show have Eloise be the stepmother to toddlers? Yes, but is that as rewarding? No. In the books, Eloise is the favorite aunt and has incredible experience with kids. This is what endears Phillip’s eight-(?)year-olds to her. In the show however, she doesn’t seem to particularly care either way about her nephew. Also, it’s not nearly as impressive to win over someone’s toddlers as it is to win over the absolute devil children (lovingly) that Philip has in the book.

The other issue is that in the books, Eloise has already turned down multiple marriage proposals for a variety of different reasons. What’s so fun is that these suitors’ “shortcomings” end up being massive character traits of Phillip. He is NOT perfect. He frustrates her and she frustrates him. But he is a good person. Your spouse isn’t supposed to be perfect, they are someone you choose to love because your life is better with them in it, in spite of their flaws.

Long story short for this one, I hope it’s not Eloise because I love her story so much, it would break my heart to see them do it poorly.

Season 3

I’m so freaking excited. This upcoming season is the reason I even started watching Bridgerton. I had heard about the steamy Netflix regency show, and honestly never had a huge interest…UNTIL I heard the next season would feature a love interest who is considered “plus size”. I’ve always been in the size 12-16 range, so this intrigued me. I knew I wanted to watch season 3, so I watched the show and even read 3 of the books (now I’m hooked).

I’m excited because it looks like the writers are definitely keeping some of the incredible scenes from the book, but I’m also excited about the potential differences. Especially when it comes to Lady Whistledown and the Peneloise friendship.

And speaking of friendships: I am feral with the idea that I will (hopefully) get to see Lady Danbury and Pen’s friendship on screen. Their scenes together were such a treat as I was reading, and I would give my left tit for them to keep those interactions in the show.

And of course, the music! Secretly hoping for a rendition of Unholy or Heart Attack.

The Colin discourse~

I’ll be honest, I’m a demisexual/virgin!Colin truther. I was really excited about the prospect of a male lead with no experience but a whole lotta lust. I was a little disappointed in the news that came out from the Sun article (though honestly I’ve lost the plot on whether it’s been confirmed or disproven). However, I think there’s the possibility that this could still be interesting for his character and for foreshadowing.

If he does indeed go see sex workers, who’s to say that they won’t have red hair? Or be on the curvy side 👀. Would be a fun little Easter egg to display Colin’s preferences.

As for the voyeurism … kind of interesting to me that he takes the wallflower role in the bedroom with people he’s not emotionally connected to. Kind of like Penelope preferring to watch the drama unfold from the sidelines. I think it’s an interesting parallel that shows that both leads watch others as a spectacle or show, and prefer to really connect and engage with select people. Yes, Colin is sociable and charming; but it’s superficial. He laughs and has deep conversations with Penelope almost exclusively.

It’s also possible that Colin is seeking out sex workers because he has no desires for the women he meets on his travels. Maybe he’s trying to explore why none of the women he meets give him butterflies. Perhaps he seeks out these workers because he doesn’t have to connect with them. He likes that the presence of feelings are unnecessary with them. He doesn’t have to fake his disinterest.

Ultimately, I don’t think him seeing sex workers is a sinking of his character. I think it could serve to show that the only person for him (romantically and sexually) has always been Pen. I think it’s an opportunity to show differences in how he physically engages with others vs his future wife.

And I still disappointed? Yeah, a bit. But if it’s happening, I’m gonna try to give a positive twist to it. *I want to note, i am not upset that they are sex workers. I think sex work is real work and they should be protected. I honestly prefer this to him being romantically/emotionally involved with someone. I was just really hoping he would be as inexperienced as Pen*

Future Seasons

What am I hoping to see in future seasons? I’m excited at the prospect of continued diversity within the love interest casting. As far as I know, Sophie (Benedict), John (Francesca), Michael (Francesca part 2), Lucy (Gregory), and Gareth (Hyacinth) have not been cast yet. These are all great opportunities to bring in more actors of color.

I suspect Gareth will be played by a black actor, considering in the books he is Lady Danbury’s grandson.

I would be OVER THE MOON for Michael Stirling to be played by an Asian actor. Michael is arguably one of the “hottest” most “playboy” characters of the books, and it would be nice to see this played by an Asian actor. Unfortunately, American media doesn’t often portray Asian men as the typical “hottie” or “leading man,” though it has gotten better in recent years.

I’d also love to see a Latinx actor cast as a love interest. I feel that sometimes this group gets overlooked a lot in “diversity conversations.” Though I may be projecting a bit with this one, as my boss recently said she “forgot about the Hispanic population” when talking about diversity goals. As part Puerto Rican (thought very white presenting) that still didn’t feel super great.

I saw the article recently that said Bridgerton wants to bring in more LGBTQ+ storylines in future seasons. Now, I’m a staunch advocate for each Bridgerton sibling ending up with their book love interest. BUT, how incredible would it be if those character were gender bent? Same character traits, storylines, names (example, Lucien instead of Lucy), but now a queer love story can be explored in a way that doesn’t alienate fans of the books.

I don’t think the showrunners will actually do this, as it’s more likely stories for side characters (ex: Brimsley), but it’s fun to dream about a queer couple being the front and center leads of a whole season. Especially if it’s in a way that doesn’t give people the excuse to complain that it ignores the book characters. Nope, it’s the same character, just a different gender.